#idk it just feels cheap. it takes away the impact of them deciding to be better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

falcqns · 3 years

Note

Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff.

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends.

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him.

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly.

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them.

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born.

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you.

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded.

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity.

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger.

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all.

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect.

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine.

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights.

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things.

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal.

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would.

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra.

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend.

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed.

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place.

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how.

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan.

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday.

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out.

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her.

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours.

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye.

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out.

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands.

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did.

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked.

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you.

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed.

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face.

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene.

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along.

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black.

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile.

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home, Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him.

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly.

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face.

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first.

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed.

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter.

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears.

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her.

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face.

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house.

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears.

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently.

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug.

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you.

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you.

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

taglist:

@nerdypinupcrystal @kpopgirlbtssvt

Tag list sign up: https://forms.gle/vRNXmWKEYoDYEoha9

#chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans x you #chris evans actor #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #Chris Evans x singer!reader #5 seconds of summer #ashe #chris evans x female reader #Chris Evans x fiancee reader

639 notes · View notes

bella-donna418 · 3 years

Text

I’m gonna get attacked lol

fiOfficially sacrificing my dignity for this.

Also this check this out because it’s basically everything I say here lol and no, I’m not after credit—but I want to state some of my opinions/thoughts where I’ll use that tweet as my reference.

~~~

Let’s get this done with.

So I was actually rereading the manga all over again, especially the arcs where season 4 that consists of 16? episodes won’t be able to cover.

Will be talking about 122, 137 and 138 (since I’ll be setting them as my reference points for the manga panels)

I love to ask myself questions, but I came upon myself asking;

“What does Ymir want?”

Yes I know that she does want freedom, but thing is;

“What does she really want?”

So imma do a take on this.

(I’m not as big brain as anyone lol srsly I’m already failing at school—but here I am)

~~~

In my POV, what I think she wants is what life is.

Like what does life bring? Why is living life important?

It’s as if she’s asking;

“What do they mean when they say, “Live your life to the fullest?”

In her timeline, growing up in a nature with cruelty and selfishness becoming a norm for people, she starts to slowly see that life is cheap and it could easily be thrown away as long as someone with enough power could do so.

Loving was impossible in such nature.

But one thing seemed to have an impact on her.

A couple kissing, showing their love for each other.

This quite changed her perspective about life, regarding love or feelings for someone.

It was possible.

That no matter how cruel this world is, love will show the beauty of itself.

Because of course, when reading love stories or watching romantic movies we’d see it as beautiful (not all of us, I mean I, myself, find them cringy lol jkjk)

For her, even if it’s just a plain couple kissing, it was big enough to let her know that such thing exists no matter the nature of the world—whether cruel or not.

But let’s take a look at her backstory where she had quite the opposite of what she wants where she waited 2000 years for someone or some people to show her.

1. Freedom (What is its value?)

They said she was “free”, but it turns out it wasn’t freedom at all. She was only used as a tool for people to practice hunting. She was still a slave, a tool to be used for something.

2. Purpose/Meaning of life (Why were we all born?)

In this one, in her times after she got her titan powers, used as a tool for war to crush Marley, she became pregnant and bore the king’s child.

This is why when Maria (assuming it is because it looks like it) was born, she didn’t smile.

She’s probably wondering, “Whats the purpose of being born? To grow up and multiply? To have something to keep living for? Then die?”

Where this was also said by Zeke to Armin:

But I also wonder what Kenny meant by here:

The “something” he said must be what purpose is.

Maybe for Ymir, the reason why she kept going must be because she kept following King Fritz’ orders in order to try to live.

Even when King Fritz was gone, she continued following orders from descendants that were from the bloodline of royal blood (Fritz/Reiss is basically the same thing)

(Ok I just love Kenny lol)

3. Love (What is unconditional love?)

Something King Fritz never showed to her.

She was only a concubine, a low-class for him.

Not his wife—not even a queen to rule by his side.

(Pic also connected to no. 2 lol)

For him, she was still a slave.

Not someone to share mutual feelings with.

Also connecting this no. 2, the king said, “Rise. Work. That is why you were born.” which is clearly her PURPOSE for him and which became her mindset.

(Gurl even she got that titan power, she could never defy him)

~~~

For 2000 years, she must’ve been seeking for the true meaning behind the 3 I have mentioned, why she longed for someone to show them.

For her to see or even experience it herself.

Even watching and knowing what it is will do for her.

Which now brings me to EMA, what they’ve done to show her the meaning of the three.

1. Freedom

My favorite guy, Eren Freedom Yeager—

Anyway, of course the one to show the meaning of freedom will be Eren (too obvious man)

But how did he show it?

Looking back to 122, he clearly said these which made Ymir finally make her first ever choice out of free will.

No she doesn’t want to end this world nor does Eren want to (don’t take their words and actions literally)

“You’re no slave.”

She wasn’t a slave out of her choice, it was their system from before that brought her to being one.

“You’re no god.”

When she got her titan powers, it’s as if she was a walking goddess who had a choice to crush Marley out of the Eldian king’s prayers or something.

Basically if you prayed and prayed (depends on any religion if you do this, BUT for me, this is what I do lol) you’ll get your wish.

And his wish was to crush Marley using her power.

Which she clearly did making her look like a goddess or something in the range.

“You’re just a person.”

Now this.

This is when Ymir finally got what she also longed for, someone to treat her as a human, not a tool to win wars, not to be a tool to use to bear the king’s children.

What was something Eren gave her to have be described as “showing her what freedom is”?

Eren gave her the right to choose whether to stay or end it all.

Knowing Ymir would still need an order to do so (idk I assume it again lol), Eren decided to order her to have her own free will and decide for herself. (Violet Evergarden intensifies)

And of course, since she was asked and given the right to choose, she picked the one where she feels like a better choice—end it all.

“You must have been waiting all this time. Waiting 2000 years just for someone.”

Yes, Eren. She’s been waiting 2000 years for you to show her what the value of freedom is and what it is like to decide on your own instead of following orders.

Her reaction to it.

It was a reaction of being glad that finally, after years of waiting, someone finally understood her and treated her as a human—someone who doesn’t see her as a tool to do something—not a fodder.

She finally understood the value of freedom, what it’s importance to life is.

So she could choose things she’ll regret the least or what she thinks is the right call in a situation.

2. Purpose/Meaning of life, what makes it beautiful?

In this one, let’s recall 137.

Armin and Zeke’s conversation.

So while Armin and Zeke while talking to each other about what is life’s purpose and all those stuff—I’m assuming Ymir was listening to their conversation.

And maybe it wasn’t only Zeke who realized this, but Ymir as well.

That even if times could be cruel and you’d rather be doing the same thing, as long as it makes you happy, you’d still find yourself smiling despite being hurt by the world.

Since I assumed Ymir was listening to this, she finally understood that even something as simple and meaningless to others, as long as it meant something for you, it deserves to be cherished even if it were simple and boring to the eyes of others.

She finally understood another thing that makes life beautiful.

It’s the memories you made and cherished that could be your strength to move on and how life deserves to be seen all throughout—even if the world despises you.

That you set the purpose of your life, not others, because you have the freedom to do so.

She might’ve not experienced this, but at least she heard it from someone who did and what their thoughts about it were.

3. Love

And then this.

Something that she also wanted to see for herself.

She wanted to know if it was indeed possible to love in this cruel world.

If you can still love someone who decided to let you go to become a monster for others.

And with a simple act such as “kissing” (ignore the fact it’s a severed head gfdi), it made her believe that through life, you could find someone to share mutual feelings with, to love someone.

And how it’s not easy to live life without someone to love.

Because a loved one is your source of strength.

Your motivation to anything.

And this exactly made her smile.

She saw it herself, unconditional love.

Even if they became a monster—or is a monster—as long as you love them, you’d be able to forgive them and show them that for you, they’re a human.

~~~

Let’s see what Ymir did after getting things she have longed for.

So since Eren showed her what it’s like to decide for your own, she helped him by lending her power to him.

For Armin, he showed/told her that life itself has a meaning and purpose and that is yours to decide what it would be, and the beauty of the memories you cherished.

Therefore, she helped him by letting past titan shifters fight with them in order to stop the rumbling.

But what would she do for Mikasa? Since she’s smiling, I assume it was because she finally completed the puzzle she’s been trying to solve ever since.

And it was about what life truly is and why people were born in the first place.

Manifesting my answer would be on ch.139 of what she’d do for Mikasa.

~~~

Goodbye my dignity I did something so dumb I’m embarrassed.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #attack on titan #snk spoilers #why tf did I do this #ymir fritz #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #eren jaeger #istg this is dumb #correct me if I'm wrong #nvm i'm always wrong lol #this don't make any sense owo

49 notes · View notes

painted-crow · 4 years

Note

What does being a badger primary feel like? I think at this point I understand lions and snakes and I mostly get birds too, I just really don't understand badgers. Do you care about literally everyone? Or like a specific group? How can you care about everyone equally? How do you pick between loyalties if you do? Like the stranger v. closest friend question on the quiz, how did you react to that?

I'm a Bird and I only model Badger, but

- yes you care about people in general and do your best for them

- you care about people because they are inherently valuable

- you can be more emotionally attached to certain people for sure, but you'd feel bad if you acted unfairly in their favor

- those in the most need usually get priority

- I usually pick "I'd feel equally bad either way" for that question. Equal is a very... unequivocal word for that? Feelings are complicated? But it's a pretty close call.

- Caring for and about other people, any people, is something that can be incredibly meaningful and fulfilling. You're putting positive change in the world, and that's a fantastic remedy to the learned helplessness a lot of us feel (that's a can of worms).

- if you care about *too* many people's problems all the time, you can drive yourself to exhaustion, especially if you care about a lot of people whose situation you can't actually change. I know this because I've done that.

It can help to put qualifiers on who you're going to focus on: only people in your local area, for example, or only your blog community, or only people who need something you're specifically good at or equipped for.

You can still care about everyone and help people outside those guidelines sometimes, this doesn't have to be a Burning or anything; it's just that you're recognizing where you can have the most impact, which is a good take for your mental health. You're not the only one who cares about helping people, so let others take care of those you can't do much for, and put your energy into the things you have leverage over. (But this might be a very Bird primary take. Idk.)

For an example of what Badger can look like... here's a story that probably says some stuff about me but I'm posting it anyway.

The chocolate bar blizzard story

A few years ago, during the worst part of winter and the dead of night, I was both 1) awake and 2) being held hostage by depression brain's demand for cupcakes. I finally gave in, put on real clothes, went down to my car, scraped 4 inches of snow and ice off my windshield (there was a *lot* more on the ground, this was just what had accumulated since I last drove) and went out on icy roads, during a blizzard, to go to Walmart for cupcakes.

I did mention that this says some things about me.

I got to Walmart, tried not to slip on the parking lot, went inside and immediately started dissociating and wandering around, as one does. Cupcakes went in the cart. I don't remember what else, but I was there for maybe an hour until I spotted a stranger making a beeline for the bathrooms.

I got a glimpse of her face. Reader, I get panic attacks sometimes and I know one when I see it--the vibe can be summarized as "hold it together until I can hide." She ducked into the bathroom and I decided that I needed to stop wandering around and buy this lady a chocolate bar right now. So I did.

You would have thought nobody had ever done something nice for her before. She started crying over this cheap Hershey's bar, incredulous that a stranger at 3am in a Walmart would care about her. Then she caught me in the parking lot and gave me another hug and a loaf of cinnamon bread off her truck (she crossed the icy parking lot twice extra for this!).

She told me she'd been driving here from a city several hours away, and I went "...oh" because: ...in the dead of night... on icy highways... during a blizzard (you could see about ten feet in front of your vehicle, maybe). I started to get why she might have had a panic attack in a Walmart at 3am.

Ummmm so,

Be nice to truck drivers

Some people really do not expect you to care about strangers and are way taken aback by even tiny acts of kindness

Make friends with chaotic good weirdoes because we have stories

Badgers are pretty cool :)

#sortinghatchats #hufflepuff primary model #hufflepuff primary #asks #paint speaks

13 notes · View notes

imaginedisish · 5 years

Text

Just Like Heaven (Colin Ritman x Reader) (Bandersnatch)

A/N: It felt so good to write again. Holy CRAP I MISSED IT. Please give me some requests! This wasn’t a request someone gave me, but something I actually requested another fic writer to write. I don’t even remember who…but enjoy! (ps I had so much trouble staying in the present tense. it’s soooo much easier and comfortable to write in the past tense like woah) (and yes this is a The Cure reference for all my New Wave fans) (Also it’s 2:28am where I’m at so if there are grammar mistakes and mess ups and stuff i’m SO SORRY)

Warnings: Some language, references to drug use, overload of fluff?? I think that’s it.

Summary: AU!(idk when)Colin picks you up from dance, and to your surprise comes in to watch. Things get…interesting to say the least. (word count: 1,617 i think)

“Come on ladies! Hit those turns!” That was practically all your teacher screamed throughout class. You couldn’t wait to get out of dance; Colin was picking you up. You two had been dating for a short while now, but it felt like you’d known him your whole life. It was something special, something you had never felt with anyone else before him.

You looked over to the clock. It was 3:25. Just five minutes left, you reminded yourself. Five minutes until you were with Colin.

On the same wall as the clock was a cheap, one way mirror. Your dance studio owner put it there so parents with younger children could watch their kids dance during class without distracting the kids. It was completely useless, since you could easily make out shadows and shapes through it, sometimes even whole people, which entirely defeated its intended purpose.

Suddenly, you hear the studio door creak open. Through the fake one way mirror, a tall, slender figure waltzes into the lobby, and sits down on the sofa. You could make out his shape from a mile away.

It was Colin.

He adjusts his glasses, and leans back. It’s almost clear that he’s making eye contact with you. He smirks, and slowly places his hands behind his head.

Oh god no, today of all days he decides to come in, you think to yourself. You weren’t on your game at all today. Your pirouettes were totally off, your grand jetes were not as high as usual, and your fouettes were a sloppy mess. You expected more from yourself, especially since you were the lead in the dance.

“(Y/N)!” Your head spins to face your dance teacher. “We are going from the top! Are you going to stop staring into space and focus now?” Heat flushed to your cheeks from the embarrassment of being screamed at by your teacher, but you nodded, accepting your mistake nevertheless.

You took your position in the center of the room, and began to prepare yourself for the beginning of the number. Please don’t suck this time…please just do things right…do. not. fuck. up, you thought to yourself.

The music began to play, and you tried your best to concentrate. The number was “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago. The way your teacher choreographed it was relatively raunchy, more raunchy than the original, and you were almost nervous for Colin to watch it. However, you seemed to be doing better this time than any other time before.

“Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!” You fluidly moved across the black floor, hitting every pose, every position, every jump and every turn much better than you had been before Colin’s appearance.

The music slowed down, and it was time for your section. Your heart jumped into your throat.

“My sister, Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband, Charlie, traveled round with us…” You continued, sexily strutting across the floor, executing every move with relative ease, all while lip-sinking to the mirror as if it was the audience. Even the other girls in your class were entranced by your performance.

“I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie, doing number seventeen…” you nail a triple pirouette, “…the spread eagle,” and then slowly slide down into a perfect, yet suggestive split. You continued on, pushing through the center split and onto your stomach, and rolling over to stand up.

The rest of the dance went on relatively well. Still, you knew you could’ve done better.

“Good job today ladies!” Your teacher exclaims as you grab your things to leave the studio. Her compliment most definitely did not apply to you, you think to yourself. “Keep practicing at home!” But that one most definitely did.

Your class thanks the teacher, and quickly rushes out the door. You walk down the hallway and spot Colin’s platinum blonde hair among the crowd of ponytails and buns that had flooded the grey lobby in a hurry to leave the building.

Colin makes eye contact with you, and immediately smiles widely. He waves, and you wave back.

Eventually, after pushing through some of the bunheads in your class, you make it to Colin. You fall into his arms almost instantly, groaning in exhaustion and annoyance. He wraps his arms around you in return, kissing the crown of your head lightly.

“I’m sorry, I must be a sweaty, disgusting mess,” You giggle into Colin’s chest.

“Do you really think I care?” He says back to you sarcastically. You can’t help but smile at his remark. He pulls you away from him, grabs your hand, and guides you through the sea of dancers that stand in the lobby.

You and Colin make your way through the parking lot, and walk towards Colin’s lime green, vintage 1983 Ford Capri S. He loves that car way too much, but there’s just something about it that screams Colin.

He quickly runs in front of you, and opens the car door for you.

“I can open doors for myself, you know. This isn’t the 1800s, Colin,” You remark, smirking at your wittiness.

“I can’t be a gentleman for once?” Colin says, rolling his eyes jokingly, waiting for you to get into the car so that he could close the door. He closes the door for you, and cooly slides over the hood of the car to get to the other side.

Once he’s in the car, he places “Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me,” by The Cure on cassette into the cassette player. You were amazed that he was able to find the album on tape, given the fact that it was hard to find in any other medium. But of course, it was Colin, and he never ceased to amaze you in the first place. He pulls out of the parking spot, and begins drive away from the studio.

“I didn’t want to say it in there, I figured the brainless bunheads would flip their shit,” Colin says, laughing, “but my god you were absolutely amazing in that dance!” Colin exclaims, beaming with happiness. You shook your head. You were so disappointed in your performance, it was probably the worst you had danced in a while.

“I’ve done it so much better before, Colin. And at least five of those brainless bunheads are more talented than I’ll ever be,” you say back to him as you approach a red light.

Then, you feel his hand on your thigh. His face turns to face yours.

“That’s impossible. You have to see the bigger picture. You have more stage presence than any other girl in that room. You stand out. You’re so special, (Y/N), you’re incredible,” the corners of his mouth slowly curl up into a kind grin. He’s so amazing, just so spectacularly perfect, you think to yourself.

Even when you feel like you are at your worst, Colin makes you feel like you are at your best. He’s addicting, a drug you can never get enough of. No. In fact, he is better than getting high, even though you two do that from time to time together.

You smile back up at him. Before you can even think about what to say next, the words spill out of your mouth.

“This is why I’m in love with you.” It isn’t until after you say those words that you realize the impact of what you just said. Neither of you have said the “L” word yet. It was something you just haven’t gotten to. Colin glares at you, showing no real emotion.

You internally face palm, feeling like you just made the biggest mistake of your life. Of course Colin doesn’t love you. There was no way he could ever love you. It was impossible. He was just too perfect. You were about to cry, right here, right now, in THE Colin Ritman’s car, on THE Colin Ritman’s vintage leather seats.

His eyes refuse to leave yours, his hand still on your thigh. You turn away from him in embarrassment. You feel heat creeping up your cheeks. You didn’t have to look in a mirror to tell your face was growing indescribably red.

“Green light,” You state factually, trying to ignore your mistake.

Colin was still saying nothing. He hadn’t move the car yet either. He just continued to stare at you. You turn to face him again, tears filling your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” You choke. “I know it’s early. I shouldn’t have said anything. I get it and i- ” Before you could finish your sentence, Colin takes his hand off your thigh, and places your chin between his index finger and his thumb. His eyes look down to your lips, and he captures them in an intense, passionate kiss that would make any girl melt.

He pulls away, looking deeply into your eyes. You search his crystal, blue eyes for some sort of an answer.

“Never apologize for saying that, ever,” Colin commanded. “Do you understand?”

You nod in reply.

“Because,” Colin pauses, swallowing, his adams apple bobbing, “because I’m in love with you.”

He pauses for a second. Then, he cups your cheeks, pulling you into another long, slow, and passionate kiss. You wish the kiss could last forever, but it’s cut short by the honking of a horn from the car behind you.

Colin cranks down the window, and nonchalantly sticks a middle finger out.

“Colin!” You try reprimanding him, but it’s no use. Colin simply chuckles loudly, and you laugh with him. He finally takes his foot off the break, and begins to drive again.

Just like heaven, you think to yourself.

It really was…it was just like heaven.

322 notes · View notes

heldholy-blog · 5 years

Text

NOW THAT I’M NOT QUITE SO painfully hungover , i thought i’d pop a few intros up and introduce myself properly ! i’m meg , i’m 20 , i use they/them pronouns right now and i’m writing out of the aedt ! i’m just starting my second year of university , and i’m so , so , so keen to get writing with y’all ! this is the first of three intros , so keep ya’ eyes peeled --- --- --- - so without further ado , let’s get into it !

BERTRAND , COLETTE ISOBEL . forensic pathologist . due to personal reasons , she’ll be ignoring any and all conversations about family . the bags under her eyes are , in fact , chanel .

it’s always a tragedy, when a child grows up with a complete absence of love and affection from the two people who are meant to bestow it the most. colette bertrand knows this firsthand - daughter of an once-great algerian starlet and a french director who inadvertently heralded the downfall of her career, her parents barely show each other anything other than hostility. now that she looks back on it, majority of her life choices are heavily impacted by her early childhood.

she learned to raise herself, because her parents made it increasingly apparent that they weren’t going to do it. her mother yearned for her lost fame, pursuing auditon after audition and turning to cheap affairs with sleazy directors to get what she wanted. her father was absent in all but physical form; he spends all his time working, comes home only to shut himself in his office, and barely speaks a word to his own daughter.

in truth, colette wasn’t a planned pregnancy. she was a surprise, a miraculous conception born of a quickie in the back of a trailer. neither wanted children, but her mother couldn’t bring herself to get rid of the child. instead, despite all their differences, they got married - not because they loved each other, but because they had both been the product of similar situations. in the first trimester, her mother swore to give her unborn child a life so different from her own. oh, how the mighty fall.

colette raises herself in libraries around paris. she dedicates herself wholly and purely to her education, uses it as a coping mechanism when her parents fight, uses it to drown out the sound of a family that crumbles around her. she finds an interest and immense talent for biology, and decides to run with it and see where it takes her.

at eighteen, she gets into the sorbonne to study criminology and forensic science. the day after she receives her acceptance letter, she packs a small collection of belongings into the back of her car and moves out of the family home. her emancipation brings about a joy she never thought she’d be able to feel ; she spends her first night alone laughing, smiling to herself and drinking cheap wine that makes her head spin.

allow me to derail for a moment: colette is, by nature, an incredibly cold, distant personality and admittedly, it’s not by choice. growing up, she only really saw those kinds of personalities and had little to no role models to teach her otherwise. her temperament is entirely a product of nurture; she doesn’t mean to come off as snappy and as aloof as she does, it’s just how she was raised.

all throughout her university career, colette proves herself time and time again. she works harder than anyone else in her courses, dedicates her entire being to her work. she works herself to the bone but instead of finding exhaustion in it, finds an immense joy. she loves being tired, working as hard as she does - she finds it to be a sign of her complete dedication.

once she graduates ( at the top of her class, which surprises absolutely fucking no one ), she starts working. initially, she thinks about joining the police, but ends up in forensic pathology and the minute she starts work, it’s a match made in heaven. she loves her work, and once again, throws herself into it, heart and soul. her colleagues wonder about her - they worry about how exhausted she looks, whether she remembers to eat, but she shrugs their concerns away with a flippant wave of a hand and the hint of a smile.

eventually, paris feels too small and she feels the need to travel - it’s a cliche, but she throws a dart at a map and ends up in phoenix, arizona. she doesn’t tell anyone when she moves, instead choosing to quietly resign and pack her belongings. she’s gone every bit as quietly as she came, and she has yet to regret leaving france.

she sticks out like a sore thumb in the southwest, all thick accent and french sensibilities. she picks up work quick enough, and moves into an apartment building she’s yet to leave. she’s been there for the best part of two years now, and loves it.

in terms of her personality, i’ll say it again: she’s distant, cold, aloof, comes off as a bit of a blunt asshole sometimes but it’s a product of nurture. she’s decided to actively try to better herself, to start smiling and willingly listening to people’s complaints and sometimes she slips up and falls back into bad / blunt habits but she’s actively trying.

did i mention: thickest accent ever.

idk man i just really fucken love colette and i’ll defend her curt ass any day of the fucking week

#━━━ ˊ * ❀ (𝑛𝑢𝑡)𝑚𝑒𝑔 . ︵ ooc .#i didnt even TRY formatting that biography bc it wouldve taken years #n i just want 2 write and get these done while i have motivation #phx.intro

2 notes · View notes

theinsanecrayonbox · 7 years

Text

the great FOP review mega dump

ok so apparently the rest of s10 was aired at the end of June through July of this year. now granted, i do not get NickToons and used a friend’s DVR to record it, so there’s a margin for error, but i don’t recall any of these episodes ever getting recorded. i could be wrong, my memory sucks, BUT TVGuide is stupid and has a habit of putting the wrong names/numbers on things and if the guide doesn’t list the episode as new because half of it already aired, then it wouldn’t get recorded. so again, huge margin for error.

basically, i hadn’t posted these yet because i didn’t realize they’d aired; i was trying to avoid spoiling anything for people. Nick sucks at their programming schedule. these first viewing reviews are nearly a year old in some cases, since it was about a year ago that i was given links to watch some of these online after they’d aired in other countries. so yeah, probably a little dated, might not hold up, but here they are so we can be done with this.

Which is Wish:

Chloe is a vegetarian??? Has this been said before??

I feel like everything in the garage there was in the attic when Dad made Timmy clean that out before…not that that isn’t plausible, since that’d be one way to “clean” the attic lol. Just thought it was a neat commentary.

But yes Chloe, unleash your organizational skills. Color coded labels are awesome! Cleaning sucks, but labels lol

And yes, switching bodies always works so well doesn’t it Timmy…but heehee he called Chloe pretty XD though in fairness…doesn’t this mean Chloe is still eating the meat, because Tim’s in her body…or do they just *look* like one another? See, that’s the gray area…

Ok I do not like all these moments of Dad seeing Cosmo and Wanda; they’re glossed over yes, but still. That should break Da Rules though, because they’ve been revealed (not to mention Crocker knows about them a million times over I know). it just seems like a cheap gag that they don’t need, and it’s annoying.

“Chlimmy Turnermicheal” lol, I need to draw a fusion of my Opals now XD;;;

Ok yes, they’ve body swapped, not glamoured, so Chloe *did* eat the meat after all, thank you for explaining that

Seriously, it’s Cosmo loosing the wands (for the umpteenth time) that is going to cause the problems here -.-

Yay more Chloe parents! They aren’t 1 or 2 offs! Though…why were they absent up until this point? Did they decide to take a sabbatical from work after the booby incident? That’d be nice

OMR Danny, Vlad (wait nasty Dan? Hu oh well), and Dudley puppets. That is too cute for words!!

And a Little Shop joke. Eeeeeeee!!! I know they’ve done man-eating plants before, but still!

Chloe’s dad faints at failure? Hm, that could be useful.

Tim admitting he’d miss Chloe is sweet, especially since it wasn’t with any mention of loosing his fairies

Hahahaha dressing up as each other/themselves, that’s great. Cosmo’s head blowing up is getting old though.

All in all I give this episode a huge A+. It is a cliché trope of a plot, but I feel it was executed really really well!! Nice balance of magical aspects with non-magical ones I thought, and gave development to both kids and their families.

Fairy Con:

Ok first of all, I thought Fairy conventions were held every thousand years or so, and was actually just for the fairies. Granted, this “Fairy con” could be a different event OR they changed the event after Timmy’s bathroom one, since that could’ve been the first time a godchild was involved? Also, Timmy is you go “every year” that shows that this is at least 2 years after you got your fairies (because you had Cosmo Con, then assume one after that, then at minimum this one), so why are you still 10?????? (and don’t go saying “the time stopping wish in secret wish” because uhg)

Crocker in the fridge….ok…but adding in Crocker to crash the Con…yeah this is a complete plot reusing of Cosmo Con, just updating it a bit

Look Girlfriend the cat isn’t dead!!

If you’ve had their hair samples for that long why haven’t you cloned them before?? But “off brand cloning machine” is sorta funny. Also, Kenny G? that a Spongebob shout out or not?

Ok if it merged the cat DNA with the fairy why didn’t it merge the fairy DNA together too? Also, missed your mark to have a real “fairy cat” show up (though no Sparky so we don’t need it anymore I guess)

Oh but Chloe’s enthusiasm over her first con, I am so happy at that ^^ I just had my first comic con, and I was spazzing like that too when I wasn’t freaking out over being ditched and lost.

Ok that is yet ANOTHER unique birthday for Timmy. He’s up to what, 5 now since the series started? (Boys in the Band, Birthday Bashed, Birthday Battle, the one mentioned in Birthday Battle about the dinosaurs) the kid is at least 14 now, he has to be!

I like all the backgrounders. Some look super squashed, but still neat.

Tooth fairy returns! Yay! We had mentions of Cupid and Mother Nature before, so it’s nice to see the magical celebrities are still around and not forgotten.

Ahhh! The return of the Crocker Pot which captures fairies!! Ok I am giving this writing team an A- on doing their lore homework because they are getting so many things right (though the Fairy Con being thrown off is still deducting points sorry)

There was a blonde fairy that looked like Samantha in the background O.o

“Chloe Carmichael, any normal person would give up right now. But you are NOT normal!” - omr Chloe I love you and your “never quit” song was good and humorous, I still love you

Timmy how can you not know what Crocker is up to? He’s always up to the same exact thing. If he’s in Fairy World, I’m fairly sure there is a 1000% chance he’s there to capture fairies. Geeze.

OMR Princess Morebucks was in the seats at Cosmo’s panel, I’m not joking.

All in all, it wasn’t a giant impacting story, but it was a good one, even though it was a total reusing of a plot. I feel like the writing team did their homework pretty decently (for the most part). Plus, the magic of cons ^^

The Hungry Games:

This is the B-Story to Fairy Con…interesting choice…more fangirl!Chloe…

I love her “Katniss hair”, heck I just love seeing alternate hair on her

Heh “Ketchup Everdream”, wow, ok, sure

That might be the wrong movie, but it sounds interesting. What movie was that Cosmo?

Aw Chloe lost…but yay call back to screaming in her closet

Lol Crocker is once again, king of dystopian world. That is perfect. This is all perfect. Maybe it’s because I liked the Hunger Games movie that I can thoroughly enjoy this parody, idk. But this is great. I am loving this episode.

And cue the pointless Dad part…wait Mr Bickles?? Where have you been?? Why are you here???

I like the blonde/pink haired backgrounder

I really loved this episode! It was so nice how Timmy did this for Chloe and stuck with it even when it was bad for him, then she turns around and does something nice for him at the end. It let Chloe fly her freaky fangirl flag on so many levels. Like I said, I liked Hunger Games, so this was a great parody that was loads of fun. I really really enjoyed all of it.

As a whole episode, these two really show us what a geeky girl Chloe is I think. She’s not just the over achieving little Ms Perfect she was at first, she’s got her weird hobbies and obsessions too. And the fact that she was so into Fair Bears AND dystopian doomy future really says a lot about her, and really speaks to me on many levels. It’s just solidified my love of Chloe even more.

Dimmsdale Daze:

And we start off with jokes about barfing…well it is a roller coaster so I can let it slide…just don’t spiral out of control with them…

Heehee “vines” joke, that’s great. Because it highlights their age AND that they are more naturalist

Oooo Connie said “shyster”, that’s pretty borderline…

Chaining yourself to the tree in town…wouldn’t that be the same tree that Tootie did the same thing to in the first live action movie? I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing…

Did Chloe’s middle name change? O.o but lol to the “when you’re a parent you can make the decisions” because I head canon them meddling after Chloe’s divorce, but I know that line is the plot fodder, so I’ll just push the head canons away for now

Lookit that adult!Chloe though!! I’m not that far off the mark with my design (plus you know, there are several older!Timmy designs and none are more true than the other, so my older!Chloe being short and bustier is still plausible). And hey lookit! Cameo of the adult!Timmy from Big Problem AND confirmation that if one of the godkids breaks Da Rules they both loose the fairies TOGETHER

Neither Clark nor Connie really look too much like Chloe as children (ok Connie *does* but when you consider they made child Dad look exactly like Timmy before, it’s not quite enough)…just another tick in my adopted column, just saying…

Why did that child in the bounce house have lipstick O.o

Chloe’s earring is like, in the wrong place and it’s bothering me…

“But I have the mind if a child” “It’s true, he’s been tested” – I…wow, just…yes?

And of course Connie and Clark get assigned Cosmo and Wanda, I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming honestly ^^;;

You know, even though this is sort of a rehash of Big Problem and The Switch Glitch I thoroughly enjoyed this one! Single mom!Chloe was great, it feeds my future headcanons. It proved that Tim and Chloe do share the negative effects of the fairies. And it was just a really good Chloe episode that Timmy was just a supporting character in. I really did like it. A+

As a whole, I think both parts (this is meant to be paired with Spring Breakup) work nicely together. It’s a lot of Chloe and her family, so if you want some serious Carmichael development, do for this set most definitely.

Chip off the Old Crock:

Ok before getting into this one, I just gotta state that since I read the description for it, I’ve been ITCHING to see this. How does Crocker have a nephew if he has no siblings? (*current thoughts: i’ve since this review come up with a plausible scenario*) What would this child be like? How could I use him for Superverse conveniently?? And then I saw screencaps and saw that he was a mini Crocker and got disappointed…

But now we are to watch so let us see how that unfolds…

What’s with that redheaded backgrounder?? He looks like a Lebowitz!! *files that away for layer usage*

Still laughing that he’s named Kevin since that is a “name of evil” in our games and what not ever since my brother used it as a placeholder name for a badguy in a storyline; ever since then “Kevin” had been the badguys who are sorta pointless lol

But still…”study abroad” um…you still could’ve used that since Crocker obviously has family in Canada; studying in California would then be considered “abroad” if he was Canadian. And that way, he wouldn’t have to be his literal nephew, but his 2nd cousin, but they just call each other uncle/nephew because it’s easier. That might sound confusing, but at least it makes more sense then just randomly implying he has siblings when he never has. I’m gonna headcanon this from now on, and no one can convince me otherwise. (*current thoughts: again, i’ve figured it out since writing this; i’ve left the original thoughts though to prove my though process from point A to point B*) Plus you miss out on Canada jokes this way…

Awww Kevin, I’m starting to love you…that’s weird…

Everyone pick a partner-no one pick Kevin, classic. However…redhead boy had 2 partners, why didn’t Crocker notice and stop that? There’s no reason why Chloe and Tim needed to pair up with him aside from plot relevance…

Ah sweet Chloe, standing up for the misunderstood and outcast, trying to find the good in them and make others see it too. I love you sweetheart ^^ go make friends with Francis now please

Why isn’t Dolores fawning over Kevin? You’d think she wouldn’t let her *grandson* out of her sight, considering the coddling we’ve seen her give Denzel at times. Unless she’s busy with her *other child* I guess…but in that case why isn’t she belittling Denzel for not being like *his sibling* and having kids and not living in her basement? I’d love to see Denzel look like a looser compared to this *sibling* he suddenly has, and it suits the family dynamic as we know it. Or perhaps the *sibling* is more of a looser, but Dolores still sings their praises because they did move out and have a kid, unlike Denzel who has a steady job and whatnot because *sibling* is a total bum. I mean, I get that it would only slow down the storyline, but it just feels out of character, plus the sudden introduction of a *sibling* just is wrong too…I should stop analyzing the Crocker family and just go back to the actual plot

Kevin wants to be a dentist??? O.o are you related to Dr Bender??? That…would explain nothing honestly, idk why I went there

“Sorry I’m too busy being a loner” haha that’s a good one

Hey callback to Crocker wearing ladies clothes. Nice.

“It’s a blueprint so shouldn’t it be blue?” hahaha that was funny

Chloe how did you get to the top of the rock wall without a rope?? Did you boulder your way yup there?? And Tim! You should never rock climb without a belier(sp?) geeze, rock climbing 101 there dude

And toilet joke…but I will let it slide because I am actually enjoying Kevin

“Unleash your inner looser” omr yes best line

Ah the build up to the betrayal “aw you guys actually like me” “well yeah you’re not evil” *does the evil thing* “we hate you now because you are evil after all”

Unsuspecting Van is back whoot!

Ninja!Chloe and Tim with a light saber; nice, but what a missed opportunity…also Chloe has a ninja suit…she really is replacing Tootie isn’t she…

And Kevin saves the day by wishing none of this ever happened…just like Chester did in Fairy Idol hm…

But at the end of it, I’m actually very surprised how much I liked this despite all its flaws. It’s riddled with clichés and huge plot holes/continuity errors, but I genuinely liked Kevin (and whole heartedly look forward to writing him into Superverse…also would it be too weird if he was Kyler’s father? I think it’d be weird…). I think it’s a nice B-story to Cat and Mouse and together they make a pretty good episode.

Space Ca-Dad:

Off topic a moment here; rewatching the theme and it just dawned on me…maybe there’s a “fairy shortage” because no one’s enforcing the rules over fairies being revealed/discovered. I mean, if everyone Timmy knows knows about his fairies and yet he keeps them, then other kids must be doing that too you know. Just saying Jorgen, you caused this problem yourself man…and honestly, why not outsource the fairy jobs then to other magical creatures, since Fairy Idol proved any magical creature can be converted to a fairy godparent. It’d be a great way to bring Norm back if you stop and think about it, or a way to get the Pixies back in there too. I’m just saying, the “fairy shortage” story is pretty weak…still think Jorgen just did this to them because they’re good for each other…

Ok back to the episode itself

Yay Chloe is still a Squirrely Scout, good for continuity! And you love food puns? i love you more Chloe, you so are a Catman related heroine aren’t you ^^;

Did he say “Mrs Lipshitz” or “Mrs Libwitz”? it was really hard to tell, so idk if that’s a Rugrats shout out or someone I have to add to my Lebowitz family tree (cause slurred sound…and the witch/mental thing does suit the family…)

Dad you had the rank of “flying squirrel” why is this confusing??

Ok there are “Pickles” living on the street, I’m going with Lipshitz. So many Rurgrats shout outs.

Whinny kid, Kid with issues (aren’t you Kevin?), and Stuart…so we are going with the latest (and suckier) Squirrel Scout troop line up. Kay.

Chloe as a jr. astronaut though and knowing how to fly space ships ^^

Heehee “Space Jam” how many more thinly veiled references can we have XD;;

(maybe Squirrely Kevin is Kyler’s father…that’s doable…)

Ah yes, Dad throwing the fairies out just when the kid/s need them. Yup, never seen that plot device used before nope. And how can rocket fuel destroy magical wands? They’re fairy magic, why are they so easy to ruin??

How did you find a planetoid when you were heading towards the sun??? I don’t…right, why put logic into things, my bad

The Glorg. Florgatron-5. Hm…*files that way for layer usage* Bakersfield???

I loved all the aliens at the restaurant though.

Over all, this episode was…meh. I didn’t dislike it, but it was a very pointless Dad episode. Seriously, you could’ve had them go to the Planet of the Dads and do pretty much the same thing, but at least keep that storyline going (since I think it’s the longest running one now). I’m unimpressed, but I’m not disappointed. So lets see if the B-story can save the episode as a whole.

Summer Bummer:

“The looks of psychotic anticipation” lol, well we’re starting off with some good

Also it’s summer vacation yet again. Mk…this makes it at least the 4th summer vacation Tim’s had, what with School’s Out, Shelf Life, and Microphony being the others I can easily site off the top of my head. So again, these children should be like 14-16 now

It’s the return of Dad in short-shorts. Oh man, run and hide now.

Chloe getting a summer internship/scientific program is very her. Must always be learn…wait did she say the corner of a basement?? O.o that’s concerning child…

Oh hey that pink clad teacher is from s1 I think. Wasn’t she in Timvisible at the water cooler?? That is a very nice and wow throwback guys. Major points to you.

Chloe is 10 and a half???? So she actually IS a year younger than Timmy, since he was already 10 when he had his birthday (and we ignore the previous like 5 birthdays he’s had >>) and they share a birthday…but wait, your birthday is in March…summer vacation starts in June/July, that isn’t 6 months later…ok so on the one hand, your math is all wrong, but on the other my headcanon that Chloe is a year younger seems to be proven fact. I don’t know what to do with this information!!

Oh this is the sleep wishing episode I heard about! Wow took a while for the plot to show up…but you know, even though this has been used before, I feel like this is being used in a different context and for a different character, so I’m allowing the reuse of the plot idea. Let’s see how twisted up Chloe’s subconscious is…

“Gender neutral Jesse” is sorta weird…I like the fact that Chloe did play with baby dolls though…

Timmy you can’t unwish Chloe’s wish! We’ve been over this-we had a whole episode dedicated to it!! URG!! Did they just throw that out because it’s easier for them to just fix each other’s mistakes that way? I mean, if this was the only time, I could buy that since she didn’t *consciously* make this wish, it could be undone by Tim, but the other times they’ve pulled this she’s been in her full faculties. So uhg! You can’t even keep your own continuity you establish in the same season >> (but…you guys have been doing better than expected, so…it’s not *as* negative points as I’d usually give…or maybe it is but you’ve just racked up enough positive ones to be at the standard by now I guess)

Hey Dr Rip Studwell, long time no see XD and…you made a manscaping joke…wow, I…wow

And a poop joke…but you have a pirate ship…but still…

“Took one to the crow’s nest” is that a crotch shot joke? Wow this episode is just…wow

Omr the mini shoulder Chloes are adorable! I love valley girl!Chloe and german science!Chloe. Didn’t like the second poop joke in a minute, especially since Dad really *shouldn’t* have heard science!Chloe say that…

She wished the doll big again…I think Chloe’s repressed feelings are about not wanting to grow up

And look Da Rules FINALLY decide to kick…oh no, Chloe wished it to be unwishable...yeah, because that’s the only way to stop Tim from fixing it >> and yet at the same time, he did wish the monster to stay until he stopped lying about who set Chompy free, so…formula…

“There’s free ice cream all over the street! It’s like delicious roadkill!” ok that is the best line ever

Wait, you’re wishing yourself into Chloe’s mind?? Because that worked so well when you went into your own…and why does it remind me of Mabel’s dreamworld/mind? I expected less pink, more purple honestly. Preschool!Chloe is so adorable!! Totally called the plot though, not that it’s hard.

Cosmo confirmed as queer, because even when he thought Wanda was “Weird Dude” he still had a crush on him. Wow, I am floored they did that, good for you

And we end it by promoting cannibalism? Oh wait no; we scratch the 4th wall instead. Ahha. Yeah. You totally missed the opportunity to have “Kids just being Kids” playing somewhere-possibly remixed-because I feel the message suited Chloe’s mentality too right now.

Over all, I’m glad it was Chloe centric but…I feel like this could’be been done in half the time maybe? They ignore their own continuity, but they do tackle real stuff in a minimal magical way. I guess like the A-story, I’m unimpressed but not disappointed. I feel like both of these should not have been paired together because as a whole the entire episode is lacking; they both needed a stronger story to counter balance them. It’s a good watch once through, but I doubt it’s an episode you’ll want to rewatch.

Dimmsdale’s Got Tallent:

Ok…I feel like this plot has been used before…and not necessarily thinking Fairy Idol either, but I just can’t place which episode I’m thin king of…

TOOTIE!!!! THEY DIDN’T SHIP YOU OFF TO BOARDING SCHOOL OR WHATEVER!! OMR!!! Sadly you were just a backgrounder cameo, but still…now I just need to find Francis then my main favs will have all appeared to be not dead (*spoiler: Francis does not appear anywhere*)

More Bickles…huh…

Mom’s stage name is “Madame Sasha”…is that a hint that her first name is Sasha?? Most times when you make up “magic names” they’re either your real name in between “the” and “magnificent” or they’re some super exotic/fake/fantastical sounding thing like how Dad was “Dadracadabra”

And more about Chloe’s one-woman show. That’s so neat that this is something that they’re developing for her, instead of using as a toss away one shot gag.

Kevin!! Dressed as a dummy for a comedy act lol. It’s an old and over used plot idea, but I’ll run with it. I like it. Cause Crocker now has 24 hour access to a child, he of course has to think of other ways to use it. “I’m telling my mom you made me do this” because that is Denzel’s sister so it is a legitimate threat…though you’d think Dolores would object to this too…why have we not had any interaction of Kevin with his grandmother yet??? I’d love to see Denzel get jealous over the attention his mother is giving Kevin that he never received

Haha Dad stealing Chloe’s idea, and still breaking the gender norms, nice. Where did Bickles get the coconut bikini top and grass skirt though?

Oh baaaaaad lesson to be teaching kids there guys. If the authority figure won’t give you want you want, you shouldn’t do them favors to try to bribe them into giving it to. Especially in the entertainment industry. That’s how bad situations happen….

Um those remote control tap shoes shouldn’t work because they would be helping Tim to win a competition, which is against Da Rules…not that Da Rules seem to matter anymore…

Ok Mom, you claimed to be a “Pet Psycho” yet you’re using only wild/non-pet animals. I think that’s probably the easiest way to point out that you’re doing this wrong

“I love me some snake and mongoose” ok…lets go see if that’s a euphemism on google…hm, nope, just a drag racing movie. That’s nice…wasn’t Bickles a race car driver at some point??

Doug Dimmadome returns! And “curious life partner”??? the Mayor and Chompy are a thing??? O.o???

Good boy Kevin, stand up to Crocker ^^

“That was a Dimma-dud” so simple and stupid, but probably the most fulfilling line thus far ^^;

love Chloe’s gold gown

ok I lied, “Dimma-dope” is now the most fulfilling line in this

heehee Dudley Puppy and Crimson Chin balloons in the parade. So headcanoning that TUFF Puppy was a show on tv in FOPverse

so this episode was….well just really pointless filler too. We got like minimal focus on any of our main characters. Have they forgotten how to write Timmy and Chloe?

Together these two (this was paired with Knitt-witts) were not a good match. Both were pointless filler with not a strong plot in either of them. Too many guest cameos, no character development. It was just barely enjoyable enough to not hate it, but just barely honestly. Weak episode all around.

Goldie Crocks and the three Fair Bears:

Ok I’ve been looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears since the episode titles were released.

Interesting to see the Squirrely Scout troop back again, still the same B-team line up including Chloe. Thought you already had that patch…but then again that could’ve been with the A-team troop lineup, so…the records were all destroyed when it was disbanded maybe?

Thanks Tim, we all were asking that. But how does using Mom’s shampoo make your hair blonde? Luscious and even longer I could buy without complaint, but blonde??

More over achieving Chloe lol (poor girl is gonna crash when she burns out). But wow, she fought King Neptuna…so why didn’t he remember her? Is Supergal now enemy to the merfolk??? Though that plays into the Merfolk vs Glamazons wouldn’t it…

And now we turn into the clichéd camping storyline where Character A decides to go use non-wilderness to camp in luxury. But Tim, you used to like camping??? Also, still not seeing how the episode title plays into this plot yet…

Cosmo has been right/made sense on more than one occasion though, why is it that surprising?

Ok now we get the title…Crocker’s mother has a cabin in the woods? Buyable, sure. Crocker somehow brought the Fair Bears back into reality??? Uh…what now? Wait, they weren’t sent back to TVLand?? And Crocker knows all about their origin?? HOW does that not break Da Rules huh? Is it because he doesn’t know who wished them up, so it’s not against Da Rules?? Why wouldn’t they tell him that; wouldn’t that be a fair thing to do?? He’s in a blonde wig because they’re going to be Goldielocks at a theme park, yeah sure, ok I can buy that. But HOW did he get the bears in the first place???

And Dad is blonde to be Goldielocks…wow…

Chloe breaking the 4th wall a little there

Gah even more middle names! Chloe how many do you even have????

NO! YOU CAN’T UNDO THE OTHER’S WISHES! URGH!!! You established this rule right off the bat, yet you keep breaking it and they let you keep breaking it. Timmy wished for the camping stuff-Chloe should not be able to wish it away. Yes the plot is stalled, but really, what is the plot at this point??? If you’re only going to enforce the rules when it suits you, well, anarchy for all then please

And you wished away the magic…yeah, that’s going to go super well

“Mr Crocker’s unsightly twin sister” ok on the one hand, that works because of Kevin granted (even though she’s not a twin persay, but he has suddenly got a sister), but on the other…this is all saying that guys can’t have long hair and I don’t like that. I love guys with long hair. Between that comment on Crocker, and the comments earlier about Dad, why is long hair automatically girl now?

Dolores dated Shaggy??? O.o i…I am very unnerved by that…wasn’t she already a full blown adult with a 10 year old child when Shaggy was a teenager roaming in the van with the Mystery Inc crew?? O.o

Omr yes. Referencing the “original German version” as a darker one. Talking about basting and eating people. This turned dark super fast and I love that. why TrollLOL’s face is on the oven idk, but I’m rolling with it because I love this part.

“I’ve already got 2 strikes from the school board” uh…yeah that’s the wrong side of dark I think…but it’s Crocker, it was probably the fork in Waxelplax’s fanny, and the flour incident or something fairly similar.

Yes Tim, yell at Chloe that this is all her fault. We know it is, but pointing it out won’t help. But it totally is; you wished for no magic and you got into trouble-not surprising.

HOW is it nearly midnight??? It was like, what, noon at the latest when this started?? You have not been out in the woods-in the daylight-for 12 hours-of daylight. Chloe hunny, you’re the smart one, why are you failing telling time??? I know its dark outside the house now, but it wasn’t in the scene before. Cosmo I think your clock is right. And how is “poof us out of here” bring you to a spot where it is, once again daylight; that seemed to suggest instant teleporting so you’re at the same time. Unless this next scene is a cut away to hours later BUT STILL! It should not be midnight.

Oh Dad, yes, I’m sure no one cares about your troop anymore.

“let’s send the Fair Bears back” uh you should have done that the first time and this whole mess would have been avoided. It’s like leaving the door to the comic book world open all over again.

And yes, cause unnecessary harm to Crocker, why not. Not to mention all the innocent patrons at the theme park…

Also why has no one mentioned Dimmsdale had a theme park before now?

All in all, not a good episode. I was looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears, and it felt like they weren’t even in half of the episode. The rest was another boring camping storyline, which these two seem to do a lot of huh?

Paired with Fancy Schmancy, as the production order says, I think the whole 30 min episode is completely weak and not great. This one was bad, the other was filler, so together they are just not meshing well at all.

#Fairly Odd Parents #Fairly Oddparents #fop #kp talks fop #review #mega dump

5 notes · View notes

karpedayam · 6 years

Photo

Day 52: July 12

First pic is the view outside the door to my hostel, it was looking rather picturesque this morning.

Rounds were interesting this morning. The doctor in charge, Dr. Prakash, spent a lot more time on the patients and discussed more of their social backgrounds which was interesting. The majority of the men have diabetes related infections in the limbs, and don’t come to the doctor unless it’s really, really bad. Also, family dynamics are hard as many of them are very poor and alcoholics. Dr. Prakash said that family dynamics need to be taken care of, and that without family support there is nothing that can really be done. I would argue that it goes deeper than that. Given what I’ve learned in my courses here, I think it’s definitely a patriarchal and colonial issue. Dr. Abhignya’s research shows that. Tribal, often poor populations are highly affected by alcoholism and we see this in Canada too. Dr. Prakash was very quick to say that all of the health issues relate back to alcoholism - it’s the common thread, but like I said I think it goes deeper. Nobody just decides to be an alcoholic for fun. It’s a very deep-seated issue often rooted in trauma, depression, disenfranchisement etc. Blaming alcohol and alcoholics does nothing productive, but I can understand the families’ frustrations at the same time. It’s a patriarchal issue because men are socialized to not show pain, to not show weakness, to work tirelessly. This combined with poverty is a really tough space to be in and to heal in.

Anyway, we had a few cases in the special wards which was interesting. One kid has tuberculosis so I didn’t go in the room, I’m pretty sure I’m vaccinated for that but I didn’t want to risk it. I met a really lovely patient who was doing some laps of the ward. She introduced me to her husband and her two-month-old baby named Nithya which was so sweet.

After this, Dr. Abhignya and I went to see a patient in the special ward. She had a long consultation with her. She was very, very thin only 30kg and said she has a lot of weakness and doesn’t feel like eating. It started when after the birth of her children and her husband left for the military. Dr. Abhignya said it’s likely an issue of depression and anxiety but people don’t generally admit that. I think tomorrow she will be getting some Ayurvedic therapies.

After this Dr. Abhignya showed me the special project she’s been working on. She showed me a tray of a bunch of rolled up tubes that looked like brown cigarettes. It comes from a plant called Caladium and cotton is dipped in that along with juice made from Bringaraja leaves and nandyavarta flower. It’s then dried in the shade, rolled in milk, dried again, dipped in castor oil, burnt and collected over clay tiles and made hard by adding ghee. It’s a long process but its purpose is really cool. This substance is used in very, very small amounts to brighten the eyes. Dr. Abhignya said she’s had a contained of it the size of her fingertip for about 6 years! Anyway, it’s especially important with newborn babies as they use this substance to dot the cheeks, in between the eyebrows, and over the eyes to take bad omens away, to make the eyes bright and beautiful, and they rub it on the eyebrows so they grow thick. Many bring this powder from the outside, and cheap outside sources of it are often artificial and not good for newborns. She wanted to start making it so it can be included in the newborn baby care kits. I asked her if patients were asking for it, and she said no because they probably don’t think to ask, but she thinks it’ll be very popular once it’s already included. Anyway I thought it was really cool that she’s doing this. Definitely a huge example of the integrative Ayurvedic-Allopathic medical care here.

We went for tea after this and had some nice conversations, she’s so easy to talk to. We talked a lot about religion,and I told her about the paper I wrote comparing colonial situations in Canada and India and the impact of the textuality of the traditions in preserving them and she thought that was interesting. She said Hindus have faced so many invasions and conversation efforts, and it truly is amazing how strongly it has endured these thousands of years. She asked about baptism and thanksgiving celebrations too and I told her that most Christians now don’t really practice daily, but mainly just on holidays and things like that, and that the next generation really isn’t religious and many people our age are rejecting institutionalized religion.

After this, I had my second facial treatment done. Some of the students administered it this time which was really cool, this time it was Shashi and Shivu. It was nice talking with them as we were doing the procedure. I tried to think of some more questions to ask Dr. Abhignya, I was wondering the impact of inhaling the turmeric-rose water, like if that has any effect on the respiratory system and balancing doshas that might contribute to skin conditions.

After this I went to lunch, and then tried to find Dr. Abhignya but I couldn't, so I went to the library and tried to figure out what I want to do with my life. After getting stuck with that, I looked for some of the Ayurvedic books and decided to read the Charaka Samhita which is kind of like the “canon” of Ayurveda. It was really, really interesting I took a LOT of notes.

I took a break and went to the labour ward to see if they had any deliveries, and they had just finished a twins delivery so I was really bummed about that. I still have 2 days so fingers crossed! I went to see Dr. Yumna and she said Dr. Abhignya was teaching counselling sessions upstairs, so I just hung out in Dr. Abhignya’s office and tried to consolidate all my questions and observations I wanted to discuss with her. I finally saw her at 5, when it was time to go home, and she said we’ll discuss tomorrow which is good.

I relaxed most of the evening since I was kind of in a bad mood. I felt like I didn’t really do much, and my pipe-dream-career-plans I don’t think will realistically work as well as I’d imagined so that kind of sucks. Apparently it’s very difficult to transfer doctor licenses from USA to Canada, and OB/GYN residencies are of the most brutal you can do, and you only have like a 5-10% chance of getting a residency in Canada if you have an international medical school degree. Also I can’t be an osteopath trained in Canada because it requires a Kinesiology degree or to be already be employed healthcare system. Maybe I could do it after naturopathy? Idk. Also Joti told me I have to do a presentation on Saturday about my experience so I’m not overly thrilled about that, but at the same time it’ll be good to reflect on everything and to share my gratitude to everyone here for the experience. On the plus side, I get to go back to Mysore on Saturday instead of on Monday so I can spend the weekend with Anger, and Laura and Kuann are going to come too! So exciting.

I met up with Joanna and went to dinner, and it seems like everyone kinda had a bad day. She’s also super confused about what she wants to do with her life, and we relate a lot about not wanting to be in tertiary care but that we want to really work with patients and treat people holistically. Anyway, I’ve got 2 more days and lots more conversations to have, and things to observe!

PS most of after-supper time was spent in our room making the ~gourmet~ banana splits pictured above and playing Trivia Crack lol. I got the question pictured above! It relates to a religious studies course I took this spring which I thought was funny. John if you’re reading this I hope you’re proud, it was Gandhi right? hahaha.

#gif

0 notes

opepin · 7 years

Text

june: week four

19: at around 2 am, i woke up with really hot and tingly feet and legs... i couldn’t sleep for a while. i had to wet my feet with cold water to feel okay again. i felt really dehydrated with a headache and just hot. x_x i disturbed kevin in his sleep and a felt bad too because he had to get up early to get to a meeting. blech. eventually i fell asleep with my feet outside of the blankets. i even tried sleeping outside but i didn’t want to leave kevin with my phone charging and an alarm going off at 7:15 am... well, i got out of bed kinda late. kevin was already out of the apartment and i just felt like crap. i think sleeping late and eating crappily during the weekend has to stop. i did a good job at the beginning of the weekend but after saturday, i knew i would sleep late. we were also cleaning a bit late yesterday so yeah...sigh. dave and phil and company were flying into new york today so work was a bit chill today.

i did a quick workout and showered to get rid of that icky feeling. i did some work and ate lunch. i got a pretty bad headache after the work day. i elevated my feet, watched an episode of ‘reign’ and waited for kevin to get back. we rested for a bit when he got back. both of us were feeling pretty bleh. then kevin went to cooking and i did some ab exercises. we ate dinner and then rested before showering. i spent some time thinking about how to assemble my team for bravely default’s group bosses. then i went to sleep at around 12 am. my head was hurting like crazy. i stayed up looking up information on physical therapy and whether or not i should make an appointment or not.

20: kevin and i slept through my alarm...and woke up at 10 am o___o my head still hurt like crazy and mother nature gifted me something for my birthday -__-” lol. kevin ate breakfast and then headed to work. i ate breakfast, took advil, and then went to work. i also called cigna to make sure ati physical therapy was in my network and then called them to make an appointment for thursday. everyone was super nice. i also spent some time trying to hunt down the swarovski dog figurine for my mom’s birthday...but they’re sold out everywhere @_@ omg. i’ll wait and see if they restock them. if not, i’ll buy it off another store. it was a pretty chill day because the conference was going on and i couldn’t do any testing. i tested a bit in the morning, got on the stand up, and then worked with whatever i had. i played some bravely default and then worked out. after working out, i went down to check the mail. there was no mail so i went back up and as i was putting away my slides, kevin opened the door?! he also had mail in his hand??? i told him that i just went down and he said he took the elevator to come up. IT WAS SO SUSPICIOUS.

kevin lied terribly so i found out that he hid my birthday present in the storage room and he was coming from there. he was so mad at my timing LOLOL. it was so funny. i always figure out what kevin is getting me for any occasion and he’s fed up with my “bad timing.” good times. then we relaxed for a bit. kevin was making noodles for dinner but then we realized we didn’t have our ground pork???? we might have left it at kam man? but i never bagged it or saw it in the bagging area? so confused. we had a meatless noodle dish but it was super flavorful with the sauce. i showered and then we ate dinner while watching chef john videos and then kevin cleaned up and i gamed for the rest of the night. i’m so close to beating the game!!! i only have just a few more group battles!!! i got into bed and looked up pretty little liars’ plot (idk why) and then went to sleep at like 12 am.

21: i’ve been waking up later than usual but i’ve been getting a good amount of sleep. :) i started work right away because phil sent me something to work on. i ate breakfast with kevin and then put on the newest episode of ‘world of dance’ and then worked while watching. i did a quick workout before stand up, got on a couple calls to help out customers, and then ate lunch. then at the end of the day, i did my oblique workout. it was day two of the conference so steve told us to take it easy. i showered after my workout and then got dressed. then i tried beating the “magic” group boss battle and i kept dying so i qq’d and then tried to nap but it was already 4:45 pm so i closed my eyes for a bit and then took the train to downtown crossing. a lady fell down on the train because of dehydration but she was ok. .__. i’ve never experienced so many things on the train! so many things happen on the ‘t’ in comparison to the cta. anyway, i waited for kevin because he was walking from work to downtown crossing... lol. i was grumpy when he arrived because he missed the train by like a minute but it was okay. :)

we got to sur la table and then started our master class on steaks! it was a more communal type of class where each side of the room gets to do some prep and then volunteers could grill a steak, cut it, sous vide, etc. our chef was deadpan funny (reminded me of barry) and we learned a good amount of technique and food science -- i loved it. i didn’t cook any of the steaks but had fun prepping. kevin got to sous vide one and also sear it with a blow torch after. kevin guesstimates we probably had $35 worth of restaurant steak -- i was so full by the end of the class. i think it went from 6:30 to 10 pm though x__X we didn’t start eating until 8:45 pm so i was starving. nancy, one of the kitchen aides also made us mango sorbet with vanilla whipped cream!! SO DELICIOUS. we got a 10% off coupon at the end of the class and the store to ourselves. we bought a le creuset bakeware set on the spot because i thought $100 was so cheap for it EXCEPT that le creuset bakeware is cheaper than the dutch ovens and etc. x__x so we’re returning it haha. it’s okay. we commuted home and then i did some cleaning and then went to sleep at around 12 pm. i was tireddd and my feet were really tired.

22: i woke up with another headache??? i don’t know why. i was really tired and my legs were sore. kevin apparently had a half day today so i planned to meet up with him after my physical therapy appointment. i ate breakfast, caught up with phil, and did a quick low-impact workout before heading out to my appointment. i got there 10 minutes early and filled out paperwork and then got right into my appointment. my physical therapist, bryan, was super chill and fun to chat with. he’s not 100% that it’s a fracture but he said it might be a fracture or broken bone in my right foot. he thinks that my other foot is hurting because it’s taking pressure off my right foot... so yeah. he heated my feet and put balm on them to help with the swelling and then we did some strengthening stretches! it was such an interesting experience :O then he sent me off with some ice (which i had to throw away because i was meeting with kevin for lunch -- i shouldn’t have asked him for some x__X i feel bad) and we scheduled more appointments and he told me to get an x-ray. i was feeling akjfnskjdf about it because of the money but this is the reason why i am building an emergency fund!! i’ll always keep on saving so i need to remind myself that.

i walked to yo sushi! to get lunch with kevin. i kinda got lost and i was hurtin’ a bit when i got there but it was all good in the hood. their fried rice is pretty good and their nori tacos are delicious. i also loved their mochi selection -- the passionfruit one is surprisingly tart yet creamy~ then we took the bus and train home and i hopped on a quick call with a customer and then called up my insurance and made an appointment with my pcp. okay, i’m doing the right thing and taking care of my body instead of worrying about the money. with insurance, an x-ray for my feet isn’t that expensive anyway. i got this. breathe. lol, i’m such a money worrier sometimes... i tried beating bravely default again with no avail. i might just battle the broken way now because i just don’t know how not to T_T then kevin surprised me with his birthday presents. he did get me the roasted green tea i love drinking at sumi (well, not the exact one because that one was sold out and i wasn’t expecting the EXACT one either haha). he also got me a log pillow <333333 it’s perfect for elevating my feet and i’m closer to becoming a real komala now. i love it! :DD thank you so much, kevin <3333

kevin cooked us veggie fried rice and then i got real frustrated with the game and rq’d ahha. then i did my physical therapy exercises and did some thigh workouts. i showered after and hopped in bed at 11 pm. i slept at around 11:30 pm. zzzz.

23: kevin decided to wfh so we’d be leaving to get to the bus to new york together~ it was a really chill morning. we had a weird eating schedule so i ate and kevin didn’t and then kevin got some food in him before we left to catch our amtrak ride to new york. oh, during the work day, i thought i was going to have to work over the weekend because we had a really important release to check in on but phil let me go free because it was my birthday and i also wouldn’t have anywhere to properly work (we’d be leaving the hotel at 12 pm and then wouldn’t have anywhere with a stable wifi connection). so we packed our last minute things and then headed out. i stopped by starbucks and got a trenta-sized original pink drink and then kevin went to get us sweetgreen bowls for our train dinner. it was a struggle finding seats at first because we sat behind a guy with really bad body odor and was talking on the phone so then kevin wanted to move and we ended up moving several carts down and finding a pretty empty cart (i didn’t have hope for a bit). then i ate my harvest bowl and it was deliciousssss. kevin liked his salad too. we stayed up for most of the trip. our stomaches started hurting a bit after eating the salad because of all the raw fiber...LOL but it was a nice ride to new york overall.

we walked to the nomad hotel and was greeted by the perfectly awkward hostess. i say she was perfect because the decor of the nomad is very noir and a bit creepy and she was kind of like that but soooo sweet and she gave us free water haha. there was a freestanding claw foot tub -- oh, she upgraded us to the atelier room as well, woot! yeah, so there was a bathtub, the room separator actually housed the toilet and the shower, and the bed was so comfy. we left our luggage there and relaxed for a bit before heading out to tous les jours to get some noms. kevin went ham and got like 3 things and i got a honey bun and a piece of decadent chocolate mousse cake. it was super rich. we were super full by the end of the night and walked back. we were conveniently located near k-town so we weren’t worried about access to food. we got back, showered, used the bathtub and then kevin gave me a massage (thank you :D) before going to sleep. mmm zzzz. i decided we’d be sleeping in until check out time at 12 pm because it was already 2 am and we were beat.

24: i’m going to preface this day by saying that me and kevin still don’t like new york city but we still had a fun time. we don’t like new york city overall because people just seem like they don’t know how to walk down the street politely (like can you not take up the whole sidewalk?), it’s so dirty (garbage bags everywhere), most people seem to have a snotty / miserable attitude (worker at tous les jours was literally just following us while mopping the floor and omg, prime example: a guy came out of the bathroom at smith’s while i was waiting to use it and he left the sink water running, didn’t flush, and peed all over the toilet seat, what the heck?), we seem to hit red lights every block we walk, and i think i would feel pretty lonely in this city because this city makes me feel like no one cares and i would feel stressed about not having a social life because the city is alive until the am all the time. it’s just one of those cities you either love or dislike i think... anyway, those are the few things about new york we don’t like and i don’t think we will ever live there.

so we kept to the schedule and we checked out at exactly 12 pm if not a few minutes earlier. then we walked a block down to get brunch at a place called, smith’s. it was aiight. i wouldn’t recommend it. then we walked to uniqlo to see if they had any of the nintendo shirts i wanted still in stock -- they didn’t. we stopped by a gamestop and think geek before and looked around and then decided to go to nintendo ny. it was a ways down and my feet started hurting so we stopped at kinokuniya bookstore on the way to the nintendo store. kevin called me weird in front of a group of people for collecting sonny angels and it hurt, tbh, so i got upset a bit and browsed the store on my own. then i found a fire emblem art book and showed him and he apologized. we bought a drink to sit down in the cafe area, i waited in line to use the bathroom, and then we continued our walk to the nintendo store. man, it was soooooper packed. we walked around people and then decided to rq this walking thing and went to the closest barnes and noble. kevin grabbed a table and got us fiji water and a venti passion iced tea. he read fanfic while i picked up ‘the elephant vanishes’, ‘milk and honey’, ‘crazy rich asians’, and ‘love and misadventure’ from the store and read the two poetry books before heading out to momofuku. the poetry books were great. i can see why people love ‘milk and honey.’

we took the train to momofuku and when we got there, there was already a small line. i tried seeing if there were any more momofuku sneakers on sale but kevin tried with his iphone and they were sold out T_T it wasn’t meant to be LOL. we quickly got seated and ordered pork buns, shiitake buns, and split a momofuku ramen. this experience was everything that i dreamed of! the flavors were full yet light and i loved the pork buns. 10/10 -- this wasn’t all hype. we ordered 3 banchans and took 2 to go because we were full. their potato salad is on point, the kimchi was on the sweeter side, and their mushrooms were so light! kevin couldn’t eat dessert right away so we spontaneously went into a nail salon and got pedicures! it was both our first times and kevin thought i was the only one getting it but i dragged him in with me. it was a fun and weird experience because the chinese ladies thought we were funny and lost but they were so nice. i just got a clear coat on my nails because idk what i was doing LOL. thank you for doing these things with me, kevin :3 i remembered seeing people with muji bags so we found the muji nearby and walked over there. kevin really liked the vibe. he bought me the hand shredder that i’ve been kinda wanting since forever haha. i told him not to get it for me because it’s kind of novelty but he got it for me anyway.

we walked to the spot dessert bar, got seated immediately (before the rush), and went along with their 3 dessert suggestion for 2 people. it was obviously a mistake because that’s 3 desserts for only 2 people!!! kevin also got a thai iced tea float lulz. we got the matcha lava cake, golden toast, and the yuzu eskimo. the matcha lava cake was delicious. the golden toast was too much...we wouldn’t recommend it because the deep fried toast is just too much. the yuzu eskimo was probably my favorite <3 we struggled eating it all but we did, and the couple next to us were like “you’re young, you guys can do it.” LOL. it was 9 pm and we didn’t have any place to go so kevin suggested watching a movie, and he suggested this earlier after we ate at momofuku too but the closest theater was an indie one and we weren’t about that right then. we walked to the closest amc and saw that only terrible movies were being shown: transformers, the mummy, and rough night. i looked up a bookstore that closes at 12 am so we walked there and they closed at 9:30 pm today T_T so then my final hope was going to this coffee shop that closes at 12 am, and omg, there it was. we were so tired from walking. i shouldn’t have been walking this much. my feet were kind of pulsating and pretty sore by now. the massage at the pedicure place helped a lot though.

we got a chamomile tea and then we unwound with youtube videos and fanfic. we stayed there until closing time. i used the bathroom there and both me and kevin said this was probably the most times in a day that we’ve used public restrooms...haha. we ubered to tous les jours to get some food for the train ride back and then chilled there until they closed. we tiredly talked about friends, life, etc. then we walked to penn station. we passed by the super busy madison square garden area and kevin got a kebab for $6 (rip off) and then we used the washrooms at the station and waited for our amtrak to arrive. we waited for about an hour inside. i was so tired that i wasn’t making much sense when kevin talked to me. i also gave his pokemon ridiculous nicknames LOL. we hopped on the train and then went to sleep right away. actually, it was hella cold so i put on all of the long layers of clothing i brought and then took out my contacts and went to sleep... kevin slept through pretty much the entire ride haha.

it was a super long and event-filled day with kevin. i’m a year older and of course, it doesn’t feel like it. i don’t regret going to new york city for my birthday and spending all the time walking and squatting at places because i got to spend it with kevin too. i think i would have been miserable without him. it was a good day spent. i’ll remember this day forever probably because i don’t think i would do this ever again, especially the whole not having a room to go back to for the entire day. xP i guess thanks for the interesting birthday, new york city! see you later!

25: i kept waking up on the train because it was either too cold or someone was talking -__-’ so i didn’t sleep very well. i was also blind and didn’t want to get up to use the washroom because i couldn’t put my contacts in without burning my eyes (forgot to pack glasses). so i toughed it out and when we finally got back at 8 am, kevin guided me to the train and we got back to the apartment! the first cart we got on, there was an annoying af homeless man that just kept banging his cup and saying weird shit to people. he was doing this on purpose because he kept in time with when he was banging his cup and he also said to me “wakey wakey” -___-’ i wasn’t saying anything but kevin wanted to switch carts so we did. when we got back, we both used the bathroom and then went straight to sleep after that. we woke up at around 2:30 pm and felt so skfnslkfnsdf. we’re never gonna take a 2:40 am amtrak train ever again -- it’s too red eye for us. i’ll also remember to bring a blanket or something too. i felt really tired and out of it the rest of the day. i watched videos, kevin and i argued a bit and i was just tired and overwhelmed so i cried and i think me not being able to walk properly is really getting to me. i really love being mobile and doing things on my own. i also like going to the office to work and exercising and etc but being in this state just really sucks. you’d think that because we went to new york and walked everywhere yesterday that i’m fine to walk and etc, but my feet started hurting like crazy after a while. sigh.

anyway, we talked about it and then kevin bought buns so we snacked on that. then i did laundry and did my stretches and iced my feet while watching the latest episode of love connection while kevin made omurice. we ate a really late dinner and then i waited for the laundry to dry. i folded the clothes and stuff asap and then brushed my teeth and went to sleep. i think it was around 1 or 2 am. lol my sleeping schedule. @_@;

0 notes