#i will have to analyze the data as it is created

[reasonsforhope]

AI models can seemingly do it all: generate songs, photos, stories, and pictures of what your dog would look like as a medieval monarch. 

But all of that data and imagery is pulled from real humans — writers, artists, illustrators, photographers, and more — who have had their work compressed and funneled into the training minds of AI without compensation. 

Kelly McKernan is one of those artists. In 2023, they discovered that Midjourney, an AI image generation tool, had used their unique artistic style to create over twelve thousand images. 

“It was starting to look pretty accurate, a little infringe-y,” they told The New Yorker last year. “I can see my hand in this stuff, see how my work was analyzed and mixed up with some others’ to produce these images.” 

For years, leading AI companies like Midjourney and OpenAI, have enjoyed seemingly unfettered regulation, but a landmark court case could change that. 

On May 9, a California federal judge allowed ten artists to move forward with their allegations against Stability AI, Runway, DeviantArt, and Midjourney. This includes proceeding with discovery, which means the AI companies will be asked to turn over internal documents for review and allow witness examination. 

Lawyer-turned-content-creator Nate Hake took to X, formerly known as Twitter, to celebrate the milestone, saying that “discovery could help open the floodgates.” 

“This is absolutely huge because so far the legal playbook by the GenAI companies has been to hide what their models were trained on,” Hake explained...

“I’m so grateful for these women and our lawyers,” McKernan posted on X, above a picture of them embracing Ortiz and Andersen. “We’re making history together as the largest copyright lawsuit in history moves forward.” ...

The case is one of many AI copyright theft cases brought forward in the last year, but no other case has gotten this far into litigation. 

“I think having us artist plaintiffs visible in court was important,” McKernan wrote. “We’re the human creators fighting a Goliath of exploitative tech.”

“There are REAL people suffering the consequences of unethically built generative AI. We demand accountability, artist protections, and regulation.” 

-via GoodGoodGood, May 10, 2024

#ai #anti ai #fuck ai art #ai art #big tech #tech news #lawsuit #united states #us politics #good news #hope #copyright #copyright law

[crezz-star]

⚔👒🗡

So I actually have a little idea about that ⚔️👒🗡️ ot3 (EGGHEAD ARC SPOILERS)

Seraphim!Zoro was the first human clone prototype Vegapunk did but he was just, dumped in some cell like a prisoner for any random testing. Until the marines attacked egghead and his cell was opened and he saw Luffy and Zoro fighting alongside one another. Seeing Luffy, he felt something stir within him. something familiar and pleasant. Excitement and delight. So when Zoro and Luffy defeated Lucci and they has a short respite, that's when 'Prototype' popped up and started to follow Luffy like a lost puppy and everyone got spooked for a minute thinking its one of the warlord pacifistas but Luffy saw he looks like Zoro. 'Prototype' is what Seraphim!Zoro was called by the vegapunk crew. Zoro's dna was used and his fighting data back at east blue was also used. Vegapunk tried to imbue him with an artificial devil fruit but his DNA keeps strongly rejecting it. So 'Prototype' is considered a failure by vegapunk but still uses him as a test subject. 'Prototype' was still being given updates in battle memory as they follow Zoro's improvement as a pirate and as time passes. Not to mention, Moria once lent a helping had to vegapunk who also studied and analyzed every move the Ryuma zombie made and fed that info to 'prototype' so his skills are also a no joke. Not to mention,

the Seraphim!Mihawk trains with Seraphim!Zoro. Which was only one of the reasons they kept prototype around.

Vega punk also made an imitation of Shusui that 'prototype' uses.

So prototype is very much like a quiet puppy. Feral when in battle but keeps to himself and is calm when not in battle. another reason Vegapunk deemed him a failure for not being aggressive like the successful new pacifista seraphims.

Vegapunk told Luffy not to worry about 'prototype' and that he's a failure and he will get rid of him but Luffy got mad and almost punched the vegapunk that said it. Luffy then saying, " DON'T TREAT HIM LIKE SOME ITEM. THAT'S ZORO'S CLONE. " covering 'prototype' protectively.

Vegapunk not really having a care for his failed experiemnts, just, told luffy he can have him.

So seraphim!zoro joins the crew. His name being give to him by Zoro - after Luffy's endless coercion LOL- Shiro. since his hair is white. The crew even scolding him to think of a proper name, that shiro makes it sound like Zoro is just naming a dog. But luffy likes it so they go with that.

Once Shiro joins joins the crew, Shiro eventually develops his personality to be closer to Zoro although, more quiet and stoic than Zoro.

Shiro also has sense of direction, but only because vegapunk made sure the seraphim intellect is high to create detailed tactics for war and battle.

#crezztellations #one piece #zolu #ゾロル #seraphim!zoro

[mrsfancyferrari]

Just One Kiss

Summary: You & Charles are just best friends but when he wins in his home for the first time, things might change

Song: Reflections - The Neighbourhood

Author’s note: Congratulations to Charles Leclerc for winning in his first home Monaco Grand Prix! This is my first F1 story and I recently started following F1 so please give constructive criticism.

Word count: 2.4k

Your best friend was racing across the last track, and you held your breath, anticipating the outcome. The crowd was on their feet, cheering and shouting as the finish line approached.

As he sprinted towards the end, you could see the determination behind his helmet, the sheer will to win. And then, in a burst of speed, he crossed the finish line, victorious.

The stadium erupted in applause, celebrating his incredible feat of athleticism and the months of hard work and training that had led to this moment.

His victory at the Monaco Grand Prix was not only a personal triumph but also a historical moment for his team. It marked his first win on this iconic track, solidifying his status as a rising star in the world of Formula 1 racing.

The streets of Monte Carlo were filled with joy and excitement as fans and fellow drivers alike celebrated his remarkable achievement.

As you joined in the jubilant celebration, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and admiration for your best friend. You had witnessed firsthand the countless hours of dedication and sacrifice he had poured into his career.

From early mornings at the gym to late nights studying data and analyzing race strategies, he had truly given his all.

And now, as you stood among the crowd, you knew that this victory was just the beginning of an extraordinary journey that would undoubtedly lead him to even greater heights in the world of Formula 1 racing.

As soon as he parked close enough, he jumped out of his racing car and ran over to his team with happiness. They embraced him with open arms, their faces beaming with pride and joy.

Together, they celebrated this monumental victory, knowing that it was the result of their collective effort and unwavering support. The atmosphere was electric, and the moment will forever be etched in their memories as a symbol of their shared triumph and unbreakable bond.

You squeezed through the crowd, determined to catch a glimpse of your best friend before he headed for the podium. Finally, you spotted him, his face still flushed with the adrenaline of the race.

You shouted his name, waving your arms to get his attention, and when he saw you, a wide smile spread across his face. He made his way towards you, and in that moment, you felt an overwhelming sense of pride and happiness for his incredible achievement.

As he ran over to you, a surge of joy and excitement overcame both of you. He engulfed you into a tight hug, lifting you up off the ground.

You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as the exhilaration of the moment washed over you. The crowd roared in applause, their cheers blending with the sound of your friend's racing heartbeat, creating a symphony of triumph and friendship that echoed through the streets of Monte Carlo.

Placing you back down, you both looked at each other in silence, something you two started doing recently. It was as if words were no longer necessary to understand each other's thoughts and feelings.

"You did it," You whispered, unable to control the tears gushing down your face.

Charles grinned, "Yeah, I did, with you by my side," he said, his voice filled with gratitude and emotion.

While you played with his hair on the back of his head, you smiled back at him.

As if something had possessed you, you quickly leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Charles' lips.

Both of you were shocked by your actions, your eyes widening in surprise as you pulled away from the unexpected kiss.

What have you done?

The atmosphere around you seemed to pause for a moment, as if time itself had frozen, before the crowd erupted into a mix of gasps and cheers, unable to believe what they had just witnessed.

Charles heard his manager call him, and as he quickly glanced back, his eyes met yours. He smiled, a mix of excitement and uncertainty in his expression, and said, "I'll talk to you when I come back, promise."

He left the embrace and followed his manager, disappearing into the crowd as he made his way towards the podium. As you stood there, still in shock from the unexpected kiss, you couldn't help but wonder how this moment would change everything between you and Charles.

The crowd continued to cheer, but in that fleeting moment, you both knew that something had shifted between you, and there was no going back. . . . .

You couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt as the laughter of Daniel echoed across the room as you explained your issue to him. It was clear that he found the situation amusing, and it made you question whether confiding in him was the right decision.

"Come on, don't be so hard on yourself," Daniel replied, his laughter subsiding.

"It's not every day that you accidentally kiss your best friend. But hey, maybe this could be the start of something amazing between you two."

You sighed, still unsure of how to navigate the complex emotions swirling within you. "I don't know, Daniel," you said softly. "I'm just worried that this kiss might ruin our friendship."

"Don't worry too much," Daniel reassured you. "Who knows, this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

"Exactly, maybe finally my favorite ship will get together," Oscar added, coming out of nowhere to join the conversation.

You lightly punched Oscar's arm for his comment, trying to hide your blush and dismiss his teasing. Deep down, though, you couldn't help but wonder if he was right, and if this unexpected kiss with Charles could truly lead to something more than just friendship.

"Just think about it, you two would look too cute together!" Oscar said while holding his arm in 'pain'.

"This is not what I meant when I asked for advice," you muttered, keeping an eye out of the Monegasque.

"Our advice is to ask him out, no ifs or buts," Daniel started.

"But," you interrupted, "what if he doesn't feel the same way? I don't want to risk losing our friendship."

Daniel sighed, understanding your hesitation. "I get it, but you'll never know unless you try. And if there's a 100 percent chance he says yes, then maybe it's worth taking the leap."

"But what if there's also a 100 percent chance he says no?" you countered, your voice wavering with uncertainty.

Daniel paused, considering your question. "Well," he finally said, "then at least you'll have closure and can move on without any regrets."

As the boys left you, you couldn't help but mull over their advice. The idea of asking Charles out was both exhilarating and terrifying, but deep down, you knew that regretting never taking a chance would be even worse.

It didn't take you long to find out that Charles, along with the rest of his team, were celebrating their victory by the dock.

His smile was enough to make you retreat. The warmth in his eyes and the genuine happiness he exuded made you momentarily remember about doubts of asking him out.

Maybe, just maybe, you were content with keeping things as they were for now, cherishing the friendship you had with Charles.

The party was a lively affair, with colorful decorations adorning the dock and laughter filling the air. Families, drivers, and workers mingled together, sharing stories and celebrating the team's victory.

The aroma of delicious food wafted through the crowd, enticing everyone to indulge in the festive feast. The atmosphere was filled with a sense of camaraderie and joy, as people danced to the upbeat music and raised their glasses in cheers.

It was a true celebration of hard work and success, and you couldn't help but feel grateful to be a part of such a vibrant and supportive community.

As you observed the lively celebration from the corner, you took a moment to gather your thoughts and plan what you would say to Charles when you finally had a chance to speak with him.

Having given up on love, you found yourself scrolling through the online world looking for signs that he might be interested in you and what to say when you want to confess your feelings.

Maybe instead of relying on online advice or searching for signs, it might be best to have an open and honest conversation with Charles.

Find a quiet moment during the celebration to approach him, express your feelings sincerely, and ask if he would be interested in exploring a romantic relationship. By directly communicating your emotions, you can avoid misunderstandings and have a clearer understanding of where you both stand-

As you were lost in your thoughts, suddenly your chin was raised up and your eyes were forced off your phone and look into the eyes of Charles. His gaze was intense, and you could see a hint of curiosity and intrigue.

He then leaned in closer as he tilted your head up, his lips brushing against yours for seconds, and you could taste the salty sea water from when he jumped into the docks.

You were taken aback by the unexpected kiss, the taste of salty sea water lingering on your lips.

"Hey, can we talk somewhere else in private?" Charles asked desperately.

"Ye- Yeah," you stuttered, having Charles lead you with his hand in yours out of the party. Your heart raced with a mix of excitement and nervousness as you followed him, wondering what he wanted to talk about in private.

As you stayed silent, your mind raced with possibilities of what Charles wanted to discuss in private. Was he going to reciprocate your feelings? Or was there something else entirely on his mind?

The anticipation and uncertainty only fueled your curiosity as you both entered the closest empty room.

Charles let go of your hand as soon as the room was secure, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. It was as if the connection you had just shared was abruptly severed, leaving you longing for his touch once more.

"Are you going to start or should I?" Charles asked as he leaned against a piece of furniture, his eyes never leave you.

The intense eye contact he made made you feel as though your legs were suddenly giving out.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" you muttered, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

"Well, I'm thinking about the kiss you gave me in front of national television," he stated. His voice was filled with a mix of amusement and disbelief.

The realization hit you like a wave, and you couldn't help but blush at the thought of the millions of people who saw that intimate moment between the two of you.

"And I can't stop wondering if it was just in the moment or if there's something more between us."

You shake your head vigorously, denying any deeper meaning behind the kiss. "It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean for it to be taken seriously."

There could never be anything between the two of you anyway. The public would never allow it. Just deny it.

"Mon chérie, are you sure? Because your expressions say otherwise," he teased as he started to walk over to you, his playful smile revealing that he saw through your denial.

The way he closed the distance between you made your heart race even faster, and you couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was a possibility for something more between you and Charles after all.

Charles always loved to tease you in every way possible. Either it was placing your cup on the top shelf or holding your phone in the air, he was always determined to tease you these days.

But this was different.

"No, Charles, I'm certain. It was just a momentary lapse in judgment, nothing more," you insisted, desperately clinging to the denial. Deep down, you knew that pursuing anything with Charles would only lead to heartbreak and disappointment.

It was better to keep your feelings buried and maintain the illusion of friendship.

As Charles stood in front of you, barely any space between you two, his eyes bore into yours with an intensity that made it hard to maintain your denial.

The air crackled with tension, and despite your best efforts, you couldn't help but feel a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, there could be something more between you and Charles.

"Want to try again to see if it was just a 'momentary lapse'?" he asked, raising your chin again. His words sent a shiver down your spine, tempting you to give in and explore the possibility of something more.

His lips were hovering over yours, teasing you with the possibility of what could be. The air between you was charged with anticipation, and it took every ounce of willpower to resist the temptation and maintain your denial.

"Just say it," He muttered, "Just say it and I'll do the rest."

But as you looked into his eyes, you couldn't deny the truth that they held. They were filled with a longing and desire that mirrored your own, and in that moment, you knew that your denial was futile.

"I want you," you finally whispered, surrendering to the undeniable connection between you and Charles.

Charles captured your lips with such hunger, his kiss filled with the years of unspoken longing and desire that had been building between you. In that moment, you both knew that there was no turning back, and that the possibility of something more had become an undeniable reality.

Your hands wrapped around his neck as you deepened the kiss, losing yourself in the intoxicating passion that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

In that moment, you both knew that you were no longer able to deny the magnetic pull between you, and that surrendering to this forbidden love was inevitable.

"I love you," you whispered, your voice barely audible in the midst of your passionate embrace.

Charles's eyes softened, filled with a mix of joy and relief, as he murmured, "I love you too," sealing your fate in a love that had been yearning to be acknowledged. . . .

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #scuderia ferrari #leclerc #carlos #cl16 #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine #cl16 x you #cl16 one shot #max verstappen #mv1 #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #monaco gp 2024 #f1 fic #oscar piastri #formula racing #carlos sainz #leclerc x reader #grand prix #ferrari

[0w0tsuki]

It's always telling that the only time when transandro bros even dain to recognize intracommunity transmisogyny, it's only when they're forced to distance themselves from the rampant transmisogynists in their community whose transmisogyny is so cartoonish it becomes undeniable. And it's only to preserve image and position themselves as the non-reactionary alternative.

They did it when one of their own sent out rapey sexual harassment copypasta anons to trans lesbians. They did this when already infamous "transmisogyny group chat"/"The TMRA Radfems warned you about" faggotwithopinions/transmascpeterwenz treated becoming mutuals with the CEO who permabanned a trans woman for no reason and followed her off-site to violate privacy data protections in order to paint her as a sex pest as Huge Get. They did this when TERFs felt comfortable with their communities transmisogyny to openly talk about how they plan to use transandro bros specifically to drive a wedge in the trans community, something trans andro bros accuse transfeminists of all the time.

And when I say it's only in these cases it is ONLY in these wildly cartoonish scenarios. Back when the "transmisogyny group chat" was still fresh news, something that usually happens when a queer transmisogynist shows their full ass happened. A bunch of TERFs who stalk these discourses because they're obsessed with trans women went into his anons to send the most vile hate they could summon while pretending to be trans women so our abusers have something they can point to to play victim. And all the transandro bros took these ANONYMOUS HATE MESSAGES sending gendered slurs/sexual harassment at FACE VALUE when they said they were coming from trans women. It got so bad that prominent transandro bro GenderKoolaid when "dissecting and analyzing" a cropped screenshot of a post by Predstrogen (you know the trans woman who was later outsted by the CEO himself) made some wild speculation about how an offhand comment about "transfems taking the piss" was a direct joke reveling in this harassment.

And there are still plenty of blatant transmisogynists that are propped up as prominent members of the transandro community because they haven't had their own "Me and CarExplosionsHammer Photomatt are besties!" moment. There's the aforementioned GenderKoolaid who routinely engaged with "critiquing" transfeminists posts out of context behind their back and alongside spacelazarwolf has promoted the kiwifarms style blog transandrophobia-archive.

They harbor loads of ex TERFs. ftmtftm who left a 31 paragraph college dissertation with proper citations carefully explaining why I'm either purposely unintellectual or actually stupid and what I was saying was radfeminism aktually when I was looking through his blog before blocking him I saw 1) him lamenting about feeling abandoned by the radfem community he was apparently raised by and 2) him sighing with fucking "transmisoginy group chat" faggotwithopinions of all people about how "these Actual Transmisogynists™ make it so hard for us Actually Nice TMRAs and we need to put an effort to come across as considerate to their experiences with them when we engage with transfems" acting like they they aren't the very problem they are complaining about.

An out Ex-TERF nothorses is responsible for cultivating the current transandro echo chamber tried to use his influence in the community he helped create to try and redefine TERF to try to allow for the label to paradoxically include trans women. After that he wrote an anti-transfeminist manifesto that "defined" Beaddelism and cited open TERF sources. And this manifesto is still constantly linked by transandro bros whenever someone outside the discourse asks what a beaddel is.

The transmisogyny is so bad in their community but simultaneously is explicitly an outlier and not representative of them. Every prominent member is transmisogynists Georg and should not be counted but only when you can prove he is unequivocally, beyond the shadow of a doubt, transmisogynist. Up until then everything he does is fine until it's not.

To transandro bros "transmisogynistic trans men" is this Mystical Other problem that can only be solved with better PR and is completely unaddressable and says nothing about their community at all. Something that they've wholly separated from themselves that's only addressed in the theoretical until they're forced to confront it because they've fostered it so much it's become too big to ignore.

Like if your truly "one of the good ones" whose "only trying to talk about specific issues trans men face" then ask yourself why you've aligned with an ideology founded directly in opposition to transfeminis?. Why do you stand with a community whose mest well regarded members are also some of the most rampant transmisogynists on this site? Why you are constantly having to do PR work to not be instantly regarded as on the transmisogynists that you're community has become known for?Why you refuse to address the transmisogyny problem so much that out and proud TERFs feel comfortable enough to walk right in and start proposing "AMAB supremacy" theory?

Like I've said before. The disgusting actions and behaviors from the community alone are enough to not regard any "theory" they put forth to excuse it.

#transfeminism #transmisogyny #transandro bros #no true scotsman

[alien-girl-21]

The Käärijä Research Paper (tm)

aka: Error Analysis of the Use of English Articles in Jere Pöyhönen Interviews in 2023

(Before we start, a couple of clarifications: firstly, I am a linguistics student and this research was my final project for my psycholinguistics course, secondly, this was a group research and I have gotten permission from my friends to share these results with y'all so tysm to them, and lastly, the og work is LONG, 50 pages long, so I'm condensing it into the important bits)

Findings and explanations under the cut <3

Before sharing the actual research, i'm going to share some important terms for you guys to understand the overall layout of this work.

Error analysis: kind of self explanatory, it's the process of analyzing errors, specifically in one's speech, more on how we did this later.

Omission: The alienation of a linguistic form in speech (i.e. I go to (the) supermarket.).

Addition: The opposite of omission, putting an unnecessary linguistic form in a sentence (i.e. It's the maybe half and half.).

Substitution: Exchanging a linguistic form for another one (i.e. He admitted to have stolen a wallet. Instead of: He admitted to having stolen a wallet.).

Overgeneralization: Looking at a grammatical rule and thinking it applies to every case with no exceptions (i.e. finding out verbs conjugated in the past end in -ed and creating conjugations like writted instead of written). Also known as intralingual transfer.

Negative transfer: When your mother tongue (L1) seeps into your second/foreign language (L2) (in this case it's foreign language, but I'll still call it an L2 for simplicity's sake), if we're talking about Spanish negative transfer it can look like: the car red (Spanish adjectives go after the noun, unlike in English). Also known as interlingual transfer.

Local error: An error that does not affect the overall meaning of the sentence, making it still understandable.

Global error: An error that affects the overall meaning of the sentence, making it difficult to understand without clarifications.

Okay, with that out of the way, let me explain what we did:

We decided to make an error analysis on how Jere utilized articles (the, a/an) throughout 2023, for this we considered 2 interviews and 1 Instagram live, the interviews were: KÄÄRIJÄ TRIES LITHUANIAN FOOD (uploaded on 12/04/23) and Episode 3: Käärijä and friends (uploaded on 26/12/23), the ig live was the one he did to promote the release of Huhhahhei on 19/10/23, the dates are important for later.

Now, to do the error analysis in itself we followed Rod Ellis’ proposal for error analysis which follows four main steps:

Identifying errors: Self-explanatory, you see what errors one has committed.

Describing errors: Once you see the errors, you describe what exactly the error is, it can be with grammatical categories, or with omission, misinformation, addition, misordering, and substitution.

Explaining errors: After describing the error you need to explain why this error was committed, the two main ways are through overgeneralization and negative transfer.

Error evaluation: After all this, you identify how the error affected the overall message of the sentence being spoken, was it local or global?

We put these steps into a chart and listened to the interviews and identified the errors we found, it’s a really long chart, so if you want to see it fully you can find it here (hopefully). After identifying all the errors and doing our own error analysis we… well, analyzed the data, duh, according to the objectives we set up for the research.

Our first objective was to identify errors Jere has committed regarding articles in the three videos I mentioned. What we analyzed was more grammatical, so what grammatical structure he used the most. He usually omits an article before a noun and with adjectives, like in: “We go to bar with my producer…”, or “Käärijä goes to boat.”, or “I am fine, uh… little bit tired.”. Obviously, this is kind of expected because Finnish does not have articles, but he also adds articles when it is not necessary, like in: “I have the one festival.” Here are the charts of the grammatical trends:

Then we focused on the describing errors part of our analysis. In this part, we found out that he usually finds himself committing omission errors, with 67 in total across the three videos, like I said before, expected, however, the second most common error is addition, this means he adds an unnecessary article in a sentence, and what’s interesting is that he usually does it with the article “the”. Since this is not an actual academic article I will speculate with a full chest: I think he does this because people are usually taught that “the” is the only article in English (only definite one, but not the only one), and that nouns usually have an article accompanying them, so I think that he adds the when he is unsure if an article needs to go there or not. Finally, there was only one case of substitution: “This is the lovely story.”, not really sure why he did this, but it’s interesting that it only happened once. Have the charts and graphs:

We moved to the next step: explaining errors. When we started this research, we thought that we would only have negative transfers since, ya know, Finnish grammar and all, and we were kind of right? He has committed negative transfer errors the most, with 66 in total, but he also had 23 overgeneralization errors, which I didn’t really expect to happen with articles that much. Not much else to say here, have charts:

Lastly, error evaluation. He made mostly local errors, which is what mainly characterizes his speech, we know what he’s saying, he just usually lacks some grammatical form that doesn’t affect his overall meaning. He did have 15 global errors that unless you have the context, it can be a little confusing to understand what he’s trying to say (like in the ig live he said “here tour” when he wanted to say “here in the tour”). Charts!

Our final objective was to see the evolution of these errors, has he made more or less as time went on? Well, since we all can see and hear, he has made a great improvement! You already have the charts above to understand that, but I just have to explain it. In the first interview, in April, he made 50 mistakes in total, by the ig live he had cut those in half, and by the latest interview he gave in English he had cut the mistakes in half again! Have the graphs to accurately see this:

He has improved so much in such a short amount of time! Even more impressive when he hasn’t really taken any formal English classes, just by talking to Bojan and Alessandra. There’s a difference between language learning and language acquisition that was proposed by Stephen Krashen (cool dude, if you’re interested in language learning, go check him out). He says that people usually learn more by acquiring (unconscious) rather than learning (conscious), and you can see that Jere has learnt so much by acquiring English through his friends and his own experiences! And this is just looking at how he uses articles, there is also a distinctive change in how he uses other grammatical forms (but that was too much work for just 2 weeks, maybe I’ll do it later, no promises on anything, though). Even if we’re not talking about his grammatical and syntactical forms, his pronunciation has improved as well! My friends were fascinated by how his accent seemed to develop from video to video, which was very sweet because his accent is one of my favorite things about his speech, but that’s off topic.

The general takeaway from this research is: Jere still has a lot of Finnish tendencies in his English, he has developed his own grammatical structures to communicate in English, and how much he improved in an 8-month period is kind of insane, especially for an adult (who are the age group who have the most trouble learning languages). He’s the it-girl of blowing off a linguist’s mind (me, I’m the linguist)

That would be all!! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask! I'm more than glad to answer them

#hope you enjoy reading this!! #anyways i was supposed to work on my slides to present this to the class tomorrow but...oh well #priorities #i also hope this made sense lmao #käärijä

[herohimbowhore]

2023 Special Helmets: An Analysis

Helmets are where we get to see the creativity and personality of drivers come alive. Not too long ago, I looked at and analyzed the normal helmets that all 22 drivers wore. That analysis was heavily focused on color because there isn't much room for creativity in those helmets and color is one of the main things that drivers can play around with to show their individuality and creativity.

However, with the special helmets drivers wear during the season, we see much more about the drivers and their creativity.

In the 2023 season, there were 23 events (with the 22 grand prix weekends and preseason testing) in which a special helmet could be worn, and with 20 drivers on the grid at any given event, there was potential for 460 special helmets. Obviously, every driver isn't going to have a special helmet for every single event.

However, there were 114 instances (that I was able to identify) in which drivers wore a special helmet. Or 114/460 = 0.248 = 24.8% Which is a far cry from the days were drivers were only allowed one special helmet per season.

Methodology

After combing through social media posts, news articles, images from race weekends, and different sessions, I was able to identify 114 instances in which the 22 drivers who participated in the 2023 season wore a helmet that was not their "normal" helmet. I went through this process approximately three times to ensure that I didn't miss anything, but I was doing a lot of this during the end of my thesis and finals time, so there might be some things I missed. In which case please do let me know.

All of this data was put into a spreadsheet:

The next step was to organize the data and find the meanings given by the drivers for why they wore the special helmets. This again meant more time for social media posts and news articles.

With the data gathered, there was a need for analysis. While the individual stories behind the helmets are very interesting on their own, they don't tell us much about special helmets as a whole.

The first method of analysis was the number of special helmets per driver. While it sounds straightforward, some drivers did reuse special helmets for more than one race.

The next method of analysis was the number of special helmets per event. Though in the spreadsheet, the Qatar GP and sprint are separately listed due to Pierre having two helmets that weekend, I did count it as one event because it is the only instance in which two helmets were worn in one weekend.

The last method of analysis was the reasoning for the special helmet. In this, the possible reasons for the helmet were considered. Essentially, what was the reason for having a special helmet - as it was given by the driver/team/helmet design?

For this last analysis, I created 21 different reasonings based on the data I had gathered during the research phase. Most of the helmets fit into more than one of the following reasons:

Host Tribute: The helmet heavily features a design related to the city or country they are racing in. It somehow is a tribute to the host.

Team Home Race: The helmet was worn during a race in which the team is somehow based. This could also be a main sponsor home race, i.e., Honda or Alfa Romeo.

Inaugural Race: The first time a race was held at the location.

Home Race: A race in the country that the driver was born in, races for, etc.

Sponsor Collaboration: A driver partnered with a sponsor and it is clearly visible in the design.

Vibes: There's no explanation that I could find.

Livery Match: The helmet features design elements similar to a one-off/special livery.

Team Milestone: The race is a major milestone for the team and the driver has some sort of tribute for it.

Tribute Helmet: The helmet is meant to be a tribute to someone(s) special to the driver. Could be F1-related people or people that are special in their personal livers.

Race Milestone: The race is a major milestone for the driver.

WDC: This one is just for Max Verstappen and the helmet he was gifted by Red Bull after winning the WDC in Qatar.

Artist Collaboration: The driver worked with an artist that was specifically stated.

Night Race: This was only used if I could not find any other explanation for the helmet, and it featured either glitter or chrome.

Race Beginnings Tribute: The explanation for the helmet somehow relates it back to the beginnings of their racing career. Color or design elements from first helmets.

Team Tribute: The helmet is meant to show love and appreciation for the team.

Movie Release Collaboration: The helmet corresponds to a movie that is soon to be released.

Honorary Home Race: While not the driver's home race, the country has become like home and/or taken them in as one of their own.

Investor Tribute: Helmet showcases something meaningful to a team investor.

Embodies the Samurai Spirit: Fernando Alonso's samurai tattoo and love for Samurai culture.

Comeback Race: This was only used for Daniel Ricciardo in Hungary because there was no other reason for the special honey badger on the back of his helmet and it quite clearly said "I'm Back."

Last Race: While Abu Dhabi was a night race, the helmet used during the race did not feature glitter or chrome. It was just a special design different from the normal helmet worn.

There was a caveat with the host tribute and team home race. A helmet that featured location-specific designs was either counted as a host tribute or a team home race. So a Haas driver with a special helmet In the US would be considered for a team home race, not a host tribute, whereas a Ferrari driver with a US-themed helmet would be considered a host tribute. Additionally, for the Las Vegas Grand Prix, special helmets were considered as inaugural race helmets, not host tributes. Unless it was for the Haas drivers, in which case it was a team home race and inaugural race helmet.

Analysis

How Many Special Helmets Were There Per Driver?

There were a total of 114 instances in which a special helmet was worn. However, there were not 114 different special helmets worn. In quite a few cases a special helmet design was repeated over 2 or more race weekends.

Max Verstappen wore a special helmet at 10 different race weekends, but for five of those weekends, he was wearing his WDC helmet. The WDC helmet was given to him after winning the championship during the Sprint race. It was then worn for the Qatar Grand Prix, in Austin, Mexico, Brazil, and Abu Dhabi. So while he wore a special helmet for 10 race weekends, there were only 6 different special helmet designs worn by him. Sergio Perez wore a special helmet at 5 different race weekends. Unlike his fellow Red Bull driver, he did not repeat a special helmet during the season. Each helmet had a distinct design to fit the race weekend.

Charles Leclerc wore a special helmet at 7 different race weekends, whereas Carlos Sainz wore a special helmet at 5 different race weekends. Neither Ferrari driver repeated a special helmet design during the season.

Lewis Hamilton had 2 special helmets during the 2023 season - the second least amount of special helmets for a driver who raced for the entire season. As such, he did not repeat any special helmet designs. Meanwhile, George Russell wore a special helmet at 3 different events. However, he only had 2 distinct designs as the special helmets for testing and the Bahrain Grand Prix were the same.

Lando Norris wore a special helmet at 7 different race weekends. However, he wore the same special helmets for Monaco and Spain, which happened to correlate with the McLaren Triple Crown special livery for those weekends. Oscar Piastri wore a special helmet at 5 different race weekends. Like his teammate, he wore the same special helmets for Monaco and Spain which correlated with the Triple Crown livery.

Esteban Ocon wore a special helmet at 11 different race weekends, which was the most special helmets worn by a driver. However, while he wore the most special helmets, Esteban did wear the same helmet for 4 weekends (testing, Bahrain GP, Saudi Arabia, and Australia). The Baku helmet was the same as his regular helmet, but instead of black lines, he had white lines. So, Esteban did have the most special helmets, it was largely due to a repeat of special helmets at the beginning of the season. There were only 8 distinct special helmet designs. Pierre Gasly wore 8 special helmets during the 2023 season. Each special helmet had a distinct design, Pierre even went so far as to have 2 different special helmets for the Qatar race weekend.

Fernando Alonso wore 3 special helmets during the 2023 season and was one of the few drivers who did not have a special helmet design for his home Grand Prix. Teammate Lance Stroll had 4 special helmet designs for the 2023 season.

Valtteri Bottas had 9 special helmets for the 2023 season and no repeats at any point in the year. He had the most distinct special helmets. Notably, most of Valtteri's special helmets were designed by professional cyclist and partner, Tiffany Cromwell. While Alfa Romeo had been largely forgotten during the season, Valtteri's helmets were extremely memorable with the fun and creative designs. Zhou Guanyu had 6 special helmets for the 2023 season and there were no repeats in special helmets. However, at least one design was the same as his regular helmet but with the colors changed to fit the race weekend.

Nico Hulkenberg wore 6 special helmets during the season. However, his special helmets for Austin and Las Vegas are seemingly the same helmet, while the Abu Dhabi helmet was his normal helmet but with chrome where it used to be white. Kevin Magnussen also had 6 special helmets for the 2023 season. Each helmet was distinct in its design, however like Nico, the Abu Dhabi helmet was his regular helmet with chrome details where it had been white.

Alex Albon had 5 special helmets for the 2023 season. Alex used the same special helmet for Silverstone and Hungary, otherwise the 799th and 800th races for Williams. Logan Sargeant had the least special helmets for a driver who participated in all 22 races with just 1 for his home race of Miami.

Yuku Tsunoda had 6 special helmets for the 2023 season. However, 3 of the special helmets were his regular helmet, but with different colors to fit the race weekends. Daniel Ricciardo had 4 special helmets for the 2023 season. However, he wore the Las Vegas helmet for Abu Dhabi as well. Nyck De Vries had 1 special helmet and Liam Lawson had no special helmets.

In the end, there were a total of 101 distinct special helmet designs worn in total.

How Many Special Helmets Were There Per Race?

For this analysis, there were a total of 23 weekends that a special helmet could have been worn - testing and 22 races.

Of the 23 weekends, there was only one event that had no special helmets from any driver. Austria was the only race without at least one special helmet for the entirety of the weekend. Considering that Austria is the home race for Red Bull and the race was at the Red Bull Ring, it was somewhat surprising to see that there were no special helmets by any of the Red Bull drivers.

The race with the most special helmets was the Las Vegas Grand Prix. It was the inaugural race and 16 of the 20 drivers had a special helmet for the race weekend that either fit the Vegas vibe or was glittery/chrome for the night race. A consistent theme was that the American races had the most special helmets. In Miami, 11 drivers had special helmets, and in Austin, 9 drivers had special helmets. I believe that this could largely be due to sponsors and a push towards engaging the US markets. Additionally, it was only the second race in Miami and COTA has always been a race that drivers/teams go all out for.

Also, notably, Qatar had 3 special helmets, but only 2 drivers due to Pierre Gasly having 2 different special helmets for the weekend. He had one for the sprint and one for the Grand Prix.

How Many Special Helmets Were There Per Reason?

As I mentioned above, 21 different reasons were given for wearing a special helmet. In most cases, there were multiple reasons or explanations for why a driver chose a special helmet for a race weekend. Some reasons were much more common than others.

Most commonly, drivers chose to wear a special helmet to honor the city or country they were racing in. These helmets had some sort of design elements that paid tribute to the city or country. So think of the Monaco helmets. A lot of them featured iconic parts of the city. For example, Valtteri Bottas' helmet, while Pac-Man themed had different parts of the Monaco track like the tunnel and piscine. Kevin Magnussen's Monaco helmet also featured iconic Monaco imagery.

The next most common reason was an inaugural race special helmet with 16 of the 20 drivers having a special helmet for Las Vegas.

Home races were also a very common reason for a special helmet, whether it was for a team home race (15), a driver's home race (10), or an honorary home race (2).

There were a lot of milestones celebrated this year for teams and drivers when it came to the number of races that they'd completed. Most notably, Williams reached 800 races, Lando Norris competed in 100 races (as did George Russell, while he did not have a special helmet for the occasion, Mercedes did release vintage-style merch that coincided with George's 100th race weekend), and Charles Leclerc reached 100 race entries with Ferrari the same weekend as Lando and George. While Charles did have a special helmet for the race weekend, it was not originally for that purpose. The original meaning behind his football field special helmet was a host tribute, but when his race milestone was brought up he attributed the green of the football field to Italian pop singer Gianni Morandi's green meadow where hopes are born and connected it to Ferrari.

Concluding Remarks

Special helmets reveal so much about drivers and what they deem important or worthy of a special helmet. Each special helmet is unique in its own way.

Something I found very interesting is that of the 11 drivers who wore special helmets in Miami, only Nico Hulkenberg did not have a hint of pink on his helmet. While still very Miami, he didn't have the iconic pink color that the other 10 drivers did. And while that can mean absolutely nothing, looking at that in context to his tweet about the pink Force India, it's a little bit more than just not having pink on his helmet.

Or based on Fernando Alonso's Japan helmet, you could go into the connection he's had with Samurais and his back tattoo and nickname.

These special helmets open new avenues to understanding how drivers think and which narratives they want to highlight. There may not be extensive stories to tell with each helmet, but a good chunk of them can take you down a few different paths to understand either the drivers or the teams that they drive for.

And finally, after looking at 101 different helmet designs, here are some of my personal favorites

Share your favorite helmets or least favorite helmets - I have pictures of all the ones used for this analysis in the Google Docs link attached.

Notes for Special Helmets: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WWx8gVzkMzy_l6zwG0u1Vx2mAzPOjK3LqOLaz8z6v3w/edit?usp=sharing (I may have been a hater during some of my notes, but in my defense, I was tipsy and I'd looked at a lot of helmets and articles)

2023 Helmets Analysis

#formula 1 #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #charles leclerc #alex albon #f1 #special helmets #oscar piastri #lando norris #george russell #yuki tsunoda #fernando alonso #logan sargeant #carlos sainz #sergio perez #nico hulkenberg #kevin magnussen #valtteri bottas #zhou guanyu #lance stroll #esteban ocon #pierre gasly #nyck de vries #2023 formula 1 season

[39oa]

(nonsensical hrpf data exercise) degree centrality graphing & other archive insights

intro/prior work

hello 🙇‍♀️ i'm not sure this post will make any kind of sense at all, but i love analyzing ao3 data and i especially find it fascinating in the realm of sports/hrpf because of the amount of player- and team-related attributes that offer dimensionality to fandom analysis when examined in parallel with archive metrics. i've already kind of done hrpf overviews on two separate occasions over the past year or so, but my method of collection differed in each instance and also always gave me new things to chew on and potentially explore, such as expanding on the link between player talent and shippability and whether high-draft picks have more fic written for them on average.

i most recently examined player data based on aggregated relationship counts since 2022, but this was a limited snapshot meant to piece together recent ficdom trends (see top ships since 01/01/22) and not be representative of fandom overall. basically, things i want to visualize/talk about now are:

hockey is so widespread as a sports fandom because there are 32 teams in the league, which when compared to a community like f1 makes it difficult to succinctly summarize primary relationships for. there is no self-contained grid of 20 drivers that remains generally fixed within a season, where every move in/out of that "roster" is highly reported upon and instrumental to fandom makeup, but instead a more amorphous network of malleable rosters featuring high-variance cascading orders of character visibility; in short, the difference between the most and least popular driver in f1 fandom is not the same as the difference between sidney crosby and that one ahl lifer who was called up to your 4th line two months ago because your team is utterly decimated and gunning for bedard.

Still: because rosters are so malleable and trades happen with some amount of frequency, and because hockey is still an "insular" ecosystem in terms of geographic accessibility and junior-age development (for better or worse; mostly for worse, but that's neither here nor there), players intrinsically have a low degree of separation between one another, whether it be as teammates now or as friends growing up in the ohl, ntdp, etc. i therefore wanted to take that a step further and look at it through fic metrics especially: can we use a summary of ficdom's real, tangible output and visualize it through a similar network? (+ where and how does that network differ from player connections in practice?)

back to the impact of draft pick # and assessments of talent relative to popularity, i also wanted to look at the most "successful" ships in ficdom from this network and evaluate the different distributions and impacts of their respective attributes. are certain player positions more popular? which nationalities are the most commonly shipped?

etc. But let's just get into it.

process

getting any kind of information from a 60%-locked fandom on ao3 is a nightmare and introduces a myriad of data-collecting limitations, so i do feel it important to disclaim that what i present in this post functions more in the realm of Approximate Interpretation and Potential Correlation than any actual 100% objective representation of fandom metrics.

a perceived limitation i have with character tagging metrics on ao3 is that they don't exactly reflect shippability; that is, if q.hughes is tagged as a character in a n.hischier/j.hughes fic, it gets attributed to his character tag but doesn't actually say anything about how many Relationship Fics exist for him on a whole. my best solution for this was essentially uncovering most of a player's relationships and summing their individual fic counts to create an approximate # of "relationship fics" for each player. so any kind of shippability graph going forward will use that metric.

i used ao3's relationship tag search and filtered by canonical in the men's hockey rpf fandom and only pulled relationship* fics ("/" instead of "&") with a min. of 20 works. ao3's counts are... Not the most accurate, so my filtering may have fudged some things around or missed a few pairings on the cusp, which again is why all the visuals here are not meant to show Everything in the most exact manner but function more so as a "general overview" of ficdom. although i did doublecheck the ship counts so the numbers themselves are accurate as of time of collection.

(*i excluded wag ships, reader ships, threesomes to make my life easier although i know this affects numbers for certain players, hc/gm ships, and any otherwise non-NHL Player ship. for ex., this eliminated anna kasterova/evgeni malkin, tyler brown/tyler seguin, and kyle dubas/william nylander, just to name a few)

all ship data was collected march 16, 2023.

PART 1. SC87 ship networking

when i first began this exercise i tried graphing ships for all the first-overall picks from 2003-2022 because i wanted to get an overarching sense of their connections. however, doing so made me realize that sidney crosby was by and far the most-connected node in the graph (and basically all hrpf in general) with a degree of 11, and that he was centering one huge component to which only two ships failed to connect (op/kj and slaf/xhekaj). basically:

so then i was like, right! let me instead use sidney crosby as my sole starting node, map out all ships with 20+ works from him specifically, take the players he connects to and map out their corresponding ships (excluding sid) and just keep iterating until i basically reach a final child node. through this, i yielded 112 ships and 98 unique players, with my final connecting node coming 9 degrees of separation away through brady tkachuk ↔ tim stützle/quinn hughes. unfortunately i can't actually host this little code snippet anywhere lol but i also wrote an input to check the pathways between any two players which was kind of fun:

here is the actual network graph with colors from automatically generated clustering, which doesn't really mean much but i thought was one nice way of presenting it. the edge width refers to the sum of fics for each ship and the node size refers to the degree, or number of ships, for each player.

i then also joined my player set with a dataset that included draft year, drafted team, position, etc... and through that color-coded the graph with the team each player was originally drafted to (i always struggle between using current team and draft team because which one matters more is super contextual, but... using draft team made my life easier this time so i hope it's still interesting.) here i only included colors for 13 teams that had 3+ players each:

→ [full-size graph]

we can do a bit more analysis based on this specific sidcros network, like which players are the "most-shipped" or overviewing cross-team shipping tendencies:

but! of course, not ALL big hrpf ships lead back to sc87. using him as a central node essentially just helped me filter out excess "noise" when searching for relationship tags on ao3, because now i could exclude anyone connected to him at all (note: the relationship fics from my set equaled upward of 19,000 works, accounting for 60.4% of the entire men's hockey rpf archive) and hit other significant tags more efficiently.

through this method, i singled out a new set of 76 ships and 134 unique players (notice the significant decrease in overlap), which i then combined with my sid ships to create one massive set of Hockey Ships With Over 20+ Works On Ao3 that i could analyze holistically. no idea if this makes any sense but bear with me:

PART 2. general ship insights

i won't bore people with endlessly listing out ship rankings but here's the previous top chart with the new ships slotted in:

now for some overall player analysis!

first i wanted to look at how attributes like draft round, nationality, and position (F/D/G) are represented in the player set.

the nationality distribution is pretty close to all active nhl players this season, so there aren't major disparities there. however, the vast majority of players 1) were drafted in the first round and 2) are mostly forwards, with the forwards also seemingly reflecting the general philosophy of faster development/higher recent-round representation. we can take this overview a step further and actually examine the fic averages for each characteristic as a proxy for measuring shippability/ficdom popularity.

first, i scatterplotted all players by their draft pick and number of fic to (try and) show the heavy skew toward top picks (inspired by the gar draft pick value curve and other similar plots). this is... well, limited in many ways, and if i had an actually adequately large dataset i could specifically plot averages per distinct pick number and try to present something there, but the problem is that a lot of these later pick numbers only have like one player so there's way too much variance LOL.

but just for the sake of this exercise i excluded j.benn as an outlier and grouped fic averages by round (left below). again, noting the sample sizes, let's just say that first rounders on average seem to have the most fic written about them, even if it's not a particularly shocking insight. we can also try creating a histogram for "shippability" by draft year, binning here for every 2 years, to see which draft years appear to have had the most success (right below). note the peaks around 2005 and 2015, aka the sc87 and cm97 ~Generational Years~ 🤔

i've also been interested in figuring out which positions are commonly preferred—since centers are so often the faces of a franchise and are essentially the most sought-after position, and since goalies occupy a positionally static role/are less oriented toward contact (and the presumed homoeroticness thereof) in the way skaters are, is that reflected in the fic metrics as well? turns out: yes.

some ship analysis

learning more about player data in a vacuum is fun, but we also have all of this relationship data that lets us examine how different characteristics interact with each other, which is meaningful as well! for example, we know that forwards are heavily represented in the dataset, but is center4center the most common combination? or is there love for a franchise center and his beloved winger or the team's dependable 1d?

(fought for my life trying to figure out how to map this properly so please accept a horrible bar chart instead) as it turns out, the most common combination is centers/wingers, followed afterward by centers/centers. i don't know whether this really means much to me because i'd like to dissect the combos even further (is C/C more often 1C 2C or cross-team rivalry 1C shipping? are C/W usually linemates? etc.) but 🤷‍♀️ here's a graph.

i also distributed ships by their nationality combination, displaying to the surprise of no one a heavy preference (a whopping 66.4%!) for north american-exclusive shipping. i also thought stacking by "draft year" (= averaging the draft year between both players for each ship) offered some interesting insight into usa4usa shipping having slightly younger representation. also i do think usa/germany being singlehandedly driven up this chart by one family is remarkable and hilarious LOL.

also in the realm of draft year analysis, i wanted to look at draft year differences and whether fandom preferences seem to lie by way of same-age-ish pairings and In-Class Bicycling so to speak. graphing ships by these differences spanned a range of 20 years, with the oldest "age" (draft) difference being 20 years between zdeno chara and charlie mcavoy. overall, of 175 ships with a drafted player, 60.5% were drafted within 2 years of each other (18.2% in the same draft), and only 5% had a draft difference of 10 or more years.

then, of those 32 ships drafted within the same year, i distributed their counts by year to see which draft classes featured the biggest in-class clusters, leading us again to the Famed Class of 2015:

closing thoughts

i'll stop here :saluting_face: something else i had on the agenda that i don't really know how to adequately explore with this dataset is basically stanley cup champion stuff, e.g. looking at players and ships and fic counts from winning teams and how/whether a sort of "winning bias" has been trending down as of late (see the relative success of ships from teams like phi/ana compared to tbl/stl)—temporal data is so particular and difficult to wrangle with ao3 though so i'll have to let this one percolate a little bit.

finally, another thing (!) that i love examining is captaincy and how it often helps inform shippability; C/A/guyswithletters shipping obviously generously overlaps with being drafted early, high-impact players, some positional stuff like Young Star Center having the role foisted onto him, etc. and many of these aspects are immediately identifiable in top ships like 8771, 1634, 1386... just to name a few obvious ones. unfortch i don't really have the time or space to look at that here but it's something i'm still interested in maybe expanding on, and i also never ended up collecting actual skater *performance* data which would be super fun to eventually get to, e.g. mapping ficdom output to not just background identifiers like draft year/pick but also 1) actual tangible evaluations of player goals/points/(salary?!?)/etc. and 2) some dimension of draft outperformance/underperformance, which is pertinent for scenarios like late-round picks who have defied career expectations (see outlier jbenn having a shit ton of lifetime fic) AND early-round picks whose trajectories have not panned out as expected for whatever reason; often the ~tragic~ frustration of being a bust actually invites more narrative focus and scrutiny, but at the same time ficdom trends have pointed themselves to being attracted to many historic, talented, generational, and so on players, who more often than not are also winners, which potentially posits a need for some sustained line of access/visibility to high-expectation players significantly before they're regarded as "busts" in order to organically grow and generate initial interest that can survive the renewed reality of their situation. but who knows

again, i don't know whether any of this even makes sense or is interesting to literally anyone at all, but i personally enjoyed just dicking around graphing shit and getting to join a ton of tables together for absolutely no reason lol. that's all!

#(extremely long post warning) #*m #stats #>guy who needs to reflect

[hadesoftheladies]

I don’t understand how people (mostly men) insist not having empathy makes you more objective when it’s the exact opposite. Empathy literally forces you to look at data outside your own perspective (experiences, biases, neural patterns, subconscious craving for comfort and internal consistency) and is perhaps the closest you can get as a human being to living outside your own head. It literally broadens perspective which broadens how you analyze data. It is one of the best tools in coming as close as humans can to objectivity.

Logic and rationality can be applied to many different perspectives. That’s why you can have intellectuals believe vastly different things despite having the same cognitive skills in analysis. IQ doesn’t make you more balanced or objective. That’s why creatives are often seen as geniuses, too, because they can switch between multiple perspectives and create things that force us to do the same.

Feeling is also honest data. Emotions are like, some of the most honest parts about ourselves and can inform us on things our cognitive systems would steer us away from in order to avoid discomfort.

Emotions and empathy can cloud judgement, but they can also enhance perspective and enhance how we look at information.

I think it’s childish how people (mostly men) keep trying to pit these useful “tools” against each other and make it their whole personality. Like no, “rational” isn’t a personality trait, or “emotional”. Stop trying to gender tools we all have. (I swear men will gender anything according to that unnatural and constructed gender binary, everything must be split in half and pitted against the other).

You know what people are neglecting that’s making their judgements shit? Self-awareness (and no, not self-consciousness). If people developed self-awareness more, they’d know how to better utilize their emotions and cognitive capabilities.

They’re just either too lazy, too tired or too irresponsible to culture it.

I also think people who demonize empathy are some of the most intellectually and morally lazy people ever. Like you’re rationalizing your avoidance of inconvenience, not “being objective.” (Also, most “real” intellectuals I’ve met are invested in moral questions and development genuinely, as opposed to just being indifferent and flippant. Being indifferent and flippant suggests that you aren’t thoughtful and actually just a talking head. Thoughtful people are the ones aware of what is in their heads and curious about how those got there—and curious about people in general. They aren’t interested in appearing invulnerable. They’re more invested in reaching internal consensus).

Anyways. Time to go eat dinner.

#mine #rant

[delta-orionis]

For the past couple of days, I've been tossing around the idea of an iterator OC who is focused around astronomy. I love astronomy, and there's a conspicuous lack of any information about it in Rain World, which I find pretty intriguing. (I made a post about some of my random theories here.) So, I started to think about what an iterator specifically designed to study astronomy might be like. I named them Three Stars Above Clouds (in reference to Orion's belt, because I can't help but put references to Orion in everything I do, I guess). I actually ended up having a lot of thoughts about them, which I'll detail below. (Warning, there's A Lot.)

Three Stars Above Clouds (TSAC) was designed and built by a splinter group of Ancients who believed the Solution to the Great Problem wouldn't be found deep underground, but in the sky. TSAC was created in order to help them collect data about the sky, house their institutions, and conduct research. They were built into a mountain range, where clouds are less likely to form and the air is thinner. (Real world observatories are often built on top of mountains or in arid places like deserts in an attempt to avoid interference from clouds and rain. You can't see the stars if they're hidden behind clouds, after all.)

Three Stars Above Clouds' city is home to several large observatories which keep a constant watch on the sky. I got the idea for TSAC in part from the currently-under-construction Large Synoptic Survey Telescope (also called the Vera C. Rubin Observatory). The LSST is designed to take ultra-high-definition pictures of the entire night sky every couple of nights, in order to monitor for changes. This data will be a treasure trove for astronomers, and can be used for anything from discovering new asteroids and rogue planets, to monitoring distant galaxies for supernovae. One problem that arises from this, however, is the sheer amount of data that this telescope will produce- it's way too much for any human to hope to be able to sift through. I imagine that the Ancients who built TSAC would run into a similar problem; TSAC's observatories generate colossal amounts of data, so a large part of TSAC's duties as an iterator are to sift through and analyze this data to find anything that might be useful in finding the Solution.

Three Stars Above Clouds is relatively isolated as an iterator. They are located at a much higher altitude than their peers, in the middle of a remote mountain range. Their citizens are also somewhat isolated from Ancient society at large, due to their fringe religious beliefs. (Due to the lack of anything astronomy or space-travel related in Rain World's lore, I think the Ancients either largely don't have an interest in studying astronomy, or it's considered taboo due to their religion's focus on ascension, as well as the subterranean Void Sea.)

As for Three Stars Above Clouds themself, they have a bit of a reputation for being a loner. Other iterators sometimes see them as obsessing over something pointless, because despite the vast amounts of data TSAC has collected, so far it's turned up nothing useful in terms of the Solution. However they are sometimes contacted by iterators who might be interested in their data, either for the purpose of research or just out of curiosity. TSAC is happy to talk about their personal research to anyone who is willing to listen.

Three Stars Above Clouds worked closely with their citizens while their city was still inhabited, and misses them deeply. Despite their citizens being gone, they continue with their sky surveys, partially because the desire to do so is hard-coded into their programming, and partially because it at least gives them something to do. Deep down, TSAC is convinced that someday they will come across something extraordinary among the stars.

In order to store the immense amounts of data generated by their observatories, TSAC's city and internal structure contain a wealth of data pearls, which has inevitably led to the amassing of a large Scavenger population both in and around their structure, who regularly raid TSAC's supply of pearls. However, due to TSAC's high altitude, their external structure and surrounding mountains are also home to large colonies of Vultures, which help control the Scavenger population, at the very least. TSAC is quite fond of Vultures for this reason.

The mountains are very cold, which means Three Stars Above Clouds' rain freezes almost immediately into snow and sleet, which falls down onto the surrounding mountains. As the glaciers and snowfall on these mountains melt, the water flows down the mountains into large rivers, and is collected in several dams at ground level. These dams are home to pumping stations which pump water back up into TSAC's can. TSAC's can is fed water through a vast array of underground pipes that snake underneath and through the mountains. The upkeep of these pipes is mostly automated, however, there are some issues that only an engineer can fix. With all of TSAC's engineers gone, their pipe network is extremely prone to failure due to its complexity. They've had a dam or two break in the past, and TSAC knows that it's only a matter of time before all of their dams break and they will lose their water supply for good.

Their void fluid filtration system is also similarly complex; mine shafts are scattered throughout the mountain range and reach deep underground to access the Void Sea. Even though TSAC's ancients don't think Void Fluid is the key to ascension, they still recognize its usefulness as a potent energy source.

These networks of tunnels, pipes, mines, and maintenance stations have become home to a wide range of creatures over the cycles, many seeking refuge from the cold. Maybe there's even a colony of subterranean Slugcats running around down there.

I've also made an annotated version of the drawing of TSAC's can; you can click on the alt text for transcriptions of my notes if you can't read my handwriting. One thing I forgot to note was the green lasers, those are Laser Guide Stars. (I just think they look cool.)

And here's a closer look at TSAC's city, because I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out. (I even snuck the LSST in there on the left, hehe.)

Aaaand I think that's everything! If I got any of the lore wrong, I apologize. Rain World's lore is pretty vague at times, and I tried to do the best with what I know. I also have a pretty strong grasp on astronomy, but not so much on climatology and geology, so if I got some of those things wrong as well, go easy on me, haha. X]

I will say, creating an iterator is an interesting thought experiment. You need to think about the effect they have on the surrounding environment, while keeping in mind that they're sentient and also have an entire city of people living on them that they need to help manage. Iterators are fascinating to me, and I love reading about other people's OCs and seeing the ways they're able to make them unique.

If you read this far, thank you for devoting some of your time to listening to me ramble. You get a gold star: ⭐⭐⭐

Edit: Here's a closeup of their in-game sprite as a reward for reading this far. Yippee

#my art #my ocs #rain world #rain world iterator #iterator oc #three stars above clouds #I PROMISE I will draw some of the canon characters soon. I just needed to get this guy out of my brain #I love iterators so much. rotating them in my mind #what if there was an enormous building that was also a Guy. Also it had Depression. Would that be fucked up or what #also holy shit I wrote so much. if you have the patience to read it all I love you #I came up with most of this during long commutes. I need to keep myself from going insane while sitting in traffic somehow #might as well make up a guy #this might as well be an iteratorsona. why the hell not lol #they’re extremely tailored to my interests #iterators

[summerlinenss]

out of curiosity, if Max doesn’t release its metrics, then what metrics are you actually using to make these statements about the show’s popularity? what does “it’s currently in the 99.7th percentile of the comedy genre, meaning it’s in higher demand than 99.7% of all comedy series in the u.s.” even mean? How are you measuring what’s “in demand” - by who? Where? It’s bold to claim that this show was wildly popular (despite the fact that I never hear about it outside of tumblr, tho that’s a personal anecdote) but cancelled just for being queer, so I would be really interested to know where you’re getting all these numbers from. Thanks!

hey anon! first of all i am so sorry for the delayed response. i started typing something up and then i got distracted with something else and totally forgot about this in my drafts.

sure, i have no problem citing sources. i probably should’ve linked some in my original post, that’s absolutely fair.

this ended up way longer than i planned so bear with me, but a quick overview of what i’ll be going over:

1) what are the stats/where did they come from?

2) how is the show so popular?

3) was it really cancelled for being queer?

(also just a disclaimer that this will contain spoilers for the show)

1) first, the numbers

you’re right that hbo doesn’t release metrics to the public. in fact, ceo casey bloys tried to justify the cancellation to the hollywood reporter by saying “the numbers weren’t there,” despite refusing to say what exactly those numbers were or where they came from.

however, there are websites dedicated to researching/analyzing the data of different media. one of those is parrot analytics, who focus on industry insights like audience demand, competitive analysis, and content valuations. they’re trusted as a reliable source by forbes, the new york times, reuters, the wall street journal, and more.

this is what we can learn from them about our flag means death from a basic google search (note that all of this data is relevant to the last 30 days as of january 26 2024):

audience demand for our flag means death is now 33.6x greater than the average tv series in the united states. as explained in the “about demand distribution” section, this means it’s one of only 0.2% of all u.s. shows to fall in the “exceptional” performance range compared to the “average” demand benchmark of 64.1%.

the change in demand for ofmd in the u.s. has increased by 7.5% compared to the average tv series.

ofmd now actually ranks at the 99.8th percentile in the comedy genre in the u.s. i’m not a math person, but in basic terms, this is like a scale of measuring and comparing performances to create an average score. essentially, ofmd is performing at the very top of all comedy series in the u.s.

ofmd has 100% home market travelability. as it says above, the market of origin is always 100%, so in fairness i included the graph of international markets for comparison. some of these aren't super high, however (as explained by parrot analytics themselves) one of the key issues with the international market is accessibility to content, which has been an ongoing struggle for international fans. many people (i guess fittingly) have resorted to pirating ofmd because they don’t have access to max or affiliate streaming services in their country.

there are more stats i could have and wanted to go more in-depth into but it would make this even longer than it already is, so i’ll just leave some links you can check out if you’re interested and move on:

• comparison of ofmd's success to shows like ted lasso, euphoria, and peacemaker

• ofmd's placement as #1 most in-demand breakout series in the u.s. for 8 weeks

• ofmd's impressive 94% critics score and 95% audience score on rotten tomatoes

• how ofmd evolved from sleeper hit to a flagship series at max

• a list of ofmd's past and present award nominations/wins

• praise and recognition from news/entertainment sites: the atlantic (2022); the new york times (2023); tv guide (2023); vulture (2023); forbes (2023); the los angeles times (2022); vanity fair (2023)

2) so why haven’t you (or others) really heard of the show outside of tumblr despite all this success? likely because max did a terrible job marketing it.

ofmd first aired on hbo max (pre-merger before it was “max”) in march 2022. the entire season aired over one month, every thursday at 12am pst. season 2 followed a similar release schedule in october 2023.

season 1’s marketing was almost non-existent, pretty much relying on taika waititi’s name being attached. there was one teaser and one full-length trailer, as well as a few clips on youtube of taika and rhys darby answering pirate-themed trivia, all painting the show as a “silly pirate workplace/buddy comedy.” but hbo max didn’t put any real effort in because they didn’t care. david zaslav and the other higher-ups had no faith in the show and expected it to fail.

most people weren’t aware it was actually a romance due to the poor marketing, and although there were many romantically charged scenes between them, many were still wary to believe it wasn’t queerbaiting until ed & stede confessed their feelings and kissed.

showrunner david jenkins has said in interviews that he had no idea how deeply queerbaiting had hurt audiences and impacted their ability to trust what’s on screen without feeling like they’re being ridiculed, despite the fact that he was calling it a love story the whole time. it wasn’t until people realized they weren’t being queerbaited and that it was a funny, sincere show with a compelling plot that word-of-mouth began to spread. by the time the season 1 finale aired, there was a decent-sized fandom that continued to grow as it received more praise.

it was a fight to even get the show renewed for season 2, and david jenkins and the cast have majorly credited that renewal to the unexpected and massive fan response to the show, which basically forced hbo’s hand.

max didn’t bother trying to properly promote the series until season 2, when they begrudgingly accepted that it was one of their most profitable and successful shows. ofmd had huge billboards in times square, downtown los angeles, and on the side of hbo headquarters. they started accurately marketing the show as not just a workplace comedy at sea, but a heartfelt romcom. max began selling long-demanded merch (which became best sellers) and spent money on an FYC campaign.

i will emphasize, whether they liked it or not, they knew ofmd was their new moneymaker (especially with the recent end of succession, which was obviously a cash cow for hbo).

photo credit: @/bookishtheo

3) now if it was that successful, was it really cancelled just for being queer?

i mean, i can’t say that definitively. no one can. there are several potential factors at play that we may never know, and there have been a lot of rumours and speculation (many of which i don’t feel comfortable discussing in case they aren’t true) since the cancellation.

but do i believe the fact that it’s a queer romcom was one of those factors, especially since max has a history of cancelling and scrapping its most diverse projects? absolutely.

first and foremost, i can’t stress enough that this isn’t just a show with a few characters thrown in for token representation. ofmd is built on a diverse, intersectional cast and narratives, including:

• lgbtq+ representation: 5 main couples are explicitly queer (including mlm, wlw, nblm, and nblw relationships). multiple characters are implied to be poly, and there’s a polycule forming in season 2 that was hinted to be developed more in season 3. beyond relationships, it’s confirmed that (similarly to the way wwdits depicts all vampires as being pansexual) all of the pirates are somewhere on the queer spectrum.

• bipoc representation: the majority of the main cast are people of colour. this includes david fane, joel fry, leslie jones, samson kayo, vico ortiz, anapela polataivao, madeleine sami, samba schutte, ruibo qian, and taika waititi, as well as many guest actors (like rachel house, simone kessell, and maaka pohatu) and extras.

• disability representation: multiple characters have physical disabilities, most notably amputated/prosthetic limbs and visual impairment. a lot (actually most) of the characters also deal with mental health issues, particularly coping with severe trauma and suicidal ideation/behaviour.

• the show has been praised for addressing difficult and serious themes like toxic masculinity, colonialism, and self-discovery, all while still managing to be a witty comedy and not come across as “preachy.”

• the diversity also extends off-screen, with a team of directors, writers, and additional crew comprised of numerous bipoc, women, queer people, and trans/non-binary people.

my point isn’t just the quantity of representation, but the quality. they take great care and respect into every marginalized group depicted on-screen. the actors would often be consulted about their characters’ costumes, hair, tattoos, and the kind of language they use. it’s not a world where discrimination magically doesn’t exist, they just have zero tolerance for it. if a character does something homophobic or racist, you can guarantee they’ll quickly (and often violently) be punished.

so okay, sure, it’s got great representation. what does that have to do max cancelling it?

because they’ve been interfering with production from the start.

i already mentioned the marketing issues so i won’t get into that. it was also revealed in interviews with david jenkins after season 2 that hbo cut their budget by 40%, which is why they had to do everything they could to save money. this included letting go of some of the original cast (and even still having episodes where some of them don’t appear at all) and moving the entire production to AoNZ. the budget cuts also meant two less episodes, so they had to rush to fit an entire season’s worth of plot into eight half-hour long episodes.

but one of the biggest frustrations is hbo’s (alleged) censorship of the show. samba schutte revealed that the entire plot of episode 2x06 was completely different in the original script. before it was rewritten as “calypso’s birthday,” the episode took place during lucius & pete’s wedding and focused on the crew getting sick of the sexual tension between ed & stede and trying to get them to hook up (this aligned with lucius & pete getting engaged and ed & stede deciding to take things slow in the previous episode).

vico ortiz and writer jes tom have also commented that many scenes between jim, oluwande, and archie establishing them as a polycule were cut, including one of the three of them emerging from a bedroom in their underwear. jes has mentioned other elements of season 2 that had to be cut out or rewritten, like the implication of other poly dynamics between the crew and more sexually explicit scenarios and jokes.

considering that ofmd is an extremely sex-positive show that isn’t afraid to be raunchy or taboo, it’s clear that either higher-ups at hbo forced them to cut these things out or they had no choice but to cut them out due to tight budget/time restraints.

in addition to this, a recent article citing an “anonymous insider” has alleged that hbo was uncomfortable with and was unsure how to market the “shock violence” in the show (the same network that aired game of thrones), which david jenkins outright called out as being bullshit. ofmd is rated TV-MA and the posters and trailers all show the audience that it contains violent content. there is literally nothing more graphic in ofmd than any other pirate show — it’s probably a lot tamer than most of them, actually.

violence on the show is most frequently used in a comedic context, in the sense that it’s not meant to be seen as scary or taken seriously. the few instances of serious graphic imagery on the show are meant to invoke a mood shift, like ed’s transformation into the kraken or ned low’s murder. it should also be noted that some of the most graphic deaths are reserved for bigots, like ed snapping the neck of a colonizer who was ridiculing stede’s love letter.

it’s also most often used in a sexual context — not sexual violence, but violence as a sexual metaphor. more specifically the act of stabbing as a metaphor for penetration, as seen with both ed & stede and anne & mary. bearing all this in mind, it seems like the real issue here isn’t executives struggling to market explicit violence to a mainstream audience, but rather explicit gay content.

as much as we joke and affectionately call it the “gay pirate show,” ofmd has always been nothing more than an opportunity for rainbow capitalism for hbo (e.g. the fact that they waited three months to announce season 2 just so they could do it on the first day of pride month). like other cancelled queer media, ofmd was a way for hbo executives to show how “inclusive” and “accepting” they are when it was convenient (aka profitable) for them, but they never actually respected the show or us as a community.

it’s impossible to be certain of what the exact reasoning for cancellation was, especially when they won’t give us a clear answer themselves. and maybe it had nothing to do with ofmd being a queer romcom at all. maybe that’s all a horrible coincidence. but for hbo/max to axe a critically acclaimed and beautifully inclusive show that’s successful by every metric, with an extremely devoted fanbase, especially after casey bloys just had the nerve to ask “gay twitter” to hype up the gilded age? it doesn’t exactly put them in the best light regardless.

in summary, i’ll leave you with this editorial, which details how the campaign to save ofmd isn’t just about one show, but a fight to save the future of all queer art.

#asks #anon #ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #renew as a crew #fuck david zaslav #queer media

[tiny-pretty-sana]

push and pull | jeongyeon x jihyo

[request 1] [request 2] pairing: jeongyeon x jihyo genre: plot with smut and a bit of angst warnings: nsfw (+18), minors dni, men dni tags: ceo!jeongyeon, ceo!jihyo, service top!jeongyeon, rival relationship, enemies to lovers (kinda?), betrayal, happy ending, other twice members w/c: 18.4 k a/n: first time writing smut, i'm nervous!! i'm also nervous bc i made jeongyeon a woman in stem and i'm not so i just used big words randomly. i tried to turn those requests into this and i hope i made justice to what you had in mind even though it took me longer way than i expected. feel free to leave any comments, feedback or suggestions 🖤

"You could have sent me a message" is the first thing Jeongyeon says to the woman who just entered her office bowing ninety degrees with a serious face. "This better be important, Mina-ssi, no one should see you enter this building" she says, warning the young woman.

She just nods as she looks for the right words thinking about the dialogue she has been practicing in her head since she decided to address this issue face to face without intermediaries. At first she hesitates, but decides to be clear instead of beating around the bush.

"Excuse me Jeongyeon-nim, but I think this will interest you" she finally speaks and the other waves her hand inviting her to sit across the table of her huge office, making her take a seat immediately before continuing. "ZoneTech is starting to work on video games."

As soon as those words leave her mouth, the Signal Systems CEO's face changes and her body takes on a different posture, her jaw tightens and her fists clench tightly. On the other side of the big desk Mina, analyzing her every move, notices her obvious frustration. For a few seconds she remains silent waiting for any question or comment from the other woman, but this one, who is somewhere between surprise and anger, does not utter a single sound beyond a breath that deepens and accelerates as the rage invades her. This is a personal attack. It’s not the first time something like this has happened; after all, this whole war has been going on for more than half a century.

In 1942, friends and partners in business, Yoo Byungho and Park Youngho, opened a home furnishings store. At that time, the country was going through difficult times with the Japanese occupation and the subsequent Korean War that led to so many years of political instability, but thanks to Yoo's creativity and Park's sales skills, the business not only survived but grew from a humble store to a small and promising company. In the early 1960s, a new era of prosperity would come for the country and for these entrepreneurs as well when they expanded the business importing and selling  household appliances, founding Zone Systems. Unfortunately, due to constant disagreements between Yoo Byungho and Park Youngho, this pioneering company would not reach its fifth anniversary, as the partners broke their alliance and created Signal Systems and ZoneTech, respectively. Against all odds, taking different paths was the key to success for both.

Today, Signal Systems and ZoneTech have established themselves as the most important companies in the country, having a great influence on economic, political and cultural development. Despite the impressive achievements of each of them individually, it is impossible to talk about one without mentioning the other, the reason for this is not the shared origins but the numbers, data and rankings always place one behind the other with slight difference, if one year the market has been dominated by ZoneTech, it is most likely that the following year those numbers will be surpassed by Signal Systems. If you ask any technology expert, economic expert or ordinary consumer which brand is better, the answer will never be unanimous.

And it is a really complex answer since both cover the same businesses such as consumer electronics, technology, finance and, in recent years, have incorporated entertainment. The only thing that makes them different is that SignalSystems is known for creating and using the most advanced technology always wrapped in the most sophisticated designs, while ZoneTech stands out for making that technology accessible to the general public with more affordable prices and more practical designs.

This is how a disagreement between partners has now become a war between the largest South Korean business groups, a battle that has been going on for six decades and in which four generations of the Yoo and Park families have already participated. A dispute that is now at its peak since the great-granddaughters of the two businessmen, Yoo Jeongyeon and Park Jihyo, took over as CEO, and, like their ancestors, they were friends before they were rivals.

"How do you know?" is the first thing she asks.

"Well, as you know I am a programmer. This last month they have been doing individual interviews to workers from each of the departments telling us that they are looking for new ways to organize the work teams according to our interests, aptitudes and skills, since they want to release different products next year and they need the highest efficiency" she begins to explain confusing Jeongyeon, who doesn't quite understand what Mina is trying to say with all of this. Still she listens to her carefully trying to get answers.

"At first they were normal questions about our work interests and whether we had hobbies related to our work, but when I mentioned my liking for video games they seemed interested. The questions started out generic... what kind of video games I play and so on, but then they asked me if I think the company would have the capacity to create their own games and if I would be interested in working on that hypothetical project" she seems to conclude.

The CEO, with an increasing anger, gets up from the desk without knowing what to do with her hands and tries to calm down her nerves before speaking "I want information, I want data and I want documents that prove what you tell me, that's what I pay you for, not for you to come to me with assumptions''. At no time she raises her voice, but her tone is stern and threatening, although not enough for the programmer to lose her signature serene demeanor.

"I know, that's why I didn’t come until now" she replies "I was handed this morning" she says as she takes a folder out of her briefcase and puts it on the table.

Seeing that it is a folder with the orange logo of the rival company neatly printed and partially covered by a red and black stamp warning that it is confidential information, she returns to her chair and takes the papers in her hands. A quick read is all it takes for Jeongyeon to come to the same conclusion as her informant "ZoneTech is going to create a video game" she mutters to herself. As she reads her jaw tightens again and her fists clench the pages until she stands up and begins to scan each page. When she has a copy of the thirty pages that make up the document, she places them back in the folder and returns it to its owner.

"You may leave, Mina-ssi" is the last thing her boss says and she does what she is told, taking the folder and her briefcase, not without bowing before walking through the door.

Once she is alone in her office, she goes through the papers again, this time more carefully and without losing detail. Unlike Park Jihyo, she does get involved in the development process of many products, as both her hobbies and her studies have always leaned towards engineering and programming and not on business and economics like her rival. In fact, the ten video games that have been released in the last three years under the Signal Games brand were Yoo Jeongyeon's own idea and creation, who saw an opportunity in this market in which the company never dared to venture before. Perhaps this is why she gets the best of her for the first time and grabs the phone.

"Dahyun-ssi, I need the usual apology basket for Miss Im, but this time write ‘thank you’ on the card" she asks her secretary.

Just a few meters away from the door of her office, Kim Dahyun tries to hide her surprise and takes note of the instructions given by her boss "Okay, you will have the basket ready in an hour. Should I also add the usual bouquet with flowers that mean friendship, or would you rather I also exchange them for thank yous?"?"

"Mhm… good point, Dahyun-ssi, I hadn't thought of that. Use both of them and add some blue if possible, I trust you. When it's ready, send everything to her home and also free up my schedule for the rest of the day. Thank you very much."

Of course, the favor she asks to her longtime best friend, Nayeon, costs her more than a basket of her favorite foreign snacks, three packages of the best meat on the continent and of course the latest model of the Signal System cell phone. ₩ 10 billion for his next movie is exactly what it costs her. That is the price of Jihyo's personal phone number. For anyone else it would be crazy, but for the CEO, who was putting her friend in such a compromising situation after the latter had for years stayed out of the fights between them, the price seems more than reasonable.

The negotiation was not easy, but as soon as Nayeon had the basket on her doors and the first payment for the financing for her next film project, Jeongyeon received a message with the phone number. Minutes later, at the other end of the Central Business District, Park Jihyo smiles with satisfaction when her phone lights up with the name: Yoo Jeongyeon.

"I was waiting for your call, Jeongyeon-ssi" is what Jeongyeon hears after a single tone.

"Then I'll save the explanations, I have an offer. It will have to be face to face and just the two of us. As soon as possible. I want neither intermediaries nor interveners."

"Where will we meet? You know perfectly well that if we are seen in the same building the effect on the stock market would be immediate, but if we do it in secret and the press catches us it will be all over the news making all kinds of assumptions and spreading all kinds of rumors. And I don't think your father would like that, would he?" she says with a sarcastic and mocking tone.

"Jihyo-sunbaenim, I'm not for your stupid games right now" she says with a tone that denotes that her patience at the moment is at its limit. "I'll take care of the place, it will be neutral, casual and public enough so as not to raise more suspicion than is necessary. Try to keep it discreet and of course don't wear or bring anything that would imply that this is a business related meeting" she makes clear with a serious tone that only provokes Jihyo more to keep pushing Jeongyeon's buttons.

"And why would you and I be in one place if not for work?" she says with obvious sarcasm in her tone that doesn't go unnoticed by the other one. 

"We can just be some old friends getting together to catch up" as soon as she says that a loud and snarky laugh is heard but no words precede it, so she keeps talking. "I'll send you the address, see you there" she declares.

"Wait!" she says before she can cut the call "Did you have my contact saved or did your spy give it to you?" she adds but before she gets an answer she hears a few beeps indicating that the call has ended.

That’s how the first private conversation the two have had in four years ends, a conversation that leaves both of them with such a strange feeling. It's not as if they haven't spoken during all this time, they have actually crossed some words on more than one occasion during all kinds of events acting as complete strangers with empty words without any purpose beyond showing a cordial and polite relationship in front of colleagues, business partners, politicians and the press. Now, although the conversation was brief and straight to the point it felt personal somehow with the warnings, the sarcasm and the challenging undertones of the conversation that is never present or at least not so obvious in the formal and aseptic talks they usually have in front of others.

It was almost like going back to that usual bickering between the two that used to annoy Nayeon during their high school years when the three of them were inseparable friends. However, the difference was that this time it did not come from playfulness but from the current hostility that exists between the two businesswomen.

There was a time when things were different. It had always been Jeongyeon and Nayeon until the first week of their senior year when they were approached by a short girl with big bright eyes that introduced herself to Jeongyeon even though they both perfectly knew well who the other was and with determination told her that she would be as good or better then her. From that day their friendship but also a friendly competition between the three of them began. By the middle of the school year, Jihyo had already surpassed the highest grades and top scores in all the clubs and sports that up to then belonged to his unnies Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

This situation, far from distancing or confronting them, made them get closer and become great friends. Despite the rivalry that had marked the relationship between their families, Jeongyeon did not mind because she expected the new students to beat records and records just as she had done since she arrived. On the other hand, Nayeon enjoyed having someone as competitive as her while Jihyo did not really care as she considered Jeongyeon her greatest competition and example to follow because, like her, she would inherit a big company and had to be as good as her. This was not the case with Nayeon, who, although she had an impressive academic record like the other two, she was the daughter of an actor and a writer, so outside of school their competition was a simple game with no major meaning for both of them.

Needless to say, many things have changed over the years and nothing is the same now. Nayeon has been there for both of them as a friend, confidant partner in crime and sometimes even as a wingwoman, but they are no longer '3mix' as they used to call their small squad. Now they are just Nayeon and Jeongyeon on one side and Nayeon and Jihyo on the other.

Two days after the call, the two find themselves staring defiantly at each other in one of the best restaurants in the city. The older one arrived early and was already seated in a more distant and private corner of the establishment when Jihyo arrived led by some waiter. As soon as he left, they exchanged a cordial greeting and the first words.

"So a restaurant," is the first thing Jihyo says with a provocative smile as she takes a seat.

"Can you think of anything better? I thought you usually like my ideas quite a bit" she replies immediately without thinking much and as soon as those words leave her mouth she regrets it, she has come here to look for solutions not to make the whole situation worse.

"It's not a complaint, but don't think that by inviting me to dinner I'll take you up on your offer" she replies in the same defensive tone.

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes at Jihyo's unassertive attitude, although she understands that she herself has not been very welcoming so far. They haven't even ordered yet, so there's still time to change the course of the conversation and the dinner, so she intends to do her best to leave this restaurant with a closed deal and not a fight that will make the problem grow even bigger. And she knows for a fact that falling for Jihyo's games will only make things worse.

As if the waiter had heard her thoughts, he appears with the menu giving them a chance to make a fresh start and forget the little run-in they had just a few seconds ago. They both take it, thanking the waiter and strat going through the expensive and exclusive dishes, looking up from time to time to stare at each other, as if making sure that they are really at the same table about to share a dinner, just the two of them with no one else around. The last time they did something like this was so long ago that it seems like a dream, as if those memories are not theirs. Jeongyeon looks at her trying to read her, long ago a single grin, frown or sneer was enough to guess her mood or if something was on her mind, but now it almost feels like the person in front of her is a complete stranger.

Jihyo is no longer the enthusiastic, competitive, playful but insecure and innocent teenager who used to call her unnie with those big bright eyes, those cheeks that made you want to pinch them and her characteristic long brown hair. Now she has an ambitious and confident woman in front of her, still with reminiscences of her playful personality, it is obvious that she still likes to play games, but they are not innocent anymore.

She knows what she wants and does whatever it takes to get it, that is something she has made that clear to Jeongyeon these past years with her mind games, strategies and foul play. The sparkle in her eyes has disappeared and they are no longer so expressive, the gaze is cold and she feels like she is analyzing each and every one of her moves. Her appearance seems to have changed according to her personality, it is obvious that she looks much more mature, she is now a 26 year old woman, but it is not only the passing of time, her look is also a statement.

Her hair is shoulder-length, a little longer than hers, and dyed black. Her features are more defined and her jaw is sharp, her characteristic cheeks have disappeared with age, but her mole is still on the tip of her nose. Actually, her whole body is much more defined even though the black blazer style dress she wears covers her arms, Jeongyeon got a glimpse of her toned and tanned legs before she sat down.

"You look great, Jihyo-sunbaenim" she compliments her to break the ice and tries to show that she didn’t come here looking for a challenge or a fight.

This catches the younger one off guard, surprising her, none of the thousand scenarios of the encounter she has been creating in her head these days had prepared her to receive a kind comment from Jeongyeon that seemed sincere. She has always been a person with a cold and distant attitude, saying nice words, giving or receiving displays of affection is not her thing, or at least it wasn't. Maybe she has changed too, Jihyo thinks to herself.

"You too, you look good, Jeongyeon-ssi" she replies with a small smile without showing her teeth and takes the liberty to tease. "I see your style has been refined, I hope your dad didn't have to burn your sweatshirts like she used to promise."

The comment makes them both relax and the tension dissipates slightly with their soft laughter, for a moment they seem to know each other and it’s like nothing has happened between them just for a few seconds.

When they were teenagers and were forced to attend all types of social and business related events, it was common to see Jeongyeon wearing a sweatshirt among the elegant women's dresses and the boring men's suits. That always annoyed her father, but also the young Jihyo who would always lectured her about the importance of etiquette and reminded her that in the future she would be the heiress of an important company, so she should dress like one.

Now Jeongyeon is in front of her and still keeps a somewhat more casual style than expected from the CEO of one of the biggest South Korean companies with her blonde highlights in some parts of her hair and her characteristic tomboy style, now much more sophisticated. Black pants, a beige shirt with a brown turtleneck sweater underneath. Comfortable and discreet, but it really suits her.

Jihyo shakes those thoughts out of her head when the taller one asks if she would like to have the same wine as her. Usually, Jihyo would order a beer, but in a restaurant like this it's more suitable if she orders wine, especially when Jeongyeon points out the wine she chose would go very well with her meat. It kind of hurts her pride but she knows she is right.

After the waiter takes their order they continue a conversation so superficial that they will surely forget it before dessert, however they do not take their eyes off each other analyzing and memorizing every movement, no matter how subtle it may be. It is not until they drink their second glass of wine that Jihyo dares to talk about the reason that has brought them here, or rather to ask what it is.

"I’m guessing you didn't invite me to dinner to talk about wine," Jihyo says with a slightly sarcastic tone. "What's that offer you mentioned? It must be very interesting for you to have dared to call me and even put Nayeon-unnie in the middle of it."

At this Jeongyeon nods "Always straight to the point, some things never change" she says receiving a shrug in response. "Well let's get down to business then...". She takes a a long sip and says "Forget about video games and in return Signal Entertainment will disappear from the industry with the only condition that the group becomes part of your company, with no cost, those girls have worked hard and are succeeding, it wouldn't be fair to them" she states in the shortest and most concise way possible.

For the first time since they sat down, Jeongyeon can read Jihyo's expression, the surprise on her face is more than obvious, but it soon changes to one of satisfaction. Her strategy was working like a charm, even much better than she expected.

"I knew the video game thing would get you to react right away, but I have to admit I'm getting more than I intended" she says amused "Actually some things never change, you're still the same nerd you were in high school" she laughs.

"Do we have a deal then?" she asks, ignoring her remark.

"Not so fast. If I remember correctly your Itzy girls debuted a year after ZoneMusic debuted StrayKids...if we brought our own video games to market we'd be balancing the scales don't you think?" she says, unable to help grinning. "Why would I turn down the chance to beat you on your own ground?" she adds defiantly.

"I didn't want to get to this part of the deal, but if you don't accept it I will file a lawsuit against ZoneTech for plagiarizing our technology and using it in your products on more than one occasion."

"I didn't know you were capable of taking risks, it seems that there are also things that change" she says completely carefree and even amused, for her this is a game, but for Jeongyeon it is not.

"I promise you I don't want to do it, but if necessary I will go all the way because it's a won case."

"You seem very confident, you know the best law firms would fight over the case and it wouldn't stay in court. It would be all over the media and it would end up becoming a public trial."

"I know, and that's why I want to avoid it. The evidence is more than obvious, without getting too technical, your products have always come out later and I have proof that you have spies in my company."

At this last statement, Jihyo lets out a wry laugh "You say that as if you don't have your own spies lurking around my company, in fact we are here because of one of them, aren't we?"

"I don't know, can you prove it?" challenges Jeongyeon. "Because I have recordings and audios that prove that discarded programs, software and designs have been stolen from me and then used by your company" as she says this, thebCEO can see her rival's face change even though she tries to hide it as best she can. "I have more than enough with the information, I don't need my... informants to steal and if they did I would like to think they would do it better than this girl, I don't know if you are familiar with the name Son Chaeyoung, short, dyed black her and plenty of tattoos."

Of course she knows who the girl she is talking about is, the same way she knows that Myoui Mina is the one who gave her the video game information, but there is no way to prove it since that information was shared with fifty other workers. Fortunately for Chaeyoung, Jeongyeon has better plans for her if Jihyo accepts her offer, her work as a designer is so good that she intends to come to an agreement with her before she ends up working for ZoneTech, but unfortunately for Park Jihyo, the tattooed girl is not so good when it comes to computer science, espionage and keeping secrets. Chaeyoung was recently caught on the servers floor trying – unsuccessfully – to steal a software program, and who caught her was none other than Minatozaki Sana, ZoneTech's receptionist, but a computer scientist and shadow informant for Signal Systems.

According to the Japanese woman, despite her boss Yoo's request not to go into details, she only needed to unbutton a couple of buttons on her shirt and a couple of innuendos for the short girl to end up on her bed showing her all her tattoos and confessing to her what a designer was doing with a laptop and a bunch of cables on the server floor in an attempt to impress her.

This same story, although omitting quite a few details, is what Jeongyeon tells Jihyo to show her that she is not playing a game and that she is totally being serious, but Park is stubborn and the conversation continues until dessert arrives. The older one assures her that any judge would eventually be on her side, she even invites her to check with her own lawyers before giving her an answer. She also assures her that she would not like to have to solve it in court because it would be a long and tedious process for both of them regardless of who wins. She reminds her of the fuss that would be caused and that the legal process itself would be nothing compared to having the media on their backs for months digging up dirt of the company, their family and even personal issues that may or may not be a lie would come into play. And in this sense, they both know that it would only be enough for their personal interests to be exposed for their public image and status to be seriously damaged.

Jihyo is confident that she could get some good lawyers and the possibility of a billion won lawsuit does not worry her; however, the damage it could cause to the company's image and her family's legacy and especially the work her father did, worries her and is what makes her consider Jeongyeon's words. If the theft of information and espionage were to come to public knowledge, she should prepare herself for the worst.

"Think about it, Jihyo-ah," Jeongyeon says, dropping the formalities, once again rendering the other speechless, she just takes a sip of her wine instead. "I know I have no right to ask you to trust me, but we were once friends and I wouldn't want this senseless family war to continue for another sixty years."

"And your way of ending it is to sue me?" she says in disbelief.

"It's not like that, I've offered you a deal that you know would benefit both of us. You've always loved music as much as I love video games, we both win".

All of this is not enough to convince her when she does not trust the person in front of her, there is something that makes her distrustful, it seems all too simple to end four years of hatred between them. Why now? Why all of a sudden? Is this all about stupid video games or are they just a way to build bridges between companies? Is this all a strategy? Is this all a strategy? are some of the questions that go through her mind.

"How do I know I can trust you?".

"First of all, Nayeon-unnie would finish me off if I tried to hurt you, carrying out the lawsuit would mean ending a friendship of over 20 years. But if that's not enough to convince you, I can show you all the evidence I could present against you, so you can see that I'm serious about this. Obviously it would be stupid to give them to you since I would be helping you prepare a good defense, but if you come to my place I will show everything to you. Even the security videos and recordings of Son Chaeyoung. You just have to set a day for me."

"I want to see them now," she replies resolutely.

This time it is Jeongyeon who is caught by surprise, she did not expect to receive such an immediate response. It is rushed but true to her word, Jeongyeon pays for the luxurious dinner and they both leave the restaurant catching some curious glances and hearing some murmurs in the background.

"I guess you didn't come driving in those heels" says Jeongyeon as she looks up and down her perfectly sculpted legs "I can give you a ride and then I'll have someone drive you back to your house". 

She takes some time to actually give her an answer. Under normal circumstances, Jihyo wouldn't accept the favor as she prefers to do things her own way, but under normal circumstances she wouldn't be going to her former friend's house on a Friday night either, so she agrees and they both leave in the same car after Jihyo gives her driver and bodyguard the night off.

The drive to Jeongyeon's house is longer than expected but they barely exchange a few words and just stare at the road while listening to music. The music is soft, perfect for driving at night. The volume is loud enough so that they don't have to engage in conversation, but none of them are able to pay attention to it when all they are able to hear are their own thoughts. They have met again, they have talked after a long time, the deal, the lawsuit… but also the compliments, the teasing and the bickering. There are so many things to think about and so many feelings to process, they don't even know how they feel about what's going on. 

At last they arrive, Jeongyeon's house, unlike hers, is on the outskirts of the city, in one of the most expensive districts of the capital, although her own luxurious duplex apartment in the city center probably cost the same as this huge, modern house. It really suits her, Jihyo thinks as she gets inside, led by the taller one. She's never been much of a sociable person, but she doesn't like to be isolated either, and though she may boast a simple lifestyle, she wouldn’t give up the comforts that her family's money and status have brought her. After all, that is how they both grew up and it is all they know. It is in an area away from the hustle and bustle of the city but not far away you can see luxurious homes and the occasional mansion. The interior as well as the exterior has a modern and contemporary design with the newest and most advanced technology in every corner from the living room to the kitchen where they are now.

"Beer right?" she asks, earning a confused look from Jihyo, when they were friends she wasn't old enough to drink and lately they hadn't shared any context casual enough for her to know about her fondness for beer. Jeongyeon seems to read her mind and while opening the fridge she simply says "The cans that Nayeon-unnie keeps in her fridge" she clarifies, of course that was it, although the two pretend the other doesn't exist on a daily basis, when they are spending time with their friend sometimes it is inevitable that she briefly mentions the other or or remember her existence, especially when there is a space in Nayeon's fridge reserved exclusively for the beers and soju she usually drinks with Jihyo.

Despite cutting off any personal relationship between them, they have never stopped being present in each other's lives either for work or for their best friend. A fact that makes Jeongyeon's decision decisive, this situation must end no matter what, we can't go on fighting all our lives.

She offers her the beer and instructs her to follow her to her office, once there she asks her to turn around to open the strongbox where she has all the evidence she would use in case the lawsuit goes through. When she is able to look again she finds before her a series of folders stacked one on top of the other rising about 20 centimeters above the table, several hard drives and also CDs. Jihyo assumes that they are actually the same contents in different formats, knowing the cautious nature of the woman next to her, it is an assumption but also a wish. In front of her is what could bring her career, her company, her family and her legacy to an end. It is at this exact moment and without yet diving into the documents that she becomes fully aware of the gravity of the situation.

She could try to defend herself against every attack and will do so if necessary, but she is not so arrogant as to think she would come out unscathed. She knows full well that the damage it would cause would be fatal even if she could strike back with every blow, and that would mean the end for ZoneTech and for Signal Systems as well.

"Go ahead, take a seat" Jeongyeon invites her knowing that she is in full control of the situation right now.

"Can I see everything?" she says looking directly at Jeongyeon and from the expression on her face, Jeongyeon doesn't know if she is genuinely asking her permission or if she is testing her to see if this is not some trick.

"If you're going to go through all the documents, I guess we'd better get comfortable. Let's go to the living room."

So that is what they do. After reaching an agreement for Jihyo to leave their cell phones away from her, they both get comfortable in the living room, each one with a beer in one hand and several folders in the other. Although the tension is not the same as it was at the beginning of the evening, neither one of them trusts the other, the tension is in the air. Jeongyeon, in addition to making Jihyo leave her cell phones in another room, doesn't take her eyes off her and the latter can't help but look over the documents to see what the other is doing.

From time to time Jihyo, not being well versed in the subject, asks Jeongyeon some questions and she has no problem in resolving her doubts. Soon they open the second beer and between the questions and the occasional accusation of plagiarizing each other's products and marketing strategies on both sides, they also start to mention some anecdotes from the past and on occasion they share things about their current life without going into details.

It's getting later and later, but the activity, conversation and beers keep them going for the time being. Jeongyeon is actually taken by surprise by Jihyo's determination, she is really willing to read every single document, she is already on the fourth folder and still has three more to go plus videos, recordings and images. The older one could leave the other one going through everything alone while she does something other than look at her while attentively reading documents with a frown on her face, making the same expression that appears on her face when she tastes food she likes, just like she did sometime during dinner and a few hours ago with the first sip of beer.

She could give her space, but at the end of the day, it's not as awkward as she'd hoped but she also knows she has to be cautious because any misstep could ruin everything. And, although she'd never admit it, she'd rather be talking and catching up by pretending for a moment that their friendship never broke up, rather than explaining stuff about technology on a Friday night after two glasses of wine and a few cans of beer.

"Are you really planning to read the whole thing? Aren't you tired?" she asks with honest concern.

"If you want me to leave, just say so," she says, finishing the can of beer in one gulp. "But I need to know what I'd have to deal with. I don't think you'd be thinking about sleeping either if you were in my situation."

"That's not what I mean, I mean if you're not tired of all this – aren't you tired of trying to outdo me at everything?"

At this unexpected question Jihyo just bursts out laughing "Oh my god, I didn't have you down as someone this self-centered. Do you really think this whole situation is about me trying to prove I'm better than you?"

"Well I think it's pretty obvious, in fact, if memory serves me correctly, the first thing you told us after saying your name to us is that you would be as good as us in everything. Soon after that I remember you had the highest grades in high school and beat our records in soccer, archery and athletics" as Jeongyeon recalls, on the other side of the couch, Jihyo looks at her in disbelief frowning and holding the bridge of her nose while listening to her. "I know that was like a game, it was our thing and you outdid me in everything, but we are adults now, we can't be playing games or fooling around. I think it's time to accept that this isn't getting anywhere, no one is winning here."

"Are you drunk already or are you still just as dense?" is what comes out of Jihyo's mouth almost unconsciously and she instantly regrets it and takes a breath before starting over. "Sorry that came out harsher than I intended. What I mean is that you haven't really changed, have you? You've always understood numbers, computers, video games and all that like no one else, but when it comes to people..."

"What do you mean?"

"This has never been about me trying to be better than you or beating you, well now it is but it's not about you, it's about doing my job and keeping my company at the top" she states and adds “and certainly the fact that it's you makes it all the more entertaining”.

Jeongyeon ust rolls her eyes at that last remark.

"You should know better after what happened" she says without going any deeper into the subject because it's not necessary for the other to understand what she's referring to. "It's really frustrating that you don't realize the things you have right in front of your eyes, I've never known if you're really unaware or if you're faking it" she sighs. "Knowing that I would be in the same high school as the heiress of the rival company and my family's enemies, needless to say I wanted to be better than you, but you didn't treat me as such so before I knew it we became friends and we were getting closer each day.  I only saw you as my rival the first week, it didn't take you long to become my role model".

"Role model?" is surprised Jeongyeon as she approaches Jihyo, feeling curious to know the younger girl's side of the story and to know what she means when she says she doesn't realize things.

"Think about it, your future and mine were going to be quite similar. Heiress to one of the biggest companies in the country, the first woman to be in charge and you were older than me. You had the best grades, records in most sports, captain of the soccer team and participated in dozens of clubs. I looked up to you and wanted to follow in your footsteps because I knew they were the right ones, I didn't want to beat you, I aspired to be as good as you".

Jihyo's heart is racing as her story progresses because even though nothing new is going to come to light. There are things that are still unresolved, conversations that were never had and wounds that remain unhealed that she doesn't want to think about. Her heart doesn't race much faster than Jeongyeon who knows as much as she does what she's about to hear.

"But we both know it was more than just admiration, I loved you and just wanted to be good enough for you. I-"

Right when Jihyo is in the middle of her confession, a wave of feelings hits Jeongyeon throwing her to the lips of the woman in front of her looking at her with those big and expressive brown eyes. It takes a few seconds for Jihyo to realize what is happening but when she does she doesn't move away, instead she lets herself go and closes her eyes ignoring all the alarms going off in her mind. It's a timid kiss, their lips don't even move until Jeongyeon takes the lead. At first her kisses, like her movements, are delicate and tentative giving Jihyo room to stop her at any moment, but this doesn't happen.  They both know that the sensible thing to do would be to stop, but they don't know how to do it, they can't do it. It seems that tonight the two of them are letting each other break through all the walls and for a moment they forget about the world and their problems. It feels too right to be a mistake.

Their lips feel so familiar it makes their hearts ache. Their mouths taste like beer, memories and regrets. The taste of the past on their lips is so strong that it makes them pause.  For a few seconds they exchange glances, catch their breaths and look for any sign that makes them stop or a gesture that invites them to continue. Jihyo is the first to speak after coming to her senses.

"What the fuck Jeongyeon?" she wonders out loud.

All that confidence she had when she threw herself at the younger one's lips vanishes right after hearing her words. 

"I'm sorry!" she exclaims with hesitant and nervous gestures. "I thought... I shouldn't have-"

This time it is Jihyo who interrupts her, but not with a kiss but with a statement that surprises her even more. 

"I thought you hated me," she admits. 

"What? I have never hated you, Jihyo" she replies somewhat more relaxed and looking into her eyes with honesty. 

"I have...sometimes I still do" she confesses leaving Jeongyeon stunned. 

"In that case it's better to stop here and forget about what happened. I'll take you home" she says, trying to brush it off and getting up from the couch, obviously trying to show indifference to Jihyo's words but she can see a slight pain in her eyes.

When she is about to get her car keys she feels a hand around her wrist and then turns around and sees Jihyo looking up at her with an amused smile "You didn't let me finish, I know we shouldn't do this, the last time we kissed things didn't end well" she says more as a reminder to herself than to Jeongyeon "that's what makes me want to hate you, no matter what you do you're always going to drive me crazy. I hate that you still have this effect on me." 

Hearing her words Jeongyeon's whole body heats up and she can feel her cheeks burning as she hears the low tone of Jihyo's voice, she doesn't know what to reply and the other one isn't sure if she wants to hear what she has to say. Before she can give her an answer she pulls her arm pushing her towards the couch right next to her. 

Are you sure?" asks Jeonyeon "We can stop if you want, at any time and we can forget about everything that has happened since you walked in the door."

"Unnie..." she replies lowering her tone and leaving Jeongyeon speechless, she no longer remembered how the word sounded coming from Jihyo's mouth. "Let's forget everything that happened before we walked through that door, just don't hurt me this time" she pleads with a sigh, letting herself look vulnerable like she never did before. 

In front of her is no longer the successful and intimidating CEO who occasionally makes her job impossible. Gone is his cold, distant and inaccessible image. It is simply Jihyo, who asks her to guard her heart, to tear down her walls to let her pass and remind her that she is the woman who never fails to make her heart race, who takes her breath away, who makes her head spin and gives her butterflies in her stomach.  

She knows perfectly well why all she is asking her not to hurt her, she doesn't need to explain it to Jeongyeon to understand what she means. But before she can give her an answer as reassurance, other than nodding her head, it is Jihyo who makes the first move.

This time it is not so sudden, the movements are smoother, they take their time to place themselves in a more comfortable position, still keeping a safe distance between them. She doesn't know what time it is or how far she is willing to go, but she doesn't want this to come to an end, she wants to savor every moment without rushing. She touches Jeongyeon as if she wants to check that she is really there, that she is not a memory and that she is not going to vanish from one moment to the next as she has done so many times before. She doesn't know what time it is or how far she is willing to go, but she doesn't want it to end. She touches Jeongyeon slowly as if she is memorizing every fold of her clothes with her hands, as if she is afraid that it is really a dream that could vanish at any moment. The taller one lets herself be touched without putting up any resistance, she lets Jihyo take the lead, she knows she needs control right now and is willing to give it to her – for now – .

The younger one gently caresses her cheek, tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and moves her hand down to her collarbones. Her fingers slowly snake around his neck and when she squeezes lightly at last Jeongyeon reacts by letting out a soft whimper. As she maintains her grip, his eyes travel from his own hand to the lips of the woman whose neck she grips as delicately as she does precisely and then to her eyes, where he sees something she hadn't seen before. Immediately the grip on her neck tightens a little more and Jihyo moves until she ends up on her thighs, straddling her. 

"If you hurt me it's over" this time it doesn't sound like a plea at all but more like a threat and Jeongyeon has a feeling it won't be the first one she'll hear tonight. 

"Yes ma'am" Jeongyeon whispers, unable to help but smile, far from being uncomfortable in the position she is in.

As soon as these words leave her mouth, Jihyo releases her neck to grab her shirt and crush their lips together in a hungry kiss. This time it's deeper and more passionate, but full of emotions like the first one of the night. Their lips explore each other again with kisses that are increasingly impatient, heated and wet creating sounds that fill the silent room.

Shortly their tongues start to get involved exploring every inch of their mouths moving in perfect synchrony. As they devour each other it is not their tongues fighting for dominance, but them fighting for control until Jihyo caresses the roof of her mouth with the tip of tongue leaving Jeongyeon at her mercy making her forget all about her little power game as the first moan escapes from her lips. Hearing the sound echoing against her mouth, Jihyo's hands clinging to his shirt pulling her closer and feels the heat coming off her skin as she wraps her arms around her neck. 

They kiss for what feels like hours pausing only to catch their breath or let out soft moans against each other's mouths. But their hands have barely explored each other's skin and not a single button or zipper has been undone yet. When eager kisses are not enough Jeongyeon's lips move from her mouth to her jaw and down to Jihyo's neck as she caresses the naked caramel skin of her exposed thighs.

When Jeongyeon starts tracing kisses all over her neck, Jihyo can no longer ignore the growing wetness between her legs especially when the kisses are accompanied by soft bites and licks that go all the way down to her chest, driving her crazy. 

"Take off my dress" she commands with a whisper against her ear before nibbling it, sending a shiver down Jeongyeon's spine. 

Then Jeongyeon without taking her mouth off her neck undoes the buttons of her black blazer style dress which fortunately stays closed with only two of them. This is the only moment when they stop kissing to help Jihyo undo her dress and throw it on the other side of the couch. This time they lock their eyes instead of their mouths, as they do so, they can't help but smile seeing each other's red and swollen lips. In Jeongyeon's case the image of Jihyo on top of her makes her mouth dry. The path her gaze follows begins at the hungry eyes and is followed by her glossy, wet lips, her neck painted with red marks that will soon begin to darken to purple and her body solely covered by a set of lacy black that leaves her breathless. It is the first time they have seen each other like this and Jeongyeon needs a few seconds to process this view.

She has Jihyo sitting on her thighs dressed only in her underwear which, despite being black, doesn't quite hide the wet spot between Jihyo's legs. Knowing that she is the reason for that wet spot makes Jeongyeon feel her own and squeeze her thighs in seeking some relief, this action doesn't go unnoticed by the woman on top of her who doesn't take long to tease her about it. 

"Do you like what you see? Tell me what you want" .

Jeongyeon just nods and stares without missing a single detail of her defined muscles, of how her chest rises in sync with her breathing and how her abs tighten as she continues stroking her thighs. It's impossible to have Jihyo in front of you like this and not want everything with her. 

"I-I want you" she stutters against his mouth.

It's not the response Jihyo expected to receive, but it satisfies her enough to return to kissing Jeongyeon impatiently, her kisses are accompanied by the subtle grind of her hips against her thighs. His hands run through her hair and grab it to guide his mouth to her chest but before working on her chest Jeongyeon is quick to unclasp her bra finally releasing her mouth-watering breasts to capture them with her mouth eagerly. The moan that escapes her as she feels the warmth of his tongue brushing against her nipple hardened by both the cold and the growing pleasure invites Jeongyeon to continue her ministrations and give attention to the other breast with one of her hands brushing her finger softly over the nub just to end up trapping it between two fingers, pinching it with a little pressure.

Her other hand, which just seconds ago was caressing her thighs, moves to her lower back keeping Jihyo in place but also testing new limits by sliding her hand inside her underwear. A touch that gives Jihyo goosebumps in anticipation for what is to come.   

Bodies exploring each other, blood rushing through their veins and breaths racing. The sound of wet kisses, labored breaths and muffled moans from each other's mouths is all they hear, but all their senses are getting the attention they need to push them further into each other.

Jeongyeon has her mouth busy playing, teasing, licking, sucking and nibbling on Jihyo's breasts as her hands grab and caress her by sinking their fingers into each other's bare skin. Most of the time her eyes are closed, unable to keep them open as the sounds coming from her mouth cause her mind to cloud and her core to throb. It's an overwhelming sensation, just like the desire that drives Jihyo to move her hips seeking more pleasure as she rubs her center against Jeongyeon's body, bringing herself to the brink. She notices the beads of sweat running down her chest and being caught by Jeongyeon's tongue, taking her to new places making her feel things she's never felt before, she's doing wonders with her mouth but right now she needs her somewhere else as she notices the building sensation in her stomach. She doesn't want it to end yet and like this, she needs more, she needs her.

Using the grip she has on the older girl's hair she pulls her away delighted by the image of Jeongyeon's wet mouth attached by a string of saliva to her nipple "Fuck..." she murmurs as she shifts her posture getting off her lap. At the loss of contact Jeongyeon whines and looks at her with pleading eyes making Jihyo grin "I would never have guessed you were this needy" she says as she moves her hand to Jeongyeon's face and grabs her by the jaw to devour her mouth before whispering "Get on your knees''. The words that come out of her mouth are halfway between command and plea as she sits back down on the couch, leaving a space between her slightly spread legs for Jeongyeon to position herself.

She doesn't need to repeat it a second time as it barely takes her time to position herself on the floor on her knees and between his legs. Due to the difference in height between them their faces are almost at the same height, but that doesn't matter when it is more than evident that Jihyo is in charge, even though she is the one in a more vulnerable position as she is the one who is almost naked and with her legs spread wide open exposing herself completely. Jeongyeon looks at her wanting to learn by heart every detail of her body, but behind her gaze there is more than just lust, there is admiration and adoration. She just watches without saying or doing anything, waiting for Jihyo's next command as she feels her whole body burning and a tingling sensation in her stomach as a result of the urge to please Jihyo in this way.

Not once does her hand loosen its hold on his jaw, only loosening it as Jeongyeon positions herself and once she is on her knees under her attentive and hungry gaze she uses her thumb to ghost over her lips, a motion that Jeongyeon immediately responds to by trapping the finger between her lips sucking it and stroking it with her tongue giving her a taste of what is to come. The warm, wet sensation of her mouth trapping his finger catches her breath and the ache between her thighs grows at the image and the contact of his fingers with the walls of her mouth. 

"I need you" she breathes as she slides her finger out of her mouth to take them into her own tasting Jeongyeon's mouth.

In her eyes, as in her words, what she senses is desire, hunger and lust. She wants this as much as she does and is willing to give it to her. Without looking away she caresses her legs from her ankles to the edge of her lacy panties, taking her time and switching between soft kisses and the occasional playful nibble. When he brings his mouth to her inner thigh to deposit a kiss he inhales Jihyo's scent, makes her light-headed and sends a shiver down to her own throbbing center.

She's dying to taste it, but she is not done with the teasing until she slides a finger along her clothed core, drawing a louder moan from her throat than before. It's embarrassing how sensitive and pent up she is to make sounds like that with a single touch. From that moment on she knows it won't last long as her whole body jerks from the light touch that has allowed her to feel her wetness despite the piece of cloth that still separates her from her target. 

That's when she finally decides to completely undress Jihyo and she, feeling the cold air against her uncomfortable and growing dampness, lets out a breathy whimper. Jeongyeon shoves a hand between her legs to spread them more in order to gain better access and to take a few seconds to revel in the image in front of her. Just inches from her eyes, nose and mouth is Jihyo's glistening sex that leaves her stunned. Intoxicated by what she sees, the smell of Jihyo's pleasure and the sensation of her own pleasure she finally reacts and looks her back up into Jihyo's eyes.  

"Can I?" she says, asking for permission.

"Please" she tries to say in a neutral tone that fails to hide the desperation to receive the attention she so strongly craves.

That's all it takes for Jeongyeon to bury her head between Jihyo's tanned legs.

She starts where she left off, with kisses and nibbles on her inner thighs slowly until her whimpers sound too needy to continue ignoring them and to prolong her torture. They seem to have come to an agreement because at that very moment she notices her hands grabbing her hair again to guide her to where she needs her the most. 

The first contact is a tentative lick with his flat tongue from bottom to top that stops before reaching her clit, that's enough for a moan to escape from her half-opened mouth. He repeats the action a couple more times at a slow pace, sliding his tongue between her folds and her slit and even teasing her hole but never reaching her bundle of nerves testing her limits once again, enjoying her every reaction and tasting her wetness. His hands do the same, sliding up and down caressing and grabbing her thighs, her hips, her torso, her chest and her ass without stopping anywhere, leaving caresses with his fingertips and sometimes gentle scratches.

Despite the pleasurable but torturous ministrations, Jihyo is loving every second, every lick and every rub, her moans getting louder and louder as the pleasure washes over her and the embarrassment of sounding desperate fades away. The sounds coming out of Jihyo and the wet sounds of which she herself is to blame motivate her to go one step further, sucking on her clit. As she does so she looks up so as not to miss a single detail of Jihyo's reaction. His act catches her by surprise, but her body is quicker to react than she is and it takes seconds for Jeongyeon to notice how the grip on her hair is tighter and how Jihyo's thighs now press the sides of her head covering her ears, even then she doesn't stop hearing Jihyo's moans. 

"Oh fuck right there, stop teasing" she sighs between moans guiding Jeongyeon's head between her legs. 

She continues licking, sucking and nibbling gently making her juices drip down her spit onto the couch and onto Jeonyeon's chin who notices how her own arousal becomes uncomfortable every time she makes a move however small and feels the seams of her pants rubbing against her hardening clit making her moan against her center.

For a first time together there is no awkwardness and Jeongyeon manages to hit all the right places swirling her tongue around her clit, lapping on her juices and dipping her tongue inside her only to remove it seconds later making her pussy clench around nothing. When she doesn't like something Jihyo lets you know right away and guides you with her words or by pulling your hair, she is also not shy when letting you know she is doing the right move in the perfect place by being much more vocal and also doesn't hesitate to praise her when she deserves it.

"Yes baby! just like that!" she moans loudly as Jeongyeon draws shapes onto her clit while she easily slides two fingers inside her. 

Jihyo feels herself getting closer and closer to her high and grinds her hips against her mouth as she pulls her as close as physically possible. Jeongyeon's fingers move faster and deeper reaching new places as she curls her fingers. This has Jihyo squirming under his touch making her feel light-headed and too close to the edge even if she is still fully dressed and untouched.

Making Jihyo feel so good, hearing her praises in between her loud moans as she begs for more, feeling her warm and wet insides, seeing how she is unable to maintain eye contact because she can't help but close her eyes and arch her body has her so dizzy and overwhelmed with her own sensations. When she hears her call her "baby" she can't help but slide her free hand between her legs and apply a little pressure teasing herself and focusing on her own heat instead of her aching knees. 

The mere hint of her fingers stroking over the fabric makes her jerk and gasps, sending vibrations to Jihyo's throbbing cunt. Totally intoxicated by her choking breaths and the scent of the woman trapping her between her legs, she doesn't even realize how his eyes are piercing her until she hears "Don't you dare." That makes her gulp pull her hand away immediately, but at no point do her fingers stop darting in and out of Jihyo who looks at her with a mischievous smile. 

"Sorry" she apologizes before going down on her again.

"Now be good and make me cum please" she says a little breathless and bites her lip when she feels his tongue again. "I will make you feel so good and you will cum when I give you permission baby." 

She swears that every time she hears that pet name come out of Jihyo's mouth she is about to cum, just like she is about to do thanks to her good work. Since Jeongyeon is back to accompanying the fingering with her tongue all over her thighs, folds and clit, Jihyo is soon back to being close to her release. 

"B-baby I'm so... close. Don't stop!" she cries out what is meant to be a warning, but she can't help it when she shatters as she reaches her orgasm.

All it takes for Jeongyeon to bring her to climax is suck on her swollen nub at the same time she curves her fingers deep inside her hitting her sweet spot. Her whole body arches completely tense just before she starts to jerk as she tugs Jeongyeon's hair with one hand and puts her other hand to her mouth in a futile attempt to silence the obscene scream she just let out, she doesn't say the name of the woman responsible for her screams but "baby". 

That doesn't stop Jeongyeon who continues her movements slowing down when she notices his legs squeezing her head and that's when she moves her mouth away just a few centimeters, she can still feel his breath against her middle as she allows her some time to come down from her high and doesn't take long to fill her thighs with kisses as she cleans her up a gesture that melts Jihyo's heart who sees for the first time this loving and sweet side of her unnie. 

At that moment she realizes where her hand is and finally lets go of Jeongyeon's hair who starts to feel a slight discomfort from all the tugging "I'm sorry" she whispers before pulling the collar of her shirt to kiss her again tasting herself first in her mouth and then on her cum covered fingers looking at Jeongyeon with hungry and lustful eyes that make her press her thighs against each other.

"Stop" Jihyo reminds her "You’ve been very good to me, let me make you feel good now. Where’s your room, unnie?" she asks her in a way that makes Jeongyeon feel some embarrassment for being treated this way by someone younger than her, making her blush because she is enjoying it more than she deems appropriate.

The second round is on the bed and barely lasts a few minutes. After Jihyo practically rips off Jeongyeon's clothes and gets on top of her making herself comfortable between her legs, Jihyo takes control and starts rubbing their slick centers while their mouths devour each other in an animalistic way. She is still sensitive from her first orgasm and Jeongyeon is already on the verge of cumming just by eating her out, so they cum in no time. In any other situation or with someone else it would have been almost embarrassing, but between them the situation far from feeling awkward feels right, safe and they even joke about it but not for long.

They go fast and they go slow, sometimes gentle and sometimes rougher trying different things, discovering each other's bodies, learning what the other likes as if they were trying to make up for all that lost time and those first times they didn't have together in one night. It doesn't take them long to recover from the earth shattering orgasm they've shared either, so the second round turns into a third and a fourth until they lose count of the kisses, caresses and orgasms they've given each other. As the night progresses they become more vocal and when they go for the last round they whisper sweet nothings to each other between kisses that are no longer about pleasure but about feeling each other. When their bodies are exhausted and their eyelids begin to close involuntarily the first rays of sun are rising through the trees and mountains. 

"Don't go" she blurts out without thinking and in an attempt to regain her composure adds "Get some sleep, you're too tired to go home, it's dangerous, you could cause an accident". 

"You say that like I'm going to drive" she giggles. "Just say you want me to stay" she pushes. 

"Why would I want that?" she says it trying to sound annoyed by the accusation, but she's too tired for it.

Jihyo shakes her head and smiles getting too close to her and her lips causing Jeongyeon to close her eyes in anticipation but instead of noticing a kiss she notices Jihyo's breath against her lips saying "You're such a tsundere... it's very charming honey."

Jeongyeon almost chokes when she hears the pet name, it's not the first one of the night, but it's the first one she doesn't say to her between moans. Maybe because she knows there is some truth in her words she doesn't talk back and just says "Just stay, we'll talk about this tomorrow" she says in a soothing voice as her eyes struggle to stay open at least until she hears Jihyo's answer, but she lies on her side turning her back to her as she doesn't feel ready to look her in the eyes in case he rejects her offer. 

"I'm staying, I missed you" he whispers as he hugs her from behind, spooning her.  Once again it is Jihyo who proves that she is the brave one between the two by daring to name what she feels and say it out loud exposing herself once again and being vulnerable in front of Jeongyeon even though she has promised herself a thousand times during this time that she would never do like this again, that she would protect her heart like she hadn't done in the past.

When she wakes up she notices a warm body on her body and she doesn't need to open her eyes to know who it is, Jihyo is still there and this time she is the one in his arms. Nor does she need to remember what has happened as the mixture of smells from the room and the sheets hits her invading her nostrils. She would swear she can feel Jihyo's taste on her tongue, his fingers ghosting over the skin of her back and even his fingers running through her hair sending a shiver up her back as she recreates moments from the night before in her head. The memories cut her breath away, but her mind soon travels elsewhere and the memories of the night are replaced by a compelling need to shower and change the sheets. Some habits never die, not even when Jihyo is naked in her bed. 

On any other occasion Jeongyeon would already be throwing the sheets in the washing machine, preparing breakfast and cleaning up the mess in the living room where the paperwork is piled up among some beer cans. However,the uncertainty and the thought that this was a slip-up or an unforgettable accident that would never happen again keeps her pinned to the bed more firmly than the grip of Jihyo's arms or the leg that is currently wrapped around her waist.

The woman above her keeping her warm and all her senses alert doesn't take much longer than her to wake up, but those minutes are enough for Jeongyeon to overthink about every possible scenario and about all the paths this can take from now on making the warmth she felt in her chest when she smelled Jihyo's hair before she opened her eyes turn into an unpleasant pressure in her chest caused by the growing anxiety she tries to manage as best she can. 

"Morning, Jeong" she hears Jihyo say in a husky voice.

Looking at her she can't help but smile at the sight of the traces of makeup, this is another thing she wouldn't have allowed under normal circumstances, but the truth is that she usually didn't end up collapsing on her bed as the first rays of sunshine come out. Seeing Jihyo with her eyes slightly closed, makeup messed up, lips still swollen and some marks spread across her neck and chest makes her light-headed. 

"Good morning, Ji."

That way of calling her draws an immediate smile on Jihyo's face, she's used to being called that, Nayeon calls her that often, but on Jeongyeon's lips it just sounds different, she doesn't remember the last time she called her that way. To think that just a few hours ago he was referring to her as Jihyo-sunbaenim makes her head spin.

Jihyo dares once again to try her luck and gives her a peck on the lips, getting an unexpected response. 

"We should take a shower."

The two have different plans, but the two have their way and before getting into the shower they share a heated make out session that ends with Jeongyeon panting against her mouth as she reaches orgasm riding Jihyo's thigh.  

After sharing a shower in which they exchange kisses again and which becomes the perfect opportunity for Jeongyeon to return the favor, they both end up wrapped in the comfortable clothes of the owner of the house who prepares coffee and a delicious and abundant breakfast for both of them, while Jihyo watches her feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

Their relationship had never gone this far, neither when they were secretly in love with each other nor after Jihyo's first confession years ago. Certainly the furthest they got in their relationship beyond friendship was with that same confession with a bouquet of flowers that ended in a kiss. This is all new to both of them, but it feels dangerously familiar as if they have done it all their lives, something that frightens both of them. Neither can rationally explain that something that shouldn't have happened in the first place feels so natural to both of them as if the years, the distance and the enmity that has lasted almost five years never happened. And this time not even Jihyo is able to say out loud how normal this situation feels, fearing that it's all in her head and going too far risking being wrong and ending it all in one fell swoop, just like it happened the other time.

They talk, the conversation is not as deep as it should be given the circumstances, but it doesn't stay superficial either and they touch almost all the important points. They talk about Jeongyeon's offer or threat – depending on who you ask – and come to the conclusion that they shouldn't be mixing personal matters with work, so it still stands and Jihyo will have some time to think about it and consult with her own legal team if she considers so. On what happened last night they both agree that they got carried away without giving much thought to the possible consequences. Jihyo described it as a "moment of weakness" while Jeongyeon called it an "impulsive and irresponsible act," but neither dared to pretend it was a mistake. 

After a heated conversation that was interrupted several times by some insults, cursing, accusations and kisses they came to the conclusion that it had been a good time that both had enjoyed, but if repeated they should have a conversation beforehand that they don't know if they are ready for. And of course, Nayeon can't know anything about this, at least while they figure out what will happen between them from now on. They talk about everything and nothing, their friendship, their estrangement and the open war between them, which seems to have finally reached a point of truce. But always leaving out the taboo subject that always comes up but they don't dare to talk about, they just tiptoe around it. 

Before the situation becomes too domestic, Jihyo decides she should leave. "Can your driver take me or should I call mine to come?" she asks.

"I don't plan to go out and he lives nearby, if you want to go now it's better if he takes you home" she offers ignoring the slight but obvious awkwardness that has settled between them.

Jihyo nods and in a few minutes she is ready to go, Jeongyeon is even kind enough to give her something more comfortable than her clothes from last night and offers her a pair of sneakers that are too small for her, so she doesn't have to wear heels.

"Thank you."

"They're just sneakers, I don't even wear them" she shrugs without noticing Jihyo's sudden and unusual shyness.

"It’s not about the sneakers…” she stutters. “Just- thank you for everything."

"Don't thank me at all, I-I really enjoyed it Jihyo-ah" smiles Jeongyeon with a slight blush painting her cheeks and the tips of her ears.

"Me too unnie" she says, staying awfully close as her gaze drifts down to her lips, but she does nothing.

They both giggle nervously not really knowing how to act around each other after everything that has happened in the last few hours. Now it's awkward, they have no regrets but that's not how things were supposed to have ended, they had arranged to meet to talk business. And they had done that but they also got drunk on each other's lips, sank between each other's legs, spent the night with their limbs intertwined and now they were struggling to quiet the butterflies in their stomachs. 

It doesn't take Jihyo much longer to get into the car to leave, Jeongyeon opens her door for her and before closing it she says "Think about what I showed you last night, take as much time as you need." She then closes her door, last night she had taught her many things and she knows exactly what she means but her mind can't help but go to other places, feeling her skin bristle and her stomach tighten as she remembers the image of jeongyeon emerging from between her legs and looking at her with those puppy eyes and swollen red lips covered in a layer of both saliva and her own juices. The memory is so vivid it's as if she's standing in front of her right now and she bites down on her finger to make sure she doesn't let out a moan right then and there as her thighs rub together involuntarily seeking to feel something.

When she gets home she doesn't receive any message or call, the next day neither and when the weekend is coming to an end neither. She knows that Jeongyeon sometimes needs to take some distance and be left alone with her thoughts to process things. If she herself was anxious and a bit scared about what would happen from now on it is natural to think that the other would be the same, maybe a bit more so given her reserved personality. 

Days go by and she still receives nothing making her anxiety increase. 

Of course she could write or call her at any time, at this point it is more than obvious that Jihyo is not afraid to take the lead and make the first move. But this time is different, she needs Jeongyeon to take the initiative for the first time for more than just preparing a lawsuit that threatens the future of her company, her life as she knows it and her family's legacy. 

It's a matter of pride, she knows. She refuses to pursue someone who wouldn't do the same for her but also out of fear of being rejected once again and getting her heart broken. She thought that after all she has been through and with her age she is more than ready to face rejection, but the truth is that if Jeongyeon rejects her again when there are no more external reasons to do so, it is likely that this time the pain will be much worse. 

By the time a week has passed Jihyo's uncertainty has turned into disappointment, she even comes to think that being directly rejected after receiving her first kiss was less cruel than whatever Jeongyeon is doing now. But in fact, it could be much worse.

After spending the weekend turning down invitations to meet friends because lying in bed staring at her phone with the screen off while listening to the most heartbreaking ballads is what she needs right now, Jihyo gets the news on Monday morning.

"Jihyo-nim, Hirai Momo is coming, it seems to be some kind of emergency"  her secretary Lily announces over the phone. When this happens nothing good happens, problems with products that are about to be released, system failures that were not foreseen and hundreds of other problems that Jihyo doesn't understand but which she knows mean that something is not working as it should. 

Hirai Momo, one of the software developers at the head of the department enters nervously and hurriedly with her fringe hairs sticking to her forehead from sweat, her shirt sleeves rolled up and her tie unbuttoned. She is out of breath and her glasses are covered in a layer of mist indicating the urgency of the situation as Momo seems to have come running into the office. All the signs alert Jihyo and prepare her for the worst, she is ready to hear that their new line of cell phones that are about to be shipped to every store in the country will have to be recalled due to some glitch, like that time they discovered that their new long lasting batteries exploded. She was prepared to listen to anything except for what Momo says as soon as she catches her breath without even leaning in. 

"We've been hacked." 

The initial shock leaves Jihyo frozen in place within moments but it doesn't take her long to react as she puts the pieces together, of course it's Horai Momo who's breaking the news to her that they've suffered an attack. It only takes her a few seconds to get up with fire in her eyes and stand in front of Momo making the employee swallow hard. 

"It has been stopped, but we don't know yet who has done it or what information they have stolen or altered" she says before Jihyo unleashes her anger at her, but this is not enough. 

"You better fix this as soon as possible or I will fire you and make sure you have to go back to Japan because you are not going to be hired anywhere in this country, not even to clean toilets" Jihyo threatens pointing her finger and staring straight into the face of the woman in front of her who is not able to look her back in the eyes because if she does she knows she will end up crying.

"Yes, Jihyo-nim. I'll fix it" she says bowing a bunch of times while stuttering a few apologies before walking away. 

I should have figured it out, now she feels completely stupid for falling for it. It's kind of evil and sick even for their fucked up relationship, Jihyo thinks. 

Without thinking twice she grabs her bag and leaves the office asking Lily to cancel all meetings until further notice, seeing the obvious anger of her boss she doesn't even dare to open her mouth and just nods vigorously. She has seen Jihyo angry a million times, but never like this, so she imagines that the news Hirai gave her must be very serious. 

As she is about to leave the building she catches a glimpse of Minatozaki Sana at her reception desk and unable to control her anger she heads to her desk. Sana's usual smiling expression disappears as soon as she sees her boss's gaze and she freezes in place, from the look on her face only one thing can have happened, she knows it. 

"I'll tell you the same thing I told your friend Hirai. If I find out that you are involved in this you can start packing your bags to go back to Japan because I will personally make your life a living hell" she threatens her with a stern tone, but low enough to only reach the receptionist's ears. As quickly as he arrived, she disappears from her side and exits the building where a car is waiting for her.

From the very first minute Sana got into all this she knew it was risky and she is not worried about the consequences because she knows that just as Jeongyeon promised them, she has nothing to worry about. Still there is something bothering Sana because she doesn't really know what the CEO is referring to, so she decides to immediately look for Mina and Momo to get answers. 

Meanwhile, Jihyo, who feels that she has more than enough information, gives her driver the address of Signal Systems' main building at the other end of the Central Business District. There he is greeted by a wide-eyed receptionist, Chou Tzuyu, who can't hide her puzzled face when the CEO of the rival company she works for as an informant is in front of her. However, her job at Signal Systems is to receive those who have an appointment with Yoo Jeongyeon and let her or her secretary know that they have arrived. Obviously, the name Park Jihyo is not among today's meeting list and has never been before, so the astonishment among the workers and visitors who have recognized her is generalized. Tzuyu can only fear the worst and her suspicions are not misguided when she leans on the counter asking for Jeongyeon's floor number, the way to the elevators and orders her not to warn that she is here. The receptionist who is smart enough and appreciates her life does as she tells her and also gives her a guest access card without asking any questions. 

That's how Park Jihyo gets to the top floor of the Signal Systems building where the office of its CEO, Yoo Jeongyeon, is located, nothing more than that. But for Jihyo, right now she is nothing more than her rival, one who uses disgusting tactics even for her usual game which includes espionage among other things of questionable ethics. Between the elevator and their destination is the desk of Dahyun, Joengyeon's trusted secretary and Jihyo's informant. 

"Good morning, Dahyun" she greets her with a smile that sends a shiver through Dahyun's body, who seeing the fire in Jihyo's eyes doesn't know if she should fear for her job or her life. "I come to see your dear boss, I guess she's in her office."

The secretary nods and when she opens her mouth to continue, Jihyo makes a gesture with her hand telling her to shut up and then walks with firm steps towards the office. She storms in, but what she sees leaves her as shocked as those in the room. 

"Jihyo?!" Jeongyeon's voice sounds surprised and confused. 

"JIHYO?!"  the woman with her back facing the door exclaims even more surprised and confused. 

"Nayeon?" she is so astonished that for a moment she forgets why she has come here. 

They look at each other, shocked by the situation they are in, they stare at each other without saying anything for a few seconds until Jeongyeon decides to take control of the situation as she feels her heart hammering in her chest. It's been a week since she saw Jihyo and since then she hadn't contacted her, so the last thing she expected was for her to suddenly walk into her office just on the same day and at the same time that Nayeon does. 

"What are you doing here?" she asks, trying to control the trembling in her voice. 

"Stop pretending, I'm not falling for your game. You know what I'm doing here" she says harshly, very different since the last time he talked to her.

"Well... I guess" she says, looking at Nayeon with concern. The older woman looks at one and then the other like she's watching a tennis match. "But I mean, you could have texted or called me," she says, turning her gaze to Nyeon again to see if Jihyo gets the message. 

"Yeah right, the only way with you the only way things can be done is face to face or did you want to have more proof to add to your fucking folders?" says Jihyo starting to lose her composure as she feels like she is being treated like a complete idiot once again. 

"I think this is a conversation you two should have between the two of you" Nayeon says stepping in for the first time. "And I know maybe this is my fault because I was the one who asked not to know about your stupid corporate war, but I think I deserve an explanation. I thought you two didn't talk and all of a sudden you show up unannounced talking about proofs and folders."

"You're right unnie" she says, directing her gaze towards Nayeon and then Jeongyeon, looking at the latter in a way so cold and full of rage that it makes her stomach turn. "Why don't you explain it to her? Tell her. Tell how you invited me to dinner to make me a deal and how it was actually a threat. I give in to what you ask or you ruin my life, my family and the work we've done for decades." 

Her gestures are exaggerated and she doesn't take her eyes off Jeongyeon who looks at her dumbfounded not knowing what Jihyo is getting at, at first she thought she was being theatrical, she can be very passionate sometimes. It's not until she sees her eyes that she realizes she's totally serious, there's no sparkle in those big beautiful eyes anymore. Then she sees it, she has the same look as that one time, but this time she doesn't understand why.

Neither of the older girls knows quite what to answer, but they don't need to because Jihyo continues "Come on! tell her what happened later" she insists. She sounds really hurt, almost desperate, worrying both of them who have never seen Jihyo this distraught.  

"Jihyo, calm down" Jeongyeon says in a soft tone as she approaches her. "I don't know what happened, but I do know that you don't want to tell Nayeon like this. Calm down and we'll talk."

"Don't even fucking think about telling me to calm down Jeongyeon. In fact I would really like my friend to know the kind of person she has next to her. Someone capable of doing what you have done to me" at this point she starts to raise her voice.

"I'm going to need one of you to explain to me what's going on, but I understand this is something you two need to work out between yourselves" she says still in her seat as she gestures for Jihyo to come closer and when she does she grabs her hand and caresses it trying to calm her down.  "Breath" she whispers to the younger girl who is breathing fast, then looks at Jeongyeon threateningly and says "If you did something to her, this time I'm going to pick a side Yoo Jeongyeon" Nayeon warns Jeongyeon pointing her finger at her. "I'm going to leave, please don't do anything stupid, I'm serious."

Nayeon over the years has learned to stay out of her friends' fight because after trying to intervene numerous times over the years she knows that all they need is to have a conversation that they have never been willing to have. She has heard both sides of the story and knows the motives that have driven each to do what they have done and, while she has not always agreed, she understands why each has done things the way they have and would be unable to judge them for it. She also knows about spies, informants, infiltrators... or whatever they call it.  She is the first to know that they do not always act according to the image of impeccable businesswomen they portray to the world. At the end of the day they are her friends despite the feud that exists – or existed – but if Jeongyeon has harmed Jihyo in some way that has gone beyond their professional rivalry, she wants to know about it even if she has to wait for them to sort things out on their own first.

They both watch Nayeon leave the office and look at each other. Jihyo has her clenched fists and tight jaw, she is still breathing heavily and can see her veins bulging in her neck and arms. From the obvious tension all over her body she can tell that she is indeed holding back and trying not to lose control. Jeongyeon is at a safe distance and is doing her best to try to maintain eye contact and to keep her trembling hands busy and out of Jihyo's sight, adjusting her clothes and hides them from time to time in the sleeves of her blazer, a gesture she had managed to shed but which is inevitable to return at times like this.  Her calmness had left with Nayeon. She still doesn't know what's going on and is afraid of making a mistake with Jihyo that will take her back to square one or much worse. She's willing to do everything in her power to avoid it, but it's definitely a possibility considering she's never seen Jihyo like this. 

"Ji I swear- ".

"Don't even think of calling me that" she raises her tone. "Stop lying, cut the act, Nayeon is not here."

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" the other tries again. "I know you're completely confident that I know but maybe it's good to talk things out for once."

"Oh this will be a good conversation because I would really like to know why you are a backstabbing bitch who is capable of betraying me again."

Maybe it's not in the best of circumstances, but Jihyo finally says it. The time has finally come to talk about the subject that both of them have been purposely ignoring. They never talked about it when it happened and neither did they talk about it at the restaurant, in Jeongyeon's living room, in her bed or the next day while having breakfast. They talked about many other things and talked about the past but this was a badly healed wound that no one dared to touch. 

"Finally you say it, I knew you haven't let it go, are you still angry about it?"

"I'm not, but even if I were you would have no right to judge me. Tell me what kind of friend would take advantage of the moment I was going through for her own benefit."

"That's not what happened, there's a reason."

"Jeongyeon..." he spits out her name while getting as close as the table between the two of them allows her. "This isn't about having different opinions, it's about facts and the facts speak for themselves. My father died, you stood by me through the entire funeral, you hugged me and promised to be there for whatever I needed" she says as angry tears build up in her eyes. "Overnight you cut off all contact with me and a month later ZoneTech released an announcement informing that Yoo Jeongyeon was taking over as CEO of the company." 

Our brains have a tendency to forget the bad times so that we can move on, but for Jihyo it was impossible to forget everything that happened during one of the darkest chapters of her life. She was only 22 years old, studying abroad about to graduate from a prestigious foreign university. One day while studying in the library for the first exams of the term she got a call from her mother crying inconsolably telling her that her father had suffered a heart attack. She still remembers the cry of pain her mother let out when she asked if he was okay, if he was in the hospital. Her father had died on the spot and there was nothing they could do. She left everything immediately and thanks to a family friend she was able to go on a private flight back to Korea a few hours after the call. 

During those days she did not shed a tear, but she knew that if at any time tears came to her eyes Nayeon and even Jeongyeon would be there to offer her a shoulder to cry on. It had been a while since the relationship between her and Jeongyeon had changed and they were becoming more and more distant, but she was the first to let her know that she was there for whatever he needed and she proved it by not leaving his side during the funeral and even during the opening of the will in which only the closest family members were allowed to be there.

No one expects to have to read the will of someone as young as Jihyo's father, not even Jihyo herself. When he named Jihyo as the sole heir and manager of the company and the family estate, he believed that when the time came for them to open her will, she would already have a successful career within the company and maybe even a family to take care of. However, that was not the case, so his daughter was forced to leave her new life as a student abroad with all her new friends and aspirations to return home and take the reins of a technology empire and one of the largest fortunes in the country while maintaining her excellent academic record as a model student in a new university.

Needless to say, it was difficult and she even paid for it with her health at times as she did not eat properly, she was overworked and under-rested. Despite having people who could do a lot of things for her, she needed to keep her mind busy because on top of her father's death there was the uproar with the press and media when some of the details of the will came to light. A few days later her friend and unconditional support during this hard process, Jeongyeon had started to avoid her and Nayeon from one day to another without giving any explanation.

The reason was discovered soon after through Signal Systems' statement, after that it was Jihyo who decided not to talk to Jeongyeon ever again unless there were cameras, potential partners or important clients in front of them. 

Jeongyeon sighs because despite having good reasons that back up her decisions, she didn't act wisely and now she knows it, but that still doesn't explain why Jihyo has suddenly stormed into her office accusing her of betraying her. Before sharing her side of the story and asking for explanations she steps out from behind her desk to continue the conversation on the couch she has for more informal meetings. When she puts her hand on Jihyo's arm inviting her to make herself comfortable, she moves her arm away and mumbles, "Don't touch me". She is hurt, maybe even more hurt than angry. 

Being aware of the younger girl's hostility, Jeongyeon believes it is a must to calm the situation down if she wants Jihyo to listen to her instead of looking for the perfect opportunity to elevate the conflict to another level, fearing that everything will end up exploding hurting the two of them and by extension Nayeon.

She takes the first step by offering her a tissue with her still shaking hands to wipe away her tears and offers her a smile. Jihyo immediately notices the shaking hands and all the alarms go off in her head, she had forgotten that sometimes in stressful situations Jeongyeon suffers anxiety attacks if she wasn't starting to have one already. Even if she feels absolute disgust towards her right now, she would hate herself if she triggered an anxiety or panic attack.

"I'm fine," Jeongyeon assures her, noticing the panic in her eyes, "but we both need to calm down and since it's too early for a beer I'll ask my secretary to make us some tea," she concludes.

Reluctantly Jihyo agrees and in a few minutes they are seated drinking tea in silence, thinking about how they got to this point. They have always had problems with communication, and although it has been between yelling, this is the first time they have been so honest with each other. Not keeping up appearances, not ignoring each other's problems, and not bottling up their feelings. They haven't done it in the most healthy or civilized way, but it's a start. 

After several sips Jeongyeon's hands stop shaking, but Jihyo shifts on her seat impatiently. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you what I did to make you like this" the older one breaks the ice "as you pointed out I can be quite dense" she says shyly. "If this is all about the deal I offered and the lawsuit, I-"

"Stop! Do you really think I'm worried about a lawsuit right now when you just fucking hacked me?" she asks, losing her temper again, but she doesn't mind, it hurts so much that she couldn't care less if Jeongyeon sees her like this or if everyone in this building could hear her. "You sleep with me, and once again you suddenly disappear. Today when I got to work they hacked ZoneTech and when I got here there's Nayeon. You had it all planned" she accuses her directly as tears start to fall from her eyes. "I just asked you not to hurt me and you ruined me" she says trying to hold back the tears. 

It takes Jeongyeon a moment to process and react to all the information Jihyo has given her between screams and tears. She doesn't understand anything that has happened, but it breaks her heart to see Jihyo. Not even during her father's funeral did she cry or when he first broke her heart and now she has her in front of her telling her that she has ruined his life. It hurts her that Jihyo might actually think she would do something like that, but seeing her sobbing with her mascara smeared and her eyes bloodshot from anger and crying makes her chest hurt.

Despite her fear of how she might react, she wraps her arms around her and finally speaks “Ji, trust me one more time and believe me when I tell you that I had nothing to do with this and I know deep down you know that I wouldn't be able to do something like this. I would never hurt you" she whispers softly in her ear trying to soothe her, but Jihyo's crying only increases soaking her shirt on the part of her chest where her head is resting. 

The sobs get louder and she begins to hear Jihyo cursing at her and telling her that she hates her, but she can't blame her. It's been some unfortunate coincidences and no wonder Jihyo has thought the worst. 

"Stop treating me like an idiot, you already did it once" she manages to say between sobs. 

Jeongyeon sighs as she continues to hug her and caress her back "I think it's time to explain everything that happened" she says as she pulls away from Jihyo to look at her face and grabs her hands so as not to lose contact with her skin. She looks away, unable to look at her because of the pain, anger and embarrassment she feels.

"I told you the other day and I will tell you as many times as necessary until you believe it. I don't hate you and I have never hated you, nor have I ever wanted to hurt you. I love you, I always have and I'm so afraid of what you make me feel that all this time I thought that by pushing you away I was protecting both myself and you as well" she sighs. "Our lives are so complicated and I thought that someday these feelings would go away" she looks at her anxiously looking for a reaction in Jihyo, who still won't look at her, but at least the crying is more controlled. "I thought what I felt for you was a high school crush that could ruin everything for me, but it's not like that and running away from you and everything you make me feel almost ruined my happiness." 

Until now Jeongyeon had never been clear with her feelings, but that's not all. "I thought that by running away from me I was doing you a favor and that if you hated me everything would be easier. That's why I never gave you the reasons or explanations you deserve and now I know it was a huge mistake, but after everything that has happened I wouldn't forgive myself for pushing you away from me again, because I know that this time it would be the final one. If you are willing to listen to me, I will tell you everything, but I promise you that I have nothing to do with this hacker attack you have suffered."

Jihyo is not sure, experience, all the times she ended up calling Nayeon crying, all the times she ended up in bed with strangers and the times she got drunk looking for some relief tell her to be smarter, that this time she should be the one to end it all instead of staying to suffer another disappointment. However, the more irrational part of her, the part that still thinks there is a possibility of a future together, begs her to stay and listen to her.

She looks down at her hands between Jeongyeon and when he manages to calm her breathing she looks up at her not quite sure of what to do or what to say even though she has already made up her mind. 

"You look awful" Jeongyeon tells her in a pointless attempt to tease that almost bring Jihyo to tears again "Fuck- sorry I was trying to joke, Ji" she says nervously repeating the affectionate nickname once more. With one of her hands she tries to fix the mess of her makeup and with all the gentleness in the world she reaches over and kisses the tears still left on her cheeks. "There's a restroom over there, take your time" and Jihyo just nods, too defeated to refuse.

Just as he told her, she takes her time and manages her best to clean her face, fix her hair and clothes trying to pull herself together. After Jeongyeon has seen her like this, she feels pathetic. Until her breathing returns to normal she doesn't come out of the restroom, though her red and puffy eyes give her away. 

"About the hacking let me take care of it, we'll find the culprits and I'll do my best to fix it and prove to you that it wasn't me."

"I believe you" Jihyo finally speaks and the relief is so great that Jeongyeon can't help but let out the breath she has been holding. "This morning when Hirai Momo came to my office I assumed it was your doing, the attack has been stopped, but when I left they didn't know what its origin was or what exactly they did."

"I will talk to Momo, it will be solved today" she assures her while holding her hand. 

Before continuing with their unfinished conversation, Jeongyeon calls Hirai Momo and makes her look for Myoui Mina and also Minatozaki Sana who, to Jihyo's surprise, is also some computer expert. After listening to too many technical words, Jihyo was finally able to participate in the conversation and they ended up making a deal: if they managed to find out who was responsible in 24 hours, they can keep working in the company and they will not have to go back to Japan as she had warned Momo and Sana hours before. Jeongyeon, in her efforts to show Jihyo that things would be different from now on if she trusted her, encouraged them with the promise of inviting them to dinner at the best restaurant in the country.

Once she hangs up the phone she directs her gaze towards Jihyo "What do you say? Let's get out of here, grab some food and I'll take you wherever you tell me so I can explain everything to you. I'll even burn paper by paper all the evidence of the lawsuit if I have to because I don't plan to lose you and take the risk of Nayeon killing me."

This time Jihyo smiles and nods, taking her hand "Come on, but if you give me reason to be suspicious I'm telling Nayeon" she jokingly warns her.

So that's what they did, Jeongyeon told Dahyun to cancel everything on her schedule for the rest of the day and hoping to get lucky, she also told her to let her know if they have to cancel their meetings the next day. Of course Kim Dahyun did that and rearranged his schedule but not before opening the group chat with Chayeoung and Tzuyu to tell them everything she had overheard, especially the mention of Minatozaki Sana, Chaeyoung's situationship.

They end up at Jeongyeon's house as well, although the purpose is quite different this time. Jeongyeon explains to her the reason behind each time she broke his heart. She explains how her father did everything he could to keep her away from Jihyo, even forcing her to study abroad. She tells her that that kiss she gave her after receiving her bouquet of flowers and her confession on her graduation day was sincere, but knowing that she would be away for so many years at a university thousands of miles away she didn't want to take away her opportunity to have a first high school love and maybe to find someone who was really good for her, someone who wasn't afraid to love her. She reveals to her each of the events that led her to accept the CEO position after finding out that her father would do everything in his power to end ZoneTech by taking advantage of the instability he thought Mr. Park’s death would bring. She did that in an attempt to protect her but it didn't last long since she was forced to respond to the constant attacks that Jihyo initiated once she settled into the position. And of course she makes it clear to her that this last week of silence had been an attempt to give her space when the truth is that she was dying to talk to her, to listen to her, to see her and to feel her in her arms again.

When the conversation ends, it's already dark and Jihyo goes back to sleep in Jeongyeon's bed, but tonight they just share kisses, secrets, apologies and the promise of a future together. Before sleep overcomes them Jeongyeon whispers in her ear "Don't go to work tomorrow, let me take you on a date to make up for my mistakes and to start making up for time we wasted".

#°❀‿request #ceo!jeonghyo au #twice fic #twice oneshot #twice au #twice imagines #twice smut #twice jeongyeon #twice jihyo #jeongyeon x jihyo #jeonghyo #ujb #yoo jeongyeon #park jihyo #twice nayeon #twice momo #twice sana #twice mina #twice dahyun #twice chaeyoung #twice tzuyu #girl group one shots #girl group imagines #girl group fic #girl group smut #gg smut

[queen-in-the-shadows]

Hellevator Captivation (1) The Beginning

MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI

Warnings: drinking! (all characters are of legal age); (eventual): yandere; teratophilia; noncon/dubcon; mxm; memberxmember; mmf; VIOLENCE; mentions of murder (none of the MCs); more warnings on individual chapters. Please feel free to send an ask or message if you feel I miss any warning tags!

Summary: Chan and his 7 crew members crash landed on Zyloren-9, otherwise known as Earth, and are trying to wire their ship to allow them to connect to a rescue group. Until they take an obsessive interest in a peer who is a little too pretty and a little too innocent. They can bring specimens back for scientific studies, right? In other words: Chan and the others take a liking to you and decide they want to take you back with them, they just need to connect a rescue ship—and convince you to walk onto the ship without any questions.

Chapter 1

Chan slowly came to, shaking the fuzziness and whistling birds from his head, unbuckling the chest straps that held him tight to the chair during their rapid and unexpected descent as he glanced around, looking for his companions. Fuck. We crashed. While he couldn’t see his members, he could at least feel the connection that held them together, everyone was fine. He looked over the control system, assessing the damage to their craft before even attempting to piece together where they had landed, let alone on which planet they were possibly stranded. Chan flipped a few switches and pressed a few buttons, to no avail. No reaction. The craft was dead.

He heaved a sigh, turning around and leaving the control room to search in the areas of the ship where the others would have likely been during the crash. Chan reached the on-board gym first, finding Changbin sprawled on his ass on the floor. Chan reached a hand to help the other up, “Bad news, ship is dead. We might be able to rework communication comms, but I doubt it. So, lets grab the others and figure out where exactly we landed.” The two moved separate ways, following the pull they had, one leading to the kitchen and Minho and Felix, the other to the makeshift common-area-turned-game-room filled with Hyunjin, Jeongin, Jisung and Seungmin. The two groups met in the common area, eyes raking over bodies for bumps and bruises, and Chan moved towards the intact windows, glancing outside for any indication of where they had crashed.

“It seems we made it to Zyloren-9 as planned, but I have no clue where we managed to land.” He used the data scanner in his bracelet to analyze the air quality, “As we thought, the air will be fine for us. Don’t worry about suits.” The men soon found themselves outside of their damaged ship, walking through a dense forest and hoping to find civilization soon.

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            Chan and the others had enrolled in the local university, using their persuasion to enroll in classes and offers of jobs to blend in, creating their own frat and not accepting new pledges so as to conceal the fact that they weren’t from Zyloren-9; or as the inhabitants called it ‘Earth.’ Changbin was studying their music, along with Jisung and Chan; Jeongin and Seungmin focusing on science and engineering, although both were taking a few music theory and choir courses as electives; Minho, Hyunjin and Felix were all studying the inhabitant’s idea of dance, and language.

The group would wear items that were trending, often with some sort of coordinated outfit look between the 8 of them, attempting to blend in; although it came to be known to not work so well, as Minho snuck a peek at some of the inhabitants’ inner thoughts. The residents of Earth thought their shells looked hot, not that the males cared. They were just trying to get enough information to either rig the primitive and nearly obsolete technology, or fix their communications network to long distance, so that they can call for help. They weren’t planning on all finding a specimen they would want to bring back to Cleithonia, for scientific purposes of course. They weren’t planning on it being the same specimen, certainly not planning on it being you. The one who both Seungmin and Jeongin met in a few courses, who had been invited to the house before and had the entire crew going nearly feral over the warm, sweet scent of true vanilla—not that fake chemical shit that a lot of the people on the college’s campus wore—and the calming scent of lavender.

No, you… you were different. Entertaining. They all agreed to keep you around while figuring out what to do about their ship but had no idea that each and every one of them wanted to keep you around longer than that. So they did what they did best: threw parties to maintain their cover of frat boy college students, while working on a way to contact Zyloren-9. That was how you ended up at the frat house the first Friday of spring break week. The last day for some people on campus before leaving to come back tanned and hungover after a week of partying on a beach somewhere, and the first day of constant parties circulating from frat house to frat house, sorority to sorority for the rest of the students—those with jobs that wouldn’t give time off long enough to make escape worthwhile, or any time off at all.

Seungmin had been the first to mention it to you, the frat party being held at their house the last day of classes before break. He had told you to join them, not that you didn’t normally join them anyways—he just wanted to make sure you knew he, and the rest of them, specifically wanted to see you there, that they would be disappointed if you didn’t celebrate the week free of assignments and course responsibilities. Innie had joined in with a pout pointed straight at your heart, and ‘how can anyone deny the baby, if you tell him no it’s just cruel!’ It was all the pestering that had you getting dressed up in a pair of tight fit, high-waisted, bell-bottomed jeans and a black, lacy-yet-classy short sleeved leotard bodysuit. You added some black winged eyeliner, mascara, and a lightly tinted gloss to your lips, slid into a deceptively lightweight jean jacket and some comfortable platform Mary Jane heels that completed the outfit before walking out the door to the SKZ Frat House that Friday night.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You made it to the frat house, greeted at the door by one of the members you didn't know as well as Seung and Innie, Jisung. He was sweet, even if a little awkward at times, always trying to make everyone laugh. You had only met a handful of times, always while you were working on a class project with not much time to spare and talk.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're here! We were wondering if the boys convinced you. C'mon, everyone is around somewhere, let's get you a drink!" You had reached Jisung, who had taken ahold of your hand, giving you a heart smile and nearly dragging you into the kitchen behind him. You stumbled over yourself slightly, since when is he okay with-- what? Jisung had managed to mix you a drink, "It's malibu coconut and root beer," thrusting the solo cup into your hand and whisking you away once more.

"Ji- thanks, but what are you doing? I don't mind I just didn't think you were this comfortable with me around? I know we're friends and all but--"

"Don't worry about it cutie! Everything's fine, let's just find the others. I know they'll all want to see how cute you look all dressed up for us."

Taglist: @moonlightndaydreams @channieandhisgoonsquad @queenmea604 @sky-angel101 @thightswideforhanin @cloudieclair @salfetkablog

#Hellevator Captivation #alien stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids ot8 #skz ot8 #yandere stray kids

[adventuringblind]

Drive with you Forever

Chapter Ten: a monster or a hero?

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris X reader

Chapter summary: things come to a climatic peak at Abu Dhabi

Warnings: GORE, depictions of abuse, minor character death, description of injuries and blood, panic attacks, annoying first responders, gun and knife violence

Notes: wow I enjoyed this chapter. It was so much fun to write. I think going from action to intimate with the transition actually worked better then I thought it would. Not something I can say about my other work 😒😂

Previous <-

Masterlist

She’s aware of the drops of blood running down her fingers onto the tarmac of the track. The lighta of Abu Dhabi illuminates her skin as she stands with shaky knees. She can smell the rage falling of the man in waves. His movements were clumsier in his anger.

He’d made a mistake in thinking he could touch them.

He’d been wrong to assume she would give in so easily.

Now, with a grin on her face and crimson cover face, she proves he created the killer he always claimed her to be.

~

Aside from Jos and his odd interactions with her, paddock like was peaceful.

She’d gone back to analyzing data and tinkering with the cars. Using the rest of the season to simply heal. She was here because she wanted to be. She was here supporting her loves. She was here because this is her passion.

Redbull had been on fire since she got back to working with data and strategy. She loves driving, but this felt more like her. She’d made peace that her body would never be the same. Christian respects her choice and appreciates her for everything she’s done. Hence why she will always have a place in the Redbull garage, according to him.

Nights with her boys have been calm (for the most part). They are on a high after their tedious streak of lows. They’d spoiled her relentlessly after they almost lost her.

Max has finally managed to learn how to get his feelings across. It took him almost losing all of his partners to figure it out. He has Seb to thank for that.

She walked in in the German gently explaining to Max that he needs to tell them how he feels because bottling it up isn’t healthy and despite one of his partners being superhuman, she isn’t a mind reader.

Boy did he sob. They all did really. They pulled together as a unit after that. Not just being there for each other, but a team that works together to overcome the challenges and difficulties that life throws at them.

They are together. They are a family. They are bonded together by something deeper then love.

~

She’d found a way to help her confidence in being independent. How you ask? Getting one step closer to being a superhero.

Her martial arts had been coming along amazingly. Her trainer was impressed with how quick she progressed. It’s definitely helps that her visions had gotten better and she could see the possible outcome of a fight before it even happened. Sometimes while she was sparring, she’d be able to control her visions enough to just get a glimpse of her opponents next move.

She’d practiced with a few firearms and knew how to pull them apart and put them together with the wave of a finger. She could help guide bullets to their intended destinations with hardly any aim.

It’s safe to say she feels like she could take on the world. She just hopes she doesn’t have to.

It’s a funny thing to her, that even though she could kick someone’s ass into next year, her three partners still baby her.

Lando has found that his favorite place is having her in his arms. He claims if he lets go she might disappear.

Charles is always talking to her. Her tells her every reason why he loves her daily because he almost didn’t get a chance to tell her at all.

Max is vulnerable with her. The work of racing paints him to be cold-hearted and a villain, his father not helping much in that regard. Now he shows her every emotion he kept hidden away. He cries and laughs and lets the three of you see a side of him the cameras don't.

Everything was falling into place. The peace and happiness she wanted so bad was finally within reach.

But is seems nothing ever goes to plan.

~

The energy she worked so hard to keep in control was taking over for her. The locked box she didn't want to open had now exploded. A urge of something she'd never experienced before flying out.

It didn't help he was holding Lando by the throat. The Brit had been through enough already. His eyes are pleading with anyone. If he could just free himself from whatever was holding him there then maybe he could help her.

But she didn't need help.

Two sets of hands on his shoulders became one. The man on his left projecting something at his lover.

The glint of metal from the knife left his hands and landed itself in her shoulder. He could hear her skin ripping open. The blood starting to pool around the new wound.

She'd already killed three of them. The ones who had initially grabbed the three boys.

Their throats had all been sliced open on the track.

These men had been shouting the names they know her by. Killer. Betrayer. Monster.

Don't they know they made her this way?

The knife that had found its way into her skin is pulled out with a vile squelch. She looks down and smiles. The pain only encouraging her to keep going.

The laugh that falls from her mouth is terrifying.

She throws the knife back at its original owner. Her hand still outstretched and guiding the thin weapon. It sticks in a place he won't recover from. His body crumbles to the ground. Blood leaking from the gaping hold in his chest.

Originally, Lando thought he might die here. These stupid people holding him captive on the empty track had talked about ways they wanted to end him.

He was scared and shaking for fifteen minutes before she came to his rescue. He was still shaking as the other man pinning him in his place took off running.

She just watched him go. If he wasn't going to fight her and run away like a coward instead, then it's a waste of her energy to go after him.

She was on her knees in front of Lando in an instant. Her eyes rake over his body to look for any signs of injury. Satisfied, she unties all the ropes that had made his escape impossible.

His turn now to assess her. Lando's hand flying up to put pressure on the slit on her shoulder.

"What the hell is going on?" The waiver in his voice is not even trying to hide itself.

"My father has decided to use a different means to get to me.”

He's shocked at how steady her voice is. He can see the murky fear in her eyes, but also something he can't pinpoint.

"Are you alright?"

"Shaken up, obviously, but alive."

Her tears of relief are mixed with the blood on her cheeks.

Neither knew how this was going to end, but they couldn't spend much more time thinking about it.

"Do you know where he's keeping Charles and Max?"

He nods slowly, impressed at her composire. Then he's taking her hand and leading her onwards.

~

Jos was dejected at the sight of the four of them celebrating together. He hated that his son didn't listen to him or want anything to do with him, for that matter.

He knew what he was doing was wrong. But he'd made a deal.

He gets his son back, and the maniacal genius gets his daughter back. It's a win-win aside from the British boy and Anoying Monegasque having to lose out on life. But it was a risk he was willing to take.

The man he’d been working with found him. Knew him even. It was creepy, but he was willing to work with it. The mad man wanted his daughter back for something he couldn’t explain and Jos wanted his son back.

If only Jos had known Max would fight tooth and nail for her- for them.

~

Charles had a flight and fight response. First, he tried flight. He tried to run to the safety of Max but was foiled instantly. He wanted to check on Lando, but they had dragged the Brit away so long ago.

Now he's alone and struggling. They've been trying to pin him down, but he's been masterfully landing kicks on any place he could to their bodies.

He wasn't going down without a fight.

It was when they started talking about her that his body went lax. The things they said just morally sounded terrible.

"I hope this is worth it."

"Pretty sure is she can bring back the dead.”

"To bad she can’t have her own kids. This would be easier for all of us if she could.” Charles had no clue what they were talking about. None of it was making sense. He did understand that the intent was to bring her back to wherever the devil is living.

Oh, how he wanted to scream. How he wanted to yell at her to stay away, that they would be fine. But it was too late.

He could see her silhouette walking towards him. She looked calm. Her presence helping his mind to think rationally.

Though it was no longer rational as every person around him started clawing at their throats. Coughing, rasping, and pleading for whatever had them to stop.

Charles knew it wouldn't.

She stood there barely moving her hands. He could see the lights reflecting of her sweat. Then Lando was behind him, pulling out of the restraints. Reassuring him that everything was going to be okay now.

He couldn't help but relax into the brits hold.

He didn't know if they died as they fell. And frankly, he didn't care in this moment.

She crouched down to his level, cupping his face with her hands. He’s glad to see them both okay but the word takes hold as he notices the holes littering her body.

“Are you okay Did they hurt you?” They both ask him. Though one is more frantic than the other. He nods his head, really flooding his body at the sight of the two.

~

 Abu Dhabi was an interesting race this year. Max had already won the world drivers championship. Regardless, the race was still good and fun and he put himself being able to relax even while he was driving.

The group had gone out to celebrate. He had won. Redbull had won. Obviously, there was going to be a party.

The quartet, however, did not plan on staying long. It had been a long year for all of them, filled with many highs and lows. They all wanted to celebrate with each other in peace.

They had escaped a moment and decided to walk along the track just the four of them. The stars were out and the moon is bright. The lights from the track are still turned on. It felt peaceful, like nothing could take this moment away from them.

Then it was gone.

In the blink of an eye, Max was being dragged away from his lovers. Unknown hands and foreign voice is coming in every direction. He screamed, and he thrashed in an attempt to escape. But the hold on him was too much those. The people holding him there came prepared. So much for being a high performance athlete.

It felt like hours, even though it was probably just minutes. He hadn’t necessarily given up on fighting, but it felt pointless, and he was running out of energy. He needed to conserve what he had left to come up with a plan.

Then his father came out of the haze. He lectured him about why he was doing this for his own good.

Oh, how Max was seething.  His father had once again managed to get in the middle of his personal life. Claiming of what he was doing was for his benefit.

Max yelled in anger. He didn’t know all what he was saying just thought it felt good to get it out of his system.

Then a new voice. One he’d never heard before.

“Relax, you can have him to yourself soon enough.” The voice said.

His father was mumbling in Dutch as he walked away obediently. It was shocking for Max to see. Jos didn’t normally walk away from a fight.

They kept him on his knees but they had barely touched him. If he had to guess, Max would say his father struck a deal. The thought makes him want to throw up.

Everything in him wants to fight. He wants to scream out to see if his partners respond.

But he didn’t need to.

It’s blurry. He didn’t realize he was crying. The flash of his lovers comforting eyes the only thing pulling him back from his increasing panic.

Two of them. Where’s the third?

He can hear the sound of crushing bones and shrill screams.

The three of the, are huddled together. Lando has his buried in Max’s chest and Charles’ arms are wrapped tightly around his midsection.

Then the sickening calm of silence.

He can hear her heavy pants. He can smell the carnage around him.

Slowly he gets up and approaches the female like a wild animal.

She looks psychotic in a way. Her skin is slick with sweat. Her body is stitching itself together but her wounds have drenched her clothes in a dark red.

Blood seems to cover most of her.

She looks exhausted. Her visible skin has lost its color. She looks like she’s on edge, scanning her surroundings for more threats.

Max doesn’t touch her when he gets close. He can see the tears pulling in her eyes, taking in what she’s done.

She sinks to her knees. The weight of it all pulls her to the ground. “Are you hurt?”

Max looks at her with love. She’d always made sure everyone else came first. She’s bleeding out before his eyes and yet she’s asking if he’s okay.

He sets himself in front of her.

“Why aren’t you scared? I’m everything he said I am.” Her voice breaks. She’d killed them but Max knew it wasn’t out of any good feelings. She wasn’t satisfied with herself. She had done it to protect them.

Lando and Charles are next to him now. Charles is the first to reach for her hand. She flinched away at first but then relaxes at the touch, letting the warmth of his skin remind her that everyone is alive.

“We could never be scared of you, mon amour. You were protecting us.”

“But I killed them.” She sobs. Her mouth falling open in a silent scream. Her arms close around herself as she pushes herself as close to the ground as possible.

Max knows they need to get out of there. People are going to be here soon and they’ll ask to many questions.

But they aren’t at fault, so why is he scared?

Screw it, he’s calling Seb.

The four of them pile into each other. The female wails have not slowed and their doing her best to get her to breath. Her blood pools onto the tarmac even though her wounds are closing slowly before their eyes.

Max manages to get his cell to work. The screen shattered and he can barely see what’s on it because of the static, but it works.

He fails Sebs number. He feels guilt about spoiling his retirement party but he doesn’t know what else to do.

“Hello? Max?”

“Help.”

~

She wasn’t sure what was happening. There are sirens and police surrounding the area now. People are asking her questions that she can’t respond too. Her skin is on fire and she can’t feel her limbs. She just wants to go home.

Seb hasn’t left her. She’s clutching his hand like a child. The fear of being left alone with strangers and her thought to much to handle right now.

The other three are answering questions. Mostly about how she looks like she went to hell and back and they have some scraped knees and bruises.

“Y/N is trained in martial arts and self-defence.” Explains the Dutch for the thousandth time. “They came after us. Majority of them ran away. And do you blame her for fighting? Shes been kidnapped before for fucks sake!”

Max stomps away from the first responders and back to her. He sits down next to her in the ambulance and huffs. “They aren’t listening.”

“Patience. They are trying to get all the information.” Seb continues wiping blood off her exposed body. Her clothes are decimated and her hair is a crusty tangled mess.

“I know. It’s just frustrating. I want the to catch the people who organized this.”

“Your dad one of them?”

Max turns his head away in shame. “I highly doubt he’ll come back to any races after he exposed himself like this.”

“One can hope.” Seb sighs and Max nods his head in agreement. Seb runs to rag over the wound in her shoulder, the sting causing her to let out a hiss of pain through her teeth. “Sorry, Love.”

The adrenaline that had once been fueling her had dwindled away into nothing now. Everything hurts and she’s tired, but Seb said she needs to stay awake for now.

Lando peeks his head into the vehicle. “They want to ask you questions, love. If you aren’t up to it I’ll let them know.” Lando patiently awaits her response. Wordless, she stumbles out of the bed and into Lando’s arms. He helps her out of the ambulance, and they take slow steps back onto the tarmac. Her breathing gets more uneven with each step.

Lando keeps his arm around her waist to help her to her destination. "You don't have to do this yes, we can wait until you're stronger." She smiles at him with appreciation, but she knows it's better to do it now.

The officer meets her halfway, and Charles jogs to catch up with them.

"Did you recognize any of the attackers?"

"No."

"Did you kill the seven that were on the track when we arrived."

"Yes."

"Why is that?"

"They wanted to kill us."

"How do you know?"

"They said so. They held knives to throats and huns to heads."

Charles had never heard her sound so robotic. Like every answer had been preprogrammed into her.

"We're they the ones who hurt you?"

"Yes."

"What happened with Max, Charles, and Lando?"

Her breath hitches, and the tears start again. Lando increases the pressure of his hold as her knees go to buckle.

"They almost died. They got them by surprise and tried to kill them to get to me." She can't stop the cries that sake her body again.

Charles is at her other side. The two are trying to keep her upright. Her dry heaving not helping them.

They decided they heard enough. So they dragged the group down to the police station to test them for every possible mind altering substance on the planet.

She cried every time they touched her. The medical equipment is not helping her state if mind.

The four males sit and wait for her. They weren't allowed to go with. She fought, tooth and nail, because she didn't want to leave them. They begged to let at least one of them go with her, but we're ultimately denied.

The look of panic on her face when she was being hauled away broke all of them.

An hour later, an officer came to give them an update. "We're holding her overnight."

"Absolutely not." States sebastian in protest. "The girl is traumatized. Her family almost died tonight, and she's been dealing with strangers keeping her away from them. You might want to rethink."

The man in front of them gives seb an exasperated look. "She killed seven people. We have no witnesses that can give an outsiders perspective. And we're waiting on security footage. Her blood work is anything but normal, and you seem dead set on leaving." The man explains. "I will have someone call you with an update tomorrow."

The boys left. Sullen. Tired. Broken.

They slept on sebastians' floor that night. Hanna watched as they passed out as soon as they got in the door. Seb just hugged her. His distress clear to her.

She deserves better. She was a child who had her innocence stolen.

~

The holding cell is cold and metallic. The air smells musty. The colors contrast her own appearance.

They didn't even give her new clothes or a hairbrush.

After hours of waiting, someone came in with a laptop. The image of her on the track is already on the screen.

The play button is pressed.

It's what happened but from an outsiders perspective.

She panics. Her whole body trying to not relive these moments.

They come over the gate with knives and guns drawn. Three of them immediately going for her.

You can't see it, but she’s using her powers. It looks like a mere glitch on the screen.

She disarms the first and takes a knife to the hip from the second. A knife she promptly pulls out of her and slams into his throat.

The first bullets came from the one behind. The one in front keeping her sandwiched innetween them.

They talked at this point, but the video doesn't have sound.

The first throws her to the ground, her head snapping from impact on the tarmac.

She reachches for the knife in the second man's throat. The now slick metal makes a gorey sound as it slides out of his next. She launches at the third before he can get another shot of. His finger never makes it to the trigger.

The third is a lot stronger than her. She coaxed her visions into guiding her, showing her how to get him on the ground. Her leg hooks into the back of his knee to pull him to the earth.

She waits now. Holding up her hands in surrender. Pleading with him to stop.

He dosents. His knife is now aimed at her. Me manages to lodge it into her stomach. Again, she pulls it out and slits the last man's throat.

Then she's sprinting.

She had heard the shots of protest from the boys. They were going to use them as leverage. She had to run. She had to heal. So she did both, managing to weave some things back together before she found Lando. Using her visions to guide her.

She was going to overdue it but she didn't care.

Lando had been forced to his knees. He had a gun passed to his head. Tears had glistened his cheeks as he mumbled words of forgiveness.

Then another stupid knife found its way into her shoulder. She returned the favor after that.

The man with the gun took off back over the fence. She didn't care, though. Lando was her priority at that moment.

Then she's untying him, making sure he's okay and running off to hopefully find the other two.

The camera angle switch’s again.

Charles is trying to kick away his captives, landing him a punch to his ribs and an elbow to his knees. They put all their weight on him to hold him steady.

Then their clawing at their throats. Her and Lando just standing and watching.

The video pauses. She didn't even realize she had been crying and shaking til she's brought back to the present.

"They have no fingerprints on them. No signs they poisoned themselves. You admitted to killing seven. How did you do it?"

She shrugs. How is she supposed to respond to this? "I guess I assumed I killed them. Me and Lando didn't know what was happening. We just stood there trying to assess the situation."

She feels like she might believe her own lie. There is no way to explain that. Her and Lando both just stare at what's happening.

Then the video turns back on.

Her and Lando are running to Charles, untying him, checking for injuries, then running off to find Max.

The last stint is something she wants to forget.

The group around Max and Jos had been massive. But they saw her walking towards them and fled the scene. All except one.

They'd fought for a ridiculous amount of time. She'd felt his bones snap underneath her. He'd pummeled her to a pulp. He pulled her hair. Her visions were no help as she was exhausted. They had each other in a headlock. She couldn't breathe. It didn't help he was stronger.

But her powers helped in that are as she used them to snap his neck. The sound of cracking the only think filling her ears for thirty seconds.

Then it shows them all together. It shows her on the ground screaming, crying, throwing up.

Then it's done.

She can't move. She can't breathe. Every moment now fresh in her brain once again.

"Technically speaking, this was all self-defense. They hit you first in every scenario."

She glared at whoever this man was that made her relive this.

But she didn't say anything because his next words were 'free to go.'

It's late and dark. She's still covered in blood. But her phone is broken.

So she walks.

She walks, and she cries.

She wants it all to end. The little girl wanted to be with her family. With sebastian and Hanna and her siblings. She needs to know her boys are okay.

She spaces out, lost in her own head as she arrives at the hotel. At Sebs door. Praying he's awake or at least will wake up.

She knocks. Fully expecting that she will be spending the night outside the door. To her shock, it opens.

Seb pulls her inside where she's tackled in hugs and kisses.

"They let you go?!"

"They had no reason to keep me."

She's aware of how awful she looks. She needs new clothes which she doesn't have here but their hotel room is farther than sebs.

And at 6 in the morning, they are in their own room. Seb, having driven back himself.

The boys are getting things together to help her clean up.

She stares at the wall. Blank and empty. Just how she feels.

Max and Lando are out at the store. They have nothing they need to help take care of her. They were expecting to leave this morning, but the benefit of flying private is that Max can change when they leave.

Charles is running a bath for her. She's a mess of litteral blood, sweat, and tears.

He croutches down next to her and pulls one of her hands into his own. "What do you say we get cleaned up, hm?"

She lets him help her to her feel. The warmth of the steam from the bath hitting her skin makes her feel something close to alive again.

Charles helps her out of her trashed clothing and then holds her hand while she gets in. "Do you want a moment to yourself, Chéri?"

She almost panics for a second. "Don't leave me- please."

"Do you want me on their with you or next to you?"

She likes when he asks with easy words. "With."

Then Charles is stripping of his own clothes and climbing in behind her.

He takes his time rinsing her skin. Careful not to mess with her new stitches that the paramedics gave her.

He spent time untangling her hair with nimble fingers and washing out every last bit of grime.

She relaxed into his hold. The safety of his arms reminding that he's alive, so is Max and Lando.

They're still in the bath when the other two come back. Lando and Max take the opportunity to get the food ready and set out their clothes for her to wear when she comes back.

“I know where both enjoying this, but I think if we stay in any longer we may become one with the water.” Charles laughs.

He gets out first and wraps a towel around his waist. He lays a spare on the floor so they don’t slide around anthem helps her to the ledge. He takes a towel and dries her off with it, taking extra care of her wounds and double checking that her stitches look okay still. He wraps her towel around her and slips his clothes back on. He wasn’t going to put her trashed clothing back on her.

Charles guides her out of the bathroom into the dimly lit suite. Max and Lando help her into their clothes; Max’s shirt and Lando’s sweats. Then they crawl into bed together.

Her cries shatter their hearts. The broken sobs of overwhelming feelings finally getting to her. “I don’t deserve this after what I did.”

“What you did was save us geliefde. We could ask for anything more then that.”

“But I killed people. He was right. I’m a fucking killer. A monster.”

“You killed them because you had too. It sucks and I can’t say I understand how your feeling, but if you didn’t do it then we would be dead. So no matter where your thoughts go, the three of us are grateful for what you did out there.”

“We love you Chére. Our superhero.”

~

Next ->

Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak

#x reader #fanficion #f1 fic #formula one #formula 1 #racing #angst #max verstappen #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris #max verstappen x reader #redbull racing #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x you #formula racing #lando norris x reader #mclaren formula 1 #fluff #charles leclerc fic #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x you #mclaren racing #lando norris f1 #max verstappen f1 #charles leclerc x y/n #ferrari racing #scuderia ferrari #red bull f1 #sebastian vettel

[jessamine-rose]

꒰ The Red Web of Fate ꒱

Just a short drabble loosely inspired by my fic The Spider and the Fly. Alternatively entitled “The reason why Yandere! Miguel O’Hara got angry when his darling noticed a familiar face in the middle of their forced fun, one-sided casual date in Nueva York.”

Tw:: yandere, obsession, kidnapping

Note:: Female reader, ATSV spoilers

According to the laws of the Spider-Verse, there is nothing special about you and Miguel.

Legends speak of destined lovers, of soulmates connected by the threads of fate. It is this bond which brings couples together across time, across past lives, or more accurately, across the multiverse.

In every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man. In many others, there is Mary Jane. As for the rest, it is Betty Brant, Felicia Hardy, etc., etc. whose relationship with Spider-Man constitutes a recurring pattern in the Spider-Verse.

Miguel O’Hara and ______ are not part of that pattern.

It is a scientific truth backed by physics and mathematics. It is what makes his Variants’ family, Miguel’s family with you and Gabriella, exclusive to a single collapsed dimension.

Prior to his loss, Miguel had already analyzed the data. In every dimension except one, the two of you are fated to never meet. There are versions of you who remain single, versions of you married to another, versions of you who never bumped into Miguel O’Hara on a sunny afternoon in the heart of Nueva York.

In every other universe, ______ falls for her childhood friend, an ordinary civilian whom Miguel first recognized as Gabriella’s godfather. He belongs with you in 53% of all universes, half of which include a son named after you.

Granted, there’s still a very low chance that you did end up with Miguel in another dimension, but that discovery would barely change the statistics. The conditions of your first meeting were random, coincidental, caused by specific conditions and chain reactions. The probability is near-zero.

Neither can he find you in Earth-928. Whatever the reason—death, nonexistence, the pure luck of living under his radar—you continue to elude Miguel. And even if you meet in the present, Gabriella’s existence cannot be replicated.

…Then again, the Web of Life and Destiny has never accounted for lovers from different dimensions. Such relationships have actually occurred without disrupting the Canon.

If the probability of your first meeting is <0.001%, then Miguel has no choice but to create a new event under different conditions.

If the red thread of fate does not exist between the two of you, then his webs can fill up that space.

If he cannot find you in his dimension, then another version of you will suffice.

♡

*sobs* Why does Miguel O’Hara continue to torment me…….was 7.6k words not enough to satisfy him!! While his meeting with Variant! Darling in The Spider and the Fly is purely unplanned, the other parts of this post are relevant to their story. I just thought it would be interesting to explore Miguel's feelings in the event that their relationship is barred by even science and the multiverse >:3

Tag a Miguel O’Hara enjoyer!! @yanmaresu @yandere-romanticaa @yandere-daydreams @bweoo @kocherry @oofasleep @h2o2-and-baking-soda @yandere-wishes @curesi @weebsinstash @handsomeunderwear-art @literaree @pumpkin-toffee @mari-thesimp @miggyyyyohara @abyssalrot @letskidaddle

#miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o’hara #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o’hara x reader #yandere miguel x reader #yandere spiderverse #spiderverse x reader #tw: yandere #tw: kidnapping #fem reader #across the spiderverse #atsv #atsv x reader #yandere atsv #atsv miguel #spiderman 2099 #jessamine-writing

[leportraitducadavre]

Sharingan no Kakashi

Volumes Covered: 1-27 (first part)

Hatake Kakashi, the copycat ninja, has been a fan favorite amongst readers of the Naruto Manga since the very beginning. For as long as I have been on Tumblr, his image has been plastered everywhere to the point where his design is known even outside the manga’s universe: many people who are not usual consumers have seen at least one panel/screenshot/fanart of him.

When I first read the manga, I too became really invested in his story (he was the mysterious, possibly good-looking kind of character that as a teenager was appealing to me) but as years passed (more so now that I’m currently re-reading the manga), that appreciation shattered, or rather, dwelled.

This is not to say I hate him, nor that I’m encouraging enthusiastic readers of the manga to dislike him, my particular mention of this relies on the need to give those that choose to read this post a warning, for I will be analyzing particular aspects of his character that can (and should) be considered negative and/or controversial. 

Now, I’m not going to perform a detailed list of everything his character does during the first part of the manga because not only would it be excruciatingly long (and I don’t see the point in doing so for it beats the purpose of this meta), but also, because not everything about him is to be noted. In that sense, I chose some topics that interested me the most and that I consider important (if not central) to his characterization.

Long post:

Types of relationships

How does Kakashi Hatake interact with those around him? What kind of relationships does he prefer or does he have and how does the social aspect of shinobi’s culture shape the bonds he manages to create?

Mentor-student / commander-soldiers

During the first interaction of Team 7 (meaning, the one they have on the rooftop, not the one where Naruto pranks him) Kakashi asks the newly formed group to share personal information outside the data he already was given about them, however, when is his turn to share, his responses are extremely vague and general (here), preventing the team under his command to have any sort of knowledge about him outside of his military role. Furthermore, the way he decides to reply (that is the wording of his answer to, let’s remember, his own question), is not only empty of any meaning but also seems to be on the verge of mockery. Considering the way he acts and how other sensei ask the same thing (we can see that during Guy’s flashback), we can infer that the question wasn’t of his choosing, and he’s most likely following a script. 

To give some context to this introduction, Kakashi up to this point has performed the same questions for at least a few years to different groups of Gënin which failed to pass his test (we don’t know exactly how many, only that he’s being failing teams for years) - so it’s not weird for him to lack any sort of interest in this team since it might be no different from the ones he already failed. 

In addition, during this exchange, there are two dynamics that he introduces: 

1. The dynamic between a leader and subordinates (in the general aspect). As a commander, Kakashi is not required to share personal information with his underlings, they -however- are bound to share/do whatever he asks of them due to his superior position in the chain of power. 

2. The (non-existent, yet highlighted by this particular absence) relationship between teacher and students. Kakashi seems to start their link by severing it from the very beginning: he distances himself from the team, choosing to favor the dynamic leader-subordinate over the mentor-student (this will be cemented during CH 35, where he calls them “soldiers under his command”, and reiterated on CH 43 -where he refers to them as “subordinates”). Iruka becomes, by juxtaposition, one of the only real “teachers” inside the narutoverse.

The type of relationship we see between Kakashi and Team 7 (particularly Naruto and Sakura) seems to be replicated by every other Konoha team we are introduced to, except for some dynamics that can be put, in some way, inside the latter category: Kakashi/Sasuke (this dynamic in particular is presented in quite a toxic manner, I’ll expand on this later on), Asuma/Shikamaru, Gai/Lee and (to a lesser extent, since Team 8 was never focused on), Kurenai/Hinata.

About Kakashi and Sasuke’s dynamic (the one I mentioned could be more or less put inside the mentor/student category, although that specific label isn’t as strong as I might have implied), the headcanons about their relationship overtook many aspects of their canon interactions. 

It’s true that Kakashi favored Sasuke and it’s true that one of the canon reasons for him to do so was that they shared the same chakra nature (lightning), so Kakashi was more able to help Sasuke to develop some techniques. However, there’s a fandom misconception that Kakashi was planning and/or actually helping Sasuke with his Sharingan -but that’s simply not true. At no point in their training are we shown how Kakashi tries to help Sasuke once he “awakes” (rather, gets conscious access over) his doujutsu, furthermore, I don’t see an actual reason for him to do so:

First, Sasuke probably knows a lot about the Sharingan (he grew up in a clan where many members possessed it; canonically, his father and brother were users. We don’t have confirmation about Mikoto, but because of how the Sharingan might be inherited she might possess at least the genes). They had conversations about the Sharingan and Mangekyo (x, x), and Sasuke saw it while being used multiple times in its basic form (x) and even in its Mangekyou form (x), meaning, theoretically, Sasuke was more prepared and educated than Kakashi, even with no experience. Second, the Sharingan is quite literally Sasuke's nature; I don’t think he needed much help (if any at all) on how to use it. 

Beyond their chakra nature training, there’s not much Kakashi does or even proposes to do. Additionally, for Kakashi, training Sasuke also meant to do the least amount of effort while also implicated to gain the most prestige: Naruto was unstable -the Seal of Minato was tampered with by Orochimaru during the chünin exams which made him fail on basic skills (even those he had already mastered); Sakura didn’t reach the final stage -and for some reason, that meant no training for her, as if she didn’t need it the most*, while Sasuke was already internationally famous for being the last Uchiha: he was the main “spectacle” during the Final Stage. 

*[Sakura’s need to be trained after her tie with Ino is to be discussed in a deeper manner. The chünin exams are not real exams but displays of the military forces of each village, hence why Sakura wasn’t trained after her failure and why the focus was on both Sasuke and Naruto. The third stage of the exam is a spectacle for other Kages and Daimyos to see, hence why she -almost literally, mattered not].

To add to this discussion about Sasuke and Kakashi’s relationship, it’s important for me to touch -at least briefly (for going in-depth with this will extend this post to an unmanageable degree), Kakashi’s projection of himself onto his student. Let’s look at their similarities first in order to dispute them after:

a- They are both geniuses, which puts them in the “highest” position inside their respective teams: This particular aspect of them, in addition to receiving the constant praises of their peers during such formative moments of their life, made them particularly arrogant (this doesn't diminish the training Sasuke subjected himself to as to reach such level of skill, here).

Yet, while Kakashi refused to cooperate with his own team (Minato’s) and relied upon his newly achieved rank (Jönin) in order to tell them what to do (x, x, x) Sasuke creates a bond with his teammates to the point where Naruto -who, by all means, would refuse to obey Sasuke during their first interactions, often follows his lead or trusts his judgment. In this specific aspect: Sasuke constructed a bond with his team, while Kakashi didn’t.

[Their context while growing up is vastly different: Kakashi had to deal with something Sasuke didn’t: the dishonor that suicide brings particularly in Japanese society, x (and vice-versa, as Sasuke witnessed his brother murdering his entire family), however, both of them shared the pressure of knowing that they were the only ones capable of "bringing their families’ honor back", so it isn't weird for them to act in such manner.]

b- They share similar personalities: This is, of course, partially a consequence of the prior point (you’ll notice that Neji, also a genius, comes off as arrogant -yet I will not focus on this aspect particularly), but the main reason for this similarity is that traumatic experiences shaped their personalities and the way they approach other people. 

They both are rather passive-aggressive to others (now that I think about it, Neji is also like that -and a traumatic experience was indeed the reason behind such a mindset), yet Sasuke modifies his behavior the more time he spends with his teammates (he cheers up Sakura when she’s depressed, acknowledges Naruto’s strength during the chünin exams and saves their lives multiple times even when doing so puts his own life in danger and thus, jeopardizes his ultimate goal: kill Itachi). 

Kakashi, for his part, was far crueler and linear with his teammates during his youth (and I’m specifically making a comparison between kid Kakashi and kid Sasuke for that’s the parallelism Kakashi draws -which is the basis he uses to judge Sasuke’s actions later on), his response to the trauma of finding his father’s dead body was to live for and live by the rules established for Konoha’s militia to follow -to the point where emotions were aspects of himself or his teammates that he refused to acknowledge; in the same manner, he prioritized the mission’s success over his team’s safety (unlike Sakumo). Later on, with both Rin and Obito’s deaths, Kakashi modified parts of his personality in order to model himself after Obito (not the real Obito but the perception he got of specific parts he chose -or thought worthy of mimicking -more of this will be discussed in the Nationalistic Mindset part of this post). 

c- They both possess guilt complexes from which derived a strong feeling of inadequacy: This particular aspect is intrinsical, I believe, to Kakashi’s approach to Obito’s dogma (I won’t be expanding much for this is tackled, again, on the Nationalistic Mindset title). And again, both of them share a similar complex, yet their reason to have them is completely different (yes, they both might have survivor’s guilt, but it’s not the one I will speak of): Kakashi’s remorse lies in the fact that he wasn’t able to protect his teammates (once he formed a bond with them), he failed Obito -who died to save him despite Kakashi’s earlier attitude (I’m not diminishing Kakashi’s life, I’m pointing out Kakashi’s possible perspective about Obito’s death), and later on he failed him again when Rin died (he also failed Rin herself for not be able to prevent her kidnap). The manga doesn’t show us much of Kakashi’s trauma, but it’s somewhat safe to assume that he models his personality after “Obito” in response to this guilt, making himself someone “worthy” of both their teammates' sacrifices: he vows not to fail at protecting his teammates again, (“I will never let my comrades die”, here) for that’s what Obito taught him (here).

Sasuke’s guilt also has to do with his own incapacities, yet his main issue is that he wasn’t able to do anything against his family’s murderer (he arrived at the compound after they were killed), and it’s this specific event that germinated and blossomed into Sasuke’s core objective: Avenge and restore his clan [honour]. He could do nothing then, but he will do so one day. None of his family members “sacrificed” themselves for him to live (Itachi might have killed them to “save” Sasuke, but they would have been murdered regardless; sacrifice implies that those who perished took a conscious decision to die in another person’s place), so their background is nothing but different. 

In addition, these specific events (including Sasuke’s incapacity to fight against Gaara during the invasion or against Itachi in Shibuya), shattered both their conception as geniuses (which, in lieu of the arrogance they constructed around it, makes the fall from grace much more difficult to bear), which pushes them to extreme changes: Sasuke, to flee Konoha in order to polish his abilities and achieve his goal; Kakashi, to make his life a memoir of “Obito’s dogma.”

Personal bonds

The types of relationships Kakashi values are first shown in CH 8 when we are introduced to the Memorial Stone. He refers to those who are carved in such space as his “best friends”, a statement that is (at least) questionable once we learn Kakashi’s background and how his relationship with Obito and Rin actually was prior to their death. The only possible explanation about why they are his best friends is that he developed a deep connection with them after their death (in lieu of their sacrifices and the feeling of guilt such occurrences brought upon him), it’s possible (headcanon alert!) that he also twisted specific memories of them in order to elevate them and -later on, force himself to become someone “worthy” of their sacrifices, as he did modify the original quote from Obito.

In that sense, Kakashi’s relationship with Guy (at least during their first interactions) is particularly blown out of proportion, out of the three jönin-sensei, Guy is the only one who stands alongside Iruka (hence, against Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai) and asks them -but mostly Kakashi, to reconsider their decision to register their rookie teams in the exam. Kakashi replies by laughing at him, justifying his choice by stating that “what they lack in experience they make up in surprises” (I guess “surprises” encompasses the fact that one of them heals almost instantly thanks to Kurama and the other one already has the Sharingan, which replies absolutely nothing to the actual matter at hand), and finally proclaiming that team seven will make Guy’s team “eat dust”. 

After that, their next interaction is during the preliminary rounds, where Kakashi ignores Guy yet when Lee is fighting Gaara, Kakashi claims to be (literally) disappointed in him for teaching his student a forbidden technique, even if later on tries to cheer him up when Lee loses. And yes, the interactions are hilarious, yet the relationship is carried solely by Guy’s character for Kakashi is particularly closed on his one-sided relationship with his deceased team. That’s my point.

Emotional Manipulation

I have established before Hiruzen’s approach to the Will of Fire (exploiting people’s bonds and emotions in order to tie them to Konoha rather than a person/clan; basically constructing Konoha as a symbol that encompasses those who are dear to the shinobi, creating a nationalistic mindset where family=village. x), now, how does that dogma interact with Kakashi, influencing his actions and interactions with other people -particularly (but not limited to) Sasuke?

Kakashi has linked Sasuke’s capacities to the Uchiha Clan’s value since the bell test (CH 7), and repeated the behavior more cruelly in CH 18, and again in CH 27 (albeit this time positively, in the face of an enemy). The technique he uses to “push Sasuke forward” (in the sense of giving him motivation, since Sasuke’s bond with his family is intrinsic to him) can be (should be) considered emotionally manipulative. Should Sasuke fail or perform at a lower level than expected, it means the Uchiha Clan’s honor downfall.

Furthermore, Sasuke is not the “finest hope” of the clan, as he called him, he is the only hope since the only other member of the clan is Itachi, who massacred them, and Kakashi is aware of such circumstances. It’s different in Naruto’s case (Kakashi also displays emotional manipulation towards him) because he’s not linking a traumatic experience to his value -furthermore, he’s not linking the honor of an entire (deceased/killed) clan to his value, which is what he’s doing to Sasuke. The caption on Sasuke’s panel is “stab”, the words of Kakashi were purposefully chosen in order to downgrade Sasuke’s ego (I’m not denying he still uses them to “motivate” Sasuke -I’m questioning his methods). If we also take into account that Sasuke, at this point, has seen Kakashi’s Sharingan (and believed him to be part of the Uchiha clan) it gives his input more weight since Sasuke’s doubt about whether or not his teacher is related to the clan hasn’t been addressed yet (Sasuke didn’t ask nor does he know where Kakashi got the eye, and since he doesn’t know doujutsu can be transplanted yet, he assumes he might be a distant relative). 

In this sense, is to be added that, one, Jönin-sensei vow upon their clan’s honor that their students are ready for the Chünin Exams (CH 35), and two, Hiruzen, in CH 65, states that shinobi defend not only the balance between nations -but also, the honor of their village. It’s no surprise then that Kakashi is so insistent on tying the Uchiha’s honor to Sasuke’s name (Naruto is an orphan to whom a “generic” last name was given -even if it’s his mother’s, he represents no clan nor has any knowledge about his family, Sakura’s family name isn’t renowned nor important enough for him to even care).

However, and despite the fact that Kakashi’s abasement of Sasuke is harsher than the one he performs on Naruto, it doesn’t imply that such degradation doesn’t exist: Back in CH 10, after Team 7 is attacked (and for the first time for the three gënin, might I add), Kakashi says to him, “it never occurred to me that you would freeze up,” meaning, he elevates him first (implying that he did consider him capable enough to respond to an attack of such caliber), only to dismantle him from the previous conception he -apparently, possessed. His words leave such an impression that Naruto cuts himself with his own kunai: from a narrative perspective is a powerful moment -but hadn’t been for Kurama, Kakashi would have had an injured student (he even mentions he could bleed to death), so why apply such psychological pressure to a gënin that has already a lot of emotional stress from the earlier attack? From a teacher’s point of view, it doesn’t make sense, however, it does make sense from a commander’s point of view, something Kakashi has actually had experience on (Team 7 is literally the very first team he passed), so his methods of “teaching” are yet to be polished. 

[Jönin-sensei is a title where jönins (soldiers) are told to pass on their experiences/techniques to future members of Konoha’s militia, without being given pedagogical education to interact better with their students. Being a teacher (that is, a person actually capable of educating, with everything that it entails), it’s not important -being a good soldier is. This is incredibly highlighted during this interaction back in Chapter 3, where Kakashi calls this pedagogical situation a “mission”].

But this type of approach isn’t reserved solely for those under his command, showing that Kakashi either is not using it consciously as a tool -but rather is the way he was approached and, therefore, believes to be the usual way to speak to others; or that he’s constantly on “shinobi mode”, meaning, he uses every tool at his disposal (always, ever) to achieve the result he considers is the best (I, personally, believe this option to be the most truthful to his character, for he performs emotionally charged speeches to his own peers). 

An example of the point previously made: During CH 22 [Wave Arc] Inari and Naruto get into a fight, Inari screams at Naruto and the main character responds by calling him a crybaby. After the confrontation, Kakashi finds the little boy, and we have an interesting interaction where Kakashi talks to him and (without Naruto’s permission) tells him part of Naruto’s background for no real reason but to appeal to the emotions of Inari and build a case for his student (which isn’t strictly necessary, the kid doesn't have to like Naruto and -likewise-, Naruto doesn’t have to like Inari for the mission to be successful). 

What we see is what follows: Kakashi applauds Naruto’s way of handling trauma (he doesn’t cry rather, he hides his feelings) and, by juxtaposition, he brings back Naruto’s claim about Inari (him being a cry-baby) in order to criticize the young boy. Inari -who is a kid younger than Naruto-, is a coward and uses his pain to justify that supposed cowardice, Naruto doesn’t, which makes him better and should be reason enough for Inari to one, get along with him; and two make him a role-model.

Now, Inari is a civilian who lives in a civilian village and his experiences have nothing to do with those of a shinobi. Kaiza (Inari’s father) was publicly killed because he tried to defend his hometown, but he lacked the tools a shinobi possesses. Naruto grew up in a hidden village and the shinobi’s approach to death is completely different from what a civilian kid might be taught or experience. Naruto doesn’t have to know this, so his hostile reactions towards Inari are understandable from a character’s point of view, but Kakashi's reaction isn’t. People can argue that Kakashi, like Naruto, was taught and lives solely under the cultural aspects of his village, which is the reason why he brings Inari’s experience to his own sphere of understanding, yet while we can see that as his reasoning, it doesn’t mean we should condone it, as he has more experience outside his cultural bubble.

His words are successful, as we see here and here. Inari internalized both Naruto's and Kakashi’s speeches and instead of running to escape and reach safety, he decides to help his captive mother (who has been taken hostage by Gato’s men). Let’s add some more context: a young, untrained boy is forced through emotional manipulation (and here I will spare Naruto due to his lack of experience, but not Kakashi, who might understand things through the veil of his own culture while lacking the knowledge of civilian rules -yet he is aware of civilians incapacities during armed conflicts and still “pushed” Inari to take action against Gato’s thugs by glorifying Naruto’s behaviors) to “stop” being a coward (meaning: to confront trauma in a particular manner: the shinobi way, that has no claim in civilian society); and his life had to be literally saved by a ninja as a consequence. Furthermore, his cowardliness wasn’t an issue he was already struggling with before the shinobi arrived to the island, it was an uncertainty introduced by the group (brought in by Naruto -who knew no better- and cemented by Kakashi). 

It’s when Sasuke “dies” and Sakura recites one of the shinobi rules, that we learn that Kakashi and Naruto were judging Inari’s “cowardliness” through the perspective and internalization of the same rule Sakura is now reciting. Inari, as a civilian, can't be judged by those premises. 

I have pointed this out in some other posts but there’s no harm to reiterate: the pass from childhood to adulthood -unlike in the civilian society that follows different rules, is marked by the bestowal of the headband. That is, adulthood has little to do with age and more to do with rank. With that mentality, Naruto and Kakashi’s behavior towards Inari is slightly more understandable since, to them, his age is not an excuse to behave like a “child” (furthermore, Kakashi took the Chünin Exams when he was six, meaning he was considered an adult since that age). Yet, again, where Kakashi fails is in understanding that Inari is not governed by the same principles that he is. 

Nationalistic mindset

How do the Will of Fire and Obito’s apparent dogma interact? Did Kakashi’s character really have the possibility of seeing Konoha as an oppressive state that considered him nothing but a mere tool? Did he have the “potential” to rebel?

Back in Wave Arc, among many things, there’s an interaction between Tazuna and Kakashi, where Kakashi mentions that a previous Hokage (we aren’t told who) taught his people to “fight for what is right”, selling the idea to the civilian in front of him that his hidden village (specifically) is the “good” side against the “evil” side (Zabuza, Gato -even other hidden villages). However, this particular speech of Kakashi, which he gives solely to Tazuna and not to his subordinates (who, by Tazuna’s standards are children), clashes with the prior idea that “missions’ feuds are high and we do what we are paid to do” (assassinations or babysitting). Meaning: there’s a narrative to be told to civilians to shape their view of shinobi (particularly Konoha’s), and the actual reality that only Team 7 (as ninjas), gets to see. 

In addition, during Kakashi’s second fight against Zabuza (CH 30), Kakashi states that Konoha (therefore, he), knows about the swordsman’s attempt to coup and kill the current Mizukage -alongside his wish to raise funds to attempt another coup after his failure. We learned previously thanks to Haku’s background that there’s a bloodline cleansing currently happening in Mist; a genocide on such a large scale can’t be kept secret that long -furthermore, there’s no indication that the murders are happening quietly either since those who possessed Kekkei Genkai were pushed to hide their bloodline; and if Konoha knows about Zabuza and his attempt to take over the government, then they surely know about the reasons behind it. 

What I mean by this is what follows: Kakashi and Konoha claim that they fight for “the right thing” to those civilians they encounter, but do nothing -neither military nor diplomatically, to stop those massacres from occurring (nor do they take a stance against them either, as it reduces Mist numbers and weakens their military power). They’re still pretty much in touch with the Mizukage that carried out/ordered such killings, for his government was the one that told Konoha about Zabuza’s attempted coup when declaring him rogue. 

Kakashi downgrading Zabuza for working for Gato is, in a way, absolutely comical because not only is he working for an authoritarian regime, but he also downgrades someone who (even as despicable as he might be) is actually trying to do something against those who wronged him. Kakashi (under Konoha’s mindset), can’t differentiate between a person’s ambitions and their ideals, they might seem equal on the surface, but they are intrinsically different: One goes after an individualistic goal, and the other one is founded on the possibility of a communal achievement. To Zabuza, another individual raised under shinobi culture, killing innocent civilians to gain funds in order to bring down his oppressive government is a plausible course of action (we can make a value judgment on this, but this does not dispute the idea of Zabuza taking actual actions in order to overthrow the oppressive government in his village).

As said before, Kakashi doesn’t seem able to differentiate between personal ambitions and ideals, therefore, he will never be able to take a stand against Konoha. Hence, the belief/headcanon where Kakashi rebels against Konoha or has the “potential” to do so should Kishimoto “allow him to” is contradicted by Kakashi himself, to the point where he defends Konoha even when it’s not being questioned (building it in a positive light).

Furthermore, there’s an interaction that pretty much confirms this: Here and here. Kakashi admits that the belief system under which a shinobi’s life is valued “bubbles beneath the surface of his mind, disturbing him” (he also uses the plural, referring to the ninjas -as a kind, which means that from his perspective everyone feels uncomfortable with that mindset, and yet, no one seems to question it, for those who questioned are then labeled as missing-nin). Even if Naruto later on promises that he will create his own “Nindo” (and by context, that destiny is presented as opposed to the “I’m a tool” mentality previously discussed) and Kakashi smiles, there’s no actual denial of his current belief system. 

Kakashi was intended to be the representation of a nationalistic/pro-shinobi system mindset, as he follows the narrative’s stance (which, in turn, follows Naruto’s). Even after everything Kakashi said to Zabuza in order to degrade him (like, for instance, questioning his standards for affiliating with Gato and staging a coup), the moment Zabuza says “I won’t kill Tazuna because I won’t get paid, so let’s not fight”, Kakashi immediately agrees. His problem with Zabuza isn’t that his mindset is different per se, but that is opposed -at that moment- to Kakashi’s and his mission, once Zabuza is not at the other end of their fight, everything is forgotten/forgiven (he simply doesn’t care anymore).

Later on, because of this nationalistic ideology, Kakashi is willing to sacrifice his students’ well-being: Again, the Chünin Exams (analysis I made here), are nothing but staged wars in order to display each village’s military forces to draw the attention of potential customers; therefore, even tho Kakashi knows about Sasuke’s condition (Orochimaru giving him the Cursed Mark) - he stands against Anko when she asks the Hokage to pull Sasuke out of the exam. Even though he later on warns the child the fact that he allows such a dangerous situation to occur while putting the whole weight of the issue on Sasuke’s shoulders, is rather telling of his priorities.

Kakashi’s phrase (well, it isn’t Kakashi’s phrase but actually his interpretation of Obito’s) “I will never let my comrades die” (x) is solely true until Konoha’s wellbeing (in any sort of way, including prestigiously) is on the line. Dying is the only thing Kakashi protects them from, physical or psychological damage isn’t included.

The idea of him respecting and following Obito's true dogma is an absolute contradiction because Obito’s core ideology and Konoha’s are intrinsically contradictory, they can’t coexist and still be truthful to their basis. To Kakashi, Konoha is the symbol of peace -of his comrades, so the physical existence of an individual isn’t as important as the symbol’s survival, therefore, sacrificing his soldiers’ wellbeing to give the village more leverage during the chünin exams isn’t a problem -unlike them dying at the hands of Zabuza, which would mean Konoha failed on the mission and lost three gënin in the process.

And here I'll add this: Obito's actual phrase was "Sure, in a ninja’s world, those who violate the rules and fail to follow orders …. are lower than garbage. However….Those who do not care for and support their fellows…are even lower than that! If I’m scum…the rules are no good to me! And if breaking them makes me the wrong kind of shinobi…then I’ll crush all the so-called shinobi!!" here. In lesser terms, Obito's dogma is this one: If a system (shinobi's/Konoha's) prioritizes political/warfare success over the lives of those fighting for it, I will not be a part of such a system - furthermore, I'll rise against it. 

My claim of Obito joining Madara in his quest as something always existing at his core sustains mostly in this. Rin is a catalyst, for I'll admit, he didn't turn completely against it until her death when the system personally affected him and those he cared for (can he be blamed when he was taught to be loyal to it? It isn’t weird for him not to see such flaws until they impact him specifically, we can’t fault him for something so humane), yet his beliefs are right there and have always been there. 

The very important, very much intrinsic difference between Obito and Kakashi's approaches is that Kakashi (and later on, Naruto) puts the weight of his comrades' well-being upon his shoulders and his shoulders alone (his trauma with Obito's death, who sacrificed to save him, and Rin's who was "killed'' by his hand, are probably the main reason for Kakashi's specific approach to his former classmate's dogma), while Obito disputes the very basis of the issue. Obito isn’t blaming Kakashi per se but the rules that Kakashi, as a commander, chooses to follow indisputably (x, x). Obito will gain no awards or recognition for saving Rin while compromising the mission, on the contrary, he'll gain the same punishment Sakumo did: ostracization, now not only from the Uchiha but also from the general population. 

And here's the thing: at that moment, his respect for Konoha is so little that he doesn't care - going against the rules is going against Konoha, fine "I'm scum, I'll crush the so-called shinobi!!". Here Kakashi "fails" (yet it's to be mentioned he's a child soldier in distress and in the middle of a battlefield) to externalize the critique and place it upon the rules (hence, the system) where it belongs, rather, he internalizes it and blames himself, believing that he's responsible for everything since he was "too uptight" to bend (x and x).

Obito and Kakashi’s opposition comes from the answers to these questions: "What are they fighting for?" and "Why are they fighting for it?" (the what's and why's in narrative and character-construction by Dushman-e-jaan). The first answer might be similar as they both might answer, "Konoha", particularly at that point in time; it's the why, which drives the what, that's different. For Kakashi, as established prior (although, during his childhood, that might have been the answer as that's what he was told to do and what he was taught to want, rather than a personal conviction), Konoha in and of itself is what matters, the place, the land, the symbol of peace; while Obito's core belief would push him to say "Rin", as in, an individual; hence, “the people”. Then why would he choose to sacrifice Rin (the people) in exchange for the survival of a place created to ensure their well-being? In his eyes, it makes no sense (and yes, later on, he “betrays” his own core beliefs as he carries out the UCM for a "greater good", yet he does that because he considers the real world to be hell, so he cares not for it -x,x-, as the only world that matters it’s the I.T one). 

Obito was written by Kishimoto to be Naruto’s “dark” parallel, as he was a morally good child (wanted to become Hokage to stop the war, helped ladies on the street, even sought his master advice and changed his stance on Kakashi after Minato’s speech) that the environment transformed onto one of its darkest consequences (and well prior to Madara’s intervention as he claimed he would crush the “so called shinobi” shall he need to). Meanwhile, Kakashi reflects the pro-shinobi stance as he never even begun to question it when a child (the same could be said for Neji, who showed revulsion to his personal situation, and was definitely closer than Kakashi to rebel, yet he never questioned the status quo in itself).

It’s difficult to give closure to a post this charged and long (as of now, it’s fourteen pages), so I’ll finish up with this: Whether you agree or not with this post, try not to just blatantly insult me (if you end up doing it, oh well). I genuinely don’t care if you find my analysis revolting, and it’s just as easy as ignoring my blog altogether or creating your own post with your own takes and reading of the manga; I have no problem discussing these topics, but if your entire argument relies on your personal headcanons and you provide not a single panel of evidence I’m ignoring you, so don’t bother.

Here it is, spent months on this post (it depended on my re-reading of the manga, which is why it took this long), so I hope you guys enjoyed it and I want to personally thank those who read all of this, I genuinely appreciate it.

Cheers.

#naruto #naruto meta #kakashi #kakashi hatake #anti kakashi #anti kakashi hatake #anti shinobi system #anti konoha #obito #obito uchiha #sasuke uchiha #sasuke #naruto uzumaki #uzumaki naruto #uchiha sasuke #sakura #sakura haruno #haruno sakura #team 7 #team minato #rin nohara #team gai #long post

[sixstringphonic]

‘The Godfather of A.I.’ Leaves Google and Warns of Danger Ahead

(Reported by Cade Metz, The New York Times)

Geoffrey Hinton was an artificial intelligence pioneer. In 2012, Dr. Hinton and two of his graduate students at the University of Toronto created technology that became the intellectual foundation for the A.I. systems that the tech industry’s biggest companies believe is a key to their future.

On Monday, however, he officially joined a growing chorus of critics who say those companies are racing toward danger with their aggressive campaign to create products based on generative artificial intelligence, the technology that powers popular chatbots like ChatGPT.

Dr. Hinton said he has quit his job at Google, where he has worked for more than a decade and became one of the most respected voices in the field, so he can freely speak out about the risks of A.I. A part of him, he said, now regrets his life’s work.

“I console myself with the normal excuse: If I hadn’t done it, somebody else would have,” Dr. Hinton said during a lengthy interview last week in the dining room of his home in Toronto, a short walk from where he and his students made their breakthrough.

Dr. Hinton’s journey from A.I. groundbreaker to doomsayer marks a remarkable moment for the technology industry at perhaps its most important inflection point in decades. Industry leaders believe the new A.I. systems could be as important as the introduction of the web browser in the early 1990s and could lead to breakthroughs in areas ranging from drug research to education.

But gnawing at many industry insiders is a fear that they are releasing something dangerous into the wild. Generative A.I. can already be a tool for misinformation. Soon, it could be a risk to jobs. Somewhere down the line, tech’s biggest worriers say, it could be a risk to humanity.

“It is hard to see how you can prevent the bad actors from using it for bad things,” Dr. Hinton said.

After the San Francisco start-up OpenAI released a new version of ChatGPT in March, more than 1,000 technology leaders and researchers signed an open letter calling for a six-month moratorium on the development of new systems because A.I. technologies pose “profound risks to society and humanity.”

Several days later, 19 current and former leaders of the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence, a 40-year-old academic society, released their own letter warning of the risks of A.I. That group included Eric Horvitz, chief scientific officer at Microsoft, which has deployed OpenAI’s technology across a wide range of products, including its Bing search engine.

Dr. Hinton, often called “the Godfather of A.I.,” did not sign either of those letters and said he did not want to publicly criticize Google or other companies until he had quit his job. He notified the company last month that he was resigning, and on Thursday, he talked by phone with Sundar Pichai, the chief executive of Google’s parent company, Alphabet. He declined to publicly discuss the details of his conversation with Mr. Pichai.

Google’s chief scientist, Jeff Dean, said in a statement: “We remain committed to a responsible approach to A.I. We’re continually learning to understand emerging risks while also innovating boldly.”

Dr. Hinton, a 75-year-old British expatriate, is a lifelong academic whose career was driven by his personal convictions about the development and use of A.I. In 1972, as a graduate student at the University of Edinburgh, Dr. Hinton embraced an idea called a neural network. A neural network is a mathematical system that learns skills by analyzing data. At the time, few researchers believed in the idea. But it became his life’s work.

In the 1980s, Dr. Hinton was a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University, but left the university for Canada because he said he was reluctant to take Pentagon funding. At the time, most A.I. research in the United States was funded by the Defense Department. Dr. Hinton is deeply opposed to the use of artificial intelligence on the battlefield — what he calls “robot soldiers.”

As companies improve their A.I. systems, he believes, they become increasingly dangerous. “Look at how it was five years ago and how it is now,” he said of A.I. technology. “Take the difference and propagate it forwards. That’s scary.”

Until last year, he said, Google acted as a “proper steward” for the technology, careful not to release something that might cause harm. But now that Microsoft has augmented its Bing search engine with a chatbot — challenging Google’s core business — Google is racing to deploy the same kind of technology. The tech giants are locked in a competition that might be impossible to stop, Dr. Hinton said.

His immediate concern is that the internet will be flooded with false photos, videos and text, and the average person will “not be able to know what is true anymore.”

He is also worried that A.I. technologies will in time upend the job market. Today, chatbots like ChatGPT tend to complement human workers, but they could replace paralegals, personal assistants, translators and others who handle rote tasks. “It takes away the drudge work,” he said. “It might take away more than that.”

But that may be impossible, he said. Unlike with nuclear weapons, he said, there is no way of knowing whether companies or countries are working on the technology in secret. The best hope is for the world’s leading scientists to collaborate on ways of controlling the technology. “I don’t think they should scale this up more until they have understood whether they can control it,” he said.

Dr. Hinton said that when people used to ask him how he could work on technology that was potentially dangerous, he would paraphrase Robert Oppenheimer, who led the U.S. effort to build the atomic bomb: “When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it.”

He does not say that anymore.

(Reported by Cade Metz, The New York Times)

#fuck ai #A.I. #AI art #AI writing #ChatGPT #WGA strike #writers' strike 2023