#hopefully i'll have the energy to talk about other things

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi there!

If you still take stardew valley requests please write hurt/comfort with Shane and (gn) reader about Shane getting progressively more worried about the farmer each time they go mining because of all the injuries they get there to the point where one day he snaps and breaks down in front of the farmer. It would be nice if you could show shane slowly loosing his mind each day but that would probably make the fic longer so no pressure. just pls make sure theres comfort after the hurt, bad endings make me sad :(

Thank you in advance, and even if you choose not to write this i hope you still have a lovely day.

I'm always down for Shane angst <3

In my main file I fear he's like this bc I'm constantly coming back from the dangerous mines/skull caverns on like 1 hp at 1:50 am

......

(Spring, Year 1)

"Hi, Shane!"

"God, what do you want now?"

"Nothing. I'm off to the mines." You grinned at the rugged man in front of you, holding up your pickaxe. "I'm shooting for level 120 this time, and hopefully I can pick up more gems along the way."

Shane raised a brow. "...and I care because?"

"You don't have to. Just thought I'd let you know."

'What? Like you think I'll go looking for you if you pass out? Forget it. Whatever happens is your own damn fault."

"I know the risks, but thank you." You politely answered, ignoring his blunt rudeness before checking the monster slayer guide. "The Adventurer's Guild wants me to slay a ton of bats...only 200 more to go."

""Adventurer's Guild?" Sounds stupid and childish." He grumbled, taking a swig of joja cola in his grasp. He was already running late to work, and he didn't want to get yelled at by Morris.

And he certainly didn't want you, the new farmer who made it their mission to annoy the shit out of him everyday, being the reason.

"Well it's neither of those things. It's actually thrilling." You chuckled, before digging an emerald out of your pocket. "I meant to sell this yesterday, but you can have it."

"...the hell? What am I supposed to do with this?" His brows furrowed at the green mineral you shoved into his hand.

"Keep it..for good luck, I guess?" You shrugged. "You can put it in your pocket and forget about it if you want. I just wanted to give you something nice. Plus, not to be weird, but...it kinda reminded me of your eye color."

Normally, any other villager would've been thrilled that you wanted to befriend them with gifts that reminded you of them.....

Yet Shane just stared at you as though you've confessed to stalking him.

"If you wanna give me something that's actually "nice", buy me a beer at the saloon next time." He sneered, brushing past you and continuing towards JojaMart, while you headed north of town, already knowing what you're gonna do tonight.

When you looked over your shoulder, you could see him pocket the emerald rather than throw it away despite him passing by several trash cans.

And you smiled.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Present Day)

"Awh, you still held onto that emerald even after all this time?"

"Yeah, so what? It was the first gift anyone's really given me.." Shane confessed, heat rising to his cheeks as he held the mineral between his fingers. "I never believed in all that crap about crystals and "energy" that Emily talks about. But..I just like keeping this one around. It's like...erm..."

"A testament to the start of our friendship and eventual marriage?" You cheekily grinned as you polished your weapon, before looking to your husband.

He nodded. "Exactly what I was gonna say."

"I know you so well." Chuckling, you walked over to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm gonna head to the mines, okay? Welwick says the spirits will shower everyone in good luck. I wanna see if the fabled prismatic shards really do exist."

Almost immediately, Shane froze..and he found himself wanting to desperately say "no" and convince you to stay on the farmhouse.

But he didn't know why.

From the moment he met you, he knew you sought adventure and profits in the mines, fighting all sorts of monsters for the Adventurer's Guild. He's seen skeletons, mummies, and golems caged up at Spirits' Eve festivals, but never the wild ones below the surface who attacked you relentlessly.

Yet you never let the constant dangers deter you from exploring.

Mining was exhausting work, yet rewarding every time you cracked a stone open to find a diamond or discovered a treasure chest. With the materials you've gathered, you were able to craft some rings to wear, enchanted with powers to help make your excursions easier and safer.

Despite being well-prepared, though, Shane did have his concerns...especially as once you came home after clashing with skeletons, a scar on your head from a flying femur bone that still hasn't fully healed.

You only went to Harvey to get it checked out after your husband--who was your boyfriend at the time--insisted on it.

Even before that, he'd see you around town, bearing a new bug bite, scratch, burn, bruise, or bandaid on your body.

It never worried him before, but after that skeleton incident, he finally understood that those monsters were real and you were seriously getting yourself hurt.

He'd go to the mines with you if not for his fears that he'll only make things worse. There's a good chance he'll slow you down and find himself getting swarmed by slimes, bats, bugs, and whatever the hell else was there....and he wasn't exactly the most fit to swing a sword or pickaxe.

Simple walks made him tired.

What good would he do?

"Shane? What's wrong?"

Blinking, he snapped out his thoughts and saw your concerned face. "Nothing, sweetheart." He dismissed, giving you a little smile. "Just be careful out there, alright? I'll take care of things here."

"Thank you, baby." Smiling back, you gave him a kiss before heading out the door with your backpack and tools. "Off to the bottom of the mines I go!"

Shane tensed.

"Wait-"

As quickly as the door opened, it slammed shut, and he was left by himself in the cabin.

It was an uncomfortable silence.

'Maybe I should've tagged along.....buh, what am I saying? They'll be fine. They do this all the time. Stop getting so worked up, idiot..' Clearing his mind yet again, he went off to check things around the farm for you, deciding to watch TV later on.

There was gonna be another Tunneler's game tonight, so at least he had that to look forward to.

Nothing like that, some good food in the fridge, and this cozy cabin he got to call home...

And it was all because of you.

If you could build everything here and still having the energy to go mining and fight monsters, why should he worry?

.

.

.

.

.

1:20 AM

After a productive day, Shane managed to fall asleep early for once.

Only be woken up by the creak of the bedroom door.

Light almost immediately flooded his vision, stirring him from his slumber as he grumbled and tried to shield his eyes, wondering what time it was.

"Fuck..morning already-?"

"No, honey..it's...just me. Sorry.."

He blinked, sitting up to see that it was only you coming into the room, removing your rings. One of them served as your light source, yet it didn't hide the numerous scratched and bruises that littered your skin.

And they were all fresh.

"Babe, wha...are you okay?" Shane was now fully awake, watching as you peeled off your jacket and trousers, tossing them into the corner of the room before dragging yourself into bed.

Only then could he see your injuries up close and personal, and his heart began racing. "What happened? You look like hell."

"I'm fine, Shane. I just..need to sleep it off.."

"B-But...there's blood everywhere.." He mumbled, his eyes going to the clothes in the corner. "I can call Harvey-"

"No..don't. I already patched myself up. I'll be fine in the morning..I just wanna be here with you." Smiling weakly, you kissed him, before putting the prismatic shard into his hand. "Look. It exists...haha...it's so pretty, right? It's yours."

He didn't know what to say, staring dumbfounded at the mineral.

What hell did you go through to get this?

And as much as he loved it..why get it for him?

Why risk your life?

But when he looked back to question you further, you were already passed out beside him, looking peaceful despite the wounds on your body.

Eventually, he slid the prismatic shard under his pillow and laid back down, only to hesitate in wrapping his arm around you.

All he could do was gaze at your exhausted face..and the dried blood under your nose.

Least to say, he had trouble falling back to sleep.

..........

Ever since that night, Shane's grown increasingly worried over your safety during your mining trips. And it began to affect his usual routine around the farm.

In fact, calling it "worry" at this point would be a heavy understatement..

It became straight-up paranoia.

Whether you headed off to the mines or Skull Caverns early because of an "extra lucky day" or simply because you needed a specific resource, you'd always come back home the same way:

At later hours, with more injuries and bandages than last time, constantly on the verge of passing out and barely able to hold a conversation with him.

Of course, you'd have breakfast with him, and you'd never leave the farmhouse without giving him a kiss...but it did nothing to ease his mind, as he'd constantly see your wounds and dread whatever horror stories you were about to tell him.

Even though you're perfectly nonchalant as you talk about a serpent who tried wrapping itself around you and squeeze every last breath out of your body, it made Shane feel utterly sick to his stomach.

How could you be so calm after so many brushes with death?

He didn't understand.

On the surface, he seemed fine with you leaving. But when you did, he'd find himself turning to beer to calm his nerves..although most days he was able to resist the urge and occupy himself with farming tasks or video games.

Despite this, he hasn't outright told you anything. He knew mining was your passion and thought you'd chastise him for "worrying over nothing".

So he kept it to himself, thinking his anxiety was being stupid.

Then the final straw came the evening when he got a call from Harvey's clinic around 5PM.

One that he hoped to never hear:

You passed out, and were currently being treated for serious injuries.

He bolted out the cabin, all the way to the town square and damn near broke the door down. There, Harvey, Linus, and Marlon were at your bedside, the latter two having brought you in after seeing you fall unconscious in from of the elevator, covered in blood and shrapnel.

Fortunately, you were expected to make a full recovery with just stitches and some IV fluids to rehydrate your body...but you still owed Shane one hell of an explanation.

This time around, you landed in an "infested" area of the 100s, trying to use a bomb to kill off most of the monsters.

Only to trip over a stupid lava crab and drop the bomb after you just ignited it, damn near losing your leg trying to kick it away from you in time.

And by the grace of Yoba, you were able to limp your way back to the ladder, return to floor zero, where Linus so-happened to be passing by the mine entrance.

You gave the poor old man quite a fright, as he didn't know how much blood on you was from the monsters...or you.

In the end, the bomb left shrapnel in your flesh, searing your clothing and requiring stitches to ensure you didn't bleed out. You appreciated Harvey for his quick work and for Linus and Marlon for taking you to him.

However nobody in that clinic was more terrified over your condition than Shane, who was in disbelief that you were able to stand and walk back home with him after getting discharged.

He wouldn't talk to you, although his hands shook as he helped you into bed, still sleeping beside you like he did every night before this.

But this time...he had the worst nightmare possible.

He was down in the mines with you, except he felt stuck and couldn't do anything to warn you or save you from the impending danger.

It was like he was spectating a game, instead forced to watch as the bats and monsters made of shadows descended upon you with their teeth bared and claws out, tearing into your body. You had yelled for him to save you, to stop being useless, damning him for not stopping you from leaving...yet their horrible noises drowned out any further shouts.

Then you were gone.

You were gone and he failed you.

And it was all his fault.

It made him joltbwide awake at 3 AM, and he felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. His mind kept going to you, constantly checking to make sure you're still breathing, unable to fall back to sleep for a while.

When he did, he was in tears.

..........

"No."

"Shane, I know last night was bad. But I'm not-"

"You're not going to the mines today. I mean it."

Dumbfounded, you gazed at Shane, who was physically blocking you from leaving the cabin. A scowl was written all over his face.

You sighed and rubbed the side of your head. "It's only the first few levels, honey. Willy needed bug meat for-"

"Right. The "first few" you say, and then I'll get a call from Harvey at 2 AM about you needing emergency surgery again." He gritted his teeth, tears coming to his eyes. "Whatever he or anyone in this damn town needs in those mines can wait. Why can't you just stay?!"

"I don't understand.." Your eyebrows furrowed. "You never cared before if I went there. What changed?"

"What changed....? What changed is that I've been having a lot more of sleepless nights lately! I can barely eat or do anything except worry and worry about you. And it's because...because..." He trailed off.

"Because what?"

"......."

You sighed. "Shane, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I don't see why-"

"Because you've been scaring me to death okay?!" His hands now gripping your shoulders as he stared at you. "You think you're invincible, but you aren't. What don't you get?! How badly are you gonna let those things hurt you?! Or be the reason YOU DROP DEAD AND DON'T COME HOME?!!" He screamed.

Your own eyes widened, stunned by his words..and eventually you saw the realization flash across his face as he blurted out his true feelings.

The ones he tried to hide from you, yet consumed him for hours upon hours whenever you left for the mines.

It made your heart plummet.

His breath hitched, and you then saw the tears beginning to fall from his greenish eyes.

"Shane..."

"[Y/n], you saved me from throwing my life away. And...i-it's like you're throwing away yours for no reason!" He sobbed. "Night after night, I have nightmares of seeing your limp body..a-and....and I can't save you. I can't do anything except scream and beg them to stop hurting you! But they never listen! A-And...I just...I-I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you..."

He looked totally shattered, making you finally realize how serious this was.

Your guilt right now was immensurable, watching the man you loved fall apart right in front of you.

And it was your fault.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." You pulled him into a tight hug, and he completely broke down in your arms. His quiet crying became muffled by your shoulder. "I..I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares sooner?"

"You would've thought..th-they were stupid. Or that I sound "needy" or controlling.." He sniffled. "I-I know I can't stop you from going, but...I just..a-after what happened to you last night, I...I.."

"Oh, honey..that was my dumb mistake. The monsters had nothing to do with my injuries." Rubbing his back, you gently kissed his head. "I was tired and got clumsy with a stupid bomb..but I promise it won't happen again. You're right. I'm not invincible. I need that reality check sometimes."

He didn't say anything, instead holding onto you tighter.

You never realized how badly your mining trips and injuries were affecting him...affecting this very relationship.

The Shane you met back in Year 1 could care less if you dropped dead. He outright said he'd never go looking for you and that whatever happened was your own fault.

But the Shane you knew now was crying in your arms over the mere thought that one day you'll go into the mines and never come out, holding it all in until he couldn't anymore.

You've really helped him open up to you, but now you were tearing him apart inside and never really knew it until this point.

"W-Will you just..stay here today, please?" He finally spoke, not caring about how needy or pathetic that sounded.

"...I will." You answered. "I'll take a break from mining for a good while."

"....you would do that for me?"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you, Shane. Hell..I'd give that up altogether if you wanted me to."

You felt him shake his head, and you chuckled, squeezing him tightly. "I'm only kidding, but I promise. No more mining this week."

Shane raised his head up, looking to make sure you were serious. And he saw nothing but sincerity in your expression.

You sighed softly and cupped the sides of his wet face, seeing the torrent of anxiety and frustration raging like an ocean current in his eyes. "You must've felt so lonely and terrified, baby..I'm sorry. I won't make you feel that way ever again."

He sniffled again as you brushed away his tears, before taking ahold of your wrist to kiss your palm...where your first scar from a rock crab came from.

How badly did he wanna kiss away every scar those bastards left on you until none remained.

Some faded with time and care, but others were more permanent--testaments to your survival down in the mines..as well as your several brushes with death.

Heat rose to your cheeks, watching him become so affectionate and gentle with you, even though he knows you're not made of glass whatsoever.

Eventually, his tears ceased as you both decided to go lay down on the bed together, with Shane cuddling up to you and resting his head on your chest. All he could hear was your strong heartbeat drowning out the noise in his mind.

It was still kicking, like you.

"Thank you..god, that was exhausting.." He mumbled. "I'm sor-"

"You don't have to be sorry for being honest with me." You reassured, petting his hair. "I just..wish I picked up the signs sooner."

"INah, I should've been clearer...and maybe that would spare myself this headache I got now.."

"Hmm..how about we sleep in until you feel better? Then we can check on the chickens."

Feeling him nod and wrap his arms around you, you took that as a "yes" and chuckled softly, knowing you weren't gonna leave this spot anytime soon.

But that's okay.

There's no other place you'd rather be. Not even the mines.

#clanask #anonymous #sdv x reader #stardew valley x reader #sdv shane #sdv shane x reader #stardew shane x reader #angst #hurt/comfort

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!! #it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33 #it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer) #my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh. #my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done! #INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!! #truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking? #i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps #BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!! #also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun. #im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!! #i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!! #i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today? #like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.) #(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH. #ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl #really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;) #then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit #okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!

[bibiana112]

It's like 3:00 we got home before midnight but were already tired and sleeby and I swear I act so tipsy when all I had was regular ass tea just because of what the mix of tired and overstimulated does to my brain

#u think I'm exaggerating but the reason I'm only unwinding now despite getting home relatively early #is cause me and my roomie just sat on the floor talking shit and stuff for hours #and in the middle of that #at some point #I was cry laughing for absolutely no reason after being so unable to string words together that I just repeat dour synonyms #it made it sound like I was having an existential crisis but I'm just tired but my mouth keeps trying to say things 😭 #roomie was like oh but I wish I could talk more I'm running out of energy and all I can communicate is via laugh #and I'm like I wish I could just shut up actually #I wish I wasn't the kind of person you know is doing bad because they're not swinging a thousand thoughts at u or in their head too much #Wish I had the sense to stop prattling if I can't communicate well but if I like the person and am enjoying their company I just. continue #oh no I'm having self recognition through the blorbo at this hour cause I just realized I headcanoned that about Aoi too oh nO #that makes sense fuck I never realized I did that until now #honestly it was embarrassing and roomie was like pfft what? no it's not I'm just awkward and indeed an jour later they cry laughed too #it's not like we were telling good jokes or anything like our brains were just melting so yeah how do I plan on finishing this #I liked the food kind of want to go there again for the gyoza ngl but not at night again there's too many people drinking and no sweets #we finished the meals and wanted dessert but everything had just closed :( #we got all dressed up and shit and not a single picture came out alright lmao #oh also I missed the two people that came with! they're so fun and we hadn't seen each other since y'know rona started #so it was really nice to catch up with them hopefully I'll be classmates w the two again if my transfer fcking goes through alright #Void fala aí

[euargh]

note to self: finally cut your hair and chemically straighten it soon. it's getting too long and easily gets greasy/itchy. i look like a deranged rat and showered. just dreading the burns I get when I chemically straighten my hair lmao

#note to self #urgh #crap my laptop is running out of power #and i lost energy and motivation to work on the fanfic cuz i'm out of ideas #maybe i used up my spoons already #i really don't want to return back to my messy cluttered room #especially when the house is quiet for once and everyone is asleep #maybe fine i'll return back to my room and maybe watch youtube videos #i think i'm just full of dread with responding back to my ex #okay today vacation day where i isolate and watch things on youtube #then tomorrow post office game stop and uhhhh shit those other things i need to do which hopefully my dad won't mind driving me #i hate that i don't have a car to drive and my life went downhill #why am i oversharing in the tags like a deranged person #oops sorry #i guess because i don't have anyone to talk to nor do i want to pour my problems out on people when they have their own problems #and when i do talk to anyone i'd rather talk about fun things #tho it kind of sucks not having anyone close

[taintedpearls]

❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)

don't buy tlou — free palestine

you can read part one here!

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.

cw: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.

wc: 2.9k

a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy!

(1:02am) ellie

please let me explain

(1:06am) ellie

cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while

(1:07am) ellie

i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.

(1:09am) you

guess who texted again

(1:09am) olive

no way

r u gonna reply?

(1:10am) you

absolutely not

i made a fool of myself

(1:11am) olive

maybe and JUST MAYBE

reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back

(1:12am) you

what the fuck olive

do you want me to die? genuine question

(1:12am) olive

LISTEN

it might help

plus she seems genuinely apologetic

why is she even apologising?

(1:14am) you

for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?

(1:14am) olive

because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?

(1:15am) you

😐 bye

(1:15am) olive

just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out

okay?

(1:16am) you

i'll think about it

(2:03am) you

11:30, you get two minutes

(2:03am) ellie

thank you so much

(2:03am) ellie

i'll be there

nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.

you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.

but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).

but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.

a plan to win you back.

she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.

so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.

then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.

useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.

her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.

you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.

words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through. 

“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.

you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense. 

“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles. 

“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you? 

tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again? 

“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face. 

instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her. 

ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once. 

you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite. 

ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return. 

“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth. 

instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth 

“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting. 

“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest. 

“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that. 

“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys. 

“but you-” 

“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything. 

it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she. 

gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content. 

“ellie…” you needily whisper. 

“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”

“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet. 

you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer 

“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun. 

“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!” 

“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water. 

silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down. 

she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her. 

“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.

with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck. 

the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough. 

discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee. 

“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit. 

from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point. 

ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit. 

“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you. 

“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”

you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you. 

“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more. 

she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.

quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel. 

“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.

she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again. 

lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it. 

“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements. 

gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours. 

“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body. 

you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you. 

“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own. 

“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it. 

“we’re okay?” she asks 

“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier 

“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out. 

people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart

#taintedpearls 𐙚 #aria writes 𝜗𝜚 #do not support neil druckmann #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #elliewilliams #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #mdni banner by @cafekitsune #lace divider by @v6que

[hotvintagepoll]

hotvintagepoll Hot Men Tournament rundown thoughts

I promised a final recap post and here it is! I'll try to cover the questions I saw the most as we closed out the bracket, reveal my ✨secret faves✨, and talk about the biggest surprises and turnarounds I saw in the brackets.

Yes, this will get silly.

ROUND 1

As I've mentioned before, I worked off submissions for who to include in the bracket, so if your fave was missing—that's why. I used submitted pics when I could, but many submissions didn't have one, so I tried to find decent ones in the couple of days I had to prep the first round (I didn't always succeed). By decent, I mean pics where 1) I could see the hot man's face, so not too much moody lighting, and 2) hopefully conveyed something about his vibe, even if it was a funny thing (yes, I showed Howard Keel in full Shakespeare get-up—I'm not beyond putting up a pic because I think it's funny). I didn't know all of these hotties going in, so some I had to guess with, but when I could I tried to pick shots that had a touch of the humor, class, or genre of the hot man.

For Round 1 and Round 2, I grouped the hotties by each decade, so only '60s actors ran against '60s actors, '50s against '50s, etc. Male beauty standards shifted pretty dramatically over the sixty years this tournament covers, and I didn't think it was fair to pit dramatically different styles of beauty against each other immediately.

I pitted hot men against each other based on opposing energies—hot vs cold, elegant vs rough, comedy vs drama, etc.. I wanted the polls to be interesting and I've never liked brackets where everyone is clearly in different "lanes" until the finals! I also wanted to make polls where I couldn't tell which way they would swing, so by setting matchups that felt opposite but equal, I got to be surprised by the bracket results too.

The only reason we had any three-way matchups is because the amount of men submitted didn't round to a nice bracket number. I don't like them generally and find them really hard to balance.

Secret faves from Round 1—I am a James Coburn girlie and knew he would die immediately, so that was not a shock but a bummer. I similarly knew Robert Preston is only magical to people who have seen him do His Little Dance Routines in That One Iowa Musical, but it would have been nice for him to last longer.

Surprises—Jeremy Brett was a last-minute add and I didn't think he really had a shot, so I put him in as a third wheel on the Sean Connery/Dean Martin matchup. Little did I count on the Granada girlies. (Always count on the Granada girlies.) The Elvis/Peter Falk poll was the first one to gain any momentum—Elvis was winning for the first 24 hours but then, my god, did Peter fight back. I didn't expect the Tab/Toshiro poll to make that bad a mincemeat out of Tab—people have different tastes, and I thought the people who like blonde sunny All American white boys might turn out for The Blonde Sunny All American White Boy. Sorry, Tab. I hope you've peeled yourself off the sidewalk by now. And, of course, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that James Cagney would be obliterated by, of all people, Mr. Bing Crosby.

SHADOW BRACKET

The fervor of the Harold Lloyd and Fredric March people inspired the shadow bracket, and I couldn't be happier at the way it's gone. You were right, the original photos I had for them did suck. Cunty Harold Lloyd in his little life guard uniform was a revelation.

ROUND 2

For Round 2 I'd gotten a better sense of who was doing well and who was not, so a little of that came into play, but I mostly paired on vibes again. (I genuinely think this is a good way to make a fun, challenging bracket.)

Secret faves—Noooo not hot dilf Dick Van Dyke don't take my hot inventor dilf away uwu!!! (He was up against Marlon Brando. I would have been shocked if he'd won but for a minute there, a glorious second, it was possible.) I am also a big old softie for David Niven's particular brand of repression to the point of volcanic rupture, but he is one of many hotties who does not look good without moving and speaking so I figured he would be going.

So much beef—hey! hey you. I ran a poll asking if we are horny for dancers. Yes, was the resounding poll response. Where, then, did all the fucking dancers go? This round we lost Donald O'Connor, Fred Astaire, Harold Nicholas; Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby all sneak into this category as well, by token of having been in the kind of big MGM bang-a-pan-and-put-on-a-show beloved bedlams we all watch at Christmastime. Round 2 voters HATED musical matchups. Except for one.

The one—SOUND OF MUSIC, the voters said, WE LOVE SOUND OF MUSIC. we will KILL the man responsible for salad dressing because of the SOUND OF MUSIC. every other dance man can die but THIS man dances a FOLK DANCE with JULIE ANDREWS in a GARDEN. I did not go into this poll with strong opinions about Christopher Plummer or Paul Newman but my god did I leave having heard all of them.

Surprises—James Edwards/Anthony Perkins matchup was a nail biter! Conrad vs Oscar kept me up at nights. Surprised to see Basil Rathbone survive against Sabu Dastagir—both very fetching, but Sabu had some top-tier propaganda. Cesar Romero put up a surprisingly stiff fight against Cary Grant (an omen for things to come).

Oh horrors—horror heroes surprisingly fell all over the place. I was sure either Bela Lugosi or Turhan Bey would sweep their three-way matchup, but Michael Redgrave of all people carried through; Boris Karloff went down against Johnny Weismuller (while holding hands with fellow fallen hottie Fred Astaire), but at least we got his guacamole recipe before he went. Delighted to see that the Venn diagram of the coalitions who support horror hero Vincent Price and funny lil guy Donald O'Connor is a circle.

Secret faves pt 2—oh yeah, I fucking love Danny Kaye and Donald O'Connor. RIP funny lil kings.

ROUND 3

For some reason this was the hardest one to make matchups for. Oh no, all the men are hot.

Secret faves—Michael Redgrave i love you SO much you're SUCH an idiot, how did you make it as far as round 3. I want you to sweep the whole thing but you should NOT be surviving this. I love you, here's a kiss, go home.

Surprises—Marlon Brando is gone! Errol Flynn is gone! Christopher Plummer exhausted himself beating the organic oreos man to death and goes out with a whimper. Beginning to actually see the roots of #mifunesweep as Tyrone Power, a hot man very different from Burt Lancaster, who was in turn very different from Tab Hunter, also gets swept under the wheels of the unbeatable toshirobus. Conrad Veidt finds that no amount of purring svelte eccentricity compares to the people who will fuck a young Lt. Columbo.

SHADOW BRACKET 2

Cannot believe it but Veidt loses this one too. Perkins sweeps and becomes Prince of the Shadow Realm!

ROUND 4

At this point I've set a formal bracket that I'm following.

Secret faves—this isn't secret anymore, but losing Jimmy Stewart hurt.

Surprises—The Gene Kelly/Jeremy Brett matchup was the diciest one all round, moving back and forth between the two by sometimes .01%. Far more surprising, however, was Cary Grant getting eliminated before the quarterfinals. Grant has never been my type, but he is famous for being THE type, so while the writing had been on the wall the whole tournament—how on earth did Michael Redgrave even get 36% in his matchup?!—seeing Grant go down was a SHOCKER. Other fallen hotties included Gregory Peck, James Dean, Harry Belafonte, and Sessue Hayakawa. Peter Falk finally met his match in Omar Sharif.

QUARTERFINALS

Secret faves—I don't know if it counts as a secret fave, tbh, as my horses in the race really went out with Stewart, but I do have a soft spot here worth mentioning. Here's my childhood dog, Keaton.

The resemblance is truly striking, and yes, he was short, fast, and not prone to smiling.

Surprises—I couldn't predict how any of these matchups would go down, but I was most interested in Keaton vs Sharif, as they are both SO hot in SUCH different ways.

SEMIFINALS:

This was such a good batch of semifinalist contestants. By this point I think we could all tell Mifune was unstoppable (though I thought Sharif might give him a run for his money), but I really didn't know which way Robeson vs Poitier would flip.

FINALS:

I wanted Sidney Poitier to pull a last-minute sweep out of nowhere, but alas, Toshiro is just THAT GOOD (maybe. I will admit that I find Toshiro's domination a little hard to believe, given the variety and hotness of all his competitors; the man is hot but all these men are hot). I'm still happy with how the tournament went.

FINAL MEDITATIONS:

Biggest shock of a dropout: the loss of Paul Newman

Biggest "you people have no taste": the loss of James Cagney

Biggest victory: Paul Robeson making it to the semifinals over often-assumed champion Gregory Peck

Biggest coalition who deserve justice: dancing men

Biggest ask character: vents anon (currently eating Laurence Olivier)

Biggest, uhh, anything: how many of you are here! I genuinely thought it would be me and 10 other people voting for the whole tournament. I'm thrilled it took off like this!

I think that's everything, but I'm happy to answer addl asks. And THANK YOU to everyone for your tags, rants, impassioned propaganda, beautiful pics, and love for the hot men! See you for the ladies!

#hotvintagethoughts

[bottombaron]

So after staring into the middle distance for a couple days I'm ready to start discussing some theories I have before the season finale destroys us. They are all very wide-ranging in absurdity but I'll start with the one that I think has the most substance and therefore I think is most likely to happen. Also, I haven’t caught up with the tag yet so if someone already posted these theories, sorry! 

So here is Theory #1, known otherwise as,

Why (I think) I know how Laszlo is going to unfuck Guillermo

The solution, I believe, was stated at the very end of The Roast by Laszlo himself: 

FIRST THOUGHT, BEST THOUGHT

Laszlo has spent weeks deeply committed to solving a problem. He's wasted precious time trying to outthink his first (and probably best) solution – and I'm not just talking about his book sorting. Neither was Laszlo, not entirely at least. I actually do think he was focused at least a little bit on his books because that's kind of what happens when you're stuck on a problem. Your brain wanders to other much less taxing ordeals. Usually, as you solve that smaller problem, you find the solution to the thing you really want to solve. 

So what was Laszlo’s first idea?

All along Laszlo had the answer but Guillermo told him that he didn't think it would work, so Laszlo just didn't pursue it further. (We don't even know if Laszlo knows the circumstances of the test and why it didn't work. Just that Guillermo didn't approve that idea.) So then Laszlo wasted valuable time and energy trying to ~Science~ this problem instead of using his true best skill that was showcased in episode one of the season: his charm. His powers of persuasion (the classical art of bullshitting, as it were) is his true super power. (Sadly, it’s not science. He doesn't really have the patience for science tbh).

But, no, rly, he should bullshit his way thru this. That's what he does best. He can outthink Nandor easily. (well….maybe. with the time spent on his experiments, Nandor could have the advantage of several weeks, if not months, to figure things out beforehand, as dense as he is) He should concoct a bullshit so impenetrable that it unfucks Guillermo from Derek and refucks him to Nandor. 

Further foreshadowing of this you ask?

(this whole season is dedicated to ‘plans’ it’s crazy how much A Plan pops up. maybe i’ll dedicate a separate post to collecting them all)

But alas! The test that The Baron did proved this wouldn’t work, right!?

Well here's some free additional theories to how Laszlo could solve that hiccup:

1. Laszlo figures out (and solves) the reason why The Baron/Neighbor test didn't work in the first place.

There could be any number of factors of why The Baron's neighbor blew up. It could be that The Baron is all that more powerful than the average vampire and so his bite gives an extraordinary fill of uh...vampire-ness? and Derek, being so young and weak, doesn't do much at all. Maybe it has something to do with The Sire. If The Baron was turned by the first being ever affected by vampirism, then maybe that vampirism is slowly depleted the further down the line you go. Derek is probably very far removed from The Sire which means he cannot transfer much of that affliction onwards. Nandor, if he was turned by The Baron (one removed from The Sire) or someone similar, explains how he is so powerful, hopefully tho he wouldn’t have too much power to possibly overwhelm Guillermo's half-a-virgin body (and yes I did like how kinky that sounded when I wrote it). It doesn't really matter the exact reason as long as Laszlo can convince Guillermo to try it and he has a relatively decent chance of surviving it. (convincing Guillermo to go thru with this plan overall is probably going to be the most trouble actually. you don't easily forget a guy exploding in your face)

2. Something to do with the experiments. (or the Nadja’s bait-and-switch tactic she used to catch The Baron/Guillermo from The Roast)

I have a larger theory on the experiments and why I think there's still one in the house, but that's for later. During The Roast, Nandor is pretty convinced that the mutant Guillermo is the real one (despite one pretty big glaring error: he has no glasses. none of the experiments need glasses...), Laszlo might have been testing this theory by having The Baron bring his body to Nandor in the first place in order to see how convinced Nandor would be by it. This might be enough for Laszlo to try to use a duplicate of Guillermo for Nandor to bite. The duplicate will not explode (probably?) due to only being a hybrid of Guillermo's blood and an animal…or something(one) else pretending to be Guillermo… (and if it does, maybe Laszlo plans to shoo Nandor out of the line of sight in order for him not to see. And then you get the angst and drama of Guillermo literally using a scapegoat to take his 'sin' despite his reluctance to hurt innocent creatures)

But will the fake Guillermo actually convince Nandor? It's hard to say, and I love that threat of Nandor realizing that it's not the true Guillermo he bit and feeling even more betrayed. Maybe Laszlo concocts a whole ambiance to the event in order to sell the lie. It has to be special right?

So there's dim lights and candles and (fake) Guillermo is laid out in Nandor's coffin and there's this whole presentation element to it that was left out of Guillermo's turn with Derek. It's more like the fantasy that Guillermo probably always had of being turned by Nandor. It plays out like a romantic love scene. But Guillermo is asleep or has his eyes closed and won't talk or maybe only makes small noises and Nandor's very upset abt this. Laszlo is probably hovering too and Nandor doesn't like that either but Laszlo insists he must be there and it's now it's all awkward and wrong, kind of like how Guillermo felt before he was bit by Derek. (now it’s like Nandor is the bull cucking Laszlo in front of him) Nandor goes thru with it and bites Guillermo and is rushed by Laszlo so he doesn't get to drink or drink too much of his blood and there's fumbling with trying to get his own blood into Guillermo's unresponsive mouth.

Or maybe Nandor finds out because Guillermo's blood is disgusting and he either knows or had hoped it would be good tasting*. or that Guillermo just lays there and there's no reciprocation of desire. But maybe he just doesn't find out and once it's over he expects to be able to lay with Guillermo or otherwise be there for his turning but Laszlo quickly rushes him out of his own room and closes the door behind him.

So now Nandor feels all the same despondency that Guillermo had felt with his turn with Derek. Like this big special moment he's built up for years was a complete dud. Like he missed out on something truly magical and he doesn't know why. And Guillermo will feel like shit too, for tricking Nandor. Laszlo isn't happy either. But it worked and they all just have to live with it. Meanwhile this act that was meant to make Nandor's and Guillermo's bond stronger, only serves to create even greater distance between them. 

Re*: evidence that Guillermo's blood might taste 'different':

3. ANYWAYS. that was theory two. lets talk about theory 3.

WITCHES.

I actually think there's good reason Laszlo has divorced Science and is now going to have an affair with Magic. It's exactly when Nadja says 'has this hex turned me into an uggo' that Laszlo comes to life and exclaims ‘that's it!’. If science wasn't the solution, maybe magic is. It's not like they don't know some witches, or that, at least to a degree, witches actually have some power. (specifically the power to look, vaguely, like someone else.) I'm not certain of the specifics but there's a chance Laszlo could be turning to magic to solve his problems. This would also bring Nadja's storyline more relevant and in focus for the season. The thing I like the most about this theory? Episode 9 describes being invited to a manor owned by someone named Morrigan. Morrigan is a Celtic goddess of war and fate that was probably the inspiration for Arthurian legendary sorceress, Morgan le Fay. (Laszlo's name may also be connected to Arthurian legend, Lancelot. but that probably doesn't mean anything.)

So! That's my three extra theories attached to this one big theory that Laszlo is going to go 'back to the beginning' and use his first thought to solve this. Go with his gut. His first solution was his best solution, all along.

…He simply needs to convince Nandor to turn Guillermo.

The, uh, details of this plan may be a lot more complicated than it suggests.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #laszlo cravensworth #nandor #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits spoilers #wwdits meta #i guess this counts as meta #so i have a LOT of THOUGHTS n’ THEORIES on the backburner and idk if i can get to them all before the finale #prepare for a flood of inane speculation coming your way #wwdits season 5 #this originaly had a lot more screencaps but i think i over did it and now my brain is fried trying to collect all these receipts

[russellsppttemplates]

A little hope (Part 2) (Lando Norris)

In which Lando realises he learnt a few things in school, and yet the only way to learn about you is hoping you'll have him by your side

Note: english is not my first language. This is part two of A little hope, which got a lot of love, so thank you for that 😊 hopefully you enjoy this ending! Thank you so much for the love on that piece ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions a couple's fight, self deprecation moments, body image insecurity, signs and symptoms of anxiety, online hate comments, sickness, curse words, allusions to smut

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Somatic or not, your stomach was not handling any food. The minute you ate something, you were sure to bring if up a few moments later since you had arrived home, "for fuck's sake", you groaned, resting your head on your forearm on the edge of the toilet, taking a deep breath.

When you felt strong enough, you walked back to your bed, noticing the clock was reading six in the morning already. Rolling to the other side, you hoped you'd be able to sleep it off, but when your alarm rung, you felt even worse than before.

Getting your phone again along with your glasses, you opened the Team's group chat, writing a quick text to let them know that you didn't feel well and you wouldn't be able to join them today and that you would try your best to get ahead on the projects you could work on remotely. A few minutes later, Tara and Max texted back.

Tara TQ

I'm sorry to hear that, Y/N, I hope you feel better soon! Don't worry about anything else other than getting better! 💚

Max

Feel better soon, Y/N! Don't worry about work, we've got it!

A good while later you woke up again, feeling slightly better, you had enough energy to eat some plain crackers and drink some tea, feeling that it was actually settling in your stomach for the first time in the last couple of hours.

Taking in the stride, you went to the bathroom, hoping a shower would clean the night sweats away and give you a little boost. Just in case, you supported yourself on the wall, keeping close to it just in case your legs faltered while you let the water cascade down your hair to your back and legs, washing your hair quickly and rinsing your body wash from your skin. You wrapped your fluffy robe around your body and a towell for your hair, laying in bed to rest a little.

Skipping your usual routine, you dressed in some comfy clothes, a hoodie you had stolen from Lando and some plaid pyjama pants, inhaling the comforting scent. That was something you should think about, it wasn't fair to leave Lando waiting for you, and you needed to sort it out.

As if on cue, your doorbell rang, leaving you to think it was the mailman with a package for your neighbours as you would often take it for them whenever they weren't home.

"Hi! Are you Y/N Y/L/N?", a guy that looked a few years older than you checked, "yes, that's me", you squinted, "I have this, it was ordered for you. Enjoy it!", he said as he handed you a takeout bag.

Thanking him, you closed the door, seeing a little note attached to the bag.

This is a little something to help you get better soon. There's some chicken soup, pasta when you feel up to it, something sweet and some tea bags.

Love you, Lando 🤍

Smiling at the little note, your heart squeezed as you realised that the subject shouldn't go past this week.

While you heated up the soup, you grabbed your phone, opening your conversation with Lando so you could thank him.

I just got the takeout bag, thank you. I'm slowly coming back to feeling better, it's probably some forty-eight hour bug and my body telling me to slow down.

I think we should talk soon, whenever you have the time, tough. There's no rush!

I love you ✨️

"So, today we're taking over the stream!", Lando announced to the camera, smiling and waving as the chat went wild.

"We are just going to game, I think, as there has been a change of plans and we don't really know how to follow up to what we had planned to do", Max referred to the planned stream for Quadrant. The original idea came from the fans as they wanted to get to know the behind the scenes of the team, and just for luck, this week was for Graphic Design.

"We're making do with what we have, and as soon as we're able, we'll do the behind the scenes for all the graphic designing things that go on at Quadrant!", Lando smiled sympathetically, the memory of you fond as your message sparked his hope, and the chat didn't seem to mind it too much.

I was hoping to see Y/N and Lando call me single in eighteen different languages, but I really do miss her

I take it she didn't even bother to show up, she's learnt her lesson I guess

Wasn't Y/N supposed to join them?

You can tell by Lando's face that he misses her, they're so cute together

It looks better like this, honestly

Imagine having to call your boyfriend to tell him that you can't show up to work

She probably doesn't even work, Lando has someone doing the job while she sits still and looks pretty

What do you mean? She doesn't even look pretty ??

Maybe she's ill or had something else to do? Can't you people be a little bit more empathetic and kind for once?

Max noticed how his bestfriend's attention was on the chat, looking at the same flood of comments he did before clearing his throat, "so, do we feel like racing or are we leaning towards another game?", he interjected, pulling Lando away from the screen slightly, "you choose, I'm not fancying anything particular. Only that I know that I'll beat you at anything", he chuckled.

Once they ended the stream, Lando tidied the room a little bit as Max switched the equipment off, "is that what you were talking about the other day? About Y/N?", he questioned.

"Yes. We have been talking to the platform managers, but they haven't restricted everything apparently", Max said, knowing better than to not tell him the truth.

"Who do they think they are to say things like that about someone they don't know? I get that I receive such things because I'm out there, but Y/N is barely a public person! She doesn't deserve that!", Lando huffed.

"Have you guys talked about it yet?", he questioned, having noticed that Lando hadn't texted you in the group chat but that he had a spring up in his step that afternoon.

"She texted me today, actually. We've been keeping to ourselves, we weren't in the right mind to discuss what needs to be discussed until now", he smiled, "I'm still unsure of going to see her today or tomorrow, since she's sick I don't want to bother her too much, and I could use someone else's perspective because I have a funny way with words and I don't want to get it wrong because I'm not a book worm and seem almost illiterate on any good day", he admitted.

"That's good, mate! Start going then, we're thinking out loud", Max encouraged, happy to see friend in high spirits. Because he had known him for so long, Max knew how different this relationship was from his past ones. They weren't bad or wrong, and they helped shape Lando into who he is and how he behaves. The way he cared about Y/N was different and Max couldn't find it in him and lie about the fact that he thought the young woman was it.

"Like you said, it's the fact that she's lost her name because of who she dates. All of a sudden, none of her achievements are valuable, worthy or even acknowledged because she's my girlfriend. Our relationship had nothing to do with her employment - hell, I only met her because she applied, otherwise Goodness knows where I would've met the love of my life - and, and I've been doing this thing where I just call her my girlfriend and I now understand that can be discrediting of her, like I just see her as my girlfriend. But the more I think about it, the more I realise I do it out of genuine pride of her. Look at me! I'm a muppet and I drive around in circles in the weekends, and she! That woman, this woman!", he showed him his lockscreen, a picture of the two of you, "she is the most talented person I've met and I'm so proud that I'm hers and she's mine!".

"I think you're underestimating yourself a little, but you've also played above your game", he chuckled, "and about the comments?", he wondered. Even though it wasn't your biggest concern, he knew one person could only muster up so much before letting it get to them.

"Like you said, we'll work with the platforms, if we have her permission we can also put out a statement about it. With her or anyone on the team, we don't tolerate offense", Lando said, "I want to make this as safe as possible, and the fact that it took her for us to notice it is a learning curve".

"Now you just need to be concise about it", Max tapped his back, "I'm sure she loves that babble situation of yours, thinks it's cute and all, but explain well enough", he smirked.

Like he thought, when he texted you to know how you were feeling, he got your reply awhile later saying that you were feeling better and the nap you had was helpful, and then another one saying he could swing by the next day if he wanted to.

Hoping the night made you feel better, Lando texted you the time he was planning to join you, scheduling his training session for the late morning so he could have a good lunch after his shower and get his plans started. You weren't swooned by big dates or big gestures, but rather small meaningful heartfelt things, so he stopped by the pharmacy to pick up some medication to restock your stash and your favourite chocolate.

"Hey, love", you smiled as you opened the door, seeing an equally smiling Lando, "come in, come in", you nudged as he stepped forward, eyes meeting a silently giving consent for a kiss on the cheek.

Silently, Lando left his trainers by the door, walking hand in hand with you to the living room, "are you feeling back to 100%?", he questioned as you sat down on the sofa, on your sides so you could face eachother while his hand played with yours still.

"Yes. I'm glad it's Saturday and I don't have to take any more days, and I can rest up without feeling guilty. And you, how have you been?", you wondered back, not knowing if he wanted to jump straight in the topic.

"I've been well. I was a little worried when you said you were sick, but now I'm better knowing that you're doing well... and that you're ready to tall about us", he blushed, eyes looking into yours.

"I want to thank you for waiting and understanding, and I want to apologise if in this mean time something I did hurt you or made you feel like you weren't welcomed in my life", you gulped, "I'm not used to feeling so little - fuck, I've never been called that - and I spiralled out to the point where I could only think that, through no fault of your own or my own, I'd lose my identity. I'd be Lando's girlfriend, and not Y/N, and I freaked out a little", you explained.

"You had your reasons, love. I'm just glad and thankful that you feel comfortable to tell me how you feel", Lando comforted, bringing your hand up to his lips as he kissed the soft skin.

"I didn't know you felt that way. Maybe I didn't see it or didn't want to see it, the way people were talking about you - and that is something we are going to figure out once for all - but I missed it. Whenever I say you're my girlfriend, it's not because that's just who you are. It's the fact that I'm incredibly proud of you, than I can't believe your my girlfriend and I just say it because I like to show you off, too!

"I learned so much stuff in school despite what I may appear to know, subtracting and multiplying with decimals, all of the capital cities, even though I'm still shit at them, yet, no one taught me how to prepare for this, for you, for how I feel about you. And I'm so proud of you that I tell it to everyone that you're my girlfriend, not because you're just that, but because I love you and you're so amazing", he exhaled out. Even though he had his usually silly tone, there was deep seriousness in his words still.

"You're confident, I love that about you, and to know that indirectly I was the person to put a dent in that makes me wonder if you should stick around me, because I don't want to ever hurt you. And maybe this is selfish, but I don't want to live without you. Now that I've known what it is like to have you in my life, to be yours, I don't want anyone else", he gulped at his own admission. Throughout the years, he learnt about vulnerability and came to terms with his own. Right now, it was bare for anyone to see.

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't your own person, and I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt you or disrespect you", he sighed, seeing your watery eyes, "no tears, baby, I can't stand to see you cry", he whispered, cleaning the stray tear that made it's way down your cheek.

"I love you, Lando. I'm the luckiest girl to be able to see you for you, no titles or sponsorships, just you, around your friends and family, see your vulnerability, and I'm the luckiest because I get to be loved by you. So many people around you love you, and I get to be one of those you love back", you scooted closer to him, hands cupping his cheek before you kissed his lips.

"I always want you to be honest with me, baby. Anything you need to tell me, we will fix it, I know we will. I love how you always cry when Boo and Sulley hug for the last time in Monsters Inc. no matter how much times you've seen it, because you always let me know how you feel, and I want that for us. I'll show you how I feel too, and you can nag me when I don't. You're it, Y/N, no one else", he stated, "things people are saying about you are not okay, but Max and I, and the media team, too, are working on something".

"I don't care about who you've dated before, genuinely. But the fact that I'm bombarded everyday with comments regarding my body or my job from people who don't have any knowledge and only want to hurt, it's hard", you admitted, keeping your promise of showing him how you felt.

"You shouldn't because I don't either. I'm with you, and I plan to be with you for as long as you'll have me. I love you, I love your body, I love your personality and everything that you are", he said, getting up as he pulled you with him.

"Up", Lando said as he tapped your hip, helping you jump and wrap your legs around his waist, "where are you taking me?", you giggled, your hands coming to the nape of his neck and fiddling with his curls, "I'm taking you to the bed, and I'm going to love on you for the next couple of hours. We are going to have slow and soft sex, love making if you will, just to show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me".

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

[isaacswhy]

home

isaacwhy x gn!reader (sfw) 1.6k summary: moving to the new house was rough, and you had to stay in a hotel for a few days while the boys moved. once you were settled in, you realized just how much you loved it. requested?: no

It brought you no joy to spend another night in the hotel. Of course, you were thankful that Isaac had paid for your nights staying there, but it was frustrating. You weren't able to sleep at home, with your boyfriend, like you usually were. But, you understood that he was just trying to keep you from going insane from how the other guys acted while they moved. It wasn't his first rodeo doing it.

No matter what, though, you still had to swipe your key card and drop your bag in the hotel as you always had. Isaac spent the first night with you, but had to stay the rest of the nights at the new house while they were moving in. The two of you learned the hard way that when Isaac wasn't around while the grown-up toddlers were moving their belongings, they'd be on the verge of burning the place down all the time.

At the very least, you got to call him. You took your shoes off, doing a quick switch into some pajama pants and walked over to your bed. That was the good part of the hotel, the phenomenal bedding. Isaac really shelled out for your comfort. You fished your phone from your pocket and opened Isaac's contact, pressing the little "FaceTime" button.

The line rang for a few seconds, allowing you to adjust how you looked in the camera before he picked up. Your image shrank into the corner as his face came into full view, beaming and bright. You couldn't help the smile on your face when you saw his big, toothy grin.

"Hi baby!" Isaac half-shouted as you watched him fall back on his bed, his curls spreading onto the blanket.

You waved to the camera. "Hi Isaac! How was the day today? Any good news for me?"

"Today was good!" Isaac sat up and looked down at the camera, "I should be able to have us fully settled by tomorrow. Hopefully, you can spend the night then."

You grinned a little bit at the prospect. You'd missed his strong arms wrapped around you. "That's great! I'll keep my phone on me and probably go out for a little shopping trip in the new city, so just give me a call whenever you think the place is ready."

"Sounds like a plan," He said, "I've been setting up our room, actually. Do you want to see now?"

"No, no, leave it a surprise for tomorrow night." With the house being a little bigger than the last one, somehow, the two of you were sharing a room and Isaac's setup would be in an office room connected to it. Although, you shared a room in the last house, but it was essentially just moving into Isaac's space and tossing your own clothes in his closet.

Things wrapped up easily that night, the two of you talking for a little too long until Isaac had to cut off the call. It was getting late, and he needed the energy for tomorrow. When you finally hung up, you tucked into bed, only Isaac filling your thoughts as you drifted off.

You awoke to the sunlight peering through the curtains the next morning. Grabbing your phone, you saw no news from Isaac and got up for the day.

It was pretty uneventful, other than picking up a few new pieces of clothes and a pair of shoes for Isaac. He was a bit of a nut about his shoe game, and you recognized the pair as one he'd been keeping his eye out for online. Luckily, they had a pair in his size. Shoe shopping for a man so tall was a nightmare sometimes.

You were just getting out of the line with your new items when you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket. Grabbing it showed Isaac's contact and a phone call, so you picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey! I was just letting you know it should be good to come down whenever," Isaac sounded a little out of breath, "Just finished unpacking the last of our stuff. Had to carry Tanner's desk into his room so he could set up his computer. Anyways, if you want to pack up your stuff in the hotel and come down, I'm ready for you!"

A big grin spread across your face. "That's amazing! I'll be headed down soon. Just finishing up a trip to the mall, but I'm gonna head to the hotel right away. I'll pack up my shit and get down to you in a minute, okay?"

"Okay! I love you!"

Your heart warmed a little bit. "I love you too, Isaac, bye."

You were practically sprinting back to the hotel. Once you got inside, you were glad not to have unpacked everything yet. The rest of your clothes and other personal belongings you had with you were packed up quickly into your bags. The car Isaac had rented for you waited for you in the parking garage, where you tossed your things in there. From there, you hit the road.

The drive wasn't too long, but they'd chosen a location far enough from downtown to give themselves privacy. You didn't mind the drive, though, since it was just building excitement to see your boyfriend for the first time in a few days.

You finally pulled into the driveway and walked up to the front door, using your key to get inside. The place was beautiful. Clean, more modern look but with a touch of the luxury that came with a house of this size and price. Of course, in a few weeks, it'd look more like a bomb went off in here. But for the time being, it looked great.

Nick poked his head out from the kitchen and waved at you. "Hey! You finally made it!"

You nodded and waved back, smiling. "Yeah! Isaac thought it'd be best if I wasn't in your guys' path of destruction while you all got moved in. Since I hadn't brought a lot to the last house, anyways, I'm just the last piece of the puzzle."

"That.. makes sense, actually," Nick laughed to himself, "Well, welcome home! ISAAC! GET DOWN HERE!"

You flinched a bit at Nick's sudden yelling, but you heard thundering footsteps as suddenly, your boyfriend ran down the stairs and towards you. You practically leapt into his arms, feeling him pick you up and spin you around.

"You're home!" Isaac was practically squealing into your shirt as he finally put you down, "Do you like it?"

When you saw him like this, he really looked like an oversized puppy. "I love it! The place looks so nice! For now.."

"I'll do my best to make sure they don't rip it to shreds like the last house.." Isaac nervously chuckled, "Come on! Let me show you the room!"

You took Isaac's oversized hand as you followed him up the stairs, leading you through a hallway or two before he opened a door. He led you inside, and you were met with beauty. It was simple, clean, and everything you liked. There was so much personality, the shelves and tables lined with little trinkets, figures, and other pieces of things that you both liked.

You walked over to one of the shelves, smirking. "Did you get me a Jujutsu Kaisen figure?"

"Only because I thought you were really into it," He said with a shy smile, "Did I get it right?"

You nodded and smiled. It was your favorite character from the show, after all. He'd been a good listener after forcing you to watch it with him. "You did, don't worry. This room is amazing, should we go get my bags?"

Isaac lit up a bit. "Oh, right! I'll go get them, maybe get Nick to grab one. You don't worry about any of that, stay here and get yourself acquainted! Look around!"

Before you could protest, he was out of the room and you heard his footsteps down the hallway. You decided to do as he suggested, looking through everything he had set up in your room. You tested out the bed, which was as soft and comforting as you'd loved.

You walked into the office room connected to the bedroom, smiling at his setup and looking over to see a second setup. Before you'd moved, you had another setup that decided to short out during the hot summer heat. When you needed to play something, you often just used Isaac's or bullied Nick when Isaac was busy.

But, there was a second setup, next to Isaac's. It was your favorite color, with some figures and little items from your favorite shows decorating the desk, and a beautiful keyboard and mouse. You approached it, running your hand over the keys and pressing a few. The sound was off the charts.

"You like it?"

You turned around and saw Isaac standing at the door, with a grin on his face. "It's perfect. Was this the real reason you didn't want me here when you were moving in? So you could build all of this?"

Isaac shrugged his shoulders. "Maaaybe."

You sighed and shook your head. "You didn't have to do all this for me," You said with a sigh, but you walked up to him and smiled, "Thank you."

"Of course I have to, I'm your boyfriend," Isaac's voice made you weak in the knees a little bit. When he spoke so softly as he pulled you into a tight hug, his voice warmed your body like nothing else could.

With Isaac's arms wrapped around you like they were, you were able to take in his scent and sit there in the peace in quiet. It felt like pure comfort to you. It felt like home.

#isaacwhy #isaacwhy x reader #the group chat #the group #the group x reader #tgc #tgc x reader #yumi #softwilly #bigt #larry croft #grunk

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC Pick a Fruit: Something To Look Forward to in 2024 ❄🎁🎊

Sup y'all, I'm finally back again! I have not been as active on this blog as I've wanted to be these past two months, but hopefully that will change a little bit as the year settles to a close for winter.

I'm also excited to use my Tarotwave deck which just arrived in the mail this past week. I'm grateful to have backed it on Kickstarter! I know this is gonna be one deck of cards I'll be very amped to use on this blog. It's like an early Xmas gift ^^

2023 has been a bumpy ride for many people (and yours truly), and the biggest thing most of us want to know is how our next year is going to be, and if there's anything good in store. So I made sure to focus on asking for only the most positive and beneficial things that will bless you in this reading, because I want 2024 to be exciting for you and I wanna hype you up.

Pick one of the squishable fruits below to find out a hint or two about what you have to look forward to in 2024.

1 - Strawberry 2 - Orange 3 - Banana

Pile 1: Strawberry

Queen of Cups + VI The Lovers, IX The Hermit, Eight of Wands; Trillion, Anything is Possible, Guidance

For you, pile 1, 2024 is gonna be filled with pleasant little surprises that could appear out of nowhere. The Trillion card is connected to Aquarius and talks about living by ones own truth, but the zodiac is also connected to Uranian forces, helping us receive out-of-the-box insights to whatever challenge we're facing.

I think this pile has spent a great amount of time working on themselves. I don't know if you relate to the word "shadow work" or not, but this feels like you're in the tail end of that cycle. You've grown a lot in emotional maturity over the past months, and perhaps have released some form of major karmic or generational baggage that was weighing on you emotionally. Now it's going to become easier for you to express who you are because the extra emotional burden will not be there as before.

I'm sensing a vast expansiveness to this pile as a result, a willingness to be open to life. It's a calm and steady feeling. This is "come whatever may" energy. 2024 will be a chance for you to settle into the quiet, because that's where the miracles will appear. I feel like this is a quiet that's been anticipated, more relieving than boring. This is a space of being in the flow with life and being ready for whatever comes next without mental resistance.

For some, this could be a romantic reading. I tend to think of strawberries as a rather flirtatious fruit! And we have the Lovers here too. Typically the Lovers talks about decisions, but I don't feel here like you're in a position to be making some kind of clear cut choice at the moment. This is more emphasizing on loving the feeling of love itself. This is a carefree disposition to allowing your heart to guide you when things look overwhelming on the surface.

There's no need or pressure to rush into any kind of decision even if there's an eagerness to do so. You're being encouraged to fully take time out and explore your feelings so you can create a better alignment with the type of person you desire in your life. You're allowing yourself to be curious and open minded without the unnecessary input that others may give you unsolicited. The Hermit is in an empowered position here.

I think 2024 will give you time to lean back rather than pursue, which is not the same as being avoidant. We have the eight of wands here; when the opportunity strikes, it can strike hot! But the key is that you're taking in this energy rather than chasing it. In the meanwhile, you're filling up your cup and learning how to be fulfilled with this peaceful space, and you'll find it easier to be patient when it comes to finding whatever you've been seeking.

You're learning that you have all the time you need to stay in this calm state, and that rushing with everything doesn't always speed up fate. The sense of having more time to sleep and nurture yourself will greatly benefit you when the time comes to receive this incredible spiritual insight, love, or blessings in the material world.

Pile 2: Orange

XI Justice + 2 of Cups, 4 of Cups, 5 of Swords; Single, What You Seek is Seeking You, Stories

For pile 2, the biggest keyword here is Clarity. If you've been in the fog about something for a while, that may start to clear up in 2024. Something that seemed difficult to tackle before will be greatly simplified for you. The Single card is Mercury energy and talks about beginnings in a conventional sense. So you'll look forward to starting over with something next year, perhaps from scratch, so it'll be better than before. You can deal with issues with a fresher mindset.

This is a specific message for a few, but if lately you feel like you've been involved in rumors, gossip, or some form of negativity spread through word of mouth, I see this dissolving in 2024. It will swing back around. Perhaps whoever is spreading the rumor will receive one in return. No hexing done here, but it looks like karma will put in the work to show that you or someone you know is innocent. If someone you know is gaslighting or spreading lies, they will feel the brunt of this. Any negativity sent to you will simply spin around and cancel itself out. So don't worry about other peoples' perceptions in 2024, they will undergo a big shift.

For others in this pile, you may have had some disagreements with your love or even business partner. Either one large disagreement that's been on the back burner for a while, or it's little ones that add up. It'll be different amongst you. But in 2024 these tiny issues will be more easily resolved. Things won't seem to complicated to untangle once any given situation is figured out.

Your energy is spent a lot more here on moving forward and looking for something new next year than dealing with conflicting relationships. With the four of cups, you're ready to move past whatever company or crowd is messing with your mood because you know better shit is on the way and you don't want to waste your emotional currency on anything draining or inherently unsatisfying.

You would rather move into what is right for you than deal with the drama, though I think there will be times when it circles back around and you may have to confront it again… It won't be as difficult as it was in the past, however. You're not dealing with so much confrontation in 2024, especially if you're actively prioritizing healthy relationships and practice healthy boundaries with others.

This may look to be the year where the art of setting mental boundaries is perfected. Mental boundaries means choosing what you'd rather think about than let your mind run loose. No longer trapped in the undertow of other peoples' nonsense, you're starting to get your life fully together. This will spill outwards into the outer world, and this will greatly help ease off the kind of bothersome encounters with people that may have popped up in 2023.

Some of you may identify as people pleasing, which is something that I see less of for you next year. It's almost like the vibe of seeing a kid watch a bunch of other children bully each other during recess, only for that lone kid to decide to go their own way and read a book. He might even make a new friend that way, who knows? 2024 will give you the chance to shrug certain expected worries off your back like water off of duck's feathers. Citrus is clean and refreshing. You can expect only the simplest and cleanest interactions moving forward (yes, I have Simple and Clean inside my head now, oof). It's all about keeping your eye on the prize that awaits ahead.

Pile 3: Banana

9 of Cups + XIV Temperance, XVIII The Moon, 7 of Wands, Prism, Projections, Power

Wow, so much lunar energy in pile 3's cards! I see bananas as lunar because they're shaped like crescents (and to go bananas is to be a lunatic!). Then you got two different version of moon cards on top of one another!

In this deck, the Moon has a softer and more subtle approach than the RWS. There's a greater emphasis on dreams and intuition with this card. Have you been connected to or manifesting with the lunar cycles? Or creating a dream journal to track your visions? If you've been interested in doing so, now would be a good time to look into it, as a confirmation. You're in alignment to receive!

This pile is really feeling the buzz of desires fulfilled and is pushing beautiful energy out into 2024. I'm not seeing specific desires listed here, just the overall potency of manifestation magic. This could possibly be a big year for you even. Just try not to get too carried away with the need to make 2024 into a particular kind of good year. Even if great things are lined up, allow room for the uncertainties to occur. These moments will happen to test you, and you'll need to stand your ground and be firm with what you want without your worries getting the best of you.

Pile 3, with Projections and Power? You are gonna look forward to 2024 being like a canvas for you to paint on. You can decide to paint whatever you wish, for a window of time as brief as the full moon. That's why your other three tarot cards are trying to slow you down a little bit, lol. Even if great luck is offered to you, be careful with how it factors into your life. You're being asked to have modesty, which must mean you're set to achieve or receive something very nice. But yeah, a sense of humbleness and gratitude will really help you here.

You're being reminded with the Moon that you don't have all the answers right now, and it's okay. Oftentimes the wish doesn't get granted until we lose our attachment to it or get sidetracked with life, then it's able to come in more easily. When we try to act resistant and overly arrogant with the seven of wands, it can bite back against us.

I'm also getting a message here about being humble with your blessings so to not attract unwanted attention from people. You could end up in a position where some may throw a lot of projections on you, but you will need to remind yourself of your Prism qualities. Prism is like pure spirit, it's the card of being spiritually aligned with one's self. You will be reminded that beyond good and bad fortunes, the pure spirit of self doesn't change. That is your power source.

Another thing you may look forward to are psychic upgrades. If you've been working on your psychic talent, you could receive a major boost this year. You may experience more clairsenses or messages in your dreams. These experiences and abilities will allow you to find the right time to act or wait on certain choices in your life. Your intuition is being greatly sharpened and amplified in 2024. Use this power with great care.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

#tarotblr #tarot #general reading #tarot community #pac #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a pile #pick an image #psychic readings #pick a fruit #pick a number #intutive reading #intuitive reading #intuitive #intuition #psychic #channeled message #channeled reading #collective reading #pac 2024 #oracle cards #oracle #tarotwave #vitaminseetarot #vitaminsee #tarot readings #tarot cards #tarot reading

[angrypizzaflowercolor]

Kara let out a huge sigh of relief as she finally landed on the balcony of their penthouse. It was quite late so the kids should be in bed already. Or so she thought.

She walked into the living room with a smile on her face as she saw her 3 year old daughter, Alexis, floating upside down and Lena reading a book, occasionally turning to look at their daughter.

"What's going on here?" Kara asked.

As soon as Alexis caught sight of her, she immediately flew to Kara, almost knocking her wind out. "Ieiu." The girl exclaimed

"Hey munchkin. Why are you not in bed? You giving mommy a hard time?"

Alexis flew in circles around Kara. "I not tired."

Kara immediately knew that they were in for a long night. Alexis was their wild child since birth. A little girl full of energy at all times.

"Can I have a moment with your mommy real quick?" Kara asked, catching her daughter and kissing her cheeks. "Is that okay with you."

"Okay." Alexis stated simply, rocketing to her bedroom

Kara cringed. "Probably should have asked her to walk.

"Would she have listened though." Lena chuckled. "Come here." She smiled.

"Hi babe." Kara said softly as she walked towards Lena. Lena got up and Kara pulled her into a kiss. "Do you know how long I've been thinking about kissing you." Kara chuckled.

"We did have quite a day at the tower. Didn't really get time alone. Plus, I had a whole lot of things to sort out with the foundation."

"And I had supergirl and Catco all day." Kara sighed, resting her forehead against Lena's. "Can't we just quit? Take the kids, move to Argo. Have a peaceful life there."

Lena pulled Kara in for another kiss, deeper this time. "Your day could not have been that bad." She chuckled

Kara kissed Lena's cheek then made her way past her to the kitchen. "No, it wasn't, but I miss you and the kids. Gabs and Nixon wake up after I've already left. When I come home they're in bed, and even though the twins are at the tower with us, I never really get to spend time with them because Supergirl has been very busy lately, and you...my lovely wife. We basicsply need to sneak in makeout sessions when no one is looking."

Lena giggled at the last part. "You make a fair point."

"So we can move to Argo?" Kara asked hopefully.

Of course she knew they wouldn't. Their family was on earth. All the people they cared about. Ontop of that, they've worked really hard to get where they are. This was their home, and it was the only home their kids knew.

"No. But... if you want...we can do other things." Lena smirked

"Oh." Kara said with a raised eyebrow. "Like what?"

She started to make her way closer to Lena, pulling her closer by the waist once she got to her. She kissed Lena's neck and she felt Lena put hand in her hair and lightly scratch at her scalp.

Just as Kara was starting to feel better about her day, she heard crying coming from Raven's room.

Lena sighed with a little giggle. "Now both the twins are up."

"Yeah. I'll wrangle the wild one, while you check on Ray Ray. It's probably a nightmare."

Kara kissed Lena one more time.

Lena was the only one who could calm Raven down when she had nightmares, which unfortunately she had often. So Kara went looking for Alexis, who clearly was trying to play a game of hide and seek. Kara listened for her heartbeat and went to get her.

"Got you." She said once she caught her daughter.

"You cheat." Alexis stated with crossed arms and a pout that resembled her own.

"How." Kara chuckled picking the young girl up.

"Super hearing." She said trying to wiggle out of Kara's arms, but giggling as Kara tickled her. "Ieiu stop."

"Okay." Kara said flipping her daughter up side down and carrying her to her room by her feet.

They got into the room and Kara put the girl into bed. They talked for almost an hour before the little girl finally gave in to sleep.

Kara made her way to Raven's room, where Lena sat sniffling, rubbing tears from her eyes.

"Babe." Kara whispered as she motioned for her to come to her.

Lena got up, kissing their daughter on the cheek, making sure she was tucked in properly before walking out of the room and closing the door.

Kara immediately pulled Lena into her arms.

"I just fucking hate that we can't do anything about these fucking nightmares she keeps getting." Lena sobbed in frustration.

Kara started to feel tears prick at her own eyes. Raven had always had awful nightmares. They traumatized her and caused some struggles in her everyday life. She lived in fear.

They tried speaking to specialists but they couldn't quite pin point what the problem was. So everytime she had a nightmare, all they could do is have Lena go in to sit with her until she falls asleep.

Kara led Lena towards their bedroom and the two sat down. Lena laid her head on Kara's shoulder. "I missed you." Lena whispered.

"Ditto."

"Bitch." Lena exclaimed lifting her head from Kara's shoulder and punching her.

"What." Kara chuckled.

"Ditto? Really?"

"Sorry." Kara shrugged

"...say it." Lena said with squinted eyes.

"What?" Kara smiled

"Say...it."

"Say what?"

Lena pushed Kara down into the bed and straddled her waist. "Tell me you missed me." She giggled

"I actually had such a peaceful few hours without you."

"Kara Zorel-Walsh...say it." Lena said as she hovered over Kara, their lips inches apart.

"Mom?" Came a voice.

Lena quickly jumped off Kara and straightened herself out, Kara doing the same.

"Come in." Kara said

Nixon walked in with a concerned expression on his face

"Hey, what's wrong baby?" Lena asked.

Nixon walked into the room and stood in front of them. "I heard you crying." He said softly

Lena sighed. "I forgot to turn on the power dampeners. Sorry darling."

"Don't apologize mom. Are you okay? Is LJ okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Raven is fine. You just know how I get sometimes." Lena reassured taking her son's hand. "I promise, I'm fine." She said after seeing that the expression hadn't left his face.

He smiled as her turned to look over at Kara. "Hey ieiu." He gave Kara a tight hug and she made sure to hold him tight.

"I'm here for mom and LJ, bubba, okay. Don't you worry too much."

"Okay." He smiled. "I love you moms."

"We love you too darling. Now go get some rest okay."

Nixon left the room and Kara and Lena fell back onto the bed. "Maybe we should quit our jobs." Lena chuckled. "Being moms is already a full time job, and ontop of that, I'm running L-Corp, the foundation and fight crime, and you fight crime and have to manage Catco."

"Yep. Lots to do and not much time to do it."

They sat in silence for a bit before Kara looked at the time. "Hey, I'm gonna go and take a shower. Do you wanna join me."

Lena smiled. "Absolutely."

"C'mon." She chuckled, pulling Lena up.

Kara pulled Lena into a kiss and she started backing  into the bathroom, not breaking the kiss and slowly pulling off their clothes.

They heard a door open. "For fucks sake. Why did we have so many kids." Lena sighed

"I can hear you." Gabriella called out as she came down the passage.

"The power dampeners." Kara groaned.

They walked out of their bathroom, into the bedroom where their eldest daughter stood, arms crossed over her chest.

"Sorry angel." Lena smiled. "You know we love you all."

Gabriella rolled her eyes but smiled. "Alexis is gonna sleep in my room tonight."

"She woke up again?" Kara asked in disbelief

"Yep. She's in my room playing with some of her toys."

Lena took a deep breath. "We'll take her to bed now."

"It's fine." Gabriella said. "I'm gonna be up for a while anyways. I'm working on some stuff for the foundation."

"New ideas?" Lena asked

"Yep. I'll show them to you tomorrow when you have time."

"I'll make time." Lena smiled

"Okay, well, that's all I wanted to tell you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight fruit loop." Kara called out.

Lena used the switch in their room that turned on the dampeners for the whole penthouse. Then walked to Kara again. "Surely there can't be more they need from us." She laughed

"I hope not." Kara chuckled. "But with them, you never know."

"Well...for now. Let's take the time we have and make good use of it."

"Get some sleep?"

"Exactly." Lena smiled. "Now, let's go shower so that I can get into my PJs and sleep." Lena groaned

Kara followed behind her. So much for other things

Firstly, I need someone who can write smut for me please😭 I can't do it, and I have stories that are basically ready to be put out, but I want to add smut, but can't write it. So if anybody wants to do that. Just send me a message

Anywaaaaaays. Wrote this real quick because I just wanted to post something. This is kind of an introduction to the Zorel-Walsh kids because I will be writing more stories with them in it. And it just shows some of how Kara and Lena handle thing with their family

#supercorp #domestic fluff #fluff #supergirl #kara x lena #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #kid fic #wlw #ao3

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your true colors - (5/7) Blue"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a message for you from the color blue, the fifth of the 7 rainbow's colors. in this serie of readings about the rainbow's colors, I will try to channel about your true colors, so to help you look inside and see your most beautiful self, appreciate yourself more and hopefully provide some type of guidance if necessary. as cindy lauper would say: "your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow", so let's look at them and hear what they have to say to you and how they (you) can help you look at things in a more positive way.

blue is the color of intuition, inner peace, serenity, spiritual development, acceptance, truth, communication, expression, service, artistry, purpose (throat chakra)... in this reading, I'll try to analyze this side of your character.

you can find the other colors' readings in the pacs list in my pinned post

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

I hear "turmoil". And I think your intuition may be a bit clouded atm. You feel anxious or frustrated at times and may even lash out easily. Ofc it's not good to lash out on others: I think you may accumulate stuff inside until you cannot hold it anymore and you just randomly throw it all on someone that may even not have any fault or may only say a little "wrong" thing. It's a human coping mechanism and you're not doing it on purpose so try to forgive yourself: yes, this person may ofc feel hurt and not everyone may understand your situation or forgive you, especially if it happens more than once, but it's okay to lash out in general so to not keep stuff rotting inside and make it worse. To avoid such situations, you can try to find other outlets for this mental frustration, and use them before getting to that point: eg. moving your body or singing/shouting into the void, punching your pillow.... Maybe you were the one being lashed on in the past and you kinda learnt this habit or maybe you just feel lonely and not appreciated, or you are exhausted also by people and trying to keep up with them. Psychologically, we lash out on others cause it gives us a sense of control that we may lack, but we can change this anyway: we can unlearn stuff with patience, forgiveness and kindness (with yourself) and through repetitions. Learn to communicate more about your stress, your insecurities and fears, your blockages. If not with others, at least with yourself. You are brilliant and sweet but your mind may have troubles processing stuff when you're being overwhelmed by emotions or too many informations, so instead of going full beast mode (one of the 3 usual humans' reactions to this type of situations, dw), trying to focus on one thing at time could be of help. Move your body first, to liberate from the excess of energy and then, focus on journaling maybe (or doodling some specific patterns/coloring). I do feel that writing down your issues and feelings may help you give you a different perspective and also put everything in line and get clarity about what's going on. I do feel that sometimes you may be the one putting stress on yourself by overthinking situations, words and imagining (it's not your intuition talking here but your fears) what others may think of you or how they may perceive you. It's like always having a background noise in your mind and after a while, ofc you cannot deal with it anymore. It's like always feeling wrong and out of place. I'm very sorry about this, you don't deserve it at all and I hope you can shut this overthinking down by realizing your worth never depends on others' impressions of you. Your worth is already within you.

I think you may also hear what you've been told while growing up or by other people pretty often: what they told you when you did something "wrong" or how you were wasting your time if you only needed to relax, or anything of this kind. Honestly, your inner critic may have learned a lot from them and how they easily and even harshly judged you. There's some unlearning to do here, and it's a lot about how you communicate also with yourself not just with others. It's about being kinder, more compassionate and seeing things and your needs for what they are: human stuff. If you need to lay down, you're not wasting time: you're simply recharging. And helping yourself to work in a more efficient way the moment you'll feel replenished. You don't have to drag yourself to the final line, you're not going to win anything this way, not even the approval of those people (would it really matter anyway? Or be worth of all your energy and mental sanity?). Procrastination (and the frustration that may originate from it) happens not when you're lazy but when your body feels in a threat: no matter how many things are piling up in your life, you cannot do any of those and feel guilty and shame yourself as you were in your past. But your body won't move: it's not lack of willpower it's just that your body blocked to conserve energies and survive. If you experience feeling exhausted (even after sleeping), lack of motivation, needing to lay down and even feeling detached from your body, it may be your body trying to protect you from danger, and it could be worth to try and listen to it and understand what is the danger it is perceiving; after this meditation/analysis period, try to walk or do some grounding/breathing exercise and set just easy tasks and complete them slowly to regain control of the situation. Also try to get back in touch with your physical body by touching/caressing and really feeling your movements: dancing (or yoga) is ideal, and you don't have to be a pro: just try and feel your whole body moving. Even the smallest part of it. Mind, body and soul need to come back at one. Don't hold it against you if you cannot do something, tell your mind to stop for a moment: try to follow your body's advice and act as a consequence. Acceptance (about the fact that you need to stop for a little or that you need to do something in a different way from the usual or treat yourself as any other human being -despite you may have lerned you're unworthy and useless) is indeed the key to unblock yourself at times and really move forward. You may also be able to connect better/again with your intuition after this. So yes, for every hars comment you feel telling yourself, try to add a kinder comment about anything you have done or you are. You're not just inherently bad as you were probably made believe and your mind is suggesting you by making every little negative thing look bigger than it is (normal minds' job: they need to protect you so they exaggerate everything to be sure you listen to them), nobody is.

song: you spin me round (like a record) | dead or alive

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pile 2

Dear pile 2, you seem melancholic or nostalgic. And as in the Green reading, you don't wanna share. I know it comes from your gentleness and deep empathy, but you're not being a burden tbh. I read a thing once and it said something like: "Do you like being of help to others and friends, right? It makes you feel good, right? If your answer is yes, then why you don't want your friends to feel good after helping you? Why you're not allowing them to feel joy after doing something good for you?". I think you're used to do things alone and it may be difficult for you to rely on others. To talk about your insecurities and fears, and dreams too... but if you don't share them, others may never know them. Not everyone is emotionally intellingent/intuitive as you. For some of you, there may be perfectionism issues and you may also project them on others which is blocking you from interacting on a deeper level. It's not you, nor them... and you can heal this. Your pile almost feels a mix of the other two piles tbh. And I cannot grasp it entirely... It feels as if you have decided on your own (even unconsciously, as if you were powerless or blind to see/consider anything else) that your present situation is what you're supposed to do and be, and if for some of you it is a good thing, for others (most of you) is just more like accepting a sad situation as in "I cannot change it, so I will do this anyway... it's my duty". It's like a sacrifice you're doing for others' good. And for as noble as it may seem and is your intention (behind it all), it's not going to do you any good nor make you happy... and you know it. Honestly, if you don't like this, if you don't want it, you can change it. You don't have to do anything for others, unless you actively want it. There's no such thing as being doomed to live in a certain way, unless... we fear the change. Unless we decide to willingly close off to what else is calling for us out of fear. Fear of making it, fear of not being good enough, fear of not deserving it, fear of being seen as "different" from how we're generally perceived and therefore judged, fear of not being liked, fear of ending up alone. Fear of the unknown, basically. Of not having control or of being certain of how it will go (while we know exactly where we are and how it is). But we cannot control everything in life... actually we can't control much, just ourself. And ofc we may need to make certain decisions out of need (money, eg.) but... it doesn't seem your situation (maybe just a few of you). I feel you may be used to downplaying yourself/needs and self sabotaging yourself. It's not your fault ofc, it's something you learned from your past (I am hearing gaslighting, and I'm so sorry), but your mind needs to unlearn that, or you won't be able to move away from there ever nor see your real self (ask for help/support if you cannot make it alone or it feels scary. Even ask to a friend or someone you trust... it's okay). You're probably very connected with the moon, maybe you talk with her or you're very deep and like to dig within yourself. Or it's a big part of your chart. Maybe you're a lone wolf, and maybe you even like that (or pretend to, as said). Or maybe it's your soul trying to tell you something or awake you to who you really are. Maybe some of you already know what I am talking about but cannot do anything anyway: I know, it's not easy to take action and change this mental pattern, it's more easy to tell yourself things like "It's not worth it, it'll never happen, it's not for me, what would it change, it doesn't matter, it's a useless effort...". But you can actually change everything you want to. You have such a power the moment you really put your whole self into that. And it matters. If it matters to you, then it's all worth it. Every little effort you take, even if you won't see results at first, it'll be worth it. And it'll take you where you want. At least, it'll show you your worth and deservance for something else, something (at least closer to what) you want.

I think the moon wants to guide you somewhere through your intuition, probably to your real self: you may have been fed lies for a lot, lies about yourself too, and you may have started telling yourself lies as well, to stay in the same place, to be in control (maybe where those who told you first wanted to keep you). Be more real with yourself. Talk with yourself and go deep within, have no fear of finding confirmation for what you already feel but are trying to push away out of that fear, finding excuses and telling yourself lies. Telling yourself "it's okay/better this way, it's fine, I'm good" when you're not. You're so amazing pile 2... don't push this away.

You know it's all for you, you know it. You are beautiful and deserve more. Trust yourself, in particular trust your heart and your guts. I do think that you should trust your emotions more instead of closing them off and analyze them through your mind's filter. Your mind can be biased by all that has learned from others (eg. people pleasing is good when it's not), from the past, but it's not about others and the past, it's about you now. You know that there's something off in this situation you're in and trying to accept, so don't close off to the chance that you can change it, that it can be different, and that you don't have to accept it unless you really (be objective) want it. No matter if someone will be upset by this decision: it's your life, and if they love you, they'll understand (if they don't love you... It's not your people, you don't need them in your life, they won't bring you any good -sorry to be harsh but... it's better to stay alone for a while than to be with people who only use and abuse you). You only have to be yourself in this life, and not someone you're not. And being you, exactly you, trust me, is great. You have such a big heart and open mind (use 'em for yourself too)! I think you believe you are at peace now but it's a fake peace, it's a peace that comes from tranquillity and not having to deal with fears or not having to make decisions on your own and take responsibility for them: some of you may leave decisions about your life in the hands of others, maybe your caregivers (but they may not really know you well cause you aren't... able to speak your truth with them? All out of fear again, of not being "able" to make good decisions for yourself when you totally are). Anyway this is not the real inner peace your soul may be looking for. I do think you're here for something more, something big too actually (whatever you may consider big), and you feel it too. You're not here to do something that others may like, but you're here to do something you like and some others may appreciate too or be thankful for. Maybe not everyone and that's fine, but you'll find your people. You're here to find your purpose, even if it'll take a lot of time and you'll have to try many different roads before getting there (or maybe bravely do just what your souls is asking you to do). And make mistakes or experience some failures (sometimes we fall while running, but we can get up and run again: we don't always get harshly hurt and have to interrupt -you will be able to decide when it's time to give up if necessary). You're not here to live the purpose of anyone else or to let anyone else tell you what's your purpose: that's only your own soul's call. Others cannot know it unless you unleash it freely. Talk with your mind, please. There's so much potential within you (also in arts I hear -I do feel for many the issue's about career/studies), there's so much willpower and joy... don't be blind to it all.

song: because of you | ne-yo (first lines in particular)

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pile 3

Your pile is the one of those who are trying and choosing calmness over the agitation of life and their mind -or should. You could be very spiritually gifted or just very in tune with your spiritual side or the 5d. You like to take time for you, to meditate, to ponder... or again, you should. You may get downloads from the 5d pretty often, even if you're not aware of them yet, or always.. or you may occasionally block them even unwillingly (maybe cause of fear of the unknown or of receiving the wrong info or of how others would see you or think of you if they knew; or maybe you lack trust or something -could be a religious trauma too). You may doubt about your connection with the 5d or your abilities if you are into divination of any type. And you may not trust your intuition that often even if I think it's pretty on point. You have reached (or are going to reach soon) some type of inner peace (and clarity that will come from it) and this will help you a lot for your future endeavours, even those related with spirituality. I also think you may have undergone a spiritual awakening of sort and probably are taking some time off to recover from it and all the ups and downs it brought in your energy and mind/life. You may also be artists or love arts (and honestly working on something artsy of your like could help you find calmness and clarity too and maybe get clearer downloads too). I do feel lot of peace in your energy, it feels like floating on water, reconnecting with the self... Maybe you're called to do this if you're not there yet, if you are still confused at least here and there. Take time for you, to immerse yourself in a peaceful environment (maybe even in a pool of water or the sea or in a tub) and just stay there for a while and feel the water clense your energy, your mind and your whole self (if you can/are able to, you can literally go underwater for a moment and enjoy the silence there). Take time to disconnect from the rest, from all that is just bothering you and your energy (energy vampires for some). Reconnect with your core and your intuition, meditate near/under water. Feel your heart beating, focus on it.

You may experience occasional blockages in your communication (also your daily one, not with the 5d as mentioned): you may not always remember the word for something or feel like your mind may go blank here and there (especially during Mercury rx). This could make you retreat from others at times and not feel confident enough to be seen/share stuff (fear of making mistakes and look "stupid"/feel unworthy: you're not that, my love. Not even if you are used to get talked over or interrupted or not listened to. Please start talking and sharing what you want, it's ALL important stuff -especially if related with spirituality-, even the weirdest things: they're part of you and so very important and cool. If someone doesn't listen, find someone else: it's not you the "problem" but who you talk with; also be your own trusted audience: it starts with you, with giving yourself the right attention and importance. And trust. I mean, you're amazing, don't fear to be seen). Yes, it could be also because of some type of inner turmoil/doubt/insecurity so again, try to find some balance, and reach that inner peace you so deeply need. It'll bring clarity also for what's ahead and for the decisions you may need to take soon (can't be clearer, sorry, but there's something ahead and you may get infos after meditating). I think you may be often distracted by something/keep yourself occupied and moving from a thing to another almost restlessly: it could be your mind trying to avoid thinking about something specific (maybe your insecurities' source: if you slowed down you would be obliged to analyze it, and... tbh probably you should do it now before moving forward in your life -reminder you don't have to do it alone anyway) or it could just be that you don't really know what to do and/or who you are, and are trying different things. It's not bad per se, it's good to experience different things actually as you may get a proper feedback on them and decide if you really like them or not, but maybe after a while of no result/feeling nothing, you should try and realize which is the thing that really calls you instead of losing time and energy around (trying to make everyone else happy): working so much in so many directions (or with so many people telling us what to do/asking for help), won't always bring us answers. Especially if we're giving ourself away to others or helping others first. Try to go slowly for a while, and be open to any message that may reach you at that time of meditation. It's okay to stop at times, to take a breath: you're not running out of time. Take care of yourself now, treat yourself to some time off and get comfortable with yourself and your own emotions as they may just trigger you or overwhelm you very easily sometimes. Clarity is really just around the corner, is really there, behind all the noises that you may get from the more external parts of your mind, the ones you pay the most attention to during your daily life, the ones that listen to others much more than to yourself and your needs. You just need to find some peace and calm, to be able to see beyond those noises, to dig between them and get your answers. To trust and listen to yourself only. You're a beautiful talented soul, you deserve more, especially from yourself. Dogs/horses may be omens for you or may bring messages if you dream about them (you can check on Google some meanings also according on colors/breeds), or maybe they're your Chinese horoscope signs.

song: hrs & hrs | muni long

#pick a pile #pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #free tarot reading #tarot readings #intuitive readings #psychic readings #clairs readings #divination #colors readings #tarotcommunity #tarotblr

[seventh-fantasy]

li xiangyi, yin, and femininity

we all know that li xiangyi is a character of fractured identities. and li lianhua is an unreliable narrator to his own story. these make him not the most straightforward character to study. but I've believed in treating li lianhua as a part of li xiangyi, rather than separates. and there must be a common thread that ties all of him together. thus, I offer what I have found to be the most useful lens to use to view him as a cohesive whole, regardless as li xiangyi, li lianhua, or any other identity he may reinvent into: his 阴 yin qualities. (yin of yinyang)

this framework suggested by the drama's text itself has helped clarify to me his strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and struggles. by identifying this constant, too, makes it so much easier talking about what has changed in him.

[to the, hopefully growing, boli lhl hivemind @markiafc @ananeiah]

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there are some notes on the concept of yinyang and chinese conceptualisation of gender I have to preface with.

[disclaimer: of course, I'm not even trying to cover a tip of what experts have extensively studied and debated in a depth it deserves. all I'm doing is try to parse the broad, fundamental ideas that are needed to explain my blorbos through my own spotty brain filter. so there bound to be nuances I've overlooked or some degree of my own interpretation. pretentious but needs to be done.]

阴 yin and 阳 yang are concepts characterised by passiveness, darkness, gentleness, femininity etc, and proactivity, light, toughness, masculinity etc respectively. a very key and handy concept to have in mind is their relationship to each other - which I'll not attempt at explaining better than literal scholars have:

Yin and yang exist only in relation to one another internally as the way warmth-coldness only exist relative to one another. Furthermore, when using yin-yang as an organizational schema, achieving balancing harmony is always the goal, not domination nor subordination of one to the other. [x]

while yin and yang can be symbols of femininity and masculinity, it doesn't mean all female are yin and all male are yang. it's certainly not a strict 1-to-1 equation. the concept of gender in chinese context is more social than biological. this suggests room for fluidity, and shaping of identities, often through social rituals as one journeys through life. it also means that there can be femininity in the masculine, and vice versa - in fact, that's only healthy because you need a good balance of the two worlds. no one part is better than the other. if you think of the two components as relative to each other, they are always interacting and affecting each other, rather than being strict and inert binaries. simply put, it needs to be kept in mind that there are greater nuances in applying yin and yang to the definitions of gender, and to avoid at all cost a simplification of this framework into a binary.

sure, the show has implied that lxy's powers and energy are yin-coded. but femininity is only one of the multiple attributes of yin. so how are we extending lxy's yin to femininity specifically? it's in the text that substantiates and qualifies lxy as feminine. dead women being used as proxies to his character. being literally dressed as a woman in order to put himself into their shoes and feel what they've felt. adopting a name that happens to be very, very feminine - 莲花 lianhua (lit. lotus flower) (it must be caveated that chinese names are NOT gendered. but there are just some names that are more feminine than others.) him coming to lead a life revolving around traditionally feminine, domestic things as li lianhua. him having interactions with the women around him like he's in his own element - no pressure and tension at all, unlike with all the other men.

as such, I'm more willing to use yin and femininity interchangeably in discussing lxy (while it's not necessarily applicable to every point that will be mentioned albeit there being some degree of implied association). and it's for the sake of elucidating what I feel is an intention or very plausible reading of the canon text in parsing feminine experiences in lxy's character. and thus, his queerness.

one last note is that taoism is going be mentioned quite a bit as well because of how much it as a philosophy honours the yin quality. its key tenets include valuing passiveness and inaction as a form of action, and submitting to the nature of things. and we will see how those come up in lxy's life too. (though I'm not gonna attempt to deep dive into it here beyond broad strokes of it.)

-

a huge part of li xiangyi's yin actually manifests in him being a passive person. this applies not just to li lianhua, but also li xiangyi. I know. ok wait hear me out. the idea of yinyang is after all components that can change and are relational to each other: thus, there were points in li xiangyi's life when he was less passive than other points, but they ultimately don't match up to the degree of aggression displayed by other men around him. so relative to their display of proactivity and aggression, he can be considered as passive. the best example is that of shan gudao proposing to launch an offensive on jinyuan alliance, while lxy - as much as he was arrogant about it - was standing his ground on not taking action in favour of peace.

it has already showed up in his childhood as well. he wasn't a particularly competitive child: 从来都没有谁要和你争 nobody has ever thought of competing with you over anything, he told sgd as he recalled of their times growing up. it was in fact sgd who was desperate to control and override lxy's presence. baby lxy did not hesitate at all over giving up on winning in favour of protecting his only rare few close relationships left in the world (given how hard-earned relationships are when they're non-familial !!!!). as much as I resent the one-dimensional writing of sgd, he has served as a very strong marker to highlight on lxy's yin.

-

I've harped on it several times before but this is the time I finally get to explain it proper: my own theory is that li xiangyi became an unparalleled swordsmaster because of his yin/feminine quality, not in spite of it. an interesting point that had been out in the open unclaimed until it was brought up in our friend group is that, li xiangyi does not actually fit anybody's conventional image of a 武林盟主 wulin mengzhu (ie. ruler of wulin). it would most likely have been some burly, muscular, ultra-masculine dude. even if they don't look like the demonic monk, it should be someone more like di feisheng. but. it's li xiangyi, the boyish, delicate-looking kid, who came to the top. (no wonder people - mostly men - love or love to bully hate him like weak men hate powerful women??)

"why didn't they cast someone who looks more like a wulin mengzhu (read: traditionally manly)?" no, no that's precisely the point. nobody said wulin mengzhu have to look manly. and also who is to define the manliness required to be in a place of authority? (or in my other meta, we would ask, who is to define anybody gets to have the authority over anyone else at all?)

by taoist ideal, gentleness is the most refined form of strength. li xiangyi has been haunting and distracting me in my chinese calligraphy practices lately because I'm thinking about how this must be the closest to what it felt like lxy becoming the best swordsman in jianghu. (so pretentiously brainrotten of me, I know, BUT IT'S REAL and I'm suffering.) mastering a chinese art is essentially about mastering a delicate balance between force and gentleness; being able to draw force from softness 柔中带刚 and an ability to maintain this balance. a beginner will instinctively hold a brush for the first time with brute, unrefined force. some fairly reputable contemporary calligraphers, according to my teacher, can be seen as being either too soft or too forceful - but are still able to pass off as good enough. it's then, the master of masters who will have the sophistication of a firm yet flexible control of the brush with the appropriate use of gentleness/laxness that produces a harmony of strokes. this idea extends to any other sort of chinese craft or practice including traditional chinese medicine, and I believe, swordsmanship too. I'm taking a fucking leap of faith here to say this because I practise NO sort of (chinese) martial arts, I must caveat. (someone who does may want to say something...) but theoretically that should be how it works.

it is not for no rhyme or reason, or *handwaves* that lxy emerged to the top AND is almost undefeatable. among a competitive, forceful (ie. yang) wulin, li xiangyi stood out with a power and energy defined by yin (ie. gentleness and stability) that led him to create his signature 扬州慢 yangzhouman. it is characterised by 慢 slowness (my calligraphy teacher says to us all the time to take it slow), and also described by dfs as 中正绵长 - which I would best describe by painting a picture of a steady and stable stream. these precisely speak of the essence of a mastery of gentleness as strength to me.

conversely, dfs's way in mastering power is very largely premised on taking action because he literally had no other choice in the environment he grew up in. both of them develop in opposite ways. it was the case of gentleness for lxy clearly because he grew up in a safe, nurturing environment that had allowed him to be slow and steady at his own pace, drawing on his natural gifts.

-

now top of the wulin world at 17, li xiangyi founds sigu sect. li xiangyi, the boy before becoming menzhu and li xiangyi the leader of sigu sect are not the same.

how then did a (relatively) passive boy like lxy end up founding sigu sect. this lxy is the one who was fostered into competition - though not in an abusive, twisted way. in fact he was raised in a rather taoist way by his shifu: to be honest with yourself and respect your opponent. so he honoured whatever powers he had been bestowed with by nature. he gives into it. even so, at another level, I just have a sense that shifu and shiniang's competitive marital spat had an insidious effect on the boys...though the detrimental effect was more on sgd than lxy. baby lxy feels like a sweet-natured kid who was just in his own zone, you know - some (aka sgd) would say, too much of him even, to have not realised what was wrong at all with his shixiong for years.

that's not all of course. I've always gotten the vibes that his attitude behind forming sigu sect felt more like, this is what all the good men of jianghu do and I will have to do it now especially that I'm the best. it didn't feel particularly personal to me, but rather what would have been expected of him by the social climate of wulin jianghu (eg. lxy saying to 光耀师门 bring honour to his teacher). it's definitely not an expectation from his shifu, who explicitly told him that he was never expected to become a noble figure of any sort, but just to be alive and contented. as concluded by the man himself as li lianhua: "有些人入了江湖是为了立心，而有的人入江湖为的是立命。我却不知道自己真正想要的是什么。some people enter jianghu for the cultivation of the mind, others for a cultivation of a meaningful life. but I never knew what I truly wanted." he was ultimately, unwittingly a passive player in his own story of becoming the great sigu sect leader.

(at this point, as a side note, I do wonder if there were any other similar sects or alliances that function the same as sigu sect that came before it. because I'm damn well sure there must be something, as likely as there must have been generations of wulin legends who came before lxy. but of course, this is not what the story is concerned with at all and I'm ok with that.)

it's crucial to point out that, even despite this being the phase of his yang in the display of taking action and enacting firmness, lxy had still done sigu sect with the sole purpose and manner of upkeeping peace and order (in the way of the pro-universal love, anti-aggression mohist 侠 xia leader of the people). he's still very characterised by yin in my books, especially when vis-à-vis to sgd.

a li xiangyi full of himself and made himself too useful to the people was only bound for a great asteroidal fall, in the concept of 物极必反 - or in taoist lexicon 反者道之动 (ie. anything that has reached its limit will only start developing in the opposite direction). if you think you're above all, you can only go down.

this manifests during the next time he took action - and it was one so forceful that it overpowered even his opponent, dfs who ended up being the passive, receiving party in this case - was in initiating the battle at donghai 10 years ago... and gee oh boy. it didn't end well - for both of them, but even more so for lxy. (dfs was like 'tis but a scratch (shrugs)' as compared to him being ripped off his tendons by jiao liqiao like nezha did to the dragon prince. truth is he had to go into a 10-year healing retreat served by his entourage. :p) ok, I digress.

xiao zijin was quick to attribute sigu sect's fall to lxy's arrogance - in turn setting the stage for lxy's 10 years of self-hatred and the framing of lxy as a villain? irresponsible figure? by jianghu. (god forbid girls do anything! ok for legal reasons, this a joke.) lxy lost his mind in ways I believe he never had in his life there and then upon seeing his shixiong dead. so, you could say he led the jianghu world to ruins out of love (using this term loosely). but it feels inaccurate to say it's due to arrogance. he did not do that out of self-importance or ego, especially when the revenge for sgd was a collective decision made by sigu sect as we know from the flashback. so when llh pinned all fault on himself for being arrogant in the past, it is with caution to take his words because that's the unreliable narrator in him speaking.

-

anyway, it's precisely li xiangyi that is capable of bouncing back from such a fatal crisis, equipped with his yin and a mastery that gave him the power of flexibility.

it's extremely vital to re-establish that literally the only thing that was keeping li xiangyi alive, physically, as li lianhua is yangzhouman. (monk wuliao literally said that to lxy even though he did facilitate in saving him.) it's the yangzhouman that was drawn from lxy's mastery of yin. without yangzhouman, li xiangyi would not even have the chance to become li lianhua and undergo any needed process of transformation. without li xiangyi, there would have been no yangzhouman. no li xiangyi, no li lianhua, get it?

the point is not to deny the change li xiangyi wants to make and has made. but to acknowledge that change isn't about complete erasure and destruction. something from you survives. something in you had kept you alive to have you come so far, regardless of all the bad bits that you want to denounce of. you've always been worth it.

bringing back the thing about his new name: the distinction must be made that he did not pick it because it was feminine but it just so happened a feminine name had resonated with him. (read: he didn't necessarily identify as a woman but identified with femininity. at least within the parameters of canon text.)

he also made an interesting choice to retain his surname for someone who was desperate to sever ties from his past. hmm. or maybe he wasn't that desperate? when li lianhua says li xiangyi is dead, I believe it meant that li xiangyi the sigumen menzhu is dead rather than li xiangyi as an entirety. li lianhua is a returning to the path lxy could have gone if he did not establish sigu sect, the path that shifu wanted him to take. when he walked to the doors of sigu sect in the aftermath, nothing was actually stopping him from going back (people were still around and alive, instead of all dead people, you know)... except for himself. taking that action would have been too much for him. so he went with the flow of life giving him a chance at rebirth and walked away. there, inaction as a form of action.

zhan yunfei and qiao wanmian have said to li lianhua, oh that doesn't sound like li xiangyi at all. but has it been considered that, maybe it was sigu sect's lxy who wasn't the real lxy? sigu sect lxy was one big performance of the values of masculinity and heteronormativity that llh had came to an awareness of, and eventually struggle with again and resist against in the final year of his life. there had only been some glimpses of his true nature allowed (validated by fang duobing talking about lxy at his altar).

imho, most flashbacks of lxy during that period felt impersonal and more like a template of a hero expected to marry his girl at 18. going through all the motions and steps of a normative life even before he was old enough to grasp and explore his own identity and what it meant in the world. no wonder he denounced so much of what he had done as lxy including liking girls. walking away then also meant a walk away from those duties and expectations. li lianhua is li xiangyi liberated from masculine duties and heteronormative performance.

in doing that, he had the opportunity for the first time in his life to explore what he truly wanted, at least within the parameters of what he could afford to do at that point. he could go on to build a domestic, feminine life within the space of jianghu (as I've established here). it's a kind of feminine lifestyle that doesn't quite exist in mainstream society - being a woman there meant to stay put in a domestic space without much room to move socially. nor did it exist in wulin jianghu because even the women there like shi-guniang and jlq were expected to be masculine, aggressive, competitive. so building a mobile home in the space of jianghu is his way of defining the life he wants and can have. li lianhua is the extension of femininity in li xiangyi - and one that can be free.

it's also worth talking about in my opinion what is one of the most important and a favourite dihua moment: when dfs said to lxy that his greatest weakness was to like being a hero. and a swordsman should be without weaknesses. I'm forever wrapped up in how many layers this can be read in. was he mad at lxy for liking to be a hero or having weaknesses, or both? if the former, it was dfs criticising, based on lxy's public reputation, lxy's oversized illusions about being a hero - a figure of masculinity with an unrealistic sense to uphold noble goals eg. saving the world etc. that is actually perfectly logical coming from dfs, the straightforward, no-nonsense, morally neutral guy with no illusions about heroism (in this case, he feels more like a yin). but at the same time, we should understand that lxy's motivations behind the donghai battle are more personal than noble. if any, it was actually the opposite of noble - it was like he was acting out of the role of a caretaker of his family, and at a cost of the peace and order of jianghu he was set on guarding(!!) dfs also knew that lxy was there just for his shixiong. and so, dfs, who happens to be the epitome of yang, can be read as a symbol of masculinity disapproving of lxy for being sentimental and emotional; for having the "feminine" desires to simply want to defend his family (not saying those are exclusively feminine traits but they have been conventionally associated as feminine). I think both layers of reading are correct and should work together to contribute to the complexity of their characters. (we can see how it contributes to lxy and dfs being the perfect yinyang halves to each other, which I will come back to briefly touch on later.)

-

for 10 years he lived a life of seclusion and staying-in-his-own-lane a taoist would be proud of. he knew he was dying and has always been ok with dying, as he claimed. but did he want to die? to think of it, it was the opposite. because in those 10 years when he could have 100% just taken action to take his own life, he didn't. in fact, he lived on and took care of himself in the way shifu wanted him to. he had simply preferred letting nature run its course. if bicha didn't take him, he wasn't gonna do anything. but if he died one day very soon, he would be ok with it too. sure, he was maybe banking on a lead to sgd's whereabouts to appear during his last years alive but that clearly wasn't the only thing on his mind for NINE years because he didn't actively go out seeking for that either. this is basically him telling dfs that he would just lie in the sun and wait for the sweet release of death, if dfs were to force him to fight. not even the mortal threat from dfs was enough to move him into action of fighting back or killing himself.

time and again, lxy as llh was dragged into fdb's cases but not only that, he also maintained an impersonal distance with them. it's starkly different from the usual (wuxia) hero archetypes (for eg. fdb) who would be more impassioned and personally invested in the plight of the victims- or unlike most seemingly aloof protagonists who would somehow grow emotionally invested over time. one of the many things I love about llh is that he never tries a second time to persuade people out of their decisions he finds unwise (eg. him just wanting to move on in response to the girls in 女宅 insisting on staying behind with their slave master at first.) he will not interfere in other people's choices made in their own lives. it's not his business. he didn't even want to be there, to be honest.

however as the story progresses, more and more people - especially men, his past, and the leads to the truth came back to demand and taunt him into doing something. they vary from well-meaning people without any harm intended such as fdb intruding upon his private space completely uninvited and qwm wanting him back; to dfs merely seeking him as a mean to an end initially (eg. I only need him to live long enough to have one last fight); and finally, on the other end of the spectrum, outright aggressive and hostile people like sgd and xzj who wanted him to die. under all this pressure, he tried his best to deflect, but he does waver especially when it comes to matters concerning the people he cares about aka his obsession wish of 10 years of looking for sgd's remains that had lied low until fdb entered his life, and then later on taking revenge for his shifu.

looking for sgd became his final bid at taking action. he was operating on a slim chance of getting some emotional closure from finding out his shixiong is dead for real, yes. what a good plan. but objectively unnecessary. or surprise! uhhh...finding out his beloved shixiong is actually alive and would strangle him for one corn chip? AND OH NO IT GOT WORSE- uncovering a devastating truth about his shifu's death that he could have totally gone on with life fine without knowing if he had continued not caring.

but it is sometimes just impossible not to care - it is only human to care. and he is human, not an icon in the image of a hero. so he took a chance, once more, and it killed him in unprecedented ways. it's donghai all over again. things in life don't go as planned. you fuck around and it fucks you back. finding out the truth behind his shifu's death and his family background from the past did nothing for him as li lianhua living in the present.

it's no wonder that this lxy decisively relinquishes the desire to take action in the end. he goes back to letting nature run its course. and this time, stands firmly to it despite everyone begging him otherwise. wangchuan flower could only give him a recovery (or survival?) rate of 30%. there's a 70% chance of failure and even in the 30% he was not sure what he was to become. in comparison, dfs took a 10% chance game of survival in a heartbeat, and it pushed him to new heights. that's how they differ: he thrives by taking risks and action while lxy the other way round. so, something like that has happened before and he wants none of it again.

-

he leaves lotus tower, only taking his horse and a sack - relinquishing almost every other material belonging he had - and sets off on a journey. before xzj interrupted...where to was he going?? I wonder. we don't know for sure, I think? and are we allowed to know? that makes the scene he had with xzj an understated inflection point in the very last part of his journey. yes, he was already on his way to...maybe die? but not necessarily. you don't have to travel distances with your belongings for that, right? or speak to dfs personally about not wanting to fight? (borrowing one of @ananeiah's takes.) regardless, he was definitely leaving behind jianghu - not only wulin jianghu (he already did that 10 years ago), but also the jianghu space he had carved out in the last 10 years.

what sparked the decision to jump off the cliff in him was dfs's words from the night of their wedding 10th donghai anniversary: 横扫天下容易，断相夷太剑不易 conquering the world is easy, breaking xiangyi sword is not. in the original context, dfs was talking about defeating lxy being harder than conquering the world. but when it came to this scene, it was to lxy about forsaking the very last worldly possessions he had after already giving up on lotus tower and hulijing (including releasing his horse), especially his only connection left to swordsman lxy.

perhaps it had dawned on him that, wanting things at all was bad for him. in the last 10 years, he lived a life of seclusion, wanting very little. but he had still wanted things. there were still things he couldn't let go of that had led him to this state. despite having lived on an identity inspired by a buddhist teaching for 10 years, maybe it was only at this point that he was finally the closest to reaching an understanding of it. (I wish I was knowledgeable enough right now to dive into the possible buddhist reading here but alas. I'll leave it to our resident expert @markiafc)

it doesn't quite matter in the end where he was going after all. what mattered was that he literally went where the water took him and we're not supposed to know where it ends. I'm not seeing this in a bad and pessimistic way though. I think the relief in all this is that he had tried his best to within his abilities. also it's a form of enlightenment in relinquishing a desire, an obsession, a need to take any more action in order to live well. thus his ending felt to me relatively tender, empowering, and kind - albeit bittersweet and heartaching - than other possible kinds of ending, in a story where it was very possible for him to have died under the knives of his opponents or bicha at any moment, outside of his control.

-

if you've come so far in this post, congratulations! but also a reveal is that... you're not immune to the dihua propaganda threaded throughout this post. :P

as mentioned, other men like sgd and xzj in lxy's life were incredibly hostile to him. their yang nature overwhelmingly powers his yin. but dfs is different. dfs is the yang counterpart that fits perfectly to his yin.

dfs's yang is one that contains yin, that mirrors lxy's balance of yang in yin. it was suggested in text they are yinyang-coded meant to complement each other, given that whenever wangchuan flower's yin vs yang properties were discussed, the two men were always spoken about in the same breath. more importantly, as with the above few analyses of dfs's words playing a big role in shaping of lxy's choices with multiple meanings - as well as their day-to-day interactions - we can see that they constantly play off each other.

dfs's yang energy has been used to help lxy prolong his life (though not saving him entirely), while lxy has used his yin energy to save dfs and subsequently helped him attain his breakthrough. dfs has also helped lxy in his breakthrough of yin but not in the same way as dfs's cultivation of his combative powers, and rather, it's for lxy an understanding of his own path to take in life - a cultivation of the mind (both times 10 years before and after). given how significant dfs is in the shaping of lxy's realisation of the yin path - alike his shifu has, it's no wonder that they were the only two people lxy had imagined in his last sword dance of a farewell to jianghu.

with each of them coming together to form the perfect yin-yang model, they're a harmony of yin and yang representing the cosmos. what I also love is that they didn't start out as a perfect fit, but only towards the end of the story was the harmonisation completed, which makes sense for two components that are always in a flux influencing each other. the fact that they were number 1 and 2 of wulin, and being the only ones capable of understanding each other in a level nobody else could... it all reinforces the cosmic sense of their relationship. they're the halves to a whole, fitting in a specific way nobody else can.

(I mean. technically this is going into the space of extrapolation based on a tangential interpretation of canon text, so do take it with a pinch of salt. but of course this pinch of salt can do wonders for a shipper's feast... :P and this certainly could have been a meta of its own expanding on dfs's side of the analysis, but this is it for now in this context.)

-

to think of it, li xiangyi has actually died more than that one time that turned him into li lianhua. first was a death of him as a nanyin royalty - I resent having to bring up nanyin like it should hold any weight to the narrative as far as I'm concerned, but the point being that he had a completely different (familial-based) life before that still stands. then he had a rebirth as li xiangyi, disciple and swordsman to his shifu and shiniang, and later died again when li xiangyi the sigu sect leader took over. lxy the sigu sect leader died at sea in the battle 10 years ago and came back as li lianhua. (just like nezha, died after battling at east sea and rebirthed from the lotus) li lianhua then dies by the end of the drama.

there can be a myriad of interpretations as to what exactly happened to him, including the possibility that he's still alive. regardless, we can agree that li lianhua as an identity has ran its course, and he had to evolve again. but into what form?

in the line of thought of yin and femininity, and how his transformation has been in an increasing degree of presentation of femininity - even way back when I was watching the show, I had the idea of him living socially as a woman post-li lianhua. I don't know what he would be realistically doing or what could be practical for him in such an identity. but conceptually it was sensible and compelling to me before diving deeper into the details. (I have more elaboration to do on this that I won't be talking about here publicly but it is in the same strain of idea as this other comparative meta I wrote.)

I think the next possible identity lxy can assume - alive in the material realm or not - is one that will be beyond a material being. a nameless entity. once you've gone through the phases of life - from not knowing to knowing, and perfecting knowledge, then to the surpassing of knowledge - you surpass all worldly existence, and become one with the cosmos.

I end this off with an excerpt from Tao Te Ching's Chapter 41 (I'm not pretending to have read the whole book ok but I couldn't resist including this):

明道若昧，进道若退，夷道若纇 [...] 道隐无名 The bright path seems dim; Going forward seems like retreat; The easy way seems hard [...] The Tao is hidden and without name. (x)

the character translated into "easy" is the same 夷 yi of li xiangyi's name. somehow this seems to encapsulate the journey of his life: one that seems blessed and smooth-sailing but ending up to be rocky and turbulent. but at the end of the day, after all that he had been through, he will become hidden and without name.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhl #lhlmeta #my posts #a big win for the inaction fandom. lxy would have been patron saint #this inevitably turned into a 'lhl is a taoist and buddhist story if not a very chinese story' meta hbhjbjhbhjjb #the last thing i do before going to sleep is write this meta. the first thing i do after waking up is write this meta. #i feel so insane writing this. it kept growing like a monster. do you think this is a joke it's like my part-time job now #but it's one of the few times in my life i have confidence in my insanity. so. #crazier thing is. this meta is approaching 6k words yet i still think there must be things i haven't covered. #the last section is so nuts idk how i even wrote it guys i think i was possessed #it's also like the most pretentious way to put that he's dead in this world ok hjbjhbhjbhjbjbh #to be clear iirc the drama didn't say LXY'S POWER/ENERGY IS YIN in the same way it literally said dfs's energy is yang #but it's definitely implied by the explanation of the flower's healing properties for both of them. on top of yangzhouman #also fuck. another reason he didn't choose to save himself was so dfs could have the yang flower which he believed was what dfs wanted #thank u frens mark and ana for indulging my brain in the first time i brought the lxy as woman thing up. for it to have come this far #ofc disclaimer is that a lot of this is my own reading. it doesnt have to be agreed by everyone #i would be very happy though if any part of it resonated with anybody #also a good part of the analysis is based on my memory of the show. though i did revisit parts selectively to verify. sooooo. yeah.

[gayritory]

!GN Dating quackity headcannons! (fluff warning!)

this is in an headcannon format but it has details like it's a story!

Tws: cussing, DARK HUMOR, use of y/n,no care for punctuation, fake addictions

TYPE OF LOVE;

The type of love you feel with quackity is one of a kind.

It's not the physical love, it's not the gifts, it's not the words, it's not the gifts, and it's not the act of service.

It's the silence. It's the feeling you both feel together. It's the euroma or vibe that surrounds you both. It's the tension. It's the content feeling of what the other person feels, and it feels like home.

In other words the type of love is what you feel for each other.

(you'll recognize what I'm talking about the more you get into the story!)

PLAYFUL INSULTS:

y'all insult each other so much.. (like it's kinda concerning...)

it's getting to the point where you'd tell each other to jump off a cliff.

"y/n...What'd you do if i was at the edge of a cliff?"

"I'd ask you to do a backflip "

"Y/N-"

"I dare you."

"Y/n I'm not jumping off a cli-"

"NO BALLS??!"

Most couples compliment each other on looks, but you'd rarely see that happening in your relationship.

"your a fucking disgrace y/n".

"shut up quackity! You look like an Edgar combined with Justin Bieber"

"y/n……..to far"

"not my fault you look like that"

"SHUT UP! you literally walk like Daffy duck! No not even walk, you wobble"

You don't have to worry about getting disgusted looks in public from PDA! you'd instead get annoyed looks from you both bickering too much.

Arguments like these always end up with you loving the way how both of you connect. The playful feeling bouncing off of one another and on to each other. You endear the feeling of how you both match each other's energy.

CONTAGIOUS LAUGHTER:

The contagious breakout is usually started by either one of you stumbling with your words..

"okay c-chat, me and y/n went t-to the sToRe the o-o-other d-day-"

all hell breaks loose.

When you guys start laughing there's no stopping until you both run out of breath.

Usually contagious laughter is from the sound of the other's voice, but your guy's contagious laughter is from the fact that one of you is happy and content.

It's the fact that your loved one is feeling happy, so the happy energy that surrounds them ends up surrounding you.

LOPSIDED SMILES:

THIS IS A BIG THING IN YOUR GUY'S RELATIONSHIP!

you know quackity's little lopsided smirk?

yeah, that!

it could be at social events when a fan asks you a question, or it could even be when your both with a group of friends and you just zone out.

In other words, everytime you talk with passion, quackity will ALWAYS smile with adoration towards you.

usually you never notice him smirking at you but, of course chat points it out!

he ignores the chats 'awws' until a dono mentions it; he just simply replies by saying "shut up".

they're was this one time you caught him glancing up at you while you rambled- your rambling always causes him to slightly smirk at you in content...

Your passionate energy bounces off of you and on to him and he just adores the feeling of it!!

"chat, you can't see my shirt? Here, I'll stand up!"

"My cousin gave me this shirt for my birthday! It's been awhile since i met them but, hopefully i can visit them in the summer- OH MY GOD QUACKITY YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME!! it'd be so fun for you to meet my family-

You then look down to see a boy in an awe coma.

Nothing is in his head except the feeling of adoration! adoration of how much he loves your passionate energy.

"Why are you looking at me like that?

When you're happy, he's happy.

"QUACKITY STOP! your making me feel all blushy inside!!!"

ever since that moment you caught him staring, you paid extra attention to see when he slyly smiled at you so you decided to start smirking back at him.

The feeling you feel when you return his small smiles makes you feel all warm inside.

Your relationship is 100% reciprocated and is not one sided at all.

whenever you reciprocate each other's ways, it gives another reason as to why your soulmates.

COUNTING HIS MOLES:

it's a weird thing you do..

instead of counting sheep when you can't sleep, you count quackity's moles instead.

you end up noting down how many moles you counted each night to see the difference.

one night you were just counting his moles and noticed you counted 50 more today than yesterday!

"QUACKITY!!"

"Y/N? what the fuck-"

"HOW'D YOU GROW 50 MOLES IN A DAY??" are you dying???"

"bye. I'm sleeping on the couch."

In the morning you ended up telling him what you've been doing at night, and ever since then he always teases you.

"CHAT, do you know what y/n does to me while i sleep?

"quackity….no. sto-"

"SHE COUNTS MY MOLES!"

"ITS NOT THAT BA-"

"YOU LITERALLY STARE AT ME WHILE I'M IN MY MOST VULNERABLE STATE!"

"STOP MAKING ME SOUND LIKE A CREEP!"

deep down quackity is in awe that counting HIS moles helps you fall asleep! He loves that even the most random things about HIM could bring you to peace.

The fact that counting HIS moles brings you to comfort, makes him feel comforted as well.

But, no one needs to know about that! he will always end up teasing you about counting his moles no matter what he feels.

HATS:

quackity obviously loves beanies, but on the other hand you prefer bucket hats! So, tons of arguments arise;

"Y/n you look like you're to jumanji! Bucket hats make you look like you're going to the jungle."

"BEANIES SHOW MY WEIRD HEAD SHAPE"

Usually you both make fun of each other's looks.

But,this time he wanted to argue against your self-discrimination because he didn't want to give you another reason to hate beanies!

"YOU DON'T HAVE A WEIRD HEAD SHAP-"

"YES I DO"

"NO YOU DONT"

*sigh*

"quackity…. my head looks like a baked bean."

after all your bickering you both FINALLY came to an agreement! you wear your bucket hats and quackity wears his beanies!!

YOUR TRUCE ENDED UP WITH YOU BOTH GETTING TONS OF HATS THAT MATCH!!

It brings you to excitement whenever someone asks about your "jelly" bucket hat!

It reminds you of the relationship you have with quackity, the relationship that led to you both getting matching hats!

No matter how many times you get asked about the hat, you could never get tired of explaining that quackity has a matching "peanut butter" beanie.

You literally could never get tired of talking or explaining about quackity.

THINKING ABOUT HIM:

This is a simple cute thing; everytime you see the color yellow or navy blue you end up getting reminded by quackity.

Another simple cute thing would be to SOMETIMES get duck themed things for him! but, EVERYTIME? And i mean EVERYTIME you go out and see something duck themed, you get it for quackity!

every time you leave you have to end up coming back home with at least 3 duck themed items

you get him the most useless stuff; a screw driver with the head of a duck, a duck themed nail polish, a duck cat toy (you guys don't even have any pets!!), and way more random things!!

At first you got him the duck themed things because it was cute, but now you start looking for the most random things ON PURPOSE so you could get a reaction out of quackity.

Each others reactions and reassurance is what makes this relationship unique.

It then came to the extreme of getting him a duck shaped lawn mower!

"y/n……….."

"my dearest y/n….i appreciate you so very much, but what is this?"

Little did you know that you weren't the only one acting in this facade, quackity knew that you did this on purpose, but this just led him to loving your relationship more!

"it's a ducky lawn mower…!"

"bUt We LiVe In An ApArTmEnT!!!"

You love doing this just to get a remembrance on why you love your relationship with quackity so much.

"y/n, how much was this…"

"LOOK HOW CUTE IT I-"

"y/n. How. Much. Was. THIS."

"758…"

"YOUR RETURNING THIS"

"CAN WE AT LEAST TAKE IT FOR A TEST DRIVE AT THE PARK?"

"fine"

At least the park got a good trimming in the end of all this!

LATE NIGHTS:

Since both you and quackity have school, your late nights are filled with you both studying side by side.

The comforting silence while studying with Quackity is one of the best feelings.

But sometimes you guys end up spicing things up and share ear buds that end up tangled!

Even the music doesn't separate the tension surrounding you both.

Usually in relationships at least one person is responsible for bedtime, but you both are equally late studiers! (Like I said, your basically a copy and paste of quackity)

Since you both didn't get any sleep in the night due to studying, you both end up sleeping in and waking up to the bright, sunny afternoon!

LAS VEGAS:

You both went to Los Vegas a joke because of quackity's Minecraft server;

"CHAT THIS WEEK IM GOING TO LOS VEGAS WITH MI AMOR! I'm going to gamble till i have enough money to buy the whole casino!"

Turns out he was wayyy off, he didn't even end up having enough money to buy the chocolate bar he promised!

"i think it's time to leave quackity...

"no NO! Y/N! I JUST WON 5 BUCKS FOR YOU MI AMORE!!!"

"quackity if you even won 3k, we'd still be at lost of money from when we started!"

Just like your fake addiction to buying random duck things for quackity, quackity had a fake gambling addiction as well!

He does this for the same reason you do your "addiction". he wants to see your reactions to his goofy, love-side that wants to give you something, but instead of a duck lawnmower it's money and a casino!

Just like how he secretly knew about yours "addiction", you secretly knew about his!! It brought you joy that you weren't the only one finding pleasure in your "relationship games"

Because of quackity's protest you guys started doing monthly trips to Los Vegas.. he was determined to buy the casino for you.

Even though he never bought the casino..

everytime you left the casino paradise, you both ended up losing more money then what you came with! but that doesn't even matter since that quackity doing this for your guy's personal amusement was more than enough for you.

HAIRCUTS:

You used to beg quackity for a haircut, but now you started to beg him for a haircut just to get his reaction! you love the way he is.

"quackity you haven't had a hair cut in a decade!"

"WHY DOES IT MATTER, NO ONE SEES MY HAIR ANYWAY!"

"I SEE YOUR HAIR"

"Oh wow! So you don't love me for who I am? I have to change myself for you? WOWWWWWWW!!!"

"N-NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYI-"

"NOPE! I now see your true colors….. y/n, or is that even your real name??......"

"Quackity what the actual f-"

"MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH LIES!!"

You love the way this relationship makes you feel. It's immaculate!! no one has ever made you feel this comforting, goofy way you except quackity.

PHOTO OF YOU:

quackity always carries a picture of you both in his wallet!

He loves being reminded of you no matter the situation!

One time he was doing a cooking stream with George and his wallet fell out of his pocket.

chat was spamming about who that was! (they couldn't see your face cause of how blurry it was for them)

"CHILL! chat chat! I'm not cheating on y/n you blind chalupas!

you'd think something got leaked but in reality your relationship is very open to the public and quackity loves talking about it.

he then happily brings the photo up to the camera with a smile on his face!

George knowing full well he's going to spend a full 20 minutes talking about you.

Whenever he's reminded of you his face lights up due to the fact of him remembering the way your existence makes him feel.

"chat this is y/n! if you're new you might know them by y/s/n (your streamer name)!

"we've been public for almost 2 years! This photo is the photo on our 3 day anniversary!"

"chat! quackity can't go one second without talking about y/n!

"shut up George, I'm not done talking!"

He loves talking about you so much, whenever someone brings you up he always has to say something!

you can visibly and audibly see the difference between him talking normally and talking about anything that resolves around you.

LATE NIGHT DRIVES:

It started with the first time you noticed quackity was feeling home sick. And since you both feel each others feelings it hurt you as well!

You decided you wanted to fix both of your feelings on going out for a night drive!!

You decided to get some taco bell since, it was the only restaurant closest to being a Mexican that was being opened. You just wanted to give him something that could remind him of home.

"Maybe it'd taste like home tacos??"

"y/n this taste nothing like my mama's tacos!"

"oh-"

"It taste like absolute shit"

"sorry! I just thought that maybe it'd remind you of your home life and you'd feel better! I didn't know you'd hate i-"

Quackity abruptly looked at you with a half of a taco hanging out of his mouth;

"NO NO NO! Talking shit about tacobell helped me feel better about being homesick!"

"I love what you DO for me. I love what you do TO me. But most importantly I love you."

These night time drives soon became a weekly occurrence!

Eating some random food while being parked in the middle of a stoplight became a habit for you both!

these night drives has been your guy's get away from the harsh reality and it has been an escape to your relationship reality..

Going on these night drives reminds both of you that you still feel the same feeling as you did before. just because life is tough doesn't mean that feeling ended. All you need is a little quiet-time TOGETHER to be reassured of your love.

HOLDING HANDS

I feel like Quackity isn't an extremely physical affection person.

but one thing for sure is that he WANTS to hold your hand, the only thing is that he's embarrassed and doesn't know how too.

it usually starts with him nudging your arm or him getting close to you..

Sometimes he even puts his hands in your hoodie pockets to get your attention.

The moment you noticed that holding hands with Quackity was not a playful thing, but more of a 'I'm so greatful for you and i love you so fucking much thing' was when Quackity was driving down a long rode on the express way.

There was no other car on the never-ending slim road, which was surrounded by grass that went on for miles.

The HD view of the sunset, with a hint of peaceful breeze coming from the cracked down window.

The silence was extremely comforting and cozy.

This situation made you feel at home

Quackity gave you his signature smirk, and you decided to take matters in your own hands.

literally.

You took quackity's unaccompanied hand in yours, causing Quackity to give your hand a little squeeze but instead of letting the squeeze go, he kept the same compression.

You both gave each other comforting smiles that lasted dangerously long. But soon later you both ended your shared smiles, still staying in a slightly tight handhold whilst looking and driving out into the sunset.

In this moment no words needed to be said to know what this hand holding gesture ment.

no cuddles or hugs could compare to the feeling you feel while holding hands with Quackity.

feelings of a mixture of comfort, cloud 9, warmth, and happiness, the feeling cant be described in a word but a description; a comforting content feeling filled with warmth, the feeling is as intense as getting burnt alive.

No word could summarize this feeling but, the closest thing to that word is home.

Being around Quackity is a full abyss of unseriousness, warmth, and energy.

The love is rarely spoken or noticed in words but every, lopsided smile, hand hold, eye contact, thought of each other, shows the same type of feeling that you crave.

The main reason you're with Quackity is for the "feeling" you feel with him.

Your love and comfort for eachother shows the most when no words are spoken, the extreme feeling shows most when you hold hands, or when lopsided smiles are shared, but most importantly being in each other's presence.

you're a copy and paste of each other, you do everything for each other, you know each other's motives, and no one is left out.

Everyone and everything in this relationship is equally involved.

you both are truly soulmates in the most literal scientific way.

THE END

other dating headcannons!!

GN!Karl Jacobs x reader

A/N

notice how the "hand holding" and "late night" hand cannons had 0 dialog in it!! yeah I was just trying to show how strongly i feel about how the love from each other would be from mostly energy and the feelings you feel.

I got kind of deep into this because I had the same type of love with someone and I desperately crave it again. I don't miss them as a person but I miss the relationship we had. i was the one who said and did stupid shit for their protest, seeing them happy and reciprocating the same energy as me made me feel like I'm liked. We weren't dating but we just had this amazing flirty, joking relationship that i need agian

#quackity headcannons #quackity #quackityfic #dsmp fanfic #fluff #dream smp x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #dsmp fluff #dsmp headcanon #quackity headcannon #mcyt hcs #dsmp hcs #mcyt headcanons #mcyt headcannons #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt fanfic #dream smp fanfiction #fanfic #dsmp headcannons #funny

[dreamonseems]

hi, lovely! i would like to request an erling imagine in which he dedicates y/n a goal and when the game finishes he explains in an interview that the goal was for her. (and if you'll like, when that's over, they celebrate the win) thank you! hope you can understand. i'm not the best at explaining :c

My One And Only

Erling Haaland X Female Reader

Summary: Not only does Erling dedicate a goal for the reader, but he also dedicates his heart.

Thank you for requesting this. I thought it was super cute 😍

The smut in this one is pretty short hopefully it's OK lol

⚠️ Warning: Smut!!!

As Y/N sat on the couch, curled up with a blanket, she couldn't help but feel down. It seemed like everything was going wrong for her this week, and her perid hormones were only making things worse. She was feeling irritable, emotional, and just plain exhausted. The fact that Erling had been busy with extra practice and games only added to her loneliness and frustration.

But as she was lost in her thoughts, she heard the sound of the door opening. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Erling walk in, still in his soccer gear, with a wide smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile back at him, even though she felt like crap.

"Hey, beautiful," he said as he walked over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "How was your day?"

She shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it. Erling could sense her mood, and he immediately knew that she needed some cheering up.

"You know what? Why dont you come to my game today? Maybe it will make you feel a little bit better to get some fresh air?" he said.

Y/N hesitated for a moment, not wanting to be a burden or distract Erling from his game. But she knew deep down that she needed to get out of the house and do something to take her mind off things.

"Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to be a distraction," she said, her voice laced with doubt.

"Of course it's okay. You're never a distraction to me. You've been taking care of me all week, even when you weren't feeling your best. Come to my game, and then we'll come home, and I'll take care of you, my sweet." Erling replied, his tone reassuring.

"Plus, I think it will be good for you to get out and watch me play. It always puts a smile on your face."

Y/N couldn't argue with that. Watching Erling play always brought her joy and reminded her of how lucky she was to have him in her life.

"Okay, I'll come," she finally agreed, a small smile forming on her face.

Erling grinned, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "Great! I can't wait for you to see me score a hat trick today."

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. "We'll see about that."

Erling chuckled and gave her another kiss on the forehead before heading to the shower to get ready for the game. Y/N sat on the couch, feeling a little bit better already. She was grateful to have Erling in her life, and she knew that even on her worst days, he would always be there to lift her up.

Y/N picked out one of Erling's jerseys from his collection and put it on for the game. She wanted to show her support for him and cheer him on from the stands. They drove up to the stadium together, listening to music and chatting along the way.

When they arrived, they were greeted by staff who escorted Y/N to her seat. It was close to the front, giving her a great view of the field and a clear sightline to where Erling would be playing.

As the game began, she started to feel a little better. The energy of the crowd, the excitement of the game, and the fresh air all worked to lift her spirits. She found herself cheering and clapping along with the other fans, getting caught up in the excitement of the moment.

Every time Erling got the ball, her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't help but feel proud of him, watching as he made his way down the field, displaying his impressive skills and athleticism. She cheered him on, shouting his name and clapping loudly whenever he made a great play.

Even though he missed a few attempts at goal, she still felt an overwhelming sense of admiration for him.

But then, something amazing happened. Out of nowhere, Foden made a brilliant pass to Erling, and he scored a beautiful goal. The crowd erupted into cheers, and Y/N was right there with them, her heart overflowing with joy.

But then, something even more incredible happened. As Erling celebrated with his teammates, he ran towards the nearest camera and held up his palm.

She was confused at first, but then she saw the message written on it: "For you, baby." He then pointed to his heart and sent her a kiss right there on live television.

Y/N completely lost it. She became a crying mess, overwhelmed with emotion and love for her fiance. The camera guy even captured the moment, showing her tear-streaked face as Erling basked in the glory of his goal.

Erling had promised to score two more goals, and he did just that. By the end of the night, he had scored a hat-trick, cementing his place as a soccer legend and making Y/N burst with pride and love.

As the final whistle blew, Erling jogged over to the sidelines where a reporter was waiting for him. Y/N watched from the stands as the reporter began firing questions at her fiancé.

"So, Erling, you scored a hat-trick tonight. Congratulations! How does it feel?"

Erling grinned, "It feels great, thank you."

The reporter continued, "But let's talk about the beginning of the game. You missed a few opportunities. What happened there?"

Erling chuckled, "Yeah, I missed a few chances. But I made up for it, didn't I?"

Before leaving, the reporter asked one last question, "We noticed that you dedicated one of your goals to someone. Would you like to share who that person is?"

Erling's smile softened as he thought about Y/N. "Ah yes, that goal was for my fiancé Y/N. She's one of the greatest support systems I have in life. I've found the one person who I love most in the world, and she deserves everything in life."

The reporter was taken aback by Erling's openness. He was known for being a private person when it came to his personal life. "Wow, congratulations on your engagement. It's great to see you've found someone to love."

Erling nodded, "Thank you, I'm a lucky man. I just want to take care of her and make sure she never has to worry about anything. That goal was my way of telling her that I'll work hard to create a life for her where she doesn't have to."

The reporter smiled, "Well, it looks like you're off to a good start. Congrats on the win and the hat trick tonight."

"Thank you," Erling replied before heading back to the locker room with a newfound sense of gratitude for the love and support he had in his life.

Y/N eyes widened with surprise and delight as she heard her name being mentioned. She had no idea Erling was going to do that. Her heart was full of love and admiration for her fiancé. She couldn't wait to celebrate with him and show him how much she appreciated his dedication to their relationship.

As Erling was making his way to the changing room, he spotted Y/N running towards him, her hair bouncing. Without warning, she jumped into his arms, and he caught her, lifting her up effortlessly.

She buried her face in his neck, showering him with kisses and declarations of love. He couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm, holding her tight as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Looking into his eyes, her expression turned serious. "Make love to me, please. I just want to feel all of your love," she said, her voice came as a whisper.

Erling was surprised and excited to hear those words coming from her mouth. "Right now?" he asked, making sure that they were both in the same page.

"Yes," she replied, her eyes shining with desire.

Erling grabbed her hand and pulled her towards an empty room, closing the door behind them and locking it. Without wasting any time, he pulled her close and kissed her deeply, his hands roaming over her body.

She moaned as he explored every inch of her, her body responding eagerly to his touch. "You made me so wet declaring your love for me to the world," she whispered in his ear, making his heart skip a beat.

Erling gently pushed her against the wall pulling down her pants, slipping his finger inside her pussy to open her up for him. When he felt she was ready, he pulled down his shorts and picked her up again, wrapping her legs around his waist as he slipped his cock inside her pussy.

She moaned loudly as he fucked her hard against the wall, lost in the pleasure of their connection.

Despite the sounds they were making, Erling didn't care if anyone could hear them. All he could focus on was Y/N and the way she felt wrapped around him, her body trembling with pleasure. He whispered words of love and adoration in her ear as he moved slowly and deeply, wanting to savor every moment of their intimacy.

Finally, after what felt like hours, they both reached the peak of their pleasure, moaning each other's names as they came together. They collapsed into each other's arms, feeling a sense of peace and contentment wash over them. "I love you so much," Erling whispered, holding her close.

"I love you too," she replied, her voice soft and full of emotion. They stayed like that for a while, just basking in the afterglow of their love-making, before eventually getting dressed and heading back out to face the world together.

#fanfiction #fanfic #erling haaland x you #erling haaland x y/n #erling haaland x reader #erling håland #erling haaland #erling #haaland x reader #haaland #erling haaland smut #erling haaland imagine #haaland imagine #manchester city #man city #manchester city imagine #man city imagine #footballer #football #soccer #love fanfic #love #fluff #erling haaland fluff #short story #story #short smut #smut

[juvenillia]

~ Death of Peace of Mind ~ 02: too close

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!reader

photo credits go to very talented @ave661

a/n: this is the first time for me writing something like this, so bare with me if the actions scenes are a bit sloppy, I'll get the hang of it, idc about the actual height of reader, but we're at least the smallest in the group, also little extra note: I'll go on vacation upcoming Saturday and won't be able to write for two weeks, I try really hard atm to prepare as much chapters as possible for the time ahead

CW/TW: mentions of canon violence, smoking, closing off due mental illness

wordcount: 3.2k

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The first beams of sunlight broke through the window just above the bed. Your eyes trailing over the rays of light that were dancing on the ceiling. You lay awake for what felt like eternity. The night was somehow restless, again. By now you committed to a few hours of sleep. As few as possible but as much as necessary. Keeping the risk low to trigger your nightmares. Keeping the chance low to have to look into his eyes again. A lump was forming in your throat while you let your thoughts roam back and forth.  Maybe you should learn about a thing called power-napping, you read it in a magazine some time ago while sitting in a coffee shop. It really could save you one day.

With that thought you pushed yourself out of bed. Putting on a casual sports fit. Now that the sun was finally up, there was no need any more to stay in bed. You put a cap on, pulled your hair through the back. Laced your boots up and went out for some casual morning rounds around the base. Price already told you their usual morning routine and it was kind of funny, how all military bases had a quite similar routine. You sneak through the hallway to go outside. Trying to keep as quit as possible to wake no one. It was still early, even for the military. As soon as your feet touched the gritted ground you started running. Keeping a good pace while rounding the base. At some point you nodded your greetings to a few other people already awake and going after whatever, they pleased. You decided to pick up your pace. You didn’t want to waste all your energy, but still wanted to push yourself a bit further. You had quite some busy day ahead, so you needed to get yourself going.

You took a few more corners until you heard a voice. “Skadi.”, turning around you were greeted with a blissful smile. You stopped in your track, jogging slowly at the spot. “Madainn mhath!”, [Good morning] Soap breathed out after catching up to you. “Good morning.”, you replied with a quiet snicker. Your reaction earns you an even brighter smile from the Scot. “Yer understood?”, his eyes were nearly beaming. It was somehow adorable, and you knew, that the two of you would get along at ease. Maybe too good for your liking. “Seems like it.”, you shrugged off while keeping your legs busy. “Dae ya mind if I join ya?”, a nod with a slight smile was your only response. So, both of you started jogging around the base. Not talking much, at least for your part. You were rather listening to everything Soap gladly explained you. The way the team works together, each specialty, some pet peeves, their little rituals. Some fun anecdotes from after mission celebrations. He really was chatty, and you gladly listened in. He was so sincere and pure, plus all his words gave you a good overview about everyone. They also gave you a warm feeling around your chest. Even if you tried to avoid this kind of reaction, he was just too genuine.

Still, you barely told him about yourself. It didn’t sit right with you. He learned that you were quite an allrounder when it comes to the job and that you were obviously an early bird. He didn’t know that you were also a night owl. The sweet nemesis called sleep. A fight you’ll win one day, hopefully not on your last day. He also learned that Price and you met about three years ago. Not really how, but that it was for a coincidence that comes with the job. Also, he learned that you were quite capable of speaking a few languages and understanding even more. He quite often threw some Scottish at you and for once in his life (while being outside of his home of course) he didn’t get scolded for it. It was clear to see that he enjoyed your company, and you would’ve lied to say you didn’t enjoy his. It felt just smooth.

After some time, you came to a halt. Catching your breath, you couldn’t remember the last time you were talking so much while running. Stretching your body while bending down to grab the front of your boots. Halting the position on suspense. Suddenly you saw a bottle in front of you, Soap held it out for you to grab. “Thanks.”, you gladly took it and nearly downed half of it.  He only nodded, still a happy smile around his lips. How can a person be smiling non-stop. “Dinnea know about ya, but ‘m starving.”, he exhaled with a chuckle, drinking his own water. “Wanna head to the canteen?”, he looked at you with those clear blue eyes. As you gained your posture again you let out a slight sigh. “Sorry Soap. Still have to unpack and other stuff to do.”, you didn’t look at him. Sure, it was a half-assed excuse, but you didn’t want to get his expectations too high and if you were honest, you didn’t want to get too close. You already felt so comfortable in his company. Too comfortable. You needed to keep your guard up. He was a stranger after all. Maybe he wasn't even such a nice guy, maybe he only treated you so wholesome because of your gender and therefore some different assets. Maybe he had strictly different intentions in his behavior. You couldn't tell, and you shouldn't care.

But maybe that’s why you never called the cute barista guy from around the corner, back at your place. Because he was too genuine, too innocent. You gave it a lot of thoughts to be honest. He was a nice dude, he memorized all your preferred drinks depending on the weather and had them always ready when you came back from your morning run. You loved routine and you kinda enjoyed that he became a part of it, but sooner or later it would break apart anyways. He was just too good for you. He wouldn't be able to keep up with you. It surely wouldn't be something more than a lousy one night stand, what wasn't your thing at all. You were too complicated, too distant and you couldn't let yourself believe that someone could even show a glimpse of honest interest. Well, that's at least what you told yourself all the time to justify pushing everyone away. Same for Marc, or was his name Maik? Your neighbor next door, he even invited you for his wedding. Did you go? Of course not. You only send a card, not even able to look him in the eye to congratulate him.

This way you did what you could do best, you started closing off to the man in front of you. For the rounds it was different. Here it was only the two of you, two comrades having a morning run and just some little introduction, but heading for breakfast together, that was already a commitment. A commitment you were not capable of taking. You’d rather pick a quick snack before looking for Price. See what he has planned out for you today, and God, you hoped it was just getting to know everyone around the base. Spoiler alert, he had different plans.

To your surprise Soap did understand, still wearing a slightly disappointed glance, but he didn't push it and so, you parted your ways.

Going after your day wasn’t so hard. Price introduced you around, you finally got your keycard, you had to fill out a few formulars. Stuff was going along easily and most of the times you were on your own. Until you heard Price’s voice again. He told you, that they could need your help with today’s rookie lesson, and you gladly accepted the duty. Gladly, until you were greeted by Soap and Ghost. Latter didn’t really greet you, but at least he was polite enough to nod towards you. The men were already standing and watching a bunch of recruits still chatting away. You walked over to them with Price at your side. Standing next to Soap and watching the crowd not paying much attention to your arrival. Ghost only needed to step forward to gain the attention of every youngling around. He held an intimidating appearance.

 “Listen up.” He yelled out and you totally felt the thick air. He was already a behemoth of a man, but his voice plus the mask really made a silhouette that was frightening. It reminded you of something you’d rather forget. Yourself straighten up as he begun, but before he kept going, Soap stepped forward. Seemed like Ghost was only here to keep them in line and Soap was the official speaker. Maybe it was better for the recruits this way. Soap quickly explained that they were doing sparring sessions today. Especially learning how to read the intentions of your enemy and to be able to be a step ahead before their actual move. You remember how your first sessions were and how you were barely able to keep up with your opposite. How time flies, you thought to yourself and kept your attention on Soaps words. He had quite a way to motivate the younglings in front of him.

Your glance traveling over the faces and catching quite some few females as well. It always brought you a pleasant feeling in your stomach to see, that more and more women would join the army. Especially because you were always underestimated. Your path from the beginning till here was an odyssey. Not talking about the bone crushing weight on your shoulders by now, but to start through in the military as a woman was nearly impossible some time ago. Way too many prejudices.

 The recruits were told to find each other a partner for today's session. Soap and Ghost would give them a quick demonstration of what they were up to. So, Price and you would be teamed up in that case. That wasn’t to be going to be so bad, you heard your words echoing through your mind.

That was until you heard the raspy voice of the Lieutenant again. "Don't mix up genders. Shall stay fair.", he exclaimed dry and that way he earned a scoffed chuckle. He turned around and faced you with a death glare. Soap immediately turning around looking at the scenario with shock in his eyes. "Have a problem with that Seargent?", his voice went even deeper when he turned his whole body towards you. Soap made a gesture with his hand shaking before his throat, symbolizing you to stop what you were doing. Unlucky for everyone around - except your Captain - you were way too stubborn to retreat now. "Just a suggestion but let them pick their opponents themselves regardless the gender. Nobody cares on the battlefields either.", you stated calm, your glance not adverting. Price watched the whole scenery a bit too curious. He knew the two of your for quite some time and he already expected that the tension between you would become thrilling.

Ghost stepped closer to you. You couldn't read him, but you could definitely see that you pissed him off. His eyes burning into yours. "We should keep it easy by now.", he was only a few inches away from you. You stared back, looking in that chocolate iris. You could've just backed down, but it was too challenging. "So, you believe women are not worthy a challenge?", your eyes never retreating his state. He was so damn pissed. He stepped even closer to you, you could feel his hot breath even through the mask, brushing a long your skin and sending shivers done your spine.

Soap wanted to step in, but Price let just a hand rest on his shoulder, signaling him to stay out of this. "I'm only saying that they have to learn something without getting real injuries before even placing a foot on the battle ground." He hissed through gritted teeth. He didn't even know why he argued with you, but he couldn't stand it. He knew that one shouldn't miscalculate about the opposite gender. But the way you interrupted him, the way you looked at with him with such a stubborn glance.

It made him furious. But the way you didn't even reacted the slightest to his presence. Well, you did, but you were to pride to show it. "Then you underestimate them." - "They have to learn before proofing themselves." - "You only learn when you can try and error." - "Error doesn't mean getting real hurt." - "Okay, so you're sure about them getting hurt." It went on like this for some time. Back and forth, staying always in polite line, but the tension grew with each word.

Soap looked the most nervous of all watching the two of you battling with your words. Price still holding him back. Of course, a situation with only the team would have been better to test the waters out but he would take what he could. "You're stepping a line, Seargent." He literally growled at you. "Then you're also underestimate me, Lieutenant.", you hissed back at him. Right here, right now you noticed how close he was standing in front of you. Your breath brushing along his mask, and his hot steaming breaths dancing over your bare skin. He was way too close for your liking.

Standing across of each other and staring holes into the other person. You only realized now how huge he was, trying to literally stare you down into the ground. A ground you would gladly like to stand.

"Why don't you pair up and we will see who's right.", a mocking voice of the recruits let both of your heads snap out of the haze you were in. You leaned a bit back. You didn't even notice how you tried to make yourself taller in front of him. "That's...", just as Ghost wanted to scold the rookie, Price stepped in, "a wonderful idea. This way we can exactly demonstrate a perfect example." He stepped forward looking at both of you. A slight chuckle escaped your lips, still looking with vitally at Ghost. His chest was waving heavy. He tried to steady himself and his temper. "Why not.", you turned around to move to the mat that was originally reserved for Soap and Ghost. The latter following you. "Don't hurt yourself.", he teased and with that he only awakened an insatiable competing desire.

Soap wore a face of a mixture between curiosity and concern. He had pushed Simon a few times before, but this was somehow different. You had no suspicious about each other’s limits and you gladly pushed everything over the edge right now. "Don't hold yourself back, big boy." Even with the mask you know his face would be burning.

You already fought bigger guys than him, just keep your cools and be observant. Just pinning him down once would be enough to proof your point. Your mind literally switched and cutting all of the unnecessary surrounding out. He was nothing different to any of them, but oh lord, you were so wrong with that statement. You could see a switch in his eyes, something you knew too well yourself.

In a heated movement he already reached out to you, trying to get hold of you. For a guy with his build, he was especially fast. Something you didn't suspected. Before you could think of your first turn, his giant hands were already onto your shoulders pressing you down. Lucky for you, you were particularly flexible and even more agile. You find a way to bend yourself out, but Ghost was soon on it. Throwing one of his legs in your direction to block your way out. You reached with your free hand to use his thigh as support to push yourself further up. His hands gripped for your wrist to pull you down once more, but he missed, so you saw your chance. Throwing your legs up and literally over his throat. Forcing him down. His legs were weaker in the position he found himself in, so he slowly bends over. He reached for your waist to throw you over his shoulder, but you were quick to use your hands to get a grip of his statue. Pulling yourself further up, that you would literally split his arms away with your thighs. Your completely weight pushing him down, until his knees gave in, and he found himself with his back on the mat. Your upper half resting inches away from his throat, where you had placed one of your arms to give it a bit more strength. Hovering slowly over him. A self-content smile on your lips, you looked him in his eyes. He just stared back; his eyes quite blank. You could feel his heavy breaths onto you, his chest rising and lowering just like your own. Now you were the one staring him down.

Soap was completely paralyzed by the scene in front of him, and Price only chuckled watching his charges. He knew from the beginning that the two of you needed a lot of patience with each other, especially when pushing each other so far, but he also believed that you would fit in just perfectly. You could learn so much from everyone around so that the 141 could even grow better and closer. Ghost for his part was really glad he had his mask. His face burnt from the heat of his own skin. Ashamed, anger, annoyance. He couldn't tell it apart. So many thoughts flooded his brain while staring into your eyes. "You know how to retread, don't ya Lieutenant?", your voice pulling him out of his mind. He let out a completely pissed groan, before lifting his hand and tapping two times at your thigh. You gladly stood up from your place.

You knew he did spare you; he didn't used his full strength on you but this way he really did underestimate you. A mistake he would never commit twice. You reached out a hand to help him up, but he only ignored it and stood up with no problem. You shrugged it off. "Don't be such a sore loser.", Soap cried out behind your back, but Simon did ignore him. He rather shouted at the recruits to keep starting. You turned around and Price gave you a paternal thumbs up, which only made you shake your head. You didn't give too much attention to Soap though. Still letting the incident of the morning washing over your mind. Ghost also looked out for getting away as fast and as far as possible from the Scot. He knew Johnny would be nonstop teasing him about the situation, and Simon couldn't even blame him, therefore. His cheeks were still streaming hot.

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