I'm still here.
I work for a school directly now and we've finished a school year.
This was me at one point trying to find an apartment in China:
I was legit considering living in a hotel because of this. I posted on WeChat explaining the situation and the secondhand embarrassment my local acquaintances experienced moved two in particular to step in and help me find a place to stay.
I didn't want to talk to the school's HR because she was hounding me about why I didnt have a Chinese girlfriend. She asked with her whole chest during the interview if I was changing jobs because of a woman.
Even as a fluent Chinese speaker, going to those housing agencies and watching them call up landlords and explain to them that a foreigner wants to rent, only to overhear the landlord asking "white? or black?" was never not embarrassing.
Everyone was all "dial 123456 and report them!" Tried that. I was all automated prompts which then lead to an app I had to download but then couldn't use because I didn't have a Chinese ID. No surprise, honestly, but was worth the shot I guess? (A lot of institutions are designed on purpose to be exhausting. You can know this in a place like China because they'll tell you straight up: If you wanna complain about is, dial this number. Good luck lol)
It was only luck that the person who reached out to help me was the random gym trainer who added my WeChat after searching for a place to workout literally 2 days prior.
Fast forward to now. School's out. Typical shenanigans: students making accidentally racist microaggressions. One kid commented that "it doesn't look right having a teacher who should be a rapper or basketball player; I don't think you're professional and can't take you seriously." And after the whole apartment malarkey, I could only give him a look, shrug my shoulders, chuckle at his inbred ignorance and keep teaching. Too tired to give the you-probably-haven't-learned-this-about-yourself-yet-but-you're-racist talk. It's 2020something, I'm saving my energy.
I'm just here to save up to leave. That's all. I now have friends in a different country and I'm working to collaberate with their career endeavors more intensively.
I'll be out of here soon enough. Just need to get a few things in order.
534 notes
·
View notes
GUANGZHOU, CHINA - APRIL 9, 2005: (CHINA OUT) Miss Afghanistan Vida Sanadzai performs during the national costume demonstration at the 36th Miss Asia Pacific International Pageant on April 9, 2005, in Guangzhou of Guangdong Province, China. Miss Costa Rica Leonora Jimenez Monge won the championship, Miss Russia Eugeniya Lapova and Miss China Zhang Liru got second and third place.
143 notes
·
View notes
Neon
I find comfort under neon lights,
These synthetic stars
That sometimes scare - familiar faces
In the places tickled “prior;”
Perches where crickets chirp,
Rocks rub, and a wind gently
Taps time atop tongue.
But I’m so very far from, “then,”
As I’d rather bathe and bask
In this intrinsic drink of an
Electricity overhead, “now.”
“Tonight,”
Flashes, disappears, and reappears;
Much like the faces
Of those, both near, far
And a couple, now dead,
Like fireflies beside meandering creeks;
Every present, if only for seconds,
Nearly dust, one moment later
(Just beyond the ash).
So gathered were the rest, the alive,
Packed and cramped, like canned sardines
With an “X” atop eye, processed –
Into bars, brothels, dens
And later homes that remain dodged,
Dented and at best, temporary.
It’s in this vision granted anthropology, that
I contemplate and quell, “belonging” –
I am, “them,” and they are
“Me,” and I hate this consciousness,
But surprisingly, still, and to love others.
I love them when they’re near
And after seconds, soon fear away,
When they push and make attempts
At, “too close,” my solution –
An epiphany’s conundrum,
I chase, maybe catch, “it,”
If only for a moment, this silence,
But I’ll never be satisfied.
When the neon continues a creep
Of sorts, as an, “I told you so,”
Glows and grows throughout the night.
This ether in avoidance of sun
As I wander from street to street,
And from drink to drink,
A retreat parallel your quiet kind of alive,
All in becoming a part of something,
An escape, or imagined exit, all the same.
And when we reach that point
Under a neon so far from the crickets,
I’ll ask for your hand, simply, your,
Hand, whilst stomaching heartthrobs
Before this newest morning,
A sleep of sorts sought, soon occurring,
As the grace of neon’s switched, “Good-bye,”
And god’s soon snuffed from the sky.
- Hathaway Hayes (2023)
10 notes
·
View notes