#or just...make people feel like shit without meaning to

[genericpuff]

wait wait wait, regarding that Minthe post, you're telling me that Rachel literally wrote the character as having BPD.....and portrayed her as an abusive mean piece of shit??? WOW. fucking WOW. sorry for being so angry, but even if she "retconned" that - it's still so god damn disrespective. as someone who has BPD it hurts so much to see my mental illness villanised :(

ugh I'm so sorry pal. and I don't blame you for being angry about it, like I don't even have BPD and I'M fucking pissed LOL like I can understand why Rachel might have wanted to backtrack from that knowing fully well that Minthe's story wasn't gonna have a happy ending, but writing her with BPD in the first place and then BACKTRACKING from it as soon as she likely got heat for it (or just realized it wasn't a good look) isn't much better because it means now all she's done is written the stigmatized negative effects of BPD into her character without showing the more positive outlooks of healing and managing. Maybe that was doomed to happen considering Minthe is someone who doesn't get a happy ending in the myths, but it begs the question of why she'd write her with BPD to begin with because in hindsight it really does seem like she just wanted to use it as a way to make her "evil".

But like, when you read the actual episode, you can SEE the potential there for character growth, you can SEE that she's aware of her actions - but doesn't understand why she's "like that" which is a VERY common feeling among people with undiagnosed mental illnesses - but it was never meant to be.

Like jfc not only is it HEAVILY IMPLIED, but again, the episode is literally called "Splitting". And we see exactly that with Minthe, who can't seem to rationalize with herself that she messed up.

But... that leads me to another point that I failed to mention in that first ask response: she DIDN'T mess up. Like, yes, she messed up by escalating it to the point of slapping Hades, but it wasn't her fault that she didn't make it to her date with Hades. Whose fault was it?

Continuously throughout the first season we see Thetis being an awful influence who manipulates and gaslights Minthe. They're "friends", but it's clear Thetis does not have Minthe's best interests in mind. In this very scene we see Thetis manipulate Minthe and even attempt to get her so drunk that she won't be able to show up to her date. And then of course when that plan works and Minthe freaks out, Thetis spins it around on Minthe in a very passive-aggressive way.

But of course, the narrative has to find a way to turn this whole thing on Minthe being the bad guy. Hence we get the slap which shifts the focus entirely away from what led up to it back onto Hades who has, in a lot of ways, put her in a situation that she can't control. And of course, being in those kinds of situations does not help with mental health.

Like, sorry, I'm really going off here now, but... the slap happens in Episode 76.

When is it finally addressed again? Episode 103.

It took Rachel nearly THIRTY EPISODES to finally bring it back to Minthe, and in that time the reader has spent SEVERAL EPISODES reading about how sad and lonely Hades is, and about how cute and lovey he is with Persephone. The reader has not had ANY time to reflect on Minthe's circumstances, because it completely pivots away from her to focus on H x P as a sort of distraction from the fact that Minthe is a victim in her own right.

And when it DOES return to Minthe in 103, we get this harrowing reminder that her entire life is dependent on Hades-

And once again, here comes Thetis to the "rescue", reinforcing the negative feedback loop that Minthe is trapped in where she's put in unhealthy situations. She drags her to a bar and the whole time Minthe is not having fun because she's understandably still reeling from what happened.

Now we DO get some character development here, where Minthe realizes exactly what I've just finished explaining, that Thetis isn't her friend, that she'd rather not have Thetis as a friend than continue being talked down to and manipulated.

But then, as we know, because Rachel still needs Minthe to be the "bad guy", the breakup between Hades and Minthe winds up being all about Persephone from a POV that attempts to villainize Minthe for being "jealous" (rather than focusing on how shitty Hades actually is for having an emotional affair with Persephone to begin with) and then Minthe goes right back to hanging out with Thetis anyways for the sake of having the "evil other girl" who wants to "ruin" H x P's relationship.

It's not until Season 3 that we finally see Minthe tell Thetis to fuck off for good, but by then it's too little too late, and Minthe has lost an entire character arc. Rachel tries to go "see! Minthe's life is so much better now that she's taking care of children!" but that's an entirely different solution to a problem Minthe never had. She never got treatment for her BPD. She just got away from H x P which, while is a good thing, isn't actually analyzed as such. It's treated more as a "good thing" for H x P and the readers, because now they don't have to be subjected to Minthe's evil scheming anymore, something something "the evil is defeated". And don't even get me started on this comic's problem with constantly resolving female characters' story arcs through motherhood.

It bums me out so fucking much. Minthe deserved so much better. She's one of the many characters in LO who make it so painfully ironic when they're done dirty, because despite Rachel's attempts to write a "feminist retelling" that focuses on "moving on from trauma", she's inadvertently done more damage to feminism and the stigmas around mental health and trauma through her assassination of grounded and realistic and relatable characters like Minthe and Demeter who are shown ZERO empathy or understanding for their actions (unless it can be done so by making Persephone and Hades into the heroes). It happens so often throughout the comic it almost feels like how the comic markets itself as a "progressive feminist retelling" is some sick joke that I'm just not getting.

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

Why is death feederism ok? It is objectively self harm, as one is doing something that will result in them hurting themselves and eventually dying (as fetishized). I just can’t understand it… I am someone in this space that likes being stuffed and full, and doesn’t mind a little biy of wg… but I just don’t understand why gaining until death is encouraged so much when it’s so extreme and life ruining.

Like if there was a feeder and feedee couple that were into it… what would happen if the feeder had issues and couldn’t help the feedee that is reliant on their feeder? What happens if they break up and the feedee is dependent enough where they need family or something to help?? I mean it’s just… they could literally die if they were so dependent and forced to live on their own.. encouraging people to ruin their lives because it makes their private part excited is encouraging self harm.

This is my opinion and I seriously want to know what you have to say… I brought this up to someone else and their response was to block me and say “I think death feeding women think more critically about the fetish🤔” without response. And just so you know this isn’t fatphobic, i never once said I find fat people gross or anything, I just find the idea of fetishizing self harm gross. It’s fetishizing being disabled and or dead.

TW for death feedism, kink talk, self harm/suicide

so general disclaimer - I am not a death feedist and so I don’t know that I’m a good representative to speak on this topic but I’ll share some brief thoughts.

I think it’s okay to look at extreme fetishes and feel uncomfortable with them, so I’m not going to try and tell you that you can’t feel the way you do. I was very critical of people who practiced this fetish in ways I personally didn’t like and this community helped me realize it’s not my business to do that. There is no moral superiority in kink.

The thing is though - in order to be sex positive and an ally to our fellow feedists (yes, even the ones we disagree with or don’t like how they practice the fetish) we have to respect their bodily autonomy and allow them to make whatever decisions they think is best for them. It’s not our job nor our place to tell folks what they can and can’t do.

I would maybe agree that it’s a slippery slope and in a very extreme case, you could argue that this line of thinking would allow us to excuse a suicide fetish, for example (unsure if that’s a real thing). But there ARE disability fetishes and a fetish isn’t inherently bad as long as there are informed consenting parties and you are practicing RACK.

I don’t know if that line of thinking is even worth arguing because it could only serve to slip the other way up the slope back to overt purity culture. I want to validate your thoughts and questions because its important to critically analyze things and i want to believe you are coming from a place of good faith (and I have it in me to try and discuss this).

Regarding the statement of “death feedists think more critically about the fetish” could be true, as realizing you’re a death feedist DOES require reflection and understanding of yourself and of fatphobia in general. I haven’t had at length discussions with folks about this but the death feedists on my dash that post about fat lib seem to know their shit.

At the end of the day, why death feedists enjoy that aspect of the fetish is not for me to debate with or without them present. It’s not for me to tell them what they can and can’t do with their bodies. That aspect of the fetish isn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to tell others what they should get off to. I also think death feedists are a smaller portion of the community and it’s easy to block the tags they use if you don’t want to see their content. I know a few death feedists and I like them (at least their online persona) and they are probably more equipped to discuss this if they want to. So please feel free to add some comments if you’d like, death feedist friends.

My advice is practice radical acceptance. It feels uncomfortable but I think ultimately it makes you a better person when dealing with things you think are weird or gross or bad.

#chzburger answers #death feedism #death feedist #tw suicide

[kyeomkuppie]

Rooftop.

Pairing: Wonwoo x gn!reader

Genre: I honestly don't know but let's just say crack and a pinch of angst

Warnings: Wonwoo thinks reader is about to commit suicide

Synopsis: You were just trying to get a better look at the sky, but someone misunderstood and tried to save you.

You valued your peace of mind and the best way (in your opinion) to clear your mind was to look at the stars. At the edge of a rooftop.

Yeah, not the smartest idea but who cares!

Technically, anyone was bound to see a random person standing at a rooftop, misunderstand the situation, then call for help. Something you didn't exactly take into account.

And bingo as you had guessed, not only did someone see you, someone was at the same rooftop thinking you were about to jump, and you being at the edge didn't exactly help either.

Out of nowhere, you felt yourself being pulled backwards. Your back was now against the chest of a random stranger, and to make matters worse, on top of him.

"Uh, excuse me?" You were baffled and you didn't really know how to explain without him thinking you were lying "Can you let me go, please?"

No answer.

Oh shit. Is he dead? I don't think I'm that heavy though. You were thinking of the endless possibilities of you being charged for involuntary manslaughter. Great.

You finally feel the person who you thought you murdered move. "Are you okay? Why did you pull me like that? You could've been hurt!" You turned around only to be left awestruck. At least he was handsome.

His eyebrows were furrowed and his breathing was heavy, yeah it isn't the time for flirting. "How could you treat your life like it's something to be toyed with! You can't simply choose to end it because things are getting rough." His tone was stern and angry— but wait.

What? Your mind short-circuited for second. He thought you were doing what!

"What about your loved ones and the people who would blame themselves for your death? At least think about all those variables before treating your life like-"

"Excuse me?! I was just standing like a normal person, looking at the damn sky. I wasn't toying with my life, I was enjoying it!" You were starting to get riled up as well, couldn't he at least wait to hear what you had to say about yourself— and wait, what does he even have to do with it?!

"You shouldn't lie about things like this! If you need help, say it."

There's was no convincing this man. "Listen here stranger, if I needed help I would in fact ask for it. But can't a person watch the fucking sky in peace." You huffed "Why are you even making a big deal out of it? It's not like we know each other."

You pushed his hands which were gripping you away. "At least try to understand, I mean it's not the smartest thing to do, to stand at the edge of a rooftop I mean, but I assure I wasn't trying to do anything you were thinking of."

You had an idea! Not the smartest either but good enough "Want to grab a meal?" If he didn't say yes, you'd bury yourself alive, but you wouldn't have to see him again. If he said yes, you'd resolve that misunderstanding and you could go your separate ways.

He suddenly realized that his body was so tense and his body was still on the ground.

You gulped as he proceeded to get up. His features became more clear. His face had a soft expression but his eyes were sharp, so was his jaw. Yeah, you were right, he was one handsome fellow.

He was weirded out by your spontaneous personality. One moment you were all angry, and the next you were asking him to grab dinner? Yeah, not normal.

"Fine. I'll pretend that I believe you, and we'll go grab dinner. But for the love of god go stargaze anywhere but at the edge. I had the ambulance ready." He scratched his neck.

"Okay Mr. Overdramatic." You laughed, it was a peculiar day, not the peaceful kind you usually preferred, but definitely a day to remember.

"Wonwoo."

"Hm?" You tilted your head in confusion.

"If we're going out for a meal, you might as well know my name." He shrugged.

Yeah, he had split personalities, you were sure of it.

"[name]." You extended your hand "It was nice meeting you here— wait what were you doing up here?!" Your eyes widenened.

"I was stargazing."

"Yeah, no shit. I'll pretend that I believe you." You mimicked him from earlier.

Inspired by that one scene in true beauty.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

#wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x you #svt #seventeen #svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt drabbles #svt fanfic #svt x reader #svt crack #svt angst #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #jeon wonu #jeon wonwoo #wonu #svt wonu #seventeen wonu #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen crack #caratblr #svt carat #wonwoo angst #kpop ff #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #svt: wonwoo

[cboffshore]

what you say about Jay's condition in the skybound fics is actually very true. 90% of the fandom portrays him as falling at the slightest degree of pain, bursting into tears and begging when in canon Jay NEVER cries or begs in all his torture with Nadakhan. All he does at most is complain silently, and continue talking shit about everyone

we actually need more fics of Jay being a little shit that fights dirty, cheats, and deals damage using the meanest ways to defend himself and attack even when he's getting his ass kicked. I just feel like a lot of fics don't really embody the fact that Jay didn't sit back and let them torture him while he cried, but he actually fought back, he actually continued to be stubborn to the point that nothing Nadakhan did worked.

You're so right and you should absolutely say it. I am not the biggest Jay enjoyer (don't get me wrong, I like him, but I'm not winning the Jay Fan contest any day soon), but I particularly enjoy his arc in Skybound and how that persistence plays into it. Seeing it get put to the side in favor of whatever all these crying sessions are trying to do honestly makes me wonder - do people who write this flavor of sadboy Jay actually enjoy/appreciate Skybound to the same degree that inspires so many of us to write about it, or are they just there for the angst openings? Which does Jay such a huge disservice. I'm still in awe whenever Jay gets that Target ball sized ball and chain slammed into his chest and still gets back up. This is the guy everyone's relegating to weep in a corner? He's throwing stray insults at every opening and then some and the popular fanon consensus is, "yeah, he's completely broken, send him to the pit"??

Now, don't get me wrong, the occasional show of vulnerability is great. Key word there is occasional. To be fair, I would likely be just as unsettled as I am by the sobfest trend if Jay just did Bugs Bunny shenanigans the entire time without ever cracking. It's about balance! Show that development off! Have him get tougher over time! A strategically placed breakdown or slip-of-the-tongue beg can work so well, it's just got to be handled carefully. (Tried it with Nya once in my own Skybound fics, and can confirm: watch where and when it happens and you can say a lot about whoever does it. Granted, I have never tried it with Jay, but same principle!) Sure, let him do it - but not for the sake of doing it. What would Jay think after the fact? How would the crew's reactions affect him? (Fun idea: would he weaponize it, like the back pain scene where he's literally grinning the whole time? Would he deliberately turn on the waterworks often enough that if it ever happens for real, nobody tries to take advantage of it?)

I didn't mean to go on for that long, but yeah! It's a frustrating topic, and I really wish I knew where it came from. Thanks for dropping in and letting me ramble!

#Lila speaks #Ninjago Skybound #you told me elsewhere who you are but for the ✨mystique✨ of it I'm going to preserve the anon thing and use my anon tag #but I'll change it if you want me to! #I've gotta start a tag for anon messages

[empresskylo]

hai hai!! i have some cod nsfw headcanons ^_^ hope you don’t mind i just have brainworms that need to be let out

price has a MASSIVE (pun intended) size kink. he loves having your small frame beneath him, just manhandling you everywhere >_<

simon is actually really gentle. he definitely has dacryphilia, but the first time you started crying during the act, he got so scared :’( you had to reassure him you were alright ! now he can be more rough, even downright mean at times .

gaz looks like the most ‘proper’ of the 141, but he’s freaky !!! he’s really into degradation and praise, and he’s a huge ass man idc idc ! but he’d also spend hours with body worship just taking care of u

soap’s favorite position is cowgirl / just you riding him, he loves seeing his dog tags dangle between ur tits, holding your hips and just having you on top :p

aah that’s it sorry for spam </3 love your writing

I NEVER MIND HEADCANONS ARE WE KIDDING?!!!

price having a size kink makes my brain malfunction. like i neeeeeed that man. i’m so sorry but i also feel like he’d have a bit of an age gap kink. he’s not that old—he’s like what? late 30s early 40s??—but he secretly really likes dating someone way younger than him. the fact that irl i’m like oh ew gross at those kind of men! but in fiction, i’m like i want that man down bad and obsessed with the fact that he’s larger and older than you. need him to feel like he’s taking advantage of you: being older, bigger, and in higher power, and he hates how much he gets off on that.

no im obsessed with simon being a gentle lover. the thing is, i love him soft and rough, so combining it is just 😩 him being so sweet and slow and gentle at first, but once you convince him you’re ok with him being rough, my man goes a little crazy. he loves to leave bruises on you. loves to degrade you (“look how easily you spread your legs for me. pathetic.” “beg for it, love”). loves to toss you around like you’re nothing. loves seeing your eyes water when he’s just pounding the shit out of you, the way you struggle to form coherent words. if you don’t have tear stains by the time he’s done, he clearly didn’t do his job right. but that’s not every time.. he’s still gentle and takes his time and whispers sweet praises in your ear in between. like UMMMFFF.

gaz is younger (and acts like it) so ofc he’s freaky. i don’t think he gets too weird with it or too obscure in his kinks, but he definitely likes to try new things. he lovesssss to talk dirty, watching you get flustered beneath him from just his words is his favorite thing. and my guy lovessss eating puss lmao. he definitely texts you randomly “please let me come over and go down on you. i just miss you so much.” like he straight up doesn’t expect anything in return, he just likes to get off by pleasing you and needs to taste you or he’ll lose his marbles.

i feel like entire fandom has all agreed soap likes it when his girl is on top 🤪 and they’re right!!! he is most definitely and without a doubt, a boob guy. so watching them bounce as you ride him sends him into aerospace. he is obsessed with watching you work yourself on top of him. and he can be dominant when he wants, but a lot of the time he likes when you take charge. he goes crazy when you shove his chest back down as he tries to sit up and you just mercilessly ride him until he’s a whimpering mess.

thank you for this, anon. i always love seeing other peoples headcanons <3

#foaming at the mouth #chatting ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ #headcanons #cod headcanons #gaz headcanons #simon riley headcanons #captain price headcanons #soap headcanons

[taizi]

okay just because we were talking about this - how do you think an asl reunion at alabasta would look like?

i hope its ok that i took this as an excuse to write an au no one asked for :')

read on ao3

x

A lot of the problems in Ace’s young life—most of them, if he was being honest—could be attributed to the shitty choices that adults around him made. 

When Bluejam grabbed Luffy by the scruff, the business end of a pistol jammed painfully into the nape of his neck, he was talking a bunch of shit about how Sabo’s dad ripped him off. He was paid to kill Ace and Luffy but he’d been short-changed, and for a man who seemed to think he was entitled to a certain lot in life, it rankled. 

“But that noble brat doesn’t make a bad ransom,” the man said, shaking a weepy Luffy in one meaty hand to shut him up, like Ace’s baby brother was nothing but a piece of dirty laundry. “If his family won’t buy him back, I’m sure someone will.”

Ace’s blood turned to ice in his veins. Whatever time Ace didn’t spend in the jungle he spent in the gutters and outskirts of the city, where every unwanted, street-sharpened child knew the risk a certain kind of stranger brought with them. 

If Sabo ended up with a slaver, Ace would never get his brother back. Pieces of him, maybe. But not the same golden boy he was right now. Not the brave, proud, secretly soft-hearted person Ace loved so much. He’d come back different if he came back at all. 

He had to compartmentalize. He couldn’t act rashly until he had Luffy back. His mind raced frantically, but he made sure it didn’t show on his face. He snatched Luffy up when Bluejam finally let him go and made his own body a wall between his brother and the men who had no compunctions about hurting him to prove a point. 

They were left to spread gasoline throughout the terminal, while the pirates made their way back down to the beach. Not one of them lingered to make sure Ace and Luffy did as they were told, and Ace should have wondered about that. Should have wondered why they were making themselves scarce, why the city gates were barred, what all those fuel canisters are for, but his thoughts were too full of other things.

That was why, the second the coast was clear, he tossed his gasoline drum aside and seized Luffy by the arms. He stooped to look right into his eyes, trying to ignore the way his chest panged at how wide and red they were. 

“I have to go get Sabo,” he said firmly. “You have to stay here.”

“Let me come!” Luffy cried immediately, predictably. “Don’t leave me behind!”

“It’ll be faster if you wait,” Ace snapped, because he didn’t want to say that Luffy was going nowhere near any ship bound for the slave market, because then he would have to explain why. Even without the Fruit that made him a special novelty in the Blues, Luffy would be snatched up by evil hands in a heartbeat. “You’re too little, you’ll just slow me down,” he said instead. 

It wasn’t nice, and when Ace had time later, he would feel bad about the way Luffy’s lip trembled. But for now, it was important that he got his point across. Every second he lingered was another inch ahead Bluejam’s crew got. Ace’s world would literally end if their ship left port without him. 

So he gave Luffy’s shoulders a push that propelled him back a step. Then he pointed in the direction of the treeline. He made his face mean and forbidding. 

“I mean it, Luffy,” he said. “Go wait for me at home.”

Luffy finally tucked his chin in a miserable little nod. Ace gentled despite himself and reached out because there were two people he would always reach out for and one of them was right in front of him.

He flicked the brim of Luffy’s hat up enough that it fell off his head, and then ruffled his hair. A gesture so familiar and well-practiced it was like muscle memory to him now. Luffy didn’t smile, but it kept the tears at bay for a bit longer, and Ace left him with another firm point back at the jungle. 

Ace was a child, doing his best to keep his tiny family together. He had a half-formed plan that he would sneak about Bluejam’s ship and find Sabo wherever he was and they would fight their way out and escape together and reunite with Luffy in time for a midnight dinner. He was a pragmatic youth, and was made wiser by the world than any ten-year-old should have been, but he was still only ten years old. He couldn’t have guessed what was going to happen. 

He would piece it together later—that Bluejam had been commissioned by the kingdom to make sure the Gray Terminal burned down, a noble title he planned to come back to collect once he had auctioned off Outlook’s eldest son to the highest bidder—that Ace had chased after one brother and left the other alone in a place that was about to go up in flames. 

When he climbed aboard the Blood Batako, he didn’t realize it would be the last time he saw Dawn Island for almost half a year. 

He didn’t realize that Luffy would wait for him right there where Ace left him, even as the fire spread into walls of flames much taller than a scrawny seven year old—frightened and crying, little hands bunched in the front of his own shirt as he choked for each breath in the thick, acrid smoke. That Dadan would find him there and haul him away kicking weakly but not screaming, because there wasn’t enough oxygen left in his body to scream. That the asphyxiation, not the fire, is what nearly killed Luffy that night. That he would spend the next week in Foosha Village tended to by their only doctor and wake up with some of his memory intact, but not all. That he would recognize Makino, but wouldn’t know Dadan. 

Ace had no way of knowing, when he and Sabo finally made their way home, well-traveled at the tender young age of freshly eleven, and relieved to see journey’s end for the time being, and looking forward to reuniting with a certain crybaby who had probably been miserable cooped up in Dadan’s country or at Party’s Bar without them, that Luffy will have been gone for months by then. 

“A cruise ship docked further up the island,” Makino says fretfully, “and a little boy who worked in the kitchens came down here to play because he said he didn’t like the way the kingdom smelled. He and Luffy were fast friends. I had no idea Luffy was planning to leave with him until I found the note he left in his room, and by then they were long gone.” 

It’s a good thing Sabo is there, because Ace’s head is just a roar of white noise. Sabo is the one who chokes out, “But—what—did—did you call Gramps? What did he say? Is he going to find him?”

“I don’t have his direct line. I’ve left a dozen messages with his office, but you know how he is,” Makino says, forgetting that they don’t, actually. “He hardly remembers that he has an office. And the number Dadan has for him is no good.”

“Why would Luffy wander off like that?” Sabo says, progressively getting louder. “Why wasn’t someone watching him?”

“He’s just been so restless since the fire,” Makino replies. “There wasn’t anything keeping him here anymore, and it seemed like he just needed one good excuse to leave.”

Sabo looks as gutted by that as Ace probably feels, hurt and confusion racing their way across his face. And Ace finally makes his contribution, in the form of a choked, “What do you mean?” which is when Makino realizes there’s something they still don’t know. 

She sits them both down at a table and holds one of each of their hands in hers, and gently explains that while they were gone, the world as they knew it had changed forever, and the happy little boy who always ran to catch up to them wasn’t running after them anymore. 

———

Ace still forms the Spades, and Sabo still falls in with the Revolutionary Army, and the only reason they don’t sail together the way they promised when they were young is because the ocean is awfully big. They have a lot of square footage to cover, and splitting up is the only way they could even hope to cover it all. 

It doesn’t occur to either of them to give up at any point. As Sabo climbs ranks, as Ace gathers a crew, both their bounties increasing every day, they continue to search faithfully. Either they’ll find him one day, or they’ll simply spend the rest of their lives looking. 

Masked Deuce says, “What about the cruise ship he left on? Did you track it down?” 

“Boarded by pirates that same year,” Ace replies. “According to the official report, it sank in a storm.”

The loaded silence says everything Masked Deuce will not say. Ace doesn’t care what someone who has never met Luffy thinks about his odds of survival at sea. If Deuce knew Luffy, he would understand. Since he doesn’t, Ace’s first mate can believe his captain is delusional all he likes as long as it doesn’t keep him from doing his job. 

Deuce turns out to be a better friend than Ace deserves. One day when Ace leaves his crew to party with some locals and sets off into town to distribute flyers and put his ear to the ground, he hears someone rumble something under their breath about a hopeless cause. He doesn’t even have time to turn around before Deuce has seemingly teleported across the bar and knocked the dissenter out cold. 

“Anyone who shares his opinion is free to get their shit and leave,” he says calmly. 

The only voices that rise up are ones who sound very offended that Deuce would lump them in with that guy, and Ace refuses to look as touched as he feels. 

When he hears word of Red-Hair Shanks in nearby waters, he tracks the man down to a wintery island and leads his crew up a small mountain to meet him. In part, he wants to thank this man who saved his little brother all those years ago. But also…

“I heard about the fire,” Shanks said grimly. “And Makino kept me updated about little Anchor until he disappeared. I’ve got eyes out looking, too, Ace. The world is big, but not so big that we’ll never find him.”

It’s a relief to know that Luffy is so loved, that more than just his brothers care if he’s ever found. But in true Luffy fashion, he explodes onto the scene when he’s good and ready. 

Ace is woken up by Deuce kicking the door of the captain’s quarters off its hinges and shoving a crinkled Wanted poster into Ace’s bleary face so that a toothy, stretching smile is the first thing he sees. 

He accidentally sets half the room on fire, a slip-up the likes of which hasn’t happened since the first week after he ate his Fruit, and there’s a lot of screaming, and someone shoves a baby Den-Den at him so he can call Sabo. From the way his nakama were carrying on, you would think it was their long-lost brother in the paper.

“I was about to call,” Sabo says breathlessly in lieu of a hello after only barely half a ring. “You saw it?”

“I saw,” Ace replies. The newspaper is rattling noisily in his hands but he can’t get them to stop shaking. “He took down Arlong Park. There are all these witness statements from the villagers. They’re saying he did it all for his friend.”

“If anyone even thinks about coming for his bounty, I’m killing everyone on the Grand Line and then myself,” Sabo says. It takes knowing him as well as Ace knows him to be able to tell over the phone that he’s crying buckets. 

“Get in line,” Ace says. If anyone so much as looks at Luffy wrong he’s burning this goddamn planet down. He can’t tear his eyes away from the poster for more than a few seconds at a time. At the urchin grin, the pencil-mark curve of a scar, this bright young man he’s never met who is so, so familiar. 

“They’re calling him Straw Hat Luffy,” Deuce says. He’s a pillar of serenity in a sea of absolute chaos, leaning on Ace’s shoulder to read with him. There’s a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Now I’ll finally get to meet him.”

Which turns out to be easier said than done, because Luffy and his merry band of lunatics won’t seem to stay in one fucking spot for longer than an hour. It takes weeks to finally track that cute little caravel down to a summer island about halfway through the Grand Line, and by that time Sabo has taken a leave of absence from the Army to join him. They’re close now. They’re so close. 

Wait for me, Ace would beg him if he could, wondering if this was how Luffy felt all those times his big brothers ran ahead and left him behind. 

———

Ace never knew how heavy a heart could be when he was a child, a half-feral, angry, touch-starved thing. But now his heart is full—now it bursts at the seams, spills through his ribcage, until there’s no part of him that isn’t touched by it—and it’s the heaviest thing he’s ever carried. 

A precious burden. He’s twice the man he would have been without it. He will never, not one time in his life ever, entertain the idea of putting it down. 

But gods, Ace thinks, it would be easier, so much easier, to rip the stupid thing out of his chest and walk around a hollow shell of someone once-loved than it would be to stand here for one more minute and look down at his baby brother looking up at him like he’s a total stranger. 

“Who’s this guy?” a blond man behind Luffy mutters. With the touseled hair hanging in an artful curtain over half his face and the cigarette between his teeth and the well-cut linen suit that makes it very clear he never skips leg day, blondie gives off an air of Do Not Fuck With Me just by breathing in a way that reminds Ace of Sabo at that age. 

The swordsman beside him, called Roronoa Zoro on his bounty poster, is scowling outright, gray eyes sharp, ready at any moment to leap over Luffy like a faithful hound and dig into Ace with his teeth the second he presents as danger. 

It makes Ace feel kind of nostalgic, like he’s looking at an old photo of himself. 

He tries to focus on the nostalgic feeling, because all the rest of his brain is drowning in guilt and grief. 

Somehow, he wasn’t prepared for this moment. Years of searching, nearly half his life, and he’s finally standing in front of the person whose absence tore a hole clean out of his whole future, and he has no idea what to say. 

You look well, springs to mind, because Luffy does. His hair and skin and eyes are all different shades of brown that gleam with good health under the desert sun. He’s still skinny, but not in the waifish, underfed way of all the Gray Terminal kids. He looks like he’s been eating well. It settles something in Ace’s heart in the one tiny corner of it that isn’t breaking. 

I should have been there, is the next-most immediate thought, and it almost takes Ace’s knees out from under him. He should have been there to make sure Luffy ate well. He should have been there to save him from the fire, to help him recover from the smoke sickness, to hold him when he cried in his sleep and to take his hand when he wandered aimlessly around the village with no one to play with and nothing to look forward to. 

I’m sorry I left you, is what it boils down to, what Ace has held close and carved into his heart over the years, hating himself, hating the child he was who thought he knew better, who thought he could conquer everything without losing anything. I never should have left you. 

But Luffy doesn’t know him from any other person in this busy marketplace, his head tilting to one side like a curious little bird’s, and Ace can’t think of anything to say to him that he’ll understand. 

He needs Sabo. He’s about to become a walking fire hazard, and he’s about to mess this whole thing up, this reunion that was almost a decade in the making. Luffy’s two friends are eyeing him with mounting suspicion the longer he stands there and stares at their captain, every line of their body still the way a predator’s body stills in preparation for a pounce. Luffy, for his part, is still engaged, but only barely. His interest is slipping away—there are too many sights and smells and things bustling all around for him to want to stand still for a gawking stranger that doesn’t even have anything exciting to say.

His little brother. Crybaby Luffy. The boy who crawled under Ace’s blanket when their treehouse quaked in a storm, who held Sabo’s hand when they stayed out too late and walked home through the jungle in the dark. He’s a pirate now, a Wanted person, with a crew and a ship all his own, and he got this far without them. The last time Ace saw him was that last night in the Gray Terminal, when Ace was being mean on purpose to make sure Luffy stayed away from certain danger. 

It occurs to Ace, for the very first time, that Luffy doesn't need him anymore. That tiny seven year old grew up. 

“I saw you in the paper,” he finally says, making a concentrated effort to sound like a human being. “You’re pretty cool.”

Luffy brightens immediately. “Yeah? Are you a pirate, too?”

“I am. Made a promise to my brothers when I was a kid that we’d sail the seas together one day.”

“Wow!” Luffy says, suitably impressed. “We made a promise like that, too.” He loops both his arms through one of Blondie’s and one of Roronoa’s. “We decided way back when we were little that we were gonna stick together and become the pirate king, and the greatest swordsman, and the man who discovers All Blue!”

So one of his two guard dogs must be the little kitchen boy from The Orbit who spirited Luffy away from Foosha. The other must have come along not much later if they were all children together. Ace wants to hear the story so badly he has to clench his jaw to keep from asking. He wants to hear about everything. 

Instead, ignoring the way Roronoa’s hand closes around the hilt of one of his swords, Ace reaches out and flicks the brim of Luffy’s hat so that it slips backwards off his head. Luffy squawks, and tries to free his arms in time to catch it, and then freezes in place at the touch to his hair.

Ace ruffles it fondly, muscle memory that hasn’t corroded even after a decade, and says what he should have said the first time that sunshine child in a worn straw hat shared a wild, impossible wish; 

“I hope I’m there to see it when all those dreams of yours come true.”

If he had stayed a second longer, he would have seen the way Luffy mirrored Ace’s touch with his own fingers, frozen in place. 

Instead, Ace has officially reached his emotional threshold, and formally retreats to find his twin. They take turns being the stable one and Ace is calling dibs on being a basket case for the next month. Masked Deuce is just going to have to deal. 

Sabo got back to their meeting spot first, an outdoor table outside a tavern that hasn’t yet opened for the day, and already has their map rolled out and pinned down at the corners by various junk from their luggage. He’s marking something down and calls over a distracted hello, and Ace bleakly replies, “I found him.”

His tone is all wrong for the remarkably momentous occasion he’s announcing, so it’s not really Sabo’s fault that it doesn’t click right away. Sabo says, “Found who?” and Ace just looks at him with all his helplessness and weariness plain on his face, and Sabo drags an ink mark all across Sandy Island on the map as he whirls around and says, “You found him?” 

“It’s not going to be how we thought,” Ace says, trying to manage his brother’s expectations. They share everything, but Ace would keep this heartbreak to himself if he knew how. “It’s—I think we took too long.”

“What do you mean?” Sabo asks, hands clenching into fists and unclenching. The fountain pen is dripping ink, ruining the fine leather of his left glove. 

“He didn’t know me. I knew he wouldn’t, not really, but he—he didn’t recognize me at all,” Ace tries to explain. He feels stupid and childish and ungrateful, but really he just has no idea what to do. Luffy doesn’t know him and doesn’t need him and how is he supposed to fill a place in that kid’s life that doesn’t exist anymore? “We’ll have to—to start over from scratch, but how? How are we supposed to make someone like Luffy care about people like us? He’s sunshine personified, and deserves to have everything he wants and the best this shitty world has to offer, and we’re just—two selfish idiots who couldn’t even take care of one little kid between the two of us.” The awful truth, delivered quietly: “Luffy doesn’t need us anymore. I can’t see why he’d want us around now.”

Sabo is watching him like something carved from marble. Ace would never tell him, because it would hurt his feelings in a way nothing else ever could, but there are times when Sabo looks every bit the nobleman his biological family wanted him to be. The line of his jaw and the fall of his hair and his deep set eyes are regal, especially when he’s focused, when he’s working through a problem, when he’s the last sane voice in a room and he’s waiting for the morons wasting his time to run out of breath. 

And then his eyes flicker past Ace’s shoulder, and his expression transforms. The breath leaves him in a rush like it was punched out of him, his lips parting, blue eyes widening in a way that seems to shave whole years from his face. 

Something causes him, impossibly, incongruously, to smile. 

“Would you put money on that?” he asks. 

“What? Yes,” Ace says, thrown off by the inappropriate lightness of his tone. He feels himself start to bristle defensively. “Are you even paying attention?” 

“One of us has to,” Sabo says, only smiling wider, and Ace feels sparks falling off his fingers in sheer aggravation as he turns around to see what is so—

He has three seconds at most to take in the sight of Luffy hurtling up the hill at top speed. It’s been years and years, but three seconds is all he needs. His arms remember how to reach out and catch him. 

“I waited where you left me, but you never came back!” Luffy shouts. “You can’t be mad! I waited and waited, and then I went out to find you instead! I didn’t remember you but I had to find you! I still don’t—I still don’t know some things—but I know it’s your fault for taking too long!” 

Sabo lurches over and Luffy’s rubbery hug wraps around them both and Ace is too shell-shocked by the last minute to do anything but hug back. 

Luffy shoves his face in Ace’s shoulder, and there’s a hot, wet smear of tears there. It gives away that Straw Hat Luffy, the pirate captain worth thirty million berries, is maybe not as grown-up as Ace had initially feared. 

Sabo presses his face against the crown of Luffy’s head, too overcome to do anything but hold him. The regal young man from moments ago is long gone. The one standing here with them is that street-rat from Dawn who knew the best places to steal food from, who always made sure they never went hungry, who once shrugged off his fine winter coat at the market and traded it to a vendor for a pair of sturdy boots for Ace and thick woolen mittens for Luffy. He had shivered all the way home, where there was an extra coat in the treehouse he could use, until Luffy had the bright idea that they should all bundle into Ace’s oversized cloak together for warmth and whined until Ace agreed just to shut him up. That had been the most annoying hike up Mount Colubo in history. It’s a memory that Ace cherishes beyond reason. 

Ace whispers, “Of course I’m not mad, Lu.” It’s been ages since he was that hostile, hateful little thing who would take a bite out of anything that dared to show its soft underbelly to him. He presses as close as he can, cheek to cheek with this piece of his family that’s gone missing for far too long, and adds, “You’ve never been obedient a day in your life. If I expected anything different, that’s on me.”

Luffy laughs, and it’s snotty and choked and pure music to Ace’s ears. The kid worms closer, makes himself smaller, and lets himself be held. 

He doesn’t need his brothers. His shoulders are broad, and his arms are solid and strong. He’s already made a name for himself, and even now those two friends of his are lingering watchfully further down the road—far enough away to give the respectful illusion of privacy, near enough to make Ace and Sabo’s day a living hell if they try anything fishy. It’s probably been a long time since he’s needed someone to hold his hand or carry him home. 

But if, by some insane, undeserved miracle, Luffy still wants them…

It’s enough. It’s more than enough. It’s more than Ace has had in ten years. 

What one piece? he thinks, arms full and aching. I’ve got it all right here. 

#one piece #op #opfic #asl bros #portgas d ace #revolutionary sabo #monkey d luffy #my writing #prompt #wizardmafianinjapirate

[valewritessss]

I saw someone on TikTok say that Percabeth is one sided and all I could say is that it looks like someone didn’t read Mark of Athena. Then I did some research and I found out they’re a Pereyna shipper(I had no idea that existed).

Personally, I don't get it, Reyna literally just tried to make a move on Percy but he rejected her and neither of them thought about it again so I don’t really see it. Either way, that's not the issue because I don't really care what people ship as long as it's not weird or creepy (I'm looking at any Artemis x Percy, Luke x Percy, Annabeth x Luke, or Percy x Nico shippers).

But back to the Percabeth is one sided thing, I’m a little bit confused. Because, did they miss the Annabeth pining silently but obviously for Percy for YEARS, Annabeth being jealous of Rachel partly because she liked Percy, Annabeth telling Athena that Percy is everything to her, Annabeth driving herself crazy those months Percy was gone and searching for him without giving up. So “Percabeth is one sided” where???

Then upon further research I found that of course, turns out they are an Annabeth hater(they don’t admit it but it’s obvious for apparent reasons). Some of their reasons: Annabeth's nickname for Percy, “seaweed brain” is degrading and implies he is stupid, Annabeth is mean to Rachel, and Annabeth is scared of Percy which made him feel like he deserves to die.

1. Annabeths nickname for Percy started out as teasing but became endearing for the both of them, just like the nickname “wise girl”. Percy even gets mad at Thalia for using this nickname because he considers it something solely Annabeth can use. In no way has Percy ever said or even mentioned that he feels put down because of the nickname. Also, Percy never hesitates to call anyone, even gods, out on their shit, so if it was really bothering him, he would most likely say something.

2. Honestly, the whole deal with Rachel was never that deep. Like, it did have a deeper meaning for Annabeth than many could comprehend but the whole catty part was never that big. A few snide remarks, sure, but it's not like she was bullying Rachel. If anyone thinks otherwise, that's okay, but in my opinion it was meant to be funny and it came off as such, and even Rachel and Annabeth themselves moved on and became fiends. Moving forward, considering the context of Annabeth's jealousy, it makes total sense for her to feel resentment towards Rachel. I'm not saying it's justified, but if a boy she'd been crushing on for years and is destined to die soon spends his last summer with another girl who is closer to normal than Annabeth could ever be, in what world would she not be mad? In fact, some of it was just teenage pettiness. And that's fine, she wasn't hurting anyone. Being a teenager with a crush is hard, and it's harder when you're a demigod with a huge prophecy hanging over you and your best friends heads. So is her anger justified? Maybe. But is she valid? Absolutely.

3. This is the most ridiculous reason yet. First of all, has Percy ever told Annabeth he feels like he deserves to die? I don't think so. Especially not before he almost let himself die with Jason there. I don't know if that person was just expecting Annabeth to guess, or what. Secondly, they were in Tartarus, and Percy did something scary. So of course, Annabeth is going to be scared. If Percy feels like Annabeth being scared makes him want to die, that's not really Annabeth's fault. And to expect Annabeth to make him feel better about something she is still recovering from herself doesn't make much sense, does it. At this point it just felt like they were going to hate Annabeth regardless, and these weren't actual issues they had with her they just saw a reason to hate her and went for it.

Hey, ship whatever you want and hate whoever you want, but don't come with false interpretations(that I know was easy to comprehend) as evidence for why you are right, please.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #heros of olympus #percabeth #seaweed brain #wise girl #reyna avila ramirez arellano #not pereyna slander #even though I don't really get it #not Rachel slander either #rachel elizabeth dare #anti annabeth antis #anti annabeth bashing #free my girl #she did no wrong #don't mind the rant I just had to get it out #percy jackson and the olympians #mark of athena #rant post #pjo #hoo

[olderthannetfic]

One hand I get not wanting to tag every little toot, and some times it's also just not relevant. On the other hand, not tagging on an archive where one part of the purpose is to actually find and categorize stuff so it can be found.

I do think some people are a bit obnoxious when it feels like they're bragging about not tagging or being passive aggressive about the idea of tagging certain parts in the fics. I just get the feeling like people are getting whiny about tagging with actual info tags instead of just "meme tags".

*"No beta readers we die like X." "Wrote this at 4am instead of doing homework." Those kind tags.

Some people also seem angry that certain tags might exclude them from "potential" readers who use the exclude tags function to begin with. Like they're in some way owed readers, even those who have no interest in what you're actually writing. "You don't have to read it." Yeah, that's what's gonna happen regardless, so why is tagging such a big deal in that case? In the end you didn't get anything from not tagging either. Especially tags that divide readers. On the other hand they don't think of the people who are specifically looking for those tags. Because it's an archive, and people use the tag function to also find fics with specific tags. If you don't tag it, people who want to read it won't find it.

I think a good example recently was the transman Mpreg fic anon submission. Someone here mentioned they get triggered by transman preg fic but can read cis-Mpreg, because Cis Mpreg doesn't trigger their dysphoria. (I think that's what they said) This is an example of someone curating their own online experience. People are literally trying to curate their experience online, and avoid fics that contain content that's upsetting to them, but when you don't tag just because you wanna be passive aggressive about certain tags, you're making that really hard.

It's like people are more upset about the potential "tag haters", and wanting to "own them" than they are about being welcoming to people who want to read their works, or people who're just trying to curate their online ventures.

Idk maybe it is bc more people have the algorithm brain so they feel like they shouldn't have to tag for exclusion, only tags that get the most eyes and the most attention, but tagging on AO3 is mostly beneficial to everyone involved. People who want to read something will include the tag, people who don't like it will exclude it, and many of the users will sort themselves into readers and not readers, without having to slowly deal with annoyed people jumping ship.

And yes, I know about antis who just write shit comments, but those people are going to do that regardless of if you tag or not, because some of them are incredibly obsessive about online stalking.

--

I mean, sure, but half of the tag discourse is people who think that tag X is central to every story vs. authors who don't think in terms of X.

Or it's people who want to exclude the merest mention of X vs. people who tag for people who want to find X, which is two very different thresholds for X.

[hitlikehammers]

if you can’t write your own necronomicon, store-bought is fine 🪦

(not ideal but: fine) — 1/3

for @klausinamarink, who prompted 'NECROMANCY' at the @steddiesummerexchange

Steve wants this clear, on-the-record, absolutely fucking crystal, okay?

It was not his intention to snoop through Eddie’s shit.

It’s not even a ‘respect for the dead’ thing. It’s just a ‘be a decent dude and don’t go through another dude’s personal stuff’ thing.

So like. Just to be clear.

It does not start out the way it…ends up.

——————

How it does start out is this notion that gets stuck in Steve’s head about the fucking gravestone they’re putting up. He hates the idea of it being installed over nothing, just plopped atop grass and dirt and just, just…nothing.

Almost like they’re saying Eddie was somehow nothing, and when the overall notion hits on that thought specifically Steve has this simultaneous urge to break a window and vomit, and it’s just, it’s not—

He needs to find a way to curb that feeling.

He hates it enough to mention it to the others, who don’t get it. At all. Maybe because it’s Steve, and they don’t think he knew Eddie enough to be this…this. Maybe because it’s Steve and that’s not Steve’s role, is it? Having the feelings. And if Steve was in a clearer frame of mind, maybe he’d be able to wonder if the people he’s asking just can’t handle what he’s asking, can’t process more of…any of it, not right now.

But he’s not. In a clearer frame of mind. He can’t process, either, beyond the kind of fucking all-consuming need to not bury nothing under Eddie Munson’s name.

So he buys a casket. Anonymously, uses his dad’s business card. Ships it to the place he knows is doing the stone, there’s really only one option in town and maybe they’ll be confused, or maybe they’ll be pissed, but Steve makes sure when it arrives that it sits on their doorstep, moves it in the night when it gets dropped after hours: unavoidable. Unignorable. Black on the outside and red on the inside, but Steve moves it all by himself and it’s still too light. It’s still empty. It’s not quite nothing.

But fuck if it’s enough.

The only two people he’s tried to broach the subject with—or who’ve heard him in the process—and who haven’t brushed him off are Robin, and that’s because she’s his soulmate, and they haven’t slept without one another in arm’s-reach at the absolute most since they lost—

Well. Since.

The second person is Eleven, and she’d just overheard Mike scoffing and Dustin blinking silently, and Steve had known when to leave a battle that couldn’t be won because it wasn’t even gonna be fought, but he had caught her with a crease between her eyes. Her face scrunched all thoughtful. Listening.

And if nothing else: not dismissing.

So when the idea strikes—not manic, it’s not a manic sort of idea, maybe it’s close, like in the ballpark of manic but hotdogs and millionaires are also in the same ballpark at the same time, y’know, and they’re nothing alike so fuck you—but when the not-manic idea strikes to put something, something that means something, that carries literal and figurative weight, inside that casket?

He tells Robin, who looks at him with sadness but not with pity, and who asks how they’ll manage it, rather than trying to talk him out of it. He’ll never get over how lucky he is to have her; never learn words that live up to how much she means to him.

But also: it’s good that all she does is ask how. Because Steve actually has that figured out.

He heads to Hop’s cabin when he knows both he and Joyce are gone. He explains in simple but plain terms, the kind he’s learning El appreciates best and processes easiest, especially when feelings are involved. And these feelings she grasps without hesitation, and fills in Steve’s vague ideas with concrete plans, and it takes less than twelve hours to see them at Forest Hills, where the government still hasn’t moved that goddamn trailer to give anyone any semblance of closure but definitely finds the time and manpower to put up new tape around the scene whenever it’s tampered with, fuck those motherfuckers all over again and—

Right. Well.

It takes less than twelve hours for El to distract the guards with a very minor fire on the other end of the park and some suspicious-sounding chittering she bets right on piquing their attention, giving Steve and Robin the in to sneak around the barriers and find their quarry: the version of the Warlock that never saw the Upside Down, knocked to the floor but in one piece. Weighty.

Something that means something, to mourn in the ground.

Robin’s peeking out the window, checking if the coast is clear for them to jet, for Eleven to ease off and meet them back at Steve’s car to go back to their evenings like nothing ever happened, save for the guitar in Steve’s trunk and at her signal Steve makes to follow with said guitar slung awkward across his back but then something…something pulls in him. It’s not even a catch from the corner of his eye or some shit, no, he feels it in the center of his chest:

What if it’s not enough?

So he grabs as many of the books scattered on the floor around a cracked and quaked-apart shelf in the corner as he can fit between both arms, all sorts and shapes and sizes, and then he’s ignoring Robin’s raised brow and crawling as quiet as he can back out of the trailer, out of the half crime scene, half quarantine zone, and running for the trees to get back to where they parked.

El’s waiting for them, and as he drives, honestly?

Steve thought he’d feel better about things, now. He thought this would start to calm that nauseous rage in him.

Maybe once it’s in the casket. Maybe once he feels the heft of it as a real thing.

Maybe.

——————

It would probably be logical to think that it’s the weight of the guitar that makes the shift, that turns the tides.

But that’d actually be a goddamn stupid thought because nothing about any of this—this town, what lies beneath it, the war they’re fighting the battle they lost, Steves fucking life now at large—none of it is logical, Jesus Christ. The guitar. What a fucking dumb idea.

Because it’s the books, of course.

It’s the goddamn books.

Because the guitar helps but it’s not enough. Steve tried his fucking hardest to lift Eddie’s body, had him in his arms but the gates were closing, the rope half-assed at too short after he’d cut Dustin off and with all of their wounds even Robin and Nancy—both with more upper body strength then you’d think—were basically fish in a fucking barrel and Steve was in worse shape but fuck if he didn’t get them out, get everyone out but—

He’d been the last, with Eddie. He’d felt the heft of that body, too cool against his chest but not cold, not yet—not dead weight, not dead weight, he was a person, he was this incredible person Steve was only just getting to know and he was, now he was—

No one had been unscathed to the point of being able to help Steve up. Steve had had the kind of shocking sort of clarity for being ready to stay with Eddie as the gate sizzled and narrowed, no man fucking left behind, right, but for the screaming growing ever more shrill for each failed attempt Steve made at holding Eddie different, at trying to get up and over the threshold together to no avail: he made the call the rest of them were screaming of him to make, despite the messiest fucking tears:

Leave him. He’s already gone. You’re not.

He knew how much Eddie weighed to carry, is the point. And the man was a lanky fucker with a little more build to him than first glance gave away but still: the guitar does barely half the work of filling the void.

Though the exact void Steve’s trying to fill might be…it might be more complicated than just the fucking casket not being empty.

But the casket does need more than just the instrument.

He sorts through the books he grabbed blindly; they all must at least be ones Eddie liked but…The Lord of the Rings. There are three of those, right? I feel like there are at least the three, and there are three right here that look so well loved they can’t not have meaning; Steve wanted to read them. He won’t be quick enough to read these copies, though, and that does feel like such a fucking loss, and that’s the point, isn’t it?

The grave can’t be empty. It can’t be meaningless. The marker’s meant to bear the loss.

They’re big, like, thick fucking books—one of about a hundred reasons why Steve hadn’t picked them up before. And no, he’s not…he’s not going to dwell on the why behind the way he lets his fingers flip the pages slow, stop here and there and drag the nail-tip across a line, a paragraph, wondering what some of the words mean, what Eddie would have thought of them, if he were here to ask—

There needs to be more weight. He shoves the trilogy to the side and grabs for…oh.

Oh, these are the…manual. Thingies.

For the dragon dungeons.

He lifts one, tests it: not as heavy. But there…there are a lot, and—

And Steve’s opening them too, flipping slow just the same: wondering. Wishing he could have a running commentary alongside that boundless energy even in the face of the end of the world, maybe because of the impending doom of the end of the goddamn world and Steve, walking shoulder to shoulder with him in those fucking death woods, he, it was, they—

“He was right,” Steve remarks, and realizes belatedly that it’s the first words he’s said to Robin where she’s flicking through a stack of books much quicker than him, clinical: all about the weight for the casket but Steve’s stuck on a page that takes him back to a conversation he heard only half of, the kids trying to catch Eddie up, trying to describe what they all call demogorgons and Eddie muttering under his breath about how that sounded absolutely fucking not like a demogorgon, and there a drawing right here, black and white and:

“They look nothing like they do in the game.”

Robin meets his gaze and still—somehow—her eyes are sad but they don’t pity him. Not yet, at least.

He’ll take it.

“Nothing in these is even really, like, connected,” Steve mumbles as he flips, flinches at the marked up pages on Vecna, Jesus fuck; “or workable,” he looks at the Mind Flayer and cringes, feels the urge to hide those pages from Robin even if she isn’t close, then decides to play it safe for probably irrational reasons and tosses the book to the side and grabs blindly for another one, oh cool, this looks like…spells and shit: “like, none of this looks apple,” Steve bites his lower lip, the word he’s looking for a little fuzzy when he’s scanning over the words on the page, because they’re, they’re not; “not even applicable, y’know, in reality,” but that’s vague, they’ve set foot in more than one reality, so does that even count as a caveat anymore but then, but then—and what they fuck is his heart pounding all of a sudden, he’s just sitting down, that’s not; but then;

“Or else, not for the Upside…”

His voice gives, peters out. His pulse is thick in his throat. He’s staring so hard at nonsense, at fantasy, at, at useless pretend things that won’t change anything, won’t fucking help, and why does it all hurt in his chest so fucking much and—

“Right?”

He looks up and Rob’s already got eyes on him. He can’t imagine how he looks. His vision’s a little…blurry, and it doesn’t even feel like it’s from tears, which…it does feel like it should be—but she might have crossed over to watching him with pity, now. He wouldn’t be able to tell.

But either way: Robin knows him, down to the cells. She knows the question he speaks out loud isn’t the question he’s asking. He’s not asking for reassurance, or confirmation. He’s not even asking her an opinion. He’s sure as shit not asking for permission.

Because he’s dizzy. His heart’s pounding, and he’s fucking dizzy, and it’s nonsense, it’s not real, it’s all a stupid game and the names don’t even match—

But. All of it was real. In some way, it was real.

It’s not an exact science, not a perfect match: it never was. But that wasn’t the point. It was a roadmap. It was a way to process the unfathomable enough to get from point A to point B.

And looking at the words on the page where his fingertip is drawing a long below: he can’t…not wonder. And if he’s already set on wondering, then fuck, fuck—the rage in his chest is easy, his heart doesn’t feel so squished and his might not sick up his lunch for the first time after trying to eat more than a peanut butter sandwich from the community hub. There’s something in this. It’s what he’s been searching for. He reads the words again, again, and again and yeah, they’re absurd, they’re absolutely insane:

RAISE DEAD

But maybe…maybe they’re a roadmap. Inexact but…but up to the task. What if.

They can’t not…try.

Steve will not live with himself if they don’t try.

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#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #angst #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort #necromancy #resurrection #pre-relationship #(but won't stay 'pre' if these crazy kids succeed in their crazy plot!) #happy ending #temporary character death #TEMPORARY being the important part; that IS the orienting concept of the story also SEE HAPPY ENDING ABOVE #platonic stobin #an overabundance of dungeons & dragons references #grief/mourning #but: what if you took that grief for your newly-realized deceased crush & jammed it into seeing if dnd spells worked in a monster dimension #the 'raise dead' spell is getting heavy mileage here #stranger things #gift fic #klausinamarink #steddiesummerficexchange #hitlikehammers v words #hitlikehammers writes #store-bought necronomicon

[twitteringnerdsneverfly]

Am I the only one that hates when this fandom tries to make doumeki the bad guy every chance they get? Like some people blame him for every single bad thing that has happened to yashiro since he entered his life and as someone that is really emotionally attached to doumeki I can't help but feel sad anytime I see them slandering him.

People are saying that he should stop pretending not to care that it's damaging yashiro's mental health more but what about his? I don't think people are being realistic about what's happening like imagine getting shot at and abandoned by confessing your feelings in the first place, even if you do manage to forgive that person you would never wanna do that again especially knowing how sensitive they get to that, yes I admit I hate what's happening between them and I wish they just talk it out but that's not happening anytime soon.

I honestly just want doumeki's pov I want to know what his thinking, how his feeling, is he still angry, what his next move is, how he really feels about the whole fuck buddy thing.....people are saying his caging yashiro but is he really? They are caging themselves, yashiro not willing to let go of doumeki again that's why he willingly gives himself to him and doumeki just wanting to be near the man he loves even if it means just sex it's sad.

Sorry for the long text😭 What do you think about this? I may be just sensitive because I really feel for doumeki

Hi Anonymous! 👋🏼 I wonder if you're the same Anonymous who asks me questions or if you're a different Anonymous every time? Either way, I'm happy to be asked questions, thank you for asking me for my opinion 🤗

So I also really feel for Doumeki. I fortunately have not come across the posts you've referenced. I will say however that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. So if people don't like Doumeki that's their choice and that's OK.

So people saying every bad thing has happened to Yashiro since Doumeki entered his life: I mean tbh a shit tonne of bad things have already happened to Yashiro without Doumeki. And that whole arc with Hirata wanting to take Yashiro out, had nothing to do with Doumeki. People targeting Yashiro is part of the Yakuza life, Doumeki or not.

Re: Yashiro's mental health - this is already fucked tbh. Doumeki or not, Yashiro has convinced himself he loves his trauma and almost died post timeskip in how brutal and messed up his sex has become. Yashiro is not OK. He never has been. I see no evidence for Doumeki in just coming to Y for sex having any detriment to Yashiro's mental health.

The only thing this is going to do, is make Yashiro question what he wants and this is a good thing.

I personally think Doumeki is a fucking genius. He has completely understood how fucked up Yashiro is, that any indication of sentiment of love, spoken or expressed in any way other than sex, will repulse Yashiro (in fact the tender sex already repulses him). Yashiro hates and wants the tenderness. Yashiro wants to be loved but can't let himself be loved because what is love? Doumeki has found the sweet spot: a way of being together without being together.

Doumeki is in love with Yashiro but any hint of this or pressure from Doumeki's side, as you rightly said, could lead to Yashiro shooting him or doing something reckless.

At the very least, Doumeki knows now that Yashiro's body reacts to him and only him. Y's body knows love and tenderness and now craves to taste more, though he isn't used to this new sweet taste when he's had such bitter experiences.

I can't see at all how Doumeki is caging Yashiro; in fact the opposite is true - Doumeki is on the cusp of setting Yashiro free. But Doumeki can only open the birdcage. Yashiro needs to choose to fly. Yashiro needs to choose to accept this tenderness, this devotion, this love and accept the rough punishing sex isn't actually what he wants.

Doumeki is the necessary catalyst to make Yashiro question. But at the end of the day, the only person who can save Yashiro is Yashiro.

I'm fortunately unbothered by others' negative opinions of Doumeki. If people don't like him that's OK.

I trust my own opinion here and I love both Doumeki and Yashiro. I want both to receive the love that each other can give more than just the sex.

Yashiro needs to accept that he is in love with Doumeki and right now, Doumeki has accepted that for now, Yashiro can't love him.

But in the unspoken plains of sex, both can love and hide their true feelings at the exact same time.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yashiro x doumeki #saezuru meta #saezuru ch 58 #saezuru fandom

[aragaki]

Darlin/Pack Members

Because my self-control is zero and I just think Darlin' is the most interesting listener character who also deserves the entire world and William Solaire's wallet.

Milo

Already wrote some about them here but they're my non-canon otp so ofc I wanna talk about them more

The pack's most photogenic couple. Milo puts in the effort to look good and dress well but Darlin' is just the most effortlessly good-looking. They can roll out of bed in yesterday's clothes and unbrushed hair and any candid shot looks like it belongs on an influencer's curated social media. It drives poor Milo crazy.

Before they moved in together, Milo would send messages to Darlin' throughout the day to let them know what he was up to and where he was going. They never asked but he knows it makes them more comfortable and he's always happy to do it.

Christian can't make his jokes about Milo's wolf size for nearly as long when he's mates with Darlin'. Darlin' isn't a brute, they're a protector, so of course they notice the way Milo's smile tightens when Christian piggybacks onto Ash's jokes. They give him three chances to knock it off and after he doesn't listen to them on strike three, they start swinging. Darlin' doesn't ask Milo to talk to David about how he's feeling but he has to anyway when David interrogates him about what caused Darlin' to break Christian's nose.

Darlin' has always been Marie's favorite and she has no problem saying as much. She's wanted them as her kid for as long as she's known them, little spitfire that they are, and is beyond happy when Milo finally makes it official.

This also means that Marie is Darlin's primary healer and gives them twice the ration of shit that she gives anyone else - including Milo! She loves them so much but will not hesitate to kick their ass for being reckless.

Milo is without a doubt Darlin's lifeline during pack meetings. It's a lot, being home and surrounded by people you thought would be fine without you - who are upset with you for thinking so - and Milo knows all the best places to escape with them. They never admit to needing a breather but he always knows.

Milo and Darlin train together!! They absolutely do!! Darlin' knows they can rock Milo's shit and he does too, and he loves it. When they spar or box together it's always going to end in a makeout session. He can't help it, they look so damn fine all fired up and sweaty. They've absolutely gotten caught but no amount of teasing will get them to stop.

Darlin' doesn't mind dressing up for Milo. It's not their thing usually, simple and maneuverable works best for them but every now and again they can be persuaded with plenty of kisses. Fancy restaurants make them feel out of place but Milo always seems so happy to see them under the light of glittery chandeliers and that makes them happy too.

One time he did manage to piss off Darlin' during a fancy dinner so they pretended to propose to him in front of the entire restaurant and it nearly gave him a heart attack. The cake and champagne they were given more than made up for it though.

When Darlin' sits down, Milo has the habit of coming up behind them and massaging their shoulders and neck. He has a hard time keeping his hands off of them at the best of times but he wants to help get rid of some of their stress so small random massages are his way of helping with that.

Darlin' likes things that are simple and physical, they're a tactile person so they've absolutely got a photo album of them and Milo. Marie even gave them some old pictures of them together from their teens for it. Milo finds it one day by accident and if it had him crying on their bedroom floor for 15 minutes that's between him and Aggro.

Speaking of Aggro, he has a love-hate relationship with Darlin'. They're convinced the cat hates them, the way he swats at them and hisses. They say Milo is Aggro's person and he's jealous that Darlin' takes up so much of his attention. But every night, he tries to climb up and sleep on Darlin's chest, head resting under their chin. And if Milo tries to move him to cuddle with Darlin' he gets a full-force bapping to the face until he gives up and lets Aggro do what he wants.

Darlin' has absolutely shifted and laid down so Aggro could climb up onto their back and nap there. They'll never tell a soul.

I talked about it in my other Milo post but Milo kissing Darlin's scars!! They've been through so much and it's affected their self-image so much. Milo can't stand that. So he kisses each and every one, even the ones that make Darlin' lip curl in disgust at themselves, and say something about them that he loves. Physical, emotional, about their personality. Anything. This praise king could go on forever. And he means it and that's what makes Darlin's heart ache the most.

And when they start to believe it, Milo couldn't be more proud. The crease between their brows when they see themselves smoothes out. They don't sneer at the bite marks that are dotted around their skin nearly as much. They get confidence in how they look, and in how desirable Milo finds them. He can't wait until it turns into true self-love.

Milo has no problem being the in-between for Darlin' and David. Both have strong personalities. Both can word things that, while meant to be loving, can be harsh and wound the one who hears them. Milo doesn't have a lot of patience, but he is fluent in Grumpy Wolf at this point. His interventions have honestly brought the unintentional hostility between them down and made it easier for them to talk about their thoughts, feelings, and opinions on their own.

When they're shifted, they're almost always stuck together. Doesn't matter if it's a hunt, a run during the Solstice, anything. They will not be separated. They're both ready to throw themselves headfirst into whatever danger might happen to protect the other, much to the exhaustion of the rest of the pack who really wish they would just stop throwing themselves into danger.

Asher

"Well mark me down as scared AND horny!" Has been Ash's response to basically everything Darlin' has done since they were teens.

Seriously, there would be no denying that Darlin' intimidated Asher when they joined the pack. A new wolf from outside of Dahlia joins the pack with a chip on their shoulder a mile wide and so fearless they'll jump in first into any problem??? They're intimidating but also!! They aren't mean to him!!

He was without a doubt one of the members of the pack who tried to help Darlin' integrate the most. He'd include them in anything he could, even if it made his other friends side-eye him. He was shameless about it too!! If they wouldn't spend time with him, he'd be following them around like a lost puppy. It was like they had a second shadow.

Some members of the pack scoff and roll their eyes at Asher but not Darlin'. Even if they don't seem interested in his rambling they're always paying attention. They've always listened. And he didn't realize how important that was to him until it was gone.

Becoming pack beta and David's second in command was a huge shift and he's well aware that plenty of people don't think he's up for it. But Darlin' was never one of them. They had their own quiet belief in Ash and what he could do, never questioned his fit for the role. Even as they withdrew from the pack they knew that David could handle it if he had Asher's support.

After Darlin' fell into the wrong crowd, Ash was the most vocal about getting them back and bringing them home. No argument mattered to him, Darlin' was a member of the pack and they needed to be there. He wasn't above saying it was just because he missed them. That didn't change when they stopped being teenagers. He still feels like a dumb kid with a huge crush who missed his chance.

Then, all at once, it all falls apart. Darlin's unempowered friend is almost killed, by Darln's own mate, and the Shaw pack is rallying behind them to try and push the department to act. Then it goes quiet. They leave, saying they're heading up to be with their family and Ash feels like someone hollowed out his chest. It's how he imagined it feels like when someone's mate dies - a constant ache in his chest. Which he knows he shouldn't feel because regardless of his feelings Darlin' isn't his mate. Hell, they just had to leave theirs because he was a shitty person!!

He's confused and it only gets worse when he finds out Darlin' had been lying to them. That Quinn was still at large, that they put the pack at risk, that they were putting themselves at risk trying to handle it alone. They didn't rely on the pack. On their friends. On him. And his impostor syndrome kicks him off on a spiral. But it doesn't take much to pull him out of it, not when Darlin' is finally back in his life.

As mates, Ash is the Will Smith red carpet meme. He wants everyone to look at his mate, to know that he's their mate and they're soooo in love!! It drives poor Darlin' insane.

And he can get away with it!! And damn near anything because Darlin' is so weak to Ash's puppy dog eyes. They have been since they were teens. If Asher wants a grilled cheese at 3 AM all he has to do is flash those eyes and Darlin' is hauling themselves out of bed, but grumbling about it the entire way.

Asher and Darlin' spend a lot of downtime gaming together. They trade recommendations back and forth, play each other's favorites, and terrorize everyone else who ends up in their lobbies. Darlin' can get a little heated and toxic during PVP but it's always defused by Asher doing an uwu voice and making Darlin' choke on their laughter.

David and Milo are happier than Asher when they finally get together, they've been listening to his lovesick pining for years and they're TIRED.

David

aka the character that got me into shipping Darlin' with their pack members

David and Darlin have such an interesting dynamic!! The devoted pack alpha and the wayward lone wolf. They both have strong personalities and we've seen them come into conflict with each other

But there's love there. There always has been.

I fully believe that in a David/Darlin' relationship, it'd be a case of he fell first and fell harder. It wasn't love at first sight, David's a bit too cynical for that even before his dad died. But there was a pull to the newcomer that drew him in and helping them settle in wasn't just because of his role as beta.

They were always there, in the background of David, Milo, and Asher's teenage years but never front and center. Always on the fringes, like they never found their footing. Something he wouldn't notice until it was too late.

Then Gabriel dies and Darlin' got together with Quinn. Instead of being distant, they're absent entirely. David knows that Quinn is their mate but something about that burns at his core, makes him feel queasy and unsettled. Like it's wrong. But htere's nothing he can do, he has a pack to run and protect.

The anger and hurt he feels when he finds out that they've been lying to him for so long. That they're trying to hunt down Quinn on their own, so stubborn and self-destructive. The fact that they consider themselves expendable and would risk breaking themselves to avenge their friend and protect the pack. He wants to shake them by the shoulders and tell them they're loved but he knows it'll be better to show them instead.

The pack meeting goes better than he hoped, with members both scolding and reassuring Darlin' of their place and their value. He watches them the whole time out of the corner of his eye and he says it's because he wants to make sure they don't bolt but he knows deep down he's just happy to see them back where they belong

The road to becoming mates is even more bumpy with Darlin' than it would be with Angel. He has to balance being their alpha and their partner and he already feels like he's failed them as a leader, they couldn't even trust him about Quinn.

The shift to being mates came with no small amount of arguing. Darlin' likes to fight with David on just about everything and it drives him crazy. It doesn't matter what it is, big or small it's always some kind of fight or contest and it makes his blood boil but at the same time he loves that little sparkle they get in their eye whenever they challenge him.

When there's a pack run and they're all shifted there's a 100% chance that Darlin' is gonna slam into David's flank and snap at him. Doesn't matter how many times he tells them to stop over the link, they're always going to start shit in a way even Asher wouldn't try.

Honestly, it's like David has two betas the way Darlin' and Asher flank him. And Darlin' isn't above mean-mugging clients if they think they aren't being taken seriously. (again, David tells them to stop. They don't.)

Scary movie nights are even more fun when David and Darlin' are sat next to each other, the contrast makes Darlin's abject terror even more hilarious.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #milo greer #asher talbot #david shaw #redacted milo #redacted asher #redacted david #redactedverse #redacted darlin #redacted tank #marie greer #redacted christian

[pinkeoni]

Bruh. The episode name is "the vanishing of holly wheeler". Not only did they copy Will's episode name and gave it to Holly but they also are intending to give the kidnapping plotline to her character. And we know that should follow up by the other wheelers trying to save her. It is basically making the wheelers byers.

First of all, that list of episode titles come from an unofficial source. Could be real, could be fake. And the name of the title was "The Vanishing of *BLANK* Wheeler with no real confirmation as to the number of letters in the first name since the leak was given verbally, which was then relayed over the internet with "*****" making people believe that it could be Holly.

Second of all, rehashing season one with Holly instead of Will doesn't make any sense and likely improbable and here's why:

I don't see the narrative reason to have Holly go missing. Sure, it could still happen, but I wouldn't see the necessity for it.

The purpose of Will going missing in season 1 was to act as an inciting incident to get all of the other characters involved. The story was driven by Will's disappearance, thus why it was one of the first things we saw happen in the show and why it was deserving of the first episode title.

What would be the purpose of Holly going missing in season 5? Everything has already been set up at the end of season 4. The Upside Down is coming into Hawkins and Vecna has plans to basically take over the world. Max is in a coma and Will can still feel Vecna's left nut. That's reason enough to get the characters involved. We don't need Holly to go missing for the characters to want to take action. Also, if you wanted to get Karen and Ted involved, they already have their two other children involved with the supernatural, so they can get into it that way tangentially.

I think that people are overestimating the reasoning for wanting to replace Holly with an older and more experienced actress, I don't necessarily believe that this recast means that something terrible will happen to her, I just think she was replaced because there is a time skip and Holly is going to need to say more lines than "Mommy, it's snowing!" The original twins cast to play Holly were cast as toddlers, and Nell has more experience actually performing and saying lines. But I don't think that the Duffers are going to end their final season with giving irreparable trauma to a young girl without the chance for that to be resolved in later seasons.

What purpose would Vecna have with taking Holly? What would he even want with her? Vecna targeted specific characters for a specific purpose last season, he doesn't just kidnap little girls for the hell of it. That would be a waste of his time.

He doesn't need to kidnap Holly to get to Will, and personally I hate hate HATE the idea of Will going into the Upside Down in order to get to Holly. Will already has ties to Vecna. Why would he need to kidnap someone to get to him? Also, why would it be Holly? Why not Joyce or Jonathan? What significant relationship does Will have with this little girl who I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any screen time with?

I think people outside of fandom forget that the show has not given the audience a reason to really care about Holly other than the fact that she is a little girl. She has had no significant lines, no significant screen presence, and no significant story line. And all of a sudden the final season of the show hinges on finding this girl that the audience doesn't give a shit about. Okay.

And before someone tries to straw man me and say "Oh, so you're saying that the Wheeler's doesn't have ANY connection to the supernatural and isn't important?" Of course I think they are important. They are as important any character is, they all have their own roles in the story. But the Wheeler's involvement with the supernatural has always been tangential. Barb was taken so Nancy got involved. Will was taken and Mike found El so Mike got involved. Karen is likely to now get involved since her children are now involved. I am making my assertion based on what I am seeing in the show. They are involved with the supernatural because they make themselves involved. Both Will and El are tied to the supernatural in a more direct way, and based on what the show has told me as well as what official sources (The Duffer's themselves), they are more integral to the supernatural plot than any Wheeler. Point blank.

#~in my opinion~ #feel free to disagree idc #but ive been annoyed and holding it in so i had to get it out but now my opinion is all out there so #also i still think its gonna be ted if any wheeler goes missing but i ranted enough here #feel free to read if you want #anon #asks #holly wheeler #st5 speculation #byler #<- target audience #cause thats where most of this conversation has been happening

[bleucaesura]

WTF - Part 3

NO! No no no!

Blitzø tripped over himself to chase after Stolas for the second time that night.

I can’t let him leave me again… Not again!

Stolas was fast, his strides so much longer than Blitzø’s. And he must have heard Blitzø coming after him because he became rigid, dropped his arms, clenched his fists and began to move faster.

But Blitzø caught up. He took a desperate leap forward and snagged one of Stolas’s fists in his hand.

Stolas halted abruptly. A shiver ran up his spine, his feathers rippling in its wake.

It felt so fucking good to touch him.

It felt so good to feel his touch.

“I’m sorry!” Blitzø brought his other hand out and clutched tightly to Stolas’s hand. Like his life depended on it.

Blitzø looked down, squeezed his eyes shut and fought back his tears. He could feel Stolas’s hand start to shake.

“Blitz…” Stolas’s voice quivered. He sounded so far away. Blitzø looked up at him. Stolas’s face was turned away. Blitzø’s stomach churned and his chest felt like it was caving in.

“Please… I can’t take anymore…” Stolas whimpered. Blitzø could feel him shake with tears.

Fucking DAMMIT…

Blitzø choked back the tears in his throat. He could do this. He had to do this.

“For the record? I don’t think low of you AT ALL. In fact…” He swallowed hard, trying to steady his voice. “I think so fucking HIGHLY of you I’ve got you on a Satan fucking PEDESTAL!”

Stolas’s fist began to relax, but Blitzø could still feel him shaking. Or maybe that was him…

Stolas turned his face and peeked down at him.

“Wh… What?…” He choked through tears. “What do you mean?”

Blitzø felt so small. So very small, looking up into those eyes. Those fucking beautiful eyes. Eyes that shouldn’t even be looking his way. Eyes that shouldn’t be able to see into his soul. Shouldn’t make him so fucking happy. Shouldn’t make him want to die without them on him…

Blitzø tried to swallow the lump in his throat. His voice cracked.

“You’re WAY too fucking good for someone like me.” He clutched tighter to Stolas’s hand.

It was like Blitzø stung Stolas. He jerked his hand away, whipping around to face Blitzø, a look of horror and disgust on his face.

“I…” Stolas couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “ExCUSE me?!” He had to have heard Blitzø wrong.

Blitzø felt like a part of him was missing. Like Stolas had ripped off a limb when he took his hand away. His chest was caving in. He couldn’t breathe. He could feel himself spiraling. He’d fucked everything up again.

“You heard me…” Blitzø muttered. He could barely look Stolas in the eyes. But he decided-

Fuck it… In for a penny. In for a fucking pound…

“And the reason I YELL?” Blitzø clenched his fists and fought back his tears. “EVERYTHING I have. EVERYTHING I’ve earned in this life was by the skin of my teeth, kicking and screaming.”

Stolas tried to reach out to him but Blitzø raised a dismissive hand and continued.

“I don’t KNOW any other volume than a YELL or a SCREAM, Stolas. Because people like me? IMPS? The lower class… No one LISTENS unless we’re LOUD!”

Blitzø leaned back and screamed at the ceiling.

He couldn’t stop his tears any longer. So he just let them come.

“Blitz. No.” Stolas tried again to reach for him. “That can’t be-”

Blitzø glared up at him and cut him off.

“Wanna know WHY I thought you were fucking with me, Stolas?” He snapped.

Stolas worried his hands at his chest, his eyes cast down. He looked pitiful. Fuck. Blitzø wanted to hug him. But, Satan fucking dammit… Shit wasn’t that simple anymore.

“Why?” Stolas whimpered.

“Because why WOULDN’T I?” Blitzø’s voice cracked. His tears streamed down his face and pooled under his chin. “Why would I believe someone like YOU could care for someone like ME?”

Stolas stomped his foot in indignation. Why was Blitzø being like this?

“What is THAT supposed to mean?!” He huffed angrily.

“Open your EYES Stolas!” Blitzø threw his arms wide. “You’re a PRINCE! And I’m the fucking HELP!”

Blitzø tied the noose, and was ready to be hung by it.

Stolas gaped at him in horror.

“Blitz!” He reached out to him. “It’s not like that!”

“It’s exactly like that, Stolas!” Blitzø hugged himself, clutching tightly to his arms, claws digging into his skin. He looked at the floor.

“It isn’t for me… It’s never been…” Stolas wanted to reach out and touch him. Caress his face. Make him look at him and see he was sincere. But he couldn’t… He just… Couldn’t.

***

#helluva boss #stolitz #blitzø #stolas #fanfic #stolitz fanfiction #stolitz fanfic #stolitz angst #helluva boss stolitz

[fictionfixations]

wasnt planning on making a post but im doing it now so uh

helluva boss the full moon episode (i dont remember which one it was. s2 ep8?? i think? idk)

(i just realized i said 'hazbin hotel' my bad. if i make a mistake like that uhh oops)

and yall are stolas defenders so im gonna talk about blitz (dont get me wrong i love both of them)

let me talk about it

(i dont know if i make any sense so oops)

notice how during stolas' proposal basically (cant help but see the gem as like a wedding ring ngl) blitz's eyes are shining because he cant help but hope

and then when he goes 'ohh youre just fucking with me right? this is some roleplay shit right?'

because its so incomprehensible in his mind that this is what he truly thinks it is.

anyway people have explained before about how stolas then proceeds to shut him out like being faced with blitz being in denial about it and taking it as a rejection

meanwhile blitz is like 'wait a second you were SERIOUS?'

and then hes like 'wAIT' because hes trying to understand. to comprehend that stolas was being real about it. that someone wants him. but then he doesnt have the time to think about it because stolas is leaving and he doesnt want stolas to leave

and yknow how blitz is hes kind of an asshole so then he defaults to being angry and frustrated. (i wonder if he feels like he'll only be heard by being angry and yelling. or if by being angry, by shutting people out and being the one to break it off makes blitz feel more in control. anyway-)

no but listen before this hes like 'what the fuck?' stolas leaves, blitz follows him in silence still in that confused and hella surprised state because it was so unexpected while stolas' talking about stuff

hes silent for awhile (probably trying to make sense of it while half-listening)

and then stolas is like 'thats enough to know what this is' and THEN blitz gets all angry and yelling

and inside hes just like. ..thats it? but its like. stolas is going to leave. and he doesnt want him to go. but he also doesnt know how to express that (especially with stolas having completely shut him out at this point in his own feeling, so set in the rejection without realizing that blitz hadnt actually rejected it. had been in disbelief instead of an actual no. and i get why he didnt stay to continue the conversation it just. sucks. so bad.)

("Can I get a fucking minute to think" got stuck in my head) and then blitz gets angry and blames stolas because thats whose infront of him. someone he can yell at and get angry which is so much easier then trying to decipher his feelings, or stolas' feelings. to try to understand. to be vulnerable especially in front of someone who he may like but its also complicated considering the power imbalance, or how all royals are asses so surely stolas cant be different, how its just a transactional relationship and nothing serious.

hes also saying things he doesnt necessarily mean meanwhile stolas is taking it to heart like 'this is how he really feels about me' when that isnt true (blitz is kind of just making excuses. and instead of being 'set free' as it might seem to stolas, it seems to him like stolas is just. throwing him away. getting bored of him. hes ignoring the love confession stolas just says 'i want you' PLEASE be more blunt about it oh my god theres so many wordings that i have an issue with from stolas im going to be honest.

like LISTEn he goes 'i want you'. blitz is in denial. stolas then starts to acceptance/resignment and blitz is like 'wait a fucking second'

so blitz who thought they were going to have a sexy time. suddenly gets hit with feelings out of the blue. and he doesnt do good with those. and its so incomprehensible that he doesnt believe it. and then basically stolas rejects him right after with blitz realizing 'wait you were serious?' and then gets angry like 'what? no, it can't be over. ..well fuck YOU then!' like. he kind of feels betrayed? like 'how dare you spring this feelings bullshit on me (and then LEAVE)'

also is he projecting? has he experienced something??? and i really dont think hes had the chance to properly process so he's just shoving it aside and focusing on the then and now. which is stolas leaving and dismissing him which blitz takes offence to and accuses him of being like all the other royal assholes. because he doesnt know how else to communicate. this is not to say that he isnt an asshole because he is, but id like to say that theres reasons to all of it.

ALSO ALSO. i think its less that blitz believes stolas to be like that but (besides reasoning to himself that stolas is just like all the others so he can distance himself and cut ties even if it hurts) that its because thats the position stolas has and so its what he turns to for insults. i had more to say about this part but i already forgot, oops.

and ive seen people talk about this too but stolas conversing through words while blitz converses through feelings. so its like for blitz youre not meant to listen to what hes saying but to listen to the feeling? meanwhile stolas being through words (thus probably feeling like 'i want you' is explanation enough while blitz needs more clarification then that)

and potentially with stolas being all horny around him cause haha my crush is here and hes hot and i love him and aaah making blitz think stolas just wants him because of what he can offer? (and maybe if hes never faced love that its unrecognizable? especially towards him?) a thought to go onto another time

also another thought to go down. you think after blitz realizes hes serious that hes trying to coomunicate. with the 'can i get a FUCKING moment to think'

and then his mouth goes on autopilot and starts insulting him trying to stall trying to get him to stay even if its with hurtful words because thats what hes used to thats what he does (also defaulting to anger)

just like yelling at him trying to get stolas to just stop walking. to stop turning his back on him.

and hes just running on anger at that point because he didnt get too long to process that stolas was serious so a part of him still thinks that its just. not real? and hes running off of that because again its so much easier than being vulnerable with someone

blitz has. probably been very trustful of someone, only for them to betray him and hurt him and use him so ahdishfu

also probably blitz's attempt at trying to get them to actually communicate

to get him to stop. stand still. stop leaving. stop moving. just turn around, face him, and talk. to get all their feelings out and explain. to clarify.

maybe he even wants stolas to get angry because that's what he's used to. wants him to get angry so they can get it all out there. maybe wants a part of him to feel vindicated of 'he was right, stolas was an asshole', the part of him that doesnt want to be close to anyone in fear of being hurt

..and then stolas doesn't react how blitz expects him to. (because they DONT understand each other at all! they don't interact all that much outside of sex, and stolas offering it to blitz is rejected)

blitz realizing 'wait... shit...' to wheres hes immediately brought out of his anger by stolas' words

'goodbye'

also it almost sounds like blitz is saying 'Stolas, wait I'm s-' as in 'im sorry'

realizing it wasnt going as he expected it to. that stolas really was serious. that stolas was hurt. that stolas was going to actually leave and blitz. doesnt. want that to happen. so then he. tries.

and then goes 'what the fuck' when he appears outside

and honestly sometimes a lot of relationships need space from each other to realize who they are without them. and also to realize how much they care about the other, yknow? to understand their feelings without anything else complicated thrown into the mix.

listen: blitz could go back into complete denial like 'no fuck stolas actually-'. realize he misses stolas, actually.

cause i feel like he really did try at the end only to get shut out (its a really complicated situation because ive also seen people talk about how blitz yelling could remind stolas of stella(?) i think the person he divorced)

and it could be seen as rejection of him trying to do feelings talk. which he could double down on his 'no one can love you, itll only bring you hurt' idea, or bringing other people hurt (as in his mother's death or fizz getting hurt)

but i feel like he also needs time to just realize things. to think things through instead of being faced with immediately having to respond because theyre talking face to face. immediately having to respond because stolas is leaving and if he doesnt say anything then that'll be it.

its complicated. honestly, though. i feel like its for the better for them to have this break. to rebuild their life without the transactional relationship. i just wonder how they'll get back together (daughter plotting time? maybe?)

i wonder if hell has therapy. (...but also. what if the therapists were corrupt and didnt hold any form of patient privacy???)

hh

anyway i dont know if i made sense. ive just had these thoughts stuck in my head so ive just been spewing out all the ones related to this so i could stop thinking about it

a;sp a;sp o hjavej oirhfrj

holyfuck ok

also also i have more to add

okay so you know stolas' line of 'you have no obligation to touch me or to bed me'

you know what that sounded like with loona having told blitz 'hes getting tired of you'

it sounded like stolas didnt want blitz to basically touch him anymore. which is probably blitz' interpretation of it and thus his anger of 'you think you can do this shit just because im an imp and youre a royal?' or whatever (hes not even touching the fact of the gem. its 'am i not good enough? i can do better!' because the book was the only reason in his mind why he could interact with stolas. and just. aghhh)

any more thoughts im shoving here in the future before i get more brainrot over this

#helluva boss #thoughts #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss full moon #full moon episode #helluva boss the full moon #hb spoilers #blitz #blitzø #blitzo #helluva boss blitz #helluva blitz #stolas #helluva boss season 2 #stolas goetia

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ya know how I said Gabriel descends further into villain from Origins to Miracle Queen?

Ironically Marinette seems to go through a similar thing, or reveal more facets to her character that are less paragon but its very much by accident.

I like Marinette, but the fact this stuff never seems to get acknowledge or addressed both ends up hurting the story & in the fandom it makes it hard to discuss without being perceived as a salter or apologist, ETC.

Like, bear with me.

Season 1 Mari is basically fine, she's good, heroic, any flaws she has are fairly minor but some could be taken as 'hints' for later while still not being an issue.

Like her meticulous Adrien schedule could literally just be info she picked up associating with him that she wrote down. A little odd but not like, terrible, terrible.

Her sabotaging Bubbler's music is certain an irresponsible use of her powers but its far from the most irresponsible a hero is with a Miraculous & she is fourteen and people/protaganists can be flawed.

& her tear down of Lila, but she seemed to realize she went too far & tried to apologize. & after a point Lila staying out of school because of it starts to feel less like a Marinette issue & more a Lila (Or Gabriel) issue.

Season 2

We start to see some other potential issues emerging here, but they can still be rationalized away.

Chat being left to fend for himself is her having faith in her partner & she is going to get help.

Adrien being kept in the dark is more Fu's deal than Mari's & she is the one who presses him to bring Chat in.

Her decision to make Chloe QB again does paint a target on her back & could be tied to Adrien or rank pragmatism, but she does seem to make a genuine effort to sympathize, so at worse the target is an accident.

Less justifiable but still explain-able is encouraging Chloe's mean-ness so she can bond with her mother being a poorly thought out attempt to getting them to bond & assuming it will make them better.

The lack of follow through when the opposite happens does feel like its an issue but one can see why a kid mightn't make the connection.

Using Chloe on Heroes' Day is again, explain-able, IE it does paint a target on her back but shit was indeed dire.

The real red flag so to speak is her reaction to Kagami.

IE characterizing her as an evil witch& only stamping down on her interpretation to benefit Adrien, not because she realized that was wrong.

IE, Kagami's done 0 to warrant such a negative view of her & there isn't really a positive way to spin this one as just good intentions gone awry, someone else's fault or an accident.

Season 3

This is when it all comes home to roost so to speak.

With Kagami this comes in deliberate attempts to sabotage or even embrass and sabotage her. This continues even after Marinette realizes Kagami is actually a nice if lonely girl and befriends her.

But it gets worse because even if Kagami's ID wasn't known to the public (Though it makes sense that it is) the dialogue still acknowledges Hawk Moth knows!

She is painting a target on her friends back wile sabotaging her date!

There isn't really a good way to explain this one, which might be why I know some fics basically seem to outright pretend it didn't happen.

Meanwhile with Chloe the lack of follow through issue becomes text.

IE, she paints a target on Chloe's back by using her twice in short succession, then ghosts her even though its clear Chloe's trying to communicate with her.

Even if attacks weren't happening near her home this would be bad.

But when finally pushed into acting on this reality, the second its convenient to use Chloe in combat again she does so. Making it loud and clear to Hawk Moth that if the situation is dire, he knows where to get the Bee Miraculous & its wielder.

This is a big issue because unlike "Making Chloe a better person" which in universe is not Marinette's job. As the person who gives out Miraculous, as the leader she has in fact made herself responsible for what happens to Chloe in regards to Miraculous business.

She can't abdicate on that one except maybe to Fu who also damn well should have known better.

Which leaves the story with Marinette willingly putting two people into danger and using them opportunistically either out of rank pragmatism or for outright selfish reasons. Then just like, not acknowledging the risks or consequences, with one of these people even being her friend.

It makes her come off as ether a lot more cold, or a lot more out of touch with the consequences of her actions than almost anyone else.

Neither of which get acknowledged in the narrative so as before, it becomes hard to even talk about without being seen as smearing the character or being unfair. Or like you just need to ignore these traits even if the story no longer works because of it and Marinette ironically becomes a less interesting character.

Cos like, a Marinette who can become extremely, even ruthlessly pragmatic the moment she needs too. Or one who is genuinely that taken away with her crush that its effecting her morality to the point where she can become harmful. Those are interesting ideas to explore!

They don't make her like, more evil than Hawk Moth or whatever, & if handled well could prove really interesting. Especially as they could parallel Gabriel's behaviors in regards to Adrien and others. Thus letting him be a sort of "Oh shit, is this who I could grow into in twenty years if I had money/power & zero people to check me?" villain.

But instead even noting it seems discouraged in most of the popular sphere's, or worse and well, we know the show doesn't take issue with it.

See it's.

I do love this about her and find it fascinating! As a character in a piece of fiction, I mean. I don't /want/ her to make these decisions, but /on paper/ I'm eating popcorn as I watch it unfold.

A lot of this does stem from Marinette's black and white mentality and overall being naive. Everything is all or nothing with her.

Sometimes this comes across in her thinking of people as good or bad. While she tries, it's hard for her to think of Chloé as 'good' and it's hard for her to understand that even if Chloé wants to change, it takes a lot of time and isn't just flipping a switch.

And while there's past precedent with Chloé, this shows up again with Lila. She never entertains the idea that Lila may just be lying for attention because she's bad at making friends. Lila is lying and lying is bad so clearly she's a manipulative bitch that deserves to be publicly humiliated! Like with Chloé, she may back down for a moment when called out like what Adrien did, but it doesn't last long.

Kagami is the eventual progression into twisting things. She's not overly friendly and sweet and social, but she /is/ in competition with Marinette for Adrien's affections. So she twists the idea that Kagami must be an awful person, despite doing literally nothing, and deserves what Mari does to her. And while she does befriend Kagami and feels some guilt, I think a combination of 'this is for True Love™' and not wanting to admit that she was a jerk and wrong makes her keep sabotaging her.

And it's a similar thing with her actions as Ladybug.

At first it's things that make sense: trusting Chat to do what he can on his own with little information, just like they've been doing for all of Season 1.

Then she gets Fu telling her that things are too risky for anyone else to know. So she doesn't tell Chat things. Because Fu is an Adult™ and their guide in all this, so ofc he's right even if Marinette thinks otherwise at first. And this is hammered in with Chat Blanc and Ephemeral. If Chat knows more, things get fucked.

And then we get Marinette justifying keeping secrets for the Greater Good™. Whether it just be not telling Chat anything, or lying to all of Paris to make sure Adrien never finds out his father is a complete fucking asshole. Secrets are good. She's doing the right thing by keeping them so that it doesn't hurt anyone. If he knew things would go to hell.

In theory I find all this fascinating! But while there's been a hiccup here or there, usually caused by Adrichat going 'girl what the FUCK?!', on the whole the narrative chooses to see this as the good and right thing rather than a flaw that Marinette needs to overcome.

[royalberryriku]

// personal, uuuh kind of a vent but idk? Maybe more of just a general ask to the void of whoever happens to read it; How Does Friendship-ing Work? And the whole Is This Normal Or Just A Me Thing with this social thing that could be normal or may be not normal.

I know it's relatively normal for people to just grow apart or for friendships to break away based on one drama or another, but I've noticed recently that it's just... Really common for people I've met to eventually have some issue either someone else and for groups I'm in to break apart really easily, even like regardless of me being there or not I mean. It's happened quite a lot and I wonder if it's just me, "people these days" as in just how friends are in modern society with internet and all the expectations from it, or if it's actually normal?

Does anyone else have experience with that? As in, a reoccurring thing where people in friend groups you are in have some sort of drama between a few people which leads to everyone never talking again or falling out regardless of whether or not you're involved or even knew of said drama?

For example, I had this group of friends I talked to a lot online (we were a part of a larger group) and we ended up becoming really close but eventually people in that group had their own issues with each other and everyone stopped socialising because things got awkward for those who weren't involved. Like, this exact this I've found is weirdly common for me, a lot of friend groups I've been in have had this happen to some degree and idk how to approach it? It probably doesn't help that I'm really bad at social stuff and knowing when I'm oversharing or being too quiet or saying stuff that's socially inappropriate (like saying or asking stuff that is insensitive but you don't realise until after you've said it that it was pushy or too much), or understanding when people want you to shut up or when they want you to step in or anything in between. Basically, I'm just lost on all this and still trying to understand if this is A Normal Social Thing That Happens to Groups of People A Bunch, or if it's a unique issue or... Idk.

Basically! I don't really know how to address this happening yet again or who in said friend group I should even speak to if at all? Like do you just leave it and wait for people to short out their own stuff, or would that be considered you being a bad and neglectful friend?? Would involving yourself make you nosy? Or would it be seen as you being caring? Would backing off being the better option? Would talking to certain people make others thing you're betraying them and picking sides??? I literally can never tell what thing is the Right Social Thing™ to do so I just kinda either sit there and wait, trying not to make anything worse, or ask around and see if at least showing that I genuinely mean well and care helps at all (sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't and makes stuff worse, but so does the former sometimes). Also. I do have this thing where I speak without thinking and make things worse before I get to that part which probably makes this even harder because people probably are already feeling horrible from whatever stuff happened between them and when you know nothing at all, you don't know how tf to act. Or what to say or do or anything at all really.

For now, I'm gonna keep writing my stories, reading my books and doing my best but damn. Is there some sort of?? idk?? A way to avoid this stuff or is it normal or what?? Again, idk.

#personal #vent #or well #vent kinda?? #how do y'all do friendships bc I'm so damn lost on how to read Social Cues or how to act “”“appropriately”“” so maybe all I CAN do is just.. #give people space and say “I'm here for you” and hope that's enough #“Gee I don't know what happened or if someone did something legit really hurtful or mean or if You were the one who did so but good luck?” #or “damn sounds like a lot of misunderstandings I hope you all find a way to patch things up??” #as if any of that is right or ok to say or helpful or like idk #I don't know anything and I can't help so I can only try to not come to any assumptions on anything #like if something Bad Happened or just a friendly mistake or a bit of both or neither Idek and I love everyone in these groups each time #so idk how to approach the idea that someone I love hates someone else I love #never been good at that and I esp struggle because I don't know what to say to said people because usually they don't want you to be Neutral #but what else CAN you do but just not decide based on the fact you have no clue what's going on or who's right or who's telling the truth #You can only really just be compassionate while giving them space as they're hurting #and then not know what to do as people stop talking altogether #which is kinda sad and lonely but what else do ppl do in these situations like how can you be helpful without ending up being pushy or nosey #or just...make people feel like shit without meaning to #god relationships are Hard