#he was just pretending

[gunpowdercarousel]

OKAY WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I JUST NOTICED THIS

You mind link

with every origin character

when you meet them

except

for

fucking

GALE

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 memes #gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #this probably means nothing #but i'd like to think it means something #i would like to propose the crackpot idea that gale never actually got a tadpole #and he was just fucking around this entire time #he was just pretending #or he even thought he got one or ACTUALLY got one #but like it couldn't handle his big wizard brain and just died instantly #astarion #karlach #shadowheart #lae'zel #wyll

[erionlextib]

Did Zane even worship Irene in MCD?? Cus like-

Insisting that creatures reborn from the Nether are real, despite it being taboo for priests to believe that, and being able to recognize people who have been turned without anyone having to say anything to you

And

Standing in front of an alter saying, “Witness the power of the Shadow Realm”, or something like that, while you turn a 4-12 month old baby into a full grown adult and shadow knight, and have them try to kill people

Does not particularly scream “I’m a priest in the name of Irene”

#mcd #mcd zane #zane ro'meave #minecraft diaries #Zane Ro’meave did NOT worship Irene #He was just pretending #for power n’ stuff

[redsray]

i think one of my favourite parts about the "Jason has an army of kids in Crime Alley that will do anything to protect their protector" HC is that they absolutely would inherit all of his 'little shit' traits. they'd throw the other Bats off course on purpose. Dick, trying to find Jay: Have you seen Hood, by any chance? Kid: Sure I did. 'e's gone to the ice-cream store down in th'Narrows. He buys us ice-cream, sometimes. Dick: okay, thanks kid! (backflips away) Dick: Dick: there's no ice-cream store near the Narrows. Tim, just walking by Crime Alley: The kids, throwing rocks at him while Jason watches in amusement:

#batfam #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #they'd also put stickers on his helmet sometimes #he pretends not to know #he's just as intimidating w them i promise you #dick: do u get along with jason kiddos #tim: no they bit my ankles once. they're funny tho #tim drake

[atmothart]

Jon he's really trying here cut him a break

(tumblr crunched the resolution of this comic a lot rip)

#dracula daily #hello im back from the void with shitty dracula doodles #i actually drew this last year but never posted it #here it is now though #count dracula #jonathan harker #Drac reading the english bradshaw guide is still one of the funniest moments in Dracula to me #i know it is supposed to show how he's planning to infiltrate england and appear local #but it really does just come across like he picked it up in a panic and pretended to be reading it when Jonathan came back into the room #and being the weird guy he is thought reading train schedules was really normal behaviour #bram stoker's dracula is a romcom #re: dracula

[daftmooncretin]

my absolute favourite thing about the kirk and spock dynamic is that the whole time you’re watching the show spock is gaslighting you into thinking that kirk is this loose canon and spock is paragon of logic keeping his captain on the straight and narrow when its very clearly the other way round. aside from being turned on by everyone and fighting like an old-timey boxer…. kirk is just like.. quite a logical, stable guy. like yeah he rules with his emotions but he’s rarely reckless or erratic, even in situations of immense pressure he’s always calm and measured. sure kirk is unhinged and insane, but we knew that right off the bat. spock on the other hand tries to hide how insanely balls to the walls crazy he is by standing next to jim and hiding all his derangement with logic. i think the reason bones beefs with spock so much because he is the only one who has noticed that spock is an absolutely unhinged individual. (jim is too busy doodling <3 mr jim spock <3 all over his briefings to notice)

#remember that time spock mutinied and pretended to be jim lmao #hes so girl math #and kirk was like lmao fair enough love you while bones just stood there like MUTINY??? #we know that bones is the only thing keeping that ship afloat at this point lmao #star trek #star trek tos #spock #kirk #bones mccoy #jim kirk #james t kirk #spirk #tos

[mothmore]

something i am utterly obsessed with is the physical copy of dracula that i recently purchased that has , as part of its foreword , some of the original idea notes that bram stoker had about what dracula’s vampiric powers/traits would be.

one of these is that dracula’s likeness cannot be captured in a painting , he always looks like someone else.

which only leads me to imagine a scenario in which the count lines many of his castle hallways with paintings of himself throughout the centuries but none of them look the same and none of them look like him but jonathan can’t help but notice they all somehow look eerily similar.

he brushes it off , assuming they are simply counts of generations past.

#more of moth #dracula #re: dracula #dracula daily #jonathan harker #bram stoker #i woukd think thag the reason dracula has so many paintings of himself is that he finds it funny or smthn idk #he hires an artist and then they paint him and he pretends to be in a rage and threaten them #then he just eats them #it’s like his way to blow off steam #yeah #that’s it

[sachermorte]

the way they sometimes introduce fish to lakes cracks me the fuck up because they literally will just drop a bunch of them out of an airplane

imagine that happening in the warrior cats universe. dudeheart, respected warrior of riverclan is trying to chill and enjoy the five minutes of peace he has today. his new apprentice is a dipshit. the deputy is on his ass. thunderclan is up to something weird. he just wants five minutes. five goddamned minutes to himself to sit and organize his thoughts.

and then a giant metal bird screams by and dumps a fuckton of fish into the lake

what do you even say after that. what do you even do. it never fucking ends for dudeheart. it's always fucking something

#like is it an omen. should he tell the medicine cat. #dudeheart does not know but he knows it's going to be an almighty affair when he gets back to camp so he just sits there #pretends he didn't see it #warrior cats #warriors #shitpost nach sacher art

[hezekiahwakely]

Really funny that Colin insists that Alice shouldn't give the computers a personality JUST MOMENTS AFTER he claimed that the computers are fucking with him and him specifically due to their hateful and capricious nature

#i mean part of that is just how you feel working in IT i guess #but its funnier that he wants to pretend nothing weird is going on while also expressing his undying hatred for these sentient machines lol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tmagp 3 #the magnus protocol #colin becher #also lets not gloss over the jmj error. and the sassy beeps when it refuses to run. you know they are getting salty cooped up in there

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30. #2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months. #3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly. #OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

[dollya-robinprotector]

Luka - deciding on what to wear on round 7 to face Till

#I'll go to hell for this but hey let's not pretend this couldn't be one of the case I mean we're talking about LUKA #Also you know what #I bet Till would immediately tackle him to the floor and beat his soul outa his ass the moment he saw one of these happen #If Mizi can scrap Luka's ass then Till is more than capable of unalive this sick mf before taking a bullet #just saying hahaha... #alien stage #luka alien stage #luka alnst #dollya art

[radiance1]

Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.

Jason: What.

Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.

Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?

Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?

Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?

Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.

Jason: That's almost sad.

Danny: You in?

Jason: Sure, why not.

===

Maddie: Danny, honey.

Danny: Yes mom?

Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.

Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.

Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.

Danny: Mother I need more context.

Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?

Maddie: Jack!

Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!

Danny: Say WHAT?

===

Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!

Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.

Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?

Jason:

Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.

Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?

Danny: Jason.

Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.

Danny: [Squints eyes]

Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]

Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.

Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny isn't romantically interested in Jason in the least #Neither is Jason romantically interested in Danny #But he needed a partner and Jason was the only one available #Jason somehow managed to balance that and being a crime lord #Jack and Maddie instantly had the suspicion of him being Red Hood aka a crime lord aka a criminal aka a danger to their boy #Danny doesn't know at ALL though and so they hang that theory up because if Danny didn't know then he probably wasn't a crime lord #Jason's identity was almost blown because he pretended to be the boyfriend of his friend #Again Danny doesn't know shit about him being Red Hood he just thought dude was dedicated to his job plus its Gotham #Not that weird to come back with scraps and scratches

[svampira]

snack time🤤

#perspective doesnt matter when your oc looks cute. remember this always #vtm #vampire the masquerade #/elias #vtmb #artists on tumblr #toreador #idk why the image quality is so low but i cant fix it it is what it is #art #digital art #vampire #oc art #i forgot about one pretty important lore detail while drawing this ^^ pretend the window at the back is just like one of those obscured one #that look white or something. anyways hes so cute #scarabocchi #vampcore #oc lore #elias lore

[zosanbrainrot]

this is how I see them

#sanji turned out so good and was just a quick thing so I had to add zoro #but for some reason he was super hard to draw for me this time #anyway this is how I see them #post battle staying up late on the deck drinking themselves silly to the point they forget to pretend to hate each other and just talk #maybe eating some snacks sanji had made #'we really almost died again didnt we' #looking at each other a couple of seconds too long before averting eyes #letting the mind wonder #zosan #zoro #sanji #one piece #my art #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #ETERNAL PINING HELL #im drawing these while on google meet at work

[neytui]

Been reading a fic where Hiccup is the prince of a kingdom and I wanted to give it a try to portrait him like one

Lol so I didn't know you can't reblog with a video so I'll just edit it, here u have a quick speedpaint of it

#httyd #hiccup horrendous haddock lll #hiccup #httyd hiccup #how to train your dragon #httyd fanart #hiccup haddock #hiccup how to train your dragon #my art #art #so there was supposed to be a normal crown #but I literally couldn't make it fit on his head #so lets just pretend he has a normal crown alright #I recorded an speedpaint for this one #so I might post it later on the day

[undertheredhood]

any dc character: *confessing something about their past they kept hidden out of fear/shame*

their batfam bff who had already known for a while and is now desperately trying to hide that they knew the truth this entire time: “oh, wow! that is so crazy, i am so sorry you had to go through that.”

#batman #batfamily #batfam #batfamily shenanigans #batfamily headcanons #they’re just trying hard to pretend they didn’t do a full background check right after meeting their teammate/friend #they get the paranoia from their dad #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #barbara gordon #tim drake #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #being adopted by a furry is fun until you inherit all of his trust issues #at least he’s rich though! #random dc character: my parent is a villain and i became a hero to stop them! #batfam character: oh wow i am so shocked right now

[agnes-come-back-challenge]

I love that everyone in TMA is just. Unremarkable. Jon isnt a heroic character; he's self-loathing and depressed and he exhibits the same self-pity as I do when I'm self-loathing and depressed. He doesn't stand out for his strength of will or quick-thinking or virtue. He's a good person but he stops trying to stay human when it gets uncomfortable. He's everything that a regular person is when theyre trapped in a horrible situation and it's ugly and insufferable and Real.

#and dont even get me started on the rest of them #martin is jealous and petty and manipulative #and look at his life— look at his mother— of course he is! #basira would never do the things daisy does but she's perfectly content to look the other way and ignore it #and she does the same thing in the archives— the world is ending and she hides away with her books and pretends it's none of her business #and oh god MELANIE #like #it really drives home tim's point that all you need for the fears to ruin your life is just bad luck #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jon sims