#if i ever actually write more of my ocs....and get enough courage to post an original work on ao3..... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

speedofsoundsketches · 1 year

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I like you’re shadow and jolt comic giving me insperstion to create my own comic with my oc and shadow tbh I pictured my oc and shadow doing the same as shadow and jolt which is giving me courage to do my own comic with them fancomic obviously but do you have any tips on how development of a comic would work how long did it take for you to plan the comic

I've been working on this comic for about five years this coming November. From the start of developing the story to when the first comics were posted, it was about a three or four month long period of early development.

To be honest, I'm never NOT developing the comic. Each update is sort of treated as a self-contained session and while I have a plan of how everything connects, you don't really know how it'll actually work out until you're making the pages themselves and piecing the puzzle pieces together to make it all coherent. If you go to my Patreon, you'll see all the raw, first drafts of my comics and how much they changed in the final pages.

The following are my personal tips but I highly recommend also reading this post by the creator of Lackadaisy on the same subject. I followed her example for my work a lot and thankfully she's open about her secrets. :)

Tip #1: Know what your End Goal is for your comic

A lot of eager hopefuls start with a strong passion for their stories and it seems clear in your head how it will pan out. Over time, your interest starts to dwindle, passion is replaced with procrastination, writer's block occurs and you wonder why this thing you loved so much has become a total chore.

This is often due to not knowing the overall POINT to making your comic at all. What's the theme? The message? What do you and your audience GET out of it?

Shadow and Jolt has a clear progression and ending in mind that all relates to the Themes and Messages I want to impart to my readers. Try dissecting your favorite Sonic stories (or any story in general) and analyze why you like them and what made them impactful to you. Determine their themes and messages then observe how each part of the story, character arcs and such were written to serve them. What were the creators trying to tell you or make you experience?

That's the difference between a story with intention versus one that's confused or directionless. Because even during writer's block, if you know what message you're trying to tell, it gives you a lighthouse to paddle towards and keep you from getting lost in the ocean of vague notions.

Tip #2: Script It Out!

Before I ever drew a single comic for Shadow and Jolt, the first thing I did to help me develop a more solid plan was to write scripts. Some were fully realized with dialogue and action sequences. Others were outlines to help me see the full picture from beginning to end.

I've written over 30 different scripts. Many are just a few pages each but some are about 50+ pages.

And guess what? Every single one of them STINK.

These are not my best work because they don't need to be. They're meant for playing around with character dialogues, motivations, relationships and manner of speech. If a script resonates with me enough, I'll try doing a draft of it in comic form to see how it feels on paper and continue tweaking things from there. It was such a horribly cliche story at first but it's ok because to determine what's wrong, I need to see it actually in front of me and not as some ethereal mess of images in my mind.

Tip #3: Gather, Research and Conceptualize

I cannot stress enough how much doing this has helped with this project.

References I used included the games I liked the most, their production history, interviews with Sonic Team, compiled images/inspirations I found around the internet, etc. I used all this material to strengthen the ideas I had so I could start drawing concepts.

Characters, vehicles, environments.... everything and anything gets concepts. Lots of sketches, sometimes with color. I've possibly gone through almost 10+ sketchbooks for just Shadow and Jolt alone. There were a lot of things that needed testing and fleshing out, especially because it's such a big project. (and I'm just one little ol' me ;-;)

From the beginning, the plan was that Shadow and Jolt would be based on the games so my research was spent digging into the entire timeline and reminding myself of what the games are about and how to capture their essence as close as I can. I'm not sure what setting you plan to base this story on but you'll have a different set of research to do if you plan to include things from something else like Archie, Boom or whatever.

Tip #4: BEWARE SCOPE CREEP

In game development, teams start by deciding on the full scope of the project and settle on what's going to be in the game. The team makes projections on how long it'll take to complete it, set deadlines and then move to act on it.

A few weeks into production, maybe you decide to add a new animated action for the main character. Maybe then you add in a new weapon that will require another full move set to program and animate. Maybe you want to add a new character that you came up with during lunch. Maybe you have a whole extra side quest that adds a whole new plot point that adds even MORE characters who all have unique functions and animations you'll have to make-

See how quickly that can happen? That's scope creep. You start adding way more than was initially planned, thus it ends up extending the time it takes to actually finish the project.

Obviously, it's less dire than a product meant for sale but the lessons are the same. With any changes you make, be mindful of how that's going to effect you getting the story done and if it even really adds anything to your End Goal.

Remember, you only have so much energy in a given day to dedicate to your comic. Manage it wisely!

Tip #5: Live life!

This is a bit of an odd one maybe but for me at least, it's super valuable.

I've mentioned in previous posts how real world experiences helped inspire my comic. Part of what makes Sonic's world feel so lived in is the dedication the team put into making each level feel that way! Sonic Unleashed is maybe the best example of this point. I feel that Sonic was made by people who not only wanted to make a fun game series but who use it to celebrate the actual act of adventure. Living life, seeing new sights, meeting new people, eating unique cuisine, you catch my drift!

Some of my best ideas came from having a lived experience. You won't be able to write authentic stories staying in a bubble of your own making. Outside of my fancomic, I like going on long walks, exploring places or simply hanging out with my friends. So my final suggestion for you is to live a full life and be inspired by it! Nothing beats reality anyway. :)

#art help #Shadow and Jolt #fancomic #comic #Sonic #thoughts #asks #ramble #webcomics #advice

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a-non-ymouswriter · 2 years

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Commissions! (Writing & Art)

After months of thinking about it and gradually working up the courage to finally doing it. I AM FINALLY DOING COMMISSIONS! I’ve always wanted to try it out and also save up for a few things; a new mouse, a new headset, maybe a game for my birthday. But at any rate! Here we are!

What kind of commissions do I do? I do both WRITING and ART commissions. I’m more confident over writing to be honest but I’d like to think that I’m good enough to do art commissions, and both will give me the experience to learn more about them.

Since this is the first time I’ve ever done this, my prices are actually quite low I’m told. However I will not haggle them down, you will not bargain the price with me I am set with the pricing.

SO! HERE IS THE COMMISSION PRICES! I’m using the USD currency!

Writing Commissions: [ NO SLOTS OPEN! ] 1 USD per 1,000 words AKA; 1,000 words = 1$ 2,000 words = 2$ 3,000 words = 3$ Etc.

I am limiting each commission to 10k words only, so 10$ is the maxed out price. And I’ll be charging an extra dollar for any fandom involved! So the total will be AT LEAST 11$ max if you’re not involving any extra stuff like gore and NSFW.

THAT’S RIGHT I WILL ALSO WRITE SMUT FOR AN EXTRA 3 DOLLARS TOTALING TO 13$ BUCKS MAX IF YOU WANT.

WILL DO: WON’T DO: Gore Incest NSFW Pedophilia Angst Fics Involving Snuff and Rape Character Death Frankly Anything That’ll Make Me Uncomfortable

Now what fandom will I write for? Anything that I’m familiar with really. I’m even willing to go with unfamiliar fandoms as long as I get the gist, do a little research, or get the lay down on the characters involved and stuff. I’m also willing to do Original Content, aka; I WILL WRITE YOUR OCS DOING STUFF. No extra charge.

Commissioning for: 1. CLOSED - @theeclipticarts 2. CLOSED - @waldorkler 3. CLOSED

Now For the Art Commissions: [ One (1) Slot Open! ]

I wanted to make a fourth page about backgrounds but this post is getting long enough. I’m only making simple backgrounds at the moment, I’m not that confident in my background art skills to do anything else. A sketched background with line art is just an extra 1$, but a fully finished one is 2$.

HOWEVER UNLIKE THE WRITING, I WILL NOT DRAW ANY NSFW WORKS. I’m okay with my drawing but I’m NOT that confident in my drawing skills to try THAT out. But blood and gore is still a possibility though.

Commissioning For: 1. CLOSED 2. CLOSED 3. OPEN

How to contact and pay me: DM me here and we’ll start talking.

I’m only accepting payment through my Ko-Fi. Yes, my old Ko-Fi account that I made like, a year ago but never got round to using fully until now. After the commissions, I’ll try to revamp my Ko-Fi account.

Where will I post/give this to you:

You got two options, I post it (any commissions be it writing or art) here on my tumblr or I email it to you. We can do both if you’d like.

In any case, I hope you all take it easy on me because this is my first time doing this. And if all goes well I’ll be doing MORE of this in the future. Please, thanks, and I hope you all have a nice time.

#Non post #THIS IS IMPORTANT #Commissions #Open Commissions #this is my first time doing this #im hoping for the best

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greetingsapartment · 1 year

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my very very very long introduction to the welcome home fandom + set of rules

hello everyone!!!!!!

i got into welcome home a little while ago now, and i have finally gotten enough courage to put my headcanons and writing out into the world! and of course, you can request! (when the askbox is open ^_^ of course!!) i do have a few obvious or not-so-obvious rules though, as per every blog! rules below the cut :) it's long!

you CAN; ✦ ask for '(character) and reader'! it is the only thing i specialize in after all on this particular blog lolol, types of pairings that that i don't do are in my 'cannot' section, and if your idea is not there, dm me and i'll see if i can do it! :o) ✦ if you guys have anything in particular you'd like to share, i would love to hear it! i encourage it!! i like hearing everybody's ideas on things! personal headcanons, ideas or thoughts on a character or two, it's all a-okay with me! you can even ask me what i think on a character @:) ✦ ask for fluff, some light angst, hurt/comfort, go wild with it! headcanons galore!!!!!! ✦ ask more than once!

✦ just send silly stuff into my askbox LOL, try not to blow it up though!! you CANNOT;

✢ ask for NSFW, incest, or anything of the like. the first of which (NSFW), clown themself has prohibited because they're not 100% sure if they're comfortable with it yet, and the rest of it is just a blatant, heavy no. ✢ ask for anything on gore or anything TOO heavy on a dark subject. please DM me if you're curious what goes over the line, it's just that i am a person too! sorry if this disappoints!! :( ✢ ask for anything other than GN reader. sorry :( i just prefer to stick with GN as it applies to everybody who might pass by my post, and if they decide to read it, i want it to apply to them!

✢ ask for oc/character :( again, i'm sorry! there's nothing wrong with that kinda stuff, i've just never been too good at it, as i don't know much about your oc! established characters have always just been easier for me, but i could change this in the future! ✢ ask for character/character yet! it's still undecided for me as i'm not quite sure how everybody feels on some ships, as even when all some ships are completely normal, the shipping discourse is REAL across every fandom.

✢ ask for frank x reader (romantic) or eddie x reader (romantic), sorry to all frank and eddie simps out there💔just not my place! extra info i will have to update my set of rules and the characters i will write for as time goes on, as new information will inevitably come out, and my writing may be TOTALLY out of character as well! but this blog is simply for fun, and as time goes on, things will change :) and i will adapt accordingly! if i get anything wrong about the characters, please do inform me in DMs! i will resolve the issue as quickly as possible, and make an attempt to edit, or delete the posts in the worst case scenario! i do keep myself updated on them to the best of my abilities, but sometimes i will miss things! even if it is something small, do not hesitate to inform me that that character actually HATES that food, or dislikes being around that kind of weather! and please link me to the source of the info you found if possible, or try to direct me better to it! if and when i receive a request for a reader with any disability or condition, i will try to write it the best i can, even if i do not personally have it or have ever experienced anything like it. if there is anything i can do to improve on my writing with certain subjects, DM me! i will take whatever you give and do my best to include it :) please do not criticize me too heavily for my writing skills. i am still improving on it as we go along, so try to hold back on anything like that! i am not the fastest at getting requests done, but i will definitely try, and i am hoping life doesn't get too busy! if the askbox is closed, do note that it is probably because i have at least 5 or more requests in it, and i need to sort through them, and take my time! or i may just want to write for myself atm! i hope that is reasonable :) i am a HUGE julie fan, if you request for her i am more likely to leave a huge chunk bitten out of my monitor and have eaten all the key caps to my keyboard with only the letters "J U L I" and "E" left. i love writing for julie LOL 😭😭😭 that is it, from what i know! do what you will with all of this, and enjoy yourself, neighbor!!!!!

#welcome home #welcome home x reader #gender neutral reader #wally darling x reader #julie joyful x reader #and more!!!#i forgot how to do rule posts so sorry if this is way too long lol #just wanna be precise!

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lessthanconventional · 1 year

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Welcome to my Kinkblr!

Kinks You'll Find Here:

Stuffing

Stomachaches

Belly rubs

Tummy noises

Burping

Liquid bloats

Soft feedism

Mild weight gain/fat admiration

Kinks You Won't Find Here:

Scat/Eprocto

Pregnancy/Breeding

Nonconsensual force feeding

My Writing

I cycle sporadically between various WIPs, mostly about original characters. On the happy occasion I actually finish a story, I usually post it to my Pillowfort and AO3 and share links here.

Speaking of Pillowfort…

I can't recommend Pillowfort.social enough if you're in the market for an independent, user-funded, NSFW-welcoming social media site. They just came out with a rolling wait list a la AO3, but if you don't wanna wait, you can send me an ask off anon or message me for an account key. 🗝️

My Sideblogs

t-kiss is my sideblog project for tummy kink self-ship; check it out if that's your jam and maybe submit something for you and your F/Os!

unconventionalselfships is my personal t-kiss blog for gushing about my obscure F/Os.

unconventionalafterdark is where I put steamier content and real-life kink. (Basically it's a catch-all for anything that feels like "too much" for my main blog. 😅)

Current Projects (indexes coming soon!)

Whiskey And Ice Cream/WAIC: An ongoing series of self-indulgent stories centered around charming sugar daddy feeder Dustin, his adorable sugar baby-turned-boyfriend feedee Adam, and their glamorous feeder FWB Angel.

A Meeting of Minds/AMOM (WIP): A plotty kink series exploring my original urban fantasy universe and the queerplatonic found family that inhabits it. If you like the fantastic stories by @ginger-and-mint and @tiny-loves-rubs then this will be right up your alley.

The Tummy Date, aka Dirk & Vanessa (WIP): An experimental story of intentional kink that started out as a love letter to my favorite fic of the same name on StomachacheCafe (may it rest in peace). I love the OCs that came from it enough that I'll probably end up writing more for them. Set in the same universe as WAIC.

Wild Mountain Honey (WIP): More self-indulgent goodness centered around a bear shifter named Orson, the small mountain town he calls home, and his love interest Jia, a burnt out big city lawyer who's inexplicably attracted to Orson's big appetite. This is still in its early development stages, but the eventual goal is more or less kinky supernatural romance meets Hallmark movie. Set in the same universe as AMOM.

Kinky Blorbo Micro Manifestos

Ask me about any of these if you want exuberant infodumps and hyperspecific headcanons. Pretty much all of these have at least one back-burner plot bunny attached to them.

John Pope and Sara from Falling Skies: Pope is my blorbo to end all blorbos, the bright star on my horizon, my #1 t-kiss F/O. Sara is his kick-ass girlfriend, one of my favorite female characters ever, and someone I'm working up the courage to also make my t-kiss F/O. He's a trigger-happy berserker who's also a chef and eats more times on-camera than anyone else on the show, she's a plucky former graphic designer who asked him for Pringles at gunpoint—need I say more?

Nick Burkhardt and Sean Renard from Grimm (TV): The stars of the first kinky fanfic I ever felt brave enough to actually post online (which I will continue Someday™). I low-key ship them and Adalind in a kinky OT3. Sean x Cheesecake 4ever (based on an outtake that would've been memed in a larger fandom).

Pete Latimer and Myka Bering from Warehouse 13: This show is best known for its amazing and tragically non-canon femslash ship, Bering and Wells, but y'all, we are sleeping on Pete. He had as much kinky canon material (proportionally at least) as a certain gruff-voiced monster-hunter, right down to a signature favorite dessert, and he may have his flaws but his masculinity is a hell of a lot healthier overall. Meanwhile, Myka is a canonical stress eater with a canonical sweet tooth and a canonical best friend/partner (Pete) who's always trying to get her to relax. Pyka was queerplatonic and I will die on that hill.

Batman/Bruce Wayne and Catwoman/Selina Kyle from Batman: The Animated Series: I've had a long-time crush on TAS Batman, and tummying him is the inevitable result of that. It's practically canon that BatCat is some flavor of kinky, so Selina talking Bruce into self-care via feedism doesn't seem like much of a stretch to me. I'm also 100% down for kinky WonderBat and/or WonderBatCat.

The Leverage OT3 (Eliot Spencer, Alec Hardison, and Parker): I'm still working my way past season one, but I have already made it my life's sidequest to believably tummy these three in various ways. Eliot's a hobbyist chef in desperate need of R&R, Hardison's hacker snacking provides endless windows of opportunity, and Parker has a major sweet tooth and zero inhibitions.

Flip from Slumberland (2022): Y'all. Y'all. I am feral over this man. A goofy outlaw and reluctant father played by Jason Momoa with fangs and a clingy T-shirt who carries snacks in his pockets and spends half the movie touching his belly is illegally tailored to my interests. Also the movie was hilarious and adorable and gave me feels and you should watch it.

#pinned post #info post #belly kink

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giomagnetism · 2 years

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8, 20, 30 for art asks 🗿

meme link 🎨

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in?

i’m really having to wrack my brain for this one because i don’t think i’ve got any, at least not to do with marlo. i’m still half-invested in writing his fic but for the most part, and i swear to god i’ll do that ‘the other side of paradise’ animatic someday, but apart from that i don’t entertain myself with the delusion that i’d actually get it done :’)

the other stuff all belongs to lapsed interests! i had this enormously elaborate post-canon universe for the four swords, the type where i worldbuilt a new dark world / evolution of the twilight realm / parallel to lorule out of whole cloth. or tried to, at least. i was like, twelve, so... (the gist was rolling back shadow link’s slapdash excuse of a redemption arc, making him “king” of the dark world, but really a puppet for the Secret Banished Fourth Goddess—the tetraforce is a fun idea, sue me—so she could like. get her revenge or whatever. i’m still fond of the idea to name her ‘ikana’ though, like the place in majora’s mask.)

nothing came of it, but i still have fsa lore memorized front to back & shadow link has his own little niche in my heart 🖤 the first chunk was structured like an actual zelda game from the links’ pov, with a bunch of macguffins and items to find, then an intermission, and then a more traditional fantastical story following shadow link trying to restore light/balance to hyrule while the actual four swords are separated. (admittedly, i don’t like to ship the links, but you’ll pry the green/shadow dynamic in this timeline from my cold, dead hands.)

ok that’s enough infodumping if you want to know more about this universe. just ask

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

OLDER FOLKS/DIFFERENT FACES!!! i don’t know if a whole lot of folks find it hard—in fact i would argue it really isn’t—and some do it a lot better than me, but IMO they’re way more fun and interesting to draw than the same “pretty face” template another dozen times. i do not care about your skinny slim-face button-nose bishie-boy oc. give me a big nose, imperfect teeth, particular lip shapes, different facial proportions, smile lines and crow’s feet! they’re so pleasing and fun and create that extra distinctive Flavor, and it’s just better character design to implement those type of things.

i’m never not gonna have more fun and be prouder of the end result when i’ve got to draw a character that presses the definition of ‘attractive’. marlo is way handsomer than i ever intended to make them, but a lot of that’s from their more unique features and how much i love drawing them. and like, i’m not joking. over half my non-fandom artfight bookmarks are weird old guys (gender-neutral). i love it (also i think machinery would be really fun to draw but i haven’t had the courage to give it a shot)

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

i could list a lot, tbh. my art is fantastic. marlo’s outfit meme got plenty of notes, but i love it to death. that tango redesign i did got an eighth of the old version’s notes and i’ll die mad about it. this sango-themed one with the fun perspective. that valentine’s art i did and stare at sometimes because it’s just plush. that tits-out marlo moping in their penthouse i never finished. OR MY STICKER FOR THE NSBSZINE’S CONTEST. marlo glaring over their shoulder asmr. and though it is now an entire year old i’ll never forget how hard i fought for those 20 notes on that full scene of nori in octo valley

#inbox #melonandcoconut #THANK UUUUUUUUUU #also i act like a brat about engagement but i am not the least bit ungrateful #sry if this is incoherent (again) i am really tired lol

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sesamestreep · 2 years

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Fanfiction writing asks: 8, 36, 42, 68, 72!

#8: Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

With the right person, Microsoft PowerPoint can be its own love language.

#36: What fic are you proudest of?

okay, not to be super self-important or whatever, but i think it would have to be stack the deck with wild cards. maybe i am just thinking about it because of the current clusterfuck in the us over roe v. wade, but i’m genuinely proud to have written a story that casts abortion in a neutral/positive light (not that i’m conflating writing my little story with political action or anything!!) and i had so many wonderful conversations about that with people in the comments and i felt that it came out exactly the way i wanted it to. it also was my first experience with writing multi-chapter fic and i posted all of it the week of my birthday and it was an amazing experience overall. i just think that that story is emblematic of the kind of writer i want to be all the time.

#42: What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

this feels like cheating because i take all of my titles from song lyrics, so i don’t really come up with them, but i guess if i had to choose it would be how many acres, how much light, which gets its title from the song “Mushaboom” by Feist. i very rarely pick a title for a fic and stick with it (i usually go through three to five ideas for every single one before just giving up and picking the most recent idea when it’s time to publish), but for this one i was determined to finish the fic because i knew i wanted to use that specific lyric as the title. that song means so much to me, with its message of looking forward to all the joys that will come your way in the future even if they're not here yet, and i was delighted to have an excuse to use it for something. i also just think it suits that fic perfectly.

#68: Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

i mean, i’ve read so many great fics in my life, across like hundreds of fandoms, lots of which have inspired me or informed my writing in some way, but to avoid writing the longest answer possible, i’ll stick with just one example. basically anything @kaikamahine has ever written has made me want to be a better writer, but i reference maisie makes a deal constantly. it’s outsider POV, which is so hard to write (i still haven’t gotten up the courage to try it myself) and elizabeth does it so so well that i honestly wanted to just keep hanging out with her OCs at the end, forget about captain america and [reads smudged ink on hand]…. binky?? is that his name?? the way she writes is so lyrical that her prose feels like poetry, it’s so economical and gut-punchy. it makes me want to take more risks when i write and go for the imagery when it feels right and just trust the readers to follow, which i think is good advice for writers. also her fic probability engine was so good that i spent a whole week trying to think of a comment i could leave to express how much i loved it and how much it kicked my ass and instead i would just get too emotional about it all over again and need to sit down and i just never actually left a comment (sorry, elizabeth!!) …this is the short answer to this question, if you can believe that.

#72: What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

someone once commented on stack the deck (linked above) that they’d read each of the chapters (which i was posting daily) as they got ready to go back to college and that it had helped distract them and kept them from getting stressed out, and that has always stuck with me. i think the best we can hope for of the things we make and choose to share with others is that they can function as a metaphorical hand reaching out to provide comfort or solidarity or even just recognition. my reach in this space (and in the world in general) feels/is very small but with that comment, that person let me know that it was enough to reach them, and to be there for them when they needed someone, even in some small way. that made me so happy and it still cheers me up to think about now.

#this spoiler will be disappointing to you zainab because you have read most of that scene already #sorry #this got very tender and emotional I’m sorry for that too #thank you for the questions 💖💖💖#ask #firstelevens #writing ask game #homelywenchsociety #i realize maybe the compliment question was supposed to be more concrete compliments #But this is my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me about one of my fics #so it felt like the right move

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nuclearforest · 2 years

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7, 16,17 and 27 for the author asks please!

Hey ty for the ask! (I HIT POST INSTEAD OF EDIT DRAFT lmao I'm sorry) I do like sharing little bits and pieces quite a bit and maybe 16 and 17 will help me drum up a few ideas, even if the dopamine trail shifts from writing back to games for a bit lol.

7. The headcanons/stories I am proudest of:

Without question I have to say I am proudest of One Dog Night. It's the first thing I was really courageous enough to share after years of lurking and I am absolutely flattered that it was enjoyed by so many people. It's also got more depth then I probably could have ever packed into anything else lol.

A close second is a Month to Love a Werewolf because that's the first actual chapter story I've ever finished. I have this lovely habit of starting, writing a ton, and then never finishing. Sometimes I'll stumble back to my old unposted work for nostalgia reasons and I get disappointed with myself. It's worse than falling in love with fanfic that's never finished because you yourself are a fool that could still finish it and yet never will lol.

Also makes me want to rewrite a much earlier work of mine with some more updated headcanons just because I do want an OC of mine to eventually see the light if day. Even if they change with the wind.

16. Fanfic tropes I avoid:

I try to avoid sad things, tbh. I make myself sad enough and spend way too much time thinking about why I am the way I am, so usually I don't do tragic stuff. No inescapable fate, no powerlessness in the face of circumstances, and no long-term unpleasant stuff.

Mad respect to those who can write and read that stuff en masse, but I'm very easily emotionally burnt lol. Closest I'll get to tragic things is usually slapping somebody with a sad backstory or some short term discomfort.

17. Fanfic tropes I gravitate towards:

I love happy and silly stuff. Hit me with the fluff and the unconditional love. Werewolves are good for that because you got love at first sight with the whole imprinting thing. And then you can get accidentally biologically married if you get a bit too passionate your first time together. And then with werewolves in general there are a lot of goofy dog stereotypes and gags to chase.

I'm sitting here looking at tropes and I'm just thinking about finding a way to do "and there was only one bed" or one of those little "saved from a monster by an even bigger monster" that you then decide to woo because come on. Perfectly good spouse material.

At least I have plenty of options on my list of ideas to write. If you wanna share some cute thoughts 👀👀

27. What time of day do I like to write?

If I'm awake it's fair game. If I'm not working, my days are usually unstructured. I have absolutely no obligations to anything (intentionally; really wish I could travel rn but is what it is) so it's all fair game. When I do write though, it usually turns into a constant affair from start to finish. If I put it down, the chances raise that it won't get finished lol. Personal fault there, maybe.

#mun rambles

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uwuch9n · 3 years

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hey person !! today i'll be writing some 2AM sugawara fluff because i'm bored and not tired :D hope u enjoy reading !

characters: sugawara & nb y/n (self insert or oc)

warnings or possible triggers: hands are touched, making out, neck being grabbed (not aggressively!!,) suga and y/n both tear up, goosebumps, a confession, & hugging ! please do not continue reading if any of these things could trigger any unwanted reactions ! maybe the next time i write some fluff or sfw fanfics you’ll be able to read ‘em !

picnic date after practice.

you watch sugawara, asahi, and daichi all laughing and messing around after practice, while kageyama and hinata do their gay little thing. you've been watching them play for the longest time, cheering them on in the crowd, and now that you're in the official karasuno volleyball team, you can't even believe how pretty sugawara actually is up close. or how good they cooperate in the team, that too. sugawara caught your attention the most though, and you knew exactly what it was. his beautiful smile and his soothing voice. though he's never actually talked to you as anything more than a teammate, you felt as though he was just.. special.

of all the boys in the volleyball team, or even in the entirety of karasuno, sugawara was the one you really would like to know the most.

that's when you finally snap out of your little fantasy world and realize that THE sugawara is walking up to you with the biggest smile. you start to tense up, obviously. you've been crushing on him since when..? ever since you saw him? yeah.

"hey there y/n ! i got a question for you, if you don't mind taking a few minutes to talk!" he says enthusiastically. woah. sugawara knows your name and wants to talk to you. SUGAWARA. WANTS. TO. TALK. TO. YOU. and he knows your name.

"wh- yeah sure i've got all day! what's up?" you say acting like this was totally cool with you and you totally weren't just thinking about him. his smile doesn't leave his face, in fact it only grows bigger. he seemed glad that you were free all day. you just didn't know why he was so happy about it.

"awesome ! well i was trying to reach you yesterday but i guess you aren't the type to pick up random numbers are you," he giggled, "i should've messaged you instead... but anyway! i wanted to talk to you about your blocking.. it's really impressive. and i just wanted to say that for a new addition to our team, you really are very skilled. and im so proud of you for that y/n! but im getting off track here aren't i.." he rambled on and on about how impressed he was by you and how he wanted to get to know you better. you sat there flustered and shocked, but still willing to listen to every compliment he threw at you.

his rambling continued and you are able to understand all of it, but then you hear him ask you... a very WATTPAD-ESQUE question.

"i was wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a little picnic date with me so that we could talk about the team.. or if you'd like, talk about each other! whatever you want, i'll make sure to make it happen and-" you cut him off. "MHM! let's totally do it!! i'm so down !! SO PUMPED !! woohOOO! i would love that !!" you blabber out excitedly.

"awe great! when would you like to go? like in a few minutes?? maybe tomorrow? i mean we could go get dressed at home and then bring all the supplies and stuff and meet up at a park if you're fine with it! i'll send you the address of my favorite park.. here lemme just..."he proposed while reaching for his phone. you nod in agreement and both of you exchange numbers, giving each other nicknames in the contact list.

fast forward; you two are already at the park, setting up the picnic spot. (i know im lazy im sorryy)

"alright doll, would you mind bringing over the food basket i set up for us? it's right- yeah right there!" he giggled as you quickly pointed at where it was while he was mid-sentence. he brushed off any unnecessary leaves and dirt on the picnic blanket, and sat down, moving around the food items and snacks to make the setup look cuter and more enjoyable. you finally finish bringing over all the snacks you brought from home and set them down, organizing them alongside suga.

"is that a separate bowl of konpeitō??!" you ask shocked. it was your personal favorite candy and you were curious to know how HE knew that. "yeah it is! i love konpeitō a lot so i brought some for us to share, it's my favorite candy." he replied while scratching his head. "no way! it's my favorite candy too! that's cool!!" you say very hyped. you both giggle and talk about how you two were feeling. things like "how was your week?" and "did you enjoy practice?" were probably the first few questions of the bunch.

of course, the conversation didn't stay dry, and you two talk about lots of things, ranging from why your favorite song was actually a meme song to why sugawara doesn't like to share his snacks with daichi because he eats them all.

you both enjoyed the delicious konpeitō, nommed on some homemade suga-sandwiches, and sipped on fruit punch flavored juice happily while talking about how cute the ducks at the park were.

then sugawara's curiosity kicked in.

"hey doll, i think you already know what i saved you as in my phone, but i never found out what you saved me as.. is it alright if you tell me?" he asked suddenly. he was itching to know what you decided to call him. this was very important to sugawara and you could tell, so you quickly followed up. "i got you saved as suga-bear with a white heart next to it!" you said, smiling gently. he blushed a bit from how calm you said it. your smile made his mind go blank.

"that's.. adorable y/n.. that's so cute..." he lets out after finally finding out how to breathe again. you look away, clearly blushing because of how cute he looked while saying that. he finally mustered up the courage to caress your soft tender hand, squeezing it, not too tightly, and then slowly redirecting his hand to your warm, rosy cheek.

"y/n, honestly.. if i didn't ask you on this date would i have even known how incredibly cute you actually were?" he said as he looked deeply into your eyes, getting lost in them by each passing second. your thoughts raced as his warm hand rested against your left cheek and the wind slowly hit your back. you could hear your heart beating much faster than before. it was a very tense yet relaxing moment.

before you could even respond to his rhetorical question, he leaned in and slowly kissed your lips, his tongue accidentally slipping in. neither of you regretted it though. you kissed back; and for a short moment, your mind went blank. you could feel both his hands moving towards your neck and shoulders. he grabbed your neck gently and only fell into a deeper kiss than when his lips first met yours. his fingers wrapped around your neck and even just the feeling of it gave you goosebumps.

"i don't know if it's too soon to even say this but it's just... it feels right to." he says as he pulled away from the kiss. "doll..." he sighed. "i love you.. and im not holding back from saying that because i know that if we spend even just one more minute together i'll already want to give you the world and all of the universes on a silver platter." he confessed.

you couldn't even believe what was happening. i mean, the kiss alone was enough to make you pass out and yet here you were listening to your crush of 3 years confess his love to you at a cute picnic date.

"i... i love you a lot. im not just saying that because we're here on a little picnic date and i'm not saying it with hopes to make you feel better or give you false hope. i truly feel like you just.. make me feel even more comfortable being myself. even if it was just a short picnic date, even if we played together once or twice during practice, even if this is our first time actually having a full-on conversation. i really do love you... so so much.." you could see a tear rolling down his cheek as he mouthed "thank you" and kissed your cheek.

he went in for a hug and moved his hands and arms up and down against your back. he laughed off his tears while still rubbing your back, and pulled away to wipe his tears. you could tell he wasn't joking about it and that made you get a little emotional too. he grabbed your face and kissed your forehead, then your nose, and lastly, a small peck on the lips.

"suga... i didn't know you felt the same way i did.." you said, reassuring him that you loved him just as much. he laughed through his tears and then sniffed. you could see how he was quickly getting much more comfortable with you.

"i always have... it's just now i'm able to actually tell you about it.. yknow?" he laughed. he intertwined his fingers with yours and tightly held your hands, putting them both close to his face and gently planting kisses on them. both of you looked into each other's eyes and leaned in for a final kiss while the sun was setting.

from the second you saw him, to the moment you two kissed, you knew suga was the one.

that’s all ! i hope you enjoyed this self insert x suga fluff fanfic ! i can't even tell if this one's good or not, but that's because i wrote this at like 2AM and i'm just posting it now because of the lil mistakes lmao. i dont rlly expect this to do any good, just a random fluff i wrote :,)

#hq fluff #fluff #haikyuu fluff #fluff fanfic #sfw fanfic #sugawara x y/n #hq sugawara #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara koushi #koushihaikyuu #koushi sugawara x reader #sugawara fluff #koushi fluff #sfw writing #sfw #writing #fanfic

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geniusgub · 4 years

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north//chapter two

ta da! chapter two for you! I am so incredibly close to finishing writing this fic (I’m halfway through the second to last chapter) and once that’s done, I have a shit ton of editing to do. I’m sure that will take a while but it will just be jazzing up the writing style and cementing the plot holes. once I’m done then I’ll have a set posting schedule and I’ll let u know what it is.

again, if you want to be added to the tag list then comment under this post or send me a message! thank you for reading and enjoy. please leave feedback, it makes me vv happy!!

genre: fluff

pairing: season nine spencer reid x female oc

warnings: none! fluff!

word count: 4.7k

SPENCER

"Reid."

I struggle to hold in a groan as I hear Hotch calling my name from his office when I try to leave the bullpen after returning from our most recent case. Alex gives me an understanding smile, one that says sorry you can’t get out of here as quickly as the rest of us, collecting her go-bag and heading into the elevator. Rossi pats my shoulder as I head up the small staircase to Hotch's office, closing the door behind me as I enter. I don't say anything as I enter, for fear of incriminating myself for whatever it is I’ve probably done wrong. After all, I’ve never been called in here to be given a pat on the back and thanked for my hard work. It’s always been to be scolded for whatever reason. So I figure for now I’ll just stay quiet until I’ve been told what the issue is.

Hotch just barely glances up from the paperwork he's doing as I stand in front of him, my bag in my hand, lingering by the closed door so I can make a quick getaway when this ends. "Is everything okay with you?"

"Yes," I say, probably a bit too quickly for him to actually believe it’s true. "Everything is fine,"

Hotch sets down his pen and stares up at me with the same intimidating, stoic expression he always has. "Reid, you were very distracted throughout this last case. You clearly weren't focused. It didn’t impact your work very much but it nearly did. One slip up means catastrophe and we can’t afford that. We can’t afford our personal lives mixing with our work lives. You know that,"

"It won't happen again,"

It's true. It won’t happen again. I’ll text Amelia and two things could happen. She could either ignore me and therefore, my infatuation with her will dissipate because I'll have no fuel to my emotional fire. Sure, that situation will hurt incredibly bad but at least I’ll have some level of closure and I’ll be able to block her out from my mind. On the other hand, she could answer my text and I'll get to see her again, and my thirst to see her again will be quenched and I won't be so plagued with a single image of her. I won’t be left to daydream of her blonde hair and her blue sweater and white nail polish. I’ll be able to see her again and hear her voice and learn more about her. But that’s contingent on if she actually answers my text. That is if I can actually get myself to reach out to her and not get swallowed up in self-doubt and anxiety.

"Good," Hotch picks up his pen again and gets back to work, ducking his head almost completely out of my view. And just when I think this conversation is over and I can get home at a reasonable time, he speaks again. "So who is she?"

My eyes widen slightly, but I manage to compose myself before my face gives away too much. My hands tighten around the leather strap of my messenger bag and I clear my throat. "Excuse me?"

Hotch gives me the tiniest of smiles, not even lifting his head or stopping his work. "I can tell. Who is she?"

I run my fingers through my hair and let out an exasperated sigh, and I know that no lie I could try and come up with would get past him. So I guess I’ll just tell him the truth and hope that he won’t ask too many questions now or in the future, if anything even transpires in the future. "Just some girl I met when I was getting coffee,"

"Must be some girl if she's been on your mind for four days," Hotch remarks. "Well, you better text her now that we're back. Head home and get sleep. That's an order,"

///

It takes me hours to actually grow the courage to text Amelia. I get back to my apartment after leaving work and I shower, do laundry, eat dinner, and read a few books before I even think about reaching for my phone. But even after I reach for it, I pick it up and put it down a few times before I force myself to sit down on the couch and open up my contacts to search for Amelia’s name.

I type and retype my message to Amelia what feels like a million times, but it actually turns out to be seven times. I wind up sending her a simple text, and even after seven attempts at a perfect message, it still feels completely wrong.

Hey, it's Spencer. We finished the case and I'm back home.

I should have said more or maybe less. Well, she told me not to text her until I got back home so isn’t it implied by the existence of the text that I’m home? Did I need to reiterate that I’m home by putting it into words for her? And she has my number so she knows it’s me texting her. I didn’t really need to tell her my name again.

I stand from the sticky leather couch and cross my apartment, standing in front of one of my many bookshelves, searching for a book to read. I might as well read to distract myself from the text that surely just ruined any chance I had with the most beautiful, interesting, and intriguing girl I’ve ever met. But before I can even find a book that is compelling enough to distract me, my phone dings. I audibly gasp, and I almost hit myself for acting like this. I've never been like this. It's dumb, really, to be acting like this. But no matter how dumb I try to convince myself I’m being, I can’t help the excitement that bubbles up in me as I rush back to my couch to grab my phone. Is this what it's like to be a teenager and have your first crush? Is this what it's like to stay up late and talk to your crush on the phone, having to whisper to not wake your parents? Is that what this is like?

how did the case go?

It's an interesting question and I'm surprised she even asked. I'm not sure what I was expecting her to say, but it wasn't that. Maybe I'd expected a text about the four day gap in communication, but nothing. Just a simple question about the case. It still takes me too long to answer as I grapple, yet again, to come up with a proper text.

It went pretty well considering the circumstances. It was an abduction case of a few women and we managed to save all the women in the end.

She responds almost immediately this time. Was she sitting and watching her phone and waiting for me to respond? Is that something people do in this situation? Is that what I’m supposed to be doing? Should I call Penelope and ask for advice on this? No. Absolutely not. The entire team would know in minutes and that’s the last thing I want.

that's great! good job. it's always nice to hear of good outcomes. I hear about way too many cases with horrible outcomes.

I'm about to type a response, but she sends another text before I can.

will you be getting coffee tomorrow?

Most likely. Why?

do you want to get coffee with me? we could talk a bit more before you have to go to work

I can't help the smile that comes to my face. She actually wants to see me again. Even after I didn't text her for four days, she still wants to see me. She asked me out. That has never been my luck.

There's a small tinge of doubt that starts to grow within me. The Pessimist in me starts to scream, telling me to run in the other direction. It’s telling me to delete her number and curl up in bed and never go to that cafe ever again, just so I know I’ll never see her again. The Pessimist is telling me to stop talking to this angel and not get her tangled up in this horrible job that I'm enveloped in. Too many people have been hurt because of me and I don't want to ruin another innocent life. But I can't help the way I get excited when I see her name pop up on my phone, and I can't stop my shaky hands whenever her face renters my brain. It's wrong, I know it is, but I can't help myself. So against my better judgment, I respond.

I'd love to get coffee with you. I'll meet you there at 8?

sounds perfect! see you then

I barely sleep at all that night. I doze off a few times on the couch with a book my book falling onto my stomach, but that's all. I'm far too excited to see Amelia again to actually spend more than an hour asleep at a time.

It takes me almost an hour to get dressed. I just can't decide what to wear. It takes me an hour to decide on an outfit, and I wind up wearing clothes that I would wear to work on any normal day, not on a day where I’m meeting a pretty girl for coffee (and tea). A button-up, a tie, a sweater vest, a peacoat jacket, jeans, and my beat up black converse. Yet again, it feels like it's not enough but god only knows what today could have in store for me. Plus, it's cold and I don't feel like freezing to death on my walk to the cafe.

I grab everything I could need for my walk and sling my messenger bag over my shoulder before locking up my apartment. I almost stumble down the stairs in my daydreaming daze but manage to keep my feet steady, letting out a breath and calming myself down as much as I can. I’ll need to be as calm as I can when I arrive because I know I won’t have much opportunity to when I get there.

I arrive at 7:45 and stand on line, waiting patiently to get to the barista. I order my coffee and then relay Amelia's tea order as well, the one I had noticed in her hand five days ago. Once I pay for the drinks, I sit down in the same booth we had been in previously and hope that Amelia will have the same thought process as me and will find me here.

I'm determined to make myself seem more comfortable than I was last time, so I put my messenger bag aside and straighten my tie around my neck. I make sure it's even with the hem of my sweater vest and smoothen down my pants, then run my fingers through my hair to make sure it's not too unruly. I've gotten a new haircut recently and I'm not too fond of it. The sides are too short and the top is too long but I haven't gotten a chance to go back to the barber to get it fixed. I'm not sure how to style it yet but I guess I have to figure it out eventually. But once I’ve dealt with my appearance, I roll my shoulders to loosen them up and take a few sips of my coffee, hoping that the caffeine will course through my veins at rapid speed.

"Hi, Spencer," Amelia pops up beside me with her stunning smile, pouring out her energy onto the table and setting the tone for the morning. Maybe I won’t even need my coffee if she’s with me.

I take a refreshing breath as soon as I see her, smiling back. I push myself out of the booth in an attempt to greet her properly, as best as I can. "Hi, Amelia,"

Despite it being five incredibly long days after our first meeting, Amelia is just as stunning to me now as she was before. Her skin is glowing and her eyes are still harnessing the beauty of the ocean. Her hair is up in a bun today, just a little bit messy but just perfect enough to be put together. She's wearing a black turtleneck with a red plaid skirt, black stockings, and the same black heeled boots as before. There's no camera around her neck today, but I see the straps of her leather backpack around her shoulders and I assume it's tucked away in there. Her nails are yellow now and her fingers are still full of rings, and now that her hair is up, I notice a handful of piercings in each of her ears. She looks different, sure, but I still have to keep myself from swooning at the mere sight of her.

"Okay," Amelia holds her hands out in front of me, as if halting me from coming any closer, "so I was thinking about you when you were off at work-"

That's nowhere near the end of her sentence, but it catches my attention the most. I couldn't stop thinking about her, but she was actually thinking about me. Maybe she was thinking about my coffee order and my tie and my messenger bag like I was thinking about her heels and her blonde hair and her choice of tea. It's not one-sided. I've never been successful with girls but I somehow did something to this girl to make her think about me and to wait for my text and actually want to respond. What could I have possibly done?

"Or more specifically," she corrects herself, "about how you don't like shaking hands and I totally agree with you. I looked up more statistics on handshaking and it's so disgusting and so germy and I totally get why you hate it and, honestly, I don’t blame you one bit. So," she annunciates the word with a huge smile, and she bounces just a little bit on her toes out of excitement. That sight is truly the most adorable sight I think I’ve ever seen. "I came up with alternatives,"

I furrow my eyebrows. "Alternatives?"

"Yeah! For handshaking," Amelia tells me, her excitement never faltering. "I thought maybe we could high five, but that wasn't my favorite option because it’s kinda lame, and it’s still touching hands, just for a really short time. We could fist bump, or we could elbow bump, or we could do like," she holds up her hand with her pinky out, "almost like a pinky promise but then I thought that, again, it's still technically touching hands, but we're not covering as much surface area as a whole handshake would. And, of course, I'd assume that hugs are off the table, which is fine. As much as I love hugging, I get that hugging strangers is super weird so it’s not that big of a deal to me." Amelia lets out a loud breath as she finishes her speech, a speech similar to the ones I deliver daily to my coworkers, and as she speaks, my smile grows and grows and I can’t seem to stop it. "That was a lot all at once. Sorry about that,”

"No, it's okay," I tuck my hands in my pockets and bow my head, trying to wipe the stupid grin off my face. "It's actually really, um, it's really sweet that you put so much thought into how to greet me. Most people think I’m weird because I don’t like shaking hands,”

Amelia presses her lips together in a shy smile and she just bounces on her toes once more before her eyes dart towards the growing line of people towards the front of the cafe. "I should go get on line before it gets too long. I'll-"

"Actually, I-"

"Spencer!"

My cheeks turn pink as the barista shouts out my name with impeccable timing, cutting off Amelia’s sentence. "I noticed your order when we met and I ordered your tea when I ordered my coffee, if you don’t mind. I hope it’s okay,”

"That's really sweet of you, Spencer, thank you," I find some sort of odd comfort in the way that Amelia seems to get shy at my tiny gentlemanly gesture. Maybe the comfort comes in knowing that I’m not the only one who’s getting bashful.

"Sit, I'll go grab them," I gesture back to the table before rushing off to grab both of our piping hot drinks, hurrying through the growing line of customers before they can cool off too much. I sit back down and slide the cup over to Amelia, which she grabs with a grateful smile. "So how are you?"

Amelia takes the first sip of her tea as I pull off the top of mine and blow gently. "I'm pretty great, actually. The weather isn't so nice out today so I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get that many good pictures. What about you?"

"I'm," I weigh my options of what I could say for a moment, "happy to be here,"

Amelia's eyes widen slightly and her cheeks get pink as she hides in a long drink of her tea, but I can't tell if her blush that's because of her scolding drink or because of my implication that I’m happy to be with her. "So, Mr. FBI, tell me more about you. I know we don't have too much time but I wanna know more about you," she goes quiet then, giving me her full attention. Her eyes are locked with mine and she's facing me straight on, giving me her full and undivided attention. I don’t give myself enough time to get anxious over this attention and I just focus on trying to tell her the basic details about myself that seem to be most prominent in my life.

"Well, I'm a behavioral profiler for the FBI, but you already know that," I almost roll my eyes at how dumb it was for me to say that first, because Amelia already knew that, but I move on just as quick as I did when I sent her that stupid text with my name in it yesterday. "I have an IQ of 187,"

Amelia's eyes go wide and she quickly sets her cup down, nearly slamming her hands down on the table as her jaw falls open in disbelief. "You're serious?"

I laugh at her reaction, even if her reaction is much more dramatic than the ones I’m used to seeing from police officers and other FBI agents. But at least her first reaction isn’t to call me weird or freaky for being so abnormally smart. "Yes, actually. And I can read 20,000 words per minute. I've got three Ph.D.’s and three BA's,"

"Oh my god," she puts her elbows on the table and presses her fingers into her temples, "I'm in the presence of a literal genius! I don't even deserve to be sitting at this table," her words contradict her body language though because despite what she's saying, she seems to become more comfortable and sinks impossibly further into the leather booth. "So," she takes a breath and drops her hands from her head, collecting herself just a little bit, "you're a doctor?"

"Yes," I say, taking the first sip of my coffee, now cooled off enough for me to actually drink it, "but not a medical doctor,"

"So you're Doctor Spencer-" her voice trails off and her eyebrows raise as she expects me to fill in the blank.

"Reid,"

"Doctor Spencer Reid," she says it as if she's testing out the way it rolls off her tongue. And if I thought if my first name coming out of her mouth sounded magnificent before, my full name escaping her lips so effortlessly sounds breathtaking and glorious. I almost miss it when she speaks again because I’m so caught up in trying to recreate the sound of her voice in my head. "Wow. You work for the FBI, you're a genius, you're a doctor with three Ph.D.’s, is there anything you can't do?"

I choose not to answer that because I could give a laundry list of things I can't do. But this is not the time to be self-deprecating. I want Amelia to actually like me, not be scared away by my incompetence. But thankfully, before I can try to think of anything to say to pivot the conversation to a new topic, Amelia does it for me.

"And what else? That's just work stuff. Tell me about you as a person. Your hobbies, that kinda stuff,"

"Well, I read a lot," I tell her. "I always have books with me. I like classical music," I take another second to think, my eyes wandering around the relatively empty cafe as I struggle to think of more things about myself that would seem intriguing and wouldn’t make me seem completely lame. But I’m starting to get the impression that Amelia doesn’t think that way. She hasn’t given me any reason to believe that she thinks I’m weird, even as I reveal more and more details about myself. "I like magic,"

"Magic?" Amelia smirks, the topic clearly piquing her interest. "I didn't peg you as a magician, Dr. Reid,"

"Well, I'm from Las Vegas so it's kind of imperative that I know some magic tricks,"

"Then you'll just have to show me some tricks next time, won't you?"

Next time.

"Y-Yeah," I stutter out, trying not to sound too taken aback by the revelation that she is willing to see me again, "I'll come prepared next time." Amelia beams at my response and now that she’s distracted, I figure now is the perfect time to divert the conversation away from me. "Okay, now you go. Tell me about you and your hobbies,"

"Oh, okay," she wiggles in her seat from excitement, brushing her fallen pieces of hair behind her ear when they stick to her long lashes and obstruct her sight, "art is what I find myself doing the most. It’s my job but it’s also my main hobby, considering I’ve already told you I walk around with my camera a lot. But apart from art, I really love thrift shopping. I don’t know if that qualifies as a hobby but I really love seeing what I can find. I have this system that I follow and it’s top secret but it ensures you find something really good every time. Maybe I’ll tell you about it one day. Other than that, I’m a Taurus. I moved here right after college with my best friends but I live alone now. What else? This is lame but my favorite color is-”

"Yellow," I cut her off but I barely even mean to.

Amelia's smile falters for a moment, but then it grows even bigger than before. "Y-Yeah, it is. How'd you know? Well, you're a profiler and you’re supposed to notice behavior but how do you know what my favorite color is based off of my behavior?"

"The scarf on your head five days ago had a pattern on it but was mostly yellow. The rings you were wearing also had yellow in them, as do the ones on your fingers now," she glances down at them as I talk. "Your nails are also painted yellow now, but they were white before and they weren't chipped. That means that you took the white polish off and changed it to yellow even though the white polish was perfectly fine. So that means your favorite color is yellow,"

"You-" she lets out a breath, absolutely baffled, "you remember the scarf I was wearing and that my nail polish wasn't chipped?"

"Yeah," I bob my head up and down in a nod, clutching my coffee cup tighter in my hands, "ironically enough, I forgot to mention that I have an eidetic memory,"

Amelia tilts her head to the side. "What's that?"

"It's also widely known as a photographic memory. I can see or read something once and then I'll remember it. I don’t necessarily remember every word of a conversation but I remember books I read and I’ll remember our texts and I remember what we were both wearing-"

"It's why you remembered my order," she has a moment of realization, her fingers curling around her almost empty cup of tea. "You just keep getting more and more impressive, Dr. Reid. But unfortunately," I see her eyes wander over to the watch on my wrist, "you're not the only one who remembers things. This is about the time you left last time,"

"You'd be correct," I sigh begrudgingly, my hand slowly reaching for my bag, dreading the fact that I have to go to work yet again and leave her warm presence. I know I can’t possibly leave her without expressing my need to see her again. So once I’ve managed to get my bag over my head and inhale deeply, I quickly blurt out the first sentence that pops into my head that articulates my thoughts. "I'd love to do this again,"

"You better! You need to wow me with your magic skills!" Amelia exclaims with a casual tone to her voice that makes me wonder if I even needed to tell her that I wanted to see her again. Maybe she just expected that we would see each other again. "Tomorrow, same time? Of course, that’s contingent on your job. If you have to work then it’s fine. We can rain check,"

"That sounds like a plan to me,” The giddiness and the excitement build up in me as I stand and wait for her to button up her jacket. She flashes me her millionth smile of the morning as we head towards the door, and I make sure to hold the door open for her to make sure she gets out first. "So I'll text you or call you later and let you know if I get a case,"

"I'll be waiting,"

We pause in front of the window of the cafe, just waiting for one of us to initiate a proper goodbye. But nothing seems to feel right after the perfect morning we had. No smile, or wave, or verbal greeting can wrap up an encounter so absurdly perfect. But then as I see Amelia glance down at her shoes and as she lets her anxieties shine through for one of the first times since I met her, I remember what she had told me when she first arrived at the cafe this morning. I hold up my hand with my pinky sticking out, and I'd do anything to immortalize the smile that comes to Amelia's face in that exact moment.

"I knew you'd like this one," she murmurs to herself happily, even though I can obviously hear her, wrapping her warm pinky around mine. "I'll talk to you soon, Dr. Reid,"

"You know, you can call me Spencer," I respond, reluctantly letting go of her hand as she takes a step in the direction opposite to where I need to go.

"I'll think about it," she smirks and turns on her heels, bouncing on her toes again before rushing down the sidewalk. I watch her go, too entranced by her to even move or think about attempting to catch my train. Every tiny detail about her draws me into her world and just watching her walk away makes me want to run up and sweep her off her feet, literally and metaphorically. Leaving her is the most disappointing thing I can think of, and all I want is to drag her back into the cafe and back to the booth and sit down and talk for hours upon hours. But I shake my head at my intrusive thoughts and force myself to turn around and get to the metro before I miss my train. I can't afford to be late. I can't afford anyone asking questions.

///

We got a case today. I'll be headed to LA for a couple of days. Raincheck on coffee and tea?

coffee and tea and magic tricks! don't you dare forget magic tricks!

if you’ve read this far then please let me know your favorite color. i really wanna know. thank u sm. also let me know what you thought of the chapter. love u all <3333

TAGLIST

@etheralgubler @babybobbybones @whollytaciturn @reidswords @thegingerfairchild @matthewreid @shrimpyblog @garcias-batcave @anamelessfacelessnerd

#nikos north fic #nikos writing #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x oc #matthew gray gubler #mgg

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levi-supreme · 3 years

Note

Hey Rei! Anon here!

I wanted to talk about this post. I won't tag the person who made it, but I was interested in your opinion on it. They bring up a great point in their tags as well.

I know for me I get really drained from writing. Not because I feel it's a chore, but writing, reading, editing, rereading and writing again can get quite exhausting and I feel that I don't even really want to read anyone's work after that.

This extends to me struggling to read other's writing who normally I might read, but can no longer do just because of being tired of words.

Anyway, I was wondering if you or other people felt this way as well since the post does have a lot of notes. Happy Tuesday!

Hi!!!!! Sorry I took so long to answer this T.T I'll answer below the cut because I'm prone to verbal diarrhoea lol!

A little background info, I started reading fanfics since 15 or 16, and I read loads of fanfics written of/about kpop idols (character x character, character x oc), Harry Potter (mainly Ronmione, AU, and canon-divergence), Digimon Adventure (the original 1998 characters hehe), and Final Fantasy (Cloti for life!!!!).

I wrote my first BTS fanfic in 2016, I write kny fics but I did not post any, and I only started writing for snk (specifically Levi) in 2021 after mustering the courage and getting over the shyness and anxiety lol.

I consider myself as a reader more than a writer because I don't think I'm good enough to be called a fanfic writer haha. Still, I'll give my comments in two parts. First as a writer, and next as a reader!

As a writer

I totally get what you mean!! Like, the constant brainstorming, writing, planning, and editing, it burns people out, and I feel like that too. Sometimes I feel like I am in the right headspace to write. But when I open up my Google docs, my drive suddenly just goes away.

And sometimes as a writer, I feel like I don't want to read fanfics for mainly two reasons:

1. I don't want to remember what I read in others fics and accidentally use it in my own fics.

Unfortunately my memory is pretty good lol, and I don't want to remember a scene, a line, or an idea that I read from a fic, and accidentally use it in my own writing.

And seeing as how I literally only write for Levi, and I tend to read more Levi x reader fics, I never ever want to risk the chance of me liking and remembering something that I've read, and then using it when I'm writing my own fics. I know to most this is just a small thing, but to me I feel like this is something that I should avoid in order to give that fic writer the respect and credit for writing something so good.

2. I don't want to read other people's writings and inadvertently compare it to my own.

I'm not sure about you, but despite the cheerful, friendly, sweet image I may give off to all of you, I'm actually very self-conscious and feel very inferior in terms of writing. I always have this feeling that my writing sucks, I'm mediocre, and no one likes what I'm writing.

Of course confidence is something that needs to be built and it takes time. But then, I don't want to read works of other writers (especially those that have a good number of audience/have really good 'representative' writings/are what you call the more 'popular' writers) and then comparing it to my own writing, because I know I will unknowingly tell myself "lmao haha you can't write something as good as that can you?"

And also, I feel like if I have a certain idea that I want to write, but I already see it being written, I'll feel demoralised to write it. I will think that oh, people might compare my writing to someone else's, and obviously mine going to be the inferior one.

As a reader

Also, I don't know about you, but I feel like fanfiction has changed a lot. Or maybe, it's because I've grown up and the type of fics I enjoy reading are now different.

Back when I was still an avid kpop fan, the amount of fanfics I've read were SO many, and they're all in different genres and AUs. Coffee shop au, spy au, police/mafia au, office au, magic au, super power au, canon-divergent, etc.

Yes these tropes are still being used in writing for anime fanfiction, but it just feels so... different? Like, the fics I read about a kpop character x oc/Ronmione/Cloti/Squinoa (Squall x Rinoa from FFVIII) feels so different from those written for anime characters.

But as a reader, I feel like these are the reasons why I don't see myself reading a lot of fanfiction nowadays.

1. The fics are chaptered/long fics are time consuming.

I'm not saying they're bad, I actually LOVE long fics. But then, I feel like I need to be in the right time to properly read them because just like reading a book, I want to be able to read these chaptered/long fics without distractions.

I feel like since these chaptered/long fics are like reading a book, I want to really enjoy the writing and imagery, so if I'm not in the correct 'mood' I find myself unable to focus and enjoy the fic as much as I want to.

2. There's nothing I like available.

I don't know about you, but I'm aversive to a lot of dark content and popular tropes. For one I really don't like the daddy kink, sugar daddy/baby kink, stepcest. I also can't stand like any rough play/three or more some/sex pollen and more. Yup. I know I am very vanilla. But do I care? Lmao no. It's my preference and it's who I am.

I love reading fluff and the occasional hurt/comfort and smut, but somehow that's about it. And I'm not bashing anyone, but there's so many fics with dark content, and then resulting in me having nothing to read. Of course the writers are free to produce whatever content they want. It's for their audience who love those tropes and ideas, but I just happen to not be one of them.

So, it just ends up with me not having that many things to read eventually, and somehow I just re-read old stuff that I really enjoy.

3. I have no time.

I mean... like okay yes it's an obvious answer, but I really don't have the time? Shift work (12hrs and above) is a pain in my ass, and I have to study too, and fulfill my duties as a daughter and as a girlfriend. WHERE TO FIND THE TIME???? I don't even have a lot of time to sleep lmao, don't talk about reading fanfics haha.

Bringing back to point 1, I can read like short fics but when it comes to anything 5k words and above I'm like "Okay let's kiv this first I'll read it again next time" and therefore, I have too many fics tagged under my 'save for later' tag T.T

I don't know if I answered your ask or not anon I'm so sorry if I didn't, and I made you read through paragraphs of crap.

And also disclaimer: I'm not spilling the tea on anyone, and these are just my own thoughts and opinions. Please also remember that I am actually very pessimistic and inferior, and I really tend to always think of the bad stuff first before the good lol, which may make me sound really cynical and negative here.

And if you've read until here, thank you for standing by my verbal diarrhoea <3

#anon.asks #rei.answers #anonymous tuesday #cw: negativity #cw: ranting #cw: long post #verbal diarrhoea strikes i'm sorry #anyway #kiv means keep in view #in case anyone doesn't know what it means

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leejungchans · 3 years

Text

tag game, the interview

tagged by @ateez-elena 🥺💕 ty for tagging me daisy!! this looks really fun :3

more under the cut ahsjhws i think i wrote too much 🤡🤡

1. Why did you choose your url?

my main blog is starlightlillies so i wanted something that also started with ‘starlight’; joong for hongjoong bc i love him :3 (i’m aware lilies is spelt with one ‘L’ but it’s alr taken 🥲)

2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them?

this blog itself is a side blog hghghhh but starlighthwa is my second one for fic recs, gifs, other rambles etc. partly for better organisation and partly bc i’d feel bad posting 10+ a day about my rambles on this blog even though i kinda already do 🥲 (update: ateezjuliet is my sideblog for my oc!! i just made it bc i wanted better organisation 🥲)

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

a few years but i didn’t start writing and posting my work here until nov of last year!!

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i don’t know what a queue tag is 😭 send help ahsjwjs but i don’t queue my fics bc 1) i tried it once before and my work did not show up in the tags 😭 2) my sleep schedule is fucked enough that i don’t really have to queue anything lmaooo

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i’ve wanted to be a writer here for a few years but never got the courage to actually do it, but then i thought if i didn’t do it now then i’d probably never get the chance to in a few years!!

6. Why did you choose your icon / pfp?

i like lee chan i guess 😭

7. Why did you choose your header?

bc i l*ve lee chan 💔 ahhsjwjs i change my layout a lot but this one might last quite a while bc i really really like it!! (no promises though if my layout changes next week no one say a word 💀)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

my jeonghan fic redemption!!

9. How many mutuals do you have?

not a lot i feel like but i love every single one of you with my whole heart and i hope you know that 😤💕 (if you wanna be moots/friends please don’t hesitate to hmu hahwhsj i’m usually way too shy to reach out to people but i’d love to be friends 🥺)

10. How many followers do you have?

i hit a milestone a while ago!! (ahjshwjs sorry i’m not the most comfy with revealing the exact number 🤧)

11. How many people do you follow?

i follow from my main so 1186 blogs!! i’ve been on tumblr for years so i’ve had many phases and fandom changes ahsjjwjs sooo yeah that’s a lot whsjhw

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

i had to look this up and tbh i still don’t really know 😭 if it means posting something dumb then yeah bc that’s literally my whole personality 💀

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

i get so ashamed when people ask me about my phone usage/screen time bc I KNOW IT’S BAD!!!! 😭😭 uhhhh apple says i spent 22 hours on tumblr last week so 🤡 i read a lot here aside from posting and interacting with you guys so yeah!!

14. Did you have a fight / argument with another blog once? Who won?

nope!!

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to compare this’ posts?

i also don’t really know what these are 😭 i haven’t gotten them before nor have i seen these on other blogs 😭😭

16. Do you like tag games?

yes!! :3

17. Do you like ask games?

also yes!! :3

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

hmmm i don’t really have anyone in mind?

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope!!

no pressure tags 💕 @atinymonster @woopetals @moondaii @nctharu and anyone else who wants to join!!

#tagged !#hopefully this gives a little more info about me for funsies? :3

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weeklyfangirl · 4 years

Text

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.

My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough.

“oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.”

A flying toenail hit my eye.

“WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.

“Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

“oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!”

“IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back.

I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle.

“All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

“You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.”

“Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.”

I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.”

“Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?”

This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did.

After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t.

And he didn’t.

And therein lay the problem.

It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

“Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.”

“Ew, he smells like meat.”

“RENNY!!”

“I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

“He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.”

She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window.

“Hey Renny?”

“Hm.”

A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?”

“Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.”

“Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.

“Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?”

Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first.

“I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.”

“Oh.”

“It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

“The divorce or your virginity.”

“Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.”

“No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis.

“I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more.

Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?”

Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him.

“Maybeeee…?”

But then there was last night.

I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves?

“No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.”

Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.”

“Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this.

Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly.

But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him?

You were right, Harry. You are fucked.

I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh.

I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

Renny was right.

I needed therapy.

The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

“Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?”

DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please.

I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

“NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

“Fine. I can keep a secret.”

I was getting a little too good at that lately.

She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious.

“Yeah, more than you know.”

And I was serious, too.

--------------------------------------

I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs.

Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery. .

“Woah did you hear that?”

Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.”

It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next.

A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did.

“It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts.

“How’d you know that?”

She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance.

I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick.

Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away.

My hand wavered.

Odd.

Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors.

I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over.

“Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”

Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster.

“I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.”

Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too.

“Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed.

We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from.

“Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment.

My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?”

“Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-”

“My God,” David proclaimed.

Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven’t called to replace him yet.”

It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.”

“Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass.

Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

“Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased.

He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.”

We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left.

“Look closer.”

My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang.

“Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin.

The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot.

“Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

“Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.”

“How so?”

“Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.”

He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside.

He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles.

“They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said.

A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.”

“Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.”

“Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him.

I felt him come closer.

“Listen now,” he urged.

I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder.

“Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.”

I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed.

“Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?”

I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous.

“What do you hear?” he urged.

“I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped.

But right when I was about to open my eyes-

I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter.

“Birds?” I opened my eyes.

“Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself.

“Why are there birds?”

“We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half.

My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.”

“All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes.

“Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.”

“What do you mean?”

She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow.

I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second.

I was naked.

In all of them.

One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.

Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet.

The wine had dropped.

I’d dropped it.

I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb.

“Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked.

I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe.

He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees.

Because that’s what it was.

An exposure.

A stranger could pay to have me in their home.

The floor spun, vision spotting.

My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly.

“I didn’t want this.”

And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home.

part 22

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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

Text

Rose (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst to slight fluff

Summary: Bakugou has a crush on you and uses Kirishima’s party as the perfect time to confess. He’s practiced so many times, but things don’t go according to plan.

Inspo: “Forever Now” by Ne-yo and this TikTok

Word count: 2,241

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: I think y’all have been too spoiled with all the fluff I’m putting out, it’s time you start crying and screaming.

Also I tried something new with this. I put it in Bakugou’s POV, so for the first time in all my posts, I’ve actually had to use (y/n). It feels so weird! In all my past writing I use OCs, but this fandom loves (y/n) so much.

I think it’s pretty canon that Explosion boy has a secret inferiority complex, so I tried to channel that here too (aka slight cursing warning? But it’s baku, it’s implied) Enjoy!

Alright, dumbass, you're doing this tonight whether you're ready or not.

My reflection stares back at me in the mirror as I ruffle my hair for the who-knows-how-many time in the past hour. I need to put in the extra effort to look particularly handsome tonight. Instead of going in jeans and a shirt like I always do, I chose a white button down, black jeans, a black belt and all black sneakers. I triple checked my breath and sprayed myself with deodorant twice for good measure. Nothing can ruin this, nothing should ruin this.

I hope.

"No, idiot!" I point at my reflection. "You gotta believe you got this! She's gonna be blown away by how hot you look and how suave you are!" I take deep breath and adjust the collar of my shirt. "You're the man. Why wouldn't she like you? You're a catch." I pause, realizing what I'm doing. "Fucking moron!" I growl, convincing myself I'm not crazy for talking to myself.

I grab my bomber jacket hanging from my doorknob, a rose already tucked in the inside pocket. I'm confessing my feelings for her today, it's now or never.

Ever since Kirishima dared us to kiss a few weeks ago at lunch as part of a game, I can't get her out of my head. Her lips just mold so perfectly against mine. I would've kept going if she hadn't pulled away and we had to play it cool afterwards. Even before that, I guess I had feelings for her. A girl that can be affectionate, can hold her own in a fight, and can put me in my place with a sharp tongue; that's the kind of girl she is. With such a great personality, she could have anyone she wants, I just hope she chooses me too.

I shake my head, dispersing those thoughts. I have to believe she's interested in me too. We have good chemistry, even Kirishima agrees that we would be explosive together. I can feel her sometimes get nervous around me, light up a little brighter when she sees me.

Soon enough, I find myself outside Kirishima's place, the faint sound of bass bumping leaking from behind the door. I take a deep breath and let myself in, the background music hitting me first and the smell of sweat second. Everyone's gathered into their separate groups at different corners of the room. (Y/n)'s with Kirishima, Ashido, and Kaminari near the snack table, so I slip over.

"Woooow Bakugou! You cleaned up nicely!" Ashido squeals as I approach them.

As all of their eyes turn to me, I tug at my shirt collar again. "Yeah, yeah, shut up about it. I just didn't wanna look like a bum."

"You look great, dude," Kirishima shoots me an 'ok' gesture.

"Brooo, if I were a chick, I'd bang you," Kaminari slurs, leaning into me.

"Hands off, dude," I push him away from me. "What's up with him? Did Jirou taze him again or something?"

"He's had a few too many drinks," Mina shakes her head at him.

(Y/n) snorts, taking a sip from her plastic cup, "I smell gay panic."

"I'm not gay!" I scream a little too defensively.

"There's no need to hide it, Bakugou, we'd still support you," she continues with her teasing, looking me dead in the eyes with her suave glance.

For a moment, I'm tongue-tied and my heart skips a beat. I cough to cover it up. "Good to know, but sadly for Kirishima, I'm not into guys."

"Hey!" the redhead pouts and Ashido pats his shoulder comfortingly.

We continue talking about whatever. I don't miss the few times (y/n) sneaks a glance at me. Maybe it inflates my ego, but I'm relieved she noticed, especially since I dressed up for her. It's a good sign, maybe things will go well later.

The only annoyance is the way Kaminari's messy behavior, throwing himself all around and slurring. It clearly puts off everyone, (y/n) included. The good part is that he's making a fool of himself and (y/n) scoots over closer to me to avoid him.

"Is that dumbass getting on your nerves? I'll destroy him for you," I whisper to her.

"No, it's fine, he's just having a good time," she responds, scooting a little closer to me until our arms touch. She bites her lip before adding, "You look really handsome today. Did you finally look through your closet for once?"

I shove her with my shoulder. "I have someone I wanted to impress."

She quirks an eyebrow and smirks at me. "So you are gay for Kirishima?"

It's so hard for me to be angry at her when she looks at me like that. It doesn't help that she looks amazing too. Her leather pants hug her curves and her velvet black crop top exposes just enough stomach. "How can I be gay when you're standing right here?"

Her body shifts towards me. "I guess I should take that as a compliment?"

"What do you think?" I lean in closer to her. The flowery scent of her perfume fills my nose and it takes everything I have to not kiss her right there.

She glances down at my lips for a moment, biting her own. "I think I wanna dance." Finishing whatever's left in her cup, she grabs my arm and brings me to the middle of the room where I hadn't even realized everyone else in our group was dancing. Jirou had stolen Kaminari away to dance with his drunk ass and Kirishima's with Ashido.

I start stepping to the music with (y/n). I'll admit I'm not the best at this, I don't even know what to do with my hands. Can I put them on her waist? On her hips? Is she cool with me touching her at all? She senses my hesitation and places me hands just above her hips where the exposed skin is. Surprisingly, it's warm despite being out in the open.

"What's got you so tense?" she smirks at me as she sways her hips to the music.

I smirk back at her. "Just wanted to make sure you can handle me touching you."

As we continue moving to the music, her arms wrap around my neck, bringing us closer together and my heart pounds. "You look beautiful," I half-yell in her ear over the noise.

"Thanks." She pauses before adding, "I was joking about the Kirishima thing."

I lower my hands to her hips, making sure not to touch anywhere else by accident. "I know. He's not the one I'm trying to impress."

I watch as she bites her lip and looks down at mine. Her body almost instinctively leans into me, letting me feel her. My head spins out of control. Now, idiot! Now's the time to do it. My throat feels dry, the words I've rehearsed countless times failing to come out.

The thought of rejection enters my mind and I freeze up. I'm not ready, I can't do this. "I'll be back, I'm getting a drink." I unwrap my arms from around her warmth. She blinks, seemingly dazed, and I escape, trying not to reveal how nervous I am.

I lean over the table, suddenly nauseous and cold all over. Idiot! You just blew your chance! That was the perfect time! I stuff pretzels in my mouth, cursing myself as I try to relieve my anger by crunching something.

"Whoa, are you good, dude?" Kirishima approaches me, an eyebrow quirked. "I thought you and (y/n) were getting it on dancing well?"

I growl, "I chickened out, I couldn't do it."

My best friend crosses his arms. "Come on, dude, grow a pair and just say it. Like ripping a bandage off." His face lights up. "I know. You just need some liquid courage." He pours me a shot of whatever these idiots managed to smuggle in here into a smaller plastic cup. "Down the hatch! I'll link back up with you in a sec. Good luck!" He pats my head and flashes a shark-toothed grin before heading somewhere else.

I don't even bother looking inside it before gulping the whole thing down in one shot, the liquid leaving a burning trail as it slides down my throat. Scrunching my eyes and shaking the pain away, I let out a whoop of confidence and take the rose from my jacket. I take a deep to calm my nerves again. "Let's do this," I chant, turning around.

And I wish I hadn't.

Kaminari's lips are against her's. And she's not pushing him away.

My entire body grows cold, everything in slow motion and muted as I watch them. I drop the stupid rose and run outside, slamming the door behind me. My breaths heave in my chest as I try to control my emotions. White hot fury, regret, and misery mix in my veins and my head becomes too heavy to bear. I feel like punching something and crying at the same time. I don't know who I'm more angry at. Kaminari for being a drunken asshole? Me for chickening out and ruining a perfect confession? (Y/n) for kissing him and leading me on this entire time?

I lean against the wall, clutching for something to hold onto as the world spins under my emotions. The thing that grounds me is the sound of the door opening.

"Bakugou?" her voice follows against the music. "Kiri said you ran out-"

My instincts act before I can stop myself, fueled by rage. I push her up against the wall with a thump. "What the fuck was that?" I growl from low in my throat. She freezes, knowing she was caught. "Why were you kissing that idiot? And why didn't you push him away?"

Her broken face betrays no words, she barely even wants to look at me, frustrating me eve more.

"Damnit!" I roar, slamming my hand into the wall next to her head, making her flinch. "I know you like me. Either that or you're leading me on for your own entertainment. Tell me the truth or I'm walking away."

(Y/n) finally lifts her head and stares into my eyes. She looks almost as emotional as I do. "Denki and me... We were together before!" She screws her eyes closed. "Things we just not working out, and when we broke up, I thought we were fine. We were both cool with it. But he was a drunken mess and he was crying about how much he missed me out of nowhere and I was just overwhelmed, okay!" She's shaking now, but manages to open her eyes and shoot me a malicious glare. "And how can you be angry?! I thought we were having a great time dancing and getting closer to each other and then you pull away! What was I supposed to think? I took that as a rejection!"

I groan out and scream, "I fucked up, I know!" My hand collides with the wall again, lolling my head onto her shoulder, breathing in her scent again. A mix of her and my anger makes me snap my head back up and grab her shoulders. "I... (Y/n)." My words won't come out, and I growl again. "I fucking like you! That's what I should've said and all this would've been avoided! I should've fucking kissed you when I had the chance!"

With that, I angrily smash my lips to her's. She tastes slightly of alcohol and the cherries I remember from our kiss a week ago. "I wanted to be the only one kissing you tonight," I murmur, crushing her into the wall with my body and attacking her again.

My heart skips a beat when she pulls me by my collar, moving her hands up and grabbing my nape, nails slightly digging into my skin. She kisses me just as angrily and passionately, each of us trying to dominate the other. Our kisses become sloppy as the heat rises between us, trying to nip at each other, me ultimately winning and capturing her swollen bottom lip between my teeth.

I push her away, both of us panting for breath. "Well? Are you just gonna kiss me or are you gonna say something?"

Her face turns a deeper shade of red. "I-I like you too. Stupid."

The way she's so flustered almost melts the anger out of me, but her acceptance of my feelings is what completely erases it. I clear my throat. "Good. So now you're mine. And if I catch that electric idiot trying to kiss you again, I'm pounding his face in."

She shoots me a look. "You don't have to act so tough. I know you're just insecure."

My face heats up. "Shut up, idiot. I'm not sharing you with anyone, that's all." I remember the rose and start frantically patting my jacket for it, until I look down and see it slightly worse for wear. I pick it up and cough. "God, I rehearsed this so well and look what happened."

(Y/n) plucks the flower out of my hand and pecks my cheek with a grin. "I think it was a lot hotter this way."

I chuckle. "You're right," I sneak my hands to her hips again, like it's become a new routine, "I'm not cut out for that vanilla bullshit anyway."

#bakugou x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou angst #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou imagine #bakugou scenario #female reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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