#i am aware solar is dead. i do not trust that he will Stay dead

[bloodmoons-knife]

im on a trip and im SO afraid of the latest vid

#cant watch stuff rn but am Afraid #i am aware solar is dead. i do not trust that he will Stay dead #bcuz this is tsams. and solar is both a p major character And a fan favorite #theyll bring him back. also hes an eclipse theyre like cockroaches killing them doesnt work #maybe he'll come back feral. thatd be fun

[diddlesanddoodles]

Dumpling ch 31

“Mama,” Nenani asked from where she had curled up against her mother, one of her long thin arms draped over her daughter protectively. Haiyer was fast asleep and curled into his mother’s other side with their mother’s other arm wrapped around him. She had slept a little, but the rhythmic lilting of the pack they were being carried in make it hard to stay asleep. At least for Nenani it was and such restlessness did nothing but urge on the many questions that stewed inside her mind. “...am I a fire mage?”

Her mother’s fingers laced through her hair, pulling lightly at the tangles and only paused for a moment at her query before resuming the idle grooming.

“Yes,” her mother replied softly so as to not rouse Haiyer. “I hope you can understand why it was that I put the seal on you.”

“...to protect me?”

“Yes. But more than that,” she said. “There are so few left with the Flower’s power. You and I may very well be the last. Haiyer might still bloom, but...there are people who crave power and to people like that, fire mages are useful tools. Someone born with the potential for magnificent feats of magic. Or monstrous feats of destruction. They would seek you out and try to make you do things. Things you wouldn’t want to do.”

“Barnaby said that people use to kidnap children who were fire mages if their family wasn’t rich...”

“Yes,” her mother said. “It was horrible. My father encouraged it, calling it a mercy for the families and a blessing for the child. That to surrender your blood in such a way...for the good of out kingdom.”

She shifted as she considered her next question. “Was grandfather...a bad person?”

Her mother did not answer right away. “People are hardly ever just one thing. And they’re different things to different people,” her mother explain. “My father was not a gentle man, no. He was strict, but I knew he loved me. In his way.”

“But he banished you...” It was hard to get around the idea that a father could just throw his child away like that. She couldn’t imagine her own father doing it.

“I broke his heart first,” Oira replied, her voice sounding thick. “He was crying as he read out my punishment. So I knew it pained him, but...I was still forced to leave.”

It wasn’t a satisfying answer and she felt inclined to think ill of her maternal grandfather regardless.

“Sometimes I wonder if what he was trying to do was grant me mercy,” her mother continued. “If I had stayed, both my life and yours would have been horrible. By leaving, he gave me a way to start afresh. At least...that’s what I hoped he meant. I still love him even now and he did allowed Captain Haiyer to honorably discharge your father so that he could come with us. Instead of facing possible execution.”

“He...he would have killed Papa?” Nenani asked in real alarm and raised her head, but Oira pushed her back into place, petting her hair as though to sooth her back into calmness.

“No, it wouldn’t have gone that far. But others may have pushed it to further their own agendas. Any sort of upheaval at court was always a chance for someone to get an upper hand in some dealing or another.”

“Did uncle have to go too?”

“No, Halden stayed. He only found us much later after the capitol fell. He was one of the few that made it out. It was actually by chance he found us at all. He’d bargained for passage on a barge on its way to the Southland Port where he ran into your father. It’s how….how I found out about...how my family died.”

Nenani fell into an uneasy contemplation and then quietly asked, “Would you be able to teach me how to be a fire mage?”

“I was only ever taught the basics. Mostly how to control the flames so they didn’t just burst out whenever I became upset. I wouldn’t be able to teach you much. But I will teach you what I know.”

“I wonder if Maevis would be able to teach me some too,” she contemplated allowed. “And maybe...maybe if I got good at it...I could help.”

“Aidus would kill you if you stood up to him,” Oira said firmly. “No. I want you as far from that as I can get you. And from what you have told me, it sounds as though there are plenty of others in Vhasshal who would agree with me. You’re a child, Nenani. Not a soldier.”

“I don’t want him to hurt any more of my friends...”

“Perhaps,” her mother said. “Once I have spoken to King Warren, we might be able to assemble a defense against Aidus. He’s strong enough to take on several giants all on his own. But he has an army of bewitched serpents at his command as well. It will take...a lot to bring him to heel. You bought us time by killing the dragon. But we can’t hope for more than a month or so.”

They settled into a nervous silence with only the sound of rustling leather and the muffled sound of Keral’s boots to fill the silence. Eventually, sleep came for them all, though neither Nenani or her mother had pleasant dreams.

…………………………………………………………….

When Nenani woke up, she felt sluggish and the air inside the pack was stale and smelled of body odor and whiskey. She was curious about when had woken her when she heard a voice. “Captain, we weren’t expecting you back for another –!”

“Give this note to Captain Rheil,” Keral barked. “It’s of the upmost urgency. I’ll be waitin’ fer him in the west wing’s solar.”

“Uh, sir. There was a fire in the west wing and...”

“East wing then. Hurry on, boy.”

“Oh, of course. But sir, I...”

“Now, you useless halfwit!”

“Yessir!”

“And have some wine brought too!”

She could hear the young Vhasshalan guard scamper off to hurriedly carry out his orders and Keral moving away down a corridor. After several long minutes of silence, there came the sound of large metal hinges screeching as a door was opened and then slammed tight again. The pack tilted alarmingly, and its occupants let out cries of alarm.

“Sorry,” Keral said, flipping the top of his pack open and allowing fresh air in. “Forgot to warn ya.”

He had set the pack down on a wooden bench that faced another bench of similar design and wood. Between them was a low table with the whole affair arranged beside a tall and beautifully ornate stone fireplace. The room’s ceiling was high with its wooden support beams showing through the plaster. He sat down heavily beside them, running a hand down his tired face.

“Can we come out?” Nenani asked as she fidgeted inside.

“Not just yet. I don’t want anyone to be seein’ ya until we’re in front of the King. So just sit back fer a bit.”

“Who is Rheil?” Oira asked, setting Haiyer in her lap. The little boy’s eyes drooped heavily and he was only dimly aware of his surroundings.

“Captain of the guard,” Keral said. “Probably the most trustworthy man here. He took up the post when I refused it.”

Oira snorted. “They wanted you to be Captain of the guard?”

Keral eyed her in annoyance. “That surprise ya, does it?”

“Greatly.” In response, Keral flipped the lid of his pack back over them. Oira gave a startled “Hey!” before Keral shushed her.

“Someone’s comin’. Hush up.”

The door to the room opened and a slim girl carrying a large decanter of wine walked in. “Apologies, my lord. The kitchens are still a mess and they had to move the wine stores to make room for the temporary cook camp.”

“Never ya mind, lass,” Keral said amiably. “I thank ye.”

“Will that be all, m’lord?”

“Fer now.”

“I’ll take my leave then.” The door closed and left them in silence for only a few short moments before it opened again.

“Rheil,” Keral said in muted greeting as he rose and met the Captain halfway.

“Keral,” said the captain, sounding confused and apprehensive. “We weren’t expecting you back for a few more days.”

“There were some...developments that brought me back early.”

“Oh,” Rheil said seriously. “So then..?”

“I need to have a conference with his Majesty. I want you, Maevis, and Barnaby there as well,” Keral said as he poured himself a generous cup of wine and took a long drink. “It’ll make this a hell of a lot easier if everyone is all in one place so I don’t have to go about repeatin’ myself and folks gettin’ the facts backwards.”

“Very well, I’ll see to it that they’re all assembled. Is this of a...sensitive nature?”

“The less folks know, the better.”

“Ah, then I suggest we have this conference in the King’s private study if he permits.”

“Agreed. I’ll wait here until everyone’s ready.”

“Why not simply come with me?”

“You’ll understand soon enough.”

“Very well,” Rheil said. “It’ll come back once everyone is assembled then.”

“I have a question for you Rheil before you go,” Keral said, voice serious and strained. “Jae. Is it true? That the Mage killed him?”

Nenani’s heart pulled alarmingly at those words and to her further dismay, her hands started to glow. She gasped and began to flail her hands as though to shake the affliction off of her. Oira reached out and grabbed her daughter’s hands, bringing them to her lips and kissing them lightly.

“Breathe,” she whispered. “The flames will feed off your fear if you do not control it. Just breathe, baby. You have mastery over the flower, not the reverse.”

“Is Jae…?” Rheil’ asked, sounding confused. “No, he’s not dead. Bruised black and blue from here to Timberbrook, but he’s alive.”

Nenani’s eyes widened and she could not suppress the relieved smile that spread across her face. Even in the dark of the pack, she could see her mother smiling back at her and the glow from her hands faded.

“Seven fuckin’ hells!” Keral said in abject relief and then laughed despite himself. “I’d heard the fucker had killed him.”

“Not for lack of trying, trust me. Threw the poor boy from the Library roof. Luckily for Jae one of my men was right below when he fell and caught him. But only after he’d hit the edge of a lower level on his way down. He’s busted up and his arm is broken, but he is very alive.” Rheil said and then his words grew soft and sad. “But...Farris’s little ward, Nenani. She’s dead.” He paused. “That Mage...the fucker fed her to his dragon. Right in front of me, Keral. I couldn’t get to her in time...”

Keral did not say anything for several moments and then in a quiet, but firm voice, said simply, “Best get going Rheil. Sooner what needs to be said is said, the better fer everyone.”

“...aye.”

The sound of the door closing once again marked his departure and Nenani could hear Keral’s boots clopping against the stone floor as he returned to the bench. “Sorry, lass. I’m thinkin’ it’s best we keep yer miraculous survival to ourselves until we’re before the King.”

“Will I be able to go see Farris and Yale and everyone soon?” she asked anxiously.

“In time,” he said. “But first we need to sort this mess out and see to yer Mum and brother. Just sit tight fer me, sweetling.”

The next half hour was spent in uncomfortable and anxious silence. Nenani could feel her mother becoming more and more agitated as time continued on and the only real sounds beyond their own quiet breathing was the sound of Keral drinking glass after glass of wine.

“I don’t know if I can do this...” Oria said quietly; her breathing having become more and more rapid. She was panicking. “Keral...I can’t do this.”

“Far too late fer any a’ that, lass,” Keral replied grimly. “Just keep hold a’ yer lil’uns and remember to breathe.”

“Don’t cry, Mama,” Haiyer said, cuddling up to her. “Don’t cry.”

She wrapped her arms around her son, but did not speak. Nenani wished she could go see Jae and talk to him. Or to Farris to let him know she was alright. But she was also loathed to leave her mother’s side, especially in such a state. She was beginning to feel awfully anxious herself. It was reminiscent of when she had waited for the King to judge her for stealing fruit from him. The pit of her stomach felt as though she had swallowed rocks and no matter how she sat or shifted, she could not get comfortable. So she concentrated on her breathing so her excessive emotions would cause her hands to spark again. How awkward would it be to get upset and mistakenly burn the King’s study down?

The flap of the pack opened, dousing them in warm sunlight and Keral frowned down at them.

“Ye all look like yer waitin’ fer the executioner’s swing,” he huffed. Oria did not rise to his taunt and he studied the woman for a moment. “Tell me, what are ye afraid of, Oira?”

She spared the ranger a glance and shook her head. “Everything. I’m afraid to look into his eyes and tell him the truth of his brother’s death and all that followed was my doing. That he’ll allow the children to stay,” she whispered. “But demand that I leave. Leave them forever and return to Aidus and to that life.” She let out a breathless sob and fat tear droplets dripped from her chin. “I...I don’t think I could ever return to him. I...I don’t want to, even though I know it’s what I deserve. It might even stop him. But...I can’t.”

“Give Warren a little credit, lass,” Keral replied gently. “He is Thadeus’s brother after all.”

“And the Blood King was their father,” she replied grimly. “I can’t expect his familial connections to save me.”

“Yer not on trail, y’know.”

“Yes I am,” she replied very softly, perhaps intending for the ranger to not even hear her. “From the moment I was presented at court at fourteen years old, all I have ever had on me were judgmental eyes. Deciding how much I was worth. What status my hand would bring. What they could have from me. And the very few people who never did are dead now.”

Keral opened his mouth to reply, but a knock at the door disrupted anything he would have said.

“We’re ready for you, Keral.”

“Aye.”

Keral flipped the pack’s lid and sealed them all back into the dark. Nenani heard him lock the pack’s cover into place and with a measured slowness, eased the pack onto his shoulders. The three humans were rocked inside along with the ranger’s gait as he left the room and followed Rheil down the long halls. Beside her, Nenani heard her mother stifle a sob and wished there was something she could say to make her smile.  

“I’ll warn you now, Keral,” Rheil was saying. “The last couple days have left everyone on a razor’s edge. And this hasty meeting hasn’t done much to quell that. The King’s out for blood.”

“I would expect so,” he replied. “How bad’s the damage to the west wing?”

“Not nearly as bad as it could have been. The dragon only set fire to one portion of the roof and after it left, Maevis was able to easily douse the flames. Donal is overseeing the reconstruction plans. His Majesty’s been with Jae for the most part.”

“Injuries?”

“Minimal. A few burns. Some tapestries were destroyed, but nothing as bad as it would have been,” Rheil said and then added, “And then of course we lost Nenani.”

“How’s Farris and the lads?”

“Ruined,” Rheil said. “Farris sent Yale home for a few days to grieve in the comfort of his mother’s home. Everyone else is carrying on, but...you can tell.”

Keral rumbled noncommittally. Inside the pack, Nenani was miserable. She hated the idea that her very dear friends were in pain, believing her to be dead. For the life of her, she could not understand why she could not just go see them. She had to quell the swell of sadness before she began to spark. Another door opened and together, Rheil and Keral entered the King’s private study. The very place that Nenani had been brought months earlier to face the King for her own petty crimes. She hoped that he would be as kind to her mother.

“Keral,” came the angry voice of the King. “I hope you bring news of the Smoke Mage and how me might bring him to justice. Because I have a pike I’m sure his head would fit on nicely.”

“Your Majesty,” Keral replied and Nenani could swear she could hear the smirk in his voice. “I come to you bringing everything.”

“Explain yourself, then. Because right now I’d very much like to tear that human into pieces for what he did to my son and to that little girl.”

Keral very slowly sat his pack onto the ground, but made no motion to reveal its contents. Beside her, Nenani’s mother reached out and gripped her daughter’s hand and Nenani squeezed back.

“Fer months I’ve been chasing this shadow that we now know is a Smoke Mage. It’s attacked the villages, several people, and then killed a man. The Hill Tribes are the only ones to have reportedly seen the thing and none of the reports match one another. Then we have a seemingly happenstance Wyvern attack here at the castle. Maevis didn’t think it was so happenstance, though. There was...some weird magic all around it. Then Farris’s lil’ ward admitted to me that she had seen a man she claimed was “made of smoke” during the attack. During which he attempted to kill her. He did not succeed and after the wyvern had been killed, the Smoke Mage was no where to be found.”

“Keral,” came Maevis’s voice, but he did not sound at all like himself. “We know all of this, why do you need to...”

“Maevis, please,” Keral said. “It’s taken me a good while to string all this together. Once it’s all laid out, what comes next will make more sense.”

“Apologies. Please continue.”

“Then a field scout reports to me that a dragon’s attacked Vhasshal. On my way back, I spotted the damn thing and followed it for a half league or so. If the Smoke Mage is using these beasts, I might be able to find where he’s hiding. Just as it flies over the Daehil Nenani river, the fucker explodes.”

There came a weighted silence as Keral’s words were mulled over.

“The dragon...exploded?” came the incredulous voice of the King.

“Yep. Big ol’ ball of flames. Ripped the damn thing’s jaw clean off and it fell into the river. Then the river caught fire.”

Maevis made a strange sound of surprise as though he was choking on air.

“The river...caught fire?” Rheil asked incredulously. “...like at Riftside?”

“Aye, s’what I said and yeah. Looked the same too. And the closer I got to where the dragon fell, I could hear somethin’. Or rather, someone. Screamin’ their fuckin’ lungs out and each time they did, the fire got bigger and bigger.”

“A fire mage,” said the King, his voice serious. “You found a fire mage?”

“Aye, a right an’ proper fire mage.”

“Keral, sir,” came Barnaby’s shaking voice. “You...you don’t mean to tell us that...”

“She was in the water screamin’ her little head off. No worse fer wear ‘cept being torn from her wits and senses. Suppose almost being eaten by a dragon’ll do that to anyone, let alone a wee lass.”

“Answer me plain, Keral. Who did you find?”

“Nenani. She was sparkin’ up a storm and gettin’ ready t’light whole valley up.”

“Nenani? She...bloomed?” Maevis asked. “But what of...”

“You mean she is alive?” Rheil asked.

“Keral, where is she now?” the King demanded.

Light flooded into the pack once more as Keral lifted the top away and reached inside for Nenani and pulled her out. “She’s right here.”

He sat her gently onto the King’s large desk and her eyes were still adjusting to the light when there came many voices of surprise and elation. The King sat in his chair behind the desk and to his right stood Rheil. They looked at her as though she were a ghost and she supposed she sort of was, but it wasn’t a moment later that Rheil broke out into a wide smile. Then Barnaby was suddenly at her side, wrapping his arms around her and crying. “Oh, Nenani, you are alive!” he cried. “Praise the Seven Seals! Gods above!”

“Dear child,” Maevis said, breathless with relief and when she looked up into his honey colored eyes, he was smiling warmly, holding one hand to his heart. “We were sure he had killed you.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” she said, burying her face into the old man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, pish-posh! You haven’t a thing to be sorry for! What an idea, apologizing for being attacked by a dragon!” Barnaby said, pulling her away from himself to study her over. “Oh, young master Jae will be so glad to hear you’re safe.”

“And Farris,” Rheil added. He looked to Keral with an expression that was meant to be admonishing, but was tainted by his own relief. “You mean to say you had her stashed in there the entire time I was telling you how upset everyone was? You’re terrible.”

Looking as smug as the cat that just caught the biggest rat, Keral shrugged. “Ha! She ain’t the only thing I have in here,” Keral replied. “And if ye thought her bit was fantastical, well...” Keral reached down into the pack. “Come on then, lass. Up ye get, now.”

With a gentle hand, Keral helped Oira step from the pack and onto the desk. She was very pale and she held her hands clasped together as though to hide the fact that she was trembling. The gathered Vhasshalans looked to her in mute confusion and expectation. The King, however, was looking at her with a sharp and suspicious eye.

Barnaby’s hands left Nenani’s shoulders and he stared at Oira, mouth agape. In turn, Oira stared back and when recognition struck her, it was as though a damn had broke and she broke into a sob. “Oh, Master Barnabas...”

Barnaby slowly walked towards her, reaching out in an almost disbelieving fog. His wrinkled and worn hands cupped the woman’s face and he had tears in his eyes. “My dear girl. Oh, I dared not hope...that it might be true. That somehow...you had survived. Dear child...”

“You don’t know how good it is to see you,” Oira laughed through her tears and hugged the old archivist tightly. Though he readily returned the sentiment, his face was one of regret and pain.

“Barnaby,” said the King when the two parted and the old man had a moment to compose himself. Though his words were genial enough, there was suspicion in his eyes and his back was straight and stiff. “Might you be so good as to make the introductions for us?”

“Ah! Of course, forgive me, sire,” the older man said hastily and took a formal bow. “My lords, I have the immense honor and privilege to introduce to you all, Flowered Princess Aine Elaine Oira, Duchess of Ravenwood, and sixth child of the late King Haeral XVI.”

Nenani could see the way her mother seemed to tense up as her name and titles was said aloud and she did not meet anyone’s gaze. For several moments, no one spoke and the King stared into her with sharpness that made Nenani feel uneasy.

“Annie,” said the King softly, his eyes piercing. “You’re Annie.”

Oira did not meet his eye and only nodded in mute confirmation. The King’s gaze roamed over her figure, taking in her story that was written plainly on her body. Her hair cut shot, her neck marred with old scars, and most of all her demeanor. She carried herself much in the same way Nenani had when she faced his judgment and his eyes flickered between Oira and Nenani and there was a spark of recognition.

“We had thought my father slaughtered you with the rest of your kin,” King Warren said though not unkindly. “How ever did you survive?”

“Your Majesty...” she said, her head bowed and voice unsteady. “I...I have something to tell you. And I...I beg you to allow me to finish what I have to say without pause. Because if I stop, I am afraid I will never be able to finish and what I have to say you need to know. It is your right and I have taken far too long in coming to you.”

Warren considered her for a moment and then gestured to her. “You have the floor, m’lady.”

“...the night that Crown Prince Thadeus died,” she began and there was a palpable shift in the room. Muscles tensed and eyes narrowed, but she pressed on. If she stopped now, the words would never come. “He was in Silvaara because I asked him to come. I needed his aide. To leave. I...I had been banished by my father for defying him and taking a man not my betrothed. I was carrying his bastard child and he refused to allow her to be born under his sigil. He had Master Barnabas remove me from the archives so it was as though I never existed. He is wrong to call me a Princess because I have not held the right to that title in more than a decade.” She took a deep fortifying breath. “The man to whom I had been promised is named Aidus. When I was banished, he refused to accept it and he would not let me go. He tried to kill the child still inside me, but Thadeus stopped him.”

She took a breath.

“Aidus killed Crown Prince Thadeus when he tried to save me and my unborn child and the man that would become my husband. He told us to run and Aidus killed him for it.” She quickly dabbed at her flowing tears and continued on quickly before her courage ran dry. “I could not come to you to tell you the truth of it, because I feared your father’s wrath. That he might kill me and my baby and Hayron. So I stayed away while the war waged on. All these years I thought that your father still lived. So we hid away in the Southlands. But Aidus found us again just as I learned I was with child once more. He killed my husband and took me away and I was forced to leave my brother in law and young daughter. I was able to convince him that the son I bore was his blood so he would not kill him.

“But last year he threatened to kill my baby boy when he showed no promise of ever blooming. So I ran away with him. The Smoke Mage who had been ravaging your lands is Aidus. He has been looking for me. And also my daughter so that he may use her to force me to return to him.”

Oira was trembling terribly and her eyes swam with tears.

“Above everything, sire, the one thing I wish for you to know is how much I deeply regret involving the Prince in my matters and leading him to his death. I do not ask for forgiveness as I know I do not deserve it, but I beseech your mercy that my children may rely upon your protection. If Aidus gets the chance, he will kill them both and they’re the last of my father’s bloodline. If Silvaara is ever to live on, even as a memory, so must they.”

The room became very quiet and Nenani could see all the hard faces of the Vhasshalans gathered. All but Keral wore expressions of anguish and anger and it was almost as if she could feel their gazes upon her mother’s shaking form.

“Please,” Oira said lastly, her voice faint and wavering. “They’re innocent in this...they’re only just children...”

“My lady, are...are you alright?” Barnaby asked, reaching out to grasp Oira’s hand. Her eyes were unfocused and listless and all at once she crumbled to the floor as every muscle holding her up failed her. Barnaby fell to his knees, looking upon the Princess in anguish. “Oh –! Oh my lady!”

It seemed to break everyone from their introspection as they looked down at the unconscious woman. Keral stepped up and slipped his hand behind her shoulders and propped her up. “Oi, lass. Come on now, stay with us.”

“Gods above, m’lady!” Barnaby fretted, wiping his hands down her face and lightly patting her cheek, but there was no response. “Oh, please, answer me dear.”

“Mama!” Nenani went to her mother’s side. Her skin was clammy. “Mama? What’s wrong with her?”

“Don’t worry Sweetling. She’s just fainted is all,” Keral replied and looked to King Warren, who stared broodingly over the proceedings, his eyes shining. “After I fished Nenani from the river, she came out of the woods and tried to sneak away with her. She thought I meant t’hurt her girl. When I told her where I was takin’ the lil ‘un, she asked me to take her lil’ boy as well. Then she told me what she’s just told all of ye. Took a grand effort fer me to get her here. Fretted the entire way. Not all that surprised he fainted.”

Nenani let their conversations wash over her as she stared at her mother’s prone form. How many times did she wish for her mother to miraculously appear and make her feel better. To protect her. To chase away the nightmares. But now that she had actually appeared, Nenani felt...disappointed. And it made her hate herself for feeling that way. Her mother was broken and hurt and even she could see in her mother’s eyes the scars left from baring the life she had for so many years. In all her wishing, it had always been for her mother to come save her, but now she could not shake the feeling that it was her mother that needed saving. She was dimly aware of her hands beginning to glow, but she felt no desire to quell them. She wanted to feel the pain and to scream out like she did at the river. For that release. It hurt. It hurt so much to see her mother this way. So changed from the person shew knew. She hated him for what he did to her. Aidus was a monster and she hated him...

“Gods above!” came Barnaby’s startled yelp. “Nenani–!”

“Sweetling,” Keral said shortly. “Yer sparkin’ again, lass.”

She looked down at herself to see her hands and forearms up to her elbows were glowing and the fainted flames flickering at her finger tips.  

“Calm, my friends. It is to be expected,” said Maevis as he reached out and gathered her up into his gloved hands, wholly unconcerned with the flames. Looking into his face, Nenani could see him smiling sadly at her. “She is newly bloomed and the current state of emotions do not lend for a calm environment. Her feelings are feeding the mage fire, but it is harmless. A fire mage has to be taught how hurt people with their flames. It does not come naturally.” He brushed a finger against her cheek and Nenani pressed her face into the touch. “You’re alright, my dear. No harm done.”  

The King said nothing as he rose abruptly from his seat, the sound of the wood scraping loudly, and he walked to the window; drawing everyone’s attentions to him. He raised an arm up and rested against the glass as he stared at the world beyond its pane. “I never could understand,” he said at last. “Why my brother would have been in Silvaara. There was no reason for it to anyone’s knowledge. My father was so grief stricken that he would hear nothing of it unless it was to blame Silvaarans for luring him there under false pretenses. To deliberately invoke a war. Because how else did he get there? He must have gone under his own volition. And I suppose that was true.”

Warren turned his head so as to look upon the woman laying unconscious atop his desk, his eyes narrowed.

“Sire,” Barnaby said, his face pleading. “I beg of you to show her your mercy. She was but a girl at the time. Barely seventeen and with child and facing banishment from her home and having herself erased from the history of our country. There was no malice in her actions, she was only scared. She loved your brother.”

“Calm yourself, Barnabas. You do not need to fear for her,” said the King as he turned back to face the room. His eyes lingering upon Oira’s face and the hard steel of his eyes softened. “I do remember her. Thadeus considered her an intimate friend. And though it pains me greatly to know that such amiable feelings were what brought him to the scene of his own death, I do not blame Annie. She did not kill Thadeus, whatever the guilt she carries. This Aidus person was the one to drive the blade into my brother’s heart. My eldest brother’s memory is one of the last pure things I have left of my family. I cherish it beyond words knowing he was a good man. A true friend and if he had been given the chance, a noble King.” He took a breath and released it slowly. “And if he were here right now, he would not blame the Princess in the least. Nor shall I.” The King looked to Nenani and seeing the fretful way she stared back, he smiled warmly. “You have nothing to fear, Nenani. I shall see to it that your mother is taken care of and is given the rest and care she needs.”

“Thank you, sire,” she said, though the flames of her hands only diminished minutely and she looked down at them glumly.

“And should you feel any shame or misgivings of having bloomed,” he added. “Please know that you are still under my protection. You’re new...talent does nothing to change that.”

The flames slowly faded and dispersed and she smiled through her own tears. “Okay.”

“Hm,” Warren said with a nod before shifting his focus to the Ranger Captain. “Keral, she spoke of another child. A son. Do we know where he is?”

“Oh, aye. Little buggars’s sleepin’ right here in my pack there,” Keral replied and eased Oira back down onto the table. Pulling up the pack, he reached inside to scoop up the sleeping child and holding him out as though to show him off to those gathered around. Haiyer was curled up and quietly sucking on his hand, the bluish stone Nenani had given him gripped tightly in the other, and he oblivious to everything and everyone around him. The King broke out into a wide smile as he looked upon the boy.

“My goodness, he is a little thing,” he said. “Just a babe.”

“Skittish lil’ tyke too,” Keral said with a frustrated huff. “Had to tell him humans taste like dirt so he would believe me when I said I wasn’t gonna eat ‘im.”

“Gods above,” Rheil chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“What is his name?” asked the King.

“Haiyer,” Nenani answered from Maevis’s cupped hands. “His name is Haiyer.”

“Haiyer,” Barnaby said with a sad smile. “Named for his paternal Grandfather. He was the Thorn Guard Captain. Hayron was his eldest son.”

There was a small whine from Keral’s hand and Nenani looked to see that Haiyer has woken up and was now looking at the giants around him with unapologetic terror. He began to whimper in fright.

“Oi, now,” Keral said down to the little boy. “What’s all this noise fer, lad? Yer safe.”

“Mama...” the child whined as he looked around and when he finally spotted her down below and unconscious, he started to wail. “MAMA!”

It was then that Oira began to stir, her eyes slowly opening and Barnaby helped her to sit up. “Slowly, m’lady,” Barnaby said. “That’s it.”

“MAMA!” Haiyer cried again.

Oira suddenly jolted, becoming alert and frantic as she looked around herself. “Haiyer? Where is Haiyer?”

“Calm down, lass,” Keral said as he brought his hand down to let the boy scramble off and throw himself into his mother’s arms. “The pup’s just had a bit of a fright.”

“You’re alright, baby,” she whispered to him. Oira looked around and belatedly saw the large Vhasshalans around her and she blushed a fierce scarlet. “My...my apologies, m’lords.”

The King reached down to pick up the small brass bell the laid to the side of his desk and gave it a single firm ring. A footman opened the door. “M’lord?”

“Inform Lolly that we have guests and have her prepare the Blossom room for Human use,” he said. “And bring Yaesha to me. He is to bring both Sawyer and his kit.”

“Very good, m’lord.” The footman left and the King returned his gaze to the young mother and still whimpering child trying to bury themselves into her skirts.

“M’lady, I understand the difficult circumstances that have brought you here to me,” he said, firmly, but not without kindness. Oira was listening with brittle attention, still looking quite pale and ill. “And I thank you for telling me the truth of my brother’s death, despite your clear apprehension in doing so. I will not speak of all that followed. There is no one here who had not been touched by the war. Too much of our lives have been devoted to it and it haunts too many of us still. I would have you know that you have no reason to fear retribution from neither me nor my house. Thadeus’s murder was not your doing nor do I blame you for what happened. What young mother wouldn’t do everything she could for her child?”

The King’s words seemed to make her mother wilt in relief and she hugged her son closer to her breast, fresh tears pouring from her eyes. “I...I am so very glad to hear you say so, m’lord. So very glad. I thank you for your mercy.”

With sympathetic eyes, Warren studied the woman who could not even meet his eye. The little boy peeked out from his mother’s sleeve, watching the King warily and monarch smiled down at him. “I can see plainly you have had a hard life. As such, I would like the opportunity to honor my brother’s legacy and extend an invitation to you and your son to stay here in Vhasshal, under my protection. Just as you daughter has these passed months. A room will be prepared for you and your children within the royal apartments so you may rest and recover in peace.”

She nodded again, stifling a sob.

“Annie,” the king said and waited until she had composed herself enough to meet his eye. “I am glad to see you again.”

#DUMPLING #G/t story #g/t writing #male giant #KING OF VHASSHAL #Warren #Keral #Oira #Nenani #Haiyer #Rheil #Maevis #Barnaby #Silvaara #Fantasy Story

[zuzuxtara]

Promises

Chapter 1/ ? 

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender

word count: +2k

Pairing: Zutara 

Characters: Katara, Zuko, little princess steambaby :D

“I couldn’t kill for my mother’s sake.”

He nodded in acknowledgement. Zuko recalled their encounter with her mother’s murderer all too well. How could he ever forget?

It had been the day she’d forgiven him.

It had been the day he’d come to worship her.

It had been the first day of coming home, although neither of them had known it then.

Yet.

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Day 

The Snow Moon illuminated the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation. Her Highness had fed plenty and was now resting her chubby cheek against her mother’s chest. A satisfied baby truly was a blessing. Humming, Katara kissed the sleeping infant’s head and leaned back against the silk pillows that had been arranged for her on the balcony. Bathing in the strong moonshine she felt her body recover, although she suspected that holding her baby close was the best way to restore her strength.

Pregnancy– nevermind caring for a newborn– had cost her a lot of energy, so she enjoyed the long calm nights in which her child was all her’s. 

Yet, Katara longed to train in her gardens again; to guide her element to the images of her mind for as long as she wished.

Her gaze fell over the many pools of water beneath her, and for a moment she was transported into another full moon night; into another time, really, one that was yet to come. In her imagination, she saw herself and her daughter, water and laughter dancing around them as they made rain become ice in the Fire Nation’s warm nights...

An owl screamed somewhere in the garden, startling her baby awake. Soft cries filled the night, and Katara began cradling the little princess. 

“Shh, my sweet, it’s all well. Mama is here.” 

She cooed and hummed until the cries faded again. Trusting amber eyes looked up at her. 

Whom was she fooling? Zuko had said it was too early to tell, but Katara knew this child had fire in her eyes; the same way she’d known they would have a little princess long before she’d given birth. It had been intuition then and it was intuition now. Mothers knew things like these. 

The irony wasn’t lost on her, though. Who would’ve thought that she – Master Waterbender Katara– had carried a little flame inside her belly for nine entire months? 

She’d even born her into water. In hindsight, it might explain why the birth had been so painfully long and difficult. Her Highness simply hadn’t wanted her inner flame to be dimmed upon entering the world. Katara knew a stubborn child when she saw one, and this one had already proven to be nothing but. 

In her life, she’d tended to many children, had at times even felt like a mother to strangers as well. Before she’d had her own child, Katara had thought she’d known love, but where the infant’s soft brown skin met her own, there kindled feelings she hadn’t been aware of being capable of. 

Only one word came to her mind that was able to explain those new feelings to an extent. 

It was an old word– a lone survivor of a long-dead language once spoken by her ancestors. It was older than her Gran Gran, older than anything Katara had ever laid eyes upon. 

Mothers must’ve whispered it to their babies since the first ice when the nights had been endless and the fire in their homes still new. There was no translation for it. No other word she knew could compare to the feelings it declared. 

Katara whispered the word to her daughter now and she would whisper it to the end of all times.

It wasn’t just a word, but a promise– one that made her understand why her own mother had decided to die for her so easily all those years ago. 

She also understood that she would never be capable of making the same decision– not if she could help it. Katara already knew that she couldn’t bear being without her child in life nor death.

Rather than dying, Katara would kill for her. 

She would choke whoever wanted to harm her baby with their own blood. 

She would rip them apart with her sharpened bones. 

She would erase them with her very soul if it only meant her baby would be safe. 

Katara was a child of war and although Sokka would deny it, she was a warrior, too. 

You had to be one if you wanted to survive in the ever icy tundras of the place she’d been born in; where nothing living could take root, yet her people had prevailed ever since. 

It didn’t matter to her that her daughter wouldn’t bend water.

It didn’t matter that her skin was several shades lighter than her own.

It didn’t matter that her features were only a muted reflection of her own. 

She was Katara’s flesh and her blood and she would carry the heart of her ancestors in the deep, stubborn South. 

It didn’t make much of a difference in the ever warm climate of the Fire Nation, but their Crown Princess had been born in the depths of Winter– a time, so Watertribe legend had it, that brought forth only the strongest, most resilient of children. That was what mattered to Katara. 

Her daughter, too, would prevail. It was all she asked for. If necessary, she would make sure of it– whatever the cost.  

And perhaps...

Katara’s fantasy shifted. The little girl that trained with her in the gardens turned into a toddler– a boy that looked an awful lot like her brother when they’d been children. Water bent sloppily in tune with his shrill laughter; his big sister and father enthusiastically cheered him on from the very balcony Katara was sitting on now… 

She chuckled. Her belly hadn’t even shrunken back to its normal size yet, and she was already thinking of another child. 

“Are you coming?”

Her husband’s drowsy words drew her out of her thoughts. In the far distance, just behind the mountains, Katara could see morning’s first touches. She cursed softly. 

Since they both had busy schedules, they’d made it a habit to always spend time together just before dawn; when night faded and day had yet to begin. It was their middle ground and usually the only peaceful time of their days and nights.

“Oh no! Look how early it is already!” Apologetically, she took the hand Zuko offered to help her up. “Have you been waiting long?” 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and gently took their daughter out of her arms, cradling her to his bare broad chest instead. The sight always made Katara swoon a little bit. 

“Looked like you two had a lot to talk about. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

They went inside the bedroom, laying their daughter down into her crib. Zuko looked through the ridiculous accumulation of precious blankets they’d been gifted upon the little princess’ birth. Finally, he chose the one with the beaded-embroidery of a solar eclipse to tuck her in.

The parents looked down at the sleeping child in silent awe. She was just a few weeks old, but the memory of life before she’d been born felt already surreal. 

They didn’t have to tell each other how much they loved, how much more they would sacrifice in a heartbeat, for this child or any other that might one day bless their family; but tonight she needed to tell him anyway. 

“I was thinking about my mother earlier.” 

“Oh?” Zuko knew his daughter’s namesake wasn’t necessarily a happy topic for his wife; and how could it, when her mother’s life had been taken in such a barbaric manner – in the name of his own father.

Not fighting the shame that rose inside him, Zuko reached for her hand. Katara reached back and he still – after all those years – could almost not believe it. 

Zuko knew what losing a mother felt like, yet he could never compare his pain to what Katara had been through. 

They beheld little Kya in silence for a moment, then their gazes met over the crib. 

“I couldn’t kill for my mother’s sake.” 

He nodded in acknowledgement. Zuko recalled their encounter with her mother’s murderer all too well. How could he ever forget? 

It had been the day she’d forgiven him.

It had been the day he’d come to worship her. 

It had been the first day of coming home, although neither of them had known it then. 

Yet.

Katara let her thumb run over the palm of his hand. Her eyes clouded over, seeing scenes Zuko could never fathom. It took several minutes for her to speak.

“They always expect parents to die for their children. So that we can do better. So that we can stay innocent.” 

Her gaze found their baby again.

“But I look at her and I know – I just know– I would kill for her. Should it ever come down to it, I won’t hesitate. Not for a second. If the day comes, I will soil my soul for this child, Zuko. I swear it.”

Her words hung between them in the morning air. It sounded like an oath and Zuko knew it was exactly that. 

“What an ungrateful daughter I am.” Suddenly, tears began pooling in Katara’s bright blue eyes, “I couldn’t avenge my mother and now I can’t even honour her dying wish.”

Gently, he pulled her towards him, the bed, into his arms. He dried her tears, fought his own. 

They embraced.  

“I will do anything to keep that day away.” He whispered into her thick hair. An oath in return.

Zuko could feel her calming breath against his throat the same way he could feel the sun rise in the sky. They held each other for a while– schedules be damned. Damn the world, if they couldn’t be there for each other. 

Morning couldn’t be denied any longer, though. Katara’s body grew steadily heavier against his and he was almost sure she was asleep when she slowly looked up at him. 

“But if it comes…” she yawned, closing her eyes again. “Promise you won’t hold me back, Zuko.”

Holding her a little tighter, he pressed a kiss against her temple. Zuko smiled almost sadly. “As if I ever could.” 

After some minutes, he moved gingerly to lay his sleeping wife down on the bed. She’d had a long night and an even longer day ahead of her... 

He would have her secretary come up with some excuses to reschedule her appointments for the day. Katara deserved to sleep in.   

He rested her head on the pillow and put a blanket over her. Carefully, Zuko brushed some hair out of her face– but in vain. Her eyes opened yet again and grabbed for his hand. He could see that she was captured somewhere between sleep and waking, but she spoke nonetheless.  

“I mean it. I need you to promise.” 

Caressing her beautiful face, he laid down next to her. 

Maybe his secretary could make some excuses for his absence, too. 

“The day I hold you back is the day I stop loving you, Katara.” 

She nodded slowly. 

“And that day will never come. Promised.” 

He held her for a little longer, making sure Katara was in deep slumber before finally daring to get up for the day. 

Zuko went back over to the beautifully crafted crib that Hakoda had made for his granddaughter. Even the tiniest of details had been carved with the utmost care and love– Zuko would cherish the piece forever; hopefully by using it for more than one child...  

Looking into the bed of blankets, curious amber eyes looked back at him. With every day, it became clearer to him that Kya woke with the sun, too. 

As usual, Katara had probably been right– their little princess was a firebender. 

Although it didn’t change his love for her in the slightest, he was already excited to teach his daughter to control her element in years to come. 

Zuko bent down to stroke Kya’s silken black hair, to gently poke her tiny, wide nose.

Sometimes, he was still astonished that he’d taken part in creating something so utterly perfect.

“Good morning, my heart.” 

Kya cooed as if in answer. Smiling, he took her into his arms and carried her out to the balcony. Like every morning, they took in the day’s first weak sun rays together.

Zuko pointed at this early bird or that sparkling pool of water, at some flowers or the mountains to the east. He was honoured to show her the world for which he and her mother and so many others were working tirelessly to make better. Damn him if he left his daughter the world as he’d once found it. As Katara had said– that was what parents were there for, wasn’t it? To make sure their children could do better than them, to have them keep their innocence for as long as possible. 

Knowing that it was naïve, Zuko wished for a perfectly peaceful world. Yet, Katara’s words confirmed that a world like that did not exist and never would. 

I would kill for her…

Zuko knew Katara had meant it; he didn’t doubt that she would sacrifice her morales and soul, her very being, for their daughter. He resonated with Katara’s sentiment, although Zuko understood her mother’s decision so much better. He, too, would gladly lay his life down for his family. 

Zuko’s own mother had killed so that he could live, true– but in the end, he and his sister had paid the price. He touched the dead skin around his eyes subconsciously. 

In the end, to kill or die would harm little Kya either way; there was no compromising in a war like this. She deserved to have both parents at her side, for however long they were given time to guide and love her.

Protecting wasn’t about killing and dying, really. It was about cherishing what was bestowed upon them. To keep the bad at bay with wisdom and compassion.

Zuko rocked the child on his hip. 

“Your mother and I will keep you safe, all right? You will never be alone. Don’t you ever worry, my child.”

Kya grabbed for a strand of his hair, never taking her eyes off her father’s face.

“I promise.”

He kissed her head and went back inside, towards duty. 

There was still lots of work to do.  

#atla #zutara #zutarafic #zuko #katara #zutara fandom #zuko x katara #ff #e writes

[icosmohunters]

chapter three : crimson red

chapter three of cosmo hunters!

word count : 6.6k words

synopsis : an agreement has been met and now hope has agreed to take these pirates under her wing. literally. now, she continues to be on the hunt for the criminal on top of her bounty list. and she intends to make it work. but something in her bones tells her that perhaps it won’t work as smoothly as she’d planned.

“ would you mind warning us when you’re taking off? ”.

“ my ship, my rules. i don’t owe you the comfort of a warning, pirate. ”

was she being mean? it didn’t particularly matter if she was because she had fallen asleep, and like a protagonist out of a shounen anime, she was rushing to get herself away from her current location and to where she had to be. j-colony was waiting for her! and a dozen bounty points waited in reward.

hope hadn’t expected anyone to wake her up, so she mainly at fault for letting the ball drop and taking too long to wake up. but the warmth in the cabin and the full stomach she had after a proper meal sent her into dreamland shortly after she sat on her navigation chair. 

and upon waking up, hope had gasped herself out of her daze and launched her right arm forced, sending the engine lever forward and the engine roaring with life. she could hear all of the extra bits of the ship, like the iron legs folding into the bottom of the ship when it began to rise off the ground. 

nebula was hovering for a moment until a button lit up on the left side of the control panel, a green light giving her clearance to blast off. wrapping her trembling fingers on the orientation stick, she moved it forward and the nebula followed, moving forward just an inch before hope let out a laugh and threw the stick forward.

and with that, nebula blasted off. 

of course, anyone on board the ship could tell that nebula had taken herself out of europa’s atmosphere and freed herself from its pull and its ice. the engine was heating up, and so was the ship, so much so that outer layers of frost had melted within seconds. the ship shifted a couple of times, rocking to the side before it found its balance point and took off into outer space, heading straight for jupiter.

of course, someone had come into her cabin, probably awoken by the small earthquake that had just taken place within the spaceship.

it was enzo. hope kept her gaze fixed in front of her as she saw the dense gas giant who rotated rapidly, the winds there were said to be enough to rip the very skin off your body. good thing that the j-colony was designed to withstand those strong winds.

“ i get that but you could’ve woken us up. we shouldn’t have slept for that long either so, yeah. maybe have your a.i set up an alarm clock? ”.

“ mhm, yup. ”

hope wasn’t listening at all. she was listening but she wasn’t taking any of it in, mostly because she was brain-storming. it had been said that crimson would be in a plaza or some sort, a shopping center set up in the middle of the colony. and to be fair, j-colony was perhaps the largest one in the solar system, around five times the size of the biggest capital city on earth, beijing.

so if this prick took off running when he spotted her, he would travel a lot. it was why she needed to organize maybe a hoverbike to hunt him down in case he took off. because as fit as she was, hope didn’t like running. she hated it.

so, a hoverbike along with some new weapons, perhaps a new collection of tracking devices . . . she was counting it on her fingers now that she had put nebula on auto-pilot.

oh, and enzo was still talking.

“ and might i say, i am quite good at navigating so maybe if you were, uh, feeling sick, you could always let me take over ”, he spoke.

“ if i could choose between you and my pet dog navigating the nebula, i choose my pet dog. and he passed away last year. that’s how much i won’t trust you, or anyone, with my ship ”, hope snapped back quickly, swerving her chair around to face the pirate captain. he had changed into some new clothes, he looked less dead than a couple of hours ago but the bruise on his cheek still remained.

enzo seemed at a loss for words for a moment, until he seemed to gather some. “ i was just offering, jeez. but uhm, quinn told me you were hunting someone down. why do we have to stay on the ship?”, he questioned.

“ because i said so. ”

watching his reactions was rather amusing, he exuded such confidence but would then become flustered when the trail of the conversation didn’t seem like it was going his way. if anything, it was funny. “ how about an actual reason, captain? ”, he asked.

“ i just gave you one. ”

“ no, i mean like a proper answer. we could help you, you know. we’re capable fighters. i mean, minus little dawn but still! we can help, all you can do is give us a plan and we’ll follow it, simple and clean, no worries about it! ”, enzo sounded so optimistic that hope almost didn’t want to reply.

“ pirates don’t do simple and clean, i swear ”, hope commented, tilting her head and seeing the energy draining from enzo’s face, his hands dropping to his side whilst his eyes simply rolled. “ i can’t understand why you came here expecting to mingle with my issues like we’re a team or something. i’m a solo bounty hunter, i don’t need help. let alone help from pirates who all have bounties. but if you want to step outside and get caught, be my guest. but i’m still taking you darlings to pluto and i’d recommend not dying on the way there. ”

enzo grunted, “ okay. but if you end up getting hurt, we won’t have anyone to take us to where we have to be. ” 

hope blinked slowly. “ you can take the space bus. teleporter. gate-ways. fuck’s sake, man, it’s not rocket science. but if you’re so fond of my ship, keep out of trouble whilst you’re on it! ”, she argued back quickly. he made an injury to hope sound like the end of the world.

“ yeah, but . . . ”.

“ whatever your concern is, it’s irrelevant to me for the time being. so, before i lose it, i suggest getting out of the cabin. do what you want but just don’t go into my room or the basement ”, she explained firmly, and then waved him off in a dismissive manner. “ go, shoo. ”

he looked like he had more to say, but whatever those words were, they were left unspoken as he turned and walked towards the elevator and soon disappeared from the room. sighing into her hands, hope began to massage her temples.

she wasn’t used to having people around, so she found herself snapping rather frequently. she didn’t realize how much she disliked it until now, but in a single second, she found herself giving less of a fuck. because she didn’t have to be friends with them, and she didn’t have to treat them like there could be any bond between any of them. 

so the guilt which she felt vanished within a second. 

realizing that she would have to get changed into her gear, hope continued to leave nebula on auto-pilot and programmed a speed boost in around thirty minutes. a speed boost would surpass the speed of light and bring those millions of miles between nebula and jupiter’s surface down to a couple of seconds of traveling. and not to mention the fact that the gas giant’s gravitational pull was tyrant-like, it would be like teleporting to the surface.

after leaving the navigation cabin, hope descended down to her room, the iron doors sliding open upon detecting her presence and she looked at her vacant bed and then towards her closet. snapping her fingers, the closet door swung open and a holographic screen followed. 

“ what kind of clothes are you looking for today, hope? ”, a.j’s voice boomed through as the doors slid closed behind her and as she moved towards the wardrobe.

“ usual hunting clothes. depending on the weather, i might bring a jacket just in case. but i doubt it’ll be cold at j-colony ”, hope spoke. from the holographic screen, she went through her clothes and picked everything, from black crop top down to the baggy, military jackets in black and grey. even the boots with jets on the soles. “ my jacket’s been washed, right? ”.

“ yes, all of your clothes were washed and dried during your small nap. your shoes have also been polished and the jet on the boots you’ve chosen has been fixed. ”

“ wonderful ”.

after her clothes were delivered to her, she reached for the bottom of her top and slowly slipped it off, figuring that it was safe to do it but that’s when she heard the door open and her eyes flickered over to the door. dom had walked in without even announcing he was there.

when their eyes met, hope just saw his eyes flicker down and a slight redness that reached his cheeks. she was only in her sports bra but somehow it invoked a reaction of embarrassment from dom’s face. 

“ uhm. ”

“ do you practice the art of walking in on people whilst they’re changing? ”, hope asked rhetorically, averting her gaze back to her clothes as she put her vest to the side and then put on the comfortable crop top that had a very nice turtleneck detail to it. 

“ n-not exactly, but, uhm, dawn is asking where you keep all of your medical kits and if she can have a look. she has no resources and enzo’s bruise is still purple ”, he actually turned away, so hope continued to change comfortably. she lacked that self-awareness and sense of embarrassment. quite frankly, she didn’t have to hide when he had been the one who waltzed in like he owned the place.

hope rose a brow whilst attaching her straps around her trousers and then her belt and pouches. “ the bunks have storages on the side. i don’t go in there so the medical kits in the cupboards and shelves are still there ”, she explained. then came her jacket, navy blue in color which somewhat matched the navy blue of the voyage badge pinned to it.

“ not to be rude but your ship seemingly hides everything, that room is bare except for the bunks and the huge ass window looking out into space ”, dom continued. hope turned and walked to him whilst adjusting her belt. he seemingly took notice of her and jumped slightly. “ so if you could give better directions, we might be able to find it. ”

“ on the board of every bed, there’s storage space. if you tap against the board, it’ll open up and you’ll see all the medical kits and spare clothes and whatnot. maybe even the blankets that i keep stored just in case ”, the bounty hunter told him, exiting her room along with him and nodding towards where the rooms were. “ shouldn’t be too hard now, right? ”.

“ could have said it the first time ”, dom muttered under his breath. but hope chose to ignore it. seeing that he was walking away, she decided to say something before letting him go.

“ next time you decide you want to walk on me shirtless, knock. and pay me, i’m not a free sculpture at the museum ”, she called over to him and saw him throw a glare over his shoulder. hope chuckled amusingly, watching him disappear down the hall. “ asshole. ”

after that encounter, hope decided that it would be best to have a look around the ship to make sure all was working properly. checking the lounge, she found the t.v turned on and quinn listening to the news broadcast. the vending machines were on, many of the game tables were idle and ready to be used and mostly everything looked in place. deciding not to disturb quinn, hope left the lounge quickly.

then she checked the kitchen. all seemed to be in place, the dishwasher could be heard briefly but all was well. nothing out of place. and then after checking the basement and the storage space, hope decided to return to her navigation cabin. she recalled that the speed boost was happening in a couple of minutes, and the way enzo complained a while back that she should’ve told them when she was going to take off. 

it would be best to warn them about the speed boost, just case they got a slight shock from it. and besides, as far as she was aware, they weren’t expecting it. so she tapped the intercom mic present on the side of her chair and pressed the announcement button. 

“ listen up, everyone. in two minutes, nebula will use a speed boost. that inherently means that she’ll zoom in the direction of our friendly gas giant and when she does, you might feel a slight shake. and in case we suffer some wind turbulence, i suggest hanging onto something ”, hope told them. “ i will announce it just ten seconds before the real thing. i suggest preparing yourselves now. ”

perhaps they were aware of what a speed boost was, after all, they were pirates. but nebula’s engine had restored and she was faster than ever, especially with a speed boost. anyone with travel sickness may find themselves in a lot of trouble. it was why hope slipped on her seat-belt when the countdown came to fifty seconds.

and when the ten-second countdown came, she turned the intercom on once more with a smirk grazing her lips. her adrenaline rush always came from moments like these, where she truly felt like she was in control of something. even if it was a spaceship somewhere in the milkyway galaxy, it was still something she could control.

“ strap in, ladies and gentlemen. we’re now descending into jupiter. ”

time skip  ﹏ 

every time hope enters the atmosphere of another planet, she always goes through a series of chills and goosebumps all over her body. it’s a thrilling experience to be stepping into territory they didn’t think they were able to reach a hundred years ago. but mankind had taken more than a step now, it had taken a leap. and now, humans had invaded other planets, setting up a dozen colonies and extracting resources and truly beginning to learn about the universe. the planets we used to see only through telescopes, now before our very eyes.

jupiter, unlike many planets in the solar system, did not have a solid ground like their home on earth. it was a gas giant, composed predominantly of hydrogen and helium in its atmosphere. so you may ask, how did mankind touch base here?

that’s simple; they didn’t touch anything.

through a lot of hard work, they had managed to set up the floating colony, held up by energy that can easily be generated from the very winds of the planet. and considering there was no oxygen, the colony was covered by a dome-like cover providing visitors with the oxygen they required. it was truly something out of a sci-fi movie.

but it was reality, humanity had really taken huge leaps into improving living standards around the galaxy. whole apartments and forms of accommodation were made and built to fit the humans born when the earth couldn’t take anymore. that’s why humans left in the first place. resources began to lack and human populations would not stop growing. 

and that’s why huge colonies like j-colony take her breath away every time hope sees it. as nebula breached through the reds and oranges of jupiter, she thought the clouds were never going to clear. it was always storming season on this gas giant, but it never rained water like it did on earth. in actuality, it rained diamonds, so hope held her breath when small bits of crystals began to fall against the window she looked out of. of course, nebula could take practically anything. so it didn’t worry her too much, even though she would die if there were scratches on the window.

after shaking a bit, hope reeled the orientation stick back and forced nebula to lift up slightly instead of driving herself straight down. and soon enough, after about another minute of the diamond rain, her eyes brightened at the way the clouds cleared and there it stood, well, floated, j-colony.

it’s difficult to describe the appearance of j-colony without comparing it to the castle aincrad as it is depicted in that one anime you either love or hate. it was a floating metal structure that seemed completely resistant to the thundering winds trying to push it from its secured position. a floating city with many branches and other floating islands of metal scattered around. it was huge. it’s impossible to measure its size in numbers, it was simply enormous in every sense of the word.

“ nbla-43, do you have clearance to access the docks of j-colony? ”.

hope’s heart jumped in her chest as she respired out a sigh of relief, realizing that it was only the control and flight officers who were able to detect the arrival of every ship, even in ghastly weather conditions like these. they truly didn’t miss a thing, this stupid corporation.

“ yes. sending voyage inc identification details over ”, the bounty hunter exclaimed nervously, and then pressed a button. there were many buttons on the control panel, but she specifically chose a transmission option, sending the same details on the chip on her badge over through encrypted signals. usually, pirates wait around for someone to do something like hope is doing in order to reach out and swiftly snatch the details of a pilot. and upon acquiring these details, god knows what they’re capable of.

identity theft, to put it simply.

hope waited patiently for a reply and soon received one. “ thank you, hope. welcome to j-colony. please proceed to dock e, eastbound of the city ”, the voice seeped through and then disconnected, just like that. they were busy people, after all, accepting a dozen ships hourly.

just like that, hope sped nebula up and weaved in between many ships and other iron structures like communication towers and satellites, doing a fair lot of work to avoid damaging them. soon, she had reached the east docks. getting closer will startle you as you realize the city you were looking at was larger than you’d expected. hope felt like an ant even in the nebula in comparison to the size of this monolith. behemoth as it was, it was impossible not to feel intimidated by it all. 

approaching the docks, hope saw many ships, of all editions and brands, parked, restoring their fuel or merely parked with pilots happily stepping out with relief on their expressions. the docks alone were immense and seemed to go on forever, but then she found a vacant space. 

quickly, she parked nebula, allowing the folded iron legs to touch the ground and for the engine to relax. 

“ hope, would you like to have my battery restored? ”, a.j’s voice swept through smoothly as the bounty hunter took off her belt and then rose from her chair. “ i’ll be idle but you have everything planned out, correct? ”.

“ ‘course. don’t worry, you can be idle for as long as it takes you to be fully recharged. see you later, sultry man ”, hope teased and chuckled when the idle jingle played, meaning that a.j would be inactive for a couple of hours. this usually causes her to panic because she doesn’t have the compass to guide her. but she had it all planned out. she had around an hour to be where she had to be, and she had paged for a hoverbike and from the movement that she heard outside, it was being brought to her. 

so upon collecting all the required tools and her preferred weapon, she took the elevator down to the exit. she didn’t really care to tell the pirates that she was leaving, they already knew what they had to do and what the right thing to do was. if they went against it, it wouldn’t really be her fault. but she prayed that perhaps they would. that they would stay out of trouble.

the exit and entrance hatchet opened and nebula’s flight of stairs touched the ground. so hope descended the said staircase, taking a small inhale and exhale as she reminded her that all would be well. she’s been doing this for years. nothing could go wrong.

“ good evening, hope. we have your hoverbike here with us ”, a young fellow said as she approached. he wore the voyage uniform, a navy blue semi-formal jacket, and some decent black trousers. “ you said you’d need it for how long? ”.

“ for however long it takes me to catch a wanted criminal ”, hope replied simply, and then looked at the hoverbike. it was perhaps even sexier than her own spaceship, no offense to nebula. it’s difficult to describe the complex shape of the vehicle, but the lack of wheels and the smooth metal and details that it contained was something worth staring at. “ aww, you even chose the model i requested for. ”

“ we tend to show special treatment for prolific bounty hunters here. j-colony is huge, so hunting criminals here is perhaps the hardest thing we have to deal with. just know that we’re very pleased you decided to take up the bounty for crimson. he’s been running around causing mayhem for ages. we need him to go, immediately ”, the young man explained with a meager shrug. 

“ uh-huh. right, well i won’t be gone for long. i’ve been hunting this guy done for ages. now, if you’ll excuse me ”, hope began and then found a helmet being handed to her. the lack of metal on it was concerning but the design was lovely, especially after realizing it contained a gps and map feature that would make things a whole lot better. “ oh, thanks. ”

“ take care, hope. ”

nodding, hope watched the young man walk away to make another delivery. she slipped on her fingerless gloves and pressed a sensor on her wrist, it would connect her with nebula and her status, making sure nothing has been damaged and that most importantly, that no one in there would leave. putting the helmet on, her vision wasn’t at all affected by the holographic map and compass that came up against the glass. it made everything feel proximate and precise, just what she wanted.

hope hummed and rose an eyebrow, impressed. it was clear that she was. in fact, she made a mental note to get her hands on a hoverbike herself. and a helmet exactly like this one. 

“ well, let’s go, shall we? ”.

it didn’t take exactly too long for hope to get the hang of the controls on the hoverbike. as soon as her hands touched the handgrips, the engine seemed to roar to life and the rear end of the vehicle rose. hope gulped at the uncomfortable height in which it rose, but knew comfort was the last of her worries. she had fifty minutes to get where she had to be.

of course, being in a tense situation, hope needed to unwind. it was why before she even began to drive, she pulled up a song-player and typed in her needed track. especially in a situation like this. it’s not every day she can explore the j-colony. so might as well do it in style!

blinding lights by the weeknd, if that’s not a more appropriate track, she doesn’t know what is. 

soon after starting the song, the hoverbike was moving. hope wrapped her fingers tightly around the handgrips as it moved. first, it moved from the docks, following blaring signs telling her of the directions she needed. the docks were enormous, but that’s when she spotted something which seemed like a high road in the distance, with vehicles passing frequently. approaching the said road, she looked towards both sides. one side led to the residence quarters, and the other towards the inner city.

and the inner city was where she had to be. so she dipped as soon as there was space to fit into the road. and gradually gaining speed, hope took a right and soon found herself flying through a clear, straight road that led directly under a bridge of some sort, it drove into the huge structure and hope wondered just how long it would take for her to exit these docks.

but it didn’t matter too much. she had time. and she was in a particularly good mood now. as worried as she was about those pirates, she needed to sort her priorities. the hoverbike was picking up speed as it now headed into a tunnel, the ceiling and walls decorated with white, neon lines which were probably there more for decoration rather than for avoiding accidents. it was like entering a dream sequence as her eyes followed the lengthy lights, she blinked maybe once or twice upon tearing up. 

so she stared ahead instead, choosing not to stare for too long in case it damaged her eyes. her eyes flickered to the map. she had typed in the coordinates for the wanted location and it was a good ten minute ride from her. so she sped up, wanting to get there just in case crimson chose to come early.

the tunnel soon came to an end, and hope audibly gasped when light broke through and she found that the road cleared . . . no roof, no walls, but that’s when she saw the glass and realized the road had been enclosed by a tube of some sort. but it did a good job of making her believe that she was standing freely in jupiter’s atmosphere. 

the orange and red clouds, the falling diamonds, it was a mixture of different elements that made for a lush painting of some sort. her eyes widened as they continued to gawk at the view, she saw lightning in the distance and her adrenaline bolted through her veins in an instant. oh, the idea of taking nebula on a ride near the great red spot . . . it was a suicide mission but it would satisfy her daredevil antics. 

now picking up speed, hope weaved in between vehicles; buses, cars, more hoverbikes. her eyes flickered over a plastered ad on the side of a bus, a festival that would be taking place in j-colony. she wondered whether she would be able to come, it might be fun . . . but the world was calling and she couldn’t ignore it.

the road carried on for miles and miles, her eyes were aching from the many tunnels she continued to travel through until the exit of the last tunnel gave birth to perhaps the most beautiful sight hope has ever seen.

j-colony was the definition of metropolis heaven. the skyscrapers were too tall for her to observe with her eyes alone, a crane of the head was required to see every light from every skyscraper scattered among this landscape painting of dreams. enormous billboards were planted on the side of buildings, advertising all sorts of things. from food to the newest model of honda’s jet shoes, it was endless.

hope saw purples and reds and yellows and blues, even some colors which she can’t even name. but she knew one thing, they were beautiful. that’s when she noticed people. they walked on side-walks, on the bridges hung over this insane road, normal people accustomed to a world of dazzling lights. 

it was so vibrant and colorful that hope didn’t even realize she had to take a sharp turn to the left until the map’s red dot began to beep. “ oh, shit! ”, she cursed and swiftly indicated before cutting left, hearing various beeps behind her but she didn’t think to apologize. she sighed, that’s what happens when you get caught up in the beauty of cities like these. 

cutting left, she took another main road but that’s when she began to see things that were expected. shops, dozens of shops with neon lights inviting guests in with obscure shop names. hope saw shopping malls, cinemas, game centers, arcades, it seemed to go on forever and ever. and to be fair, she never wanted it to stop. 

hope looked to the top corner to her helmet and saw that she was getting closer to her red spot, her required location. so she sped up, not wanting to waste any time. humming along to the song that would soon be coming to an end, she cut a right and then another right and soon, she had reached what seemed to be a shopping district, with a towering fountain in the middle of it. of course, she couldn’t take the bike there so she had to find a parking spot. and it didn’t take too long for that to happen.

upon parking, she turned the engine off and craned her head up for a hot second, just to view the nearby skyscraper whose billboard was playing an a.i advertisement, one recommending owners to give a.i’s appearances, but upon seeing the price of the installments, hope chose to go without.

so, now she had arrived at her target location. seeing around, she realized that it wouldn’t be too easy to spot crimson even if he was wearing the most camp outfit imaginable.

except, upon checking her notes, she had spotted that crimson tended to wear obscure hair colors, ranging from bright reds to blues and greens. but looking around, most people tended to do that as well. so she hoped that perhaps she would be able to recognize a suspicious figure with some bizarre hair color and assume it’s the guy she’s looking for.

and without a.j’s company, she was forced to wait patiently. her thoughts drifted to the pirates for a moment, wondering just what they were doing and imagining them doing anything else but going against her orders. they weren’t stupid, so perhaps they would be smart enough to dodge trouble.

but what if they went directly against her orders? what then? something in her bones told that it was too ambitious to trust those pirates. that she was being too optimistic and that she had more reasons to get rid of them than to keep them around. for years, she’s been riding solo and has prevented catastrophic, career-ending events because she never allowed herself to trust anyone or work alongside anyone.

she was throwing her trust on the table, but now she wished to withdraw it.

hope suddenly felt something against her wrist vibrate. her tracker had scanned the area and found someone fitting crimson’s profile, something she had set it to do automatically in case she got distracted by something else. and by the looks of things, that just happened. she got distracted by her worries over the pirates.

looking at her helmet map, she spotted a blue dot. and it was moving, closer to her and the fountain that she was looking directly. her stomach dropped when she spotted a male, she couldn’t exactly tell how old but he was young, his way of walking was with plenty of confidence, something she found odd. but that’s when she spotted the bubblegum blue hair and the mouth-mask he’d chosen to wear. a red mask. 

and as they say, everyone criminal is vain enough to have an item of identification. her blood was suddenly boiling as she lifted herself from the hoverbike and looked at this walking figure, he threw a glance over his shoulder and upon reeling his head back, he seemed to have locked eyes with the bounty hunter.

hope didn’t look away.

and neither did he.

except for when he took off running. and hope bolted, jumping to her feet and beginning to chase after the fleeing criminal. her feet were aching to get some exercise, and quite frankly, as much as she hated running, she felt like she was going to like it as soon as she gets her hands on this fool. 

he was weaving in between the crowd, but her tracker remained on him, so she didn’t think to remove her helmet anytime soon. and in case she needed to, she could summon the hoverbike quickly to speed up the chase. 

at some point during the chase, hope was right on his ass. and she didn’t know why she didn’t grab him or just shoot him, it was probably because she didn’t want to assassinate this guy in the middle of the public eye. she wasn’t the type to disrupt established ways of living. and life in the j-colony had a happy buzz, one which she didn’t wish to spoil.

but she still needed this fool dead.

she didn’t recall how long it took but soon, they were out of the public eye as he dipped into an alleyway and hope continued to give chase after him, mostly because she was so close to getting what she finally wanted and needed it to be a clean kill. otherwise, it wouldn’t be over. of course, the alleyway a dead end.

and crimson turned, his eyes wide and angry. “ you’re fitter than the last one who chased me. which was around . . . a day ago ”, his voice was deep, harnessing power and heart but there was a sense of sarcasm to it that she couldn’t help but like. “ uh, you’re here to arrest me, right? ”.

“ being arrested stopped being an option the last time, in which, i believe, you broke out of police custody and managed to hide in the city and hold out until the storm passed. impressive, but i’m not here to arrest you ”, with that, hope pulled out her pistol and with a click, held it towards the criminal. “ i am here to claim the reward for your bounty. ” 

and his face went pale. why he wasn’t fighting back was unbeknownst to her. and so she was careful because it was suspicious. “ o-oh. well, uh, i hadn’t planned my death until a couple of years time but i suppose . . . i should give in ”, he spoke and hope decided that this guy was way too stupid to be a criminal.

but then she heard something behind her. a beeping of some sort. and her eyes widened. going into an alleyway with a dead-end, the fact that he wasn’t fighting back, the beeping of what seemed to be an explosive device.

her heart dropped. it was a trap. 

hope gasped and ducked for cover and the spark lit and before she knew it, boom! right behind her. she felt the heat against her back and saw the smoke rise but even through it, she could spot crimson breaching for an escape using jet boots. but he wasn’t getting away, not like that!

she aimed up and fired a ray, one which just barely hit his left shoe and even through ringing ears, she could hear him scream. and it was a loud one. she watched him begin to descend and eventually meet the ground again, but then she heard chatter through the smoke and bit her lip. if it was the authorities, she was in for a good scolding. and she hadn’t even killed her target yet!

hope groaned and slowly picked herself up, her skin was scorching from the heat and she could barely breathe through the smoke. but then it began to clear, slowly. and then she saw figures emerging, the owners of the chatter.

oh, how her blood began to boil when the pirates showed up. 

she couldn’t believe it! she didn’t even have to be told what had happened because she could almost just assume. they had set up explosives, explosives when she was still in the alleyway. and it didn’t even kill her target because even he saw the explosive. and he dodged it and tried to flee! ugh!

“ i know, i know, thank me later. you got him, right? ”, enzo spoke first, arms wide with an overbearing amount of confidence. but when he spotted her barely able to pick herself off the ground, his face fell. “ uhm. ”

“ you didn’t ”, the criminal himself voiced, grunting and picking himself up. “ i mean, bounty hunter girl, if these guys are your teammates, i suggest getting better ones, the explosive was so obvious, seriously. it doesn’t take a second pair of eyes to even see it! ”.

“ they’re not my teammates ”, hope growled, head hanging low as she tried to stand up, her muscles were aching for rest but she refrained from caving into the pain. 

“ ah, that explains it. well, uh, if they’re not your teammates, you won’t mind if they’re gone, right? ”. she barely had time to furrow her brows in a frown when crimson pulled out a gun and suddenly fired a bullet up, hope yelped and covered her ears when she realized that he hadn’t fired mistakenly. he had fired at something.

another explosive.

hearing the pirates react and take cover, she caught sight of crimson before he started to run. and she threw herself at his feet, latching her arms around his legs and sending him plummeting down to the bare, concrete ground. she held him down as best as she could, searching for her gun but it didn’t come to hand.

oh god, her gun!

she grunted when he started to get up again, his feet fighting and kicking and she craned her head back to avoid receiving a boot to the face. she managed to hold him down long enough to reach for the knife attached to a harness around her leg, letting it out of its sheath.

except before she even dared to deliver a mighty blow, she felt an elbow meet the side of her head and her vision went for a moment, blurred and confused, her sense of orientation haywire. but hope fought to remain conscious, she couldn’t let a criminal escape! 

yelling, she grasped her knife, propelled and stabbed downward. all she heard was a fatal roar of anguish from the crook beneath her, and even with a stab wound, he persevered. but then she delivered a stab near the chest and another cry rung out. and upon stabbing a final time, a wavering howl was heard.

and beneath her, crimson went limp.

hope let out a loud breath and dropped the bloodied knife, and then realized the warm substance that covered her hands. blood. crimson red, covering each finger without failure. her stomach churned, her squeamish antics ticking and her vision continuing to blur with each passing second.

she was going to faint, she thought, but something in her kept on fighting, mostly the growing feeling of success after she realized this crook was finally dead and that she could alert the authorities. but she couldn’t do it now.

her eyes, hooded and seething with rage, rose to meet that of the figures who came out from behind the hiding spots. her blood was beginning to boil all over again, adrenaline pumping and her murderous ego willing to take hold again. 

but she kept herself from lashing out. for now.

“ you. you, you, you and you. back to the ship. right. fucking. now. ”

#chapter 3 #space pirates au #writing #original writing

[bearly-writing]

@lemonadepluto requested “Worked Themselves to Exhaustion” with Hunk, for the @badthingshappenbingo

Thank you very much for the prompt! I’m so sorry that it took so long - I struggled with this one for some reason, so it might not be exactly what you were looking for. Hopefully you enjoy it anyway! :)

Crosses are posted and circles are requested. To the people who have requested fics - I promise I am writing them!

Shut Your Eyes And Sleep

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Prompt: Worked Themselves To Exhaustion

Characters: Hunk, Shiro, Lance, Pidge, Keith

Warnings: Exhaustion

Summary: As soon as the lions are joined, Shiro realises the mistake he had made, letting Hunk join them on this mission without forcing him to get some rest. Piloting the lions is a strain, Voltron even more so, and Shiro can feel the energy draining out of Hunk as he struggles to hold himself in place. It tugs at Shiro in a way he doesn’t particularly like. It’s enough of a strain to force Voltron together when he only has his own exhaustion to deal with.

Read it on AO3 here!

***

Hunk is still working when Shiro finds him. The pale, fluorescent light of the lab washes a sickly glow over his face. It drips across the wrinkles furrowed into his brow. The dark circles punched under his eyes like bruises.

The paladin doesn’t hear him come in, or if he does, there’s no acknowledgment. Hunk’s hands are moving quickly over the tech on the table in front of him.

“How long have you been working on that?”

Hunk’s shoulders hunch, warding off the question as if it’s a blow. He doesn’t seem surprised though, which means Hunk had heard him come in and was just ignoring him. Shiro isn’t sure how he feels about that. “I need to finish it.”

When he glances up and offers Shiro a small smile, Shiro is struck by how tired he looks. How worn and thin his smile is, as if it’s stretched too far across his face.

“Can’t it wait till the morning?”

Hunk is already shaking his head. “Every second counts. If I don’t get this done before the flare, who knows how many people could die.”

And that’s the crux of the issue. The solar flare currently threatening the little planet they had landed on a few days earlier - the planet who’s shield had malfunctioned, who’s shield Hunk had promised to fix.

“You don’t have to kill yourself over this,” Shiro says, gently, even though he knows that’s exactly what Hunk is going to do. “Evacuation is still an option.”

Hunk’s mouth twists unhappily. “Not according to the Cilluan council.”

Shiro feels his own mouth pull into a grimace in response. There’s a small part of Shiro, one that he would never show to Hunk, that wonders why they bother to help people who clearly don’t want to be helped. He knows that Hunk wouldn’t appreciate that thought though - which is why he’s currently working on the shield tech for the third night in a row.

“Have you got any sleep since we landed?” Shiro asks instead. He already knows the answer, but perhaps forcing Hunk to say it out loud will make him realise what a bad idea this is.

“Of course.” Hunk has never been good at lying. When Shiro doesn’t respond, Hunk can’t help filling the silence. It’s an old interrogation technique - one that Shiro employs on a surprisingly regular basis - of all the Paladins, only Keith seems content to let silence lie. “I’ve got a few hours.”

“A few hours?” Shiro repeats, flatly. He doesn’t mean it to be accusing, exactly, but the look Hunk shoots him screams hypocrite even though the Yellow Paladin would never actually say it. Shiro feels appropriately chagrined. Still, he knows that his own sleep schedule isn’t the healthiest, but that doesn’t mean that he should let Hunk’s lack of sleep slide.

“Just make sure you get some rest OK. You can’t help the Cilluans if you’re dead on your feet.”

Hunk just nods, already focused back on the task in front of him. Shiro wants to stay, wants to force Hunk to go to bed and get some rest. But standing over the Yellow Paladin all night isn’t going to help either of them, and as much as Shiro wishes he could, he can’t force any of the Paladins to do something if they really don’t want to do it.

He’s their leader, but this isn’t the garrison. There’s not much he can do to force their submission - and he doesn’t want to. So he just offers Hunk his own nod in response and quietly leaves the room. He can only trust that Hunk knows his limits.

***

Shiro wakes later than usual the next morning. It happens, occasionally, when Shiro manages to get a good night. Still, he feels a little guilty as he peels himself out of bed and changes into his armour. It’s still early enough that most of the others are sleeping, but Shiro has more work to do than any of them - more responsibility.

He considers going down to the lab, to check on Hunk and his shield tech. But Shiro isn’t sure what he’d do if he did find Hunk still working there. Maybe it’s better not knowing.

The decision is rendered moot when Shiro wanders closer to the kitchen and hears someone clattering around in there, smells something sweet and floury in the air. There’s only one person who would  be awake and cooking so early in the morning. Sure enough, when Shiro follows the smell of pancakes into the kitchen, Hunk is carefully setting plates down on the large communal table.

“Hunk?” This time Hunk doesn’t pretend not to hear him. He glances up when Shiro enters the room, and offers the Black Paladin a small smile. Even in the considerably friendlier lights of the kitchen he looks too pale, his face sallow and sunken. “What are you doing?”

“I finished it,” Hunk says, grinning.

Shiro is impressed. He had honestly thought that the tech was unfixable - that the Paladin’s would be strong-arming the Cilluans into an evacuation attempt whether they liked it or not. “That’s great Hunk.”

The Yellow Paladin looks pleased with himself, even if he’s clearly trying to hide it by turning his face down towards the plate in his hand. And Shiro is pleased. Honestly. But he’s less pleased about the fact that Hunk obviously stayed up all night, again to do it.

“Why are you making breakfast?”

Hunk looks startled at that, as if he’s forgotten that’s what he’s doing. He blinks at Shiro, then at the table he’s just carefully set. Shiro watches his lashes cast even darker shadows under his eyes. “Oh...I always make breakfast before a mission?”

“I wasn’t aware we had a mission,” Shiro says, taking the plate out of Hunk’s fingers and setting it on the table.

“I finished the tech. We have to go and install it now.”

Shiro finishes setting the table as Hunk takes the pancakes off of the weird Altean hob. He’s being difficult - of course Hunk would want to install the tech he stayed up for three days to complete, but Shiro can’t help but wish he would take a little nap first.

“Don’t you think you should rest up first?”

“I’m fine, Shiro, honestly,” Hunk says, sounding exasperated. “This isn’t as bad as when we were being chased across the universe by Zarkon, and none of us got a chance to rest then.”

That’s true. But they hadn’t had a choice then, and Shiro had been just as tired.

“Hunk-“

They’re interrupted by the arrival of Lance. He pauses in the doorway, blinking at both Shiro and Hunk as if he’s surprised to see them there.

“Sweet!” He gets over the surprise pretty quickly, sliding into the room and sitting himself in one of the chairs without another glance their way. “You made pancakes.”

“Morning Lance,” Hunk says, sounding relieved at the change in conversation. He starts carefully portioning pancakes onto each of their plates as Shiro takes his own seat.

“Morning. Is something going on? I thought you were working on that shield tech thing.”

“I finished it,” Hunk replies.

Lance looks up at that, crows, “That’s awesome!” Then his smile fades as his gaze flickers over Hunk’s face. “No offence but you look awful, man. Did you stay up all night?”

Hunk’s shoulders don’t hunch, but there’s definitely something defensive about the twist of his mouth.

“I’m fine,” he says, tightly.

The others filter in pretty quickly after that.

“Hunk,” Pidge says, once she’s licked the last of the syrup off her plate. “We should work on that shield if you’re free. We don’t know how-“

“He’s finished it,” Lance interrupts.

“Oh.” Pidge’s eyes slide over Hunk, assessing. She opens her mouth, but Hunk shoots her a look that’s eerily reminiscent of the one he had given Shiro last night and her mouth snaps shut with a soft click, clearly thinking better of it.

“We’re going to install it after breakfast.”

Pidge’s eyes slide to Shiro this time. He nods. There’s no reason to delay the mission, not when he knows that Hunk wouldn’t be spending the time sleeping anyway.

“Suit up,” he says, and tries not to sound annoyed about it. “Meet at the bridge in ten.”

***

Connecting the new part to the rest of the shield tech goes, surprisingly, according to plan. It takes less time than Shiro would expect for Hunk and Pidge to wire the machinery together. Moving in quiet tandem. If Hunk is struggling, it’s impossible to tell. Finally, he slots the last section of wires together and Pidge sits back on her heels with a triumphant grin, and Shiro allows himself to think that maybe the mission will pass without incident. That maybe they’ll get back to the castle with the same ease and Hunk will get to take a nice long nap and maybe Shiro will let him off morning training so that he can sleep in.

Shiro should know better than to tempt fate like that.

The trip back to the lions is uneventful. Now that the tech is in place, Hunk seems to have deflated even further. He’s leaning heavily on Lance as they walk. But he is walking and they’re so close to the lions now. Shiro corrals some of the grateful Cilluans out of the way and hustles the Paladins forward as quickly as he can - he’s legitimately concerned that Hunk might get caught up offering to cook a celebratory feast, or give a speech, or something, if they stop to chat.

They make it back to the lions without anyone press-ganging Hunk into further service, thankfully. But that’s as far as they make it. There’s a rumble, shaking the ground beneath them. For a moment, Shiro thinks that the flare has taken them by surprise, that the shield has failed and they’re all about to be destroyed. It would have a certain irony to it. But it isn’t a solar flare shaking the earth.

“Is that a robeast?” Pidge asks, voice tight.

“It is.”

It’s big, with a strange, flat head, and armour that shines bright in the too-close sunlight. Shiro can see all of the lions, lined up like targets, reflecting back at him from its wide chest. He has to bite back a sigh.

“OK team, lets deal with this quickly. Form Voltron.”

As soon as the lions are joined, Shiro realises the mistake he had made, letting Hunk join them on this mission without forcing him to get some rest. Piloting the lions is a strain, Voltron even more so, and Shiro can feel the energy draining out of Hunk as he struggles to hold himself in place. It tugs at Shiro in a way he doesn’t particularly like. It’s enough of a strain to force Voltron together when he only has his own exhaustion to deal with.

The others can obviously feel it too. “Jesus, Hunk,” Keith hisses through gritted teeth. “Have you slept at all in the last week?”

“Let’s just get this done,” Shiro interrupts, before it can turn into an argument. They don’t need to waste any more energy not fighting the thing.

It’s not a particularly difficult battle, but Shiro can feel Hunk’s exhaustion dragging at him with every movement. Can feel the weight of it in his head and his stomach like an anchor. It’s nauseating, and he has to force himself to clench his teeth and focus. He can only imagine how it must feel to Hunk.

But they manage to pummel the robeast into submission. They’re working together so much better now. One good blast with the cannon should finish it off.

“Hunk, shoulder cannon!”

As soon as Shiro gives the order, he wishes he could take it back. If Hunk is struggling just to manoeuvre as part of Voltron, he’s hardly going to have the energy to summon a proper blast. But it’s too late. The shoulder cannon materialises and takes aim. Shiro can feel Hunk dragging the last of his energy into the shot.

The robeast shatters with a deafening explosion of splintered glass. Voltron shatters too, twisting apart at the seams, untethered. For a moment Shiro just floats, stunned. The sudden release - the lack of anyone’s exhaustion but his own - leaves him light headed, spinning.

“Hunk?”

“What happened? Was he hit?”

“Hunk!”

The Yellow Lion is lying, unresponsive, a little way away. It looks as exhausted as Hunk had felt - as if all of its energy had been drained along with its pilot’s. There’s no response on the comms.

Shiro comes back to himself with a jolt. “Keith. Help me carry him - we need to get back to the castle.”

It’s awkward - the Yellow Lion is big and unwieldy in Black’s claws - but they make it to the castle and set Yellow down gently in the hangar. When Shiro clambers through Yellow’s half-open mouth, Hunk is, surprisingly, awake in the pilot’s seat, head lolling against his shoulders, heavy-lidded eyes watching Shiro approach through the darkness.

“Hunk?” Shiro asks, quietly. It feels wrong to speak louder than a whisper. “Are you OK?”

Hunk’s head rolls loosely on his shoulders. In the dim light his eyes gleam, white against the dark smudges underneath them. Shiro steps closer to him, hears Lance and Pidge and Keith clatter up the ramp behind him. Feels Lance’s hand on his shoulder as the Blue Paladin strains to see past him.

“Hunk?” Lance’s voice is too loud, too worried, but Hunk doesn’t seem to notice. There’s a flicker of his eyelids, a twitch of his head, but otherwise he barely seems to notice they’re there at all.

“He’s fine,” Shiro says, even though he’s not actually sure if Hunk is. “He just needs to get some rest. Help me get him inside.”

He turns back to Hunk. The Yellow Paladin’s eyes are closed now, chin drooping against his chest. Shiro doesn’t want to wake him up, but he can’t let him sleep here - needs to make sure that Hunk is only tired, not hurt.

He shakes Hunk’s shoulder, gently, and watches as his eyes flutter open, roaming around the cabin before settling on Shiro.

“Hey.” Hunk manages a smile, returning the one Shiro had offered him. “We’re going to get you up Hunk, then you can sleep in a real bed.”

Hunk just hums agreeably, eyelids fluttering again, as if they want to slide shut. He doesn’t protest when Shiro lifts his arm, slipping underneath it and shifting him upright enough for Lance to take his other side. It’s easy enough to lift him to his feet, even though Hunk doesn’t do much to help them out. Shiro could carry him alone if he had to.

“‘M sorry,” Hunk slurs, right in Shiro’s ear. Shiro’s heart clenches - even if he doesn’t agree with Hunk hurting himself like this, he was doing it to help people. The apology leaves a strange sour taste in Shiro’s mouth.

“You don’t need to apologise Hunk. You worked hard to save those people, and it paid off.”

“Yeah,” Lance agrees from Hunk’s other side. “And you finished off that robeast and everything.”

Shiro doesn’t bother taking Hunk down to the medbay: he knows he isn’t injured - not exactly. It’ll be much more comfortable for Hunk to sleep in his own bed.

Lance helps him strip Hunk of his armour, leaving him in the undersuit. It isn’t pyjamas, but it will be considerably more comfortable. Then they settle him in the bed.

Hunk blinks sleepily up at them, cocooned in blankets and looking cozy enough that Shiro feels his own tiredness itching behind his eyes.

“Get some rest Hunk.” He strokes a hand over Hunk’s head, feeling strangely protective. “We’ll see you in the morning.

#badthingshappenbingo #prompt: worked themselves to exhaustion #hunk #shiro #lance #keith #pidge #fanfiction #my writing

[voice-of-the-traveler]

Forged by Light

Forged by Light is a series of short stories written to develop the relationship between Lord Shaxx and Marinochka (OC).

Summary: Warlord Shaxx and Marinochka's meeting

“They won’t make it,” the little drone’s eye shimmered in concern.

“Your Ghost is right,” Aleksander said, his shotgun, Pozvonochnik, carried across his body at a low ready. His body is like a compressed spring, his eyes roaming their desolate surroundings. “We need safe shelter to tend to our wounded and rest.”

The Hunter bit her lip, pulling the sleeping child in her arms closer to her chest. The little boy’s father was long dead, and his mother was injured by a Vandal during the last ambush. His body shook with cold even in sleep. “We are still miles from The City...and it’s only going to get colder…”

“There is a Warlord-I know, but listen, he is said to be benevolent, we should reach his territory by nightfall...he’s our best shot,” Aleksander turned to look back at the others, a tired sigh leaving his chapped lips.

Risen looked at Ghost. The Ghost bobbed in the air slowly, eye flashing in a rainbow of color as data was processed. When she spoke there was a slight tremble to it, “This Warlord is their only hope Marinochka, I’m near certain they won’t make it to The City unless he provides them shelter…”

Marinochka’s eyes flicker to the sleeping child in her arms, her fingers curling into his ragged shirt. “We have no choice...let us hope he is as you say…”

Aleksander nodded before speaking, “What is the plan for when we arrive?”

“You and Moonbeam will stay with them, I will meet with this Warlord; inform him of our intentions…”

Moonbeam zipped in front of the Hunter, her disapproval burning like a Golden Gun, “You’re not going alone, what happens if he kills you?!”

“He will kill you...if given the chance,” Marinochka responded.

The Ghost’s fins shot downwards violently, her version of a huff, “I’m not letting you go alone.”

“And I am not giving a Warlord a chance to kill you,” Marinochka refuted firmly. “You will stay with Aleksander and that is final.” There was an angry silence, orange eyes locked with blue optic. “Moonbeam, please, Little Light, do not fight me on this.”

The little drone blinked, shell twitching, optic dilating and shrinking periodically, “Come back alive.” She dematerialized.

“She worries…”

“I know she does, Aleksander…” she sighs, rubbing along the child’s spin. “She forgets...I worry as well.”

The rest of the day was mercifully uneventful. Moonbeam materialized as the sun began to set, “I’m picking up structures on scans…”

“The Warlord’s territory then,” Marinochka whispered. Her Ghost nodded silently. “I will be alright, slabyy svet.”

“And if you’re not?”

“I will be.”

Her Ghost sighed, fins drooping with a dissatisfied trill. The Hunter tutted softly before extending her arm to the little drone. Moonbeam trilled again before zipping into the pit of her shoulder, nuzzling into her neck. The Hunter smiled.

By the time the sun had completely set the Warlord’s wall was in full view over the horizon. Aleksander spoke, his voice laced with exhaustion, “Be safe.”

The Hunter nodded, handing over the sleeping child to an elderly woman. She paused a moment before taking her Ghost into her cupped hands, running her thumb along her fins. “Be brave, slabyy svet,” she murmured, placing Moonbeam on Aleksander’s shoulder. Moonbeam’s optic shimmer, not leaving her Guardian’s form as she began her trek to the base of the wall.

Marinochka looked up as she approached the wall, the fire of the watchtower flickering with each gust of cold wind. With a steadying breath she calls, “I apologize for disturbing you this late, but my people need shelter. We have been traveling for days and the Fallen have left many of us injured. I am requesting an audience with your Lord.”

She heard shouts but was too far away to make out the words, soon after a large man in a horned helm stepped out. She tensed as he approached. When he spoke, his voice was every bit as imposing as his physic implied, “This had better be good.”

“My name is Marinochka, Lord, my people are in need of shelter-”

“Where are your people then? I don’t see anyone but you, welp,” he made a show of looking around.

“They are a few miles out,” she responded.

“I’ve had many try to infiltrate my territory, why am I to believe you are any different?”

She paused, “I have no interest in your land, I solely want to see to my people’s survival. The Fallen have left us injured, we need rest and care. My people will not survive if they do not.”

“Remove your cloak and helmet. If I am to let you and your people into my walls I want to know their leader’s face.”

She hesitates for a moment before lowering her hood, and unclasping her helmet, quickly running a hand through her matted black and white hair. “I swear, neither I nor my people have ill intent.”

“Call your people, it’s late, we will tend to their injuries come morning.”

As promised, come morning the injured were given medical attention. Aleksander was overseeing their treatment while she was entertaining the children. Currently, she was creating glittering figures with her Light. The children marveled and laughed with each change in figure. She smiled. “You didn’t tell me you’re a Risen.”

She didn’t look at him as she spoke, creating a horse of pure Solar, “Would it have changed your decision?”

“Yes.”

“Then I stand by my decision, although I do regret the need for the dishonesty,” with that, she stood, dispelling the solar horse in a glittering wave of light that left the children giggling. “I am completely honest when I say I have no interest in your territory. I am neither Warlord nor Iron Lord; once my people are well enough we will be on our way.”

Warlord Shaxx crossed his arms, regarding her with a weighty glare, even through his helm, “You’ve lied to me once already-”

“I did what I needed to do for my people-”

“Do not interrupt me,” he growled. “You’ve lied to me once already, how am I to trust anything you say now.”

“Trust me don’t or don’t, Warlord, I don’t very much care which you decide. Once my people have recovered we will leave, and that will be the end of it.”

Lord Shaxx grunted, “Not a Warlord, and yet you call them your people.”

“They entrusted me to bring them to The City alive. They are mine to protect, not mine to rule over,” she retorted.

The Warlord hummed, “You’ve done a poor job having to turn to me for help.”

Marinochka bristled, “I am well aware of my shortcomings Warlord, I do not need you to point them out.”

“Don’t you?”

“I don’t, their suffering is reminder enough.”

“What will you do when your people reach The City?”

“Why do you care?”

He laughed, “I don’t.”

“Then why ask?”

“Because I can, Scavenger.”

She huffed, narrowing her eyes, “Go back out to bring more home.”

“The City is their home?”

“It will be.”

“Bold of you.”

“Hopeful.”

“You have faith is that growing settlement?”

“I have faith in humanity; if we choose to make that settlement our home,” she met his eyes with a fiery determination, “Then it will stand a beacon in the night.”

“We shall see, Scavenger.”

“We will, Warlord.”

#my writing #forgedbylight #destiny 2 #shaxx #lord shaxx #fanfiction #destinyfanfiction #oc #hunter oc #marinochka #dark ages #eliksni

[matthew-phillip-blog]

DAMN. in Early Recovery

by Matthew Phillip

The other day at 5:00 a.m. I found myself outside with a coffee and a cigarette. I wake up this early on a regular basis now – a symptom of PAW (post-acute withdrawal), which I experience as a recovering addict.

I’m 21-years-old, and during the last year, I used cocaine, alcohol, and other mind-altering substances every day. I attended a treatment centre for the last two months, and have been sober for two months and ten days. I feel like shit.

The mug I was sipping from was my dad’s; it says: I’d Rather be Golfing! A lie, I thought, “I’d rather be doing cocaine.” Following that thought, I immediately called D., my sponsor.

D. is 39-years-old, has long, dangling hair, a thin face, a tattoo of the solar system on the inside of his right arm and a tattoo of an astronaut on his left. Like me, his DOC (drug of choice), was cocaine. A husband, father and now a friend to me, D (after being sober for nine years, relapsing and getting sober again) is approaching three years clean.

One night, while driving me home from a Cocaine Anonymous (C.A.) meeting in downtown Toronto, D. asked me what of music I listened to. I skipped the “Oh I listen to everything,” preamble,” and answered: “Rap.” He asked me if I listened to Earl Sweatshirt. I told him I did and we blasted Doris the entire way home. He dropped me off and I quickly went to my room and hit the mattress. It was there I realized you could be cool and in recovery.

This time, when I called D., he greeted me in his usual chipper manner and asked if I’d heard of a group called Flying Lotus. I told him that yes, I have heard of him and that he should listen to the album You’re Dead! He’s a brilliant producer and there’s a great Kendrick Lamar feature on there. He also did some work on Kendrick’s To Pimp a Butterfly, one of my favourite albums of all time.

Later in the day, I texted my friend Ali to give him my musical opinion that DAMN., Lamar’s latest album, is superior to TPAB. I listened to both albums frequently during active addiction, along with Yeezus, by Kanye West. Together, these three records were the soundtrack to my year-long addiction.

Yeezus was my binge, or spree, album during my addiction cycle. Listening to it, I felt powerful, without limitation. I felt like a God, and if you didn’t see that you could “Go fuck yourself,” because I had total control over the present. That aside, my life was falling apart. I lost my job, my girlfriend, and many close friends.

To Pimp a Butterfly was the counter soundtrack during this cycle. It’s social and political awareness made me feel grounded in reality and sobriety for a brief period before I would get overwhelmed and turn back to substances.

The covers of the three albums say it all, to me. Yeezus is a blank CD in a blank CD case, with a red strip on the right-hand side; it is perfect for doing lines off of.

The cover of To Pimp a Butterfly has a black and white photograph of shirtless black men (Lamar included) in front of the White House, standing over a dead white man. The image addresses the relevant social issues of our time: racial injustice, white privilege, the prison industrial complex – issues I would know more about had I not dropped out of school to major in cocaine.

On the minimal cover of DAMN., is a picture of Lamar, who looked high-as-hell to me when I was using. Today, he looks painfully sober, like a dry-drunk.

Lamar, in my opinion, is the best rapper alive – and a fierce intellectual. Listening to DAMN. and looking at its cover, I think of him as a university professor who has given up. He’s imagined the photograph on the cover of To Pimp a Butterfly, and isn’t confident it will ever appear in a slideshow during one of his lectures.

Over the course of DAMN., a 55-minute lecture, he meditates on his many thoughts, feelings, theories, and suspicions. Sometimes he becomes so involved in them that he forgets where he is and is only reminded when a student noisily gets up to leave early because he’s been made uncomfortable by the topic. He’s disappointed but tries not to show it. He knows his dissection of each topic is both insightful and a banger.

I now listen to this album every morning as I transcribe old journals from rehab. In reading my old notes, I stumble upon feelings which I’d numbed through addiction. These days, in addictions counselling, I’m encouraged to look at those moods, feel them without resistance, and watch them go by. To just be. And let me tell you: this the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Learning to live with myself, void of substances is exhausting.

That’s the look I see in Kendrick’s eyes now. He’s stuck in his head, too, fighting thoughts and feelings as they go by. Listening, I realize I am no longer alone. I realize that my life – and recovery has been about three things: Fear, Love and God

FEAR. Being forced to feel scared me to death. I resented my environment because I wasn’t willing to properly accept life, and blamed others for it. I couldn’t accept people, institutions, and concepts for what they were. I couldn’t see myself in relation to these large forms, so I was scared of them. In rehab, doing my self-inventory, I realized my resentments were formed by my fear of looking at myself and my part in these relationships. Drugs were the most convenient route for numbing this fear, life-destructive consequences considered. “If I could smoke fear away, I’d roll that motherfucker up” raps K.Dot, knowing it doesn’t work.

LOVE. Not too long ago, I realized that I was in love at last. A girl entered my life and suddenly I wanted to be with her. We trusted one another. We made each other feel at our best. We noticed the little things about one another and fell deeper in admiration. But I put cocaine, my greatest love, above her, and it ended. How crazy I was to give that up for drugs? I was too uncomfortable in my own skin to love myself, and her by extension. I realize this now and have made amends to her.

GOD. Upon entering rehab, I believed treatment to be a cult. “No way am I buying into this,” I thought. Less than five minutes into my first counselling session, I started bawling. I had been failing at life. I was an isolated shell. I was depressed and scared to death. I realized I could no longer live by my own means. I came to believe in the program, and eventually God, seeing it/him/her as something greater than myself, which I could never understand. But “what happens on Earth stays on Earth,” voices remind us throughout DAMN. I need to do my part. I can’t expect God to do anything for me without paying back.

I recently ordered a new copy of Yeezus. I hung it on my wall next to my length of sobriety chips. 24 hours. One month. Two months. It’s there to remind me of the past, so I never forget how bright my future can be.

Last night, D. picked me up and we drove to a nearby C.A. meeting. I played DAMN. front-to-back the whole car ride. He said m.A.A.d city was better, and we left it at that. We were headed to hear a speaker with nine years of sobriety sort his way through his thoughts, feelings, fears, theories, and suspicions. Still, after nine years. Damn.

#kendrick lamar #damn. #recovery #personal essay #article #hip-hop #rap #writing #prose #cocaine

[rainbowraaja]

Here is an Angelic Rune Reading and healing grid. Although initially done for myself, I believe it might also benefit others as well. I was shown 7 Runes and I placed them around my orgonite. Then I placed my power animals at their respective corners for the elements they connect to. These animals are personal to me and help me connect. At the top of my grid, I placed Angelite which enhances communication with Angels and Divine energy. (Please note, my daughter moved some of my totems so they are different than the picture. I am reading what was originally done.) The first rune Pe is for blessings. This rune reminds you to show gratitude for your life. To look at all of your life experiences, good and bad and reflect on the lessons they taught you. To look at the people you’ve met and find value in the exchange however long or short that interaction happened to be. To be grateful for the food you eat, roof over your head, companions (human and furry) you keep, and the luxuries you indulge in. This rune brings about a moment of compassion towards others and yourself and embracing all you’ve overcome and how those experiences influenced who you have become. Take a moment today to do this. Paired with this Rune, was my power animal Bear in the North (earth). Bear is here to remind you to take a moment to hibernate with your thoughts and memories. That when you find gratitude within your life you will find deep healing. He also awakens awareness of your inner strength by showing you all the challenges you’ve already overcome. On a chakra level, earth connects to our root chakra which is how we find focus and stability. I can see how having gratitude might help me ground myself- by taking away ego and negative thoughts I can be more focused and happy in the present. The second Rune Graph is the manifestation of creative forces. This Rune is about expressing yourself in a creative way and sometimes even working within a community to co-create something wonderful. Without creative expression we can become bogged down with repressed emotion. For me, this meant sharing with you a piece of my creativity, this reading and my interpretation of it. Possibly I’ll go write or draw later too. For you, maybe it’s singing in the shower or starting a new hobby. Paired with the Rune is squirrel (Northeast- earth/air). This totem connects to this rune because squirrel helps prioritize your daily activities. Squirrel knows when it’s time for work and play and rest. Squirrel helps you put your energy into the task at hand and get it done in a timely manner. Being able to have mental clarity and focus with the physical drive to put into action. This rune connects to our sacral chakra as well. Our sacral chakra is where our emotional health and expression is. By expressing ourselves creatively through art or action, we release the emotions bothering us. Emotions are energy in motion, if we don’t express them, they end up clogging our system and can manifest as illness within the body. Next we have Ceph, which means movement. This can be a movement to action or a movement among a group of people to initiate change. This rune is telling you it’s time to stand up for yourself and to make a change. Something in your life is oppressing you and it’s time to change it. For me, this reminded me of a movement I wanted to start. I wanted to call to action all Reiki healers and energy workers and anyone who wants to participate to send love and light to Trump in the white house on a day of his next big public speech. I feel whether you like him or not, during this time on the precipice of war, what our country needs is love and support. That is the movement I am called to make, what’s yours? The totem tied with that Rune is Crow in the East (air). Crow is a totem that can simultaneously see the past, present and future. He comes forth when a strong change is on the wind. Crow is also a carrion, meaning he eats decay and dead parts of animals and transforms it into life energy. He is an animal of renewal. For me Crow is here to say that this movement will bring big changes, that it will transform darkness into light and that it will harald a new future. The chakra this rune relates to is the solar plexus. The solar plexus is our core, it is where our drive and ambition come from. I always imagine this place as being a sun, full of life force energy pulling us forward and fueling our bodies. Solar plexus is all about movement. Then we have Mals which is the rune for speech and freedom. Speak your truth and you will find a sense of freedom. I believe this correlates to all forms of communication as well. Listening is half of communication and always listen with an open mind and heart. Information that could be important to us, can’t be absorbed if we don’t hear it or if we misunderstand. Remember, with words we can heal or harm. It is a great responsibility to use our words for love and uplifting spirits, not to hurt or lie. The animal totem that paired with Mals was peacock (southeast- fire air). Peacocks have a very raucous call- this sound reminds us to speak from our heart. Peacock is also a bird of rebirth, this could symbolize making a change of how you communicate. Sometimes I am not very nice when I am upset, so this rune helps remind me to use kind words no matter how I feel. The chakra this rune connects to is usually the throat, but today it is the heart, maybe I need to open up about something and get it off my chest. Next is Orth the Rune for connection and unification. When this rune appears a strong time-transcendent eternal connection and unification is bound to happen soon. This could mean you will meet someone who will share a deep bond with you. This could be about working within a community of people to accomplish a goal. Maybe it is to remind you that all actions have a reaction- like karma. This rune really reminds me of karma and how important it is to be generous and kind to all. Dragon was the totem for this rune in the south (fire) corner. Dragon is an ancient eternal being who spans over lifetimes. Every action he makes he must live with and with such power and that bad breath of his (fire breath) I’m sure dragon has made some poor choices in the heat of the moment… this eternal beast reminds us that our actions can burn not just others, but ourselves. Also remember to connect with the earth, connect with others, and connect to yourself. The chakra connected to this rune is throat. Think before you speak comes to mind. Try to communicate if there is a misunderstanding. You can also connect through song and sound. Or go outside and listen to the world around you- the singing birds, the wind and even distant city sounds. Being still, you can connect to the present moment. Gal the rune of physicality and strength, reminds us that health is wealth. Only when physical existence is coupled with nourishment, self care and healing can our physical body be balanced. I know I am out of shape, so I must spend more time doing yoga, taking walks, maybe take a boxing class. Also getting lots of rest, regular massages, doctor check ups and dental check ups. Drinking lots of water and eating more healthy food. My body has to last me the rest of my life, so I need to care for it now. Rabbit (southwest- fire water) is a vegetarian and eats in small increments. Rabbit also has a strong sense of self preservation. This totem teaches a balanced diet, exercise, and knowing when to run from an unsafe situation. The chakra paired with this rune is third eye. We must take care of ourselves or we can not think clearly or function properly. Our third eye is about clarity of mind and intuitive abilities. If we can’t care for ourself, are we able to truly trust ourself? If we do take care of our body and mind, we can be at the top of our game. Last but not least, Ger the rune of righteousness and humility. This is about being righteous (acting morally and just) while also staying humble. If Superman can find a way to stay humble with all that power he has, there is no excuse for the rest of us. If you go around boasting how awesome you are, you lose worth and look arrogant. Being confident and being arrogant are different. You can be humble and confident, by knowing what you are able to accomplish without giving yourself compliments. Dolphin (east- water) is coupled with Ger. Dolphin is one of the most intelligent animals, but instead of being a show off, it plays and laughs and focuses on family. Dolphins have the capability to do incredible feats, but they just enjoy bringing enjoyment, laughter and spending time with their kin. The crown chakra is about connecting to the divine- whether that’s god, the universe, life, your higher self, or even nature. Letting go of ego allows us to connect to everything better. By simply having no expectations and allowing your mind and thoughts to fade, you can find peace and connection. Let me know what you thought of this reading and if I should do more. Happy Easter!! #rune #animaltotem #healing #crystalgrid #angelicrunes #easter #transcendence #rainbowraaja

[ravenvsfox]

5/6 for andreil pls!! You can combine or do them separately whatever floats ur boat

5: “Please don’t do this” (I’m doing them separately im weak, #6 should be out tmrw! also... a phrase with ‘please’ in it.. I’m using up all my dreaming/drunk/dying scenarios)

It’s common knowledge among foxes that waking Andrew is Neil’s job, unless you want to get a fist to the solar plexus. But it’s also true that Andrew is the only one who can extract Neil from his nightmares without scaring him back into the trunk of a car or an evermore bed.

It’s one of the “fun facts” for fox survival that Nicky recites to newcomers: don’t touch Neil when he’s sleeping unless you want to feel like you’ve just kicked a puppy. Don’t touch Andrew under any circumstances if you like your fingers attached to your hands. When in doubt, get whichever one is awake and let them do their voodoo. If they’re both asleep at the same time, you’re fucked. Take pictures.

Andrew never bothers to correct him. There’s nothing to correct, if Andrew’s being honest (and he always is).

Quietly learning to wake each other is the result of bruising trial and error, a hard-won trust that grew like moss over ruins.

It’s still almost impossible, sometimes. Most of the time. Approaching Neil when he’s whimpering and protecting his face with his hands makes Andrew feel even more like a monster than usual.

Neil whispered to him on the bus once that the split second of disorientation in Andrew’s eyes when he wakes makes Neil scared for him.

Andrew starts to recognize the sheepish look of foxes who need to ask their vice-captain something while his head is lolling around Andrew’s shoulder. He almost always wakes him, it’s a clear subclause in his ‘keep Neil out of harms way’ contract, and Andrew’s dutiful when it comes to deals.

There’s a knock on the door at half past three on a Monday morning, and Andrew startles awake in an empty room. He stews in slow annoyance as the front door opens and closes, muffled voices tripping into the bedroom. He gropes for the light switch in the dark, and Kevin flips it on for him, toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, eyebrows shaking hands across the stretch of his forehead.

They have a brief staring contest and then Matt clears his throat from behind them, knocking awkwardly on the door frame.

“Um… Andrew?”

Andrew looks at him blearily. He’s conscious of Matt’s eyes tracking his hair sticking out sideways, one of Neil’s soft nondescript shirts slouching on his chest.

“We need your expertise,” Matt says, grimacing. Andrew turns to retreat to his bed, unimpressed, but Matt huffs. “Neil’s having a nightmare. He fell asleep in our room.”

Andrew stops.

“He’s freaking out,” Matt continues, soft. He makes eye contact with a wild edge that says he’s refusing to let the blankness in Andrew’s gaze phase him.

Andrew pushes past Matt like he’s rolling his sleeves up, breaking out into the strangeness of the dorm at night. 

The door to the neighbouring room is open and Aaron’s standing just inside, arms crossed.

“He woke me up,” he says cooly as Andrew passes.

“Jesus weeps,” Matt snarks, hot on Andrew’s heels. He’s looking beyond the twins to where Neil is curled on the floor, trembling. Matt’s face pinches with concern. Dan’s sitting on the couch by Neil’s head in a jersey and bare legs, looking like she’s trying to help just by being nearby. The room has the suddenly bright feeling of a fire alarm going off at night, minds alert inside sleep dulled bodies.

Neil jerks and holds his own arms, and Andrew spots his wet face because he’s looking for it.

He crosses to him and Dan scoots backwards, like Andrew’s a lightning storm and Neil’s water that’s unfit for swimming.

He’s sickly aware of half the team looking on, of how much Neil would hate this.

“Please don’t do this. I’m— let me go,” Neil mumbles, his features all fighting each other. Andrew recoils. He looks up and Aaron’s watching him closely. “Please. Please don’t.”

“Neil.” He shoves his own revulsion to the back of a drawer in his head. Neil’s nightmares have the same aftertaste as Andrew’s. They throb in scars and bind wrists. He puts one hand heavily on the back of Neil’s neck. “Wake up.”

He pushes down a little, so Neil’s face meets the cool floor. The combination of the familiar gesture and the temperature tug him almost instantly awake.

Neil’s hands open but his eyes stay shut. “Thanks,” he says, licking his lips.

Andrew squeezes his neck a little too hard and takes his hand away. “You’re scaring the neighbours,” he murmurs.

Neil opens his eyes and finds Andrew immediately. “Maybe they’re up early enough for morning practice, for once.”

“What, was this pre-meditated?” Matt jokes, and Neil looks up at him, still a little haunted around the eyes.

“It’s something I’m trying,” Neil says wryly, picking himself off the floor and leaning into the base of the couch. Andrew hates being here, but he’s not leaving the room without Neil. He can still see sweat beaded on his upper lip.

“Maybe don’t try it at 3 am, huh kiddo?” Dan says, reaching over to ruffle his hair. He flinches a little, and no one seems to notice but Andrew.

“We’re going,” he says, and Neil meets his eyes gratefully.

“Yeah. I’ll let you guys sleep,” he agrees, glancing from face to tired face.

“It doesn’t bother us, you know that, right?” Matt says. “We all have nights like this. It’s in the job description, for foxes.”

Neil nods weakly, but Andrew knows it hasn’t hit any kind of target. Neil swirls kindnesses around and spits them out again — he hasn’t acquired a taste for them yet.

“Speak for yourself,” Aaron says, rubbing sleep from his eyes and grimacing.

“I was, actually, thanks,” Matt says, rolling his eyes. His posture shifts back to face Neil and his expression shifts with it. “You need anything?”

Neil flickers a look at Andrew. “Nah I’m f—“

“Don’t,” Dan cuts in, laughing.

They walk back to their room with their shoulders not quite close enough to knock, and the aftershocks of whatever Neil had been reliving finally go through him. Andrew pushes him up against the wall before their door, knowing Kevin will be waiting up inside.

“Breathe. Whoever it is, they are dead.”

Neil shakes his head, breathing out through his mouth. “Doesn’t feel like it. He’s still—“ he twists his hands violently in his hair. “Here.”

Andrew reaches up for Neil’s chest and taps two fingers to his heart. “Dead,” he reminds him. “Just like all the Wesninski’s.” He doesn’t say Nathaniel because that wound is fresh and bleeding in Neil’s face.

“It was months ago, I should be able to— sleep, at least.”

Andrew looks at him. Neil glances up and laughs at his expression.

“Yeah, I guess a six month deadline for good mental health isn’t working for me.”

“Try six years,” Andrew says. “Bee has a flow chart.”

“I don’t think 60 years would help.” He frowns. “I don’t think a flow chart would help either.”

Andrew shrugs. Neil’s eyes are back as they should be, blue like clean water.

“Bed?” Andrew asks.

Neil tilts his head, noncommittal. “I’m thinking I might go for a run.”

Andrew nods once, and reaches beyond Neil to twist the door open. They both ignore Kevin as Neil tucks his hair back and toes on runners. Andrew grabs his own shoes and dodges Neil’s curious look.

Neil out in the middle of the night with his own thoughts for company is a panic attack in the making; the sort of thing they’d put in the ‘not to do’ column of a PTSD pamphlet.

They end up running bad dreams into the gutter, Neil poking fun at Andrew’s speed and Andrew ignoring him, the sky watching them with starry eyes.

By the time they get back to fox tower Neil’s eyes are drooping. Andrew invites him into his bed with a tucked down cover, putting his back to the wall and watching as Neil does the same.

He’s holding sleep in the palm of his hand when Neil’s voice steals it away.

“The secret is, it’s better, waking up to you,” he says, secretive and lush. Andrew hears him shifting under the covers, facing Andrew in the dark. “Anyone could put a hand on my neck, and I’d wake up, probably. But I’m glad it’s you.”

Andrew considers this. “Go to sleep.”

Neil makes a noise, and reaches for Andrew’s fingers, kissing them quickly and settling them back on the bed where he found them.

Andrew doesn’t acknowledge it, but his hand pricks with feeling until he falls asleep.

He dreams in orange.

#im so wiped I just wanted to post this before my inevitable face-to-keyboard sleep #aftg #andreil #the foxhole court #tfc fanfic #prompt #mine #tw abuse #a little bit #Anonymous #ask