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esmedelacroix · 5 months

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Coffee Shop Love Pt.6

pairing: miguel o'hara x f!reader

summary: He's as stern and cold as the snow falling from the sky blanketing the bustling streets of Nueva York, Miguel O'Hara stumbles upon a hidden gem of a coffee shop just around the corner from Alchemax. Only problem is the annoying-as-shit smiley-ass barista.

contents: slow burn, no use of y/n, fluffy, not proofread, literally the fluffiest of fluffs, a little drama at the end

author's note: Hey lovies, whoo! Two chapters today! Consider it my apology for being so inactive lately. But don't worry loves I'm back on track. A like, comment, or repost is always appreciated. Hope you like this chapter, the cliffhanger not so much >.<, enjoy...

word count: 1.5k

Pt.1, Pt.2, Pt.3, Pt.4, Pt. 5, Pt.6, Pt.7, Sequel: Sweet Tooth

That morning you were so lost in the ridiculous amount of people coming for coffee that you didn't even realize that Miguel hadn't shown up that morning. "Which is so weird because he always comes for coffee in the morning, sometimes again midday then he comes at night and stays a while," you explained to Estella over muffins and Earl Grey tea.

"Alright girl, first of all, why are you this worried about it? It's probably nothing," Estella reassured.

"It can't be nothing, we slept together days ago when the blizzard happened, and he cuddled multiple times!" you exclaimed, as Estella almost choked on her drink.

"You had sex?!" she blurted out shockingly.

"No, no we just like, slept in the same bed, my bed," you muttered, trying to draw the attention away from the two of you.

"Wait, I'm confused, why was he even in your house?!" she questioned.

You explained the whole situation with the amber alert and filled her in on the day that you had spent with Miguel. The more you explained, the more her jaw dropped.

"Wait, now I'm confused, what is your relationship with him?" Estella asked, taking a bite out of a muffin.

"I'm not even sure, we've had this strange chemistry ever since we met," you explained.

"I'd say give a day or two maybe he's like, at work, or living his life?" she joked sarcastically.

"I'm gonna kill you, Estella! Get out of my shop!" you joked as you pushed her out. She laughed along and waved before heading back to the shelter where she worked.

Your break was over and the lunch rush was just about to happen. Still no Miguel, you were starting to wonder if you had done something wrong. No, it makes no sense to think that way, I know I did nothing. I wonder if he misses me this much as well, you thought to yourself as you began to make people's orders.

The day went by very slowly. You sat by the counter at 8 pm, chin propped up on your hand, as fatigue drooped your head down. Just then the bells rang. Your head shot up immediately hoping there would be a tall, dark, and handsome man standing there before you. But it was just Mr. Smith. Probably here to collect the rent. "Good Evening Baby, I've come here for something, but I forget what it is... maybe a drink?" he trails off as he looks up at the menu.

"No Mr. Smith, you're here for the rent. It's too late for you to have coffee," you explained. He smiled and nodded.

"That's right dear, silly me," he said. You handed him an envelope with the rent for the month and waved goodbye after sending him off with a candy cane.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you plopped into a chair and waited to see if Miguel would show up. Why do I miss him so much? What are my feelings for him? You asked yourself as you got up to lock up.

That night you slept wishing to see Miguel walk through those doors in the morning. But to no avail, he didn't show up that morning, or for lunch, or that night. You opened your phone for any notifications from him but nothing. You gave him a call but his phone was turned off. You decide to leave him a voicemail.

"Hey Miguel, It's been a while since we've seen each other. The shop’s really boring without you here, come by for a coffee soon, I know you can't go a single day without having like 3 cups, I miss you, and I'm pretty sure I like you" you said. You had no idea where that last part came from and you fumbled to delete it somehow but what was done was done. You hoped that he wouldn't listen to it. Besides he was a businessman he had better things to do.

That night you slept wondering where he was and why he would come see you. He was cuddling you one day, then you never saw him. Does he like me, or does he not? You asked yourself. You allowed your mind to rest and went to sleep.

The next morning you got through the rush just fine and went on break while mentally preparing yourself for the lunch rush. Miguel was nowhere to be seen but you didn't panic as much as the days before. You had hoped that maybe he would show up tonight and you would scold him for disappearing without notice.

So as you lay your head on the counter bored out of your mind, the shop bells rang. You headshot up as usual and there you saw him. Tall, dark, handsome, and stuck in the mistletoe again. "I told you, you have to get a taller door frame," he joked as walked in. You chuckled at his joke holding yourself back from rushing to him and hugging him.

"Where have you been Miguel?" you asked him softly, unable to wipe the upside-down smile off your face.

"Surprisingly enough, the second I walked into work I was rushed onto a last-minute retreat at another lab. It's one of those classified things where we turn our phones off. I'm sorry I could let you know Baby," he said softly.

"It's no problem, but this other lab... was it nice? Good coffee?" you asked skeptically.

"Yeah, it was alright—" Miguel started.

"Ha! I knew it! Miguel, have you been seeing another barista?" you jokingly asked him. Just then she heard a low sound break the silence between them. He had never fully laughed around her, but once she heard it, it was music to her ears. I would become a stand-up comedian if it meant hearing this beautiful laugh all day, you thought to yourself.

"Oh Baby, I've missed you so much," he confessed with a few chuckles.

"Alright then, sit down and lemme make you a coffee that will top whatever you drank at that 'other lab'," you said motioning for him to take a seat at his usual table.

Instead of taking his laptop out and getting straight to work, he just watched you. He watched you make the most simple but best coffee he had ever tasted. Once he took a sip, it felt like home. "This is that special brew you used at your place isn't it?" he asked with an amused smile.

"Yeah, I figured since you liked it so much, I would make you a nice big cup of it," you explained as you took a seat across from him.

You and Miguel caught each other up on the events that had passed while you were apart. Miguel couldn't stop talking about how much he learned at this fancy schmancy lab he visited with Alchemax in Washington D.C. and how much he learned about quantum physics. You didn't understand half of the terms he was using but that didn't matter because at least he was having a good time. Seeing him talking about something he was passionate about set fireworks off in your chest. You filled him in on the usual Café gossip and drama that was going on.

It was a lovely night of shared laughs and stories but it had to come to an end at some point. Just when he was about to leave you decided to ask him about the voicemail you had sent. "Miguel, did you ever listen to my voicemail?" you asked.

"No, I didn't have the time, should I?" he answered.

"No, just delete it. What I said was pretty embarrassing," you admitted.

"Well now I’m dying to hear it," he teased.

"Oh please don't," you whined.

"Too late!" he called out as he stepped out to his car and visibly pressed the button.

You begged God to allow the earth to swallow you whole and just began to wipe the counter. Just then the door swung open with violent speed and the bells rang crazily. You turned around to see Miguel out of breath holding his phone in one hand, running his hand through his hair with the other. "Baby?" he huffed completely out of breath from running back to the store the second he heard the voicemail.

"Did you mean what you said in that voicemail?" he asked in disbelief.

"I mean, yeah, I guess, but—" you started. But Miguel held his hand up for you to stop. you took that sudden motion as defeat. He doesn't think the same way, you realize in complete despair.

Next Pt.7...

taglist:

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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AITA for telling my ex I don't forgive her?

(🫁 so I can find later)

so I (21ftm) recently received a message from my ex (20nb). we started dating 4ish years ago, when we were both 16, I believe? I'm 8 months older than her.

she was horrifically emotionally abusive to me for our entire relationship. if I tried to list everything she did to me, it would probably take 5 asks, but the textbook shit is all there; isolating me from friends, mocking me relentlessly both alone and in public, threatening suicide when I tried to break things off, comparing me to other (cis) men constantly, that kind of thing. she also slapped me, once, the one time we saw each other in person. needless to say, at the end of our nearly-two-year-long relationship, my self esteem was pretty shot, and I had a lot of unpacking to do.

we've had a few brief interactions since then, including me PayPal requesting her $100 when I was drunk once (she owed me about $160 when we broke up) and her paying, sending me a message annoyed about it, and blocking me on everything.

so, obviously, I was pretty caught off guard when she texted me last week. she sent me an... actually well thought-out, good apology, accompanied by pictures of her dogs, who I miss deeply. a few days later, I collected enough of my thoughts to give her a well thought out response, which essentially amounted to "I don't know if I can 100% forgive or believe you, but I'm really, really glad that it seems like you're genuinely happy and have changed for the better." It was a little bit petty in places, but not angry.

She responded, mostly receptively, talking a lot about how physically ill and traumatized she had been when we met, which I was aware of. she wished me well again, but let her boyfriend send me a voice message on her account angrily talking about the "petty jabs" I was making and how she had apologized enough, and she seemed to agree with him and backed him up on that.

I'm really wondering if I'm TA for not forgiving her, or at least for being petty to her face. I did accuse her of lying about her other exes, and voiced some angry sentiments I'd had about her (namely that a small part of me was upset that she got to move on and be a different, better, happy person, but that in the end I was genuinely happy for her). she was a deeply ill, deeply traumatized minor living in an abusive situation, and she did give me one of the best apologies I've received, despite claiming that she can't remember most of it, which I believe. but also she fucked me up so badly I had nightmares about her for years, and the fears and ingrained patterns she left in me tore up a number of my intimate relationships.

Am I TA for telling her I can't forgive her and don't 100% believe her when it seems like she's trying really hard to change?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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dudadragneel · 1 year

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Hello guys! It's me!

How are you guys doing?

So. My dear anon who requested the Winter Cabin sickfic, you waited far too long!

FINALLY! THE REQUEST IS DONE!

I'm sorry for the delay! But it's here!

Just a warning: this s*** is long af 🤣

I really hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

💜

*requests are open, read pinned post*

Hii Duda, I thought of this idea for a request in a dream (funny I know) okay so picture the scene— SKZ is on break and it’s winter and they’re all staying at a luxurious cabin and y/n is excited to finally get some alone time and rest with her bf Hyunjin. But Hyunjin develops a bad migraine and he’s hesitant to tell her at first because she’s so excited for a romantic getaway but he decides to just be honest with her and tell her how bad he feels. Like he’s SO nauseous and keeps trying to be sick but can’t, We need the “I feel like I’m going to throw up” line somewhere in there because 🤭. Eventually he does start throwing up but then he can’t stop, every time he eats it just comes back up and he may be miserable but his lovely gf and members are always willing to help.

For an idol, having some free time was something as rare as seeing Halley's comet, so whenever they had, they made it worth every second.

This time, their so dreamed break was during the winter season, a time of the year when everything looked beautiful but also, sometimes, gloomy. The boys decided to rent a luxury winter cabin to spend part of their break and you were going as well.

Even though you went to some of their official schedules to keep Hyunjin company, sometimes you had to work or study, so you couldn't make it. So whenever he had free time or vacations, he would make sure that you both did as much as you could.

You were the organized one when compared to the rest of the group, so you were all packed a day before the trip.

Morning rose, despite being extremely cold, the sun was still rising and shining and it looked beautiful. You were going to leave at 7 AM to get to the cabin around 1 PM.

You were supposed to meet at the dorms and from there get on the bus you guys decided to rent and head for the cabin.

Arriving at the dorms, you were met with 8 frantic boys finishing packing.

- Good morning! Really, guys? Really?

You just stood there, at the doorway, with a not-so-amused or surprised look on your face.

- Oh hi y/n!

Han said running from one side of the room to another with a pack of clothes.

- didn't we plan this trip, like, two weeks ago? I'm not even surprised...

You said defeated as you entered the chaotic house and headed to Hyunjin's room.

- Oh, hello my love!

He said, going to give you a kiss and a hug.

- How's everything? All done packing?

- Almost. I'm just looking for my brush...

- You're bringing your painting kit?

- Yes! The scenery is beautiful, I felt inspired. I just can't find that brush...

- The medium-sized one?

- yeah!

- This one?

You said holding the brush in front of your face with a cute smile.

- Yes! You're life saver, babe!

- You left it at my house last time you spent the night.

- Thank you so much!

He packed his painting kit inside his bag before sitting on the bed. But one tiny action caught your attention, a subtle wince and a twitch of the eyebrow.

- What's wrong?

- what?

- you just winced. What's wrong?

- You noticed that?

- Yeah.

- We've been dating for 2 years and I still get surprised by how perceptive of details you are...

- So, honey, what's wrong?

- A teeny tiny headache...it must be from the cold

- Well, if it's from the cold then you gotta keep yourself warm. Put this binnie and these ear muffs. And this scarf.

You handed him a thick black scarf with a small piece of paper attached to it.

- Woah! You made this??

- Yes! Did you like it?

- It's beautiful! It matches any outfit! Thank you so much, babe!

He gave you a kiss and a hug and then stepped a bit away so you could wrap the scarf around his neck.

- Can you grab me that bag over there?

- Oh, you're bringing your camera?

- Yeah! This weather will give us some beautiful photographs!

- I'm bringing mine as well. A polaroid!

- Oh, you don't like my photos then?

He said jokingly and giving you a sassy look

- No, you silly! I just like the vintage touch to it! I feel like they portray better what we're feeling.

- So my photographs are lifeless?

- No, babe, stop.

You said smacking him on the shoulder, which made him laugh.

- I'm just joking.

You helped him finish packing and then headed to the living room to wait for the other members.

After 30 minutes, the dorm was still in chaos, and by now you were just wondering if you'd actually go on this trip.

- Guys, we have 40 minutes to get to the bus. Come on! I'm totally gonna mom you right now, but, make sure you're not forgetting anything and go to the bathroom before we leave. It's a 3 hours drive to the first rest area, so please.

- Wow, you really momed us...

You just dug your head into your hands and laughed.

Finally, everyone was ready to leave and they made sure that everyone was taking what they said they would, Chan and his computer, Felix and his brownie cooking stuff, and so on.

Much to your surprise, the company allowed you to go on this trip alone, without the staff, since you'd be going to a rather distant place.

So the bus was rented by all nine of you and it was a luxurious one, it was spacious, the seats were comfy, there was AC, heater, WI-FI, and some other cool stuff. Honestly, it felt more like a motorhome rather than a bus.

You sat with Hyunjin and he let you be by the window since you felt cold easier, so you could have some sunlight to keep you warm.

- So, we'll be trapped here for the next 3 hours, what do you want to do?

You asked turning to him with a big smile.

- Since we have a table, I'm thinking of sketching some stuff.

- Cool! Just be careful not to get car sick.

- I will.

- And I'm gonna start taking the pictures!

- Right now?

- Yeah! It's the perfect timing! I want to capture the raw moments, no posing, just you being your natural selves.

- Do you have enough tape/film?

- Oh I have plenty! A bag of them, actually!

He just gave a little laugh and turned his attention to his sketchbook.

You spent a good 30 minutes or more taking pictures of the boys and when you were satisfied you sat back down and opened a journal and started to glue them on the pages with little notes about the moments.

In the beginning, everyone was being loud and cheerful but then the duration of the trip hit and eventually, most of them were asleep.

Hyunjin was still sketching, even though you kept glancing at him and noticed he kept dozing off every once in a while.

- Babe, why don't you take a nap for a while?

- Hm?? I'm not sleepy...

He said pouting and rubbing his eyes.

- Yes, you are. I can see you dozing off

- I'm just resting my eyes...the light hitting the white pages is making my eyes sting.

- Really?

You took a glance at the white pages of his sketchbook and almost immediately closed your eyes.

- Oh, geez! Yeah, that's blinding!

You said making a dramatic pose that made him laugh. A laugh that always made you laugh.

- And you babe, what are you doing?

- Oh, I'm doing my journal!

- Now? Wouldn't it be better to wait until we got to the cabin?

- No, I like it this way. It feels more natural, to just let it happen.

- Interesting.

Hyunjin went back to sketching while you worked on your journal. He tried to concentrate on the pages in front of him but that stinging behind his eyes was still persisting, so he decided it would be best to just try and get some sleep.

- You know what, I'm gonna take your offer and get some sleep.

- I'll wake you up when we get to the rest area.

He put his headphones on, reclined his seat, and was asleep within minutes.

You finished your journal and also went to sleep, the weather was cold and the cozy clothes made you feel relaxed.

A few minutes into sleeping, Hyunjin noticed that the stinging in his eyes wasn't going away. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep? He didn't know, or rather, he didn't want to know, because deep down inside he felt a really light headache starting.

He woke up about 15 minutes before the bus arrived at their first stop, and just stayed silent, listening to music while you're asleep.

He was excited about the trip at first but that headache earlier, the stinging in his eyes, and the headache that was coming back now were worrying him. It was one of your first trips together in a while and he didn't want to ruin it for you, he knew you were really excited for it as well.

He felt nervous and disappointed, but he didn't want to worry you, so he decided to just brush it off. But he knew all too well that the stinging behind his eyes was a sign that a migraine was starting.

Before the bus came to a stop, his stomach was already starting to feel funny, he didn't feel nauseous but it wasn't settled as well.

The bus finally arrived at the rest area and they were relieved to finally be able to stand up and stretch their legs.

- Babe, wake up, we're at the rest area.

- Oh, Hyunjin. You're already awake?

- I woke up about 15 minutes ago.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah! Let's go!

The boys went directly to the bathroom and then to the counter to order some food, even though they had brought some with them, most of it was snacks, and they wanted to have a proper meal.

You got yourself some sweet bread and so did Hyunjin.

His stomach was funny but at the same time he was a bit hungry, so he brushed it off as being too much acid from not eating a lot during the ride.

He ate the sweet bread but it didn't sit that well, his stomach felt heavy after and still funny. He tried drinking sips of water to see if it would calm down but it didn't help. So he decided that maybe he would feel better if it was out of his system.

- Babe, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

- Alright. I'm gonna eat some more.

He left to the bathroom and locked himself inside one of the cabins. He just stood there, breathing and trying to understand what exactly his stomach was feeling. And the light headache was starting to grow strong.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to throw up or not but something was wrong with his stomach.

He bent over the toilet and gagged, trying to bring something up, as he thought that throwing up might help ease the weird feeling in his stomach.

He gagged a few times without success and eventually one of the members came inside the bathroom making him freeze on the spot.

He leaned his back on the cabin's wall, as his head was beginning to pound from the effort of trying to throw up just a few minutes ago.

He squeezed his head in an attempt to make the pain go away but it didn't work. When he heard the member walk out he bent over the toilet one more time and tried contracting his stomach and gagged again, but nothing but saliva came out, and it certainly didn't ease the discomfort he was feeling. And to top that, the pounding in his head increased again by the effort he was putting his body through. He flushed, washed his face, and rinsed his mouth before walking out to meet with a worried expression on your face.

- Babe, are you okay?

- What?

- Not to be rude or invasive, but you took a long to come out. Is everything okay?

- Yeah. I'm fine. You don't need to worry.

- Okay. Let's go, the bus will leave in a few minutes.

He was trying to stay positive about everything, he didn't want to worry you, not when you were so excited for this trip.

The rest of the ride to the cabin was a mix between being chaotic and sleeping, and they couldn't wait to get there, eat, and sleep on a comfy bed.

The cabin was isolated, luxurious, and rather big. Its interior was mostly made of wood which had a nice contrast with the white from the snow outside.

- Woah! It's so beautiful!

They all said with their mouths wide open. Just like usual, the first thing they did was a little game to decide the rooms, and you participated as well.

In the end, you and Hyunjin got one of the bedrooms with a "king" sized bed.

You all went to your bedrooms to organize your clothing in the wardrobes since you'd be staying there for a little while. After that, the boys went downstairs to prepare lunch, they were starving.

- Let's go downstairs and eat something then we can decide what we'll do today.

- You can go first, I'll be there in a few. I gotta go to the bathroom.

- Okay.

You went downstairs and helped the ones in charge of cooking, prepare lunch.

After you left, Hyunjin entered the bathroom and the light bothered him a bit, there was this strange pain in the corner of his eyes when he tried turning them. His head wasn't giving him a break, it felt like the pain increased little by little as time passed. And to add to his suffering, his stomach wasn't exactly happy about it since earlier.

His mouth kept salivating and everything in his body kept telling him not to swallow any of it.

He just stood there in front of the mirror as he felt his mouth pool with saliva. He bent over the sink and just let it out of his mouth, it was so much it made him gag a little but he didn't vomit. He spat out a few more times before rising his mouth and going downstairs.

Lunch went on as usual, loud and fun. The food was delicious and warm, just perfect for the weather.

After lunch, some of the boys went to their bedrooms for a well-deserved nap, others played video games and you and Hyunjin decided to go out for a while since the snow wasn't as deep as to make a nice walk a difficult task.

There was a beautiful lake near the cabin and that's where you two went for a little date.

When you arrived at the lake, you were just as happy as you could be and Hyunjin was happy that you were enjoying the trip.

You turned around smiling at him and the image in front of him made him feel as if he was falling in love with you for the first time again.

The sun cast a light blue shadow on the snow behind you as well as the little bits covering the trees, and the light on the lake's surface cast a beautiful golden shine on your face. Hyunjin felt his heart racing at the beautiful image in front of him.

- I love you.

Was all he could say while looking at you with bright sparkling eyes.

- I love you too.

You kept on walking alongside the as he took pictures of you. Eventually, you reached a nice spot where you could relax so he sat down and pulled out his sketchbook and started to draw.

- What are you doing?

You asked him turning around and smiling.

- Just sketching the beauty in front of my eyes. I wish I had brought a canvas and paint with me. This scenery is just mesmerizing.

He just sat there taking in the imagery of the place.

But being in the cold was starting to show its effects. His nose was getting runny and the headache got a little stronger, he started sneezing which caught your attention.

- Bless you! You okay?

- Yeah! My nose is a little runny.

He said laughing at you with the cutest face.

- Let's get back to the cabin before we catch a cold.

You headed back to the cabin as the sun was starting to set, which made the place even more magical. You both turned back to look at that mesmerizing view one more and take the last picture of the day.

Getting back to the cabin everyone was sitting down deciding on what to make for dinner. But when they asked you what you wanted, Hyunjin's response made you raise an eyebrow.

- Hyunjin-ah, what do you want for dinner?

- Me? I don't know, I'm not really hungry.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You tugged his shirt and whispered into his ear.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I guess it's just the stress from the trip.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

You just looked at him and nodded, if he said so then why say otherwise?

He let you take a shower first because he knew you feel colder than he does.

The day had been nice until now, but everything started to go south the moment he entered the bathroom to take a shower.

Because of the cold, he obviously took a hot shower, and while that did provide some comfort in a way it also worsened his headache. The temperature of the water relaxed his body which made his blood circulate better, making his head start to pound. For a brief moment, he swayed to the side and leaned against the wall so he wouldn't fall and startle you. He changed the temperature of the water so it wouldn't feel as stuffed inside the bathroom and stopped to take a few deep breaths trying to control the sudden dizziness.

As he did that his stomach twisted making him feel nauseous. He leaned his head against the wall and kept taking deep controlled breaths to ease the nausea. But it was a failed attempt. He covered his mouth to surpass a gag so you wouldn't hear him because he really didn't want to worry you when you were enjoying this trip so much.

He bent over the drain and gagged silently and unproductively before he gagged again but nothing but bile came up.

He rinsed his mouth with water and washed his face a few times, calming himself before turning off the water.

He put on some comfy clothes and took a look in the mirror and notices how his complexion looked a little tired but he could try to lie to you by saying it was because of the cold. Even though he knew deep down you would notice something was off.

His head suddenly stung with pain and the dizziness washed over his body once more, he felt the floor sway beneath his feet and grabbed the edges of the sink for support, and crouched down before the worse happened.

He took deep breaths and tried to focus his eyes on the tiles of the floor.

When he deemed it safe, he stood up carefully and washed his face before leaving the bathroom.

Once out, he was met with a rather worried expression on your face.

- Babe, are you okay?

- Yeah. It's just because the bathroom was warm after the hot shower and I didn't want to leave.

He said laughing a little trying to cover what once was a slight headache and now was a pounding migraine.

He tried to brush it off but his body said otherwise. Suddenly his head stung making him squeeze it in an attempt to ease the pain away. Now he wouldn't be able to continue with the farce.

- Hyunjin, are you really okay?

- No.

He said almost breaking down but stopping before crying and making that pounding even worse.

He didn't want to ruin your trip or worry you, but now the pain was getting unbearable.

- My head is killing me.

- Oh baby, since when?

- Since morning, even before we left.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- It was so light before and I didn't want to ruin this trip for you. You were so excited.

- Hyunjin, you could've told me. You're not ruining my trip.

- I'm sorry, baby. I'm really not feeling well right now.

- Is that why you took long on the bath?

- Yeah, it suddenly got worse and it made me feel dizzy twice and I didn't want to pass out.

- Hyunjin, why didn't you tell me? You could've fallen! At least I'd be able to help you before you actually fainted.

- I'm really sorry, I didn't know it would get this bad.

- How bad is it right now?

- Like someone is hammering my head from the inside. I can barely open my eyes, because the brightness makes it sting even more.

- Oh my love. Come here.

You hugged him and pat his head, trying to relax him a little.

- Do you think you're up for some dinner?

- I think so. At least then I could take some medicine. Do you have it?

- Yes, I'll give it to you after dinner. Come on.

- One more thing. Can you please not tell the other members? I don't want to worry them.

- Okay.

You said sighing.

You both went down to meet with the boys in the living room and dinner was already set on the table.

- Let's eat!

Chan said smiling and sitting down.

You sat beside Hyunjin and gave him a little squeeze in his hand reassuring him you were right there for him if he needed.

You all began talking and eating and for a few minutes, Hyunjin kept eating and talking as well.

But as time passed, surprisingly, his headache increased even more. He grew quiet, which thankfully they didn't really give much thought to, as everyone was tired from the trip.

He tried to keep on eating, but his body decided otherwise. Each mouthful got harder and harder to swallow, to the point where he kept on chewing, afraid of swallowing the food. He took another mouthful and the process repeated until he managed to finally swallow the food.

He put his chopsticks down and leaned back on his chair, which caught your attention.

- Babe, you ok?

- Hm

He just hummed and nodded.

But his stomach was already decided that it didn't want that last bite. It started to turn and the nausea hit with full force, sending hot liquid up his throat not giving him much time to control the situation. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tight.

He let out a muffled burp which ended up bringing his stomach content up even closer to his mouth.

- I feel like I'm going to throw up.

That was all he managed to say before a gag filled his mouth with vomit making him dart to the bathroom, you following right behind leaving everyone shocked.

- What just happened?

- I don't know. But he was a little off today, wasn't he?

When he got to the bathroom he barely had the time to reach the toilet before vomit spilled out of his mouth hitting the edges of the toilet in the process.

He grabbed the edges and kept standing up as he gagged and vomited everything he had for dinner. The fact that he had just eaten was the worst because it felt solid and harder to throw up and he swore he could feel every texture in his mouth as the waves came out.

You entered the bathroom shortly after and ran to his side and held his hair back as he threw up one more time.

- Oh my god babe.

He felt the grains of rice and that made him gag harshly, bringing up a stronger wave of vomit that arched his back and didn't give him time to breathe before another wave came out, this time coming out of his nose as well.

You tied his hair in a short ponytail and proceed to rub his back and stomach, providing him some comfort.

He just stood there, in the same position, grabbing the edges of the toilet for support, and left his mouth open, while saliva kept pouring out.

The whole strain that vomiting put on his body made his head feel like it was about to explode.

He could see black dots in front of his eyes and he felt the ground melt beneath his feet and his knees buckled without he could notice.

You were quick to grab him by his chest and waist to guide him down to his knees. You were thankful this time that he was rather light.

- Don't worry, I've got you. Let's sit down now, ok?

- ok...I feel dizzy...

He just let himself lean his weight on you as you had your arms around his chest and waist.

- let me stay like this for a while...

- Of course.

With the hand that was holding his waist, you decided to rub his lower back.

- You're gonna be okay. Just breathe for a while with me okay?

Chan knocked on the door before entering the bathroom to analyze the situation his dongsaeng was in.

- How is he doing?

- He threw up basically everything he ate.

- How are you feeling, Hyunjin?

Chan said kneeling down close to you.

- I feel like my head is going to explode. And my stomach just keeps on swirling around. Everything is bright and it stings my eyes.

He said, not daring to move from his position.

- I'll go tell the others what's happening and get your bed ready.

- Thanks, Chan.

You said giving him a soft smile.

He left the door open and Hyunjin tugged your shirt and motioned for you to close it before reaching the toilet. Once you were beside him again, he proceeded to throw whatever remained in his stomach.

- Oh babe, he's seen you sick before.

Hyunjin knew that, but he just wanted to be alone with you for a while. The lesser information around him, the better.

His stomach contracted painfully making him gag harshly another thick stream of vomit mixing with what was already inside the bowl.

The sigh and smell of it only made him gag more bringing more and more food up his throat.

- Jesus, babe. You're really not okay.

He threw up one more time before his stomach decided to eject only bile, and by now his throat was hurting with the strain and acid from his stomach.

- Honey, I think you're done. If you keep this up you'll hurt your throat even more.

- Hmm

You flushed the toilet, pulled him close to you, and cleaned his mouth with a wet cloth.

- Do you still feel nauseous?

- not that much...but let me stay like this a little longer, I don't feel like moving...

- okay...

You kept patting his head and drawing patterns on his hand and just let him relax a little.

- Are you feeling a little calmer now?

- Hmm

- Let's go to the bedroom then. Can you stand?

- I don't know...

He tried getting up with your help, but his vision got blurry and he slumped to the ground, the only thing keeping him from actually falling was you. You took a good look at him and noticed he was barely conscious, and you wouldn't be able to support his weight like that.

- Chan! Can you come here, please?

- What is it? Did he faint?

- Almost, we tried getting up but he just fell.

- Okay, I'll carry him to the bedroom.

Chan positioned himself in front of Hyunjin and you helped the sick boy get on his hyung's back.

- Don't worry, Hyunjin, hyung's got you.

Chan gave him a piggyback ride to your bedroom and propped him down on the bed, and you carefully guided him to lie down.

- Does that feel better?

- Hmm...

- I'll leave this bucket next to the bed, just in case.

- Thanks, Chan.

- we'll prepare some light soup for him to eat later.

Hyunjin just grumbled and shrugged at the mention of food.

- Are you gonna be sick again?

- No... just don't talk about f-food...please

- Sorry.

Chan left you two to go prepare something for his dongsaeng to eat once his stomach was a little more settled.

You got some cold water for the poor sick boy to drink to try to calm down his stomach and ease his throat.

- Here drink this. It's just cold water.

- Thanks...I'm sorry for ruining our trip...

- No babe! There's nothing to be sorry for! It's not your fault you're feeling sick.

- But I could've told you sooner but I didn't want to worry you...

- Stop saying that, Hwang Hyunjin.

You said firmly, which he understood, and shut his mouth before he made you angry instead of worried.

- Honey, can I take some medicine? My head is killing me...

- I don't think that would be a wise decision, babe. It's not good to take medicine on an empty stomach, and your migraine medication is rather strong.

- I don't know if I can handle this pain anymore.

- Then put this on.

You gave him an eye mask to help with the brightness and encouraged him to sleep while he couldn't take the medicine.

You guided him close to you and pat his head and started humming, you could feel his body relaxing and within a few minutes, he fell asleep.

He slept for about 2 hours before waking up, looking a little confused.

- Hey, babe. Are you okay?

- My head still hurts a lot...

- And your stomach?

- A little less nauseous...

- Do you think you can keep down some food?

- I don't know...maybe...

Chan brought the soup the group made while he was asleep, and they tried to make it as light as possible without losing all its taste.

- Here! We all helped make it! We hope you'll like it.

- Thanks, hyung. It smells good.

Chan left the tray with you and went back downstairs to meet the boys.

- I'll try to eat some...

- Good. But you don't need to force it. But if you can keep a few mouthfuls down, you can take your medicine.

- Okay.

He got a spoonful and hesitated for a moment before bringing it to his mouth. He took small sips of the soup to not upset his stomach.

- Hmm! It's good!

He said in a rather excited tone, considering how miserable he was feeling.

The boys brought bread for him to eat with the soup as well, so it could protect his stomach for his medicine.

He ate basically the whole soup and then took the pill with some water.

- It was really good.

- I'm glad you liked it.

You kissed him on the forehead and a bright smile, which he returned.

You two decided to stay seated on the bed because you knew that laying down right after eating in his state, would upset his stomach.

You watched some series and Hyunjin was dozing off every once in a while, and you were somewhat relieved. But you knew deep down this day was far from being over.

Hyunjin loved the food his hyungs prepared for him, it felt light on his stomach which he was grateful for. However, his migraine didn't give one sign that it was getting better. His head still pounded, it was as if he could feel every heartbeat inside of it.

His stomach started to twist and turn making him wake up, though he didn't open his eyes. He kept them shut in an attempt to go back to sleep but to no avail. The nausea grew stronger making his mouth start to produce more saliva, forcing him to swallow it.

But it didn't stop, his mouth kept pooling with saliva and he started to swallow convulsively, trying to keep everything in.

For a moment it worked, and he felt this relief wash over his body. But it didn't last long.

The nausea came back even stronger, his stomach was bubbling and he felt this bubble come up his throat and get stuck. He felt suffocated by it and he needed to burp.

He contracted his stomach lightly to force the burp out but it just brought up hot liquid up his throat and he knew this time he wouldn't be able to hold it in.

He stood up startling you, and quickly covered his mouth as he turned to his side of the bed. He tried getting up but it was too late, a harsh gag made some of the vomit come out, spilling through his fingers, but he kept his hand on his mouth, not wanting to make a bigger mess. He needed to get to the bathroom but he felt too weak to even get up from the bed.

You sat behind him, patting his back reassuringly.

- It's okay, babe. Just let it out. I'm right here with you.

You said, giving him a little kiss on his back.

The words of comfort coming from you relaxed him, so he let go of his mouth and bent over as another harsh gag arched his back sending another stream hitting the ground.

You quickly grabbed his hair to prevent from vomit getting on it and kept rubbing his back, up and down.

- That's it. Don't worry, okay? Just let everything out, you'll feel better after.

His body gave him only a few seconds to breathe before sending another wave of watery vomit up his throat, making him bent forward almost falling from the bed.

- Woah! I've got you, I've got you.

You said embracing him with your arms across his chest and pulling him back.

He burped another wave but the only thing coming out now was bile. His stomach contracted painfully, forcing something up to the point where his face got a little red, but only a tiny stream of bile came out.

- Honey, I don't think there's anything left in there. You'll just hurt your throat. Sit back a bit, lean on me.

He leaned his weight on you as you stroke his hair.

- I'm sorry for the mess...

- No, no, no. Dont, apologize. Dont worry. I'll clean this up in a bit.

You let him stay like that for a while, guiding him through deep breaths to calm down.

- I think I'm okay now...

- really?

- Yeah...I just feel lightheaded

- Then lay down, I'll clean this up.

- Okay...I'm sorry...

- Stop, please.

He laid down facing up, not wanting to give a chance for his stomach to do flips again and closed his eyes.

You left the room to get wet cloths, a mop, and a bucket to clean up the room before it started to smell like vomit and triggered Hyunjin's nausea again.

When you arrived at the kitchen, the boys gave you a worried look.

- Is everything okay?

- Yeah, I mean...Hyunjin threw up again.

- he didn't manage to keep the soup down?

- No... but he said it was delicious a lot of times, he really liked it, but his migraine is just making him suffer.

- Do you need help?

- No, at least not now. But I'd like it if you could keep him company later, so I can take a quick shower.

You said giving a shy smile.

They all agreed and just waited for your request.

Getting up to the bedroom, you found Hyunjin dozing off rather peacefully, so you tried to keep as quiet as possible while you cleaned the mess.

He didn't even flinch while you were there, so after you were done cleaning, you took the opportunity to take a shower. Yes, just like a mother would do with her kid.

You messaged the boys so one or two of them kept company to Hyunjin, just in case something happened.

Felix went upstairs to keep the sick boy some company while you showered.

Hyunjin woke up but was barely conscious and just greeted Felix confused.

- Felix? Hi?

- Hey, there. How are you feeling?

- Hmm, tired...

He said going back to sleep without much thought, making Felix giggle a little since he seemed okay.

He just stayed there, patting the sick boy's thigh, even though the latter didn't even notice until you came back.

You saw how he was still sleeping so you just whispered.

- Was it okay?

- Yeah. He didn't actually wake up, just for a few seconds, and went back to sleep.

- Thank God.

- We'll come upstairs in a bit to sleep as well, so if you need anything, you know where we are.

He gave you a pat on the shoulder before leaving the room.

Night fell and everyone settled in their rooms, despite the rather tiring day, the night was quite beautiful. And you were somewhat relieved that Hyunjin basically didn't move an inch since the ordeal earlier. You quietly laid down beside him and whispered a soft goodnight before falling asleep.

Around 1 AM, Hyunjin started to feel weird again. His migraine was just as strong as before and no matter how much he kept his eyes shut, they still stung.

He tried to focus back on sleeping, taking controlled breaths, but it was not working.

He didn't want to wake you up because he noticed that you were really tired and he knew that was mostly his fault, so he tried to deal with it alone.

He covered his eyes with one arm while his other hand rested on his stomach, and took deep breaths. But the nausea was settling in and it wanted everything out. He felt his stomach contract and try to bring up its content, his mouth started to pool with saliva making him start to swallow convulsively, while he squeezed his eyes and clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white.

The process lasted a moment but for Hyunjin, it felt like an hour. When he felt that horrible feeling going away, a wave of relief washed over his body.

He decided to turn to his side to not bother you, but that was the worst decision he made that day.

The moment his body turned, his stomach turned as well and sent its content up his throat without much warning, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it down as he already felt the liquid hitting his throat and starting to fill his mouth.

He clamped his mouth shut and got up from the bed, rather quietly for someone who was about to throw up, so he wouldn't wake you up.

However, he got up too quickly, making his blood run through his body and making his head throb painfully, as if someone was hammering inside of it.

He leaned on the wall for support, while he still kept his hand over his mouth, he needed to at least get to the bathroom.

But he felt the strength drain from his body as his vision blurred with black spots. He panicked, not only was he not gonna make it to the bathroom but he was going to pass out as well.

He started to slide down the wall when someone grabbed him and held him up.

It was Chan, his fatherly instincts didn't let him sleep, knowing his dongsaeng was sick and anything could happen.

- Woah! I've got you, I've got you.

Hyunjin just looked up, barely opening his eyes to recon his hyung beside him.

His stomach contracted aggressively making vomit slip through Hyunjin's fingers and hit the ground.

- Oi! Let's get you to the bathroom, come on.

Chan quickly helped the sick boy to the bathroom, while the latter leaned his weight against him, which he didn't really mind since Hyunjin was light.

Getting to the bathroom, Hyunjin didn't even have time to reach the toilet so he went to the sink before vomit escaped from his mouth.

Chan stood by his side, holding most of Hyunjin's weight as he grabbed one of the edges of the sink for support.

Chan rubbed his back up and down as he threw up one more time and coughed.

- Oi, oi, oi! Let's move to the toilet, okay? Otherwise, we'll end up clogging the sink. I'll leave the water running for a while.

The older boy helped Hyunjin to the toilet, where he grabbed the edges and kept standing and looking down.

His stomach gave him a little break, only making saliva pour out of his mouth, almost like water.

Chan kept rubbing his back and reassuring him he was not alone.

- It's okay. Just take your time okay? Do you feel like you're gonna throw up again?

- Y-yeah.

Hyunjin barely managed to answer as a gag made him spill even more watery saliva.

He gagged again a few times but despite making him feel miserable and incredibly nauseous, his stomach wasn't sending anything up.

- I can't do it...

- What? You can't throw up?

- Nothing's coming up hyung...but it feels horrible

He was almost sobbing but he managed to hold it in since he knew that could just worsen his already killer migraine.

- Do you want me to help you?

- Please...

- Okay. I'll just press down on your stomach a little bit okay? It might feel uncomfortable but it will help.

- Ok...

Chan rubbed and gently pressed Hyunjin's stomach down in different areas to stimulate it to contract and expel whatever was left in there that was bothering his dongsaeng.

He gave one more gentle press in the middle and that stimulated a gag and a burp that brought up some vomit with it.

He kept standing up and just bent over a little more as he threw up after his hyung's help.

He barely managed to close his mouth and breathe before a harsh gag arched his back painfully, vomit coming out with even more force, making him bend even further and sway a little bit.

Chan was quick to wrap his arms around him and guide him down to his knees, to prevent the sick boy to injure himself.

- There, there, there. I've got you, hyung's got you.

He proceeded to rub his back from his lower back all the way up to his shoulder blades to help the sick boy expel everything inside his stomach.

And wave after wave, more and more vomit hit the water inside the toilet with a sickening sound, making Chan grimace a little.

- You're doing good. Let everything out.

He kept reassuring Hyunjin he was okay and that he was not alone.

Eventually, he was just dry heaving.

- Hyunjin, you're just straining your throat. Straighten your back a little.

Chan flushed the toilet and proceeded to help his dongsaeng through a breathing process to calm him down a bit.

Once he was finally relaxed he slumped down leaning his whole weight on his hyung.

- sorry...hyung...I feel...dizzy...

- Shh, it's okay. Just relax, I'm right here, I've got you.

Chan reassured embracing his dongsaeng as the boy's consciousness drifted away. In other situations, Chan would've gotten worried, but given what happened today, passing out was basically a blessing.

He waited a moment to make sure Hyunjin wouldn't wake up or get sick again before he stood up.

Chan got up, and helped Hyunjin up, which the boy also helped, managing to stand on his feet, still barely conscious.

Before he picked him up, Chan warned him so he wouldn't be surprised.

- I'm gonna pick you up, okay? I'll be careful don't worry.

The boy hummed in agreement.

Chan picked him up, carried him to the living room, and sat him on the couch.

- you good?

- Hmm.

- I'll take that as a yes. I'll go get a pillow and some blankets for you, okay?

- Hmm

Hyunjin's brain was barely processing any information at that moment, he was close to passing out, he just wanted to sleep.

Chan came back with the 'sleeping kit' and carefully helped Hyunjin lay down on the couch.

He barely laid down and was already falling asleep.

- Don't worry, Hyunjin. Hyung's right here.

He laid down close to Hyunjin to keep the boy safe and also keep him company.

A few minutes later, Felix woke up and found them in the living room.

- Hyung? What are you doing here?

He said whispering.

- Oh, Lix. It's Hyunjin. He woke up and got sick a few times.

- Is he okay?

- I think for now yes. He almost fainted twice, well, I think he actually fainted now. He won't even budge.

- I'll stay here with you guys as well.

- Oh, there's no need to. You can go back to sleep.

- I'd rather stay here and be able to help in any case.

- Okay, then.

Felix bought his pillow and blanket and settled in as well.

And one by one, the members gathered in the living room, and eventually all eight of them were sleeping close to each other.

Chan just kept observing as all his kids gathered around and smiled fondly.

The rest of the night went on without any other incident and they all slept peacefully.

The next morning, the day started with gloomy weather, the sky was grey signaling a rainy day, the perfect weather to sleep all day long.

You woke up to find that Hyunjin was not there and kindda panicked. You got up from the bed and started to look for him, you went to the bathroom and no one was there, so you went to the other boys' rooms and no one was there as well, so you understood what had happened during the night.

You made your way quietly downstairs and halfway through you noticed where everyone was.

You found them all curled up together on the couch sleeping profoundly, and you noticed how peaceful Hyunjin looked.

You couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of you and you carefully made your back to the bedroom and got your polaroid, when you went down again, not one had moved an inch.

You took a picture and then wrote a note before putting it in your journal and then joining them on the couch.

"Brothers from different mothers"

#emeto #sickfic #whump #kpop sickfic #kpop emeto #stray kids emeto #stray kids sickfic #hyunjin emeto #hyunjin sickfic #hyunjin x reader #skz x reader #SKZ fanfic #SKZ sickfic

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mpregandproud · 1 year

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Isaac (Part 2)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

How do you tell the person you've just started dating that you're expecting his child? It's the question that has been bothering me since I left the doctor's office. So many emotions in such a short time. I was hoping to be a father sometime in my life, but with Sandra. Since I started dating Isaac I discarded that option, I don't know why I did it. Prejudice, for sure, I come from a traditional family and two men being fathers together was not usual. I thought I would have to adopt or use a surrogate to be a dad in the future. And it turns out that I am finally one of those few men who can get pregnant and as luck would have it, I am expecting Isaac's child.

I needed to clear my head before I got home, so I didn't go back by bus, I decided to take a walk around town until I got to Isaac's apartment. I stopped at a shop window, my reflection in the glass already showed a belly that a few months ago was not there. My breakup with Sandra resulted in my anxiety about food. In just a couple of weeks I put on 50 pounds, I look like a cow. I've always been a glutton. It was the reason I started playing soccer, to stay in shape. Since I stopped playing soccer I had lost muscle, but I never put on as much weight as I did in those days. I lost some weight these last few weeks, but the belly was still there. It wasn't very big, because I'm a big man, but it definitely showed. As I looked at myself in the window I put my hands on my belly and rubbed it. I didn't look too bad, I even looked sexy. I better get used to it because this little one is only going to get bigger.

I arrived home two hours later, on the way I stopped to buy some donuts and eat them in the park in the sun. Was it the first craving? Isaac arrives home at 20:00 from the university where he is a literature professor. I prepared a special dinner, decorated the table for the occasion and dressed more elegant than usual.

When Isaac arrived he greeted me with a romantic kiss and a hug. When he saw the beautifully decorated table he asked me if we were celebrating something and I told him I had a surprise for him.

"Honey, as you know, today I had an appointment at the doctor's because of my belly, which was harder than usual. He said there's nothing wrong with me" I said and Isaac made a relieved face, he held my hands to reassure me. "The thing is... it turns out... I'm pregnant... I'm expecting your child", as I told him about it his face drew an expression of greater surprise. I haven't known Isaac for a long time and I wasn't able to interpret what he was thinking at that very moment.

There was an eternal silence. It would barely last a few seconds, but for me it was the longest moment of my life. Isaac grabbed me again with his big, warm hands. At that moment a sense of peace washed over me. "It's all right. I'm not going to lie to you if I tell you that I didn't expect to be a dad so young, but I think you're the father I always dreamed of for my children. I love you so much, Daniel," he said, looking into my eyes with emotion. After that, we kissed passionately.

"According to what he told me, I'm a one month pregnant, so if I do the math, it had to be the first time we slept together. It's one of the few times we've fucked without a condom, so it has to be from that day. I have no doubt," I said. Actually, this detail didn't matter anymore. I could see Isaac's excitement overflowing. His eyes were shining like never before. I don't think anyone had ever looked at me with as much love and admiration as he did at that moment.

The following weeks were complicated. I kept having morning sickness. My appetite grew and I regained the weight I had managed to lose since I started dating Isaac. My doubts about my body returned, but he made sure to remind me that he met me with a belly and that it was one of the parts of my body he liked the most. In fact, whenever he had the chance he would show it to me. I worked part-time as an IT guy and the rest of the day I spent walking, eating and resting until Isaac came home in the evening. Since we found out we were going to be parents our sexual activity has multiplied. From what they say, pregnant women enjoy sex more in the final months, but my body is already enjoying it from the beginning.

By the time I was two months pregnant, I weighed 230 pounds. For someone who for many years had been under 170 pounds, it was a major change. Most of my clothes no longer fit. Actually, they hadn't fit for months, although I didn't want to admit it. With the belly I gained after the separation, all my shirts were tight. And now my pants started to fit tight too. I had to buy a lot of new clothes in very large sizes so that they would fit me for a longer period of time. With the new clothes I could look like I wasn't pregnant, just a little chubbier than usual.

We decided not to tell our friends and family until I had a new ultrasound and they checked to make sure everything was perfect. We both wanted to share the news with our loved ones, especially with Isaac's friends, with whom we met almost every day. With them I felt very supported and understood from the first day. They made me feel like one of the group of friends, even before Isaac and I started dating. I had more in common with them than I did with my high school or college friends. I would even hang out with Bruce, Ken, Tom and Justin when Isaac was at home preparing for his classes. They had become my family.

The day of the ultrasound came. I left work and headed to the hospital. I was excited, eager to find out if everything was going well. The bus arrived, I entered the hospital and stood in the waiting room. Isaac was already arriving, he had taken his car from the university and in a few minutes he would be with me to go in for the ultrasound together.

As I waited, a woman with a huge belly sat next to me, she must be about to give birth. I looked up and saw it was Sandra, and she looked very sad. "Hello, Sandra, it's been a long time, how are you doing" I asked her. Deep down I would have preferred that meeting not to have taken place. She burst into tears without answering me.

When the crying passed, she looked at me and said, "I missed you Dan. Everything was easier with you. But look at me, about to give birth, abandoned by Peter and without a job. I've screwed it all up." I didn't think her life was so bad, why would Peter leave her? "I see you're doing better, you're glowing. Your cousin told me that after our breakup you had a hard time and put on a lot of weight, but now you had met someone and were very happy. I imagine that if you are in this clinic it will be because you are going to be a father. Congratulations," she told me in a reproachful tone.

"That's right, I'm going to be a dad in about seven months. There's still a long way to go, but I'm very excited," I told her. I knew those words didn't help to lighten the mood, but inside I was so happy since I knew I was pregnant that I didn't care about anything else. Just then Isaac came into the waiting room and kissed me before sitting down next to me. "Sandra, this is Isaac, my boyfriend. Isaac, this is Sandra, my ex-wife," I introduced them. Isaac offered his hand in greeting, but Sandra remained disgruntled.

"Your boyfriend? Are you gay? Did you use a surrogate to become parents?" Sandra asked. Isaac and I looked at each other and couldn't help but smile. "Yes, we're boyfriends. I met him at soccer few weeks after our divorce and, although it took us a while to become boyfriends, I think I fell in love with him from that day on," I said looking Isaac in the eye, even though I was responding to Sandra. "No, we didn't resort to a surrogate," Isaac said putting his hand on my belly and rubbing it, while looking at me and winking. That gesture didn't help with Sandra, but it came naturally to Isaac.

"Wait, what, you got pregnant?" said Sandra in surprise. "That's right, I happen to be unknowingly one of the few men in the world who can get pregnant. It wasn't a wanted thing, but we're so happy to be able to be dads," I told her. She gasped. It was normal, the man she had been married to for three years was standing in front of her with a boyfriend and announcing that he was expecting a child. At that moment we were called to the office. Isaac and I got up immediately and I said goodbye to Sandra. Isaac approached her and invited her to come to our house for dinner that night to continue getting to know each other and talk. Although I didn't really feel like being with Sandra, this kind of gesture is what made me fall in love with Isaac. She, to my surprise, gladly accepted the invitation. It was the first moment that day that I really saw her happy.

I lay down on the table and the doctor started the ultrasound. He said he could feel my belly a little bigger and firmer than last time, that was a good sign. Isaac didn't stop holding my hand at any time, he was so excited about this pregnancy. The doctor confirmed my suspicions, there was more than one baby. "Congratulations to both of you, you are expecting triplets." Three babies? I thought it would be two, three is a lot. My face was terrified. If expecting one child already scared me, and the thought of two terrified me, three made me panic. At that moment I thought about how much I was going to get fat, how it would change my life to have three babies to support. A feeling of responsibility and fear at the same time.

I looked at Isaac and he was ecstatic, the sparkle in his eyes was bigger than ever. "Oh, how wonderful my love, we are going to be daddies to three beautiful babies. I love you so much," he said and kissed me immediately. As it always happens to me, his kisses give me peace, all my doubts and fears disappeared instantly. This man has the ability to make me feel in seventh heaven. I was carrying three children of the man I love, what could be better than that.

To be continued...

#mpreg #mpreg story #pregnant man #pregnant guy #male pregnancy #prengant #man pregnant #gay #Isaac

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babyitsbeautiful · 5 months

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Life Update for 2023. (It's a long one.)

For those that follow me on other social media platforms, you already know what's been happening and I appreciate the love and support.

For those that don't, I feel like this is long overdue. Especially to my 'crash through the surface' readers. I promise I will give you the ending you deserve.

To start, this has been a hell of a year. So many unexpected things have happened in such a short time frame that it's hard to convey just how crazy it's truly been.

I gained a new sister with whom my father had out of an affair before he died 23 years ago, although she is wonderful in every way, so I guess I can thank him for at least giving me another beautiful sister.

We met at the beginning of the year and have stayed close ever since. It's like we've known each other forever. The first half of the year was very exciting for me. I had a new sister, got to do so many fun things and work the Vampire Diaries/Originals convention for Creation Entertainment. Truly an amazing few months. I was so excited to find out how the rest of the year would go. I was even in the mood to start writing again.

But then the unimaginable happened. My 8 year old blue heeler, Lucy, had what we thought was a benign fatty lipoma (she had all the signs) removed at the beginning of July that turned out to be a high grade mast cell tumor that was basically untreatable and irreversibly fatal.

Ironically, we got the news two weeks after her surgery, on the 23 anniversary of my dad's death... from cancer. I was completely devasted. I could tell immediately that her vet did not want to give me that news. I asked every question I could think of and was told there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, nor would Chemo even work at that point, it was already too far progressed. He told me to ignore the estimated remaining life span noted in her test results (less than 4 months) and to just love and spoil her everyday. I told him I already do that, but I did go the extra mile for her anyway.

We had a good rest of the summer, all the way through September she showed no signs, other than the metastatic growth of the cancer cells in the same area on her belly, forming twice as worse than before. But she didn't mind, and just continued to live her best life.

I told her that she would get to see her Uncle soon, my younger brother, when he came to town for our new sister's wedding at the end of September (he walked her down the aisle, hella cute btw.) She loves loves loves her uncle, and was beyond excited to see him.

And I swear to you she stayed as strong as she could just to be able to see him one last time because on the day he left, her tumors ruptured and her health started to rapidly decline. I did all that I could for the month of October to keep her here with me. We bandaged her up so the bleeding would stop, she got medication from the vet, but there was only so much that could be done. She stayed so strong though, I could tell she was a fighter, still with a smile on her face.

But in that last week, when the medication no longer worked and she lost that smile and had that look on her face, a look of intense pain and just all around defeat, I knew she needed me to carry her strength.

She silently told me that she was ready and I made the call that changed my life forever. So on October 25th, we said our goodbyes and she fell asleep in my arms before waking up on the other side of the rainbow bridge where there was no more pain or fear.

She was my entire world and I, hers.

It's been a month now, and it still hurts every day, but every day is a little better than the last. The second half of the year has really changed me in so many ways. My life is so different now, because my entire life revolved around taking care of her. And I wouldn't have changed it for anything. Lucy was never a people person kind of dog, she did not like strangers or other animals. So if I wasn't working, I was at home with her. The times I had a social life or travelled were rare and far between.

But she's gone now and my life belongs to just me again. It's a strange feeling really, not having that kind of dependency anymore, but I revel in it at times.

I've travelled more in the last month than I have in years as keeping myself busy and away from an empty apartment helps. I will be going to New York for the first time this New Year's Eve, which is amazing and so exciting.

I confess that at first I felt the guilt of being able to do fun things at her expense of being gone. But her being gone was not anyone's choice, it was just something that neither of us could control and I had to end her pain when it was still beginning rather than have her suffer more than she already was. I know that. I would just rather have her with me for a few more years than be able to do fun things. She was my fun thing. ♥

With all that being said, I am at a very different stage in my life now that involves me getting back into the things that make me happy, which is writing.

I never intended to go this long without updating this story, but then life, like the one I've lived this year, happens and certain things just take precedent over other things.

I will be getting back into 'crash through the surface' very soon. I've thought about it more in the last few weeks than in a long time. So to my readers both (potentially) new and old, thank you thank thank you for the love on what we have so far. The story is far from over.

Also a huge thank you to everyone who has me on Facebook and Instagram and keeps up with my craziness, I truly adore all of you.

And if you don't but want to: @hollyelizabeth3

#me #life update #ctts #crash through the surface #gendrya

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adell032 · 1 year

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Lover Boy Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Warnings: None Prompt: The team meets the girl Rossi and Hotch saved a few years back, little do they know she's Spencers childhood friend (I hate using Y/N so I'm giving her a random name) -------------

"Rossi I'm telling you, I will be fine, I'll have you and Hotch by my side, I can handle the BAU."

"It's not you I'm worried about kiddo, we've already got one genius on the team, now we'll have two!"

You laughed at Rossi, knowing he was just trying to calm both of you down, it was your first day officially working for the BAU, alongside the two men who had saved you 8 years ago. "Audrey, remember, if at any point it feels like too much you can step out, Hotch and I will be right here." "I'm not a little 16 year old anymore, old man, I'm 24, I can do this." "I know you can."

Rossi opened the doors for you, letting you walk in first, Aaron had gave you your credentials and gun yesterday, the rest of the team were at home on their day off, but he had dragged you in to do introductory paperwork. The whole team were waiting for you and Rossi, as you could see them through the glass window, all their backs turned so they couldn't see you, though it looked as if Hotch was giving them a scolding, "he's probably just telling them to be nice, don't worry." Rossi messed your hair up, and you rushed to fix it as Prentiss turned around, quickly tapping JJ on the shoulder as you pushed the door open. The rest of the team turned to you, but you could only focus on one face, "Spencer?"

"You know Spencer?" "You know Audrey?"

The boy genius stood frozen, his mouth opening and closing like a fish before he finally found the courage to speak, "what are you doing here?" His voice cracked as you slowly walked towards him, watching in confusion as he took a step back when you reached out to him, "Spence?"

"I- I can't do this right now." He turned away from you, speeding towards his desk and burying his head in the first book he grabbed, you looked to Rossi, "you didn't tell me he worked here."

"We didn't know that you two knew each other."

"I grew up in Vegas, we went to the same school until he went to college at 14 and I, well you know." Hotch and Rossi nodded, "just give him some time, kiddo." Rossi patted your shoulder, walking off to his own desk as the rest of the team crowded around you.

"I'm Emily, this is JJ, Morgan, and Garcia." Emily pointed to everyone as she said their names, your gaze stopping on Garcia, admiring her clothes, she shrunk back under your stare, "she's so intimidating for a short person." She whispered to Morgan, not very quietly as you had heard her, "sorry, I love your dress, where'd you get it?"

Garcia copied your excitement, "I bought it at this little store in the city, I love your dress, you look like a barbie doll!" You were wearing a long pink dress, pink flats, a white bag and a white blazer, you looked like the lawyer version of barbie if her hair was black. "Thanks! Haley bought me this dress for Christmas, said it suited me perfectly."

"You've met Haley?"

"And Jack," you nodded your head at Morgan, "I spend Christmas and my Birthday with them and Rossi."

"Do you not spend it with your family?"

"My family aren't exactly alive, Morgan. Well except my brother, but we haven't seen him in 7 years really, not since Hotch and Rossi found us. It's weird really, one second he was in our hotel room and the next he was gone, haven't heard from him since." You rambled as you stared at Reid, he looked so much different now, his hair was curly, he no longer wore glasses, he was a lot taller, he was hot.

"Pretty Boy will get over whatever that was soon, I promise."

"Well when your childhood friend who went missing 10 years ago shows up at your workplace, you'd usually be happy they're at least not dead." You mumbled, pushing past the team to walk over to Spencer, staring down at him as he continued ignoring you. "Can we talk?"

Spencer didn't even look up, instead he flipped the page of his book, aggressively, "I know it's weird for me to just show up here Spence, but please." He let out a sigh, putting his book down, "we can talk at the round table."

He walked you to another room, taking a seat at the round table, you left a few empty seats between you, "I didn't just leave, Spence, I promise. I didn't just stop responding to your letters."

"Then what the hell happened Audrey? Because last time I checked friends don't ignore each other."

"My parents were killed, Spence. And whoever did it kidnapped Lucas and I for two years, Rossi and Hotch found us 8 years ago, I wanted to reconnect with you I really did, but for my own safety the BAU brought me here."

Reid looked at you in shock, his face full of guilt, "Audrey.."

"That's not all, Lucas left the hotel room we were staying in 7 years ago and he hasn't come back Spence. None of us have seen, or heard anything, I was staying with either Hotch or Rossi for at least 3 years before I moved out after finishing college. I truly did try to find you, but I guess all I had to do was ask the people I was living with, I'm truly sorry."

Spence stood up from his seat, "and they still haven't caught the guy who did this? He's still out there?" You nodded your head, "I'm sorry for assuming, I shouldn't have, fuck." Reid tripped over a chair leg as he tried to walk towards you, falling on his back with a loud bang, "fuck!"

You let out a laugh, "it's nice to know you're still the same Klutz you were 10 years ago," you walked towards Reid, offering him a hand, he grabbed your hand, acting as if he was pulling himself up before pulling you down on top of him, the two of you face to face.

"Reid?" You whispered, staring at his lips as he licked them,

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Before he could answer, Reid's hand made its way to your head, pulling you towards him, your lips connecting in a sweet kiss. It was like you were made for eachother, the way your lips moved together slowly, the kiss getting more and more eager as Spencer slowly sat up, his hand on your waist to steady you.

The room was dark, but the light coming from the door opening startled you both apart, Morgan stood in the doorway, "yeah pretty boy, get it on!" He laughed, wincing when Emily slapped his head, grabbing the door and slowly closing it.

You and Spencer looked away from the door staring at each other in silence for a moment before bursting out laughing, hearing Morgan shouting for Hotch outside the door.

You both were smart enough to stand up, sitting two chairs apart as Hotch and Rossi slammed the door open, "everything alright in here?" Rossi asked slowly as Hotch stared at your faces.

"Yep, just catching up on the last ten years."

"Okay.." The two of the slowly closed the door, and you and Reid listened for the sound of receding footsteps before looking at each other again, laughing quietly when you heard Morgan shouting, "they were making out on top of each other!"

"They said they were catching up, Morgan." You heard Hotch scold him. "Don't believe me? Check the cameras!"

Your face turned red as you stared at the camera in the corner of the room, Reid following your gaze, "we're fucked."

#spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #bau team #criminal minds #hotchner #childhood memories #dr spencer reid #derek morgan #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #penelope garcia #matthew gray gubler fluff #matthew gray gubler

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sanityshorror · 2 years

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[The creepypasta ft Julius the Dressmaker by Sanity's Horror]

Julius the Dressmaker

(Previously: The Dressmaker From Hell)

I don't have much time left, he'll return any moment. It's beyond me how I'm still conscious, let alone alive. Even the smallest movement causes indescribable excruciating pain. However, I feel it necessary to push through this agony because everyone desperately needs to be warned of him. It's far too late to save myself, anyone who attempted to try would be embarking on a suicide mission. This is simply a warning I hope could save others. The fate of meeting this man, this demon, isn't something I would even wish on my worst enemy.

My name is Casey O'Sullivan. The events that lead to my predicament all truly began a long, long time ago. My youngest days, actually. Maybe even before my birth, this fate had been determined for me. The more I think about it, yes. It was inevitable I'd meet my maker at the hands of Julius Doherty. Hopefully, this will all make sense to you by the time you're done reading. I don't know if I'll be able to even finish telling my story before my imminent death. Forgive my rambling, I'm very foggy in the head. I've gotten ahead of myself. Let me get back to where I started.

Ever since I was a little girl, I'd dreamed about my wedding day. In fact, I actually began planning it as a child, going so far as to have my gown picked out by the time I was 8. After seeing a photo of my great, great grandmother on her wedding day, I knew I wanted a replica of the gown. As expected from a photo from 1890, it was rather low quality and unfortunately deteriorating. Every time I touched the image, another bit of ink seemed to fade or blur into nothingness. Despite this, I could still make out most of the details on the gorgeous dress. Given my determination to preserve the treasured image, I didn't look at it all too often. I'd made a great effort to keep the grainy photo from further eroding. Sealing the photo airtight in a Ziploc bag, I'd tucked it into a labeled envelope and kept it locked in my nightstand drawer.

Logan was my highschool sweetheart. We've been together ever since he asked me to junior year prom. He's the first and only boyfriend I had. In fact, we'd been close friends since childhood, so much so that both our parents joked about us marrying when we grew up.

It was a lovely day when Logan proposed to me. The location may not have seemed anything special to your average person, simply the gardens of our neighborhood park. However, for us, it was the park we'd played as children where we'd met nearly two decades ago.

Logan sat me on one of the aged swings that hung on the faded red set, the same swings that were nearly as old as we were. He'd gotten down on a knee in front of me and asked me to marry him, right there in the wood chips. Being the sentimental person I am, and how much thought he'd clearly put into the proposal, had me in tears of happiness. Of course, I said yes without hesitation.

It was at our engagement party when a tall, strawberry haired, well dressed man approached me. I felt like I knew him but couldn't quite place the name to his face, which was obscured by a pair of mirrored sunglasses despite being indoors. The scar on his neck stood out though, and I wracked my brain attempting to remember where I recognized him from.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Interrupting my thoughts and before I even could open my mouth, the man spoke quickly but confidently in a hushed tone, "I heard through the grapevine you wanted an authentic Victorian wedding dress. I know where you'll be able to get the perfect, handmade dress better than you could dream. I was sent by the owner to extend this offer, he says to consider it a personal invitation." He took my hand in his own, pressing a slip of paper into my palm before letting go.

Taken aback by the unexpected and sudden encounter with the stranger, I wasn't sure how to immediately respond. For a moment I just stared at him and blinked, then glanced down at the paper he'd given to me. On what appeared to be torn from a notebook page, the words 'Doherty's Dress Shop' had been scrawled, accompanied by what I assumed was the address, along with a date and time. It was only a few blocks away from my apartment yet initially I couldn't recall ever seeing it.

The man startled me as he suddenly spoke again, "It's the Victorian era styled boutique store," he told me, as if he'd read my thoughts.

Hearing that from him was all it took for me to suddenly remember the place. "Oh, yes! I've always been curious to pop in there and have a look, actually. Unfortunately the place has always either been closed or I was in too much a hurry when it was open."

The man smiled widely. "Well, you'll finally get the chance to do so. Simply show up on the time I wrote, the owner has it scheduled as a personal appointment for you."

That night, I debated whether to go to the shop, ultimately deciding to. Despite the odd invitation, it easily could be explained. Likely one of my sisters or close girl friends, all of whom would be bridesmaids, had gone to the shop to surprise me. Yes, that had to be it, given how many times I remembered bringing up the place and my curiosity of it. As for the unnamed stranger who'd given me the invite, I gave up trying to remember where I recognized him, reason being he obviously was an employee of the shop he'd invited me to.

Upon entering the store the following Saturday, I was greeted by a tall, flamboyant man who I assumed to be the owner.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

The heels of leather boots he wore clacked loudly, giving audio to his already striking appearance. Dressed in a button down shirt with shiny gold and blue stripes, it had an oddly pleasing clash with the dark yet bright purplish hair that framed his face, which reminded me of a porcelain doll. On his right cheek bone, a small, black heart had been tattooed beneath his eye.

With a soft, almost harmonic voice, he spoke to me, "I see you accepted my invitation, how wonderful to meet you, ma'am!" The man smiled gently, "and congratulations as well, on the engagement."

Offering my hand out to shake, "Nice to meet you. I've been looking forward to our appointment!"

He didn't take my hand, instead crossing his arms in a manner that felt a bit intimidating. However, the relaxed smile on his dollish face kept me at ease. "As have I! Your sister is acquainted with an employee of mine and happened to mention your wedding to him."

"Oh, yes, that would explain how you knew." Though it hadn't been exactly what I'd assumed previously, it made even more sense and calmed the bit of remaining anxiety I held.

"Mhm," the purple haired man nodded at me "I heard you had something specific in mind?"

"Yes, my great, great grandmother's dress," I reached into my purse to get the treasured photo, "I have a picture I brought with, in fact!"

The tall male wordlessly uncrossed his arms and held out a rather delicate hand. His long, slender fingers were manicured better than my own. I hesitated upon noticing how sharp his glossy, black nails appeared to be.

"Well?" he raised an eyebrow, "I can't read minds you know," the tone of the man's voice was playful and friendly. Once again, my worries were put at rest and I proceeded to hand him the photo.

Snatching it out my hand, the man studied the photo in silence with a blank face for well over a minute. I figured the faded and smudged ink of it was causing him to struggle to figure out whether he'd be able to replicate it accurately.

When he finally looked up at me again, the soft smile had returned to his face. "I can most certainly do that for you," the man spoke enthusiastically. "We'll make sure this dress both meets and exceeds your expectations. You must have a perfect dress for the big day, after all, weddings are always something to celebrate to the fullest extent. How about a lovely pair of white, leather ankle boots to match?"

I beamed, the idea sounding perfect. "Yes, absolutely! Thank you so much!" I had agreed without a second thought.

The photograph was handed back to me. I looked down to inspect the old picture in my hand, expecting to see another mark of wear. Oddly enough, not only was it in the condition it had been previously, the ink actually appeared less faded than before and wrinkles not as noticable. I would have thought more about the weird predicament of the photo, if it hadn't only then occurred, "What's your name, I don't think I caught it?"

However, by the time I looked back, the dark haired male had disappeared. Shuffling through my bag I took out the appointment card which I'd received at the engagement shower. Though I didn't remember any name being on it before, I was surprised to find it had been scrawled on the bottom: Julius Doherty. The name rang a distant bell in my mind, though I couldn't place it.

Tilting my head back up to look for the man who had seemed to vanish in thin air, I was startled to find he now stood directly in front of me.

"Do you believe in God, Casey?" Julius asked softly. His icy blue eyes locked on my own, catching me in a stare down I couldn't escape from.

I blinked at the question, confused at not only the seemingly instantaneous, silent way he'd moved but also baffled at the sudden curiosity in my faith. "Yes," I answered carefully.

"You believe in heaven and hell?" Julius asked in a manner that felt a bit more like an interrogation.

Nodding, I answered, "of course."

"Where would you rather go?" the man asked in a tone that filled me with dread despite the gentleness of his voice.

"Heaven, of course," I told him.

Julius chuckled, shaking his head to himself as if I'd said some joke and motioned me to follow. "Very well, let's go measure you for your gown now, dear. We must make sure it's just perfect!"

As odd as the man's behavior was, I foolishly wrote it off. Chalked it all up to his obvious eccentric and rather quirky personality. Julius was odd, certainly, but as he began to casually chat with me about life and latest celebrity gossip, the strange aspects of him were forgotten. As our lighthearted conversation flowed while he'd taken my measurements, he began to feel like an old friend. Julius was friendly, sweet and kind, even. He decided to make the veil for my wedding gown free of charge and when I pushed back, he insisted.

Once we'd finished covering all the bases for my wedding attire and scheduled my next appointment, Julius saw me out. He walked me to the door and held it for me, a real gentleman.

"You get home safe, now, Casey," he'd told me, opening the door into what I only now realized was early night. I could have sworn I'd been there no longer than two hours at most.

"I will, thank you again, really! Just gotta give Logan a call and let him know I'm alright, he must be worried," I reached to take my phone out. 8:30pm. How the heck had it been over eight hours?!

"You can just blame me," Julius chuckled lightheartedly. "I shouldn't have kept you so long chatting. Time is an odd thing."

I didn't understand exactly what he meant by the last part so I just agreed, as I was running late already and didn't have the time to ask for an explanation. "It is. Alright, I must be going now. I'll see you in a month for the fitting appointment, Julius!" I smiled and gave a wave goodbye. Julius returned the gesture before disappearing into the shop, while I began my trip home.

The appointment for the fitting of my gown had been scheduled for exactly one month later. Today. I woke up this morning thrilled, clueless to the hell, quite literally, I would be walking into.

It was raining and despite leaving a bit early, the weather caused me to run late, albeit only by a few minutes. I was half soaked once I made it into the shop, which seemed to be scented by fresh roses.

"You're late," Julius's voice alerted me to his presence. His tone was flat and he appeared to be rather unpleased by my tardiness.

"My apologies, Mr Doherty, I left early actually. I'm excited for today!" I held my hand out to shake with an apologetic smile.

Upon hearing me, a small smile spread across Julius's face, though it appeared very forced. Rather than returning the offered handshake, the tall male simply crossed his arms across his chest as he'd done our previous meeting. "I, as well, have been looking forward to showing you the dress I've made for you." He turned on the heel of his boot, walking towards the back of his shop and motioning me to follow. "No need for such formalities between us, yes? It's just fine for you to address me as Julius."

"Alright, then, Julius," I agreed, following along, admiring the dresses and various accessories that the shop was packed with.

"Every customer of mine is special to me and means a great deal," he told me as he walked over to a curtain hung in a circle, obscuring whatever was behind it from view.

"You're a kind man," I'd chuckled.

"Oh, you're far too sweet, my dear," he laughed lightly.

For some reason, his reaction made a pit of dread form in my stomach. However, I didn't have more than a second to register it. At the same moment, he whipped open the curtain to reveal the mannequin that modeled what would be my wedding wear.

What immediately caught my attention was how life-like the mannequin appeared to be. A woman, strikingly similar to Julius's own appearance, down to the doll-like face. However, her eyes were ocean blue instead of the near white, icy blue of the dressmaker's.

"Do you like it?" Julius's voice cut through my distraction.

I looked at the gown finally and was taken aback by just how perfect it was. The attention to detail was stunning. Each bead and sequin was placed flawlessly in a manner that could have only been done by hand. The dress successfully made me forget about the oddness of the mannequin that wore it.

"Yes!" I nodded, blinking back tears of joy, "I love it! It's-"

"-perfection." Julius cut me off, finishing my sentence for me. The man smiled proudly at my reaction to his hard work.

"Beyond perfection, thank you, Julius," I beamed at him.

"Shall we get you in the gown to make sure it fits properly, then?" Julius began unbuttoning the gown to remove it from the mannequin, leaving it in a plain underdress slip.

"That sounds wonderful!" I agreed.

Julius showed me over to the dressing room. I changed into the dress in privacy, emerging only once I was ready for him to help button up the back and tie the corset for me.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Bringing me over to a mirror, Julius helped me on a small platform.

"You remind me so much of my sister," Julius hummed to me in his soft voice, "look just like she did on her wedding day."

He did up the buttons of the dress.

"Oh, you have a sister?" I asked while admiring myself in the gorgeous, hand crafted gown. It was so flawlessly made that may have as well have been a true Victorian era vintage dress.

The corset was laced and tightened to the extent I could hardly breathe.

"I did," the man sighed, placing the lace veil upon my head. Julius stood behind as he adjusted it, while I watched both our reflections in the mirror.

"Did?"

A sad smile on the dressmaker's face was visible. "Yes," Julius spoke, "but she's dead now." There was something about the way sweetness dripped from the words that made my stomach twist.

"I'm sorry to hear," I turned my head to look him in the eyes while expressing my condolences.

"Don't be," Julius's voice grew softer and sickeningly sweet, "she was a real bitch." To my horror, his sad smile warped into a demented grin, showing razor sharp teeth that were inhuman.

"Excuse me?!" I attempted to back away but didn't get very far as I stumbled on the long gown.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

The sound Julius's boots made was deafening as he stepped forward, grabbing my wrist and digging, what I realized in terror were claws, into my flesh. Julius's expression grew unsettlingly gentle again as he spoke, "just as I said, she was exactly like you. No worries, though, my dear Casey! I'll turn you perfect just as I did for her!"

Those words made it click why the mannequin which had modelled my dress resembled the man, the demon, in front of me. That…had been his sister.

I yanked my arm out of his grip in disgust and fear, adrenaline helping me ignore the pain of his claws ripping through my skin. Julius just stood there, watching me with icy, dead eyes and an unreadable expression as I backed up, clutching my injured arm to my chest.

"You…you fucking monster!" I spat.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

I'd made him angry, furious. He reached a clawed hand out towards me again but I managed to just escape it, making a mad dash towards the door.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

I tried the handle but it was stuck, locked. I was trapped.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

I felt my stomach drop as outside the glass, the world blurred and faded until it was nothing but black. It was surreal to witness, as if suddenly everything had been drowned in the darkest ink. There was truly nothing beyond the window panes of the shop.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

"Unfortunately, heaven was never an option for you," Julius hummed.

Clack! Clack Clack!

He was right behind me now. "You're in Hell, Casey."

"Let me go!" I screamed, turning to face my capture.

Julius didn't respond, he simply raised a hand and struck me across the face with enough force I fell to the ground. Something heavy hit my head, there was a searing pain, and then my own vision faded to black just as the world outside the shop had.

I awoke strapped down on the surgery table in the most severe pain of my life. The stench of blood was mixed with the overpowering sweet scent of rotting roses. Looking down at my body, I realized to my horror, I was missing multiple patches of skin. Though I was still dressed in the gown, the fabric had simply been removed along with my flesh beneath. The amount of anguish my body was in prevented me from being able to tell if I was dreaming or not. I was still groggily coming back to reality when I heard the unmistakable sound.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

The clacking of the dressmaker's heels alerted me to his presence. My vision was blurry from pain but I could make out he carried a large pair of old, rusting and dulled but jagged scissors. The blood covering him confirmed that he indeed had skinned me.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Julius leaned over me while threading a long needle. He almost was singing as he softly spoke, "Pain is perfection…and you'll be perfect forever…here, with me…in Hell."

I wrongfully interpreted this as him possibly wanting company, a friend. "I'll stay, be your friend even! Just don't kill me like this! Please!" I begged, "we can forget about all this and just chat and gossip and-"

Suddenly enraged, Julius cut me off with a smack across the face, snapping loudly, "what in the damn world would make you think I want your friendship, you worthless slut?! You'll be perfect company for me, once you're dead and cannot speak!"

Shocked and in even more pain, I didn't have a chance to respond, as he instantly switched back to a calm and relaxed demeanor.

"Why are you doing this?!" I finally managed to ask between tortured screams.

"Oh, I'm simply making you your wedding dress, my dear." Julius's voice dripped with sickening sweetness. The gentle smile on his lips contrasted with the pure maliciousness in his cold, dead eyes was enough to make bile rise in my throat.

I forced down a gag, choking out, "what?!"

"Skin is such a lovely fabric," Julius hummed the words with a content sigh, stepping next to the makeshift surgery table I was tied to.

The man stared down at me silently for a good minute before slowly lifting his hand which held the scissors into the air. As if to put on a display, he used his index finger and thumb to hold up the large, worn scissors. He smiled for a brief moment before his expression changed into one of focus with pure evil intentions.

Without waiting another second, the demon took the scissors to my skin, cutting in effortlessly. He seemed deaf screams of pain, like he'd tuned me out while going about his slow, torturous work. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain as the old, razor sharp scissors unceremoniously tore into my flesh repeatedly. My vision blackened again and everything spun. For a brief moment I thought I'd be spared from any further agony before my death.

Then, just as my eyes drifted shut and everything faded, I heard his voice. "Oh Casey, wakey wakey!" followed by a painful jab of a large needle into my arm. A sudden, searing pain shot into my body followed by an intense wave of energy and euphoria. I looked over, becoming even more disturbed upon realizing his actions. It was a large syringe that he'd stabbed into my arm, obviously to inject some sort of drug into me.

"We can't let our bride fall asleep on her special day!" Julius sneered in the most gut wrenching sugar sweet voice.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, demon?!" I spat, energized by whatever concoction he'd given me enough to ignore the pain a bit.

"Nothing is wrong with me, my dear," Julius spoke softly in a tone that sounded like he genuinely believed the words. "The only problem here is you, in fact." He talked while continuing to cut into both my dress and skin.

My throat was raw from screaming in agony. The pain had become so blinding I was not sure whether I was beginning to fail to register it completely or if it simply encapsulated my entire existence.

"You see," Julius kept talking. When I didn't look at him, he smacked me across the face with a bloody, clawed hand, "hey! You look at me when I speak, goddamn worthless bitch!" The demon dug his claws into my cheeks, making me turn my head towards him. Shockingly, Julius looked rather calm. "That's better." He patted my cheek then returned to cutting my body. "As I was saying, to make sure your dress is actually perfect and fits flawlessly, I have a trick."

"Oh lemme guess? You sew it right on me?" I managed the sarcastic comment through my misery. My brain ran at warp speed, fueled by whatever amphetamines had been given to me.

"That's exactly right!" Julius responded, delighted. "No need for new hair, so we won't have to scalp you," he smiled, "that's always a very painful process, no one has lived through that. You've actually lived much, much longer than most. I must say, I am impressed, Casey."

"Fuck you!" I spat.

"Such rude language," he responded as if he hadn't been throwing around curses moments ago. "And to think, in response to compliments? A 'thank you, Julius,' would be much more appropriate." He punctuated his words by cutting into my waistline.

"Stop!" I screamed, thrashing about in the restraints.

"Got to make your waist smaller if we want perfection, dear," he patted my cheek again with a blood soaked hand. "No worries, though, we'll get you right stitched up, we will!" A large needle pierced into my skin and I could feel the thread tugging my body into the shape he desired.

"For the love of God, stop, please!" I begged as tears streamed freely down my face.

"There's no God here, Casey, you're in Hell," he repeated his earlier words as he finished stitching me. The other side of my waist was given the same treatment, though I could tell he purposely was taking his time. His expression gave away how much he enjoyed my suffering.

Finally, once Julius was finished, he straightened up right. The noise of his boots could be heard as he backed away.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

"Time to put your boots on you!" Julius declared, moving to the foot of the table.

"Huh?!"

With a grin, the man held up a hatchet for me to see before raising it into the air, preparing to deliver a strike.

"Don't, please-" I never got a chance to finish my sentence.

In one, brutal but clean blow, the limb was severed. I didn't even realize I'd been screaming until I felt a hot iron press against the stump to cauterize it. That feeling was what caused me to screech so loud my vocal cords blew out.

Julius spoke as took his large needle and thread back up, "finally, you've shut the fuck up, thank goodness." With quick yet small pristine stitches, he sewed a white boot over the injury to replace where my foot had been.

I glared the best I could through the torture and my tears, ignoring excruciating misery I was in to give him the middle finger.

Julius simply rolled his eyes and stretched his shoulders before giving my other foot the same treatment as the first. This time he seemed to work quicker, almost in a rush. I couldn't scream but I didn't even want to anymore. Instead, I silently wept and accepted my fate.

….Clack! ....Clack! ….Clack!

He backed away again, covered in my blood. Julius wiped his face down with a cloth then told me, "Usually I prefer to do all my work in one go," he told me as he stared, seemingly admiring what he'd done to me. "However, I have a matter I must attend to briefly."

I must have given him the most baffled expression because he grinned and patted my cheek. "Oh, I'll be back Casey, don't you worry about that." Julius undid the one of the cuffs which had restrained my wrists down. The man took my hand in his own, placing what I realized was my phone in it. "Go ahead and amuse yourself while I'm gone, there is WiFi in Hell." And with that he turned on his heel and walked away.

Clack! Clack! Clack! Bang!

Julius had left the room, slamming the heavy door behind himself in what seemed like a rage.

That leads me to where I am now, typing this out, trying to finish in time before he returns. It's been well over an hour.

Before I began writing this, I spent a brief bit of time searching up his name. After browsing various results, I discovered something that disturbed me deeply. His sister…Annabella O'Sullivan, she's my great, great grandmother. And she…she killed him, back in 1898. Behind his shop, she murdered Julius single bullet to the face. Which I realized is right where his heart tattoo now sat. It was only a few weeks later Annabella disappeared under mysterious circumstances, along with her husband, my great, great grandfather. Their children had been left orphaned, which explains why I'm here today.

What led her to kill him remains a mystery to me. Maybe he'd hurt her…or maybe, just maybe, could she have done something that warranted her to meet the same ending which I soon will?

These questions will never be something I'll find the answer to. I don't have much time left. Once Julius returns, it's inevitable my death will come swiftly. I'm already bleeding out. My vision is turning hazy and I'm beginning to no longer be able to think straight.

I'm no longer afraid. Telling my story has come to set me at ease with my fate. The pain has faded to numbness. I'm already at peace, knowing this will all be over shortly.

One final time, I must beg of you: do not fall for this demon's tricks and trap. Don't fall for his disguise as harmless, he's anything but that. Should you be invited to a place by a tall man with a scarred neck, don't speak to him and run away as fast as you can. I figured out once you engage, these monsters can plant false memories. I never knew this shop, in fact, it never was here before I was invited. And if you can't, then may Lord have mercy on your soul. I met the Dressmaker from Hell, I hope you never do.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Please, tell my family, friends and fiance, Logan, that I love them all, so very much.

Clack! Clack! Clack!

Sincerely,

Casey O'Sullivan

…Clack! …Clack! ….Clack! …BANG!

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charlesandmiranda · 3 months

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Asakusa Adventures part one:

2/1 dinner with friends and 2/2 Senso-ji Temple

After leaving Ochanomizu, Charles and I took the train to Asakusa, our next stop in Tokyo. We had dinner plans to meet with a friend and her family that night, and we planned to explore the area the following day (which is yesterday, at the time of writing!)

Our friend, Penko, her husband As'maria, and two sons took us to Asakusa Ichimon, which is a super traditional restaurant. It was featured in the movie Shin Ultraman which came out in 2022, and Charles really wanted to visit it as a film location, but before we could even mention it to her, she was already suggesting that we should all go together, and so we did!

The interior was amazing, I wish we had taken more photos. Taking photos inside establishments can sometimes be difficult, privacy is much more significant of a cultural consideration than in the US and we don't want to take photos of other patrons. It was a lot of gorgeous, dark wood, short, low to the ground tables, tatami mats, and floor chairs. There was a super zen, indoor water feature too, which was pretty cool, to put it mildly.

I don't even begin to know how to describe how tasty the food was; there was a huge menu of sakes (Japanese style alcohol, think sort of like a "rice wine" even though that's not strictly accurate) and shochu (more like a liquor), almost all, if not all of which, we'd never seen before in the states. The entire meal was a like...5 course experience, starting with a small appetizer of fruit, tofu, fish egg and beans (in honor of the Setsubun holiday, which is today [2/3] at time of writing!) all the way to a hot pot of tuna, leek, mushrooms and more. Genuinely everything was like, beyond delicious, and it was sooooo much food, without ever making us feel like we were totally gonna pop (although it was close). There was also a beef dish mid meal that was the first beef Charles had eaten in close to two decades, and it was worth it.

It was also really really special to get to spend the time getting to know Penko and her family better; I first met her here on tumblr actually, maybe....gosh, I don't know, 8 years ago? give or take a year? through a mutual fandom (we were both fans of a specific pairing in a video game called Danganronpa, where she was a very popular fan-artist at the time). Since then, we've met her in Japan a few times on trips, and we've slowly gotten to know her family over the last few years. After our engagement, Penko actually drew some lovely art for us as a congratulations; if you were at our wedding, we had it displayed near our guestbook :P

The following day, we spent exploring around our Airbnb in Asakusa, as well as visiting Tokyo Skytree. Our stay was on the second floor, above a restaurant, right in the heart of the district.

We started the morning early at Cafe Royal, a super old-school Showa-era coffee shop built in the early 1960s. We had coffees and breakfast there, and their specialty Royal Coffee has to have been one of the best coffees I've ever had. It almost reminded me of dark chocolate in terms of its acidity and smoothness. It was truly awesome.

Afterwards, we spent some time shopping at Uniqlo, a Japanese clothing store (there are some in the states too, if you're curious!) My favorite pair of jeans ripped badly on the plane, and I wanted to replace them, so I bought a new pair at Uniqlo, as well as some of their warm layering clothing, which they're well known for, to stave off the February chill. Charles also got some warm winter wear, so we're both totally topped off for the rest of the trip with trendy heat-tech goodies.

We also wandered around the streets and streets and STREETS of Asakusa's extensive shopping and food district surrounding the massive, gorgeous Senso-ji temple. One thing I love about Japan is that these huge shopping districts often have covered roofs over the streets so even if it's raining or kinda crappy weather, you can still walk freely across blocks without too much trouble. We were mostly window shopping, but we definitely stopped for a few treats.

From there, we headed to Tokyo Skytree, stay tuned for our next post!

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natteryaktoad · 26 days

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Sorority, Day 85, Part 8

Clover: Why did you and Sadie move out into that back room? Sure, it's got a bathroom attached, but it's no bigger than the front room.

Ellie: Yeah, but it's the lesbian room, Sadie says. The last two sets of residents have been couples, so... tradition.

Natasha: Sue? It's your cousin, Natasha.... that's the one. I'm at LGU, and I wondered if you wanted to meet up?

Sue: It's so good to see you again after all this time!

Sue: You weren't quite three the last time I saw you, I think. You had this doll you were obsessed with-

Natasha: Camila. I still have her!

Sue: I was a few months pregnant with my eldest daughter, so I spent most of the visit throwing up... I can't believe how long ago that was now!

Natasha: You know my dad didn't actually go to jail, right? Just spent the night in the cells.

Sue: Yeah, I figured. I know my parents don't see yours much because of it, and I guess I just never tried to visit on my own. I was pretty busy having kids after that, anyway.

Natasha: Yeah, my dad said you got married and moved to Widespot after you graduated, so I thought when I came to LGU I'd look you up - I'm sorry it took so long. What's your husband's name, again? I remember he spent a lot of that visit playing with me.

Sue: Luis. We're divorced now, though. But... Luis has always been good with kids. We've got five - Luisa, Susana, Freddy, Jose and Gaby.

Natasha: Is Freddy short for Federico or something? It's not a very Spanish name.

Sue: No... it's a long story - but basically, Luis had an affair. But Freddy's mum's in jail now, and I've always been his Mami. I'd adopt him if I could. But enough about me - tell me about you.

Sue: ... So I think you'll be graduated before Luisa starts, but her boyfriend, Shawn, will be here next semester.

Natasha: I'll keep an eye out for him.

Natasha: It's been nice getting to know you, Prima Sue. Can we hang out again soon?

Sue: I'd like that. You should come to dinner and meet my kids.

In the morning, I decided it was about time Natasha met her cousin, Sue. (Natasha's dad is Sue's dad's much younger brother, and a bit of a black sheep in the family. Natasha was born about the time Sue went to college).

#Widespot #LGU #Day 85 #Sadie Pons #Natasha Casa #Clover Knowe #Ellie Orphan

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lolohe12 · 10 months

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In honor of Good Omens Season 2 coming out I'm sharing my Very long and ever increasing Ineffable Husband's playlist

Somebody to Love - By Queen: "Take a look in the mirror and cry. Lord, what you're doing to me? I have spent all my years in believing you but I just can't get no relief, Lord... Can anybody find me somebody to love?"

2. (You're The) Devil in Disguise - By Elvis Presley: "You look like an angel. Walk like an angel. Talk like an angel. But I got wise. You're the devil in disguise"

3. Rewrite The Stars - From The Greatest Showman: "No one can say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours tonight"

4. Old Devil Moon - By Frank Sinatra: "Just when I think, I'm free as a dove Old devil moon, deep in your eyes blinds me with love"

5. Earth Angel - By The Penguins: Earth angel, Earth angel, will you be mine? My darling dear, love you all the time. I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you"

6. From Eden - By Hozier: "Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago. Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword. Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know. I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door"

7. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - By Queen: "Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely (One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine o'clock) I will pay the bill, you taste the wine. Driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely. Just take me back to yours that will be fine"

8. Take This Waltz - By Leonard Cohen: "And I'll yield to the flood of your beauty. My cheap violin and my cross. And you'll carry me down on your dancing to the pools that you lift on your wrist. Oh my love, oh my love take this waltz, take this waltz. It's yours now, it's all that there is"

9. A Thousand Years - By Christina Perri: "I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more"

10. Black Wedding - By In This Moment Ft. Rob Halford: "I would've loved you for a thousand years. I would've died for you. I would've sacrificed it all my dear. I would've bled for you 'Til death do us part. You were unholy right from the start It's a nice night for a black wedding."

11. Transatlanticism - By Deathcab for Cutie: "The Atlantic was born today, and I'll tell you how. The clouds above opened up and let it out... I need you so much closer"

12. All This and Heaven Too - By Florence and The Machine: "All this heaven never could describe such a feeling as I'm hearing. Words were never so useful so I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before"

13. Sun and Moon - By Jon Walker: "I could have been a lot of things. I could have seen the world with broken wings. You're the only one who understands. Yeah, you're the only one who understands"

14. When The Day Met The Night - By Panic! At The Disco: "When the sun found the moon she was drinking tea in a garden, under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer"

15. Still Into You - By Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox: "Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together. I need the other one to hold you make you feel, make you feel better"

16. Come With Me - By Chxrlotte: "And after six thousand years, if the world disappears I'd fight angels and demons to find you, my dear. I hear heavenly sounds in my head when you're near. I'm alright now you're here"

17. Halo - By Ane Brun: "It's like I've been awakened. Every rule I had you breaking, It's the risk that I'm taking I ain't never gonna shut you out"

18. Like Real People Do - By Hozier: " Iwill not ask you where you came from. I will not ask you, neither should you. Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips. We should just kiss like real people do"

19. Time After Time - By Iron & Wine: "If you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time. If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting time after time"

20. Longer - By Dan Fogelberg: "Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean, higher than any bird ever flew, longer than there've been stars up in the heavens, I've been in love with you"

21. The Book of Love - By Peter Gabriel: "The book of love is long and boring and written very long ago. It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes and things we're all too young to know"

22. Heaven in a Place on Earth - By Belinda Carlisle: "In this world, we're just beginnin' to understand the miracle of livin'.Baby, I was afraid before but I'm not afraid anymore"

23. And I Love Him - by Benjamin Gibbard: Bright are the stars that shine dark is the sky. I know this love of mine will never die. And I love him"

24. You're my Best Friend - By Queen: Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had. I've been with you such a long time. You're my sunshine and I want you to know t hat my feelings are true I really love you. Oh, you're my best friend"

25. A Nightingale Sang In Barkley Square - By Tori Amos: "There were angels dancing at the Ritz. And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square"

#Playlist #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphel #good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #aziraley #azirowley #fan playlist #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #my playlist #Spotify

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rhokisb · 1 year

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DnD Universe Wipe

So we gone done fucked up.

All the characters that our group plays under our other DM (not me) exist within one universe, called Weyard. We didn't always know that but eventually it became apparent that our alternative characters were crossing paths with our mains, which was a fun development, right?

Wrong.

So, REWIND:

Two weeks ago, our main campaign (Weyard for the other DM) reached a very important point in our campaign. We were tasked with trying to bring another member back from the dead. This other member was someone we met while doing a one-shot WITH OUR MAIN CHARACTERS, but who did not travel with us after this point. So we all knew and remembered him, but hadn't seen him in awhile. We learned of his death, and confirmed that he was dead prior to being tasked with bringing him back.

We were given the chance to bring him back through a complicated ritual which would grant us one of 2 remaining wishes that exist in the universe. This was a once in a lifetime chance, and we were

EXTENSIVELY. WARNED. THAT. THIS. WAS. A. ONE. AND. DONE.

So we get to the area where we could do the ritual, three of our party members go forth to try and do the trials to get the wish. They succeed. Again:

WE. WERE. WARNED. EXTENSIVELY. THAT. THIS. WAS. OUR. ONLY. CHANCE.

To make our wish come true everyone in the party would have to wish for the same thing. "The effort given will be reflected in the reward".

Well fuck me sideways, you wanna know how that went?

In our party of 8, 3 of the people did not wish for the same thing as the rest of the group.

Wished for a fucking Dragon. For no reason. Absolutely none. Without anyone else wishing for it he never would have gotten it. He did not wish for it outloud, so none of us knew what he wished for in-game, only that he wouldn't tell us what he wished for.

Wished for her dead kids back. Understandable and it was a fear we all had when the rules were explained to us. Our group trusted her to do the right thing, and she failed.

Wished that "his friend's wishes come true".

The rest of us put our hearts and souls into wishing the dearly departed back.

Flash forward to this weekend:

We are all still at the ritual spot, immediately my character (Orlogg) and his best friend (Dante) picked up the gnome (Passmae, who wished for the Dragon) and beat the shit out of him because he wouldn't tell us what he wished for. He's been sketchy at other moments too, and this was the final straw. We then confirmed with the dude running the trials that Passmae was ONE of the reasons we failed. We beat the shit out of him. He's been unconscious for 5 in-game days because every time he moves we beat him unconscious again (partly because, OF COURSE THE DUDE WHO RUINED THE CAMPAIGN COULDN'T MAKE THE SESSION).

Vestare, who wished for her children back, we...had words with. Words along the lines of:

"We're not mad, we're hurt that you literally act like you're alone all the time. You're not alone. We've been together through this entire bullshit saga of events since we first met. If you ASKED we would all go to the ends of the world to get your kids back. You only need to say the word. None of us, including you, can do this alone. Believe in us like we believe in you."

Dank, who had a vague wish, was ignored completely (also not at session).

Orlogg (me) decided to take some hallucinogens at the ritual site and was greeted by Fate and Destiny. Not the gods of fate and destiny, but the actual incarnations of all of Fate and all of Destiny. Beholden to none. Orlogg begged them for assistance and was told that,

F&D: "Every time we meddle, we make things worse. Every time we help, your odds of success diminish. There's a balance that needs to be maintained, and every time we tip it, it is never in our favour."

O: "What can I give to even the scales?"

F&D: "You're not the only one who will have to give. Soon, someone very close to you, will be in dire need of help and when that day comes, you two will both have to give, and HE will never be the same."

O: "Will that help? Or will it just keep things even?"

F&D: "Tough to say. It will help bring the departed back."

O: "Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Before I go, I just want to say thanks for everything you've already done." *Motions to fist bump them*

F&D: *One of them reaches to fist bump and as our knuckles touch they whisper* "I'm sorry."

Which was cryptic and terrifying because Orlogg cares deeply about his best friend Dante, so clearly they meant his BFF.

Well as we traveled to return and report our failure to a Cleric of Life, Dante just starts whipping out a skull that he's had hidden for months (in-game) in his backpack and starts talking to it, and can't seem to stop holding it. We all remember the player picking up the skull, but none of our characters saw it when it happened months ago.

We get back to the temple and the man who gave us the chance, and he loses his shit. Basically just tells us:

"You're the reason that the world will end. There is no hope. You've stolen everything from every single person, creature, whatever in this world. It's over. We've lost. We wasted one of the very precious last wishes for the world. And that failure spells doom for the entire world."

The skull begins talking. It is the skull of Memnoch--one of the side characters of Dante who died during a different campaign (which is why Dante picked up to begin with, cause the player meta knew that was her skull). Memnoch tells Dante that there is one more last chance, and explains how to do it.

This includes that ONLY the people who can be "trusted" can accompany Dante on this quest. The party must be split and this "event" will happen elsewhere. So the five of us who wished properly have left the rest of the group on a separate secret mission.

THEN, the DM informed us that failure during this quest will result in the entire universe being wiped. That means our main characters, our side characters, everything that isn't my Dragonlance campaign: gone. Everyone is dead. Including the OTHER GROUP OF PLAYERS who is also playing in our universe on the same quest that we are supposed to link up with for the end BBEG fight (I think its over 15 characters vs. the BBEG).

So there were tears and now the five of us have been having massive anxiety over this upcoming secret session to save the universe. Not the world. The universe.

(THIS LAST CHANCE ONLY HAPPENED BECAUSE THE WOMAN WHO PLAYS DANTE MESSAGED THE DM OUTSIDE OF GAME TWO WEEKDS AGO AND ASKED IF THERE WAS ANYTHING DANTE COULD DO TO FIX THE FAILURE AFTER WE ALL CLEARLY KNEW WE FAILED BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO WISH FOR A FUCKING DRAGON! HIS ORIGINAL INTENT WAS WE WERE ALL GOING TO KEEP PLAYING FOR MONTHS AND THEN THE END FIGHT WE WOULD JUST...LOSE. WE LOST 3 MONTHS AGO WHEN WE FAILED ON THE MOUNTAIN. BUT HE'S DECIDED TO GIVE US ONE LAST CHANCE WITHOUT THE PROBLEM PLAYER.)

Our DM everyone. Master of emotional devastation.

To find out what happened next, check the links below:

Dante's No Good Horrible Awful Bad Vacation (AKA: The Universe Wipe) Part 1

Dante's No Good Horrible Awful Bad Vacation (AKA: The Universe Wipe) Part 2

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wujico · 2 months

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8 months. gone. i feel really selfish lol. here comes a trauma dump/ fun story :p around two years ago, my online best friend of (at the time) three years, suddenly up and blocked me out of nowhere, with no explanation. at the time, i was between friend groups and was completely friendless irl. (they had actually helped me leave my toxic friend group, promising i would have them if i left them). welp they lied and blocked me and didn't offer an explanation 😀😀 i was alone. i cut, i attempted multiple times, and i kept wondering what i did wrong. they blocked me, so i must have hurt them is what i told myself. that entire time i blamed it on myself: "this is why i have no friends" and "i'm the reason everyone leaves me". bla bla bla. basically i had to learn to live life without anybody while dealing with mental health problems and a bunch of undiagnosed shit. flash forward i think close to seven months??? i was getting dreams about them constantly during the time they blocked me; i would imagine they would come back and explain everything and i'd wake up crying when it wasn't true. rinse and repeat. but then i met my best friend irl .... they were the best thing that happened to me. i finally started to get over my other friends- including the one who blocked me. i went to therapy, i stopped cutting for a while etc etc etc wow i am going on and on about backstory that doesn't even matter. anyway, seven months later after i was finally beginning to heal (my green blocked number texts turned from "im so sorry i hurt you" to "fuck you".) well... suddenly they unblocked me. i had the worst panic attack of my life, cut myself, went into a state where i couldnt tell if it was another dream. but.. im a people pleaser by nature. i said it was fine (it wasnt). i told them they didnt hurt me (they did) i agreed we could start over. that was back in 2022.... its been a bit now. we've met up irl (my first time flying alone whoooo). we've gotten in a qpr..things are better! and i really love them. but anyway, tonight they sent me a full ass document of what really happened when they were gone / what lead up to them cutting me off. it was.... a painful read. mostly because they went through so much trauma, pain and manipulation which i wont say here because its bad and its a lot. so thats why i feel selfish!! because even tho theyre sharing this with me, i can only think about pain i went through when they left me so suddenly. i also found out they left me because one of their new friends thought i was a bad person. they threw out all the gifts i ever got for them, they didnt even give me one text for an explanation. i thought they fucking died at first. i even found out that they were purposly distancing themself from me months before they even blocked me- all because of this new friend. they picked that friend over me... so i feel hurt. is that bad? i feel like a bad person. anyway lol i just found out after they blocked their bad friend ... they came crawling back to me. i dont know... it feels like i was just a rebound– they had nothing so they went to someone they knew would give them everything if they asked for it– me.

i just found this all out and read about all their trauma. i dont deserve to even feel upset about this but i am. im so selfish. btw for content, their friend and them blocked me and thought i was bad because "deities" from their "desired reality" (yes they were shifters) told them i was a bad person. (they even asked their pendulum about me!!! 😃😃😃)

so yeah abyway thats my trauma dump for the day since i cant talk to anyone about it

I AM SO SORRY IF YOU READ THROUGH THIS ALL

#storytime #mental illness #depressing shit #digital diary #send help #im dying #im gonna die

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jandjsalmon · 1 year

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2023 FFRC - April 🌷

It's finally hammock weather in Western Canada, folks! And we've been enjoying watching the hockey playoffs from the patio entertainment area we set up once the snow melted - well, I don't know if the word "enjoying" should be used when the team we hate most in the world is moving on to the 2nd round - but it's been exciting anyway.

We've also been sick at our house for most of the month but we're finally starting to come out of it. My Bethy still sounds like Miley Cyrus when she talks - but other than some low-key coughs, she's no longer down with a fever, so we're happy about that.

Continuing along - it's rugby season - so that means a lot of driving to away games to cheer on the Spartans (which means a LOT of reading). I've read more this month than I have ever read. I was also really focused on finishing up the 'extreme' tasks at the @fanfic-reading-challenge - and I finished a few days ago. I'll keep going until I've completed all the tasks in the challenge but I can do that over the course of the rest of the year. 🎉

Below the cut are my stats and some fun fic recs for you. Enjoy!

April 2023

So as you can see, this month I read 2.3 million words, cracking over 7 mill total - and read 922 chapters (of various lengths), and 107 full (and sometimes long) stories. I was working on some fandom challenges and let me tell you - it was harder than it looked!

As for my recs for you! Try these - you might enjoy them. 🖤🖤

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Wonderwall by junkpuppet225 (Carmy/OC - M 11/11)

Summary: Carmy meets Mia at a Al-Anon meeting. She’s going through a similar situation and they become friends. Can he get out of his own head long enough to embrace the feelings he’s starting to have for her or will living in his brothers shadow cause him to miss out on a chance at love? Carmy/OC

Why you should read: THE BEAR FANFICTION! I'm not a Carmy/Sydney fangirl and that is what this fandom is saturated with, so I was HAPPY to find that someone wrote a story where Carmy meets a girl at an meeting and they just GET each other. And neither one is a perfect human - she doesn't SAVE him from himself or anything. They just bear each other's burdens and are THERE for eachother. This is just gorgeous.

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Hello, Sunshine by Wonderlandleighleigh (Lenny/Midge - M 20/20)

Summary: It's June of 1962, and to celebrate being a year clean, Lenny rents a little house in Malibu, inviting Midge to join him.

Why you should read: I got back on my nonsense with the season premiere of TMMM and since I got 3 minutes of Lenny and now have to wait like 8 episodes to see him again, I thought I'd reread old favourites. This one is set post S4 sometime in the future - when Lenny has been in rehab and wants to make things right with Midge. It's SO good and captures their characters perfectly and makes me want to sit on the beach with good friends (and a handsome Jewish comic).

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Love in the Time of Quarantine by @melanoradrood (Neville/Pansy - E 5/5)

Summary: a case study on what happens when a bratty sub spends eighteen months in quarantine and gets so desperate she will have sex with the shy boy from boarding school that promises her orgasms. aka muggle panville tinder au during the great panini

Why you should read: FIRSTLY - Neville is one of my most favourite characters in all of Potterdom and I wanted him to be happy almost from the very first moment we met him. Secondly - it's funny. Hot and funny and sweet. I mean, Neville wants to save her dying(dead) plants that happened to be in the back of her tinder pictures. He's a delight. And this fic is also a delight. You should read it!

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The Raven - For the Rare and Radiant Maiden Series by @drollicpixiefanfic (Wenvier - E 3 fics)

Summary: Xavier Thorpe didn’t exactly expect Wednesday to use the cell phone he purchased for her. It was a ridiculous idea, a whim, a fancy. But something had compelled him to try. So, it was with some shock, two weeks into their break from Nevermore, that Xavier’s phone buzzed on his nightstand.

Why you should read: I'm certain I rec'd this before - but now there is a third story that came out this month (and IT IS AMAZING) - so I could just rec that third story, or I could link you to the whole thing and make you reread it (just like I did). Post season 1 - kinky hot but super tender as well. Funny. Just lovely. and I'm never going to complain about a Xavier PoV. He's my fave. Read this one - if you're not into Wenvier yet, make this your first foray. Come ship with me!

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ANYWAY - I'm always looking for new fic recommendations, so if you have any stories you think I'll love (whether you wrote them or your friend wrote them or you came upon them accidentally), please drop me a line or send me a dm. I've found SO many awesome fics through recommendations from others. I'll read almost any pairing and any fandom. Shoot me a link!🖤

(lastly- I'm a little bit in love with this gif of Xavier waving - and I've been purposely flooding my dashboard with Percy for reasons - so the wave might become a theme for my year - have you seen my new tumblr layout? I'm kinda in love with it. SO pretty).

Anyway -👋🏼 Hiya -I'm happy you're here! I hope you have a wonderful May and I'll see you back here in a few weeks! Happy reading! 🖤

#jandy's fanfic reading challenge adventure 2023 #reading fics with jandy #fanfic reading challenge 2023 #2023 fic reading challenge #2023frc

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pluralismajestatis · 1 year

Text

Stuff and things. We haven't been writing in a bit, and I don't know if it's because brain empty no thoughts or because we've been busy otherwise or what, but there's a whole backlog of shit that's tiring and depressing and it's kind of hitting T hard. He seems to be the guy who's hoarding all of the mental illness we had before our DID diagnosis, and I think it's unfair to leave him to deal with it, blaming himself for what's going on with him. He's not bringing us down, we're placing all of the weight of everything the rest of us are blissfully unbothered by on him. And it's a long list, so let's start with something.

First - that fucking Canadian law. Never had a decision made on the literal other end of the globe hit us so hard and make us feel so hopeless on sight. We first heard of it some months ago on Reddit, which is the shittiest place on earth to be first hearing about anything on, mainly because its userbase consists of unrepenting voluntary sociopaths. (Something's climbing the cabin's wall. Sounds like a magpie but might be a squirrel. We're holed away someplace a stone's throw away from the Russian border in the arctic circle. It's atmospheric. Coincidentally also where T first became aware of being here, since I was talking about him earlier. None of this has anything to do with the euthanasia law, but suddenly hearing something scraping against your hut's outside wall is like, okay, cool, WHAT IS THAT?)

So yeah, Reddit. Knee-jerk reaction. Wrote in disbelief; this is unethical. This is not right. Suicidal ideation is such a common symptom in mental illness it's literally right there in most of the diagnostic manual entries. Literally right there, and now you're saying that instead of treating the people who experience common symptoms of mental illness, you're just going to kill them instead? How is that not eugenics? How is that not genocide? (It is.)

Got hit by a wave of forementioned Reddit cynicists. "You're the real monster," we're told. "You're denying people their right to end their suffering."

Brother - and I use this word with the utmost disrespect in my tone - I am these people. You might perceive that from just the way I mostly referred to myself as "we" in the text so far, but let me specify: we have been suffering of treatment-resistant, delibilitating, excruciating severe mental illness since we were children. We were neurodivergent before puberty and that was difficult enough, but by the time we started school, our father had turned into a violent monster who took his anger out on us, a child of 7 years old, while unemployed and our mother worked 8 to 4 every day. Sometimes she was out on business trips that took a week or maybe even two. She'd ask for her friends to babysit us, and they'd ask her why not just trust our father? She told them he had violent rages, they told her they couldn't believe that about such a nice guy, but because they were her friends, they'd do what she needed of them. Nobody ever believed us.

There's more than that, obviously. Not the point of this story. When we turned 11, our homeroom teacher responsible for most of our classes and all education outside of subject classes, had to take leave due to breast cancer. She was replaced by the meanest, most hateful bitch I've ever met. She targeted us because we weren't normal and she could smell it from miles away. By the second half of the semester, we would sit in our dark closet crying and wanting to die. We stopped doing our homework, and once that routine was gone, we could never pick it up again. By 12 years old, though she was gone by then, replaced by a creepy old guy who liked massaging the shoulders of girls while rocking into their desks with his hips and would make "checks" of the girls' showers after gym, we no longer could attend half of the semester at all. That period of unattending became longer and longer with each passing year, to the point where we'd go to school after summer vacation for about one month, and then drop out again.

We got placed in a group home, severing the last remaining friendships and connections we had at home, and leaving us in the middle of people with genuine behavioural issues and frequent clashes with the law, while our only problem was that we were desperate and could not keep up with routine.

We never did get better. A year after that ended, we entered voluntary hospitalisation for two months. The staff proceeded to ignore us, we were never even given our permission slip to exit the ward even though at the point where we were doing so poorly we demanded to cut the stay short, they wanted to act like it had been known all of the time that we didn't have to stay indoors under supervision. Guess what? Our name was not on the permission slip. Our mother made them check. The head psychiatrist of the ward was another insane control freak, I don't want to talk about her. Her deal was humiliation and arrogance, and her parting words to us "I'll see you back in a couple weeks when you're carried back here in an ambulance wearing a straitjacket." (She did not, in fact, see us back ever again.)

We moved out from home at 18, because living with our mother was impossible. She's never understood what mental illness means and cannot stand our neurodivergency. For just short of ten years from there, we were outpatients living on partial everyday assistance; we had an attendee from the social services who'd help us buy groceries, attend our appointments, and occasionally clean up the house though most the time we were too depressed to move a muscle if we didn't have to.

In 2016, we had a psychotic episode that didn't just go away like the prior ones had. I don't actually have much memories from any of our twenties, but they were miserable; we were either constantly in a permanent state of existential fear of our own impending death, or trying to hurry it along through suicidal fits and overdoses and self-harm. We were (mis)diagnosed with BPD around 27, after similar misdiagnoses of bipolar disorder earlier. The gist was that nobody knew what to do with us, and nobody was actually invested enough to figure it out. Our psychiatric contacts - doctors, nurses - dropped us on a yearly basis. The period of establishing trust got longer and longer each time, to the point where when they'd leave, we hadn't started to feel comfortable working with them yet. Constant abandonment, constant giving up, constant "you can't be helped." The years between our 25 and 29 were more or less spent trying to get a consensus on whether insurance would cover "real" talk therapy for us or not; every time one person told us to apply for it, the next person would tell us it was pointless because we were too ill to be approved, and would have to cover the whole cost ourselves, which obviously living on disability payments was not physically possible.

This all ended at the bend of 29 to 30, when we coincidentally met someone we for the first time told about our dissociative symptoms. They urged us to look into it more, which we did, and it immediately became glaringly obvious that the symptoms we'd obsessively protected and never uttered a word about in fear of some catastrophe or divine punishment raining down on us were actually clinically so significant that we needed help not yesterday, but decades ago. As a result, after failing to put us into involuntary care, our clinic kicked us out as untreatable, with nothing but a list of therapists to contact.

None of whom were dissociation specialists, and none of whom were taking patients, and only few of whom were covered by insurance to begin with, that is, if insurance would have ever even covered us to begin with. Again, untreatable. Turning to our mother, we hopped continents, got a trauma/dissociation specialist from the United fucking States of America instead, and with some cooperation between her and our local psychiatric unit (as they were ending our patientship with them) finally reached a consensus on what was actually wrong with us. Not BPD, which was scrapped, but DID.

So, how does any of this relate to Canada, and Canada's eugenics laws? Have you heard already about the patients who are recommended assisted suicide by their "care" teams? Do you see what I'm implying here?

This fucking disaster of a law is a glaring reminder that no matter the fact that we're doing better - marginally, not good enough to be anything but disabled, but still better than ever - we'd still be on the chopping block here? Not only do we have a disorder that the psychiatric world is inherently biased against and fearful towards, that most of it doesn't even want to try to understand, we are and have already been a lost case since childhood. There's no full recovery for us. There's no return to baseline functioning. Even as we are now, we are so vulnerable, teetering on the sharpest of edges, that it would be more of a surprise if, given the opportunity, our health "care" professionals wouldn't try to convince us into "assisted suicide."

It's the starkest of reminders that the world does not care about us, that we're treated and seen as nothing but burdens, that society wants us dead for reasons ranging from saving money to discomfort and embarrasment and fear.

How can you even keep trying to be better with that knowledge? Every time we open up about it, there's some self-appointed devil's advocate ready to ask us if it really wouldn't just be better, if we wouldn't actually be happier if we could just die. Not if they'd be happier if we'd just die, making their world more comfortable to live in as they don't have to contend with the concept of sick and injured people - but if we don't actually, secretly, still just want to be dead. And if we don't want to die then that's selfish; selfish because we're draining society's money, selfish because we're denying other people the right to be murdered by doctors who supposedly swore an oath to never do harm, selfish because we don't let them feel the self-assured comfort of being the good guy who lets the unfit to live take their own lives.

Suicidal ideation used to be a serious symptom that meant the patient was crying for help, crying to be seen, crying out to have people notice and care and show them that they're not alone and that there's always hope, someone who'll take their hand and help them walk forwards.

Now, apparently, this fascist shitshow of a society has decided that it's actually just the patient rationally showing that they agree with the mainstream view of it being better for everybody if they just died off.

And you want me to be okay with this? Just go on like it's fine? Just act like this isn't personal? Just accept that not only should I let other people be killed, but that I, and everyone else in this fucked up little head of mine, would actually be better off dead ourselves?

I have no fucking words left.

#assisted suicide #canada eugenics law #dissociative identity disorder #did #if you come here to tell me how I'm wrong I'm literally not only blocking you on sight #but I will crawl from underneath your bed at night and shove your fucking pillow so far down your throat #that the people who find your corpse will see it peeking out of your asshole #d post #legal disclaimer: despite being a wholly disembodied entity #I am not in reality capable of crawling out from underneath the beds of strangers #nor am I capable of shoving pillows down people's mouths as pillows tend to be large and mouths rather small

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