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ganondoodle · 9 months

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as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts

one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)

bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)

thought 2

how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now

this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point

it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it

(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)

aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)

she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually

in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.

......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and

DOESNT

EVEN

REMEMBER.

it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)

i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down

its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once

if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself

anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #old man yells at cloud #i know im repeating myself in alot of points #but some things just wont stop rotating in my head #ngl i felt like nintendy was trying to gaslight me in totk #what noooo the shrine of life was ALWAYS just a barren cave with a puddle of water in it #noooo dumsda (hundson) NEVER had a funny quirk of how he talks #nooooo purah NEVER cared about shiekah tech or that stone she used to have in her lab in hateno #noooooo robelo NEVER cared about the shiekah oven he named cherry #nooooo yuno was never not dumb like a rock and ridiculed by the narrative worse than koga #noooo yuno never had inheretited an ability unique to daruk #nooooooo zelda never had any character besides like white dress waifu #nooooooo the dekutree never actually played a central role #nooooo there never was any shikeah tech #noooooo there never were any champions we were actualyl friends with #why is this series so damn allergic to moving the world or characters forward #you literalyl showed us that zelda companion is doable #you made 5 fram rate killing ghosts that are more useless than useful in any fight but noooo cant do zelda #she gotta be the little maiden uwu #you could have shown us the past without sendign zelda back #you could have revealed the sonau without erasing the shiekah #you had such a good setup from botw #and isntead chose to focus 3 years on being able to glue a stick to a stick in a game that isnt about glue or building

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endcrman · 26 days

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Allostasis

(Chapter 2)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, Self-Neglect, and minor Disordered Eating

Read the whole fic here.

Grian woke to more messages. Some from hermits, but he didn't bother looking at those too closely, too preoccupied with the hours-old notification in the universal chat.

samgladiator: griannnnnnn

samgladiator: i know you havent blocked me grian cmon

samgladiator: are you mad about the redstone thingy? i was just goofing and gaffing you know what im like lol

Grian laid his head back against his pillow, eyes closed as he tried to figure out how to respond. His eye hurt. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to build, he didn't want to fish, he didn't want to work on anything right now. He was tired.

His comm buzzed again.

GoodTimeWithScar: hey grain, how are you doing after yesterday?

Grian: bit tired, but just fine! thanks for checking in

He was tapping out a lie before he could even think about it, not wanting to worry Scar. He had enough to concern himself with even before Grian was involved, he didn't have to add any more stressors to his plate.

Scar said something else, but Grian had closed his messages already, opening Sam's again, staring at them. What was he even supposed to say to that? Call him out on his bullshit? Laugh along with his shitty excuse of a joke? A voice in the back of his head was telling Grian to block him, but that would just make Sam mad, he reasoned.

Grian: what do you want sam

He regretted the message the instant he sent it, flinching as he turned off his comm again. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he leave well enough alone?

Grian turned over on his side, pulling a pillow over his head with a groan as the communicator buzzed. If only he hadn't just woken up, then he could fall asleep again and ignore all of this for even longer.

Of course, Grian had no such luck. Instead he laid there, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

His comm buzzed yet again and Grian let out a bitter laugh, he could almost imagine Sam staring in anticipation at his own comm, waiting for Grian to get back to him after all this time. It was kind of pathetic, if that was what he was doing. How lonely was he?

And yet, Grian was reaching over to read his messages anyways.

samgladiator: i'm sorry.

samgladiator: like for real. no jokes. i know we were really messed up as kids and ive been working on it i promise. i guess i saw you and it just felt like we were kids again. fucked up but still in it together. i didnt mean it

He was still trying to process the words when another message came through, automatically populating the chat.

samgladiator: you can keep ignoring me if you want, i get it :( but if youre ever willing, i wanna make it up to you. text me whenever

He was going to throw up. There were a few panicked moments as he dug through his chests, silently pleading to anyone listening that he actually had a bucket up in his base, not just lost in his chest monster down below. His wishes were answered luckily, however unneeded, as he curled over the metal bucket on the floor, retching and dry heaving. His stomach was already empty, bile burning his throat, but that wasn't enough to curb the ill piercing it's way through his entire being.

Grian wasn't sure how long he sat there, bucket in his lap as his body tried to evacuate his stomach's non-existent contents. He was trembling when he finally managed to stop gagging, the bucket empty aside from a couple stray tears that had made their way down his cheeks. He was so tired again.

Shakily, he set the bucket down on the ground, easily accessible just in case. The sound of metal meeting the wooden floor was so, so loud in his ears, echoing around his base, making him flinch. Grian took a deep breath, carefully getting up on two wobbly legs before rolling into bed again. He should eat.

He didn't get up, falling asleep again.

I'm sorry. Sam might as well have written those words on the inside of Grian's eyelids, as often as he was stuck thinking about them. Sam didn't apologize, that was part of what made him so insufferable to begin with, always convinced that he was in the right. So what the hell was this?

Grian wasn't sure how long it had been since he received those last messages from Sam, not really bothering with the passage of time. He'd spent most of said time thinking, turning over what had happened and what Sam had said in his head, picking at pieces of food he had laying around the base, and making up excuses to not have to see any other hermits.

He knew he was in a sorry state, and he knew he had to pull himself together before anybody saw him. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have other plans.

“Grian!” Joel's voice was loud, Grian almost didn't recognize it as his own name, directed towards him. He pulled a pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored him, he'd go away.

That was too much to hope for though. Why would Joel ever go away when he could cause problems instead?

“Grian! It's Sunday!” His voice was getting closer, and all Grian could think to do was hold the pillow even tighter over his head. “It's Sunday and you're not at the permit office! Get your butt out here! Or else I'll come in, and drag you out of your birdhouse by your scrawny little ankles, I swear to-'' Joel's voice peaked in both volume and proximity the same time it petered off into uncertainty. Then, it was quieter again. “Grian?”

Grian just groaned in response, holding the pillow even tighter over his head, maybe he could suffocate in it. Then he would respawn, Joel would laugh it off, call him some names for being stupid enough to do something like that, and everything would go back to normal instead of whatever else was about to happen, whatever lecture he was about to receive.

No such luck. Instead he felt a touch on his forearm, something he instinctively rolled away from which left him looking up at the other, wide eyes meeting even wider. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t force anything to come out. He noticed too late to stop just how tightly he was clutching the pillow to his chest, he must look like a mess.

Joel slowly withdrew his hand, and judging by how his brows furrowed and ears flattened against the top of his head the mess part was definitely true. Without wasting another moment, Joel schooled his expression into something more neutral— as if his tail flicking back and forth didn’t give him away— and sat bodily onto the foot of Grian’s bed, bouncing on the mattress.

“You seem busy, the permit office can wait,” he said with a shrug, not looking directly at Grian. He sat cross-legged, pulling his tail into his lap to brush the fur into place, pulling out a leaf and dropping it on the floor without even checking if Grian would care. His wings itched at the reminder of what could be. “Impulse’s wall is starting to get some graffiti on it, have you had a chance to see? Gem’s got a real good tag up there, I think you’d like it.”

Grian was silent, pulling his legs up just a bit so they weren’t in Joel’s way and shifting onto his back to look up at the ceiling instead of the tanuki in front of him. He couldn’t tell if this was better or worse than if the other had just confronted him about what was going on.

“I’ve actually been thinking about what I want to put on it,” Joel continued after a moment, as if the other actually had responded. Grian’s muscles ached from the sudden movements after what felt like days of disuse, leading to him stretching his legs out again, around Joel this time, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I need to put something up over by my base, I couldn’t stand it if it didn’t match my build, even if it was undeniably fantastic.”

He just kept talking, filling the empty air with his voice. Grian wouldn’t admit it, but it was sort of soothing, having somebody else around instead of just jumping from thought to thought, getting lost in them and feeling worse and worse.

It did start feeling awkward after a little, having Joel sit while he laid in bed, so Grian forced himself to sit up even as his muscles protested, at least a little, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

“Thought you might have fallen asleep or something,” Joel joked once Grian had settled, making him look away in embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, you look blummin’ tired, huge bags under your eyes. Something bothering you?” He asked, as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Grian only shrugged, not trusting his voice after so long, thankfully Joel didn’t push for an answer beyond that, coming to the same conclusion. “Stupid question, sorry. New question, when’s the last time you got out of bed?”

Grian must have made a face at that, because Joel laughed before managing to catch himself, snapping his mouth shut, which pulled the quietest huff of laughter out of Grian in turn. Just that by itself made his throat hurt a bit.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be a good friend here.” Joel’s tone was light, and his smile made it clear he considered the small noise a success. “Hey, bed boy, let’s get you up and clean, how’s that sound? You go shower, and I’ll make you some real food.”

He wanted to protest, but his throat felt all closed up, and his traitor of a stomach growled at the thought of something other than stale bread for the first time in forever. Instead he pouted, petulant, and held his hands out.

“Yes!” Joel pumped his fist, making Grian roll his eyes. This was so stupid. “Sorry, come on, let’s get you moving again.” He slid off the bed first, taking Grian’s hands and helping him stand up. He almost fell at first, leaning far too much of his weight onto Joel, his legs wanting to do nothing but lay down again. “Careful, can you stand by yourself?”

It took a couple hundred ticks for him to stop swaying, and a couple more for him to finally stand on his own, wings spread just a bit to help him keep balance. He took a deep breath, trying to think of anything but said wings.

“Good job, you’re doing great,” Joel murmured, and it didn’t sound mocking at all, but Grian couldn’t help himself from ruining everything good that happened to him.

“I’m not a child,” he croaked out, voice rough from disuse, it almost didn’t sound like him.

Joel must have thought the same, because he looked shocked, though he quickly gathered himself again. “I know you’re not,” he scolded gently, too kind, “but you look like you’ve been through hell and back, and I want to make this as easy for you as possible."

And now he felt bad, guilty, for ever considering anything different than that. “Sorry,” he managed, even quieter, but Joel shook his head.

“Go get cleaned up, alright? I’ll make some food for you.” He brushed Grian’s hair out of his eyes, brows furrowing again, and he only pulled away when Grian nodded, throat hurting too much to say anything else at the moment.

He didn’t think Joel was going to find anything to make in his base right now, having neglected to actually fill many of the chests, Grian was lucky to have had enough bread to last him as long as it had. Regardless, he made his way to the tiny shower he’d managed to cram into the base, cranking the water heat up as high as it could for now and carefully pulling his t-shirt he’d been wearing for void knows how long off over his wings. He crinkled his nose, imagining the smell he’d become blind to and immediately feeling grateful that Joel hadn’t said anything about it.

Grian kicked off his pants without much fanfare and immediately dove into the shower, melting under the hot water. Now that he was made aware of it, he could feel the layer of grime that was surely there covering his skin, burning water finally melting it away. He carefully sat on the floor of the shower, barely managing to fit in the small space, especially with his wings. He took a deep breath, resting his head on the wall behind him, and just soaked it up like a fish left out of the river for too long, he chuckled softly to himself at the comparison.

He must have dozed off or something, because he jolted awake at the sharp knock on the door, and Joel's voice coming from just outside of it. “You alright in there Grian? Food’s almost done!”

“Y-yeah!” He called back before even thinking about it, regretting it immediately, voice scratchy. His throat hurt, but he didn't have time to worry about that, fumbling for the shampoo among the other bottles in the shower with him.

He definitely spent too much time just sitting under the water, so he tried to properly clean himself up as quickly as possible, so Joel wouldn't be left waiting. It wasn't long before he was out again, towel around his waist, hair and feathers dripping as he peeked out the door into the rest of the base.

“Joel?” He tried not to speak too loudly, not wanting to irritate his throat more, but he needed the other's attention. It seemed the other wasn't wandering far though, with how quickly he reappeared. “Can you-” He coughed. “Can you bring me clean clothes?”

Joel brightened up the more he spoke, nodding quickly as his tail swished behind him. “Of course! Be right back!” And he was off again.

He was back just as quick, and Grian didn't have the energy to ask him how he managed to find everything so easily, and whether or not his closet was left in decent state. Instead he closed the bathroom door again, pulling on clean clothes and already feeling a bit better. The sweater topped that feeling off, covering him like a security blanket. He shook the water out of his hair and wings before padding out into the main room again, catching a whiff of something that smelled amazing.

“Hey,” Grian's gaze fell on Joel, who was setting up a place for him to sit. “Your hair's a mess still.”

He blushed, shrugging his shoulders. He sat down before Joel even suggested he did, feeling tired.

“I can brush it for you,” he offered, setting down a grilled salmon in front of Grian, whose mouth was watering already. “I've done it for Lizzie before, I promise not to pull.”

“Did you catch this?” Grian asked instead, forcing himself to slow down before he ate the whole thing immediately.

“Borrowed one of your poles, figured you wouldn't mind too much,” Joel explained, setting a steaming mug down in front of him too.

He hummed softly in response, forcing himself to slow down after a couple bites and taking a sip of the tea Joel had made him. Far too sweet.

“I added some extra honey,” either Joel was reading his mind, or he'd made a face without realizing. “Your throat sounded pretty rough, it'll be good for you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, truly meaning it, whether it sounded that way or not. Joel was pretty quiet while he finished eating, puttering around the small base, occupying himself. Eventually he finished, pushing the plate away for later, and he heard Joel coming up behind him.

“I found your brush, mind if I take care of your hair?”

Grian sighed, a little smile creeping onto his face. “I guess, you promised not to pull though,” he reminded the other, head tilting back a bit.

“And I meant it!” Joel sounded offended, though he snickered after a second. “It'll help, you'll feel more like a person,” he murmured, and Grian felt him starting to work his fingers through his hair.

“You've been helping a lot already,” Grian admitted softly, relaxing easily into the touch. How long was his hair now? It couldn't be too much longer than he usually kept it.

“Glad to hear,” for once Joel didn't sound smug or full of himself, just genuinely glad. “How long have you been out of it?” The brush started working it's way through his hair.

“Dunno,” Grian mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Since… Since I last went off server,” he felt himself tense a little at the reminder, wings twitching.

“With Scar and Mumbo?” Joel kept his tone even, non-judgemental for once. “They mentioned your eye, was that what happened?”

A hand suddenly flew up to his eye, gently touching the skin near it. “P-part of it. Is it still there?” He'd been avoiding looking in the mirror since.

“Barely,” Joel assured him, and the motion of the brush through his hair started relaxing him again. “I only noticed because I knew to look for it. You said part, what else happened?”

He felt like his throat was closing up, eyes watering a little. “My- my wings,” he managed out, taking a deep breath. “Something happened.”

“Something,” Joel repeated, hands never stopping. “Are they alright? Nothing broken at least? They don't look broken.”

“N-nothing broken,” Grian confirmed, feeling them tremble, just a little. “Don't really wanna-”

“That's fine,” Joel murmured, and it was quiet for a moment. “With me? Or with anyone?”

He didn't know how to answer that, opening his mouth to begin speaking, only to close it when he couldn't think of anything. No, not Joel specifically, but he wasn't sure who, if he would anyone.

“I usually braid Lizzie's hair when I'm done,” Joel said nonchalantly, the brush regretfully leaving Grian's head, “but yours is pretty short. We could try a little ponytail if you want, I think it'd be fun.”

Grian shook his head, reaching for the mug of tea again. Knowing Joel, he'd gather up all the hair in front of his head, pull it all together right on his forehead… Though maybe not today specifically.

There was silence for a bit, comfortable, until Joel decided to speak again. “Would you tell Mumbo?”

Grian froze. Would he? He could. Mumbo knew the kind of stuff he went through when he was young, even if just vaguely. He was scared though, there was always the chance, no matter how small, that Mumbo would scold him when he found out just how deep that rabbit hole went.

“Careful, you'll shatter that,” Joel warned him, moving to take the mug from his white-knuckled hands, setting it down on the table again. Grian hadn't even noticed how tightly he'd been holding onto it. “Not Mumbo then, what about Scar?”

Scar. Scar didn't know any of it. At least, he knew less than Mumbo, he'd have less context clues to put it all together, he'd be reliant on the details Grian told him, and only those.

“... Maybe, I don't know,” he answered honestly, tracing the grain in the table with his finger.

“Maybe is better than no, or trying to shatter a cup of boiling tea all over yourself,” Joel was being dramatic, it wasn't even steaming anymore. “Why don't you take a nap? I'll get him over here in the meantime, I think he'll help, even if you don't tell him.”

Grian hadn't even realized how tired he was again, the thought of a nap sounding much more pleasing to him than it usually would. He didn't even think to argue, nodding as he carefully got up from the table, a yawn escaping him.

“Careful now,” Joel warned, helping him to bed. Grian would have taken offense at that were he not so exhausted, and the second he was laying down again he was out like a light.

#grian #hermitcraft #smallishbeans #yandere high school #writing #my post #allostasis main tag #allostasis fic

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izanori · 11 months

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ok fine i give up. i didnt want to do this, but i got hungry (<- weak-willed) (pic is unrelated, but its eye-catching and i like to look at it. her face brings me such peace)

its juneteenth! and to celebrate this day, wont you consider giving me 🙋🏾‍♂️ money? for many reasons that are just too much to explain, im super broke and food insecure… and i have other worries, but lets focus on food for now!

my cashapp is $chris8291, and this is my ko-fi (which is basically my paypal. i dont want to link directly to my paypal😅). using my ko-fi, you could possibly get a drawing out of this - or if you know of a short text or comic in japanese you want translated (just translated, not edited to have english text which is a different thing) you can dm me about it and ill see if i can help you quickly as well.

and under the cut i’ll explain what reparations are for, since i know many have people no clue

suppp

i know it may seem greedy. why ask for money 150+ years after the fact? but heres the deal: thats not even a long time. thats like, what, 3-4 lifetimes ago? and generational wealth is a thing. parents and grandparents buy things or pay for things for their children, and that makes their life easier and makes it easier for them to stack their paper.

now, after the civil war, the enslaved people were set free alright…. with no help, no money, no land, no nothing. reconstruction failed, and hundreds of thousands of people were left to start their lives with literally nothing to their name.

but heres the kicker! those people generated soooo much wealth for their masters, and this country. america was built on slavery! we were able to export so many goods due to slave labor, and thats why many european countries were on the south’s side during the war (but didnt very openly support the south because they were so cringe i think - but thats besides the point)

so. african-americans made this country wealthy. and yet, we kept NONE of that wealth. that money went to rich (largely white) landowners. since we had to start at the bottom even if the work we put in makes it so that never should have been the case, thats why people argue in favor of reparations. and thats why, as a very very small part of being an ally, especially if you are a white american who isnt struggling, you should give me $3. the end

(also p.s. this has been done before lol)

#cici #on the other hand if i get $0 and dont eat a meal today its like #like my stomach will shrink and in the future ill spend less on food cuz i wont eat as much #i think.#so either way ill win… just in a longer or shorter run

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s-ccaam-era-crepe · 4 months

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ooo can I hear about the bap crew?

OF COURSE <333 i loveeee talking about the bap crew thank youuuu

okay so first off general warnings for the podcasts and all my posts about it for the most part <3 there are mentions of cults, death/murder, religion (and the like) and i think thats it mostly? (as a general) but sometimes it can be a lot, take care of yourself yall <33 and the rest is under the cut there is a lot <3

with that out of the way i guess if you didn't know already lol !! they are my podcast ocs !!! i'm in the works of creating a horror <3 podcast that takes place in an amusement park with 5 main characters and a god <3

so this post here explains a lot about the main characters personalities and stuff and the tags #brickwoods and #bap on my tumblr have some other posts related to the crew <3 recently i've been doing some extra stuff for fleshing out their families who will eventually be showing up in podcast and i can do a quick over view of them here tho <3

oh and not necessarily crew related but the length of podcast <333 imma ramble about that for a sec <3 so season 1 is going to be all amusement park stuff and the last episode of that season will be a major plot point/death (sorta setting the darker/more dramatic scene for s2) s2 is also amusement park shenanigans however now that the stakes have been raised the rest of the cast is pretty scared now yk. but they have still their motivations for wanting to get out and so <3

s3 is going to be after our final girl rebecca escapes the park and tries to a) sorta solve why that happened in the first place (why them. who is the god etc etc) and b) try to give closure to the others families so yeah. plus some other plots things yk <3

and then s4 will most likely be rebecca trying to stop/take down the cult because she doesn't want something like this to happen again and the ending is in workshop <33 (aka i can't decide between like. a couple possible endings i have planned but main plot won't change despite which one i eventually choose :))

okay so back to the crew lol <33 since that other post explains a lot of basic stuff about them feel free to ask specific questions about them now that you have info about them <3 but for now family time !!!

(specific warnings for this area some bad parents mentioned)

so david <3 ae is an only child with 2 moms, they are very sweet and amazing and extremely Extremely heartbroken when david never comes home after the park and stuff. they definitely had like plans for college visits and they had a car ready for when david was going to get aer license. the two of them are going to be pretty sad to write for in s3 i think but also i love them as characters (i was posting about them like last week lol they are very cute and fun when they arent sad </3)

hmm sophia's family <3 so her dad was born into the cult when it was a bit less strict (he was 'home-schooled' by the cult but also was allowed out bc his family is a main influential family) and her mom married in. they aren't the nicest parents by a long shot, and they only respect sophia because she became the leader. sophia does have a sibling however she doesn't know about them bc their parents kept them separate in order not to 'taint' sophia's godly touch

rebecca's family doesn't have too much going on, it is also an only child and her parents have been active in her life, not as great/caring as davids parents yet not uncaring either. rebecca really just lived with them her whole life and doesn't totally feel like it connected with its parents in any important way tbh

sunni ! so sunni grew up with only his mom and his sister and after the incident with carter (wait did i tell yall that was her name yet. thats the mutual best friends name in case i Didnt say that already <3) sunni's sister Mary ended up moving out with a friend and not keeping in touch with sunni or their mom again. she also changed her last name as soon as she legally could. but yeah so sunni doesn't have a very close relationship with his mom either and he has no relationship with his sister anymore which upests him a lot but he also keeps this close to him

and blair <3 so blair has 2 brothers (twins age 10 (i think)) named ben and bruno (named by My twin siblings so) and their parents are pretty bad. blair is very protective of their younger brothers and has been trying for a while to save up enough to move all of them out but hasn't quite yet. they fight really hard in the park to try and get out because they do not want to leave their brothers with out someone else to help and be there with them.

and i think thats it for a basic run over of all their families and the characters in general a bit <3 :)) feel free to ask any questions based on this post, the last post or like. literally anything <33 they are my passion project and i love BAP sooo very much <3

#camera asks #whittingsonder #thank you SO much for the ask whit !!#also this took forever to type out i apologize </3 #anyways woo !! i love them lots <3 #also there are Probably spelling/grammar errors im so sorry lol </3 #brickwoods #bap asks #bap

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dailyoyo · 1 month

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like. ok. ok. i was teh one who played jet set radio first. and was fixated on it. and i wasnt planning to make any rp tuppers until i played future so i had more to pullfrom for my characterizations. but mod pseud encouraged me to go ahead and do it anyway since we're just fucking aroudn. so i did.

and then we immediatley did a joke rp in the pre-established "sonic cast group chat" with yoyo and beat beig trolls who got in because of the server security being busted lately (long story). and bc we hadn't played future yet they were solely based aroudn what we dredged out of og jsr and like some shit on the (then-unreliable) wiki. and we kept throwing them in and im like 70% sure that was helping feed my hyperfixation enough to manage to play future. and we were like "lol whatever" and started lore blending bc its the leapusverse who cares.

and mod pseud was like "hehe i kinda wanna give leapusverse!yoyo a slightly diff design cuz we're canon blending and i wanna give more lv characters minor design edits". and so they did that. and also did that for beat. and we just had this lore that like. to try to shake off some of the negative attention yoyo got from the mr backpacks incident he changed his style slightly, so like, him starting with having the og jsr design despite being increasingly based on future yoyo is Still canon?

but then we started developing our actual jsr hc-verse more OUTSIDE the context of the leapusverse and we wanted to keep the changed designs esp cuz its an au and stuff so like. we did. and now we have this confusing thing where paradox!yoyo mostly just has og jsr!yoyo's design until like, either after the kidnapping or postgame (which actively conflicts with the leapusverse timeline because in that he only changed outfits after mr backpacks specifically which yknow DID NOT HAPPEN IN THE JET SET RADIO UNIVERSE). in case youre ever wondering why some stuff on this blog is like Definitely not og jsr canon but yoyo looks like his og jsr self thats why btw. paradox yoyo stop being confusing you suck

and all of it spiralled into this whole like. thing. thats like a little hard to call an au at points because its not THAT heavily au'd and is mostly just future-based in most places at this point but it is objectively an au. oh god i didnt realize how long this post got. oh well

first thing he ever said in the leapusverse for some reason

#mod noname

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thecoloroute · 9 months

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Back To School Shopping List for A College Freshman Art Student

Hi guys I went to RISD a few years back but I do remember looking up this question. if you're not going to college just yet but are interested in art, it could be super useful to get comfortable using the tools/mediums below. even though i know most teachers give a materials list the first day, i needed to be prepared way ahead of time because of my anxiety. in my case, i was told id get a list in person, but walking in with an empty bag just felt wrong to me lol??? i ended up bringing a couple things, but missed a few vital essentials so here's a list of everything that i can think of. read to the end for my wagon epiphany that i think all art students should adopt (if they havent already)

-a notebook or planner (lined). some professors will hit you with extremely important info right away and wont always tell you to write down what they're saying but 90% of the time its important stuff you dont wanna miss

-a sketchbook. this can help if they throw a quick exercise at you and you have to write/draw something quickly. i blanked and didnt bring a sketchbook from home (because i was told id need to get certain types according to the teacher's specifications) but looking back idk why i didnt?? first days are hectic. actually the first week lol. anyways there were single sheets offered but honestly having your own right off the bat helps for organizational purposes, saves time, and IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, prevents the need to get up in front of everyone

-writing utensils. I'd recommend a nice pen and a set of drawing pencils (doesn't have to be anything crazy cause your teacher will most likely request that you buy more advanced/specific tools later on)

-headphones. every teacher is different, but usually art students will be given little tasks to work on during their first day in class at college. I was not clever enough to remember to pack my headphones, and the silence in a room full of focused art students can be especially unnerving when you're nervous. Hearing a student's questionable music taste can be equally unnerving, so make sure to pack those.

-snacks/drinks. this is kind of a branch off of the last one, cause again it can get sooooo quiet in these classrooms/studios. Pack snacks to prevent belly grumbles. I have heard it happen to many people in my classes and i am a victim as well. stay ready

-sunglasses. seems trivial but super important because you'll probably be walking around outside a lot your first day. this is the typical college commute, up down and around the streets.

-MONEY. I AM GOING TO PUT THIS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS WAS BY FAR MY BIGGEST MISTAKE LOL. UNFORTUNATELY, STAY STRAPPED WITH CASH OR CARD BCUZ! SOME OF THOSE ART SCHOOL PROFESSORS ARE A LIL BOUJEE AND WILL SEND U RIGHT TO THE CAMPUS ART STORE DAY ONE. It was very overwhelming for me, and some might think its common sense but idk my entire school career you always get some time after school to buy that stuff. they really sent us shopping ten minutes into class so be aware or look broke like i did.

Other than that, all the stuff you'll have to potentially purchase that day will be specified by the teacher. If you're worried about getting the wrong thing, don't be. The students get to go together and the teacher gives very specific details about the products to buy, which the campus store workers are well aware of. Off the top of my head, i remember being sent to get materials for a few different classes throughout the day. I'll list them here without the brand specifics (1. cause i dont know and 2. cause it may not match what your teacher will want anyway) just to give you a general idea.

-large ruler, metal, 1 yard (3 ft)

-clear plastic t-shaped ruler for drawing

-sketchbooks, drawing pads (of all sizes)

-a large portfolio (looks like a gigantic black totebag for big art papers)

-sewing kit

-string

-muslin fabric

-ink pens

-drawing pencils, different sizes

-drawing charcoal

-white paper drawing blender, a good eraser

-a toolbox for the drawing materials

-gouache paint

-brushes, pallets

-oil paint crayons

-a tool box

-ink pens like harry potter

That's pretty much it. If you'd like to grab some of these things before hand it should be fine, but for the most part id stick to waiting just to be safe.

Also a side note: I was a commuter so i could run home and grab my materials collected over my entire life but not every student is this lucky and some of their homes are thousands of miles away. if ur a traveling bird like them, it could be very VERY useful to pack some cool materials and tools like idk holographic paper or a jar of crystals because CAMPUS ART STORES ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!!!!

Also....... i know it sounds a little ridiculous but there were many many times i wished i had bought a wagon to transport things around campus. imagine me with a like 4ft portfolio bag the size of my body, a pencil toolbox, another toolbox for actual tools, my backpack, any projects i may have brought, a coffee if i am holding one??? and god forbid its a rainy day and i needed my umbrella lol.. it looks & feels difficult anyway trying to lug all the stuff art school requires.. so thats just some food for thought. Imagine a cute pink wagon?!??

anyways thats a wrap, have a lovely school year artists!

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bruce-wayne-simp · 1 year

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Like Minds

Hey hi hello im about to watch Like Minds (aka Murderous Intent) and apparently the only way i can watch movies now is by liveblogging them so 🤷‍♀️

(Maybe expect the LotR trilogy next idk)

Like with Remainder i have a vague idea what this movie is about. Well, maybe a bit more of an idea what this is about. All i know is there are 2 teenage murderers and a TON of homoeroticism (not canon i think but youre crazy if you dont see it)

Also this liveblog/my watching of Like Minds was heavily sped up by @catlovingwitch who sent me a lovely ask which fuckign FUELED me to do this so thank you v v much ❤️❤️❤️

Once again, i am a T Sturridge stan so this will probably be very heavy on him. Unless over the course of this i become an Eddie Redmayne stan

Spoilers be ahead

Idk why im like. Anxious? Whatever.

Its starting aaaaaa

Eddie R screaming on a train (hes thrilled)

Ooh theyre stealing stuff?? T Sturridge isnt here yet

(The way its set up is Alex (Eddie) is captured by the police and is basically giving them The Backstory™️ which is where Nigel (Tom) comes in)

Oh shit he killed Nigel

Ok so psychiatry lady is here and her name is Sally

God Alex looks so young

Ooh this is interesting and actually really good

Flashback starting

THERES NIGEL god hes pretty

Lmaooo Nigel is the new kid and hes Alex's roommate and Alex is kinda pissed lol

Thats what you get when you snoop. Alex was looking in Nigels trunk and found a taxidermied cat(??)

Lmao Nigels in the doorway like 'Do you mind?'

Oh hes so concerned about his taxidermy

'Hes weird' they say as they explode a cockroach for fun

Lmao Nigel reads books about anatomy/autopsies?? yikes

Oof Alex is pulling the misogyny card. Hes telling the psychiatrist lady shes running out of time to have kids 💀 sir youre not helping your case

"Nigel got what he wanted." "And what was that?" "Eternity."

Sally is Over It. She doesnt think Alex is guilty

Shes listening to the tape she recorded from her talk with Alex and is like 'hmmmm'

Back to flashbackss

Oh god Nigels dissecting a bird IN THE DORM ROOM

Lmaooooo i love Nigel

Alex is PISSED and is like 'the least you can do is show me some common courtesy' and Nigels like '??? K.'

Well that interview just went to shit

So Alex was kinda taunting Sally but mostly the detective dude. So detective guy comes in and is like 'Gunshot residue says you were holding the gun when it went off'

Alex asks to see his father, the detectuve is like 'he cant help you', Alex panics a little, grabs Sallys wrist snd is like 'Nigel was holding the gun when it went off, i didnt do this' and the detective dude loses it and punches him and Alex is dragged off to lockup kicking and screaming

Apparently Nigel ALSO had GSR on his hands so anybody couldve pulled the trigger

Yall need to watch this fucking movie

Ok so basically a guard runs back in and is like 'He wants to talk'. Well actually hes holding 2 guards hostage w a police baton and is pleading to be let out of the cell. He fights the guards, loses and Sally shows up as hes on the ground being cuffed again. They sit him on the bed, Alex insists he didnt kill Nigel and then starts talking about someone being 'here' and 'listening' and Sallys like '???'

Ooh ok so Alex thinks someone is talking to him im his head?? Does he think Nigel is?? We are at a flashback btw

Wait did they already steal stuff off the train??

Alex youre a bit of a brat lmao

Wait was he stealing stuff for his dad????

Ok Alex and his friends are kind of dicks

Ooh Alex is challenging the pastor dude who is teaching religious history i assume

Nigel is looking at him like hes kinda in love

HOOOO CHECK AND MATE. GET REKT PASTOR DUDE

Lmaooo Nigel keeps dead things in jars. He has a big thing of formaldehyde hanging up lmaoooo

You know what i actually kind of agree with Alex. I mean thats p reasonable

(The Headmaster (who seems to be fond of Alex) sees Nigels collection of dead animals and is trying to justify why Nigel is there and allowed to stay. Alex is the first quote)

"He's a part of your club and nobody else wanted him so youre doing the 'brotherly' thing. Yeah well does my future depend on that?"

"Thats enough-"

"No, you dont give a fuck about me or this guy the only thing that you care about-"

"Thats enough!"

"-is the amount of kudos his father's-

"I said enough!"

"No, which is fine, but just dont give me the 'brotherhood' bullshit."

Then the headmaster slaps him and is like 'This boy will be made welcome' and walks out lol

Oooh theres Nigel

Lmao he walks in, slides in behind Alex, grabs his notebook off the desk and walks out, visibly amused.

Jfc Nigel is making psychological notes on Alex and his friends

"This little shit needs to be taught a lesson"

Alex's friend, Josh, is a pos. He just made a literal Nazi joke. To Alex's credit he tells him to knock it off

At least one of his friends has 2 braincells.

Are they straight up chloroforming Nigel??? Wtf

They dragged him onto the train unconscious

Oh shit Alex is like holding him outside of the door while the steel beams to the side are rushing past them. Nigel seems out of it tbh cause hes not freaking out

Josh is lighting firecrackers and tossing them out of the train and he dropped one and freaked so Alex and Nigel got back in. Nigel went to walk away and Alex pushed him up against the wall like 'Where do you think youre going??'. Nigel just spit in Alex's face and Alex punched Nigel

Oooooohhhh shit Alex leaned Nigel out of the door again and Josh started freaking out and told him to let Nigel go and the handle Josh was holding onto the train with BROKE

Oh shit Nigel just let him fall

Like he straight up waved his hand over Josh's hand to taunt him i guess and he got sucked out of the train wtf

I feel like the thing to keep in mind here is all of this is being told by Alex and hes Not a reliable narrator

WAIT THE HEADMASTER IS ALEX'S FATHER???

Oh yeah Alex is an unreliable narrator for SURE. Besides some fondness there was 0 mention of him being Alex's father. Or maybe im just dumb which is entirely possible. Likely, in fact.

Lmao Nigel staring at Alex like a freak at Josh's funeral until his dad nudges him like 'Knock it off'

Alex's dad eyeing Nigel as he walks away

Alex and Nigel arent roommates anymore

Nigel reading basically smut in front of class (in front of Alex 😏😏) classy smut im sure but still

Alex is watching rehearsals of the play and Nigel comes up super close like 'sorry about ur friend' and is kinda. Creepy and morbid about it. Which tracks

I think its interesting that TS's facial expressions and delivery here is SO reminiscent of his role as Dream. Ive seen him make these EXACT expressions in The Sandman while talking. Its odd seeing them on a younger face tho (not in a bad way)

Oh my god Alex just got a human hand in a package. 3 guesses as to who its from? (I assume. I dont actually know. Im not gonna do my boy Nigel dirty like that)

Alex vomited and hes telling Sally that when he got back it was gone

Nigel comes into Alex's room, gives him some papers to help with his essay while Alex is yellimg at him to get out and leaves lmaoooo

My boy Nigel doesnt deserve the slander 😤😤

"How did he know i was struggling with my essay?" Youre a dumbass and hes smart

"How did he know my topic?" Idk maybe if you made an effort to know him youd find out. Im sure Nigel can be charming when he wants to be but hes not gonna be on guard 24/7 so you got to see the spooky shit hes into when you were roommates

"I mean he had answers to questions i hadnt even thought of yet." Omg could Nigel be... Smart?? Impossible. Only idiots study anatomy and dissect things. 🙄 CMON ALEX

Jfc Alex you are dramatic as hell. Hes comparing using Nigels notes to 'selling his soul'. Just get the easy A my guy

Me every time Nigel comes on screen: 🥰🥰🥰

Nigel and the dog im DECEASED

The dog doesn't like ALEX oooooo

Dogs know who you really are 🧐🧐🧐

"I've never brought anybody here before. You're the first. Okay? First."

Nigel just wants to be friends 😭😭 he brought Alex to his hideout and the first thing he asks is 'Do you like it?' 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh jfc Nigel is as crazy as Alex

God that LOOK he gives when Alex is flipping through the book. You cannot convince me Nigel isn't in love with Alex

"An implement for killing. That's what I am." N I G E L

Jesus. Alex thinks Nigel is in his head.

Alex just asked a girl (Susan) out on a date and Nigel came up afterward all friendly and tried to give him a book and Alex completely cut him off

Poor Nigel :(

Ok also poor Alex but i don't feel as bad for him cos hes an ass

Holy shit did Nigel kill someone?? Alex woke up and someone threw a knife on his desk stuck to a Jack playing card with blood

Oh my god its Susan (that girl Alex was gonna go on that date with)

Nigel this doesnt look good for you buddy

Nobody's accusing him but she was kinda.... dissected. Its pretty graphic if you watch this movie just be aware

Oh shit she was in the school greenhouse

I think Alex did it. Hear me out. Hes the one telling this story. If he did it, hes gonna tell the story in a way that makes Nigel look bad. Nigel, conveniently enough, cannot say anything otherwise. Cause he's dead. I think at the very least he did kill Nigel but telling the story this way makes him the hero for killing the big bad serial killer.

Ok back to the movie the knife and the card are gone from his desk and Alex is looking for Nigel.

Now the detective is getting statements from all the students who saw Susan before she was killed

Oooooh Alex got caught in a lie

'Ooh I sense some hostility' just kiss him already JESUS

OH SHIT. Nigel is remorseful about what happened and Alex was like 'You did it. Didn't you?' And Nigel says 'No, Jack. You did.'

(Jack is a nickname. It's explained in the movie i just don't feel like rehashing it sorry)

Alex punched him

"Well im sorry Jack but you were the one who got inside my head." OHHHHH FOLIE A DEUX

Nigel: You can fix him? I can make him worse <3

And we love him for it

Something something criticism of upper class structures (see: quote above about 'brotherhood'), parents being not involved in their kids lives and not seeing obvious signs of mental illness due to that (Nigel's... everything and Alex's authority issues, sense of grandeur and family issues)

This scene is where Alex's dad tries to get the detective to drop the charges and tries to use his connections to the detectives father to do so but he refuses to drop it.

Oh shit apparently theres no evidence Nigel did anything to Susan

Also apparently the detectives cant find Nigels parents so 🤨

Hmmm

Sally is gonna look at Nigels hideout

Damn Nigel had a TON of notebooks

Oh SHIT Nigel had photos of a sleeping girl

Nigel its really hard to defend this i hope you know that

Oh fuck theres a dead body under Nigels house

Apparently 2??

ALEX DID IT. FINAL ANSWER.

Nigel showed Alex the hideout!! Alex was the FIRST and ONLY person (besides Nigel) who knew about it!!! The bodies were fresh!!!! Alex did it. Nigel my babe ill defend you to the death Alex is a psycho

Its ride or die for Nigel Colbie in this house

Aww Nigel introduced Alex to his parents

"Helen and John, this is my best friend Alex. Hes working on the play." Oh yah rich ppl are fucked up. Imagine introducing your parents to your friend by their FIRST NAMES 🤮

Ooh he just read Nigels bible

Nigel thinks hes directly descended from the Knights Templar

See, Alex seems to be reading this like it's his first time seeing all of it. But HE BROUGHT IT UP FIRST. In that class with the pastor earlier. Nigel was watching him. This was right before Nigel started pursuing him (and i don't think this was how it happened. Hold on i'll talk about it later. I think Alex went after Nigel. And I've seen other people think this as well)

Alex's mother died while giving birth to him and he told his father that her death was his fault since he got her pregnant 😬

Oh god

Ok so

Sally found a card that said 'My beloved Maraclea' and Alex is telling her who Maraclea is

Maraclea was the lover of a knights templar in the 13th century who died and the knights templar. Uh. Had sex with her dead body. And basically 9 months later he goes back and her skull is moved from her shoulders to on top of her thigh bones which are crossed. He has to protect the skull bcs itll give them grest fortune or whatever

While hes telling her this theres a flashback to Nigel and Alex meeting up at night and uh. Theyre in a morgue.

I dont like where this is going 😣

Oh fuck its Susan

Is. Is Alex gonna necrophile Susans body

Did he do it???

Hes saying Nigel took him there to basically recreate the whole Maraclea thing but its ambiguous as to if he actually did it

Holy shit thats fucked up

So Alex is watching through the window

Nigels father found those photos that Sally found and. Um. I think those are of Nigels mother actually.

Implied incest/CSA warning (im gonna italicize it. Skip the italicized part. Nothing graphic and not even really explicitly abuse but theres an accusation being made basically. CSA bcs Nigel is 17)

Nigel is in his bed and so is his mother. Shes in a slip and hes in pajamas and his father is holding a gun and yelling and basically accusing them of sleeping together (tho Nigel is 17 and also thats his mother so uh. Yeah.)

Tbf it only incidentally looks like that and she claims they were just talking. But also i have no reason to trust her so uh. Yeah.

Oh my god

Nigels father just shot his mother right next to him.

Holy fuck.

Alex came in and grabbed the gun and asked Nigel what hes done and Nigel said she was 'chosen'

Alex points the gun at Nigel and Nigels dad gets in between them and is shot by Alex

Oh my god wtf

'Ill have my Maraclea' What. In the actual. Fuck.

And he just. Casually dumps his fathers organs into the fire.

"Dont you think they're gonna be missed?"

"Well as long as they dont find her nine months it doesnt really matter, does it?"

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Nigel i cant defend this.

Oh god Alex did it too with Susan

Tom Sturridge angry with a shotgun is something i didnt know i needed but im glad i have it

Oh shit they both did it

Nigel used Alex to kill himself

Holy shit

Alex had the shotgun pointed at Nigel and Nigel is very obviously upset and doesnt understand why Alex thinks hes the crazy one.

He told Alex to pray for him, reached up and pulled the trigger while Alex was holding the gun

ALEX WALKED????

HOLY SHIT ALEX IS MAKING HIS OWN BIBLE

HE LEFT AN ENVELOPE ON SALLYS CAR AND IN IT THERES A JACK CARD THAT SAYS 'MY BELOVED SUSAN'

Holy fuck he broke into Susans tomb and took her skull

Holy shit hes doing the same thing Nigel did to him to someone else

Roll credits

Ok ok ok wow so um.

I dont think Nigel did it

Well ok. I think the truth is somwhere in the middle. Alex is putting a lot of blame on Nigel for someone who may or may not have killed 2 people to Nigel's 1

God its so hard to collect my thoughts about this film. Also its like 2 am so uh. That doesnt help.

I think Alex had a more dominant role than he let on. Also considering how quick he was to pick up the mantle, idk. I just know while watching this i was surprised by how much Alex killed even as Nigel called himself an instrument for killing. All Nigel did that we know for certain was let a kid fall out of a train. Alex straight up shot Nigels father.

Nigel is more quiet and reclusive and morbid and Alex is more intelligent and outgoing.

Of course Alex makes a point to emphasize how morbid Nigel is and ive already pointed out how i think Alex is an unreliable narrator. Alex is smart. He knew how he needed to tell the story and he succeeded. He got off scot free.

Unfortunately i dont think Nigel would have been able to do that. Nigel was smart but not as smart as Alex. He would have slipped up

So what happened to Susan? I keep going back and forth on this. I think it could go either way. But i hate to say it. I think Nigel did it. This whole thing kinda goes back to the Maraclea thing and Nigel knew about it already. So he kills Susan and guts her so Alex has his Maraclea and he goads his father into killing his mother so he 🤮 has... his...

Basically i think Nigel is more evil but Alex had a bigger part than he lets on

Its v v complicated. Or its just 2 am idk. (respectfully) Leave your thoughts if you feel so inclined

Oh my god he said Alex killed her because in Nigels mind he chose Susan as his Maraclea oh good lord

(But Nigel is pretty and fictional so we'll give him a pass)

Im definitely rewatching this at some point. Its actually really good

Ok thats all lol bye im gonna go see if theres Like Minds fanfic

#tom sturridge #like minds #eddie redmayne #murderous intent #tw necrophillia #like. its kinda In There so uh. yeah

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guideaus · 1 year

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stampede ep 5 thoughts pt. 1 i guess

WAS THAT REALLY WOLFWOOD'S OLD VA???

i kinda like theyre putting more abt the plant worshippers. in the manga that cult just seemed to be solely an explanation for wolfwood and livio's upbringing, i remember i desperately wanted worldbuilding, but that was about it... not that i expect too much more here

i kinda wanna say smth abt vash being shown sleeping so much, either its an original performative "im not awake, go talk abt whatever serious thing u want" w one eye open, or maybe its him being exhausted from previous events, or maybe it doesnt mean anything idk (which i'd hate). i'd say wolfwood would absolutely be the one to play dead in a fake way, but idk abt this wolfwood yet.

i guess the cult also being located in july sets up livio/others potentially being there?

roberto being a bit more playful, but hes also setting up the ep's conflict i think so :/ again i cant help but think how does he know this

meryl is once again a bad driver in an empty desert

wolfwood's either been let in on the gang (vash)'s issues w knives, or he's just being way too blunt

the animation is nice as always

i just now realized it, but i dont think stampede has ever said why vash is so pacifistic?? obviously no normal person wants to kill anyone, but i think most ppl would understand for a normal case of self defense, not to mention the wacky version of whats going on here. im not sure why theyre holding out on that, or hopefully they will share

its been 5 eps and theyre not very far from jenora's rock (the setting of the first ep), idk how theyre gonna get to july within 12 eps at this pace

hate meryl being useless. in the 2nd ep she at least provided some support

it also doesnt give a reason for wolfwood helping vash (its clearly not friendship)

wolfwood's also got the super perceptive thing going on, so of the main characters, vash purposely is obfuscates, and meryl... is clueless uwu girl, so im wondering if stampede just has an incredibly bad case of telling instead of showing

stampede kind of repeats stuff from the original anime/manga, but doesnt give a reason why. there was a crazy depiction of vash in ep 1, but they never showed any reason for that (while i always disagreed w it in the first place bc his bounty is the key thing causing ppl to wreak havoc trying to get him, i thought originally it was going to be given to him bc he trespassed trying to interact w plants or smth). theres never been a reason shown for him to be called vash the stampede or the humanoid typhoon, it could lead to the revelation of it in this ep, but...

that flashback was kind of weird lmao. i expected more to happen, idk what changed within that short amount of time showing vash and that kid interacting for the kid to go "ok, sure, i'll go back to my village and willingly get sacrificed :)" and its not like vash gave him some out of context advice the kid wrongly misunderstood to interpret as "I should sacrifice myself"

the "if god wont save you, i will" line also felt out of nowhere considering all that happened was vash said his mom sent him to look for him, the kid recognized him as vash the stampede, said he's going to die young bc his sickness, and then seemingly became ok with getting sacrificed before then. i understand theyre giving vash a savior complex (that im not sure was present before..? like obviously hes mr. pacifist, but idk if he ever willingly likened himself to god lol??)

they put conrad with the cult group...

not a fan of how the flashbacks are presented against the current time

and wtf was the group even doing w rollo lmao. turned him into action figure material and then let him loose again lol??

why are meryl and roberto just exploring random buildings instead of trying to help vash...

i wanna say the vash + baby photo is cute, but also im like that implies vash didnt just randomly get saddled w a rescue mission job for a child he just met. how did he not know that town was fucked up then lol

the photo of him looking the exact same (i dont mean age, i mean clothes/hair) reminds me that i wish the characters changes their models in some way

i dont get whats up w rollo, did the cult just experiment on him and let him loose and vash happened to stroll in and he took it out on him, is he attacking as revenge for vash not saving him, is he just a mindless monster?? nothing is really... understandable for some reason

again its reminding me idk wtf stampede is doing concerning the gung ho guns. are they not formally organized here, or not in a group at all... the previous ep's mention by knives abt the gate doesnt mean anything w/o knowing the 90s anime or manga, so here it doesnt mean anything yet...

NOOOO NOT THE KILL WOLFWOOD JUICE NOOOOOOO

i am not sure why whoever at orange chose this moment to have wolfwood do his classic "goes against vash's wishes and kills someone" moment. i think in the manga he did it first w the samurai guy and it was a moment where he stood down, vash turned his back and walked away, and samurai guy was in the middle of doing his super special anime move, and wolfwood said nope. then the anime i think he did it very late and it was w zazie. there i think it was more too that he shot a kid fjhsdjsksds. but here its like... way too early for that. the manga relatively was, but ww had a full volume w vash at that point, and his pre maximum stuff, here in stampede i think that'd just warrant vash telling him to get away from him. ww has done nothing in stampede to solidify his position with vash, in fact doing, something completely against his wishes would earn his hate i think. it wasnt framed as ww showed up and thought vash was going to die, it wasnt a moment where ww saved vash instead of rollo, it wasnt as urgent as zazie or the samurai guy's actions. frankly, i think if they just flat out stole the anime's "legato forces chapel to attack wolfwood after ww shows mercy" v mogami mp100 minori style, that wouldve been more convincing, but... yeah i dont see why that happened lol

ive already seen the manga and anime, so i forgot again, but i think ww probably just seems like an asshole at this point. the previous ep portraying him as a complete liar is v bad for his character, then w him killing someone vash didnt want dead, that makes it worse. ww being the one to call out vash's conflicting ideologies doesnt work here either bc he doesnt have a role of friend yet, he's just someone who heard vash's story, then tried to tell him he's messed up when ww was the one who shot rollo in his least aggressive state. if i was vash, there's no way i'd listen to some guy i just met thats acting superior

the topic of ww killing whoever (rollo in this case) also is different because wolfwood's excuse isnt out of concern for vash this time. zazie or the samurai were potentially about to kill vash, and wolfwood intervened citing his "its us or them" mentality, which vash argues with bc of his skill in avoiding harming others. ww's recognition of vash's skills also lead to his later point that he cant afford to go about life like that since he is human. but the 90s anime and manga that moment was significant bc it highlighted vash's inherited ideals (at least in the anime if i remember right, im not sure if the manga went as hard abt it) from rem abt people's potential for change. stampede also had meryl call vash a coward instead of wolfwood... which is then used for vash to call out nick's behavior in acting in a way that's not true to himself. so idk all in all, it felt like it repeatedly took moments from the original, but in a way where none of it made sense.

#personal #trigun stampede spoilers #me talking about wolfwood here is me going back and forth on spelling his full name out of not

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lusciouslii · 2 years

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actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

#also WOW i pray he doesnt somehow find this #he doesnt have my tumblr #but it wouldnt be too hard to figure out from what he does have

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ganondoodle · 9 days

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Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

#ganondoodles answers #ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #adding this to that bc i .. ranted again #you ask for a pebble and get a landslide #my rambling mouth could never shut up #also dont apologize pls #i might not always answer but you have my permission to rant into my inbox #i often feel alone in my rants like its just my own brainrot taking hold

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kingscanyon · 1 month

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hey, sorry for disappearing again. 24 has been hitting me like a truck. i havent had time to myself or to write much of anything let alone make gifs :(. that being said though, new wyll set in the morning/early afternoon and new tav (maybe) below the cut ^-^

idk their deal yet, they're just pretty idk. i downloaded a save file that had a human tav loaded up to a lot of key romance scenes for people that want to get clips and photos and i wanted to see all of the new kiss animations but i didnt want it to be calpurnia for.. reasons ig. idk lol. to ME they give dickhead sword for hire vibes. not really evil or anything just kind of rough around the edges IDK

also got these lys reactions from the post-araj scene with astarion and lemme tell u, when i find him, he is BONES, baby, bc look at herrr :( (also if u couldn't tell yet: i am obsessed w hearts' heads)

and bc she is my number one son, here's purn <33

i dont rlly have a definitive say of when i want to start regularly posting again bc i truly dont know, in case u didnt know im the only one in my household with a car and we also live in the middle of bumfuck NOWHERE, so im driving everywhere for everyone almost every single day of the week. im doing mentally/emotionally okay though, i just havent been able to be on tumblr specifically very much (or my pc.) i get done with the run-arounds for the day and i am lucky if i am able to catch wrestling or get a couple of ow games in or w/e. also admittedly it hasn't been just since march, i'd say late october was more like it. the time managment thing is what has gotten worse.

see yall soon, gifs will come at ya whenever i feel like they're not too uggo to post <33

ps. almost forgot abt kasdeya. i should never do That, she might bite me (i'd let her)

also quick moodboard ft my actual son <3

#k speaks #i felt awful originally when i didn't finish posting during wyllweek and i think i spiralled a lil bit then crashed after the olivia concer #so THATS why there hasn't been updates for anything bc i'll admit fully that there's four or three nearly finished things ready to almost g #also i want to make a new twt specifically for bg3 or vidya game posting bc i have a lot for hhn moots on twt and i feel so awkward #subjecting them to bg3 posting. wrestling is fine bc they intersect a lot but idk yet. :)#also im muting this as it gets scheduled bc i will delete if i look upon it after it gets fully posted.

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fivegaze · 1 year

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3.31

mm heres what i did today- i added the combo system (where you have to follow the key sequence on screen to add damage to your attack), fixed what was wrong with it (i kept trying to access the scene variables not realizing that with an additive scene there would be two science variables objects and it was trying to pull from the wrong one.) when that stopped being broken (aka i just plopped the whole thing into the same scene which felt like an anticlimactic solution but hey) i finally fit it into the state machine. it's not fully functional yet, but when i sat down they weren't even connected at all

there she is! my incredibly janky combo system. please ignore the way everything just stacks on top of each other that's not. staying there i am going to animate it. none of these ui graphics aside from the menu buttons and text choices are final btw i am not leaving those govt street sign ass arrows in there.

this is what the state machine looks like for the combo system :] i called it combo crusher <3 i always worry that my state machines look really janky and cluttered but i guess that doesn't matter as much as if it's working lol. ummm one day i'll learn C# (and html because god lmao) but for now it's just me and my little visual scripting machines against Da World.

the second pic here is how i'm currently detecting input which feels silly to me but there's no event block for "any key down" just this one so that's what i'm doing for now. my blatant abuse of on update is what got me into such a Freaking pickle with something's on the station. fun fact that game is Not built with fungus like space case and the VN scenes for soul squad. i wanted to do it myself and i spent so long building a prototype for UI that i didn't even end up using at all that by the time it was time to plug in the dialogue i didnt really have a lot of time to work the system out. so it's just the world's worst dialogue system. do you wanna see it it's SO bad

i can't even fit it into one screenshot. every time you click the "advance dialogue" button it checks to see if you're on the last line and if not it's like okay what line ARE you on then. at which point it pulls from a list of every voice line (unlabeled and barely organized btw) and corresponding dialogue line which is, like, fine, okay, whatever, and ALSO,

IT'S CHECKING WHAT LINE YOU'RE ON EVERY FRAME and just going through a giant if/else chain to make sure the right characters are active. also on every frame it's updating the text color, just in case. also sometimes more than one character is active and it just completely breaks the color coded character text. like okay this could definitely be worse but it sure could be better. i'm being overly self-critical bc i'm an annoying perfectionist (to the incredible detriment of my wellbeing and productivity, obviously) so the fact that it was all completed during a semester gives me SO much room to self-crit. i'm still really proud of it even though i ran out of time to bugfix and i didn't have time to level any of the audio or clean up any of the voice lines. (seriously though this is me being proud of something i make i just don't know how to not like pick my work apart. /neutral.)

anyway this is supposed to be a soul squad update so let's move on from that

this is the turn system btw! combo crusher is brand new. i already have a (time consuming) move selection set up which is irritating bc i'm gonna have to go in and undo everything so i can add a new movelist but i'm moving that out of the priority spotlight(tm) because um my (writing) scripts are NOT done and i need them to be done. cheers and light and love this is gonna be such a meaty github upload im pumped. i love writing myself little devlogs for me and me only. like a little treat

anyway that's all i did today besides go to an extremely short job interview which was cool. i really hope i get the job because i would like to be able to afford rent :D

#soul squad #dev diary #im not going to make a sots tag bc i dont really intend to talk about it very much. maybe if i go back and clean it but probably not

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ultraferal · 2 years

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didnt evan say something about how he’s changed so much since the crime and is so mature and grown up now and we should all just find it in our hearts to forgive him bc we’re mean bullies ... yet he’s still making friends with teens and little kids on anime apps and cant even hold a job... trying to lie and convince people the chargers were dropped (I guess??? lol???) it’s a wonder his family is actually supporting him still I wish his mom saw how badly he's just taking all her support and tolerance and pissing on it

seeing and watching evan on this hello kitty app has been really really shown me how he has really lost his mind in believing he is the real victim. the law doesn’t apply to him, because he did nothing wrong. him blatantly befriending YOUNG CHILDREN, 11 years old, the same age as the victim who brought this case forward. his lack of remorse and narcissism, only caring for himself even after admitting he committed the crimes to the victim. the damning evidence. this is not a “he said she said” case, its a he did it, and thats the end of it. then he goes to say i set him up, im this vengeful ex of his who created all these messages of him confessing to the crime. the victim is a liar, she just wants revenge too. insulting her and continuing to disregard everyday the suffering he put her and so many others through. his ego keeps him from taking accountability for ANYTHING. in his heart of hearts he believes its him against the world.

also his mom did know he was funneling in vulnerable trans minors escaping abusive households to live in their basement, and she approved it, making them pay upwards to 600-800 a month to live in a disgusting dark rancid basement. she is absolutely complicit to the crime concerning the victim who brought this case forward. she obviously looked like a child, barely looking 10, and he told his mom that she was 17…… she had to have known. again and again did he bring minors to live there. her “support” was her supporting his pedophilla by turning a blind eye from the obvious signs. meeting her in person, i will say she is a kind lady on the outside but all these actions proving otherwise and the taking advantage of these innocent vulnerable mentally ill trans kids. evan learned it from someone, and i know it had to have come from her. if anything i feel sad for his siblings. his mom, sadly i do not care for it. she is just as guilty.

not to mention.. how does his family not see him CLEARLY breaking house arrest rules and not care to stop him from himself, to not make things worse. unless he is somehow this very sneaky predator who’s family is actually really oblivious to the deeper hole he is digging himself in. his sister has seen my tumblr before and i hope if she ever sees this to PLEASE save him from himself and take away the phone. there is so much incriminating evidence against him proving he is breaking house arrest by talking with children. if they really care for him for the love of god, TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!

#SAVE HIM… LIKE REALLY REALLY #i cant imagine him being my brother and watching him just absolutely destroy any chance he had of getting out of jail

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yoon-kooks · 3 years

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Hot Ones | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff, (almost) smut, fwb!au, studio!au, inspired by the hot ones

Summary: When a suspicious package shows up at your studio door with Jeon Jungkook’s name on it, your chill weekend quickly turns into a hot one.

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: kinda sexual :/

A/N: so i kind of wrote half of this during my hot ones phase aka last year & the rest of it was written this past week lol

Chill weekends at the studio are always your favorite because you can do whatever you want. If you’re feeling inspired to write, you have all the equipment right at your fingertips. If not, it’s no biggie. There are a million ways you can amuse yourself in the BigHit building. After all, aside from Yoongi, who practically lives in his studio next door, the building is a ghost town you like to think you’re the mayor of.

Today, you’re presented with a mysterious package with Jeon Jungkook’s name on it. Believe it or not, it isn’t unusual for the boy’s impulsive online orders to show up at your doorstep. He claims it’s “safer” than having it delivered directly to his own dorm. You don’t quite understand the logic, but it gives you the vibes of a hormone-driven teen hiding condoms from his parents.

And although a wild box of condoms does pop up from time to time, that’s usually not the case. More often than not, it’s new equipment to add to Producer Jeon’s growing stash in the corner of your studio.

If that’s the case, you’d love to get your paws on it and try it out first.

[11:01AM] Y/N🍑 “hey jeon, a package came. is it the equipment you ordered the other day?”

[11:02AM] Y/N🍑 “if so, can i open it? 👼”

[11:02AM] Y/N🍑 “asking for a friend”

[11:04AM] Jeon PD “Tell your friend not to open it!!”

[11:05AM] Jeon PD “And tell them to wait for me. I’m still in the shower.”

[11:06AM] Y/N🍑 “you text in the shower? pics or it didnt happen 🧐”

[11:06AM] Y/N🍑 “again, asking for a friend. the same friend lol”

[11:09AM] Jeon PD “Whoops, too late.”

[11:10AM] Jeon PD “omw”

You pick up the box, hold it up to your ear, and shake it around. Whatever it is, it’s heavy and potentially breakable. But the fact that Jungkook refuses to let you open it only adds to your brewing curiosity.

By your calculations, it takes the boy approximately twenty minutes to commute to the BigHit building. With twenty whole minutes, you could play around with some beats or even watch a mukbang to pass the time more quickly.

Instead, you choose to blink at the package for the entire twenty minutes. When there’s still no sign of Jungkook, you start to get a little impatient.

[11:30AM] Y/N🍑 “im gonna open it lol”

[11:31AM] Jeon PD “Just hold on jfc”

[11:32AM] Jeon PD “I made a little detour that you won’t be upset about”

[11:33AM] Y/N🍑 “😳”

[11:33AM] Y/N🍑 “ok,,, dont disappoint me, jeon 🥺”

You’re certainly not disappointed when you open the door ten minutes later to hot wings, banana milk, and a stud of a delivery boy. Jungkook doesn’t always visit your studio on the weekend, but when he does, you find yourself infinitely more attracted to him. Because who doesn’t love a thoughtful boy who rushes out of the shower to bring you lunch and good company?

After setting the lunch down on the piano bench, you pull the boy inside and lock the door behind him. His lips don’t waste a second, planting a trail of desperate kisses from your collarbone and up your neck to your cheek. As he does so, you run your fingers through his long and damp locks, intoxicating yourself with the sugar and spice of his cologne shampoo.

“Is this my hoodie?” he asks after finally giving your skin some room to breathe. He tugs to the hem as if he needs it off your body now. It is indeed his hoodie, but you aren’t ready to give it back just yet.

With his cherry lips free, you tease him with a quick and innocent peck before switching gears. “Sex is great and all, but can we play with the new studio equipment first?”

“It’s not equipment,” he chuckles at the little sparkle that glistens in your eyes when it comes to anything related to music production. The sparkles disappears when you realize you’ve been baited.

“What a letdown,” you sigh, handing off the package to its actual owner.

“Hey, it might not be the auxiliary cord you hoped for, but it’s still something that’ll spice up this studio.” Jungkook rips the box in half with one easy tug.

“Oh?” You perk up once more to give the mysterious package the benefit of the doubt. After all, you do love an extra spicy studio session.

But to your surprise, the boy pulls out a box of five glass bottles decorated in flames, ghosts, and hot peppers.

“You got all excited over hot sauce?” you laugh, inspecting the box further to find the names of the flavors listed: Los Calientes, Brain Burner, Da Bomb, Widow Maker, and The Last Dab. “Sounds kind of intense. Are you dipping the wings in these?”

“We both are,” the boy says.

“Hey wait, I never agreed to any of this, Jeon,” you cross your arms. You’ve seen the Youtube videos and the memes. You’ve witnessed the chaos and damage done by these infamous hot sauces. And while it’s hilarious to watch from the comfort of your own home, you have never once desired to be in the hot seat yourself. “I’ll gladly watch you suffer, but what’s the fun in setting my own mouth on fire?”

“There’s a lot riding on this challenge.” Jeon Jungkook always loves a good challenge, and he knows you have a competitive streak of your own.

“Like what?” You shouldn’t have asked.

“Bragging rights?” he smirks. “Punishments?”

“Okay, I’m in,” your naughty side speaks for you. You certainly can’t pass up the punishment of having Jungkook buy you all the studio equipment and hoodies in the world when he loses. “What are the rules?”

“We’ll go five rounds, one for each sauce.” The boy starts lining the sauces up in order of increasing spice levels according to the Scoville scale. Then he brings the jug of banana milk to the table. “Before each round, we’ll propose a punishment for each other. If you can’t finish the wing or need to wash it down with some banana milk, you’ll be forced to take the punishment as well.”

The challenge itself sounds like a punishment, but if it means making the boy happy and having a good time, you suppose you can trade in your chill weekend for a hot one.

Round One: Los Calientes

“This one doesn’t seem like it’ll be too bad,” you say, examining the label on the first bottle. Jalapenos, habaneros, and some fruity flavors in the mix. If you can’t handle this one, you’re surely fucked for the rest of the rounds.

“This is just a warm-up.” Jungkook pours out some sauce in a dish for you to share. “Name your punishment.”

As much as you want to work on your hoodie and studio equipment collections, maybe you’ll lower the stakes for the first round and hit him with the hard stuff later on. Besides, there’s something priceless to gain out of the boy.

“I want you to stay at the studio with me for the rest of the day.”

“That’s not really a punishment,” he chuckles at your wholesome request. “But it’s too late to change it now.”

“That’s fine.” It’s definitely more of an invitation than a punishment. One that you’d never regret. He’s your closest guy friend, after all. “What’s your punishment for me?”

Perhaps he’ll take it easy on you like you had for him. Or not.

“I want you to get on your hands and knees for me,” he laughs it off, though you know there’s a hint of genuine desire for dominance. “And call me Dad. Not Daddy, just Dad.”

“That’s dirty, Jeon.” You narrow your eyes at him. He knows you’re not the submissive type. Especially not around him. You do laugh at his dumb dad joke, though.

After taking the first bite, you feel pretty good about yourself. As expected, the sauce isn’t terrible. And even if it was, there’s no world in which you take a sip of your banana milk in this round. You refuse to show that submissive side to him. At least for now. So you finish your first wing unscathed.

Jungkook, on the other hand, throws in the towel right away. Not because the sauce is too hot for him to handle, but because of your “punishment.” By sipping down his banana milk, you take it he accepts your invitation to spend the rest of the day with you.

“How romantic.” You say it with as much sarcasm as possible, but deep down, your heart is exploding over how sweet of a boyfriend Jungkook would make.

Round Two: Brain Burner

“Why do you suppose it’s called ‘Brain Burner’…?” You don’t like the sound of that. If hot sauces could induce headaches, this would probably be the one to do it.

“My theory is that it’s going to burn our brains.” Jungkook takes a whiff of the sauce and scrunches his nose by reflex.

“That’s a 9000 IQ theory you got there,” you say with a straight face. “But I think it already burned yours.”

“Haha, very funny, Y/N,” he says as he prepares the next set of wings. “By the way, I’m going to need you to return that hoodie you’re wearing.”

“Is that your punishment for me?” You’re offended. Not only because he has the audacity to ask for his own sweatshirt that you stole from him, but also because you know that he knows you like to wear the bare minimum beneath his hoodies on warm days. “Fine, then I want you to strip down to your boxers.” Because it’s essentially the same punishment.

Forget the studio equipment. You’re going to fight fire with fire.

As soon as you take the first bite, you make a face. Those Carolina Reaper peppers are no joke. Maybe it’s because you didn’t have a chance to cleanse your palate and the spice carried over from round one, but you’re definitely feeling some type of pain flooding throughout your entire head.

You glance over to Jungkook, who chomps his way through and wipes the bone clean. Perhaps you shouldn’t have gone so easy on the little shit in the previous round. Because now you’re the one who’s fucked.

You hate the thought of being driven into a corner, forced to weigh your options: hoodie & pain or banana milk & strip. In all honestly, stripping doesn’t sound too bad right now. Not when the alternative is a literal fireball burning from within your skull. Besides, it’s not like it’s the first time the boy’s seen your bare skin.

So you pull the hoodie off over your head, chuck it at Jungkook’s smirking face, and take a long sip of banana milk in your lacy lingerie and daisy dukes.

“Pretty,” is all the naughty boy has to say for himself as he shamelessly stares at your chest. Yep, the sauce definitely burned his brain. And you’re going to use that to your advantage.

You casually take a seat in his lap and wrap your legs around his lower back and your arms around his neck. You make sure as much of your skin is pressed up against him as possible. Naturally, he has a good handle on your hips to keep you there.

“Can I have the hoodie back?” You flutter your eyes and use your tongue to bring attention to your ruby red lips. The hot sauce reddened and plumped them up just enough to the boy’s liking. “Please, Jeon?”

As Jungkook tucks your hair behind your ear and narrows in, you take the opportunity slide your hands against the new hoodie he’s wearing, another prize you’d like to get your paws on. However, the moment you slip your fingers beneath his hoodie, he stops you in your tracks.

“Nice try, Y/N,” he whispers in your ear, sending micro chills down your spine. “But if you want my hoodies that badly, you’re gonna have to earn them in another round.”

“Fine, fine.” You kiss the palm of your hand and pat it against the boy’s cheek for a nice lipstick stain. He could’ve had so much more if he just let you have the dang hoodie. But that’s his loss.

Round Three: Da Bomb

“Oh, I’ve heard some bad things about this one,” you say, tossing the next bottle of hot sauce between your paws like it’s an actual bomb.

“Apparently, it’s a big jump in spice from the previous sauces,” Jungkook chuckles like the masochist he is.

“Jungkook.” The two of you freeze at the muffled voice coming from outside the studio. It sounds like Yoongi.

“Yeah?” Jungkook calls back.

“I need to borrow some equipment.”

“Oh… yeah, sure.” You watch the boy get up to open the door for his fellow member. However, you suddenly remember the lack of clothing on your body.

“Wait!” you whisper-shout to Jungkook. “Let me put on your hoodie first to cover up!”

“No way! You’re totally going to steal it again!” he whisper-shouts back. “Just hide under behind the couch. It’ll only be a minute anyway.”

“You’re the absolute worst, Jeon,” you mumble to yourself, crawling behind the couch just before the door opens.

“Is Y/N here, too?” Yoongi spots the messy hot wings area clearly set up for two. “I could’ve sworn I heard two people.”

“Oh, yeah… we were just in a Zoom meeting,” he fake laughs. Oh god, his fake laugh is terrible and blatantly obvious.

“Seriously? A Zoom meeting?” The older boy can’t believe it and neither can you. “You two should just date already.”

Wait. Maybe hiding behind the couch was a good idea after all. You’d love to hear what the guys say about you when you’re not around.

“Yeah, well, we’re not really like that,” Jungkook says. And he’s not wrong either.

“Does Y/N know about your feelings?” Who would’ve thought Yoongi would be the king of spilling the tea?

“No…” You do now. And you can’t stop smiling like an idiot. Thankfully, you’re hidden. It’d be terrible if your own feelings were exposed as well.

“I remember years ago when Y/N first joined the production team and you suddenly wanted me to teach you how-”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember,” Jungkook cuts off the teasing. “What equipment do you need?”

“Just some cables for the audio interface if you’re not using them,” Yoongi says, walking over to your workspace to unhook the cords.

“Take them. Today hasn’t been a very productive day anyway,” the younger one yawns. You suppose you won��t be getting any work done after your little hot sauce battle. Not that you’d be able to focus on work after hearing Jungkook’s confession.

On his way out, Yoongi pauses at the doorway. “By the way, you have some lipstick on your cheek,” he says. “But I’ll pretend like I didn’t notice.”

Busted.

As soon as Yoongi closes the door behind him, you crawl out of hiding and rejoin a shook Jungkook back at the bench of hot wings.

“You know he was just teasing me, right? Haha.” There goes that fake laugh again. You’ve never been so unconvinced in your entire life.

“I know what I heard, Jeon.”

“Well, unhear it.” Yeah, because that’s totally how the world works.

“I wouldn’t have heard it if you just gave me your hoodie in the first place,” you shrug.

“Okay, that’s fair,” the boy sighs. “Just pretend like you didn’t hear it… until you hear it from me.” Although he isn’t quite ready to fess up, he doesn’t deny his feelings either. It’s the same for you.

“Okay.” You give him a reassuring nudge. “Though I am curious as to what you wanted Yoongi to teach you when I was hired here.” You wouldn’t be surprised if it had something to do with his sex game. If so, you know who to address your Thank You letters to for raising a boy who knows exactly what he’s doing with his hands and mouth. Perhaps it was Yoongi who told Jungkook all the best spots to use his tongue when-

“It’s nothing dirty like you’re imagining,” Jungkook totally calls you out. You suppose this means the boy is just naturally talented in bed like he is with everything else. Not that you’re complaining. “It was just music production stuff.”

“All because you met me?” you tease. At the same time, you’re quite touched. Whether it was to impress you or have an excuse to spend time with you in the studio, you’re delighted that Jungkook made an effort to learn something you’re so passionate about. “That’s cute.”

“Whatever. Yoongi should’ve kept his mouth shut because now I decided to make him part of the next punishment,” the flustered boy says, scrambling to set up the next set of wings and sauce. “If you fail this round, you need to eat the next wing while moaning loud enough to piss Yoongi off.”

“Okay, but it’ll be a lot funnier if he hears you do it,” you snicker, agreeing on the same punishment.

The first bite of Da Bomb gets you thinking. You contemplate life and regret all of your life’s decisions. Especially this one. Your eyes begin to tear up, not from the regret but from the pure pain of 135,600 Scovilles. Other than that, you’re satisfied with the poker face you put up.

When you glance over at Jungkook, he too has tears streaming down his cheeks. If not for your clutch reminder, he would’ve burned an eyeball while wiping the tears away.

“Why are we doing this?” he laugh-cries and nearly chokes on the spice in the process.

“You have no one to blame but yourself at this point.” You point your half-eaten wing at the boy. Despite the fact that all hell is breaking loose in your mouth, you do kind of enjoy the rich savory flair of this one. In fact, you’re confident you can get through this round alive. “If you want to let out a nice loud moan right now, you can drink all the banana milk you want.”

“Y/N…” Jungkook whines as if the agreed upon punishment is suddenly too unfair. The neediness in his voice almost qualifies it as a proper moan, but you’ve heard better in the heat of sex. Your body does have that effect on him, after all.

He tries to reach for the jug of banana milk, but you put your hand on it first. “I don’t think our neighbor can hear you properly.”

“His walls are soundproof.”

“Then be a little louder?”

He pants and fans his tongue with his hand as he debates on whether to let you win or not. A few sweat droplets slide down his temples and give him a steamy glow. What a hot mess. A hot, hot mess that you have the luxury of teasing. For the first time since the game began, you’re glad you agreed to play.

You pour him a generous glass of banana milk and dangle it in front of him. “Well?”

Jungkook shakes his head at you but can’t seem to shake away the smile creeping up on him. The situation is getting out of hand, but he knows there’s no turning back now.

“Ahh…! Y/N…! Fuck.” The boy is so ridiculously loud that it catches you off-guard. In addition to Yoongi, you’re pretty sure the whole nation heard your name come out of Jeon Jungkook’s mouth.

“That’s definitely not what you sound like during the real thing,” you wheeze, half from Jungkook’s dramatic perform and half from the burning sensation lingering in your throat. “But I’ll let it slide if you let me take a sip of your milk.”

He nods and shakes your hand, almost aggressively. After coating your throat with the sweetness of the milk, you finally pass it over to Jungkook for a long overdue sense of relief. He chugs it down so fast it leaves an adorable milk mustache.

You scoot your ass closer to him, swipe your thumb across his lips, and proceed to lick it in the most provocative way possible. It’s supposed to be a joke, but the hint of lust in the boy’s eyes tell you the image has been burned into his memory.

You let him cup your chin in his hand as you continue to stare into his eyes. Of course you want to kiss the shit out of him, but it sounds like a painful experience with the flames still burning away inside both your mouth and his. Maybe it’s time to call a truce.

“Should we stop before our tongues burn off?” You raise your imaginary white flag in hopes that Jungkook will do the same. “It’d be a shame if you didn’t have your tongue to-”

“C’mon, Y/N, we only have two more. We need to try each sauce at least once,” he says, passing you the next challenge. “For the experience.”

You hate to admit it, but you do love experiencing new things with Jungkook, even if it’s another one of his dumb shenanigans. Because he could be spending his time with literally anyone else, and yet, he chooses you every time. And now that you think about it, that’s probably the real reason you’ve voluntarily set your mouth ablaze with no extinguisher in sight.

Round Four: Widow Maker

“’For the experience,’ he says,” you mumble to yourself while examining the label on the bottle. “Well guess what, Jungkook. This sauce is literally going to kill you.”

“What makes you say that?” He laughs because he doesn’t believe you.

“You think they were just fucking around when they named this sauce Widow Maker?”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow as if his brain’s desperately searching for an answer. If this sauce makes widows, then that means it kills husbands. And if you’re saying it’ll kill him, then that means…?

“So I’m your husband now.” He’s still unconvinced. The two of you aren’t even dating, after all.

“I think we should date before you refer to yourself as my husband.” The words slip out of your mouth before you realize what you’re implying. It doesn’t click until you see Jungkook’s mouth curve upward. “Wait, I mean — Never mind.”

“Y/N wants to date me?” Jungkook gasps, once again being overdramatic.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever you say.” You wave him off and start pouring the Widow Maker into the next dipping bowl because you’d apparently rather eat fire than elaborate on your feelings.

The smell is already burning your nose — a clear sign of the danger that lies ahead. In fact, you’re fairly certain there won’t be any winner for these next two rounds. Only a loser and perhaps a dead husband.

So you might as well pick a good punishment for Jungkook that you can benefit from.

“If you lose this round, you have to come try this new dessert café with me next time you’re free.” Of course, you could easily go on your own time, but you know Jungkook will want to tag along after seeing all the tempting options on the menu.

The boy nods, impressed by your civil gesture. “And if you lose, you have to come help me pick out some new studio equipment. Possibly on the same day as the dessert café.”

“That kind of sounds like a date,” you say as you dip your chicken into the tiniest amount of sauce. It’s not considered cheating if you plan to throw the round anyway. After all, you’d love any excuse to spend more time with him outside of work.

“You did say you wanted to date me a minute ago.” The boy loves to tease you, and he’s never going to let that go. Ever.

“I didn’t actually say that.” You take a nibble out of your chicken as Jungkook takes a huge bite of his. Hopefully, the Widow Maker will put him in his place.

“But you meant it, didn’t y-” The boy’s eyes widen, the biggest they’ve been all day. He doesn’t hesitate to reach for the banana milk and nearly knocks the whole jug down in the process. But despite his urgency, he’s somehow still enough of a gentleman to pour some into your glass first. Either that, or he’s highly aware that you’ve already accepted your fate in this challenge.

As you sip your banana milk, you watch Jungkook fight for his life against the Widow Maker. The banana milk doesn’t seem to be soothing the burn for him at this point, but he does laugh when your wing slips out of your saucy fingers and takes a plunge into your milk. You’d normally feel bad about wasting good food, but Jungkook’s laugh made it worth the sacrifice.

“Only you can make me laugh in my final moments, Y/N,” he says, clutching his heart and slumping over like the dramatic kid he is. “I don’t think I’ll make it to the Last Dab.”

He dabs weakly, and you pretend like you didn’t see anything. You’re more focused on encouraging the boy to see the challenge through to the bitter end. You still need to bestow the ultimate punishment onto him.

“Well, if you manage to survive and I lose this final round,” you pause to make sure you have his full attention, “I’ll tell you exactly how I feel.”

Upon hearing your words, Jungkook straightens himself up, downs the rest of his banana milk, and shakes up the hottest sauce of all.

“Can’t wait to hear it.” He says it softly without a hint of his usual teasing tone. “I think I have a good idea of what you want when I lose.”

“Oh yeah?” You pour two fresh glasses of banana milk in preparation for the inevitable. “Surprise me, Jeon.”

Round Five: The Last Dab

Although you took it easy in the previous round, you can’t tell if what you’re feeling is numbness or pain around your lips and in your mouth. At some point, the burning sensations must’ve fried a few of your brain cells but you were too distracted by Jungkook’s antics to notice or care. Oh right, it’s probably the effect of the Brain Burner.

“I think my entire mouth is numb.” Jungkook smacks his lips together a couple of times to test the theory. This gives you an idea.

You hop back into his lap and press a finger to his lower lip. Even the smallest trace of sauce is enough send a tingle from his lip to the pad of your finger. But you have a theory of your own to test. “If our lips are numb, an innocent kiss can’t hurt, right?”

He leans in with a smile. “I don’t think ‘innocent’ is the right word for anything that happens between us.”

The initial clash between your lips and his doesn’t burn, despite how reckless the motion might’ve been. Thank god. His fingers trace the curves of your cheeks, down your neck and chest, until he finds his way to the small of your back. You let him lay you down on your back as you give him a taste of your tongue. To your surprise, it reignites a wave of flames you thought had subsided.

You feel Jungkook wince from the sensation as well, but neither of you pull away. The electricity and passion of the kiss are more than enough to override the burn. The kiss might even be a better remedy than the banana milk. And you don’t want it to ever stop — the not-so-innocent shenanigans between you and him.

When the two of you finally take time to breathe, you look up at Jungkook, who looks more worked up now than he had from eating any of the hot sauces.

“Shall we wrap up this challenge?” he asks, taking your hand and pulling you back up into a sitting position.

“I suppose we have to.” You pull out the two final wings as the boy globs on a healthy amount of The Last Dab onto each piece. He reaches for the one with noticeably less sauce, but you take a bite out of it first. You think you’re doing yourself a favor by taking the lesser of two evils, but unfortunately for you, there’s a lot more sauce than chicken in your mouth. You take a moment to reflect on your poor decision while letting the banana milk do the rest.

“You’re really something else, Y/N.” Jungkook shakes his head before taking a much more conservative bite than you just had. His adorable face scrunch is a painful reminder that no matter how little you taste of the sauce, you’ll still be fucked by its potency. He downs not one, but two whole glasses of banana milk in the span of a few seconds. His closing statement for the challenge is one of sarcasm. “Okay, well this was fun.”

“You and I really do some dumb things sometimes,” you sigh in an attempt to hide a smile. “But they’re also ones I’ll never forget about.”

“I won’t either,” Jungkook chuckles. “There’s a reason why I always ask you to do these dumb things with me.”

“Because I’m the only one weird enough to agree to it?” You can’t imagine the other Bangtan members setting their mouths on fire on their own time when they do enough of that stuff on variety shows.

“Yeah, you’re a weird one, Y/N.” He holds up his hands on instinct because he already knows you’re about to square up and retaliate for the teasing. You make him laugh at your two soft jabs at his palms. “But maybe that’s why we work well together.”

“I think so, too.” Your fingers melt into his until they’re intertwined. “That’s exactly how I feel, Jungkook.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” He presses a soft smile into your lips. “I was about to tear down Yoongi’s soundproof walls and steal all his equipment for exposing me like that.”

“I mean, you can still do that and bring it all here,” you laugh. A producer can never have too much equipment in their studio. “Was that your punishment, by the way? Surprising me with more equipment?”

“Close.” Jungkook pulls his hoodie off over his head and helps you wiggle your body into it. “I know you were eyeing this one earlier.”

“I can keep it?” Your eyes light up. The boy knew just what you were after.

He nods and points at the hoodie you were wearing earlier. “You can keep that other one too, since you’ve already made yourself at home in it.”

You sling your baggy sleeves over Jungkook’s shoulders and give him another heated kiss. It’s just one of many fiery kisses with the boy who brings you lunch in the studio, invites you partake in his dumb shenanigans, and shares his best hoodies.

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #jungkook

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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years

Text

Sugar, sugar

(genuinely hate coming up with titles lol)

this is just rowaelin being pining idiots, one of my fave tropes for day 11--delayed love confession

just a note, the lifestyle in this fic is more of a background note and doesnt really take centre stage in this fic. it’s one ive been tempted to write for a while tbh but didnt really get around to it until now

cw: very, very light smut (like barely non existent, but just in case), a lil bit of swearing

enjoy! :)

3k words (officially my longest fic, yay!)

Every thought in Aelin's mind was blank. She trudged through her apartment that she shared with Nehemia, absentmindedly kicking off her heels that Rowan purchased for her months ago. Then the light jacket she wore joined the shoes, the fabric was perfectly soft and perfect for the autumn chill.

It was yet another piece of item that Rowan purchased for her. A lot of the things she had know were thanks to Rowan, either from his own wallet or from the biweekly allowance he sent her—a generous allowance that was a thousand times better than her weekly paycheck from the bookstore she'd been working at since she turned twenty-two; her business degree had turned out to be useless and so she turned to the bookstore that had been her stable job for three years.

Aelin barely touched her weekly wage now, it was practically buried underneath the money the Rowan gave her.

Because Rowan Whitethorn, thirty-five and a successful CEO who was well known, was her sugar daddy. Had been now for fourteen months. But he was more than that, more than just a man that paid her to spend time with him. He respected her, was loyal to her, listened to her and responded with actual sentences instead of a word or two like other men she had dated. He was charming, didn't treat her like she was nothing but arm candy, and she knew him so well, as he knew her, and each fortnight she sometimes forgot their whole arrangement, but she was sharply reminded when she received the notification from her bank that the two and a half thousand dollars that Rowan sent her was now in her savings account.

When she agreed to their arrangement after several get-to-know you dates, Rowan had wanted to give her three and a half grand every week, and gods Aelin had been tempted because she had never had so much money in her life, but told him that it was far too much and negotiated.

Two and a half thousand was the lowest that Rowan was willing to go, and even though Aelin only knew him for two weeks at that point, she could tell that he would not budge, so she agreed to the amount.

The first time that money had landed in her account, Aelin had thought that maybe she had imagined the whole thing, but the money was a sharp reminder of what she know was—a sugar baby. Those words still didn't feel like they applied to her.

And he still spent money on her when they spent time together. Just last week he gifted her with diamond earrings in the shapes of roses with a necklace to match. She wore them tonight, not because he bought them for her but because she genuinely loved the pieces.

Needing something sweet—despite the fact she had only finished her chocolate hazelnut gelato twenty minutes ago—she dug through her fridge and found the brownies that Nehemia had baked the other day. She told herself that she would leave some for her long-time friend, but Aelin really doubted that would happen.

Aelin relished in the cold air of the fridge as she found the new can of whipped cream on the top shelf. The fridge was one of the first things she purchased with the money she was now being gifted with (and after that came a new washer and dryer, a dish-washing machine and television. Almost everything in her apartment was brand new now, the food were actual brands instead of the generic, tasteless shit. She had bras that fit her properly and were so damned comfortable that she forgot she was wearing them half the time).

The old fridge was a cheap hunk of junk that she and Nehemia purchased off Facebook marketplace for a hundred dollars, it barely kept things cold, but with expensive rent and bills and general life things, Nehemia and her couldn't afford anything better.

Which was how she ended up in this situation. Picking up more shifts barely gave them anything extra, because the economy right now in Terrasen was shit. Nehemia had made a joke about needing sugar daddies, and Aelin, knowing that Nehemia could never really do such a thing, had decided that maybe it was a good idea.

Nehemia had told Aelin that she was insane for pursuing such a thing, and that she had only been joking, but Aelin was not and that she could handle herself if things went wrong.

Nehemia had told her not to do anything, but Aelin was determined and started her search. It had taken a while to find a website that was genuine and didn't make her feel like she had to scrub her eyes out with bleach.

She created her page in private, because she not only was Nehemia against the idea, but so was Elide and Lysandra—she didn't dare tell Aedion what she was doing. Her cousin could be an overprotective pain in her ass at times, and Aelin was very well aware that if Aedion caught wind of what she was doing, he would have locked her up in her room without any type of device so she couldn't go forward with her plan.

She appreciated their concern, she did, but she was a consenting, tax-paying adult, and if she wanted to use her time to get paid spending time with a rich man, then Aelin was allowed to do exactly that.

It wasn't prostitution, she had looked it up, because it was the sugar babies that had the power and so that was how it went with her and Rowan.

Aelin didn't even have sex with Rowan until it was the sixth month anniversary of her and Rowan's...relationship (and gods, it was the best sex Aelin ever had. Rowan was a generous and completely unselfish lover).

He was the first one she came across on the site and almost drooled down herself when she saw his picture. Silver hair, pine-green eyes, a beautiful tattoo down the length of his left arm and tanned skin, he was stupidly attractive and only ten years old than her.

Aelin messaged him first only after being on the site for ten minutes, deciding that surely he was the best one and that she needn't bother to look at any other candidates.

They hit it off straight away, and after deciding on a restaurant to meet at, Aelin had informed Nehemia of the matter, which she was promptly met with question after question: why can't a thirty-four year old man find someone his own age? Is he one of those men that can't date a woman five minutes older than him because of some stupid made up reason? How do you know for certain that it's him in the picture? What if he's cat-fishing you? What if he's a freak, or a killer? What if he's just pretending to be rich to kidnap you? What if, what if, what if?

And so after a heated discussion, Nehemia had come along on her date-that-wasn't-really-a-date and sat a few tables away from her and Rowan, watching them—especially him—the entire time like a hawk.

Aelin had completely forgotten that her friend was there, so enraptured by Rowan and what he did and how he saw life.

It had been fourteen months of seeing Rowan and genuinely enjoying spending time with him and weeks ago, she realised that she wanted it to be something more. That she had come to care for him, not because of the money, but purely because it was Rowan and he made her feel seen and he wasn't afraid of her, because she had once been told by an ex that she could be too much and that he couldn't handle all her baggage.

Aelin wanted a life with him.

So Aelin told Rowan she loved him when he dropped her off tonight after their dinner and a movie date, telling him how she felt, and he had said thank you. He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and went home, leaving behind the pine-and-snow scent of him.

Aelin really wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die.

She was scarfing down her third brownie when Nehemia's bedroom door opened, her friend clad in an old matching pj set, her slippers shuffling across the tile.

“What happened? Are you okay?” her friend asked upon seeing Aelin's guttered look. Her dark brows furrowed. “Did that bastard hurt you? If he did, I'll—”

“He didn't do anything,” Aelin interrupted her friend. Taking the food, Aelin planted herself on the teal blue velvet sofa Rowan gave her for Yulemas last year, ignoring the scent of not just him, but of them both from when he came over after work just the other day with pizza and a DVD that she insisted that she watched because it was too good not to, when they forgot all about the movie as Rowan buried himself inside her, leaving hickeys all over her neck that she had to cover up with thick concealer.

Nehemia joined her on the couch, her friend momentarily forgetting for now that she had walked in on her and Rowan just moments after they finished, muttering under her breath in Eyllwe as she glared at them defiling the couch, and gave her a look that Aelin knew that Nehemia would listen to every word that came out from her.

And when Aelin was done recounting the story, all Nehemia could come up with was, “Oh.”

“Yes, 'oh,'. I've probably fucked up the whole thing. So don't be surprised if I call you on your lunch break tomorrow telling you he's broken things off.”

“Aelin, I don't think he will. I know that I'm not the biggest fan of your...situation—”

“I'm aware,” Aelin said, cutting her friend off. “You still won't let me buy you a new mattress, even though yours is hard as a brick and lumpy as hell. I've told you that you can pay me—”

“Aelin,” Nehemia said, “we're not talking about mattresses right now. As I was saying, I doubt he'll break things off because I've seen the way he looks at you. I still think he's too old for you, but he cares for you. You probably just caught him by surprise.”

“How does he look at me?” Aelin was observant, but sometimes when she was with Rowan, all her observation skills went out the window.

“Like he loves you,” Nehemia said, no hint of doubt in her voice.

Aelin sighed, her feelings slowly starting to crush her. “I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

Sighing once more, Aelin put the food back in the fridge, showered and went to bed, forgoing her usual night texting ritual with Rowan.

She really wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't concentrate, which wasn't a good thing, since his job dealt with having to concentrate all the time. But no matter what mind-focusing techniques he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Aelin.

Couldn't stop thinking about how she said she was in love with him. How her beautiful eyes had been sparkling when she said those words to him. And how the light in them dimmed when he said thank you and kissed her on the cheek, telling her that he would talk to her later. But he hadn't texted her, nor did she.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you. He really couldn't believe that was what he said. Felt like an utter fool and a bastard as he realised he probably crushed her heart. Aelin didn't like being vulnerable, and she had been when she said those words and he had gone and fucked it all up.

Rowan loved Aelin, he did, but he truly wasn't prepared for those words. He loved how on the weekends they would be up at one am, baking chocolate goodies, dancing in the quiet kitchen, humming quietly to Aelin's classical music playlist, with her wearing not the nightgowns that he loved, but one of his old hoodies.

He didn't think that he would get along with her so well once they met, thinking that their online interactions were nothing but a fluke. He was moments away from deleting the profile because he didn't actually create it, but Fenrys had, his friend grumbling that he needed a girlfriend, with Rowan arguing that creating a profile on a sugar daddy site was not dating but probably the opposite, when Aelin messaged him.

His life-long friend didn't listen, much to Rowan's annoyance—but he didn't grab his phone out of his friends hand; Rowan blamed it on the several whiskys he had downed by that point.

Aelin bewitched him on that first meet up. She was intelligent as hell and funny, and creative and beautiful. He was aware of why she was on the date with him, but he didn't care, just as long as he got to see her again.

Fourteen months later and Rowan was still bewitched. He wanted to be with her on a permanent basis, but wasn't completely sure how to take that step.

Clearly, Aelin had taken that step for them, and Rowan was the worlds biggest moron.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you.

Groaning, Rowan turned away from his computer and looked at the skyline, ignoring the buildings to instead watch the puffy clouds drift by.

Aelin loved watching the clouds, loved stargazing, loved questioning about the universe and what the skies held.

He never really paid any of that stuff attention, not until he met her.

Rowan didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to think that he was about to break up with her over this. He had to see her, so he grabbed his keys and wallet, told his secretary to hold his calls for the rest of the day, and went to visit Aelin.

X X X X X X

It had been an usually busy day for a Wednesday and Aelin was glad for her lunch break as she trudged up to the roof of the shopping centre. She wasn't really allowed up here, but she wanted some fresh air and to feel the sun against her skin as she sat down and dug into her lunch—fast food, unfortunately for her, because she was so frazzled from last night that she completely forgot about making a pack lunch.

Rowan hadn't called her, or texted her. Not even an email had been sent her way.

Aelin hated that she felt so damned mopey. She was an independent woman, but gods, even a good morning text would have been fine.

She finished her lunch, popping several mints into her mouth to get rid of the onion taste, when the roof door crashed open and a familiar hulking figure came into view.

He must have spoken to Elide to find her here.

Aelin's brow furrowed. “Rowan, what are you doing here?” Oh gods, surely he wasn't going to break up with her, she still had hours to go; there'd be no way she could work if she had tears in her eyes.

Taking her hands in his, Aelin stood up. She steeled herself against whatever he was going to say.

“I love you, Aelin. I'm in love with you, too,” Rowan said, his eyes soft and full of genuine love. Aelin's heart shot up into her throat. “I want a life with you. I want us to buy a home, one that has warmth and character, and a big garden. I want a dog. And kids too, if you want, I know that you've never mentioned it, but if you don't want any then that is completely fine. I want to support you in whatever endeavors you want to take, and if you ever want to go back to university, then I'll support you, or if you want to find a way to use your business degree, I'll help you with that, too. Whatever you want Aelin, I'll give it to you, as long as you're by my side, I'll be happy.”

Aelin was silent for so long that Rowan thought that maybe he shocked her into silence. But eventually, she smiled, one that was dazzling in its beauty that it took his breath away.

“You love me?”

“I do, Aelin, I love you.”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

Rowan groaned at the amusement in her tone, in her eyes. “You're never going to let me live that down, are you?”

She smirked. “Definitely not. It'll be a nice story to tell our children...one day. For now, I think we should contend with being proper significant others.”

Rowan nodded, smiling. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good, because I need to get back to work, since I'm no longer accepting your allowances. I won't deny the use of your credit card, but other than that, you are no longer my sugar daddy.”

It was Rowan's turned to smirk, and it was the one that made her core clench. “How about I be 'daddy' instead?”

Aelin snorted, even as she clenched around nothing again. Smacking his arm lightly, Aelin kissed him. “Only if you behave,” she said against his lips, “and now I really need to go back to work.”

Rowan walked her back, their fingers laced together, and as she turned to say goodbye, Aelin said, “I'll see you later, daddy.”

Rowan groaned, and it took everything in him not to take her hand and into his car to have his wicked way with her.

By the time he thought of a response, Aelin was already back to work, helping a customer with an impressive stack of books in her arms.

But she knew he was still there, because the way she swayed her hips to the counter was all for him, and when she saw him watching her, Aelin winked, making Rowan's heart flutter in his chest.

He really did love her. And he would live with her teasing him for the rest of his life, just as long as she was with him.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #my work

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