#i'm like a 90-10 on women to men attraction split | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

domesticangel · 3 years

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I'm sorry if this ask makes you uncomfortable, I'm not sure, if it's something to discuss with strangers. But do you think there's a concrete way to tell your sexuality?

I've considered myself straight, since I've never felt romantic feelings towards women, but I had sexual fantasies about them even before I had them about men. Your Yugioh post made me remember hoping my barbies would turn alive to do horny things with them... And now, when I'm lucid dreaming (so it's conscious), I go for whoever there is, no matter the gender.

My confusion stems from being an extremely visually stimulated person, so even fashion Items or makeup can make me h word. So I'm really not sure if I'm bi-sexual, or just find women pretty and trying to be spicy straight.

Sorry again if it's inappropriate, I'm not sure who to even talk about this. And I'm not really in a place to find out through trial anytime soon lol

NAH YOURE FINE but its the kind of ask i could see making maybe someone else uncomfortable, so in the future you might wanna ask someone before sending something like this! but it doesnt bother me personally, so ill go ahead and answer ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

cramming under a cut since it got kinda long LOL

sooo i dont think for everyone sexuality is going to be a “concrete” thing. for some people it very much is, which is great, but for some people it can be very fluid and changing. i dont think either way is better than the other; they just Are. i only mention this bc i have also very much been where you are so i know it can be pretty stressful and frustrating, feeling like you cant even really tell what your own sexuality is, especially since my brain has never been the best at handling grey areas. i identified as bi for the vast majority of my life before realizing i was actually a lesbian. and i dont say that to equate bisexuality with confusion, but rather to illustrate just how long of a process really understanding the nuances of your own sexuality can be, and how truly normal and okay it is to explore different identities

i would suggest considering why you dont think youve ever had romantic feelings towards a woman or never could; this can actually be a very common thing for wlw bc of compulsive heterosexuality--women live their entire lives in a world that for the most part tells them that love between two women could never be “real” or romantic. its kinda like that whole messy stereotype that biphobes and homophobes like to propagate about bi people being confused, and that bi women are just confused straight women and bi men are just confused gay men. it centers around men. so when women’s sexualities have always been defined by their relationship to men, it can be really hard to figure out how you feel about people who ARENT men, and can def lead to the kind of confusion it sounds like youre having. mainstream Love as a concept is really so eaten up with heterosexual archetypes that they can muddy up your own feelings on what it means for you specifically to love someone regardless of their gender if that makes sense

re: visual stimulation: i think that can differ for everyone, and may or may not play a part in their sexuality. for example, you might become aroused because you associate fashion and makeup with women you find attractive/youre attracted to femininity, OR you might find them stimulating because of a certain mood or vibe they evoke for you, like feeling sexy, the idea of dolling yourself up for someone, etc. or it could very well be both!!!

just from what i can gather from this ask, it sounds to me like youre sexually attracted to women but struggling with figuring out the romantic side of things. ill make this clear first and foremost; i dont believe in the split attraction model, so im not positing youre “bisexual but heteroromantic” or anything like that. HOWEVER sometimes certain aspects of attraction as a whole are easier to parse than others. i know for sure that way before i ever considered IDing as a lesbian i was wildly physically attracted to women but really only gave credence to the crushes i got on men ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tbh i wouldnt worry too much about it. and i dont mean that in a brushing off kind of way; more in a you absolutely have time to figure this out and explore your options type way. let yourself feel the way you feel about people, try to think about it without OVER thinking, and just be open to things. treat it like a journey at your own pace rather than a timed exam. if you dont want to figure things out by trial as you said right now or for a long time? thats fine. that option will always be waiting for you when youre ready for it. and remember, if bisexuality is something youre considering may be a proper fit, it doesnt have to be 50/50. you could be 90% attracted to people of different/dissimilar gender and 10% attracted to people of same/similar gender and you would still be 100% bi, not a “fake,” not spicy straight. try calling yourself bi. try calling yourself straight. see how it feels and if it fits. dont be afraid of thinking youre one thing and turning out to be the other. this isnt something you can get “wrong.” sexuality can be totally messy and confusing for a lot of people, even after you think youve gotten it all figured out; one of the best things about being alive is how you feel about and interact with other people, but thats such a vast and varied experience that its totally normal imo for it to be nonlinear and not always clear cut. either way your sexuality is yours to explore no matter where you end up

#txt #sorry this is so like long and meandering and possibly. not even helpful at all HJFGDSLKHDSKJFH

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rosemusic18 · 4 years

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My Personal Favorite Ships:

All ships Im going through are for DC, Marvel,etc.

Oh and welcome to me giving you 10 ships that are my favorites and no these are not every ship I have loved or my favorite I just didn't want to be here forever.

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1. Steve Rogers And Peggy Carter (CA: First Avengers)

Well I have always personally liked the couple myself. They are so classy and adorable. I'm happy in the end that Steve went back to spend the rest of his life with Peggy after years of fighting and being 90 years in ice then being in the future then fighting as a hero.

2. Artemis and Wally West (YJ)

Ok I can say out of all the ships I love these two the most. I just hate how they spoiler *had to kill Wally* but otherwise I have loved them since Season 1. And I love the scene between Wally and Kent Nelson and where Kent saying to Wally find your own spitfire I adore it.

3. Courtney Whitmore and Cameron Mahkent (Stargirl)

One of my newest favorite ships and I adore them. I pray Stargirl doesn't take this ship away because they are so beautiful together. And they make Romeo and Juliet look not as cute and even they had a love story that ended tragic. Oh no I pray that doesn't happy to those two even through the rest of this season through season 2.

4.Peter Petrelli and Niki Sanders (Heroes)

Ok these two deserved a better storyline but both of them were a good couple. Since Niki had her own demons facing another side of her self with Jessica. But Peter in the time in the future where he had lost almost everyone and everything in the world was bad and they both fit another and both fit the mold that they both needed at the time. He needed someone and she needed to forget all she lost also.

5. Barry Allen and Patty Spivot (CW Flash)

Ok don't hate me but I love these two in the Flash. I always liked these two together before Barry dumped her when she was getting another job and he love Iris. I get Iris and him are in the comics together but they were cute and adorable together. I just feel bad for Patty.

6. Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (Comics)

Classic comic couple from Spiderman. Yes the gif is not comic related but its a animation. But they were a couple that both of the two had their strong suits like both are reporters and Mary Jane also was a tough women who didn't give a crap and would fight. And I love comic book Spiderman.

7. Hank Hall and Dawn Granger (Titans)

Ok Titans watchers I enjoyed this couple. And the show ruined how the two could have had a nice relationship. They could have been complete opposite attract style but no they spilt them up. But hey when they did split up in Season 2 once again I'm happy that Dawn did stand up for herself against Hank. But hey at least they are still Hawk and Dove.

8. Jack Pearson and Rebecca Pearson (This is Us)

Ok my favorite married couple. I love both actors as I have been a fan of Milo and Mandy but this just made them a married couple that have hard times but they get through it even when Jack dies. I love how it shows a couple that can stand through the good times and bad times. I 100% ship them even though in the show they are married I would either way.

9. Dick Grayson and Zatanna Zatara (YJ)

Ok not many I feel like the two together, and I liked them together in the first season. I understand that Dick can be a playboy sorry but he can be. But they were a good couple when the where but I always wish I could have seen the 5 years between the first and second season and I wish I could have seen them as a couple.

10. Garth and Donna Troy (Titans)

Why did they have to kill Garth? I understand for making Deathstroke the villian but hey he was only there for what two episodes and then died. Wait what is with the blonde men being with the Amazonians.

Honestly I have no idea why I'm posting this: I'm just idk anymore.

Other mentions : Conner Kent (Superboy) & M'gann M'orzz (Ms Martain), Rick Tyler & Beth Chapel, Rachel Roth & Garfield Logan, Anne Marie (Rouge) & Remey (Gambit), Logan & Jean Grey, and Daredevil and Electra. Oh and yes Dr.Midnite & His Owl Partners.

I'm questioning my thoughts when writing this. I'll be back later.

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schrodingersbisexuals · 6 years

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I'm a cis woman and I identify as bi, but my preference tends to lean towards men. I still feel sexually attracted to women, but sometimes I worry that I am confusing my own feelings towards women. I know it is a cliche to feel like I am faking it, but sometimes I think I might be because my attraction to men outweighs my attraction to women?

You are completely valid in identifying as bisexual, even if you lean towards your attraction to men more often! Being bisexual is not singularly 50% attraction to men and 50% attraction to those of other genders. Sometimes that split can be 90% vs 10% and that is okay! Just because your preference is men doesn’t mean that you are faking your attraction to women, or that you “aren’t gay enough” to identify as bi. Your strong attraction to men does not invalidate your attraction to women.

I am more attracted to women than I am to men, but that doesn’t stop me from being attracted to my boyfriend, nor does my relationship with him make me any less bi.

I hope this helps!

#ask #anon #questioning

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lesbian-ed-discourse · 7 years

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The reason why I'm critical of of that "bisexuals being attracted to men and women equally is a MYTH! Attraction isn't split 50/50! It could be 90/10!!" Is because you are either attracted to someone or you are not. That IS a binary. So I'm critical of the claim it is not, because it seems to only started in this homophobic tumblr discourse where "sexuality is fluid" "hearts not parts" stuff.

I do agree with this, yes, I do not buy into that bullshit of “sexuality is fluid”, in fact I fucking hate that statement, which is clearly born of homophobia.

However a person who is 100% attracted to men, and also 100% attracted to women, but tends to date more women than men (few exceptions, but they are out there), is still a bisexual individual.

Attraction, like you said, either is or isn’t, there is no inbetween in that. However I do think people might have preferences. To say that no, they couldn’t, would men that a bisexual woman who chooses to marry another woman, and therefore spend most of her life dating a woman, would suddenly be a lesbian, even though she still experiences attraction to men. Idk if I’m making myself clear?

Basically I do agree with your point, but I wouldn’t make any sure statements about it, because I feel like it's not a bulletproof reality basically?

I’m just really tired of bisexual women calling themselves “so gay”.

/Mod A

#compulsory heterosexuality #mod A #answered asks #Anon

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soft-sapphiic · 7 years

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Bi anon from the other day. First off, I'M SORRY I MADE YOU FEEL BAD!!!!!!! That wasn't my intention at all, and I appreciate that you read what I said and were thoughtful about it. :) I didn't/don't think you were trying to come off as anti-bi or anything, it's just that bi erasure is a very real (and common) thing from both lesbians and straight ppl, so I just... am super sensitive about it, I guess? (1/?)

You get the “you’re just playing around with girls, you’ll settle down with a guy“ from straight ppl, and then the "bi is just a layover on the way to lesbian” from lesbians. And truthfully? It may be. Or it may not be. It’s not like bisexuality is a 50/50 thing where you’re 50% interested in other genders, and 50% interested in your own. It maybe be more like a 90/10 split, or a 40/60 split, or maybe there’s one or two guys over the years you really like/are attracted to/care about, but (2/?)

mostly you’re into women. Or the opposite. Maybe you’re more likely to have romantic feelings about one gender over another. Maybe you don’t have romantic feelings about anybody, but sexually you’re into all sorts of people, regardless of gender. Or maybe it’s the opposite way around. (3/?)

And all of that can change over the years. I joke that the older I get, the gayer I get, but for me, it’s kinda true. I’m still attracted to men, but I don’t have a lot of interest in building a life with one. The reasons are myriad. (and for anyone reading, IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY IF YOU HAVE REASONS YOU DON’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH MEN EVEN IF YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THEM. All caps because sometimes ppl like to make a big deal about the reasons ‘why’ a woman is a lesbian/queer/etc, (4/?)

and the truth is, why doesn’t matter.) Like your other anon said, what really matters is if you’re happy. If you’re dating guys because you think you’re bi or straight, and you’re hating every minute of it and the relationships are all awful… stop. You don’t have to do that. Date people who make you happy and who are good to you. (5/?)

Also? Know that when it comes down to it, you are the only one who gets to define your sexual identity. I had three different guys tell me last year that I was “bi-curious, not bisexual” because at the time, all of my sexual experiences had been with men, never mind that I’d known I was attracted to girls since I was 14, and I’m… significantly past 14 now… and my experience with men was pretty limited too. *rolls eyes* (6/6)

Hi wow sorry I left you hanging for a while lol. These are all really good points, thank you for sending this in! I’m glad to have your perspective bc I genuinely just Did Not Know Better, but this is really well expressed, so ty! (And I’m glad there were no hard feelings about it!)

#asks #anonymous

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