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sstormyskyess · 6 months

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Self-Doubts

author's note: wanted to explore some of the insecurities these fellas would have to get a better feel for how to write them!

cw: hurt/comfort, body image issues, domestic situations, anxiety

word count: 1900+

TF-141 x GN!Reader

Simon “Ghost” Riley [body image]

♡ Ghost is aware that he’s an attractive man. He’s been told as much for most of his life and people tend to put themselves out there for him, so he’s always figured there must be something to him that causes it.

♡ But only he had seen the body under all the layers of black clothing he often covers himself with. His body is more scars than unblemished skin, an eternal reminder that he was beyond saving.

♡ That’s why, when you wormed your way into his lacerated heart, he was hesitant to undress around you. He didn’t want you to see the man underneath the shell of the impenetrable “Ghost,” the man that kept his trauma on a tight leash and hid away from his true self.

Simon shuffles forward further down the bathtub to let you settle in behind him, your thighs resting on his hips. His heart is pounding in his chest, as it often did when he was bare in front of you. Despite the warmth of the bath you’d run for the both of you, a shiver travels up his spine when your hands wrap around his chest.

“You still okay, Si?” You rest your cheek on his back, keeping your hands still over his stomach. All he gives you is a hum, so you prompt again, “I need words, hun.” He responds with a shallow nod and, with a slight shake in his voice, “I’m alright, love.” You nuzzle your cheek against his spine in response, a silent reminder that he’s here, with you.

Things were still for a while, the only sound being the leaky faucet you still needed to get fixed dripping into the bath. You quietly paw at his stomach and move slowly up his chest, tracing over his scars as you did. You halt before you start to kiss the scars on his shoulder blades, the ones that you’ve committed to memory.

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when you take hold of one of his hands, pulling it up far enough that you could see it over his shoulder. There was one big scar across his palm that he received in the times before he started wearing gloves to cover his calloused hands. You always came back to it; it was one of the most clear signifiers of his journey through his career, and you loved to appreciate anything and everything that showed you his path before meeting you.

He watches you regard the scar, able to see the face you always make when you admire his body like this. He smiled at the thought and some of the tension in his muscles left. He took your other hand and brought it up to his lips to place a kiss on your knuckles, returning the affection you so graciously gave him.

John “Soap” Mactavish [his future]

♡ Soap has been in his field of work for around eight years and he’s made his way through hell time and time again. He’s a skilled operator and with that comes many dangerous situations, often life or death.

♡ But really, he wants to make it far enough in life to retire and return to civilian society, far away from the turmoil that tainted him day and night, 24/7. The worst part is that he knows it’s unlikely he’ll make it that far.

♡ It got worse when he met you and you solidified in his mind that his true goal was making it to a calm life, free of gunfire, constant deployment, and all of the other struggles that came with a job like his.

“Aye. Love you too, mum.” Johnny hangs up the call and puts his phone on the coffee table with a sigh. His mom was calling to let him know that his sister was going to be having a baby shower in a month or so; his niece’s birth was just around the corner, expectedly two months from now.

Hearing about the lives of his family members makes him feel so selfish sometimes. He knows it’s silly and that he shouldn’t be worrying so much about it, but he just can’t seem to help it. Even when he knows you’re just a room away, making some dinner for the both of you, he can’t help but think about what life could be like were he living the life the rest of his family was. He gets up and looks over to the kitchen before making his way over.

You jump when you feel Johnny’s arms wrap around your waist. He buries his head against your neck and presses some soft kisses there. “Hi, baby. What do you need?” You smile and reach back to run your fingers through his messy overgrown mohawk, earning you a pleased hum. He rests his chin on your shoulder to watch you cooking, a warmth in his heart swelling at the domesticity. “Do you think we’d ever get married, dove?” He asks, rocking you two back and forth gently.

You blink, surprised by the sudden question. “I wouldn’t be opposed. You’re the best guy I could ever hope to be with the rest of my life.” Your smile widens as your mind wanders to the life you and Johnny could live together. Johnny’s soft, dreamy sigh brushes along your neck and it feels like his posture slumps forward just a bit in relief, your words soothing his stormy thoughts. “I��ll keep that in mind, bonnie.”

Standing there in the comfortable silence with you only solidified in his mind that he wanted to be there with you for the rest of his life. All he wanted to do in that moment and every moment after was take care of you, to make you feel safe.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick [perfectionism]

♡ Gaz knows how important the role he plays is. His work furthered the safety of civilians the world round, and he knows he’s good at it.

♡ But along with knowing the importance of his work was a double-edged sword; he knew that if he ever faltered or failed his mission, people would die as a result. The screams of civilians echoed in his mind every few nights he tried settling in for bed, his mind much too overactive for his own good.

♡ Overworking himself was a consequence of his troubled thoughts. He would be lifting in the gym until his muscles gave out on him, firing in the range for hours into the night, running laps around the base, all to your dismay as you watched him work himself half to death.

Kyle’s lungs heave as he bends over with his hands on his knees. You had followed him when he got out of bed earlier tonight and he apologized profusely for waking you up. He’s been on the treadmill for an hour, going on an hour and a half. You stare at him, concerned out of your mind. You’d long since stopped your own workout, the weights left on the rack and a bottle of water in hand.

This was the third time in the past week he’d subjected himself to this self-flagellating exercise schedule. You knew why; this past mission was quite the disaster. Too much destruction, too many civilian casualties, and an escaped terrorist was a perfect combination to make Kyle’s mind run wild with disappointment in himself. He was an empathetic individual and it always came back to bite him after missions like this.

You aren’t sure whether or not he noticed you in here with him, so when you got up to approach him you walked with purposeful steps, loud enough to alert him to your presence. His head perked up and he turned to look at you. He cursed under his breath after wiping his forehead with the towel slung over his shoulder and stepped off the treadmill.

“Sweetheart, I said you could go back to bed.” He frowned when he met your eyes, seeing the exhaustion in them but not realizing that you saw the same exhaustion in his. “Someone needed to drag you back once you eventually collapsed.” You mutter, looking away. You didn’t want to be frustrated with him; you knew that he couldn’t help it. But seeing him with his legs nearly buckling under his own weight hurt your heart. “I’m okay, I promise—”

He’s cut off by your sigh and you take him by the hand to drag him over to the nearest bench, sitting him down. “You’re not okay. I’m getting your stuff and we’re going back to bed.” You state matter-of-factly before walking off to do just that. He knew that you were miffed, but it still felt good to know you had his back.

John Price [his relationships]

♡ Price is a busy man; he’s the captain of a private task force, of course he was. His work basically consumed his entire life, with no room for much else.

♡ Friends and romantic partners were pie in the sky for him, and he sometimes wondered if he would be able to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone outside of work. He had tried before and every time, it ended with things falling apart and him leaving someone broken hearted.

♡ His worries were quelled when you made friends with him and eventually entered a romantic relationship, but still, he was concerned with balancing his relationship with you and his relationship with his work. Sometimes, he wondered if he was even strong enough to pull both sides of himself together into one man.

John picks up the dinner plate that you made for him a few hours ago. It had gotten cold by now, the plastic cling wrap around the plate having settled over the food and sticking loosely to it. He sighs and peels it off, turning to the microwave to reheat the plate. He leans back against the counter and stares at the floor, his thoughts crowding every corner of his mind.

You were already in bed, sleeping soundly. At least he hoped. You had asked him a couple times to come to bed, but he insisted he needed to finish the mission reports he was writing. Every time he pulled this little maneuver, he thought back to every other time he condemned you to going to bed cold. The frown on his face deepens, imagining how you looked right now. Maybe you actually weren’t asleep and were still up waiting for him. The thought made him feel so guilty.

He doesn’t have to dwell on it much longer before he sees you sleepily wander into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing your eyes. John pushes himself off the counter and meets you halfway, resting his hands on your hips. “Head back to bed, doll. I’ll be there soon.” He mumbles the words into the top of your head before putting a kiss there. You shake your head and nuzzle deeper into his hold.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” He runs one of his hands up and down your spine, the other moving to the small of your back. You hold onto his shirt and take a peek up at him. “It’s okay.” You give him a small smile, trying to soothe his worries. He does so much and you know it was all for you, a fact that warms your heart.

“Come sit and eat your food, hon’.” He huffs a little laugh and nods, taking his plate out of the microwave and picking you up. You giggle and kiss his cheek, letting him carry you to the couch. You let him turn on the TV and settle you in his lap. “Were you dreaming, love?” He asks before starting to eat. Neither of you pay much attention to whatever’s on the screen after that, him listening intently to you recounting your dreams.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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frxxxncx · 8 months

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need to know - k. soonyoung

»boyfriend!¡kwon soonyoung x fem!¡reader.

»Summary: you just wanted to dance all night long, but the night had other plans for you.

»Tags: smut (MDNI), pet names, establish relationship, chocking, exhibitionistm, dirty talk (I suck at this, I’m not joking), degradation…?, sex in public, bulge kink kind of, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, it’s a little nasty at the end ngl, kinda mean dom!soonyoung, sub!reader.

»Words: 1.7k

note: This concept of Kwon Soonyoung makes me scream in my pillow every night. Need to know was my most played song in 2021.

note 2: Any typo or incoherence that you might find was completely intentional, it’s for the sake of learning about my mistakes.

Your pink mini-skirt danced gracefully with you, stroking your plump thighs softly, fabric barely covering your ass, chest moving slowly, contrasting with the voluptuous motions of your hips.

You felt aroused, only looking for your boyfriend's gaze from the bar counter, you were the one who proposed to go out to dance, but Soonyoung, even though he liked to dance was not in the mood to do it that day, but you were willing to make his cock raise proud, as if you had telekinesis.

You felt someone behind you, but you were certain that it wasn’t your boyfriend, you were going to get away from him but an evil thought crossed your filthy mind, you decided to use the disrespectful guy whom was gripping grossly tight your waist with his flagrant sticky and sweaty hands, you wanted to provoke your boyfriend, but his reaction was taking long that you expected and you were starting to get utterly disgusted by the stranger.

Still it was thrilling, you knew what was coming after this stunt you just made. The movements of your hips were exaggerated, while your hands were placed over the other guy. Gross.

It was extremely uncomfortable to feel the unfamiliar hands travel your body with that intimacy, but at the same time you shiver at the feel of Soonyoung's strong gaze over you. So he finally saw you.

The foreign hands disappeared, being replace for your boyfriend’s hot and heavy touch, you could hear clearly how Soonyoung shouted with rage “Fuck off”. A chill ran down your back, you knew perfectly what was coming and you were so fucking prepared for the consequences of your actions.

His hands were squeezing your waist so tightly, and you were sure the silhouette of his fingers was going to be engraved in your skin in a purplish color by tomorrow. His warm breath felt delicious over the back of your neck, body’s so close you could feel all of him pressed against you. Soonyoung tongue caressed your ear feeling the cold metal of your piercings.

“Did you like provoking me while grinding against that bastard like a fucking slut in heat?” He whispered, one of his hands getting to the hem of your pinky skirt, thighs clenching together at the familiar feeling striking your cunt, his digits travelled over your soft skin, and under your skirt, fingers stroking the fabric of your lingerie.

The darkness of the place played in your favour, no one seemed like they were able to see a thing, or maybe they were just enjoying the show, perhaps they were doing the same with their partners.

The rough palms of Soonyoung caressed your cunt over the silky fabric of your underwear, making you stutter in his arms, his left hand rested on your neck choking you slightly, enough to make you moan at the pressure, you could feel your slick starting soak the thin fabric of you lingerie, you were dripping like a faucet and you needed a plumber to help you fix the problem, most definitely.

His cold fingers sneaked inside your underwear, digits now dripping wet in your arousal, you shivered thrilled with his fingers now rubbing circles in your swollen and needy clit, your hips wouldn’t stop moving anxious due to the strokes that started to become faster and faster, putting more pressure in the delicate bud of nerves, his middle fingers travelled to your core, making his ways inside of you, your hands gripped his wrist tightly, retaining a guttural moan that was building up in your throat.

His ring finger joined inside, now both digits were playing in your warm embrace, rubbing into all the good spots inside of you, while his palm was fondling your clit, his fingers scissoring you, stretching your velvety walls. Your moans slipped from your mouth uncontrollably, and you were so glad that the music was so loud, otherwise everyone would notice how your boyfriend was finger fucking the life out of you.

“You pussy so cute and so wet for me, I can feel your cunt so deliciously tight around my fingers” he whispered in your ear, curling his fingers and tightening the grip in your neck “Come on, baby, beg me for it and I will give it to you” the kiss below your ear makes you gasp, breathing was starting to become difficult “Beg for me, just like the cockslut you are” a high pitch moan escape from you when his fingers stretched more inside of you, the burning feeling only making you wish for more.

“Please, please, I need you” you whine desperately, head pressed against his chest, arching your back and moving your hips, feeling the hard on in the base of your back.

“It turns you on, huh?” His hoarse voice behind you contrasted with he sensual music that was playing now, hand that was fingering you, now unzipping his pants hurriedly“I’m going to fuck you infront of all these people and you are soaking wet for it”

He lifted your skirt and moved your underwear to the side, you felt the fabric tear in your skin, and sighed at it, his cock was caressing your sticky folds, spreading all your juices on his shaft, sliding easily on your lips.

“God, you’re so ready for me” he purred, and without thinking twice he thrusted inside of you groaning satisfied after bottoming you out, a loud and guttural moan break from you, due to the force and the toughness of the thrust it kind of burned, but it burned so good that the coil that been building in your belly increased enormously.

“Ooh, baby, you’re so perfect, so good for me” Soonyoung’s dancer hips pistoned with an animalistic pace, biting your lips was starting to become a poor attempt to muffle some of your whimpers, even the wet and lewd sound was beginning to echo over the music in your ears.

Your velvety walls were clenching around Soonyoung’s dick, making him groan satisfied, the sound of his voice caressing your ears like honey, almost triggering your desired orgasm.

The pleasure filled your insides and your clit wouldn’t stop pulsating under Soonyoung insisting rubs, left hand gripping firmly your neck taking your breath away, the coil in you belly was so close to bursting, your hips trembling and colliding with his that wouldn’t stop pistoning into you, every thrust tougher than the other.

At some point, both of his hands rested on your belly, pressing not tight but just enough to make you see stars over your head like a pretty halo, his dick jammed inside of you and the pressure of his hands made you feel like your guts were being rearranged, everything was hot and narrow, your lips were bright red and glossy, you thought that tomorrow they would hurt so bad.

Soonyoung kept hammering into you, one hand pressing your stomach and the other taking your breath away once again, while his hips drilled into you fast and messy, your so desired orgasms stroke through you, body jerking forward as you howled in pleasure, while he kept grunting on the damp skin of your nape, and finally he let go of you neck. He plumped himself dry into you, painting your insides white.

And perhaps it was because you were on a public place or maybe it was the fact that your boyfriend just was exceptionally good at fucking you, but if he wasn’t holding you tight, you would be in the floor due to the overstimulation.

“Fuck, I think we need to go home” he said getting out of you slowly, hearing you whine in the process, now he was fixing his pants and holding tight onto you.

The words could get out of your mouth properly, you only remained clinging onto Soonyoung’s arm while his still warm cum travelled in the soft skin between your thighs, your cunt was sore, even then you could feel his dick inside of you, making you shudder, your legs were all wobbly and the sticky load was peeking from the edge of your skirt. Soonyoung felt bad about it and wiped it as much as he could with his hand, and then he fixed your underwear so his cum wouldn’t go anywhere.

You tried to walk while grabbing your boyfriend’s shirt tightly, but your legs just gave up and a mini scream came out when you felt like falling on your face.

“Sonnie, I can’t, my legs” you said, stuttering looking at your boyfriend with shining eyes because of the tears, still moaning quietly trying to stand still.

He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and a smirk, satisfied of having fucked you so well you couldn’t even walk, but still he felt a little -just a little- bad for you, maybe he was to rough, you liked it though.

Chuckling Soonyoung gave you one last look full of joy and breathed out surrendering.

“Come on, pretty, I’ll carry you” he said before lifting you into bridal style, making you feel as light as a feather. “When we get home, I’ll make us a warm bath and I’ll clean you up very well, it’s okay, honey?” He asked in a childish tone, making you laugh and nod at the same time.

Once you were outside the club, Soonyoung made sure to put you in the passenger seat carefully but still a gasp came out of you, he zipped your belt and closed your door, and then he went to his seat.

During the drive home, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit tense because of the sticky mess in between your legs, but still the light burn in your core felt quite pleasant making your cunt pulsate.

When you finally where in front of your house, you sighted “Next time instead of fucking in the middle of the dance floor, better drag me to the car and fuck my brains out here” the embarrassment was starting to kick in, the liquid confidence losing its effects.

Soonyoung looked at you with a crooked smile "why next time when I can do it right now?"

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ghouljams · 6 months

Note

Listen to the whispers ghoul

Ghost is a pillow princess

Let Goose top him more

The demons are winning. I'm writing Fae!Ghost getting topped too. The worms are eating my brain and you're encouraging it!! Ghost being a pillow princess.... it wouldn't fix me actually this is making me worse lol

You grind your hips down against him, working them back and forth dragging your dripping cunt along his cock. You hold yourself up with two hands on his chest, squeezing the soft muscle. Simon has an arm slung over his eyes, his lips parted to take heavy breaths. The movement of his chest hardly moves you, except to lean against him more heavily when he exhales, forcing the air from his lungs in the hopes of hearing him moan.

"Such a good boy for me," You whisper to him, he lets out a shaky breath. You know how sensitive he is to praise. "And so pretty Simon, you're so fucking pretty." His cock twitches under you, your clit bumps against the drooling tip and you let out a soft noise. His hand on your hip squeezes gently. He's so warm under you, sturdy and leaking precum like a faucet. It makes you smile each time his hips twitch. He's being so good for you.

You lean forward, enjoying the slick friction grinding between your legs. His thick cock spreads your folds, letting you drag your clit against the veins. It's a deep and pleasant spark of pleasure each time your bump the head of his cock, the tip red and desperate. There's nothing Simon can do but take what you give him, no way for him to fuck you how he normally would.

Making him lay there and take the pleasure you give him is almost better. He doesn't squirm, doesn't whine, but he can't look at you, can't stomach the soft praise you lay over him. "You're a good man Simon, a kind man," You tell him, watching him press his lips together, his cheek dimpling where he bites the inside of it, "and you fuck me so good, you deserve to feel good too."

"Feels good," He shudders out, and you grin, leaning down to kiss his chest.

"Yeah?" You coo, he hums. You do your best to keep your hips from jumping, the tight heat in your stomach making everything between your legs feel electric. His groan jolts through you, and you move your hips a little faster. "Can you cum for me baby?" You ask him, scraping your teeth against his skin, "You wanna be good for me don't you? Wanna keep being my perfect, wonderful, Simon, don't you?" He shudders, back arching a little as he tries to press his hips up against yours.

Simon groans low in his chest, the rumble of it under your hands making you bite one of his pecs. You feel his cock twitch and pulse against your cunt, his cum spurting up between your folds and against his stomach. It's hot and wet, and you shudder. Each pulse of his cock makes your hips jerk, your clit sensitive as you let out soft panting moans. Your legs shake with more than just the effort of movement, your orgasm dripping out of you with each electric rub against your clit.

"Thank you," Simon breathes as you roll your tongue over your recent bite.

"Not done with you yet," You tell him. He squeezes your hip tight, turns his head to press further into the crook of his arm, his voice muffled.

"I'll be good, Miss, please."

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frenchkisstheabyss · 8 months

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☾ Wild Horses ☽

☾ Pairing: boyfriend!bang chan x reader

☾ Genre: angst & fluff all stirred up in a pot

☾ Summary: Your boyfriend comforts you when your depression sneaks up on you during a night out with friends.

☾ Word Count: 924

☾ Warnings: themes of depression/mental illness and the feelings that can come along with them

☾ A/N: I wrote this because having depression has led to a lot of loneliness for me lately and I needed some comfort. I hope that by sharing this someone else having similar thoughts/feelings to mine might find a little comfort too 🖤

☾ "No sweeping exits or offstage lines could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind and wild horses couldn't drag me away" - The Sundays, Wild Horses

People can’t imagine what you go through. It’s not a case of bad nerves or run-of-the-mill sadness. Too often you’ve found yourself sitting alone wishing that you could find the words to make them understand that depression is so much more than that. Depression is a parasite that’s wormed its way into your brain wholly consuming you.

The consumption’s gradual sometimes, ravenous at others, but exhausting all the same, stealing little bits of you that you aren’t quite sure how to get back. Everyone says, “I hope you feel better. Hang in there. Keep your chin up” but it’s not simple. And maybe they mean well, maybe that’s all they can say because they don’t know how to fix it, but it only makes you feel lonelier.

The thing is, you’ve never wanted anyone to fix it. You don’t need bandaids to cover the bullet holes in your heart. You just want someone to hold your hand through the pain. It’s why the tiniest flame ignites in the darkness that haunts you when the kind, comfort of Chan’s mahogany eyes lock onto yours, honing in on the most vulnerable parts of you.

“I know sometimes you feel like you have to pretend you’re okay,” he says, the warmth of his palms shielding your cheeks from the autumn breeze, “But you don’t have to do that with me. I’m here for you no matter what. You know that, yeah?” You nod, sucking back tears as you notice the small group of late-night partiers crossing over to your side of the street.

With your back to the wall of a closed restaurant not too far from the club you just left, it’s impossible not to be nervous about the faces that pass you by. Even with Chan somewhat obscuring the view, your stomach churns at the possibility that people might see you falling apart like this. “Hey, look at me” Chan whispers, using the sleeve of his black hoodie to catch the tears that drip down your cheeks like water from a leaky faucet.

The gentle act brings your attention back to him. He cracks a tight-lipped smile, happy to have you back with him. “Don’t worry about them. Come here.” He takes you into his arms, offering you his shoulder to rest your head on. You accept the invitation, nuzzling against him to bathe in the comfort and safety that comes with his embrace. There’s a woodsy scent to his cologne that feels like stargazing by a campfire at night. It puts you at ease. Everything about him does.

“I’m sorry if I ruined your night” you sniffle, playing with one of the strings that dangles from his hood. Tucking his hands under your jacket, he massages your lower back, soothing the tension coiled around your spine. “Baby, you could never ruin my night. The guys were too busy drinking to notice anything and even if they did, who cares? You’re what matters to me.” The emotion in his voice leaves no doubt that he means it wholeheartedly.

You are what matters most to him in this moment and the next. It means nothing to him that a night out at some club had to be cut short because the mask you put on to conceal your pain had begun to crumble, the synthetic laughter and forced smiles becoming too much to maintain. Chan gets it, hiding behind a mask with a happy face painted on it, he does it sometimes too but he doesn't want that for you. He’d rather be out here with you baring this beautiful, teary-eyed face of yours than in there where you feel the need to hide.

“I just,” you take a deep breath, slightly trembling at the truth about to roll off your tongue, “I’m afraid I’ll scare you away one day.” “Scare me? Do I look like I scare easily?” he asks, putting on a brave face the way that a child might. It gets a weak giggle out of you, even at times like this he knows how to get to you in the best way. “No, but I know there are times when things get really dark for me and I can get so lost in it...” He kisses you on the nose, a cute little wet one that turns icy when the wind blows across your face.

“As long as I’m here, and I always will be, you’ll never get lost in it,” he promises, “I know I can’t drag you out of it but you can always call me and I’ll come running in after you.” You need time. A second or two, maybe even a minute, to take in what’s been said. He gives it to you, patiently rocking you in his arms as he lets you process it in silence. A year into your relationship and it still feels strange to be loved in the moments where you feel most broken.

Chest to chest, his heart beats in sync with yours, reminding you that, even in the absence of words, you're cared for. “Where’d you come from?” you ask, fingers tracing the contour of his jaw. “Sydney. Don’t tell me you’re just noticing the accent” he teases, summoning his best pouty face for extra effect. He gets another giggle out of you, still faint with an air of sadness but he’ll take it.

Chan hugs you tighter, kissing your fingertips. “I love you” he whispers. You close your eyes, letting the world around you fade away and your insecurities with it. “Love you too.”

#bang chan x reader #bang chan x you #bang chan angst #bang chan fluff #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #bang chan x gender neutral reader #stray kids x gender neutral reader

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seasidefallenangel · 7 months

Text

drain. (kanata yatonokami)

The kitchen faucet is leaking.

It drips at the same pace for seconds, minutes, hours. You know this, and Kanata knows, and Nayuta as well, but the two act as if it doesn’t matter. They’re talking to one another about something you don’t really understand nor care to, not when the faucet is leaking. Your eyes follow every drop, and your hand tremors in tandem with it. They’re talking, they’re laughing, they’re happy. They’re happy. Even with that stupid faucet, they’re happy.

Jealousy isn’t the right word, because if you were to tell Kanata you were jealous of him in any way, shape, or form, he’d either be insulted or disgusted - or maybe a mixture of both. He’d see it as patronizing, he’d think you’re making fun of him, because how are you jealous of the guy who has nothing but Nayuta - (and you, but you’re not really sure you’re something to be happy about having at all.)

The faucet leaks and the drop is so loud in your ears that it covers the jovial laugh of Nayuta. You don’t hate him - far from it in fact. He reads Kanata better than you can, a translator of sorts for the few moments you can’t really read in between the lines of your boyfriend’s words. He gives good fashion tips, he knows a lot of underrated hang-out spots that he shows you, subtly hinting that his twin would enjoy it if you took Kanata on a date there, he tells you about cozmez’s childhood when Kanata is reluctant to. “I think you’re good for him,” Nayuta said to you one night. The two of you were on the couch in their apartment. Kanata had gone to pick up dinner, leaving you with his twin. Your skin crawls at Nayuta’s statement because you know he’s not a liar, which means he’s just stupid enough to believe his own words.

The faucet was leaking then too.

“Thanks,” comes your noncommittal mumble, not even bothering to look up from your phone when you answer him. Part of you feels guilty because Nayuta is, despite everything, a very sweet boy. He deserves better than your bitter responses, and his brother deserves better than you as a whole.

His eyes narrow and he sighs, absentmindedly sketching something on his notebook. The pencil scratches as he continues to speak, “Quit being so mopey. He wouldn’t stick around if he didn’t like you.” And well, he has a point. Kanata’s not a fan of lying, preferring to rip the band-aid off before the wound has even finished healing.

The faucet leaks and the sound reverberates through the walls. You feel your heart sinking with every drop, waiting for the flood to come coursing through. The present rings to the front of your mind once more as Kanata nudges you, quirking an eyebrow up at your silence. You didn’t even notice Nayuta leave, presumably to go meet up with Shiki. Normally you’d join in on the twins banter, but you can’t even pretend like the idea doesn’t make your lunch start to build up in your throat.

“Your faucet is leaking,” you say quietly, eyes glancing at the water that falls. His gaze follows yours before his face shifts into confusion. You could tell he thought that if that was the reason you were so quiet, it was weird at the best and stupid at the worst - and he probably had a point.

“... Usually does. ‘S not that big of a deal anyhow. Just ignore it.” His voice gets quieter towards the end, like the state of their apartment is something to be embarrassed of, like you’re judging him for it. You’re not, but you don’t think you could explain your reasoning for being so upset by the faucet. Your finger taps on the table, slowly speeding up the longer your mind lingers. “You should probably get it fixed.”

Confusion changes to annoyance. “I just said it doesn’t matter. Does it bother you that much?” It’s phrased like a snarky comment, but you can tell there’s something underlying there. If it really did bother you for some reason, if it made you upset, then he’d get it situated to appease you.

Well, you think it’s underlying. Maybe he is actually mad, maybe he can’t stand you.

The faucet leaks, and you’re rotting away inside. Because the faucet leaks but the twins don’t care, the twins have each other, they’re never alone, so much so that the leaking faucet doesn’t even matter to them. They don’t even notice it.

“It’s broken, Kanata.” The crack in your voice is piercing as the tears start welling in your eyes, and you feel pathetic. Who are you to cry in front of Kanata, the boy who had the world drag him to its core and he managed to claw his way to the surface? The faucet drops grow louder when he leans towards you, worry written on his features. It’s subtle in a way that makes you want to scream.

The chair scrapes as you shoot up from the table and over to the sink, hands gripping the rusty metal. Kanata follows behind, bewildered and hesitant because you’re not making any sense and you know it, but you can’t explain it. Because the sentence, “your family loves you so much that the small issues don’t matter” is stupid in theory, but brings you back to the same old place - the one where the faucet leaking was your fault, where the car door wide open in the rain was because of your incompetence, the dog not being fed, the light left on, the minor inconveniences that shouldn’t mean anything turned into screaming matches where your throat bled ; the house that wasn’t a home, but a building filled with strangers to one another, a stark absence of love.

A hand slowly reaches towards your wrist, bony fingers wrapping around it and tugging gently. Your vice grip on the faucet fails to loosen as the mantra of, “it’s broken, it’s broken,” falls from your lips without much thought.

“Cut it out,” he says gently. It’s not the scathing irritation you expected to hear, but rather a concerned request. You think you’d prefer the anger.

He pulls one more, and your hands let it go as you turn to face him with your head hung low. He’s no stranger to trap reactions and trauma which makes this hurt more, because now you’re sure he has an idea of what’s going on inside of you. It’s the worst scenario possible for him to see you as you are.

Your nails dig into your palms and you ignore the liquid rising to coat your fingers, head tilting up to give him a false smile as the metallic scent of blood begins to overwhelm your smell. “Sorry.” Your voice sounds foreign and strange. “I’m fine now.”

His eye twitches and his mouth curls into a frown. You want him to scream at you and to kick you out and tell you to go away forever, because at least the pain of being alone will cover the agony of childhood clutching your throat. But he does none of that - and instead does something decidedly worse.

“Maybe I hide shit sometimes, but I’m trying to be more honest with you. You’re not gonna do the same thing for me?” The hurt in his voice is hidden by false exasperation. You want to grasp him tight, so tight it hurts him and he can never abandon you and fill him with endless words of love. You want to push him away, disappear without a trace like he never met you so he could live without the weight of your burdens pulling him down.

One sniffle, two, before your head leans against his chest and the silent sobs overtake you. He grows stiff for a moment and you can see it in your head, when he pulls away and berates you, but the scene changes when he slowly wraps his arms around you. There’s a small hint of discomfort in his hug - an act so unfamiliar to him - but the part that gnaws at you is how good it feels to be held by him.

It doesn’t make sense, it never will, and to put all your anxieties into words seems impossible. But there’s no denying the love that seeps from his touch, and it’s as constriction as it is freeing. It’s scary to be known but even more terrifying to be concealed, and if Kanata is willing to subject himself to the shattered lifeform that is you, then maybe, just maybe, you can let him slip through the cracks.

#paradox live #paradox live x reader #paralive x reader #kanata yatonokami x reader #paralive #every time i come back i have something new im unwell over #anyway hes my favorite. thog don't caare #angst #scenarios

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divine-misfortune · 9 months

Note

"don't you dare fuckin' come, because if you do, i'll come, too." - MountainDew ♡♡

It was like being hidden under the draping arms of a willow tree the way Dew's hair fell over his shoulders. Safe and concealed from the world behind that pale curtain, it's where Mountain falls apart. Where he's allowed to drift aimlessly in a warm, vacant, state.

His thoughts are a million miles away. Concerns even further, Dew made sure of that - it was the main reason he had the earth ghoul folded up under him. The weight of the world was a heavy burden to shoulder, and it weighed him down like cement but Dew came along to give him permission to float with firm hands and an edged tone. Unraveled him from the bramble of his own mind with a patience that made it so easy to fall.

And Mountain was grateful.

Grateful for the way Dew pushed his knees up to his shoulders, how his eyes never seemed to stray, that he fucked into him hard enough to keep every worry buried under the mounds of cotton filling his skull.

He had to force his eyes to focus on the ghoul poised above him and even then the only thing he could seem to fix his gaze on was the kiss bruised red of his lips. Mountain reached for him, to be sure Dew, as ethereal as he was, was real. His thumb dragged over his lower lip and Dew wasted no time kissing the rough pad of his finger, earning a breathy giggle from him.

"Take me so good baby, got so wet and I haven't even touched your cock..."

Mountain lifted his head and whimpered at the sight of himself laying hard against his belly. Neglected, the tip was an angry shade of red as it leaked like a fucking faucet into the lines on his stomach. A mess it he couldn't make himself care about.

"You like dripping on daddy's cock?"

His breath hitched. Hand flying to clamp over his mouth before a shameful moan could spill out but with a particularly rough thrust, enough to jolt his entire body, Mountain couldn't muffle it. Perfectly wanton. Dew grinned.

"Know you do, can tell...Fuck, you get so messy, just like Rain does. He's so good for me, but you're my good boy, right?"

Mountain nodded as the color bloomed like roses in his cheeks.

"Say it."

"I-" His voice warbled. It's the first time Dew's told him to speak in hours, and Mountain was entirely content to be the docile pet Dew liked him to be. He could've easily forgotten he had a voice to begin with. His tongue was heavy and formed .the words clumsily. "I'm your good boy."

Dew groaned as he pressed back into the velvety warmth that was the earth ghoul. No matter how much prep, Mountain was always tight. Like his body just wanted to pull Dew in and keep him forever.

"Feed yourself to me."

He could feel the splotchy flush creeping deeper into his skin, claiming him in embarrassment, as he swirled two fingers through the small puddle of pre gathering in the crease of his hip. Hot and sticky. Dew's lips parted automatically to take his offering. Watching his fingers disappear in his mouth made him dizzy, but it was nothing compared to the feeling that washed over him at the first flick of that clever tongue. Mountain felt his cock practically jump, something flipping in his gut.

Dew let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a growl as he sucked each finger clean. He pressed forward, forcing those thick digits damn near down his own throat.

"Oh fuck-" The fire ghoul breathed as he pulled off with a little pop, leaving Mountain glistening with his spit. "You even taste good for me too, sweet like honey."

"Daddy," he whined too far under to feel the typical shame he might have on any other occasion. No room to be shy when Dew had put smoke where something as trivial as humiliation once was. "Harder, harder, I can feel it I'm-"

Nails pressed into the back of his thighs. Dew's sweet smile turned cold, stern. It made him feel small.

"Don't you dare fucking cum," he punctuated his sentence, his warning, his command, with a thrust that hit home. The head of his cock bumped and dragged against that sweet spot that made Mountain's jaw go slack and his eyes roll back. It didn't help him stay away from the edge whatsoever. "Because if you do, I'll cum too, and I'm not fucking done with you. Still smart enough to remember your own name, daddy hasn't fucked you stupid yet."

#i need subby mountain so bad all the time u dont get it #void writing #writing #spicy tag #mountain ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #sodo ghoul #the band ghost #ghost the band #nameless ghouls #answered

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mermaidgirl30 · 3 months

Text

✨Crimson Tango: A Dance of Diamonds and Revenge Chapter 2 - It Always Ends Badly✨

Series Masterlist

A/N: Me and @mountainsandmayhem are having so much fun writing this Moulin Rouge au! We hope you enjoy chapter two ☺️ Comments and reblogs are always appreciated ❤️

Word Count: 5.7k

Pairings: Joel x fem! reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ Only)

Chapter Summary: Joel and reader finally meet. Things get a little heated till reader’s uncle interrupts. Plans take a turn for the worst when your uncle introduces you to Terrance, the man you absolutely loathe.

Chapter Tags: Flirting, feelings, fluff and thoughts of smut, angst, longing, grief

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

In the bright lights of your room, you notice things about the handsome stranger that you couldn’t quite see while you were up on stage. Like his eyes… They aren’t just dark brown. No. They’re lighter than you expected, almost the color of honey and copper mixed together. Light flecks of warmth reflecting off them. It almost reminds you of sunlight. Beautiful, warm. And just for a second you swear you can see home in those bright brown eyes that call to you. And his face is so beautiful. So smooth, tan, angelic.

“I - I’m sorry,” Joel stutters, using every ounce of self preservation he has to tear his eyes away from you.

You turn your back to him to put the dressing gown on properly, tying the satin pink sash in a bow to make sure the gown doesn’t slip off. The spike of adrenaline from performing always seems to cloud your mind and you must have forgotten to lock your door again. You glance over your shoulder to see Joel's wide brown eyes looking at your guitar and pottery wheel. “It’s okay, I should have locked the door,” you reply shyly.

You spin back around to face him, and in the sensual lighting of your bachelor style living quarters he might be the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. You wonder how old he is and if he’s married. You find yourself hoping he’s not. A married woman wouldn’t let her husband work in a place like this.

“Perhaps I should come back another time,” Joel says hesitantly.

“No, no please. Stay.” Your heart thunders in your chest, you’re sure he sees you as others around town do, a whore. That title has never bothered you before, let them think what they want to think, you know what you are. You are the Sparkling Diamond. The one that all men want, but can never have. You’re their fantasy, and unbeknownst to them you’re an untouchable fantasy. But Joel’s opinion feels like it should matter, you can’t explain why, but you want him to know that you aren’t like the other girls that work here.

“Alright,” he murmurs out, tugging at the collar around his shirt that is starting to feel too tight. “I just need to fix that dripping faucet for you and replace that light and umm, then I’ll be out of your way, ma’am.”

You say your name and his right cheek lifts slightly as he repeats it back to you. It’s never sounded sweeter coming out of someone’s lips. He glances quickly at your guitar and pottery wheel again before walking further into your room to inspect the sink.

“You’re Mr. Miller, right?” You had heard some of the women talking about the handsome new handyman your uncle had hired earlier.

“Yes, just Joel will do, ma’am.” His heart is hammering in his chest, he wouldn’t be surprised if you could hear it across the room. He opens the cabinets under your sink and sees a pipe with a steady drip running down to the floor.

You repeat your name again with a laugh.

“Sorry, that’s not how I was raised, darlin’.”

Darlin’. The nickname gives you butterflies low in your stomach and warmth floods your body. You feel your cheeks flush as Joel glances over you slowly.

His breath gets caught in his throat with how beautiful you look with a slight pink blush lighting your cheeks. His mind flashes to you on top of him, that blush spreading down your neck and chest slowly. Soft breasts in his palms as you bob up and down on his cock.

“Darling,” you repeat back dreamily, “you could just call me that if you like. I like it,” you blush crimson as you flutter your long eyelashes at him.

Joel is thankful his face is now hidden under the sink, the big grin across his face would definitely give him away. You watch his strong arms flexing as he tugs and pulls on the hardware under your sink. Watch the way his bulging biceps cling to the flannel every time he reaches and flexes his muscles. The sight alone makes you gulp with desire.

“Okay, if that’s the case then,” he raises his head to lock eyes with you, “can you please turn the water on, darlin’? Let’s see if I’ve fixed this.”

You pad over to the sink in your barefeet, toes painted the same red as your fingernails. You lean over Joel's outstretched body to turn the water on. Everything happens all at once; first, the water sputters and then shoots out of the faucet with much more pressure than usual, then the pipe underneath pours down on Joel. Before you can even comprehend what’s happened, Joel has you scooped up in his arm, while the other reaches to turn off the tap. He’s completely soaked now and when the two of you lock eyes you both start laughing. Neither of you can really remember when you’ve laughed like this. Warm, genuine laughter as he walks you away from the wet floor of your kitchen area.

“Shit,” you laugh, ‘I’m sorry! You’re soaked.”

Joel places your feet gently on the ground at the foot of your bed. “I think we need to replace that.”

You stumble slightly when he puts you down, like a few minutes of his touch has already made you weak and boneless. He grabs the hem of his shirt and lifts it up to wipe his face. You should look away, but instead you let your eyes wander down to the exposed skin of his abdomen, your bottom lip sliding in between your teeth. His flat abdomen has a little trail of hair that leads to the one spot you haven’t been able to stop thinking about since you saw him. Between that and the v shaped divots of his hip bones, you’re mesmerized. You want him, need him. Badly.

His brown eyes lock with yours as he lowers his shirt slowly, keeping his eyes intently focused on you. Your breaths come out shallow, causing your breasts to rise and fall rapidly. His eyes dart to your parted lips as you step closer to him. His warmth and mahogany smell wraps around you, enveloping you in a thick fog. He’s taller than you, much taller. You have to crane your neck up to look at him. One of his hands grazes against yours and you suck in a nervous breath as you feel electricity run through your connected skin. His fingers are soft and warm, but also rough and scalding all at the same time. The hands of a hardworking man.

“Darlin’?” He says in a cracked whisper.

“Y-yeah?” you coo, fingers reaching for his, your pointer finger linking gently with his pinky.

Joel hears Edward’s voice, don’t touch my girls. But his hands seem to have developed a mind of their own as he finishes intertwining your fingers with one hand, the other tracing a gentle line up your arm towards your shoulder.

“You have to stop looking at me like that…” he says, pushing your soft curls off your shoulder, brushing your exposed collarbone, his delicate touch causing your clit to throb. He’s so handsome, so… gentle. Soft.

You hold in a moan, his strong, thick fingers feeling like heaven on your skin. “Like what?” you ask quietly, locking your fingers with his as calloused fingers drag along yours smoothly. It’s like fire burning your skin. Warm, tempting, smoldering, life ending.

He steps closer, so close that if you could take a full breath your barely covered breasts would graze against his body. Your nipples are hard and sensitive against the silkiness of your dressing gown, begging to be released from the material.

“Like you want me to kiss you, baby girl.”

Baby girl, fuck.

His gentle touch continues up your neck and you can’t hold it in anymore, a moan slips from your lips as you lean into his touch. His eyes haven’t left yours, and they darken as he watches your body responding to his fingers. He traces your jaw line, stopping below your chin and lowering his face to yours. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

A breathy ‘yes’ starts to come past your lips when a loud knock on your door has you both jumping apart like you had touched a live wire. Joel rushes into your kitchen, grabbing a towel to clean the puddle of water on the floor quickly. You tighten your dressing gown and head to the door, opening it just a crack.

“Hi, petal,” your uncle says, “just checking on the sink situation. Did Joel stop by?”

You open the door the rest of the way and gesture for him to come in.

“Sorry, sir,” Joel says from his crouched position on the floor. “I think we’re gonna need to replace it. The one pipe is stripped and you can’t get a good seal without the threads.”

You smile at Joel from behind your uncle. He appears to be rambling. Nervous rambling.

“Do what you need to do, Joel. This is the room of our most prized possession. If she wants it, she gets it.”

If she wants it, she gets it. The words run through Joel’s head over and over again like a broken record on repeat. Like how you were practically begging him to kiss you seconds ago. Those smooth, glossy lips tempting him to dark places he shouldn’t go. He shouldn’t, he knows better. But he’s beginning to realise he has no sense of self preservation when it comes to you.

Joel notices the way your eyes glaze over with sadness when Edward calls you a possession and that’s when he feels it again. The connection, the tight string that pulls him to you. He can tell that you hate that, that you want to be seen for you and not just the fantasy you put out there for those sick men.

He can’t say no to you, he’ll never say no to you. To hell with the rules, he’d already broken them the moment he saw you. He wants to know you, he wants to play guitar with you and maybe you can teach him how to use that pottery wheel. He’s truly, royally fucked. Ruined. But so be it. As long as he could have you, he didn’t care about the consequences because all he wanted was you. His Sparkling Diamond.

“Petal, come to my office when he’s done here, please?”

You nod and smile sweetly, “Of course.”

After he leaves, Joel sighs and leans against your porcelain counter, crossing his strong arms across his chest, his soft chocolate eyes staring back at you. His eyebrows knit together and you can see him grinding his teeth together while his jaw clenches into a tight fist.

“Sorry.” It comes out of your mouth instinctively. You don’t know what you’re sorry for but it’s certainly not for almost kissing him.

“No, I want to, darlin’. I really want to. It’s just…” he walks towards you slowly, almost hesitating before he reaches for you. He’s known you all of twenty minutes and he already can’t stand being in the same room with you and not touching you. As his hands come up to lightly cup the back of your head he continues, “It’s just that doing that will get me fired.”

“Didn’t you hear him? If I want it, I can have it.”

You let your hand roam over his chest, and he can’t help but melt at your touch. “Fuck, baby girl. You’re so…I’m just…”

“Are you feeling flustered, Mr. Miller?”

“Very,” he says before crashing his lips into yours.

His lips are soft and fit perfectly against yours as they nip at your bottom lip and devour you nice and slow. You run a hand through his soft tousled curls and hear him groan against your mouth. He likes that, likes your fingers wrapped around his hair.

He slides his arms around your waist and pulls you tight against his broad chest, making your head spin with want and need. You can smell every inch of him, feel the mahogany and woodsy scent seep into every crevice of your skin. It’s intoxicating, electrifying. You want him, you need him, crave him like you’ve never craved anything else in your entire life. It’s him, it’s only him.

It takes everything inside you to break the kiss, and both of you whine out when you part. Joel fights the urge to readjust himself, he doesn’t want you thinking he’s like every other guy in here. He’s not looking for a quick fuck, he never wants to do anything quick with you.

“Fuck,” you say breathily, “I have to go. I don’t want to go, but he’ll come back.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be back tomorrow.” His thumbs graze the sides of your waist affectionately as he pulls back.

“Can I see you again?” Joel didn’t realise the elation that could come from those five little words. You step into him, resting your cheek against his chest, hands roaming his broad back. “Please?” you almost beg.

Joel groans at your touch, “Nothing would make me happier, darlin’.”

Before he steps out of your reach, you look to your acoustic guitar and back up into his warm brown eyes. “I saw you looking at my guitar earlier. Do you play?” you ask with your eyes focused on him intently.

“Mhm. Been playin’ a long time,” he replies and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, making you want to melt into his touch forever. “And you? I’m guessin’ you also play?” he asks with the cock of his thick eyebrow.

“Yeah, a little. I kinda taught myself as a child,” you say shyly.

A low whistle escapes his lips. “Taught yourself, yeah? Smart girl.” A smirk curls against his lips and it nearly knocks the breath from your body. “I could give you lessons, you know. If you’d want, that is.”

You don’t hesitate at all before you squeak out. “Please! I’d love nothing more,” you almost shout with a huge grin on your matted red lips.

“Perfect. It’s a date then…” he says as he slides his hand through his tousled curls nervously, making his brown flecks of color pop with his shy smile. You nearly explode at the thought of his strong arms around yours, his calloused hands guiding you along the strings as his smooth lips trace your neck line, whispering praises to you each time you learn something new.

Good girl. Doin’ so good for me, baby girl. Learnin’ so fast. Such a good girl… The thoughts nearly take you down to the floor.

“Well, guess I should let you get to Edward,” he sighs, already starting to move his arms from your waist. The feeling of him leaving makes you feel empty, hollow. A lost void in the darkness. You don’t want him to go…

After managing to pull yourselves out of each other's arms, Joel slips out of your room slowly, sending you a flirtatious wink and a small smile before closing the door gently. When you peel your eyes off the now closed door, you throw on a pair of pink lacy panties and a wrap around dress before heading out to your uncle's office.

When you open your door, you enter back into the chaos and madness of it all. You forgot that all of this was happening all around you when you were alone with Joel, almost like being locked in his eyes turned off the whole word. The burlesque is still hustling and bustling with men, dancers swarming them on the dance floor as they grab and take what they want from the women. You decide right then and there that you are done with this place and then roll your eyes bitterly as you make your way down the grand staircase, then down to the wooden floor, clicking your heels across the wood as you saunter your way to your uncle’s office.

You can feel the eyes roaming over your body, hear the cat calls the men make as they whistle and call your name. You tune them out, pretend you don’t hear the barbaric things they yell at you.

What could your uncle possibly want to talk about that couldn’t wait till tomorrow? Was he letting you come up with a new routine, maybe let you coach some more of the children on how to do kicks and twirls and little dance numbers? You liked the children, loved seeing their faces light up when you showed them a dance move or two. Maybe that’s what this was about. You hoped it was.

When you cross the dim lit hallway with red wallpaper and dark wooden floors, you turn the golden doorknob into your uncle’s spacious office. “Hi, uncle! You wanted to see me?” you ask brightly. As you turn you stop in your tracks, the door shutting quietly behind you. There’s a strange man standing almost menacingly near your uncle.

“Oh, uhh. Who’s this?” you ask cautiously, taking in the tall stranger that stands at the corner of your uncle’s long, wooden desk.

“Oh, petal. So happy you made it. This is Terrance. Terrance, this is our Sparkling Diamond.” Your uncle says your name to Terrance and he smirks at the mention of it.

Something about him makes your skin crawl. You can’t place what it is, but your gut and intuition are telling you to be afraid of this man and to run. Bile rises in your throat from questions that swirl violently in your brain.

Why was Terrance in here alone with your uncle? And why were you being introduced to him? Something wasn’t right. Something was off, very off.

Maybe when you’re 18, you can join them. No, that wouldn’t be it, he promised you that you would just be a dancer.

You blink away your thoughts and take in his appearance. He stands maybe six feet high, he’s built but somehow frail at the same time. When he takes his black top hat off and nods his head at you, you see the thinning hair that sits atop his head. It’s ash blonde with grey streaks running through every other strand. And his mustache is almost slimy looking, wet and slicked over with a grease like gel to hold it in place. You find yourself comparing it to Joel’s soft, trimmed beard and mustache. It’s nothing like this man’s. This man is… unkempt.

You take in his wrinkles, see the way his leathery skin pulls at the evil smirk that encases his chapped lips. This man is much older than you. Much, much older. Maybe the same age as your uncle or even older. You can’t tell, but he was way too old to be after a girl like you.

“So good to finally get to meet you, m’lady.” He takes your hand and brings his lips over your knuckles, planting a wet, sloppy kiss on your skin that makes you cringe. When you drop your hand back down, you run it over the back of your dress as you wipe the drool off your hand.

My lady? Just who did this guy think he was?

“Are you here to meet some of the dancers?” you ask him cautiously as you watch his grey eyes turn cold, calculating, and vindictive, but most importantly lust filled.

You watch his eyes scrape over you like sharp glass tearing through your skin, see the way he looks at you like a fresh piece of meat. He hones you like a hawk, piercing eyes scanning every inch of your body. You feel as if he sees right through the thin dress as he undresses you with his glazed over eyes. You cross your arms over your body and wrap the dress tighter around you, pretending as if that’ll make you feel slightly less exposed. It doesn’t help, not one bit.

“Not exactly,” he says, the vowels getting caught in between his teeth as he draws it out, words hooking on his annoyingly proper accent.

“Ummm, about that,” your uncle says nervously. He wipes at a bead of sweat on his forehead as his green eyes become big and wide before he says his next words. “He’s here for you.”

Your blood runs cold, veins constricting as you feel ice run down your bloodstream. You repeat the words in your head, almost positive you misheard him. He’s here for you. Here for you. But you hadn’t misheard. You heard him just right.

Maybe when you’re eighteen, you can join them.

“For me?” you whisper out, wide eyes looking over at Terrance as he runs his rough tongue along his bottom lip seductively, grey eyes hounding your body as he nearly combusts from his desire for you.

You see the way he looks at you, like a dog would a fresh bone. You see the way his fingers dig into his top hat as he stares at your breasts as they sit halfway exposed from the dress. There’s nothing but lust and desire in his eyes. Nothing but the mere inkling to rip your dress off and expose every inch of your body for him to indulge in. He doesn’t look at your eyes, or face, doesn’t even seem to care that tears are burning in the back of your eyes as he manages to violate you without even touching you.

Your uncle is selling you to him…

You hold your head high and bite your cheek before you say something hasty. You tear your watering eyes off Terrance, not able to look into the lust filled pits of his eyes anymore. Joel… Joel would never look at you like that, would never make you feel as small and feeble as Terrance just did. Joel looked at you with passion, need, like you were the only girl in the entire world. And that’s all you could think of now was him. Joel… the one you wanted.

“That’s right. For you,” Terrance smirks out the words as you stare distraughtly at him.

Your uncle looks between the two of you, the lines of his forehead wrinkling into worry lines. He looks nervous, sad even. And you know then this had to be a sick joke. He couldn’t be serious. He wouldn’t.

“Terrance, can you wait outside for us at the bar? Maybe go grab yourself a scotch? Need to speak to my little petal here,” your uncle says. Terrance nods and moves toward the door, sliding up behind you as you feel his hand brush up against the back of your dress, dangerously close to your ass. You suck in a breath and let him pass through the door, waiting a few seconds till you can’t hear his light footsteps down the hall anymore. Then you attack.

“What do you mean he’s here for me?” Your voice is raised, anger biting back as you snarl down at your uncle sitting calmly in his leather office chair.

“He’s…. uhhh he’s….” he stutters, nervous drips of sweat falling from his forehead as he takes a hand towel and dabs at his drenched skin.

“Just tell me!” you demand, almost screaming at him as your red polished fingers slam on top of his desk with a jolt, making a stack of thick papers fly down to the floor.

He sighs and nods before telling you. “He paid me money to have you…” he whispers out defeatedly.

“You sold me? To him?!” you yell loudly as your face floods with hot heat, anger and broken trust filling your insides like hot lava.

“Petal, I can explain,” he pleads as he holds his hands out, begging you to let him speak.

“Don’t!” you cry out, pointing your index finger in his direction as you see the shiny red polish shimmer back your way. “Don’t you dare call me that!”

Silence fills the air and you have to swallow the sob that creeps up your throat. Your hand falls to your side, “You lied to me,” you say quietly, hurt seeping through you as you feel your heart shattering. He was the one person you always counted on to be honest with you.

“Sweetheart, I didn’t lie,” he says defensively.

His defensive tone comes out cockily and you feel the anger bubble back to the surface, “You lied to me the day you started making me entertain those men! The day you made me sit on their laps as they looked at me like I was just a wet hole for them to fill.”

Your uncle cringes but you aren’t done, “You lied to me the moment you promised I’d never have to be fucked by any of those men! And now look. You fucking sold me to an older man, who spent the whole time looking at me like I wasn’t even a fucking person! Like he just wants to use me till I’m no more, until I’m nothing!” The words get caught on a choked cry as you feel a wet tear slide down your cheek. You swear with how quietly still the room is that you hear it splash on the floor.

Your uncle just looks at you with sad, distant eyes. Eyes that say they’re sorry all on their own. It makes you burn hotter, the betrayal cutting a clear knife down your back. You trusted him. You fucking trusted him. And look what he did. Sold you out to get fucking paid. Pathetic.

You turn toward the dark door and reach for the gold handle, but he stops you before you can twist it open. “Please, wait. Let me explain,” he begs as he stands from his chair, nearly knocking over the large picture of the Eiffel Tower off the back of the red walls.

You drop your hand from the door and walk back over to his desk, crossing your arms tightly over you as you wait to see what good excuse he gives you. “So, tell me. Go on. Tell me why you did this to me. I’m waiting,” you say coldly, eyes burning into his as he gulps and runs a hand through his sandy overgrown hair.

“I got a visit from some government people today. They don’t like what we’re doing here, petal. They threatened to shut us down. They found out it was more than a bar. Found out exactly what goes on here every night, and they don’t like it. Not one bit.”

He takes a large gulp of his brandy drink and shakes his head as he continues. “They’re making us pay double the property tax now. Says they’ll let us stay open if we keep that agreement. But do you realize how much money that is every year? And then Terrance walked in. I offered him any other girl, multiple girls if he wanted. I tried introducing him to other dancers, but the only one he wanted was you. I saw no other way, sweet pea. I was desperate.”

You take a step back and peel your eyes to the floor, your eyebrows knitting together as you take in his words. Your eyes grow wide at the information he just told you, but you can’t say anything. You’re too shocked from everything he just said, the words hitting every single nerve ending in your body like a freight train crashing right into you.

“They wanted to shut down the Moulin Rouge…” you barely whisper, your voice coming out as quiet as a helpless mouse.

“That’s right, petal. I had to strike a deal or they would’ve shut us completely down tonight. We would’ve ended up on the streets. All the women and children of this place; unsheltered and without work or food. Can you imagine?”

“No… I can’t imagine that…'' you say starstruck, your mind in a thick cloud of haze as you slowly face him again. His face is so sad, so drenched with apologies as he looks right at you with eyes that scream to you to forgive him. And you can’t say no, you can’t deny him that. Not even if what he did was cruel and selfish. But it wasn’t really that selfish because he was saving the Moulin Rouge. He was saving everyone that lived here, even you…

He comes around the desk and steps in front of you, taking one of your hands in his as he looks at you with sincere eyes. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose, right?”

You stare at the floor and purse your lips, deep in thought as you gulp down tears and meet his eyes again cautiously. You nod your head slowly as you continue to listen to him.

“I love you like my own daughter. And I promise you, if this incident didn’t happen today then I never would’ve taken him up on his offer. I never would’ve sold you like that, but I was desperate. I saw it as the only way out of this deep hole I got myself into. And I’m so sorry, so very sorry…”

You drag your tongue over your pristine teeth and look at him with hurt eyes, but you understand why he did it. He was desperate, only trying to save the ones he cared about. But that dark, nagging thought at the back of your head continues to scream at you, trying to tell you that he would do it anyway. If it was a large sum of money, would he still have sold you out? Without the government getting involved? You’d never know…

“How much?” you ask thickly.

“How much what?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows.

“How much did he offer you for me?” you ask coldly, choking back tears as you stare up at him with hurt written all over your face.

“$300,000…”

Oh.

Your eyes go wide at the large sum of money. $300,000? Holy shit…

“That’s a… wow. That’s a lot,” you gasp in shock.

“It is. It’s enough to save us, petal. Enough to keep it all going,” he smiles, eyes turning a bit brighter as he says it.

“How long am I supposed to entertain him or be with him or… whatever this is,” you ask in disgust, not wanting to think about his sloppy hands and greasy moustache on your clean skin.

“It’s not forever, petal. He’s much older than you. Maybe a few years with him, if that.”

“A few years?!” you shriek in surprise. “But he… but I don’t…” The words leave your mouth in choppy stutters. Your throat feels dry and constricted, and you can’t find the strength to finish your sentence.

“I know, petal. I know. Again, I’m so sorry. I know he isn’t your first choice. But he’s got a lot of money. He can take care of you. Maybe in ways I never could…” he says sadly, eyes dropping to the ground. He means he couldn’t save you from your impending doom. He couldn’t save you from the grimy hands of Terrance, the man that came and wrecked your life like a ship caught in a raging storm. But he’s the one that sold you… your uncle. The man you used to see as your hero.

“I don’t want him to take care of me. I get along just well on my own,” you say proudly with your chin raised high, trying your best to sound brave when your entire world is getting flipped upside down like a coiled up ball of yarn, no way of untangling your way out.

He sighs and shakes his head sadly. “I’m sorry, petal. I did what I could. Why don’t you just go back to your room and take a nice long bath. Don’t worry about Terrance tonight. You can see him tomorrow night.”

Tomorrow night. That meant he’d expect to sleep with you, show you off like his prized possession amongst all his rich friends. You feel a wave of nausea roll over your stomach, feel the backs of your eyes sting with fresh tears waiting to fall like raindrops down your face, feel the pure need to run to Joel, have him wrap you in his strong arms where it’s warm and safe. Where you belong. Where your heart burns.

You don’t turn back around to say goodnight to your uncle, you just place your hand on the cold metal knob and twist, stepping back into the loud hallway as men chant and girls twirl and dance for the men vulgarly. You walk past them lifelessly, holding in your tears till you reach the staircase, making yourself walk faster as the anxiety starts to crush you.

You grip the cold railing of the staircase and climb up each step with the weight of the world on your chest. It’s hard to breathe, hard to filter in fresh air when you feel as if you’re stuck underground with no escape in sight, suffocating on dirt and the stench of Terrance, weighing yourself down as you remember him carving his cold eyes over your body like a hyena ready to make you his dinner.

As soon as you enter the dark hallway, you turn the opposite way of your room. Your body almost having a mind of its own as you head to the dance studio. This room where you teach the children, a place of innocence and laughter. You close the door behind you, slide down the back of the door and end up on the floor as you curl your head into your knees, feeling the wet tears hit the pink material of your dress. You choke out tears knowing what you’ll have to do tomorrow, grab your silky hair between your polished fingers as you think of his dirty paws all over you.

It’s not forever. You can fake it. You can do this.

But you aren’t sure you can because every time you even think of Terrance your mind goes to Joel. Joel, Joel, Joel. He’s the one you want, the one you need. And you want him so badly that even thinking about him hurts.

Joel. He can’t find out. Not yet. What would you tell him? What would he do? You’d have to keep it to yourself. At least for a few days. Yes, just a few days. You could do that… right?

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jaketsparrow · 3 months

Text

TENDING Part 6.1

Tending Part 6.1!

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Josh Kiszka x f! Reader

Word Count: 6.3K

A/N: Welp it’s been months since I’ve updated this bad boy and I do apologize profusely. I finally feel like I’ve had my creative spark back :) I hope you can all forgive me that its 1. Late 2. Only half of a part. This is going to be a backstory chapter with some drama mixed in! The next chapter will most likely be the last… Also, I PROMISE I will be better updating from now on!

MINORS DNI

MENTIONS OF/ TW: Angst, mentions of vomit, swearing, lots of emotional/break up/ manipulation talks, lots and lots of drama and yelling, unfortunately, no smut this time around friends, please forgive me :)

Masterpost

The echoes of the rowdy women finally start to calm down. No more ‘how's my makeup?’, ‘that band was so good’, ‘Let’s get an Uber’. Just the silence of the empty bathroom, except for a steady drip-drop from the faucet. The bar outside was still rambunctious and full of life, but here in this one grimy stall, you were lucky to have a few moments of peace.

It was one of those ‘worn-in’ bathrooms. Drawings everywhere, phone numbers plastered across the stall doors, posters from previous events hanging askew to the sides of you. You couldn’t really tell if any of the surfaces around you were ‘clean’, but at this point, you didn’t care enough to think of the germs collecting.

You had your back against the cool textured wall, trying to collect yourself, finding sensations other than anxiety to focus on. You try to gather your surroundings, grounding yourself by running your hands over the words and numbers on either side of you.

Reality starts to set back in after the panic lowers. You can feel your body temperature dropping, the adrenaline and booze wearing off. Your eyes had finally stopped tearing up and for a brief moment, you had enough strength to asses.

What the actual fuck was going on?

Why did you feel so torn up about this man? When at every turn he just disappoints you.

Every chance you’ve given Jake has proven that maybe he wasn’t a person you could fix. You loved a good fixer-upper and you couldn’t stay away. Coming from a broken past yourself made it easy to want to try and help others, to coax others into feeling better, doing better. It was a habit you tried to break often, but always cycled back around.

Jake wasn’t the right person to give everything to. Every negative thought of him swirled around you, consuming you. The entire Mariella situation came flooding back to you. You fall weak for him every time, your rage turning into the most fucked up but beautiful apologies of lovemaking. Although you can’t romanticize sex with him, it’s quite honestly been pure lust. Craving each other, needing each other’s skin despite everything else falling apart.

You want him to tell you that you’re his girl… That you’re his good girl. You want to hear those words whispering in your ear, quivering at his slow breaths against your skin. It would make everything better because it just would. His praise is worth a thousand apologies. Wrapping yourself around him and staring deep into his big brown eyes was enough to make you forget everything. Feeling him reach your very limits, pulling you as close to him as you can get…

No.

But, you can’t let yourself be persuaded into a relationship of toxicity for the perfect fuck.

Well…

You haven’t even considered that there was also the good Jake. Not just the good-in-bed Jake, but the Jake that let you dance with him, despite denying that he could. The soft chuckle that he let escape his lips as you paraded yourselves around his living room. The music that filled the room slowly felt like it had slipped away the longer you noticed your connection growing. It was hard to even remember what was playing because all you could remember was his soft brown eyes looking back at you.

There was the Jake that did fight for you, multiple times. He stood his ground to a woman who was trying to do everything in her power to keep you two apart. He showed you his most private comfort place, where you both bared your souls to the nature around you. The most intimate and freeing apology of all. There was the version of Jake who quit his job so you could still work…

God. He was the epitome of an anti-hero.

The tears returned, streaming in small bursts down your face, never stopping. Your head started to collapse below you, trying to keep the tears from melting away the makeup you spent hours preparing for him. Each drop fell below you, although you could hardly see any of it through your clouded eyes.

If you weren’t going to end up with this man, he would be for sure the one that got away. He would constantly be on your mind. Ruining you. Climbing through every future memory of intimacy. Asking you ‘Is he better than me sunshine?’ and ‘I bet he can’t make you shake like I can’. Jake would swarm every thought, every decision, every lover.

This night caused more confusing thoughts to enter the mix. Although he showed such kindness to you, it was always in a backward way.

How could you deal long-term with someone so jealous? Someone who is jealous of you for forming a friendship with his own brother? How could you continue with someone who wasn’t even sure if he wanted to continue with you? Granted that time has passed, but will that thought always be in the back of his mind?

From this point on it felt less like a decision you had to make and more of a decision for him. But he had always picked you, between Mariella, between the job, he always chose you…

Slam!

“Oh shit.” A male voice echoes into the bathroom, “Is it clear in here?”

The house was completely dark when you pulled into the driveway. It was the first time Jake even let you drive in his presence; although he had no choice considering the state he was in when you left the bar. He probably could’ve handled the road fine but it was easier for you to get behind the wheel.

You park the car where he would usually leave his, and sit awkwardly in silence for a moment; gripping onto the steering wheel. Sweat steaming between the leather grips and your palms.

Your heart is pounding. This is a deciding moment, you weren’t sure where the conversation would lead you. You remember your first night together, back at the bar, feeling that same heartbeat flutter. Only this time the feelings you had were not full of new beginnings, but rather worrying about an ending.

He hadn’t spoken a word since you put him in the passenger seat. He made no admirations to the cute knickknacks you had collected in your car. It was a very tidy car, but over the years you tried to put more of yourself in the car; this thing is yours until you run it in the ground, so why not? Cute little celestial strings hung from the rearview mirror, little statued women sat near your speedometer, just little pieces of you sprinkled in this steel box. You were especially hurt that he didn’t immediately perk up at the CD cases tucked between his seat and the center console; he wasn’t even interested in seeing if you had ‘good music taste’.

This was awkward, but you had to get out of that bar. There was no way you were going to be able to discuss anything productively with his two brothers and best friend listening in on every word and possibly amplifying the situation further. You had learned your lesson finally.

“Jake,” You attempt to prod him in a calm and gentle voice, hesitant with your tone. Remaining neutral.

He doesn’t respond. He starts to fiddle with his belt, holding his head down in a pouting position. His thumbs run past the buckle, swirling in patterns over the metal. He can’t even look at you. It’s the same avoidance all over again. He’s like a child in that respect, he can’t even come to sit at the table for real adult conversations.

You turn to face him, lifting your leg slightly on the seat, trying to still seem casual and not at all upset, “Jake. I brought you home because we need to keep talking.”

The silence in the air lingers a bit longer through the tension. You two are both separated from each other entirely. Not only because of this difficult discussion, but because there was literally a part of the car separating you two.

“I just don’t know what to say to you,” He stops fidgeting and cranes his neck back into the headrest. He’s halfway to a tantrum. You’re pushing him to be vulnerable; that would be a risky move. “Where do I even start?”

“How about you start by telling me the whole story Jake.”

You jump up, scared of hearing the voice of the opposite sex join you in your echo chamber. “Hello?” You call out, trying not to sound as frightened as you feel.

“Darling! You didn’t leave!” The voice sounds more familiar now.

“Josh?”

You unlock the stall door and peek out to see his familiar curls. He looks concerned, unsure of what he’s even doing in the women’s bathroom.

“Is he in here too?” You ask, scared to fully emerge.

“No, he won’t move. Stubborn fucker.”

Once you know it’s safe, you step out of the stall, holding yourself in a slump. You look over to the mirrors to see that your makeup is far past ruined; you’re practically ready to audition for clown college. You reach your hands up and awkwardly paw at your face, trying to hide the tears from Josh. The makeup runs across the pads of your fingers, the tears barely helping to wash away the mascara.

“Oh, oh, don’t worry about that.” Josh saunters over to you, arms spread wide ready to envelop you in a hug. He braces you and reaches himself around your shoulders. You rest your head into the crook of his neck, trying to sniffle away the tears.

“J-Josh,” You say through muffled choking breaths.

He rubs his hand across your back, “Shh, don’t say anything to me. I need to apologize to you. I’m sorry I did that to you, it wasn’t right of me to be the one to say something like that,” He unfortunately releases the hug, but traces his hands down your arms to catch your hands, holding them firmly in his. He takes a deep breath for a moment, lowering his head in shame. “He just was being a complete dick!”

You laugh at his honesty. Jake was being a complete fuck. His attitude always rose within a matter of seconds. You couldn’t understand where it all came from. It was like someone setting off a Molotov cocktail.

“No, no, please don’t apologize,” You whimper, pouting your lip out, trying to keep the tears at bay.

Josh squeezes your hands again, “I insist that you let me say that I’m sorry. I know how to get under his skin and that very moment was the wrong time to prod at him.”

Josh has this sincere look about him. Although minutes ago he couldn’t read the room, now he was, understanding the care that you needed at this moment. He had this healing, vibrant energy about him that would be impossible to be upset at.

“You really do know how to push his buttons,” You giggle softly, “He was totally out of line and being horrible… As he is known to be…”

Josh pouts back, mirroring your expression, “He was… And well is… But that didn’t mean I needed to say something that would hurt you too.” Josh lowers himself to meet you at your eyeline.

It's quite remarkable how similar the two look. Although, their energy is what truly makes them stand out as different individuals. They share many of the same features, those soft yet strong bones, and the perfect full lips, but… Something about their eyes makes them so different. Josh has a ray of sunshine behind his eyes, while Jake has the stars and moon behind his.

You drop your shoulders, “What did you mean by… You know… What you said Josh? I want to know if he even wants to keep doing… doing this whole thing.”

“Mama, are you kidding?” He pets your hair out of your eyes, “Just look at you, of course he does! Are you fucking joking?” Josh’s excited voice doesn’t dissuade your uncertain feelings.

“But you said-”

“Ah ah, you silly beautiful girl.” was this a compliment or him calling you stupid… “You didn’t listen to everything I said,” Josh taps the side of your head, “clearly a bit foggy up here from all that whiskey you just downed- a nice touch of drama by the way.”

You shake your head and smirk shyly. It was dramatic. It was far more confrontational than you had ever been before. He forced this side out of you, this primal, protective rage. You wanted more than ever to protect your sanity, your heart. Everything was hot, then cold, black, then white. There was no clear happy middle ground when it came to the two of you.

Josh continues, “I said he thought you didn’t want him anymore. He was trying to respect your wishes.” He lingers on that for a moment. The words settling in… Respect… what you wanted… “But you have to remember darling, he can be as dense as they come sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” You cut in with sarcasm.

“Yes, but shush. He needed that push to fight for what you have. Do you know how much he talked about you before we went on tonight? He wouldn’t shut up about how he was excited to have you in the crowd tonight and to go home with you, as his. Not something he had to try and win over, not someone he would have to fawn over from the other side of the bar-”

You cut Josh off, “He said all that?”

“We’ll I’m embellishing, I know he meant all of that. Anyway, my point is no matter what, he would’ve come back eventually- I know that for a fact. You’re quite special, I don't think he’s stupid enough to waste not being with you. He just needed his big brother to give him a swift kick in the ass to chase it all a bit sooner. If anything, I just moved the timeline along.”

You raise your hands to your brows, furrowing them in confusion, “But why all the back and forth? Why all the big messes that, if I may add, are never truly cleaned up by himself. Why does everyone else have to convince him to do the right thing?”

Josh moves his hands from yours and rubs the sides of your shoulders, “Mama I think he’s falling for you, he’s just so clueless and doesn’t know how to tell you. Men, am I right? ”

You reach up to grab his hands, “Josh, do you realize how annoying that is?” You chuckle at the thought, Jake does have quite the incompetence for love, “How annoying it is for two people who can work together to have all of these fucking nightmares? Nightmares that I may add could’ve been avoided. He’s been constantly trying to burn this bridge ever since we built it!”

“Of course, I know it’s a mess, but you have to understand the reason he is this way.”

“And why is he that way? I think he likes to make us all scramble around for him…”

You drop your hands, dramatically pacing about the bathroom now. Trying to make it all make sense. Everything is done so that Jake is in the right. Everything is cleaned up for Jake. He never has to think too much about anything because someone else will come along and give him an ultimatum or push him in the right direction. He never has to come be the one to apologize because someone else will come to clean up his messes; to give grand excuses for his behavior.

‘Oh, he didn’t know’ or ‘he’s so confused’.

You couldn’t be in a relationship with a man where you were constantly having to cater to him, to always be the forgiving one. A few weeks were draining enough to experience all of this, but how would months, even years feel?

Josh breaks the silence, “Well that’s because someone else did that to him.”

You stop pacing, thinking about what Josh could mean by that. Someone else? As in another girlfriend? You start to slowly walk back into the conversation.

“Why? Wait, what happened?”

The door rustles behind Josh. Danny pokes his head in, awkwardly smiling at the two of you. He puts his hand up in a shy wave. He’s bashful and not entirely thrilled to be interrupting.

“Not to rush,” He interjects, “But some of the girls out here are really not liking the idea of using the men’s room instead.”

“Too bad!” Josh shouts. He stops for a moment to think. Almost like a lightbulb went off over his head he goes, “Oh! Boy! Wow! She’s really thrown up everywhere! What a fucking mess!-”

“Josh!” You scold.

Josh turns back to you, whispering, “If you want the story, I have to buy some time… Oh, man! Do NOT come in here! This is fucking crazy!”

You realize Josh’s plan and play into it, making loud gagging noises to sell it further.

“Don’t! Blehhh Come in!” You yell.

“Oh wow! They’re going to need two mops for this mess!” Josh can’t help but giggle at his own statement.

“Josh!” You laugh with him this time, “Two?!”

Danny smiles at the improv, poking his head back outside. You can hear his muffled voice softly telling the women that you ‘just need some time to clean up’.

“Okay, go!” You push, “You can’t leave a cliffhanger like that! Mr. Stoic was in love? Mr. has no emotions?!”

“Well,” Josh sighs, “I wouldn’t call it real love…. But yes, Jake had a love, once. She was horrible, awful. We all hated her.”

“This sounds like a great start.” You interject, “It’s always the problematic woman huh? And the innocent manipulator?

Josh sighs, and grabs your hands into his, “Can ya let me tell my story before you start with all your comments?”

You squeeze Josh’s hands back, nodding, agreeing to behave.

“Oh good, because it’s a fabulous story, but I never get to tell it! My brother is awfully sensitive about her. ‘Don’t bring her up Josh’, ‘I’m fine as long as I forget about her’. Ugh. He just couldn’t let go of her. Quite an annoying person. She was always the first one to pick on Jake, more so than I do- which as you know, is saying something. She loved to point out all his flaws, and try to take away his autonomy in every sense. He fell victim to it, becoming a pet of hers. She’d say jump, he’d say how high…

She would show up to all his shifts at the last bar he worked at, and sit there and watch him… I don’t mean she would fawn over him the way you used to, but she would sit there, and judge every interaction, everything he did… The entire time. She was… to put it nicely… Psychotic.”

She sounds lovely, you think to yourself. Explains some of the behavior he’s displayed in the past few months. The need to be in control in the bedroom, the lack of emotional intelligence…

“She wanted to control Jake, and because he was young, stupid, and well, in love. And you know what that ass did? He let her. We started to protest it, tried to set up more gigs to get him out of the house, to introduce him to more people, show him he was better than her, and she found out.”

The reaction is swift and immediate, “Oh, he didn’t…”

“Oh yeah, that fucking idiot told her everything! There were no secrets between them! She made sure of that. Well, really I should say, he had no secrets when it came to her. That… She… I could count on two hands how many ‘friends’ she saw behind his back… She hated us for trying to break down the manipulations. So when she saw that he was pulling away from him, she started to catch on to him and where we were stealing him away. He broke one night and crushed all of our hard work. And from that point on, all she did was take him away from us, until…”

“... Until?” You poke.

An uncomfortable sigh pushes through Josh, “Until she made a move on me.”

“What?!” You exclaim.

“Yes, yes, quite dramatic. We were out one night all together, playing pool or darts or something. She had only let Jake go out with us if she was there to be his bitchy chaperone; we couldn’t be trusted to be alone with him anymore. Well later that night I’m driving the two of them home, Jake’s practically passed out in the passenger seat and she was screaming some stupid pop music in the back seat. I helped her into the house, leaving Jake to rest a little longer since he was out. I walked her into the living room and laid her on the couch. When she fell back, she latched onto me and practically sucked my face off while I struggled to get her alien mouth off of me.”

Josh mimics the entire scenario, creating his reenactment of sorts. Flailing his body about the linoleum floors. What a fucking character.

“Oh no…” The severity of this situation is climbing and climbing, and everything is starting to make sense.

Josh continues, “Little did either of us know, but Jake was not asleep in the car, just merely ‘resting his goddamn eyes’ and came through the front door to find her tongue halfway down my throat. They screamed, and he cried, then she cried, meanwhile, I scrubbed my mouth out in the kitchen sink… It was a whole ordeal.”

“But why did she even kiss you? Was it to get back at Jake for something? Just a fucking cheating addiction? Why would she do that to him?” There are so many questions to be answered, and your time in this ‘private’ bathroom was running out.

“She claims the whole twin thing and that she was too drunk to make out who was who, but darling… Can you believe that? I am much better looking than Jake, you’d think she’d know the difference.”

“Okay, Josh.” You roll your eyes.

“All in all, it was quite uncomfortable for me, but it was enough to push Jake to leave her once and for all. It took him ages to be able to talk to me about it, mostly because during their whole fight she had convinced him it was my idea. By some sort of good magic, he broke her spell and listened to reason… But through this whole ordeal, he lost a lot of the love he could give…

He just didn’t trust me or anyone anymore. He got paranoid all the time and would hate to be alone, but if I came to live with him he wanted me to leave after only a couple of days. I felt horrible for him.” Josh dropped his head, “He had wasted years being taken around like a show pony… All for it to end because she couldn’t resist me.”

“Oh my god Josh, you’re not helping yourself look any better here!” You joke at him, knocking your palm into his shoulder.

“Oh c’mon! You know what I mean.” He turns to face his complexion in the mirror, playing with the tussles of his curls, “Anyways, from that point on he became this mysterious shrouded man that none of us recognized. He started having more random girls follow him home from the bar, he started just being stupid.

And that lovely ex-girlfriend of his, well she never stopped showing up at the bar… She would come in and harass every girl who showed up at the bar, but never in a way that she would be caught. She would leave backhanded compliments, tell them that Jake would never go for them, blah blah. All bullshit so she could keep control of him. He pleaded with her to leave, to give him time to heal; but she wouldn’t.

The manager and security finally caught on to her, but by that point, it was too late. Jake was worried he would never move on as long as she knew where he was. So he had to move to a different bar, the one you worked at…”

Josh glances over at you to gauge your reaction. He looks suspicious like he’s hiding some of the truth.

“Okay… Feels like there's more to this story…” You follow Josh’s reflection and catch him half-wincing.

“There is. And you might not like it, but…” He turns back to face you.

“But…?” You Push

“...What did Jake tell you about Mariella?”

“Mariella?” A name you thought you wouldn’t have to deal with now. You had finally felt like you had the upper hand on that bitch, “Just that they had slept together once, right when he started… Right?”

Before you can even finish your sentence a craze starts to fill through you. Fuck. You can see the puzzle pieces connecting in your mind. Not a complete picture yet, but you know something is going to be said that will connect all the pieces.

What does she have to do with all of this?

“Well. That is correct. But did he tell you why he slept with her?”

“Josh… I don’t like where this is going.”

Your pulse starts to drop again. You had hoped you would hear nothing more of this story or this girl, mostly because you thought that had been resolved. You already had enough jealousy that had built up from that situation, and you can feel it burrowing through your sane mind again.

“I don’t think you entirely will, but it pertains to the story.” Josh sighs, “Now these are probably details he left out because of the whole other story… but Mariella was a friend of Jean, his ex.”

A complete feeling of bewilderment smacks you. The fuck? Friend? Is this a revenge story? A rebound? Did he…?

You don't have much time to think before Josh is spoon-feeding you the rest of the story.

“Jake knew that Mariella and Jean were friends. Now they weren’t best friends or anything like that, but he knew that if he slept with her, it would be enough to feel like he was even for Jean hitting on me or something- I don't know!

“That’s gross.” You can’t help but feel gross knowing Jake was that kind of guy.

“Well…Except, he couldn’t.”

You make a befuddled face, confused, “He couldn’t what? Like he decided it was bad? He had come to his senses?”

Josh grits his teeth, almost looking like he is unsure whether he should share these next details.

“He cried. He made it to her bedroom and cried. They were still dressed, he never even attempted anything. He brought her home, talked a big game, and then sat there and cried on the edge of her bed. He tried to get something going, but I think she had come to her senses by that point… He had put on this tough exterior for months, but he couldn’t be that guy. He didn’t want to admit that to anyone… And well Mariella had everything she needed to blackmail Jake.”

“Fuck.” You walk over to the sinks, leaning your lower back into the counter, “So he never even-”

“No mama. He didn’t.” Josh strolls over to lean next to you.

“Then why did he?-”

“Would you want to tell someone you're sleeping with that your first rebound you spend the entire night crying?”

“I guess not.”

Everything was starting to make sense. That cool, distinguished vibe Jake was always trying to emulate was a front, when in fact he was as soft and gentle as you had dreamed. Jake was just a lost boy, floundering around, trying to protect himself from being made a fool, or falling in love too hard too soon.

You turn to look at Josh, who is wincing through all the realization, “Fuck. Oh no Josh… He’s going to hate you for telling me all of this.”

“I know.” Josh pets his chin between his hands, “Still not sure if it was the right thing to do… Seems like I’ve gotten pretty good at oversharing Jake’s messes. Maybe you can convince him to tell you his story, now that you know he’s worth trying.”

“I never said I would try Josh, I still feel pretty fucked by this whole thing. The least he could do is actually fuck me instead of fucking me over and knocking my brains around in my head every couple of days.”

Josh shrugs, “That’s Jake. At least, the Jake that’s out there now. But I know what he’s capable of.” He winks at you.

You lean over to hug Josh, squeezing him with all of your might. “I don’t know what to do Josh. I think I love him.”

“I think he feels the same way, Mama.” He pets the back of your head, calming you.

You can practically feel the radiation of relief washing over Josh. He never knows whether he’s saying the right things or not. But just that simple explanation gave you everything you needed to forgive Jake, or at least to know it’s worth trying to talk something out with him. It was sad to know that it didn’t come from him, but wounds can be hard to talk about.

You had wounds of your own, fears of being abandoned, and always ready to cut things off before getting your heart broken. Perhaps you were too quick to keep turning Jake away, but of course, all of this is easy to say now that you have the full story and time to reflect.

Knock… Slam.

Jake barrels in, guns blazing, ready to tear the place apart.

“Hey!!”

He drunkenly stomps over to the two of you and pulls you apart.

“Jake!” You scold.

He turns to you, and points his finger in your face, “No. Not you. Do not get involved this time,” His finger veers over in front of Josh, “Stay out of my fucking love life. Don’t get her to leave me too.”

Josh throws his hands up in defense, “I didn’t-”

“You always, always win Josh. You took Jean, you’re taking her too.”

Josh squares up against Jake, taking his hand to lower his finger, “Have you considered that I’m not the reason they always leave Jake? Have you considered Jean was a horrible person for you and you’re still letting her ruin your life? You’re letting it ruin her chance to know you?” Josh looks over to you this time.

Jake throws his hands up in the air, “Ohhhh wise Joshua, please let me in on your vast knowledge of relationships. You’ve survived so much! It’s bullshit Josh. Everyone loves you, everyone adores you, you don’t fucking get it.”

This. This was disgusting. Everything Josh was saying was completely crumbling.

You take your moment, and prepare to join the battle, “Jake.”

He doesn’t even want to turn to look at you. He knows he’s being horrible. He knows he is trying to share the load of his pain instead of facing it.

“No, I said no. You don’t get it either. Do you know what it’s like to always be the other twin? The less outgoing, the less lively. Oh yes, assigned that from the beginning. Josh was the star of the show and got everyone he wanted. Got all the attention. Steals everything from me…” “Are you finished?” Josh asks, crossing his arms in front of him, “Because I have something to say now.”

Jake turns around to face the wall, smacking his palm against the brick, “Oh go ahead, please, we’d love to hear you talk some more.”

“So you decide now is the best time to come in here to try and get her back huh? Now, twenty minutes after your dirty secrets come out? Not when she was trying to fix it? You think you’re some brave guy coming in here to save her from me? No fucking way. I- ME- I am the one who came in here to make sure she was okay, not because I’m in fucking love with her, but because she’s in love with you. You have to be honest with her, be a fucking man.”

“Josh-” Jake murmurs, he seems hurt, “I-” He stares intently at Josh, broken from the words that were just spoken to him. You can see the emotions swirling inside of him, trying to decide: good, bad, angry, sad. You see his finger raise again and lift towards Josh.

“Jake! Look at me!.” You place your hands on your hips, scowling at Jake. He’s still locked into Josh, staring at him with a feverous intensity. Here was that brute cover-up again, and you were ready to face it head-on. “I’ve had just about enough of whatever bullshit this is. Your adult men, knock it the fuck off, you both care about each other! Stop being petty children. You’re both pretty! Whatever you want to hear!” You feel your blood pressure rise, all the drama and persuasion you have in your body pushing forward, “Jake your brother loves you and is trying to help you because for some reason as grown as you are, you still don’t know how to use your fucking words. Josh, your brother also loves you but you do have a habit of taking things too far and stepping into shit that doesn’t belong to you… Now, if we can get back to being fucking adults tonight that would be great!”

He turns to gingerly look at you. He’s scared. Thats all. He doesn’t want to be mean. He’s like a child, unsure of how to deal with his own emotions.

Josh looks at you, slightly frightened, but also intrigued by your willingness to control the situation.

“Alright? We get it?” You check both of their expressions, making sure the sentiments have sunk in, “Good. Apologize so we can get this shit over with.”

Jake jumps back and squares his shoulders, trying to boost his manly behavior. He squints his face in a peculiar unsettling way, “I’m not-”

“I’m sorry!” Josh blurts out. He sounded fearful almost like he was scared you would do something to him if he didn’t apologize.

You turn to look at Josh who has this sheepish apologetic look on his face. Jake brings his hand up to his face, trying to rub away the distasteful expression. He relaxes himself enough to admit to Josh, “I’m sorry too.”

He looks to you for approval. You cross your arms over your chest and nod satisfactorily. “Okay fine. Good enough,” You examine Jake, not just trying to quickly survey his expression, but instead seeing the fear behind his deep brown eyes. The guilt slowly pulls forward, creating a stormy mess inside. “We’re taking you back to your place now. Okay?”

He lets his guard down entirely. Shocked at the words coming out of your mouth. You two are entirely landlocked, holding your ground just feet from each other. Jake, opposite to you, has no idea that his whole love life was just spilled to you. Instead, all he knows is he is scared. He thinks he’s lost you all over again.

He seems like he’s sobered up, like his mind is clear, like he was ready to fight for you, on his terms this time.

Josh tries to sneak past the two of you. Danny opens the door enough to let him squeak out.

You walk up to Jake, wrapping your hands around his waist, pulling him tight into you. Lining yourself up to fit right into him. You look up to him, reaching one of your hands up to tuck the loose pieces of hair back into their rightful place. He’s silent, watching your every move.

“Jake,” You coo, “I’m going to drive us back to your house, okay?” He nods his head, “And then,” You dig your hands into his hips, “we’re going to talk. Like how fucking real people should.” He nods again.

You move your arms up to his back, caressing him softly, trying to show him that you aren’t as mad as you may seem. You reach around to his bicep, cuffing yourself on it, guiding him out of the bathroom.

You open the door to find the two hooligans, Josh and Danny, leaning against the door, eavesdropping.

“Boys, I think it’s time we call it a night.” You rub both of their shoulders, silently thanking them for their efforts tonight. “We’ll do this again soon, okay?” You look to Jake, who is still stoic, perhaps more confused than anything, “Jake and I are going to go home and chat.”

Out of nowhere, Sam pounces over to the group. He looks concerned and worried, “Oh my god! I heard you throwing up like crazy in there are you okay?!”

You turn to Danny, “Do you wanna?-”

Danny laughs, “I got it.”

You give Sam the same comforting arm rub as Josh and Danny and continue to parade Jake through the bar. Some glances make their way across the room. No surprise there; you were some form of entertainment for the customers tonight.

Jake finally breaks his silence, the shock is settling, “What's?-”

You shush him, “Let's just get home.”

Taglist:

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#jake kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van smut #gvf #gvf fic #jake kiskza x reader #gvf smut #greta van fleet smut #jake gvf

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phantomrose96 · 1 year

Text

Yknow I don't think I've... talked about the absolute smorgasbord of shit what's gone wrong with my condo since I moved in so

day 0 - hadn't moved in yet, was just moving items over, turned the sink on for just a moment. turns out the tube feeding into the sink faucet was full of holes (how???) and this caused a never-ending leak under the sink. the standing water rotted the baseboard under the sink

still day 0 - said leak and water accrual dripped down and damaged downstairs neighbor's ceiling ($$$). she has to call me to tell me about it.

I have to get a plumber out there next day (still not living there yet! empty place! I have to take off work). While waiting for plumber, I discover heat's not working.

Go to basement to investigate boiler. Seller didn't fix the issue they claimed they fixed.

Plumber looks at sink. Declares it full of holes. Says he can come back in a few days to fix it.

(Plumber postpones, then flakes. I chase down a different plumber.)

Plumber 2 says the issue is with the garbage disposal, not the faucet. Can come back x days later to work on that, and the boiler.

Plumber 2 comes back x days later (I have to take off work again), says "oh the disposal was messed up but also the faucet has holes." Says he can come back maybe the NEXT day with a new faucet

Oh also the smoke detector in the back hall is low battery beeping and I don't have a battery for it. It's constant, every minute on the minute.

I bike to a hardware store and buy a faucet and a battery ($$). Get lost on the way home. (All of this back and forth is by bike. I live in the city and do not have a car.)

Plumber replaces the faucet ($$). I replace the smoke detector battery but it's still beeping. Dozens of more stupid minutes later of going up and down and up and down stairs and dragging my big stupid ladder around, I realize it's the carbon monoxide detector which is hidden behind the door I need to open to even get to the back hallway.

Plumber services the boiler ($$$)

I move in. I have a less than great time emptying everything from my apartment, which doesn't have plumbing issues. On a bad foot to start.

Travel for Christmas. Come back. Now the first floor back-hall smoke detector is beeping. (At least I have a fucking battery. Get my big stupid ladder down the back hall, knock every wall on the way down, and replace that battery).

I get first month's heating bill (I'd been living there for 10 days if even.) $334. Jesus christ. Likely due to the boiler issue.

Electricity goes out for the evening, same day as I get this bill from the gas and electric company, because fuck you I guess.

Homeowners insurance log in doesn't work. I haven't received my bill, which I need to pay.

Radiators bang in the middle of the night. Something something about them being old or not level or full of ghosts. Cool I don't need to sleep or whatever.

I've received no correspondence from the bank about my first mortgage payment. It'll be due Jan 1st, which is a holiday, so I reach out early. They say it's in the mail.

I monitor my mail every day. I receive no mail. I contact again. I reach out to my old apartment building in case it's there (they can't tell me). I sign up for a bank account with them online. I jump through various hoops to discover the bank has my address wrong. The address of the place the mortgage is on...

They had the mortgage address right. They had my home address as identical to the mortgage address but with one number missing. No one noticed. They'd been sending my stuff to a non-existent address, or the back of a college warehouse, I haven't quite figured it out.

I jump through more hoops to pay my mortgage payment with a check in the mail (I had to go buy stamps and an envelope) (late, but they assure me there's no penalty, but are you sure.)

^This has all been about 2 weeks. btw.

(I get a therapist, and find my way to being seen by a psychiatrist, which I guess is good but jesus is it $$$. Still figuring out how to use my stupid HSA)

People on floor 1 move out. They've got contractors in constantly renovating the place top to bottom. I get all their paint fumes.

Sound proofing doesn't exist, turns out. I hear my downstairs neighbors' conversations. I hear their tv. I hear street conversations. One night it was pouring rain and I was woken up by the sound of something banging against the house. Like genuinely banging. I go outside and investigate - it's a car idling with their windshield wipers going. Windshield wipers. Why would that be audible. Walls made of paper.

Floor 1 contactors leave the back door open one night. Luckily I wasn't storing anything in the back hall and had the door to my interior locked.

I receive my next month's heating bill. $689. I call the gas company and they shrug. I call the plumber and he shrugs. I turn the heat way down cuz I don't know. I dunno. Something's wrong with the boiler but it just got serviced so I dunno. I have to call someone else.

Speak of the devil, cones appear immediately outside my building declaring there's going to be gas line work. For a month. They start with the jackhammers at 8am every weekday. It's gonna be a month. I miss the windshield wipers.

We have a weekend of arctic freeze. -30F windchill. I go down to the basement Sunday morning to do laundry. Floor 1 contractors have outdone themselves by leaving a window open. Pipe had burst in floor 1 and was pouring water down into the basement, totally flooded.

I have to call the plumber, and flag the Floor 2 people about it and they at least find the master water shutoff. I'm dealing with the plumber and I have no water for half the day and no laundry for me.

I want to lie down in a marsh for a bit.

#chrissy speaks #this isnt even touching on the stuff I am simply BAD at #like figuring out furnishing #which has been a whole fucking ordeal but thats because im bad at it so its not like i can blame anything else

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pascals-doll · 3 months

Text

kill kill 3

joel miller x reader

🫧 lovely gif by the @daydreamingmiller !

🫧 final part | ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧 PART 1 | PART 2

🫧 based of the song kill kill by lana del rey, written loosely around the lyrics

🫧 this is so long but i love it JOEL MILLER IS SO LANA WRITTEN

🫧 description: PORN W PLOT 💅🏽 smut smut smut mm smut! dom!joel, outbreak!joel, shower sex, brief size kink, its like rough sex but so loving, , slight religious mention (not really reader prays), no use of y/n, pet names like (darlin, doll, and princess), brief body worship (reader receiving), also fluffy, mentions of killing (a clicker interaction but its brief), mentions of guns and killing (joel kills clicker), reader is turned on by him holding his gun (also by blood splatter but no id say its more him😭)

One, two, make it fun

Don't trust anyone

One, two, make it fun

Don't trust anyone

🫧

Joel wasnt good with his words, he was better with actions. that is why with the position he has you in your own shower, with each praise, each touch, and each kiss was enough to get you soaked. more than the shower already was.

you were naked within seconds after the sentence left your mouth. he hoisted you up onto him and carried you both into the shower while making out like deprived animals. youre hands ran through his fluffy rough brown hair, slightly tugging as he bit your lip causing you to moan into him. you finally were both under the hot showerhead, feeling his cock grow harder underneath your ass making your stomach bubble in excitement.

both of your tongues colliding together, months of yearning being release. all the anger and sadness you had inside, like a clogged faucet you felt all your problems run through you and out.

Joel’s big rough hands being the only thing engulfing youre now wet body again, you didnt care your hair had just been damp from the shower you took this morning.

you could feel your bodies stick together even more “I aint goin no where, princess” Joel says, fixing his grip on your waist and hoisting you up a bit more since the water caused you slip a little. he aligned his thick tall cock with your pussy “I promise” he devoted himself before slamming himself inside your dripping pussy.

he turns you around so your back is pressed up against your shower-glass door “ah fuck!” you yelp out, the sensation of his cock stretching out your tense hole, god knew how long it had been since youve been touched like this. you couldnt help but indulge in your already cock-drunken thoughts and this shit just started.

your mouth was agape “mhm’ good girl, almost there” he praises, his cock overtaking your warm wet slick halfway before thrusting the rest of his cock into your pussy. you saw stars being overfilled to the brim, you swore his tip was hitting your pelvis if you looked down you wouldn’t be suprise to see the smallest bump reappearing and disappearing right below your stomach.

Joels thrusts started off slow easing you to his size “such a doll for me, pretty l’thang” he worships you, taking in how your tits are bouncing mushed up against his broad pecs “Joel! joel! joel! f-uckkk!-nngnh” you moan out loudly, squirming as you feel his cock reach every crevess and corner of the inside of your cunt. the feeling of himself being the only thing.

“lord have mercy-this fuckin pussy s’perfect…made fa’me” Joel mutters out the lewdest praises.

“needed ma’doll- needed your love” you swore you heard him whine out, hips slightly stuttering mid-fucking into you. Joel had been just as desperate and with the heated arguement you just had, pouring out how you really felt.

Joel felt so guilty, so busy doing everything for everyone else. he couldnt do this one thing for you, you just needed somebody, specifically you needed that somebody to him and his old ass finally comprehended it. the last thing joel wanted was to loose you, after doing everything hes done to protect you. he was going to make sure you were happy, the way you have been doing everyime he came back.

“Oh Joel! m’so close! im gon- cu-cum!” you couldnt even speak, you were babbling to be honest. your ears being engulfed by the sound of slapping from his balls slapping hard against you with the mixture of your juices and shower water. your nails continuing to claw at his back as you try your hardest not to slip out of his grasp with his deep thrusts.

“let it all out ma’girl, ma’good girl” he coos, kissing your neck all the way up to your lips as he pumps you and himself to orgasm.

you felt like pounds of weight had been released the second you came. Joel’s groans get uncontrollable as he approaches his release, unloading his warm cum. the feeling of it coating your walls, pumping softly into you before slipping out of you. youre mind was beyond hazy causing Joel to softly chuckle.

“gotta finish up our shower princess, dont’cha worry ill help you”

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

It was the next morning.

the feeling of him in your bed, the only man you dreamed of for so long being in your bed once again was finally here.

you felt whole again even with the world infected and feening for survival, you felt like everything was gonna be okay. you had hope and sometimes in this fucked up world, it is needed.

you had woken up before him but you didn’t mind if it meant you got to wake up to your brute softly snoring beside you, one hand extending to your pillow where it was entangled with your hair only minutes ago. youre mind for once felt peace, it was comforting yet eerie. you knew, you couldn’t get too comfortable.

the feeling made you sick slightly. you slowly ease out of the bed, careful to wake up Joel.

you brought out a soft pink cushion, planted it on the floor beside your bed. you proceeded to get on your knees ontop of the soft pink cushion.

you began to pray. you werent much of a religious person but you needed to believe in something. it was more of a meditation for you. you prayed for yourself. you prayed for Joel to be looked after no matter what along with Ellie, not wanting anything to happen to them. you prayed for anything you could think of, it was just something you needed to do.

you were so focused, you couldnt hear Joel slightly move and turn around “is everything okay doll?” he asks very groggily almost mumble like. you open your eyes “yes baby, i was just doing some praying.” you say softly, getting up and putting your cushion back onto ur bed before crawling back inside into his embrace.

“our first day of many, what ya wanna do?” joel asks, his hands completely taking over you as you lay in his embrace “lets cook breakfast? i have everything we would need, two month ago i went to town and traded money for plenty of food and seed packs” you explain with a soft grin “all you had to say was no hunting, doll” he smiled out, playing with your hair. you slap his chest softly chuckling.

after spending some more time indulging each other in bed, joel thought it would be best to get up before it gets too later into the day.

Joel offered to go out into the garden to pick the vegetables but he didn’t know where exactly you planted the vegetables, so you told him to just heat up the stove as you quickly went to pick out the vegetables.

you grabbed your sharp flip knife and made your way to your backdoor that led to your fairly sized yard. it was big or anything but you had space to grow a few crops, there was a small tree and a very worn down small shed.

as you made your way outside, you look around taking in the same old scenery but it felt different. the air you were breathing in even felt different.

you felt more alive.

you began to walk toward your vegtable crops which were only a couple steps away from your shed. as you got near, you see there was a hole in your fence. it wasnt big but definitely enough for something to crawl through.

you became more cautious, proceeding carefully and quietly. you began to cut each vegtable you needed. you felt yourself tense up for no reason, hearing a rustle behind you.

you snap your neck around, you put your basket down and crouching down a little lower and thats when you heard a loud click erupt.

‘oh fuck me’ you thought to yourself.

you began to tread lightly, becoming hyper aware as you crawl slowly and quietly to your barn. each slow and slight crawl, you could hear the clicker approach the gap in your fence.

it wouldnt crawl through as long as you didnt make a noise.

that was till you did, your foot accidentally snapped a branch in half.

you had no other choice but to book it and get into your shed before the clicker ran through that hole.

once you locked yourself in, you began to load the hunting rifle you kept in there until you heard a bang ring through outside.

you felt so much relief “princess! please tell me your okay!” Joel yells out worrisome “yes! im okay! everythings okay!” you reassure, putting the rifle away.

you unlocked the barn door and then beinf greeted by joels embrace. you both spoke in unison.

“there’s s a gap in my fence”

“there’s a gap in your fence”

you sigh deeply, yet the moment still being able to bring you a soft smile “it was not there 4 days ago, it mustve been done recently.” you explain to him, confused.

“lets get inside now and ill talk to Tommy about having the far-out land being checked out” Joel says, kissing your head and grabbing your basket of vegtables.

once you both were inside. Joel began to clean his gun, unloading the clip.

now it’s not completely appropriate to be gawking at him doing this but you couldnt help yourself.

you watched his big broad built arms handle the gun swiftly, like a baby and yet like it was nothing.

“like what ya see, pretty?” he teases you “hm…maybe” you tease back, eyeing him. there was slight blood splatter on his hands and a little on his thick coat over his long sleeve thermal.

even with blood splatter the man looked so fucking sexy. you could feel your panties sticking to your slick folds, like as if he knew what you were talking about. he began to walk closer, his gun in hand but lowered “if im wrong doll, go’head tell me” he says once hes closer to your body and face, he leans down. your face becoming inches away from his.

your breath hitched, the feeling of becoming smaller and smaller as his broad built always manages to over take all of you. he slyly reaches over next to you for his gun holster, putting his gun where it is supposed to be.

you cant help let out a helpless whimper at his tease “awe darlin’ is there somethin’ ya want?” Joel gets closer and closer, his gun out the way. you dont waste anytime in lip-locking with the man, you could say you almost jumped him.

both of your lips locking intensely, starved like as if he didn’t just stuff you full the night before.

“i think i’d rather fuck ma’ breakfast this mornin’, what’ya think doll?”

🫧

One, two, make it fun

Don't trust anyone

One, two, make it fun

Make it fun, make it fun

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yeuheart · 1 year

Text

Eleventh Hour

Itoshi Sae

The steady slow drops of water coming from the faucet starts to make him even more annoyed since you had walked out the door just a moment ago, the reason being from the heated argument you both had. It was stupid or rather he describes it as "immature", and it might be seeing as it’s about the same issue for the third time this month. it wasn’t like you both weren’t doing what you could to fix it, one was just going back to old habits by accident. He turns his head to look at the clock on the stove which reads an admittedly late hour, one that most would refuse to be outside without the comfort of another. He’s starting to worry about you being outside even if it’s only been a minute that passed. Not willing to drown in possibilities, he grabs a few things and heads out to look for you.

As he came out of the building he saw you standing there in front of the road trying to calm yourself down. But before he could accomplish what he wanted yet another albeit small argument erupted making you run across the street out of impulse. He noticed the car coming towards you at abnormal speeds, and he knew he wouldn’t reach you in time but he attempted to do so anyway in hopes there would be the slightest chance something would happen. But before he could reach you the car beat him to it, making him flinch as he closed his eyes. He waited a few seconds before opening them slowly and walked towards the stopped car and saw your body that had just stopped rolling, he ran towards you and hoisted you up in his arms not caring about the blood beginning to soak through his clothes and stain his hands. A string of apologies and promises fell from his mouth as heavy tears started forming that he couldn’t stop. A sudden ringing in his ears started to form as he closed his eyes only to open them and find you staring at him unwounded in his arms asking if he was okay, everything was white besides the both of you being in color. He was confused and terrified after having seen your badly wounded body but he decided that this feels better than seeing that as he answers your question and continues to indulge you. Before he could continue he could hear a faint drop of water falling from somewhere as he looks around and it was only then when he blinks that he was back to reality, it was blurry but he could see one of the EMTs trying to hoist him up as a drop of water falls in his mouth at the same time the faucet drips its last drop until it stops. He only looks to the side noticing the other EMTs putting you in the ambulance with one of them running up to the one hoisting him up.

Nagi Seishiro

He’s frustrated as he tries desperately to make his way through the halls of the hospital but every time he thinks he’s found the correct room it ends up being off a number. It feels like a maze at this point, one that he can’t escape. He’s getting more anxious by the second because of how he can’t find the room you’re in, he’s practically fidgeting with the buttons on his phone as he walks.

Just as he passes some rooms he starts to feel a headache coming in but he pays no mind to it only wanting to be by your side. But it starts to get excessive to the point he has to stop and hold his head. He’s stopped in front of an occupied room as he scrunches his face up in discomfort, but he’s suddenly bumped into as he opens his eyes. The person who bumped into him was a doctor who was just about to rush into the room in front of him, he apologizes just as he notices a few doctors running into the room, the long beep sound making its presence louder as he looks inside and notices a familiar face, it’s you. He runs into the room pushing the doctors away as tears fill his eyes, making it to your bed he kneels holding your hand as it becomes soaked in his tears. He's been told countless times to get out of the room by the doctors and one even manages to physically push him out as they lock the door, he's left crying and banging on the door begging them to open it for him. He's only then let in when the doctors have seemingly failed to bring you back. Passer bys can only hear the choked sobs coming from him as he starts to argue with the doctors to keep trying to bring you back.

Hiori Yo

The hospital room is quiet aside from the anchored beeping of the monitor that reads your EKG. He reeks of blood, not his but yours, it was all from putting pressure on your wound. This only happened because of an accidental misfire of a gun that was supposed to hit somebody else but the guy was intoxicated and wasn’t able to fire correctly and ended up shooting you instead. If only he had held a conversation with you for a minute or two more before parting ways then things would have had a different outcome. But it’s too late as now you’re tied up in white that hurts his brain as time goes on.

He’s holding your left hand as if pleading with your heart to not give up just yet, the smell of dried blood from his hands transferring to yours as he tries to stabilize his trembling hands with yours. He closes his eyes in an attempt to wake up from this dream he thinks he’s in but before he can open his eyes in disappointment a long-paced beep sound beats him to it, the hand he’s holding now starting to fall limp. He tries to fight back tears that threaten to spill from his cyan eyes but fails to do so as he presses the call button on the remote next to him alerting the nurse of your death. The next thing he knew the room was filled with doctors and nurses he didn't care to guess their specialties only softly begging them to bring you back as he was led out of the room by a nurse, she tells them that they'll do whatever it takes. But 20 minutes that seemed like hours to him have ended and then he's allowed back into the room as the doctors explain to him that they did everything they could, but before another could speak he asks them to leave you two to which the doctors silently leave the room without many words. He's then left there as he takes in your image for the last time before he says goodbye.

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superblysubpar · 11 months

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taylor, light of my life, woman of my dreams.

~ For your smut requests, via a previous conversation we both had. Your prompt is pathetic steve apologizing. maybe he’s on his knees, maybe he’s following you around a party, or you’re giving him the cold shoulder in your shared apartment. I don’t know, whatever you choose we both know we just wanna hear him say “Baby, baby, come on don’t be mad. I’m sorry.”

the song: Best Sex Ever by Vedo

warnings: some comparison to Nancy fucking Wheeler.

The red glow of the alarm clock mocks your wide awake state with numbers that tell you it’s far too late, or well early, to still be awake. You can hear the fridge hum a room over, the drip in the faucet loud enough to mix with the sheets shifting against skin - letting you know Steve is still awake too.

Refusing to turn and face him, you stare at the open closet door, at the dress on the ground in a crumpled heap that never got a chance to leave the house. There was a lot said, but the only thing that is crystal clear is that you’ll never be Nancy fucking Wheeler.

Before you could leave, Steve’s palm had pressed to the wood front door over your shoulder, his forehead against your spine as he squeezed at your hip, thumb brushing back and forth under your shirt and begged you to stay, “Please. Don’t go. Let’s…”

You spun around, raised eyebrows and refused to let the sight of his glassy eyes or pink cheeks deter you from being hurt.

Steve blew out his breath, fingers cradling your jaw, “Let’s talk, fuck, let’s fight. Yell at me, I can take it. Just don’t go.”

So you yelled.

Well, you tried to, mainly you just cried. You told him over and over again to just put you out of your misery, to go be with her. Steve remained adamant that would never happen, that Nancy Wheeler was nothing to him anymore - only for you to only throw back that you couldn’t even leave for dinner without being compared to her.

Eventually the tears stopped and so did the words. Steve suggested going to bed, whispering once more that he liked that you weren’t Nancy, he loved that you were different from her, and that he was sorry.

Now he stares at your back, he watches the rise and fall of your shoulders with each breath, he knows you’re still awake. He can still smell the new perfume on your skin, the crumpled dress and his suit jacket on the floor just visible over your shoulder and he sighs. He’s such a fucking idiot.

His fingers reach towards your hip hesitantly, the pads brushing the little slip of skin between the big t-shirt and boxers that you stole from him years ago. Your body stills, but he lets his fingers brush back and forth, as he scoots closer to you. He leaves space between your bodies, fingers venturing to your arm and running them up and down as he speaks into your shoulder.

“Are we still fighting?”

When he’s met with silence, his chest aches and he squeezes his eyes closed.

“I’m an idiot, okay? I didn’t even think about how…I just…I don’t know, okay? I don’t know how to fix it, but I’ll do it. But baby,” he laces his fingers with yours against the mattress, kissing your shoulder and your resolve starts to melt, “Baby. Come on, don’t be mad at me. Please.”

His nose nuzzles into your shoulder, hand engulfing yours and you know he didn’t mean to hurt you and you’ve said all there is to say. If Steve is still here, then he’s still here for a reason.

“I’m not mad.”

You roll your eyes at the feel of his smile against your shoulder as he asks, “No?”

“Don’t get excited,” you huff, but your body scoots back against his warmth and he has to bite his smile back when you continue, “You have a lot of making up to do, buddy.”

Steve’s fingers squeeze yours as he drags his nose over your shoulder to your neck. He presses a soft kiss to the skin there before whispering, “Well, good thing I have a whole plan then.”

Lips wet and breath warm as his kisses roam over your neck, up and down as you try to talk, voice breathy and making him smile against your skin as you question, “A plan, huh?”

He hums, nose brushing over your ear, “Mhm, first step, some kissing.” He breathes over a spot on your neck that has your fingers grabbing at the sheets, arching against him as his hand rubs up your arm.

Your lip tugs between your teeth, fighting a moan as his teeth graze over the same spot, sucking a bruise into your skin as his hand continues its journey over your body, resting on your hip. Steve’s breath is shallow as he releases his lips from your neck, hands tugging you back against him. “Step two,” his fingers skim over the band of the boxers, slipping under and moving lower when he feels how wet you already are for him and he falters “Shit, uh, I-”.

Steve’s eyelids flutter, his swallow too loud in the quiet room as you whine, “Steve. Step two?”

His middle finger slides between your folds, coated in slick, back up and circling your clit and your fingers tangle the sheet between them further. Steve collects himself, making sure not to grind against your ass that pushes back against his dick harder - this is about you.

"Right, step two," he pulls his hand from your pussy, smiling against your jaw at the whine it causes and he shushes you softly, tugging on your clothes and trying to sound stern but he laughs through the words, "We gotta get all this shit off - patience baby."

Your body shimmies as Steve pulls his boxers and your underwear down your legs a little roughly, frantic with his movements. You kick them off of your ankles and begin to roll to face him. Steve's hand stops your knee, fingers running up your thigh and tapping lightly, voice growing rough and needy as he whispers into your ear, "Step three, open up wider for me, honey."

The shiver that runs down your spine involuntary when Steve whispers, "Good girl," as you hitch your leg higher, resting against his thigh. Steve's fingers continue to move up your skin, slipping easily back between your lips. You don't need to be worked up, to get ready for him, it's clear you already are. Embarrassingly wet if it weren't for Steve's own neediness and desperation clear in his actions and tone.

He slips a finger inside of you, pushing easily into your entrance and curling into the spot that has you gasping. Steve mouths at your neck, the soft fabric of his sweats doing nothing to hide his hard length or how it twitches against your ass when you beg him for more.

A second finger inside of you without hesitation, they glide in and out effortlessly, his fingers hitting the same spot in a building rhythm that has your eyelids fluttering and your body heating up. Steve's lips press kiss after kiss into your neck, a drag of his teeth, nips to your skin soothed by his tongue. His thumb finally pays attention to your clit, soft circles as he grinds against you from behind, unable to help himself when you make noises like that.

Your eyelids flutter, fingers wrapping around his wrist and holding him tighter against you as you shamelessly roll your hips down on his fingers. Your neck extends for him, back arching as your walls flutter around his fingers. You're so wet, leg digging into his as you whimper his name.

Steve gasps against your neck, "Come on baby, relax. Give me one, please?"

Your walls tighten, the fingers wrapped around his wrist gripping harder as you release around him, somehow getting wetter as the coil in your stomach burns hotter, waves of your orgasm rippling through you. While you come down, Steve's careful to lay you on your back, to kiss up your stomach, your sides. Lips ghosting over your ribs and chest as he removes your shirt. Mouth sucking and licking at your skin as he pushes out of his own pants and lays above you.

He taps at your thigh, pushing your legs wider as he kisses your jaw, your cheeks, and finally your lips. It's much sweeter than any kiss you've shared, his thumb brushing over your cheek, fingers curled under your chin as yours tangle in his hair. Steve rests above you, coarse chest hair rubbing against your skin as you squirm underneath him, his cock gliding between your folds as your hips roll and he licks at your bottom lip before sucking. Steve moans into your open mouth, the sweet apology kiss turning desperate and dirty as your legs wrap around his waist, coating him in more slick as your tongues meet. Hair pulled a little meanly, his teeth on your lip a little harder and you're gasping into each other's mouths.

Steve's breathless, blinking down at you with hooded eyes, rosy cheeks and swollen lips. Nudging his nose into your cheek as he rasps, "Step 5, we have the best sex anyone's ever had."

You laugh, cradling his face and pressing your forehead to his as he slides inside of you easier than he ever has. Breathlessly asking, "Yeah?"

Steve nods, noses bumping and lips hovering over yours as you both adjust to the feeling of him inside of you, "Yeah."

Lips connecting again as he begins to thrust slowly. Steve's hands roam down your sides carefully and thoughtfully, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. His hips roll against yours as his fingers squeeze your waist. You sigh, deepening the kiss as your thumbs swipe over his cheeks, legs wrapping around him tighter. Each thrust slow and meaningful as his mouth parts over yours, languid yet sure in each pass.

Your arms wrap around his neck, back arching as his warm palms flatten against your spine when they envelope you. You're interlocked, bodies connected and touching everywhere they can.

Steve stops kissing you, whispering your name as his hips still. He waits until your eyes flutter open to speak. The honey in his melting and turning gold as the navy sky outside the window starts to break and turn a soft blue.

"I'm yours, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

Your smile is warm, and you kiss his bottom lip, speaking into the corner of his mouth as you kiss over his jaw, "I know."

He captures your lips again, picking up his thrusts once more, a hand grazing up your spine till it's cradling the back of your neck and tilting you for him, kissing you even deeper as he pushes inside you in the same way, hitting a spot he never has before.

You're happy you're not Nancy Wheeler and that you never will be when Steve gasps your name over and over again, making it up to you and then some for hours.

#steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington drabble #stranger things fanfic #superbly subpar steve smut #superbly subpar steve angst

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kruegerslov3r · 6 months

Text

my simon riley headcanon is that if he wasn’t a military man HE WOULD DEFINITELY BE A MECHANIC!!! i have a feeling this man is good with his hands! i’ve seen posts that he can fix everything in the world and YES I AGREE 👍.

imagine simon trying to fix a faucet that drips god knows how long. sweat drips from his forehead, his muscular hands tense up, trying to tighten the nut.

or imagine simon replacing the brake pad !!!!! MY FANTASY VISITED MARS.

generally simon and cars = heartbeats 100 times per second (driving doesn't count)

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost imagine #ghost x reader #ghost x you

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hanasnx · 8 months

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Kinktober: House of Amateurs - S1E3

MINORS DNI 18+

KRAYT HOUSE M.LIST | NAVI | INBOX | @KRAYTHOUSE

“We should try to peek on him.” Your co-star— Sanna’s words make your jaw drop. Rushing to her own defense, she interjects you as if you’re about to verbally contradict her. “It’s not like he’d mind!”

“I can’t believe you’d say that!” you scold, but her suggestion eats away at your guard. He might not mind, but he’s unpredictable. Regardless if it’s her idea, you’d be an accomplice.

“Well, maybe I’ll get lucky. I’m going.” she insists, and your mouth remains agape, taking offense in being abandoned. You’re quick to clamber up to follow after her.

“Wait for me!” You chase her, but she increases her pace. Grins of thrill appear on both of your faces, yet it’s unclear who’s mirroring the other.

The sound of the shower running coming into earshot quiets the both of you, hushing each other so as to not raise suspicion. You approach the door, and her hands fix on your shoulders as she leans onto your back. As carefully as you’re allowed, you inch open the door, and the weight increases behind you. Playfully, you shove her back so you can creep inside.

You reach the bathroom counter before his voice cuts you off. “What do you girls think you’re doing?” Frozen where you stand, you glance between the drawn shower curtain and Sanna.

“Nothing,” you reply innocently.

“We’re sorry, we didn’t know you were in here, daddy.” she finally speaks up.

“We thought it was one of the other girls.” you’re hasty to add, as if more story will cover up the shame you both feel for being caught embarrassingly fast. It’d be mortifying to confess that you were brought here on the basis of coercing him into fucking the two of you.

“Who?” One simple question. His tone conveys his lack of actual curiosity, and all the condescension of a man confident in his inference. You scramble for a name, any name. Your silence is answer enough, and you hear him scoff. “Well, since you’re here, come help me with this.” Exchanging a look among yourselves, you border the tub, not before discarding your clothes onto the bathroom floor. It’s a risk you’re willing to take if he didn’t mean to invite the two of you inside.

She goes in first, and you trail after. Hot water accumulated in a thin layer at the bottom greets the soles of your feet pleasantly. Standing herculean and picturesque under the faucet, Anakin’s features come into view. How the stream of water breaks at the back of his neck to flow down his relaxed form, how he guides Sanna into him to steal a greeting kiss from her obedient lips, how his tepid hair is curled from the humidity and the tips are heavy and dripping. Even if he’s content, you notice how his brows pinch together constantly, as if nothing truly pleases him, and he’s always dissatisfied over everything put in front of him. A judgmental countenance you fantasize about reversing. As he meets your gaze, you’re already magnetized to him, giving him a greeting kiss of your own as his strong arm wraps around your torso to express his approval for your initiative.

The warmth of another presence approaches, and he directs her into your side, jamming you together as she joins in the kiss. Three pairs of lips melding together tentatively as the heat of the water transfers between bodies during the close proximity. The two of you wrap your arms up around his neck loosely, overlapping one another. He introduces tongue, a soft graze enough to shift the energy, both his limbs wound around the two of you, arching you two into him. The outline of how he hardens apparent against your lower stomach. There’s a desperation to him, as plain as kissing is, Anakin Skywalker enjoys it as a three-way. He hums, deep in his throat, reverberating you. Tongues sliding against one another is enough to make him stoop to grab a handful of ass from both you and her. As if you read her mind, you both nip his lower lip at the same time, earning a growl.

He dips his head between you, brushing his open-mouthed kisses onto your shoulder, and then hers. “Are you gonna help me with this?” he murmurs, repeating his request from earlier. His hands on each of your asses rocking you both into him, seeking out friction through humping his length onto the squished space of your abdomens. As soon as your hand grasps his hard-on, you brush against hers, and you chuckle in spite of yourself. Holding hands over a man’s erection, how romantic. A sharp exhale of breath leaves him, and you support his weight as he relaxes into your touch. How you move in tandem with each other in order to undulate against the sensitive skin of his cock as him rolling his hips into it, fucking into the space you created together.

Your free hand winds around him, nails digging into the skin of his wide back, and a whine spills from his agape mouth, resting his forehead against her shoulder.

He straightens to his full height, and bites down on his lower lip as he continues to buck into the team-effort handjob, aiding you two in jacking himself off. From the force of his movements and his sheer strength, his hands on you rock your entire bodies along with him, and construct a necessity for counterbalance. It doesn’t take him much longer to force the two of you on your knees to work together to finish the job using only your mouths.

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coldresolve · 9 months

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Moneymakers, pt.xxxv // Aftermath of Nervous

Previous / AO3 / Wattpad / Masterlist / Next

It’s like nothing he’s ever heard before. Brainless. Unfiltered. Like the guy’s voice splinters, sending ice cold shards through the room. Crawling down his spine, an expected form of arousal creeping its way through a body still sore from running. His elbow aches to the bone. The pool of blood between Davin’s feet steadily expands.

Renee swears that he finds a deep satisfaction in what he sees, but there’s something else, something new. Something he doesn’t entirely understand, mixed as it is with that twitch in his hands, the mark of his desire.

He finds himself struggling with the urge to take a step backwards. Imagines crossing the threshold between kitchen and hallway, retreating into his room, and closing the door behind him.

Instead his eyes are fixed on the arch of Conrad’s back, the strain of his shoulders. The way the ropes dig into his wrists so hard, his hands turn red and swell from a lack of circulation.

That final cut, and Conrad’s near-silent reaction, is what ultimately makes Renee shudder.

In the silence that follows, walls echoing with the memory of violence, Renee becomes mindful of his racing heart, the rush in his ears, contrasted breathing that comes so slow, it’s making him lightheaded. He blinks.

“… holy shit.”

Davin casts him a quick glance, calmly stepping back from the table. His hands drip red at his sides, the dark burgundy of deoxygenated blood interspersed with streaks of a more vibrant vermilion. He cocks his head to the side as he takes a closer look at Conrad’s face. The crease at the corner of his mouth is ambiguous – might be satisfaction, might be dissatisfaction. Nothing else in his expression betrays his state of mind. Eventually, he walks over to the sink and starts the faucet. There’s a soft clank of metal against metal as the scalpel is discarded, and Davin begins to wash his hands.

The wound gapes a good two inches, but so much blood is pooled within it, it’s impossible to tell how deep it goes. Tiny ripples on the surface betray a racing heartbeat. Conrad, otherwise completely limp at this point, occasionally twitches a little, breaths whistling in his throat. Curly hair, drenched in sweat, sticks with a sheen to his skin. Tear-streaked eyes, half-open but unseeing, stare motionless toward the table. He looks far gone.

Renee’s mouth is dry.

Davin returns, hands clean, and begins tending to Conrad, as if something in this carefully balanced dynamic didn’t just dramatically shift. The ropes are loosened. A palm on the forehead, another on the neck, thumb digging into the flesh over the jugular; Conrad doesn’t stir. A syringe is produced from Davin’s medicinal bag, as well as a small vial. He flicks the cap off with his thumb, retracts the plunger to a desired dose, injects air through the vial’s lid, and lets the surplus pressure in the glass fill the syringe with a clear liquid. Casual work. Whatever Davin injects Conrad with, it steadily evens out his breathing, and his eyes drift all the way closed, and the twitching eventually stops.

Despite the broken window, the coldness of the room, the air feels stifled. That tangy, metallic smell that bites with every breath. Renee waits until Davin has gathered his usual stitching kit, the packs of threaded needles, the saline solution, the disposable rags, before he clears his throat. “Do you need me for anything?”

Davin looks up at him. Keeps his gaze for just a moment too long, in that damned curious, contemplative way. “We’ve got quite a few stitches to get through,” he mutters. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt with an extra set of hands.”

Renee lets out an awkward laugh, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t know how to…”

“It’s not complicated,” Davin says.

Renee laughs again, but it falters the moment he sees the hint of amusement tugging at the corner of Davin’s lips. He shifts his weight, eyes flickering to the gaping wound. “Are you serious?”

Raising a brow, Davin picks a latex glove out of a carton full of them. The soft snap of the elastic material as he pulls it on. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of getting your hands dirty.”

Renee lets out a snort. “I’m not.”

Davin cocks his head to the side. “What’s the problem, then?”

A dry chuckle. The shrug of a shoulder. “Nothing. Sure, whatever.”

Nodding, Davin pulls another glove for himself, and then hands the carton to Renee with a casual smile. It’s only when he turns away that Renee lets himself grit his teeth, swallowing down that strange, revolting feeling.

The first towel Davin sticks into Conrad’s thigh is completely soaked through, dripping, when it resurfaces. The next stains at a slower pace. Davin unscrews the lid of the saline solution, and methodically cleans the wound and the skin immediately surrounding it, pouring and dabbing away, little by little.

Renee slowly walks closer as he pulls the latex gloves on. Five cloths in, with no blood to obscure the view, the sheer depth of the wound is almost enough to make him suck in a breath between his teeth. The gorge must reach halfway through the leg. The yellow-ish bubbly tissue directly under the skin, the neat separation between that and darker flesh. At the bottom of the cut, little bands of something, running from one side to the other. One looks like a reddish purple cord, and it pulses faintly, the color seems to shift in a rhythm. Other bands are lighter, look almost frayed. None are wider than a centimeter.

It looks fake, in a way Renee can’t entirely explain. Like it’s simultaneously there and not there. His gaze flickers briefly to Conrad’s face. Then down to his own arms, skin dotted. Hair raised.

The crinkling of plastic by his side makes his attention snap back up. Davin, opening one of the packets of threaded needles, is watching him, expression unreadable. “We do a row of buried stitches,” he says. “This thread’s gonna dissolve after a few weeks.”

Renee nods a little.

Davin picks up a pair of pliers, carefully positioning the bottom of the curved needle in its grip. “You hold the needle like this,” he says. “You keep a towel in your other hand. When you’re wiping off blood, don’t drag the towel in the wound, that’s just gonna deposit fibers and raise the risk of infection. Dab it instead.”

“Alright.”

Davin sniffs, motioning for Renee to follow as he bends over the wound. “You start from the bottom, like this,” he mutters, driving the needle into flesh without further hesitation, “and curve up right before you hit the junction between… see the difference in layers there?”

“Yeah.”

“The other side, you start parallel to the exit of the last stitch, going down. Don’t worry about pulling the tissue around a bit to make room for it... See how the leading and trailing part of the thread are both at the bottom now? Give it two inches when you cut it, pick up another set of pliers… you wrap it around like this, three times, lead the other one through, tighten… keep some tension on it. Another regular knot to keep it in place, that’ll hold just fine. See?”

“Yeah.”

Davin straightens up, shooting him a look. “Need me to show you again?”

“Uh,” Renee says. “I think I got it.”

With a smirk, Davin hands him the pliers, the threaded needle. The touch is muted under the gloves, but the pliers are still cold enough to discern. Renee catches himself before his eyes can flicker to Conrad’s face again, as he positions himself like Davin did. Feels the other’s keen eyes on his back, his hands. Takes a subdued breath, suppressing urge to stall, and pushes the needle sideways from the bottom of the gorge.

It glides through with little to no resistance, but Renee can still feel that stringy, raw texture of it, little pinpricks of muscle fibers giving way. He feels the aggressive heat of Conrad’s flesh on the back of his hands. The needle does most of the work steering itself back out of the curve, not directly above where he started, but close enough. The other side is harder to get right. He starts too low and has to retract the needle, and then the wound starts seeping blood, not a lot, but enough to obscure the view. He dabs it away, tries again, gets it somewhat right, more blood, he dabs it away. Wonders why his hands feel so difficult to control. Knotting the line isn’t easy, the thread slips out of the grip of the pliers unless you hold it a certain way. Two sides are drawn together as the thread is tightened. How do wounds like this even heal? You’re just slapping meat together, that’s all you’re doing.

There’s a sense in him, once he has cut away the excess of the knot. Relief? Disgust?

“Could’ve been worse,” Davin says, giving him a short nod. He sifts through packets of thread, pulls one out. The needle looks different than the one Renee is using, slightly thicker, and the curve isn’t as sharp. “Thirty more of those, and I’ll let you fuck off.”

Renee nods. Clears his throat. “Sorry for acting weird,” he mutters before he can stop himself, “I just didn’t expect…”

Finessing the plastic cover of the packet, Davin looks up, but doesn’t speak. Instead he waits, patiently, for Renee to continue.

There’s a pause. A shrug. “I took some shit yesterday. I’m still kinda… y’know.” Renee points to his temple, chuckling.

Davin nods. “Got it.”

Renee swallows. Eyes flickering between points in the wall. His emotions seem to flash in his head from microsecond to microsecond, too quickly to differentiate. The anger is there, as it always is, but it’s directionless, confused. Although he’s aware of Davin’s eyes on him, he’s slow to position the needle back in the pliers, slow to lean back over the wound.

Five stitches in, Davin gently pushes him slightly to the side and begins suturing the surface of Conrad’s thigh back together, his hands above Renee’s. Occasionally tells Renee to redo whatever stitches he deems to be too sloppy. Something about being shoulder to shoulder with the guy is unnerving. They both have to occupy a tight space to work, arms rubbing up against each other. It’s like a cursed rendition of the scene from Ghost, except despite Davin’s fucking reptilian nature, he actually gives off body heat.

The faster Renee can get this over with, the faster he can get blasted out of his mind, forget about everything.

Strangely enough, that’s the thought that finally makes him feel normal enough to push through apprehension. Needle in, needle out, cut the thread, tighten the knot, rinse and repeat. It’s not about Conrad, it’s about dead meat. You get used to the smell of blood; it starts to feel as though it was always there. What just happened? Nothing, fuck it. You can get high, you can wipe the slate clean. Rinse and repeat.

“I just want you to see me as human.”

Fuck you.

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#writing #moneymakers #davin #renee #good to be back :)

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