#i’ll finish it and hopefully post it by the end of the week tho

[empiireans]

they’re watching the meteor shower

#and then a red shard event happens and plummets into them- #i’m slash jaying #anyways i was gonna post the theater husbands but i realized i won’t have time ti finish it today #i’ll finish it and hopefully post it by the end of the week tho #anyways happy valentine’s and galentine’s and palentine’s day!!! #hopeful steward #sky moth #sky cotl moth #sky children of the light #sky cotl #sky children of the light fanart #sky cotl fanart

[fanartdoodledumpster]

Ok so I was able to do like 3 of the prompts—I’m probably not going to finish the rest until tomorrow so that’s rough.

BUT ANYWAYS

Top Left is Monday prompt (Saints or Ghosts) and I said lmao why not both but make it angsty—specifically ran Where Can I Run (reprise) in my head over and over again too think of this one. I always thought the eye imagery thought the musical was sick so like why not make it the ghosts and saints. It was super fun messing with brushes for the Quincy’s wing tho—Vincent calling Quincy angel lives in my head rent free :’)

Top Right is Thursday prompt (Self-made or socially constructed) and I chose Ambrose bc it was between him and Beatrix and I already had Beatrix for another piece and besides I wanted to draw the golden boy mwahahaha. Anyway, the scene where Vincent describes how Ambrose makes art with perfect precision and how Vincent makes art in a more messy way also lives in my head rent free and I thought it would be cool if I didn’t make something super concise with my lineart, with a painted vibe for color, and only gold (bc golden boy)—oh and then the blood showed up and honestly it all just checks out.

Bottom is Sunday prompt (pre-freshman year or post graduation) and how could I not do post grad when the Other Side of failure lives in my head rent free :’) I’m not really happy with it that much—I’ll probably finish it later but I do like the textures/colors that I pulled and am super happy with the overall design.

Hopefully I’ll get the Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday prompts up before the end of fan week but idk if I have the time to do the Wednesday one lmao—but even if its late Imma still post it bc I already have drafts of them all done and I need to draw more Beatrix bc they’re just so neat teehee

#adamandi #adamandifanweek #musicals #artwork #art #fanart #digital art #digital illustration

[cyncerity]

ok guys bit of a serious poll today.

don’t read if you don’t wanna think about or read about the controversy stuff rn (talking about mostly George and bringing up Wil a little bit)

i have a bunch of wips (like, a lot) that i’ve been looking to finish for a while. With my first year of college coming to an end next week (yippee!) i’ll hopefully have more time to write again and finish those. The downside here is that a significant amount of them involve someone who has had recent controversy. Not that one, but George’s.

If you wanna answer this poll without all the context (i’m physically incapable of writing a post without making it a wall of text), go right ahead, the tldr is that I believe the situation is extremely opinionated and there’s no right or wrong way to view it. With a community this size and the larger group of gnf fans so divided on how to feel, I feel it better to let you guys pick whether or not he should still be in stories.

context under the cut for those who wanna read everything before voting on the poll. I kinda wrote a lot tho so sorry lol

I wanted to give it time before I made this post given that unlike with the first situation, there are a lot more holes and a lot more nuance. I wanted to wait until both sides stated their cases and make my own decision from there. And in my opinion, this situation 1) should have been handled personally and 2) is entirely based on opinion. Both sides did right and wrong, but there isn’t a correct way to perceive this. Some people will believe one side while others will believe the other because the evidence presented can be taken in many ways. I know I personally lean one way, but this post isn’t about my own opinions.

I’m making this post to ask if people would still be ok with me using his character in stories. I’ll say it again: I haven’t really ever watched the DTeam so I do mean it when I say that I base what I write around a character and not him. I stopped writing for C!Wil because I am uncomfortable with writing his character interacting with the characters of people who have spoken against him, but so far most of George’s friends have defended him or stayed silent since this situation isn’t like Wil’s at all. It’s mostly all died down since both sides have moved on (i think?) knowing that they won’t agree on what happened.

I’ve already given my piece on You Know Who, and how numerous people spoke against him and many of his close friends dropped him. This post is not about him, I believe that there is no argument to be made for him. The facts are clear and the testimonies clearer: he is a bad person. As of right now and for the foreseeable future, I will not write him or his character, not unless he gets some serious help or makes some serious changes. I believe that people can change, but trust is easier destroyed than built. You shouldn’t forgive someone who doesn’t seek forgiveness.

anyway i know that this is a smaller community, so i wanna know how many people want me to just re-write things or feel uncomfortable with him in stories now. This isn’t asking if you think George is innocent or if you think he’s a bad person or anything like that, this poll has nothing to do with personal opinions of the situation itself. It’s simply asking if you would be uncomfortable with reading about his character because of the situation.

#serious post sorry #cyncerity #mcyt gt #mcyt g/t

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

#blog things

[peoplepersonoaktree]

Is this how I reply to comments like this? Idk. Anyway~

@banana-pancake5 if you actually wanted me to answer this, here-

HOLY CRAP THIS IS GONNA BE LONG-

Hopefully not too long- I'll try not to rant too much, we'll se tho

so, the Au is your basic, “what if Mikey wasn’t able to open a portal?” Au, which has been done a whole lot, I know, but oh well. I’ve been working on it since like, July and I’ve only gotten to pg 19, so idk if I’ll ever finish it.

so, one day, in like, mid June, when I first started actually trying to draw the turtles, I started drawing a thing in this little baby sketchbook I have, based on the song “Georgia” by Jonah Kagen. And then I sent it to my friend. And then it grew and we eventually came up with this and this entire storyline. We just kinda plotted this thing out where like, two weeks after the invasion, Donnie starts getting these weird visions of Leo in the prison dimension because why not, and tries to get him back with Casey's help or whatever because he thinks that these visions mean that Leo's still alive. Here’s the original pictures because I think they can be in here-

Idk. I didn’t know how to draw clothes and still don’t 😃👍

I don’t think I’ll ever post the comic on tumblr or anywhere because I probably won’t ever finish it, but if I get to a certain point in the comic, (which is way far away) maybe I will. Idk.

*Cough* and then I also have a mini thing where I turned them all into mushroom people but that's a whole different thing-

NOW TO THE KID’S SHOW WHICH IS THE PART I’M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT~

Like I said in this post, my friend texted me at like, 2 am on a school night, and was like, "Hey, hey hey... wanna write and animate a kid's show w/ me??" and I said heck yeah because I definitely have time for that. I asked her if she had any idea for what it would be about or anything like that and she did not, so we just kinda... pulled something out of the ground the next day and I ended up getting obsessed.

So, the kid's show...

We haven't figured out a name for it because we're both indecisive, which is... bad if you're trying to get something done. But we got characters and half a storyline settled!

So, the show is centered around four main characters, Atlas (A deer), Fern (A fox), Nutmeg (Mouse), and M I L D R E D (a chickadee). They're also in the post linked above.

The show would be about these four, going on little adventures, exploring the forest where they live, discovering odd creatures (thinking about adding in a few Acorn Creetchurs because that would be fun) and just living life

but as the series continues, the colors start to get more muted and the backgrounds start to get more gray, as if the life is being drained out of the forest.

one day, while exploring, they come upon this odd sort of... black goop that's spreading across the forest floor, infecting and killing everything it comes into contact with. Then, the four of them have to find a way to stop the spread of this odd goop. This goop represents pollution/deforestation, and we have a few ideas for how the goop started, one of my favorites being that it's controlled by some sort of animal spirit that grew up in a heavily polluted area and died at a young age because of the conditions and the only reason it's spreading is because it wants to be able to breathe fresh air and drink clean water for once, but it can't, because everything it touches immediately becomes polluted.

We both went into this knowing absolutely N O T H I N G about animating, so it'll probably be a few years until we're actually able to do anything with this, if we do anything with it.

That- that little animation is the most I can do with animation. That's the best I got.

#holy crap that's a lot- #I hope this is everything #hopefully it's not just my adhd rambling an it actually makes sense #idk how to draw deer guys #art #sketch #my art #rottmnt #acorn creetchurs #rottmnt au #kid's show #atlas the deer #nutmeg the mouse #fern the fox #mildred the chickadee #I also don't know how to draw birds #animation #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rise of the tmnt #digital art #i hate tags sm #that's enough I think #I might delete this because I hate my ramblings- #Acorn ramble #posting this late so I go to sleep and can't check tumblr every 2 mins to see if anything happened-

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

I’ve finally decided to upload the whole fanfic on here this is the start of it if you’d like to see more just let me know I’ll post a chapter a day unless anyone ask for more I’m really proud of this I know there are mistakes and all but here we go

Angst involved it does get mature eventually but for now just fluff and angst

It was late the buzz of Manchester leaking through my bedroom window as I lay in bed on my laptop in the mist of an online game of Pub-G (lame I know ). I've been playing for hours. I was supposed to be going to bed at least 3 hours ago ,that was the plan as I've got School tomorrow but for some reason I can't bring myself to close the game for the night. Doing things to preoccupy my mind is all I've needed for the past two weeks I've started studying for my GCSE,s probably to finally complete them in a few weeks and I'm so stressed about them. I kept ending up in games with and user called GeoDan16 and if by fate we keep ending up as the last players in the game and battling one another. I've won 7 of the 11 games we have played. I've added his user in the lobby of the games and I'm just waiting to see if he adds me back , This was so I can possibly have someone to speak to as I play. It takes about ten minutes before the acceptance alert rings through my room , as my laptop, phone and IPad light up due to having the game on all of them for all occasions. Spotting the alert on the corner of my laptop screen I pick up my phone and swiftly type a message. Yes I know I'm using my laptop and I could message them there but it feels better to message on my phone and play on my laptop. I just type a simple

TrumanBlack: " Hey there ...... these games are wild . You played good tho ;)"

I then just put my phone back onto the bed next to me and decide I want to watch YouTube for a while and hopefully let sleep consume me. After racking through YouTube for a video to watch I come across "Daz Blacks latest video I click on it , select the big screen options and pause it before it starts. I place me laptop down next to me and slide from my bed and into my on suite so I can use the bathroom and brush my teeth for what feels like the 20th time tonight. I've smoked an excessive amount tonight and I don't understand why. Hearing my alert tone go off again I quickly finish up in the bathroom and make my way back to bed and see my notification my my phone screen "message from GeoDan16". I open my phone properly to read it

GeoDan16: "Yo :) , thanks , how many games was that ?"

Pulling my blanket back around me I press play on the YouTube video and sink into the heat of the mattress and softness of the duvet

TrumanBlack : "I believe it was 11 , and I won 7 LOSER"

GeoDan16 : "Uhhh...rude , I still won 4 so excuse me but you ain't the overall winner "

TrumanBlack : "No I'm maybe not but I still did better than you ;D "

I know this is probably weird to think as I don't even know this person but feel a buzz something that says I'm gunna love them , like I've known them years and we're just catching up

GeoDan16: "Were just going to have to have a winner takes all round someday huh....also Truman??, What kind of name is that it's kinda interesting is someone obsessed with the Truman show or something "

TrumanBlack : "Nah I just came up with the name when I was like ten and it sounded kinda edgy :D "

As I'm laying there my eyes start to feel heavy and I can feel them starting to drop and I yawn. But I try to ignore it so I can stay up a little longer and hopefully learn more about this person

GeoDan16: " So it's not your real name then ???"

TrumanBlack: "nope it's actually Matty , what about you , what's your actual name "

GeoDan16 : "Contrary to popular belief it's not geo or Dan ... the names George "

TrumanBlack: "George...That's an old guys name...how old are you....im not talking to some ancient man am I "

I laugh to myself because obviously I can't be he played well ...too well for an old guy BUT I've got to cover my tracks my mum always tells me to be more safe online

GeoDan16: "Nah man I'm 16....oldest in my year .... Year 10 what about you ...Matty is 100% not your full name what are you 12?... rebelling against anyone who calls you your full name "

TrumanBlack : "I'll have you know George that I'm actually 17 not 12 and no my full name is Matthew but I only get called that at school or when I've pissed my mum off or my best friend.....but also year ten so your from the UK then"

GeoDan16: "yeh southwest London ....Wbu "

TrumanBlack : "ay im from Manchester "

It's not very often you meet someone from the same continent as you this late at night on these games so this is quite cool

TrumanBlack: "why you up so late then Georgie???"

GeoDan16: "I ain't been called Georgie since I was 7 Matthew :D , also I just can't sleep it's soooo cold right now ....and you ?"

TrumanBlack : "just stressing about GCSE's man ....I know I'm not dumb but my maths and physics are gunna go down the drain and I don't wanna fail "

GeoDan16: "ahh I feel ya bro ....I've just started studying for my GCSEs too but your must be year 11 and going to be doing them soon right ?"

TrumanBlack : "yup they start in a few weeks "

My eyes are now struggling to stay awake and my screen has become a blurry mess as I attempt to keep my eyes open and without realising it my phone slides out of my hand onto the duvet and my eyes shut slowly

GeoDan16 ; "I could help if you like "

I don't see or hear this message come through as I'm too far gone and too tired to realise and I just fall asleep and hopefully dream of good things

GeoDan16 "g'night Matty "

[sheliesshattered]

now that that bit of complaining is out of the way

I can officially call the pattern for Rhaenyra’s red dress done! Today I managed to squeeze in a bit of time around work stuff to finish truing up all the pattern pieces based on the experimental taking-in I did over the weekend, as detailed in the last post. Once those edits had been made to the paper pattern, I had to move a few of the markings on the curved seams and raise the armscye a bit, and then trim down the width of the skirt so all the panels match again.

Each of the skirt panels will now take up about 10.5″ of width there at the lowest point, so depending on how much the fabric shrinks when I (hand) wash it and (line) dry it, I might even be able to fit four panels side by side in the ~45″ wide red silk, even without staggering them. Because that fabric is a silk brocade I’m going to assume that it has a nap of one sort, color or pattern or both, and arrange all my panels with the same end up. But for the black silk organza for the underdress, I don’t have to worry about nap, and I should be able to get them in there at least four across, maybe even a bit tighter.

The 60/8 microtex machine needles I ordered arrived today, so I officially have everything needed to make the underdress. Even though I’m still at least a few days away from needing those needles, it’s nice to have them on hand and ready to go. I think the red silk should arrive by the end of the week, but I don’t think I’ll get to that until sometime in March.

My plan for the black organza is to trace the panels onto the fabric, then stay-stitch just slightly outside the stitching line, and then cut out all the pieces, just to avoid any sort of warping or unraveling. I don’t know if this silk is going to be nearly that fiddly or not, but better safe than sorry I figure. And I’m almost certainly going to do the same thing with the red brocade, so might as well give it a test run now on fabric that won’t really be seen.

Once I have the panels all traced, stay-stitched, and cut out, I’m going to hand-baste a couple of the curvier seams, particularly the one that runs over the bust, and possibly the one over the shoulderblade as well. That bust curve is so extreme, with no real way to change it, so all I can do is work out the easing issues during the basting phase, rather than trying to wrangle it with dozens of pins under the machine needle.

I think everything besides those curved seams should be really easy, tho. All the notches (well, triangles on the silk) should match up exactly since I measured so carefully, and the majority of the seams are those long straight perfectly matched skirt panels. Hopefully it’ll all go together really smoothly. Fingers crossed, anyway.

I’ve decided I’m going to do a mock-French seam finish for the black organza, since it’ll be easier than trying to adjust my seam allowance just for the underdress like a real French seam would need, but still give a nice clean inside edge and help prevent any fraying. I’ll finish the neck and armscyes by hand, and I have plans for a deep hem based on a picture from the HotD set, but I’ll talk more about that when the time comes.

As with most of my projects, I can see it all so clearly in my head, and I’ve planned several steps ahead of where I am now, but we’ll see if that plan survives once it’s put into action, lol. And my job may get super busy over the next week and a half or so, so it may be awhile before I can really dig into this again, I’m not sure yet. But either way, I’ll post pictures of the underdress as it starts to come together!

#cosplay plans #my cosplay #my sewing #my pattern drafting #2023 mood #RRD cosplay

[jungwnies]

*peeks shyly from the door*

hi

hey baby girl, how are you?

sorry for being a lil mia, I gotta admit october wasn’t the best month for me and november isn’t looking that great either (not worse but not better just a little meh), some stuff happened personally and let’s just say I’ve been in the need of a break

good/bad news is that im officially starting therapy once again tomorrow! yup, last month really set the line for it hehe

it’s a little bittersweet you know, thinking you’re getting better but then not idk just really blue u.u

but okay! i didn’t come here to make you gloomy, i mean yeah last month sucked but at least taylor dropped a new album ^^

also ive been talking and getting closer with my dad a lot these past few weeks so that’s nice, actually the whole reason why im back in therapy is cause he cares and got really worried about my state so gotta thank dad!<33

i also loved seulgi’s solo debut (slaaay) and last time i popped in here i started rewatching glee and guess who already finished it? me :D

i also rewatched shadowhunters and now im starting ted lasso! (I’ve heard is a great show and so far so good!)

kinda shocked tho it’s already November and omg the end of the years is in a couple of weeks omG STOP

n e ways, what have you been up to? my guess is school but tell me how do you feel about it? or if you don’t want to talk about school that’s okay just tell me how you’ve been and how you’ve enjoyed your days? ^^

sending lots of love to you darling

i don’t know when I’ll pop back in here so as usual: eat your meals, drink your water, listen to your favorite artists, read/write when you want to and don’t overwork yourself <33

you can do it! 파이팅 ^^

-🧸anon

omg hi :) i'm so sorry to hear the past two months have been SUCKY, but i'm glad you've gotten a break because everyone needs one at some point !!! therapy is never something bad, the reason for going might not be the best reason but the outcome will be better than nothing, right? <3 omg... also i love taylor's album, some of my fav songs on there are maroon, snow on the beach, and lavender haze 🫶 it's always nice to be recognized by a parent and receive their love and care, so i'm glad you've got comfort, love, and support from your dad. 28 reason by seulgi is actually heaven sent, it's sooooo good omg ?!?!?! there's only a few weeks left in the year, i feel like this year passed by sooo quickly it's bittersweet LOL

lately i've been super busy, i got a job recently (i love it so much, it's so easy but all my coworkers are so fun and sweet) and school has been pretty chill, exams started though so i'm studying like there's no tomorrow LMFAO

i also got post nasal drip so i'm like suffering from a dry cough, it hurts so much LMFAO... i just got medicine for it today so hopefully it goes away soon 👍

i started love in contract, i also finished it and it was one of the best kdramas i've watched 10/10 recommend

make sure you eat your meals, drink your water, listen to your favorite artists as well <3

#🧸 #🧸 anon #🧸 — jungwnies #jungwnies #📥 — jungwnies #inbox #answered #hi anon i've missed you <3 #<3

[mars-onthe-moon]

I saw that picture(s) you just did of Bill and Dipper (lol, they were just being funny in that one), and it mentioned Covid.

Did you get Covid? If so, I hope you feel better. I caught something too recently (either Covid, Strept throat, or the Stomach Flu) and it put me out of commission for like a week (too), give or take less too, and I am just now, kind of getting over it. So I hope you feel better soon too; being sick sucks.

Also, when you are feeling better, I am excited to see ur Mabcifica animation! And it is going to be angsty too! Nice. Even nicer, since your last 2 animations have been more comedic; though still great.

Ur Bill and Ford was funny btw (I esp. love when Ford starts speaking, I think it was Japanese? And then starts levitating, mainly due to the context reasons why Ford is doing so), and ur animation with Mabel, Soos, and the Fairies was so funny and so underrated. Soos, little laugh at the end and the "I am dead"/"I am so dead" (can't remember if that line had a "so" or not) was so SO funny.

My BillDip heart hopes one day to see a BillDip animation from ya, but I still love the animations you have done/will do regardless.

P.S.: I really like ur BillDip fic; one of my favs. And sorry for the anon on this Ask. I got a bit nervous/shy for some reason.

Yeah, unfortunately I think I picked it up from work. So, I’ve been resting mostly. I’m just now starting to draw and write again because, man- those first five days were killer. Now I just have this cough that won’t go away, but fever wise I’m all good, so, thank you! Yeah, being sick is no fun. Its like, on one hand I’ve gotten to miss some work, but on the other, I’m too sick to enjoy the days off. Glad you’re starting to feel better tho and hopefully it’s gone for good soon!

Legit, thank you for your feedback! It’s honestly nice to hear because I feel like I put out the most random shiz content.. so no one is gonna follow it in it’s entirety, but here you are proving me wrong and I’m psyched!

Making the crack animation is so fun. I mean, I love angst and ship art too, but finding funny tiktok sounds and then drawing my goofy boy Bill is a mood boost. Levitating Stanford sends me.

Also, glad the audio worked out for the fairies one! Because I had to splice that Bob’s Burger ep with audio from ‘Soos and the real girl’ and I was worried about the quality diffs.

I have a few billdip animation idea’s in my drafts, so maybe I’ll start to focus on some of those! I honestly have like waaaaay to many billdip wips in general, that I start and then never finish 😅 so yeah, I’ll start going through those!

Thanks about the fic! It’s my first and only one so I really appreciate that! I’ve been in like writer’s/editor block for too long now, I really need to just post the chapters that I have. So, since I have till Friday before work starts up again, I’ll try and get that up for y’all!

Hehe sneak peek time. Rn I’m working on a Bill animation, magical girl style! So, I’ll try to be posting that in the near future as well!

[hwaitham]

waahhh miss coco ! ! ‘m readin + re-readin your reply to mi askie like dis → ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ u are just da Sweetest 🍬🍬 thankuuu 4 da apple crumble recipe ! i’m not 100% sure i’ll make it but if i do i will deffo deffo thimk abt u ! ! n probablie tell u abt it hehe

&& i hv seen da hsr trailer ! ! ! i hvn’t looked at it supa closely yet tho but 1.5 seems cuteee + ‘m supa excited 2 meet huohuo ! ! she’z such a litl cutie pie aaaaa her animations put a smile on mi face ++ i jus’ wanna wrap her up in a big comfie blankie n’ giv her a cute plushie go snuggle up wif 🧸 as for mister bladie . . . ‘m running him on 4pc longevous disciple + 2pc inert salsotto for da planar ornaments ! main stats r crit dmg body n’ spd boots + wind dmg sphere n’ hp rope ! ofcz da body piece cn b crit rate too depending on wat u need but his traces giv sum crit rate too ( 12% if u unlock all three of dem ) + hp boots also work wif him ! ! i thimk da general rule is 2 go spd boots . . . i kno ‘s a valuable stat to hv but i don’ rllie know why eepies . . . in addition to spd , i look for crit n hp% on substats ♡ i don’ hv his signature light cone so he’s got arlan’s a secret vow n i dn’t hv eidolons either . . ! i actually only downloaded hsr at da tail end of his banner o.o so i didn’t hv lotsa jades 2 throw at him but fortunately he came home in vry few pulls ૮꒰ ྀྀི⸝⸝ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ᵕ ก̀⸝⸝꒱১ i might pull for his e1 + bis lc on a future rerun but who knows when that’ll be eepies . . m waitin’ vry vry patiently tho ૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ྀིა wah i wuv buildin’ mi charas n ‘m alw happie to tlk abt it moar if u wan !

&& ‘m soooooososososooooo excited for da new genshin update ! ! ! wah wah wah mister neuvi looked so good in da trailer + i wub lady furina so vry mawch + da new fontaine regions ! ! ! ! eeeeekk ‘m a bit sad bcos i won’t hv time to play da archon quest dis week snifflez but it is wat it is . . . n n n ! ! ! ( no nut novembie . . ? ) omigawsh a wriwri thirst ? ? ? for . . . mi ? ! ‘m blushin’ + mi heart is doing litl flutterz waaahh i felt so warm n cozie readin’ dat post !

&& i hv a question ! 4 da one n’ only ! ! u ! ! ! miss cocopup r u a pumpkin spice girlie ? ‘ve nvr actually had it bfore but methinks i’ll try it dis yr ! i wub u so vry vry mawch my sweet coco <3 — 🌷

tusm for all da tips on building bladie , rosebud ( is it okies if i call u dat ?? i jus thought it'd b fitting based on ur emoji signoff hehe c: ) ! ! u're so so kind ! ₍ᐢ ´ ᵕ ` ᐢ₎ i opened da starrail app a few daiz ago , but closed it instantly wen i saw how many things i had missed . . . aaa i'll open it again n' catch up dis wknd hopefully when i hv less work 2 do :3 speaking of . . wat server do u play on ? was simply wondering whether u wntd to b fwens on da app ! ><

n da new genshie update is so fun ! ! 've only played a teensie weensie bit of da new archon quest , but dere hv alrdy been soooo many surprises . . . i can't wait to finish da rest of it ( ྀི𓏼>̶̥̥̥᷄ ·̫ <̶̥̥̥᷅𓏼) do u plan on rolling on any of da banners dis patch ? 'm contemplating rolling for furina + charlotte ( mostly charlotte since i WUB her design — da litl bowtie on her camera is so vewy adorbz ! ) but also i rllie wnt to save m primos for nahida + raiden ( maybeee :3 ) + getting haithie cons ﾉ ayaka cons ! !

honestly , i am not a big psl pup ! ! i'll alwys hv it once a year in da fall just for da sake of it , but i rllie only drink hot choco wen i go to cafes ! ! ! cannot forget da chantilly cweam on top especially 🤍 but u shld give da psl a try n see how u like it ! oooh my dearest rosebud , seeing ur askies alwys bring me so much joy , even if i may not be able to reply to u right away . i hope u hv d sweetest dreams tonite , n every night dat follows . . . i wubwubwubbbb u furever ! ! ! 🐾🌸

#( ˶˘ ³˘(｡˃ ᵕ ˂｡ ྀི)

[iced-souls]

Oh yeah so I am just gonna talk about it now because *cough* it’s probably gonna take a lil while longer to finish cause of schul *cough* so I shall now update you all on

MY PLANS—

SO this is both for myself and if y’all wanna know what I shall be doin or somethin—

Ok so—

Obviously, as I’ve said before, I’m gonna finish this next update for left behind, in which I have almost finished the line art for it, and then hopefully if I don’t give up on doin which I might do cause meh—, I’ll finish the ut dr anniversary drawing. WHICH I MADE THE SKETCH FOR IT on the day but ran out of time…. It’s also not the beeeest but if I do give up on it then I’ll just post the sketch with the next school doods post probably—.

But anyways, after that I am planning on trying to post less/draw less/ focus more on school stuff for a while, at least until I get the hang of things….. which I do not know how long that will take—.

Mainly decided this cause I’m getting distracted and I stress out a lot when I have to many things to do/ want to do, so I’m cutting off a bit for my brains sake.

However I DO also have plans for if I ever get free time and want to do some stuff.

Lemme find my notes—

Ok so 1st thing which I can do in any free time, also possibly if I go to this 1 club in my school that happened last year(art club) so I can get a specific time to do drawing stuff hehehe, is make some more oc references, which I’ll probably add onto artfight for next year. There’s only a couple I REALLY have been wanting to do for a while now, which I have in my notes—.

So that’s: that one Skeleguy, lollipop guy, pineapple baller guy (edit: also jimjam). And then some other guys I might do are: Dust! Undyne, Sun angel + lightning rainbow guy, minecraft sona stone golem guy, aaaaaand underscrungle guys.

Speaking of underscrungle, I’ll probably figure out some more roles for that, I’ll probs just right it down sometime—.

Ight ok, 2nd thing iiiiiiiis…… OH YEAH, also have mentioned before, but I might also work on another rottmnt x my ocs compilation. I have 2 clips in my head currently and there’s bound to be more. When will I work on this? I have an animation club starting up at my school so imma work on it 1 day of the week during that time. So probably will take a while to finish—.

Tttthhhheennnnnnnnnnnn……..OH ok so I will be working on setting up left behind and void gang. As in writing up what each update will be if that makes sense.

Cause for left behind. I have the basis written up, aswell as some lil short stories that’ll happen, but that’s it really. So the ending is finished really but I’m gonna layout the mini episodes that are taking place in chapter 1 and chapter 2. Actually cause I find it kinda funny let me show you the papers I have for the left behind writing—.

So as you can tell I am CLEARLY a very organized person— honestly half of this is all of chapter 3. I have to run through it all to find where my comic lore is currently at tho lol—

Worst part about that is that is that I go through—

—THESE OLD FRICKIN DRAWINGS OH MY GOSH—. THEY MAKE ME CRINGE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM OOOUUUGHHH—

ANYWAYS—

Void gang I’m just gonna set it up but I’m trying not to get toooo detailed in that cause I want it to be more of a surprise…… if you can even call it that tho—.

Anyways, so that about it. There also probably won’t be AS many school dood drawings for the same reasons, but I’ll get like… 1 page at least done?

But yeah. OH ALSO I’ve had some character challenge thingies in my draft box for a while now that I’ll also probably get more time to do—. So yeah.

May/ probably will pop up every now and then in the meantime. So If I DO get any asks I’ll probably be able to answer them cause I can usually finish answerin them quick—. All of these plans probably look like I’m not ACTUALLY taking a chill period but in relation to what I planned on doing, it is. Uuuuuuuhhhhh anything else? …… OH yeah I am still gonna post undertale September stuff. Uuuuuuhmmmm.. so yeah.

Really, a summary for all of this is instead of trying to split drawing with school work like a 50 50 thing, I will be more focused on school and drawing will only happen at certain and random times when I am free—.

Sooooooo yeah. BUT THAT WILL START ONCE IM DONE THIS NEXT LEFT BEHIND PAGE. I have also just planned out today of how the next update will go so that’ll be the first thing to right down—

ANYWAYS IM I THINK IM DRAGGING THIS ON LONGER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE SO I SHALL SAY BUH BYE AND HAVE A GOOD DAY ALRIGHT SEE YA—

#ighty ight. #was gonna post this after I finish LB page but it’s taking slower process than I would like #and —like my brain likes to do— not postin this was also givin me a lil stress for some reason #so just decided to get it off my chest— #COOLIO #I guess it’s kinda like I’m goin on a hiatus? but then at the same time not….? #ok ok I am startin to ramble again— #PEACE OUT #*disintegrates* #have a good day #random stuff— #left behind #void gang

[berryunho]

The early army days were SO bad oml not only those horrible sweatshirts but also the memes… UGH think I just gagged 💀 anytime someone mentions “y0u g°t n• j@ms” or pink Princess Jin or whatever tf it makes me want to revert into my goo goo ga ga era 😭😐

I wouldn’t donate my sweatshirt tho cause even though I no longer stan them, I don’t want someone to see that I’ve ever had that sweatshirt in my possession LIKE ID RATHER DIE

But ohHhhHh starting a longer series like breaking bad is a good idea to pass time! I hear abt breaking bad all the time but I’m not really into the dr*gs or those kinds of crime genres but let us know if you like it and then maybe I’ll give it a try!

I prefer watching anime so if you want any longer anime recs then I’d fs recommend Gintama! (No pressure tho cause it do be a 200+ episode series 💀)

I hope you have a great start of your week tmrw! You still have 2 weeks and a half of quarantine iirc but after this you’ll be able to see your coworkers and hopefully fulfill that overtime request before classes start up again 🤧 or did they start already for you? :0 if not then yay but if so then I wish you all the best with your studies 😭💖

- Love, 🍓 anon

OH ALSO IF I DO END UP REWRITING THE FIX THEN YOULL HAVE TO LOOK FOR IT YOURSELF OR ELSE IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF 🍓 ANON DKDKDMKD might give you a hint hint nudge nudge tho when I do tho 🤭🤭 also! If you have any ideas of what you’d like to see from it then lmk lolol :P - 🍓 anon

NOT THE EARLY ARMY MEMES..... a shudder went down my spine reading that first paragraph.... dark dark times lol but pls exactly you cant donate it bc it would then be known that you owned it ... horrifying LKSJDLFKJSF

yes i felt like i needed to fill my boredom with something and i was trying to watch some kdramas but like... i couldnt find any that seemed interesting enough to devote hours of my life to LOL i am very much a historical romance kdrama enjoyer (i accredit this to again. early kpop stan days. when i watched moon lovers as it aired for baekhyun. and TO THIS DAY it is my favorite drama and i sincerely believe it to be the best one ive ever seen) and anyways it feels like a good historical drama hasnt come out in forever </3

ive never been much of an anime watcher (besides death note. bc death note is like. one of the best stories ever told in human history. and i stand by that) BUT i looked at the plot summary and gintama does sound interesting so maybe i will check it out!!

hehe thank you but yes i still have 2 weeks of quarantine ... but alas my classes start basically right after i finish quarantine so i wont be going back to work :') but ill definitely stop in to visit before i move to campus bc id be sad leaving without saying goodbye !

hehe i do suppose that that would definitely defeat being anonymous ... but hhehehe if you told me when you were gonna start uploading i could prooooobably find it .... no pressure though of course hehe i wouldnt look if it would make you uncomfortable ! hmmm im always a fan of a love triangle and/or very dramatic confessions of love but you know. you do you ! hehehe

but yeah! thank you for the well wishes as always and uh..... i hope you enjoy the update that ill be posting like. 5 seconds after i post this. KLDFJ:SLKFJD:KSLJF ily <3

#🍓 anon #answered #:]

[cryingcow]

Yellow Dragon Wandering Chronicles [RGGO] --- Ch. 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Side Story | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

[1-1] | [1-2] | [1-3] | [1-4] | [1-5] | [1-6] | [1-7]

Hello! I was planning to kick this off like a week ago but IRL stuff kicked me instead D: Anyway for tonight and for the next who-knows-how-many weeks, I’ll be posting about one of the main stories in RGG Online / RyuOnline, “Yellow Dragon Wandering Chronicles”, aka “Goda Ryuji’s Travel Log”, aka “The Yakuza 0.5 K-Drama you never knew you wanted: The Tale of the Two Most Conspicuous Koreans in Japan”! This story has a total of 6 chapters split into 39 parts (40 if you count the Side Story linked above), and seeks to answer the question, “What does it mean to live?” I’ll be posting the chapters in whole weekly / biweekly / if IRL permits on Saturday nights like this, to avoid cliffhangers. I’ve got ~75% per chapter finished, so hopefully I finish these before December lol

Spoilers: While you can read this after playing Y2/YK2, it is preferable that you have finished (or at least have knowledge of) the mainline Yakuza Kiryu games Y0 to Y6 to fully appreciate it. Since this is about Ryuji going on a roadtrip around Japan, this will also serve as a roadtrip down memory lane, especially since he visits familiar places and conflicts in Y5 and Y6 :D (some Y7 stuff is also mentioned but it’s minimal and probably not spoiler-y, tho I wouldn’t know since I haven’t played Y7). I’ll be putting notes at the end of the parts, in line with this :D

[Chapter 1: Yakuza Expulsion]

.

CHAPTER 1-1

.

|In this country, there are two yakuza organizations competing for supremacy in the underworld. One is the Tojo Clan, the largest organization in eastern Japan. The other is the Omi Alliance, the largest yakuza organization in western Japan. The Tojo Clan and the Omi Alliance . . . with equilibrium between these two major organizations, order in the underworld is maintained.|

|And then, 1999. Omi Alliance direct family, the Go-Ryu Clan. Chairman Goda Jin is on the verge of being named the Fifth Chairman of the Omi Alliance. Together with that, it is rumored that Jin would nominate the next Chairman of the Go-Ryu Clan. Meanwhile, there is a man considered the most promising candidate for the next Go-Ryu Clan Chairman. The man’s name is—|

Yakuza: “Goda Ryuji!! Today will be the anniversary of your death!!”

Ryuji: “Then bring it on quickly. Heh . . . hurry up or my death anniversary will be over!”

[ 4th generation of the Omi Alliance, direct subsidiary family Go-Ryu Clan Acting Captain: Goda Ryuji ]

Yakuza: “Riding on your parent’s influence has made you conceited . . . ! Die!!”

{Ryuji kicks the guy’s butt.}

Yakuza: “Hi-Hiiiii . . . St-Stop! No more—”

Ryuji: “Oraaa!!”

Yakuza: “Puhaagh!!”

{The yakuza collapses from Ryuji’s final punch.}

Ryuji: “Hmph . . . boring.”

Ryuji’s Entourage A: “Incredible, Aniki! Strong as an oni, as always!”

Ryuji’s Entourage B: “Hehe, look at this idiot. His eyes have turned white.”

Ryuji’s Entourage A: “He’s a hundred years too early to be picking a fight with Aniki. This total idiot!”

Ryuji’s Entourage B: “That’s right. This person is the son of the next Omi Chairman!”

Ryuji: “Hold it.”

Ryuji’s Entourage B: “Eh . . . ?”

Ryuji: “You sayin' all I am is the next Chairman’s son?”

Ryuji’s Entourage B: “Eh? No . . . y-you’re amazing . . .”

Ryuji: “I benefit from my parent’s influence, you say?!?!”

Ryuji’s Entourage B: “Ugiyaaah!!”

{Ryuji’s entourage collapses from Ryuji’s punch.}

Ryuji’s Entourage A: “Hi-Hiiiii . . .”

Ryuji: “. . . . . . tch.”

{Footsteps are heard as someone approaches.}

Man in Black: “It’s good to see you, young master.”

Ryuji: “. . . What is it.”

Man in Black: “Oyaji is calling for you.”

Ryuji: “Aah . . . ? What for?”

Man in Black: “He wants to tell you in person. Oyaji is waiting at Headquarters. Heh. It must be good. Probably about being the next Chairman of the Go-Ryu Clan. As long as Oyaji is the Chairman of the head family, he cannot serve as the Go-Ryu Clan Chairman at the same time. Is it possible he’s taking the opportunity to remove the ‘acting’ from the young master’s title of Acting Captain? To be the Captain for a while, and eventually become Chairman . . . I’m sure that’s Oyaji’s idea.”

Ryuji: “. . . Hmph. Took him long enough.”

Man in Black: “A car is available. Right this way . . .”

----

Ryuji: “Calling me all the way to Headquarters is as expected of ya, Fifth Chairman.”

Jin: “. . . You came?”

[ 4th generation of the Omi Alliance, direct subsidiary family Go-Ryu Clan Chairman: Goda Jin ]

Ryuji: “You met with me, it seems like you’re finally willing to give it up?”

Jin: “. . .”

Ryuji: “Hmph. Yakuza have old-fashioned ideas. Saying I’m too young—until recently I’ve been content with the half-hearted position of Acting Captain. If it’s true, I’ll immediately take charge of the family even if I have to put up with being Captain for a while.”

Jin: “. . . Too young.”

Ryuji: “Ah . . . ?”

Jin: “That’s why you’re too young. Ryuji.”

Ryuji: “Did you call me here for a sermon?”

Jin: “. . . I have something to tell you.”

Ryuji: “. . . Haw. Then say it.”

Jin: “Ryuji. I have a directive. Today, in this place you—are excommunicated.”

.

-END-

.

Next >>>>>>>>>

[1-1] | [1-2] | [1-3] | [1-4] | [1-5] | [1-6] | [1-7]

Masterlist

#''4th generation'' means under the current Omi Alliance management since Jin hasnt stepped up to be 5th Omi Chairman yet #Also I kept ''Oyaji'' untranslated on purpose to show that Ryuji doesnt really address his father differently from regular yakuza #as opposed to Kiryu calling the orphan-maker ''Oyassan'' #rgg online #rggo lore #rggo #rgg #Ryu ga Gotoku #yakuza #ryuji goda #goda ryuji #goda jin #jin goda

[caleiiiii]

mcyt subway au pt 4 - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

check out the master post here !

halloween

phil lets everyone dress up for the halloween weekend as long as they wear the nametag and hat

tubbo dresses up as a bee (it matches the pin on his visor :D)

tommy tries to “dress up” as schlatt, but gets denied as soon as he walks in the door

wilbur, the shift lead, decides that tommy can just. wear a sheet over his head with the eyes cut out

he has to wear the hat and nametag on the sheet tho

wilbur, quackity, and fundy decide it would be hilarious to all wear their uniforms backwards

hats, shirts, aprons, pants, it’s all backwards

wilbur asks fundy if hes gonna wear his fursuit (this is before the philza smackdown)

fundy is Not Pleased 

the dream team + karl dress up as hogwarts students

instantly the favorites from all the kids who come into the store

technoblade dresses up as a vampire 

isnt allowed to ring people up because of the fake fangs

eret dresses up as a king, also attempts to wear those like 5 inch platform heels

the reason he cant is because he kept hitting his head on things

niki dresses up as wednesday addams

phil told her she wasnt allowed to keep the crossbow on her :(

schlatt just shows up in his everyday clothes

when quackity asks who hes dressed up as schlatt just responds

“God”

no one else asks any questions

the proofer incident

one time tubbo was sick and couldn’t work his shift

everyone else was busy so phil let tommy and wilbur work it alone

since tubbo always bakes the bread, tommy had to do it

(for context, you have to proof bread before you bake it so it rises)

so tommy placed all the dough in the proofer to proof

but he didnt set the timer right

cut to a few hours later

the two are just finishing up a big rush when wilbur looks into the proofer

“tommy, you do know how to set the timer on the proofer, right?”

“what timer?”

tommy looks into the proofer

its just

dough

so much dough

(when you overproof dough it gets really big)

wilbur starts CACKLING 

tommy just. stares

they run out of bread that evening

languages

tubbo asks niki to teach him german one night

niki decides to hang up a bunch of sticky notes on items around with the store with the german word for it

fundy and quackity begin to do the same for dutch and spanish respectively

phil tells them as long as its in the back room he doesnt mind

speedrunning sandwiches

dream is hella good at making sandwiches

prides himself on being pretty damn good at his job

one day he hears rumors about a worker from another subway store who is super fast at making sandwiches

dream, curious, asks what location and decides to pay a visit to this newfound competitor

when he gets there, he meets illumina

the guy is just so fast at making sandwiches

dreams internal monolouge: “oh, this is my new rival”

as illumina is making his sandwich hes just like. mentally taking notes

he starts going to the other subway like about 3-4 days a week

everytime he asks for illumina to make his sandwich

every single time

time skip to two ish weeks later or smth

dream has made way too many google docs and spreadsheets over this

once he was editing it on the company computer and sapnap caught him and just stared in horror

he goes into the subway to order another sandwich and asks for illumina again

as dream is paying illumina kinda asks

“hey, so uh, is there a reason that you come in here like every day and always request that i make your sandwich?”

dream just. Freezes

its a weird conversation

the kitten incident(s) -an expansion on an idea by @trademarked-but-not-really !

schlatt, despite the façade he puts up, is a big softie

one time he finds a tiny kitten on his way to work

in a split second decision he just. brings the kitten to work

places the cat in his cubby behind his sweatshirt

during his lunch break he goes to the back room to play with the kitten

quackity catches schlatt holding the kitten and baby-talking it

“who’s a good kitty? you are! you-”

“uh, schlatt, what are you doing?”

quackity gets so much blackmail

“if you tell anyone about this you’re dead.”

quackity uses his blackmail to get out of so much stuff

after that incident, schlatt gets better at hiding the kittens

there are still some slip ups tho

phil: “is that cat hair on the floor?”

schlatt, hiding a kitten in his apron: “no... hopefully”

after his shift he always brings the kittens to the local animal shelter

he also volunteers there during his free time

one time niki comes in to adopt a cat and walks in only to see schlatt holding 3 small kittens

one in each hand, and another climbing up his shoulder

they just -stare- at eachother

needless to say, another person gains blackmail on schlatt that day

trade-offs

tommy, tubbo, and wilbur haggle and trade doing certain tasks

mainly sweeping the store and stocking the chips display

these trades get VERY intense

“i’ll start on freezer pulls if you sweep and mop” “only if you do prep work tomorrow” “deal!”

“i’ll let you bake bread and cookies if you also stock the chip display” “ugh, fine”

one day phil comes in to do inventory just to see the three boys standing by the task list screaming at each other

luckily only bad and skeppy were in the shop

schlatt and wilbur origins

when schlatt  first started working at subway, he always got paired with wilbur on shifts

(this is before tommy and tubbo started working at subway)

they got along like a house on fire

they always made up bets to complete while they worked

on their first shift alone they decided to play a hellish rendition of “the floor is lava”

whoever lost had to buy the others meals for a month

skeppy and bad agreed to be the referees for the day

they took extra chairs from the back and placed them around the shop so they could get around without touching the floor

they even put chairs behind the bain (the area behind the counter)

after they set everything up, the game began

from then on, they spent the whole day perched on chairs

customers were

very confused

to say the least

many tasks were done poorly or not at all in an attempt to win the bet

the two survive until the end of the day with no major failures

in a last ditch attempt to win, schlatt made a dramatic final speech and pushed wilbur from the chair he was standing on

skeppy recorded the whole speech

unfortunately, wilbur hit the floor just as phil arrived

the manager in question was PISSED

wilbur and schlatt were banned from working together in the future

feel free to send my asks about this au!! also, if you write/draw anything for this au, please tag me!!! i’d love it see it :D

tag list :)

@i-am-a-wizard @eva-ticket @oakskull @thesmpisonfire @trademarked-but-not-really @orange-is-salty-tm @pixelatedrose @hollow-hypocrite @astrono @nootella23 @hot-dumbass @jen-dot-net @karlljacobs @gearstorm @nico-nat @marvel-snowbaz

#mcyt #mcyt au #mcyt subway au #dreamwastaken #eret #fundy #georgenotfound #jschlatt #karl jacobs #niki nihachu #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #tubbo #philza #technoblade #sapnap #quackity #badboyhalo #skeppy

[theasstour]

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟏𝟓.𝟔𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

A/N: Hiya my lovelies ❣️ I’ve been thinking about this for a while and some of you might have seen it coming, but this will be the last chapter that I post of Bloodsport on Tumblr! The lack of interaction when posting on here and Wattpad has been very discouraging and it’s not fun posting on here anymore tbh, and that’s what posting fic’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be fun! And don’t start with the fucking “write cos you love it not cos you want reader interaction” lmao, cos we’ve been over it and I wouldn’t have gotten a degree in literature and creative writing if I thought writing was a chore. Of course, those that DO reblog and send me asks literally make my entire day and I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me ✨ You have my entire heart!!! I’ll still be posting on Patreon, and a chapter will be made available each week for those that still wanna read BS, meaning you don’t have to be a patron to read the chapters! I’ll publish each week for everyone to read at 9pm GMT each Sunday and then link it on the masterlist here, tho my darling patrons will still naturally be two chapters ahead! Anyway, thank you so much to those that have interacted with BS and me over the last few months and hopefully will continue to do so all the way till October! Love you ❣️

Wednesday, 17 October 2018

“You working Friday?” Isla asked as she appeared on Y/N’s phone screen. Y/N had been in the middle of doing some uni work when Isla had FaceTimed her, her head pounding after hours of concentrating on an essay she had to finish by the end of October.

“Why?”

“’Cause I am,” she answered, beaming at Y/N who smiled back.

“Yeah, I’m working,” Y/N said, pulling the strap of her pink-black fluffy cami up her shoulder. “Also working Saturday and Sunday.”

“Aww,” Isla said, pouting now. “You can’t go to the Uno Society and a library sesh later on in the weekend?”

Y/N shrugged. “Depends on how tired I am, but I’ll probably want to sleep in a bit if I’m gonna stay up until 3am driving around Hackney delivering pizza.”

“I’ll just stay home and finish this sodding essay,” Isla said.

“You can go to the library by yourself, babe,” Y/N reminded her, putting her phone up against her laptop screen so she wouldn’t have to hold it.

“I know, but I just cannot be asked.”

A noise came from under Y/N’s door, and when she looked in the direction of the slight disruption, she saw a very familiar sight. Trying not to grin like a madman in front of the camera so Isla could see and demand to know what was happening, Y/N ducked out of sight as she got the note and read it quickly.

Come to my room.

H x

She smiled and put it down on the desk beside her laptop, looking at Isla who was in the middle of putting her hair up and away from her face. Though she wanted to go to Harry, she couldn’t just abandon Isla, especially not when she had called like this, clearly wanting some company.

“Have you talked any more to Mason, then?” Y/N asked her, trying to finish the sentence she had started on before Isla had called her.

“W-Why would I talk to Mason?”

Y/N tried not to smile, shrugging her shoulders as she tried to come up with the correct words to use to sound as much of an obnoxious academic as she possibly could. “You two seem to get along, just wondered if that was the case.”

“We haven’t really talked much since the rugby game,” she admitted.

“Why not?”

“’Cause he hasn’t messaged me and I don’t wanna be the one to message first.”

Y/N cocked her head to the side, reading the sentence she had just written in full before she answered Isla. “I’m sure that if you text him first, he’s gonna be ecstatic.”

There was a slight noise under Y/N’s door again, and when she looked this time, it was the same sight that greeted her. She leaned down, picked up the note, and smiled a little to herself.

Hello??? I can hear you.

“What if he finds me annoying for it?” Isla asked.

“How could he?”

“Well…” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I just dunno if that’s the kind of thing Mason likes. Do you know? You’ve known him for a while.”

“Not in that sense,” Y/N said. “He hasn’t really told me what he likes when talking to girls. He keeps his romantic life a well-hidden secret.”

Isla sighed. “Then I’m just gonna have to wait.”

“I can make him text you.-“

“-No, don’t make him do it, he’ll chicken out.”

“You dunno that.”

“I have a hard time imagining Mason doing something someone’s told him to do,” Isla said.

“Unless it’s you telling him.”

Isla’s cheeks suddenly grew very red and Y/N laughed just as another note slid under her door. She felt herself laughing a little more at the sight of it. Part of her liked the fact that she was keeping Harry waiting, while the other just wanted to run off to his room. After all, he had been the one to initiate them meeting in his room this Wednesday.

I’m impatient.

Yes, you are, Y/N thought to herself, putting the note down along with the others on her desk. She looked up at Isla as she buried her face down in a book, and Y/N laughed some more at that.

“I won’t talk to him about messaging you, Isla. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you.”

“But will you initiate the conversation then? Men like it when we take the first step. Or so I’ve heard.”

Her phone suddenly vibrated with a notification.

Harry

Check under your fucking door

And a second later:

Harry

Xx

She tried not to chuckle.

“Isla, I’ve gotta go, I gotta finish this paragraph before I make myself some dinner, but we’ll chat, yeah?”

Isla nodded. “Yeah, we will.”

“See ya.”

“Love you.”

Y/N smiled. “Love you, too.”

The two of them hung up, and Y/N made sure the last sentence she wrote made sense before she closed her phone and got up. As soundlessly as she managed, she opened her door and stepped out, then slowly closed it behind her to make as little noise as possible. Harry must have been standing at his door waiting for any sign of her arriving soon, because he opened his door just as slowly as she had, looking at her where she just stood about to knock.

She blinked at him. “Did you dye your hair?”

Harry was quiet for a few seconds. “What?”

She pointed to the top of her head. “There’s… You have some grey hairs there.-“

“-What?” Harry sprang out of his room and to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror there. He furrowed his brows as he studied it, plucking a few of them out. “What the fuck…”

Y/N just looked at him as he stood there in the bathroom, clearly having a bit of a mental breakdown. Though a few grey hairs at their age did not mean anything, that was not just a simple single grey hair. Those were quite a few of them. How had he not noticed them earlier that day? Or before? Had they been there before but they just hadn’t noticed?

“Just like mum,” he mumbled.

“Harry, having a few grey hairs-“

But the shock of the hair was suddenly put on hold as Harry walked back for her. He pulled her inside all the while mumbling something under his breath, probably cursing to himself as if he could not quite believe how long it had taken her to just bloody get here. She giggled, taking the time to look around Harry’s room as he closed and locked the door behind her. His walls were white and his carpeted floor grey, and though their beds were the same queen size, their rooms were actually quite different. Though Harry dressed in relatively dark clothing, his room was draped in very light colours. Where Y/N’s bed was placed horizontally and against the far wall and window, Harry’s was placed vertically, giving him small space to move around beside his bed. His desk was at the foot of his bed and a small dresser to the left of the door. Bedsheets of white, a knitted throw blanket and in a relaxing beige colour lazily draped over it, while the multiple pillows he had by the top of his bed were all either white, pink, or orange.

Though they were not allowed, Harry had also put stuff up on his wall. Most were drawings and sketches of houses or people, while he also had his dissertation outline hung over his desk and his timetable. Most notably was the bisexual flag hung over his bed, a small string of LED lights hanging along its edges to light it up properly. Other than that, the only light in Harry’s room was the lamp on his desk. He too seemed to detest the horrid white light of the ceiling lamp.

While she was in the middle of familiarising herself with Harry’s room, someplace she had never been before, she felt something creep up around her waist. Harry pulled her to him and she felt him groan into her neck, the vibrations of it shooting straight for her nipples and lower tummy. She felt his teeth against her skin, nibbling slightly before he started kissing his way up her neck, not leaving a single millimetre untouched. She closed her eyes, lips tugging upward into a smile as she melted into him, placing her hand on top of his where they rested on her stomach.

“What took you so fucking long?” he said, pressing his crotch against her arse.

“I was talking to Isla,” Y/N said, resting her head back against his shoulder as he started kissing down her shoulder.

“And that was more important than coming here and shagging me?”

She chuckled, but the laughter quickly died on her tongue as Harry’s hands came up to cup her tits, squeezing her through her shirt. The reaction was instant for the both of them; a sigh of relief leaving Y/N and a shaky breath from Harry’s mouth brushed past Y/N’s ear. It was then that she truly felt how deprived she was of him; how her entire body had been growling for him, starving until finally she was being fed again. She felt it all over herself, the tension that had been in her body from weeks of being busy with uni work, it all vaporised as the two of them pressed against one another, their bodies getting ready for what was to come.

Harry led them to his bed where he beckoned Y/N to lay down. She did, turning around on her back just as Harry was unbuttoning his loose short-sleeved shirt. He had gotten a new big tattoo on his shoulder; a red rose with a woman’s face in it. It was such a pleasant surprise to see more of his body tattooed up that it almost took her by surprise when Harry took her legs and spread them so he could fit more easily between her thighs. Suddenly he was on top of her and they were kissing, wasting absolutely no time in completely devouring each other.

She didn’t think she would ever get tired of kissing Harry. Despite having next to zero proper experience in bed, he was a decent kisser and often made her forget that they were only doing all of this because he wanted to get better sexually. Once he felt confident enough, they were going to pretend all of this had never happened. But as he bit onto her bottom lip and sucked lightly on a spot along her neck, their deal was not a part of Y/N’s thought process at all. In fact, she stopped thinking the second he put his lips on her body.

“How do you want me today?” he asked between kisses, his hand travelling under her top and cupping her tit, pinching her nipple slightly.

She moaned into his mouth. “Fuck me from behind.”

He opened his eyes slightly to look at her, but went back to kissing her almost instantly. “Fuckin’ hell, Y/N.”

“What?”

“The way you talk drives me bloody insane.”

She grinned just as Harry tugged at the hem of her shirt, asking her if it was okay for him to take it off. Instead of waiting for him to do it, Y/N reached down and ripped it off, leaving her chest bare to him. He let out a small whimpery sigh as his eyes landed on her boobs, staring at them as if he had not seen them before.

“But,” she started, making Harry meet her eyes. “I want you to improvise.”

He blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Try and do something I haven’t taught you.”

He thought for a second before he nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

She pulled him down to her then, kissing him again as she reached for his trousers, undoing the buttons and zipper so he could get them off. Anticipation and excitement filled Y/N from the tip of her head to the very edge of her toes. Though she loved being with Harry no matter what, the thought of him doing something to her that he had not before made something inside her tingle. She let her hands roam his body, taking in each one of his curves, the broadness of his shoulders, the swell of his bum. In that second, Y/N was sure that she could lay like that and kiss Harry for hours without needing to actually have sex. This was hot enough.

Harry suddenly got up and motioned for her to turn around to lay on her stomach. She did as he told her, looking over her shoulder at him as he got up from the bed to walk around to look at her from behind.

“On your knees.”

She bit her bottom lip, her centre aching with the need for him. Doing as she was told, Y/N got up onto her knees, resting her elbows on Harry’s bed still. She tried to keep her eyes on him, but he suddenly disappeared from view. Furrowing her brows, she was about to stand up to look about the room, but it was then that she felt it. Harry’s lips were on her right arsecheek, kissing along the edge of her knickers. With his left hand, he kneaded her other arsecheek, squeezing it and holding it in his hand until he suddenly let it slap against her. The sensation sent an immense wave of heat throughout Y/N’s body and she gasped, not having expected that from him.

“Was that okay?” he asked hurriedly. “Did it hurt?”

She smiled. “No, it didn’t hurt.”

“Did you like it?”

“Do it again.”

That must have been all it took, because Harry got down to work right away. He spanked her arse again, this time putting a little more force into it, and Y/N found herself moaning at the vibrations it sent through her. He kissed the spots where his hand had just landed, sucking lightly as he brought his other hand down on the other side of her bum. She gripped the bedsheets, arching her back as her core began to pulsate almost painfully with want.

“You look so fucking good like this,” he said, squeezing her buttocks. “Your arse up. All for me.”

She let out a breath, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Only thing that’s not as it should be now is that your cunt’s covered up.” He bent down again, planting a kiss to the back of her thigh, his nose gracing the wetness that pooled at her underwear. His breath on it made her bite her bottom lip from gasping, and it did not help when he brought his hand up, finger tracing the edge of her knickers until they came to rest at her wet core. “I want to bury my face between your beautiful thighs so fucking badly, Y/N, you have no idea.”

Without meaning to, she let a moan pass from between her lips as she felt Harry push a finger past the edge of her knickers. He slid it over her cunt, feeling her out, making her already aching core hurt even more with the need for his cock. Involuntarily, she moved into his touch, wanting to feel more of him; wanting him to just fucking penetrate her. But he just slid his finger over her, wanting to know that every single part of her was wet and ready for him.

“Fuck me,” she begged.

“You want that?”

“Yes.”

“You want me to fuck you from behind, baby?”

Baby. She nodded.

Quickly, he pulled her knickers off and got up to get a condom. She listened to him as he pulled it on and looked behind at him when he finally positioned himself behind her, one hand on his erection and the other on her arse. He slowly pushed himself into her, making Y/N gasp, her right hand flying up to rest at the wall in front of her as if to steady herself, the other one gripping the bedsheets tightly.

It was just then that the door beside Harry’s opened. Y/N’s heart stopped. The both of them stopped and looked in the direction of Harry’s door. Nathan could be heard whistling along to a song from The Book of Mormon, and Y/N hoped that he was listening to that exact song on his headphones in that moment. She hoped that he had not heard anything that had gone on inside Harry’s room just now. Surely those spanks had been loud enough to carry through walls.

Y/N and Harry looked at one another, silently agreeing to not make any more noise. At least not loud noise.

Once they were sure that Nathan was downstairs, Harry started moving, slowly at first but steadily bringing the speed up a bit. He gripped her hips and she moved into him, the two of them working together in order to create the best possible orgasm for the other. His hands on her dug into her skin, and though it kind of hurt, she did not care. She liked it when he cared more for their climax than if he was holding her alright, because ultimately she only wanted to orgasm. How she got there and how quickly she got there often came to be determined by how roughly he handled her. And she knew she liked it, but it seemed that Harry had started to as well.

“Try fucking me quickly, then a few slow and deep strokes, and then quickly again,” Y/N said, keeping her voice low. “Change the pace up.”

“Alright,” he panted.

Doing as she said, he kept up his pace for a few more seconds before he suddenly slowed down, moving into her with rolling hips like she had taught him. His strokes were deep and Y/N felt her eyes flutter shut, her nails scraping against the wall. He went back to fucking her at the same pace, but now that Y/N had made him aware of it, he changed up the pace and found new rhythms that fit him and them. She loved how he dared to explore when she encouraged him.

He pounded into her, not holding back on anything as the raw hunger of the two of them tipping over the edge together got him high. Y/N’s gentle sway of her hips met Harry’s halfway and she could hear him having a hard time breathing properly behind her. Just then, Harry found a pace that had the tingling sensation in Y/N’s core spark up, threatening to take over every single little piece of her.

“Harry,” she moaned. “Don’t fucking stop.”

He moaned her name back, his hand coming to give her arse a firm slap again.

“Keep doing that,” she said, voice breathless. “That’s it.”

He continued to do exactly what he had been doing when Y/N told him to not stop, and she could tell that he was struggling not to come first. Ever since their first proper time together, Y/N could tell that all Harry really wanted to do was make sure he had pleased her properly before he himself could climax. Though she wanted for him to come as well, she appreciated how much he cared about her experience as well. She continued to push into him as he pounded into her, trying not to make too much noise, but it was hard when it felt this fucking good. Because – oh, my life – did this feel good. Y/N had had good sex before, but this was something else. She had no idea what kind of effect Harry had on her, but she knew that she was undeniably, and maybe even a little embarrassingly, weak for him.

She felt her core heat up until suddenly everything inside her exploded. It was hard to keep silent as she orgasmed and she hoped she did an alright job, because she completely lost all sense of anything in those blissful seconds that Harry continued to pound into her to work her through her climax. He came almost instantly after her, not able to hold himself back any longer. His hips moving at a rhythm that was very unlike what he had done only seconds earlier.

The two of them stayed like that, only panting and smiling to themselves at the thought of everything they had just done. Y/N’s bum felt a little sore, but she quite enjoyed the feeling and knew that she would not be opposed to Harry doing exactly that again sometime.

“Doggy style,” Harry said, voice still breathless. “Check.”

Y/N laughed, looking over her shoulder as Harry pulled out of her, his dimples and eye crinkles on full display as they just glanced at one another. She felt something unfamiliar in the pit of her stomach just then, but thought that it was most likely just the effect of being pleasantly surprised by how kinky Harry could be if he really wanted and how this time the sex had actually been much better than that first time. Yeah. That was it. That was why the feeling felt so new.

She watched him pull his condom off and throw it away, and by the time she had put her knickers back on again, she had forgotten about what she had felt a few seconds earlier.

Monday, 22 October 2018

Zizzi was one of Y/N’s favourite restaurant chains. The food was always delicious, and the atmosphere was so cosy and warm she swore she could spend literal hours at any of their restaurants and not want to leave. Though she had never tasted true Italian pizza, she suspected it tasted close to what they served there and until she got to travel there, she would eat at Zizzi and pretend she was seated on a corner restaurant in Rome.

Y/N was sipping her Coke Zero as Thian texted away on his phone, both Annalise and Hayden watching him with keen eyes as they waited for him to tell them what the text said. The restaurant around them was rather empty. Well, as empty as any restaurant in One New Change in the middle of City of London could be on a Monday evening.

“She says they’re right around the corner,” Thian said, putting his phone away before he reached for his Fanta, taking a huge gulp before he focused back on his friends around him.

“’They’?” Annalise asked.

“That part had me halting a bit as well,” Thian said.

“It was just supposed to be the gang,” Hayden mumbled, frustration bubbling up in their otherwise calm and collected demeanour. Y/N didn’t think she had ever seen Hayden properly angry, they were always so level-headed. “It was just supposed to be the five of us.”

“Maybe it doesn’t mean anything,” Annalise chimed in, always choosing to see the best in everyone. “Maybe Thian read it wrong.”

“I literally study the English language; I would comprehend the difference between ‘I’ and ‘we’.”

“Still doesn’t mean you can read things wrong every once in a while,” Y/N said, earning Annalise a smile who seemed to have a hard time keeping her giggles in when Thian groaned and pulled his phone out again, admitting that he could’ve read all wrong.

“Nope,” he said, agitation evident in the way he forcefully shoved the phone back in his coat pocket. “Definitely says ‘we’.”

“How are we supposed to hang out as a gang, something we haven’t done just the five of us in ages, when her barmy boyfriend’s gonna tag along?” Hayden crossed their arms over their chest.

“Man’s mad as a bag of ferrets,” Thian sighed. “Y/N, you won’t believe what he did the other day when he came over-“

“-Thian, you’re so funny,” Annalise laughed, but her laugh was forced, eyes fixed on something just behind where Thian and Hayden were seated. Thian whipped around just in time to see Chloe and Graham walking up to their table, the biggest smile plastered on Chloe’s face as she waved at them with one hand, the other holding Graham’s. Her boyfriend scanned the room around them as he ran a hand through his short blonde hair, as if checking for people that would somehow recognise him. Chloe’s eyes fell to the single free chair right opposite Y/N, the one meant for her, and her smile faltered a bit.

“What about Graham?” she asked, looking around the table as she waited for answers.

“We thought it would only be the gang,” Thian answered earnestly, making Chloe stare at him blankly.

“I thought you knew Graham would come as well.”

Thian tilted his head to the side, seemingly not having blinked for a few minutes. “Is he part of our gang now?”

“You lot ready to order?” their waitress asked, smiling at all of them.

“Could we get an extra chair here, please?” Chloe asked.

“Of course!” The waitress ran off and appeared a few seconds later with a chair for Graham. “You know what you wanna eat, then?”

Though Chloe and Graham had just arrived, they took a look through the menu as everyone else around the table ordered their food. Y/N got a strozzapretti pesto rosso, a dish that, after many visits to the Zizzi restaurant near her in Nottingham, had become her favourite there. Chloe and Graham took their time ordering, but Y/N understood them not settling on one when they had just arrived, so she didn’t bother getting annoyed about it like Thian and Hayden were. Annalise and Y/N sat back in their chairs, waiting until the waitress was walking away to zone back into what was going on on their table.

Everyone stayed quiet for a few seconds, waiting for someone else to spark up the conversation, to mention something funny, to make everything less awkward. No one did. Y/N knew Thian and Hayden would be silent out of pure spite and Annalise didn’t feel comfortable talking around Graham anymore, so she guessed she was the one that had to do it.

“I was thinking about the concert in January last night,” she said, clearing her throat and glancing at everyone as she talked. “I genuinely cannot wait.”

“It would’ve been so much fun if we could’ve, like, made a thing out of it. Maybe gone outside of London,” Chloe said.

“It’ll be fun regardless,” Thian said. “The gang will go together and it’ll be a blast.”

“What’s happening in January?” Graham asked, very intentionally looking at only Chloe and Thian. After years and years of being a people pleaser, Y/N could read a person’s body language when meeting them. She especially knew when someone didn’t like her, which she had known Graham did, but it still sent a small jolt through her.

“We’re attending a concert,” Hayden answered.

“Oh, maybe Graham could come!” Chloe grinned, looking at everyone around the table before taking Graham’s hand, bringing it to her lap.

“Who’s playing?” he asked.

“The Hunna,” Y/N answered.

“Haven’t heard of them,” Graham answered, keeping his eyes on Y/N and then looking up at Chloe as she shifted closer to him. “Maybe I should just stay home.”

“Aw, but I want you to come, baby,” Chloe whined, and Y/N had to look over at Thian and Hayden to see if they were about to throw up.

With that sight in front of her, Y/N zoned out, not bothering to try and keep up now. Annalise would be silent for the rest of the dinner while both Thian and Hayden would make things awkward with their unfiltered comments, all the while Chloe and Graham would chatter amongst themselves, not bothering to spare much of a glance around the table.

Y/N couldn’t understand it, how you could be so infatuated with someone to the point where you completely shut out the rest of the world but them? She had been on a few dates, but never had she been smitten with someone like Chloe and Graham were. Sure, she had fancied people before, but those were only small crushes, nothing this major. Sometimes she couldn’t envision herself ever being in love with someone, the concept just seemed too big for her. At one point, after reading Wuthering Heights, she had been sure that love was nothing but strong obsession with someone, like something Heathcliff and Cathy had. Though part of her still thought that, she had also allowed herself to hope that love like that was real and she would feel it someday. Right now, though, Y/N was unsure.

Their food arrived not long after that and the table descended into quiet as everyone started eating. Not having eaten since lunch, Y/N was extremely hungry and felt like tipping the entire bowl of pasta down her throat in one go. Annalise made a noise beside her that made Y/N know her friend was definitely enjoying her food, and Thian put his hand over his heart, pledging his allegiance to Zizzi’s fantastic food. A little while later, they were back in conversation again, as if the frustration of before was completely forgotten.

“The funny thing about Kai,” Thian said. “Is that he is the type of man to chat about anything, he’ll give you a detailed description of his bedtime routine, but he won’t elaborate on his dates with Emma.”

“Emma’s lovely,” Annalise tried, not speaking as loud as she usually did and Y/N looked in Graham’s direction, telepathically asking him to just try and make fun of the way her friend talked.

“She is,” Chloe agreed. “I think what I love most about her and Kai is that she’s very quiet, but he’s, like, super loud. They cancel each other out.”

Y/N swallowed the last of her pasta putting her fork down on her plate. “She’s also good at making coffee while Kai can’t make any hot beverage for shit.”

Thian laughed. “Imagine him serving her anything! The man’s got a heart of pure gold, but he can be so dumb sometimes.”

“In a derogatory way?” Hayden asked.

“Complimentary.”

“Good, he doesn’t deserve slander.”

Thian chuckled at that, Hayden and him sharing a small high five as Thian put his cutlery on his plate, having finished his food as well.

“You finished that quickly.”

Graham, who had otherwise been silent for most of the meal, suddenly spoke up. It had everyone pausing for a second, looking in his direction to see what he was referring to. Y/N thought he might have made a sarcastic comment about Chloe and how she ate her food, something the two of them laughed about in their own time, an inside joke of sorts, but no, Graham was looking directly at Y/N. It was the first time they had shared a glance for more than two seconds, and Y/N could not say she had missed out on anything previously. Her heart felt like it stopped beating as it plummeted to the ground, being sucked into a black hole. Graham continued to hold Y/N’s gaze until his eyes fell to her plate. Y/N felt a chill take over her body as an enormous amount of shame started settling itself into her chest.

“So?” Thian said, clearly sensing that Y/N did not know what to say to Graham’s statement.

Graham shrugged. “Just considering how big of a plate that was.

It was the same size as everyone else’s. Y/N felt her palms get clammy as she balled her hands into fists. “Do you have a problem with me, Graham?”

“Y/N,” Chloe mumbled, giving her a look that told her to drop it.

The shame that had crept up on her evaporated like steam as a huge fire of rage built up inside Y/N. “What?” she said, looking straight into Chloe’s eyes as all those moments previously finally came together to fill Y/N’s anger. “First thing the bloke ever says to me is that I finished a meal quickly, as if that’s an appropriate thing to say to someone you don’t know.”

“But you did finish it quickly, Y/N,” Chloe said, earning a slight gasp from Annalise to Y/N’s right.

Y/N had to do her best not to cry right then and there. It was one thing to hear someone say something to her with an accusatory tone, as if she should know better and not eat so “quickly” even if she was hungry, because then Graham wouldn’t have said anything. As if Graham opening his mouth and coming with that unnecessary and frankly rude comment was Y/N’s fault.

“What the fuck, Chloe?” Annalise said and Y/N had never heard so much anger in her Dutch friend’s voice before.

Y/N and Chloe continued to just look at one another. The person in front of Y/N did not seem like the person she had gotten to know Fresher’s Week last year, it was not the person that had helped Y/N make friends, who had taken her under her wing and made that first semester amazing. It could not be the same person. It just could not. But then again, maybe Chloe had just thought this all along. Maybe she had always viewed Y/N in her bigger body – in her fat body – as lesser, inferior, and repulsive, but that side of her had not gotten through to the surface until Graham came into her life and helped it flourish.

How could Chloe defend this? How could she defend her boyfriend when he was so obviously being condescending just because of how Y/N looked? She had always been able to sniff out fatphobic bastards her entire life; even if their disgust for her body was blatant or internalised, but she had not caught onto Chloe right away like she had with Graham. No, Y/N would not cry about what had just been said, but she would probably cry because of the friendship that had just been tainted and ruined forever.

Y/N pulled her purse forth, pulling a few quid out of it and smacking it down on the wooden table in front of her. Then, she got up, pulled her coat on, and walked out of the restaurant. She could hear Thian, Hayden, and Annalise calling her name, but she did not turn around. That entire situation had been too humiliating, too frustrating, and she did not want to look back on Chloe and Graham where they sat at the table still, not feeling bad in the slightest for what they had said. They probably thought they were helping. They all thought they were bloody helping, as if anything anyone said hadn’t been said to her a hundred times before.

Y/N walked to the New Change / Cannon Street bus stop and waited for 10 minutes until the 76 bus came. She got onboard, scanned her Oyster card, and went to sit down, her hands still clammy and a bit shaky from what had just happened. It was impossible to not think about it, about what Chloe and Graham had both said, about how they did not look apologetic at all. They meant it with their whole chests.

On Finsbury Square, the bus stopped to let a few people on, the last one to get on being a 40-something year old woman who looked about the bus for a free seat. Naturally, the only free one was next to Y/N. As the bus started back on its route, Y/N could see that the woman tried to scan the bus again and again, but the only place she could sit was next to Y/N. She came over in the end, sitting down next to her and scooting so close that Y/N was pressed up hard against the wall of the bus. Reminding herself that she only had seven stops left, Y/N bit her lips together and tried not to notice how the lady beside her was wriggling, trying to get comfortable in her seat.

Y/N plucked her earbuds in and tried to forget about everything. She tried to think about something else, anything else. Her mind travelled to Harry. In just a few days they would travel to Princes Risborough together to visit Harry’s dad, finally they would get some time away from London. And after everything that had just happened, Y/N was very grateful for the getaway. She knew Harry was working tonight, Nathan was at dance rehearsals, and that Mason was out with friends, so she would be home alone when she got to Orsman Road. Though the prospect terrified her, she was happy no one would be there to ask her how the night had gone because Y/N would not be able to hold back.

As the Downham Road stop approached, Y/N leaned over to press the ‘stop’ button. The lady beside her pressed back against her seat and Y/N gave her a smile, about to ask her if she could pass so she could get off. However, the lady got up from her seat as quickly as possible, letting Y/N get up and pass her.

“Maybe you should think about walking home next time.”

The comment threw Y/N completely off guard and she whipped her head around in the woman’s direction, stunned by what she had just said. Though Y/N had been on the receiving end of numerous fatphobic remarks before, it had never happened so frequently or this much in one day. People usually just gave her looks, made her cower a bit, but this was something else entirely. The woman’s words along with what Graham and Chloe had said added to the pile of condescending comments she had received throughout her life, and Y/N was getting really bloody sick of other people feeling like they had to comment on her, her body, and her life just because they thought they could.

Her jaw clenched, and the second the doors opened, Y/N walked out and home. Her earbuds were in her ears but she couldn’t find it in herself to pull her phone out and listen to music. She walked home alone in complete silence, her brain trying to process loads and nothing at the same time.

She threw the door open and slammed it shut behind her, locking the door before she took her shoes and coat off, then walked up to her room and shut that door as well. Her eyes instinctively landed on herself in her mirror, jaw untensing.

The bulk of anti-fat attitudes that Y/N had faced throughout her life had all come at the hands of thin people who deeply believed they were doing right and doing good, emboldened by a culture that wholeheartedly agreed with them. And Y/N was tired. She was so tired of being told she was not enough or too much. Of being told she repulsive, monstrous, at the fucking bottom of the barrel in the societal hierarchy, and being considered bloody contagious. As if her fatness was a disease. A deadly disease.

Looking back on this moment, Y/N realised that the anger she felt in that very moment – both of the situations previously combined with everything society had put her through - was what had finally done it. She had always felt an intense shame for simply daring to exist in a body she had always inhabited, a body that was bigger than most of her friends’, and she was so used to – had been taught to – always hold herself, dress herself, and exist in a way that would make thin people comfortable. Wear black to appear anonymous; to appear thinner, never wear tight-fitted clothes, never eat when someone else wasn’t eating; always appear as small as her fat body allowed her to. She wasn’t aware of how fatphobic the world, the people, and her reality were until just that second. She had been so used to it that it had not occurred to her how much it had shaped her world, how wrong it was. How no one else of her friends experienced this. Her careful navigation of the world, trying to make those people around her less disgusted by her and trying to cover up most of her body, wasn’t a universal experience. It was hers. And it was because they weren’t fat.

They would never experience what it was like to have your thin friends say that they wanted to lose weight because they had put on an extra few kilos around their middle, but the friends were nowhere near as big as you were. Would never experience the looks you got when you walked past a group of young people who snickered as you simply walked by, would never experience someone making pig noises while strolling beside you or taking pictures or videos of you to send to their friends because you were fat and therefore it was okay to make fun of how you looked. Would never experience the humiliation, the shame in always being the butt of the joke because in their eyes, your body was your fault, so people making fun of you was on you, not on them as shitty human beings and their fatphobic ideals. They would never experience the shame Y/N just had, or how reluctant some of her friends were to stick up for her because deep down, they felt the same way Graham did. Y/N had done this to herself, if she just watched what she ate then this wouldn’t be a problem. She could lose weight and be like others. Be normal.

She felt a rage so hot, so raw that it threatened to set her on fire. It was rage at Graham, Chloe, every person who had made her younger self feel like she had to hide, and society. It was not anger at herself. No, Y/N would not be angry with herself any longer. How was any of this her fault when all she did was simply exist? If anything, her rage only made her want to defy everything and everyone even more. Next time when she met Graham, she would wear the most tight-fitted dress she owned and eat five plates of pasta. She would give him something to fucking comment on, make him so uncomfortable having her fat body around as she could muster. Who gave a fuck what other people wore? What she wore? Why was her body, her fat body, anyone’s concern but her own? What she ate, what she wore, where she sat, what she said, how she looked, was not an invitation for someone else to come with their unsolicited advice, joke about her appearance, be condescending towards her, or treat her as anything but a human fucking being. People would stare at her fat body no matter what, might as well give them something unforgettable to look at.

Saturday, 27 October 2018

“I forget how much I hate driving when I drive up to dad’s,” Harry said, keeping his eyes on the road in front of them as Don’t Leave Me Alone by Anne-Marie and David Guetta played on the radio.

Y/N, who had been drifting in and out of sleep since they left Hackney about an hour ago, furrowed her brows and looked in Harry’s direction. “You don’t like driving?”

“Not on the bloody M40, no,” he grumbled, putting his turning signal on to get off the motorway and onto A404 towards High Wycombe and Marlow. “Motorways are so boring.”

“If you put on your own music while driving, motorways aren’t so boring.”

“I wanted you to have the AUX, but then you fell asleep and I was driving so I didn’t bother.”

She smiled a little at that, stretching in her seat before she started paying proper attention to their surroundings. When they reached the roundabout, Harry got off on the road towards Aylesbury, honking at someone who was a little too close to his car upon exiting the roundabout. He continued up New Road, turning the volume down when Capital FM went on to a commercial break.

“We can listen to music,” Y/N said, reaching for Harry’s phone.

“What about from your phone?”

“It’s in my purse.”

“Your purse is right in front of you.”

“Can’t be arsed.”

Harry huffed, reaching over to unlock his phone with his thumb. It entered right on a text message conversation and Y/N did everything in her power to not look at who he was chatting to and about what. Without intending to, her eyes had landed on the ‘Dad’ at the top of the conversation, but other than that, she saw nothing. She clicked onto Harry’s Spotify, the first song that came on boobed through the speakers and Y/N smiled up at Harry as COPYCAT by Billie Eilish started playing.

“Skip it,” Harry said.

Y/N gasped. “Why? Billie’s a proper ledge.”

“Not even you saying that in your Notts dialect can make me want to listen to it,” Harry said and Y/N felt her face heat up. “Just been listening to it a lot lately.”

Y/N skipped it just because Harry wanted to, this time Don’t Want You by Ella Mei came on and he only shook his head. “What’s wrong with this one? Ella’s amazing, especially her Time EP.”

“I meant to delete it from my playlist ‘cause I’ve listened to it a little too much, you know?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but skipped. The only thing that was played before Harry nodded his head were the guitar at the beginning. Harry grinned and nodded his head, he wanted to listen to this one. Y/N’s heart skipped a little beat.

“Leve,” she said.

“Yeah, by Mahmundi.”

The artist Y/N had played when Harry had tagged along when she drove around working. The fact he had added it to his playlist made something inside her melt. Harry liking the song so much that he added it to his playlist despite not knowing what was being sung was so cute. She sat back into her chair as the Mahmundi started singing.

“Okay,” Harry said, licking his lips as he drove onto a smaller road. “Let’s make a bet.”

Y/N glanced over at him. “Oh?”

“How much do you wanna bet that we’ll have sex tonight when we sleep in the same bed?”

She laughed, putting Harry’s phone away as the both of them chuckled. Thinking about it, Y/N was rather certain that it would happen. They had never slept in the same bed before, she didn’t know what to expect, but she was sure that at some point, they would touch and one thing would probably lead to another. It wasn’t that they couldn’t do it, they most certainly could if they just wanted to, but she wasn’t sure either of them would be able to resist if it happened.

“I bet 10 quid that we will,” Y/N said, shrugging her shoulders.

Harry grinned. “Alright, I bet we won’t. 10 pounds.”

“You really think we won’t?” she asked.

“If willpower is on our side.”

She chuckled just as Harry turned onto a gravel road, the car vibrating with the terrain they were driving on. Green fields reached out as far as the eye could see as they drove up a small hill, making it easy to see the town of Princes Risborough not far away and the motorway they had gotten off not long ago. As they reached the top of the hill, an estate revealed itself to them. Grey stones making out a massive house along with a barn and a few smaller houses to match it. The black gate read ‘Maccabee Dog Shelter’ and the small car park in front of the house was void of cars help for three, one of which Y/N assumed to be Harry’s dad’s and his stepmum’s.

Harry sighed as he drove through the front gate, parking just beside the main house which had to be Alfred’s – Harry’s father’s – house. He cut the engine and looked over at the house, his jaw working as if he had to work up some kind of courage to simply open the door and walk outside. Y/N reached over, taking Harry’s hand in hers. The simple gesture made Harry’s eyes land on her, eyes scanning her face before he glanced at their hands entwined on the gear stick between them.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, Harry smiled a little at that. “It’ll be alright.”

A figure came walking towards the car, having just been in the barn, and Y/N quickly recognised Alfred Styles. He waved at them, a beam on his face as he approached the car. Harry let out a breath before meeting Y/N’s eyes again, nodding at her before he let go of her hand and took his seatbelt off. She did the same.

“Ah!” Harry’s father exclaimed as Harry and Y/N climbed out of the car. He walked on over to them in green rain boots that reached all the way up to his knees and a black raincoat over, clearly anticipating rain sometime soon. Or it might just be what he wore around the dog shelter seeing as there was quite a bit of mud around.

“Hiya, dad,” Harry said as he met Alfred halfway, Alfred throwing his arms around Harry and patting his back for the few seconds the two of them embraced.

“You look different,” Alfred remarked, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder as he studied his son’s face.

“Yeah, uhm…” Harry dragged a hand through his growing hair and Alfred’s eyes landed on the brown locks. “I think I’m inheriting this thing from mum. It’s not more than a few strands yet, but I tried pulling them out, but-“

“-She always used to say that was her angel stripe,” Alfred noted, smiling at the spot on the right side of Harry’s head. “A bit of silver left from where an angel graced you. Maybe you have a hard time ahead of you and your guardian angel wanted to let you know he’s there.”

Harry smiled at his father, and Y/N could tell that he didn’t really believe what he was saying, that this was all about genetics and not about an angel’s touch. Y/N remembered both of Harry’s parents acting like this, believing in spirituality and higher powers, while Harry had somehow not ended up like them. At one point, she remembered Harry saying that his grandmother had been the one to keep him from giving in to his parent’s beliefs. Instead, he just believed in the goodness of humans. And science, of course.

“Dad,” Harry said, turning around to look at Y/N who was still lingering by the door. “This is Y/N, she-“

“-Oh, I remember you!” Alfred grinned, walking over and stealing a hug from Y/N as well. “We met back in Nottingham, did we not?”

“We did,” Y/N smiled as they pulled away from one another. “It’s so lovely to meet you again, Mr Styles.”

“Alfred,” he corrected. “And you too, Y/N. I bet it was a long drive up here.”

“Took us about one hour and 15,” Harry said.

“Regardless, Eva’s made some dinner for you,” Alfred explained, and Y/N looked over at Harry to gauge his reaction, but her friend merely looked at his father. “She was so excited for you to come.”

Though Alfred looked between Y/N and Harry, she could tell that he meant she had been excited about Harry coming. And by excited, he meant she had been anxious out of her mind to make everything perfect and would probably beat herself up if something did not go according to plan. At least, it would’ve been something like that according to how Harry had described his and Eva’s relationship.

“I’ll show you to your bedrooms,” Alfred said.

“We can share a room,” Harry noted, making Alfred halt as he was about to turn around, raising his eyebrows just an inkling. “Carry a mattress to my room and I’ll take the floor, Y/N can take the bed.”

“Hey,” Y/N complained. “I’ll take the mattress, you take your own bed-“

“-It’s only polite that I take the mattress and you the bed.”

“You lot, you can just sleep in separate rooms and this problem would not exist,” Alfred said.

“We’ll think about it, then,” Harry said, opening the booth to take his and Y/N’s bags out. “Y/N doesn’t like dogs so I just want to make sure she feels safe.”

“Harry,” Y/N hissed under her breath. Not by any means did she want Alfred to know that she did not particularly like dogs, especially not when he loved dogs as much as he did. He owned a dog shelter, for fuck’s sake.

But Alfred only laughed. “Then I understand why she would want someone beside her at night when she’s supposed to sleep surrounded by them.”

“Is Julie and Billy in?” Harry asked, putting Y/N’s bag over his shoulder.

“Yes,” Alfred answered, looking to Y/N suddenly. “Those are our dogs, but if you don’t want them around, I can put them in another room.”

“Oh, no,” Y/N said, though she felt a slight panic rise up inside her at the thought of being so close to not one, but two dogs. Then again, the barks from the fenced areas outside as well as the barn not too far off reminded her that she was in fact surrounded by more than just two dogs. These two had to be well trained if they belonged to the owners of the shelter. “That’s fine, honestly.”

“They’re not scary. Billy can be a bit much, but I’ll make him go easy on you,” Harry smiled. “Do you not want them to touch you?”

“As long as they don’t jump up on me in greeting or bite me.”

“They won’t,” Alfred said as he put a reassuring hand on Y/N’s shoulder, giving her a smile. “I’ll keep Billy back from doing so.”

Y/N smiled back at him.

“Come on,” Alfred said, showing the way towards the main house, the dogs around them in the fences still barking at one another and at the new arrivals. Instinctively, Y/N drew a little closer to Harry, the sounds of the constant barking setting her on edge. Harry must have sensed this and took a small step toward her, letting their arms brush as they walked up the house. Maccabee Dog Shelter stood in black, elegant letters across the front of a smaller house to the left of the big one, and on the black door, it said in white letters ‘reception’. The bigger house had to be Alfred and Eva’s then.

“Dad designed this house,” Harry told Y/N as they walked up to the front door, the grey stone of the farmhouse. “It’s his and Eva’s dream home.”

“You two aren’t covered in dog hair,” Alfred said, opening the front door. “So you can just proceed to the next room.”

His laughter reminded Y/N of Harry’s, it always had. The corners of his eyes would crinkle and he would smile that wide smile of his, though Harry’s dimples had come from Flora.

The room right in front of them was small. On the wall to the left were hangers where numerous jackets and work trousers with knee pads, on the right stood a few shelves with combs, many lint rollers, and everything else one might need working out on their farm. It was probably so they wouldn’t have to bring all the dirt and the hairs all the dogs staying with them at the moment shed, into their clean home. Harry walked first and opened the door for the two of them, stepping inside with their bags and putting them on the floor of the foyer.

Immediately as you walked inside, there was a small staircase to the left that led up to a small loft office of sorts, but right ahead , along the tall white wall, there was a small round glass table with four chairs around it, an elegant bouquet of flowers positioned neatly on top of it along with an air diffuser. The rug on the floor seemed almost too expensive and Y/N was afraid to even breathe in case she somehow ruined something.

She felt something on her shoulders, and looking behind her, she saw Harry trying to pull her jacket off for her. The gesture was so domestic, so effortless, that it took her a few seconds to realise what was going on. Harry simply gave her a small smile and pulled her jacket off her shoulders, hanging it on the hanger beside them where his jacket was. She took her shoes off, placing them carefully next to Harry’s, and was about to reach for her bag, but Harry already had it slung across his shoulder.

The wall to the right overlooked the property, the fenced in portion of their massive estate where dogs could run around and play with one another, something they were right in that second. Y/N was very happy they were inside.

“In here,” Alfred said, having taken his outdoors clothes off and now walked past them to show the way. It wasn’t as if his son didn’t know the way, but Y/N thought Alfred might just want to make sure Y/N felt welcome as well.

The double doors that Alfred opened led to a magnificent dining area with a relatively low ceiling, chairs made out of lush purple cushions stood around the massive wooden table that was prepped and ready for dinner. The food stood on the table, and the immediate smell of fish crept up into Y/N’s nose. The table was made for four people, two on each side, and Y/N suddenly wondered how awkward it had to be when only Harry came up to Princes Risborough when the three of them had to sit at a table that big. A chandelier hung over the table, lighting up the entire room along with some lamps by the wall and candles lit up along the table.

“Alfie?” came from the open doorway to the left of the dining area, which, by the small look she got of it, had to be the kitchen.

Y/N suddenly heard some tapping against the wooden floor of the kitchen and within seconds, two dogs were rushing out at them. She felt herself take a few steps back, her palms getting clammy and heart racing dangerously fast. Harry immediately put both of the bags in front of her and took a protective step so he stood before her, making both the dogs come to him. Not that he even had to do that, they were on him in seconds regardless.

A smaller black one and a bigger one with black and white spots both jumped up on Harry, demanding his attention and to be cuddled. Harry bent down and petted them both, laughing a little as the smaller one jumped up on his knee and started licking at his cheek.

“I think they knew you were coming home today, might’ve sensed the anticipation in the air,” Alfred explained.

“Just keep them a bit away from Y/N, dad.”

“Of course!” Alfred said, walking forth and making both of the dogs calm down. What he said or did, Y/N did not know, all she cared about was that they weren’t jumping around and demanding everyone’s attention anymore like they had been only seconds before. Both the dogs now looked at Y/N, their tails wagging, and the bigger one almost tripping a bit on the spot in its eagerness to check out the new guest that had come into their house.

“You okay with petting them?” Harry asked.

“Will they jump up on me?”

“No, not when dad’s made it clear that they gotta stay,” he explained, hunching down beside the dogs.

Slowly, Y/N walked over, keeping her attention on the dogs and trusting that Harry and Alfred had the dogs under control. The fact that she was about to willingly touch a dog made her want to hurl. Never had she thought that she would find herself in Buckinghamshire out of free will, and definitely not on a farmhouse – a dog shelter, nevertheless – and be surrounded by dogs. This was her worst nightmare. However, she knew that these dogs had to mean a lot to Harry seeing as how happy they were that he was there, but though they scared Y/N, she didn’t want to disappoint him. So, she bent towards the black and smaller one first, hoping that Harry didn’t notice how her hand shook slightly as she reached for it.

“Can you hold its collar?”

“Of course,” Harry said, putting his middle and index finger inside the dog’s collar. Slowly, Y/N bent forward and placed her hand on top of the dog’s head, petting it only slightly. The dog whined, clearly wanting for Y/N to pet it even more.

“Good,” Harry said, smiling up at her. “That’s good.”

Y/N let out a shaky breath.

“This is Julie,” Harry explained. “She’s a Scottish Terrier. Very careful, always in the mood to cuddle, and would rather you just lay down on the floor with her and chill than play.”

Y/N nodded.

“And this,” Alfred began, holding onto the other dog’s collar as Y/N turned to that one, knowing that Harry would keep Julie from jumping on her the second she took her eyes off her. “This is Billy, a Portuguese Water Dog.”

Y/N smiled a little. Maybe Billy would understand her if she talked to him in Portuguese, she immediately thought.

“He’s the playful one. He’ll run and play until he falls over and sleeps for 20 hours straight.”

Y/N smiled at Alfred who smiled back. She was a little more confident now, reaching forward with a bit more of a steady hand to pet Billy by the side of his curly neck, a big smile on the dog’s face the entire time. Billy suddenly did a little jump, and though Alfred was holding him in place, it still took Y/N off guard and she quickly pulled her hand back and stood up.

“They’re nice,” Harry told her. “But I’ll keep them away from you if you don’t want anything to do with them.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said, looking from Harry to Alfred, giving them both what she hoped were thankful smiles. That’s when she suddenly noticed something in the doorway to the kitchen.

A tall and bigger woman stood in her apron by the kitchen, watching everything in the dining area unfold with a curious gleam on her face. Her short, wavy brown hair reached her shoulders, and her round face looked so good, so genuinely kind, that Y/N felt like walking over and giving her a hug. Seeing their similar body types made Y/N instantly relax. Not that she hadn’t been relaxed before, she knew both Harry and Alfred, but something about having someone that looked like you around you made it easier to just calm down.

Harry stood up from his place on the floor, and followed Y/N’s gaze until it landed on Eva in the kitchen doorway. He halted a bit, visibly tensing, but Y/N supposed that only she would notice that. Eva couldn’t know him well enough to recognise the signs of discomfort.

“Harry,” she smiled, walking over to him and hugging him tightly. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“And you,” Harry said. “It smells amazing, what’d you make?”

“Smoked haddock and jersey royal stew, naturally,” Eva said, grinning up at Harry as they pulled apart. “I remember making it for you that first time we met, and I thought it would fit nicely that I made it now that I’m meeting your friend as well.”

Harry smiled at that, nodding his head awkwardly before he took a step to the side, letting Eva and Y/N size each other up.

“Eva, this is my best mate, Y/N.”

Something exploded inside Y/N’s chest and instead of looking at Eva, she came to look at Harry. She… She was his best friend? She had always considered Harry to be one of her best friends, someone she could always be herself with, but she didn’t know she was the best friend to him.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Eva grinned walking over towards Y/N with her arms wide to give her a hug. “Hope the dogs haven’t been too terrifying.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Y/N chuckled as they pulled away from one another, she looked down at the two dogs that circled around Harry, occasionally scratching their paws against his calf or whining for him to pay attention to him. “Harry and Alfred have kept them off me.”

“Glad to hear it,” Eva smiled, looking over at Harry who kept his attention on the dogs. Silence settled in the room among them and Y/N could clearly tell that Eva wanted to say something, to make Harry more comfortable. She wanted to treat him like a son, but didn’t know how. Not having had children herself, this had to be hard for Eva, Y/N imagined

“Well,” Alfred finally said. “Let’s eat, shall we?”

“I’ll show you around the house afterwards,” Harry said to Y/N.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

The four of them sat down by the kitchen table, hungry and ready to finally eat something. Dinner was filled with occasional conversation and awkward silences. Eva and Alfred stood for most of the talking, and Y/N tried not to let the conversations die by asking questions and trying to talk about things that would interest all of them. However, Harry mostly stayed quiet, only sometimes joining in, but other than that, it was up to Y/N, Eva, and Alfred to keep the tension in the room from getting too thick. It annoyed Y/N how little Harry tried, that everyone but him, the person they had most anticipated coming here, were talking, and he was left just sometimes talking. Then again, she supposed she wouldn’t know how hard it was to watch your parents, no matter how many years had passed, be with someone else. He had told her how he tried to like Eva, to make his visits less awkward, but it didn’t seem like he had it in himself to even do that today.

At one point, Eva referred to Y/N and Harry as a couple, something that had both of them jump up with “No, we’re just friends,” “I just wanted someone to tag along on the car ride.” Though it was unintentional and Eva had clearly just mistook whatever was going on, it made things even more awkward. Y/N truly pitied Eva who was only trying to do her best.

After dinner and helping Alfred load everything into the dishwasher, Harry took Y/N on a walk through the house, carrying both of their overnight bags on his shoulder. Compared to most houses she had been in, this one was the biggest one by far. It was designed so it would fit Eva and Alfred’s needs, as well as small rooms and things for Billy and Julie. The two dogs followed Harry and Y/N around, eager to see what the two were up to, and Harry often pulled them away from Y/N if they got too close or if they made her uncomfortable. Sometimes, she didn’t even notice one of the dogs being there, but he still bent down and shooed them away, making them leave her alone.

“And this,” Harry said finally, opening the final door along the first-floor corridor. “Is my room.”

It was big, much bigger than the living room and kitchen in Orsman Road combined. With a king sized bed, a windowsill made entirely out of cushions, a massive desk, and his own bathroom with both a bathtub and a shower. This was a kind of luxury Y/N had only ever dreamed of. Not that her family wasn’t well off, but this was a kind of house that required money. One wall was painted a light beige colour while the others were white, and the two colours appeared in most of the other furniture of his room. It seemed stylish and effortless, yet it had clearly been put a lot of thought into everything about this room.

“Did you design it yourself?” she asked.

“No, I wish,” Harry huffed. “It was all dad. The entire house.”

Y/N walked over to the window; the countryside that would normally be displayed here was drenched in the darkness that night-time provided. She reckoned that exact spot would be an amazing place to read in, maybe if they had some time in the morning, she could sit down there and read.

Harry yawned behind her, and when she turned around, she saw him rubbing at his eyes, sleep clearly demanding that he just lay down in his bed for the rest of the evening.

“Sleepy?”

“Yeah,” he answered, sighing. “But it’s only 8pm, and I’m sure Eva’s making some tea.”

“Harry!” Eva shouted from downstairs. “Y/N! Tea is served, darlings!”

The two of them giggled at the timing, but walked on downstairs to join the two elders for some tea before bed. Y/N spent most of the time downstairs in the living room asking about the farmhouse and Maccabee, how it had come to be and what made them build this new house. Eva, it appeared, had inherited Maccabee after her mother died, and hadn’t settled down properly with anyone in her life until she met Alfred. He was hired in to come up with a new Maccabee and house for Eva, but the two had fallen in love and Alfred had ended up building a house for them and given up his job as an architect to work full-time at Maccabee with Eva. Though he had always dreamed of being an architect, this life suited him much better, and he didn’t miss his old life at all. Y/N could feel Harry tensing beside her at that.

Both of the students had trouble keeping their eyes open as the clock reached 10pm. The two therefore dismissed themselves and bid their goodnights before walking up to Harry’s room to go to bed. Harry had to sit down on the floor and kiss both Julie and Billy goodnight, but Y/N just walked upstairs, thinking that she could change into her pyjamas before Harry came into the room. He had seen her naked before, but it was something else to just be casually naked like that in front of someone when you changed in and out of clothes. It was a different kind of intimate that Y/N had never experienced with anyone before.

She pulled her hoodie over her head and quickly took her bralette off before pulling her peony print pyjama top out of her bag. She was in the process of buttoning it up when Harry entered the room.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, looking away. “I should’ve asked if you were okay with me entering, I’m so sorry-“

“-No, I should’ve made it clear I was changing. I’m sorry.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head a little. “I’ll turn around.”

Y/N bit her bottom lip and finished buttoning her top before she pulled her black tights off, replacing them with a matching set of pyjama shorts bottoms. The peony print was multi coloured on top of white background, and Y/N thought they might be the brightest pieces of clothing she owned.

“You’re good,” Y/N said as she got her glasses, toothbrush and toothpaste out, walking over to Harry’s bathroom to get properly ready for the night. She took her contacts out as she heard Harry move around inside his room, changing out of his clothes and getting ready for sleep. While brushing her teeth she looked around the big bathroom, thinking that their bathroom down in London was smaller than this. The fact made her laugh a little.

Harry came into the bathroom in only his boxers and the tee shirt he had worn all day, eyes immediately falling on his own reflection in the massive mirror above the sink. He took the few grey hairs to the right of his head between his fingers, studying them for a few seconds before he pulled his toothbrush out of the cup that stood on the counter.

“I think it looks good,” Y/N said after she spat her toothpaste and rinsed her toothbrush.

“You do?”

“You don’t?”

Harry scrunched up his nose as he put some toothpaste on his brush. “Haven’t figured it out yet.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Trust me, it’s hot.”

Harry looked after her as she walked back into the bathroom, stuttering a little before he sighed and started brushing away. Y/N brought the book she was currently reading to bed and got under the covers to read a chapter or two. So far, she was loving The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. Harry came back just a few minutes later, dragging his hands through his hair and sighing to himself as he walked about turning all the lights out. Y/N remained curled up by the lamp on her nightstand, pushing her glasses further up her nose when they slipped down and turning a page just as Harry scrambled into bed beside her.

“You reading some gothic novel that was released 180 years ago?” Harry asked, putting his phone on the nightstand beside him.

“No, I’m reading a space opera.”

That got him to halt for a single second before a small, “Oh,” passed his lips, as if he understood exactly what Y/N was talking about when she knew he did not. “What’s it about?”

She smiled, looking over her shoulder at him. He was turned on his side facing her, watching her back intently as she read. “It’s about Rosemary who joins a spaceship crew and the crew’s just been offered the deal of a lifetime.”

“Oh,” Harry said again. “Sounds wicked.”

Y/N’s smile widened and she put her bookmark in before she closed the book and put it away. Turning the light off, she turned over to face at Harry. “You don’t have to ask me questions about the book I’m reading if you’re not interested.”

“But I am interested.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “You are?”

“Yes, ‘cause it interests you, so it interests me.”

Y/N felt something in her stomach tingle. “Well… that’s nice.”

Harry chuckled a little at that, turning onto his back so his eyes fell on the white ceiling above them. His smile slowly fell from his face until a rather serious expression took over, a small crease forming between his dark brows.

“Noticed something was off earlier,” Y/N said, and Harry’s eyes fell down onto the window at the foot of his bed instead. “What’s bothering you?”

“It’s just…” Harry sighed. “No, I won’t rant about it.”

“You need to get it off your chest, Harry,” Y/N urged, fighting the urge to reach over and take his hand. “You’ll feel better afterwards.”

There was a small pause before he opened his mouth again. “I just… Sometimes I can’t find it in myself to try.”

Y/N furrowed her brows.

“I’ve tried to act like I like Eva and dad together for so long, but sometimes I can’t do it.” A small pause; Harry fiddled with the fabric of the massive duvet they shared. “Which is so fucking infuriating ‘cause I should like her. I know I would’ve loved her if she hadn’t been dad’s girlfriend, which makes me so… so angry with myself.”

“Harry, don’t-“

“-I keep telling myself that all I want is to see my parents happy, even if that means they find someone else, but how can I even say that when I know, deep down, that something inside me won’t allow it? I feel like a bloody child.”

“This wasn’t part of how you imagined your future to look like when you were younger. This was supposed to be impossible ‘cause you were a trio, your perfect family, and suddenly that was taken away from you.”

Harry looked at her.

“But something changed, and here you are.”

He nodded. “Part of me still thinks they’ll end up together again, that this is just something I’ll have to endure until they see the light again.”

Y/N stayed quiet.

“But… But another part of me, the one I want to take over and kill that other part, is trying to tell me that it won’t happen. This is my life now, I need to be happy if my parents are.”

Y/N nodded.

“Dad, Eva, mum… they don’t deserve my anger.”

She smiled. “You’re one step closer to accepting this by simply acknowledging that how you’re behaving is wrong. Not that how you’re feeling in this moment is wrong, everyone needs time to process their parents divorcing and them moving on, but when it’s been years and they’re happy, I think it’s great that you’re realising you should be happy, too.”

Harry just looked at her.

She laid on her back, sighing. “I shouldn’t say anything, I’m sorry. My parents haven’t divorced so I shouldn’t-“

Harry was suddenly right above her, and before she could finish her sentence, his lips stopped her. The kiss was forceful, as if he were trying to cram everything he was feeling in that very moment into that simple action. It took her off guard, but she reached up, resting her hand against his cheek as the kiss deepened. The house was quiet, she didn’t think she had ever been somewhere this quiet before, she hadn’t noticed until now. Every single movement could be heard in their room, every rustle of sheets, every breath. It only made her focus even more on Harry on top of her, made her feel more of him; of them together.

Harry whispered her name against her lips and she instantly put both of her hands on him, letting them linger at the nape of his neck. The kisses grew wetter, sloppier, needier, and the two started grabbing at each other, not getting enough. Harry’s hand travelled down her side until it reached the hem of her pyjama top, his fingers dancing along the skin just beside her navel. Her breath hitched somewhere in her throat as she realised what Harry was thinking. She wasn’t opposed at all, she would very much like to have sex with him, but she also knew that a big reason why Harry wanted to have sex now was to forget about everything going on. But if she could help him forget about everything, make him focus on something else entirely, then she would do it.

She let her hand slide down his torso until it reached his boxer. Slowly, she pushed her hand into it. Harry gasped into her mouth at the feeling of her fingers on his erecting cock. It was always so easy to turn Harry on, he was always so eager to get on with it, and she assumed that his prick was as impatient as he himself was. She stroked her hand over him, feeling his stomach muscles tighten with the good kind of tension that sex provided. His hips moved into her hand, needy for more friction. She complied, small whimpers and sounds of pleasure erupting from his mouth as she touched him more. Just hearing him mumble her name, moan, or say “yes,” at what she was doing repeatedly made the inside of her thighs hot and her centre ache. Hearing someone’s sounds during sex, knowing she was the one making them audibly agree or not able to help themselves, did things to Y/N that she couldn’t quite explain.

“Your hand feels so fucking good,” Harry mumbled into her mouth, reaching down and helping her take her pyjama shorts off. She threw them away before wrapping an arm around him, the other one sliding along the outside of his boxers.

“You’re so hard,” she moaned, biting at her bottom lip.

“Thank yourself for that.”

She giggled, pushing at his chest to indicate that she wanted him on his back. Harry did as she asked, but got out of bed rather quickly and rummaged through his bag before he came back and laid down where he had been only seconds earlier. Y/N watched as Harry took his boxers off as she took her knickers off as well, and as he put the condom on, he glanced over at her, panting still with everything that had just gone down.

She got up and straddled his lap, bending down to kiss him again. Harry’s hands instantly landed on her arse, dragging her hips over him. He groaned into the kiss, one hand coming to rest at her cheek.

“I’m so wet for you,” she mumbled against him.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Harry hissed, looking down at her cunt where it was pressed against his erection. “When will you let me taste you?”

“When you deserve it.”

Harry whimpered under her and Y/N sat up, taking a light grip of Harry’s cock and dragging it along her wetness. Harry’s lips parted as he looked at the spot where they met, his hands gripping her thighs hard as the anticipation of finally feeling her around him clouded all and everything else. Slowly, Y/N sat down on him, and Harry’s eyes sunk into the back of his skull before he closed his eyes, a deep moan leaving his lips.

Compared to that last time they fucked; this was much slower. She leaned back and used his thighs as leverage to move up and down, knowing that men often found this motion more pleasurable than the back and forth one that women tended to prefer. Harry liked this as well, not able to take his eyes off her that entire time.

“Oh, my fucking God,” he’d hiss, digging his nails into her thighs.

At one point, Y/N unbuttoned most of her shirt, revealing her breasts to Harry. He couldn’t help himself and touched her tits while she moved over him, sitting up to wrap one arm around her and the other was on her bum, all while he left kisses along her collarbone and breasts. They moved together, the only light being from the lamps out in the garden and the slight slit from under the bedroom door. Y/N didn’t think she’d ever had sex like this when they barely spoke, when the only kind of communication needed was the sounds the other person made. It felt almost intimate that they didn’t need to constantly be talking dirty or learning about sex together. This was purely to make Harry think about other things, and by the looks of it, he was.

He looked up at her above him, helping her move, encouraging her, sometimes pushing her glasses up her nose, which made both of them giggle. She rested her hands on Harry’s chest in the end, moving up and down over him to make him come first. However, Harry wouldn’t have it and reached between them, rubbing her clit exactly like she had shown him how. Though Harry came first, Y/N came not long after. They both tried to keep as quiet as possible, not wanting any of the staff that were still working at Maccabee or Alfred and Eva to hear them. It proved harder than they realised, though, but it was good practice for all those other times when they would probably be fucking in their flat when both Nathan and Mason were home.

Y/N remained on top of Harry panting afterward, resting her hands at his navel as she regained her breath. Harry was just as out of breath under her, smiling up at her when their eyes met. Her skin felt raw around her chest and tits from all the kisses, sucking, and nibbles Harry had left there.

She grinned. “You owe me 10 quid.”

Harry chuckled. “You minx. You knew this would happen. I can’t fucking resist you, you know that.”

Y/N laughed.

“You’re playing on my weaknesses.”

She cocked her head at him. “I’m one of your weaknesses, huh?”

“Of course.”

What had started out as a joke on her end, turned into something else entirely. The earnestness in which Harry answered that question made her think he wholeheartedly meant what he had just said.

“Also,” Harry said, holding a finger up as he traced his finger down from Y/N’s collarbone and down to her belly button. A chill ran up her spine. “I don’t owe you a tenner, ‘cause I knew it would happen inevitably.”

Y/N thought back to Harry having brought condoms, how prepared he had been. She huffed. “You didn’t say that out loud.”

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to help myself if we started anything, especially if we were going to share a bed.” He shrugged his shoulders, letting his hand fall to her thighs again where his nails had left marks from earlier. “I was doomed from the get-go.”

She chuckled a little, looking at Harry’s chest and his dragon tattoos there. She loved how the red tattoo just fit on him, it suited his pink skin so well. Maybe he would get more red tattoos. Y/N really hoped so.

“I’ll buy you 10 quid worth of Squashies,” he finally said and Y/N met his eyes again, ignoring the feeling of something warm inside her chest.

“Deal.”

When Y/N woke up the next morning, Harry wasn’t there. She reached for her glasses on the nightstand and sat up in bed, looking around the room. The light from the open window shone in on Harry’s room, and Y/N could not help but think of what a perfect place that window ledge was for reading. She hoped to one day be able to sit there and have all the time in the world to just read and stare out over the landscape beyond. It was a wonder how she hadn’t woken up before this, especially considering how bright everything was and that barking dogs could be heard in the distance.

She got out of bed and put the clothes she had worn the day before on before she walked to the bathroom to pee and put her contacts back in. When she walked down the corridor, she could hear voices coming from downstairs, recognising the deepest one to be Harry’s right away. She was a little offended that he hadn’t stayed in bed until she was awake, but she’d let it slide. It wasn’t as if he was obliged to.

Harry, Alfred, and Eva were all sat in the winter garden just beside the kitchen with a mug of coffee each, chatting calmly as the sun climbed up on the sky behind them. Alfred had some dirt in his forehead as if he had just been outside working and Eva was wearing clothes that made it seem like she was ready to head out and work as well, while Harry sat beside his father in the same clothes he had arrived in the day before.

“Morning!” Alfred sang at the sight of Y/N. Julie and Billy both sprang to life at the sudden outburst and came running for Y/N, tails wagging and tongues hanging out of their mouths as they smiled. Y/N took a few steps back, and before she knew it, someone had taken the dogs by the collar.

“So sorry about that, sweetheart,” Eva said. “They’re a bit eager.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” Y/N chuckled, looking over at Eva.

“You want some coffee, dear?” she smiled.

“That’d be lovely, thank you.”

Alfred got up from his seat and walked into the kitchen, past Harry who was for some reason standing. Y/N furrowed her brows at first, having seen Harry sitting only seconds earlier, but by the way he was glancing at the dogs, she assumed he had been on his way to reach for them to prevent them from reaching her, only Eva had gotten there first. His eyes met Y/N’s and he gave her a smile before sitting down, patting the spot next to him on the cushioned bench where his father had just been sitting.

“Sorry I didn’t stay upstairs until you woke up. Billy somehow got into my room and I had to get him out, but he kept opening the door when I closed it.”

Y/N blinked at Harry as she sat down next to him. “The dog can open doors?”

Harry laughed and so did Eva. “Yeah, he’s got many hidden talents.”

“That sounds a little too human-ish to me,” Y/N mumbled, leaning her frame back against the pillows behind her.

“The bigger and taller dogs can actually learn to open doors and such by simply watching their human owners,” Eva explained. “Tons of the dogs here can do it, but we lock those doors.”

“But…” Y/N furrowed her brows. “If they can open doors, surely they can unlock them as well.”

“They don’t use normal locks, Y/N,” Harry smiled. “None of the dogs will manage to get out.”

“And I didn’t think dogs could open doors, but they can,” she said, smiling at Alfred as he came back to their table with a coffee mug for Y/N. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” Alfred said, sitting down beside her on the bench. “Speaking of dogs,” he started, taking his own mug into his hands and sipping it slowly. “How’d Marcela like hers?”

Y/N only looked at Alfred, wondering what he was referring to. He had met Marcela one time, but never when there was a dog around.

“Oh, I’m sorry if you don’t want to talk about her,” Alfred said quickly. “Was I insensitive?” he asked, looking at Harry and Eva.

“No, it’s not that. It…” Y/N frowned. “Dog?”

“Yeah,” Alfred went on. “Was he a good one? You seem to not like dogs so seeing him might’ve been a shock, I’m sure.”

Y/N just looked at Alfred, trying to make sense of his words. Was he implying that Marcela had a dog? Because she had never owned a dog. “Excuse me?”

Alfred put his coffee mug back on the table. “The dog your sister adopted, was he nice to you?”

Y/N thought that surely Alfred was taking the piss, she couldn’t do anything but simply blink at him. “My… My sister never had a dog. My family’s never had any pets.”

Quiet settled between them as the entire room fell into confusion, trying to understand what was going on.

“You certain about that?” Alfred asked.

“Very.”

He was up on his feet in seconds, walking off to the office Y/N had seen upon arriving at the house last night. She glanced to Harry who looked just as bewildered as her, not understanding a word of what his father was saying or implying.

“Y/N, would you please follow me?” Alfred shouted and she got up right away. Harry followed her and the two walked in the direction of Harry’s dad’s voice. He was sat by a laptop in the office, one fist pressed to his chin as he looked through whatever was on the screen in front of him. He typed something in, and then spent some more time looking or reading, brows knitted together.

“I can’t find her name,” he mumbled. “I wasn’t here when her friend was here to adopt and give the dog to her as a gift, but I swear it’s here somewhere.”

Harry and Y/N shared a look, and though Y/N was completely blank and did not understand what the fuck was going on, it seemed Harry did. Something like realisation dawned on him and he stood there thinking for a moment before he walked over to the laptop and where his father was seated. Y/N’s heart was galloping a million miles an hour, wanting to understand what Harry had. He typed something into the laptop, nothing happened, and when he deleted what he’d just written and replaced it with another name, something popped up.

“Ah!” Alfred exclaimed, hitting his palm lightly against the desk. “Finian Arnold! That must be it!”

Harry glanced over at Y/N and though he had thought of exactly this, though he had understood something she had not, he looked just as confused as her in those seconds. Had Finian been here? Had Kit been here? What were they adopting a dog and giving it away as a gift to Marcela for? Where was that dog now?

“He adopted the dog on Friday, 5th September 2014,” Alfred went on.

“Which breed was it?” Harry asked.

“German Shepherd,” Harry’s dad continued, pointing at something on the screen that Y/N couldn’t see.

“Did he have a name?”

Alfred read something on the screen and slowly shook his head. “Not one documented here, but he said they already had a name thought out for the dog.”

Harry and Y/N looked at one another again as Harry straightened up again, crossing his arms over his chest. Now, they both understood. Now, they were both on the same page. The dog bowl they had found in the cellar by the cabin had to have belonged to that dog. But why had Finan adopted a dog for Marcela? Marcela detested him and he was not a big fan of her either, so why had he gotten her a dog as a gift? Something did not add up.

NEXT UPDATE ON PATREON: Sunday, 27th June, 9PM GMT!

Huge thanks to my AMAZING beta readers! 🏛️ @aileenacoustic​ 🏛️ @devil-in-bw-the-sheets​ 🏛️ @fromyourstrulyh​​  🏛️

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[clocks-are-round]

yeah so this has been sitting in my drafts for a month •<• i thought i posted it already. whoops.

Writing 3MoM has been really good character study for what Caboose is like before and after O’Malley and… other brain ouchy events, but I’m still figuring out how to write him, especially regarding serious topics, so things like Caboose’s dialogue might be different when I finish (whenever the hell that’ll be)

but ye. now others may finally meet Bruh, my beloved. until now only a few mutuals know about them haha. i’ll have to scrounge up my brainstorming bits about them for the rest of you at some point.

——the initial post——

Here’s something I wrote a month or so ago, inspired by the encroaching holiday season and my other Caboose-centered fics-in-progress (including this one, there are 3 I think?). Haven’t really worked on it since but I’ve been on sort of a fic hiatus so I’ll share what I’ve got. (Next chapter of 3MoM still dropping sometime this week) fggsddf that’s how long ago i made this post? oof literal month

contains: Caboose struggling to remember things, fun family interactions, troubling family interactions, hostility towards mental disability, hopefully accurate spanish but it’s a rough draft so whatever, i’ll be sure to check it all over before publishing the final product (am aware of the missing accents over i, will add them in later)

So uh. Prepare yourself for pain, I guess. There’s plenty of fluff too tho

----

(Incomplete WIP-- end result may look different)

A Caboose Family Christmas Special

Headache. Maybe he should just go back to sleep. No, it was okay. He’d feel better after he had his medicine and some water and some breakfast. He swung upwards, immediately reeling in regret. Too fast. He blinked.

This wasn’t Blue Base. He looked around. He was on a couch. Where was this? A basement in someone’s house, it looked like.

There were people noises nearby. He walked to the stairs and climbed them. He peeked over the half wall on the side.

“Hey, Michael! You’re up!” He knew this person.

“Feliz Navidad!”

“Where am I?” Caboose was sure he’d never been here before.

“Oh, this is Ella’s house. Bad morning?”

Caboose looked around. Everyone was here! Even some people he didn’t know.

“Tio Michael!”

Caboose turned to the voice. “Uh… Hello!”

Two little kids were staring up at him. He was glad they were not babies. Kids were fun.

“Do you remember us?”

“Uncle Michael forgets a lot.”

“Tio Michael.”

“Uncle sounds better.”

“No, tio does!”

“Hey, stop crowding your tio, you two!” It took a second-- a scary second where he wasn’t sure-- but it was his sister.

“Ella?”

“Michael,” she acknowledged with a grin. She paused and looked around, searching.

Caboose knew that face. She took a breath in, and Caboose covered his ears.

She shouted, “Gabbi! Spongebob meme!”

Bruh walked over rubbing their ears. “She’s outside. Thanks for the busted eardrums, though.”

“Bruh? You have grown up so much!” Caboose ran up the rest of the stairs and around the railing to scoop them up into a bear hug.

“Ohh this again.” Bruh sighed but they smiled up at him. “Yeah, yeah, happy to see you too, dude.”

“Where’s Deli?”

“He’s actually going by David now.”

Caboose set them down. “For a long time? Did I forget again?”

“I mean… Not that long.”

“Sorry.”

“Hey, you remembered our names. Two out of three’s a passing grade!”

“Barely,” Del-- David joined the talking circle.

“Speak of the nerd.” Bruh said. “Michael’s saying hi to everyone.”

David didn’t look as happy to see him.

“Hi David!” Caboose said. “I like your shirt. Robots are the best. Have you met Freckles?”

David looked away from him. “I’ll take Miguel and Legend. C’mon guys. There’s more room to play outside.”

“We wanna talk to Tio Michael!”

“It’s just going to be the same conversation you had yesterday.”

“No, David, we should all talk. It’s not that often we’re all together.” Ella turned and called over her shoulder. “Martín! Can you take the kids?”

“I’ve got my hands full with Sadie.” The guy was holding a baby.

“Take your son and nephew, too. I want to talk to my brother without children harassing us.”

“Bruh is right over there. Why can’t they watch them?”

“I charge by the minute.”

“They might run off. A standard rate might be better,” David mumbled to Bruh.

“En serio, chico?” Martin responded. “Es la Navidad!”

“Yeah, working holidays costs extra.” Bruh grinned.

Ella pulled Bruh into a hug. A squeeze one, not a cuddle one.

“Just watch your nephews, you little--” She looked over at the kids. “Orejas.”

They covered their ears.

“Burrito.”

“Burrito is not a bad word,” one of kids objected.

“Hah! I knew you were still listening! Now, go with your Tío Bruh.”

“Yeah, Miguel!”

“Los dos.”

They both grumbled, but they followed Bruh out of the room. Without a word, David walked off with them too.

“David! Wait—“ Ella did an angry pout to where David left.

“His name is Miguel?”

“Yeah, I named him after you. Well, kind of. The Spanish version.”

“Woah…”

“Do you remem-- Do you know your other niblings? I can introduce them to you.”

“Ella, have I... met them before?”

“C’mon, what’s with the questions? Don’t you want to say hi to everyone?”

Ella was good at acting, but she didn’t like lying to him. She didn’t want to tell him the truth though, either. He needed to find Gabbi.

Someone said she was outside. He was pretty sure he heard that.

“I am going to say hi to Gabbi first.” And before Ella could object he ran out the front door.

—

“Gabbi, do I forget everyone a lot?”

Gabbi froze. “Whatttt??” She laughed uncomfortably.

“Like, a lot, a lot.” With the Reds and Blues and Carolina… they were used to him being like this. No one got worried when he couldn’t remember the right words. It didn’t cause problems much because that’s just how it was, but when he was away, things felt different. He felt— He realized that he was different. Even with his family. It especially bothered him with his family because sometimes they looked so sad and that was worse than strangers looking annoyed and— “I know— I know I don’t— Some stuff is harder for me, and I don’t forget because I don’t care, I forget because I forget. I—“

“Michael, it’s no big deal, really. It’s ok.”

“Is that why David’s mad at me?”

Gabbi’s face fell. So it was.

“He doesn’t like me.”

“He is not mad at you. He’s... mad and sad for you. Everyone was at first, but he’s still got it all bottled up in his heart.”

“How do I... unbottle that?”

“I don’t think you can. He just needs more time, I think.”

Caboose considered. “I will make him stop being upset with fun and hugs.”

“That is the exact opposite of what I said.”

“Too late. I am doing the fun plan now.”

“Hey hey, wait. Did you have your meds? Any breakfast?”

“Nooo?” Caboose responded guiltily. He had been distracted by all the people.

“C’mon. We’re going to the kitchen together. And then you need to get out of your pajamas. No friend quests until you’re ready for the day.”

“I’m all grown up, you don’t need to baby me.”

“Imagine how Ella feels. She’s married with kids, but I’m not going to stop with her either.” She started poking at Caboose. “C’mon, c’mon, a la cocina, let’s go!”

———

It’s very incomplete but I had wanted to explore how Caboose’s relationship with his family might have been affected by what he’s been through. I don’t know when I’ll continue working on it but it still feels like a solid starting point.

also still figuring out how to write Caboose’s perspective and how his memory difficulties and whatnot manifest. might rework some parts.

again, chapter 2 of Three Months O’ Malley coming soon fggsddf it’s been out for like a month now

it’s been a lot of fun figuring out all of Caboose’s many many siblings (still figuring many of them out tbh) and iirc chapter 2 has a little bit about Ella and Gabbi, with focus also on Sephi, Maria, and Christina in later chapters. My first fic introducing a lot of the siblings (Cabooses Slumber Party) was pretty overwhelming with like nine sisters at once, so hopefully the focus narrowing to only a few at a time will feel easier to follow.

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb fics #my fics #//hello hello hello hello hello #rvb caboose fam