#god so many mines in the road jason what the fuck

[scaryscarecrows]

Komodo Protocol

“You seen what they got going on in Demolitions?” Frank asks around his bacon. “Somethin’ real nasty, looks like.”

“No, I’ve been stuck on ‘light duty’ all week.” Antoine rolls his eyes. “You get one bug and everyone’s on your ass.”

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have tried breaking out of Medical all those times.”

“Shouldn’t have passed out mid-meeting, either.” Jimmy cackles. “Dude, if you died, we’d be fucked. Riley’s an enabler.”

“Clyde would take over,” the Knight says dryly. Jimmy squeaks. “Meeting at nine hundred.”

Meeting, not assembly. Something’s come up, then, because they had their weekly briefing two days ago. There hadn’t been anything of note at the time; next shipment of drones to Gotham, more than anything. Antoine’s pretty sure it was largely an excuse to hide from Deathstroke, who had left that afternoon anyway.

“Yessir.”

Once he’s gone, Jimmy leans in.

“So? What do you think’s going on?”

“I don’t know. Everything’s on schedule, and I haven’t seen anything weird come up.”

“Think something’s up in Gotham?”

“Maybe.” He finishes his coffee and tries–and fails miserably–at repressing a cough. “I’m fine, coughs linger, that’s not illegal!”

Mark frowns.

“That sounded ugly.”

“That’s what coughs do.” He’s not whining. He’s not. “Leave me alone, I’m better now.”

“I want you in my office after this meeting. Just for a quick check-up.”

“Oh, come on–”

“Forget, and I’ll come find you.”

Ugh. Fine. He’ll go. But he’s not going to like it.

* * *

“What is that?”

“Insurance.”

Okay. Insurance is always good. This, however, appears to be a bigass mine. Three feet in diameter, easy, and well-armored. Could probably withstand a Cobra drone rolling over it.

“Uh-huh,” Frank drawls. “For what.”

“It’s primarily to keep the military from getting involved.”

Antoine’s got news for him: the military, generally, considers Gotham as ‘fend for your fucking selves’ and probably would just pretend they didn’t see anything anyway. But sure. A little extra reassurance is nice.

“Also to keep anyone–or anything–else from stepping in.” Okay, that one’s fair. “It won’t hurt you if you walk on it; the sensors need more weight to activate the electricity.” Oh, it’s electric, too? Wonderful. “We’ll be deploying them pretty early in the night, once the drones have all been deployed.”

“They won’t fuck with the programming, will they?” Jimmy risks poking the thing. “It’s not like an EMP or whatever?”

“It shouldn’t, but I want you, when you map out the patrol route, to try not to run over them. I’ll give you a map of where I want them sometime next week.”

“How many are there?”

“Fourteen.”

Trent whistles.

“Jesus.”

“Gotham’s a big place.” The Knight shrugs. “We’re not shipping these over ahead of us; they go when we do. Clyde, I’m going to be making a special dummy; same sensors, I want to run some tests with the Cloudburst tank. If it comes to that, I’d really rather not blow this entire operation…literally.”

“Very funny, sir,” Frank says dryly. “I’ll make sure she’s ready to roll when you are.”

“Good. You five are dismissed. Drouot, you’re not.”

That doesn’t sound promising.

The others file out, though, leaving Antoine with the boss and a giant, scary-looking mine.

“These are also a contingency.”

And there it is. The boss has contingencies for his contingencies, which is, Antoine guesses, why they’re all still on this crazy crusade.

“Okay?” The Knight holds out a piece of paper with numbers on it. Antoine raises an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

“The activation code to set these all off at once. In the event that I somehow end up incapacitated, unless I explicitly told you otherwise, I want you to initiate the Komodo Protocol: order a retreat and blow Gotham off the map.”

“Sounds like overkill.”

“When dealing with Batman, there is no such thing as overkill.”

“If you say so, sir.” Such an innocuous little paper. Ten digits. Ten digits and boom, one of the largest cities in the world turned into a charred crater. “Does Scarecrow know about this?”

“No, and we’re not mentioning it. If that code needs to be used, he doesn’t need to be informed.”

Well, in all honesty, Scarecrow is the one most likely to trigger this event. Antoine has never trusted the guy. He’s convinced that, Batman be damned, if he saw a chance to poison them all, he’d take it.

“Hopefully it won’t come to that, sir.”

“Hopefully not.” The Knight looks at the mine. “But I’d rather be prepared.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea, boss?”

The boss just laughs.

“Probably not. Look, it’s like the bomb vests. I highly, highly doubt we’ll need it.”

Yeah…the bomb vests have not been mentioned to the troops at large. Voluntary or not, most people are not going to like the idea of a suicide vest being anywhere near them. If it comes down to that, then they’ll worry about it.

“If you say so, sir.” He looks from the paper to the mine again. “Did you need anything else?”

“No. You can go; I think Jones wanted to see you.”

Dammit.

* * *

“I’m sure that by now most of you have become aware of the events at Arkham Asylum.”

Antoine’s voice is hoarse, going in and out a little. He hasn’t slept, not really. Sure, Mark got a power nap out of him, but that’s about it and it wasn’t enough. He looks like shit, too, all washed out and with eye bags big enough to take on a cruise. That’ll happen, when you spend too much time in a chair.

“Batman do that, sir?”

“Yes and no. Before I continue, I want it clear: Batman is now considered a level five threat.”

“We can take him. Right, boys?” A cheer goes up. “Just tell us where he is, we’ll bring his head back in two hours.” 

Ha. Trent disagrees. Bastard’s got clown morals with Bat-bullshit, if he’s still alive–and he probably is–‘taking him’ is going to be a real bitch. It’s doable, probably, it’s just going to be difficult, especially with their best resource on both Batman and Joker being at death’s door.

Antoine’s smile is wintery and the cheer dies down, gives way to an uneasy silence. Trent can’t blame them for that. He’s usually the nice one. Nice is relative, but still.

“What you’ll be up against isn’t Batman anymore,” he says. “Now, I’m sure you all attended the briefing regarding the Joker’s death of TITAN poisoning.” Pfft. Trent knows damn well they didn’t, but that’ll keep them from jabbering. “Before that incident, the Joker supplied hospitals with tainted blood, and apparently gave Batman a transfusion as well. The cure didn’t take.” 

He turns to his laptop and taps a few keys. On screen, the footage Jimmy managed to get from the boss’s helmet earlier on Halloween looms large. Trent shudders. He’s seen some shit in his day, but that–a laughing, maniacal Batman attacking with full intent to kill–is in the running for his personal Top Five WTF. Thankfully, Antoine only lets it play for a few seconds, but those few seconds are enough to quiet the skeptical mutterings.

“That’s what you’re up against now. He will kill you, without a second thought. He has already killed Scarecrow–”

“Shit, we work for Richardson now?”

“No. The Arkham Knight dispatched her before the asylum blew up.”

At least that one stuck. Last thing they need is that vindictive little monster blaming them for what happened to Scarecrow.

“For the moment, we are going to continue as we were. I want drones sweeping the city, checkpoints manned, and watchtowers fully operational. If anybody sees anything, you call in immediately and you wait for backup. Don’t be a hero, your insurance does not cover facial removal.” There’s a smattering of nervous chuckles that Antoine does not join in. “Patrols: minimum of four, do not let each other out of your sight. Someone has to piss, you all go. Someone falls in one of those damn potholes and breaks an ankle, you all come back to base as a group. Understood?”

“Yessir.”

“Good. Any questions?” If they have any, they don’t ask them. Antoine closes his laptop, disconnects it, and turns on his heel. “Dismissed.”

Trent steps in fully as they file out. A few of them flinch, but most of them just keep moving.

“You look like shit,” he says bluntly. “Mark’s right, you need sleep.”

“I’m fine. Anything?”

“Couple of false alarms.”

“So no.”

“No.”

“Damn.” Antoine runs a hand through his hair. “Any change with the boss?”

“Still out. Look…what are we going to do, if he…doesn’t…wake up? Batman’s Gotham’s problem, right?”

Antoine just laughs, a little bitter, and starts towards the door.

“He only got maybe a quarter of the mines. We pull our men out and blow this city to Kingdom Come, see him walk that off.”

“What?”

“Komodo Protocol.” 

Trent’s heard of it. Well, seen it, in packets, but there’s never been any information about it. It’s just come up as, like, the last resort, no specifications.

“That’s what that is?” he demands. “Detonate the mines?”

“If it comes to that, yes.”

“Jesus Christ, man–”

“My orders are to put the bastard down, whatever it takes.” Antoine turns towards the back hallway. “Check in with the Arkham troops again, make sure they don’t need any further supplies. Did you send them a Cobra?”

“Yeah, earlier.”

“Good. Keep me posted.”

“Antoine.”

“What.”

“You’re sure about this?”

Antoine stops and turns around, swaying a little at the sudden change of direction.

“Yeah. If he dies, or doesn’t start waking up in another day or two, I’m calling it. We’ll finish the job one way or the other.” Jesus. “This stays between us for now. It may not come to that and there’s no reason to unsettle everyone.”

Trent nods.

“All right. You sure you’re not gonna grab a nap?”

“I’m fine.”

Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Look, Frank or Mark will probably bring the hammer down soon and when they do, Trent will be right there to enforce Bedtime.

“I’m gonna take a squadron out there,” he says. “Me and Riley: we’re taking some of his guys to investigate the little Batcave thing that turned up this morning.”

“Good. Stay in touch; that lecture goes for everyone.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll find the bastard.”

“Hope so.” Antoine turns back around and starts walking again. “Good luck.”

THE END

#jason todd #arkhamverse #scaryverse #god so many mines in the road jason what the fuck #that was unnecessary #you know it was

[spookygothmommy]

Tiffany valentine inspired ~~~~~~~~

Eddie X Halloween costume reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is base for Halloween night, where you dress up as Tiffany valentine and Eddie dresses up as Chucky! PT. 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

18+ !Moaning, grinding, talking dirty, cussing*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PICTURE IS NOT MINE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight was yours and Eddie's first Halloween together.. well as a couple! You and Eddie have been friends for 7 years but he finally got the courage to ask you out a few months ago.

You both got invited to Steve's Halloween party that he was having this year, of course Eddie want to go as a lion and you be his lion keeper but that was not about to happen. After many discussion you finally convinced Eddie to go as Chucky and you go as Tiffany.

Eddie know how much you loved bride of Chucky so he wasn't gonna even fight you on it, you finish getting ready and head towards the living room to show Eddie what you look like. "Babe! So how do I look? I was thinking the lipstick was a little to much but-" Eddie stops you from saying another word, "y/n if you keep on moving like that in that small dress I'm gonna take you to the bedroom and we won't go to any party tonight" he said smiling ear to ear at how hot you looked.

As Eddie drives you both to the party you decide to show him your awesome skill at how well you can copy tiff voice just to mess with him "oh Chucky" you say moaning making Eddie freeze for a good minute staring straight at the road ahead trying to figure out what the hell did he just hear. *Shit* he thought, "y/n I swear to God if you do that again I will rip your clothes off so fast" you smile at him "I don't know what you are talking about Chucky" you say winking at him.

*man, this chick drives me nuts in a very fucking good way* he thought.

As you both get to the party you are greeted by Jason, he's had a crush on you but won't get the hint that you are very much not interested in him. The guy is the biggest douchebag around, "hey y/n why don't you leave that freak and be with a real man?" Jason says. You push Jason down on the to the ground and bend down "Sorry.. I'm not into short guys" you say smiling while blowing smoke into Jason face. "That's my girl!" Eddie says putting his arm around your hips smiling at how hot you looked putting the jock down making jason look embarrassed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the end of this chapter! If you enjoyed this please like and repost! To let me know you want more!. *I know this isn't the best one around but I'm not the best writer lol*.

#reader x eddie munson #eddie munson #stranger things #chucky #bride of chucky #tiffany valentine #halloween #eddie munson fanfic

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

[princessphilly]

All Bets Are Off Chapter 12

Word Count: 

Tag list:  @ohpuckyeah, @joelsfarabee, @besthockeyfics. @dreamer1430 @defiant-mouse​ @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87​ @stuff4me2do @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol @t0xickisses2​

Join the tag list here!

CW: smut, filthy talk

This is a bit of a filler chapter, sorry. 

“Are you going to miss me?”

Nina didn’t even look up from her iPad. It was so annoying yet adorable at the same time, how Sidney was desperately trying to get her to tell him how much she was going to miss him. 

“Um, I think you’re going to miss me more than I’ll miss you,” Nina finally replied. She grinned as Sidney huffed. 

The first month of the new year had passed by pretty quickly to Nina. After being together for New Year’s Eve, Nina and Sid separated as the Pens had to finish off their road trip. Nina stayed in Miami for Jason’s game before taking an extra week just for herself. It was nice to have a bit of a vacation, especially when Lauren flew down. Nina basically enjoyed being on the beach, hanging out with a close friend, and shopping. 

The morning of New Year’s Day, after having their first breakfast together of the new year, Sid had given Nina a card. Nina was shocked to see a credit card with her name on it and she had tried to give it back but Sid had insisted. “You don’t treat yourself enough, pretty girl,” he had firmly stated. So Nina took advantage of it to treat herself a bit. 

By the time she came back to Pittsburgh, Sidney’s road trip was over but Nina’s semester had started. They had a couple of weeks where they spent time together as much as possible before the Pens had another short road trip. Now, Sidney was on his way to the Olympics in Beijing for their longest separation so far.

Sidney finally had his bag packed the way that he liked it. Glancing at Nina laying on their, um, his bed, he drawled, “Are you sure you aren’t going to miss me?”

Nina looked up and giggled. “You hog the sheets, Sidney. And you’re like a furnace when you sleep.”

Sidney walked over to the bed, crouching over Nina. “Hurting my feelings right before I have to take a long flight. Tsk tsk.”

“Your flight leaves tomorrow. You’re just making sure you are totally prepared tonight. Stop being so dramatic, Sidney Crosby.”

Sidney smirked as he brushed a hand down Nina’s front. She was clothed, wearing one of his t-shirts. “Still, Nina. 

“Still, Sidney.”

Nina stuck out her tongue at Sidney as he giggle-honked. Sidney brushed an errant strand of hair off of Nina’s forehead as he whispered, “I wish you were coming.”

“It was too short of a notice to take almost three weeks off, Sid,” Nina murmured. “Plus, hasn’t it always just been your family attending the Olympics?”

“Yes?”

Nina smiled. “Then, I would be breaking your tradition and your superstitions-”

Sidney opened his mouth to disagree but Nina put a finger over it. “Don’t even start, we both know how important ALL of your superstitions are. Even if you wouldn’t say it, if you lose without a gold medal and I'm there, part of you would be wondering. So quit the bullshit, Sidney.”

Sidney gave Nina a chagrined smile as she laughed at him. She was right, as always.

“Sid, it’ll be fine. You’re lucky I’m a morning person, you can call me crazy early here and I’ll pick up,” Nina reasoned. 

Sidney pouted a bit. “I finally got you to actually date me, I don’t want to be separated from you for that long.”

“How cute, Mr. Obsessed-with-Hockey has become soft in his old age.”

Nina squealed when Sidney tickled her, squirming. “Okay, okay, you’re allowed to become soft!”

Sidney gave Nina a soft smile and she gulped. Something shifted in that look and Nina felt like there was something new. 

Sidney bit his lip as Nina nervously laughed. In that moment, the pure joy on Nina’s face as she squealed while he tickled her, Sidney was sure that he loved her. He loved Nina. But this was the wrong time to admit that. So he chuckled and said, “If I’m soft, it’s only because of you.”

Nina stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Sidney chose not to respond to that statement, instead choosing to slide his lips over hers. Soft and sweet, exploratory as they kissed, not their usual hungry kisses. Then Nina wrapped a leg around Sidney’s waist and the mood changed. 

Nina ended the kiss first, whispering, “I can feel that someone is going to really miss me.”

“Going to miss you so much,” Sidney replied, grinding his hips into Nina’s core. “Let me show you.”

Nina gasped as Sidney sucked along her neck, just light enough not to leave any marks. “Gonna give you something to remember while I’m gone,” Sidney promised as his hands went under her shirt before pulling it off. 

Nina grinned before moaning as Sidney began to do exactly what he promised to do.

**

Sidney sighed as he sent the text. Everything was going great, even after a couple of hiccups in their first group stage games. This year, it was obvious to Sidney that this was going to be the last Olympics for him. Except for him, Tazer, Bergy, Tanger, Webs, Price, and Giroux, all of the other players on the team were under 30. Sidney saw his job as captain this year to not just get one more gold, but get the younger guys ready to take over. 

Right now, they were getting ready to play against Germany, their first game after the group stage, the real games. It was before pregame; the players whose families had come to Beijing were giving well-wishes. At this moment, Sidney wished Nina was here with him instead of home in Pittsburgh.

His phone pinged and Sidney relaxed when he saw the message: its midnight here. Good luck. Im g2g2 sleep. Bye

That message was quickly followed by another one: why the hell did they schedule yall for so fucking late? figured canada would be primetime here

Sidney laughed when he saw Nina’s message. Giroux looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Must be the elusive girlfriend.”

Giroux’s wife elbowed him, causing him to say ow. Sidney snickered; they may be teammates for Team Canada but their truce was still a fragile truce. Ryanne Giroux said, “I heard Nina’s very sweet and kind.”

“Oh?”

Sidney was suddenly very curious. Blithely, Ryanne replied, “You know as well as I do it’s a small league. People only have the kindest things to say about her.”

Relaxing a bit, Sidney grinned. “Nina’s pretty fucking amazing. I’m lucky she likes me.”

“Oh God, he’s talking about Nina again.”

Sidney’s grin turned into a smile as Tanger clasped him on the back. Tanger continued, “It took five years-”

“Five years,” Giroux asked as Sidney groaned. “Stop giving him chirp material.”

Ryanne snickered as Sidney’s phone pinged again; kris says ur bragging about me again?

“Really, Tanger, really?”

Kris laughed as Sidney narrowed his eyes. “Calm down, Sid.” 

Before Sidney could reply, Nina sent him another text: score a hat trick

Sidney gave his phone a soft smile. It was time to get focused for the game, so Sidney put his phone away as soon as he went back into the locker room.

**

Nina cracked an eye open. The time difference was a motherfucker; it was 5:45 am but 5:45pm. Yawning, Nina sat up in her bed as she accepted the call from Sid. 

“Nina, really?”

“Good morning to you,” Nina yawned. 

Sid slightly frowned. Nina was wearing a team USA t-shirt. Her shorts were blue. Even her sleep bonnet was blue. 

“I’m not Canadian, Sid.”

“Stilll-“

Nina smirked as she shook her head. “No, I’m not rooting for you. Score as many goals as you want, I’m Team USA.”

Sidney scowled as Nina laughed. “It’s not even like the US made the gold medal game!”

Nina was disappointed in Team USA. She was hoping they would make it to the gold medal game but they were going to go against Finland for Bronze. Tomorrow, at 8am Beijing Time, 8pm EST, Canada was going against Sweden for gold. 

“Still, you should be rooting for me.”

“I am,” Nina reasoned. “I want you to score all the goals. But, I just cannot root for Canada, yet.”

“Yet.”

Nina looked up to the ceiling before yawning again. Sidney was in a snit. She felt a tiny bit bad for Sweden because they were going to get it. But that wasn’t her problem. “Seriously, good luck, Sidney.”

“Thank you, Nina.”

Nina blew Sidney a kiss and he pretended to catch it. Then he licked his lips. “How many days did you take off when I get back?”

“Three, Sidney. Just three.”

Nina couldn’t help the rush of heat in her center when Sidney drawled, “I don’t plan to let you out of my house then.”

“Win the damn gold then,” Nina snapped. 

Sidney chuckled, saying, “You’re ready to go back to sleep then. Sweet dreams, Nina.”

“Bye, Sid.”

**

Nina looked down at her phone. There were three messages, long messages, all from Sid. She took in a deep, fortifying breath. Canada had one gold and Sidney had two goals. From the highlights, it seemed like Sidney was on a mission the whole game. Sighing, Nina pressed play on the first one. It was just a noisy celebration, nothing big until Sidney started talking. His talking was garbled at first and Nina laughed when she realized that he was drunk off his ass when he called her. 

The second voicemail started just as garbled, then Nina heard Sidney clearly say, “I’m so happy we won, I still wish you were here, you’re my new lucky charm, pretty girl. Fuck, I love you so much, pretty girl, you make everything better now that you’re mine.”

The next one was just sappy as the second, but Sidney was definitely somewhere quieter with this one. But he was also just as drunk, as he ended by saying, “I wanna fuck you when I get back, with you wearing my gold, pretty girl. This gold is almost as pretty as you.”

Nina ruefully laughed, already expecting apologetic texts from Sidney when he was sober. But for the rest of the day, the thought lingered in her mind, the idea that Sidney loved her. However, her patients kept Nina busy and she didn’t get a moment to really ruminate on that. Then, Nina went over to Karesha’s house to babysit her play nephew, AJ, as Karesha went out with her boyfriend. 

Within an hour of leaving, Karesha came back in, heated as she slammed the door. AJ commented, “He must have made Mom mad again.”

“AJ, please go upstairs and play with your Legos, Mommy needs to talk to Aunt Nina,” Karesha asked, trying hard to control her voice. 

AJ quickly ran up the stairs, loudly closing the door to his room. Karesha flopped on the couch, kicking off her expensive heels. “Fuck men.”

Nina got up and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. Pour shots, she passed one to Karesha before sitting back down next to her friend. Karesha gratefully smiled before downing the shot. 

“I’m tired of this shit. I told him it was over through text. How dare he say he’s coming up to Pittsburgh before spring training and then text me after I get to the restaurant to say he’s not coming after all. I’m done. I can’t.”

Nina murmured sympathetically, “Fuck him.”

“I’m so glad I never brought him around AJ though,” Karesha stated. “He had the nerve to say I spent too much time with my kid when I told him it was over.”

Nina’s eyes widened at that statement. “What are you supposed to do? Parent him less?”

Thoughts about Sidney were forgotten as Nina consoled her friend. Deciding to sleep over, Nina woke up early in the morning on the couch, several texts from Sidney waiting for her. Nina quickly scanned over them, starting with a text telling Nina his flight was about to come in to the last one asking if everything was okay. Nina sent him a message: friend had a crisis, be over around 10

It was early, around 7am so Nina didn’t expect to get a response. But Sidney replied: everything ok?

As ok as it’s gonna be, don’t worry, Nina sent back before straightening up Karesha’s living room. She then slipped out, locking the door from the inside. 

**

“Gonna get you full with my cum, pretty girl. Fuck, look at you, your pussy already trying to milk my cum.”

Nina groaned as she watched Sid fuck her, claiming her. Her legs were over his shoulders, allowing Sidney to fuck her deep. “You missed me, pretty girl?”

“Uh huh,” Nina managed to say. He was fucking her so good, each stroke hitting her g-spot. It was like Sidney returned as a man on a mission. 

“I missed you. Dreamed of you every night, Nina,” Sidney rasped. 

“Mmmm.”

Nina no longer had words, she could feel her high coming. Then she felt Sidney’s fingers, just two fingers on her clit and it was enough to send her over the edge. Nina screamed, her nails digging into Sidney’s back. That was enough to get Sidney to reach his high as well, his grunts wordless as he came. 

Nina sighed as Sidney withdrew, already sad at feeling empty. Sidney sat back on his haunches, watching as his cum started to leak out of Nina’s pussy. “I’ll never get enough of seeing that,” he remarked as he played with Nina’s clit. “Just for me, pretty girl.”

Moaning, Nina closed her eyes. She was sensitive but she felt herself respond to Sidney’s fingers. Then his fingers were replaced with his tongue, his fingers fucking his cum deeper inside of her pussy and the time for rational thought was gone. 

**

Six weeks later

Nina sighed as she rifled through her bag for the keys to her apartment. Today was her thirty-first birthday and for some reason, she felt weird. ‘Maybe it’s because I’m now on the other side of thirty,’ Nina thought to herself. 

The morning began with happy birthday texts from friends, birthday calls from Mom and Dad, and a facetime call with Jason. Sidney had sent her a funny meme birthday text but nothing else. Nina knew she shouldn’t feel too bad; the Pens were trying to solidify their playoff spot in the division and her birthday, April 5, fell right at the end of the season. As she opened the door, Nina hoped that Sid would at least do something once the playoffs were over. At the same time, it felt weird that she wasn’t going out with her parents either.

Just her luck that for the first time she was in a relationship around her birthday, her boyfriend had reasons not to take her out. Nina sniffled as she turned on the light.

“SURPRISE!!”

Nina gasped as Sidney, Kris, Geno, Anna, Catherine, Taylor, Alex, Victoria, Mario, Nathalie, Guentzy, Tristan, Hannah, Karesha, AJ, Lauren, her mom and dad, and Aryanna jumped out. Eyes wide, Nina burst into tears. 

“Oh no, what’s wrong pretty girl,” Sidney replied, folding Nina into his arms. 

Nina sniffled as she cried, “I thought everyone forgot my birthday!”

“I told you she wasn’t going to take it well,” Karesha muttered as Lauren kicked her. “Girl, be happy he did this all for you when he could be extra obsessive about the playoffs.”

Nina cut her eyes at Karesha before getting on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Sid’s cheek. “Thank you, Sid.”

**

The pictures of that night were put into a small scrapbook. Nina didn’t understand Sidney’s love for documenting memories in such a dramatic way but it was nice to look back at the memories in book form instead of having to scroll through her phone. Playoffs were now starting though so Nina was sure that would be the last carefree time until the playoffs were over, this time hopefully with another cup.

#nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #sidney crosby imagines #Sidney Crosby imagine #sidney crosby fic #nhl smut #hockey fic #hockey fanfiction #hockey smut #hockey story #hockey stories #sidney crosby #sidney crosby fics #hockey rpf #nhl rpf #all bets are off #penguins imagines #penguin imagine #penguins fic #nhl fics #hockey fics #nhl romance #nhl blurb #hockey romance #nhl story

[batarella]

3 birds 1 stone - chapter 12

‘Dick, Jason, and Tim. Supposed brothers 'till the end, until all three fall in love with you. Who wins your heart?

The man who earned it, the man who stole it, or the man who always had it?’

A/N: We continue the three perspectives!!! AND we got special appearances from a few characters today eeeeee we’re so close to the finale. Hope you guys enjoy this one!

WORDS: 12,068  WARNINGS: violence, arm dislocation, muscle injuries, alcoholism, mentions of coffee addiction and insomnia

MASTERLIST | 3 BIRDS 1 STONE MASTERLIST

-----

Dick:

That day, this all ends.

Telling himself he got into this mess because he hadn’t a choice, that he hadn’t already stopped because it was all just too riveting and captivating and not at all within his control, was nothing short of a lie.

He had every say in it.

But not even his fucking conscience could convince him to stop. He wanted this mess. Dove right into the lava. He knew every bit of the heartbreak he’d have to endure and he willingly brought it to himself. To get lost into the deep dark woods, with nothing more than an oil lamp, to be pricked by the many thorns and suffocated by the leaves and trees that crowd about much like a bush. To get lost in her, and never want to climb out of any of it. He knew how slippery the road ahead of him was and still he kept going, kept driving, sped up a little even when he thought he’d actually get to where the stars pointed him to.

But so profoundly was his loss of himself, without much effort at all to escape from those grasps even when he told himself he did; going to another woman, wanting the same arrest of his heart to hopefully take him away, but without halting those thoughts of Y/N and how her smile that he’d seen earlier that day would last until dark, maybe even beyond that. Those flares of her face and her voice and how he let them speak to her every night, change them into burning whispers against his ear when he’s memorized her voice too much to make her say anything he wanted her to, even when they only last in his head.

Dick never tried to stop her from taking her heart like that, even when he had to watch her be with another.

Tonight, it all ends. Every bit of this torture that he brought only to himself, it all comes to this sorry halt.

Dick, standing atop a roof of an office building in Dresher, knew that at that moment, he had to sit this one down. He had to be alone and in the darkness to make this as painful as it possibly could, hoping that if all that pain were to be felt now, compress them into this little tub of static blackness, then perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad the next day, and the day after that. Even when he knew this would backfire, he had to.

No one, especially not Y/N, would want him to end up with her. Tim deserved her. Hell, even Jason’s done a lot more for her sake than he had. He can't hope anymore. He can't let this go on.

All this would have gone better if he’d known this sooner.

So with him on that rooftop, sitting on the ledge fifty stories above as if not at all was he a push away from death, Dick let his finger scroll across his phone’s screen moist from his sweat. The battery was going to run out soon. He’d been there for hours, staring at that same picture of her from the day in the nursery, when the sun had been kind to her, touching the surface of her skin so perfectly, it showed more of the little details that he’d already memorized. Those exact images would be thrown out by the end of tonight. Pack their bags. Scram them out the door.

It had, as expected, proven to be difficult.

The thirty-seven pictures he took that day, he’d already heartly remembered by the end of it. Countless of times, he pulled them out of his pocket just to take a second to look, even at the worst. Another month had passed and nothing had happened much since, nothing out the ordinary, which meant their friendship was back to how it used to be. They were friends.

And that was why it ends tonight. Because if he doesn’t fight these thoughts, if he doesn’t fight her, he loses her. He loses this friendship.

Are you sure you want to delete this photo?

Confirm.

Confirm.

Confirm.

Thirty-six times, he let his finger do the talking. Not his heart. Not even his brain.

At the last one, the screen was too distorted by a fallen tear that had seeped out of his domino mask for him to go on. It was the only hindrance he needed to give up and stop. At least for a second.

But he couldn’t even dwell on it too much, or let himself cry, let it burn his skin off enough so it wouldn’t hurt any more afterwards. He couldn’t even let himself have that luxury when he heard the thudding noise of his brother’s boot-cladded feet, a Bo staff that hit the ground, and a black cape that enforced a gust of wind to blow against the back of his head.

Dick just closed his eyes, and just after that, Tim walked over to stand right behind him.

Greatest Detective in the World. But even an idiot would know what he was up to, sitting in the darkness crying while his feet dangle off a rooftop’s ledge, eyes to his phone like he was reading the saddest sob story in the whole world or that he’d just received a text that one of his loved ones’ lives had been taken away from cancer.

The way Tim was silent, he knew.

And Dick just let him believe it, without even a word to explain himself, he did. He let Tim’s mind do the figuring out and the explaining because not even his own words would be half that truth.

Tim’s voice that night wasn’t the kind he heard often.

“You think this is the right time for that, Dick?”

A crack on his knuckles, his throat sounding rough and beaten, Dick didn’t know what to even say.

“We called you fifteen times over at the bridge. We needed you-“

“Sorry-“

“And it turns out you’ve been at your phone the whole time-“

“You handled it without me.”

“That isn’t the fucking point.”

A month of silence, since that deathly night after they took Y/N home. Several minutes, together in one car, had proven to be one of the most insufferable moments of his life. And not surprisingly, it went on for even more days after that.

Dick turned off his phone, but Tim snatched it away from his hands and walked away so Dick couldn’t grab it.

He stood from the ledge. “Come on, Tim. Not cool.”

“Hmm. Cute,” Tim faked a smile and swiped around the screen, at the last picture of Y/N he had. “Could have sent it to me. And Jason.”

“Tim-“

“But it’s cool,” Tim said. He threw the phone back at Dick and he caught it just before it hit the ground. “All good. Finally, you have something of her all to yourself, right?”

Tim was Tim. Not this. Not someone so angry and grievous and someone who was looking at him that way with so much disgust when he used to be that young boy of fourteen who looked at his older brother like a god. How long, he thought, must he have kept all this frustration bundled up inside, where not even he could reach into. Someone who’s so calm, so in control of what he says, had finally given in and let his annoyance flourish about. He wondered, as anyone would, at what point Tim had finally had enough of all of this.

“Tim, please-“

“You,” Tim pointed his gloved finger right at Dick’s face.

“You were supposed to be my brother.”

.

Tim:

Of course, he’s had enough.

He’s had enough of all this a lot longer than anyone else, even he, would have thought.

It might have been since that day Y/N was crying over an argument they once had, over something he can't even remember, that almost pried them apart, only for Dick to come along and console her without telling Tim where he was, and he only knew because Y/N told him what happened. If she hadn’t, Tim wouldn’t have known.

He wouldn’t have known Dick had long been pining over the love of his life, never mind how she was in his arms and kissing his lips and calling for his name.

Dick, who could have literally anyone he could possibly wish for, just had to want her.

“What do you want me to say?” The asshole started after a moment’s silence, of nothing but a helicopter’s whirl from far above, the lack of light from everywhere around them, and their footsteps against the empty cement.

He couldn’t even look at his brother in the eye with his mask on, but he knew enough to know what he felt. It didn’t matter if he was sincere. It didn’t even matter that he cried.

“Nothing,” Tim said. “You’ve done your damage.”

“Damage?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Enlighten me.”

Tim scoffed and faked yet another laugh. It annoyed himself at that point.

“You are unbelievable-“

“I’m not trying to do anything with her anymo-“

“Don’t even start with that, asshole.”

Tim’s hands were shaking, and subconsciously he tried to repress those tremors, hoping they’d go away if he clenched them enough, but they only got worse.

“She was mine,” he cried. “And you just couldn’t handle that-“

“I never tried anything with her when you were together.” Dick tried to step closer to him but he just backed away.

“So you weren’t just waiting for us to break up so you’d swoop in and be the hero?” he scoffed. “I asked you to make sure she was okay, not take advantage of her hurting just so you’d have your chance.”

“And why did you break up, Tim?” He had the audacity to ask. “You didn’t love her anymore-“

“You knew I still did-“

“Then why hurt her?!”

“Because I was hurting her anyway!”

Never. He’s never been this angry. Not that he could recall.

“I was 17. Everything about me changed. Wayne Enterprises. Red Robin. Fucking Bruce dying and coming back to life. She was there but I was about to lose my fucking mind. I thought she didn’t have a place in all that mess anymore so I broke it off.”

Finally, he stepped close enough to Dick, almost to leveling with his height. His brother had his lips hidden, hands falling to his sides.

He looked terrified.

“Two seconds after that, I never regret anything more my whole fucking life. I thought talking to you would make her feel better, but you just couldn’t help but bat your pretty little eyes at her when she was vulnerable. I wanted to go back but I couldn’t ‘cuz you were already there!”

He was snarling, and a growl escaped his throat by the time he backed away. Tim didn’t even get to hear himself until he saw his own reflection in the white of Dick’s mask.

But Dick. He didn’t even take it as a hint to just shut up and take his rambling.

“I never meant to keep her away from you-“

“I went to you, Dick.” Tim wiped his lips with the back of his gloves, watched over to the next building to avoid his brother’s face. “I always went to you for help. With her. You know how long I’ve wanted her. And I went to you because I thought you were my brother and you’d help me.”

“I did help you!”

“You were helping yourself!”

His hands slammed against Dick’s chest, and it was a good thing he didn’t fight back. He would have just taken that as an excuse to keep hitting.

“Tim,” Dick held his hands up. Tim backed away. “Just go to her-“

“THIS ISNT ABOUT HER ANYMORE, ASSHOLE!”

Hands shoving his chest once again. This time, Dick had caught them, held them by his wrists enough so Tim couldn’t pull them away.

“THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND ME, GRAYSON!” Tim screamed. “WHAT HAPPENED TO HAVING EACH OTHER’S BACKS!”

“YOU THINK IT WAS MY CHOICE TO GET IN BETWEEN YOU!?”

It was from a whip of strength not even he had known prior, but it hurt when he finally could take his hands off of Dick’s grip, and with that, he backed further away, though his eyes couldn’t stray from looking straight into his brother’s.

“IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER IF IT WAS-“

“THEN I’M SORRY!’ Dick swallowed. “IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?!”

“No,” Tim’s knees hit the railing and so close did he fall, but he kept himself up, rubbed the bottom of his chin with his gloved hand. “You're not sorry…”

Dick’s silence. Even more so did he want to just lunge at him and strangle his vocal chords. No matter how far-fetched, Dick was supposed to tell him all the things he wanted him to say. So far, he’s said none of that.

Dick just watched when Tim turned around to rest his weight onto his palms, looking out into the open seeking for just about any kind of help there was that he could call out from the wind, but there was nothing.

“You're right,” Dick said, and Tim felt the cement crack from beneath his palms. “I’m not sorry.”

“Fucking bold of you-”

“What would have happened to her if I hadn’t stepped in?” He heard Dick’s voice louder and clearer, which meant he was walking closer towards him.

“I would have come back. I always wanted to come back, but by then she was all over you. I couldn’t-“

Tim looked at his own hands. “I had it coming. I can't blame her.”

Another whiff of air, and it blew the strands of his black locks right onto his eyelids. They stung, but he didn’t push them away. He just kept his eyes locked onto the blankness of the gray, the dark that went all the way into his spirit.

“But I do blame you-“

“Tim, you hurt her-”

“AND YOU HAVENT?!”

Dick caught his Bo staff, which Tim had thrown right at him as swiftly as he turned around. His mouth was as dry as his palms were sweating. His teeth were close to breaking. And his eyes dangerously drifting off into some unknown nowhere just so he wouldn’t have to look at such betrayal.

“Tim-“

Tim was shaking, or at least his hands were, when he gave into his impulses and moved so fast, grabbing Dick by the collar and standing him down.

“You stand there blaming me for all that hurt when here you are-“

“What the hell do you want me to say to you?!”

He was strong, stronger than any one of them would have thought. Dick couldn’t even move, much less out of shock than it was out of his hold on him too overwhelming to counter.

“Tim, this isn’t like you-“

“You have no idea what I’ll do,” Tim growled. “Why do you think I became Red Robin?”

To separate himself from the likes of what it used to be. To not be Robin anymore. To stray away from his ideals, ideals and morals no longer his.

Because he was, in his truest capacity, capable of much darker things than people seem to know. Even his own brother.

“I hate you-“

Dick, who took that second to take advantage of weakness, grabbed him by the wrists and pushed him off with the soles of his feet, not enough to send him to the ground but enough to almost topple him. And when he looked up, immediately, Tim’s fist headed for his brother’s head, but again it was caught by Dick’s palm.

“HEY, HEY, HEY, ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU!”

A much deeper, louder voice, the third one to be heard that night. It was that, and two strong arms that grabbed Tim by the shoulder and Dick by his suit’s back. Even when it wasn’t even to much effect, they stopped.

At least, for a second they did, before Tim started for Dick’s neck and he had to be held back with a strong hand right against his chest. “Let me go!”

“What the hell is going on with you two!?”

“Stay out of this Jason!”

It was easier for Jason to stand right in between, just to stop either of them from going after their skin. Dick had stopped. Tim, on the other hand, had to be held back by the shoulders. “Tim, calm down!”

“I said stay out of this!”

.

Jason:

“One of you pinheads tell me what’s going on!”

“Are you really gonna let Jason fight your battles, Dick?!”

Tim tried to push Jason out of the way. He was lucky, in fact, that none of them could see the irate look on his face hidden behind the safety of a red helmet. Otherwise they might have started for him too, just at how disgusted he looked at them both. And he had every right to be. He knew exactly why they were fighting. It was the devil in him who felt like asking.

Jason held him back with his cape. “Hey, KNOCK IT OFF-“

“Let go of me!”

“You don’t think I wanna bash this asshole’s brains out everyday, Tim?!” Jason hauled him to the floor. “Trust me. You can hold back.”

“Oh, fuck you, Todd.”

“You shut up.” Jason pointed at Dick. “If this is about Y/N I know exactly why Tim wants you dead.”

“And why am I the one you two’re ganging up on?!”

“If I was, Dick, I’d just let this one have at it with you. Thank me later.” Jason said, nodding over at Tim. Tim shrugged off his brother’s hold on him and frowned.

“You were never the one to trust, Dick,” Tim gulped. And Jason knew Dick would have thought the same. His flaring eyes, the burn that was almost never there from someone so usually calm. It was unnerving seeing Tim this way. “Look at everyone you’ve hurt. Y/N. Kori. When are you going to stop?”

“Don’t you fucking start with me, you little-“

“Hey! Knock it off!” Jason pushed Dick again with a shove of his hand. Dick stepped back.

“Jason, just get out of here -“

“I don’t know, man; Feels like I have to be the responsible one. For once.”

Tim grabbed Jason’s hand and hauled him to the side so he could step closer to where Dick was standing. “You don’t want to be a part of this.”

Jason, if not at all wanting that to be true in the slightest sense, didn’t fight back and took Tim’s shoving. But, as he’d thought, Dick was the one who looked at him so slyly he wanted to grab his lips and use them to haul him over the building.

Suddenly, every part of his skin wanted to burst, blood beating through every inch of vessel and flesh so much it burned him. His mouth sewed shut, ears hurting at the redness. Again, if not for the helmet, it would have been a dead giveaway.

But Dick wasn’t having it.

“Trust me, Tim. He already is.”

“What the hell do you mean-“

“I said, enough. You two settle this at home.”

Jason tried for Dick’s shoulder just to push him to back away, but he threw his hand off.

“Don’t fucking act like the good guy between the three of us,” Dick said. “What are you gonna say next? That this isn’t what Y/N would want?”

“You think it is?!”

Dick chortled and he turned away. Tim still wouldn’t let his glare away from his brother and if Jason would let him, he’d have mauled him to death.

“You always did think you knew what was best for her, didn’t you?”

“Jason, what the hell is he talking about?”

He never told him. The bastard never told Tim when he was so sure he would, when he basically told him that night outside Y/N’s doorstep that by the end of the hour, Tim would know what he’d done and he’d have found Jason by the next, even when he tries too hard to disappear, which he had tried to do for four months, hiding from his brother, and not long after he’ll never be welcomed into the manor as so much as a guest. It did surprise him, after many months, that Tim hadn’t so much as acknowledged it. Part of him wanted to believe Tim didn’t care, or had already forgiven Y/N and in turn forgiven him.

But, of course, Dick hadn’t told him. The asshole wanted this to drag out as painfully long as he possibly could. Make him carry that burden himself just because he thought it was right, as Tim’s brother, even when he wanted no part of those niceties.

“You wanna tell him?” The blue leotard wearing ass said. “Or should I?”

“Don’t fucking bring me into this shitshow-“

“Brother, you walked right into it yourself.”

“I will kill you,” Jason growled. “One of these days.”

“Tell me what?”

Tim’s voice, the softest it had been since the start of that night.

He shouldn’t.

His little brother, one whose relationship had proven far too difficult to build, if there was ever a chance at a good relationship at all. His brother. An established brotherhood he once despised so much, took too many years just for it to be something tolerable. His little brother.

He never had a little brother like Tim. Perhaps even now, he wouldn’t. Not once he knows.

“Tim, I-“

“Jason, tell me what’s going on.”

Dick no longer even had that smirk on him. He just looked sad for the both of them, as he should be. As anyone should be.

“Just tell him.”

So much did his fist want to just fly and land straight at Grayson’s perfectly chiseled cheekbones, break his face so much he wouldn’t live to stand a day.

But Jason had grown too silent, too guilty.

He couldn’t even take off his helmet and look at either of them in the eye.

Tim stepped right in front of him and on his face kind of worry that often lingered prior to it being the worst rage to ever engulf into.

Was there a way out of this? To counter the impact? Make it so it didn’t hurt so much?

If Grayson had just told him, it wouldn’t have to be this way.

“Jason-“

He looked up, and through the slits of his visor, he knew Tim wanted to look at him in the eye, to find something out of this truth.

“I…”

His throat, it hurt to even breath. And when this happened, he usually takes the helmet off. This time, however, he couldn’t do that. Not when he had so much to say despite him not wanting to.

“I slept with her…”

It was a shame Dick didn’t look too much like an ass right then. If he did, he’d have a reason for himself to just jump at him with a knife. But all he could even see, all he could bring himself to watch, was his feet.

Nothing else. Not when Tim was looking at him that way.

“What?”

“I slept with her-“

Tim.

Was it even Tim anymore? The boy in front of him? Who never looked at him with so much betrayal?

“When?”

“A few months ago…�� he said. “Lasted about a month.”

Then, it wouldn’t even have mattered if it were him who broke the news, the asshole that Dick was, or the Gotham Times.

Tim.

No longer his little brother. Never will be again.

Right for the neck. That’s where Tim pounced a second less than he was smart enough to move away.

 .

Dick:

That asshole deserved it.

But if anyone deserved it more than Jason did, it was Dick.

Was it to divert Tim’s attention from himself? Give him a breather and a while for Tim’s anger to mellow down taking it out on Jason so he doesn’t take it out on him so much? Possibly.

But the moment Tim’s hands squeezed the living daylights out of Jason’s neck, he knew he shouldn’t have brought it up. It was wrong. This was all wrong.

He started for Tim’s arms, grabbing them both just to at least give Jason enough time to breath, but this newfound strength certainly wasn’t one he’d expected. When he did manage to pull them off, Tim swung his fist right at Dick’s face.

Then, he went back for Jason, who then took that short time to grab both his fists and stop them for hurling him over the roof.

This was his fault. This was his doing.

And all the more did he want this to end when Jason held Tim strong enough to make him scream, and with that, he threw another punch right for his helmet, shattering the visor beneath his bruised knuckles. Jason tried to kick him away with his knee, but Tim was pushing him.

Jason, who should have been a lot stronger, was not doing much to fight Tim. And instead, he tried talking him out of it.

“Tim!” he coughed. Tim still holding both fists went on to push him. “Tim, stop!”

Head slam against his helmet, and it broke, enough for a part of it to be chipped off and expose his forehead.

Jason finally hurled Tim over to the ground just so he could wipe the blood stain off from seeping down his eyes, but that wasn’t much of a good idea. Not when Tim took that as a chance to jump for his brother, grabbing him by the shoulders, and with the forces of their own bodies flying across the wind, the railing wasn’t enough to stop their fall.

Tim and Jason fell over the building, down fifty stories with one’s hands wrapped around the others throat, and Tim went on to strangle him even as they fell.

Dick, without even thinking much, dove into that same abyss. Did he have a plan? No. Was this going to work anyway? Probably not. But he had to try.

At least, it was all he had to do. When Dick leapt, head soaring straight down for a car so miniscule that wouldn’t be so small the more he wastes time, his brothers thrashing bodies that broke the speed of their fall worked to his sorry advantage and Dick managed to catch up.

He grabbed Tim off, thankfully with the fall lessening his grip but not at all did it change the murderous look on his face. This wasn’t his brother. This can't be him. This was someone who had all his frustrations bottled up in the form of coffee addiction, insomnia, and workaholic tendencies, someone who hadn’t vented out his hurt and anger at him, who he apparently had been hating for a while.

When he had him in his grasps, Dick grappled up to the next building. “Jason, hold on!”

It was, in actuality, the worst idea he’s ever come up with. Other than the fact that Tim weighed a good 170 pounds, Jason was no lighter. Not even in the slightest. And carrying both of them? He might as well be hauling up a whole tank.

That one single grappling hook showed them no appreciation despite it holding on the best it could. And it was to no help that the hook landed on a building too far.

They were just yards up the ground when the rope tightened, and the impact on Dick’s arm he was sure had the bone dislocated. A scream was all he could muster at the shooting pains that went all the way up his neck, but still, he held on, and even when it lasted no more than a few seconds, it was all too agonizing not to feel like it lasted hours.

All it took was to at least break the fall, but that was all he could handle. Dick let go of the grapple gun and they were falling across the whole block, across the street over to an abandoned lot with junkyard cars and probably some broken glass scattered across the ground.

Tim landed on top of one of the cars, breaking the windshield under his weight. Jason wasn’t so lucky, rolling across the cold cement with it hitting his helmet, enough to expose his face.

And Dick, with it not helping his arm at all, landed right against the fenced border and fell to the ground. Some wire sticking out might have impaled his skin.

He was breathing. Was he still breathing? There was throbbing. Redness. Blood that went to his eyes, most probably. He could hear his heart and basically the rest of his senses going haywire.

When he looked up, already Tim could stand, right on top of the cars.

Now lacking his Bo staff, Tim smashed the broken metal beneath his feet and pulled out a slab hard enough to break bones.

 .

Tim:

If Dick were smart, he should have let him die.

This was always how he was, how this was all going to boil down to. His so many ways of dealing with loss, heartbreak, and stress, it was never going to hold him back enough if he hadn’t an outlet. And this, tonight, this was all part of the inevitable. He did what he promised Y/N. He kept off the coffee and had eight hours of sleep every day. But did it mean it warded off his thoughts on her? On his brothers? On their betrayal and how much he’d been holding that all off for months? Not even close. In fact, they grew worse.

Who does he start with?

Dick was all the way over at the fence. Wounded. Dislocated arm. He pulled himself up and went for a wall he could smash his shoulder against just to pull back the bone.

And Jason.

Shit.

Should have went for him first.

Two glocks in his hands. This man wasn’t afraid in the slightest.

“Jason, don’t!” Dick cried. Too late. He already shot one of the cars.

Tim spun about just to dodge at least the shattered glass. He was aiming for his legs, at all the parts of his body that wouldn’t be so lethal. How kind of him.

Which meant, that if it were the vital parts of him exposed, Jason wouldn’t shoot.

So he didn’t even try to hide himself, his chest especially, when he hurled himself over the many car hoods and roofs. Jason kept going, and this time he went to shooting the glass on purpose. Probably to hit him with the shards.

Tim reached the wall and pushed his feet so he’d roll on the ground. Cape up, he looked through the many places to hide, but he didn’t want to hide. What he wanted was to grab one of them, any of them, by the shoulders, pin them to the ground, and have his fist have at it with their stupid faces.

He ran up to Jason, cape protecting his legs and arms, and just as he did Dick had crept up behind him, grabbing Jason by a headlock. Elbow to Dick’s chest, he took that as a chance to grab his guns and throw them over to the side. So close did he miss one of the bullets, if grazing his shoulder was ever a miss. But he ignored that hiss and landed a hit on Jason’s stomach.

But not even that could last long, with Jason practically subdued. Dick set Jason aside to block Tim’s fist from landing anywhere near either of them. He kept hitting, swinging, it was all a blur after the third time he felt his shoulders hurt. And Grayson’s was no better. So he aimed for it.

What was he doing?

Foot landing on Dick’s pelvis. It was enough for his body to skid across the ground. He looked up at his brother, teeth gritting so much that it hurt, Tim didn’t move fast enough before he could move away from Dick’s fist, which landed a good one right to his teeth.

 .

Jason:

This was the most ridiculous fight he’s ever been on. No different from a fucking pellet gun war over at the gardens that one time they were drunk and stupid. This was a game, one he really didn’t want to play. He should have known, and what he thought that time was that somehow, she was worth going through all this chaos for. That moment of bliss, that month of beauty and serenity and peace, was it worth this? With his own brothers?

It wouldn’t have been if it was just a month of beauty and serenity and peace. But it wasn’t just about that anymore, was it?

So this had to be worth it. In every way. With Dick and Tim over a few yards away, Dick holding his shoulder and trying so hard to avoid being hit there and Tim so unruly and angry and being so taken over with his rage, not at all was he anything like this before tonight.

He had the choice. To grab the gun that had skidded over to his side, shoot them both in the shoulder to put everything to a stop, or join in on their rumble to drag this out as long as inhumanely possible. Three different men who knew exactly what the others’ moves will be, this wasn’t going to last very long if it were to be a good way.

But, if this were to be dealt with bullets, he can say goodbye to either of them of ever being his brother again, to never be a part of this family so hard to love but love nevertheless.

He stopped his hand from reaching for the gun, and with that, he started for the two.

Jason grabbed Tim’s ankle just before it would have landed on Dick’s chin, threw him to the side so he’d land on the floor.

Dick’s fist, which would have hit Tim, instead hit Jason right at the nape of his neck. He almost toppled over to the ground, and with that flash of rage, he struck back at Dick right at his bad shoulder. Might have been too far. But he didn’t care.

Tim hit his back, right up against his sharp knee. He cried out at the unnerving bellows that went straight to his head, picked himself up just before he hit the ground.

Another hit for his head, but Dick had stopped it with his own hand, twisted Tim’s ankle so he’d once again lose his balance and fall.

Three different men.

Three different fights.

Three men who knew each other far too well to be beaten so easily.

They jostled and rolled about, around the junkyard over so many of the cars and the broken glass and even the fence that had long blown over. This wasn’t at all supposed to be what they’d spend the night on, but with the slabs of metal being thrown, the cars almost hurled up with their peak human strength, their limbs flailing, some barely missing a nerve on their head and some wrecking a whole tooth out of their mouth, it was not, to even some capacity, ever going to end as well as any of them hoped.

And with them at the middle of the barren empty grounds, Jason dodging Dick’s fist only to meet Tim’s knee, Dick being absolutely smothered by Tim’s head smashing against his, and Tim being pinned to the ground by either of his brothers larger than him that he hated so much.

It all would have ended in death, after the kind of blur that clouded so much of their moral thought and any kind of sense at all to remind them of what they were doing, if not for something far too strong for them to easily swerve from.

Or, better yet, three things too strong for them to swerve from.

At a whiff so quick for any of them to have possibly even sensed, a flash of purple was the first to wave off that blur from their eyes. And it went for Tim.

Stephanie was first to subdue him, holding Tim down with her knee landing right at the small of his back. He cried out both at the shock he hadn’t expected and the pulsing pain that probably went all the way up his spine, but he was done. Steph had grabbed Tim’s head and pinned him down right against the floor.

The next one was Dick, and before any of them could even turn, something so brightly blinding, a figure of yellow, fell from one of the cars’ hood and grabbed Dick by the neck. Duke was smaller, but not at all was that some disadvantage. His huge armored arms, locking Dick enough for him to just flail his hands about, it was enough to make him stop.

And, just as he expected, the next thing he saw after that flash of a second he was spared, was a blur of black so silently creeping up on him, Jason couldn’t move even when he knew it was coming. No one could have seen it. Not even him. By the next second, he was bent over one of the cars, hands to his back, and Cassandra had a taser stuck to his hip.

“NO, NO, NO, CASS DON’T-“

Barely enough to fry him unconscious, but enough to fucking electrocute his skin off so his muscles could barely move.

 .

Dick:

This should all have ended sooner than it even happened.

And the shame crept in, not even when he stopped struggling against Duke’s hold on him, but when Barbara, the last to come into the scene, flew in from the window right across.

She looked like she wanted to murder all three of them by a rope around their necks. One single rope. Having three just wouldn’t be worth it.

She took off her cowl and let her red hair fall to her back, so they’d easily see just how disgusted she looked at them all, at the look on her eyes, at the look on all their eyes.

“Duke, let me go-“

“I’m sorry, Dick.”

“Please.”

“If we could, Nightwing,” Babs swallowed. “I’ll have you tied to that streetlamp for the rest of the night.”

Jason tried to reach for something in the car just to kick Cass away, but she tased him again. Some smoke flew up from his flesh.

“Cass, that’s enough,” Babs said.

Cass glared at them all, then settled to just holding Jason down with his arms.

“Is anyone going to tell me what the hell is going on with you three?”

“Maybe if you get your foot out of my head, Steph, I’d actually get my brain back and answer her question,” Tim said.

“You lost your brain when you fell down that building.”

“You saw that?”

Steph snorted. “You’re lucky I didn’t jump in until I had all of us on call.”

“Lucky?!”

Steph twisted Tim’s arm and his cries could be heard over to the next block.

Jason tried, again, to break free from Cass’s hold, but her fist wasn’t one to welcome when it landed much like a bat would’ve right up against Jason’s head.

And Tim, who almost pried Steph’s knee from against his back, was just pinned down again not even a second after breaking free.

They were too tired to go up against any of them.

So Dick, knowing there was no other, prettier way out of this, let go of his hands from gripping too hard on Duke’s arm. He didn’t let go, but it had loosened, enough for him to properly talk. Babs went over to him. That dagger-infested glower stuck through, but at least there was some appreciation for his lack of resistance.

“It was a misunderstanding-“

“Was it?!”

Babs clenched her jaw.

“This is about her, isn’t it-“

Tim’s voice echoed. “No!”

.

Tim:

He growled and shoved Steph’s hand away, but they kept on his arms, pushing them down against his spine. She was strong enough to subdue him, stronger now that he was exhausted and his muscles were all strained, but that didn’t mean he was, in any way, going to back down from this fight. This wasn’t over.

He could crane his head up enough to look at Babs.

“This is about these two traitors who lied to my face for months!”

Steph was having too much trouble keeping him down. “Tim!”

“Are you really going to take their side?!”

“No one is taking anyone’s side here.”

Babs eyed Cass at least to make her loosen her grip on Jason’s twisted arms. Cass rolled her eyes, sighed, and still without a word, she grabbed Jason by the back of his collar to make him stand. But it wasn’t without her taser stuck up to his side.

“Cass, I’m not gonna fucking fight you-“

“Just shut up, Jay,” Dick said, and with that, Duke tightened his arm.

“They wanna know,” Tim panted. “Tell them all why we’re in this mess.”

His voice, all broken and rageful and so unlike what anyone would have thought. It turned the heads of everyone around. Steph loosened her hand around Tim’s neck much out of her own disbelief.

“Stabbing me in the back the way you did…”

“Tim, you don’t have to-“ Babs went on, but Tim’s screams were too much.

“Tell them! Say why you’re all a bunch of ass-“

“You’re the one who wanted this to be some shitshow!” Jason’s teeth shouldn’t last long with how much he was gritting them when he hissed and snarled at Cass, who poked the taser just beneath his hip.

“Cass, enough with the taser.”

“Yeah, Cass,” Jason said. “Where the hell did you even get that?”

“Some douchey police officer over at Chinatown,” Duke said to him while still keeping his hands on Dick.

Something so foreign, so unruly and aggressive, it was taking too much control over him. Tim’s eyes were burning, and there weren’t even any tears. His blood pulsed through every vein, strong enough for it to hurt, and loud enough for him to hear it through his bloodied ears.

Tim pushed Steph away and for a moment, he was free. He wasn’t even thinking anymore. He just wanted his hands squeezing the voice out of Jason’s neck.

Babs grabbed him by the cape just as Steph caught up, and again he was on the floor. Still, he screamed, thrashed about because everything within him just yelled for him to finally let it out. He was done being the nice guy, done being the brother they both pushed around, took advantage of, lied to, and picked on because they knew he’d never fight back.

“Tim…” Babs helped Steph holding him down. She looked up at Dick. “What the hell did you do to him?”

“Nothing we can't sort out!”

“Jesus, Dick,” Jason snorted. “You haven’t said one smart thing all day.”

“Like you're any better, you asswipe.”

“Enough!”

Babs stood right between them, otherwise they’d have lunged for each other even if they had a missile launcher aimed for their heads.

“Let me go. Duke,” Dick said. “I’m not gonna fight any of you-“

“Yeah, three seconds ago you were close to running Jason’s head through a windshield.”

“Just let me go and we’ll all calmly-“

“Calmly?” Duke laughed. “I saw you fall down that building from where I stood. None of you know what calm is.”

Duke’s voice was stern and not at all did he sound like he’d trust him enough for that, no different than Steph’s or even just the look in Cass’s eyes. Because, if anything, other than the utter disgust, disdain, and disappointment, everything before them was something not to easily believe.

Not long after, before anything even happened, before Tim heard that first trace of a large black cape and the heavy soles that would have broken the cement floor underneath if he hadn’t purposely landed so swiftly, with the shadow that wasn’t in fact a shadow, but a suit so terrifying, dark, and so close to invisible, it was the night in a physicality no two people could similarly describe.

Tim knew he’d get here first, before anyone else even turned their heads. Because he stopped with his cries and faced his untimely doom. Face to the ground, quiet and unmoving. Everyone else followed but that was after he’d already appeared.

Not even anyone from the likes of the worst villains had seen the look on Bruce’s face as close to the one he had right then.

 .

Jason:

If he were alone, he’d just have snorted. The look on Grayson and Drake’s face. Couldn’t be drawn.

He’s seen that same frown on Bruce every time he shoots a damn gun, which was every night. He could paint it by memory and he wouldn’t miss a detail. The squinted white of his eyeholes, his lips forlorn and flat. His hands, clenched enough for it to hurt, hidden beneath his cape. Oh, Dad. Did I do that?

These guys just needed some getting used to.

And he shouldn’t be amused at the fact that at least, for once, he wasn’t the only one in trouble this time. Tim looked ashamed. Dick looked like he’d seen a ghost. Dick should have known this, at least. He’s steered up a few times of trouble himself. Nothing like what he’s done, that’s for sure. But he shouldn’t be so stricken. Still, he was, which made it all the more inappropriate if he were to smirk right then.

Damian was right beside him. He wasn’t entertained, or intrigued, what he usually was watching his father tell off his brothers. In fact, he looked bothered. Like they’d just taken so much of his time away from what he’d rather be doing, which apparently was more interesting than this.

Ah. Of course. An out-of-town mission. Just Batman and Robin. They left Babs in charge. Probably why she looked just as horrified as Dick, hands to her side and keeping the slight shake of her palms hidden. It seems she prepared for anything to happen on patrol that night, anything Bruce prepared her for being the boss. What they hadn’t prepared for, apparently, was them.

“Batman, I-“ Babs swallowed. “We have this under control. You can go back to-“

“Let them go.”

Chills down everyone’s wobbly spines at his growling voice proved more terrifying under the filter near his neck. Everyone except Jason, of course. But he can't be so relaxed. Cass was getting suspicious. He just felt her hands tighten even more around his wrists.

But perhaps, he should be afraid. He’s gotten into mounds of trouble, but it was never anything like this.

He snorted again. They hadn’t hurt anybody. It was just them three and their lack of brain. They’ll be fine.

He hoped.

“Bruce, they’re trying to kill each other-“

“They can try.”

Babs, right then, might be the one to kill them right after. Maybe with her bare hands. Maybe with a truck. With a deathly, silent scowl at all of them, she nodded.

Duke was first to let go of Dick, and with that a pat on the back. Dick rubbed the back of his neck, stayed put and didn’t even step away. He was relaxed. Ashamed, but relaxed. He just stretched out his limbs and already everyone was satisfied.

Next, it was Jason. With a reluctant Cass finally letting him go, and the taser, Jason tumbled over to the nearest car hood just to keep himself up. That fucking taser robbed him of his knees. How many volts was that thing?

Finally, Steph swung her legs over from holding down Tim’s body and helped him up. She dusted off his back, apologized under her breath. He probably had a lot to say if it weren’t for the seven other pairs of eyes on him, watching him from letting out so much as a twitch.

Tim didn’t shove her away so he could go back to poking Jason’s eyeballs out. He just stood there and stared at him like Jason and Dick were lucky everyone else was around. Which, he probably was. He wasn’t going to deny that.

The last people to be so afraid of Bruce were the three of them, the perpetrators, the reason for this little reunion. So instead of letting out something so cocky and unapologetic, something so at the borders of causing Bruce to have an aneurysm, not one mouth resisted from being kept shut. It was the kind of silence that wasn’t often expected from such an unusual family.

And Bruce looked at the three of them not with anger, or dismay, or even annoyance.

He looked disappointed.

Which, arguably, makes it a whole lot worse. Hell, even for him. He’s been yelled at since the day he came back and all of a sudden a little fight with his brothers is what brings him to shame.

Bruce was unmoving, so his voice startled and shook.

“All this…” he said. “For her…”

No one spoke. Not even a cricket. Even with the horns and sirens from afar, the bustle they couldn’t care less the only noise there was, it was deafening.

“Don’t you think you’ve disappointed her enough?”

Jason ignored the shattered edges of his helmet that poked on his cheek, ignored the blood it drew or the strain on his arms. Everyone did, perhaps.

“Go back to patrol.”

Batman left, as quickly as he’d come. Robin followed right behind him.

Batgirl turned around, nodded at her team, which was all there was out of her, out of anybody. They could see her fists clench, her eyes down and avoiding the others. The Signal flew out of the scene, Spoiler grappled up to the next rooftop, and Orphan disappeared out of thin air, without a word or even a grunt.

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Red Hood left that junkyard lot, and as the brothers they were, and dreadfully still are, they kept out of each other’s ways for the rest of that quiet night.

-----

What was so different about that night, and the many more nights that followed, was how they no longer had each other to turn to, even more now that it seemed they needed their brothers the most. Jason was, in the worst sense, used to the kind of isolation he was forced into after the matter. Dick had to learn to be alone, but it always had been better to have another’s shoulder to lean on and talk to. Tim, not so much. Not when he almost always turned to Y/N. And if not her, Dick. His older brother. One he once looked up to like a being unreachable, now a traitor he’d scoff at if he dared to show up.

So what they did, and what they were forced to do for several nights, was to deal with the cosmos and the whirlwind of thoughts all by their sorry selves. Dick usually could be found in training, spinning about in the uneven bars set up for him at the manor, have the sweat and the strain in his muscles force out whatever it was that bothered him into some physical outlet, how it often had been for many years as he appreciated himself for the care it brought. For the others, however, it wasn’t so much the same. Tim would spend all hours in the office and wouldn’t so much as nap even when his whole body tortured him to at least stop his back from being crouched so much. And Jason, well, had already drowned himself in booze, even more now that the reasons had faded clearer.

Alone in his apartment, over at the nook by the window where he usually spent the day with a book, now his mess of a hair would be plastered against the cold glass and the many bottles that surround him would block the surfaces of the cushion. It never actually got out of hand. He only ever drank to get rid of that noise blaring into his ear the way it was now, the way it was for all three of them.

And Tim couldn’t turn to that same comfort, or whatever it was that caffeine, stinging eyelids, and an unhealthy staring into a computer screen with an all nighter at the office would bring him. That night after the fight, he couldn’t sleep, even when he tried to. Which led to no one’s knowing, a cup of coffee when the day had risen and he was forced to go on with that said day like nothing happened. That cup would turn to two. Three. Eventually it dawned on him that he’d slept what he should have in a single day in a span of three.

Dick’s training, as it turned out, wasn’t so healthy at all. The strain in his wrists began a little over two hours ago. He’d been at the grounds for quadruple that time. For that day alone. Would it kill him if he didn’t stop? Probably not. Would it almost kill him? Probably. But he went on. Kept his hands busy. Forced himself to feel that exhaustion that should be taking his mind out of everything and not amplify it.

But this was only the beginning of what eventually would be that highway to descent, to some slope with no ladder to climb back up to, no guide for them to reverse and no light at the end that would eventually bring some alternative to the truth. They only had the truth to hold on.

Their brotherhood. One so strained. So complicated. One that took far too much time to build and rebuild. They couldn’t, not even if they wanted to, be apart from this family, deny that they were a part of it. They couldn’t escape each other’s presence no matter how many times they’d change their numbers or block out their trackers or find another city to live in. They couldn’t lose something that had grown too strong for them to fight against. That night, they tried. Or rather, the forces tried. The forces run by their bitter rivalry or the want for the same woman.

It was the fifth night after that fight, when Dick let go of the bars, finally giving his hands that rest too many hours overdue. He wiped his sweat, drank from his bottle, and pulled out his phone. That night, he thought it was enough, that this silence and bitterness and sheer negligence over their bond would eventually break for permanence. He knew that this coping was only just the beginning, and that it will, for everything he was certain about, would it become so much more, something so dark, that it would pull the whole family apart. He didn’t want that. For any of them. So that night, he sent a text to Tim and Jason.

Tim’s first account wasn’t on his brothers, though it had crossed his mind many more times than he would have hoped. His first thought, if anything, was how Y/N would have thought if he let himself fall. It’d be in his rule this time, that he wouldn’t let the caffeine get to him or reach to such extremes he’d never otherwise control. But Y/N wasn’t going to believe that, as nobody should. Hell, he probably shouldn’t place that much faith onto himself at all. Even if he does so much as lose an hour of sleep, one for every night until there wasn’t any hours left, if he allows himself one more cup when he had one just half an hour before, he knew it’d be just the beginning.

So, when he got that text from Dick, he realized it wasn’t worth much the risk.

He hated them both like he’s hated no one else, wanted them to realize just how much of a wreck their doings have imprinted on him and Y/N, how the consequences that followed weren’t nearly what they deserved at all. But if he doesn’t fight that hate, if he doesn’t find peace, it’ll be that darkness for him, that same life he hadn’t learned to control, one where he once lost himself to. and in turn, made him lose Y/N. And he’ll lose her again if he won't listen to that conscience. He texted Dick back and told him to meet him at Pauli’s.

Jason, on the other hand, acted as was expected of him. When he saw that text the first thing his lack of conscience told him was to get another phone and forget it all happened, disappear for another few months, show up when it was convenient, and hope that this all blows over before his escapism backfires.

But he never did get to bring himself to throw out his phone and get a new one, much less delete the text before he’s even seen it. A few days after, he let that daft little voice in him to open the text, allow himself a few seconds just to witness its premise. But he’d read through everything in that split second he allowed himself to. Dick didn’t really have much to say. And what else was to come next other than the few days of tussling and fighting and the many more bottles of booze that were not at all helping with those same voices that just wouldn’t shut up.

Was this all worth it? Was anything worth this at all?

Because those few years it took just to have any sort of a conversation with Dick, much more with Tim, certainly wasn’t a few years of a bond rebuilt that he wanted to go through again.

He loved them. In his own, twisted little way. He loved his brothers and actually would go out his way to save them from whatever horrors he’d been forced to face. That love didn’t have to be from occasionally hanging out in the holidays or spent an hour or two in a bar.

At least, in his conscience, if he were to die one day like he’d realize would happen again, knowing life wasn’t exactly his alone to spend and control, he’d know he did whatever was best for the people he loved.

So, despite Dick and Tim not at all expecting so much as a text back, they still had it in them to wait a few hours. In that dimly lit corner of Pauli’s, the aroma of freshly backed pancakes distracting them from their otherwise bland pickup from the rest of their senses. They waited, not hoping for the best.

Jason went into the diner and saw them, ordered a cup, then took a seat across Tim, with Dick in between.

That silence, the same for everyday for the past five, it was haunting and eerie, disturbing, uncomforting, one they knew they’d all have to settle if they wanted to move on and actually bring some light into whatever it was they’ve caused.

Jason didn’t take off his hoodie. Tim warmed his hands with his cup of hot chocolate. And Dick, knowing he’d have to start, cleared his throat and looked up.

.

Dick:

Seeing Tim walk through that door was a surprise enough, much more Jason coming along and not even was he three hours late. Fuck. Fuck. What does he even say? Where does he ever start? Should he even start?

Giving in to his impulses certainly was bad an idea. This was, in every way, what he should have expected when he picked up his phone and thought to call his brothers hoping it was the right thing to do. And, perhaps, it was the right thing.

But was he the right person to start it? Lead this conversation to the direction he wanted so they’d get to a better place? The one that pushed his impulses in the first place?

They were all too awfully silent. Tim’s had his second round of hot chocolate. He doesn’t even like hot chocolate that much. And Jason looks like he’s hiding himself from the cops with his hood down and neck craned to the table’s surface. He’s never been in anything more awkward and uncomfortable in his years. This was just humiliating.

But, he was sure, humiliation should be the first thing they’d have to go through. Setting their prides aside, talk with the other’s stories in mind and hope that by the end of this, it’ll at least be a bit better.

So he started, in the most bland, uneventful way, he tells them both.

“Thanks for coming,” Dick said.

Tim momentarily bit onto his lip, and Jason stayed motionless without so much as a nod. At least Tim glanced over at him, even when it was just a second.

“How are you, Tim?”

Tim’s finger traced over the brim of his cup. He’s finished it. Didn’t seem like he wanted to order another one.

“Alright. I guess.”

“Good. Jason?”

God, this was awful. He doesn’t even ask how their broken bones are healing after a life-threatening encounter in patrol. Hopefully this greyness wasn’t too weird, not when it should be the start of something even more difficult to overcome.

Jason’s order of coffee came into the table and it made Tim shift in his seat, leaning to the back to stay further away from its aroma. Jason took a sip. “Fine.”

As quiet as they possibly could. Dick wished he had something to order, even when it was just a piece of pie they’d displayed over at the counter. But he didn’t want to get up or even call a waitress.

He was, in the most obvious sense, ashamed. Ashamed that he wasn’t either of them, which he wished nothing more to be. He wished he was them so he wouldn’t have to be the man who’d hurt Y/N the most, when he was supposed to be who she’d turn for comfort, because they weren’t the man who’d been in love with her for so long, never thinking he’d have a chance. And when he did finally have her, even for a just a moment, when he finally got to kiss her that one time he’d been waiting for so many years, it all broke down and nearly diminished what he took years to build. Their friendship. Something so great yet so fragile, when their love never could be so easily set aside to make way for a friendly bond.

“I’m sorry,” Tim said, and his voice had gone softer. “I’m sorry I started a fight. And for being so angry. That was uncalled for.”

He did want all this to be right with them. Both of them. Two of his brothers he’s learned to love. And with that love comes many sacrifices.

“You don’t have to be sorry for being angry.”

“Would you like more hot cocoa?” The waitress came in with a pitcher. Tim declined, and she left.

He stared at the empty cup and rolled his lips.

“Yeah, I… I kinda do.”

Further into the day, the less people there were in the diner. And with that came more silence. There were half the people in there than when they’d first arrived. Soon enough, they’ll be the only ones left.

“I’m sorry, too.”

Then, without even a word, Dick and Tim turned over to Jason.

They didn’t expect him to apologize, or even say anything for that matter, possibly for the rest of the night.

But Jason shrugged, looked up at both of them in the eye, and he nodded. It was enough for them both to know what he meant.

.

Jason:

Get this over with. As quick as they possibly could. But he should know by now that this was going to take time. With how difficult it was. This wasn’t going to end any better than when they’d started if they rush through.

Jason took a sip out of his coffee and leaned his arms over on the table. Still, he didn’t take off his hoodie, as if he was going to take off not long from then.

“I don’t exactly know where to start,” Dick said. “But I think we should put this out there now.”

Neither of them looked him in the eye. He and Tim both stared at their cups as if it were any interesting.

“I’m sorry if I’m doing this wrong. I’m just saying what I think is best.”

“It’s okay,” Tim said. “Just go on.”

This was harder than when they had to help out the League face Brainiac. And that certainly was something.

“I love Y/N.”

Okay. Wasn’t what he thought Dick would say. But okay.

“Tim loves her, too.”

Shit. Alright. So that’s what this motherfucker thinks he’s doing.

“And I for sure as hell know, that you love her as well, Jason-“

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jason’s voice was deep, controlled, and as monotonous as he forced it to be. Without a flick of a lie or a speck of truth, as they both would have easily picked up if they listened to him hard enough. That is, if it worked. Which it probably hadn’t.

“We don’t know who she wants…” Dick said. “And frankly, I don’t think she does, too. At least for now.”

“It could be any of us.” Tim didn’t take his sight away from the blankness of the white table’s surface.

He can't take this. No. He never should have opened that text. This was a bad idea.

Y/N will choose one of them. Not him. Not when he was the one who fell in love with her far too late, realized just how perfectly imperfect and how she managed to be this little bundle of happiness for him that he never could find in another. Someone whose presence he yearned for on the days when he thought nothing could be okay. He realized all that when too late, when his brothers already cemented their places and have already gone out of their way to win her love. And, on top of all that, he was the one he didn’t have a close friendship as a ground for something to lean onto. They weren’t close. Not like she was with Tim. Not even with Dick.

“This is ridiculous,” Jason stood up from his seat with his cup half finished. “I’m leaving.”

“Jason-“

“Dick, I want no part of this-“

“You can deny it all you want, but what if she chooses you?”

“She won't choose me. That’s the point-“

“Everyone knows that’s just as much of a possibility than everything else. It didn’t even take much time, and already you’ve wooed her. You think we didn’t notice that?”

Jason stopped and faced the counter, away from his brothers.

“Just sit down.”

“Dick-“

“I know this hurts but what if she actually does choose you-“

“I don’t love her.”

“You do. And she might love you back.”

No. Don’t bring his hopes up like this. This fucking-

“And if she does, are you really going to turn her down?”

Jason closed his eyes. He had nothing to say.

“No matter what Tim and I do, if it’s you she wants, then it’s you who’ll make her happy. Do you honestly think I believe you won't at least take that chance?”

Nothing. No voices whispering into his conscience to fuck everything and leave. Nothing that told him what to do, much less what to say.

He just knew that whatever he was, it wasn’t nearly as strong as that one pull that forced him back on his seat.

This shitshow already hurts as it is. What’s a little more?

.

Tim:

There’s a chance for all of them.

That’s what has always been so hard for him to understand. Never would he have thought it to be true, but it was.

They were both good men, good people, and if he were honest, he’d admit to Y/N being lucky if she were ever to choose one of his brothers in the end. He never, ever wanted to admit that. Not even now.

But for so long, he’s ignored the fact that those choices might be for her happiness, for what she deserves, and that might not always be about Tim. That whatever it was he wouldn’t admit to himself didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Y/N smiles like no other with Dick and no one else understood her like Jason. Even if Tim were her best friend, even if they had together from the very beginning, even if he probably loved her the most. It won't be about that.

So he has to accept all this.

And if it meant her happiness, then that hurt will be a lot easier to deal with.

“He’s right,” he said, and his two older brothers looked up at him.

“I’ve always thought you two… Well, I wish I was in your place. Not always. But, right now I do.”

They were confused to say the least. They didn’t look like they understood. Tim was the one who got to be with her, had years of calling her his love, had her love in return and have her actually show it the same way he did.

But that was just that. He had her. And now he didn’t. Because of him. Because he had her and was stupid enough to let her go, something neither of his brothers would have done if they were him.

And he wanted to laugh at the looks of both their faces. They didn’t have to say anything at all, but he understood. They envied each other in so many other ways, too complicated to map out. Because they’ve all done their own grievances, done so much that they regret.

Which is why this had to happen. Because no one knew what was going to happen next.

“I know it’s hard for all of us…” Dick said. Tim stared out at the window to see the start of the cold evening. “But we’re brothers. I don’t know about you both, but I don’t want this to tear us all apart.”

It already did, he wanted to say.

But it might not be true. It might not be too late. This brotherhood could still be salvaged. And in a way, it might be worth all that hurt.

“The last few weeks have been hard… for all of us… taken its toll on the rest of the family. And we’ve worked too hard on each other. I don’t…” Dick swallowed. “I don’t want to lose Y/N, but I don’t want to lose both of you either.”

It was easier for him to shut his eyes closed.

Neither do I, Tim thought.

“But… Y/N deserves to be happy… We’ve put her through too much.

“And if it means being with the one she loves, one of us, then so be it. We’re done making her decisions. We don’t decide between the three of us. If she wants to choose, then she gets to choose. And we won't have a say in any of it. She decides if it’s one or none of us at all. She deserves this.”

Jason finished his coffee. He no longer sat so stiff.

Tim sat back on his chair and stared out the window.

“And whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. As brothers. We’ll have each other. It’ll be okay. We’ll make it okay.”

That cold night of late November had the first snowdrop of the year. It was light, subtle, and one would have missed it if they weren’t looking out for too long. But they saw it, and never had something so gentle calm what used to be this rageful storm, not since Y/N.

They hadn’t spoken another word in that diner. But for many hours, they stayed.

They continued to wait for many months. They were patient.

October. November. December. January passed.

And on that day of the second week of February, a day Y/N once loved and hated at different times, they put an end to that waiting.

-----

MASTERLIST | 3 BIRDS 1 STONE MASTERLIST

-----

 A/N: I honestly can’t wait for the finale. AHHHH

MAIN TAGLIST:

@idkmanicantenglish​​, @wunderstell​​, @birdy-bat-writes​​, @multifandomgirl-us​​, @icequeen208​​, @offendedfishnoises​​, @arkhamtoddler​​, @elsenthal​​, @lucy-roo​​,  @loxbbg​​, @reclusive-chicken-nugget​​, @l-inkage​​, @http-cherries​​, @river9noble​​, @zphilophobiaz​​, @annoylinglyaries​​, @knightfall05x​​, @hyp-oh-critical​​, @satan-s-ass​​, @1-800-starmora​​, @flowersgirl02​, @nahcho​​, @thatonecroc​​​, @trixie-bb​​​, @daddyissuesmademe​​​, jasonsbitch, @shadowsndaisies​​ @jaybirdbooty​​​ @writing2sirvive​​​

SERIES TAGLIST:

@spaceservicestation​​, @thedeadlythoughts​​​, @vanessafabricius​​, @pinkforest05​

#dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson x reader #jason todd x reader #tim drake x reader #bruce wayne #damian wayne #barbara gordon #batman #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #reader insert #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #3 birds 1 stone #3 birds 1 stone series #batarella #batarella series

[ellana-ravenwood]

“It’s Alfred dayyyy” - Batfam x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : Every year, every single year, your family reunites to celebrate the marvel that Alfred Pennyworth is.

Because Alfred does deserve his own “holiday” really. This has been sitting in my draft for almost two years, someone send me an ask that reminded me of it and I just suddenly really wanted to write it. I hope you’ll like it : 

my master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

Midnight, a new day :

“And we will be waiting for you at 8 am, your mom and I forced him to sleep in, but we all know he will be awake by that time anyway.”

“Ok, I’ll pick Jaybird on my way there.” 

“Jason is coming ?” 

“He said he would.”

“Oh. Good.” 

Dick did his hardest not to roll his eyes. “Oh. Good.” he says, as if the news didn’t make him wanna jump in joy. But of course, the Batman has a reputation to keep, if he showed too much emotions in one sitting, he’d probably explode. 

The truth was that if Jason was coming...Well if Jason was coming, it meant they were finally on the road to forgiveness. And Dick knew that Bruce had been waiting a long time for this. Bruce...and everyone else really. 

Especially you and Alfred. 

“In any case, be there by 8. We’ll do the usual. Now that I think of it, could you maybe pick up his cake at West Side’s bakery ? Your mother was going to do it, but if you pick up Jason...I think he lives in the area ?” 

Of course, Bruce knew exactly that Jason indeed lived not far from Alfred’s favorite bakery. Because he was keeping an eye on him. Not out of mistrust, or thinking he would kill again (he promised his mom, you, he would stop, but the promise was still recent, so was his return), but because...Well, it was his boy. 

Ever since Bruce adopted Dick, he never stopped worrying about his kids. He never stopped trying to keep an eye on them. It got even worst after Jason’s death...He was actually overbearing many times, which lead Dick away more than once. 

But he’d always be back. 

Just like Jason, eventually, would be fully back. 

For the moment, it was enough that he’d come by tomorrow. 

For tomorrow was the one and only...”Alfred day”. 

“Yeah sure, we can pick the cake up.” 

“Alright. Well. I’m going home, and you lot should too. We promised Alfred, after all. An entire day without any vigilante’s business. Unless there’s an emergency of course. Good night.” 

“’Night dad.” 

Bruce turns to his youngest kids, expecting them to follow him, but Damian says : 

“We’re right behind you, we’re just gonna hang out with Grayson a little more. Since he moved to Blüdhaven, we almost never see him...”

“Guiltripping me will not work little brother.” 

“Are you sure ?” 

Silence. And then Dick turns to his father : 

“I’ll get them home soon, we’re gonna go get some ice cream.” 

Bruce smiles, of this small genuine smile he only has when around his children. He nods, tell them not to stay out too late, and leaves, on his way back to you. 

12:30 pm, Batcave.

“You are late, Master Bruce.”

“Only by half an hour. I had to see Dick before coming back. Logistic talk.” 

As he speaks, Bruce takes his armor off, stretching a little after this short night full of not much happening. As if every villain in Gotham knew this day was happening, and they too would give a break to the butler (because if Bruce was resting, then Alfred could rest too). 

“Well it means you’ll have to start half an hour late tomorrow, this is the deal. Where are the children ?” 

“Alright. I will. And they’re getting ice cream with Dick. Now please, go to bed before she catches you up.” 

“Lady (Y/N) will understand that I was making sure you are home on time.” 

“She does understand yes, and she’s also telling you to go rest this instant ! You have slept even less than Bruce this past few days for god’s sake !” 

Both Bruce and Alfred jumps a bit as you enter the bat cave, smiling at them. Alfred raises his hands in a sign of peace, smiles at you, gives you a kiss goodnight on your forehead (a nightly tradition, by now...you never had a dad, and Alfred took it upon him to catch up lost time), and leaves. 

You turn to Bruce, and gives him your hand. 

He takes it gladly, a smile on his lips. The kind he only shows when around those he loves... 

A “glad you’re here” kiss, and a few words : 

“You know, my favorite thing about this day is that you’re home all day long, and I don’t have to miss you...” 

As usual, your words grip his heart, and his arms tighten around you. Even after years of being together, you could always make his pulse race with only a few words. Sometimes just a look...

He doesn’t resist or look back, when you give his hand a pull and leave the bat cave. 

Rare were the occasions Bruce would forget about his vigilante work. In fact, only one day a year, would he completely forget about it. Because he promised. And because it was a special day. 

A day to celebrate the man he came to view as his father. 

Alfred day. 

1 am, in “Giovanni’s 24/7 gelato” shop. 

The waiter of the place didn't even blink, as he served ice creams to a bunch of kids at 1 am, in the heart of Gotham. Used to it really. Nothing in this city was like any other place. Most people were night dwellers, even children.

Probably because, thanks to a certain group of vigilante, they all felt safer when the sun was down. 

“So, how did it start exactly, this Alfred day ?” 

Duke asks, after taking a full scoop of his favorite ice cream, curtesy of a certain Dick grayson. 

You had told Duke, about a week prior to it, that he had to clear his schedule for this particular day but didn’t really explain what it was exactly. Just that it was to celebrate Alfred. Not giving much more context. 

Dick smiles, and say : 

“How did it start ? Haha, oh man, it’s quite the story.” 

With an annoyed sigh, Damian says : 

“Just out with it already Grayson, we know, you were the only one that knew them by then blahblahblah.” 

“Do I sense a hint of jealousy, little bird ?” 

Damian doesn’t answer, but plants his spoon a little bit more aggressively in his gelato. Ah yes, maybe he was a tiny bit jealous that Dick had the luck to have their parents all for himself, once upon a time...Maybe. 

“Well anyway, legend has it that mom chose the date.”

Dick takes a dramatic pause, making the siblings who already heard the story (so everyone but Duke) roll their eyes. Their oldest brother had a flair for dramatic retelling of past events. 

“A long long time ago, on this day, when I was only 8 and just came into the family, they got into a bad fight. When I was little, before Jason came in, they got on the verge of breaking up a few times. Even did really broke up once, worst fucking time of my life, feeling like I was losing another family (A/N : referencing this story : The break-up)...”

A shot pause, this time, not for dramatics, but because the memory was genuinely painful and Dick had to take a short break. He continues : 

“So anyway, on this day, a long time ago, Mom discovered how vital Alfred was to this family. She said it’d been a day where she wanted to literally kill our father because he was so damn annoying, and overly brooding, and stupid – her words not mine- and that Alfred calmed her in just a few words. I don’t quite know what he told her, or what he told dad. All I know is that he told me that he wouldn’t let them break-up again over a stupid fight, and um, next thing I know, I’m avoiding the East wing for a few hours.” 

“Oh...Oh no Dick gross !” 

Dick chuckles, enjoying a bit too much messing with his little siblings. 

“Anyway, mom decided that Alfred deserved a day, in the year, where we would do everything HE wants because without him, our family would crumble. It just sort of became a tradition. So from midnight right now, to midnight of next day, no vigilante business. And we spend the day all together with him.” 

“That’s actually...a really sweet story ?” 

“It really is Dukie, it really is.”

“Dukie ?”

“Ah sorry, you’re part of the family now, which earns you a nickname from me. Jaybird. Timbo. Dami. Cass or Cassie if I feel like being a particularly doting older brother. So...had to find one for you. It was between Dukie and Dukester so-”

“Dukie is fine.”

Everyone snickers as Duke rolls his eyes, and then he asks : 

“So...What exactly are we gonna do ?” 

“Oh, well it’s simple. It starts at 8 am when we arrive, and we kick off with...”

4 am, Alfred’s bedroom. 

You open the door to Alfred’s room quietly, as you would sometimes to make sure your children sleep. 

This time, you were checking to see if the butler did really go to bed. One of the point of Alfred day, was that he had to feel perfectly fine, and he never had a full night rest ! 

So if you had to make sure he did during that time, then you would. 

Your children had came home a few hours ago, happy they had some time with their oldest brother. Dick had been away often lately, and they missed him...You knew they were gonna guilt trip him into buying them a snack. 

You and Bruce had had some alone time before they came home, that you definitely took advantage of...But for now, you escaped your husbands grip to come and check on Alfred, making sure he was sound asleep. 

And he was. Good. Perfect. He’d have a good night sleep. A full night of sleep. 

Quietly, you left the room again, unaware that a smile slowly rose on the Butler’s face... 

8:02 am, Alfred Day : 

Bruce is the one that opens the front door for them. They have their own keys, of course...but they both forgot them, as usual. 

They’d normally just climb through a window, or sneak into the backyard, knowing where all the security devices were (the back door was never closed because of this), but decided that for this day, they’d just ring the bell and come in the right way. 

Without much surprise, Bruce answers the door. It’d either be him or you, during Alfred’s day. Or anyone that wasn’t Alfred really. 

Dick and Jason move to remove their shoes (house rules, NO SHOES inside) and coats, while Bruce looks at them, waiting for them so they can all walk back to the kitchen. 

Jason is the fastest, and there’s this embarrassed silence between the three of them. Bruce smiles awkwardly at Jason, who looks away as soon as their eyes meet. With a “tt” very typical of his little brother, Jason says : 

“Don’t misunderstand this, I’m here for Alfred. And...For mom.”

“I know.” 

“Good.” 

“Yes.”

Silence. Awkward, as Dick takes way too long to untie his shoes, and pretend he’s not hearing anything.

Bruce knows what he’s doing. He knows his oldest son is trying to give him some more time “alone” with Jason. But he’s not really sure what to say...

“I’m um...I’m glad you came.” 

Good. That was good. Keep going on that path Bruce, that’s actually-

“Yeah, whatever. I’m going ahead, you know the way Dick.” 

Damn. Almost there. Almost there with an actual moment between them two. Dick sighs, and puts a hand on his father’s shoulder. 

“He’ll come around.” 

Bruce doesn’t answer, he exhales slowly and nods, not very convinced...But today was not a day to dwell on the bad. Jason and him would make this work, if only for today. 

Because today was Alfred’s day.

8h30 am, the Kitchen. 

The butler came down in the kitchen, well rested and pleased to be greeted by his entire family. Your smiles already made his day perfect, and if “Alfred Day” was done in this instant, he’d still be happy. 

“Sit down Pennyworth, we have made breakfast for you ! Well...Mom and father did...but we helped ! I was in charge of making tea ! And I think you will appreciate the way I brewed it. I followed an ancient Japanese recipe, and I reckon an aficionado like yourself will appreciate it.” 

Damian bloomed when he was with his family. To people who didn’t know him as well as his siblings and parents, he could seem like a petulant and arrogant child, but he was the opposite of that. 

He was insecure, and unsure. Scared of being left alone. And so to overcompensate all the fear instilled in him by years of abuse from his “grandfather”, the infamous Ras Al’Ghul, Damian could be quite a little jerk sometimes. 

But when he was with his family...He opened up. He smiled. And he spend hours trying to brew the perfect cup of tea for the grandfather he actually chose to have. 

“Bruce made your favorite Alf’, didn’t do half a bad job either -you smile at your husband, and give him a quick peck, which have the famous result of making your children make their best “ew” face-. You taught him well.” 

You say, smiling widely at the butler.

It’s true, Alfred did teach Bruce how to cook really well. People often had the misconception the billionaire was bad at housework, which was wrong of course. 

When his parents were alive, they’d insist he still had chores to do, so he wouldn’t be too spoiled. And when Alfred raised him, he taught him as much as he could so that the boy could hold his own. 

Bruce was a great cook (you could definitely attest to that, what with him cooking your favorite meals on date nights and all). And he always made Alfred’s perfect breakfast for his special day. 

“Jason and I just arrived so we didn’t really participate, but we picked up your favorite cake so it counts right ?” 

Dick says, a wide smile on his face. Oh master Dick, Alfred blessed the day this little boy walked in their lives. 

He wasn’t so little anymore, but he was always such a joy to have over. Even when he had his tantrum as a youngster (and now sometimes too, although he became better in controlling his burst of anger), Alfred couldn't help but love that child. 

The butler turned to Jason, who shyly smiled at him and...Alfred’s heart was full. 

“I am very happy to see you in this house, Master Jason.” 

He said, as he sits around the kitchen table. Jason’s cheek tints slightly of red, as they always do when he’s a bit embarrassed and overwhelmed. 

Jason was such a kind and sensitive child. He never quite got used to compliments, having been used to abuse and hate, and he would always blush under them. Alfred was glad to see that, even after the horror Jason went through, small things could still make his cheek turn rosy...

Jason sat down at the table, looking happier than he had in ages. 

“For you.” 

Cassandra said, settling in front of him a plate full of food, while Damian put the the cup of tea down. 

Sweet little Cassandra. It was always a pleasure to hear her talk. Poor little thing was never taught love, or even how to talk...Having you in her life greatly helped. Having a family, greatly helped. 

She still didn’t talk very often, but when she did, all of her words truly counted. She laid a small kiss on Alfred’s forehead, to bid him good morning, and went to sit in her usual spot, right between you and Damian. 

“You will be happy to know, Alfred, that all of our electronic devices have been off since midnight last night ! Yes, even mine. Promise !” 

Tim exclaims, smiling at him. 

Tim was the only one out of all of Bruce’s children to have entered this life willingly. The only one that came knocking at their door, just really wanting to help. 

Unfortunately, him too lost his parents over time (although they weren’t particularly great ones)...But the first impulse the boy had, was that he just loved Batman and wanted to give a hand ! 

Tim was selfless, maybe a little too much, and often worried you to death. He would get wrapped up in his projects even more than his father, and needed a constant reminder to take care of himself...task that you, Bruce, Alfred and his siblings would share gladly. He would give back anyway, working his ass off and putting his own life on the line for them any hour of the day... 

At the furthest side of the table from him, sat Duke. 

This was his first “Alfred Day”, and he was looking at things curiously, nonetheless happy to be here. 

Young Duke’s situation was a little special. His parents were still alive, and he still hoped they’d find a cure for their madness. Because of this, the boy would often distance himself on purpose from some family events, finding it hard to find his own place. 

This was one reason he didn’t wear the Robin mantel for long, and almost immediately went to be The Signal. It didn’t help either, that he was the only metahuman. 

And yet...Yet as the days went by, Duke felt more and more at home at the Manor, and would more and more hang out with everyone. More and more felt like he was truly part of the family, now. 

Of course, him moving to Wayne Manor was all very recent, and he needed time. Time that everyone was giving him willingly and gladly. Time to adjust and find his place. 

But here, sitting around the kitchen table bustling with activity and laughter, Duke felt like...he felt like this Alfred Day brought him one step closer to truly be a part of it all. After all, to him too, the butler had been nothing but great. 

Alfred had that talent, to congregate everyone around him... 

You felt happy, there, sitting amongst your children, your love, and the man you came to consider your father. 

Alfred had a good feeling, when he first met you. He knew. He knew you’d be the one to “tame” the bat, to not take his shit when he was being a jerk, and to give him unconditional love. 

“Unconditional”. 

It was important, to be in a relationship with a man like Bruce Wayne. 

But oh. Oh he was giving you back every bits of love you ever gave him, times a hundred. He let you in in his world, and had no intention of ever letting you go. 

Breakfast went by fast, as everyone talked away, and enjoyed each others company. 

It was very rare, nowadays, that everyone could be in the same place. At least one of them would be busy normally. But on this day...on this day they surely made sure they would be free. 

And so here they were, having breakfast altogether, happy. 

If only people from the outside could see this scene; If only. 

Then they’d know, just like Alfred knew, that this family was the strongest, tightest that ever existed, and that there was nothing but love between all of them. 

************

11 am, the theater.

Before the first “Alfred Day” happened, Wayne Manor did not have a “theater”. 

It had a “Ballroom number 3″. 

It was your idea, to turn it into a small theater, so that Alfred could perform for everyone. 

Over the years, you had realized that Alfred was actually a very talented actor. After all, he filled in Batman’s shoes many times, to pretend that Bruce couldn’t possibly be him. And he might’ve use his dramatic talent to convince you and the rest of your family to do what he wanted you to do...

Clever man. 

On Alfred Day, the first activity, after breakfast, would be to take part in a monologue of his. Usually shakespearian. But sometimes he’d come up with small surprises. He once recited the “heaven” part of the Divine Comedy by Dante, because he knew you loved that poem. 

It was absolutely brilliant, and you almost wished he had pursued an acting career instead of becoming the Wayne’s butler...but then, you would’ve never met him. 

By 11 am, breakfast would usually be done and it was time for a performance of a year. By that time, Barbara and Stephanie would’ve join. 

They didn’t live in the Manor, but they were close friend of the family. Friends that definitely knew how precious Alfred was to everyone. 

This year, Alfred decided to entertain you with a series of short monologues taken from a wide array of material, from Shakespeare to movies. It was fascinating. They all had their snacks as if they were at the movie theater, and were captivated by his performance. 

For Alfred, it was a way to relive his youth, working in London’s east end’s theaters. And to perform his hobby in front of a live audience. 

So sure, maybe said live audience might’ve been a bit biased towards him, but he knew their applause and praises were genuine. 

************

1 pm, East Wing living room. 

Lunch was always skipped, as you snacked too much during Alfred’s performance, and he was never hungry after he acted. 

You’d directly skipped to Alfred’s compliment session. 

He both loved and hated this time. Loved it because it was a treat to see he positively impacted his family. Hated it because it was never comfortable to just hear people compliment you The moment they gave him a cherished memory they shared with him...

Each year, one by one, they would tell him something he did for them that really was important to them. 

It was custom that the youngest would start. So Damian stood up, and said : 

“My memory this year, is one that happened not long after I came to live in Wayne Manor. I had just gotten into a fight with Tim, and been mean to mom as she tried to talk to me about it...I felt terrible. I felt like I would never be someone good. Pennyworth came in my room, ignoring me when I told him to get away from me. He settled some cookies for me, and told me a story of my father when he was young. Of how stubborn he used to be, and how sometimes, he’d say very hurtful things he didn’t mean...Alfred explained to me that it was normal to feel angry, when we’re hurt. That it was ok to not always be on our best behavior. That the people who love us will understand, and do understand. That they’ll still be there if they really care. Then he left, and I went to apologize to my mom. And she was there. I also apologized to Tim, and him too, was there...”

Damian sat back down, avoiding everyone’s eyes, as he felt too overwhelmed with feelings. You threw an arm around his shoulder, and he instantly hid his face in your own shoulder, acting like a little scared kitten who’d hide under his mom. 

It melted everyone’s heart, but nobody would say anything of course. This was between Damian and Alfred. 

It was Duke’s turn, and he was a little nervous, as it was his first time : 

“Mine is...Well...It’s going to sound so silly, after Damian’s heartfelt story, but one of my best memory with you Alfred, is when I first put The Signal mantel, and immediately hurt myself that night. I came back to the bat cave early, feeling shameful I couldn’t finish my patrol. You took care of my wound, and simply reassured me. It was just...soothing. I didn’t feel bad, as you stitched me up and calmed me down. I felt at peace, for the first time since my parents went mad...I can’t quite remember what you told me, as you just talked about random things, to calm me down. And it worked. As silly as it can sound, it worked. And that’s um...That’s when I started to feel good, here. Ok. That’s all.” 

Duke sat back down too, hoping Tim would start speaking soon. Thankfully, he did. 

“The memory I chose to share today, is one that is rather recent. I was struggling with some...self-worth issues. I felt like I could never fill dad’s shoes. Or Dick’s. Or Jason’s. Or anyone’s. I felt like I was trash. Like I was wasting away. I felt anxiety eating me up, and I was too scared to talk to anyone about it. Even to you, mom. I knew you’d find the right words, but I was just too scared you’d be worried about me. I know you worry a lot. So I didn’t say anything. Alfred walked in on me having a panic attack...and he helped me fight it. Then he scolded me because I didn’t tell anyone anything, and that it was a bad habit to always take all the burden on my shoulders. He then brewed me some tea, and talked about my favorite TV show with me to take my mind off of things...” 

Tim smiled at Alfred, and sat down. You reached for him, and squeezed his hand, making him understand you too, were there. And you worried about all of them all the time anyway so, ya know.

It was Cass’ turn now. Cass always had some interactive things, because she never spoke too long. She held up some drawings she had made (with the help of Damian). It represented her at a ballet recital (to which you all went by the way, and which was amazing. Cass was a talented little star). She gave the small comics to Alfred, took a deep breath, and said : 

“Thank you for helping me work on my dance, even when you were busy. You are a good teacher. For everything, from dance to how to make a perfect loaf of bread. I love your bread. I love your dance lesson. I love eating bread after our lessons. I love you more than bread. Even the sandwiches mom make with your bread and my favorite homemade jam.” 

She then did a few ballet dance move, and sat down again, holding her knees with her arms, and breathing deeply. It was still a difficult exercice for her, to speak. And to convey her feelings through words. It was always difficult, and quite an exploit that she said that much. 

Alfred smiled at her, before turning to Jason. 

“I’ll never forget the day you yelled at Bruce because he tied me up after I stole the batmobile’s tires. How livid you were, and how you threatened him to tell everything to mom. How he instantly looked scared at the idea of her being angry, and how you made him realize he went too far. How you were there, every step of my way adapting to life in a mansion, after living in the streets. But yes, above all, I’ll never forget the day someone stood for me for the first time, when you yelled at da-Bruce. When you yelled at Bruce for me.” 

He almost said “dad”. And that alone, was making Alfred’s heart happy. It was proof there still was some hope to salvage their relationship... 

“Ok, well I’ll be quicker than everyone else. And just say : you’re the best grandfather I could ever ask for.” 

With Dick, there was only two solutions. He would either go into a lengthy reenactment of a very specific event, or throw affirmations like that that would make Alfred feel tears coming to his eyes. 

Today, Dick decided on a short and sweet version, and it fitted perfectly. 

It was now your turn : 

“Every year, I’m reminded how vital you are to this family. And every year, it is tough to chose just one memory I love about you. I always have to think, because there’s so many. But I think this year, I will choose that time I said “yes” to Bruce after refusing his marriage proposal three times, and you screamed in happiness, through your broom across the room, and ran to hug me. It was so out of character for you, it makes me happy just to think about it. But I mean, I can understand the excitement...I was pretty content myself.” 

You smile, looking at your love, and he rolls his eyes at you, before smiling too. Of this pure smile he only shows you. And then he turns to Alfred, and tells him : 

“You made the loss of my parents bearable. Without you, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I’d probably turn...very dark.”

There was a small silence. 

Bruce’s speech was always short and to the point. 

And every time they were all done talking, Alfred would find himself with tears in his eyes. With those last few words from his son, this time didn’t escape the rule, and he found himself dabbing at the corner of his eyes. 

Damian’s next word released the emotional atmosphere as he looked at his father and said : 

“Tt, show off.” 

Everyone bursted in laughter, and this great day continued on... 

************

4 pm, interlude. 

This was Alfred’s few hours of utter peace. Everyone would leave him alone, and he could relax doing something he liked to do (usually reading or something of the sort) while not worrying about anyone. 

You’d give him space. It was very rare, for Alfred to be all alone with his thoughts, thoughts that he was forced to NOT have about his family. 

It was even rarer that he wouldn’t think about Bruce or you, or his “grandkids”. So in this day, when he knew none of them were doing anything dangerous, he took full advantage of it to relax his mind. 

In the meantime, you’d watch a film or two. 

Damian and Tim were in the process of choosing when Duke turned to Bruce, and a smirk on his face asked : 

“Soooo…I heard Alfred Day exists because you annoyed (Y/N) ? »

Bruce glares at Duke, ah he never quite likes to remember why Alfred Day exists…But before he can answer, you enter the room (you went to get some snacks for the movies) and exclaim :

“Don’t let Dick downplay how truly unsufferable he was that day ! Dick always manages to forgive his dad, and make things less worst than they are. It’s a talent really. Annoying doesn’t even cover how awful he was. He had one of those « dark days », decided he should break up with me for my own safety out of literally nowhere, yelled at baby Dick, was mean to Alfred saying he could fire him…I swear I could’ve slapped him.”

“You tried.”

“And if Alfred hadn’t stopped me, I would’ve succeeded. Anyway. Yes. You see, Bruce and I almost broke up that day because he was being really stupid, and Alfred...salvaged everything.”

“I was being stupid indeed...I almost lost...I...”

Sometimes, when he would remind himself of that day he almost went too far and truly drove you away, Bruce would feel almost like an anxiety attack coming over him. Because if he had lost you, and had continue on the path he was taking with Dick...Well he wouldn’t have had that second shot at having a family.

And it was enough of a frightening thought to be overwhelmed with anxiety.

“To be honest, I also was quite stupid. I can be stubborn too, sometimes. And there were time, at the beginning, where I wouldn’t try to be in your place...” 

You say, letting soothing fingers run through his hair, a motion you knew always relaxed him. Bruce instantly calmed down, as your kids made some disgusted faces at your closeness, and the incident was over. 

It was good, though, that Duke asked. First because it was actually pretty funny to think of the fearless Batman getting his ass kicked by his wife...but also because it was a good reminder to him of what he almost lost, and who he used to be. 

Alfred saved him. 

You saved him. 

His children saved him. 

And now, he could appreciate a relaxing movie time with all of you (minus Alfred, who was in his room, probably devouring the cake you got him (because yes, that cake was for him and him only), finally relaxed). 

The movie chosen, everyone took their usual spot on the massive couch, that Bruce had ordered specifically so that his big family could all fit on. 

At one point, both you and Bruce drifted off to sleep, in each others’ arms, and barely noticed your kids placing a blanket on you, rolling their eyes at how teeth rotting sweet you two were. 

6 pm, a walk through the park. 

Alfred loved Wayne Manor’s gardens. 

And he loved even more peacefully walk through them with his family. 

This was the time you were always reminded how massive the “backyard” was, when you’d go through acres of it. 

The kids would play soccer, baseball, football, or anything really. Alfred would often join. He was actually very athletic, and the kids would fight to have him on their team. 

You and Bruce would take part in it too, and your children would always make sure you’d be in the same team. Sure, sometimes you’d stop playing to smooch each others, like two damn teenagers...BUT, having you both on the same team would avoid triggering your crazy competitive minds. 

For some reason, whenever you had to play against each others, you’d both get very ruthless and petty, and it would often time get annoying (for real, you were forbidden to play UNO since a long time by then). 

You’d all spend some times outside, no matter the weather, enjoying a normal family outing. 

Alfred loved this time of the day. 

Because he loved the gardens, but most of all, he loved seeing his family being happy and together... 

9:30 pm, the dinner. 

Dinner was entirely prepared by you, and Alfred only had to come at the table and wait. 

By then, you had a perfect system that made it so the meal was prepped efficiently. It was Alfred’s favorite, of course. 

The table would be filled with all his favorite meals, prepared mainly by Bruce with you guys’ help. 

Your kids would pretend to be waiter in a fancy restaurant, and exaggerate everything, which was very funny. 

And you’d all share a meal, something that was quite rare, in this day and age. 

In fact, you were pretty sure that your entire family being reunited for a dinner happened max three times a year. For the holiday season, for Alfred Day, and for Batman day (you just thought it was funny to celebrate it). 

This was just a time to catch up, and to be together. 

Alfred would ask countless questions to everyone, and everyone would be polite and listen. It’d just be so nice, and relaxing... 

11:30 pm, almost the end. 

The day would end in the batcave, with everyone enjoying each others’ presence for a few more minute before you’d go back to a “normal” life. 

You’d talk about your favorite moment of the day, and how you always really liked “Alfred day”. 

And then it’d be over. Alfred would retake his butler position, and the Batman would prowl the streets of Gotham once more. 

You’d be their home support again, working the computer often, and you-

Ah. Yes. But not yet. 

There were still a few minutes. And it sounded like the perfect time for you to finally talk about a certain news...

You see, Alfred was the one you went to to vent. You loved your family with all your heart... But anyone knowing them just à little bit knew they could be à handful. And Alfred, he was always there. 

So it just seemed fitted for you, that you’d announce this news on that day. While everyone was around, and celebrating Alfred’s existence. 

Because what you were about to say, was one of Alfred’s dearest hope...

12:28 pm, 2 minutes before the end. 

You waited the very last minute, because you thought the effect would be even better. 

And as your husband and kids were ready to leave, you said : 

“Oh wait, I have one last thing to say on this very special day !” 

They all stopped, and turned around, looking at you. You smiled. Nervous, but happy. You knew that you and Bruce wanted this anyway, so it would be fine. And you knew your kids...your kids would be happy. For sure. 

But Alfred. Alfred would be over the moon. And so, without further ado, you said : 

“I’m pregnant !”

Bruce’s eyes went wide, and his mouth opened dumbly. He froze on the spot, before smiling widely and starting to laugh stupidly. His first reaction was to go to Alfred, which you were expecting. 

Your children all reacted at the same time, rushing you like a wave of noise and excited screams and...pfiouh they could be overwhelming. 

Alfred was indeed over the moon. 

And he was the one calming your children, tearing them off of you so he could hug you, and give you some space, too. 

Because that’s what Alfred did. Take care of you. Of his family. 

And Alfred day, this year, ended with him looking at you and Bruce hugging tightly, overjoyed by the news of a future new little addition to the family. 

Up until next year, and this future baby’s first Alfred day...

_________________________________________________

Annnnd it’s 9:12 am, kept my promise to post something “today” haha. Probably not the best time to post. Buuuut...well, another sleepless night (or early morning, all about perspective really haha) of writing. I’m definitely back :). I hope you liked this story, I’m a little nervous after being gone for so long, I feel like I don’t know how to write anymore, and this is all very...mmmmbadhgezhe. I still do hope you liked it a little bit. 

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3. 

#Bruce Wayne x Reader #Batmom #Batfam #Batfamily #Batfam x Reader #Richard Grayson x Reader #Bruce Wayne imagine #Tim Drake x Reader #Damian Wayne x reader #Jason Todd x Reader #Duke Thomas x reader #cassandra cain x reader #Alfred Pennyworth #Alfred Dayyyyy haha #to read in the same tone #than that #'It's garbage dayyyyy' line #look for it online you'll get what I mean #Batfamily x Reader #DC reader insert #Bruce Wayne #Richard Grayson #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #Cassandra Cain #Fem!Reader

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry XXXII. The End of the Road

A/N: This is it folks! The end of the road... I want to thank you all for every message and for that, especially my love anon (now not anon anymore) because seriously you’ve been the wind blowing on my sail. 

Also like I’ve said, I’m all in for blurbs into Harry’s and Indie’s life together so I might surprise you with some when you least expect them ;) Thank you thank you thank you 

BLUE’S POV

My hands are sticky and trembling as I wait on the line. The dim lights really give the café such a cosy sense to it and the dark brown of the furniture and the bricks also make it look like you were inside an auburn tree. It also smells delicious, like cookies and cinnamon and berries deliciously mixed with the strong scent of coffee.

My heart stops beating as I stand before her with just the desk and the vintage looking cashier between us. She hasn’t yet looked at me when she asks.

“What would you like to have, dea-?”

Her tone dies down when her hazel eyes finally set on me and mine investigate hers as I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Indie.” She whispers.

I give her a timid smile. Dylan’s mum calls someone named Molly and asks her to take care of the cashier as she comes out from behind the desk. She’s wearing an apples-pattern apron tied around her waist and her hair, shorter now than ever, is barely coming out of a low ponytail on the back of her neck. She lets out what could be described as a nervous chuckle when she stands closer to me. I can tell she doesn’t know how to greet me so I give her a hug. Her arms wrap around me and I feel her sighing against my chest.

“Let me get us a cup of coffee and a muffin.”

I stand there watching her work and hold the cute lilac plate with the huge muffin when she tells me and she takes both our coffee cups with tiny plates underneath to a table near one of the windows. It’s raining outside but it’s nice to watch and hear the rain from inside the café. The fire is lit so it’s nice and warm inside too.

“The place looks lovely, Amalia.”

“Thank you.” She smiles. “You look stunning.”

I smile at her before I add some sugar to my coffee and stir it with my teaspoon. She does the same.

“It’s very nice to see you. This muffin right here is called Indie Blue.” She grins. “It’s got vanilla and blueberries.”

I nod and smile at her but I’m sure she can tell my eyes get teary. I don’t deserve this. The fact that after three years, Dylan’s mother still makes a muffin and names it after me, when all I’ve done is… Move on just breaks my heart.

“How are you, love?” She sets her hand over mine. “Tell me about Med school.”

“I’m good.” I lie. “Med school is fine. It’s getting harder every year but I like it more every year too so that’s good. I feel like we’re all growing up so fast though. I mean Olivia’s leaving, Jason too…”

It almost surprises me how I can still talk to her as if we were family. I guess in a way we are. We went through the loss of Dylan together. She helped me and I think I helped her too, so I think we will always be somehow connected.

“Where are they leaving?”

She grabs a fork and eats some of the muffin after she took the paper of it and I eye the fork she set in front of me. Her kind eyes don’t leave mine and she looks so much like Dylan, even though the colour of their eyes is different, the way they look is the same so I can’t look into her eyes for too long. They look at you as if you were the most interesting person in the room, it doesn’t matter what you’re saying, you can talk about garden dwarfs and still be interesting to them.

“Olivia’s going to Paris. She’s very excited. She wants to be a gynaecologist and she got an internship on the maternal unit so she’s very happy. And Jason’s going to the States. He’s only going to be gone for three months, thank God.” I chuckle.

“Not long.” She grins.

“What about you? How are you and Robert?”

“We’re good, yeah. Robert’s back on the road. He went back last year and I’ve been good, pretty busy with the café and the organisation.”

My eyes drop to the muffin between us when she mentions that and I take a forkful and bring it to my mouth.

“I’m also babysitting now. D’you remember the Holts next door?” I nod. “Well, they had a baby and I stay with her sometimes.”

“Nice. I bet she’s cute.”

“She is so cute, so chubby too.” She giggles.

I giggle and fear the moment when our conversation will die enough so that she would ask me why I came. I don’t need a reason to come see her and I could always say I just wanted to catch up with her, but this woman knows me like my Mum does and I know she knows there’s something I want to tell her.

She asks me about my Mum too but I know they still talk and she tells me about Caroline, Jess and Sean. She keeps in touch with them too and it’s nice to hear life’s good for them. Sometimes I’m sad I lost contact with them after Dylan’s loss but it was just too hard to see them. It was like I couldn’t stop thinking about who was missing. 

“How are you, really, Blue?” She asks.

I know what she means. I take a deep breath. There goes nothing. 

“I met someone.”

My voice croaks and I didn’t know the tears were so close to falling until they roll down my cheeks. I wipe them away and try my best not to sob and even though her eyes are teary too, her hand rests on mine again and her thumb caresses the back of my hand.

“I’m very happy for you.”

My eyebrows meet and I shake my head. I knew she would be. 

“I just wish I could talk to him. I want to tell him I haven’t forgotten about him. I never will…” I let the tears roll down my cheeks. “I love him but… I’ve just been… So lonely and it’s been so hard and I wasn’t looking for him, he just… Showed up and… I don’t know, I guess you’re the closest thing I have to Dylan now… And I needed to take this off my chest, to explain myself to you, I… I wish he hadn’t died, I wish that every day, but he did and I have to stay here and live without him and I thought I had to that alone but… Maybe I don’t?”

“Indie, Robert and I want nothing more than for you to be happy. We love you. And so did Dylan, I know he did, but like you said, you have to live, darling.” She smiles. “He’d be happy.”

I can’t hold it in anymore so I hide my face behind my hands and full on cry. She brings a chair next to mine and wraps her arm around my shoulders and just let me cry like she has done so many times before.

“I miss him.” I confess. “There are so many things I want to tell him every day, you know. I want him to see that Coco’s in love, that I got an A in Paediatrics, that Rio is working at the bank.”

“He is seeing that.” Her arm squeezes me closer to her. “He’s taking care of us. I know you miss him, honey. So do I, but he would want us to go on.”

“Yes, I know.”

“He would be very proud of you. I hope you know that.”

“I just want him to know I love him, I always will, even if I love someone else. It doesn’t change who he is to me.”

“I know.”

She gives me some tissues and I cry over her son’s absence as she rests her cheek on my head and caress my arm. She’s always been a lot stronger than I am and she’s always been a rock to rest upon when I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. When I calm down enough, she sits back in front of me and gives me a small smile.

“Will you tell me about him?”

I can see him in her and somehow by telling her, I feel like I’m confessing it to him too.

“There’s not much to tell now” I raise my eyebrows “it didn’t work out.”

“What? Why?”

I shake my head and shrug as if I didn’t know why when I perfectly know what happened. I tell her a little about him though and she asks mum-like questions and even laughs at some of the stories I tell her.

After about an hour of chatting, we both call it a day and I go home to my dad and siblings. I didn’t tell them the real reason why Harry didn’t come. I told them he eventually got caught up with work and if they didn’t believe it they pretended they did.

The Golden Girls have been checking on me daily but even though I’m heartbroken, I’m somehow calmed. I talked to Amalia and I told Harry what I needed to tell him so I guess I just have this feeling of having been honest with everyone and I don’t feel guilty anymore.

I’m brushing my hair on my pyjamas after the shower when Ollie calls.

“Hi, babe” she chirps. “How is everything at Capitol? How’s your dad?”

“Good.” I tell her. “Yeah, he’s doing great. You wouldn’t tell he had an aortic dissection.”

We both chuckle.

“I knew it. Your dad’s strong like a bull.” She giggles.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. I got a call from Paris. Do you remember I did the interview on Skype?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, they just called me.” She sighs. “I got it.”

So she’s officially leaving. Oh, man, I’m going to miss her so much.

“Indie?”

“Yes.” I get my shit together. “Well, that’s great, Ollie! I’m so happy for you! I won’t lie to you, I’m going to miss you like crazy but I’m happy for you.”

“Maybe you don’t have to miss me…” She says.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I rejected it.”

“WHAT? Where does this change of heart comes from?”

“I don’t know… I’ve just been thinking… Paris is so far away…”

Oh, no. She’s as head over heels in love as I am… It must be the time for us Golden Girls…

“You did it for Mario, didn’t you?”

There’s a certain silence on her end but I can hear her breathing.

“Maybe.”

I smile.

“So you guys are like together for real?”

“Yes… Aren’t we?”

I chuckle.

“Oh, no, don’t ask me! Did you two talk about this? Does he know you took the internship down for him?”

“Of course not! I didn’t do it for him! Olivia Bassot doesn’t reject internships for anyone! I did it for myself.”

“Because you want to be with him.”

“That’s right but still it was for me, not for him.”

“Okay, yeah, great.” I laugh. “May I know what made you change your mind?”

She sighs.

“Actually, I don’t quite know. It’s just when they told me I got it, I wasn’t happy, you know? So I thought wait, I don’t have to go, I don’t have to prove anything to anybody.”

“That’s right.” I smile. “I won’t lie, Ollie, I’m fucking happy.”

She laughs.

“Me too, babe. Now I gotta go, I’m telling Mario tonight. Wish me luck.”

“What do you mean wish me luck? He’s gonna be thrilled!”

“He better.” She laughs. “Anyway, gotta go. Love you!”

“Love you.”

Well, at least there are some good news. Wrapped up on my thick woollen stay at home cardigan, I make my way downstairs where I guess my family awaits. Rio’s reading a book near the fireplace and Coco’s walking towards the door.

“Are you expecting someone?” She asks me.

I shake my head and stare at the door from the bottom of the stairs. My dad shows up at the kitchen door and tells me he made pumpkin and sweet potato cream and I’m about to thank him when my sister opens the door.

“Blue, look who’s here!”

My mouth and my eyes open wide. My heart beats hard and fast against my ribs and my breathing stops until I feel tingling all over my skin.

It’s Harry.

“Hello, Blue.”

I deflate like a balloon when I hear his voice and my breathing resumes. I almost have to hold on to the railing of the stairs so as not to fall. There he is, calm and unfaced, standing right next to my sister and looking stunning on blue jeans and a dark brown sweater underneath his opened grey coat. His hair is a messy mane of curls on top of his head but his warm signature dimply smile is nowhere to be found. That’s the only reason that I don’t run towards him and kiss him.

Hello, Blue. No hello, baby or hello, love. Hello, Blue. Anyone here in Capitol could have said that… But he’s here. He’s cold, but he’s here. That’s already something and I don’t know why I’m complaining.

“Oh, Harry!” My dad walks towards him and offers him his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Blue said you got caught up with work.”

His green eyes search for mine before he looks back at my dad. I don’t know what he’s thinking.

“I was indeed caught up with work but… I got off the hook last minute.”

“That’s great! Isn’t that great, Blue? But get in here!” My dad urges me. “Greet him, honey.”

I clear my throat and run a hand through my hair as I walk closer to him. Harry doesn’t take his eyes off me but he’s seemingly unaffected by my presence. I’m afraid of his greeting. If he flinches I might cry. I don’t know whether he read my note or not but if he did, I don’t know why he’s acting so cold and if he didn’t, I don’t know why he’s here.

Coco’s closed the door after him and I see a small trolley behind him. My heart warms up at the thought that he came to stay. When I get to him, the habit takes the best of me and my lips search for his but he discreetly pulls his face away and instead gives me a hug. I don’t know if he did it out of respect for my dad or because he didn’t really want to kiss me. Something tells me it’s the second.

His hug is short and superficial and when he pulls away I feel like crying. His green eyes avoid staring into my own and I wonder if he came all the way here just to torture me with his coldness and distance. As I turn around, I see Rio standing a few feet behind me.

“This is my brother, Rio. Rio, this is Harry.”

“Hi, mate.” Rio shakes his hand and Harry gives him a lips closed smile.

When my brother pulls apart, Coco slips her thin, woollen covered body and gives Harry a hug. He gives her a dimply smile and I feel jealousy burning on my belly. What is he doing? That smile was for me!

“I’ll put another plate on the table.” Dad smiles.

My siblings follow him inside the dining room and Harry and I both hear the drawers opening and closing and plates and glasses being placed on the table.

“How did you know where my dad lives?” I whisper to him.

“I asked Olivia.”

With that he walks inside the dining room and I hear him asking Coco how he can help. Wait, so Olivia knew he was coming and she didn’t tell me anything? I literally just talked to her!

At least during dinner I get to sit next to him even though I doubt it was his choosing but rather where he was supposed to sit. I feel clumsy with my cutlery as I try to cut the steak. My Dad’s been asking Harry and me questions all dinner and Harry’s answered those about himself but has let me answer the ones about our relationship so he doesn’t have to tell everyone we’re nothing now, I guess.

My dad brings homemade yoghurt to the table and even after the sweetening effect of my dad’s dessert, Harry’s still distant and cold but he only punishes me. He’s all smiles and cavalry to my family and even Rio seems to like him.

“And Harry” Rio asks “do you know my sister Coco’s boyfriend?”

Coco rolls her eyes and blushes and Harry chuckles.

“Yes, I do.” He nods. “His brother works with me. They’re nice guys, good people.”

“Cool.” Rio nods. “Podrías traerlo tú también a casa, Coco.” (You could bring him home too, Coco.)

“Sí, claro. Harry es mayor que tú. No es lo mismo. El está a salvo porque no podrías con él, pero Guido tiene 21, como Blue. Te lo comerías con papas.” (Yeah, right. Harry is older than you. It’s not the same. He’s safe because you couldn’t take him but Guido is 21, likewise Blue. He’d have nothing to do.)

I don’t think Harry’s understand most of it, but I’m sure he got the part of Harry’s older than you and Guido’s 21 and he’s smart enough to figure out the rest.

Harry’s phone screen illuminates as he gets a text and my heart gets warm when I realize he at least hasn’t change his lock screen photo. I can’t help the grin.

“You didn’t send me that picture of the wedding.” I half whisper to him.

“Did you see them?”

“So there’s more than the one…”

He lets out a little giggle that warms my insides and makes me feel like a teenager.

“You meant my lock screen, right?”

I nod.

“Who took it?”

“The photographer. I think he had a thing for you.” He smirks. “He took lots.”

I look down at my empty yoghurt bowl and smirk. I think that was progress. Baby steps, but it’s better than the cold stare and the minimum hug he gave me when he got here.

After dinner, Dad moves the party to the living room and we all take seats on the couches and the armchairs by the fireplace. Harry doesn’t pay attention to me but my family doesn’t find it weird, mostly because they haven’t really seen us together before, but also because Dad and Rio seem so invested into learning about him. They find him as interesting as I do and I think Harry is at ease too, despite all the questioning. I can tell by his body language that he’s grateful for the way my family welcome him. His eyes avoid mine, but I can tell there’s gratitude on them too and I wonder if he’d ever look at me like he used to.

Dad gets up from his armchair and walks towards the record player and Rio and him start a conversation about which album to play. I take it as my chance to have Harry to myself so I jump from my spot on the coach and sit down next to him. His eyes warn me not to sit too close and most importantly not to touch him, so I keep my hands to myself despite my yearning. 

“Are you okay?” I whisper. 

“Yes, I am. How are you?”

His interest both surprises and softens me and my heart flutters with hope.

“I’m happy you came.” I confess.

“I’m happy you invited me.”

His words are conciliatory but his tone is still dry and I can’t read his expression. His body is tensed though.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I never said I wasn’t.”

I snort. He’s impossible. We both fall into silence after that and I wait for him to explain himself but he never does so I speak again.

“Are you going to talk to me?”

“I am talking to you now.”

“Harry, please.” My bottom lips come out of its own accord. “Can you stop torturing me?”

His jaw clenches and he looks ahead, away from me. I swallow my willing to yell at him and look down at my feet. I feel belittled and abandoned and I hate that he’s so close and so far away.

“I… Did you read my note?”

Only then he tilts his neck so he’s facing me. His green eyes look at me and for the first time since he arrived, I can see the battle inside him. I can see the part of him who wants to forgive me, maybe there’s even a part that already has; but he’s still holding back. I can work with that, I can respect that.

“I am sorry. I already wrote that to you but I can say it out loud in front of my family if you want. I’ll do anything, please. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

“I don’t want you to do that or to keep apologizing, even.”

“Then what do you want?”

I watch him blink. I can tell he’s flabbergasted. He probably wasn’t expecting this behaviour from me and quite frankly neither was I but after talking to Amalia and after getting the peace I needed, I need him to know I would really do anything to take back all the pain I’ve caused him.

“I want you to be fully honest with me and to be yourself for real.”

“Pardon?”

“No more lies, no more hiding things.” He whispers. “You tell me the truth and you tell me what worries you and you tell me when you’re scared and you tell me why. I’ll do the same. I think it’s a fair deal.”

I swallow. I can do that. I meant it when I said I’d do anything. If that’s what he wants, then that’s what he’ll get. I just hope he won’t run away when he hears it all.

“When are you planning on saying it to my face?”

I almost laugh. Is he serious? He came all the way here just to hear me say that? I didn’t think he would want to hear me say it with such fervour. Isn’t it obvious? Is it not enough to show it? Is it not best to show it? I would rather have someone never telling me they love me but showing me every day that the other way around.

But okay, I can do that too. If he wants me to say it that bad, then I’ll say it… But in my own way. From the corner of my eye, I can see my dad’s still busy with the records and Rio’s back on his book and Coco’s on the phone. No one’s paying attention to us. So I get closer to him and I act brave despite the fear of his rejection. He frowns but he gets visibly nervous and he doesn’t flinch and he doesn’t pull away so I keep getting closer, like a kitten, and his eyes drop to my mouth. My lips look for his and Harry relaxes his face and for a moment it seems his guard is down and his lips part. His pupils are dilated and his eyes are set on my lips.

“Blue! I got an A on my essay!” Coco celebrates.

Fuck you, Coco! I mean- good for you but fuck your timing! Harry pulls away from me and I straighten my back despite the way my chest deflates. I give my sister a smile.

“Enhorabuena, hermana.” (Congratulations, sister.)

Dad and Rio congratulate her and ask her on her essay, as if they would understand anything of her engineering, and I try to gain back my reconciliation with Harry but he pulls back this time.

“Wait, Blue.” He whispers. “I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t touch you until you figure your shit out.”

Great. That could take years, genius.

It shouldn’t make me so frustrated. I remind myself of a dog in heat or one of those men that get mad when women reject them at bars. I frown and straighten my back so I sit farther away from him, but after a second I can’t take it anymore.

I stand up and without saying a word I make my way upstairs. Harry’s been all talkative to my family and ignoring me all night, they can show him to his room now or give him conversation. I don’t care anymore.

When I climb the stairs, I open the door to the balcony and make my way outside. It’s freezing out here before the mountains, so I turn on the heater and wrap one of the blankets on the basket between the couches around my body. Looking to the side, I can see my part of the balcony, the one that belongs to my room, and I remember last time I was here, when I sat there with Jason and we talked and talked about Harry and about Dylan and about the same fucking story once and again.

It was all for nothing. After all, it was all for nothing. I tortured myself with the thought that I was leaving Dylan behind, I looked at myself in the mirror and felt guilty and couldn’t recognize myself and all for what? All to be now sitting down all alone because the man who turned everything into a fucking mess doesn’t even want to touch me.

I hear the balcony door opening and my sister’s soft voice almost whispering she’s here and the next thing I hear are footsteps coming my way. The door closes and Harry stands beside me.

“It’s bloody freezing in here.”

I nod but don’t dare to look at him.

“Baby”

His tone sounds tired but the nickname makes my heart flutter. My eyes search his, desperately, and I think he’s done with giving me the hard look and the cold façade. I don’t like that Harry, that’s not him. Harry is kind and understanding and a good listener. He’s not harsh and hard and cold. That’s me.

“I think I’m acting like such a spoiled brat.” I confess. “You’re just giving me a taste of my own medicine and I don’t fucking like it. I didn’t really need you to show me how insufferable I am though. I already knew that.”

He sighs.

“Can we go somewhere alone and not freezing?” He asks. “We need to talk.”

I look into his eyes. He’s standing tall right next to the heater and I’m sitting down with my knees to my chest and the blanket around me. My heart is pounding on the back of my throat and I can feel my pulse on my brain.

“I love you.”

The words come out clean and clear, despite my nervousness, and my eyes don’t leave his until the weight of them fall upon us. That’s the first time I have ever said that to a man different than Dylan, that’s the first time I’ve meant those words in a romantic way after him. I can’t yet read him. He’s just looking at me and I don’t know whether on the inside he’s grinning or whether he’s about to cry.

“Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?” I am whispering now and I guess all my strength and my bravery have gone with those three words that got no answer.

“Is that why you said it?” He raises his eyebrows.

“No” I look down at my knees and think I’m about to cry “I said it because it’s true. I already wrote it down for you.”

He offers me his hand. I don’t understand his silence or why he is barely moving but I take his hand and he gives me a timid smile.

“Will you show us to your room?”

I leave the blanket a mess on the basket and walk with him towards my room. My dad played Miles Davis downstairs but I can still hear the fire and the keyboard of somebody’s laptop.

Once in my room, I take a deep breath and try not to think of what happened here before I met Harry. I try not to see Dylan on my bed, I try not to listen to his voice making fun of me for my decorations. Harry has a look around but he stands right there and he doesn’t move until I tell him he can.

“After your boyfriend passed away” he starts.

I feel my shoulders tensing and my breathing catching on my throat. No, no, no, no. I can feel his green eyes on me, studying me carefully, but I can’t look back at him.

“Did you go to therapy?”

I swallow. I don’t know why it is so hard to talk about this yet I manage to nod.

“How long for?”

“Two years.”

I see him nodding his head before he sighs. I guess he’s figuring out I’m actually really broken. I suppose if I hadn’t been to therapy, then he could hold onto that and he could say well she’s crazy now but she’ll get better but I bet after knowing I am actually the product of two years of therapy, he might give up.

“You said I wasn’t your second boyfriend. How long did you stay with him for?” I don’t answer. “How long ago was this?” He gives me some time to answer but I am still silent. “Why did you two break up?”

I am embarrassed to tell him and I don’t know why that’s even important. Javier is not something that bothers me. He’s in the past and I don’t think he has left any trauma in me and even if he did, Harry doesn’t have to worry about that. He is nothing like him and not even for a second have I doubted that.

“You’re not gonna speak?”

I want to fix things with him and I want to give him what he wants from me but I am embarrassed.

“Say something.”

“I don’t want to sleep here.”

The second I step out of the room, everything seems easier. I hear him taking a deep breath and sighing deeply before he follows me and when we enter the guest room in a second he’s behind me. His proximity covers my skin with goosebumps because I can feel his breathing against my ear shell and I can smell his scent and I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my mouth.

“When you found out about my shit you shut me out and I chased you day and night so you would let me explain. You were mad and, despite the way you treated me, I didn’t stop until I got you to listen to me because you’re important to me and I care. Now, you’re the one who’s hid something from me and instead of getting mad, I’m here, trying to get you to talk to me and you can’t even look me in the eyes.”

His proximity disappears as fast as it arrived and all he lets me se is his back as he sits down on the edge of the bed. I swallow and don’t know what to do. I look at him before my eyes set on our reflection on the glass of the window. He is looking down so he can’t see it but I can see us two and all of a sudden it’s like I know what to do.

Harry doesn’t deserve my silence. I owe him. I owe him a lot, even if he doesn’t know that, because in the last five months, I have laughed a lot more often and a lot harder and I have respected myself and I have actually wanted things. He gave that back to me and he deserves to see me, he deserves to know me and if after that he wants to leave, then I will take that but he will know who I really am.

I take a sit on the bed and cross my legs so my ankles hid underneath my thighs. I have never done this before outside of therapy and I don’t even know where to start. I take a deep breath.

“I met Dylan in this house when I was fifteen years old. Until then I had just been a posh spoiled girl like you thought I was when we met and, to be fair, I think if it hadn’t been for him, you would have been right on every stupid assumption you made about me that day in your kitchen.” I swallow.

“We started dating a year later but really I think I fell for him the very same night we met. I’ve had a… happy life. I mean before the accident. My childhood was good, my family never struggled and I was loved and wanted. I think I’ve always had everything I’ve wanted and still before I met Dylan I always felt like I was never in the right place. It was an uneasy feeling but I just never felt like I belonged anywhere. And then… He gave me that.

He didn’t think of me as a spoiled rich girl, he saw me and to him I was just… Indie. And he made me feel like the most interesting person in the world. I told him once when I was little my friends’ mothers wouldn’t let me play with Rio and the rest of the boys so I never learnt to climb a tree and he took me to his grandparents’ house and had me climbing to this huge tree on their backyard before he got the ladder down from his tree house.” I giggle nervously and hear Harry snorting a chuckle too.

He has turned around and is now staring at me and he’s silent but his body language has completely changed. I have his undivided attention.

“He was my first everything. My first love, my first boyfriend, my first best friend, my first time… And also my first fight, my first heartbreak and my first reconciliation and I guess… There was a part of me who wanted him to be the last too.”

I bit my bottom lip so it stops trembling and Harry patiently waits in silence until I get my voice back.

“When I left for Uni, he stayed in Capitol. His dad had cancer and his mum had to work so he decided to postpone Uni for a year or two until things got better. I admired him for that but then…” My eyes look away but now that I’ve started it’s like I can’t stop. “He changed. He became short-tempered and harsh and we started fighting a lot. I think he felt as if his life was stuck among cancer and poorly paid jobs while mine was moving forward and getting better and I was having fun when he was… I think he felt as if I have abandoned him and in a way, I…”

My face contorts and my throat closes on me to the point where my voice and my breath get stuck inside. I feel pain and guilt and embarrassment choking me and my eyes shut as hot, salty tears roll down my cheeks.

“I did.” I confess. “I was tired of being sad. Whenever I saw him, we ended up fighting and I saw my friends and everyone around me living their best lives and going to parties and I was just the girl with the sad boyfriend and I…” I shake my head. “I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.”

I take a deep breath.

“One day he came to see me and we had a fight and he left for hours. When he came back…” I lick my lips dry after all the talking. “He was high. That was the first time I saw him like that but then it all started to make sense: his mood-swings, his depression, his irritability… I tried helping him.” I wipe my tears and sob before I clear my throat. “I talked to his mum, to my parents, to his friends, to him… I asked for all the help I could get but… He wanted me to go with him to one of his new friends’ party. I didn’t like those people and I was trying to get him away from them because they all smoked and he wasn’t acting himself when he was around them…”

I swallow again but the lump in my throat is getting bigger and bigger and harder to swallow.

“So he went alone. I was in Grad. It was me who called him. I felt bad that I hadn’t gone with him to the party, even if they were the wrong crowd, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do to be there for him… And… He was driving.”

I dare to look at Harry then. His green eyes meet mine but I can’t take it. It’s hard enough to tell the story, doing it under such intense stare would be impossible.

“I lost it.” Even if I had wanted to look into his eyes, everything gets blurry before me now as a new army of tears rolls down my cheeks again. “I begged him to stop the car, I yelled at him, I… I even said if he didn’t then I’d break up with him.” I sob. “And he was mad and he yelled back and then… I heard the crash.”

I stop and my eyes set on the wall. Harry’s hand gently rests on my knee and it surprises me that my body doesn’t react to it. My mind wasn’t expecting that and yet my body seems to be so used to his touch, it didn’t flinch or even jump.

“The doctors said he died on the spot so the last thing he heard before dying was a threat.”

I look at him expecting to find the judgement on his eyes. Maybe he’s disgusted by me. Maybe he thinks I’m a terrible person and he doesn’t want to see me again. But all I find is pain and sorrow and love. I frown.

“I was depressed for six full months after that and when I started talking again, I started going to therapy. I wish I were dead too.” I admit.

I can see the pain flashing through his green eyes but he lets me talk. He doesn’t shush me or tells me don’t say that and I love him for that. He lets me say and he lets me feel and I know he didn’t want me dead but he gives me this moment, he gives me this silence, these words. He lets me owe them.

“And somehow I was; some part of me was. I thought I was never going to feel even remotely close to how I felt when he was with me. For years I felt like I didn’t want anything. I just did things, but I had no desires. I wasn’t hoping for anything or even trying anything… I was just waiting… And it might sound ungrateful or selfish but I honestly was just waiting for the day I die. I felt like some part of me was already dead. 

When I met Javier I wasn’t much better than that. It had been almost two years since Dylan’s accident and I guess I just wanted to feel something. We met at a club and fucked the same night and after that he was sweet at the beginning, I thought he was protective but really he was just jealous, possessive and controlling. He was… Bad. He was an abuser and he came across someone dead inside so he could do anything because I didn’t care and he did. He made me feel disgusting and fat and lazy and powerless but I guess in a way it was what I wanted. I have tortured myself for what happened to Dylan for years now. I feel guilty for not having been there for him enough… I guess part of me thought I deserved Javier to some extend… Until one day he tied me up to the headboard of the bed and left me there for three hours.”

Harry’s eyes horrified at that. His nostrils flare and his jaw clenches but he still doesn’t say anything. I swallow and go on.

“I was done with men when I met you but you…” My voice croaks but I want to tell him. I think this is the most important part. “You said I could have blue cheese” I chuckle nervously and so does he “and I… I wanted to see you.” I don’t know why I’m crying now but I feel salty tears on my mouth and my voice croaks all the time. “I hoped you would be in your coffee break when I went to the cafeteria. I mean at the beginning it was just… Orgasms.” He laughs. “But even then, I felt… Alive. I felt my heart beating and the air on my lungs and I felt my blood rushing through my veins and then it was all the time. You look at me and my pulse accelerates and when you’re close my breath gets stuck on my throat and I don’t know what to say and my skin gets covered in goosebumps and my stomach does somersaults…”

I have barely taken a breath while telling him all that but now he’s blushing and his lips can’t help the small smile and his dimple is out and for a moment I thought I would never make him smile like this ever again.

“So… I got scared.” I shrug. “I got scared that I was forgetting about Dylan. I didn’t want to leave him behind. You know, I’ve… I’ve never been able to go to his grave. I don’t think I can see his gravestone.” My voice breaks and Harry’s hand moves from my knee to my shoulder. “I don’t… I can’t remember his voice.” I sob. “I could hear him on tape but I think it would make me depressed again.” I let the lump in my throat win for a second before I fight it again. “I just want to be able to remember him without feeling my heart break into a million pieces. I mean how long does grieving take? It’s been three years and I can’t talk about him.”

“Come here.”

I let Harry pull me to him and in crying to him about Dylan I find a comfort I never thought possible. His hand carefully and lovingly rub my back and his lips press soft kisses against my hairline. I don’t know how long for he lets me cry but he only pulls away when I’m sniffing and my breathing has gone back to normal.

His green eyes investigate mine for long seconds before he takes a deep breath and speaks.

“I don’t know how to say what I want to tell you without sounding harsh.”

I purse my lips. I don’t know either but I get ready to hear it. I know this is too much. He already said I had to figure my shit out before I was in a relationship and he didn’t even know all this shit so now he’s gonna leave for good. I understand. I wouldn’t wanna be with me either.  

“When you were depressed, I suppose Coco was there for you, right?”

I nod but frown. I do not know where he’s going with this.

“Did that make you feel better?”

“Of course.”

“Did that heal you?”

I frown. I guess… Not. My doctor healed me, I healed me. Coco just loved me.

“You can’t love someone out of depression, Blue.” He states. “What happened to Dylan was a terrible accident and it’s normal that with accidents we always feel as if they could have been somehow prevented but that doesn’t help anyone.” He sighs. “Death is terrible but it’s also a part of life. We all have to die. Dylan was taken too soon and I can’t imagine what that felt like, baby… Really, I am amazed that you went through that and that you… survived that and came out this… Incredible.” His eyebrows raise on his forehead as his head shakes, as if he really was amazed. “And I am sorry for what I said to you. I wish I had known this sooner but I also wish I could take back the moment where I blamed you for your… Things. This is fucking hard and I wish I could tell you how long grieving takes but I don’t know, love. Yet you don’t have to do this alone.”

My heart restarts and my eyes search for the trap.

“You’re not going to leave?”

“Where?”

“I…” I shrug. “I thought this was going to scare you away.” I frown. “That you’d realize I have deep severe issues and you would just walk away.”

Harry frowns and it’s the first time a gesture of contradiction wakes butterflies up in my belly.

“Sometimes I don’t know who you take me for--.” He shakes his head. “I love you, Blue. And I want to see you happy. I love seeing you smile and laugh and I feel… Important when I make you laugh. You’re intelligent and kind and funny and mesmerising and beyond gorgeous and… So young, love. Why would I ever want to walk away from that?”

My eyes move frantically between his and I choose not to ask him whether he really thinks that. I decide I’ll try to believe him. He shakes his head. I think he can read my mind.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” He smirks. “Could you please tell me what would be of your friends without you? Do you think Mario and Olivia would be together if it wasn’t because of you? Do you think Marie would have dared to go out with Adam? And what would be of Jason? You helped him get out of an abusive relationship. Do you know how hard that is?”

I guess he’s right. I do contribute on The Golden Girls.

“And what about me?” He chuckles. “You make me not hate myself.”

His green eyes bore into mine after he said that and I know the nodding of his head is just a way to try and swallow the lump on his throat. I can see the tears he’s holding back now.

“Before I met you, I was just waiting too and now I want to live and I want to love you and you’re gonna let me.” He persuades me so I giggle.

“Promise me you’re gonna let me.” He whispers.

“I promise.” I smile.

He nods, satisfied with my answer, and we both stare at each other smiling despite all the emotions we just shared.

“I don’t know how long it’s gonna take for you to be able to remember Dylan without feeling your heart breaking... But what I do want you to know is that I don’t think you need to stop loving him to love me or anyone else.” He shrugs. “I mean... When I think about widows remarrying, I never think of it as a bad thing, I don’t think it means forgetting... It just means... Your heart is big enough to love twice.” He smirks. 

I let the tears roll down my cheeks and meet my lips. 

“I don’t know why I thought you’d... Like... Not understand.” I shake my head. “I thought you might even get jealous.” 

He frowns, like I was speaking some foreign language and it’s his little understanding that makes me smirk despite my tears. 

“Getting jealous of that is like... I’m afraid it’s literally sick.”

I even chuckle. 

“You’re strong and wonderful” he says “and I have no doubt you’ll get there. I hope it’s me the one you tell about Dylan without having your heart breaking too.” He smiles. 

My lips are curled into a timid smile but my head is shaking because there’s a part of me that’s beyond happy, there’s another part of me that’s heartbroken, there’s another part that can’t believe someone this kind can exist; and in the midst of all these feelings, my mind doesn’t have control over my body anymore. 

“I love you.” 

I let my lips hug every syllable and my heart own every word. Harry’s lips curl until he’s grinning and I think I’ll tell him I love him every morning if he’s going to look at me like that. 

I am not scared anymore. 

I feel liberated and I love this man in a way that makes my heart skip every second beat. For the first time in three years, I feel like there’s not a single part of me that’s not full of life and love and plans and hope and calm.

“I love you too. And now get ready because I’m going to kiss you.”

The air leaves my lungs through a desperate smile as his hands rest on the mattress next to my thighs and he gets closer to me.

“I’m ready.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles au #harry styles and reader #harry styles love #harry styles #harry styles new

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (3/10/2021)?

cheerfullynihilistic said: Comics this week (03/10/21)??

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: This week’s comics?

Anonymous said: Comics?

Anonymous said: 3/10 NCBD?

Non-Stop Spider-Man #1: The lead story was fun, the backup was dopey, I’ll give it another issue or two to see where it goes.

The Immortal Hulk #44: While it was too late for this week I’ve taken Hulk off my pull list, so the store won’t order any copies specifically for me and therefore my future purchase of the book won’t support Joe Bennett’s presence, just the store. This issue is typical of some of the books’ weaker installments of the last year or so - feels like well-done regular superhero comics instead of Immortal Hulk - but those last couple pages bring it back around.

Daredevil #28: Holy cow, those King In Black issues actually mattered. God this book is still so fuckin’ good in so many ways, everything every dumbass street-level superhero ‘deconstruction’ wants to be when it grows up.

Children of the Atom #1: Sucks real bad! This weird combo of ‘hip new young Marvel heroes!’ trappings and soulless X-Men lifer comics execution that feels certain to appeal to neither group.

Eternals #3: Of the listed Deviants I imagine I’d relate most to Annoyed Veug.

Commanders in Crisis #6: While I remain without the ability to weigh in on this objectively, this is the issue that to date most feels like it lives up to the promises of the series premiere.

The Wrong Earth: Night & Day #3: Little disappointed personally with the reveal of what the third world is - I assumed it was going to be more of a straight take ‘modern’ version to the other two’s flavors of throwbacks - but this series still rules. And that ending.

Home Sick Pilots #4: Okay, I think I can follow what’s happening at this point, still enjoying it.

Proctor Valley Road #1: I review these books in the order I present them to my dad since he likes DC/Marvel/Other to each be lumped together, but make no mistake: this is the last of the three Morrison books to read this week, because this is what comes next for them. A return to their roots - 70s kids way into music and dealing with the weird, girls adventure stories of the kind they apparently grew up reading - this feels like a refinement of their mid/late-00s Vertigo work in the same way they’ve been iterating on their superhero material for decades. The horror is sold excellently, whether by their own efforts or thanks to cowriter Alex Child this is their most fluid, ‘real’-sounding dialogue perhaps ever, and Franquiz with Bonvillain are instantly among their all-time best collaborators, perfectly capturing the shifting tone and character acting necessary to best put Morrison’s big ideas over in a way a number of their collaborators haven’t lived up to over the years (and speaking of the visuals, Jim Campbell does the lord’s work with that lettering trick near the end). Ritesh Babu and Sean Dillon have a lot more to say about the book and how it already acts as a darker, more honest take on your Stranger Things and the like as a commentary on its times, but I’m already loving to see this particular return down to Earth for Morrison and company and I’m glad to hear this is selling really well compared to their previous indie work.

Dead Dog’s Bite #1: This actually came out last week, but Ritesh recommended it so I figured it might be worth a look. A so far intensely low-key missing persons mystery with a touch of surreality around its edges, this already looks to be the best “look! A nine-panel grid! Fancy!” comic since Mister Miracle, really lived-in and emotional for as little happens in this debut. Very curious where it’s going.

Rorschach #6: I continue to like it.

Batman: Urban Legends #1: Glory be, a good Jason Todd comic - at last, you noble stubborn weirdoes living off of like six nonconsecutive panels all these years, you may lay down your burden. Not all you’d necessarily hope from Zdarsky tackling Gotham after what he’s been doing with Daredevil but rock-solid work regardless; the Harley story is fine, Outsiders is a letdown after Thomas’s shockingly good showing for them in Future State but it’s still fine, and the Grifter stuff is fun.

The Joker #1: I thought the advertised ‘a Joker story from Gordon’s POV’ angle was an interesting one even if I was concerned this book would in practice be pure editorial mandate, but in reality? Tynion has managed to pull the wool over DC’s eyes and do a full-on Jim Gordon book (one predicated with him being off the force to make it reasonably comfortable read in 2021) with Joker as the barest of pretexts to get it out the door and selling for as long as he wants to continue it. He even said in interviews that when the book was first pitched to him that his response was that a Joker solo book was a dumb unworkable idea until he had an idea for a ‘different way to approach it’, he knows exactly what he’s doing and I salute him. And it’s a darn good Gordon book even if the Punchline backup is predictably tepid, I’m in the tank for Gotham’s perpetual whipping boy dealing with weird noir international crime with Joker sort of hanging around in the background menacingly to justify the nominal premise.

Anonymous said: Hey, so I figure one random anon won’t change your mind, but like you I was disappointed by New Frontier’s immortal Wonder Woman, but I still got the new issue of Wonder Woman cause Wonder Woman at Valhalla still sounds great and I actually liked it! I think I’m gonna get at least the next issue, so there’s at least one recommendation for it

Wonder Woman #770: This combined with the store still putting it in my pile prompted me to give it a try after all, and whether because something here clicks better or if they’re simply not trying so hard without the pressure of doing a ‘final’ story for Diana, Cloonan and Conrad do in fact do substantially better on the main book than they did with Immortal Wonder Woman. Some fun, some fights, some mythology and intrigue, gorgeous landscapes and generous servings of beefcake from Travis Moore - this isn’t going to be sweeping the Eisners, but this is as enjoyable as a Wonder Woman comic has been in a good long time. My only concern is that the joyousness on display here might dissipate somewhat once Diana fully returns to herself, but in the meantime this was a very pleasant surprise (especially with the the Young Diana backup by Bellaire, Ganucheau, Goode, and Carey).

Superman #29: PKJ’s Superman thus far has been a story of overcoming initial worries of mine - in this case, my concern that he’d have a bad Scott Snyder-ey case of “if you’ve read the interviews you’ve pretty much already heard the dialogue of the comic verbatim”. In practice here most of what he’s had to say about these issues are distilled down really succinctly and poignantly in the midst of a fun little upper-atmosphere adventure portending something grimmer, and while I know it didn’t click with everyone I thought Phil Hester’s work here was a perfect accompaniment. The Tales of Metropolis backup wasn’t nearly as enjoyable, but hints at some interesting worldbuilding I’m hopeful will pay off in the main run.

The Green Lantern Season Two #12: The final Grant Morrison DC comic. One of two anyway, but if the next story I discuss is their broader final (non-Klaus, hopefully) statement on the superhero subgenre and a bridge to what they’re doing next, this is the one that’s about being The Final Grant Morrison DC Comic. A mélange of pretty much all their other DC finales into a shamelessly self-reflective meditation on the limits of what they can accomplish in shared universe storytelling where Green Lantern saves the universe through collective action and then fucks off to do his own thing elsewhere while the kids take over the ongoings. Weird and kinda perfect, and if nothing else this series took Liam Sharp from “really? This dude is drawing the last ever Morrison DC ongoing?” to “HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIAM SHARP”.

(The panel folks blew up over I think can be read multiple ways, but not in a ‘it’s open to interpretation!’ way so much as the storytelling/framing being unclear. I personally read it as ‘this is what neighbor versus neighbor looks like now’ rather than ‘calling someone a TERF or a Nazi is as bad as anything the other side does’, because oldster and out of touch though they may be I can’t see Morrison seriously saying that, especially after coming out.)

Wonder Woman Earth One Volume 3: At long last, after a hideous misfire kicking the series off and a second installment best described as ‘well, at least it wasn’t the first one’, this while not without elements I want to see femme and nonbinary critics discuss critically lives up to what you want to see out of ‘Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman’. Big utopian fiction breaking the typical boundaries of superhero stories with aplomb in implicit conversation with a ton of their previous work, a bridge from what they’ve done to what they’re doing next, it’s an imperfect (especially with Paquette’s art, which while gorgeous and majestic in the way this story demands really doesn’t living up to the ‘acting’ necessary here in a way thrown into sharp contrast by Franquiz in PVR) but shockingly passionate statement of intent - if the last two volumes felt like Morrison struggling to have something to say with Wonder Woman in the same way they did with Superman and Batman, this feels at the close like them at last finding in her a way to do everything left with the cape and tights crowd they wanted to but couldn’t manage anywhere else under the Big Two umbrella. Odd and lovely, a fine sendoff.

#Week's Comics #Opinion

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #436

from a couple days ago again; still don’t feel like rewriting any answers.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? I don't own any. Have you ever taken a close up shot of a flower? A hell of a lot; I love doing that. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yup. But I don't like hard alcohol and only really drink light fruity stuff, and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I got to the point I just really didn't want to drink anymore. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I have felt very, very hopeless with photography lately that sometimes I'm tempted. I don't think I will, but... it's hard. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? It's been months. Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes, actually. I helped Jason paint his shelf black. Do you have a favorite quote? No. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No, but I have thought about it. I just really don't have nearly enough popularity among the local photographers to feel like I really need to design one. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? YES. I loved it. Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multiplication times tables? ... no lmao Have you ever been severely burned? Not severely, no. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I actually have more than once. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? I think a turkey? Are you good at coming up with jokes? God no. Where do you prefer to sit when you catch the bus? When I used to ride home with Jason from school, we always sat way in the back. Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? No. I did when I was younger, though. I went through a loooong phase of sleeping with my iPod. If your parents... or anybody else... found your cell phone, would they be horrified at any of the messages in your inbox/outbox? No. Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you’re out for lunch or dinner? That's very rude. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard somebody say recently? Anti-vaccination bullshit from my stepmother. :^) Think about the last person you kissed - was it the very first time that you kissed them? No. When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? We never did. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? Nope. Who was the last person to call you? My psychiatrist. What food disgusts you the most? Things like sashimi and caviar. I also think rare meat like steak, especially when it's still bloody, is absolutely disgusting. I could go on and on about this, 'cuz I think a lot of food is really gross. One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? The jungle. Yikes. So many dangerous creatures, so claustrophobic, and with the canopy, I'd assume it'd be EXTREMELY dark. And it rains so much in the jungle, so it'd be hard to hear danger approaching. One thing that always creeps you out? Perhaps #1 is seeing an unborn baby move from outside their mother's stomach. I will fucking scream and want to puke. If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? SARA!!!!!!!!! Omfg I'd LOVE to have her as my roommate. We've actually talked about the possibility, but that's nowhere near set in stone. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? In light of recent events, a high contender is shit like "vaccines cause autism." Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die? I'd strongly prefer to be cremated. What is your favorite food around the holidays? Spiral honey ham, for one. I love Christmas treats like chocolate-covered peanuts, fudge, cookies, etc. etc... Tell me about the greatest prank you’ve ever pulled? I don't pull pranks. If you could have the power to cast any kind of spell, what kind of spell would you cast? Maybe enchanting the human population to not be such violent and hateful fucks??? Have you ever gotten a flu vaccination? Only for Covid. Double dates: a do or don’t? They are SO fun, but I do feel like it's good to have individual ones, too. Do you know any guitarists? Yes. My old friend Tommy actually plays the electric guitar in a band, and Juan was really good at it, too. How do you feel about full-length beards? They look good on some people. It varies with everyone. Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? Not currently. My half-sister stopped talking to me many years ago when I was a homophobic fuck, and I don't blame her. We're perfectly cool now! Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? omg no Does/did your high school have pop machines? Yes. Have you ever gambled? Nah. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I am NEVER working retail again. I can't handle it. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman. :') Have you ever stringed green beans before? Yes, actually, with Colleen's in-laws. They had a big garden that I helped tend to sometimes. I absolutely hated it with how sweaty I got even then, it was WAY too hot, and my body was also weak back then to where bending down was extremely painful. I just never wanted to say no. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? No. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? It really depends on what I feel like doing, but I think playing World of Warcraft tempts me most often when I'm unbearably bored. What did you watch today? I've just been rewatching Mortem3r play Monster Hunter World. That game looks soooo fun, I wanna try it. ;-; True or False: Yoshi is the cutest dinosaur ever? No. I adore dinosaurs and dinosaur media, so I could name a lot if I thought long enough. Who is the last person you spent money on? My niece. I still feel awful I didn't buy Ryder a gift by myself; I just could NOT decide what to get him. I'm very thankful that Mom let me use one she got him as "mine." They were bright, light-up golf balls, and he loooooved them. What is your relationship like with various members of your family? I have a biiig extended family, man, so I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I am EXTREMELY close to my mom, like there is no way I'd be alive without her, and her support for me seems endless somehow. I love my dad very much too, but I don't see him nearly as much as I wish I did. He tries to support me however he's capable, and he always lets me know that he's there if I need him for anything. I love, am very proud of, and look up to my two sisters, but I'm also very envious of them and how they are successful adults with direction and big accomplishments. We are very different, so we have difficulty with really bonding and talking about things regularly, and it really makes me feel like a terrible sister. My nieces and nephew are absolute diamonds to me, and I'm especially close to Ash's oldest daughter Aubree. She and I are very similar in a lot of areas, so I really relate to her, even in her young age. Ryder really seems to like me, and I love that little rascal, too. :') My youngest niece Emerson is still only a baby, so she can't really communicate in words yet, but she is still a beautiful darling that I'd protect with my life in not even a blink. That covers who I consider my "immediate" family, really, at least that I see regularly. What’s something you disagree with about the way you were raised? I am very firmly against spanking, but my parents did it. I think since Ash's kids were born though, Mom's opinion changed on it. It was around that time, I know. She won't lay a hand on them. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? I have no clue, actually. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? *shrug* The last time you were in a car, who was driving? My mom. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? Never tried. What countries have you been to? I've never left the U.S. Honestly, is that car insured? I don't have my own car. What do you think about gay marriage? I vigorously support it. Do you like Carrie Underwood? I actually do. She has a beautiful voice. How far away do you live from your parents? I live with my mom. Idk how far I am from Dad, really... but not THAT far. How do you like your steak cooked? Medium well. Have you ever been to Mount Rushmore? No, and I don't want to. It is absolute vandalism. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)? Chicago blew me away, but I think it's just because it was SO foreign to me. I actually don't like cities very much, but for a brief visit, I thought it was very cool. Do you believe places can really be haunted? Yes. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills? No. I took anti-depressants for I think most of my life, and they did nothing for me. Come to learn from the doctor who actually set my meds straight that anti-depressants for people with bipolarity do nothing but aggravate the symptoms of bipolarity, and I was living evidence. I take mood stabilizers for said disorder instead. I don't take sleeping pills; none seem to work for me. What’s your favourite brand of peanut butter? Maybe Skippy? Idk, I'm not very picky with pb. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. How many languages can you recite the alphabet in? Two. Do you like Bob Marley? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I can't stand his voice. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah, but I'm not a fan. Buffets gross me out. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We very rarely sit at the table. Have you been working hard to achieve something lately? If not, what was the last thing you worked hard to achieve? Losing weight, yes. I am honestly trying so hard at the gym, like to the point I've almost fallen many times as well as been overtaken by incredible nausea a lot. I don't feel like I'm over-working, necessarily, just working my ass off. Do you use ice cubes in your fountain drinks? No, because it waters the drink down and I hate it. Would you ever want your very own library, or do you not read enough for it to be worth it? No. I don't read nearly enough, and besides, can you imagine all the dust? What site did you originally start doing surveys on? I actually don't know... Have you ever used something other than water to make ice cubes? What did you do with them? I've actually never thought to do that. Would you ever willingly experience life temporarily without sight, hearing, or any of your other senses, simply to know what it is like? Fuck no. I would go insane. In what ways are you very judgmental? I'll judge the fuck out of rapists, child molesters, pedophiles, people like that with no goddamn shame. But your average person, I try not to judge very much. What is your main problem in life right now? It's hard to determine my main problem, honestly. There are a lot of issues going on in my life that've just piled up into one big tangled mess. Do your “favourites” change often? Definitely not. I've had the same favorites in so many topics for forever. Have you ever read a biography on someone? I've read Ozzy's autobiography, and I also read the Some Kind of Monster Metallica book, which was written by I want to say St. Anger's musical director? This was a very long time ago, and honestly, I thought it was pretty boring, so my memory is faint. You learned quite a bit about the band in his time with them, but damn, I don't care about the musical director al;skdfal;we. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Not to my knowledge. I have an acquaintance who's had minor acting roles, but I don't believe she's ever been in a film. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? I want to say around two years ago (probably less) when we got my cat neutered. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions

[dobrikburrito]

good idea, d.d.

words: 2.9k

requested by anonymous

While having a sit and film session with the VS, the topic of the reader's sex life comes up. And everybody find out that its been a hot, HOT minute since the reader's had so good dick. So someone jokingly suggests that her and David have a lil romp session. At first they refuse but after a few weeks David shoots the reader a text saying he's got a lil surprise for her 

disclaimer: it’s smut sis. (thank you @daviddoughbrik for being an angel and giving me the best advice ever so I could finish this piece, you’re the best ♥)

I was comfortable sitting on the lovesac in David’s living room, laughing at the nonsense conversation that my friends were having. Most of us were there, soon to leave for Kristen’s surprise birthday party. I absolutely loved when we were all reunited like this. With their busy schedules and meetings, it’s been hard to get everyone together at once. David was obviously filming everything, hoping for a good bit for the vlogs.

“Oh, wait a minute.” Zane said, loudly. Everyone stopped talking and turned their attention to him. “How many broken relationships do we have? Like as a group? There’s obviously David and Liza, Jeff and Cierra, Todd and Corina and… Oh! (Y/N) and Justin.”

“Damn, there’s been some home-wreck.” Erin said, laughing.

“But like… First was David, then (Y/N), then… Jeff and then Todd?” Carly asked, curious about the order.

David pointed his camera at me, “Yeah, I think so. Justin and I broke up a month after David and Liza. Even though they told us three months later.” I confirmed.

“It’s funny how all those break-ups have been bad.” Heath commented.

“Mine wasn’t.” David pointed the camera to Heath, shrugging.

“I don’t mean like it was a fight or cheating break up. I just meant it was hard. Like you and Liza were the perfect couple and that was tough.” Heath explained himself, everybody looking at him. “Then (Y/N) and Justin were also this role-model couple…”

“Yeah, but my break-up was shit.” I said, everybody immediately laughed. I smiled, not really caring for it. “Thankfully that ship has sailed.”

“Would you get back with him?” Todd asked, looking up at me, since he was just sitting on the floor beside the lovesac.

“Fuck, no.” I laughed and so did he.

“I don’t think I would either.” Todd commented.

“That’s easy for you to say, you have a new girlfriend and it’s getting some nearly every day of the week.” Zane shaded, everybody laughed loudly.

“And you’re so not subtle about it either,” I laughed, poking Todd with my foot. “If I had a dollar for every fucking time I walk into Todd’s house and I find him post-sex. I’d be richer than David.”

Everybody laughed so hard, Todd grabbed my foot and I screamed, playfully.

Todd pointed at me, “Hey, don’t hate on my sex life just because you haven’t put out since your break up.”

My face fell straight to the floor. I was shocked. He-did-not.

“Oh my God, she’s so pissed. So, is it true (Y/N)?” Zane loved to raise the fire in the room.

“Uh… No! I mean… I’m not like you guys, I can’t just pick up hot guys at parties and have one night stands.” I shrugged, clearly embarrassed and not even looking at anybody. “I hate that shit. I hate having sex with someone I don’t know at all.”

“Oh hooooney.” Heath made his way towards me and hugged me. “It’s okay, you just gotta dust off that pussy a little and we’ll get you a cute date.”

I immediately slapped Heath’s arm. “Oh my GOD, I hate all of you! Fuck off Heath!” Even though I hated how the topic was on me not getting absolutely any for a while now, I couldn’t help but laugh at Heath. David’s camera was focused on me, of course. It would definitely end up in the vlogs.

Heath kissed my head. “No, but really like… We’re throwing shade on you, but David also haven’t slept with anyone in a HOT MINUTE.”

“What the fuck?” David asked, everybody laughed.

“It’s so true though. Especially since Jeff painted his room, that’s for sure a no-sex zone.” Matt commented, everybody laughed.

“Fuck you guys,” David laughed, out loud. “You don’t know shit!”

“So, you’re having sex in that room with your ex-girlfriend and Jason Momoa looking down on you?” Todd asked. David took a second to answer, which was enough for everybody to start screaming.

“Hey hey hey, this is a two-birds-one-stone idea. Since you both haven’t seen anyone naked in months, why don’t you just fuck around for a bit? You know, friends with benefits and all that.” Zane suggested, everybody started commenting how that was such a great idea.

You took one look at David and you both crumbled in embarrassment.

“Why do I hang out with you guys?” I shook my head, hiding my face on the lovesac, fake crying.

“Oh come on, (Y/N). Don’t tell us you’ve never fantasized about David?” Heath was absolutely loving this.

“What the fuck Heath? No!!” I blatantly lied.

“Oh bitch, I do not need a lie detector to see how much bullshit that was.” Zane sassied me.

Happily, it was time for everybody to leave for the party. The embarrassment didn’t leave me alone through the whole night, though. Every time I interacted with David, there was something in there, a tension of sorts. My friendship with David was always based on trusting each other and being best friends, not anywhere related to sex. I did lied about not fantasizing about him, I’ve had my fair share, but never thought for a second to mention it.

A couple of weeks went by and that awkward moment seemed to dissipate, especially between David and I. One night, we all went out to have dinner together. David sat by my side and we kept chatting with our friends.

Once we were all focused on Scotty’s story about a crazy fan in one of his concerts, David smoothly rested his right hand on my left thigh. It was under the table, so no one could really see it. The sudden move caught me off guard, especially because it wasn’t an accident. The hand stood on my leg. I could feel the warmth of his skin on my skin, since I was wearing a white skirt.

I had no idea of how to react to this. To others, nothing was happening, as I tried to keep it cool, but I couldn’t lie to myself and say I wasn’t enjoying it. I absolutely loved his hands, and I took a moment to admire them, with the Cartier double rings. As the conversation went by, I tried to joke around as usual, but it was so hard for me to keep a straight face as David would occasionally caress my skin with his thumb or press his hand on my thigh. The secrecy to it was making me really wet.

One of us paid the check, as it was the joke of the vlogs now. We all got up to leave, and before I could say anything, David turned to me:

“Do you want a ride home?” David asked me, like nothing happened. “I’m taking Zane, Heath and Mariah.”

“Oh… Yeah, okay, cool. Thanks.” I smiled at him and Zane hugged me.

“Cool, get on the front sit then.” That was an unusual request, basically because I barely ever sat in the front seat of the Tesla.

I accepted and we all kept joking around during the way to our houses, since David was also filming the car ride.

“You look so cute tonight, (Y/N),” Zane said, joking around and tickling my neck. I laughed. “I love your little outfit. Looks cute as hell.”

“Aw, thanks boo.” I looked back at him. ���You look like your usual goddess too.”

“Aw, you get me.” Zane threw an invisible long hair around and I laughed.

“I agree,” David commented, looking straight at the road. I looked at him, shocked. As I was about to thank him, he said. “Zane looks like a goddess tonight.” Everybody laughed and I rolled my eyes.

We said our goodbyes to all three of our friends, since my house was the one further away. David filmed for a few more minutes, since one of our favorite songs came on the radio and we always sing together, acting stupid. When the song ended, we were just laughing and he turned the camera off. “That’s enough for today.”

I nodded, looking outside of the window. I could feel his eyes on me, though. I pretended not to notice, until his hand rested on my thigh once again. I immediately looked at it and then at him, who conveniently looked down the road. Only now, his hand was coming up my thigh and my skin was burning.

I wanted to confront him, since this wasn’t like him at all, but I also… wanted to see where it would go? David made a turn on a street and as I looked out, I noticed this wasn’t the way to my house at all. We reached his gate and it opened.

I knew Natalie was travelling, the house would be empty, so I immediately got chills all over my body. It was like a silent agreement, until he parked the car. We stood there for a second and David unlocked his seat belt, then did mine.

I broke the deadly silence. “Mm… Care to explain?” I looked at him and he looked back at me.

David leaned towards me on the car, touching my neck with his left hand. He looked down on my lips and bit his bottom lip. “I just wanted to try one thing,”

I could hear my heart beating a hundred miles per hour, but I didn’t stop when David leaned in and kissed me. At first, softly and caring, but as I returned the kiss a little more craving, I seemed to motivate him to take it a step further. Licking my lips, I opened my mouth to him and felt his tongue touching mine. My hand found his hair, which I absolutely loved playing with. His hand left my neck to go back to my inner thigh.

David stopped the kiss for a second, breathless. He opened his eyes, but kept them focusing on my lips and then my eyes. He licked his lips and I sighed, wanting him so much.

“Remember that time when… Mm… Zane said that maybe you and I should try the whole…” David started saying.

“Friends with benefits?” I completed his sentence.

“Something like that, yeah.” David took a deep breath when I bit my bottom lip. “What… What do you say?”

I just kissed him back, bringing him closer to me.

We entered his house, all the lights were out, only the neon sign was on. David was holding my hand, leading me towards the white couch. He sat down, looking up at me, waiting for me to sit by his side. Instead, I sat on his lap, straddling him. He took one moment to look at me, really look at me. Both of his hands were on my thighs, caressing my skin, as he took in all of me.

Taking a deep breath, David looked in my eyes. “You know… I don’t usually do this, you might have noticed.” His voice was low, even though we were the only ones at the house. “But I have to be honest… I couldn’t stop thinking about it since that conversation happened.”

I bit my lip, holding back a smile. My fingers entwined in his brown shiny locks. “I don’t know why, but it just feels... “ I looked back at him. “...right.”

One of his hands held me by the waist, the other touched my face, pulling me close enough to kiss him again. One soft kiss, enough for me to feel how soft his lips were and how intently he kissed. I took one second to breathe, looking at his lips, then I kissed him again, wanting more, wanting him. My kiss was deeper, hungry even. I leaned over him as he fully rested on the back of the couch. His tongue on mine, enjoying every second of it.

My hips started rocking back and forth, which granted me a hard grab on my waist. David followed my movements, motivating me further on. His kisses followed to my cheek and neck, where he bit and licked. I pressed my fingers in his hair, loving it. I could feel him hard as a rock in a second. Both of us were really turned on, so I didn’t waste time and took off my shirt and his as well. David took that as an invitation to descend his kisses to my breasts. Me, on the other hand, unbuttoned his jeans and took his length in my hand, pressing firmly and freeing him from the fabric. I started pumping him, slowly, teasing.

“Stop teasing me,” He bit the skin on top of my left boob.

“Oh, where’s the fun in that?” I smiled to myself, knowing the effect my actions were having on him. I started stroking him a little faster, taking my time around the tip to stimulate him. David closed his eyes and took a deep breath, resting his forehead in my chest.

Suddenly, he turned on the couch, rapidly laying me down and being on top of me, kissing me back again. He managed to take my skirt and panties off before I could even process. Kissing my stomach and going down, it was my turn to take a deep breath. David kissed my thighs and leg, before opening me up and sliding his fingers, feeling how wet I was. I moaned when I felt two of his fingers inside of me, sliding in and out, but a louder one came when I felt his warm tongue on my clit. David started eating me out with so much desire and will, that I knew this pleasured him almost as much as it did me. His tongue was moving on my folds, knowingly, hitting the right spots, making me almost scream his name. Never in a million years I’d thought of David as someone who was this good at giving head.

He stopped for a second to look at me, keeping the movement of his fingers inside of me, absolutely enjoying the view. My face expressions and the way my body reacted so instantly to everything he did was enough for him to start stroking himself. “God, you’re so fucking hot… And the way you moan like that… Fuck.”

I smiled to myself, loving his praise. David went down on me again, taking as much as he could. “David… Dave, I’m… I’m gonna” I tried to warn him.

He just looked at me with a satisfied grin on his face. “Then give it to me, baby.” And then proceeded to continue his movements, with his hand and tongue.

That was enough for me to crumble, which earned a loud moan and a fast heartbeat, as David  never stopped what he was doing. “So pretty.”

I opened my eyes to his comment, watching him come over to me, kissing me again quickly, soon to give me his fingers to suck on, which I gladly obeyed, looking straight up at him.

“Mm... Fuck.” I could hear him curse under his breath.

David took his dick in his hand and slid it over my clit. I could sense his desire and need through his eyes and sighs. I pulled him closer to an intense kiss, holding him tight. Until I stopped the kiss and whispered to his ear. “I wanna feel you inside of me, David. I want you to fuck me, make me go insane.”

Those words were exactly what he needed to pull down his pants and position himself in my entrance, only to then slowly thrust inside me, giving me a second to adjust to his size and feel him completely inside of me. David was holding himself up on top of me, with each hand on one side of my head, then he started moving. Gradually going faster and deeper, pushing into me, making me moan, breathless. Coming down to kiss me lightly, he rested his forehead on mine, as it we were going faster and faster. His name was the only thing coming out of my mouth.

“You feel so good, so tight.” He looked down on me, biting his lower lip, feeling so much pleasure out of this.

I could feel myself getting close, feeling a rise out of his movements and our bodies together. Barely able to form proper sentences, I looked up at him. “David…” I didn’t have to say much more than that, one look at me and he knew.

“Me too,” David nodded, focusing on his movements and the rising pleasure that was taking over his body. I cursed as I reached my own orgasm, moaning loud, feeling the pressure inside of me. He watched me achieve it and felt it too, which gave him the last push he needed to achieve his own climax.

A couple more thrusts and he lied on top of me, breathless, exhausted, but highly satisfied.

“Holy shit,” David said, taking a deep breath while recovering his energies. “That was incredible.”

I couldn’t help but smile and feel the same way. “I gotta say, this wasn’t how I pictured my night going at all, but…” I pecked his lips for a couple of seconds before finishing my sentence. “This is so much better.”

David chuckled while looking at me, taking my face in his hand. “For once Zane had a really good idea.”

“We should send him a gift basket or something,” I smiled widely while looking at David.

“I’ll just give him a car,” David and I laughed and then he kissed me again.

#david dobrik #david #dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik smut #david dobrik fluff #david dobrik ff #david dobrik fic #vlogsquad #vlog squad #smut #vlog squad smut #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines

[minetteenfers]

Gonna sneak peak you all the first chapter of this novel I’m working on because I’m having too much fun with it. lol

Until I Found You Excerpt:(I don’t think I need to preface this, but it’s an adult romance novel. You’ve been warned. LOL)

Tags: ABO, primalkink, werewolves, werewolf/human romance, contemporary romance, cursing, drinking

Chapter 1: Thaniel

 I sat in my oxblood leather armchair in front of my stone fireplace, swirling my glass of whiskey in my hand.  I always liked to look presentable. I was the Alpha, the top man in my pack and I couldn’t look to be anything but. Not that I really took my title seriously. I didn’t ask to be cursed by a damn vexing woman. She had played me, dragged me in and made me fall until she could put something in my drink. Most of us are here because of some sort of magic. Some corrupted witches that decided to not play fair. Some might call them selkies or sirens, we just call them vexing women. And mine played me hard. 

I knew what my best attributes were and what my worst ones were, but it varied depending on the woman in my bed. One thing I knew for sure, I had a massive primal kink that could strangle a city. Most women found me to be terrifying, but a few were into it. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t control my urge to growl and pin a bitch to a bed. My urges to run my nose along their neck and take in their scent points behind their earlobes like a starved man that hadn’t partaken in his darkest vice. I craved it, needed it, but I wasn’t down for finding a mate. I enjoyed being alone. I enjoyed not having to worry about someone else. I just wanted to break my damn curse and not have to live this life. But everyone in this lifestyle knew one thing, there was no breaking it. Once a wolf? Always a wolf. You were a part of the pack until the day you were put in the damn ground like some forgotten sad soul. I was trapped. Trapped to become a wolf until the day I died and who knew how fucking long that would take.

 I cleared my throat and focused on the crackling fire. I had been told that I had to find an Omega soon, but I hadn’t come across one that I liked. I had been to many parties, all fancy, but I had never found her. I had never found the right mate, not that I wanted to. Like I said, I lived for being alone and fucking whatever and whoever my heart desired. Fuck the other shit.  

 Daniel Thate, my Beta best friend and right-hand man, had been giving me shit for years about it. It wasn’t like it was my fault that women were scared of me. Most of them that is.

I sighed and a corner of my lips curled up to showcase a fang as I brought my glass of whiskey to my lips, taking a long sip. My fangs ached to sink into a woman’s neck, but I wasn’t in the mood to hunt.

I honestly don’t know what it is about me that is so intimidating. I mean I am a tall man and I have broad shoulders, and maybe I am a bit overly muscular, but I am a good man. A damn fine man if you ask me. But sometimes the outside outweighed the inside. If I’m honest, I’m lonely. I want to settle down and have a few kids. I’m thirty and by now most of my friends have settled down with a couple kids under their belt. And all I have to say for thirty is a lavish home and this damn glass of whiskey that is currently in my hand. God damnit.

“Hey, are you heading to this party with me over at Evie’s?” Daniel barged into the room and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.

He was slightly less muscular and shorter than I. His medium toned brown hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and his shirt was a crimson red. His black leather pants had crisscrossing leather along the sides of them and his black ankle boots were loose.

“I’m serious, man. You need to come out sometime. Evie has some hot friends. I’m sure you’ll find your Omega there.” Daniel smiled at me with this shit-eating grin that only showcased how hard he was trying to get my ass out there in the playing field with him, even though the damn bastard was taken.  I set my jaw and quietly growled as I brought my whiskey up to finish it. “C’mon man, don’t leave me hanging like last time…”

I sighed and threw my glass into the fire, causing it to flare up and shatter. I lacked all fucks at the moment. If he wanted me to go, fuck it, I’d go. I’d prove him wrong. No woman would really want to settle down with me. Fuck me? Sure. Settle down? Hell no. I was the type you took home to fuck, not bring home to your mother. I brought the black military styled boot that was resting on my thigh to the ground, as I grabbed onto the arms of the chair and pushed myself up to stand.

“Fuck it. You want me to go, I’ll go.” I walked out of the room and heard Daniel follow me out of the room.

“Thaniel. You’re gonna meet the right Omega. I’m telling you. Just give it time.” Daniel continued to follow me and while I loved the little shit, he annoyed me to death.

“I’m just going to humor you.” I sighed and got to my car, unlocking it with the key fob. “What club is it at?”

“Barbed Rose on Eve’s Street.” Daniel climbed into the passenger side and I slammed the car into gear. “You really think that no woman is gonna want that amazing body of yours? How many women you take home on the daily?”

I growled at him. It didn’t matter how many were in my damn bed. Not one single one wanted to fucking stay with my ass. It always ended in the girl leaving because I meant so little other than a quick railing.

“Who’s all going to be there?” I tried to focus on the road and not on my best friend, who was too excited for me to go to some party. I partially wondered if he had planned something for me there to surprise my ass. I hated surprises.

“Oh, ya know… the usual. Evie, Diane, Vix, Jason, Mike, Christian, more. The whole pack and their Chosens.” Daniel shrugged and I nearly slammed his face into the dash when I hit the break.

“Christian?” I hated him, absolutely despised the man. He was the biggest asshole of them all. One of those men that used women and felt they were his property.

“Chill. He won’t be trouble. He gave up on that years ago.” Daniel tried to calm me down, not that he could.

“To hell he won’t be. The man wreaks fucking trouble. Prove me wrong!” I shouted and pulled up to the valet parking at the club. “His ass so much as causes a scene among the human public so help me god.”

“Don’t worry, big shot. Jesus. Evie bought out the damn club. No humans will be within a twenty-mile radius tonight.” Daniel rolled his eyes at me and touched my forearm that wouldn’t stop flexing. The veins pressing against my skin about to bust.

“You better not be lying to me.” I growled through my clenched teeth, showing off my fangs and wolf-like golden eyes.

“Shit you not, man.” Daniel raised his hands in the air and my eyes shifted back to their normal warm brown color.

“I’m trusting you. One fuck up by Christian and I’m out.” I shoved my thumb over my shoulder with a jabbing motion.

That man was the worst Alpha to exist in our pack and I hated him with a fucking passion. The man could roast in fucking flames in the underworld with Hades for all I cared. He was sadistic and cruel. No bone in my body can appreciate a man that doesn’t appreciate a woman. Human or not.

I tossed my key to the valet and walked up to the club, adjusting my black silk button-down shirt’s rolled sleeves. I didn’t know why I had fucking decided to go here. Why did I want to be subjected to this? The bouncer at the front door was a friend of ours and Daniel fist bumped him before entering the joint. I gave the man a quick nod before getting engulfed by loud club music that bumped and vibrated off the walls.

“Sugar, you made it!” Evie ran up to her husband in six-inch heels that had my mind wandering how many surfaces they fucked on with them.

I shook my head and sighed, ignoring how my best friend gathered her up into his arms and made out with her like there was nothing better to do. Like I wasn’t in the damn room. I took my leave and made my way over to the bar, a place that I’d rather be. Drinking always made me feel better and made these parties more bearable.

I had barely gotten my beer in my hand before a hand clapped onto my back. I nearly spilled my drink as I jumped from the interaction with an unknown presence.

“Hey, how ya been, mate?” I recognized Jason’s voice with ease. He was from Australia and had been a resident for a few years now.

“Fine. Don’t you have something better to do than give me small talk?” I lifted my beer to my lips and took a swallow of it.

“Look, mate, I haven’t seen ya in ages. You don’t come out much.” He tapped the bar and ordered a dark lager.

“Not really my thing.” I shrugged and took another sip from my beer. It wasn’t as good as it could have been. I should have ordered something stronger.

“Yeah well, we missed ya.” Jason knocked his beer against mine before walking away.

It wasn’t until I heard a commotion behind me that I really cared about what was going on around me. I had barely even listened to Evie’s speech or to any of the other Omegas that had walked up to me. I was lost in my own thoughts about what I was even doing there. Why I was there. I could be sitting at home playing a game or watching TV.  But one thing I could not ignore was the sounds of a woman struggling behind me. It was then that I knew I was going to get my ass in trouble.

“Let go of me! I’m not some plaything to be had!” A female voice echoed past the crowd of people talking and drinking, filling my ears with her voice alone.

It wasn’t a tone that I wanted to hear tonight. It wasn’t even something I wanted to ever hear. It was a woman in distress and the voice that accompanied it was one that I really, really, hoped wouldn’t be connected to it.

“C’mon, baby girl, let me show you what a real Alpha can do. You don’t know what it’s really like until you been in bed with an Alpha male.”

Changed his old ways my ass. Christian Alpine, the one and only asshole. A man that closely resembled a damn monster rather than a man. He was no Alpha male; he was an abomination. A mistake that deserved to be cursed. He had practically begged for the damn bitch to curse him. No normal, decent human would beg for a vexed woman to curse them.

“I don’t want you. I didn’t even want to come to this damn thing. You dragged me here against my will like you- like you owned me!” The woman struggled and tugged on the chain that was connected to a metal collar around her neck.

I wasn’t having this shit. I could just walk out right now like I had planned. I told my fucking best friend I’d walk if Christian pulled this bullshit again, but he had told me he had changed. Lies! The man was right there, tugging a woman around by a fucking collar and leash against her will. He had defiled a beautiful thing. A collar was meant to be something special. Something that meant commitment in some cases. A sentiment of love and respect. A symbol of something more. Not what he was using it for.

I sniffed the air and one word fell into my mind. Human.

 Two of the songs on the playlist:

#primalkink #abo #werewolf #werewolf/humanromance #romancenovel #novel #books #WIP #chapter 1 #Until I Found You

[chezgender]

Permission

Hello everyone!

This fic is inspired by Angst prompt 5 of this post:  “My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.” The amazing @saint-of-los-angeles helped me with it and if you haven’t, go check her works because she’s amazing!

Pairing: Nikki x Tommy, Terrorcest Warnings: mention of drugs and lots of angst 

Summary: It’s Tommy’s wedding and Nikki has to cope with the idea of losing the love of his life.

Tommy's wedding was, indeed, supposed to be a day of celebration.

But what's the point of celebrating the loss of the person you love the most in the world?

All dressed in white, Tommy Lee looked like the most beautiful creature Sixx had ever seen, an angel sent straight from heaven just for Nikki. Nikki knew every single inch of the skin underneath those clothes, the tattoos he loved to trace, the taste of the salt on Tommy's body. He knew the shades of Tommy's voice, the way they changed when he smiled, or when he cried. 

Despite all of this, Nikki was there, in a stupid black and white tux that he hated, looking at his life-long love marrying another person.

It was no wonder he had injected all the shit that he could into his veins. He was outright wasted, devastated for a lack of a better term, and it was such a miserable scene.

He couldn't even fake happiness for Tommy, even though he should have.

Luckily the ceremony was over, everyone out there was having the time of their life, especially Tommy and Heather, flashing smiles like never before. 

Nikki, instead, was sitting on the cold tiles the bathroom in the huge, painfully clean bathroom. The bassist felt like nothing more than a spot of dirt in there, he felt out of place in every sense of the word. He had barely managed to take a breath before another violent shiver hit him to the core, and he gagged again, his hand desperately gripping the toilet seat. He felt like shit, he knew he had done entirely too much, but no matter how hard he tried, the bassist could think of no other way of making it through that dreadful ceremony.

He could barely hear the knocking at the door through the ringing in his ears, and just let out a weak grunt, hoping the person would take the hint and go away. He grunted louder at the sound of a jiggling door handle as someone tried to open the door, and said a silent prayer of thanks that he at least had enough sense to lock the door. 

Soon enough he was alone again, and focused on the goal of feeling at least slightly better than he currently was, pleading silently with his stomach to just stop lurching. 

His pleas fell on dead ears, of course, as his body kept violently rejecting the goddamn drugs that were supposed to make him feel better, to help him get through this day. This was hell.

His skin was on fire, he felt himself sweating despite the constant chills and shivers that were making him shake like a leaf, and his throat was  burning and raw.

"Nikki? Nikki, are you in there? Open the goddamn door!" a desperate, shaking voice cried out from the other side of the door, a voice Nikki would know anywhere.  

There was Tommy, on the other side of the wooden barrier, with his forehead leaning on the door and wet eyes hidden by his long curls. His shaking hand held the handle in a life-like grip, he would've broken it if he had to. Luckily there was no one around, he had left the party with a poor excuse since Nikki was nowhere to be seen, and Tommy always worried about the bassist.

In the end Sixx opened the door, barely able to stand on his feet, looking dejected and broken, but somehow still beautiful despite the messed up hair, black eyeliner tracks down his cheeks, and the smell of vomit lingering in the air. He would always be beautiful to Tommy.

Tommy hugged him, trying to ignore the feeling of his bones through the clothes. He had lost so much weight since heroin became part of his daily routine. "Nikki... thank fucking god you're alive." He whispered, and felt the bassist shake in his arms. He closed the door and let Nikki sit again, only to follow him. 

"How are you feeling?"

"I love you, you know that right?" Nikki whispered, and Tommy noticed he was barely holding back more fucking tears. "I want to be happy for you, you found love, you found all you were looking for with her…" Tommy remained silent, looking at the ground, unable to say anything. He knew what Nikki was going to say. "So yeah, I'm good really. I might have just.. overdone it with the junk, you know?"

"I'm glad you're here. I know it's hard for you."

"I'm fine, Tommy. Go out there, be with her, you deserve your happiness." Nikki smiled, the best he could. He meant it, in a way. He really wanted Tommy to be happy, even if it meant to lose him. He needed to adapt, adjust. Losing people had been a constant in his life, he was used to it, but somehow this stung more than the rest.

“My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away.” Tommy said in a hushed tone, his heart was as torn as Nikki's. "What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" He continued, and right there Nikki heard the crack in his voice. He lifted his eyes to find Tommy's full of tears, and Nikki's heart broke even more.

"Please, walk away. That's the best for both of us, I can't fuck up your life like I'm doing with mine." The bassist answered, those words hurt so much while being spoken, Nikki could barely hear himself. He whispered them, careful, careful not to say anything that could convince Tommy to kiss him, to cheat on his wife, to give a stupid glimpse of hope to himself when he was trying desperately to accept reality.

"I don't wanna ruin you. I would never forgive myself, Tommy..." 

"But-" Tommy tried to say something, anything, but Nikki interrupted him: "Go, for real. They are waiting for you out there." 

The drummer nodded, even if leaving Sixx there, in those conditions, hurt him like a knife straight to the heart.

"Let me at least walk you to the limousine, so you can go home. Rest, try to sleep and please take care." He proposed, helping Nikki to get up. He was still very weak, possibly even weaker than before, if that was possible. He washed his face with cold water and sipped a bit of it, it tasted amazing and felt so refreshing for his sore throat. He felt his heart seize up when he felt Tommy's warm hand resting on the small of his back, steadying the bassist and grounding him to Earth.

Tommy walked him to the car, dealing with the other guests so Nikki could stay quiet and just smile. He left him in the limo and said goodbye with wet eyes, said he was going to call him later.

Nikki knew Tommy wasn't going to call, he would be much too busy with his new bride and maybe that is for the best, anyway

He asked the driver to bring him home and, on the ride, he did what he knew he shouldn't and called Jason. He asked for more drugs, more substances to help him just forget, and Jason didn't disappoint. When Sixx walked through the garden of Van Nuys, his dealer was already there with the substances requested and waiting for the money.

He shot up again, indeed, because he felt he had no other choice. He needed to forget everything he had said to Tommy, because he regretted every single moment of that conversation.

*****

The drummer had to wait until the party was over and he and Heather were home. He called Nikki once, then twice, but nobody answered. Worry grew and rose in his chest, he was filled with bad thoughts and worst case scenarios. 

Scenarios that involved the love of his life, dead alone on the floor with a needle in his arm.

"Babe, I'm really sorry but I need to go. It won't take long, I promise." He said, hurriedly grabbing his jacket and the keys to his Harley.

The blonde woman looked at him and raised her eyebrow: "Where are you going, to check up on your junkie friend? He can't do anything without you, right?" She sneered, crossing her arms and looking really annoyed.

Tommy walked closer to her, so he could kiss the tip of her nose. Like he always did with Nikki when he was angry for some stupid reason, and he couldn't help but think this felt so wrong with her, but he had to get out of there. "Honey, don't get mad. He needs me, I wanna be there for him. He's my best friend."

"Well then, you might stay at his place for the night then, since you seem to owe him some kind of help." She growled as she threw her nightgown on in a huff. "Why didn't you marry him, instead?" 

Tommy snapped and took a couple of steps back, to avoid losing control of his actions. His fingers were twitching and he couldn't help but think: if I could have, I would have.

"Don't say shit like that ever again. Mind your own fucking business, and stay out of my relationship with Nikki." He spat through gritted teeth, pointing at her with shaking hands. She wasn't intimidated though, just angry, and she rolled her eyes at his obvious distress.

"Yeah sure, go. Go and take care of him. I'll see you tomorrow, maybe. Or maybe not, I might as well pack my shit and leave!"

"I told you it's just for tonight, he was really sick today."

"Whatever. Now get out." And Tommy did as he was told,  running out and jumping on his motorcycle, and speeding his way to Van Nuys. He knew the road by heart then, since he had done it so many times, and luckily it didn't take long.

He had a copy of the keys, of course he did, so he basically ran through the garden and then entered the house. No sound was to be heard except the soft music on MTV, Nikki was probably on the first floor. Of course the place was completely messed up, and he wasn't surprised. 

"Nikki? Are you here?" He called, and then clarified: "It's me, Tommy,'' knowing Nikki's mind spiraled downwards in paranoia, when he was high. He reached the bassist's bedroom and found Nikki sleeping on the bed. He was still fully dressed, and there was the wound of a very recent fix on his left hand. 

At least he was alive, that was all that mattered. Everything else could wait. Tommy laid down next to him, ignoring the not so nice smell in the air, and listened to Nikki's deep breath like a sort of mantra. He was alive. He was alive.

He watched Sixx 's face and breathing for signs of distress the whole night, until the bassist woke up by himself around 4am. 

"Tommy? Is that you or, am I hallucinating?"

The drummer shifted and went closer to Nikki's body: "It's Tommy. How are you?"

"Sleepy. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you were okay."

"And what about her?" Nikki enquired, scratching his forehead and then looking for a bottle of water on the drawer. He took a long sip, still looking at Tommy with half closed eyes.

"She's home, pretty mad, but I don't care."

"The fuck, Tommy, you should be there with her." The bassist put a hand to his forehead, his voice sounded tired and most of all, worried. "You shouldn't be here."

"I want to be here, that's the fucking point." Tommy said, and cupped Nikki’s face. The black haired man looked at him, tiredly. Why did Tommy have to do that to him? Hadn’t he endured enough pain yet? He was trying to get used to the idea of living without the love of his life, because Tommy himself said so, because he said they had to cut their relationship short, for their own good. And yet Tommy was there, taking care of him and ignoring all the things he said, all the things he promised. Tommy was there, and Nikki found it so hard to resist, to say no, because he didn't fucking want to.

“Don’t ruin shit, dude.” Nikki growled then, getting up and taking the chance to change his clothes into something more comfortable. He could feel Tommy's sad eyes watching him during the whole process, without saying anything. "You fucking married her. You wanted this."

"I know... but-"

The black haired man looked at him, dead in the eye: "But what, you still love me or something?"

"...There's no way I could ever stop loving you."

"Then you shouldn't have married her." he said back, barely able to swallow the pain those words caused him. He needed to try to lie, to convince Tommy that this was the right decision. Giving up on Tommy, trying to put some distance between them, to save Tommy's marriage. He really wanted Tommy to be happy.

"You have no right to do this to her, and to me, because you know too damn well I can't fucking live like this."

The drummer sat on the edge of the bed and took Nikki's hands, they were kinda cold, but those long and rough fingers felt so familiar when they intertwined with his. "We always kept our relationship secret. What's different now?"

"Tommy, you chose her. You promised to stay next to her no matter what. You shouldn't cheat on her, and moreover, not with me. The difference is in the choice you made." Nikki’s voice was indeed petty strangled at that point, he couldn’t hold back the salty tears. Tommy pulled him closer and hugged his waist, leaning his head on his belly. They both sighed, while the bassist stroked the younger’s hair.

“I still love you anyway. I think that’s pretty clear, right?” Nikki whispered, and Tommy nodded silently as Nikki sat next to him. Shoulder to shoulder, they were looking at the floor with sad eyes. Everything was chaotic in that room: the bed was unmade, clothes and any kind of personal belongings were scattered all over the carpet, the smell of smoke and alcohol mixed with hairspray, the sound of cars passing by. Nikki’s mind drifted off: he couldn’t stay concentrated for too long. He was tired, and there still was the aftermath of drugs, hazing his mind.

Tommy’s voice brought him back to the harsh reality of things: “Can I kiss you one last time?” he asked, and Sixx couldn’t say no to that. Just one last kiss, he told himself, won’t kill anyone, right?

They were familiar with each other, yet, that kiss seemed full of brand new sensations. First the drummer caressed his cheek and then held up his chin, looking into those green eyes he was so hopelessly in love with. Their lips touched ever so softly, just a chaste contact, before Nikki would deepen the kiss by licking the other's lips. Tommy of course followed him, and kissed him in a desperate dance of feelings, almost crying, almost moaning his name so low it couldn't be heard. 

"I love you, I love you so much…" the drummer whispered, stroking Nikki's tangled hair and kissing his jaw and neck, breathing hot against his skin, trying to savor every moment, every single sensation. Nikki bit his lip before lowering his head to kiss Tommy's hair. 

"I love you too, Tommy. More than anything." he quietly murmured back, words they had chanted so many times. Sometimes between laughs, sometimes during sex, sometimes while fighting, but never like this. Tommy was crying: Nikki felt it by the way his back would slightly jolt and his breath kept on stopping. He couldn't do anything about it.

"Stay here tonight, okay? You’ll go home in the morning, I don’t want you driving like this.” Nikki proposed as he laid on the bed, pulling Tommy with him. The drummer remained silent for a while, until he stopped crying, and then nodded: "Okay."

So they fell asleep together, just by basking in the familiar sound of each other’s breath, so reassuring, and soaking in the comforting heat of their skin, tucked in the sheets together, as they were always meant to be.

But both of them knew that the daylight would come much, much too soon.

#terrorcest #nikki sixx x tommy lee #tommy lee x nikki sixx #tommy/nikki #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue

[madiwhitethewriter]

Disclaimer: 18+ content featuring suicide

I lost my best friend many years ago. Jason. He was 5 years older than me. He was my big brother, my best friend, my attempted boyfriend, my protector.

He and I had such a rocky relationship. He was not a well person. He was abused as a child. I don’t know the details and I never asked. He never wanted to talk about it.

He was the guy you always wanted to be with at the party, the one who would always make me laugh. He knew before anyone when I needed a hug. But he also had the lowest of lows.

He attempted suicide three times before. And at other times he would find trouble down alleys and start fights just for the hell of it. I would go to his place and find it completely wrecked. Usually there would be holes in the walls or his bathroom mirror would be broken with blood on it. I would wait for him in his place and be there and ready for whichever Jason came home that night. His world would be slowly falling apart and he would start this riot and cause chaos in his life and there was no stopping it. He would not take any medication and he would not go to therapy.

I was his rock for many years and I loved him. He was my first love. And nothing will ever change that. But there was a point where I couldn’t be a rock for anyone because I was also breaking. I didn’t have the strength for anyone but myself.

So I did the only thing I could do and distanced myself from him. I changed my number and blocked him on social media and said my goodbyes. He could get in touch with my cousin if there was an emergency.

But I couldn’t do the texts everyday asking me what he should do, the calls at 3 am asking me to come pick him up on the side of the road in cities a couple hours from where he lived, the kick back from him whenever I tried to really help. I just couldn’t do the manipulation.

He knew I loved him. I knew he loved me, in his own way. But he was too broken to love someone in that way because he had no self love. The day I told him what I needed to do, and told him I had to say goodbye, he tried to commit suicide for the third time. He took so many pills the doctors weren’t sure if pumping his stomach would work. He wrote on his arm “don’t leave me”. I knew the message was meant for me...

When I was sure he would recover, I left and followed through on my promise. I couldn’t do it anymore. You have to know, the first time he attempted suicide, I was 15 years old. I wasn’t mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with that.

There was one day, about six months after that, I received a call from my cousin... which turned out to be Jason. He told me he was all better, he was on medication, he was going to group meetings for anger management... etc. He sounded so sincere. I wanted to believe him. But he said these words so many times before that I couldn’t know for sure. I didn’t trust my instincts around him. But I gave a little, I allowed him to have my number. But he would only be able to use it for emergencies.

Some more time passed. He respected my wishes.

Then one day something happened.

I remember exactly what I was doing because I was in a job interview. I could feel my phone buzzing in my pocket. Over and over. I ignored it of course. There was ten missed calls from Jason and twice as many texts. But the texts were vague. He was saying things like, “ I miss you” “I wish we could speak” “I want you to see my new furniture...” ~~ things like that. Just like a running line of consciousness.

I texted back, “are you ok?”

He answered back, “yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

I said, “ we agreed you would only contact me on this number if there was an emergency, is there an emergency?”

He replied, “No.”

The weekend passed by in a blur, I got the job, I was at my weekend job both Saturday and Sunday, Monday I was starting at the new job.

The first day was a busy day of training and working and I wasn’t about to look at my phone every time it buzzed.

On my lunch hour I saw that Jason had tried to call me 18 times. No texts.

I called him back but he didn’t answer. I called him back two more times. No answer. Straight to voicemail. I figured his phone had died. He never would charge the thing. But I was worried.

That night I was out with a buddy of mine to celebrate my new job. He knew Jason from other people and from some of the stories I had told him. I filled him in and he told me to try calling again.

It rang that time and I was able to leave a voicemail. Still no answer after an hour. I convinced my friend to take me to Jason’s apartment. I tried calling again and heard his phone from inside. We knocked on the door over and over. I got his hidden key and let myself in.

I called him. No answer. The kitchen was a mess, but empty. The living room looked like someone had trashed it, but it was also empty. I rounded the corner into his bedroom and found him.

I will never forget the sight of him. He was hanging from the stupid carabiner in the ceiling with an orange extension chord wrapped around his neck.

It’s not like in the movies, where the people spring into action to cut the person down. They make it look so easy. There is magically a really sharp knife for them to easily cut through rope that’s always at breaking point. There is always someone in the scene with a hero complex that is equally strong enough to hold the dead weight of someone.

It didn’t settle in what I was looking at. I wished I could have just sprang into action. I wish I was strong enough to cut the chord or hold him up while my friend cut him down.

Have you ever tried cutting through a thick chord? Have you ever scene someone’s eyes when they have been strangled to death?

Red marks around the eyes–medically known as petechiae form.

It wasn’t until I saw his eyes that the realization hit me that he needed our help.

I yelled at my friend to call 9-1-1. And he entered the room and was on the phone in an instant.

I remembered trying to get chair back up under his feet to try to get something underneath him for him to stand on.

I think I knew at that moment that he was dead. But my rational brain had left and whatever was left was trying to come up with a logical solution to fix this problem.

My memories after that are fragmented.

At some point, my friend was pulling me away from Jason’s body. And I was trying to untie the rope, but it was too tight.

I remember yelling at him to do something. To help me. Then I just remember being on the floor and feeling numb.

I don’t know how much time passed, but then there were police in the apartment and I remember their shoes. I was sitting on the floor, and looking at two sets of shoes. One shoe was undone.

I remembered the shoes walked away and only one returned. Then hands appeared. I looked up then. The mans eyes were warm and kind, and I remembered Jason’s eyes. Empty.

The officer said something like “don’t look at him, look at me...” he just kept talking. He got me up off the floor, pulling a blanket around me.

I tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let me go. He just kept pulling me. I tried to wrench my hands away from him. Then there was another pair of hands on my shoulders from behind trying to push me from the room.

The officer told me to calm down and said “ we have to cut the body down”.

*the body*

Of course, he needs to be brought down. His eyes need to be closed. My other friend was nowhere to be found.

The officer sat me down on the couch, making sure there wasn’t any broken glass on the floor that would cut my feet. I didn’t even notice the kitchen and living room floor was covered in shattered glass pieces.

There was one of his hoodies on the couch beside me, I gathered the sweater up to my nose and layer down on the couch.

There was paramedics in the apartment. The police were in and out, I think they tried to talk to me. But the words “in shock” were floating around me. Then there were these other guys in the room taking Jason away on a gurney in a body bag.

Then suddenly I was beside him before they left. I don’t remember standing or pushing anyone out of my way. I demanded to see him before they left. They had to tell me that he wouldn’t look any different than when he was hanging. I didn’t care. I just wanted to see him.

His eyes were closed the second time. Thank God his eyes were closed. Then he was being taken away and suddenly I was in the nice officers car and he was asking for my address.

I couldn’t answer and then I woke up in a hospital.

~

I was filled in on some of those details of my actions after the fact. A lot of it I don’t actually remember, but when the officers were asking what happened the next day they told me what I was doing. And the reasons why.

I apologized to them for my actions. They just patted my foot and said no apology necessary.

It wasn’t until after Jason’s death was ruled a suicide that they told me the details of his death.

He was heavily intoxicated. I was the last person he had called before he hung himself. The chair that he had used was intentionally kicked away across the room which is why the police didn’t rule it anything other than a suicide. And he also didn’t try to pull the chord away from his neck, otherwise there would be evidence of that on his fingers and fingernails.

~

If only I had answered the fucking phone!!!

M

#madigetspersonal #madiwhitethewriter #suicideawareness #mentalheathawareness #depression #anger #child abuse #alcholism #trauma #recovery #suicide

[crowdedimagines]

City Of Angels - David Dobrik

word count: 2174

Los Angeles. The city of angels. The place I have been longing to go for as long as I can remember. I have always been hoping to find a place to call home. No place has felt quite right, but now I’m here.

People say moving to a city you’ve never been to is crazy, but I like to think of it as spontaneous. I haven’t even told my fans that I’m moving here, I’m sure they would lose it, afraid that L.A. would change me like it has with so many other youtubers.

“God, I’m hungry.” I mutter to myself as I walk over to baggage claim.

It was a long flight. Now, I’m just looking forward to unpacking and settling. I take an Uber to my apartment building. I am so thankful to already have amazing friends in this City. Corinna has been nothing but amazing to me since I told her I wanted to move. She recommended her apartment complex, after living in the area for a while she knew that it would be perfect.

“Corinna?” I scream into the phone.

“Y/n!” She yells back making me laugh. I called her once we were getting close.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes!” I inform.

“I can’t wait! I haven’t seen you in such a long time! Ahh!” She cheers.

We exchange goodbyes before hanging up. She’s waiting in the lobby by the time I get there. As soon as I open the door she is pulling me in for a tight hug. She is my best friend and it is going to be so nice to be so close now. We used to facetime constantly but now she’ll just be down the hall.

“Rinna!” We sway back and forth still laughing in a hug.

“I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I know!”

I already signed the lease before moving out here so I would have access to it. We talk the entire way to my apartment, she hands me my key. Corinna has been kind enough to put the boxes I’ve had shipped in my apartment for me.

She stays for a while to tell me how she organized the boxes and we lay on my bed and talk for awhile. The bed is the only thing not boxed up currently.

“Alright, well I have to go but if you need anything please let me know.” She stands up from my bed.

“Thank you so much for everything.”

“Of course, love you girl!” She laughs, walking over to the door.

“Love you.” I call back.

Once she’s gone I decide it’s time to start unpacking. It’s hours of moving things back and forth before I’m finally comfortable with where everything is for now. I definitely still need to go to target and pick up some more things.

Hey, want to come out tonight? Let’s go clubbing!

First night here and Corinna is already trying to drag me out. It’s already eleven at night, I was kind of hoping to crash early. But is that really how I want to spend my first night in L.A?

Sure. Pick me up?

I walk in to my closet and settle on one of my favorite outfits that’s nice but not too nice.

We’ll pick you up in thirty.

We? Who else is Corinna with? I know she’s a part of the Vlog Squad but I’m not sure who all that entails. I’ve met some of the members of the group, but not all.

I scramble to get ready in the time that I have. I manage to do light makeup and my hair by the time that Corinna texts that they’re waiting downstairs. I come down and see Corinna standing next to a white Tesla.

David Dobrik.

We’ve never officially met, we both know of each other obviously but never actually talked. The wing of the car opens and Corinna gets back and and I follow her. We don’t have to climb to the back because Zane and Jeff already are back there. Jason and David sit in the front.

“Y/n!” Zane cheers. He pulls me into a half hug as well as he can while we’re both sitting. I’ve met Zane and Jason before and that’s it. I only know Jeff from David’s vlogs.

“Hi Zane.” I laugh at how loud he is before turning to the front of the car. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“David doesn’t care, he likes driving.” Corinna insists.

“Oh right, nice to meet you by the way.” I look at David in his rearview mirror.

“You too, Y/n” He smiles looking back at me.

I get goosebumps when he says my name. I turn back and introduce myself to Jeff and he does the same.

“You have no idea how excited David was that you were coming tonight.” Jason turns in his seat to look at me.

“What, why?” I ask with a laugh.

I notice now that David’s camera is sitting on his dash recording. Content for the vlog is the reason we’re probably all going out tonight.

“He loves you.” Corinna nods.

“I do not!” David yells, trying to defend himself, “I mean I do, but like not in a creepy way.”

The whole car is loud with laughter, mine included.

“David watches your videos all the time.” Jason explains.

“Awe, that’s so sweet! I watch the vlogs too.” I admit.

“Shit, really?” David asks.

I nod, a blush takes over his face which makes me grin. We arrive at the club, once we go in I find that there are more people here that I know. I talk to Kristen and Scott who I met at Vidcon last year.

“So this is your first night in L.A?” Kristen asks, shocked.

“Yeah, just landed today.” I have to yell over the loud music.

We’ve been here for a while now, I’ve been introduced to more people. My second drink is in my hand. I don’t want to go too crazy tonight, I spent some time on the dancefloor but just came back. David left our table a little while ago with a few others to film a bit for his vlog.

“Having fun?” David asks, he came back and sat next to me.

“Yeah, I am actually. You have a really good group of friends.” I nod to the people around us. They’re so genuine and kind even if they do get a little drunk and crazy.

“I know, we really lucked out. So what do you think of L.A so far?” He scoots a little closer so we can hear each other more easily.

“I love it. It’s so different from home, but I think it’ll be a good change.”

I can’t fight off my yawns anymore. David notices it and starts laughing.

“Tired?”

“Yeah, it’s been a really long day.”

“Do you want to go?” He asks.

I turn and look at him, I can’t figure out what he’s thinking.

“I just meant that if you’re tired, I’ll bring you home.”

“That’s really nice of you.” I nod. “I’m exhausted, but can I tell you something?”

He nods for me to continue.

“It sounds stupid, but I don’t want to be alone. It’s a new city and going back to my empty apartment sounds kind of sad.”

“Do you want to come back to my house?”

“Are you serious?”

I still can’t read this kid. I just met him, but I feel so comfortable around him. Corinna has known him forever, he’s obviously a good guy.

“Yeah, I just needed some content. This isn’t really my scene anyway.” He gestures around to the club.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

We both tell the group that we’re leaving. I go out to the dancefloor to tell Corinna who encourages the two of us to have fun making both David and I roll our eyes. David gets his car from the valet and we both leave.

“So, what’s your favorite thing to do, other than vlog?” I ask, making conversation on the drive to his house.

He laughs and thinks for a few seconds.

“I really like to travel with people. It’s such an experience that is unique I just love it.” He stares straight at the road deep in thought, “I love seeing people’s reaction to a new place. How it makes them feel.”

“That’s really cool.” I smile.

“Eh, it’s kind of weird.” He tries to laugh it off and lighten the mood that had gotten a bit serious.

“Why did you leave Y/ht to move here?” He asks, he keeps looking over to me before focusing back on the road.

I give myself a few seconds to think before answering.

“I just have never found that place that made me happy. No place that I didn’t feel like I could leave. Obviously, I love my family but I wasn’t happy there. I hope that this is going to be my new home.”

We jump back into small talk for the rest of the drive. Soon enough were at the house that I’ve seen so many times on his vlogs. He unlocks the door and I follow him in.

He turns on some lights and the TV. it’s paused on one of my videos. I burst out in laughter. It’s one of my older videos, one of my storytimes. We both sit down on the couch, I’m still laughing.

“Wow, Jason wasn’t kidding.” I shove his shoulder lightly.

He ducks to the side and buries his head in his hands. I can hear him mumble something about how embarrassing is was. I pull on his shoulder to get him to sit up.

“I think it’s cute.” I smile.

“You do?” He finally sits up and looks at me.

“Well yeah, at least I know you meant it earlier when you said you were a fan. Apparently, you’re my number one fan.” I tease.

David switches it and turns on Netflix for some background noise. Neither of us are focused on it, too busy talking. Natalie comes home at some point and introduces herself. She’s even nicer in person. Natalie even lets me borrow some clothes that are a bit more comfortable.

The same sleepy tiredness from the club kicks in after an hour or two. David is tired too, I can see it in his eyes. I don’t remember exactly when we fell asleep, but we both did. I wake up hours later, my neck is uncomfortable from laying at an awkward angle. My head is on David’s shoulder, he is slumped down slouching, his head leaning against mine.

“Fuck.” I groan, I slowly pull my head away so I can stretch. I get up and go to the bathroom, when I come back David isn’t where I left him. The patio door is wide open now. I go out to find him sitting on one of his lounge chairs.

“Morning.” I smile, leaning against the door. “I hope I didn’t wake you when I got up.”

“No, I was up for a little bit before you got up. I needed to stretch though, that’s why I came out here.” He smiles.

I walk over to the other side of him and sit down on the other lounge chair. The sun is just starting to rise. The view from David’s house is beautiful.

“I don’t remember falling asleep last night.” I comment.

“Me neither.” He turns to look at me, “I think we were both just exhausted.”

“This view is so beautiful.” I sit up.

“Yeah, it never gets old.”

I look back at David and he’s already looking at me. I smile at him.

“This has been really nice.”

“I agree.”

David decides to be bold, he reaches out and takes my hand in his. I look down at our hands before looking at him, I raise my brows.

“I really like you, Y/n.” He grins.

“I really like you too, David.” I smirk back at him.

He pulls my hand and I get up to sit on the chair with him. He opens his arms to welcome me into them. I happily oblige.

“Can I take you on a date? Like out for breakfast?” He laughs.

“Breakfast? We just spent the entire night together.” I turn my head to look back at him. He’s biting his lip looking down at me.

I decide it’s my turn to be bold. I look down at his lips before connecting them. His lips are warm and inviting, I lean into him more. My hand finds its way to his hair. I smile against his lips when I can feel him doing the same.

We pull away after a short while, both smiling like idiots. I push my back against his chest again and face the sunrise. I’ve been in this city for such a short time and it’s already been so amazing to me.

“Thank you city of angels.”

this was just cute and fun to write, i hope you liked it

#david dobrik imagines #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik #david dobrik x you #youtuber imagines #youtube imagines #youtube #david imagine #david x reader #david #vlog squad #vlog squad imagines #vlog #david's vlogs #kristen mcatee #scotty sire #corinna kopf #natalie mariduena

[hunnywrites]

Arcade Dreams: Chapter Twelve

Summary: There’s a new girl working at the Palace Arcade and Hawkins’ Family Video. Billy can’t stand her, and the feeling is mutual. No matter what everyone else seems to think.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

A/N: Don’t worry everyone, no one’s gonna be getting flayed at the steel mill. Well, not yet anyways.

 Sneaking out of the house had at one point been Teddi’s specialty. Back in New York she had snuck out to go to parties, go on dates or just to get out of the house so often that climbing out of her bedroom window had basically become a muscle memory. It was different now that she was in Hawkins. Her parents were more miserable and focused in on whatever it was that she was up to. But tonight would be different. Tonight would be like the old days. The Harringtons had invited her parents to their New Year’s Eve party, and Teddi knew that her mom and dad would be the last ones to leave sometime around dawn if the party really ended up to be as wild as Steve had described. “Last year Carol’s mom got so wasted she threw up in the pool and then locked herself in my parent’s bathroom for like...three hours.” he had said. 

Steve Harrington had the same knack for sneaking out (and technically in when it came to sneaking into Nancy Wheeler’s bedroom while they had been together) that Teddi had. When Teddi had called the next morning to tell him the very cleaned up version of what had happened between her and her parents the night before he had gone into super sneak mode. Technically speaking it hadn’t been their best plan. After her shift was over for the night Teddi would drive home, Steve would follow her and park across the street until her parents left for their party and they would be off. They had decided that they would ditch their bonfire at one in order to get Teddi home well before her parents and they would be none the wiser to what she had been up to. 

Teddi had put on an entire act. She came home, mumbled a hello to her parents, and headed to her room to remove her makeup and change into pjs to help with the illusion that she’d be staying in for the night. When her parents left completely dressed to the nines, Teddi was planted on the couch with a can of Coke and a bowl of popcorn. “We’ll be home late.” was all her father said before shutting the front door loudly behind him. Teddi sprung into action. She ran back to her bedroom, quickly changing out of her pjs and into her outfit for the night. The cold had finally caught up to her. Instead of the usual mini skirt or pair of cut off shorts, Teddi pulled on a pair of high waisted, black jeans and a bright, yellow chenille sweater. She kicked on her boots and grabbed her puffy jacket and was out the front door and rushing over to Steve’s car. 

“Come on, come on, come on,” Steve said, hitting his hand against the steering wheel. Teddi slid into the passenger’s seat and the pair shared a high five. “That was like record time, Larsson!” he said as he took off down the street. The way that Steve called Teddi by her last time was much more...soft than the way Billy did. 

“Not my first rodeo,” she laughed out as she tried to catch her breath. She was a little rusty, but she had still been impressed with how quickly she’d gotten ready. “So this isn’t gonna be a problem with the party? ‘Cause my parents are hoping for a rager.” 

“Oh, totally. My mom looks forward to it every year. It’s the biggest party in Hawkins...according to her at least.” Teddi had never met Steve’s parents, but from the way Steve spoke about them she was sure that they would be great friends with her parents. And if that meant they’d be out of the house more often then Teddi was more than fine with it. 

“So, where’s this steel mill at?” 

“It’s like maybe twenty minutes out of town. It’s been abandoned for a few years. Tommy usually has parties there when nobody has folks that are out of town.” and by twenty minutes out of Hawkins, Steve may as well have said the steel mill was in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing around. He mentioned there was a sort of shitty motel that had been turned into apartments a few miles up the road, but that was about it until you got to the next town over. Teddi was sure that Hawkins was quite possibly the most boring town in America. 

When they arrived at the steel mill, Teddi noticed that there weren’t nearly as many cars as there had been at David’s Christmas party. The steel mill was also pretty creepy. Scratch that; very creepy. It definitely looked abandoned. The “Brimborn Steel Works” sign was so old and faded that Teddi could barely read it in the dark. She could hear the party and see a faint glow from the bonfire coming from inside, but the way that the music and voices echoed off of the old building gave Teddi a bad feeling. At least there was a payphone nearby in case some Jason Voorhees character tried to kill them all. 

“Is this safe?” she asked, carefully following Steve across the gravel. 

“Uhhh...sure. I mean no one’s died yet.” she wasn’t really sure if he was teasing her or not. Once they made their way inside, Teddi was immediately met with the smell of the bonfire and beer. There were a few empty and broken bottles strewn around, as well as a group of three kegs all sitting in a frothy pile of spilled beer next to a cooler. The music was coming from a boombox that was sitting up safely on an abandoned machine.

She recognized more people at this party. Heather, Freddy and Katie were all there and waved at Teddi when they saw her. Robin Buckley, a girl that Teddi was sort of friendly with and shared three classes with, was with a group of her friends. Tommy H and Carol were being the loud, obnoxious hosts of the party. They were entertaining a large group of people closest to the fire with some sort of drinking game. 

And then there was Billy. He was by Tommy and Carol’s group, but somehow still off on his own. He was leaning up against a railing with a beer bottle hanging between his fingers and a cigarette between his lips. The cold must have finally gotten to him like it had Teddi; he had traded in his usual button up shirt and leather jacket for a very tight white henley and a denim shirt layered under his jean jacket. He also looked very, very bored. 

As if he knew that Teddi was watching him, Billy’s eyes met hers. He watched her cooly for a moment as she moved across the large room and over to the coolers, taking a swig of his beer before his eyes drifted over to Steve who was beside her. If he felt any sort of way about the two arriving together he didn’t show it. 

“Want a beer?” Steve asked, holding up two bottles. Teddi nodded enthusiastically before grabbing the beer and taking a large swig. Why had she come to this party? Of course Billy was going to show up. And while the last couple of weeks had been filled with nothing but trying to avoid Billy, that almost felt wrong now. There was this big, screaming secret between the both of them that was impossible for her to ignore. But it seemed like Billy was going to try his damndest to pretend it wasn’t there. 

“Well, well!” Teddi nearly groaned at the sound of Tommy’s voice. “Look what we have here!” Tommy and Carol had turned towards Teddi and Steve, the pair looking at them with nearly identical evil grins. “Billy wasn’t enough for ya, huh, Teddi? Moving on to Harrington? You’ve been a busy girl!” 

Teddi wasn’t scared of Tommy or Carol. It was obvious to her that they were both extremely insecure with the way that they both dropped Steve for Billy the moment he showed up in Hawkins. At one point back in New York Teddi had been Tommy and Carol. The big bad popular girl at school that looked down her nose at people. But now she pitied the both of them if anything. “Gee Tommy, if you were this worried about your own sex life as you are mine then Carol wouldn’t always be hitting on your friends.” she said with a slight nod to Billy. It was no secret how badly Carol wanted Billy. As soon as Tommy was out of sight, without fail, she would shamelessly flirt with Billy even though he’d never shown even the slightest interest. 

Carol shifted uncomfortably beside Tommy, who was watching Teddi with narrowed eyes. Finally he smirked. “Oh yeah? And what’s after Steve then, Teddi? You gonna want a round with me too?”

Teddi rolled her eyes. “No thanks. I have enough disappointment in my life.” Tommy glared at her as a few of their friends tried to hide their laughter. 

Steve held a hand up. “Alright, Tommy. I think that’s enough, huh? We’re all just trying to have a good time.”

Tommy quickly turned his attention from Teddi to Steve. “No one’s stopping you, Harrington. How’s it feel to settle for someone else’s scraps? Is she the best you can do after that prude Nancy left you for Byers? God, I hope you’re putting out, Teddi. Stevie boy’s gotta be real hard up after putting up with that priss-”

“Tommy, how about you shut the fuck up for once, huh?” heads turned at the sound of Billy’s voice. He didn’t say anything else, only flicked the butt of his cigarette away and took another drink. Tommy looked like Billy had slapped him. 

Tommy looked between Billy and Teddi a few times. “Are you going soft, Hargrove? Over some lousy lay? What, are you and Steve double teaming her?” he laughed.

“Pretty sure Carol’s the one that’s into that sorta thing.” Billy said evenly.

“You piece of shit-“ Tommy spat, moving quickly towards Billy. But of course Billy didn’t back down. He matched Tommy’s strides, but Teddi stepped in before anything more could happen.

“Billy, stop. I don’t need your help.” her tone was a little pleading. She really didn’t want to see Billy do the same thing to Tommy that he had done to Steve a few months back. Especially with so many people around to witness it. That wasn’t something Billy would ever be able to come back from. Teddi could practically hear Billy’s ego shatter at her words.

“C’mon, Tommy,” Carol said with an over dramatic eye roll. She grabbed Tommy by the arm and gave him a tug.  “It’s your turn on the keg. Let them have their little lovers quarrel.” she said with a pointed look towards Steve and Teddi. This was enough to appease an already drunk Tommy much to Teddi’s relief. 

“What the fuck was that?” Billy spat. 

“Hey, hey. Back off, dude.” Steve took a step in front of Teddi, holding a hand out to stop Billy from coming any further. 

“Get your hand off me, Harrington. Unless you want a replay of that beating I already gave you.” Billy took a step towards Steve, his shoulders held high.

Teddi wiggled her way around Steve and placed herself between the two. “What are you, cavemen? Steve, it’s fine okay? Just give me five minutes,” Steve eyed Teddi for a moment before shooting Billy a warning look and walking off. “What was what, Billy?” she asked with a tired sigh.

“I don’t get you, Larsson. You’re always telling me what an asshole I am, and I try and stick up for you and you embarrass me.” 

“Because I don’t need you to stick up for me!” Teddi threw her hands up. “And frankly I’m a little surprised you give a shit after how you acted at the arcade.” she crossed her arms. 

“How I acted?” Billy asked with a dry laugh. “Teddi, you’re such a goddamn pain in the ass sometimes-”

“Likewise!” she snapped. Teddi couldn’t believe how stupid she felt to think she could go out for the night and have fun. “You’re just so...ugh.” she spun around and stomped off. She had had more than enough of Billy Hargrove for the night. 

Steve caught up to her as she continued to put distance between herself and Billy. “Teddi, are you okay? If you wanna get out of here-”

Teddi shook her head. “I’m fine, Steve. I’m just gonna step outside for a sec, okay?” she lied, sidestepping Steve and heading outside into the cold night air. She wanted to go home. It of course occurred to her that walking home was possibly the dumbest thing that she could do, but she’d had more than enough testosterone for the night. She had been walking for about ten minutes before she heard the rumble of the Camaro’s engine. 

Billy pulled up beside her, leaning forward to get a better look at her. “The hell are you doing, Larsson?” he asked.

“I’m walking home.” she said, wrapping her arms around her in an attempt to keep warm. Billy coasted along beside her as she continued on down the road.

“You’re gonna freeze to death!” he argued. Teddi ignored him. “Teddi, get in the car.” 

“No.” 

“Larsson, I will pull over and put you in the car,” and Teddi definitely believed that. He’d picked her up like a ragdoll enough times for her to know better than to keep arguing. With a loud huff Teddi yanked the door open and got into the Camaro. They were both silent for a few very long and awkward moments. “Does Harrington know you ran off?” he finally asked.

Teddi crossed her arms. “...He thinks I’m getting some fresh air.” she muttered. She felt bad now for lying to Steve, but she was sure that if she called him the next morning and explained he wouldn’t be too upset with her. 

Billy let out a short chuckle before going silent for another few moments. “...So, what, are you pissed at me for last night?” while Teddi was known to give him the cold shoulder after one of his outbursts, she usually got over it pretty quickly. Billy figured that he must have hit a nerve. It didn’t make him feel good to know he had upset her so much by confronting Teddi with the truth. At least it was all out in the open now. He wouldn’t need to dance around the subject anymore. It made things awkward in a different way than it had been before, but somehow this was better.

“No...I don’t know,” Teddi sighed. Her steely exterior was now gone and replaced with a glimpse of her usual bubbly self. “I think I’m more embarrassed now that you know about it if anything. I’ve been keeping it a secret for so long I didn’t expect anyone to ever know…”

Billy shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, well, I guess it’s hard to keep a secret from someone who’s dealing with the same shit.” more silence followed. 

Teddi was chewing on her bottom lip as she looked over at Billy carefully. “...Does he hurt Max?”

“No. There’s been a few times where it’s come close…” those times were starting to become more frequent. Billy wasn’t entirely sure what happened that night at the Byers’ place. After Max jammed that needle in his neck he had blacked out and had somehow managed to make it back into his own room a few hours later. Max didn’t talk about it, but Billy knew that she and her friends had run into something that made her see Neil as an insignificant threat. “She doesn’t get it. You know, one day I’m not gonna be there....Susan’s too afraid of him to do anything.” Billy was gripping onto the steering wheel tightly. 

Teddi supposed she could understand how Billy could rationalize the way he was with Max. “Tough Love”. But it was much heavier on the tough part than the love. And things needed to change. Fast. “You can’t keep treating her like this, Billy,” Teddi said shaking her head. “This whole scared straight thing you have going on. It’s not any better than what our dads do to us, even if the intention is different. You have to show her that you actually give a shit about her.”

She expected him to flip out on her. To start screaming at her and telling her that she didn’t know anything about him or what went on at home. Instead he just looked over at her cooly. “And why’s that?” he asked. 

“Because otherwise she’ll end up like you.” Billy knew that Teddi wasn’t trying to insult him. He wouldn’t admit that she was right though either. But she was. Neil had ruled over their household with an iron fist, and it had done nothing but turn Billy into an angry and violent guy that no one wanted to be around. And yeah, Billy’s intentions with Max were different. He didn’t want her to grow up afraid like he had. He wanted her to grow a thick skin. But his approach was the same as Neil’s. He guessed it was a good thing that Max seemed to be a hell of a lot more brave than he had ever been. 

“...I’m sorry about Tommy.” he said instead. 

Teddi raised her eyebrows at the comment. “I’m sorry” was a phrase she didn’t think was in his vocabulary. “Tommy’s an insecure idiot with a tiny dick. I don’t really care about what he has to say,” she cracked a smile when Billy laughed. “Besides, it’s not anything I didn’t hear back home in school or from my dad.” she shrugged.

Billy quirked an eyebrow. “Your dad?”

“He used to call me the town bicycle,” Teddi rolled her eyes. “I used to be a lot...friendlier, and we lived in this snobby, tiny neighborhood where everyone gossiped.”

Billy nearly slammed down on the breaks. “You?” he asked with a laugh. “No way, Larsson.”

Teddi sunk in her seat a little and scrunched her nose. “Oooh yeah. I was like...the worst. I was always out partying, getting in trouble, sleeping with like...anyone that was interested. I’m pretty sure that’s why I keep putting up with your shit so often. I used to be like you.” she teased.

This wasn’t the first time Teddi had given Billy a glimpse into her wild past. Even still, he had a hard time imagining it. Teddi was this bubbly, talkative, nice girl. She wasn’t anything like him. “I’m not so sure I can picture something like that, Weird Girl.”

“And why not? Even Max says that I’m super cool.” she joked. 

Billy grinned and shrugged. “You’re...you know. A nice person or whatever.”

Teddi’s jaw dropped as she turned to face Billy. “Was that a genuine compliment I just heard from you, Billy Hargrove?”

He groaned. “Don’t make such a big deal out of it. I can have my moments.”

Teddi smiled, tilting her head as she watched him squirm uncomfortably in his seat. “...Do you think you’re not a nice person?” she asked.

“I don’t exactly hear it very often.”

“True...but you could be. Anything’s possible. You could try like...taking a nap or something.” she joked. But she meant what she said. If Billy was willing to put in the work he could be a guy that everyone liked. Max had said that she’d seen a change in her brother. Teddi even saw a change every once and awhile when Billy would let his guard down. Especially after tonight when he stood up for her. 

Billy let out a soft snort. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” the Camaro turned onto Teddi’s street. “Jesus, Larsson, you could walk to my place from here.” 

“Does that mean you’re gonna want to hang out more? You wanna finally play Dungeons and Dragons?” she asked, perking up.

“I’d rather be locked in a closet with Carol.” he deadpanned. Teddi rolled her eyes. Billy pulled into Teddi’s driveway and put the Camaro in park. “Well, there you go Cinderella. Back home before midnight.”

Teddi let out a small laugh and groan. “God, Hawkins is lame...thanks for the ride, Billy.” 

Billy grinned widely. “Oh, you know I’m always down to give you a ride, Larsson.” he definitely didn’t miss the way she blushed at the comment before she let out a loud scoff.

“Oh my god. Goodnight, Billy.” she muttered quickly before sliding out of the car and rushing to the front door. Billy watched as she fished her keys out of one of her jacket’s pockets and slipping inside before he started to slowly pulled out of the driveway. He could probably go back to the party. He had about an hour left before he had to pick up Max from the Wheeler’s place. And he definitely didn’t want to sit out in the driveway like some kind of lame asshole. 

But the door swung open and Teddi poked her head out. “Yo, Hargrove! You wanna come watch some New Year’s Rockin’ Eve?” 

Billy drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a few moments while he thought it over. His curfew was at one (thanks to Susan convincing Neil to go to the Harrington’s party) and he had nowhere else to be. So he pulled back into the driveway, shut the Camaro off and got out. He shoved his hands into his pockets and awkwardly made his way up to Teddi. “Don’t try and get fresh with me, Larsson.” he said, cracking a grin. Teddi laughed and rolled her eyes before stepping aside to let him in. 

“In your dreams, Hargrove.” 

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x oc

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

#uh. i really just spent and hour and a half writing this down but ya #i love ya video games #personal #long post #like. really long