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pnsteblnme · 8 months

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the drunkenness scale ✿ k.m.

pairing: katie mccabe x reader, arsenal wfc x reader

summary: celebrations allow your teammates to finally meet 10-drink-y/n.

warning: none, i think :)

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this was a request from anon, i hope you like it <3

1 drink (the normal one)

Booming music mixed with flashing lights and ecstatic shouts filled the room, as the Arsenal girls celebrated their win of the WSL. The dance floor was packed with swaying bodies that slurred the wrong words to every song that was playing.

Across the room, you were sat in a booth along with Leah, Beth, Viv, and Katie. The five of you having arrived not too long ago, you each got your first drinks from the bar, clinking your glasses with elated grins taking over your faces.

Feeling eyes on you, you turned to your right after taking a big gulp of your beer, “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Katie replied, trying to suppress her sigh and send you a reassuring look, as her mind already went over what would most likely happen during the course of this evening. Don’t get her wrong, she loved you. She really did, but when you started drinking - well let’s just say you could be a handful, and that would be the understatement of the century in Katie’s opinion.

As the booth conversed, the Irish woman decided not to worry about you too much, wanting to celebrate the win and knowing that you wouldn’t really be troublesome until much later into the night.

2 drinks (the ‘funny’ one)

Finishing your second drink, you already felt much lighter, the sight of your happy teammates filling you with delight.

Your face lit up, as a thought crossed your mind, excitedly looking at the girls in the booth, you questioned, “Why didn’t the melons get married?”

Confused looks were thrown your way at the abrupt topic change, the girl next to you realising that they had officially reached two-drink-Y/N.

When you didn’t get an answer you let out a little chuckle, “Because they cantaloupe.”

Viv covered her mouth with her hand after she accidentally let out a little snort, Beth hitting her shoulder, her eyes rolling, “God, that was awful.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve got more,” you said smiling proudly as you put your arms on the table leaning further towards the others, “What’s a funny mountain called?”

Actually finding the display of your horrible jokes amusing, Leah entertained you, “I don’t know.”

“Hill-arious,” you giggled, hitting Katie’s leg as your body shook with laughter.

Ten jokes later, Leah realised her mistake. While tears were escaping the corners of your eyes as your cheeks started aching, the other girls were sipping their drinks with shaking heads, wondering if you’d be done soon.

“You know, I just realised,” hopeful gazes met yours as they thought that you were finally about to tell them something that wasn’t another joke, “I tell dad jokes but I don’t have any kids,” you paused, the hope in the other’s eyes diminishing, “I’m a faux pa,” you cackled.

Groans followed your words, everyone slumping into the booth defeatedly before Beth groaned, “Katie, please do something about that. If I listen to her any longer, my brain will burst.”

Nodding her head, the brunette got up and quickly came back with another drink, setting it down in front of you, “Let’s say goodbye to two-drink-Y/N, everyone!”

3 drinks (the dancey one)

After downing the last sip, you stood up, taking Katie’s hand and eagerly tugging her onto the dance floor, “Let’s dance!”

Sending you a lopsided grin, the slightly tipsy girl followed close behind, already feeling the bass flowing through her body as you two reached your destination.

She couldn’t help but admire your dancing form. The way you carelessly moved your body with a bright smile on your face, the strobing lights giving you an ethereal glow.

Almost taking you straight home when you started grinding your ass into her, she tried to control herself in front of her teammates, wrapping her arms around your waist and pressing light kisses against your neck.

As soon as you heard the beginning of Dua Lipa’s ‘Dance The Night’ you pulled away from her with a gasp and prepared for your rehearsed dance moves. With the way you constantly talked about the movie, it was no surprise to Katie when you started doing the dance from ‘Barbie’.

Finishing your choreography with a playful bow after not missing a single step, you turned to your girlfriend breathlessly, “Whew,” you blew a strand of hair that landed in your eye away, “dancing makes you thirsty.”

4 drinks (the philosophical one)

Needing a moment to catch your breath after your (in your opinion incredible) performance, you took a seat next to Alessia, who was chatting animatedly with Lotte.

Katie pressed a kiss to your cheek, telling you she’d hang out with Leah for a bit before you watched her walk across the room. Turning your head back to the two girls in front of you, who had seemingly finished their conversation, you scooted your chair closer.

“I’ve always wondered why we use toothpaste that dentists recommend when they make their money from bad teeth,” you tell them conspiratorially.

Feeling like her eyes had been opened, an intoxicated Alessia exclaimed, “Oh my god, you’re totally right!” leaning down towards the table she motioned you to come down to her level before whispering, which was actually just her normal speaking voice with a bit more breath, “They probably put really bad stuff in there so we have to come back again.”

Nodding your head frantically, you whispered back, “Exactly,” when you suddenly had an idea and gasped, “We could blackmail all the dentists in the world with this and get a ton of money!”

“We’re geniuses,” the blonde proclaimed, raising her hand for a high five, before whispering again, ignoring the laughter coming from Lotte, “We should probably discuss our master plan in private cause there are too many people here that could steal our idea.”

Agreeing with the girl, you replied, “Yeah, you’re right, we need to talk about something else now, we’re already being way too suspicious!”

Both of them sat upright again, pretending as if nothing happened, searching for a topic they could talk about as the brunette shot them an amused glance.

“Hm, I just thought, like, if a pregnant woman goes underwater, is she like a human submarine?” you questioned with furrowed eyebrows, Lotte choking on her wine at your words.

Letting the questions run through her brain for a moment, the blonde stated, “That’s a great question! I think we’d need the definition of a submarine for that,” Alessia pondered with a finger on her chin, “Wait a second, I’ll google it.”

Taking her phone out of her pocket, she opened Safari and was about to type in her question, when she suddenly stopped, forgetting what she was about to do. She thought about it for a moment before her train of thought was interrupted by another declaration from you, “I don’t understand how cows are that calm.”

This time, Lotte immersed herself in this absurd conversation between you two, “What do you mean?”

“Well, if the whole floor was food, I’d be the happiest woman alive!”

Puffing out a breath of air, the brunette held her forehead, being done with your bizarre thoughts, as she got up, “I think it’s time for five-drink-Y/N now.”

5 drinks (the confident one)

Downing the shot Lotte had given you, you strutted over to your girlfriend, who was in the middle of a very intense game of beer pong with her blonde friend.

When you finally reached her, you threw your arms around her neck, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek as you whispered in her ear, “Missed me, baby?”

You only got a distracted ‘mhm’ as a response and turned your attention to the thing that had captured your girlfriend’s, only now seeing the ongoing game, “Oh, can I play? I literally won’t miss a single shot, trust me.”

Not even waiting for permission, you took the ball out of Katie’s hand and closed one eye, trying to find the right angle before throwing it.

“In your face,” you shouted as the ball landed in the red plastic cup and you jumped up and down, your exuberant celebration making Leah think that you had just won the World Cup.

When the blonde missed and looked up to find your pouting face with the words ‘aw tough luck’ directed towards her, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, Katie just shaking her head.

Your ball flying perfectly into the cup again and the defender missing once more rewarded her with more of your wise words, “Don’t be sad, pookie bear. I bet I could play against every person in this room and kick every single one of their asses.”

The blonde grumbled under her breath, throwing another ball and finally hitting the inside of the cup, as you noticed Beth finishing her interesting rendition of Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’, the only words actually understandable being ‘mom’s spaghetti’, and abruptly exclaimed, “Oh my god, Katie let’s do karaoke! I’m gonna end you with my heavenly riffs.”

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to talk you out of it, the brunette sighed amusedly before nudging the blue cup into your hands, “All right then, you need to drink this first though.”

6 drinks (the sad one)

You pulled your girlfriend along with you, as you made your way onto the stage, leaving her in the middle of it while you went to pick out a song, your eyes lighting up as you chose one.

Handing Katie the second mic, the first few notes started playing, making you squeal delightedly as the Irish woman face palmed.

“You’re insecure,” you hollered into the mic, pointing to the girl next to you, waiting for her to finish the line. She begrudgingly uttered, “Don’t know what for,” as the other girls started screaming the lyrics along with you.

Dancing around the stage with your favourite girl, whose face lit up with a smile while singing with you, you had the time of your life. When you reached the chorus though, things took an astronomical turn, as your grin faded and your voice began quivering.

“The way that you,” you took a staggering breath as tears filled your eyes, “get- gets me overwhelmed,” you struggled to get out when a sob broke through.

Katie’s eyes widened, she stopped singing (most of the crowd being too inebriated to notice that they were the only ones continuing) and turned to you, wrapping her arms around your waist to get you to face her, “What’s wrong, love?”

“I just…,” tears streaming down your face and inhaling a big, shaky breath interrupted your cries, “I just realised that if they get back together, they’ll be old and wrinkly and grey and I’ve never seen them live and then I’ll always remember them as these crinkly grandpas,” you sank down to the ground, your whining never stopping as Katie tried to calm you down.

“Hey, I’m sure there’ll be a reunion soon and you’ll get to see One Direction in their prime time,” she rubbed a comforting hand down your back, hoping to ease your sobs.

That only seemed to make it worse, as your hand shot up in front of your mouth while gasping and letting out an even bigger wail, “There won’t even be a reunion! They said- they- they said it’d be an 18-month-long break but it’s been 7 years now!”

Dropping her head in defeat, the Irish woman tried to figure out how to calm you down, not knowing how to help you. When she heard the song still playing in the background, an idea popped into her head as she cupped your face, slowly rubbing her thumb along your cheekbones and handing you the mic with her other hand, “Maybe you can convince them to get back together with your amazing voice, honey.”

Your breathing slowly turned back to normal, almost causing Katie to punch the air. She smiled at you when you got back onto your feet and nudged your shoulder gently, “Oh, isn’t Niall’s part coming up? He was always your favourite, wasn’t he?”

The brunette’s body went frigid with alarm as your head sank to her shoulder, your cries filling the air once again. After she felt something wet hit her skin, she wanted to cry herself, exasperated that her victory only lasted a few seconds.

“He doesn’t even have a part in this song,” you wept into the crook of her neck, your left hand tightly gripping her shirt as the tears continued streaming down your face, “They were all so mean to him! Those pigs always said that he couldn’t sing and, and wouldn’t give him any lines in, in the songs. But the worst thing was that they,” you paused to take in a trembling breath, much like an outraged child crying over not getting a toy at the store, “they turned off his mic during the concerts!”

Katie didn’t know how else to help herself, so she picked you up and carried you towards a free table, muttering about how proud of Niall you were for not letting them bring him down and starting his own amazing career accompanying her.

Grabbing a random shot that stood on the table, you raised it with a ‘To my second Irish spouse’ before shooting the liquid down your throat, making Katie choke on her spit.

7 drinks (the multilingual one)

Feeling a pair of arms around her waist, Katie looked to the left to be met with your dopey smile, “Bonjour Mademoiselle.”

Across from her, impressed looks were sent your way, “Wow, I didn’t know you could speak French,” stated Steph.

“Oui oui, baguette bouquet de camouflage duvet et french fries,” you confidently retorted, fully convinced you’d just said a sentence in French.

Hearing the snorts coming from both Steph and Katie, you frowned and crossed your arms, “I actually know Spanish though!”

“Oh, really? Knock us out then,” the Aussie motioned to you with her glass and an amused grin.

You puffed out your chest, standing taller before clearing your throat and starting, “Putellas es guijarro mucho bonmati gracias! Qué bien, no?”

Steph realised too late that she shouldn’t have taken a sip before you started, as her drink went down the wrong way, Katie slapping her back gently as she chuckled, “Honey, now you’re just naming Spanish football players.”

You stomped your feet, not believing how they couldn’t appreciate your (in your words) multilingualness as their laughter reached your ears.

8 drinks (the confused one)

While Katie knew it wasn’t a good idea when Alessia pulled you from your seat, stating that you just had to take shots with her, she was glad she didn’t stop her when she was able to witness this truly hilarious scene.

Watching you from her spot next to Leah, she had a clear view of the two of you as you ordered two shots of tequila, already having slices of lime in hand and the salt on the counter.

When the bartender put the drinks in front of you, the two of you sent him an intoxicated smile and got to work. While Alessia was able to go through the procedure as usual, you took a different approach.

The Irish woman’s eyes widened when you rubbed the lime on the back of your hand before you poured a bit of the tequila over it and licked your hand. She couldn’t hold in her laughter as you bit into the lime, downed the shot and then bit into it again.

“Jesus, she’s hammered,” chuckled Leah from beside her. The brunette just shook her head, got up and walked towards you, pulling your stumbling form towards her previous seat.

“You’ve had a bit to drink tonight, haven’t you?” questioned the blonde teasingly as you two reached her, making you shake your head.

“’m not even drunk,” you declared, trying to stop yourself from slurring your words.

Reaching into her pocket and taking out her phone, Leah turned it towards you, “Can you tell the time?”

You frowned a bit, finding her request weird before you shrugged your shoulders and put your arms on the table, leaning forward until your nose was touching her phone screen, “I’m not drunk.”

Cackles roared from the girls around you, as Leah hit the table, tears escaping the corners of her eyes while Katie rolled her eyes, trying to stop her chuckles as you shrugged, not understanding what they were laughing about, and downed the rest of your girlfriend’s beer.

9 drinks (the clumsy one)

9-drink-Y/N had always been the last one of the night, seeing as she wasn’t even able to drink anything.

Tonight though, Caitlin wouldn’t stop until she got you to drink one more beverage, wanting to use this special night as a debut for 10-drink-Y/N.

She had to admit that it wasn’t as easy as she thought it’d be. She already struggled with getting you to sit down somewhere as you tripped over your own feet every two steps, so she didn’t know how she’d be able to get you to drink something.

But when you finally sat down (after missing the chair multiple times) she had hope again.

Quickly fetching a beer, she sat down next to you, handing you the bottle. She watched as you raised it to your lips, the excited smile on her face only getting bigger.

Then you tipped the bottle and instead of the liquid going into your mouth, it went straight onto the table, not even touching your skin.

Caitlin jumped and hastily turned the beer upright again before helping you and calling out triumphantly when you took a few sips, “Guys, I did it! We’re gonna see 10-drink-Y/N!”

10 drinks (the flirty one)

Katie hurriedly strode over to you wanting to witness 10-drink-Y/N be there for her girlfriend as almost the whole team gathered around you, curiously watching your every move.

When you felt the warm body next to you, you turned to her and started playing with her hair before you spoke, “You must be the reason for global warming cause you’re hot.”

The Irish woman swatted your hand which was messing up her hair as she registered your slurred words, rolling her eyes when chatter about what they were expecting you to act like broke out between her teammates.

You didn’t care though and leaned towards Katie again, “I’m not into watching sunsets,” you paused for a second, a frown forming on your face as you rushed out in a whisper, “Actually, I am but just pretend I’m not so I can impress you with my amazing flirting skills.”

“So, I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down,” you declared, trying to send her a wink, but actually just blinking slowly.

Your girlfriend laughed, thinking you would just continue to tell her horrible pickup lines.

After a while, she realised that she had underestimated 10-drink-Y/N. You started nibbling on her neck and trailing your hand up and down her thigh, making her squirm in her seat.

Katie stood up to go to the restroom when you grabbed her arm and turned her around, “Did you sit in a pile of sugar?”

Her eyebrows furrowed at your question but then her eyes widened as you continued, “Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!”

Accompanying your words with a squeeze of her ass, you sent her another wink blink.

Knowing that if you continued this, your teammates would be scarred for life, Katie quickly called a cab and made sure to carry you from your seat to the taxi and from the taxi to your bed, wanting to avoid any more trouble with your inebriated self.

#woso #woso x reader #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe #woso fanfics #arsenal wfc #arsenal x reader

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0utkasttt · 1 year

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BIRTHDAY GIRL ᥫ᭡

“happy birthday, my favorite girl” ᥫ᭡

synopsis: y/n not wanting to go out for her birthday but eren drags her out anyway.

wordcount: 1,016 👩🏽‍💻

(based off daddy’s little girls🥹)

“no more work tonight, this is no way to spend your birthday weekend” he reached over you, closing your textbooks and notebooks, sliding it to the side.

you rolled your eyes as he spun around your desk chair, pulling your arms to make you stand up.

“..cmon, get dressed. we’re leaving, we’ll have fun. i promise” he smiled.

you began walking towards the bathroom, knowing he wasn’t gonna stop bugging you ‘til he got what he wanted, and that was for you to enjoy the rest of your night.

you and he had been friends for years, he understood you and vice versa. the two of you had almost the exact same music taste, same style, interests, and etc.

“hey e, c’you bring me a towel?” you called from the cracked bathroom door.

“here” he slid the towel through the crack of the door. he waited and checked his phone while he waited for you to get dressed.

you pulled out a pink glittery slip on dress and a black glittery dress out of your closet. “this one, or this one” you asked him, holding them both up to your chest for him to see.

“hm, put them on?”, “okay” you sat both of the dresses down, trying them both on one by one.

“okay, pink” you posed, waiting for his opinion.

he licked his lips, “turn around for me?”, “eren.” you frowned at him. “alright, sorry. put the other one on real quick” he laid back into your bed.

“….and, black” you said, turning around.

he stared you down, his eyes widening as he eyed how perfectly the dress had fit your body. “oh GYATDA—black dress please” he smirked.

“ ‘kay, thanks. your the best” you smiled at him.

you took about 10 more minutes to get ready before meeting him downstairs.

“now that’s what i’m talkin’ ‘bout. you look so gorgeous, baby” he complimented, and hyped you up. “really? guess you made a good choice then” you smiled. “don’t i always?” he teased.

you locked up your apartment making sure to turn the lights off as you left.

he opened the passenger door to his car, for you to get inside. you sat down and he closed the door before returning to his said of the car.

you looked up at the green sign above you when you got to the place. it read “Earth Angels”

you weren’t familiar with the place, making you wonder how he found it. he took your hand as you got out of the car, leading you to the small building.

“yo eren!” the bartender threw his hand up, greeting eren. still holding your hand he led you to the bar, you both took a seat. the place wasn’t very big, it had a fair amount of people in, not too many.

“ah this your girl?” the bartender asked, cleaning two glasses. “…yeah” he responded, making you look over at him, then back at the bartender with a smile.

“she’s a pretty lady, what’ll you be having?”, “uh, four shots of tequila” you responded. “thanks, make that six” eren cut in.

“six?!” your eyes widened in shock. “yeah, we’re celebrating” he shrugged, grabbing a shot glass, throwing it back into his mouth.you followed along, letting the burning liquor pour down your throat, your face scrunched up at the taste.

the both of you drunk a little more, laughing, joking and around and having a good time with music playing in the background. “dance with me” you pulled him up, dragging him to the dance floor.

you began to sway your hips in front of him, to the beat of the music. with the alcohol running through your system, you swore you could hear every beat and instrument. you felt good and he was right, you were definitely having fun.

“having fun?” he smiled at you, despite being drunk, you were still as gorgeous as before.

“mhm, yeah” you nodded, giggling.

“i’m glad. alright, let’s get you home” he grabbed your bag and held your hand as you both left the building.

you were still dancey and giggly the ride home, laughing at jokes eren made and dancing to the music he played. he took you back to your place and helped you up the stairs.

“im’a run downstairs real quick” he said, sitting you on your bed.

you laid on your back and kicked your shoes off, waiting for him to return.

he went and got a bottle of cold water and some ibuprofen for the hangover you were about to have in the morning.

“here” he opened the bottle of water and held it with his free hand and put the pills in your hand with his other. “take them, it’ll make you feel better. trust me”

you listen to him, taking the pills and downing it with the water he handed you. “i think..you make me feel better” you laid your head into your pillows.

he sat on the edge of your bed. relaxing himself “do i?” he responded, curious.

him getting off the bed woke you up. you didn’t want the night to end even though it was 2:30 in the morning. “ej…are you leavin’?” you sat up, looking at him.

“yeah i was gonna head home, did you need anything else?” he walked back over to the bed.

“i think you should stay” you run your hands up his neck. making eye contact with him, you slide one of your hands under his shirt.

“y/n you’re drunk” he shakes his head, moving your hand. “mhm, i know” you giggle, pulling him down onto the bed. you both lay face to face and you throw your leg over him, smiling.

“i had so much fun, y’know?”

“yeah? me too, i told you we’d have fun. y’gonna be pissed at me when you wake up though” he chuckled, imagining your reaction.

“hm? why?” you laid your face against his chest, slowing falling asleep. he sighs and kisses your forehead before closing his eyes.

“goodnight. happy birthday, my favorite girl” ᥫ᭡

#eren jaeger #eren aot #attack on titan #blackreader #eren fluff #eren jeager x reader #eren x black fem!reader #blacky/n #black writers #eren x black reader fluff

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