#i wish. i really fucking wish. that people weren't weird about French.

[armatization-a]

You know I'm not surprised by Engage butchering French. Looks at 3H. But I mean it took me half the game to realise what the fuck Diamant was supposed to be bc I listen more than I read

Also I'm mad they pronounce Céline like that. Ah yes. Princess salt water.

#↻┊ ooc ( out of character. ) #yes it's the Sylvain thing again BUT this time there are more characters! #like they got Chloé right but not Céline?? did we or did we not all live through My Heart Will Go On #did we forget an ICON #and don't even get me started on Diamant wtf #i wish. i really fucking wish. that people weren't weird about French. #it's either exotified or mocked and i hate it #xenophobic comments will resort in a block.

[malaurymalfunctional]

1, 6, 12, 39

get asked things, dork (affectionate

welp, get your reading glasses out everyone

1: 3 things that shaped me into who i am

-1: luck. from the classic things like being born in a wealthy western country, being white (not inherently lucky but made me privileged/safer), having a relatively nice familly with no financial struggle, etc, to smaller stuff. like, it's a miracle i was never bullied in school. if it wasn't for that one person, maybe i would've died. i had free access to the internet since i was like 9, and somehow never stumbled on stuff that was inapropriate for my age

i consider myself quite lucky, despite all the hardships

-2: being trans. sorry to the people who think it's cringe when we make it our whole personnality, but it is litteraly so important. so central. i cannot fathom what i would be like if i weren't trans. that's just not the same person

-3: having weird ass parents. by that i mean that they're almost not like parents, more like... people i lived with that cared for me? i of course mean that in the sense that i don't have any special emotional attachment to them and all, but also that it doesn't feel like they raised me because they transmitted so little to me. my way of seeing the world, my hobbies, my fears, my political opinions, my general knowledge, my understanding of myself and others, my skills, i got them from, well, not them. the internet school, my friends, but not my parents. truly, i don't really know these people

6: best and worst part of being online

i've been here most of my life, so all the bad is just part of it. yes, that's where all the haters are. sure, all of the horrible things in existence can be found here. but that's also where my friends are. that's where community is. that's my only way of accessing at least 50% of what makes me happy. it has taught me so much about the world and myself, has held so many fulfilling experiences for me

if i had to choose 1 worst, i'd say transmisoginy i guess? i dunno, girl, i'm not even popular enough to get hate mail

12: a piece of advice i'd like to give

like i said in a previous post of mine i'm just 18. i'm like a baby. i feel like the least qualified person on earth to be giving advice. but i'll say one thing: advices are kinda bullshit. in essence they're opinions you think will be helpfull to someone else. but in my experience, they rarely are, especially when talking about life choices, mental health and the such. i watched hundreds of hours of self help videos, listened to people, went to therapy, and i felt like a fucking moron. i knew all the things, i had the advice, but it wasn't working. in the end, what helped me crawl out of the pit is time, love, and a bunch of stuff i'll never know about. find what works for you and ditch what doesn't; it's not because a piece of advice is true that it is helpful. searching for your solution will probably work better than just trying to apply the solutions others found

39: a youtuber i'm obssessed with

hard and specific

brennan lee mulligan? absolutely obssessed. a youtuber? not really

thegreatreview (he's french)? amazing youtuber. so fucking talented. obssessed? not really

dougdoug? obssessed by his entire cinematic universe for a while now. a youtuber? maybe 50%? it's all twitch streams highlights

john and hank green? ok i'll stop there

let's settle for brian david gilbert then, the man so nice they named him thrice. please buy his bed.

most well known for his Unravelled series on Polygon's channel, like the one about the sonic bible or the one about the smash bros osha violations, his personnal stuff is simply perfect, sometimes whimsical, like "i wish that i could wear hats" or "Pumpkin Cowboy", sometimes horrifying, like the one about the american healthcare system or "Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97", often a mix of both, like "we like watching birds" or "earn $20K EACH MONTH by being your own boss". his comedic genius is at its best when it is also at its weirdest. he's also the guy who made the sibling dance song, i guess

[alesreadings]

Loveless by Alice Oseman.

4.5 stars.

“Give your friendships the magic you would give a romance. Because they're just as important. Actually, for us, they're way more important.”

This is my first ace/aro book, so, it feels refreshing have a little bit of representation, even if it's not entirely like that (I felt it that way, tho, this is my case) for me. The review is from my POV on this, my feelings and reactions, ok? ok, thanks. Btw, if there's something that can be misunderstood, let me know and I'll change it. Georgia Warr has never been in love or kissed, and she's just 18. But she thinks she'll find a person some day. This is fine, actually, many people haven't had their first kiss in their teen years, and that's totally ok! Look at me, the next month I'll turn 23 and I've never kissed anyone. I used to think that THAT fact it was going to be the end of the world, since my friends were having romances at 15/16 y/o, having their first romantic relationship and their first kisses, and even sex. I had a lot of crushes at that age with many people, but I never thought it was important to have a relationship with someone. And that little fact was something to my ex classmates joke about like for 3/4 years. So, you can imagine how bad I felt for it. That bullying from my ex classmates generated on me a lot of insecurities, because they made me feel like I was a weirdo or a loser for not having kissed anyone by that time. I really believed that there was something wrong with me. At that age, we believe a lot of things that others tell us, so, I was naive and stupid for think that all of those things were true. In high school, had crushes too, but I never had a relationship because people only think in one thing (in my country, sadly is like that): sex. Back in my old school, I had a traumatic event that made me make sure about my sexuality, even if by that age I didn't know anything about it. So, in high school, I just had crushes, but didn't know what was that lack of sex desire toward the others. I never told this to anyone, because my ex "friends" really let me down making me believe that, indeed, I was a weirdo for not having pair or my first kiss yet. In the university, things changed. I made one year in History and I met the most beautiful and amazing girl on my French class. She's bi and her mind is so open and she's smart. I fell for her, we talked but I never confessed to her my feelings (yes, I'm a coward and I hate me for this). When I changed to my actual career, literature, I met one of my best friends. She's pan and once, while we talked with my other friends, she asked us who we fancied, I said: "no one", with fear believing that I was gonna be rejected or they were gonna laugh of me. My friend smiled at me and said "oh, you're asexual". I've heard that term before, but I didn't know what it meant, so I asked her if she could please explain me. She explained me a lot about the ace spectrums and I cried in front of my friends for two reasons: 1) they weren't judging me for haven't had a pair or my first kiss yet, and 2) because I finally had a name for my sexuality and I didn't feel entirely alone. My friends were and are very supportive with me and they mean the world to me. So, yes, I agree with that: friends mean a lot, even more when they're the correct ones. I've had a hard time accepting myself, I've struggled for years with myself, who I am and it's been a long process. I haven't come out to my family for many reasons, but mainly because they're very mind-closed and that scares me. I told my bestfriend (ex bestfriend by now) that I'm ace. And he laughed at me, when I explained him what it was asexuality, he said that it's an excuse for not having sex or pair before (he was in love with me and I rejected him like 6 years ago, lmao). That of course that made me feel like shit. But I realized that there's NOTHING wrong with me, that people will not always understand and that's ok, but I'm getting away from them. For years, I struggled so bad trying to accept me, to love me, because I had dark years when I hated me so much. I was in a dark place for so long, but when I finally accepted me for who I am, I naturally cried like a baby, but I felt proud of myself. It's a

big fucking step, but I'm no longer afraid of me. Yes, I'm still afraid of some people the whole time, but this is me trying. (please, get the taylor reference) This book having one of its main plots in friends touched me so bad. I wish I had those friends when I was 15 to 19 years, to encourage me, to support me and tell me that things were gonna be ok. I had found those friends now, and I look back to my old me and I don't feel pity or sadness anymore. Of course, I keep crying because I feel like I've waisted my life, or like future is uncertain and it scares me as fuck. But I'm proud of me, and no one can make me feel like I'm not worth it or like I'm weird. "My future still terrified me. But everything seemed a little brighter when my best friends were around." I still wanna fall in love, have a romantic relationship and feel those things, u know? Even if I feel like I won't gonna find someone who accepts me for who I am, and that shit is scaring. So, yes, I enjoyed this book, even if I wanted to kick Georgia so bad for many things and cry for others. Maybe nobody has told you this today, or you needed to read it/hear it, but: You are loved, you are valid, you are so fucking perfect the way you are. Never doubt about it. If you are struggling with so many things, take a break and breathe, take a deep breathe, cry, jump, laugh, do whatever you want, but you know what? You are gonna be ok. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will, and when you look back, you will feel proud of yourself and you'll smile so bright like the sun. It's a bad moment, not a bad life. And yes, please, never forget this. And just like Bruno Mars said: 'cause, hey, you're amazing, just the way you are. :) Also, Pip's mom is my heroine. She lived in Colombia and Manuel in London, and when Manuel went to visit his grandma, they met and fell in love. And they moved to LonDON. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I NEED THAT, PLEASE, TAKE ME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY, I'M SOBBING. "The I am loveless mood has just gone." "Neither of us were alone in this." There was something that it seemed a little bit out of line there. Not all aces are sex-repulsed. Idk if I'm the only one who understood that. But there are other aces who are not sex-repulsed. It's not wrong tho, it just gave me that impression. Also, a mention for tmm gang, they're the best people i've ever met, i love them with my life and i'm very thankful for calling them my friends. :') guys, if you see this, you know who are you, demons and angels <3

#loveless #alice oseman #4.5 stars #reviews #edits #edit #mine #ace-rep #aro-rep #contemporary #fiction #lgbt #queer #romance #standalone #young adult

[palaugranetes]

🔵BLAUGRANETS🔴

Ronald: I agree with @Iñaki on this.

Carlitos: Shocker!

Pedri: Night night! See you guys soon!

Oscar: ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻

31 March 2021

JC:Do you guys know how lucky we are being this far from Geri for le Poisson d'Avril???

Carlitos: The what now?

JC: Poisson d'Avril

Carlitos: My French is rusty bro, that means?

Riqui: By Rusty you mean non-existent right?

Carlitos: Tais-toi petit idiot

Riqui: You google translating that does not negate my statement genius.

Carlitos: FOR YOUR INFORMATION PETIT, I did not google it.

Riqui: Sure.. I believe you

Carlitos: I DID NOT.. I asked Nyom

Riqui: 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️

JC: Are you two done?

Riqui: Never

Carlitos: Yes, what were you saying Bro?

JC: Poisson d'Avril is April fool

Carlitos: HOW!!??!!

JC: It is

Riqui: Jan don't tire yourself.

JC: Hahahahaha

Carlitos: Doesn't poisson mean fish?

JC: Yes

Carlitos: April Fish?!?!

JC: It's a whole story

Carlitos: Blague d'Avril..

Carlitos: Tromperie d'Avril

Riqui: PROU!!

JC: I'll tell you on PM

Carlitos: Okay

Riqui: You were saying @JC?

JC: Right, we are lucky no?

Carlitos: Life finds a way.. or rather, if he wants to, Gerard Finds a way.

Riqui: Very true

Carlitos: But I feel if he was going to do something he would have done it on Dia dels Innocents.

Riqui: Possible, but one can never be too careful

Carlitos: You are oddly calm..

Carlitos: What are you up to?

Riqui: Nothing. I'm just saying

Carlitos: AhA

Riqui: Juro!

Carlitos: I SAID OKAY

JC: So he can still do damage

Carlitos: 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

Riqui: 🙂

.......

Ansu: OMG!!

Ansu: Guys WHAT IF GERI DECIDES HE WANTED TO PRANK JC AND CURLS ON APRIL FOOL'S!!!

Carlitos: Yes bro, we were literally just talking about that

Ansu: Oh.. where was I?

Riqui: In space clearly.

Riqui: HOW WOULD WE KNOW?!.. YOU WEREN'T HERE

Ansu: Right...

Dembz: Are you okay broski?

Ansu: I think so. I took a nap earlier and I feel like I wiokeoup in aanothred demtoiodn

Dembz: I was with you up until like

Ansu: up until like what?

Dembz: THE WORD LIKE

Ansu: HUH???

Dembz: "Ansu: I think so. I took a nap early and I feel like I wiokeoup in aanothred demtoiodn" WHAT DID YOU MEAN AFTER LIKE?!

Ansu: AFTER LIKE WHAT

Dembz: I give up someone else deal with him

Pedri: You took a nap and what?

Ansu: It feels like I woke up in another demention

Dembz: WELL YOU SURE WROTE LIKE YOU WERE FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!

Frenkie: Yikes.. that has happened to me before @Ansu I know that feeling.

Pedri: How are you today bud?

Frenkie: I'm alright.

Francisco: Did you get some sleep? A little R&R?

Frenkie: I did

Francisco: 🧐🧐🧐🧐

Frenkie: I did, I promise. I slept 8 hours two days ago and 6 hours last night

Ronald: Why six?

Frenkie: I had to go .. and after that I couldn't sleep anymore. So I studied for a bit.

Ronald: Studied??

Frenkie: Yes Català

Riqui: 🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰

Frenkie: 💜

Riqui: But you are feeling better?

Frenkie: Yes

Pedri: If you say so.

----------

Ansu: It's March 31st right?

Arnau: Yes?

Ansu: Okay

Arnau: Weird

Iñaki: 😂

------------

Sergiño: Why does Jordi insist on replying with memes?!

Pedri: 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

Riqui: Jordi for you.

Dembz: Just what Grizou needed an enabler

Ilaix: And the Dad jokes are the worst.. idk whether to laugh or cry

Ilaix: @Carlitos where are your dad jokes?

Oscar: Please don't

Ilaix: I wanna hear his dad jokes

Oscar: No you don't

Ilaix: I do

Ansu: No you do not

Carlitos: Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.

Carlitos: That's the punch line.

Riqui: Look what you did now

Carlitos: Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

Ilaix: Idk, why?

Carlitos: Because all the fans left.

Ilaix: GOSH

Ansu: Which dimension doesn't have Carles telling jokes in it? I would like to go there.

Carlitos: I don't play football because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!

Ronald: Shoot me.

Arnau: Okay we get it Carles.. Please stop

Oscar: I BEG YOU PLEASE

Ilaix: I regret asking

Iñaki: 😵😵😵

Carlitos: Five out of four people admit they're bad with fractions!

Riqui: DO NOT GO INTO MATH JOKES

Dembz: This is the bad place

Carlitos: Ilaix asked 😌

Sergiño: Some questions never require answers. THAT WAS ONE OF THEM

Carlitos: Ask and you shall receive.

Ilaix: Thanks I hated them I would like to give them back.

Carlitos: No returns. No refunds.

Ilaix: 😫😫

1 April 2021

Pedri: Guys

.......

Pedri: Nevermind

.......

Riqui: ??

.......

Pedri: I'll tell you ON Pm

Riqui: Okay

.......

JC: 🤨🤨🤨

JC: What was that about?

Iñaki: 🤷🏼‍♂️

Oscar: Who the hell knows

.......

Unknown number joined via invitation link

Frenkie: Hello??

Francisco: Hiya!

........

JC: ????

Pedri: Hi there

Ronald: Who is this now?

Ilaix: 🤷🏿‍♂️

JC: I don't like this! Identify yourself!

JC: WHO ARE YOU??

Dembz: Let them breathe fréro..

JC: BUT WHAT IF IT'S HIM?!

Riqui: Um.. who is here?

JC: YOU TELL US

Riqui: HOW WOULD I KNOW?!

Carlitos: You are the admin idiot!

Riqui: But I never gave the link to anyone other than Leo!

Carlitos: FUDGE

Carlitos: FUCJ*

Carlitos: FUCKING FUCK*****

Pedri: He wouldn't though

Frenkie: Yeah I think so too

JC: YOU SAID LIFE FINDS A WAY!! MAYBE LIFE FOUND A WAY AND HE GOT THE LINK

JC: WE ARE EXPOESD NOW! This is all your fault @Carlitos

Carlitos: ME? RIQUI IS THE ONE WHO GAVE THE LINK AWAY

Riqui: TO LEO!!!

Pedri: Guys.. I'm sure there is an explanation

Sergiño: Agreed

Sergiño: but also.. this is still sus

Unknown number joined via invitation link

Carlitos: WHO IS THIS NOW

Sergiño: Okay.. now you can panic

JC: WE ARE WELL PAST THAT

Frenkie: 🧐

Oscar: Um.. who?

Riqui: Who is this??

Ronald: 2 new people??

Arnau: Who?

Ronald: Idk I just got here

Ansu: Oh dang

JC: I NEED TO KNOW

Riqui: We should stop talking.. maybe they would speak then

Ansu: Okay logical?

----------

Arnau: That clearly worked.

Riqui: 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

......

Unknown number: Hello idiots

JC: FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT IT'S HIM!

Riqui: Calm down

JC: I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU HE KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME

Ansu: *Runs*

Ansu: I wish I can irl

Pedri: Soon

Ansu: 💜

JC: i cannot..

Unknown number: Hello morons

JC left

Arnau: 😵

Unknown number: Wow that really was easy

Unknown number: Yes it was

Iñaki: So it really is 2 people

Ronald: hm

Oscar: Jordi and Geri?

Unknown number: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ansu: 😠😠😠

Riqui added JC

Unknown number: 😈😈😈

--------------

Iñaki: It's 23:00 and no one is talking.

Iñaki: It is both peaceful and unsettling.

Frenkie: Very

Arnau: Thanks??

---------

JC: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU

2 April 2021

Unknown number: Alex😜😜

Unknown number: Konrad 😎😎

Ronald: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Unknown number: It was Riqui's idea

JC: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Unknown number: And Pedri and Fran

Ansu: GASPS!!!!!!!

Oscar: IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES!!!

Arnau: YOU SNEAKY SOBs!!!!!

Francisco: 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

Frenkie: I'm actually impressed

JC: I hate you three

Pedri: Hahaha it was April fool's!

Iñaki: I knew I smelt something fishy

Dembz: NO FUCKING WAY!!!

Dembz: WOW

Dembz: 😂😂 good one

Riqui: 😉😉😉

Arnau: Who was the mastermind behind this?

Pedri: Fran

Ansu: THIS IS WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES!!

Francisco: Hahahahahaha

Unknown number: Okay.. See ya

Ansu: Bye whoever that was

Unknown number left

Unknown number: That was Konrad..

Unknown number: Ciao for now

Riqui: Adeu!

Pedri: ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻

Unkown number left

------------

Riqui:

Riqui: HAHAHA I wonder what that message he sent to Leo was 😂😂😂

Pedri: OMG Hahaha poor Antoine

Francisco: I wonder if we all send Leo a message who he will reply to first.

Ronald: NO

Ronald: NO MORE SENDING LEO MESSAGES OUT OF CONTEXT

Arnau: Fran you've been hanging out with Riqui way too much

Dembz: HAHAHAHAHAHA He does talk a lot! Can you blame him

Dembz: LINK PLEASE

Riqui: I wouldn't but sure

Riqui:

Riqui:

Riqui: HAHAHAHAHA that's because he is always here Clem

Ansu:

Ansu: I remember that hahaha I was very confused at first

Frenkie: That was nothing.. I almost sent something to the main one that was meant for this GC!!!

Ansu: OMG

Frenkie: Yeah, close call hahaha

Oscar: Whenever he is asked if he can be considered *insert particular position*

Frenkie: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Dembz: WHAT IS THIS FRENCH IDIOTS ATTACKING OUSMANE VIDOE?!?!?!

Dembz: 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Ansu: Your bestie

Dembz: EX BESTIE. FRIENDSHIP WITH ANTOINE ENDED. Sergiño is now my best friend

Ansu: HURTFUL!!

Dembz: 😂😂

Sergiño: 🤜🏽🤙🏽

Dembz: 👊🏾🤙🏾

Oscar:

Oscar: He really went for you neck huh

Dembz: RIGHT?!

Dembz: He's not lying

Dembz: BUT HE DID NOT NEED TO EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT?!

Ronald: HAHAHAHAHA

-------------------

Carlitos: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!! ALEX AND KONRAD WERE THE NUMBERS?????!!!!!!

Pedri: Yes 😂😂😂😂😂

Carlitos: MEAN!!!

Francisco: HAHAHA

Carlitos: I hate you guys

Riqui: Love you too rizos

Carlitos: 💙fuck off

#Blaugranets gc #blaugranets #babies gc #blaugranets requests #esp 25 #ansu #arnau #carlitos #dembz #fran #ilaix #Iñaki #jc #oscar #pedri #riqui #ronald #Sergiño #Featuring Alex #Featuring Konrad #incorrect fcbarcelona quotes #incorrect football quotes

[limenysnocket]

●The Blush Bet●

Pt. II: The Date. . .

Summary: After losing the blush bet by a few points, (Y/N) has to go out on the-- as Taika calls it-- "Worst Date of Her Life" with him. She has no idea what he's going to do, but she does know she's going to be wearing a very pink, very frilly and very short dress on the date tonight.

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

Author's note: This is about to turn into a series and I'm LIVING FOR IT.

Warnings: Alcohol usage, swearing and very unsavory clothing.

●□■●□■●□■●□■●

This was it, wasn't it? This was fucking it.

This was the thing that made sure that Taika was never ever going to be a part of your funeral comitee.

You stood there, looking at yourself in the mirror, your face scrunched up in pure disgust like a teenage girl who just got a ketchup stain on her "perfect" prom dress. But wait, imagine this. You're in the prom dress, for real and it's the UGLIEST thing you have ever seen. You would vomit on it if you could, but this date was going to happen no matter what happened, so you would just have to try and not cry/embarrass yourself any more than you will, the moment you step outside of your door.

The dress itself was pink (extremely pink) and incredibly frilly. This wasn't the thing that bothered you, despite the complete uncomfortableness of the scratchy ruffles, was how terribly short it was. It showed off too much thigh and you swore, if your panties were any longer, they would be showing. You were actually starting to hate yourself again, just by the sight of you in this dress. It was utterly disgusting. So unflattering, so horrible, so uncomfortable that you could call off this entire date right now and you wouldn't be ashamed.

You were on the verge of tearing this dress right off, but a knock at the door and a loud honking of a horn outside stopped you. You let out a long groan and a very sad whine before you even had your hand on the doorknob.

You opened the door and your eyes immediately went to the very (very) old gentleman before you, who looked like he had both feet in the grave and was so ready to lie down in it at any second. He was cheery though, despite his... appearance. He was dressed in a grey vallet suit and a dimpled cap. It looked old, but it suited him well. "Your ride is here, ma'am. He's quite the lively fellow, I must say," he chuckled, scratching his chin with a gloved finger. He turned with you to face the whole limosene, parked just outside, as the horn let out another shrill holler. You knew exactly who was inside the car and honking at her, and she saw his head come popping right up out of the top of the open sunroof.

"(YYYY/NNNNNNNN)!!" Taika yelled, the big dorky grin on his face while he used his foot to honk the horn for each extended syllable of your name.

"What the hell are you wearing!?" You blurted. You should really be saying it to yourself more than him.

"I bought it at Good Will! Are you impressed?" He cackled, bouncing on his heels.

Taika was dressed in a very daddly button up, short-sleeved shirt that was decorated in very blurry and cartoonish, red cherries. You couldn't see it, but he was also wearing tan cargo shorts and a pair of black crocs. So, he was making this embarrassing for both you and him, huh? He had no shame.

"Wow, I've never been so turned on before," you say, the sarcasm leaking out of your voice shamelessly. He only grinned at you and continued waving you over, while people on the street stopped and stared for a minute before walking on, their heads down, and some even quietly giggling over the stupid encounter.

The old driver took you down the steps slowly and opened your door for you, where Taika was waiting with an incredibly cheesy grin. You gave him an up and down look with an extremely horrified look. You still couldn't believe he was wearing that stuff. "I like you better in pineapple print..." You mumble.

Taika laughed, "Too bad."

The car engine started with a very loud complaint from the engine. If you had known any better, you'd up and think that the entire car was about to fall to bits within the first few seconds it made it onto the road. But no, you weren't THAT lucky tonight. There was still a limo to carry you around, which meant that there was still a date. Unfortunately.

"How badly do you plan to make me suffer tonight?" You turn your head and face him, crossing your arms.

"Really badly," he smirked and winked at you.

"Really really?" You said, almost through bared teeth.

"Really really," he repeated and settled himself down into an even more comfort position, spread eagle.

You rolled your eyes and scooted away, almost uncomfortable as his knee came into contact with your thigh. "Do you have to do that? We're the only people in this dumb limo besides Butler Alfred up there," you jacked a thumb at the driver's seat ahead of you, where the pleasant old man was happily bouncing along to the rhythm of the car.

"For your information," Taika butted in, pointing a finger at you and changing his posture yet again, "his name is Robert and he's way cooler than any Batman butler out there. Secondly, yes. The goal is to make you uncomfortable and give you absolutely no breaks, whatsoever."

You groaned, leaning your head in your hand as you watched the average buildings trickle into expensive French and Italian restaurants. Your eyes widen the closer and closer you got to the rich and fancy part of town, still riding along in your old fart limo. "Taika Waititi, this better not be what I think it is. You're not going to make me step out of this car, looking like princess bubblegum and her sidekick poorly dressed dad man, in front of the richest damn side of town!"

He was only giggling beside you, like a kid, and that scared you. Suddenly, the limo stopped and you sunk in your seat. Outside of your window was one of the most richest, fanciest restaurants there is in Los Angeles.

"Suuuuurpriiiiiiise!" Taika grinned at you, running a hand through his curls then quiantly stepping out of the car as Robert the vallet opened his door, then went to open yours.

"M'lady~," Taika smirked and offered his hand out to you as you prepared to get out of the car. You slapped his hand and got out of the car. "Youch," Taika chuckled, hiding the bright red pain in his hand with a grin.

You got out of the car yourself, only giving Robert a nod to thank him. You said nothing to Taika and stood at the front of the car, receiving weird and chortling glances from people dressed up snootily. They all stuck their noses up at you as they walked into the massive two story building, completed with an archway entrance. You didn't show Taika this, but now you were on the verge of a breakdown. You didn't want to go in that restaurant. Not like this. Not on these terms.

You have never been in this restaurant before. Not even close. You thought that you would have to marry a rich, Austrian Lord to get in there. You didn't know, at the time, that Taika was spending a large amount of money for you and this date. The outfits, not so much, but that was simply so he could actually afford to take you to such a place.

You sat on the hood of the limo, your stomach and knots. You could feel Taika's gaze on your skin, mixed in with the many others from passersby. You couldn't feel, however, that it was full of sympathy and regret.

There was another weight added onto the hood and it made you jump. Why, wasn't it the daddly Taika.

"Neat place, huh?" He hummed, looking up at the grand building above the two of you.

You drew in a shaky breath, a grimace spread across your face. "Yeah... It is..." You said, shame dripping from your tongue. This was hurting the poor man's heart.

"Too bad we're not eating there, huh?" He put on a sticky grin and you whirled around to face him and smack his arm.

"Are you seriously telling me that you made me sit out here and get stared at by all of these dumb rich people!?" You yelled and got sneered at by people you didn't know, also ignoring the fact that you, yourself, were infact, rich too.

"I didn't make you sit in front of all these people. I just offered to take you out of the car. Robert likes the building and asked if we could make a pittstop," Taika laughed and fended off your hand with an equally hard slap to your arm.

"Oh, Robert, my good man. I would like to request we get going. No more sight seeing," Taika grinned at the elderly man who was fiddling with an ancient quarter in his coat pocket.

"Oh, but where possibly to, sir?" Robert looked up, dazed and confused. So much for enjoying the sight of the building.

"To the bar, my good chum," Taika got up and you quickly followed in pursuit, eager to get out of the spotlight and stop becoming measly entertainment for the earnings of snooty laughter.

"Oh," Robert seemed a little confused, then took his hand out of his pocket to stop fiddling with the coin. "Alrighty then. Any particular requests?"

"Just something on the less rich side of town, but nothing too on the dumpy side," Taika put in his request while he opened a car door for you to get in, then went in to get in on the other side.

Robert nodded, lifted his cap and scratched the bald part of his head, set his cap back down and got in the limo once more.

You, including Robert, were a little confused when it came to this interaction. Did Taika check to see if Robert had a case of Alzheimer's, or was he pulling a big fat joke on you. You just kept quiet and breathed a deep sigh of relief as the fancy buildings melted away into the more average side of town.

Eventually, the long and very quiet ride was over and the limo pulled up along the curb of a pretty decent bar. It was at half capacity with people the time you arrived and it was quite simple. Simple, neon "Open" lights hanging in the window, simple sign hanging above the door and simple people, dressed in simple clothing heading in and out. You wished you could be a simple person at that moment, but Taika still refused to let you have that.

You stepped out once Robert politely opened the door for you again. You would tip him if your stupid dress actually had pockets. Yet another curse upon this night.

You step up onto the curb and Taika is waiting, extending a hand to you once more. You gulped and stared at it. Even here, you could feel the unworldly stares of those around you. Well, who wouldn't stare? You looked like the human epitome of Pepto Bismal and Taika looked like a dad trying too hard to look normal, but fucking it all up in the end.

"You know how much I hate this, don't you?" You said, hesitantly looking at his hand. His other one was tucked into one of the, what seemed to be, hundreds of pockets in his cargo shorts.

"Yup," he said, letting the P out at the end with a pop from his lips, exaggerating his pronunciation a tad more.

"I feel so spoiled," you sigh and clap your hand on top of his extended one, your fingers tangling with his, and without warning, he was dragging you inside.

A little bell chimed as the door opened again, and the smell of hot wings, booze and heady cologne. It was a smell you recognized and one you'd never forget. You couldn't count how many times you had sat in a bar like this one before you were a Hollywood success like you were now.

Taika guided you over to a secluded booth that had one, red wax colored light dangling above. If either one of you were to lean too far across the table, perhaps to steal a fry or grab the salt, your forehead would collide against the damn thing and leave a mark purple enough to make someone think that your secret lover had left a hickey smack dab in the middle of your head. You took a mental note of the light, and you were sure Taika did too.

"Allowed to spoil any plans?" You said, a grin perking up on your face since you were finally away from prying eyes and listening to Lynrd Skynrd play their hearts out over the speaker system hooked into the ceiling.

"Nope. All the plans are exclusively meant for me to know," he tapped his temple with his index finger and gave you a wide grin. You knew how much of a fib that was, for sure, just by the smile.

"You have no idea what's going to happen, do you?" You say bluntly, folding your arms. Taika's smile gets even wider and he lets out a very breathy laugh.

"Totally!" He cackled. It was a goofy enough laugh to even make you start laughing a little too. He was such a dork. You couldn't help it, honestly.

A waiter eventually came and took your order and both of you started laughing and joking about how they had looked at the two of you so strangely. There was a big debate on whether the two of you should leave a big tip for putting up with your guys' shit, or leave a small tip since they had secretly questioned your morals and the way you were dressed with just one look.

Taika took a hearty slug of pint, cheeks pink and dazed with his slight drunkness. Rock bands had been playing all night. Metallica, Lynrd Skynrd, Guns N' Roses, System of a Down, Nirvana and any other daintily old, yet popular group. You never took the time to look into Taika's music interests, and that made you all the more oblivious to the fact that he liked a few songs from the band Aerosmith.

"Oh God, I love this song," he groaned sodtly, his whole body starting to sway just as 'Crazy' by Aerosmith began to play and he closed his eyes like a weeping, dedicated fan. His eyes suddenly shot open and looked directly at you, "You have to come dance with me."

"Excuse me?" You said, just as you took a sip of your own pint. "I don't dance."

"Yes, you do. Now, come on!" He smirked, grasping your hand from across the table and dragging you, once more, out and in front of a bunch of slightly drunk people that you don't know.

"Taika, really?" You look up at him and whine. He hushes you without a second thought and pulls you up close to him and your nose buries into his chest. His arms slither and wrap around your waist. He has you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Damn you, Waititi," you whisper, your cheeks ablaze with color as he sways you around the dance floor.

"Love you too, babe," he hums, closing his eyes and grinning with glee as other drunk couples came out and danced along with the music. To be the little bit extra that he was, Taika took the liberty to even do a little fancy spin and a tiny dip. You giggled the entire way through, and nothing could have been a better sight than that to Taika.

The night ended with much more slow dances, lots more drinks, and a bill piled up high. You paid for half of everything and he paid the other half before the two of you left. Robert was waiting outside, chatting up this lovely little old lady that appeared to be close to his age. She scampered off once she realized Robert's customers had come back from their randevou.

"Did you find yourself a date, Robert?" You giggled, walking right up to the now open door that the old man was holding open for you.

"Nah. She was way outta my league. Pretty, though," he grinned and you couldn't help but laugh as you ducked your head and climbed back into the limosene while brushing off the crumbs from fries from your dress. Taika sat right next to you and pat his stomach, full from a night indulging on junk food.

Robert was the last one in and he took the limo away from the curb and joined in with the traffic.

It was a lit slower getting home, and yoh felt yourself getting sleepier and sleepier. Your eyes drooped and your body began to lean in the direction of your door, but as the weight of your body began to fall, it was redirected by a gentle hand, and your head was soon rested against a warm body. You looked up and saw Taika with that classic grin. That cheeky little shit. You laughed, "Thanks," and just kept your head there, seeing as Taika's shoulder actually was more comfortable than the cold window or scratchy seatbelt.

"No problem," Taika whispered back to you and let his body relax to the sound of faint honking horns from outside the window and the blasting air conditioning. He kept you warm all throughout your delivery back home.

You couldn't help but feel a little sad whenever you felt the limo come to a stop and you slowly lifted your head from Taika's shoulder. You refused to let the kiwi see your disappointment, however.

Robert came and opened your door, again, and you actually gave the sweet man a tip this time with quite a bit of the change left from paying at the bar. He was happy with what he got. Taika stepped out too and walked you right to your door, like a gentleman. You turned to him to say goodbye.

"You know," you started with a soft laugh, "I was kinda expecting this date to be a lot worse."

"It could have been," Taika said, "But I have a heart, you know. Always so sympathetic."

You punched his arm playfully and he did it right back, only softer. "I'm actually quite curious," he said suddenly after the both of you sat in comfortable silence, "If you had won the bet, what would you have done?"

You winced and giggled at this, biting the inside of your cheek. "I was going to bedazzle your mustache and have Pedro help, since he seems to know a lot about it. I was going to put glitter in it and everything. Like Twilight," You cheekily quoted "What We Do in the Shadows" in front of him and that put a happy little grin on his face.

"You wouldn't dare," he said right back, not thinking of a snappy enough comeback.

"Oh, but I do..."

The silence settled in again and your cheek remained between your teeth. You drew in a deep breath and Taika took a step closer. "You know," he said in a very low voice, "I can take you out on another date sometime..." He started to lean in, his face drawing closer to yours and his lips only mere inches away. "Next time... possibly as something more than friends..."

His lips were expected to come into contact with yours, but they only came into contact with something less intimate. Your thumb.

"You forgot the one rule of this date," you said in a very hushed whisper. "I'm not allowed to fall in love with you..."

You pulled your thumb away from his lips slowly, admiring how his bottom lips stuck against it and slipped so silkily over it. "Goodnight, Taika," you said, internally kicking yourself for not kissing him in that perfect moment.

He didn't say anything back. He merely watched as you unlocked your door and slipped inside, leaving him wanting and yearning on your step. He let out a heavy sigh as the porch light flickered on and he raised his hand, as if to knock on the door and plead for you to come back out again, but he stopped himself and turned to Robter, who was just getting off of the phone.

"Mr. Waititi, the big restaurant you and the Miss were supposed to go to just called to tell you that they canceled your reservation, since you didn't show up. Do you want me to call them back?" Robert said, holding up a phone.

"No, Robert, that won't be necessary," Taika sighed.

"Oh," Robert shrugged, "where to now, sir?"

"Home, if you wouldn't mind it, sir," Taika said and slipped back into the seat of the limosene, the seat still drifting with the scent of your perfume.

#taika waititi x reader #taika waititi #what we do in the shadows #x reader #fanfic #series #Viago

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: still stalking mckenna Joe: what, we can't BOTH like music? Joe: that's gonna be problematic for me tbh Ronnie: mozarts ghost aint gonna possess him in the encore Ronnie: you can fuck off Joe: you can enjoy your night Joe: I'll take my chances Ronnie: take your chances somewhere else Ronnie: or you wont have any Joe: you looking out for me? Joe: not necessary, I promise Joe: you look like you got your hands full as is Ronnie: its a threat Ronnie: shouldnt be necessary Joe: my apologies for making you work harder but its still not cutting it Ronnie: [throws something at him in a dangerous manner watch out everyone] Ronnie: we can both be into cutting Ronnie: not a problem for me Joe: [when he's probably with his flatmate or similar like they will complain honey they basics lmao, meanwhile just like 😏] Joe: careful, people will think you care Ronnie: what fucking people Ronnie: your girlfriend Joe: for one Ronnie: muzzle your bitch or give her shit to sink her teeth into Ronnie: it aint complicated Joe: I don't think not glassing randoms is exactly rocket science either Ronnie: nothing random about you Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: you want some projection with that Joe: I found you, remember Ronnie: wasnt hiding nancy Ronnie: not still a runaway kid Joe: then don't hide Joe: I weren't looking for you, alright Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you said there aint no other bastards Joe: I meant tonight Joe: this is just coincidence, nothing more Ronnie: leave then Ronnie: your buyers remorse is about as welcome as you Joe: hardly Joe: that's not what it is either Ronnie: they were all out of shiny sisters baby Ronnie: take what you can get Joe: I've already got one of them Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i remember Joe: you don't want a refill then Joe: replace the one you tossed Ronnie: you on the spectrum or do you not wanna read social cues Joe: well I ain't leaving either way but if you don't wanna make the most outta it Joe: 👍 Ronnie: keep putting words in my mouth & see what happens to yours like Joe: what spectrum are you on if you think that constitutes a please and thanks Ronnie: take it up with your ma Ronnie: she wasnt about to teach me how to play nice Joe: not really her forte Ronnie: thats why im still waiting for my plane ticket home yeah Joe: possibly Joe: I don't know Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: how olds your good sister Joe: jury is out on good Joe: but 14 so we'll wait and see Ronnie: ill fucking drink to that Ronnie: if she was a write off shed already be Joe: depends on your perspective Joe: I try not to have one Joe: [is at bar] Ronnie: depends on your mas Ronnie: we cant all be black sheep Joe: exactly Joe: they don't really get on Joe: but she's probably just dreading the PTSD a teen pregnancy scare will bring Ronnie: should have kept me around Joe: yeah Ronnie: 1 more abortion and your country would offer me a fucking exorcism Ronnie: fun for all the family Joe: some girls have all the luck Joe: would not believe how hard it is for a lad to get one 🙄 Joe: [just putting the drinks for 'em on their table, when Charlie probs gonna flirt with you like oh hey] Ronnie: your girlfriend will let you hold her hand for her 1st Ronnie: stop sticking it in your cello & youll knock her up in no time Ronnie: [just staring at the drink like you've never seen one before] Joe: come on, she's CoE if I've ever seen it Joe: abortions? sure, but exorcisms ❌ Joe: [tryna just walk off but you know they'd be like who are you hello?! 'cos annoying lmao] Ronnie: not in ireland anymore baby Ronnie: [when you walk off like where the fuck have you got to be my dear] Joe: [at least he's not gonna drop the bomb, just being vague af like oh we met once or whatever goodbye] Joe: you gone yourself? 🛫🍀 Ronnie: on whos 💰 Joe: idk, your pals maybe Joe: but I've fucked off so he can at least top up your drink 'cos its long gone too Ronnie: wanker Ronnie: [comes back and punches charlie love you boy] Joe: [just wait 'til you have your own mindblown with that crazy connection boy] Joe: ✊ Ronnie: [gives him the biggest fuck you look ever like I can't believe you typed that] Joe: [just loling a lil 'scuse him company its not at whatever you said] Ronnie: [comes over, ignoring everyone else obvs, to drink his entire drink and walk off again] Joe: [omg stop flirting you two, everyone like what is going on tbh] Ronnie: [dancing with charlie cos he don't take kindly to being punched but you don't wanna answer his questions either] Joe: [save it for later you nosy hoe] Ronnie: [when you see his poor flatmate going to pee and follow her intimidatingly soz bitch] Joe: [this poor girl is in no way prepared lmao] Ronnie: [thinking she's about to get mugged or murdered] Joe: [when you're 18 and its your first time away from home no doubt this poor girl honestly] Ronnie: you deffo she aint catholic Ronnie: could see her in a penguin house Joe: weren't a question on the flatmate icebreakers Joe: shoulda asked for some segregrated accomodation but thought londoners were meant to be post-religion post-everything so Ronnie: 💔 it aint god its you baby Ronnie: shes no londoner Joe: no, I do know that one Joe: she's from Kent, I think Joe: or Surrey? Ronnie: not holy holier than tho Ronnie: u Ronnie: never gonna please a horse girl mckenna Joe: 😏 Joe: I'll not go there then Ronnie: charlies fucking easy to please Ronnie: youve done the 1 drink minimum & youll avoid the pregnancy scare Joe: I think he's the one that does the pleasing Joe: so I've been assured Ronnie: gets him off dont worry like Joe: I'll sleep easy now, tah Ronnie: lullabies are shit but yeah Joe: 🤞 that ain't his encore either Ronnie: if it aint opening an artery to spray the crowd count me the fuck out Joe: I wouldn't hold your breath Joe: though might be more fun Ronnie: [dramatically holds her breath in his direction like kids do] Joe: [just watching 'cos weird and into it] Ronnie: [lowkey going purple probably because you know she won't stop til she hits the deck] Joe: [just watching 'til the last sec when you obvs gonna catch her] Ronnie: [giving him a look when he does like we have to stop meeting like this but then exposing his tattoo wherever that is cos gotta check that really happened] Joe: [I hope you didn't opt for your booty, lol, probably inner bicep moment or something 'cos not that bitch getting those out at any chance] Ronnie: [just touching it like you're not shamelessly flirting with your brother okay then] Joe: [just looking at her face hardcore 'cos you can pretend you're checking her tat too] Ronnie: [when you come back to yourself and remember you're supposed to hate him for being your brother so you push him away unnecessarily hard and retreat to your corner] Joe: [go off to the bathroom yourself boy] Ronnie: [french exit while he's gone even though it'll make Charlie more annoying] Joe: [have fun Joseph] Joe: you missed the bloodbath Ronnie: made my own Joe: safer bet Joe: on all counts Ronnie: safer for your girlfriend Ronnie: & you Joe: you know she ain't my girlfriend Ronnie: no shit you dont wanna claim that conquest Joe: wrong again Joe: not gonna bang my flatmate who pays the bigger part of the rent 'cos she gets the en-suite Joe: give me some credit Ronnie: shed give you some if you gave it up to her Ronnie: but if youd rather pay rent Joe: there's no way I can keep that going 4 years Ronnie: she aint hacking it Ronnie: you can fucking smell the homesickness Joe: its like, down the road init Joe: ugh Ronnie: & Ronnie: she cant fit her horse in the en suite baby Joe: 😂 Joe: true..I'll make some rich friends to move in when she gallops off into the sunset then Ronnie: theyll not slum it with you for 4 years Joe: but I'm so charming Joe: what's the solution then, sis? Ronnie: sell yourself or kill yourself Joe: 👌 Joe: already with ya Ronnie: yeah dead connected us Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you're the only one that's allowed to be suicidal? Ronnie: oldest cunt gets dibs Ronnie: aint that how this sibling shit plays Ronnie: whatever you wanna do ive already done it Joe: half the time Joe: but the other half is youngest gets away with it 'cos they're cuter so Ronnie: cause theyre a crybaby Ronnie: yeah you can have that soft lad Joe: 😥 bit of a prerequisite for the suicide Joe: so generous Ronnie: i left you alive so you can do yourself in Ronnie: since youve got such a boner for it Ronnie: generosity begins & ends Joe: You can stop thinking about my boners then Joe: that'll be my attempt at the virtue Ronnie: put em away Joe: you tryna expose me Ronnie: you dont need my help Ronnie: flashers keep more hidden than you Joe: really Joe: don't seem like that's something that would bother you Ronnie: youre that special mckenna Ronnie: every fucking thing you do bothers me Joe: 💘 Joe: check facebook some more, I'll keep my events up to date Joe: can avoid each other easy Ronnie: nah you see me you walk the other way Joe: I got places to be babe Ronnie: yeah a&e Ronnie: if you dont get the fuck outta my face Joe: see, you're well about it Joe: I got it, yeah, we're not family Ronnie: were nothing Ronnie: & if thats what gets you off pay for it like the other cunts do Ronnie: not my 9-5 Joe: I found Soho by myself, don't worry Joe: we're good Ronnie: boss Ronnie: stay there Joe: more expensive than Sophie's horse that Ronnie: train her up to be whatever the fuck you want then Ronnie: 4 years in she could probably kiss with tongue like Joe: you gotta ask yourself why you care Joe: 'cos I know Ronnie: i dont have to ask myself fuck all Joe: deny it then Joe: works for me Ronnie: theres no need to deny theres cunts i wanna talk to less than you Ronnie: or i that i gotta have something to do while i wait Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're all talk Joe: say no more Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah fuck me Ronnie: stick your therapy speak in whatever hole you reckon can take it Ronnie: ill reverse over your head before i submit to this psychology bullshit Joe: not what I'm studying Joe: or doing Ronnie: you reckon if you say im all talk itll get you some action Ronnie: dream on motherfucker Ronnie: i dont look like her that much Joe: bold assumption Ronnie: nah Ronnie: charlies more like a brother than you & ive done everything there is to do to that tosser Joe: bold to assume I'm half as fucked up as you Joe: spent long enough telling me I can't be 'cos I got a ma and now I wanna fuck her, okay Ronnie: wearing it on your sleeve aint you though baby Ronnie: saw your arm & yeah i reckon halfs about right Ronnie: but me at 19 wouldve left you in more pieces than that Joe: you must be proud Ronnie: what the fuck of Joe: your 19 year old self Ronnie: youd have liked me better at 9 Joe: alright but a nonce joke is hardly original Ronnie: neithers wanting to fuck your ma Ronnie: read a book schoolboy Joe: that's you throwing that about Joe: not one I ask the prozzies to act out tah Ronnie: what the fuck else was your lil challenge about then Joe: what was yours? Ronnie: i didnt fire any shots shithead Joe: not true Joe: i got the 🍒 to prove it Ronnie: fuck me youre that cunt Ronnie: 1 sos & i owe you my life yeah Joe: where'd you hear that Joe: what was it, needle not clean or something Ronnie: you dont need to wait for a death that slow Ronnie: fucking do it Joe: why do you do it Ronnie: why do you give a shit what i do Joe: interesting Joe: why do you fuck with your face like that Ronnie: too late to keep it pretty for you Ronnie: should have nancy drewed this shit earlier Joe: you ain't gonna answer Joe: alright Ronnie: cant we both like pain Ronnie: is that your problem Joe: 'course Joe: no monopoly on that shit Joe: its universal, so the books say Ronnie: bullshit do you read fuck all else but sheet music Joe: not no more Joe: but i can read more than scales, like Joe: have to write essays and shit sometimes Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: save this riveting shit for your flatmates Joe: she does art Joe: dunno what the lad does, he's out his room less than me Ronnie: horse cocks out of clay like Ronnie: bet shes the professors pet Joe: 🤞 she gets in an ill-advised affair with a pervy prof Ronnie: every other repressed white bitch has done it Joe: my home is safe Joe: hooray Ronnie: til i sleuth your address Joe: then its petrol bombs and dog shit, I know Ronnie: after theres fuck all left to steal Ronnie: 🤡s in films 🔥💸 Joe: and eat six year old's arms Joe: crack on Ronnie: i aint bitten any kids since i was Joe: I'm proud even if you ain't then Ronnie: raise the bar baby Joe: guess the other lad you were with don't technically count no more Joe: actual kids are that annoying Ronnie: kids get to be annoying Joe: lucky ones Joe: the ones that get to be kids Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: youll be born & die a saint Ronnie: such a fucking martyr Joe: when God comes a calling, you can't refuse, obvs Joe: guess that's what she gets for not aborting you, nice bonus for being good Ronnie: yeah Joe: likes a joke as much as the next Joe: gutted for her Ronnie: cant take the scouse sinner out of her however much irish catholic dick shes taken since Ronnie: 💔 Joe: if its only paddys in heaven, I'll lose the invite Ronnie: you better stay in purgatory then Ronnie: dont want you in hell with me Joe: you're just jealous I'll be too busy getting tortured by some other demon Joe: you're alright, anguishing over my wrongs for eternity sounds like a bit of me Joe: I can hack it, more painful than being sodomized with pitchforks or whatever weak shit you're in store for Ronnie: wanna see your cum face even less Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: 😂 Joe: shh, you already know he's got that sick sense of humour Joe: your own clockwork orange moment for eternity now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you ain't nothing like I thought when I was 🔎🤔 Ronnie: cheers for the romantic cliche you pussy Joe: you're that special Joe: and welcome Ronnie: what did you reckon id be like Joe: like the rest of 'em Joe: complete the cliche Ronnie: fuck off Joe: what, I did Joe: there ain't a bigger compliment, honestly Ronnie: i dont wanna hear your compliments Ronnie: or how big they are Joe: 😏 Joe: you asked Ronnie: cause i cant resist hearing how fucking soft you are Joe: that makes you pretty fucking soft yourself then don't it Ronnie: fuck you Joe: back here, yeah Ronnie: back at get someone else to knock you out Joe: shouldn't be hard Ronnie: depends how hard you are Ronnie: could be a turn on or off Joe: either way, its incentive for them to go harder Joe: can't lose, me Ronnie: enjoy yourself baby Joe: never Joe: if I lose my overwhelming urge to die what have I got Ronnie: new overwhelming urges Joe: won't be that good Ronnie: write it in your diary i didnt ask for your review Joe: you can do that you know Joe: they've all got profiles, like they're a shit local pub or something Ronnie: what a fucking state Joe: won't miss it when I'm in pugatory Ronnie: if i had a shot for every time you cried your eyes out id miss that Joe: you'd miss having a liver Joe: and functioning braincell Ronnie: didnt mean that kind of shot shithead Joe: your aim is for shit, true Ronnie: or that one Joe: ahh Ronnie: you had me at dirty needles 💘 Joe: s'worth being alive for, then? Ronnie: what the fuck waste of a question is that Joe: why? Ronnie: what do you think Joe: reason I'm asking Joe: if its just another slow way to kill yourself then I'm sound but if its more than that then its a potential for the repertoire Ronnie: if it was id have taken a faster way out Joe: its noted Ronnie: why do you wanna die Joe: its not even Joe: I ain't actually sad, soz to burst your 😥 bubble, IOU some shots, whatever Joe: just wanna turn my head off, not have to participate Joe: deal with any of it Joe: but saying you wanna be put in a coma doesn't quite have the same punch Ronnie: underline that note then Joe: yeah? Joe: not like I've never thought about it Joe: think about it a lot, hence the need for a fucking switch Joe: how cliche to look like I'm doing it to spite her though, eh? Ronnie: whatever you take now thats strawberry flavoured childhood bullshit Ronnie: youve found your prescribed dose of working adult medicine Joe: it don't touch it, not worth taking unless you wanna down half a blister at a time and have a decent kip Joe: get me some and I'll pay you 20% for your trouble Ronnie: come over Ronnie: told you im waiting Joe: alright Joe: if I ask for your current location do I give away that I'm not a decent stalker Ronnie: youve fucking shown that card bitch Joe: figured Joe: be obliging then Ronnie: [a location of who the fuck knows where cos we don't need Charlie or Bronson there for this excuse you lads] Joe: [when you need some privacy for your bonding] Ronnie: [when you need some privacy to shoot up your half brother who you ain't even told your other fam about] Joe: [fun and games] Joe: cool Joe: 🤞 i'm there just after the heroin Ronnie: get here before or ill be in no state to keep obliging you Joe: I'm yet to be initiated, my timekeeping skills are 🔥 Ronnie: give a shit about your cv Joe: I'll be there Ronnie: your loss if you aint Ronnie: dont come crying to me Ronnie: i wont hear it for fucking ages Joe: i'm not an idiot Ronnie: it dont matter who or what you are Ronnie: stopped listening after the ill be there Joe: 💘 Ronnie: get it tattooed next yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: over the real fucker Ronnie: cause you love a cliche Joe: 'course Joe: have to find another dickhead with a gun though Joe: that one did not know his left from his right Ronnie: get what you pay for baby Ronnie: & we didnt Joe: touche Joe: I'll forgo accuracy for that Joe: and the dirty needle, obvs Ronnie: getting to put his hand on my tit will blow the brains he has like Joe: 😏 Ronnie: but if i toss him off thatll get shit back on track Joe: hot Joe: love that you have a plan Ronnie: cute Ronnie: you reckoning im pure chaos Ronnie: not your manic pixie dream skank Joe: ain't planning on being a composer Joe: least not now Joe: don't need to write about you Ronnie: 💔 Joe: make up your mind Ronnie: you aint on my mind mckenna Ronnie: dont get your balls in a twist Joe: do you wanna be on mine or not Ronnie: i know whats on yours Joe: same Joe: makes a change Ronnie: compose a song about your confusion then like Joe: less cliche than a love song Joe: still Ronnie: do it from the pov of the horse Ronnie: be a hit with your flatmate Joe: you just wanna get me stalked Joe: paybacks a bitch, yeah Ronnie: wanna get your habit paid for before you start it Ronnie: throw her a boner Ronnie: whats the fucking drama Joe: i don't fancy her Joe: nor having the convo about where all her moneys going Ronnie: & Ronnie: i dont fancy the cunt with the tattoo gun Ronnie: got fuck all to do with it Joe: & Joe: you're lowering standards, not getting anything up Ronnie: close your eyes & think of gear Ronnie: youll do anything for a horse like that Joe: let me try it first Ronnie: dont need to hear about your trust issues baby Joe: better stop talking now then Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: [you know when its like 'removed message' that] Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what Ronnie: i cant cut your sense of humour out Ronnie: cant live with it Joe: no funny business Joe: just a buttdial Ronnie: charlie aint here but adorable that you 2 homos hit it off Joe: just scousers gotta stick together or did you know him from back home Ronnie: he didnt give you the rundown Ronnie: mustve made him speechless mckenna Joe: too busy trying to work out how I knew you Ronnie: we grew up together Ronnie: & the mime standing next to us Joe: cool Ronnie: nah Ronnie: fucked Joe: I mean that you still know 'em, talk to 'em Ronnie: we aint trying to throw our family away for a new one Joe: like I said, s'cool Ronnie: like i said hes gonna eat that shit up Ronnie: you fawning over his family set up Joe: good to know Joe: not really my type either, call me fussy Ronnie: fucks sake Ronnie: join the god squad now & save yourself the 12 steps Joe: 'cos I don't wanna do a bloke or my horse girl roommate Ronnie: cause you only wanna do your ma Joe: you can't just give me dud options and come to that conclusion Ronnie: we playing fuck marry kill now Joe: not playing nothing with you Joe: cheater Ronnie: crybaby Joe: you'll 😥 when I have to kill your mate Ronnie: you wish Joe: making people cry is your thing Joe: I don't need to fight that claim Ronnie: like you aint been wanting to save me again since the 1st time Ronnie: thats your thing yeah Joe: save you from what? Joe: smack? obviously not Joe: other self-destructive tendencies? try again Ronnie: it obviously dont matter Ronnie: id never seen you & id still never seen a cunt more excited to do a rescue Joe: and I'd never seen you Joe: maybe you'd got all kinds of fucked up 'cos of all the shit I dragged up Joe: basic decency ain't nothing to get excited about Ronnie: i know how to self soothe im a big girl now Joe: didn't need you self-soothing yourself to death on my conscience Ronnie: didnt ask you to give a shit Ronnie: catholic guilts best left at home baby Ronnie: youll never find a place with the cockneys Joe: about myself? Joe: its barely but hanging on by a thread Joe: soz Joe: dead girls fuck you up Ronnie: not your type either then Joe: ultimate type Joe: don't wanna commit right now, tah Ronnie: 🤞 i od & you can finally sort your misery boner out Joe: too giving you Ronnie: im dead i aint giving a shit Joe: put that on the headstone Ronnie: pay for it you write whatever cliche you want Joe: you want a classy picture affair Joe: got it Ronnie: stop getting me Ronnie: it makes me wanna blow my brains out Joe: its obvious you wanna be seen Joe: no spooky sibling connection required Ronnie: fuck off Joe: what's better than ruining a graveyards ambiance for the mourners for the forseeable Ronnie: theres no room in the ground soft lad Joe: they just chuck you in with the old bones Joe: or 'move' them Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: plague pit is the way to go Ronnie: fit the horse & the girl Ronnie: how fucking romantic Joe: that's me Ronnie: ill put john in the 💘 for you baby Ronnie: your ma robbed you blind of so many lennon comparisons Joe: still time to be pretentious with soph Joe: fuck off getting out of bed for good Ronnie: smother her with a pillow & fuck her corpse youll be feeling peace & love Joe: 💎🍓💘 Ronnie: playing with emojis & yourself aint getting you here Ronnie: hurry up Joe: can't make you any closer Ronnie: 💔

[lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean]

La Pomme ~ Chapter 12

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 5,500

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

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George was lounging in the warm bath water, trying to use breathing exercises to clear her mind and calm herself. It had been a long day, capping off a long almost-month inside the Supernatural Universe. There were so many questions she couldn't answer and she wished she could turn her brain off; focus on anything else.

"George?" She heard Dean's muffled call from the other side of the bathroom door. "You OK in there?"

"Yea," She answered quietly. "Just humiliated," She added with an eye roll.

"Don't sweat it," Came his unusually sympathetic reply. "We've all been there, or somewhere similar… or somewhere worse," He added off handedly, taking another bite of pie. It occurred to him suddenly that the two of them were alone and Dean had a thought. After a moment's hesitation, he swallowed his bite of pie and called timidly, "George?"

"Yea?" She responded curiously, her voice raised slightly to compensate for the sound barrier. There was such a long pause with no answer that she wondered if it had just been her imagination. As she was about to call out again, she heard him finally.

"Can I ask you something?" Came an inquiry so quiet she almost didn't hear it. He sounded uncharacteristically troubled and… nervous?

"Yea, sure," She answered gently.

"What do you know about Michael?"

"Michael who?" Came her quick, confused reply.

"The archangel? Asshole that's been wearing me as a suit the last few weeks?" She was suddenly reminded of the fact that she was living inside of a TV show and it stunned her into silence. "That Michael? Has he not been on the show or...?" The nervous huff in his reply shook her out of her stupor. She realized this must be a hard topic for him. Unfortunately, though, she didn't have any insight to give.

"Oh fuck, right, Michael," She swallowed and gathered her thoughts before replying with a sigh, "I'm sorry, Dean, I don't really know much. I hadn't started this season yet," She finished apologetically.

"Thanks," Came a sarcastic reply.

She frowned and defended, "Look, I have a life, dude! I get behind, I can't always tune in every Thursday! Trust me, no one is more sorry about that than me right now. Maybe if I had, I could have done something to prevent this insane situation." A heavy sigh dotted the end of her sentence pointedly. Then she had a strange, disconcerting thought:

Would you really have prevented this from happening if you had a choice?

The thought startled her and she guiltily refused to answer herself.

A welcome distraction for her was noticing the silence that followed her answer to Dean; George could tell he was still concerned. Reaching over and grabbing the door handle, she cracked it just enough to spy Dean sitting on the edge of the mattress, holding a take out box. He glanced at her almost imperceptibly and she could tell her eyes weren't exactly welcome, so she turned her head away but left the door open.

"Here's what I've heard/seen on accident," She started, pausing to think and then saying carefully, "He comes back somehow," She heard him bristle but kept going, "And you do something to trap him. Some kind of box… or maybe a walk-in freezer?" She was trying to organize the spoilers she'd seen and identify what was related to Michael and what wasn't. "I know that doesn't make a lot of sense and I'm sorry, but that's all I've got."

Dean sighed and shrugged, "It's alright, George. I'm just… feeling lost. Was hoping for some clues, but it's not on you to save my bacon." George gave a wry smile to the bath water and sat quietly for a moment.

Finally she turned her head to look at him and asked, "You want to know what I do know, Dean?"

Slowly, he turned to look at her with an intrigued eyebrow, "I don't know, do I?"

With an amused eye roll she spoke, "I know this--right now--this story line with alternate Michael? It's two seasons behind where you and your brother end up in my reality. And--at least as far as I remember--this alternate Michael isn't a starring role for very long."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows at her in consideration, "Meaning?"

She shrugged and offered, "Meaning, you figure this out. Like you always do. You will figure this out and you will beat Michael and be onto the next big bad, whomever that is. Which, don't even ask because I really have no idea. Haven't watched those seasons at all yet… I think there's one episode where you meet Scooby Doo?"

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes, telling her matter-of-factly, "We already did that."

"No shit?! That already happened?" When he nodded in confirmation George 'ughed' loudly, rolling her eyes, "Damnit, that must have been one of the ones I just watched. What was it like?! Was Shaggy really high? Was Daphne really hot? Was Scooby just adorable?!"

Dean chuckled and answered, "Uh, yes, hell yes, and duh! It's Scooby Doo! Of course he's adorable!"

"Was it weird to be animated?"

He shrugged a little, "Eh, kin-"

She cut him off with a gasp, "Wait! Was all of you animated, like.. did you have all your-"

He shook his head and proclaimed, "That's none of your business!"

"Sorry!" George apologized defensively, then begged, "Tell me you and Daphne-"

"George!" Dean admonished with feigned offense, "I don't kiss and tell."

She scoffed and guessed, "Struck out, huh?"

Dean frowned and simply said, "Her and Fred are an item. I didn't want to break that up," to which George laughed in disbelief.

"Yea, I got it. I think things are starting to come back to me now," George teased him and he shrugged in defeat, unable to deny the fact that he definitely struck out with Daphne. When her laughter died away, she looked at him again and said, "I'm sorry I can't be more of a help. I know, I know, it's not my job to save you but that doesn't mean I enjoy not being able to." They were quiet again for a minute and she sighed, "If I could just call Ryan."

"Who's he?"

"She is my Winchester Wiki," She explained very matter of factly and Dean stared at her with an annoyed expression. With a smile she continued, "She's my friend and she's also a fan of the show; Got me back into it later in life and, well lets just say, she pays closer attention than I do. She'd be able to help you with this whole Michael problem without breaking a sweat. Oh and she's gorgeous," George tossed on and Dean raised a curious eyebrow. She caught his curious expression and asked, "You don't happen to have a phone with trans-universal long distance coverage by chance?"

Dean snorted and shook his head in bemused defeat, "Not on me." He was frustrated that she didn't have more insight on Michael, though somewhat comforted by the fact that-at least in her reality-he wasn't dead yet. That was something, he guessed.

"So," George smirked at him, glee in her eyes, "American's Next Top Model, hmm?"

"What, are you surprised? A house full of attractive models?" Dean gave her an obvious expression.

She shark-mouthed understandably and nodded, "Fair point. Allison cycle 12? Ooof. Hello!"

Dean considered her assessment for a moment, then nodded agreeably but offered, "Mercedes, cycle 2."

George had to remember who that was for a minute but then nodded emphatically, "Yes! Gorgeous and she was good. She ended up top three, right?"

They compared notes for a few minutes, until he finished the last bite of pie in the container he was holding. Then he whipped out his phone and muttered in her direction, "Finish your bath. I'm gonna text Sam for more towels."

When Sam got the text he snagged a pile from a housekeeping cart on their way back to George's room. They had also stopped by the car and brought up a few bags, per his request. Dean carefully handed George the towels through the bathroom door, so as to not accidentally see any bits, and then turned to Sam for a room update.

"Bad news: no adjoining rooms. The best I could do was five doors down. Even more bad news: only one queen bed." Sam held up the room key with a feigned wince. "But listen, I don't think we should leave George alone, so I'll just crash on the floor in here and you can take the room."

"Wow, what a sacrifice," Dean chuckled knowingly at his brother and snatched the key from him. "Shouldn't we have Cas handle it, though?"

"No, why?" Sam protested a little too fast.

"Because he doesn't need sleep. He can keep an eye on the little deserter. Make sure she doesn't do it again?"

Sam frowned, "She's not going to. And if she does, I think I can handle it. How is she supposed to get any sleep with Cas staring at her all night?"

"I don't stare at people when they sleep," Cas interrupted. With a huff he clarified, "I stare at the wall."

Dean looked at the offended angel and shrugged, "It's not that bad. He's quiet. Honestly, it's kind of comforting when you think about it." There was an awkward pause and Dean added, "Sometimes he'll sing for you if you ask nice-"

"Dean," Castiel admonished him for sharing something so intimate. Cas only did that for him.

Sam looked between the two of their sheepish faces and then assured sarcastically, "Yea, a singing angel staring at the wall in the dark. Totally not creepy."

George came out of the bathroom wrapped in the clean towels from Dean. She was now looking a little sheepish as well, "Hey, sorry about earlier. All of it. I jus-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Dean held up a hand to her. "Save it for the morning. You can spill your guts over breakfast. We couldn't get adjoining rooms, so Cas and I will be just down the hall; Sam will stay with you tonight. On the floor," He said pointedly with a 'behave' look toward Sam, who rolled his eyes in irritation. George nodded, barely listening, and let out a tired sigh.

Then she had a startling thought and groaned, "Shit. I'm going to have to put those crusty clothes back on."

Dean grinned proudly, "You're not the only one with surprise gifts." He took the bags that Sam and Cas had retrieved from the car and set them down on the wooden table.

"What's this?" She asked, grabbing one of the handles and peeking into the bag where she spotted the Friends logo hoodie she'd picked out at Target. "My clothes? My deodorant?! Oh Dean! Thank you so much! I would kiss you but you have pie like… all over your face, but thank you!" As she dug into the bags to search for the PJs, Dean looked questioningly at Sam and Cas who nodded in confirmation.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean grumbled, moving over to the sink to wipe his face. Sam shrugged in feigned innocence, laughing internally at his idiot brother.

"How did you get all the clothes I picked?" She asked, impressed.

"We got lucky; Sam happened to hear one of the employees complaining about a nutty woman who'd run from the store like a bat outta hell and abandoned all her stuff," Dean gave her a pointed stare.

She looked first at Sam, and then Cas and Dean, with immense gratitude, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her spirits had been lifted a little. The fresh underwear alone was going to make her feel a thousand times better.

"They mentioned they'd already put back one or two items when we asked about it, so hopefully we got the right replacements." Sam warned her.

"I don't care! I can apply deodorant and brush my teeth; I'm sure I can put together at least one clean outfit with what's here! So I'm hap-" She suddenly stopped and froze, having discovered a strange item in one of the bags. "Wha?" In one swift motion she pulled out a pale pink lace bodysuit and held it up for them to see. With an annoyed, yet curious expression she looked at Dean and asked, "Someone care to explain this?"

Dean held his hands up in innocence and Sam inspected the garment in confusion.

"It looked nice on the mannequin and the Target associate who helped me pick it out said it was bold, yet feminine. Perfect for the new woman in my life," Castiel happily explained, sounding as though he was reciting someone else's words.

George blushed a bit, looking at Sam and Dean like 'is he for real?', unsure how to respond. Both men shrugged unhelpfully, avoiding eye contact with the item she was still holding, and remained quiet. Cas seemed so proud, she didn't want to ruin it.

Finally, she stuttered out, "Wow. OK, well… thanks. Very thoughtful of you, Castiel…"

"If you wanted to provide me with your exact measurements, the sales associate offered to help me pick out a 'matching bra and panty se'-"

"OK, why don't we quit while we're ahead, eh Buddy?" Dean grabbed up four of the remaining takeout boxes and motioned for Cas to do the same. He then reached for the pink, lacey material in George's hand, jokingly trying to take it from her.

She swatted him with it and held it out of his reach, "Hey! You're the old woman in his life."

He couldn't help but laugh in response, though he shook his head in annoyance, and then headed out the door with the angel in tow, "See you crazy kids in the morning!"

When they left George looked at Sam curiously, "Is it wrong that I kind of want to give Cas 'my measurements' and then watch him try to pick out lingerie?"

Sam smirked in amusement but nodded, "Yes."

"Oh, you're no fun," George chuckled and tossed the teddy back into the bag.

"Perhaps the wrong audience?" He suggested with a chuckle.

"Yea, that's fair," She agreed. While she rifled through the bags and grabbed out some black PJ pants, a light blue, short sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of underwear, Sam watched her quietly. To say he was relieved to find her safe and unharmed was an understatement. He'd also been thrilled by her admission that she liked it here, but, like Cas, he was curious what it meant. And what it could mean for him.

Does she like it enough to stay maybe? He cursed at himself for even thinking it.

"Uh, George?" He finally pushed through the nerves and forced himself to speak.

"Hmm?" She responded curiously, not looking up from her bags just yet.

He tried to adopt a nonchalant, yet comforting tone and asked, "When you were saying earlier that you felt… comfortable here? Like you belong? What did you mean?"

Pausing her rummaging, she glanced over at him, caught off guard by the question. Truthfully, she didn't know if she could answer it. She was quiet for a long time, trying to decide how deep she wanted to get into this.

Finally, she turned to him and said, "Back home I… I've always had this strange, out of place feeling. Major dysphoria my whole life and kinda irritatingly painful too, like... full body restless leg syndrome. I've always imagined it similar to how a trans individual might experience feeling like they were born in the wrong body, ya know?" Sam made a noise of confirmation and she continued, "Except, my body is fine--well, it's not the cause of this problem anyway," they chuckled together.

"It's more… my whole being was wrong somehow, like I didn't belong. Anywhere. I had trouble connecting with people and making friends; even my own family seemed so different from me. I felt like I was on a different wavelength than other people, and not in a snooty, I'm-better-than-anybody way but like a sad, I-have-hardly-any-friends-because-I-can't-relate way, so it sucked. Hard. My family wasn't much help; though they tried to help by testing me for every 'disorder' you could think of. Nada. I was just… inexplicably different and no one could explain why. I could barely explain what I was feeling. They--my parents--were surprisingly relieved when I came out after college. For them, my 'struggle with the fact that I liked boys and girls throughout my childhood' explained everything away so perfectly, that they wrote it off right then and there. But it never had to do with that; my sexuality was nothing I ever struggled with, I just didn't feel like I needed to tell them. And since I'm still queer in this reality..." She trailed off her point, allowing him to fill in the blanks, with a chuckle.

Sam nodded with a sympathetic smile, clearly reading on her face how painful her experience had been. Gently he asked, "And now, being here, i-in this reality, you feel...?"

Her head tilted to the side and, looking at him wide-eyed, she sighed deeply, "Now? God, now, I feel… normal? Or, at least what I can only assume normal people feel like." Suddenly her voice was heavy with deep emotional relief, "I don't know how to explain it… and I don't know why, maybe I don't even care why, but I feel so good for the first time in forever. Emotionally, spiritually, physically... The constant restless buzzing is mercifully just gone. Sometimes I think I feel it again--that terrible, agonizing discomfort--and my heart skips a beat. But then my brain registers that it really is gone and I still feel good! And that feeling is almost better than the best sex I've ever had."

Sam shark-mouthed in surprised appreciation and teased kindly, "So, I guess you did know how to explain it?"

George let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding with a chuckle and nodded, "Yea, I guess so. Honestly, I'm a little scared to go back," A few tears that had welled up as she was proselytizing spilled down her cheeks uncontrollably and she reached up to wipe them away, blushing lightly.

As George contemplated her admission in the silence, the guilt she felt over leaving them earlier was back. Why the hell did she leave if she'd felt so damn good here? She also felt like a stupid, impulsive child running away from the only people who seemed to care about her, at least insofar as they didn't want her to die. She felt especially guilty that Sam had stuck his neck out for her with Dean and she'd basically stomped on it.

Sam stood awkwardly, watching her with an empathetic grimace. He nearly leapt over to comfort her but… Christ, was this situation complicated. Maybe if things were different, maybe if she wasn't safer in her old reality, maybe if they hadn't handcuffed her to a chair and interrogated her, maybe if she hadn't spent the last few hours crying through an existential crisis, maybe if he wasn't terrified she would push him away in disgust? Maybe if she wasn't practically naked right now... maybe then he wouldn't feel so torn about walking over and wrapping her up into a bear hug.

After a moment of nervously wringing her fingers, George met his eyes and took a deep breath, apologizing, "I'm sorry I ran, Sam. I don't even really know why I-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain anything to me," Sam shook his head definitively, taking a few small steps toward her, now within arms reach. "I understand what you're going through-sort of, and you know, in reverse but still-I get it. Don't worry about it," He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it, "I'm just happy I found you."

At his touch, her heart skipped a beat and she felt her whole body flush, goosebumps forming on her skin. The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes nearly made her physically swoon. Was that an admission of something or just a subtextless statement of forgiveness? Staring into his eyes made her feel like she was on the downswing of the world's tallest roller coaster. She had to force herself to break eye contact before she could breathe again. He squeezed her hand once more before slowly letting go and as he did she had a realization.

"Thank you." Mustering up a smile through her butterflies, she clumsily grabbed the clothing she needed. "Anyway, I'm suddenly very, very aware of the fact that I'm naked-oh and have been since the three of you got here," She realized, blushing again. Jesus, I took a bath with Dean Winchester in the next room. Her legs felt like jelly as she tried to remain cool, calm, collect, walking toward the bathroom, "Uh, so, I should probably go put some clothes on, now."

Sam nodded understandingly and said with an earnest expression, "Hopefully not on my account." When George froze mid step and jerked her head towards him, burning red from head to toe, he faltered, "Er-uh-I just meant, you don't need to feel uncomfortable naaak-err-without-I mean you aren't making me uncomfortable while-without… clothes." George was relaxed by his shy, adorable stuttering, although at this point 'shy' surprised her. He'd been just as bold back at the bunker, more than once. He sighed and gave her a meek smile, "Uh, somehow this sounded less creepy in my head."

With a chuckle she put him out of his misery, "Relax, Ravenclaw, I understand. It's not on your account, it's on mine," She assured him, to which he nodded thankfully, a relieved expression on his face. She turned back to the door of the bathroom, pushing it open and stepping in.

When she exited the bathroom again, now fully clothed, the only light in the room was now the small, soft light above the bed. At first, the room seemed empty and George wondered if she'd scared Sam away with all her emotions. She was about to call out for him when she finally noticed a pair of big old feet sticking out from along the side of the bed near the window.

"Sam? What are you doing?" She walked over and found him lying on the ground on top of one solitary blanket.

"Just relaxing." He shrugged boyishly.

"On the floor?"

He clarified, "On my bed."

"Sorry, this tissue paper is supposed to be your bed?" She asked for clarification.

"Standard issue motel comforter. And, yea, it's perfect," He reached down on his side and pulled the right side of the blanket over himself. "See, you just fold the top over and it becomes a mattress and a blanket in one!" He seemed genuinely pleased about his makeshift accommodations, as though he was sharing a trade secret with her.

"Wow," she tried to sound impressed, "clever." She hopped onto the bed above him complimenting a bit sarcastically, "Quite the boy scout, aren't you?"

His head jerked up to look at her. There it was again. Another line direct from his dream falling familiarly from her lips. Hearing the pet name conjured images in his mind of the dream woman saying it. It felt identical.

But, how? That dream wasn't real. It was just Gabriel. George is a different woman, it's just a coin-

"Hey, can I ask you something?" George cut into his internal panicking with a soft voice suddenly.

"Yep?" He tried to seem nonchalant.

"Well… OK, I'm just going to say this because fuck it, I have nothing to lose at this point," She wasn't looking at him but sensed his nervous curiosity right away. Ignoring her own butterflies, she said, "Seems to me that the Sam I met at the bunker would have committed to that earlier 'unintended' innuendo." She raised a sideways brow at him, checking out of the corner of her eye to make sure he understood what she was referencing. When she could tell he did, she finally turned her head to meet his eyes and with a shy smile asked, "So, what gives?"

Sam considered her question for a minute; he wasn't sure where to start. Finally he folded his hands in his lap and shrugged sadly, "Actually, uh-about that, I feel like I owe you an apology."

Oooh, that doesn't sound good, George tried to hide her grimace. Her stomach started twisting in painful knots. What's that you were saying about nothing to lose?

"Por que?" She was trying to stave off a cold sweat.

"For… Well, I guess, how about handcuffing you to a chair and interrogating you for starters? For allowing you to be sexually assaulted by a demon? For letting you risk your life to come with us on this hunt? For hitting on you when you were obviously going through a difficult time? Take your pick."

She let out a breath of surprised relief and smiled curiously, "Oh… well in that case, let me just say: one, your brother was the one who handcuffed me to the chair--and it was understandable. Two, it's not your responsibility to protect me from the likes of Tim. He wasn't the first creep and he won't be the last." He seemed thoroughly unsatisfied by that response, so she tried to lighten it up by continuing, "And three, you didn't let me come on the hunt. Clearly I strong armed you." A tiny snort of amusement emitted from him and she smirked, then added curiously, "And, lastly, just to be clear… you were hitting on me?"

He huffed in humiliation, running his hand over his face, unable to look at her, "God, I feel like a real jackass." A blackhole was growing in the pit of his stomach. "Your world was literally turned upside down and you needed help not--not some weird, bunker dwelling asshole making advances."

"Uh, Sam," At first George laughed; the absurdity of the hottest man on television apologizing for hitting on her struck her funny bone. However, when it registered just how sober the tone of his voice was, the reality of the situation hit her again like a ton of bricks. She realized that part of her was still anticipating Jared to break at some point and reveal all of this had been an elaborate set up. It hadn't occurred to her yet that, for Sam, this was all real. His sincerity touched her.

She swallowed down the rest of her laughter, along with her typical smartass response, and smiled kindly, "Thank you for the apology and I appreciate the thought, I really do, but it's not necessary. You had no idea, considering I lied to you--which I'm also sorry about if I haven't already said that." That last part came out quickly upon realizing she might not have apologized yet. He gave her a kind smile and waved her off gently, so she continued, "So, please don't feel guilty. And I'll let you know if your advances are ever unwanted. Promise."

The deja vu hit him again so hard it knocked the wind out of him. His eyes snapped up to meet hers from his spot on the floor. A blush creeped across her cheeks as he stared curiously. She was back on the roller coaster, butterflies tumbling in her gut, but forced herself to keep eye contact, allowing him to conduct his search. She wasn't sure what he was so determinedly looking for but she hoped he was finding it.

A mix of emotions wrestled within him at the moment. Though he knew logically it made no sense, he was having a harder and harder time denying that he knew this woman, intimately--in every sense of the word. But, how?! And, holy shit, was she saying what he hoped she was saying? He could feel his hopes skyrocketing while he struggled to hold them down in self-preservation.

A huge yawn broke out on her face, ruining the moment and snapping Sam out of his stupor.

"Whoa, Jesus," She laughed a bit, surprised by the force of the yawn.

"Time for bed?" Sam tried to mask his disappointment at the disruption. She nodded agreeably.

"Listen, could you at least take a pillow, please? One pillow? For me?" Pulling the sheets back, so she could climb in, she yanked a pillow out and tossed it over the edge of the bed. She heard it land with an audible POOMPF right on his face. "Oops," she said with a snicker, reaching over to turn off the lamp on the table while he adjusted the pillow behind his head.

Sliding up under the covers, she settled down on her back. The deafening silence in the room allowed her mind to wander freely while she stared up at the ceiling. After a moment she rolled onto her side and peeked over the edge of the bed, surprised to find Sam's beautiful hazel eyes staring intensely back at her in the dark.

She whispered, "Sam?"

"Yeah?" Came a soft, low rumble, as he continued to stare back.

"How did you find me?" She wondered.

"Uh…" He turned away from her quickly and shifted nervously. He felt compelled to be honest with her; luckily the shroud of darkness made him bolder than he would have been in the harsh light of day. "We tracked you through the cab company mostly. Lost your trail at the diner and then… I'm not really sure. We were driving around and when I saw the sign for the motel I… uh, just had a strong feeling that you were here?"

"...uh huh." His answer surprised her. So much so, that she had to break eye contact and lay back down. She stared at the ceiling in shock.

What did that mean?

Though even as she asked herself the question, she had a feeling that she already knew. It was a feeling that didn't exactly put her at ease; raising more questions than it answered. She mulled it over for a few moments, before deciding she was too tired to pull at that thread.

She finally shrugged a little and said, "Good instincts?"

"Yeah… that must be it," He trailed off, having a nearly identical conversation with himself, and they fell silent again.

"Sam?" She said, choking back a nervous laughter. When she heard him respond with a curious grunt she hesitated. Finally, she blurted in a quiet, definitive whisper, "Samgirl. No question." When she could hear the smile behind another, practically silent--as though he was trying to hide it--grunt of confirmation she smiled wide, adding quickly, "And just so you know, that is the first and last time you will ever hear me utter that silly term of my own volition."

"Understood," He murmured in a teasingly serious tone, making her laugh quietly.

With another big yawn, she forced herself to stop engaging. Before rolling over, she tossed over her shoulder, "And don't tell Dean. He'll be devastated and we have a job to do." The sound of his joyful chuckling was the last thing she heard before sleep overtook her.

#sam winchester x original female character #sam winchester x original character #sam winchester fanfic #sam winchester #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic series #spn fanfiction

[existentialstatesofmind]

Never A Dull Morning

Clare: didn't let boys see her undergarments. Even though she'd starting buying more interesting bras and panties last year, it was for herself not them. Of course Dakota hadn't actually done anything wrong. "It's just private." She explained. "Thank you for understanding." Her cheeks were still pink as she got dressed. Clare wasn't going to explain her weird logic in front of Emi. How she could go without wearing a bra in front of him but wasn't ready for him to see it. Clare was a little shocked after she succesfully beat up Bren. She'd learned how to do that after the whole Fitz threatening her and Eli with a knife incident because it was important to be able to defend herself. Had she gone too far? Bren hadn't actually touched her. Emi was here though and she needed to know it wasn't okay for boys to talk to girls like that even ones who weren't strangers. (Although to Clare, Bren was.) Bren didn't get a free pass. Especially after behaving like that in front of a five year old! He should be ashamed of himself! Besides Clare knew she couldn't hurt Bren badly, she didn't know how to do more than (hopefully) get him to leave her alone from now on. She stepped outside with Kota and slowly breathed in and out trying to calm down. "Is he always like that?" Clare asked. "No problem. I don't want to confuse her. Foreign languages aren't easy for me. I always want to pronounce words exactly how they are written. But in Spanish a J is prounced like an H, in Russian an I is pronounced like an E. So on and so forth. I guess that's why I like French, it's the same alaphabet as English so it's slightly less confusing for me. The difference is the French use diacritics." Clare shrugged. She didn't give up easily and at least she had been right about how to say sushi after all. She felt better by the time they went back inside. Clare smiled at Ash and Emi. "Emi did a good job. He's still down." She knew that wouldn't last much longer so she gladly escaped to the living room with Kota and Emi. Clare sat down on the couch. She bit her lip when Emi asked about purity rings. This was part of the reason why she felt like it was necessary to shut Bren up. Emi didn't need to hear about anything that pretained to sex. Of course she had questions now. Kota was lucky she only asked that one and didn't seem to care that he didn't give her a real answer. Clare winced soon as she heard the name Jenna. Maybe it was a different Jenna? No, soon as Kota got to the part about her trashy short shorts and her purposedly bending over (so everyone could see her buttcrack), Clare knew Dakota was referring to the her former friend. Who stole K.C from her using that exact tactic. He wasn't worth keeping and neither was Jenna's friendship. "I didn't know big mouth already told you all of that before we started hanging out." Clare said softly. "I guess she's still bragging about it. She's been trying to get with every guy since K.C got sick of her. Alli's brother, Sav, turned her down too. She's going to get the baby taken away from her because she won't stay home with him and there's no one else to watch him. I'd feel bad for Jenna but Owen threw my best friend Adam through a glass door for being transgender so...if that's who she wants to be with her baby deserves better." She squeezed Dakota's hand as he confessed to Kelly about his false reputation. Clare knew people might get the wrong idea when they found out she was dating Dakota especially if someone learned about their sleepover(s) but she didn't care. Anyone who mattered wouldn't believe a rumor over the truth. If Jesus Club did to her what they did to her sister, she didn't need to be part of it. However, she hoped they'd changed along with their name. Clare smiled back at him and chuckled because she'd always been able to take care of herself and now she could stand up for herself too. Well, by doing more than slapping boys and making a scene by yelling at them. The other girls at school needed to learn how too instead of relying on Kota to play superman. "I like you just the way you are even if you're reckless. There are some situations you can't get out of alone, she needed a friend." Clare reassurred him after Kelly left. "Just give them the card from now on. Kelly's right. Her dad could've killed you." She shuddered. Clare scooted closer to Dakota when Bren came in. "Do you even realize that was sexual harassment and if you keep doing it, someday a women will press charges against you and you'll go to jail." She said seriously. "You can't grope girls because you like the way we look, just like we can't do it to you. Or each other. Or a guy to another guy." She shook her head. Bren had Genesis all wrong. They were still living with the consequences of Adam and Eve's betrayal. The bible also said that outside of marriage sex was a sin. Even if you didn't believe that, there were other reasons to wait and she didn't plan to do something she'd regret. "Yeah! Let's go after breakfast before it gets too hot. Outside." She frowned. "The only problem is I don't have any exercise clothes here." Clare didn't want to wear her new outfit to the park. She supposed she could make do with what she'd worn over to Kota's in the first place.

Kota: nodded when Clare reassured him after Kelly left and kissed her cheek. "Thank you." he whispered and listened to her chide Bren. He knew that they've been there with him. "Yea, I know. That's why I ask to touch a girl's breasts. They taught me about sexual harassment in school and as long as I don't touch her without permission the most the girl will do is beat the crap out of me. So much easier in Bristol." Bren whined. "Yea, he's got a hard head. He went to Bristol and into a night club where he made a friend. She took a pill, made out with him for about ten minutes, then her boyfriend came and we got a call from the hospital. Bren had to get stitches and had a broken arm. We just sort of gave up after that." he explained to Clare. "The guy had a hard punch, once the girl realized he was beating me up, she called the cops, grabbed him and ran. I'm friends with her on facebook, she asked when I'm going back to Bristol." Bren explained to Clare. "And didn't her boyfriend threaten to kill you if you ever touched her a fourth time since you had to go find her after you go out of the hospital?" Kota asked looking at him. "Yea, but that's just a threat." Bren stated and Kota rolled his eyes. "I wish I could just beat the shit out of you right now, but it'll be futile. I only continued to help because I thought you were done with that girl and could actually change. She's fucking strung out on drugs. That night you were in the hospital she was too, an hour later she tried to kill herself because of the drugs she took. Does that really mean nothing to you, do you not see how much she's calling for help?" Kota asked. "So what she just needs to stop taking whatever drug made her want to die. If she were mine and came to me every night I'd be the happiest man alive regardless if she's strung out or not. They can help the suicide thing." Bren shrugged and Kota got up seeing the headphones still on Emi. "Bren, sex isn't worth your life nor is a girl. Who cares if she got strung out and made out with you, she's fuck-" "I don't care." Bren yelled back and Kota felt a hand on his shoulder to see his mom. "From the first time I held you, I knew you'd be trouble. You acted out more than any of your brothers and never wanted to stay. You were always trying to leave to go wherever, soon that changed and you started going after girls not caring about anyone, but you. I had these papers printed out and money put aside. They're emancipation papers, if you really want this I won't stop you anymore." She said holding his suitcase in hand and he took the papers. "I know you don't care what happens to you, but we do. I think you may need this, to go on your own for a bit and come home to us. Maybe this will help you be a better man." she said as she signed the papers after him and handed him his suitcase and passport. "There's money in there with an address book to friends I've made and keep in touch with in various countries." she said. "And I can be with Iona?" he asked curiously. "This was only an act to be with her?" Kota asked. "Well yea." Bren answered. "If that's what you want." His mom said and Bren took his things and left. "He never unpacked his things. I knew he didn't want to stay." his mom explained and he sat back down. "Maybe this will open his eyes." Kota breathed and laid his head on Clare's shoulder. After she mentioned going to the park after breakfast, he watched as Kelly bought out a plate of pancakes while Dallas carried the plates, Stacy carried sets of silverware wrapped in napkins and Ash and Dom carried sides. Without a word, Kota went to the kitchen and grabbed bottles of juice for everyone, then sat next to Clare and Emi. "Kelly, do you still have those yoga shorts that were too small?" he asked looking at her. "Yea." she answered. "I need them for Clare." He said honestly. "They're in the same place in my room. Also you're on wash duty later after Dallas does the basics. I have Victoria's Secret lingerie that needs to be washed and you're the only one who doesn't shrink them besides Stacy and she has to go home. I also have work." Kelly said and he nodded. "Ok, Stacy do you need your Victoria's Secret lingerie washed?" he asked looking at her. "Yea. Dallas will get them for you when you're ready to do the laundry. Dallas cut some of the tags off mine so that should help a bit. My bras and other items have tags." Stacy explained and he nodded as he ate. "Dom is helping me separate the Victoria's Secret from everything." Dallas stated. "Ash and I will do the dishes then." Stacy stated honestly. "Ok, that leaves Kota and Clare to the floors after dinner." Kelly said. "I wanna help." Emi stated. "We just pick up big items and leave the rest to the roomba." he informed Clare as he continued to eat. After breakfast was done, Kota went and got the shorts for Clare and one of his shirts too. "I'll go change in Dom's bathroom." he smiled at her as he handed her the clothing and kissed her chastely before going to change.

#nadm