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#i thought shouyou was the only one who made him the way he is today and that's why i misinterpreted gintoki's character
sankatsuka · 3 months
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Gintoki Sakata Discussion: Takasugi's Influence on Gintoki - What it Means to Truly Protect Your Soul
This is DEFINITELY overthinking it and stretching it beyond canon, but nevertheless I wanted to share my recent thoughts... Spoilers for the entire story, of course. Also, warning for Takagin/Gintaka.
Edit 22/2/2024 (marked with *): Small section added for more evidence on how Gintoki was never a naturally straightforward person.
Maybe it was Takasugi who ironically inspired Gintoki to be who he is today: the man who never gives up, even if he's beaten down and everything seems hopeless - he will stand back up and protect everyone and everything around him. Just like how Takasugi senselessly was as a dojo challenger.
When Gintoki was younger, he was never like this. He was just fighting for his survival. When Gintoki first meets Shouyou, Shouyou points out how Gintoki was just wielding the sword to protect himself in a harsh, bloody environment.
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This is why Gintoki doesn't give up when sparring Shouyou. He needs to be as strong as possible to keep protecting himself. Gintoki brings up how he has never lost to an adult - as if he wants to beat Shouyou simply so he can never lose ever again (so he wouldn't end up dying).
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And then, Shouyou mentions how monsters are something born from a bloodstained karma. Gintoki is naturally drawn to bloodshed and death, because losing meant death in the environment he used to grow up in. So he needs to be strong and be capable of killing others so he can survive in such a place. You can just see it in the fear in Gintoki as a child standing on a pile of corpses.
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(It's probably why Gintoki carries his sword around with him everywhere as a child, too. So he feels safe at all times.)
This all goes to show how Gintoki would have never had anything he would want to fight for as a child. He would just fight to be with Shouyou who was the only one he could trust or to protect himself. That's why this personality to want to protect everything within his sword's reach was definitely never innate.
Then comes Takasugi, whose Gintoki's first impression of is an irrational kid who would challenge a poor temple school with no actual reason other than wanting to win. You can see how Gintoki is clearly confused by him.
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And even after losing many times, he just wouldn't give up on coming back. Gintoki even tells him to give up - he had no reason to keep getting hurt and beat up like that. It wasn't like he had to fight for his survival like Gintoki, he was clearly a privileged kid.
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It is only when Takasugi wins and laughs that Gintoki no longer expresses this confusion and disagreement with Takasugi's actions. It's shown in how Gintoki suddenly tells Takasugi to come back, when Gintoki had initially told him to give up.
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As if Takasugi's and everyone's smile and laughter after all that ridiculous irrationality made Gintoki realize something that made him change his mind.
Gintoki had a glimpse of Takasugi's way of living - to fight to the very end and keep getting back up for what you want, even if it was silly and stupid. In the end, you'll be rewarded with your own laughter and the people around you laughing along to your sincere, honest spirit.
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It was a pointless, dumb way of living, but everyone was still laughing like that and happy. So maybe there was actually some worth in living dumbly and straightforwardly like that.
This may even be why Takasugi's laughter always stuck with Gintoki, even as he cut him down. Because it defined his life - that you should live by facing the present - just as much as Shouyou's words to use a sword to protect your soul stuck to him.
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It was Shouyou who first taught Gintoki that what you truly want to do couldn't be the desperate instincts driving you, but rather something deeper down that should feel genuine - the soul. Then it was Takasugi who came along who seemed to demonstrate what living as your soul really was like - to do what you felt like doing in the moment, no matter what the people around you would say.
Even Shouyou encouraging Takasugi's pursuit suggests how this was Gintoki's lifelong answer. And only Takasugi could have demonstrated it best for Gintoki to imitate (instead of imitating Shouyou, as Shouyou had warned him against).
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It truly feels like Takasugi is the humanity Shoka Sonjuku cultivated (Katsura did already know what he wanted, after all).
Takasugi's straightforwardness could have inspired Gintoki to tap into his own dull feelings deep down that he carries as he lives his everyday life. If those simple feelings for Takasugi were to grow stronger, then could there be such a thing for Gintoki too? Instead of being drawn to the joy of beating someone stronger than him, Gintoki could realize he seems more inclined to just living for some reason--
Even with no ambitions, he was still fine with just sitting around doing nothing. No matter how mundane, monotous and boring his everyday was without the excitement of a dream, Gintoki was still living for some reason. Maybe his joy in life was right there then--
--It was people. We see throughout the story that Gintoki is solely motivated to fight for the people around him.
Gintoki's actions have always, always been motivated by a desire to protect the people around him. He loves them: simply seeing them laugh when they want, cry when they want and fight to live as their truest selves. So isn't it fine for him to just want to fight for something as simple as that? Just like how Takasugi only fought for the petty reason of growing stronger.
This could be why Gintoki can now confidently say that he just loves the world as it is, even despite all the tragedies that's happened in it that made him suffer.
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Not only did Takasugi potentially inspire Gintoki's present way of life, but Takasugi may even be the embodiment of what Gintoki found himself loving most about the world - that imperfect humanity of simply living, chasing what you want, getting lost, failing and suffering, but celebrating those small victories when you finally get there and laughing with everyone. This soul is what Gintoki always wants to protect within Edo, too.
After all, the mundane moments they shared in Shoka Sonjuku and Takasugi's laughter are the only things running in Gintoki's head as he resolves himself to cut Utsuro-Takasugi down. Gintoki truly loved them all.
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If this wasn't the case, Gintoki would have never told Takasugi to come back. If Gintoki's motivations was never just the joy of seeing people be themselves, he would have set out and pursued whatever his soul wanted from being inspired by Takasugi's straightforwardness. He wanted to see Takasugi again, because he wanted to see that sincere, straightforward soul once again.
It could be why Gintoki is the one who disagrees with the way Takasugi does things in the present more than anyone.
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If it was Takasugi who taught him that happiness of being sincere and straightforward with chasing what you wanted, and given that same spirit was exactly what Gintoki realized he loved most and wanted to protect - Gintoki would fight with all his heart for Takasugi to be that person Gintoki loved again.
It's also a nice touch that Gintoki says "I, the you who is me" when declaring he would never give up to Takasugi, as if implying how Gintoki took that lesson of straightforwardly never giving up from Takasugi himself.
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Just as much as Gintoki's acceptance of Takasugi helped him, Takasugi's straightforward passion helped Gintoki just as equally.
*More evidence that Gintoki was never the person he is now is what he chooses to do after the war. Unlike Katsura and Takasugi who went off to pursue their goals, Gintoki's first instinct was to wander around and detach himself from people out of fear of losing people again. Gintoki seems to be more naturally a coward, and only when he lets people in does he find the courage to once again embrace the straightforwardness that Takasugi demonstrated.
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After the events of the story that help Takasugi come to terms with himself, Takasugi's straightforwardness is later emphasized as his strong point that resonates with people. It wouldn't be a surprise then if he was the natural source of this straightforwardness in Gintoki, especially when the latter has always been defined as an empty person.
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Takasugi and Gintoki are opposites who complete each other, to the point that even outsiders who only briefly meet them together no longer cared about how one of them was a terrorist. One way of seeing it is Takasugi represents the strong, unrelenting humanity that Gintoki realized he loved and wanted to live for, and Gintoki represents the impossibly white soul that the outcast Takasugi found as a place to belong to.
It was important for them to find each other: for Gintoki to realize he wasn't empty and was always capable of emotions, and for Takasugi to realize he wasn't wrong for who he was which the world made him feel.
It's why their life-defining events most often involve the other: Takasugi's laughter was a pivotal point in Gintoki's life where he finally grasped a real reason to fight in his empty everyday, while Gintoki's tears was a pivotal point in Takasugi's life which forced Takasugi to face his biggest enemy: himself.
Ironically enough, their ways of living now could even be said to be a a reflection of their love for each other: Gintoki facing the present because he loved that part of Takasugi and wants to be in the present with him, and Takasugi facing the past to feel closer to Gintoki who is obviously incomplete without the emotions of his past.
Naturally, there is no present without the past, and it feels like Takasugi decided to live in the past to represent it for Gintoki (but probably more because he's too scared to face the present because of his self-hatred and blame, but to be fair Gintoki is afraid of facing the past too even though he should). It's why I liked that the story ended strongly with Takasugi's death, because its impact really conveyed how there was someone who was always chasing Gintoki's entirety - he definitely had a place in someone's heart. He would still be loved no matter what, even if he always felt he was a monster different from others for how he grew up and thus would never properly have a place to belong.
You can see I really, really love Takasugi... From inference and parallels alone, Takasugi has always demonstrated so much importance to the narrative, but it's never laid out beyond how he's the one who lost himself and now has to redeem himself.
Gintama feels like a story about the two of them, not just Gintoki. Especially if Takasugi was the one who originated Gintoki's straightforward way of living, and given how Takasugi seems to literally be the human sword Shouyou prophecized to cut down Utsuro in the end.
It's really because Gintoki avoids thinking about the past and Takasugi hates himself for his emotions that we have to infer how much these two affected each other... But I do enjoy things not being shoved in my face, the avoidance really makes it a lot more emotional.
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keijifairy · 4 years
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accidentally hitting your face with a volleyball 〃
♡  miya atsumu, miya osamu, sakusa kiyoomi
genre. fluff
-`,✎ ❝ hi! i saw your "accidentally hitting your face with a volleyball" hcs and i was wondering if you could do it for miya twins and sakusa too? have a nice day ♡ ❞ @wansseul
author's note. this took a hot min 😔 but thank you for waiting 💞 miya twins and omi ?? yes please 😽
+ this was a bit different than the first one but i hope u still like it !! 💗
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༘ miya atsumu
━ you've met miya atsumu before, and you like to think it was some sort of cute meet you read about, but looking back into it, bumping into him in a hallway at nationals when you only wanted to refill some water bottles was kinda embarrassing, and the sweat dripping down your temple and your hair a hot mess was definitely not cute at all.
━ so you don't think about how he handed you the water bottles with your fingers making contact as he flashes you a stupidly boyish smirk, saying something along the cliche lines of "be careful next time. wouldn't want ya falling for someone else." and his eyes lingering on you a bit longer than you could handle as if you're in some fanfiction.
━ you only bowed your head hastily, trying to hide the flush on your cheeks as you thank him for what seemed to be the millionth time and run away. because you're not going to see him again, right?
━ but then you remember! that handsome man with an awfully familiar black jersey that you made a fool of yourself in front of…is from..inarizaki..and karasuno is competing with them...aaaand he's just standing across the court...
━ you try to erase any memory of your little encounter with him not even fifteen minutes ago, as you busy yourself with your team and hopefully, he doesn't spot you. little did you know though, he didn't miss you cheering for his opponents (well, duh) on the corner of his eye. (how could he miss you? you were a bit obvious with how you sneakily catch glimpes of him, and mayhaps, that inflated his ego a bit).
━ hear him out! he was only trying to impress you, okay? but that didn't really work out as luck didn't seem to be by his (and your) side today as the ball he slams onto the other side of the net doesn't land on the court, but instead on your face.
━ there was an attempt. a for effort!!
━ "nice going, dumbass." osamu deadpans from behind him, some trying to stifle their cackle at their teammate's poor attempt while the rest wince when they hear you groaning in pain.
━ the karasuno boys immediately start rushing towards you, but when they see miya atsumu strolling towards them, they halt in their tracks. (don't be fooled, he's close to melting into a puddle in shame under all that suave exterior).
━ he holds his hand out with concern masked by the same stupidly boyish smirk that's been taking up your mind as you purse your lips and reluctantly take his hand — and you suddenly feel like passing out any minute (the ball in your face may not be the reason).
━ "this must be what fate feels like." 
━ you warily chuckle, letting go of his hand as you clutch your forehead. "if a ball getting slammed into your face is what you call fate, then i guess...yeah."
━ honestly, you're just thankful the cameras aren't rolling. there might be some people recording this ridiculous scene, but you think you're way past the humiliation.
━ "sorry about that." he silently winces as he not so subtly stares at the patch of red on your skin. "let's take ya to a nurse."
━ "it's fine," your shoulders lifted in a shrug, "and no thank you. i don't think my boys would...like that—" you look over your shoulder with a giggle and atsumu follows, only to see karasuno (not so subtly) glaring daggers at him— "and it seems like your game is starting soon anyway."
━ he only chuckles, turning his focus back to you and you feel like shrinking under his gaze. "let's see who you'll be calling your boy later then."
━ you sputter out a laugh in disbelief, as he shoots you a wave with his other hand resting on his hip. "cheer for me, yeah? i'll help ya get that treated once we're done."
━ "this is embarrassing." osamu murmurs to himself in the background with a roll of his eyes.
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༘ miya osamu
━ you were only wandering around inarizaki after your own after school club had ended while waiting for your friends, but as you pass by the open doors of the school gymnasium and hear voices that seem to be fighting, you sneakily poke your head in.
━ "why do you look like that???" 
━ "we're twins, dumb fuck."
━ you raise your eyebrow, stifling the chuckle from your throat in amusement. are they the miya twins the girls are obsessively squealing over in their daily hallway gossip? they seem...entertaining. huh, you probably should've paid more attention to your classmates.
━ too busy with their bickering, the twins and the other boys don't seem to notice a random student hanging by the doorway. you should've made your presence known, because it is the volleyball club and that means balls would be flying around the gym.
━ osamu throws a ball in atsumu's direction, but the latter quickly moves out of the way. "hey!"
━ and there comes the ball flying towards you. 
━ "who's the dumbass now?" 
━ "still you."
━ osamu ignores how his twin flips him off as soon as he turns his back on him. he quietly approaches you, reaching out his hand. "sorry, that was meant for that idiot—" he juts his chin at atsumu's direction— "over there." 
━ "it wasn't me who hit them!"
━ you blink, mindlessly clasping your hand with his as he lifts you up. warm. you think to yourself, feeling heat creep up your neck. but he lets go as you get up, and you weirdly come to miss the feeling of his hand with yours.
━ perhaps the ball might have hit your head a bit too hard but you suddenly wonder, did you always have an attractive boy like miya osamu at your school?
━ "you have really pretty eyes," you mumble, the words slipping out of your mouth before you could even process what's happening and certainly loud and clear enough for him to hear. a twinkle of amusement flashes in his eyes and you see a small quirk in his lips. "i must've hit ya harder than i thought."
━ your eyes slowly widen, finally snapping out of whatever love at first sight moment you just experienced. it dart anywhere, anywhere but that growing smirk in his lips that mimick his twin's (but atsumu looks like he's about to have a laughing fit any second).
━ "i...i mean..." stop talking "im to-totally fine! a-okay!!" a-okay???? "don't wor...worry it's uh not that bad… um i think i uh have to g-go n..now…"
━ osamu tilts his head, and you feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest because you didn't think he would be this cute !?? UM ?? those girls weren't exaggerating ???
━ "your eyes are really pretty too." 
━ he simply nods his head like he didn't just make your heart race with one simple sentence, turning his back away from you but you don't miss the small smile tugging up his lips.
━ he walks back to the court, with atsumu saying something to him that's surely about what just happened but you don't care, you think.
━ miya osamu just accidentally hit you with a ball and called your eyes pretty. 
━ you purse your lips, trying to suppress a squeal as you slowly walk away and exit the gym.
━ "that was some shitty romcom scene that i almost barfed. i was hoping for more action." atsumu's laughter boomed around the walls, and osamu shut him up with a ball in his face.
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༘ sakusa kiyoomi
━ "omi, can you teach me how to spike like you?"
━ "no."
━ you gasp dramatically, clutching your shirt where your heart is supposed to be for extra effect, but kiyoomi doesn't even spare you another glance. "tch, rude."
━ shouyou runs up to you, a ball in his hands and a smile reaching up to his eyes. "i'll teach you, y/n!" 
━ you childishly stick your tongue out towards kiyoomi, who does nothing but continue to ignore you as he fixes his stance in the court. huffing, you turn back to shouyou and mimic his smile. "heh, thanks!"
━ you are the beloved manager of the msby black jackals, and it's kinda like babysitting grown men plus not so secretly crushing on the gorgeous sakusa kiyoomi, but it's a job that you've grown accustomed to and actually enjoy. they're taking a well deserved break, but kiyoomi is still practicing his spikes while shoyou try teaching you how to do them. honestly, were you even listening to him? not really. 
━ you're only nodding wordlessly as your eyes shamelessly focus on how kiyoomi rears his hand back as the ball seems to be falling in the air, slow motion style (and that makes it cooler, you know?). you swear your eyes are sparkling as he flicks his wrist and effortlessly hits the ball.
━ you don't know when you've moved close to where he's spiking, but he only notices you still dazed just as the ball slams into your face.
━ "WAAAH, [Y/N]!!!" the impact of the ball had you dropping to the floor, and you feel your eyes immediately tear up. the boys run towards you, with koutarou placing your head on his lap as he cradles your face in his hands like you're a small child. "where does it hurt???"
━ you wince as he squishes your cheeks on his palms. "my face, duh."
━ "rule one, don't aim for the opponent's face." you look up to see kiyoomi towering over you, and you don't know if you're hallucinating but you swear, his eyes soften.
━ "oh," you jut your bottom lip, sitting properly with koutarou supporting your back, "so that was part of a lesson?"
━ "no." he heaves a sigh. "i'm sorry."
━ you bite your lip to hide the smile threatening to show as you suddenly feel weirdly giddy after getting hit by a ball. nonetheless, you wipe the tears in your eyes with the back of your palms as you bounce back to your feet (well, wobbled, but the boys supported you <3), and you really couldn't hide the smile at this point. "it's okay, omi."
━ his brows knitted in a frown. "...are you okay?"
━ "aw, you do care~"
━ he blinks. once. twice. (the boys don't really do a good job in stifling their laughter). sakusa kiyoomi does care actually, but that's not something he's just going to say right in your face, you know?
━ you playfully roll your eyes, flashing him a thumbs up. "it actually doesn't hurt like i thought it would!" even as you rub your forehead to try and soothe the pain, the smile doesn't leave your face and kiyoomi feels his heart hammering in his chest like some lovesick fool (and that, he definitely isn't!) "well, it does hurt, but i feel energized more than anything!"
━ you're pretty weird, he thinks, but it's quite endearing in a way and it's something that he adores about you. so for now, he swallows the words he's been dying to say, picking up the ball as he looks straight into your eyes. "come on, i'll show you the proper way to spike."
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kuroopaisen · 4 years
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12:54 am || kozume kenma
➵ some important introductions are finally made.
wc: 1496
warnings: gn!reader, kenma is a youtube g*mer
a/n: gracie dear, this one is for you! i remember you saying you were looking forward to it. you’re one of the loveliest people i’ve chatted to on here and you have such a kind and gentle heart. thank you for having such an accepting and calming vibe and you’re so so easy to talk to, it’s very relaxing! your blog is such a positive space you and you make me feel the big ❤️ bless your dear heart, and i hope that november is kind to you!
The sun is long gone, the sky above Tokyo draped with velvet midnight. It looks like the kind of night you’d want to go out and experience, to walk around the ever-bustling city centre, to watch the sky in the hope of seeing something that’ll make your heart stutter in your chest.
But you don’t have the energy for that this evening.
Your honours project is sucking all it can out of you. You’re not surprised, of course, but that doesn’t make the experience any less irritating. You’re at that point where you just need to push a little more and polish it off; but as always, that’s the hardest part. Trying to thread together every section into something that’s not only coherent, but also of passable quality is harder than you’d given it credit for.
It’s the time of night when your eyes feel like they’re about to dribble out of their sockets like candle wax, and you’re aware that you’re not going to get anything of substance done now. You sigh, squinting at your laptop screen.
12:54 AM.
You blink your sore eyes rapidly. Was it really that late?
You stretch your arms above your head, feeling the strain in your muscles. You want nothing more than to curl up in bed with your boyfriend, letting the stresses of the day fade away as you run your fingers through his hair. He usually lets you at this hour, melting into your touch in a way he wouldn’t usually during the day.
It’s much too late for you to get anything of worth down for this assignment.
As you stand up, you swear you can hear every bone in your body crack. You don’t just want to go to bed, you need to get some rest.
But there’s no way you’re going alone.
You totter down the hall as quietly as you can, balancing yourself on your tiptoes. Kenma’s gaming room sits at the end of the hall, chosen for its decent acoustics and spaciousness. You tease him for his set up all the time – ‘epic gamer’ is your favourite moniker, and currently crowns your LINE messages.
You and Kuroo had even made him a little sign for his birthday. It’s a plaque stuck to the door that reads, “WARNING! Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my Epic Gamer moment.”
You grin at it as the door creaks open.
Kenma’s clicking away on his computer as he sits at his desk, eyes narrowed and a little pout on his lips. You smile to yourself; he looks so cute like this, so focused and intense. He doesn’t tend to get like this about anything else, but gaming had a way of drawing the intensity out of him.
You can’t help but wonder if he was like this during his volleyball days in high school, analysing the court in the moment. You’ve never seen him play, and you doubt you ever will. He pays Hinata to do that, after all. You’re glad that such a bright boy is part of your boyfriend’s life. Between you, Kuroo, and Hinata, there’s no fear of Kenma going unloved.
You give him a small wave from the door.
Recognition flashes in his eyes as he catches sight of you, the smallest of smiles gracing his face. Someone outside of your relationship might assume that doesn’t count for much; a tiny, forgettable little gesture that isn’t worth taking note of. But you know how to read Kenma.
His gaze flicks back to his screen.
“You all want to know that bad, huh?” He teases, even though his voice is still monotone.
‘Know what?’ you mouth.
“They want to know what made me smile,” Kenma tilts his head at you, and you swear your heart is about to bloom into a kaleidoscope of light.
You nod, tottering over to him as he rolls his chair back. He’s left just enough space for you to sit. You settle yourself down on his lap like it’s second nature, and he loops his arms around your waist. Usually, that wouldn’t make you blush. But, knowing a significant portion of his viewership were watching this happen in real time brings a certain nervousness to mind.
He props his chin on your shoulder, as he always does. For once, he’s more casual than you; he’s in his element, immersed in a game and bolstered by people who adore him. It’s all you could want for him.
“Yeah, this is my partner,” he hums, small smile playing at his lips.
You see the chat rush by on the corner of his screen, but you opt not to look. Doing so would only make you more nervous.
“They want to know how long we’ve been together,” he says, conspicuously dropping the question in your lap.
You grin, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. “Officially, two years,” you smile. “But basically three.”
He chuckles lightly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “They also want to know how we met.”
“I was Kuroo’s roommate in university,” you say, well-aware of Kuroo’s much-loved presence on Kenma’s channel. “He decided I’d be a good friend for Kenma so he wrestled me into their little duo. He likes to say that us getting together was part of his plan all along, but I have my doubts.”
In all honesty, you’re surprised by how relaxed your reveal is. You’ve been worried about it for the past year, fearing the backlash that romantic partners of youtubers – especially gaming Youtubers – tend to receive.
Kenma had told you it would be okay, that you won’t have anything to worry about.
It feels nice, just sitting in his lap, getting to be part of this little world of his.
You stay for the next fifteen minutes or so, answering a myriad of questions pinged your way; was Kenma the same as he is in his videos? Does he ever sleep? Do you game with him much? Does he go easy on you in 1-v-1’s or is he ruthless?
“Thanks everyone,” Kenma yawns, propping his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve run over time, but you guys did a great job today.”
You bite back a giggle as you listen to his ‘Youtuber Outro Voice,’ which was just a shade brighter than his normal cadence.
You sit patiently as he wraps up, mentioning something about his next upload and the charity this stream was for. You know it’s got something to do with ensuring that children with disabilities are offered opportunities to take part in sports, and to help schools accommodate for that. You’re pretty sure Kuroo’s the one who linked your boyfriend up with them; you often teased him for ‘exploiting’ kodzuken’s following for charity.
Kenma clicks off the stream, letting out a long sigh as his shoulders deflate.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, nestling his face in the crook of your neck.
You giggle, reaching a hand back to smooth his hair. The angle’s a little awkward and your fingers bump against his headset, but you don’t mind.
“Did you raise a lot of money?” You ask, shifting in his lap so you can see his face.
He nods. “Not as much as the collab with Shouyou and Kuroo, but a fair bit.”
“Good,” you smile. He looks exhausted; he often does after long charity streams. But you know he cares about them – he wouldn’t bother with them otherwise. You gently slip his headset off – you bought them for him as a one-year-anniversary present, a cute, high-tech thing with cat ears – and place it gently on his desk.
You run your fingers through his hair, gently grazing his scalp. He hums in response, letting his eyes flutter shut. It’s like all the tension is melting away under your fingers, as if you’ve brought him a moment of precious reprieve. He never complains about his work – not in any real capacity, anyway – but even he got tired of his job.
As you gaze at his face, you’re content in the knowledge that you don’t need to flit amongst the city or watch the sky to see something that’ll make your heart stutter. He’s right in front of you.
“Hey, Kenma?”
“Hm?”
“I love you.”
The words flutter between you, threading a proper smile across his face. He doesn’t need to say them back to know your feelings are reciprocated; Kenma isn’t a man of many words, and his affection doesn’t tend to come out in grand statements or confessions. His love is in the little gestures; in a gentle kiss to the nose, or his fingers laced through yours, or permission to be part of his little world.
His love is shy, gentle, purposeful. You know he struggles to let people in. To let himself be seen. But he opens his windows for you, lets you filter through like the sunrise.
It’s all he’s capable of giving; but he gives it all with a quiet thoughtfulness.
And that’s more than enough.
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ahtsumu · 3 years
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under the light of the fireflies
pairing: miya atsumu x f!reader
synopsis: every summer, you fall deeper in love with a forest spirit who never ages. inspired by hotarubi no mori e.
tag(s): fluff, angst, you might cry!, wrote this while stressed and nostalgic ; wc: 1.7k
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you first meet miya atsumu when you are six and he is seventeen.
(he is actually one thousand and seventeen, but you don’t know that and you never will.)
you meet him at the edge of a clearing–– the only open space you’ve discovered in the miles of forest you’ve lost yourself in. it was right behind grandmother’s house and just beckoning for you to come take a look, so it’s not really your fault you lost your way. that’s what you told him.
the boy’s a little strange-looking. his hair is whitish-gold–– a shade you’ve never seen on any human–– and he wears a mask that makes him look like a fox. bluntly, you ask if he’s a ghost. even worse, you try to poke him to see if you’re right.
he laughs while dodging it and says no, but warns you that if you touch him he’ll disappear forever. and then he makes you grab the other end of a stick and leads you right out of the forest back to your grandmother’s house, letting out a noise of agreement every now and then as you tell him about yourself, that you’re here for the summer, that you’re currently in first grade at a school in tokyo, that you’re friends with a boy called shouyou, that you––
“wait, mister!” you call out just as his body starts to disappear back into the woods. “what’s your name?”
he pauses.
“atsumu,” he says over his shoulder. “don’t wear it out, kid.” and then he chuckles to himself–– a little sadly, since you were pretty entertaining to have around–– because he knows he won’t hear it from you ever again.
he’s proven wrong (and happily so, because he’s just a kid himself and it gets lonely in the forest) when you show up at the temple where he lives the very next afternoon.
and the next.
and the next.
and the next.
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after that, you spend every summer running through the forest with a human-looking spirit boy and a stick between your hands. 
and then you turn twelve and move to the states. the summers in the forest are pushed to the back of your mind. 
(the boy isn’t.)
loneliness takes your place beside atsumu for four summers.
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you meet again when you are sixteen and he is seventeen.
he can hardly believe it when he sees who you’ve become: a stunning young woman with a smile like the sun. it’s a welcome sight; he’s seen a few too many cloudy days.
“you’re back,” he blurts, eyes wide in surprise. quickly, he gets up from the patch of grass he’d been laying on and–– and... he thinks this is the appropriate moment humans hug. when their feelings are so strong that their bodies move for them. but miya atsumu is not human and he’ll die if he touches one. so he keeps his arms by his sides.
(they still twitch, though.)
you rest your hands on your hips and roll your eyes. “no, this is my apparition speaking to you.”
atsumu grins. that biting sense of humour you’d brought to him as a child had only grown sharper. you’re you, but better. he sits back down on the grass and pats the space beside him.
and like that, you fall back into pace. you tell him about what happened in the years you were gone, the friends you made at school, the things you learned. what america looks like.
you say you missed him.
yearning slowly washes over his amber eyes. for what, he isn’t sure.
“you’re lucky you get to leave,” he sighs, leaning back on his arms. he stares up at the patch of sky formed by the treetops. actually, you’re lucky in many other ways. atsumu’s gaze falls onto your hands.
frowning, you bring your knees up to your chest. “i’m sorry.”
“don’t worry about it.” he offers you a small smile. “guess you just gotta bring the world to me, then.”
when he walks you home that evening, you promise you’ll show him every part of the world, no matter how long it takes you.
(he hopes it takes you a long time. he hopes it takes you forever.)
atsumu is sleeping when you show up in the clearing the next day. he lies on grass with his hands folded over his stomach and the fox mask you’ve never seen him without tossed carelessly beside his head.
and he’s beautiful.
your breath hitches in your throat as you tiptoe closer, admiring his slightly upturned nose, pale pink lips, thick, curled lashes, honey tinted skin.
you want to touch him.
suddenly, one of his eyes cracks open.
“hello,” he drawls. the corner of his mouth curls up in a mischievous smile. yelping in surprise, you jump back with a hand to your chest.
“did you plan that?” you ask, eyes still wide from the shock.
he doesn’t reply but the laugh that leaves his lips is an answer enough. you look at the fox mask on the grass. a strange sort of curiosity seeps into your thoughts. it’s so much of who atsumu is. surely it contains some of his essence. the urge to hold it causes your fingers to twitch.
atsumu follows your gaze and picks up the mask. “wanna try it on?” he offers, gingerly holding it out in front of you.
it doesn’t fit on you the way it does for him. but something leaps in his chest when he sees you with it.
(his chest does it again when you hand it back and he sees the faintest trace of your lip gloss where the mouth should go.)
“so,” you say, clasping your hands together. “what’re we doing today, ‘tsumu?”
the blond tells you he found a little cave by the river down south. “it’s pretty cool,” he says, a goofy grin on his face.
when you hold up that same gnarled wooden stick from years ago with a “let’s go, then” dangling off your lips, his stomach churns. atsumu realises he doesn’t want to hold that.
he wants to hold your hand.
(your lip gloss tastes like citrus and mint.)
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you meet for the last time when you are both seventeen.
“you said you’ve never tasted a cheesecake, right?” you call out, setting down the bag you hauled from tokyo on the grass. it’s noon and there are hardly any shadows around, but you can’t find atsumu in the clearing.
he’s here, though. you can feel it.
“well, hello to ya, too.” atsumu jumps down from the branch he’d been sitting on. he’s happy to see you, not that you can tell.
“take your mask off, i thought we were past that,” you tease with a smile.
“do it for me,” atsumu lilts, clasping his hands behind his back, leaning forward so that your faces are just inches apart.
a flood of blood rushes through your veins.
breathing shallowly, you pinch the porcelain nose and lift it up off atsumu’s face, revealing a boyish grin underneath.
beautiful.
“hi,” he breathes, eyes twinkling.
you gulp.
seeing your frazzled state, atsumu laughs. he opens up the bag and pulls out the slice of cheesecake.
“thank you,” he says over his shoulder.
(he makes you feed him the first bite.
and then he feeds you the second.)
on your last day, he tells you that there’s a spirit festival happening at night.
“is that your way of inviting me?” you ask, noticing how he’s dressed in a dark blue yukata instead of his usual shirt and shorts this time.
“no.” from behind his back, atsumu pulls out a dazzling set of red robes. “this is.”
that evening you stroll through the spirit festival with a red cloth wrapped around your hands. he wins you a little necklace that you wear immediately at one of the game booths; you order takoyaki to share at the food stalls; and you end the night watching a puppet show.
atsumu walks you home as fireworks bloom in the dark sky.
“thank you for the night,” you hum, swinging your arms lightly.
“thank you for being my date,” atsumu replies.
instantly, you whip your head around. with a wide grin, you ask, “did you say date?”
atsumu stops in the middle of the dirt road and smiles softly at you. the pale moonlight makes his skin glow. amber eyes shine as bright as his hair. this moment feels different than any other you’ve had in your life. “i did.” 
“i don’t know what it is about you,” he admits, “but i want you around me all the time. i wanna hold you. and kiss you. do things like real people do.” he chuckles awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. “is that weird?”
“not at all,” you breathe, frozen in waiting.
“can i?” he asks. “kiss you?”
you nod.
atsumu pulls out the porcelain mask from his robe pocket and places it over your face.
and softly, his lips touch your cheek.
a warmth spreads from your heart all through your body.
“a lot of things keep us apart, don’t they?” he laughs, resting his forehead against your masked one. “but i feel like we’ll find a way to stay together.”
you open your mouth to agree, to confess that you’ve been in love with him since he found you in that forest, that you spent every summer away thinking about him, that you spend every moment of the school year thinking about him, that––
but in that moment, two kids run past atsumu and one trips over his sandals. instinctively, atsumu grabs him by the arm and hoists him back up, smiling when the kid says thank you and continues running like nothing had even happened.
but something had happened.
a strange look comes over atsumu’s face.
“‘tsumu…” you say, staring at his hand. it’s dissolving, breaking into bright blue shards and floating up into the sky.
atsumu lifts the hand up and inspects it slowly. somehow, it’s not much of a surprise. he’s never been the lucky type.
(meeting you was an exception.)
“that was a human kid, wasn’t it?” he sighs.
panic–– a cold, cruel hand–– seizes your heart. a black hole opens in your chest when you realise what this means. “atsumu, i––” love you.
atsumu cuts you off and says your name as his other hand starts flaking away.
“c’mere,” he whispers, grinning with tears in his eyes. “i can finally touch you.”
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remuswriting · 4 years
Text
secret relationship; h. shouyou
Summary: Hinata and male reader boyfriend keep their relationship a secret.
Love Interest: Hinata
Format: Headcanons
Notes: This is my first time writing headcanons, so they’re probably not the best. I hope they’re okay!
****
When Yachi is asked to be manager-in-training, she asks you to go with her because she was scared about everything.
You go meet the team with her and have to calm her down from seeing all of the ‘scary tall’ guys.
She once told you that you weren’t scary because you weren’t tall like all of those people (5’5) and you were too pretty to be scary.
Anyways, you were best friends with Yachi through your mothers knowing each other.
She knew you were gay and had frequent fleeting crushes (basically you’d say you were in love one day and have no interest the next).
Well Hinata became one of them. (Or so you thought)
It started because she had asked you to help her tutor Kageyama and Hinata, and you couldn’t say no to her, especially when it was scheduled during the time you two typically studied.
Hinata made you feel excited and alive.  He was so lively and intriguing that you just couldn’t help forming a crush on him.
You believed it was a fleeting crush until you found out he helped Yachi with her self-confidence, and you were a goner for him.
“Yachi, I have a problem.  It’s really bad,” you said in the middle of studying.
“What happened, Y/N?  Do we need to call the police?”
Yachi is full on the verge of freaking out, looking for her phone.
“Yeah, you may kill me.”
She stops and stares at you as if she may be able to read you somehow.
“What?”
“I may think Hinata is really pretty,” you say very quietly because you know you’re going to be killed.
Pillows are thrown at you.
“You’re not supposed to get a crush on one of the boys!”
Defensive mode happens because who said you had a crush on anyone? It was obvious though because you called every guy you’ve ever liked pretty.
“Okay, as long as it’s one of your usual crushes, Y/N.”
Sadly, it’s a real crush for once.
You’re pissed at how much you like Hinata, and it’s worse because he always compliments you for some reason.
“Y/N, you have pretty eyes!” He exclaims when he sees you during lunch.
“Y/N, your hair looks so nice today!” He exclaims at morning practice.
“Y/N, you’re getting better at understanding volleyball! It’s so cool!” He exclaims when he sees your journal of volleyball stuff.
It’s a new compliment every day and you can’t stop swooning, but you can’t hate him for it.
He’s just trying to be your friend, but of course your brain just has a thing for niceness.
Suddenly you’re confessing right before practice, you have him cornered in the club room.
You would’ve preferred it to be slightly more thought out, but you get what you get.
“I really like you, Hinata.  I understand if you don’t like me the same, sorry to bother you.”
You’re about to leave when he grabs you by the arm and looks you in the eye.
“Why wouldn’t I like you?  You’re so cool and pretty and funny and smart!”
Definitely not what you were expecting, but you’re not mad at all.
He tells you he wants to date in secret.
Goes into a ramble how he isn’t ashamed of you, but he just wants everyone to be safe because gay relationships aren’t really accepted where you live. He also doesn’t want to distract the team because they’d make a huge deal out of it.
You have to reassure him that you’re not mad at him because it’s a safety thing and he wants what’s best for the team.
You’re also used to not acting on physical things like kissing or hand holding with other people.  You’ve never really been in a relationship before though.
Neither of you act different and you realize that he has always been extremely touchy with you.
You really don’t know how you could’ve missed it.
There’s either an arm around your shoulder, him jumping to be on your back, arms brushing as you walk next to each other, etc.
You can only guess you missed these things because your feelings weren’t as strong when it was just a crush (you also weren’t AS close before)
You’re jittery when it happens now though, but you can’t do anything publicly about it.
Yachi figures it out before you can say anything
“Y/N, what do you think you’re doing!” She screams at you when you enter her home.
“Being in a gay relationship.” You deadpan.
Definitely got hit by a pillow for that one.
Hinata walks you home every night and it’s somehow actually on his way.
He takes you on dates on the weekends when you two are free.
You go to the park, lunch, museum, just anywhere to spend time together.
One day you study at your house and he rants to you about the stress he’s been facing because of Spring Interhigh Tournament because he wants to beat Oikawa and Ushijima so badly.
You comfort him with taking breaks to go outside and try to help him practice, and it does help him calm down.
He really likes you and you make him so happy
Hinata explains that he wants to be in a public relationship, but he’s still scared of how others will treat you.  He also still worries about the team
It takes you by surprise that he’s only worried about you because he says he just doesn’t care what others will think or do to him.
You’re fine with things being private for now until suddenly all you want to do is kiss him.
There hasn’t even been a first kiss, but it’s all you can think about.
Eventually, you just kiss him mid-sentence one night on the way home after making sure no one was there.
It wasn’t perfect, but he had no experience and you had ‘experience’ (kissed two girls during spin the bottle isn’t experience, but you’ll say it is)
You guys start having more affectionate when walking home, which helps the urge to just want to kiss him constantly die down a little bit
Tokyo training camp rolls around
It comes to find out that Hinata told Kenma about you two dating, which Yachi knew so it was fair for one of Hinata’s friends to know.
It would’ve been nice if you had been told Kenma knew though.
Kenma is a guy you’d definitely have a fleeting crush on if you didn’t have such a liking for Hinata, but you don’t say anything (Yachi later points it out though).
Kenma gives you looks when you’re too close to Hinata, as if you were being too obvious about dating.
If anyone was being obvious, it was Hinata with his tucking loose hairs behind your ears as he smiled at you.
Your heart was so full because of him.
Suga notices Kenma’s looks at the two of you and Hinata’s looks of admiration before anyone else does.
You’re not even sure how no one hadn’t noticed Hinata’s behavior around you, it really amazed you.
Suga pulls you aside and asks if you’re dating Hinata.
You think it’s a really stupid question and you know Suga isn’t going to discriminate against you, because he doesn’t seem the type.
“What do you think?”
Suddenly you’re having to explain everything to him and how you’ve been with Hinata for a while now (you think, you don’t actually remember the date you guys got together).
“Okay, just tell him to tone it down a bit, okay?  He’s being extremely obvious.”
“I’ll try, Suga-senpai.”
When you tell Hinata what happened, he gets extremely flustered.
“I’m sorry! Gaah, I thought I was being secretive.”
All you can do is kiss his temple because there’s not much to say.  You really don’t want to explain how obvious he is
He does back off, and maybe too much
Not too much for you, because you know if you ask for affection, he will give you some
The team notices how he isn’t as close to you anymore and Tanaka is demanding for you two to stop fighting
(You never realized the team paid that much attention)
You come up with a lie that you don’t want some sweaty guy rubbing up all over you.
Your worst lie yet
Everyone except for Suga (and maybe Daichi) believe it and you literally have no idea how
Kenma asks how you managed to get Hinata to stop being as affectionate, and you just say that one of the other teammates found out and that’s enough motivation you guess
Hinata gets back in being touchy with you after the training camp is over
He may be slightly even more touchy as if he has to make up for time he lost.
The tournament in November is exciting for both you and Yachi, but mainly nerve-wracking for Yachi.
You end up being the one who has to calm everyone down from their freak out, even if it’s not the best.
“This is a new tournament everyone.  You guys have improved, so just fix the mistakes you made last time.” You say as everyone is freaking out during warm-ups.
“What if I can’t?!” Yamaguchi asks and you wonder if he’s about to cry but go for the aggressive route either way.
“Well, you’re going to.  Get your shit together.”
You’re cheering for Hinata from where you’re seated with Yachi.  You’re probably cheering the loudest.
Yachi is trying to get you to stop screaming as much and being aggressive towards the other team.  It’s apparently not acceptable to say they suck extremely loud.
You’re with Kiyoko when Terushima is harassing her for her number, and you’re trying to get him to leave her alone.
“She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you, asshole.”
“This doesn’t involve you, brat.”
You are about to fight him when Hinata comes to save the day with his outrageously high jump.  Kiyoko also pulls you away from the captain, worried you’re going to start a fight when he walks by.
You’re the first one to tease him on his lunch cloth and Kiyoko teases him in front of the team.
They beat Aobajohsai and you have never been this happy in your entire life. Your team did that!! Your boyfriend scored the winning point!!  Yachi is trying to get you to calm down because you’re vibrating.
“Come on, Y/N, you need to calm down.  You’re going to do something stupid.”
She’s right, you’re going to do something stupid.
You see the team and immediately start running (Yachi is screaming for you to calm down)
“Y/N!” Hinata exclaims and he’s about to go on when you tackle him before kissing him.
You realize what you’ve done when everyone is silent and just whisper “Oh shit, sorry.”
Most of the team is actually surprised?? You’re not sure as to how because Hinata could barely keep it a secret.
Tanaka and Noya are upset that two of their kouhai are in relationships when they’re not.
“How dare you get a boyfriend before us!” Tanaka yells and Noya is nodding.
“We only both have boyfriends because we are each dating each other,” you say slowly, because you’re not sure they understand any of this.
Daichi and Suga tell everyone to talk about it when they get back to the school because everyone is tired.
Hinata and you finally get to sit next to each other on the bus without it seeming weird when he passes out on your shoulder early into the drive back.
Next day, you are probably the loudest person cheering in the entire gymnasium (besides Suga when he screams at the team) as you scream how that’s your boyfriend
“Number 10 is my boyfriend and he’s crazy!  Did you see that spike!”
Yachi is trying to get you to quiet down, but Hinata keeps smiling at you and Saeko is encouraging you being loud
Everyone at Karasuno knows you two are dating at this point (hard for them not to) and you’re bragging about Hinata now because you finally can
No one was ready but at least you and Hinata are happy though.
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“No no, I’m not interested in your friends. I want you. Give yourself over, and they’ll be safe.” annnnd... have you written Osamu x Yama at all yet? UshiYama, if you aren't feeling OsaYama. Omegaverse, if you like?
ahhhh I got an osayama prompt before I watched season 4 and then my drafts glitched and deleted before I could actually write it ;-; 
Mafia prompts
One of the perks of having an onigiri shop as a front for your brother’s gang is the fact that no one knows it’s a front- which means, occasionally, when a member of a rival gang comes in, Osamu gets free intel. No one suspects the poor overworked cook/waiter to be listening in on your business. 
It’s not honest work, but it sure is fun. And this way, Osamu doesn’t have to directly get his hands dirty. His brothers’ men do all the hard stuff. Which gives Osamu the time to flirt with the pretty omegas that come through and not have to worry about telling them what his job is- his job is here, at his shop. Being a good cook is always a hit with omegas. However, as of late a certain omega has been coming in that fulfils more than just his instinctual needs. 
The bell at the door rings, but Osamu already knows without looking who’s there- the sweet, enticing scent of candied fruit and raw pastry dough reaches Osamu’s nose before he even turns around. 
“Welcome back, Yamaguchi-kun. The usual?” 
“Ah, not the boys’ order today, actually. Just me.” Yamaguchi says with a shy smile, sliding into one of the hightops nearest the window peering into the kitchen. He smooths down his skirt as he sits, fidgeting with his phone as Osamu turns back to the kitchen, smiling at him through the window. 
“The boys already eat tonight?” 
‘The boys,’ being Yamaguchi’s ‘roommates,’ usually ordered from Onigiri Miya every now and again, and Yamaguchi always came to grab it. They’d been doing this for nearly 8 months, and in that time it’s become glaringly obvious that Yamaguchi was in some way involved with one of ‘Tsumu’s rivals, the Karasuno Crows. How involved was still somewhat a mystery, because sometimes he came in covered in bruises and cuts and other times just fine, almost always well-dressed and never once acting secretive; in fact, Yamaguchi is always quite open with Osamu and talks with him like an old friend every time he comes to visit. He tells Osamu about his ‘boys,’ Kei, Tobio, and Shouyou, and asks about the shop. Talks about work and the weather, and nosy neighborhood aunties who always want to know how he got such a dark bruise, and “thank you so much for not asking, Osamu-san, I just don’t know if I’ll ever be okay talking about it so openly.” 
“Yes, that, and I’m also going straight back to work after I eat. It’s a...rush season, for my job, and we’re pretty understaffed at the moment so I’ve been there all day working.” 
“My my, all day? It’s almost 9:00 Yamaguchi-kun. When will ya be goin’ home for the night?” 
“Ah, probably around midnight or so...The poor guys, they’ve been in the same boat as me- I haven’t seen them in what feels like ages,” Yamaguchi says, pouting, and Osamu chuckles as he rounds the corner with Yamaguchi’s usual order. He sets it on the table before sliding into the chair across from Yamaguchi; he leans against his palms, smiling when Yamaguchi cocks his head to the side, confused. “You don’t have anything to do around the shop? You close soon, don’t you?” 
“I mean, I suppose I do, but I can spare a few minutes t’ chat with my favorite customer while he eats,” Osamu teases ever-so-slightly, and he grins wider when Yamaguchi’s cheeks turn pink. It’s true that it’s a bit odd, him doing this, since he’s almost always kept their conversation distanced between a counter or the kitchen window, but he’s feeling a bit adventurous tonight. And Something tells him this is a good idea. Maybe it’s the faint scent of pre-heat on an already stressed Yamaguchi, or maybe it’s just the fact that he looks almost delectable in that short little skirt, but Osamu wants to be close to him. “Is that all that bad?” 
“N- Not at all, I just didn’t want to keep you,” Yamaguchi says gently. “How was it, today?” 
“Ah. not too busy but it's a Sunday, so not a lot of people are goin’ out.” 
“Must be pretty boring sitting here all day every day, huh?” 
“No, not really,” Osamu hums, watching as Yamaguchi begins to dig in, looking very much like a starving prisoner with how quickly he devours the first onigiri. “I suppose some days get repetitive, but there’s never a dull day here.” 
And that’s the truth. The shop doesn’t get a lot of traffic, so Atsumu or one of his men are usually hanging around- or stumbling in the kitchen, mortally wounded and needing a desperate healing from a barely-first aid certified Osamu. 
“Sorry, still sounds pretty boring to me- if I’m not moving all the time, I get pretty antsy.” Yamaguchi says, still stuffing his mouth. Osamu laughs. 
“I can tell. Ya’d probably be bored if ya were a housewife or somethin’,” 
“Oh, definitely.” Yamaguchi says. He finishes his meal, hopping down from the hightop with a little puff of his skirt. He slaps money on the table, collecting his things. “Thank you for the meal, Osamu-san, but I need to get back to work. I’ll see you around.” 
And, call him stupid, but something tells Osamu not to let him go alone. “W- Wait! Why won’t I walk ya back to yer office?” 
Yamaguchi seems to hesitate, his brows furrowing as he searches Osamu’s face. 
“...Don’t you have to be at the shop?” 
“It’s almost close, and one of the waiters is still here- I’d hate to let an omega walk alone so late, even if I know he c’n talk himself.” Osamu insists, throwing one of his signature smirks Yamaguchi’s way, and he can see the omega’s resolve melting. Yamaguchi sighs. 
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. It’s not far from here, actually,” Yamaguchi says, turning towards the door. Osamu scrambles to follow, throwing his apron over the back counter and shouting to the back that he’s taking a smoke break, despite the fact that he hasn’t smoked a day in his life and Aran wouldn’t care either way where he went- 
Osamu makes conversation with Yamaguchi as they walk, the dim streetlights illuminating Yamaguchi’s curves, and in the near darkness his scent sticks out above all else, distracting Osamu ever the slightest. He doesn’t even notice they’re in the middle of Karasuno territory, even though he should’ve figured they would be, since Yamaguchi works for Karasuno. It isn’t until he’s yawning, stretching his arm over his head, that he realizes he’s maybe made a bad decision- 
“Osamu-san, is that a tattoo? I wanna see,” Yamaguchi says, and suddenly there’s a hand on his arm, holding it in place as another hand lifts the sleeve of his teeshirt to get a better look at the logo printed on Osamu’s shoulder. Osamu freezes, his eyes widening, and the only thought in his mind is, “Oh god, Tsumu’s gonna kill me.” 
“I- uh- it is, but it’s-” 
“...Your shop, it’s a front, isn’t it, Osamu-san?” Yamaguchi asks, his voice low, and his grip tightens impossibly on Osamu’s forearm. Osamu tries to wrench his arm away, to grab Yamaguchi by the hair and drag him off before he can make a fuss, but it’s useless. Yamaguchi is deceptively strong for an omega. “Answer me, Osamu-san. Your shop, it’s a front, yeah? You have gang members hang around, and launder money from your shop?” 
“I- I don’t know what yer talking about, Yamaguchi-kun.” 
“Right, right...” Yamaguchi murmurs, reaching behind him, and Osamu’s heart hammers in his chest when he sees Yamaguchi pull out a pistol. “Y’know, Samu, I don’t like liars. I thought we had a little thing going...” 
“W- We did?” 
“Of course. We’ve been flirting ever since I first came in, didn’t you get the hints?.,Hmph, no matter now. You’re not telling me the truth, and that hurts my feelings, Samu. I’m sure my boys would tell you how much I hate being lied to, though I don’t think now you’ll get to meet them.” 
The tip of the gun slides up Osamu’s chest, up his neck, and Osamu shivers. There’s a reason he works in the shop and doesn’t do any of the dirty work- and this is the exact reason he doesn’t. Fear makes people do some crazy things, and Osamu’s pretty damn scared right now. 
Even still, he won’t sell out his brother. “I’m not gonna tell ya shit about what does or doesn’t happen at my shop. What I do is perfectly legal.” 
“But what your brother, Miya Atsumu, does isn’t. Isn’t that right?” 
Osamu gulps, shuddering when he feels the cool metal of the pistol press against his adam’s apple. “I don’t know what yer talkin’ about. Leave him out of this, leave- leave everyone out of this-” 
“No no, I’m not interested in your friends,” Yamaguchi says, laughing, and Osamu’s mouth falls shut with an audible click. Yamaguchi leans forward, catching Osamu’s chin in his free hand, the other still holding the gun to the junction of his chin and neck. “I want you. Give yourself over, and they’ll be safe.”
Osamu swallows again, his breath thick and shuddering. He can’t believe this is happening. He’s being overpowered and threatened by an omega. What the hell. But he thinks back to Atsumu, and the empire he’s building, and he can’t let that be ruined, can’t let their cover be blown, and so he nods. 
“...Fine. You have me. But I can’t stay forever, I have a shop to run.” 
Yamaguchi grins. “We’ll work something out.” 
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starglossie · 3 years
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HINAYACHI NATION WE RISE!!! [ read here: we make a sunset, you and i ]
Summary: Yachi loves highlighters. They're perfect for when she's taking notes. But her one orange highlighter just doesn't sit right. It's not the right shade of orange. And she can't really place what shade she's looking for until she spots Hinata. And when she does, she thinks:Yes, that's it. That's the perfect shade.
CAN ALSO BE READ DOWN BELOW!
Yachi loved highlighters. 
Especially the pastel kind! They were the right shade of pink and blue and purple and yellow. A soft brightness that sat well on her paper when she dragged the felt tip across a certain word to make it pop. 
She’d always been into color coding her notes. Colors were a great way to organize things. Blue for definitions. Greens for important takeaways. Pinks for material that will definitely be tested on an exam. Colors made sense. 
Every so often she’d start vibing with a certain color. Some days her reading notes were more baby pink than sky blue. Or dewy green compared to lilac purple. Now, she found herself leaning towards her orange highlighter more. Though she quickly discovered, as she highlighted her notes in class and frowned deeply when the shade of orange wasn’t dark enough, that the shade simply wasn’t… right.
“Yachi!” 
Yachi looked up from her notes. Hinata sat in the chair in front of her desk, resting his elbows on her desk. The sun was streaming boldly through the window, illuminating Hinata’s face and making his hair extra prominent in Yachi’s eyes. A fiery mass of orange. So bright you could never miss it. 
That’s the right shade , she thought. Looking down at her orange highlighter that paled in comparison. If she could find a highlighter like Hinata’s hair. She’d be golden. Or, ha, orange . She laughed at her own little joke. Hinata scrunched his face in return. 
“Whatcha laughing at?”
“Oh! Nothing,” she kicked her feet under her desk. A soft, rosey red bloomed on her cheeks. She could never share that joke. She’d combust from the embarrassment alone. “Is everything alright, Hinata?”
“No! We have a test coming up!” Yachi couldn’t but smile despite Hinata’s clear distress. Tests were not Hinata’s strong suit in the slightest. Though he was incredibly determined with his studying-or he tried to be, Yachi would give him kudos where kudos were due.  
“Ah right...” she opened up her planner. It had bright sunflowers on the front and her name engraved in white. She flipped to March’s calendar where, two weeks from now, she had circled in bright pink EXAM TODAY! “I was going to text you about when you’d like to meet and study! I already started compiling a notebook for you…” 
“Really?” Hinata’s eyes widened. They were so bright, Yachi thought they could have been covered with stars. “ Yachi, you’re incredible!” 
Heat rose under her cheeks. She wanted to say this was nothing special. That the word incredible shouldn’t be used for something that, to her, was the natural course of things. Of course she’d make a notebook for him. She’d been doing that for years. And she enjoyed the little rush she got when she placed the tabs just right and when she created the perfect outline that aligned with the way Hinata best broke down information. 
But for Hinata to think she’s incredible, all the same, a pleasant heat pooled under her skin that mirrored the baking warmth you get sitting under the sun at the beach for a few hours. 
“Oh it’s nothing, really,” she said, popping the cap of her highlighter up than clicking it down. “We can review during lunchtime? Or maybe after practice if you’re not too tired?” 
They were third years now. And every time Yachi thought about how two years had passed since she joined the volleyball club, awe and a little bit of sadness washed over her. She never pictured her high school life surrounding the sport and now, she couldn’t imagine what her high school life would have been like if she hadn’t joined. 
She would open her journals sometimes. The ones she kept to write down how her day went, to give gratitude, to scribble down little prayers when they popped into her mind-for good health, for a meteor to not crash into her roof, for her mother’s happiness, to maybe fall in love-and read back over what she wrote. She’d grown so much and to just see that progress was sometimes unbelievable. But in such a good way. Like watching a plant go from a bud to full bloom. 
She felt like she had bloomed, or well-was in the process of blooming. And she had to thank volleyball for that. For bringing her to the people that helped her grow. 
“Hmmm,” Hinata hummed. He rubbed at his nose in thought. “Let’s do it after practice! ‘Cause I can’t eat and study at the same time. I’ll be way too focused on eating. Not so much on studying, haha.” 
Hinata and Yachi had grown close over the years. They’d been in the same class all three years, while Kageyama got placed in class with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima (much to Tsukishima’s unbridled annoyance and Yamaguchi’s unashamed delight). Hinata’s response made Yachi smile. She expected that to be the answer. And opened her planner so she could write down Studying with Hinata!! In her favorite blue gel pen. 
“Yachi you have so many pens and pencils and highlighters. Aren’t you overwhelmed?”
She slid her gel pen back into her pencil pouch purely for gel pens. “Oh! No not at all. I like having so many colors. I find it’s fun to pick and choose which one I want to use for notes.”
“Oh yeah! They’re kind of like, a mood ring, but not really. More like, mood… coloring? Something like that!” he finished with a laugh. And if it were anyone else in the world, Yachi might have felt like they said that just to humor her. But Hinata never said something he didn’t mean. He always spoke purely, from his heart. And that always made Yachi feel comfortable being her whole self. Illuminated in the glow that was Hinata Shouyou. 
I wish I could find an orange highlighter that’s the shade of his hair, she thought. “Mood coloring! Hm yeah, that makes sense! Because sometimes I really want to use a pink highlighter because I’m feeling that particular shade!” she pulled out a soft, rosey pink highlighter. The color of cotton candy and then slipped it back into the pouch. “Or sometimes I’m in a minty green kind of mood!” she pulled out another highlighter for reference. 
Hinata looked at her as if she was pulling out magical wands that sparkled and created starlights at their tips. “These are the coolest colors!” he reached for her hand, their fingers brushed. And as if she were shocked, she gasped. Dropping her highlighter to the table. It clattered softly onto her open notebook. “Ah, I’m sorry Yachi.” Hinata frowned, looking apologetic. 
“N-No!” she was quick to correct. He had to know that he wasn’t at fault. That the electricity generated that shocked her fingers and made her pulse quicken was a newly crafted design that had, like her blooming, steadily grown over the years to this moment. “It was just a little static shock as all! It happens, haha.” she reached for her highlighter. Her cheeks burned. 
In her journals, she had started writing out a name. And sometimes, that name had a few hearts beside it. 
She was terribly infatuated, she realized every time she stared down at the suddenly not so blank page covered in that name with so many hearts . 
Hinata fixed her with that same look he got when he was picking someone apart and wasn’t ashamed for you to realize he was doing so. It only lasted a second. Then, he was smiling again. A slow smile, and he leaned forward, his voice softer. 
“Can you show me where you get those highlighters? Maybe after school before we start studying?” 
Oh goodness is this a date? Her mind conjured with a swiftness. No! Hitoka! Do not jump to such conclusions! He’s your friend-one of your best friends. It’s just a friendly thing. And sure it’s happening on a date of the week but that doesn’t mean- 
“Yes!” she tapped her feet on the ground with excitement, nodding fervently. “Yes that’s perfect!”
“Great! Sounds good then!” 
Hinata jumped up just as his name was called. Kageyama was at the door. Hinata pointed a finger at him. “Kageyama! You came early! I’m ready to kick your ass if you’re ready to get your ass kicked!” 
“Stupid, I’m gonna win. Hi Yachi,” Kageyama waved at Yachi. Yachi beamed, waving in return. ”I’ve been stretching all morning during class. My long jump is going to beat yours hands. No. Legs down.”
Another thing Yachi had gained over the years was the ability to understand the secret language that was Hinata and Kageyama’s dynamic. Honestly, once you understood that they made a competition out of everything, filling in the gaps came easily after that. 
“What’s the competition this time?” Yachi chuckled, putting her planner back into her bag. 
“Kageyama and I are gonna see who has the best long jump!” Hinata explained. “I won last time but Kageyama’s a sore loser so we gotta do it again.” 
“I’m not! My legs weren’t at maximum stretch, that’s all.”
“What are you, Luffy? Are you going to try and find One Piece next?” Hinata asked, running through the classroom to get to Kageyama. Waving by to the students who called out to him as he did. 
The last thing Yachi heard as they left the classroom was Kageyma ask, “The fuck is a One Piece?” 
  /
  After practice, Yachi had a routine.
First, she gathered up all the balls with the help of her volleyball players and put them all away. Then, she took down the nets and rolled them up to be carried into the practice shed. She liked to imagine they were giant pieces of dough she was rolling up for cannolis. Afterwards she liked to clean the gym floors. She didn’t have to, but she wanted to. It was a nice feeling. Getting the giant mop and pushing it through the gym, up and down. She would pretend that she was in Mario Kart and her car was a giant, turbine-powered mop that could zoom lightning fast down the track! 
After she finished mopping, she would go through every single volleyball and squeeze it exactly six times (one for every letter of her name) to check the air pressure. If a volleyball was flat, she’d pump it up until it was all full and no flat. Sometimes, when she thought no one was looking (and she always checked her surroundings three times) she’d try to hit a few balls over the net. Over the years, she’d gotten better! And could not do a solid overhand serve with little to no effort. Her hand always tingled after the ball connected with her palm. But she rather liked the feeling. And she always clutched her palm tightly as if she were holding a fallen star in her hand. To make the sting hold on a little longer. To keep the moment from fading away… 
She threw another volleyball up in the air. Just to feel the tingle again. 
“YACHI, YOU’RE STILL HERE!”  
The ball dropped onto her head, sending a brief bout of pain down her neck and spine. “GAH!” the ball bounced onto the floor two… six… eight times before it rolled all the way to Hinata’s feet. “Ow! Ow! Ah… H-Hinata?” she felt heat swarm her neck and dominated her cheeks. Aw man.. She had hoped no one would have been around! 
Hinata leaned down and picked up the ball. Holding it out with one palm, grinning to himself. He walked over to Yachi and held the ball with two hands. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya! Were you practicing your serve? I can receive some if you want!”
“No! No no I was just… playing around, haha.” Hinata’s receives were really something to witness though. They were beautiful in their own way. How he moved with a sharpened, feral precision to meet the ball wherever it was aimed time and time again without fail. Yachi could never tear her eyes away from Hinata once he stepped on the court. 
He was her favorite player to watch. 
“Ah, another time then. Are you almost done here?”
“Almost! We’re still going to the store, right?” 
“Yeah! To get those highlighters you use! I wanna get like, thirty .” Hinata dropped the volleyball and started dribbling it with his knees. “Um wait. I should check my allowance first. But thirty would be nice.”
“We can do ten to start,” Yachi offered with a smile, watching Hinata play with the ball like it’s a part of him - a piece of his energy. “I already have a pack of mind.” 
She hoped she could find an orange highlighter while they were out too. One that was as bright as Hinata’s hair in the late afternoon sunlight that crept into the gym through the windows. Hinata smiled at her wide and the wind got knocked out of her. Her heart clenched fiercely and when Hinata put the ball away in the ball crate beside Yachi, she inhaled sharply. 
“Yachi, has anyone told you how you’re so... ?” Hinata’s not looking at her. His hands were deep in the ball crate as he put away the remaining volleyballs Yachi hadn’t finished storing yet. “What’s the word? Not just kind-which you are. But you’re so… oh!” he turned his head and it was like daybreak bloomed in that very moment. “Thoughtful. Like, the most thoughtful person I know cause you’re always considering and thinking about others-even for the smallest of things.”
The blood in Yachi roared. Her heart squeezed something terrible. Hinata was going on about how Yachi had so many thoughts about other people he wondered how anyone could ever feel lonely or forgotten when Yachi was there. To consider them and acknowledge them and give them space. He went on about how her brain must be so big because it carried so many thoughts and how her heart must be so large because it cared for people without hesitation. 
“It’s why you’re such a good manager!” Hinata said with a sense of finality to his words. “All these years you’ve been taking care of us and I speak for everyone-even Kageyama but he’s shy so he’ll never admit this-when I say you’re irreplaceable. One of a kin-are you crying?”
Yachi was, in fact, crying. Hot pools of tears that were flowing down her face without stopping. “Ah! I’m crying!” She gasped. No no no. Why was she crying? No, no her tears weren’t hormones going wild. Or from her usual bout of a fifteen minute stress cry followed by a forty five minute power walk that concluded with a ten minute ice cream break after. 
No, her tears were from the praises of sunlight Hinata had basked her in. 
She wiped at her face furiously, sniffling as she did. Hinata was fussing. Waving his arms around wildly. His face was as red and maybe as scorched as hers felt. 
“I’m sorry!!! I didn’t mean to compliment you to tears!”
“No it’s okay!!! I didn’t mean to cry from your compliments!!! They were very nice!”
“Do you need a tissue? I have a pack of two with cats on them that I use for Natsu sometimes!”
“Yes I’d like one of your packs of tissues you use for Natsu sometimes I also like cats!”
“Ok!” Hinata pulled out a pack of tissues, the ones with the cats on them, and handed them to Yachi.
She took the pack and a tissue to wipe at her eyes and blow her nose. She put the pack in one pocket and then the used tissue in the other-that she’d throw out later, of course. A beat of silence passed between them. Yachi glanced up shyly at Hinata. Hinata glanced down shyly at her. 
They both bursted out in laughter. 
“Let’s go to the store!” Hinata said. 
Yachi nodded, “To the store!” 
  /
“So you use post-it notes to take notes…”
“Sometimes! Or I’ll use it for book marks or to tab important sections to go back for review.”
“Huh,” Hinata said, holding up two packs of post-it notes. One had a stack of green, orange, and yellow. Another had a stack of blue, pink and purple. “I’ve always used them to make little paper frogs.” 
Yachi snorted. “Well that’s definitely a good use for it…” they had spent about an hour or so at the stationary store. 
Their game plan was to buy the highlighters so they could use it for their study session. But then Hinata got distracted looking at all the notebooks with designs on the cover. 
“A purple tiger! Wait, that’s Mahou Ranger Blue! WAIT A MINUTE IS THAT A COW?” 
And Yachi, of course, followed along. She pointed out some of her own favorites from the stack. A sunflower cover. A panda cover. And one special notebook that you could design the front yourself that came with a small pack of markers attached. 
Hinata then discovered the wonderful world of stickers and now, in the little basket Yachi had the sound mind to grab once Hinata started pulling object after object from the shelves, was filled with seven sticker packs, two notebooks, and three rolls of washi tape. 
“This place is so cool…” Hinata was awestruck as he dropped the post-it note packs with orange and yellow into the basket. “Do you come here often?”
“Sometimes,” Yachi tapped her fingers on the top of her knees. “When I need to restock. Or when I need to self-care and indulge. Or uh, when I’m bored.”
Hinata nodded several times, “I don’t even know where I’m going to put all those stickers… maybe on Kageyama and have him freak out about where they came from.”
“That would be very chaotic.”
“Hehe, right! Oh yeah, the highlighters. We didn’t get the highlighters!”
“They’re over there,” Yachi pointed at the aisle with a sign saying HIGHLIGHTERS written in bright colors. “There’s a whole section for them.”
“A WHOLE section,” he sounded like a kid in a candy store who was given permission to go wild. “Let’s go!” 
They went through every section of the highlighter aisle. Hinata was enamored by all the colors. “There’s ten shades of purple how is that even possible !” and “Wait this is literally the color of the sky I love this shade of blue!” and “Oh my God why would they make a highlighter that’s turd colored aren’t they ashamed? Don’t their parents love them?”
Yachi laughed so hard her sides hurt. Hinata was enjoyment incarnate. Being with him was fun, always. She never got bored or tired or felt like she had to work hard to fill in a space of silence when she was with Hinata. He made it feel like gaps were easier to fill. Like moments were more memorable. Like conversations just held more weight when Hinata Shouyou was on the other end of the line. 
She kept glancing at Hinata’s hair as he tested every single highlighter he could on the test paper. The bright mound of orange that looked like untamed fire. She wondered how soft it was. If he used any special type of shampoo. If he could tie it into a pony tail now because it had grown much, much longer since they were first years. She wondered if he would let her put it into a ponytail. She wondered if the gaps between her fingers would be wide enough for his hair to slide through as she curled her hands into his hair while they-
“Yachi look!” Hinata was holding up a yellow highlighter. He put it close enough to her face and stuck out his tongue in thought. Eyes narrowed in concentration and zeroed in right on her. Making Yachi stand a little straighter. “Oh yeah… this is the perfect shade.”
“The perfect shade for what?” 
“It matches your hair! This yellow, I mean.” Hinata explained. He took one of the test papers that was blank and ripped it out of the notebook. With a flick of his thumb, he uncapped the marker and drew a thick, bold line of yellow onto the page. “See? It’s just like your hair. Don’t ya think?”
Yachi’s fingers found themselves to the end of her ponytails. Pulling slightly so she could get a better look. She did a double take. Her heart skipped double beats. “Oh… it does. It does!” 
“Hehehe, I’m gonna get it.” he dropped the highlighter in the basket. The only highlighter out of all the ones he tested out. “Ok. Did you find a color yet?”
“You’re only getting… this one?” Yachi’s not sure how to take that. But then, it’s Hinata. He’s simply complicated sometimes. 
“Mhm. That’s the one. I like it the best.” and her mind filled in the blanks that weren’t there. Put in the puzzle pieces to fit so the conclusion was he liked that highlighter the best because it reminded him of her (hair color, her mind provided. Not you specifically. Does the distinction even matter! ). 
“Ah for me… I…” slowly, she kept walking down the aisle. Hinata trailing behind her. Head turning on either side, searching and gazing until-”Oh! That one!” she pointed at an orange highlighter at the top of the shelf. She stood on her tiptoes but her fingers were a few inches short. 
“Here,” Hinata was behind her. His chest to her back. His heat a warm blanket that drowned her in the fantasy of the shelves replaced by a kitchen counter and a cabinet. Their own little apartment instead of the stationary shop. Intimacy and familiarity humming between the small distance between their bodies. And Yachi would turn. Turn around and look up at Hinata and see the curve of his chin. See the slope of his collarbone that would slip into the crook of his shirt collar. And when Hinata would tilt down, and their eyes would meet, and Yachi would swoon because being so close she can drown in his scent. And she’d reach up onto her tip toes to-
“The highlighter,” Hinata’s heat was gone. The highlighter was now in her face while Hinata grinned. “My super reach was able to grab it no problems! Here ya go.”
An orange the color of Hinata’s hair. Where she could use it whenever she felt a yearning in her chest and could reach into her pencil pouch. Pull out the highlighter. And find words in one of her novels that made her heart twinge the same tune and level of longing she felt whenever she overheard Hinata’s laugh or had his smile directed at her. Her Hinata orange. 
She reached out to grab the pencil. Their fingers brushed briefly. A warm spark that went right to her toes. 
“Thank you,” she said, curling her fingers around the highlighter in a silent prayer before dropping it into the basket. “I’ve been looking for a shade like that for a long time. The right kind of orange!” her throat feels dry. Her chest is throbbing something horrible. 
“Oh? Why’s that?”
She thought about the yellow highlighter laying underneath the orange one in her basket. How Hinata said this is perfect - because it’s like your hair. She swallowed past the nerves in her throat. 
“It reminds me of… you. Your hair,” she quickly tacked on. 
Hinata doesn’t move. And that put her on alarm because Hinata was always moving. His stillness was a sign of the unexpected coming. 
And when it came, it stole the last remnants of her heart that was untouched by this feeling, taking control of her body and conquering it in the name of Hinata Shouyou.
His smile was bold and brilliant and bright. Wide as a watermelon. As dazzling as star bright. His face was red. Red to his cheeks and his chin and the tip of his nose-all red and covered in a blush. He laughed, and it was a little off kilter. A little high pitched in the middle but leveled off at the ends. 
“Yeah?” he rubbed at the bottom of his nose. “Heh...hehe…”
“Hehe...hehehe…”
“Hehehehehehe.”
“Heheheehehhee.”
  / 
  Yachi set down a tray of juice and some snacks on the table made after Hinata had pushed aside their revision materials to make space. She laughed, finding Hinata with his cheek smushed against the table. His eyebrows knitted so deeply together they’d probably become a blanket. 
“Hi. Are you tired?” she asked, kneeling on her pillow. 
“When I close my eyes all I see are multiplication signs and equal signs… it’s horrible!”
“Have you tried opening your eyes?”
“It’s no difference cause it’s right on the page!” 
They’d been studying for a good chunk of the evening. Nearly everyday after school they’d come back to Yachi’s place to study. Their exam was at the end of the month. And they had about another week or so to prepare. Yachi, thankfully, had notebooks organized and compiled by subject and tabbed accordingly by the topic of said subject ready to go for revision. Hinata had to play catch up. But Yachi had seen this coming. So she made brief, outlined notes for Hinata that he could use as a foundation to fill in the gaps. 
“Yachi…” Hinata had sniffled, clutching the review materials to his chest. “Yachi I’d die for you.”
“Please don’t!” Yachi waved her hands in front of her face frantically. “My 27th fear is being the cause of someone’s death!” 
The sun sat heavy and rested in the middle of the sky. After doing four rounds of twenty-five minutes on, they now could spend thirty minutes on a break. Something Hinata was incredibly happy about reaching. 
Yachi wiggled her toes in her socks, staring down at the crown of Hinata’s hair. I want to touch it. 
“Is it making sense?” she asked instead. 
“Mmmmm, slowly.” Hinata yawned. “I dunno if I have another twenty-five minutes in me though.”
“We did study a lot,” wiggle wiggle. “We could call it a day after we review that one problem you were struggling with?” she glanced towards her window. “So you can go home before it gets dark.” 
“Ughhhhhh,” Hinata pushed himself up to a sitting position. Raising his arms high above his head. Yachi caught a bit of his stomach peaking out from under his shirt and immediately shot her gaze back to their work. “Ok. That sounds good. Teach away, Yachi!”
So she did. She broke down the problem into walkable steps. And demonstrated the method for doing so. Hinata watched with the same intensity he had when he was watching someone pull off a move before he replicated it with near perfection shortly afterwards. He followed her pen strokes. Her pointing. And when she capped her orange highlighter to make an emphasis on one of the steps, he grinned. 
“Oh hey. Nice highlighter,” he reached behind him and pulled out from his back pocket his yellow highlighter. He tapped his highlighter against Yachi’s. “They look kinda cool together, don’t ya think? Like they compliment each other.”
We do, don’t we ? 
“Yeah,” Yachi replied dreamily. She snapped herself back into focus, though, before her thoughts went ahead of her. “Do you want to try the problem? If you get stuck on a step you can use your highlighter to mark it.”
“Good idea!” Hinata went to work. Face molded in concentration. His shoulders hunched. The hum of Yachi’s fan played in the background to the sound of Hinata scratching his notes down. She reached out for her drink. Hoping the sweetness of the lemonade would cool her thoughts. Of how often they were alone together. How her friends were always asking Hinata-san’s going home with you again, huh? And how many times she’d laugh it off and dimississ it saying We’re just studying! We’re just friends . 
Even when her heart would roar loudly in defiance: You want more. You’ve always wanted more. 
But how could she? 
They were graduating soon. Hinata was definitely heading into a world where their paths wouldn’t collide. Where they wouldn’t sit in adjacent rows. Where their friends weren’t down the hallways. Where they couldn’t grab lunch together and sneak out onto the roof. Hinata would surely go pro. There was no other option. And Yachi was going to college. This moment, in her room, where it’s her and Hinata and the fan buzzing and the drink in her hand with the ice slowly melting and the sun slinking lower and lower into the sky, this moment wasn’t forever. It was a finite piece of a giant vacuum that would swallow her whole at the idea that her days with Hinata were numbered. 
Numbered and disappearing at an alarming rate. 
“Am I right?”
Hinata’s question pulled Yachi from her thoughts. She blinked back the stinging in her eyes to glance down at his work. He had gotten it right. And her heart leapt with joy and pride at the sight. 
“Yup!” she held up her hands for a double high five that Hinata returned with a holler. 
“YEEEEEES!” 
“Just do that for the exam if you see a problem like that and you’ll be golden.”
“I will! You made it super simple to understand and do. If you weren’t such a badass with designs I’d say you could be a really good teacher, Yachi.”
“Ah, it’s nothing-”
“Hey. Don’t do that.”
“Huh?” Yachi stopped, mid tuck of putting a hair behind her ear. Wondering when she should get another trim for her split ends. “Do... Don’t do what?”
“Put yourself down,” Hinata pressed, leaning forward until their noses were almost touching. Yachi yelped and leaned back an inch. “You do that a lot. When I hype you up you hype yourself down. That’s not good.”
She knew she had a nasty habit of doing that. Of regulating herself to Villager B position. She’d been actively trying to not do that. And being in the club helped her cultivate a garden of confidence she could pick from whenever a new one bloomed. But every so often her habit came back. Innocuous and bitter. Never letting go.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize either,” Hinata said softly, yet there was a firm seriousness to his voice as he did.  
The fan whirred on and on. 
Hinata kept his gaze on Yachi. She felt sweat form in her palms. She watched as his gaze searched hers and then, for a brief second, fell to her mouth. She gasped. Her nails curling in to dig at her palms. Her eyes widening as the dangerous, mischievous idea that maybe he was considering what her mouth tasted like. Currently, she’s mad at herself for not reapplying her vanilla shea butter chapstick when she had thought about it. And currently, she considered how the humidity in her room is making her shirt stick in the most uncomfortable places. On her neck and under her arm and to her stomach. 
Their noses were inches apart. 
If she tilted her head, she could-
Hinata’s phone rang. The theme song of the newest Super Sentai- Mahou Ranger -blared through her room. Hinata and Yachi froze. Until Hinata cursed and got up to turn answer his phone. 
“Terushima!” Hinata said upon answering. “Hello? Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something? Huh? Wait, what? Bokuto is doing what ? Wait wait! Send pics and I’ll call you later about it! That’s epic-let him know! Ok bye!”
While he was on the phone, Yachi had a moment to ground herself. Had a moment to realize that she was, in fact, very close to having her first kiss. She slowly raised her finger tips to her lips. Ran the pads of her fingers along her bottom lip and pressed down. Wondering what the pressure of another person’s lips-of Hinata’s lips-would have felt like. 
“Yachi, are these the tissues I gave you a few weeks ago? You still have them?”
“Huh? Oh,” she saw the packet of tissues that Hinata was holding up. “Yeah. They’re cute! So I’ve been saving them for special blowing occasions.” saying that out loud was a lot more embarrassing than in her head, oh Lord. 
Hinata, however, found it hilarious. He laughed and placed it back on the table. “You’re right. They’re meant for the most epic of nose blows. That’s why they’re super soft! Absorbs all the snot!”
“Oh that’s gross,” Yachi said between laughter. Her heart was still racing. Her fingers tapped on the table with loose, uncontained excitement. She kept thinking what if, what if, what if . 
Maybe one day, she hoped rather hopelessly, she could see what world lied beyond the what if . 
But for now, she contented herself with watching Hinata sitting across from her. In the small space of her bedroom. Where the moments before their paths would diverge were tucked away in tiny pockets of her heart. 
  /
  “What’s that? Hinata you own a highlighter?”
“I didn’t even know you took notes.”
“Hey! I take notes!” Yachi was not so subtly listening into Hinata’s conversation a few desks away. She had been reworking training schedules for the team to do next week. Conditioning should be bumped down back to two days, and three days for strength work and other drills. She was about to bring out the markers to color code when she heard Hinata’s laughter. 
Her heart skipped a measure. Her fingers twitched. His laugh was, perhaps, one of the best things she’s ever been blessed to experience. Even when it wasn’t directed towards her. 
“When? All your notes are drawings, man.”
“It makes sense to me .” 
“Right, right!” 
“Well listen! Maybe I just needed a cool highlighter to keep me motivated.” 
“Yellow’s the most basic color there is…”
Ah! Man… that should not have made Yachi as bummed as it did. Well, they weren’t wrong, she supposed. Yellow was a basic color. Especially when there were other shades like purple or mint green or sky blue. Yellow… yellow just didn’t-
“This is the best shade of yellow there is.”
And there was something in the way that Hinata said that. So sure, so strong, and with enough passion someone would think he was defending his favorite tv show character. Yachi felt her heart soar. Then immediately felt silly for getting so excited over Hinata being an advocate for something silly like a highlighter. 
She glanced up secretly. Hoping to see what Hinata’s expression was like. Her heart stopped. Her breath hitched. 
Because Hinata was looking at her, too. 
If this were a shoujo manga, and Yachi’s read many of them, this would be the scene where the world disappears and the only thing left are their desks. Their eyes meet and around them is a frame of cherry blossoms and starlight. Of sparkles and an intense, hushed moment that’s meant to translate a moment shared between two people and two people only.
But this is the real world. The moment fleets and passes like a train rushing for its next stop. 
“I like this color,” Hinata said. Looking at her still. His face broke out into a sunny smile that hit Yachi right in the chest. “I like it a lot.” Then he twirled his highlighter around his fingers like a drummer and turned back to his friends. 
“What? Why were you looking at Yachi-san like that?”
“Haha, don’t worry about it!” Hinata turned the conversation onto asking if they’d seen the ending of Black Clover yet. 
There was a loud, pulsing sound. That roared and demanded attention. That swallowed Yachi’s entire body whole. She felt like one, large, heartbeat. Her cheeks were flamed and her fingers were jittery. 
She looked back down at her notes. Staring at the blue marker she was planning to use for color coding. She put it away and brought out the orange highlighter instead. The one she’d bought with Hinata. 
With a slow, measured stroke, she brought the highlighter across the first word on the page. 
CONDITIONING - LED BY HINATA SHOUYOU. 
  /
  Yachi felt like death. 
Madoka, her mother, knelt beside her bedside. “You’re so warm, dear. Are you sure you want me to go to work?” she frowned. “I can stay home.”
While Yachi would want nothing more than her mother to stay. To taste some of her mother’s food. To feel the continued cooling comfort of her palm pressed to her forehead. She couldn’t. Her mom had a project presentation coming up soon that had her working longer hours. Yachi knew how excited her mother was to show off her latest work. If she missed a day something could go wrong… and Yachi would feel even worse if that happened because of her.
“It’s ok, mama.” Yachi wiggled herself out of her blanket enough for her face to show. Her cheeks were red and flushed. Her body felt sluggish but she put on the best smile she could. “I just need to sleep some more. I’ll be ok! You go to work.”
“Are you sure?”
“Super sure,” she reached up to touch her mother’s hand. Gave it a squeeze. 
Her mom still didn’t seem convinced. But after a few moments she sighed and got up from the floor. “Alright,” she adjusted her bag and leaned forward to press a kiss on Yachi’s cheek. “Try eating the porridge I made for you if you can! I put all my love in it.” another kiss. “Text or call if you need anything, Hitoka!”
Her mom left for work shortly after. Yachi pulled the blanket back over her head. Oh, she hated being sick. It was such an unpleasant time. Not only was she unable to do work, but her body felt blegh all over. Her nose would keep running. Her eyes never stopped watering. And when she coughed she could feel her whole lungs shake like old rafters in an attic. 
She also hated being sick because she couldn’t see Hinata…
The other managers and a few of the players had sent her get well text messages once they found out she was out sick today. And memes, a lot of memes. She felt good, to be considered. It was nice when people remembered you in your absence. When you not being there meant just as much as you being there. That they even considered reaching out at all had made her all gooey! 
And then Hinata had texted her. And her heart exploded. 
  Hinata: YACHI WHY AREN’T YOU HERE!!
Yachi: I’m sick lol! But it’s just a cold tho!!! I should be better by tomorrow so no worries!!!! 
Hinata: OH NOOOOOOO Hinata: YOU BETTER FEEL BETTER SOON OR ELSE!!!
Hinata: I’m beating up your antibodies as we SPEAK!
Hinata: Wait Tsukishima just told me if I did that you’d die so I’m actually beating up your VIRUS 
  Hinata never failed to make her laugh. Even when it ended with a slight cough that made her more tired afterwards. 
She slept most of the day away. Getting up once to eat her mom’s porridge. It was yummy, because her mom made it. She checked in with her fellow managers. Seeing how practice went. They both told her it went fine, and that her main focus should be rest. 
  Miyuchan: [PICTURE OF HINATA MID JUMP] Hinata-senpai’s in good form today hehehe… Sorachan: [VIDEO OF HINATA TURNING TO THE CAMERA, WAVING] when i said your name he turned and waved!! Said it was just for you :) 
  Yachi’s entire face exploded with heat afterwards. She chucked her phone and ducked under the covers like a caterpillar. “Waaaaaaah! WAAAAAAAH! He looked so good today and I missed it!!! MUCUS DRY UP! COUGH GO AWAY!!!” 
She kicked her feet up and down and buried her head into the pillow. Ah, she really had it bad. When did it ever get this way, though? When had she even started to like him? When had that happened?
Maybe it was gradual. A steady rising. That just built up and up over time until she finally couldn’t ignore it anymore. Maybe it was the natural progression of things. When Hinata was so warm and open and understanding. When his sunlight was so attractive and welcoming that stepping to bask in its glow just wasn’t that weird of a thing to do. 
But now she thought about what wedding colors she’d have her bridesmaids wear at their wedding and what to do if Godzilla attacked that day and they had to get married within his stomach after being eaten and that was the thought that sent her back to sleep. 
When she woke up, the sun had set. 
She rose slowly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Ah, I slept for too long…”
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
“Morning Hinata…” . . . “HINATA?”
Hinata sat by her bed with the chair she usually had placed at her desk. He was all grins and laughter. “Haha, hey! Yeah, it’s me. I wanted to come see ya.”
“You… did?” 
“Yup! Your mom let me in. She wanted to let you know that she went OVERDRIVE with work today and finished enough so she could come back and see if you needed anything! We bumped into each other at the convenience store when I was getting you..” he reached into his bag and pulled out a pack of Fugashi. Her absolute favorite. 
She was going to cry. She’d blame it on the cold. 
“Hinata you didn’t have to get me anything! Just you here is uh,” she wanted to say that nothing was sweeter than time with Hinata. And nothing was more delicious than Hinata, in general. But instead settled with, “it’s good. It’s a pleasant surprise. Everyone really!” she quickly added. “I’ve gotten so many texts today from the team and our friends… feeling cared by you all made me feel a million times better!” 
Hinata still placed the bag of snacks on her bed beside her. And scooted the chair until he was right by her. He fixed her with a serious glance that made her want to fidget. But then he just broke out into his usual smile. 
“Well duh. Of course we’d check in on you! You’re important to us after all.”
“Hehe… yeah,” she rubbed at her cheek. “It’s nice to be reminded of that, I guess. You know?”
“Yeah, I get it.” he nodded several times for emphasis and then jumped as if he was struck by lightning. “Oh yeah! I almost forgot.” he reached into his bag again and pulled out a notebook. “I took notes! For you. Well, for me too but these are the ones I did for you specifically.”
She took the notebook from his hands. Flipping through the pages to find scrawled onto the paper notes. Organized and then explained why they were organized the way they were with doodles and boxes and arrows. It was all very Hinata. Yachi felt like she was getting a sneak peek into the inner workings of his brain. Which was cute. But what really made the notes was on the last page. Where he had written in big letters: KEY - IMPORTANT INFORMATION HIGHLIGHTED WITH YACHI YELLOW! 
This was the moment where she fell. 
If like was the diving board, love was the pool. And she fell into its waters. Got consumed by its waves. 
She liked him. Maybe even loved him. Infinitely so. The heat of her fever chilled in comparison to the overwhelming warmth and adoration she had for him in this moment. 
She pressed the notebook to her chest. Feeling the corners of her eyes sting. “These are the best notes I’ve ever received… thank you.” Yachi kept her eyes on Hinata. Who looked so pleased and elated and ecstatic-his entire face glowing from the praise. “And thank you for coming to see me.” 
“Of course, Yachi!” he reached out to grab her hand. Gave it a squeeze. And then ruffled her hair before he got up. “If you have any questions about the notes, gimmie a text! And I’ll see you in class tomorrow, ok? You better come! Or else I’m bringing you there myself!” 
“Yeah! Tomorrow,” she grinned. So hard her cheeks hurt. 
Later that night, after Hinata had left. Her mom came to find her later. Madoka sat at the end of Yachi’s bed. While Yachi sat propped against her headboard. Fingers running through every word Hinata had written for our. Making sure to linger extra long on the highlighted phrases. So much so her index finger had highlighter smudges on it. 
“I think he likes you,” her mom had said after a few moments. 
Yachi whipped up her head, “Did he say something? Did he! Mama you can’t say that and then not explain!”
Her mother laughed, “You didn’t give me a chance to! No, Hitoka. He didn’t say anything directly. But I know attraction when I see it.” she lowered her eyes, a sly expression on her face as she regarded Yachi. “Something tells me it’s not so one-sided on his part…” 
Yachi papped her cheeks, rubbing in small circles. “Ah… is it noticeable?”
“A bit,” she leaned forward to kiss Yachi on the forehead. “I approve, by the way. If he ever wants to come over for dinner let him know he’s more than welcomed! Also! Did you guys kiss? I hope you didn’t since you could pass your cold to him but if you did -”
“MAAAAMAAAAAA!” 
“Just teasing!” 
  /
  It was one thing to know you liked someone.
It was another thing altogether to act upon it. 
Yachi had definitely grown in her courage stat over her high school career. She didn’t hesitate to strike up a conversation. She didn’t question, as much and as aggressively, her place in the world. She raised her voice and led proudly during every practice session with her managers. She even looked forward to volunteering in class. 
But love? Romance? She had zero stats in that section at all.
Most of her knowledge came from otome games and shoujo mangas. And the occasional evening drama she and her mama would watch when her mama had a day off. 
Real life experience? Zero. 
How did people even confess to their crushes?
“I could write him a note,” she thought, sipping on her strawberry milk in class during lunch. “Or um… write him a song? I can’t sing well though. Maybe I should get someone else to sing it? But what if he thinks the person who’s singing the song to him is crushing on him and he falls in love with them and then they get engaged right in front of me I would have to simply pass awa-”
“What are you talking about, Yachi? It sounds stressful?”
“Hinata!” Of course he’d appear as she rambled herself into oblivion. So embarrassing. “Oh, nothing. I was just getting in my head a bit.”
“Well I hope you can get out of your head soon enough cause look!” Hinata held up his test score papers. They weren’t the best but they weren’t failures. He actually hit much higher than his usual exam results. With scores ranging well within the 60s and 70s. “I passed! Our study sessions worked!”
“Oh that’s so great Hinata! I knew you could do it! I’m so proud.”
“Hehehehehe, it’s all thanks to your wonderful teaching! Hey, as thanks. We’re gonna go out after school ok? Since we don’t have practice we can like, go get something to eat.” 
Like a date? Her brain supplied traitorously. “Something to eat sounds good. But you really don’t have to treat me. It was no trouble at all tutoring you.”
“I want to do this,” Hinata pressed. Firm and resolute. Once Hinata got set with an idea, it was hard to change his mind. Stubbornness was imprinted within his DNA-Yachi was sure of it. 
“Ok,” she agreed, nodding. Smiling, she added, “We can meet by the gym?”
“The gyms perfect! It’s a-” before he could finish Kageyama’s voice called out from the doorway. 
“Hinata! Melon bread is on sale today. Last one to the cafeteria sucks!” and then he booked it. 
“YOU DIRTY CHEATER, KAGEYAMA!” Hinata hollered. The classmates around them laughed. Yachi wondered what Hinata was going to say after that. But before she could ask Hinata turned to her, slapping his hands on her desk.
“The gym!” he pressed, looking her right in the eye. 
She nodded, “The gym. Go! Melon bread!” she stuck out her orange highlighter. Hinata blinked down at it for a second, then grinned. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his yellow highlighter. He tapped his against hers. 
“I’M COMING FOR YOU MELON BREAD!” Hinata roared before he tore out of the classroom like a hurricane on a mission. 
Yachi stared at her highlighter like it was a rare jewel. She clutched it to her chest, where her heart was beating madly. 
“Thank you so much for existing,” she whispered. 
The rest of the day went by in a blur. 
Yachi barely remembered what occurred in her lessons. But that wasn’t really important. What mattered was after school. It was rare that they didn’t have practice. But Ukai-sensei wanted to give the team a good rest after their last practice match with Nekoma.
“You guys aren’t even allowed to think about a volleyball,” Ukai-sensei had warned. “If I find out you’re even touching one? Laps! Laps for days!” 
Yachi was surprised Hinata wasn’t attempting to sneak off with Kageyama somewhere far, far away to go practice out of sight from their coach. But she’s incredibly happy he isn’t. 
“Yachi!” 
Yachi’s heart skipped a beat as Hinata stopped by her with his bike. She hopped off the steps to meet him. “Hinata! Hi! Nice bike!”
“Thanks! Wait check this out,” he rang the bell several times. It’s chime declared to anyone who could hear it. “It’s the Mahou Ranger theme song. I learned it last week with Terushima!” 
“It’s fine! Um,” she stared at the bike, looking left and right to find another seat. “Are we going on that together?”
“Yeah! Is that cool?”
Was that cool? She’s read shoujo manga after shoujo manga depicting this very scene and they still hadn’t prepared her for this moment. She swallowed thickly. 
“Yup! It’s cool. I won’t fall, right?” she attempted a laugh at the end. Something light to make her heart settle and her palms sweat less. (Do her armpits smell? Would he even notice if they did? No no, her armpits were fine ). 
Hinata grinned lopsidedly, “If you hold on tight you won’t even wobble.”
Oh Yachi’s gonna hurl. 
Once Yachi’s on the bike, and her arms are secured around Hinata’s middle, it’s a whole other experience. A thousand manga panels couldn’t capture the feeling of having her chest pressed to his back. Having her cheek against his shoulder. Seeing and meeting Hinata’s eyes everytime he glanced back to see if she was ok. 
“I’m a safe driver!”
“I think we broke the sound barrier a bit!”
“Yeah but safely !” 
She’s laughed more on the bike ride than she had all day. And she may have held on a little tighter. Squeezed and took advantage of the closeness a little more than she should. But she wanted to indulge in a little greediness. Take a bit more than what she usually would have. In case this moment was the last. In case she’d never get to feel him like this again. 
They ate first. At a ramen shop downtown. The noodles were soft and the soup was so warm! Yachi slurped up her entire bowl. Messily and all. They talked about everything. School and their current, favorite TV shows. They exchanged music recommendations and talked about the future. 
“I think I want to go abroad,” Hinata mentioned as they sat by the riverbank after dinner. 
The back of Yachi’s neck went cold. “Oh yeah?” she tried not to think about how abroad meant far away and not near here. Because these were his dreams, not hers. And above all Yachi wanted to support Hinata and his journey with every fibre of her being. No matter where that took him. Even if she couldn’t support him by his side. “That’s amazing! Do you have a place in mind?”
“A few!” Hinata hummed. “I’m still weighing the options. I wanna go somewhere warm though. With a nice beach… I’d love to play some beach volleyball!”
“I’d worry about the sand in my toes,” Yachi laughed. “I get sand everywhere when I go to the beach. It’s really unpleasant.”
The sun was beginning to set. Sitting heavy and content upon the horizon. A mix of oranges and yellows and quiet pinks and rueful purples. Yachi focused her eyes on the river. And made her brain think about how far it reached. How the river would probably go to the ocean. And how the ocean, despite being divided into seven parts, was really all connected at the end. And maybe, that could be them. Divided, but connected. 
“Ah yeah?” Hinata said. “Well, the sand would definitely need some getting used to. If you visit a lot though, you’d get used to all the sand, wouldn’t you think?” 
If you visit a lot . She had to know what that meant. Because the hope that rose in her chest and took root in her heart and was threatening to dominate her being was too much. Too great. And too burdensome to end in a deflation of a what if, or a failed expectation. 
“You’d want me to come see you?”
“Yeah of course,” Hinata was staring at the bank too. And then he turned to look at her. And she met him in return. As she always would. “I like you. So I wanna see you. Even when we graduate.”
“I mean of course we’d see each other after we graduate! I dunno if I could visit all the time because of college but maybe long breaks or something could work.” She’d completely blown by his first admission. Her brain was already trying to envision summer and fall and winter breaks and a trip. She had to balance finding an internship too. So maybe she could coordinate something with whatever company she ended up interning at. Hopefully they’d be lenient. She’s never traveled abroad either. So maybe she could call up Kiyoko-senpai or-
“Yachi get out of your head.” 
Suddenly, Hinata was in her space. Eyes intense and lips pulled into a frown. Yachi’s instincts told her to move away but her heart told her to remain rooted. 
“Hi,” she said quietly.
Hinata searched her face for countless seconds, “Yachi. Did you hear what I said? The first thing?”
“Yeah of course.” she responded. Then giggles. “Oh, that sounds like I’m responding to you but no I mean I’m just repeating.”
“No, after that. Think,” Hinata was so so close. And with the sunset coating him like a blanket, making his orange hair stand out even more, and his orange, golden eyes glow, she wondered if he’d keep his hair that long. Or if he’d cut it. And she wondered if she could touch it before they graduated. And she wondered if her mother was right, and he did like her. And she-
Oh. 
“You like me.” it hit her like a freight train. Her entire body was covered in a dawning blush. The electricity and tingling of the realization went right down to her toes. 
Hinata broke out into a brilliant smile. “Yes!” he laughed, head thrown back. The sound bounced all over the little world they were building of just her and Hinata. Only two. “Oh my God. I was worried you didn’t like me at first and that was your way of rejecting me. WAIT!” He whipped his head back, eyes wide with panic. “Do you like me? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t I’ll survive but if you did and I missed that you should say it again or if you haven’t said-”
“I like you,” Yachi blurted out. Because once the words had a reason to be alive. Had a reason to be born. Could be freed from the prisons of her mind and delivered safely with her heart to his hands-she had to say it. Here on the riverbank where the wet grass would surely leave stains on her skirt. But she didn’t care. Because she had to say it. 
“I like you so much,” Yachi continued. Flowing like the river below them. “So much it hurts. So much I really, really want to kiss you.”
Hinata took her lips in the softest kiss. One that made her sigh and her eyelashes flutter. One that made her feel so seen and heard and alive and broken apart and undone and melting all at once. 
It was her first kiss. And it made her want several more afterwards. 
Once they broke apart, Hinata pressed his forehead to hers. Yachi curled her fingers around the back of his neck. Allowed herself the blessing of playing with his hair at the nape of his neck. Biting her lip, she glanced up at him through her eyelashes. He was smiling at her. His cheeks flushed red-probably burning as much as hers were at the moment. He laughed, and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. 
“Me too,” he whispered against her skin. “I like you so much I'm gonna explode, haha.”
  /
   “Can I say something? It’s kinda cheesy,” Hinata started as they biked home. 
“Mhm,” Yachi hummed, nuzzled against his shoulder. 
“I think of you every time I use that highlighter. The yellow one. It’s the only highlighter I’ve ever owned. And it’s probably gonna stay the only highlighter I ever have. Is that weird?” he looked back sheepishly and chuckled. 
Yachi laughed, shaking her head. “No not at all. I got that orange highlighter because it reminded me of you, after all. Or well, your hair specifically. But you, by extension.”
“What do you like more. Me, or my hair?”
“Hmm… that’s a tough question… Can you get back to me on that?”
“No! Yachi! You have to answer right now! Wait,” he stopped the bike by a lamppost. Hopping off, he held out his hands for her to take like she was getting off a carriage. She flushed, giggling, and hopped off with his hands in hers. “I forgot something.”
“Did you leave something behind at the riverbank?” she hoped not. They could go back and look for whatever he’d lost, but it was dark now. And any luck would be wasted right now. She’d try though, if that’s what- 
“Oh, no! No that’s fine. I just. I realized I didn’t-AHHHH!” he shook his head several times like he was scaring away the ghosts in the attic. “Yachi Hitoka! Will you be my girlfriend please?” he yelled for as loud as the neighborhood could hear. “I know I’ll be leaving and we’ll be far apart for a while but I like you a lot! I like you so much! I’ll call you every night! I’ll wish you good morning and good night! I’ll send you pictures of my sandy feet! I want to share everything about this new world I’m going into and I hope you want to do the same! So please consider me as your boyfriend, thank you!” 
Hinata Shouyou was a bag of surprises. When she thought she had him figured out, Hinata just threw Yachi for a loop. 
But that’s what made her drawn to him. That’s what made her like him. 
“Yes!” she yelled, just as loud. Surely the neighbors would wake up but she didn’t care. “Hinata Shouyou I want to be your girlfriend! I want you to be my boyfriend and show me your sandy feet and I’ll show you my not sandy feet! I want to call you all the time! I want to support you on your journey even when we’re oceans apart! I want to continue being with you for as long as I can! I like you! I accept! Be my boyfriend, please!”
Hinata cupped her face and leaned in for another kiss.
Under the flickering lamp post on a late, spring evening where their final days were drawing in. 
But their first moments, together, were only beginning.
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sylphid187 · 3 years
Text
Coming Home, Taking Flight ‐ Chapter 1: Touchdown, Japan
A look into Hinata's return to Japan, his interactions with his friends, and how he makes it into the MSBY Black Jackals.
Reposting Chap 1 in text format.
His plane lands on an early morning, the sun just about to rise, as if it's rays were greeting him and welcoming him back.
Hinata Shouyou steps into Sendai Airport with a big smile and a feeling of euphoria. After two years navigating through the sands of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Shouyou was finally home. Two grueling years of trying his best to master the sands, to stand on his own two feet, for the chance to compete with the monsters that were waiting for him here. He was finally confident enough to say that he knew how to stand on his own on the court. He no longer needed to be branded as anyone's accessory, and he's finally found a way to fight his own battles.
He was ready to show the world that Ninja Shouyou was finally home where he belongs, and the first thing he has to do to make that happen...is to head to baggage claim.
Hinata navigates the airport with ease, as he successfully locates his things, and makes sure to double check that nothing is missing. He didn't want a repeat of when his money got stolen in Rio, so he takes ample time to check that he has everything, before making his way to the arrivals bay.
It feels odd to Shouyou. The sensation of finally being home, but also the feeling of starting something new once again. Here he is back in familiar territory, and after two years of making a name for himself on the beach, he is once again a complete stranger to those in the world of professional indoor volleyball. But that's okay. Shouyou's used to not being in the spotlight, being the decoy, the odd one out. He'd just have to find a way to make sure he makes an impression on the court.
He's just exited through the arrivals gate, baggage in tow, and about to grab his phone from his pocket to send a message to his mom regarding his arrival. Suddenly, another body barrels into him and envelopes him into a big, tight hug.
"Nii-chan! Welcome Home!" Shouyou doesn't even need to look to know who it is, and he immediately hugs back. For two years he's missed this. Two years of missing his little sister's birthday, her entrance to Niiyama Girl's High School, her volleyball tryouts and her overall presence. It feels like ages since Hinata has seen Natsu, feeling as if he's already missed so much in the short two years he's been gone. The thought of missing all of her newest milestones, and of not being able to see her whenever he came home at the end of the day, just makes Shouyou tighten his hold on her.
"Natsu. I missed you." He tells her, while eagerly lifting her up with ease. She's gotten much taller, her smile still bright and her eyes still sparkling like they used to.
"I missed you too Nii-chan." Natsu pushes away a bit, still being held up by her brother, and smiles wide. "Nii-chan you got a tan!"
Shouyou grins and lets out a laugh. "And you got taller! Unfair! You're probably going to end up taller than me!" He puts her back down, waits for her feet to properly touch the floor, and ruffles her hair with his other hand, full of affection. He notes in relief that Natsu still loved the attention from her big brother. He won't mention it out loud, but he's happy that, at least, hasn't changed.
He breaks their little moment together, when he notices that Natsu is alone. "Wait, I thought mom said she couldn't come to pick me up today? Because of work?" he asks her confused, he was already ready to book a taxi to make his way home. Shouyou didn't want to burden his family knowing that his flight would arrive extremely early.
"She couldn't." Natsu says with the grin never leaving her face. "Someone else is here to pick you up Nii-chan, I just got mom's permission to tag along."
As if on cue, not one, but multiple footsteps could be heard rushing towards them. "Hinata!!" Shouyou looks up and can't help his smile from widening even more.
"Yamaguchi! Yachi! Saltyshima!" He hears Natsu laugh at this.
"Seriously? I show up here for you and that's the first thing you say to me? I should have stayed home. Tsk." Tsukishima crosses his arms but a smirk is definitely etched on his face.
"Aw don't say that Tsukki!" Shouyou grins back. How he's missed this, bantering with Tsukishima.
"Don't call me that."
"Saltyshima it is then!"
The other two Karasuno alumni then immediately rush in between the them to give Hinata each big hugs. Yachi hugs him first, complete with the tears of joy in her eyes as she revels in seeing her friend again after two years. Yamaguchi hugs him next, laughing and joking at his height and new tanned look. "I can't believe how tall you've gotten Hinata! You're not so small anymore!"
"Yama-yama! I missed you! I hope you kept Slatyshima in line while I was away." Shouyou sees Tsukishima's eyebrows raise, and he just grins. Yachi and Natsu are chatting in the sidelines, while noting how Shouyou has changed so much in two years.
"Where do you even get these nicknames." Tsukishima sighs.
"Don't worry Saltyshima! I made sure to buy a special souvenir just for you." Shouyou grins.
"Oh god." Tsukishima sighs.
He hears Yamaguchi laugh again at their playful exchange, before they each begin to help him carry some of his belongings. "Now come on you two, I know you missed each other" Yachi starts "but we have to get going now, we have to drive the Hinatas' back home!"
"Awww you guys are driving me?" Shouyou exclaims, and then his smile softens. "You guys didn't have to. I didn't want anyone to go through the trouble, really."
"We wanted to." Yachi assures him softly. "Did you really think we would let you travel all the way back home by yourself?"
"Well..."
"Besides, we had to fight Kenma-san for this chance so..." she says with a grin.
"Wait what?" Shouyou asks, confused. He looks over at Natsu to ask for answers, but she shakes her head and replies. "Don't worry about it too much Nii-chan. They were able to reach a pretty good compromise."
"Compromise for what?" he asks again, but no one seems to want to answer him.
"Don't worry about it." Yachi tells him again with a wink. "That's something for you to look forward to."
Yamaguchi grins and chooses now to butt in. "Think about it this way, Tsukki loves you enough to drive for you, Hinata."
Shouyou looks over to the side and he's pretty sure he sees Tsukishima twitch. "Awwwwww Saltyshima!! I knew you loved me!" Yachi and Natsu giggle in the background as Tsukishima lets out a huff.
"First off, Yamaguchi shut up." a small, practiced 'sorry Tsukki' could be heard in the background. "Second, I only agreed to do this because everyone else was worried you'd get lost somewhere if we left you to find your way home on your own."
"Alright Tsukki, whatever you say. Whatever gets you to sleep better at night." Shouyou grins. 
"Let's just go before I leave you here, you shrimp."
Yachi laughs as she pats Tsukishima on the back, and tells him in a singsong voice. "He's not a shrimp anymore."
Soon enough, they eventually get to moving and continue to walk and talk. Once they make it to the car, with Tsukishima driving, Yamaguchi in the passengers seat and the two females and himself at the back, Shouyou can't help but look around the scenery outside. It's finally hitting him that he's back in Japan for real.
Japan's scenery passes by them in a blur as they drive past, and Shouyou begins to ask his sister about how she's been in school. Natsu is ecstatic to tell her brother all about her volleyball games in Niiyama. "You should have seen me Nii-chan! We're going to make our way to Nationals just like you guys did!"
"We should play together some time Natsu! I can toss for you!" He exclaims in excitement. The idea of playing the sport he loved with the sister he loved made Shouyou extremely happy. Getting to share his love of the sport with Natsu was something he was very much looking forward to. 
"I can't wait to see that. Think you can toss better than the king now?" And even when he's driving, Tsukishima could still look smug through the rearview mirror.
Shouyou laughs. "I don't think so, but I've been getting some practice in, these past two years. That, and the Grand King taught me." The thrill of playing with Oikawa-san in the beaches of Brazil will never truly wear off. And Shouyou will happily boast about that fact that Argentina's very own Oikawa Tooru had been one of the people who'd taught him the basics of setting. That, and Oikawa-san's image of his face hitting the sands mid-dive, will also be forever imbedded in Shouyou's memory. 
The conversation eventually drifts away from volleyball and Shouyou begins to ask his friends how other members of their old Karasuno team have been. He briefly wonders if he'd have the time to properly visit everyone during his short stay in Miyagi before his tryouts, but knows this might be best postponed at a latter time, when he is better settled in. The last thing he would want is to rush a reunion just because he had no time available at the moment.  
"Suga-senpai is a teacher now, and Daichi-san works for the Miyagi Police Force. They're living together now, I think?." starts Yamaguchi. It's no surprise to all of them that their captain and vice-captain eventually ended up together. Even during high school, the two were already considered as the pseudo parents of the team. 
Yachi then claps her hands together before continuing "Asahi-san's new line is supposed to be out soon too! And Nishinoya-san is still travelling I think. I've seen most of his photos on social media!"
"Am I the only one surprised about Tanaka-san and Kiyoko-san?" Tsukishima states. "Is no one going to mention that?"
Shouyou can't help but laugh at that "Now you're just being mean."
"So are you telling me that it didn't surprise you when you found out?" Tsukishima looks at him from the mirror and raises an eyebrow.
"Well...." It's true that the mentioned couple was definitely one of the most surprising, but Shouyou likes to think that Kiyoko-san would definitely balance out Tanaka-senpai pretty well. 
"It definitely surprised me! Can't believe he actually did it." says Yamaguchi with a grin. 
"I can't believe she said yes."
"Tsukki!"
"Again, weren't you guys just as surprised?"
"Oh yeah, definitely." agrees Yachi with a small laugh of her own.
"I rest my case."
The drive home continues as they laugh and reminisce, and soon enough Shouyou feels himself drifting off. The tiredness suddenly overcoming him as he slowly begins to fall into slumber, and let out a yawn. He faintly hears teasing coming from Tsukishima, while Yachi and Yamaguchi are telling the latter to let him get his rest. As he continues to lose consciousness and let sleep overtake him, he feels a head rest on his shoulder and forces his eyes open for a few more minutes, only to see Natsu looking up at him.
"Welcome home Nii-chan." she tells him softly.
"Glad to be home Natsu. I missed you tons." He tells her, as he slowly reaches up, with his other arm, and pats her head. "I'm proud of you, and I hope you're ready to have me back. Because I have two years worth of memories to make up for."
Natsu smiles wide. "Of course Nii-chan. I missed you tons too. Things weren't the same without you." she leans into his side a little more before speaking again. "I can't wait to watch you play in the league." she tells him softly. Seems like Natsu was also starting to drift to sleep. Shouyou is unsure if any of the others are still talking at this point, but he figures they're probably also giving the siblings some time to catch up on their own, even if it was just for a little while. 
Shouyou chuckles. "I have to show up to tryouts and make it into a team first Natsu."
"You will. You'll make it, I know you will." Natsu says with certainty.
"If I do, you'll be the first to know, I promise." He tells her. His eyes are beginning to close now. It's feels like it's been ages since he's had a moment like this with Natsu. Shouyou wants to revel in it, just a little longer.
"You mean WHEN you do."  Natsu tells him again, firmly. "Believe in yourself more Nii-chan. You're Hinata Shouyou, and people are about to see just what you're made of."
Shouyou already knows the team he wants to be in, knows the capabilities of the players in the Black Jackal's roster, and knows the names and faces to some of those greats. Shouyou knows within himself that he is good enough, he just has to find a way to get others to see how high he can fly.
He smiles as he lets Natsu's words of encouragement and comfort wash over him. How lucky he is, Shouyou thinks, to have the best people surrounding him in this life. Natsu is right. He's trained hard to compete with the monsters of today, the last thing he has room for is self-doubt.
As Shouyou fully lets his thoughts drift, and his body give in to the lull of sleep, he feels his sister already drifting beside him with her head still on his shoulders. In the background, he thinks he hears what sounds like a camera clicking, and is sure that either Yachi or Yamaguchi has taken a photo of himself and Natsu while drifting. 'I should ask to see that photo later'
This warmth and comfort he surrounds himself with, and the excitement of the days to come are Shouyou's continuous reminders that:
It really was great, to be back home.
14 notes · View notes
httpsaiki · 3 years
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Don’t You Forget About Me (TsukiYama)
This is just pure angst, it caused me great pain to write. TsukiYama is platonic, but I wasn’t sure how else to title/tag this.
TW for angst and death
WC: 3977
Yamaguchi is missing. —————————————————–
It can all come to an end in an instant. Who would’ve imagined it would take missing person posters and search parties for Tsukishima to come to that conclusion?
College students don’t just disappear for no reason. Especially not tall, strong college boys who could easily defend themselves. Especially not Yamaguchi Tadashi.
Yamaguchi Tadashi, the light of so many people's lives, where have you gone? He was someone Tsukishima never thought would disappear - having been in his life for so many years. He couldn’t imagine life without the smaller, green-haired boy. It had never crossed his mind that he'd have to spend even a day without hearing Yamaguchi go on, telling him about his day, or being called “Tsukki”, much to his own annoyance. The irritated expression that the nickname caused never seemed to prevent it, anyway.
He missed the sound of him calling that nickname, running up to him with slight enthusiasm to share whatever news he had. It had been weeks since he last heard it. He had always tuned Yamaguchi’s rambling out, if even he listened, it was never truly his full attention. Tsukishima wished now he’d listened better. Maybe if he had, Yamaguchi would be here right now. They’d be at one of their homes and Yamaguchi would be beside him, telling him all about some silly thing his classmate did or what happened in today’s lecture. If only he was, Tsukishima thought bitterly to himself. Oh, what he’d give to hear about Yamaguchi’s day right now, some sense of normalcy back to his life. He knew he’d listen with all his attention, focused on every syllable that Yamaguchi tells him.
The guilt and regrets ate him alive. It was his fault, he knew it. If only he hadn’t-
“Tsukishima!” The voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “You’re doing it again, snap out of it.”
Tsukishima’s head turned slowly to the source of the voice, not having the mental energy to match a name to it right now. The orange hair was familiar, it didn’t take any more than that for a name to pop in his mind. Hinata Shouyou. Oddly enough, someone that he’d kept contact with after high school. He didn’t understand why they kept in as close contact as they did. Maybe it was being on a volleyball team together for three years, or something about his aggravatingly bright and cheery personality, but they kept in touch. Of course, Hinata knew about Yamaguchi’s disappearance and likely about Tsukishima’s suffering as well.
He took this chance to take in his surroundings once again, delaying his reply to Hinata’s words. The police station, such an ordinary sight to him now. The old desks and creaky chairs. It wasn’t kept as up-to-date as he imagined it would be. He’s visited countless times over the past two weeks, talking to officers and being interviewed by more detectives than he cared to remember. He always found himself apathetic as can be during those times, it was easier to just be unfeeling and not entirely present. He was still more than willing to respond to questions and help out with the investigation in any way he could. Mainly because he did not want to be counted as a potential suspect. Tsukishima internally grimaced at the thought, as if he’d ever intentionally do anything to hurt Yamaguchi. Now, he was seated near the entrance, just having come out of yet another exhausting discussion, asking the detectives the same questions he had every day since his disappearance. He knew most of these cases closed within the first twenty-four hours, so why hadn’t they found anything yet?
“Doing what?” He asked, he knew what Hinata meant by the question, but it was far easier to play dumb. His voice was completely monotone and yet it sounded harsh and venomous. Hinata visibly reeled back, only a flinch but enough for Tsukishima to take notice. “Sorry.” He apologized, it was still cold, but not nearly as vicious as before.
“Spiraling,” Hinata stated simply. “Don’t put all the blame on yourself, Tsukishima, it won’t help.” Hinata had a point and Tsukishima knew it. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to ignore that fact, though. His hands came up to his temples, long fingers rubbing them slightly in an attempt to relieve the tension. “I just want him home and safe,” Tsukishima’s voice was low, quiet, and soft. A complete contrast to the way he was speaking before.
"I know, we all do. We’re all worried." Hinata spoke, glancing nervously towards Tsukishima. He never got a reply, receiving only an icy glare instead. There was only one thing on Tsukishima’s mind, nobody truly understood how he felt during all of this. Everyone around him was sympathetic, trying to be understanding and attempting to help. However, no other person was feeling the pain like he is, and nobody else felt the shame corrupt them like he currently was. He knew not another soul wanted Yamaguchi back as badly as he did.
He forced his thoughts to halt. This isn’t about him, it’s about Yamaguchi. Who cares how he feels while his best friend is out there, still missing? With that, Tsukishima stood and left without another glance in Hinata’s direction. That didn’t stop his friend from noticing his sullen, pained expression that seemed permanently etched into his features. Hinata followed out the door shortly after, but by the time he got outside Tsukishima was nowhere to be seen.
The sound of his keys trying to force their way into his door snapped Tsukishima out of his thoughts yet again. Realizing he was putting the wrong key into his door, he switched to the right one, swiftly unlocking the door and entering the apartment. To say it was untidy was an understatement. It was overwhelmingly messy, he hadn’t bothered to take much care of it ever since Yamaguchi went missing. He sighed, picking up some clothes and throwing them into a laundry basket.
One sweatshirt caught his eye, it certainly wasn’t his. It had the name of a college printed neatly on the back, but it wasn’t that which grabbed his attention. No, the last name stitched into the arm, Yamaguchi. Of course. Of course, it had to be his, he must’ve left it here the night- No. Tsukishima still refused to think about Yamaguchi's last moments with him. He stared at the hoodie for just a little longer before giving in and slipping it over the t-shirt he was currently wearing. He felt bad for wearing it without permission, but it was the only way he felt he could have his friend back, even if it was only a little.
He looked around the apartment once again, seeing it was somewhat cleaner than before. It was now, he realized, just how empty it felt. Most nights, especially ones like these, Yamaguchi would be over. He basically lived at Tsukishima’s place, sleeping there more nights than at his own apartment. Tsukishima could see Yamaguchi on his couch, hunched over notes and cramming for some upcoming quiz. Or maybe he’d be seen in the kitchen, laughing at something stupid while he makes hot chocolate, the TV on in the background. He had such a nice laugh. Despite everything that had happened the last two weeks, Tsukishima still half expected him to wander out of the guest bedroom, waking up from a nap and stretching as he mumbles a small, “Good evening, Tsukki,” before making himself comfortable on the couch and opening Netflix. Yamaguchi had always been a welcome guest, Tsukishima could only wish he’d told him that all the times he got the chance.
Tsukishima walked into the kitchen, freezing for a moment, realizing Yamaguchi really wasn’t there. He peeked into the guest bedroom as well, seeing only an unmade bed and a black backpack sitting, leaned on the corner. He couldn’t bear to look at it anymore before turning around and walking straight to his bedroom. The thought of eating right now repulsed him. Sleeping wasn’t much more appealing, but at least he wouldn’t have to force himself to stomach something. It was too early to sleep, only being 9 p.m, but the exhaustion that overtook his body overtook any will power he had to stay awake any longer. So he slept.
Tsukishima stirred from his sleep, sitting up in his bed before looking over at the clock that sat beside him. 9 a.m, huh? He slept a long time. His body felt rejuvenated and oddly energized as he slipped out of his bed. The world looked just a little brighter today. Maybe it was the sun shining, just barely visible from behind his blinds or maybe it was the sweet smell of pancakes that overtook his senses. Wait, pancakes? Who was making-
“Tsukki! Get up, silly, I made breakfast!” Yamaguchi’s head peered its way into Tsukishima’s bedroom, peaking past the door frame. His hair was messier than usual, signaling that he woke up not that long ago as well. Tsukishima’s heart jumped upon seeing his face. There was no mistaking it, that’s really him. “Oh, you’re awake. Come eat!”
“Yamaguchi? It’s really you?” Tsukishima called out, disbelief evident in his voice.
“Who else?” He asked sarcastically, a small giggle coming out after he spoke, “C’mon, I’ll cut up some strawberries to go on the side. Oh! Do you have whipped cream? I couldn’t find any.”
Tsukishima opened his mouth to answer, but before he could he felt himself shooting up in his bed again. He blinked, his room was suddenly pitch black, the only light was a faint glow coming from the clock that was next to him. It read 5 a.m, how he wished it would say 9 instead. How badly he wanted to go back to that dream. Tsukishima sighed, tears welling up in his eyes as a sob escaped his mouth before he could stop it. A hand came up, covering his mouth in an attempt to prevent any more sound from coming out. It was in vain, however, as loud, violent sobs took over his body. He shook as he cried, removing the hand from his mouth to cover his eyes. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, even when his sobs were reduced to mere whimpers. This was the first time he allowed himself to feel Yamaguchi’s disappearance. That dream was vile and yet it was everything he wanted right now.
Tsukishima clambered lazily and clumsily out of bed. Falling onto the floor with a small thud. He pulled his blanket off his bed, wrapping it tightly around himself after he reached to grab his phone. He promised himself he wouldn’t do this, and yet here he was, giving in to his desires. He knew it would only hurt more, but he needed to hear Yamaguchi’s voice.
After staring at the screen for a moment, making sure he was as mentally prepared as he could be, he opened the phone app. There was no point in calling him, that was something Tsukishima had learned quickly. Yamaguchi’s phone was currently in the black backpack that sat in the guest bedroom. Tsukishima tapped on the button for voicemails, quickly calling the service to replay some of the old ones that Yamaguchi had left him. He didn’t take his eyes off the screen as he listened to the voice that fell from his speakers.
“Hey, Tsukki, I hope your practice is going well! The fact you didn’t pick up means it probably is. Anyways, uh, I’m gonna be a little late coming over tonight. We were assigned a group project and I need to drop by my partner’s house to work things out. I don’t know if we’re getting started or not, but I still wanna work out who’s gonna do what. I’m still coming by your place, though! Don’t you forget about me!” Yamaguchi laughed, “Okay, bye-bye! I’ll see you later tonight!”
The voicemail ended there. If only those last few words were true.
“Don’t you forget about me!” Yamaguchi was joking when he said that, Tsukishima was sure of it, but those words still repeated in his head, even minutes after he heard them. How could he ever forget about someone like him?
He clearly remembered the night that he had received that voicemail. Yamaguchi was, indeed, late that night. It wasn’t any trouble, all they did was binge a TV series and chat about their days. It was nothing out of the ordinary, it happened most nights for them, whenever school wasn’t too busy. It was peaceful and good at relieving stress for both of them. Just casually watching whatever stupid show is on with the person most important to you. He missed putting on purposely bad television with him, just to make fun of it until the early hours of the morning.
Tsukishima considered listening to another voicemail but thought better than to do so. He should save them for another night like this, where he needs nothing more than to hear Yamaguchi’s cheerful voice. He knew he’d need them again.
He thought back to the last time Yamaguchi didn’t sound cheerful. It was the last night they saw each other. Yamaguchi was visiting, as per usual. School had been particularly rough on both of them, each having their personal struggles, academic struggles, and a need to let out their frustrations. Yamaguchi was tired, that much was evident on his face. Tsukishima wasn’t having the greatest time and took some of that out on Yamaguchi. The argument that broke out between them was loud and brutal. It escalated to the point Tsukishima just wanted it to end, insulting Yamaguchi in an attempt to shut him up.
The heartbroken expression on his face was enough to send Tsukishima into another wave of tears. It was like it was ingrained into his eyelids, he saw it every time he blinked. The last thing he remembers was Yamaguchi, tears falling rapidly down his face, sprinting past him out the door. He didn’t even turn to grab his things.
Tsukishima was too proud to run after him, Yamaguchi never returned.
He curled in on himself, the guilt becoming overbearing once again. It was too much, he felt physically unable to handle his emotions. He cried for the second time that night. He was unwilling to go back to sleep, afraid of the cruel yet welcoming dream would come back to him. Eventually, his crying tired him out so much he couldn’t resist the call of sleep. He slept sitting on the floor, still in Yamaguchi’s sweatshirt. Luckily, he didn’t dream of anything. Just a heavy, unfulfilling sleep.
The next morning he was woken by a phone call from Hinata. Still irritated at himself for last night and everything that had happened, he answered the phone with a curt hello.
“Tsukishima? You alright? Did I wake you?” Hinata’s concerned voice asked him.
“Of course I’m not fine, Hinata, they haven’t found him.” Tsukishima had to stop and take a breath, he couldn’t be crying over the phone with Hinata listening. “And yes, you did wake me. What is it?”
“I was just going to invite you for lunch - I think it might do you some good. Kageyama agreed to come, he’s worried too.”
Tsukishima wasn’t sure how to feel. On one hand, he had two of his friends trying to help him through this. They were doing their best and they must be having a hard time too. On the other hand, the thought of leaving this spot on his floor, having to walk past the places he could only wish Yamaguchi would be pained him.
“I-I’ll come.” His voice was as unsure as his thoughts, but he knew it would be a good chance to try and take his mind off things.
“Don’t you forget about me!” The simple statement rang through his head once again. It was so meaningless at the time. He never knew such a small, insignificant joke would haunt him in this way. He wasn’t going to forget, no. He was just meeting with friends, not moving on.
Tsukishima’s internal reassurances caused him to miss whatever Hinata had been saying.
“-so we’ll meet you there. Does that sound good?” Hinata rambled into the phone.
“Sorry, meet me where?” Tsukishima prayed his friend wouldn’t notice that he hadn’t been paying attention the entire time.
“The café we normally go to, the one down the street from your place?” Hinata’s voice was calm, it sounded more comforting than usual. Tsukishima found this strange, usually, he found his voice to be annoying. It seemed Hinata was trying to help more than Tsukishima realized. He was internally far more grateful than Hinata would ever know.
“Right. Thank you.” He didn’t even mean to thank him, it slipped out. He hung up the phone before he could get a reply. Reluctantly, Tsukishima stood from his blankets, realizing he’d need to shower and get ready before going out. As quickly as he could, he stumbled into the bathroom. Still half in a daze, he washed his hair and slipped into clean clothes. The apartment was way too quiet for a Saturday afternoon. There was no quiet TV in the next room, nor was there the sound of a soft, gentle voice mumbling as Yamaguchi was reading over his notes. He’d always found the murmuring annoying, he now didn’t understand how he ever did.
Standing in his bedroom doorway, Tsukishima took a deep breath. He was ready to leave, but the hard part came now. A knock at his door startled him. Hinata and Kageyama weren’t supposed to pick him up? It’s far too early, anyways. The knock came again, this time harder.
“Coming,” Tsukishima called out, his feet yet to move. He shut his eyes and made his way as quickly as he could towards the door. Without looking behind him, where he knew certain disappointment would await, he opened the door.
A familiar face was at his door, the lead detective on Yamaguchi’s case. The detective began speaking, asking if he could come inside and recommending Tsukishima take a seat.
The detective inhaled sharply, choosing his next words carefully, “We found Yamaguchi,” he started, but Tsukishima interrupted frantically before he could finish.
“Where! Where is he?” Tsukishima cried out.
“He’s dead.”
And at that very moment, Tsukishima’s entire world stopped. Dead? Yamaguchi Tadashi, dead? There’s no way. Not his best friend of so many years, not the man who’d gotten him through so much. There’s no way, it’s impossible. No. No. No.
“You’re wrong!” He yelled, his voice had never been so pained, so desperate, “It’s someone else! It has to be! Tell me it’s someone else!”
“The DNA match checks out, so does the appearance. I’m sorry.”
The detective left soon after, he had no more business there. Tsukishima didn’t move, hardly blinking nor breathing. He could hear his heartbeat racing in his ears. It was painful. Why did his heart get to beat? Why his heart and not Yamaguchi’s? He didn’t notice when Hinata and Kageyama walked in and sat in front of him. The tear stains on Hinata’s face would’ve given away that they knew as well, had Tsukishima looked at him. Kageyama tried to keep strong for the other two, but looking into his eyes would give away that he was hurting too.
“Tsukishima?” Hinata called out gently, kneeling in front of him while resting a hand on Tsukishima’s knee, trying to get a look at his face.
“He’s dead, Hinata. Gone.” Tsukishima’s mouth moved without him realizing it. It was as if life was on autopilot, he felt completely numb. Hinata said nothing, but opened his arms, inviting his friend in for a hug. Tsukishima leaned in, once again without even realizing his actions. Hinata held him as he cried.
The funeral hurt him even more. Having to see his body there, dressed up to look nice, it was a sickening sight. He sat, watching friends and family members tearfully say their goodbyes. He was among one of the last to say goodbye, wanting to delay the reality of the situation as long as he could. The fact he was not coming back hadn’t truly dawned on him yet. It was a realization he knew he’d make soon and he feared the day it would come. Akiteru came along, and he wasn’t sure if his brother's presence was to support him or to attend the funeral itself. Chances are it was a mix of both.
Tsukishima was of course asked to speak, and there was no way he could refuse. He stood up, looking at the group of people before him. Some were crying their eyes out, others were just glassy-eyed - trying to remain as strong as they could. Yamaguchi really had an effect on people. Tsukishima blanked for the entirety of his speech, letting his thoughts spew out of his mouth without thinking. He had no idea if anything he said was making sense nor did he have any idea what he was actually saying. All he knew was the only thing fueling him at this point was raw emotion.
It was scary. Not something he was used to.
Once the ceremony ended, Tsukishima was back on autopilot. He knew he needed to move on in life. What he didn’t know, however, was how he would manage to do so. Yamaguchi was always there through the big changes. He’d always been Tsukishima's rock, the one consistent thing no matter what.
Everything felt bleak and empty. On particularly bad nights, he’d still half-expect to see Yamaguchi in his living room when he came home. He considered moving out, but he knew he’d regret it. It was the last place he had memories with his best friend, the last place he was seen alive.
Alive. Tsukishima had grown to hate that word. He felt the same way he did the day he found out about his best friend's death. It was unfair, he felt he should’ve been the one to run out. Maybe if he had he’d be dead instead of Yamaguchi, or maybe they’d both be fine and happy. Either option sounded better than the life he was currently living. He had his other friends, sure, but none of them could come close to comparing to his best friend.
The apartment haunted him, but there was no way he could leave. The bed in the guest bedroom still hadn’t been made, despite it being well over a month since anyone had slept in there. The black backpack remained untouched, leaning on the end of the bed. That was Yamaguchi’s room and Tsukishima refused to meddle with it. A part of him hoped every day that he’d come back. He just wanted to pull him in for a hug and apologize. Even if he wasn’t forgiven - and he believed he shouldn’t be - he just wanted a chance to tell Yamaguchi everything he’d meant to him.
Sometimes he got the chance to, in his dreams. Those always turned to nightmares. Yamaguchi never forgave him, it always resulted in him running away, turning us back from Tsukishima and claiming how he’ll never forgive him. Tsukishima knew that was unlike Yamaguchi, but having to witness it, night after night, was more than Tsukishima could handle. One phrase never failed to come back-
“Don’t you forget about me!” Yamaguchi’s voice rang through his head once again, it was becoming a normal occurrence at this point. It was haunting, yet Tsukishima welcomed it. Even though it terrified him, even though he hated being reminded of the death he felt he caused, it was such a comforting voice. The words reminded him that he hadn’t forgotten. He made one last promise to himself, one that he intended to keep.
“I won’t,” Tsukishima whispered.
25 notes · View notes
knightofameris · 4 years
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mango & orange green tea — hinata shouyou
𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛: Neutral 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜: Boba shop AU :3c, female OC (little sister), i feel liek there’s second hand embarrassment in here (kinda), Hinata and you are like college age, sister is ~7?, HINTS TO TIMESKIP HINATA? BUT LIKE ONLY IN WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE LOL 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1.3𝚔
𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍: mango & green tea 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 MeetFresh  𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔!
⇽ 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 ◜𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜' 𝚋𝚘𝚋𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚞◞
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Your younger sister, Kumiko, pointed at the various shaved ice combinations on the menu, talking about how her and her friend’s parents brought their volleyball youth group out for a birthday celebration. Which made sense, the shaved ice options that they had were all large portions and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to finish it with her. But she was really craving it and you wanted to treat her out since you’ve come back from university.
Honestly, with how long your sister was taking to pick which shaved ice option she wanted, you were thankful that the cashier was so patient. And that there was no line.
“Oh! This one, the pudding and Q mochi milk! That one’s really good. What are you gonna get?” Kumiko asked, staring up at you with wide eyes. You knew she’d feel bad if you only went to get something for her. 
“Uhmm, I’m not sure, maybe a drink,” you stated, though it was more a question since there were also way too many drinks for you to choose from. 
“If you’d like a suggestion-” you glance up towards the orange-haired cashier who somehow never let his smile disappear “-the mango and orange green tea is pretty good!” 
You hum to yourself, staring down at the menu before settling in. It was kinda funny how he suggested something with orange considering his hair color. If you were close to him, you’d make some comment about that but you weren’t about to say that. 
“Yeah, I’ll try that then, along with the pudding and Q mochi milk shaved ice.” You smiled at him as you ruffled your sister’s hair. As he tapped in the order, your eyes brushed over his arms, almost alarmed that someone who was something akin to a ray of sunshine, could be as built as he was. Heat rushed up to your face as you looked away from his arms and up to his face instead, who at the same time met your eyes to tell you the price.
You quickly give him your card and he hands you a buzzer that tells you when your order is ready. 
“It’ll be out soon, thanks!” He grins and you can't help but smile back but before you know it, Kumiko’s already tugging you towards a table and grabbing the buzzer herself. 
Your sister continues to update you on what’s happened since you’ve been off to college and you listen intently, waiting patiently. It doesn’t take long for the buzzer to go off and Kumiko dashed to grab it. True to Hinata Shoyo’s word, as you figured out his name since it was printed on the receipt next to ‘Cashier.’ At least, you hope that was his name since you knew that sometimes coworkers would just use the same register with a different name. 
But it’d be kinda cute if that was his name, it did mean sun and his hair was bright orange and his smile might as well be as bright as the sun and the way he talked to you and your sister and his employees-
“Come on! The food’s here!!” Kumiko interrupted your thoughts, dashing towards her seat. You arched a brow at where the food (dessert, really) was and Hinata appeared, holding the tray. You flushed, embarrassed that he had to go out of his way to help. You really should have gotten the tray yourself but you had to get caught up on him. 
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you stand up and dash towards him, grabbing the tray out of his hands before giving him a slight bow. “Kumiko, why didn’t you call me over?” You send her a slight glare but Hinata’s laughter caught your attention instead. 
“It’s alright, I’m off the clock now!” He grinned. “Besides, Kumiko-chan reminds me of my little sister when she was her age.” 
“Hinata’s so cool! He watched Sailor Moon too!” She beamed as you went to set the tray down in front of her, the young girl impatiently dug into the shaved ice, even grabbing a bit of mochi to place into her smaller bowl. 
“Kumiko, you know you can’t talk to everyone about Sailor Moon that’s why I’m here,” you pouted jokingly. The spoon in your hand grabs the ice cream at the top to place in her bowl. “Also you should call him Hinata-san.”
“No it’s fine! You can just call me Hinata, I already told her that.” Hinata waved you off, to not let you worry anymore. Turning back to Hinata, you find that he’s holding your drink in his hand, already handing you it. Kumiko interrupts you, introducing you to Hinata for you.
“Sorry, I feel like such a bother, is there anyway I can make it up to you?” you ask sheepishly, grabbing the drink from him. Before he can answer, Kumiko does for you.
“Come eat, the shaved ice is going to melt! Hinata, who’s your favorite Sailor Guardian?” Kumiko asked before going off about who her favorite was (it’s Sailor Jupiter). You glance over at Hinata sheepishly but he almost pays you no mind as he immediately sits down across from Kumiko. You’re sure to take the spot in between them on the side of the four-seated table.  
Honestly, part of you was surprised at how well Hinata was able to keep up with Kumiko’s conversation. Sometimes it felt like he was just as much a child as she was. With Hinata even giving her different anime recommendations she’d like (Like Cardcaptor Sakura) and how he’d describe things using sound effects. It felt easy and natural talking to him and your sister. You were just thankful that he was able to indulge in her obsession with Sailor Moon. 
After the three of you finished the shaved ice, since it was very obvious that you and Kumiko could not finish it and you insisted that he’d have some if he was sitting with them, Kumiko declared that she wanted to return the tray and bowls. So you let her, also being sure to keep a watchful eye on her. 
“I’m so sorry you got roped in like that,” you rub the back of your neck. 
“No, it’s alright! Really, I didn’t have anything to do. It was fun talking to you and Kumiko-chan.” Hinata reassured. “Plus, you let me have some of the shaved ice.” 
You chuckled, “It’s nothing, you’ve been more than helpful. A-plus customer service, but please if there’s anything I could do just let me know.” 
Hinata looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought before the light in his head went off. “You could stop by one of my volleyball games for support! Wait, here, put your number in my phone and I’ll text you everything.” He quickly takes out his phone to hand to you and you’re suddenly shocked at how you’re putting your number into this really cute guy’s phone. And this was honestly thanks to your sister.
“Hey, Hinata!” Kumiko skipped back to the table. “Can we talk about Sailor Moon more next time?” 
“Only if you come to my volleyball game!” 
Kumiko gasped, jumping excitedly. So much so that you had to grab her close to you before she could get in the way of any other MeetFresh patrons. 
“I play volleyball too! Did you hear that!” Kumiko asks, staring up at you with bright round eyes.
Hinata was sure to walk you and Kumiko back to your car, letting her further indulge him about what she liked about volleyball. At this point, Kumiko talked more to Hinata than you were able to, but the orange-haired boy was sure to give you glances, grateful for the fact that through your sister he was able to spend some time around you. 
Later that night as you’re settling into bed with the lights off and checking your phone one last time, before you truly went to sleep, your phone vibrated with a text. 
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[image id: from an unknown number and a series of text messages sent at 00:09 “Today was supper fun!!! Kumiko-chan’s super cute but I’d love to get to know her pretty sibling!! Oh wait it’s hinata! Sorry was that too forward?? 😖😖”]
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𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚢, 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗!
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pwapuri · 3 years
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"After rain"
Okay, I’ve never wrote a fanfic in english but I would like to try. I’m sorry about the mistakes, here we go, a GinTsu x Kontae oneshot. 
_______________
It was a rainy day across Edo. The weather forecast was a storm and the recommendation was to seek shelter. In the Yorozuya, the noise was concentrated in the Otose’s snacks. Kagura and the bar staff were making a mess with the customers who came forward in the late afternoon.
"How is my lucky day if its going to rain? My hair has started to look bad"
Upstairs, Sakata Gintoki remained watching the news along with the prediction of Kestuno Ana who at times seemed to speak to him: "you from Libra with curly hair, today is your lucky day!"
-Excuse me is anyone at home?
From the door, he heard a familiar voice
Upon leaving the cabaret 'Smile', Otae noticed that the rain was starting to fall. She thought that would not be able to get home in time, just when she promised to her brother to come with a treat, beef for the yakiniku. As she had worked during the day was dismissed during the night and could go home. However, the rain would hinder her plans.
-Otae-san? Needing an umbrella?
The voice was that of the Shinsengumi commander. Her stalker gorilla.
-Not your umbrella gorilla
-Ah, too bad. I don't have another one with me. As I was on the way home, I thought of accompanying you...
-Oh for god sake, so why don't you give me the umbrella and go alone? I heard that gorillas look good in the rain
-Otae-san… - he said in a serious and unusual tone- you know I would do it anyway, but today I need to get to the shinsengumi HQ on time, I understand that you don't want to accompany this gorilla, so...
Strangely, the gorilla left without insisting. The first thing the young woman thought was "go with the gorillas". However, they had known each other for so many years, went through so many problems together and even today that without any status they could say that there was a bond between them.
-Well... - Otae interrupted Kondou's farewell - since our path is the same maybe, I may accompany you.
-IT WORKED?
Kondou let his plan slip. Maybe Otae already imagined that it was a plan based on some crappy movie that the gorilla fantasized about, but what harm would it do? Her home was far away and she was tired. In addition, the gorilla knew that at first nastiness she could blow his brains out.
...
-Ah, it's you ... - said the man sitting in the chair with a discouraged tone
-As you can see. Where is everyone? - said the death courtesan Tsukuyo, who entered the room with a bottle of apparently expensive sake wrapped in a bow as well as a box of sweets and some flowers in a small bouquet. She placed the items on the coffee table while entering the yorozuya store. She had been to that place very few times, in fact only once. Before the war against the tendoushuu they were usually the ones who sought her and after it was over, she no longer visited the saviors of yoshiwara.
-What do the winds bring? Who are these things for? Is the business in yoshiwara that bad? going to sell door to door?
-If I were to sell something like this it wouldn't be for a loser like you. These are Hinowa's New Year gifts, she apologizes that she can't come because of physical therapy, the children's otoshidamas are here with the sweets. Where are they?
-They're downstairs, at the bar. Leave it there and they'll take it.
Gintoki's speech was interrupted by thunder followed by the abrupt fall of the heavy rain that started to make a huge noise.
- Damn, it started raining. I need to hurry. -Tsukuyo made the comeback in order to leave
-Where are you going with this rain?
-Come back home.
-I think it is better to wait, I was leaving for the Otose’s bar too but now I’ll have to wait. Gintoki got up and went to the sofa, Tsukuyo who was near the exit door turned again
-It won't hurt to wait, sit here, I won't bite you
Tsukuyo thought twice before accepting, but she heard the doors slamming in the wind and heavy raindrops came along wetting everything; perhaps it would be prudent to wait at least a little while. On the other hand, being alone with Gintoki seemed even more dangerous. It had been literally years since this happened, since the battle at the terminal ended they only met in the smile once and with everyone. They haven't been able to talk since then, this would be a good opportunity.
-Well, maybe I expect the storm to subside.
She sat on the sofa next to Gintoki, the front sofa had a bunny-decorated cover and a series of debris that probably belonged to Kagura and it seemed impolite to move it. Even so, she sat far enough away that she didn't smell so much of Gintoki's male scent that makes her dizzy.
-Well, we haven't been alone like this for a long time. What happened to you in yoshiwara in that time? Although I saw it with my eyes ...
Tsukuyo arranged the tobacco in the kiseru and lit it with a match, puffed the first smoke and began to tell about the small problems she faced for two years.
-Kondou-san, your shoulder is wet.
-Ah! Er. - Kondou couldn't take Otae's concern and immediately blushed - it's okay Otae-san! Getting me wet in that rain with you doesn’t hurt - and he made the face of a romance protagonist with confidence, which only made him look more like an idiot.
-I knew you had read some shoujo and started fantasizing to make this scene.
-Otae-san. I actually read shoujos, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to accompany you anyway.
Otae stopped and thought: of course, she was angry at Kondou-san's constant harassment; she wanted to live in peace with her privacy. Even so she know about the goodness in her pet's heart.
Seeing the commander's shoulder completely wet, Otae passed her right hand under the arm that held the umbrella, thus reducing the distance between the two and allowing the space in the umbrella to increase. Kondou was caught by surprise, his eyes widening when saw Otae-san timidly clinging to his arm, being able to feel her warmth and her tiny hand resting on his haori. He thought of shouting for joy or grabbing the rest of his lover's body in a hug, but he thought better of it, any strange movement and that moment was over, any joke and not only that moment but the rest of his life would pass in front of his eyes. Of all the options he did the right thing, kept silent and blushed his face involuntarily.
-Don't get it wrong gorilla, in case you get the flu I will not accept you in my house or anywhere. Not that I accept normally. -Otae spoke in the tone of threat common to her with the sadistic smile of someone who is not kidding, but the cheeks did not deny that the situation was embarrassing in any way.
-So they didn't come back?
-Not until today, I believe they still exist, they may be waiting for the first opportunity to return but I will not allow it, as soon as it happens again I will have no mercy
-Saying like that even I would be afraid.
As the rain gradually subsided outside, Tsukuyo told Gintoki every detail of the two long years that had happened in Yoshiwara without the presence of the samurai. She told of the countless abused men, the children who could be born in this new era, the renovated tourist spots like Hosen's mansion and the traffickers and mercenaries who defied the power of women.
–How about you? - Tsukuyo changed the tone to a certain melancholy -What the hell happened to you?
- It's a long story, too long. I am not good at summaries, it is better to take the last volumes of Gintama and reread
-It had to do with your master, right?
-Yes and no. I prefer to keep it with me.
-Well, I understand, that's what I would do. I mean, what I tried to do. But you know what happened anyway.
The silence returned and they could hear the rain falling more gently now, wetting the plants, the sidewalk, hitting the roof and the gutter, running down the window glass, making everything around it damp. The noise, although much smaller than when it started, was now unbearable because it was accompanied by the subject that neither of them liked to talk about: the past.
-You said it was light ...- Gintoki broke the silence minutes of Tsukuyo's thoughts that went to the night that Gintoki had fought with Jiraia.
-Light?
-The weight of taking your master ...
She did said that and in the end for Tsukuyo that was what it felt like, the weight of her master who was so giant and strong in the end had become light. All because she became a person strong enough for that.
- It wasn't my case. - Gintoki said thinking to himself about Takasugi's death and goodbye to Shouyou - But then, when it was over, that's where I understood why lightness. I think I was the one who got light after all. It feels like I've carried that weight my whole life.
-It seems so. But regardless of what happened in the past, you managed to carry not only that but all of us together. So when you laugh, we will laugh with you, when you cry we will cry even more with you. Just don't pretend to be a stranger again, don't be mean.
-It seems like something I said to someone a long time ago - he said with a slight smile
-Gintoki - interrupted Tsukuyo in a serious tone, with teary eyes - I know that maybe we are a weight, but, please ... don't disappear. We just need to be on your side, I just need you to be here. I ... I mean, we'll be here to support your nose when you cry. So ...- and in the end who started to cry was the courtesan of death, two tears leaked from her face that was now turned in the opposite direction of Gintoki, so he would not see her face flushed with sincerity along with the sadness of that request that it was choking on her throat for so long.
Gintoki remembered when he said that he would support that woman's runny nose when she cried, that he would make a face worse than hers if that happened. He couldn't see her face but he knew it was time to offer his shoulder and so he unconsciously moved towards her, the movement caught her eye and made her turn to follow the man who was approaching subtly. Gintoki hugged her slowly, holding only one hand up to her back and squeezing a little. He could feel the girl's tears wetting a little of her shirt and neck.
Tsukuyo who was taken by surprise kept her hand down, felt the warmth of Gintoki and his scent of curly hair shampoo, it was simple but it reminded her of how strong he was, made her think how safe she was in those arms. Gradually, she got used to that strong body that embraced her, she felt the big and strong hand on her back squeezing and descending, pulling her body even closer. She felt the man's deep breath next to the heat it transmitted and so, the woman raised her right hand and returned the hug, passing over the broad back that Gintoki had and squeezing, praying that she could belong to him just for that moment.
-Tsukuyo - the samurai breathed deeply, resting on the courtesan's shoulders, causing an instant shiver - I'm sorry.
Gintoki would like to apologize to everyone. He did not think in what order these excuses would be, even though he knew that he did nothing wrong, he wanted to keep everyone away because of the danger; He was afraid of losing any of them. But when he saw Tsukuyo he remembered why he should ask for forgiveness. He ended up not acting as he believed, he didn't let others participate of his life, he didn't let anyone help him. He then thought to himself, smelling the innumerable female perfumes of yoshiwara mixed with the tobacco that the kiseru produced, that if he could lessen their suffering at least a little, if he could ease the sadness of all his friends he would do. ..and the person who came to remind him to do this was one of those who needed him most, she was someone who never asked for anything in return for his company. The woman for whom Gintoki felt an attraction that had not changed over time, her body and her lines were in front of him, with the hand that hugged he also felt the waist well marked, against the chest he felt the heat and the shape of the breasts, on his shoulders he felt that woman's small but strong hand. At the same time, he remembered that he couldn't make her happy, even with his body wanting her so bad.
Tsukuyo in other hand felt her heart explode, even after so long it was him, no matter how, he was the one that she loved. She didn't ask for anything in return for that love, just by knowing he was okay it was enough. She wished that moment would last for eternity, that she would merge with him and live there. She wanted to feel his breath with each oxygen exchange; she wanted to keep that smell for the rest of her life. First, she wanted to kiss him, she wanted him to love her right there on that couch; she wanted this dream not to end. She could not fight that feeling only reinforced when they met.
The two began to contour each other's body with the hand they embraced. Gintoki sank his hand deeper and deeper into Tsukuyo's curve until he reached her hip, the other arm that had previously been in the white kimono showed up and took the other part of the courtesan's back up to her head and taking possession of her body. He couldn't avoid to thinking about the danger that was there in that room, but his blood began to flow and the heartbeat accelerated, he remembered when he went to bed with the courtesans during the war and knew that state, things would not end  well. Tsukuyo also started to lose control and sank her breath into Gintoki's neck that stood on end; her left hand was now in his curly hair, squeezing it gently in the urgency of belonging while her right hand went through the back muscles making it clear the will to rip that black shirt. With both noses and mouth exhaling hot air on each other's necks and rubbing against each other, with eyes closed and breathing deeply. The desire was now the biggest noise in the room.
...
Kondou felt the rain tightening, accelerated his steps but enough so that Otae could keep up.
-Kondou-san, I think we should stop for a while.
-If we stop, it may not be on time.
-I think I am slowing you down, please go ahead.
-No, please! I will not leave you here in this rain.
-Well, then there's no way.
They stopped under the eaves of a cafe. Kondou closed the umbrella while Otae removed the water droplets from his yukata.
-Who would say that in Edo it would rain like that again.
-Again? - Otae said curiously
-It looks like that day when I left Edo, when you loaned me the umbrella. You probably don't remember ... I always thought about when I could return that gesture, so much happened later and even if the normal had returned I had no hope, after all I was the stalker anyway, there was no reason for me to show up and you want to follow me.
Kondou turned around smiling gently, expressing no second intention or hysterical tone.
-But apparently, miracles do happen. Maybe that's why it's raining today.
Otae was not carried away by the gorilla's words; she knew too well that he was fantasize about the beginning of a romance. But she knew there, from her experience with men, that Kondou-san was being sincere and above all kind. That was why she hates him, such a kind man had decadence as his destiny. Moreover, that's why she adores him, only such a kind man was able to love her that way.
-I already said there is no miracle. I just thought it prudent to accompany the pet gorilla ... and by the way, you got wet and haven't dried yourself yet.
Otae took her handkerchief from her pocket and passed the gorilla's shoulder that made the happiest face in the world. Perhaps it was not a miracle at all, nor was it something of fate. Just a coincidence, a happy coincidence. The Shinsengumi commander thought to himself that this rain could last forever, that that moment could never end. You would get wet forever in that rain.
-Ah, Kondo-san, the rain is already passing!
-...
-Kondou-san?
-Sis, the rain has not passed. Now it's a rain of blood that started ...
Blood came out of Kondou-san's buttocks thanks to the killing blow that Shinpachi took with his sword from the lake toya. Shinpachi witnessed the two there at the eaves and soon understood: the gorilla attacked again. It was up to the brother complex to speak up and defend the honor of the Shimura.
-Ah! Kondou-san, it looks like Shin-chan has finally caught me up, so I'm going with him. See you later gorilla.
-Goodbye Kondou-san.
Therefore, the gorilla's sweet illusion lasted a rain and ended with a bokuto tucked into his ‘kestuno ana’. Which for him was enough to dream the rest of those days with his beloved Otae.
Delirious and rolling eyes, feeling their breathing increasingly wheezy and close to each other's faces, when their noses brushed their faces looking for their mouths along the cheekbones, the world stopped at Yorozuya. There were two people there who knew that they would not be together and become a family, dying next to each other, but what could they do with the feeling that was left?. One was the body and the other the heart. A combination that would never work. Without hearing the world outside as they almost became one in that embrace, the front door slamming suddenly interrupted them.
-Gin-chan, Catherine's old gag wants to know if you're not going to show up because if you're not she’s going to eat your share...
Gintoki and Tsukuyo were each at the end of the sofa now, the separation was as fast as possible. Gintoki gave a fake laugh as well as Tsukuyo, as if they had been in conversation for a long time, but the faces red as a tomato did not deny the previous scene.
-Tsukki !! you are here! Is everything all right?
-Oh! Kagura! It’s been a while! Everything is fine, I've just arrived, I came to leave these gifts from Hinowa. Sweets are for you eat as you please. Seita misses you, you could visit us ... -Tsukuyo started to speak trying to cool the blood and forget Gintoki's breath and smell
-Tsukki, is everything okay? Hey Gin-chan, you didn't do anything to her, did you?
-How would I do anything? Didn't you hear what she said? That she just arrived?
-Good! This is my home and my establishment, now I’m the president, any lack of respect with my customers is unforgivable!
-YOU SELF HAS BEEN DECLARED PRESIDENT! NOBODY CHOSEN YOU
-AND SINCE WHEN THAT’S HOW IT WORK? THIS IS NOT A COUNTRY, IT IS A COMPANY. BUT IF YOU WANT TO VOTE YOU CAN VOTE, YOU WILL LOSE IN ANYWAY
Tsukuyo completely forgot what had happened, forgot the two years that they spent away from each other and could remember why Gintoki was so special, why he was a man who would not make a family. He already had one, without wanting to use a title for it, those were the people he fought for and she was naturally part of that family.
-Gintoki, Kagura, I'll be back with more time. The rain has subsided and I need to get back to work.
-But Tsukki you didn't even stay! Wait until the rain passes
-It's okay, I really need to go.
So she went to the door, put on her boots without looking back, without saying goodbye, without facing the man she loved again. She thought to herself: the rain had finally stopped.
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pinkanonwrites · 4 years
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Road Trip
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Hi everyone! This is my piece for the Haikyuu Creations ‘Home Sweet Home’ Collab event! If you want to check out the rest of these amazing writers, here’s the masterlist! I chose Hinata, of course!
"Are you sure you aren't forgetting anything?"
"Positive!"
"You have all those souvenirs you bought for Natsu?"
"In the trunk!"
"Toothbrush?"
"In my suitcase!"
"... Volleyball?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Shouyou laughed as he loaded your shiny suitcase into the back of your small car, wedging it in alongside his own travel-battered one. "I'm gonna meet up with whoever else is in town for a game, of course we'll need a volleyball!"
"I'm sure Tanaka would have one to spare. Or a dozen." As he clambered behind the wheel you leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Do you really think they're gonna like me?"
You and Hinata had taken many first steps together up until this point, but first time meeting the family for the holidays? That was a big one. Of course Shouyou was optimistic, as per usual, but you couldn't help the twisting anxiety that coiled around in your gut. 
It certainly didn't help that you had nearly a 4 hour drive there to let your nervousness fester. Delightful.
"Of course they'll like you! Kageyama likes you!"
"That's a bold claim, Sho."
As the car revved to life he gave you another one of those sun-blinding smiles that turned your knees to jelly in the best possible way.
"Trust me, he does! And mom and Natsu will love you too, I promise."
Despite your nerves you couldn't help but smile back. It was one of Hinata's greatest talents not volleyball-related, his ability to drive the worry from your mind with a few choice words and a well-placed grin.
"Now, what's on the radio for today, DJ?"
You rolled your eyes and plugged the AUX cord into your headphone jack. "Well, no podcasts, because if you crash the car while having a laughing fit I swear to God I will haunt you for the rest of your days."
Shouyou chose only to respond to your veiled threat by sticking out his tongue and making a fart sound at you, laughing when you did it back. As you aimlessly scrolled through your music and Shouyou pulled out onto the main road, your mind wandered. Funny how sticking your tongues out at each other had gone from something so mundane, so childish, to something that had made you innumerably happy.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The first time you met Shouyou the two of you were seated across from each other in a crowded airport, air thick with tension and irritation by hour four of your plane's six hour delay. You had done your best to keep yourself calm, headphones firmly over your ears and doing your absolute damndest to keep the frustration from boiling over.
 You were exhausted. 
You were sore.
You wanted to go home 
And across from you, on the opposite bench, a grown-ass man was making faces at you.
He was sitting with a duffel bag tucked between his legs and every so often, when you weren't looking, you could swear he was sticking his tongue out at you. Like a child.
You did your best to ignore him, huffing softly as you stated down at your phone screen. But you could see him, out of the corner of your eye, still moving about, still pulling ridiculous faces. With a tank you tugged both headphones out of your ears, irritation bubbling over into a boil.
"Just what are you trying to-?"
Before you could even finish your sentence you were cut off by a loud giggling over your shoulder. A little boy was standing on the seat behind you, peering over the backrest of the bench. As his mother suddenly tugged him away the redhead smiled and waved, watching them walk off until they were out of sight. Then, with his chin tucked in embarrassment, Hinata Shouyou turned his attention back to you and gave you that blinding, megawatt smile.
"Sorry!"
And, well, how could you not fall a bit in love with him right then and there? 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Blue slugbug, no backs!"
"Hey! Keep your eyes on the road, dummy!" You laughed and grabbed Shouyou's fist, pushing his hand back onto the steering wheel. He reached out to bump you again as soon as you pulled your hand away, giggling all the while. "How much longer?"
"Two and a half hours."
"Ughhhh…" Slumping dramatically back into your seat, you peered at him from the corner of your eye. "Do you remember when we first met?"
"Uwah! Don't remind me! You were so scary…"
"Scary?!"
"Your eyebrows we're all scrunched and I thought you were gonna yell at me! That was scary!" His expression betrayed his fake-terrified tone, and you could tell he was struggling to hide his grin. "You can take a nap if you want! It'll be like the plane."
"Stooooop, it's so embarrassing! I told you not to mention that!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
If nearly snapping at the handsome stranger (who had quickly and eagerly introduced himself to you as Hinata) hadn't been uncomfortable enough, you had gone from chatting casually with him during your layover to being squished next to him in the window seat of the plane for another 3 hours more.
Not that you minded that much. Like you said, he was handsome, and wonderfully easy to talk to. You had just been angling for a nice nap for the duration of your flight, and now it felt way too vulnerable. What if you snored? What if you drooled all over yourself?
"Want some pretzels?"
Hinata quickly pulled your attention back with a rustle of a plastic bag. Nodding, you stifled a yawn and helped yourself to a handful in hopes that having something to munch on would stave off your exhaustion.
"Thanks."
"No problem!"
You crunched down on a pretzel, praying your eyelids weren't drooping as much as they felt like they were.
"So what happened after you lost your wallet?"
"Oh! Well, I was moping around for a bit, but it ended up being okay! I ran into the Grand King- he's on the national Argentina team and we knew each other in high school and he was crazy strong, like bwaaaaahh, and he said that he was in Rio for practice…"
Despite his excitability Hinata had a deceptively soothing voice, and as he rambled you couldn't help but let your eyes slide shut for just a moment, focusing all your attention on the pitches and dips in his storytelling. Had anyone ever told him what a nice voice he had? He smelled nice too, kinda spicy and warm like cinnamon…
"Umm, sorry, are you awake? We just landed."
What.
What.
You snapped to attention, disoriented. You had just closed your eyes for a second, just a second, and now the flight was over? You rubbed your cheek that had been pressed against soft warmth for the duration of the flight, the indent of a fabric seam pushed into your skin.
You'd fallen asleep on his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay! It's okay! I was probably talking a bunch anyway, right?"
"No! I wanted to listen! You just have a really nice voice!"
Oops. Well, at least now you both seemed flustered. Hinata's cheeks were glowing, and he was fumbling over his response as he pulled on the cuffs of his jacket. Damnit, how could he be so cute?
"Here, let me get your bag for you."
He insisted on hauling your carry-on off the plane for you, juggling it and his duffel with ease as you stepped into the breezeway. People filtered out around the two of you as you awkwardly took your carry-on from him.
"Thank you so much."
"No problem! Hope you can get home without any more delays."
 In just a few moments you'd be headed off your separate ways, disappearing into Tokyo. You'd probably never meet again.
"Hah, yeah I hope so. It was nice meeting you."
"You too!... I, uh, it was fun!"
9.3 million people, and one you, and one Hinata Shouyou. He turned the slightest bit, about to step off into the crowd. Your mouth made the call for you before your brain could catch up.
"Do you wanna get a coffee with me?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Wakey wakey, sleepyhead."
Shouyou's hand was resting on top of your head, gently wiggling you back and forth. Your pathetic attempts to swat him off and sit yourself back upright were met only with another peal of his cheery laughter.
"How much longer?"
"About twenty minutes! I wanna show you some cool places on the way there!"
"Sorry I slept the whole time, Sho."
"Don't worry! There wasn't much but traffic. And some sick guitar solos."
You chuckled, pulling the mirror down to adjust your sleep-tousled hair. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Shouyou looking at you, and you were ready to wheel on him and stick your tongue out again.
But he wasn't making faces at you this time. No, instead he was just watching, face soft with an expression of incredible, incredible fondness.
"I love you, Shouyou."
You couldn't leave him completely off the hook. And besides, he always turned a brilliant shade of red whenever you told him so directly. This time was no different, heat blooming up his cheeks and to the tips of his ears.
"I love you too!... Uwahh, Kageyama's gonna see me all red now! You did that on purpose!"
"Maybe.~"
"So mean!"
He quickly turned his attention back to the lazy country roads you were rolling through, excitedly pointing out familiar shops and hangouts from his high school years, faintest hints of red still high on his cheeks. You just watched him fondly, his brilliantly bright expressions, his eager, almost nervous tone.
Yeah, you didn't have any reason to be worried. After all, it was exciting to finally be meeting the other people who love Hinata just as much as you did.
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viktory-arts · 3 years
Text
The Stars in the Early Morning Sky
Read here on Ao3
Read more of my works here
The wind was cold against Shouyou’s cheeks as he rode on his bike quickly down the mountain to Karasuno High School. It almost hurt as the chill forcefully brushed against his face, sharp and with the type of sting that only the cold could do. His sports bag and backpack was growing heavier on his back with the tiredness that was fluidly coursing through his body. He had been up into the early hours of the morning thinking. Thinking about hands that were usually rough and forceful that would turn soft and gentle against his face, trailing down to his neck and settling themselves on the gentle curves of his hips. Thinking of deep blue eyes that would go from angry to fond to filled with need and--
Shouyou’s cheeks flamed red for a reason other than the chill of the early morning and he shook his head rapidly, training his eyes directly ahead. He squeezed the handlebars of his bike, trying to ground himself before he flew into orbit out of embarrassment. He bit the inside of his cheek.
‘You’ve had this crush for months! You should have a better handle on it by now!’ He scolded himself in his head, stopping at the stop sign that signaled five more minutes till he arrived at the school. After checking both ways for cars and seeing none, he continued on his way. Shouyou knew that he was preaching to the choir when he said that to himself; he wasn’t going to just stop with the thoughts. Even worse, the longer Shouyou had the crush (he would not admit that it was probably more than just a crush at this point) the worse he got at holding the lovey-dovey thoughts at bay. Lovey-dovey thoughts about Kageyama no less. His rival and his best friend. Who, Shouyou admitted, was probably straight and had no qualms about dropping Shouyou as soon as he found out what a creep he was. 
Sighing, Shouyou watched the puff of steam that he exuded from his mouth dissipate into thin air as he tried to get a grip on himself. He tried not to pity himself or his… situation when it came to Kageyama. There were plenty of people who fell in love with their best friends and it was never reciprocated. And Shouyou knew that him and Kageyama would fall into that category point blank. No matter how much Shouyou wanted it to be true, Kageyama just wasn’t going to love Shouyou like he loved him. That was okay, the redhead tried to tell himself every time the thought came up, he would be satisfied with Kageyama just being his friend and loving him platonically. 
(He wouldn’t be satisfied.)
Rounding the final corner before he came upon Karasuno, Shouyou slowed down and hopped off his bike, putting it in the bike rack and shifting the bags on his shoulders to be more comfortable. His sneakers weren’t warding off the cold very well, so his feet and legs were cold.
‘Hopefully they’ll have the heat fixed in the gym today’, he mused as he looked up at the sky, watching the clouds grazing gently with the harsh wind. He jogged to the clubroom, trying to warm himself up before he got into the gym so his joints wouldn’t be stiff for practice. He was surprised to see Kageyama already there, obviously waiting for someone to unlock the door.
(Shouyou tried not to jump off the walls with the warmth that filled his heart at the prospect of Kageyama knowing that Shouyou would be the one who opened the door for him since he was the one entrusted with the key-- waiting on him.)
Shouyou sped up his jog pace, Kageyama hearing the light pounding of his feet and looking up. His expression didn’t change dramatically, like turning from his resting frown into a smile or anything, but Shouyou thought that his eyes may have softened. But it was hard to tell in the faint light of the early morning with the sun just barely peeking over the horizon, even from the top of the mountain when Shouyou had biked there. The redhead gave the other serious teen a bright smile and Kageyama grunted in response. 
“How long were you waiting here?” Shouyou asked as he hopped into Kageyama’s space to unlock the door to the clubroom. The taller teen shrugged, shifting his gym bag on his shoulder, his eyes averted. Shouyou bit the inside of his cheek, hands shaking from the cold.
“You could’ve texted me if you wanted to be here earlier, you know I’d respond!” The redhead scolded lightly as the door clicked open. “I don’t want m-- Karasuno’s-- setter to catch a cold for a stupid reason.” Shouyou internally begged that Kageyama didn’t notice the almost slip-up. Thankfully, Kageyama was as clueless as usual and he just shrugged again, which was infuriating in its own right. 
“Don’t just shrug at me,” Shouyou narrowed his eyes and Kageyama just shoved past the short redhead, just to start stripping off his layers-- which, wow. Shouyou was not strong enough for this. Heat rushed to his cheeks and he quickly slammed the door shut.
“I hadn’t even closed the door yet, Pervy-yama! What if someone saw you stripping?” Kageyama raised a singular dark brow and tilted his head towards the electronic clock hanging on the wall.
“At five-thirty in the morning?” His blunt voice asked with a hint of smugness and Shouyou just scowled in return. He went over to Kageyama and flicked his (thankfully clothed) chest. 
“Don’t be such an asshole,” the redhead chastised. “How you get so many girls confessing and talking to and about you is beyond me when you’re such a douche.” Shouyou rolled his eyes. ‘Yes I know I’m a hypocrite, universe. Don’t point it out.’ The first year shrugged off his sweatshirt and pulled out his practice t-shirt and jersey. As he put them on, Shouyou heard a muffled response due to his head being trapped in the confines of his shirt. He quickly pulled the shirt over his head and gave Kageyama a questioning look.
“What’d you say?” He questioned and Kageyama mumbled it so quietly that the short redhead couldn’t hear it. Shouyou narrowed his brown eyes at the taller teen.
“What? You’ve gotta say it louder--”
“I said, I don’t know why girls confess to me, either,” Kageyama growled and Shouyou’s shoulders went slack, as did his jaw slightly in disbelief. Kageyama seemed to take that as a sign to continue, and continue he did.
“Fuck. Look, I know I’m an asshole and that I’m selfish. That I don’t… read situations right and that I’m too intense--” Kageyama was forcefully stopped when Shouyou slapped his shoulder. His eyes were intense and Kageyama gulped, almost not enough to be noticeable but Shouyou saw it and powered on.
“Kageyama-kun,” he started, his voice careful but demanding, “what the hell are you on?” Kageyama blinked and opened his mouth to respond but Shouyou just shook his head. The redhead was now fired up and just teeny bit pissed off that his crush didn’t see how fucking attractive he was. He took a deep breath and looked up into deep blue eyes that were growing more and more pronounced as his cheeks turned a rosy red color. 
“You are an asshole. And an idiot.” Shouyou stated simply and Kageyama’s eyes narrowed, his frown taking over full-force.
“Are you trying to make me feel bad--”
“No, you dumbass. I’m saying that yes, you are an asshole. But you’re an attractive asshole!” Kageyama’s eyes widened, but Shouyou soldiered on.
“Wait--”
“You are the stupidest, dumbest, dorkiest, hottest boy I know! You’re so… tall and you’ve got that assholeish persona but you’re actually a freaking nerd! You garden.” Shouyou stressed, waving his arms around as he did so. Kageyama’s face was turning more and more red the longer the redhead went on. ‘What am I doing? This is…’ Shouyou ignored the thought, continuing his tirade without pause.
“Wait Hinata--”
“And! You are so…” Shouyou came up at a loss for words, so he just extended his arms out. “You are just so gwah! You make me feel so gwahh and--” Shouyou was silenced with a hand over his mouth. He looked up into the dark blue eyes of the other teen and realized what he had said. Shouyou did the only thing he could think of.
“The hell? Did you just lick me?” Kageyama lifted his hand off of the other’s mouth and Shouyou took the chance to make a break for it. 
“Oh no you don’t,” Kageyama grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping the teen from escaping with what little dignity he had left. Shouyou struggled in it uselessly. He couldn’t help thinking that his hands were warm against his skin, almost burning him where the other touched his arm. He hated the feeling. He wanted more. 
“Let me go, dumbass!” Shouyou shouted and Kageyama retaliated by strengthening his grip. He then grabbed the redhead’s other arm and made Shouyou turn towards him, which the shorter teen both loved and hated. 
“Please don’t kill me.” He begged when he saw just how pissed Kageyama was when he was forcefully faced toward him. He struggled against the grip for a minute, but stopped once he realized how useless it was.
‘Here lies Hinata Shouyou, killed by his crush after confessing.’ Shouyou thought morbidly. He was taken out of his thoughts by a low voice that he couldn’t crave enough of. 
“What do you mean I make you feel all ‘gwah’?” Kageyama asked carefully and Shouyou blinked. That wasn’t quite what he had been expecting. Shouyou pursed his lips, thinking about what he was going to say with trepidation. 
‘It’s not like he doesn’t already know… Here goes nothing.’
“It means I like you,” he said. “Dumbass.” He added for good measure. ‘Like’ wasn’t exactly the word Shouyou would use to describe how he felt, but he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself, never mind Kageyama. Shouyou licked his lips, nervousness filling every corner of his body. 
The other teen’s face went through a bunch of expressions that Shouyou couldn’t even begin to decipher. He looked constipated for most of them, but that didn’t mean much. He always looked like he was constipated when there were emotions involved. The thought brought some familiarity to the situation. 
“You…” Kageyama trailed off, his grip never slackening. “You… like me?” He sounded breathless. Shouyou nodded, not daring to open his mouth, not with how much he had let loose today. He waited for what Kageyama was going to say next. 
“You mean that I’ve been worrying about this for nothing?!” Kageyama suddenly roared and Shouyou had barely the wits to respond.
“What-- mmph!” 
Warm and chapped lips were suddenly against his own. They were rough but somehow tentative and caring as the kiss deepened. Shouyou's eyes finally slid shut and he wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s middle, drinking in the warmth of the boy next to him. The kiss wasn’t good in the traditional sense; their teeth clacked together sometimes and it was much wetter than it needed to be, but Kageyama tasted like milk and mint toothpaste and it was kind of grossly perfect. 
Eventually, they had to break the kiss up, both of them bereft of breath and gasping for air. Shouyou still felt the ghost of Kageyama’s passion on his lips.
After a few moments of silence besides their raspy breaths, Shouyou cleared his throat and slid his hands into Kageyama’s. 
“I’m assuming you like me too?” He asked and Kageyama scoffed, his cheeks flushed a bright cherry red. His hands were as clammy as Shouyou’s, which made the redhead feel better about all of the events that had happened.
“If you don’t get it, you’re the dumbass.” Kageyama rumbled out lowly and Shouyou just smiled sunnily. He stood on his tiptoes and kissed Kageyama’s blushing cheeks. 
“I think I get it.” Shouyou said softly and somehow, even in the ugly fluorescent lights, Kageyama was beautiful. With his cheeks colored red and his eyes fond, it was everything Shouyou had wanted and more. 
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tamcitrus · 4 years
Text
10 years later.
pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x g/n reader.
genre: angst, aged up characters
word count: 2K ~
prompt: It had been 10 years since your main character last saw their biggest crush. How they both ended up in the same city away from their hometowns makes no sense to them. How do they react and how does the story unfold?
a/n: first time using the prompt of the week! @kingkags I hope you're up for some angst 🌈 and @loneveenas I hope you like what I come up for your potw! 💕
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It started with you coming back from abroad after getting your degree. You were outside your country for many years. After your parents' divorce and your break up with some foreign guy, you decided to come back home with your mom. You were in contact with your best friend in Tokyo and you meet her boyfriend, Hinata Shouyou.
"Come on, you have to come with me, you'll have fun and Shou has a lot of hot friends! Just for a while, if you're not vibing with it we can leave. You're sleeping here tonight anyways, so..." she said.
"Will there be alcohol?"
"Yeah, it's a party! They reserved a little restaurant, so it'll be just the team and their friends."
"Ok then we go," you agreed.
And later, you were happy you did.
You met Hinata as soon as you arrived.
"Order whatever you want, y/n! The drinks are on the team!" Hinata said and then he took his girlfriend away.
You walked to the bar and ordered a beer, watching everyone talk and dance. Hinata really had some handsome teammates. Maybe, with a bit of alcohol running through your system, you could talk to one of them.
"I'll take a beer, please 'Samu!" a man said by your side to a guy who seemed to be the bartender.
His voice was familiar. You looked aside to see the guy and gasped. This… couldn't be.
And then, the biggest golden eyes looked at you, and after a minute they showed recognition. And you remembered him too.
"Bokuto-kun?" you asked, just in case your memory betrayed you.
"Y/n? Oh my god, it's you!" he was as loud as you remembered him.
He was going to hug you but stopped to look at you and check if you were ok with it. You smiled at him and tied your arms around his neck. He hugged you tight from your waist.
"I can't believe you're here! How long it's been? Five years?"
"Like ten actually," you laughed. "I… do you play with Hinata?"
"Yeah! Do you know him?" he let you go.
"His girlfriend is my best friend, they invited me," you explained.
“That’s crazy! We live in a small world, right? Did you see the game?”
“No, sorry,” you laughed. “We just got here. But it’s great to see you’re a pro now, it really suits you.”
He guided you to an empty table and told you about how he became pro and how some of his teammates were his rivals back at high school. You told him about your years abroad, and how you decided to come back after a failed relationship.
“Are you living in our old neighborhood?” he said.
“No, we're here in the big city now.”
“Hey hey, Bokkun, we were looking for you! We'll play beer pong, are you in?" a blond guy interrupted your talk. "How about you? Wanna play...?"
"I'm y/n. And yes, I'd like to play," you smiled.
"He's Miya Atsumu. Tsumu this is y/n, an old friend!" Bokuto introduced you to his teammate.
He shook your hand and smiled at you. Then you followed him to the group that was playing.
A two hours and a lot of drinks later, you were drunk. Your friend found you again, sitting in a couch and laughing with Bokuto and Atsumu. She sat by your side to talk to you in the ear. Hinata was holding her hand, still standing.
"Hey, I'm gonna get going, I have something to do," she told you and you laughed.
You were too drunk to think straight and you slowly understood her words.
"Are you ditching me? Sakura?" you said, a bit louder than you intended.
"I can take you to her house later!" a smiling Bokuto offered and then he winked at Hinata.
"That's great, Shouyou will text you my address! Thanks, Bokuto-san! See you later, babe!"
And with a kiss on your cheek your friend left you there. You wanted to say something else but the alcohol in your system didn't allowed you to.
"You can crush in my place, if you want," Bokuto sit closer to you once Atsumu got up to talk to someone. "I don't think they'll end their thing soon, Hinata has a lot of stamina," he laughed.
You nodded and try to get up. Bokuto laughed when you almost trip with your own feet and grabbed your arm to keep you steady.
"Ok, maybe we can get going too, what do you think?"
"Are you sure? I don't want to bust your celebration," you pouted.
"I'm sure, yeah, I'm tired anyway. I'll text Hinata so your friend won't worry, ok? I'mma go say goodbye to the boys and be right back with you!"
He was still the same caring friend from ten years ago. It made your stomach to feel butterflies.
You sat on a chair near the door and you waited for him to come back. You texted Sakura, or at least you tried to, you'll check it in the morning. Bokuto was back in a few minutes and he guided you to his car. The trip was silent but you appreciated it. The cold wind of the night sober you up a bit.
"Thank you for inviting me, Bokuto," you said when you arrived. "You're probably the only person I trust in this city besides Sakura," you laughed.
"No problem. It was crazy to see you there today. Maybe we can finish our talk in the morning," he smiled.He signaled you to wait a minute and you sat on his couch.
He had a nice apartment, there was books everywhere and weights among other training stuff. You didn't remember he was a fan of books in the past.
Bokuto was back, changed, and offered you some clothes for you to change too.
"There's my bedroom, you have a bathroom inside and if you need anything else, I'll be in the couch."
"I can't come back after a decade and take your bed. I'll sleep in the couch."
"Y/n, you had too much alcohol to sleep in a tiny couch. You don't want your body aching with your head tomorrow, trust me," he laughed. "Please, use my bed."
"Ok but if you're uncomfortable, let me know," you said.
You really wanted to stay awake and keep talking to him, but your body thought otherwise. As soon as you got changed and hit the king size bed, you were out.
-
The next morning you woke up with a horrible headache and the smell of coffee dragging you to consciousness. Bokuto was humming to some pop song that was playing in a low volume.
"Good morning," you said after cleaning yourself up and walking outside the room.
"Hey, y/n, good morning! Do you have a headache? I don't have any medicine for it but I can drive you to your friend's place and we can get some in the way," he was turned with your back at you.
It was surreal. He was there, your childhood best friend, your biggest crush ever, the same you remembered him from many years ago: friendly, selfless, funny, the same black and grey wild hair. And somehow he was even more handsome now.
"I can take the bus there, don't worry about it. Do you need help?"
"All done!" he walked to the table with a tray with two coffees and cookies.
"We can go out next time and I'll pay, in return for last night," you said. "Well, if you want…"
"I have a few free days this week so I'll take your offer," he smiled.
The breakfast was for catching up, again. You felt you could talk to him about your years without seeing each other forever. He talked to you about high school after you left, volleyball and his pro career. And you exchanged numbers. Then, he drove you to Sakura's place. Hinata was still there so they left together.
"I can't believe you left me there last night," you said to your friend when you were alone.
"Hinata told me you and Bokuto knew each other, so I thought you'd be fine, I wasn't gonna leave you with some stranger!" she excused. "And you left with him! What happened?"
"Nothing happened, I was drunk…"
-
Bokuto texted you later that week and you met again on his free day for dinner.
"Life's pretty much the same but sometimes people recognizes me or stops me in the streets now, that's crazy," he laughed. "What about you?"
"Nothing that interesting. I got my business degree in England and I'm working at my mom's company for now, until I can use my degree here," you took a sip of your wine.
"And your failed relationship?"
"Oh, I thought he was a good guy but it turned out he wasn't," you faked a smile. "I wouldn't say I was in love but I cared about that idiot."
"That's a shame, you were a great person when you lived here and I bet you're even better now," he commented.
"Thanks, Bokuto," you blushed.
I shouldn't let my hopes up, you thought. Surely he has someone in his life after all this time. I shouldn't revive an old feeling.
"Shit, sorry, I have to get this," he said when his phone rang.
"No problem, I'll ask for the dessert while you talk," you smiled and he nodded at you.
-
You saw each other several times the next two weeks. Every talk, every text, every meeting you had reminded you why you were in love with him. Maybe you never really got over him. Maybe, deep inside, you still loved him.
"I'd say you go for it!" Sakura told you one day. "I never heard that he had a partner and, come on, how could you not brag if you were dating someone like him? We should've seen a picture or something."
"I don't think Hinata would be happy to hear you say that," you laughed and tried to avoid the topic.
"Come on, y/n. You're amazing and he seems to be interested to rebuild your friendship after a decade. Shoot your shot, my friend, don't let the opportunity vanish again."
You sighed and kept drinking with your friend. Maybe next time, you thought.
-
A week later, you were at Bokuto's place again, having "the afternoon english tea" as he said. You even got him some blends to try.
"You did this every day when you were abroad?" he asked.
"No, not always. I tried to keep my japanese traditions too," you smiled at him.
You watched a movie and shared silly comments in between. The sun was going down when it ended.
"Do you want to order a pizza?" he asked.
"Yeah, that'd be cool," you agreed.
This is it. Now or never.
"Can I talk to you about something? When you finish the call," you said and he nodded.
He grabbed his phone and walked to the fridge to get the number from his favorite pizza shop. Just before he dialed, the doorbell rang. He walked to the door and gasped after he opened it.
"Akaashi!" he sounded happy.
You leaned back to look at the door and saw something that maybe you shouldn't have seen. They were kissing. It was quick and innocent but it was a kiss. You looked at the tv again.
"Y/n is here!" Bokuto said and they were walking inside. "I told you about them, remember?"
"Yes and you texted me about them too," Akaashi softly laughed. He had luggage with him and he left it by the door.
"Y/n, he's Akaashi Keiji. Do you remember him? He was in first year, you met him before you left," Koutaro introduced you.
"Yes, I do, you were Bokuto's teammate! It's nice to see you, Akaashi-kun," you smiled.
"Nice to see you're back, y/n-san. Bokuto told me that you happened to meet at a party, that's a huge coincidence. It sounds like fate."
"I was about to order pizza, did you eat something?" Bokuto asked from the kitchen.
"No but pizza sounds good," he smiled. Then he disappeared inside Bokuto's room.
Fate. Yeah, it was laughing at your expense.
"He looks tired, maybe I should go," you said when you heard the shower.
"It's ok, you can stay!" Bokuto turned around to look at you. "Are you ok, y/n?" he saw your weird expression.
"I have to go, sorry," you grabbed your stuff and walked to the door.
He followed you outside after he told Akaashi he was going out for a second.
"What's wrong?" he asked again.
"I… I'm sorry. I didn't know…" you struggled to explain.
"Is this about Akaashi?"
"No- uhm, well, not exactly. It doesn't matter," you were standing at the entrance of his little house.
"I'm sorry. I should've told you…" he figured out by himself. "We don't… we can't make it super public, he's a writer and his agent…"
"No, it's fine, you don't have to explain. I never asked," you laughed. "Akaashi is a perfect fit for you."
"Yeah, he's… awesome. You're awesome too, I mean it," he hugged you.
"Thanks, Bokuto. And I'm happy for you."
You separated from him and smiled.
"Text me when you have a free day, I'll invite you both to eat," you kissed his cheek. "See you later."
-
You went to Sakura's apartment that night. After a bottle of wine, you were able to tell her what happened.
"His partner was on a trip. And then… they arrived with me there. And I was about to… I was gonna tell Bokuto maybe I never got over him… and then he was kissing someone…"
"I'm sorry, I was the one that told you to go for it," Sakura felt guilty.
"Nah, that's fine. I… it's been 10 fucking years, there's no way he wouldn't have someone. He's the perfect guy," you laughed.
"Ok, so... There's this guy. Shouyou's teammate…"
"I don't know if I'm interested…"
"Atsumu, that's his name. Shou told me he asked about you the other day, he wants your number."
"Well, tell Hinata that he can give Atsumu my number," you agreed.
"Just have some fun and you'll get over it. Besides, he's still your friend, right?"
"Yeah, he is."
81 notes · View notes
caxsthetic · 4 years
Text
Homesick
Oikawa Tooru x F!Reader
The scariest thing in life is when you get lost, and you don't have a home to come back to.
Part 1 > Pt. 2
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Knock knock knock!
The urgent knock could be heard from the door, made the poor man to opened up his eyes. He fell asleep on the hotel room's desk; neck got cramped from the position. His brown eyes gazed to the window, seeing the sun was already down as the hotel room he was in right now only showered with moonlight. Suddenly, another set of knock intrude his hearing once again,
"Tooru, we are hungry. We are going to search for something for dinner," The voice of his teammates made him jolted, his mind still jumbled up after his nap, "Don't tell me you are asleep there.”
"I-I am not!" He tried to sound as awake as he could be while he stood up and grabbed his wallet. The chuckle from outside noticing him that they knew about his secret nap, "I will be outside in a minute." Before going out, he stopped in front of the mirror. He spruced up the white shirt from his sponsor that got crumpled when he's asleep. His hair got a little bit messy, but it's not something that his hand couldn't fix.
"What took you so long?" The English accent from his teammate could be heard immediately by the time he opened up the door, "You look drowsy," Oikawa scoffed, a little bit annoyed as his teammates teased him playfully.
In high school, he was the one who usually teased his teammates and bullied his underclassmen. But here in a foreign country, he usually was the one who got teased. Though, he's grateful that they were just playing around.
"Please, I woke up like this!" He tried to act it cool, but instead, making himself cringed as his teammates laughed. The three of them walked to the elevator while he pouted the whole time. To kill the annoyance that was bubbling inside his head, he decided to grab his phone from his pocket, but he found nothing, "Shit, I left my phone in my room. You guys could go down first!”
The setter ran back towards the hotel room, panicking a little while he unlocked the key. His brown eyes were scanning the space, searching for his phone. There on the desk where he fell asleep, lay the black coloured phone that he treasured so much.
With a sigh of relief, he grabbed it and unlocked the key. A sincere smile appeared on his face when his brown orbs caught sight of his wallpaper. It was a picture of you, wearing his volleyball jersey from Aobajohsai with a wide grin on your face.
The picture was taken the night after their loss from Karasuno in his third year. You were there in his house to accompany her, and he remembers every line that you said towards him that night. But one particular sentence always struck his heart, step inside his mind like a cure for his every sorrow,
"You can lose in any match you play, Tooru. But you will always be number one in my life.”
A single tear rolled down his cheek, remembering how you pronounce every syllable that came out from your lips,
"And no matter where you go, I will follow you. Because when we are together, it will always be home.”
The loud ringtone from his phone woke him up from the daydream. He almost dropped his phone to the ground at the process, but thank god his reflex was quite good. When he knew it's just his teammates, he immediately answered the call.
"Have you found your phone?" Oikawa let out a snort at the question, shaking his head with how dense his teammates could sometimes be. He went out and locked his hotel room before answered,
"If I didn't find it, I wouldn't be able to pick it up." The brown-haired man goes down to the lobby where his friends were waiting for him. It's breezy around their hotel. After all, his teammates decided to choose one place near the beach.
The three of them stroll down to enjoy the soft sand while searching for an excellent place to eat. His hand kept fiddling on the phone, unlocking it just to catch a glimpse of your face. It was always a habit of him whenever his teammates didn't talk to him.
"You never told us who's the woman, you know!" Oikawa flinched when one of his teammates suddenly looked behind his shoulder, eyes scanning the picture on his phone, "She's cute!”
"She's mine!" He blurted out without thinking, eyes blazing with fire as he looked at his teammates, "Oh— I am sorry," His friends were a little bit taken aback by his outburst. They never saw him act like that before, like a king that was protecting his queen from the lurking eyes. No, it's not like that.
It's more like a king who's afraid to lose his queen to someone else.
The desperation in his voice could be sensed by his teammates. Making the two adults looked at each other, throwing glances because they didn't know what to say to their setter. Oikawa let out a long sigh and put his phone in his pocket. He looked at the two who was now curious,
"I am sorry for blurting out like that," They nodded, trying to be understanding at the foreign setter, "She's not mine anymore, so I actually didn't have the right to say that." There's a visible agony in his brown eyes, making his teammates wonder what happened to him, "Let's just say that we-”
"NICE KILL!”
Oikawa jolted when he heard the voice, one familiar voice that he knew from some matches that he had in his high school days. He turned around to find Hinata Shouyou, the boy that was now all grown up to be a man. Somehow, just a glimpse of an old acquaintance made him remember how his home felt like.
"Seriously though?" A wide grin appeared on his face as the orange-haired boy turned around, now finally facing him, "Is this real life?" Hinata wore his typical shocking look because nothing prepared him to see the Grand King that he and Kageyama always afraid of, even now.
"THE GRAND KING?!”
Both of them talk for a while; Oikawa decided to stay with the boy he used to call shrimp while his friends continue to search for dinner. Every time Hinata talked, his eyes will always shine with excitement, a fiery passion never dimmed in his heart when it comes to volleyball. It was something that the setter has forgotten, the reason why he started to love the said sports.
Hinata asked him to play beach volleyball together, shocking Oikawa in the process. But when he heard a rumble from Hinata's stomach, he couldn't help but laugh and treat him to a recommended place. They were now seated face to face, eating the tasty dinner as the two started to relax and shared some information.
"Do you have something that you regretted by going here?" The setter almost choked by the question, he was sure he didn't expect that kind of issue, "How do you recover from homesick? It's tough for me even though I am just a few months here.”
Oikawa gulped down some water to his throat, trying hard to arrange the perfect words. So that your name didn't have to slip from his lips, "Well, sometimes I miss my family and friends," and someone else, "But to be better, I need to push my limit, you know?" that, and for what?
"Whoa! So cool!" Hinata was always be someone who got easily pleased, "You already look like you were ready to go to every country!" Oikawa smirked at this, sipping at his drink with a satisfied smile. But something then appeared on Hinata's mind, "But you really didn't look homesick at all! Does your girlfriend follow you here?!”
He splurt out the water from his mouth, coughing uncontrollably from the question, "H-How do you know I have a girlfriend?!" He shouted, it's not an angry tone, but more like a shocked one.
"Well, the two of you weren't really discreet at all in high school," Hinata said a matter of fact, remembering how you always cheered the loudest and tackled the ex-captain of Aobajohsai every time he's done with a match.
"That's a rhetorical question, damn it!" The setter groaned, it's like the beach boy just wants to rub salt on his wound, "And no, she didn't. She's not my girlfriend anymore.”
Hinata widened his eyes, didn't know what to say at this point. He really has to blurt everything from his mind without filtering it, and now it made him feel guilty. Even though he's dense sometimes, he couldn't help but notice a pained look that was evident on the brown orbs.
"C-Come on! Let's go play!" Hearing the excitement from the younger man, Oikawa gave him a faint smirk, "Everyone's play until late at night, come on, Oikawa!”
After paying the bill, he walked up to the beach. The sport was crazy, he slipped to the sand, again and again, feeling embarrassed in front of Hinata. But even after he fell for numerous of time, Hinata still looked at him with amazement in his wide light brown eyes, "Today, for one second, just for one second, I was really depressed, but," Hinata crouched down to grab the volleyball, "After meeting you, I am feeling way, way, way better!”
Oikawa knew how hard it is to adapt in a foreign country, he was actually relieved that he met a familiar face after almost three years not coming back home. There's a longing look in brown eyes as the pair play the beach volleyball. It was fun, something that he missed after years playing indoor volleyball.
He felt like he's back to his childhood time, when everything was simple and life didn't slap him in the face every time he woke up. He fell and got sand all over his body, but for the first time in forever, he smiled genuinely, loving every second that he spent playing a branch of the sport that he adored so much.
Just like what he thought, of course they would lose. But right now, he didn’t care about that at all. It’s like he was back to zero once again, not knowing about what step he will take after this. Satisfaction coursed inside him as he gulped down the beer with his opponent.
After bidding goodbye to Hinata for today, he walked back inside his hotel room. It was late at night, around 12 pm when he plopped down to his bed. He closed his eyes, trying to remember the warmth that you always radiate when you were cuddling with him.
Is it really a good decision? To just leave?
Oikawa felt like a douchebag every time his thought was back to you. How you told him that you love him, even if the two of you will enrol in a different college. She didn’t know back then, about his choice. You were laying in his embrace as he cradled your body one last time before he went.
“You are so clingy today, Tooru.” Your voice was soft, it’s not an accusation, more like you were pointing out the obvious fact, “Something bothering you, my king?” But Oikawa didn’t answer, he just put his head on the crook of your neck, trying to absorb as much scent that he would never get for the next few years.
“I miss you,” It’s scary how he couldn’t seem to live properly without you. You were his home, and will forever be, “I am going to miss you so much.” He was now teared up a little.
Your eyes widened at this, your boyfriend was not someone that cried so easily. His words were like a confession, and at the same time, it was like he was saying goodbye to you.
“Oh, Tooru… I am going to miss you too, love.” You turned your body to face him, his eyes were glossy with tears, “I am going to be here when you wake up, take some rest, Tooru.” You kissed his lips, oh so softly. There’s no lust on it, just pure adoration as your lips moulded with his.
He knew that you would be there in the morning, in the same room, same bed. You will wake up with wonderful feelings after a good night's sleep. There will be bed hair, but you will look as gorgeous as ever. You will wake up peacefully, knowing that the love of your life was there, sleeping soundly beside you.
But he’s not.
It’s cruel for him to leave you without a trace. He even changed his email and phone number, didn’t want you to follow him. Iwaizumi punched him in the gut at the airport when he told his best friend what he did to you.
“You are such a selfish trash!”
He chuckled bitterly, he is a trash after all for leaving you. But he knew if he told you about his plan, you would follow him without any hesitation. You will leave every dream that you have planned just to support him every step of the way, and he wouldn’t let you do such things.
Ring! Ring!
Oikawa put his phone on the pillow, letting it ring as he waited for someone to pick it up. He’s too tired to hold the phone with his hand so he just turned on the speaker. A pout emerged on his face as he waited and waited,
“Are you in jail? Do you need a bail?” He snorted when he heard the familiar voice, “Isn’t it like midnight there? Why the fuck you called at this time of day?”
“You are always so mean, Iwa-chan~” Oikawa whined, his best friend wasn’t someone who would coo at him and coat him with kindness. But the abrasive man always made him feel like he was in a vacation home, made him forget about all of the problems in the world, “Don’t you miss me? It’s been weeks since the last time we called!”
“I don’t miss you. We still messaged each other, after all.” Iwaizumi sipped the coffee in his hand, it was lunchtime for him, the sun peeking through the window as he pondered, “But I know someone who does,”
Oikawa knew who Iwaizumi was talking about, he inhaled a lot of air to his lungs, suddenly felt like he was suffocating, “Damn it,” He wondered what are you doing right now. Did you miss him like how he missed you every second he breathes? “H-How is she?”
“Like a machine,” Oikawa bit his lips, those words could be a piece of great news or bad news for him, “She worked himself hard, never taking any rest. She just ate, worked, slept, and repeated.” Tears already soaking the pillow where he lay down right now, “Don’t you understand the impact of your disappearance?” Iwaizumi’s voice got higher with every second passed.
“I-”
“She’s fucking death inside! It’s like there’s no life in her for three whole years!” Iwaizumi was now shouting at the setter, and didn't care about the glance from the others as he shouted at a restaurant, “I couldn’t see her like that, please just let me tell her where you are.” The pleading voice cracked Oikawa’s heart even further. He told his best friend to never tell his whereabouts to anyone, not even his family, and never to you.
“She will leave all of her achievements behind if you tell her!” He stood up and stood in front of the window, eyes were now blazing with rage, he’s trying so hard to coated his sorrow with anger instead.
“IT’S BETTER THAN TO LIVE WITHOUT LIVING!” If Iwaizumi was in front of him, he would already be thrown to the ground and become his punch bag, “For god sake, she’s suffering every day, Oikawa.”
“See you later, Iwaizumi.”
“OIKA-” He hunged up, throwing his phone to the bed and screamed out, thanks to his teammates that they got a soundproofed hotel room. Oikawa sat down on the corner of the room, feeling so small and dejected. It’s crazy how his mood could be turned upside down just like that.
He was feeling invincible before, playing with Hinata brought another side of him that was long buried. But now here he was, sitting in the hotel room, once again feeling like he missed something in his life. He knew he needed you, but your dreams and his were different.
Who is he to throw away all of your dreams? He didn’t want to be the one who stole your freedom. So he left you, he left his home without giving a heads up. Oikawa just kissed your forehead, taking his bag that was seated in the living room, opened up the door of your house and never looked back.
Oikawa lost his home that day, he lost the safe house that he had since his ex-girlfriend dumped him because he only prioritized volleyball. But you were too understanding, always there at the stands when he has practice, telling him to get some rest if he’s forcing himself too much, cheering him on and never missing one match of his. Not even once.
You were the warmth that he always longed to have, no matter how far the two of you were apart. He missed you, too much that his heart couldn’t handle it anymore. Oikawa was never the one who cried so easily, but now, he felt like he was lost, too far away from home.
The home that he neglected, a home that he needed to leave without warning. It hurts him, but it was the path that he chose. He will come back someday, though he didn’t know when. And if by that time he will watch you happy with someone else, then it must be the price that he needed to pay, so long you still have the glimpse and passion to chase your wild dreams.
He stood up, cheek still stained with his overflowing tears. His feet brought him in front of the mirror in the bathroom. He wiped all of the remaining tears, feeling your fingers that usually did the same thing for him. Then his brown eyes bore to the man in the mirror. The man's skin was so pale, eyes streaking red for crying too much.
Oikawa Tooru was homesick. It’s not the sakura tree that he missed, neither the sun who always poured inside his room, not even how different the court feels there. It was you that he missed, just your presence. But he needed to remember it was the path that he chose.
After all, he didn’t want you to settle for someone less, someone like him that only has volleyball in his head. Someone that maybe even on his deathbed will only reminisce about how he serves and tossed at the court.
You deserve so much more than a man who will never be satisfied.
And that someone is not him.
372 notes · View notes
kenmastwin · 4 years
Text
Short Fuse and High Maintenance ✰ YakuLev
Genre: fluff, getting together
Words: 4,328
Summary: A few months passed with Lev on the team and at this point, Yaku was convinced that Lev was sent here to continuously make him feel small. Of course, Lev had never meant it in an offending way and somehow, that made it even worse. This way, Yaku didn’t only have to deal with the spite he felt from a fucking giant calling him short, he also had to deal with this weird tingling feeling in his heart that made his ears burn a little bit red.
Everything started on the day Lev first stepped into Nekoma’s gym for his first volleyball practice and caught sight of that one very short player. The third-year libero, Yaku Morisuke. Lev’s first impression of him was very simple: small. At that time, he hadn’t known yet how much that single fact would affect him and make a mess of his thoughts.
Haiba Lev, being a very tall person had, of course, seen small people. Actually, most people he’d encountered could be considered smaller than him. There was nothing to be surprised at in Yaku’s case either, especially since his amazing receiving skills definitely made up for his height on the court. Lev loved everything that was small and cute ever since he was a child. He would often feed the cats and dogs in the neighborhood or play with the children. He was very good with children and children liked him a lot too. They loved sitting on his shoulders to see the world from a higher point of view and just simply having one more playmate.
Becoming a regular member of the volleyball team taught Lev three things: his spiking teacher and setter, Kenma is impatient and reluctant to practice with him; his blocking teacher and captain, Kuroo is annoying and keeps nagging his ear off; his receiving teacher, Yaku is not only short but also has a short fuse. Lev honestly hated receiving practices, it was way too exhausting to keep running from one side of the court to the other and continuously dive for the ball. Yaku’s steadily reverberating scolding and yelling didn’t make it better either. Lev sneaked out not once when his senpai wasn’t paying attention. In the end, Lev concluded that not all small things were lovely and cute.
=^.^=
Yaku Morisuke could feel it deep in his guts the very first time he’d met Lev. It was a very intense boiling feeling that he couldn’t quite place at that time. He’d known it was triggered by his first impression on Lev: annoyingly tall half Russian towering over him to accentuate how small Yaku actually was. Yaku hated feeling small. He did all he could to make people focus on his high-quality receiving skills instead of his height and reveled in the fact that there were smaller players on the court as well. For example, Hinata Shouyou from Karasuno. Hinata was actually a whole centimeter shorter than Yaku and a middle blocker where height was the most important quality. Seeing him, Yaku didn’t seem all that special.
His feeling of disdain had only grown after he started to practice together with Lev. God, he sucked at everything so much... but he still kept running around shouting that he’d become the ace of Nekoma earning an earful from Yamamoto.
“Shut up and drag your ass back to receiving,” Yaku yelled at him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and dragging him to the other side of the court. He cursed himself internally for not being able to reach his ear to drag him by that. Stupid tall bastard.
A few months passed with Lev on the team and at this point, Yaku was convinced that Lev was sent here to continuously make him feel small.  
“Yaku-san, you’re so good at volleyball even though your small?”
“Is Hinata really smaller than you?”
“Yaku-san, you’re so small and cute.”
Of course, Lev had never meant it in an offending way and somehow, that made it even worse. This way, Yaku didn’t only have to deal with the spite he felt from a fucking giant calling him short, he also had to deal with this weird tingling feeling in his heart that made his ears burn a little bit red. That pair of sparkling eyes always held such sincerity in them that Yaku hardly could think that Lev was making fun of him. A tiny thought bloomed in the back of his mind: maybe, just maybe this guy actually liked his height?  
Yaku crushed this ridiculous thought, kicked Lev on the butt and refused to even look at the pouting man. What’s there to like about height anyways?
=^.^=
Lev’s first impression on Yaku Morisuke took a 360° turn after a few months passed. It changed from small and adorable to little and aggressive then back to small and adorable. He’d come a full circle only because Yaku’s passion for volleyball and his blunt nature scared Lev at first. He needed a few weeks to get used to it and realize that even though Yaku seemed to harbor some kind of grudge against him, his sharp words were never meant to harm Lev, only to help him improve for the sake of the team. The kicks and the punches he received were all things he could thank his own big mouth for. His teammates kept telling him over and over again to quit pointing out Yaku’s height if he wanted to live but he couldn’t help himself. That man, 2 years older than him, so self-conscious about a quality that only made him more charming in Lev’s eyes, was someone Lev could never control himself around.
It was all because Lev’s brain worked in the simplest way. When he saw something that he liked, he couldn’t help but compliment it. And god, did he like Yaku Morisuke a lot...
An unexpected phone call was the catalyst that deepened and secured just how much Lev actually liked the libero. He could neither expect or foresee it, much less stop it before everything had already escalated to the point of no return.
The caller was Lev’s older sister, Alisa who announced that she would come and live in Japan for a few months. Lev was very excited to see his sister and even more excited to introduce her to his teammates. He was super proud of his sister being a successful and beautiful model, and he wanted to show off his newly learned volleyball skills too. So, Lev invited Alisa to their upcoming game and made her meet his team at the entrance of the stadium.
Everything proceeded smoothly.
“Hello, I’m Haiba Alisa. Thank you for always taking care of Lyovochka,” Alisa greeted the Nekoma members and the members had their jaw on the floor.
“No way, is this your sister?” Yamamato had already hearts in his eyes.
“She is! Doesn’t we look very similar?” Lev asked, standing proudly by Alisa’s side, both of them smiling.
“Hm,” Kuroo nodded. “I guess you have some shared genes.”  
“She's prettier than Lev, though,” Kenma concluded and the whole team agreed as if Kenma’s words were law.
Lev pouted while Alisa laughed, feeling happy that his brother was getting along so well with his teammates. His gaze swept through his cheerful teammates before it finally landed on the small form of the libero he’d lately always kept in a corner of his vision. Yaku was currently staring at the pair of siblings with barely visible pink dusting his cheeks. Suddenly, his eyes met Lev’s and with a slight but sudden widening of them, he turned away completely. Lev’s eyes widened at the same time and a weird fluttering feeling spread in his heart and his stomach like a hundred butterflies taking flight at once.
Lev almost forgot that fleeting moment of locked eyes and flushed cheeks until Alisa came to cheer for them at another game.  
“Alisa-san came again?” Yaku rushed up to Lev, asking with sparkling eyes and the faint pink hue once again present on his cheeks. “She’s really too beautiful.”
Lev furrowed his brows, quickly making the connection between the flustered state of the libero and his sister’s presence. In the end, he only rubbed the back of his neck and laughed, “I know right. Let’s make sure to win today, Yaku-san!"
Yaku nodded, “Just try not to get in the way of the receives when you block.”
“Yaku-san...” Lev whined as the both of them ran up to line for the start.
The flushing and blushing, along with Yaku being uncharacteristically excited certainly didn’t help Lev tone his adoration down. If anything, it only sparked a thousand wishful scenarios inside the tall boy’s head. It seemed as if a whole new world opened for him, and the urge to never stop observing the short libero only increased.
If only he would receive half the attention of what Yaku blessed his sister with…  
=^.^=
Yaku seemed to not really look into Lev’s eyes. That made sense, he probably didn’t want to strain his neck looking up but Lev still imagined what it would feel like to have those sparkling brown eyes bore into his own, focusing on him and nothing else. Yaku-san's cheeks seemed to be round and delicate, they would probably fit nicely into Lev’s palms. Lev imagined pale skin warming up and changing shades under his touch until it became hot and red, a pair of lips awaiting to meet them with his own in a soft kiss-
Lev shook his head furiously to dissolve the mental image that strayed into dangerous territories. Yaku gave him a weird look, “Are you even listening to me?”
Lev’s only response was an awkward laugh, followed by Yaku’s exasperated sigh.
“I guess we should call it a day.”
“Sorry, Yaku-san,” Lev mumbled guiltily, walking after his receiving tutor out of the gym and into the clubroom to change.
“It’s fine. I didn’t expect to stay until this late, either,” Yaku said, doing everything in his power to keep his turned backside to Lev but he still couldn’t conceal a faint blush making its way into the tall boy’s view.
Lev rubbed his eyes, thinking that he must be really exhausted. His sister was nowhere in sight but Yaku-san was still blushing, that couldn’t be anything more than his mind playing games with him. He proceeded to change out of his sweaty practice clothes as fast as possible, thinking about a nice mind-clearing shower and some refreshing sleep at home.
However, something even more unexpected happened.
Yaku stopped in his tracks when they exited the school grounds and turned to look up at Lev, “Hey, wanna stop by the convenience store? I’ll treat you to ice cream.”
Lev’s eyes widened in absolute disbelief, feeling his insides burst from happiness. “Yaku-san!”
“W-what? If you don’t want to, that’s fine too. Just thought you’ve been working hard lately...” Yaku immediately averted his eyes, making wide movements with his arm to punctuate to the best of his abilities that this was not a big deal and there was no reason for Lev to be this happy. But Lev was even more happy because he knew very well that Yaku, although a very dependable senpai, wasn’t the type to just treat others to ice cream or anything else.
Lev caught one of Yaku’s flailing arms, his long fingers circling around the thin wrist. “I’d like that very much.”
“Th-then let’s go,” Yaku said, half mumbling the words, the blush creeping up on his cheeks again and not escaping Lev’s watchful eyes.
“Okay!”
The short walk to the convenience store down the street was spent in the quiet of the night. Lev’s head was so full of the confused happiness that overwhelmed him that somehow, he even forgot to speak, not filling up the silence with his usual chitchats. His eyes fluctuated between the road ahead and the short boy beside him, their gazes meeting every once in a while, before Yaku forcefully ripped away his.
They arrived too fast to Lev’s liking and Yaku sprinted inside, speedily navigating to where the ice creams were kept. It didn’t take long before he exited the store and offered one of the two ice creams to Lev with a bright smile on his face. “Here. Keep up the good work.”
“Thank you!” Lev accepted the treat, savoring the feeling of their fingers brushing together for the entirety of two seconds.  
Eating the ice cream with Yaku next to him giving him warm looks, the tiniest of smiles and well-earned compliments, Lev had two conclusions:
Hard work does indeed pay off and if this is his reward for holding out on Yaku-san's demonic training then it was all worth it, without a doubt.
Yaku-san is the most adorable human being in the world and if he can’t have him, he doesn’t want anyone else.
=^.^=
Yaku deeply regretted treating Lev for ice cream that night. Who would have thought that this would happen? All he wanted was to increase Lev’s motivation and to not have that look full of dread on his face whenever an extra receiving practice began. That’s the only reason why he willed himself to ask Kuroo Tetsurou with his shit-eating grin for advice on how to achieve that.
“Yakkun, have you ever heard of the stick and carrot method?”
“Please, say it so non-nerds can understand too,” Yaku replied even though he had a feeling of what Kuroo was implying already.
“I’m saying that you shouldn’t just scold him when he messes up but also give him rewards when he does well.”
Yaku groaned internally, a frown making itself present outwardly.
“Come on, Yakkun, it’s not that difficult to give the guy a few compliments. It’s not like you gotta confess your undying love,” Kuroo joked but the chuckle got caught in his throat when he saw Yaku’s wide eyes and flushed cheeks before they turned into angry pools of storm.
“Who would confess anything to that idiot...”
“You’re welcome!” Kuroo shouted after him as Yaku stomped out of the clubroom. “Huh, I didn’t expect that he cares about Lev this much.”
Kenma lifted his eyes from his game to look at Kuroo, “I give them one month.”
“Bet.”
To give Kuroo some credit, Lev did become more enthusiastic about practice after the ice cream reward. However, Yaku did not expect him to become this enthusiastic.
Lev arrived on time, didn’t try to slack off or escape and paid great attention to each and every word Yaku had said to him. His bright emerald eyes bore into Yaku with an unfamiliar intensity, making it difficult for Yaku to stay collected and not stumble over his words.  
He had no idea what went through the titan’s head but not only the attention, the physical contact had also increased. Usually, Lev would run off and bother Kenma for tosses to polish his spikes for which he needed to sacrifice his break time in order to convince Kenma (with the help of the coaches and the captain). Lately, Lev reserved a seat next to Yaku, sitting always in close proximity, thighs, shoulders and fingertips often brushing together. It never ceased to ignite a small fire in Yaku’s chest, making the heat spread all the way to his cheeks where it burned in pink. Yaku felt that every time he blushed because of Lev, he’d lost a piece of his honorable senpai image.
Well, not that Lev had ever cared about his senpai image, he’d always talked back to him and continuously called him short. Yaku was pretty sure that Lev had no respect for him whatsoever.
...On second thought, this statement didn’t feel quite correct. Because even though Lev rarely listened to him in the way Yaku had wanted him to, Lev never crossed any lines and always looked at him with nothing but pure admiration.  
Yaku felt his cheeks warm up at the thought again and squeezed his hands in a tight fist, feeling the overwhelming need to punch someone. Preferably the cause of his state. Preferably in the face.  
Of course, he’d spent quite a lot of time thinking about why his initial reaction to everything related to Lev was violence but the result only pissed him off more. Dreadful words of ‘confess’ and ‘undying love’ coming from his latest conversation with Kuroo popped up in his mind, and his rage changed targets, now very much wishing to punch the captain.  
Stupid Kuroo saying stupid things, implying that Yaku was in love with a stupid giant who kept making him feel all kind of stupid feelings. However, Yaku felt the stupidest out of them all for actually considering the idea quite often lately.  
Sometimes, he would catch himself staring at Lev without realizing it and even after realizing, he would keep on looking at the way his expression brightened when he nailed a spike, saved a ball or blocked a shot. It was even more interesting to see him get frustrated when he messed up, screaming but immediately focusing on the next rally. Yaku felt his chest tighten and a smile creeping onto his face at the same time. And the worst, the absolute worst was after practice! When Lev was spread out on the floor as if he was dead after the coach dismissed everyone and Yaku would approach Lev while wiping his face with a towel. He had no idea what had gotten into him but his hand moved against his own will and patted the disheveled silver hair. Lev looked up in shock and the moment their eyes locked, both of them froze. Both of their cheeks were pink but only Lev could see it grace Yaku’s turned face while the libero stood up, removed his hand and lightly poked Lev’s side with his foot.  
“Get up, don’t lie on the floor,” he spat out mechanically and walked away as fast as he could without appearing suspicious. He hated to admit it to even himself so he sure as hell would never admit anything about his maybe existing feelings to the boy himself.  
=^.^=
Now, Lev was not the brightest lightbulb in the bunch but when it came to Yaku, he was prompt to notice a change in attitude. Unfortunately, the conclusion he got from this simple observation was not quite correct.  
Lately, it seemed that Yaku was being more distant around him. There was less scolding and less hits and kicks attacking him but that also meant less physical contact. Lev felt somewhat weird for thinking about how he missed Yaku-san’s small fist punching his sides but this train of thought quickly geared him towards memories that made a lot more sense. Shoulders leaning against each other while resting, fingers brushing together while a reward of ice cream was passed, warm fingers combing through his hair after a long day of practice…  
Lev raised a hand, touching his hair for himself and feeling a strange kind of loneliness. He didn’t know why Yaku patted his head that day but he would sell his soul to only have that hand rest on top of his head again. There was just something about the short boy touching the top of this tall boy that felt more encouraging and comforting than any words could ever make him feel.
“If you don’t focus then stop wasting my time,” Kenma’s annoyed grumble and a volleyball fallen to the floor and rolling away brought Lev out of the maze of his thoughts. The maze of Yaku, we might as well call it by name. He had no idea that the smallest distance would make him miss the previous affection so much. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Yaku anymore, only that there was no more talking and interaction aside from practice. Missing someone right beside him was definitely not normal.  
Lev sighed, “Sorry, Kenma-san.”
Kenma stared at Lev’s slouched form, observant eyes seeing right through him and he sighed as well, “What’s wrong?”
Seeing Lev straighten up and his cheeks darkening confirmed Kenma’s suspicion. “Yaku-san?”
“I-I mean,” Lev stammered, trying not to give his feelings away which was highly difficult when Kenma’s scrutinizing gaze felt like he was completely naked. “He seems like he’s avoiding me. But he’s practicing with me as usual so it might just be me...”
“Oh,” Kenma said, glancing at Yaku practicing with Kuroo and Yamamoto before he made a decision.  
“W-what?” Lev felt very uneasy.  
“Do you like Yaku-san?”
“Wha- I… H-how did you know?”
“I didn’t know. You just told me,” Kenma pointed out then added when he saw Lev’s horrified expression. “But I kinda guessed already. You’re super obvious.”
“Do you think Yaku-san noticed something and this is why he’s avoiding me?”
“I’m sure he noticed something but I doubt it’s how you feel…” Kenma rolled his eyes. It almost pained him how these two were so focused on their own feelings that they failed to notice the other struggling with the exact same feelings. Maybe he could give them a little push, he thought, he had a bet to win, after all. 
Lev tilted his head in confusion, “What do you mean?”
“Have you ever thought that he might like you too?”
=^.^=
Lev ran through the streets excitedly, a sense of urgency in his steps. He hoped that he would still be able to catch up to Yaku. He didn’t even dare to think about reciprocated feelings before but Kenma’s words sparked hope in his heart. Kenma would never comfort anyone with empty words so with encouragement from Kenma, he felt like he had the support of the entire universe behind him.  
“Yaku-san!” he called out when he spotted the small figure passing in front of the convenience store near the school. He locked eyes with the surprised libero. Lev strode over, crossing the distance with a few long strides and towered over Yaku. Yaku despised when anyone, especially Lev of all people, towered over him and he didn’t hesitate to insert his palm into the stupidly tall person’s side.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked with a frown.
Lev clutched his painful side, the sparkles in his eyes not at all subsiding as they bore into Yaku. “Yaku-san, do you like me?”
Yaku was taken aback by the bluntness of the question, completely speechless for a moment before finding his voice again. “Did you hit your head? Why would I like you? You can’t even make a proper block.” He didn’t mention his spikes. Yaku had to admit, he got a lot better at those, scoring important points for the team.
“No, that’s not what I mean. Do you like like me?”
“...” Yaku had a bad feeling about the persistent questioning. “Why are you even asking me that?”
“Yaku-san, please, answer me.”
He knows. Yaku had half a mind to punch him with all of his might and run away if that’s the only way he could get out of this mess. How could this be possible? Lev was way too oblivious to realize the affections masked behind yelling. Yaku swore to murder whoever ratted him out. Kuroo, he was sure of it. That bastard always enjoyed messing with him.
“What if I do?” he glared at Lev, trying not to let the embarrassment show on his face and daring the tall man to make fun of him.
It was as if a thousand fireworks went off in Lev’s mind, he radiated excited happiness as he got closer to Yaku. “Because I like you too! I really really like you, Yaku-san!”  
Yaku looked at him like he was crazy. Why would this guy like him? That made no sense to him. He did nothing but yell at him, scold him, kick his butt, punch his side, slap his head... Yaku didn’t know if he should feel relieved that he was liked despite his horrendous treatment or just stupefied because was this guy a masochist or what?
“Are you stupid?” Was the only thing that ended up coming out of Yaku.
Lev didn’t even hear it. “I’m so happy you feel the same way. Sometimes, I thought you really hated me but then you would stare at me like that so I was kind of confused. Ah, I’m soooo happy now.”
Yaku blinked. How did he exactly stare at Lev? Shit, had he been caught? That’s too embarrassing, he wished he could poke out his own eyes. Lev continued rambling but Yaku’s mind went completely blank as he tried and failed to assess this situation.
“Yaku-san, can I kiss you?”
“Huh?!” Lev’s face was suddenly way too close and Yaku’s heartbeat sped up while a blush spread onto his cheeks. He unconsciously covered his face with an arm. “Aren’t you getting way too ahead of yourself here? Shouldn’t you ask if I want to be your boyfriend first?”
Lev’s eyes softened. He gently pried Yaku’s arm away from his face and smiled at the pretty pink blush on his face. Cute. Yaku was really too cute. It was impossible to resist.
“But we like each other. And I really want to kiss you right now. Don’t you?”
The question sounded innocent coming from him but for Yaku’s ears it held a teasing tone and mixed feelings dueled in his mind. He did want to kiss Lev. God knows how many times he imagined how his lips would feel against his but he would rather die than to say it and since he’s too short for a surprise kiss, he decided to die without ever getting the experience.
However, his head ended up nodding. He actually nodded! This simple gesture shocked both Lev and himself. Fortunately, he didn’t have the time to be embarrassed about it because Lev’s lips landed on his almost instantly. It was a short kiss, innocent and sweet and lighting up both of their faces with bliss and blush.  
“Yaku-san,” Lev smiled when he pulled away. “Would you be my boyfriend?”
Yaku’s blush deepened until his face was the same color as his Nekoma jacket. “Y-yeah, I guess we’re dating now…”
“Yay, I’ll make you happy, I promise!” Lev was beside himself with excitement and instantly wrapped up Yaku in his arms, finally feeling the satisfaction of holding his own little happiness and he swore to himself that he would never let him go.  
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