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#i died laughing when this happened
snazzy-suit · 1 year
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RE6 co-op is amazing
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lazylittledragon · 10 months
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what do you get when you have a very uncoordinated child, a glass door and a single dad who sometimes forgets both of these things
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eclaire-went-bam · 16 hours
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bro wtf i loaded rdr2 & while in big valley, got attacked by a cougar. fair, i was in cougar territory. killed it. started heading up to the nearby trapper to sell the hide & carcass. on the way there, got mauled by a grizzly bear.
thought that was weird, bcs i thought the bear only spawned if the cougar wasn't there. shrugged it off. killed it. started going to trapper again.
sold cougar, went back to bear to skin it, BUT ANOTHER BEAR SPAWNED IN THE SAME PLACE & MAULED ME. oh btw both times my bolt action turned into a varmint after it mauled me ??
anyways i sell them. leave. IMMEDIATELY WHEN I GET ON THE PATH A PACK OF WOLVES SURROUND ME and right before i fire my first bullet BOUNTY HUNTERS SPAWN & THEY HEAR. i run, shoot the wolves, the bounty hunters try killing me so i kill them — MORE SPAWN IN THE SAME AREA ? and in the middle of it, my horse just fucking Levitated Straight Into The Air & Died Mid-Air before we both fell
finish off the hunters & revive my horse
& IMMEDIATELY AFTER WHILE I'M SKINNING THE WOLVES MORE SPAWN ???????
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worstloki · 1 month
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Thor sweating as he tries to get Odin off him about marriage to Lady Sif: I--I already have a woman I intend to marry!!!!! Thor: [covers mouth in regret] Odin: Oh? And who might it be? Thor: [muffled] an... elf? Odin, narrowing his eyes: ...an elf. Thor: she's from another realm, you wouldn't know her!
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Luke and Ash with fans today
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oatbugs · 2 months
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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deadscell · 4 months
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“you died” screen except it’s major ocelot coming to roll over your body to get his red beret back, as his unit laugh obnoxiously because he managed to ricochet the bullet underneath a rock at you.
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seizeourdestiny · 1 year
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ALLEY OOP
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unfinishedslurs · 8 months
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Nancy's GBF (ghost best friend)
IT'S OCTOBER QUICK POST GHOST BARB FIC
She dreams about Barb every night.
She’s dreamed about her before, of course, but ever since Vecna died it’s different. She doesn’t scream. Doesn’t cry. There’s no blame placed on Nancy’s shoulders, no shrieking accusations about how it should have been her instead. 
She’s a silent figure. Unmoving, unfeeling. No matter how far Nancy reaches, or how fast she runs, she can never get close. 
Eventually, she comes into focus, and it’s awful because she seems younger than she ever did in real life. Her best friend died a child, closer to her little brother’s age than Nancy’s own now. The red shade of her hair, the exact outfit she had on, it’s all things she forgets in the waking world. But for these few minutes she can have Barb back. Even if she can never hug her best friend again, or exchange secrets, or laugh together, she still has this.
When she wakes up, it’s with tears on her face.
“Nancy?” Jonathan asks groggily, still half asleep. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Later, when he tells her he was accepted to Lenora Hills, she’ll wonder if she could have saved their relationship if she hadn’t started lying too.
Two months after the dreams start, Barb speaks. 
“Nancy? Nancy, it’s so cold. I don’t like it here, Nancy, please–”
In that moment, Nancy can finally reach out and take her hand.
She wakes up shivering and automatically checks her surroundings. Mike bursts through her door when she shrieks, her mom not far behind him.
They both try to ask her what’s wrong, but she can’t answer, too busy staring at the dead girl in the corner.
“Nancy?” Barb asks, pool water dripping down her chin. “What’s wrong with me?”
She tries to ignore it.
She’s having a mental breakdown of some kind, that’s fine. It’s to be expected, really. She’s been struggling keeping up with school, and the end of the world, and breaking up with Jonathan. Of course she’d see Barb around every corner. Of course she’d be cold all the time. Of course. And everyone knows the first step of having a mental break is to not feed into the delusion. 
She checks with El and Will, just to be safe.
They both look confused when they open the door, which makes sense. She and Jonathan have been split up for a month, she hasn’t exactly been around. Still, they accept her inside without question.
“I need you to make sure Henry isn’t back,” she blurts out as soon as the door shuts behind her. Both of them rear back in tandem, and something clatters in the kitchen. 
“Nancy?” Jonathan pokes his head around the corner, bewildered. “Are you okay?”
“Jonathan!” She feels herself flush. Why didn’t she think he’d be home? She knows he doesn’t have a job anymore, and his friend Argyle went back to California a while ago. Where else would he be?
“Nance, you’re pale,” he says, like she hasn’t noticed. As if her mom hasn’t said the same thing a hundred times in the past few days. He reaches out to guide her to the couch, and flinches back as soon as he feels her bare skin. “You’re freezing. Let me get you a blanket.”
She turns and looks at the kids as soon as he’s out of sight, noticing the way Will is rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I’m sorry, I’ve been having weird dreams for a while, and lately it’s gotten…worse, I guess, and I need to make sure it’s not him. It doesn’t feel like him, but I need…I can’t…”
El’s face turns into something determined, and oh, Nancy hates asking this of her. But if Vecna isn’t really dead, if they can get a headstart on his next plan, well. The sooner the better.
Ten minutes later the three siblings are sitting across from her, El tying a blindfold around her eyes as a blanket sits on Nancy’s shoulders. It doesn’t do anything to help, of course. It’s nothing like when Will was possessed but the mindflayer. The heat doesn’t bother her, no matter how many times she brings a spare blanket to add to the pile on her bed or turns the shower faucet to its highest setting. In fact, she can’t feel it at all.
“Close your eyes,” El commands. “Focus. I need to be able to see inside you.”
She grimaces, involuntarily glancing at Barb in the corner. The past few days she’s been weeping nonstop. More than a few times, Nancy has cried with her. Now, though, she looks around the Byers’s new place curiously.
Nancy shuts her eyes.
“Don’t shut me out,” El reminds her gently, and then light floods her vision. 
Barb, always Barb. When they were kids they would push each other on the swingset and dare each other to climb trees. The last time she saw her, reassuring her she’d be fine before following Steve upstairs. Vecna daring to taunt her, as if she could ever forget what she’d lost.
A million memories, some she’d almost forgotten. And then it’s over too soon.
El rips the blindfold off, breathing heavily. Jonathan hands her a tissue for her nose, looking at Nancy with so much concern it feels like it’s going to kill her.
“What did you see?” Will asks frantically. “Was it him?”
El shakes her head, confirming what Nancy already knew deep down. “It wasn’t him.”
“Then what was it?” Jonathan asks, eyes still on Nancy. She raises a shaking hand to her face, and it comes away wet.
“Nothingness,” El finally says. “And then sadness, and cold, and dark. And a light. There was a light, and a hand, and then there was warmth and feeling again. But the feelings are bad. They are not Henry, but they are not good.”
“So she’s real?” Nancy’s voice cracks.
“What? Who’s real? Nancy, what’s going on?” Jonathan asks. WIll just looks at her, concern in his big eyes.
El tilts her head. “I think so? But I do not know her. I can’t see her like you can.”
“Who is ‘she?’” Jonathan demands. “Will someone tell me what’s going on?”
“I actually have to go,” Nancy says, almost stumbling as she stands up. She takes a moment to fold the blanket Jonathan gave her so kindly. He’s still trying to get her attention, but she brushes him off as she heads out the door and to her car.
“Nance, please, I know we broke up but I still care–”
“I know!’ She says, whipping around. Barb watches curiously from the corner of her eye. “I know you do, and that’s great, really, but it’s none of your business. I didn’t even think you’d be here, so…”
“Where else would I be?”
“I don’t know, Jonathan, California?” She snaps. He rears back. “Isn’t that where you’re going anyway? Just– stop acting like this is any of your business! We broke up, we’re done, I don’t… I don’t want to talk, Jon! Just leave it alone.”
“Nancy…” he reaches out, and Nancy takes a step back. Barb appears between them in an instant, and his hand passes right through her. He jumps, swearing and turning pale. Nancy feels herself gasp, feeling warm for the first time in days in that split second before he pulls back.
He watches her silently, with those big eyes she’s always been weak to. She doesn’t have anything to say to him, or maybe she has too much to say. Either way, she gets in her car silently, driving off and leaving him standing in the rearview.
For once, she doesn’t startle when Barb jumps into existence in the front seat.
“Byers, huh?” She asks, something like humor in her voice. She always sounds distant now, like she’s underwater, or whispering from across a field. But Nancy understands what she’s saying. She always will. 
Barb sighs when she doesn’t answer. “At least his brother’s alive, I guess.”
That makes Nancy laugh, a harsh cackle that would make her jump if it came out of someone else. “Yeah,” she agrees, speaking to the ghost of her best friend for the first time, “At least Will’s alive.”
It’s not like having Barb back. Not really.
She’s bitter, and angry, and she screams and yells and cries all the time. Sweeps her arm across Nancy’s desk like she’s trying to break something, and only gets angrier when she can’t. Yells at Nancy sometimes, which she knows she deserves.
There’s the blame for her death of course, which is nothing new. She’s been having nightmares about that for years. But then there’s the other stuff. The weird questions, like, “Why did you bring me back? Why couldn’t you let it be?”
When she asks about it, all she gets is Barb turning away from her.
“Nancy? Naaaaaaancy. Nance, are you listening to me?”
She turns her head and almost shrieks to see Robin staring at her, almost nose to nose. “What are you doing?”
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for, like, forever minutes,” she complains.
Nancy looks at Steve. “It was, like, forever,” he confirms, staring at her intensely. “You okay, Nance?”
 Eddie rolls his eyes. “It’s been thirty seconds,” he deadpans.
Robin flops onto the floor. “Forever.”
“I’m starting to think getting you guys high was a mistake.”
“You say that every time. It’s not even your weed.” Steve yanks the dying bud out of his hand, taking a drag that has to be mostly ash at this point and putting it out on the ashtray. They don’t do this often, or at least Nancy doesn’t join them often. She’s not fond of the floaty feeling the weed gives her, preferring alcohol if she’s not going to be sober. But Eddie asked her to come, and Steve and Robin prefer having more people around if they’re going to get high. Something about what the Russians gave them.
She hasn’t seen Jonathan here since they broke up, but she thinks that’s less about them not inviting him and more about everyone trying to give them both space. 
Nancy’s gaze has already wandered back to Barb. It’s been a quiet day today, which makes her nervous for tomorrow. But at least during quiet days she can seem semi-normal in front of her friends.
“Nancy? Seriously, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she tells Steve, not bothering to look away from Barb. She looks from Nancy to Steve, this new, older Steve she’s seeing for the first time, and pretends to gag herself on a finger. The pool water that never stops coming out of her mouth splatters silently on the floor. Nancy doesn’t laugh. 
“Hey.” Steve moves in front of her, slightly wobbly as he sits cross legged across from her. She can barely see Barb past his hair. “Yanno, Jonathan asked about you.”
“What?” That breaks her from her trance.
“Yeah, he said he was worried about you. I asked him why he was asking me and not you, but he said you didn’t want to talk about it. But he was, like, really worried Nance. So, like, is everything alright?”
“Do you ever dream about dead people?” She blurts out.
All three of them go completely silent, staring at her. She laughs nervously. “Never mind! Never mind, that’s weird. Wow, why did I ask that? I think I took too many hits. Where’s your bathroom?”
“I mean,” Eddie says, after Steve doesn’t answer, “I dream about Chrissy all the time. How could I not? Shit was a real life nightmare, of course it made its way into my dreams.”
Steve shakes himself. “I guess I dream about Billy, but that’s different. I mean, it’s still a nightmare, but it’s not like…” his hand drifts unconsciously to the faint scar on his forehead. “It’s not about the Upside-Down, I guess. It’s not the same as my other nightmares.”
“I have dreams where people die all the time,” Robin declares, scooching herself across the floor until she can lay in Steve’s lap. “They suck.”
“Yeah, but are any of the dreams ever…weird to you guys? Like they’re not normal nightmares? Like they’re there all the time, just staring at you, and you try to reach for them but you never can?” She asks desperately.
The three of them look at each other, and shake their heads.
“Cool,” Nancy says, palms sweating. “Me neither.”
It’s raining when Mike storms into her room while Nancy is trying (and failing) to do college prep. “What is wrong with you?”
Barb starts laughing, a gurgling, chilling sound that Nancy heard once and made her summarily decide to never make a joke again. 
“What are you talking about?” She asks, eyes flitting between Mike and Barb. “Get out!”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” he accuses. “You’re not even looking at me!”
“Maybe I just don’t want to see your dumb face.”
“Fuck off!”
“Michael!” Their mother hollers. 
He rolls his eyes. “Ugh, sorry!”
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atopvisenyashill · 6 months
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aegon vi x sansa
when you’re fucking the same guy and that guy is your mutual half brother.
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anyways this exists in my mind as like “asoiaf but more overtly subtextually gay” where aegon/jon is show!visaemon levels of intense but jonsa still happens. those two are straight up secret married in front of a weirwood and bran officiating as a crow, then jon gets sent as an envoy to treat with the hot new claimant to the iron throne and immediately falls ass deep into another identity crisis surrounding wanting to bang his sibling. enter sansa, who does not like aegon’s weird incest vibes bc HIS are rancid, hers are fine bc it’s not incest anymore thanks very much, just absolutely managing to third wheel this burgeoning targaryen mutually assured destruction spiral through the power of passive aggressive messages alone. becoming fond of each other solely bc of their relationship with jon (see “what you did for her is the only reason i’m not killing you” but apply it to sansa/aegon snarking at each other over jon). this will never happen tho so it only exists in my mind!!!!
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illithiddies · 4 months
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I found the explosives
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lgbtlunaverse · 10 months
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It's a really heartwrenching sequence as it's happening but looking back at the part where jgy grabs jin ling as a hostage in guanyin temple I always crack up when he starts to assure everyone that he really likes a-ling, actually! He practically raised him, he really doesn't want to hurt him so don't worry and please just do as he says.
A-yao. Sweetheart. The point of taking a hostage is that the people you're negotiating with believe you're going to kill the hostage so you can use their wellbeing as a bargaining chip. Saying "Oh yeah I really like this hostage I don't want to hurt him" kind of ruins the point of a hostage. What are you doing?
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takethebodymarc · 2 months
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when the news are so shocking you cant help but laugh a little oof my heart
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trashvampiree · 1 year
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thinking about how hard Michael stares at Star the first time he sees her, bro isn't even just checking her out at that point he's fucking READING her
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Amanda Grayson with her Hubby and Stepson
#I wanted to redesign Amanda Grayson bc I like her flamboyant old woman look but when she's young they always style her look very bland#and proper...and I want her to look like kind of a hippie teacher mess#Amanda & Sarek - annoying girl x killjoy guy#we are each insufferable in our own unique ways#Amanda has a way of getting to people - whether it's good or bad depends on the person but she's someone you remember and who it's easy to#end up talking to for hours and Sarek realizes this too late...before he even knows whats happening he's grocery shopping with this woman as#they both complain about how BRIGHT the store lights are#Sarek: (on date number five) ..........I have a son by the way / Amanda: Aw shit. Let's go to chuck E Cheese.#Amanda goes into Sarek's quarters for the first time and is like this place is AWFUL!! and by the end of the week she's redecorated.#She built him a bedside table. He bought her a pair of gaudy earrings which she loved but didn't get herself during one of their shopping#trips bc she exclaimed 'Ugh! Who do I think I am!?' and speed walked away#Also last bit of personal lore but Amanda told Sarek (as a joke) that before they got married he should ask her father first#(she said this bc Sarek asked her to marry him on like the second date since Vulcans don't date - she said no)#so when Sarek meets Amanda's father he asks the man to marry him - misinterpreting her words (Amanda DIES laughing)#Sarek seems straight but tradition is tradition - if he has to marry Amanda's dad before he can marry her he'll deal with it#Stepmom Amanda swag...she's gonna give this grumpy lil boy a piggyback ride and giggle about his dad with him#anyway...I like this version of Amanda - she makes her own kombucha and insists you take a jar home with you#Sarek/Amanda#star trek#star trek art#Sarek#Amanda Grayson#sarek art#amanda grayson art#bea art tag#Sarek calls Amanda : dear darling beloved blossom my heart etc#Amanda calls Sarek: elbows knees bigntall sharpie etc#the times she calls him stuff like 'honeycake' and other such stupid-sweet things are times he pretends to find baffling but cherishes 4ever#couple that has a list of things to ask before they eat at a new place#Is it vegetarian? Is it kosher? Is it organic? Is it spicy?
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jb-nonsense · 9 months
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While I get why BG3 has a silent protag, I do miss the chance for the protag to just say
"Well...fuck" when a persuasion/deception roll doesn't work
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