Rainy Day Dialogue Prompts 🌧
By: @the-bad-batch-baroness
"We should order in."
"Come here. Let's get you out of those wet clothes."
"Does the thunder scare you?"
"I can hold your umbrella for you."
"You're soaked!"
"I'll toss your pajamas in the dryer to warm them up."
"Do you need a towel?"
"Strip. You're gonna catch a cold."
"Puddle!"
"Did you feel that?" "Feel what?" "It's starting to rain."
"I think it's going to rain."
"I am wet, and I am tired."
"There's water in my shoes."
"Do you want me to start you a shower or a bath?"
"Would you like to stand under my umbrella?"
"This towel is so soft."
"I am soaked down to my underwear."
"This umbrella is too small for the both of us."
"I can't find my rain boots."
"I don't like being wet."
"I love the sound of the rain."
"Can we stay here for a while? I want to listen to the rain."
"I don't want to go out. It's raining."
"That's the third time you've sneezed."
"Let me warm you up."
"I really want to kiss you." "Now? In the rain?"
"No one will hear us since it's raining."
"What happened to you?" "I slipped in the rain."
"I feel like a drowned rat." "You look like one too."
"Don't you dare jump in that puddle and get me wet!"
"You look so cute in that rain jacket."
"Can we stay in bed today?"
"The roof is leaking again."
"If you shiver any harder, you'll vibrate right off of the chair."
"Let's play in the rain!"
"Dance with me in the rain."
"Please let me in. It's pouring!"
"I hate thunderstorms." "Don't worry. I'll protect you."
"I'll race you back home!"
"Do you want my wet handkerchief to dry your wet face?"
"So much for our picnic."
"The rain is so relaxing."
"I'll put the kettle on."
"My hair is soaked!" "You still look beautiful."
"I made you a mug of tea."
"Is this tree taken?" "I think it's big enough for the both of us."
"What's the matter?" "I ran out of books to read."
"Will it ever stop raining?"
"Did you know that rainy day cuddles are two times more effective than sunny day cuddles?"
"Can you moan a little louder? I can't hear you over the rain."
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love drunk
eustass kid x reader
kid is (extra) annoying when he's drunk
“say you love me” + kid for @saidbysae
1.2k words
a/n: i can't take credit for the ending bc i think it was a cliche post that was floating around here or twitter when i saw it a billion years ago. anyways i think kid is really soft and i luv him for that
if there's one thing you've learned about the kid pirates, it's that they definitely know how to party. and of all the rowdy, noisy, rambunctious pirates, the captain is the worst of them.
"heat, get me another!" kid yells from across the room.
"another glass?"
"no," he downs his jug and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. "another barrel!"
across the room, he spots you and when you shake your head, his mischievous grin gets even bigger and brighter. you're crazy, you mouth. he just laughs and winks in your direction, raising his empty glass in your direction.
it's going to be a long night.
and sure enough, it's in the wee hours of the morning that you're dragging him across the deck towards his room. somehow, he's managed to lose both his jacket and his shirt, but in the autumn air, his body is still running hot. you're practically sweating with his body pressed against yours.
"baaaby, i know i don't look'it but 'm drunk," kid slurs.
usually so clever when he's (mostly) sober, it's silly of him to state the obvious — so much so that you can't help but smile. "i know."
you plant a quick kiss on the arm slung around your shoulders. "let's call it a night, hm?"
kid whines, "nuh uh, no way. tonight, we party like kings!"
he pumps a fist in the air, but with the sheer amount of alcohol running through his veins, his arm goes a little limp in the air before unceremoniously falling like a wet noodle.
you can't help the guffaw that slips out of you — a laugh at how silly he looks — and he can't help but laugh at how silly you sound. in drunken stupor, laughter is exceptionally contagious, and before you know it, the two of you are doubled over, howling in laughter.
you fall into each other, one lover supporting the other, until you make eye contact with each other and the giggles start again. the sound of love fills the chilly night, easing from laughter to (mostly) steady breaths. sitting on the deck now, kid looks at you with a lovedrunk grin.
he looks up at you, "hey."
you winkle your nose at him, "what?"
"c'mere," he points to the spot next to him. "i have a secret t' tell ya."
you roll your eyes but crouch down anyway. "what?"
kid looks at you with excitement that can only be described as child-like. he's a brute with a bounty higher than children can count and yet, here he is, practically giddy with what he's about to tell you.
he pauses for dramatic effect.
"i love you."
he stares at you like this is the most ground-breaking revelation you'll hear in your entire life and — god dammit, if he isn't the most adorable thing in the world right now.
you take his face into your hands, squishing his cheeks in the way he hates when he's sober. "i know."
he pouts. "you have to say it back."
you smirk. "no."
"but i love you!"
"i know."
"why won't you say it back?"
kid looks so wonderfully confused, and you take a moment to commit this expression to memory. if you were a little nicer, you might put him out of his misery.
but you're not and you won't.
"because you're being annoying," you smile.
"but you love me!" kid points a finger at you. "say you love me!"
"don't wanna," you chuckle.
"say it," he deadpans. "or i'll jump ship right now."
you gawk at him.
"you wouldn't."
"i wouldn't? are you sure?" suddenly, kid springs up and starts walking to the edge of the boat. honestly, it's impressive how fast he's moving.
when the crew drinks, kid has done worse things under the influence of alcohol — but the difference between then and now is that there are no burly crewmates to rescue their captain. compared to kid, you are a tiny little thing and you don't stand a chance.
you look around for killer or heat or thatch — or anyone, really. kid cackles and you whirl around. with a raised eyebrow, he swings a leg over and straddles the railing.
you panic — one wrong move and the kid pirates are down a captain. you rush towards him.
"okay, okay, fine! i love you too!" you tug his arm, "now will you please come back here?"
"okay," he beams in victory. adrenaline dissipating, kid climbs down all clumsy with a goofy grin plastered on his face.
"'kay," his voice comes out happy and ditzy. "s'cold out here, take me somewhere warm now.
hand in yours, you lead him towards his bedroom and, thankfully, kid follows without any more shenanigans.
kid trails behind you and yawns, "'m tired."
a gentle smile graces your lips, "wanna go to bed?"
you turn back and kid almost trips over his feet. you're so pretty in the moonlight, and kid is overcome with an urge to kiss you. he catches up to you and snuggles against you (or as much as a 6ft man can cuddle someone your size).
"only if you're coming with," he declares.
"if i say no, are you going to fight me?"
"yuuuuup."
you've eventually made it to his room and it only takes you two seconds to make a decision. one wrong answer and you risk undoing all the work it took to get him here.
you open his door, "fine, i'll sleep with you tonight."
"ya hear that, boys?" he booms, and you gape at him. "i get to sleep with my baby tonight, bitches!"
you're moritified. you hiss at him as you quickly usher him inside, closing the door as fast as you can, all the while kid grins to himself. a smile stays etched on his red lips — a smile so hopelessly, stupidly, irrevocably, spellbound by love — as you struggle to strip him his stained clothes ("come on, let's just stay naked!") and into fresh pajamas ("do i have to put these on? can't we just stay na-" "no.")
finally, the two of you are tucked into bed, in clean clothes that smell like linen and lavender, cuddled under cozy covers. all is quiet in the captain's bedroom and it's not long before the exhaustion catches up to you. kid's chest is warm against you, and you let yourself fall aslee-
"hey."
you groan, "what?"
"i love you."
having already learned your lesson, you sigh.
"i love you too."
you pause, waiting for the follow-up mischief that will plague your attempts to sleep. but the only things that come are steady breathing and silence. satisfied, you return to your journey into dreamland.
until kid whispers, "hey."
you look up at him, so tired that you can barely manage to say, "what now?"
"will you marry me?"
he asks it so gently, so innocently, that you can't help but fall in love with him a little more than you already have. in the comfort of your solitude, in these quiet moments where it's just the two of you, this is when kid's love is the loudest.
he wraps an arm around you, pulls you closer to his heart, and you press your lips against his burning skin, right where his heart beats so fervently for you.
"idiot, i already did."
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The Exorcists’ Masks of Virtue
The vast majority of Exorcists in Hazbin Hotel have a notable design element that other angels don’t: their masks are missing an eye. Specifically, the right eye.
I believe this is a reference to the Bible, Matthew 5:29. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
He’s being hyperbolic. Mr Free Healthcare was not pro-mutilation. What he means is that you have to be willing to make sacrifices to prevent sin. The context of the eye metaphor is him condemning adultery and warning that even something as easy, casual and small as a look full of lustful intent can lead to further, worse sin if you don’t notice your sin, hold yourself accountable for it and do the work to not let it influence your decisions. This will probably be hard. It could be very, very painful. Changing your perspective can feel as horrible as plucking out your eye, so many people can’t bring themselves to do it. But although it won’t feel that way in the moment, it’s healthier for our general wellbeing in the long run to abandon traits and behaviours that damage ourselves and/or others.
(You may notice that Jesus’s teaching that you can have sinned, redeem yourself by giving up sin and thus escape damnation is the founding principle of the Hazbin Hotel. You may also notice that it contradicts everything the Exorcists believe.)
The Exorcists seem to follow this idea of painfully excising badness for the sake of the greater good devoutly to the point of placing it above teachings like ‘Thou shalt not kill’, with their job being to remove sin, in the form of sinners, to protect Heaven. Hence the missing right eyes. They’re a declaration of moral righteousness and inability to stumble.
But the truth is that the Exorcists all have their right eyes. Their flawlessness is a facade. Underneath, they are untouched, think themselves morally untouchable and, as shown by their horror and outrage when even one of them is killed, would much rather be physically untouchable too. This perfectly represents their complete unwillingness to acknowledge their own faults, let alone improve. They are never the ones who sacrifice. They force the sinners to sacrifice and don’t compensate it with any salvation. They metaphorically rip out the sinners’ eyes, but still condemn their entire bodies as inherently, permanently sinful. So they’ll just have to do another Extermination to get the other eyes! And another one to cut off their right hands! And so on until there’s nothing left.
The only exception to the rule is Vaggie, both in appearance and character. Her mask has the left eye crossed out instead. Even before her expulsion, she’s set apart to the audience as an Exorcist who has the capacity to, shall we say, see a different side of things. Her mask having its ‘sinful’ right eye reflects her understanding that the Exorcist worldview is wrong.
When she almost kills a demon child, her hateful vision clears. She discards the part of herself that’s an unquestioning, merciless agent of death, terror and grief… and as punishment for what Lute perceives as treacherous weakness, gets her eye plucked out.
Of course Lute leaves her with only the ‘sinful’ eye. It brands Vaggie forever as the inversion, a perversion, of what the Exorcists are meant to be.
You know, all this talk of eye removal in the Bible reminds of another line - ‘an eye for an eye’. Adam directly quotes it in “Hell is Forever”. He uses it to frame the Exterminations as Old Testament-style punitive justice; the sinners did harm and so they receive it. But putting aside the debate about how ethical the concept of revenge is, the entire point of taking an eye for an eye is that it’s proportional. The punishment fits the crime. If someone cuts your eye out, you shouldn’t murder their whole family in front of them and then slowly disembowel them to death. That would be the sin of wrath. You should just make them pay without excessive pain or collateral damage. This is the fairest form of revenge.
The Exorcists don’t do that! The Exterminations aren’t proportional to the wrongs of all they hurt, nor was Vaggie’s brutal punishment equivalent to her extremely mild insubordination. Lute literally takes Vaggie’s eye, and more, after Vaggie does nothing to her! That’s the opposite of the phrase! Adam and his soldiers are wrathful and cruel, deriving satisfaction from others’ suffering. But they just can’t stop going on and on about how disgustingly evil the sinners are, in total hypocrisy… despite some of the sinners being far better people than the genocidal Exorcists are… it’s like they’re obsessed with specks of dust in the sinners’ eyes when they have massive logs stuck in their own. Oh hey, that’s in the Bible too!
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