#i'm proud of you for getting out and putting your mental and physical well-being first | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

Note

I grew up in the Mormon church, in a very conservative and religious home, in a neighborhood and city that were both ~99% Mormon. At 16, I stopped believing, and I told my mother. She refused to let me stop going to church, and insisted that I try believing it again. So I stopped talking about it and went back to pretending to believe. Pretty much everyone I'd ever met was Mormon, and I was afraid that if any of them found out I was an atheist, they'd rat me out to the church leadership, and word would get back to my parents. I never tried to talk to my family (or any other Mormon) about it again while I was living at home. I was scared, but I don't know what I was scared of.

Two years later, I left home for college. (I made up a lie about a non-deferable scholarship to explain why I was going to college before a Mormon mission.) Once I was out of the house, I told my parents again that I didn't believe. They didn't argue. I even moved back in with them for the summer of my freshman year. We had a few arguments about politics before we all learned to avoid those topics, but religion never came up.

A couple years after that, I started having occasional nightmares and flashbacks involving the first time I told my mother I wanted to leave the church. (I still have those.) I'd always been bad at writing to family, and this just made it harder. I wrote home less often and took longer to answer messages.

It's been eight years since I left home. I've moved to a different continent, and I haven't spoken to any of my relatives in over a year. I never talked to any of them about why. I never told them that I'm bisexual, that I'm trans, or that I've changed my name and gone on HRT. I feel like nothing I have to say about any of that would mean anything to them (except that I'm being led astray by Satan, which they already believe), so it isn't worth the effort. Especially since I don't really care about any of them that much.

I've gotten a couple of messages from relatives since I stopped answering. (None from my parents.) For the most part they seem to be following my cue.

I'm never sure if going no contact like this was unreasonable. Should I have explained what was going on? Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I've been happier since cutting them off is enough justification, or if it just makes me a bad person. Did I just make everything harder than it needed to be by keeping it all a secret for two years, then blame my parents for it when I moved out?

Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#breaking my no-influencing-the-results rule to say: op you are not even remotely the asshole and i will fight anyone who says you are #i'm proud of you for getting out and putting your mental and physical well-being first #be well <3 #aita #am i the asshole #reddit #196

214 notes · View notes

bambi-slxt · 20 days

Text

lovelanguage!triplets:

✨a concept✨

🍊𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤🍊

acts of service

he's a problem solver. “chris i can't get the dishwasher to work, can you-” and he's already ordered a new one, set up the installation, and made sure you'll be home for it. he hates the idea of you floundering alone, and is always quick to take on whatever tasks he can, even if it's as small as running a bath for you before you get home.

words of affirmation

chris is the type to look for things about you that other people don’t seem to notice and compliment you on them. “you’re so well-spoken, like the way you word shit, it's just incredible.” he also likes to hear about your goals and how you're achieving them, and enjoys affirming your choices in life.

quality time

he's SO BIG on quality time. chris loves to be near creativity and one of the ways that manifests is with music. lil skies drops a new album? chris is gonna call you first so you guys can listen to the whole thing together and yap about it.

gift giving

he has such a squirrel brain. chris will see something at the store that reminds him of you and put it in the cart, forget about it, do another lap around the store, see it again, and put it in the cart. he just wants to make you happy.

physical touch

chris doesn't feel the need to be possessive. he shows his physical touch kind of love through soft touches on your back when he's walking behind you (“i'm here, don't get startled”), tapping your thigh in the car to the beat of his music, and standing so close to you when y'all brush your teeth that your hips graze each other.

🦋𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥🦋

acts of service

matt doesn’t like showing off the things he does for you, so often you’ll find that things get fixed or chores get done in the quiet background of your day. he fixes the leaking sink when you’re out shopping, and cleans up the kitchen before you get back so he can help you put groceries away, all without bringing it up once. he enjoys helping you out and taking some of the mental load off of you, but hates the idea of being appreciated for it - matt feels that it’s just his job as a partner.

words of affirmation

he’s big on writing notes. since he doesn’t have a typical 9-5, he’ll make your lunches and put a little post-it note on the inside. “i’m so proud of you, you’re gonna have an amazing day.” on your birthday or anniversary, he always has a hand-written letter for you along with any gifts or celebratory activities.

quality time

matt likes to body double, which means that the two of you don’t necessarily have to be doing the same thing to be engaging in quality time. he’s perfectly content to work on his personal brand or account while you read or play his games while you’re doing homework. he also loves teaching you Fortnite and other FPS’s, or trying new things together like cooking or making crafts.

gift giving

he enjoys giving practical gifts, things that will help make your life easier. it’s his way of saying he notices you’re struggling and he wants to help however he can. this also connects back to his words of affirmation - matt knows that words are powerful, and many of his gifts involve written sentiments of love, pride, vulnerability, or compassion towards you.

physical touch

matt was never big on physical touch. he’s always very aware of his body and someone else coming into contact with it only exacerbated the problem. but soon he came up with a solution for the two of you - ‘three taps means i love you’. soon he taps you all the time, even in his sleep.

👾𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕜👾

acts of service

nick is never afraid to confront your problems head on, and he feels no apprehension taking time out of his day to do things for you. one of his favorite ways to perform an act of service is to help you manage your days and be as productive as you can be - he wants nothing more than to see you succeed and achieve your dreams.

words of affirmation

he doesn’t always show love this way, but when he does, nick could talk about you for hours. he calls attention to all of your wonderful traits, cute quirks, and special interests, making sure to bring up how amazed he is by all of what makes you, you.

quality time

quality time with nick can look like a lot of different things depending on his mood. some days he wants to go get aćai bowls, thrift, go on a walk by the harbor, and visit the farmers market and some days he wants to stay in bed and talk or watch movies until 3pm.

gift giving

nick is incredibly good at getting gifts. he tries his best to pay attention to everything you like and all the hobbies and interests you have so he can go look them up later and find you presents based on that. he also really enjoys diamond paintings, crafting, or any other artsy, homemade gift he can give you, because to nick, those feel the most authentic.

physical touch

he’s always been a bit jumpy when other people touch him and he’s not expecting it, but once nick knows it’s you, he doesn’t mind at all. when he’s in the mood for it, he loves detangling your hair, hiding his hands in your hoodie pocket, or just brushing up on you as much as he can.

thanks for reading!

bambi <3

request to be on the taglist under this post right here

tags: @pinksturniolo @malirosee @st7rnioioss @nonat-111 @cindylcuwho @evie-sturns @h3arts4harry @fanficsbymia @dazednmatthews @sturniolo-rat @mattsmad @sturniolo04 @bellasturn @blahbel668 @yomamaslays4lyfe @stasiesturn @pleasantlycrazyworld @solarsturniolo

302 notes · View notes

cowboyjen68 · 2 months

Note

Hi, I want to advise you, Miss Jen . I am a 19-year-old girl, and I am a lesbian, but unfortunately, my family does not accept this idea and do not like gay people, and I have not yet told them this. I don't know what to do. I want to tell them, but at the same time, I'm afraid of their reaction. The problem is that I don't have close friends to tell this to.

So can you please give me some advice?

Because I have been following you for a while, and you make me feel comfortable when you share your stories and advice here or on TikTok. I really love you and wish you all the best 💕💕

I had a few moments on Monday so i did a quick Tiktok addressing your question.

My advice it to not tell them. Your first priority is to stay safe and maintain stability (housing, healthcare, education, etc. You don't owe them that part of your life.

I completely understand the desire to share such an important things with our parents and family. We love them and we want them to know all about things that are important to us and that includes such a core part of us, our sexual orientation. You are not any less of a lesbian if you keep that part of yourself private from them.

Put your focus on a job, a driver's license, a bank account, collection documents like your social security card and birth certificate and finishing your education. Once you are on your own and are paying for housing, health insurance and other necessary things then you can make the decision to tell them. Even once you are on your own, you do not have to. If you fear loosing them there is no shame in not coming out to them, now or ever.

You will eventually meet friends at jobs or school who will understand you and love you for all your core values and you can be yourself. Or choose what to share and what not to share. You are allowed the boundaries of some things being private with some people.

Even back in my youth the line of "Silence equals Death" was used by some to force others to come out when they were not ready or not in a safe place to do so. To be clear, that is not what it meant.

To this day I see others encouraging younger people to be "out and proud " because "we" will support you. The fact is, strangers on the internet are not able to take on the truly hard stuff of parenting that goes well beyond emotional support. It entails being responsible for a young person's mental. physical and monetary well being and it does not end at early adulthood.

Stay in the closet at home, seek friendships at work or in school that are fulfilling and trustworthy. You are not being shameful to stay safe in your home.

I am glad you found me on social media. And remember, just because I am out and loud now does not mean I always was. Taking our time to get to a good and safe place to be out takes time and courage.

#coming out #not coming out #in the closet #family #lesbian

96 notes · View notes

biribaa · 11 months

Text

WAWAAWAWAAWW ROMANCE THIS PLATONIC THIS WHATEVER I WANT TO SEE SCRYBES AS PARENTAL FIGURES

Leshy would be a well balanced father, he knows when to treat you sweetly and he knows when you need to be scolded. For me Leshy is one of the most leisurely patrons, so you can have plenty of free time to do any kind of parent and child activity.

I really believe that Leshy would teach you how to make wooden figures. Just you, his dear child, and him, making some wooden figures together. Did you cut yourself with the knife? Of course, don't worry, Leshy will have his full attention for you and take care of your cut. Leshy isn't desperate with certain injuries of yours, of course he's worried, but he knows you're going to be fine.

Leshy will have a hard time making food for you... Seeing how he's not very fond of cooking. Having some cookbooks would be nice right now...

Leshy tends to sleep hugging you, he wants to make sure you're warm, the woods usually tend to be cold, and he would hate to see his dear child have to suffer from a cold nose and sneezing.

Leshy will teach you how to hunt, write, read, how to skin animals without getting blood on you, etc. Basics for you to survive in the forest if at some point you want to live alone.

Also, Leshy tells you bedtime stories! He was hesitant at first, but seeing how insistent you were, he couldn't say 'no' to your lovely smile.

.

I bet Grimora has dreamed/wanted at some point in her life to have a child, so trust me, you are a blessing in her life!

Grimora showers you with verbal support. You did a drawing of her? "Why, isn't this splendid my child! I'm truly proud of you Y/N. Keep drawing and I bet you'll be even better than uncle Magnificus!". You finish the duties Grimora sent you to do? "Good job Y/N! I know that I could always trust you." Or anything else that you made a effort? "Magnificent Y/N! I'm so happy to hear this news!"

She doesn't spoil you, but Grimora clearly gives the attention every child needs to you and you alone. Grimora doesn't just want to be your mother, she wants to be your friend.

Grimora loves to teach you things, even the simplest things, like sewing or how to make tea. And after that the two of you try to sew something together while she listens to you talk about your day.

.

Magnificus being a father figure is similar to Leshy, but more protective. Leshy trusts you and knows you can get by with his learnings, while Magnificus is extremely protective of you.

He always asks where you're going and who your new friends are. Don't get him wrong, Magnificus its just worried and care about you, both your physical and mental health. He wants to make it more than clear that you are not just anyone, but the child of Magnificus. Perhaps this sudden fame and a lot of people treating you like royalty might irritate you slightly, so it would be best to talk to Magnificus about the situation if that's what bothers you, so he can make an attempt to sort things out.

I don't think Magnificus is one of the best fathers, so he puts a lot of expectations on you as his child, but over time he realizes that you are not a saint and sometimes you just don't have the physical/mental strength to do certain things , he tries to lighten the weight of expectations and responsibilities on you while you're still just a kid, you deserve to be free :]

And like Grimora, Magnificus likes to shower you with verbal support, always telling you he's proud of you for doing your chores. Sometimes, he even gives you gifts that he knows you like!

Magnificus is also a great listener. The moment between the two of you while Magnificus paints a picture and you talk endlessly about your interests is pleasant for him. Speaking of painting, you're the first person he shows the paintings he's done!

.

Oof, P03 is a tough one.

P03 never planned or was interested in having a child, and yet, here you are.

P03 is horrible at showing the affection they have for someone. The easiest type of affection for P03 to express affection is simply helping you with whatever difficulties you are having.

They help you pick up things you can't reach for your size, helps you with tasks you're having and listens to you talk about the horrible day you had (with a bonus of them calling whoever bothered you an asshole. And having something against that person after that day).

And of course P03 will teach you strategies and how to play cards, saying that "I don't want to suffer the shame of having a horrible player as a child", but in fact he meant "Omfg I don't want anyone calling my kid a loser I want them to be the best so they can be proud of themselfand not have their mental health destroyed by idiots"

And when P03 praises a drawing you made for it or completed a task or won a card battle, it just says "Good job Y/N", with a lil' pat pat in your head. But he SWEARS he's been so positively affected by the things you've done, he just has a big problem expressing it. So please, do tell him if you don't feel appreciated enough, and P03 will make an attempt to show his true feeling more.

#Leshy x reader #p03 x reader #grimora x reader #magnificus x reader #inscryption x reader #inscryption p03 #inscryption #inscryption leshy #inscryption magnificus #inscryption grimora

136 notes · View notes

hisui555 · 3 months

Text

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 2

(Foils 1 here)

(Foils 3 here)

(Foils 4 here)

Masterpost here.

Crawling back out of my cave because my stupid brain won't let me rest. Synapses fired all night yesterday, I'm sure there's some structural damage in the front lobe from all the fireworks going off and bouncing around the walls of my skull, but mostly color me impressed that my asocial side actually got cowed into submission, by PRODUCTIVITY of all things, holy shit, why can't it happen for job interviews ?

...Anyway.

Aaaand without transition I would like to talk about Rosie VS Carmilla (I'm putting a "VS" so that it's clearer from a couple/team, see Foils 1), especially around Ep 7, which has just this magnificent parallel between them, respectively coaching Charlie and Vaggie (yes, TV Tropes already covered that one, shhhh, don't tell my spark of productivity, it might disappear and play dead for months again). For the A plot, we have Charlie, led by Alastor, who's going to Cannibal Town to meet Rosie and ask for reinforcements - basically getting an army of cannibals to lend a hand, even if it's not theirs and has some bite marks on it. For the B plot, on the other side, Vaggie goes to Carmilla to learn how angels can be killed, and from that on asking her for the appropriate weapons. On both sides, the two girls learn about confidence and fighting for the right thing - Charlie grows into the leader she's capable of being, Vaggie steels her resolve and grows her wings back.

What's interesting about those parallel scenes is how much Rosie and Carmilla contrast each other, and are similar to Charlie and Vaggie respectively yet have differences : again, a square of foils. But let's talk about the (seemingly) older women first.

When we stumble upon Cannibal Town, it has a very gentlemanly aesthetic, streets are clean, people are well-dressed and polite, and if you forget the minor detail of cough eating people cough, they are quite the amicable bunch - something Charlie herself comments on, how "surprisingly nice" it is. The second we meet Rosie, we understand why : she's a councelor, the unofficial mayor and of course the Overlord representing them all. She's a faultless host (again, if you don't care much about her specific ingredients), very accomodating, and doesn't rebut Charlie right away despite her enormous demand. In fact, once Alastor chimes in that her citizens would be not only well-armed but also well-fed, she's happy to give it a go and coach Charlie on how to convince them (well, for the most part. Susan.), showing she knows her community very well. Rosie is shown as more of a knowledge broker : she trades information to Alastor in exchange of favors, seems to know things about him that even our deer friend doesn't ("A what now ?" *Pats your shoulder in ace, buddy. You'll get the hang of it.*), and overall comes off as very well-informed.

In the meantime, we follow Vaggie to the industrial side of the Pentagram, where it seems to be more smoke, steel and craft than rural, pictoresque town. Carmilla doesn't let Vaggie enter until she threatens to spill the beans out in plain view of the street, and once she's inside, Carmilla is immediately verbally hostile and commandeering the whole speech ("Ninety seconds."), rebutting each of Vaggie's claims with clinical precision - rightfully countering that she doesn't want to bring the trouble to her doorstep, and put her loved ones (+ workers) in danger, to which Vaggie counters (also rightfully) that if the Hotel fails to defend itself, Carmilla might still kiss her pointy shoes goodbye. Once the time is up, Carmilla attacks, but it's quickly blatant that she's actually stealthily coaching Vaggie into fighting better, both physically and mentally. She's ruthless, brutal, and elegant, but not with the same elegance as Rosie : Rosie's charm and mannierisms are day-to-day, yet she's a proud cannibal, so her elegance hides a very carnal nature by the way of eating human flesh (even if she wraps it in pretty ribbons in a candy box), while Carmilla's cold and sharp demeanor hides her graceful but efficient fighting style - I mean, have you seen those twirls and acrobatics ? Hot dang, she's cool. Rosie is a knowledge broker that knows damn well how to use her information, Carmilla is a weapons dealer that knows damn well how to use her weapons : no wonder she arms herself (and her daughters) first. Carmilla, on the surface, rejects Vaggie's deal, but after a few moments, we see that she's turning it into her own way of helping.

Now we arrive to the two main songs, Out For Love and Ready For This, who are almost back-to-back. Charlie has had her moment with Rosie, who genuinely helped her through her personal problems and her moment of uncertainty concerning Vaggie's secret, and it's time for the big rallying song. And, Charlie, you're cute and all, but sightseeing and camaraderie aren't the things cannibals are interested in - they might have a child's heart (somewhere in a jar behind a desk), but EATING is where it's at ! Good thing Alastor chimed in, hm ? Which kinda rebounds on his private part of the song with Rosie ("Stick with her, you'll be on the winning side !") : their motivations are more selfish than we think. Rosie is genuinely kind and empathetic, but not altruist : doing the Princess of Hell a solid might be a real advantage in the long run, especially for someone like her who trades in favors. On the other side, Carmilla has it out for her own reasons right away, but does a selfless move by teaching Vaggie and lending the weapons : while she doesn't directly stick her neck out, she still helps from the shadows. Her main motive is to protect her loved ones and avoid bloodshed, while Rosie's and the cannibals are to get their belly full and gain political advantage.

It's really like an hourglass between the two : Rosie hears Charlie (and Alastor) out and accepts to help but actually for selfish reason, actively and directly helping Charlie to assert herself, talking her through therapy and words - a language Charlie is very receptive to - teaching her confidence and leadership (something Vaggie already has). Carmilla on her side rebukes Vaggie but actually for more selfless (even if personal) reasons, indirectly (but still actively) helps her to rekindle with her own emotions and be honest with herself (something Charlie already is), all that through physical training and fighting - a language Vaggie knows quite well. You'd think they have the names of the songs crossed and mixed up, yet they fit perfectly : Charlie needs to be Ready For This and finally face physical confrontation, while Vaggie needs to be Out For Love and honest with her feelings and past. They both complement each other.

The smiles Carmilla and Rosie also give at the news are contrasting : Carmilla hears the news and smiles a little smile, to herself, looking proud that it worked, and proud of her 'student'. Rosie on her side has a charming, calculated, wide smile that seems to spell out 'now there we go' and 'ooh, this was nothing, darling' more than 'good job', complete with a cup of tea. It's like she smiles more at the camera than out of genuine pride, unlike Carmilla who just smiles to herself. You'd think tough-as-nails Carmilla would be the last person to teach people to fight for love, yet here we are, while ladylike elegant Rosie, who does show genuine understanding and kindness, is also planning to use Charlie for her own gain.

Wrapping this up, Charlie & Vaggie VS Carmilla & Rosie : Carmilla is kind of a more experienced version of Vaggie (a figther, determined, devoted to her loved ones), with Charlie's core ideas (love, compassion, avoiding fights) while Rosie is a more experienced version of Charlie (connections, empathy, people person) with Vaggie's way of thinking (strategic, knowledgeable, prepared).

Like Vaggie, Carmilla is a fierce fighter that you don't want to piss off, with people to protect, an expert in dealing with weapons (cherry on top : both about angelic steel), even physically they're quite alike : long white hair (especially when Carmilla lets hers go in response to Vaggie's grumbling), similar tone of skin, palette in dark grays and white mostly (Vaggie has more pink where Carmilla has black), both are also Hispanic. They already (unknowingly) share a duet in Whatever It Takes, with personal reasons very close to one another. Carmilla is the perfect combination of Charlie's ideals and Vaggie's realism, leaning more towards Vaggie's side as a fighter. They also look the less relatively demonic, past some features (like Carmilla's oversized arms).

Rosie on her side looks like an upper-class lady who is the leader of her town and an Overlord (mirroring Charlie being a princess and the founder of the Hotel), sharing some reds in their respective palettes (even if Charlie's is more solid red and Rosie's burgundy), pale hair and a very affable, accomodating demeanor. Rosie is the perfect mix of Vaggie's pragmatism and Charlie's kindness, leaning towards Charlie's side as an informator and councelor. They naturally stand in the spotlight, one way or another, and guide people through their problems. They're also both more "demonic" : Charlie is the literal Princess of Hell and hellborn demon, while Rosie has notable very sharp teeth, pitch black eyes (like the town citizens) and... what was it again...? oh right ! Eats people.

(Don't worry, I'm not always a smartass : sometimes I'm asleep.)

That went longer than expected (...as always), but, well, enjoy. Skyscrapers like those are useful when you have time to kill. I might need to consider doing a masterpost for those... might be more practical for those crazy enough to want to read all of my inane rambling (boredom is such a pain, right ?)

Hope you enjoyed.

Again, Masterpost here.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel carmilla #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin rosie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel thoughts

20 notes · View notes

purpleandstarlight · 7 months

Text

Dadbastian Week - Day One: Proud

For all the trouble that his Young Master put him trough, being in a contract with him could be entertaining, at times like this. This demon had made the right choice when he answered the call, even if he had started regretting it soon after.

When Sebastian first met this cursed child, he was weak. He was a mess of tears and both physical and mental wounds, looked completely shaken, and like the slightest blow of wind would be able to knock him down where he stood.

And yet now, just a little over a year later, Sebastian had to say: the Phantomhive Earl knew what he was doing. Lying like it was second nature, stabbing people in the back (sometimes literally), interrogating his enemies while coldly pointing a gun to their heads and following up with his threats if the target wasn't taking him seriously and he was feeling vicious enough, making grown men weep for mercy at his feet. It was satisfying, to see the length of how far this child would go for his own selfish goals, knowing it was partially thanks to his own intervention in the kid's already broken psyche. Sebastian never had kids of his own -nor did he ever plan to- but he had to guess, as he saw his Young Master rise from the ground after taking important documents out of the pockets of a target he had insisted on killing himself out of spite, this was what a human father would consider "pride".

"What are you smirking about, over there?"

The demon blinked, getting pulled out of his own thoughts by the same kid he was thinking about, who was now busy glaring at him.

"Nothing, my Lord. I guess I just got...sentimental."

The Phantomhive rolled his eye.

"As if you know anything about feelings..."

"Ah, but as a Demon, don't you think I must know about them? How would I tempt and twist humans otherwise?"

"I don't doubt that you can understand human emotions. What I'm saying is, it's very obvious to me that you can't feel them yourself."

"As ruthless as usual, i see."

"Like you're any better..."

The Earl finally turned, walking forwards and trying to decipher one of the documents in his hands for any chance at finding the culprit.

"Well, just so you know, I was reminiscing about the past."

"What, any especially exciting mass murder you were the cause of a few hundred years ago?"

"Not that far back. I was actually thinking about our first meeting."

"I see. How festive," Although his comment was as dry as a desert, it was obvious that a cautios kind of curiosity was biting at him when he asked, "What brought this on?"

"You've just grown a lot since then, haven't you? You cried a lot that day, but now, you pile up corpses left and right by your own hands with no hints of regret. It's quite the development, is it not?"

The young Lord's shoulders shot up, the sound of his footsteps stopping for a moment, before quickly going back to normal.

"That's right. Can't say I'm proud of it, but I can't really deny it, either."

"Well, if this can quell my Master's worries, I am proud of you."

They both knew it wouldn't. That it would do just the opposite. And they both knew that was exactly why the demon had admitted to it.

"Ah yes, a Demon straight from hell, intent on seasoning my soul with any messed up kind of spice my broken mental state provides, approves of my actions. What a reassuring thing this is." The young Earl rolled his one visible eye, before turning back to the document in his hands. "Shut up now, that's an order. We still have a job to do, and i want to get back to the mansion quickly."

"Yes, my Lord."

#dadbastianweek2023 #dadbastianproud #wanted to post these on ao3 but...i dont have the energy #i'm in a MXTX novels mood these last couple months i dont do much else than stuff relating to that #i will post these on ao3 when i finally finish writing the last few that i got distracted before i could write all those months ago

35 notes · View notes

ateez-himari · 7 months

Text

SOCIAL MEDIA UPDATE 231024

NEW TWITTER UPDATE

[NEW UPLOAD FROM HIMARI]

ATEEZ(에이티즈) @ATEEZofficial

[#히마리] Five years ago we made our debut with hearts full of anxiety, wondering if anyone would even bother showing up, and now we've just ended a world tour. At first they were strangers to me, people I was too shy to approach but now whenever someone asks about them I simply say 'my second family'. They've scolded me, cared for me, held my hand, showered me with love, dried my tears, created my smiles and played a part in raising me. We're much more than friends, we're soulmates...because in every life I would choose them, no matter where or who we are. I know Chuseok has passed but I want to make a wish. I wish for the nine of us to keep standing by each other for a very long time...so that we can get old together. Let's continue our journey okay? ATEEZ HWAITING! ㅋㅋㅋ Happy 5 years to us, to my home.❤️9 MAKES 1 TEAM! (I can't ever get them in a picture together sorry ㅠㅠ...) #ATEEZ #애이티즈

Translated from Korean by Google

10:45am. · 23 Oct 23 · 2.5M Views 41K Reposts 1,267 Quotes 1.3M Likes

mikah @himaswife Replying to @ATEEZofficial We always joke about Joong and Hwa being the parents of the group but think about it...Hima was around 14 when she came to KQ and hadn't been with her family much for about a year cuz she was at JYPE. So they basically finished raising her🥹

koala koala @koalazia Replying to @himaswife omg yes she even has similar habits to each of the members😭idk who else knows this but in an interview Yeo said he saw her copy her older brothers' actions a lot and he noticed she was doing the same with them

cheongdam pepper @33khj Replying to @ATEEZofficial new pre-debut photos yes omg! i've been an atiny since the beginning and i can't believe they've already grown so much- hima went from hiding behind the members bc of all the hate and social anxiety to being a global ambassador for versace and 4th gen's little social butterfly

nabi @jigeumfly Replying to @ATEEZofficial happy 5 years our ateez 🥂we're so proud of you! you went from performing in small theaters to your first ever stadium, becoming the most successful 4th generation group not from a big company. you truly deserve all the happiness that comes your way (also the way she talks about them...my heart can't take this i'm crying)

TOQTOK UPDATE

CHECK OUT THIS NEW COMMENT FROM 히마리

🐯: I didn't think they'd remember either but my brothers all sent me congratulation messages this morning ㅋㅋㅋ My parents called me instead and my mom was really emotional so it made me cry a little bit but it's okay because it was tears of love. I'll go see my birth parents soon! I haven't brought them flowers in a while so they must miss me a lot. It's okay though I'm sure they've been watching over our shows and ATINY as well so they'll understand!

CHECK OUT THIS NEW COMMENT FROM 히마리

🐯: I guess it's true that sometimes I act like the members ㅋㅋㅋ I've always had a habit of copying people who taught me so since they raised me for a while I copy them a lot. Hongjoong oppa says I started biting people only after meeting Wooyoung oppa...so I guess some of them are bad influences ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

5TH YEAR INTERVIEW

'As we're filming this it's ATEEZ's 4th debut anniversary already which means we've pushed through a lot of bad times, a lot of physical and mental struggles. My hope for you is that when thinking of the past you're able to see the happy memories more than the negativity, that you can see everything you accomplished over the years. I also hope you've gotten strong enough to let go of the members' hands sometimes and that you can help them as much as they've cared for us. Learn to take a break sometimes so we can go back to painting okay? Hwaiting!'

Q: Do you feel you've become stronger since last year and that you've learned to rest?

When looking back it simply feels as though I've become more free in the past year, not putting as many harsh restrictions on myself which makes me a lot happier...and I guess it's a form of strength so yes. It's still a bit hard to get into the mindset of taking a moment to rest so the process is slow but I'm getting there at my own pace. I think past me would be proud to know that I've started to paint again...actually my room is filled with messy tools a lot nowadays.

Q: How would you describe your relationship with ATEEZ?

In very short terms...a group of eight chaotic big brothers who would be willing to steal the moon if I asked. They've shown me so much love that it feels as though I can't refer to them simply as friends anymore so...family.

Q: What modifier do you want ATEEZ to have in 2024?

Growth has always been very important to us so even if there's nothing I would wish to change within our team, I want us to keep growing. Whether it be as people, musicians, dancers, performers or even our career, I want us to have come a farther way next year than where we are now. Not only for us but also for ATINY to be able to grow with us without thinking that it is something much too intimidating or unachievable.

Q: A word for ATINY who's been with ATEEZ for 5th anniversary in 2023.

It might seem like something we say very often...but thank you. ATINY have been our biggest motivators from the moment we made our debut and they've always laughed with us, cheered us on, given us words of motivation and during hard times they continued to support us no matter what. They make ATEEZ whole. So ATINY make sure to stay healthy and know that we're behind you too no matter what. We'll make sure to work hard so you can always be proud of us. I love you!

Q: A letter to myself a year from now.

I'm sure that there are still a few mental struggles you need to face but remember that with the members behind you, you won't ever fall far so please don't be afraid of anything. Continue to give as much love as you can to our parents, our brothers, our members, our friends and ATINY so that they can also find the same hope we have. I know you'll be a lot stronger by the time you see this and I promise that I'll keep working hard okay? I can't wait to meet you next year!

#ateez 9th member #ateez au #ateez extra member #ateez female member #ateez imagines #kpop oc

28 notes · View notes

tsunderedoctor · 2 years

Note

Hi, I'm new to your blog and think it's so kind and fantastic that you offer so much comfort to other fans like this. If it's a good time for you and you're comfortable with it, may I ask for an emergency request? I've been struggling with self-loathing thoughts and feeling like I'm a burden. There's days it feels like the bad feelings bubble up and want to explode "Because I'm worthless!" when people ask what's wrong, even though I don't want others to know. Could I get Smoker, (1/2, sorry!!)

(2/2, again so sorry for the length of this!) I wanted to know if I could get Smoker, Shanks, and Benn with an s/o (gn! reader please) along with Whitebeard (fatherly) that accidentally blows up like that and how they comfort or challenge their partner's thoughts. I struggle correcting my own negative thoughts and it'd mean a lot to hear them call them out in a way. Either way, thank you so much for your time and I appreciate you and your blog immensely.

So sorry this took so long, I won’t lie I haven’t been feeling well lately mentally, but I hope you are well and know you are important and so loved!! 💜

Despite his gruff appearance, he has a soft spot for good people, and you are on that list. He struggles with his words and knowing what to say, so he allows his actions to speak for him.

He enjoys quality time and acts of service to let you know how you mean to him. Once he notices the rejection and feelings of worthlessness coming from you, he does his best to spend more time with you, even taking away from work.

Goes silent when you snap at him, reminding himself you are just upset right now and that you need his support during this difficult time. Even if you refuse the hug, pulls you close, telling you how much you mean to him through red cheeks.

Spends the rest of the day, gloved hand petting your head, trying to remind you how important you are to him without expressing those difficult words.

Shanks hates when people criticize or talk badly about his things, and that includes you too! He has no problem putting you in your place when you begin saying mean things about yourself.

He goes out his way to make you see how much he needs you, even if it means hurting himself on “accident” just so you can patch him back up!

Reminds you how much you mean to him and pulls you close to his body. He’s a physical touch lover and wants you to know that sometimes he just needs you and can’t go a day without your hugs. Just one more reason why you are so important to him!

If you still refuse to see things his way, he will give you the stare that terrifies a hundred men, DON’T talk bad about his beloved treasures or feel his wrath!

Benn is a bit more easier to talk to than Shanks when it comes to self-hatred. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care however, rather he understands the feeling and knows nothing he will say can change that.

More of a acts of service doer, so he helps you relieve some stress by making your favorite meal or doing a difficult task you were stressing about.

Let’s you vent out all your frustrations as he smokes a cigarette and hums every once in a while, letting you know he is listening. He knows this emotion is just a phase and will pass, leading you back to wanting to be in his arms soon enough. You just had to work it out of your system first.

When the time comes and you just want to cry in his arms, expressing your anger and frustrations, he opens them wide to let you in. Strong arms working so hard to hold the weight of the world for both of you.

This reminds him so much of Ace, it hurts his old soul. Please don’t go doing something crazy, like sacrificing yourself to feel your validation of being needed and wanted.

Keeps a close eye on you and does his best to be a listening ear when you come for advice or support. But always tells you that you matter in the crew and that he’s proud of you.

Definitely a words of affirmation and quality time seeker. He wants you to know you belong in the crew and will tell you every day if needed. You ARE important, damn it!

Even on his death bed, he reached out and pats your head in a loving manner, reminding you just in that act alone how much you matter to him and that you did him proud. Don’t be so hard on yourself or you’ll make your old man cry.

183 notes · View notes

pumpkzsafeplace · 3 months

Note

🐕‍🦺🖍 Here!

Unfortunately i couldn't make it into college today. I've been struggling with leaving my house as its my safe zone, but i also feel guilty about dissapearing from my friends and moots in college.

Other than that, ive been alright! Im starting to feel a little Puppy atm as i just had a breakdown over not being able to get into college and thats helping a little to calm me down. Im hopefully gonna make a little figure of a golden retriver later as thats how i view myself! :)

- hihi cupcake'! <3 ⭐

aw no honey, i'm sorry you're having an off day honeybee :<

i'm proud of you though for putting yourself first though and not simply dragging yourself in despite not being mentally up to it <3.

i'm sure your friends & moots understand that health comes first, whether it's physical or mental <3.

aw that's adorable!! ~ i hope your little figure turns out well!! <3

& i hope that tomorrow starts out better for you! <3

big big hugs <3

-ˏˋ 🍓 ˎˊ˗

#sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw little community #age regression #agere community #safe agere #agere blog #sfw little blog #agere little #sfw little post #age regression blog #age regressor #age re safe space #sfw post #sfw interaction only #sfw regression #babblecorner #sfw furry

7 notes · View notes

arbor-et-um · 1 year

Text

If you've been living in pandamonium

You may be a trash panda if you're waking up exhausted by your room and other things too probably (This is not a diagnosis, please seek medical advice if you experience symptoms such as lil Grabbies and a very soft tail.) If you're a trash panda, first, I'm so proud of you for continuing to be so punk rock in the face of your mental and physical illnesses, it's really important that you know I see you. (If you're not a trash panda I hope any of this is useful to you as well.)

Trash pandas usually do their snacking in bed or on the move, and they usually fall into a terrible cycle of not having the energy to deal with a situation that's constantly and actively draining their energy. Probably nocturnal by nature but forced by society to adhere to an unnatural "day person" schedule, and definitely overwhelmed, to the extent of possibly even feeling numb all the time due to sensory overload.

You've got a lot of garbage tho, and if you want, you can keep reading and I'll give you some coaching. If you're not in the mood but you're thinking about it just bookmark this or something ok?

Ok. What I want you to do is get a trash bag right now. It can be one you've already started on, or it can be an empty one. Put it up somewhere within arm's reach*, and plop your booty on the floor if you're able to.

*Use your reach extender if you have one and use it regularly. Don't go looking for yours if it isn't EASILY accessible to you, and if you don't have one, there's a good one right here for like fifteen bucks.

If I've just blown your mind and you hadn't even considered getting a reach aid (in the sense that perhaps you are disabled and it hadn't occurred to you that a reach aid would be helpful to you, and that it would be immensely so and you need time to process that), I love you so much, please order one, and gleefully use it as a tool to clean a few days to weeks later when it comes and you're not in unreasonable physical pain cleaning your room. As long as it helps you clean and it DOESN'T end up in your closet and never used and doesn't help you at all and becomes a part of the problem. Take what works and leave the rest, okay?

I love you, now say it back, but out loud, to yourself.

If for any reason you can't put yourself on the floor, easily reach the floor, ask for help, forget the floor for now. Fuck the floor. It didn't get messy overnight, it'll be there tomorrow. I want you to focus on your desk or your bed or your table instead as you've already started and are at risk of losing momentum and as long as you're detrashing any horizontal surface you can reach it will impact your eyes and brain a lot.

If you simply don't have floor space to sit on the floor because of Things In The Floor and that is your only limiting factor to getting down to tushie town, meet the others here by sitting where you normally do and just grab. Grab anything that food came out of. You're not dirty. You're not. Your room is dirty and you are not your room. You are not your actions, your actions are a reflection of your well-being and your state of mind. Put on some YouTube, listen to music, start a podcast or finish an audiobook.

Take frequent breaks for food, water, and hiding in the bathroom for as long as you need, but when you're in your room, you're probably going to be thinking about your trash anyway, so please promise me you'll stop enabling yourself to spend that entire time feeling ashamed of your trash.

If cleaning was used as a punishment for you at any point then you're allowed to feel resentful over your trash's existence, so please be compassionate about your resistance to cleaning. You deserve to walk or drive across your floor without hearing a crinkle or feeling dirt on your feet or having to worry about falling over, especially if it bothers you that you can't.

You might find or recover other things that you don't want to keep on the floor. Pick them up, dust them off, and ask yourself if you put it with the trash because it doesn't actually fill any void for you or if you lost it under the trash and already know where it belongs in your home, and put it where it goes - for now, in a "keep" pile behind you where you're sitting.

When the sphere of space around you is clean, take a moment to be FUCKIN PROUD and do some stretches, and congratulate yourself. Drink some water and decide to stop for now or carry on. Take a picture!!, Look at it for inspiration if that spot gets messy in the future again.

ANYTHING you do at this point is doing one thing and one thing only: giving you a win. Just feel the confidence of knowing you can do this, you really really can. You're allowed to do this in chunks instead of all at once if you allow yourself to. Your space is wherever you put your body and you can do whatever you need to do in that space and I mean that.

If youve been dragon your feet through your clothes

You're a dragon if you don't have a problem with trash in your room, but you do have a problem with clothes, stuffed animals, cords, complain of clutter and other items you really do value being piled on the ground or your bed. It's only really a problem if you're in danger of tripping and hurting yourself or if your treasures make it hard for you to sleep comfortably. (Trash pandas, if you've made it this far, can I hold your hand for 2 seconds so I can cheer with you by throwing our fists to the sky??, Fucking woohoo my guy)

These are your things and you're not bad to or discarding or disrespecting them when you let them end up on the floor and lost in your bedsheets, you're just tired. You're doing a good job and you probably just need more shelves and boxes or box shaped shelves or baskets, and you need to clean your bed off long enough to get one (1) good night of sleep before you start to tackle your room!!!! I don't care if you dump the contents of your bed on the floor just so it so you can starfish. In the morning, you're gonna put your things on the bed again and just get to work. Start with the dishes and step or drive over or around your piles without judgement on your way to and from the kitchen. These are your brain piles man, so let self love win against shame paralysis.

When the dishes are in the sink or dishwasher or on the kitchen counter and not in your bedroom, begin organizing your depressuon den piles into intentional piles. Give the piles mental labels, just a flash word.

Clean clothes

Dirty clothes

Trash

Toys

Paper

Hobby a

Hobby b

Hair ties

Cat toys

Chargers

Make these piles working from left to right. Stop when you need to. Play on your phone for a few minutes or take a food break or a shower and when you come back to the cleaner semicircle of your bedroom, decide to either 1) continue or 2) be done for the day and whichever you choose, just be gentle with yourself. You are mighty and I am proud of you. Your life didn't get messy overnight. Choosing to clean your room when it's THIS hard to clean at all is a really good thing to do for yourself.

When you ARE actively working on your room, I want you to promise me you'll invest your time in making piles and then finding containers for those piles.

Your bedroom being cluttered is. Not. A. Moral. Falling. On your part. Being good or bad at cleaning doesn't make you a good or bad person.

#cleaning motivation #like and reblog for part two: goblins and gremlins

40 notes · View notes

glitchcel · 5 months

Text

15 people 15 questions!!!!

Tagged by @suzufield thank you yay ^^

This is a long one so it's under the cut and also idgaf I love hearing myself talk I love the sound of my own voice!!!!

Not really, my given name is that of a saint like most names from here tbh, but my mom picked it because it's short and she wanted people from everywhere around the world to be able to say it which is kind of cute. I don't have chosen name I have like 3 nicknames people alternate between, one of them is Ani or AniGC which I use on the internet and I don't plan on picking one I think not having a name is cool!

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Nope, too young, and also having my own kids or parenting/fostering is not something I am fit to ever do I don't think I would be a good parent. I'm a lesbian so biological kids are kind of out the window (not really but don't want them regardless, better safe than sorry on this matter I think). I would love to work with kids though at least once in my lifetime.

Genuinely yesterday I love crying I cry all the damn time it helps me fall asleep. What the libs don't want you to know is that depression is actually awesome because you can cry all the fucking time and you don't need sleeping medication! Yay for mental illness!

3. Do you have kids?

4. What sports have you played/do you play?

I did karate for 8 or 9 years from ages of like 6-14, loved it, then I fell down the stairs and fucked up my spine and had to quit. Then I did swimming for a bit but nothing too serious and I quit that because I got bored now I do fuck all.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes a lot but I try to not get too irony poisoned lol, I mostly just say outlandish shit but I do use sarcasm.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I couldn't tell you if you put a gun to my head. I don't fucking know 😭

7. Eye colour?

Brown! ^^

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

This is a strange one I'm not really big on either of these things. When it comes to horror I'm not really a fan of movies I feel like a thing inherently becomes a little less scary when you show it to me or when it's moving you know? Idk I like some of them but I really do enjoy horror books those are awesome. And for the other thing I don't know is it a happy ending for me or the characters? Like I enjoy all plot threads being tied together well but if that doesn't make my fav happy GOOD. Let that bitch suffer. To actually answer the question I think scary movies lmao.

9. Any talents?

Why yes I'm very awesome. Idk I'm a fast learner genuinely that's the biggest thing I've got going on I think almost everything I know I learned on my own accord, it was never given to me, and idk I'm kind of proud of that idgaf if it sounds corny. I can also dislocate my thumb that's kind of cool.

10. Where were you born?

In the hospital (Serbia but I don't like saying where I'm from too much I want to remain a Mysterious Figure On The Computer and now you have to ignore the fact that I frequently post about this)

11. What are your hobbies?

Running the risk of sounding like a loser nerd I love studying I love learning things if I could stay in school for the rest of my life I genuinely would. I love learning how shit works and I'm gonna be honest organic chemistry has been among my favourite things to study ever it's so perfectly logical and awesome one of the best sciences ever for sure. Besides that I like doing fuck all and taking the piss on the internet.

12. Do you have any pets?

Nope! Small apartment and not enough money or time to take care of them. One day I will get a cat though trust.

13. How tall are you?

184cm that's like 6'0" I think?

14. Favourite subject in school?

Idk probably physics. High school level chem was incredibly fucking boring I didn't even have to fart to get good grades. Math and programming were my original beloveds but I fell out of love with them very soon after starting high school due to bad experiences with teachers. So yeah probably physics idk the only subjects I think about at this point are the ones I'll have next year in college I can't fucking wait for atomistics.

15. Dream job?

I feel like a fucking idiot being at my age and telling people I want to be a scientist but like!!!!!! I do I genuinely do!!!! I want to be a researcher and do cool things I want to be entranced by the work I do maybe this sounds so incredibly optimistic because it's likely that if I become a researcher I'll be eating packet noodles for the rest of my life but!! That's my dream!!!

I cannot be assed to tag 15 people I'm sorry also I think everyone and their mom has done this at this point so I'll tag. 3 take it or leave it! Sorry if any of you have done this already 😭. Also if you haven't but don't want to that's fine lmao no pressure

@k-ru-h @viegoinahoodie @schrodingers-catgirl

#THEY LET ME OFF THE FUCKING BUS FINALLY

8 notes · View notes

neverrcryarch · 6 months

Note

🥺 uno reverse ! say something nice about yourself nerd

send a 🥺 and I will write one thing I like about you/your writing/your blog, accepting.

well if i haaave to. no i kid i kid. honestly, i'm so proud of myself and how far i've come. like. in the span of two months i have made a wild amount of progress with my mental and physical health. i love that for me. i'm so happy i got sober because i can fully enjoy writing again. i'm able to really write, focus, put words together ... instead of getting close to black out and writing nonsense. i'm happy that i'm mentally more well because it's easier for me to connect and talk with mutuals ( yes i'm still slow with replies but anyone who has known me for a while knows i've gotten a lot better ). i'm putting my well being first for the first time in well, shit. forever. and that's sick!

#landis speaks.#thank u nonnie <3 #alcoholism //#addiction //#ask to tag.

7 notes · View notes

ecoamerica · 2 months

Text

youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

18K notes · View notes

slasher-male-wife · 2 years

Note

Well, if ya need requests. . .

As the internet knows, I've been having a really tough time and if it's not too much trouble, could I ask for the softest, most comforting thing you can write for Bo and/or Vincent? I hate to bother you but my ex took my self esteem out back and shot it like a sick dog that was being put down. Much love ziggy <333

I know and I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I know how it feels to be crushed after a break up and I hope that this little whatever can make you feel at least a little bit better. I hope this fits what you're looking for. I'm sorry they're a bit short but I can always write more if you'd like me to.

Bo and Vincent Sinclair taking care of a reader struggling with their mental health

Warnings: Nothing I can think of

Vincent Sinclair

If you're struggling mentally Vincent will not let you in the basement. You're not allowed around dangerous materials and dead bodies while you're upset.

He's going to insist you stay in a room upstairs where he will spend a good amount of time with you too. Of course he's going to have to work away from you but he's going to do as much as he can.

If you wanna wear one of his sweaters than that's perfectly fine by him, take this one that isn't covered in wax. He'll give you tons of blankets and pillows and a radio if you'd like. I'm also sure they have a vhs tv that you can watch old movies on too.

Don't even think about moving a muscle because when Vincent gets done with his work he's going to make you some food and spend the rest of the day in bed with you. He'll insist on holding you close to him and feeling you in his arms.

Anything you want to do with him he'll do it. If you want to go get some fresh air he'll take you on a path in the woods together. He wants you to feel as good as you can darling.

He'll shoo away Bo if he comes by to ask what Vincent's doing. It's just going to be you and him, cuddled up together watching funny movies and eating popcorn.

If you want to get out of bed but you don't have the energy he'll legit just carry you. He knows if his brothers see it he's going to get made fun of for it later but he doesn't care at all, you come first.

If you want or need to shower he's going to run you a bath and light some candles for you. Again a radio if you'd like one.

Bo Sinclair

Before Bo goes to you he's going to ask his brothers about how he should help you with your mental health. After getting some advice he's going to be a bit uncharacterisitally soft with you.

He's obviously got to work, but he's going to check up on you every few hours and when he's finally done for the day you're his number one priority.

He's going to spoil the shit out of you. I have a feeling he can't cook well so he's going to enlist help from Vincent to make you something to eat. If you don't feel like you can get out of bed that's fine, he'll bring it to you.

He's going to be very touchy with you. He'll hold you close to his chest and let you rest against him. He'll rub your back for you and keep any comments about you being so clingy to himself, not that he minds of course. He won't tell you but he loves being physically affectionate with you.

He'll encourage you to try to get out of bed to do anything at all. Even if it's just moving to the couch he's still proud of you.

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x you #vincent sinclair x y/n #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x y/n #bo sinclair x you #slasher x y/n #slasher x reader #slasher fanfiction

114 notes · View notes

genderkoolaid · 2 years

Note

experiences w transandrophobia, cw for rape, abuse (mental & physical), also brief touches on me being suicidal and being anorexic & just general horrible fuckery:

i feel like some of these are also just transphobia but reading the other submissions made me think about them. so i thought maybe i'd share. you can just delete this though if it doesn't fit w the theme, dw <3 anyways, when i was younger, i was subjected to csa, from about 4-8 years old. which isn't that bad but years later i learnt it was because i was presenting as very masc from about two years old and he felt he could get away with it because my mother thought i was tainted and horrible and demonic for presenting masculinely. and he was right, he got away with it without my mother intervening until he died. thanks to him i have DID. in my first relationship, i dated a cis man where he abused me for 3 years, treating me as a woman, and misgendering me unless we were with people and if we were he would show me off like some kind of sex object to people. i never said anything because i loved him and he technically never deadnamed me (used a demeaning nickname) and i hated making him mad (bc he beat the shit out of me, i am so stupid /lh). he subjected me to corrective rape time after time after time. when he left me, he outed me to my mother. she tried to kill me with a knife. the police didn't come when i called them (fuck the pigs, all cops are bastards). now my mother shows me off like my ex used to. it triggers me so bad. she tells people how proud she is of her son and how she's always supported my masculinity, and how good of a mother she is. i only very recently learned i am intersex, through old medical documents, and i highly suspect this is why she hated me as a child and told me i was a demon so often. but i can't mention it because shes probably gonna stab me if i do. and i keep trying to kill myself, but she wont take me to hospital because i do it to myself and she's trying "to put me off" doing it. she uses my DID and bipolar to discourage me from transitioning, to the point if i thought of transitioning i had panic attacks. i have to hide my binders in case she steals them, she often has volatile breakdowns where she uses my dysphoria and anorexia to try and suicide bait me. she withholds food from the whole family (including 3 under-teens kids) if she looks through my food and weight records and sees anything has gone up. i genuinely think one day i will die in this house, alone, and that terrifies me. but there's nothing i can do. i'm slowly dying and i will die here and nobody will care.

anyways i had about 47 panic attacks typing this up, so i hope you have a wonderful day, take care, i love your blog i hope you're healthy and well <333

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

And if you ever need a donations/mutual aid post shared, or if you need to vent or anything, please do not be afraid to reach out. I hope for the best for you and your siblings, and I hope you will be able to leave and have the life you deserve.

#m.#ask box #experiences with transandrophobia #rape tw #csa tw #abuse tw #disordered eating tw #attempted murder tw #intersexism #ed tw #eating disorder tw #ableism tw #sanism tw

31 notes · View notes

toonocosm · 1 year

Note

Hello, I saw your post.

First off your art is not 'ugly' nor 'boring'! They are so pretty! and personally I especially love your character design! The colors you pick are just perfect and your art style is really unique, and I mean that in all the positive ways!

Is your art overlooked? ABSOLUTLY! And that isn't a matter of 'do better' No! It's just a mix of not getting good enough luck and that it's hard to gain a following with OCs. Which it's entirely your choice to stick with OCs.

Also your art is very appealing! A lack of following doesn't equal a lack of interest. You haven't been discovered yet. That's all there is to it. That might be even more upsetting, but please don't take a lack of a following as your art not being wanted.

You have one of the best traits an artist can: the emotion in your works. I can physically feel the emotions of your art pieces. I find myself caring about the well being of your characters and I love whenever you post more art. I love seeing it and your characters!

Finally, you said you are burnt out and you have been for years. This makes me think you might want to step away from posting art for a bit. I think you should still draw, assuming it's something you still enjoy, but posting it might have made you start to dislike what you're doing. I don't know exactly what you are going through, but I think something like this might be happening: Putting yourself worth into how people see your art, feeling like you failed because not enough people see your art, accidently thinking your art is only as good as your following, starting to create art not for yourself anymore, etc. If it's like any of these, I think taking a step back from posting can help.

Please remember to take care of your mental health. It's more important than posting art.

Thank you very much <3 I'm very happy that you can see and feel the emotions I put in my characters, putting as much emotion as I can in my characters is what I strive to do.

The thing is though, I already know getting a big following won't help. It's not really about wanting big numbers. It's much more about wanting to feel heard and appreciated, and you don't necessarily get that from a high follower number.

I have a small following here, with the same people frequently liking my art and leaving comments (like you). Those people are the ones I want my brain to focus on and appreciate, so I feel guilty when I fail to do that and still feel overlooked.

Focus on what you get, not what you don't get. You know. And feel like that's enough, that's what I want.

____________________________________________________

My (currently inactive) Instagram blew up a little a few years ago and it just felt empty, it was just shallow micro-interaction and comments with no substance. And I just don't care for these no-substance micro-interactions that social media is built upon, they don't make me feel appreciated or heard. They're no confirmation that people understand what I'm trying to communicate through my art. I mean, they're better than nothing I guess… I guess? Probably. Maybe seeing a high like/follower number is enough of a carrot for other people, but it's not for me. I feel appreciated when I'm heard and have my hard work acknowledged through actual thoughts from people.

And my Instagram blew up because I drew some Minecraft art, and the realization that this social media game is just about having luck with algorithms and drawing what's trendy hit kinda hard. It wasn't about hard work as I had told myself, so there was nothing to be proud of. So why even try, why should I work myself to the bone if that's not how the system works.

So with that said, I'm not judging my worth as a person based on arbitrary numbers on social media sites because it's all a biased luck-based game. I used to before I realized that, but not anymore. But I see how you came to this conclusion based on my post. And it's more like I'm stubbornly only creating art for myself to my own detriment since whenever I draw something like fanart that blows up a little, I don't want to draw it anymore? I don't know. I kinda want to draw more Minecraft stuff, but something is stopping me.

And I've been on a long break, not drawing as much means I naturally haven't been posting a lot either. That distance from the online art world has been good. But what if not having a worthwhile space to share my art is making me not want to draw? If art is communication, which it is for me, then talking but not being heard feels empty and unfulfilling. It's up to me to cultivate the space I'm looking for.

The overanalyzing, second-guessing everything and self-criticism is probably my burnout talking. I don't know... I've been trying to figure out what's going on since 2020.

#ask tag #might keep the previous post up #long post

6 notes · View notes

what-the-hayl · 1 year

Text

A letter to my future self.

Dear You,

Today we are sitting at 79 days NO alcohol! Proud of you dude.

Let's talk about all the accomplishments you have reached up to this point;

You have become a lot more organized, this is very helpful. Less stressed about having to remember everything on the to-do list.

You are calm about nearly everything now, just relaxed and not sweating the small shit anymore like you used to! ( you are noticing dad do it a lot, and chuckle cause why, but remember wow i used to do this a lot too, sometimes i might still catch myself ).

You are really practicing on being more open on expressing your true feelings with people, your honest thoughts, and just allowing some of that guard down. Allowing and accepting who you are, regardless of what people may think.

I feel we have found the girl that we lost sight of for a minute, i can physically feel the awarding like feeling that ive made it, well im making it cause i have so much more to explore and figure out within myself. I'm so excited for this journey of healing.

You read all the time now, weather its from a app, a book, some random piece information i really don't necessarily need to know, knowing too much never hurt anyone right.

You have so much more energy, you are finally showing you give a shit about yourself...you want to even, you look forward to putting yourself together now a days. Know why!? Cause you finally found your beauty that we have struggled to see for some time. Ya know when family members always tell you how *insert compliment* you are, my grandma, aunts, & mom have always told me i'm very pretty. YOU SEE IT AGAIN.

The patience and excitement you sometimes get when you notice another maybe not so healthy response, triggers, like having the patience to help others understand maybe why i have been stuck in bad patterns and habits.

THE POSITIVE mindset you have been maintaining like a bad bitch!! Aint nothing getting to you or in your way now a days!

How much more you are putting yourself first. Amazing what kinda simple changes in your day will do for self, mentally & physically.

Hayley from March 2023, im proud of you. By the time you read this you will have made so many more accomplishments and goals! Im excited to see what all you accomplish the rest of this year.

KEEP LOVING YOURSELF BESTIE<3

#self love #self care #growth #positivity #do better

2 notes · View notes

ecoamerica · 2 months

Text

youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

17K notes · View notes