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postmortemnivis · 2 months

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the ghosts of the past were the only thing that truly scared the ghost, the man who if someone'd seen him walking towards them from across the street at night, they would've started calling the first helpline number available and saying their prayers, even if they weren't believers.

in truth, ghost wasn't a troubled man, he barely was what was left of one, simon.

ghost wasn't a troubled man, but he was all that was left of one. every time the thick balaclava slipped on simons face, he'd turn off the few emotions that were still left in his body, mind running on autopilot as he coldly shut off his scarred heart. simon needed that, both a relief and a way to turn everything off, he needed to know it wasnt him killing people. it made his heart rest better to know it was ghost, not simon.

simon, who'd gone through hell and back, watching his friends, honourable soldiers, fall by the hand of a simple yet fatal mistake.

simon, whose family was slaughtered and he felt so helpless and unworthy, because why join the military and train to fight when he couldn't even protect his three years old nephew?

feeling so low he could barely keep his brown eyes open, he didn't think he was a man who deserved to live. why, when nobody was there to live with him? sure, johnny and kyle could try to cheer him up and distract him as much as they wanted, but they couldn't follow simon to his flat by the railways, in front of the man united stadium. price regularly called him: every other day to check up on him, ask him if he fancied a pint. simon rarely said yes, but he was grateful price didn't forget about him the moment they left base, it made him feel like he was, after all, someone. more than once even kyle booked a cheap hotel room near simon's place so he could spend time with him. forcing him to go outside and meet up with him and price. sometimes even johnny could make it, hopping on the first train from glasgow to see his lieutenant.

simon studied the pub. ironically, kyle always decided to drag him to the pub where simon spent his late teens with his mates from the time. that was, of course, before simon turned eighteen, and without speaking a word to anyone, left to join the military a week after his birthday. when he'd first come back, almost a year later, all his friends had either moved out of manchester or thought he'd moved out too, cutting off contacts. it was a shock for the few ones left to see his dog tags underneath his shirt when he first showed up again.

it was meaningless.

he was meaningless. flesh on bone, a heart pumping his veins full of life without him being able to stop it. schopenhaueresque, really.

simons complete view of life was of suffocating suffering, a meaningless amount of time he had to spend on this earth for what he used to believe was for a greater good. there was not such a thing, simon was sure of it now, a bottle of beer in his left hand as his right one brought his cigarette to his chapped, pale lips. he looked down the river irwin, the city noise muffled out by the quiet and calm chatter of people walking past him. he felt almost envious. they had someone to talk to.

but he'd never been the loquacious type either, tommy always did the talking, simon usually dragging both of their arses out of the messes tommy brought them in. that's how it worked, their dynamic. his brother talked, too much sometimes, even for him, and he made sure nothing happened, as easy as that. simon was the one who stepped in when things got bad, in any situation: outside of the pub with a drunk man that tommy'd pissed off with his witty remarks, older boys at school when they were children, or at home, with their father. needless to say, simon got the most of the beatings, scars adorning the skin of his back even before stepping on the field. the cigarette burns on his arms and legs itched every time he'd think too much about it.

ever since finding his brothers corpse on the stairs of his own home, front door unlocked, his wife and son dead on the master bedroom's bed, he'd been craving what it felt like to love someone again. he craved loving someone, craved the feeling of something so strong it would change every fiber of his being, that would alter the chemistry of his brain. it was almost visceral, the need he had to satisfy. he despised everything good there was in life, anything that should bring happiness bothered him, but he was still a human being, and being human meant longing for someone else, another half. yearning.

throwing the cigarette butt in the river, he turned around, not ready to be home in less than fifteen minutes. the feeling of getting swallowed in the darkness and silence of his own home made him almost paranoid, he was driving himself crazy. simon would have chosen to throw himself in the river if given the choice to pick between that and going home, but the early rays of the dawn started blinding him, and the shadows under his eyes were becoming darker by the second. maybe he'd take a longer route.

simons restless nights became quickly part of his life, following him everywhere around the globe during the years. he found in the lack of sleep a way to control his life, he desperately needed control. when all was to shambles, control was all he needed. sleep, exercise, food, sex, attitude and performance were things he could control, and the less he let himself slip into, the more in control his tired body felt.

"five hours of bad sleep every two days won't keep you alive." price'd told him, and simon groaned.

"good then."

"we need you alive, simon."

"ya need a soldier, not me."

"we need you, simon." price insisted, shaking his head. "you're a good man, we need you."

"i'm not a good man."

until his seventh year of mourning, simon never thought he would find peace of mind, but he found it coming along with spring's sweet scented flowers and chilly breezes; you.

#troubled men association #simon riley #simon and ghost are two diff people #survivors guilt #simon ghost riley #give him a hug #postmortemnivis #simon riley x reader #troubled man #give him to me #simon riley x you #hug my man #i live for a man like that

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wispscribbles · 4 months

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I love your ghost design. I wanna squeeze him :⁠^⁠)

If no hug then why hug-shaped???

#thank youuuu! squeeze that mentally unstable adult man! he needs it!#ask #anon ask #ghostsoap #soapghost #my art #cod fanart #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap x ghost #doodle #fav hc about ghost is that he is so incredibly touch starved and everyone just assumes he hates touch #but Soap is so touchy he keeps forgetting not to hug and pat and lean on Ghost #and each time Ghost is like ‘what is happening to me?? why do I want to melt rn??? I think I’m in love???’#outwardly he is a stone wall as usual #until Soap actually remembers to give Ghost space bc he thinks that’s what he wants #and Ghost has to finally be the one to reach out and ask for touch #and Soap is the happiest camper #from then on they are stuck together with glue #this all has nothing to do with your ask I’m sorry #I’ve got ghoap on the brain I can’t help it #complete side note: I have many asks in my inbox and I’m so happy y’all write!! just pls bear with me bc I am very slow to respond

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shirmirart · 1 month

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kissing and hope they caught us...

#some sort of AU where they were already hooking up at the wedding #and they don't really close the door all the way through cause. firstprince core yknow.#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb fanart #rwrb movie #alex claremont diaz #acd #henry fox #prince henry of wales #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex and henry #art #fanart #my art #drawing #illustration #the hug is referenced on charles dana gibson's 'man and woman kissing'

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riense · 7 months

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Heavily inspired by THIS post by @ceo-of-sloppy-men

#i’m so unwell #thinking about comforting this man 24/7 #he deserves the tightest hugs #❤️❤️❤️#bg3 zevlor #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #zevlor #my art #fanart

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tantamounttoflirtation · 11 months

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I keep forgetting how funny the whole "did you just smell me" scene is until I watch it again. Its dead fucking silent and Hannibal comes up behind Will, looks him up and down, and slowly and hesitantly leans in to smell him like he's a glass of fine wine. And then he looks away all awkward when he's caught. Like bro what did you expect to happen???

#h talks #I giggle every time #hes a normal guy who does normal things . so normal #he doesn't know how to act around his crush #I feel like there had to have been a subtler way for him to do that #like idk take Will's coat and smell it when he's not looking. or offer the man a damn hug #anyways hes so silly #nbc hannibal #Hannigram #Hannibal #me when I lean in to sniff my boybestfriend

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tubbytarchia · 5 months

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How was I possibly supposed to resist after Doc tweeted all THAT

#You are not immune to goat hugs. Puny little man or big weredog guy. Doc won't give a crap #rendoc #rendog #renthedog #docm77 #hermitblr #hermitshipping #and how can I possibly resist drawing not one but TWO cryptid monster men? I cant #my werewolf ren design might be the biggest dude in my traffic roster excluding Gem but Doc will still pick him up like the dog he is #tubby art

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lazylittledragon · 4 months

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I NEED TO KNOW WHAT MAMA DEKARIOS'S REACTION WAS WHEN SHE FOUND OUT CYRA WAS PREGNANT :000000 her boy is about to be a dad i think she would lose her entire shit

I THINK YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #galemance #dadkarios #morena dekarios #this one is written in my notes as ‘she kisses gale’s entire face then hugs cyra so hard she nearly snaps her in half’#i think. she is a very put together sophisticated woman #but she also raised a man who threatens to blow himself up at the slightest inconvenience #so she’s also a bit. explosive #and also she’s still recovering from the ‘i fucked and pissed off a goddess’ conversation so she’s probably thrilled #cyra and morena on their way to the stormshore tabernacle to fuck her up #also she absolutely digs out all of gale’s tiny socks for them

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egophiliac · 1 year

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oh no, I love them

(super quick doodles done between other stuff, there will be better things later I promise :')

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #spoilers spoilers spoilers #me when the shroudparents walk in: what. why. what is this.#me thirty seconds late: never mind they are AMAZING #i mean yeah idia kind of offhandedly mentioned it way back when #in episode 6 when he was like 'my parents have to wear special equipment to deal with the debilitating effects of the curse'#'and to hide their identities as a french electronic synth-pop duo' I GUESS #no no it's okay. mrs shroud you are kind of insane and i love you #GROUP HUG EVERYBODY!!!!!#mr shroud you put up with a lot but somebody's gotta remember to do the paperwork #daft punk bert and ernie is the best possible dynamic for them #and THEY LOVE THEIR ROBOT SON #i'm so happy for ortho #(hovering around the subject of dreamworld ortho. ...we'll get to that)#man though now that i know what they're like #when idia busted in to show them how he built himself a replacement brother #mrs shroud was probably just like 'this is exactly what i would have done. let mama give you some pointers on joint mechanics'#i know i'm in the minority on genuinely unironically loving overblot idia #(YES he's weird but it's a weird i'm into!)#i am DELIGHTED by the design parallels. he looks like his dad!#but with his mom's ears!#ah it's so good

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indecisitivity · 3 months

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jon sims is ace bc jonny sims does not understand the 'fuckable monster' trope but didn't want that to happen to jon so he just decided to circumvent it entirely by making jon ace send tweet

#so my dash did a thing #also #i know this argument has more holes than the man needles hugged #that's because it's a joke #i have no idea why jonny sims made jon ace #but i'm thankful every day that he did #tmagp #the magnus protocol #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims

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queerxqueen · 7 months

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