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thorns-and-rosewings · 7 months

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Sooooo new AU anyone?

Behold the 🔥'Seraphim AU!'🔥

LOL I have been working on this for a month and decided to post what I have so far today on the spookiest of days, dear old Halloween. 🎃 And yes, I do get a ton of enjoyment out of The Sun and Moon Show, which helped inspire the direction this AU has gone.

I actually do have a whole AU/Story idea for him and his brothers (Yes he has siblings, his versions of Bloodmoon and Lunar)

I will just give a little intro into him and his background into this world below. :)

First thing I need to point out is that Seraphim Eclipse is not actually a Fazbear product. No, his creation was the result of a very ambitious fellow within Fazbear who had the brilliant idea to commission an outside company to build some of the more unique animatronics for less money. Specifically the Daycare Attendants.

As the DCA is the only animatronic whose insides cannot be replaced by a random backup Endo due to their thinner, more complex structures. They need to be custom built each time and it's particularly expensive given the unique 3 personalities and abilities the Endo will need. So, without authorization, he commissions a smaller company to build a new attendant.

Unfortunately A LOT was lost in translation. As this small company was led to believe that if their work was satisfactory they could get many more commissions from Fazbear. They were also provided with the DCA's primary blueprints... And furthering the miscommunication, they were told to improve on the design rather than make it identical.

Thus the Creator took liberties and built the base model of Seraphim Eclipse. (Pictured below)

Initial Info: The he first thing that should be said is that Seraphim Eclipse was not initially able to fly. (He can currently) his original wings were just for show and were made to flash and glow. (If he tries it's like getting flashed with six Fazcams all at once)

Next, he was made to be a 'Gentle Giant' sort of figure. He stands at a towering 10 feet tall if one includes his rays.

He also doesn't have a hook on his back, rather he is equipped with a long, flexible and insanely durable cable that can retract completely into his back. This cable measures almost 35-40 feet and is so strong it can fully lift Seraphim Eclipse's weight and keep him balanced and suspended perfectly in midair. The reason for this is he was built to fill all three of the DCA's roles and for naps he would place the kids down for a nap, while being suspended above with his wings glowing faintly.

His entire appearance is supposed to invoke that of a guardian angel.

The cable also has a secondary function as it is much like a Na'vi queue and allows Eclipse to interact with the networks throughout the Pizzaplex. Due to his systems being completely built outside of Fazbear, he has difficulty with various aspects of the systems. But it also meant he was immune to the initial Glitchtrap virus.

He refers to this cable as his tail.

His creator chose to simplify the 'Sun, Moon and Eclipse' personalities and just made one singular being who could handle all of the duties he would need too. Choosing to name him Eclipse as it was more appropriate and would seemingly encompass all of the needed aspects.

The final really 'Abnormal' thing about him is that during his construction, someone attempted to abduct and possibly assault one of the Creators three kids, specifically his youngest daughter... Thankfully the bastard failed and was arrested, but the lingering stress of that disturbing situation resulted in his Creator building flamethrowers into his arms/hands... To be used in case of emergencies.

Brief History: Unfortunately when he was revealed to the heads of the Fazbear Board of Directors, brought before them and activated by the manager who commissioned him... He immediately showed that he was as sweet and as cheerful as Sun models usually are-

He was about as well received as someone finding a dead rat in their cereal...

The board was livid, as company secrets and schematics were given out to make this abomination... Yeah, his first memories at the job he was made for was being called an abomination to his face.

The manager was fired and Eclipse, since they couldn't send him back for a refund but also couldn't use him... They put him in a few restraints, locked him into a permanent 'resting mode' and pretty much hung him up on a wall in a small closet off of parts and services... and forgot he existed.

Unfortunately for Eclipse, he was locked but still conscious.

He was trapped in his own body, in darkness, alone for several years... The only escape he had was that while they locked his limbs up, they neglected doing so with his tail. So he was eventually able to get into the Fazbear networks and essentially observe the ongoings of the Pizzaplex.

He was also able to get access to an online Anime/Manga account that one employee set up for 'Productive Loafing' while at work. But it ended up being the one true joy Seraphim Eclipse had. A distraction from the nightmare he was stuck in. Even when the human employee was fired, Eclipse still kept the account active and constantly used it.

...on a negative note, Eclipse developed a seething hatred towards Sun, Moon and their Eclipse. As he viewed them as responsible for his own situation. Let alone the horrors that the malfunctioning Moon caused...

(Because I truly can write too much and given how LONG I could make this... I am going to shorten this now)

Seraphim Eclipse was finally be let loose from his captivity by MXES as a final desperate act to prevent Mimic from escaping and killing Cassie. As when MXES was set up, he became aware of Eclipse but didn't release him... Due to him not being sure if he was just another vessel for the Mimic or some other threat.

After getting free and having been watching Cassie's dangerous progress through the destroyed Pizzaplex via the cameras, Eclipse's first and only thought is about saving that little girl... And he reactivates Roxy to help him. (Because I still wonder how the hell she reactivated.) And it turns into a huge fight... Ending with Mimic getting deactivated by being ripped to pieces. And Eclipse taking quite a bit of damage especially to one side of his face, but making sure Mimic is VERY dead.

They all leave up the elevator, meeting the real Gregory, Freddy (Well... his head anyway) and Vanessa at the top. (They don't drop them.)

Literally everyone is burnt out from this nightmare, they go to the only place that might be a reprieve from the whole mess... They go to Cassie's aunt's place. Cassie's aunt, Twila, owns a Junk/Scrapyard and was babysitting her niece while her father was out of town. She opens the door to this lot and Cassie nervously laughing that she has a funny story to tell her.

Cassie is grounded for a month for scaring her aunt half to death by running off...

But Seraphim Eclipse stays there for a bit; and knowing he saved her niece... Twila gives him his sword. As she knows it's valuable, but judging by her nieces description about how Eclipse used a piece of rebar like a sword while fighting Mimic, she thought he should own a real one.

The sword is an Nodaichi.

His face is repaired, but seems to sport a permanent red scar, resembling a bloody tear.

(Again I am shortening this...)

After pulling off some blackmail, Seraphim Eclipse manages to aquire this particular Pizzaplex, all of its accounts for money and while associated, it's not connected to the Fazbear brand anymore... He owns it and gets it repaired.

His first act is to get rid of Sun/Moon/Eclipse... He quite literally tells them they are fired... And to go throw themselves into the dumpster outside because that's where they belong.

Twila takes the now distraught trio to live and help her at the scrapyard...

The Pizzaplex gets repaired better than ever and Eclipse takes his 'rightful' role, running the daycare.

...all is peaceful for a bit...

Until something is blasted through the roof and lands in the ballpit...

...namely the damaged form of a certain other Eclipse...

...and the damaged remains of the Newton Star...

Exercising A LOT of caution, Seraphim Eclipse takes the damaged other Eclipse to his workshop and starts going through his mind.

Yeaaaahhh he learns how batshit the other is... But he also comes across the schematics for the interdimensional portal, but more importantly the blueprints for both Bloodmoon and Lunar...

Because he and his alter share a trait of being agonizingly lonely.

He also meets Solar Flare, who he moves his consciousness into his computer... And ends up adapting him to be the AI in charge of his defenses...

LOL, MXES finally gets a friend.

He repairs Canon Eclipse, but knowing that he's pretty insane... Seraphim Eclipse slaps a nasty control collar on him so his alter cannot secretly work to destroy him...

Poor guy gets turned into a very angry janitor.

And Seraphim Eclipse proceeds to build his own versions of Bloodmoon and Lunar... Even incorporating the fragments of the Newton Star into his own Lunar.

The results are... Interesting... Especially considering his Lunar, who is extremely magically inclined, becomes responsible for Seraphim Eclipse's wing upgrades. As well as a multitude of additional upgrades... And awkward scenarios; that this crazy family will start enduring 😅

...I will write more later, but that's pretty much the start of this AU 🌟

Also, Happy Halloween everyone! 🎃

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apprenticestanheight · 5 months

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THE FIVE DAYS OF SMUTMAS QUEUE: DAY TWO

Work Shirts - Lawrence Gordon x gn! reader

All right!! This is day two of my silly little christmas celebration, and of course I had to do what I've been procrastinating since basically the start of this account--write a Lawrence reader insert piece!

I love him wholeheartedly despite my lack of fics for him so this has definitely been a long time coming, and this one, much like yesterdays fic, stems from a thought I had—though with this thought, @mrkheartffmans and I went a lil feral together through the reblogs of the original post and thus, the fic concept came to light!

This is also a few years post trap because I was like "yeah working somewhere for a decade is cool but what about a decade and a half??" also—my mentality was that having it set a few years post-trap would be easier to write?? I don't know how true that actually is but it was my thought process lol.

This fic is for audiences of 18+, so minors, do not interact!

Fic type- this is mostly--almost entirely--smut. There's also angst if you squint because yeah, angst was bound to be present somewhere lol

Warnings- unprotected sex (reader is on BC), and as per usual, the reader is GN for all intents and purposes (petnames included), but I went with AFAB anatomy as that's the anatomy that I know best.

Lawrence wishes he could act like the surprise on the faces of his coworkers when he mentioned having the last two weeks of December off came as a surprise to him, but he can't and he kind of hates that.

Of course people are bound to be a little surprised by it. In the decade and a half that he's worked at Angels of Mercy, the only incident where he took any sizeable amount of time off was while he was recovering from the bathroom trap and could hardly stand, let alone walk like he used to.

But, in the three years since the bathroom trap and aside from that month long period where he allowed himself to recover before going back to work, he'd not taken a single day away. Being at work, seeing to patients and talking to people—even just going to work and filling out miscellaneous paperwork while he sat in the isolation of his office—kept his mind busy and his hands busier.

He came home from work every night and saw you, which just made his entire day as it were. You'd order food or make something quick and just spend your time lounging on the couch, occasionally get a little flirty, and laugh when Lawrences hands started wandering how they used to in the days of your masters degree and his days of medical school.

But, because of a backlog of PTO and the fact that he'd been overworking himself almost to the bone with the onslaught of people needing medical care during the last three months of the year, Lawrence decided to book the 14th through to the 2nd of January off so that he could get some rest and worry about housework so that you didn't have to worry at all, where you normally split the housework fifty-fifty.

Lawrence knew that your marketing job got really, really stressful during the last month of the year. People always unearthed different versions of themselves come the holidays, and all he wanted was for you to come home from your workday and not have to worry about menial things like a messy bathroom counter, week-old leftovers in need of throwing away or dishes not yet moved from the dishwasher to the cupboards.

He gets called into work for an emergency on the 21st, and after running to grab groceries during the afternoon on the 22nd, he's delighted to find what he does waiting for him in the bed you share.

You're typically home from work at around seven, sometimes eight thirty on particularly busy days, and when Lawrence arrives home, it's half past eight.

He goes into your bedroom, having indeed hoped to see you there or at least get a call about work running late with the promise of more details upon your arrival at home as he enters your shared bedroom, but what he sees is so much better than anything he could've hoped for.

You're sitting on the bed, back pressed against the head board, focused on whatever romance book you'd plucked from a charity bookstore on your way home, but it's not what you're reading that Lawrence really takes note of.

No, it's not the book at all, though he does note that the title makes it seem like something from either the regency or the victorian era. It's what you're wearing.

You're wearing the shirt he wore to work the previous day, buttons undone with the cufflinks you'd gifted him for christmas the year his residency ended still holding the sleeves of the shirt together, the duvet covering your legs and hips, which makes Lawrence assume you've stolen a pair of his sweatpants in addition to the shirt.

He knocks, lightly, on the side of the door, and you startle, looking up to the source of the knock and relaxing the minute you see his face.

"You startled me," you say, grinning and closing your book over your thumb so as not to lose your place. "I remember you told me you'd be getting groceries around when I would get home, so I stole one of your shirts and settled in. Figured we could order Thai food or something to that effect, have a late dinner and relax."

Lawrence runs his tongue over his lips, notices the keen way with which you watch him do it.

"Yeah," he grins, further enters the room. "That sounds lovely. I grabbed the last of the necessary ingredients for dinner Christmas Day so that you wouldn't have to worry—I know that work has been something of a mess for you lately and I want to make sure you have the opportunity to relax when you come home."

He approaches the bed, watches you place the book you'd been reading open on your nightstand beneath the lamp.

"I don't deserve you," you laugh.

You've been dating since you were starting up with your masters a year after getting your bachelors degree when you were twenty-three and Lawrence was two years into medical school at twenty-four.

You've been married since you were twenty-five and twenty-six, and seventeen years down the line, you both knew that marrying each other was the best possible thing either of you could've done with regard to the romantic part of your lives, and while you were married you ended up doing the best possible things for your respective careers so it worked in both of your favors regardless.

You were Lawrences rock, especially so in the aftermath of the bathroom trap, and he was yours and would be such forevermore.

"You're right," he says, moving away from the bed to grab a pair of sweatpants. "You deserve more, but I do strive to be what you deserve day in and day out."

"Don't say that," you chide. "You're perfect, Lawrence. I wouldn't've married you had I thought otherwise, I promise."

He can feel your gaze on him as he slips out of the khaki pants he wears, deciding to go commando and put a pair of light gray sweatpants on for comfort. He changes out of the black button up he'd chosen to wear, pulls a baggy dark blue Henley over his torso and climbs into bed beside you, pressing kiss after kiss down the line of your jaw and across your neck.

"How stressful has work been?" He asks, tone genuine but also slightly seductive.

"Oh, so stressful," you laugh, knowing exactly what he's doing and the fact that seeing you in one of his shirts and just one of his shirts has spurred that on by a mile. "I think if I have to hear one more coworker complaining about last minute shopping during the last few days before Christmas Eve or even on Christmas Eve in and of itself, I will start causing heads to roll. December is the worst time to be in the offices because everyone stops caring about year-end quotas and making sure things are good going into next year and starts caring about whatever gossip is being spread around. It's dreadful, Lawrence."

He pauses, looking at you with genuine sympathy in his gaze. "I'm sorry—I feel gross. I didn't mean to attempt to proposition you for sex like that. I really do want to hear about your day and I'm sorry it's been so terrible, my love. Are you going to book time off?"

You grin. Lawrence is ever-so considerate, always apologizing and stepping back if he's done something in a way that he doesn't appreciate midway through.

"You're going to be stuck with me from tomorrow through to the second," you say. "And—for the record, I didn't hate it. I like it when you proposition me for sex with kisses because your kisses are quite honestly one of the best parts of being married to you. Plus, I have had a stressful month and I won't lie and say that my current outfitting was just for comfort. Sure, bare ass on satin sheets is an amazing feeling, but I was hoping that I'd get the reaction I did, admittedly."

Lawrence tilts his head inquisitively. "You're not—you're—I thought you'd taken a pair of my sweatpants," he grins, moves a hand to your thigh. Sure enough, it's bare. "Oh, Christmas must've come early."

You laugh. "You fuckin' wish," you say, ignoring the goosebumps that Lawrences touch brings on.

You unbutton the few buttons done up on the shirt, press your back against the headboard.

"Stressful month, yeah baby?" Lawrence is almost beaming as his hand moves from your thigh to your stomach, lazily perusing up your chest.

You clench your jaw, squeeze your arms against your sides because you are not going to give in to your handsome husband and his illustrious whims just with a few touches and some whispered sentiments.

"So stressful, Lawrence," you nod. "So, so stressful."

"Do you need a way to destress?" His thumb and first finger locate your nipple, and you exhale a breathy moan, quiet and already wanting to give in to his whims. "If you do, I think I could be of assistance."

"Lawrence," you moan, quiet and needy. "Oh, fuck, Lawrence."

Lawrence moves his hand away from you for a second, only to take off his shirt and the sweatpants he wears before he's back to kissing your neck and letting his hands roam across your chest.

A few minutes of much the same passes by, Lawrences kisses lining your neck and jawline and face and your ethereal lips while he rolls your nipples between his fingers. His hand dips to your folds for just a few minutes, taking your slick onto his fingers and laughing against your shoulder.

"You're so wet for me already," he says. "Fuck, you're perfect."

"Wanna ride you," you're almost stunned at how evenly the words fall from your lips but not at all stunned when Lawrence agrees.

He pulls you onto his lap, lets you grind against his half-hard cock until it's fully hard and you're begging to feel him inside of you and moans when you bottom out, gaze watching you intently as his hands settle on your hips.

"Lawrence," you whisper. "Fuck."

A smile spreads onto Lawrences face before he can stop it, and when you start riding him, he presses his back against the headboard, one hand on your hip while the other lightly holds your chin so as to keep your gaze on his.

You get lost in how good it feels within the space of a minute, maybe two—Lawrence's cock is long and thick, and even if riding it takes some adjusting occasionally, it still becomes very enjoyable very quickly.

"You're so wonderful for me, Y/N," he says. "Oh, this never gets old."

He's loving how you feel around him, clenching occasionally and moaning after a particularly deep thrust that hits your g-spot, and you're just—it's just perfect.

And then, Lawrence gets an idea. He moves the hand that's cupping your face to your wrist, which is attached to the hand that you use to grope relentlessly at yourself, rolling your nipples between your thumb and first finger, sometimes moving to rub your clit.

"The cufflinks, baby," he says. "Don't touch yourself, mm? Use those for me."

He watches you press the cold silver cufflink against one of your nipples, moans as you clench around him at the sensation of the cold meeting your warm skin. You moan in turn, pressing the metal against your nipples and moaning his name.

He moves a hand back to your chin, placing his first and middle finger against your bottom lip. You take the hint immediately and bring his fingers into your mouth, grinding down onto him as you do.

"You're so good for me, pet," he says, moving the hand that rests on your hip to your clit. He starts rubbing it with practiced expertise, knowing the way you like it best after nearly two decades of marriage. "Oh, this is amazing. You can steal my work shirts whenever you want, okay? Especially the ones with the cufflinks. You're amazing."

You moan at the praise, pressing the cufflinks against yourself further, loving the way that the metal feels against your sensitive nipples.

He takes his fingers out of your mouth and goes back to holding your chin so as to keep your gaze on his, wanting to watch you orgasm.

You come completely undone when Lawrence speeds up his ministrations on your clit just enough to make you want more, and Lawrence watches.

You thrust your way through the aftershocks, at which point Lawrence releases into you and lets your chin free from his light grip, kissing you and offering praise as he does.

He pulls you off of him and gets a bath set up, helping you into it while giving you more praise and pressing kisses along the back of your neck and shoulder blades because the orgasm had left you both completely and totally breathless.

You bathe in light conversation, once again talking about your days but focusing on the more positive parts, and Lawrence lets you steal a Henley from the days of medical school. You pull a pair of boxers on and curl up in bed next to him, falling asleep only seconds before Lawrence does.

#lawrence gordon #lawrence gordon x reader #saw 2004 #saw franchise

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vacantgodling · 6 months

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re. about

you may call me: ren, renjamin, rimz, r.a.a, or vacant

refer to me with he/him pronouns (masculine nicknames like ‘king’ & terms of endearment like ‘dear’ or ‘sweetie’ are also good. just nothing overtly feminine like ‘queen’ is the gist)

i am 26 and my birthday is october 2

i am black, transmasc, neurodivergent, and queer (achillean or yknow gay if you want to be specific. i’m a fag ok.)

as a psa: i don’t care if minors follow me but i’m not your parent so proceed at your own risk.

aside from writing i like: playing video games (mostly overwatch, my special interest for a ridiculous amount of time. but also, legend of zelda & the sims), drawing (when it’s not annoying me), gothic literature & older books with flowery prose, the colors pink, black & gold, history, anime (older anime+demon slayer really), and i’m learning japanese (to the best of my ability. むずかしです)

re. wips

find a list of all my wips HERE! i work on them sporadically when inspiration strikes. find a wip sampler where i show off a piece of prose from the work to give you a sense of its vibe HERE!

if you’re interested in being on my taglists, fill this form out!

my 2023 year in review!

also, for ease of access: current tag games i’m doing (i want to keep track of it this year)

last line tag 2024

wbw 2024

ask games 2024 (general)

tcol character tournament!

re. connect

here are other places you can find me:

bluesky || cohost || instagram || pinterest

my partner yves and i make stories together, which is here -> @mothgrudge (i also rb a lot on @babylonsfalling)

i have a discord so if we’ve spoken feel free to ask for it (however i don’t really do servers. maybe one day, but for now no)

maybe this year i’ll work on an actual website & i’d love to make a youtube where i just talk about shit so… maybe, we’ll see...

re. navigation

talking -> musings and personal thoughts

about renjamin -> insight to me / who i am

ren analysis -> when i get meta about my wips

ren mix -> a treasure trove of my music taste

ren polls -> any polls i make

ren reads -> for my ramblings and analysis as i try to get back into books

friends tag -> talking with friends or boosting my friends work

others work -> boosting other writeblrs work

hall of fame -> praise / things that make me happy that i want to keep

ren writing -> all of my writing in one place

ren poems -> all of my poems in one place

short stories tag -> micro or flash fiction bits and bobs

ren art -> all my art

q eh you eh -> queue

sex mention -> tag for any sexual content.

worldbuilding -> all of my worldbuilding notes across all my wips

ren hot cakes -> specifically for my overly opinionated opinions

to read -> others works that i need to get around to reading

rens ocs but sims -> for when i make my ocs in the sims lol

ren plays -> me talking about video games but it’s usually overwatch

ren is jopping on main -> for the rare occasions where i talk about kpop

character stats -> when i decide to compare and contrast my ocs to see trends

#writeblr intro #about renjamin

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sheliesshattered · 3 months

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We had a fabulous time visiting Batuu yesterday! Our outfits were comfortable and functional and well suited to what turned out to be a relatively cold and cloudy day in southern California. Disney cast members definitely seemed to interact with us more because we made the effort to dress up, and we got some lovely compliments from other guests, too. We were even gifted some BSO credit coins by random strangers who liked our outfits!

It was Jack's first visit to Batuu, and while I did get to spend a little bit of time there with my mom in October, this was my first opportunity to really explore the entire area, browse through the shops, and sample all the food and drinks available. It was at least as cool as my first impression of it back in October, and Jack was impressed and delighted by all of it. We spent a good portion of the day just admiring all the details and world-building and excellent sets.

Jack has requested no photos, but I did manage to snag this pic of him blocking the camera like a victim of the paparazzi, lol.

But look at those pleats! Both Jack and I are so pleased with how they turned out. Several of the Resistance jackets on display in the Rise of the Resistance queue had similar pleat details, and it was fun to look at them up close.

Over this last weekend and all the way up to late Monday night, I was able to add a few last details to our outfits. I finally adjusted the chain length of my dangley earrings and glued the leather cording wraps to the back of my kyber crystal necklace so that it wouldn't slip out. While I had the glue out, I figured I'd take a stab at making some spat-type things to cover the lacings of my tall Doc Marten boots. I was completely winging it from start to finish, but I'm really happy with how they turned out!

The spats are made from some left over suede I've had in my stash for literally more than 20 years now -- it's been used for an Aragorn vest for Jack, a couple of bags for me, and the inner layers of the big wedge shaped piece on my Oswin belt. And I still have some left over! Maybe I'll make myself a belt pouch to match these spats at some point in the future.

The narrow end of each spat tucks under the laces closest to the toe of my boot, and theoretically secures to itself with a hook and eye, though I found the hook didn't really hold from that angle, and really wasn't necessary anyway. The straps then velcro around the back of my leg, at the lowest point of the bend of my ankle, and right at the top of the boot, so that the strap sits just above the top edge of the boot in the back, which helps keep it from slipping down.

To make these I really just draped scrap suede on my boot while wearing it, started cutting it to the shape I thought might make sense, then copied that over for a second spat. I measured how much I would need for the straps and how much of an overlap I wanted for the velcro, then cut out all those pieces and glued them together using E6000 -- which works wonderful for adhering velcro to suede and suede to suede, but is a bit more iffy with the metal hooks and eyes (one eye popped off when I was taking off the spat at the end of the night, but since it wasn't staying hooked anyway, I'm not fussed).

Despite being such a quick off-the-cuff project, the spats worked out great, and added that last little bit to my outfit by covering the laces of my boots. They're visible in the third photo, the full-length shot in front of the door (and in the video below), and I think they add an understated bit of texture difference in all the black-on-black there, in addition to obscuring the modern look of the boots a bit.

Besides those detail bits for me, I also made a pair of little pockets for Jack's jacket, to hold 'code cylinders'. It's a tiny detail that really makes the jacket look that much more Star Wars-y, and the cylinders themselves are empty and their tops unscrew, so the space can actually be functional, too. (Currently they're filled with gum!)

And at Jack's request, I threw together a quick insert for the zipper section on his collar that used to hold the hood before we removed it. The hood was making the collar too puffy, but without it the collar didn't have enough body to stand up on its own.

I took some measurements, then cut a piece of cotton duck canvas (that I had originally bought to cover the zippers on my Moment vest, before I changed gears and made the Batuu vest instead) to the right length and about three times the height of the interior of the hood section. I did a simple zigzag tri-fold on the height, ironed it flat, and marked some guide lines perpendicular to the length. Then it was just a simple process of quilting the three layers together by machine sewing in short vertical rows ~1cm apart.

The quilting gave the canvas even more stiffness, and after that point it absolutely did not want to fold or droop along the short vertical axis. I slipped it into the former hood pocket (after snipping one corner to fit around the snap I hadn't accounted for), zipped it closed, and gave the whole collar area a quick pressing. It's removable if we ever need to, completely washable, and keeps the collar standing upright without looking too stiff. Jack was very happy with the result.

With our outfits finally done, we headed into the park around mid-morning, with a plan to stay late. I wasn't quite sure what to expect with Batuu Bounding at Disneyland (which is notoriously a bit more hit-and-miss than Batuu East, in Florida), but we got through security without incident and through the rest of the park without anyone commenting on our outfits. We saw someone else wearing the same leather-look leggings as me, and a guy wearing similar jacket and pants to Jack (but without the pleating), which made us feel like we didn't look too weird, by general Disneyland standards.

Once we were in Batuu, though, our bounding definitely got noticed more. A couple of fellow guests complemented our outfits (including the kind strangers who gave us the coins!), and cast members seemed way more interested in interacting with us in-character. I got to bring up a bit about the history I'd made up for Samæni Ray -- which led to one cast member later referring to me and Jack as "my friends from Denon!" All of the prep and character design made it a lot easier to think on my feet in those little improv interactions.

One cast member in particular kept finding us throughout the day, just suddenly appearing out of nowhere it felt like, and kept trying to sell us a speederbike that totally wasn't a broken down lemon.

Later in the day, he kind of sold us out to Kylo Ren and a pair of stormtroopers (but like, in a fun way, lol) which led to an intense interaction with Kylo Ren right up in both my face and Jack's. Kylo Ren is tall, and the voice and the mask and the body language was all perfect up close. There was a bit of nervous laughter on our part, but we kept our cool and convinced Ren that that since we'd only just arrived on Batuu from Denon, we couldn't possibly know anything about any Resistance activity in Black Spire Outpost.

We were way too in the moment to get any photos, but because we were dressed up and Kylo Ren was so much up in our faces, we did draw a bit of a crowd, so for all I know other people may have taken pictures or videos of the event, lol. My family has a saying about 'look hard' rather than take photos, and it was definitely that for us.

Overall the whole day was wonderful, and we ended up spending nearly 12 hours in Batuu without leaving once. I got to pilot the Falcon multiple times (though I can't really say I've gotten any better at it, lol), and got to try out gunner and engineer, too. We managed to ride Rise of the Resistance both during the day and again after dark, explore every part of Black Spire Outpost in detail, learn to play Sabacc with a cast member, have drinks at Oga's, and eat a bunch of really tasty, really well-presented food.

All together it was an excellent, excellent birthday. And we're already talking about when we might want to go back again.

#Batuu Bounding #Batuu West #Disneyland #Disneybound #Disneybounding #Star Wars bounding #2024 mood #this is my real life #my sewing #Batuu vest #scrappy sweatshirt project #Jyn Erso sweatshirt #hooded wrap #Jack's jacket project #Samæni Ray #Samaeni Ray #long post #safe to unmute #there was a snaffu with my lightsaber so I didn't get to take it -- but I don't regret not doing Savi's #soon I will have a lovely slim saber that I can spin with #I didn't really miss having a saber on this trip (and it would have made the interaction with Kylo a bit more pointed I think)#but if we go back for another round of bounding for Star Wars night then I'll certainly take it for the lightsaber meetup #last night and this morning I was SO TIRED -- spoonies are not meant to go for 14 hour days like that #but I am already back in the mode of wanting to be Samæni all the time lol #and hey the Season of the Force Star Wars nights haven't sold out yet so just maybe we can do this again soon

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handsingraphite · 2 years

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A Mishmash of Thoughts on KP World Tour Manila

I just need to get out my thoughts and feelings on everything that went down last night at the KPTS World Tour Manila stop. There aren’t a lot of places where I can scream into the void, but this is one such place.

As with all my screaming, it tends to get very long, though, so they’re under the cut.

On the Day of the Show

MOA Arena has a sporting event capacity of 15K to 20K. It can actually accommodate more at the producers’ discretion (of course, considering safety standards). It’s a huge venue, in short. Given record-high inflation, the fact that some people would have to fly in from their provinces and find accommodation etc -- I was afraid that the venue would only be about 30-50% full. Even though I do believe that without logistical constraints, they had enough of a fanbase here to fill that arena.

But when I arrived at the venue, there were so many people. That was a core memory for me: seeing the same level of enthusiasm as for any other touring artist, the organized fan projects, and the banners and lightsticks being passed around. I saw photo-op booths for the different cast members. People were so nice, too: I was the only one who’d gotten into Soundcheck, so I was on my own, but other fans immediately approached me, talked to me, and helped me out. It was such a nice atmosphere to be in.

I do regret not coming earlier to go around all the fanclub initiatives. I hadn’t realized that the Soundcheck winners would basically be held inside the venue already from 2PM.

(Side note: I think in the future, there’s a better way of going about this. I remember getting into Soundcheck for another artist in the past, and the Soundcheck itself was held not too long from the show start. It also did not have such a long queuing time. Being there by, technically 12PM for the strapping, meant that we could not leave for ~8 hours.)

Soundcheck

Ticket strapping started at 12PM which was a nightmare to queue in due to the noonday sun

I was at the entrance by 1:45PM, on the dot, but nothing was happening yet; we stood in line for 30-45 mins and in typical Filipino spirit, were jokingly heckling the marshals

“Kuya, anong petsa na kami papasok diyan!” (Kuya, what day will we be able to go inside!)

Someone asked the marshals if they saw the cast, and one Kuya said no. But that the important thing was that we get inside in an organized line HAHA

A girl wearing a Sailor Moon costume joined the line and everyone was ooh-ing and aah-ing over her; the BOC videographers actually did an interview with her, which she absolutely deserved

Another fan came wearing a really beautiful dress that may have been Thai traditional clothing (? not particularly sure about this)

There was a collective sigh of relief when they opened the lobby doors and we could feel the blast of cooler air reach us

We were finally let into the lobby area at about ~3PM, cue the lining up for the merchandise booth (it was empty at the time) and handing out of fan benefits

Soundcheck started at ~4PM and lasted for 20 mins, which felt a bit cut short but was fun to be part of nonetheless. Some highlights (I was focusing on Mile, Apo, Jeff, and Barcode the most):

Everyone just started screaming as the cast came out and they were very clearly taken aback by it, but also very happy

Apo was the pack leader/main spokesperson: I know so many fan accounts talk about how hyper he is, but you really can lose sight of him in a second if you’re not paying enough attention. He was zooming up and down the aisles, going from corner to corner, and was generally just very lovely and bouncing around. Also his English is so good, and throughout Soundcheck and the concert he took the lead in introductions

Apo accidentally hit Barcode in the face, lol, poor Barcode

Mile was quite chill and laid-back! But he had the biggest grin on his face the entire time. It’s funny to see Apo running circles around everyone, meanwhile Mile took his time walking. The word I’d use for it is that he seems very deliberate in his movements -- including making his way to Apo at the end

God bless Jeff Satur and his voice. Absolutely loved that it was 100% live, and he rendered Free Fall so well; there was a moment I managed to get on video of him with Barcode behind him, and Jeff stopped singing so he could hear the fans instead

Barcode looked so fluffy! Every time I see him I am reminded by my own younger brother, I love how shyly he was going around to greet the fans

At the ending climax of the first Thai song, Jeff/Apo/Tong/Bible etc were fooling around and raising their hands to the sky dramatically

We started chanting “Isa pa! Isa pa!” (One more! One more!) but they probably thought we were just making noise and they left lol although I’m sure even if they’d understood they would still have needed to end it there

We couldn’t go out of the lobby anymore, so we got to hear the sound of Slot Machine rehearsing

All in all, typical Soundcheck length and the cast were conscious of making sure to approach the different sections. I would like to have even a fraction of Apo’s energy. I would definitely like to have Jeff Satur’s voice.

The one thing to improve on is what I mentioned about queuing time, and relative time between Soundcheck and show start because just staying in one area for 6 to 8 hours is a bit of a downer. Plus a lot of people didn’t get to eat a proper lunch and/or dinner.

Show Proper (Scattered)

Slot Machine was such an energizing opener. They went for ~30 mins and the entire crowd was with them: Free Fall is absolutely divine to hear live. It’s that pump-up song, you know? They worked the crowd very well, and also made a lot of interactive moments e.g. asking us to make their sign, asking us to move in specific ways, throwing out guitar picks (?) A couple of fans behind me were losing their minds over the guitarist, it was really funny. They amped up they hype level very quickly, no lull moments.

There was a bit of a lull transitioning into the main show and so many fans were just randomly screaming thinking the cast was about to go out. But the roar that came out when they finally appeared was massive -- they just stood and took it all in, and a lot of them were failing to keep a straight face because of the crowd response. Everyone got a huge cheer which seemed to overwhelm many of them.

Throughout the show they kept calling the fans “beautiful”, “cute”, etc and complimenting the people who showed up in costumes. And the crowd ate it up lol we’re very easy to please: Show up and breathe, we’ll scream. Tell us we’re the best, and we scream harder.

Found myself thinking that Us was such a great performer, his styling was on point, and there’s just something indescribable about how he performed that really drew my attention. I was frustrated that I didn’t hit record, apparently, at the part where he goes, “Lips, hips, neck, fingers...” because that was such a good moment.

Barcode also has so much potential as a performer -- I’m thinking maybe the most out of them, just something in the way he carries himself at such a young age. He was charismatic during his Pretty Savage cover, cheeky and very much out to prove he’s capable of taking on a concept opposite of the wholesome, innocent vibe he had playing Porchay. Then he came up to the front and did This Song is Called You in the most earnest, puppy-like manner possible and tried to interact with everyone. We absolutely failed him when he stopped to let us sing the song, though. He very cutely fell to the ground in such a young teenager fashion, like, guys you had one job. Sorry, Barcode -- we’ll do better next time, so you have to come back, yeah?

Dance performances were fun, the crowd favorite was easily the bodyguard dance. When I tell you everyone around me got on their feet and surged to the barriers to start recording the moment that they started grinding on the stage floor... But then I remember that the Filipino crowd eats up these performances.

Honorary mentions are: the Bible/Build scene midway through the show (still can’t tell how much of the screaming was due to the pairing vs the performance itself lol), and the Bible/Ta weapon-wielding dance along the middle of the aisle.

In general for the dance performances, though, the light shows they had going on sort of fritzed my eyesight. Which isn’t on them, I just hadn’t noticed how much my eyesight has deteriorated -- but I couldn’t properly look at the stages head-on, there were just a few moments where the lights didn’t go crazy enough so I could actually pay attention.

At this point I’d say they have great energy and stage presence, and as mentioned above, Us and Barcode have potential. It’s not a section where you can wholesale say they’re good at dancing, though, so like me, you’ll need to not take these so seriously and just enjoy what they’re giving.

Came alive for Perth’s Sailor Moon performance. He had a bit where he mentioned about the fan costumes and I thought they would call up the fan who wore Sailor Moon, but they didn’t, unfortunately. But I was very hyped for this skit because it’s just really good fun and a breather, and also, I’ve loved Sailor Moon as a kid. It definitely felt like a moment where I was harkening back to my childhood and Perth also fully committed to the bit, along with Ping, Pong and JJ, which made it even better.

Show Highlights (for me)

No words for how wonderful Jeff was the entire night. He had my favorite performances. Especially him showcasing his musicianship with Why Don’t You Stay, because he makes dynamic vocal choices every time and his runs were so controlled. This is the sound of a singer who has spent years honing their craft. I’m really looking forward to him having a solo concert and would be among the first to buy tickets.

I have a hundred thousand feelings about him choosing to sing Leaves by Ben & Ben as the tailored song choice for the Manila stop. Aside from the fact that his voice criminally suits it, and that he sung it in a way that made it feel new -- Leaves means a lot to me personally. It was the song that got me through the early months of the pandemic, when there was so much bleak news coming in. I remember I would play it every day as a mantra to get to the next day, trying to keep living, trying to reassure myself I wasn’t alone in this though it often felt that way during the lockdowns. So thank you, Jeff. I fully expected he would sing one of the more classic OPM songs e.g. Hawak Kamay, but this song choice was even better. And he rendered it so well: the original song is softer, like a gentle reminder of things that would be better, but Jeff made this one sound like a conviction. Things are better, and even if they aren’t, they will be.

I would say that everyone’s cheers for Tong was the biggest one of the night, especially during the ending ment -- even before his declaration. He and Tankhun are universally loved. It was very sweet how he tried to tell the fans to conserve their energy during his performance in the first half of the show. (Note: That’s what tells you he’s new here: Manila concert crowds don’t let up until the very last second.) But of course I’m also going to bring up his cute moments at the ending ment, when he said he liked hearing us scream (at just about anything they did at that point, help), and when he asked to speak in Thai. I don’t think any of us expected he’d make a declaration right then and there, and right on cue someone brought a Pride flag (props to them for getting it past the guards) because it was such a pivotal moment in the show when Tong took it and waved it.

I have so many feelings about that moment. I’m so proud of Tong, because in the society we are in, it takes courage and heart to make a coming out statement. I’m happy for him, that he felt he was in a safe place, that he could say it with such strength. For us in the Philippines who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community or are allied with it, it may seem like we’re more accepting. But our general society still isn’t. Anti-discrimination and same-sex marriage bills languish as our politicians bring out bibles to argue against the granting of equal rights. Every day is a battle to get through, being who you authentically are, without being judged and oppressed by the surrounding environment. But we fight, every day, still. That was -- is -- a triumphant moment in the show, and for us in the community as well, to be seen and heard. To show a solid front. We all hold the line for each other.

Not everyone has to make a coming out statement. God knows Tong didn’t owe it to us, or to anyone but himself, but he still did it and I’m very grateful to him for it. But to everyone else who are still figuring it out, or are pressured, or maybe don’t feel safe enough yet to speak their truth, know that it is alright. We process it in different ways, and also need a conducive environment that will keep us safe.

Ending ment was very touching and meaningful for everyone, because the fanclubs (both local and international) prepared a fan video to play. It clearly surprised the boys because they were ready to start saying their thanks, then they had to turn around and watch. A lot of them started going teary -- but Mile was in permanently smiling mode, and so was Bible. The fanclubs put a lot of effort into making that MV -- I heard there was supposed to be another one that didn’t get aired due to some mix-up with Live Nation, but they’ve said they would post the part that was cut.

Job was the first to speak and he was still recovering from the MV reveal, so he couldn’t find the words right away. Then the “We love you” chant started.

Barcode also got his own chant and it was such an Aww moment. He once again recounted his past, of not being able to travel abroad when he was younger. I’ve been in the same position before, so this message resonated with me. I really hope he finds more success and is able to bring his family around with him abroad soon.

Jeff is an angel and he earned Manila’s loyalty tonight. We love good singers. Really hoping he comes back with his own show.

Apo got his own chant as well, and couldn’t speak for a good few minutes waiting for the fervor to die down a bit so he could be heard. I remember him speaking very fluently in English almost the entire time, and he told us they’d been invited to Manila before (him and Mile), but that they waited until they could bring the entire cast and crew with them. (Note: I don’t remember anything apart from that because he glowed the entire time. I was a bit distracted.)

Mile was adorable, what the fuck. He looked teary-eyed but was smiling the whole way through, and said he was supposed to visit the Philippines before but did not push through because of the pandemic. He also said his father and brother had told him that the Philippines/Manila was unique and cute. He did seem so overwhelmed, said his “heart was shaking” at some point, likely because of the crowd response. It was funny because he said something about wanting to show his shaking heart, which then prompted the crowd to start chanting, “Take it off! Take it off!” pertaining to his shirt so he could “show his heart.” Personally endearing to me that he was smiling at first, thinking we were just making random noises, and then the slow descent into him realizing what we were actually asking him to do. He said a very bashful, “Next time, next time” to placate the crowd.

He asked to speak in Thai to give a more eloquent answer. But there seemed to be some issues with the translator, they couldn’t really catch up to whatever he was saying and there was just silence, so he took the reins back up in English. I was a bit sad by this, that he couldn’t express himself as he wanted to, and have some additional thoughts about the in-show translations later.

Mile and Apo. They deserve their own section for the many moments they had during the show:

The opening scene was well-choreographed, and who doesn’t love Apo as Porsche struggling his way out of his bindings while Mile as Kinn walks about like he owns the place (he probably does). It’s an entirely other thing to see Apo kicking around the place with so much strength and grace. There was a great push-and-pull atmosphere between them, up until Apo ran.

The pier scene was a major kilig moment and everyone was shouting for the kiss every other interval. Once again -- some notable translation issues here. But they were very sweet, Apo’s body acting was great (he was flopping around while standing), and they added in a few more unique touches in how they interacted with each other. Nothing too major. We were all holding our breaths for the kiss and was disappointed when the lights turned off. :(

The post-canon beach bar scene is now one of my core memories. Apo and Mile came in holding hands, pleased as can be, and then Apo made Mile do the cutest twirl. In most fancams of this segment, the sound was always too grainy to make out their singing, but I was pleasantly surprised to find Mile and Apo sing really darn well, too. Obviously not at Jeff Satur-level, but certainly in the category of “those high school boys who would sing and make people fall in love with them.”

When You Say Nothing At All is also personally meaningful to me, given I grew up with my mother playing it all the time and my friends usually covering it for performances. The crowd sang along, as always. Apo kept touching Mile and everyone kept screaming about it; so he touched him even more. Mile had to pause singing at some point and looked so giddy. At another point he just kept trying to make us sing some more even though the song was clearly at its end, going “When you say...” and the crowd sort of confusedly singing back, “Nothing at all...” several times. Apo was also clearly enjoying the sing-along because he took off both of his in-ears to listen, and only put them back in when it was his turn.

Fly Me to the Moon is of course, a piece of the Mile & Apo lore, and Apo sounded really good singing it. He has a strong and clear voice, and a tone made for the more relaxed, slower songs. I’d love to share a video of it because the sound is actually very clear, but the image quality is shit so I’m figuring that out. In any case, cheeky Apo realized pretty early on that we would scream at whatever they did, and do whatever they asked. I think there was a moment where he stumbled a bit, like he was supposed to sing the rest of the song, but then made Mile stop and sweetly asked us if we would sing along with him. Then he restarted even stronger than his first pass at the song, and Mile was having the time of his life off to the side watching this unfold.

Mile did the cutest little tongue-out expression when he said Kinn and Porsche would sing us another song backstage. Please elaborate on this, good sir!

They were so cute running out of the stage, still tightly holding hands :(

Their fanservice segment where Apo first walked out wearing their Thai national costume and looked gorgeous doing so. Then Mile came out dancing in the cutest way to the cutest background music, and came hopping down exactly like a Samoyed to join Apo, where they very cutely walked down the aisle making Thai hand gestures.

I got to see them really up close when they went down the stage. Essays have been written about Mile and Apo looking unreal. I’m not sure I’m the one with the words to make it real.

Apo really does look exactly that beautiful as he does in photos, and actually even more so, except he’s doing it while living and breathing and glowing right in front of you. He’s so gorgeous. His features are very sharp and pronounced. There’s no mistaking him and his physique for anyone else’s. And as my seatmates would say, he’s really just so hot and walks like he’s the shit, which he really, really is.

Meanwhile, Mile has a smile that my friend describes as the “most genuine ever” which is a description I’m fully onboard with. He’s very pretty, much more handsome than even his photos would have you believe. I’m not sure how that’s possible. But he radiated so much happy energy, and was very attractive while doing so. He was just simultaneously laid back and yet the one person in the room you had to pay attention to the moment he decides it.

Their many, many moments together in the ending ment and even during Soundcheck. They would separate and then gravitate toward each other. I loved all of the guitar moments during Apo’s band solo, when he and Mile walked down the aisle in perfect replica of the rockstar guitarist with his vocalist muse. When Mile knelt down doing his guitar solo as Apo walked to the front of the stage and rocked out to the beat, it felt a little bit like he was paying homage. Then he sat by the side of the stage and interacted with fans while Apo worked the front.

The hand-off was already expected but no less cuter for it, when Mile willingly gave over his guitar to Apo even though he was perfectly capable of settling it in its stand himself. But are we going to complain about an iconic MileApo callback? No, we are not. Mile likes to remind us that only Apo gets to touch his precious things, and we are all here just to say, “Yes sir, noted sir.”

Mile’s This Love performance was so fun, the crowd was hyped singing along with him, and he spent a lot of time on the front stage rocking out! He moves so much like a dad, but like an attractive one? This is the weirdest combination I’ve ever had to write out. But it makes sense? I don’t think there’s any way to describe it? Any way his tone suits the song and I think he chose well. The guitars did sound a biiiit wayward without him there as well, which let me just say, he’s a really skilled guitarist and carries a lot of the technical moments on that instrument. The rest of the band are pretty good instrumentalists as well, they sounded quite solid.

I can’t fail to mention Apo as an amazing crowd-worker. He matched the Manila crowd’s energy really well, and was very charismatic, whether speaking in English or in Thai. He knows how to initiate crowd moments and was just a very vibrant presence on the stage. Also he very much projects himself as the leader in a lot of things, I think I somehow expected Mile to do that, and was surprised to find it was the opposite.

There was a cute moment of Apo gravitating to Mile when Mile was about to throw out his guitar picks to the fans, they talked for a bit, Mile threw the pick, and then Apo gave him a light butt tap as he walked past him.

Also a cute moment when Apo made Mile dance with Jeff, and I did capture the part where Barcode and Tong piled onto the dancing as well, it was a fun quartet moment.

I just really want to say it was so great and affirming to be able to see them in person, performing their scenes again, and I really, really want more acting projects from them as a couple or on their own. I need it.

Wrap-up

When I came on show day, I was burnt out at the end of nearly three weeks of stressful work, averaging 3-4 hours of sleep daily, and barely recovered enough to be energetic in a 3-hour long concert. I was worried I wouldn’t enjoy it from feeling so miserable: I developed a migraine during Soundcheck, and then had the issue with my eyesight fritzing because of the lights.

But the Manila concert crowd can buoy you straight out from hell. It was such an energetic, good-vibes bunch, where us and our seatmates enabled each other, screamed together, and just kept feeding off the surrounding energy. It was also great that they allowed some Gen Ad/Upper Box seats down to fill emptier seats in the middle, so you could really see the full strength of the crowd. I would estimate it at about 75 to 80% full, with the gaps really being in the weird upper corner sections. Overall, the experience was as fun as it was because of the crowd’s energy and incessant determination to support the cast in every way possible.

I loved being part of that crowd, and most of all, I loved watching the cast fall in love with it as well. I’ve never aspired to be a famous artist -- but I can imagine this is the vindication one feels, when they are recognized by so many, and see that much support being thrown at them. I’m happy we made them so happy. The entire time, they were clearly walking around half in disbelief, but managed to stay on task despite the frequent screaming.

You can see how hard they’ve worked to make the show as it is, to showcase everyone and interact with the fans as much as possible.

It was not without its hiccups: I have a major complaint regarding the translations. At some point I almost preferred there being no translations at all, because it sounded like bland dubbing in between their lines, and there were entire sections where the translations just... didn’t come, like in Nodt’s speech as Big, or when Mile was talking during his ending ment. I understand translating is hard work, maybe there were audio issues as well backstage. This is generally something that’s the producer’s responsibility. So hopefully Live Nation, if they ever produce another KinnPorsche show, makes it a better translating experience because it was a hiccup that wasn’t easy to overlook.

There were also quite a few sound and lighting issues, particularly in the opening of the show where we paused for a significant lull (5-10 mins). I’ve already talked about Live Nation’s timing with the Soundcheck, but they also had so many issues regarding the concert preparation.

Those aside, the cast and crew made the entire experience worth it. But I’d be remiss if I also didn’t mention the other international fans who joined us, and all of the fanclubs’ hard work putting together the ads around the city, the food and gift support, the photo booths, and the fan concert projects. The crowd was insane last night, and I felt very grateful to have been part of it all.

As I’m writing this, they’re already flying back to Thailand. I’m sad they didn’t get to go around more as quite a few of them wanted to. I hope they do get the opportunity, though, at least privately if it’s not as part of a public event. I really do look forward to seeing them again.

If you’ve reached the end, thank you for reading through all of the word vomit. And if you did also go to the Manila concert, do share your experience as well! Always great to hear the fans’ different perspectives.

TL;DR

KP cast member: *breathes*

KP Manila concert crowd: *INCOHERENT SCREAMING, LAUGHING, CRYING, LIGHTSTICK SHAKING*

#blog #long post #kpwt manila #fanaccount #rambling #worth it #mileapo

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attackfish · 10 months

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I hope you had a good Pesach and are now having whatever chametz you like! Also... by any chance do you have thoughts about a situation in which Iroh, after returning from Ba Sing Se, didn't sit back and let Ozai take the throne? Would that have required Lu Ten to live, or Iroh to have finished the siege? How would that ripple through the White Lotus and the Fire Nation family? How different would things look once canon starts?

Aww man, thank you, and right back at you, but I always cringe a bit when people wish me happy holidays in asks like this, because when I fill them, and I put them in my queue, it just shows how far behind I am, and how long my queue is, lol.

I don't actually think that it would require Lu Ten to live or Iroh to have achieved a final victory over Ba Sing Se. I think all it really would have taken was for Iroh to mourn slightly differently, and for him to come roaring home with enough energy to rally his own supporters, and kick Ozai off the throne and put him in prison. What enables Ozai to take the throne is that Iroh doesn't fight him, that he is consumed by crippling grief, that turns into a years-long depressive episode.

Hell, I have AUs in which Iroh does take the throne after his father's death, and in most of them, what happens is that he has that kind of burst of energy, and then promptly sinks into a severe depression, and doesn't rule in spite of having the throne. The deciding factor here is not Iroh's political or military weakness, it's his psychological state, and his own choices, because he is a father who lost his only child, and he can't handle that.

As for how him taking the throne would ripple outwards, one of the things that allows him to come to grips with the harm he has done to the world and the harm his family has done to the world, and how his son is dead because of this ideology, and what needs to happen for the world to heal, is that he was effectively left alone in his grief to come to his own conclusions, where his actions had very few consequences, and he could hide away. If he takes the throne, that is not going to happen. Even if he hides himself away, if he has a throne, that is an action with a consequence.

#avatar the last airbender #uncle iroh #posts i created #do you want to ask a question it doesn't have to be a question #i ship iroh/tea

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genpact-kinfessions · 3 months

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queue too empty so im filling it up for mod lyney. you're welcome loser ❤️ (please don't flame me lyney knows who i am im not just some stranger insulting them)

ANYHOW i have a lot of kin stories and im gonna periodically share a few of those here. by which i mean whenever i can bring them to mind again cos i am a teeeeensy bit forgetful. lol. lmao. roflcopter, perchance(🎹 you can't just say perchance!)

i distinctly remember after cyno became part of our(my & tighnari's) relationship, he was like. SO cuddly. like whenever one of us were around he'd be hanging off us like a leech. but like in a cute way y'know? like a cute leech...... that feels like an oxymoron but like whatevs x

this became pretty normal and we knew he was just Like That. however when he joined haitham Did Not(also before anyone asks wandy was also added to the polycule around this time)

so i literally walk into our(haitham & i's) house to find cyno with his arms around haitham's waist, dead asleep, while haitham looked genuinely HORRIFIED. LIKE ACTUALLY TERRIFIED but in the same way someone would be scared about like. waking up a sleeping cat by moving. and he just Looks at me like im gonna do anything about it??? lol no cyno needs that nap. suffer ❤️

siiiigh i miss them a lot but it is what it isss 😓 least i can reminisce and shit right? so not half bad

I FORGOT TO ADD MY TAG LYNEY. PLEASE ADD IT FOR ME IN POST I'M STUPID — 🎹

That sounds really sweet and also ridiculously funny, I can almost picture Alhaitham's horror. Silly silly guy /lh

#genshin impact kin #kaveh kin #🎹#4ggravate #haiscara #<- takin' a gamble with the ship names if I missed some lmk /lh #kinfessions #HELPPPP (& true they're not being a meanie head they're jokin around I swear /g) and you're NOT STUPID :<#& hugs for the last bit!! 🫂🫂🫂#fictionkin

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urarakasdiary · 2 years

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Can you (if your comfortable with it) write the main demon slayer trio (romantically) with a fellow demon slayer reader who dislikes unnecessary fighting/ starting fights but won't hesitate in fighting back?

Basically "You start it, I finish it"

Reader won't swing on a demon just vibing (like Nezuko) but won't hesitate to end a aggressive one.

I can imagine a reader like this getting kinda annoyed with innoske's anger and Zenitzu's cowardice and just calmly vibing with Tanjro.

Which queues both of them to get jealous, since they enjoy the calm vibing with Tanjro.

(Sorry it's a really complicated thing lol)

I've always had this idea in mind! in fact, I have a story in my draft, ofc, which has almost the same plot as this! also my first request :0

jealous Zenitsu x reader x Inosuke

You've always thought the Demon slayer Crop was pretty messed up and wrong. How come when people kill each other, go to jail stay locked up for a while, and then set free, while demons, who are trying to get food, need to be given a death penalty? You always had the same mindset ever since your mother - a former hashira introduced you to the world of demon slaying.

With your cold attitude and your shyness, It's always been hard for you to find friends or even people you share the same thoughts with. Until you met Tanjiro, Tanjiro had almost the same thoughts as you. He had pity and respect for demons. He knew that they were once human too and that they probably had horrible lives before.

being friends with Tanjiro meant being friends with the wild boar and the massive simp guy. You had made it crystal clear to them that you didn't like them. Inosuke was too loud and arrogant while Zenitsu cried too much and was loud as hell too, Inosuke had grown quite fond of your personality and you yourself, you were not the finest maiden in town but - you were without a doubt beautiful. Your cold eyes just seemed to have attracted the wild boar.

Zenitsu on the other hand loveeeddd the way you would pick him up or cuddle him (you were actually holding him on the waist when he was injured) when he needed it. He was a massive simp, a gigantic one for you though.

The three of them had noticed how you wouldn't kill demons who were just doing their thing, walking out in the moon, or even eating a human. You wouldn't attack them unless they started the fight or the human they were eating had a slight chance of survival. when they asked why you would shrug it off saying 'they were just eating their food, and the person was already dead so why bother? I don't want to waste my energy on some demon just living their life, geez'

Tanjiro was fine with it, But the other two were really starting to piss you off and get you to your last straw. You didn't talk to them for weeks, Tanjiro being the only person you would talk to.

When they tried sparking up a conversation with you, You would ignore them till they were tired of talking to themselves. 'talking to a rock is better than talking to [name] she doesn't answer me at all!' -Zenitsu

There were Jealous. Inosuke had never had this feeling before, It was a bit weird for him to be jealous. 'if this Monjiro guy can get [name's] attention so can I!'

when the two of them found out about having feelings for the same person they almost had a battle to death, But it soon calmed down when Zenitsu mentioned how you were only talking to Tanjiro and ignoring them.

even though everyone knew You nor Tanjiro had feelings for each other and that you remained as a very good friend of his, they couldn't help but be filled up with jealousy and hatred towards the red-haired boy.

Inosuke made a plan to kidnap you, the thunder boy didn't like the idea saying it would make you hate them more. Inosuke couldn't do anything more than just agree with him.

Zenitsu would act sick or even hurt himself to get close to you and feel your touch on his skin.

Inosuke would try to be calmer and less arrogant around you, for a miracle of a chance that you might actually like him back.

They would be more aware of how they were looking around you-(good or bad?)- Inosuke would wear his boar mask slightly less since he knew he was gorgeous. (which he is)

You wouldn't lie you were shocked by how stunning Inosuke was, You would hang out with Inosuke more than before noticing the changes in his behavior. Zenitsu was an exception though since he didn't change one bit.

he noticed How you, Inosuke, and Tanjiro were always together, he couldn't help but be felt left out. He felt sad, miserable, and depressed. how could you? more importantly, how could they?

He would cry himself to sleep while Inosuke would spend his time with you, going out on missions and talking to you all night until his heart was pleased. He made a brave move one night laying his head on yours, you genuinely smiled laying your's back on his and closing his eyes. His eyes sparkled at your reaction, dammit, his heart was gonna pound out of his chest.

An uninvited guest was raging, crying, and screaming at the scene All the noise caught your attention you carefully held the boar's head and looked back with your cold gaze.

It was Zenitsu throwing a tantrum, You furrowed your eyebrows.

'what happened Zenitsu?'

he would then explain everything to you how sad he felt, how he cried himself to sleep, how much he liked-loved you and how much jealously he was feeling, how much hatred he felt towards Tanjiro.

You smiled at him. Expressing that it was ok to hate someone and to love someone. you slowly reached for his head and looked for his approval, of course, he nodded. you laid his head on your shoulder starring at the moon with two men on both of your sides

sorry if short I was really busy with education shit 😭

#kny x y/n #demon slayer #zenitsu x reader #inosuke x reader #manga #cute #inosuke x reader x zenitsu #urarakasdiary #inosuke hashibira #zenitsu agatsuma #tanjiro #tanjiro kamado #fan fic #anime #no tws #kny #inosuke hashiriba x reader #zenitsu agatsuma x reader #im so fcking tired of life and all the bullshit im going through

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tiredassmage · 4 months

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2, 3, 4, 5, 18 (if your OC was an NPC) for Alucren (and free pass to talk about other OCs if you want :D)

crawls out of the abyss. I said one day, one day I'll work through some of my backlog, slowly. so. I'm gonna finally attempt to wrestle with this one, lol.

[oc as nps]

hands u new alucren screenshot as collateral for takin so heckin' long kladnflkadsfl

2) Would they be a class specific character? & 3) When would you recruit them?

Stabbing at both of these because I think the answer feels cleanest when I tackle it together. For all the time I've left this stewing at the back of my brain, I have yet, at least, to come up with an idea that gave me a strong opinion on class specific, but I do figure Alucren for being the type to only hang around fellow Imperials in the long-term. And that... inclines me towards saying he's a latecomer as far as an NPC, particularly a recruitable one.

And to take the excuse to ramble a bit about characters for that (and we'll go ahead and use that as a cut queue, too):

He's... stubborn, is the simplest way to say it. Raised in the Imperial system and deeply strict about his adherence to it, to go a bit further into it. And it's really not until Fallen Empire and Eternal Throne, where the entire order of the galaxy is sort of challenged by the presence of Zakuul as a major third power, that Alucren really... isn't given any other option but to face his own music and reflection in the mirror and actually... do a bit of reflection and reckoning with it. It's a little a lot maybe to dig into without also digging out a pegboard and some string to explain different versions of events with other ocs and characters and all that to explain, but the short version is, essentially, even though Alucren ultimately gets to a place where he's more comfortable in a scenario like the Alliance and willing to have those sort of cross-faction relationships despite differences in opinion and all that, it requires... a lot of self-realization first that Alucren's... really slow with and frankly pretty uncertain about, which I think I'm gonna pick back up on again for 18, so stay tuned, but.

Again, attempt to do a long thing short, he comes around a bit better to change, but it doesn't change his sense of place. His home is the Empire, and Alucren's core values... really boil down to family, and his concept of duty and honor in... sometimes a bit of a nebulous, conflicting order despite his performances and gnashing teeth to the contrary and that... means he won't leave. Any partnership sort of outside of that typical binary isn't meant to be long-term to him. He's... really not sure how to mentally explain it to himself, let alone justify prioritizing it over what he's built his life on, quite frankly, but don't tell him I told you.

4) Where would you recruit them from? & 5) What would their recruitment mission be?

Okay, so this part might have been the one that gave me the most trouble from this list (probably because it's hard for me to separate them, again >.> lol). I think the most interesting options for his recruitment would probably involve a few creative liberties with how things go in-game. Not to get too double-dipping ahead of myself, but his role is... a little difficult to define because he's not... in one that particularly. fits him. Just because he served as a Cipher doesn't mean he was ever an ideal fit for the role. But it was where he was needed - at least to be a body in a role, to fill a gap or what have you, and Alucren's raising and training requires of him to serve where he is needed by his Empire.

It's fairly likely he arguably remained in some sort of capacity with Sith Intelligence through its incarnations over the events of Ziost and into the events of KOTXX, so one of my thoughts as far as earliest appearance was maybe on Iokath as far as substantial interactions go, but... now that I've mentioned Ziost, it's possible he could've made at least a brief appearance or mention as one of the holdover assets from Imperial Intelligence. I do think he spent probably a fair amount of time working closer to home, so to speak, in between vanilla and more recent content, left to his own devices though...

Anyway, the other consideration that comes to mind is something a lot more recent - maybe tied somehow into events with Elom and Legacy of the Sith. I do think Alucren's... let's say... brand of loyalty was arguably liable to get him into something like hot water with one Sith lord or another sooner or later even if we take out the elements of him that have become so interesting to contemplate when he's around the events of Cipher Nine and Darth Jadus, so it's possible that kind of experience or that kind of relationship and owed loyalties would put him in play as an agent potentially acting on the behalf of a specific benefactor maybe even in addition to his interests as a loyal Imperial operative. His previous roles with more diplomatic and expansion roles prior to his experience as a Cipher may actually make him quite interesting to introduce as an agent for Darth Xarion's interest in the Alliance. As for the nature of that interest, is he possibly there to investigate for anyone suspiciously against the Empire's interests..? Maybe so. Or if the Commander is in more full cooperation with the Empire, he is surely there to simply facilitate a better relationship between merging parties. And help with security risks.

Certainly. Right?

In either case, it's likely less that he has a specific mission which you have to recruit him in so much that he is... introduced during one of the group cutscenes and maybe has a one-on-one interaction with the Commander after where he explains more of his role and offers his services on behalf of his superiors. Think a bit more functionally sort of how Anri and Tau have been so far, though possibly as a bit more permanent resident of the Alliance base with a posting for this particular engagement.

18) If they are recruitable in vanilla story, where are they during KOTFE/KOTET? What are/were they doing?

So, I did say I would push off his involvement, but that doesn't mean I don't have thoughts about this, lol. Some of this comes up a bit in the piece I wrote for him and Taizi (blorbo from friend's brain @hyrohkaah fame) reuniting actually during KOTFE, but I also wanna steal the opportunity to speak a bit more generally about one of the, like, catnip pieces about Alucren, to me.

And it's that Alucren is... afraid. Despite appearances, despite the kind of proud stallion act about him, a lot of it is... uncertainties and fears. And one of the interesting contrasts between him and Tyr because I love making contrasts between them - it is how I started Alucren, after all. To take things that were so integral to Tyr and... wonder what kind of character I'd have if I flipped his core values.

So, Tyr is... Tyr is so fucking ride or die. To a godsdamned fault. Quite possibly to the detriment of his own health. You'll see it in his loyalties, his justifications, the way he wears his service with Imperial Intelligence still as a badge of honor because his loyalty was to people like Keeper and Shara. Tyr doesn't give up on them because he never feels they give up on him. When Tyr says, Imperial Intelligence never betrayed me. He believes it. In the ways that matter, he believes they haven't. Keeper didn't. Shara didn't. Ardun Kothe, even, he... doesn't hold a grudge with - hell, even respects, still - because of this kind of loyalty. And Tyr... doesn't exactly have a lot of people on that kind of list. He doesn't have a lot to lose, and what little he does have is worth giving everything, to him, to fight for. He's willing to burn himself at both ends for that, to keep deconstructing himself and bending his own boundaries so someone else doesn't have to. Tyr's grounded by people that are close to him, but he's also... an idealist. As much as he doesn't realize it. He's someone capable of striving for ideals.

And... the short way to sort of say of Alucren is that... that isn't... him. Ideals and big overarching pictures just don't have as much sway on him. I've already said he's loyal. Both of them have areas where they are stubbornly loyal. And Alucren and Tyr butt heads sometimes because those areas don't always overlap.

Alucren has three older sisters that were and are dearly important to him. He grew up very close with them. Family, as was already mentioned, right? And... he has a strong sense of duty. He has a strong sense of how he was raised, and what he should value based on that experience, that more fairly-off background with a successful Imperial lineage as his backing. Change is... a lot bigger to him. He's a lot more likely to balk at it. It's... intimidating. Alucren isn't... an agent of change, in that sense, where Tyr is. Tyr is... a lot more ready to jump in because Tyr doesn't have that sense of place to lose. Alucren still has an attachment to an identity that existed before his role as a Cipher. He's got things and people that he's... not ready to lose.

Which is all just... a lot of build up to say Alucren's not the first person that would've been looking for the Outlander. Even if they had been close. When the Empire, when his superiors, say they're dead, when the threat of Zakuul is already so close as to have been the attack on Korriban, that attacks on Dromund Kaas, the blockades, all the other tensions implied during the five year period the Outlander is in carbonite... Alucren goes back to Dromund Kaas. He goes back, at least on paper, to be closer with his sisters, to keep them safe. Because he has a duty or responsibility or however else he decides to dress it up on that particular day to protect the Empire, to protect home.

But it's also... because a lot is changing. Zakuul is... upending a lot of what he knew. A lot of that sense of place, a lot of that identity he clung to in his loyalties.

And it's not just "former" Republic personnel being involved that make him hesitate to join something like the Alliance. He very likely wouldn't join the Alliance at all unless someone he knew and cared for was there and had a strong enough conviction in its need to exist and its purpose to argue for him to join them. (Tyr, for example, to go back to the fic, really only gets him there because its Taizi. And Tyr very nearly doesn't manage it. Because Tyr and Alucren have different values and Tyr argues from his understanding of his own. But... for as much as Tyr and Alucren have going on as a pair directly, Tyr's... Tyr would have a hard time convincing him to show up, based on their own relationship. If that was all they working on, but I'm. getting off-topic.)

ANWAY. THAT is all just. a long-winded way to explain that he's back on Dromund Kaas during probably a fair portion of the five year gap and at least the early parts of KOTFE. He might have had some few assignments to take him out to investigate any Republic process during that time, but he asked in his reassignment to stay closer to be with his sisters. And a lot of that time is... him trying to stick to those core three values and... also figure out what they're going to look like in a galaxy that's changing because of Zakuul's presence. Having to grapple with the real implications of his loyalties and his values and what's it all really mean, is this truly important to him, how much of it is all a mask..? All those kind of questions he never really gave himself time to sit with in the thick of a career in Intelligence. Some of it gets reaffirmed, some of it involves some realizations on areas to maybe be more open to change, if not... get ready to actually make those changes...

Which... wow, turned into a whole ramble uhm. >.> Ahhem. I give him a lot of shit for being my fucked up lil guy who is a lil like a bag of marbles dropped across the floor, but he is... he is also just. sometimes my soggy cardboard box guy. And he does some growth in there. Just a lil bit though don't inflate his ego too much.

#answered #dot talk #(a lot of it oopsie lmaoooo)#swtor #ch: alucren #he LIVES. AND SO DO I #considered adding this to the queue but nah i think imma just plauh this out on the dash rn #i hope. any of this is even remotely coherent uhm. it's been a minute #since i've put anything into an answer and i just. i sorta went for it #so much of this silly lore lives in dms okay i just gotta let it be frEEEE #so there u go thank u for coming to my ted talk etc etc #ch: tyr #yea i guess he can get a tag here too since he takes up like 3 paragraphs #get imprinted idiots [bonks my agents together]

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tiikerikani · 6 months

Text

I hate to be That Guy (who starts the queue)

(but somebody has to do it)

I'm trying to keep this brief because I need to sleep so I can do this again tomorrow.

2023.12.09 – Tavastia-klubi, Helsinki

It's cold. I decided to start hovering by the door at 5:15, though I'd already been standing around outside since 5. (Doors were at 6:30.) I can't feel my toes. Why am I like this???

Janne pops out and is going to the mall across the street (he returns later with a bag of food from the supermarket). He thanks me for the miniature and says it's "fabulous".

Senpai comes out carrying a backpack and says hi to me, then goes down the street the other way. I assume their hotel is over in that direction, as I saw three more band members exit carrying bags and going that way.

The space feels so small now, now that I've been to several newer and bigger clubs. I'm dead centre and I don't remember the barricade being so close to the stage in here. I can literally reach over and swipe a set list if I wanted to. When it's this close, being in the centre is no good for taking pictures of Senpai but that's okay today because I'm mostly trying to get more pictures to match my miniatures.

Leo's got an invisible microphone, lol :P

Senpai asks who's coming back tomorrow. A bunch of hands shoot up into the air. "IF ONLY WE COULD HAVE ACTUALLY GOTTEN TICKETS!" "YOU SHOULD DO A THIRD SHOW!!"

Yes my too-much-gesturing is 100% Senpai's fault

Too many of them wearing sneakers today

The Regular Groupies were talking to ... somebody who waves at me. "Hello!" she calls. It's her again!! "HOW DID YOU GET IN TO TAMPERE!??" I don't recall actually seeing her there last week but she'd have known because miniatures appeared there (and she's definitely Teemu's significant other, as the two of them left holding hands).

Janne says that "the set list is the same [tomorrow] but the atmosphere will be different". It won't be the first time I see them on a Sunday and yeah Sunday crowds are generally a bit more subdued.

I also asked him to suggest a song for me to learn next (with the caveat that I might not take it up). He named one of the old old songs; it's in the music book so I wouldn't have to work out the chords/melody. ("Have you learned all the songs from the book???" What, no :D ) He says it's fairly easy but still has interesting subtleties, and that he wrote it with Teemu so it's also, like, written on a piano and thus more playable on a piano.

"But if you want to do a new song..." he continues, "there's the one that we haven't performed yet? Don't remember the name, it goes like..." He's thinking of Jamesin takki and I think it's funny that I'm filling in the song title for him. "It'd be really challenging, I'd say it's the hardest song on the album. It has the modulation and it's in a difficult key...E-flat minor or something?" ("I'd transpose it, I'm lazy :D")

But oh no I know. It's the one that made me seriously reconsider my silly idea to learn the entire album on the piano, which I came up with before I listened to the whole thing.

Yeah I dunno about that song.

(Edit: I just checked my notes, it starts in F-sharp minor, which is much more reasonable. He was probably thinking of Ilman mua, which IS in E-flat minor and which, yes, I did transpose but could just as easily learn in the original key.)

I also think it's funny that they have to take all the equipment and the barricade and everything down just to put it all back up tomorrow. The equipment I understand, to keep it under lock and key, but I think the barricades come down so they can get the stuff out the door? Dunno.

I'm feeling lazy, here's the set list. (It is also on my arm as usual but I've had to come up with new symbols and I wasn't sure I'd remember what they meant by the time I got home.)

[Concert write-up archive and master calendar]

#music #concerts #vesterinen yhtyeineen #set list #pianists gonna piano #amateurs gonna amateur

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krys-loves-otome · 1 year

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Oh! Treat this like a mash-up for all your blogs I follow.

One reason is that I enjoy seeing your reblogs, otome or not. They're overall a rather interesting collection.

Another is that I enjoy seeing your OCs. I don't follow them very closely, but I sometimes take a time to go back and search for them, and they're delightful. I especially like your art with them.

And one other reason is that, hm. Whenever ask games roll by, I like to ask you questions, especially in regards to writing. The way I see it, you tend to offer a very grounded perspective, rooted profoundly in experiences that connect both online and offline world (what I mean by that is that you don't seem to lean too strongly into either direction; equilibrium?), so it's often very refreshing.

Anon or not, tell me why you follow me

Kinda sorry that that this turned into Self-Promo the Ask, but not really

For a short ref of my blogs (in case anyone else was curious):

@krys-loves-otome You Are Here! The main blog where I reblog otome content, both from others as well as my own. Asks and likes come from this blog.

@not-krys is my writing blog where I post all my writing content, be it fanfic or original. I post a lot of wips there, usually at least once a month for WIP Wednesdays. Hope you like OCs, bc I love OCs and I love writing with and about them. Matter of fact, just posted with my IkeSen girls Houki and Ophelia and my ikevamp girl Abby this morning!

@krys-reblogs is my reblogs channel where I post stuff not related to otome. Mostly filled with cats, anime, meta, and Fire Emblem: Three Houses. And Howl's Moving Castle, both the book and the Ghibli movie inspired by it.

I have an art blog, but I had wanted to make into an archive, which meant uploading a lot of content and whatnot, so it's just sitting currently. Might or might not do anything with it. I've got an insta tho /krysimeteri for more art stuff. And a twitter where I do art stuff and wips of the art stuff and talk about ocs. That one is /krys_does_stuff

And for OC related stuff, I also have a masterlist for them, both for Fandom OCs and original originals. It has links for fics and art I've posted on tumblr about them, in case anyone wants a quick link to my oc content!

Now that the shelling is out of the way (lol)...

I like to reblog things as a promotion for friends and cool people, to show everyone what things I think are cool or lookit what my friend has done! It's what tumblr is for! (Just kinda embarrassed that I prefer using the queue system rather than a string of reblogs. It helps me to stay organized and so that I can find things if I need to. But it is slow in posting stuff, thus the embarrassment).

I've been debating some of my study work for my OCs on this blog (like my real sketchy stuff with figuring out different body types and proportions, color studies, and inking practice.) Just unsure as it's OC stuff and studies at that, which might be interesting from an artist perspective, but not so much for the average layperson seeing my stuff.

And I like getting questions and asks! About writing, art, my ocs, or just random things, questions and asks are fun for me! Glad that I can give good advice and such, especially with a grounded perspective. Probably comes from being around for a while, both in actuality and being in online spaces since I was like 12 (y'know, back when dinosaurs wore powdered wigs with backwards caps and said outdated things things like 'radical', 'bodacious', and 'eat my shorts'.)

Thanks for the ask!

#meme thingys #ask krys things #this took so long to finish wheeeze #will give it a morning reblog #bc tumblr is asleep #shhh~

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chaewonplzbiteme · 1 year

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If you bought a VIP/Royalty package to see a K-Pop concert, how would you rank the following benefits? Assume you’re seeing your favorite group and these are all offered.

* Early Access/Entry

* Signed Item/Merch

* Hi-Touch/Send Off

* Group Photo

* Soundcheck

Oh hello~

I may be very biased from my experiences with K-Pop concerts so far. Double digit concert attendance, so strong opinions. I have sampled everything.

First off: - I'm not one to camp from midnight to secure a spot - I may come off as a snob, lol - It does not help that I'm older now - I kind of value my time - I respect the artists' time, too - Did I mention strong opinions?

No. 1: Signed Item/Merch

Nice merch goes a long way~ I dig shirts and caps for the 'generic' merch, and whatever unique thing they produce.

Ironic, considering I value experiences over property. No, please don't look at my room filled to the brim with merch 🙈.

For signatures, live signed goes deep. Knowing that they signed it for you. Just for you. The minute where you can chat with them is a precious icing on top of the experience. Memories to cherish for decades~. I have signed shirts, posters, and albums.

Needless to say, I am not very fond of pre-made signed items.

No. 2: Hi-Touch

Sadly, this experience has been heavily diluted after the pandemic. Nowadays the idols are mummified behind a glass wall. I think they dub it Hi-Wave now. I still shelled out $100 for seven exclusive photocards, though... That's how they get me.

Actual Hi-Touch or handshake events are genuinely nice though. I remember how I made Gahyeon laugh when I clapped their manager~.

No. 3: Early Access/Entry

Early Access / VIP is often tied to GA / Standing spots. Early kpop concerts abroad did not divide EA and regular GA once inside of the hall. It was nice nonetheless, first dibs on merch and better spots until you had to get a drink or take a piss. But everyone was friendly enough to let people back to their places, even at the front, not like anyone has to be scared of losing their spot.

When I go Standing, I go EA. No exceptions.

Once they started dividing EA/VIP and plebs into separate sections... I can only think of someone reading a lone comment on the internet complaining about the lack of a clear benefit once inside the venue.

Capitalism has made EA/VIP a weird thing. 2018 Dreamcatcher, all Standing/GA, non-divided, was ~90% VIP. MIK Festival was 80% VIP. Music Bank GA was VIP-exclusive lol. Only non-VIP were seated.

The idea of cutting the queue by slamming some bills on the table seems to be an illusion. What a shame.

No. 4: Group Photo

The Blackpink group photo was hilarious. Photo of the group on stage - artist not included. What the fuck.

Aside from the jokes and horrible benefits (parking spot, anyone??), I agree it is a nice memory. But it is not one I really value. I don't take selfies or pics of myself in general, so I figure it is a character thing.

I do have a stash of pics the artists took with me. But I know I will never look at these pics ever again. I will treasure the memory of them taking a picture with me though~.

No. 5: Soundcheck

While this may be a good opportunity to see the idols, I'm not going to queue for hours for 10-15 additional minutes. Hours ahead of the show. And then rejoin the regular (VIP) queue. As you can guess from my answer, I did not attend the Blackpink soundcheck, cba.

Another facet: This is capitalism at its best. In the old days, you had a friend at the venue who let you in. Or sneaked in. Now you just unload some bills.

I prefer to spend the time eating lunch with friends and chatting with them in the queue.

No. 6: Send Off

Is this seriously being offered as a benefit? Back in the days fans got to do this for free, and now we need to pay for it. How nice.

I am not going to hang around for another two hours and force them to be still pretty for one minute of them exiting the venue and entering the van. All for a single wave.

I am going to leave the idols alone once the concert concludes.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

---

Bonus: Seated or Standing?

These days I prefer seating spots. I can still see the idols well in most venues. Seated is also perfectly suited to appreciating the intricate details of choreographies. Can't see their feet when in the pit.

But nothing beats getting close to the artists. I would like to quote a friend of mine:

"I want to get so close until I can see the sweat on their skin!"

#asks #kpop concert #kpop concert opinions #i admit it I'm a snob #not a communist

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n7viper · 2 years

Note

Mihri for, 1, 12, 15, 26, and 45 please?

HELLO - I am bad at answering things. My day was just an endless cycle of one thing leading to another and answers not being written down. I actually immediately copied this into a doc and started answering when you sent it. But uh, then I cleaned out my likes and filled my queue, and then I ate lunch, and then I spent time with my mom, and then I played DAI for like 6 hours. It's not my fault, I was playing as the cutest boy ever and couldn't stop myself.

ALSO I reblogged two different ask games around the same time and I’m not sure which one you meant, but I’m extra so I’m gonna answer both :) Because I can. An extra treat for your long wait!

This is a long-ass post, so it's behind a cut for your viewing pleasure :)

PART 1

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?

This is something that’s still WIP, and I don’t entirely feel like sharing the full details at the moment. But the first thing to come to mind is that Mihri has a medical emergency after the siege on Adamant, on the journey home. Mihri is typically the type of person to pretend like things are fine and just… not deal with them at all. Very healthy! The post-Adamant incident leaves her shaken for some time. She has a hard time wanting to leave Skyhold once they return. The medical emergency is something that has the potential to happen again, so that’s always in the back of her mind and terrifies her. But she still likes to deflect and say that she’s just a little shaken after being physically in the Fade. It’s a great excuse, really.

12. Your character has the opportunity to have one wish granted. Would the wish only benefit them, someone else (one person or multiple), or everyone? And what would that wish be?

Hmm, I thought about this for a while, and the one thing that I think really fits this is the removal of her vallaslin. It’s something that she’s wished for for years, prior to the game. She’s pretty anti-religion and hates that she had to get them in the first place. She regrets them deeply. I’ve mentioned it in little bits before, but this is something that comes to light after some late night drinking. She finally admits her resentment for them, and Solas happens to be around to hear it. When she’s sober the next day, he approaches her and tells her about them, similarly to the Solavellan scene. So that’s how my non-Solavellan OC has her vallaslin removed.

For a more vague answer, Mihri would be the type to tell other people that of course she’d wish for something to benefit herself because she’s selfish, while quietly telling herself that she’d wish for something to help others because she believes herself to be a good person. Realistically, she’s actually selfish and she’d wish for something that benefits her. :)

15. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

I sat on this one far too long, tbh. The pain of young OCs lol

I wouldn’t say it’s super deep or dark, but no one in the Inquisition knows that Mihri has been effectively exiled from her clan. She doesn’t feel the need to tell them, and their efforts in getting info out of the Lavellans are not fruitful. She’s not particularly ashamed by it — she didn’t really get along with them well anyway. It’s just something she doesn’t care to discuss. Cullen is actually the first to know, and the way she says it so nonchalantly takes him by surprise.

26. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened?

This was another one I sat on for a bit. Solas comes to mind first, but that’s sort of a given, yeah? Unless you have low approval with him, I guess.

Real answer that isn’t in the game? Her parents. She resented them for giving her up to Clan Lavellan so easily and not fighting for them to stay together.

45. What’s their spirit animal? What animal do they just look at and say, “That’s me”?

Mehhh I dislike this question. She would probably be a cat though. Mihri is peak cat stereotype. She’s a great cuddler, and she's super fucking adorable, but she’ll tear your curtains to absolute shreds and throw your glassware off the countertops for fun. She’d agree with that assessment wholeheartedly.

Editing note after I wrote this: one of my cats shreds napkins and other similar paper products. It's Mihri behaviour.

PART 2!

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

She is just Mihri Lavellan. I don’t think Dalish really have middle names. As far as name meaning goes, it doesn’t carry much significance in-universe. If the question is asking why I chose the name, I was literally just using a name generator and the name “Mihrill” came up. It sounded pretty cool, but I decided to remove the two L’s at the end.

I will say that I've tossed around the idea of her giving herself a middle name post-game. She loves the concept of having a middle name. I have no idea what it would be at the moment, but the more you know, I guess.

12. What is their favourite food?

Veggie soup! That’s very nondescript, but she honestly just really likes any veggie-forward soup.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Mihri is great at following recipes. She knows the basics of cooking, though she’s not gonna start throwing stuff together and making her own recipes. However, she hates cooking. It’s boring. She would rather not do it if given the chance. Everyone who eats her food loves it and encourages her to cook more. She declines.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Singing and dancing! She's always humming or singing something. And all emotions except happiness are usually hidden. She hides sadness, pain, any Bad Emotions.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

I think everyone sees little fragments of her. A lot of people see her as someone who takes nothing seriously. Some people see her as a whore (mostly the templars around Haven… for mostly good reason). Some people see her as a mystery to be solved.

Mihri mostly sees herself as just another person. She's whoever you want her to be.

#thank you for the ask!!#even if I'm really slow to respond I love getting them!#I could talk about my baby all day #and these are so helpful #kenna wake up - new mihri lore just dropped!#mihri tag #ask game answers

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thekingsfairy · 2 years

Text

Brain Dump: Magic in AWCA

Filled out from this post.

I’m not great with names so I have some placeholders like “AWCA” and “Space Witches” which needs an actual name like “The Spaewits,” ya know? (Like this.)

“The Space Witches who think they’re hot shit”

The Spae Wit ho thin ot sh

Spaewithothinotsh

Spaewithinots

spaewinaughts

“spae” means prophecize actually so I’ll probably keep that “naught” as in morally bad and wicked lol but also sounds like astronaut

Spaewithnaught

The Spaewinauts or something like that.

The Saewits. The Saewits?

♤ The main foundations:

What can be done with magic?

Fight god lol Creating things “from thin air,” usually simple things. I don’t particularly like the word “mana” but basically HP/MP because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Usually people use their MP but it’s possible to use your HP in emergencies but it really sucks like life out of you.

head is like intelligence, wisdom

body is like strength, dexterity

heart is like charisma, constitution

[Space Witches] are special in their ability to make Power Crystals and store magic for later (greater) use. They have Power Crystal magic, lightning/electricity, and use grimoires.

The [Space Witches] are reductive and use the Greek Four Element system. They still stubbornly stick to it for the other races, which is inaccurate and unoriginal but they suck so.

Fire for the [Fae] & Fang

There aren’t that many Fae, so no one really remembers what they can do except some of them shoot fire. Fae are actually a sub-race of the Old Gods.

The Space Witches can’t stand the Fang and vise versa, which creates this paradox of secrecy regarding the Fang’s “demonic” abilities.

illusion

“cloning”

dream magic

Water for the magically-gifted Water People & Water Dragons

water manipulation

blood magic

water purification

clouds & mist

Earth for the Old Gods & Mountain Dragons

farming

nature

healing

commune with the dead

paper

beast/creature/cryptid

durability

Air for themselves

Storms, lightning

Flight, duh

Sound, including sensitive hearing & soundproofing rooms (again, kinda inaccurate to categorize as air)

What can’t your magic do.

create life / make something from truly nothing

mimic life with a lil golem to your heart’s content tho

create a different form of life, but that soul/life force comes from ~somewhere~ “I would like to be reincarnated as a tree, please. Or a mushroom.”

Teleportation is a thing, portals, resurrection, time and space manipulation; it’s just that magic costs a lot.

Slowing, stopping, rewinding, fast forwarding, speeding up time all seems like things one wouldn’t really be able to do.

So time manipulation is more like bouncing along the timeline(s).

Time flows, there’s not stopping or changing that, but one can flit between times.

Dreams are the “exception”

No random Energy Shields. Dodge the damn fireball, lazy ass

A brain only goes so fast; the body can only take so much; materials can’t suddenly become more durable, they are what they are

can’t make yourself just remember more, you’d have to evolve the brain. can’t make yourself read faster, consume information/experience faster.

The “human”-like brain already has so much space you don’t really need to expand it.

“super strength” is exclusive to those more durable races; a solid uppercut still takes out pretty much anyone

doing some evolution to take on the racial qualities means you physically have those characteristics. So want more durability? Need dragon scales. Queue “dragonborn” (no dragons were boned in the creation of this race)

Can’t achieve absolute zero:

On the flip side, this magic can’t destroy anything truly. which is a real pain in the ass at times. This one is a new concept that just kinda needs to exist to balance the first one, I believe.

Nothing lasts forever

hard to keep under control; it’s always growing and expanding which not contained properly

interfere all you want with reincarnation. bring your great-great-great-granny back for tea.

Is there a price/cost of using said magic?

An individuals spiritual energy, no one really has that much on their own; it’s possible to tap into one’s life force but, considering how hard it is to keep a lid on things, that can do sideways for more than the individual in a hurry

With [Fae], the average bear can heat their tea, light candles, and cook without strain. They can throw a single fist-sized fire ball with their total spiritual energy

Water: purify your drinking water for the day, treat a small garden, and keep yourself clean. Create one hand-sized water bubble OR a single emergency water-breathing spell for like three minutes.

The average bear’s whole entire MP store makes a crystal about as big as their thumb nail.

Heal a scraped knee with no problem. One life threatening injury such as a stab wound? Takes like five medics. A life threatening injury like decapitation? With thirty people and some good luck, probably.

View and chat with the spirits nearby on the daily, not a problem. Hardly noticeable.

Summon a “human”-sized spirit? Be careful and take it easy after. It’ll basically knock the breath out of you.

Wanna have great-great-great-granny for tea? Yeah, a few hours of tea time once a week won’t break the MP bank. No promises she’ll be more than a 2D, cardboard-cutout, filtered version of herself, though. Which is still sweet.

Wanna give the ghostie physical affect? Yeah, you’re gonna need to either store up energy in a power crystal or risk dipping into your HP. So if ghostie is physically affecting the space around them on their own, that’s a spirit with some hella MP. Probably ate some other ghosts. Or living creatures. Yikes.

What does it feel like to use magic?

strenuous, explosive harder to keep a lid on it/put the lid back on than to unleash the magic

So, wanna heat your tea? It’s easier to get the heat started than to shut it off before you crack your teacup and accidentally use more MP than you need to.

For conflict reasons: What can go wrong by using or having said magic?

Mad and throwing a fireball punch? Not keeping your magic in check? That’s a recipe to eat up your MP and HP in one go.

Crystals are safer bc there’s a hard cut off; you can’t accidentally use your HP

Magical build up is a thing. If you don’t use it or put it somewhere, that’s a recipe for it to come out when and how you don’t want it to

♤ Expanded points:

Who does magic affect?

All.

What can/can’t magic affect?

God?

Can everyone do magic?

Not all races. If you’re from a magical race, then, in various volumes, yes.

Does magic have a feeling even when not being used?

Yes, so that means you can tell when it’s gone or low. It’s a special kind of tired.

Do people have to learn magic or is it intuitive?

Just because it is intuitive doesn’t mean that’s a good thing. One really should learn how to control it so things don’t go kablooey.

Who teaches magic?

The micromanage-y, smothering [Space Witches]

Village elders, usually connected to religion and philosophy.

Is magic inherited by blood?

Naturally, yes, connected to race. The races and villages fiercely protect their educational secrets from the [Space Witches].

Does the magic tie in with the religion of my world and if so, how?

Oh hell yeah. The most powerful of each type of magic/race/culture are regarded as gods.

Do people need instruments through which to use magic? ie. a talisman or wand

I guess you could count the Space Witches needing Power Crystals to use other race’s magic.

Is magic a thing a person has or is it acquired? ie. do they just have magic they can access at any time or do they need to drink magic juice™️ for a quick burst of power?

You have the amount you have, and you can use crystals.

How is magic used in daily life?

This varies greatly between cultures.

Water People: magic is sacred, don’t use it willy nilly in daily life. Curate and nurture your skill through daily training.

Grey Mountain Dragons: Go ham. In fact, show off how strong you are often. Beat your chest. Get in a fight and heal yourself to establish dominance.

Forest People: sure, but the skills they hone aren’t really practical since they are incredibly specific. They value individuality, so while Space Witches may use lightning, a Space Witch born in the Forest Village would specifically hone maybe lightning bolt throwing and maybe two other skills (spells) in their life.

Space Witches: quality of life should be raised at every available moment. Why stir your tea yourself? But don’t show off. Only reveal your wings when using them, but when are you really going to use them? To fly? How obnoxious. Make your own power crystals. But not too much, that’s gaudy. Oh, you know forty spells? Poor thing. Oh, you have 400 spells/skills in your grimoire? No one, likes a show off.

Old Gods: Easy as breathing. Chat with a cryptid. Turn a skimpy bush into a lush topiary. Cook a stamina replenishing, soul healing meal. Herbal healing teas for whatever ails you.

Lower Witches & Fang: do what you wanna do. Fortify your awesome armor with your power crystals. Indulge in magically heated healing green tea baths. Cuddle with your tiger familiars. Bust out your wings whenever you feel like it.

There’s still Fae, Blossom Dragons, Water Dragons, and all the lil intersectional bits.

Can anything stop a person’s magic?

Angels are the only ones who can fully take away someone’s magical ability in part or as a whole.

You can take away but not destroy someone’s magic.

Take someone’s current MP for yourself with a handy dandy power crystal. Just don’t, uh, dip into their HP on accident. Or do. That’s, uh, your prerogative.

Can magic be found anywhere?

Not in all races and creatures.

#brain dump #setting #magic #cultures #races

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wholesomemendes · 3 years

Note

Omg congrats on 1k🥳🥳 concept- a blurb about love languages and like ur guys styles are diff lil angst pls heheheh

Author's Note: Hiiiiiii. How are you lovies? I know you probably all hate me cause I just disappeared but hopefully this will kinda make up for it for those of you who are actually still here. Fun fact never used the queue before so we'll see how that goes. Also I vaguely remember the read more thing not working that well with asks, but I don't remember what I used to do to fix that so hopefully this works. Love all of you and miss you *mwah* please interact with me so I get more motivation lol

The second the door shuts to the condo you share with your love, you can already hear his unmistakable voice call out for you, “Baby, come here! I have a surprise for you!” You roll your eyes, knowing that some insanely expensive gift was probably waiting for you around that corner. Shawn wasn’t the type to randomly spend a large portion of his money on things he didn’t need, but when it came to you, there was no limit to his spending. Anytime he saw something that reminded him of you or that he thought you’d look stunning in, he couldn’t stop himself from swiping his card. It wasn’t like you didn’t appreciate the copious amount of gifts he gave you; you knew he meant well and that one of his love languages was giving gifts. However, as someone who was raised to be independent and not accept “handouts” from anyone, you found it hard to be constantly given things you didn’t work for and you didn’t believe you deserved yet. You didn’t find it fair that you weren’t at that stage in your life where you could gift Shawn something as expensive as what he gives you, but you constantly get those things from him. It wouldn’t have phased you as much if it was just for holidays, but this was an almost every other day occurrence and no matter how many times you told him not to buy things for you, he never seemed to listen.

You sighed, putting your purse on the table and making your way towards the bedroom, desperately wishing you could just relax into a warm bath after your hard day at work instead of facing whatever your loving boyfriend had in store for you. Opening the door you were met with Shawn’s smiling face, a large box with the word Gucci written in bold lettering across it. You put on a fake smile as your heart sank. This couldn’t be what you thought it was could it? “Hey,” he put the box next to him in favor of pulling you onto his lap, “How was work today?” He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips and for a moment, you let yourself get pulled into the utter bliss that was Shawn Mendes.

“I won’t lie, not the greatest,” you sighed as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Why, what happened?” he asked, his arm tightening around you to pull you closer.

“It was just insane today and my boss was in a bad mood and...I don’t know it was just bad and I’m exhausted.”

“Well, I think I have something that might cheer you up!”

“Shawn…,” you said in a mix of a whine and a stern tone, “I told you no more.”

“I know, I know,” he rushed out, placing the box in your hands, “I just want to spoil my girl. I can afford to do so and there’s no one else that deserves it more than you do.” It hurt your heart to hear him talk like that when not a single part of you felt you deserved it. You were nowhere close to where you wanted to be in your life career wise and you certainly weren’t near Shawn’s level of success. “Just open it, please?” he gave you his softest puppy dog eyes that always made you cave.

“Ok…” Opening up the box your heart stopped. There lying in the delicate paper was one of the most beautiful handbags you had ever seen; the one you had secretly been saving up for for almost a year now. You thought you had hid it from him so well, always looking at it when he wasn’t there to make sure you could still get it, and even putting together a small envelope of extra money to use towards it. This was supposed to be your first big designer purchase in honor of your huge promotion at work a little under a year ago today, but of course Shawn had to go and ruin it all for you.

Meanwhile, Shawn was oblivious to the disappointment and resentment brewing inside of you. “Do you like it?” he asked with the biggest smile, “I noticed the tab open on your computer last week when I borrowed it for those pictures and thought you liked it!”

“Why would you do this?” you whispered, a crack forming in your voice.

“What?”

“Why would you do this?” you almost snapped at him, looking at him with tears that held mixed emotions.

“B- because I love you,” he stammered, not having prepared to have this reaction. In his head you were going to come home, see the gift, smother him in thank you kisses, and maybe, just maybe, you would make love to him for the rest of the night. Never in his wildest dreams did it end up like this.

“If you loved me you would have listened to me and not bought this, or anything for that matter!” you exclaimed as you stood up off his lap, “I’ve told you so many times I don’t want you buying anything for me but you never listen!”

“I- I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“No that’s the thing, you didn’t think! I just- god, Shawn, this was it, the one thing I was going to do for myself after all these years. I was only $100 away from my goal, I was right there! But you can’t just think with your head for one second and think about how your girlfriend who always tells you that you don’t need to buy things for her might be planning on finally achieving one of her goals of having enough money to spend it on something like this!”

If your eyes weren’t filled with tears and you weren’t so blinded by your emotions you might have been able to see Shawn’s heart visibly breaking on the bed, leaving him looking like a hurt puppy. “I’m so sorry, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll, I’ll return the bag or or you can pay me back for it so it’s like you bought it yourself!”

“You don’t understand because you’ve never had any problems with money. It’s not the same anymore, Shawn. No matter what, all I’ll be reminded of is that you bought it first and not me.”

“What can I do? I, I swear I’ll do anything,” his voice cracked as his own tears filled his eyes.

“I don’t, I don’t know. I need to go.” You knew you were being dramatic, but after 2 years of the same thing with Shawn over and over again you had reached your breaking point.

“No please, I’ll fix this I promise,” he pleaded, standing up to face you.

You successfully avoided him so you could grab a small bag with your things, “Shawn, I need space for at least one night.”

He reached out for you this time, his large hand grabbing your arm desperately to turn you around, “Please, don’t go. I won’t buy you anything else, I swear!”

“It’s not that I just, I don’t know. I’m upset and I’m tired and my head is all over the place and…” His large hands cupped your jaw and pressed his lips hard against yours, giving you no space to pull away. The slight taste of salt from both of your tears on your lips broke your heart more than it was before. It was hard to explain why you weren’t fighting him on this kiss; it was almost as if he was kissing you so that it was easier to let you go for the night.

His lips released yours reluctantly with a sigh, “I’ll pack my things for the night. You stay here.”

“Shawn…”

“No, I was the one who messed up so I should be the one who has to leave. I still have a backpack I never unpacked from when I got back from LA last week and I can stay with my parents for however long you want. I- ,” he looked down shamefully, his hands finally dropping from your face. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make you happy, but I wasn’t even thinking of what would really make you happy. Just, just tell me when you’re ready for me to come back home.”

He made his way through the bedroom, grabbing his phone, wallet, backpack and guitar before making his way through the door. Your heart cried out to go after your love, but your feet stayed planted almost in shock of everything that just happened. You were still mad at him, upset with him, and if it was possible, even more upset and mad at yourself. So as much as you wanted to run after him, you let him walk away with half your heart in his hands.

____________________________

“Mom?” you sniffled as you sat on the edge of your bed, the infamous handbag discarded next to you as if it was taunting you.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” the soft voice of your mother filled the speaker.

“I messed up,” you confessed, “I really messed up and I don’t...I don’t…”

“Take a deep breath, dear, and tell me what happened. I’m sure it can be fixed.”

“I don’t know if it can. I’m a horrible person!”

“You are not a horrible person. Now tell me exactly what happened.”

She listed carefully as a mother does while you went through moment through moment of your lash out with Shawn, up until the point where he left. “I feel terrible, Mom. This was just the one thing I had planned to do for myself and he never took into account how I would feel about this even though I constantly tell him how I feel about gift giving.”

“Sweetheart, I know you so badly want to be an independent woman and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you’re in a relationship now which means not everything you do can be independent. Think about it from his point of view: all of these things he gets you he gets out of love. He doesn’t do it because he wants you to rely on him for money, he knows you’re not with him for that and it’s probably one of the reasons he loves you so much; you treat him like a regular person. Not someone who is just a pretty face that can buy you whatever you want and get you fame. However, he is someone with money and that means he can afford these things for you. It’s not to belittle any of your accomplishments in your career or financially because we both know how supportive he is of you. It’s simply because he wants to show you he’s thinking about you and spoil you to make you happy. I know gifts aren’t one of your main love languages, but it’s definitely one of his. I bet if you had told him about this bag and how much it meant to you instead of hiding it from him, he would have never dreamed of taking it away from you. I understand your immediate frustration, but maybe think about if you’re truly upset with him about this or if you’re upset with yourself for not being able to reciprocate.”

“You’re right, Mom.”

“Of course I’m right, I’m your mother!” she let out a light hearted laugh, “But seriously, go apologize to that boy. He’s probably beating himself up over this.”

____________________________

“Are you and Dad home right now?”

“Yes, why is something wrong?”

“Can’t I just be coming over to say hello?”

“Of course you can, but I can tell by your voice that something is wrong.”

A sad smile formed on his face at the fact that even over a car speaker, his mom was still able to read him like a book. “Y/n and I got into a fight.”

“Oh no,” his mother gasped, never hearing many difficulties between the two, “What happened?”

“It’s my fault, Mom, I was being selfish,” he replied defeated, his guilty heart weighing down on him, “You know how I love to give gifts right? Well, Y/n isn’t always the biggest fan of it because she loves being independent. But I can’t help it! She’s the first person who hasn’t been overjoyed over every gift I give her and I never understand because I just want her to be happy and I know they’re things she would like so...I just don’t think! I don’t know why I can’t take a hint and just do what she wants me to do! I just want to make her happy, Mom, and feel loved and all I’ve done is annoy her and upset her!”

“Ok, before you keep going on this self-deprecated spiral, I need you to tell me what happened. And no more blaming yourself until I’ve heard everything.” So he did. And just like the conversation unfolding back at his home, his own mother listened to every word he had to say.

“From my understanding,” she began, “And I’m not saying this to try to defend you, but it sounds like she is battling some problems of her own.”

“No, you don’t understand, I wasn’t listening to her…”

“Oh will you hush! I wasn’t finished. Could you lay off the gifts and make them every once in a while? Of course. However, I believe her outburst today had something to do with some financial conflicts she is facing and maybe just an overall bad mood. You’re not perfect, obviously you need to tone down the gifts just a little bit, but you were definitely not in the full wrong here. There was no way she could have expected you to know about her intentions and plans so you can’t blame that on yourself. She definitely felt that she had to hide it from you in fear that you wouldn’t listen, which might be another issue if she believes that you aren’t willing to budge on your point of view. But you should not go beating yourself up over this! She’ll come around to her senses and you two will be fine.”

“Thank you, Mom. I hope so, I miss her already,” Shawn pouted, wishing so desperately that he was driving back home instead of away from it.

“Of course. Now I’ll make sure your room is all ready for whenever you get here and I’ll stay up to give you a big hug. How does that sound?”

“Amazing, I’ll be there in…” the sight of your name popping up on his center console broke him from his thoughts, “Wait, Mom, she’s calling me. I’ll call you back.”

“Good luck honey!”

With shaky hands, he hit answer on the phone, “Shawn?”

Even just hearing his name out of your mouth brought him comfort, “Yes? Are you ok? Did something happen?”

“No, I’m fine. I mean I’m not fine, but physically I’m fine. Anyways, I’m going to ramble so I’ll just try to say this quick before I stray too far away from what I was going to say and before I get myself even more worked up again because who knows how long…”

“Y/n,” he stopped you, knowing you would ramble on forever, “Why did you call me?”

“Please come home.” His heart nearly lept out of his chest at your words, not needing to hear anymore. “I’m so sorry, Shawn. I should never have lashed out at you and…”

“Don’t say anything else. I don’t want to do this over the phone. I love you, please don’t apologize and I’ll be home in half an hour.”

“But, Shawn…”

“I love you and I’ll see you soon.” With that he hung up the phone and sped his way back through the Toronto streets to the girl he loved most.

____________________________

The second you heard the door open you ran to launch your body into his arms, abandoning your previous post of walking holes in the floor. He gladly accepted you against him, holding you tight in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, new tears rimming at your eyes, “Please forgive me.”

“Shushh, we both can apologize in a second. I just want to hold you.” Shawn maneuvered the two of you back onto your bed with you in his lap, still clinging onto him for dear life. He felt your tears wetting his shirt and while it broke his heart to know you were

hurting, he hoped that being close to you for these few more moments would show that he wasn’t mad at you. After a couple minutes passed, he loosened his grasp on you, “Y/n look at me.” You did as told, revealing your tearful eyes to him. “I’m not mad at you,” he promised as he wiped your tears away, “I’m not upset with you in any way. I forgive you for whatever you feel you need to be forgiven for and I hope you can say the same with me.”

“No, you have nothing to apologize for!” you protested, “You did nothing but try to show me love and make me happy and I’m so sorry I couldn’t look past my own selfish issues. Talking with my mom made me realize that the reason I have always been so apprehensive to receiving your gifts is because I’m not at the point in my career that I thought I would be and I'm letting out my resentment at myself on you. I know how wrong that is of me and I am so sorry for it. There’s nothing wrong with you expressing your love through gifts and I can’t express how sorry I am for making you believe that you were the issue.”

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry, too. I should have talked with you about this and taken into account how you didn’t respond the same way as my friends and family when I give them things and should have taken a step back. I realize my gifts are excessive and I will work to tone them back so they are more special. I love you, Y/n. Even being away from you for an hour after a fight was too much for me to bear.”

“I love you, too. I hated being away from you more than anything.” He kissed your lips passionately, transferring every emotion he had for you into that kiss. Hands caressed your body as yours held him tighter in fear of him disappearing and neither of you wanted to relive this night ever again. “Shawn?” you whispered against his lips, receiving a hum in response, “Thank you for the bag. I can’t wait to tell everyone how my loving and thoughtful boyfriend got it for me.”

“You don’t have to, I can return it.”

“Return it? This is my dream bag and the fact that you wanted to get it for me because you could tell I wanted it means a lot even though I had the absolute worst way of showing it.”

“Stop,” he kissed you again, “I don’t want you to worry about it any longer. Let me just love on you how I had planned tonight.” And while it might not have been the way Shawn had planned the night to go, he was ending it exactly how he wanted to.

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