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#human resources
pythiaswine · 11 months
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SO out of pocket how Human Resources swings between "haha severed penis" to The most Heartbreaking, Gut-Wrenching Realities known to humankind
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melloween-candie · 8 months
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Trouble- Chap. 1//First day
A Judd Birch Story!
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Summary
You were the new kid in school, meaning you were fresh meat. You didn't know much about the school or the area you lived in. You were completely oblivious and naive, so much so you didn't even realized you had a growing number of perverts following you around. However, you weren't completely hopeless. You managed to make a few good friends who warned you about a lot of things- including Judd Birch. He wasn't known for his friendly attitude; in fact, he caused chaos wherever he went. You tried your hardest to avoid trouble, but it came to you anyway- in the form of Judd Birch.
Warning! HUMAN RECOURSE AND BIG MOUTH SPOILERS! Cussing, Name-calling, Gossip
Word Count: 3,983
Prologue, Chap. 1 ... [ON HOLD]
Big Mouth Fandom
Fandom Masterlists
/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/
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***Y/n's Pov***
Dear Diary, 
It is currently 6:31 a.m. Right now, I'm getting ready for my first day of school here at Bridgeton High. I haven't had the chance to see the school yet, but my mom said it was bigger than my old school. It kind of sucks having to move to a new school after only having this year left..., but my mom said it had to be done.
We had to move due to issues with her old job. It took her a hot minute to find another decent job, but she managed. It's sad, really- she made a lot of money in her old job, but she said she'll make twice the amount here, so I guess that's good.
"Y/n! Are you almost done getting ready? Your school starts at 7:30; I want to be able to drop you off early so you can get a head start, and so we can avoid traffic as MUCH as possible!" Your mom yelled from downstairs. 
Quickly you dropped your pencil and closed your diary, finishing the page off with your signature and date.
"Coming!" You yelled, trying to hassle. You rushed towards your bathroom, closing the door behind you. You grabbed the clothes you prepped the other night beforehand and started changing. 
***Narrator's Pov***  ~Time skip!~
You had a white tank top underneath your crop hoodie. The hoodie was black with a pale pastel pink bat on the top right, just above your right breast. It was a small design, and the strings were long and blood-red. Meanwhile, the back had wings of bones with red bloodshot flowers growing through the bones as an interkit and in-depth design. 
As for pants, you wore a pitched black skirt. It was short and somewhat puffy, with the inside part being white. The skirt was designed to have shorts underneath. That way, no pervert can try and sneak a peek. You wore a red belt around it and had some silver chains attached to it for extra flair~. 
Then you put on some simple, long, thin-laced socks. The socks reached just above your ankles, perfectly covering your calves. Meanwhile, for your shoes. They were ankle top heal boots. All black but with a hint of red inside it. (Something like this-)
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And lastly, your hair and makeup. Your makeup was simple and cute. You chose to use neutral coloring with just a light pink blush. You also filled in your eyebrows and added some lipgloss. Your hair wasn't really flashy since your mom refuses to let you dye your hair any color other than natural colors. So you choose to dye it all black. Your hair was relatively short, too, so you couldn't really style it. You ended up putting it in two low twin pigtails. 
Finally, after finishing up, you brushed your teeth and hair, rushed out of your bathroom, and grabbed your bookbag, stuffed it up with notebooks and pencils, then ran downstairs to find your mom standing next to the front door tapping her foot. Her arms were crossed- clearly, she was irritated. 
To be fair, it was also her first day at her new job, and she couldn't afford to lose it. So the more time you got ready, the more time she was losing. "I asked you to be done getting ready-" She looked at her watch. "30 minutes ago!"
You shrugged your shoulders- "Sorry." 
Your mom sighed and grabbed your face causing your hoodie to fall. She pulled you close and kissed you on your forehead. Then she lifted your face to make you look at her. 
"Well- at least you look more alive today." You smiled. "Thanks, mom." 
Some would say otherwise for your mom- She had her hair tied tightly up into a bun, and her edges were done incredibly well. Your mom also went bold with her makeup. She had sharp wings and a deep gold-colored eyeshadow, complimenting her skin color. She also had deep red lipstick on. She clearly wasn't messing around. 
The outfit she had on was a simple black women's suit. With a white buttoned-up shirt underneath her smoothed black jacket. Her entire outfit complimented her body figure. She was very curvy, leaning more towards the thicker side. She also wore dark skin tone legging trousers that were laced up in a pretty but subtle pattern, and to top it all off, she had black high heels on that made a clicking sound every time she stepped. 
You both walked out the door and got inside the car. You shoved your bookbag down next to your feet as you clipped your seat belt on while your mom placed some documents into the glove box. After you all strapped up, your mom started driving towards your new school. The drive was fairly boring. She had the news playing in the background as she mumbled stuff. Meanwhile, you had your headphones in, listening to music, but once you guys were about to make a turn- a teal van with loads of stickers behind it rushed past, swerving around your car. Your mom started cussing the hell out of it as she finished her turn. 
***Y/n's Pov***  ~Small time skip!~
Finally, she made it to the front of your school drop-off spot. She kisses your forehead goodbye and wishes you a good day at school as she droves off. You watched how her car sped by, and slowly, you took in a breath. 
"Okay, Y/n... You got this." You muttered, turning around slowly. You stared at the school and were amazed to see how big it was... "Maybe mom was right... I really should have tried to get here early..." You sulked as you started walking with the rest of the herd. As you passed the student cars, you found one that looked surprisingly familiar... 
Speedy? 
It was the same teal car that swerved passed your mom... 
Great... I guess Mom's gonna have to deal with him every time she drops me off and possibly picks me up too...
~Small time skip!~ - In the school lobby - 
"Thanks again!" You said to the office lady as you left. You now had your schedule in hand. You stood right beside the office door, looking at your schedule as a herd of students walked by. 
It read-  Y/n L/n Locker Number: A-1 303 Locker Code: 33'54'20
1st period-Homeroom // Mr. Michel // English 4 // Room # 222 2nd period// Mrs. Daisy // Advanced Art // Room # 113 3rd period // Mrs. Jackson // Crime and Literature // Room # 234 4th Period // Mr. Riley // P.E // Room # 202 5th Period // Lunch // Cafeteria 6th Period //  Mrs. Dollings // Algibra 2 // Room # 143 7th Period // Mr. Myers // World History AP // Room # 104 8th Period //  Mr. Brock // Chemistry // Room # Labritory 3
Then suddenly, someone bumps into you, causing you to drop your paper. It scattered into the herd of loud, chatty high school students.
"Ohh, NO!" Tito appeared. "Just GREAT! You dropped the only thing that gave you guidance around this HELL WHOLE!" You freaked out, getting on your knees, trying to grab the paper that landed in between two random students. Luckily they didn't notice you. 
You grabbed it, quickly standing up, pretending like nothing happened. Then you turned around to see who caused this. 
"Tch." 
You stood there facing a guy's chest. Slowly you looked up to his face... You blushed-
His face seemed like it was stuck in a permanent scowl. His hair was styled as a curtain undercut with longish blue-tipped bangs. Meanwhile, his sides and underback were shaved. He was by far at least half a head taller than you... You just stood there, not realizing you were staring. 
"Hey, dunce face. Am I gonna have to move you myself?" He said in a deep, husky voice. It brought chills to your spin as you were pulled back into reality. 
"Ooooh~ Okay, big daddy~," Connie says out of nowhere, causing you to blush even more as you stumbled out of his way. You tried apologizing, but all you could muster was a few stutters before he was entirely out of your sight.  
 Idiot!
You covered your face out of embarrassment. 
"Yeah, you're right-" Tito said. "He probably thinks you're a useless loser!"
Connie swung her arm around your shoulder- "Hey, come on now. He may be attractive..., but you're hot too! You two would make cute babies~" 
"Yeah, right!" Says Tito. "All the cuteness would be from his genes- AND even so, he would never go for an ugly, struggling teenage girl like Y/n. It's hopeless!" 
Connie scuffs, "Well, hey now-!"
You just grabbed ahold of your bookbag straps and started walking towards where you believed your locker was located.   
~ Small time skip!~
It took you a hot minute, but you managed. Your locker stood between two people. A girl to your left, who had her hair up in a messy ponytail. Her hair had clips and beads on it. She had pitch-black hair and black eyeliner. She had her right nostril pierced. She wore a gray long-sleeved shirt with a black vest over it- the vest had bold yellow text on it saying the word- RUBBISH in an edgy font. 
Meanwhile, there was a guy on your right. He was just about the same height as the lockers themselves. He was also leaning towards the heavier side. He had a pink dress shirt on and tons of bracelets. He closed his locker, causing you to quickly look away. 
"Okay, girly." The girl next to you said out of nowhere. She had her arm stretched out. Her palm against her locker, she was leaning on it.  
"Huh?" You were slightly nervous. Unsure if she was talking to you or not. 
"It's time to address the elephant in the room-" The girl gets closer to you, closing her locker shut. "Your new here? Right- I mean, it's just I've never seen you before, and I know everyone here." 
"Umm... Yeah? I am-" 
The bell then rings, indicating that breakfast time is over and that you should be heading to your classes now. 
"Thought so." She looked at the guy behind you, then back towards you. Quickly she closed your locker and shoved your right shoulder as the other guy did the same on your left, causing you to spin around. Then she grabbed your forearm as the guy did the same to the other. Forcing you to walk with them. 
"Listen, kid, what's your name?" Said the girl as she yanked your schedule out of your hands, and before you could even answer- she answered for you. 
"So your name is Y/n L/n. Aye?" She said, chewing gum as she spoke. 
The guy then leaned in closer- "By any chance, do you know Stacey L/n?" He had a surprisingly pitchy voice. You couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose or not. 
"Um, no. I just moved here." You replied as they continued to drag you down the hall.
"Interesting..." The girl then gave you back your schedule. "You're gonna have to be very careful in Mr. Michel's class."
"Yeah, I heard he's a pervert..." Said the guy.
"And he plays favorites!" Added the girl as she shoves you against the locker. She pats your arms down, shoving the dirt off you. Then she steps back and takes a look at you... Then proceed to pull your hoodie down... "Perfect. Just keep out of sight, don't raise your hand, and sit in the back- if possible. He shouldn't mess with you then. OH, and always turn in your assignments a day late- he gets lazy and ends up giving everyone an A after the first day of grading." 
"Yeah, I once turned in an unfinished assignment in his class, and he still gave me an A..." Added the guy. 
Then the girl grabbed your shoulders and gave you a deep glaring look. "Look- just be careful in there." She nods her head towards the door next to you guys. "If he does say or do anything to you during that class, just come to us immediately after, okay?" 
"OH! And if he asks if you can stay after class- RE-FUSE-IT! Make up an excuse if you don't want to get- yeah, now... R.A.P.E.D," He spelled. 
You gave him a frightening look- "H-how is this teacher not fired yet...?"
They both looked at each other and then back at you- "Ow, sweety, do you honestly think this high school gives a shit about their students?" The guy huffs. 
"Yeah, in your dreams. It's survival of the fittest out here." Said the girl. 
You just nodded slowly to everything they said, not wanting to believe in what you were hearing. Then the girl lets you go. "Look, you don't have to be scared. He's small and weak. If you really need it- you can always ask one of the guys in your class, your pretty enough to make any guy do dumb shit." She smiles, hitting you with her elbow teasingly.
"Oh, Just don't do anything with Judd." Said the guy.
"Umm... Who's Judd?" You asked, leaning towards the open door, trying to get a good view of the people in there. 
The guy then gets behind you and points at a guy with blue-tipped hair. "That's Judd Birch. He's harmless as long as you don't mess with him- AND I MEAN DON'T. The guy doesn't fuck around- a few girls from my grade tried flirting with him before, and let's just say their reputations were completely destroyed."
"Yeah, the only girls who CAN screw with that guy are the girls HE PICKED."
"Wha- what do you mean?" 
"Don't worry about it. Just don't flirt with him, don't touch him- just don't interact with him AT ALL. He's just BAD NEWS." The girl then shoves you towards the door. You looked back at them with a worried expression.
"Look, girly, you'll be fine. Um- here!" The girl then pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. "Does anyone have a pen?" 
"Oh- here!" The guy then pulls out a pen from his dress shirt pocket. 
"Really, Damian? In your pocket too?" 
"What?! It's good to carry pens!" 
She just rolled her eyes and started writing against the locker. 
Then she hands you the piece of paper. 
"Text us." Then they both walked away...
You looked at the paper...
It read-
Janis ball - 707 612-8891 Damian Duggless - 424 717-2929 [If you guys don't get the reference... 😭😭😭]
"Text us after class"  (P.S We were once also new kids :))
You smiled.
"Heyy! It seems like you already made two new friends!" Emmi was now here, smiling. 
"Yeah, I guess I did, ha- also, where were you?" 
"Ahh- haha, let's not get into it now..." Emmi giggled nervously as she shoved you into your class. 
Once the teacher saw you, he told you to stand there as the rest of the students came in and filled the seats.
~Small time skip!~
You stood in front of the class as you were told as the late bell finally rang. A few more students rushed into his classroom before he closed the door entirely. 
Your teacher, Mr. Michels, then fixed up a few papers on his hands- straightening them before grabbing the class's attention. 
"Alright! Listen up, Class! This may be the second week of school, but that doesn't mean you all should start acting like fools. This here is B/n L/n-"
"It's actually Y/n- Y/n L/n..." You corrected him. There was a silent pause... He already looks annoyed- shit. before he proceeded. 
"Alright then, my apologies Y/n-" He licked his lips and then proceeded. "Tell us a bit about yourself, Y/n." He was clearly cocky...
"Umm... okay- Well. My name is Y/n, but some call me N/n.(If you don't have one- just ignore it.) I just moved here from (Home-place). And- umm... I don't really know what else to say." You stumbled. 
"Well then," The teacher placed his hand on your shoulder, roughly catching you off guard. You didn't really know what to do, knowing what they said about him- you felt somewhat uncomfortable. "Does anyone have any questions for our new female?" His grip got tighter...
New female... Your eyebrows scrunched up; you weren't really comfortable with how he introduced you.
A guy in the back with a green hat that had a Marijuana logo on it raised his hand and then proceeded to yell- "DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!" The class started laughing as the guy who sat next to him gave him a high five. The dude was wearing a red jacket... 
You looked towards the teacher in shock... What was strange was that the teacher looked at you as if he expected you to answer... He was smiling too- 
"Umm... C-can I take my seat now..?" You asked nervously, trying to scoot away from your teacher.
The teacher paused and blinked for a second...
"Sure- You can either sit next to Judd, who is by the window back there, or Kurt, who is that kid in the back corner there- or ya know, by me." He smirked at his last statement. 
"I'm good..." You mumbled, then started walking away with your head slightly down.  
Kurt raised his hand- You stopped and looked at him. "Over here, hot stuff!" He pointed at the empty desk next to him as he leaned back against his chair. His leg pushed on his desk, causing him to rock back and forth.
Your face scrunches slightly- I'd rather get murdered by this guy;  You look towards Judd... then back to Kurt, then sit with you...
You then continued walking towards the empty seat next to the 'bad boy.'
"You know- I'm pretty sure your teacher was staring at your doo-dahs for a second..." Said Connie.
"What makes you so shore?" Asked Emmi.
"Trust me, Emmi- it's hormone monster logic 101!" She said as she followed the group. 
Once the guy named Kurt realized you chose to sit next to Judd instead of him, he fell off his chair, causing a scene. Everyone started laughing... meanwhile, during it all, you placed your stuff down, getting comfy in your seat and ignoring the situation a few seats behind you completely.  
(BTW, just to let y'all know- these are two-seater desks...) 
Small time skip!~ ***Narrator's Pov***
Halfway into the lecture, and still nothing. Judd hasn't done anything to you at all. You were kind of disappointed at that fact. Personally, you found him to be really cute, and everything those two said about him earlier only made him more intriguing. So much so that you would give him a 'casual' side glance every chance you got. You thought you were being really sneaky about it, but to him, you were practically screaming at him. 
"Do you need something?" He said with his husky voice-
***Y/n's Pov***
OH FUCK! You couldn't stop screaming in your own head. 
"OH NOOOO!!! YOU FUCKED UP!" Tito was flying EVERYWHERE. "OH GOD THE ONE THING WE WERE WARNED ABOUT!!!" As Tito started swarming the entire room- Connie tried to swat her away meanwhile, Emmi tried to reassure you- "Hey, don't worry about this- um, just say 'nope' or 'what are you talking about?'" She was clearly just as nervous as you. 
"It's just you keep side-eyeing me like a little creep." He chuckled.  That made you flustered QUICK, and he clearly knew- You couldn't even face him... this whole situation made you so uncomfortable that your body naturally straightened its posture while your head faced down; you stared at your worksheet so hard that you thought your eyes were about to pop out. 
Meanwhile, Judd was just spinning his pencil. Doing cool little tricks with it as he continued to look at you. "Not much of a talker aye?" He stopped spinning his pencil. He tilted his head, too, you noticed...  this only made you want to cover your face even more. You tilted your head down, now fully facing your lap, your hair covering your sides nicely. 
Your grip on your pencil tightened- Dear god, PLEASE MAKE ME INVISIBLE NOW!!! 
A few minutes go by, and he didn't say anything else after. So, you just continued on with your work. Once you finished, you got up and handed the teacher your work. He grabbed it, then winked at you- Gross... Then he proceeded to type something on his computer as you walked back to your seat. You had a good ten minutes left in class, so you just decided to put your head down for a bit. 
Sooner or later, you felt a small tap on your head... You raised your head up to look and saw a small piece of ripped-up line paper right next to you. You then completely sat up and looked at Judd as you grabbed the paper. He wasn't even paying attention. His face was the same, could-care-less-about-everything face, and he even had his phone out- I wonder who he's texting...
You were a little suspicious... due to your trust issues, you were a little cautious of whether you should open this note or not- after all, you weren't sure if it was actually for you. Maybe you just imagined the tap you felt on your head just a few minutes ago?
Nevertheless, your curiosity got the best of you, and you opened it. It said-
Your number ⬇️ (If y'all can't see the emoji- it's an arrow pointing down to the line.) ______________
The handwriting was a little sloppy. The pencil was clearly being pressed onto the paper- REALLY hard.
You looked a little confused by all this. You looked at him; he was still messing with his phone, then back towards the paper. Then you wrote, "No." You remembered how your new friends told you not to mess with him- He may be hot, but I really don't wanna get into any trouble right now. All I want is to survive this last year of high school- And I can't do that if my reputation gets fucked. 
You slide the piece of paper towards his side. It took him a moment, having to finish his text, then he opened it... Your heart starts pounding, fearing what he might do. You tried to act cool as if you didn't know what was happening. 
Then you noticed, from the corner of your eyes. He was glaring at you. You could feel the sweat dripping down your neck... After writing something new down on the piece of paper, he slides it back towards you. You were hesitating on opening it at first but quickly opened it when you found him, still glaring at you... more intensely this time- he was clearly annoyed by now...
The note now says-
Your number ⬇️ (Same arrow.) ____No_____ That wasn't a question, dumbass ___________ 
Then you wrote down- 
Your number ⬇️ (Same arrow.) ____No_____ That wasn't a question, dumbass (XXX) XXX-XXXX (Your number- Your choice 🤭)  "Can I at least know why?" 
Then you slide the paper to him, and he snatches it out of your hand. You looked at him as he read it. The bell then rings. You grabbed your stuff as he finished reading- "Soon enough, you'll know." He said as he slung his bookbag over his shoulder, pocketing the piece of paper as he pushed past you along with everyone else in his way...
Well, this can't be good... You thought as you walked out of class. "Hey! Put it this way! He wanted your NUMBER! That has to amount to something, am I right!" Said Connie. She had her arm wrapped around your waist as you all walked out of class, minus Tito; of course, she flew... 
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A/n 
The first chapter is finally done! I'm not going to lie, I like it way better than how I had it originally played out... Anyway, I hope this was an eye-catcher for you guys! Stay tuned for the next chapter! 😝
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taki118 · 11 months
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It kinda sucks that Human Resources is just an overall better show and better use of concept than the show it span off from Big Mouth yet it only got 2 seasons to Big Mouths 8.
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odinsblog · 2 years
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Higher wages and the ability to meet your bills, or a ping pong table at work? Hm … tough decision
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baalzebubuu · 6 months
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If Lore Olympus Had a Competent HR pt. 2
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ghulehvous · 5 months
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Behind every great Ministry is a horde of petty bureaucrats
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His Unholiness Papa Emeritus Nihil (Emeritus) 
Veneration of Relics Hall
The Crypt
Ministry Headquarters
4 March 2020
Dear Papa Nihil,
We regret to inform you that you are no longer eligible for the Ministry’s final salary pension scheme and that payments will cease with immediate effect. 
The Ministry’s generous pension provision allows for the beneficiary to receive a guaranteed income, based on your previous earnings, for life. That is to say, while one has a corporeal form. 
You no longer have a corporeal entity and your spirit is now tied to another plane of existence. Thus, per the Ministry-Infernal Treaty (Afterlife, Additional Lives and Resurrections) of 1649, the maintenance of your ethereal form is now the responsibility of whichever realm or channel through which you choose to manifest. 
If you are unhappy with our decision you may make a complaint to the Pensions Ombudsman or pursue a judicial review. However, you should be advised that Hell hath no fury like a petty administrative bureaucrat scorned. 
NemA and kindest regards,
Ministry (In)Human Resources 
Cc: Ministry files - Emeritus, Nihil; Mr Saltarian
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prettiestboytoy2 · 2 months
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I avoid posting personal stories but holy shit let me tell you how "nobody wants to work this days"
I got an call from a headhunter, he was looking for an consultant in specific type of enterprise-class management systems. Systems i happen to be experienced with. We spoke for roughly 40 minutes about my experience and skills. He was cleary very pleased and convinced he found an perfect candidate, and proceded to contact the company he was working for.
After 1 hour he gave me call back, disappointed. He said he contacted the client and the client was displeased with the fact that after i stooped working with those systems, i had AUDACITY of switching industry and became an project menager in company with completly different profile. Headhunter, being audibly baffled with the reasoning of the company said he tried to negotiate but everything simply bounced off them, so he had to wish me luck in the future.
It really doesn't take rocket scientist to recognize that there is simply no way for economy to improve when anyone remotely competent is being gatekept from getting a job by moronic HR "workers", lacking most basic understanding of the business they work in and who very often fail to create a single dolar of surplus value during thier entire "professional" carrer. Not to even mention functionally illiterate nepo-baby, that didn't had to work a single day of its life for many generations by now, who actually "runs" a company.
Often i get weird looks during recruitment when recruiters asked me about "switches" of the industry, in a tone that sounded like they were looking at prison sentence in my resume. Oh, how could i commit such a great crime of taking whatever job i could because retarded psychopaths responsible for recruitment usually were looking for an noblist with pay of an intern. How could i value not starving to death over being "focused" on the industry.
I was 24 fucking years old when i became project menager. I made for company more money that some people in my country make in an life time, because i was fucking good at it. And now i am getting judged and rejected by some basic bitch with bullshit degree, fucking ridiculous.
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doodlediller · 5 months
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big mouth aggie dump 🤤 w @skizzlebeetle
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joshua-wright · 2 years
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www.joshuawright.net
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a-todd-illustration · 11 months
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This new season was great! Loved Montel's storyline
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torse · 3 months
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lawbreaker13 · 11 months
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So are we just not going to discuss the perfectly depicted struggles of a nonverbal child in the new Human Resources season, or...?
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vb0tz · 1 month
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I finally got around to doing this trend after over a month of art block.
And yes, my comfort characters are two robots and a rock.
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nuclear-angel · 2 months
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The ladies 💚❤️
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lifeinpoetry · 2 years
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                   . . . just stood there in the living room           looking around at all I’ve collected—                    taking inventory of what’s gotten in           without invitation                     and what I won’t let leave.
— Ryann Stevenson, from “HOST,” Human Resources
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melloween-candie · 8 months
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Trouble [Judd Birch Fanfic]
Prologue
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Summary
You were the new kid in school, meaning you were fresh meat. You didn't know much about the school or the area you lived in. You were completely oblivious and naive, so much so you didn't even realized you had a growing number of perverts following you around. However, you weren't completely hopeless. You managed to make a few good friends who warned you about a lot of things- including Judd Birch. He wasn't known for his friendly attitude; in fact, he caused chaos wherever he went. You tried your hardest to avoid trouble, but it came to you anyway- in the form of Judd Birch.
Warning! HUMAN RECOURSE AND BIG MOUTH SPOILERS!
Word Count: 1,083
Prologue, Chap. 1 ... [ON HOLD]
Big Mouth Fandom
Fandom Masterlists
/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/
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- Conference Room -
***Connie's Pov***
"What's the big idea, Connie? Why are we here?" Asked Emmi.
"Well, I'm glad you asked Emmi, you see. I want to go over this client's case files."
"Who?" Emmi opened the file that was laid in front of her. "Y/n L/n. Female. Age 10." She skips through some of the details. 
"She has depression, anxiety, and a somewhat low self-esteem," Emmi's face shifted to a sad one. "How sad... she's only ten."
"Yeah, well, it gets worse." Said Cat. "Say's here; she's a foster kid. She was placed in the system after an unexpected visit from child services. Apparently, the dad was very abusive."
"Oh great!" Tito said. "I can already feel the overwhelming emotions this kid is emitting!" She started scattering around the room, flying a duplicating herself.
"TITO!" Yelled connie. "Stop that!"
Tito calms down a bit, and Connie continues to speak. "Now listen, the whole reason why I asked all of you to be here today was because I don't want to see this girl in prison. I don't want her to be dead in the next 10 years... I've been doing this job for years, and every time I got a client who was in her position- they'd always grow to be less than what they deserved. Now I know this isn't like me, but I want all of you to work with me on this!" 
"Oww, of course, Connie! I want the best for this cutie too!" Emmi said, holding your picture up. "I mean, come on! Who would want pain for this adorable thing?!" 
"I mean, I'm fine with that." Said Cat. 
"Good!" 
"Now, wait!" Tito chimes in. "Do I not get a say in this too-?"
"NO!" They all yelled.
"You're bad enough!" Emmi said. 
"Yeah, no offense, but we'd rather try and get rid of you and the kitty as fast as possible so this little baby can have a nice teenage hood." 
"That's fair." Says Cat as he purrs on his chair. 
"Good!" Says Connie as she ends the meeting.
- Y/n's L/n File - 
Age: 10
Birthday: (Your b-day)
Sex: Female (Sorry for anyone who was hoping otherwise)
Hormone Monster: Connie
Anxiety Masqito: Tito
Depression Kitty:  Cat Stevens
Lovebug/Hate worm: Emmi
[This shows that you're young and inexperienced. You tend to get nervous around new things/people in general. You also tend to daydream a lot and are slightly clumsy. You also tend to get into your own head quite a lot.]
2 years later...
Character Info 
You were adopted by a black, thick businesswoman. Who cares for you deeply. She is a sarcastic and classy woman who is extremely smart. She is also a very hard-working woman who tends to be tough on you but overall wants to see you succeed in life. 
 She was recently laid off due to budget cuts. The company she was working for went bankrupt. Luckily, she was rich enough to keep you both afloat long enough for her to find a good new job. 
It wasn't hard for her to find a new, better-paying job due to her resume. Now, she works in the human resource department of a company that specializes in human behavior here at Bridgeton.
She doesn't have any biological children, and she doesn't have a spouse. 
You used to visit your biological family when you were little but quickly cut off all contact with your father when you turned 12. Your mother died a year after you and your siblings were taken... some say it was due to your father, but no one really knows. 
In the end, there'd be days where you wished you could see your siblings again, but the foster family said it would be best not to do so in case the father tried anything... since they weren't adopted yet. Meaning the father still had rights to custody...
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BONUS
When everyone left the conference room... Connie came rushing back in... she was holding a file. On the front of that said file, it said-
⚠️Confidential⚠️
- Judd Birch's Future Files -
Age: 18
Birthday: (I don't know/1998) 
Sex: Male
Addiction Angel: Dante (Random date saying when he's gonna get addicted... I don't know when Judd got addicted to Jack Daniels.) Addiction: Y/n, Jack Daniels
"Wait... Judd's gonna get addicted to my girl! Ooooh~" Connie giggles as she continues reading his file.
Anxiety: Tito (Date and time of when he got anxiety. It also says the reason.)
"Ugh." She rolls her eyes.
Logic Rock: Van
Hate worm: Dax (He's just naturally broody- and even as a lovebug, he tends to be very bruff and rude in nature. He has a more muscular build, but as a hate worm, he's more slim and has a dark green veiny look with yellow glowing eyes in the dark. He's also a raddle snake. Was born through Judd's love for chaos and was turned REALLY QUICKLY, when Judd was very little, into a hate worm after realizing Judd couldn't be himself without being punished for it. Because of him and the addiction Judd has for you- Dax tends to make Judd act slightly yandere for you... Like Dax is very mean to everyone who hurts or goes near you- as if you belong to Judd and Judd alone.) MADE UP CHARACTER
Connie gasps! "Oh, my, god!... Dax becomes a hate worm...! I should probably do something about that..." Connie pauses to think. "Nah- he's hot either way~"
Need demon: Maverick (He's more greedy than the others, and he's more quiet. Has a very deep voice and tends to hide in the dark. Laughs like Judd...too. He isn't fairly big, though, he's a normal size for a teen, and his color is pitch-spotty black. Doesn't get out much and works well with Dante- even though Dante tends to get uncomfortable around the man...) MADE UP CHARACTER
[This shows that Judd is more into the darker kind of humor. Who doesn't get horny much at all... He's also smarter than he looks- like he just knows what he's doing (thanks to Van ~) He also has anger issues but tends to throw his anger through actions-]
[Example:]
[His parents piss him off- He slashes their tires...]
[He gets grounded- He sneaks out...]
[He doesn't tend to show his feelings much at all, though... Obviously.]
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Connie closes the files... "I probably shouldn't have read that, but I honestly can't wait to see what happens once these two meet~" 
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A/n
Lowkey, same Connie, LOL! Anyway, I had to make up some fake characters for Judd's files- just cause I felt like the characters in those categories that existed in the show didn't fit the role very well with what I was trying to do.
(Also, I have a Wattpad account where I rewrite my stories from here and post them there- Reason being is cause Wattpad tends to show authors more details- Example: it tells us how many people has read our stories. So, if you see this story on Wattpad, or any other stories of mine- just know that it's my work. I don't steal other people's work!)
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