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#i am learning to love humanity and learn about us and learn everything and it'll never be enough - i will never know enough
uncanny-tranny · 7 months
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If I'm honest, the whole "love in every stitch" saying for fiber artists does not apply to me, like. I'm trying to get this fucking hook into stubborn yarn and I'll be stabbing it like it owed me money. Is that love because I hope not 😭💀
#art#crochet#honestly the closest thing i feel to love when crocheting is this feeling that this is bigger than me if that makes sense...#...i think it'sthe feeling of knowing how old the craft itself is and knowing that millions of people have done the same as you...#...millions of people have stabbed their crochet hook into the yarn because it's stubborn but so are you...#...millions of people in the past have sat and devoted their time and effort into all of this...#...millions of people have passed on this knowledge and kept this thing alive...#...and it's the feeling of knowing that humans across millenia aren't THAT different#to our core we are more or less similar - across the ages across the colours across everything. that really comforts and humbles me#have you looked up ancient textiles? because that also sparks these emotions in me#it makes me think about the tupes of people to make the textile but also about who wore it#and so many of them are still beautiful and colourful and it shows you SO MUCH about the people who made them#even the ones that are tattered and faded and stripped of colour still feel beautiful...#...because it has SURVIVED. it is evidence of a people who made it and a people who had technical skills#and THIS is why i HATE HATE HATE the idea that ancient people were just 'dumb' and 'uneducated'#that is so unfair to them and cruel and just. wrong. (and often it reeks of white supremacy)#i'm sorry i rant and rave about this so much but i canNOT be normal about this. i can't be normal about humanity#i am learning to love humanity and learn about us and learn everything and it'll never be enough - i will never know enough#i will never know everything about everybody and it will be the death of me#okay the only thing i liked about the greatest showman movie was Never Enough because that is me thinking about all this
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ask-spiderpool · 22 days
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Hey mod, are you okay? It’s been a while since you posted (no judgement!) and I just wanted to see if something was wrong. Love you and I hope you stay strong🫶🏼
Bless you anon! I appreciate you checking in! I don't post a lot of personal updates here, but I have been going through the wringer lately... hough.
Lately I've been battling with anxiety, you know, same as everyone. It's kind of made things that I used to enjoy kind of stressful for me. Everything becomes stressful for me. Even not having things to stress about makes me stressed. I'm at my most Peter Parkeriest, in the worst sort of a way.
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I thought it was a brain thing – that it was all in my head. I have a new, stressful job, and a stressful living situation, and some family issues I'm dealing with. It'll pass. So I kind of tried to power through, until my body shut down on me last year. And as it turns out, when I got checked out by the doc, it's not just a brain thing. I have a tumor (her name is Lamar, and she's benign, buuut...) she's producing 5x the normal amount of stress hormone in my body. The doctors think it's insane. I think it's hilarious. I feel like it's some kind of joke.
I've been battling this ridiculous chronic stress for years, thinking it was all in my head, but actually, biologically, I'm an overflowing reservoir of stress, and it's something that can be measured in my bloodstream. And it's been going on for years!
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So, lately I've been devoting a lot of time to forcing myself to relax. Doctors orders. I can't get stressed about things. Every day I have to effectively diffuse a bomb. And the bomb is me. I'm so pumped up with involuntary stress, and I have to devote my time to keeping it at a manageable level. And so there are a lot of backflips I have to do to keep myself human right now, and not turn into a bomb.
See... posting to the blog doesn't exactly calm me down. It makes me anxious, most of the time. So I've been telling myself it's okay. Only post when you feel good. You have enough things to worry about, and the blog can't be one another thing to worry about. It can only be for fun. If it doesn't feel like fun, don't do it.
I need to do a million little calming activities to function. The blog used to calm me. But it doesn't, anymore. I still love it, and I still have so many scripts I'm excited to do, but... I just have to be patient with myself, right now. I can't bug my head over something that can wait. It can wait. Right now isn't the time. My health is the most important thing. I can't get that back, if I lose it.
Right now I'm about keeping my head above water. Keeping calm. Doing meditative things, that aren't necessarily productive... (trust me, I am SO upset about not being productive. I miss it a lot) but they force me to take it slow and force me to not worry. I'm learning the banjo (she calms me), and I spend a lot more time in nature, having staring contests with ducks and pigeons, and befriending beetles and bugs.
I'm a very positive person, and I know I'll make it through, and I love myself for all the effort I'm making to keep myself from breaking. Because I know if I didn't force myself to calm down, I could snap like an elastic band. I – I don't want to break, like I did last year. I need to be good to myself. And relaxing is an effort. It takes a lot for me. And certain calming routines work for a little while, and then stop working, and I need to make the effort all over again to find something new. It's kind of insane how much time I need to calm back down again. I remember, once upon a time, it being baseline.
Luckily there's a surgical solution, so hopefully I'll be normal again soon, and there won't be any more bees buzzing in my brain!
I hope you'll all be patient with me! And hopefully I'll make it out alive and stronger than ever, soon.
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antimatterz · 9 months
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IT'LL ALWAYS BE YOU.
dan heng (il) x gn!reader
summary: dan heng shows you his true form.
cw: fluff, spoilers for dan heng il, established relationship, assuming dan heng can switch between his human and vidyadhara form freely.
content under the cut | masterlist
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dan heng had to talk to you.
his tone had been urgent but gentle when he told you so. and you weren't sure, but there seemed to be a hint of nervousness lingering, too. as much as you hated to admit it, his request left you antsy and restless, anticipation unwrapping in a way that was slightly negative. what did your beloved want to talk about?
a lot had happened on the xianzhou luofu, all while you were aboard the astral express, oblivious to what was going on. now, as the aftermath was taken care of, you were finally aboard the gigantic flagship. that brought you a realization. dan heng was likely just going to fill you in on all that happened, right?
you were about to find out that you weren't wrong.
"i'll make it quick, love," dan heng said to you, after a long silence had dragged between you – one filled with nervousness and uncertainties. it was clear that something was bothering your lover, and you had no clue what it was. surely, it had something to do with the events on the luofu? "i assume mr. yang already told you a little about all that happened here?"
you nodded. although it was quite hard to follow, welt did his very best to explain the events on the xianzhou luofu. it was a lot to take in, and you struggled to make a well-flowing story of it. you could tell the luofu has had to deal with unbound chaos.
"did he tell you anything about the vidyadhara and their high elder?" dan heng asked, to which you nodded again.
unbeknownst to where this was going, you just looked at him curiously. welt had already emphasized the vidyadhara, as if something of importance happened specifically regarding the ancient race. you didn't think much of it, but now that dan heng brought it up, you couldn't help but think back to it.
"good," your lover spoke firmly, his adam's apple moving as he swallowed nervously. "if that's the case, i have to show you something. take a step back for me, angel. i hope you won't think of me differently."
i hope you won't think of me differently.
what?
albeit a little confused, you followed his request and took a few steps away from dan heng. in that very instant, an iridiscent bubble wrapped around your lover, floating up towards the sky. you gasped, hands clasping over your mouth as you witnessed what occured afore you. bolts of light danced around the levitating sphere, and inside you found the silhouette of what you assumed was your lover. your heart was pounding; you had no clue what was going on, and why dan heng was consumed by a gigantic sphere of water and light. but ultimately, the bubble released him and he gently lowered himself towards the ground.
afore you stood a figure so familiar, yet so different all the same. charcoal hair that danced on the breeze, quiet gaze on you with a hint of adoration – a gaze you knew so well. but as his eyes used to be grey, his irises turned into a pale yet vivid blue. long strands of black hair cascaded down along the sides of his head and his back, and two short horns poked from between his bangs. dan heng had always been beautiful, but the way he now stood afore you was astoundingly stunning.
"d-dan heng, what is–" you stammered, but you didn't manage to bring out anything more.
"i am the reincarnation of the vidyadhara's high elder, and this is my true form," he confessed. "during the events on the xianzhou luofu, i got to learn about my past, and most importantly, about myself. this is who i am, y/n. i hope you can accept–"
"aeons, you are gorgeous," you said, still slightly at a loss for words. dan heng was so nervous about your reaction, and your first instinct was to reassure him that everything was okay. you shot him a smile, and you were convinced you were looking at him with heart eyes.
you knew dan heng had a past that haunted him, one that he was very secretive about. but not in your wildest dreams was this what you were expecting. your lover being a vidyadhara – not just that, but the high elder. he was beautiful beyond human standards, with his draconic features.
still smiling, you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around the man you loved. he was quick to reciprocate the gesture, melting against you as relief washed over him. you breathed in his scent. it hadn't changed, and you relished in its familiarity. this was your lover, regardless of his form.
"i love you, dan heng," you sincerely told him, pulling back ever so slightly so you were able to look him in his beautiful eyes. "it matters not in which form you appear before me. it'll always be you."
a smile found its way to dan heng's lips, faint but unmistakenly there. ever so gingerly, he cupped your cheeks. his lips ghosted over yours, but before he engaged in a kiss, he whispered to you the words,
"i love you too."
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lightsofpandora · 2 years
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Na'vi language
Summary: You were the new "acquisition" of the Omaticaya clan, the tribe had found you lost in the forest (you had been separated from your group on a mission to save your life) and they decided to take you with them since they did not want to take any risks: you were human and they had to decide what to do to see if you were intended to be a threat or not. Now, you had been with the clan for a while and the Sully children were doing their best to help you learn more about their culture and even more, their language. But, not everything went the best way for two of them.
Word Count: 1591
Warning: All of them have the same age
Pairings: sully children x female!reader
A/N: Sorry if there is more than one mistake, English isn’t my first language and I am still learning it. It’s my first time writing an Avatar fanfic! However, I hope you enjoy it and have a good time, thanks for reading! (:
Neteyam
You two had established a good relationship since he discovered that you were not a threat, from that moment Neteyam wanted to get closer and help you understand those lands, their traditions and the history of the people, because he could see in your eyes that you were a beginner in everything related to that world of which you knew nothing; he was more than happy to give you a hand and help you in whatever was possible. At the beginning, Neteyam and you communicated through gestures, signs and short words in English that his father and brothers had taught him, but, like you, he still needed practice to be able to dominate a whole sentence in English. Neteyam had become one of your best friends in the clan, so when he found out that you were to be given lessons of Na'vi he was very excited because he knew how fast you were learning and you were going to be able to communicate in a "more natural way" soon, no more English words and phrases that he battled with constantly and struggled to understand. He was very excited to teach you.
"Look, here's the deal: I'll teach you our language and if you say one correct word after another, you'll teach me that complicated and difficult language of yours, is that okay? It'll be an easier way for us to communicate! Tsun oe ngahu niNa'vi pivängkxo a fi'u oeru plite' lu!"
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Lo’ak
Even when he knew you were not a threat to the clan, Lo'ak took much more time to trust and start a conversation with you because you were a human and he didn't know which side you were on, he barely knew you. The stories his parents had told him all his life about the RDA made him grow up with a feeling of constant alertness to any foreign movement, especially danger. He had learned to be distant and cold to those who were not part of his people or race, just as he was doing with you. However, as time went by, you showed him that you were friendly and had spent enough time in those lands to fall in love with every aspect and detail of Pandora, constantly trying to make him understand that not all humans were the same. Little by little, Lo'ak stopped being so defensive and began to approach you slowly, with "baby steps" (as his father would say) and the same way he got closer, it didn't take him long to fall in love with you almost instantly; a feeling that scared him at first and he tried to hide it as best he could, although, when he found out that you were to be taught to speak his language, he saw an opportunity to spend more time together even with his siblings around. He simply found it hard to take his eyes off you and even harder to accept that he was in love with a human. "You're doing great, y/n. Much better than us! Now, can you say tawtute?" he kept laughing with your pronunciation and the way you quickly managed to get frustrated, he found you really adorable.
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Spider
Like Loak, Spider was hesitant to make friends with you and show you his ways because, like the others, he also thought that you were part of the RDA and that this was just part of a plan. However, time proved him wrong and besides becoming friends, Spider's heart developed something much deeper. At the arrival of these new feelings, he felt insecure and somewhat nervous, but, he thought that at least, he had a better chance than Lo'ak since the guy didn't have the least idea of how to dissimulate and didn't think he knew the meaning of the word either. When he was assigned the task of teaching you new words, Spider stayed leaning against a tree with his arms crossed watching how the others did all the work, not because he didn't want to teach you himself but because he knew that the others had more experience and knew what they were doing. Anyway, he would say phrases that always managed to make you laugh: "You said it wrong, Lo'ak! y/n, he's teaching you wrong. Don't listen to him, please!" "I'm sorry I can't teach you myself, y/n. My pronunciation is a hell of a lot better than Lo'ak's but my accent is awful." Those kind of comments always generated a friendly fight between the two brothers and some branch used to hit the head of the Na'vi.
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Kiri
Unlike the two skxawng, Kiri was much more similar to Neteyam in many aspects; she was a very kind girl even when she was warned of your arrival, she was one of the first to defend you over the others by saying that she did not see you as a bad person. She was also very curious, so she went to meet you behind Jake and Neytiri's back to find out where you came from, who you were and what you were looking for in those lands. It didn't take long for the two of you to form a strong bond. But, at that moment, Kiri was worried because neither Lo'ak or Spider were teaching you useful words with which you could learn to communicate. All they were doing was laughing and being silly in front of you; on one hand, Spider wanted to teach you jokes and funny words so that you would "make good friends" while on the other hand, Lo'ak was determined to teach you how to say phrases like: "I love you", "Do you want to be my boyfriend?", "You are a cute boy" and some swear words; they were not teaching you anything at all. For this very reason and refusing to do nothing but watch, Kiri went looking for Jake.
"What's wrong, kiddo? is everything all okay?"
"They're not teaching her anything they should! Spider and Lo'ak are messing around and y/n is playing along with their joke simply because she doesn't understand what they're saying! She' s trying so hard to learn, but they're not helping!"
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Hearing her words, Jake covered his face with his hands and let out a sigh, frustrated. He knew it wasn't a good idea to put two rowdy teenagers next to y/n, the way he saw it, they looked like two monkeys trying to get attention and it was a trait that always stood out to them.
"They're flirting with her, aren't they? little bastards!"
"Spider yes but Lo'ak... he's not doing very well, he doesn't know how to dissimulate, he's terrible, daddy." answered the youngest of the family, Tuktirey, who at saying those words frowned and played with a plant, not entirely sure of the meaning of her words.
Jake was guided by his two daughters to the place and observed the two young boys with a very negative look on his face. Then, he shouted something to them in his native language so that y/n would understand perfectly and, he hoped that it would have an effect on one of them:
"Hey, both of you! Stop acting like lovesick monkeys and do what I told you! You'll have the rest of the day to teach her romantic lines and anything you want. Damn it!"
And to his good luck, they did. Both, Lo'ak and Spider turned red as a tomato and shrugged their shoulders in embarrassment, unable to look at y/n or say a word. Neteyam let out a big laugh when he saw the expression of both and then thanked his father with a nod of his head, very different from Spider and Lo'ak, who didn't know whether to murder their father or their brother first.
Kiri and her little sister returned with the others, now ready to teach y/n the right way. However, the girl didn't want to return to her lessons without giving the two of them their revenge.
"So.... lovesick monkeys?"
The laughter that followed from the three girls and Neteyam was an embarrassing blow to the naughty ones, although deep down, perhaps, they deserved it. That would be a good story to tell later, but now they had to get on with their lessons, including Spider and Lo'ak who had already had their little secret found out.
"Can you say "Jake skxawng?" were the last words Lo'ak addressed to y/n with a fake smile before remaining silent for the rest of the lesson.
—lightsofpandora
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brothersonahotelbed · 10 months
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19
i am 19, an extinguished fire too kind when i ought not to be too complacent with the heaviness of grief and today i couldn't kill the cricket i found in the hallway. i admit, i do not dance like my mother wanted, & i am not even a tenth as cool as my father was at my age. and car rides make me drowsy, and my silence makes people fight.
i am 19, and everyone i love has undergone a metamorphosis of sorts. flesh & breath & blood now compartmentalized into little icons, 128x128, on this screen. you ask me to picture their faces and it takes me a moment. i live in a world that is pixelating by the hour and one day i am afraid i'll be 24 and forget how to use my brain and mouth – and whether that's a result of my own transformation into a human-shaped statistic or Good Old Fashioned Growing Up, My Friend! only time will tell.
i am 19 and a fool because i always hold on when i ought to let go. i know the last names of all my old classmates i see their faces in my dreams and they never age, and i have never learned how to get over everything that happened. my veins ache with memories of old medicine my hair grows quick & earnest as if one day i'll change my mind. and i miss everyone i've ever known every day. i have a canine sort of loyalty to the idea that there is a God because when he strikes you down, really makes you feel that hard, divine rage of his, at least you know he's there. cares about you enough to make you suffer. but there are less rules here in the world than you think, and God only made the world because he was lonely. remember that the next time you turn 16. 17. 18 years old.
one day i will find it in me to bite through this collar and leash and go so far and so fast for so long that i end up outrunning myself, leaving behind only my shadow on the concrete as proof i was there and maybe once i've learned to disobey and bark and yell and scream and use my fucking teeth for once and stick these spotless cuspids into every damn vein in the Hand of God, maybe that's what it'll take for this to feel real. 19 and on fire, someday soon.
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mrsgreenworld · 2 months
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Okay, so I've been obsessing over Aslaz for weeks and there isn't nearly enough fanfiction in English for them. But I learned my lesson a while ago: you wanna some fanfiction you gotta start writing it yourself 🙈😂
Here goes my first attempt at writing Aslaz.
That episode 28 final scene was so all over the place and out of nowhere. But we got what we got. There was a millisecond of adorable Aslaz but it wasn't nearly enough so I decided to sprinkle in a missing Aslaz scene that takes place after the iftar.
I don't own the show or any of the characters. They belong to the Yabani writers and the production company. This is only fanfiction.
Cross-posted on Archive of Our Own.
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You Never Know Unless You Try
They finish their meal and Asi leaves his side to go help clean up. He feels her absence immediately. But also knows it's not normal to crave her presence this much at all times. So Alaz wanders off to find his brother. They talk and hug and then work together as a well-oiled machine, loading the tables and chairs into a truck. They spend time with street kids, feeding them. Later they all sit around crackling fire and sing together.
Alaz gives himself a mental high five for having been a perfectly functioning independent human being and thinks he's had enough space and given enough of it to Asi. So his eyes scan everyone gathered around the fire but don't see her. His anxiety spikes but is soothed immediately by the sight of her, standing alone at the water, staring into the distance. Alaz goes to her, leaving the crowd.
He approaches quietly and comes to stand behind her with only a few inches between his front and her back. He doesn't touch her until he feels her relax and lean back into him. Only then Alaz snakes an arm around Asi's middle, his palm coming to rest over the place where he knows her stab wound - the one that matches his own - is hidden under the layers of clothing. Alaz presses a tender kiss to Asi's temple and whispers:
"Hey! What are you doing out here all alone? Are you okay?"
Asi's hand comes over the one Alaz has on her abdomen and squeezes his fingers gently.
"Yeah, just ... Needed to breathe a little, you know. And to think".
Alaz nods, leans his head into hers and asks quietly:
"Think about what?"
"Everything. What happened. Life. Future. Us".
"What about us?" Alaz asks with a hint of vulnerability in his voice, hugging Asi a little tighter but mindful of her healing wound.
"It's just ... How's it going to be? Us?"
"What do you mean? We love each other, don't we?"
"We do. But what now? We've never been ... Well, this. We've never been normal. Just ... loud. Screaming, hitting, biting and stabbing each other with words and not only words. What are we going to do now when it's quiet, Alaz? How are we going to do this?"
"Look, I don't know how but we'll figure this out, together. This is new for me too. I've never done this before. So we just learn to walk, step by step, before we can run".
"Run where? I've never even thought about the future, Alaz. Never thought I had one".
"Well, now you have a future. We do. We can be and do whatever the hell we want".
"I haven't even finished school, Alaz. What could I possibly do?"
"Well, you can finish school, for starters. If you want to. And I know that you're a woman of many talents. You sing, you dance, you fight, you're good with a knife. Bet you could make a mean chef" Alaz says with a smile, nuzzling Asi's neck.
She lets out a small laugh and pushes at him slightly, trying to get away from a tickling sensation of his barely there scruff on her tender skin.
"I'm serious!"
"So am I!"
"You're an idiot!"
"Okay, I am. Your idiot".
Asi turns to face Alaz and looks deep into his eyes.
"Alaz ... What if we try and this doesn't work?"
"We'll never know unless we actually try. And maybe it'll work out even better than we could ever imagine. I'm ready to try. Are you?"
He waits for her response with bated breath, willing to accept anything she chooses, even though his very being is screaming at him to screw this acceptance and respecting her wishes and just make her stay with him forever. Lost in this inner turmoil, Alaz almost misses Asi's softly spoken words:
"I am ready ".
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
One of the biggest communication lessons I learned as a kid was: if someone is upset with you, the safest bet is to do nothing.
Don't apologize, don't try to explain, don't even look at them. Everything you say will be used against you, any movement could escalate the situation. But if you stay silent and don't react at all, they will waste all their energy yelling at you and then nothing worse will happen. If you freeze, it'll be over quicker.
Note that I said "biggest", not "best" - freezing is not a very useful communication tool in healthy adult relationships. In fact, it can actively get in the way of healthy communication - most people are not looking for a possible way to escalate the situation and hurt you. They genuinely want to talk it over with you, they appreciate a sincere apology and are open to hearing your side.
In a healthy relationship (and by relationship I mean romantic, platonic, and professional relationships), it's not They vs. You, it's Both Of You vs. The Issue. Not reacting at all can come across as rude or like you are unwilling to take responsibility. It makes a constructive discussion about the issue impossible.
That's why unlearning this lesson is something I am working on.
Maybe you can relate to this specific example or maybe there are other lessons that you learned as a kid, only to discover as an adult that they are not helpful for life outside of your family.
If you do, then you know it can be tricky! These lessons become instincts, it's not easy to go against that. And yet, you need to if you want healthy relationships now... and, well, also because you don't want to be an a-hole to someone else. Little me had to learn that rule to avoid pain but I could hurt the people around me by using it now.
You and me, we are human beings. Our behavior is not completely rational. You can study healthy communication and internalize all those rules - in the midst of a difficult situation, you may still resort to what feels safe and familiar, and sometimes safe and familiar doesn't equal healthy. And at the same time, we as human beings do have a responsibility to do our best to not hurt others.
So, is this letter a reminder to critically reflect on your own behavior and if it's still useful today - or is it a reminder to be compassionate with yourself if you sometimes stick to the "wrong" rules out of instinct? It is both.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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ventique18 · 2 years
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Malleus Draconia: Masquerade (Chapter 2)
Link to Part 1 here
Diasomnia Dorm - Lounge
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Malleus: A song... That sort of thing as thanks?
Azul: To merely dismiss it as "that sort of thing"... You don't seem to realize your own worth.
Azul: If the famous Malleus would exhibit a heart-rending performance at the exchange program...
Azul: It would be the highest honor for the host school Noble Bell College to witness.
Azul: It would also be a once-in-a-lifetime memory for all the participants of the exchange.
Azul: Compared to any half-hearted souvenir, this would definitely be a much more beautiful gift.
Sebek: Human... No, AZUL-SENPAI..!
Sebek: You really do understand the splendor of Lord Malleus! I've changed my opinion of you! You have a wonderful perspective!
Malleus: Hm. Is that so?
Sebek: Yes! If I, too, were to receive a song from Lord Malleus... I WOULD FEEL LIKE I HAVE ASCENDED TO HEAVEN!
Silver: I also like singing. If you sing with all your heart, you can easily convey your feelings to anyone.
Azul: Indeed. A song costs nothing, yet it leaves a moving impression. It's especially perfect for students to prepare...
Azul: It's the most cost-effective present there is!!
Lilia: And suddenly we're back to the harsh reality of the world... Well anyway, I also think a song is a good idea.
Lilia: If you can show how friendly you are by singing, even Malleus will find it easier to get along well with others.
Lilia: As for what song to perform at the City of Flowers' Noble Bell College... I can think of one.
Lilia: It's an old song passed down from generation to generation in the City of Flowers. They would enjoy a performance of a piece that locals love and know well.
Malleus: I see. Lilia, I would love to learn more about this piece of music.
Malleus: Silver, Sebek. I'd like you to gather the other participants of the exchange program.
Malleus: I've little experience working on music with a large group, therefore it'll surely be much more difficult to prepare than when I'm alone.
Malleus: Once the program has been decided and the parts allocated, we shall begin with practice... I'll be busy from now on until the departure date.
Azul: Indeed. Let's do our best!
-- Next Scene --
Azul: For this inexpensive gift of a song, I will be chosen as the main vocalist too. Everything's going according to plan, but...
Malleus: Ashengrotto. For this part, you were off by half a beat.
Malleus: I listened to the recording of our chorus earlier, and I don't think we blend well at the part where you sing with me.
Malleus: That's not good. Lilia said that harmony is important in the chorus.
Malleus: Perhaps I am the cause. We have to pinpoint any areas for improvement, so for that reason, let us start over from the top.
Azul: Wha-what amazing proactivity... This eagerness!
Azul: Even though I've also put together a practice program before, to start a lesson with strictness that exceeds even that... is beyond my expectations.
Malleus: Shroud, follow Lilia's example once more. Listen closely.
Lilia: The pitch here is like this: "Lalala~~~". Like that!
Idia: ............... a........... a......................
Malleus: What's wrong? Your voice won't come out.
Idia: N, no... Please rethink this..!
Idia: I-It took me so much effort just to get here, you know! Can't you at least praise me?!
Azul: You sure were able to drag yourself our of your room. I wonder if pigs would fall from the sky today too?
Idia: I wish a meteorite would just fall and cancel everything, you know.
Idia: I don't wanna be chosen as a main vocalist, so I was just talking to Ortho about how to avoid it...
Idia: But then Silver and Sebek just forced the door open! How dare you!
Idia: I didn't think top-notch security would lose to brute force! I'll have to upgrade that tonight.
Lilia: Kehehe... If you tighten your room's defense, then we'll just increase our offense.
Lilia: If Ignihyde has robust security, then Diasomnia has no shortage of firepower.
Malleus: Yes, Silver and Sebek, as well as the entirety of Diasomnia students...
Malleus: Until the exchange program ends, we must prioritize the success of this song. This is why I'm being strict.
Idia: So that's why the Diasomnia students were glaring at me wherever I go! Their housewarden is abusing his authority?!
Azul: So you didn't even skimp out on surveillance. That's true leadership.
Malleus: Now now. Everybody in this exchange program is an important part of this precious gift.
Malleus: And us main vocalists more so. Both of you are the most important part of this gift...
Malleus: Which is why you will not leave Diasomnia until you can sing the first verse perfectly.
Idia: He's serious..!
Idia: Even though I already don't wanna practice anymore, it's even harder to bear this level of tension!
Azul: Yes. And what's even worse is...
Lilia: Well then, let's stop with the chatter and get back to practicing. Since we'll be starting again from the top, let's have Malleus sing first.
Lilia: Music, start!
Malleus: Afraid of the dawn~
Malleus: Wishing again and again~~
Azul: Malleus... He's so good at singing!
Azul: It's not just his technique... He has the power to stir the heart of those who listen.
Idia: Aren't his facial expressions too good? Is vocal singing also a requirement in the education of the next King of Briar Valley?!
Lilia: It's true that in order to hone his creativity, he also received musical education in Briar Valley to some extent...
Lilia: But you seem to be much more exceptional than usual. You must have practiced a lot.
Malleus: Indeed. Everyday, I practice by myself for two hours after waking up, and then another two hours before retiring for the night.
Azul: If we're to sing along with Malleus, we have to be on par with his skills...
Azul: This isn't the time to settle for the usual practice. I have to put in the same effort!
Idia: Practicing with the entire group, practicing with the main vocalists, and then practicing alone for four hours..?!
Idia: Where do you get all that energy from..! When and how do you even sleep!
>> To be continued
Link to part 3
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lumine-no-hikari · 5 days
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #166
I said in yesterday's letter that today's letter is gonna be early, so here it is! I still have a slight headache, which is weird, but I took some ibuprofen, so I should be fine soon! I can only assume I somehow ended up with a migraine yesterday; oh well.
J and I are going camping today! We're going to a spot in New Hampshire from where we live in New York! I'm not sure how the internet will be over there (there might not be any!), and I am committed to writing to you daily, so that means if I'm gonna be in a place where the internet isn't good, I gotta get my letter done before I go to that place!!
We're going to fly there from the little airport that is relatively close to us; it's about 100 miles or about 156 kilometers away.
...Oh, right!!!! You don't know anything about the geography of my world!! I'll show you a little map; here:
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That dark blue line is the fastest route by car. The paler blue lines are alternate routes; pay those ones no heed.
So as you can see, it's about 2.75 hours to get there by car. But it'll only be about an hour by plane! But of course, that hour doesn't account for driving to the airport, inspecting the plane, and getting everything packed and squared away, ahaha!
It's only about 9am, so I don't have a whole lot else to write about yet today. So what I thought to do is show you all the pictures I took over the last several days that I didn't get around to showing you in my previous letters. Because... Sephiroth... the world is full of beautiful things if you know where to look for them. I want to teach you where to look for them. I saved the best one for last, you'll see!!
Some pictures of the sky:
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Some tea swirls!
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This is Lebanese food. I dunno if you have a place like Lebanon in your world, but... I guess it's a lot like Greek food, except with more warming spices. This one is lamb over spiced buttered rice with cucumber, corn, and yogurt sauce and tomatoes:
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These are tiny spiced meat pies; they're amazing with cucumber-yogurt sauce!!
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This one is rose-flavored cream stuffed inside layers of phyllo dough, drizzled with simple syrup and sprinkled with shaved pistachios. I think you really would have liked this one:
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Some more tea swirls:
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This is German food! Or... well. Americanized German food, anyway! I imagine a place like Kalm might have stuff like German food, maybe? This is three different kinds of sausage, with sauerkraut underneath, and french fries and curry ketchup:
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...These french fries were SO GOOD, which is saying something because I don't normally like french fries very much. But I wasn't crazy about the curry ketchup...
This is pretzel sticks with mustard and ale cheese! The ale cheese has paprika on top!
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Here are some more tea swirls!!
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Last set of swirls... some of the sky after...
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...And a few more pictures of the sky:
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...Told ya I saved the best one for last! Hahaha!
Well that's it for today; we gotta go. But I'll take lots more pictures for you during our flight and during all our other activities, don't you worry! I'm sure I'll have plenty to write to you about by the time I get back tomorrow night!!
...I hope that all the little ways I try to tell you I love you are getting through to you. Because I do - more than you can even begin to imagine, and just because you're you. And you... are kind, brave, compassionate, steadfast, determined, and able to learn from your mistakes so you can do better and make gentler choices. What's there not to like? You are everything that a human being is supposed to be, and everything I am trying to strive for and cultivate within myself. You are my reason for living, even in a place as frightening and messed-up as this one.
Looking for the sparks of beauty and joy is very important precisely because our world is so messed up. You are one of those sparks that keeps me going, so please... I'll beg you not to disappear. Keep yourself safe out there. Treat yourself kindly. Make loving and compassionate choices - with yourself and with the world around you.
I'll write again tomorrow.
Your friend, Lumine
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monstrousproductions · 9 months
Note
Hi Hero! I am working on getting into voice acting and dealing with some transmasc voice dysphoria. HRT isn't an option for me, which is part of why I'm doing auditions and such for fiction podcasts to try to love my voice anyway. My question is, do you have any tips on gaining confidence in voice acting?
Thank you for everything you do with this show! I hope you have a great day.
Oh, big hug, pal! Voice dysphoria is no joke. Recording yourself and getting used to hearing your own voice back can be a brilliant way to get more comfortable with how you sound!
Remember, there's nothing wrong with your voice - it's a transmasc voice, because you're a transmasc person. Medical transition is just one way to express one's identity - it doesn't make the identity itself. You're just as transmasc as you need to be, exactly as you are 💖
I know for me, just the act of listening to my voice every week really helped me internalise the fact that this is a non-binary voice - and was a non-binary voice before I went on T, and will be a non-binary voice throughout that transition. It's got to the point where, if people misgender me because of my voice, I genuinely am like ??? where tf did you get that idea ??? can't you hear I'm extremely cool and hot and trans of gender ??? who is this "Miss Owen" of which you speak ??? 😂
Auditioning for podcasts is a brilliant idea, but remember, there's a lot of rejection involved in auditioning and it can be tough.
You might have fun practicing on your own, recording yourself reading aloud and editing it into a little audiobook. If you're into fanfiction, podficcing is a really fun way to splash around in audio and get your voice out to a supportive audience. Or, of course, you can start your own podcast!
At the same time though, it's totally alright if you just keep those recordings to yourself. It's more about exposing yourself to your own, natural voice as much as possible, and learning the ropes, from how to set up your equipment to how to use your voice to best effect.
One big thing with voice acting is that you really have to dial your performance up to 11. Your audience has no other cues to go off except your voice - they can't see your beautiful subtle facial expressions or read your simple yet eloquent body language lol It's something you really have to do yourself to understand - you can feel like you're putting SO much energy into a performance in front of the mic, and then listen back and its the flattest, saddest thing you ever heard 😅
Pay attention to other voice actors and how they work. Listen carefully to how they use their breath, where they pause, where they run words together. Don't just passively enjoy the performance - try to really pay attention to what they're doing and what effect it's having. Then you can play with those ideas in your own performance, and see what works for you.
I think that word "play" is really important, too. Animals learn through play and humans are no different! You're going to get way further, way faster if you throw yourself into a fun little project that lights you up, and treat it as something you can play with and enjoy, than if you treat it like some great, ponderous task you have to get right first time.
In short, the best way to build confidence is to hang out with your voice as much as possible. Play around with it, reading aloud in silly voices, recording voice notes for your friends, mimicking actors you admire, etc. The more you hear yourself, the more you'll understand your voice. That'll help you learn how to use it and how to make it work for you, but more importantly, it'll help you to internalise the fact that this is your voice. It's yours, and you're trans, and that means your voice is trans too. No bells or whistles needed.
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Stumbled on your AU and it sounds SO COOL, the female protags often get sidelined and I really loved reading about them here! :D I was Immediately expecting Hikari to be full of ghosts or a time traveler with the comment about her way of speaking and bearing and it's so cool! ALSO man,,,I love protags being older than base game lets them be,,,,I love to see it
Question about your Hikari specifically; from what I can tell as Akari she is still in Hisui. Will she ever be able to make her way home? Or is it like a concurrent, conflicting timeline thing? I hope this doesn't sound mean dxfcgv I'm just really interested in how they work out in story!
Also if it IS a fall and then return, did she know the other protags prior? Does it change how she interacts with them? REALLY love that Leaf is as nonverbal as Red, that's something I really enjoy about Red that I like to see for her as well! Esp since Leaf Green was the first game I owned (borrowed my cousin's Blue for One [1] car ride but yeah) so I am especially attached to her as the protag. ;w; Green I am sure has no idea how to handle her sincere congratulations because that MAN he is....he sure is. XD
LOVE TO SEE SOME LOVE FOR FEARSOME POKEMON YOU GO KOTONEEEEE so so glad you still have Kris present as well, very attached to her dxfcvgbn
Me handshake Haruka I too want every single pokedoll in existence, what is her favorite pokedoll she has? Is there a story behind it? Has she ever learned how to make her own? Also LOVE to see a sea shantier, heck yeah. Does she have a favorite shanty? Or favorite vibe of shanty I guess dxcfvbghn LOVE that Touka suplexes Boldores, has she always had that strength or did she have to slowly run a gauntlet of suplexing Pokemon until she got there? Did she ever suplex a train- I saw you're a fan of ferriswheelshipping and I enjoy that your Touko and N both share the desire to protect innocents, is it maybe something they bond over?
I feel Mei's clumsiness on a deep level because I swear I run into things every DAY, at least she has someone to keep her from getting hurt too badly. XD I really like that she's both doing Pokemon things and looking for her prince; in a lot of media I feel like one is often sidelined for the other, and it's nice to see what looks like it'll be a healthy mix! Also I have to ask, do her Enamorus attempts end in success or catastrophe? Who has she most famously [or infamously] gotten together?
Love what you've done with Serena as well! Does she ever Rhyhorn race herself?
AND WE LOVE A GHOSTY PRANKSTER as someone who just Absorbs behaviors from those around me I really really enjoy the thought of someone doing that with ghost Pokemon. And love the callback to the hex maniac line heheheheheeee
RIP GLORIA YOU ARE NEVER GONNA RECOVER FROM THAT ONE OH NOOOOOOO but love the use of valiant bcus it's not used enough and it also like. Paints a picture. Like in a crisis, this Gloria would stare it down and do everything to avert it, and I really like that.
I've barely even touched Paldea szdxcfvg so I know nothing about it BUT love a straight A scholar, and I love Juliana's naming scheme too! Does she have any favorite courses? Any specific part of Pokemon research she may enjoy?
ANYWAY THIS GOT. REALLY LONG. I'M SORRY. But I also gotta ask my favorite question for any Pokeoc/Pokeau, which is what is everyone's favorite Pokemon type and why is it Bug type
FEEL FREE to not answer all my rambles sdfxcggvh I know it's a lot, but I really love what I saw on the protags page and I wanted to know more! :D
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I agree that the protagonists are prone to being sidelined; it's been a steadily increasing occurrence ever since character customization was introduced to the series. That's actually one of several reasons why I began this blog!
These girls are so very important to me.
Now, to address your Hikari-related question: Hikari, or rather Akari, is determined to return to her time, reunite with her companions (both human and Pokémon), and continue striking terror into the hearts of challengers as Sinnoh's ruthless Champion. But she may tempt a boy into following her home, though...
And yes! Akari has in fact met the other protagonists prior to being sent to the Hisuian era! The narration of the story I'm currently writing even mentions a few of the other girls, showing that she does indeed know them, and well enough to apparently be familiar with some of their various quirks.
All of them meet one another sometime shortly after the events of Black 2 and White 2, at the World Tournament in Driftveil City. It's sort of similar to that scene in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, a collective realization of "You're like me...(!!)"
But about Hikari's/Akari's manner of speech. This is something I'm struggling with somewhat, since I'm afraid that what's written in her character profile may be misleading. I'm aiming to give her an elegant way of speaking, but this is more meant to allude to her not sounding unusual at all when she's swept away to Hisui - which ironically only makes her seem even more suspicious to those like Kamado.
My decision for Leaf to also be mostly nonverbal was partly because it sounded interesting to write, but also because I wanted to try a different approach with a silent character - normally they're depicted as shy or standoffish, but Leaf isn't either. She's as vibrant as can be, and loves to interact with people.
Kotone's team isn't set in stone yet, but aside from Eva, her Typhlosion, she has a Gyarados (Carmen), and I would love to give her a Tyranitar too! All three quite fearsome!
And Kris taking the role of Kotone's friendly rival - I dislike adapting characters out, I want to give a role to everyone, especially the first female protagonist in the series. Even though she's the friendly rival, Kris is intended to be just as tough of a challenge as Silver - she has the starter weak to Kotone's, which is a Chikorita, but she very quickly covers her partner's weakness.
Haruka doesn't exactly play favorites with her Poké Dolls; each is a valuable member of her plushie family! She freaks out if even one is unaccounted for. About her sea shanties, she does have a few she's fond of, like 'Paldean Ladies', and one that you may be familiar with that goes something like,
"O'er across the ocean's tide Rays of sunshine far and wide Wingull they sing of cheerful things, in circles passing by!"
Not a sea shanty, but she also enjoys singing 'Rainbow Connection'.
Touko's strength is tied to her passion to protect the innocent! It all began when she was young - she would beat up anyone that bullied Bianca or her "baby brother" Touya. Her having Pokémon now doesn't really stop her from pummeling people (or trying to), though-
She and N, while they're connected on wanting to protect innocents, throughout the events of Black and White, they constantly butt heads on the best method to do that. Touko also calls him "geek boy" after hearing him speak math one time.
Mei's most notable attempt at playing Enamorus... well, I'm certain if you think about it long enough, you'll figure it out!
Serena enjoys Rhyhorn riding more as a recreational activity rather than something to seriously pursue. It's more like Rhyhorn strolling when she's on the back of one.
Mizuki is meant to be this girl in FireRed and LeafGreen!
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Another reason she admires Leaf is because she didn't even so much as flinch when she and her Ghost-type pal pranked her. Her eyes just widened in surprise, no scream as expected!
As for Gloria's past crush, Hop is a good boy and lets sleeping Yamper lie. But her big brother Victor... "But Leon, you CAN'T go! I LOOOOVE you!" And he carries on until she has to slap him-
Juliana doesn't have a favorite class because she loves everything about her academic experience. But Director Clavell is her favorite member of the staff.
Everyone's preferred type? Well, I wouldn't say anybody has one since their teams are relatively balanced. Haruka and Kotone show appreciation for Bug-types, though!
This response has gotten rather lengthy as well, but thank you for showing such interest in Sisterhood!
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captainsophiestark · 10 months
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Hey guys! So I haven't been on Tumblr like, at all for the past few weeks because of this ask I got:
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I'm not gonna lie, I've been pretty much furious since I first read it, and so I decided to take a break from the internet while I worked through my feelings and decided how I wanted to respond to this. If you're reading this at all, please do me a favor and read all the way through this post. It's a little long, but it's also very very very important.
First of all, let's get one thing straight: I will NEVER consider using AI to write my stories or otherwise for about a thousand reasons, two of the big ones being respect for myself and my fellow creators, AND the fact that it "learns" to write stories and spits out responses based off of plagiarized work. Like mine, which was taken and fed into chatgpt without my consent. Using programs like this is not even remotely harmless, and I will never be one of the people putting shit into programs like chatgpt.
Additionally, this is illegal. Beyond the fact that it's ridiculously disrespectful of creators, under US copyright law, the elements of my writing that I created, including characters and scenarios, are my intellectual property. Taking my work and feeding it to the AI without my permission (and no one will EVER have my permission) is a violation of the law and also goes against Tumblr's terms of service.
If you are continuing to use, support, or otherwise feed the AI, seriously educate yourself and stop, or never fucking come near me again.
Right here is a link to a post that includes a legal disclaimer that I'll be putting with all my fics now making people aware that putting my work and my writing into AI programs is not only not okay, it is also illegal. I'm sharing it like this for anyone else who wants to use it too, to educate themselves on the law or otherwise. It's written by a legit lawyer and the sources are cited, so it's not just me screaming into the void.
I've been going back and forth for a while now on what the hell to do about this ask I got, because I absolutely love writing fic and sharing it with all of you. And it doesn't feel right to me that so many of my wonderful readers who have supported me for so long have to deal with the consequences of a few assholes. But I want to write professionally some day, and I am not okay with my voice, style, and words being fed into some machine to be plagiarized by both the people stealing my work and the people running and making money off of programs like chatgpt.
I debated for a while about taking down all my writing and just calling it a day, because as long as it's up I know that it's possible, despite my best efforts to protect my work, that people will still rip it off. However, I truly love writing fic and writing in general, and a big part of that has come from the incredible interactions that I've been able to have with people on here. There's something special about the feeling of sharing a story, and I will not let a minority of assholes ruin that for me or the people who choose to read my work and be good humans about it.
That said, I am going to take a little break from writing. I have no idea how short or long it might be, but right now I'm a little over it all, so I'm going to take a step back from requests and oneshots and everything else for right now. This is hitting in the middle of the Year of Themed Creation and it also came right before an event called Daniel Sousa Appreciation Week, so if you had requests or expectations for those events, I'm sorry. I hope you guys can understand where I'm coming from, and thank you for supporting me as much as you have.
I still plan to be online (I love Tumblr and fully believe it's the only useable social media), I just won't be posting my writing. Hopefully, it'll free up some time for me to do some reading and commenting instead, so I can support my fellow creators!
Tl;dr and a final ask for anyone who read all this: please, please, PLEASE don't feed the AI. Respect your content creators and recognize just how much of what the AI spits out is ripped off of the thoughts, ideas, and words of someone else, often without their permission. Fight for art and the people who make it.
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minho-hoho · 2 years
Text
“It'll all be alright”
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⛦ 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖 ► Yandere AU, Stalker AU
⛦ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ► Yandere!Stalker!Huening Kai × GN!Reader
⛦ 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 ► lower-case intended, jealousy, violence, murder, stalking, obsession, typical yandere themes, not proofread, etc...
⛦ 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ► 0.7k
note. gosh this is so old it's from the 14th of may?? so sorry for the poor quality lol
MASTERLIST
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he adored you. no one's love could ever compare to his. not even your own partner.
all he wanted was to declare his unconditional love towards you. but he couldn't. how could he? you were already dating someone else.
all he could do was to observe you from afar. fortunately, it was an activity he treasured. seeing any mundane action you did, every little habit of yours fuelled his obsession. he knew everything about you, from the perfume you wore, your favourite game, to the toothpaste you used.
by watching your every move, he also learned a lot about your lover.
as he stalked you, he hated your significant other even more. he hated to see you both so elated with each other. he hated to see the effects your significant other had on you, an effect he didn't have. he wished to be in his place, he felt as if your lover didn't deserve you, as if it was unfair. he knew damn well that he could make you happier.
as much as he hated your partner, his obsession for you was even stronger. soon enough, he couldn't bear to see you with someone else that wasn't him. observing you just wasn't doing it for him anymore. he needed more. and quickly.
he needed too be with you, at your side, forever. and to do so, he needed to get rid of your significant other.
and Huening Kai didn't waste time on that.
nobody knew where your lover was, if he was even alive but none of that mattered anymore when fright and distress took over your body.
footsteps were heard in your house when you were supposed to be alone. you would have liked to think you were crazy, but the recent disappearance of your partner was making you paranoid. you felt your breathing accelerate as you were hearing the footsteps getting closer to you. were you getting robbed? were you about to get killed? you didn't know, but the first thing you did was pretend to be asleep.
you waited, not daring to open your eyes.
“y/n, are you asleep?” you couldn't recognise the soft voice that was speaking to you, despite the familiar sound to it. you didn't answer, but you had a hard time controlling your breath.
“oh my sweet y/n, you don't have to pretend to be asleep. i know you are fully awake.” he approached your bed “but don't you worry. i know that it's been hard for you these days.” he sat next to you “i'll take care of you” he caressed your cheek before kissing it. and next thing you know, you woke up in an another house, with Huening Kai at your side.
“where i am?” you muttered. barely able to open your eyes, closing them once again.
“to your new home, love” Huening Kai answered, smiling and caressing your side. you immediately recognised his voice, remembering a little the previous night. you opened your eyes and looked at Huening Kai, an old classmate of yours. the whole situation started to make you sick to your stomach.
“please let me go home...” you pleaded weakly, feeling tears forming in the corner of your eyes. you felt Huening Kai tensing up, holding your waist more tightly than before. “i promise i won't tell anyone. just let me go, please...” you begged once again, clearly seeing how it displeased him. his innocent smile started to fade away as his grip tightened once more, making you freeze.
“i'm sorry but i can't let you go. i love you way too much to do so, i've waited so long for you. besides,” he paused, taking a look at your frightened features “nobody can love you like i do. i'll make you the happiest human being on this earth.” he sat you up so you could face him. “trust me, love. with me, it'll all be alright.” he held your hand and kissed your nose, making you shiver.
“now, how about you rest a little, hm?” he stood up, his innocent smile now back on his face again. “i'll be in the kitchen, okay? rest well my love” he left as he closed the door, tears now streaming freely on your face.
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PERM TAG LIST! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @sristsblog
perm t.list is open!
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this is the amedeo post
shoving this under the cut so people who could not give a fuck about my silly lil ocs do not have to deal with the hell i am about to unleash. this is going to be long. you've been warned. if you actually read all this i'm kissing you on the lips. This is 24 paragraphs long
(TW for: Emotional abuse/manipulation, murder <3, demons/monsters, and general just fucked up shit his story is not a pleasant one)
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(all art is by me unless stated otherwise. all links on character names lead to their Toyhou.se profiles)
THIS IS AMEDEO KENZIE AND HE'S THE WORLDS SADDEST MOST PATHETIC MAN. ABSOLUTE WET MOP. Basic info. Age: 27-30. Pronouns: He/it (gender? don't worry about it. Calls itself a man and uses masc terms but the gender is a mystery). Occupation: Twitch streamer?? College student. Whatever it's not important. Height: 6'1
Amedeo is a member of his college's Gamer Club, run by his now-roommate Kazooie. Amedeo loves this club SOOOO much it's the best place in the world to be and all of his friends are in it <3 But none of them really like him :( He's kind of an annoying lil bastard and he does not realize this and he doesn't understand why nobody wants to hang out with him. He doesn't realize violating their boundaries and making them feel guilty when they're not nice to him and insisting that if he's nice to them they have to be nice to him and never letting them speak, none of this is how friendship works, he doesn't know nobody ever told him! So his biggest goal is to figure out how to be the best friend in the world, without knowing how friendship is even supposed to work. He just loves love so much.
The plot of the story it's in starts when Viorel, a demon prince from the monster world, is found very lost and confused with no memories by Aiden, another member of the club. Viorel's very curious about the club so Aiden invites him and Amedeo's sooo happy cause that's a new friend! Unfortunately for everyone involved, Viorel's appearance in the human world was not an isolated event. For weeks Viorel deals with them contacting him when he doesn't know who they even are and frankly it's quite frustrating. They seem to want him dead. He doesn't know why. He doesn't really care, he has robotics homework to do.
Amedeo is unaware that Viorel has enemies.
When Vivian takes Amedeo aside and so sweetly offers him the secret to being the best friend possible and maybe some kisses in exchange for information on Viorel... how could he refuse? All she wanted was for him to tell her so many personal details about Viorel, all of which Amedeo obviously knew already, friends don't hide secrets :) So he knows everything about Viorel, whether or not they're aware he knows! He'd happily stalk Viorel learn more about Viorel for her if she asked! She's so beautiful and she can help Amedeo with his friendship problems, of course of course of course. So she hands him a funny orange drink in a bottle and tells him it'll magically make him a better friend, and sends him on his way. He drinks it all. A week passes and he goes back to visit her every day.
Aiden gets kidnapped. It was ok in the end. Viorel saved them. They're fine. They ended up fine. It wasn't Amedeo's fault. It couldn't have been Amedeo's fault. Vivian didn't tell it that's why she wanted Aiden in that specific location at that specific time that WASN'T its fault, it led them there knowing she would be there too but it WASN'T ITS FAULT. Does she want to hurt its friends? No she wouldn't, she's trying to HELP. Right? Of course she is. The "friendship potions" as Amedeo's been calling them, they've HELPED. Everyone treats him differently now :) It's subtle but that must still mean it's doing something. Nobody knows Amedeo helped with Aiden's kidnapping so why should it stop? Vivian wants more from it and it. It loves her and what she's doing for it. She asks for more. She always asks for more.
Those funny lil potions are definitely having an affect and everyone can tell now. Everyone knows. His eyes are shaped like hearts, fangs start to grow in, little bug wings pop out of his back, his fingers are becoming claws. Everyone knows. Something is wrong and everyone knows. They avoid him even more now. When he enters the room everyone gets quieter and looks away. He doesn't understand.
It's not working! As he gets worse and worse everyone hates him more than they already did. His mood swings are getting more violent and he can see it happening but he can't make it stop. Why the fuck would he want it to stop? This is what he wanted it's not HIM it's THEM. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THEM. WHY WON'T THEY UNDERSTAND HE'S DOING ALL OF THIS FOR THEM WHY WON'T THEY LOOK AT HIM ANYMORE??? IT'S THEIR FUCKING FAULT HE'S LIKE THIS!!! HE NEVER WANTED TO HURT THEM THEY MADE HIM DO IT WHEN THEY WOULDN'T LOOK AT HIM WHEN THEY REFUSED TO EVEN SAY HELLO IT'S THEIR FAULT THAt Eden ends up in the hospital because she tried to ask him if he was ok and he attacked her.
It's taken to a vote and it is officially kicked out of the club. So it leaves. It doesn't know where to go, so it goes the only place it can think of. Right back to Vivian.
He explains thinking maybe she'd understand or help or just tell him what went wrong. But she's... different now. Instead of doting on him and telling him how wonderful she thinks he is, she seems bored. Unimpressed. Annoyed. Finally she cuts him off, asking him if he's really so useless now. Before he can even respond, she shoves one more potion down his throat, finishing the transformation he's been going through over all these weeks. She hadn't been helping him with his friendship problems at all. The potions had slowly been turning him into a demon, a mindless creature, a monster that's so much easier to control.
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(art/design by @hershelchocolateart)
She almost kills him afterwards too, she doesn't have much need for a demon she already has hoards of them, but her partner, Engel, decides he's much more fun this way and keeps him around as a pet <3 Their giant 6'3 demonic cat <3 They think he's so sweet and lovable like this <3 How ironic that the first time anyone ever thinks he's fun to be around is when he's not even himself anymore.
For a while that's all that really happens. Engel keeps it around cause it's so fluffy soft and cute and sometimes they let it go wander and it brings back corpses like a cat leaving a dead lizard as a gift for their owner except worse because those are human people. They think it's awesome of it <3
Vivian HATES not having a use for him tho she still thinks he's annoying as fuck so Engel agrees to let her try to "make him useful". She does what she does best: Sends him to go kill Viorel. But he's not even good at that. He gets into the manor where they're staying with Aiden and waits until they're all asleep and goes to kill them. But Amedeo is just a silly little creature now. He doesn't have a thought behind those heart shaped eyes. He hears a noise, and goes to follow it. It's Aiden, going to their room for the night.
Viorel wakes up to Aiden's screams, and gets to them too late. Amedeo is already tearing them apart.
Viorel, as a demon prince, has the interesting ability to force a demon to switch forms, and what better revenge for finding a demon killing your partner than to switch him back and force him to look at what he's done. And he's just killed one of his friends! Amedeo panics, saying he can fix this, please god just let him try to fix it, and pulls out one of Vivian's potions. Between Viorel being incredibly violent with him and his shaky hands, he can't even get the potion to Aiden before dropping it, shattering the glass and splashing it all over their corpse and their computer which had fallen next to them during the struggle. What a waste.
(Little does Amedeo know, he did save them, in some kind of way. It was enough. Aiden may not be alive but they're still living in their computer now thanks to this. But that's a different rant entirely)
Amedeo barely gets away from Viorel alive, but it's just out of the frying pan into the fire for him. Vivian finds him again, puts him back into demon form, and brings him back home <3 He'd had only a short amount of time to be a person again and he'd spent all of that time having a panic attack. 👍
Ok. Cool. So I've just explained Amedeo's main plot over 15 paragraphs. Do you understand how insane about him I am yet? There's more I'm not even done but I'm not gonna drag this out dramatically like I did for all that LAISDHASDLIU
Basically, Amedeo is eventually saved from Vivian and Engel by Vidette, Viorel's sister who can also force demons to switch forms, but she's not as good at it. Amedeo ends up in a state sort of in between human and demon.
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^ I might change some things about it, this is older art, but like. Like This
His legs fucked, his hand's weird, one of his eyes is shaped and the other isn't, he has so many problems now congratulations to this guy for becoming disabled. I'll give him a crutch to help with that leg at Some Point prommy <3
Vidette drops Amedeo off back at Aiden's manor (awkward as fuck) because she knows Viorel is there and thinks she can help him. She is so unaware of the horrors. Amedeo kind of just stays in the backyard unsure what to do for several days before Eden (who also lives there) finds him and invites him inside to actually eat food and take a nap. At this point Amedeo is so convinced he's unlovable, Vidette and Eden being nice to him kind of breaks his mind. In a good way. In a "ohhhh THIS is how friendship was supposed to work this entire god damn time" kind of way. He understands now. Eden lets him stay (much to Viorel and Aiden's disgust but whatever they can tolerate him) so he has a mostly safe place to work through his issues and figure out how the fuck to be a good person. Good for him good for him!
He gets a very funny arc where Viorel, Aiden, and Eden have to leave the manor so Amedeo has to stay and babysit the other demon and the 7 year old living in the house and it's just. Amedeo's no good awful terrible horrible no good very bad day. He is not a responsible adult. The 7 year old loves to bite and maim. And other demon in the house eats the drywall constantly. It's a disaster but the manor doesn't collapse so I'd call that a success.
Eventually Amedeo moves back in with Kazooie, who is the only person who has ever genuinely loved to be around him and has missed him So So Much, and they get to be besties again <3
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Vivian shows up again after her millionth plan to kill Viorel doesn't work and she decides to just do it herself, but Amedeo kills her instead. We love it when a gayboy gets to kill its abuser. Get fucked idiot.
That's pretty much it Amedeo gets to spend the rest of the story just chilling and people actually like hanging out with it now because it's learned how to not be annoying and mean and I love it so fucking much and I'm so proud of it. The end
If you have gotten this far somehow and you have questions about Amedeo and the story, please god do not send them to this blog this is supposed to be a lovecore competition blog please send them to my OC blog @oc-cinematic-universe IALSUDHASUILDh but don't feel obligated to ask at all, I'm adding this just in case. I'm trying so hard to keep this blog clean and organized I swear-
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aureuscanidae · 2 months
Note
Hello older brother who does tarot never had one so yo blog is really cool!
If you are readings are open, I want to ask for reading on my first relationship.
I am starting a new chapter where I finally feel I am ready to haveva relationship, I never had one before and I am also insecure why I never did, and having doubts if it means me not being attractive which if I am being honest I do not think so but no relationship makes me think of this
I am M, Virgo moon 🖤
omg no way i'm a virgo moon too!!! that's so cool!!!! and let me tell u smth, i'm actually an only child lmao 😭 i hope you enjoy your reading ★
(disclaimer: please only take these readings with a grain of salt and do not substitute it for professional help. energies constantly change and the future is not set in stone. whatever choice you make moving forward is completely up to you <3)
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when is this new relationship coming in?
your first relationship will come when you are truly feeling yourself and you're in touch with your own divine feminine energy. it'll come at a time when you're generally feeling good about yourself and about life. you might meet your person around springtime, whether the remaining months of this spring or a springtime somewhere in the future. i'm getting that you've done a lot of work to get to where you are emotionally right now, and now that you have, this person is now coming your way! just keep taking care of yourself and others, and the divine will do the rest.
who is this person you're going to be with?
this is someone new. you literally have no idea who this person is. i'm getting that they might be from a different place, maybe even a different country? there is travel involved, let me tell you that. i heard the song "come sail away" by styx, so they might be into classic rock? that or using the meaning of the song, they might have moved into your area for a job or for better opportunities. they're a real extroverted type, free-spirited and curious about the world and what it has to offer. there will be a lot of physical attraction between you both, you'll both find each other hot and there will be a lot of interest going forward from there. this person might be interested in travelling the world and learning about different people and things. they're super smart, well-educated and hardworking, however they might also struggle with overexertion and burnout. it's like they want to do everything at once, but they forget that they're human and have limits. they might be a sagittarius or have sagittarius energy in their chart.
what else do you have to do to be with this person?
remember that even without this person in your life, there are still a bunch of people out there who do love you, albeit not in the same way. you're already whole and lovable as you are, which is something your person and your guides really want me to tell you. healing is important in terms of the steps you have to take to connect with this person. other than that, i keep hearing "hang tight" because this person is coming in fast. keep hope in your heart that your person will come to you, because that's definitely happening at some point in the near future. this person might even come into your life when you least expect it!
how are the two of you like together?
i'm hearing that the two of you shine together as individuals, yet together you shine even brighter. the dynamic between you both is generally positive, you both amplify each other's strengths while balancing out each other's weaknesses. you're gonna celebrate wins with this person and comfort each other through losses. you're both honest with each other and what you want out of this connection, and you both are willing to hear each other out, which means there aren't that many conflicts. there are strong boundaries in place that really help the relationship to work. a challenge you both might face is some complications, since you did say that this is your first relationship, you might have some hesitations about some things, but the two of you work out any issues quite easily, communication is a big factor in your relationship, clearing up any misunderstandings and what not. that's so cool!
where will you find this person?
travel's a really big message in this one, so you might find this person while you're travelling or they're travelling. maybe while you're on vacation or something like that? or you might meet them somewhere you've never gone before, somewhere new and exciting and spontaneous. if you get the feeling of "hm, i wanna go to this place" all of a sudden, go! i'm hearing the song "clay pigeons" by michael cera, which i recommend you listen to because it's not only a cool song but really summarizes the energy of this reading right now. don't be afraid to change your environment and go somewhere new. i'm also hearing taylor swift's "fearless"? which is how this person might get you to feel once you meet them. they'll take you out of your own head and make you feel more alive than ever.
why this person?
this person is your reward, basically. for getting your confidence back and being self-assured. because of that, you will win this person over, so to speak. you're now finally ready to let someone into your life, and it's whoever the hell i was talking about earlier. just like you helped yourself, you'll be able to help them, and also help you in the process. i just got triple confirmation that this is sent by the universe as a prize for doing so well and working on whatever you needed to work on with yourself. all that is just left for you to do is put yourself out there and shine as brightly as you can for the world to see, because someone out there will notice your light.
astrological energies
the following signs may appear in either your chart or theirs: sagittarius, aquarius, capricorn, scorpio, leo, taurus, aries, pisces, cancer and libra
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©️ aureuscanidae. all rights reserved.
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elvisabutler · 2 years
Note
"kiss it, doll. kiss it like you kissed my gun last week." I AM WILDING OUT i think i speak for us all when i say we need the gun fic please
y'all are wild and i love it. this is why i have the best anons. i got those of you who love the priscilla actress universe stuff, i got the fluff, i have the elvis story anon and the 68 comeback discussion and then i got y'all with the gun and knife kink. i have the best anons. but yeah welcome to my attempt at gun kink. but also please pay attention to the trigger warnings.
tw: dubious consent, it's very tricky but to be on the safe side i'll include it, gun kink, fellatio involving a gun, unhealthy bdsm practices, the normal elvis is messed up warnings re: drugs and such. i think i implied the potential for murder? i this is worse than the knife kink, seriously. it's a lot and i need jesus.
austin!elvis, gun kink - russian roulette
the thing about elvis and it's the thing you learned quickest when he had jerry- or maybe it was joe, it had been long enough and there had been enough sleepless nights that you couldn't remember all that well who had done it- but when he had one of the mafia grab you from out of the crowd of one of his shows you learned that you had to go along with what elvis wanted. you could say no, but somehow you'd maybe always be saying yes, it was just easier. besides, most of his requests were- strange but they were tolerable.
you could handle those requests but sometimes elvis had those off the wall requests and they always seemed to happen after his shows when his adrenaline is through the roof and he's riding the high of hearing all those fans screaming for him. he's riding that high of having all those women force their way to the aisles and the front of the stage just for a taste of him. he thinks he's the goddamn king of the world- even if he hates the nickname the king and will until he dies- and that he can ask everyone to jump and the only question anyone would ask is "how high, ep?"
you like to pretend you're not in that company but you know all it takes is him looking at you in just the right way before you cave. it's a problem and you know he takes advantage of it every single time but- you can't stop it, you won't put a stop to it.
you think tonight be an okay night, elvis seems naturally tired and you think it'll be fine, maybe you'll have a glass of wine before bed, maybe he'll have to take a pain pill but you two will be able to sleep and maybe you can wake him up with your mouth around his cock and his hand in your hair. the moment elvis opens his mouth after his shower you know that dream has just slid down the drain.
"you trust me, darlin'?" he asks, his hand moving through your hair as you try to remove all the pins and everything required to keep it just how he likes it.
you hum, trying not to answer yes or no because you know your answer tends to edge toward maybe most days. you trust him until you don't. it's unhealthy and both you and your degree know this but- human brains are silly sometimes and make idiotic decisions. he hates it when you're noncommittal like this.
"darlin'," he starts, his hand tightening just a bit. "i asked a question, i know you have answer."
you finally pull the last pin out of your hair and motion for elvis to mess up your hair, shake it out so to speak while you focus on breathing and answering. "yes, sir, i trust you." the use of sir is purposeful and from the way elvis digs both of his hands in your hair and ruffles it just so you know it was the right call.
"you ever played with a gun before?" he murmurs into your hair, taking an inhale against it.
"no." you answer very simply. it's a no that serves the purpose of trying to tell him that no you haven't ever played with a gun and no you don't plan on changing that.
his hand moves to your chin and he grips it, forcing you to look up as you purse your lips. "i want to- there was a guy in the audience, he had a gun on his holster, it was goddamn gorgeous. asked him where he got it and we got to talkin' told me his wife and him play with them in bed."
there it was, the off the wall request that you don't want to agree to but you know you're going to within the next ten minutes. you inhale sharply at the idea and elvis takes that to mean you like the idea if the way his grip softens gives any indication. "i don't know if i feel- you shot at the tv once, elvis. remember that?"
he shakes his head. “i ain’t feeling like that tonight, doll. i wouldn’t shoot you. promise, mama." a pause. “just wanna see you gagging on my favorite thing other than you and my dick.”
the image isn't unwanted as it comes barreling to the forefront of your mind, swirling around and making you think of how you'd look for him on your knees, lips around the gun as he stroked himself. your body shivers as you look up at him praying your pupils don't give away how that image has turned you on.
“you want me to deep throat your pistol?” you ask shakily, thighs clenching together as you focus on your breathing and studying how he's reacting.
“mmhmm.” he hums. "wanna see you treat it like you treat my cock. cover it in so much of your spit that when i pull it away i see that little bit still hanging between your lips and it." he gets down on his knees, his hands on your thighs, pushing them apart to reach between them. his hand drifts up and finds your underwear slowly becoming soaked and he can't help but chuckle. "someone likes the idea."
"maybe." the word comes out in a huff, your body feeling more overheated the more he speaks and the more you feel him play with you over your underwear.
"little more than maybe, darlin'. pretty sure i can make you come without me even touching you if we do this." he challenges as he pulls away his hand.
your teeth immediately dig into your lower lip to prevent the keen you know it about to leave your lips before you glare at elvis. "get the gun, sir. the turquoise one."
he ties your hands behind your back before he does anything with the gun knowing if he doesn't you'll be touching yourself and "that defeats the goddamn purpose of coming without me touching you, darlin'.". you're aggravated about it but you try and not let it show on your face. elvis is on the bed now, sitting on the edge with you on your knees in front of him. your eyes are focused only on the gun as you watch him move it toward your skin. your body is on fire, at least you could swear you're on fire with how the metal feels when it touches you. it should be warm, it was in his hands but it was as if it had been dipped in an ice bath before he used it to touch you. the gasp sounds more like a groan and your body heats up even more from the embarrassment.
"darlin'." he whispers with a teasing edge. "haven't even gotten to a fun part and you're already like this. gonna make those noises around it too?" his hand moves to your mouth, his thumb forcing it open by pressing on your lower lip. "gonna take my gun like a good girl?"
you nod, not trusting your voice before realizing your mistake. "yes, sir."
his answering smirk is all the warning you get before he slowly moves the barrel of the gun into your mouth. your first instinct is to force it out but you focus on making sure your tongue doesn't try and force it out. instead you focus on letting it roll around the barrel as much as you can, acting as you do when you have elvis in your mouth. you allow yourself to moan, the coolness of the metal and the taste feeling different but not unwelcome. your had been closed but you open them just a little and look up to see elvis' hand slowly playing with his cock, not wrapped around it, not just yet. you frown around the gun at that.
"what's wrong, doll?" he asks moving the gun out just slightly before pushing it back in, trying to emulate the way he'd see his cock slip in and out between your lips. he follows where your lidded eyes are looking and he laughs. "oh. you want me to be- oh baby i'm saving this for you. wanna have you make a mess of yourself suckin' off my gun and then i can make a mess of that pretty goddamn face of yours with my cock. cover that face in my cum with my gun against you."
the image shouldn't send the jolt it does to your clit but you can't help the way you choke on the barrel of the gun as you groan, your hips trying grind against the air because you can't reach the carpet. you tear up and pat at elvis' leg three times, a sign that you need him to take the gun out before he shakes his head.
"you sure, darlin'?" he asks and all you do as an answer back is tap three more times. he purses his lips, clearly more than a little annoyed as he pulls the gun out slowly watching as there's a small trail of saliva between your lips and the gun barrel. "you've done better before with my cock. expected more from ya."
you look up at elvis and try and grind your hips again. "give me it back then." you're being mouthy and you know it's a dangerous game to play but you're wanting something wanting to feel friction that you can't get.
he moves the gun back to the front of your face without question. "no, i'm not sticking it back in your mouth, not tonight. but how but you give it a kiss. seen you give my spent cock those enough. wanna see my best girl's lips kissing this. kissing something i could fuckin' kill her with."
your eyes widen at that, genuinely scared for a moment before he shrugs. "i won't but you know i could." is his only response back to you before you exhale slowly and place your lips at first against the tip of the barrel before moving to place feather soft kisses down the rest of the gun until you reach his hand and the trigger. you're still wet and you know at this point you're pretty sure you've dripped onto the carpet before you let yourself kiss the trigger despite elvis' hand.
his answering groan is low and you hear the sound of his free hand wrapping around his cock. your eyes narrow as he pulls the gun away and uses it to trace a line down to your chest. he stands up, hand still pumping away. "think i should let you suck it still? think you fuckin deserve it after failing with the gun?"
"i do. i deserve it because you want to come on my face. i'll have it dripping from my lips, elvis." you answer, as you move again, trying to chase the feeling of the gun against your skin. "i look so pretty like that, remember?"
he growls a bit at that, knowing that yes, yes you do. he pauses, allowing himself a moment to not stroke his cock. he move to undo your restraints before he speaks, putting the gun in your hand. "show me what you can do with this while i've got those pretty lips on my cock. make yourself come before you make me come. you got that? or else we'll try this again tonight over and over until you get it right."
you almost argue with elvis that you think he doesn't have the stamina today to pull that off before you stop yourself. now was not the time or the place to be saying something that could get you in trouble. instead you nod, licking the entire gun before dragging in down your chest. "what are you waiting for? i might be able to make myself come twice before you."
if the way elvis shoves his cock down your throat after that is a little less than gentle, that's between him, you and god. and if when he does come you drag the gun through his come painting your face and your chest before cleaning it off with small kitten licks before deep throating the gun?
well that's just between you and elvis. god might want to stay out of that one.
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