#idk why i made this in bullet points i just wanted to break up my different thoughts a little instead of writing one giant paragraph

[lesbeamofsunshine]

it's time for more 🥁🥁🥁🥁 me being pissed that the 911 writers killed off Shannon!

it was cheap storytelling (I've said it before and I'll say it again)

they already had a way to write her out if they really wanted to! if they were willing to put just a little more effort into her exit story, she would'nt have had to die

misogyny is behind this, I just know it. clearly Shannon was only written to provide drama for Eddie (which the writers also could barely be bothered with)

which is so weird because Shannon had so much potential as a character! I loved her passion! I think she deserved a redemption arc of relearning how to be a mother to Christopher. and Shannon and Eddie deserved a storyline in which they work out their feelings for one another and learn to forgive each other and in that way learn to forgive themselves. wouldn't that have been great? it would've been good for them to learn how to live with each other through a divorce instead of a strained marriage; I think that would've made for excellent character development. so since they didnt, honestly I think it really stunted Eddie's character. a divorce storyline could've given him a chance to learn and grow as a person and really flesh out his character, but instead he became closed-off, even to the audience. what did we learn about Eddie through the street fighting storyline? that he's angry. well duh. but he could've been given so much more emotional depth if we'd seen him work things through with Shannon. and Shannon could've been a great character. she could've added a lot more drama if she had stayed alive, but they totally blew it by killing her off in such a cheap way. to be honest I might even say I wouldn't be mad if they did a "omg Shannon wasn't actually dead" reveal if not for the fact that we the audience definitely saw that she was Dead. but then again I wouldn't trust them to bring her back because they might just have her drop a bomb and immediately kill her off again, because they were oh so eager to do it the first time

#my post #911 posting #911 show #911 on fox #911 spoilers #idk why i made this in bullet points i just wanted to break up my different thoughts a little instead of writing one giant paragraph #and yeah im gonna be mad about this forever #might make a post addressing more of the misogyny of the show later #bc they do this (making female characters specifically catered to making drama for male characters) a lot #my tags

[astonmartinii]

bad blood (lando's version) | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem carlos ex!reader

band aid's don't fix bullet holes but his best friend might

based on this request:so reader is a famous model who’s also carlos ex (dated YEARS) and after the breakup he jumped straight to rebeca (we just need a tiny bit of bad blood). soo she and lando always got along, ever since carlos was in mclaren. the point is they get together and come hand in hand to a gp out of nowhere so drama and more bad blood surface - you can lead this to whatever you want hehe, thanks!!! - @lorenakaspersen

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

vogue

liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,209,433 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: y/n y/ln takes the cover for this month, where she talks re-discovering herself and giving yourself time to move on. copies in stores everywhere this friday.

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user1: i am once again asking how the fuck that man fumbled a bad bitch like her

user2: do not bring that man up here, he actually boils my blood

user3: honestly thank god they wear helmets in f1 cause if i saw his smug little face i may have smashed by tv

yourusername: thank you for having me hehehehhe xx

vogue: you dropped this queen 👑

user4: not vogue supporting her more than carlos ever did 🤨

user5: at least lando still supports her

user6: i'm glad the friends she made... i.e lando, charles, max, daniel, etc did also abandon her when carlos just dropped her

hunterschafer: you're the person i see in your dreams

yourusername: are you sure i'm not just your sleep paralysis demon?

hunterschafer: you're welcome to stalk mine dreams anytime

user7: how am i meant to care about f1 without y/n?

user8: she's the reason i learnt about the sport but at leats now i have an excuse to support someone else LOL

landonorris: tinkerbell looks a little bit different here

yourusername: i thought you were too old to watch peter pan?

landonorris: i just said that so you would think i'm a big macho man :(

yourusername: that is tragic

landonorris: can i interest you in a movie night some time soon then

yourusername: you might

user9: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ^^

user10: idk but i am excited

f1wagupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,032 others

f1wagsupdates: carlos sainz debuts his new girlfriend rebecca donaldson at the bahrain grand prix, just one month after breaking up with model y/n y/ln. sainz and y/ln were together for three years, and sainz was seen with donaldson for the first time just a week after the breakup.

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user13: lol the wag accounts are done with his ass

f1wagsupdates: i am a y/n y/ln stan first and foremost

user14: anyone see the absolute stink eye charles and lando gave carlos LOL

user15: that's the thing when you're together for so long, the friends get attached as well

user16: i mean if certified homie hopper charles leclerc is calling your bluff then you know you've fucked up

user17: i will never understand how he jumped into a relationship with her after three years ?? LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

user18: things like that make me glad i'm single

user19: the thing that is bothering me that no one has said yet is the fact that he's been with her what a month? and he's already brought her to a race when he made y/n wait months to go to a race?

user20: screams insecurity - like "look i have moved on, i'm an alpha male who can get whoever i want"

user21: i never understood why he didn't let her come to races for months when they first got together, like not even his home race?

user22: i've always got the vibe that he thought that he was better than her and that she was using him?

user23: the way if he ever posted her (which was not very often) he never tagged her

user24: which is ironic because she's one of the most celebrated models in recent history, she has millions more followers than him and has a bigger network than him, so really if anyone was using anyone it was carlos using her

user25: anyone else pulling for her to get with lando?

user26: i always thought they got on more in the videos of them all together but honestly i just want her to be happy

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,018,552 others

yourusername: not much going on recently

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user27: SHE'S SO HOT

user28: i need her to give me one chance please

charles_leclerc: are we still down for the road trip to lourdes?

yourusername: needed now more than ever

charles_leclerc: trust and believe

user29: charles and y/n friendship you mean so much to me

user30: need her to sit in charles' side of the garage

user31: mother went to the university of servington where she got a degree is cuntology with a minor in slaying the haus down

danielricciardo: miss ma'am, leave some for the rest of us

yourusername: why thank you good sir

danielricciardo: where do i procure a veil as such?

yourusername: i may source one for you if you promise not to shave that moustache

heidiberger: preach

user32: i bet carlos just thought everyone would just forget about y/n when he dropped her, but he forgot that she's probably more liked on the grid than he is LOL

landonorris: why are you staring into my soul like that

yourusername: why are you lurking in my comment section

landonorris: i thought we were friends :(

yourusername: always and forever

user33: but he wants it to be more

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo

user33: I SAW THAT LANDO X Y/N COMING SOON?

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 803,774 others

landonorris: hostess with the most-ess?

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user34: is that a ... WOMAN?

user35: he's saying he's a host ... maybe he's hosting a friend who is a girl, it's not illegal

user36: i get your sentiment, but that photo is straight out of the soft launch girlfriend pinterest boards

user37: well now i'm picturing lando scrolling through pinterest and asking ??? to recreate the pics 😭

carlossainz55: missing my golf partner, round this weekend? ⛳️

landonorris: let me check my schedule buddy 👍

user38: okay... well someone else tell me that they can feel the vibe shift

user39: it's their first online interaction after the breakup, i think we can guess who's side lando is on

oscarpiastri: someone needs to debrief me asap

landonorris: someone forgot that he owns a phone

oscarpiastri: needed the added pressure of the public call out to make you actually do it

landonorris: fine, but you get three questions and that's it

user40: if the call out was public can't we get the public answers

yourusername: are you coming for my job?

landonorris: you saying i could model 😊

yourusername: i'm definitely saying you should let me give my agent your number

landonorris: you already have my number babe

yourusername: okay pretty boy

user41: i need this type of nepotism in my life

user42: i need the nepotism and the sexual tension cause PHEW it is through the roof

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,760,521 others

yourusername: enjoy the picture of me fucking up a pretzel

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user46: okay where are the detective freaks from f1twt?

user47: reporting for duty 🫡

user46: what car is that?

user47: it looks strikingly similar to a jolly, but i don't know if that's just my brain pushing me to make it lando. but there is a florist in monaco that wraps their flowers just like that as well ....

user46: thank you for your service

danielricciardo: this is very ballerina core 🩰

yourusername: has the old man been spending time on the internet?

danielricciardo: yes he has 😃

yourusername: omg proud

danielricciardo: no but seriously how did you do it? it looks sick

yourusername: very fiddly, needed an extra pair of hands

danielricciardo: an extra pair of hands [wiggles eyebrows]

yourusername: did you just comment your own stage directions?

danielricciardo: funny 😄

user48: okay i am glad we're not being deprived of the y/n and daniel friendship.

landonorris: i am enjoying this picture of you fucking up a pretzel

yourusername: i am a whore for carbs

landonorris: i am a whore for you

this comment was deleted

landonorris: i am also a whore for carbs (don't tell jon)

maxverstappen1: 📸📸📸 saw that mister !!

landonorris: you didn't see NOTHING

user49: we saw everything. i am so disappointed in lando, he's carlos' bestfriend and he's doing this?

liked by carlossainz55

user50: oh i know this man aint speaking

f1teaandgossip

liked by user51, user52 and 10,945 others

ftteaandgossip: carlos sainz was caught liking this tweet about his ex girlfriend y/n y/ln and his (former?) best friend lando norris. what do you think?

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user53: the audacity of men never fails to astound me

user54: you know what, i feel like a guilty man only acts this bold. so i'm saying it. i think there was overlap between his relationship with y/n and his relationship with rebecca

user55: you're right and you should say it

user56: carlos got with rebecca within a WEEK of the end of a three year relationship but is angry that she's finally moving on after months ?

user57: for real the first sight of lando and y/n was after at least two months

user58: i know people will say she's in the wrong because it is lando but honestly carlos has no leg to stand on with him parading rebecca around the paddock

user59: i really couldn't give a fuck if lando is his best buddy you act like a fool expect to get treated like a fool

user60: also the whole "whoring around the grid" is so dumb. you mean her FRIENDS? you know the friends she had to make when you would just leave her in the paddock or ignore her at parties ?

user61: babe really thought he was more loved in the paddock and expected everyone to go along with his messiness

user62: men don't talk about women this way challenge

user63: imagine talking about a girl you were with for THREE tears like this

user64: i wish lando and y/n all the best and i hope they're together for a long time, she deserves a good man after all of this

user65: i have faith 🤞

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,109,413 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: sloppy seconds you say? i never come second with him. pun intended x

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user66: SERVE

user67: user67 found dead in her home, cause of death: this post

landonorris: what can i say i'm a giver 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: i'll say 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri: ENOUGH

landonorris: i thought you were happy for us oscar :(

oscarpiastri: i am !! i even took the second picture. but i think you forget that i am staying with you in monaco :/

yourusername: whoops my bad

landonorris: i swear my hospitality is usually better

yourusername: i can attest to his hospitality

oscarpiastri: STOP PLEASE STOP

user68: poor oscar being traumatised by y/n and lando 😭

carlossainz55: real mature

yourusername: how about instead of liking shady tweets and commenting on my instagram posts, you come confront me like a real fucking person.

carlossainz55: you'd love that wouldn't you

yourusername: i really would because if i said everything you needed to hear i'd be banned from this app

carlossainz55: you really are the gold digging slut my parents warned me about

landonorris: you will absolutely not talk to her that way. if you do so again we'll have a very real problem

carlossainz55: you have no sense of loyalty lando

landonorris: the call is coming from inside the house

user69: the girls are FIGHTING

comments on this post have been limited.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,866,398 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: nothing better than a podium at home and time with family

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user72: the sky camera shady as fuck for cutting straight to y/n in the mclaren garage when carlos crashed LOL

user73: her and lando's dad trying not to laugh had me creasing

yourusername: beyond proud of you baby

landonorris: your support means everything pretty girl

yourusername: and your family are the loveliest, tell mama i said thank you for having me (and my sandwiches for the plane)

landonorris: she say's thank you and come back soon (i also want you to come home asap)

user74: he already refers to his house at their home

user75: and y/n has been accepted by the family - the sainzs could take notes

oscarpiastri: oscar piastri erasure

yourusername: sorry osc, you're our favourite pookie on the grid

landonorris: also mama made you sandwiches too

oscarpiastri: i know they were very yummy 😋

danielricciardo: HOLD ON, oscar is your favourite pookie, where am i ???

maxverstappen1: i think you'll find i am their favourite full stop

charles_leclerc: nuh uh it's clearly me

yourusername: i'll just say lando is my favourite

landonorris: and i'll say y/n is my favourite

yourusername: and that's that

danielricciardo: boooooooo.

maxverstappen1: cop out :(

charles_leclerc: 🍅🍅🍅

user76: i am so confused right now

yourusername

liked by bellahadid, landonorris and 3,109,766 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: you are in love, true love.

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user77: omg the letters? i swear there were letters in her first post after carlos took rebecca to the first race of the season

user78: wait so do you think they were from lando the whole time?

yourusername: yes they are from lando ! after the carlos stuff had somewhat died down he had them all delivered to me and it definitely swayed me for a first date

user79: but i thought some of those letters looked pretty old

landonorris: i won't deny that i liked y/n for a long time but i obviously couldn't express that so i put them in letters. an idiot was an idiot and i'll never not take my chance

user80: okay that makes this whole thing so much cuter

user81: y/n is the definition of never letting your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

landonorris: you're my best friend and i love you so much

yourusername: i'd go through all this mess and all this heartbreak again if it meant i still end up with you

landonorris: but i'm by your side forever now you can't get rid of me

yourusername: i wouldn't dream of it

user82: lord i have seen it all, please bless me with a relationship like this

danielricciardo: god you people are ridiculously cute

oscarpiastri: just think yourself lucky that you no longer share a garage with them

landonorris: we're not THAT bad

oscarpiastri: i have working ears

yourusername: sorry not sorry osc x

fin.

note: hope you all enjoyed. i am dying trying to do 75 soft but i also signed up for burlesque class !!

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #lando norris x reader #lando norris insta au #lando norris x you #lando norris imagine #lando norris #f1 social media au

[thaleleah]

𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 (𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓞𝓷𝓮)

Pairing: Billy The Kid x Fem!Nun!Reader

Warnings: ***NON-CON***, Dub-Con, Dark!Billy, Virgin!Reader, Oral (female receiving), Fingering, P in V, Corruption Kink, Creampie, Possessive Behavior, Masturbation, Wet Dreams/Sex Dreams, Seduction, Emotional Manipulation, Religion and Religious Beliefs, Explicit talk of gunshot wounds, blood, and the bullet's removal (kinda? Idk if it's explicit explicit, but its a little more than just mentioned), Mention of physical abuse/child abuse (not from Billy), Childhood Trauma, Mention of alcoholism, Moral/Religious conflict within one's self, My bad Spanish, Nun breaking her vows, Probably too quick of a healing process to be fucking someone but I'm not a doctor so 🤷🏻‍♀️, Using the word "drawers" instead of "panties" which is kinda cringe to me but I wanted to be somewhat accurate

Word Count: 9.6K

A/N: Billy's passed out for most of this but I hope y'all like it anyway. Please know I'm posting this and then running away. Okay, byeeeeeeeeee

Summary: When Billy stumbles into your clinic, hurt and in desperate need of care and refuge, you don't hesitate to help him. Perhaps this is God's will. Perhaps He has brought him into your life to help heal the parts of him that the cruelness of the world has soiled and broken. You are a healer by trade, both of the physical body and of faith. If this is to be God's mission for you, then it shall be done. How could you have possibly known that the young man who begged for help that fateful night would turn out to be the devil himself?

Translations:

Por Dios - Oh my God

Que Dios te bendiga - May God bless you

Qué sorpresa! - What a surprise!

Y él no quería que su mamá lo supiera. Así enterró la carne en el jardín - And he didn't want his mom to know. So he buried the meat in the garden

Pero el perro la desenterró y ella se descubrió de todos modos. Tuvo que lavar platos él solo por dos meses - But the dog dug it up and she found out anyway. He had to wash the dishes by himself for two months

Ese niño - That kid/child

Parece que era un buen amigo - Seems like he was a good friend

Sí, él era - Yes, he was

De nada - You're welcome

Gracias, Hermana - Thanks, Sister

They say the devil can take on many forms.

He is a demon figure - with the face of a goat, horns, hooves, and a blade pointed tail.

He is a great dragon - large and terrifying, destructive and formidable in the power he holds.

He is a roaring lion - hungry and fierce as he stalks God’s children, waiting for them to fall into his trap before he attacks them like prey.

But the devil was once God’s favorite angel, amazingly beautiful and wise. The angel of light, God’s morning star - a traitor now, a trickster . . . evil.

The Lord teaches love for all, compassion and understanding despite another’s upbringing or current situation. All humans are God’s children, all made in His perfect image, brothers and sisters in unity under His loving and eternal care. You are thankful to know this, grateful that you can feel His presence coursing through your veins despite the horror that you’ve come to face daily while working at the clinic. His gift to you is your endless drive to help those in need, sitting by the bedsides of the sick and dying, applying a cool rag to their sweaty foreheads, or spoon feeding them soup to give them strength when they are too weak to do it themselves. 

It is a taxing life, and the sorrow you feel when you cannot nurse someone back to health is ever present in your heart, but the Lord is clear in your life’s mission and you will be forever thankful for the lessons you learn in this lifetime. 

He has made you a healer, using you as a vessel for His healing touch for all you come across - regardless of wealth, status, religious affiliation, or criminal record. 

Which is why when he stumbles into the clinic during the late hours of the night, face pale and hand pressing hard to his side where blood is streaming through his fingers despite the pressure, you don’t hesitate to help him. 

You think you should have - should have let him bleed to death on the clinic floor. Would God have abandoned you if you had?

“Sister Maria!” You cry instead, running to the injured man and looping his arm around your shoulders to help him lean against you. “We need fresh towels and water! And sutures! Hurry!”

Sister Maria runs in the room, bedsheets still cradled in her arms from where she had been turning over a recently discharged patient’s room. She gasps at the scene, dropping the linens on the floor as she rushes to the main utility closet. You guide the man to a bed, helping him drop onto the thin mattress with a tortured groan. One of your hands splays over his, helping to maintain pressure on the wound until Sister Maria can bring in the needed supplies. Your other hand lays gently on his sweaty forehead, thumb caressing the straight line of his nose trying to soothe him. 

His baby blue eyes stare up at you through their pained haze. 

“P-please, help,”

The devil can take on many forms and carry many names.

And yet, despite all you’ve heard about who he is and what he’s done, you never once considered Billy the Kid to be one of them. 

Misguided and uncared for - sure, but never evil. 

He’s so young. You can’t even imagine what horrors he must have had to go through to lead him to the path that he’s on now.

Perhaps it’s fate that you’ve been brought together, an opportunity for you to spread the healing power of your Lord’s love and mend not only his body but his bruised heart as well. You’ve seen too many times where hardships have hardened the minds and spirits of others, caging them off from God as they struggle with their wavering faith. 

“Don’t you worry,” You say. “The Lord is here with us. He will see you through.”

Whether he groans from your words or the pain, you’re not sure.

Sister Maria is quick to grab the supplies, dumping them on the side table. She dunks a clean cloth in the water, wringing out the excess, but pauses when she sees his face. 

“Is that— ” 

“Nevermind that!” You hiss, pulling the cloth from her hand. 

You lift his shirt, exposing the injury and the dirt dusted skin framing it. It looks horrible, blood seeping from the laceration in a steady flow and a part of you is thankful that the sight of blood doesn’t make you immediately drop to the floor like your cousin, Paul. He gasps when you touch the cloth to the wound, blood immediately seeping into the white of the cloth and marring the pure color. 

His fingers dig into the fabric of his trousers, gripping it tight as he clenches his teeth against the pain. Your free hand rubs lightly against his forehead, trying to soothe him as best you can while you clean the wound. 

You think it must be God’s mercy that he passes out before you can pull the bullet out. The pain of the forceps digging into his body as you pulled out the thick ball of lead and the shock that would have come with it would have surely dragged him under had blood loss not gotten to him first. It’s better this way - he’s safer cradled in sleep’s loving hold rather than crying and jerking about as you try to save his life. 

Sister Maria holds a small bowl out in front of you with one hand while the other delicately holds his wrist, feeling his pulse between her dainty fingers.

The bullet comes out easy, your forceps finding the lead and guiding it out of the wound’s entrance with ease. It clanks as you drop it into the tiny bowl, and you send up prayers of thanks for allowing such a quick and simple removal. The grace of your Lord has certainly just saved this man’s life.

With quick fingers, you stitch him up, practiced movements securing the wound shut before covering it with a generous dressing of cloth to keep it clean from any dirt and debris. 

His sleep isn’t restful, the pinch in his brow and the way his cheeks twitch in the flickering candlelight of the small room make that clear. Your own brows pinch as you reach a hand out to trace the furrowed skin, smoothing it out with a gentle thumb. You don’t like seeing people suffer, but it’s more often than not that the people you come into contact with while working in the clinic are in pain, or suffering, or at Heaven’s doorstep. You help who you can and pray for the souls of the ones you can’t so they may be guided to God’s kingdom where they can live in an eternal paradise by His side. It always hurts when you can’t heal someone, the feeling of failure is a stark reminder that ultimately it is the Lord who chooses to give us life, and he can choose to take it away just as quickly. 

It feels different this time though, somehow more personal in a way you can’t understand. The young man before you still has his whole life ahead of him, still so much to do and so many lives to touch. The sins that he’s committed thus far can be forgiven, if only he lifts them up to Him and asks for forgiveness. You can feel it, deep in your bones, that you need to save this man. You can’t fail. 

He’s alive, for now. And you can only do your best to make sure he stays that way. 

“He cannot stay here,” Sister Maria says quietly, gathering the red stained water and rags. “They will find him.”

You nod, gathering the small bowl with the bullet remnant and the sutures kit. “We’ll keep him here tonight and move him to the back room in the morning after he’s rested a while,”

“No,” Sister Maria says. “He cannot stay here. Helping an outlaw is punishable by death. They will hang us,”

“God will not abandon us,” You say, firmly. “We are all His children, servants and outlaw alike. He wouldn’t want us to toss him out on the street to die.”

You look over your shoulder towards the sleeping man again. His brow is furrowed again, the sweat on his face glistening in the light. You sigh before turning back to Sister Maria. “Don’t worry, Sister. I’ll think of something,”

The pacifying words seem to offer Sister Maria no comfort, and her worried eyes snap upwards as she looks towards the ceiling, voice cracking as she breathes a pleading, “Por Dios,” up towards the roof. 

The room is silent to her plea.

You don’t leave Billy’s side the entire night, sitting in the chair directly next to the bed, dabbing at his heated face and neck with a damp washcloth and changing his bandage when the first one had soiled through. He wakes a few times during the night, icy blue eyes fluttering open and locking on yours for the briefest second before slipping closed once again, a quiet sigh escaping through his slightly parted lips. 

This is the hardest part - the waiting. Waiting to see if your hard work to heal someone was enough. You keep a close eye on him, looking for signs of pain or illness, keeping an eye on the injury site to try and prevent infection. You flushed it with alcohol during the dressing change, having found an extra bottle hiding in the supply closet while grabbing some fresh cloths. Supplies like alcohol for disinfecting, while needlessly abundant in saloons and brothels, are difficult to acquire for the clinic. You think it's foolish, wasting something that can be used for healing purposes on something as pointless as getting drunk. Your father had been a drunk, drinking away his cares and woes, his only goal was to make it to the bottom of a bottle. 

You wish you would have found it sooner so you could have actually disinfected the entire wound instead of just the outside and stitches, but this is better than nothing, you suppose. The smell as you pour it over his wound makes your stomach turn, reminding you of all the times your father came home reeking of the stuff, belly full of poison and his mind, hazed with drink, still evil enough to find your mother and make her suffer as if she were the reason he deemed himself a failure in life. Billy lets out a pained moan in his sleep, body subconsciously tensing in pain as the alcohol flushes the stitched up skin, but thankfully he doesn’t wake. You don’t want him to be in pain, but there’s a part of you that selfishly thinks he’s sharing your own pain, the memory of your childhood trauma somehow seeping into his brain as you recover his wound. 

You know it’s not true, but you’re thankful he’s there with you anyway. 

When morning arrives, you’re beyond exhausted. 

The night shift always takes more out of you than the day shift and your eyes have been threatening to close since the first rays of the sun started spreading across the dust covered floor of the clinic. 

Sister Ann and Sister Catherine arrive before the sun does, the first rays of it only starting to spill over the New Mexico horizon line when their footsteps echo through the entryway. You lean forward in your seat at the sound of them, glancing over at Billy’s still sleeping frame as Sister Ann’s gentle humming of a nursery song her mother used to sing to her spreads throughout the clinic. Quick footsteps cut through the song, the humming stopping entirely as frantic whispers sound from the entryway. And then three sets of running feet are getting closer to the corner room. 

“Oh, good heavens,” Sister Catherine breathes, eyes locked on the special patient taking up the small bed. 

Sister Ann has a dainty hand clasped against her mouth in shock and Sister Maria nervously wrings her own together from behind them. 

“He was hurt,” You say, immediately defensive of the injured man. “We couldn’t leave him to die. The Lord says–”

“You don’t need to preach to us, Sister y/n,” Sister Catherine interrupts. “It’s the right thing to do. The Lord is on our side.” She’s confident in her words, and it gives you comfort you didn’t know you needed to have your beliefs validated. But she pauses, eyes flickering once again to Billy before they meet yours - the fear in her brown orbs clear as day. “The law, on the other hand, will not be.” 

“We need to move him,” You say.

“To where?” Sister Ann whispers frantically. “The sheriff and his deputies are sure to show up here. They know he’s been shot, it’s only a matter of time.”

“It is a blessing they have not come already,” Sister Maria adds.

They’re right. With Billy injured, they have to know he couldn’t have gotten far. Their only saving grace is that the Sheriff more than likely would have never believed Billy would have come to the clinic for medical attention if on the run from the law. Perhaps holed up in some abandoned alley, bleeding out while propped up against a wall. Or maybe they think he tried riding out of town, desperate to get as far away from the people hunting him as possible before inevitably succumbing to his injuries and falling off his horse in a nearby field. 

You rise from the chair, leaning over the bed slightly to rest a gentle hand on Billy’s forehead. It’s still clammy against your palm and he shivers slightly in his sleep, subconsciously pressing his head a little harder against your hand looking for comfort in his pained state. He needs to get away from here, away from any prying eyes because if he’s found, his life on this Earth is over. He is in no position to run or fight for his life. The road to recovery for him is a long one if he hopes to heal well enough to regain his strength and usual mobility. The only thing he will have to look forward to if discovered before he can is a necklace of rope and a quick fall. 

“Help me get him to the back room,” You say, sternly. In moments of uncertainty and panic, someone needs to be the guiding light. Your fellow Sisters are still as stones in their spots, all in various states of distress as they look at the man who, if discovered under their care, could very well be the catalyst that marks the end of their missions here on Earth. The Lord brought Billy to you - you need to protect him. “He can stay in the alcove until we can figure out where to take him.”

“He cannot stay in the clinic!” Sister Maria exclaims. “They will surely check every room searching for him!”

“Trust me,” You soothe. “Please, Sister. We need to move him before they come or we will all surely pay the price.”

There is a short pause, but to your frantic brain it feels like an eternity before Sister Catherine nods and gently nudges Sister Ann to the opposite side of the bed. 

“Let’s hurry,” She says, reaching to pull away the thin blanket you threw over Billy’s shaking frame at some point during the night. “I fear we don’t have much time left.”

Together, the four of you lift Billy from the bed. It’s a struggle. Even for multiple women to carry a fully grown man, it's a task and a half just to get him from the small patient room to the back area of the clinic. He whines in his sleep, his wound jostling and stitches pulling from the regretfully poor stability you have on his body as you carry him. But, somehow, he doesn’t wake. 

The back room is small, but comparatively large compared to the patient’s rooms. The entire width is the size of two patient rooms combined, but that’s not giving it much grace. It makes you sick sometimes, to see people with money spending it on lavish items, large houses and grand parties just to show off their wealth when there are people in need all around whose lives would change if they only had a fraction of the wealth the ones in good standing do. As it is, the back room of the clinic is despairingly bare - limited backstock of supplies, linens, and food are scattered among the wooden shelves lining the room. If only those wealthy men who think to only fill their pockets would hear the Lord’s call to give to the needy instead. It would make your heart happy to see these shelves filled just once. 

There’s a small alcove in the back of the room that you and the other Sisters use when times prove most trying. On the days when things are difficult, emotions are too much for you to handle alone or a patient isn’t doing well and there’s nothing you can do other than wait and pray for their recovery, you visit the alcove. It's been adorned with simple yet revenant items, a small yet beautiful cross nailed to the center of the wall, a small ceramic dish holding a wooden beaded rosary placed on the floor below it, resting on a pleasantly fluffed up pillow - ready to help guide their prayer. 

Resting against the side wall of the alcove is a folded up cot. It’s not uncommon that one of the Sisters might have to sleep at the clinic during their off shift. More often than not, they are able to return to their lodgings to sleep and reenergize for their next shift. But there are times when too many people are injured, too many of the townspeople have fallen ill to whatever flu or illness that’s crossing through the town and all hands are needed here. The foldable cot is their home away from home, and while it might not be the most comfortable, you are thankful the Lord was able to provide it lest you be made to sleep on the floor behind the extra blankets neatly folded on the shelves. 

You all adjust your grips on the young man allowing for Sister Maria to release her hold and pull back the thick blanket shielding the entrance to the alcove. You grunt under the presence of the additional weight, the awkward grip you all have on him unhelpful in the way his limp body bears down on you all. Sister Maria is quick in tying back the privacy blanket so that it stays to one side, and works to wrangle open the finicky cot. Once it’s unrolled, you help in depositing Billy down onto the makeshift bed, quickly checking his wound to make sure no stitches accidentally ripped in the journey back here before turning to accept the fresh blanket Sister Ann hands you from the shelf. 

Billy’s brow is furrowed again, breathing a little harsher probably from the pain of being jostled. You lay out the blanket over top of him and pull it up to his chin, your hand reaching out to smooth the wrinkled skin between his eyes again. 

“What do we do now?” Sister Ann asks, and Sister Catherine pulls her hand away from where it was plucking nervously at the skin at the sides of her fingers.

“We wait,” She responds, cradling Sister Ann’s damaged hand delicately between her own. “We won’t be able to move him out of the clinic before the Sheriff arrives. We’ll have to keep him hidden here until then and pray they don’t find him.”

The thought of the Sheriff and his men finding Billy here makes your stomach churn. The undeniable fate that waits for you if he’s discovered is one that you’re willing to sacrifice. He’s come here for help, God has brought him here to you for your healing and protection and you can’t fail Him just because your humanity makes you fearful of your end. It’s supposed to be a beautiful thing - death. The moment when your soul on this Earth fulfills its mission here and your granted eternal life at the side of God in the Kingdom of Heaven. It’s what you’ve wanted your whole life, a life of peace and serenity that seems so out of reach here on the soil. Fear will not keep you from looking forward to it. But you’re not done here yet, you have many years left of helping others and spreading His love to those in need. This is not your end. But if it is, it’s worth the sacrifice to try to save Billy. 

You’ll hang with him, if need be. 

Your fellow Sisters though . . . the thought of them hanging for your own choice, regardless of if you think it was the right thing to do, makes you sick. Your decisions are your own, and they shouldn’t suffer for your choices. 

Billy’s forehead unwrinkles under your gentle fingers, and you can feel your heart break as you look down at him. He’s so young still, a young man just at the beginning of his life. He has so many fine years ahead of him. He’s handsome, fit and strong - he would make a fine husband for some lucky lady, a dutiful father for his children. He’s not as evil as they say. You’ve learned to trust your instincts when it comes to people. Sometimes the most misunderstood people are the kindest, and you can’t help but think Billy is the most misunderstood of all. You can’t sense a single whisper of badness in him. 

You stand up and pull the privacy blanket back in front of the alcove, hiding Billy from sight in the safety of God’s makeshift altar. Together, you and the other Sisters make your way out of the back room. A few rooms down a sickly man is coughing up a storm, and from how hard and continuous his coughs are, you know his throat is raw. Sister Ann shoots the rest of you a worried look, but turns to grab a water carafe off of a side table before rushing down the hall towards the coughing man and away from the current situation. 

“You can head back, Sister Maria,” You say, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. “Get some rest. It’s going to be a long day and we’re going to need you for the night shift.”

You can tell she’s torn, both wanting to stay and help in any way she can but seeming to know that there’s nothing she can do. All there is to do is wait. After a few moments, she nods, her own hand coming up to rest on top of yours. “Que Dios te bendiga,”

You watch as she makes her way towards the front, pushing open the wooden door before jerking to a halt. “Sheriff Garrett! Qué sorpresa!”

Her words sent a spark of panic through you. It’s so soon! You knew it was coming, but it’s still so incredibly soon. You had hoped for at least a while longer to try to gather your thoughts and think of a plan of where you can take Billy, but it feels like time moves slowly as the Sheriff and two of his deputies step into the clinic.

“Sister,” Garrett responds, respectfully tipping his hat. 

Even through your panic, you still feel a twinge of irritation. A gentleman would take off his hat, but you suppose it’s better than the two men standing behind him who do nothing but trail their eyes around the clinic's entrance suspiciously (and with a clear bout of judgment).

You know for a fact these men with gold lined pockets have never given so much as a dime to the clinic. 

Sister Maria turns back to look at you and Sister Catherine, desperation clear in her eyes and you're glad that none of the men are looking at her anymore or you think her obvious distress might have given you all away.

“Have a good rest, Sister,” You say, urging Sister Maria away. Thankfully, she listens, nodding to you and then Garrett before scurrying out the door. 

“How can we help you, Sheriff?” Sister Catherine asks. 

Garrett takes a few leisurely steps along the entryway, observing the interior of the clinic with the aura of a man who thinks he can see everything. You suspect he sees nothing at all. 

“I apologize for the interruption, Sisters. I know you’re hard at work," He says. “But we’re looking for an outlaw on the run.” He pauses, looking over at the two of you with pointed eyes. At your silence, he continues. “William H. Bonney, otherwise known as Billy the Kid,”

“Oh, dear,” Sister Catherine gasps. 

You feign concern also, bringing your fingers to your mouth as a sign of shock. Garrett nods in agreement at your supposed horror. 

“As you no doubt know he is a very dangerous, very unlawful, man,”

“So we’ve heard,” Sister Catherine says, nodding solemnly. “Is that what brings you in today?”

“Yes,” He says. “There was an altercation last night between him and I. I was able to shoot him so he is very hurt, but he got away before I could arrest him or finish the job.”

“Kinda stupid to come to a clinic when you’re a wanted outlaw, Pat,” One of the men behind Garrett grumbles. “We’re wasting our time here.”

You can’t help but agree, despite that being exactly what Billy did. But maybe that’s what makes it smart. You're hopeful that Garrett will listen to his friend, will assume that Billy couldn’t possibly be here and leave the clinic without investigating it. 

The small spark of hope dies as Garrett laughs without mirth. “The Kid’s not stupid. But we’re covering all our bases,” 

“Helloooooo,” A voice calls from another room opposite the patient still occasionally coughing up a lung. “Can someone please pay attention to the sick people around here? Hellooooooooooo?”

Sister Catherine smiles tightly. “Mr. Taylor,” She says by way of explanation. “A rather problematic patient here. He’s a good man, just impatient.”

Sister Ann’s voice can still be heard attempting to soothe her own charge, so Sister Catherine has no choice but to tend to Mr. Taylor. When she disappears from sight, you turn back to Garrett, trying your best to deter suspicion. 

“I can assure you, Sheriff, that we haven’t seen any sign of Mr. Bonney around here,” The lie leaves your lips far too easily for it to feel like the sin that it is.

Garrett nods, and you can tell he believes you, but puts his hands on his hips all the same, one hand pushing aside his coat to rest freely on the hilt of his gun. “Mind if we have a look around?”  

You force a smile on your face. “Not at all. As long as you don’t bother any of the patients. They need their rest,”

“Certainly,”

You lead him around the clinic allowing him and the deputies to search the rooms for their missing outlaw. When they get to Billy’s old room, the room they just vacated not minutes before the Sheriff arrived, you tell them that a patient was recently discharged and that you hadn’t had the time to turn over the room yet. 

“Why is there blood on ‘em?” One of the deputies asks, nodding to the blood stains still covering the stark white of the sheets. 

“A cooking accident,” You reply. “An incorrect knife hold can sometimes do that,”

Another lie. You feel this one a little more than the first. 

Eventually their search comes to the back room. You can’t keep them out, that would be too suspicious, so you allow them to walk through the half filled shelves. It's more than clear that there’s no place to hide anyone here other than the alcove and you're naively hoping they won’t even realize it’s there. 

It’s a large blanket hanging on the wall. Of course, they’re going to notice it. 

And, sure enough, one of the deputy’s eyes cut to the blanket. He heads towards it with a gruff “What’s behind here?” but you intercept him, rushing over to stand between him and the alcove.

The Sheriff and his deputies have their eyes on you now, each one closing in closer to you and the alcove, much too close for comfort.

“Sister,” Garrett says, voice stern with authority. “What’s behind the blanket?”

“It’s our place of prayer here,” You say, voice calm despite your nervousness. “Our altar.” You can’t mess up now. If you show any sign that you’re being untruthful, both you and Billy as well as your fellow Sisters out front will be on a one way trip to the courthouse. You’ll all die hanging from its top banister. “When healing doesn’t seem to be enough, it helps to have a place dedicated to God to call upon his everlasting power to perform miracles.”

Garrett nods. “Mind if we take a look?”

“Yes, actually. I do,” Your quick denial clearly catches him off guard, his eyebrows raising towards his hat. “Just as God bids us to modesty with our clothing, we must also show privacy and modesty in our places of worship. They’re sacred spaces. Surely you understand that, Sheriff,” 

The words feel like poison on your tongue. Using worship and prayer to cover up a lie is the catalyst that makes bile feel like it's rising in your throat. It’s not a lie, you have to remind yourself. It is a makeshift altar, you do use it as a place of worship and prayer. Just . . . not right at this moment. 

The reality of the situation is catching up with you, and you hide your slightly shaking hands by folding them together in front of you. You haven’t lied in years. You lied a lot as a child, a necessity of living with a father who’s anger could strike at a moment’s notice. You resented having to do it back then, forced to sin for the sake of trying to keep peace in the home. It’s much like the situation you find yourself in now, having to lie to try and protect another person. To protect yourself. 

When you found refuge at the convent all those years ago, you were told you would never have to be untruthful ever again.

“God is granting you freedom from your woes,” You were told, and you remember how light those words had made you feel. “Thank him for His good graces with your undying loyalty and strive to always be who He guides you to be.”

You hadn’t lied since, no matter how tough things seemed. Sickly patients lying on their deathbed, scared and begging you for any kind of reassurance that it wasn’t the end for them. You wouldn’t give them false hope. Instead, you would tell them to turn their worries to the Lord, clasping their hands in yours and praying with them.

“Your soul is strong, bright and ever-present,” You would tell them. Sometimes you would let them hold your rosary so they can find comfort in it. “The body is a temple, and we do our best in our life to care for it. You’ve done that. If it weakens now, it is because God is calling your soul back to Him.”

The guilt is clawing at your chest, but you force it back as best as you can as you meet Garrett’s eyes. “I ask that you don’t force us to desecrate that,” 

Garrett just stares at you, an unreadable expression on his face. One deputy just looks between you and Garrett, uncertain with how to proceed in the face of defying authority, and the other deputy that sneered at the thought of Billy even coming to the clinic scoffs at your words. 

“Listen, lady, the law–”

“John, enough,” Garrett interrupts, voice shockingly hard as his eyes cut to his deputy. “She’s a Sister and you’ll show her respect.”

You feel a quick spark of satisfaction at the way the deputy’s confident, power hungry facade dies under the Sheriff's ridicule. He mumbles a quick apology to which you accept with a nod despite how insincere it sounds. 

Garrett nods his head towards the door, silently gesturing for the other two to head towards the exit before he tips his hat at you directly, thanking you for your time and apologizing for any inconvenience their visit may have caused. 

You want to tell him it was no inconvenience at all, but you’ve already sinned enough today and you can’t bear the thought of intentionally adding to the tally without justified need. Instead you settle on curving your lips into a convincing smile, thanking the men in return for their brevity and understanding and wishing them a good rest of their day as you usher them out of the back room and towards the front entrance.

Every single muscle in your body relaxes once they are completely out of the clinic, relief washing over you as you whisper out a quick prayer of thanks to God for allowing everyone to get out of the overwhelmingly dangerous situation unscathed - at least for now. 

Sister Ann and Sister Catherine peek out of their respective rooms when they hear the front door swing shut, their wide eyes mimicking the relief you know is shown in your own. 

“I can’t believe they didn’t find him,” Sister Ann admits, and it pains your heart to see tears begin to well up in her eyes. “I thought this was truly the end for all of us.” 

You have her in your arms in an instant, cradling her small frame against your chest as she begins to cry in earnest. For as scary as it’s been for you so far, you can’t imagine what she’s been going through. Sister Ann and Sister Catherine have only known about Billy for less than no time at all. And yet, despite the short period of time between finding out about Billy, getting him into the alcove, and the entrance and departure of the Sheriff - you’re sure it probably felt like an eternity to her. 

“Hush now, Sister,” You whisper, running a soothing hand along her back. “You’re safe, I promise.”

Sister Catherine places one of her hands on Sister Ann’s back as well, but she’s looking at you when she speaks. “He still can’t stay here,”

You know that. You know. You got lucky that the Sheriff didn’t find Billy this time, but who's to say that he won’t come back when he’s unable to find his missing outlaw anywhere else? Covering all his bases, that’s what he said. He’ll come back again when he sees that his other ‘bases’ have turned up nothing but dead ends. 

Your older brother, Joe, has a cabin just outside of town. It’s a hidden place, specifically built for peace. No visitors. He lives alone, no wife or children to keep him company and he prefers it that way. 

“If I’m alone, I can’t turn into him,” 

You're positive he wouldn’t. Your brother is far from being anything like your father, but the task of trying to prove that to him seems to be out of your skillset. He tells you he’s happy with his life, that he’s chosen the path he feels he needs to be on just as you have. Who are you to pass judgment?

Joe likes the solitude, that much is certain. But he also has an adventurous spirit which guides him on lengthy trips from town to town, exploring all the world has to offer while never having to be tied to one place. He’s away now according to the last letter he sent you, planning to stay in Chihuahua, Mexico for a while and that he’s not sure yet when he’s going to be back. 

“It’s dangerous,” Sister Catherine pushes, taking your silence as reluctance.

“I know,” You say. “I know. I think . . . I think I have an idea.”

The cabin will be empty. Joe isn’t due back for the immediate future, and even if he does return earlier than you suspect he will, you and Billy won’t be in danger. Joe can be trusted. He’ll help you, if need be. You can’t imagine that the Sheriff would ever know about it. It’s secluded - far off of any of the usual paths. It’s safe there. The perfect place to hide the wanted outlaw for a while. He can rest there, heal up uninterrupted for a few weeks until he can safely move around on his own two feet again. 

Sister Catherine listens openly to the idea, but her face is pinched in displeasure. 

“We don’t have much of a choice,” She says, reluctantly. “It seems like the best place for him to disappear to until he’s healed.”

You can hear the underlying pause in her agreement loud and clear. “But?”

“The clinic cannot spare two of us. We would lose half of our staff and it is too much for one person to handle alone per shift,”

“I wouldn’t ask any of you to come with us,” You say. No, for as much as you believe God sent Billy into your life for a reason, this was your mission to bear. You’ve already put your fellow Sisters through enough.

“You want to go alone?” Sister Ann sniffles, raising her head up from your chest.

“You need to think about this,” Sister Catherine says, sternly. “You shouldn’t be alone with him. He is a child of God, yes. But he is also an outlaw and a man. Sometimes, one of those is worse than the other.”

They’re being protective. The more rational part of you is grateful for their concern, and you think that if the positions were switched and one of them were in your position instead, you would react the same way. But a part of you is bitter. They’ve heard the stories. You know exactly how cruel men can be and you know exactly what they’re capable of. It’s a risk you’re taking, but you feel called to take it anyway. Billy needs your help, and God would never put anything in your path that you can’t handle.

“The Lord will protect me,” Despite the truthfulness of your words, you can see how they do little to reassure them. Your next words are better. “The Lord will help me protect myself.”

Sister Ann looks at Sister Catherine, once again bringing her hands together to pick at the reddened skin at the edge of her nail. Sister Catherine sighs, and the back of her hand reaches up to tap her forehead as if feeling the temperature or wiping away sweat. 

“Alright,” She relents. “How do we get him to your brother’s cabin?”

“I don’t know,” You admit. “We need a wagon. Or a large wheelbarrow that we can put him in and attach it to a horse. I haven’t ridden a horse in a long time, but I’m sure I can manage.”

“Where are we supposed to get that?” Sister Ann’s tone borders on exasperated. 

As if answering your unspoken prayer, the door to the clinic opens once more, this time revealing a bright faced Samuel Anderson, carrying a crate full of fresh supplies. And behind him, lit up by the sunlight like a bright blessing, is his wagon.

Sam Anderson is the son of local store owner, Edward Anderson, the clinic's top provider for basic supplies that are not strictly medical. While medicine shipments and more specialty items are donated from suppliers farther away, and frankly much less frequent than necessary, Mr. Anderson and Sam never fail to come through with plenty of food for you to make soups and nutritious meals for your patients. On occasion, you even have enough to give away to the families who are stacked together in a small two bedroom on the edge of town. With eight children total between two families, you're honestly not sure how they manage - but you do your best to help when you can. 

Seeing Sam walk through the front door is like a beacon of light from Heaven is shining down on him. He’s smiling already, the crate of food handled carefully between his hands as he lets out a cheery, “Good morning, Sisters”. But as soon as he sees your faces, more specifically when he sees the tear tracks still visible on Sister Ann’s cheeks, he’s placing down the crate and across the clinic’s entrance in a second. 

“What’s going on?” He asks. His hands automatically reach out towards Sister Ann’s face as if to cup it, but he stops himself. Instead he just looks at her worriedly, his concerned gaze leaving her face for only a moment to glance at you and Sister Catherine before they’re back on her, voice low and gentle. “What’s wrong?” 

It’s no secret that Sam harbors some romantic feelings towards Sister Ann. There are days when you feel sorry for him - a young man, good and kind and generous, who you have no doubt would make a fine husband to any lucky woman is in love with one of the four women in the entire county who are incapable of returning his affection. But it’s moments like this when it’s easy to see God’s presence in other people. Sam is as respectful and kind as they come. He accepts his feelings can never be reciprocated and in turn uses his undying love and loyalty to Sister Ann by helping you all at the clinic with anything he can. 

Somehow, he doesn’t expect anything in return, never stares at Sister Ann with an ounce of lust in his eyes, and it warms your heart to see the godly quality that’s usually so absent in men so prevalent in him. 

“Something’s happened,” Sister Ann tells him, her voice still wobbly with emotion. 

“What?”

“Sam,” You say, calling his attention back to you. “I know I have no place to ask this and I won’t fault you if you decline, but– I’m asking.”

“Tell me,” He insists, pulling his hat from his head and holding it to his chest, and God bless how the sincerity in his voice bleeds into his words. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it,” 

So you tell him everything. Sam listens with wide eyes, shooting panicked glances at Sister Catherine and Sister Ann when you tell him about the Sheriff’s visit, and he’s genuinely sorrowful when your voice gets caught in your throat as you tell him that you had to tell some lies to get him to leave without discovering Billy. He’s nodding already when you mention your brother’s cabin.

“I’ll take you there,” He offers before you can even ask the question. “My wagon is always at your disposal.”

“It’s dangerous. If we’re caught, you would hang with us,” 

Sam lets out a breath, unconsciously glancing over at Sister Ann again. “If the four most wonderful and religiously minded people in town hang for trying to do the right thing, then this isn’t a town or even a world that I want to live in anymore. Please let me take you. It would be my honor,”

A small smile graces your lips as you reach out and gently cup his cheek in thanks. For as many men pull and grind on your nerves with their endless greed and manipulation tactics, Sam is a breath of fresh air - a truly God-fearing man with a good heart.

He’s another person that you’re putting at risk, another life in danger because of the choice you’ve made. You try not to think yourself too selfish. Surely the fact that Billy has turned up in your life is God’s plan, and He does not put obstacles in your way that you cannot overcome. 

He tells you that he’ll come back tomorrow. He has a delivery that’s expected in a town over and if he’s going to make it there and back before nightfall, he needs to leave before the sun comes up. 

“I’ll stop here first,” He says. “We can load him into the back of the wagon while most people are sleeping and make the trip to your brother’s before I head on my way.”

“Thank you, Sam. Honestly,”

“My pleasure,” He nods his head at you, replacing his hat and tipping it kindly towards Sister Catherine and Sister Ann. “Until tomorrow, Sisters,”

The door swings shut behind him as he leaves and you let out a deep breath, hands smoothing over the dark veil covering your head just to feel a bit more grounded before you pick up the crate of food Sam brought. Billy needs to eat something. You're not quite sure how long it's been since his last meal, but even if he ate a minute before bursting through the clinic’s doors in the early morning, he would surely still be hungry and in need of sustenance by now. His body is weak and it needs nourishment to heal. 

Billy’s still sleeping when you peek around the privacy blanket. His head is turned to the side and buried in his pillow as much as he can get it, mouth hanging open as he breathes. Your hand itches to reach out and touch him again, to smooth against his forehead or cup his cheek, maybe place your fingers under his chin to help close his mouth in hopes of him breathing through his nose instead so his mouth doesn’t dry out. 

You’re not sure where this desire is coming from. You’re as affectionate with your patients as any nurse should be - kind and supportive, offering comfort when needed, but not overly so that it can be considered inappropriate. You’re all brothers and sisters, children of God - yes. But there are still social norms that must be considered. 

It feels different with Billy for some reason. 

“I’m going to get you to safety,” You whisper. You’re unsure about if he can hear you in his sleep or not, but you feel the need to tell him anyway. “I promise.”

You fall asleep at some point during the night, slumped against the wall next to the alcove’s entrance. 

You don’t remember falling asleep. You remember feeling tired, exhausted by the stress of the day’s events, and how your eyelids were threatening to close permanently more and more with each blink. The soup you had made still sat out in the small kitchen, and you had wanted to stay close to Billy so that whenever he awoke, you would be there ready to help feed him.

Instead, you wake to the sound of Sister Maria giggling to your left and a low, unfamiliar but still soft voice speaking in Spanish to her.

“Y él no quería que su mamá lo supiera. Así enterró la carne en el jardín,” The voice lets out a small chuckle, the smile on his face evident in his tone despite you not being able to understand most of his words. “Pero el perro la desenterró y ella se descubrió de todos modos. Tuvo que lavar platos él solo por dos meses.”

“Ese niño,” Sister Maria laughs. “Parece que era un buen amigo.”

You can’t see his face, but you can hear how he loses the smile in his voice. “Sí, él era,”

Pushing yourself to your feet, you step over to where Sister Maria is kneeling in front of Billy’s cot. It’s only now you see the mostly finished bowl of soup in her hands. Billy’s sitting up slightly, back propped up against his pillows enough to allow him to sit up a bit straighter but not enough to pull too much on his stitches.

At seeing your movement, his eyes snap to your approaching frame, big blue orbs staring up at you and you can’t help the relief you feel at seeing them.

“You’re awake,” You breathe, a small smile pulling at your lips. “Thank the Lord,”

His lips twitch a bit in what looks like a suppressed smile. “Kinda sounds like I should be thankin' you,” He says, and you notice how prominent the shift in his accent is as he seamlessly switches from Spanish to English. “Sister Maria says that you’re the only reason I’m alive right now.”

You shake your head, humbly. “Oh, no. Sister Maria and I work together as a team. I couldn’t have done it without her aid,”

“You show no fear,” Sister Maria insists. “Where I hesitate, you show mercy and strength. It is because of you that we are all alive now.”

“See?” Billy says with a blinding grin, and you can’t help but notice how handsome he is while no longer at death’s door. “My angel,”

You feel your face heat up at the endearment. An angel. Surely the comparison shouldn’t fluster you like it does. You’ve thought of your fellow nuns as the embodiment of angels before, angelic beings put into human bodies by the grace of God to spread His word. You know that’s not exactly true, that you’re just using your belief of what God’s angels would be like and seeing those beings in your fellow Sisters just like Billy is doing with you now, but you’ve never once thought yourself to be comparable to such a holy being and the compliment makes you flush.

You run a hand across your face, feeling the warmth under your palm, and clear your throat. “Oh, well, thank you,”

Sister Maria stands, taking the nearly finished bowl of soup with her. “He has eaten plenty and I changed his covering as soon as he woke up. You will want to change it again when you get to the cabin.”

“That’s great. Thank you,”

“De nada. I’ll go check on the patients and keep an eye out for Sam,”

She nods to you and Billy before she turns to leave, a small smile pulling at her lips when Billy rasps out a soft, “Gracias, Hermana,”

When she’s gone, you take her place in front of Billy, kneeling at his side and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better thanks to you,” He responds, wide eyes trained on yours, a smirk playing at his lips as he continues. “Don’t feel much like I’m dyin’ anymore,”

A small laugh escapes you at his morbid joke. “Well, I’d say that’s a very good thing then,”

“Sister Maria said the Sheriff came lookin’ for me,” 

“He did,” You confirm. “The Lord kept us all safe though and has given us an opportunity to get you to safety.”

Billy’s eyebrow raises skeptically. “Sounds like it was more your doin' than the Lord’s,”

You try to not let the slight against God rattle you. You had sensed this was coming anyway. William H. Bonney a.k.a Billy the Kid is an outlaw afterall, and no outlaw becomes an outlaw while still maintaining a positive relationship with the Heavenly Father. He’s gone through many hardships no doubt, and has more than likely deemed his bad luck in life as God’s personal vendetta against him.

“The Lord speaks through all of us, if only we have an open heart to hear him.” You tell him.  “Fear can make His words harder to hear, and I’m thankful that He was able to guide my mind and heart enough through the fear for us to get to safety.”

“Hm,” Billy hums, and you can tell how much he doesn’t believe your words. He doesn’t argue though. “And where exactly is this safe place you’re gonna take me?”

“My brother has a cabin just outside of town. It’s well secluded and unknown to most. We’ll be safe there until you’re healed enough to go on your own.”

Billy’s eyes drop to your hand still resting on his shoulder, thick dark lashes casting shadows on his cheeks before his bright blue eyes are locked on yours again. “You gonna be takin’ care of me, Sister?”

“Of course, I will,” You reply. “We shall see you well again, Billy. I promise.”

His own arm crosses his chest so his hand can rest on your own, his eyes wide and so earnest as he whispers a quiet, “Thank you,”

It’s only about an hour longer before Sam arrives. It’s still early morning, the sun still a ways away from coming up behind the horizon line, and town is silent. Sam pulls his wagon up to the back door of the backroom before coming around the front to help push it open from the inside. It’s been so long since it’s been opened. The door was once used for the scheduled delivery of goods for easy access to the storage area, but as years went on and the county and surrounding counties became overrun with greed and poverty, the shipments became less frequent. Now, anything needed just comes through the front door. It’s never too much anyway, so what’s a trip or two to the backroom while carrying a crate. 

Sam slams his body against the door a few times, the wood groaning in protest under his weight before it finally swings open. Billy watches from his place on the cot, his eyes threatening to close but forcing himself to stay awake. You want to tell him to sleep, he needs his rest to help him heal and recover, but you’re too busy checking your bag to make sure you haven't forgotten anything before tossing it in the back of the wagon. You need to leave before the townspeople start to wake up. If someone sees you, if just one person witnesses you smuggling away a wanted outlaw, then all of this would have been for nothing. 

“Sister y/n,” Sam calls, squatting at the head of the cot. He’s got his arms wrapped around Billy’s torso. “Come grab his legs. We’ll do our best not to jostle his wound,”

You come to a kneel at Billy’s legs, placing a comforting hand on his knee. “Do your best to relax, okay? If you tense, you might tear your stitches,”

Billy lets out a harsh breath through his nose, clearly nervous, but he nods anyway, brows furrowed in determination. 

Together you and Sam hoist him up. He gasps, groaning as his wound pulls but you can see how he’s trying to keep his stomach untensed. Getting him into the back of the wagon is not graceful, and you find yourself spewing endless apologies the whole time despite the relatively short journey. 

Sam’s laid out a bed of hay covered by two thick blankets throughout the entire bed of the wagon. Crates of food and other supplies take up half of the bed, but he’s managed to make it so Billy will have enough room to lay comfortably on his designated side. Billy sighs as he’s laid down on it, one of his legs bent at the knee and his palms pressing into the makeshift mattress as he cranes his neck up to look at you. You ball up a spare blanket, tucking it under his head before you push him back down with a gentle hand on his forehead.

“Rest now, Billy,” You tell him, crawling out backwards and helping Sam slide on the rectangular backing on the wagon to secure it shut. “We’ll be there when you wake up,”

His eyes stay locked on you as you circle the wagon towards the front. Sam helps you up onto the spring seat before jogging around the rear and hauling himself into the driver's seat. You smooth out your tunic, looking around the dark street for any suspicious or wandering eyes that might be peeking out from around buildings or through windows. You don’t see any, even as one of the horses whinnies when Sam urges them forward. The clinic is located towards the edge of town, so it only takes a few minutes of nervous eyes and your head on a swivel before the wagon is passing the final few buildings that mark the town’s end of population and you can relax.

You blow out a deep breath, meeting Sam’s equally relieved gaze as he snaps the reins and nudges the horses a little faster. You look over your shoulder to check on Billy and you’re expecting to see him sleeping, no doubt still exhausted from the trauma of taking a bullet. Instead, he’s looking at you, head twisting so he can see your elevated frame from his laid out position. His eyes seem to pierce into yours, so blue and intense as he watches you that it makes your breathing hitch in your throat. 

You’ve never seen eyes so beautiful before. Like endless pools of glistening water. Surely God must have taken much care when crafting them for him. 

You feel your skin prickle under his stare, body straightening in your seat. He doesn’t stop watching you.

“Sleep,” You tell him. “You’re safe, I promise.” And thankfully he listens, eyes trained on your face for just a moment more before closing his eyes. The tingling feeling in your body dissipates with the removed gaze. 

Your gaze turns around the front again, looking out to the vast stretch of land before you as you leave the civilization of town behind.

“Sam,” You start, looking for anything to pass the time and distract from whatever unusualness just happened between you and your charge. “How’s your mother?”

#𝑇𝑎𝑙 𝑊𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 ✎ #billy the kid smut #billy the kid x reader smut #billy the kid x reader #dark!billy the kid #tw: noncon #tw: non con #tw: dubcon #tw: dubious consent

[mxckiemxn]

Standby

Chapter 2-Signs

Warnings: swearing, violence, death, anxiety, weapon use (guns, knives, etc), vivid descriptions of gore, mentions of torture (no main characters), slight hostage situation, slight mentions of dissociation, reader may be losing it a bit idk idk

Word Count: 6,038

Taglist: @rkive-joonie @tweetiebirb

Authors note: this one is a bit of a doozy lol. Reader just cannot catch a break 😔 (I know it’s my fault but it builds character lmao). There’s quite a bit of foreshadowing thrown in here so I’d love to hear y’all’s theories 🙊. Let me know what y’all think about this chapter, and as always, feel free to reblog if you like it! ~Mackie 💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's now been two days since you met Hobi and his friends, and today you were going to help them look for supplies. You couldn't quite comprehend why you’d volunteered to go out. You didn't have nearly as much experience as they did when it came to dealing with the zombies. Yeah, maybe it was easier to face them when you were part of a group, but you had been alone up until now.

You had the basic knowledge of how to deal with them, but no amount of preparation or intelligence could take away the overwhelming reality of the current state of the world. The truth is, nothing is guaranteed. There are no promises that could be made in regard to someone’s safety, they’d all be empty.

The harsh reality is that at any given moment, one of us could turn into a monster. Whether it happens because you’ve been bitten and are now infected, or you simply give in to the darkness inside of you. Either way, becoming something that you don’t want to become seems somewhat inevitable at this point.

You already felt it from the moment this mess began. You saw it when you fired a bullet directly into a zombie’s head to save Hobi. Sure, zombies were just a shell of the person that they once were, but they were still a person at some point. A human being with thoughts, feelings, goals, and aspirations. Someone who was loved by others and loved those people right back. You couldn’t help but wonder if the only difference between zombies and those who were still alive was as simple as a heartbeat.

There was no time to reconsider the solidity of your moral compass. The boys took you in and you needed to help them. Fresh water and a warm meal was somewhat unheard of these days, but that didn’t stop them from doing what they could for you.

You dressed yourself in a pair of jeans, along with a long sleeved shirt and boots before tying your hair up into a ponytail and sliding on a black baseball cap. You gave yourself one final look over before grabbing your gun and heading downstairs. Everyone else was already down there, standing in the dining room. Everyone’s bags were laid out on the dining table along with various weapons. You were greeted by Jimin who was leaning against the countertop.

“Ah, Y/N!” He exclaimed, drawing everyone’s attention towards you, as he motioned for you to stand by him.

“Good morning, everyone.” You greeted as you joined Jimin.

Much to your surprise, Hobi didn’t rush over to greet you as he did the previous morning. Instead, he remained silent as he stood in the corner by Yoongi who also kept quiet as his sight remained glued to the floor.

Great, they’re both upset with me. You thought to yourself. You understood Hobi’s hesitation when it came to you deciding to join them on a supply run. I mean, you were going in a smaller group opposite of his, and according to his statement to Taehyung the other day, he promised himself that he’d protect you. Yoongi, however, was a mystery. One that you were sure you’d figure out one day, but today was not that day.

“Are you ready?” Namjoon asked as he walked over to you, handing you your bag.

“I’m ready.” You said between a deep breath.

“Each group has a radio, including myself. They’re long range so team one and team two will be able to alert each other in case they need help. I won’t be able to hear you all once you pass the halfway point.” He said, referring to the location in between each team’s destination and the house. “Keep your gun in your back pocket but avoid using it if you don't have to. You don’t want to alert more zombies than you need to. I placed a miniature hatchet in your bag, use that if you can.” He finished as you nodded in response.

“We’ll be taking mine and Yoongi’s cars this time, so let’s try to get as much as we can.” Jin added.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all made your way outside and began loading up the separate vehicles. You were in the middle of sorting through your bag, pulling out the hatchet to have it prepared when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around and were met with Hobi’s kind eyes.

“Hi.” He said softly with a weak smile.

“Hey. Listen, I know that you want me stay back but-“ you began but were interrupted as Hobi gently held up your arm, taking off the bracelet on his wrist and placing it on yours. “What’s this?” You asked as you began examining it. It was purple and twine-like with beads that spelled out “hope” in the middle.

“This is my favorite bracelet. I never take it off.” He stated simply, as he kept a gentle hold on your wrist.

“So, why are you giving it to me?” You asked, a bit bewildered.

“Because it’s my favorite, which means that you have no choice but to be safe and make it back home so you can return it to me.” He said sweetly, causing you to reach up to wrap your arms around his neck.

“I promise to give it back to you.” You whispered as you pulled away to look at him. He didn’t try to stop you from going. Didn’t try to argue with you about it. As much as he didn’t like it, he respected your decision and accepted it as your own to make.

“We should get going. Be safe out there, Y/N.”

“You be safe too, Hobi.” You told him before climbing into the backseat. Yoongi entered the driver's side with Jimin in the passenger. You all gave Namjoon a final wave before pulling off, following behind Jin’s car.

The car ride was silent. Even Jimin, who was typically a ball of energy, kept quiet. It seemed like everyone was nervous about the trip and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was the same for the other group.

“Namjoon Hyung, we’ve made it to the halfway point.” Jimin spoke into the radio, letting Namjoon know that we would no longer be in contact with him.

Your anxiety arose slightly as the car in front of you made a left while your car made a right. This was it. No going back now. Yoongi drove for a few more minutes before the car came to a stop.

“Fuck.” He said, causing you to look out of the front window. The rest of the path was blocked off by a row of cars.

“What should we do?” Jimin asked as he looked at Yoongi.

“There’s no way for us to drive through. We’re going to have to walk. We aren’t too far away from the shop.” He groaned as he began pulling the car to the side of the road before parking. “Radio the other team, let them know that we’re continuing on foot.”

Jimin did as he was told, letting Jin know that our path was blocked and that the only way we’d get through is by walking.

“Alright, we need to move carefully. I don’t know if those cars were placed there in an attempt to keep zombies out or people. Either way, we stay alert and don’t draw any attention to ourselves.” Yoongi said as he glanced at both you and Jimin.

You hadn’t considered that the barrier might’ve been created to prevent people from getting through. The fact that some people were still alive was new to you.

“What do you mean, could there be another group here?” You asked him.

“I don’t know. Hopefully we don’t find out.” He stated simply. You turned your attention to Jimin who seemed as anxious as you were.

“We’ll be okay.” Jimin said and you weren’t sure if he was trying to reassure you or himself. Either way, it wasn’t very convincing.

You all made your way out of the car, weapons in hand as you began making your journey. Yoongi led the way with Jimin behind and you following. Slowing down as you all came across a sign hanging from a traffic light reading “TURN BACK”.

“Let’s keep moving.” Yoongi whispered.

As you reached your destination, you all found yourselves staring at the entrance. The doors and windows were all locked and none of you wanted to risk breaking them as it’d alert anything around you.

“Let’s check the rear entrance.” You said, as you began circling the building with the others trailing behind you. The back door was locked as well but you noticed a window to the right side of it that was ajar. It wasn’t excessively high up, but there’s no way that you all could climb through on your own.

“One of us could climb in through here and open the door for the others.” You stated as you turned to face the two behind you.

“Jimin-ah, lift me up. I’ll let you both in.” Yoongi said as he began taking his backpack off.

“No, I can do it.” You said, handing your bag to Yoongi.

“Y/N, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Jimin asked you with a hint of hesitation in his tone.

“She’s not going. We have no clue what’s waiting for us on the other side.” Yoongi stated sternly.

“I wasn’t asking for permission. What makes you think that you can tell me what I can and can’t do?” You argued.

“I’m the one leading this goddamn team.” He snapped back.

“Well, I’m the only one with a gun, Yoongi. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one who knows how to use one.” You refuted as you looked at the both of them.

Yoongi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. You were right and he knew it. You were the only one within your group who could fire a guaranteed shot. “Hoseok’s going to fucking kill me.” He groaned.

“Y/N, get on my shoulders and see if anything is in there.” Jimin told you, doing his best to cut through the tension. You nodded as you carefully climbed onto his shoulders as Yoongi kept a hand on your back to keep you from falling.

You attempted to open the window more, stopping abruptly and cringing a bit as you heard it begin to squeak. The wind started to pick up, allowing the scent of the room to air out. You began smelling the familiar stench of a rotting corpse, causing you to gag a bit as you covered your nose with your sleeve. It was then that you noticed the amount of dried blood all over the floor and walls.

There were some hidden corners in the room, and you were unsure if a zombie or another person could be occupying them. You were taken from your thoughts as you heard a light growl. You turned your attention to the sound, breath catching in your lungs as you saw it. Out of the shadows, a zombie appeared. It was a male and he looked young, probably in his early twenties.

As he got closer, you saw something that you were sure would never leave your mind. His eyes were gone, almost as if they’d been perfectly gouged from his head. It was clear that he hadn’t done it to himself, as you noticed that his wrists had been zip tied together and a sign hung from his neck reading “TRAITOR”.

As he dragged his feet across the floor, it became evident that he couldn’t see you. You looked down at Yoongi who was watching you with a concerned expression, as he saw how uneasy you looked. You said nothing, however. Instead, you raised a finger to your lips, signaling him to remain silent. Namjoon’s words lingered in your mind, reminding you not to use your gun unless you absolutely had to.

You carefully began crawling through the window, attempting to remain as quiet as possible. There was a desk directly below the window with papers and cans scattered around it. Your movements remained slow as you entered the other side, doing your best not to knock anything over in the process. Luckily, you succeeded but now you were wondering how you’d get down without knocking anything over.

You crouched down and placed your hands on the table for support. You managed to guide your feet to the floor and readied yourself, gripping the hatchet in your hand tightly. You took small steps to the creature who was swaying side to side. You felt a hint of guilt as your eyes remained fixed on his hollow, bloody sockets.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, causing the creature to open his mouth and let out a deep groan. You cut him off as your hatchet made connection with his skull, landing right in the middle. He remained still for a moment, mouth still hanging open before he began to fall. You carefully guided his lifeless body to the floor, refusing to let him go until he was completely flat. You didn’t know if anything else was roaming around here, and the last thing you needed was a loud thud giving away your position.

You released a shaky breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding as you looked at him. He died twice. You thought to yourself. You didn’t know who he was or what he did, but you knew that he didn’t deserve to die that way. It was unclear if he was bitten before he’d been tortured or after. Either way, he didn’t pass away peacefully. He was murdered brutally.

You shook your head as you tried to push away those thoughts, guiding your attention back to the task at hand. You turned to the door, carefully pushing it open to allow the two men to enter. Jimin’s eyes met yours and he quickly came to check on you. It wasn’t until that moment that you realized you’d been crying.

“Holy fuck.” Yoongi whispered causing Jimin to turn his attention to whatever Yoongi was looking at.

“How could someone do that?” Jimin said, now understanding why you were so upset.

“It doesn’t matter. He can rest now. C'mon, let’s get what we need and get out of here.” You said in an emotionless tone as you began wiping your tears.

“She’s right, Jimin. Let’s go.” Yoongi’s tone was a bit different than it had been before. His words were soft, but there was a hint of sadness coating them. Maybe he was going through the same thought process as you were. You turned to face him. The look he gave you was one of empathy, and he offered you a reassuring nod that you reciprocated.

Yoongi began leading the way once again, cautiously stepping out of the room as Jimin followed. You stopped in the doorway, turning to face the corpse once again. “I hope you’re at peace.” You whispered before following the other two.

You all searched around for supplies, finding various canned goods and some drinks as well. You grabbed some hygienic products that you found scattered along the floor before continuing your search. You paused as you came across some books. You looked around to make sure that the others weren’t watching you before directing your attention back to them.

You weren’t sure what it was, but something within you felt the need to make amends with Yoongi. Sure, he was being a bit of an asshole earlier, but we were all just trying to do our best to survive. You thought for a moment before grabbing a couple of them to give to Yoongi once you all made it back home, placing them in the front pocket of your bag. You began looking for more supplies again, finding more cans of food hidden underneath one of the shelves.

You stretched your arm out as you tried to reach all of them, your hands brushing against something small and flat. You laughed lightly as you inspected the item. It was a chocolate bar, still wrapped perfectly. You began searching for a date to make sure it was still good, letting out a satisfied hum when you saw that it wasn’t expired yet. You placed it in your bag next to Yoongi’s books. You figured you could give it to Hobi when you returned his bracelet to him.

Once you all were certain that you’d properly cleaned out the shop, you began making your way back to the car.

“We made it!” Jimin said buoyantly as you all climbed into your seats.

You were relieved to say the least, but you still couldn’t shake that image from your mind. You’ve seen zombies before and you knew that each of them had a story, but this was the first time that you’d witnessed something so intense.

“I’m going to check on the others.” Yoongi said as he reached for the radio.

“Seokjin Hyung?” Yoongi spoke into the device.

“Yeah, are you all alright?” Jin responded rather quickly.

“We’re okay. We’re heading back now. Are you guys almost done?” Yoongi asked.

“We’ve just left. See you soon.” Jin said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive back wasn’t nearly as silent as before, but the energy was still lackluster.

“I think we should tell the others about what we saw. We don’t know if the people who did that are still out there.” Yoongi stated. You didn’t want to relive that experience, but you understood where he was coming from. So, you agreed, as did Jimin. If someone could do something like that to someone they knew, then what would they do to complete strangers?

As you approached the house, you saw Namjoon and the others unloading the first car. They all turned their direction to your group, waving and offering big smiles. You barely had time to step out of the car before Hobi ran up to you, embracing you in a tight hug which you reciprocated.

“You made it!” He said brightly.

“I promised you I would.” You laughed.

“I missed you.” He said as he pulled away, keeping his hands on your shoulders.

“I missed you too, Hobi. Actually, I got you something.” You told him. You turned to grab your bag and opened the front pocket to redeem the chocolate bar before handing it to him. “I only found one, so don’t let the others see.” You whispered.

“You should keep it for yourself then!” He said with wide eyes as he tried to give it back to you, causing you to cross your arms.

“Nope, I got it for you. Someone so sweet should have something sweet.” You said, causing him to smile bigger than he already was. You weren’t sure how it was even possible, but you enjoyed the view, nonetheless.

“Thank you, Y/N! Let’s split it.” He insisted.

“Whatever you want, Hobi.” You agreed, motioning for him to hide it as the others began walking up to you, greeting you with warm smiles.

They were happy to see you, and you were just as happy to see them. You didn’t know them well at all, but you still found yourself comforted by their presence.

After everyone unloaded their bags onto the dining table, the boys began looking through everything. Seokjin’s team had a great haul, also finding various canned goods and drinks along with a few snacks like chips and protein bars that were still good. You managed to sneak upstairs to hide the books you grabbed for Yoongi. You placed them in the bedside table along with your gun before heading back downstairs.

All of the items had been put away into the cabinets and everyone was sitting at the table, chatting away as Namjoon finished plating the food he’d made for us. Just like the previous day, you sat in between Hobi and Jimin. Namjoon passed out bowls of soup to everyone. No one’s bowls were completely full as we needed to make sure things lasted as long as possible.

Everyone began talking amongst each other and this time you allowed yourself to join them. You felt as if you were getting to know them better as they told you about their lives’ when everything was normal, and you told them about yours. Jungkook told you about all of his tattoos, and you two joked about getting matching ones when all of this ended. If all of this ended.

You realized that you’d never given Hobi back his bracelet, and it seemed like he forgot to ask for it back.

“Here, I forgot to give this back to you.” You said softly, holding the piece of jewelry in your hand for him to take.

“You keep it.” He told you.

“But it’s your favorite.”

“It is, but I want you to hold onto it for a bit longer. Think of it as your lucky charm.”

You thought for a moment as you put the bracelet back on. You wanted to give him something in return. Something that would inspire him to stay safe at all costs, because he knew that he’d need to return it to you at some point. It felt like a lightbulb turned on when you realized that your hair was still in a ponytail, and you were still wearing your hat.

“Choose.” You told him, holding both your hat and your scrunchie in each hand. He began tapping his finger against his chin in an animated manner.

“How about this? It’s basically the same thing.” He said as he pointed to your scrunchie, causing you to laugh a bit as you slid the item onto his wrist.

“There, now we both have lucky charms.”

Everyone finished their meals, but we all remained at the table. Far too engrossed in our conversations to be bothered with getting up from our seats.

“Everyone-“ Yoongi spoke loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. “Jimin, Y/N, and I witnessed something during our trip that we think you all should know about.” He finished. You and Jimin shared an uncomfortable look with each other. Neither of you wanted to talk about it, but you knew that it needed to be done.

“What happened?” Namjoon asked inquisitively.

You guys told them everything. About the cars, the sign in the road, the zombie. Every weird thing that you witnessed. You made sure to avoid mentioning the fact that you entered the building on your own, knowing that Hobi would be pissed at Yoongi and Jimin for allowing it. They didn’t express it, but they noticed what you were doing, and they were grateful for it.

“That’s awful.” Tae said as he sighed deeply at the end of the story.

“You guys didn’t see anyone around?” Jin asked.

“No, we didn’t. We weren’t sure if they’d left or if they were dead now too.” You told him.

“I’m just glad that you all made it back safely.” Jungkook stated.

“This isn’t good. There’s no telling how long that guy had been there.” Namjoon said, somewhat stating the obvious. Although, we were all thinking the same thing.

“What should we do? I mean, if they’re still alive and they’re still around, what’s to say we won’t run into them?” Jin asked.

“Maybe we should consider moving?” Hobi suggested.

It was an uncomfortable thing to think about, but this was the reality you all were faced with. The people who killed that man could still be alive and for all you knew, they could still be in the area. No one could say how many there were of them. We couldn’t just take a risk and assume that we’d be fine.

“It’s something to think about. We’ve talked about going somewhere else when we couldn’t find any more supplies, but we never planned for something like this.” Namjoon said.

You all remained silent for a moment as everyone began weighing out the options, not that there was a lot to begin with.

“Y/N, I need something from you.” Namjoon said, causing you to sit up and give him your full attention.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I need you to teach us all how to shoot.” He stated, causing everyone to turn to you.

“I can do that. We need to find somewhere that we can practice without making too much noise.” You told them.

“I agree. I know we were trying to avoid making two trips this week, but we’re going to need more guns. Ideally, everyone would be armed.” Namjoon said.

“There’s a shooting range not too far from here. I think that they sold rifles as well for hunting.” Yoongi stated.

“We can start searching there. Maybe we can find some suppressors as well, it’d make training a lot easier." You responded.

“It’s settled. I’ll go with you and everyone else will stay here.” Namjoon stated.

“Shouldn’t half of us go? I can come too. It’s dangerous for both of you to go alone.” Hobi asked.

“It is dangerous, which is exactly why you all need to stay here. A group is too noticeable. I’m not sending Y/N out by herself, and I don’t know enough about guns. Besides, I stayed back today.” Namjoon told him.

“We’ll be ok. Maybe you guys could try securing the house a bit more? It would give us some extra protection until we decide where we’re going.” You stated to everyone, but you were mainly speaking to Hobi in an attempt to calm his nerves.

“We still have a few hours of daylight left. We can go now.” You told Namjoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone who was hanging back remained at the table, discussing ways that they could secure the house. You ran upstairs to grab your things and headed back down.

“Here.” Yoongi said as he placed his car keys in your hand. “Namjoon doesn’t have a lot of experience driving. You can take my car. It has more gas in it than Jin’s.” He continued.

“Thank you.” You said as you placed the keys in your pocket.

“It’s no problem. Just don’t wreck it.” He lightheartedly joked.

“Oh, I’m going to drive it into the nearest tree.” You said sarcastically, causing him to roll his eyes but you could see the smirk that he was trying to hide.

“Are you ready?” Namjoon asked as he grabbed his bag.

“Yep, let’s go.” You told him before quickly making your way over to Hobi. “We’ll be back before you know it.” You whispered to him, trying not to interrupt the others who were still talking.

“I know you will. We still have a chocolate bar to split.” He said, causing you to let out a small laugh.

Yoongi wasn’t lying when he said that the range wasn’t far. It took less than 10 minutes to get there, which was relieving. You felt as if you and Namjoon could grab what you needed without much trouble. As you parked the car across the street from the store, you couldn’t help the confusion building inside of you. The windows were still intact, seeming as if no one had attempted to get in.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that no one’s broken in?” You asked as you turned to face Namjoon.

“A little bit. I think that they may have protective glass. Maybe that’s why?” He suggested.

“I guess that could be it. How in the hell are we supposed to get in then?”

“We’ll just have to scope out the area. I can try to pick the lock if I need to.” He said, causing you to nod.

As you both made your way to the store entrance, you began looking through the windows in search of any zombies or people, just as Jimin had instructed you to do earlier in the day. Everything seemed perfectly intact. No guns were missing from the walls behind the counter. There was no indication that someone had gone in and trashed the place, it all looked untouched.

“I’m going to check around the back. Maybe there’s an entry point there.” You told Namjoon as he began fumbling with the lock, letting out a low hum in response.

As you began circling the building you felt as if you were repeating your steps, just at a different store. You knew that history tended to repeat itself, but you’d hoped that it wouldn’t happen to you within the same day.

Once you reached the back of the building, you paused for moment and peeked around the corner as you noticed a truck parked in the back. Your intuition seemed to be screaming at you. Sure, there were tons of abandoned cars everywhere, but something in you made you feel as if that one still belonged to someone.

You quickly made your way to the front of the range to let Namjoon know what you saw, but you froze as you reached your destination. The door hung wide open with no sign of the man you came here with. He could’ve easily gotten in on his own, but you knew that he wouldn’t have just left you. You took a deep breath before readying your gun as you snuck into the building.

You carefully peeked around each corner as you began heading down the hallway. You slowed down a bit as you heard sounds of a struggle and a voice that belonged to your friend.

“Get the fuck off of me!” He yelled.

“No, not until you tell me why you’re here. Are you alone?” You heard another man’s voice tell him.

“For fucks sake I was looking for a gun and I’m by myself.” Namjoon said. He wasn’t going to let this random man know that you were with him.

You peeked around the corner with caution, the man’s back was facing you as he had Namjoon pinned the floor with a knife to his neck. You slowly creeped up behind him, putting the gun to his head and clicking it.

“Drop your weapon and get off of him.” You said sternly, hoping that he couldn’t sense the shaking of your hands.

The man did as he was told, dropping the knife beside him and standing up with his hands raised. He attempted to turn around to face you, but you pressed the gun harder against him, causing him to stop with a flinch.

“Don’t fucking move unless I say so!” You yelled as you began pushing him, directing him to stand against the wall. You glanced at Namjoon who was trying to catch his breath as he stood up.

“Go find something to tie him up with.” You told him, cocking your head to the side as to guide him.

“L-look, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to hurt him. I just wanted to know who he was.” The man stuttered.

“Don’t lie to me.” You told him.

“We can work this out! You guys can take whatever you need, and we’ll go on about our days.” He pleaded.

“Something tells me that it won’t be that simple.” You told him.

“I found some rope.” Namjoon said as he sprinted back into the room.

“Put your hands behind your back.” You instructed the man, who did as he was told.

“Tie him up.” You directed Namjoon as you kept the gun pressed to the man’s head.

Namjoon quickly did as you instructed him to do, unsure of what the end plan was. To be honest, you didn’t know either. You were just trying to find a way to keep the two of you safe without having to injure the man.

“Here.” You whispered as you carefully guided Namjoon's right hand to take the place of yours holding the gun. “Keep an eye on him. If he moves, pull the trigger.” You finished, making sure to state the last sentence loud enough for the man to hear.

Once you were sure that Namjoon was in a good position, you quickly grabbed both of your bags and made your way to the front of the store to fill them up. You grabbed everything that you could including bullets, handguns, suppressors, and the two hunting rifles that were hanging on the wall.

You began loading one of the rifles that was hanging by its strap on your shoulder and headed back to Namjoon. The man was babbling on about any and everything in an attempt to persuade the two of you to release him.

“You won’t get away with this!” He cried. “My friends will come looking for me.”

“Listen to me-“ you said, cutting him off. “We are going to leave and you aren’t going to try and stop us. I’m not going to kill you, but I promise you that if you or any of your friends try to find us, I will not hesitate. I will kill each and every one of you. Do you understand me?” You growled.

“Y-yes. I understand.” He whined.

“Good. Get down on your knees, do not turn around.” You instructed, as you handed Namjoon back his bag.

Once the man was on the floor, you began backing out of the room with Namjoon following you. You quickly closed the door and grabbed a chair, placing it underneath the doorknob before hastily returning to the car and speeding off.

“Shit!” Namjoon breathed.

You didn’t respond. Too focused on the road and checking your mirrors to make sure that you weren’t being followed.

“You saved my life, Y/N. Thank you.” Namjoon expressed gratefully.

“You don’t need to thank me. You would’ve done the same.” You breathed, slowly relaxing a bit when you were a good distance away from the building.

“I know, but still. I wouldn’t have made it out of there if it weren’t for you.”

“Do you think he was being honest about his friends?” You questioned as his words replayed in your mind.

Namjoon signed deeply before responding. Shaking his head lightly. “I don’t know.” He admitted as he turned to face you.

You simply nodded as you bit your lip and attempted to fight the tears that were burning your eyes. You knew that you did what you needed to do. The man would’ve killed the both of you had you not threatened him, but there was still a sense of guilt as you felt your humanity fading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two of you walked through the front door, finally relaxing a bit. The others were quick to try and greet you, but you remained silent as you looked at all of the faces around you. Smiles slowly fading as they saw the distressed look on both yours and Namjoon’s faces.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, eyes bouncing between you and the man stood beside you.

“We ran into another survivor.” Namjoon stated.

You weren’t even sure how it happened, but everyone ended up in the living room. Eyes glued to Namjoon as he told them what happened. You, however, weren’t listening. Instead, you sat on the floor with your legs crossed as you began looking through the bags and loaded each of the guns. It wasn’t until a voice called your name that you looked up. Everyone was staring at you in disbelief.

“Y/N?” Taehyung called out softly. “Are you alright?” He asked, his tone laced with concern.

“I’m fine.“ A lie. “I promise.“ Another lie. Without another word, you returned your attention to the weapons laid in front of you.

“We don’t have much time. I don’t know if that guy was being honest or not, but I don’t want to wait around to find out. Y/N will teach us how to use the guns and we’ll prepare to move.” Namjoon announced.

That’s two lives you’ve saved. Two lives within the span of two days. You weren’t sure what was happening to you, but it seemed as if by the snap of a finger, something changed. You no longer felt guilty. You no longer felt afraid.

Looking at the men around you, the ones you were so grateful for, you felt nothing except determination. Not a single person or thing would come between you and your friends. Each and every single one of you would make it through, together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previous

#bts #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts fic #bts x reader #bts au #bts horror fic #bts horror au #bts au fanfic #bts zombie fic #bts zombie au #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #jhope x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #namjoon au #seokjin au #yoongi au #jhope au #Jimin au #taehyung au #jungkook au

[kmgkmg]

THE ONE - JUNG JAEHYUN

word count: 1.5k...

pairing: jaehyun x gn!reader

synopsis: you arrive at the crowded party at different times, eventually meeting which makes you both feel relieved.

genre/s: fluff, college!au, non-idol!au, fratboy!jaehyun, bf!jaehyun

warnings: drug (weed) mention, alcohol mention (beer pong mentioned so idk if it counts but just in case)

rating: pg-13

a/n: hiiiiiiii, my first fic omg how exciting!! i’ve done little bullet points on old blogs but never something this structured? i blame it on reading so many fics during fall break. i tried to write jae pretty similar to what i think his personality is but if y’all think it’s inaccurate lmk, constructive criticism is always welcomed! i listened to vanjess while writing this so inspired by the one by vanjess!

Your eyes desperately shifted from one side of the room to the other, unaware of Jaehyun’s presence behind you. His walking quickly fastens as he wants to be with you even sooner seeing your uneasiness. Even with his quickened pace, you were still towards the front of this huge frat house while he was towards the back. Why did this house have to be so damn crowded? Yangyang said this was only supposed to be a chill kickback with friends from campus and work, but Jaehyun could swear there were at least 80 people in the house. He didn’t even want to think about how many more people were outside, conscious and unconscious. Still, he tries to maintain his cool and squeeze past people as fast as he can, even avoiding greetings from friends he hadn’t seen in a long time.

He always seemed to sense when something was wrong. Although you were visibly anxious regarding the unfamiliar environment of this party, he could always tell when you needed to be tended to. Hell, he was the first person in your life to notice one of your most hidden nervous tendencies. 

Back in the course you first met for the first time, you were singled out by a classmate during a class discussion and it happened to be the day you didn’t do the reading. You thought cracking your knuckles had been a pretty ordinary thing to do, but once Jaehyun had noticed you cracking your third knuckle his face wore a worried expression, clearly aware of you being uncomfortable with the spotlight being on you. In what you viewed as an act of idiocy rather than being heroic, Jung Jaehyun proudly raised his hand and decided to sacrifice himself for you. He made up a quick lie about how you had been filling him in on the readings since he was hungover, he elaborated that you had made a great point about the debate that helped him comprehend everything. All your professor could do was ask for confirmation to what Jaehyun was saying and all you could do is mindlessly nod your head, shocked that the frat boy who constantly comes in hungover actually did his readings. The course wasn’t a requirement for Jaehyun’s major of architecture, which was even more of a surprise. Since when were frat boys versed on Gramsci’s theories?

After Jaehyun saved your ass you profusely thanked him after class, asking if there was any way that you could show your gratitude towards him. He chuckled, since your demeanor with him was much more uptight than he had seen you interact with your friends outside of class. “If you’re really thankful towards me, how about a date?” He asks you, patiently waiting for your response. 

You had really painted him in the wrong light by minimizing him to his frat status only and he did help you. You usually would say no to a man asking you out so suddenly, especially since today was your first time talking, but Jaehyun was different. You had a weak spot for pretty men and Jaehyun was the epitome of such. You snap out of your thoughts, suddenly aware again of the man standing in front of you. “Sure, can I have your Instagram so we can decide the details later? I have another class across campus to get to soon.”

You hadn’t expected to like Jaehyun and your guys’ first date as much as you did, but he was full of surprises. He had invited you to his favorite record shop/cafe and selected a vinyl by The Internet to play while you decided what you wanted to order. You got to know each other and realized the absurd amount of things you had in common, from music taste and favorite TV shows to overall philosophies towards life. Gradually you went on more and more dates and now have been a couple for almost three years. Although some of Jaehyun’s frat friends were notorious for being heartbreakers and fuckboys around campus, Jaehyun himself had been labeled the mysterious prince at your university so it was big news when he officially announced you on his Instagram as his significant other.

Returning to the party at hand, Jaehyun was originally supposed to pick you up after his work shift, but you got busy with studying for midterms and insisted that he left with his friends and you would meet him at the party. The problem with you guys meeting like originally planned is that he left with Yuta and Jaemin, a duo that basically asks for trouble. Jaehyun likes his friends, he really does, but he should’ve known that they would pregame and have a couple rips from their bong before heading over to the house. Jaemin becomes mush which is never an issue but Yuta’s energy level turns tenfold his regular tension and he thinks that he’s invincible. After Jaehyun pulled out his phone to text you an update that he was in the backyard playing beer pong with some friends, his mistake was not realizing the still very stoned Yuta was next to him and determined to win this round. Yuta grabbed his phone with unremarkable speed and chucked it over Jaehyun’s head, conveniently landing in the pool. 

“Dude, what the actual fuck?” Jaehyun, clearly exasperated, frowns at his friend.

“We’re supposed to win this game, for the pride of our fraaaaaaaat! This isn’t the time to text your precious Y/N,” Yuta slurs, “you neverrrrr hang out with us anymore bro.”

Jaehyun sighs, “Well, can you see why I don’t when you act like this? You know that Y/N is coming by themselves, you know that I��m protective over them. There’s so many peopl- Nevermind, I’m not going to try to reason with you when you’re stoned.” 

Fast forward to now, Jaehyun is continuously calling your name, while you are still busy scanning the room to find someone you know. It didn’t help that the music was blasting so loud the whole house was practically shaking with the bass of the song. You had tried to text Jae with the texts being left on delivered and when you tried to call Jae numerous times, his phone instantly went to voicemail. Of course you were oblivious of Yuta’s destroying of Jae’s phone and your mind automatically went to the worst that he was mad at you for not going with him. While there was a little part in the back of your mind that knew he would never get mad at you over something as trivial as that, especially since you were studying, your mind always resorted to the most unreasonable scenarios. You still hadn’t removed your jacket, giving up hope that this house had anything even slightly resembling a coat room. If anything, they probably made Mark’s room the ‘coat room’, you smiled slightly envisioning Mark being stressed walking into his room and seeing coats piled in his room. Finally, you thought to yourself, my nerves are calming down. Who would’ve thought that thinking about your boyfriend’s younger friend being irritated would make you happy?

“Y/NNNNN!” You hear a familiar voice shout from behind you. You’re pretty certain that if you moved one second faster you would’ve given yourself whiplash at the speed in which you turned your neck to see the source of the sound. As expected, you could see Jaehyun about 10 feet away from you, waving his hand at you to see him. You both break into the biggest grins upon seeing that you finally found each other and wouldn’t have to stay at this house that became way too overpopulated anymore. “Jae!” You continue to grin while making your way to close the distance even sooner. As soon as you’re finally face-to-face with each other, he envelopes you with the biggest hug he could possibly make, “Babe, I’m so sorry Yuta literally drowned my phone and I couldn’t reach you.” You slightly break from his grip to look up at him in a mixture of confusion and amusement that Yuta did that, but soon went back to hugging him just as tight before saying, “It’s okay, I only showed up about 20 minutes ago, but could we maybe leave? It’s way more crowded than Yangyang’s usual parties.” Jaehyun quickly nods in agreement, still smiling that he was able to see you after a long day of work and a chaotic night with Yuta and the rest of his frat. 

“Record shop cafe and some late night snacks?” You propose and rub his back gently as you go from hugging to holding hands and navigating yourselves to leave the party. 

Jaehyun looks at you with love and complete adoration, finding himself at a loss of words for how much he loves you and how lucky he was to be the one to raise his hand and cover for you in class that one day. Probably forever unknowing to you, he had fallen for you on the first day of orientation of your first-year, and you are his first love. In his eyes, you are forever only the one who he sees himself spending the rest of his life with.

Without saying any of this, he simply nods again and lightly squeezes your hand in agreement to the new plans for the night. 

#kpopccc #jaehyun #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun x reader #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct #nct 127 x reader #nct fanfic #nct fluff #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #college!au jaehyun #college jaehyun #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun drabble #the one - jung jaehyun #did you see the little forever only ref i made? hehe... okie i'm going to do my readings for class now #kmgkmgoriginal

[beansnpeets]

Trigger warning for mentions of suicide (not me, Jon's been very depressed and I'm worried)

So the tenancy branch called Jon and told him apparently he's going about this eviction of his tenant wrong. Idk if I've mentioned that he's evicting her. She keeps breaking windows and the back door has been kicked in twice and replaced and the current back door makes it look like a fucking trap house. Someone burned the garage to the ground. One of the windows has a bullet hole in it that came from inside the house. Her ex husband shot someone inside the house (separate incident to the bullet hole in the window). You get the jist.

Anyway, so he had to hand the phone off to me because he was so wound up that he couldn't understand. All he has to do is give her a warning letter and the lady suggested we give a deadline of a week and a half. And then if she hasn't made the repairs by the end of the deadline she gets served with another eviction notice and has to be out by the end of December. But now he's all worried that she's gonna trash the place so bad that he can't rent it out again.

My guy. What did you think low income tenants were going to be like?? Like you very much signed up for this.

So then he immediately goes into "everyone thinks I'm a terrible person now" and "I'm the bad guy" because his self-esteem is so shite and yeah everyone fucking hates landlords and tenancy is there to protect tenants, not landlords.

I returned his energy because he was just yelling and not listening to me and I told him to shut the fuck up and listen and sit down for a second. He takes this as me not allowing him to have his feelings, which is not what I'm trying to do and I don't think that's what I'm doing, correct me if I'm wrong, please.

Like I was just trying to bring him back to earth and get him to listen to how simple this whole thing is and that we will deal with things as they happen because we have no control over a lot of this shit now so we are just going to have to get through it. We have the tools to do this, it's not going to be the end of the fucking world. We got this. But NO. Then he gets in his truck and leaves, says he's going for a drive. But now I have to sit here and be all worried that he's not coming home. I have no idea if he's gonna go off and kill himself. I feel like I can't leave him alone because he's been so depressed for so long.

He refuses to help himself. I don't think his parents ever taught him how to, they just fixed everything for him all the time instead of letting him figure shit out. So I'm the one that has to find him a private psychiatrist and make an appointment and I'm the one that has to call his family Dr. to make appointments when he's feeling shitty and won't stop complaining about it, but also won't do anything to try to fix it.

I just want a quiet fucking life. I don't want all this drama all the time. Everything is drama with this guy. Everything is the end of the fucking world all the time. I'm over it. I'm done. I'm scared of what he might do to himself when I leave, but I'm so fucking miserable being with him at this point.

And I think he knows I'm leaving. He's been so weird lately. Trying to be clingy and touchy, even tho I don't want it, and he's been very generous paying for a lot of things lately. Which just makes me feel more guilty, but then shit like this blows up and I am reminded again and again of why I'm leaving. But I'm starting to wonder if I need to just bite the bullet and kick him out of our house and end things now. I can't keep doing this. I'm sick and tired of dealing with all of this all the time.

I don't want to have to constantly do all the hard things for him. I didn't choose this. I did not make the choice to buy rental properties. I was actually very much against this when he started. I didn't want him to, but I didn't want to stomp on his dreams, either. I tried to steer him away, I tried to get him to just move us into the first house he bought, but no. He wanted to be a landlord because he wants to be rich and he listened to too many of those finance bros online and got it into his head that it would be easy. But I'm the one expected to pick things up when it's too hard and he can't. Or he expects his parents and his brother and me to just stop and help him with this shit (for free) when he needs help. I've told him to just pay people to do it, but "Oh I can't afford to." Then you can't afford to be doing this at all bro. Like you literally signed up for this and you cannot expect your elderly parents to help you with all the cleaning and repairing when you buy another house. You can't just expect me to do your administrative work for fucking free and then also be your spouse and therapist and mother on top of it all.

I'm just so frustrated and angry and worried right now and I can't fucking wait until I'm out of this and it's done with. I want to enjoy my life without all this bullshit.

#personal

[snurtle]

idk if you're still doing these but i'd love if you do a character opinion bingo on orihime and/or renji. i saw your bleach red au art a few months ago when i was reading ahead before the anime premiere and i've been Rotating It In My Mind ever since, i just love your take on both characters

First off, this is just such a nice comment! :D So nice, in fact, that I drew a doodle for it. I'm always surprised when other people engage with my silly AUs. Rotate away! Let's play in this space together! I've actually got a couple of short scene comics in the works for RED that will probably be done around January if I'm being honest with myself. (I’m busy, I’m slow, and comics take a long time!)

Originally, I wasn’t going to do the rest of the bingo memes that I still have asks for- (sorry!!!) it’s been a while and it felt like the general Vibe of things had moved on, but you’ve shot a friendly arrow into my ass about it so PERHAPS I will! 

I’m choosing to just do Orihime for this, because I ended up writing an Essay and Renji... I don’t know if I’m coherent enough about Renji to do a bingo on him without breaking down into garbled eldritch signs and scratched pictograms on cave walls. Orihime is the safer choice. Less of a cognito hazard. More legible. So under the cut she goes! I hope this suffices for you anon.

[Edit: 5/6/2023 cut removed by request for record keeping! <3 ]

LADIES AND GENTLESNAILS WE HAVE OUR FIRST BINGO!

I’d like to preface this by saying Orihime was not one of my favorite characters the first time I read Bleach. What can I say? We are all a series of nesting dolls, and the things we relate to change as we add layers to our hearts. With age, experience, and another read, she is ABSOLUTELY one of my favorite characters in anything period. I have a lot of feelings about her, and a lot of them are “oh god why did you get married so young” and “while I understand where this narrative train is heading I want to get off!!!” So like any good AU fantasizer... complicated! :D 

So let’s just take the bullets in order, shall we?

they are soooooo cool looking:

Orihime (circa Soul Society Arc to a vague point somewhere in the Arrancar Arc) has a very unique facial structure! She’s got a large forehead and downturned eyes that make her seem a little mournful even when she’s smiling brightly. Honestly, it’s a VERY neat bit of character storytelling through design, and while I could never beef with an artist for style creep, I’m sad that her unique features seemed to even out and become more standardized as the manga grew loooooooonger and Kubo aged everyone up.

Beyond that, my girl is ADORABLE and I like her slightly off kilter fashion choices; they really speak to someone who both

- had few/strange/ill-equipped adult influences in her life to guide her early clothing choices

- has to tailor her own clothes to fit a body out of place.

It’s just.. I could just go on forever about this! Orihime’s design isn’t complicated, but it’s informative, and that’s not something I can take for granted in a visual medium. The choices Kubo made in those areas of her design give us a window into her personality.. Which is to say, a lonely, grieving teenager who’s had to teach herself to Person while hanging onto the razor wire of societal expectation and threat. (not unlike our other protagonists, no? Ha. Our poor Karakura kids.) You can tell something is a little off about her. Her hair is wrong, her face is wrong, her clothes are...wrong. Ish, if not skillfully amended. Like she’s not doing great at camouflaging, but she’s existing in the shadow of the benefit of the doubt and that will just have to do before her star really starts to shine.

wasted potential:

“I reject your version of reality and substitute my own!” -Orihime at some point, probably. 

That’s insane. That’s mindbreakingly, hand-twirlingly eye poppingly FUN. In a world full of near misses, sword skill expositions, and by-the-skin-of-your-teeth victories and losses, ONE imaginative girl can just go. “Uh. Y’know, I don’t like this very much. Nope. Nope nope nope.” And the world reorganizes itself to fit the shape of that NOPE. Her ability to reject the consequences of actions and events she wasn’t even there to witness is just.. Game breaking. But ultimately, those powers are the expression of a personality, and the personality belongs to a person who... really doesn’t care much about power at all- at least, not for its own sake. Orihime is a healer, a time bender, a bastion, a judge who can interact with the binary of the universe at large-- aaand that’s never really expanded on.

Everyone who sees her Do Her Thing universally goes “what in the bugfuck is this” because it Just Does Not Compute. It’s not supposed to be possible! And conveniently, no one ever has to dig into that because Orihime does less on-screen exploration of her abilities and more just... Yaknow. Standard heal-y forcefield-y stuff. Occasionally, resurrect-y stuff. Which is fine I guess because it serves the story’s focus, but for a person who is name twinsies with [VEGA]:

> Vega has been extensively studied by astronomers, leading it to be termed "arguably the next most important star in the sky after the Sun"

HMMMMMMM. The sun, you say? The sun, which serves an important symbolic role in Bleach, The Sun, and The Moon, and -The next most important STAR in the sky- HUH?? HUH???? YOU’RE TELLING ME THESE CELESTIAL SYMBOLS CAN TRIO? IN THIS ECONOMY?

and the mythological figure of “the daughter of the king of heaven”

Orihime (織姫, "Weaving Princess"), daughter of the Tentei (天帝, "Sky King", or the universe itself) [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanabata] 

🤔🤔🤔🤔

 I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS MERITS. YOU KNOW. SOME EXPLORATION. BECAUSE THAT’S NOT NORMAL. THAT KIND OF THEMATIC WEIGHT ISN’T NORMAL TO JUST DROP ON A CHARACTER THAT ISN’T GOING TO EXAMINE THE GUN CHEKOV GAVE THEM. AND IT’S JUST A LITANY OF “HUH. SOMETHIN AIN’T RIGHT WITH THAT GIRL.” AND THEN THE SERIES ENDS??? WHAT’S UP WITH THAT

they’re deeper than they seem:

Okay look this is a pet headcanon of mine, but I think Orihime isn’t actually a Fullbringer in the normal sense. Rather, I think she classes closer to Ywhach, Gerard Valkyrie, Ukitake, and Aura as in “bearer of [a] legacy of the Soul King.” As in a significant chunk to full-organ, or some kind of convoluted lineage/heir thing. It’s the only thing I can think of that makes Her THING make sense to me, unless her personality, her attachments, and the influence of Whatever Hollow Nyoomed by her in utero just... lined up perfectly to create a cosmic loophole big enough to string the Milky Way through. Which would also be cool! I love dark horses yanking the rug out from underneath “places where the cool powers are SUPPOSED to come from.” And we see that Nel, the Hollow most closely associated with Orihime, has healing powers via her ... uh. vomit, so it’s not as if there isn’t precedent for a healing-ish factor to come out of Hollow power, but STILL.

(I’m also not touching the whole ‘The Hyogoku and/or Ichigo gave them powers part of canon. I recognize it. I also think it’s intentional obfuscation of where her powers ACTUALLY come from because Bleach isn’t afraid to give characters conflicting sources of information.)

And also, Uh. I feel like this bingo square may have been referring to personality, perhaps, in which case I suppose I could have been talking about Orihime’s rampant trust issues. She feels so intensely the weight of mutual burden that the moments where she’s open about her problems are vanishingly rare, and then covered up by jokes, minimized. Sometimes- sometimes often- she performs cheerfulness like a thank-you card in exchange for that burden of care. (It’s expected. It’s all she can do. Isn’t it?) IIiii COULD talk about guilt, and envy simmering below the surface, or an aversion to conflict that is 75% moral pacifism, 25% fear (sometimes. percentages are as wiggly as hearts.). And all of that being under the hood of someone who looks like she’s daydreaming mid conversation, when she’s actually clocking 95mph on the Advanced Interpersonal Risk Calculus Highway.

 Or I could keep yelling about cool powers, because I think I’ve said this all before?

Unfortunately, Orihime’s proximity to Ichigo’s sun (especially in a romantic context) means that her fine details are sometimes blown out or overlooked in favor of making sure everyone knows that here’s a SEXY FEMALE TITS BIG ONES (urahara), but she’s also classical, she’s a moral center, she’s so powerful and tragic and accepts so much sacrifice so gracefully as is her duty and speaking of duty she gets married right out of highschool and has a kid almost immediately ayoo--

And yk. Some of those things are endemic to shounen manga, or are just kind of common in portrayals of Women Who Elevate Those Around Them (much like Masaki, or Kanae). It’s not like those things are inherently bad. But I don’t have to like them either. Weird Girls becoming Mature Women(tm) is something that will never interest me and actively repels me on most days because of the rote, tired way I’ve seen it written. I like messy women and disaster people and complicated, unusual lives. You can be happy without even the semblance of Destined Nuclear Family normalcy and frankly, I’m less interested in Punks And Weirdos becoming well-adjusted and accepted than I am in Punks and Weirdos clawing out a space for themselves and everyone being very uncomfortable but unable to coerce them otherwise. (This is a power fantasy.)

So while I’m (shrugs) on Orihime’s fairytale ending in canon, it’s not my bag, it gives me the heeby jeebies, and I don’t really want to work within the framework of that ending for my fan stuff!

I like them enough to project my own issues onto them:

Ah, to fear and envy those who can excel in the system designed around you all as if it’s as natural to them as breathing. Ahhh, to feel like the one bright blue piece in the milk puzzle. (Also, if anyone was going to get some of that good ol’ fashioned MORAL SCRUPULOSITY PANIC, it’s going to be Orihime. It has to be her.)

they got done DIRTY by fans:

Must I recite the old magic once again? The ancient curses? The shipping wars of yore? Those ancient battlegrounds of “girl-ed power” and “to be feminine is to err?” Nay, I wish it not upon anyone. The only dirt upon Orihime’s name was that of conflict between humans, for how could anyone say that another person’s work made in joy was wrong? I refuse to deride the work of my fellow fans... u_u ✨ ✨

(Which is to say in normal talk, what I hate most about Orihime Fan Zones isn’t any of the art or fic or headcanons people have of her! How could I possibly hate that? It’s just how much damn controversy she stirred up by existing in perceived conflict to Rukia. Waugh!)

i’m mentally ill about them:

And I’m not even done yet!! If you’re still reading this, brava!

they work better as part of a dynamic:

This is a funny one. Orihime is actually one of a few characters that I think would stand perfectly well on her own- she’s not a bit character, she doesn’t really rely on any gimmicks for her place in the story- her personality is well-faceted and we’ve seen plenty of her internal workings. But the thing is, Orihime’s weirdness is more vibrant when she has someone next to her who has a more rigid sense of propriety. The same is true in the opposite scenario, in which, instead of a straight man to her comedy routine, she has a co conspirator to hype up her shenanigans.

they’ve never done anything wrong in their life <33:

This is derogatory.

I want to see Orihime fuck up, BAD. The bad things around her happen TO her, pretty much universally. Even her social flaws are both relatable and normal and don’t really cause any conflict that isn’t internal and localized to herself. If someone rallies her or rags ON her in a way she can’t relate to, she flinches or stonewalls. She’s harmless. I would like to see her bite. Or . Step on a bug. Or snap at someone. I’d like to see that fear response cause something to break, irreparably. SOMETHING. PLEASE!!! PLEASE.... But no one really blames her for anything, even avoidance. No one really beefs with her on anything besides propriety, that I remember. Her fighting is a silent resistance. Unfortunately I think this response puts me on a psychic wavelength with Ulquiorra, and now I’m going to go wander the desert about this while I try to recover. (Wait, was that slap she gave him the only time we see her snap?)

Which is mostly just to say, she’s a perfectly nice normal girl, and she’s lovely, but anything I write with her is probably going to explore the consequences of severe avoidance and silence, rather than the virtues of them. Because in a story about ghosts and supernatural powers, I don’t really need my gals to be blameless, and I like to think about how people deal with guilt when it’s actually warranted, rather than self inflicted. Ideally, I’d also like it to be more severe than a slap, but you know.

And that’s a bingo!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for coming to my mental illness ted talk about my 1# ANGEL ORIHIME INOUE, MS. STAR ABOVE THE WELL OF TRUTH, BEST GIRL 10,000 HOURS PLAYED!

Please remember that I treat all my favorite characters like chew toys, I enjoy shredding them, and don’t forget to grab your belongings on the way out! Thank you again for the nice comment and bout of motivation anon~

#The final word count on this is close to 2000 #EEP... #character opinion bingo #bleach #long post #orihime inoue #Renji is just going to have to get his own post if I do one for him at all #im so sorry but also i'm not and also i'm SO flattered if you read this whole damn thing #woo! #bleach red au #im tagging it under the au because of reasons (i will not elaborate)

[shineoko]

Heyyyy. As a request can I ask that you do a small enemies to lovers bullet point au with Jaehyun or Yuta if it’s ok and your not busy.

Hi !!!!!!!!!!!

Idk if I did this right but I had too because I need to write an e2l with Jaehyun and I have way too many assignments on my hands plus I feel the need to experiment with writing styles + post ;)

Yuta will be linked here as a kinda part 2 whenever I write it

also!!! This is a kinda British au where my lazy ass can’t figure out the American or Korean system and ofc there’s a lot of swearing and ofc I have to use British slang (Dw u can just Google that) anyways below is a brief summary of the British school system I’m following here

primary school | ages 4 to 11

secondary school + sixth form | ages 11 to 18

university | ages 18 to 21+ DISCLAIMER !!! This is not a part of start up

not this taking me 3 whole ass week to write

Sooo

You met Jaehyun when you were a child

not even a child, A TODDLER

Luckily your parents only ever interacted with themselves and didn’t force you two together as you both would blow raspberry’s at eachother and keep arguing like

“Teddy’s better” “no frosty is better!” “No teddy’s better” “no frosty is better”

aka. The first and last time your parents even dared to put you in the same room

ok time-skip to secondary school (yes we using the British system here) y’all were 11 and kept on getting detained for fighting in the common rooms (cafeteria)

some of your friends and fellow schoolmates even made bets on wether you two would fight over a certain thing or two

worst part was that you were literally in the same classes 6/5 (you see my joke there 😏)

In English, y’all would be fighting over wether the word was spelt wrong and had to be shut up by the teacher giving you a detention

then at lunch you would walk up to your friends and be like “That ugly assless mf got me a detention again”

and he walks up to his friends like “that pathetic petty bitch got me a detention for the 400th time this fucking year”

aside from the secondary school shenanigans, y’all would’ve never guessed they you applied for the same university

my g (yes that is my vocabulary) became a part of the resident American frat-wannabes because before you met him, he used to live in America for 4 years which matches the fact you both met at the age of 4.

anyways

apart from the ‘will y/n and Jaehyun sort out this beefy shit’ club and the annoyingness of Jaehyun, life was ok

except that the only thing you were talked to about by another student was the annoyingness of Jaehyun or the beef u two got

one Monday you were just in your way to your dorm room when you heard a cry coming from one of the empty classrooms

Do to your insatiable curiosity, you had a lil peek through the door

you couldn’t believe your eyes

there in the middle of en empty lecture hall was your demise, Jung Jaehyun, sat on the floor crying alone with his knees used as a shield for his reddening face.

you swore Jaehyun was you enemy but you couldn’t just leave him like this

so

you quickly opened the door of the lecture hall and ran straight to Jaehyun gently putting down your bag (bc of the laptop ofc) you kneeled beside him

”Yo Jaehyun what’s wrong” you said in a way that you wanted to state that your still enemies but you’re actually concerned

“y/n…” he said but stopped as his voice started cracking

he sounded frail

as if he was an egg shell that could break in a matter of seconds

and so with the worry clearly evident in your voice you said again (damn why tf dis shit sound like Shakespeare language) “Jaehyun.. what’s wrong”

and he just sat there

then he suddenly mustered in the most whisper-y of whispers “you’re wrong y/n. why the fuck do you have to be so cute all the time.” He snaps :0

then you just sit there like (and the woman was too stunned to speak)

“Bruv, my g, u just called me cute”

and he’s like “yup”

an then you talk for a long time until you realise it’s literally curfew

and your like

”nice talking, its curfew Jaehyun”

and he’s like “can I just go to yours instead, I’ll feel lonely and I mean what I said earlier. you are really a-fucking-dorable”

You think for a sec and realise you don’t have a roommate and your like

“let’s go I guess, but don’t try anything cheesy”

(You can imagine what happened in your dorm 😏)

#nct 127 #fluff #nct #nct au #nct fluff #nct angst #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct fanfic #nct enemies to lovers au #nct imagine #nct imagines #nct jaehyun #nct jeong jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct oneshots #nct to lovers #nct u #nct x reader #jaehyun x you #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun x reader #nct bullet point fluff #Nct university au

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

So sorry if this is a lot. I was looking at all the questions and was like "there's too many to choose from, whyyyyy?!" (Feel free to skip any you don't want to answer)

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

what was the first commercial property (book/movie/tv show/etc) that you realized was actually professional fanfiction?

what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were reading it?

what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

how do you balance writing and life?

what’s the weirdest reason you’ve ever shipped something?

how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing? if so, how do you go about it?

how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

said: overused or underused.

what would be on a moodboard for your current wip(s)?

if you could have another author write your wip for you (bc we all dream of this occasionally), who would it be?

sarcastic narrators: entertaining or overdone?

do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

how has your writing style changed over the years?

do you hear other people’s writing styles when they talk?

do you describe a character’s appearance all right away or in pieces?

Sorry I'm just now getting to this!

I hope you don't mind, I'll put it under a read more:

A writing tip I always follow... oof I've gotten so many aha. I think the one I still remind myself to follow is to trust my subconscious and not be so stuck to a story idea that I avoid a better one just because I don't want to change the course from the original idea. It helps with writers block too!

I wish I could say PJO or even Magic Treehouse, but tbh the first time I found out a fanfiction could be "professionally published" was with 50 shades of grey u.u

I think the last thing I googled was the definition of a word but... I can't recall the word lmfao

The last thing I googled while writing.... I think was pilot flight schedules for Rody!

I don't balance. I can't. I freeball. Sometimes I don't write for weeks, sometimes I'm writing during my 15 min breaks at work and while waiting in the car at my siblings' bus stops. Sometimes I'm staying up till 3am on a work night because I just HAVE to finish a scene/fic, sometimes I go to bed early and wake up super early because the next plot point came to me mid-dream lmfao

bahahah uhhhhh because of online shippers i think. Like, that's why I started jjk and then I ended up... not shipping the couple I went into it for? lmfao Idk if that really counts as weird though. I'm not sure what my weirdest is....

I act out the emotional scenes! I get into their heads and think like them and imagine the conversations and what would make them yell and cry and what could be said to them to further the emotion or stifle it etc. and I've noticed while writing that I'll make the facial expressions lmfao

I do!! sometimes it's unintentional, but sometimes it's very much planned out from the start. Like in These Violent Delights, I had Dabi and Hawks go through the stages of grief in opposition to each other. So Dabi started out with the normal procession of the phases (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) while Hawks experienced them in reverse (Acceptance, Depression, Bargaining, Anger, Denial), which is why the third chapter is longest with both POVs, because they're the most in tandem at that point. They're both in bargaining, they're both kind of in the same vulnerable but wary state. That I planned from the very beginning and I wrote it all out in bullet points. It's probably the most organized fic, and even then, I had to re-vamp the whole last two chapters lmfao

I think I do very much imagine it as a movie which helps with blocking and tone and then the "script" of course. If it's a very emotional scene, it's easier to let the words flow.

Hmmmmmm. It depends on the villain I think. I like the idea of ruthless villains, but I do always like having a backstory. Not necessarily to excuse why they're villains, but just to have a grasp on their character as a whole, how they make decision, if they're more about intellectual manipulation like Ozai or more about power dynamics like Shig in the Enchanted AU or if it's more a general concept like invasion of privacy in the rodydeku one shot. Depending on the type of villain I'm going for, I focus on different aspects, but I like having a base backstory for them.

"said" is just something people shouldn't be afraid of. It's distracting if you use a bunch of different speech tags, and it's distracting if you use "said" 10 times in a row. Sometimes a person does just say something, sometimes you don't need to specify who said because it's obvious, sometimes an adverb to go with "said" makes all the difference.

Right now, the WIP i'm on is part 2 of the rodydeku one where they meet again after a long time so the moodboard I think would have time stamps and edgy sad tumblr posts and hands reaching for each other just shy of touching and something you can't really tell if it's a sunrise or a sunset. One of my best friends makes moodboards, maybe I'll ask her for one klasdjakldf

Ohhhhhh shit ahahaha I genuinely don't know.... I'm so particular about how I want things done for a story that's mine that idk if I could relinquish my idea to an author I like kadsjfa

Hm. I usually like sarcastic characters! It definitely depends on if they're being cynical and sarcastic or just have a penchant for sarcastic humor though. I don't really like smart-alack cynical sarcasm.

I think I do notice my own voice, especially with turns of phrases, but a lot of people tell me I'm good at differentiating the voices of different characters who narrate, so maybe it's not as glaringly obvious as I think?

I'd like to think my sentence structure has gotten more polished, albeit a bit more verbose.... I know my strength is in emotions, so I've leaned into those descriptions a lot more. I have noticed I have a tendency of using runons or just very long sentences that are grammatically correct, they just have a bunch of commas. I didn't do that as much before, but I'm working on breaking it up lmfao. I do read older things and cringe, so at least I'm certain I've improved over the last decade

I actually dont!!!! Like, I talk to my friends all the time, but when I read their stuff, it's very different from their voices, so I can't say I can tell just by how they speak. Same in my writing classes before, their writing styles were very different from the way they talked in class.

I have a tendency... to overlook descriptions at first in fanfiction lmfao. I think that's because I used to be very annoyed seeing the same description word for word in the first page of every fanfiction. So now I sort of describe the person slowly, moreso in moments when one of them is describing or admiring something about the other. Like, I mention about halfway through the fic that Deku has a mohawk, because Deku isn't really gonna be prone to describing himself, but he's fawning over grey eyes which he describes in a variety of ways, as well as the auburn hair and smug smile as he falls more and more for Rody. I think the same goes for Teaching a heart, Sokka and Zuko describe each other in different ways than they'd describe themselves and notice different aspects about each other. Probably something to work on though, since not everything is a fanfic and I don't want the character to be a blob aksjdfka

Thank you for sending these!!!!!

#ask phoenix #phoenix speaks #ask game

[sereneabyyss]

BSD Blind Watch - Season Four

This one was a Fucking Doozy. But @wafflesarecool and @animusmelodiam and I are back at it again with the queer anime authors. Fucking Hate It Here.

First off, as always, Animus numbers:

"what the fuck" count: 9 (half from Dazai!)

"fucking. russians." (and adjacent sayings) count: 13

Obligatory shout outs to all the fucking hallucinations this season.

Onto the nitty gritty.

Cat dad adopting Ranpo hours

Like these two looked at each other and went "son acquired." "Father acquired." at the same time

"I would be more excited about whatever Ranpo's doing than the play at that point."

"He got the lighting crew in on it."

"Yeah. For drama."

Color Symbolism!

Odasaku! Yippie! <3

Deus ex Machina Ranpo

Placebo'ed too close to the sun.

Ok Ok So like we're all fucking aware that the "Organic Solvent" was fucking chloroform. But why the fuck is it called Organic Solvent. Still boggled by this and it's been well over five hours by now. Are people even aware of how many organic solvents there are and how different they smell? Like you could have been referring to a combination of Ethyl Acetate and Hexanes and those smell like paint thinner when mixed. Nothing like Chloroform. Saying "oh you smell like organic solvent!" is like the same as saying "oh this is the color of a fruit!"

^ one of the mutuals despises me after that rant

No more Dazai and other dumb fucks give me an entire anime that is Just Ranpo And Cat Dad please and thanks.

obligatory screenshot of just shouting POE KARL RANPOE KARL KARL KARL POE!!!

Waffle dying again a la russians killing his wifi

Also he multiplied and at one point there were three waffles. Wild times i know

"Clown Core. I hate him already"

DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT FUCK THE POLICE VIVA LA REVOLUTION KILL THE RUSSIANS!!!!

CHUUYA! MORE IMPORTANTLY CHUUYA HAT!!!

"not a gun. just a box of bullets"

"Why is he so queer he turns dramatic"

"look at what their founding member did in episode 2 and ask where the dramatics come from"

"FRANCIS STOP BEING A USELESS SACK OF DEAD WIFE SYNDROME"

hey people, don't bring children into war

AND DON'T BLAME THE CHILDREN IN SAID WAR FOR THE ACTIONS OF THE ADULTS AROUND THEM! LOOKING AT YOU DEAD BROTHER SYNDROME!

I wish Mori a very unpleasant death.

"..."

"..."

"Hold"

"Holding"

"... HEY WHAT THE FUCK" (why the fuck did the random german translate to SIX STAMPS OF HORROR GO THROUGH MY BONES! very rough translation, it's been over a year since i've practiced german and it was like midnight. forgive any mistakes)

Ango only lives in my canonical fan fiction universe because he's the only bitch to not have dumbification used against him. (WHICH THAT IS A WHOLE SEPARATE ISSUE COMING UP IN THIS POST)

Inhales. Exhales.

THE EXPLANATION FOR DAZAI BEING ABLE TO SEND MESSAGES IS DUMB AS FUCK??? LIKE??? YOUR HEART IS MADE UP OF CARDIAC MUSCLE YOU CAN'T CONSCIOUSLY CONTROL IT IN ANY SENSE OTHER THAN SLOWLY IT DOWN AND SPEEDING IT UP! IN NO WAY WOULD THAT BE COMPLEX ENOUGH TO SEND THE MESSAGES HE'S APPARENTLY SENDING! YOU COULD HAVE USED SOMETHING FUCKING ELSE BUT NOOOO HE'S CONTROLLING HIS HEART BEATS? BULL SHIT!!!

I fucking hate the hunting dogs. I don't even CARE that the book apparently dumbified them. I fucking hate them. "We are fighting for the justice of this world!" you committed a fucking CRIME coming into the casino and blowing it up! That is literally an international crime or smth idk i'm not a law student! You can't claim to be on the side of justice and moral righteousness when you break the fucking law in pursuit of justice! That's vigilantism which in your sense of just ISN'T FUCKING RIGHT! FUCK OFF YOU DUMB WHORES!

Also i fucking hate the sheer dumbification plot point. Like ho ho ho actually none of us are smart because we're law enforcement and thus the page affected us and made us lose every critical thinking skill! I fucking hate it. It's so fucking stupid. Why why why why. I want the hunting dogs to have a fucking stroke and it's going to take dozens of fan fiction to make me even tolerate their asses after this. I fucking hate them right now because of that plot point. It's so fucking stupid.

Lucy <333 God I love Lucy.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd karl #bsd ranpo #bsd atsushi

[posts-from-employee-427]

(Important Pinned Post)

(Hey so uh. Hi yes hello. Stanley Admin here. I don't like doing serious posts but some things have been bothering me for a while so.

I wanna start by saying this is all /lh. It's just a stupid taspblog and it's not really that serious, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm just realizing I really need to be more reaffirming on some overstepped boundaries.

I'm just gonna like. Bullet point these cuz idk what I'm doing.

I'm going to try to make a small summary of important events for people who showed up late. Try. I'm not promising anything because writing summaries tends to be very draining for me but I know it's a lot at this point. That being said please don't ask for summaries of large events in my inbox, especially of they're from a while ago. I can't get to all of them and some of them I've already summarized in the past. I've made it clear in the past that while I understand the importance of summaries at this point please don't expect them because it is exaughsting to try and create a comprehensive post of everything important from those events.

Also with asks. Ok how do I word this one. So obviously we handle a lot of sensitive subjects on here and all that. And I love angst! It's a great tool in the writers box. But if you're sending an ask that's... kind of clearly not in character agnst an more just venting, please stop that. I've had several people do this. And some have stopped, but some still do it. I'm sorry. I'm just going through a lot as well and don't know how to also help someone else or even respond to it. especially when it's several people. In character is fine!! In character makes sense and is cool. But when it's like, ok this is out of character, idk how to respond to that. Sorry.

And on characters and lore I love the amount of anon blogs that have popped up! I really do!! But. Ok story time. Once upon a time I was clarifying how anons act in the parable. I clarified that they aren't actually part of the parable, but rather outside of it and capable of interacting or changing things by interacting with Stanley. I tried to be rather insistent on this for some time, but as more people ignored it I kinda just. Gave up. The reason I was trying to insist on this is because I felt like having anons in the parable may like. Disrupt Stanley's actions. Like recently!! When Stanley reset and it effected people who it technically shouldn't have effected. It adds a weird layer of Stanley's actions effecting people who realistically shouldn't be effected by a reset.

Obviously there's exceptions. Like 432 who is obviously in the parable cuz. Yeah. ABPA you could even maybe make a case for, but how the character is handled it really works out. He's part of Stanley's universe though not part of the parable. His own thing interacting with Stanley. Like being stuck in a constant time loop in a void and getting a postcard from your buddy out kareoking saying wish you were here. It works.

Actually let's talk about the mintcident real quick. The mintcident is a great example of bending the rules but still working. It didn't break really any previous lore despite interacting with the parable. It was it's own contained thing that even cleaned itself up with a reset. Everyone was on board and it opened up the gates for me and Naradmin to do literally whatever the hell we wanted with a hard reset, and it's how we even got human narry. It was one of the first major actual plots we did beyond just hijinks. The only thing before that was when Stanley talked, which happened on the same day. It drew back on the carrot association talking about if Stanley was sacrificed to a cult what would happen, and worked itself really well. Mint and Gnarly if you're reading this you handled this greatly and it's why the mintcident is so important to this blog now. I remember they even apologized in case it messed with a prior plan (it didn't lmao).

The point is there can absolutely be exceptions to the rules but. This exceptions aren't often because. It usually doesn't work out. I'm glad when it does! It's always fun to see peoples like and how they interact, but when it gets in the way of the pre set rules I made to not cause any trouble, it gets a little difficult. Yeah.

That's all I can think of right now. This is getting pinned cuz it's kind of important, and as we're entering a new setting I wanna just. Re establish some boundaries. So things run more smoothly and it's less stressful for me. Again I'm not mad I just wanted to bring this up cuz some of this has been really stressing me out and I tried to type this all as delicately as possible. I'm really hoping any of this actually makes sense. Obviously this is all my own stuff and I can't speak for I Naradmin agrees with these boundaries or if they're even reasonable, I may be way out of line asking for this and yeah sorry. Idk how to make these kinds of posts. Not sure what this will look like for people moving forward, I don't have a good answer for solving these problems, but I should probably acknowledge them anyway. Sorry for the long ass post. I'm gonna go drink some lemonade and answer some asks in a bit.)

#not employee 427 #(please read.)

[dyingreader]

Good Omens 2 bits (part 1)

Imma watch this again and actually take notes the second time around, but I just wanted to do some points on things I noticed on first watch:

- I love how the Bentley actually IS sentient (or at least some version of it) and changes it’s personality a bit when Azirapale drives it (is it bc he actually changed the Bentley? How did he manage to actually change the Bentley? HMMMMM??? awfully sus Crowley)

- Another thing about the Bentley, idk if they were actually there in the first season, but you can VERY CLEARLY see the bullet hole stickers that Crowley got the one time he got petrol just so he could get those damn Bond bullet hole stickers. Nice touch.

- Apparently Crowley’s flat is property of Hell??? And that’s why he has to live in his car the whole time now that he’s a traitor??? Do you think Crowley has been only sleeping in his car and spending the rest of his day in the bookshop? One of the lines in Crowley’s confession would seem to support that but idk.

- Onto the bookshop now, absolutely LOVE how Aziraphale learned his bloody lesson the first time about how IF YOU OWN A BOOKSHOP DO NOT HAVE OPEN FLAMES WITHOUT PROPER SAFETY MEASURES!! I was dying when them using electric candles in the circle finally hit home and Gabriel saying “Look there’s plenty more fire extinguishers up here!” absolutely killed me. I was dying of laughter.

- Another thing about that climax... I absolutely fucking LOST IT when Aziraphale did the halo thing. Neil mentions it in the introduction of the script book about how Good Omens was almost made a movie before and... well... take a look for yourself:

the FUCKING DISCUS HALOES MADE IT IN FFS!!! I was dying, as soon as I saw Aziraphale go for the halo I was like, “oh Neil you better FUCKING not have” and then he did, and I had my face in my hands and couldn’t stop cackling at the madness I had found myself in.

- Another thing about this script book, I noticed this just through the trailers but they did cement it in the show:

They did it, they managed to put it in there. I honestly teared up a bit when I heard it in the trailer, cuz it was something that Terry had suggested. Hell, it even ended up becoming Gabriel and Beez’s song (yes I know those of you who shipped them are probably over the moon right now at becoming canon, I’m still in shock that what I considered a joke ship actually happened, but I am honestly happy for you and they are.... admittedly disgustingly cute together)

- Another song related thing, I am SOOOO happy that good old fashioned loverboy finally got the love it deserved. It only took us all making so many animatics with it and fanfic titles with it’s lyrics, but I’m glad to see that the Bentley thought it was fitting.

- It’s also nice to know that before the Fall, Crowley was at least a Dominion or a Throne, but my bet is on being a higher power than that since I don’t think they’d just let ANYONE make the whole galaxy (also LOVED that scene btw,  such a great opening to come back to).

- I think the last things I’m gonna mention are the whole nazi zombies thing (why is it ALWAYS nazi zombies?? It’s so weird to see them here, anyone else immediately think of COD??) and the fact that this instance of Aziraphale’s magic act is at least probably part of the reason why Crowley reacted the way he did in the first season to Aziraphale wanting to do magic for Warlock’s birthday (that and he already knew that his magic wasn’t very good as he says).

But yeah I’ll probably have more thoughts later since I am going to watch it again and take proper notes this time, but even though that ending was heart breaking I still really enjoyed it whole heartedly. I’m pretty sure my smile was plastered onto my face for most of the show. I know not many people will see this, but I hope you enjoyed and I’d love to gear about any little things that you noticed. I am absolutely LIVING for this fandom rn.

#good omens 2 spoilers #omg almost forgot to tag this

[chdarling]

Do you like tlou2 ? :)

Ahhh, I have such conflicted feelings about TLOU2. 😩 There are things I love about it! And there are things I…emphatically do not love lol.

Putting this under the cut because I don’t want to spoil anyone who hasn’t played. This is your warning that major spoilers are ahead!

The things I love:

Game design and mechanics - simply so stinking good. The graphics are incredible, obviously but the damn mechanics are just…fun. Like, yeah, the rope mechanics were cool, but even more I loved how expansive they made the world by the ability to break glass and squeeze through cracks — and all the implications of those choices during gameplay. The first time I was hiding under a bed or something and an enemy yanked me out? Blew my mind (and scared the shit out of me).

Likewise, how frickin realistic the game’s Seattle felt sometimes. There was one point during the game when I was wandering around (near the first Scar attack in the park) and I was like “I’ve been here before. I KNOW I’ve been here before.” And after a little I realized I was wandering around post-apocalyptic Pioneer Square. Bananas.

Accessibility - I’m really interested in this stuff so maybe this seems random, but the accessibility features on TLOU2 are next level. I think they won awards for it too? Just an incredible feature that I hope more games adopt and that Naughty Dog continues to improve.

The new characters. Dina, my beloved. Jesse, love of my life. sweet angel Yara. 🥺 And personally, I liked Abby and thought the relationship between her and Lev was one of the strongest parts of the game.

Getting to see how different communities reacted to the outbreak. Really interesting world-building stuff.

Gays

Things I like significantly less:

The plot — okay, I do give them credit for not taking the easy way out. They could’ve just cranked out a basic story and people would’ve eaten it up, but instead they decided to try something daring, alienating a huge portion of their fan base. Props for that! Narratively, the structure was really interesting! As previously stated I liked the Abby stuff! I didn’t even hate that Joel died. What I didn’t like was what they did to Ellie. It was just…..miserable. I get that that was the point, and they had their whole Vengeance Bad! theme, but like…idk a lot of the time it felt to me that the characters were in service to the theme rather than the other way around. Like, the Vengeance Bad! narrative at times felt so on the nose as to be annoying. Like at one point in a throwaway bit of (optional) dialogue Abby talks to another Wolf about reading the Count of Monte Cristo. That’s not an Easter egg, that’s beating your audience over the head with your theme. We get it!!! Vengeance is bad!!!!

And I’m sorry I just didn’t think a lot Ellie’s choices made sense. I couldn’t understand why we (we being me and Ellie) were doing any of this. Why we would risk Dina, why we would leave Dina. Ellie whose biggest fear was ending up alone, essentially choosing to end up alone.

And yeah okay! I get it, we make bad choices for ourselves, the self-defeating cycle of trauma, revenge, etc but like

Look I love gritty depressing stories, I do. But I need just a touch of hope in them. Even if that hope is an entirely destructive love, like in the first game. Joel’s hope was Ellie. Abby got that hope in Lev. What did Ellie get?

These bullet points are no longer structurally useful but final point

The rat king

#ch answers #tlou2

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Im about to watch RWBY Volume 9 because I need some background noise while I translate a german version of Jesus Christ Superstar and then I remembered that I watched that RWBY DC crossover a few days ago as background noise while I made my lyric videos and then I wanted to make a post about my thoughts but then I just. never did. So I might as well do it now

Before that though, I feel the need to explain myself and my lyric-video-translation process. Basically, what I do is I pick my song that Id like to translate from german to english and then I make what is essentially a normal lyric video, which involves a lot of me listening to the song a bunch of times so I can make sure everything is properly synched up, in this particular case I actually had to listen to the entirety of the song in order to make sure it was actually synched because something went horribly wrong with my editing app and I couldnt figure out how to fix it. And then once Im done with my lyric video I can just kinda turn the audio off and add my english translation without worrying about anything because Ive already synched everything up properly. When I do musical soundtracks like this I usually synch up all the lyrics for all the songs first before getting to the actual translation process, which means theres a long period of time where Im just kinda listening to the same part over and over, except worse and it took me even longer this time because again, something went wrong and I had to listen to the songs from the beginning, otherwise it just inexplicably wouldnt synch up, and because I have a low attention span Im usually watching youtube videos or movies Ive already seen at this point

Now, I was still in the lyric video stage when I watched this movie (I was doing Pilate and Christ if youre curious) so picture this: im sitting in front of my computer, I have this RWBY DC crossover open in some piracy site bc I was looking for A Movie and this one came out recently so it was on the front page, I have my tablet with the lyric video Im about to make in front of me, Im wearing headphones, one of them isnt actually on my ear because I need to be able to hear both the song and the movie at the same time, Im playing the song over and over again as I watch the movie, slowly zoning out entirely the further I get into it because thats just kinda what happens when youre forced to listen to the same first two minutes of a song even when you do have some background noise to break up the monotony a little

The reason Im giving you that long winded explanation of the boring shit I do for fun is because I want to stress to you that I was practically physically incapable of properly paying attention to anything. So you would think that I would also be incapable of finding shit to criticize or complain about, after all, I barely managed to watch the movie

And you would be very wrong. Im gonna be honest I just wrote that long intro to whatever this is in like 20 minutes and Ive already run out of steam so please enjoy this bullet point list of mostly shit I didnt like about this crossover, as someone who doesnt know anything about DC and also didnt pay a lot of attention just in general

The Justice Leagues semblances were so bad you can tell they just kinda took their existing superpowers, barely if at all modified them and went "yep, those are semblences alright" and as a result Superman, Wonderwoman and Green Lantern all basically have the same semblance, which inexplicably consists of multiple unrelated abilities and also Vixen's semblance seems pretty similar to theirs as well

The dialogue was so awkward man, I know some stan is gonna try and defend it by being like "well none of these people know each other ofc theyre gonna be awkward" guess what, i dont care if you can like stuff about this show for no reason I can dislike stuff about this show for no reason

That weird love triangle between Nora, Ren and Cyborg was so weird and unnecessary and idk why it was there

'Weird, unecessary and idk why it was there' is honestly a great way to describe this whole movie, I dont get why they did this Isekai thing with the Justice League I feel like this wouldve been better if they were already just characters in RWBY's world but I guess then neither continuity would be able to really consider it canon which would be bad I guess??? Idk i think this crossover thing was a bad idea tbh and they shouldve made it more of a cross-promotional thing where its like "lookat the RWBYfied versions of these DC characters!!" "oooooo look at the DCified versions of these RWBY characters!!" for one movie each if you know what I mean

Speaking of pointless romance, I saw some people say that they didnt like the weird romantic subplot between Bruce and Weiss but honestly, I didnt even see one there they had less romantic sparks flying between them than Bumbleby and thats saying a lot, not that I was paying too much attention

Ive seen some DC fans say that Bruce's thing about him maybe not wanting to leave Remnant because hes got powers there was really out of character and idk anything about that, I just know that that whole thing was pointless and barely set up and didnt mean anything at all for anyone

Ruby's arc about learning to be a better team leader is something that she shouldve had in like volume 4 max this is too late into the show for the Main Character whos been leading A Team since basically day one to learn how to do it, then again its not like shes gotten any meaningful screentime in the past 9 years so maybe that justifies it

Killgore or Killg%re or whatever was just cringe

When Killgore was explaining his plan and how he was working with someone and then it turned out that he was actually trapped in this VR world by that someone, I thought, oh its probably Salem given that shes yknow, the main villain. I mean, it doesnt really make sense why she would do all this shit but its not like her motivations and actions have ever been consistent right. And then he was like "he" and I went, its fucking Ironwood?? Are you joking?? Like, yeah, I'll give them a smidge of credit here, that does make more sense but I hate how these guys' weird desire to demonize Some Guy gets in the way of even attempting to make The Actual Main Villain even remotely threatening. Someone tell MKEK that sidelining a female character in favor of a male character isnt suddenly less sexist because shes Satan Herself but they wanna villanize the "shitty white guy" instead

The action scenes were decent enough, obviously nowhere near the level of Volume 1-3s fightscenes but Ive definitely seen worse from RWBY at this point

I guess the mystery aspect was fine too I was atleast kinda intrigued

And to end this whole thing on a somewhat positive note, heres some stuff I actually kinda liked:

While the isekai thing honestly doesnt seem like a good idea, it was still kinda fun watching people from a setting more similar to our world interact with Remnant and try to blend in even though they had no idea what was going on

I kinda liked Barry, he was pretty fun

I really liked Jessica, her finding that ring and saying that rhyming incantation actually gave me goosebumps, her VA was really good. I just wish she didnt spend all her screentime with Jaune and also I wish Jaune died already

I liked that they were wearing their Beacon Era outfits for most of it so I didnt have to endure their absolutely horrendous Atlas outfits although I am about to watch Volume 9 and they dont get an outfit change from what Ive seen so. You cant run from your problems forever I guess

Thats about it, but to bring this thing full circle Id like to once again elaborate on my lyric video translation stuff. Right now Im fully done with the lyric videos and all I gotta do is add in the english translations which I can do without needing to listen to the music, which means I can actually listen to the dialogue at the very least even if Im not properly looking at the screen. I was originally gonna do the same thing with Volume 9 as the crossover movie which is to say, blast music while watching and fully zoning out half the time but I figured the actual volume deserves a little more respect than that. I mean, thats still not a lot but RT isnt getting any more than this from me

#rwde

[ilikemcdanno]

Awww @glassmirrormask I loved your tags on this post. I’m gonna talk a little about this too if you don’t mind. I threw up some words.

This show is just a love story between Danny and Steve- im half joking. Now prepare for some rambling ok I apologize in advance.

No but this is very true. I mean Danny is all jokes and complaining. But it comes from a place of REAL worry and concern. And I know that in s10 when Danny tries to ask Steve what he’s gonna do to get away from everything… Steve deflects. Because he’s Steve, and maybe he’s so used to this little dance that him and danny do. Danny is trying to finally have a serious conversation with him for once— and Steve deflects. And I feel danny on being concerned for someone but knowing they’re a grown ass adult, and your worry for them is only words. So they will continue to do what they want. Even if it’s bad for them. Or they will continue to deflect. You can’t have a conversation with someone who doesn’t wanna listen. But even Steve knew that he was at the end of his rope. And others noticed too.

Danny loves very intensely, we see him love and care for many people around him, but Steve? Oh. Him and Steve are the one gif where they keep trying to cover/protect each other with their bodies from a bullet or something. They spend the entire show just loving and protecting each other. Bickering and making everyone around them wonder if they’re married. Of course I push the idea of them being secretly gay for each other… BUT… I am happy that they are super best friends. :) The type who are affectionate. They freely say that they love each other. They’re constantly there for eachother. Danny let’s Steve practically raise his kids with him. They’re so unapologetically themselves. That’s why I love them. And going back to my first point; that’s what it came down to too in the last season. Danny giving up his façade that he’ll just yell at Steve whenever he does something stupid. He’s no longer yelling, he’s concerned. Really worried that he’s hearing Steve pace around at night. And Steve is just saying “I’m fine,” and it’s such a sad thing. The entire season all leads Steve to leaving. Things like Danny getting kidnapped. The fact Steve’s reaction time isn’t as good as it was. He’s not even old but it’s all the years of abuse from life in general that’s got him down. And the fact he never truly had a break. So Steve goes on his trip in the end. Which is another post, lol. But I hope I made a point. Idk.

Also when I tried to find the gif I referenced earlier I found this 😭

Not what I meant but ok

#h50 #mcdanno #user ilikemcdanno talks too much <3

[clood]

Weird Questions for Writers: 1, 4, 15, 16, 24, 35, 39

eek thank you!!

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

if i change the font, i write in times new roman xD i am a science bitch through and through!! i have it set to my default on actual word, but in google docs it's just on arial and i only change it if it starts to bother me. i only care about 25% of the time!

(however i will not write in comic sans ever. no matter who tells me it's good for writer's block or creativity or whatever. i will write in wingdings before i write in comic sans.)

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

feral in a good way? desperate, profound, beholden

feral in a bad way? orbs, member, squelched

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

hmm i tend not to write in books, one reason being that i was always told i would like, go to baby jail if i did so. another being i don't really own that many physical books. i'm not about to deface public library property! if i like something, i will copy it into my ongoing note in my phone titled "lines that i like" so that i can later go back and reread them and be fond and mushy.

i use bookmarks because i think they are so cute and fun. also i like to use random things too because that way if i ever forget them in books from the library, i might give the next reader a silly little treat.

i do read in the bath, but mostly i will put on an episode of something instead. this way, i am reminded to actually exit the tub at some point, because otherwise i will decay in there and never get out xD

i will be friends with everyone, though i slightly question the people who do the millions of sticky tabs in their books to mark moments. idk, it seems sort of wasteful. but also they are enjoying themselves and their book so whatever :)

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

haha. i stole a drawing of a fish i had found at a beach house my bf and his family were staying in one spring break. it was a doodle some random stranger had left behind! not sure where it is now :(

honorable mentions include to/from tags my mom made for christmas with pictures of my dogs, and also a cheese stick. (wrapped)

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

this depends! for arms unfolding and where are you roaming, my two big multichaps, i have done extensive outlines. i say extensive, but really it's just been me rambling about what i want in the chapters. for smaller works it either looks like a few random bullet points or i just start writing right away, lest the ideas leave my head before they're out on paper.

i do really love the frantic, word-vomit stage of planning though! it's so crazy and chaotic for me most of the time and it's funny to go back to it as i'm getting further into the story and be like, "oh, yeah. that's where i was going with this!! such enthusiasm!!"

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

i'm a comma abuser.. idk man i feel like a lot of the time i just slap commas wherever the hell i please and neither god nor google docs grammar checker will get me to take them out.

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

this will definitely come off as super sappy but it's definitely the community of people i've been lucky enough to find myself a part of. all of the incredible friends i've made through fanfiction/fanart are such an inspiration to me, and it's really been such a blessing to be able to hear everyone's takes on everything—the good stuff and the bad. like, whenever someone is down on one of their pieces or super stuck on something, i try to be supportive and hear them out, so it would be unfair to myself to not give myself the same treatment. also, everyone rocks and is so kind that they really motivate me to keep going :)

THIS BECAME SO LONG I'M SO SORRY XD

#ask game