#grossly in love w each other | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cheegu3 · 1 year

Text

tw / trigger warning: yandere themes, abuse, bullying, family issues, sexual themes (Jake)

sorry for the spam besties the idea for Jake came to me in yet another dream and I had to write it out lmao

(some of them are based on my past enhypen fic where they try to kidnap you)

((none of the GIFs are mine, if you feel uncomfortable with yours being used in yandere fics pls message me <3 :) ))

~ Enhypen - they try to make you break up with ur bf ~

Jungwon

He was a grossly popular and mean kid in your school - often having either hordes of guys or girls following him around at all times.

It made you laugh because to you he was just pathetic and weak; it was the oldest trick in the book to walk around with a big group to seem intimidating and powerful, but you refused to fall for it.

Jungwon and you were in the same class. Surprisingly he took school quite seriously due to him having strict parents. You suppose he needed somewhere to get all his frustrations out from family problems just like many other bullies, you just wish he wasn’t in your class.

He always sat in the very back with his loud friends and you sat in front of him. He loved tormenting those who sat closest to him, kicking your feet, pushing your chair or pulling your hair - but others got it way worse.

You would get filled with guilt any time you heard the mischievousness in his voice, knowing what was about to come. Yet you promised yourself to never turn around, it wasn’t worth the trouble.

Many many times, you’d gone to the principal to complain but they had only given him small suspensions; basically a slap on the wrist and nothing more. Jungwon had made it very clear that he was hunting down the person who ‘’ snitched ‘’ and wouldn’t be so kind when he would catch them.

It felt as though you heart stopped any time he’d say it - and you swore he somehow knew it was you; because he leaned forward ever so slightly as he’d announce it, as if it was specifically for you.

What you didn’t know, was that Jungwon was fully aware it was you but he had caught a special interest in you since that day. It fascinated him that you dared go behind his back, but also amused him that you were too scared to stand up to his face.

He made his friends stalk you on social media, trying to find out every little detail about you and it wasn’t hard - your handle was just your full-name, how unlucky for you.

Immediately as your profile popped up, he saw the words ‘’ S <3 ‘’. He could only see red as he walked out, friends looking at each other confused.

It didn’t take long to find you, you were hanging out with your pathetic friends that Jungwon hated. He dragged you away from them silently - but if it were an ordinary day, maybe he’d smirk at their lack of protests, just letting him do whatever he wanted.

You were terrified, thinking he had found out and was going to punish you for it now, images of you laying half-dead on the floor flashed through your mind and you squeaked as he threw you against the alley-wall.

‘‘ Break up with your boyfriend ‘‘

You had never felt so confused before.

‘‘ What? ‘‘

Jungwon rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, feeling as if this was taking up his time and should’ve already been arranged.

‘‘ You heard me ‘‘ he came closer, a look you had never seen before in his eyes.

‘‘ H-how did you know I have a boyfriend? ‘‘ you curled up in defence, feeling small under his stare.

The wall was pressing against your back.

‘‘ Does it matter? Do it or he dies. That’s a warning ‘‘

Then he walked away, just like that. He knew you’d do it, there was no way you’d disobey when you were just as scared of him as everyone else.

Heeseung

Your new job turned sour pretty quickly as you noticed a particular male having an interest in you.

You seemed to have this thing where guys would flock to you whenever you were unavailable and it was the same thing this time. You had just gotten into a relationship, yet this guy at your new job, that everyone seemed to either love or be jealous of - just had to like you of all people.

At one point while talking to your other coworkers, his smile fell just as the person on his side uttered something while vaguely gesturing towards you. You thought nothing of it - maybe he had just heard some bad news. Quickly you went back to working.

For a few hours you felt embarrassed, thinking you were wrong and just had a big ego so you automatically assumed people who stared at you for longer, or smiled more had a crush on you. But then he came up to your desk, almost right before it was time to pack up.

‘‘ Hey, I’m Heeseung ‘‘

He looked relaxed with his hands in his pockets and a sly smile on his face. It made you feel like he was a good guy who wouldn’t mind rejection too much.

‘‘ Hi, I’m y/n ‘‘

He stepped a bit closer, never taking his eyes off of you and the intense eye-contact made you feel nervous.

‘’ I noticed you didn’t seem to get the new program ‘‘ your coworker tilted his head a bit, a playful glint in his eyes.

Your cheeks started to heat up. You sometimes liked to not do much the last hour or so, your mind having already checked out. But you didn’t think anyone would notice.

Maybe only a stalker would.

‘‘ It’s okay, I can help you ‘‘

Heeseung leaned over you to take your mouse before you said yes and it made you a bit uncomfortable, his chest was touching your back.

Maybe you wouldn’t have said anything normally, but it felt very creepy to initiate such contact shortly after meeting someone and you had your boundaries.

‘‘ I’m, sorry but can you please stand this way instead ‘‘ you turned around, almost pitifully clashing into his chest and gestured with your hands to the side instead of standing directly behind you.

A smirk formed on his lips and he then slowly looked down at you. Almost like a horror movie he tightened his arms around you, caging your head and whispered into your ear.

‘‘ Break up with him. You know I deserve you more than him ‘‘

Jay

All your life you had been able to go to fancy five star and Michelin star restaurants all over the world, due to your parents’ wealth.

Traveling the world frequently with your dad and his work, you had met many famous people as well.

A lot of them disappointed you, not at all reaching up to your expectations of them being gentlemanly and charming; leading to you eventually stopping to idolise them and expecting anything.

This time you were in Korea over the weekend. Your dad had an important business deal and promised to take you out for dinner, since he couldn’t spend much time with you during the days.

It was a very high-end restaurant where only billionaires and famous people were allowed to eat. You were aware of the fact that it had become a bit of a hotspot for dating since it was so secluded and exclusive.

Gorgeous people sat at every table you looked at, recognising both actors and kpop idols at them. Your dad lead you to a table at the end of the restaurant and this bit was separated by a curtain, only a handful of tables inside the small area.

The only people who were there at the moment was a large group of boys occupying a long table. They all looked stunning, like straight out of a magazine - and upon further inspection you recognised some of the members from the kpop group enhypen.

It seemed as if the manager knew your dad because he bounced on his feet as soon as he saw him.

You stood awkwardly by their table as they exchanged conversation, trying not to look at the handsome guys within arms-length.

“ This is my daughter, y/n “ your fathers hand found your shoulders, pushing you in front of him towards the manager.

He smiled at you.

“ Nice to meet you, I’m the manager of enhypen “ he gestured to the boys but you still didn’t look, only giving a small smile in return.

A pair of eyes looked at you intriguingly, following your every move even as you and your dad went to the table further away.

Most girls gawked at him shamelessly but you didn’t even spare him a glance. How…interesting.

For the rest of the night he was busy stealing glances at you, irritation building inside due to you treating him as if he didn’t even exist. As if you didn’t care for him or need him because of your rich daddy.

The members looked at him a few times, many of them slightly worried. He had stopped talking to them because of his new obsession.

At the end of the night, finally came the opportunity to talk to you. Your dad went to the restroom and you were packing up your things.

Like a sly fox he wandered over, giving you a confident smile when you noticed his presence.

“ Hi? “ you said.

“ Hi, I’m Jay. I was wonder- “ his words got caught in his throat as he noticed the Polaroid in your phone case - it was of you and another guy kissing.

You only raised your eyebrows questioningly, trying to read his face due to his sudden shift in mood.

‘‘ Break up with him ‘‘ he pointed towards your phone-case.

He walked away, leaving you there looking even more puzzled. But in his mind he was making up a plan on how to make it happen for sure, to make you his in the end.

Jake

It was either a blessing or a curse that you had somehow ended up at the same party as the infamous fuckboy, Jake from your school.

He knew of you before because you were the total opposite of him - sweet and innocent, spending your weekends at home studying diligently rather than partying.

So what were you doing at one now, for the first time since you started college? His lips stretched into a smirk, eying you curiously. You looked nervous which he found cute; following your friend around like a lost puppy while anxiously glancing around at people.

Jake had hooked up with your friend, maybe even with most girls in the room. He cursed his past impulsiveness for possibly ruining his chances with you, as your friend might warn you about him.

Your friend sat down near the couch where a group of people were sitting around and talking. Awkwardly you did the same and just silently listened to their overlapping conversations.

While doing so, you felt someone sit down next to you not long after - their knee brushing up against yours. You turned your head and saw Jake the fuckboy.

‘‘ Hey ‘‘ he said casually.

‘‘ Hey ‘‘ you said shyly, almost too stunned to be able to utter a single word.

You looked at him again because you felt his eyes lingering on you and while doing so, you regretted it immediately. He had a playful smile on his lips and a glint in his eyes, watching you intensely as if he was devouring you inside his mind.

Your cheeks turned a bit red as you quickly turned around again, despite his eyes still being on you.

Jake however didn’t like that you didn’t give him your full attention. He leaned in, lips touching the shell of your ear as he whispered sensually to you, only loud enough so you’d hear.

‘‘ I heard you have a boyfriend ‘‘ his voice sent shivers down your spine ‘‘ Break up with him. I want you for myself ‘‘

You were about to say something but he caught you off guard by his hand traveling to your thigh. Very quickly you realised why he’d gotten so many girls, it was like he had put you under a spell - ready to do whatever, whenever and even breaking up with your boyfriend - just because he said so.

Sunghoon

He had been watching you for some time before finally deciding to kidnap you. Finding out you had a boyfriend was one of the main reasons he had acted so quickly and impulsively to lock you in his house.

There wasn’t enough time to get to know you and woo you slowly before making you fall for him, not with you having a boyfriend - so he’d easily take you hating him as he locked you up, over knowing you were hanging out with your boyfriend.

Still, he’d naturally become a problem eventually anyway. His girlfriend not responding to texts, calls or meeting up would send him into a frenzy. Sunghoon could not deal with a police report so he came up with the nice idea to make you break up with your boyfriend before that happened.

Almost immediately after you woke up, he’d force your phone into your hands, barking orders.

‘‘ Text him and say you want to break up and you’ve thought about it for a long time ‘‘

Your kidnapper gave you a mean smile as he saw the fear forming on your face, as your eyes focused after waking up and taking in what he was saying.

Although it was urgent since you’d taken so long to wake up - he was still openly enjoying this.

‘‘ I don’t want to ‘‘ you mumbled, voice weak.

He sighed.

‘‘ I knew you’d say that ‘‘ he crouched and lifted your chin up slightly.

‘‘ But I will kill him if you don’t ‘‘ he tilted his head ‘‘ And you don’t want that, do you, y/n? ‘‘

Sunoo

He didn’t think it would come to this and it was very upsetting. Having planned so long for his confession only for it all to go down the drain just like that? It broke his heart.

As soon as you said the words,

‘‘ I have a boyfriend ‘‘

He felt like his heart stopped. His eyes grew wider and his eyebrow twitched as a look of confusion crept up on his face.

‘‘ I...I don’t understand ‘‘

It almost broke your heart too, as you watched the boy in front of you look so shattered after pouring his heart out, but you didn’t want to give him false hope by lying to him.

‘‘ I’m sorry, Sunoo ‘‘ was the last thing you said before walking away, not being able to stand the sweet boy suddenly crying.

You had a feeling he would, with how nice, innocent and caring he was - always sitting by you in class, opening doors for you and buying you milk during lunch. But there was a side to Sunoo that you weren’t aware of, that most people weren’t, except for the unfortunate few who had crossed him.

Instead of crying he blankly stared after you as all kinds of violent thoughts started to brew in his head. Whoever this boyfriend was...he already hated him.

A few days later you got a random text from your boyfriend, asking to break up with you. It felt very out of the blue as you had spent the day before hanging out and everything had seemed normal then.

‘‘ Why? ‘‘ you texted back, anxiety starting to quicken your breaths.

‘‘ Because you cheated on me ‘‘

‘‘ What??? No I didn’t! ‘‘

‘‘ You’re in another man’s heart...’‘

Sunoo smiled at the phone in his hand, your boyfriend groaning in pain right beside him. Soon you will be his.

Ni-ki

He didn’t care, of course they were as disposable as all the others he had killed. Getting rid of everyone that was in his way before confessing to you or kidnapping you, was something that he felt was a necessity.

Since Ni-ki was very shy, he didn’t need all the extra attention or people watching his every move; all the unsolicited opinions from your annoying friends pissed him off and he definitely didn’t need a boyfriend taking his place either.

They all disappeared, one after one - leaving you traumatised, depressed and best of all...vulnerable. It was the perfect time to butt in and introduce himself, becoming the only shoulder for you to cry on.

But as he one night followed you home, thinking he’d finally won - he saw you taking a different route. You weren’t going straight home, you were going to an apartment complex.

At first Ni-ki thought he had missed a friend and internally groaned. But then he saw you wait outside for someone, the one who later walked out was a man.

He got closer, listening to your conversation.

‘‘ I will see you tomorrow, okay? ‘‘

‘‘ Yeah, bye love you ‘‘ you stood on your tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek and then walked away, a big grin on your face.

Ni-ki was fuming. He didn’t care about all of his hardwork at that moment; stepping out of his hiding-spot to make sure he was directly in your path.

‘‘ Break up with him ‘‘ he said flatly, eyes narrowing as he noticed your smile.

‘‘ What? Ni-ki what are you doing here? ‘‘

‘‘ I live nearby ‘‘ his lie slipped out effortlessly, eyes still boring into you.

‘‘ I don’t like him, break up with him ‘‘ he said again, already annoyed that he had to repeat himself.

You laughed it off thinking it was some kind of joke, but unluckily for you one more person would disappear without a trace that same very night if you did not comply.

#yandere enhypen #yandere enha #enha fanfic #enha imagines #enhypen imagines #yandere niki #yandere jungwon #yandere heeseung #yandere jake #yandere jay #yandere sunghoon #yandere sunoo #enhypen scenarios #kpop yandere #kpop scenarios #yandere kpop

926 notes · View notes

stuckinapril · 4 months

Note

its not american culture but white culture tbh. my family is russian/german and my mom expected us to move out and be self-sufficient by the age of 20. even though we pay rent to live at home too. from what i heard from previous jobs/friends brown/especially muslim families keep their children at home until they get married, some stay with their families until they are in their 30s lmao my mom would kick me out at that point ruthlessly. its true that white families are colder and less welcoming of their own children. why bring a child into the world when all you do is wait until it leaves home? its questionable

this is insane to me!! and yes ur correct in ur assessment—it’s very normal in that culture/not seen as a negative at all, whereas in american culture you’re seen as a freeloader. it’s also worth mentioning that a lot of arab people choose to live w their family not for financial reasons, but bc they legit don’t wanna live away from loved ones. family is infinitely important in arab culture, in the same way it’s infinitely neglected in american culture. moving out is normal too (if u also happen to be american lol), but so is being surrounded w family voluntarily. if ur family is lax enough, which is mine is, its ultimately up to u what u wanna do.

for my family in particular my mom doesn’t want me to live w her so much as she wants to take care of me, bc to her ill always be her responsibility regardless of age. she always told me that no matter where i live, she will always be happy to support me. i rly won the jackpot bc she has granted me both autonomy and a support system no matter what, when by contrast a lot of more strict brown families might not be okay w that kind of freedom (i felt it necessary to emphasize this btw bc the stereotype of all brown parents being conservative and stifling is grossly overapplied—my mom is proof it’s not true). but white families are so fucking COLD to each other (not ALL of them btw!! as always people and situations aren’t a one size fits all) and being kicked out of the house seems to be the standard. i find that so fucked up

#i’ve seen more generous white families but they also tend to be pretty rich too #most people are middle class & by extension most white families don’t tend to support their children the same way #also white families seem to legit not like each other ?? yall barely stay in touch from what i see and that could notttt be us w our family #arab people value their families a lot more and we generally wanna be in each other’s proximity if we can help it #we maintain our own space but we also cherish the time we have together #that’s a concept a lot of people short circuit when they hear about bc their own relationship w their family is sour #to them the idea of co-existing in harmony is impossible #ask #arab tag

36 notes · View notes

wheredoesthegoodgo · 8 months

Text

my friend convinced me to watch the ultimatum: queer love and now I can’t stop imagining a bkdk au. where izuku shows up with todoroki who gave an ultimatum because he proposed months ago and has patiently been waiting for izuku to decide so he can Cherish him. katsuki of course is there with kirishima who also thinks its time for them to get married, he like, wants kids and all that shit with his main man, which katsuki also technically wants but isn’t sure he deserves kirishima.

but now low and behold bkdk both show up to this weird ass reality thing and see each other after like ten years (which the producers totally knew and of course wanted to start drama).

and izuku’s just Shook(tm) and katsuki’s just high key stressed that fucking deku is here. kirishima was amused until he realizes this is the so-called nerd that was bakugo’s gay awakening tween childhood friend/victim and then he stays amused while also trying to be supportive like “maybe apologizing is what you need to make peace with yourself and feel ready for marriage”

and then after their ‘break-ups’ they end up on dates. obviously bakugo’s dates are with icy hot (who is perfectly pleasant but bakugo decides he hates him anyway) and deku. and with deku it starts off awkward and then turns into arguing w ust and then their last date together melts into a heavy apology where bakugo’s explaining “I realized I’d rather be reading all might comics with you than talking about girls or to girls and it was harder to accept than I realized” and “we knew each other for so long I figured you already knew and I was paranoid you were going to say something or do something and that you were looking down on me, pitying me because of it”

to which of course izuku’s like “no I was just kind of oblivious to my own feelings I’m sorry you felt that” and “I forgave you a long time ago but honestly not sure I ever felt there was something to forgive cause I could tell you were going through something”

and suddenly they both feels so much lighter but at the same time its HEAVY between them like What Could Have Been and there’s Something There

but the date wraps up and before ya know its its the time to choose who they are going to “marry” for a week.

Bakugo chooses Deku.

and he reasons fuck, no one knows him like this nerd even if it’s been a decade since they talked. if anyone is going to help him figure his shit out its going to be this man.

Izuku of course accepts. absolutely reverential about being chosen. after all he and todoroki talked it out and both agreed they were going to fully commit to this, so its totally okay he’s 100% invested in being kaachan’s husband for a week.

cut to bkdk having an absolutely xander/yoli of a lovefest week x1000. just meshing perfectly together, and after their first kiss all bets are off and they absolutely sleep together (bakugo definitely gets off on being better in bed than todoroki) (who is absolutely adequate izuku just has a higher libido and more kinks ok) (this definitely came up on their date together much to izuku’s mortification of saying so on camera and bakugo has been thinking about it since) and bakugo is like…all in. he loves kirishima but they’ve been growing apart and he’s all in with deku like fuck. meanwhile deka is also head over heels but having the occasional existential crisis about todoroki. who is perfect and deserves all the love.

and so bkdk end up married and grossly in love; todoroki decides nothing will piss off his dad more than getting engaged to a guy he hasn’t known for more than a week and ends up engaged inasa; kirishima either gets with kaminari or back with mina idk

Tl;dr bkdk love all around #lovewins

#bkdk #bakudeku #the ultimatum queer love #i just can see todoroki deadpanning to the camera ‘the first thing i noticed about inasa is that he is stacked #me and my grossly long fic ideas i want to read instead of getting my ass together to write #idk if you realize how many drafts of detailed bkdk fics i have that i am incapable of finishing #me with every new ship tbh #my posts

20 notes · View notes

eemcintyre · 1 month

Text

"Seawolf: The Pirate's Curse" (2005) review

Surprisingly, honestly... why did I enjoy this? I guess after a couple of major misses for me in the form of "The Kidnapping" and "Beyond Forgiveness", my expectations were appropriately low, but this one actually had some likable characters and humor, and that always manages to rope me in. I have a soft spot for fun, silly action fare like this bc of childhood shows like "The Greatest American Hero", I think.

So, the title never makes any sense... what was it supposed to mean? what curse?

First and foremost, I must say TIG is looking oh-so-very pretty and rugged here- the necklaces, the bandanas, the curly-q hair, the tank tops, the sweaty, the ARMMMSSSS 😩

Initially had absolutely no clue what was going on in the beginning; a bunch of people with weird ass outfits in the dark and I was just like please no don't let that be him in the damn fucking cape and eyepatch and o n e l e g; I was like he can't possibly have one leg the whole time, right?? 🤨

But yeah I was definitely experiencing the "dear God what did I get myself into, cheers to another awful mess" 🫡🥂

Why does half the audio sound dubbed (particularly everything that comes out of Rachel's mouth)? Also props to Rachel for being the most emotionally unaffected person ever bc her reactions were so disproportionately calm to what would happen if my bf was constantly disappearing overseas and totaled my gorgeous pink car

We're getting some very Max Parrish-type hooting and hollering up in here; a concise summary of Thorpe is that he's basically if Max had a boat and was an alcoholic instead of a drug addict

We get another hallmark of TIG's movies with a slew of incredibly cringe one-liners that elicit a physical reaction of pain from me, but for every few there was actually a genuinely funny one here and there, so I'll allow it this time...

The whole "I'm a pirate, my father was a pirate, etc." speech had me ROLLING and NOT IN THE WAY THE WRITERS INTENDED I THINK BC HUH??

When he met Helene in that random room full of paintings I was sure we were supposed to take it that the mission was smth art theft-related. but no she just has a passion for maximalist design ig.

Why does the camera get randomly shaky for no reason? Very avant-garde of them

Am I the only one who thinks that Carlos looks like a Walmart George Clooney? Someone else pls tell me I'm not insane

Always throws me off-guard but it's such fun to see TIG in an uncharacteristically light scene like the one where he's dancing in the parade and surrounded by the circle of dancers in the bar. At least he seemed like he was having a good time in this movie 🎉

Ramon and his lil book and the bar scene of Thorpe and Helene drunkenly arguing w each other and sitting on the side of the road was what really started to sell me

anD THEN HE FKIN DR A G S HER ASS 😂

Plus I cannot go without mentioning my appreciation for the way he was holding her knee 👀💕

Love how he spends the majority of this movie just dressed like someone's hot dad who works out, in his cargo shorts, tank top and goatee- oH WAIT IT'S BC HE IS A HOT DAD WHO WORKS OUT IN REAL LIFE

Love how Carlos and all the other villains are devoid of personality or motive except for ~money~, like "the Colonel" doesn't even have a name!!!

Was genuinely stressed that my boy was going to clock himself in the head when he was swinging that rope trying to scale that building

When Helene straight-up PUNCHED HER SISTER IN THE FACE like these ladies have some beef and I need to know where it stems from

This film is another great example of TIG's grossly underutilized comedic potential- a là the map reading scene

Hilarious how Carlos just shrugs like "I don't care, whatever I guess" when who he believes to be Marlena says she wants to say a dramatic goodbye to Thorpe

Ok but how did he not die?? Thank goodness but how??

Even more hilarious how the Colonel, who has had nothing but hatred and murderous intent for Thorpe throughout, is just so touched by Thorpe's being a ✨ big softie with morals ✨ that his vengeful compulsions are soothed and he's content with taking the gold like "hey bro, we're square now <3" and just fuckin walks away

Good on them for giving the treasure back to Mexico

Was legit concerned for too long there that they weren't actually going to end up together and I was screeching

DO THEY ACTUALLY USE THE SAME SHOT OF THE BOAT AT SUNSET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE AND AT THE END?? lmaooo

Honestly, I think they could have leaned even more into the humorous aspect and the treasure hunt part of the film; made it a bit more of a National Treasure/Indiana Jones sort of thing, and I definitely would have liked some more character development, esp. for the sidekicks and villains, but overall, I award this film an unexpected 6/10. I had a good time 🙃🩷

#thomas ian griffith #the pirate's curse #seawolf #seawolf: the pirate's curse #jeffrey thorpe #film review #movie review

8 notes · View notes

chapitre7 · 3 months

Text

Oasis

แฟนผมเป็นประธานนักเรียน | My School President fanfiction

Tinn Tinnaphob Jirawatthanakul/Gun Guntaphon Wongwitthaya

3.7k words

on learning how to live without fear of loss

Read on AO3

“...n. Gun. Are you listening?”

Gun focuses back on his kitchen, his soggy instant noodles, and his boyfriend on the phone.

“Yeah. Of course. You—”

He hears a sigh from the other side of the line.

“Have you slept well since you got back? Are you eating well?”

He slouches on his chair. He can absolutely take care of himself.

“I can take care of myself, Tinn,” he says as much.

“I know you can,” says Tinn, his voice softer, a lot less like a doctor and more like the man he’s in love with.

Not that Gun minds doctor Tinnaphob. He loves him too. But he’s tired, and finally back home after a full month of promotions and concerts and public appearances, and his boyfriend is several miles away and he can’t be with him.

“I just don’t want you to sulk,” Tinn continues, as Gun slurps up some of his noodles. They’re not that bad.

“I’m not sulking. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be upset that I can’t attend my boyfriend’s first conference.”

“They’re grossly overrated, you know,” Tinn says, and from the breathy sound of his voice, Gun can tell that he just lied down on his hotel bed. He probably has a great view from his window. Gun can see a few skinny stray cats from his bedroom window sometimes, and they even look up at him when he makes sounds at them.

“I know I’m too stupid for them—”

“Gun—”

“—but I wouldn’t even make a sound in the audience! They’d let me in.”

“Gun, you’re not stupid. It’s just not your area, and that’s okay. You can sing flawlessly in at least four different languages.”

Gun pushes his bowl of soggy noodles away to lean both his elbows on the table and hide his face in his arms, as if it would help him with Tinn on the other side of the line.

“Yeah, but I don’t speak them. It’s just for the songs.”

“Baby,” Tinn says, and it’s unfair, because Gun is upset and he’s self-deprecating and Tinn’s voice is so sweet and he’s several cities away. “We can figure something out next time, okay? Don’t worry too much about it.”

“Okay,” Gun says, trying to sound like he’s not a seventeen-year-old anymore. And he’s not. He hasn’t been for some time now. It’s just...

“Will you tell me what’s really bothering you now?”

He really does wonder if Tinn can read his mind sometimes. Probably not. Would have made their dating in high school a bit different. Not too much, but a bit. Tinn still gets flustered when Gun professes his love for him, just like that day in the hospital, that many years ago, when he first told him he wanted to sing a song just for him. What would he have said if he could read all of Gun’s thoughts for him?

“I just want to be there for your accomplishments, that’s all,” he says, and Tinn is silent for a beat, and maybe he spoke too quietly, he does that sometimes, so he’s ready to rephrase it into something a bit... less when Tinn is speaking again.

“You are. Gun, you are there for me. You take care of me so much better than you take care of yourself that it honestly drives me a little crazy sometimes. But I’m really so— Gun, I don’t know if I’d have gotten here without you.”

Gun’s voice is muffled when he speaks next, as he tries to hide away further. “I do take care of myself.”

“You do,” Tinn says, voice crystal clear and kind, like the finest, perfect note of a tuned piano. “But I take better care of you just as you take better care of me, not because we owe each other but because it makes us happy to do so, hmm?”

Gun hums back, because it’s true. Tinn would have probably asked for takeout if they were both too tired to cook. Gun should have done that, damn it.

He wants Tinn back already, but he’s not selfish enough to say it.

“Do you ever get this upset when I can’t attend your concerts?”

He does get upset. But Tinn makes it to every concert he can, and by the time Gun sees him in the audience, he’s already forgotten those where Tinn had been absent.

“No,” he says, and means it.

“Do you feel I don’t support you enough? Be honest—”

“Tinn.”

“Gun.”

“I’d never feel that way. You know that, right?”

Tinn has to know. He has to. After all these years, all the times Tinn stayed up with him when he was scared about his future, anxious about failing, or just too damn wired about tomorrow to sleep and Tinn just listened, held him, looked over Gun’s papers and lyrics as if they were just important as all of Tinn’s books, how could Gun ever ask him to do more? He was already just quite...

Was everything too much to say?

“I know,” Tinn says, and he sighs again, and Gun feels the distance gets to him just as much. But Tinn knows, and it feels criminal that Gun can’t hold him about it. “So why would you feel that way about yourself?”

Gun hits his head against the table, and regrets it, because Tinn probably heard it.

“Because I’m dumb.”

“Gun. We have talked about this.”

“Okay, so I am sulking.”

He’s also pouting, and he almost wants to switch to a video call so he can throw it at Tinn.

“Is that just it though? You’re allowed to sulk, even if I’m not happy you’re doing it alone, but—”

“See? Now we’re both suffering from unimaginable unfairness.”

He huffs a laughter, and hears Tinn let out a chuckle from his side. The line goes quiet. There’s no sound coming from Gun’s closed windows, no music in the background, and Tinn’s breathing is quiet. Gun closes his eyes, his cheek against the table, and tries to imagine he’s lying on Tinn’s chest, so he can feel him breathe, more soothing than any lullaby.

“You should go to bed. You know mom doesn’t like it when you drive when you’re tired.”

Gun has to agree, picking himself up from the table and bringing his bowl to the sink.

“Yeah, okay.”

“I love you.”

Gun stops by the sink, turning the faucet off. He smiles at the unremarkable window in his kitchen, form which he can see only darkness at this hour.

“Sing me a song before you go.”

He hears a noise from Tinn’s side. It’s not exactly a snort or a giggle, but a very distinct noise Tinn makes when he’s embarrassed. It’s one of Gun’s favorite sounds in the world, but he just loves Tinn’s singing more. He loves those precious moments when Tinn trusts him with his voice.

“Okay. For my number one fan.”

Gun tries not to make any noise as he washes his dishes. Tinn is still singing by the time he’s in bed, calm and not quite as sulky, and his head finally quiet.

***

He’s at the sink when his mom asks, “So when are you going to spill it?”

“Huh?”

He doesn’t think he’s been planning on spill anything. His mom rolls her eyes at him, and he didn’t think he had done anything wrong just yet, he got there just two days ago?

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you so bad that I could see it the moment you walked through that door.”

Gun pouts, turning to look at the bowls in the sink, his hands still covered in dish soap.

He doesn’t want to lie, but putting his feelings into words has always been difficult for him, no matter how many songs he’s written in his career. It’s easier to sing his feelings out, to carry on for a few minutes, hit the high notes and then let them fade out. There’s hardly a follow up to that.

Gun’s not scared of talking about his feelings. The people he opens up to would never hurt him.

It’s the words themselves that struggle to form, heavy in his system like he can’t digest them.

Tinn has definitely noticed, but he’s been kind. Mostly because Gun hasn’t spent much time alone with him since he came back from his conference and joined Gun at the shop.

Gun looks over his shoulder, and sees Tinn at the register, putting his phone away and smiling when a customer arrives. He’s probably still tired, but too stubborn to rest while Gun is helping out at the shop. Gun has been counting the minutes until he snaps and kicks Tinn upstairs to lie the fuck down.

He turns his face back down at the sink, and says, “I talked about dad in a recent interview.”

He’s not looking at his mom but he can hear her coming closer, until he can see her in his peripheral vision. He keeps his eyes down.

“It was a good memory. I liked talking about him. It’s just...”

His mom doesn’t touch him or place an arm around his shoulders or hug him. She leans her hip against the sink and crosses her arms and looks closely at his face, even though he’s still looking away. If Tinn sees her touch him, he’ll know. He’ll be worried. Gun isn’t crying. He’s not even sad. He finds himself smiling, actually, just at the mention of his dad. But it fades away, dims like sunlight behind a curtain.

“I spend so much time away from Tinn and you and my friends now. Is it okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be okay, dear? You’re doing what you love, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he answers easily. “Yeah, but...”

“We understand, you know. We’re happy for you, and proud. Tinn sends me everything he can, I couldn’t possibly miss it.”

“It’s not that,” he says, and finally looks at her.

He used to have to look up to meet her eyes. Now there are pretty wrinkles at the corner of her eyes when she looks up at him, her favorite shade of lipstick still on her lips.

“What is it then?”

He turns on the faucet, and starts rinsing the bowls. Over the sound of the running water, he says, “I’m scared that any moment might be the last time I talk or see you.”

His mom doesn’t say anything. He keeps up with his mechanical task, pretending there are no tears in his eyes. When the last of the bowls and spoons are put away, his mom turns the faucet off. She touches his cheeks and wipes the tears before they fall, and then she brings her hands up to brush his hair, as if he’s still a disheveled teenager.

“You must have missed us very much.”

He nods, drying his hands on his apron and trying really hard to keep eye contact.

“You know, not many people have a home to come back to.”

Her eyes are on him, but she’s seeing something else. He can tell how long she spends there, looking past him and remembering him as well. He feels bad for it, but she doesn’t cry as much anymore. She doesn’t cry now.

“You need to go out there, and live out your career, eat well, sleep well when you can.” She unties his apron and pulls it over his head, patting down his clothes to get of any wrinkles. “And at the end of the day, or the week, or the month, you pick the safest way home, where we’ll be waiting for you.” She places her hands on his neck, the weight of them more comforting than any blanket. “It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Don’t ever rush it. Take your time. You don’t ever need to rush anything, dear.”

Tinn has definitely seen them by now. Gun tries not to move or give anything away. Even if Tinn will be able to tell. He can always tell.

“Don’t ever keep your fears to yourself, okay? Talk to Tinn. They’ll grow too big if you keep them to yourself for too long. And...”

She pats him on the cheek.

“You can’t always think about the end like that. If you think about the end all the time, you won’t get to live the middle, and wouldn’t that be terribly lonely?”

He chews on his lower lip, and finally looks down. His mom messes up the hair that she had just brushed into place moments ago.

“Take Tinn upstairs, he’s yawned more in the past hour than I’ve ever seen him do since I met him. Order some food, take a nap. I’ll close up soon.”

Gun nods at her, giving her a hug. She pats his back, her hand soothingly moving up and down, then moves back and shoos him away. Gun can’t help but chuckle.

He walks to Tinn and hopes his eyes aren’t too red. Either way, he doesn’t make a lot of eye contact before he’s saying, “And you’re done here,” moving to untie Tinn’s apron.

“But—”

“Boss orders, come on.”

He takes Tinn upstairs by the hand, assuming the lead. Once in his room — their room, every time they stay over — he tells Tinn to shower first, nodding along to his complaints, but nonetheless pushing him out of the room with clean clothes in his hands.

His room hasn’t changed much since he moved out. There are old clothes that still fit him somehow, as well as worn-out shoes that he should really put away. The bed is new, and bigger. The family portraits are still in the same place they have ever been, not a speck of dust on them. His old guitar sleeps in its case in the corner, and he makes a mental note to check which strings need to be replaced. Even though he hasn’t taken it to his new place, he doesn’t neglect it. There are too many memories in it. Bad times, good times. One song on a certain birthday, many years ago now.

Gun only notices he’s given his own clothes to Tinn when he walks back into the room. He puts his phone down and beckons Tinn over so he can dry his hair for him. He can see Tinn’s shoulders rising and falling as he sighs, not out of weariness, but like a cat, comfortable and pleased, right before it falls asleep.

“Mom said we should rest a bit. She’ll call us when dinner’s ready.”

Tinn hums before he says, “I’ll wait until you’ve done showering.”

Tinn’s habit of waiting for him even when he’s exhausted always fills Gun with both endearment and exasperation. He throws the towel to the side and wraps his arms around Tinn’s middle from behind, hugging him tightly. Tinn lets out a little oof just to be dramatic, but he places his hands over Gun’s and keeps them there.

Gun sits there, with his world in his arms, and his mind is in complete silence. He just touches his forehead to Tinn’s shoulder, closes his eyes and breathes in. Time doesn’t seem to be running out. It’s a standstill, and he doesn’t have to move or rush or be anything or be anywhere. He’s here. Tinn is here. Mom is here. Sound sent him a message in their groupchat earlier, and slowly, the orange afternoon will fade into a purple dusk.

Gun breathes. Tinn smells like lemons and clean clothes. He’s wearing his clothes. He’ll fall asleep in Gun’s arms if Gun doesn’t get up to shower, but then, just then, Gun keeps holding him.

Letting go of Tinn still sends a wave of uneasiness through him, but he’s spent a long time away from Tinn. And he needs sleep. Maybe if he wakes up by Tinn’s side later, he’ll feel content enough to remember that it’s not going to end. Not like this. Or any time soon.

“Wait,” Tinn says when he gets up from the bed, and Gun blinks as Tinn gently pulls him back to the bed.

Tinn gets up and walks to his suitcase. His clothes and possessions are always neatly organized, so it doesn’t take long until he’s found what he’s looking for.

At first, Gun is confused at the sheet of paper. It’s obviously from one of Tinn’s notepads, the ones Gun has constantly tried to get Tinn to retire because he could just use his tablet, for God’s sakes, but Tinn insists on using because he prefers writing by hand. And Gun, who writes all of his song lyrics in a notebook he keeps with himself at all times, can only roll his eyes at him.

He thinks it might be notes from Tinn’s conference, but once he starts reading, it’s clear they have nothing to do with medicine. It’s…

“I couldn’t sleep the first night,” Tinn says, “so I just… well…”

“Tinn,” Gun starts, then stops. He puts the sheet down and looks at Tinn, who’s fidgeting in a way Gun hasn’t seen in a long time. “Baby,” Gun starts again, touching Tinn’s wrist and gently pulling him to sit down by his side. “Did you write a song?”

“It’s for you,” Tinn says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world to admit. Gun stares. “I mean, I can’t really compose on my own, and I didn’t have a guitar with me, and it’s meant for you to sing, so I thought you could—”

“Tinn,” Gun repeats, and Tinn stops, looks at his eyes. “You wrote me a song?”

Tinn smiles, finally. A small, timid thing. Gun wants to cry and kiss him and hit him and kiss him and cry some more, all at once.

“Do you like it?”

Gun forces himself to look down at the sheet again. Tinn’s handwriting is a bit messier now, after years in med school, but he must have rewritten it until it was presentable for him. He looks at the words, at every meaning interwoven in them, about staying with him wherever they are, being his home, his comfort, his safe harbor. Despite everything and everyone and even after everything and everyone. I will always be…

Gun throws himself at Tinn, and they both fall over on the bed. He’s saying “I love it” and “I love you” in such quick succession and with such emotion but he’s not worried about Tinn understanding him because he will. He does. Everything, all the things Gun doesn’t say, even if Tinn doesn’t know completely, every worry and thought that crosses his mind, Tinn is there, keeping them all in a safe net. Keeping him safe. Until he can pick himself up again.

Gun clings to him until his breathing stabilizes again, and then Tinn is softly saying, “You should shower,” and he goes, because he doesn’t want to waste a minute more.

There’s already a melody in his head as he showers, as he gets dressed, as he climbs in bed with Tinn. Maybe by the time he wakes up again, the song will be fully formed, and Gun will be able to present it, however imperfect it may be, to his biggest loves, on the stage in his mom’s shop that means so much to them all.

“Gun,” Tinn says, voice heavy with sleep. Gum hums back, to signalize that he’s listening. “I can handle the shop tomorrow, you should go out with your mom.”

Without opening his eyes, Gun says, “If I can convince her to go out. But why do you say that?”

“It’s been some time since you came over. You should spend some time together. Don’t worry about anything else.”

Gun can feel Tinn’s chest moving up and down with his calm breathing as they hold each other close. His hand on Gun’s back is still lulling him to sleep with soothing motions. His leg over Gun’s is a welcome weight, one Gun misses to the point of ache when they’re apart.

Tinn shuts down all of Gun’s worries just by being himself. Didn’t he know? He should know. He should.

“We should all go out together,” he says.

To live in the middle, instead of the end.

“Do you think she’d like that?”

Gun snuggles impossibly closer, his nose brushing against Tinn’s neck.

“I do.”

One of them falls asleep first. Which one, it’s impossible to tell. Limbs, breathing, hearts — they’re all tangled together as one.

As for their tomorrows, only Gun would know. As long as he let them come, one after another, after another, after another, never once too scared to say, “I love you. Take care.”

As long as they share the same sky, his feet would bring him back to the ones he loves.

***

ต่อให้วันที่ฟ้าไม่เป็นใจ ต่อให้วันที่ลมหนาวเท่าไร

Even when the day the sky is not happy, no matter how cold the day is

ต่อให้เธอต้องเจอเรื่องร้ายๆ สักแค่ไหน

No matter how bad things have happened to you

ขอแค่เธอหันมา และไม่ว่าเนิ่นนานเท่าไร

I just want you to turn around, and no matter how long it be

และไม่ว่าเธอไม่มีใคร

And when you don't have anyone

จะมีฉันที่คอยดูแลเป็นที่พักใจ

You have me who'll take care of you as a place to stay

I will always be your Oasis

Patrickananda – Oasis

#My School President #oneyearofmsp #TinnGun #tinn tinnaphob #gun guntaphon #GeminiFourth #post-end

6 notes · View notes

cherryphobe · 6 days

Text

I cant even say its 'false allegations' cuz its Not im not Denying any truths but it is Grossly Misinformed many ppl telling me it feels intentionally insidious to paint me as a predator as if this isnt a 12 yr old thing that happened Once between two kids who had known each other nearly their entire lives prior. Idk man. Fuck! Fuck. I'm not even going around saying this persons lying or that I'm not at fault I'm just saying. I remember it differently. & to accuse me of fucking grooming them when we met when I was like???? TEN??????? To try to say I'm a pedophile??????? & on top of it all people just fucking BELIEVED IT WITHOUT EVER SPEAKING TO ME man that shit SUCKS i cant deal w it. Im not dealing w it well lmao. But i can barely even talk abt it without even feeling like im trying to make myself out to be ~the victim~ cuz im not. Im fucking not. This all just sucks. This all fucking sucks. So many people are trying to remind me im fine & they know me & they know im not the person theyre trying to paint me to be but its hard when really. Important Loved Close Friends wont speak to me & i cant even blame them cuz its alot to process i just fucking hate this lmao. Fuck.

#ignore me again! im having a bad time i think im just pmsing so it all feels like cranked up to 1000000

4 notes · View notes

cariciapadre · 1 year

Text

cariciapadre enemies to lovers where even though they despise each other they also cannot help but be grossly in love w each other because GRAGHHHHH WUUA

#unicorn wars #sargento caricias #padre #i literally never liked enemies to lovers until i watched uw #theyre so in love #WAHHHHH

12 notes · View notes

sunlightandsuffering · 2 years

Note

rather than a cutesy handholding couple, eremika is such a 'badass girlfriend holding onto boyfriend's arm + chill (think sleazy, but w/o the negative connotations - soz english is so hard to use today lmao) boyfriend who'd naggingly question it if girlfriend doesn't do so'

ofc they'd hold hands and all too, but in my head, for most of the time, in a universe where they could allow themselves to love each other slowly without the intense 'oh my lord, titans!! we're gonna die!! j won't ever tell you my feelings because i want to protect you!! but i wanna be with you!! i'll also die soon btw so sucks' background snk has lmao, they'd be this kind of couple. emphasis on 'badass' because while mika is lovesick, she's just really cool in general & the lovesick part is only for ereh lol

Ahaha this is cute i'd agree with this notion lol. I don't think they're cringe about it, I think they're very playful and cute! Lots of stealing Eren's hoodie and stuff like that!!! they're not like grossly PDA lol it's very understated and cool as u say !

8 notes · View notes

ellovett · 2 years

Note

If you wish, what about 🐇🌺🐬 with 3Chers for the OTP HC questions? Well, technically it's more of an OT3 thing. But close enough, right?

YASSSS OFC ALLANA !!!

🐇 - Who wants to cuddle the other longer in the morning?

It's Jesse ! He loves pretending to b asleep and just laying down w their partners, so much so that often times he's disappointed when he sees the sun rising. If they're willing, the three of them would stay in bed for five more minutes, maybe 10, or 30.

🌺 - Do they send cutesy or grossly sweet/romantic texts to each other?

Not rlly, they're more tame abt their affection even over text, the one person that does smthn remotely similar to that would be Lillet, though she'd just send a handful of heart emoticons and the casual praise at most.

🐬 - Who made the first move?

I like to think that Divus did,,,Idk how tho !! I just like to think that he's the one that initiated the relationship gkdkf it'd be ironic considering how stubborn he is abt his feeling especially towards Jesse.

#thank you for the ask allana!#admin answers #admin post #3chers nation rise

4 notes · View notes

hansrlow · 2 years

Text

i saw the cats national tour, these are my act two thoughts

my act one thoughts

im not gonna paste the entire cast list again bc its too long aaaahhh

The Moments of Happiness: old deut comes out on stage like, halfway through intermission ? and the next cats out at the start of act 2 are cassandra and the psychic twins. I enjoy how the psychic twins Bop sillabub on the head to get her to sing the lines from memory . its adorable. after everyone sings the lines from memory, old Deuteronomy leaves the stage

Gus The Theater Cat: because john was playing old deuteronomy literally right before GTTC starts, Kayli has to start the song alone. When gus finally does make it out on stage, a small group of cats forms at his feet, most notably the two kittens and Mungorump. Rumpleteazer stuck her tongue out at sillabub at one point and made silly upset :( , and then I think they also bullied Pouncival a bit too? I was busy looking at tugger and then heard a bit of audience laughter and then looked back to The Group and seen an upset pounce, but idk what they did to him . Gus’ blood curdling noise was wonderful and zuggers reaction was adorable

The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles: gus, mid-sentence, forgets the rest of the title (I think starting at intervention?) and munk helps him out which i find very sweet . tugger and jenny help Rumpleteazer get into Dog Gear before her barking match against Pouncival. After the barking match, rump keeps her dog gear on, but pounce goes and sits on the tire w/ silly and tugger (who was Very into the performance) the entrance of the great rumpus cat was top notch . I love the lighting in this show

Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat: (theres a train going by as im typing this how fitting) because of the lack of an old deuteronomy, rump has to start the song all by herself and she does a great job and im very proud of her . after that Skimble runs up to the top of the car and pretends to be asleep for the “Skimble? Where is Skimble?” line which like . thank u sean . also sean is an absolutely adorable and amazing Skimble. legit couldn’t tell that this was only his third (!!!) time in the role. and to the surprise of no one, zugger also had adorable reactions during this song, and during the part where Skimble is describing to the kittens how humans act on the train, tugger goes onto the tire next to Munkustrap and starts doing some Hip Thrusts and Wiggles TM . and then Munkustrap, in a surprising turn of events, ALSO starts thrusting them. Which surprised not only me but also seemingly surprised munk (and tugger) before he decided to Just Go With It. And then old deut shows up at the very very end, like literally just to get kidnapped by henchman!pounce

Macavity: ok so when Macavity shows up its like . legitimately a little bit frightening bc it was very loud . connor did an incredible job as Macavity though kudos to him. As for the actual song ,,,, I am very in love with both lauren and Chelsea and they both did such a good good job. Chelsea specifically has such a good, deep bomba voice im in love

Macavity Fight: ok I really don’t have much to say about this other than the part where Macavity and Munkustrap are both really low to the ground, you know . this part ?

devon was like . literally On The Floor during that part he was so low to the ground . also ! I love alonzos lil powerup moment he goes through after munk gets wrecked, its very sweet.

Mr. Mistoffelees: after tugger says “you ought to ask magical mr Mistoffelees” everyone starts to leave the stage, and then he says the “listen to me and don’t scoff” line. I was watching munk and demeter during this part and found it interesting that even after tugger said that, munk still looked like he wanted to leave, but demeter tapped him and convinced him to stay. Paul as misto is incredible. Hes an absolutely wonderful dancer, and I love how the broadway revival went HARD on making it clear that misto deals with light magic (he does lighting stuff in jennys song, in tuggers song, in the ball, and in TABOTPATP) hes just a cute lil light up boy and I love him a lot . pauls misto also clearly has Main Character Syndrome and i think thats perfect . after he brings old deut back, (and after tugger credits him for bringing old deut back,) tugger and misto do a lil paw touch and a head nuzzle, was very cute. (side note: misto has a bunch of really cute moments w a few characters, namely bomba, rump, and demeter)

Memory: im going to repeat this one last time: kelliann decarlo is an amazing Grizabella . but also ? bri is the most adorable sillabub, and together they formed one of my favorite renditions of memory . its just got so much Emotion in it..

The Journey to the Heaviside Layer: my only comment about this song is that Mistoffelees was the only cat who DIDN’T touch Grizabella and I don’t know why

The Ad-Dressing of Cats: the audience loved this one because of the poses the cats would take, but my one true thought is “goddamn misto is so close to that tire isn’t he” like . hes clearly supposed to be looking at old Deuteronomy but I do not think that paul is able to actually see old deut from the angle hes at.

Ive got two notes on the bows: zach and I made a Very brief moment of eye contact, and after doing some Shimmies with Mungojerrie, tugger is beckoned over by misto and they do some shimmies, a paw touch, and another head nuzzle. oh and i guess a third note would be that kieran does the first bow (the pouncival bow) AND the last bow (the tumble bow, he doesnt flip but he does do some cool Jumps) and honestly im so proud of him and he deserves both bows

#cats the musical #i would make a character specific post but im Tired and the only characters id talk about would be tugger and misto #and some stuff about alonzo munk and mungorump #to sum it up i love max's lil nasty mungo and i just love rumps personality in general but kelly is so so good #i loved when she lightly bullied sillabub #and alonzo and munk .. i know they play them as just besties but .#munk and lonz felt kinda like they're more than just friends #i mean clearly munk is with demeter but . there were some Looks and some Moments where it felt . to me at least . that munk and alonzo have #tried being together and are still really close #that reminds me there were a few moments during the ball i believe where munk and deme were like #grossly in love w each other

2 notes · View notes

prcserpina · 5 years

Text

i know it’ll sound very very stupid but the very small interactions with the people in my life rn are making me so goddamn happy. like i rang harry this morning bc he’s my lab partner for this year and we had a deadline for a form we needed to submit together. & we did all that and then somehow ended up talking for one and a half hours, like it was meant to be an admin phone call but instead we talked and laughed for so long and the time just flew by n i’m sitting here thinking. we briefly met in a jazz bar 7 months ago. didn’t talk at all for 4 months. then happened to spend our last day in a foreign country together. then grabbed coffee twice in the few days we had before going home from uni for summer and then i didn’t see him for 3 months. and now he’s my lab partner but also very quickly becoming a rly rly dear friend and like. how crazy. from getting to know each other on the last day of a trip we were on before the summer to working together & becoming rly good friends in the autumn. i love <3

#n the rafa + the lads from our flat last yr n i have gone out together twice this week n we're starting to have a cute little scientists #of 302 squad. + the girls are moving into our flat for this yr n already i can tell it's gonna be such a sweet dynamic between us #+ met my physics children & giada n i are mothering them together and we hadn't seen each other all summer n it was so fun to be together #again + we have SUCH a great group of kids #+ elia has come back and i haven't seen him since june either #i'm just so excited n like grossly filled w love for my old friends & especially the new ones. so fucking happy to be back at uni #but also 'fucking happy to be back at uni' is retracted because this hw i am doing. vile.#diary

15 notes · View notes

swanwinged-princess · 5 years

Text

ANYWAY

i’m finally done w high school... forever.... picked up my diploma 2day and returned the borrowed cap+gown and thats it. like i dont have to go back.

SO i’ll probs start to be a little more active for a while- i was stressed the FUCK out recently bc my mom pressured me into participating in the graduation ceremony bc her mom (my grandma) was kicking up a fuss that i didn’t wanna walk across the stupid stage

like i’m mad and upset and also all out of fucks to give at the same time but my grandma is a manipulative/exhausting/stressful-ass woman to interact with and my mom basically made me do it to stop grandma from crying at her about it

and then the whole thing made ME super stressed and mad because i was doing this thing that i ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T WANT TO DO because of my grandparents who have been absolutely draining/an active problem in my life for YEARS and i was too anxious + upset to even go to my town’s pride day which was a really fuckin big thing for me

and i was basically crying in the lobby of the convention center where all the graduates were waiting to get through the metal detectors bc pride was still happening literally across the river and in the park and i could have just dropped my cap and gown and ditched and run across the bridge to join pride and like...

i COULDVE because i’m a fucking adult and i can make my own choices and decide what’s important for myself but also i knew that my mom and my grandparents wouldve made my life a living HELL if i did that even if my dad and brother would have been on my side

bc my mom is still seeking her mom’s approval even though the woman is almost definitely a literal narcissist and can’t even seem to make up her mind about what would win her approval in the first place, and even though the past several years have been all about me getting more independent and deciding what to do with my own life and making my own choices and all that crap i have to knowingly fuck up my own life and what’s important to me because my fucking grandparents wanted to see me wearing a disposable tablecloth-material rectangle on my head and body and receive an empty photo holder from a woman i’ve never met who was actively crying and even actually tried to hug me

(i saw her moving in and immediately stepped back; my dad said it was hilarious to watch so like... thats one good thing i guess...)

instead of going out and celebrating the fact that i’m a girl who loves girls and remembering all the people like me and who supported people like me who sacrificed so much to get us to the point where i can dress up in ridiculous frilly outfits and go out and celebrate being a girl-loving girl, and i have to give that up because they’re old and lowkey dying like... cool. tight.

i hate to sound insensitive but i honestly find both of them really damn toxic and i just feel like bowing to their demands (or manipulative whiny bullshit) regardless of the circumstances is just weaving me and my whole family (especially my mom) deeper into their web of crazy and

i’m honestly kinda fucking worried about my mom and her relationship with my grandma. i know that having a narcissistic mom can do a number on kids and my mom is so fucking strong and cool and awesome and i think she can do so much and already HAS done so much

but when it comes to her mom she has this attitude where she’s like ‘i don’t care about what she thinks, i think she’s crazy and exhausting and i live my life how i want’

but i can tell that she really DOES care what she thinks. especially when it comes to what grandma thinks about me and my brothers’ lives/upbringings/etc.

...idk i really just don’t think it’s healthy for her or anybody to do what they want

i know they’re old and my grandma’s health is deteriorating rapidly and i know they’re my mom’s parents but....

maybe because i’m a level removed from the situation i feel like i can see what my mom can’t/doesn’t want to see and i have no tolerance for their bee-ess anymore

...the point is i’m gonna try to be a lil more active now; i can feel my muse juuuust barely starting to bud again after the long period where all my energy was channeled into just. pure survival of the end of public education and all the running around and nonsense that that entailed

#{I'll Be Your Lucky Girl; mun tag}#wow that got.... long #guess i just have a lot of feelings about this huh #my family is complicateeeeeeeeeed #usually i see/talk to ppl who have tough relationships w their parents #like in group therapy/support groups/the 'boarding school' i lived in for a while #and also online #and at school #meanwhile im over here like.... no my parents are still married/grossly in love #and theyre both cool and fun and smart #obviously sometimes we fight but ultimately were all friends/love each other #its actually my GRANDPARENTS that i cant fuckin stand #like baking cookies and goin to dinky little local fairs+carnivals who????#i only know STRESS and MANIPULATION and MARTYR-COMPLEX CRYING THAT 'MY GRANDDAUGHTER DOESN'T LIKE ME'#and CONSTANT SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER #like these 2 people only exist to verbally abuse each other #~and i frankly don't have the patience to deal with it anymore~#i b 21 years old ffs #and from now on now that im out of the k-12 garbage system i wanna focus on me and help myself heal/build a life/healthy outlook #that the aforementioned garbage education system never allowed me #~and giving in to such blatant manipulation isn't fuckin gonna help me do that~#....ok im done

3 notes · View notes