#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail #mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers #so here's the long version #pontifications and creations #only thou art holy #also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault #and it got worse from there #just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition #idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here #but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it #there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too #but that one made me mad #idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent #they're blocked now though so whatever #anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks #since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering #and now i kind of want to give my version #I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that #but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine #unlike the giver of that talk #anyway #tag rant over #...for now #theodicy

[da-proti-toku-grem]

my mom found this super detailed online test that helps you find careers that you'd probably like according to your answers (ofc we know that it's just a test and it doesn't mean you have to study what they give you, but i just can't find anything that i like and i'm running out of time, so we were like, why not yk) so, i took the test and after 30 minutes of answering questions you know what i got? biotechnology. the same career that i chose last year and the one i dropped out of in january.

idk if i want to laugh or cry tbh

#i mean it gives you more than one option but this was the one with more compatibility #and the other ones are also a big no for me so... #god idk what to do with my life #and atp i can't help but start thinking (again): did i drop out bc i didn't like the career or bc my mental health is SO bad #i think it's a combination of the the two bc yeah i probably would've enjoyed the few months i did at least a bit more if i wasn't depresse #but i REALLY didn't like it #tho then again i don't know what changed bc it WAS what i wanted and then i got there and i went NOPE almost immediately #and like i know your opinions can change and that is good that i dropped out if i realized that's not my thing #but i can't help but wonder if it is really not my thing or is my brain just not letting me enjoy the things i like? #bc every option i've been looking at to start next year is like... No #i can't find anything i think i might enjoy at least a little bit #i found this university that i gives you the possibility of doing the classes and exams online and everything #and that would be to study 'translation and interpretation' with english & french (& spanish ofc) #and since i'm already bilingual in english & i've a certificate in french (not bilingual but is smth) i would be able to skip some subjects #which is good i guess and i like languages but it's also like the opposite of what i've been doing my whole life bc i studied science in hs #and then again idk if i'll like it or not #and i know i won't know if i like it or not until i try it out and everyone is like 'well if it's not your thing then you drop out again' #which i mean is true i Can but god i don't want to go through all this again i need at least a bit of certainity or i'm gonna go insane #also i've been searching for so long w/o findinf anything that my parents are already saying #'well if you don't want to study you'll have to look for a job' #and if the thought of studying a carreer is already scary #if i have to look for a job rn (there are not many options here if you don't have a degree)...... #the thought itself makes me sick :/ #i just don't know what to do and i'm so fucking tired i just want to curl up in bed and not do anything for at least 2 months #(am i having another existential crisis after that panic attack 3 days ago or did the existential crisis not stop since january?) #(probably sooner) #(i guess we'll never know........) #venting #maca speaks

[le-velo-pour-dru]

It's so comforting to realize that since the self-imposed rules I put upon myself are completely made up, I can change them to make myself more comfortable. I forget about that all the time X'3

#dru speaks #dru vents #like just now i was scrolling through the videos on idkbecks's page that were tagged as dallon #with the rule in mind that once i get 12 notes i'll stop #but the number was stuck at 9 and i was getting burnt out from doing that and i wanted to move onto something else #so i was like 'oh man i hope those 3 notes roll in soon' and i hit 10 notes before i realized. i could just stop now #no one says i need to keep going until i hit 12 except for me. so if i don't like that i can change it #and another example of that is that when i'm bored i cycle through the same three mobile games #and for one of them when i get to it i do whatever the next game mode in the list of modes there is #except there's one i don't really like to do #but tonight i just realized. i can totally just skip over it #no one's making me play it if i don't want to #y'know i think i'm obsessed with routine and having a certain order of doing things to like. an unusual degree #like. normal brains don't function like this do they #idk

[candeathbereal]

Random Astro observations

-Aquarius suns without an Aquarius Mercury confuse me the most bruh. I think to a certain degree it has something to do with myself having my sun and Mercury in Aries so I don’t quite get people who don’t have their sun and Mercury in the same sign. Honestly it made me wonder about people who have an Aquarius placement even just one. I’m cool with them most times but if they have an Aquarius moon I tend to feel a disconnect emotionally. That will bring me to my next point.

-People who have a different element and modality to your moon sign will feel so disconnected most times. For me it would be anybody who has their moon in a sign like Aquarius or Scorpio. As a Virgo moon I have always found certain moon signs almost impossible to feel a connection like I have with certain signs like Taurus and Sagittarius. Like this is how the order goes for me (from intense and almost instant connection to damn do I even know when you are in the same room as me.) Sagittarius, Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Pisces, Gemini (really a hit or miss bro), Libra (mostly cause I can’t resist a Libra placement), Scorpio, Aries, Cancer, Leo, Aquarius. Now even then I am not entirely sure about this order of the signs. Tbh the only reason I put Scorpio before Aries is because of how many artist I listen to that have a Scorpio moon. Now I have met a good amount of Aries moons that I don’t feel that insane connection not even when their moon has a conjunction with any of my Aries placements. The only Aries moon that I can think of (at least right now) that I have felt an insane connection with is my grandma. Now my grandma is a Virgo sun with a Mercury in Libra, Venus in leo, and her mars is in Scorpio. So I feel like it influences me a bit more than some other placements would. Like I’m sorry leos but you guys do not influence me as much as I thought you guys did. I am pretty sure my grandma having both a Libra placement and a Scorpio placement is the main reason I connect with her so intensely. I love Leo placements but it’s just not the same vibes. ✨Anyways moving on✨

-Cancer suns with a sag moon (in my opinion) are so fucking nice to be around bruh. Are they the most emotional people? No, but that doesn’t make them assholes oddly enough unlike some sag placements I have seen…(sag Mercury I love the energy I really do but some of you either can’t read the room or have decided to close your eyes idk bruh). Sag moons are by far one of my favorite placements ever. I swear some have had the worst fucking childhood and yet don’t become a bitch like I am. Or as passive/people pleasing as the rest of the mutable signs (Virgo, Pisces, and Gemini) and yes I am included in that because I am very bad at confrontation and people interaction as a whole. People say they like me but I can’t understand their reasonings. If you think me listening to you vent makes me a great person I’m going to need you to raise your standards…

-Any negative aspect from the moon to one of your big six is a horrible placement to live with for us emotional babies. I speak as a person who has their moon forming an opposition with my Mercury and Venus while it forms a square aspect with my mars. Like I’m sorry I am not used to people comforting me when I’m sad. Idk how people can do it so easily. It is easier for me to just cry by myself than in front of others. It’s a work in progress for me.

-Honestly im glad I don’t have any negative aspects to Pluto tho…I don’t think I’d be able to handle a negative aspect. I have a couple positive aspects from my sun and ascendant to my Pluto and that shit is odd sometimes. I would love to hear some random shit that has happened to you guys with the negative aspects to Pluto. I feel like you guys have some interesting stories idk tho.

Anyways enough for me. Let me know anything you guys would want for me to talk about next or even just tell me some random shit.

#astrology #astrology observations #astro #astro observations #astro posts #mars-moon #moon aspects #sagittarius #aries #capricorn #scorpio #random #random astro #pluto aspects #Pluto square #mercury conjunct pluto

[phoenixyfriend]

I'm having thoughts about the Jedi and romance and UGH

Listen to me

Listen

(This is a shitpost, please do not reblog to argue with me, it's not for that. This is me, an a-spec individual with a lot of feelings on how society affects the things we view as important, venting in stream of consciousness.)

"Missing out on love" isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative

"But they aren't allowed to get married" what if they don't want to?

"But they aren't allowed to romance" what if they don't want to?

When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all, and the most important bond is that of child and teacher... Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?

And from @jebiknights:

Honestly the only reason it bothers Anakin is bc he already met Padmé when he became a Jedi tbh i bet it wouldn't even bother him as much if he hadn't met her and already had visions of marrying her In general though yeah lol, that's one of the things i kind of miss about legends, is they didn't always deal with the attachment/romance/marriage thing well but you consistently had obi wan exes even before satine where they were like yeah we love each other and always will but we have no need or desire to get married or continue this

When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a bit white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that. They are already Not Teaching their children 'you should want this.'

And when you aren't pressured into wanting something like marriage... why would you be offended that your community says "you can have that Legal And Religious Status, but not with us. We'll still be your friends, but we as a community are not compatible with that legal and religious status barring a handful of specific and necessary exemptions."

Just

Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want

Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! We are biologically wired to, on the average, want sex, as well! That's how a species continues!

But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not... inherent.

Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.

Other species are other things but anyway

Even if we remove marriage, specifically, and go to discuss attachment as being fidelity and exclusivity and devotion to another...

IDK how to talk about this without just going "devoting your life to a single person for companionship, romance, and sex is not only not necessary, but actually kind of mentally draining and a bad way to support yourself, we all need support systems and if you value one person's friendship or companionship more than others, that's not inherently a bad thing, but if you define yourself around each other or start doing shit like Covering Up Major Crimes That Hurt Real Innocent People (or committing said crimes) then. Uh. That's a problem."

#star wars #jedi #pro jedi #amatonormativity #phoenix posts

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

sorry in advance for the vent :)

so i'm aspec, not sure where on the spectrum, but some degree of aroace, and the other day an acquaintance confessed to 'liking' me. my first thought was 'damn i hope so', followed by a 'wait what' bc my dumbass brain doesn't comprehend attraction. anyway, this person already knew i was aspec before this conversation and i had made it very clear that i wasn't interested at all in romance/relationships. the whole encounter made me v uncomfortable (to the degree that i don't really want to talk to them ever again), compounded by the fact that they are 26/27 and i'm 19. i feel like they've just offloaded their problems onto me to make themselves feel better, bc i don't want to deal w any of this, but idk if i'm just overreacting (i really don't get allos sometimes). also this person was one of the first ppl i've come out to outside of close friends and family, so i feel kind of betrayed. anyway, i wanted some opinions of some other ppl, esp aroaces, to check i'm not blowing this out of proportion (don't feel pressured to respond tho)

ps: i know this person bc we volunteer at the same relatively small charity, would it be extreme to ask the volunteer coordinator to put me on different shifts than them? i don't want to affect their relationship w the charity if i tell them why, but i would need to in order to justify it

pps: also, fun fact, this person (cis guy) said their celebrity crush is kristen stewart, so i'm seeing a trend here (i'm afab, but imo pretty visibly queer)

[answered by noah]

Okay first of all, YOU'RE NOT OVERREACTING. That sounds like a perfectly acceptable reaction to what's happened. From what you've said, you've told them you have no interest in romantic relationships, yet they confessed anyway? Rude, not respecting your identity or boundaries at all.

It's very understandable that you don't want to talk to then again (especially since they were an acquaintance and where told you're aspec) if that happened to me (spoiler: it has) I definitely wouldn't want to talk to them again.

If you do feel that way, then asking to be changed to different shifts sounds absolutely fine to me (I mean it's not like you're asking them to get fired or anything).

Also I know age gaps are okay to a certain extent, but that's pushing it a bit in my opinion (especially when one person is only just an adult).

Overall, if it really bothers you? Tell the volunteer coordinator to change your shift, I'm sure they'll be understanding :)

#asks #ask #aromantic #aroace #asexual #aro #ace #aspec #arospec #acespec #aro pride #ace pride #pride

[nothorses]

hi! u can ignore this of course but I’ve just decided i’m trans again (long journey) and I had some questions and idk who to ask!!! again you can totally ignore this if you want!!! like i literally rediscovered i might (probably am) a trans guy last night and i’m sort of freaking out as for now. when i first thought i was trans i didn’t really like myself so this was easier but now i do and it’s sort of a totally different experience than what i was used to.

A big worry is, I like my face. like, I really like it and really care about being pretty and I don’t dislike myself generally just think i’d make more sense as a guy and that I’d be happier like that. i’d like to look a bit more masculine but just enough to look like a really pretty guy instead of a woman. can i still be trans or like should i look into my feelings being about something else ? and is there any chance i could achieve what i want with my face while still taking T (I really want the fat redistribution)? I’m also absolutely terrified about losing my hair and i’d heard it depends on my father? but i took the hair gene from mom? i don’t know.

I’m also really worried about dating? I’m bisexual but I’ll probably just date men (i like masc women but have never really met any that aren’t lesbians). I’m not mourning being able to be with straight men bc i’ve really always avoided them (no shade i just never could stand the thought of dating them which is actually one of the reasons i figured out i was probably not comfortable being a girl). Still I’m worried that queer guys won’t look at me twice?

I’m also going to be in a new, big city in september and should i just start by telling people i’m a guy? since i’m long-haired and don’t plan on changing that and i definitely won’t be on hormones or anything by then, I certainly will not be passing. I can do some voice training but I’m not sure to what degree that will help. I’m thin and have no curves that can be seen through most clothes so i don’t think that when clothed anything will be just outright obvious but i think if i speak to people it will definitely be obvious. should i specify i’m trans or just introduce myself with my very obvious male name and give no more explanation? I’m also autistic and was already terrified of never making friends (i have a good group now and tbh there’s no chance they’re going to be cool about this and i’m already mourning them lmao) and now the fear is worse.

If I had to weigh pros and cons i’d definitely say there are no pros to this thing that i’m thinking of doing, but i can’t imagine any future as a woman, (maybe not really as a man either but if i had to choose). I have trouble imagining myself with a straight man or in a wedding dress at this point or things like that, and there’s just been this disconnect lately. i like myself when i look in the mirror but maybe i’m just excited about being conventionally attractive. Still when I imagine myself it’s a flat-chested person. I’ve also been fighting for my life to not be trans so that might mean something. I’m afraid on wasting another two years on thinking i’m trans when i’m not, but the more i’ve grown comfortable and comfortable with myself the more i realized i couldn’t relate to women. Now that I’ve figured out i’m wondering about how to get through the summer w people that don’t know me and wearing a certain kind of clothes. I’m so worried.

Sorry for the vent or whatever this is. you can ignore and i do realize i sound absolutely crazy i’m just freaking out atm.

First off- congratulations on the gender journey! I know how hard it can be to go through something like this, but coming to understand yourself better is such a wonderful, rewarding, relieving experience, and I'm so glad you're taking steps towards what feels good for you.

And second- it's normal for that to be scary, too. It's normal to feel some fear and hesitation when you start to unravel who you are, and what that might mean. You're not alone!

It sounds like you might be feeling some time pressure around this, and my first piece of advice is that if you are feeling like there's a deadline and you need to rush to a conclusion or action before then, that's a really good sign that you need to take a step back, slow down, and breathe. It's normal to feel some urgency with this sort of thing, but ask yourself where that's coming from. It's one thing to want to "stop wasting time" because you know what you want & you don't want to keep waiting for it, but it's another entirely to feel like you have to make a decision to meet some kind of arbitrary deadline.

If you aren't sure what you want but you feel pressured to make a decision anyway, you should slow down. If that deadline is being imposed by some external force, ask yourself what it might look like (and feel like) to slow down and miss that deadline anyways. I really love the phrase "slow down to speed up": most of the time, trying to rush something causes complications and missteps that make the whole thing take a lot longer than if you'd just slowed down and done it right in the first place! If you're not ready, you're not ready. Let yourself be ready at your own pace.

That aside, I'll try to answer your other questions:

"can i still be trans or like should i look into my feelings being about something else?"

You can do whatever you want forever! There's no benchmark you need to meet in order to be trans, and nobody else can tell you if you're trans or not. Honestly, I recommend setting that whole label aside for a while, if you feel bogged down by this kind of question. Who cares if you "count" as trans or not? What matters is what you want, who you want to be, and what feels good to you. Labels should be used to describe what you already know about yourself, not the other way around.

Lots of trans people want the exact same thing you've expressed here, so you wouldn't be alone! And some cis people want that, too.

"is there any chance i could achieve what i want with my face while still taking T (I really want the fat redistribution)?"

Yes, there's a chance! How T impacts you is super dependent on genetics, so you may end up looking the way you want to... and you might not! I also personally found that what I wanted from T actually changed after I went on it; I ended up loving a lot of the changes that I thought I wouldn't like so much. Ultimately, my decision to go on T was mostly based around the knowledge that I was not happy with my body as it was, I did want a lot of the effects of T, and I decided I would be happier rolling the dice and trading off what I didn't like then for what I might not like later. I also decided that I could go off T at any time if I decided that I didn't want those changes anymore, and that I would be making the decision to be on T each time I took it, rather than once and forever.

"I’m also absolutely terrified about losing my hair and i’d heard it depends on my father? but i took the hair gene from mom?"

Male pattern baldness (MPB) comes through the X chromosome. If you have XY chromosomes (like most people who are AMAB), you inherit one X chromosome from your mother, and one Y chromosome from your father. If you have XX chromosomes (like most people who are AFAB), you get one X chromosome from each parent, so you can inherit MPB from either parent.

MPB is also treatable; if your hair starts to thin an abnormal amount, or if you're just worried about it (or have MPB on both sides of your family) you can ask your doctor about treatment options. There are topical options as well as oral medications, and while I have heard it's much harder to reverse, it's actually fairly easy to prevent.

"I’m worried that queer guys won’t look at me twice"

My boyfriend is a cis queer man... many such cases. Queer guys will absolutely look at you twice. Some will look at you thrice. Many will look at you twice entirely because you are trans, and some of those will be doing so because trans people are hot and they see us as people (and not just sex objects for their own benefit).

Also, I really recommend basing your transition on your personal happiness with your body and self first; if the people around you can't be happy for you, they genuinely are not worth keeping around. People who care about you in a real and healthy way will be happy for your happiness!

I'm so serious about this, anon. My dad changed his whole opinion on trans people when I came out because he a) did not want to lose me, and b) saw that it made me happy. The man was conservative (and maybe still is...?), but he cares about me enough that he reconsidered his whole worldview for me. You deserve that kind of love. Everyone does.

"I’m also going to be in a new, big city in september and should i just start by telling people i’m a guy?"

I like your idea of just telling folks you're a guy with no further explanation! This also really depends on where you're going, if you think you'll be safe in doing this, how long you'll be there, if you'll be starting T/expect to see changes.... etc. If you were, for example, going to Seattle for a few months and wanted to try the "guy" hat on for a bit just to see how it feels, I'd say go for it! If you feel like you'll be reasonably safe and you think this is the way you'll want to continue to be perceived for some time, that would also probably be a solid choice. But it's context-dependent, and I think you might need to feel it out for yourself and ask some folks with more context!

I also want to challenge the "girl/guy" binary I think I'm reading in your ask: you don't have to choose one or the other! Nonbinary people exist, and there is such an incredible range of experiences and genders outside of the male/female binary. So many people relate to so many of them, in so many different ways! Infinite gender experiences! If you feel comfortable as a man, that's awesome; if you feel like you might be something else entirely, or both, or one of them and some other stuff, that's also great! If this is all new to you, please take some time to learn more about nonbinary genders & experiences from nonbinary people. I promise it's more than worth it.

You are not alone, there are so many people who will love you for whoever you are, and good luck!

[beg-for-us]

this is gonna be more of a pretty serious ramble about my sexuality than a hornypost

so, like, I'm asexual. Sexual images don't turn me on. But like, when I was 16 I discovered masturbation and how good it feels, and I quickly found out that I find some kinks pretty exciting. But I notice that I seem to have pretty strong post nut clarity.

Some time later I do some overthinking and realise I like CNC and being submissive and all bc it's thrilling. The same way many people find a good action movie thrilling. But like, I still masturbate about kinky fantasies.

Today, normal me and horny me basically have totally different desires.

Like, when I'm horny I yearn to be dominated and wish I had a partner and think about ordering sex toys, edging, etc. and "training" myself into the perfect toy/pet/whatever. But when the post nut clarity hits I don't want any of that and I realize how irrational it is and how to a certain degree porn has brainwashed me into being into some weird degrading shit.

And I just don't know what to do, tbh.

Like one moment I'm fine, have normal life goals etc. and the next moment I just wanna be someone's little denied pet that gets forged into whatever my owner wants and all thar horny shit.

And then I cum and feel horrible and become really rational and really hate my horny side.

And no, I don't "secretly crave it" whenever I'm not horny. I'm legit kinda terrified of how I don't seem to have full control over such desires and it's also kind of fascinating how I can have desires that just go radically against my rational thinking and common sense.

Idk, just felt like venting and like, asking, maybe you have some advice? Any comment? idk

If it means anything to my credibility here, I'm actually ace/aro myself and know a lot about where you're coming from with that, from personal experience.

I fully agree with the thing about porn. I think most people realize that it's not at all a reflection about what actual sex is like, but I'm not entirely sure to what extent people understand that it's basically all fake.

I've been part of the BDSM community basically since I turned 18, so that's almost 7 years now, and I promise that people in the real world are absolutely nothing like what you see in porn, or even people on the online BDSM community. Honestly, it just sounds to me like no one's ever let you know what the reality of those communities is like, so I'm gonna try my best to explain at least from my experience.

If it helps, the reason that most people will refer to BDSM stuff as a 'scene' is because everyone involved is aware that it's pretty much just acting. Like, people who do pet play are aware they're not actually dogs, it just gets them off to be treated like it. People who like slave/master stuff are aware that the person who's the 'master' in the scene does actually view the other person as an equal once the scene ends. CNC is fully consentual, and when done properly, has a safe word.

When I first started out, it was made very, incredibly clear to me that in any kink space, you're gonna spend a lot of time just talking. Before any scene, you talk about what your boundaries are. You talk about a safe word. You talk about what kind of things you do want to happen, and what kind of things you specifically don't want to happen.

I think maybe what you're lacking is aftercare. I primarily dom, so I can't speak from any sort of personal experience as a sub, but I have spoken to people who sub before who've expressed similar thoughts. Aftercare isn't just bringing bottled water, patching up bruises, and taking a shower. It also involves both parties talking about what just happened, if any boundaries were accidentally crossed, if something happened that they didn't know they liked/didn't know they wouldn't like, etc. Any degradation should be met with an equal amount of praise. Subs and pets get gently brought out of that headspace and back to reality. Aftercare like that is especially important for harder things like CNC, I literally can't imagine being a dom or sub in a CNC scene and not having like a talk afterwards, where you reassure the sub that you value their consent, and you reassure the dom that they didn't cross any lines, etc.

And I hate the 'secretly crave it' type shit too. No, not everyone wants to be kept as a pet 24/7. Not everyone wants to keep a pet 24/7. People who are into CNC aren't going around secretly wishing for something non-consentual.

Idk, my two cents is that some people require more aftercare than others, and you definitely sound like you would benefit from more aftercare. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting weird shit during sex, but it's always good to get that reassurance immediately after as well, yk?

This is a link to a reddit post about self-aftercare. Maybe give some of these ideas a try, a lot of them seem like they'd be pretty helpful.

#ftm nsft #ftm t4t #ftm ns/fw #ftm dom #ftm sub #bd/sm kink #bd/sm community #edging kink #edging and denial #edging nsft #trans nsft #trans ns/fw #mlm thoughts #t4t yearning #transmasc #t4t mlm #mlm yearning #mlm nsft #transmasc nsft #queer nsft #submisive and breedable #tboy nsft

[jupiter-nwn]

what discoveries have you made since the 2021 ghostkin / cloudkin post ? :p

Omg hi! Little warning for a ramble that might sound incoherent and "weird" to people who don't know how to have fun lol /lh (aka: I'm talking about my non-humanness, lol)

Warning! this gets VERY long, VERY specific and personal (not in a vent way, but in a "I'm rambling about myself" kind of way), and, somehow, incredibly scientific. Like, actually talking about a physics phenomenon and chemical reaction. I don't know, but yk how it is lol, I may be cringe but I am free

Well! I am indeed cloudkin and Ghostkin; rather, I've realized that I mostly feel like a cloud-looking spirit of sorts, inhabiting a human body if you will. I know some of my features (antlers, fangs, multiple eyes and dots and markings) but they're slightly shifting since my form isn't stable in itself!

Also, I know I'm fictionkin to some degree... Except I'm... not? See, I'm part of a system. I keep referring to myself as otherkin instead of just being a non-human sysmate because, despite this not being everyone's experience (completely valid), I technically "am" "the one that was here before the others""", rather, I was just here pre syscovery even if I know I've been plural for longer than that; but I felt so at home with kin terms that they felt right to use even when I don't see many systems referring to their individual members as X-kin. However, I did eventually realize that my connection to a certain character (I'd hide who it is... But I post about Dream sans on an almost daily basis and they've been the mental representation of myself for about five years now, like. They're me) but it didn't feel like being fictionkin to me; I AM some sort of introject, a semi-fictive I'd say. Plus Dream is a little ball of golden energy inhabiting a skeleton body... And so am I, a golden-looking spirit inside a body! So I'm ghost/cloudkin, galaxykin (simply because of the shifting nature and because my mind always feels so -vast-, like my body's too small to contain it, and it felt right to think of myself as a galaxy, and it was a good metaphor until it was just... intrinsically tied to who I am) and starkin for similar reasons (glowing mass of continuous chemical reactions... Me relating myself to chemistry doesn't end here, keep reading and you'll notice lol)

Stupidly enough, because this is so specific and no one ever seems to talk about stuff like this, one of the things I've realized about myself is what I'm made of; as in, which chemical-

It's something I've known for a while, before I went by Júpiter I went by Jay because I knew I wanted a name that started with J bc J and Q are the only letters not in the periodic table and I was like "oh, my name starts with J because I'm the missing element"; and then way before I had my gender figured out, the easiest way to explain my feelings was to talk about myself in pokemon types... I'd be a ghost/poison type, something about poison types always made me relate in a way? fitting lol

I think I had a huge species euphoria moment when we did the gold rain experiment (link leads to page explaining how to do the experiment) in my lab class. To put it simply, it is a mix of lead nitrate and potassium iodide that crystalizes, and then forms this snowball kind of effect, it looks like THIS:

I don't know, the mix of something looking so glittery, yet being so toxic (8g of lead nitrate are enough to kill you lol) made me go OMG ME

I want to also add that as a physics student + chemistry enthusiast, me feeling species euphoria from physics/chemistry concepts extends to more; for example I learnt about the De Broglie wave length and I haven't been normal ever since... idk how to properly explain it, so here's the wikipedia definition lol, shorter than what I was gonna write: "Matter waves are a central part of the theory of quantum mechanics, being half of wave–particle duality. At all scales where measurements have been practical, matter exhibits wave-like behavior. For example, a beam of electrons can be diffracted just like a beam of light or a water wave." And I don't know how to explain the inherent non-human euphoria I got being "related" to waves like light; like, yes!! I feel more incorporeal and more wave-like! I'm a ghost! Of course my specific properties aren't really "realistic" but come on, no one's trying to (dis)prove my existence.

I think I've just become very comfy in being non-human since 2021, maybe it's because my partner is also non-human and we've related a lot to each other in that regard; I just do the things that make me happy about it. I hide in bed with my prized possessions, makes me incredibly happy in an animalistic kind of way!

Other people find where they came from, who they were at some point. Personally, I do not have a spiritual past related to my non-humanity, I am a creature inhabiting a human body, so I don't have hearthomes or kin memories... I have weirdly specific attachments to physics concepts (part of the reason I must study physics, I need to understand the world on a deeper, non-human level) and feel euphoria over the weirdest shit lmfao

#otherkin #non human #alterhuman #cloudkin #ghostkin

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi lovely!

I come from grandparents who are illiterate and my uncles, aunts and mom have degrees and went to college but they still have issues with using large vocabulary and understanding things in a larger context. Idk how to explain it. But it’s like they’re only saying what they know and misuse words. I find myself doing that too and didn’t realize it til I was corrected by a college professor in front of the whole class and it was embarrassingggg.

For me it’s worse, because my cousins have this issue too and they’re all in school but my parent had a stroke and I’m always around them and their words are slurred and they use to wrong words and I pick up on that habit because I help take care of them.

One day I want to do public speaking- debate club - stuff like that. I want to be in leadership but i feel held back or not good enough or knowledgeable enough even though I study hard, and speak to different people when I can.

Even though I read and listen to educational stuff on YouTube from different views, I still have the habits my family does.

What should I do be better with my words, mindset, and stuff like that? Thank u so much :)



Hi love! It sounds like you're going through a lot with your family, so sending love <3

To improve your vocabulary, communication, verbal delivery, and public speaking skills, I would suggest:

Read. A lot. Try reading articles/essays from well-written publications (The New Yorker and The Atlantic immediately come to mind), and books & essays from classic and contemporary authors across cultures to diversify your lexicon & expand your worldview.

Listen to TED Talks. Also, programs like Toastmasters are supposed to be great for public speaking.

Practice talking to yourself in the mirror. Give yourself a pep talk or have a self-debate with yourself in the mirror when alone.

Write journal entries that mimic thesis statements. Vent like you're writing an informal essay. Then, take some time away from the page and revise it into a logical string of thoughts/arguments to prove why or why your decision made sense, was the most helpful, etc. for a more minor situation that occurred throughout a random day (let's just say why you made a certain lunch or time you decided to shower – nothing emotionally-charged or heavy on the mind/soul).

Free write to expand on your strongest or most unpopular opinions. You can learn how to justify/craft a compelling argument with no one trying to interject when you speak while always having the final say.

Hope this helps xx

#communication skills #public speaking #argument prompts #writing exercise #journal prompts #ted talks #books and reading #booklover #read more #write more #speech writing #leadership skills #femmefatalevibe #level up journey #successhabits #q/a

[orange-orchard-system]

Have you ever heard of a plural singlet?

For those who haven't, it's someone who is a singlet that is plural. This may mean that they are fragments of one person, their plurality spikes at certain times or they exist as one person with multiple states of self.

As a plural singlet myself, would the identity be something that bridges the disconnect of experience of plurality and singularity without having to fight over how experiences are.. experienced?

I see and know about the overwhelming hatred and/or off-putting feelings about singlets mainly because of past misunderstandings and the fact that most singlets are not plural. Singlets are usually in a place of "No, you're not welcome" to "you're fine, just don't speak over me" and it's starting to feel odd being stuck in the middle or not experiencing one or the other enough for one side to claim me.

We've never heard of this sort of thing before. I'll be honest and say I'm not sure if you're looking for advice, just commentary, or something else, but it's interesting to hear about this sort of thing.

I think empty systems have spoken up about similar experiences of feeling estranged in the past, and median + midcontinuum systems may be able to relate to some other experiences you've mentioned. I don't know if there's a perfect solution to the problems you've brought up – identity is messy, selfhood even more so, and for as much as people generally like to neatly organize things, with all the complexities of the self, it's far from easy to separate the world into "us" and "them." Which is probably a good thing, to some degree at least, but I don't have many thoughts down that path.

I get what you're saying, though. It reminds me of how "straight" and "cishet" are used in queer spaces. You'd think that these words neatly describe those who aren't queer, but there are straight and cishet people who are queer in ways that might take people a few minutes to understand, if they do at all. For those situations, I've always thought that simple phrases like "non-queer" probably work better, and maybe in plural spaces, "non-plural" would work better than "singlet" when trying to describe those who aren't plural, but I don't really see people using the phrase "non-queer," and I doubt the plural community is gonna pick up the phrase "non-plural" any time soon. After all, if the general definition of singlet seems to mean the same thing as non-plural, why make the change? ... That's what most would probably think. Might take a good while for folk here to understand that people have their own reasons for using seemingly contradictory terms to describe themselves.

But, eh, maybe that's also partly because the queer community is more experienced with complex identities. I've always thought of the plural community as the queer community's younger sibling when it comes to things like this. I can talk about aroallo acespecs on an aroallo blog and get people nodding along or chiming in with their own experiences, but plural peeps ain't really so used to something like that in this ballpark. All the infighting, misinformation, and chasing people into the closet ain't help none, either.

Idk. I'm rambling because it's late and I like theoretical + meta discussions maybe too much for my own good. Hope you have a good day. Feel free to send another ask or just reblog this if you want to talk more about this. I ain't good at reaching out first because I forget people exist, but I'm here to talk as long as it doesn't cross into extreme vent territory.

#asks #front soup.txt #long post #don't mind my ''ain'ts” btw. I ain't show it too often but my dialect is all over the place

[destinyc1020]

Hi. Destiny! I came with peace 😊 so pls don't be mad at me. I have a little favor to ask. You know, we often say here "c'mon people, stop taking twitter haters/film bros seriously 'cause they are very very loud and toxic minority of the internet". Well, twitter and tumblr Tom stans are NOT the majority of the fandom either (same with Z stans and TZ shippers). Like at all. And those who actively post are an even smaller slice. And those of them who constantly write nasty things? It's like 1% of that slice🤏. So when you and your anons discuss how many of Tom fans did this or that pls🙏 do not exaggerate and be a little bit more specific. Cuz "many of Tom fans did something" and it's pretty much always like 2 blogs and 10 asks here and 4 same noisy accs on twitter (who call themselves his fans but shit on him every week. we all already know their names). And that's it. Looks not so "many" for me😏. The rest of boycotting TCR tweets and making fun of his look tweets or asks (i agree there were plenty of those) were not really from TOM fans but more like from GP, locals and not so friendly Z stans. As always.

That's fair enough Anon. I agree that it's not ALL of Tom's fans who are bashing his choices, or are behaving a certain way. I really shouldn't generalize.

Okay, I'm going to go with some #REALTALK here...so sorry if I offend anyone or step on toes, but I'm always 100% HONEST here on my blog.

***WARNING: Unpopular Opinion Coming Through***

I just find that with Tom's fandom in particular, it just seems like his fans don't trust him for some reason. 🥴 I feel like a lot of his fans infantilize him to a massive degree in fact. He's a 26 year old MAN...he's not some little boy. But I get the overwhelming feeling sometimes that his fans think they know better than he does about what he wants to do, or what he should do. Idk...it's just weird to me. 🥴 Why not just trust him and his decisions? Even if you didn't particularly like a project of his, maybe HE liked it and wanted to work with a particular director/actor or just simply liked the script?? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm pretty sure the same thing probably goes on in other actor's fandoms as well, but I can only speak to Tom's fandom since I've been part of his fandom heavily for almost 6 years now. I even compare it to the other male fandoms that I've been apart of in the past, and even currently, and to me it just seems like Tom gets way more pressure from his fans/fandom than some other fandoms out here. That's all. While other fandoms seem to just let their faves just "be" and are CHILL about whatever new project or thing they have going on in their life, I find that Tom (and Zendaya's fandom tbh) freak out over the smallest little things. 😔 Take the LV (possibility) for example. So many fans ready to hate on Z possibly switching from Valentino to LV. Like, we don't even know any details yet, but some already are crying, complaining, or getting "anxious". That is just SO much pressure on these two individuals. Can't y'll just let them BE?? 👀 

Sorry for the vent session, but that's just how I personally feel about the fandom. And maybe you're right, maybe it's just a very SELECT small FEW (a minority) who behave this way. Unfortunately, this "minority" is a very vocal one.....

#real talk

[newjenns]

I’m reading thru all ur asks (srry for spam liking) and omfg we were all DELULU!!!! WHY DID I ACT LIKE THAT???? Like some shit drm did literally made me upset!!! for good reason!!!!! And then I just went, “well it’s maybe actually not that bad :))” HUH?!?!? Man if u feel uncomfortable w/ someones actions over and over and over maybe ur not too sensitive, maybe they’re the problem. The way I fought for my LIFE defending him. Fortunately I was never rly outspoken abt it. I would like. Reblog things n stuff but I never made my own posts. Also I’m learning all this shit abt critblr and leaktwt and Jewish George and drms family for the first time and I feel like I’m in the school bathroom and the rly gossipy group of girls came in and started talking like I just wanted to piss but now?? Bitch now I’m inVESTED tell me EVERYTHING. ngl when he face revealed I did think he was kinda. ugly. but I tried to be nice abt it 😭😭 idk he’s not even that bad looking I just Don’t Like him. AND IT SUCKS CAUSE TWO OF MY IRL FRIENDS STILL LIKE HIM 😭😭😭 I asked them to not talk abt him or dteam stuff anymore and they did which was nice but Ik they still like him cause they have merch n stuff like PLEASE TAKE OFF THE ROSE COLORED GLASSES AND PUT UR HANDS IN THE AIR. anyways this ask is crazy fucking long but typing that literally made me remember the asks I sent to a certain dream blog and the asks r still up 😀😀 back on topic, sorry for rambling but I had to get this off my chest and I feel like ur like the gossipy therapist friend. Therapist in that I can vent my deep dark secret of being an ex delulu dream stan but gossipy in that u don’t offer advice we just all scream abt crusty white men together peace and love 🫶🫶 also if u have any fun leak or crit drama pleaseee tell me I know almost nothing and I’m nosy and no longer have a guilt complex abt knowing stuff <3333 sorry for the long ask I hope ur day is lovely

i’m laughing out loud at the part that says i don’t offer advice like Yeah i’m just here to fester and seethe 😭 i think to some degree there was also a culture of one upping each other to see who could be crazier/more delusional/nastier in the name of defending dream which you know made people Act Crazy including me but also in just like that but anyway i think that culture probably got exasperated once the idea of dtblr 2.0 was spoken into existence 🤔 i feel for your relationship w ur dream stan friends i think compartmentalizing is honestly your best answer tbh it’s the only way i can answer asks about him without calling him every nasty thing i can think of and even then 😭😭

#thank you for the ask i enjoyed reading this #syren tag

[thirstdrafts]

I want to write, but honestly I have been stressed. I finally got a job a couple weeks ago at a coffee shop. It's a little demeaning in the fact that I have a 4 year degree and have a job I could get straight out of high school. I know that my degree is useless, but I thought I would at least be able to get a receptionist job.

Well a job's a job. I'm supposed to be full time and asked them to start me at 30 hours just because it would take some time to get me used to being on my feet. They agreed. Well, today I noticed my hours in the next few weeks are part time... They hired one new girl shortly before me and now there is another new one. I also heard them talking about someone else coming back.

I'm not sure if it was an accident or if I did something. I mean, I was hired full time. And I am not perfect yet, but I have to learn two departments and it's only been a few weeks. I've shown interest in learning certain machines but they keep saying not yet... even though the other girl already does it.

Idk. I'll have to ask them about it I guess. Just needed to vent. I have an interview tomorrow but who knows how that will go.

#job search #job hunting

[raw-law]

This ask is just for Light so L , plug your ears and walk outta the room for a second.

Light , I'm struggling with some personal things in my life right now. I just graduated College with my Sociology and Psychology degrees, because I wanna help the world out . I've tried so many different things and i wanna pursue a career in public speaking to help spread awareness about things Im passionate about, butI feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm scared that I won't amount ti anything and my life doesn't have any meaning. I have one friend who supports me and tries to help me , but even that isn't enough.

Something that I wanna partake in somewhat is the Kira movement, but in times past when I did try I received death threats and had someone dox me because they didn't like my veiws about certain things. It's made my anxiety about never being enough intensify ans now I'm question my life.

Idk what to do . I know it's not your fault , but I'm scared that the movment will turn into another major religion full of hate and hurt. I know I can only do so much, but I don't like that feeling. I wanna see the movement thrive , but I'm terrified to do anything.

Im sorry of this is to much, I just needed to vent.

-Tenshi Fukui

Light:

Honestly, my opinion is that you should take a step back, and also a break from what you're doing.

Sometimes, when you give yourself too much personal stress about something, it's good to rest and give yourself some time to think about if you still want to continue with what you're doing, or if you want to stop. Burnout is real, and there's no one way to tackle it, but I find that resting does improve mental health pretty much across the board.

I understand that you have a passion for helping people? That's a good thing, but you should also learn to take care of yourself and do everything in moderation, taking care not to be too passionate about a subject.

That's all I've got for you now. Thanks for asking, and I do appreciate your efforts. Just remember to take a break.

L:

ears closed, mic muted. whatever light said, i probably agree with it. i'm just posting it for him.

#death note #fictive #l lawliet #ask blog #light yagami #dn

[royalberryriku]

// personal, uuuh kind of a vent but idk? Maybe more of just a general ask to the void of whoever happens to read it; How Does Friendship-ing Work? And the whole Is This Normal Or Just A Me Thing with this social thing that could be normal or may be not normal.

I know it's relatively normal for people to just grow apart or for friendships to break away based on one drama or another, but I've noticed recently that it's just... Really common for people I've met to eventually have some issue either someone else and for groups I'm in to break apart really easily, even like regardless of me being there or not I mean. It's happened quite a lot and I wonder if it's just me, "people these days" as in just how friends are in modern society with internet and all the expectations from it, or if it's actually normal?

Does anyone else have experience with that? As in, a reoccurring thing where people in friend groups you are in have some sort of drama between a few people which leads to everyone never talking again or falling out regardless of whether or not you're involved or even knew of said drama?

For example, I had this group of friends I talked to a lot online (we were a part of a larger group) and we ended up becoming really close but eventually people in that group had their own issues with each other and everyone stopped socialising because things got awkward for those who weren't involved. Like, this exact this I've found is weirdly common for me, a lot of friend groups I've been in have had this happen to some degree and idk how to approach it? It probably doesn't help that I'm really bad at social stuff and knowing when I'm oversharing or being too quiet or saying stuff that's socially inappropriate (like saying or asking stuff that is insensitive but you don't realise until after you've said it that it was pushy or too much), or understanding when people want you to shut up or when they want you to step in or anything in between. Basically, I'm just lost on all this and still trying to understand if this is A Normal Social Thing That Happens to Groups of People A Bunch, or if it's a unique issue or... Idk.

Basically! I don't really know how to address this happening yet again or who in said friend group I should even speak to if at all? Like do you just leave it and wait for people to short out their own stuff, or would that be considered you being a bad and neglectful friend?? Would involving yourself make you nosy? Or would it be seen as you being caring? Would backing off being the better option? Would talking to certain people make others thing you're betraying them and picking sides??? I literally can never tell what thing is the Right Social Thing™ to do so I just kinda either sit there and wait, trying not to make anything worse, or ask around and see if at least showing that I genuinely mean well and care helps at all (sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't and makes stuff worse, but so does the former sometimes). Also. I do have this thing where I speak without thinking and make things worse before I get to that part which probably makes this even harder because people probably are already feeling horrible from whatever stuff happened between them and when you know nothing at all, you don't know how tf to act. Or what to say or do or anything at all really.

For now, I'm gonna keep writing my stories, reading my books and doing my best but damn. Is there some sort of?? idk?? A way to avoid this stuff or is it normal or what?? Again, idk.

#personal #vent #or well #vent kinda?? #how do y'all do friendships bc I'm so damn lost on how to read Social Cues or how to act “”“appropriately”“” so maybe all I CAN do is just.. #give people space and say “I'm here for you” and hope that's enough #“Gee I don't know what happened or if someone did something legit really hurtful or mean or if You were the one who did so but good luck?” #or “damn sounds like a lot of misunderstandings I hope you all find a way to patch things up??” #as if any of that is right or ok to say or helpful or like idk #I don't know anything and I can't help so I can only try to not come to any assumptions on anything #like if something Bad Happened or just a friendly mistake or a bit of both or neither Idek and I love everyone in these groups each time #so idk how to approach the idea that someone I love hates someone else I love #never been good at that and I esp struggle because I don't know what to say to said people because usually they don't want you to be Neutral #but what else CAN you do but just not decide based on the fact you have no clue what's going on or who's right or who's telling the truth #You can only really just be compassionate while giving them space as they're hurting #and then not know what to do as people stop talking altogether #which is kinda sad and lonely but what else do ppl do in these situations like how can you be helpful without ending up being pushy or nosey #or just...make people feel like shit without meaning to #god relationships are Hard