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yumdimsums · 9 months

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Let’s talk about KAZUI‼️‼️‼️

CW: S//cide

Yes something that’s NOT Adachi

Recently, his new trial video came out, called “Cat” and it’s honestly such a banger. Here is the link to the video, highly recommend to watch first before reading!

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This is my theory and brain dump at 1 AM and my first ever big theory! There will most likely be disjointed and have grammar mistakes, but I hope it makes sense. If there are detrimental mistakes, please lmk, i want to make sure it’s not full of crap‼️

NOTES: I am not going to provide “Guilty or not guilty” here, you do you, I’m not interested in swaying opinions.

I will be fully assuming that the “Kazui is gay” theory to be true. I am not going to explain it myself because many people have already done that. Obviously, gay Kazui is not the only true, gospel answer to his character, there are multiple different interpretations that are all valid and I would be very interested in hearing different theories as well🤝.

I will also be using the tumblr post below for Voice Drama TL, thank you so much for the translation🙏

Outline

Ordered from “Yeah I have some good ideas” to “I’m not sure”

1. Background/Setting

2. Marriage, Cats, and Doves

3. Magic, Masquerade, & Drinking

4. The Bartender

5. Apples

6. Extra Details

(Crazy/Stretch theories will be in Italics)

Background/Setting

To understand Kazui’s story a little better, I would like to quickly go over when this is taking place.

Here we see the wife with a flip phone. This means that Kazui’s marriage was most likely around the late 90’s to early 2000’s. During that time, I believe that LGTBQ+ people were not as widely accepted and that there were still toxic gender stereotypes and expectations (I’m not 100% though hmu if I’m wrong 🙏). Kazui also stated that his parents find him embarrassing. It could be that they blame him for the wife’s death, but also because he is gay. If his parents come from an older generation, it’s no wonder that they find him embarrassing because they’re ignorant and terrible.

Marriage, Cats, and Doves

As everyone has discussed when this first came out, “Cat” shows a lot of different themes through cats, doves, magic, marriage, and apples. This section will go over the first three aspects.

Many have stated before that the dove represent his ring as, at the start, he turns his ring into the dove. Obviously, doves are well known for their symbolism of love, hope, and peace. While the dove is supposed to represent their marriage, I also think it ties with his wife, seeing how she seems to hope that their love will bring them happiness. Adding onto this, it also explains why he watched and invited the dove to fly onto his arm. He was “playing” or leading the dove to him. Then it cuts to his eye, blankly staring at the pristine white of the bird. Note that this eye is the same as the one at the end of the MV. It can be assumed that it represents how, at the beginning, he could suppress his true emotions and playing along, but at the end, he becomes feral and mutilates the bird. (Image below shows how different they take the marriage, he’s uncomfortable while she’s beaming with joy).

On the other hand, cats symbolize independence, intelligence, and cunning, something that Kazui shows throughout the MV through his intricate lies. I think he also has the “mannerisms” of a cat.

Here he says he “wanted to be touched”, showing his yearning to be in a comfortable, safe relationship with a man. However, due to gay relationships not being accepted back then, he is unable to experience this and becomes increasingly lonely. It’s similar to how cats are reclusive and tend to stay away until someone or something has something that interests them. (I’m not a cat expert so I might be wrong). While the previous lyrics do say “I just wanted to touch, to caress”, implying he wanted his wife, I think this is the wife’s thoughts who wanted to “caress” and “touch” aka get closer to Kazui. When the lyrics play, it pans over to her with the circles in the background pulsing quickly, referring to her quick heartbeat when she looks at him and how she desires to be with him.

Another theory as to what’s happening in that moment is that she’s assuming what he’s thinking. Kazui: “I just wanted…” Wife: “to touch, to caress” Kazui: “to be touched”. I also find it interesting that the circle from 0:27 shatters at 0:30.

The next lyric “So it’s wrong? Shove that!” Could be him wondering if wanting to be touched was wrong and “unmanly” of him. But, deep inside, he wants to scream out and say that he yearns for that feeling, that he wants to be loved, even if it didn’t fit the norm of “what a man should be”.

On to their really terrible marriage. There were lots of societal pressures to be married back in the day, so Kazui suddenly marrying a woman he didn’t even like was due to others expectations of him. Plus, Kazui wanted to be loved and he was feeling the consequences of loneliness, and this love she had felt for him seemed like an opportunity to somehow get what he wanted. A desperate attempt to receive love in a marriage he was fully disinterested in. 0:46 to 0:48 show this as he suddenly went from giving her flowers to wanting to marry her. It implies that he wanted this to go as fast as it could so he wouldn’t disappoint his family or be judged for being unmarried and gay, even if it costed his mental health and forced him to lie, which steadily declines throughout the MV until he finally cracks (further explained in 3).

The way he calls her his “victim” really says how he just used her to satisfy his own needs and also his extreme guilt for her death. This also foreshadows the coming violence as the perpetrator (cat) kills the victim (dove).

Lastly, him wanting to “keep it simple” is him hoping that she isn’t going to take their relationship super far. He wants to stay away from the more intimate part of the relationship, but it’s difficult since he just continues to lie and doesn’t talk about himself at all.

(I will be skipping ahead to the end as I want to save the rest of the details for later) Now we’re at the most famous part of the MV, him smoking and then absolutely devouring and mauling a dove. He most likely did all of this in a drunken state. 1) There’s a glass at 1:49 that slowly drops to the ground, possibly him losing his grip on reality or his literal grip on the glass thanks to drinking way too much. 2) From 2:13 to 2:19, he struggles to get up and holds his head, he even takes off his ring IN FRONT of her, something he’d never do if he was thinking straight because it would break his lies. (I’ll explain the drinking later on).

Finally, the violent part. We have no idea if the symbolism in this is exaggerated or if it’s 100% accurate, but judging from how much he hates himself, it’s probably over blown to an extent. So what does it mean? Well it definitely is supposed to show how he interpreted his outburst before his wife’s suicide. Him transitioning from perfectly calm (before smoke) to becoming this “evil” person (after smoke) is him showing that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness for what he’s done. Then, him killing the dove represents how he thought he said nasty or distasteful things. On top of that, it also represents how he believes he killed his wife by angerly venting his feelings out so much that pushed her over the edge, in other words, taking “chewing someone out” on a violent level. This is his interpretation of what happened though and I don’t think he exploded. Instead, I think he just made poor word choices. The two of them, or at least Kazui, lacked communication and due to his drunken state, he just blurted out what he was feeling. I don’t have any substantial evidence to back this up though, so take this last one with a grain of salt.

3. Magic, Masquerade, & Drinking

I LOVE the magic and masquerade symbolism in particular as it is pretty much how he views the whole relationship. He interprets his lies as these magic tricks that fools people on the outside into believing that yes he truly does love this woman. It’s also why he turned the ring into a dove in the first place, he just sees the marriage as a big magic show that he has to put on for as long as he can.

“Lie until it gets better, follow the king of masquerade.”

I really love this line because he refers to himself as the “king of masquerade”. He calls himself this because all his life, he’s been putting up these different personas and characteristics that aren’t him. It’s literally seen in “half” as he wear different clothing and keeps a mask on the entire time. He knows that if he were to drop this act, no one would truly accept him. He would be cast out and never have the opportunity to be loved again. So living a life of lies seemed to be the most viable option to him, but he also resents himself for it. He admits that he can’t live unless he lies, it truly is his only life line and a life line others rely on too (aka his wife).

“So l've tried to change! I've tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others! I've confided in others. I've tried to be myself! I've tried to just be the way I was born! It's not my lies that killed her. She's dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn't have died..! I can't live unless I lie. That's how I was born... I'm pathetic, aren't I?”

As is the magician’s code, he can’t reveal the secret to his “magic”.

However, all this lying obviously takes a toll on him as in the latter half of the MV, he starts drinking and smoking more. In each shot from 1:12 to 1:46 he is always seen indulging in his addictions. It’s his way to escape from reality and forget about his current relationship. What I find most interesting though is the meal he has with his wife. It seems they are celebrating something as the Ace of Spades (which hovers in between the two as they speak) symbolize good luck, hope, and change. They’re even drinking champagne and having a nice meal. What they could be celebrating though is beyond me, they’re probably on their first or third anniversary considering they look older? Besides that, there’s also the most interesting clip of a man when he holds up his champagne glass. I think that this is supposed to show that he uses drinking for more than just forgetting about his current situation, he also wants to dream about a life he couldn’t have. A life with someone he loves. He probably tries to replace his wife in his head with another man by drinking, trying to make the “magic show” more tolerable. The man could also be his guilt starting to rise and bubble up like the carbonation in the champagne, sitting in front of him and judging him, telling him “Are you really going to keep lying to her after all this time?”.

Finally, at the end of the MV, he is unable to keep up his magic show anymore due to drinking way too much. All his “tricks” fall to the ground, another way of showing his masquerade mask has finally fallen. He then ends his first act at the start of the MV (aka his marriage) by tearing it apart.

4. The Bartender

Now THIS is an interesting thing people have pointed out. The bartender from the previous MV comes back for a cameo in the newest one. But it’s not just a small, little nod, no he’s full front and center in the frame.

Even more interesting is that he’s the only one with a wedding ring in the shot. I was really thinking that maybe everyone would have one as a way to show societal pressures, but this also works too.

This is the third time the man has shown up in Kazui’s MV’s. Though he might not have a face, it’s clear that he is of some sort of importance in Kazui’s life to show up so much, especially if he appears so clearly in “Cat”. Maybe Kazui wants to keep his identity a secret so he wouldn’t have to open up old wounds. With this information, we can assume he’s talking to the bartender from 1:13 to 1:24 as the table & drink is just like the one in “half”. There’s also the sound of a drink being prepared/served at 1:10. So he could very well be Kazui’s love interest as he carefully confesses to him. However, they’re both married, something that Kazui clearly remembers as he only sees his ring in the shot with all the guests. Though I think that, from this scene, he wished that they were the ones being married because he’s the only one with a ring, that is also similar to Kazui’s, on. That’s why he asked what he’d do if he said that he “liked-liked” him, would the bartender accept him or reject him? Although, I don’t actually think he’s drunk when he asks. Maybe he’s had a few drinks, but his speech is way too clear. Remember he’s also the “king of lies” so no one can really be sure of his true nature. His likely reasons about lying about being drunk is because 1) there are possibly people around and 2) he’d rather not embarrass himself if the bartender didn’t respond at all.

Now comes the tricky part, who is the bartender? The most common answer would be his be his childhood friend, and I’d have to agree. There really is no other person to identify him as and it would make the most sense as to why he appears so much. In “Interrogation Question 8”, he mentions that he “looks up to [his childhood friend]” implying that he could be older. If we’re willing to stretch this and say that age is shown through facial hair and the fact that the bartender possibly owns the establishment (Kazui mentioned his friend owned a boat, what kind is not mentioned, but it does say something about the man’s wealth), then he could very well be the childhood friend. At some point though, he seemed to stop going to the bar. Most likely because his friend responded badly to his “confession” or that they already knew it wasn’t possible and Kazui didn’t want to see his face anymore since he’d only feel even more lonely than he already was, thinking that what he had said ruined their friendship forever. It then cuts to him sitting alone drinking whiskey, something he always buys at the bar. He states that he “wanted to ask so it’s out in the open. I just got a little greedy.” This implies that he wanted to “let it slip” in his “drunk” state. However, it didn’t go very smoothly and his greed only brought him more pain.

There’s also a thing with whiskey in that whenever he has it he seems to be allow his masquerade mask to fall. It’s probably because it reminds him of his childhood friend who he loves as he always buys the same drink from his bar. The scenes where whiskey appears is the previously mentioned confession scene followed by him sitting alone. It also appears when he becomes feral as it is the beverage he drops at 1:50.

5. Apples

This one has been discussed the most and I honestly don’t have anything new to bring to the table with it. But I’ll just add it in here

First let’s start off with the symbolism of the red apple, which is pretty easy to pin point. In the MV, It’s only used in the middle after he pulls the cloth off of the wedding couple (aka Kazui and his wife) and at the end when the wife dies. There are an abundance of the red apples at the wedding, representing how much love she has for Kazui. Then, when she dies, it’s squashed, and it’s supposed to show her impact onto the ground and their love being ended right there.

The green apple is slightly harder to figure out. It seems to represent how Kazui feels about the relationship and how he only likes her platonically. The green apple appears in the abundance of red apples, underneath Kazui during the dinner, and, most importantly, as a man. The first two can be easily interpreted as him trying to keep his platonic feelings a secret. He even literally tried to keep it under the table to hide it from her. Then, there’s the apple-man(?). The first meaning of this is how he, again, sees the wife as only a friend. However, there’s also another meaning. The drawing takes great amounts of inspiration from the painting The Son of Man, by René Magritte, which makes sense given the similarities the MV and the meaning behind the painting. Magritte said,

“…You have the apparent face, the apple, hiding the visible but hidden… face of the person. It's something that happens constantly. Everything we see hides another thing, we always want to see what is hidden by what we see. There is an interest in that which is hidden and which the visible does not show us. This interest can take the form of a quite intense feeling, a sort of conflict, one might say, between the visible that is hidden and the visible that is present."

This painting’s meaning has so many parallels with Kazui’s character, almost as if the writers wanted us to realize it since the introduction of the green apple in “half”. The biggest difference between the two is that Kazui does not reveal his eyes. He keeps who he really is behind the apple, keeping who he is a secret and preventing any sort of “intense feeling” of wanting to get to know the true him. He doesn’t want any conflict to arise and fears the consequences of coming out.

6. Extra Details

I Wonder why at the start, he kind of just stares at the screen like he’s judging/hoping that Es will make the right decision. It’s also reminiscent of how he stared at Es in his 2nd Voice Drama. Very strange but I like it

I love it when there’s similar scenes fr fr

Another thing id like to bring up rq is Kant. Es brought him up in Kazui’s 2nd voice drama since he had “killed” someone due to his lies. Es directly quotes him, “That would be Kant…A philosopher who stated that lying is inherently a sin, no matter the circumstances…Apparently, even if your friend is being chased by a murderer and the murderer asks you about their whereabouts, you shouldn't lie, according to Kant.” Kant’s reasoning for selling out your friend to a murderer is that if you were to lie about where they were and by chance the murderer found them, it’d be your fault. However, if you did sell them out and they died, it wouldn’t be your fault, your friend should’ve just avoided the psycho! This is what Kant believed and, personally, it makes no sense, especially if we’re considering a human life that’s on the line. Brushing over that though, the connection Es essentially tries to make is that Kazui’s lies are his greatest sin and that he should’ve told the truth from the start. While yes, most things would’ve been prevented if he had tried to be more true to others, there are also standards to consider as well. If Kazui had come out, then he’d be shunned, if he refused to marry, he’d be shunned, etc. so there wasn’t an easy way out for him. Kant’s philosophy fails to consider any other situation or being truthful to one self. His murderer example is way too extreme and it doesn’t hone in on the finer details. Which is why I don’t think Es really knew wtf they were talking about and I honestly find the Kant thing kind of dumb💀

The comments in this video explain how dumb Kant is way better than I can vv

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Constructive Criticism, Thoughts, and Additional Help is Appreciated, Thank You!

#kazui milgram #kazui mukuhara #007 #es milgram #Milgram #theory #I Hope this isn’t too stupid dumb dumb #text post #symbolism #Youtube

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kolbisneat · 10 months

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MONTHLY MEDIA: June 2023

Summer months here we go! Just wrapped up my time with Zelda so I foresee more reading and tv in my future again. In the meantime, here’s how I spent June!

……….FILM……….

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) Saw it twice and the first time was very nearly too much to take in. The second viewing was far less overwhelming and still a joy. While it didn’t feel like a complete story following Miles, at least there’s some satisfying conclusion with Gwen. I’m glad part 2 comes out in less than a year.

Ali Wong: Baby Cobra (2016) Maybe I wasn’t in the right mood or maybe going with one of her older specials wasn’t the right call but I wasn’t really feeling it. I can see hints of overlapping themes that pop up in BEEF (which I loved and why I wanted to watch one of her specials) but that was more interesting than it was funny. Still gonna check out her other specials.

Goldeneye (1995) I have more memories playing the game than watching the movie but still a big fan of this flick. Really great characters and locales and I forgot just how comedic it is. So many one-liners! Always feels a little long at the end but worth it to see Boris’ death scene.

Encanto (2021) Late to seeing this and really great! Beautiful and personal and peak musical songs where characters basically ONLY share their personality through song.

……….TELEVISION……….

Ted Lasso (Episode 3.11 to 3.12) I was really dragging my feet about finishing the series as I found season 3 wasn’t as consistently enjoyable to watch. But those last two eps really stuck the landing. Some beats were expected, some were welcome surprises, and there were so many callbacks that were naturally woven in that I was really impressed. Some of the best from the season (and on par with the rest of the series) and I’m really glad I finished it.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Do "gun buybacks" work? by Vox A really succinct breakdown of how the US can do better, and an honest look at why this needs to be a part of a more complex plan. VIDEO

Agnostic TTRPG Prep Method by Map Crow Really fun way to use all the books that you’re not currently using! Watch the vid and then if you like the process you can pick up the bundle HERE (not affiliated, just a fan). VIDEO

The Station Toronto Needs by RMTransit Hey I’m a big fan of trains and I just found this channel. This was my first introduction to them but I’m keen to watch more. More trains! VIDEO

How Editing Creates Comedies That Make You Cry... by The Editing Podcast Another channel I recently came across and I’m keen to watch more. I know very little about editing but am keen to learn more. VIDEO

……….READING……….

Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber (Page 7 of 285) Clearly I’ve only just started this (thanks to me dragging my feet on The Righteous Mind) but really excited to dig deeper. The prologue is the original essay that inspired the book and that alone already has so much in it! A really great primer and I wasn’t expecting it to lay a lot of the blame at capitalism’s feet so I think it’s gonna be a great read.

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt (Complete) The first time I read this (at a time when the COVID-19 vaccine was just coming out and folks were choosing not to get it) the book really helped me understand the reasoning behind other people’s choices. For that it was really helpful. This time around, with more time and more political moves behind us, I find it glaringly obvious just how out of touch (or conservative-leaning) this book is. There’s a whole section about how the free market and capitalism is good for healthcare. Wild stuff. If you want more in-depth reviews explaining why this didn’t sit right with me this time around, I found Storygraph had a lot of great write-ups (also Storygraph is great if you want an alternative to the amazon-owned Goodreads).

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 12 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) Listen I sing this series’ praises every time I read a volume and this is no different. Somehow the story, setting, and characters grow while still remaining connected to the main theme of “what if we ate the monsters we fought in an RPG?” It’s truly top-tier and I can’t stress enough that if you like charming, funny, expertly-illustrated comics, you should try out this series.

The Fade Out by Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips, and Elizabeth Dismang (Complete) Really fun read. Old Hollywood murder mystery with a lot of really nuanced characters. The resolution felt a little abrupt and unsatisfying, but without giving anything away I think it was appropriate. I’m also not sure if it was a stylistic choice but all of the women have different shadows than the men. It feels like they’re living in two different worlds but maybe that’s intentional? Still really great.

……….AUDIO……….

PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and the Beginning of Merciless Damnation by King Gizzard (2023) Loved King Giz’s first foray into metal and this continues that trend. I may not love everything that they do, but I love that they do everything that they do.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Tuesday Crew is currently up against a young dragon (Dragonette) plaguing a mine (recap HERE) while the Mof1 Crew is divided across Munchkin District and each dealing with their own small crisis. They say never split the party but I think the trouble gets way more interesting when you do.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Nintendo) Finally moving on from this after countless hours spent in this world and it’s all bittersweet. Loved the familiar stuff, loved the new stuff, and loved the overall arc of the game. Hopefully the next game in the series goes back to something smaller and focused.

And that’s it. See you in July!

#Monthly Media #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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felis-artis · 13 hours

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Official Arc 1 Playlist

It will be full of The Mechanisms, I know that for sure. Try to decontextualize those songs if you know the stories. They are silly cats now.

I will put every song below. I will use links on Youtube (to have access to archived videos, not on Spotify) but if you want to port any of this into a music-playing site or app, be my guest. I'll add it to the post if you do!

Version: 1.0 Last Update: April 28th, 2024

1 -> Stranger (The Mechanisms)

Oh, my love, what madness can this be (Why did you come here?) In your place a monster I do see (I warned you not to look) You don't understand I had to keep my nature secret This was never planned You were never meant to know

This song is so Crowtongue and Wildfire to me. Minus the "love" portion. I might actually animate a portion of this song to them, if I had the time or money to spare.

2 -> Nothing Critical (Cloudeater)

Oh my we forgot to smile Guns are drawn, now my lawn's a wreck I know, someone had to go If not him it'd be me instead

Crowtongue and Wildfire. Enough said.

3 -> Willard! (Will Wood)

Never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted Just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect Until frustration makes me wish my teeth were sharp as yours Chew through their garage doors They'll call me crazy but their words all seem made up to me Maybe they just need more friendship like yours

Its not a playlist of mine without a good song from In Case I Die. It's too good an album. Anyways, this is so Cloudnose that it hurts. I love his character.

4 -> Alarm Call (The Correspondents)

Where have you gone? I am calling on you Your alarm call's on and I'm coming to your rescue I know exactly what to do I make the call and sit by you Check your heartbeat against mine But there's no trace of it this time

Goldenflower and Wildfire. I love them so much. A good mother-son relationship, layered with a million feelings and filtered through such a simplistic lens, it breaks. I would animate this, but I don't have any time.

5 -> Fading Kitten Syndrome (Roar)

Carry me in your teeth with tender jaws of sympathy (Arrow deep inside the meat Impossible for us to reach)

Wildfire's kits. When your father is a symbol for the start of the end, its hard to detach yourself from that symbolism.

6 -> Reduced to Guts (Vivivivivi)

This song reeks of Timberstrike. I can't explain it, it just is. Every breath he breathes is filled with lies at the end, and he hates himself for it. He loves it though, he's practically intoxicated by its power.

7 -> He'll Use ... Show / Dr. Sunshine is Dead (Will Wood)

Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see? I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between

This specific recording has the exact vibes I need for Sagewhisker, the Seer for Arc 1. She doesn't have a big appearance, but she has a large enough one that it matters. Also, Mario Conte is THE drummer of all time.

8 -> SCAPEG(8)AT (Ghost and Pals)

Now do you hate me? Are you afraid of mе? Are you able to feel culpability? Come forth and kill me Bow down and worship me Take your time, all we have is eternity Now with a new start Broken and torn apart Nothing in me resembles a human heart My name is unknown Something I've never told On my own, I declare "I don't wanna go home"

Crowstar and Timberstar. Their dynamic is important to me in a way that most people's cars are important to them. I love their dynamic, hate their ideology, and adore how they grow as characters. Beating them with hammers.

More to be added at a later date!

#FA: Arc 1 #FA: Playlists #warrior cats rewrite #warrior cats

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anxietysslave · 4 months

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Ranting; A bittersweet goodbye

So starting this off, I think I'm going to start a ranting side of Tumbler as well as the stories. Sometimes sharing thoughts and feelings out into the open can help others, or can help me because people might be able to explain or just conversation. So here's one thought that's been in my head. I think the hardest thing for me to accept is death itself. Or even goodbyes. How do you say goodbye? How do you let those memories go? Recently, a YouTuber I grew up with known as Game Theory retired. Like everyone else, he’s not safe from the decay of time. Or wanting things to go back to how they were. He wanted to settle down and live with his family in the present, rather than through a camera. Which I understand completely. But at the same time… It hurts. I grew up with him. He was someone I looked up to for a long time, along with other YouTubers. And now… He’s going to be just a memory. It’s a bittersweet feeling, isn’t it? It makes me happy seeing them live their lives, but also sad because it means any memories I had are over now. A good start with a bitter-sweet ending. Some say one door closes, and another opens. But where do those doors lead to? It’s not going to be the first childhood idol I’m going to have to say goodbye to. Soon it’ll be the ones I’ve known even longer since I was 5 or 6. The feeling of getting home from school, putting YouTube on, and watching them play old crappy games of the 2000s was such a nice feeling. It brought comfort, joy, and so much more. I still get that, although it does not feel as cloudly, or hazy as it used to. And now, as the days go by, I get older. And they get way older. Someday instead of mourning their channel loss, it’ll be their death. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. These people have never met me, and never will probably. But they’ve all been such a big inspiration to me. They’ve molded who I am today and changed me for the better. At least I hope so.

When school gets tough, or when I’m struggling, their videos help me calm down. Their videos still bring me a sense of peace, even though it may not be as strong as when I was a kid. And I believe a lot of people feel that way. These days are scary, colder, and just so much more different than what anyone is used too. So of course, just like everything around us and ourselves, they change with time. People like to think it’s them that caused it, but it never was. We grew up, our eyes forcibly opened by many factors. And even those who haven’t, they’ve changed a lot since they were a kid. A lot of people say they never do, but all it takes is a look at a picture. Anytime I see photos of me when I was younger, I see a few similar things. But that’s it. My eyes look different, my smile, my hair, my physical appearance, how I present myself, everything has changed. Which is probably why these goodbyes hurt more. I try to go into denial as a coping mechanism. I deny they’re gone; I deny I won’t see them again, I pretend one day I’ll go on YouTube and there’s a new video uploaded an hour ago. But deep down, I know it isn’t going to happen. It’s crazy how YouTube became my coping mechanism in a way. I turned to people like Game Theory or Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, Dantdm, and even more. They have no idea who I am or anything about me. But it feels like they’re almost a parental figure to me. That sounds weird, but I have no other way to put it. So when you say goodbye to them, it hurts more than ever. Because I see them as someone close to me. Maybe it’s a bad thing, maybe it’s not. I can’t say. Human emotions, human thoughts, they’re all so complex. Even for me to understand. I can’t explain anything about why I feel how I do. I’m not a doctor. I’m no neuroscientist. I’m someone who just tries their best to get to where they want to be in life. To learn to find joy in small things like the wind, the cold or warm breeze in the air, the white snow that falls on the ground, and even something as bad as the natural disasters that harm us. I’m not a genius or anything of that sort. And even they can’t explain the reason we feel sad, or why we form connections to people we’ve never met or animals. The only thing we all have are estimations. There are no true or false answers. And who knows, maybe one day a goodbye won’t feel so bittersweet, or maybe I can come to terms with the fact that those who pass on are no longer here with us on this earth. That’s weird, isn’t it? I understand death, but at the same time, emotionally I don’t understand it. My brain can’t seem to grasp or doesn’t want to grasp the fact that someone’s gone. That I can never see them again. And although the Game Theory creators, Mat and Steph are not dead, it hits that way to me. In a way at least.

I just wish them well in their next chapter. This ones come to an end, and all the fans can agree that it's been an amazing and long one. So many times everyone would debate these theories or help look for evidence. Others would argue about whether it's right or wrong, and then a lot of the time Mat would be proven right. I wonder, what journey will we all take next? What will be the start of our new chapters as we enter 2024?

Requests and other related stuff: https://www.tumblr.com/anxietysslave/708212002841083904/masterlist?source=share

#rant post #blog #thoughts #feelings #game theory

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papirouge · 1 year

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Do you have a fashion inspo blog?

Well, although I'm a millennial and technically from the generation that made blogging popular I have never been into fashion blog like that

Even when I was studying fashion I was more into reading magazines/industry news than blogs

It didn't stop me from digging a particular individual style though. And on that aspect, as far as I know, Toru Inagawa has been my biggest style crush. I discovered him because he was often featured into TUNE magazine (streetstyle magazine) and I immediately fell in love lol. I'm a sucker for everything oversize so I quickly became obsessed with him and his pants and knitwear

Fun fact: I am such a fan of him that when I went to Tokyo I was adamant in going to his second hand shop (he's the owner) and bought gorgeous oversize denim pants there. The same day I made an Instagram story tagging him and he looked at it 😳💗 Biggest "Sempai noticed me" moment!!! lmaoo

Toru in his younger/streetstyle days:

him lately (he's becoming finer tbh 👀)

he's super hot idc lol

For female inspo it definitely was Tsubasa Masuwaka. She peaked big time during her gyaru days ; her way of coordinating sporty items (beanies, varsity tees & socks) with more fashionable pieces (denim, cowboy boots) has always fascinated me

But beside her sense of style, the way she conducted herself, being so confident in her taste and how to properly convey it in the shootings she was featured in was very inspiring.

There's this documentary about her on youtube ; even if you don't understand Japanese you can have a glimpse of her style and allure (starting from the 4:00 mark). Keep in mind this was 15 years ago, so this style might come off as kinda dated but even today I think she still she had that visionary je ne sais quoi which totally explains why she is to this day the queen of a 10 millions yen empire lol Tsubasa has always been a smart businesswoman

youtube

I remember obsessively trying to buy that exact same kind beanie at New Look. Tsu chan really got young wannabe gyaru me on a chokehold lol

Today, now that gyaru fell off and she getting older, her style became pretty underwhelming (it a hit or miss really...). I'm currently reading her book "Tsubasa REAL" and the fashion chapter is okay, but it's nowhere as "WOW" as it was back when she got a big break as a gyaru dokusha model. It's interesting to see her rocking designer brand more than she ever did (in that documentary she's making a Shimamura haul - basically the equivalent of Primark in Japan) but....she never manages to pull it off and always looks like she's cosplaying

left: wearing Burberry and MiuMiu, right: wearing Prada and Gucci

Though it seems more like a global movement in the reiwa era, which is more beauty than fashion oriented(?)

I replied to an ask where I more thoroughly elaborated on the whole difference of era in Japan but to put it bluntly, reiwa is much more conservative and "safe" (styl & make up ise) so it makes sense that Tsubasa is going along and toned down her style?

I find fascinating how her makeup style perfectly represent the Heisei vs Reiwa aesthetic shift

Heisei: glamorous/big hair, tanned/glolden skin, heavy eye makeup & eyelashes, thin eyebrows, glossy lips, shimmer...

Reiwa: pale skin, little to no eye makeup, strong eyebrow, 涙袋/ namidabukuro (drawn or surgically enhanced tearbag to look more youthful)..

The last day I was (re)watching her video of listing all her plastic surgery and she admitted messing up her face with hyaluronic acid because she was so insecure about her big round shaped head, and used hyaluronic acid to have a sharper face, but the hyaluronic acid eventually migrated on her cheeks which made her face even rounder 💀 so now she's trying to fix it with HIFU (which is some sort of electrosound muscle treatment...). She lowkey sounds addicted but that's how far narcissism will get you.... (and it seems well ingrained in the family since she said her own parents told her when she was still in middle school to pinch her nose with a clothespin 1 hour a day to have a high nose bridge (which she did) 💀 and when people clown her for having weird shaped nostril she said it hurt her feelings because that's her "natural features"....like?? bestie, maybe if you didn't mess up your nose cartilage during your growth development your nostrils wouldn't look so weird. There's nothing 'natural' about it 😬)

This woman started getting plastic surgery very young (in her early 20s with eyelid surgery) and did so continuously up until now (she's in her mid 30s) so that explains why she's looking so uncanny when she doesn't have her pictures monitored/filtered to hell and back. Tsubasa has the same syndrome as Kylie Jenner, which is women trying to fit into a very specific beauty aesthetic that only looks good on Instagram but in reality looks super uncanny.

#answered #Tsubasa Masuwaka #fashion #Toru Inagawa

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billconrad · 7 days

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In the Mood to Write

In previous articles, I discussed the source of my story ideas but have not addressed getting them out of my bonkers mind. While my methods are typical of most authors, there are some nuances. A big part of the process requires me to be in the right mood. To fully explain this concept, I need to rewind the clock back to the beginning of my writing adventure.

During a fun period of unemployment, I had a lot of time. I spent most days thinking up business ideas and trying to turn them into reality. It was not going well, and I decided to try the highly profitable publishing world. So, on 3/12/2016 at 4:29 PM, I leaped into pure profit.

At first, I treated the writing process like a job and wrote for precisely six hours every day. (This was all my meager brain could tolerate.) The words flowed because I already had the plot of my first book in my head. Yet, a few months into the process, I noticed a pattern. At times, my writing was not excellent. Understanding that writing is not like engineering, driven by math, economics, components, and specifications took time. It is a creative process driven by lofty ideas that do not fit into neat boxes. Eventually, I understood I needed the right mindset to write well. But how did I know I was in this mindset?

My process begins with firmly deciding, “Now is the time to write.” Then, I start testing the water by reading 1-2 pages before my last paragraph. At this stage, I do not do any editing. When I am confident that I am comfortable with the spirit of what I have created (usually one page in), I will make some edits. If I encounter any resistance, I stop. What is resistance? It feels like a physical barrier, different from the negative anticipation of going to the dentist, perhaps like being hungry when no food is available.

This lesson has been painful. I have done significant damage by writing or self-editing in the wrong mindset. One bad paragraph can lead the story in the wrong direction, taking months of self-editing to clean up the mess. Why? I forced myself to write or edit in a bad mood.

At this point in the editing process, my mood should be between neutral and enjoyable. Let me define neutral. Imagine watching a movie like Star Wars. You have seen this movie over ten times and enjoyed it. Remember that scene where Chewbacca was playing chess with R2D2? Watching that scene is not a surprise; your mood is to look at the characters and interact with detachment or fondly remember that scene. This is precisely how it feels when I edit. I know the material, and when I encounter something messed up, I fix it without negative emotions. There is no mental stress or apprehension when I uncover a big problem.

When I get to the last paragraph, I begin writing. The words should flow without stress, and my mood should switch to enjoyment. It is great to put one’s thoughts into words. And again, if there is any resistance, I stop.

However, it is not necessary to stop writing altogether. I tested the waters. Sometimes, I will switch to a different document or edit a different section. The important part is not to push through a mental block.

Writing is different from non-creative activities. For example, I do not need to be in the mood to pull weeds. I push through the negative emotion and begin a mindless, unpleasant task.

If I still cannot get into the mood to write, I find a distraction can help. YouTube videos provide a quick distraction. Another tip is to consume a single glass of red wine for over an hour. I have tried all other forms of libation and found they only hinder writing.

How do I know I am in the mood? Simple. I appreciate the moment. Writing is fun, exciting, challenging, and rewarding. The non-creative part of my mind is off, and I have become a magical author. This person has the freedom to create an imaginary world. I put myself into the story as the character. What are they thinking? Why did they do that? How should they react? What would upset them? As I self-edit, I concentrate on sentence structure and logic. I also think about the big picture and how each sentence relates to the story.

What about professional writers? Honestly, I have no idea how somebody could spend eight hours in front of a keyboard of fiction writing every day. If I tried, the results would be an angry mash-up of misspellings. So, my hat is off to those professional writers.

Writing is a privilege, and I am lucky to have the drive, talent, and means to enjoy this activity. I look forward to doing it, yet it is something I cannot always get into—a true enigma.

You’re the best -Bill

April 21, 2024

Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

#writing #editing #mindset #moods

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petitfanboy · 3 years

Text

Comprehensive and in-depth analysis of Asuka and Shinji relationship in 3.0+1.0, implications for the ending and why many youtube Eva analysis videos titles I believe are wrong. (Spoilers ahead)

Preface

It seems it was yesterday when I wrote an extended essay regarding the essential and critical relationship of Asuka and Shinji in Evangelion for the last time. However, seven years have passed.

My idea here is to write, in general lines, about the relationship of Asuka and Shinji in the last movie and the ending and its implications in a more detailed way. I will use different analyses I have read so far besides mine, and you will find the links to all of them in the text.

I have tried to maintain an analysis that followed the narrative plot and what I believe is closer to what the director wants to express. However, as Anno himself has said multiple times, his work may inspire different feelings in different people, so I understand where the differences might come from and, in no way, this is intended as a confrontation to other opinions and theories.

Please, let me start with an introduction.

Introduction

While a lot has changed for me in these years, my view of A/S relationship in the whole Eva universe, including their dynamics, meaning, and canonical aspects have not changed.

Long story short, A/S represent core aspects of the message Evangelion wants to transmit: The Hedgehog's dilemma, the fear of connecting and rejection while having a strong desire to be loved and understood, and finally, the pursuit of happiness. Asuka and Shinji are opposites on their outside and equals on their inside. A perfect match for exploring those issues.

RoE makes clear their similarities

Asuka and Shinji similarities

Evangelion arrives at a fulfilling conclusion at the end, showing us how it is possible to overcome the abovementioned problems. To depict that, it always involves resolving the different issues Asuka and Shinji have between them, becoming closer, opening to one another and, probably and eventually, staying together.

Evangelion portrays that resolution using scenes showing the exact moment of the change in A/S dynamics, the moment when both pursued real connection starts. What happens after that change is unknown, but the intention is clear: once they begin to make an effort, they have the chance to be happy together.

Before the release of 3.0+1.0, different spoilers and youtube video’s titles ruined my life, as I suppose that happened to some of you. It had such a significant impact on me that it is hard to define with words. Not because I was an angry asushin fanboy as some might classify me, but because, had it been confirmed, it would have meant that the message that Evangelion has been constructing since its first airing was shattered to pieces. I could not accept it.

At that specific moment, the Eva Extra Ex manga came and saved me.

Eva Extra Ex Manga Translated

I cannot highlight enough how important this manga was and still, it is. For me, it represented a call from Anno himself, saying: Do not worry, Evangelion is going to keep being Evangelion. I still recall the endless discussions on the internet when 3.0 came out about the effect of the time-skip, in what lousy state the relationship between Shinji and Asuka was (or if it was even inexistent!) and how Evangelion was going to transmit another message in the end. For me, there were always precise moments in 3.0 that pointed against those conclusions. But with Eva Extra, everything changed. It tied aspects of 2.0 and 3.0 very nicely and allowed us to discover more regarding Asuka's feelings and motivations.

With the first interaction in the manga between Asuka and Mari, we see that Asuka still has (deep) feelings for Shinji. As the story progresses, we see how Asuka reacts to Mari's teasing and how unconvinced Mari is of all the bravado that she displays. A/S relationship, alongside their communication and hedgehog's dilemma related problems, still existed in the present timeline of the events of 3.0 and 3.0+1.0.

God's in his heaven all right with the world.

Chapter 1: The houses of healing

Instead of speaking of every Shinji/Asuka interaction scene, I will try to make this analysis lighter by talking about how it progresses across the film and focusing only on key scenes.

The film's first part explains how Shinji achieves healing after understanding how people around him are friendly, which is a big difference from EoE. In EoE, it was impossible. Shinji was left hurt and without any option to heal. He ultimately achieved healing through his experiences in instrumentality, leading to the ending and the hope/love message we all know in One More Final: I need you.

This process, this healing, happens in a precise location. That is the reason for the chapter's title. I took the liberty of naming this first chapter as the eighth chapter of Tolkien's book The Return of the King. But, what place is it?

Initially, Shinji is taken to Toji's house. While that place suits Rei, who will understand the basic meaning of life and being human, Shinji makes no progress there. Interestingly, Kensuke sees how Shinji is not making any progress and suggests he should go with him to his house. Why? It is driven by his new parental role, reminiscent of Kaji. He thinks why Shinji is in such a state and understand his needs at that moment. Besides, with or without knowing it, he reunites Shinji and Asuka under the same roof and the same parental figure.

I cannot say that he willingly wanted to reunite Shinji with Asuka, although I am sure he thought it was a direct consequence of carrying Shinji with him, so he was happy with that idea. As we know from 2.0 and the original series, their friends are the ones who notice Asuka and Shinji bond, so it would not be strange that Kensuke wanted to reunite both of them.

With or without Kensuke's will, bringing Shinji to Kensuke's house mirrors Misato's apartment, but with a male figure as the leader (i.e. A Kaji instead of Misato). It is a comeback to better times. Kensuke takes the parental figure for both Shinji and Asuka, as Misato did when Asuka moved in 2.0 for both children. This time, Asuka is the one who is already living there (previously it was Shinji), and Shinji is the one who arrives later. In 3.0+1.0 Misato cannot fulfil her maternal role anymore, as explained later in the film (and redeemed at the end).

Let me linger on this parallel. In 2.0, when Asuka arrives at Misato's house and introduces Asuka to Shinji, we have the romantic comedy scene of the shower a few minutes later. The scene makes us understand that they feel some attraction to each other, albeit in a very early stage (and introduces PenPen to Asuka). Time forward, this first interaction is repeated in Kensuke's house. When Shinji arrives, he finds Asuka naked after having a shower. This time, no reaction is seen from either part explicitly. Neither Shinji nor Asuka blushed or overreacted, but Asuka clearly states her disappointment, which shows us her desire that Shinji reacted, that Shinji expressed attraction towards her. A significant line that adds up to all the previous evidence about Asuka's persistent feelings for Shinji. What about Shinji? There is a minor detail. When he sees Asuka naked, he stares at her with a glare that is just a mix of emotions. Although it is difficult to tell what he is thinking, Asuka is directly opposite him, and he can see both the DSS choker and her body. However, he only notices the choker when she wraps herself with a towel. Draw your conclusions.

From that point onwards, we get a few scenes representing the problem Asuka and Shinji have communicating and how alike they are. When Shinji throws up for the first time, Asuka explains to Kensuke why Shinji behaves like that and shuts himself off. However, she is doing the same, playing with her console. Asuka's video game is Shinji's SDAT. Asuka hates the behaviour of Shinji because she sees her flaws in him.

Despite all the façade, she tries to communicate and help Shinji repeatedly in the coming scenes, checking on him on several occasions. Whenever she does that, the movie clearly shows us that she has abandoned her Shinji-like behaviour, showing us the console turned off.

Asuka and her videogame

The climax of their conflict is the force-feeding scene. But before analysing that scene, let me tell you a few more details.

I believe that the mirroring of Misato's apartment is portrayed through other details. For example, the name KenKen might have been chosen in honour of the missing companion from Misato's apartment: PenPen.

Furthermore, while some people might find odd the tendency of Asuka to be naked, this is driven by her disgust with her own body, which is shown in the Eva Extra manga. Finally, to enforce the idea that the relationship between Kensuke and Asuka is different from the one that she and Shinji have, it is essential to notice how Kensuke calls them. He calls them by their surnames, Shikiname and Ikari, placing distance between them.

Let's return to the force-feeding scene. In that scene, Asuka wants to help him, which is why she feeds him, and at the same time, she explains her frustration regarding the lack of reaction and understanding on his part. The conflict between them is portrayed similarly to the Eva 03 incident in 2.0

Visual comparison 1

Visual comparison 2

She is trying to understand him, and she tells him rather precisely why she thinks he is in such a state. She only wants him to reciprocate that understanding, and she wants him to think and explain why she punched him after seeing each other after 14 years. I must highlight the punch's importance. It summarises their communication problems, their conflict. Eva clarifies it in 3.0 using the same parallelisms as other communication problems, like Gendo and Shinji.

However, we know how she feels. The Eva extra manga gives us that insight. She has feelings for Shinji but hates his inaction due to his internal struggles. The hedgehog's spikes have been replaced by a punch. If they can talk about the punch, they will start communicating.

From an external view, Shinji reacts to being force-fed in a way that probably is not what Asuka wanted. Shinji leaves the house, followed secretly by Asuka, in another display of how Asuka feels internally. It is another parallelism with Misato's apartment, again with a reversal of roles between Shinji and Asuka.

Parallelism

However, we will learn in future events that Shinji started to think about what Asuka told him at that moment, so he listened to her.From this point onwards, Shinji will deal with his thoughts and come to an understanding with himself. It is not achieved alone, but with the help of Rei and, although not directly, Asuka. She is the one who directs Rei to the place where Shinji is and continues checking on him to see that everything is going fine. She is there.

Asuka cares

When Shinji grows up and maturates, we have the first bidirectional communication attempt between Asuka and Shinji. While she asks Shinji if he feels better, he responds with only sounds. Yet, this is the first time they have tried to talk about their respective problems and emotions calmly. We will see this pattern repeat itself several times in the movie: Shinji grows a bit, and then Asuka opens herself another bit. It is very interesting to see Asuka's glare. Asuka is drawn with that glare whenever she is looking at Shinji in a positive/concerning him way. We will return to that later. Besides, she speaks to him without looking at her console.

All this healing process ends in a sentence that is easily overlooked. The night Kensuke is discussing with Asuka the plans to return to the Wunder, Shinji comes home and says, "I am home". It is the reflection of Shinji's complete healing. Thanks to his growth, he has found a new place where he belongs once more. It let us understand why he will consider that this place is important for Asuka too. Both have suffered the same parental love deprivation, lacking a place where they truly belong. Finding a place that they can call home is part of their way to happiness and usually happens before both connect.

The film also let us see how Shinji heals, comparing it with the healing of one of the village's dogs

Now, Shinji is ready to go with Asuka to the Wunder and start a transformative journey for himself and those around him. But first, let me post a few more details, some of which I had not noticed until doing some research on the internet:

Visual comparisons that highlight the similar role of Kensuke as Kaji (Parental role)

2. Asuka's scarf to hide her DSS choker.

3. The possible futon share between Asuka and Shinji, showing how she cares about him.

Chapter 2: A trip in the Wunder

The most relevant scene for their relationship in the Wunder is Asuka's confession. However, there are a couple of interesting interactions before that. The first one is the display of Asuka's jealousy of Sakura when she sees her interaction with Shinji, saying, "Are you his wife?"

The second one happens when Asuka meets Mari. While loaded with fanservice, this interaction is not trivial. Mari's teasing is an essential element in the Rebuild series, even more knowing how important the character of Mari will become at the end. She seems to be aware of Asuka's real feelings, and we know from the Eva extra manga that she tries to push Shinji and Asuka together, which I will come back to later. Asuka replies to Mari's teasing that Shinji "does not need a lover, he needs a mother". This sentence is a double edge sword. First, it shows Asuka's interest in Shinji as a romantic partner, given her deception, and actually, Asuka is saying this sentence while she is playing the videogame, so probably she is hiding her feelings, shutting herself oof the world as Shinji used to do. Second, it shows the problems they face: Communication and maturity. Maturity, because Asuka feels that Shinji has not changed as she has had, and communication, because as we will soon know, Asuka also wants that figure in her life. However, it is not true that Shinji has not grown up. It is just that they have not tried to communicate again, and thus, she does not know about Shinji's recent developments

Everything will change when Asuka faces the reality of possible death. Before the "final battle", she decides to reach out for Shinji. After Mari introduces herself to Shinji in an awkward way that will be important in the ending, Asuka repeats her question. In reality, she asks if he has thought about her, how she feels and everything she has gone through. To Asuka's surprise, Shinji answers the question, blaming his inaction. Taking this as a partial sign of maturity and growth, Asuka starts opening herself, although not wholly, a sign that Shinji's answer might not have been entirely correct. Besides, her body language is similar to the previous lift scenes in Evangelion, where we know she hid her real emotions.

She will equal what to tell Shinji to Shinji's growth. Therefore, she explains to him how she liked him 14 years ago, but not how she feels now. Furthermore, she leaves before Shinji can reply to her statement, leaving Shinji staring back at her through the glass. So, it is Mari again who makes us understand that this has been a sign of communication that goes in the right direction. She congratulates Shinji and stimulates him to continue like this. Again, Mari is trying to solve Asuka and Shinji's problems. Mari says goodbye in Chinese to Shinji (perhaps, a way to tell us that the spell of goodbye works, as they meet again later) and goes to do the same with Asuka, asking her if she feels better. Mari is trying to make Asuka see that opening herself to Shinji will bring happiness to her too.

Nevertheless, we must not forget that the short confession happened because Asuka thought this might have been the end. In a sense, it almost was.

Chapter 3: I need you

This chapter starts after Shinji and Gendo have resolved their issues. As I explained before, the need of resolving their parental matters will be critical to both Shinji and Asuka. The same happened in EoE. Asuka gets to know her mother in her battle against the mass-produced Eva, and Shinji learns about his father's plans and mother during instrumentality. After those experiences and their other interactions through instrumentality, they arrive at the I need you scene where they open to each other.

Gendo gets off the train, and the control of instrumentality is handed over to Kaworu. While Gendo was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake, the growth of Shinji reaches its maximum at this point. Shinji decides to take the reversal role of his father. Even if he is heartbroken or it is a hard and not a pleasant experience, he wants to help Asuka and those who were nice to him. This is the transformative journey that Shinji accomplishes in RoE that marks a completely different path from NGE+EoE.

I worded the sentence highlighting Asuka because those are the literal words of Shinji, naming Asuka as an individual and using the Japanese word "minna" for the rest, which could be the rest of his friends or even the rest of humanity. Shinji has learnt that he must give without seeking anything in return. He must stop thinking about himself only. He is going to help their friends without any positive repercussions on himself. As he later will explain, he plans to rewrite the world with the new spear given by Misato to get rid of the Evas and what they represent, stopping the cycle of suffering that comes with them, and let their friends live a happy life.

Symbolism of the spear

Interestingly, he does not explain this to Asuka and only mentions it to Rei, with some hesitation, which is what prompts him to tell her that Mari would come for him eventually. That behaviour is because for getting rid of the Eva and rewriting the world, he needs to impale himself with the spear inside Eva 01. While we do not know for sure the effects on Shinji, the way it is portrayed resembles a willing sacrifice, a person opening himself to that terrible outcome for a better benefit for their friends. Besides, we must not forget that the sync rate of Shinji with his Eva was infinite at that time, so probably the expected outcome would be the death of the pilot and he knew about that.

This situation is what gives us an essential context for understanding Shinji's actions. As Asuka earlier, he also thought that he might not return. But let’s see what happens with Asuka and Shinji.

The first to be saved is Asuka. As some sort of guardian for Asuka (and Shinji, and even Asuka/Shinji relationship), Mari reminds Shinji before he leaves her entry plug in the anti-universe that he has to find her. And he does.

There are many iconic and meaningful landscapes in Evangelion. Still, none of them has the symbolism, meaning, emotional associations and beauty as the beach where Shinji and Asuka laid at the EoE has. Although it is not the same beach and there are different details, the scene's meaning is clear. It was the scenario of One More Final: I need you. Thus, the location evokes that meaning, where Shinji and Asuka connected and expressed their emotions and feelings in EoE. To increase and highlight that intention, the first shot we have of the landscape is a full white moon, a remnant from the N3I. The moon has always been a poetic figure for love, and it brightens the sand creating the white beach. It is the perfect scenario to share an intimate moment.

Then, a saved, Eva curse-free Asuka awakes. The first sentence references the fact that the curse of Eva is lifted, and she can sleep. As some people detail, the plugsuit is a combination of different ones. This phenomenon will repeatedly happen in the anti-universe. Long story short, as I do not want to enter the terrain of the time loops and different universes, I believe that the idea behind that symbolism is that Evangelion is a multiverse. The anti-universe might somehow connect them, and we can see them. However, the characters remain the same from the universe where they come from. Only those annotated in the book of life remember those other universes or RoE time-loops (which seem to affect only the RoE universe and seem not to be confirmed in the other universes), and probably, as Shinji is in charge of the flow of events, the bleeding in his memories is what drives those changes.

The fact that Asuka wears a plugsuit that is a combination of previous ones, does not mean that she is Soryu or several Asukas at the same time. She is Shikinami, and it is the first time that she is on that beach. Her background and memories are from the RoE timeline, as she does not express, as Shinji will do later, any perception of that phenomenon. The same goes for their location. While they are on a similar beach, it is not the same where Soryu and Shinji found themselves in EoE. It is probably the bleeding of details between universes that wraps the metanarrative message that gives importance to the scenery (that beach is where they connected and accepted each other both in EoE and in this movie, and the place will always symbolise that)

Even those aware of other timelines (Kaworu and Shinji at that point) can only remember that they met before or have a déjà vu feeling. They do not have a complete insight into what happened. I think that this bleeding of details gives an important message: All the universes of Evangelion exist. Soryu and Shinji's story from NGE and EOE has happened, albeit in another universe, part of a larger multiverse. In a sense, it is saying that NGE+EoE is as canon as RoE, something essential to maintain coherency. The difference is that they happen in different physical planes of space and time.

Let's return to the fact that a grown Asuka is on the beach. The camera plays, repeating the same shots as in EoE, linking both scenes thematically again. Moreover, the visual links expands to other couples in Eva.

Here, Shinji sits next to Asuka, with his arms around his legs and a completely different gaze, making clear Shinji is happy to see her. The events follow this path:

Asuka sees Shinji next to her and calls him "Baka Shinji" in a not mean way. A way that shows us that despite calling him "Baka Shinji" time and time again, that did not mean that she truly hated him.

Shinji verbalises his happiness to see her again and says thanks to her for letting him know her feelings previously.

Shinji reciprocates the same feelings, using the past tense. Why? Well, at least this time is more straightforward than explaining why he choked her. Shinji has several reasons for this: First, it directly answers what Asuka told him earlier. And second, he wants to save and return her to the Eva free world, and thus, knowing that he might not return, hides his current feelings.

Asuka is surprised that her feelings are reciprocated. She blushes and turns to her left, hiding her real feelings at that moment to Shinji. In the next shot, we see a happy, blushed Asuka smiling.

The reaction of Asuka and all the previous evidence from the movie and the manga make it evident that she still has feelings for him. With his body language, Shinji is also transmitting to us that he is hiding his true feelings. Besides, a past tense confession for Shinji makes no sense at all. Shinji has been sleeping those 14 years. For him, those moments where "he liked" Asuka are only a few weeks or months ago from this moment on the beach. We will get the last evidence that Shinji still has feelings for Asuka, thanks to Kaworu. He, who is aware of all the timelines and universes, asks Shinji if he will feel lonely letting Asuka go. Shinji, with the same body language and a sad face, says no. We must link Shinji's behaviour to the fact I explained earlier. Shinji wanted to sacrifice himself for the happiness of Asuka and everybody.

This links with another idea. The scene is fast-paced. Once Shinji confesses his feelings, he says goodbye to Asuka and the Kensuke sentence. While this might be a reminiscence of Asuka's behaviour in the Wunder, allowing him to avoid any reply, that would have made things more difficult. However, his words are carefully chosen. We know from Rei's experiences in the village that "goodbye, is a spell of magic to see each other again. Despite his plans, Shinji's wish is to see her again

The meaning of goodbye

Then we have the Kensuke sentence. I wanted to talk about this in a simple way. Asuka needed the same parental role as Shinji, and through her experiences in instrumentality, she finds that she has that part of herself fulfilled by Kensuke. However, things get complicated if we start to notice some details. The fact that Kensuke calls Asuka "Asuka" instead of Shikinami and that the doll with Kensuke inside of it appears in the Rei scene has raised concerns that the Kensuke who appears in Asuka's instrumentality scenes is in fact Shinji, helping Asuka to find her place in a future world without him. In more detail:

All Asuka's scenes in instrumentality revolve around Shinji, nothing from Kensuke. It seems that Shinji wants to revert that and makes her conscious that she can find a place to belong and the parental role she needs, especially taking into consideration that he was about to die.

Instrumentality scenes comparison

She verbalises that she has no place to belong yet (despite living with Kensuke for some time), so Shinji wants to clarify that point for her.

It answers why Kensuke calls her Asuka and not Shikinami and why the doll appears again in Rei's scenes on the stage. Furthermore, it connects Asuka's memories with the beach scene, as it is after Kensuke says, "Asuka is Asuka" that she wakes up next to Shinji.

The original source of the theory for me was this video

In the end, from Asuka's instrumentality to the end of the beach scene, Shinji wants her to understand that she has a place to belong alongside the parental figure that she needs and that she is also loved by him, although he is going to let her go for her benefit. A true act of selflessness given his feelings. That is heart-warming and an actual act of love on his part.

Then, something happens amid the fast-paced scenes. The camera shows Asuka with an open mouth, sleeping(?) and Mari next to her. Wait. When did Mari come in? Why? I am not sure of the answers to these questions. It shows that Mari is more than we thought and has more knowledge about the anti-universe and what is happening. We do not know if this scene happens just after Shinji’s words or something has happened in the middle, as Asuka's expression seems not to match the last we see from her. Is there a deleted scene in the middle? Mari says her goodbye to Asuka. Mari has been a bridge between Shinji and Asuka and a close friend to her. In some sense, and continuing the parallelisms between Shinji and Asuka, she has been her Kaworu

Interestingly, Mari only appears to say bye to Asuka and not Rei or Kaworu. At the same time, Shinji only says sayonara to Asuka, the only character that does not have a handshake and a shutter closed. While there is no definitive answer to this fact, I believe it is crucial regarding the ending, as it will establish a continuity between the goodbyes and future gatherings, all directed by Mari, and that is why she appears probably (and she might be the one ejecting Asuka’s entry plug)

After Mari's take care, Asuka wakes up in the entry plug and is ejected by Unit 13. It is important to note that Asuka leaves without any kind of voluntary movement. She awakes in different locations and is the Eva 13 who ejects her. We do not know Asuka’s opinion about this at any time, or how she feels about being saved leaving Shinji behind.

Chapter 4: The sacrifice is stopped

After Kaworu and Rei's scenes, which I am not going to talk about, Shinji decides to carry out the Neon Genesis. We get to the moment where he is ready to sacrifice himself, in some sort of redemption of humanity's sins for creating the Evas and all the suffering that accompanied them. But then, Yui appears.

She stops the spear, protecting Shinji, and takes him out of the Eva 01. Yui’s wish is that he can live in that Neon Genesis world where the Evangelions do not exist, where people, and Shinji, can be happy. This moment changes everything. The plot twist will allow Shinji and Evangelion to have a happy and hopeful ending, thanks to Yui's (+/- Mari) plan.

The sacrifice of Shinji's parents for the sake of their child redeems them from the emotional deprivation Shinji has endured all his life. Shinji, mimicking the last instrumentality scene in EoE, returns to the anti-universe, now alone.

Chapter 5: Mari to the rescue

Shinji waits patiently on a blue water beach. Slowly, he starts to fade away in the anti-universe, as there are no others to relate with. This concept was explored both in EoE and at the end of the TV series. Then, Mari comes with her Evangelion to rescue him and take him back to the real world, now the Eva-free world, as promised to Misato. This is very important, as it highlights that Shinji is not going to a parallel universe. He is returning to the same world where his friends are (Asuka for sure, Kaworu will meet him again too, and Rei, honestly, it is not so obvious where she decides to go in her scenes, but probably too)

Mari's last Evangelion is important too. Contrary to Kaworu and Rei, I believe it is how Mari and Shinji returned to the ordinary world (probably with its entry plug, like Asuka). We might never know that. Then, the next scene is the opposite scene from Asuka in the entry plug, but with Shinji. Now we see an adult Shinji in a train station.

There are different questions to answer to understand what is happening in the ending. However, I think that the film's conclusion is the same regardless of the answer to those questions.The questions are:

Is the train scene set in the AU or in the real world?

Are Mari and Shinji the people we see coming out from the station?

Did Asuka arrive at Kensuke’s house or is she present there if that is the real world?

I tried to sum up the different theories in simple pictures.

My personal opinion just after watching the movie was that the first scenario was the most likely. However, after seeing different analyses, I am not 100% convinced and I cannot give my support to other theoriesyet.

The sources for the other theories are these

And the fact that the pilots might be illusions come from here

As you can see, regardless of the answer to the questions from above, they always end up meeting again. While this is not explicitly shown in the movie, I strongly believe it is the reason why Mari appears at the end scene. Mari is the beacon light that will guide him in this new world, and there is a lot of visual comparisons that prove this fact, comparing Mari to Misato, and knowing the role of Mari in Gendo and Yui’s life. Furthermore, a lot of people consider that the fact that Asuka is alone in the platform is a sign that she is there to be reunited with Shinji, as she has no partner and seems to be playing with something like her old videogame. All of this is enough evidence to stop thinking about this ending as “Shinji choosing Mari to live a happier life” or “to let go the past”.

Comparison

The role of Mari in Yui/Gendo life. A hint in her possible role with Asuka/Shinji

Mari and Shinji, Mari and Gendo, the same fate.

I am sure that Mari will reunite Asuka and Shinji. She has been a bridge between them since 3.0, and the Eva Extra manga gives more insight into that respect. Besides, she did the same with Yui and Gendo, and there are a lot of comparisons between Yui/Gendo and Asuka/Shinji in a visual way throughout the series.You will find Asuka glancing at Shinji with the same face and eyes expression as Yui did.

We have talked about this before.

While it would be interesting to know exactly how Shinji arrives there, the narrative conclusion that they will meet again, independently of what has happened to the world, will not change. This resonates with the title of the movie "thrice upon a time", as evidenced here.

There have been multiple Evangelion universes, both with and without Evas (EoE ends with a world without Evas, as the manga does) and in all of them, all of them, Asuka and Shinji meet again. And this is really important, as now they can communicate and have the chance of growing together and be happy.

Conclusion

Asuka and Shinji are two sides of the same coin, with different defence strategies in the context of the hedgehog's dilemma. Despite their mutual attraction, they are incapable of communicating and reaching each other. In EoE, it took almost the end of the world and humanity to understand that it is thanks to not living with the fear of pain and rejection that we can understand and accept others, ultimately overcoming the hedgehog's dilemma. This is expressed by the caress of Asuka to Shinji in EoE. This loving gesture shows us that the characters start understanding each other and have the chance to be happy together. EoE ending is a message of love and hope.

A/S relationship will represent this conflict wherever they are portrayed, in a cycle of desire/attraction, which leads to conflict and a resolution with understanding and love once they learn to accept each other and start communicating. In EoE is quite visual and displays both of them together at the very end. The manga is less explicit and more hinted at, but the scene at the train depicts how they connect in that new world where they will understand each other.

Thrice upon a time is not an exception to this rule. The last scene of EoE and the manga that involves Asuka and Shinji is the moment they connect, communicate, and change the way they treat each other. In 3.0+1.0 their final scene together is the beach scene, where they confess their mutual feelings in what is a never seen before sincerity and openness between them. Then, a world without Eva is created (in EoE this is exemplified by the crucified Eva and in the manga is more similar to the movie) and we know that Mari will guide Shinji to a safe return to that Eva free world and a gathering with Asuka and his friends. Despite not appearing on screen, all the narrative of the movie, and the whole of Evangelion, makes us understand that they will understand each other more and more and will be more honest towards their feelings, giving them the chance of being happy. As a consequence of that, the leitmotif of Evangelion is repeated once more.

The message of 3.0+1.0 is not about letting go of the past because you have grown up or let it go to move forward. The message is that it is thanks to going through those good and bad experiences that life gifts us, accepting the chance of suffering pain, that we can mature and learn. This learning will make us understand ourselves and those who surround us more, making us love ourselves and others, having, ultimately, the chance of being happy, loved and finding a place to belong to.

And it is in the middle of this struggle, that the love story of Asuka and Shinji shines, reminding us that humans can connect and be happy.

If they can overcome their problems, so will us.

Everybody finds love in the end.

One More Conclusion: Where is Anno's wife?

What a ride! I think I have written about almost all of Shinji and Asuka's interactions, perhaps leaving just a few ones at the beginning of the movie, and without the mention of Anno as Shinji or his wife as Mari in all the essay! While extremely popular, the theory that Mari represents his wife has many flaws and I still do not understand where it is based. From the character being designed without the supervision of Hideaki Anno to the direct denial from his wife, including that the theory does not match the narrative plot. While self-insertions and story developments related to personal experiences are not rare in storytelling, we cannot explain everything in Evangelion by metanalysis. While Anno's struggles with depression have shaped NGE+EoE, the development and growth of the characters in their own arcs are what matter when analysing them. Shinji might be inspired by his awful experience at that time, but as we said earlier, Asuke is shaped like Shinji, albeit with different behaviour. Therefore, we should accept that both of them are depictions of Anno and not only the masculine figure.

In the end, it is Shinji who rejects instrumentality, returns to the real world and is caressed by Asuka in EoE. The characters do that, not Anno. The same happens in this last scene. While the location of the train station and city is totally related to the director, what is going to happen to the characters in the context of the plot is an important thing to consider when analysing them.

From NGE+EoE to this last movie Shinji grows and understands the path to be happy always. This is not exclusive of the RoE saga because Anno has overcome his problems. Therefore, conclusions such as "now Anno is happier, so he wants Shinji to be happy" are not supported. What changed in RoE is that the growth of Shinji happens prior to the last impact and instrumentality, instead of growing after those experiences. This allows the portrayal of a lighter version of Shinji in those dramatic moments, resembling more a traditional hero who saves his friends, instead of letting them down and then coming to an understanding all together (because everyone shares a slice of the guilt cake) in instrumentality.

I believe that it would be more fruitful if we took into consideration his wife's work in the way that this tweet states, rather than engage ourselves in discussions about meta self-insertions.

I hope my words have helped those who felt like me after the release of the movie.

Thank you very much for all your time reading this.

#Evangelion #Rebuild of Evangelion #Shin Evangelion #asuka shikinami langley #Shinji Ikari #asushin #asuka x shinji #shinji x asuka #las #everybody finds love in the end #thrice upon a time #evangelion 3.0+1.0 #Asuka and shinji will meet in all evangelion universes

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darlington-v · 3 years

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I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol

Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...

Honestly, it makes sense!!!

I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...

c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.

THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP

And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*

And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.

My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.

And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.

There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.

Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.

Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.

In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.

Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.

Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"

And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.

SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.

So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.

And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.

Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.

So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.

REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.

Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.

SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.

AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,

"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."

Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....

Because of SBI focused animatics.

Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.

And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.

But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.

And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.

And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.

However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.

I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!

LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.

And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.

Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.

It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.

IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.

TLDR;

SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.

#asks #anon #dream smp #dsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp analysis #dsmp meta #dream smp meta #my analysis #long post

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fruitless-nonsense · 3 years

Text

Okay, so I didn’t actually think anyone would care what I had to say. I just saw a post that riled me up and I wrote that to let off some steam. That being said, to everyone who liked my post or just read it thank you from the bottom of my heart. Seriously it means so much to me that there are people who notice what I have to say. That being said, I want to do more of these cause I have a lot of opinions that aren’t widespread, and I’d like to start with a post gushing about a certain character that receives too much hate. However, seeing as this isn’t a rant out of agitation this might take a bit longer to get out. With that long introduction out of the way... Cami O’Connell!

As I said, Cami is my favorite female character in the whole of the tvdverse (Bonnie is a close second). The reason why I want to start with her instead of Bonnie or my favorite character (Marcel) is because while both were royally screwed with by the writers, there are plenty of fans online who sing their praises (as they deserve). However, when it comes to Cami the consensus online is either hatred or indifference by a vast majority of the fans (that being said there are still a good amount of people who do love her I’m not saying there aren’t, but they are in the minority). This is something I never quite understood, but I’m gonna try my best educated guess on it.

I suppose before I go any further, I have a confession to make. The way I watched both tvd and to was not a straight line. Several years ago, I decided to finally watch tvd and started with the first two season (which I really liked), then a youtuber dropped a video analyzing the pilot for to and the premise hooked me immediately so I started the first season and kept watching until finishing the third, then I decided to go back and watch tvd seasons three and four, then got bored so I switched back to finish to, and finally after a few months declared I wanted to finish what I started and slogged through the second half of tvd. Why is this relevant? Well I just wanted to inform y’all as this might’ve led to my different perspectives on many things in both shows, and it hopefully can somewhat explain my reasoning

Going back to Cami, why is she my favorite female? A multitude of reasons. Firstly, I love how different she is from other female characters we’ve seen. Characters like Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline are fun in their own right, with bubbly personalities and childish innocence. This makes sense because they’re teenagers! Even Elena’s angst comes off more like young naivety than a wayward soul. I’m not knocking this characterization, it makes sense that a show aimed at teenagers would have teenage girls as it’s main cast. Where am I going with this? Cami might be the most mature character we’ve seen in this universe that actually has a pretty big part in the cast. What I mean is that shows like this paint maturity on women as being motherly or a stick in the mud, but Cami is neither. She’s still fun and loose, but with an aura of restraint and intelligence that needs to be accumulated over time. She’s not even that old! My guesstimation puts her at 23 cause we know she’s graduated college with a degree in psychology and was already working at Rousseau’s in the pilot (you mean to tell me you don’t just get your dream job right out of college, you have to work some dead end jobs first? YA lied to me!). I don’t know how quite to describe it beyond that, Cami just feels like a real person to me, and that makes me invested in her life even more.

Secondly, is her personality beyond her intelligence. I love how empathetic and kind she is! In the span of three seasons, she had helped almost everyone in the show while never sticking her feet into the main drama. That’s another thing, she knows when something’s over her head and will step out when she can, when something is pushing her, she fights back. I love that despite how kind hearted she is, she’s not a pushover. If there’s something she doesn’t like, she will attest. She may be nice, but get on her bad side and her sass will cut you like a knife. Considering she’s only a human against these witches, vampires, and originals you would call this unrealistic, but it works because unlike most people on the show, she’s smart. I know I just said beyond her intelligence, but I just want to gush about how fun it is watching Cami get out of trouble on her own by using nothing but her brain (I just think it’s neat). Characters this complex are not usually reserved for women on the cw, which leads into my final reason.

I love how much agency Cami has throughout her run on the show! Like, her story isn’t stapled to Klaus, she does so much without him even being there. In tvd, I can’t think of a single storyline Elena had that wasn’t tied to one or both of the Salvatore brothers, Bonnie is constantly being abused by the writers, Caroline is forcibly impregnated, Hayley starts off with her own goals before being tied to Jackson and later Elijah, Davina also starts off with her own ambitions before also being shackled to her love interest to resurrecting Kol being her only storyline in season three. I’m sure there are more, but these are just ones off the top of my head. While this makes me wish she had her own storyline, I acknowledge she is a supporting character (which begs the question of why none of the women in the main cast get this luxury but I digress).

This has been very long, and we’re just getting to complaints. Unlike complaints about the ship, I have yet to find an argument about why Cami sucks that isn’t factually incorrect, so if you have one please share. The first complaint I hear is that Cami is a copy of Caroline (I’ll give y’all that have seen the show a second to stop laughing at the statement). I’ve already explained why Caroline and Cami are two very different characters (hint: one is bubble and energetic and one is calm and mature), I know they’re both blonde, nice, empathetic, and have names that start with c, but try paying attention to what you’re watching then maybe you’ll have a better grasp on it. Secondly is that Cami’s only purpose is being Klaus’ love interest. Like I stated, there’s a lot Cami does where Klaus isn’t even present, unless you’re saying everyone Cami has had a story with was a love interest (So Davina, Josh, Hayley, Elijah, Marcel cerca season two onward, Vincent, Lucien, that detective guy, and her uncle Kieran), in that case I think y’all are onto something with Cami being a Mary Sue cause she getting all the action (note the sarcasm)! That’s another thing, people say Cami’s a Mary Sue cause almost everyone loves her and she has basically no flaws. First of all, I don’t believe Mary Sue to be a character problem but a story problem, and above all an excuse to neuter powerful women lest they make fragile men uncomfortable. Second of all, we see Cami form these relationships in real time through her actions not by her existence. Third of all (not that she needs them to be a good character since other favs don’t), Cami has her stubbornness that eventually got her killed and the fact that strength wise she is the weakest character in the show by her being human.

Are you catching on to some of what I’m saying? Most of these complaints aren’t even true, yet it’s all we hear. My first inclination was to blame this hatred on klaroline shippers who were bitter that their ship could no longer sail, but then I saw posts of people who claimed not to ship them and still hated Cami because she was “just a love interest.” Which leads into the other problem with haters: the hypocrisy. Reasons people hate Cami are elements in other characters that these same people love. Never mind the fact that some of these complaints don’t even apply to her like the love interest thing. To use something that isn’t a lie, people will hate on Cami for sleeping with Marcel in season one when Marcel is Klaus’ son, meanwhile y’all seem to forget Elena not only dated but cheated on Stefan with Damon in the finale of tvd season two (spoiler: she kissed him on his deathbed while her boyfriend and his brother was searching for a way to save him, which doesn’t even go into all their kisses in season three) and furthermore shipping Marcel with Rebekah who would be his aunt (I know some people who ship them acknowledge this but damn). I also know these people jumped at the chance to attack Cami for stealing the white oak stake in season three and ignoring what she was going through meanwhile will wave past everything Elena, Damon, and Caroline did when they had their humanity turned off as “they were going through a lot” (disclaimer: no hate to either of those girls, they were understandably in much pain, just wanna expose the hypocrisy). This all made me reevaluate the reasoning as more than just shippers being bitter, this seemed much more malicious to just be that.

After a lot of thought, my only conclusion I can come to is sexism. Cami is a very different female character than what we’re used to, she’s strong willed, opinionated, smarter than the men, and more mature. I guess fans weren’t ready for a character like that so assumed it was bad or just wrote her off as too different, but that’s giving the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, I still don’t know why she was so hated and continues to be ignored by fans, but maybe it’s time we start asking that question. It’s time we appreciate characters like this so maybe we can have more of them on the cw. It’s time to give Camille O’Connell and Leah Pipes the respect they deserve!

(P.S - Can someone far more talented than me please put out some Cami x reader content? I’m starved of my girl and Leah is too pretty for my gay brain to function!)

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greengrayeyeswrites · 3 years

Text

shit-faced in love (chapter four)

Title: shit-faced in love

Pairing: Corpse Husband x OC (fem!youtuber!reader)

Word Count: 1,181

Warnings: Mental Health/Mental Illnesses are a big topic in this story. Mentions of depression, bpd and other mental illnesses. Angst, Fluff.

Note: This may be a Corpse x OC story but feel free to insert yourself into the main girls role. If Corpse ever announces that he doesn’t like fanfics about him, I’ll delete this.

Prologue — Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5

_ _ _

Imogen enjoyed her time in Houston to the fullest. Even if she had to wear her mask at all times. Spending time with Baylee and finally getting to know her best friend in real life, meant the world to her.

The day after Japan Con, where a lot of visitors asked Imogen to sign her notebooks and phones, a lot of hashtags were trending. #imogenblacksus was one of them and Imogen didn’t really understand the issue, until Baylee explained her the issues her fans had with the black Among Us character she bought.

„Are you serious?“ Imogen had asked, while feeding Buddy and looking at her laptop—that was on top of the dinner table, uploading a new Buddy Vlog. „I wish I would be joking“, Baylee said, browsing through Twitter. „This one update page of yours, imogenhenupdts, posted a whole thread about us on Japan Con. Well, more about you but my name was said as well.“ Baylee chuckled and Imogen lifted her eyebrow.

„I always wonder where they get those informations.“ Imogen shook her head. „The fact that they called the insider OP though… seems like they were a K-Pop fan account before they were yours.“ Baylee said and read through the thread once again.

„Lol, your fans can’t live with the fact that you chose Corpse’s color! You should make Corpse’s mask for him!“ Baylee laughed and Imogen pressed her lips together. „That reminds me! I wanted to tell him!“ Imogen grabbed her phone and texted the younger male.

Imogen could hear Corpse’s confused voice in her head and started laughing. She turned the phone to Baylee who chuckled. „He seems confused“, Baylee chuckled, still scrolling through Twitter.

Imogen chuckled and texted Corpse that he should add Corpse-Astronauts into his merchandise. The boy only answered with a confused emoji and Imogen chuckled.

„What are your plans, Imogen?“ Baylee suddenly asked and Imogen put the phone away. „Plans?“ - „Yeah. You bought a one-way ticket to the states. What are your plans here?“

Imogen was quiet for a while. She leaned back into the green chair she was sitting in. „Well, first I wanted to spend some time with you. You’re off work for the whole week, right?“ She asked and Baylee nodded. „Mr Beast invited me to join one of his videos“ Imogen continued. „Then I wanted to meet Rae and Sykkuno and of course my“ Imogen took a deep breath, „my pole dance classes in San Diego.“

Baylee and Imogen looked at each other and Baylee started laughing. „I still can’t believe this is happening. You’re doing pole dancing.“ Baylee laughed. „This seems so weird. But we both know what your real reason visiting San Diego is.“

Imogen felt heat creep up into her cheeks. „I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m planning to visit the whole country.“ - „Then why aren’t you visiting Dream in Florida?“ Another heat wave crept up into Imogen’s cheeks. „Baylee…“ - „We both know that you are visiting Mr No-Face, Corpse.“

Imogen looked away. „Maybe I am. But it’s not a big deal. He’s just another friend of mine.“ - „A friend who’s Among Us color you got when there were a ton of white ones.“ Imogen opened her mouth. „Now you sound exactly like that update page of mine!“ Baylee started laughing.

„I like teasing you, Mo. You know that!“ - „I do. I feel it, very vividly.“ Imogen acted as if she had to gag and Baylee chuckled. „Jokes aside. Why aren’t you visiting Dream?“ Imogen lifted her arms. „Excuse me? He’s super famous!“

„And so are you?“ Baylee lifted her shoulders. „I only played Among Us with him once. We’re not really friends. He has a whole other streaming friend group than I do. We’re just acquainted.“

„In case you ever get to know him more, hmu. I want to know all about him!“ Baylee’s eyes glimmered and Imogen opened her mouth. „I am so disappointed! What happened with your undying love for Seán?“ Baylee ignored the Irish woman and stood up. „I need to head home. I promised my mum to take care of the dinner tonight.“ - „Way to ignore the topic“, Imogen grinned but stood up and followed her best friend to the door.

„I’m streaming Pummel Party with some of my friends tonight, in case you want to log in and watch my stream“ Imogen smiled and Baylee nodded. „I won’t ever miss any of your streams, Mo. You know that.“ Imogen nodded and waved Baylee before closing the door behind her. „Bud, we have a great friend, don’t we?“ She asked and Buddy slowly lifted his head and looked at Imogen, before laying down again.

Imogen sat down on the couch, Buddy lifted his head once more and scooted closer, before laying his head on Imogen’s lap. The woman started patting his head, while scrolling through the pictures she and Baylee had taken these past days.

After finding one, she quickly posted it on her Instagram, looking at the comments and likes that were slowly rolling in.

Imogen smiled at her phone and locked it. She enjoyed being with Baylee a lot. Yet she knew, she couldn’t stay in the states forever.

Panic crept up her back and Imogen closed her eyes. She knew that she couldn’t run away from her home in Ireland—and she didn’t wanted to do that. But staying in Houston with Baylee felt like healing.

It felt like all the weight of her mental illness and her fight against BPD and depression was taken off her shoulders. She felt like a normal woman and not one with major mental issues.

She sighed, while her eyes filled with tears. She felt an episode creeping up. „Buddy“ she called and the dog immediately lifted his head. He stared at Imogen with intense eyes, waiting to calm her down.

She felt low and sad all of a sudden. Her mouth tasted irony and her heart hurt. Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes and she grabbed Buddy’s fur. The dog scooted closer and licked her cheeks.

Imogen took a deep breath and the tears spilled. She started crying and shivering, hiding in Buddy’s fur. She hated feeling like that. Even though she was medicated, these quick mood swings ruined her.

She was feeling happy just a second ago. And now she felt empty and sad and just wanted to sleep. With a sigh she grabbed her phone and tweeted out, that she wouldn’t join tonights Pummel Party stream. Her fans were worried and quickly tweeted encouraging words, but Imogen had already shifted and was in her black and white thinking.

She texted her friends and told them, that she wouldn’t join tonight and wouldn’t stream. She told them she wasn’t feeling well. She wouldn’t tell them that she fell into a hole of self loathing and sadness. She couldn’t put this on them.

Imogen looked at Buddy and sighed. „Let’s just hope this episode ends quick“ she whispered and held her dog close. She hated this feeling. She absolutely hated it.

to be continued...

Taglist: @wineandionysus @chanbaeol

#corpse husband #corpse husband fandom #corpse fandom #corpse fanfiction #corpse husband imagine #corpse #fanficiton #imagine #corpse x reader #corpse x oc #corpse x you #corpse x yn #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x oc #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x yn

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xuyaa · 3 years

Text

Age gaps

Ahh... I dread this but I'll speak anyway. I keep seeing people have a problem with big age gap couple in fandom. Now before your nostrils all fluff up let me say this, if you can't have an open mind or too fragile for my input please take your leave. This would be wasted on you.

About age gap on fandoms couple (canon or crack) I personally have no problem as long as both parties consent (without child grooming or forced relationship aspect) and considered legal at the start of their relationship and the legality here is not referring to our modern standard but on the couple's world and time. I'll try to explain but it might get long and boring but if you're still okay, continue.

I'll give an example, during the age of samurai if the situation permits like Uesugi Kenshin they can join battle at age 13 and there are still other examples of other famous child samurai. We call it child now because time change but during that time they were considered an adult once they enter battlefield. Why? They already trained years prior to kill and to protect their lord. Example of this in anime would be Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. His first marriage was when he's around 16 and that was an acceptable age at that era since he was considered adult at age 14. So even though I find it icky if modern day teenager marry at that age, I can understand Kenshin's situation. If I'm still okay reading about him killing people around at even younger age I'm not gonna complain about him wanting to marry (although it's not that simple white and black for him).

You get what I'm trying to say?

More example of the acceptable norms in past era. During certain era in certain place like for example Victorian England and prior, 14 year old boys and 12 year old girls are passable for marriage depends on whether the family want it or not as it's more political than anything else. Same in China for example during the Manchurian Dynasty 14 year old girl is considered adult enough for marriage. And usually the age of the husband is always older by few years up to few decades (officials and emperor). But of course over time all of the above would change. Not by much maybe? Depend on the country I say.

Still we can't just hold the old days custom and norms on our modern day standard that would be akin to the present you calling your two or three year-old self a moron for defecating and not wiping your own ass. Or like when you do something stupid at your young age (pick whatever stupid situation that you have take as a lesson. Done?). You just didn't know better back then but now you do and from your failure you learn, although it would be better if you learn from other's lesson but I say pain is an effective lesson for oneself. Would you rather have that memories of your lesson be removed or ignored? I wouldn't. I don't know if I might do the stupid thing again just to find out whether I can or not. Same as this this whole age gap, young age marriage in the past and present in some customs thing. Don't erase the fact, don't gloss it over because people have and can still learn from them. My grandma married at young age and I came to be as the result of her choice.

Have you ever seen high schooler called Robert D Jr handsome? I've seen it recently on youtube. They call him very handsome and another video talked about cool and handsome senior male models. I've scrolled through the comments and no one seems offended that these high school girls simping for male old enough to be their granddad. These girls called them daddy and commenting how hot they are and the comments either agree or saying the girls reactions are cute. Huh... reverse the situation if these old models commenting female korean idol for example and calling them cute or hot what would people think? "creepy" "pedobear" even though senior female might think the same lines, heck maybe even we think the same lines. See the double standard people use? Maybe not everyone, but the loud ones are there. They're so loud I don't even know if they're majority or minority. I have celebrity crush too when I was young and as it happen, he's my father's age and to be frank, I would not mind an older partner if said partner is compatible and emotionaly mature. My sister is 17 years younger than her husband and they turn out well because her husband is matured enough to understand her ups and downs emotion back when they're dating, even before. Are all men mature emotionally as they became older then? No, just as not all oranges is sweet. My sister is 10 years my senior but she's more bratty than I am sometimes. Is it wrong of my bro in law to be with my sis?

Oh you're just trying to defend pedophilia anywayヽ(`Д´)ﾉ.

No stupid, I'm trying to make you think. I don't accept pedophilia, shotacon or lolicon. My sis is old enough to be called spinster when they go out. Anyway, when you follow a certain series, try to see it from their era and custom's perspective. Some era is okay with 16 year old marrying. Some tribes in Asia allow marriage between cousins while others and the majority of the world frown upon them. That's just how they see and do things. For me as long as both side consent without pressure and not in the case of 'parents sending their child for marriage without their input' thing I'm okay to leave that alone, I'm pretty much sure we're on the same page there. I hope.

So, just as when you come to another country, you adhere to their rules and norms or you have no right to complain if they deport you out for not learning beforehand and breaking their rules. Or when you have a guest come to your home and they suddenly start demanding you to do stuff their way, you should kick them out if not slapping their face. Or if you want to be kind, explain how you do things in your home and hoping they would understand and respect it.

I'm jumping around but see what I'm trying to say? I'll get to another anime example.

In Naruto for instance, they became genin at 12 and killing people left and right. People are okay with that right? Yeah well, since it was soo popular I suppose... besides it's pretty glossed over in both manga and anime. But the same people that's okay with children killing left and right, would they be okay if suddenly the mangaka put in story about one of the chara going on seduction mission? If it's carried out well as in the chara being bamf, maybe no problem. But if things went south for the chara? I'm sure there will be outrage, especially if that's a female chara or worse if it's one of the main like Sakura. See? People hold the characters, the series and the mangaka to their own convenient double standards. Back to the age gap when shipping, I pick Naruto as example because apparently Sakura was just so shippable that people actually ship her with Kakashi and even Madara and she makes easy example. Don't ask me why she's shipped with Madara and I don't ship any of the two with Sakura. Anyway, if Sakura is mature enough to choose to kill as a teenager (and don't give me crap about Sakura never killing on screen. Their line of work involves lots of death and she's been through war) she's mature enough to decide her romantic partner even if it's suddenly Orochimaru(ㆆ_ㆆ) (did they even exist?). You can say her taste is terrible because he's an asshole but don't say it's gross cause the age difference because apparently Orochimaru can just rejuvenated to new body and be as good as a babe (I wish I could too). Anyway saying it's about age on these kind of chara is just straight up lie on people's part. Another example I can think of atm is snk. I've seen people against pairing the 104th with the veterans because of age gap. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but hear me if you please. The whole 104th are trained child soldiers and they're killing titans and even humans. You're all okay with that? If you still follow the series far enough and liking it maybe you enjoy seeing the action sequence, drama and intrigue? The fact that you still come back to the series after this long proves that you're still okay with all the gores and blood spilled with all the glorious child soldier most of all. They become soldier because of circumstances you say? I'm glad you think so too! Although I must point out, the 104th did CHOOSE to be soldiers (just as Naruto and co choose to be ninja). They could be farmers or thugs for all we know. All the soldiers in snk choose their occupation, thay all trained and decide to join the Survey Corps, in fact the only one that join reluctantly in the first place is the former thug although he continues in the end. That aside, their circumstances certainly are different than us don't they? They don't even know a car and blip exist before Marley... They must have a whole lot of different mindset and norms than ours too for a civilization whose life are about survival against titans that's 100 years behind than other civilization in their world. Ever think of that?

Seeing modern day teenage in romantic lights are indeed hard as I'm sure the majority can't even survive without their gadget and parents' money. I certainly can't at that age. Immature. Even those in their twenties and thirties are immature these days. But now when one of those child soldier who have a whole lot of different mindset and maturity level is being shipped with older chara, you're against it. Okay. Maybe it's indeed easier for you to see 15 year olds regardless of their profession to commit act of violence and even kill than to love... (does that sounds okay to you?)

...I'm not saying killing mindlessly is alright because it is NOT. But that would need a whole lot different threads and time to spare and maybe someone else can do it or already done it before me.

But here's the good thing, even when the ship starts when they grow and at the modern legal age of 18 and 19, or even far above like centuries, it's still not okay for some people to ship them. I don't mind if it's your preference and you don't go disturbing other's corner when they don't even enforce their ship as words of god and even acknowledging that 'yes, maybe it's not canon and just our bits of fun' but sometimes it got to the point of belittling those who do ship age gap couple and treat them like a criminal in need of help or wishing them death. Seriously? Yes. People are that immature.

If you don't like a ship because you think your own is better, fine. Do your thing in your corner but don't go to other people's corner just to talk shit without even knowing why they ship what they ship. Most of this ship is just in our head in the end, and even if your ship is canon it does not make you any greater in real life.

I can't think of anything else to say now, but thanks for reading with open mind. ◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡

Now before anyone waste their time typing out comments, I refer to my first paragraph. Here's some imaginary flower for you all🌷

Apparently I'm not clear enough so I fix my wording. I'm here not defending minor and old people relationship but age gap couple who happen to be aged up to acceptable age despite their profession. Here's some choco🍫

#shipping #again apparently #kakasaku #madasaku #sasosaku #rivamika #rivahisu #hopurai #don't know what else to tag

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alatismeni-theitsa · 3 years

Note

(1/2) I know this is some controversial topic and that you sometimes cover US politics, but what do you think the american left needs to improve to reach to more people and be taken more seriously?; It's unbelievable that in the very 2021, apolitical folk are still fallin into the whole "the leftist are a bunch of crazies" narrative, we may do some pushback the last three years against conservative politics.

(2/2) But it's still not enough; on your personal opinion, what fundamental core value needs to be changed to engage to these apolitical people and that leftist want politics to improve the quality of life of the population without being labeled as a "petulant, whiney children" There's some greek-flavored advice that we can apply to our discourse? Thanks in advance :)

========================== END OF ASK ======================

Ooooo… Great question! And by “great” I mean “Do you want me to go down in flames and get cut a thousand times with pitchforks??” xD But it’s very interesting so I will answer it! And you will be subjected to an essay of 3.200 words 😘💅 (I want to be meticulous, don’t come at me)

Please assume the tone is light and conversational. I am not in a very serious or dramatic mood, and I don’t want to estrange any group by assuming the role of an all knowing tutor or someone who always has the high moral ground. This is just 1am blabbering.

I am not against leftists. On the contrary, I know their side so well that I think I have a solid opinion on its flaws. (I have friends who are left- okay I’ll stop xD) Needless to say, the right side also has flaws and the two sides often share flaws. But right now, we are only talking about the leftists. And of course, #notallleftists xD I recognize that leftists are ordinary and diverse people with empathy and capability of critical thinking and problem-solving (Did I mention I have friends who ar--) Jokes aside, I think my following is quite left leaning and I am not bashing them here. I am criticizing the movement as a whole and trying to see where it can be improved.

***** Anyways, I will generalize the bad traits for the sake of everyone’s time, it’s what I am saying! So, when I say “they” I will probably mean “some” or “the bad apples” etc. *****

To begin, US leftists don’t want to, but they are accidentally imperialist xD Unfortunately, they don't know much about other countries, and they don’t usually have knowledge of countries they are talking about if they don’t have an immediate connection to them. Not knowing things is fine, but when people on this site are like “ugh Americans” this points to an ignorance and a sort of entitlement that doesn’t occur this often in other countries. My internet cycle is overwhelmingly leftist and yet I continue seeing willingness for ignorance all around - and when I check it’s not by conservatives.

Leftists think their (social and not) politics apply to every country and culture, that people in different countries classify themselves as they do in the US. And when people from those countries talk about their problems, there is always an American that wants to give input based on American politics, and without knowing the situation in this other country they want to talk about. Ironically, the last one is a behavior of conservative politicians. Conservative politicians and citizens sometimes think it’s fine to intervene in other countries for “the greater good”. Well, leftists do the same but on the internet. It stalls conversation and makes it messy and force foreigners to apply to American standards.

Because leftists don't understand social differences between countries, they project their own politics, and that can make them seem obsessed with skin color and blind to cultural diversity. They act like only Americans or certain countries have every lived through colonialism and suffered slaughter and slavery. (Because they don’t feel the need to study and learn further.) To an American that might not be the case, but when Americans converse with foreigners about foreign issues, they seem to have a blind spot.

They act as if only white, cis, straight people can be perpetrators of imperialism. Booyyy I have news xD Yes, of course white, cis, straight people can be perpetrators of imperialism, but the attitude that they are the first to blame, always, it’s faulted. I have many experiences, but let’s start with a very simple one, of an Indian American young woman who thought only a lota can clean you with water in the toilet, and that Europeans haven’t heard of bidets or any other means of cleanliness (or that they have the bathtub RIGHT THERE xD) One of the highlights was a Black woman insisting “Medusa was Black because my grandma told me” despite what Greeks were telling her.

Another thing that stuck with me was the case of a Greek who wanted to write about the people who happen to be a minority in the US (you would call them poc I guess). Many people from those countries were enthusiastic about the project and aided the writer as much as they could, sharing culture and realizing how many things in common they had. But it was from same populations in the US that the writer found people who blamed them for daring to write something outside of their culture. (To explain, most US Americans were fine, but only in the US were some who were hostile). Or, I have seen Chinese Americans being offended by a certain thing (I think it was something about fashion) saying “this is an offense to Chinese culture” meanwhile Chinese people from everywhere else in the world (99% of Chinese, I’d say) said “I don’t understand… this is fine!”

Many US American poc categorize all light skinned Caucasians of the world as White Americans and the rest are the “cultured” Black or Brown people. US Americans are now learning that Slavic cultures exist and it’s… something else to watch leftists realizing light skinned people can have great embroidery and they are not actually stealing Mexican traditional clothing xD (reference to an obscure “calling out” comment on tik tok).

I don’t specifically target US poc here, I am just mentioning that everyone conveniently forgets them as if they are untouchable and never said anything ignorant, while they are as active on social media causes as other Americans. In fact, if most poc are aligned to a side, that would be the Left. They are a very big part of the progressive movement – and that’s why I am giving so much space here for them – but then it seems they can’t have a share of the “bad” things of the leftist movement, only the good. Which is humanly impossible, to be always correct.

That’s one of the problems of leftism, that in a way pardons certain minorities and by doing that it not only lets the problematic bubbles grow but also infantilizes those minorities because it passes the message that “they can never do anything wrong”. While background matters when having an opinion, I see that skin-color goes ridiculously above opinion on these matters, which is not very egalitarian. When I argue with a person, the last thing I see is the person’s skin color. When someone says “ancient Greeks were actually a Black nation ad then they became White” I don’t care how this person looks like. No matter your skin color, you must take responsibility for the misinformation you are spreading. I won’t assume that because someone is a poc that they can’t study and learn more about the matter of discussion.

So… the “issue” doesn’t come from being white, cis, straight etc but from being raised as a US American. I don’t imply by any means that being a US American is bad. The last thing I want to do here is enforce guilt. (If you are feeling guilty already I must be mistaken in my wording so I am sorry for that). I am talking about certain beliefs that come with raised as a US American. Similarly, many beliefs a Greek can have are because of their environment. Everyone is affected by their background in one way or another.

American leftists believe that even the piss poor British farmers benefited from colonialism – and still benefit perhaps on a systemic scale. So, with the same logic, even the lowest layers of the US American society benefit from imperialism and war crimes overseas. (Truth is the quality of living in the US is great and extremely progressive compared to most of the world, because of the US’ politics. I had analyzed this in a previous post). But American leftists never mention that when it comes to THEIR case, because it doesn’t give them an advantage.

To tie it up with how American leftists see the world, there is youtuber I like, who is a US American woc and one time she said “My country is bombing Brown people” in an annoyed tone and it just sounded so offensive I closed the video. It’s obvious the youtuber doesn’t support the bombing, but it was just the phrasing which left a bitter taste in my mouth the whole day. It was the fact that 1) she could make a statement in an annoyed/joking tone 2) people in those countries don’t identify as “Brown” outside the US (and you are talking about them now) 3) your country is indeed bombing them so maybe at least categorize them as they wish?? They have a certain ethnicity, so mention that and stop categorizing them like dog breeds! They already have the bombs, do you want them to hear Americans categorize them like that?

Moreover, many US leftists think they care about other countries while, in actuality, they don’t. They just want to make other countries have the exact progressive US politics - because that’s the only “correct” political system they know. That shows even in kind of superficial matters. In a movie about Greek mythology, they will make sure there is an American Arab, an American Black person, an American East Asian person etc (which would be a cast that would reflect American diversity, not Mediterranean) and are hesitant to cast Greeks or ask Greeks how the portrayal of the story and figures could be better and respecting.

Another thing, they take everything too personally. They think success and failure of a movement is highly dependent on them as an individual. It’s difficult for them to approach a harsh past or present situation in a levelheaded manner because they don’t realize this situation has been universal. So, they feel a special kind of guilt and that makes them over apologetic but also overzealous (like a righteous self-flogging zealot) and that is what drives people away. They combine that behavior with ignorance about the rest of the world, and you can see why a non-US American might want to keep their distance.

I had some Americans apologizing to me because their ancestors did something to Greeks and just… don’t. I know you have the best intentions, but it makes everyone – even me – feel bad. There is no need for apologizing because 1) you and your family did nothing wrong 2) it was centuries ago 3) this bad shit happens/happened literally everywhere. You might as well apologize for your people knowing how to cook. It’s FINE, really, it’s FINE. For instance, do you think I have a grudge on YOUR people running a slave trade six centuries ago while there was dozen active slavetrades in the area, and while Greeks of the Byzantine empire probably bought slaves some decades before they were sold to slavery themselves? Do you see what a mess this is? Not only it doesn’t fix anything, but you also put unnecessary weight on yourself, as an individual. It’s fine to be aware and trying to fix past mistakes - if it’s possible - but there is a certain delicate process that must be followed. Not… whatever this is.

To continue on the extreme individualism, leftists think it's the end of the world if they have done or said something controversial (and that's also because they have cultivated a culture where any small transgression is a potential danger to the whole society :p aka "the left eats itself"). Around them people feel they must tread on eggshells just in case they phrase a thing wrong or post something that could be linked to a person the Left doesn't like.

The left is also on the extremes, so I have to put 1000 disclaimers every time I say something. (I guarantee that the example with the Chinese people will be translated by some Americans like “Theitsa promotes Asian hate!!”) Do you know who doesn't annoy me if I don't put 1000 disclaimers? Certainly not Conservatives. I had more harassment from leftists than I had from actual nazis, even though my blog is not conservative or (god forbid!!) supportive of nazism or any type of supremacy. Even nazis completely understand my beliefs before they send hate. (It might be odd but I never had one not understanding my point xD) But the leftists who sent hate misinterpret stuff, or they don’t bother reading actual posts. The funny thing is that I usually agree with these progressives in 99% of issues but they don’t care asking or learning, they just decide our morals are opposite. I mean they don’t have to like me, but many leftists don’t even read the basics.

On top of that, leftists rarely want to have a conversation with a conservative. I don't say go and AGREE with a conservative, I say just talk. (see? I feel the need to clarify here because many leftists might say “Theitsa wants us to go and AGREE with conservatives! Does Theitsa want us to become nazis and homophobes???”) How does one feel they have to be sooo righteous and then cauterize every member of society who disagrees with them? Why do leftists rarely want to have a conversation? Some people were ready to attack me for referencing a meme which referenced Steven Crowder, as if that shows I am his supporter 😩 (Guilty by association is strong on the leftist side and it’s very reminiscent of authoritarian tactics, another thing that needs to be improved, to my opinion.)

I don’t support Crowder (I know Crowder has done awful stuff) but I shouldn’t be scared to admit I like the “change my mind” episodes. (Flash news, leftists, you might like a part from a person’s work and not 100% support that person!) I like the episodes because both sides are heard, the conversation is civil (for the most part xD) and I can see the thought process of the two speakers as they explain their worries and what solutions are out there.

Most of all, in those episodes I see how BOTH sides CARE about the SAME problems, it’s just the perspectives that differ. And those conversations highlight the issues the left hasn’t studied very well, so it helps the leftists understand what they need to learn in order to better society. But where the “immaturity“ of the leftist side can show is in the unwillingness to approach the “opponent“ as a human just like them.

(They might instead prefer to call Mexicans white supremacists and claim that “whiteness” has no color because quite a few poc voted Republican, as some leftist news sources have stated)

What is more, is it just my idea or conservatives understand leftists better than leftists understand conservatives? Of course both sides jokes about the other one but I am talking about the serious talks. Leftists just describe conservatives as horrible people who want all minorities to perish and we must not talk to them while, surprisingly, the conservatives are the ones who stereotype less the opposite side. (I am talking about the normal, moderate people). From what I have seen, most simple people who are conservatives DON’T want the US’ ethnic and sexual minorities to perish. They are worried about problems they don’t have a good understanding about. And the only way to make them understand it’s to… talk to them, show them what good the left to offer.

Some leftists think conversation is “emotional labor” but 1) that applies to actual labor as in… jobs, so stop invalidating doctors, nurses, teachers etc, 2) yeah, sorry, sometimes things get difficult and you have to explain your side. (As non US-Americans endlessly have to do for US-Americans). That was, is and will be life until the sun swallows us all. You can’t be THAT militant on social media with 100 posts per day and remembering 50 different campaigns about social issues but the moment someone genuinely asks you for directions on your side you shut them off with “why do you demand labor from me? Do your own research” (hint: most likely they have done their research, but they are stuck, and you don’t help them like this).

If you are very tired and don’t want to explain (as it is your right) you can be polite about it and not blame the individual about their circumstances when they are trying to learn. If you DO want to explain but you get tired, be more organized. Have posts and F.A.Q.s ready, or send them to someone else (a friend, a blog, a youtube channel, an article, whatever). Instead of leftists arguing their positions, sometimes they are like “Do more research and realize I am right.” Yyyeah the other person is not gonna do that – especially because you haven’t pointed them anywhere or supported your position with arguments. Moreover, leftists can have the attitude of “I stand for PROGRESS, how can I ever be wrong??” Weeell things are not black and white and me, you, everyone has the potential to not have a not that beneficial to society position at some issues no matter where we stand on the political compass.

For the “petty whiny children” thing, I believe a lot of people might think that because the youth is usually making noise about progressive issues on social media. It’s true that oftentimes in social media discussions their emotions get the best of them (it’s happened to everyone) but combined with the lack of life experience they may have about the world, the argument sounds silly. (I heard one leftist university student say that the US shouldn’t have borders because borders are bad but then they realized they don’t want people to come and go as they please in the US, so she said there should be SNIPERS in the borders to shot everyone who tries to get in…….)

And, as I mentioned, the leftists are very quick to cancel and attack for the slightest transgression so people prefer to deal with the conservatives who can, at least, take a slight misstep, than meddling with people who are going to cancel them for doing or not doing a small, insignificant, but not ‘woke enough’ thing. Leftists are constantly checking each other to see if they are doing better and better (even in silly issues) and that can be intimidating to someone who is new to politics.

Some leftists get REALLY turned on by righteousness (Frollo villain style) and instead of trying to unite the society, they aim to divide it further. They don’t want to create bridges but burn them and find themselves on the “right side“ of morals.

And, last but not least, they don’t realize leftist propaganda is a thing. Malicious people are EVERYWHERE and they don’t just magically avoid the left. Leftists are not automatically super virtuous people. There are some manipulators and bullies around, so one has to be cautious even with leftist sources. (Cross-examine stuff, always. You might have the best intentions but accidentally share something nonfactual because you trusted a source).

Ok that was all, I think. To anyone who comments, PLEASE keep the tones down, have a conversation, take it slow, remember it doesn’t help us being hateful towards each other. (And causing serious friction wasn’t the purpose of this post). Oh, and if you need a clarification on something I said, before gossiping with your friends about how awful I am, do me the courtesy of first asking me what I meant xD

#answered #leftism #leftist #us politics #progressivism #progressive #long post

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millenniumblog · 3 years

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[ID: A chart describing the core values of each of the nine Enneagram personality types with YuGiOh characters correlated to each of the types.]

YuGiOh Enneagram Analysis, Part #1

Please note that this is the “boring” informational post about Enneagram with the Types listed and explained as well as a few other things. The next post is what has the actual, in-depth character profiles promised!

Introduction & Motivation

Over the past several months, I have been trying to analyze my strengths and weaknesses as a writer and learn more. I have been writing fanfiction since I was a little kid, making my first FF.net account in 2003 when I would have been twelve years old. Even before that, I was a lurker and wrote fics to share with my childhood best friend on paper or floppy discs.

YuGiOh came into my life at some point shortly thereafter. I know this, because I spent my thirteenth birthday in a comic book shop, mostly watching some of my male friends play the trading card game. I had some of the cards, but I was never much of a player, unable to keep up with the seemingly rapid rule changes. Besides that, I was always way more interested in the story and characters than I was in the card game. I remember I even wanted to call “YuGiOh cards” “Duel Monsters” instead to make it seem a little closer to tween-y LARPing.

Eventually, I gave up on collecting cards or trying to ply the game. I felt that while my male friends didn’t mind me being around when they played, they weren’t extremely interested in helping me learn or keep up. I felt I had other strengths, so I started carrying around a notebook even more than I already did. I started my fledgling forays into online fandom. And YuGiOh was a big part of the beginning of that.

I can’t remember posting any YuGiOh fic in particular, and I’m sure that if I had it would make me cringe now. What I do remember is reading some and also spending a lot of time lying on my bed, headphones plugged into a small purple stereo, listening to the first of the two American-released CDs with YuGiOh-inspired music on them. In particular, the last three tracks were pieces of music from the original score composed for the 4Kids dub, which is - for some reason - different from the original Japanese music.

During that time, I would fantasize and conjure my own YuGiOh plots in my head, most of which were focused on the Ancient Egyptian and more spooky, spiritual, and horror themes in the show. I was really fascinated with the reincarnation angle, though my understanding of and opinions on how that works have grown with time.

Years went by, and I didn’t think about YuGiOh much at all. Then, something happened in 2018. I don’t know what got in my head, but it was like all the joy I once found in thinking about the YuGiOh characters came back in a giddy conversation with my childhood best friend. Then, for a little while, it wouldn’t leave me alone.

I started writing for the fandom then, and after several detours, I’m trying to get back in the groove of it.

My approach to the tone of YuGiOh-fanning is that it’s a bit serious, but it’s also with a tongue placed in my cheek because of how incomprehensible or silly the plot can be on a meta level. Sometimes, it almost brings tears to my eyes by being so over-the-top about something that, in the real world, would make no sense at all. But the drama, in the context of the universe, somehow rings true.

I think that’s all owing to how most of the primary characters are just... really freaking great characters.

It has often puzzled me. Like, did Takahashi do all this layering on purpose? Is it really there, or did earnest fanon just make it seem like it? And, as a person, I am always here for a good fan-and-canon symbiosis.

This post is going to be, from here on, an effort to match the YuGiOh characters to the 9 Enneagram Personality Types. I am writing this for my own benefit as I continue to work on my pet YuGiOh fanfiction project, It’s Always Sunny in Domino City, which is a mixture of YGOTAS-vibes-and-concepts taken seriously and a sincere take on fanfiction for the actual canon. It’s dramedy about a sizeable chunk of the main cast a few years post-canon with some canon divergence such as the Memory World arc not yet and possibly never-happening. If that sounds like something you’d like, I would humbly request you check it out!

Either way, this will be an in-depth character analysis cheatsheet for all of the characters above, based on my observations, opinions, and feelings. I invite discussion, but it’s fine if we need to agree to totally disagree!

If you are interested and enjoy what’s below the Read More and in the coming second post, then you are welcome to utilize the character analyses to aid you in your own fanwork!

Enneagram

What is Enneagram, and why am I using it?

Enneagram is a personality categorization system that one might compare to the somewhat better-known MBTI. However, in the words of excellent writing-advice YouTuber, Abbie Emmons:

MBTI shows us how we behave.

Enneagram shows us what we believe.

I will be referencing Abbie’s video Using The ENNEAGRAM To Write CONFLICTED CHARACTERS and her free Enneagram-cheatsheet, available in the description of the linked video. Whether it’s before you continue reading or after, if you’re interested in writing, I would highly recommend you check out her channel!

The Enneagram system has nine basic personality types that overlap and interact in really interesting ways. It is not a hard science, and it’s not a horoscope. Instead, it’s supposed to be “based on conventional wisdom and modern psychology.” All I can say is that with every set of characters I’ve tried it with, it works! Once you get the hang of it, it feels kind of like ~✰~magic~✰~!

Below, I will list Abbie’s simplified definitions of each of the personality types, in order:

Type 1: The Reformer

The Rational, Idealistic Type:

Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic

Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective

Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced

Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.

Type 2: The Helper

The Caring, Interpersonal Type:

Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved

Basic Desire: To feel loved

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

Type 3: The Achiever

The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type:

Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious

Basic Fear: Of being worthless

Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.

Type 4: The Individualist

The Sensitive, Introspective Type:

Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance

Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer."

Type 5: The Investigator

The Intense, Cerebral Type:

Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated

Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable

Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

Key Motivations: Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.

Type 6: The Loyalist

The Committed, Security-Oriented Type:

Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious

Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance

Basic Desire: To have security and support

Key Motivations: Want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity.

Type 7: The Enthusiast

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type:

Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered

Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain

Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled

Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.

Type 8: The Challenger

The Powerful, Dominating Type:

Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational

Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others

Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny)

Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.

Type 9: The Peacemaker

The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type:

Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent

Basic Fear: Of loss and separation

Basic Desire: To have inner stability, "peace of mind"

Key Motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.

Now that you’ve seen all those, what do you think your favorite character is? In YuGiOh or anything else! It works great for original characters and even yourself and your loved ones.

The actual Character Profiles will be in coming post(s), but continue reading if you want me to explain more about how and why the Enneagram is a great personality typing system. #nonspon, or whatever.

The Enneagram Chart

Now, you could just go to the Enneagram Institute’s page on How the System Works, but below I’ll cut it down to only the parts I’m interested in and explain those in a way that helps me.

Unlike in astrology or MBTI, which are both more restrictive in different ways, the relative position of each type matters a bit on the Enneagram chart, because it can be used to visualize a lot of things about a person!

The Basic Chart

The Types are shown in a clockwise fashion with “1″ in the 1 o’clock position on an analog clock. The interior lines mean things, but I have trouble reading it without further delineation.

Centers of Response

Below are two small charts, displayed side-by-side. (If it’s too small, try right-click, open in new tab!)

The chart on the left shows the three “centers.” The “centers” indicate the first ‘processing language’ a person would use to respond to stimuli.

Type 8, Type 9, and Type 1 respond first based on instinct (primal, gut-feeling). If you want to go Freudian, this is from the id.

Type 2, Type 3, and Type 4 respond first based on feelings (social or personal desires, the heart). If you want to go Freudian, this is from the ego.

Type 5, Type 6, and Type 7 respond first based on thoughts (analytical rather than emotional, the head). If you want to go Freudian, this is from the superego.

Remember that, of course, every single type and person engages their instincts, their emotions, and their thoughts at different times and to different degrees, and some of these are learned or changed behaviors. This is about what their innate drive toward that would be.

Likewise, the same “centers” can also be used for the chart on the right. You will notice that all three of these are defined by what is typically considered a negative emotion. This is because this is about a person’s instinctive, not particularly conscious emotional response when they are backed into a corner and deprived of something that is core to the needs of their personality type.

Type 8, Type 9, and Type 1 tend to respond to a threat to their psychic well-being with anger/rage.

Type 2, Type 3, and Type 4 tend to respond to a threat to their psychic well-being with shame.

Type 5, Type 6, and Type 7 tend to respond to a threat to their psychic well-being with fear.

Stress vs. Growth

We all know that there are times when a person isn’t acting like themselves, for better or for worse. Usually, “You’re not acting like yourself,” means that a person is behaving badly. Of course, it’s way easier to withdraw and bristle and defend rather than growing in the midst of adversity. However, it is certainly possible to experience character growth in response to experiences, good and bad. Unlike a lot of other personality typing schemes, the Enneagram has a way to display and predict what stress and growth do to a person.

The Enneagram never suggests that any Type is an island unto itself. Every person contains multitudes, but a person’s Type is likely to remain relatively stable throughout their lives, once they have had a chance to develop any personality at all. This means that when a person is stressed or growing that they do not become the type they emulate. Rather, they are more highly expressing that aspects of their personality that reflect those drives and desires but in a way that is either fraught, sickly, or unwell (in the case of stress), or aspirational, flying-high, and incorporating the hard-lessons into who a person is going to be going forward (in the case of growth). The latter, especially, isn’t a sustainable mode, while a stressed person can become more entrenched in their bad habits and defensive coping mechanisms.

Stress

Note the white, directional arrows. Each number has an arrow point pointing to it and an arrow leading away from it. The point indicates that this is the stress manifestation for the Type at the origin of that arrow. The origin of each arrow indicates the Type being described.

Confused? Let me finally give you a YuGiOh example.

When I was trying to identify the Types of the characters, defining Marik was difficult, because he has a “Yami,” or Dark Side, which has its own personality and will but which is not its own separate soul or person than Marik himself. Rather, it’s a kind of fantasy/magic-assisted personality splintering where Yami Marik is a full manifestation of the negative traits Marik needed to embody to survive.

So, for reference:

When stressed, Type 1 behaves more like Type 4.

When stressed, Type 2 behaves more like Type 8.

When stressed, Type 3 behaves more like Type 9.

When stressed, Type 4 behaves more like Type 2.

When stressed, Type 5 behaves more like Type 7.

When stressed, Type 6 behaves more like Type 3.

When stressed, Type 7 behaves more like Type 1.

When stressed, Type 8 behaves more like Type 5.

When stressed, Type 9 behaves more like Type 6.

Alternatively, you can use these sequences to follow the stress lines:

1-4-2-8-5-7-1

9-6-3-9

Growth

Think of the above-explanation in reverse.

The sequence:

1-7-5-8-2-4-1

9-3-6-9

As a Type 1 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 7.

As a Type 2 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 4.

As a Type 3 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 6.

As a Type 4 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 1.

As a Type 5 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 8.

As a Type 6 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 9.

As a Type 7 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 5.

As a Type 8 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 2.

As a Type 9 grows, they incorporate more positive traits of Type 3.

Wings

The final thing to know about the Enneagram chart for my purposes is about wings. The wing of your personality traits accounts for the complementary and contradictory aspects of your personality. They are the inconsistencies that make you human, predicted and jumped in. Typically, a person is not thought to have both possible wings but one or the other. A wing is one of the two adjacent Types to yours, the number before, or the number after, and it is annotated, for example:

Type 1, Wing 2: 1w2

Type 1, Wing 9: 1w9

Link to Part 2 Here!

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amispnrewatch · 3 years

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SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

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silverthetheorist · 3 years

Text

The Dream smp will have a bad ending (And why preparation beats improvisation)

So. I am back after a little while. And this is a topic that has been on my mind for a long time. But before we get to my main point we have to clear some things.

The medium where a story is told dramatically affects the story in many ways. A story cannot be the same in a book, or a film, or a tv show, or an anime, or a comicbooks. They are all different mediums that have their own positives and negatives when it comes to telling stories. A book can fit more information but a tv show can have music and good camera work, etc.

Now, the Dream Smp is a completely different thing. This is a medium that has (I think) never been used before (Or at least not at this extend). And as all mediums it has its positives and negatives. The positives are very clear, strong and interesting: You can watch multiple POVs, follow the storylines you care about, you can see events from different perspectives and see whoever your favourite streamer is as the main character. And all of these positives are amazing and unique. No other medium has something like it... but it also has negatives no other medium has. As I see the Dream Smp has three big flaws due to it’s medium:

First of all, real life sometimes gets in the way. In books, movies and tv shows you can just pretend life does not exists for the duration of the episode or movie. This is called escapism, the reason why storytelling is so attractive. The problem with the medium of the Dream SMP is that the storyline sometimes is affected by real life in ways other mediums aren’t. For example a streamer deciding not to do roleplay after a big event when we could use a nice view of the after-effects of said event, or a streamer missing an important event that they could have been a major part of. And this is not the streamer’s fault at all. Real life is inevitable. An example is when Wilbur missed the festival because he forgot to read the groupchat. But it is still an unfortunate negative of the medium.

Second, improvisation can be great. But it can also... not. It is a miracle, a truly testament of how good everyone’s improvisation skills are that the story has been so good for a long time (As I have said in prior post, the story is basically flawless until the manberg/pogtopia war. Then it all kind of went downhill). But I think it is starting to show that preparation beats improvisation 9 times out of 10. Improvisation only works when people have a small guideline, something that tells them point A and point B for them to connect. And I don’t think that is happening a lot nowadays. Furthermore, I don’t think the current writer are doing a good job of communicating the plot to other and including everyone. We can see this in many ways: Nicky not knowing about the festival until the day before because of her chat, Dream leaving Techno on read when he asked what the next plotline was, Tommy not reading the scripts, the story becoming more and more the “Tommy and other two people show” instead of the “Dream Smp show”, and many other examples. (I have many thoughts about how I feel like Tommy sometimes is grabbing all the story/clout of the SMP for himself, not on purpose probably, but... I just feel I bad vibe from that. It is not something I can really put into words. Just a feeling. Not accusing him of doing that or being evil or anything. Just an unfortunate side-effect of him being the center of attention all the time which can lead to fatigue from the viewers when the plot is always about one guy and his discs all the time)

And finally the main negative. The biggest problem and challenge the SMP will have. It’s ending: It is not a secret that the SMP is successful, popular and makes a ton of money. So of course they will continue the SMP. But the problem is that the smp has a story and stories can only go so far. For example, Tommy’s discs being a motivation for his character for one or two arcs is understandable. But when the discs are his motivation for several arcs (And counting), it kind hurts your suspension of disbelief (That is the amount of things you can take in a story before you say “This story is not believable at all”). I am not comparing the smp to Disney. But when they continue to stretch the story more than it should because it is successful... yikes. The manberg/pogtopia war could have been the finally if they changed around a couple of things. And I fully understand them wanting to continue the story after that arc (Which I agree was a good idea despite their not so successful attempt of replicating prior arcs). And the point where we are now although kind of weird, I can totally see the story continuing. But there will be a point where it just feels like everything should have ended long ago. You cannot have a character go through the same arcs, the story having the same events all the time. Writing a long story is hard and complicated, you have to justificate why there is more all the time.

And if they don’t start organizing better, including everyone, planning things out, and deciding on a satisfying ending... then the Dream Smp has a will have a boring repeated ending that few people will watch because it will happen when people start moving on from the smp. And I really don’t want that. They should quit when they are ahead, when they feel comfortable ending the story, when all arcs are resolved, before things start going even more downhill.

PS1: Again, english. Sorry if i’m a bit negative on my blog. But there are already thousands of people explaining an analysis all the amazing things from the smp that I would just be repeating what everyone says. Criticising something you love is not a bad thing. I see as your love for something is so big that even with flaws you can still love it... that sounds corny, jesus christs it is just minecraft roleplay. As always, I am never sending hate ever.

PS2: Something irks about Tommy and Tubbo not streaming together almost at all even though in the story they are friends again. That and Tubbo not being on any of Tommy’s videos but other are just... It is probably nothing... probably. Maybe it is just me projecting my own insecurities with my own friends. I am not saying they had a fight or they hate each other now or whatever. But... it’s still a bit sad and weird. Maybe it is because Tommy only wants to do content with like big youtubers and he is focused on always improving and stuff, while Tubbo is more about relaxing and streaming shit he enjoys. A shame. After months of no content from them, they are back but not really.

PS3: Nothing has happened story wise at all since Doomsday. Which is odd. Is Tommy moving on from the smp? He did say he is focusing on youtube at the moment (And unfortunate negative of the medium, real life gets in the way of the story as I said) so maybe it is that. Nothing major has really happened. Not even small things. Why is Tommy streaming less and less all the time? I don’t know. I also do not think there will be an event on the 16th because of the chess tournament and the lack of any plot developments at all since Doomsday. Many questions, few answers. I kinda feel like I am getting a bit tired/moving from the smp. And Tommy specifically, I am glad for him and happy that he is getting all this success but I think his persona made more sense/was more bearable when he was a relatively smaller streamer/youtuber. With the risk of sounding corny again... I feel like Tommy is too mainstream now (Tiktokers are commenting on his instagram posts and that is never a good sign) and has become more corporate (Only streaming and making videos with people who benefit his video’s/streams instead of HIS BEST FRIEND TUBBO. But that really could just be my anxiety talking. Don’t think to hard about it, I am no one to say what he should or should not do, and I do not know of his life to say things definitively. Just a hunch, a bad vibe I am getting from him.).

#dream smp #dream #tommyinnit #tubbo #wilbur #wilbur soot #jschaltt #nihachu #Nicky #fundy #eret #ranboo #philza #QUACKITY #badboyhalo #SapNap #georgenotfound #skeppy #antfrost #technoblade

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