#i get it’s different studios and companies but for fucks sake really

[eldritch-thrumming]

scream 7 fires their highly successful female lead who revitalized their franchise & made them millions of dollars all because of her pro palestinian stance but not a single word from netflix on their side characters in an ensemble cast who are literally saying shit like “zionism is sexy” and advocating for absolutely no ceasefire under any circumstances. this is a hell world.

#i’m talking abt melissa barrera noah schnapp and brett gelman respectively #hollywood is such a fucking joke i hope it collapses #i get it’s different studios and companies but for fucks sake really #will be interesting to see what jenna ortega has to say abt this i have no idea if she’s even attached to scream 7 tbh #also something so sinister abt an industry that would drop a new hunger games installment rn

[justinmitchellfan]

BELLA THORNE X ARIANA GRANDE LOVE STORY SMUT WARNING ⚠️ PART 15 continuation of the sweetener tour romance story

Chapter 68

Arianas point of view

I was so excited to be flying back to Bella in a few days ,it has been the longest three weeks of my life and even though I was busy with writing and recording, something deep inside of me was making me feel depressed and I kept to myself since I didn't want to freak bella out and I drove home from the studio and made myself some dinner and my doorbell rang and I ran over to answer it. Who would be ringing my doorbell at 8pm and I checked the cameras and saw Ricky standing there with a brown paper bag and I opened the door and we smiled at each other "hi as we both said in unison

"I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing, I brought a few things to get you through the next couple of days until you're back with Bella says Ricky making my heart melt. This man is the sweetest and even though we weren't in a relationship anymore, we still had a strong friendship and I respected his decisions to end our relationship because we lived totally different lives "oh Ricky, thank you so much ,I've just made dinner, would you like some as I asked him "it's okay I'd hate to cause you any trouble says Ricky as he told me and I chuckled "don't be ridiculous, come inside as I said pulling him inside my house and shutting the door behind him

We sat down and started to eat the dinner I prepared and we spoke for half an hour before he decided to go into the kitchen to wash the dishes and I watched him as he scrubbed the dish with concentration and my eyes wondered over his body ,stopping at his butt ,I bit my bottom lip remembering how toned he used to be and I wondered If he was still like that. His abs,his biceps ,his....I need to stop ,I have a fiancee for fucks sake and every time I pushed away my thoughts, they came back again and I didn't notice that he had finished until he came up to me

"Are you okay? You look sad unless you're deep in concentration says Ricky as he chuckled making me smile "yeah sorry I'm fine, I was you thinking about Bella as I lied and he embraced me in a hug ,patting my back "it's okay I'm sure she's feeling the same way without you says Ricky as he reassured me and I nodded my head "would you stay here while I have a shower? My dogs hate it when I leave them for a second as I said softly and he hesitantly nodded "thanks Ricky, I'll be quick as I said running to my ensuite and I had a quick shower and put some lotion on and I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me while I walked into my bedroom and I dried myself off and began to dress in some night clothes

"I don't think you're allowed on the couch, Lafayette as I heard Ricky say softly from the living room making me chuckle and I pulled my cami pajama too over my head and jumped when I heard the floorboard creak "ar-oh fuck as Ricky shouted and I covered my body and squealed in shock "I'm so sorry shit, I should've knocked as he said closing the door behind himself and walking back into the living room and I quickly slipped on my pajama shorts on and ran over to him "Ricky it's okay, I don't care honestly as I told him and he gave me a nervous smile "I was going to ask if the dogs are allowed on the couch but I didn't even think to knock, I'm so sorry says Ricky as he apologized and I took his hand gently

"Come here, let me show you what Myron has done to my chairs as I said taking him to my bedroom and I pointed to the chair and he let out a laugh "you see I don't like them being on the couch but there's so many of them and they just destroy everything so I really don't care anymore as I said making us both laugh "you wanna watch a movie? I need some company as I said with a pout and he nodded his head and went to walk out of the room "in here silly as I said and he awkwardly came back over and joined me on the bed

He kicked off his shoes and I laid the covers over us and I grabbed the remote from my bedside table and flicked through some movies and I clicked on a random movie and set the remote down and I moved closer to him and laid my head on his chest "friends do this right " and he stroked my head and wrapped his arm around me and I felt secure in his arms, all of the memories of our relationship filled my head and I looked up at him and he smiled without looking down at me and I sat upnand stared into his eyes and I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to feel that with him again and his eyes drifted to mine and they were locked there, something took over me and I leaned in and pressed my lips against his

He tried to pull away but I pressed my lips against his harder, our kiss got more intense and my hands roamed his body and I took his hand and placed it on my thigh dangerously close to my entrance and he didn't take the hint so I took his hand again and placed it under my panties and he rubbed my pleasure and I moaned loudly, his lips kissed down my jaw and neck "Ricky please... I want this as I begged touching his length and he flinched a little and pulled his hand out of my panties and he closed his eyes and pulled his eyebrows together and he looked upset and confused "Ariana you're engaged says Ricky softly making my heart sink in my chest

He was right....I cheated on my fiancee and for what and tears started streaming down my face as I sobbed uncontrollably and he brought me into a hug and held me tightly "it's okay Ariana says Ricky "no its not okay! I just cheated on my fiancee.....I'm a terrible person as I said crying with my head to my knees, my arms wrapped around my head and he pulled me into him and I sobbed into his chest weakly "if you want to leave I get it ,I'm sorry for what I did as I wept, sitting up and wiping my tears away "I don't want to leave you like this Ariana, I don't want you to hurt yourself over this says Ricky calmly which made me cry harder "I want you to leave ,I've already caused you so much pain as I explained and he sighed

"You haven't Caused me pain Ariana, but If you want me to leave, I will says Ricky as he was about to stand up "I don't want you to leave, please stay....I can't trust myself as I said worriedly and he nodded his head "I can't believe I cheated on bella as I said weakly barley above a whisper "I know it's hard but you need to tell her, you can't keep this from her, she has a right to know what we almost did says Ricky as he told me "I don't know what I would tell her ,she's been nothing but the best to me and I had to fuck it up, what if she decides to end our relationship as I said as my tears fell from my eyes

"Even if she doesn't want to continue this relationship, it's not because she doesn't love you ,it's because she has morals ,you'll have to respect whatever she desires says Ricky as he told me and I let his words sink in "I have to tell her now as I said suddenly and he gave me a confused look "now?over the phone as he questioned "if I don't tell her now ,she'll know somethings up and it will end badly as I told him and he nodded his head understanding and I grabbed my phone and took a deep breath in trying to calm my anxious thoughts

"Ariana, I need to get home to my dog, if you need me, I'm just one call away okay says Ricky and I gave him a slight nod and I let him out the front door and hugged him goodbye and I watched him drive away and my heart ached as I thought about calling bella and I went into my room and broke down in tears. Why would I do this to the woman I wanted to marry

Chapter 69

Bella Thornes point of view

Bella is wearing a white hoodie with black pants and white shoes

Bella just got home from work and Bella was exhausted from the busy flow at work and I put the handbag down that Ariana gave me on valentines day and I walked into the kitchen/lounge area and saw my mom cooking pasta "hello darling, how was work as she asked me before I could say anything "it was alright, but I'm so tired , we had visitors from the Singapore office come in today and it was so busy thar I didn't even get a lunch break as I said to my mom and she brought me into a hug "hopefully tomorrow is better then as she said smiling and we had our dinner and I took a shower and I was just about to head to the living room to see what my mom was up to when my phone started ringing

Incoming facetime call from Ariana and I realized that she hadn't messaged me or called me all day while I was at work, I guess she was busy too and I answered it and smiled into the camera as it connected and I saw her face and it was red and puffy like she had been crying all night and day "Ariana baby.....what's wrong? Are you okay as I asked concerned for my fiancee and Ariana broke down in tears and I felt my heart clench at Being able to physically comfort her "baby....what's wrong as I asked calmly and Ariana sniffled but avoided looking at me

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I hate myself so much says Ariana making me feel horrible and I couldn't even be there to help her through her depression "ari it's okay, I'm right here, the way you're feeling will pass okay I'm right h- "no bella you don't understand, I kissed Ricky.....I don't know what came over me says Ariana and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. Everything that Ariana Said after just faded into Nothing, I couldn't breathe, u couldn't think, I couldn't move. Ariana cheated on me...with Ricky.....did she initiate it ,when did this happen? Does she not love me anymore ? Why does my whole life feel like it's falling apart in these few seconds

"Bella says Ariana as she asked softly bringing me out of my trance "you cheated on me says bella weakly trying to hold the tears back "I'm so sorry says Ariana In between sobs "I know you hate me but pleas-" "I don't hate you Ariana, I still love you but I can't do this.....why is it that when I fall hard for someone, they go behind my back and cheat on me ?why am I not enough fir anyone says as bella began to cry and I looked at my phone and her phone camera was pointed to the ceiling, all I could hear was Ariana weeping and I almost felt bad for Ariana

"You are enough for me bella, you're more than enough for me but I don't deserve you at all ,you deserve someone who isn't so fucked up and won't let you down says Ariana making my heart ache and I didn't say anything, I wanted to be angry at her ,I wanted to have the guts to call off our engagement but I couldn't, I just sat there with tears falling from my eyes .I was heartbroken, I felt so worthless "Ariana I need time....I can't handle this right now as I said before hanging up the phone and I slumped down on the bed and cried "Bella, what's wrong darling says my mom as she asked me, as the words flowed out of her mouth my tears fell quicker

"Mom....she cheated on me as I said weakly not bringing my head up from the pillow I was suffocating in "Ariana cheated on you? With who? Do you know them says as she questioned me ,I sniffled and lifted my head, nodding a few times before sinking my face back into my pillow "oh darling I'm so sorry, I really am says my mom sitting beside me and stroking the back of my head "she kissed Ricky.....I knew she still liked him ,the whole time she lied to me saying they were just friends, who knows, she could've been sleeping with him and I had no idea as I told my mom and she pressed her lips together

"Darling don't jump ahead of yourself, if she said it was just a kiss then it was just a kiss-" I gave her a hard stare and she nodded "right yes, you're right as she said while she wiped my tears from my face "I know her mom ,she would've done more than just kissing ,she's not telling me the full story and that's what makes it worse as I told her sadly "how about I get you some of your vegan ice cream as my mom asked me and I nodded my head and she kissed my forehead and left the room and I checked my phone and saw that I had 6 missed calls and 9 messages from Ariana and I didn't want to deal with Ariana right now so I put my phone on silent and placed it on my bedside table

I walked to the living room and sat down on the couch and my mom passed me the bowl of ice cream and I cuddled into her as I thanked her and we sat and watched a movie together, I know I had work tomorrow bit one late night wouldn't kill me ,especially with these circumstances and halfway through the movie, my moms phone buzzed beside her and she started messaging whoever it was, she let out a sympathetic hum and I looked over to her confused "who are you talking to as I asked her and her head snapped up quickly covering her phone "oh just a friend of mine as she responded and I squinted my eyes "which friend as I asked

"I'm talking to Joan if you must know, miss sticky beak as my mom said making me pull my brows together "she just wanted to know how you are since you're not answering any of Arianas calls or her messages as my mom raised a brow at me and I huffed "my phone is in my room as I defended and she chuckled "how is Ariana as I asked shyly "why don't you ask her yourself, she's been worried sick about you as my mom said and I scoffed "maybe because she cheated on me !You're acting like this is nothing! I was going to marry her but then she tells me that she kissed and possibly did other things with someone else as I raised my voice at my mom and she gave me a disappointed look and frowned

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be taking it out on you ,I need to get some sleep as I said standing up and walking to the bathroom and u brushed my teeth and headed to bed and I just turned my light off when my mom walked into my room and she sat beside me on the bed and kissed my forehead "Bella, I know you think I'm sticking up for Ariana but I'm not ,I don't like what she did to you at all, as a matter of fact I don't think it would be a good idea to stay in a relationship with her if your suspicions were correct, I didn't want to say anything because I wanted you to make your own decisions, whatever you decide, don't get your heart broken again please, I love you so much Bella says my mom before she stood up and left my room

I could feel myself on the verge of tears again, I didn't know what to do, I still loved Ariana and I would live her no matter what but I couldn't let myself go through this again

********

It was another long day at work, my colleagues knew something was up but didn't bring it up and I came home and messaged my friends, I hadn't seen them in so long and I needed someone to talk to other than my mom and without hesitation, they came over and they also sensed something was up "Bella, you don't seem your usual happy self ? Are you okay says Sarah as she asked me which made Lucas and Kiara tune in "no I'm not, I don't know what to do and it's all my fault, I shouldn't have taken this job because then Ariana wouldn't have never cheated on me and then I wouldn't ve in this situa- as I said and my friends cut me off

"Woah Woah Woah....hold up? Ariana cheated on you says Lucas as he asked concerned and I nodded my head "she told me over the phone that she kissed Ricky and I almost felt sorry for her, she was so upset and I felt bad for her but if it was anyone else I would've ended it with them immediately, but I couldn't find the guts to do it as I told them and they listened carefully "did she just kiss him says Kiara as she asked me and I shrugged my shoulders "I don't know.... that's all she told me and I haven't spoken to her since, I've tried to cut off ties with everyone she knows but it's so hard when they haven't done anything wrong, I feel like a bitch ,I feel like it's all my fault as I told them as I started to tear up for the hundredth time today

"Isn't she meant to be coming back here in like two days says Sarah as she questioned and I shrugged my shoulders again "she better not come, I don't want to see her at all ,I'm hoping she'll get the hint and just go about her life and forget about me as I told them sadly "you don't mean that....she would never just forget about yo-" "I don't care anymore! I thought ari and I would get married, have some kids, grow old together but that's not happening anymore all because she couldn't make up her damn mind Wether she wants me or Ricky as I raised my voice, silencing my friends

I looked down embarrassed by my mood swings "I'm sorry as I said softly and Kiara patted my back and Sarah took my hand "I know it's hard with everyone telling you what they would do in this situation when they have no Idea what it felt like to be in this relationship says Sarah and Bella nodded her head "I just don't want a repeat of what happened with my ex ,that literally broke me but I was no where near as in love with her as I am with Ariana so the smallest kiss is the biggest thing to hurt me ,I can't bare to lose her but this caused me so much pain that I can't describe

Chapter 70

Arianas point of view

It's been a few days and Bella has Been ignoring all of my messages and calls ,I don't blame her, I would've done the same and my head was spinning in its bad thoughts and every now and then I'd throw a fit in anger "are you sure you don't want me to come with you says Courtney as she questioned and I nodded my head "yes, I'll be fine on my own as I told her while I packed a few clothes in a small suitcase "ari....what are you going to do if she doesn't forgive you says Courtney as she asked me "I don't know,, probably die of a heartbreak as I said sarcasticly earning a sad look from Courtney

After I had everything packed and ready to go, Courtney walked me to my front door "please don't burn my house down and don't throw any parties oh and don't forget to feed the dogs as I said as I hugged her tightly "I won't, don't worry says Courtney giving me a small smile and I got into the car and my driver took me to the airport and once I got to the airport, I hopped on the plane and it was a long flight and I got no sleep from overthinking what could happen

**********

Bella Thornes point of view

Bella is wearing a grey shirt with blue unbuttoned jacket with black pants and white shoes

I just got home from work and I called Kiara to come around and I had a shower and waited a few minutes until the doorbell rang and I ran to the front door and opened it to see Kiara smiling sweetly holding a bunch if flowers messily wrapped in newspaper and tied with string "here you go says Kiara as she told me, her big blue eyes looking into mine to see how I was feeling and I giggled and took the flowers from her "thank you Kiara ,you're the sweetest as I said bringing her into a hug and I took her hand in a friendly way and headed to my room

I shut my door behind us and we sat on my bed and talked about a lot and she spoke to me about her new boyfriend and u spoke about work and we put on a movie on my laptop and I cuddled up to her, my body was lying on top of hers, she knew I was more affectionate and needy during this hard time with Ariana so she didn't care and I almost fell asleep when I heard a voice I thought I'd never hear again "Bella as the voice eched through my ears and my head shot up from Kiaras chest and I turned around to see my fiancee standing in the doorway and I closed my eyes tightly and opened them to see her still standing there

"Why are you here as I asked confused "because I wanted to talk and you weren't answering any of my messages or calls so I came here a day early says Ariana coming closer to me and I looked back at Kiara and she was smiling at Ariana "I'm going to leave so you guys can talk ,call me if you need anything okay says Kiara as she told me and I gave her a pout "just talk it out....okay says Kiara and I nodded slowly, watching her leave my room and shutting the door behind her and ari sat on the edge of the bed and fiddled with her fingers and I could see tears falling from her eyes, she wasn't looking at me ,she just stared at the ground

I couldn't bare to see her upset so I tried to take her hand but she pulled away and I wondered what she was thinking about, was it that I might break up with her or was she hiding something "I made a horrible dumb mistake bella says Ariana closing her eyes and her body trembled a little "it wasn't just a kiss,I made him touch me says Ariana as she told me with her voice breaking as she spoke "I wanted it to be you but when he pulled away I realized what I had done, I'm so sorry says Ariana as her tears fell and I felt my heart drop to my stomach, it felt like it had shattered and I wanted to take my last breath hoping that it would all fade away but it didn't

I didn't say anything I just stared at the ground wondering why she did this to me and I felt her eyes on me trying to read my expression and she reached for my hand but I pulled away and rose to my feet and I held my tears back as much as I could, my breath was shaky and u stood by my bedroom window watching the world outside "Bella please I'm so sorry says Ariana as she told me from my bed " I don't want your apologies as I snapped crossing my arms over my chest "then what do you want from me says Ariana as she asked me weakly and I heard the bed sqeak as she stood up

"I want you to go back home and forget about me, forget that any of this relationship ever happened , just go live your fucking life without me as I shouted at Ariana and Ariana flinched at every word as her tears streamed down her face "I don't want to forget you, bella, please don't leave me says Ariana as she begged between her sobs "you did this to yourself....how could you cheat on me ,I thought you loved me as I said barely above a whisper and I sunk to the floor and brought my knees to my chest, weeping uncontrollably and Ariana sat beside me and brought me into a hug, I was too weak to pull away from her embrace

It felt good to be in her arms again but it didn't feel right, it was still lingering In my mind and we both cried and cuddled for what seemed like hours and it was dark outside and it felt like I had no tears left to cry "ari, I love you as I said softly, her eyes wondered my face with hope "I love you too says as Ariana responded as my fingers traced the butterfly tattoo on her arm "I think it's best if we just remain friends as I said trying to hide my sadness "if that's what you want then I respect your decision, I do want you to know that I'm really sorry for hurting you, you deserve only the best and km sorry that I wasted your time says Ariana as she told me with a frown

"Don't ever think you wasted my time, I had the most amazing time of my life with you ,you took me around the world and you showed me what love feels like just to name a couple out of a million things to be grateful for as I said pulling a small smile on her face and I looked down at my engagement ring and sighed and I slipped the ring off my finger, placing it in her hand and closing her fingers over it to keep it safe "some things just don't work out but I hope you find the right person, I'm sorry, I wasn't the one for you says Ariana as she told me slipping the ring in her pocket

"I hope you find someone who treats you better, someone who loves you better, someone you can spend the rest of your life with as I said gently taking her hand and stroking it and Ariana inhaled a shaky breath and I saw tears falling from her eyes "no one will ever treat me better than you have, thank you for being so patient with me says Ariana "please don't cry as I said wiping her tears away "I just need time okay as I added and Ariana nodded her head "if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here, you can message me and call me whenever you want okay as I told her and she nodded again and I brought Ariana into a warm hug and we stayed in each other's embrace for a minute until I pulled away

"Do you have somewhere to stay tonight as I asked Ariana "no but I can find a hotel, my flight dosent leave until 11 Tomorrow morning says Ariana as she told me and I shook my head "you can stay here, you don't have to get a hotel, you'll never find something at this hour as I said to Ariana and Ariana just shrugged her shoulders, looking down "I don't want to cause you anymore stress says Ariana as she told me fidgeting with her fingers "you don't cause me stress...come on you can sleep in ruby's old room as I told Ariana taking her hand and we walked out and headed to ruby's room "oh the bed hasn't been made as I said looking at the empty bed which made Ariana giggle "let's get you some sheets and covers as I said taking Ariana to the cupboard where we keep the towels, sheets and blankets

We walked past the living room and my parents eyes followed us to where we were walking "are you two okay as my mom asked me, making me stop in my tracks "yeah yeah everything's okay ,I'm just making up a bed for her since she has nowhere to stay as I told my parents and they looked a bit confused and I continued to walk to the closet and took out everything I needed to make the bed ,piling it into Arianas arms and I took some of the blankets from her and we headed back to ruby's room and we made the bed and Ariana thanked me "do you have clothes as I asked Ariana and Ariana nodded her head pointing to her tiny suitcase that I didn't even see her bring in

"Okay, well feel free to have a shower and um yeah....goodnight ari as I said before turning around and leaving the room "Bella as Ariana called out and I turned my head to see her head poking out of the room "thank you so much says Ariana with a smile showing her cute dimples "it's okay ad I said softly and walked back to my room and I got into bed and snuggled my pillows which was the closest thing to hugging Ariana and I wasn't sleepy at all ,I was wide awake which didn't help and I decided to message my friends about what happened and they were very supportive and gave me a lot of advice to ease the pain of the breakup and after an hour of messaging my friends, I decided to get some sleep

********

I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 8am and I yawned and stretched in my bed before getting up and walking to where Ariana was sleeping and I opened the door to find Ariana still asleep, curled under the covers and I smiled at the sight of how beautiful Ariana was and even through everything we've been through, I couldn't believe that I dated and got engaged to her.... the woman I had obsessed with over and loved for years fell in love with her and I sat beside her and shook her gently saying her name to wake her and her eyes fluttered open and Ariana smiled at the sight of me "ari we need to head to the airport soon so you can catch your flight as I told Ariana and Ariana nodded her head "we says Ariana as she questioned with a smile

"Well it's Saturday so I can drop you off as I told Ariana and Arianas smile grew bigger and I made us some breakfast and we got ready to leave and I took her suitcase and put it in my car while she said goodbye to my parents and she got into the passengers seat and I waited for her to buckle in before I started driving and the car ride was quiet but it wasn't awkward, the radio was playing in the background and I hummed along to some of the songs and once we arrived, Courtney, roshad, Joan, toulouse and Myron were all waiting by the jet and I took her suitcase put of the backseat and she carried her handbag, one of the airport crew took her suitcase and put it on the private jet for me

I saw Ariana hugging Joan tightly a d Courtney waved at me with a smile and I walked over to her and gave her a hug "I'm sorry for ignoring you, I don't know what I was thinking as I said to Courtney and she chuckled "it's okay bella I completely understand says Courtney as she told me taking my hands and noticing the ring wasn't on my finger and she didn't say anything but just brushed her thumb over my bare finger sadly and I patted and kissed toulouse and Myron "Bella sweetie....come here says Joan with her arms open for me and I walked over to her and she embraced me in a hug

"I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two, but please don't think you can't talk to me anymore, I'm always here for you on matter what says Joan while I rested my head on her shoulder as she hugged me tightly "of course, I don't think I could live without a Joan as I said making her chuckle and after talking to Joan for a few minutes, the pilot announced that they were ready for boarding and I said goodbye to Joan, Courtney and roshad and Ariana waited for everyone to get on the jet before embracing me in a hug "I know this isn't goodbye forever but it sure feels like it says Ariana weakly and I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed the top of Arianas head

"I hope this isn't goodbye forever, you better message me when you land and when you get home so I know you're safe says bella making Ariana giggle "I will don't worry says Ariana after letting go of me "bye bella says Ariana before running upmthe steps in her platformed Gucci sneakers and she turned around and gave a little wave and I returned one and Ariana disappeared onto her private jet and I sighed and walked back to my car and I checked my phone and saw that ari had just messaged me

Ariana: hold your head up and smile for me ,I know it's hard but it'll get easier, I promise

Bella: thanks ari, I hate goodbyes, they're the worst

Ariana: I know you do, but don't let this get to you ,I got to go but please relax and enjoy the rest of your day

Bella: I will try to ,have a safe flight back to Los Angeles 😊

Ariana: thanks

I started the car and drove back home, the radio started to play be alright by Dean Lewis and I felt the tears threaten to fall, why did this song have to play right now, I did what was right for myself and fir Ariana

[bts-bay-bee]

Jungkook’s NSFW Alphabet

Word count: 2649

Warnings: smut (obviously), a little mxm? sex toys

A/N: hi guys :) so this basically marks the end of my little hiatus. please let me know if you enjoyed this! i appreciate any and all feedback. also this is for kookie because it’s his birthday next week <3

(not important but quite possibly my favourite picture of kookie ^.^ // i also do not own this picture or any pictures used in this)

***

 A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

⭬ After sex Jungkook is very attentive to your every need: he’ll get you water, snacks, whatever you want. He enjoys being able to relax with you after a rough couple of rounds, just talking about nothing. He loves nothing more than trailing his deft fingers over your slightly sweaty skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, only to be slowly kissed away by his soft, slightly swollen lips. Eventually, after kissing each any every bruise he had marked you with, making sure that you weren’t hurt, he’d engulf you in his arms, not caring about the outside world, then fall asleep.

 B = Body part (Their favourite body part of their partners)

⭬ This boy lives for your legs. When you’re around him, he’ll practically pant with lust if you’re wearing a skirt or dress. He loves running his hands up and down the expansive of your skin, loves the way he can force you to keep your thighs spread by grabbing fistfuls of your outer thighs when he’s going down on you. Whenever he could fuck you, his primal instinct was to throw your legs over his shoulders, pounding into you until you’re completely fucked out, stopping his grunts and groans by biting down on your fleshy calves, marking you in the process.

 C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

⭬ Do you know what’s his favourite part when he’s fucking you? Painting your body with stripes of his cum. He doesn’t care where: it could be your stomach as he finished himself over you, hands working furiously, it could even be on your bare tits and face, making you swallow every single drop when he was satisfied with how laden you were with his cum. But the best way to cum was inside you: he usually found his release after you convulsed around him too many times to count, so why would he willingly leave your wet, warm cunt? He loved finishing in you, squirting hot cum on your walls as you milked him for every drop. He especially loved when he came in you during a semi-public quickie, forcing you to put back your skirt on and holding his cum in you. More than once you had to leave a dinner party or outing because he just got too turned on by knowing that his essence was probably running down your thighs.

 D = Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

⭬ He’ll never admit this to you or anyone, but he often fantasized about watching you get fucked by someone else, having you watch as he got fucked by someone else, or just a threesome (or foursome). Obviously, it would be someone exceptionally close to him, like Taehyung or Jimin, but he just didn’t know how to approach the topic with any of you.

 E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

⭬ Seeing as he was a part of one of the biggest bands to have ever existed, who came from a pretty strict company, he had not been very experienced when you had first started dating. He wasn’t a virgin – not with the amount of men and women who continuously threw themselves at him – but from watching numerous tutorial porn videos, and with the help if his Hyungs giving him advice, he quickly learned how to make you see stars.

 F = Favourite position (pretty self-explanatory)

⭬ As boring as it may sound, Jungkook doesn’t necessarily have a single favourite position: as long as he can bury himself deep in you and watch you fall apart, that’s all he needs. One of his favourites is when he’s holding you against a wall (or door, or mirror) and you’ve got your legs wrapped around him. (I had gifs here, but it got flagged, yay.)

 G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

⭬ Everyone knows that he’s basically an overgrown child, so a couple giggles here and there are bound to happen. Jungkook could have you laughing from some stupid joke to cumming with tears streaming down your face is seconds.

Let’s be real, with someone as cute as this, you’re not going to be mad about being goofy during sex

 H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

⭬ The stylists never allow a single hair to be out of place on his beautiful head, so why would the rest of his body be any different? Despite people thinking that waxing is uncomfortable, or straight up painful, he’d much rather feel half an hour of discomfort to make being buried in you just that much better.

 I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

⭬ Despite him thinking that he’s terrible at intimacy, Jungkook can easily turn any situation into a romantic one. He enjoys being able to gaze into your eyes, something that used to make both of shy, and be the one who’s forcing those pretty sounds out of your parted lips. On the rare occasion that you have a bad day, he’ll run you a bath, light a couple candles and just slowly make love to you.

 J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

⭬  With his job requiring him to be so far away from home, and so obviously you as well, he’s kind of forced into the situation. Despite being as hard as a rock with his tip dribbling rivulets of precum, he just cannot find it in himself to get off without at least hearing your voice. On more occasions than you can count, you received a phone call from a breathless Jungkook, his low, sultry voice immediately letting you know what the situation was. You tried to not picture how good he looked when his cock stood to attention, tried not to picture how delectable he looked hovering over you as he repeatedly pounded into you, making you reach places that no one has ever taken you to before, but it was just so hard not to. After hearing his moans and soft curses, you couldn’t help but get turned on yourself, eventually joining him in touching yourself until you both reach your climaxes.

 K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

⭬ God, it would be easier to say what kink he doesn’t have. He enjoys breath play to a certain extent: he would much rather prefer to choke you with his dick rather than his hands though. Many people think that they’ve got a clear read on him: either pegging him as a submissive or a dominant, yet very few people see both sides to him. On the rare occasion, he’d let you have your way with him, allowing you to edge him as many times as he could physically handle, riding him hard, before abruptly pushing yourself off of him and deepthroating him, trying to swallow the torrents of cum pulsing through his red, almost painful looking cock.

 L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

⭬ After a long day of being at the studio or learning their newest choreography, he’d almost moan out aloud when he sees you in nothing but one of his oversized shirts and your tiny thong, cooking dinner for both of you. On many occasions you ended up ordering takeout because he’d bend you over the kitchen island, fucking into you so hard that you forget that there was food on the stove. A few more favourites are the lounge, as well as the shower: the many positions he could put you in seems to be endless in his mind. One place that he really wants to try to fuck you in is the practice room: the thought of rutting into you as he forces you to look at yourself cumming is enough to make him rock hard. It doesn’t help that at any moment, Taehyung or Jimin might walk in, feeding into his dirty little fantasy.

 M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

⭬ One pretty easy way to turn him on his by wearing lingerie: show him, or even hint at the idea, that the only thing covering your pretty pussy is a scrap of lace and he’ll all but rip it off of you. The number of panties that he’s ripped is probably a worrying amount. Another rather innocent way to rile him up is by slipping on some heels: the higher, the better. Of course he’s no misogynist, and he’ll never force you to wear anything, but the fact that your legs just look so amazing in them turns him on to a point where he won’t even be able to take off any of yours or his clothes before fucking you.

 N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⭬ Jungkook will never judge anyone on their kinks – he gets turned on by thinking about having someone else fuck you, for God’s sake – but one thing he just cannot grasp is extreme age play. He’ll never want to do anything if it involves little space.

 O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

⭬ He would much rather go down on you than you go down on him. The thing is: your oral skills are just too good. When you suck him off, he is for sure going to cum before he can enter your tight, wet cunt, and why wouldn’t he want to bury himself in you? He’d much prefer eating your pussy, making you cum on his tongue, then fucking you into the mattress. Or kitchen island. Anywhere really.

 P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

⭬ There are days when you both have time and energy to take it slow: it’ll start off by a quick, innocent peck, which turns into a full-blown making out session, complete with you grinding and whimpering on his lap. He’ll strip both of you at his own leisurely pace, then slowly make love to you, running his fingers along your skin, making you moan into his ear… The only problem with this is that it’s not very often that you both have the time for this. On more days than not, you’re wrapped up in his fiery embrace, impaled on his cock while he rubs your clit in tight, fast circles. Days like this guarantees that you’re both completely spent after climaxing, barely finding the strength to move after such a rough and fast-paced session.

 Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

⭬ Listen. If you’re going to be dating Jungkook, you’re going to have to be okay with having quickies, all the time. He doesn’t differentiate between quickies and ‘proper sex’, and honestly, neither do you. Despite how movies paint sex to be slow and romantic, it often isn’t like that in real life; I mean, no one has the time for an hour of foreplay. But you need to relieve yourself, so when Jungkook comes to you with his eyes darkened and his pants tented, you all but jump at the opportunity.

 R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

⭬  As I’ve stated before, Jungkook really has a lot of kinks, so there’s very little that he wouldn’t want to at least try. If you want to try bondage, he’s game. If you want to try a sex swing, he wouldn’t even batt an eyelash. If you want to try pegging, he’d get you the, uh, equipment needed. Point is he’ll experiment with everything at least once.

 S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

⭬ So, you know how we’re always comparing him to a bunny? Let’s just say that the analogy is for more than just his looks. With all the cardio and exercise he does, it’s almost a given that he can last a long time. Paired with the horniness of a man his age, sex with him can go on for hours on end. Many a times you have ended up with numb legs and a sore pussy, the results of a horny Jungkook.

 T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

⭬  He loves toys. Yours and Jungkook’s sex life is anything but boring, and he vows it will never be. Between the two of you, you have an assortment of vibrators, cock rings, handcuffs (not the fuzzy kind – real handcuffs), a strap-on or two, and a lot of other things. The toys aren’t just meant for one of you: the vibrators can be used on your clit as well as on his cock or prostate, and the handcuffs are regularly used by him on you, but now and then you itch to restrain him and have your way with him. The only toy that Jungkook uses by himself is his fleshlight, which is exclusively used when he’s on tour.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

⭬ The only way that he’ll ever tease you is by sexting. He’ll text you all the sinful things he wants to do with you: the positions he’s going to fuck you in, the way he’s going to paint your body with his cum… But all his teasing words just get you horny, and wet enough that you’re ready for him to slip into when he finally sees you again. Jungkook could tease you the entire day, enough to have you dripping and soaking your panties, but the moment he sees you, he won’t deprive you (or him) of the delicious feeling of one another.

 V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

⭬ With a voice like his, you’d practically beg him to be as loud as he can, but this flusters him for some reason. Although you continuously reassure him that it turns you on in unimaginable ways, he’d much rather hear your moans and pants. But sometimes he just can’t help himself: not with the way you’re clenching around him, gripping onto him so tightly that he can’t even think straight. (this is what I think he sounds like - USE HEADPHONES)

 W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

⭬ Let’s say that one day, Jungkook either gets the balls to ask you to allow other people in the bedroom, or he drunkenly tells you about his dirty little secret… It ends up with him handcuffed to the bed, his mouth stuffed with Taehyung’s dick and ass stuffed with Jimin’s cock, while you bounce on his dick, a cock ring preventing him from climaxing. Tears streaming down his face, either from choking on Tae’s cock or from the overstimulation and need to cum from your pussy clenching around his dick while Jimin continuously hits his prostate. Taehyung pulls out from his mouth, leaving him gasping for air, instead turning to you and cumming on your clit and Jungkook’s toned stomach, his eyes never leaving Jungkook’s. (God, I’m editing this and why did I do this to myself, now I can’t get this idea out my head, smh)

 X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

⭬ I have nothing to say, except 

s t r o n g  p o w e r, thank you.

 Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

⭬ He’s a man in his early twenties, I’m pretty sure he’s horny 24/7. He gets turned on way too easily; you could just stretch your back and he’s pinning you on the couch, already pulling down your panties and wrapping his lips around your clit. Every day, you wake up with his morning wood pressing into you, signalling just how needy this sweet bunny is.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

⭬  Jungkook typically falls asleep fast, even without expending all that energy to fuck you until you’re screaming, so don’t expect him to stay awake for more than about twenty minutes. After he makes sure that you’re well taken care of, he pulls you to his chest and almost immediately begins snoring.

#jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagines #smut #bts #jungkook fanfiction

[illwynd]

Sort of in response to that post I reblogged the other day about plot holes. I’ve been thinking about that more, and I think there are a couple different things going on here that are sort of getting mushed together.

Like, yes, there is an annoying thing you’ll see sometimes where viewers/readers will insist that anything not explicitly explained within the text is a plot hole, regardless of whether it can be reasonably explained within the logic of the rest of the story (things where if you think about it for two seconds, you can make a solid assumption to fill in the gap) and, in cases where it’s not actually consistent with that logic, regardless of what purpose the omission serves within the arc of the narrative (things where they did it that way because you need to in order to make the story work, and it doesn’t cause any real problems besides being technically infeasible. Think space travel that occurs at the speed of plot, for a very frequent example.). The former is not a plot hole at all, and complaining about the latter is pedantic and tiresome. 

But the second category doesn’t just include those pedantic complaints. And I think a thing that is going on with a lot of media recently is creating a rise in actually valid complaints of that type, and a concurrent overall rise in all plot hole complaints as a general trend because it has become a place of focus in discussing narratives for the same reasons. 

See, the crucial caveat in my description above is “it’s what you need to make the story work.”

This requires that it, um, does work. 

If the narrative is not working for a viewer/reader, why the hell would they excuse plot holes? If the narrative’s arcs are not satisfying on an emotional level, the technical flaws of the narrative often become glaring, and you have no reason to give them a pass for enjoyment’s sake.

But like, different strokes for different folks, there’s always gonna be someone who isn’t satisfied by a particular narrative arc, so there’ll always be people who will be annoyed by those plot holes and others who won’t care about them. Nothing new there.

What is new, or at least an increasing trend, is... I mean, we are all quite aware of the whole bullshit thing where some of these really big media companies are making movies and shows that are not really concerned with creating a satisfying narrative. Showrunners who care more about outsmarting their audience than following through on the story they’ve actually set up. Film studios not letting actors read the whole script, or even know what a scene is about while they’re acting it. The rampant spoilerphobia that places the whole value of a story in whether you know the exact sequence of events rather than the emotional resonance, character arcs, or any of the other things that people can enjoy in stories. 

This is pretty much guaranteeing a situation where the audience has no choice but to pay attention to every stinkin’ plot hole, because there’s nothing else to pay attention to! The showrunners wanted us to look exclusively at their clever plot twists! Of course we’ll complain if they’re actually... not that fucking clever, but pretty stupid in fact, not to mention OOC for the characters. The studios wanted us to care only about their grand diorama of half a dozen properties and flashy action sequences and ready-made memes, with nary a satisfying emotional arc in sight! Of course we’ll be annoyed at how sloppily it’s put together. How are we supposed to react, really? We can’t focus on other aspects of the narrative when those are so completely atrophied and diminished. We can’t just ignore the gaps when there’s nothing better or more interesting to think about. It is really the creators’ own petard here. 

So yeah. That’s my conclusion. If there is a rise in complaints about plot holes, some may not be reasonable complaints, but a bunch of them are the really predictable outcome of a particular trend in recent storytelling that has hollowed out all the other parts of the narrative and left a lifeless husk. With plot holes in it. 

#meta #narratives

[kissinginkitchens]

You Bring Me Home—Chapter Two: Where the Heart Is

a/n: Thank you so much for all of the love you have shown to part one! I’m so glad to see that you’re enjoying YBMH so far, the story is just getting started. I hope you’ll stick around for the full thing, so without further ado, here’s chapter two! As always, my inbox is open so feel free to come chat with me when you have finished this part :) Much love, Mel <3

Pairing: Hawai'i!Harry x Original Character

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drug use

Word Count: 5.1k

read part one here

The phone screen flickers to life at the touch of Harry’s finger, flashing the exact same time that it had the last time he checked, though it feels like hours have passed since then. He sighs at the disappointing revelation and turns his phone over so that the screen meets the aged wood of the piano where it rests. In all honesty, Harry has no idea why he agreed to the interview in the first place. He had skillfully dodged the hundreds of requests for an exclusive tell-all following the untimely split of One Direction and successfully avoided the prying eyes of the general public for several months. So why had he indulged the first request from a girl he hardly knew without so much as a blink? The answer seemed a frustrating mystery to him, but to anyone else, the fluttering in his stomach when he caught a glimpse of her yellow Ford Bronco pulling up to the studio and the way he instinctively raked a hand through his hair gave the answer away.

“I know I’m late, I’m sorry!” Alani apologizes, emerging from the car with a notebook nestled under her arm and a smoothie in each hand. She closes the door with her hip before making a beeline to the studio entrance where Harry stands, his right shoulder leaning against the doorframe with the same stoic expression Alani recognizes as his signature look.

“I had to get my sister to cover for me at the café and then I got lost because Google sent me to a Napua restaurant instead of the recording studio,” she rambles in an attempted continuation of her apology. “But anyway, this is for you. A peace offering and a thank you for doing this.”

Harry gingerly takes the green smoothie from her outstretched hand and offers a curt nod in response before ushering her inside.Alani pushes her sunglasses up and settles them into her windswept waves, trailing behind Harry and taking in the space. In one corner across the room, she notices a couple of brightly colored tapestries thumbtacked to the wall with a microphone stand perched in the center, all encased behind a screen of plexiglass. The adjacent wall is lined with guitars all standing at attention and glimmering, despite the dim lighting. Harry stops at the doorway of another room with a couch and a coffee table, the floor littered with wires and pieces of crumpled paper. He motions Alani to step inside and then clears his throat, which catches the attention of two other long-haired men chatting with amused expressions on their faces.

“Sorry lads,” Harry crosses his arms with eyes glued to the floor to avoid their questioning stares. “‘Fraid I have to intrude. Can we have this room?” 

One of the men grins behind a full beard,  popping a peanut M&M into his mouth before standing. “Sure thing, boss man. Let’s bounce, Rowland.”

The other man, also bearded but smaller in stature with a thin, pointed nose nods silently. He continues twirling two drumsticks between his fingers and points one of them at Harry in passing. Alani offers polite smiles at the both of them, and a quiet “thank you” falls from her lips as they exit without another word. Harry closes the door behind them and gestures to the couch, which she takes as her cue to sit.

“I like the uniform,” Alani smiles, gesturing to her hair as a comment on the fact that the three men all share similar lengths and styles.

“Thanks,” is all Harry says, taking a seat across from hers and clearly dismissing her attempt at humor.

To pacify the urge to fill the uncomfortable silence, Alani sips her strawberry smoothie and steals a glance through her eyelashes at Harry who is doing the same. She clears her throat after a minute and sets the drink on the table in front of her; a notebook takes its place on her lap.

“Thank you again for doing this, I really appreciate it,” Alani offers while digging through her bag for her phone. “I’m gonna record this on voice notes, just for the sake of quoting you accurately.”

“Sure,” Harry replies, occupying his gaze with the condensation trickling from the cup onto his fading black jeans. 

Dry retorts from everyone else, especially customers, have little effect on the way Alani conducts herself.  But every short comment from Harry, or lack thereof, makes her feel like a bug under a microscope. She settles her phone onto the coffee table and takes a deep breath to calm the trembling that spreads from her chest into her fingers and toes.

“So first, I wanted to ask about your time in Hawai’i. Are you enjoying it so far?” Alani poses the question lightly, hoping to open him up just enough to extract the story that she’s really looking for.

“It’s nice,” Harry nods, finally meeting her expectant stare. When she doesn’t respond for a beat, he clears his throat and adds on to the statement. “Weather’s good,”

Alani musters a half-hearted smile and glances down at the questions on her page. This is going to take for-fucking-ever, she sighs.

“Is that what drew you here—vacation? Getting away?” 

“Yeah, pretty much,”

The row of guitars behind the singer catches her attention suddenly and guides the next question.

“And to write or.. record?”

Harry shifts in his seat, calculating his response carefully. “Both,”

“Solo stuff?”

Alani watches as he takes a slow sip of his smoothie and crosses his legs, an action which tells her that she’s struck a dead end. Or, at the very least, a door that she hasn’t gained his trust to open yet.

“You were with One Direction for half a decade,” She recovers. “Constantly releasing new music and touring. But now you’re here, doing neither, and haven’t done so for almost a year. What is that transition like?” Alani isn’t sure if Harry will answer when she poses the question, but to her surprise he meets her gaze and nods, as if to say that he accepts the inquiry.

“It’s different than anything I’ve ever done, for sure,” he starts slowly. It’d be a lie to say that he hasn’t given the breakup and, subsequently, his future outside of the band much thought. He thinks about it every day, especially his bandmates and their supportive fans. That much he has been able to unpack privately, but the rest of it—the sudden need to escape and write new music— is still something he can’t quite put into words, so he leans into the nostalgia and hopes it’ll suffice.

“Like you said, it’s been non-stop for the past five years, so I guess it is a bit jarring to come to a sudden halt after so much momentum. Obviously, it’s nice to have the time off, but I love putting out music and touring it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything,”

Alani is grateful to have more than a couple of words of material, despite the fact that it doesn’t really answer the question or tell her anything new about the man sitting crossed legged and closed off in front of her. Looking through her notes, Alani selects another question and embarks on a new angle.

“You were really young when all of that began,” she starts, thinking about how she could never have left her family and home at just 16. Hell, she was 22 and still figuring it out. Hopefully, if all things went well with this interview and Rolling Stone, she would finally find the opportunity to do it. “Do you ever think about where you would be if you hadn’t auditioned for X-Factor?”

Harry knows that she’s playing it safe, trying to feel him out and test the buttons she can push. He also knows that he’s being difficult, much more so than usual due to his nerves. So with an unfamiliar pang in his chest, he decides to relent the tiniest bit.

“Well, I’m starting to think maybe I could’ve been a professional surfer,” he offers matter-of-factly which makes Alani flash an amused grin. Harry’s sudden humor makes the room a bit less suffocating for the both of them and she’s grateful for it.

“Surfing, huh? This I have to see.” she  quips back, suddenly trying to picture him ditching the black skinny jeans for a wetsuit.

He nods with a faint smirk. “Maybe you will.” 

Alani meets his gaze with a shy smile of her own and her eyes fall to his lips for a brief second. The almost imperceptible action sends another foreign jolt through Harry’s chest. She opens her mouth to resume questioning when a loud bang startles them both and causes Harry to spin in his seat, looking through the glass window of the sound booth.

“Sorry!” A man with short, blonde hair and a fading tie dye shirt laughs while lifting the tipped over drum cymbals. “Don’t mind us!”

The two men from earlier straggle in behind and poorly conceal their own fits of laughter. Harry flashes his middle finger briefly, mouthing something that Alani can’t see but knows is undoubtedly rude. She suppresses a giggle and sneaks a glance at her phone, which indicates only a few minutes worth of dialogue. When she lifts her head, the door opens and the blonde man peeks his head in.

“Hello,” he greets with an extended hand before entering and taking a seat next to Alani on the couch. “Tom Hull, or Kid Harpoon...or just Tom, whatever you like best,” 

 She accepts his hand eagerly, not missing the way Harry pinches the bridge of his nose in her peripheral vision. “Mahealani Hale, or just Alani. Nice to meet you,”

“Wow, beautiful name,” Tom compliments. “Sorry to interrupt, I didn’t realize you had company, H,”

“She was just—”

“I’m writing about-” The two speak at the same time, making brief eye contact before Harry turns his attention back to Tom.

“Did you need something?” He asks. Tom’s eyes dart between Harry and Alani before he clears his throat and reclines in his seat.

“Just dropping by to see if you wanted to go for lunch...” he trails off, which Alani takes as a cue to start gathering her belongings.

“Kind of busy here,” Harry offers with a glance back at the girl seated awkwardly across from him. “Another time,”

At this, Tom turns to Alani and ignores his friend’s protests. “Alani, do you eat lunch?”

Before responding, she casts an apprehensive glimpse at Harry who has suddenly become very intrigued by the drink in his lap, purposefully avoiding her eyes.

“Uh.. well yeah, but I don’t-”

“Great! Have lunch with us,”

“Mate—” Harry speaks up.

Tom grins, shrugging. “What? You plan on starving the poor girl?”

“I really can’t, but thank you for the offer,” Alani explains with a sheepish smile, standing and slinging her bag over her shoulder. “It was really nice to meet you Tom. And thank you again, Harry, I’ll see you around.”

The musician watches her shuffle out of the sound booth quietly and turns his attention back at Tom, who sits with an incredulous look on his face.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” He asks, standing. “Go after her, dickhead!”

“It’s not like that she’s-”

“I really don’t give a fuck about your excuses, go!”

Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes, looking out the window as Alani slips through the front door.

She fishes her keys out of her bag and sighs when a familiar voice says her name.

“Alani!” Harry calls from the doorway, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun. He makes his way down the steps and over to the driver’s side where she  ghosts the key over the ignition. 

“Come have lunch...please?” 

“It’s okay,” she purses her lips together politely. “I don’t wanna get in the way,”

Harry catches his lower lip between his teeth and runs a hand through his hair, choosing his next words thoughtfully. 

“No, you’re not—you won’t,” he starts. “I would really like it if you joined us for lunch, especially since our time got interrupted. Please, let me make it up to you.”

Alani can’t help the way her stomach flips at the words “our time” that fall from his lips and she finds herself nodding in agreement before her mind has had a chance to intervene. 

She makes her way to the passenger seat of the Range Rover parked behind the studio, which she learns is where all of Harry’s entourage keeps their vehicles. A variety of brightly colored vintage cars are neatly parked, and it amuses her that Harry skips all of them, instead going straight for the black SUV with darkly tinted windows. At least he’s consistent,  she smirks. As Alani climbs into the car, she is met by the warmth of Harry’s scent—something woodsy and vanilla— and the fact that she recognizes it makes her heart pound.

“You can connect your phone,” Harry nods to the stereo as he buckles his seatbelt. “To the Bluetooth, I mean, if you’d like.”

 “Really?” she asks, brow raised in mild disbelief.

“Only if you play something good,” he teases with a stony expression, adjusting the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. Alani takes that as a challenge, scrolling through various playlists as Harry peels away onto the main road. Over the speakers, the beginning of “Don’t Worry Baby” by The Beach Boys surrounds the two of them. 

“Is this to your liking, my liege?” Alani poses in an exaggerated British accent that makes Harry cringe, though the small grin on his face gives away his endearment.

“Yes, but please don’t do that accent ever again,” 

“So you admit it, you’re the one with the accent,” she wiggles her brows, eyes peeling away  from the view out her window to Harry in the driver’s seat.

“If it’ll get you to never do that one again, sure,” “Dunno, love,” she continues, watching the coast shimmer under the afternoon sun. “Think  it kinda suits me,”

Harry shakes his head and checks the rearview mirror to make sure that he hasn’t lost Tom, Mitch, and Jeff in the car trailing behind.

“What’s it like?” Alani questions, studying the perfect slope of his pointed nose and strawberry pout.

“What’s what like?”

“England,”

Harry thinks for a second, recalling his London flat, lunches with his mum and sister, the streets of Trafalgar Square, and Abbey Road. 

“Rainy,” is all he says.

Alani scoffs, which draws  his attention over to where she lounges in his passenger seat, sitting comfortably as if it was exactly where she belonged. “That’s all?”

“What?” He questions, though he knows exactly what she means and is perfectly aware of his own stubbornness.

“Just seems like... I don’t know, such a generic description for a place you consider home,”

Harry mulls her response over, the word “home” especially catching his interest. It’s a strange concept in his mind because while, yes, England is where he has spent the majority of his life and where the people he loves most reside, he has never truly felt connected to just one place. And after spending his formative years traveling the world, who could blame him?

“It’s... safe,” he tries again, attempting to verbalize what he’s feeling. “When I’m there, I mean, I feel safe. Like I don’t have to be anyone or do anything specific, I can just... be. No expectations,”

Alani lets Harry’s words sit between them for a moment, sensing that there is still more he wants to say. When she doesn’t respond after a minute,  he continues in an effort to clarify and fill the lull in the conversation.

“I used to think that London was just a starting point and that if I could make it to LA, it would mean that I had really made it, and I would feel more at home there,” he continues, slow and calculated. “But I dunno... when I’m there it still feels like an extended holiday,  like I’m just buying time until I leave for the next place. London doesn’t feel like that, feels much more constant... so yeah, I guess it is home,” 

As if she had read his mind earlier, Alani adds on. “Not to mention that’s where your family is, I’m assuming,” 

Harry nods, once again thinking of his mum and sister. The image of their beaming faces  brings the shadow of a dimple to his cheek.  “Yeah,”

“What’s your family like?” She continues, truly interested and forgetting for a moment about the article she still has to write.

“Kind of small, I guess. S’really just my sister and my mum, but they’re,” Harry pauses, searching for the right words, “They’re the best. My mum’s probably the kindest woman I’ve ever met. Feel pretty lucky with that one, considering what a pest I was as a child,” he chuckles lightly and it’s a sound that Alani hadn’t heard up to this point, but one she knows she’ll replay in her mind over and over again.

“Gem’s pretty patient too—and brilliant, always the studious one,” he adds finally, a dreamy look on his face that Alani much prefers to the stoic one he always dons. .

“Ah yes, there’s always one,” she nods, catching the quirked brow he offers in response.

“Oh yeah? Are you the one in your family?” 

“I guess so. School just seemed to come easily to me,”

“And what made you want to study journalism?” He questions, stopping to let a woman and her toddler cross.

Alani thinks about it for a moment while twirling a strand of fabric from the hem of her ripped shorts around her finger. 

“I’ve always loved to write, ever since I was really little— like short stories and stuff. And I don’t know, I guess I like the idea of traveling and seeking out a story, too.”

Harry nods understandingly, pulling up to a curb across the street from a restaurant that Alani has frequented. It’s relatively empty at Pineapples for a summer afternoon, though most tourists don’t stray too far from the beaches, so Hilo maintains a healthy local population at all times. The pair climb out of the car and Alani makes her way to the rear where the rest of the group has parked. One of the men from earlier greets her with an outstretched hand while Harry chats with the other two that emerge.

“Hi I’m Jeff, it’s nice to meet you.” He smiles warmly,  pushing his sunglasses into his hair. 

“Alani. It’s nice to meet you, Jeff,”

“Sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be rude by not saying hi it’s just-”

Alani dismisses his concern with a wave of her hand. “Oh don’t worry about it! I was kind of nervous then, too. I don’t know if he told you, but I’m interviewing Harry,”

“Oh, right! Yeah, he did mention that I think,” Jeff recalls, “Which magazine are you with?”

“None.” Yet, Alani thinks, her mind wandering to the Rolling Stone rejection letter. “It’s for a class, I’m a journalism major. Harry was just being nice and agreed to let me write about his music,”

Jeff nods. “Got it. You know, he’s not normally this serious. Just got a lot on his mind but he’ll loosen up,” he explains quietly just as Alani and Harry’s eyes meet. She quickly averts her gaze back to the kind, bearded man standing before her.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” she smiles appreciatively.

“Where’s Jeffrey?” Harry speaks up, catching her attention. She looks back to Jeff, confused, before he shakes his head.

“Other Jeff, his manager.” He explains.

“Probably already inside, he said he’d meet us here.” Mitch pipes up.

With that, the rest of the crew head into the restaurant while Alani stays a few steps behind to follow their lead.

“Y’okay?” Harry asks, shuffling along beside her.

Alani startles slightly at his unexpected presence, but relaxes as their strides fall into sync.

“Yeah, thanks. And thank you for the invite, too.” She offers, the corners of her mouth upturned softly.  Harry responds with a tight-lipped smile of his own and clears his throat before holding the door open for her.

In the far corner of the restaurant near the open balcony, Harry’s manager Jeff waves the group over to the table he saved. Everyone exchanges greetings and settles into their seats, the two at the end facing each other remain open for Alani and Harry.

“Jeff, this is..Mahealani, did I get that right?” Tom gestures to Alani for approval.

She nods and waves. “Yes, but you can just call me Alani,”

“Nice to meet you,” Jeff calls from the other end of the table, glancing over to Harry in search of  an explanation for her presence.

“I’m writing a piece about Harry and his music,” Alani offers. “But I’d love to talk to all of you, if you have a chance.”

Jeff nods, still shooting Harry a knowing look. “Yeah, sure thing.” 

The two Jeffs, Tom, and Mitch engage in their own conversations, mostly inside jokes that go over Alani’s head. Harry watches, silent for most of the interaction and barely engaging the girl seated across from him, though he is overwhelmingly aware of her presence. When the server comes to take their order, warmth floods to Alani’s cheeks.

“Alani, hey!” the tall server greets, flashing a handsome, pearly-white smile. “Long time, no see. You’re looking good as always,”

“Mahalo, David. You look good, as well,” She smiles politely, catching onto the way that Harry sits a little straighter in her peripheral vision. David still pays no regard to the rest of the table, but his gaze momentarily flickers over Harry and sizes him up before returning to Alani.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were on a date,” he apologizes, which makes Alani’s eyes bulge  and Mitch snicker beside her. 

“Oh no, we’re not—“

“He’s just—” Alani and Harry speak at the same time, eyes darting to one another before she explains.

“I’m... working on something—an article,” she says, and David nods understandingly.

“Oh...right. Big-shot reporter, I almost forgot,” David teases in a snide way that makes Harry’s blood boil with annoyance. “Anyways, what can I get you all? The usual for you, right Alani?”

She nods curtly while the rest of the group take turns ordering. After the server has gone,  Harry notices a shift in her easy-going demeanor and decides that it’s his turn to break the ice.

“Come here often then?” He poses gently, taking a sip of his lemonade.

Her lips press into a tight line as her eyes wander to the other patrons. “Yeah, kinda,”

“Asshole ex-boyfriend ruined that, I’m guessing?”

Alani lets out an amused breath and shakes her head.

“He’s not my ex. I mean we went out, like, once in high school... and maybe a handful of times in college but that’s it, really,” 

Harry studies the uneasiness in her expression trying, and failing, to understand what she’s holding back.

“Seems like you dodged a bullet,” he confides, leaning in. Alani’s eyes meet his and her pursed lips ease into a small grin, which Harry mirrors with a simper of his own. As he rests his smooth chin in his palm, she notices a large, healing scab along the underside of his forearm, and her brows furrow.

“How’d that happen?” Alani asks.

“He jumped out a window,” Mitch intervenes. “Though to be fair, he was high,”

Harry shoots a deathly glare at Mitch and turns back to Alani. “It was a one-time thing.”

“It was shrooms,” Mitch replies with an amused smirk.

“Hardcore,” Alani giggles lightly. 

Mitch swirls the straw in his mimosa with his index finger while extending a pinky at Alani. “You do drugs?”

She shrugs, taking a sip of her Mai Tai. “Smoked weed a few times, though not enough to consider myself a pothead, I guess,”

Mitch snorts and steals a glance at Harry. “Pot makes our boy sleepy, and hungry. Alcohol makes him giggly. Shrooms get him buzzed just right,”

Harry’s cheeks flush and he averts his gaze past Alani where families and visitors roam the streets outside. 

“Jumping out a window’s  ‘just right’? I’d hate to see what going overboard looks like.” she teases, watching the blush of embarrassment creep across the bridge of Harry’s nose and cheeks.

“Keeps things interesting.” Mitch shrugs, turning back to Jeff to join his previous conversation.

 Alani feels a strange sense of endearment wash over her at the thought of a giggly Harry, dimples replacing a deeply furrowed brow. In the short time she’d known and served him at the café, she’d only ever seen him reserved—polite, at best. Alani had hoped that interviewing Harry would provide some insight into his mysterious background, but she didn’t imagine that she would want to know more than what could be penned in her article. In the few minutes spent mingling with him and his friends, she began to think that maybe there was something worth getting to know, not just professionally, but before she can give it a second thought, David returns with their food.

“Thanks, Derek.” Harry says, flashing a facetious grin at David who stands confused for a second before sauntering back to the kitchen. Alani laughs, quickly clasping a hand over her mouth, and Harry’s stomach flips at the sound. He immediately wishes he knew what else he could do to hear it again.

Alani scrapes the last bits of potato off her plate and leans back in her seat, patting her growing food baby. 

“I’m thinking of naming mine Oliver, you?” She sighs contentedly. 

“Anne, after my mum,” he quips back, pulling out his wallet.

Alani reaches into her bag for her own, but Harry shakes his head and speaks up. “Don’t worry about it, ‘s on me,”

“Oh, no Harry you really don’t have to—”

“I don’t mind,” he shrugs, slipping his card onto the small clipboard attached to their receipts.

“Thank you,” Alani smiles, feeling warmth spread through her limbs, but she assumes that it’s mostly due to the rum in her system.

Harry pushes a lock of hair behind his ear and returns the wallet to his back pocket without another word. While there is no alcohol coursing through his blood, he refuses to believe that the burning in his cheeks has anything to do with the girl seated before him.

Alani climbs back into the passenger’s seat of the SUV while Harry settles behind the wheel. He braces his right hand behind the headrest of her seat and skillfully reverses, only becoming aware of their proximity when he turns back to switch gears. Alani peels her eyes from his and focuses on finding a playlist for their journey back to the studio, her mind racing as she clicks shuffle. Harry’s arm retreats, much to Alani’s disappointment, and his ears perk up when he hears the familiar chimes at the beginning of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everywhere”.

“‘S a good one,” Harry breaks the silence, tapping on the steering wheel. “Christine always says it’s her favorite,”

“Christine...McVie?” Alani questions with an eyebrow quirked. “You know Christine McVie?”

“Kind of,” he shrugs, the corners of his lips twitching into a smirk.

“Do you know Stevie Nicks?”

“Yeah. She lives in London,”

“Holy shit!” Alani marvels, covering her mouth in excitement.

Harry chuckles lightly, stealing a glance over at Alani still processing the news. “Big fan?” 

She whips her head away from the window and scoffs. “Massive. Named my car Stevie, actually,”

“Hardcore,” Harry teases, echoing her own comment about his psychedelic escapades.

“Yes, Mr. Spider-Man. In my own right, I suppose it is hardcore,” Alani retorts.

“I thought  Spider-Man climbed buildings. Don’t think he jumped out of them.”

“I’m sure he’s done his fair share of both.”

The two drive down the coast for a while without a word, Harry drumming against the steering wheel as the song dies out while Alani soaks in the view outside her window. Suddenly, she reaches over and taps him on the arm, drawing him out of his reverie. 

“Turn right up there!”

“Why?” Harry asks, already putting his blinker on. 

Alani doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to. Harry saw it just seconds after turning into the lookout and it left him breathless. The car comes to a stop and Alani wastes no time unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping into the humid air, Harry close behind. Before them, the biggest rainbow either of them had ever seen shimmers in the high afternoon sun like a wall of unbelievable vibrant hues. Harry had never seen one this close, he felt as though he could reach out and feel each color slip through his fingers. 

“Are you making a wish?” Alani asks reverently, as if raising her voice too loud will spook it away. 

“I thought that was for shooting stars,”

“We’re literally staring face to face with a rainbow and you’re gonna argue with me about the logistics of a wish?”

“Okay, okay,” he relents, grinning to himself as his eyes flutter close. 

Harry takes a deep breath and searches his brain for something, anything, but there is only one word pounding in his mind. He doesn’t know why it stood out to him when Alani first said it, but it struck a chord within him that hasn’t stopped reverberating, so it must mean something. Harry swallows the lump forming at the back of his throat and releases the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. When his eyes flutter open again, he steals a peek through the corner of his eye at the girl beside him and then fixes his gaze back on the rainbow. 

“S’quite big, innit?” He remarks, breaking the reverent silence. 

Alani snorts and shakes her head, turning on her heel back to the car. 

“You’re so eloquent. Can’t wait to hear what lyrical gems are hiding in your new album,”

“Heyyy,” Harry pouts, climbing behind the wheel. “Who said anything about an album?” 

As they peel away from the lookout, Harry can sense something has shifted in the atmosphere, though he can’t quite put his finger on it. He opts to ignore it and poses a lighthearted question instead. 

“What’d you wish for?”

Alani narrows her eyes playfully. “You’re not supposed to tell. It won’t come true.”

Harry hums, trying to imagine what she could possibly wish for that would require such secrecy, but his thoughts wander back to the singular word that has haunted his mind since it left her lips. 

Home.

Next Chapter

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #harry styles writing #harry fic #ybmh

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Ch 12

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: Work work and meeting the lead Fashion designer at BigHit Previous Chapter here You arrived back at 1802 and put away the groceries. True to his word, Yoongi had let you carry all the bags back while he stuffed his cold hands deep into his coat. 

“What’s tomorrow’s schedule look like?” He asked, collapsing down onto the couch.

You took out your phone. “You have a meeting with Adora at 10 am. It looks like the conference room on the 24th floor has already been reserved by Jiwoo. Other than that, not much. You have your afternoon blocked out.”

“Cool.” He scrolled through his phone.

You walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out your leftovers. “Do you want anything while I’m in here?” You asked.

“No. I don’t eat a lot.” He responded. 

You put your food on a plate and positioned yourself at the barstool. “Do you know the person who is retiring on Saturday?” You asked right before taking a bite of your food.

“Just casually. He’s been here forever. He was BPD’s assistant for a long time and then took a less intense position these past couple of years. I think he works in the gallery as a docent.”

“There’s a gallery? Jesus, this building has everything.” You said amazed.

“It has a lot. I haven’t been. They change the exhibits every few months.”

You took your phone out and researched the gallery a bit. How interesting. You added your meeting with Jimin to your calendar and added a few other personal items for next week. 

You got up and rinsed your plate and then set the coffee maker for the morning. “Alright dude, I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the groceries.” 

He looked up from his phone. “You’re already going to bed? I thought you were a night owl?” 

You shrugged. “ I think I’m making up for years of sleep deprivation honestly. I’m sure I’ll be back to it in no time. Plus you know, mild panic attack earlier.”

“Ah right. Sorry about that again. Good night,” He said.

You gave a small smile and realized about halfway down the hallway that your heart was racing. Hey. Calm down. You’re the one in charge here. 

Yoongi got up from the couch. He wouldn’t be tired for hours. He would normally go back to the studio, but after your confession earlier he didn’t want to leave you alone in case Jin’s crazy girlfriend was still around and going to start screaming again. He sighed and went up to the loft area, pulling out his laptop. He could work some from here he supposed. 

----------

You woke up and threw on your robe. Shuffling out to the kitchen you saw that coffee was missing from the pot, indicating that Yoongi had already started his day. You grabbed a mug and headed back to your room to get ready. 

When you arrived at your desk you were pleasantly surprised to see some stationary had been left on your desk, as well as a small plant. Huh, cute. You sat down and answered the usual round of emails, confirmed events, and made a list of things you would need to check with Yoongi before answering. 

Y/N: Hey! I have some questions I need to ask you before I answer some emails. Are you available? Also do you need me to attend the 10am with you? 

Y: come in. 

You smiled and walked around the corner to the studio. You tried to turn the handle and it was locked. You smirked and keyed in the code. 

"Good morning," you said, closing the door behind you. 

"Did you sleep OK?" he asked, not turning around from the computer monitors. 

"I did. Thanks. I didn't bring coffee, would you like me to go grab some?"

"No, it’s fine." He responded. 

You walked closer and perched yourself on the edge of the couch closest to him. You sat down your pen and paper. He was clearly in the middle of something. 

He pushed a few more buttons on the console and hit play, a beat suddenly filled the studio. It sounded good to you, but all you knew about music was that you liked to dance to it. You watched as he listened to it with his entire body. He hit stop. 

"Ugh… It's still not right. Fuck." he slid his hands down his jeans 

"I can come back later if it's better for you. I didn't want to interrupt." 

He spun around in the chair. "No. You're fine. What did you need to ask me?" 

“Namjoon sent a list of artists who have expressed an interest in collaborating with you. He wants you to pick your top 3. Here," you handed him the list. 

Yoongi took the paper and looked over it boredly. So many people were just interested in collaboration for their own sake; using him to get their music recognized. People always fucking using him. He could feel himself starting to get angry and took a deep breath. 

"Hey. We can do this later, ok? What do you need from me for your meeting? Anything?"  You could tell this was bothering him but had no idea why. 

Yoongi looked up at you. Weren't you also using him? For the money? The idea flashed across his mind for a moment before he told himself to shut up. 

He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Here. " He got a pen and circled 3.

You took the paper back. "Oooo Post Malone? That would be sick. I actually haven't really listened to your music yet," you mused as you looked at the other two artists he had circled.

Yoongi felt himself relaxing more as you began to talk. "No?" he made a tch sound, "You'll have to listen sometime." 

"Oh yeah?” Your eyes flicked back up to him. “Make me a mixtape. Your ‘best of’." 

Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling like he was in middle school. "You want me to make you a mixtape?" 

"Yep." You smiled. "OK. Your meeting with Adora is in fifteen minutes. What do you need?" 

He thought for a few seconds. "I just need my laptop and some headphones. You don't need to come, she and I will just be listening to music. If we end up back down here I'll let you know." Yoongi got up to start collecting his things. 

"Alright. Sounds good. I'll see you later." You let yourself out and emailed Namjoon Yoongi's choices. You watched as he walked past you to the elevators. 

Yoongi tried to make sure he didn't look at you as he walked past. He didn't want to seem like a creep. But last night, the more he thought about what you had told him, the more upset he got about it. While his family wasn't supportive of his goals, theirs was from a place of concern. And they were never violent or even the type to yell. 

Yoongi knew there was nothing he could have done. He didn't even live in the same city as you growing up. He didn't know you when you guys were kids. But he found himself wishing he did. That there could have been a way for him to have protected you from that. He sighed, remembering that this morning the first thing he thought about was you, and if you were safe. What was happening to him? He got on the elevator and headed on up to his meeting. 

You responded to Jiwoo's email regarding personalized stationery. You had selected your initials with the Genius Lab logo in the bottom. The sample version you designed made you feel proud. You had asked if Yoongi also had stationary and he did not. So you ordered some for him as well. 

Before you knew it, your stomach was growling. As though your mind was being read your phone pinged. 

J: There's Food trucks out front. Let's goooo! 

YN: what kind? 

JK: I'm stuck at a shoot, grab me something and bring it to the 11th floor and I'll love you forever 

YN: Is this a group chat? 

J: welcooooome. Meet me in the lobby! 

YN: Ok. 

You took the elevator down and saw Jimin’s beautiful blonde locks from across the lobby. 

"Happy Friday, gorgeous!" he greeted you. "On Fridays food trucks sometimes park along this street." He explained, gesturing through the glass windows to several food trucks waiting. 

"Oh my God. Is that a crepe truck?" you asked. 

"Yep. Let's get a few different things and share. V just texted and he's saving us a seat in the cafeteria." 

All of a sudden you wanted to cry. You had friends that texted you and wanted to eat with you? This was too good to be true. What was the catch? You found yourself wondering. 

"Hey. YN. Are you ok? Here, we can use the company card if you're worried since you just started here." Jimin tried to guess what might be bothering you. 

"What?" you asked, confused for a minute. "No. I'm sorry. I'm just so happy you guys included me, I was frozen with happiness." 

Jimin laughed. "You are too cute. I don't know why Namjoon thinks you're secretly a dominatrix". He walked over towards the exit. 

"Wait what? Your boss called me that?" you chased after him.

Jimin kept laughing "No no. Just how he's glad someone's finally whipping Yoongi into shape. I added the dominatrix part." The two of you lined up for crepes. 

You felt a little annoyed. You weren’t making Yoongi do anything. "Pshhh, whatever. I'm just nice to him. I ask him nicely to do things and he does them if he wants to." 

"Sure, sure." Jimin teased. "Hey let's split up so we can get food twice as fast." 

"Sounds good," you agreed. 

You felt your phone vibrate and you took it out. 

Y: Hey. Still in the meeting. We won't be breaking for lunch and I don't want you to wait on me. Not that you would. But just in case. 

Aww how nice of him. 

YN:OK, thanks! Make sure to eat something this afternoon. You didn't eat dinner last night. 

Y: k 

You ordered several crepes and waited for Jimin to meet you back by the lobby entrance. He had gone to a kimchi truck , ordering many different food items as well. You made your way to the 3rd floor, home to the cafeteria and gym. It seemed so evil to have these two on the same floor you thought.

You guys walked in with Jimin looking around for V. Having found him, the two of you walked over. He already had a sizeable amount of food on the table. 

“Hey guys.” He smiled, reaching out to take some of the food from your hands.

“This one is for Yoongi,” You said as you sat down and placed one of the containers next to you, away from the center.

“That’s so sweet of you.” V said.

“It’s nothing. Oh, aren’t you supposed to take food to your other friend?” You asked Jimin who had just returned from grabbing napkins and chopsticks.

“Yeah, he’s still in the shoot. We’ll just take him a few bites from each dish. You haven’t met Jungkook yet have you?”

The three of you started divvying up food onto bowls and plates. “No. I’ve seen pictures of him in magazines and stuff, but I haven’t had the honor yet.”

“He’s a good kid.” V said.

“He’s a grown ass man.” Jimin retorted.

V rolled his eyes. “The point remains. He’s coming to the party on Saturday so I’m sure you’ll meet him then.”

Silence filled the table as you all started to shovel food into your faces.

“So what dorm did they put you in?” Jimin asked through bites of food.

Shit. You did not want to tell them that you were living with Yoongi. For so many reasons. But you didn’t want to lie to your new friends. 

“I’m in a private room. I think since Yoongi keeps unconventional hours they wanted me to not bother the other girls.” You said and then stuffed a crepe into your mouth.

“That makes sense. A lot of the models are also in private smaller apartments too since we have to fly in and out of the country at strange hours,” V said. “Jimin and I live across the hall from each other on the 20th floor.”

“That’s how we became such good friends. We kept running into each other on the way to the gym and cafe. It was…” Jimin took a deep breath and dramatically paused, “DESTINY.” He reached out his hand. V laughed and the linked pinkies for a split second.

“Alright, I have to get back to work. I’ll see you later Jimin. See you tomorrow Y/N.” Tae said as he gathered up some of this trash and stood up.

“Later.” You waved.

Jimin packed up the rest of the food and some utensils to deliver to JK. “Alright, let’s go deliver some lunches.” 

The two of you exited the cafeteria. “Ugh. Why is the gym next to the cafeteria.” You lamented once more.

“I know. In the morning they make bread and it’s all I can smell when I work out. I hate it.” Jimin stepped onto the elevator with you following. “What did you get Yoongi?”

“Kimchi crepe. I had one as well. It was good. If he doesn’t want it, I’ll eat it.”

The elevator arrived at the 11th floor. “Alright babe, see you in a little while.”

“Thanks again for the lunch invite.” You smiled as the doors closed. You sighed and took out your phone.

YN: I grabbed you some food from the food trucks. I’m getting ready to put it in the break room unless you want it somewhere else. I have a 2pm meeting but will be available by text. 

You dropped the food off and stopped by your desk. You answered more emails and soon it was almost time to go meet Jimin again. You went back to the apartment and changed into leggings and a tank top. You threw a sweater on over it and headed down to the 6th floor. 

The first thing you noticed about the 6th floor looked like a rainbow vomited all over it. The colors were all over the place, you looked around for Jimin and not seeing him you sat down on a large orange sofa under a large graffiti-style painting that said JHOPE FASHION.

You heard the clack of heels a few seconds later. 

"Yoongi's assistant! " A voice happily shouted, belonging to the man who had escorted you to your apartment a few nights ago. Today he was dressed in an immaculate pinstripe suit that looked normal, save for the psychedelic dress shirt poking out from under his jacket and the lime green socks you could barely see. 

You stood up, "Hey. Nice to see you again." 

"I'm so sorry. I forgot your name." He said.

"Ah. Same actually. I'm YN." 

" Hoseok. Jimin is running a bit late but he told me you would be stopping by  Come along." he quickly turned and headed down the bright hallway. 

You followed him down the kaleidoscope-inspired hallway and entered a bright open room. There were several other people in there. The room was lined with mirrors and pedestals. People who you could only assume were models were having alterations done. 

You followed Hoseok over to one of the empty pedestals where he stopped to turn and look at you.

"Alright, do you have other clothes? Because I can not see your figure with that sweater on." He got straight to the point. 

"Oh. Yes of course." You awkwardly removed your garment. He took the sweater from you and sat it on a small purple chair.

"Stand." He gestured to a small pedestal and offered you his hand 

You climbed up on the raised platform while Hoseok studied your body. It felt invasive and awkward, but at the same time, normal because everyone else in the room was having the same thing done. You felt almost like a model for a few seconds.

"Hey girl. You're getting the full JHope experience today I see." You heard a familiar voice. You turned your head and saw Jimin walking over holding some Boba tea. 

He handed one to Hoseok. He looked up at you, "Sorry. No drinks near the merch." 

"She's not getting the full JHope experience, I would never do that with Yoongi's assistant." Hoseok teased Jimin. You weren't quite sure what he was talking about, but you could take a guess. 

He continued his lap around you, eyeing you predatorily. He paused for a moment, staring at your backside more intently. 

" Hey, get away from my ass." You scolded. Jimin lost his shit and started cackling. 

Suddenly very serious, Hoseok remarked, "I have to figure out which cut of jeans will look the best in that ass so I'm going to look at it. If you want me to style you, you have to be prepared, Y/N." 

"Sorry, he's a little intense. But he also just said he's not going to try to sleep with you, so your ass is safe." Jimin said, having regained some of his composure. 

You scowled. "Oh yea? Is that what the full experience is?" 

"You two need to quiet yourselves." Hoseok was back to looking at you.

You blinked for a second, suddenly putting two and two together. 

"You're THE JHope of JHOPE fashion house." 

Hosoek’s eyes flicked up to you. "One and the same."

JHope fashion was known for its mixture of traditional clothing with bold and colorful patterns. 

"Well then, please sir. Look at my ass." You teased. 

To your surprise, he started to laugh and clapped his hands. "You are funny. OK. Step down. You and Soojin are about the same body type. Let me pull her wardrobe and see what we have." He walked back towards a bright green door and disappeared behind it. 

Jimin smiled while looking around the room. “So. What do you think?”

“I feel like I’m in a Kdrama to be honest.” You responded. “Small town girl moves to big city. Boy feels bad for her and gives her clothes. Girl begins new life. You know the genre.”

“Haha yeah. Are you from a small town?”

“No. I’m from Busan and I’ve lived in Seoul for the past 7 years.” 

Hoseok walked out the door carrying a few clothing items. “Here. I don’t have time to do alterations or anything but take these home and try them on. There are samples of different styles of clothes: jeans, different styles of skirts and dresses, shirts, jackets. For Saturday try on some of the printed dresses. It’s a barbecue restaurant so if you spill sauce you want it to be on a pattern so it blends in better and doesn’t stand out.” 

“Ok, thanks.” you stepped down and took the hangers from him. “When should I return these by?”

“These are marked as trash. So if they don’t fit you, you can donate them. If they fit you, keep them.”

“Really?” You asked, still in disbelief. “Like. For free. Just take these?”

“Yep.” Hoeseok said. “Just don’t go around telling everyone in the building. We get a tax write off for defects so we can’t have all of the clothing walking off. This is because Jimin said you’re cool.” 

You looked over at Jimin who was blushing slightly. “Thanks Jimin.”

“It’s nothing. Hey, do you have my clothes ready?” He asked, seeming to remember that he also came here for something.

“No. JK’s shoot went over. He’s been working out too much and he busted out of one of his shirts. We had to remake one on the fly and it took my free time. I’ll bring it by tonight.”

Your eyes bugged out slightly and you tried to not imagine the model who you had only seen photos of busting out of a shirt. It didn’t work though.

“You're so lucky.” Jimin pouted.

“I was too busy being annoyed to appreciate his physique.” Hoseok retorted. “Anyways, I need to get back to work. I’ll see you two tomorrow. Now shoo.” He gestured over to the door.

You grabbed your sweater off the chair and headed back towards the elevators with your new stash in tow. Next stop: your closet.  NEXT CHAPTER @lidda​  @anpanman-sonyeondan   @firefairy1  @cuteipat​  @sugaslittlekookies​  @janeelizabeth1216​ @deeepvibes​ @gxldenhunny​

#suga x you #yoongi imagine #bts yoongi x reader #bts suga x you #suga x reader #bts fic #bts writing #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #suga x y/n #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader

[aww-writing-no]

For @winterhawkbingo Round 3, Square I1: Messy Hair

Ao3 Link

Pas de deux:

Clint was lying on the floor of the dance studio, legs pointed up and flat against the wall in a stretch when the ballet master walked in the room.

“Good morning class,” she greeted the assembled dancers. “As I’m sure you saw on the schedule, today we’ll be working on the Captain America Pas de deux. Clint, you’ll be Captain America as usual, but I want to try out Bucky as Agent Carter.”

Clint bent his knees and pushed off the wall in a backwards somersault before turning to face Bucky with a smile. Bucky was normally part of the corps and occasionally soloed, so this was an exciting opportunity for him to show what he was capable of in a principal role.

Dimitri, who usually partnered Clint as Agent Carter, clapped and whooped. “You got this Bucky!”

Bucky smiled nervously and wiped his hands on his shorts before taking his place in the corner of the studio, feet moving into fifth position as he waited for the count to start. Clint stood up and walked to the center of the room, crossing his arms over his chest before kneeling on the ground and bowing his head.

They went through the dance slowly, with many stops and starts as they worked on different elements and got used to each other as partners. Bucky was a good partner, trusting Clint’s support as well as having a good sense of comedic timing. Clint had been paired with a lot of different dancers over the years as the company’s premier Captain America, and the Captain America Pas de Deux was one of their signature dances because it was such a well known piece.

There were certainly no bad dancers in Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, but some of them had to work harder than others at the comedic element. Bucky was not one of those, Clint could tell as Bucky did a tours en l’air, coming down on one knee as he pointed his fingers like a gun in Clint’s direction.

Clint jumped, doing a soubresaut in mock surprise, before dropping to the ground and rolling away, finally coming to a stop with his limbs splayed on the floor. He closed his eyes and stayed that way until the ballet master came over and nudged him with her foot.

“Up, up,” she commanded, “we cannot just nap on the studio floor, Clinton.”

“Ughhhhh,” Clint groaned, levering himself off the floor and waiting for her next instruction.

After they finished running through the piece twice, the ballet master clapped her hands and said, “Now, with the music!”

Clint grinned and hurried to his starting position. This was the fun part.

One of the other dancers hit the music and Clint, head bowed, assumed the part of Captain America as he completed his vita-ray treatment. Across the room, Bucky would be lifting his head and straightening his shoulders, transforming himself into the sure-of-herself Agent Carter.

Clint lifted his head as the music swelled, watching Bucky’s quick steps as he did a pas de bourrée towards him. Bucky dipped in an arabesque penché, reaching out his right hand to lay it on Clint’s chest as his working leg stretched out above his head.

After their short entrée they began the adagio, but when Clint dipped Bucky in a fish dive lift the loose cap Bucky had been wearing slipped off his head.

“Aww, hat, no,” Clint said quietly as Bucky’s hair tumbled across his face.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky swore, quickly reaching down to snatch the cap off the floor before Clint lifted him back into an upright position. He tossed the cap to the side in time with the music and continued dancing.

Bucky held Clint’s arm as he went en pointe in an arabesque, and Clint put his hand on his waist to guide him in a slow turn. Bucky held the position, hair still covering half his face, as Clint stepped away. Several of the other dancers clapped and hooted as they stretched or warmed up on the side of the studio. Bucky’s forced smile grew a little wider as he continued to hold the position, supporting leg shaking ever so slightly with exertion.

Finally he dropped his working leg and took a few steps before going into a pirouette. Clint stepped behind him to spot and got a facefull of hair with every turn.

“Sorry,” Bucky whispered, stopping the spin so Clint could begin to lift him and pretend to drop him in a choreographed move. Bucky gave him a mock glare, and Clint gave an exaggerated shrug before picking him up and completing the lift.

The rest of the adagio went without incident, and Clint started into the first variation. He really hoped Bucky was doing something to fix his hair because he had about a million fouettés to do in the Carter variation. Clint, meanwhile, was focusing on keeping his cabrioles sharp and crisp so the ballet master didn’t yell at him for being sloppy and complacent. Again.

As Bucky and Clint traded places for their variations, Clint had to stifle a snort of laughter when he saw what Bucky had done to his hair. Too short for the traditional ballerina bun, but too long to stay out of his face, Bucky had his hair up in four spiky pigtails. As ridiculous as it looked, he had to admit it worked to keep the hair out of his face as he watched Bucky leap and spin.

As Bucky finished up his solo, Clint prepared to join him for the coda. He’d always loved this part of Captain America the best, even when he was just a kid in Iowa going to the Des Moines Ballet Company performances. The series of side by side jetés had enchanted him, even before he understood the symbolism behind it. Getting to perform it for audiences all over the world was a dream come true.

Clint lifted Bucky over his head one more time and lowered him slowly as the music faded out. They held hands and dipped into a révérence as the dancers around the room clapped.

Straightening up, they looked at each other and grinned before Clint blurted out, “Dude, what did you do to your hair?”

#winterhawkbingor3 #ballet AU

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

julie and the phantoms week day five- favorite fanfic trope (Willex + coffee shop AU)

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I’m really obssesed with the idea of a willex coffee shop au (probably because i thought about barista!willie for like one second and fell instantly in love), so here’s my take on it! (Warning for cursing)

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@jatp-week

-

This is all Luke’s fault, Alex thought as he stood in front of the prettiest boy he’d ever seen in his entire goddamn life- the boy he’d just spilled hot coffee all over. 

And it was! Kind of. Most of it was Alex’s fault for being a disaster of a human being, but for the sake of convenience, Alex chose to blame it on Luke. 

After all, if Luke hadn’t overslept, the job of getting everyone’s pre-rehearsal drinks would have fallen to him, not Alex. But Luke had overslept, probably due to staying up all night writing songs, and Alex had woken up to a frantic text from his best friend asking him to go to the coffee shop for him, since Alex lived much closer to Julie’s studio than Luke did and had plenty of time to get both coffee and to rehearsal on time. 

So Alex had found himself entering Hollywood Coffee, a nice place in the middle of Sunset Boulevard that he hadn’t actually been to before (again, getting drinks was usually Luke’s job). He didn’t pay much attention as he walked to the register, and as he waited in the short line, he pulled out his phone and opened his notes app, making sure he had everyone’s order written down properly. Alex had gotten much better with handling his anxiety, but everyday social interactions were still far from his favorite thing. 

Alex was just finishing going over the order in his head for what had to be the fifteenth time, because the last thing he wanted was to be on his phone the whole time he was talking to the barista- how rude would that be?!- when he heard the employee in question wish the person in front of Alex a nice day, and Alex stepped up to the counter, still not looking up as he tucked his phone back into his pocket.

“What can I get for you?” A friendly voice asked, and Alex finally looked up at the barista.

Fuck.

Alex wasn’t sure if he was breathing as he stared at the boy in front of him. He had tan skin and long dark hair that was pulled up into a messy bun, wispy strands of hair framing his face perfectly. He was wearing what appeared to be a tye dye crop top under his black apron. The shirt was loose and short-sleeved- which was very unfortunate for Alex, who had made the mistake of looking at the man’s arms and felt himself growing very red as he took in the impressive muscles. He scanned the apron, finding a name tag with ‘Willie’ scrawled across it. The apron also had a pin that read ‘He/They’ and a rainbow pin. 

The guy- Willie- made a small sound, something between a cough and a sigh, and Alex suddenly remembered he was supposed to be ordering drinks, not ogling the random cute boy. Alex’s head shot up, and he opened his mouth to speak, but found himself unable to do so as he accidentally made eye contact with Willie. 

Alex had heard people been described as having “kind eyes” before, but he’d never understood what they meant by that until he looked at Willie. There really was no other way to describe the boy’s deep brown eyes. The sunlight streaming in the nearby window lit his eyes with a soft golden glow, and Alex could have easily kept staring into them forever, but Willie blinked and Alex was jolted out of his trance. 

“Uhh….” Alex started, but was still finding himself unable to talk. “Sorry, I… um… here.” Alex reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, unlocking it quickly and shoving the still-open drink order into Willie’s face.

Well that wasn’t ideal. But hey, at least if Alex didn’t talk, he couldn’t embarrass himself any further. 

“Oh! Uh, do you mind if I…” Willie gestured to the phone. 

Alex stared at him blankly for a moment before replying, “Yeah! Yeah of course! Here!” Alex dropped the phone into Willie’s outstretched hand and stared down at the floor while Willie carefully read over his order. Alex frantically tapped a rhythm on his legs, trying to calm down the blush that had spread across his whole face. 

Willie placed the phone on the counter, and Alex quickly swept it up into his pocket. 

“Okay, your drinks will be ready soon!” Willie smiled at Alex and Alex felt himself go weak in the knees at the boy’s crooked grin. 

Alex just nodded. He probably should move from the counter, but he didn’t want to leave Coffee Shop Boy forever. 

Willie smiled at him again, nodding at his shirt. “Nice shirt.” Alex glanced down quickly to see what he was wearing. It was a really stupid shirt of Reggie’s- plain pink with a hot dog on it, god knows why- that had been left at his place. Why Alex was wearing it, he didn’t know. He had probably been tempted by fate to wear it today for the sole purpose of humiliating himself further in front of the cute barista. 

Alex just attempted to smile at Willie and hurried away from the register, hearing a faint “Have a nice day!” from the other boy as he left. 

Alex found a seat in the farthest corner of the coffee shop and… well he didn’t want to say that he buried his head in his hands, but also that’s exactly what he did. Why am I such a disaster! This is why I can’t get a boyfriend! He cursed his existence, wishing he was capable of seeing cute boys without obviously staring at them like a creep. 

Alex sat there like that for what couldn’t have been more than ten minutes, but felt like much longer. He eventually took his head out of hands and decided that he’d rather get his anxiety out by pacing around the coffee shop as he waited for his drinks to be ready. 

Alex stood up, turned around, and promptly crashed into somebody, falling to the floor. He felt hot liquid splash against him and his head was ringing from the force of the collision. 

“Oh my god are you okay?” A worried voice asked from above him, and Alex felt hands on his arms as the person who had landed on top of him pulled themselves up. 

Alex opened his eyes and found Willie staring back at him. 

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit-

Willie stood fully, extending a hand to Alex to help him up. Alex took it on instinct, but immediately regretted doing so. His hands were sweaty and warm and sticky with coffee and oh god he’d really fucked up this time-

“I am so sorry.” Willie said once Alex was standing. “I realized that I didn’t get your name, so I figured I’d just bring your drinks to you, but I didn’t see you moving to get up… anyways, I’m really sorry.” 

Alex ran his hand through his hair, blushing madly at Willie talking to him in such a genuine way. “It’s okay. It’s my fault.” 

“No, no, it’s not! Here, let me make you new drinks.” Willie turned to go back behind the counter but Alex reached out and grabbed his arm- shocking both Willie and himself. 

“Don’t bother.” Alex said, dropping Willie’s arm as quickly as he’d grabbed it. “I have to go,” Willie looked at him curiously. “Band practice.” Alex explained. 

“Oh, nice!” Willie responded. “But are you sure you don’t want me to get you something? I can just whip up those drinks again really quick.” 

“I’m sure,” Alex answered. “I’m already running late.” It was true, and there was nothing worse than being late to a rehearsal with Julie Molina (if looks could kill…). 

“Okay… well, if you’re sure. But I have to find a way to repay you. Like, actually I do, or I’ll get in trouble with my boss. And believe me, being in trouble with my boss would be bad.” Willie shuddered in a way that filled Alex with a surprising amount of anger towards this unnamed boss. 

“I can come back after practice? Maybe I’ll buy something then.” Alex suggested. The more he talked to Willie, the less embarrassed he felt and found himself just enjoying being in the company of the other boy. 

Willie nodded, seeming to contemplate carefully what he was going to say next. “Let me pay you back in another way though. I’ve got to make up for ruining your shirt.” 

Alex was about to point out that it wasn’t actually his shirt, and also that Willie’s clothes were equally soaked, but Willie wasn’t done talking.  

“I’ll pay for your drinks. I don’t mind paying out of my own pocket. But let me take you out for coffee- somewhere else, though.” Willie laughed. “I’m kinda sick of the drinks here.” 

Holy shit. 

Was Willie… asking him out? 

Even after he blatantly checked him out, was so awkward that he couldn’t even talk to him, and collided with him and got coffee all over him? 

Well, Alex wasn’t going to be the one to complain. 

“Yes. Please. I would like that.” Alex hurriedly responded, furiously blushing and hoping his eagerness wasn’t too obvious. 

Willie smiled, and goddamn, if Alex thought that first smile was captivating. This one was clearly different from Willie’s customer service smile, wider and much more genuine, and Alex would have fainted from it had he not become completely numb to how hot Willie was from the events of the past twenty minutes. 

“Cool. I’ll meet you at Sunset Brew after my shift?” Willie asked, referencing another coffee shop a few blocks down. 

Alex just nodded, smiling shyly. 

“See ya there, Hotdog.” Willie bumped Alex’s shoulder and began to walk back to the counter. 

It took Alex’s brain a few seconds to process the nickname, but then he cried out, “Wait!” 

Willie stopped walking and looked expectantly at Alex. 

“Uh… I didn’t get your number?” Alex rubbed the back of his neck. Although Willie had told him a place to meet up, Alex still wanted to get the boy’s number. In case any number of things went wrong, he still wanted to be able to talk to him again. 

Willie just winked. “Check your phone.” 

He disappeared behind the counter, and Alex pulled out his phone, confused. He found it still open to the notes app, and at the bottom of the list of drinks, Alex found text that hadn’t been there before, along with a phone number. 

Call me ;)

Alex smiled as he left the coffee shop, trying his hardest to not freak out and scream right there on the street- his freaking out could wait until he was with his friends. 

He’d have to thank Luke for oversleeping. 

#i love them.... #willex #willex fic #julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatp fic #julie and the phantoms fic #jatpweek #jatp week #willie jatp #alex jatp #eli.writes #i wrote this while watching the news so theres probably a lot of errors but whatever ig

[spectacularlyignorantt]

From the dining table

March 2017

Louis sat in the kitchen looking around, dust covering every possible surface. Princess Park, their first home, the place they bought together without telling anyone and then never sold after the breakup. Maybe because they couldn't see each other and not end up in bed, regretting it in the morning. Maybe because they both knew this time apart meant nothing. They were destined to be together, a love no one could understand, right?

The last time he saw Harry was after the presentation of his single Just Hold On on the X-Factor, but they had not been a proper couple for around a year. If you didn’t count the sex, of course. Louis didn’t. Sex didn’t mean much, not when he knew what it felt like to be in a relationship with Harry Styles for 5 years. They would have stopped seeing each other when the band started the hiatus if it wasn’t for his mom's health getting worse. Harry stood next to him all those months, giving him comfort, keeping her company when Louis was too tired to stay awake. Harry was part of his family, after all. And Louis knew Anne, Gems and Robin felt the same way about him. 

The reason for their break up was a mystery for everyone, a question never answered. They belonged together, no one could say the opposite after expending time with the couple for 10 minutes. Either you were blind or disgusted by their love, in a cute way. 

Louis knew, of course. It was a decision, more than anything. They felt like the only thing holding them together was the band and decided to take a break to figure out if there was more than that. So they never sold their first home because there was no chance they weren't going back together. 

Lately, Louis wasn’t so sure about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure about anything. The sky was pouring like it should be, for mood purposes. The lump in his throat made breathing hard, the weight in his chest holding him down in the chair. He closed his eyes, he wasn’t going to cry. The promise he made to his mother was still clear in his mind and it was killing him. Because lately, it felt like Harry had forgotten about them. With his solo music, the movie, all that pr girlfriends Louis knew he hated. All that glamour, all those lights. Why would he be thinking about Louis? Maybe they were right, maybe it wasn’t destiny but circumstance. 

Things got worse recently, after Niall went to his flat a couple of days before, wearing that big old tee and Louis told him he smelled like Harry. He wasn’t jealous, not really. It was Niall, for god’s sake. But Niall was around his baby a lot, they had a close friendship not many knew about. Something about the unusual sadness in Niall's eyes told him much more than the calls Haz never answered. Harry didn’t want him anymore. They were done. 

The pressure in his head felt compressive like the one in his heart. All those shots, pints and pot weren’t a good combination. Neither was that boy with curls but the wrong shade of green when he woke up that morning in a hotel room, unable to remember much about the night before. But what else could he do? How could he go to Harry right now and tell him he was sorry for his insecurities? For ruining everything without a good reason? How could he tell him he was sorry? Liam and Oli said he needed to give it time, but everyday felt a little bit more far away from home. So he came back. 

There was a notepad where they used to write the grocery list sitting on the counter, next to the fridge. He took it and the pen on the table, the dim light coming from the closed window. He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this pain, this love. How to be himself again. 

So Louis did the only thing he felt like he could do right: he wrote a song. It was more of a letter, really. But it was shaped like a song, that was his strong suit after all.  And Harry loved to see him write, once upon a time. Used to dance with him in that kitchen, used to make him pancakes in the morning. They used to talk and fuck and chat for hours between those walls. 

To Harry: 

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool 

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated, Harry

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

I saw Niall the other day

He said you feel just fine

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call,

And by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

But you, you never do

Woke up this boy who looked just like you

I almost said your name

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call

By the way…

 He stopped there, unable to continue. His hand was shaking, the tears were smushing the ink on the paper. What a fucking cliche, crying after promising himself he wasn’t going to do it. Nothing could hurt as much as losing his mum, nothing could compare. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he just fucking stop?

Louis got up from the chair and walked away from the dining table, leaving the notepad there. He knew deep in his broken heart that the next time he came back it was going to be there. Left and forgotten, just like that house and those memories. Louis left it there next to his allowance to feel sorry for himself. He needed to grow up, get away from those parties and false people. He was going to get his shit together, write away his feelings and find his sound. 

And if Harry didn’t want him in his life, then there was nothing left to do, right?

May 2017

 The recording of Back to you was finally over and now they need it to work in the music video and he wanted to film it on Doncaster. It felt right to go back to his ‘home’, if he couldn't go back home, you know what I mean? It went well with the theme. 

Louis was driving back from the studio to his flat when a notification popped out in this phone: Harry’s album was out and apparently, people thought a couple of songs were about him. Louis wasn't going to be surprised if they were, both wrote about each other a lot along the way. And the fans loved to link things, made up theories about the Larry situation. Something he wished he could out and say ‘yes it was true but it's over now, please stop tagging me, it hurts’. It didn’t. not as much anymore. 

Or that’s what he thought until he heard track 4, Two Ghost. He knew those lyrics, Harry had written them years ago. That is what they used to call each other’s public images: ghosts. Images without a soul. What a young and dramatic pair they used to be, back in 2013. 

He didn't cry with that one, maybe because of its familiarity. And he wasn’t even mad about the songs about girls, he knew Harry better than that, even after all this time. 

Next was Sweet Creature, the one everyone was speculating about, and honestly Harry, ‘two hearts, one home’? The song felt different. Maybe because he thought that Harry didn’t really remember about their lost home, about being young and in love. Too young to know, most people used to say. What a fool he was for listening. Now he knew, and it was too late. 

Kiwi was funny in the most depressing way for him, Woman felt like an anthem, it felt like Harry’s jealousy, his deep and most dark possessive behavior. But then, when a chord from a guitar came in he went to his phone to check the name. He wasn’t quick enough, tho. The first verse stopped him right there. It was a good thing he parked in his apartment building a couple of songs ago. 

Because there, in the shape of the last song of H’s first album, it was Louis' letter. His feelings in a notepad, in the shape of an awkward song. Almost word by word, Harry’s voice filled the car with calmness and longing, a branch of olive. He was giving the first step. If those little easter eggs along the album weren’t enough, he took Louis letter from two fucking months ago and put it there. He probably had to push the label to do it, with such short notice. Harry went out of his way to let him know it wasn’t over. 

Harry went back to Princess Park, just like him. He went back home. 

 ----

His friend picked up the phone after two missed calls. 

‘Oi Lou, how ya doin?’ the thick Irish accent wasn’t enough of a distraction. 

‘Hey lad, I’m fine. Sorry to bother but I need to ask you something’ he could hear the urgency in his own voice. 

‘Never a bother mate, whatever you need’ Niall, always the optimistic. Louis loved him. 

‘Is Harry staying here? In London I mean’ 

‘What? What's going on?’ and then ‘Oh, the album is out, innit?’ 

‘Yeah…’

‘Okay, well, Harry was going to be with Nick today so yeah, he must be doing press shit’

‘Of course, makes sense, thank you mate. I will explain later ’

‘Sure, use protection’

Louis rolled his eyes but didn’t deny the implications. The car came to life once again and he started driving to Harry’s house. The one they used to spend time in when they had some time between recording and touring. He didn’t even feel annoyed by the traffic, listening to the album all over again. Letting his body welcome Harry once again.

Of course, he still had his keys, drowned deep in the glovebox. He wasn’t going to enter the actual house, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stay outside on the street, someone could recognise him. 

So once he parked in front of the building and noticed Harry wasn’t home, he closed his eyes and took a breath after what felt like hours. The next time he opened them there was a hand taping on his windows, he had fallen asleep.

It was a big hand adorned with rings and some nail polish. Louis knew what it felt to hold it more than he knew his own face. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was waiting outside, a small smile making just one dimple appear. It was the first time they had seen each other in months but Louis felt like no time had passed. And if Louis was going to turn into an idiotic helpless cliche then it better be because of a boy as wonderful and beautiful as him. There was no one else. Harry was it. 

‘I thought it was going to take you longer ’

‘To listen to the album or to get my shit together? ’

Harry seemed to consider his answer for a second, the dramatic little shit that he was. Then he smiled and Louis forgave him immediately. 

‘Both’

Louis laughed and took a step closer to the love of his life. 

‘I’m sorry, baby, I'm really sorry ’

‘Me too’

‘If you let me kiss you right now I’m never letting you go again. It's your choice’

‘Never wanted you to go in the first place’

‘Right answer’

And then they kissed because there wasn't much left to say. At least not right now. The conversation could wait for the next morning, once they had sex, pancakes and maybe a little dance in the kitchen. For old times sake.

----

Soooo, I wrote this because I couldn’t get the idea of Louis writing this song out of my head. And like, it sounds so much like Harry’s writing, this is not a theory at all. But I liked the idea so yeah. It’s probably gonna be my first and only fic about Larry, hope you like it. 

All the mistakes are mine and its noy my first language, sorry if the grammar is trashy. Thanks. 

#larry #larry stylinson #larry fic #larry fic rec #larry fanfic #fanfic #harry styles #louis tomlinson #canon compliant #but fiction #i don't think they broke up #and if they did is not my bussiness #just so you know

[harrysgoldenbum]

Want You Pt. 1

--Harry is June’s ex. June is Y/N’s best friend. Months after the break up the two meet again, and there is an attraction Y/N is just not ready to address.-- 

I want to thank @for-fucks-sake-h​ @andwhenshesays and @oh-honey-styles​ for letting me participate in this challenge. As a new writer its a bit intimidating but I hope y’all enjoy :)

warning: mentions of smut, but nothing too juice... yet. 

Y/N couldn’t believe it. 

Of all the damn colleges in the country, he had to attend the same one as her. And out of all the parties that were happening tonight, he had to be at the same one she was. 

She turned away from the vibrant green eyes of Harry Styles and wished the ground would swallow him whole. She was looking forward to getting wasted tonight. She had a tough week with four exams, her mother once again pushing her buttons and something went wrong in the system and Y/N couldn’t sign up for the classes she needs next quarter. Now she is a fourth-year student and is going to fall behind on her major. Y/N was over all of it. Seeing Harry was just icing on top. He was her best friend June’s ex-boyfriend. 

And a complete douchebag. 

He’s also really fucking attractive. 

Hoping the dancing bodies and the loud music would distract him and not having him come her way, Y/N grabs her roommate’s hand and starts to walk farther into the room. Y/N doesn’t know how Carrie convinced her to go to a party on a Thursday, and yet here she is. When they enter the next room, Y/N tells Carrie who she saw.  

“Is he here?” Carrie asks over the music. 

With a nod of her head, “I thought I saw the last of him last year! June had said that he was planning to transfer out. I guess he didn’t.”

With a shrug, Carrie gulped her beverage from the red solo cup. 

“I should tell that jerk what I think of him.” Y/N seethes taking in her surroundings to see if he is anywhere near her. 

“You could say whatever the hell you want, but it won’t bother him. Especially when he practically has an endless supply of pussy.” 

Immediately, Y/N pictured Harry between her legs. His green eyes look up at her, while his tongue fucks her pussy. She has to clench her thighs and take a deep breath. She pushes the guilt away from her mind and tells herself that she’s too drunk and was thinking unclearly. But fuck, he is hot. But no matter how attractive he is, he is still an asshat. 

“There are so many stories about that boy’s dick,” Carrie states over her cup, dreamily. 

Y/N looks over at her friend in shock, “What?! That was before they broke up! All I had to do was wait until June was wasted and she couldn’t stop talking about how good he gave it.” 

The two friends move to a quiet corner, Carrie looking for a possible partner for the night. It takes about five minutes, then Carrie is leaving Y/N for the guy that was undressing her with his eyes across the room. Two minutes later, she’s taking his hand and disappears somewhere in the house. 

With a heavy sigh, Y/N pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through her socials. It doesn't take Harry even two minutes to slide right up to her. She tries to ignore him and continues to look at the pictures of people. But she can feel his eyes on her. She feels his eyes travel up and down her body until they rest on her face. 

She finally snaps. “What do you want?” she all but snarls.

With a slight laugh, he leans his forearm onto the wall she’s leaning against. “Well, I want to talk to you.”

“Talk to me? Why would you want to talk to me?” Y/N asks, “we aren’t friends, not even close! Especially not after what you did to June!” 

Harry flinched.Y/N sees the look of pain and hurt flash across his face. But seconds later the emotion is wiped clean and is replaced with that flippant, self-assured, asshole persona that fits him so well. 

“Well, we can become friends, can’t we love?” There is a dangerous gleam in his eye that had the hair on the back of her neck rising. “We can get to know each other.” 

Something about the way he says that makes Y/N shiver with anticipation. The fire in his eyes’s putting her on edge. Looking into his forest green eyes, a shiver starts from the base of her spine and travels up and around her body. She can feel her nipples tighten. And prays to god that her padded bra keeps them hidden. 

Y/N was a year younger than him, and when June and Harry had broken up, she had finally moved to the college town just a couple of months before. So she wasn’t lying when it came to friendship Harry Styles. He might have dated her best friend for almost six months, but she only met him a handful of times. And that was after she finally gave up on commuting to school and found a small, cheap studio apartment for herself. Thanks to all the scholarships and grants she had received, she didn’t have to worry about a roommate. And working as a waitress at a local diner helps with her other expenses. The weeks later, June and Harry were no longer together. Y/N always assumed it was a messy break up because it led to June transferring to a different college on the other side of the country. 

“Why would I want to be friends with you?” she asks. “You cheated on my best friend.” 

He clenches his jaw and avoids her eyes. He looks like he’s in an argument with himself. But once again when he turns to her he’s showing her his easy-going smile, the smile that had so many girls swooning because of his dimples. Harry’s eyes travel up and down her form and he doesn’t even try to hide his appraisal. 

“You look really good tonight, Y/N. Really good,” he laughs, covering his face to hid his blush. “Fuck, I saw you from across the room, you dress make your legs… damn… your legs look like they go on forever.” 

Y/N hates herself for blushing. She hopes the darkness that consumes the house helps her hide her heated cheeks. She’s torn. One part of her is eating up the compliments from the attractive guy that’s feeding them to her, leaving her hot and horny. And another part of her fighting the attraction and reminding her of her loyalty to her best friend. 

She does the one thing she can, she crosses her arms and looks away.

Taking his snapback off his head, Harry runs his hands through his hair and puts it back. “Look… is it because of the way things ended with June the only reason that is keeping you from letting me get to know you better?” 

Turning back toward him, Y/N sees a slight frown on his face, causing creases on his forehead. 

“What do you mean only thing? How can you come to me and act like you cheating on a girl, who you were in a serious relationship with, who was so in love with you, not a big deal?!” 

“I never said that,” he replies calmly. “I asked if that was the only thing keeping you from maybe not hating my juts.”

Looking up at him in confusion, Y/N can’t help but question what he was asking her. 

The desire to put him in his place overcomes her. “I don’t like you in general,” Y/N starts. “Cheating is one obvious reason, but you are arrogant and annoying. You are used to getting your way, especially when it comes to the number of girls you’ve been with. It makes me uncomfortable.”

Throwing his head back, a deep laugh escapes from Harry. He looks absolutely gorgeous. His laugh seemed to come from deep in his belly, his smile pops out his dimples and lights up his face. He looks down at Y/N with amusement twinkling in his eyes. 

“Seems to me someone is uncomfortable with their sexuality.” 

Y/N’s jaw drops. “What?! No! That’s not true! You’re - Just because I’m… I’m not attracted to you!” she stutters. Her cheeks heat up at the bald-faced lie she tells him. 

“It’s alright love, I have that effect on a lot of women,” he responds with a smirk.

With a scowl on her face, Y/N looks at him with disgust. “Good for you! Why don’t you try putting your moves on one of them?” she gestures to the number of college girls that are at the party. Most of them are giving them side-eyes, clearly wondering why Harry would be giving Y/N his company. “Because I’m definitely not interested.” Looking him dead in the eyes. “Especially not a guy that would cheat on a woman. Whether she is my best friend or not. It highlights your character and its a trait that I am not attracted to.”

Harry’s cocky smile falls off his face. “I didn’t cheat on June.”

His face goes sober, catching Y/N off guard. She takes a moment to study him, looking for any hint of a lie. She doesn’t find one. 

She tries to say something, but he beats her to it. 

“You don’t have to believe me. I highly doubt that you will, but the chance that you do - the chance that you know, might not… hate me anymore…I figured that you should know. I never cheated on June.” 

“And I am supposed to just… believe you?” Y/N asks, throwing her hands up in the air. 

“You can do what you want Y/N,” he laughs, “I’m just trying to tell you my side of the story. Do you want to know what happened? I told her that there was someone else and she just assumed. I just never made the effort to correct her. That’s what ended us. I encourage you to ask her.” 

He stands straight and starts to walk away. Harry had taken two steps before he came back to her. He wraps an arm around her waist and puts his other arm against the wall behind her. “Maybe knowing that I’m not the asshole you think I am will make it easier on you to accept that you want me just as bad as I want you.” He says to her. Harry brushes a couple to strands of hair out of her face and soft kiss her cheek before turning around and leaving her alone for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~

The next day, Y/N decides to do some investigating. 

Y/N and June tried to keep in contact with each other since she transferred. They would text each other a couple of times a week and try their hand at calling each other at least once a week. But it has been a couple of months since the last time they called each other. 

So, that morning, Y/N sends June a text telling her that she ran into her asshole of an ex last night and informed her that she put him in his place. But, she also tried to dig for more information. Y/N had never gotten the whole story from June, Y/N knew that she was planning to transfer schools after her second year and Harry had said that he would join her too. But by the time June was getting ready to leave, they had broken up. And Y/N being the supportive and helpful friend she is, Y/N helped June not only pack and eat endless pints of ice cream and drank more than their fair share of wine. And plenty of chick-flicks to make her feel better. 

When Y/N got a response from her, to say she was confused was putting it lightly. 

Okay, so I may have overreacted and made him look worse then what was actually going down. I appreciate your loyalty as always! Haha, I was just super into him and things are going good. But then out of now where he tells me that there is someone else. I guess I never did find out if he slept with her or not but I didn’t give him the chance to explain himself. Whatever, I’m over it. He texted me a couple of weeks ago apologizing again. I don’t plan on becoming his friend, but I don’t hate him anymore. Talk to you soon Y/N. xoxo.

After rereading what was sent to her, Y/N started to think that maybe Harry Styles is as bad as she thinks. And that just maybe, he is telling the truth. 

She pushed the thought from her mind and started to work on her fourth-year thesis.

It isn’t until late at night when she thinks of him again. So maybe he didn’t cheat on June, but that doesn’t mean she can stand the guy. He makes her uncomfortable. And Y/N is pretty sure that he is just looking for a quick fuck, which she isn’t entirely against. But when the guy is an arrogant son of a bitch, Y/N does her best to avoid them. 

~~~~~~~~

Sunday morning, Y/N does her best to be productive. Looking around her apartment to see what chore she should start with, she picks up her hamper and the dirty clothes thrown on the floor and goes downstairs to start her laundry. She’s wearing her only clean clothes, a pair of boy shorts that she usually wears to bed (because they barely cover her ass) and a stretchy tank top without a bra. She gets to the laundry room and starts to separate her dirty clothes. 

“If this isn’t the best thing I’ve seen all day!” 

Y/N freezes at the sound of the voice that rings through the room. She’s bent over the washer stuffing her clothes, realizing that she is probably exposing more than half her ass. She stands straight and looks over her shoulder, and sure enough. It’s Harry freaking Styles. He seems to be holding a bag of laundry over his shoulder. He’s wearing athletic shorts and a plain white tee. His cocky smirk irritates Y/N further. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” 

“I thought this room was for the whole building,” he starts walking to the empty washer next to her and starts loading his clothes. “I was told that anyone who lives here can use it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen and her jaw drops. She tries to convince herself that her heart is racing because she is just irritated. “You’re fucking joking right?” 

“Nope,” Harry says, popping the p. “We are neighbors” his dimples peek out as he grins. “I’m 2C. Where are you?” He adds detergent to his machine and starts the wash cycle. 

“3C” she replies, watching him carefully, “are you stalking me now?”

He breaks into a deep laugh. Going as far as clutching his flat stomach. “I can assure you, it is 100% a pure coincidence, love.” 

With a sigh of frustration, Y/N closes her washer's lid and starts her wash cycle. She glances at him and sees him leaning against the machine and checking her out. His jade color eyes move slowly over her body and Y/N finds it difficult to breathe. Her nipples grow hard. Realizing she isn’t wearing a bra, she crosses her arms across her chest. 

Suddenly, he eagerly asks her if she talked to June and if she backed him up.

“I did, congrats, I guess your character isn't all that bad. But I still can’t stand you.”

Harry moves his hand to cover his heart. “You wound me, love. You know I’m not a two-timing type of guy, can’t you ease up on me a little?”

“No” Y/N scowls. She enjoys him begging for her attention. She feels as if it's the first time he is working for something in his life. 

“Playing hard to get then?” he teases. His green eyes light up with amusement. 

“Or maybe not all women want you like that” Y/N scoffs. 

That arrogant smirk reappearing, Harry leans toward her. “That hasn’t happened yet.” 

Resisting the urge to scream, Y/N rolls her eyes and turns to collect her stuff. Just as she is about to comment, hoping to get the last word, two girls walk into the laundry room. They both stop when they see Harry. Blatantly check him out, and clearly liking what they see. 

“Hi, I’m Amelia and this is my roommate Alexis. Did you just move in?” she asks, twirling her hair around her finger. 

Harry steps in front of Y/N and shakes their hands. Y/N clenches her jaw and tries to convince herself that she’s annoyed because she can’t stand Harry, not because of the two other girls hitting on him. 

Suddenly, Y/N doesn’t feel comfortable leaving the laundry room, so she tries to prolong her stay by making it look like she is doing something while the others make small talk. 

Y/N’s ears perk when she hears Amelia offer Harry a tour of the building and the neighborhood. But Y/N knows what type of tour Amelia really wants to give Harry. A strong arm wraps itself around her waist and pulls her closer to Harry’s body. His thumb rubs circles on her hip bone that was exposed from her tank top rising. 

“That’s very sweet of you, but Y/N just offered to do that, right?” he’s only looking at her. Heat races throughout her body and tingles travel down her spine. 

Looking up at him with wide eyes. She finds it fascinating that one person who she finds attractive can be just as infuriating. “Right,” she confirms with a fake smile. 

She would rather play along rather than letting these skanks sink their claws into Harry and spread whatever diseases they carry. Harry holds on to her while the two girls get their now dry clothes and leave the room. Y/N wiggles out of Harry’s grip and goes to grab her hamper and phone. But Harry beats her to it. 

“What are you doing?!” Y/N shrills. She suppresses the urge to stomp her foot like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum. 

He messes around on her phone for a minute before giving it back to her. “There. I gave you my number and texted myself, so I have your number. We are going to start working on ‘not hating my guts’ thing, yeah?” he tells her with a smile. 

Whirling around Y/N stomps out of the laundry room. Looking over her shoulder, “Don’t bet on it,” she shouts over her shoulder. 

~~~~~~~~

It's later in the evening when someone knocks on Y/N’s door. She just finished cooking herself dinner and had Netflix queued. When she answers it, a shirtless Harry Styles is standing in the hallway. His tattoos stand out against his tanned skin. Y/N’s mouth waters. His body is built and his muscles are defined in all the right places. His abs are just tight enough to stand out without him trying too hard. He’s holding a tupperware box in his hand. Y/N feels heat leak between her legs. 

She quickly drags her eyes up to look at him. “What do you want?” she snaps, hoping once again that he can’t see her hard nipples. Irritation streams through her body. Her body acting as a traitor even though her brain knows that she doesn’t want anything to do with him. 

“I thought what better way to convince you that I’m not an asshole,” he starts, “than by baking you chocolate chip cookies… and brownies.”

“Huh?”

“I wasn’t sure what you liked and wanted to give you something you might like. I use to work at my gran’s bakery and she taught me how to bake really well.”

Taking the box from him Y/N is flabbergasted. Once again she sees a side to Harry she didn’t think he had. And it's thrown her out of the loop. “Well, um… thanks.” she stands there awkwardly, unsure what else to say. 

Harry’s forest-green eyes are looking at her. His eyes darken and he takes a step toward Y/N. “One more thing.” He wraps his arms around her waist and dips his head. He sucks on the skin just below her ear. “I can fuck pretty well too,” he whispers. His lips lingering at the shell of her ear. 

Before Y/N can say a word, Harry turns around and walks away. 

In a daze, Y/N shuts the door and moves to her couch and collapses. Only two words enter her mind. ‘Well, fuck.’

Part 2 Here

My Work

#pypfc #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles fan fiction #enemies to lovers #my work #orginal writing #new writer #want you

[softlyjiminie]

black swan | three.

⇢ pairing(s): professional dancer!park jimin x figure skater!reader.

⇢ word count: 4.1K.

⇢ rating: 16+, mature.

⇢ genre: angst, eventual smut, fluff, e2l, fake dating!au, corrupted idol!au, dancer!au, figure skater!au.

⇢ summary: a life of skating was all you’d ever known, your heart craving the feeling of ice beneath your feet and the light brush of cool air against your skin under thousands of sparkling lights… what a shame, if only you’d known that one night, one accident could rip you from the life you’d grown to love, leaving your career in the unsteady hands of the prince of ballet, park jimin.

⇢ warning(s): please read for this chapter! heavy angst, social media bullying, mentions of drugs ( weed ), mentions of alcohol and drinking, angry jimin!

⇢ author’s note(s): hello my loves! sorry for posting this so late but i really hope you enoy this chapter. i might have to delay chapter four, for a special post in order of joon n koo’s birthday! love you lots.

⇢ previous | series masterlist | next

“park... you’re out, bail’s been paid.”

jimin rolls his shoulders at the call of his name, standing from his seat on the cold metal bench. he shakes out the blonde in his hair, deciding that the colour was too good and that he’d probably dye it a darker shade as soon as he was back in the safety of his penthouse. smirking, he grabs his discarded leather jacket... designer of course and slings it over his left shoulder— poking his tongue into his cheek as the officer unlocks his cell with a deep blush.

“you sure you don’t want to join me in here one last time sweetheart?”

the officer looks down, fumbling with the keys in her hand as a blush paints her heated face. “wouldn’t you get in trouble for that? another scandal wouldn’t be good for your career,” she bites down on her lower lip and the cat like smile on jimin’s face only grows wider— his forefinger and thumb touch at her chin, tilting her head up to meet his dark eyes as if he’s going to kiss her. “especially now that the paps are outside...”

he only lets out a simple tut, staring down at her with a hooded gaze. “you wouldn’t have a career if you opened that pretty little mouth of yours, sweetheart.” the cop falls silent, not having the chance to reply as jimin parts ways with her— collecting his belongings on the way out. inmates clap and cheer for him, although he’d only been in this station for a night, he’s already built up a reputation for himself around town...drunk driving, speeding, possession of drugs. park jimin was booked in for nearly all of it; but got away with it practically every time.

the sunshine from outside blinds the dancer, harsh golden rays warming his skin in the most irritating of ways. instead, he tilts his shades down over his eyes and way from the mass of bleach blonde hair that swoops messily over one side of his face. cameras are situated around the station, jimin knows that for sure, he can’t see them but he can hear the clicks and flashes from paparazzi that hide in bushes around them. they all want jimin for this week’s front cover, it’s only obvious that he’ll make the headlines for the fifth week in a row but who’s to say he cares? flashing a toothy grin as he flips the middle finger to sneaky photographers that pretend not to be seen.

“you’re so immature, jimin,” hoseok, his manager scolds, fixing the hem of his tight and light grey christian dior suit. the man himself is only a little ways taller than jimin, hair parted and slicked down with brown tinted shades that hide the tiredness in his eyes. hoseok is not that much older than jimin, but they’ve worked together long enough for jimin to consider the elder his family— or more like a pestering older brother. his manager pulls him into a sleek black van parked not even three minutes from the police station, the walk taking longer as jimin stopped to wave at fans. he was a dancer, a performer— it didn’t matter where he was, he always had an audience and he always appealed to them. “get in the fucking car.” hoseok seethed through gritted teeth, opening the door for his client, who only smiled mischievously as he entered it.

slamming the door, hoseok circled the vehicle and climbed in from the passenger  side. “what’s got you in such a sour mood hyungie?” jimin hums lazily, leaning back into the plush, cream leather seats of his mercedes while his manager tuts in annoyance— gesturing for their driver (and body guard), seokjin, to head towards the dancer’s gated neighbourhood. running a hand through his blonde locks, jimin’s caramel eyes light up at the sight of his day bag of which he carries around on a daily basis— diving in he pulls out a box containing a few of his rolled joints. grabbing one and bringing it to the flesh of his plump lips, jimin frowns darkly, at the lack of lighter in his bag. “the fuck his my lighter?”

“i took it,” hoseok mumbles simply, rubbing his temple with his free hand, the other twirling jimin’s pink lighter between his own slender digits. the younger leans forward in his seat, restricted only by his seatbelt as they make their way through the L.A traffic— making a grab for the lighter which his manager swiftly pulls away and pockets. “you’ve been acting up again jimin, it’s not looking good for you—“

the dancer in question lurches forward once more, making seokjin swerve ever so slightly. “give me the damn lighter hoseok.” jimin seethes through gritted teeth, the hand that launched at his manager now digging into said man’s head rest. anger flares up in the dancer’s chest— he’s just spent the night in a fucking cell and all he wants to do is have a few puffs of his joint so that he can relax a little.

but hoseok doesn’t budge, easily sinking into the comfort of his seat. “you can’t keep doing this ji,” he scolds, watching the scenery pass by through their tinted windows. “this is the third time in the last two months that you’ve gotten booked into a station for something...” the younger rolls his eyes knuckles turning white. the manager feels a temper tantrum coming on, from the way his client breathes hotly down his neck. jimin had never been good at managing his anger, no one had ever known why— he was a brat for no damn reason but hoseok sensed there was always more to the blonde, that’s why he took him in. “speeding? when you could have waited for jin to pick you up. not to mention how the company shouldn’t be putting their money towards paying for your bail—“

“money that i bring into that fucking company? they wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for me.” the younger points out childishly... and to be fair, he’s not wrong. people from across the world came to see park jimin perform— if they were lucky enough. his graceful movements and talent for following the music no matter how it changed was always something that entranced his fans. jimin was their biggest source of revenue and a major asset, one of the only reasons they hadn’t fired him yet— hoseok supposed. “i’m park jimin, shit...they need me!”

hoseok sighs in defeat as their bodyguard pulls into jimin’s gated neighbourhood. the brunette turns to face his client, a worn out expression pulling at his heart shaped face. “just think about it jimin, if you don’t fix up and don’t stop your bitch fits... it could be over for you.” hoseok hates to scold jimin like this but he also knows it important that he learns. he flinches when the dancer scoffs, begrudgingly pulling out the pink lighter and passing it to the latter.

the younger simply snatches the small device from his hyung’s grasp, brining his joint to his lips and lighting it as he slides from the car.

he didn’t need to think about shit, he was park jimin for goodness sake.

social media was an evil place.

jimin was used to all types of comments across his socials. he knew he was meant to be in the studio for practice, but he was too deep into the internet to turn back now. so more often than not he found that he was drowned is all sorts of praises and love from his fans, complimenting him on his skills, his physic and his oh-so-beautiful face but sometimes, if he looked hard enough— there were those full of hatred and malice, intended break down the souls of those they were targeted at, break the soul of park jimin.

‘i used to love jimin, but he’s getting caught up in all this bad stuff... we might have to unstan...’

‘he’s still a great dancer, but i’m disappointed in how he’s acted recently.’

‘why do celebs think it’s funny to get arrested? it’s fucking cringe especially since they can afford bail? lol no offence park jimin.’

each word cuts sharply at his heart, like knives, creating deep wounds. it hurts to read them, so much so that it brings stinging tears to his eyes but he doesn’t let them fall— he hadn’t in a long time. moments like these lead the blonde to believe in his hyung’s words, was he a has been? was his career coming to an end? familiar insecurities rot his brain, draining what was once left of the boy who loved to dance.

he takes a sip of the bitter, honey liquid that fills his crystalline glass, eyes blurring and throat tightening at the burn the alcohol brings. a filling pain to ease the hurt in his heart. ‘fuck,’ jimin thinks, he’s fucked and he knows it. the dancer wonders if he had been different had his brother not fucked up his life, the older park was probably off somewhere doing god knows what with who knows who and jimin can’t help but let his mind wonder to what he would be doing if his brother wasn’t there. if his brother hadn’t caused that accident. before that day, jimin only ever dreamed of where he is now— practicing hard wherever he was; the canteen in high school, his bedroom, the kitchen when his mother was making his favourite dish.

god he missed those days.

slamming his glass down onto his island counter, jimin stretches his arms above his head so that his black fitted shirt rises up— brushing his tummy briefly. the news hums from the TV in the background, as he sways with sleepiness. something about an accident, something about a skater...he’s not listening. sighing in defeat, jimin grabs the bottle of special edition brandy and takes a lengthy swig while he makes his way to his on-suite bathroom. the dancer’s nimble fingers brush through the roots of his overbearingly blonde locks, fisting them as he looks into the mirror with reddened eyes and a broken heart.

taking another sip of his liquor, jimin finishes the substance off with a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest before throwing the bottle in the trash and opening his cabinet, reaching for the dark hair dye that sits on the middle shelf.

stopping his mercedes benz, jimin parks his car outside of hangsang studios, the dance company that hired the boy. his eyes that reflect black under the artificial lights of the street lamp flicker up to the company logo cast into the side of the towering building— a scoff emitting from between his plump lips. the door to his car opens not a second later, aeri, jimin’s girlfriend slipping into the passenger’s side with a huff.

she throws her practice bag onto the back seat, making the dancer flinch as he presses his forehead to the steering wheel. “practice started at five, you know that right?” aeri seethes, buckling herself in and pulling down the mirror, she fluffs her blonde hair— colour similar to the one the dancer once possessed as she insisted on matching. “of course you don’t, god sometimes i wonder why i’m even with you...”

her words do nothing to the dancer as he sits up in his seat, pressing his foot into the peddles as he sets the gears into drive. ‘i sometimes wonder the same thing...’ jimin can’t help but think, sourly. he loved aeri, he did, but she was draining to be around— obsessed with the idea of being at the top, even if it meant criticising her lover at every point. he’d grown numb to her abuse by now. “i’m sorry, ri... i’ll be at practice next time.” he says instead, knowing very well that speaking his thoughts will only set the girl off. the streets are clearer than they were earlier in the day, fewer cars allowing jimin to pass through lanes with ease... his eyes focus on the road, but he longs to take in the scenery— just for a moment. to feel like the world has stopped in place. “i’ll make it up to you, babe.”

aeri scoffs, wrapping her arms around herself after she pokes jimin’s arm. he slows the car at the stop sign, watching with thin patience as the signals change from green to red, colour by colour. the girl turns to face him, lips drawn into a scowl and small hand taking a fistful of jimin’s darkened, navy locks. “dying your hair? is this what you skipped practice for? when will you take this showcase seriously jimin? fucking hell.”

the pinch in her tone irritates the life out the aforementioned dancer, so much so that his shoulders pick up while he begins to drive again. aeri wasn’t always like this, there was a time, back when they were trainees where jimin would have tripped over his feet to get her to notice him, they were usually paired for dancing events— closeness eventually leading them to dating. but now, she fancied the idea of being a star rather than the blue haired boy himself... the infamous new york showcase had always been her dream and jimin supposes he was only a stepping stone to that path. his name being a direct lead there, his money an added bonus. he knew that skipping practices made her mad, maybe that’s what why he did it— to get back at all the horrid words she’d spouted at him in the last few years.

“— and i swear, if you don’t clean up your act, i’ll leave you and find a new dance partner—“

jimin tunes back into her words, an empty threat that he’d heard from her many times before— looking into the rear view mirror he catches her humid gaze before making a turn towards her house. “i know baby, i’m sorry...i’ll do better, let me make it up to you, yeah?” he mumbles absentmindedly, using words that he knew would satisfy her appetite to being him down until the next time. “i’ll buy you that bag you wanted, hm? or those dance shoes you were after... will that do until i’ve caught up with dance?” aeri pulls at her hair in frustration, reaching behind her for her dance bag as she kicks her feet and screams like a petulant child.

“pull over!”

jimin does as he’s told, pushing his hands through his hair as anger rises in his chest— rattling inside his body as if asking for permission to break free. aeri waits for cars to pass before opening the door and storming out, not even giving her lover time to react. the blonde girl whips out her phone, texting someone jimin can’t see before the dancer’s wound down his window.

“aeri, come on doll, let’s not fight.” he tries to reason with her, but the will to keep her close has gone from her voice as she looks up at him with a fiery gaze. her chest rises and falls with anger, causing jimin to roll his eyes and bring his head back into the car. “you’re really gonna walk home?”

“no, my new dance partner is coming to pick me up because he’s not a lazy bum like—!”

jimin doesn’t stay to hear the rest of her cold insult, having had just about enough of her attitude, reversing the car and heading in the direction of his home, his anger still simmering brightly.

“well well well, if it isn’t our handsome ji. look who’s finally coming around!”

the boy in question rolls his eyes despite the little smile that plays at his lips, he’s glad to see that hoseok hyung’s mood has sweetened slightly— his expression matching the brightness of the L.A sun that highlights the blue of jimin’s hair, yet causes him to squint at the same time. he pulls his shades over his eyes, ignoring hoseok’s outstretched hand and going in for a quick, apologetic hug. the manager knows jimin isn’t one for displays of affection, but knows him well enough to recognise an apology from the younger when he sees one.

but jimin’s warmth retreats just as fast as it came, the younger pulling away as if hoseok’s new alexander wang suit has has scorched his tan skin. jimin seems to be grumbling as he slides into the van which seokjin drives and buckles himself in. the annoyance the blue haired boy felt from last night has yet to fade, but he knows he has to keep his anger in check— hoseok texted him early this morning about a meeting with the board... which usually never means anything good.

the car ride is mostly silent, the slight hum of the radio in the background as jimin rests in the back seat. there were few times he’d ever met the board, the first being after his accident, when hoseok had recruited him. the second being when he’d made it big, when the CEO had told him he’d made it big just like his parents would have wanted and the third, well...that would be now. seokjin pulls up to the tl the hangsang company building, quickly helping the dancer out before heading with into the building with hoseok by their side.

walking through the company building, jimin attracts a lot of attention— many have said that he exudes an intimidating, strong aura but the dancer only reckons it’s because of his name...after all, his family does come with a reputation. rookies and senior dancers alike blush and bow as jimin makes his way towards the head office, his slicked back blue hair shines under the false white light and reflects off of the black shades that match his jeans,  chelsea boots and turtle neck.  of course, the boy knows that he looks good, fingers coming up to fix the denim jacket he wears but his stride slows when passing his usual practice room— gaze faltering as he spots aeri tangled with a younger dancer, a rookie who jimin recognises as choi san. the familiar emotions from yesterday crawl up his spine and mix with the blackened jealousy that blooms across his firm chest— but jimin doesn’t have time to linger on his feelings as hoseok ushers the trio into an elevator and presses the button for the tenth floor. aeri looks away from the dancer just as the door closes.

“it’s not looking good for you jimin,” the CEO, explains— he goes by the name of mr.chan. jimin himself admits that he hasn’t been listening since the moment they entered the room but he picks up the tone of disappointment in the CEO’s voice.  shaking out his dark locks, jimin scoffs likely and rolls his shoulders— feeling annoyance build up behind his eyes... he’s got a headache now, which is only worsened by hoseok giving him a scolding glare.

“jimin don’t.”

he sits up at the second mention of his name, jimin knew not to test his manager at this time and also knew hoseok would give him the scolding of a life time if he didn’t listen. tilting his gaze to the CEO, jimin finally tunes into mr.chan, even if he doesn’t like what he’s saying. “you’re our prized dancer park, a household name...but you’ve had fewer performances then any other dancer this year, your recent bad reputation is...driving clientele away,” the old man lets out a wheezing cough, making jimin grimace. mr.chan was a greasy old man, with oily hair and beady eyes. he was harsh to the eyes, jimin supposed it was lucky that he was rich or mr.chan was doomed to be single for the rest of his life. “not to mention the bail we’ve been paying, you’re more of a burden than an asset at this point.”

“you’re fuckin’ kidding me right?” jimin rises from his seat like the anger that boils and bubbles through his veins, having enough of the ugly man that rattles on before him. all he can think about his punching the CEO square in the face. “you  fucking need me here. if im a burden to you, i’ll cut my loss and join another company that wants me. they all want me. i made this place what it is and i’ll tear it right back down. you need me.” the dancer seethes, pointing his finger right at the CEO’s face, mr.chan and his fellow associates swallow thickly, because after all— jimin is right. his raw talent alone is what built this company up from what it was, and anyone would kill for the money that he brings in however he may act.

the panel of staff mr.chan has with him, are rendered silent as is the CEO himself— who are they to challenge park jimin? but a lowly assistant speaks up, grabbing the attention of the congregation. “but raw talent will only last you so long...after that, what will you have? a pile of scandals?” she says meekly, as if no one would hear her— but the scowl on park jimin’s face tells her otherwise. usually, she’d have been fired on the spot for talking in such a manner— jimin might have even had a field day with making her run errands for him but mr.chan and his associates need an argument against the dancer’s case, promptly taking  the assistant’s statement and running with it.

the blue haired dancer sits back in his seat with defeat as the group of fat heads before him smile and cheer as if they’ve just discovered wine. although hoseok chooses this time to interject, sensing jimin’s temper tantrum reaching its peak once again. “but we have a solution, don’t we mr.chan?” the manager cuts through their wheezing laughter in a way that would make you think he was the boss around here. “remember what we discussed?”

the old man nods suddenly, almost in fear as he gestures to the assistant to pass a file to jimin. honeybrown eyes narrow as the girl makes her way over with a brown file full of documents— a sense of nervousness emitting from her. the dancer knows it’s partly because everyone is scared shitless of him and his reputation, the other part is that he’s damn well attractive up close. jimin bites down on his lower lip, looking the girl up and down before he snatches the file from her and opens it up — revelling in the way she blushes with embarrassment.

“we’ve proposed that you start dance therapy with a world renowned physical therapist, min yoongi,” hoseok explains slowly, knowing that anything mr.chan says from now will surely set the dancer off. the aforementioned male grips the arms of his seat, knuckles turning white as he tries his best to suppress another outburst and listen to his manager. “he’s excellent at what he does, the best of the best— he’d be sure to get you back on track...”

jimin scoffs, staring daggers into the spot between mr.chan’s unbearably bushy eyebrows. if looks could kill, he’d be dead within an instant. “so you want me to join a beginners class? do i need to remind you of who the fuck i am?”

“no, you’ll have private sessions,” his manger says lowly, grabbing the younger’s attention. “we want him to motivate you, we’re not denying that you’re a phenomenal dancer jimin, you’ve just been heading in the wrong direction for a few years...”

all this new information causes a feeling of unease to reside within park jimin, the changes that are to come don’t sit well with him... but with hoseok’s words from a few days ago swirling and twirling with his thoughts like a waltz, jimin can only agree to their proposition. “so, what’s the catch?” he whispers now.

“they’ve got another client in south korea ,  we’re thinking of bringing them over too—“

“well then do it!” jimin stands, raising his voice, the conversation is too tedious and all he wants it out. he needs a drink or a smoke or something other than people telling him what he was or what he isn’t. running a hand through his navy locks, the dancer grabs the file and begins to head out, not caring about what’s left to he said. but before he has a chance to storm out, hoseok slips a piece of paper into his hand and lets him go with a saddening smile.

“it’s the name of the client,” he whispers.

and so with that, jimin strides out of the office, the company building— not even bothering to greet seokjin properly as he jumps back into their black van. his bodyguard promptly drives him home, knowing better than to question the silenced dancer, who unfolds the paper to reveal a name.

‘LN YN’.

⇢ taglist ! ( comment, like or dm to be added! )

@periminkle​  @ggukkieland​   @aishots​ @ownthesunshine​ @codeinebelle​ @taeass​ @trviahope @singular-itae​ @preciouschimine @yoongismykink @idiakh @honeyspillings@kimsdior @chimshoe95​ @cypherft-v @tangledsparkles​ -@ultraanonymousey @rjsmochii​ ​  @thenoblr @icedoutmywristtitanic​ @chiminies-noona​ @mrsfortune1306​

#bangtanhq #heartsforbts #btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #thekpopnetwork #bangtanidx #cypherwritersnet #bts #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin imagine #jimin au #jimin angst #jimin fic #jimin fanfic #jimin scenario #bts x reader #bts x you #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts imagines #bts au #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction

[ofkareenas]

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶   …

JANHVI KAPOOR, CIS WOMAN, TWENTY-FIVE, SHE / HER  ⟨  ✽  ⟩   hey, you haven’t bumped into  kareena puri  lately, have you? they have been living here for the past  two years  and during that time, locals have gotten to know them as  charismatic  &  creative.  a little birdie told me they can be quite  stubborn  &  opinionated  though. explains why they’re an online fashion brand owner and designer .  they really remind me of  morning beach walks, sketchbooks filled with new designs, the sound of a sewing machine running.  if you’re ever looking for them, i bet you can find them around port briar lighthouse.

hi again, it’s tally ! this is my second baby kareena !! she’s very new to me and it’s pretty exciting bc i tend to just recycle characters kjhfgkj again, if you’d like to plot, please reach out to me on dms, or you can like this and i’ll reach out. you can also talk to me on discord if you’d prefer that. ( gowon face insurance company#8416 ) also pls excuse how messy this is, i havent written a proper full intro in a while.

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈   …

kareena puri

march 30th, 1996 - 25 yrs old ; aries

cis woman, she/her, bisexual (closeted to her family, not so much to anyone else)

born in mumbai, india. raised in seattle, washington.

currently residing in port briar, maine

pinterest board: here

TW / CW: none, other than a controlling family, which idk if it even should be tagged but yuh

kareena knew it, she was lucky compared to others. she had it better than some of her peers, and she recognized that privilege. but if she could trade her family life for a “normal” one, she would in the quick snap of a finger.

kareena’s family was pretty much old money. she came from a long line of doctors in almost every medical field, and they own so many private hospitals and clinics in many countries. if you happen to hear the Puri family name, you probably would associate it with these things: a big hospital that you probably drove by with your car or a surgeon that your doctor wanted to refer you to.

every child in the family was expected to go to med school. it was the only way to keep the family legacy and pride going. of course, the more new generations came in the family, the more there were those who decided to take different fields of work instead. and of course, the eldest members in the family would always voice their disappointment in them, and would always make sure to remind them that they’re a disgrace no matter how successful they are in whatever field they went into.

kareena didn’t know what she was doing at the young age of sixteen. her parents would boast about how she would be a successful doctor when she grows up, just like her older siblings, and how her younger siblings would be the same as well. all kareena did was nod and smile. she didn’t want this.

the thing is, she was a naturally great student with really good grades, and yet her parents would be disappointed if she got a B+ or even an A- on a subject every once in a while. she didn’t get it. she thought she was doing her best. although the complaining about her report cards was getting a bit too much coming from her mother, and that’s when kareena really started to not give a fuck. yes, she still got good grades for her own sake, but she started to do whatever she wanted. she hung out with kids her parents would call a bad influence, and started to skip some school days or go to parties on the weekends. it was fun and liberating to her.

once her senior year was over and kareena was graduated with a high school diploma, her family was back at it again, trying to get her to apply to all the notable medical schools out there. she had protested about it, and family fights ensued, and with some threats, kareena was forced into applying. next school year, she was in another city, studying to be a surgeon, and her mind wasn’t into it at all. she only lasted one year before she decided to drop out and transfer to FIDM, a fashion school in L.A, instead.

kareena has always been into fashion. the way she dressed would tell you so. how she was always on the latest fashion, and how she would have so many sketchbooks and scrapbooks of fashion related things. she loved making her own clothes at home with her sewing machine. her mother would tell her that it’s a nice hobby, but she never guessed that her daughter would want to pursue it as a career. the color drained out of her face when she saw what kareena had done. she was angry and disappointed, and mostly worried about what the rest of the family would say, more than she cared about her daughter’s wants and needs. kareena, however, didn’t care. she was happy. she moved out to be closer to campus, and soon enough after graduation, she left everything behind and decided to go somewhere quieter: port briar, maine. this was completely different from everything she was used to, it was so quiet and small, but she loved it. she finally feels at peace with herself.

now, kareena is a successful fashion designer. she started an online business, and it has been booming, with fashion influencers promoting her work. she was hoping that someday she would get to do bigger things, like making custom items for celebrities and being featured in fashion magazines and fashion weeks. she could only wish and work towards that for now.

and even with all of that, even when kareena had picked herself up from the ground on her own and built her own business, her family still didn’t approve. they still pretended to care about her, but would make sure to remind her of how disappointed they are in her and the path she’d taken. they would sit and wonder what it would’ve been like if she continued to go to med school, and how successful she could’ve been. and all kareena would do in response is smile and say that she’s successful anyway, but at least now she’s doing something she actually loves.

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂   …

born in mumbai, india. moved to seattle, washington when she was still a baby, and was raised there for the rest of her life, all while still visiting family back home.

kareena is the middle child of 5 siblings. two older brothers and two younger sisters

she is bisexual, and she’s pretty open about it. except to her family. shes not out to them

she believes in working hard, but she also believes that everyone deserves to have fun and get a break every once in a while. she currently is the only main person doing all the work for her business, but she’s hoping to soon hire anyone who has the same interests as her

her designs are mostly evening wear dresses and such. think teuta matoshi or marionela type of dresses, all flowy and puffy, giving fantasy feels

altho i would say her success is more like early hope macaulay, when she was still starting out. if no one is familiar with her, she is an irish fashion and textile designer who got famous for her knit wear on instagram, and she’s p young !! u might recognize her work if u look her up <3

she currently lives alone port briar, with her rented home facing the beach. exactly how she likes it. it was different and definitely not lavish like her home growing up, but she liked it better. she could’ve lived somewhere more expensive, but she didn’t want that.

owns a studio where she usually works. there is more space for her there than what she used to have at home. all the design process, sewing and even photoshoots take place there usually

if not working, kareena could be found at the rocky beaches near the port’s lighthouse or off somewhere on an adventure. she is always here to have a good time

honestly kareena is still such a new character for me, so if i think of any other hcs, i’ll add them here

.  ∘ ∗   :   🐝   𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂   …

friends from school, could be from seattle or L.A: kareena would’ve kept in contact with those friends tbh shes the type of person to keep her friends around. even if they were just added to her snapchat or followed on instagram. she would keep up with them

toxic relationship / gf: THIS

exes ?? we could definitely plot this out

high school ex perhaps 👀

FWB: no strings attached 

neighbors: she lives on sea sprite lane

family members? kareena would be hoping that left them all behind in the past, but it can’t be denied that she has a big family and she could possibly run into any of them at any moment

omg crush perhaps ! idm if it’s one sided, and it could either be kareena having feelings or the other person

a friend she had a falling out with: she probably met this person two years ago when she first moved here. something might’ve happened and one thing after another, they dropped each other and it was probably the worst falling out for both of them

clients / customers for her business perhaps. or maybe a helping hand!! 

literally anything u wanna do, lets gooo

#briar.intro #heheh it's finally here

[felassan]

Dragon Age development insights from David Gaider - PART 6

This information came from DG on a recent SummerfallStudios Twitch stream where he gave developer commentary while Liam Esler continued playing DAO from where they had left off in Part 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. I transcribed it in case there’s anyone who can’t watch the stream (for example due to connection/tech limitations, data, time constraints, personal accessibility reasons, etc). A lot of it is centered on DAO, but there’s also insights into other parts of the franchise. Some of it is info which is known having been put out there in the past, and some of it is new. There’s a bit of overlap or repetition with topics covered in Parts 1-5. This post leaps from topic to topic as it’s a transcript of a conversational format. It’s under a cut due to length.

The stream can currently be watched back here. Next week LE will be streaming a different DAO playthrough with commentary from another guest. Two weeks from now LE and DG will return to continue this playthrough for another stream session like this one. LE will be uploading the previous streams to YouTube at some point as they are now gone from Twitch, before the end of the year. It’s on his to-do list! Do note that they’ll be taking a break from their weekly/fortnightly streaming schedule over the holiday period.

For the first chunk of this stream they discussed the BioWare news of Mark and Casey’s departure, and that in relation to DA4.

[wording and opinions DG’s, occasionally LE’s; paraphrased]

DG on Mark Darrah and Casey Hudson’s departures: “The big news.” He knows a lot of people were pointing at his surprise on Twitter (second from the top) as if that makes their departures somehow more significant, but “honestly, don’t look at that as anything but the fact that David Gaider is out of the loop”. He still has friends at BW but no longer lives with someone who works at BW, so it’s not a day to day thing, and of course currently the pandemic means that he’s not going to casually come into contact with them either. “So my surprise is only just, I had no idea that that was gonna happen and I reacted to it on Twitter, the same as anyone else and that’s it.” He also knows that a lot of people were like “Oh nooo!! Dragon Age, Dragon Age...” (worried about what the departures mean for the franchise and the upcoming game) and he can speak relatively freely as he no longer works for BW and hasn’t done so for 5 years now: “I have nothing to fear so what you’re hearing now is not corporate speak.” He says he would say that people should take the “omg this is the end of DA” stuff with a big grain of salt.

Some people have said that Executives don’t make games, and that is true. On one hand, Mark was the project director of DA which is a very powerful position as you set the overall tone for the game. In that position you don’t make the game but you make a lot of important decisions. Mark always had a really light hand with DA in that he liked to give a lot of authority and ownership to his leads, for good or bad. “The fact that he’s moved on and is going to be replaced by someone I don’t know, the fact that I don’t know him doesn’t mean that it’s automatically going to be bad. People forget, when I left, I left DA a year before I left BW. It wasn’t because I didn’t love BW it’s because I was done. That’s what happens sometimes with people, they get done and they move on because they think ‘you know what, it’s probably better if I go’. And that’s how I thought.” At the time DG felt that if he kept working on DA he wasn’t going to produce good stuff. It was feeling like he was repeating himself and he didn’t feel like he had any stories left for the world, “so somebody else [should] come in with a fresh take and do much better”. It doesn’t mean that the new person will automatically do better of course, “I don’t know him, I don’t know what his goals are”. But DA is an established thing. “He was the EP on Anthem, and whatever he was doing on Anthem it was to make Anthem a better Anthem”. But that doesn’t mean he is automatically going to bring Anthem stuff over to DA (as again, DA is pretty established).

If he does, well, that would be different, but sometimes it’s time for a fresh voice. “Maybe it was that in this case. Maybe something went on. I honestly couldn’t tell you. Gaider is out of the loop. And nobody who currently works at BW would give you a straight answer in either case, because that’s just, you just don’t do that. You don’t give the goss on the inside, that doesn’t happen, you’re never gonna get it. Unless of course Mark or Casey decide to speak for themselves, and they certainly can.” He imagines that a lot of people inside of the company don’t actually know what happened - this often happens. Inside you’d hear the rumor mill, but the rumor mill inside a company the size of BioWare and EA is pretty inaccurate. “You’d hear things that people would swear were true, and then later on when you talked to the people actually involved they’d be like ‘no, that isn’t what happened at all’.” So, “I wouldn’t read too much into it. The writing team that I assembled is still there. PW is still there. John Epler is still there. Karin is still there. Matt Goldman is still there.”

DG didn’t always get along with Matt Goldman, but he believed that he [Matt] knew what DA was about and that he held its best interests at heart. They just had occasional differences of opinion in terms of how exactly that would be relayed [in the art direction], but he knew that deep down Matt believed in the same DA that he did. “So these are the people that will be making DA. So don’t lose hope just yet. I mean if anybody would have reason, I mean listen, if anybody would have reason to start crying into their beer and to start worrying that DA might not be awesome, it’s kinda me ok. This is my baby, I want to see it do well, if I was really worried - for the sake of the people I worked with before I might say nothing, I’d hedge my bets, but I certainly wouldn’t lie to you [us the listeners] and say positive things. So don’t go gloom and doom just yet, that’s my suggestion. There’s a lot of stuff that can happen between now and release.”

At this point LE chimed in: He thinks it’s really important to remember to give everyone a chance and remember that everyone is generally trying their best. We should give everyone who is coming into the new leadership a chance to do their best work. That work might be different from what has come before, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. In fact, he’d argue that often, trying to repeat the same thing as before is often what makes games terrible. He’s excited to see what happens and what this brings to DA. Remember that a lot of the core team is still there. The project is unlikely to suddenly rapidly shift gears.

DG: “Unless that was their marching orders, like unless say EA came to Mark and/or Casey. Although Casey is [was] the studio director, I don’t think they’d be involved in day to day, and that he’d be that involved, but who knows, who knows. Maybe they came and said ‘we’d like to change DA to [this or that]’ and Mark/Casey were like ‘fuck that, I’m out’. That’s possible but I really have my doubts that EA would reboot DA yet again, that would be really strange. But I guess we’ll see. We have this new guy, maybe he’s like ‘awesome I get to work on DA’, maybe he loves DA, I dunno. I guess it’ll be interesting to see.” New leadership! “Although I say a lot of the team is still there, they will have to do what they’re told. When DG was on DA a lot of people assumed ‘DG is in charge of everything relating to the setting and can do whatever he wants’ and “that was never true. I always had people over me.”

The higher you go up in the hierarchy or food chain at BioWare (at BioWare, not talking about EA), the more of your time is taken up dealing with EA (this is DG’s understanding). Someone at the Aaryn Flynn or Casey Hudson level is spending all of their time in meetings with EA doing very high-level stuff. So like, for example, if Aaryn Flynn had something to say that would affect the game project they were working on, that was probably being filtered down from above. He would never say it directly, he’d say it to their leads, people like Mark. Then Mark would meet with the project leads and he’d say “this is coming down the pipe and we have to do this.” And by the time someone at DG’s level or below got the info they’d have no idea that it had even come from Aaryn. 

LE: “There is some anti-EA sentiment in the chat and I wanna - publishing is very complex. The relationship between a studio and a publishing arm is often very complex and it’s rarely as simple as saying that the publisher is always the bad influence.” It’s always complex, sometimes it is the publisher saying that they have certain expectations, but often it’s also the studio. If a publisher sets a series of expectations, the studio then makes decisions in order to try and meet those expectations. So it’s not like there’s always one party is at fault. “That is so rarely the case.”

DG: “In my experience the publisher is always willing to absorb, you know like, be the bad cop. They’re like whatever, it’s fine. And I find that a lot of times the problems were happening at the studio level. By the time EA gets involved, those problems were already sorta existing. I mean I think that in the past, and maybe there’s an element of this to BW too, I dunno, but in the past EA took on a troubled studio. They bring them on and those problems still exist, but from the outside it looks like they only existed once EA bought them and that’s generally not true.” There’s a bit of corporatization where EA do what seems natural to them, where they want to make the policies and the pipelines at the studio match that of EA. So they’re like ‘we need to change the way your management structure works to follow the way we do things’. That’s when the changes start and there is an element of “Now people whose time is taken up dealing with EA become sort’ve, as insulated from the reality of the project as the people at EA.” This insulation is where DG thinks a lot of those decisions get made. In his experience the people at EA all mean well and are all just trying to do their best. “I really don’t think, in my opinion, that EA deserves the bad rep they’ve gotten, and I worked for them for 5 years. The kinds of things that people lay on their shoulders are the kinds of things that happen in all big companies just by virtue of them being giant behemoths where the right hand doesn’t always know what the left hand is doing. But they get extra visceral hate for it because the corporate stuff that affects companies happens to affect companies that gamers love and attach a lot of feelings and ownership towards. Often those gamers weren’t even aware that there were problems at a studio before EA took it over so they’re like ‘big bad EA came in and destroyed everything’.”

LE: It’s also the job of the publisher to cop the flak and be the bad guy, because someone has to be and often it’s easier and better for the publisher to take responsibility for that.

Regular dev commentary

LE and DG have a rule that they won’t talk about DeepLore (tm) on these streams. Anything that’s not public knowledge DG won’t say. DG knows what the DeepLore was when he left but that was 5 years ago. Stuff that hasn’t been made public yet the current devs are pretty okay with changing if they need to. DG recalls that when he was there they didn’t change it very much as he had a fairly firm vision, but his is not that vision anymore, so they may have decided to go in a different direction, he has no idea. If he told all the deep dark secrets his old friends would hate him and they’d change it all immediately anyway (due to the need to come up with new surprises). And that could be extremely expensive. Or they may have decided to do another story since then and “then I would literally be talking out of my ass and lying to you”. He is no longer subject to an NDA anymore though.

When Matt Goldman started on DA2 as Art Director after the DAO Art Director moved over to be the head of BW Montreal, they had maybe 1.5 years to produce all-new art assets OR they could just go ahead and use the accumulated library of assets that they had accumulated in DAO, even though some of the stuff didn’t look that great. “Imagine his conundrum” - if he used the existing library that meant they would have a lot more variety, but it would also mean that everything new they produced would have to follow the same look, feel and color scheme of the original or else it would look out of place. “Also original art meant a lot less art.” 

Sheryl Chee always wrote the best lines for Purple Hawke. When they play through DA2, DG will point them out. Sometimes they’d be wondering ‘hm what do we do for the sarcastic option here’ and SC would just quietly pipe up in the background with her idea and they’d all die lol. DG recalls people asking on the forum at the time if they could romance Teagan. Jowan was almost a party member. Narrative designers are halfway between an animator and level/story designer, straddling both sides - the narrative and the art. In a conversation they’re the ones doing camera shifting and animations etc. At its height DAI’s team had about 120 people. Throughout the middle parts it was 70-80.

For a long time during DAO dev they didn’t think they’d be able to get enough models on-screen at once. That was always an issue with that engine. DG would be like “I need to do a city” and they’d be like “well, we can fit maaaybe 10 people on-screen at one time”. DG: “And it’s like what the fuck engine is this? That was always my comment but I have no idea honestly how this stuff works.” They kept telling him this is as many as they could fit, “and I’d bitch and bitch and go home and play a PS3 game where you’re a photographer stuck in a mall and fought giant hordes of zombies. And I’d be like ‘omg how is this even possible’. But it’s not like I know. And I will say it’s not that people weren’t trying really hard. The programmers were doing everything they possibly could and there’s a difference between engines designed to have massive crowds and ones designed for something else.” It’s never simple and there’s always so many things to weigh up. A big part of the tradeoff is the fact that we have parties in these games. In DA the parties take up so much processing, it’s the most intensive thing on screen and has the most different pieces that it could be. Every armor variation etc kind of all exists at once, and the fact that you have a party means that this part of the game is basically 4x in terms of all the requirements.

There’s a pretty big difference between writing for dialogue lines that won’t be voiced and ones that will. You [the writer] get to rely on the voice acting a lot more in the case of the latter, like you no longer have to have the character say “I am angry”, because the VA can deliver a line angrily. This actually took them a little while to get the hang of. In DAO they were still getting the hang of this. It wasn’t really until DA2 that they really grasped that they could rely on the VA to impart what they were trying to express. They also had to learn to read their lines out loud as they wrote them, otherwise they ran the risk of getting to review and reading it and realizing it doesn’t sound as good out loud as it did in their heads when they wrote it.

It’s a mistake that Zevran couldn’t pick locks when recruited. Not until DAI did they think ‘we should try to align the abilities that the characters have with what they talk about’. At some point they thought all rogues should be able to pick locks and at some point someone was like ‘we have [should have?] rogues that are more pick-locky types and ones that aren’t.’ “Nobody told me and it was just one of those things that sort’ve fell off the radar.” 

The HoF didn’t appear in DAI because giving them a voice is just asking for trouble. For about half of development they tried to have the HoF be the Warden across from Hawke in that DAI plot, but it was just too weird. “We were like, everybody is going to be really upset at this. We can’t make them look like they did in DAO, we have to give them a voice, everyone is going to be upset. Late in the day we had to cut it and boy did that require some fancy writing on PW’s part to write around that.” The thing they had for the longest time was that right at the point where the HoF would come out from the back, the player would be popped over to CC and be made to recreate their Warden, which kind of ruined the surprise. That was so heavy on the GUI requirements and they were so worried that it would be really strange, and then how do you account for people who never played the previous games or the fact that the Warden is from years and 2 games ago by then?

LE highly doubts that any of the previous PCs are going to appear again in any future games. It’s so incredibly complex and just not worth the effort most of the time, especially with CC. CC is so difficult to replicate because the art style changes completely between games. It’s very difficult to make the new system automatically replicate your char’s face from the old system, then you’ve got the VAs potentially to bring in - like 8 different VAs potentially [in the HoF’s case], just for one or two scenes. It’s a huge investment and then everyone will still be like “that’s not my character”. [Hawke’s reception in DAI is kind of an example this.]

At one point they were actually torn between Richard Madden and GDL for Solas, and then finally GDL was available. They were torn because originally Solas was going to be funnier and Richard did the funnier bits better. And then they were like “Why don’t we just rewrite Solas?” So Solas was originally meant to be a low-key, funny type character but was rewritten for GDL, who speaks with gravitas. PW heard GDL and was like “I wanna make him more serious now”. DG: “So it changed. And I can’t even imagine now what it would be like if Solas was funny.” Solas’ iambic pentameter was PW’s idea. PW is very good at verse. The fact that PW was able to write so much of Solas like that is a remarkable achievement, DG at the time didn’t realize that they had done that. “For the longest time I was like ‘Solas has a particular lilt to the way he talks, it’s so odd, is that because he’s Welsh?’” The editors were not particularly pleased with PW for this lol. Editor Cori May was very good with voice as a voice editor, chars with very specific voices could be given to her. She’d softly read lines over and over again to make sure they had the right sound and number of beats etc. “I gotta hand it to the editors, KW, Cori, Ben Gelinas, for all the fact that writers do good work it’s editors that make it shine.”

DG can’t take sole credit for Dorian. The writers rely on each other for writing assists and there’s a lot of people who will touch their characters. Also the VA brings a lot to the equation too, giving life to the char that isn’t in the writing. The person who did the visual language for Dorian, from his Mercury mustache to the asymmetry of his garments - if he looked different he’d be a different char. All those things come together. But he understands that the words are what players experience so that’s what people tend attach the importance to.

There was an initial draft where Cassandra was very sanctimonious. It wasn’t very appealing so DG went to rewrite her and was trying to figure out ways to have her have some more humanity. He saw online a little comic where Cass was reading smutty literature and he laughed and was like “What if... she was a fangirl?” This is how Cass’s smutty literature/secret fangirl side came about.

2 of the DA2 basegame romances are bi for sure, 2 you could argue are “playersexual”. DG doesn’t really like that word but it’s fair. A lot of times bi chars weren’t real bi rep but a matter of convenience. When they went into DAI they had a long discussion: “do we want to do the all-bi thing again?” There was a pro and con list there, for each option. They felt that them having their own orientations gave them more agency, that they had desires and existences that existed separate from the player. He understands that some players just want to be able to romance whoever they want and gets that, but that’s not what they (the dev team) are here to provide with these games.

You can tell that a narrative designer had a lot of time to work on the “HoF reaches Connor and Isolde in Redcliffe” scene. There was some simple/rudimentary mocap done for DAO but not much. There was no performance capture for DAO though, which is a kind of different thing. Isolde did wrong but there were extenuating circumstances. DG was disappointed by how this plot turned out and feels that he made a mistake by giving the player the possibility to have an optimal ending. After he was done the plot initially, he doesn't remember how it came up exactly but it was like ‘What if you could go to the Circle and get their help and this was a way you could avoid making the terrible decision?’ At the time he thought this sounded interesting and he thought of it as something like an Easter egg, as in if players did things in the ‘right’ order they could get this option. But the way it worked out in the fanbase is that it’s the only route people take usually because it’s optimal, naturally - you get everything while risking nothing. This destroyed the actual requirement to make a choice, which was the whole point of the plot. “So I allowed you an out which actually destroyed all the emotional fallout.” “In the end I undercut the effectiveness of my own plot.” He believes in happy endings but they should be earned and you should have to give up something to get them (not necessarily a literal blood sacrifice though lol).

DG was asked in the chat about the things EA are reported to have forced BW to do, like forcing them to work on Anthem, the crunch time and forcing them to work on a complicated engine etc. He responded that the person was mixing up a lot of what EA was doing vs what the internal BW folks were doing. There’s a lot of layers of responsibility when it comes to things like that, broken schedules, bad management etc. It’s a complicated question and you can’t really shuffle all that stuff to the publisher. There’s shared responsibility. It’s safe to say that a lot of people meant well. What he heard was that as time went on there was a lot of pressure on the team that became extraordinary, there were a lot of what’s called ‘stress casualties’ (people going on stress leave and getting ulcers and stuff). This is something that gets pretty bad and is a problem across the industry that needs to change, it’s not just specific to BioWare. EA is a public company so they don’t have traditional-style investors who can really influence what goes on, at least not in the same sense that a private company would. Instead their goals are largely driven by money. LE: “If you wanna blame something, essentially, blame capitalism.”

They usually go for authentic accents but DG thinks that in Isolde’s case it wasn’t. For Zevran they tried for the longest time to get an actual Spanish speaker, they went through so many auditions. They struggled to find one with the tone they wanted and one that would suit the genre. They tried people from Spain but the sound was different from the one they wanted, so they thought ‘let’s just throw open the casting and see what we get’. “I was honestly trying to find a legitimately Spanish person. And then one day it was like oh, this guy sounds like Antonia Banderas, kinda sexy, quite clear, and then I went to LA to meet him as part of the initial rundown, and I walk in, knowing nothing about him at all, and he’s this 6 ft 2 kind of Scandinavian looking motherfucker. God, you played yourself David.” At this point in time Freddie Prinze Junior wasn’t doing this kind of VAing yet, to his knowledge anyway. But had they known he was an option back in DAO he’s sure they would have tried to reach out to him, because they were trying to find the authentic thing and not a mimic. As time went on there became more importance attached to finding the authentic thing, so that the actor could concentrate more on the acting and less on doing the particular kind of voice that they wanted. 

This was initially a problem for Morrigan, in a sense. When she was first cast the guy they had at the time had an image in his head where she was 18 years old and so initially Claudia had to pitch up her voice to sound younger. This blunted her because she had to constantly think about it, and it affected her performance, so 2 sessions in Caroline was like “fuck it, at this point they [the overseeing people] won’t be listening anymore”. So this is why when you first meet Morrigan she sounds higher-pitched than she does later on. Her later deeper register is Claudia’s natural voice. “When you first meet her she is doing the customer service voice and then she just can’t be bothered anymore” [this was a joke]. Claudia had never done VAing before so on the first session she wore a really loud shirt - a rookie mistake.

There were a lot of quests that didn’t make it into DAO, which he regrets, although it’s always the case. One of the biggest for him here is the one in Denerim where the player went to the Orlesians and it involved the Queen and we learned a lot more about Loghain. The cutting of this plot is why he ended up writing the first novel. “You don’t learn this stuff anymore in there so I wanted to put all this lore that you would have learned in that plot into a book.” Talking about cut stuff is always funny because fans sometimes take what’s said the wrong way: “In their mind the cut thing was this perfect, perfectly-working beautiful plot and that we must have just suddenly taken and thrown out for no good reason like ‘What?! Why would you do that?!’ And I guarantee you that this is almost never the case.”

DG feels that Isolde’s performance at the “Filthy murderer! He is an innocent boy!” bit is actually quite heartbreaking. (This is the killing Connor route). It broke his heart when she did the “Don’t kill my baby, I beg you” part in the soundbooth. DG remembers the awkward moment when they had to have a conversation with the artists where it was like, “Ok, Connor has been brought to this point because of his desires, his desire to help his father, so it is a Desire demon. And then one day they got the models and they were like ‘oh’. Well... I hope you know that this is the demon that has taken over Connor... And there was just this sort of blank look.. Ok, that’s how we’ll write it.” (Context: Desire demons were supposed to be gender-neutral Sandman-style, not overly sexualized.) He saw the scene where Connor flails around and the Desire demon comes out before the PC fights them when he was having that talk, and was like “Alright, well ok, let’s do it.”

At one point Fiona was on the list of potential DAI companions. “I remember talking about Fiona as the Grand Enchanter.”

Mary Kirby wrote Merrill as having a stop-start, stuttering way of talking. “I remember when I read that, that kind of writing is great to read but it’s basically death for VAs, as they have to very naturally try to replicate the stuttering, which can be very difficult for actors to do. It usually means we have to do a lot of takes for each line until the actor figures out how they want to do it.” Eve Myles though, she came in and was like “I read the character and I understand, I get how she feels, let’s go for it” and launched into it and was amazing at it from the get-go, “wow”. Eve is on DG’s [very short] list of “chars for whom I got my number one pick of VA”. When people do dream-casts of actors it’s usually a lot of A-List actors/unrealistic choices that they could never afford. Caroline for each char would sit down with DG at the outset and be like “If you could have anyone for the part, anything you wanted at all, who would you have?” DG would never go for A-List names but when watching shows and stuff, if someone had an interesting voice he’d be like ‘oh they sound really cool’ and would tuck it away in the back of his mind. When they switched elf accents over in DA2 to Irish and Welsh, they included the Welsh specifically because DG had 2 Welsh actors he really wanted to see in a role. One was Eve Myles and the other GDL. They couldn’t get GDL for DA2 but he obviously came on for DAI.

BW sometimes committed the cardinal sin of combat design of having a boss battle which introduces mechanics that aren’t used anywhere else, “that we haven’t actually trained you to deal with or for which the current tactics which you used to play the entire game suddenly don’t work. I hate those.”

There’s no golems in DAI because they didn’t have time to make a model. 

Caroline is very good at getting VAs to the emotionally sad places they need to be in to record such lines, but after they’re done she gets all quiet and is like “ok, let’s take a break everyone”.

The level designers kept putting cemeteries everywhere in DAO and DG was like “No, why, they don’t bury people.” “Maybe they burn them the bury the ashes?” “No, why would you do that?!”

There’s a whole bunch of elements from Arthurian legends sprinkled throughout DAO. “They’ve been significantly filtered but if you look carefully it’s like ‘oh you lifted this right out of Arthurian legend didn’t you. Morrigan, Morgan le Fay, sleeping with her brother, the Holy Grail. Not all that clever David. You’re just a thief’.” Initially when DG talked about the world before release, he had a lot of trouble realizing how many people equate inspiration with copying. “I don’t know if it’s because they don’t know how inspiration works, I don’t think that’s true, but it’s like. They say ‘where did you draw inspiration from?’ and you’d say ‘Well I drew it from X, Y and Z’ and they’re like ‘Oh, so it’s JUST like X?’ No, it’s inspired by X. It’s a starting point.” “Some of the things if I told you where the inspiration came from you’d be like but they have nothing in common. Well, maybe nothing you consider important but there would have been this one aspect that I liked that came from there, and that’s it.” He eventually had to stop talking about it because people would say, for example, that an in-game culture was inspired by a real-world culture and be like “therefore they are exactly the same. It’s like, no, that’s not what I meant. That’s a difficult conversation to have.” So some of the DAO elements were originally inspired by Arthurian legend, but it changed from the original point on a daily basis to the point where in cases it’s not recognizable at all, “that’s how we roll”. [source] 

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

[‘Insights into DA dev from the Gamers For Groceries stream’ transcript]

#dragon age #bioware #video games #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #anthem #solas #cassandra pentaghast #my lady paladin #lgbtq #morrigan #queen of my heart #next mass effect

[closer-stars]

Gut Feeling (6)

Member: San Genre: bit of angst, kinda better tho?? Word Count: 6.6k Content: A bit better than the last chapter. Food mention as per usual. Maturity.  Note: HELLO AFTER A MONTH. I AM BACK. This one is a lot shorter than the other chapters, idk it just felt right. Second half of this series of sorts amen. It’s not a lot but... i guess you can consider it as those type of stuffs that needed to happen ??? Yes. I tried my best amidst everything that happened recently ;; As usual I’ll update this with links after 24 hours. Tag list: @barsformars @shinyddeonghwa @yeotlny @hwaberrykiwi @miniyeo @seoultraveller @frankenstein852

Part 5

It’s back to work but you’re a little dazed. The two rest days did you good to a certain degree but having to go back into the swing of things was a bit of a challenge for you. Even if the managers would give you updates, it’s different when seeing it in real time. So here you are, back in the office, catching up on everything. 

You head out to the kitchen to get your bottle refilled with water only to be greeted by San himself. Out of surprise, your heart does a little flip. You don’t know why you’re surprised though, usually at this time he and the boys should still be in the studio. Also, you’re the one who’s bringing them home tonight. 

San looks up from his phone, just as surprised as you are to see you. “Hey, how are you feeling now?” He asks, his voice soft and careful. 

He’s not ignoring you?

You make your way to the water dispenser, refilling your bottle. “A lot better, thank you.” You say, which comes off more as a murmur. Though it was true, you weren’t really sure of how to approach him since that talk with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. It’s constantly fight or flight and knowing you, it’s usually a little bit of both. 

“Can we talk?” He starts carefully. At his voice, you look up from your bottle. Your eyes study the male carefully. You can’t keep running anymore you suppose. 

“Five minutes. Go.”

He didn’t expect you to cooperate like that but he’ll take it even with the time limit. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for thinking that you and Seonghwa liked each other--”

You and Seonghwa, again. You had questions but you let him continue. 

He sees how your eyes narrow at him and he feels fear course through his body.  “for making things more difficult for everyone, especially you. You don’t deserve that, I still have feelings for you yeah but I understand if you don’t…” he trails off, trying to catch his breath after saying everything. “I just-- you deserve an apology after everything I caused.” 

Something inside you snaps though. You’ve harbored enough frustration from how everything was going and to hear him come clean about his assumptions just made you see white. “That’s the thing with you idols, you suddenly get so used to getting everything so quickly, you think everything is reachable with a snap of your fingers. San, wake up, please. That’s not how life works, that’s not how relationships work. Not everything’s going to be fast and easy...” You refrain yourself from cursing him out, instead, you let out a sigh. “San, relationships, romantic or not, those take time.”  Internally, you had to admit those words were harsh but you had to say it. You were tired. Tired from the growing workload of finding the common ground with clients, you barely had time to process everything since the near dating scandal. You ended up actually putting your account on private a few days after the chaos on social media. 

It’s past five minutes already and you let him go to his scheduled practice with the boys. “Go. The boys are waiting for you.” You state, catching sight of a concerned Yunho standing by the door. 

He’s never seen your eyes so cold yet so hot at the same time. It doesn’t take much to know that there’s pain in those eyes and it hurts to know that he’s the reason behind the pain. Knowing better than to push, he nods and bids you goodbye. You watch him jog over to Yunho who seems to be eyeing San then you with concern. It would be stupid of you to underestimate his smarts, so you shake your head, before turning away from them. You don’t want them to see you cry. You try your best to keep yourself together, you’ve cried enough over this matter, it’s pathetic. 

When San enters the studio, Yunho gives the two oldest members a look, enough for everyone to know that he had talked to you, regardless of how it could end. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seonghwa asks carefully, bringing him aside away from everyone’s ears first. While it’s a blessing that the group feels emotions so strongly, especially for the sake of performing, there were times where intense emotions become scary to deal with. When the younger shakes his head, they know better than to press him when things are still so fresh. 

Hongjoong glances at the two of them and nods. “Let’s try to clean half of the choreography tonight.” That would probably be enough to have San’s focus on something else. 

--------

You’re back in your office, thinking about what had happened. You know you would need to sit San down and get a clearer picture of everything eventually. Your phone buzzes, reminding you that the boys have to eat soon. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] Do you guys have money for dinner? 

You hover over the send button, deciding as to whether or not to send the message or just buy them food. It’s already 8PM and for sure those boys were hungry. You don’t really know what their routine is when it comes to choreography work especially with how stacked their schedule is, it could be anything. “Fuck it.” You delete the message and make your way to the nearest restaurant. You make sure to wear a mask before leaving the premises, already paranoid from past events. 

If there’s one thing you’re grateful about, it’s how the boys are already regulars for the nearby restaurants. All you have to do is say their names and show your proof of relation with the boys and the company to get things moving. You stay outside the premises, not wanting to take up a table that could be for someone who plans to dine in. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] Bought you guys food, will be there in half an hour max. Buy yourselves a drink or whatever in the 7/11 just give me the receipt afterwards. 

[ Hongjoong to You ] ryan_salute_sticker

You chuckle at the reply and wait patiently outside, watching people come and go as the week comes to an end once more. The staff comes out with bags of food ready for you. “We put a little something for you as well, it’s on us.” She says, gesturing to the food container that has your name on it. The look on your face makes her chuckle lightly. “Don’t worry about it. Tell the boys that we’re looking forward to them visiting us again after their promotions.” With that, you flash her a bright smile, promising to relay their thoughts to them. 

By the time you return, you could hear the boys messing around in the studio. Not that you minded, they do deserve to have some fun every one in a while. As you set the food down on the table, two figures suddenly make their way to the kitchen. An excited scream that could only come from Wooyoung startles you. “Meat!! Oh my god is that what I think it is?” He exclaims zooming towards you with his energy drink in hand. Hongjoong follows him a few seconds after, still drinking what seems to be orange juice. 

You let Wooyoung do his thing, already so excited over food. “Can you get the others?” You ask Hongjoong, as you make sure that Wooyoung doesn’t create a mess. It’s not that you think Wooyoung’s incapable of being responsible, it’s that you know that when he gets excited, hell can break loose. 

You eat at the second table, at least you had the company of the other members that you don’t get to talk to often. It was a nice change of pace, though still as hyper as their peers they know how to slow down. Though the conversation was on something you didn’t quite understand (see: dramas), you didn’t mind hearing the boys talk about it with such excitement. Mingi and Jongho were kind enough to give you context especially when you looked a little lost. 

“Manager-nim! We’re done for the day.” Hongjoong says once you peek out from Jongho’s side. 

“Oh? Okay that’s good, just take your time eating. I’m bringing you guys home anyways.” Those words make the boys bustle with energy. From the looks of things, it’s been a while since it was you who brought them home. 

It’s the same thing on the way home. The boys calming down in the car as the food coma hits them: San’s knocked out in his seat, slouched against Wooyoung’s side who’s busy on his phone. Hongjoong was the same, except he was leaning against Seonghwa who was also asleep. Mingi and Yunho were busy on their phones as well, looking for new music to listen to. Jongho is seated next to you, still awake. “Jongho?” He responds with a polite hum, still drinking his water. “Just what was your schedule today? Everyone’s so tired.” You were used to them sleeping on the way home but something about today just feels so different. 

Jongho laughs softly, his shoulders rising a little in the process. “Ah, it’s mostly preparations for upcoming stages. We have concert appearances in the next few weeks so we just really drilled the cleaning earlier. I think Hongjoong-hyung had a radio appearance yesterday too so he could only catch up on sleep here and there.” He explains. “The others also did vocal training and dance training in their spare time.”

You glance at the boys through the rearview mirror. No wonder they were more exhausted than usual. “How about you? How are you faring with all of these?” It’s a question that must be asked especially to someone who tries their best to be just as dependable as their hyungs. 

“Me?” He repeats the question before pursing his lips for a moment. “I’ll admit that it gets tiring.” He looks over his shoulder. It’s no surprise the rest of the boys have fallen asleep. “But I’m happy doing what I’m doing. As for the recent thing happening between you and San…” This boy really doesn’t beat around the bush. “He’s matured,” he reassures you. “He’s learned from his mistakes.” Truthfully, you weren’t sure of how to respond to such a statement but you let him continue. “Let him make up for his shortcomings. You can depend on us too.” You weren’t sure if he’s the third or fourth person to tell you that, regardless you find comfort in his words. 

He sees your body relax slightly as you drive. He doesn’t want you to think he’s trying to get you to date his hyung, rather to see him as someone who feels sorry for what he’s done and genuinely wants to make up for it. “Thank you for your words, Jongho.” You admit softly, easing the car into its parking spot. “Help me wake up the boys?” You ask once you’ve switched off the engine. 

“Cover your ears.” 

“Jongho, it’s past midnight. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

--------

You had a mix of now wide awake boys and still groggy boys in the elevator with you. Of course, Jongho looked a little too proud of his doing. Hongjoong didn’t have the heart to get mad, he was clearly improving in his singing and control. You let a still sleepy Wooyoung lean against you as the elevator goes up. Holding up a sleepy twenty something year old was a little tricky but at least he wasn’t drunk. You had made sure their floor was the first destination, they’re tired. They need the rest more than you do. 

Once the elevator notifies everyone of the floor. You gently shake Wooyoung awake. “Hey, we’re here.” You say softly. It’s thanks to Yeosang and Jongho who manage to wake him up, a few insistent pokes apparently do the trick. “Sleep well guys.” You wave them goodbye. Those who were awake bid you a good night. Your eyes flit over to San, his shoulders seem a bit lighter now. 

You wonder what made him look a lot lighter now. Maybe Jongho was right. 

--------

You’re in your sleepwear now, nursing a hot cup of tea as you think about the events that went down today. Your phone in your free hand as you read through your conversation with San. It’s hard to admit but you did have your own shortcomings. A thoughtful sip and a deep breath. You owe him something too. 

San’s in his room, already in bed, as he was just waiting for Yunho to return from the shower. 

Ka-talk!

His phone vibrates with a new message. It’s from you but it’s an audio clip. He reaches over for his earphones. It takes a while for him to play the clip, a little fearful of what it carries. “Hey San.” Your voice sends a shock over his body. He didn’t expect you to actually send him something. “Listen, i’m doing this because i can’t look at you outside work, as far as i know, for now at least. I can see why people like you San, i really do…” Your voice trails off and San has to glance at his screen to make sure if it wasn’t cut off. “I will admit, if things happened differently, I probably would have caught feelings for you too.” A small part of him twists at those words but it was something that didn’t surprise him. “For now, still, I need time and distance unless it’s needed for work for us to talk. Everything you told me…” Another pause. “I need time to process that San.” He understands that and he stares at the screen count down what’s left of the audio clip. “I do forgive you but I need time to heal.” He smiles softly at the last few words. He didn’t want your romantic feelings at this point, being forgiven was the best thing for the time being. 

“What’s up?” Yunho asks. Out of surprise from the sudden voice, San accidentally drops his phone on his face. Yunho pokes his head from his bed to see San clutching his nose in pain. “Are you okay?” The older asks in alarm.

“When did you finish your shower?! I didn’t hear you.” San complains once the pain ebbs away. He lifts himself up, eyeing the other through narrowed eyes. 

Yunho shrugs, running his fingers through his still slightly damp hair. “Two minutes ago? You were busy on your phone so you probably didn’t hear me.” He explains. That made sense, his volume was around 70% so he wouldn’t be able to hear Yunho enter the room unless he started playing League. 

“Sorry about that..” San says rubbing the back of his neck. He recounts the voice note with just the important details: you forgave him but you need time to heal. Something in Yunho relaxes at the news. Your reaction makes sense, but also seeing San look like something has been lifted off of him were good things. Even if it seems like something’s still bothering him, he still looks better as compared to the past few months. 

Yunho shakes his head, dismissing the younger’s apology. “I’m just glad things are kinda patching up with you and them.” He yawns through his thoughts. “Let’s talk about this when we wake up. I’m too tired.” 

San looks at his phone again. It’s 2AM. They need sleep, at least their day starts at a later time. 

--------

While San and Yunho discussed your voice note, you were in your room, biting your lip in thought after that voice note you sent. You like what you were doing but you didn’t think the price to pay for a hectic job would be like this. Did other managers go through this type of issue as well? Fingers fly through the keyboard as you look for a certain draft in your emails. You read through it again a few more times, asking yourself over and over if this is a good idea. 

The answer comes when you change a few things here and there in the letter. If it still lingers in your head after this week, then you’ll push through with the change. Making decisions at near two in the morning wasn’t always the best idea. For now, you need to rest to prepare for the next day. 

---------

You wait for the boys outside their dorm, knowing that by now, they’re nearly done getting ready for another day in the studio. If you remember right, their choreographers have managed to create a choreography for one of their songs that they have yet to perform. The boys come out of their dorm in their training clothes and you give them a quick scan, to make sure it’s all eight of them. 

“Manager-nim!! Did you sleep well?” Leave it to Wooyoung to still continue to cling to you. It’s nice to know some of the members are morning people still despite the hectic schedules they have. 

You think back to last night and your decisions but you don’t let them in on it. “Yeah, sleeping after a long day in work seems to feel a little different.” You say brightly. This causes Wooyoung to sulk at your words. 

“Are we a handful, Manager-nim?” He asks in a tone that makes certain members glare at him, also he’s now clinging to you. None of the members have the heart to make him stop, but they do pose themselves to hit him. 

With your free hand, you pat his head. “No, you’re not~” You return in a light enough tone that just fans the flames of Wooyoung’s antics. In response, you snort much to his disappointment. “Come on. After tomorrow, you got a concert to perform in so it’s all rehearsals and meetings for your upcoming photoshoots.” 

--------

While you’re in your workspace, fixing the schedule with their personal schedules in mind, Yoon comes to you with a grin. “Hey, good news.” He greets you with an iced bottle of coffee from the 7/11 downstairs. 

You glance at the coffee then at the male who’s still beaming. “What’s up? Did you get a raise?” You ask as you twist the cap open. Iced macchiato. 

“Manager Hwang’s coming back earlier than expected!” He says, grinning ear to ear. 

Your gaze turns to him, surprised but also partly relieved to have the guy back soon. “Really? I thought he’d be back much later.” You say, clearly taken aback. “Also hey!” You quickly add. “If you wanted me out, just say so.”

Your joke makes the guy panic, realizing his words could be misunderstood. “No way! You’re amazing to work with. Hwang has to experience working with you.” He explains quickly. “I’m excited because this also means, you’ll see how great he is in FIFA.” 

FIFA? The football video game?

You were about to laugh at his panicked expression until he mentions a video game. “Wait, I was joking about you wanting me out also, FIFA? What about it?” You didn’t really play video games growing up. You watched your cousins play but never really had an interest in playing. 

“You haven’t seen how competitive the boys get with video games huh?” 

“I’ve heard stories but never seen it happen in real time.” 

He grins. Truly, like idol, like manager. “You will soon.” 

You press send on the email after making sure it’ll be directed to all the parties involved in the decision. You suppose Hwang’s return is a sign that you’ve been looking for. The request would only be effective by his return as you did keep your side of the agreement. 

The only thing you can do now as you wait for their response is to work. Your phone rings with a reminder, time to bring them to meet the stylists for an upcoming photoshoot. Though, you do remember that the stylists themselves are the ones who are visiting rather than the boys. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] Make sure to look presentable, the stylists are coming within an hour. 

You look around the office and the kitchen for the refreshments for the stylists. Once successful, you put them by the counter in the kitchen. The fitting and meeting were mostly going to happen in the studio; enough room to move for eight boys and probably three stylists. You didn’t really get a number of how many were coming today. 

Fortunately for them, their schedule had enough breathing room for them to make themselves look well kept after a long time in the studio. Once everything was prepared for later, you decide to check in on them. The music playing wasn’t their songs now, rather songs from the artists they look up to. You peek through the sliver of clear glass from the door to see what they were doing. 

San and Yunho were messing around in the room, eliciting laughs from the rest of the members. The two were running around and were actually on beat with the music. The scene in front of you makes you laugh to yourself: they were doing okay. As you straightened yourself again, to return to your office, the door opens enough for the muffled bass to be amplified. You look over and it’s Mingi. “Manager-nim! Did you need something?” He asks, even with the hint of exhaustion in his eyes, he still had so much energy in him to flash such a bright smile at you. 

His question surprises you but you suppose he saw you peeking earlier. “No, no. I just wanted to check on you guys since the stylists will be here in roughly an hour.” You explain, gesturing that you were on your way back to your office. 

Someone calls out your name in between laughter. It’s Wooyoung. “Manager-nim!” He calls out, running over towards the both of you. “We need a tie breaker.” Huh? He doesn’t explain much but tries to get you to join. You glance at Mingi and it takes him awhile to understand why, to which he starts to crack up. 

“What’s going on?” Your voice carries apprehension. Now, you know these boys can barely hurt a fly, but these boys are capable of doing the weirdest things for the sake of entertainment. These are eight boys who will have a competition on who can stuff the most ramen noodles into their mouth in one go. The other two managers have become unfazed to their antics while you have yet to see just how far they can go. You’re not quite sure if you could handle them at their highest peak of beagle-like energy. 

“Manager-nim,” Wooyoung starts, now holding up a pen as if it were a microphone. “Are you a mint-choco fan or a mint-choco anti?” He asks, now posing the pen near your lips. 

You stare at him in disbelief, then at the seven boys who seem to await your answer. “W-wait.” You push the pen a little farther from you and gesture to the others. “What are their answers?” It was obvious for you that San and Mingi were into mint chocolate, while Seonghwa and Hongjoong being the two who weren’t into it. 

Wooyoung answers it for you with ease, though with a hint of impatience. “San, Mingi, Jongho and I are into it. Seonghwa-hyung, Hongjoong-hyung and Yeosang aren’t. Yunho’s neutral on it.” To you the answer was already obvious that a majority leaned towards liking the flavor. 

“Guys, I’m just…” You trail off trying to find the right words. The silence makes Hongjoong jump into it. 

“Manager-nim doesn’t like it either! Bleh~” He exclaims, looking all proud. Rare was the sight of Hongjoong being mischievous in front of you. 

“N-no, it’s just, I don’t really mind it. If it’s there, I’ll eat it. If it’s not there, it’s not the end of the world.” You explain, much to his dismay. 

“How can you eat something that tastes like toothpaste..” Seonghwa mutters much to San’s dismay. His comment makes you look at him in mild alarm. 

“Seonghwa, toothpaste doesn’t have chocolate bits in them..” Just what went on in their dorms? Your words make him whine and you start to laugh at how they were so passionate about something as simple as ice cream flavors. You wondered what their stances are on pistachio and matcha ice cream then. Your phone vibrates, a call coming through. While the boys were busy trying to win the debate, to which Yunho slightly struggles to control, you answer the call outside the studio. 

“Hello?”

“Hello! We’re the stylists for their upcoming photoshoot. We’ll be in the company in ten minutes!” The voice on the other line chirps politely. 

The voice makes you stand a little straighter, almost on instinct, you use your formal voice. “Alright, I’ll wait for you by the entrance of the building.” With that the call ends, you return to the studio and it’s calmer now, though you could see that Wooyoung and San were sulking over what could’ve been the other half of the debate. “Guys, get ready. The stylists are on their way.” With that said, the boys fix themselves again. 

Hongjoong looks over at you. “Manager-nim, should I go with you?” 

Now, in your eyes it’s not a bad thing if the leader decides to greet the stylists with you by the entrance. It’s not a bad thing either if he doesn’t. “Your choice, Hongjoong. If you are, meet me by the elevator. I’m just grabbing my laptop.” Without missing a beat, you slip out of the studio immediately. You can only imagine how much notes you need to update for the other teams after this meeting. 

Once you head towards the elevator, you’re already greeted by the leader busying himself with his phone as he waits for the elevator to arrive at your floor. “Seonghwa and Yunho are watching over the boys?” 

“Yep, they’ll take care of them as we wait.” His response makes you nod, relieved to know someone’s keeping them in line before their energy bounces back up once more. It’s not that you think they can’t take care of themselves, but more of, when one’s up, everyone’s up. 

The elevator doors close in on the two of you as it brings you to the ground floor. You want to tell Hongjoong what had happened in the past few hours but now isn’t the right time. Just as you were about to open your mouth about a quick summary, the doors open. Though knowing Hongjoong, he already knows something about it even without you telling him. 

It only takes five minutes of waiting for the two of you to be greeted by three stylists. Though they dress simply, they knew what piece fits them best. A small pang of jealousy blooms in your chest when you see how well kept they were; you knew your own body and fashion and how to look put together as well but those who were in the fashion industry just seemed to do it better. Small talk happens among the five of you as the of you lead them to where the rest of the boys were. Maybe it was a good thing that Hongjoong came with you due to the some of the clothes they brought in a few bags.

There was something about the third stylist, that put you off. It wasn’t her overly warm and optimistic energy, which honestly at this point doesn’t faze you anymore as other idols who have greeted the boys had the same energy she had. You weren’t so sure yet of what it is, but you’re not sure either if you want to find out what’s putting you off about them. She continues to make conversation with Hongjoong as you’re left juggling a conversation with the other two. You don’t notice Hongjoong’s uneasiness around her until the two of you welcome them inside. 

 The two of you do notice how her eyes light up at the sight of everyone else who were lounging about. You just assume that she was a big fan of them and was struggling to keep it together and carry on. The boys do their signature greeting then move about to get their measurements and a run down of what will happen in two weeks time. 

You along with another stylist keep track of the clothes that the boys and they liked, those that were debatable and those that just didn’t look that great on them. The other two took their measurements, and offered the clothing pieces that they would try on. The first stylist from earlier seems to be taking her sweet time with San. If you actually focused on listening to their exchange, you could tell she was having the time of her life. It took a lot of your self control to not outwardly sigh in front of the stylist who was labelling which clothes the boys liked as their basis. 

It takes a while before the said stylist moves to another member, and at that opening, San immediately moves away. You glance at San over your laptop, and he’s sending you a look that says, ‘I’m not talking to them unless I have to, please help.’. While San is a grown man, you do know how it feels to be cornered at work due to unwanted advances. You flash him a smile and beckon him over. “I hope you don’t mind if San helps us out on this too?” You ask the stylist as he practically hops over to the two of you. Much to San’s relief, he welcomes the added input. 

San’s eventually joined by Mingi who knows more of fashion than you and San combined. You could see the gears in their heads running as the idea in the stylist’s head was starting to become more and more clear. Once all of the work has finished, the boys take one last look at the outfits the head stylist has set out, you know that they wouldn’t change anything anymore but you kept your fingers poised on your keyboard should there be any changes made. Seeing that everyone was satisfied, they ask you to take their photo to celebrate a job well done. 

You receive the head stylist’s phone and you let them gather around for the photo. It’s not hard to spot the first stylist from earlier try to worm her way near San, only to be blocked by Wooyoung and Seonghwa already around him. It takes a bit of your self control to not snort at her feeble attempts be quashed so easily by clingy boys. Three shots and everyone’s now back to cleaning up the room. 

The eight of them help pack and fold everything into their rightful place that the head stylist had to send her praises about them to you, even going as far as offering their services for the future promotions. She slips her contact card to you, which you keep in your phone’s case for the time being. This time, it’s only you who accompanies them out, much to Hongjoong’s surprise. You signal that you’ll be okay and for him to keep an eye on San. 

---------

“I swear hyung, she was trying to hit on me…” San mutters in his spot as he shudders at the mere thought of it; the praises were alright but the slightly lingering touches and gaze made him want to leave immediately. Some of the boys find a little amusement in his complaints, they understand the issue on hand but to see San whining excessively was a sight to see. Of course they couldn’t do much about the situation while it was happening but they could prevent it in the future. 

The door clicks open and they see you poking your head in. “How was it?” You ask them. It has become a routine for all of you to check in on them after meeting with any outsider of the company. They’re still young and while they have good heads on their shoulders, the industry is a scary place to be in. 

“Manager-nim, is it alright if we don’t work with one of the stylists on the day of the photoshoot?” Hongjoong starts carefully. Always a leader that guy is. 

You glance at him then at San who was still sulking against Yunho’s shoulder. “The lady with the high ponytail and rolled up denim jacket?” You ask, even acting out how her clothes looked like. At your description, San jumps into the conversation. 

“Please? Is it possible? Manager-nim, Ms. Mihyun was trying to know me a little too much and flirting with me.” San pleads. You feel bad for him. In other circumstances, being hit on would’ve been an ego boost but being hit on at work really doesn’t sit well with you. 

It’s the way you look at him that he realizes just how you’re able to keep things professional. You still look at him with protective warmth and concern for his safety, even after everything. It gets his head a little dizzy to put it lightly. “I think I can make it work. The head stylist did like your work ethics, even wants to work with you guys in the long run.” You bring out your phone, making quick work of writing a message up to the head stylist. “Hello! This is ATEEZ’s manager.” You read your message out loud for them. If there were any comments from the boys, you tweak the message around to their liking to make sure the point of the message is received. 

The boys were impressed with your message and didn’t mind it one bit. They could see why the company wanted you: you could fit in any of the teams. Once satisfied with their response, you press send. A small part of you waits on a reply from company heads in regards to your email but even that would take some time. With a group that’s a rising icon in the k-pop wave plus a few trainees that show just as much potential as the boys, the love calls from other companies are still coming in. 

For now, you’ll enjoy and make the most out of the time you have with the guys through your work. 

--------

Over the next few weeks, San has been more mindful of his actions around you. While he still cares for your health like the first few months, he’s come to understand you a little better now. He does his best to see you more as who you really are, rather than the idealized version he had of you months back. He’s realized you had a bit of a soft heart behind your independent exterior, how you always preferred a stronger type of coffee, compared to the group (much to Seonghwa’s horror). It took a bit of time to notice how protective you are of your own friends and them. 

You pick up on the changes as well. He joins in on the teasing every now and then, but always making sure never to cross the line. Sometimes at the corner of your eye, you catch San watching you joke around with his members, his gaze soft but he never makes a move. He doesn’t seem to sulk over the lack of attention either, letting you joke around with the other members as well. They’re small changes but it has improved his performance as himself and as a member of ATEEZ. 

There were changes and there were still constants. He still stays late into the studio practicing new moves, new styles, different combinations just to better himself. As usual, you bring him back to the dorms. He doesn’t make a fuss about you waking him up now, rather he hops out of the car as soon as you switch off the engine. You were a little grateful for that, more time for you to sink into your bed after the long day. As you step out of the car, rummaging through your bag, you find him waiting for you by the elevator. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” You say as you rush over to press the up button. 

“Nothing to be sorry about. It’s late after all.” San reassures lightly. He watches you rummage through your bag. “You got your phone?” He asks. He’s noticed as well how you sometimes have slip ups with your memory. You bring out your phone, putting it in your pocket. “Wallet?” He asks then he sees you bring it out. “Powerbank.” He lists off and that’s when it takes you a while to bring it out. 

“That’s what I forgot.. It’s in the office.” You mutter. There was no way you’d drive back to the company to pick it up. You’ll just bring your charger for tomorrow. 

A soft amused huff slips from his lips and he gestures for you to enter the lift first. “It’s okay, I can bring my powerbank tomorrow.” He offers as he follows you inside. 

“You don’t have to. I can use my laptop as a powerbank if all else fails.” You return. 

Always an independent one you are. He doesn’t push but he still keeps it in mind to bring it just in case. “You know,” he starts, as he presses the number for your floor first. He then leans against the wall opposite of yours. “After that thing with Ms. Mihyun, I kind of understand why you were probably against the idea of us dating.” Well he knew of your main reasons, but Mihyun really had him thinking. 

You lean against the wall, arms crossed. His words had piqued your interest. Whenever San’s in those moods, he does drop a few things that remind you he’s maturing. “Oh? And what is it?”

“The idea of flirting and being in a relationship with someone while at work is kind of.. Weird.” he wasn’t sure if weird was the right word but to be the subject of flirtations while everyone is trying to work didn’t feel right to him. He knows he can separate his personal life with work but emotions have made him act out of line. To risk all that he’s worked for: for the sake of a relationship, maybe not now. Hearing you chuckle makes him frown in confusion. “What?”

You were endeared by his moments of childlike tendencies. You know he has a way with words but there were also moments where his vocabulary reminds you of a high school kid. “Mihyun really tried to flirt with you huh?” You ask. The conversation is cut short when the elevator pings; you’ve arrived at your floor. You return your gaze back to the male. “Anyways, get some sleep okay?” 

A small part of him wanted to walk you back to your apartment, but he knows this complex was a safe one. You also apparently knew how to hold yourself up against Wooyoung’s pestering actions. He knows better to offer that so he smiles at you and nods his promise. “You too.” He addresses you by your name this time though still with the formal honorifics.  

“Drop the formalities when we’re outside of work, San.” You say. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else but a good night, as the doors close in on the two of you. You’re back alone now in the lighted hallway, a heavy sigh slipping through your lips. Another long day coming to an end. 

Your phone pings with a few alerts that you’ve kept at bay throughout the day. One of the notifications is from the email you’ve been waiting for. Your request has been approved, effective in a few months.

Part 7

#ateez scenarios #my writings #idk something about writing this chapter felt natural and right #though a bit of a struggle since i had to juggle my first dance class and among other things lol #hope this is okay for everyone though ;; #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfics #ateez fanfic #i'll try to make part 7 more san centered lol

[stopeatingwhales]

talk tonight x noel gallagher

i’m back with another noel fic ;) i know the meaning behind the song is completely different to how this story is presenting it, but i’m changing it up so it can fit the storyline. i don’t know why i always write so much for noel BUT he deserves it <3

Paring: 90s noel gallagher x reader

Warnings: its just really fucking soft okay

Word count: 3.809

Requested by anon <3

༉‧₊˚✧

“Stop writing so many mopey songs!” Liam yelled, tossing the now wrinkled piece of paper at his brother, containing heartfelt lyrics to another one of Noel’s melancholic masterpieces. “We’re not a sad band, for fucks sakes!” 

Sighing, Noel looked away from his sibling’s frustrated stares. Taking a hold of the paper, he unfolded it slowly, attempting to stretch out its unfortunate bruises: formed when gripped firmly in Liam’s palm as he skim read it atrociously. His eyes trailed from the top, all the way to the bottom of the page, examining the lyrics that messily peppered the sheet. He had spent hours, days, relentlessly trying to get the words right; it seemingly sounded better in his head rather than on the paper, his heartfelt remorse towards the amounts of paper he used - and eventually binned - ghosting his mind as he stared at the title of the song. Talk Tonight. 

Usually, he would be skilfully speedy with writing such anthems, yet, with this song, he felt it contained more of him than anything else did - his bare heart, unexpectedly torn out of its ligaments, dusted on a random chopping board, framed for the entire world to see. The public would have no idea who it was about and why he had written it, but knowing the obsessive fans that queued for hours just to buy a 7” single, crammed gigantic concert halls, chanted back memorable lyrics, which were either written hurriedly, wanting to complete the song or were age old melodies, well thought out in his childhood bedroom - accompanied by Liam’s occasional interrupting with his rowdy complaints about their mother not allowing him to go out and mess around with his friends at the time. His fans may either be oblivious as to the meanings of the song, or they may be able to depict it as adroitly as a neurosurgeon figuring out the exact muscle which broke apart the spine. You never knew. 

Noel stayed silent, not replying to Liam, leaving the standing sibling puzzled by his distanced expression. Expectedly, he assumed Noel would answer him, perhaps with a scolding, reminding him that he doesn’t write the songs, and that Noel’s the mastermind of it all, to which Liam would throw a hissy fit, storming out of the room in anger towards his repetitive comeback. Nevertheless, all that sounded in the room was a light hiss of wind escaping from the outdoors, seemingly into the small crack of the slightly opened window; you couldn’t tell whether it was shut or open. The fresh seeping air felt like it was intruder, like a fox deciding it was their place to rummage through your neighbours’ bins for a midnight snack, and after not managing to find anything, leaving all the bin bags ripped open, the trash every place imaginable in the adjacent front yard. “Noel?” Liam spoke, walking up to where his brother was sat, eventually inviting himself to sit next to him.

Liam’s words snapped Noel out of his ponder over what seemed to be anything imaginable. Blinking a couple times, he rubbed his right eye irritatingly, finally responding to his awaiting brother. “What?” he asked, folding up the paper once again, hiding it from Liam, as if he hadn’t already seen it previously. There was an element of secrecy in this song, something he found himself afraid to admit, even to the closest person to him. 

Taking note of this, Liam slowly gained an idea of the reasoning behind his aloof body language. “Who’s it about?” he questioned, snatching the piece of paper out of his sibling’s grip, once again. As he opened the fold, he noticed Noel’s tense body again from the abrupt clutch of his work. He re-read the roughly written lyrics - some endings of the words resulted in being smudged due to the pen his brother was using - this time seeing the lines in a completely different light. Noel was calling out for someone, a hint of plead, offhand desperation, a simple crave for attention, all effortlessly foreshadowed in his words. This wasn’t an ordinary song; this was about someone, someone close to him. 

“Who’s it about?” he repeated, his tone on the stretch between rough and soft, like a baby’s screeching, features soft yet voice ever so repulsive. Noel’s dry, lifeless responses began to agitate him, though he tried to hide it, his eyes trailing off to study the older brother’s distinctive features in a midst of the silence, always taking interest into his sibling’s prescence. He took note of his messily arranged mop hair-do, decorated lightly with significant stands sticking out freely; it was obvious that his attention being undivided towards his meaningful lyrics made him feel that he had no need to do himself for anyone else, along with the curved bridge of his nose, morphed in a delicate overlay of skin, a unique microcosm to who he really was. Both Gallagher brothers were pictured in the magazines as loud, condescending, boisterous teenagers from a poor, working class background, each one oblivious to the understanding of how to control (and handle) the spotlight - yet always wanted it to be on them. However, the way the world pictured Noel wasn’t fully correct: yes, there were times he was off of his head, drugged up in all sorts of class A drugs he seemingly was able to purchase from the insane sales their debut album, Definitely Maybe, had scored. Regardless, the world saw Noel as the twin of Liam: the same, when without a doubt both carried such idiosyncratic differences.

Once again, Noel kept quiet, engrossed between his many thoughts and ideations, not knowing whether to answer Liam or keep his silence. Noel felt the strong stare of his sibling being emitted onto his flesh, drawing himself two options: telling Liam and having him shut up about it, although he knew he wouldn’t, or keep his brother asking the same questions, his curiosity - and aggravation - increasing every millisecond as his quietness progressed on. “Is it someone I know?” the sibling asked, causing Noel to swivel his head instantly - locking eyes with him in surprise. Yes, Liam, it is. 

Liam was quick to catch Noel's startled expression, immediately thinking of all the girls they had been friends with, or had been working with them within the past year. They didn’t have many girl-friends; when you’re front page on practically every entertainment article about how loud and tatty you usually were tended to result in hatred by the mass population of women. Regardless, there were enough girls to be friendly with; when you’re drunk in a pub at three in the morning searching for a passionate night with someone, it’s less likely you’re going to keep your eye out to not sleep with someone as attractive as the Gallaghers. “Is it Matilda?” 

“No,”

“Evelyn?”

“No,”

“Nicole?”

“No! It’s Y/N!” Noel yelled, agitated by his brother's bombarded neediness to know.

“So not Nicole?” 

“No,” he repeated, his mind beginning to despise the word after the countless amounts of it rushing off his tongue in the mass of a few seconds.

“Good, because I like Nicole,” Liam mumbled, gazing straight at the window, intently listening to the quiet sound of cars driving by on the road beside them. 

Shocked, the older brother bunched his eyebrows together and squinted his eyes. “You have Patsy, Liam,”

“Yeah, but,” the younger brother began, before being caught in realisation. “Wait, Y/N?” 

Sighing, Noel came to a conclusion that there was no way of escaping the situation. “Yes, her,” he replied, taking the song out of Liam’s palms. He had stared blankly at the sheet hundreds of times, lost in a dream, yet each time he felt as if he was reading it for the first. Every time his eyes laid upon the first few lines, his heart felt as if it was a balloon being punctured with a toothpick on accident, cascading out of a little child’s hand in the middle of the sidewalk, flying onto the road making it unable to get a hold of it again. The kid cries, but the mother tells him to get over it, you’ll get another soon, she says. Noel rarely spoke to Y/N, and when he did, he either stuttered or was too drunk to finish a sentence. She made his heart flutter, in the most endearing ways, receiving a small smile from the girl brightened his day to the fullest. Sometimes he wondered if he was in love with her, love at first sight when they first locked eyes in the recording studio, the band’s manager introducing them to the band as the recording assistant. She was the prettiest girl he had ever laid eyes upon.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Liam asked, wrapping an arm around Noel. “Or even, why haven’t you gone out with the girl yet? She’s single ain’t she?” 

Noel nodded his head, staring down at his fingers as they cradled the sheet cautiously, hoping not to rip it in the slightest. “I was thinking of showing the song to her, since I have no fuckin’ clue how I’m supposed to tell her how I feel,” he added, pulling his hand up to chew on his nails - out of nervousness of the idea of presenting such a heart-wrenching song to her. 

“Tell her tomorrow, show her the song after recording,” Liam suggested, slipping his top lip into his mouth, wondering what was battling his brother’s thoughts. He had never seen his brother so naive to how to talk to a girl, tell her he wants to go out for a drink with her, enjoy each other’s company as friends, not co-workers, for once. It was like the entire topic was something so new to the sibling - not even his brother could aid him with directions over what to do, exactly presenting a child the quadratic form, they would never be able to understand it. 

A few long, impatient seconds whistled by in the room - the ambience tense yet soft, bubbled to the brim with thought. Liam didn’t want to say anything else, knowing his brother wouldn’t answer; he wanted to wait for a well thought out response, one that would make sense - unlike receiving flat-out no’s, which brought both boys off guard over the repetitiveness. “You think it's good enough?” Noel questioned, locking eyes with the opposing brother once again. Funnily enough, he knew the exact answer he was going to receive; he could hear it in the room, bouncing off of the walls, the exact words rolling off of Liam’s tongue. He knew him so well, he didn’t need a conformation of words as they fell off of his lips.  

“Go for it,”

~~~

After another strenuous day of recording, bickering, and a sporadic storming out by the lead singer, they somehow managed to record two songs: Acquiesce and Headshrinker, both songs to be included in their first single release, Some Might Say, for their upcoming album. There was high anticipation for this forthcoming LP - tabloids had the topic stained on their lips, the matter embossed in their heads, it being the only thing they were able to talk about with a such excitement, almost exactly like the buzz the band received with their first album, due to it becoming the fastest selling debut LP in the UK charts. Everyone was shocked by their sudden appearance, and along with their rugged up, tough looks, you couldn’t take your eyes off of them. Unsurprisingly, the air in the room was filled with up to the brim in fog - all from the hundreds of joints that were scruffily wrapped up and burnt, all up to its butt to be chucked away in the dustbins. There were ashtrays decorated all around the room; some practically overflowing in dust, others merely sprinkled in ash it could almost present as unused and clean. Time felt distant; with the clock itching to strike hour 5, the atmosphere was left fussy, all five boys drained entirely from the ridiculous amounts of re-recordings they had to do, along with Guigsy being especially annoyed by a decision their label had made for an upcoming gig they seemingly had to start planning for. Bollocks, he shouts, slouching down in his seat, as Bonehead scoffs at his continuous childlike behaviour.

“Right well, I’m out,” Liam yells, his eyes immediately drifting onto Noel. Giving his sibling a nod, he grabs hold of his spliff again, his fingers softly entwining with the roughened fabric, inhaling sharply before exhaling out its poignant contents in front of Y/N’s face. “Bye, Y/N,” he adds, turning his head away and swaying out the door - trying to present a cool-like physique. The rest of the boys follow, except Noel. She laughs at him, whispering a short bye before carrying on with her previous activities. The boys were planning on going to the nearest bar to  hang out, we deserve it after all our hard work and dedication to this shitting album, Liam would always repeat. Not like their lives aren’t situated with cigarettes, bars and alcohol practically everyday. I want to find a bird to sleep with. You have Patsy! Oh, yeah.  

After everyone had left, it was only Noel and Y/N left in the space. Noel was sat in the recording room, playing around with the strings on one of his many Gibson’s, his fingers lightly tapping on the metal cords, attempting to settle another melody for another upcoming song he had thought about. He was always like this. He was the definition of the I’ll-see-you-guys-there type; he constantly had something to do beforehand. He carried such a creative mind, you never wanted to interrupt him when he was left in his element, you knew he was going to create something amazing - he always did. Y/N currently had her headphones on, her head slowly bopping to the sounds of the music she was playing as her eyes were focused on the controls. Every few seconds she would mess around with the controls, either boosting the bass or lowering the sound of the guitars, continuously finding something fun to do with the tunes. As the song she was listening to had come to a close, she clapped lightly to herself, accompanied with a wide grin plastering on her face. Listening to music was her favourite thing in the world to do; it repeatedly gained her such emotional satisfaction you’d envy it from afar. 

His eyes drifted onto stare at Y/N. Every time he laid her eyes on her, he was perpetually enthralled. Enthralled by her presence, enthralled by how much dedication she can hold to one small, simple thing - she never seemed to get tired by anything, even by his younger brother’s whiney behaviour. She was most certainly the best one to speak to him whenever he was pissed, agitated or refusing to do as everyone was telling him to: whether it be because of an argument he had in the midst of recording about how the lyrics sounded, resulting in him storming out, or about a petty comment that was slipped out of their managers’ lips about how hard they are to work with, she consistently knew what to do. Her voice always held this calming tone, almost like she could never shout, get mad, even if she tried to. What made Noel inspired for his songs wasn’t the same, rapid rush of exhilaration that he’d gain as he was nearing finishing the song; it was the Oasis in her eyes that motivated him. She saw them as this power, this light that no one was able to obtain, Noel being the only one able to unlock the true colours behind it. The mastermind. Whatever she said, whatever followed off her tongue professedly felt like it came straight out of a book - no matter what conversation was occurring. Her words would repeat in his head until they became engraved and cherished, saved for another moment to remember.  It would never leave his mind. He was constantly captivated by her, in the most desiring ways.

“What are you doing?” Noel asked, attempting to hold a conversation. His fingers were still messing around with the cords, this time his other arm resting on his lap instead of situated on the neck of the guitar. He watched her head lift up, switching her gaze from the controls to instantly lock eyes with Noel, a bright smile now glued onto her face. 

“Just having a bit of a play with the controls,” she grinned. “And you, mister Noel?” 

Laughing lightly at the tiny nickname he had received from her, his heart warmed by her blissful aura of everything he had wanted to see in a girl. She always carried optimism wherever she went, consistently held her head up high. “Figuring out something for a song,” he mumbled to her, to which she nodded her head slowly in reply, her eyes now staring at the guitar placed on his lap. Her eyes kept switching from to the nape of the instrument straight to its body, practically analysing everything that was on it. This carried on for a few seconds, the air mute until Noel decided to speak up with something he was anxious about bringing up. “I wanted to show you something,”

Building up enough courage, Noel placed his electric guitar on the stand next him, exiting the crammed recording room to quickly enter the lounging space. Y/N’s eyes never left his body; her curiosity stretched out in the masses towards the lanky boy’s withdrawn approach, striking her attention right away. The entire time he avoided locking eyes with her, trotting into the space quickly as he went to grab a random acoustic thrown on one of the couches in the room, knowing his nerves would reach a breaking point soon enough, for even thinking of creating contact with her enticing, sunlit orbs, filled with an itch of interest and consistent undivided attention, would cause him to shrivel back into the young Mancunian boy he once was, before stuttering slightly and rushing out of the room - danced in embarrassment. He had never come across a girl who was able to strike him in such a way his nervous system was at a risk of collapsing, the only songs he was able to write about people tended to either be his brother, or situations with friends - for it was never a girl, he was never like that. 

Snatching the previous seat of the acoustic that was cradled in his arms, Noel pulled the instrument closely to his body - the wooden material now in contact with his clothed chest. Inhaling the air as if it were a spliff coiled with weed, he took deep breaths, counting down from the number five before speaking up again. “This one’s called Talk Tonight,” he echoed, before his fingers - as if magically casted a spell - automatically shifted places on the fretboard, beginning to strum the solemn notes, beautified with adoration. At this point, Y/N’s chair was completely swivelled, her gaze fixated exactly on Noel, her heart agape as she marvelled at the boy merely inches in front of her. The heavy strums were the only thing sounding in the room, settling on a peaceful, luscious tone, containing powers to set you in a stupor of harmony, reconciliation, sending you straight to sleep in just a few seconds. It had power to heal you, like an antidote adorning your skin, the pain at first making your face scrunch up in distress, then relaxing after a short while, pleasure washing over your veins to realise you were finally healed. 

Once Noel began singing, he became a different person. His nerves were long gone - escaped from his mind, for all tension was now released from his body as his fingers swept across the strings freely. Without even looking at Noel, it was clear that the piece he was performing meant a lot to him, his vocal chords perfecting the notes in hilarity, infatuated by the idea that he was truly presenting it, in real life, to the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about for days on end.  He was singing it like he had nothing left to lose, for he was unmasking a side to him he never dared to even think of letting escape; it all his thoughts, his feelings, pouring out in a short 3-minute song, pacified with emotion - it was impossible not to feel an attachment to the music. As he was nearing the last couple lines of the song, he lifted his stare from his instrument, looking to see if Y/N was watching him, and to his surprise, he was instantly met with her gaping at him. Their eyes were glued to one another’s, almost like they were afraid to blink, or do something to prevent not sharing the moment with each other - even if that meant having your eyes burn out of dehydration. 

“I wanna talk tonight, Until the morning light, ‘Bout how you saved my life, I wanna talk tonight.”                                                                                         

After the song ended, there was immediate clapping from Y/N. It was the same, quiet clapping she bestowed earlier when she had finished listening to one of their demos by the control centre, but this time for Noel, and only him. “Was that for me?” she asked, her grin blaring out in her words. She knew it was, all from the beginning with his awkward walking to grab the guitar, yet she still asked anyways. Noel didn’t answer, looking away to stare at his free hand stroking the couch nimbly. He didn’t know what to say, slightly embarrassed yet glad he finally accomplished what he was trying to muster out for months. At first it was a quickened heartbeat as she walked past him, him being all flushed out with a simple doing, to not even knowing what to say when she asked him a question about his guitar riff he performed, to which he’d turn to look at Bonehead, asking him to reply a question he didn’t know the answer to. “Because if that’s the case, I feel the same way,” she added, knowing Noel’s head would turn almost immediately. And it did. He was met with her lips, brushing against his teasingly, their noses colliding together, on the verge of morphing into each other. He felt that he had finally found the one person who understood him best among anyone he knew; he felt as if she knew him more than he knew himself, without even communicating. It was a feeling so scarce and infrequent, he finally understood life for what it really was, for he would prefer dying in that exact moment than pulling away, having to endure the ache of realisation: realisation he would never have a moment so perfect ever again. 

#noel gallagher x reader #noel gallagher #liam gallagher #oasis #oasis band #britpop #90s #nineties #imagines #band imagines #fluff #smut #angst #my writing

[rametarin]

I didn’t want to reblog another long post, so I’ll just say my own thing here.

Gatekeeping fandom is good, ackshully.

Especially since we have a certain pattern of person, call them, “SJWs” if you want, that deliberately creep into a fandom with their values and shamelessly, deliberately, use it as a platform. They CONSCIOUSLY do this. They DELIBERATELY do this.

And then they have the audacity to see false positives and imagine dog whistles everywhere of things outside THEIR orthodoxy in the fandom being -isms, or -gnies. Accusing the people already there of being “out of date” and “toxic”, when it’s neither toxic nor uninclusive- it just isn’t rearranging itself to accommodate Intersectional Feminism or giving Intersectional Feminists voluntary control over everything from how something works to how it’s defined.

That to them is tantamount to being Nazis. And that’s kind of how you can tell they’re the same sort of daft, disingenuous fucks that wrap up socialist or ancom shit in supposed social progress. And if they could they’re reshape EVERYTHING to match their sensibilities, because their sensibilities are, “our way or you die.”

If you spend enough time peeking through academic papers and colleges you even learn there’s a thing many of them do. Which is, “Queering,” characters on purpose, to make them unpalatable or untouchable to cis/het people. That’s culturally like raising a flag on something to annex it and landgrab it.

And if you say, “hands off, this character isn’t gay?” They pivot and declare you’re just a homophobe whom is afraid of change, tell other people that and then talk in the broad bruckstroke about, “society is really so homophobic/afraid of new ideas. :c”

These people don’t even want to be part of that fandom for the sake of being in the fandom. They just want it because they want the fandom to perpetuate their values and parrot their beliefs and spread it to everybody else that wants to participate in that fandom. Do you like this popular thing? Okay, you can have popular thing, but only if you hug this Courtney Love doll and buy it and pet it and love it as part of the package deal!

And as part and parcel of the demanding to not just define the fundamentals and parameters of a fandom, they also demand to reinterpret the history of said fandom based on how out of orthodoxy to their values they find it to their own beliefs. So, was the hobby primarily done by white men in the past? Then naturally they’ll automatically paint it with a broad brush and say, “this hobby was very unwelcoming to non-whites and women in the past because of icky homophobic and misogynistic men!” Regardless of how many authors were beloved by the fandom that were female, regardless of how many women were equal fandom members before- they weren’t the Intersectional Feminist types of fans, so clearly they were “closer to the Daughters of the Confederacy than real people,” right? That’s how that works, apparently.

So yes. We had a taste of this in the 90s, but the feminists/radfems at the time weren’t trying to infiltrate the fandom and take it over to be about feminism. They were shaming boys and other girls for liking the big booby comic book girls as sexist and objectification and trying to get comic fans to abandon comics in order to pressure the companies economically into changing.

“These comics are written and drawn by MEN! MAAAAALE GAAAAAAAAAZE!!! Sexualized girls are only okay when WOMEN are drawing them and writing them for the authenticity!” And there were not many women that either liked comic books or wanted to BE in them, so they’d maintain that impossible standard to try and coerce the boys to FIND women for the sake of having a woman on staff, just to assauge their, “icky boys aren’t allowed to do this without me declaring it wrong” qualm.

And true to form for Progressives, give an inch and within a short period of time they just want more, and declare what was offered before was just to mollify or patronize them. “Oh so women can tidy up and do the low work. Why no female CEOs in the company yet? Why not Editor in Chief?”

But the way the Intersectionals do it is new. Rather than just stay outside the fandom because “yuck it offends my sensibilities, it shouldn’t exist,” they try and appropriate the fandom and then contribute rules and policies for it.

We saw this in the years leading up to Gamergate. The Subverters infiltrated video game journos, got incestuous and buddy-buddy with both Triple A industry people and independent game creators and traded favors, financial, sexual and other, for good reviews. Folks like Anita Sarkesian trying to make a name for themselves by already being insiders and getting plugged by the conspirators to LOOK like she was anything more than a plant for that cause, using other peoples video game playing footage in her critique videos, styling herself a holistic “girl gamer” and waxing poetic about “those awful neckbearded dudebros questioning my gamer cred! Tch!”

And so that romantic boogyman became a thing that they perpetuated. “The gatekeeping, woman hating, manbaby Gamer.” Where they then added in racism and male chauvinism and traditionalism and transphobia because you know you can’t just leave it at “misogynist.” Not, “in this society.”

Gamers protesting and demanding that game journalist magazines state their relationships to the creators for full disclosure got them retaliating asymmetrically, though. The FBI investigated all those, “threatening and trolling social media messages” that supposedly got Zoe Quinn and Sarkesian to leave their houses, “for fear of an attack,” and they got nothing. A few of them were caught doxxing themselves on purpose on 4chan. Quinn herself being part of the SomethingAwful’s Crash Override forums, where they’d do shit like this to troll and harass people for fun. They KNOW how to false flag and make it look like a bunch of angry dudebros did it.

Statistically the number of harassing egg names was far lower than the messages either girl received that was NOT harassment or threats, merely replies they didn’t agree with or didn’t appreciate. And yet they still ran around screaming about “all those misogynistic dudebro gamers” that were “harassing and doxing them.” And that boogyman became the party line. That Gaming and Gamers were full of toxic, misogynistic, racist manbabies SOooOoOooOO intimidated by, “women finally in what they feel are THEIR spaces,” that they’d try to run them out.

That’s how they interpreted it and that’s how the history books they write will repeat it.

They try and make a great big public show about “entering this toxic space” to flip it and civilize it, but what they’re really trying to do is officially own it. As a fandom, as a space and as a culture. And that entails being able to say what goes, what’s acceptable and what’s not, and set the tone and culture for that space. Meaning, to be able to gatekeep the product.

Rather than just decry the product, they decide they’re just going to mutate the product by slow assimilation, until the product doesn’t even resemble the original product anymore. They do this shit with comic books, videogames, and now they’re working on doing it to beloeved novels and their fandoms. It’s like forcibly marrying them to terrible people, so you can never have a fandom WITHOUT those people in your space trying to insist their interpretations of things are original canon, ever again.

And the sickest part is, these people DO NOT stop at fiction. That’s why this shit is called Cultural Marxism. Because it’s not much different from the way communists and socialist guerillas act and operate when it comes to land, resources and industry. They take over public spaces and forums and use a combination of instittional corruption, terrorism and violence and vandalism in order to destroy or silence competition.

They’ve even infiltrated the Linux community and taken over most of that, via Linus Torvalds’ daughter. You can’t have ANYTHING around these people, because they just sit and wait and conspire to come in and make even a simple community mural to revolve around whatever social issue and specifically their philosophy’s take on it being THE only valid take on it that everybody else must now interact with, good or bad, but they can’t ignore it anymore.

This is, also, partially why they hate it when fandoms are gatekept by singularly powerful individuals. Like say, authors of their own works. They don’t like singular owners of enterprise and property, because it prevents the mob from taking them and then dictating TO the creator, “this is the PEOPLES property now. WE decide, as the most powerful clique, what is true and real with it and what isn’t.”

Because like what happened with Frank Oz of Jim Henson Studios. An activist gay writer declared that Bert and Ernie’s relationship was “canon gay,” because he wrote them as canon gay lovers. There was a great big information cascade as all these affiliated journo companies published articles about how “happy they were to see Sesame Street and the Children’s Television Workshop as representing LGBT people in public!”

Frank Oz spoke up, set the record straight, “These characters were made by me and a friend and were meant to depict a platonic male-male relationship. They aren’t gay but I’m glad you could identify with them.”

That poor old man caught so much shit. They called him a homophobe, said he was, “stealing Bert and Ernie from them,” that he should just shut up and “let people have this.”

No. Fucking no. These people are fucking conspirators, believe wholly in dominating and taking shit over by moving their people into a thing until they have the warm bodies and the institutional authority to crowd out oppositional voices, then have the audacity to SCREEEAAAAAAM bloody murder about the dangers of anybody else organizing to contest them because, “The Nazis are gathering to attack us poor innocent minorities!!” Counting on the ignorance and unsuspecting nature of people to not know such a thing is fake or the totality of the situation.

That’s why they’ll keep this shit on the downlow and call anybody that accuses them of doing shit like this a liar or a tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist. Demanding evidence, in bad faith, knowing there’s little to no way to PROVE any of this UNTIL they’ve done it, and then declaring you to be invalid since you can’t prove the conspiracy.

Because if you can’t prove it with evidence, they’ll simply say you’re a Nazi trying to smear “good people.”