#go see a girl about a thing

[secondbrightspot]

A story of a show. Because I need to get this written down so that I can move on.

On Friday November 18, 2022, I drove 90 minutes to Irvine to see Ashley Gavin perform stand-up comedy at the Irvine Improv. I purchased my ticket on stubhub(.com) after receiving a text that she was performing in SocCal. After a rough work week, I left my house and at least made it into the car with enough time to make it into the theater by 730.

I sat in my driveway for an untenable 10-15 minutes, frustrated that I couldn't find the download link for my ticket. I was late by this point and the evenings are dark earlier in the fall. Kinda nervous, I decided to leave anyway and hopefully pick up my tickets at the window at the Irvine Improv.

The drive was smooth with enough traffic to creepingly, increase my lateness. I always forget how chic Irvine sees itself. The parking garage was free, Thank God.

I looked fall as fuck. Hair in a loose bun, gold disk earrings, mod brown and tan and orange sweater with jeans and ballet flats. I felt soft, but proper. Perfect fall. And I had a reason to go out.

Rushing, by the time I navigated the mall and made it to the ticket counter, I was 20 minutes late.

Things got worse when I got to the ticket counter. My name was not on the purchased tickets list. The ticket man (who clearly had encountered this situation before, but was hoping it could be resolved with minimum fuss as he had zero power to resolve anything) informed me that they could not give me a ticket and most likely I had been scammed. The third party had taken my money and had not given me my ticket. I was suddenly and unexpectedly far from home and ticketless.

I tried: "Are you sure? There's nothing you can do?" I tried, "I just drove up from San Diego." Nothing could be done. Dejected, I stepped to the side of the window and tried to collect myself.

I heard a woman behind me ask what had happened and then felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned. She was tall and thin with short hair, Heels and a peasant blouse topped dress and snowy green eyes. She was there alone with an extra ticket, and asked if I would go with her. I was in. We sat down near the rear left. The theater seats 500 and is the first of 3 nights in Irvine for Ashley Gavin. The opener is almost done by the time we are shown our seats. He is a thirty something man, his act is almost over, I remember a joke about his father being a cardiologist. My heart was racing because I was so happy to be inside. That timing was perfect. I bought my rescuer a drink (Stella for her) as a thank you.

The opener said goodbye and walked off the stage.

Then Ashley Gavin came out onto that stage and she was MAD. Or frustrated. Or disappointed. She yelled at the audience for not laughing at the opener. She explain complained about the judgement and uptightness that we as a gay audience have on comedians (regardless of sexuality) that have to follow a laughless opener. It's hard. It is no longer a safe space for a performer if the audience starts the evening with judgement based on outward appearance.

We are there to laugh. So laugh goddammit it. She gleefully skipped past decorum to get to the reaction that she needed. She tried to tough-love teach us how to be a more receptive crowd (missing her Carnaval Cruise passengers was a theme she touched on repeatedly). She passing swung at Southern Californians fakeness.

What showed up on stage was a comedian who, the day after her birthday (she told us during the set), flew into a city, jetlagged, and immediately performed comedy for a group of tired SoCal corporates and queers.

In the first few minutes, she said she had planned to do her material from her upcoming special, but that she was deciding whether to do it. If we were a good enough audience, she would do some of it. (Spoiler: no matter how we tried, we weren't a good enough audience). There was some stellar crowd work involving a table of business lenders, and an orca trainer. In her act, there are beautiful jokes. Some fast. Some silly. Some that shove your face into a brutal structure of shock value for a laugh and a lesson that nothing is sacred. Well constructed, crass, and correct.

I loved every second of that uncomfortable show. I haven't stopped thinking about it. It was Entertaining. It felt like there was a happy place where Ashley wanted us to be, but she decided to turn the car around and tell us she was disappointed in us instead. For not laughing at our annoying brother. But to her point, our annoying brother can be funny, and we should have been prepared to laugh with him instead of defaulting to annoyed. I didn't see most of the act, so idk. But I guess he was responsible for the verion of Ashley Gavin's show that I did get to see that night. It became clear we were going to laughing AND learning.

With a start like that, the night turned into a puzzle of actions and reactions. Of laughter and anxiousness. The crowd didn't know what she wanted and tried to give it to her anyway. She didn't know what we wanted either. And tried to give it to us anyway. And you know, because it's comedy, sometimes we were all just laughing and getting yelled at for it.

The show ended abruptly, in overtime and on a laugh.

Show over, I talked to the young woman (name forgotten) I was with while we waited for the theater to empty. I hate a queue. I asked what she did for work. At first she told me that she used to work in corporate. After a few questions she blurted that she now works at an underground poker ring. From Finance to Finance. She started as a hostess and now is in a partnership with the owner. I asked how she got into the game. And she said that she met her partner at the gym, when she was using one of the machines, and he approached her and offered her a job.

We walked out of the theater, Ms. Gavin was sitting on a chair wearing (what I can only remember as) in beige with a line of women stretching around the corner for her meet and greet. My new friend said she had to go to the bathroom. I said ok and told her goodbye. She paused and asked if I was getting merch or standing in-line. I said no and left. I walked past the queue and found my way out of the mall. On the drive home, I kicked myself for not exploring that further. I mean...the stars aligned in a wierd way for us to meet. I wasn't in the mood, I guess. Pretty sure she wanted to hang out further. Underground poker? Red flag? I wish her safety on her journey.

Kicking myself a lot a bit, I drove home.

I thought about that show until I got home. Then I thought about that show for the next 2 days. I sat in those wierd feelings. Why did she make those choices?

I keep having flashbacks about how she showed up on stage and handled the crowd. And she was clearly professional enough to handle a crowd.

She accused us of having wierd energy and then had a woman in the audience back her up and agree that we were off and that we were, indeed, a bad crowd. Despite the mass gaslighting, this tactic worked. We laughed at her frustration in us. We laughed because she told us to. And felt better for having laughed. It felt like laugh yoga.

Our reactions slid into genuish not genuine, but close enough. She was so fast. Delightfully, consistently aggressive in her delivery. I couldn't tell which way we were going, as she was leading. But I smiled the whole time. Happy to see where this performance was going. It felt like a transition. But at one point I was grinning so HARD at the overriding awkwardness that we were all sitting in that I KNEW that I was getting new wrinkles on my face, and I didn't care because I was happy that they were coming from laughing. She wanted to give us a good time. But, If she wasn't yelling at us for How we were laughing, she was yelling at us for When we were laughing. Parts of the show were free form and fast. She's clever.

Still, I felt pitted against whatever part of the audience wasn't getting yelled at.

Actually, she told us, who she was comparing us to... that perfect Carnival Cruise audience. Those assholes.

But we're not them. And they aren't us.

There's something there about bridging that gap. 10/10 experience. I hope she was having a good time. Cause we did. She's funny. Fucking interesting show. I got so much to think about.

Oh and she had a joke that just laid me on my ass and made me see an unknown part of myself waving at me from still inside the fucking closet. I remember, like, barking a laugh kinda in shock at her bluntness in a joke about tits and mothers. When the audience reacted in parallel, she told us that we were fooling ourselves.

I've been thinking (uncomfortably) about her point for the last few days. I had thought myself more of a daddy-issues-kind-of-woman. I had tied a nice little therapeutic bow on that problem years ago. But of COURSE....She's sneaking self realization into a punchlines. How fucking annoying and delightful.

Those are the thoughts. You should sign up to get her texts, you only get an alert when she performs near you. Then, when you get the text, actually go see her show. She's absolutely worth the watching.

#ashley gavin #irvine improve #irvine ca #lgbtq comedy #straight comedy too #comedy #of course you exist #keep going #friday out alone #go see a girl about a thing

[homeforclones]

The difference between Season 1 and Season 3 of the Bad Batch

Season 1: Omega: Crosshair, can I have a hug? Crosshair: The audacity??? Of this Child??? Nothing would revolt me more than to show any kind of weakness to sate your neediness. Season 3: Omega: Crosshair, you're getting a hug. Crosshair: The charity??? Of my Sister??? Nothing would give me more joy than to be hugged by the Literal Angel that you are, though I am a lowly worm.

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb season 3 #tbb spoilers #tbb finale #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch spoilers #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #soft crosshair #good brother crosshair #omega #crosshair #crosshair deserves a hug and he gets a hug #one of my favorite things about the series is the way he learned to love her more than anything #i have one critique about the finale but that is not it #how am i supposed to go on without them #how is life supposed to have meaning when I do not get to see war hardened men adore a little girl more than life itself #season 3 omega is the type to see that you need a hug and then you get a hug #she has declared it #ugh i just love them #and i love how crosshair just doesn't hide that he adores Omega #he tried for approximately one (1) episode and then he just gave in

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The girls are here!!!

#dungeon meshi #maizuru #inutade #izutsumi #benichidori #hien #Was this the Kabru episode that really shows off how perceptive and fascinated by humans to be a foil to Laios"s monster obsession? #Sure was. Was the funny comic I made not yet quite relevant for where the anime is currently at? SURE WAS. #Funny comic will be next week. This week is for THE GIRLS!!! #Tade is adorable and a lot of fun to draw. I really love her friendship with Izutsumi. #speaking of...IZUTSUMI IS FINALLY HERE! #Initially I wasn't going to draw Beni and Hien but I would hate to let the few fans they have. #So here's some Beni and Hien. For all five of you Beni and Hein fans. #Makeup girls are wild because they'll be like 'I'm getting ready to go out!' and then take 60-90 min in front of the mirror. #I adore the bonus comics where Ryoto Kui does the step by steps of how characters do their makeup and hair. #I personally know very little about those things so it's cool to see how thought out it all is.

[lgbtlunaverse]

Most annoying NMJ or JC take is when someone that dislikes them is like "oh you're a fan of him? *scoff* Well obviously you've only seen cql, where he was super watered down. In the novel he's a dislikable asshole and that's the objectively superior canon I'm working from instead of your woobified fanfic." Meanwhile your main canon is novel canon and you genuinely find novel Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue complex sympathetic characters.

#complaining and whining about fandom #mdzs #cql #the untamed #nie mingjue #jiang cheng #WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO THEM #it's quite funny because in nmj's case i actually see shit from cql being carried over to novel canon to hate on him #for example my's treatment under the nie was explicitly much worse in cql because they transplanted the langya captain to qinghe #while the worst we see post-promotion in the novel is cultivators (WHO AREN'T EVEN NIE!) wiping ther teacups #(they're visiting from other clans like xichen. That's also why none of them had seen meng yao before.) #you can absolutely choose to interpret that worse things were happening to him at the hands of the nie off-page #it's definitely possible! but cql has people acting like it's objective canon #also the thing about empathy being inaccurate and biased in nmj's favor #that's another cql thing. in novel canon wwx can and does see things nmj does not notice (like the teacups!) #so even if he has some insight into nmj's thoughts and feelings it quite literally can't be showing things exclusively from his perspective #it was a pretty cool ceative decision from cql! gave us some very interesting character moments! #but sometimes i see people discuss the novel going 'and this was warped by nmj's bias i bet he was even worse in reality' girl wrong medium #in jiang cheng's case a lot of hate seems to be coming from the corner of cql!mains too #so clearly it can't be *that* big a difference in likability

[findafight]

Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.

Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.

Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!

#if i have to see another fic or whatever that makes it seem like robin doesnt give a shit about what steve likes and talkes about im going #to scream and maybe even rampage #its nice to sit down and have someone who knows explain who the players are and what the stakes for this particular game!! #just because yall seem to not think anyone can be nutral towards sports doesnt mean people aren't #literally why is it so hard to believe robin would like to hear steve talk as much as steve likes to hear her talk #i am so close to telling some steddie shippers to not look at steve or robin or their friendship because some of yall do Not get it. #its like you can see them go 'have to make sure eddie is the most perfect specialest boy for steve...well that means robin doesn't Get Him ' #or 'robin ignores him/dismisses his interests/isnt told everything happening in his life' like okay dont ever touch them again thanks #robin is steves specialest sunshine cupcake goober girl. steve is robins bestest happy times sweet funnyman. dont u dare take that away. #omce again tsgs longer than the post but ah well. #stobin #platonic stobin #robin buckley #steve harrington #stranger things #finda's rambles #steve and robin #this is a scheduled post just to jazz things up i guess #but seriously some of yall need to STOP MESSIGN WITH STOBIN

[haunted-xander]

I think Ryne would have a kinda skewed sense of what's normal. Like, she may technically know what's "normal" for most people, but what's normal for her is way different. She's raised by two men who are both Weird, only one of which can even pretend to be normal (and like hell Thancred bothered with that while on the run with Ryne lol)

Ryne thinks that talking circles round pixies is common knowledge from her many stays in Il Mheg. It is not. She also thinks knowing how to and being able to stomach skinning and gutting animals for food is normal. It's certainly more common, but unless you're a hunter it absolutely does not come as easily. Being able to walk and run around quietly is something she technically knows is unusual, but since her company has mainly consisted of a professional spy and a man who barely leaves home she tends to forget that most people can't do that.

I can't come up with anymore atm but. Ryne should get to be just a little weird(er) I think

#i also think this would make interactions with gaia funnier #bc for all of gaias Baggage she is more or less a normal teenager #who has normal reactions to things (mostly) #ryne & gaia go camping a bit and ryne finds and hunts down like a boar #and gaia watches in horror as ryne just guts it right there bc ryne forgot most ppl dont like to see that process #(and then she repeatedly apologizes for her oversight and promises not to do it in front of her again) #(gaia didnt care THAT much but appreciates the thought anyway) #anyway. my little baby girl i love her and want her the best always #ryne waters #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #< just mentioned (sorta) #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne #not the typical deep ranting BUT IT COUNTS

[mamawasatesttube]

it's like, i really do enjoy most of the bats as characters and i really do like a lot of their comics. but also i am sooooo tired of them being hailed as better than literally everyone else. both in fanon but also in comics (modern ones are esp egregious imo, like WHAT was that shit about batman and the joker being the most dangerous men on the planet. hi. have you heard of lanterns? speedsters? supers? actually if i keep listing groups who could kick batman's ass we'd be here all day). they're like kudzu. that shit needs to stay in its native environment (funky little neo-noir detective stories) and stop being an invasive species (putting down everyone else to make them seem cooler). put bruce wayne back into a murder mystery setting that isn't about saving the world but is about saving one person or one family that no one else would've saved right now or so help me god. the whole invasive species cross contamination thing is unhealthy for both him And the other ecosystems he keeps getting transplanted into. please. it's so dark in here

#rimi talks #imo it's also like a massive escalation problem like Everything has to be huge immense world ending bullshit plots #rather than ''i am going to solve a local mystery to help local people'' things. which are important also #um. points at action comics 792. you see like superman does here? caring about one person who someone thought wouldn't matter to anyone? #sorry im just going to go on a superman tangent but ac791 and 792 both absolutely gutted me and everyone should read them #both are pretty standalone and both ruined me #one is about something tragic that happened when clark was in high school #and just wanted to try and help a girl everyone was bullying for being fat. and they became friends and had a good time at a dance together #and then the second one is about him noticing the chatty guy who runs the newspaper stand where he stops sometimes is missing #and then just stopping at nothing to try and find him. even though he's someone he barely knew outside of being a regular at his stand #and it just really got me. my god. more of that pleaseeeeeee 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕

[naturecalls111]

Me, consuming any other media ever: how can I make this about zosan

#nc111 talks #zosan #this is about me playing fe3h for the eighteen billionth time and finding little delusional concepts in sylvix that makes me go #'nod nod nod that's so zosan of them so true' #like objectively it really isn't zosan of them at all but sometimes I see it between the lines and I'm like oh zosan sunglasses emoji #if you dare me i can even find the lawlu in sylvix im so talented #I'm not even kidding if someone made a game out of turning things into zosan i would never lose #i had an ant infestation in my bathroom the other day and I made it about zosan #my brother was like WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES THAN YOUR YAOI RIGHT NOW #like........ there is no bigger issue than my yaoi at any given moment.....ever.......... #whispers although I have to admit I enjoy the sylvix dynamic more than i do the zosa- *gets shot* #im so sorry there's just only so much bickering i can take before i'm like *smacks ship* I NEED YOU TO BE MORE BLATANTLY KIND TO EACH OTHER #In a way that doesn't feel so teeth-gritty or. well. OOC. LOL #Anyone who likes sylvix AND zosan will know what i mean I'm not going to explain it. iykyk #WAIT LMAO IM NOT DONE. EDIT: #when my first boyfriend broke up with me i was a melodramatic little shit about it #had a diary that i would like pour my heart into and the other day i came across it #and it's really telling that my first thought was “omg.... so zosan-” LIKE GIRL GET A GRIP YOU ARE DETACHING FROM REALITY #all for zosan CRIES ALL FOR ZOSAN...

[recycledraccoon]

I have evolved into Scuttlespring anon, just say anything about them. I love them so much

THE ANON PANTHEON GROWS

Ok so. Gorgug likes Mary Ann because she absolutely infuriates him but also, and perhaps more importantly, because she has a type of confidence I think a younger Gorgug would have deeply envied. She's so weird, but entirely sure of herself. She likes what she likes and anyone who would have a problem with that is absolutely beneath her notice. She has friends not despite her oddities, but because she refuses to bend about them and that confidence is incredibly attractive in a person. Mary Ann Skuttle see's something she wants and she just...goes and gets it, easy peasy. Tiny little kobald strides, but when she puts her foot down with force, Gorgug thinks she could crush a mountain under with nothing so much as a blink or falter of her stride. She's certainly physically strong enough for it, and while Gorgug is undisputedly the better fighter, Mary Ann has a physical strength hidden under soft pastel pink hoodies and can, has, and will knock Gorgug on his ass. Gorgug got THRASHED at those Bloodrush field tryouts, and I'm certain he probably got his ass handed to him more than once during the year while at practice but before he quit the team. She made him so damn mad, everything that year was, and endlessly kind Gorgug got real mean to her over it. She was better than him, more casually confident, and didn't blink ONCE at his outburst. And later? When she was resurrected and freed from possession? He talks to her, acknowledges that it was just a game but he had been actually mad to be so easily knocked aside. He never really had to work at Bloodrush to be good at it, he just was, until suddenly she proved herself better.

And yet, without flinching, Mary Ann, famous for not giving a shit but listening to Gorgug say how much he had, just....asks if he has a girlfriend. Unparalleled confidence, shooting a shot he was unprepared for. Planets aligned even as his own orbit was knocked off course. And then, when he admits he doesn't even know where to get a quokki pet, something its been explicitly known to be something she really cares about? She writes down her number, letting him see that folded paper. She initiated this, and he got swept up in it, but instead of just handing over the number and allowing him to be swept up- Mary Ann Skuttle puts the number away and tells him shes gonna put it where you get quokki pets, and if he wants her number he's going to have to go get it. He's not allowed to just be swept up in the force of her, she wants him to put in effort, prove to her and himself that this isn't just a moment but a starting point. He cant be swept up by the tide, he's gotta swim. Gorgug liked Zelda, but their relationship started because they thought she was in danger and Gorgug had the best in. He stumbled into that relationship unsure and off balance, he never would have had the confidence to pursue Zelda without his friends hands on his back and their advice in his ears. Later on he gets more serious, he did love her and he put in the work to maintain that relationship, but it didn't work out and that's ok. Ever confident Mary Ann tho? She doesn't want unsure stumbling steps into this relationship. If Gorgug doesn't make the active decision to chase her, to WANT to be with her and putting deliberate effort to get there, then she doesn't want him at all. Gorgug, confused, asking where you even GET a quokki pet? And she smirks, calls him a loser, and walks away leaving him reeling and dumbfounded. Mary Ann Skuttle wants Gorgug to work for this. And who is Gorgug Thistlespring, but someone who puts in the work for things he wants? He did the seemingly impossible by creating his own subclass of Barbaficer, even if he had to take four years of schooling all at once. He puts in the work and makes the impossible possible, the greatest wizard of this age. So yeah. Yeah. Gorgug Thistlespring likes Mary Ann Skuttle because she makes him work for it.

#me: “im going to briefly talk about gorgug then speculate about why mary ann likes him back” #surprised pikachu face'd myself lmao #mary ann skuttle #gorgug thistlespring #gorgug x mary ann #gorgann #skuttlespring #sometimes you start writing something and it just starts making ALOT of sense #also i didnt get into speculations of mary ann's perspective #but i bet she REALLY likes Cloaca even if gorgug is the worst at naming things #mary ann would see a robot bird dragon pet thing and go “thats cute” #big tough bad kid?? multi-times savior of the world??? incredibly smart and very first barbaficer in the whole of spyre??? #no he's a tall dorky teen boy who made a robot bird with the worst name in the world that he cant seem to change #he's a loser #mary ann just happens to be into that #this is the popular cool girl being really into the nerdy kid dynamics #except the nerdy kid also happens to be an incredibly popular hero/jock/rockstar #and the popular cool girl has all of that self-confidence while also technically being a nobody in the eyes of the school at large

[rosicheeks]

Him: “how’s my favorite girl?”

Me: …….🥺😳🫣😍🥰😍🥰🥰😍🥰😘🥰🥰😍🥰😘🥰😍🥰😍😘🥰🥰😍😘🥰😍😘🥰😍😘😍🥰😍😍😘

#don’t mind me #just thinking about my future bf/loml #and all the cute things they are going to say to me #to make me swoon and fall head over heels for them #and it’ll be their favorite thing to make me blush #so they’ll always want to outdo themselves #say something a little different and out of the blue to see me go #🥺🫣🫣🫣🫣 #I’ll try to hide my face and they’ll just grab my hand instead #‘you can’t hide your cute face from me’ #‘don’t you know???? you’re mine’ #guys I’m not ok #I’m thinking some super cute thoughts #and I want them now pls 😤 #rosie speaks #also idk if this has been done before so sorry if it has????? #I just really want to be someone’s favorite girl 😤

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

"girls support girls-" okay but are you normal about queer women? are you normal about BIWOC? are you normal about disabled women? are you normal about autistic women? are you normal about fat women? alternative women? unattractive women? are you normal about women who choose not to shave their legs and armpits and faces? are you normal about butches and tomboys and masculine women? are you normal about trans women? are you normal about trans men? are you normal about nonbinary folk and people who lie outside the gender binary or renounce gender all together? are you normal about women who absolutely despise and detest the latest trends? are you normal about weird women who unsettle you with their interests? are you normal about women who don't wear makeup, who will never wear makeup, who openly dislike makeup and the makeup industry?

#ive seen a LOT of (usually white cis het) women and girls on instagram say shit like girls support girls and then turn around and shit on #women who dont follow trends #i really hate it when a woman posts about how they dislike [insert trendy thing here] and all of a sudden shes a pick me who doesnt like #other girls #ESPECIALLY when it comes to things like makeip #*makeup #its really pissing me off #this and the rise of the 'im just a girl' 'girl math' 'girl dinner' 'girlhood is-' #SHUT UP!!!! #WOMEN HAVE MANY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES!!! #if i have to see one more 'normalize femininity' post again im going to LOSE IT #alas i need instagram because i contact people from my school on there #me posts #edit: something else ive seen is just how prevalent white feminism has become #white feminism and blatent radfem rhetoric has just started being spread EVERYWHERE #like holy shit we are regressing

[kaltacore]

merrill dragon age isn't The Character in terms of being the guy with the juiciest backstory details or protagonist material but she is The Person. The Heart. she was working on one of the most important researches of elven history and no one believed in her. not her keeper, her teacher and mother figure. nor her clan, the only family she's ever had. nor hawke's friends, the only people who were surrounding her for six years. the only person who can actually place their faith in her is hawke but if they don't she won't mind. she is used to it, being on her own. and, despite everything, she believes in people. she knows it matters. better than anyone.

she has never heard a nice word from fenris, but she still tries to cheer him up from time to time. she has never heard a nice word from anders either and she still feels for him. varric annoys her when he tries to distract her from the eluvian, but she appreciates it because she knows he means well. aveline refers to her work as senseless and potentially dangerous for the city, but she is still happy for her when she falls in love.

if hawke sides with mages in the last straw merrill is the first to support them. "I believe in you, hawke", she says, when everyone else is consumed by doubt. and then she's the only one who openly suggests sparing anders. so he can put things right.

she knows the feeling. when you're on your own and everyone thinks you're beyond salvation, undeserving of compassion or understanding. and this is the best she can offer for people she cares about: her unconditional faith, her sympathy, a second chance. the things she was desparately looking for and never had. she believes in people because she knows: there's no one else to believe in them

#going through my screenshots and every time i see 'i believe in you hawke' i want to explode #she's an unacknowledged genius but also she's the brightest person in kirkwall with the heart of gold #and i wish we talked about her smartness and willingness to discuss and defend her opinions more #but she's also genuinely such a good person. not in the 'haha silly pretty and clueless naive girl' way #but in the 'thoughtful and caring and compassionate woman who tries to learn from her mistakes and deepest regrets' way #her banters are full of these themes. believing and second chances and atonement and it just makes me feel things #if i were to put it all in this post it would be practically endless because i really lack the ability to shut up #spiraling back into my merrill brainrot. i love her i love her i love her so much #merrill #dragon age

[houseswife]

yeah your boyfriend peeled you an orange but would he fake his death to make you his afterlife? would black flowers blossom, fearless on his breath?

#see house would absolutely fucking not peel that orange #but only because wilson would never ask #academic citation: (‘You would pick up my laundry if I asked you to’ ‘Go ahead. Ask’ ‘I wouldn’t do that to you’) #as for the opposite scenario #house wouldn’t ever say peel me an orange #he would just wait for wilson to peel one for himself and then steal that #if he ever did ask him to peel one it would be for the exact reason all these girls on tiktok r doing it #I mean he basically already did that experiment with the borrowing money thing LOL #but yeah I think wilson either do it as quickly and efficiently as possible if the circumstances are dire enough for house to be believably #sincere in his request #or he would get innedietly suspicious and interrogate him about what he’s up to #probably both actually #I digress #sometimes an act of service is going down with him hand in unlovable hand #house md #greg house #gregory house #hilson #james wilson #house/wilson #hatecrimes md

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Turtles and Tribulations

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #bonus comic #lan jingyi #ouyang zizhen #nameless red diciple #lan sizhui #a-qing #jin ling #tulu xuanwu #So the morse code thing was a bust. But I know for *certain* that girls *Love* turtles. Give her a turtle and you win at Girls. #I wish I had a better justification for this one besides “I think LSZ is the kind of kid who picks up rocks and frogs and holds on to them” #and “I wanted to draw A-qing with a turtle because I think she deserves a little pet” #btw most turtles are endangered so please do not pick them up if you see one. Let them vibe. #this fantasy turtle is very sturdy and immune to all diseases. #This whole comic today is about bonding and sharing #all that dialogue is just LJY and JL ranting about how they hate XY and they totally have a chance in a fight against him #and totally not because they are starting to like mxy/wwx now #I just picture all those juniors slowly sulking out of the building as they get told to (basically) go play outside so the adults can talk #Hopefully nothing bad happens while they're outside and in the open! #PS: there's nothing to be read into LSZ and A-Qing siting farther away from each other in the last panel. I just messed up my blocking.

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[chaosgremlim]

I’ll be completely honestly. I will judge you based on how you view Lottie Mathews. If you watch Yellowjackets and go calling her “psycho” “crazy” and judge her abhorent and manipulative for literally just having symptoms of her psychosis while UNMEDICATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WILDERNESS, I won’t trust you for shit.

#like #I get the girls thinking that #because they are in the wilderness with her going through the same stress in the freaking 90’s #and her delusions had serious impacts in their lifes and in their survival there #and the mysticism they formed around her and those delusions had a lasting impact #but you won’t see Lottie going around saying that her visions are the Word of God #heck #she spends almost the entirety of season two sitting by the window praying for the best #and what she does she does because in her mind those things are helping people #and it’s not her wicca tea sending people into murderous cannibalistic rampages #bestie needs actual therapy #and to go back to taking her meds #and KEEP HER AWAY FROM ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY #That shit is barbaric #I feel very strongly about lottie matthews #particularly because I struggle with similar shit and really get her #yellowjackets #yjposting #lottie yellowjackets #lottie matthews #lottie did nothing wrong #i support womens wrongs