#i mean its not gross its human and honest

[kapreday]

#17! 😊

an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

i HABITUALLY chew on my lips and the insides of my cheeks.

it's my anxious stim developed from years of braces. i used to just grimace/smile in anxious situations (always - my brain is a nightmare sometimes) and played clarinet through them. my braces would tear up the insides of my cheeks in both situations. after the orthodontic torture devices came off, the scarring on the insides of my cheeks annoyed me and i'm still chewing the scar tissue down to be flush with the insides of my cheeks a decade later. gross!

#i mean its not gross its human and honest #bad habits #velvethopewrites #ask games #thank you thank you thank you! #i also smoke weed every day as an anxious compulsion now at this point but i'll leave that one in the tags lmao

[dekusleftsock]

Don’t y’all love it when a popular tiktok creator is analyzing a character and interpreting it so, so wrong, and him and his dumb ass take is spreading.

Like it was one thing for you to be wrong

ITS ANOTHER THING FOR YOU TO BE WRONG AND MAKING OTHER PEOPLE MORE WRONG

If one more person says that Izuku is “underdeveloped” and that he’s “uninterested in all of his other relationships” and that he “has a power imbalance in his relationships with other characters bc they care more about him than he does them” STOP. PLEASE STOP.

A fundamental part of Izuku’s character: He is an UNRELIABLE NARRATOR. Most of his character is, therefore, told through SUBTEXT.

Izuku doesn’t say that he feels ashamed about his feelings for Katsuki.

But he does say that he thinks they’re gross.

Izuku doesn’t say that he thinks that Toga and her feelings aren’t human

But he does say that she is the “perfect counter to this quirk”.

THE LIST COULD GO ON.

Izuku is an unreliable narrator in a third person omniscient story (though sometimes mha acts more like a third person objective story? Anyway). That means that the way we do not understand the story is not through a retelling of what is happening to you, the viewer, unreliably—instead it is not telling you the full extent of his character and his thoughts.

To say “izuocha’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided” is NOT the same as saying “bkdk’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided”.

Izuku has always been obsessed with Katsuki. At some point the rhetoric being passed around was that it was Katsuki who was underdeveloped and uninterested in the dynamic. Now that rhetoric has been reversed since we’ve seen so much of Katsuki’s POV.

Ochako has always been obsessed with Izuku, NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND. In fact, Ochako’s arc even surrounded letting go of those feelings… as literally said in the text. Because that is a textual statement that she makes.

Izuku does not understand how or what Ochako loves in anybody, especially him. She loves a unique sense of personhood, which Izuku has always carried, and of which she saw in the entrance exam.

Izuku does not know how to view things he deems as “girly”, and Ochako very personally CANT be in a relationship with someone that she has realized is very repressed. Her friendships turn from friends to fascination very quickly, into her heroic form. (Think her few moments with Katsuki in that extra, or how disinterested she became of Izuku as she saw him run away from help, and not know how to respond to an apology. Or, hell, how much more interested she became when Himiko was honest with her feelings in their second real confrontation. She even says that she “admires how she can love so freely, and say it with her whole chest”)

LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS. THIS IS WHY IZUOCHA ISNT DEVELOPED. That’s a purposeful choice in genius writing, at least in my opinion.

Bkdk is a result of Izuku being uninterested in acknowledging said feelings, and this is shown to be different because of the amount of times he has had that imply a deeper emotion or thought that we are not told. Think black whip, controlling your heart solely surrounding katsuki, “my feelings are gross”, the ear piercing scream when katsuki was kidnapped and the “this was a total loss” line, relaxing into katsuki’s arms after the apology, only coming home because of Katsuki, comparing romantic feelings toga had for him and admiration to ALLMIGHT and not katsuki who was “actually in his life”, I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS.

This is absolutely NOT underdeveloped, this is called SHOW NOT TELL. Horikoshi is so purposeful in what he shows vs what he tells. He tells you that ochako and toga are the same, he tells you that katsuki is worried about Izuku, he tells you that katsuki is there to step in when deku can’t handle it on his own, he tells you that ochako has a crush on Izuku, and he tells you that Katsuki is Izuku’s “closest person”.

But he also SHOWS YOU SO MUCH MORE. Unreliable narration is such a key part of Izuku and his character. Izuku doesn’t understand Izuku as much as the audience doesn’t understand him. It’s why I genuinely think most interpretations of his character are wrong, because you really can’t take him at his word. It’s the same reason no one understood katsuki for the longest time, he was in the same circumstances of a character who is only showed to you, not told.

I know i named so many god damn references so if anyone is curious as to what specifically I’m talking about with what, I’ll gladly show what scene I’m referring to. Apparently I can’t remember a damn thing but this manga anyway.

#I’ll gladly be shouting this to the rooftops no one can shut me up #this was made like a month ago idk if anyone could tell but I just edited it LMAO #bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bnha deku #mha analysis

[ask-monster-men]

Chains and locks

●NSFW, dubcon/noncon, blood, bondage, mockery, sadism

(Featuring kinerick the humans dealer)

Nsfw under the cut

It was dark, damp and cold, harsh chains wrapped and binded your naked limbs together as you awaited what was to come. You quickly shuffled as you heard to door creek open and a high pitch laugher ring out...heart beating fast and head moving rapidly as you tried to see through the blindfold that wrapped tightly around your eyes.

Heavy footsteps moved closer and closer and its as if you could sense the very things giddiness, again you tried to shuffle away until a thick chain that bounded your neck was snatched and pulled towards him.

"Oh come now, I'm not selling you!" It said as if staying with it was any better, a furred and warm hand gripped your thigh tightly, almost digging its nails in bit by bit to see how hard he could press down until you bled. And you did.

"It's so good to see you!" it's hands suddenly cupped your face hard and smoothed your cheeks together, his voice was as if he was talking to a puppy, high pitched and exaggerated

"...where...where am i-" it's hand slammed onto your mouth before you could speak anymore "No! That's impolite! You do not interrupt" it harshly spoke and you instantly tried to back even more into the wall just to get that far away from him

He smiled wide at the fearful look on your face and suddenly his grip was gentle and almost loving...almost...his hand moved back down to your thigh as it started to gently caress and pet you, rubbing circles into your soft plump flesh

"Now now...you see I've been making incredible deals lately, selling so many of your kind that I think I should treat myself to my pri~ze possession" he chuckled as he referred to you as a possession, something of his and you where about to find out what he means by treating himself.

Not 10 minutes had gone by before he was thrusting into your hole, his pace was soft but steady, he kept a harsh grip on your wrists as you writhed in place, he was not an easy take but let's be honest...he's trained you for this moment. Gross sounds that betrayed you spilled out of your mouth as he kept his pace "such a good-...Good little prize you are!" His voice was drawn out and flustered, he had you pinned to the floor by his hands, his body layed ontop of yours as an extra security measure to make sure you where pinned.

"I think- augh...I don't think I'm ever gonna- gonna- sell you" he let out and quickly his pace increased, you could feel your body react violently to it as you know for a fact this sudden harsh pace had brought on blood, oh and he loved the fact that you bled so well for him. Suddenly his hips stalled and with a groan and hushed words in a language your mind couldn't understand you felt yourself being filled with him, he came alot and the consistency was thick and almost chunky.

And that's how he left you on the wet floo,r covered in cum, sweat and your own blood. He locked the door behind himself and you knew you where never getting out of here

#monster x reader #yandere teratophilia #terato #teratophillia #kinerick #yandere

[h-harleybaby]

I would like to request a Elf King!Kyle x Human!Princess!Reader. Reader is Cartman's sister and forbids Kyle from liking her.

Thank you <33

Those are super cute Tbh

I have so many Elf King Kyle x human princess reader requests I decided I’d do one post about it

It’s probably gonna take me a sec to write it but I will gladly <333

Elf King Kyle x Human Princess Reader

• When Elf King Kyle saw you, mans was HEAD OVER HEELS, it was love at first sight and he doesn’t even really believe in that

• When you guys first met on business for a peace treaty between the elves and the humans y'all ended up getting distracted and becoming friends

• He really tried being intimidated but it didn't work at all considering his face was a shade of red and he was sweating the whole time. I mean you were in a similar state so it wasn't as bad for Kyle as it probably would've been

• After a while of talking he found out that honestly, you were only on Cartmans side because he was your brother. And even you had to admit, the man was an annoying shit that sometimes you couldn't deal with

• Y'all ended up bonding over your similar feelings towards your brother

• Ofc your meeting ended up being cut short when your brother kept sending messenger after messenger to come get you because he was bored of waiting for you

• When you got back and he heard from his messengers you best believe he started gagging and said that he'd handle the affairs with the elf kingdom now. He can't have his sister having a crush on Kyle!! That's soooooo gross

• He definitely told Kyle that he's forbidden to see the human princess (you) and that it's not allowed for anyone to have crushes on you because he has the stick of truth and its super weird for him. Why it's weird for him specifically no one will ever know

• Obviously that didn't stop Kyle, why would he listen to him?? It's Cartman after all

• This started secret meetings between you guys, it honestly wasn't that hard to sneak out considering your brother snores like a fucking leaf blower

• The elves caught wind of this because duh, it's their kingdom they should know what's happening in it

• So one night before you left the elf kingdom after one of you and Kyle's secret meetings, some elves kidnapped you

• They didn't hurt you in any way it was almost kinda funny because of how bad of a job they did. They tried blindfolding you... but used really really thin fabric you could see out of

• Anyways, for the most part they just questioned you a lot. They kept asking if you had a crush on the king and in general, were shipping you guys

• To be honest, the elves loved you and just wanted a chance to talk to you. At some point they untied you and took off the blindfold so you guys just had a normal conversation

• They really wanted to get to know the girl that their king was so smitten with, that he would talk about her any and EVERY chance he got

• Cartman was definitely pissed when you got home, how he knew you were gone was beyond you. He kept grumbling about how you "smelled of stupid elves" which was really weird

• Yeah no, turns out he just got one of the humans to spy on you and tell him what they saw. Gee, thanks man :rolling eyes:

• Anyways, the secret meetings continued because who the hell was gonna stop you? Definitely not your brother, and y'alls mom thought it was cute so she wasn't gonna try either

• Soon enough, the meetings started turning into unspoken dates before you guys eventually made it official

• Both of you were so obvious it was almost stupid how neither of y'all realized until your individual knights told you

• Stan is definitely Kyle's wing man, no doubt

• Butters and Kenny are probably yours, which is utter chaos but that's for another time

• Honestly, your brother wasn't happy about this but the elves would totally beat his ass for you so he wasn't gonna say anything about it for once

• Kyle (not so) jokingly calls you his elf queen and it's super sweet

My lil Cartman shimeji was staring at me as I wrote this, he's so dang cute <3333

anyways ignore spelling mistakes, shhhh they are not thereeee

#h harleybaby needs help #harley’s anons <33 #south park x reader #south park x reader headcanons #south park x y/n #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #elf king kyle broflovski x reader #stick of truth x reader #harley’s requests!

[joenotexotic99]

How they are when you have a hangover.

A/n I want to thank you all for the support. It's helps me a lot and I appreciate it so much. Thank you <3

Warnings: fluffff, vomit (nothing wild but just to put it out there) drinking themes, some language.

Masterlist

Eugene roe

-when you came home from drinking he knew from your slurred speech and your extra flirty behavior that you were going to have a nasty hangover. He made you drink lots of water before you went to bed as well as some pain killers and toast in hopes of an easier morning. Yet you woke up with a nasty migraine and nauseous. He's there with you as you slowly get through it. Blocking out the light and helping you rehydrate yourself. Making sure you take another dose of pain medication when its time.

"You don't have to do this you know"

"Yes I do, drink up"

Dick winters

- will get you anything you might need. No second thoughts. Holds back your hair when you are over the toilet. He makes sure you are back safely in bed with a glass of water. He then makes his way to the store getting everything and anything. Pain medication, cold patches for your head, electrolytes, comfort meals, favorite snacks. He makes sure you rest and feel taken care of. So sweet omg.

"I know this sucks but it will be over shortly ok sweetheart"

Bull Randleman

-he's been around the block once or twice. He's not afraid to help. You don't make it to the toilet at one point he goes to clean up without protest. You try to stop him. Making a point on how gross your situation is. He just chuckles and continues. You want to be stubborn with this but you hurt everywhere so you sorta just let him. If you ever feel good enough I feel like he would take you out to breakfast to eat a good warm meel.

"I am the grossest human on the planet right now. You have no need to be here right now"

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that"

Lewis nixon

-lets be honest here, he's hungover too. This is definitely not your first time around. You too are like matches and gasoline. As soon as alcohol comes around, having a hangover is set in stone. You might even have to just sit in nature if it gets bad. you know? He will do his very best though don't worry. He knows very well how to treat hangovers. He has it down to a t. Will pass his wisdom to you. By the end of the day it was like you never drank.

"Holy shit nix I love you"

"I love me to"

"Shut up"

Babe heffron

-He isn't as experienced as the rest of easy company but that doesn't mean he hasn't had a hangover before. He doesn't have the "wisdom" of Lewis but you bet your ass he's going to try his very hardest. He knows the feeling of hangovers and he's well aware that they aren't fun. Will pull your hair back and put a cool rag on your head. Help you relax in the shower when you don't feel as much as a sack of dehydrated shit. Cook a good breakfast and eat with you on the couch.

"Sorry i was a mess today, you shouldn't go through all this effort for me"

"You're stuck with me for the rest of your life, better start getting used to it"

#band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers headcanon #band of brothers x reader #eugene roe #babe heffron #dick winters #bull randleman #lewis nixon #eugene roe x reader #dick winters x reader #bull randleman x reader #lewis nixon x reader #babe heffron x reader

[mobiused]

To be honest the fact we got to the stage where we could agree that boycotting is the right thing to do kinda surprised me cuz I'm so used to people going "but what about the babygirlywirlys feelings🥺🥺 they are just simpleminded feeble little girls who dont know what a big word like BOYCOTT means and theyll think we dont wuv them and will want to kill themsleves,, so we cant do that to them🥺" Obviously the notion that these grown women would be unable to wrap their head around the concept of a boycott being for the greater good is even funnier seeing as Lawsuit Line have organised their own boycott (‼ so awesome!!) of Fab. So yeah they understand what a fucking boycott is and won't take it personally.

Like. if you have been an orbit for a long time you will remember how wuebits spoke and still speak about Choerry's boycott and how it mustve hurt her little feelings... like paying to see a child in a miniskirt moan in your ear and dance provocatively is somehow OK if you say you only paid money to the company that did this her because you........ don't want to upset her..??? (I hope you never have children if this is your mindset regarding safeguarding and welfare of kids.) So yeah I am actually impressed that Orbits have finally fucking finally changed their tune, especially in this day and age where a tweet talking about how gross it is to support children in the industry gets 20k RTs and yet somehow all you guys know the names of these freshly debuted kids and their favorite colors their token animal their mothers maiden name etc etc etc. Are you not embarrassed lol...

And I hope we shame everyone we see who fails to boycott because it *is* embarrassing and it *is* weak, and it *is* putting money in the pockets of criminals and abusers. We can't just say it's okay~ I understand~ because no actually I don't understand how you can be so lacking in self control that its actually harder for you to literally do nothing than to waste money on some junk when you can pirate it anyway. How could you be so pathetic and somehow claim to care about these girls' wellbeing? Like this about people's real lives and real human rights and we need to take it as seriously as the girls deserve.

#loona boycott

[dangermousie]

This is honestly horrifying but what struck me is that the drama went there, that Lady Doc does get marital raped - no way no how would a current drama go there. Not to its FL and not where she gets an ultimate happy ending (with a literal emperor, though not this one, thankfully.)

This is so seriously gross! All he cares about is if she’s a virgin. This is a woman, mind you, who escaped from barbarian captivity. There are plenty of reasons other than her and Emperor Hawt banging that she’d have not to be a virgin, none of them pleasant ones. But he does not even think of anything but his insecurity and his rage. 

And he rapes her even as she fights him the whole way. This is truly horrifying because she’s managed to survive captivity and jail and various other horrible things without being sexually assaulted, but here she is, supposedly the emperor’s favorite and she is worse off than in any of those circumstances (also, there are many reasons I hate Chinless, but the fact that none of the other men who liked her ever went there - not when Emperor Hawt was in a similar situation Chinless was in - being the emperor who knew for a fact she fancied his brother (Chinless just worries about it), not the barbarian chief for whom she was literally the enemy. Nah, they somehow managed not to be rapists, but chinless failed this utterly basic threshold test for not being a horrifying waste of a human.)

And then afterwards, you think it can’t get worse but...he tells her that he now knows she was a virgin so you know, she’s forgiven. AMAZING PLS BURN IN HELL (and if she wasn’t, so what? You guys were not married, you were married to another, just fuck off and die, even if she slept with a platoon during that time, what business is it of yours anyway!)

How reassuring. She totally will go “oh, OK, glad we cleared our little misunderstanding.”

This is so classic abuser talk I am shuddering.

Is he really going “it’s your fault I raped you, I mean what man wouldn’t? It’s all your fault!” PLS DIE

Did he just...did he just...mansplain to her why it was reasonable for him to rape her?

How dare you cry right after the rape, how unreasonable!

Yes, why don’t you just move on ALREADY!

Yes, a normal couple, one of whom has another wife and is a rapist.

Then he takes her hand, uses it to smack himself a couple of times and declares them even...I CAN’T EVEN!!!

Like jeez, it’s been five whole minutes, why are you not over it yet, woman! Oh, and he asks her what she wants and then gets mad when she actually answers. Rapist, abuser and gaslighter trifecta has just joined the chat.

This is AMAZING!!!! She did not give herself to you, you TOOK it from her by force. The very fact that he does not even comprehend this basic fact sums up everything about why this person is a waste of oxygen who should be set on fire. But also, how he STILL views it not as an act of violence against a woman he supposedly loves but a competition against a man he hates? OH MY GOD!!!

And then he’s all OK I had enough and walks off. It’s pretty honest he never says sorry because he is such an utter void he sees nothing to be sorry for; he can’t even see this is a violation. I HATE HIMMMMM

#cdrama #liu shi shi #the imperial doctress

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

Hi August! 🥰 For the GO ask game: 6 and 11?

ill be honest with you all i queued that post in the middle of the night (for me) to answer these in the morning but Well. you can see how that went ANYWAYS HI MARI !

who is your favorite side character?

i mean idk if anathema is a side character considering her importance in season 1 (not being aziraphale or crowley doesnt make you a side character i think) so a true true Side Character would be hmmmmm sandalphon. I KNOW ITS STRANGE but hear me out. he's a weird and gross (derogatory) archangel who has a large potential backing him up and it interests me. also his few lines we hear are surprisingly funny 2 me. war without war. his gross smile. something smells...Evil. THE SOUND OF MUSIC QUOTING. sodom and gomorrah. the STOMACH PUNCH (not in a good way, i do hate him for this). yeah, thats really it. i dont like him much at all actually, he's just There and he makes me Imagine, which is all i can ask for of a side character 🙏

what is (if you read) your favorite type of human au for good omens? (ex. coffee shop au, surgeons au, plant store au)

mmmmm i havent read too many human aus as of yet but there are some ive seen and love, like astonaut crowley/mission control aziraphale...i say truly my answer is "plant shop owner/bookshop owner" because mmmmm you can never go wrong with a good bookshop owner aziraphale. its his calling, man. theres also a delicious dynamnic there of a possible enemies 2 lovers (being rivaling shop owners on whickbur street 👀) and all, so thats WONDERFUL <3 what more can i say? but i also have to ask....does "human (but not really)" count ? im writing one of those currently and using that dynamic i just described but like. thyere Not actually human. its very complicated but they TJINK theyre human when they arent in actuality. so they live their lives believeing this before theyre forced to confront it....mmmm i dont think that counts im so sorry i just wanted to mention the one humanish au i have atm 🤧🤧 but i suppose if i were to qrite a true human au itd 100% be plant owner/bookshop owner. you can never go wrong with it 🥰🥰🥰 UGH THIS GAME IS SO GOOD AND NICE!!!!!!!! thanks for the ask ❤️❤️❤️

#ask game #good omens

[flipping-the-coin]

Bumblebee, how are you holding up? You lost your Sire, found out you had a second one, and got your first Sire back all in a pretty small timeframe. How have you handled that?

I want to make something very clear here. I did not gain another Sire. Orion Pax has not done a fragging thing for me my entire life. The only thing he gives a frag about is Megatron, and he’s shown me that over and over again. If I’m being honest, I really don’t want anything to do with him. He’s a selfish glitch and he’s gross. I mostly deal with him by not dealing with him. 

That being said, Optimus was… Complicated. I didn’t understand why it had to be this way. It felt sudden and rash to me for him to just… give himself up like that. It felt like he just abandoned us all when we could have found some other way. I was stuck on this idea that if he’d just… given us some more time, we could have figured something out. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about it when I was doing my ambassadorial work on Earth. I was angry at him for a long time, you know? I had so many questions and things I just didn’t understand. Why would he leave me so suddenly? Didn’t he know how much I needed him? Why didn’t he tell any of us the truth? Why did he think Orion Pax could be a substitute for him? Why did he have to die while that selfish aft gets to live out his happily ever after? 

But being on Earth, watching my friends, Raf, Jack and Miko grow old and die… I started to kind of get it, at least some of it. Watching them grow old, their bodies slowly start to fail and the life slowly sinking out of their eyes, it reminded me a lot of Optimus towards the end of the war. 

I guess I just didn’t notice how bad he was at the end, because there was just so much going on, and he always was… different.  I can’t remember there ever being a time when Optimus wasn’t in pain in some way or another. It became routine, and in that, I failed to notice when his own frame began to fail him. 

Optimus started to practically fall apart after I killed Megatron. He was lost to his pain more often than he was really with us. He was… dying. Slowly. Right before our optics and only Smokescreen really seemed to notice how bad it was. He tried to tell us. Anyway, seeing the kids go… It helped me understand that Optimus was ready to die, and had been for probably a long time. 

He waited for the right time, when his death would mean something. He pushed through more pain than anyone can imagine so that he could use his life to restore our home, and that is a noble act. My anger faded into respect after I finally understood. It was hard. I still missed him, but that feeling kind of faded over time. 

Honestly, it was easier back on Earth. Cybertron has his image plastered everywhere. You can’t get away from it. But on Earth, Optimus wasn’t… everywhere. In fact, after just a vorn or so, mentions of him by the humans had largely stopped at all, because all who knew him had simply died. Coming home… it was quite the shock to see him just… everywhere. That's been the hardest part, I think. It's easy to not notice what’s missing when you aren’t being reminded all the time of its absence. 

And now, Optimus is back! I won’t lie and say that I’m not happy about it. I am. But now I miss him even more. He’s right there, but scheduling and politics stand in the way of us spending any meaningful time with each other. I still have questions left unanswered. But I also finally have hope that things will get better now. Hopefully my Sire can finally fix some of the problems going on here. I just hope he finds time for me too while he’s doing it.

#transformers prime au #two sides to a coin au #transformers #maccadam #two sides asks #bumblebee responds

[plushii-gutz]

Part 4 of Thorns - may have gotten a little silly here for my own entertainment. Thank you to my lord and savior Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven-way 🤭 you may recognize another character here owned by @bear-cubs-art-things and a new fellow owned by @plantsaredabest

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶

Light has yet to shine outside. The horrible storm had seemed to pass, or in the least, the worst part of it. Viola's powdery blue eyes flickered open, woken by the sound of the creaking floor. Pereskia walked past, carrying a freshly cleaned hoodie. The bowgart stretched her arms and rolled partially off the couch, lazily sitting up with her hands patting against its soft fabrics aimlessly before coming across her glasses. She put them on, blinking a few times to adjust to her returning vision. She hadn't noticed the human kid on the floor, observing her. She looked kind of sticky, red and blue stains on the shirt she wore

"Eh? Never seen someone with glasses before?"

Lily tilted her head. Viola copied her move mockingly.

"Is it the hands? Four arms? It's not unknown among monsters, but I get it. Not a common characteristic on Amber, other than maybe floogulls and Bowhead."

She moved her arms as she spoke, adding a bit of body language to every word.

"You'd think having more fingers would make it easier to count, but no. Can't juggle well, either. They're great for climbing, though. And surgery. Once did a whole amputation on my own."

Lily seemed a bit grossed out at the comment, giving a nasty "bleh!".

"Oh yeah, the medical field is disgusting. Had a mammott come in with an abscess the size of a quarter on the side of his face. The stuff that came out was straight green."

"Ew!"

"Viola!" Pereskia yelled, returning to the living room. She held the now patched-up hoodie Lily had arrived in. The stitching wasn't the best, but it held together - including the blue ears. "You better not be botherin' that kid!"

"I'm not, I'm not. Where's Enya?"

"They're finishing breakfast. If ya want something, I'd recommend hurrying. It's getting cold."

Perry offered the hoodie back to the kid, who happily tossed it back on. With another yawn and a final stretch, Viola followed the barrb to the kitchen. Lily stood behind, cleaning her mind of the disgusting visuals.

Pereskia had made quite the breakfast. Stacks of pancakes, fresh fruit on every plate, syrup spilling onto the tablecloth. Enya was a sticky mess but seemed delighted.

"Wow. You really outdid yourself this morning," Viola commented.

"I might as well clean out the cabinets," Pereskia sighed, cleaning off Lily's plate. "I'll be honest, though, I doubt the new owner of this shop is moving in. The island is a mess."

"Shocker."

"Yeah," Enya chimed in, wiping her face clean. "The next ship will be arriving soon, too. Hopefully, there's enough room for everyone."

"Speaking of which, what's the plan for the kid?"

The kitchen fell silent. Pereskia turned to the table, taking the empty plates and adding them to the sink.

"I've been thinkin' of that all night," She spoke her thoughts. "I thought of making a disguise, but I don't have much to work with anymore. Sold most everything last night."

"I mean, we can look around outside," the bowgart suggested. "If I can find the right stuff, I might be able to throw something together, albeit terribly. Hey Perry, you know how to sew, don't you?"

"Not much - just what my mama taught me. I'm more than willing to learn a couple of things for th' kid, though."

"You seem to know what you're doing. I'll take Enya with me, they know the island better."

Enya agreed to the plan, though it held a bit of hesitation. She wasn't sure if the island's residents had stopped their brutal revolting against her, despite their anger being towards Cecilia. Perry seemed to pick up on her worry like a breeze in the air.

"You make sure to keep Enya safe. You remember the situation we got 'em out of, don'cha?"

"It was yesterday, Pereskia."

"I'm bein' serious."

"So am I."

With an agitated huff, the barrb excused the two. She ordered for them to take the shop exit, though, to keep Lily more hidden. They agreed, leaving Perry behind to resume packing her belongings and a few more things for the kid.

The shop was a mess. The windows had caved under the pressure, now shattered alongside the human's entrance. Pots had fallen over and broken apart, gardening tools laid about. Enya led the way, clearing the glass and making a path for Viola to cross. She thanked them, reaching the outside world. The sight was hardly any different.

Trees with sticky sap had snapped in half, stones tossed about. Buildings had collapsed inwards or fallen, leaving monsters to sit out on the gray island in the cold. Others pulled blankets from the remnants of their homes, warming the weaker. They walked along what remained of a stone path, taking in the state of the land.

"Viola!" A familiar voice called. "Over here!"

It was Jaiden, standing near a destroyed house with Baloola reaching inside. She can't seem to grab whatever it is she needs. Dragging Enya, they rushed over.

"She's trapped! We can't get her out!"

"Who? What?"

"Tabby! My cousin! She can't breathe in there!"

"Alright," Viola kept her cool, taking action. "Jaiden, Baloola, you hold up the wreckage best you can. I'm not short, but I'm small enough to fit in. Enya, you go back to Perry's and get the medical kit."

"But we just-"

"Go!"

"Ok."

The two sisters held up either end of the collapsed house. Viola crouched down, barely able to squeeze into the tight space. It's a claustrophobic hell, suffocating with jagged wooden spiked poking from every angle. Her arms pushed aside rubble, inching her forward until she found a blue furred hand. She used her horns to move aside anything hanging, making the monster more visible. She was crushed but alive. With a firm grasp on both of their hands, Viola pulled Tabby from the unseen debris that trapped her. She moved back carefully, hoping nothing was being pulled or broken.

The outside light began to seep in. Viola freed her legs and hind arms, only to find herself stuck with her horn caught onto something.

"Are you ok?" Baloola asked. "Why'd you stop moving? C'mon, it's cool out here!"

"It's.. hold on."

The bowgart looked around, taking a rag and wrapping it around one of the many broken wooden boards. She bit onto it, put her legs against the ground, and began to rip both herself and Tabby out of the wreckage. With a sharp yell of pain, Viola tore her horn off in a harsh jerk and snapped free. The Sooza is rested on the ground, Enya standing prepared.

"Holy shit, your horn!" Jaiden worried, helping Viola to her feet.

"It's fine - Enya, the kit."

"Right h-here!"

Viola got to work, having Enya support the patient upwards to make breathing a bit easier. Tabby jolted awake, tense. The two held her down, trying to keep her still.

"Tabby - listen to me, Tabby. You got caught in a collapsing building, and you're in a state of shock. You're riddled with adrenaline and can't recognize pain."

"Pain, I'm not in pain! There's no pain. Let me go!"

Viola moved back, revealing a horribly broken leg. Tabby stared for a long time, mortified. It was enough for her to allow the doctor to get to work.

"It's a compound fracture. We need to get them to a hospital, this requires surgery for a fix. I can suture other open wounds, but this will need something I don't have."

"How do we get her there?" Baloola asked. "Will she be ok?"

"Next ship," Enya answered. "It should be here soon. They might have stuff to help her on board, too!"

Viola wrapped the wounds as much as she could, biting the excess bandages off and keeping it tight.

"Enya, do you have any updates on when the ship will arrive?"

"Uh - I-I'd give it another 30 minutes?"

"Alright, that's not too bad. Keep them off the leg until the ship arrives. I'll try and get someone on board to bring out a stretcher. Until then, I've done all I can."

Viola took a step back to make sure her words were true. Baloola had dropped down, giving Tabby a strong hug that surprisingly didn't seem to hurt. Must be stable enough.

"All I can do," She echoed. Her attention turned to the fallen house, poking her head back in and finding the missing horn. A couple of harsh tugs, and she yanked it out. Gross, but It will come in handy. She checked around, grabbing a piece of wood that was a relatively good match of colors and taking it too.

"Hey, Viola," Jaiden said in a soft tone, pulling her friend aside. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do. Quite literally, actually. If I had the right stuff, your cousin would be doing backflips in minutes, but I digress - you're welcome."

"Heh. Hey, would you be up to hanging out? As a thank you."

"Tabby's bone is poking from her leg, and you're asking someone you've known for a whole hour if they want to go out?"

The pompom shrugged. Viola quirked an eyebrow, looking Jaiden up and down.

"You're weird. I'm down."

"Wait, really? Sweet! Uh - you happen to be going to Plant Island?"

"Yep."

"Alright, cool! I'll be making plans. Do you want my number?"

Enya looked to Baloola, to Jaiden, then back to Baloola. They share an expression that was barely readable to anyone other than themselves. They pull the purple monsters apart, Viola needing to return to Pereskia's as soon as possible. Before they reached her shop, Enya is able to find a couple of blue blankets. This should help!

Inside, Perry had set up the sewing machine. Thread twisted along her fingers as she looked over instructions, printed on old paper that had browned over the years. Lily wore one of the barrb's old coats, laughing at the oversized sleeves and flapping her arms. As stressed as Perry was, she couldn't help but smile. How sweet of a child she was gifted.

"Did ya find anything useful? Oh - honey, your horn.."

"I know, don't rub it in. I have an idea, though."

Enya laid the fabrics down as Viola rolled out their plan. Enya and Pereskia were tasked to work on making a pair of extra arms, as well as two sets of matching gloves and one pair of slippers. While they were doing such, she planned on carving the block of wood to match her other horn.

"So we're making her into a bowgart?" Enya asked.

"Yep."

"Now hold on," Perry stepped in. "Why not a barrb? Or.. a Flowah, maybe. Just makin' suggestions."

"Well, we don't have the right colors, and I feel that may be a bit harder to do. For our level, at least."

"Your horns are far lighter than a normal Bowgarts. Wouldn't that throw others off as well?"

"Wouldn't putting thorns on her be uncomfortable?"

Enya had to split them up. After a bit of reasonable arguing, they agree to do the bowgart disguise. It was easier and involved the materials they already had. Work began on the arms, Viola carving away at both the wooden block and her horn, making them smaller to match Lily's size. Perry soon learned that she had quite the knack for sewing. She adapted quickly to the loud machine and tedious work of thread and patterns, allowing Enya to branch off and work on the slippers. Lily stood tall for the measuring and fitting. Soon enough, their work was finished. Viola added the last part: the headband with curled horns.

"Not bad," she praised herself.

Lily shook her head, shaking the horns and having them clink against one another. They were far from stable, but a couple more drops of hot glue did the trick. She seemed to find the whole outfit more silly than serious, but whatever made her happy made Perry happy, too.

"We really need to go," Enya warned. "The ship is probably about to leave."

With a collective agreement, the four monsters ushered out the door. Perry dropped her hat on Lily, hiding her rosy face behind it, and kept her close as they were finally able to leave.

Jaiden stood near the islands edge, seemingly waiting for Viola. They chattered as they walked on board, the rare monster not questioning who the monsterling was once. Though annoyed, Pereskia followed behind with the kids hand in hers.

"Wait.. Enya?" She turned back. "Are you comin'?"

The kayna stood behind, accompanied by a group of fire monsters offering her their apologies. They had plenty of time to recognize their mistakes and their anger. They were remorseful for their actions, wishing deeply for a second chance.

"I think.. I think I'll stay here."

Their warm amber eyes met Perry's.

"Maybe Amber Island has a chance. We'll need a leader to help rebuild it, won't we?"

Viola looked back at Enya, putting together her expression with ease. She gave a nod of approval, almost looking proud of them.

"Well, hun.. I'll be sure to send ya letters," Pereskia promised. "I wish you the best of luck."

As the ship began to move, the two monsters waved their goodbyes as the island was left in caring hands. Another flame that will never be smothered, and a new flame that only now began to grow.

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶

Plant Island had a far less disastrous storm, though this didn't seem to surprise anyone. With Viola's help, Tabby was taken into Plant Island Hospital minutes within arrival. Baloola chose to stay by the sooza's side, bidding the group farewell as they left for their homes. Pereskia carried Lily with the kids head on her shoulder, worried of being singled out by Jaiden. Even with the worry, the walk was calm.

"I don't live too far from the hospital. Moved closer since I worked there, made the drive easier, if at all. I guess it's just for convenience now."

"Being a doctor must have been crazy. I've seen and heard the stupid stuff my family gets into. Can't imagine having to work with it every day."

Viola reached into her scarf, pulling her phone from it as it played its default song.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Jaiden asked.

"The scarf has pockets," Viola answered plainly, accepting the call. A bit of talking and planning goes by before the cell is tucked away once more.

"I have to stop by a patients house. Might be a while until I'm bale to get back."

"Didn't you say your licenses were suspended or something?"

"Oh hey, my house is right there to the left! Here, Perry, these are the keys in. How about you make yourself at home while I go deal with this boring work stuff. Jaiden, you said the house you're staying at is a little farther down?"

"Uh - yeah, but -"

"How about I walk you home? I'll meet up with you in a little while, yeah?"

Though confused, Jaiden nodded and went along with it. Viola left her behind, mumbling every annoyance she had in her head as she left to the castle hidden deep within the woods.

Many hours passed before Jaiden had even gotten so much as a text from the lilac-furred monster, updating her that the bowgart was on her way. She couldn't help but be a little upset, yet her excitement pushed through it. She waited eagerly at the door, waiting for the expected knocks. The wait wasn't long, Viola arriving quickly.

"Hey!" She said, panting. "Sorry about that. Got a little caught up in a.. situation with the patients."

"It's fine," Jaiden assured her. "Come on in! I wanna show you something. And uh, don't mind the mess - this is Baloola's place, not mine. She likes her colors."

The interior is as weird as the exterior. It was overly colorful, white walls covered in a sprinkle-like pattern and plenty of decorative paintings of sweet treats and family photo's. Rainbow lights hung from the ceiling, confetti covering the floor and sticking to their fur as they walked to the pompom's room. It was different than the rest of the home, having warmer and darker colors and cool air. A table sat near the back, covered in material and an abundance of sewing supplies, and a lazily decorated bed with gray and purple sheets.

"So," Jaiden began, "I didn't really make any exact plans. Just playing it by ear, you know? But I do have a question."

"Shoot."

"Wanna look awesome?"

Jaiden opened her closet, revealing rows upon rows of hand-made jackets, shirts, pants, everything. Only a few contained tags, indicating they were store-bought. Viola looked through, inspecting the amount of detail and care put into each.

"Wow.. did you make these?"

"Yep. Started as a way to pass the time and pay less. Made a few things for family and friends. Years of practice later, I think I'm pretty good at it."

"Well, this would have been useful earlier."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Do you have anything for four-armed monsters?"

"Oh yeah, plenty."

They laid out the many options, Viola picking what she will and won't wear. There wasn't a particular theme, just having fun.

"Your fur color goes well with most of these if you ask me. I think the easiest way to start is with a white crop-top and a black leather jacket - it's an easy kill."

"I'm not really looking into killing any more monsters."

"What?"

"I'll take the jacket."

The rare monster laughed to herself, setting the items aside for the other to slip into. Viola was weird, but she was digging it.

"Alright. How do you feel about stupidly ragged pants?"

"Not happening."

"Shorts?"

"Depends. Chain?"

"Yep."

"Deal. Give me a belt as well."

"Your words are my command."

Another item was added. Viola debated on fingerless gloves, still unsure of how all-out she was going. She wasn't one to dress up, not knowing what goes good with what. In the end, Jaiden assured her that it shouldn't and likely wouldn't matter. All that matters is whether or not Viola enjoyed it.

"Your lashes are naturally glorious," she commented, "but if you're up to it, how about some make-up? Just extend things a bit more, yeah?"

The bowgart agreed, letting Jaiden work her magic. A bit of eyeshadow, a bit of mascara. She added a simple spiked choker around Viola's neck to bring more silver to the outfit, letting her get a look in the mirror.

"Damn. That explains my social media following."

"You look great! Shit, I even impressed myself."

Jaiden put together her own outfit, relatively the same as Viola's, with the shorts swapped out for a red plaid skirt and matching red choker with a silver heart instead of spikes. She also debated on swapping out the top as well, only deciding against it moments before leaving.

"Where to first? You're the one who asked me on a date," Viola teased.

"It's not a date!" Jaiden snapped back, shaking herself clean of the statement. "Ahem. I really appreciated your help back there with Tabby, and I was thinking we could go somewhere to just have fun. Initially, I planned on going to Barry's because it's karaoke night and the drinks are cheap, but I thought it was a bit.. weird. I mean, you're a doctor! Aren't you supposed to be against drinking? If I'm being honest, I kind of rushed asking you."

"Oh, I could tell. About the drinking, It's not that we're against it. It's all about moderation and not waking up in someone's backyard the next day, if at all. I'm personally a bit indifferent on it, but as a professional, I can easily push it aside. I'd be lying if I said I haven't gotten tipsy myself."

"So.. Barry's later tonight? Until then, if you want, we can stop by the arcade nearby. Their pizza is the best!"

"Sounds good to me. I don't have a lot of cash on me, though."

"Never said you'd need it."

"But-"

"Nuh-uh."

Viola chose not to argue, though she still planned on using a bit of her own money.

The arcade, titled "Pixel Playground," seemed surprisingly lively inside with monsters young and old. The front half of the building was nothing but the classic retro games and machines that were to be expected, the back having the iconic white plastic folding tables and chairs and holding a birthday party. They did pick-up orders as well, which Jaiden began to put in as Viola went to purchase some tokens. The tokens were an old, almost rusty looking silver, stamped with the arcades mascot.

"The pizza will be another 30 minutes 'cause of the party, but at least that gives us time to break some joysticks," Jaiden joked.

"Hell yeah. I got us 20 tokens each, so that should be enough to keep us entertained."

Viola scanned over the many games with Jaiden by her side, finding a particularly dusty one to play. It was a fighting game with fuzzy speakers and a chipped screen. Its name and logo were faded, barely able to read 'Critter Catastrophe!'

"Sweet Galvana, I remember playing this all the time!" She praised.

"Critter catastrophe: the perfect game for 10 year old monsterlings."

"I was 12, actually."

"Oh yes, my bad. Wanna play a round?"

They each slip in a coin, the screen going black and booting up the character select. Viola chose the same critter she had when she was younger, the Cold Island bun, and Jaiden selected the Plant Island bird. A sense of nostalgia washed over her as her mind moved back to older times.

She remembered how he always chose the Earth Island critter because of its firey abilities, always having the advantage over her snowy creatures. She only ever chose it because it was where she lived - Cold Island.

"You're cheating!" She'd accuse.

"Nope," he would answer, "Just better at the game than you!"

Viola would get mad, even more so when he'd ruffle her hair afterward and take his winning tickets. He'd promise to get her a soda, finally getting her mood back up to continue searching for other games to play. They would try the claw machine, only once ever winning something. They would climb around in the play place, making friends with whatever monsters were there. After the day had passed, they left before it got too dark. He'd offer her his gloves, even when she brought her own. It was always so cold..

"Viola? Hey, the game's over."

The bowgart blinked a few times, having to remember and recognize where she was.

"Oh. Shit. Sorry, I sort of blanked out."

"You also kicked my ass in this game! How about another round?"

Viola nodded in agreement with a small grin, starting up another match. They spent the remaining time swapping between games and giving a few claw machines a chance and failing. They took the pizza out to the sidewalk, enjoying it in all its unhealthy glory and debating their next stop. It was around noon now, so it would probably be smart to begin their walk to Barry's. They did such, knowing it would likely be crowded if they were to arrive late.

The front of the building had its iconic green and purple neon lights, displaying its name proudly behind a glass barrier. The two walked in, taking a seat on the barstools and being introduced to a drumpler named Lars. He asked what they would like to start off their night. Simple margaritas will do! They came in at a good time, getting their drinks before a plentiful of monsters began to pour in.

The stage is taken on by other Plant Island residents, the music filling the room and their voices with joy. All singing is good singing if it was joyous, is it not? Viola remembered the tales of how monsters were made to sing a song in unity, praising the island and the Celestials. Sometimes, it was just for fun.

"Hey, you should go up there," Jaiden nudged Viola's side.

"I don't know.. I'm not exactly the most vocal of monsters."

"Neither was I, but it's nothing a bit of practice can't help with. And drinks, of course."

"Sure, sure."

"Hey, we all have our ways. Lars! Hey, give me something a little stronger, bud!"

The drumpler took their empty cups, bringing them back the stronger drinks they desired.

"Try an' be careful with these, ladies," his coarse voice jokingly warned, snickering.

The rare monster downed hers in seconds, sitting up and requesting a turn. Viola sat back, watching as her friend took the stage and began to sing. The song sounded familiar, perhaps something from a cartoon she had watched in her younger days. It was clear she knew the song by heart. Jaiden had quite the vocals, definitely experienced. Or perhaps it was natural? It didn't matter - it was lovely. She seemed to be enjoying herself, too, adding a bit more movement to every lyric. She finished with open arms, accepting the crowds applause and returning to Viola's side.

"I'm a bit of a celebrity here," she laughed.

"I can see why. I might need a few more of these before I get up there," the bowgart said, shaking her now empty glass.

"Whatever helps you find your voice!"

With a bit of alcohol and a lot of encouragement, Viola agreed to the challenge. They pondered on what song to choose, what kind of music. Should it match her appearance or be the polar opposite for the sake of comedy?

"Just remember what I said earlier: it shouldn't matter what others think. Just do what feels right."

Viola nodded, leaving to the stage after finalizing her decision. Her worry shot up at the many eyes, only being drowned out by the first few beats kicking in through the speakers. She took a deep breath, facing this obstacle the same way she had every other. Soon, she felt nothing in the room but herself and the music. As it went on, a sense of accomplishment seeped into her blood. She felt.. proud? It was hard to tell - it's been a while since she had to really think about it rather than accept it at face value.

Viola twirled the microphones wire in her hands as she sung her song, giving most every monster a glance of the eye and particularly Jaiden, who voiced their support from the barstool. Viola wasn't one to show off, but for once, she held the stage in a positive light. The air felt clear as day and carried every lyric with ease, bringing the bar the show of a lifetime. Any anxiety she held had washed out into the night. Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was Jaiden. Why does it matter? She wasn't seen in this moment as any of the negative things she had done. She was just another singing monster - and seemingly a good one at that! She was digging the attention, really.

She finished her song with a bow, passing the mic off for the next monster and returning to her friends side. The pompom slid over a couple of waters, making sure both of them would be at least a little sober before their leave.

"Damn, Viola. Didn't know you liked karaoke that much!"

"I don't," she chuckled with a shrug. "That's the first time I've done anything like this since high school."

"Shit, really? Dear Galvana, my high school years were spent blowing shit up behind a Leafy's!"

The two chattered back and forth, Viola seeming to drift more towards present stories rather than the past. She learns of Jaidens parents, an epic pompom and a rare mammot, who weren't particularly strict with what she did but disapproved of her hobbies. Viola spoke of her work in Plant Island Hospital, the many wild patients she has had to deal with in the past and the ones she deals with now.

"I can't go into much detail about them, but this guy has maybe ten monsterlings? All in one house. They're the ones I had to check in on earlier. Don't get me wrong, they're well behaved, but he's really young and it's a huge responsibility. Not that I have a kid of my own."

"What about the kid you watched over on the ship? The bowgart - I thought she was yours."

"Eh. Well, sort of, but she isn't mine, she's Perry's. I just keep her from.. getting sick."

"Oh. By the way, are you and Perry like a thing?"

"Oh no, not at all. It's a long story. She hates me, but she lives with me. That's all you really need to know."

"Ah, gotcha."

From the corner of her eye, Viola could pick out a familiar face within the crowd, growing closer. She could recognize that deep colored coat of fur anywhere.

"Holy shit. Hey, Blue!" She called out.

"Viola, hey! It's - it's been a while!"

"Damn right, it has. Get over here!"

The bowgart took a seat with the rest, happy to reunite with an old friend.

"Wow, you look.."

"Different, I know. I'm trying something new - Jaiden made most of this, actually."

Jaiden gave a small "yup" to the words, seeming a bit distant.

"It's - uh, I think it's nice! it looks good. Really good. It suits you." Blue stammered. Viola couldn't help but pick up on something she admittedly didn't expect.

"I didn't know you drank," she changed the subject.

"Oh, I'm not here for the drinks - Twig is."

It wasn't long until the aforementioned monster made his presence clear. Seems to be somewhat known around these parts.

"Heh, that's Twig, alright. How about you? Haven't been able to give you a check-up either."

"Well, not much, really. I was able to visit Cemila not too long ago for her birthday! She and Indigo are doing well, too. As for me, I'd say im doing alright. Per usual, Twig got himself in another scuffle, so i had to get him patched up. I noticed you were gone.. Did something happen? If - if you want to tell me, of course."

"Long story. My medical license aren't suspended or anything, and there's a chance I'll be back at the hospital soon enough, but I have a while until they figure it out. I don't think I can go into detail. Legally, at least."

Blue nodded along as Viola spoke, adding in his own commentary occasionally. It was fun to catch up, nerding out on random topics along the way. Twig took a seat on the other side of Blue, chiming in now and then to reinforce he was present. There was a bit of hostility at first, but he seemed to mellow out quickly with a couple of drinks. The deep blue bowgart had a hard time speaking to either, feeling a bit overwhelmed and an obvious increase in stuttering. The two wouldn't admit to it, but they found it hilarious.

"Oh no," Jaiden spoke up, lowering her head to the counter.

"What?"

Another monster seemed to be walking closer to the group - a pompom, to be exact. She wore a long blue tie, matching the blue marking of its eyes. Instead of the deep orange and yellow markings most pompoms had, it was more red. Along with this, her abdominal area had a unique white coloration to it.

"There's this one pomily member - we don't really talk about her much, she's.. we don't really know. It's kind of like the case with Baloola where we aren't sure if it's a pompom or a whole other species. She's.. weird. Her name is Creature."

The monster reached the bar, practically knocking Jaiden from her spot and taking it.

"Hey," it spoke, trying to hold a grin.

"Not going to happen," Viola hissed, turning her attention to the bar.

"Oh come on, pooki- Please! I meant please. I said please."

"She's not interested," Blue sat up.

Creature hopped from her stool, staring right into Blue's eyes. They didn't break the stare until she was mere feet away from him.

"Uh.. what's going on?"

"I'm so sorry, Viola," Jaiden sighed with embarrassment, hiding her face in her palms.

Creature dropped onto all fours, chasing after Blue and barking up a storm. Viola squinted, watching the chase circle the entirety of the room and into the back. It doesn't seem as though any actual harm was done, but annoyance was a different story. Tables fell over, and many drinks were spilled. Twig ran behind, cussing and threatening the whole time until Creature finally stopped and fled to the door.

"..Jaiden? What the fuck?"

"Oh my god. I don't know which one, but oh my god. Look, if you want to call it a night, I can walk you back to your house."

"Hey, hey, it's alright," Viola assured her friend. "It's nothing new. You'd he surprised how much attention lavender fur can get you. Besides, I'm dressed like.. this. Not to toot my own horn, but I feel awesome."

Jaidens mood seemed to change with these words, muffled laughter coming from her.

"Hehe.. you do look pretty great."

"Heh.. how about we go get some fresh air? It's getting weird in here."

Viola gave Lars a 20 dollar tip, leaving from the front door and feeling cold winds brush through her fur. Blue and Twig followed behind, cleaning themselves of spilled drinks and other sticky residue.. Gross.

"Well.. I would say that was new, but you never know in the monster world," Blue chuckled awkwardly. Twig picked a few things from his friends hair, dusting him off.

"Yeah, I'm done being out and about for tha' night. I think that thing bit me."

"Oh, it definitely bit me."

"Can we go home?"

"Yeah.."

"Hey," Viola walked over. "It was good seeing you again. My schedule is probably going to be really open, so.. you know where to find me."

The other bowgart nodded, glad to know an old friend was back.

"Ahem," Twig brought the attention back to himself. "Home?"

"Ok, alright - let's go."

As the two began to leave, the taller stood back for a bit longer.

"So. That was fun and all, but uh.. just lay off the Blue talk. How 'bout it, doll?"

Viola's smile flattened immediately. She rolled her eyes with an agitated sigh.

"Oh, please. If Blue liked you so much, he's more than capable of leaving my side for yours."

Viola grabbed onto the leaves of Twigs head, pulling him down to her level.

"And don't call me doll.. Alright?"

She let go, the shrubb jerking himself back and shaking himself off. His mind boiled with every horrible thing he could do, but Blue's presence cooled him off as he caught up.

"Wow, drama alert!" Jaiden laughed.

"They love each other. I just keep him on his toes so he'll make a move sooner."

"Wow. You're insane, you know that?"

"I do. So, still need a walk home?"

The pompom smiled, putting her hands into her pocket as they made the trip back home. They joked and teased, agreeing to keep in touch. Viola thanked her for the encouragement, though she wasn't sure how often she would show off again. Jaiden thanked her back for being a friend, as well as a huge help.

"By the way, do you need this back?" The bowgart asked, tugging at the choker around her neck.

"Nah. It looks good on you."

The sun lowered slowly over the distant buildings and mountains, the lights of the surrounding streets illuminating the sidewalk in a cool teal. Cars sped pass. Critters began to sing. The song never left - it only changed.

#fanfiction #thorns msm #msm oc #fallen stars msm #writing a characters outfit was way more fun than it should be #im cringe but im free #my singing monsters #msm #msm au

[bewilderedbuck]

u see my hate towards dxton wouldn’t exist this much if they were so awful towards jaren cuz one one thing is hating ben but another is mocking his appearance because comments like “devi keeps getting all this hot love interests to be end up w that ugly man” like i get you all put looks over reasoning but let’s be decent human beings. jaren does nothing to be insulted this way and maitreyi will hate them all.

yeahhh no i get you 100%. there are so many things that diehard d*xtons say that......just rub me the wrong way and feel very gross lmfao. i don't really go out looking for their posts but every now and then i'll come across something in the nhie tag that is just. either braindead or straight up wrong or they just sound like a straight up asshole. and like to be fair i'll be the first to admit i'm not entirely an innocent party bc i have posted my fair share of mean things before but like!!!! idk the difference i see with a lot of benvi shippers vs d*xton shippers is like.....a lot of us genuinely like paxton as a character, even love him, and we love the arc he's had!!! not to be all "blah blah media literacy blah blah" but we don't willfully misinterpret his actions in the show, especially his negative actions, as being "abusive" or "toxic" or whatever just because he reacted like a normal teenager would. we don't hate on the actor for his looks - the only comment on his appearance i'll make is that he is visibly much older than maitreyi - because he is older, and i definitely think they should have cast a younger actor to play paxton, but that's not a dig at darren's appearance bc he's still very much conventionally attractive, it's just that he's, well, 32 as opposed to maitreyi's 21 and jaren's 22.

also like, they act as if jaren isn't attractive which confuses me so much? i may not be into men as a whole but even i can see that he's also a conventionally attractive guy. hot, cute, sexy, whatever you wanna say - he is all of those things! and so is darren! i don't care if you're trying to "defend your ship" or whatever (a ship that has effectively sunk at least as of 3x10 and, if we're being honest, earlier than that), you leave people's appearances out of it lol.

i think d*xton was cute, when they were together. i think they were a sweet short-term high school relationship. i think devi needed to explore that relationship with him in order to let herself fully move past that fantasy she had. i don't hate the ship itself - i just really very strongly dislike a majority of its shippers, for many many many reasons, the ben and jaren bashing just being one of them

#sorry for going off again <3 it will continue to happen !!!! #also again not tagging this anti d*xton bc when i do they yell at me bc they refuse to blacklist the anti tag #and then i get sent a bunch of anon hate lol which. is FINE i anticipate it whenever i start talking about nhie #cant wait for the 'david is a racist nickname' anons i'll get after i post devi vs david s4 edition <3 #also if ur seeing this and ur a d*xton please just Block Me for both of our sakes #nhie #asks #anonymous

[goingrampant]

The Boys #2 notes: Pages 3-4, 8-9

As page 3 starts, we have a moment with Wee Hughie crying on the bench and Billy Butcher looking at him with concern, and it looks like there might actually be some genuine empathy featured front and center. Wee Hughie is emotionally distraught at the loss of a loved one, and Butcher recognizes this and decides to give him some space. It's not a big challenge to traditional masculinity, but it allows for two whole panels of Wee Hughie's honest grief before getting back to toxic masculinity.

The third panel is only mostly about Wee Hughie's grief. It starts to transition into something to reassure the immature frat boys reading that this isn't about respecting men feeling emotional pain and instead about toxic masculine domination.

Discussion of a rape joke below the cut:

I literally just stared at this comic in disgust for a while before I could muster the resolve to write about it. Butcher lures Wee Hughie to the cause by demonstrating his manly domination through rape by proxy, using his dog as an extension of himself, making Terror rape another dog. It's tied into the fascist theme of opposing societal degeneracy, viewing everything through the lens of conflict and then mastering weakness through sexual domination.

While Wee Hughie is trying to grieve, his sobs are interrupted by a Shih Tzu's annoying yipping. The Shih Tzu is used to illustrate degeneracy, an offense to these men's sensibilities. Though this Shih Tzu is poorly trained, they hate it just for its breed, which they look down on (Butcher: "Horrible little things;" Wee Hughie: "I hate those wee bastards..."), as opposed to Terror the bulldog. Dog breeding is an application of eugenics, and they view the whole Shih Tzu breed as bad--the art style portrays it as especially gross--compared to the bulldog, portrayed as cute and lovable. That's a little fascist.

This Shih Tzu is portrayed homophobically as a male figure that has degenerated into femininity as illustrative of his lack of moral substance. He's named Benjamin--like he should be a proud, strong man-like dog--but is bred to be a fancy little dog meant for warming laps and looking nice, like a bitch. (No, not a pun; that's just what the word means in both contexts.) He looks ill-groomed and has fur collected into a little pink bow, and his owner--a little old lady--praises him for pooping in the middle of the road, totally ignorant of how poorly she's trained him, and has no intent of cleaning up after him. We live in a society, amirite.

So, because Benjamin is degenerate, Butcher tells Terror, "Fuck it." The dog looks cute (?) and, otherwise, like the opposite of Benjamin. Terror's colors are bright. He looks cheery. He's a properly masculine man dog.

There's a cut away from the plotline for pages 5-7, which I'll cover in the next post. For page 8, we come right back to Terror raping Benjamin with a panel overtly depicting the two of them. Terror has his eyes rolled back in pleasure, while Benjamin screams. Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck is wrong with everyone involved in the production of this comic?

This isn't framed as horrific at all. This is framed as good fun, showing the degenerate portion of society what's what. Terror and Benjamin, though dogs, are somewhat anthropomorphized into a traditionally masculine man raping a degenerate feminized man to show the world what power looks like. These are hellish far-right politics on display. Fascism.

The little old woman hits Terror with her purse, trying to rescue her dog, but she is also part of the degeneracy and can't affect the truly masculine man-dog. Meanwhile, Benjamin yips in a distortion of his annoying yips, now like the "bitch" in a porn scene, played up to frame the masculine man-dog as especially masculine. Wee Hughie loves this, and it cheers him up (you know, from his moment of genuine human emotion) and endears him to Butcher.

Wee Hughie grins like trollface. He looks absolutely delighted at the spectacle taking place. A random man in the background also finds it amusing, laughing in delight, like that's the first good thing he's experienced all day. Butcher looks smug, like he's proud to uplift the world. Through rape.

Finally, Butcher leads Wee Hughie on a walk through the park and calls for Terror to join them. The old woman sadly collects her dazed dog as Terror, Butcher, and Wee Hughie casually stroll away. As an interesting detail, we can fully see Terror's testicles to emphasize his manliness. The dog then frames the two men as especially manly men in a degenerate world. Delighted, Wee Hughie shakes Butcher's hand, happy to have made a new friend.

I kind of just want to slap Garth Ennis across the face.

Don't trust men who like this comic.

I've seen people defend the comic by saying you're not supposed to like Butcher that much, that he's supposed to be a piece of shit, etc. That's not what I see here. He's framed as toxically masculine Mary Poppins, making the world better through fun chaos. From rape. It uplifts the worst parts of humanity, framing it as making the world better--like a fascist work.

The show is better. It unfortunately does nod to this scene through Butcher giving Terror a dog toy representing his enemy, Homelander, telling him to "fuck it," and then we hear rhythmic squeaking. It's still a rape joke, but it's much less nasty and doesn't tie in such fascist themes of macho men conquering degeneracy.

#the boys notes #the boys comics #the boys #rape culture #rape jokes #toxic masculinity #sus fashy content #homophobia #fuck this comic

[ars0nism]

okay, final post on this. my thing with terfs isnt the terfs. im 18, ive been through a lot, i can handle a couple of terfs on my page. what bothers me is the young people, especially young girls & transmascs, that fall into the terf rabbithole on accident.

SO.

heres my quick & easy guide on how i personally check for terfs. PLEASE check for these signs. to protect yourself. ofc not all things immediately mean terf, but this is my personal checklist

rad and or fem in the url (IMMEDIATE red flag)

labrys lesbian flag (somewhat of a red flag, could be innocent young lesbian roped into it. if theyre an adult its a red flag)

if you click on the search icon it will show a bunch of commonly used tags. look at the tags. common tags wpuld be radfem, radical feminism, terfism, gender critical etc

look at where they reblog from. who theyre following if its public. what posts they like if thats public. look at the bios of these. if the terf doesnt have a bio and is trying to be stealthy, oftentimes the people they agree with are open about it. block both while youre at it

queer slur discourse (also done outside of terf circles but far more common among terfs, especially coupled with the "not queer, im lesbian" stuff (though thats understandable and not inherently terfy) and in combination with other red flags)

exclusionism (not inherently terfy but still a good point to look out for)

fixation on wombs and vulvas (immediate red flag no one but terfs is that obsessed with their reproductive organs)

the "LGB" community, or even the "remove the L" because they dont want to associate with gay & bi people

really big hatred of the concept of "genital preference". sexuality is only about genitals to them.

intense man hatred. they hate men so much. (also not an immediate red flag because yeah some of it is warranted but you can tell the difference between joking about trauma/standing up against the patriarchy and straight up... being a terf)

the term "ssa". stands for same sex attraction. (pretty big one i think. i personally have only heard it from terfs.)

febfem. bisexuals who only date women. (also one i didnt know about until like half an hour ago. also a big one)

this is one specific to the current time and might be obsolete soon but if theyre vocal amber heard supporters. those are ALL terfs.

terfs are also often swerfs. hating on sex workers (not the system, the system is fucked and we should recognize it) is terfy !

they like to refer to us (trans people) as a cult. which, to be honest, after this experience, im more likely to call them a cult. (if a terf disagrees with you, get ready for closing anon & gross bullshit in your notes. we have mutual circles, they have them too)

and of course green flags for trans people & trans allies, if they have these the odds of it being a terf are. a lot smaller

pronouns in bio

some variation of lgbtq+

following trans blogs

inclusive

mature fucking human being

and if you're in doubt whether or not its a terf, its better to block an innocent person than to interact with a terf, id say. odds are the innocent person doesnt care.

BUT!

let's say you said something they didn't like and now your post is circling in their shitty little group chat. what then? my suggestion would be to

CLOSE ANON ASKS. once their cult has found your page and realizes you post about trans things, or worse, are trans, they will harass you. anon gives a lot of confidence to send death threats. dont let them.

Block all of them. No, it's not gonna stop new ones from harassing you in their place, but it does make for a pretty nice blocklist.

If you need to, don't hesitate to step away from tumblr for a while. Not everyone can handle harassment, and it's okay to step away if it's too much.

Remember you're worth so much more than any of these terfs. Remember being trans is something to be proud of, remember you are loved, and most importantly, remember they're just terfs on the internet. laugh at them. make fun of them. they may say shitty things, but they can't actually hurt you. (anything that can hurt you, like doxxing, is illegal. get law enforcement if possible if you think you're in actual physical danger)

Best of all is to ignore it. Don't keep talking about it ("take your own advice" im working on it). it's not fun to harass someone who just ignores you.

If you really can't cope, it's okay to close your blog. You don't have to stay. Make a new blog. Only tell your mutuals.

(also, side note, i have a blocklist filled with terfs. i am absolutely down to share this blocklist with you, if you want somewhere to get started)

#feel free to add onto the checklist tbh if you have any other good things #i focus mostly on easy to notice flags #with my checklist usually i catch a terf within five to ten minutes #the amber point. i dont care about the case. but everyone ive seend efending her turned out to be a terf. SO #long post

[weiwithwords]

A review of Everything Everywhere All at Once

In this sermon, an antisemitic, ignorant pastor who calls himself Brother Sean rants about why God hates video games. He used to be a gamer, but he quit a long time ago: "It was vain. It was stupid. It was a bunch of flashing lights."*

*Later, the pastor says has has a DVD player, which is better than a video game console because he can use it to watch YouTube. This is confusing for many reasons.

"Flashing lights" is a throughline Brother Sean returns to in the sermon, a two-word phrase that -- in his mind -- illustrates the idiocy of video gaming with the irrefutable force of a mathematical axiom. "That's what [video games] are," he says, "A bunch of flashing lights." And again, in fiery conclusion: "... it's a bunch of stupid, vain stuff. It's flashing lights on screens."

After I finished watching the 2022 film Everything Everywhere All at Once, I started reading its reviews. I'm happy I did, because reviewers found some wonderful turns of phrase to express the essence of that movie. I've seen the word "maximalist" a few times, which is indisputable. (I mean, it's right there in the title.) New York Times writer A. O. Scott came up with the delightful sequence "exuberant swirl of genre anarchy." Consequence's Clint Worthington wrote about its "dadaist absurdism and blink-if-you-miss-it pace." For The Guadian, Mark Kermode submitted "madcap invention and frenzied visual wit." IGN's Rafael Motamayor had the four adjectives "bizarre, gross, heartfelt, and honest" for us, while the Critics' Consensus section on Rotten Tomatoes describes it as "an expertly calibrated assault on the senses."

Don't get me wrong, I like all those words. They do a wonderful job of describing this movie. But for me, the core of Everything Everywhere All at Once is best captured in sermon. Everything Everywhere is a bunch of flashing lights. It's vain. It's stupid. It's flashing lights on screens. But here's something lost in Brother Sean's sanctimonious haste: flashing lights on screens are also some of the most compelling things humans have ever produced. For me, Everything Everywhere was a particular sequence of flashing lights that gripped me like few things I've ever seen.*

*Other notable titles: La vita è bella, Wolf Children, Homecoming King.

Early in the movie, a woman named Joy tries to communicate her sexuality to her geriatric grandfather in awkward, mangled Chinese. Not knowing the word for "girlfriend", she falls short. Her mom Evelyn steps in and, unable to get past homophobic Chinese mores, fails to stand up for her own daughter. Joy is infuriated by her mom's betrayal and storms away, even though Joy can't say the words herself.

This is just one example of the how film uses language to highlight its characters' complex emotional lives. Another is the meticulously-crafted chaos of Evelyn's dialogue. She bounces from English to Mandarin to Cantonese -- often mid-sentence -- with effortless, rapid-fire pace. These transitions are highly intentional, but they don't sound engineered. They rang with an authenticity that brought me right back to my parents' living room.

A full movie later, Evelyn has gone through a hero's journey. She has deep insight into every possible facet of experience, which conveniently helps her work out her problems. It's no surprise when, at the film's climax, with every reason to abandon her mediocre life and broken family, with the full weight of existential despair on her shoulders, Evelyn chooses love and connection. And as she redeems herself in front of Joy, finally telling her father (Joy's grandfather) the truth, Joy does not forgive her.

"I'm tired," Joy says. "I don't want to hurt anymore and for some reason when I'm with you, it just hurts the both of us." Joy just wants to go, to be left alone. And Evelyn says, "Okay."

I was no longer watching Joy in that moment. I was her, and I've been her countless times before. I've lost track of how many times I've wanted to tell my parents I don't care how or even if they're bettering themselves. How I don't want to hear any more apologies or rationalizations. How I can't forget the suffering they caused. I want to tell them I'm tired, and being around them hurts the both of us, and I just want to be left alone.

But at the same time, I want to tell them I forgive them, even if I'm not sure I do. I understand how their upbringing shaped their choices, and I'm not bitter about the resulting harm. I'm doing beyond well on my own. I'm past healing, into thriving. I'll never fully understand them, they'll never fully understand me, and that's fine. I know they did the best they could. How could I hold that against them? 

More than wanting to say any of this, I want acceptance. I want to hear my parents say, "Okay." That's why seeing Evelyn do so was so cathartic. It was my life and more, all rendered in magnificent flashing lights.

Sadly, this is also where Everything Everywhere All at Once disappointed me. Because in the aftermath of Joy's rejection, Evelyn gives a second heartfelt speech about love and connection, and Joy relents. She collapses into her mother's arms in a tearful hug, and the painfully honest bittersweetness of the scene is drowned out in a saccharine deluge of total reconciliation.

However badly my parents might want reconciliation, I do not. I don't want grand speeches collapsing into tearful hugs. I want acceptance and understanding, but I also want to move on. Sometimes, happy endings are not compatible. By contriving them to align so tidily, Everything Everywhere becomes less real for me, regressing back into the generic universe of every other feel-good action movie.

This is especially frustrating because Everything Everywhere has a whole multiverse at its disposal. There was such rich potential to tell a multitude of stories, and having them all end on such high notes killed that potential. If the endings had spanned the full spectrum of human experience -- soaringly joyful, absurd and silly, mature and bittersweet, heartbreakingly tragic, mysterious and ambiguous -- if there had been everything everywhere all at once -- I would have been a lot happier.

Hollywood's inability to divorce itself from less-than-perfect endings hurt the film again in the story of Evelyn's failing marriage. After decades of emotional neglect, her husband Waymond files for separation. I was excited at the potential here. It was a chance to fight back against the false notion -- especially prevalent among Chinese-Americans I know -- that divorce is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage, so disastrous as to be unthinkable.

I don't buy that. Far worse is trapping yourselves and your children in a toxic, loveless union defined by daily routines of blame and abuse. I was looking forward to a story about how divorce, though undoubtedly tragic, can also be liberating and virtuous -- a mature way to move forward and start fresh. Instead, after a few intense hours culminating in a single grand moment, the spark between Evelyn and Waymond rekindles and she enjoys total romantic renewal.

In real life, I don't see single grand moments undoing decades of strife and neglect. Which is weird, because I see it all the time in flashing lights.

Part of me sees the happy endings of Everything Everywhere All at Once as inevitable. It's a movie about Evelyn gazing into an incomprehensible multiverse, with all the vanity and stupidity that entails,* and nonetheless finding Joy, triumphantly emerging with an even stronger claim to hope and purpose. The movie's character arcs and themes demand these happy endings.

*One sequence of flashing lights features a supervillain laying the smackdown on security guards with two giant dildos, and that's not even the weirdest thing to happen in that scene.

But Everything Everywhere is not just a movie about triumph over existential dread. It's also a movie about being a first-generation Asian-American immigrant. It's about the vast linguistic, cultural, and generational barriers that alienate those immigrants from their children. So I couldn't help but feel like it's about me. 

It isn't, of course. Even though it's so close to my heart I could jury-rig it into a Pacemaker, Everything Everywhere All at Once is not about me. Sometimes, people do want total reconciliation. Sometimes, happy endings are compatible. Sometimes, when we gaze into the incomprehensible universe, we find Joy gazing back. Especially when we're gazing at a bunch of flashing lights.

Here's a rare accomplishment these flashing lights can claim: By the time I'd spent 140 minutes with them, I identified with them so strongly that any divergence from my own lived experience felt wrong. They made me forget that the unique bittersweetness of my own life story isn't the only flavor out there. Vanity was in the theater, just not all on the screen.

It would be easy for me to decry Brother Sean's vitriol as vain and stupid. So I will. Almost everything in that set of flashing lights is beyond vain, beyond stupid. He raves about how Jews own Activision and Bill "population control" Gates wants to murder babies. Truly deplorable stuff. But as much as I hate to admit it, there were rare moments in his sermon when I found myself nodding in agreement. One was when he denounced the military "going into countries and killing people," how they indoctrinate soldiers to devalue human life. Violent video games aren't how they're doing that, but I support his antiwar sentiment nonetheless.

More relevant to his point, I have spent too much time playing video games. Brother Sean cites Titus 2:7, exhorting his congregation to "in all things [show] thyself a pattern of good works." I also strive to in all things show myself a pattern of good works, and video games have been an obstacle. The flashing lights can be so captivating they entice me to neglect my responsibilities, or sacrifice longer-term fulfillment at their altar.

I don't mention the specks of truth in Brother Sean's incoherent screed because I think we should take it easy on his ideas. They deserve every bit of condemnation we can muster. But when I think about how truth survives even in that rambling wasteland, I realize something interesting. While Brother Sean's sermon captured the soul of Everything Everywhere All at Once for me, the same also happened in reverse.

When we gaze into the multiverse -- when we lose ourselves in that infinite, meaningless blur of flashing lights -- nihilism feels more than tempting. But he who fights monsters should take care lest he thereby see everything as monstrous. And if you gaze for long into the abyss, love and meaning also gaze back into you.

#eeaao #everything everywhere all at once #movie review #immigrants #chinese american

[filthforfriends]

Hello :) I am an avid reader and big admirer of your fics and I have a little question. I have noticed you mostly (maybe even exclusively) write from the reader’s pov. And I really like it that way. I’m curious if you would ever write a bonus chapter or a passage from Damiano’s pov - for example in GA. Maybe that might help you with your writer’s block with chapter 14? Also I’m generally interested if you ever considered something similar or what you think about it. I’d love learning more about the process and thought behind your writing.

Actually the reason I write in second person is because I noticed that was the most common perspective fan fiction is written from. It was actually difficult to get used to. I think a chapter in Alpha!Damiano's perspective could be cool, I think thats been suggested once before. tbh I'd probably do the chapter half in y/n's perspective and half in his. It's not gonna help my writers block though because I'd have to intentionally choose a plot that I feel sorta confident writing about in his perspective, which would mean scraping what I do have. Y/n is a character I make up all on my own, but Damiano, while a fictional character in my stories, does need to share enough traits with the real person for people to recognize him. Whatever they like about him, I want them to like that same thing in my character. So that means I can't just do what I feels right to the story and wing it

Winging it is always how I write here. I've never sat down and drawn a plot out before hand, but I spend a lot of time in my own head. When I imagine a story that feels so compelling I can't not write it, I force myself to stay there and flush it out. With smut I try to find something thats a little gross or weird or intense or not sexy and then make that sexy. Because all the times I've done that and been nervous about the how its received, those are the fics or chapters that do best. When you push things just slightly past the comfort zone its exciting and honest and raw in a way I believe people crave. I try to find a couple points where it isn't ideal but that humanness actually ends up making things more passionate, more intimate. My experience as a smut writer hasn't been that people desire an ideal portrayed in media or porn. Based on reactions I think that, at least in this little corner of the internet people desire sex and connections with other flawed, quirky, and real people.

Sometimes as soon as I come up with a story, I come up with another one based on that, and I really get into the idea of the characters. So without trying, I have a few ideas that are 4k-12k words long with those characters If I can find a thread that attaches them and flush it out, sometimes it turns into a series with those stories being the chapters. Of course, writing this way you have to lay seeds so theres plot points you can circle back to so the whole thing is cohesive. Eventually, like I'm doing right now, I have to go through a whole fic and all my notes on it to list all the possible plot points and make sure I'm coming back to those. Because I think in collections of stories like this, I write my chapters our of order.

honestly my writers block is a combination of can't focus, too depressed to do anything, and a fear of failure so poisonous that it makes me freeze up. Like right now I'm currently writing chapter 19 for TSITCOE which makes my brain go "No point in posting this fic if you can't even finish it. You're never gonna make it in time. Better just pause the upload schedule now." Meanwhile I have the next two week's worth of chapters totally done and another two weeks after that 90% done. My brain is just really fucking mean as hell and lol. My confidence in my own intellect was very much based in external validations and meeting criteria society told me I should be proud to achieve. Being disabled these past few years as really taken a toll and now I have a voice that always insists I'm going to fail.

anyways thank you for reading and being so supportive! I hope some of this was interesting writery inside scoop type stuff

[natsmagi]

I'm sorry but you're wrong. you are wrong. proship is not just "an excuse to draw pedophilic and incestuous things." people have been doing it WITHOUT excuses since the beginning of fandom. some people create those things to process their trauma. of course it might be triggering to some people, but that's why it's tagged and stamped with warnings. so people can avoid it. kids and teenagers can be groomed with literally any media. anything. doesn't matter what it is. kids can be groomed with bluey as easily as with art of underage genshin characters or whatever. what I see as much more dangerous is the idea that there are things that can and should never be explored in fiction, that somehow it's still gross to engage in those things in a space where literally no real human beings are harmed. that's some evangelical thoughtcrime shit and I am not here for it.

I appreciate you saying you would never harass anyone over it, because you'd think that would be the bare minimum, but these days apparently it's not. and on what you said about "you shouldn't have to label yourself proship when you're just anti harrassment" yeah. I agree with that. but you kind of DO have to label yourself that way, because apparently doxxing is just a normal thing people do now and teenagers are getting the idea that harrassment is "righteous" if done to these specific kinds of "bad" people, often minorities and especially queer people.

I'm not saying you have to personally be comfortable with those kinds of content. it is totally understandable to want to avoid them entirely. but I would ask you, what percentage of people who enjoy those things would ever even CONSIDER bringing them into real life? I can pretty much guarantee you that the real percentage is incredibly small, and the proship community is NOT accepting to people who perpetuate real harm against real human beings.

idk. i don't mean to come off as hostile, it just really bothers me that it's come to this. there's nothing wrong with creating content that makes people uncomfortable. and let's just say it's not a coincidence that the people who are vehemently against it are using nazi dogwhistles.

oh jesus okay. i hear what youre saying and i do want to take your words to heart, so ill be trying to be as indepth with this as i can be

quickly though before we start i wanna comment on your last paragraph; the person who sent the ask later sent me a dm and we talked things over so both of us could get a better grasp of the situation. the person is a minor, and while i dont know how old they are, i do genuinely believe that this was an honest mistake on their part. they messaged me out of the kindness of their heart, and while maybe theyre slightly misguided in some areas, i think it is only right to treat each individual with respect and try to educate them when they perpetuate something harmful, especially when theyre young

ok, now lets go over this point by point

"some people create those things to process their trauma." yes! i am well aware of that, and i would never be against people creating vent art of the situations that traumatized them. my issue comes with posting it online for people who are genuinely into that sort of thing to see. maybe its just me but i personally wouldnt want to risk people getting off to my trauma, especially when ive now visualized it in such a personal way. if anything thatd be re-traumatizing for me. i dont see the point in having it so publicly available for anyone to see

"of course it might be triggering to some people, but that's why it's tagged and stamped with warnings. so people can avoid it." which is good! and i think it would be deeply unwise of someone who is uncomfortable with these topics to seek them out and engage with it. if triggering content is being made and it makes you uncomfortable its better to just leave it be and move on. that said; that doesnt make it any less upsetting to see, especially when its prominent. and people should be allowed to state that they still dont support it, just maybe dont harass the creator because of it

"what I see as much more dangerous is the idea that there are things that can and should never be explored in fiction, that somehow it's still gross to engage in those things in a space where literally no real human beings are harmed." in my post didnt i mention that i think dark topics should be explored too? maybe i phrased it poorly but yes i agree with this point. i do not think you or anyone else should be shamed for consuming dark media, even if it consists of fucked up topics like what tends to be the focus of proshipping. the thing is though; these topics need to be handled tastefully. they need to be handled with respect and empathy for the victims, or else itll just feel pornographic. if youre just writing detailed smut about a grown man with a child, what is it we're exploring? is it gonna go into the psychological effects that would leave on the child? was the amount of detail in the smut necessary? was the smut ever truly necessary to get the point of sexual assault across? all these things should be considered when dealing with these topics, because again, theyre VERY HEAVY and should be treated as such

"apparently doxxing is just a normal thing people do now and teenagers are getting the idea that harrassment is "righteous" if done to these specific kinds of "bad" people, often minorities and especially queer people." yes, it is a very unfortunate thing. this is not something i can defend. i can however shed some light on different sides to this though. most often these kids arent doing much more than hitting you with a mean jokey qrt, while only a small portion actually go out of their way to full-on harrass someone. neither of course is okay, but lets not act like this is something only these teens engage in. i have seen many proshippers go out of their way to leave comments on teens posts where they whine about proshipping about how theyre wrong and horrible people for thinking such things, sometimes even spamming them just to try and get a response so they can dunk on them with some Sick Own, as if theyre not arguing with literal kids online. no side is in the clear on this, so lets not act like one is holier than the other

"what percentage of people who enjoy those things would ever even CONSIDER bringing them into real life?" i dont doubt many proshippers wouldnt bring these fictional fantasies into the real world, what scares me is the audience it may attract. i.e. pedophiles and the like. you and your proshipper friends might be lovely people who would never even think of committing these crimes, but what about the silent onlookers? the percentage that actually WOULD consider it? the margain may be small, but should we not try eliminating it to the best of our abilities? now, you could argue that it is not your responsibility nor within your power who consumes your content, and id have to agree with that. but from a personal standpoint thats just not something i can get behind. maybe its my paranoia talking, but since the probability is still there its not something i can bring myself to support. you mentioned earlier that kids can be groomed by anything, and thats true. but my fear lies less with kids stumbling upon the content, and moreso actual pedos finding content to get off on and a safe space to discuss these fantasies, although having it be about fictional characters rather than real kids. yes, they will always find a way if theyre sick enough, but thats why i want it to at least be explicitly known that pedophilia is not respected and you will be shunned for it. so even if proshippers dont actually support it, i fear it gives pedophiles a place to indulge in their fantasies (and for even more claritys sake; i am not calling proshippers pedos)

"there's nothing wrong with creating content that makes people uncomfortable." i agree with you!! its okay to make content that makes people uncomfortable, theres art in that. art can be expressed in so many forms, and sometimes the intent IS to make the audience uncomfortable. but like ive stated; with these things you really have to handle it with utmost care. and i dont think the intent with this type of content tends to be to make the audience uncomfortable either? all i often tend to really see is people talking about how hot they find it, and i dont think that should be the takeaway from topics like this. again; its all about intent.

"and let's just say it's not a coincidence that the people who are vehemently against it are using nazi dogwhistles." but isnt preaching "theyre trying to take our freedom away!!" a right-wing dogwhistle too ?? the constant fearmongering i see in the proshipping community is concerning. making up stories just to make the other side look bad, claiming theyre silencing you, is this not what the right does??? why do i see it so often from the proshipping community???? again, both sides have faults. can we please stop acting like one is better than the other??? i frankly want no part in this discourse.

to finish this off though, i am sorry anon. i never want my account to feel like a place where people cant express themselves and be who they are. but i do still have my own morals and views. i have my own ideals, and i have my own principles. i do not identify with either anti or proship, its just the dangers of proshipping scares me more than the dangers of antis. of course both can get bad. my point was never to argue in favor of the other side, my point was only ever to let it be known that i dont condone proshipping. that is all

if i misrepresented your community im sorry. i am only one guy at the end of the day and theres only so much i can know on these topics while also only being 19 years old. theres much i dont know, so thats why im always willing to learn. but no matter how hard i try the fear of giving pedophiles a place in a community terrifies me. the mere thought is enough to make me scared for those younger than me out there.

it was never my intention to dictate how one should or should not consume media. you are free to do as you wish, i have no authority over you, these are just my reasons as to why it isnt something that i can support.

thank you though for taking your time to write to me. i hope ive made my stance clearer and have it known that i dont mean any malice. im just so deeply scared of more children getting harmed due to personal reasons and its genuinely bringing me to tears. thank you again

#ask