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airenyah · 2 years

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"I will kiss you" (threatening) - A Meta on Ayan's Flirting

I feel like in BL there's sometimes these characters who'll immediately make flirty comments to their love interest from the start (often even before the characters have really connected) just because it’s a BL and needs romance and flirting by force of genre.

And that usually tends to annoy me bc it often just feels so forced, but this time I absolutely LOVED Ayan’s flirty behaviour towards Akk all throughout episode 1. Because unlike most BL characters, Ayan isn’t being flirty for the sake of being flirty. Neither is he trying to make Akk fall in love with him. No, on the contrary: all his flirty behavior is a strategy with the aim of getting rid of Akk.

Hold on, I’m gonna elaborate. (And buckle up, because this is going to be long.)

So, the series immediately establishes the two opposing characters:

Akk – the rule keeper

Ayan – the rule breaker

We immediately know there is going to be a conflict of interests between them and that the story will take us to them resolving this issue.

Part 1: Teachers’ Bathroom scene

I want to start with the scene in the teachers’ bathroom. Yes, I know Ayan doesn’t actually make a flirty comment in that scene but I think it’s still an interesting scene to take a look at as it’s their very first interaction and introduces us to their dynamic in this episode. And what is their dynamic? Well, Ayan is just minding his own business and it’s Akk who keeps bugging him, threatening him, attacking him, never leaving him alone. Which leaves Ayan in a position where he has to defend himself.

We immediately get introduced to this pattern in the scene in the teachers’ bathtroom. Although really we have to go all the way back to the car accident. As it’s only been one episode, we as viewers don’t yet know what Ayan was really doing and whether he had a hand in the accident or not, but for now we can assume he was minding his own business and definitely wasn’t bothering Akk personally. It’s Akk who spots him and immediately has it out for Ayan, running after him, following him all the way to the toilets and snapping at Ayan for breaking a school rule first thing as soon as he’s caught up to him.

This is “attack” no. 1, initiated by Akk. However, Ayan remains completely unimpressed and sasses back. So Akk “attacks” again: “Why aren’t you wearing your school uniform?”

Ayan is still not having any of this “you gotta follow the rules” shit, so he firmly informs Akk that he has no interest in doing so. With that, the conversation is over for Ayan and he pushes Akk aside to exit the bathroom.

However, Akk isn’t yet done with the conversation, so he starts round 3 of “attacks”, trying to establish his authority as a school prefect.

So once again Ayan is forced to defend himself against Akk who just won't leave him alone. He does so by getting sassy again and bringing up the car accident from earlier.

Three times Akk was bothering Ayan, three times Ayan needed to find a way to make Akk lay off him. This is a pattern, that will follow us throughout the episode.

Part 2: “Catch me if you can”

Now here is where the flirting starts.

Turns out that Ayan will be in the same class as Akk and Akk immediately requests that Ayan shares a desk with him. Thanks to the incident in the teachers’ bathroom Ayan is very well aware that Akk’s offer didn’t come out of the goodness of his heart, but Ayan accepts the seat nevertheless. And Akk doesn’t plan on hiding his intentions anyway. In fact, he very explicitly threatens Ayan: “Whatever you’re here for, I’ll be watching you. Keep that in mind.”

This absolutely is an attack on Ayan’s boundaries of personal space, and now Ayan’s had enough. You wanna get all up in my personal space? Fine, two can play at that game.

I love how you can just see the moment he takes the decision to play when that tiny smile that forms on his face.

And what does he do?

He puts his hand on Akk’s thigh, turning Akk's threat into a challenge: “Catch me if you can.”

And it works. Akk is quick to push Ayan’s hand off, looking kinda uncomfortable. Ayan smiles smugly. He's won. And now he’s got a weapon against Akk.

Part 3: “You punch me once. I kiss you once.”

The scene starts out with Ayan about to enter the school. He’s standing there, minding his own business, lost in thought when–

Akk strikes again. Still bugging Ayan about the school uniforms. Ayan, rather annoyed, retaliates by questioning Akk’s world views. This pisses Akk off and he aggressively grabs Ayan’s collar.

It’s the first incident of physical violence between them and it’s initiated by Akk. Even Ayan calls him out on it: “Is the rule keeper breaking the rule by using violence against me now?”

And seeing as Ayan definitely didn’t like having violence used against him, he launches into a counterattack. However, he doesn't punch back, he doesn't use violence in return. No. Ayan has just figured out a weapon and he’s going to use it: “You punch me once. I kiss you once.”

Weaponized flirting. We love to see it.

Anyway, he makes some kissy faces at Akk to really drive home his point, trying to get Akk to let go of his hoodie. And while Akk isn’t pushing Ayan away, it still works insofar that Akk completely freezes. He goes into error 404 mode and finally shuts up.

Then the school announcement calling all the prefects cuts through, which pulls Akk out of error mode and makes him look away towards the school. He still hasn’t let go of Ayan, though, and when Akk turns back, Ayan is still leaning closer, challenging him. Now that Akk is able to move again, he finally pushes Ayan away. He finally lets go of Ayan's collar, resulting in a satisfied smile on Ayan’s face.

Ayan has the upper hand. Akk can’t quite accept defeat just yet and threatens violence again: “If I didn’t get called, you’d get hurt.” But as usual, Ayan is not impressed and only taunts him: “What a shame. You just missed a kiss from me.”

This exchange keeps going for a bit, with Akk threatening violence while Ayan keeps behaving aggressively flirty:

Akk: “What a jackass! You’ll have to deal with me one day.” Ayan: “Bring it on. Right here. Right now.” Akk: “Shut up. Don’t you think I wouldn’t hit you.”

With that last sentence Akk gets physical again, pulling Ayan’s hood with force, still not leaving Ayan alone.

So Ayan doubles down. He plays it cool, stands his ground and gets even more into Akk's space than before: this time, he’s the one grabbing Akk by his collar, pulling him closer as he goes “I just love people who are cocky.”, blowing another kiss at Akk for good measure.

This time Akk doesn’t freeze but pushes Ayan away immediately and walks off.

Ayan has won. And to rub salt into the wound, Ayan calls after Akk again to make one last kissy face at him.

You can tell it’s a strategy, because Ayan completely drops his flirty demeanor as soon as Akk is out of sight and goes straight back to business, back to where he was before Akk had interrupted him.

Part 4: Ayan writing into his notebook

I was actually gonna skip this because not much is happening here. But in the end I did quickly want to point out that here we have once again the pattern of Ayan minding his own business (writing into his notebook) and Akk interrupting him (showing up with his friends, bugging Ayan about not being in class). Ayan defends himself with a sassy comment. Lucky for Ayan, Akk and his friends leave shortly after that as they get distracted with prefect duties. Ayan doesn’t get flirty with Akk in this scene, since Akk doesn’t bother him long enough for Ayan to be forced to bring out the flirty weapons in order to get rid of Akk.

Part 5: notice board scene

This scene is actually kinda funny, bc Ayan’s flirt-to-get-rid-of-Akk strategy works, but entirely on accident.

Anyway, let’s start from the beginning. Ayan is minding his own business as usual, looking at the flyers on the notice board when Akk (who followed Ayan after class) disturbs his peace again, this time by getting physical right away, grabbing Ayan’s shoulder and turning him around while asking “What do you think you’re doing?”

Ayan is startled and you can see how for a moment he tries to figure out what to do.

In the end he decides to stay friendly, telling Akk somewhat of a truth: “Just looking at these leaflets. They’re interesting.” But in the end Ayan can’t help himself but irritate Akk just a little bit after all. “The World Remembers gang is so cool. The next Hyde Park is going to be so much fun.”

This irritates Akk indeed, who snaps at Ayan: “Don’t you even think about joining them.”

Ayan retaliates by implying feelings. “Are you worried about me? Are you afraid i’d be cursed like them?”

This starts an argument between the two of them. Akk voices his suspicions of Ayan, Ayan questions Akk's views on rules, Akk isn’t having it and deflects with “Who sent you to mess with this school?”

And this is where it gets funny. Because this comment makes Ayan roll his eyes and then he’s ready to get into some more arguing… except he suddenly notices Akk’s tilted pin and gets distracted. He’s like hold on, I really gotta fix that before we can continue our argument, but what he doesn’t expect is that this first moment of genuine connection, this first display of care overwhelms Akk. Akk quickly leaves the scene. You can tell that Ayan didn’t mean to fix the pin in an attempt to get rid of Akk from the way he watches Akk walk away with a confused face all like Huh?? Weren’t we in the middle of a fight just now?? Aren’t we going to argue some more??

Compare this with how smug he's looked so far whenever he was flirting on purpose.

Part 6: Foreign Language Department Scene

Ayan is off doing his own thing again, looking around the foreign language department and actually acting kinda shady for a change. Akk finds him in the hallway and calls out to him: “What are you doing? What are you doing here?”

For once, Akk isn’t just a minor annoyance in Ayan’s life but rather in that moment Akk’s appearance is very inconvenient for Ayan. He needs Akk gone asap, so instead of arguing or making up an excuse Ayan immediately launches into a flirt-attack, so that Akk will leave quickly as he’s done all these times before. “You’ve been following me everywhere. Are you into me, prefect?”

Spoiler alert: this time this strategy won’t work.

See, the thing is that Akk actually kinda is into Ayan now, whether Akk is aware of it or not. He’s been obsessing over Ayan all episode, constantly searching for him, researching him, thinking of him, getting close to him. And then the pin. Something happened to Akk when Ayan tried to fix the tilted pin, and it affected Akk so much, to the point where he couldn’t focus on his homework while the uniform with the pin was still in sight.

Plus, by now Akk has also gotten used to Ayan’s flirty comments. They don’t hit him out of nowhere anymore.

So when Ayan asks if Akk is into him, he does take a moment, still unsure how to deal with it, but he doesn’t look very surprised or shocked.

He swallows, and then decides he won’t be backing off. In fact, he even takes a little step closer to Ayan when he says “I’m not a friend you can play with.”

Ayan still needs Akk gone, though, so he tries again: “Do you think of me as more than a friend, then?”

And Akk falls back into his old habit of threatening violence again. And it’s actually pretty funny because he tells Ayan “If you don’t shut that foul mouth, it will get punched by me.” knowing full well Ayan said he would kiss Akk if Akk were to punch him. And Akk's saying this in the context of something LGBT having already happened to him during the pin-fixing moment, too. (Wanting and asking for a kiss much @Akk? lol)

So we get this bit of fun dialogue where they’re partly bickering and arguing, partly trying to win superiority over the other (Ayan needs superiority so that Akk will leave, Akk needs superiority so Ayan will comply to the rules and respect his status as a school prefect) and partly genuinely flirting while also slowly moving closer and closer into each other’s physical space as both of them refuse to back down.

Ayan: “Do you think of me as more than a friend then?” Akk: “If you don’t shut that foul mouth, it will get punched by me. You’re small but talk so big.” Ayan: “I’m small and what? What can a big guy like you do to me?” Akk: “I can do more than you think.” Ayan: “Do you even know what I’m thinking?”

It’s only when someone walks past that Akk pushes Ayan away. However, Akk doesn’t leave, not this time. He stays right there in order to continue arguing and to continue bugging Ayan: “What are you doing in a teacher’s room this hour?”

I know I just said something about them “genuinely flirting” while the entire point of this post has been all about how Ayan’s flirting is a strategy to get rid of Akk. Let me tell you, there’s no contradiction here, though. I said what I said. While their little exchange from above might have ended with an air of genuine flirting, the reason why Ayan started flirting in the first place was definitely to make Akk leave. And how do we know? By what comes after.

Because during that little exchange from just now Ayan learns that the flirting is no longer working. Akk isn’t backing down, he’s not running away this time. So as soon as their bickering is interrupted and Akk starts the entire argument anew by asking Ayan what he’s doing there, Ayan drops the act and changes his strategy. From then on Ayan doesn’t make a single flirty comment to Akk for the rest of the scene and tries different things instead.

First he tries a believable excuse, claiming that he's seeking advice from an English teacher. This strategy doesn't work either, because Akk calls bullshit on this claim and doesn't believe him. They bicker, then Ayan brings up the flower pot and the school curse to rile Akk up. Ayan also insults the school, which pisses Akk off and he falls back onto physical violence again, aggressively grabbing Ayan’s collar, pulling him closer and snapping at him.

Akk continues to ask “Seriously, what did the school members ever do to you? What did we do to you? Why are you ruining our reputation?”

And now Ayan is angry. Instead of trying to make Akk leave, Ayan now shoves off Akk’s hand and walks away himself.

In conclusion:

All throughout Ep. 1 Ayan was flirting with Akk with the purpose of pushing Akk away. And I cannot WAIT to see him go from

“I will kiss you” (threatening)

#the eclipse #akkayan #ayanakk #ayan x akk #akk x ayan #te ep1 #te meta #temetamine #akkayan meta #my meta #the past 3 days i was working on this instead of studying italian rip me who has an important italian exam in october #anyway i hope the sentences aren't too long and confusing #that's the native german speaker coming through whoops #i swear i tried my best #and i wanted this up yesterday already actually but thing is i'm also currently on holiday #anyway this is mostly just for myself anyway to sort out my thoughts #and also for p who wanted to read them #anyway interesting thing that i've noticed:#akk tends to try and solve things with violence (he's always the one grabbing ayan and pulling ayan and threatening ayan with violence)#and when ayan is defending himself he never goas for a rough or violent approach #(physical violence that is)#he mostly just talks back a lot and well. flirts. lmao #anyway i think that's a topic for a post on its own

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a-bio-hero-writer · 2 years

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Lovely! So in case you didn’t know, it’s the anon with the earlier crush requests here. So here’s an idea, and I don’t care if it takes a long time to get to, time is one thing I have plenty of: how do you think Antroz and/or Vamprah would react to having a crush on the reader? I mean yeah, they’d probably be focused on their goals, but let’s just pretend they weren’t trying to destroy the world here. Or it could be as they would normally act. Anything works. Thank you and have a nice day!

Here ya go :)) Have fun

Also I’m sorry for the gifs, they ain’t as great as they should be

I believe that he would be the oblivious type

As in completely unaware about his feelings

He would try to have his crush near him all the time, however would have no idea that he has feelings for the said crush

And what is better than having their rank increased

Like a higher rank general/his right hand/advisor or something along those lines (garmadaddy vibes except he’s serious and more focused + actually applies honour to what he’s doing)

"Love, can you take these to others? I would really appreciate it."

"Darling, have you seen my supersuit weapons?"

All those pet names, and him still being unaware that he is completely in love

100% will fight others.

"Back off with thy filthy hands, no one touches the heavenly one"

An unusual trait that would frighten probably everyone else but is completely normal for the two: Antroz, while still being in flight, randomly scoops up his love interest into the air, like an eagle does with its prey or something like that and continue the conversation about the important matters

"Have you checked whether we’ve got enough equipment."

"I had Chirox do it"

"Huh, he must’ve been displeased."

"As if I care."

"You do, he’s on your team."

"You’re right. What’s next on the list?"

He chose his crush as his right hand, but in the end it’s pretty obvious that the roles are reversed

He’s the one who would do (pretty much) anything for the said crush

"I’m not sure if that plan will work, Antroz. Wouldn’t it be better to leave the battlefield before everyone gets destroyed?"

"I’m not truly fond of that idea. However you are my #1 advisor. Whatever you wish shall happen."

"Oh, in that case I want to go on a trip to Voya Nui."

"This can be arranged. But we’re killing Teridax afterwards."

Canon can go and cry abt me altering it can’t say I care

The love interest confessed first though.

"Oh… Ohh… so that’s why I’ve been drawn to you."

"What do you mean?"

"When I recruited you I just simply fell for you."

"??? You weren’t aware of that until now-"

"Yeah, can we now go back to the world domination plans please?"

Mostly enjoying silence together

Pretty much wordless communication as well

Vamprah needs something? Say no more he actually said nothing but oh well, crush already is there next to him with the needed thing

In difference to Antroz, I believe that Vamprah first became friends and only fell afterwards

Hence there was trash talking about other members at first because of reasons specified later

Especially during the times of need

"I think Chirox is in trouble"

"Honestly struggling to care, to be fair"

Ft. Even more trash talking whenever he gets jealous that crush is spending more time with others

"[Name], Icarax ain’t shit"

"What one considers a knight in shining armour to be, Icarax is more of a loser in aluminium foil, so why even bother getting mad."

"Shots fired"

He likes the idea of taking his crush to the hunts

Since, after all, the two work really well without talking, so why wouldn’t it be helpful in practice

Another typical thing is for the crush to hold onto Vamprah’s back while he climbs or is in flight and Gavla isn’t around

Fights others too

He’s the nervous type when it comes to love stuff

Friend? Stoic behaviour, no need for any special emotions

Crush? Panic.

Tried very hard to keep his cool

He really did

"Everything is going to be fine, it’s just a crush."

"Hey Vamprah"

"I love you-"

Yeah, it was a fast and unexpected confession

But It worked so he isn’t bothered by it

He starts to get bothered though when questions about his past resurface

"What do you mean nobody has never been interested in you in a romantic way?"

"I used to have an imaginary special one for a while, but then they left me. Apparently I was giving them a silent treatment."

"But you hardly ever speak-"

#bionicle #bionicle g1 #x reader #Vamprah #Antroz #im sorry if either of the characters seem ooc #i swear i tried my best #that awkward moment when chirox got more screen time than vamprah even if it’s a commercial

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isjasz · 1 month

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🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌖

(happy eclipse day yesterday🎆🎆🎆)

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ignitefangs · 4 months

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I owe you my life for giving me this idea

(forgive me for my sins)

#the band ghost #the band ghost art #swiss ghoul #sodo ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #im sorry for taking so long #i tried my best i swear #he was just in a silly goofy mood

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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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1 : Soap never had any idea that woman wanted him carnally, he's not the most observant on that front (he never noticed Ghost flirting with him and thought his love was one-sided for the longest time, but tbf Ghost was also very discreet about it)

2 : He sewed the hat, eyepatch and hook himself, because he's the best uncle and then got distracted as he was wrapping it up, so now he's watching a tutorial on youtube about how to build a voice box. Honestly how hard could it be, he builds explosive devices as a hobby (listen, Price doesn't have to know)

3 : He is out to his family, but doesn't want his mum to know he has a boyfriend because he knows she'll insist on meeting him and welcoming him to the family and making a big deal out of this, and he knows that Ghost isn't ready for that.

4 : Christmas is obviously a very hard time for Ghost, but he is very very in love with Soap and some days still can't believe that it's mutual, but then his Johnny does something like that and his head gets quieter while he's melting a bit.

5 : For the people that didn't see my other post : the bird is a Caique parrot, and they're supposedly very energetic, a bit loud, medium sized, unintelligible, very friendly to what they consider their family, adventurous and danger prone, with an explosive personality and a hate of boredom, so basically the adhd bird.

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost is hard edges and sharp knives but simon is babygirl #i tried my best to make soap's sister look as much like soap as possible #as someone whose siblings look nothing like them i find it hilarious i have no idea why i swear i have the weirdest sense of humour #hc that simon's very first wait no second actually bc i feel like the first special interest for every child with autism is dinosaurs #but wait plot twist birds are dinosaurs so still hc that simon's first (or second if you want) special interest was birds #and he still loves them very much and both soap and his sister have adhd and his sister has a reoccurring hyperfixation on birds #and soap thinks ghost and his sister could get along very easily and is waiting very impatiently for the day ghost is ready and he can #introduce him to his family #but also ghost is very wary of families and especially since there's a young child because he's scared that he'll bring them death like he #feels he did to his own family #i initially wanted to colour it but then i wondered why my brain was working against me and very quickly decided that colouring all that #would be a nightmare and that i already hate colouring so why would i want to torture myself #anyway pls be nice with me i've given all i had to make this lmao

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geodenes · 3 months

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can someone PLEASE be insane with me about them

#mordeson #regular show #benson #benson dunwoody #(ꈍᴗꈍ)♡#mordecai #regular show fanart #regular show benson #regular show mordecai #mordecai x benson #GUYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCHJ i rlly wish i could talk as in much depth about them as i would like 2 bc i could spend hours!!!! i swear 😪#i can't believe i only had a single post of them I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAKE FAN IM SO SORRY #btw has anyone thought of a name for this ship besides mordeson? i always wanted 2 make one like those big fandoms do ! it's just so.. cool #i suggest bluegum or videoclip ( videogames + clipboard ) in case there are no options available yet:3 #I HOPE THOSE DON'T SOUND LAME AAAAUGH I REALLY TRIED MY BEST TO THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD BUT MY BRAIN IS USELESS 4 THIS KINDA STUFF #anyway. thank u very much bee for letting me use the idea of the cat beanie hehee<3

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mari-lair · 1 year

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Mitsuba is a mess, and his relationship with Kou just high light it.

(Head up: I’ll call the human ‘Sousuke’ and the supernatural ‘Mitsuba’)

Mitsuba wants friends, and he seems to have focused on Kou to get that, which in hindsight, is a very strange decision. Kou was not his smoothest interaction in Hell of Mirrors, he wasn’t even Mitsuba’s first interaction outside Tsukasa: Nene was.

Nene had no expectations of how he ‘should be’ based on Sousuke, and she had a lot of time to bond with him.

They bantered and tried to help each other from danger even when scared, and Mitsuba did feel a connection: He ran to her rescue before even Hanako and Kou when the ceiling fell, and he treated her as the priority, only saying his farewells and looking at her fondly when he kicked everyone off his boundary.

It seems like they are already friends, or at least, on friendly terms, so why does Mitsuba focus on Kou after Hell of Mirrors? What changed?

He got obsessed with the idea of identity.

Wanting an identity has been a big part of his character since his introduction.

Mitsuba’s existence is depressing: He thought he was a ghost, a human that died, and forgot his life. He tried to remember who he was but he couldn’t, so he felt isolated, and empty, and this feeling got worst when Hell of Mirrors didn’t show him anything. No reflection, no fear, nothing.

He displayed some fraction of a desire here: “Who am I?” "I want memories.”

It’s a wish that stuck with him before even the basic ‘wish’ to get out, which was what lead Nene to him and kick started the arc in the first place.

Mitsuba said “who cares” when Nene talks about seeing him before (seeing Sousuke) but he does care. A lot. It is not a passing wish, it genuinely bothers him.

Unfortunately, this wish to ‘remember’ is crushed before it can even became a proper goal.

He is told he is an artificial ghost, he never had a life or a heart for No.3′s mirrors to read: He’s an empty monster, created for the hell of it.

Mitsuba is not an idiot, he can see Kou is using him to pretend Sousuke is still around and Tsukasa is using him for his entertainment.

The lack of love sticks to him, it hurts, but what seems to have affected him the most is his lack of previous life. The idea that he was never human and have no life to remember.

That he doesn’t have anything.

And he can’t accept that.

Unlike Sousuke, Mitsuba's main goal isn’t to make friends: It’s to have an identity, to be somebody.

When he masters his school mystery powers he doesn’t seem to spare Nene, Tsukasa, or even Kou, much thought, but he gets obsessed with Sousuke: He watches his life from the moment he steps into the school, to his graduation, and his destruction.

The mirrors finally show him something, and even if there is this disconnect between himself and Sousuke, it’s still something.

We are told his wish is “to be human”, and that is a big part of it, he wants to have a life, to be visible and tangible, but he wouldn’t have tried to be Sousuke if his goal was simply to have a human body and experience being alive.

Mitsuba is contradictory: He wants to have his own identity, be worthy as himself, but he doesn’t like himself, he feels like an empty frankenstain monster built on the shadows of Sousuke, and being a human with no memories, no connection, no goals outside ‘living as a human’, is still empty. Barely an existence.

So he tries to be Sousuke, he gets lots of friends that call him Sousuke, which is a first name he doesn’t have, and tries to have the relationship he had with Kou. He steals Sousuke’s backstory and Sousuke’s dream, and tweak it to convince himself he is living his own dream.

He keeps following the previous No.3 rumor, even if by accident or force: First by stealing No.3′s seat number “to not disappear”, and after by stealing Sousuke’s dream “to have something"

But there is still a distance between him and Sousuke that shows replacing him was never his intention: Mitsuba doesn’t guard the photography book Kou gave him in Hell of Mirrors, he doesn’t try using a camera at all in picture perfect, he doesn’t like being mistaken for Sousuke.

He just likes to feel like somebody that can realistically be loved.

Even if deep down he is convinced it’s not true.

He only snaps out of his Sousuke obsession and goes back to pay attention to Kou as an individual, not as a major link to an identity he feels empty without, in chapter 48, after he opens up and Kou pays full attention to his wishes as Mitsuba, not Sousuke, for the first time.

He begins to care about Kou on a personal level: He stops watching Sousuke and starts watching Kou.

Considering how much free time Mitsuba have, I assume he watched more of Kou’s life through the window: The way he saved Hanako in the Young Exorcist arc, his big talk when he learned about Nene’s life spam, and so on. But even if he didn’t, since I have no proof he did, Mitsuba still witnessed how he did not fight back while in danger with Sousuke, and everything in picture perfect.

He knows Kou has a martyr complex.

Kou wants ‘perfect’ solutions and feels very distressed when he can’t have them. He’ll put himself in danger to give ‘anyone’ a happy ending, this, paired with Mitsuba’s view of himself, makes this conclusion perfectly reasonable:

So even though he doesn’t feel comfortable calling Kou a friend, Kou still makes him feel like he matters. Like he is worth grieving.

He likes when Kou listens to him and notices things about him, because it makes him feel like his existence is loved, which Mitsuba has convinced himself it does not, and never will.

An act as simple as remembering he has a fondness for penguins made him melt.

And while I am sure he would be happy if anyone did something so nice to him, he is extremely affected by Kou in specific. He values what Kou does much more than anyone else, his actions stick with Mitsuba to the point of madness since their first meeting.

In Hell of Mirrors, Kou should have been perceived as a lunatic: He is a stranger that’s way too touchy and speak nonsense about personal things Mitsuba wasn’t a part of, but even though he doesn’t even know Kou’s name, he is speechless by Kou.

The memory that stuck with Mitsuba in Hell of Mirrors wasn’t this weird stranger grabbing his face and demanding he remember something that he never experienced, it was Kou’s watery smile, the clear love, and relief he felt when seeing what he had believed to be Sousuke.

I’m sure Mitsuba had no idea how to react to having someone cry of joy to see him, but the way Mitsuba's survival instinct stopped working when Teru tries to kill him is unbelievable: Mitsuba is so focused on how Teru remind him of Kou, on how seeing someone that looks like Kou with such cold and cruel eyes doesn’t compute, that this ‘wrongness’ take all his attention, leaving him uncapable of processing the deadly sword on his face.

He sees Nene, Sakura, and Natsuhiko, distressed on many occasions, and while he does get sad for Nene and can empathize with them all, when Kou is the one troubled he pays full attention, he goes out of his way to help and freak out when Kou gets too sad. He goes as far as to put a pause on his wish to die to make Kou stop.

His joy also affects him more than anyone. When Kou is happy Mitsuba is always star struck.

He forgot every Nene smile but played Kou’s watery smile on repeat after Hell of Mirrors. He constantly frames Kou as if he is bright like stars or larger than life.

Even when he completely disagrees with what Kou says, Mitsuba still pays full attention. Is like he can’t look away when Kou is paying attention to him.

Because of it, instead of being dismissive or unimpressed, he gets very shaken and frustrated when Kou promises things he doesn’t believe in.

Kou have a lot of power over Mitsuba, which Mitsuba doesn’t nescesarily appreciates.

He wants to get closer but he also want a break from Kou.

Mitsuba isn’t very good at handling strong emotions, but he also has the bad habit of dismissing casual feelings or forgetting them.

He may be a very sweet supernatural, more emotional and empathetic than most, but in the end, he is still a supernatural: He does not get attached to people easily, and have an odd sense of priority.

He doesn’t have a high standard of how ‘caring or nice or alive’ someone need to be for them to be worthy of being his friend, he just want someone, anyone, to hold on to.

And yet he unconciously doesn’t allow himself that.

We can’t justify his sudden lack of interest in Nene, who was the closest thing to a certified ‘friend’ he got in Hell of Mirrors as him putting a mental block on her after learning of her lifespan: He just has no desire to be closer to her, be it because she wasn’t awake when he was told he is a frankenstain and therefore doesn’t see Mitsuba as the monster he sees himself, so he feels a disconnect, or because of something else, but regardless, he has convinced himself that she isn’t someone that he can care about, or isn’t someone that will care about him.

The same goes for the broadcasting club.

It is understandable why he doesn’t consider Tsukasa a friend, since despite how useful and competent Tsukasa is (he kidnaped no.4 as a present for Mitsuba, keeps him alive, gives him no.3 power and so on), he is hurtful and scary. But Natsuhiko and Sakura have shown to worry about him and go out of their way to make him happy.

They welcomed him with open arms, and they may not be perfect, but they do try to listen to him, they do care.

Natsuhiko was genuinely distressed when Mitsuba was in danger. He may be very goofy, but he tries to help enough that even Mitsuba acknowladge.

But Mitsuba does not consider Natsuhiko a friend, an annoying sibling, or anything.

No matter how desperate he should be to connect with others so he doesn’t feel empty he just... don’t.

He can’t put a label to the people he surrounds himself by, not on his own. He doesn’t cling to any bond he might have created, so he still feels alone, and with no reason to stay in the near shore.

He gave up on his current connections.

He gave up on being human and making new connections.

He would have gived up on the idea of friends as well, if it wasn’t for Kou.

Kou have a lot of power over him, and Mitsuba want to be Kou’s friend very badly but he was basically told point blank Kou doesn’t feel comfortable calling him in specific a friend.

He does get his hopes up after Kou jumps off the roof for him in picture perfect, but throughout all of the manga, Kou never called him a friend, he only ever called Sousuke a friend.

So once Mitsuba’s body started be unable to hold itself together, and he had to eat supernaturals to stay around, any kind of hope grew too troubling, not worth the pain and self hate of merely existing, so Mitsuba gave up on being his friend. He decided he just doesn’t care anymore. About anything

Or so he told himself.

The moment he sees Kou all happy to see him and worried about his health, he can’t look him in the eye. He either doesn’t have the courage to hurt his feelings (cause he knows Kou's sadness makes him super uncomfortable), or his determination to die wavers.

He hold on to him, and instead of giving up on this connection too, his ‘last wish’ is to spend time with Kou.

He still clearly want to be Kou’s friend, or more than friends, he just didn’t want to think about it.

The penguin destruction wouldn’t have distressed him so much otherwise. The idea of going to a festival with Kou wouldn’t be useful if Mitsuba didn’t get excited and looked forward to hanging out with Kou.

#if you feel like i rushed at the end is cause i did i am sorry #but i swear i tried my best to put the boy under a microscope properly #i just don't have the brainrot nescesary to go insane at lenght on a main character #tumblr i love you pls show it in the tags #character analysis

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