#i got less and less convinced of the coloring as i went on but it was too late

[cuntylestat]

I woke that night to the sound of chaos. Claudia... she was dreaming. Her head, twitching like you would. I can feel her. I can feel her next to me. She's having a nightmare. What's worse than a nightmare? If your soul's projecting out its fears, at least it's up and running. But the absence of anything? The void. The nothing. Pieces... coming back. Hours, nights. Objects surfacing in water.

#interview with the vampire #iwtvedit #jacob anderson #louis de pointe du lac #edits #gifs #this is so fucking insane. how does he act like this! how do they write like this! #also i thought from the trailers this would be like a late season breakdown but first episode? wtf is gonna happen after this? GOD!!! #i got less and less convinced of the coloring as i went on but it was too late #iwtv spoilers

[mydearlybeloathed]

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 (?)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you, now a successful singer, and sanji, now a pirate, reunite unexpectedly when you return to baratie for a one night only performance.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: opla!sanji x fem!singer!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: use Y/N, zeff is a meddler, mild angst

When Sanji woke up that morning, he hadn’t expected a song would be the one to bruise his ego.

It was a relatively normal morning, filled with shuffling around the Going Merry with a pen and pad asking for special grocery requests. It was the usual, for the most part; Zoro wanted alcohol, Luffy asked for lamb, Nami needed brown sugar for something she wanted to make, and Usopp requested chocolate chips. 

All a routine order to convince Zeff to hand over, Sanji mused, flipping shut his notepad as the Merry docked at Baratie. Another supply run was nothing out of the ordinary. They’d be out by the next morning if he had any say in it. 

Then he saw the mischievous glint in Zeff’s eyes, and suddenly, Sanji was nervous.

“What?” He tried to laugh it off. When all Zeff did was clap a hand on Sanji’s shoulder, the Strawhat cook’s curiosity turned to panic. “Zeff, you’ve got that look. What is it?”

Zeff shrugged and led the way further into the kitchen. It was early in the morning, breakfast being prepared as the two spoke. “Ah, nothin’.” He smirked to himself. “I’m just debating whether I should tell you, or let you find out.”

Sanji blinked, now very, very concerned for his own wellbeing. “You should definitely tell me.”

The old man let out a laugh and completely ruined Sanji’s day with just two simple words: “She’s back.”

There was no need for elaboration; Sanji knew exactly who she was. His heart dropped and all color drained from his face, jaw effectively slack. The sight had Zeff’s chest hurting with how hard he laughed.

“I—Why in the seven hells would she be comin’ here, Zeff?” Sanji clawed at his hair, sitting back against a counter and stumbling for his senses. “Last I checked she wanted nothing to do with this place.”

Zeff tutted. “Last I checked she wanted nothing to do with you, little eggplant. She left Baratie with nothing but fond memories of me.”

“That’s—!” Sanji faltered, lips pursed. “That’s fair, actually.”

“Just thought I’d warn you,” sadi Zeff as he moved to shoo a younger cook away from some vegetables and started to chop them himself. Sanji took his place beside him and found himself a knife, mincing some carrots to speed the process along.

Zeff smiled warmly. “She offered to come sing for the guests. I wasn’t about to turn her away. I raised you both. It’s natural I miss her. Then you said your crew needed more supplies the same week she’s here, and well… Would it be wrong to admit this is turning out really well for me?”

“No,” Sanji snapped back. His neck ached and his shoulders were tense, but he just kept on chopping away with practiced ease. “How in hell is any of this good?”

“You two used to be fine as friends,” Zeff reasoned. “It’s only when ya’ tried bein’ more that things went south.”

Sanji didn’t need Zeff to remind him that he’d completely, utterly, definitely screwed up any chance of being at least friends with you again. He knew that. He’d accepted it long ago. It didn’t mean Sanji was any less heartbroken about it.

“Relax,” said Zeff after he had enough of the suffocating silence. “She’s over you. You’re over her.” He finished up the vegetables and called back over the nervous little cook. “I’m sure you know her career took off. She came back to sing for Baratie before her tour ‘round the seas.”

He clapped Sanji on his shoulder and shook him a bit. “One night only. It’s sure to be great.”

Sure, except everything that Zeff had just said was entirely wrong. Sanji was in no way over you.

And Lord knew you weren’t over him either.

Across the sea-top restaurant was you, face pale, eyes wide and glaring daggers into Patty and Carne. The pair stood exchanging worried glances as you sputtered out words they could hardly understand.

“Bastards!” That they could gather. “Why didn’t Zeff tell me Sanji would be here? The only reason I accepted the invitation was because I knew Sanji was off playing pirates.” You tugged at your hair. “Or he’s supposed to be.”

“Don’t look at us!” Patty said, hands raised in surrender. The burly man offered a consoling smile. “Zeff didn’t know.”

You pointed a finger at him, a wild look in your eyes. “So you think! So you think! I bet he arranged this whole thing behind our backs!”

You knew you sounded crazy. Hell, you felt erratic at this point. Seeing Sanji was not something you were mentally prepared for just yet. You rubbed at your temples. “God, I haven’t seen him since I left.”

“It’ll be fine,” Carne siad, his hands settling on your shoulders and giving you a little shake. “Just fine.”

Patty nodded and caught sight of your agent peering around the corner she was eavesdropping from, tapping her watch with a pointed look on her face. Patty mimed rushed assurances and turned back to you. “I doubt he’ll even have the nerve to show up. Not after everything.”

You wiped a stressed tear from your eyes. “You think?”

Patty started to guide you down the hall toward the room your panicky agent was now awaiting in. “Yep. He’s a wimp like that.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, slowly nodding your head. “He won’t even show up. I’ll go out there, do my set, talk to Zeff again, and book it outta here.”

Your steps were more confident as you headed for your room. Carne rolled his eyes at you, in a fond kind of way of course. “Atta girl.”

You pumped a fist as you disappeared around the corner, and the two men could breathe easy now that they were free of your scathing eyes.

જ⁀➴

Ever since you and Sanji first met, it’d been complicated.

Zeff didn’t believe in letting women work in his restaurant. He knew what type of guest his establishment attracted; from the sleazy rich to the sketchy pirates, Zeff didn’t believe it was necessarily safe for women to work there. 

But then there was you, some scrappy ten year-old from the docks of some port he couldn't recall the name of.

You’d been playing a guitar far too big for you, an upturned hat before you. Zeff was bartering for a fair price on some radishes not too far away. He caught the tailend of a song as you finished, the only word to describe the sound being angelic. But Zeff didn’t have time to listen to street urchins play guitar. 

Hours passed and he was back in Baratie's kitchen, sitting at the table eating some soup he’d prepared the day before. All was well and all was quiet. The ship was back at sea. The storage was fully stocked. The little eggplant was out of the way for once. He had a moment to breathe.

“AGH–AAAAH! ZEEEEFF!”

A moment short lived, and he was back to adolescent induced suffocation. The old man’s brows pinched, a migraine on the horizon. Maybe if he ignored it…

The kitchen doors swung open to reveal none other than the eggplant—Sanji’s face was all red, his hair a mess, and he was dragging a girl behind him with a fist in her hair.

Zeff jumped to his feet, this being the last thing he expected when he heard Sanji’s whistle note scream. “Sanji—!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” The girl—you—offered a swift kick to Sanji’s groin. You massaged at your scalp while the boy keeled and flopped over in agony. “Bitch, you ripped out some of my hair!”

Sanji groaned, practically writhing. Zeff nearly felt bad, until he recognized you. “You’re the kid from the docks!”

Before you could offer your quippy reply, Sanji had sent a kick to your shin that had you joining him on the ground. Idiots, the both of you.

Zeff had meant to kick you off when they docked at a port the next month… but, well, you had nowhere to go, and he’d grown used to how you and Sanji bickered back and forth so seamlessly. 

(He’d known before anyone else that you and Sanji had something special, even if the pair of you were too stubborn to admit it.)

Zeff didn’t think he’d ever make an exception to his rules, but then there was you, and there wasn’t much use in saying no to you. 

It started as being a hostess, guiding guests to their tables, and then it was bussing tables. You even tried your hand in the kitchen and were swiftly kicked out after the first fire scare. Then, you’d asked to sing, and Zeff had no objections. 

But even as he grew to think of you as part of his odd excuse for a family, itt was obvious to him that you had no wish to dedicate your life to the restaurant. 

You’d had to abandon your guitar when you stowed away on Baratie, but your voice had no hindering. He heard you when you thought no one else cared to listen—Sanji did too, and Zeff always thought the eggplant realized he loved you the first time he heard you sing.

Sanji wouldn’t try to disagree. He knew there was a point in the timeline of him knowing you where his annoyance at your existence turned into a kind of reverence he had no power to stop. He swore you were a siren, sent from the depths to torment his every waking moment. 

As he grew older his affections only grew worse and worse, until he couldn’t help but kiss you—his very first mistake.

Sanji knew he was far from perfect, and he was far from ever deserving such a sweet love as the one you offered, but God, how he tried.

He failed, always, and that was a torture he tried not to dwell on.

Every time he fell for you, you seemed to fall harder, and he was never good at keeping up. You had dreams and so did he, and as the years drew on, it just… didn’t work, and the on-again-off-again romance was draining you both of any chance for fixing what was left of your friendship.

He tried to blame it on wrong place and wrong time, because he hoped it wasn’t simply wrong person. Sanji promised himself he would keep trying to be good for you until the day he died—but he kept failing. He kept disappointing you, breaking things off only to start them up again, he kept charming other women right in front of you.

Nobody’s perfect, but he could’ve at least tried a little harder.

Then came the day you’d left, finally having enough of his indecision and going out to fulfill all your dreams… With barely a goodbye to him. You’d left a note, of course, but it was short and cold and heartbreaking: “Dear Sanji, don’t miss me. Sincerely, Y/N.”

Sincerely. How was he ever supposed to recover from that?

As far as Sanji knew, you were doing well. There were posters and radio announcements about you, this up and coming star with the voice of an angel. 

And now to the present, where he stood taking a smoke outside the Baratie’s entrance. The moon was high and the stars peaked out from the clouds. The long trail of guests filing into the restaurant for dinner was thinning. 

Sanji took a drag and imagined you, in your room having last minute jitters before heading out to sing. 

“Sanji?” It was Nami, stepping out into the chill night air, concern written all over her face. “You coming?”

His pause was a bit too long, and Nami tried again, “You don’t have to…”

“I…” He wanted to. God, how he wanted to hear you sing again. “I think I’ll stay out here.”

She stood there a moment longer like she wanted to argue, to snap some sense into him and get him to at least try to speak to you. There was so much history, after all, even if Nami didn’t know the half of it. But she went back inside with a hefty sigh, leaving Sanji alone with his tendrils of smoke and wallowing self-pity.

જ⁀➴

Your agent, Flora, was messing with your curls, pulling them over your shoulders as you tapped your thumb on the wood of the guitar hung around your shoulders. 

“Now,” she fussed. “There’s a platform set up at the center of the room. I tested the acoustics at dawn before anybody else could get inside and it's perfect. Just right.”

Her little smile faded when she caught your eye. “Hun, what’s wrong?” She raised a brow. “Is this about that boy?”

You tried to evade the conversation with a roll of your eyes. “Flora…”

“Because I wasn’t going to tell you this,” said Flora. “But he’s been wandering around all day trying to catch a glimpse of you. Ran away every time I caught him. Had to get that Zoro guy to get him to knock it off.”

You aren’t sure why you felt surprised. You yourself had been wandering Baratie hoping you’d catch sight of that familiar mop of blond, but alas. “Do you… think he’ll show up?”

Flora took your hand. “Do you want him to?”

“No.” Yes. You wanted to see him. You wanted to know if he was doing better, if he was better, if all the bad of the past had shaped him into the Sanji you knew he could be.

“Then go out there and sing.” She had an aura of comfort and calm you often envied. “You know what song’s first, right?”

You thought of the setlist your drummer had brought to you that morning and felt your stomach drop. “Flora, I can’t sing that song to him—”

“You’re not singing it to him,” she cut in, starting to lead you out of the little room and down the hall to the grand staircase leading into the dining room. “You’re singing for all those people waiting to hear the songbird incarnate, Y/N L/N.”

You grinned tightly. “No pressure.���

Descending the stairs was the easy part. People clapped as you glided down as light as a feather, guitar around you and a light shining down from somewhere. True to Flora’s word a round platform awaited at the center of the dining room. It was small, but you had a bit of moving room. You accepted the hand of your drummer and stood up on the platform, shooting him a smile as he went back up the stairs to where the rest of your small band was ready to play. 

You turned and suddenly there was a microphone to your right. Had that always been there? 

“Hello, Baratie!” The applause met you at full force, easing some of your tension. Sanji was nowhere to be seen, and you weren’t sure if you liked that. “Look at your beautiful faces tonight. Oh, and there’s Chef Zeff too!”

That got you a couple of laughs before it died down again. “I’m so happy to be back here. Baratie was a home of mine once, and it’ll always have a place in my heart.” Your hand brushed your guitar strings and sent an unpleasant sound into the mic. “All right, enough sappiness. You all want some music, right?”

You cast a glance up at your band, felt a rush of familiarity, and nodded. A steady beat began and you began to strum a practiced tune on your guitar, the callousess on your fingers straining under the pressure. 

“I remember when we broke up—the first time. Saying ‘This is it, I’ve had enough, ‘cause like…’”

“This isn’t working out,” he said, not a pinch of the light you'd come to love in his eyes. He looked cold and unkind, but the frown he was giving you betrayed his own heartbreak.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re… better as friends. I just need some space to think.”

“What? Then you come around again and say, ‘Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change, trust me…’”

He chased you relentlessly until his hand caught your wrist and spun you around. All his words fell short at the sight of your tears. “Y/N…”

“You said it would be different,” you reminded him. Bitterness flooded your senses. “What was her name? Did you even catch it before you unzipped her dress?”

Anger boiled in his eyes. “I didn’t—I just kissed her!”

“Just,” you laughed mirthlessly, shaking your head as you ripped yourself from his presence and stormed away.

“Y/N—”

“Don’t, Sanji!”

“I’ll do better! I promise.”

“Remember how that lasted for a day? I say I hate you, we break, you call me, I love you.”

You tried not to search for familiar faces in the crowd, instead shutting your eyes and letting the music take over, and not the lyrics.

But you were a weak woman, and your eyes pried themselves free to scan the room.

It was dark around the dining room, and the lights Flora had managed to set up were blinding, but there he was. Sanji was by the door to the lower decks, his icy eyes bearing into you with such an intensity you stumbled over your guitar strings. You picked the melody back up before it was too noticeable, but he was smirking, that son of a bitch. 

Sanji noticed. He always noticed everything about you, annoyingly.

“I’m really gonna miss you picking fights, and me falling for it, screaming that I’m right, and you would hide away in your peace of mind…”

“I never said I didn’t want you to go!” Sanji screamed back at you. “I think it's the chance of a lifetime and if you want to, you should go.”

That’s not what you wanted him to say. You took your ground, staring him right in the eyes. “Do you want me to go, Sanji?”

“That’s not—”

“No, I mean…” You took a breath. “Say the word and I’ll stay. I won’t go. I’ll stay here and sing my silly songs on a crate covered in a tablecloth. Just tell me you want me.”

“I…” Sanji wanted to, you knew, but he was too kind. He wasn’t going to trap you here. You could see him choosing to be mean right before your very eyes. “I don’t care if you stay or go, Y/N. Go if you want to. I don’t care.”

You didn’t go in the morning, and the rich patron sailed away with the offer of a lifetime. 

“I used to think, that we were forever—ever. And I used to think, never say never…”

Sanji hadn’t realized Nami and Zoro were beside him till the jeering began.

“Damn,” Nami laughed into his ear. “When you said you broke her heart I didn’t think you meant it.”

Zoro cast him a teasing look. “You were a douche.”

Sanji’s cheeks burned. “We were kids! I…”

“Relax, we’re joking.” Nami nudged his shoulder before she turned back to you. “She’s watching you, by the way.”

“She is?” Sanji snapped his head back up a little too quickly, but he didn't care. Nami dragged Zoro back to their table, leaving Sanji to stare absolutely starstruck at you. You really were watching, an odd kind of look in your eyes. 

It wasn’t angry or sad or happy… but Sanji was sure he had a similar look in his eyes.

“So he calls me up and he’s like, ‘I still love you’...”

Your eyes locked with his and a burning sensation filled your chest. He hadn't changed much. More handsome you supposed, if you let yourself think it. 

“And I’m like… I’m just… I mean, this is exhausting, you know? Like we are never getting back together…”

He tried a grin and a little wave, and memories flooded back in an instant, both the good and bad. You somehow found it in yourself to offer a smile back, and you knew then, the song was probably a lie.

“Like ever.”

જ⁀➴

“Hi…” He found you on the back terrace of the Baratie, where the fish mouth of the restaurant opened up the starry night sky. 

You weren’t pretending to not be waiting, a glass of your mutually favorite wine across from you waiting for him. 

He sat down, mostly because the smile you offered him was enough to buckle his knees. 

“Hey,” you replied, averting your eyes to your glass. 

Sanji wasn’t exactly sure where to begin, but he started with, “I think Zeff set us up.”

You snorted. “Oh, definitely.”

“Uhm…” He looked out at the sea, then at his wine, then at you, and settled on keeping his eyes there. “You were wonderful. Radiant, really.” The stars faded from his eyes as mischief replaced it. “I liked your opener.”

You rolled your eyes and flushed from your neck to your nose. “Thank you. I had good inspiration.”

“I’d say my bad, but it was a good song.” Sanji felt as breathless as he used to, when he was sixteen and just learning how much he cared about you. “You were perfect. Are perfect. Can I still say that?”

You chuckled. “I—I guess so.”

Silence filled the space between you, clicking glasses and chatter from the bar feeling very far away.

“The drummer was good—”

“I think I still love you—”

You slapped a hand over your mouth, watching Sanji’s mouth open and close like a confused fish. His ears burnt pink and a spark of opportunity filled his beautiful blue eyes. You locked eyes, and Sanji started to laugh.

The sound was better than any music and flowed from his lips like honey. Chuckles bubbled up and out of your chest till you were gripping the sides of the chair you were in as you joined in on his uncontained and unending cackles.

He wiped at a tear and tried to get a hold of himself as your laughter died down as well, and he found himself admiring how you looked under the golden lighting of the terrace. “Would it be bad if I said same here?”

There was a brief pause before you threw your head back again and laughed over and over, drawing closer to Sanji till you were side by side, knee to knee, laughing loud enough to warrant a noise complaint.

“We’re hopeless,” you mused.

Sanji shrugged. “Yeah, but what’s new?”

A lot of things, actually. Things felt different, but the same, and it was odd for you both. The same love was there along with the bad memories tagged along with it, but you and Sanji had more experience behind you now. You were older and wiser and good God, you were no longer teenagers.

Some years ago it had been wrong place, wrong time, wrong… wrong everything.

But now you looked at him and instead of seeing the boy who used to break your heart, you saw Sanji. Your childhood best friend. The man who you once thought could be the love of your life.

Maybe… perhaps… it wouldn’t hurt to give it just one more go. All right, maybe you were getting back together. You could see the pair of you meeting back at Baratie a year later, your tour long over and his crew docked for the week. You’re lovers despite distance, awaiting a someday where your dreams finally align.

Sanji pressed a tentative kiss to your forehead, testing the waters in the wake of your laughter, and asked if you wanted to meet his crew. You nodded, meaning to stand when a boy in a straw hat vaulted over the back of the seat across from you and sat down. Then a girl with orange hair and boy with green, closely followed by a dark skinned boy with tinted glasses over his eyes. 

You took Sanji’s hand in your own and blushed at how he admired your profile like you’d hung the very stars in the sky. Yeah, you could see it.

#sanji #sanji vinsmoke #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #one piece live action sanji #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #sanji vinsmoke x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #one piece live action x reader #one piece x reader #sanji x y/n #sanji x you #opla sanji #opla sanji x reader #opla x reader #x reader #reader insert #female reader

[mysticfalls01]

Soulmates

(Alessia Russo x reader)

Everyone knew that you and Less were soulmates, they could see the love that you guys have for each other through a simple look.

You met Less when you were only 5 years old. She was playing soccer with her older brother when she accidentally hit you with her ball. You started crying and she immediately went to console you, she didn’t understand why but she felt the necessity of making you smile. The moment you lifted your head she saw your green eyes, magically in that moment green became her favorite color and you guys became inseparable.

When you guys were 12 Less started to feel butterflies each time, she saw you in the stands when she had a match.

When you were 15 she asked you out in a date as she realized that she liked you as more than friends and in your third date she asked you to be her girlfriend.

“y/nn I know that it’s our third date and I can’t wait anymore to ask you. Would you like to become my girlfriend?” Less asked with a nervous voice.

“Yes Less! What took you so long baby? I've been waiting for years for you to ask me” you said with a playful voice

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You liked football but let’s say that you didn’t have the skills so, you left the playing part to Less while you liked more the behind the scenes. You loved how much the stats could say a lot of a team and even there were times when the stats weren’t reflected on the final score of the game.

When Lessi turned 18 she decided to go to the States to play for UNC, that was the first challenge of your relationship as you feared her finding someone better than you. She reassured you that you were the only one for her so, you guys stayed in a long-distance relationship.

While she went to UNC you decided to go to Barcelona to study sport analytics. You were one of the best students of the program and that called FC Barcelona attention. You went and did a kind of internship for them for their women’s team, your job was to work with the other analysts, explain the reports to the head coach and then explain the numbers to the players.

In 2020 Less came back to the UK while you stayed some months more in Barcelona to finish your degree. During your time there you became friends to the girls of the team, specially to the older members as they understood the importance of your job. When you got your degree your time with them ended and you went back to England. Even if your time ended Barcelona still would hire you to be their analyst for the big games.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You moved back to England, more specifically to Manchester as United signed Less for three years. You were static to be back with the love of your life, your soulmate. Having been separated from Lessi was the hardest thing that you had ever done and you didn't wanted to do it again.

In 2021 Less with the help of Mary and Tooney asked you the big question. She rented out a restaurant just for you guys, she brought you your favorite flowers and after the most perfect date she got down in one knee. Mary and Tooney were hidden capturing the moment as she wanted to remeber it forever.

“y/n I’ve loved you even before I understood the meaning of love. I’ll forever be grateful to my brother as the day I met you he convinced me to go to the park. That day green became my favorite color. You are my number one supporter, and you never missed a game until I went to UNC. Even if I decided to go there, we stayed in a relationship and you don’t know it but you became my rock, with your support I knew that everything was possible. You could have perfectly stayed in Barcelona and work for one of the biggest clubs in the world however, you came back because of me. I remember telling my mom the day I met you that I would marry you before I fully understood what that meant but now, I do and I plan making those words true. y/n l/n will you marry me and make me the happiest woman alive? “

“Yes Lessi! I’ll marry you!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

In 2022 after the Euros and before the start of the new season you married your soulmate. Your wedding was full of friends, families, and football legends in the making. Your friends from Barcelona came to the wedding and even Aitana was your maid of honor while for Less it was Tooney. That day couldn't had been more perfect, you had everything you wanted.

In 2023 Arsenal became interested in Less, they even offered you a contract to join them as an analyst. They knew that Less wouldn’t join them if she had to leave you behind.

Now you and your wife work for the same club even if sometimes Barcelona still hire you for some matches. It was the beginning of a new chapter in your journey but you knew that with your soulmate beside you everything was going to be alright.

You met your soulmate by accident and everything because of football ball that she had hit too hard.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

It was about time for me to write something, even if it's short, for my favorite player <3

#alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso community #woso one shot

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Get rid of it.

🐺Daryl Dixon x Reader

You and Daryl never fought, until you did. Daryl relives old traumas while you stay at Hilltop.

To everyone around, you and Daryl seemed like the perfect couple.

And you two felt like it too.

Daryl always claimed to be blessed having you at his side. You had never once complained about his upbringing showing through in his actions, or got scared of him after finding out what he was. A monster. But not to you.

The two of you were the perfect picture for a new family.

Except that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The two of you had never fought in your time together, not even when Daryl distanced himself after he thought he scared you and convinced himself you wanted to leave. But today the whole community was turned upside down by Daryl’s roaring voice directed at no one else but you.

You had cone back from the infirmary after some nausea and constant tiredness, only to find out you and Daryl had been less careful when being intimate than you at first thought. Your heart pounded out of your chest as you walked into the house where he sat in his chair, cleaning his crossbow.

“Daryl, look!” You were smiling so bright it piqued Daryl’s interest enough to put down his stuff and get up to look at the little thing in your outstretched hands.

“Nah.” His eyes went wide with horror, all color draining from him as he shoved you aside and in long strides barely made it to the counter before his lunch met the sink. You followed his movements and stared in shock. You never saw him puke, ever. He could stomach anything, never even getting nauseous in the slightest but now you watched him empty his stomach right there in front of you.

Your arms lowered as you pocketed the little white stick that showed the perfect little future others would often joke about. It was going to become real now and you were excited, but it seemed Daryl felt different about it.

With tears streaming down his cheeks and drool hanging off his lip he turned his head ever so slightly to look at you. “Ya never asked me. M’tellin’ ya no, right now.” He was still heaving over the sink, barely moving as he stood, visibly shaking on his legs.

“Daryl, you okay?” Moving forward ever so carefully you reached out for his arm but got your hand swatted away with a loud, angry growl.

“Get the FUCK away from me!” The change in his voice knocked the wind out of you, making you back up all the way agains the front door where you had a chance to run but still see Daryl. “Daryl, what’s going on?” The fear was catching up to you and you felt disgusted by yourself. You didn’t fear him, it was one of the qualities he loved about you and praised you for but now with his strange reaction you couldn’t help but want to run and hide.

Especially because he was now making his way up to you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and a look in his eyes you couldn’t seem to figure out.

You were halfway onto the porch, your heartbeat ringing so loud in your ears you barely heard his snarls. “I thought you’d be happy.. I want this.” You stammered through the short sentence, hand gripping the edge of the stairs so hard you were convinced you’d bruise your fingers.

With a rough breath Daryl got right in your face. “Ain’t NO WAY I’m lettin’ ya go an’ do this.” his hand swung out, right in front of your face, but passing it barely as he pointed back in the direction of the infirmary. “Ne’er asked ya fer a kid!” His voice traveled, and already started gathering curious looks from folks. “Yer gonna march yer ass back to Denise, and get FUCKIN’ RID OF IT!”

His roared command had you stagger backwards and almost trip down the stairs, barely catching yourself before storming off in fear.

You wanted to scream back at him, tell him how badly you wanted this. For how long you had wanted this but words caught in the back of your throat and wouldn’t come out so you just did as he asked and ran.

Denise immediately caught on when you came back in crying your eyes out, letting you sit off to the side until you ran out of tears and caught your breath enough to talk somewhat okay again.

“I take he didn’t like the surprise? I’m really sorry. I hope he just needs some time to let it all sink in.” Denise had sat down cross-legged on the floor with you, holding out a hand for you to take and ground yourself.

“He got so scared.” You were barely believing your own words. Daryl didn’t get scared ever. “Then he got mad..”

Your words shocked the medic, having known and gotten close to Daryl for a while now and had seen her share of arguments between the archer and other adults in the community, but to say she had ever seen him seriously mad would be a lie. “I’m so sorry. What did he say?”

Back at the house Rick had sent the onlookers away as he and Carol went inside, following after their angry friend.

“Daryl.” Rick’s tone was stern, his aura oozing authority but quickly dropping the act as he saw his brother’s bloodshot eyes and trembling hands. Carol read each and every one of his tells like she was the one who labeled them all in the first place and knew he was close to losing the last bit of his humanity he was currently desperately clinging onto. “Please tell us what happened?”

She knew her action could end up badly but decided to step towards her best friend, offering a hand to ground him like you normally would when his emotions got the best of him. The growl that left the hunter as he breathed out filled the room with an eery energy. Back at the quarry when Daryl still lost his temper more often there were woods around where he could run and hide into, but now he was inside of a house, inside of a community with high walls that even he couldn’t climb easily. He had to keep a hold over himself now.

“..Pup.” He had a difficulty finding his words, eyes unable to focus on anything and looking frantically around the room. “She.. She tol’ me jus’ now.” Hands went from pockets to sleeve ends back to being chewed on or swiping at loose strands of hair that were suddenly the most distracting things in life, wanting to tear them out right that second. “Sent ‘er off to Denise.”

"Why send her to the infirmary, Daryl?" It was Rick's turn to question him again. He was unsure of his reasonings, why would he send you away after such news?

Daryl’s annoyed but confused grunt had the other two confused along with him. Were they supposed to know his reasonings? He never spoke about the subject of having a family with you, they only knew about his shitty father and dead mother.

“Get outta my house.” Daryl’s voice was calm and the message was clear. After giving each other a look they agreed it was best to follow the man’s request and leave him be for now. Halfway out of the door though, they both stopped and turned to face their friend once more. “You’ll do great, don’t doubt that please.” Carol’s look was one of sadness while Rick added to her reassuring words with a smile and a nod.

Neither did anything to calm the hurt inside of Daryl, instead only getting on his nerves more than they already had by showing up.

“I said get the FUCK OUT.” With a long stride forward he backed them out onto the porch with a roar and slammed the door shut, locking it and retreating downstairs.

While Daryl turned to sleep to keep his anger at bay, Rick went home and Carol took a detour to find you and Denise still sitting on the floor of the infirmary.

Your eyes were puffy and red as you looked at her from down below and followed her movements to where she sat down with you two.

With a heavy heart you repeated the events from before Carol spoke with Daryl and after some more reassuring she agreed to walk you home again.

Once inside you thanked the universe for Daryl not being in the main area and you could go to bed without any more trouble.

Sadly drama didn’t stay at bay for long. The next you were sitting at the dinner table with your breakfast when Daryl came upstairs from his basement room, looking like absolute hell. His hair was an even bigger mess than it normally was in the morning, and you swore the bags under his eyes were a few shades darker than usual.

You wanted to ask him how he was feeling, but the stare and low growl that left him was enough of an answer by itself.

Sighing at yourself you decided to give him more time and went to follow your daily routines as usual and let him make the initial contact when he was up for it.

You ate dinner alone that evening. The other half of your bed stayed empty that night. And another scowl after the first few sniffs of the day were again the only interaction you had.

Today’s issue was worse. You both had nothing to do and were going to be in each others’ way somehow.

You were spending the day around the house doing chores, taking a quick shower and making dinner prep early so you had some time to relax. You were having a small meal to take your new vitamins with when Daryl came upstairs and tried his best to avoid you. His only problem was his weapons that laid beside you on the table.

Involuntarily he sniffed the air, like a reflex his animal side never is human form and all he could do was try to shake off the conflicting feelings it brought. He wanted to bury his nose in your hair and keep inhaling your delicious scent, but with every intake of breath it felt like someone shot a bolt through his chest, the screaming in his head only getting louder each time.

“I’ll leave if you want me to.” Your tone was dry and unamused. “S’not it..” It was the most he had said to you since your last fight, but it was clear he was holding back a lot of his thoughts. You knew Daryl had a horrible upbringing and were aware of his fear of being a bad parental figure, but he had proven the opposite many times over already. Still you got up to put your plate away, “You know you’re the only one who thinks you’d be a shitty dad, right?”

Your words seemed to only anger him further as he growled way louder now, making you turn to him and see him standing in the middle of the room, visibly shaking. “Why aint ya listnin’ ta me?” He wasn’t looking you in the eyes, nervously moved his weight from one foot to the other.

Why weren’t you listening? He had barely heard the news and freaked out so bad he never gave you a chance to talk before barking you out the door. Literally.

“Listen to you?” Now it was your turn to get angry. “You haven’t even given me a chance to talk!” Your sudden snap had him step back, eyes wide in panic. “Not even a chance to discus! An immediate no and angry barking was all I got. You wouldn’t even let me tell you how bad I want this, for how goddamn long I’ve wanted this!”

Your blood boiled now, were you finally seeing that bad side Daryl always talked about? “I’m keeping it. Just stay away if you can’t agree.” With your arms crossed over your chest you sniffled, all the fighting was really getting to you.

“Just FUCKIN’ listen!” Daryl’s words more of a roar than a yell, coming from deep down along with the change in his eyes that only happened when his beast tried to come out.

“I ain’t gonna let tha’ thing kill ya! Not like it killed her!” The second the words left his lips he dropped to his knees, his body jerking with each ugly sob that racked his entire being as the memories he tried to forget resurfaced with a force that knocked the wind out of him.

“F— fuck..”

With each intake of breath your scent filled his nostrils and brought back the trauma he so desperately tried to keep at bay. He shared more with his loved ones these days, but not this. Never this.

——

“Dee, hey.” Her voice was quiet, but a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, making him quicken his steps up her driveway where he had just parked his bike. Within seconds he her, his face stuffed in her frizzy curls. “God, ya smell delicious today. Wanna live ‘ere With ma face in yer neck.” The low grumble in his chest was something she could never get enough of, but she needed to pry him off in order to continue with his surprise. “Come inside, baby. Got something for ya. Promise you’ll love it.”

Once inside he found a small box with his name on it. “Go on, look!” Daryl sat himself down on the blanketed couch, much nicer than the ratty one full of holes and broken springs he had at home. He ever so carefully reached and lifted the lid off the box, his eyes lifting to stare at his girlfriend. “Yer kiddin’ me, aintya?” His briht blue eyes shone with excitement at the sight of the small white plastic showing off two little pink lines that indicated the next step towards their future.

“Mom was so excited, she insisted in coming along because she said she knew already anyways.” She laughed at her lover as he had gotten up to round the small table and envelop her in the most loving hug. “Yer mom’s amazin’ fer bein’ fine with us. With this.” He barely believed it every time he came up to her home. He found someone who looked past his racist family members and actively helped him lessen those habits integrated into his person from a young age. Even her family accepted the young ‘white trash’ boy her daughter had brought home those years ago. Hell, he was more than happy to keep his family out of this whole ordeal and never see them again after this news.

“Shit, we gotta get all kinds’a baby stuff now. Ain’t sure where ta start..” There was another thing prodding at the back of his mind. “Hey, what’s yer parents gon’ say when they see the kid and it aint, ya know..” He made a hand gesture to figure out how to say what he wanted, but failing entirely. “What if it aint human?”

The soft giggle that left her lips was like heaven on earth and calmed his nerves in a second. “Dee, they know about you and accepted that part of you too, even if they’ve never seen it before.”

That day’s news was followed by a few days of Daryl packing up his belongings and officially moving in with his partner, leaving his family behind for safety reasons. If they ever found out he was having a child with someone who wasn’t as much white trash as they were, shotguns would be loaded and a hunt would be started.

To their family’s luck the other Dixons stayed away and the weeks passed quietly and turned into months. The spare room cleared out and turned into a nursery for the little one. Even without the usual doctor’s appointments due to Daryl’s fear of seeing something they shouldn’t on the ultrasound she was healthy and the kid had a steady heartbeat.

Only two more weeks before they’d meet their child.

With time passing quick they got a lot of visits from her parents. While mom stayed with the mother to be and helped with cooking and laundry, keeping the house clean and making sure the soon to be mother was doing alright, the men w worked on the last finishing touches in the nursery and baby-proofing the home.

After working the whole day everyone had gathered in the kitchen, where father sat at the dinner table and mother cooked while the two lovers stood leaning agains the counter. Daryl’s back rested against the cupboards with her back against his front, his hands below her belly to relieve some weight. “Kid’s active. Been like tha’ all day?” Even now Daryl still had his nose in the crook of her neck, taking in her delicious scent.

With all the plates and food on the moved out of Daryl’s grasp, slowly waddling towards her spot as Daryl grabbed their drinks off the counter. His back was turned to her what she groaned in pain. He turned just in time to see her drop to her knees and let out a cry. In a second her scent turned foul as she screamed.

Blood.

Her pastel sweats stained red down to her knees, choked sobs leaving her as her arms clutched around her swollen belly that violently spasmed.

No. It wasn’t her muscles spasming. The pup woke early and needed a way out. He picked up the energy of a panicked wolf amidst the chaos of his own fear, her pain and her parents’ shouting.

Frantic breaths and quickened heartbeats then turned to silence, and with a loud thud she fell.

His vision went black and the voices now screamed at him. “I knew we shouldn’t have let her go through with this! I warned you it wasn’t safe!” The man’s voice rung right above him where Daryl knelt over his love, ear pressed against her chest, her belly but hearing nothing. Only the loud, soul crushing sobs of her mother. “Y.. You.. Killed.. Her..” she spoke between sobs. He didn’t know what to do, his body ached all over and his mind howled to drown out the curses thrown at him.

“You’re nothing but a monster! A.. A murderer!” That was the last thing he heard before he lost himself and ran. His feral side took over and forced him to turn, run back to the woods he knew like home.

Its where he spent weeks, hiding from humanity. Its where he swore to never have another child again.

——

“Please.. Get rid of it, m’beggin’ ya..” His gaze was still focused on the floor, a wet stain from his tears right under his shaking form.

His words struck you where it hurt. You felt his pain, but you couldn’t be sure what happened back then would happen now. You quickly fond solutions to things that happened back then, ruling them out and seeing no reason to give up this child out of fear. “I’m sorry..” You wanted so badly to please him, but after a lifetime of never having anything you wanted you weren’t going to accept no. “I’m going to keep it, I see your fears but I want this.” Yeah, it was selfish, but you had to not care about that for once. “I’ll leave for Hilltop tomorrow. Maggie’s there and they have a doctor, so we’ll be safe.”

And so you did. Daryl gave no response to your decision but was gone when you came back downstairs. He stayed gone over the time you spent packing and getting a vehicle ready and you assumed he’d gone out into the woods again. Rosita drove out with you, trying to keep a conversation going but you were too distracted scanning the woods for a sign of your lover, but you never caught him and soon arrived at Hilltop.

It wasn't fun having to again repeat why you were there and Daryl wasn't, but Maggie made sure you were comfortable and getting your needed checkups over time.

Against the better judgement of the others you always sat in on radios to Alexandria that brought updates from and to you.

"Thanks for willing to show up this time. She's doing great." Jesus was the one updating today, giving your shoulder a soft squeeze as he smiled at you sitting beside him. The line stayed quiet for a second before Daryl's voice came through. "Course she's still fine now. Pup aint big enough ta harm 'er yet."

With that the line went quiet again and you were left with no updates on their side for now.

Having no other option than accepting it for now you went back to your daily routine of helping around the community by doing light tasks. You wondered how Daryl would respond if he knew you were out and about instead of resting in bed the whole time had things gone better. He'd blow a fuse for sure.

In Alexandria Daryl was finally home long enough to be cornered by Rick and Carol. He wanted nothing more than to run, but his endless hunting and changing forms constantly had him exhausted, so his only choice now was to hear his friends out.

“Would you please share why you fought so bad about this?” Carol asked after a moment as the three were seated around the coffee table in the living room, with Daryl in his armchair and the others on the couch. “It can’t be that you think you’d be a bad father. The way you handle Judith shows you know what you’re doing.”

“Aint the problem. ‘S sumthin’ else.” Daryl was back to shaking, feeling his worthless kid self creep to the surface of his being, resting right underneath his skin.

“Will you tell us, brother?”

Brother, right. Another brother he kept all of this from. Maybe if he told him he'd be on his side, unlike you.. So that's what he did.

"Used ta have a girl 'fore all'a this." There was an immediate interest in the story, and Daryl went on to share the traumatic memory that had been haunting his nightmares for over a month now.

"Shit scared me so bad I hid in the woods fer weeks.."

Carol wanted nothing more than to get up and hug her friend, and Rick could only share what went on in his mind after what happened to Lori.

The three of them shared their most personal experiences of losing loved ones in their lifetime, but in the end neither Rick or Carol could convince Daryl to go see you.

The news was radio'ed to Hilltop, where you accepted it, as you did each time the bringer of news came to you with a sad look in their eyes.

While the child inside you grew you felt surprisingly fine. The women who had children before shared their tales of tiredness, nausea and mood swings with you, and eventually about bringing their children into the world as well. While some stories sounded more like horrors to you, they all still laughed and enjoyed recollecting the memories and assuring you there was nothing to worry about with the doc around.

The closer you got to your due date, which Daryl was so kind to share seeing you didn’t know about this part of being with a werewolf, Daryl’s anxiety got even worse. Unable to go out hunting and be away from the radio, but also wanting to tear the thing to shreds so it wouldn’t sit there haunting him. He kept hearing the static of a connection forming before the voice would come through, but each time it was just his imagination. He was waiting for the bad news to come in any hour now. Waiting for the ‘sorry, Daryl. We couldn’t do anything.’ from the other end of the radio. Sleeping was out of the question too, being plagued by nightmares nearly every time he closed his eyes.

Daryl never kept up with a calendar, but he clung to the one in his home now like his life depended on it. Your due date was tomorrow and those dreaded words hadn’t been shared yet.

Any of his hourly “Ya heard anythin’?”s came with a negative answer. It meant you were at least alive, still. For now.

His anxious asking kept up for three days until he finally ran out of strength and passed out, getting much needed sleep for once.

His sleep didn’t last long. Rick was at his side, shaking him awake and backing up as he got snapped at. “The hell ya want, Rick?”

“Get your ass to the radio. Hilltop called, she’s in labour.” While the news shocked him and he felt the urge to go talk to you, he couldn’t get himself out of bed and have to relive the horrors of something going wrong. He’d never forgive himself for not trying harder to convince you.

Despite knowing he could easily get his neck snapped he kept pushing Daryl to go but never succeeded, eventually giving up to keep the peace.

It was hours later he was being disturbed again. Carol came by this time with a walkie in her hands.

“Alright, I’m here. Have her talk.” Daryl turned to Carol’s voice, not stopping his work on the other side of the room.

“Dee? Can you hear me? We’re fine, both of us are fine.” The clatter of metal on the concrete floor spooked Carol, but not as much as the speed of Daryl moving towards her and snatching the walkie from her hands. “Yer fine? How?” There was just static at the other end of the line for a bit and Carol could swear she saw tears threatening to spill. “We got a walkie against the radio, it takes a second.” His attention was back to the walkie immediately.

“I had the pup. I’m healthy and so is she.”

Oh. The guilt of leaving her to do all of this on her own overpowered the anxiety of waiting for the horrible news entirely, unsure what to do first he tossed the walkie to Carol and threw on his vest over his ratty sweater and headed out the door. “Tell ‘er I’m headin’ over!”

Calling back a confirmation was unnecessary with the loud rumble of his motorcycle, so she made her way back to where the radio was set up. No need to share the details, seeing the others were outside already to see him ride out the gate.

“Hey, he’s on his way.” Jesus’ head peeked into the room where you were settled to rest in private. Maggie was finding you something to eat and going to see a seamstress to adjust your pup’s clothes. You knew it would be a while before Daryl would arrive, needing to come all the way from Alexandria. You had plenty of time to rest and eat before he'd get there.

Daryl rode like a madman to get to you as fast as possible and found the gate to Hilltop already opened, awaiting his arrival.

Sadly he found Gregory as first person to welcome him and tried his schtick of having people not just barge into his community all the time, but getting shoved aside with an angry snarl s Daryl passed him and followed his nose to where you rested.

Daryl found the room you were in, having sniffed you out with ease but found himself anxious again as his hand found the doorknob. He had been the worst partner to you those months ago. How was he supposed to look you in the eye knowing he let you leave to supposedly die?

“Hey, oww. Careful, you.” He caught your voice and it was like his body moved on its own, no doubt his other half’s need to see the child winning over his anxiety.

“Hey, Dee.” The smile you had on your face was no less than the one you held when you first handed him that test that started so much drama. But what truly kept all of his attention right now was the little bundle of fur laying curled up on your chest.

“She fell asleep after feeding. Come see.” Your hand moved slow to not disturb the sleeping pup, and reached for Daryl to come closer from where he still stood at the door.

He was so overwhelmed he needed a moment to gather himself and move forward to where you laid in bed. “M’sorry.” It was the only thing that made it past his lips before you saw tears rolling down his cheeks. He dropped to his knees at the edge of the bed and rested his head in one arm as the other went to take your hand in his. He didn’t say anything else, but you knew he just needed time to process. You let him get his mind to calm down and rubbed your thumb over his knuckles for a while before your pup woke and unrolled herself clumsily. She slipped off your body and plopped right against Daryl’s head, immediately sniffing around in his hair and let out soft whines that had Daryl move to look at her up close.

His own eyes stared back at him, surrounded in a shade that resembled your hair color most. A soft pink nose pressed against his as the barrage of sniffs continued.

“Thanks, fer not hurtin’ yer mom.” His voice was soft and his hands found her small body, lifting her as he stood up to sit on the bed with you now that you had a chance to move again.

“Should’ve stayed with ya.” A simple sentence you agreed with, but still you forgave him for everything that happened. You also had your time to think and understood why he did what he did.

Truthfully none of it mattered anymore. You had your little family here now and everyone was healthy.

“You’re all okay, Dear. You had your reasons and it’s over now. You’re here.” You were rested against his shoulder as he held his daughter in his lap, staring with true love in his eyes.

“She looks like a Lily.” Daryl spoke after a long stretch of comfortable silence. “Soft ‘n delicate.”

You cuddled further into him, reaching out to take your daughter’s paw.

“Then Lily it’ll be.”

You were going to be okay, the three of you.

A/N: Oh man this one took so long I had to reread constantly to see where I left off!

#sometimes I write #daryl dixon #twd daryl #twd daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd #the walking dead #twd x reader #twd au #werewolves #werewolf

[urdepressedslut]

You’re Mine, Sunshine ❝part nine❞

♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: After the events from the other day, you try and cope with the reality of what happened. The world is a lot less colorful than you remember. Bucky helps comfort you after you realize you have no one left.

♡ Warnings: heavy angst, flashbacks, abuse, mentions of parent death, hints to depression, reader doesn't know she has depression, anxiety attacks

Series Masterlist

Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine | Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au

Italics are flashbacks

“I don’t know… I kinda like shirts that don’t hug me too tight.” You mumbled, scratching the back of your neck.

You heard a dramatic gasp, and you looked into her eyes as she shook her head, holding up the top she had been trying to convince you to buy.

“Babygirl— why can’t you see how gorgeous you are. Anything you wear, you’d make look like a million bucks.” You Mother almost whined, and you couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips from her antics.

“Ma you know that’s not true.” You argued, failing at keeping a serious expression.

“No baby— I know I’m right. That’s my secret.” She argues back confidently.

She walked closer and started combing stray hairs out of your eyes, smiling at you adoringly as she did so. Her eyes practically sparkled with love.

“What’s your secret Ma?” You asked quietly, leaning into your Mother’s delicate touch.

She cupped your chin and raised your face to her lips, the feeling of her pecking your forehead sweetly. The gesture made you all warm inside— her love filling you with so much protection.

“Mommies never lie. So you really are beautiful baby— and soon you’ll start to see that, and you’ll be breaking hearts left and right.” She spoke quietly to you.

“I won’t be breaking any hearts… because that means I’ll have to date people and well… that’s scary.” You admitted.

Your Mother lifted your chin back up, giving you another loving kiss on your forehead, stroking your cheek as if you were fragile and needed to be protected. In her eyes— you were her everything. Her little girl— she only wished you could live your life without any pain. She knew life wasn’t that perfect— but she’d do anything for her baby. She’s try as hard as she could to make her life perfect. She deserved it.

“It is scary baby, but if you never put yourself out there— you may never have the chance to meet people.” She cooed. “We learn a lot from everyone we meet, and if you don’t meet anyone— you won’t learn anything. It helps us grow into being a better person.”

You nodded in understanding, feeling comforted by her words. She believed that you could do it, so you started to believe you could. Your Mother truly did know best— she’d never put you in a bad situation. As much as you hated to admit it, she was almost always right.

“You’re so smart Ma. I’m glad I've got a Mama as good as you around.” You whispered as you hugged her tightly— forgetting that you were at the mall.

Her laugh vibrated through her chest as your head lay against her heart.

“You know your compliments always go straight to my head.” She joked and you snorted and playfully hit her hip.

“I’ll take it back.” You playfully warned.

“Please don’t— we were having such a nice moment.” She whined dramatically and you both went into a laughing fit.

The air was so cool— so breathable. Your limbs felt relaxed, your mind was at ease. Everything was so much easier with your Mother around, she truly was the light of your life.

"Okay, I'll get it." You finally gave in, pointing to the shirt that was hanging off her arm.

Your Mother eyes brightened and she smiled like the chesire cat, almost starting to jump up and down like a little kid. You forgot who was the older one sometimes. You just watched with a giggle.

"That's my girl." She ruffled your hair and headed towards the cashier.

You watched her walk away, happy that you could make her happy. Although the top wasn't what you'd usually wear— maybe your Mother was right. It was time to get out of your comfort zone— plus she was never wrong.

~

You cracked your eyes open at the sound of rain hitting your window, the peaceful ambience of a storm passing over the house. You let out a deep breath, a heavy feeling left sitting on your chest— the bittersweet memory still fresh in your mind. It was sweet because even the memory of your Mother could fill your body with the joy that you had been missing from life. Although it was bitter because they were only memories. Instead of staying in the moment with her, you were forced to be sent back into reality. Back to a world where she wasn't around anymore. That was the most painful realization you had to live through every day.

The days since her passing had been the same, but it was slightly different this time around. You were almost positive that because of the relationship between you and your Father was getting worse— had you desperately wishing to have your Mother back.

You wondered if it would've been easier to never know parental love, then live most of your life with it— then to not have it.

You hadn’t realized you had slept through the night, misjudging how exhausted your kind and body was. There was just a slight glow from outside, otherwise the sky was cloudy— the weather gloomy. The outside was currently how you felt, it seemed.

Glancing around the room, there was no sign of him. Which was the second thing that had come to your mind this morning. Bucky.

Pushing that thought to the side, you swung your legs over the edge of your bed— heading towards the bathroom. Your head felt heavy, your limbs feeling like there were wights tied to them. You overall felt like the walk to the bathroom was much harder than it should’ve been. You had hoped that a nights rest would ease the haze that covered your brain. But as you walked to the bathroom— you could still sense the thick fog within your head.

Switching on the light, you headed straight for the mirror without giving it much thought. You’d be lying if you said your reflection didn’t startle you. In fact the harder you looked— you doubted that was actually you.

Your eyes were puffy, red rimmed as they were the night before. Your lips were chapped, achey with how dry they were. All in all— it was the still irritated skin on your cheek that had you in shock. The palm sized mark had you staring without blinking— your breathing starting to come in rapidly. Almost instantly, the events from the night before began to play through your mind.

"You wonder why I don't want you around— do you not see how you act? Disrespectful fucking brat! I do all these nice things for you— I buy you a fucking house! I provide you with everything you need!"

The memory of his hand shooting towards your face had you flinching back in the space of your bathroom. The action startling you from just remembering.

You furrowed your brows, staring at your reflection in confusion. Puzzled at your body's reaction— the way you had jumped. Even though you were alone in the bathroom— you felt embarrassed. Your hand shot down to grip your thigh, squeezing the flesh until you could start to feel pain. Your nose burned again, your chest tight and uncomfortable— unable to expand fully. You gasped, almost breaking from this trance as you released your thigh— glancing down frantically at the now red and irritated skin. Your head felt fuzzy as you couldn't understand why you were acting like this. You felt like you were out of control of your body— your mind. You wiped your face harshly, drying your skin of any tears— any evidence that you had been a mess.

Without wasting another second, you headed from the bathroom and made your way downstairs— in search of Bucky.

Bucky had made himself comfortable in the grand office downstairs. The room seemingly untouched, obvious that you didn’t care for this room. That much didn’t surprise him. But what did shock him— was the stash of liquor that was kept inside the study.

Surely that wasn’t yours. He thought to himself.

He had sat by your bedside, guarding the room as you slept for awhile. After you started to mumble in your sleep— that’s when he decided to leave. He knew you’d want him to be there when you woke, but the words about your Mother escaping your lips seemed private. It felt wrong to over hear such information while you were unconscious.

He also just needed to excuse himself, needing to drown his thoughts with alcohol for awhile. His career let alone his life— was in jeopardy.

He didn’t want to fear Pierce— but he couldn’t stop the overwhelming waves of anxiety from crashing into him. Amongst everything else, you stuck out in his thoughts. Majority of his worries circled around you, the concerns about you being left alone— with Pierce. If it wasn’t his life he was worried about, it was you. He was only afraid of the outcome because if there was no him— he wouldn’t be able to protect you.

It continued to eat away at him— he knew he should do something. He let the thought pass by… I should run.

He raised the glass, downing the rest of the contents— enjoying the burn on his throat as he scoffed at the cowardly thought.

He’d would run for you… with you.

He stared at the empty glass as he attempted to digest the idea. Knowing deep down he wouldn’t be able to make a proper decision without talking with you.

“James?” You called out, grabbing his attention to the doorway.

You didn’t even attempt to send him one of your usual warm smiles, instead glancing around the room you completely forgot existed. For good reason.

“What are you doing in here?” You asked, but soon found your answer when you let your eyes drop to the bottles of liquor surrounding his empty glass. “It’s early.”

You pointed out, and Bucky lowered his gaze for a moment in shame before lifting his eyes to your face again. This was when he noticed how different you looked.

It was the little, subtle changes that no one else could distinguish. But he could— he could see it clear as day, and it broke his heart.

Your eyes were dull, missing the usual sparkle in them. Your face just seemed like it was longer, the way you didn’t even try to keep a smile on your face. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you so… not you. Lastly, what killed him the most— was the way you were standing. The way you were trying to seem so small, like you could be small enough to hide away from everyone.

“James?” You called again, breaking him from his analysis of you. It was then he realized he hadn’t responded.

“Uh… yeah guess I’m just a little stressed out.” He finally told you, not completely lying.

“You shouldn’t do that— it can cause a lot of issues.” You motioned towards the alcohol.

“I know.” He mumbled, lowering his gaze to the desk again.

“You should just talk to me, instead of drinking until you pass out.” You told him softly.

“I can hold my liquor well.” He tried to argue, glancing up and sending you a smirk.

You just shook your head, crossing your arms like you were a mom scolding her kid.

“I don’t care. You should still talk to me.” You told him sternly.

He couldn’t ignore the shock in your change in demeanor. Of course you’d be in a different mood from the events last night— but he wasn’t used to this solemn version of you yet.

“Okay.” He agreed finally, standing up to head towards another room— preferably one that didn’t hold as much negativity as this one.

You surprised him by reaching out to take his hand, holding it tightly in yours. You didn’t give him a second to show his shock— instead you held on, tugging him towards the direction of the library.

He hadn’t even talked with you yet, but somehow he already felt lighter— in a better mood. Just by your presence, let alone your touch— was enough.

Making your way through the library— hand in hand— you didn’t slow until you reached your spot. The same spot from the very first introduction you two shared. One that didn’t have that good of an ending.

The memory although had a sour end, you still looked back and wanted to smile. You two had no idea what was coming— so naive. Like you said— it almost made you want to smile. Almost.

“James, why are you drinking this early in the morning? I know you’ve got something on your mind.” You started, as soon as you two sat down in your spots.

He rolled his eyes, avoiding your stare. He knew you were right, but also he just didn’t want to have this talk. Though— he knew it needed to happen. He just wished he could have one more care free day. He hated himself for not enjoying them while they lasted.

“Doll, we know what’s going to happen.” He voiced lowly, body and mind defeated.

You flashed a fearful expression before attempting to harden your features back.

“What do you mean?” You asked him cautiously.

“I spoke wrongly to your Father— everything that happened yesterday… you know how this ends for me.” He hinted, hoping you’d understand.

You shook your head, while still glancing at him with a softened expression. You don’t think you’d ever seen Bucky so stressed, his face stuck in a concerned expression.

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“(Y/n)… your Father doesn’t give a shit about me! For all I know— he probably has a new bodyguard ready for you. I’ll be as good as gone soon!” He exclaimed, voice raising— but it was Bucky. You weren’t afraid of him like you were your Father.

“Nothing is going to happen to you— I’ll make sure of it.” You promised him, and for a second he paused and looked at you deeply.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back in his seat with a frustrated huff.

“I don’t really care what happens to me… I just don’t wanna leave you. I can’t… I can’t let him keep doing this to you.” He whispered, lowering his head— his emotions stealing his voice.

You felt your heart start to beat faster, the same butterflies fluttering around your stomach once more. Every time he protected you, made an effort to want to be with you— it had you speechless. You never knew you could find something like this again. After your Mother had passed— you thought the feeling was lost.

“We should run.” He spoke again, breaking the thick silence that had blanketed the room.

You swallowed at that suggestion, wondering why a small part of you still didn’t want to leave your Father. Although he had proved to really not care about you— love you. You still loved him. He was all you had left.

But maybe that wasn’t true anymore, here was Bucky sitting in front of you— willing to risk his life just so you could live your happy ending.

“Where will we go?” You spoke back finally, shocking him that you wanted to go along with it.

As he stared into your eyes, his stomach rolled sickeningly at the fear that was evident in your eyes. But it wasn’t fear for yourself— it was for him.

“Somewhere far away— somewhere he won’t find you. I have a few places in mind… but are you really willing to do this? Leave your home?” He asked, happy that you were on board— but still wanted to respect your decision.

You immediately thought of that one cheesy quote you’d read somewhere— not necessarily believing it until now. Home can be a person too.

You felt your nose burn, tears welling into your eyes and this time you didn’t fight it. Everything had been building ever since you’d woken up. The only place you felt safe wasn’t even your home anymore— it was him.

“This place doesn’t really feel like home anymore so… yeah I’m ready.” You admitted, your voice getting quiet by the end.

Bucky’s hand twitched on his thigh, the way his instinct was to touch you— to comfort you. He fought against the side of him that itched to jump over to you, instead he stayed rooted at his spot.

“There’s something else I need to tell you.” He started, not knowing if you were mentally ready to handle this. “Your Father has been keeping this from you for awhile, and he had asked me to keep it from you as well but— you deserve to know. I wanted to tell you so many times I just— I should’ve told you… so I’m sorry.”

You got up from your seat and plopped down next to him, not hesitating to reach out and take his metal hand in your two. Your held it comfortably while also using the metal ridges to fidget with.

“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about what you should’ve done— you’re telling me now. That’s all that matters, so I appreciate that.” You assured him, scooting even closer so that your thighs were touching.

“Someone’s been stalking you (Y/n).” He finally confessed, and almost immediately he could feel the weight being lifted off his chest.

You didn’t speak for awhile, just staring at him like you weren’t sure if you imagined him saying those words. Your brain was having a hard time processing what he had said— someone was stalking you? You were disturbed, your skin crawling with fear. One thing stuck out to you the most— it was the fact that your Father had yet to tell you.

Bucky took your silence as a bad sign, watching you stare blankly at your lap, where your fidgeting hands stilled on his metal one. It was his turn to wrap his metal hand around your wrist, applying a gentle amount of pressure to try and get your attention.

“(Y/n)?” He asked softly, growing more worried the longer you stayed quiet.

You still didn’t know what you were feeling, it was hard to distinguish it when you were already overwhelmed with emotions today. Your brain felt burnt out— your mind wanting to shut off completely.

“How long?” You whispered, still staring at your lap.

“Awhile, and they’ve gotten close. They have left stuff on your doorstep— and I found it before you could see it.” He told you, watching you shiver from the information. “They found your Mother’s necklace in one of the boxes that was dropped off at your door.”

That had gotten your attention, your head snapping up to his— your eyes wide with horror. You immediately started shaking your head in denial, knowing where this was going. You felt like you were gonna be sick, so you tried to swallow back the bile from rising.

“No… No I— I know what you’re going to say! My Mother died from a car accident. That’s how she died.” You rushed out, your vision blurring with tears.

“(Y/n) I’m not saying whoever is stalking you was involved with her passing— I’m just saying that there’s something darker to this than anyone knows.” He assured you, watching you nod in understanding.

His heart hurt watching your body start to tremble, your bottom lip quivering.

“Do you have it?” You whispered ever so quietly.

“What?” Bucky asked suddenly, confused.

You faced him, grabbing onto both his hands now— needing him to ground you from spiraling. Bucky had to hold in the gasp that wanted to escape, from how close you appeared to be.

“Do you have the necklace?” You asked desperately, voice cracking, “My Father he… he wouldn’t let me keep any of my Mothers things.”

Bucky’s heart broke again, his eyes softening at your broken expression. The way you were trembling holding onto him, your eyes red rimmed and lost looking. He had never held such hatred for someone before— fucking Pierce.

“Doll, I’m sorry— he has it.”

You nodded in understanding but couldn’t hold back the new wave of tears. You didn’t hesitate, and threw yourself into his arms. Wrapping your arms right around his middle, feeling the bulky muscles flex through his clothes.

He didn’t waste anytime and engulfed you in his protective embrace. He willed himself to stay strong— for you. But your cries and shakes of your body were killing him, he swore he was feeling physical pain from it all. He wanted to take it all away— all your pain.

Both your legs hung off to the side, while you practically were sitting in his lap. But neither of you cared— yes, it was intimate. But it was intimate in a different way, you both clung onto each other— escaping for a little while just in each others embrace. Being so close now, feeling each other pressed up on another— it felt right. It felt like home.

You felt one of his hands lift to the back of your head, cradling your head as his metal fingers weaves through your hair— just slightly scratching your scalp. You could feel yourself melt further into him. Your body sagging into him.

“I’ve got you (Y/n), I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered soothingly.

“I wanna hate him.” You whimpered, your fists fisting in his shirt.

His heart clenched painfully, hating that there was nothing he could do besides be here for you at the moment. But every cry and whimper only convinced him further that he was doing the right thing— the right thing by running away with you.

“Does that make me a bad person— that I wanna hate him? I want to but… but I can’t!” You cried.

Bucky shook his head, before he realized you couldn’t see him. He pulled you back away from him so he could face you— that was also when he noticed how close you were to him.

“No it doesn’t. He hasn’t been a Father to you. He hurt you— It’s okay to wanna hate him.” He assured you.

He held your gaze, waiting until you nodded to make sure you understood what you were feeling was valid.

“I really wanna hate him…” You whimpered again, trying to lower your eyes but you knew Bucky wouldn’t allow it.

He didn’t know if there was anything he could say to truly make you feel better, but he hoped that his comforting embrace was helping. Little did you know— your tight hold on him was ridding him of any and all stress.

“I know (Y/n), I know.” He breathed out.

Before he could stop himself, he was lifting his hand to stroke his thumb across her cheek— letting his palm rest on your jaw.

Your eyes fluttered shut from his touch for a second, before they opened and gazed deeply into his. His eyes shined with something unusual— something you had yet to see coming from his eyes. You felt intimidated from the intensity that was his gaze— the way your stomach fluttered nervously. You felt the same urge as before, your body leaning instinctively closer to him— you felt so safe in his arms, you couldn't help yourself from wanting to sink deeper into the ocean that was him.

"(Y/n)..." His voice broke through your trance, "Maybe we shouldn't."

God he wanted to slap himself for even voicing those words, because he so badly wanted to devour you whole— loosen every thread that was tied on you— unlocking every inch and part of you that he didn't know he craved. But the sensible side of him knew it wasn't the right moment... right?

You were so vulnerable, it felt wrong for him to even steal a glance in the wrong way when your walls were crumbled before him. He didn't want you to think for even a second that he was taking advantage of you. He respected you greatly, and he was not going to allow himself to have no self restraint. He wanted you to be in full control— and even then he felt hesitant to let you continue. The kiss on his cheek from before, he felt he hadn't deserved that— earned that. He was greedy however— and took any breadcrumbs he could.

You only darted your eyes down to his lips, watching his tongue poke out to wet them— your eyes watching the pink dampen the plump flesh. You found yourself biting your own lip— a sudden craving intensifying at the sight.

Despite your desires, you leaned forward and placed another kiss to his stubbled cheek— this time letting your lips linger on the skin longer than the last. Bucky could feel the heat rush to his face, knowing his cheeks were most likely bright red. He didn't know how he held so much power, but the feel of your lips against his cheek— god he wanted to kiss you so badly.

You sent him a small smile, and he could almost see the real you finally coming to light. The sight had his heart swelling, his own lips curving up in a cheerful smile— relived to see his girl coming back.

"Thank you James— I don't know what I'd do without you." You whispered, holding his gaze with hidden devotion. "I need you."

He had to fight back the huge smile he felt approaching from your words— he tried to ignore the bubbling joy he felt from your words. The way you needed him just as he needed you.

🤍taglist for this series is officially closed 🤍

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[venuscrashed]

Both Miles X Male!Spiderman!Reader

Fem Readers DNI 18 plus DNI

Um…let me know if you want a pt 2. This kinda sucks though so….yeah. It was rushed and I hate writing in my iPad.

PT 2

-

Miles was trapped in the spider society, all the other Spider-Man’s were arguing with what to do with him. They all knew they couldn’t convince Miguel, him being stuck in his ways, but there way one person that wouldn’t put up with him.

“Let him go.” The whole society stared at you.

“What did you say?” Miguel spat while walking towards you.

“Let him go.” You stared up at him blankly. Despite making a dumb move you were intelligent, and sly. Miguel was staring you down, killing you between blinks, due to his anger he didn’t notice you grabbing a portal. You’re intelligent, we mentioned this, but the type of intelligence where you can travel universes with a click of a button.

“He won’t be let go. He’s staying here and so are you.”

You were laughing at this point, he still hadn’t noticed but some others did. Miles, Hobie, and Peter B knew what was going on. “Really?” You asked. Before Miguel could say anything Miles blasted out of the cage and jumped towards you. The whole room was in panic. “We’re not staying. Have a nice life,” you then opened the portal and jumped in with Miles.

The portal closed before the others could join. In it, a show of colors jumped around you two, hypnotizing you two. You two didn’t even see you were being sent to the wrong universe. The DNA of the person sends you to their universe, Miles is coded for another one. His spiders one.

The portal opened and you two were pushed out onto a building. You landed on your feet while Miles rolled onto the floor. You bursted out laughing. “It’s not funny. I’m not use to it like you are,” he groaned. Despite his attempts you were still laughing, practically rolling on the floor. He sighed and got up, leaving you behind while he went to his apartment.

You didn’t care that he left, by the time you stopped laughing he was out of sight. It’s not like you could go to his house, you’re dead in this universe. You’ll just go visit after in a bit. In the mean while you were fixing your portal, setting it up to go to your universe. You flipped it over and opened the screen. In bright blue the portal told you where you were, Earth 42. “No.” You screamed, “No, no. No. No. No!”

Without hesitation you started to go to Miles apartment. Him being with his family could mess this universe up. If anything happened he could not go back home and ruin his as well. The wind raced past you as you flew through the air. Within minutes you were at his apartment. On top of his building you started to make way towards the door, but bright colors were blinding you in the corner of yours eyes. Turning around you saw a mural of his dad. “This isn’t good.”

Putting the prices together you realized something, Ike’s wouldn’t be near if his dads dead, he was Aaron. “This idiot.” You groaned and swung to his uncles place. Only being there once before you soon found it. It was more or less the same as Miles universe, just darker.

Through the window a faint light was lit. The apartment looked nicer, this Aaron had more taste. Scouting the room, you saw your Miles on the punching bag. Before you got the chance to save him his uncle walked in. This one had a different aura, and if he was anything like the last one he’s the prowler. This Aaron walked around, Miles was trying to talk it out, inaudible words leaving his mouth. You could tell he was nervous, scared even. Aaron stood by a table, Miles still talking. Aaron had the prowler glove on and before acknowledging Mile she punched the punching bag on the side he wasn’t on. It took you so much strength to not jump into the room to save him.

Miles was even more scared now, but he soon became overwhelmed with his spidey senses. He looked to the top of the roof and a purple glow filled the room. Two eyes stared at him, they jumped down and stalked towards Miles. Aaron tossed the glove to him and backed up, the electric mask came off and soon Miles was staring at his own face. More words were said, Miles losing his cool demeanor earlier from the spider society. He had fear in his eyes, it all clicked with what happened in this universe. He tried saying something but his spidey senses went off, it was you.

He now had confidence knowing you were going to save him. You jumped off the roof and go to a high point on the other building. You still saw the silhouettes of the three in the window, their body language loud and clear. Miles was relaxed asking something, the other Miles tensed ready to punch him. “You so own me Miles.” You launched a web, swung, and crashed through then window.

42 Miles jumped back his mask back on. You slowly stood up, the moon light announcing you to the room. You stared him straight in the eyes as he froze. Without looking away you sent Aaron back with your webs before he could say anything. Your Miles had broke out of the chains and walked up to you, looking back at his alternate self.

“Because mine’s still here,” he continued their conversation from earlier. You didn’t have to look but you can tell he had a smug look in his face, this is going to be one long night.

#x male reader #x male y/n #spider verse x male reader #miles morales x male reader #miles morales prowler #miles morales x reader #42 miles morales x male reader #miles morales 42 x male reader #earth 42 miles #miles morales 42 #miles x male reader #spider verse x reader #male reader #venuscrashed

[anghraine]

thatinsufferableb-st-rd said:

@anghraine so i have read the books multiple times and am an avid fan of the movies. I enjoy both for what they are. I think the main difference is that Peter Jackson was very open about what they chose to cut and why from anything I've ever seen. They even have Sam give a nod to the book readers by saying "by rights we shouldn't even be here". No I'm not happy about what they did with Faramir and Glorfindel got jipped, and I would have lover to have seen Elronds sons but at the end of the day there were acknowledgments of what and why. Rings of Power to me has always come off as hiding from any criticism by using the shield of "well if you don't like it it's because you don't like POCs in it". To which I genuinely could not give a fuck less, like there are so many branches of elves that went different ways so that could make sense within what Tolkein established. But don't hide behind that when your writing is just "Sauron is evil. We know. And we know she knows. But we have to make it seem like she's the only one who Has A Clue so we must all try to shoo her off to make a plotline"

@lesbiansforboromir has already correctly and politely pointed out that you are doing the very thing we were criticizing in that post—intruding on ROP fan discussion to unfavorably contrast the show to the Peter Jackson films, while also applying a degree of scrutiny to ROP that the Jackson films are rarely subject to in a remotely comparable way and could not bear. Frankly, @lesbiansforboromir is nicer and more restrained than I am about this, but you chose to tag me as well, so I'll also respond.

We (lesbiansforboromir and I) were talking about being excited about costuming in S2 of ROP and disliking the fandom meltdowns over ROP's costuming looking (somewhat) different from the films' aesthetic. Since it had already come up in their discussion, I added that I'm not convinced by the anti-ROP contingent framing their seething hatred of the costuming and design as just caring so much about fidelity to Tolkien's vision. I pointed out that Tolkien fandom broadly cares far more about their preferred, film-influenced aesthetics than Tolkien's actual descriptions and gave some specific examples of this.

There's been a lot of talk, for instance, about how the universally long, flowing hair for Elves preferred by the fandom and used in the films is actually totally canon according to Tolkien even if it's rarely mentioned in LOTR proper. This is inaccurate. Galadriel's brother Aegnor is typically depicted in the fandom/film-preferred style rather than per Tolkien's description of his hair as "strong and stiff, rising upon his head like flames" (indeed, in general neither Aegnor nor anyone else is ever depicted this way, and this description rarely shows up in the lists of "no it's about ethics in adaptation" Tolkien hair quotes).

Tolkien repeatedly describes Elvish, peredhel, and Dúnadan women as wearing their hair bound up in braided coiffures with jeweled hair pieces/nets rather than loose and flowing à la the films and the fandom. Nobody cares, any more than they care about Tolkien's description of Arwen's clothing as soft, grey, and noticeably devoid of ornamentation apart from a belt and netted cap (i.e. the opposite of her highly elaborate film costuming and typically loose, unbound, uncovered hair in the films and most illustrations).

Meanwhile, my fave Faramir's hair is nowhere near long enough in the films or most art to mingle with Éowyn's as Tolkien describes. It's usually also depicted as blond, reddish, or brown rather than black as in the book; in Tolkien's LOTR, all described Gondorians have dark or black hair, with the only difference in coloring being that some Gondorians are dark-skinned and some are pale. Again, almost nobody in the fandom cares about this when they're going on about costume design and casting to reflect Tolkien's vision, and male Gondorians are overwhelmingly depicted with short or shoulder-length hair in the films and in Tolkien illustrations.

Popular depictions of Gondor, including the Gondor of the films, very rarely reflect Tolkien's description of Gondor's aesthetic as similar to ancient Egypt, the Byzantine Empire, and the Roman Empire. Film Gondor has, at most, extremely vague allusions to Byzantine architecture amidst the general and deliberate westernization of Gondor's design—as just one example among many, Tolkien's explicitly Egyptian-based design for the royal crown of Gondor is converted to a generically western European-style crown in the films and overwhelmingly in the fandom.

I then pointed out that it's been very noticeable that ROP haters tend to have a powerful double standard wrt fidelity when it comes to the Jackson films. For over 20 years, most film fans have been constitutionally incapable of tolerating even slight criticism of the films without jumping in to defend their greatness and condescendingly explain the most basic elements of adaptation. (Yes, we know film is not the same medium as text, we know changes are part of adaptation to another medium, we all know that, we all know that a word-for-word adaptation would suck and never be made, this is not new information and does not make the PJ films' every choice a good one.) Yet most film LOTR fans who vocally despise ROP display none of the charity towards ROP that they demand for the films (demand even from someone like Christopher Tolkien, a dead man the entire fandom is deeply indebted to, whose dislike of the films still leads to regular attacks on his character from Jackson film stans).

This hypercritical yet hyperdefensive tendency in the fandom is neatly illustrated by the fact that you responded to a conversation about the double standards in evaluations of ROP's costuming vs the films' to go on about how ROP is objectively bad for reasons entirely unrelated to costuming, how you're totally not racist (something nobody was talking about), and to quote you directly, "Like the show was just Bad." Truly, an incisive critique. Meanwhile, your concessions with regard to the Jackson films are mainly about extremely minor and defensible omissions like removing Glorfindel and the sons of Elrond rather than the serious and fundamental problems that lesbiansforboromir and I have with them, or even the ways they do pretty much the exact same things you're lambasting ROP for.

I mean, if we're going to talk about action hero Elves in ROP vs the Jackson films, what about the action hero-ification of Legolas in the films? He was described by Tolkien himself as the Fellowship member who accomplished the least, so super badass battle-skateboarding Legolas hardly represents fidelity to Tolkien's vision. Why should that get a pass while film-stanning ROP haters seethe about ROP!Galadriel being too special, even though Tolkien described her as one of the most special Elves to ever live and specifically as remarkably athletic and insightful?

Meanwhile, film Gimli is reduced to comic relief, the only dwarves taken seriously are conventionally hot ones in The Hobbit films, and Frodo's expressions of strength and fortitude are consistently removed to glorify other characters. Film Gondorians were deliberately designed to seem like useless tin soldiers (which they are in the films, as well as whiter and blonder than Tolkien wrote them) rather than the physically imposing and highly effective fighting force of the book. ROP imagining Elvish rituals upon approaching Valinor that aren't based in Tolkien canon but don't directly conflict with it is absolutely trivial compared to the films' handling of Denethor and Faramir.

The point is not that you, personally, are not allowed to like the films or dislike ROP despite all this. Many people do love the films, including most of my followers. They do have their strengths, though they are extremely racist and few film fans will acknowledge this without soft-pedaling it in some way (esp, since you brought it up, given the context of the truly unhinged degree of racism that has accompanied much of the broader discourse around ROP).

The point is that film fans who hate ROP are constantly showing up in our conversations to be "well actually ROP is just objectively bad, unlike the films, because the show has failings that are also in the films but it's totally different there because of the contents of Peter Jackson's soul" or whatever. The point is the absolutely glaring and obnoxiously hypocritical double standard of defensiveness about the films and obsessive nitpicking of ROP that leads to ROP haters continually going on rants to ROP fans that are unwelcome, uninvited, and usually (as in this case) irrelevant to what was even being discussed.

#legendarium fanwank #respuestas #anghraine rants #legendarium blogging #pj critical #tv: lotr #ondonórë blogging #long post #jrr tolkien #aegnor #arwen undómiel #peoples of middle earth #letters of jrr tolkien #faramir #legolas #galadriel

[hana-bobo-finch]

Assorted pikmin headcanons that I might end up deleting bc I definitely haven’t already posted enough today

• Most Hocotatians can’t grow facial hair. Those who can are greatly envied (even if it’s just a few scraggly hairs like the president)

• Hocotate is mostly desert. Because of this, hocotatians generally don’t need as much water as others.

• Yonny is. Extremely in love with dingo. But he still tries to be a good wingman when dingo’s trying to talk to shepherd cause even if he’s insane he’s a good friend

• Louie tries to zone out when olimar’s telling him “stories” (which are more just olimar’s train of thought) but ends up subconsciously retaining it all. He remembers more about olimar than olimar himself.

• Collin actually has social anxiety despite being the comms guy, ironically the only way he’s found that he can calm himself is to never stop talking. So he yaps. A lot.

• Yonny’s tried to tell dingo before that his disliking of dogs probably stems from some form of ptsd from the time he thought he was being attacked during a rescue. Dingo just bragged about it because he thought having trauma made him sound more “badass.” It did not. He was very confused when he got sympathy and not admiration.

• Olimar gets frustrated with Louie very easily, but keeps it hidden because Louie gets chastised by the other employees and the president a lot and olimar wants to be the one to help him instead of just yelling at him.

• Hocotate freight, despite being tasked with large shipping jobs, is a rather small company with barely any employees. There’s pretty much no experience needed other than a basic pilot’s license to get a job there because the president is so desperate for workers

• Louie doesn’t even have a pilot license. He only managed to get hired because his nana convinced the president to hire him because of his family’s lineage of renowned pilots.

• His nana didn’t even ask Louie before getting him hired. He was looking to get a fry cook job at a restaurant nearby to save up for culinary school. He just went with it because he didn’t want to disappoint her

• Collin is aroace. He doesn’t know it, he just thinks he’s “too busy” for sex and romance (am I just saying that bc I’m projecting onto him nooooo I would neeever do that)

• Koppaites generally age physically slower than most. Giyans? What’s it called uhh. People from giya tend to physically age faster. They both have roughly the same life expectancy, though

• it’s a common practice on most civilized planets for the people to dye their hair, as they all share the trait of usually greying quickly. Only hocotatians don’t do this, as they over time have developed hair that retains its color longer—although they have less of it

• Louie hates space travel. He gets motion sickness easily. Olimar, on the other hand, loves it, and likes to do tricks with his ship when flying like spinning around. Somehow that’s never been the cause of a crash, the worst that’s happened was just louie feeling sick

• dingo has low iron levels. I have nothing more to add it is just definitely true

• whenever Louie’s on pnf-404 by himself, he survives the creatures by just ignoring them. Turns out a lot of them aren’t inherently violent or have a taste for hocotatian. The ones that do attack can be defeated easily by giving them poisonous plants

• Many of the planets are more of dwarf planets, if even that. Only hocotate, koppai, Giya, and pnf 404 are larger. Most of them are tiny and in the same solar system, making them almost more akin to different countries or continents than entirely different planets

that is all for my yapping goodbye

#I AM SCARED OF DOING NORMAL FANDOM THINGS LIKE HCS I AM UNCOMFY #I don’t wanna tag all this but here goes #pikmin #pikmin headcanons #olimar pikmin #louie pikmin #dingo pikmin #yonny pikmin #Collin pikmin #aight that should be good enough

[snaileer]

The Messenger is Already Dead - 3

Danny tried to resist, he really did, he swears. It’s just… making eye contact with The Batman was kinda nerve racking in a ‘I’ll do whatever you want’ kind of way.

“If I get stuck haunting a stupid cave for the rest of eternity I’m gonna be pissed. Just putting that out there,” Danny said from the backseat of the Batmobile. It was a last ditch effort to convince Batman and Robin that he didn’t need to come back to their cave.

Robin-Damian Damian Damian, his core whispered- lurched a bit in his seat as Batman slammed the brakes at the entrance to the cave and looked at him in the rear view mirror.

“That can happen?” His gruff voice asked.

Phantom laughed nervously, they were really taking this seriously, “Technically a ghost can get stuck haunting anything, anyone or anywhere that has an emotional connection. Don’t worry though, I already have my own haunt.” And I’m not technically all the way dead, he didn’t add. Sure, he was just bit more dead than he usually let on to his friends… but less dead than Batman thought he was. Not that he was gonna correct him though. Secret identity and all that. Plus he’s, y’know, Batman.

Batman gave him an odd look, but turned back and the Batmobile starting moving again, making its way to its designated spot in the cave.

When Batman got out and opened the back door, he was surprised to see it empty.

Danny vanished through the roof of the car. If he was getting kidnapped by his estranged vigilante family, he was doing it on his terms.

“I can’t believe you actually live in a cave!”

Danny floated upwards, taking in the scope of the cave as he rose in the air.

Why was there a giant T-Rex?

“I can’t believe I’m in Batman’s cave. Like wow.”

Danny looked this way and that, trying to take in the entire cave at once.

His eyes snagged on the cases of suits lined up on a platform.

“You have so many…” He said as he drifted down towards them.

How many iterations were there? When did he blue? Or red? Or-

Danny stopped, standing next the case of an old Robin uniform propped up on its mannequin, the one past it, another Batman suit.

Danny paused and looked at the empty mannequin in the case in front of him, adjusting the height he floated at so his own suit’s reflection lined up correctly.

Would he have been a superhero too? If he’d stayed in the league? Would he have fought at his father’s side?

Danny looked at the Robin suit again.

At his brother’s side?

No.

Danny shook his head.

Grandfather never would have let them both survive. Never would have let them both leave. He was never meant to be at his brothers side, not meant to be his friend, only his competition, his obstacle. And Damian, his.

What were they meant to be now?

A shuffle of clothing alerted him and Danny looked to see Damian approaching him from a flight of stairs, eyes unsure on his otherwise blankly scowling face.

“Father wishes to run some tests.”

Danny blinked, setting his feet on the floor to walk next to Damian as they went back down to the main level.

Danny stops in his tracks as he steps off the last of the stairs.

Batman has his cowl off.

Batman is not wearing a mask.

Come to think of it.

Neither is Damian. But he already knew Damian, even if he’d never remembered the name until a few weeks ago, he’d known the face in the mirror. Even if a mirror image was too pale, the eye color too blue, he knew his brother.

He did not know the man behind Batman’s mask.

Then, before Danny has even the opportunity to cover his eyes, Batman turns around.

Danny blips out of sight on instinct, but it doesn’t help, he’s not the one he’s doesn’t want to see.

His father- Batman, no mask!- looks puzzled. And god, he is so much easier to read without the cowl, even if puzzled just means a raised eyebrow and a tilt of his head by like 3 degrees.

“Danyal?”

Danny forces himself back into visibility, “You took your mask off.”

“Tt. Of course he did. He is our father.”

“But now I know Batman’s identity! Well, not really cuz I don’t know his name, but I mean I kind of recognize his face, nobody knows Batman’s identity, he’s Batman!”

“Ha! He’s barely a man!” A voice laughs out behind them.

He and Damian turn in synchronization to see who it is.

“Oh god that was creepy. It’s like the Demon Brat multiplied.” A girl with blond hair says as she comes down a flight of shadows stairs herself.

Danny looks at Damian and sees his scowl, “Tt. Brown. Of course you are here.”

“Puh-lease, obviously I was gonna show up to see the newest of B’s kids. The rest of the fam will be here soon, would have already been if B hadn’t been stubborn enough to order them to finish patrol.”

“If the League is active again, we should not leave Gotham undefended,” Batman says sternly.

“Yeah whatever, hey Demon Twin, he run the DNA test yet?”

Danny scowls, clenching his jaw at the name, “That is not my name, Brown. You may either call me Danyal or Phantom but do not try to stick me with an insult.” Screw her, she didn’t get to call him Danny, not when she’d insulted both him and Damian, when he didn’t even know her.

The girl raises both eyebrows and blinks dumbly, “Holy hell, don’t even need a DNA test for that, it’s like a glitchy funhouse mirror.”

“Stephanie.” Batman says sternly. And shiz, Danny looks back at him, yep, he still has his mask off.

Then Batman makes eye contact with Danny, “Danyal, I need a sample from you to run a DNA test. We need to be certain this isn’t a trick from one of my enemies.”

From Talia. He hears behind his words.

Danny steps forward closer to the massive console of the computer in front of them.

“You can try, I’m not even sure I have blood like this,” Danny says with a shrug.

Batman’s hand twitches as he grabs a needle and syringe, “We’ll see.”

As turns out, when Danny is thinking about it, yes, he does have blood, so hopefully also DNA, even if it’s bright green with the occasional speck of red.

Danny doesn’t watch as Batman inputs it into the computer, turning back to his brother, but he stops next to him.

He doesn’t really know what to say.

Evidently, neither does Damian, if the awkward tension between them isn’t just him imagining it.

Luckily they’re interrupted from attempting a non-fighting conversation by the roar of not one, not two, but three motorcycles roaring into the cave.

The sheer volume makes Danny jump backwards into a fighting stance.

“Relax, Danyal, it is simply Richard and Todd, no doubt.” He hears an echoed shout in the cave and sneers, “It seems you’ll have the displeasure of meeting Drake as well. How unfortunate.”

When the bikes come to a halt, one of the drivers immediately back-flips to dismount, landing with his arms up facing Danny.

“Oh quit it, ya big show-off, some fancy acrobatics aren’t gonna fool a league kid into liking you,” one of the other biker says, this one wearing a red helmet. Something clogs his throat when Danny looks at him, a chill running up his spine.

By the way the man tenses, he wonders if it was mutual.

“Come on, Jay, there’s no reason to not put our best foot forward when meeting Dami’s family, I wanna make a good first impression!” The man in blue who back flipped whines.

The last one, in all red with two yellow straps on his chest, just stares at Danny. He sighs and heaves a leg over his bike, approaching them cautiously as the other two continue to argue.

“Here’s hoping this one doesn’t try to kill me.”

Danny feels his face scrunch in confusion, “Why would I try to kill you? I just met you.”

The man chuckles, “See, you’d think that, huh? But I’m 0 for 2 on my last two brothers so,” the guy shrugs and sticks his hand out, “Red Robin, or if you are who you say you are..Tim.”

Danny rises in the air a bit to make up the height difference to shake his hand, “Danny Phantom-Al Ghul, a pleasure to meet ya Tim,” Danny smiles, “But if you want to keep your record, I mean, I can always give it a go.”

He hears several gasps and a quiet what-the-fuck echo out around him.

Danny sees the new people making a weird face and he looks back towards Damian to make sure he didn’t do, say, anything wrong.

He was met with a look of utter revulsion on his brother’s face, Damian going so far as to physically recoil from where Danny had shook Tim’s hand.

He had to assume that Damian was an isolated case, because the rest of the family’s faces were covered in shock, not disgust.

The computer dinged behind Batman. The DNA test was done.

And although his blood was highly corrupted, it matched nearly perfectly with Damian’s,

“Congrats B, it’s a boy.”

And the other match was-

“Talia fell in love with Bruce Wayne!?”

#batman #batfam #batman and robin #dc #danny phantom #young justice #danny phantom crossover #danny fenton #bruce wayne #dp x dc #dp #dp x batman #Damian wayne #Damian Al ghul #Talia al ghul #league of assassins #Tim drake #Jason Todd #dick grayson #Stephanie brown #Danyal Al ghul

[rockcollector3000]

Girldad!Ghost’s day at the office

A fic for @blingblong55 <3

I really hope I did your request justice

Word count - 824

Warnings - none

No one on base would have expected to see the Simon “Ghost” Riley pull up on his motorcycle in a pink helmet with little cat ears. They also wouldn’t have expected him to show up with his two daughters, much less on his day off.

Nonetheless, he was— the big bad Ghost in a pink helmet, with his two little girls.

Price stood at the door, a confused look painting his face.

“It's your day off, Ghost.” Price said, looking at the two girls. “And who might these little ladies be?”

Simon took his helmet off, then helped the girls with theirs.

“Marie,” he said, pointing to the smaller girls. “And Aurora.” he pointed to the taller girl. “My daughters, my pride and joy.”

Price smiled at the two girls who were now waving up at him.

“And you brought them why?” he asked, the smile not leaving his face.

“My spouse is out of town, and the sitter got sick.” Simon sighed. “So I get to bring my little loves with me today.”

Marie wrapped her hand around two of Simon’s fingers, obviously nervous about her unfamiliar surroundings. Aurora, on the other hand, was looking around excitedly, a big smile painted on her face.

The girls looked just like Simon. Blonde hair, deep brown eyes, pale. They were spitting images of their dad.

Marie’s face lit up when she saw Soap come out of the building, waving enthusiastically at the two girls.

“Lt! And little LTs!” He said happily. “Mornin’ girls.” Soap smiled down at them.

Marie was first to run up to him, immediately being brought into Soap’s arms in a bear hug.

Aurora followed suit, wrapping herself around his legs. “Uncle Johnny!” She squealed happily.

“What’re you two doin’ here?” He said with a small laugh. “Thought yer dad had the day off.”

“Daddy had to bring us because our babysitter got sick,” Aurora explained, looking up at Soap.

“An’ mama is out of town,” Marie explained, running her fingers through Soap’s hair absent-mindedly.

“Aye, got it,” Soap responded, looking at Simon. “Si, ye gonna be here all day?”

Simon shook his head. “Just a couple of minutes, I'm doin’ some paperwork and leavin’,” he explained, looking at Soap holding his girls.

“Speakin’ of which, you mind playing with them, just till I finish the work,” Simon asked, taking a deep breath.

Soap nodded, still smiling. “Sure. Gotta be in your office, though.”

Simon shrugged, not much minding having them in his office. “Just keep it down.”

In total, they were all in Simon’s office for about an hour. He sat at his desk, silently doing his paperwork, only breaking his silence when one of the girls asked him something.

Soap had a grand time playing with the girls. They had brought a few tutus and a play makeup set, which Soap loved.

Eventually, when Simon finished his work, he played with the girls and Soap, putting on one of the tutus and letting Marie do his makeup.

After another hour, he called time on their game.

“Alright, kiddos,” Simon said with a big stretch as he stood up. “Time to get goin’.”

“Nuhuh! We aren’t done playing with Uncle Johnny!” Marie protested from her spot on Soap’s lap.

Aurora was quick to back her up. “Yeah! Can’t we have a couple more minutes, Daddy?”

With Aurora’s pleading and Marie’s protesting, Simon was already convinced.

“Okay, okay.” he sighed. “Ten more minutes. But after that ten, we go home. I still have to give you two a bath and make dinner.”

The girls quickly went back to playing with Soap, giggling and telling him all about the “right way” to play their games.

Before Simon could get the tutu and makeup off, Price and Gaz checked up on them. Upon seeing their lieutenant dressed like a princess, they both had to stifle their laughter.

“Lookin’ good, Ghost.” Gaz chuckled. “Pink is a nice color on you.”

“I see you're done with your paperwork, Ghost.” Price said, grinning.

“Just lettin’ the girls get some energy out before we go home, sir,” Simon replied with a faint smile.

“They've got about four minutes.” His comment was more directed toward the girls and Soap this time.

The girls whined lightly as they began to clean up, Soap offering help as he worked to get his tutu and makeup off.

“Alright, be safe on the road home, Ghost.” Price said, patting Ghost on the shoulder.

“Girls, keep your dad in line, alright?” he said to Marie and Aurora.

They gave a small salute to the captain before going back to cleaning.

Once everything was all clean, Soap helped Simon bring the girls back to his motorcycle.

They strapped the girls into the sidecar, put on their little helmets, and said goodbye to Soap, Gaz, and Price.

Simon wore his helmet and started the bike, waving to his co-workers before speeding off with his little ones.

#call of duty #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley #ghost #simon riley #ghost cod #dad!ghost

[torasplanet]

okay so i was requestic a hedonistic drug dealer ran you are obsessed with

you dyed your hair to be his type, you let him inject drugs into your veins because you like him, you dress into clothes he likes and he still is indifferent/uses you

first time i requested it it sounded better i swear

❝𝙉𝙀𝙀𝘿.ᐟ❞

BONTEN!R. HAITANI + F. READER

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ; you do anything and everything for ran including his deals but when one goes wrong, you need him more than anything !!

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 ; smut, angst-ish??idk very toxic, toxic!ran, he's kind of a dealer idk, drugs obvi, murder, car sex, praise, degradation, unrequited love-ish, reader is actually crazy, chubby!reader implied, protected sex (surprisingly), daddy kink, sa(not by ran), reader wears skimpy clothing, skin color not mentioned

You don’t know exactly how you got involved with Ran or bonten in general. As the day passed, the origin of everything seemed to blur more in your mind but you could remember one detail from the night you met and another from the second time which surprisingly had a big part to play in your relationship with Ran Haitani. The one thing that remained in your mind was how the older haitani brother looked sitting on that velvet couch under the dim blue and purple lights. You thought he looked so handsome and couldn’t keep your eyes off him but maybe it wasn’t such a good idea when you were there with your boyfriend who was supposed to talk to the leader of Bonten.

When your boyfriend began to talk to ‘Mikey’, you and him were squeezed between two of his executives probably for safety or whatever but you were so flustered. Ran was the one on your side and you couldn’t look anywhere but your heels because you were already a bit frightened by the presence of Bonten members. The fact that you could see Ran staring at you with a mischievous smile out the side of your eye did not make you restless at all, it made you want to squeeze your legs tightly and rub them together. Good thing you had your hands in your lap so no one could tell that you did for a short moment.

You will never forget the look he gave you when you finally got the courage to look up at him. Hearts practically formed in your eyes when you made eye contact with him and Ran Haitani never left your thoughts even despite what he whispered to you. “You’re cute and all but I’m more into blondes.” His voice was laced in honey and dripping with sugar as his lips grazed against the shell of your ear.

It was ironic. Ran was into blondes but that’s exactly what your boyfriend hated. No matter what hairstyle you got, as long as it wasn’t blonde. But now that you knew you existed in the same world as Ran, it didn’t matter because every hairstyle from then on was colored blonde and you even dyed your hair blonde and you didn’t care if it ruined your hair (good thing it didn’t.).

When your boyfriend told you he had to have another meeting with them at their headquarters, you were ecstatic! Not that you let him know it…regardless, you went with him after a bunch of begging because you managed to convince him that going alone wouldn’t be the best idea considering where he was going. Your boyfriend wasn’t a really important gang leader either, he barely had members and was still ‘up-coming’ as he said so no one was there to protect him like the bonten executives were protecting Mikey.

In the end, there wasn’t a point in you coming because they separated you both but you couldn’t care less about that because once again, they had ran looking after you. Of course, others were around like his brother and Koko but they were on the sidelines observing the interaction between you and Ran. “This a nice color on you.” The man said taking a strand of your hair and running it between his ring-clad fingers, your eyes were trained on his fingers and how he twisted the hair around his finger.

Sitting there in your tight dress, you felt a bit flustered and awkward “Thank you…” You said shuffling in your seat on a crate. “You got it for me?” Ran asked looking at you in your eyes making you even more nervous. You didn’t know how to respond and just looked at him nervously while occasionally glancing away “I don’t know, just thought it was cute.” You said trying your best not to sound nervous but he could tell. You weren’t fooling anyone with that little pathetic act of yours.

Ran stood from his squatting position in front of you and stared down at you. He enjoyed how you looked at him, so lost like you were helpless and he was the only person who could actually help you. Not that he really wanted to but…you were cute. He glanced at Koko and Rindou who gestured him over before looking back at you “When you find out let me know. Depending on your answer, I might keep you around…unlike your boyfriend.” The multi-colored-haired man said with a small smile on his face that showed kindness but he meant much more than that. That’s if kindness was meant at all.

You were about to ask him what he meant until a loud gunshot was heard from one of the rooms over. It sounded suspiciously close to the room the pink-haired one had taken your boyfriend in and it made your breath pause and your eyes widen in shock. “Sorry about him by the way.” Ran finally said before walking away from you to join his brother and co-worker. The three of them observed you and how you didn’t move at all after Ran left, you just stared down probably wondering what the hell was going on.

“You sure she’s gonna stay silent?” Koko asked throwing his hair over his shoulder and Ran nodded as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants “Yeah, don’t even worry about her.” Ran said shrugging his shoulders carelessly while he took one last glance at you. His grin widened at the sight of you already staring at him.

After that, Ran kept you around. From the start, Ran knew you were fascinated with him but he didn’t really know how obsessed you were though, it didn’t take him long to figure it out.

You were at his feet for practically everything. Sometimes he didn’t even have to ask you to do things and you’d just do it anyway. You noticed he took a liking to certain dresses, outfits, and makeup and you always did those but it truly depended on how he felt because sometimes he’d prefer you in a long dress rather than a short one but you still made it your mission to satisfy him. Even if he could care less about your satisfaction.

Ran never seemed to care about you, only merely entertained by how you acted for him oh and fucking you. He really liked that along with your pretty face. Not so much of everything else…but it didn’t matter to you because he kept you around meaning he cared at least that much and you could get him to love you more. Maybe if you kept doing everything he asked, he’d love you back, that was your mindset and it persuaded you for everything that you did like doing drugs for Ran.

Bonten was involved in a bunch of things, drugs included and it was no secret to those who were involved in Bonten in the slightest that Ran and that pink-haired guy, Sanzu were the ones mainly in charge of that. So sometimes you’d walk in on Ran either dealing with them or doing them and you’d join him just sitting there quietly while he worked but there were a lot of times he’d grab you by your jaw and open your mouth.

He’d ask you if you could take this for him and you always did and sometimes Sanzu was there, sometimes he wasn’t but his presence did not disrupt your decision. The first time it happened, your words truly made Ran understand your intentions to be with him and that you never wanted to leave. “Yeah…don’t even ask, I’ll do whatever you want.” You said while your body was practically shaking from fear as Ran held your arm with a needle full of something he didn’t tell you. His tie was wrapped tightly around a higher point in your arm and he was grinning at you sickly. To this day, you don’t regret saying that. You’d say it again and again and again because it was the truth even if you didn’t like doing those things. In a way, you needed him so you would do whatever ran wanted you to do even if all he did was mistreat you.

Ran would make a fool out of you daily just for merely existing. When you two were alone, he’d trip you, ask you questions that he knew you didn’t know the answer to just to watch you sit there look stupid and this one, he’d do just out of curiosity. Sometimes he’d spill something on your shirt or you in general just to see what you’d do and each time, you’d apologize for ‘being in his way’. When you two were around others, it was even worse especially if it was Bonten members you were around. Ran would flip up your skirts, grab you through your clothes, bend you over, and even call you over for some stupid sex thing he, his brother, and Sanzu were talking about so he could ‘demonstrate’. Well, that’s if you had any time with all the things you were doing for other members of Bonten when Ran said he didn’t care what they made you do.

It didn’t matter what he did though because you still had heart eyes for him. It doesn’t matter how embarrassed you got by the things he did because you enjoyed it at least a bit and he didn’t stop because he knew that. 

“Ugh, you’re so mean to her.” Koko said as he stared down at you who scrambled to pick up the many papers (that were his) that had fallen from your hands when Ran tripped you. Not to mention, you also had a scrape on your knee from the fall “Why?” Koko asked once more looking up at the laughing men with a bored look. He hardly cared for you but he wondered why you were treated so badly and endured it.

I mean they were laughing at you but you still sat there picking up the papers, you even apologized when you realized Ran had tripped you. “She likes it, it’s fine.” Ran said swinging his hand as if he was physically brushing something away. Koko narrowed his eyes at that before looking back at you and sighing “Guess you can’t stop a dog from following its owner.” He started putting his hand on his hip and turning around “Just don’t trip her when she has a drink in her hand, if it spills on me I’ll kill you.” Koko said while he began to walk away, you already knew where to go once you finished picking up those papers so he wasn’t worried in the slightest.

That wasn’t the end of the list of things Ran would do to you either. There was more that you’d let him do and a lot of the rest involved drugs.

You’d let Ran inject you with things, give you things, and sometimes you would just do it on your own after asking him just to make him ‘proud’. And it did make him ‘amused’ per se because he’s dealt with a lot of girls that were desperate for him but never anyone so determined as you, it was a bit funny. Each time, tears brimmed in your pretty little eye when the needle dug into your flesh and into the vein but you’d hold them back so Ran wouldn’t laugh but he would anyway. It was just so hilarious how far you went to get him to love you! I mean, you even started to do his drug deals for him!

You’d walk into those deep alleyways in your cute little heels and cute hairstyle that he paid for to give some addict their weekly supply just for him as he waited in a car across the street. Fuck he loved that shit, it got him going and gave him a crazy amount of pleasure especially because he didn’t even have to ask you, you offered yourself to do it. Ran mentioned one day that Bonten’s been getting a lot more customers coming to him since that one night he had you by his side during all his deal and you offered to start doing it for him since it made him so much money.

It worked too. More girls were buying because it was a girl that was ‘selling’ and it seemed more trustworthy and guys just came because they were perverts for your short skirts and tight pants; sometimes they’d get a bit touchy but Ran never let it go too far. He’d step in when you looked back at the space his car was parked in for help, I mean, he can’t let his prettiest dog get hurt can he? Ran hoped he wouldn’t have to get out of the car this time. As much as you were good to use, you were such a pain sometimes.

The sound of your heels clicking against the wet ground of the alley filled your ears as you inched closer to the man in the deeper part of the dark area while holding your purse in both your hands “Uh, hi?” You said awkwardly flashing a sheepish smile his way. You hadn’t even been here for five minutes and you were already growing uncomfortable with how he was looking you up and down. You observed his stature and how he looked not only empty-handed but sleazy…Ran wouldn’t like that very much. “Don’t worry, I have the money.” He said in a gruff voice which made you relax just a tad bit and your smile became more kind than nervous.

“Okay good, I have it too.” You said looking down ready to get the sandwich baggie but before you could, you heard a laugh come from the other person. It sounded familiar and you didn’t like that at all, it sounded like Ran when he was up to no good like when he was checking you out but it was okay when it was Ran and this was not Ran. “Is it in that tiny purse?” The man said rubbing the stubble on his chin and you looked away awkwardly and then shook your head negatively.

He met your eyes again “Oh, I know where it is then.” Your body ran even colder than this alley made you at his words. You carefully took a step back but when you heard a splash, you looked down and grimaced at the sight of your heel in a small puddle of god knows what. Ran would be incredibly mad if you ruined these heels, they were so expensive. “Don’t run, I’m just playing a little guessing game…” He grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. He treated it like an accident when his hand grasped your chest but soon his look of fake shock turned to one of evil while you tried to pry his hands away.

Your head turned back to look at the expensive car that was parked across the street. You looked away when you saw that Ran began to reach for his gun, you didn’t see it but you already knew he groaned loudly in annoyance at having to get up. You felt bad for annoying him so much…

Only one more moment of struggle lasted until a gunshot was heard and the tight hold on your chest was no more “Jeez, I can’t trust you with anything, can I?” You heard Ran’s voice approaching as you stared at the now-dead man. No words left your mouth as Ran came into your line of gaze to kneel and take the money from the man’s pocket, it was not shock or anything, you just weren’t going to say anything. Anything you said would probably piss him off and you were still shaken up from everything that had just happened.

His lengthy arm draped over your shoulder as he led you out of the alley “Give it to me.” He said not even looking at you. You stumbled a bit as you took off your heel, took the sandwich baggie from the bottom, and handed it to your ‘boyfriend’ or whatever he said he was to you before popping the heel back on. “Hey, stop being so down. It’s a mood killer honestly.” Ran said shrugging his shoulders but when you didn’t apologize or say anything, he realized how upset you really were about it.

The tall man grabbed your jaw and made you turn to face him “Seriously, it’s a ugly look.” Ran said harshly as you tried to pull your face away from his hand. Tears formed in your eyes and it seemed to make him even more annoyed because he threw your face away from his palm with a scoff. “I’m sorry, really. I-I just didn’t think–” “No, it’s my fault really.” Ran interrupted you with an exhausted huff making you look at him wide-eyed.

“I know you can’t do anything right unless you have something in that little cunny,” Ran said with a slightly mocking tone but you didn’t say anything and only wrapped your arms around one of his arms. “Right?” He asked looking at you and you were quick to nod at his question eager to make him happy. “Yeah? Well, we better fix that so you don’t mess up any other drops.” You nodded as you nudged your head against his arm. You were just desperate for him to be happy, you didn’t want him to be upset because when he was upset, he pushed you away. You needed ran so you’d do anything to prevent that.

“Stay like that,” Ran told you pressing his hand on your head and forcing your face into the backseat as he thrusted harshly into your cunt until he couldn’t anymore. Your makeup smeared all over your face and the bouncy seats “B-But wanna see you…” You whined as your nails dug into the comfy seating, you were afraid that the long acrylics were going to break. You got them just for ran as always, he liked them long because he loved to see those red scratches on his back with little beads of blood forming in the middle but if so…why wasn’t he fucking you in a way that’d let you do that?

Ran only hummed in response as if he was thinking “If you can turn around yourself, sure.” Ran told you as he hissed at the feeling of your cushy cunt squeezing around him. You whined at his words not feeling the strength in your body to flip yourself over “If you’re just gonna whine then keep your face in there. You’re lucky I actually need you sober after this.” The Haitani man said rolling his eyes at your noises of complaint. 

“Sorry.” The words barely registered in your head as they slipped past your lips. You were too focused on trying to lift yourself with your noodle-like arms, your face burned with embarrassment as Ran laughed from behind you at your pathetic attempt. When you managed to flip yourself on your back, you saw he was grinning down at you but you couldn’t smile with how your lips were popped open in a ‘O’ from how snug he fit in your walls.

Your hands found their designated place on his shoulders “See? Once you get stuffed, doing things I ask ain’t so hard is it?” Ran said to you while relentlessly ramming inside of you making the car shake. Your body heated up with embarrassment when you realized that you were close to cumming.

“Hm?” Ran hummed as you wrapped your legs around his waist, the softness of your feet rubbed against his lower back as you were disinclined to let him go. You always did that when you were close to tipping off the edge, acting like he was yours and that he had to stay here with you until you let him go. So needy for his presence.

Acrylics dug into his flesh leaving red scratch marks along his shoulder blades “Wow, you’re already cumming? I haven’t even gotten close yet!” Ran teased whilst pressing down on your stomach making your back arch up from the seating with a groan leaving your lips. You squirmed under his palm taking your hands off him to push away his hand but he didn’t budge an inch and only leaned further down to you.

His lips barely brushed over your ear “Well guess what? You’re holding it ‘till I say so.” The purple-eyed man told you while backing away to look you in your glossed-over eyes. “You’re so mean.” Ran once again laughed at you. Out of all the things he’s done to you, this is the meanest? You’re a joke. “Hey now, I’m not neglecting you. Just gotta be fuckin’ patient.” Ran said closing his eyes and grinding his teeth at how you tightened around him just silently pleading for him to let you have your release.

Ran’s thrusts got harsher and faster as he was fishing for his own orgasm, no longer focused on yours. That’s if he even was in the first place. He bullied his cock against your g-spot while he threw his head back while his groans were overcome by your incredibly loud moans. This was probably one of the only times Ran actually didn’t find your constant babbling annoying, only when it was about how good he was making you feel. How you loved him so much and would do anything for him. Everything else that left your mouth was pointless and he never listened but this…oh he lived for this.

“Ran…” You weren’t sure if your moans were in the pleasure or the pain of your head constantly hitting the car door. It didn’t matter honestly because he wouldn’t care. “P-Please…” You pleaded breathlessly unsure if you’d be able to continue holding it. Ran peeked his eyes open to glance down at you before closing them once more as his fingers dug into the skin of your belly.

His purple strands of hair dangling in his face unkempt and unruly drove you crazy “If you don’t cum with me, you’re not at all.” Ran mumbled taking his hand away from you briefly to slick his hair back. You nodded rapidly waiting for the feeling of him cumming so you could. His slender cock twitched inside of you warning his release but before it came, he pulled out and came all on your bare stomach. A few of the white ropes landed on the tight dress that had been pushed up to your chest making you grumble about how dirty it looked now.

Your wide watery eyes gazed into his as tears spilled onto the apples of your cheeks and he breathed heavily. Ran sat back on the seats still facing you before his expression changed from out of breath to mischievous. 

His fingers went and grabbed at your hair before he pulled you forward to now sit on your hands and knees with your face even closer to his. Ran’s lips met you and you gladly allowed him access to your mouth immediately falling to his mercy as you always did but before the kiss could get even more heated, he pulled away. He barely gave you any time to allow questions to escape those swollen lips of yours before he shoved your head down, his cock immediately hitting the back of your throat.

“Uhn!” You choked while looking at him with teary eyes with your nose buried in his happy trail “What are you waiting for, slut?” The Bonten executive questioned and you didn’t respond and only began to take him further down your throat. Hollowing out your cheeks and sucking on his cock while your tears marked their place on his pelvis bone.

Ran leaned back with a groan “Fuck, princess.” Oh how you loved it when he called you that, it was a sign that he at least cared to give you a pet name that was not degrading you. Ran grinned at the feeling of his firearm under his fingertips, he quickly grabbed it from behind him and pointed at your head. You hadn’t even realized it until you felt the surprisingly warm metal against your sweaty forehead and your eyes grew large at the sight.

The gun was loaded and the safety was not on. He could shoot you in the head right here and it had you shaking but you kept taking him to not anger him “Oh relax, my finger ain’t even on the trigger.” Ran said with a malicious grin enjoying how it made you tremble “But it will be if you don’t hurry up and make me cum.” He said shrugging his shoulders carelessly. Of course, he wasn’t going to but Ran took pride in his ability to manipulate people so you believed him.

Eye contact was held as you tried even harder to get him to his release with your precious eyes begging him to spare your life. You suckled at his tip as you jerked him off with your other hand with hot streams of tears messing up your expensive makeup and Ran only moaned at the feeling soon not caring about the gun in his hand but you still did.

Despite your fear, you felt your core growing hot at the action. If it were any other person pointing that gun at your head after knowing your mistake during a drug deal, you would’ve pissed your pants knowing your life was going to end but it was Ran. Ran wouldn’t do that…even if he did, you wouldn’t mind as much as if it wasn’t him. If you were going to die, you wanted it to either be at the hands of the man you loved or with him even if he didn’t love you back.

You loved Ran so much and whatever he wanted, you’d go along with because, at the end of the day, you were just Ran’s chess piece that he could move how he pleased and use however he wanted. 

Without a warning, Ran’s cock sprayed another round of white all over you and your hand making you even more of a mess than before. The gun dropped from his hand and onto the floor of the car as he smiled at you with large breaths coming from his mouth but not a single word, not an apology, not a joke. Nothing. He was just thinking.

Despite all of your mistakes and faults, maybe there was reason to still keep you around. Your pussy was fucking amazing and you could do amazing things with your mouth plus you were at his beckoning for everything. Perhaps he’d share you with Sanzu and Rindou…maybe even Koko but would you want to? Wait, who is he kidding? You’d do it if he told you to just like anything else.

You moved closer to him with your lips puckered out in a small pout “Can I have a kiss?” Your words were low and needy as your [e/c] eyes gazed up at him through your wet eyelashes. Ran smiled and grabbed your face “When you go get me my fucking money.” He replied in the same tone you had before letting go of your face and looking away. And it was no surprise when you began to put your clothes back on to do what he told you.

©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!

#torasplanet.ᐟ #marls-fics.ᐟ #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #ran haitani smut #ran haitani x reader #anon .ᐟ #lowkey a mess #◛⑅·˚ran:3

[five-bi-five-mind]

Maya and reader were together for 2 and a half years before Maya lost her job as captain of station 19, and reader broke up with her due to Maya's distance and behaviour toward the team and reader. reader than transfers to another firehouse, Maya goes through therapy and turns down the captain position and fights to get reader back.

I Wish I Was the Moon

Fandom: Station 19

Pairing: Maya Bishop x fem!reader

Words: 9.7k+

Genre: Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Summary: Maya hit rock bottom and along the way she lost the most important thing to her. It wasn't captain, she realized that quickly into her downward spiral. No, it was you. She had to do something to fix this, but she knew it started with herself. Would Maya be able to fix herself in time to win you back? Would you ever be willing to give her just one more chance?

Warnings: Alcohol mention; toxic relationship-ish depiction; mental health and therapy is a big theme; fingering (r!receiving); top!Maya, bottom!r; nipple play; marking.

A/N: Okay, this isn't exactly the same as the prompt so bear with me... but it's really close. Also did I put my own twist on an existing scene? Yes, yes I did. Also, the fic is named after the song with the same name that gave me inspiration. It's by Ewan J Phillips. Maybe listen while you read!

Maya was doing better. She really was. It was the first time she could say that in months, maybe even years. She was working on herself, she was putting in the effort. 

Therapy had a lot to do with this. From regular sessions came the ability to regulate her emotions when things felt too intense. It helped her process trauma, not just the trauma she experienced as an adult either, but childhood trauma too. It shocked her, how healing it could be to process everything. It was hard to really fully come to terms with all of it. Memories that she had hurt, but she didn’t have a word for why. Now it felt less painful since she finally understood herself and what had happened throughout her life. 

Of course, therapy itself was something she was originally reluctant to do. It was something she was too headstrong to think she needed it, until she finally tried. She didn’t try for her though. No, if she was being honest, what got her to first make an appointment and then— after three cancellations —to finally show up, was you. 

When you left, Maya told herself she didn’t need anyone, didn’t need you. That quickly became obvious to her that she was seriously lying to herself. You left because she pushed you away when she lost her position as captain. She became irritable when you asked for her to be more open. This irritability led to fights and fights led you to distance yourself from her eventually too. Then, after one night of fighting back and forth, you left to cool off. When you came back in, Maya rounded on you without skipping a beat. That was the last straw for you. 

Maya still winced at the thought of the words that left her mouth that night. Accusing you of cheating, that the space you were taking was just to fuck someone new. She had thrown in your face that you two weren’t fucking, so it only made logical sense that you were out finding someone else. Of course, the words Maya used were more colorful.

She could still see the hurt in your eyes when she said them. She still remembered the way you didn’t yell back, instead you just stood utterly silent. The next thing she knew, you were packing up your things and officially moved out of her apartment. 

The weeks to come, Maya didn’t run after you. She didn’t try to call or talk or anything. Maya had foolishly convinced herself that you needed her more than she needed you; that you’d be back. She wasn’t going to call first. You had to. But you didn’t and it made Maya spiral even more. Things got worse for her. At work it was a constant reminder of her loss of captain. At  home, her apartment reminded her too much of her loss of you. So, she went out to bars in the evenings often. A little too often. 

That drinking led to bad decisions. One particular night was definitely her rock bottom. She had decided to call you. Drunk off her ass and angry she was stumbling into a dark apartment without you had her thinking irrationally. Her hands moved before her mind really comprehend what she was doing. Maya saw your name on the screen and immediately hit call. 

“You just gave up,” she slurred into the phone the minute she heard your tired, confused greeting from the other line. “How could you just give up?”

“M… Maya?” Your voice sounded exhausted. Somewhere in Maya’s drunken brain she knew she shouldn’t be calling you at 2AM, but at that moment she didn’t care. 

“You left and now I come home to nothing,” Maya pressed. “I lost… I lost my dreams and then— then you left me. You gave up on us. What was it? Because you’re ashamed I got demoted?”

“Maya, I did not give up on us.” Your voice sounded clearer now and Maya’s mouth snapped shut at the frustration she heard on the other end of the line. “You pushed me away. You forced me to leave.” 

“That- I-“ Maya was at a loss for words. The way you sounded, it wasn’t broken like Maya had thought, it wasn’t sad. It was angry. In those few words, drunk or not, Maya knew you were absolutely right. 

A sigh came from the other end and Maya turned her attention to her phone again. “Look, Maya, are you okay? Are you home?” You didn’t have to be there to know she was very much not sober. She might have made the last few months with her hell, but you still cared. You couldn’t just easily erase the history you had with her or turn off your feelings. 

“I’m… yes, I’m home.” Maya couldn’t think of anything else to say. Her hand dropped and her phone slid from her palm onto the couch. Her thumb tapped the screen to hang up and then she just sat there. Her mind spun from your words and from the alcohol. Even in her inebriated state, she knew from your tone of voice, just how hurt you were by her. 

The day after was no easier. She had curled up on the couch that night, not bothering to change or move before she passed out. There was a small hope in her drunken mind that she would forget those devastating words you said, but of course she didn’t. They replayed in her mind from the moment she woke up and nursed her hangover to the minute she went to bed. 

It was after that night that she decided to fix herself. You never called to follow up. Your silence was something that Maya knew she deserved, but still wished was otherwise. So, Maya became determined. She would fix this, but it started with her. No more drunken calls, no more lashing out. The next time she saw you, she’d prove she was a better version of herself, one that deserved your love again. 

Logically, Maya realized this transformation wouldn’t happen over night. There were times where she wanted to be impatient and reach out. Her therapist worked with her on this though, advising her to wait until she was sure she was ready. Therapy helped her be honest with herself, and so many times she wanted to see you, but she knew she wasn’t ready.

Until she finally was. She had discussed this in detail with her therapist. There was a plan being made, one she was eager to implement. Months had gone by, so this wouldn’t be easy. But Maya had a newfound passion and knew that this new outlook, this better version of Maya, wasn’t complete until she had her love back in her arms. 

So, she planned to show up at your door. Flowers in hand, ready to beg on her knees for you to hear her out for even just one minute. She knew she didn’t deserve that for what she put you through, but she was willing to try. She had to try. From the moment she met you, she felt like you and her were meant to be. When she finally was to enact her plan, it had to go well. But things really never are that simple. 

Running into you totally disarmed her. You looked vibrant. The last time she saw you, like really saw you, you were just so… broken. She knew, deep down, that she did that to you. But now… Now you’re glowing, you’re thriving and it made her disgusted with herself. All these negative feelings that she had worked through for months suddenly bubbled to the surface the minute her eyes landed on your face. 

There you were, on the other side of the cafe Maya had stopped at, smiling at someone she didn’t recognize. How much time really has passed? Maya knew it had been months, but she was trying not to dwell and count. Apparently enough time had passed for you to move on. At least that’s what it looked like. Obviously, you would move on from her. Maya knew, realistically, you had every right to move on, but she hoped you’d wait for her to right her wrongs. God how she hoped. 

But clearly, you didn’t. Maya treated you like shit so you left. It made sense. You gave her chance after chance after chance, of course there would be a breaking point. Of course, there would be a process that Maya didn’t see where you would pick yourself up from the wreckage she left you in and find someone else who would give you all the things Maya promised. The reality of it was that Maya failed to follow through on every single thing she said to you. Well, all but one. She told you she would never stop loving you. This promise happened once on a night when she held you tight and was scared you’d slip through her fingers. She remembered the ways your breath hitched and your eyes shone as she looked down at your face in the moonlight and made that promise. 

She remembered that promise so vividly. When the storm was coming down hard and you both listened with the window open, wrapped in each other’s arms. The setting was quiet, calming even despite the thunder booming outside. The feeling of you wrapped in her arms warmed her heart and she had never felt more complete than in that moment, so she said, “There’s never been someone I loved more completely than you.” You looked up at her with wide eyes filled with the most hopeful emotions. Then she followed “And I promise, that won’t ever change.” And it didn’t. Even if you didn’t look at her the same way, or at all now, she still loved you with her entire heart. Despite all the ugliness of your last few months together, it still was the truest feeling she’s ever had. Each night she laid down in an empty bed she ached for not just another body next to her, because that wouldn’t suffice. No, she ached for you and you alone. 

When Maya saw you, you didn’t see her. She had decided she needed to get out of there as fast as possible. After her order had come out, she snatched her coffee as fast as she possibly could. Her head stayed turned from you as she made her way past your table and to the exit. Of course, she was trying so hard to avoid your gaze that she didn’t pay attention to where she was going.

She fully bumped into another random man, her coffee falling to the floor and spilling all over the place. Apology after apology flew from her lips as she still tried to keep her head down and clean up her mess. When she popped back up with a handful of coffee soaked napkins though, that’s when her eyes met yours.

You were shocked, staring back at her with eyes wide. “Maya?” Your voice was full of surprise and not resentment, which relieved Maya for a second. But then your eyes flicked to the confused person next to you and Maya’s eyes followed before landing back on your face.

The look you gave her next killed her. It was a look of guilt and pity. One that crushed Maya’s heart into a million pieces. So, she fled. 

If you had followed her, Maya didn’t notice. She walked with as much speed as she could without breaking into a full blown sprint. Her eyes stung, but she refused to cry. 

This whole encounter threw off everything for her. She had to rethink everything she planned. Was it still possible to win you back? Was it too late? Should she even try?

Those were all the questions she flung at her therapist the moment she sat down for her next session. What she was reminded of was that she had no answers for what was going on and who she saw with you. Therefore, she had no answers for the previous questions she posed. 

The new plan was still to reach out, but be more casual about it. Ask for coffee and discuss all the ways you may have changed and how Maya had been doing. Focus on you first and then perhaps Maya can move onto her proposal to restart. This plan positioned herself so that she could learn who that person was and what the situation might be before putting her heart right on the line. 

She wasn’t ready for all of that just yet though. There was a greater potential for rejection now. Maya told herself she was too scared to know the truth so she would wait a bit longer. Even if waiting was knowing she could possibly be pushing you closer to this mysterious person, she just couldn’t muster up the courage. But, much like the coffee shop incident, life had other plans. 

In the months you two had been apart, Maya hadn’t run into you at all. Now, suddenly, she bumps into you two weeks in a row before she was really ready to. It was like some kind of cosmic cruel joke. 

Again, when she saw you, she felt utterly disarmed. She was just trying to enjoy a nice run when she ran straight up to you. Not intentionally, of course, she was off in her own little world. Her mind was wrapped up in you, so to hear your voice say her name as she passed had her utterly freeze in shock.

“Hi…” Maya said hesitantly as she turned to see your face staring back at her. This time, thankfully, you appeared to be alone.

“Hi.” Your voice had just as much hesitation as hers. “How… um, how are you?”

“Good,” Maya nodded, trying to catch her breath and calm her heart rate. She didn’t think it was the run that was elevating it. “Yeah, I’m good.” And it was true to an extent, even if she was internally panicking.

She hadn’t thought it would go this awkward. Maybe it was naive, but she assumed everything would just… click when she was one-on-one with you again. But instead, you were anxious and she was tense. 

Maya took a deep breath, remembering the exercises given to her in her sessions. It helped ground her and get her bearings. “How are you?” Maya finally managed to ask after a long, awkward pause. 

“I’m okay.” If there was one thing Maya knew, it was how to read your eyes. Your tone sounded fine, but that answer didn’t reach your eyes. In fact, as Maya looked on at your face, she thought you looked tired. Maybe even quite a bit sad. She wondered if she read you wrong at the coffee shop. If maybe you weren’t as happy as you seemed. Did your smile reach your eyes that day? Maya was too taken aback by suddenly seeing you that she didn’t pay much attention then. 

“Yeah?” Maya questioned. 

You nodded and for a moment that awkward pause was back. “Maya, about the other day…” you finally broke the silence.

“You don’t need to explain.”

“Yeah, but— I don’t know, I feel like I should.” Your voice got quieter as you spoke and Maya shook her head. She offered you a sad smile and more guilt washed over you. 

“You don’t owe me an explanation.” Maya honestly hoped you wouldn’t give one. Not yet, she still wasn’t ready to hear it yet. “It’s okay really.”

But then, as you both stood, shuffling awkwardly and trying to find the right words, or any words for that matter, Maya felt the nagging curiosity bubble up in her. Maybe if she did ask, it would be better now than later. She could rip off the bandaid. She didn’t want details, but she just wanted to know. It could determine if there was hope. If she had a reason to hold on to it; to you. So, she asked the scariest, but most simple question to end this internal debate that she could think of.

“Is it serious?” Maya tried to play it off as a casual question, but deep down the answer you would give her would hold an important weight in her heart that you were entirely unaware of.

“No,” you gave her a small, sad smile. “We just met that day.” 

Maya couldn’t help herself, she really couldn’t. She had to know. As much as your answers could rip her heart right out, she just had to. “Has there been anyone serious?” 

“No, Maya,” you sighed. It wasn’t a sigh of frustration, but one that sounded just so disheartening to Maya’s ears. “Not since…”

“Me,” Maya finished. 

You just nodded in a response. The look on your face said it all. The pain was still right there on the surface. There’s a discomfort between you two. Things were still broken. Of course they would be, Maya thought. It’s not like you two tried to talk after you walked out. She just let you walk away and she was sure you probably held that against her even today. You two didn’t try to be friends, you didn’t try to be anything after it all went down. It was just radio silence apart from that drunken night. But Maya could feel that there was still so much left unsaid. It wasn’t just her that wanted to talk, but she could see in your eyes that you did too. If you didn’t, you could’ve just walked on. Yet, you stayed. It was awkward and public, but you still stood in front of her, shuffling your feet, as you waited for more words to come. So a talk was definitely necessary and obviously overdue. The question is, would you be willing to actually sit down and talk with her?

She had to try, right? You were, well, you. The person on Maya’s mind every single day even if you weren’t currently in her life. Her greatest love that still held all of her heart. She had to try. 

“Could we… I don’t know.” Maya was really struggling to get these words out there. No matter how many times she practiced this in her head after running into you, doing it was harder. She had to be brave though. She knew this moment wouldn’t come again for a long time. It had been so long since she saw you. Last week didn’t count, this meeting was different; face-to-face. A rare coincidence that suddenly presented her with so many options. What would happen if she let this chance pass her by? When would it come next? Would that girl you were with still be nothing serious? Maya couldn’t risk that. “Could we maybe grab dinner sometime?”

“Why?” It wasn’t a harsh question. You weren’t being defensive when you asked, but you were being cautious. Maya understood that and honestly she appreciated it even. But the question still took her aback.

“I just- I think we should talk.” Maya searched your eyes for any type of negativity to her request. She was really putting herself on the line. Not just with asking you to talk, but actually telling you that she was willing to. And talk she would. She would say everything that was left unsaid and she would let you say what you needed to say too of course. Maya could show you that she’s different, that she’s better, that she changed. Maybe then you’d give her just one last chance. She had no right to ask you for any more, not when so much time had passed. But god fucking dammit she wanted you back so badly. 

“I’ve been seeing a therapist and working on myself,” Maya continued. “I just want the chance to— to show you how far I’ve come.” The mention of therapy shocked you. It was something you asked her to consider, but all you were met with was a scoff. As your eyes searched Maya’s face, you realized how sincere she was. She seemed to be very honest about her claims. 

You wished you could relate. That you could say you worked on yourself in the time you two were apart. Truthfully, when Maya saw you it was the first time you decided to stop drowning in your heartbreak and find someone new. The sight of Maya that day had ruined that resolve.

Secretly, after that day, you hoped to see her again. Part of you wished she would call, but she didn’t. If you called, you felt like that was betraying every promise you made to yourself after leaving her. She needed to change to make it work, to stop hurting you, but you were scared she wasn’t capable of that.

So, you didn’t call. But when you saw her running towards you, on a route you knew she took, you couldn’t stop yourself from stopping her. Part of you still felt shocked to see her again, but really it was you lying to yourself. There was a strong chance you’d see her, and you knew that. You told yourself you needed the walk for fresh air, but there was more to it. The need to just talk to her, for even a moment, was too great. You wanted to know how she was doing, if she was okay. That drunken call still ran through your head and made you sick with worry.

When you saw her at the cafe, though, you thought she looked good. There was an inkling of hope, which is why you found yourself here trying to “accidentally” bump into her. And it all played out how you wanted.

But then she wanted dinner and to actually talk and you realized you were playing a dangerous game. If she hurt you all over again, honestly you didn’t think you could survive it. All you’ve done for months is lay in an unfamiliar, empty apartment you managed to find when you left. It didn’t feel like home, it felt depressing. You were sufficating in your heartbreak and just starting to pick up the pieces. If she was lying to get you back, only to treat you so badly again, it would destroy you for good this time.

“I don’t know…” Your eyes fell as you tried to find the right words to let her down.

“Just one dinner and then, if you want, you never have to hear from me again.” Maya’s plea had squeezed at your heart. The moment you made the mistake of looking back up at her, your resolve broke. She was so hopeful and yet so scared at the same time. “Just one dinner,” She repeated and you shocked yourself when you nodded in agreement. 

“One,” you whispered. 

“Good.” Maya’s smile was hesitant, but her eyes sparkled as she realized you were giving her a chance. Maybe it wasn’t a chance to get back together and make up for all the pain Maya caused, but it was a start. “This weekend, let’s go to that Italian restaurant… the one you love so much.” 

You knew the exact one. Maya wasn’t subtle. It was your first date, which is possibly why it was your favorite place. It was romantic and intimate. A good place to talk, but also a good place to get lost in Maya’s presence and lose your resolve even more. 

Still you couldn’t help but agree. “I’ll meet you there.” You knew if you drove there at least you wouldn’t be going home with her even if you wanted to. Maya nodded, giving you her most charming smile that used to make you swoon. It still did, if you were being completely honest. 

Your smile was nervous as you returned it, but still there was a flutter in your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time. The last time was before Maya got demoted, when that bright smile was turned your way almost every day. Seeing it again, you didn’t realize how much you missed it. 

Both of you parted after a moment. Maya’s jog continued but this time instead of spiraling in anxiety about potentially losing you forever, she was happy. Her plan was to talk, really it was, but as she ran her mind daydreamed about all the romantic possibilities that could happen after.

You, on the other hand, were preoccupied with very different thoughts. Ones of re-lived heartbreak and broken promises. The rest of that evening you spent spiraling and consumed in regret and fear of the what ifs. 

---------------------------------------------

The weekend came faster than you expected it to. In the days that followed your last encounter with Maya, your mind was fixated on so many worst case scenarios. Maya, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. 

She was nervous, sure, but she was also confident. She had her foot back in the door, she could try to convince you that she had changed. Logically, she knew jumping back into it all with you would be nearly impossible. It wasn’t like she wasn’t ready for that or for you. She knew she was ready to have it all with you, to have you back home and in the bed you once shared with her. It was all she wanted now. Screw captain, she had dropped the fantasy of getting it back somewhere in the second month of regular therapy sessions. Recently, it had even been reoffered to her and it was just as much of a shock to the station as it was to herself when she rejected the opportunity to snatch the position again.

Somewhere in the process of self improvement, she realized that wasn’t actually what she wanted. What she did want was her life back. That wasn’t possible, she decided, without you. But, not only did she want her life back, she wanted it to be better. For you. It’s what you deserved and she realized that now. She had taken you for granted and she was going to spend the rest of her life making it up to you if you’d let her.

That was another thing. Part of her plan was ambitious. She had wanted to eventually prove her dedication to you with a ring she had long hidden in the drawer next to her side of the bed, waiting for just the right chance. This was part of her plan that she had in mind before she saw you on that coffee date and if she was being honest, it was a part she tried to let go of again before she saw you on her run. When she saw you at the coffee shop, she had tried to calm herself, realizing the minute she felt ready that she was getting a little too excited. She had expected you to be hesitant, mad even, but she had held onto this naive idea that you were waiting for her to better herself. 

Even if she tried to calm herself down and not get her hopes up, she couldn’t help it. The closer she got to Saturday the more hopeful she got. Her mind wandered to the daydreams she used to have about a future with you, a wedding, a house… All those big things. There were butterflies in her stomach that she hadn’t felt since she got demoted. It really felt like everything was coming together for her.

That is, until about two hours before you both had agreed to meet.

While she was eagerly getting dressed in the nicest possible outfit, you were sitting frozen on your bed, staring at the clock tick away closer and closer to when it was time to see her. Your mind was running in circles about how you were setting yourself up to get hurt again, how you were going along with this all too easily. It was a big step to see Maya and who’s to say she really has changed? Or what if she has changed, but would stop working on herself the minute she had you back? She could lean on you, sure, you were always there to support her, but you didn’t want to be her emotional punching bag again. You didn’t want the cold shoulder when she came home, the accusations, the walking on eggshells. You didn’t know what was worse, living with a shell of the woman you loved or being without her completely. But as these months went on, and that emptiness sunk in, you had gotten used to it. Maybe it was better than the constant pain, rejection, and resentment Maya had directed towards you? Or maybe you just got comfortable in it?

Either way you were scared, so you made a choice. It was one solely made out of fear, one that you chose without truly thinking over it in a logical way. You sent a text on impulse.

Maya saw her phone light up as she was out already, trying to pick up a few of your favorite things before the date really started. With your favorite flowers in hand, she opened the text and her stomach dropped. 

I can’t see you tonight. I’m sorry.

That was all you gave her and honestly, Maya understood. She really did, but she was still crushed. 

The flowers she had in her hand were left forgotten on the cashier counter as she just walked straight out the door. 

The minute you sent that text your heart sank. You saw the three dots on the text thread start for a moment and then nothing. There was no reply, all it said was that it was read about a minute after you had sent it. You fell back on the bed, regretting the decision almost immediately and knowing just how much that had to hurt Maya. But it was for the best, right? That’s what you were telling yourself. It would save you both pain in the long run. It would save her from seeing you leave again, seeing you not be strong enough to stay by her side when she’s going through the worst of it. 

The guilt was killing you.

Eventually, about three hours later and what would’ve been an hour into the dinner you were supposed to have, you got tired of wallowing. You needed to eat, you didn’t have the emotional energy to cook, and maybe it would be good to get yourself up and moving. That way you couldn’t break your resolve, which for three hours had been seriously slipping. You lost count of the amount of times you typed and deleted an apology text to send to her. Of course, none of them got sent. If you sent one then there would be a possibility to reschedule and that reschedule would lead to all these feelings again. You couldn’t do that and you couldn’t put Maya through that.

So, by some miracle, you got yourself back out of bed. You walked, on autopilot, to your favorite pizza place to get some food. Honestly, you were probably quite the sight. You didn’t bother to do much other than get dressed in a comfortable t-shirt and jeans. There were probably still tear stains on your cheeks from how overwhelmed you felt by your emotions over tonight and your hair was definitely a mess, considering you buried yourself between two pillows and willed yourself to sleep off the horrible feelings. Sleep never came, so here you were. 

As you made your way into the restaurant and got in line to order, you really didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings. So, when you completely missed Ben Warren with his family sitting at a table, it was only understandable to take no notice. But he definitely saw you.

His head perked up and his eyebrows arched high in surprise. Maya had been talking all week about tonight, so to see you here and also in such a state of dishevelment was really shocking. But then he put the pieces together. You looked rough, but he didn’t think it was because of your interaction with Maya.

What he should’ve done was mind his own business, but he had a soft spot for you and Maya and once he saw how dead on your feet you looked, he couldn’t stop himself. With determination, while you remained completely oblivious to his presence, he walked up behind you and cautiously tapped your shoulder. 

You turned slowly, not really thinking about who was behind you or what they could want. The emotional exhaustion was too strong for you to honestly care much about anything. You really just wanted to get food and go. Even then, you weren’t sure you were going to eat it. At least you’d try though.

Then, as you turned and realized who it was, that’s when you jumped out of your skin. This was the last thing you wanted– Well, maybe not the last thing since it wasn’t actually Maya who was standing in front of you– But still, seeing someone she worked with was not much better. God, you hoped he didn’t know that you had plans with Maya. If he did, then it would be very obvious that you blew her off. He was her friend before he was yours. In fact, you weren’t sure if he really was your friend. Ben was kind and caring of course, but he was like that with everyone. 

The last thing you wanted was for him to look at you with any sort of disappointment or disapproval. What if his reaction was worse? That kind and welcoming side you had learned to associate with Warren could go away completely if he knew where you were supposed to be tonight. You really couldn’t get chewed out by him for hurting his friend. That wasn’t something you had the emotional capacity for tonight. Surely, Maya didn’t tell everyone. She wouldn’t, right? Thinking back to the dynamic you witnessed between her and her station and how everyone was a big family… the odds weren’t in your favor.

“What are you doing here?” Warren’s question was gentle, he waited to ask when the shock of seeing him finally washed from your face and was replaced with one of hesitation. He didn’t seem mad and, in fact, it was almost like he already knew the answer, but your heart still sank when you heard the question either way. “Aren’t you supposed to be meeting with Maya? It’s all she’s talked about this week.” 

So he did know. Of course, he knew. “Warren, hi… I- she told you about it?”

“It’s all she’s been talking about,” he said with no hint of humor in his voice. You swallowed hard at the look on his face. Not disapproving, but still serious.

“I- I couldn’t go,” you stammered. “It didn’t seem like a good idea. She said she changed— I don’t know. Look I should go.” You took a step back and your eyes darted to the exit. It was a bad idea to come out, you were seriously regretting that now. Food be damned, all you wanted to do was crawl back into bed. 

Seeing as Warren didn’t seem to want to stop you, you turned to leave. Even if you came here to get your comfort food before you spent the night, yet again, wallowing in heartbreak, your appetite was gone. Plus, you couldn’t stand the way he looked at you right now, the guilt of it was making you feel nauseous.  

“She gave up captain.” Warren’s voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

“What did you say…” Your question trailed off as you turned to him again.

“She gave up captain for you.” He repeated. What he said was something Maya didn’t even plan to tell you, not yet anyways. It was the last part of her process before she realized she was ready to try again with you, ready to show you she was better. And it was also the one thing you never thought you’d hear, one Maya knew would shock you to your core. She didn’t want you to know until she actually had you in her arms again, lest you think it was a tactic to get you back the easy way without even proving herself first. But, as Warren stood and saw how terrified you clearly were to jump into things with Maya again, he knew he had to nudge. 

“Warren…” It felt like the wind got knocked out of you. “That can’t be true. She wants that more than anything.” 

“No,” Warren shook his head. “There’s something she wants more.” His face said it all, he didn’t have to tell you what that thing was. It was so clearly you.

You were at a loss for words. Your heart was beating faster by the second as realization washed over you. 

“I suggest,” Warren’s voice was gentle now, “ you go see her. Tonight.”

You nodded, your feet backing away from the man yet again, but this time when you turned for the door it was for a different reason.

A million questions ran through your mind and you felt even worse about canceling on her now. You should’ve given her a chance to talk. You should’ve heard her out. If what he was saying was true then it changed everything. There was nothing bigger than the claim he just made. Warren didn’t lie either, you knew he was a trustworthy man. So you knew, deep down, the claim was true. 

Your feet carried you home faster than you thought capable. It was like your body was on autopilot while your mind raced. You stopped to grab your car keys before peeling out of your apartment parking lot and speeding towards your destination. You knew exactly where you wanted to go before you even really processed that you were already heading that way. It was rash. You had just spent the whole week worrying about being close to Maya again, hearing Maya out, opening yourself up to heartbreak. Now, though, everything was different. Now, you were suddenly ready to throw caution to the wind. 

Ben said the exact words you needed to hear to let go of any of your hesitations. Yes, you should’ve heard Maya out and yes, what you did wasn’t the best. But you were going to listen now, or try to. Even if your mind was in a million places at once, the only thing you knew was that you needed to see her. 

So when you found yourself at her apartment, you didn’t think to text or call her to warn her you were coming or to tell her you were there even when you slammed the car door and rushed to her unit. There was no hesitancy in the way you went straight to her door and knocked profusely. 

You definitely seemed like a crazy person, but you didn’t really care at that moment. Did you have a plan? No, but all you knew was that you needed to make this right. You’d hear her out, you’d listen for hours, you’d do whatever it took later. But as you waited anxiously for her to come to the door, this feeling inside you grew. It was one that told you to just fling yourself into her arms. Warren gave you all the reason you needed for you to let go of your trepidations. So if you could get her to open the door for you, you might just do exactly that. 

Finally, the door swings open and Maya’s irritated face twisted into utter shock the moment she saw you on the other side. It was almost comical to see just how flabbergasted she was. But then, as you took her appearance in, you realized she was probably wallowing in the same way you were the moment she read your text.

“(Y/N), hi what are you-”

“I have some stuff to say and I need you to just listen.” You interrupted her. She nodded immediately and stepped aside to let you in. You walked right past her and into the middle of her apartment. An apartment you used to share. The strangeness of being back here settled in your stomach like a storm and it just added so much more to your anxiety and confusion. Again, you really didn’t have much of a plan as to what was to come next. You should talk, you really should talk, but also you didn’t want to talk you just wanted… her. 

Maya walked in behind you and waited. You paced back and forth in front of her. With each step you took both yours and her anxiety was rising. She had no idea what you were going to say or if it was going to break her heart into tiny pieces. She was already hurting from your actions earlier today. The last thing she expected was to see you show up at her doorstep.  This could go either way. But honestly, she was gearing up more for you to say you never wanted to see her again rather than say anything good. But she hoped beyond hope that she was wrong to prepare for that. 

Your mind was racing and your heart was pounding in your chest. Ever since you let Maya back into your life (if you could even count the encounters you had as that), you were so afraid of her and the hurt she could possibly bring on top of the hurt you were already feeling from what happened before. But now you get this news? That the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world was offered to her and she said no. That one thing she wanted so badly it broke the both of you was no longer the thing she wanted and it felt like you were living in another reality. How were you supposed to react when Ben, the most honest man you knew, looks you in the eye and says it was you that she wanted most of all now? What do you say to him or, even more importantly, to her after learning that fact?

“We have a lot to talk about,” You were repeating yourself, but it was all you could think of to break the silence.  

“I know,” Maya nodded as she watched you pace the room.

“And a lot to work through.”

“I know,” she repeated.

“With this dinner was I… Was this your way of getting things back to the way they were?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Not how they were. A new start.”

“Maya, I- I’m still hurt. You hurt me and I haven’t healed all the way yet. It’s not that easy.”

“I know,” Maya hung her head. “I know, I hurt you. And I know it’s not that easy.”

“But even then… even…” Your words were escaping you and the battle in your mind was fizzling out to just one thing. You were so fucking tired. Tired of hurting from Maya. Tired of working through all of this and “staying strong” whatever the fuck that meant. Fuck sticking with your decision and standing your ground. Fuck being apart from the only woman you think you ever truly loved and would ever love. Fuck all of that. “Even after everything, even after months have passed… God, Maya can you just be kissing me now? Please?”

It didn’t even take Maya two seconds to process your words. In two quick strides she was in front of you, with her hands on either side of your face, pulling you in. It felt like a hurricane of emotions exploding inside you the minute her lips crashed into yours. But god was it just so… so everything. It was painful, it was incredible, it was messy, it was earth shattering. The way she was pressing her lips to yours with so much need, so much love, and so much desperation. And you met every emotion she was giving you into that kiss with your own tenfold. God, this was all you both wanted.

Maya felt like she was about to explode with joy. She knew there was work to be done, she knew you were hurt and the both of you were still broken, but finally there was hope. When she asked you to dinner, never in her wildest dreams did she think this would be happening right now. Especially after the text she received. But this. This moment right here was a sign that those pieces she broke back then could start being put together and that was all she had hoped for the minute you walked out the door. She was going to do everything she possibly could to fix what you two had. 

Your hands moved to tangle into Maya’s hair and hers moved to wrap around your waist and pull your body to press against hers. The kiss grew more and more heated with every passing second. It was like you had been starving for her and now finally you got to have a taste again, but it was going to take so much more to satiate you. Maya was in the same boat.

In the back of your mind, you thought maybe you should stop at kissing her and start talking at some point, but then your back hit the wall and Maya’s hands were dipping under your shirt and scratching at your sides. The way she was pressing herself so completely into your body, while also pulling you impossibly closer had your head swimming. A small moan fell from her lips as she kissed you harder and any thought of stopping was totally gone. The overwhelming need to be even closer (if that was possible at this point) overtook you. Plus, you didn’t want to go another night without having her next to you. The thought of going back to your empty apartment, falling asleep alone in bed, without her strong arms around you was the last thing you wanted. Tonight, you wanted Maya and you weren’t going to deny yourself of that any longer.

You were melting into her, your hands gripping at her back desperately as she kissed you with everything she had. The way your tongue ran over hers had both of you groaning against each other’s lips. Maya too thought maybe she should take it slow. Her reasoning was that she was worried she’d scare you off, but then you held her tighter and let her kiss you deeper and she knew that she couldn’t hold back. She’d only stop if you told her to stop, otherwise she was going to finally indulge. 

Eventually, Maya’s hands gripped tightly at your waist and she pulled you to walk backwards into the bedroom with her. Not once did she break the kiss and with each step you took with her, she just felt more eager to have you completely again. When both of you crossed the threshold, her hands were immediately tearing at your clothes. Both of you only broke the kiss for her to remove your shirt and bra and then her own, before you both leaned back in.

This time, when she kissed you, she slowed a little. Her tongue licked into your mouth and your nails dug into her bare shoulders. Her hands trailed down your stomach until they reached your jeans. She slipped her fingers into your belt loops and, in one swift move, she had you turned around until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you fell backwards. 

You landed with an umph but she didn’t seem to mind, neither did you. She followed you down with her knees resting on the mattress on either side of your hips to hold herself up. Her lips moved from yours to lick and nip down your neck. You were breathing hard and small whines were falling freely from you now. 

All the while, Maya was in a state of disbelief. This all felt too good to be true, but then here you were. In her hands, on her bed, laying right beneath her. The very thought of it all just made Maya’s need for you rise. 

Her teeth sank into the tender flesh between your neck and collarbone a little harder than she had been nipping at you before. A loud gasp filled the room, but quickly turned into a desperate moan as her tongue ran over the bite mark she left behind.

Usually, when you two were together before, you would complain about her leaving marks and the efforts you’d have to take to hide them the next day. This time was different, though. You didn’t mind her doing it, in fact you wanted her to. In a weird way it was a reminder that Maya seemed to have changed and that she was here with you tonight. So if anything happened after this encounter, at least you had this moment with her. This moment of completely throwing caution to the wind and letting Maya have you completely as she once did.

Maya’s hands tugged at your jeans as her lips and tongue made their way down to your chest. When she lowered her head past your neck, she was finally met with the sight of your perfect bare chest. When Maya had managed to rip off your jeans and toss them somewhere, one hand shot right up to palm at your breast while the other pushed your thigh until you had no choice but to spread your legs and let Maya adjust to kneel between them. 

With the way Maya was palming at one nipple, rolling it between her fingers and teasing you, your head was swimming. Then, she took your other in her mouth and your own hand flew to her hair, pressing her closer to your bare breast as she lightly sucked and nipped at it. 

Your head had already fallen back onto the pillow, your body already overwhelmed by all the things Maya was doing to it. It was like she never missed a beat.  She knew what you liked, she remembered every sensitive spot, every way and place to touch that drove you crazy. When her fingers finally left your inner thigh and moved between your legs to just barely trace the outside of your folds, you couldn’t stop the whimper.

That was one thing about you and Maya. The sex was always amazing because she always paid attention to your body. But she also loved to draw things out, which is exactly what it seemed like she was doing tonight. The way she continued to pay attention to your breasts while just barely ghosting the tips of her fingers over your clit was her way of taking her time. It was also driving you crazy. You didn’t think tonight, of all nights, you could let this be drawn out.

It had been months since you left Maya and even longer since she actually touched you like this. Drawing it out was torture for you. Even though Maya was enjoying this, enjoy your body, she still knew you well. She didn’t miss the frustrated huff when she only traced your entrance but didn’t do much else. She heard the pleading whimpers when her fingers rubbed lazy circles against your clit. As much as she wanted to take her time and absorb every little detail about your body, she wanted to fulfill your needs first.

So, when she entered you with two fingers without warning, the way you gasped out her name felt like the most rewarding sound Maya had ever heard. You still had one hand tangled into her hair and the other moved to wrap around her back as she began to move her fingers inside you. 

Maya managed to position herself in a way that whenever she entered her fingers into you, she put her whole body behind it. She rocked into you with each time her fingers pumped inside you. The whole bed creaked and groaned as she continued to fuck you at a steady, but strong pace.

As her pace sped up, Maya buried her head into your neck. Her emotions were high right now. To be with you like this again finally was everything to her. The way you held onto her, the way you felt around her fingers, the way you were about to fall apart at any second because of her— it was so beautiful to her. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she ignored them, knowing they were just a result of how happy she finally was. Her lips reattached to your neck, leaving marks on your skin as you turned your head into the pillow and gave her more access. 

When her fingers curled inside you and you cried out her name again, she groaned into your neck. Her free hand moved to grab one of yours and entangle your fingers as she started to pump the two inside you even harder. At this point, she knew you were close. She could feel you tighten around her fingers.

By now all you were doing was moaning her name. Every part of you was overwhelmed by Maya and the intensity was nothing you had experienced before. To go so long without the woman you loved, to not know if you’d ever have her again, made this experience so much more intense.

Your body shook as Maya continued to press her fingers against just the right spot inside you. The hand that was now in yours held tighter and you squeezed back as your body started to approach that edge.

White hot pleasure burst through your whole body finally and you felt yourself tighten even more around the fingers inside you. You let out a pathetic whimper of Maya’s name as you came. She kissed at your neck and your face, murmuring different things about how good you were, how beautiful you looked, and other praises.

Your body relaxed underneath her finally and she slowly and carefully slid her fingers out of you. Maya’s body rested more fully on top of yours once she had and you still struggled to regulate your heartbeat.

A hand came to press against your cheek and Maya leaned up slightly to look at you. You were still panting a little from the intensity of the orgasm, but you managed to focus your eyes and look back. The expression you saw from her took your breath away. Never had you seen her so happy, so radiant in all the time you’ve known Maya. She was smiling down at you with the softest, but most genuine smile you’ve ever seen. Her eyes shined as she stared back at yours and all you could read in them was admiration and happiness. 

She leaned down then, her lips pressing against yours in the most gentle kiss. Your eyes fluttered closed and you leaned up into it, overtaken by the softness that Maya was displaying. 

“I know we need to talk,” Maya whispered when she pulled away. “But would you stay the night, please?” You nodded and Maya’s smile only got brighter. “I just want to hold you for the rest of the night. Is that okay?”

“I’d like that,” you managed to say, your voice still rough from the intensity of the events just moments ago. 

“Good,” Maya sighed happily. She adjusted then, rolling off you and shimmying out of the rest of her clothes. Then she settled beside you, pulling you into her strong arms where you adjusted until you felt comfortable. There was so much intimacy in this moment, your bare bodies pressed to each other and your head on her chest so close you could hear the beat of her heart. Before you left, before Maya lost captain even, this kind of intimacy was hard for Maya to express. You had learned and accepted that it was a feeling that would come when it did, and that was rare.

But tonight, as Maya’s fingers raked gently through your hair, it felt so natural and easy for her. There didn’t seem to be any difficulty in the affection Maya was showing and your heart skipped a beat as you realized just how much truth she had spoken when she said she changed. 

You felt content in this moment, like everything would be okay. No matter what all you had to talk through, no matter the work that still needed to be done, things between you two would be okay. You were right where you were supposed to be and both of you felt that sentiment now more than either of you ever had. 

“Maya,” you whispered into the peaceful silence the room had fallen into. “I love you. I never stopped loving you.” Those words had so much emotion, they held so much promise in them, and you hoped Maya understood all of it in the conviction you put behind them.

Maya’s hand paused in your hair for a moment, but you felt the arm around you tighten and pull you closer. “I love you too,” Maya finally said, clearing her throat to avoid the obvious signs of tears that threatened to spill. “I will always love you with everything I have, if you let me. I promise you that.”

It was a new promise that Maya was making to you. What felt like so long ago Maya had held you and said she never loved anyone more completely than you and promised that never would change. Now she is promising you that she will give her all to loving you and being the partner you need. Maya has broken promises, she’s let you down and hurt you in the past. It’s what broke the both of you before. But as you took in her words, you knew, just as she held onto the one promise, she’d hold onto this one as well. 

There was healing to do, but Maya was ready to rebuild with you if you’d let her. And as you pulled yourself closer into her body and pressed a kiss over her heart, she knew you were all in to rebuild with her too.

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[odinsblog]

“Yeah, I mean, in 2018 was the first Shakespeare and race festival that I curated at the Globe. And at that time, there was less vitriol, but it was more like, why are we talking about Shakespeare and race? Shakespeare's got nothing to do with race.

So that led me to thinking about writing this book. But it was in 2020, when I launched the anti-racist Shakespeare webinars, that there was a horrible backlash, very racist backlash. And my own ethnic origins were brought into the conversation.

Oh, she's a woman of color. That's why she's talking about race. And actually, I had been at the Globe for 17 years by that point, you know?

And so that backlash is about ownership. It's about people feeling that something is being taken away from them.

And after the Black Lives movement, Black Lives Matter movement went global, and organizations like museums and galleries and theaters started to take it seriously, that's when you started to see a really racist backlash against any kind of progressive movement, whether it's in a theater or a museum. And I certainly had to face that in 2020.

I was a little bit worried about it, probably more so in the UK, because I think in the UK there's a special sense of ownership of Shakespeare in the way that there isn't in the US. So I'm American, but I'm also a Pakistani. And so I think it was really, it's a double whammy for the British.

Whereas in America, I feel like I was less worried because Americans don't mind other Americans talking about Shakespeare. So I was in the UK, concerned about that. But I think it obviously didn't stop me because what I'm trying to do is keep Shakespeare around.

And I'm explicitly not advocating canceling Shakespeare. And I think that's what they all thought I was doing when I was running those webinars.

So Shakespeare sets Othello in 16th century Venice, which was a very multicultural society because Venice was a sort of trading giant in this time period. So it was really financially lucrative for them to have people from all backgrounds working and living in Venice. And so it's about a Black African, known as a Moor in that time period, who was the captain of the Venetian army.

And it starts with another member of the army sort of screaming and shouting outside the door or window of a fellow's now father-in-law saying that, basically shouting a lot of racist epithets about how his daughter, his white daughter, has married a Black man. And she's done so without her father's consent. So it starts with this idea of there's been some sort of violation.

A Black man has married a white woman, and this is a problem.

So it ends up at the court of the Duke who is dealing with other issues because the Turks are now circling around their outpost in Cyprus, and they need Othello to do some work for them and to fight off the Turks. So the Duke says, oh, look, it's okay. It's fine. You know, Othello is a great guy. We've all worked with him. We know him really well.

And that's when the line comes out: He is far more fair than Black.

And what he's saying there is that essentially, look, he doesn't act Black. He acts white. He acts like us. So let's just be okay with this.

And so what you have there is a situation in which somebody who has kind of violated a kind of racial code in Venetian society is given a pass because he's very useful to that society. What happens in the rest of the play is that lago works on him and tries to convince him that his wife is having an affair with his lieutenant.

And unfortunately, Othello believes him, and they plot to murder Desdemona, and they do. He does. And it's a heartbreaking, heart-wrenching play.

And what's difficult about it is that it seems to fulfill stereotypes about Black men and Black masculinity. So it's always been a bit of a problem to stage. So yeah, it's a fantastic play, though.

It's a real sort of exploration of interracial relationships in a white-dominant society.

Yeah, I think it's harder in classrooms. And that's something that I actually been thinking about how to address a colleague of mine, and I've been discussing it. Because a lot of teachers, especially white teachers, aren't necessarily equipped to have a conversation about race that isn't going to make all the students in the room feel objectified or uncomfortable.

And so what I'm trying to, what I also get at the book is about discomfort, being able to lean into the discomfort of having conversations. And Shakespeare, for him, he was an advocate of discomfort. You were not comfortable when you went to see a Shakespearean tragedy.

He didn't want you to be.

And so we should try and be comfortable in the classroom. And there are productions who have tried very hard to lean into the racial tension and angst in the play.

But often it can be unsuccessful, particularly if it's a white director that sees too much optimism in the play. And says, oh, this play really, it's not about race. It's about redemption of characters who've been singled out for some reason.

I'm like, well, the reason is race.

My goal was always to show how it rears its head, even in the moments that are the most unexpected or that seems innocuous.

But what is interesting is that in a lot of his comedies, he's using anti-Black racism as a source of humor. And, you know, that would have made people laugh, some of the comments that you hear in some of his most delightful comedies. And because the racism isn't the undercurrent of the play, that it's easy to miss it.

So you'll just get all of a sudden a comment like Much Ado About Nothing, where the character Benedict is talking with his friend Claudio about a woman that Claudio has a crush on. And he says, oh, she's too brown for a fair praise. And that would have made people laugh.

What he's saying is that she's not attractive enough to praise her, and fair in that time was a very elite form of whiteness. It meant beautiful and virtuous and white with a luster or a shine, and that shine is the virtue of a woman. And no woman of color could ever achieve that, because she's not white enough.

So he's saying that this woman is too brown, even if she's not brown, but he's using brown as a way of denigrating people of color.

But I think Shakespeare is still valuable for us because of the contemporary nature of some of the issues that he raises in his plays.

I mean, there's a great speech in Midsummer Night's Dream where he talks about the destruction of the planet because of the way people are behaving towards each other. And the powerful resonance of that today just is unmissable. So Shakespeare is able to articulate or help you to think about questions that are so urgent in your own moment.

I think other writers need to be brought into dialogue with Shakespeare. If you teach Othello, teach Toni Morrison's Desdemona, right?

It's incredibly lucrative intellectually and emotionally to keep Shakespeare in the curriculum.”

—Farah Karim Cooper: Director of Education at Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, and author of The Great White Bard, How to Love Shakespeare While Talking About Race

#shakespeare #farah karim cooper #othello #racism #ingrained racism #casual racism #writing #much ado about nothing #colorism #the merchant of venice #anti blackness #desdemona #blacklivesmatter #theatre

[s0lam33y]

shuriri hcs [new and updated!]

side note: these aren’t the same HCS that I uploaded on my old acc. Some may be similiar but anyway hope it’s obvious that I did better on these. enjoy them and reblogs/feedback is always welcome.

Timeline: about two years after the bpwf film.

Shuri’s convinced that they need a theme song when they go on missions but they have opposite music taste.

Shuri always makes corny ass vine references and it makes Riri cringe.

“Shuri, quit talkin’.”

Shuri practically lives in Riri’s dorm. She’s there so often that Riri kinda expects it.

Shuri cannnnot stand when Riri brings up the whole bulls game situation because she ends up fighting for her life.

Shuri loves to rest her chin on Riri’s head, if not her head then her shoulder.

Riri is the big spoon, all the time. Rarely, does she ever get spooned.

They’ve been told that they remind the lab staff of an old sassy couple because they always throw fake shade at each other.

Riri always up on herrrrrr, but shuri doesn’t mind at all.

Once they decided to play fight and Shuri forgot about her panther strength…Riri ended up with a bruise on her thigh.

Riri did not know how to work her kimoyo beads at first and ended up calling a council meeting once my accident.

Their height difference. That’s it.

they always some how matching? Not necessarily color coded but they always for some sort of matching accessories or shoes.

Shuri has no comebacks…at least not when needs them so she just agrees with what Riri says.

“Who’s the man in the relationship?”

“Your mother.”

“What she said.”

Riri asks dumbass questions in the middle of the night.

“You’d still fuck with me If I was a butterfly right?”

“No.”

Riri taught shuri how to drive an actual car on the road and they damn near crashed Riri’s red barracuda.

Shuri’s always braiding her hair.

“Would you hold still?”

“Braid less tight, then maybe I would.”

when they go out together, Shuri’s social battery runs out so quick because she’s much rather be home.

When they go shopping, Shuri’s always carrying Riri’s bags.

“You the one with super strength not me.”

Shuri sleeps 60 percent of the time so when they hang out, half of it consists of naps and it rubs off on Riri.

Shuri always making some smartass comment about Riri’s height.

“I think ironheart would be more of a success if she was taller.”

“Literally fuck off.”

Riri is genuinely unhinged because she knows how fine Shuri is.

“Drop yo drawls, bruh.”

“Riri, we’re in a council meeting.”

“They can watch-“

“You can never be serious.”

“I’m being so serious.”

Shuri cannot take a compliment for some reason. Every time Riri says something, she gets kinda shy.

Riri ‘borrows’ Shuri’s clothes.

“Yo, can I get that hoodie?”

“What-“

“I’ll give it back.”

“I know you won’t, but here….”

Shuri is so petty when it comes to her lab so Riri has her own area.

Shuri gets her mad on purpose to hear that Chicago accent. Trust she gets it.

Shuri’s a morning person and ends up having to drag Riri out of bed every single morning.

“Just get up.”

“M’coming.”

“The alarm went off an hour ago.”

Both of them love them some chains.

Riri’s unhinged, we know this but so is Shuri, just more subtly.

“We got five minutes till your next class starts.”

“Girl….”

“I’m just saying, I felt like it was worth mentioning.”

“I missed a week of school cuz of you, TWO YEARS AGO….and I need that 4.0 GPA, I’m goin to class.”

Shuri cannot stay still when she sleeps and it pisses Riri off so bad but she doesn’t say anything about it. She’s also a blanket hog so Riri has no choice but to cuddle with her.

They argue over things that don’t really need to be argued over.

“For the last time…Chicago Pizza isn’t the best.”

“What’d you just say?”

…

“Chicago was not Micheal’s best song, you’re just saying that because you’re from Chicago.”

“Shuri, i want to have a peaceful evening.”

Never let them play Uno together because it ends up in some sort of argument.

“You only took two, take four-“

“I’m not taking four cards.”

“Fuck you mean, I put down a plus four.”

“Take it back, I’m not taking four cards, Rianna.”

The same way Riri takes Shuri’s clothes, the same thing happens with Riri.

“Is that my MIT sweatshirt?”

“No.”

“….”

“It’s comfortable.”

“So it’s my sweatshirt?”

“I didn’t say that.”

As previously stated, Riri is UNHINGED…so trust that her comments make everyone turn around sometimes especially when Shuri’s done with training.

“And the jog was quite nice- are you paying attention?”

“Mhm mhm, y’all do ab workouts too?”

“My eyes are up here.”

“I know.”

“What was the last thing I said?”

“….”

“….”

Shuri hates hanging up the phone. She sleeps on the phone, eats on the phone and sometimes they just sit in silence.

#shuri udaku #riri williams #black panther #shuriri #shuri x riri #mmcanons

[genderfluid-insomniac]

Hey! I hope you’re having a fantastic day, and is drinking plenty of water! If it’s not to much to ask, I was wondering if I could request a hurt/comfort for Macaque X fem!reader ? I personally think Macaque would be incredibly insecure about his appearance when in a relationship. He has lost an eye, he is scarred, he has six ears, AND he’s also a “ugly” monkey humanoid (which he strongly thinks human!reader would find unattractive compared to a normal human). He already goes as far to hide his true appearance from everyone. I need the reader to convince him that he’s pretty and doesn’t need to hide it! Thank you so much if you choose to take this one on!

Much love! -anon

The beautiful faults you hide from me ///Sick!Insecure!Six-Eared Macaque x reader

“Mac?” You waited a few seconds before calling out again and heading toward the upper half of his apartment (or more like a furnished and repaired abandoned warehouse). The past couple of days you hadn’t heard from your boyfriend which concerned you given that it was winter and Macaque didn’t do so well in the cold. Ever since you’d known him, he always ran cold temperature-wise, which didn’t bode well because he stayed inside as much as possible during winter so he wouldn’t get sick.

From where his bedroom was you heard a small sneeze and figured that's where he was residing, upon entering his room you could see that it was more messy than usual. The most shocking thing was that you could see all the features your lover usually hid with magic but that only meant something wasn’t right. It wasn’t that he never showed you what he actually looked like, that’s not what it was, he was actually just insecure about his scars despite you telling you countless times that you love him no matter what.

That didn’t matter though right now, you were more concerned about him and how sick he looked. “Macaque? Are you okay?” When you got no answer you rushed over and felt his forehead….It was so hot. You rushed to the kitchen and grabbed some cold water and a damp washcloth, quickly turning on the thermostat and getting back to your feverish lover. Macaque stirred as you entered the room and groaned, joints popping and voice creaking when he tried to voice his worries.

But you shushed him after you put the damp cloth on his forehead and attempted to coax him to drink. His red pointed mask that painted his face was dull and the usual vibrant color of his ears was pale, despite all that he still looked beautiful as always and even more so as the scars that covered his body showed how strong he’d been. The parts of his fur that were white, which when you asked him was due to being under Lady Bone Demons’ control or his original white fur before he died, faded into his normal black color and you couldn’t help but stare at the rare sight before you.

“I know-” Macaqued coughed and grasped his throat, wincing at the dryness and greedily taking the water you offered. Drips of water dripped past his mouth and got caught on the tangled facial fur as his adam's apple bobbed up and down, panting heavily to catch his breath and handing the cup back to you. “I know I look ugly but you don’t have to stare.” His voice hissed harshly at you and the glare he shot at you would have been more effective if you didn’t know him better. “Moonlight, you and I both know no one looks their best when they’re sick. But what’s causing me to stare is the possibility that you no longer have enough magic to even maintain your glamours much less your healing factor and I’m worried for you.”

The glance the shadow demon tossed to the side told you all you needed to know before you went through a chest beneath the bed and found the medications you needed. Taking the herbs and mixing them with modern chemicals, grinding them into a powder, and mixing them into potent tea (it didn’t taste the best but it got the job done). “Macaque? I hope you know that I truly love you no matter what you look like and those scars are proof of how strong you are. Not to mention you’re beyond beautiful ears and every small reaction they give, especially when something blushes against them.” To give an example you trailed your hand down the lowest pair of ears and softly chuckled when they twitched and fluttered at the attention.

You saw how your lover went to hide his flustered expression and intertwined his moving hand with yours, bringing them up to your cheek and kissing the back of it. “Moonlight? Can you look at me? I know you’re sick but this is very important before I give you your medicine cause you’ll get very sleepy.” He looked at you and your heart nearly fell at the tears pooling on his lids, the lip being held between his teeth and occasional trembles due to being cold. “Never ever will I judge you for how you look. You’re so gorgeous I fall in love again every time I look at you and the best part is you’re mine. All mine and no one else's.” You pressed a kiss to his nose and rubbed his cheek, wiping away the tears he finally allowed to fall.

The steaming tea was discarded on a nearby table as you moved on the bed and positioned yourself so Macaque laid on your lap facing your stomach and wrapping his arms around you. “I love you, Name.” He whispered and moved carefully so you could help him drink the tea, cooing at him to slow down and take his time. You stifled a laugh when he finished and stuck his tongue out in disgust. “I need to work on the taste portion of my medicinal practices when I get better.” Smiling at his attitude which already seemed to be better and tracing the scar going over his right eye, planning to tell him later that the scars and most of the features he hides are actually what fluster you more than his teases.

#lmk macaque #lmk x reader #lmk macaque x reader #six eared macaque x reader #six eared macaque

[loverofallthingssarah]

you’re a mean one, miss wednesday

wednesday x reader

plot: just a good ol’ christmas fluff

word count: 700+

a/n: sorry for any typos or mistakes!!

Wednesday Addams hated Christmas and everything about it. She was the complete embodiment of the Grinch. She depised frill, she hated giving, and she loathed cheer. You were the complete opposite of Wednesday in just about every way. Everything about Christmas you loved, especially the coziness of it all. Every year you made it your mission to make each holiday better than the last, and now that you got to share it with Wednesday you weren’t going to forget one single detail.

This year was all about spending your first Christmas together doing all the major cheesy, cliché moments. Very Hallmark. The problem was convincing Wednesday to participate in any of it.

The first task was getting Wednesday to compete with you in Nevermore’s gingerbread building contest hosted by Enid. You both spent the previous week begging her, and she never truly agreed but she showed up anyway. The whole time she just stared at you in disdain for making her endure such atrocious activities.

“Wednesday! Quick! Pass me the gumdrops!” you yelled while hurriedly getting together more frosting to ensure the foundation wouldn’t fall.

“I would rather gouge my eyes out with a toothpick than touch those.” she scowled.

You rolled your eyes and just decided to do it all yourself.

“Weds, can you please see if they have some more marshmallows?”

She grimaced at you for the umpteenth time, “Fine. I can touch those. They don’t give me the hives from all that color.” She headed over the the supply station.

You wanted to roll your eyes but you knee you were just lucky she even showed up. Luckily, your creativity alone could carry you to victory. Wednesday refused to be photographed with you for Nevermore's Yearbook picture as the winners of the gingerbread house contest. You didn’t really complain, it wasn’t like she helped much anyway.

Next on the list was building a snowman in the courtyard. Wednesday hated being the center of attention, but stood out there anyway. She actually tried to participate a little bit which brought joy to your heart seeing her get a little into the Christmas spirit. Until you got carried away and decided now was the perfect time for a snowball fight. Big mistake.

While she was putting a frown onto the snowman, much to your dismay, you were gathering up a handful of pearly snow.

“Hm, Y/n would you hand m-,” right as she was finishing her sentence you hurled the snowball right at her. Her face went from shock to infuriated.

“You. Better. Run.” and that you did. All the way back to Wednesday and Enid's room leaving a fit of giggles in your tracks. She was not very happy, not that she ever was, when she found you laying on her bed. But a simple kiss of her cold, pouty lips made her a little less irritated.

“So, where’s Enid?” you asked.

“She went home for break.” Wednesday replied indifferently. You rolled your eyes knowing Wednesday missed her effervescent roommate. She took her seat at her desk to do her daily writing session and you took the opportunity to set up the room for a Christmas movie night.

Once her writing for the day had been completed she turned around to see your cozy set up, with a beautifully tacky pair of matching Christmas pjs but while yours dawned green and reds hers were black and greys. She’d never admit it but she found them quite nice.

“You don’t expect me to put those on, right?” she asked. You pouted which truly was her weak spot. She rolled her eyes and grabbed them. When she came out of the bathroom you squealed in excitement and patted the space beside you on the bed. Wednesday begrudgingly sat beside you as you hit play on the remote. When you cuddled up close to her she wrapped her arms around you and you sensed her inhaling the scent of your shampoo from your hair.

As the movie started, she began to think to herself ‘When did I get so soft?’ but then she looked down at you and it all made sense. She would do anything just to put a smile on your face. You like Cindy Lou Who, made it all make sense for her. Wednesday could almost feel her black heart grew an extra size that day.

sfw taglist: @oh-mydarling @rainbow-hedgehog @peggycarter-steverogers @citizenoftheworld-stuff-blog @lanawinters-ily @lntlmate @sapphicforsarahh @strawberryshorttcakkee @dreamypqulson @goodeday2u @winters-witch-bitch

#wednesday x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday #wlw fanfic #wlw imagine #lgbtq #lesbian fanfic