#i am sad and it shows

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show??? #when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right????? #and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

[wifegideonnav]

lmao just saw someone say that they were 20 pages into gtn for the first time and felt a totally reasonable violent surge of envy. like imagine getting to read tlt for the first time again. hey ive got an idea why don’t we just kill the section of my brain that r

#ianthe got op before she could finish the post. SAD #oh well there’s other tlt bloggers #I did not sleep at ALL last night and I am feeling ✨great✨ thanks for asking #tlt #tlt memes #the locked tomb #htn spoilers #technically #let’s not show this one to the person who’s only 20 pages into gtn yk #op

[etherealjjong]

♾

Egotistic -MAMAMOO

Now I need to take care of myself / Because I won’t break down just cuz you’re not here / I wanna escape from your arms

Unsurprisingly, I am a very sad person

#asks #song.txt #a starry night #i am sad and it shows

[thekricks0krickass]

no because if I was Annabeth and had been made to think love was conditional and this guy who I started crushing on after he killed a monster when she offered to help him if he betrayed us and then kill another monster with the previous monster's head admitted that he thought we could never be friends but then tricked me into sacrificing himself and told me it wasn't weird that I hugged him after he came back alive and asked me to go watch a movie with him and then again proceeded to sacrifice his life for me, I would just simply pass away.

Like props to her, no wonder Percy called her the strongest demigod of their generation.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackson and the olympians #grover underwood #pjo tv show #they really ate and left no crumbs #like okay there are some changes I am kinda sad about but Percabeth is winning #percabeth #also the bromance between percy and grover chefs kiss i tell you #grovercy bromance

[occudo]

I never considered smokeyeyes before discovering your blog...now I can't stop considering it and how amazing it is

*slaps roof of the Gertude Agnes ship*: This bad boy fit so many dynamics inside! They are old ladies! Only one of them looks like one! They kiled multiple people Agnes called Gertrude her anchor!! Also, consider that Agnes knows Gertude way before she become what Shasa called a stone cold bitch- she was just a human

there is so much in this ship!!

#occudo's art #tma fanart #gertrude robinson #agnes montague #smokey eyes #gertrude is still around au #also their relationship changing through the years #Gertrude getting stronger and less human #Agnes getting more and more human #they were connected by fate?? come on #what's not to like? #forever sad they didn't get more to do in the show #or Agnes even getting a VA #but that's what the AUs are #am I right?

[mikimeiko]

The Fall of the House of Usher | Miniseries (2023), Mike Flanagan

#the fall of the house of usher #tfothou #tfothouedit #tw flashing #i am very sad and a little upset because #some mike flanagan shows have an atmosphere and a tone and a general vibe that i find very compelling #that makes for an intense and pleasurable viewing experience even when the story or the pacing are uneven #and ep2 felt so much like that and i was so in - but then it wasn't there anymore and i kept waiting for it to come back #the cast was great and the cinematography mostly on point but... overall very meh #tv shows i watched in 2023 #i made this #i just want a tag for the things i personally put out into the world

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

you’re watching the maury show on your computer when katsuki marches into your room without a word and flops down next to you on your bed.

“ hello to you, too.” you snort. his words are muffled by your sheets but you’re about 90% sure he told you to shut up, you ignore it.

he lays face down on your bed for a while not saying anything and you know he’s had a long day and wants to be close to you without actually talking. you don’t mind, you’ll give him his space until he reaches out himself.

and he does after a little bit, turning his head around to face you as he looks from you to your computer screen, eyes focusing on the woman screaming that the man she cheated on her husband with was 100% not the father of her baby, mixed with the cheers of the audience.

he looks at you and raises a brow “ what’s happenin ?”

“ lady cheated on her husband with his brother.” you respond.

“ his brother ?” he repeats. his eyebrows furrow and you know he’s hooked. if there’s one thing katsuki loves but will never admit he does, it’s trash tv.

you nod, grinning somewhat evilly “his brother. now they’re trying to find out which one’s the father.”

he hums, scooting himself closer to you so he can see the screen too. he flips himself around so his neck isn’t craned at that awkward angle anymore and settles himself down right next to you. hook, line and sinker.

he wraps his arm around your shoulder and shoves his head in your neck, breathing you in. you both don’t say anything. “do you want me to play it from the beginning for you ?” he shakes his head in your neck. you reach your hand up to scratch at his scalp and you smile when he sighs. he holds you a little tighter, pressing feather light kisses into your neck.

katsuki’s never been good at expressing himself with any other emotion that isn’t anger. it makes him feel stupid and weak and soft. he’s had a long fucking day and he doesn’t wanna talk about it, simply wanting to indulge in you but he can’t tell you that, can’t find the words to, so he tries to find other ways to tell you and he hopes you understand and you do.

katsuki’s thankful for you because sometimes he wants to talk, wants to open up about what’s bothering him but sometimes he doesn’t. he doesn’t and you don’t pry when you know he doesn’t and he’s so thankful for you. he presses kisses on your skin and soft bites at your flesh to convey just how thankful he is, how grateful he is for having you. he hopes every warm press of his lips against your skin can convey how much he loves you loving him. and it does, because you turn your head and kiss the side of his head so sweetly and he knows you’re it for him.

he’ll tell you all of this one day, he promises. he’ll tell you all the thoughts swimming around in his head one day, but he hopes this’ll do for now. and unknowingly to him, it absolutely does.

he pulls his head out of your neck and kisses you hard on the cheek one, two, three times and you giggle. you feel him smile into your cheek when he kisses you a fourth time.

“fuck’re they screamin’ about ?” he says and you turn to look back at the screen. the woman is yelling at her husband’s brother vehemently denying the possibility of him being her baby’s father. you feel a little bad for laughing. “ she says he’s not the dad” you answer.

he clicks his tongue “ why the fuck is she on the show then.” he says, turning his attention back to your computer but his grip on you stays secure. you press yourself a little closer to him.

you’re still smiling lightly when you look back at your screen, simply shrugging. “ she said something about her having more sex with her husband than with him.” you answer and he snorts.

“ ten bucks neither one of them’s the father.”

#based off me falling back into the maury rabbit hole LMFAOO #i lowkey love this dumbass show #not as much as a luv my boyfriend tho #have i told yall how much i love him btw did i forget to mention that orr #I kinda like this #lil blurb #wtf typa word even is blurb lmfao #I love fluff #sorry to all the sad bitches #but leave me alone w that lemme be happy #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #convinced katsuki goes like ‘ten bucks that___’ but then gets mad when you offer him money when hes right LMFAOOO #(am i projecting ? you’ll never know) #(yes i am)

[marinatedsaltea]

Happy Birthday Transformers Animated, truly one of the best shows I have ever watched

Thank you Derrick J Wyatt, Marty Isenberg and others for making our childhood brighter

Support this post here too https://www.instagram.com/p/C1U7vPhP_tA/?igsh=Yjg0OGRvdHh2MGZ0

#transformers #tf #tf art #transformers animated #tfa #transformers animated art #tfa art #tfa optimus prime #tfa ratchet #tfa prowl #tfa bumblebee #tfa bulkhead #tfa sari #hasbro #might drop this on instagram as well #16 years oh god… #I genuinely cannot express how grateful I am for this show. For this entire family. They helped me to get through a lot of sad stuff #And inspired me to finally be myself

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!

Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #wei wuxian #shen qingqiu #xie lian #better drawn mdzs #(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery) #Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done! #Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there. #The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS! #*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises. #What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible! #Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic. #Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad. #Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up! #Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*) #I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.

[marypsue]

There’ve been a few responses to/reblogs with tags on my post about DIY clothing embellishments that basically boil down to ‘I’d love to do this but I’m scared it’ll turn out bad/I’m not a good enough artist’. And I get it, I really do! I also want my art things to turn out nicely. But also...making it badly is sort of the point of punk DIY. 

Listen. We live in a world that would dearly love to charge you a subscription fee for breathing. The bastards are doing everything they possibly can to figure out how to turn art - stories, visual art, music, textile/fibre art, sculpture, crafts and creations of every kind - into a neat, discrete, packageable commodity, a product they can chop up into little pieces and stick behind a paywall so they can charge you for every drop of it you want to have in your life. 

The whole sneering idea that ‘everybody wants to be some kind of creator now’ and anything less than absolute mastery right out the gate is somehow shameful and embarrassing is a tool those bastards are using. It’s a way to reinforce the idea that only a set group of people can create and control art, and everybody else has to buy it. 

But art isn’t a product. Art is a fundamental human impulse. Nobody is entitled to a specific piece of art (which is where this message gets skewed into pitting people who love art against the artists who make it, while the bastards screw us all and run away with the money). But making art belongs to everybody. We make up songs and dances and stories, and paint things, and make clothes, and embellish them, and carve flowers into our furniture and our lintels and our doorframes, and make windows out of tiny pieces of coloured glass, and decorate our homes and our bodies and our lives with things we make and make up, simply for the love of beauty and of the act of creation. Grave goods from tens of thousands of years ago show that ancient hominids gave their dead wreaths of ceramic flowers, tattooed their bodies, beaded their shoes. Making things for the sake of beauty and enjoyment is one of the most ancient and human things we can do. 

The idea that we can’t, that we have to buy shit instead, because art is a product and you have to have the bestest prettiest most perfect product, is the enemy of joy. It’s the death of culture. And it means that, instead of whatever it is that you cherish and enjoy and value, you get whatever inoffensive (and to whom is it inoffensive?) bland meaningless samey-samey crap that the bastards want you to be allowed to have. What are you missing and what are you missing out on, if you don’t make or modify or decorate anything for yourself, if you don’t think you can because the product at the end won’t be polished or perfect or marketable enough? What do you lose? What do we lose? 

It is a desperately vital and necessary thing for you to make shit. For you to know that you can make shit, that you don’t have to just lie back and take whatever pablum the bastards want to force-feed you (and charge you through the nose for). That the bastards need you more than you need them. 

Become ungovernable. Be your own weirdly-endearing punk little freak. Paint on a t-shirt. Sing off-key in the shower or at karaoke night or at open mic night. Make up a story where you get to meet your favourite fictional character and you guys hug or fuck or punch each other in the face. Make art. Do it badly. Do it frequently. Do it enthusiastically. Do it for love and joy and creativity and fun and the spiteful joy of thumbing your nose at some smug motherfucker with a Swiss bank account who wants to track your heartbeat and location for the rest of your life in order to automatically pump AI-generated beats matched to your mood into your earbuds for a small monthly subscription fee of $24.99/month. It is literally the only way we are ever going to have even a chance to save art and our own lives from the bastards. 

So. Paint that t-shirt. 

(Also support artists where you can, and buy your music from Bandcamp.)

#this post brought to you by: me being so so sad about zoomers having crafts and Making Thing With Your Hands Badly stolen from them #also by me listening to a radio show on How The Sony Walkman Changed Music And Where It's Going Next #ready for the san andreas fault to open up and swallow silicon valley whole forever folks #anyway. followers i am getting down off the cafeteria table now.

[knife-filled-plushies]

i love these two so i decided to doodle them hsjfhskfj

tiny bit of style experimentation

#pastel doodles! #sun and moon show #tsams #the sun and moon show #tsams forkface #forkface #ruin monty #tsams ruin monty #forkface x ruin monty #as an added note i'd like to think their relationship is relatively simple #they just like each other-like being with each other-enjoying one another's company #ruin monty talks and forky listens #it was basically a 'i like you' 'so we dating now?' 'cool' #they love each other on a very simple and sweet level #am i talking about a relationship that has never fully been onscreen? yes and im not ashamed of it #i love them hjfhsf #still sad that ruin monty died before we could see them together :(

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

This entire scene emotionally destroyed me but there's one part in particular that was like taking a knife to an already open wound.

So, Gon shuts down after the reveal that Kite was dead all along and his stunned and racing mind is disjointed and contradictory. Most of his statements fit into roughly three categories of desperate thoughts:

Vehement inability to process that Kite is dead. From the statement being repeated multiple times to the amount of "no"s everywhere on these pages.

Taking the blame for Kite's death, in a frankly horrifying show of self-hatred (especially given the context of what comes next).

Blaming Pitou and proclaiming that he "didn't do it" in an attempt to absolve the weight of his guilt.

Heartbreaking. But there's one thought here that's a bit different.

Throughout all of this, Gon has been adamant that Kite, and by extension the situation, can be "fixed" - after all, most every issue that's come up before on his adventures could be resolved nicely. But now, suddenly, it can't. Gon can't stand feeling powerless or helpless, and now he finds himself more helpless than he's ever been. And we get this.

"Somebody help me."

Gon is independent. Gon has a burning need to prove his worth through his own strength. Gon has a bad habit of equating "taking responsibility" with fixing things all by himself and rejecting help from others.

Gon has never pleaded for someone to save him before.

And it's just. Holy shit. Holy shit - he's a kid. He's just a kid. And in just a few pages, he's going to make a despair-fueled decision to throw away his life just to regain any semblance of power over a situation that was doomed to be unfixable from the start. He says, "Let it end. I don't care what happens to me now.", because this is the only way he can think of to make his pain and his guilt and Pitou all just stop, by losing himself to all of his power instead of his grief.

#hi. i'm sad and i decided to make it everyone else's problem. #i know i'm stating the obvious here but. ah well. i did say i was here to share the sadness #storyrambles #hxh #hunter x hunter #gon freecss #thank goodness a certain best friend of his actually did show up to help him huh...? #killua as always snapping him out of his own darkness... #hxh meta #<- does it count #omg should i use my analysis tag? i'm gonna. #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective #hxh spoilers

[xoxoemynn]

Hello OFMD crew! I love you and I'm happy you're here. 💕

#ofmd #our flag means death #I know it's been a rough few months with a lot of ups and downs #and just perusing the timelines I'm seeing a lot of people really feeling the Big Sads again #which is so so valid and I think everyone should really feel whatever they need to feel right now #but also know fandom isn't going anywhere #the show may be taking a breather but our heart is still beating strong 💗 #sending so much love and hugs #I am grateful to all of you and my inbox/DMs are always open if you need someone to talk to

[deadpoets]

HOUSE M.D. 05.23 | Under My Skin

#houseedit #housemdedit #house md #gregory house #james wilson #amber volakis #mialook #tuserkaren #*mine #*mygifs #i am still on this house episode and it has been months #i keep restarting and then pausing and then i'll go watch other shows and the cycle continues (this has happened twice so far) #so feel free to yell at me in the tags to start watching house again ! #anyways i've been wanting to gif this scene because wilson's sad expression after house says kutner truly gets to me #rsl truly knows how to act with his face y'know what i mean

[fangirlyness]

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat - Episode 30/30

#Tsukutabe #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #She loves to cook and she loves to eat #Japanese GL #I thought I would be screeching from the romance (!!!) #Instead I'd held my breath and also cried #And I am so happy to have known this show #And so sad to say goodbye to our friends #They have brought me so much joy and heart #Mine #Tsukutabe episodes

[saragrosie]

U know, I went to get my blood drawn today and the doctor had a Kirk/Spock article open on his monitor, so in light of that I've decided cringe is dead. Enjoy the fruits of this revelation.

#I do not hava good editing software this was made on my phone #and I am not ashamed to say it took over 6 hours to make because I kept getting distracted just watching Q clips #qcard #q star trek #this same thing usually happens whenever I try to draw anything star trek related #star trek: the next generation #star trek the next generation #star trek picard #that's a show name now incredible #i will not be watching it because q is sad in it and that's not allowed same reason i refuse to watch voyager #tng #star trek tng #star trek q #jean luc picard