#if they were real they'd have a bunch more

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than tummies

Been thinking about plushies lately and wanted to make a set of fabric-themed Etrian Odyssey classes for playing as and fighting plushies

Scissorblade - A melee class that specializes in attack buffs and basic attacks, and wields limited elemental damage. Sharp Snip: Melee cut attack. Basic attacks guaranteed to crit next turn. Temper Blades: Increases physical damage and crit chance to one ally line for 3 turns. Double Attack: Passive. Gives a chance to make two basic attacks. Heated/Frosted/Static Edge: Increases physical damage and imbue basic attacks with fire/ice/volt to one ally line for 3 turns. Burning/Frigid/Voltic Cut: Melee cut+fire/ice/volt attack to one enemy line.

Ragstainer - A melee class specializing in ailments, with attacks that lower bind/ailment resistance and ailment attacks that can splash ailments. Rip Up: Melee cut attack. Lowers bind+ailment resistance for 3 turns. Mud Blot: Melee bash attack. Inflicts blind on all enemies in the row. Mud Splash: Inflicts blind on all enemies. On failure, reduces bind+ailment resistance for 3 turns. Bleach Bash: Melee bash attack. If the target has an ailment, remove it to greatly increase damage.

Night-Knight - A defensive melee class that can create extra HP in the form of padding and share it with allies to soak up damage. Fluff Up: Gain a large amount of padding. Auto Fluff: Passive. At start of combat, chance to use Fluff Up for free. Swaddle Ally: Gain some padding. One ally shares user's padding for 3 turns. Swaddle Line: Gain some padding. One ally line shares user's padding for 3 turns. Selfless Swaddle: Gain some padding. For 3 turns, all other party members share user's padding, but the user does not. Pillow Hammer: Melee bash attack. Spend all padding to increase damage proportional to padding spent. Nightfall Hammer: Melee bash attack. Stronger with less remaining HP.

Stitchstabber - A melee class with high speed that can use splash and piece attacks to stitch enemies together; when one enemy is hit by a single-target attack, all stitched enemies are hit. Side-Stitch: Melee stab attack that splashes to adjacent enemies. Hit enemies are stitched together. Straight-Stitch: Ranged stab attack that pierces enemy lines. Hit enemies are stitched together. Rending Needle: Accurate melee stab attack that reduces the target's evasion and physical defense this turn. Painful Needle: Melee stab attack that reduces the target's accuracy and physical attack this turn. Sever Life: Remove stitches to make a powerful ranged cut attack on all stitched enemies with a chance to instant-kill.

Laundromancer - A melee/support class with damage and healing skills that purge buffs/debuffs to increase potency. Dry Out: Melee fire attack that purges a buff and a debuff. If a debuff was removed, increase damage. Wring Out: Melee bash attack that purges all buffs and debuffs. Increase damage for each debuff removed. Soak: Heal an ally and purge a buff and a debuff. If a buff was removed, increase healing and restore TP. Wash Away: Heal a line of allies and purge a buff and a debuff. Increase healing and restore TP to each ally that lost a buff. Good as New: Revive a dead ally and restore a large amount of HP. Spin Cycle: Ranged ice attack to all enemies that purges all buffs and debuffs. Increase damage to all enemies for each debuff removed.

Threadspinner - A ranged class that can strike and bind enemy lines with lashes of thread, or throw needles that hit bound enemies extra hard. Head/Arm/Leg Lash: Ranged cut attack to an enemy line. Binds head/arms/legs. Coiling Lash: Ranged cut attack. Binds head+arms+legs. Piercing Needle: Ranged stab attack that pierces enemy lines. Increased damage to bound enemies. Vicious Needle: Ranged stab attack. Increased damage for each bind on the target. Needle Rain: 8 ranged stab attacks to random enemies. Cannot hit the same enemy more than three times. Increased damage to bound enemies.

Dyesplasher - A ranged class wielding elements, buffs/debuffs, and ailments, giving it a versatile and flexible toolkit. Red/Blue/Yellow Splat: Ranged fire/ice/volt attack. Inflict panic/poison/paralysis. Red/Blue/Yellow Wave: Ranged fire/ice/volt attack to all enemies. Color Cloak: Increases elemental defense to all allies. Red Ruin/Blue Blues/Yellow Yelp: Reduce fire/ice/volt resistance and physical attack/elemental attack/bind+ailment rate to an enemy line for 3 turns. Rainbow Mixture: For 3 turns, increase an ally's elemental damage and ailment rate, and make fire, ice, or volt attacks become fire+ice+volt. (note: due to the way damage types work in Etrian Odyssey, more elements is always better)

Plushstuffer - A ranged/support class that uses builds up stuffing as it uses basic skills, then uses it for powerful plushie skills. Cotton Catapult: Ranged elementless attack. Get 1 stuffing. Unwind/Pluck Off: Remove a bind/ailment from an ally and restore a small amoung of HP. Get 1 stuffing. Tiger Plushie: Spend all stuffing (max 3) to make 5 ranged bash attacks against random enemies. Cannot hit the same enemy more than twice. Increased damage with more stuffing. Frog Plushie: Spend all stuffing (max 3) to heal all allies and remove binds/ailments. Increased healing with more stuffing. Unicorn Plushie: Spend all stuffing (max 3) to attempt to revive/heal all allies. Increased chance with more stuffing, 100% at 3.

Outfitter - A support class with a wide arsenal of buff skills, which can be spread to buff multiple allies or combined to use multiple on one ally. Can also steal enemy buffs and bind them with restrictive clothing. Daring Clothes: Unlocks the Phys/Elem Attack, Act Speed, and Bind+Ailment Rate clothing skills. Practical Clothes: Unlocks the Phys/Elem Defense, Endure Chance, and Bind+Ailment Res clothing skills. Comfortable Clothes: Unlocks the Regeneration, TP Discount, and Accuracy+Evasion clothing skills. Fashion Line: Use a clothing skill on an ally line. Mass Production: Use a clothing skill on all allies. Custom Fit: Combine two clothing skills into 1 buff on an ally, then double the duration of that buff. Bespoke Garb: Combine three clothing skills into 1 buff on an ally. Catwalk Showoff: This turn, buffed allies deal more damage. Flattery: Steal a buff from an enemy and give it to all allies. Mask/Mittens/Heels: Inflict head/arm/leg bind on an enemy.

Patchmender - A support class with healing and cure skills that apply patches to allies, boosting their stats or negating binds/ailments. Athletic Patch: Heal an ally and boost their phys/elem attack for 3 turns. Athletic Mending: Heal a line of allies and boost their phys/elem attack for 3 turns. Reinforced Patch: Heal an ally and boost their phys/elem defense for 3 turns. Aromatic Patch: Heal an ally and give them regeneration for 3 turns. Patched Tear: Revive a dead ally and give them a chance to endure death once in the next 3 turns. Mended Knot/Stain: Remove a bind/ailment from a line of allies and negate the next bind/ailment they would receive in the next 3 turns.

#asks #the skills given are just a handful of examples #if they were real they'd have a bunch more #as usual the hardest part was the names lol #both class names and skill names #except for the Outfitter. that one was super easy and fun #also to explain Rainbow Mixture making elemental attacks have all elements: #if an attack has multiple elements the game uses the one that the target is weakest to #so that means that if you want to poison an enemy with Blue Splat but it's immune to ice you can make it fire+ice+volt to still deal damage #and if it's weak to fire then it'll take weakness damage even though it's immune to ice! #also Etrian Odyssey combat has a front line and a back line so that's what the “ally line” “pierces enemy lines” stuff is about #also binds are a really neat mechanic: each skill requires a certain body part (head/arm/leg) and if that part is bound you can't use it #so if the enemy is blasting you with powerful magic you can bind the head and they'll waste their turns trying and failing to cast spells #leg bind is the least useful bind tho because barely any skills use legs lol #it does negate enemy evasion tho! #i'm proud that i managed to make a full 10 because that's the amount that normal EO games have #though i'm just now realizing i want the thimbleknight to be blanket-themed instead #okay i changed it now it's the bedding-themed night-knight and all the skills are the same just with different flavor #had to make sure my love of blankets was sufficiently represented #ALSO i made Nightfall Hammer because you can have low HP but lots of padding so you're safe and i think that's neat #also also i'm just proud of some of the mechanics i made like padding and stitches because they're unique #i'm glad i was able to come up with enough ideas to not just be copying classes from the games

[emile-hides]

Can I interest you all in my extremely self serving Mario and Luigi game concept featuring Gooigi and Metal Mario as alternate reality Mario Bros?

I’ve been calling it Mario and Luigi: Elementals and it sounds dumb and that’s because it is dumb

The basic premise is E. Gadd didn’t actually make Gooigi, rather Gooigi is from a Universe where everyone is made of one pure element, and Gooigi ended up in our reality on accident.

Kind of

He splatted through a portal and was pretty much all but dead or “broken” as his universe would put it, but E. Gadd of our world manged to “fix” him, bringing him back. The problem is he lost all his memories, and also can’t speak.

That was a year ago today.

The Mario Brothers are visiting Professor Elvin Gadd in his research laboratory to see his latest invention, and also learn that Stuffwell has become Gooigi’s right hand man, and can even understand his blurbly speech. 

E. Gadd’s been fascinated with the portal Gooigi origonally came through for some time now, and has finally made a device that will (hopefully) open it once again. Mayhaps he can get more goo, make more Gooigis! How exciting!

If only the blasted thing worked

His device doesn’t turn on, or work at all, so he sends Mario and Luigi around the lab to fix multiple things; jumping, using the Spin/High jump moves, Mario drinks and spits water, the usual stuff all gets tutorialed at once this way until he’s finally ready to try again.

This time a massive portal opens, sucking in everything in the lab, mostly Luigi who was right next to it. Mario grabs Luigi, E. Gadd grabs Mario, Gooigi grabs E. Gadd, and Stuffwell complains about his unfinished Arm Modificationings

Mario’s grip slips, and Luigi goes flying into the portal, which then closes.

Luigi wakes up in a forest where everything is made of Rock. The Trees, the Ground, the over sized Mushroom kingdom looking mushrooms, all pure rock. Like sculptures. He looks around, calls for Mario a few times, cowars a bit, and then starts to wander, eventually coming across another research lab like E. Gadd’s

Inside is Professor Ectoplasm Gadd, a gooy translucent, almost ghostly like version of Professor E. Gadd, along with Rock Toads; Toads made purely or unpolished, rough rocks.

Ecto Gadd looks up from his machine that is very much like E. Gadd’s portal machine, and immediately starts making a ruckus about Luigi’s Return. He sends the Rock Toads off to “Go get his brother!” and starts marveling at Luigi’s new unique make-up, asking what he’s made of now, and apologizing for the accident.

Luigi Italianese babbles that he has no idea what Ecto Gadd is talking about and starts explaining the portal, when the door breaks down.

“Goodness! I know you haven’t seen eachother for a year now but you didn’t have to break my door!”

Metal Mario puts the door down to the side gently and approaches Luigi, looks him all over, takes a few steps back, and then punches a random machine, destroying it.

It takes a few moments for the shock to were off and for Luigi to notice Metal Mario is really broken up over his missing brother. Luigi does his best to comfort him, a little There There back pat turned into a spine crushing hug from Metal Mario.

Ecto Gadd realizes this is the Wrong Luigi and explains the portal machine, and how he’d been working on it ever sense Goo Luigi went missing. Luigi recognizes “Goo Luigi” as probably being Gooigi, which Metal Mario responds to by grabbing Luigi by his overall straps, picking him off the ground, and shaking him in a “You know where me brother is???? Where??? Take me to him!!!” kind of way.

Ecto Gadd says he can get the portal open again, but he needs more power for his machine to work and stabilize the portal, so he sends Luigi and Metal Mario off to the Plasma Kingdom together.

This is where gameplay starts and also my story concept kind of ends, so this is just all my thoughts mashed together now

You play as two sets of Bros through most the game (this first mission has them mixed up, but eventually swaps them back correctly); Mario and Luigi, and Gooigi and Metal Mario.

Mario plays the same as usual Mario games, High Attack and Speed, Low Defense and Health, if you don’t watch him he’ll become a Glass Canon

Luigi also plays the same, High Defense and Health, Low Attack and Speed, a random extra bit of Stache, might fall behind Mario if you’re not careful

Metal Mario plays sort of like an Extreme Luigi, with wild high defense and stupid slow, but he also hits like a truck with a crazy attack stat. He’ll go after everything else, but he will also likely kill it all in one hit. Also his and Gooigi’s Stache stat is called Sheen and might cause enemies to miss, rather than they randomly get lucky hits. They’re shiny.

Gooigi in turn is like an Extreme Mario, Wicked speed and abysmal defense, but with no attack to back it up. Instead, almost all of Gooigi’s basic attacks inflict status; Poison, Sleep, and Stuck (a Gooigi exclusive status in which the enemy is stuck in goo and can’t move), making him more of a set up for Metal Mario than his own attacker.

You switch between the two groups on set story beats as they traverse eachother’s worlds; Our usual Bros in the new Element lands, and the Element Bros in the usual Mushroom Kingdom worlds. Think like Bowser’s Inside Story meets the Peach sections of the Paper Mario games.

Mario and Luigi can do their usual jumps, the spin and high jumps, they cannot be separated, and eventually get the elemental Fire and Thunder attacks from Super Star Saga, and the Bros Ball from Partner’s in Time. These are also their Bros Attacks. No more shell or fire flower or weird surprise tube I hate those things.

Metal Mario and Gooigi get the hammer abilities, Metal Mario can smash Gooigi over the head to make him small and fit into small spaces and Metal Mario can drill into the ground to get beans. The two can be separated, usually when Metal Mario explores the ocean floor, as Gooigi dissolves in water and Metal Mario sinks.

I can’t decide what Metal Mario and Gooigi’s bros attacks will be. The main thing with them is they’ve been separated for a full year, and Gooigi’s memories are still missing, so they’re not as in-sync as the normal Bros are. Maybe they can have Bros Items from Partner’s in Time?

They’re a lot like the babies from Partner’s in Time I think, more immature and juvenile in my head. Metal Mario constantly forgets his own strength and breaks things on accident, and Gooigi is eager to help anyone who’ll give him a task. They’re both childishly curious about the world around them.

The twist would be someone sent Gooigi through that portal on purpose to get rid of him. I’m thinking a version of King Boo from this Elemental Dimension, but I haven’t thought on it too hard just yet. Maybe Ecto Gadd did it. That’d be fun.

Rose Gold Peach is there and she’s called Rose Gold Peach not Pink Gold Peach I hate that name she is Rose Gold and she’s a lot like Metal Mario in that she forgets her own strength a lot and ends up hurting regular Mario in funny slapstick ways just by interacting with him a lot.

The previously mentioned Plasma Kingdom is the Element Lands version of the Koopa Kingdom. I’ve been trying to decide if I want Bowser to be just pure Fire or not. Magma Bowser maybe? Where some of his upper layer has cooled so he looks like Bowser’s Fury Bowser in color scheme? The Goombas are wooden because I think that’s funny.

I also think the Elemental Bowser and Mario have a much more extreme rivalry compared to our usual duo. Where Mario and Bowser can square off every here and there and then also play tennis, the Elemental Mario and Bowser will fight to the death if squared off together. This Bowser also doesn’t have the Romantic Feelings for Peach to soften him, he wants her just as dead as he wants Mario.

His only soft spot then would be Bowser Jr., who I don’t know if he should be included because it feels like too many main story characters, but he’d be made of paint, and be gooy and fragile like Gooigi, this why Bowser, a Magma/Rock being, is so protective of his soft son.

Finally, I want Wario and Waluigi to be a sort of Rival Encounter to Metal Mario and Gooigi, Like Mid bosses that show up every other big event a little stronger than previously, sense they’re extreme versions Mario and Luigi, much like this version of Gooigi and Metal Mario are.

#Mario #Emile's Writings #Mario and Luigi #Should I give this a bunch of tags actually? It's just a lotta nothing #I have very specific animations and scenes in my head #But also like very particular game play as well #I know Mario&Luigi is dead I just really enjoy them #Can you tell Partner's in time is my favorite? I want another Partner's in Time SO badly #My main concept is the Regular Bros have BP while the Element Bros don't but I dunno what to replace that number with #but I was watching Mario Kart gameplay yesterday and the stiff way Metal Mario moves and his voice enraptured me #I like him I want him to be his own guy and I think he'd be a fun counter to Gooigi #I've had spesifically the way Metal Mario works in battle in my head for a while now actually #but for Wario #Like if Wario and Waluigi were in a M&L game they'd be Extreme Opposites of Mario and Luigi #But I could never figure out the rest #I have more I'll eventually do with this I'm sure I just wanted to put it down now while I'm still thinking on it #Thanks for reading if you did. You're a real one. #Edit: Adding more because I'm always adding more #The elements are meant to be like. Indicative of personality #So like Mario's kinda stubborn and wreckless and never gives up thus a hard element like metal #While Luigi is very much made of softer stuff and is a rather fluid character #As he kind of forms to whatever Nintendo needs him to be in the moment #Tumblr ate the rest of my tags rude. #Check the reblog for all my thoughts

[lizardsfromspace]

I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.

Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:

Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.

Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists

Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants

Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination

Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to

Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars

Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg

The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV

The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!

Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior

At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.

There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time

#television

[bluegiragi]

I hate to ask this cause it feels stupid but I dont wanna do a bunch of research on whatever the recent cod mw fandom discourse is,

but I saw the reblog of someone accusing you of supporting people who write sexualized pedophilia and that really is personally my only """"moral"""" with nsfw shit, (I'm a patreon subscriber and ig I just wanna know where my money's going) is THAT true?

this is such a never-ending nightmare.

i used to follow an artist who, 5-6 months ago made racist art featuring gaz in a slave context, which I didn't like, retweet or interact with in any way. they also made under-age art of ghost soap, which I also didn't interact with . people on twitter called me out yesterday, for retweeting art they'd made as evidence I stood by/encouraged/was an avid fan of all these tropes. Also, the art I retweeted wasn't either of these previous examples of art, but one where ghost and soap were sleeping in a bed together, as adults, peacefully. I can't emphasise enough that I have not interacted with this artist at all, for literally six months.

genuinely, my only crime is not unfollowing + blocking this artist earlier on, and then daring to retweet a fic tagged with "non-con" (ghost gets soap off in a context where he can't really properly consent, they're in front of a crowd of strangers and they have to fuck, but both parties are into each other) written by a friend as I wanted to support their writing.

and now i have pedophile claims because I accidentally retweeted a fandom bingo post that defended loli-con, and then immediately un-retweeted it when I properly read it.

And people are calling me a zoophile for supporting someone who wrote zoophilic fic and called people slurs (???) and I genuinely don't know who they're talking about there.

And the same people called me racist for making Horangi's eyes in the monster!AU sensitive because they thought I was making fun of Asian eyes. The real reason is because he's a cat hybrid and cats are sensitive to light (and I'm Chinese).

I tried addressing all this in a simpler way earlier on, and responded to an ask talking about my "support" for the artist who drew the slave Gaz art by saying the fanart in question was tone deaf and in poor taste. It wasn't enough for some people, so I'm happy to say it again - yes, it was racist, and the reason why I didn't want to be more aggressive is because I didn't want to extend all this mess by throwing this artist under the bus - I genuinely believed them when they said that wasn't that their intention, and think they should've deleted the post at the time.

And also I'm now called a rapist bc I like to entertain fics with dom/sub dynamics that dip into cnc, as an asexual woman who's personally repulsed by sex when it comes to myself.

That's everything so far. I really don't know what you people want from me anymore. I followed the wrong artist. I retweeted the wrong post. And I've undid those actions now. And for so many people to have taken literally everything spread by these people at face value, without even checking if their claims are true, is incredibly hurtful and isolating.

#there. the entire sequence of events #have fun i guess

[dukeofankh]

Trying to find progressive masculine community is so exhausting.

I've flipped through local men's groups, trying to find places to explore masculinity in a chill, progressive setting. First of all, they mostly seem to be modelled after AA, and like, my gender isn't a debilitating addiction, it's part of my identity actually, but also, the invite and description of the event have maybe a short paragraph tops actually waving vaguely in the direction of what the purpose of the group is, and then ten to twenty paragraphs breaking down the rules. One spent longer talking about the hand signals he would use to direct conversation than he did describing what the conversation would be about. Another had a full paragraph explaining that if the group thought you were evading what they thought your "real" problem was, they'd probably "call you to take accountability". Like...I don't even know who these people are yet and they're already letting me know that they view it as their right, no, their duty, to bully me into seeing things their way. Like, this is in the invite.

...and this warning is there instead of any sort of breakdown of like, I dunno. Whether you should be a feminist to show up. Whether it was a safe space for queer men. What the hell they wanted to talk about. Joining a men's space is on some level inherently submitting yourself to the authority of the leaders of that group, and you don't usually get a particularly clear breakdown of what the values and goals of those leaders are, because on some level the answer is always going to be "whatever I want"

And like, unfortunately you do need to filter men to build a men's space. You do need to remove or chastise men who act in ways that are toxic or disruptive or misogynistic. If you don't things turn into an MRA chapter pretty quick. But the sort of emergency powers that leadership takes on as a result of that...just kind of naturally end up reproducing masculine heirarchies.

MensLib, the only online community of progressive dudes talking about masculinity that I'm aware of, is...on Reddit. So there is a moderator system. In theory, a moderator is there to...moderate. This is a space where people are going to be talking, and mods are there to make sure things don't get too toxic or off topic.

The issue is that, on some level, that is technically a leadership position. In a sub trying to rehabilitate masculinity. So you've got a bunch of folks who view themselves as the leaders of this bastion of goodness standing against the depredations of the misogynistic internet, guiding the hapless smooth-brain neophytes towards The True Way.

In practice, this looks like 95 percent of the posts submitted for the subreddit being rejected. That isn't hyperbole. On average, the sub has about one new post per day. Almost all posts directly relating a personal experience are deleted immediately, in favour of articles written about masculinity in traditional media publications, which are considered more trustworthy than the sus lived experiences of the guys in the sub. The post I wrote here about the effect of purity culture on male sexual shame that's sitting at about 15K notes was based on a 10K word post I wrote for Reddit that was deleted because "I didn't cite any sources to prove that there is a link between purity culture and male sexual shame, or that my experience was anything more than anecdotal". I get comments deleted on a regular basis, and after paragraphs of protesting in modmail that my comments are both fully in line with feminism and not against the rules, the mods have just finally told me that the rules don't actually drive their actions as a team. They delete anything they feel leads the conversation in a direction they personally feel is unproductive. The rule cited at the time of deletion is really just the broad category of why they decided to hit the button that says nobody is allowed to read what I wrote.

The issue is kind of twofold. First of all, progressive men do not trust other men. A good dude knows that he, individually, is a good person, but literally any other man external to him is on thin ice. Do you really want to tie your wagon to that guy? Do you trust him, really? How do you tell the difference between a guy criticizing an article because it's factually incorrect and criticising it because a woman wrote it? Probably best to play it safe and delete it. Weight of the odds, he's probably a misogynist, right? This is the internet.

And thats the other half of it. If you view yourself as part of the leadership of The Good Guys, and you're getting hatemail from incels and facists all day, you get to the point where most of the time people challenge your authority it's because they're a terrible person. It is very, very easy to get to the point where someone challenging you is seen as evidence that they are a bad person. And now someone is challenging you (and therefore bad), in an environment where you are in charge, and you have a "make your opponent disappear" button.

I know. A Reddit mod was rude to me and now I'm butthurt. It's petty and stupid. I'm just feeling like there's nowhere else to really go, and I'm pretty despondent that literally every space I've seen that even looks like it might be for progressive men has the same deeply hierarchical structure and constant status-oriented squabbling as patriarchal spaces.

#me writing stuff #positive masculinity #menslib

[vendetta-ari]

So, I was wondering if you could come up with some head cannons on what would cause the winged characters' (i.e. Lucifer, Lute, Adam, Valentino) wings to suddenly unfurl?

Heyy this ask was a lotta fun and I hope you enjoyy! I also added Vaggie to this bc she has wings too- either way, hope you like it anon!!

(Word count = 1255)

WARNINGS!! [probably our of character for vaggie, I've never written her before, SUGGESTIVE PARTS WITH VALENTINO, LUCIFER AND ADAMS, kinda angsty and cringe??

Vaggie

》She can usually control her wings just fine, they don't usually unfurl without warning and they always stay hidden

》However, when she's upset they usually fly out

》 during an argument with her, she started getting all quiet before lashing out and yelling at you, her wings flying out

》Such beautiful wings too, a shame it had to happen at a time like this.

》She realized what she had just done and felt awful, a gut wrenching awful. she got misty eyes before tell you she needed to be alone for a bit

》 after a few hours Vaggie came running back to you, embracing you into her arms and hugging and holding you tightly

》her wings wrapped around you before she let out a bunch of incoherent sobs

》 “I-i'm so sorry I'm sososo sor-ry sorry- i-i really didn't mean to I jus- I just … I'm so sorry..” she was really broken up about it.. it was a big argument after all, so it made sense.

》 You sighed, taking her into her arms, and dragging her to the couch, accepting her apologies and telling her “It's okay, it wasn't anyone's fault. tensions were just high and- it's okay just let it all out m’kay? dear?” you said, your voice was shaky

》You'd be lying if you said Vaggie's crying didn't affect you, you tried hiding your tears, trying to be strong for her before a few tears slipped and you both laid on the couch.

Valentino 

~ Like vaggie, he has good control of his wings and rarely use them

~However, his wings are a lot more sensitive.

~ his only real weak spot actually, that's why he usually just keeps them tucked away

~ poor you though, you didn't know, it's not really your fault for being so clueless.

~You were just done filming, and you stayed after. you and val were good friends and weren't ever really on bad terms so you always chilled with him after scenes and certain sets

~When you looked behind him his wings caught your eye, you almost forgot he was a moth and had wings, so you were pretty intrigued. 

~Oh but how curiosity killed the cat. walking up behind him you brushed his wings and ran your hands up and down them

~He shivered, turning around quickly to see you messing around with his wings. he was pissed, hes fucking killed bitches for pulling such bullshit stunts like this.

~But he didn't really wanna kill you, at least not yet, he chuckled as an evil smirk spread across his face. “Were these what you wanted to see mi vida?”

~His wings spread out, largely, they were probably double your size, you looked at them with awe before Val grabbed you by the wrist “Now. you should know not to ever touch these again. but since your so fucking dumb, I'll just have to show you a lesson hm?”

Lute

*Lute, unlike the other two usually always has her wings out

*She likes showing em off, she thinks they're pretty

*And well, she's not wrong they are some of the most beautiful wings you've ever seen

*but the thing is, she always has them out. like to let them stretch and what's the point of hiding them? Shows how she's an angel, exterminator, and a bad bitch.

*So a better question really is, what makes Lute hide her wings? since she always has them out when and why does she put them away? two reasons.

*Well first answer is pretty simple, when she's in front of someone greater and higher than her role she'll put them away for the time being. It's just proper manners after all. Plus if she had her wings out in front of someone higher, they'd realize how much better she and her wings are, and let's not make others insecure now Lute.

*The other reason is a bit more complicated 

*When lute is feeling sad or down, shell curl up her wings behind her and wrap her arms around her knees and just curl up into a ball

*You found her like this once, and god were you so confused- you tried asking her what was wrong but to no avail, she barely gave you a response let alone an answer to your question 

*You sighed, assuming she just didn't really wanna talk about it. so you sat down next to her and rested your head on her shoulder, grabbed her hand and smiled “I'm here for you Lute.” you spoke softly. and you swear you caught a glimpse of lute blushing and smiling, but who knows- she denies it every time anyway.

Lucifer

☆ Lucifer is 50/50.

☆While he usually has his wings kept tucked away behind him, he's no opposed to having them out, he doesn't really care

☆Whether his wings unfurl or not is usually random too, he doesn't even notice when they're out half the time too.

☆He'll usually use them to get things high up or travel from place to place, only for convenience purposes 

☆He doesn't like looking at his wings though, he's insecure about them, being a constant reminder of what he's been through, the poor fallen angel.

☆He has good control over them, they don't ever “accidentally” unfurl out when he gets mad or anything like that. he uses them only when he needs to

☆But you? oh no you're different. it's almost like their your wings with the way you have such control over them

☆By just a light touch the fluff up and out, they're usually unkempt by the way Lucifer doesn't like his wings too much, but you'll always fix up his wings for him, preening and brushing them for him

☆They will always fly out on cue when you two both end up on his bed after a long day, making out and leaving hickeys all over him

☆Fuck him infront of the mirror with his wings out

Adam

-Adam is a lot like lute, where he'll have his wing our all the time, except it's even less likely for him to ever hide them

-For being the first man he is kinda unkempt though. 

-you always have to preen him and take care if his wings for him, keeping up his handsome and pretty wings

-If it weren't for you this idiot would just be walking around with messy and gross unkempt wings.

-He should really be thanking you though, he makes preening him so goddamn difficult 

-He always squirms and moves around, and he keeps his wing close to you, barely letting you touch them let alone preen them

-Adam hates when people touch his wings. he won't let anyone do it, your the exception however 

-and even being the exception he will be so stubborn with letting you touch them despite the countless times you've both done this, he will always be stubborn and difficult and he will never fully sit still and let you help him.

-He growls as you touch his wings, folding them around himself making it harder for you. as you groan in annoyance he reluctantly moves them a hit, making things easier for you “Just be fuckin careful bitch..” he mutters under his breath.

-Unlike Lucifer though, Adam will surprisingly try to hide his wings during sex. As said before he doesn't like people touching his wings so there's no real point for them to be out like that, he will fail though, and when he cums they spread out for a bit, before the post but clarity hits and he hides then once again, you can never win.

-xoxo Ari

#lute x reader #adam x reader #lucifer x reader #vaggie x reader #valentino x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel fluff #hazbin hotel angst #hazbin hotel comfort #hazbin hotel romantic #lute #adam #vaggie #Valentino #lucifer

[avatar-anna]

Rumors

so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!

yourinstagram

liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others

yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music

yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!

y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?

yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))

harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.

harryfan3: HARRY???

harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg

y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it

harrystyles

liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others

harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.

harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT

harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE

harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?

y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together

yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx

y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT

harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting

harryfan13: honestly...here for it

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others

y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!

"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."

y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her

y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house

y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense

harryfan13: girl...

y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no

harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist

y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together

harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!

harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with

harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?

harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross

y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭

harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹

hsupdates

liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others

hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:

"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."

harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates

y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course

y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good

harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭

y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼

liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others

yourinstagram

yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl

y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??

yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶

y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!

y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again

harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?

y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws

harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA

harrystyles: ☀️☀️

y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?

harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all

harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES

y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together

Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?

Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.

I: Really?

H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.

I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?

I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.

H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.

H: It's hard not to.

I: How so?

I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.

H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.

H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.

H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?

harrystyles

liked by jeffazoff and 4,211,323 others

harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.

harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭

harris_reed: little angel👼

harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU

yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐

harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐

yourinstagram

liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others

yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))

harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!

harryfan4: is she in ny??

y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today

harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship

harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.

harryfan3: they're so...

y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not

y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them

harryfan5: ^^

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan10 and 3,742 others

y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!

y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"

harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭

y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!

harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?

y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS

harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says

hs/ynupdates

hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.

harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?

y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅

y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it

y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹

yourbandinstagram

liked by taylorswift, harrystyles and 710,225 others

yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!

y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT

harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night

harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.

yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭

I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.

Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.

I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?

Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.

I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?

Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.

I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?

Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.

I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?

Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.

I: So just a friend then?

Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

So. I just failed out of my masters program, because Reasons. (Ultimately, it came down to not being about to handle A Lot of Real Life and grad school at the same time). Do you have any words of reassurance when it comes to trying again?

Sure! The thing with situations like this is that you don't ask yourself 'What did I do wrong?' Instead, ask yourself 'What did I learn?' It's much more constructive and much more likely to actually result in useful life developments

In this case... what did you learn? You clearly had a rough time of things, so be specific. What was helpful? What wasn't? What would have been?

I failed my first attempt at a degree, back in the day, thanks to a combination of a bunch of family deaths and also undiagnosed ADHD. When it came to trying again, a few years later, I had to sit down and work out where the barriers were for me, and what I could do to overcome them. In my case, it's absolutely imperative, if I study academically, that I aim for 100%, and that I set my own early deadlines for every assignment. If I let myself aim for 'good enough', I start leaving things until the last minute, phoning things in, missing lectures... and then I fail.

But I also need to study part time. Full time study rushes me too much, and makes me phone it in, which as mentioned, is very bad for me. All of my subsequent study has been part time, and I've done much better with it.

So in your case, what would have helped? It's individual to everyone, but be honest with yourself. Would part time study have helped? Extra time on deadlines? A dedicated workspace? Working with the student support system sooner/more closely? These are things you can plan for when you try again. I never tried accessing student support the first time around, and who knows, maybe they'd have been shit. But I now know as a lecturer that they should have been my first port of call.

But I think the biggest thing I can tell you is that, sometimes, it just wasn't the right time in your life to try it, and that's okay, because it doesn't mean it's not right for you at all. Life is a series of peaks and troughs. Sometimes it turns out you were in a trough. That's going to be a challenging time to attempt post grad study! But a few years later you're out of the trough, and suddenly it's all much easier.

Don't be afraid of trying again. You didn't fail through lack of ability. You just need to work out the conditions that will work for you, that's all. Best of luck with your next turn on the merry-go-round, and please try not to let this hit your self esteem too badly.

#asks #the professional world of careers and tasks

[judeswhore]

out of your league; steve harrington

summary: steve’s friends refuse to believe his secret girlfriend is the pretty girl from the bakery and are more than a little surprised when you actually show up

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

requested: yes

warnings: none

notes: you can find my masterlist here.

“you’re so full of shit.”

“are you being serious right now?”

“bullshit, harrington.”

“why would i lie?”

“why would y/n date you?” dustin and steve sat opposite each other at a table in benny's diner, glares almost identical although dustin looked just slightly more bewildered than the older boy. steve had his arms crossed defensively, brow creased in slight annoyance over the fact his friends were refusing to believe who his girlfriend was. they'd been arguing about it for the past fifteen minutes since he'd declared you'd be joining them for lunch, dustin and max insisting that a girl as hot as you was far too cool to even consider dating him. it had been four months since you’d called it official, almost five months since your first date but steve had held off on even telling his friends he knew you, mainly because in all honesty, they were right, you were far too cool to even hang out with him.

"because i'm hot and charming and a total killer with the ladies?" this made robin snort from the seat next to him and he threw her the biggest glare he could muster, squashing his palm down on to the tiny origami swan she'd been making out of a napkin. her response was a quick kick to his ankle beneath the table, her own glare withering.

“you’re unnervingly full of yourself.”

“i’m factual.”

“factual schmactual, there is no way y/n l/n is the secret girl who’s been leaving love notes at the counter.” a snort sounded from across the table, max not even bothering to hide it as she grinned teasingly at steve.

“you’ve been getting love notes?”

“and sending them.” at that she only laughed harder, robin giggling a little behind her hand and steve wanted the ground to swallow him whole. his face was burning, the tops of his cheeks and ears no doubt a startling shade of red and he vowed to himself this was the last time he was treating them to lunch.

“i still refuse to believe it’s y/n,” dustin picked at the corner of the menu he was looking at, head shaking while he took quick glances at steve. “i mean, why were you keeping her a secret? shouldn’t it have been the other way around?”

“dude?”

“i’m serious, max back me up, y/n is way out of his league.” the other girl nodded, tore a napkin in half, placing one part at each end of the table. she pointed to the one closest to the window, just beside robin.

“this is y/n, all pretty and smart, basically owning that bakery she works in because customers can’t get enough of her and, let’s be real, she’s hot and a total charmer.” max shifted and pressed her finger to the other napkin, almost shoving it off the table before sending a pointed look at steve. he knew what was coming but still he raised his brows, crossed his arms over his chest. “this is you. recommending movies to people and badly at that, practically scaring customers away with your awful flirting and spending most of your time with a bunch of kids. compared to her? you’re a loser, harrington.”

“so forgive us if we think she’s just in a whole other ball park to you.” steve huffed, narrowed his eyes at his ridiculous and right now regrettable best friend but in the back of his head he knew they were right.

steve was a total loser compared to you and it was a surprise to even him when you actually wanted to go on a date with him. he’d been hanging around your bakery for weeks at that point, so pathetically into you his friends would not have hesitated to mock him and by the time he finally found the courage to speak to you, you beat him to it. you had asked him out and at first he’d simply stared at you, his mouth a little slower than his brain and your soft laugh and even softer smile was what kicked him into gear. his cheeks had flushed and he’d nodded, almost knocked your tips jar to the floor in an attempt to look cool as he leant against the counter.

“you can pick me up tonight at eight, harrington, i like movies.” you’d sent him a flirty grin, grazed his knuckles as you passed him his doughnut and he’d watched a little star struck as you disappeared through the back door. it was even more of a surprise to him that your date had been a success because he’d been so nervous his palms were damp the entire night and he’d changed his shirt six times before leaving because it didn’t look right. but you liked him, despite as dustin and max were now claiming, being way out of his league, and one date led to another and another until he was certain he wasn’t gonna let you go and now months down the line he was ready to introduce you to his friends. even if they did think he was lying.

"i can't believe you lot think i'm lying about this." steve grumbled, slumped a little in his seat and let his gaze wander to the door. he wished you'd hurry up because this grilling was slowly turning into one of the worst experience of his life, and he'd fought a monster with a diy killer bat.

"we've seen the way you flirt, steve." robin had gone back to folding max's half shredded napkin.

"there's nothing wrong with how i flirt." three pairs of eyes landed on him, three similar expressions of disbelieving faces but it was whatever. you liked his flirting. "y/n has no issues with how i flirt, she's more than satisfied." dustin, his head always somewhere it shouldn't be, grimaced, launched a balled up napkin straight at steve's forehead.

"gross."

"that's not what i meant, dickhead."

"y'know, if you really have been secretly dating her this whole time i'm gonna be so pissed." max folded her arms on top of the table, tapped her fingers a little and steve furrowed his brows, head cocking to one side.

"why exactly?"

"because we could have been getting those cherry and cream pastries for free, moron. you totally haven't been utilising the perks right." this time it was max who got a balled up napkin flicked in her direction, the white ball hitting her square between the eyebrows. "hey!"

"she's my girlfriend, maxine, i'm not pimping her out for pastry because you won't buy your own." dustin made a noise under his breath and shook his head.

"girlfriend, you keep saying girlfriend but where exactly is-?" the diner bell jingled as the door opened and dustin cut off immediately, him and max lifting over the back of the booth to see who was walking in. “bullshit.”

“no fucking way, harrington.” the grin that formed on steve’s face was bright and adoring, his heart thumping a little louder in his chest when he set his eyes on you. he’d seen you only last night but he’d missed you and fleetingly he wondered if he could just turn you right back around and take you to his house. he wasn’t sure he wanted to share you anymore.

when the door clattered shut behind you the gust of wind fluttered your dress and he had a struggle keeping his eyes on your face as you smoothed it back down, your bare legs a constant distraction to him. your head turned, eyes searching the diner and steve lifted his hand in a wave, your face lighting up in that smile he loved so much before you were heading over. he just scooted a little on the bench to give you space and then you were dropping down beside him, all eyes on you but your eyes were on him, soft and glinting, just a little mischievous.

“hey, you.” your voice was a soft whisper, barely understandable to the rest of the group but it tickled a little over his lips. your thigh was smushed into his, your arm just as close and the smell of your perfume made him dizzy, drunk on everything that was you. your lips were plump and glossy, begging for a kiss but it seemed you had similar ideas because you were leaning in before he even had chance to think.

it was a quick kiss, gentle and fleeting but still stomach knottingly nice that he had to hum quietly, his hand reaching to squeeze your thigh. “hey, baby.” in the background steve heard max’s gag and muttered “baby” in a mocking tone but now that you were here he wasn’t all that bothered by their teasing because now they’d been proven wrong. you did like him and he most certainly hadn’t been lying.

there was a patch of flour on your jaw and grinning steve gently rubbed it away, his thumb soft over your skin before he planted a kiss in the very same spot. he knew it was an unnecessary amount of pda and he was aware all three of his friends were ogling you both but he was more than happy to show you off, pda and all. robin’s foot suddenly connected with his beneath the table and he turned a glare on her, his arm falling around your shoulder as you tucked yourself into his side.

“aren’t you going to introduce us, harrington?” he opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it, turning that knee weakening smile on his friends. max and dustin were staring, both looking a little dumbfounded because they’d been one hundred percent convinced steve was just messing with them.

“hi, i’m y/n, steve said it was okay if i had lunch with you? i didn’t wanna intrude or anything but i’m kinda sick of eating collin’s sandwiches.” there was a chorus of hello’s, your smile only growing as you swirled your ring around and around your finger.

“you have collin’s sandwiches for lunch?” robin sounded incredulous, her face twisted into a grimace as she leant against the table to see passed steve’s body. “they’re so dry and gross.”

“right? and i don’t even wanna know what his mystery meat is but it’s definitely not chicken.” you shuffled a little further into steve and he ran his thumb over your arm, his chest feeling light as he watched you with his friends. “i mean, i don’t really eat them all that much anymore, steve usually brings me lunch or we go out but even once a week is too much.”

“steve brings you lunch?” max was grinning, all teasing and light and steve knew he was never going to hear the end of it. he rolled his eyes.

“so what, mayfield? i’ve brought you lunch before.”

“oh man, this is so different, you’re like whipped.” she shook her head, blew out a breath. “god, wait till i tell lucas.” despite steve’s grumble you laughed, turned and kissed his jaw.

“i take it your friends don’t know how romantic you are?”

“steve? romantic? he thinks the best way to a girls heart is to ignore her.” dustin was smirking, thumbing at the menu again and steve only shook his head, tugged the paper away from him.

“i was young and an idiot.”

“you’re still an idiot.”

“are you going to argue with everything i say today?” the younger boy shrugged but he was smiling, more than happy seeing how happy steve was because as much as they all teased him, he deserved to be happy. and he deserved to be loved. it had been mere minutes since you’d sat down but they’d all seen the shift in him, the way his eyes never seemed to leave your face for long, or the way they lit up whenever your spoke, the soft smile he was wearing and the little glow to his cheeks. steve loved you, whether he was aware of it yet or not and dustin was more than happy about that.

“before we get food can we clear this one thing up?” everyone turned to dustin, his face serious as he eyed you. for a second steve was worried what he might say but as soon as he spoke the older boy was rolling his eyes again, leaning forward to knock the cap down over dustin’s face. “how much is he paying you to be his girlfriend?”

#stranger things #stranger things smut #stranger things blurb #stranger things fic #stranger things one shot #joe keery #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic

[thefanficmonster]

Piss off your parents pt.1

PART 2

PART 3

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: You just wanted to rebel a little, how did it get to this?

"Y/N, you're fucking insane." Colby grumbles, struggling as he unbuckles one of his best friends out of the backseat of his car. She, however, seems completely unbothered by him maneuvering her into an upright position. She's giggling, actually, a direct contrast to her mascara streaked cheeks. She's drunk, wasted. Three sheets to the wind, if you will.

He already had to put two other drunk messes to bed tonight, Y/N's his third. He should be getting paid per person and per difficulty. Nate was the easiest to subdue, followed by Sam who put up a brief 'I'm not even drunk, dudeeee' kind of fight. And now her.

The party was at Sam's house so the previous two didn't require any special treatment other than being dunked into Sam's bed. Y/N however...

She'd pleaded with Colby, the most sober one of the bunch, to just let her be. Let loose, get drunk, flirt around a bit. That being said, four hours later - two hours past her curfew - when he tried prying her away from the drink table she put up one hell of a fight.

"You have the balance of a newborn giraffe! You're done! I'm cutting you off!" He'd yelled over the music, hearing his own parents' scolding in his tone but he ignored it. He had to take on the parenting role with his friends, it was his turn after all. He knows they'd do the same - they've done the same - when he was plastered. He owed them the same curtesy. Especially Y/N.

She's usually on parenting duty, not really on the heavy drinker side. But after the fight with her parents she told him about earlier, he can't blame her for wanting to drown it out with a few extra shots.

A few too many extra shots.

He was planning on just safely storing her in one of the guestrooms for the night and playing nurse the following morning when all three would undoubtedly have a hangover. But that's when Y/N's cognitive thought kicked in.

"My parents are gonna kill me if I don't make it home tonight! I can't sleep here!" She was - and still is - heavily slurring her words but the thought of further pissing off her folks drove her into an almost sobering panic. "Call me an Uber while I find my shoes. What time is it?"

Colby had carefully dodged around answering that question, knowing it would send her into a full blown heart attack knowing she was running so late. He tried telling her on time but she'd blown him off, saying she didn't care about the stupid curfew or at least that's how much he'd caught from her string of slurred rambles.

"You're not getting an Uber at this hour. Come on, I'll drive you." He'd said reassuringly as he picked up one of her stray shoes.

They soon found the second one and her missing purse and within fifteen minutes they'd gotten in his car and were gliding down the road with the speed of a tortoise. At this point in time Colby was neither drunk nor tipsy but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets as he operated the vehicle.

"I don't wanna go to Barton!" He'd believed she was asleep after the long stretch of silence following their departure so her sudden exclamation was quite startling.

"You won't, Y/N. You're coming with us to LA, remember?" He believed in that lie as much as she did, but he needed to soothe her somehow.

"Not according to mom! I'm gonna be stuck here in Kansas all my life!" Her anger was now engulfed by sobs Colby gently offered tissues for.

He stayed quiet and let her ramble, only partially listening to the words spilling directly from her heart. He especially tried drowning out the part where she went on a whole rant abut her massive crush on Nate.

But, alas, he wasn't successful, seeing as how he was white-knuckle-gripping the steering wheel more than half the way to her house.

That's how they've ended up here - one a giggly and mascara stained drunken mess and the other a bitter and regretfully sober babysitter. Well, babysitter, Uber driver and therapist all in one. He really should start charging for his services.

He wraps one of Y/N's arms around his shoulders, securing it there by holding her hand while his other arm fixates itself around her waist to keep her upright and at least semi steady on her feet.

With a silent prayer, he tries pushing the front door open with zero luck. It's locked.

He's cycling through all the stages of grief as he comes to terms with the fact that he will, unfortunately, have to ring the bell and alert Y/N's parents of their arrival.

He does just that, although quite begrudgingly, sighing heavily when he sees a light turn on through one of the windows. The sound of oncoming footsteps follows.

His eyes are soon met with the unpleasant glare of Y/N's mom who - as he's picked up on from their handful of interactions - already isn't very fond of him.

Just him!

She's lovely to Sam and Nate, but he's not extended the same curtesy. You can visibly see the air around her get colder when she approaches him whereas she's always been so kind and welcoming to the other two people in their friend group. He hasn't been able to figure out why. Bringing it up to Y/N proved futile as she just shrugged and shook her head.

"No clue, Colbs. But don't take it personally. She's just like that." She had said, but it didn't sit right with Colby. It made no sense. And it continues to bother him.

And unnerve him, specifically now as he's being stared down by her icy gaze.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mrs. Y/L/N....just bringing Y/N home. She had a little too much to drink." There's no way in hell he could've concealed her drunkenness. She's hanging off of him with her head bowed, her hair forming a curtain over her face. He wouldn't be surprised if he were to find her already asleep.

"You know where her room is." There's an edge to her scoff that could slit a man's throat, but Colby chooses not to dwell on it. Truly, he can't, seeing as how she's already moving away from the doorway and down the hall into the living room, leaving him to deal with the mess she thinks he caused.

He can't find it in himself to be offended right now, although he probably will be later. He has bigger fish to fry.

And so, with his options limited, he opts to pick her up bridal style so he can easily carry her up the stairs. He hopes to God her parents don't see this and get the wrong idea.

Oh if he only knew what's to come...

As carefully as he can, he settles his unconscious best friend on her bed, tucking her in. He's murmuring reassuring words under his breath as he does so, not sure if they're meant for her or him but in the end it all works out.

"Night, Y/N." With that whispered in the darkness of the room and a gentle kiss on her temple, he makes his exit, briefly stopping at the bottom of the stairs to peek into the living room, "Good night, Mrs. Y/L/N."

"It's almost morning." Her reply is on-par with most of their interactions so he just pushes past it, shaking his head slightly before leaving out the front door.

As he does so, he notices the sky has taken on a brighter shade of blue, signaling Y/N's mom really wasn't exaggerating. With a sigh, he gets back behind the wheel, heading to Sam's house to check on his other two patients.

* * * * *

Her head is pounding but you'd never be able to tell from the giant grin on her face as she sprints through the neighborhood, skipping through backyards and hopping the occasional fence to cut the trip short. The strap of a duffle bag is slung over her shoulder, she's clutching onto it tightly. It has all her belongings in it, after all. It's of upmost importance she doesn't lose it.

That's be rather unfortunate right after spontaneously moving out, wouldn't it?

She wouldn't say she got kicked out of the house per-se. That would indicate that she was thrown out against her will. Quite the contrary actually. She was more than happy to leave. Had she known those were the magic words, she would've said them so much sooner.

She catches herself before she can make a face-first collision with Sam's front door, stopping to catch her breath and knock a couple of times. And a couple more times. And a few more times.

It's safe to say she's impatient. But with the news she has, you can't blame her.

"Stop! Stop!" A disheveled Sam finally opens the door, one hand partially covering his pale face, "Too loud..."

Y/N gives herself a moment to feel guilty and hug him apologetically before dashing inside. "Colby's here, right?"

"Yeah!" She hears his voice coming from the kitchen and immediately makes a beeline in his direction, dropping her bag in the foyer.

Upon entry, she finds Colby and Nate sitting by the kitchen island, both in different stages of 'the morning after'. Despite the crippling headache, however, the latter finds it in him to give her a genuine smile, sliding off the stool to envelop her in a hug.

"Aww, is someone hungover?" She mocks Nate, sneaking a sip from his Gatorade.

"Hey!" He complains, reaching over to snatch the bottle from her, "Give it back! I need it way more than you do."

Colby, unable to stomach their interaction - for reasons he doesn't want to get into right now - busies himself by looking down at his phone.

He's known of Y/N's little crush on Nate for months now. At first it was only speculation based off her demeanor around him. And then it was more like a punch to the gut when she tipsily confirmed it one night.

"Colbs?" Her voice snaps him out of his brief bitter spiral, forcing him to look up, "Can I borrow you outside for a sec?"

He's struggled with saying 'no' to her since the day they met. Not that he wants to turn her down, he just wishes he could.

And wishes she didn't. Without even knowing it. Turn him down, that is.

With a nod, he follows her out to the patio where the sun isn't kind to either of them, adding gasoline to the fire of their raging hangovers.

"Sup?" Try as he might, he has never been good at feigning nonchalance around her.

It's surprising to see her nervous. For once, he believes their playing field to be even. "So...I've got good news wrapped up in bad news."

Her words would panic him a lot more had she not come in like a force of nature with a gleaming smile adorning her face. Still, it's not at the top of the list of things he wants to hear on a Saturday morning. So, with an exaggerated sigh, he signals for her to continue, "I'm all ears. The last twenty four hours can't get much worse."

He watches her face twist as she cringes, well aware she's about to prove him wrong, "Well...." With a deep breath, she finally spits it out, "The good news is, I'm coming with you guys to LA."

Colby doesn't spare a second, momentarily forgetting the bad news she'd mentioned as he scoops her up in a hug, "No fucking way! Hell yeah! I fucking told you!" He can't describe the immense joy and relief he's feeling right now. "Kiss that Barton College shit goodbye!"

Giggling, Y/N kicks her feet, looking for solid ground beneath them. Not that she's in a rush to be set back down. In fact, for a split second, she wishes this moment could last forever.

But, she's aware it's impossible.

Suddenly, she feels guilt creeping in for even letting that thought run loose in her head. She doesn't even know how or why it popped up.

She just knows she's about to ruin it all.

"One problem..." It's actually far more than one, but they'll dissect that later on. She just has to get the main one out the way, "You see, how that came to be...."

"You have no shame! You get wasted at parties, break rules, come home past curfew." Mrs. Y/L/N's voice is shaking the house, echoing twice as loudly in Y/N's head as she's just trying to eat a bowl of cereal. "Random people are bringing you home at dawn!"

She has the gull to argue back, "Colby is not just some random person, mom!"

"Oh yeah, he of all people was the one bringing you home! What the hell, Y/N?!"

Her mom has never liked Colby. The problem is, no one knows why. Y/N isn't sure if her mom even knows why. She tried asking once, it didn't go over so well.

But that's when two and two click together into a four in her head - a bright idea. Actually, 'dim' would be better. Nothing bright is welcome within her proximity with the splitting headache she's nursing.

Without a second thought, she blurts out: "What's so wrong with having my boyfriend take me home after a party?"

Her words ring out like a gunshot in the quiet house. Yet they are nothing in comparison to the explosion of her mother's anger in response.

Colby's mouth is hanging open, his gaze piercing through more so than focusing on his friend.

She, on the other hand, is sweating bullets, anxiously waiting for him to say something and break the long silence that has fallen upon them. When he doesn't, she wills herself to whisper a mousy little "I'm sorry."

Finally, a voice leaves his parted lips: "Y/N, you're fucking insane."

#sam and colby #colby brock #colby brock x reader #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x you #colby brock fanfic #colby brock imagine #colby brock smut #colby brock fic #sam golbach smut #sam golbach imagine #sam golbach #nate hardy #nate hardy x reader #nate hardy imagine #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader #x reader #requests open

[shirakow]

˗ˏˋ꒰ synopsis ꒱ ; you accidentally summoned a demon , and he can't leave without doing something for you: either kill someone, or... Fuck you.

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍇 pair ⋅ ˚✮ ; Devil!Rody Lamoree x FTM!Reader .

. . . words ; 3.5k+

EXTRA ! porn with plot , also request box is open for people who want more studio investigrave related fics !

Summoning demons wasn't really in your bucket list for this year, but somehow, you were pushed to the breaking point. You never thought they'd go this far for an april fools prank.

Sure you've always known they held a small hate for you—actually, small was a bit of an understatement but it's whatever, your anger was far deeper than the dislike they had for you anyway—but you never thought they'd decide to bring you to an abandoned warehouse, topped with a summoning circle drawn on the ground with what you hoped was ketchup, and proceeded to leave.

You never took them for the cultist types, then again, they always did sacrifice you on multiple occasions (those sacrifices being leaving you to take the blame while they ran from the cops for trespassing on private property and a bunch of other things).

A sigh escaped past your lips as you recalled all the times they've done you wrong, and decided that once you're out of this place, you're dropping them for good. "I'm going home." You whispered as you stared at the red pentagram on the dirty cement floor, decorated with a lit candle on each end of the star. You then proceeded to turn around and jumped out of your skin when a rat appeared in front of you.

You gasped and stumbled backwards, only to trip over a stick that was conveniently placed right behind your heel, and fell back on the ground; laying inside the pentagram your friends had drawn. A loud groan erupted from your throat as you tried to scramble away from the rat—which had long since disappeared—and accidentally cut yourself on the broken cement.

With a hiss, you looked at your finger and watched as a trickle of blood dripped down onto the floor. You sighed and wiped it away on your shirt while you stood up, "Fuck this, fuck them—" you were gonna run to their house, and slap every single one of their fucking faces.

As the thought passed through your head, a sudden gust of wind blew through you, and the once lit candles were put out. You paused and looked around you with unease. It was creepy enough that you were alone in an abandoned building, but to have a large gust of wind blow through your body in a confined space was even creepier. You gulped thickly and backed away, trying to reach for your phone in your pocket when you suddenly felt something breathing down your neck.

Your eyes widened, and your body immediately shut down. Not even a few seconds later, a loud growl eminated from the creature behind you, and then a whisper, "... You gonna move off my foot or what?" You practically screamed and instinctively ran forward— and let me tell you, it was a real bad idea, because you Immediately hit a wall.

The creature—which you assumed was a demon or a squatter or a fucking werewolf—whistled as it watched you fall back on the ground. "That's gotta hurt..." You groaned and covered your face, "No shit it hurt!" You yelled at it, and reached for your phone in your pocket and turned the flashlight on.

Only to be faced with a tan man with hair a dirty orange, and curious green eyes that stared down at you while you kept laying on the floor. You dropped your phone on your face in shock. But the one thing that stood out about him were the pair of black horns that sat on his head. "You've gotta stop doing that."

"What? Is being scared a weird reaction now, dipshit?!" You yelled as you rubbed your nose. The demon raised his hands in a surrendering motion, "Says the human who summoned me." He defended himself in a nonchalant demeanor. You sat up and scrunched your face at him, "I did not summon you. I didn't even think the pentagram worked."

"It's a pentagram, how would it not work." He rose a brow while his tail swung around, "It's not like it was made of ketchup or anything." You couldn't bring yourself to tell him that you did think it was made out of ketchup. He'd probably laugh at you. Instead, you eyed him up and down with the light you had, before you spoke, "So... You gonna grant me three wishes or something?"

"I'm a demon, not a genie. The only three things I can give you is my name, age, and occupation." He murmured blankly, "So how 'bout it? I need to get paid too."

"Then give me those three things." You replied, "My name's Rody, I'm 382 years old, I think. I stopped counting after 380, and obviously I'm a demon." Rody introduced himself with a smile, almost a purr to his voice as he did. "Cool. You can go away now." You said as you shooed him away and tried to walk off, only to be stopped when he pulled you back by your shirt.

"Wait no—you can't just leave!" Rody said with what appeared to be a small pout, "Demons like me just can't go away without fulfilling a certain job for the human who summoned them. So it's either you ask me to kill someone for you, or..." He trailed off and blushed at the thought. "... You use me for your own p-pleasure..."

You stared at him blankly as he fumbled with his black vest, "What are you? Some teenage boy?" he took offense to this and immediately shook his head, "I am not a teenage boy!"

"And I am not asking you to do any of that." You mumbled and tried to walk away again, "Just lie and say you did one of the two—" "—well I can't! You know they're always watching me!"

Rody was practically begging as he clung to you. He sure was putting the title of a demon to shame. "I'm not lying to you, I swear. As much as I don't want to be here..." Rody trailed off, like even he didn't believe his last words. "Well, it's been a while since I've been out in the field so it was kinda lonely waiting in my apartment but that's besides the point!" He ranted unintentionally, before he shook his head.

Rody noticed the way you stared at him, and he cleared his throat to compose himself. "Just, ask me for anything." He said more seriously as he let you go.

You thought about it, and sighed. "Fine. But I'm not asking you to kill anyone." You murmured and looked down at the floor. As tempting as it sounds, you weren't gonna just tell him to kill your friends. It was silent, as if Rody was waiting for you to initiate something. At least he was willing to wait for your move.

You then got an idea, "Do demons like blood?" You asked him, looking back up into his green eyes. Rody rose a brow before he nodded, "I guess, especially if it's their summoners blood." He whispered, not sure where this is going. "Do they go insane with just a simple whiff?" You questioned once more, and before he could even get an answer out, you rose your sliced finger in front of his face.

Rody's eyes widened, "W-What are you doing?" He hesitantly asked as he split glances between your finger and your face. "What does it look like I'm doing? How long has it been since you've tasted human blood?" A red glint flashed over Rody's eyes as he leant forward, and took your wrist into his calloused hands. "... Too long..." He whispered and gently kissed your skin, before licking the blood with a groan.

"... I feel so dirty... Licking your dried up blood like this..." Rody gazed back down at you with lidded eyes, "I'm not that much of a savage." He muttered as he kissed your lips. His hands immediately finding their way onto your hips and he pulled your body closer to his bigger one, "You don't mind I just..." Rody whispered against the kiss, using his sharp canines to bite down onto your bottom lip—enough to draw blood as he closed his mouth on the wound and sucked on the red liquid.

You hissed at the slight pain that he inflicted onto you. Noticing your reaction, Rody pulled away and pecked your bruised lip, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it..." He whined and kissed down your chin, "Forgive me?" Rody's hands traveled under your shirt to caress your skin underneath. You gasped, feeling the rough pads of his fingers rubbing your hardening nipples. Rody trailed his lips down to the side of your neck, gently nibbling on the skin.

You felt yourself get pushed back against the wall while his knee moved to go in between your legs. Rody pressed himself closer to you, letting his thigh rub against your core. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle with you..." He cooed into your ear, "Pretty boy..." Rody praised as he suddenly pinched your nipples. You bit your bottom lip to stifle your moans, too embarrassed to let anything out.

But Rody wasn't having any of it. "Let me hear you." He said blankly, and before you knew it, his hand was inside your pants, already thumbing at your engorged clit. "Come on, pretty boy... I'll make you feel so good... Just let me hear your voice..." Rody encouraged you in his velvety smooth voice.

You threw your head back as an unexpected moan slipped past your lips, and a grin spread across Rody's face. "Atta boy, keep going." He removed his hand away from your chest and started to undo your pants, pulling them down to pool on your feet along with your underwear.

Rody took his time to admire you and your sopping cunt that was just begging for his attention. With a quick lick to his lips, he sunk down to his knees in front of you, and placed both his hands onto your thighs to keep them open for him. "Haven't tasted a sweet thing like this in a while..." He whispered in awe, "300 years ago, I'm guessing?" You quipped with a breathless chuckle.

Rody furrowed his brows and slapped your pussy, which made you whine, "If you're mouth's able to retort, then I'm guessing it can moan too." He grumbled as he then buried his face into your cunt. Your eyes widened, immediately reaching down to grab a fistful of his hair as he licked a stripe up your vulva.

You felt Rody close his lips around your throbbing clit harshly sucking and licking it. Your thighs shook, begging to close and push Rody away from the stimulation, but his strong hold prevented that. Rody placed his knee on your pants— the only thing that served as restraints for your ankles— and removed his hand from your thigh to gently tease your hole by circling around it with his fingers.

You whined, practically begging him to push it in, and when he did, a loud moan erupted from your kiss swollen lips. Rody chuckled against your heat, and sucked on your clit, the sounds of your wetness against his tongue making you cringe. Rody pumped his fingers in and out your pussy, curling and hitting all the right places in just the perfect angle.

Rody inserted another finger, his thick digits rubbing your gummy walls as he harshly finger fucked your pussy. "So lewd...~ Your pussies so wet, it's practically dripping down my hand..." He teased, and pulled his mouth away from your clit, instead using his other hand to swish his fingers side to side on the engorged bud. The sensation made you squeal, desperately trying to close your thighs around his hands but he stopped you.

"Whoa there, keep them open." Rody furrowed his briws and fingered your pussy faster. Tears rolled down your cheek from the pleasure, a small whimper sounding from you as you pulled Rody closer to your cunt. Without a second thought, Rody went back to licking your clit, wanting to overstimulate your senses until all that was left of you is a crying and moaning mess.

He thrusted his fingers even quicker at this, "Look at you... I haven't even fucked you yet and you're already crying..." He cooed, his hands tightening around your thigh as he licked his lips. You blushed at his words and immediately covered your mouth, getting too flustered by his teasing. You were getting so close, and it was driving you insane—a heat started to pool at the pit of your stomach, stating your impending release.

Rody grunted and suddenly pulled his fingers out—slapping your clit harshly. Your eyes widened as you let out a slutty moan, and before you knew it, you squirted all over him. Your thighs shook from how hard you came, your whole body turning to putty in his hold as more tears escaped from your eyes. With a cry, you glanced back down at Rody, only to see him staring up at you with the same shocked expresson on his face.

"Did you just cum from having your pussy slapped?" He asked, a small grin forming on his face. You sniffled and looked away in embarrassment, "N-No..." Rody chuckled and leant forward to kiss your cunt softly as a small apology for slapping it, "It was kinda hot, don't worry sweet boy." He praised and rose to his feet.

"Think you're ready for me?" Rody asked as he kissed your lips gently. You gave him a slow nod, and he smiled, "Alright." He undid his pants and belt, along with his underwear and let them pool on his feet. Rody was now half naked in front of you, his impressive size standing tall. It was probably the biggest cock you've ever seen. Probably the only cock you've ever seen, rather.

He placed his hands under your thighs and lifted you off the ground. Making sure to let your pants and shoes fall to the floor first so that you could wrap your legs around his waist, "Just tell me if it hurts and I'll stop, okay?" Rody reassured you, and your eyes widened. You placed a hand on his chest, "W-Wait, that's it? You're just going in with no protection?"

He paused and stared at you blankly, "Babe, I'm a demon, not a prostitute. I didn't know I was gonna end up fucking someone today, of course I don't have a condom." Rody said in a monotone voice, as if it was already common sense. "If you're that worried, I can pull out... Don't worry." He whispered and pecked your lips.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and gulped, "O-Okay..." You nodded. Rody positioned himself against your hole, rubbing the tip against the lips and smeared the precum all over your pussy. "Fuck, you're even wetter than before..." He chuckled and gently pushed the head of his cock in.

Your hissed at the stretch, immediately tightening around Rody when he pushed more of his length in. "S-Shit, don't tighten so much! I-I can't even go any further...!" Rody panted, closing his eyes at the warmth that wrapped around his weeping dick. "Just... Breathe for me, okay?" He massaged your ass, waiting for you to relax so that he could bottom out inside you, but for now, he remained unmoving.

You steadied your breathing, holding onto him tightly, and slowly nodded. Rody took this as a sign to keep going. He noticed he wasn't even halfway in, before he decided to just fuck it—and suddenly pushed himself in fully in one go. You gasped and cried, tears forming at the corners of your eyes at the pain and pleasure that pooled at the pit of your stomach.

Rody moaned into your neck, rubbing your thighs to soothe the pain. "Fuck... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry sweet boy... It's just that, I couldn't take it... I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you..." He kissed all over your shoulder, and slid a hand over to rub your clit in order to distract you from the pain.

You could only scratch at his back as your toes curled, "You're doing so good..." Rody whispered praises into your ear, waiting for you to adjust to his size. It was the least he could do for bottoming out harshly.

After a while, you gave Rody a nod. He put his hand back under your thigh, and slowly pulled out until only the tip was left inside, before pushing back in gently. A shudder ran down your spine at the pleasure that spread through your body.

Once he saw your positive reaction, Rody kept going at the pace he set; slow and steady. You gripped onto Rody tighter, strings of moans falling from your tongue as he kept thrusting. One particular thrust hit your g-spot head on, and Rody adjusted his angle so that he could hit it everytime. "You're so tight... So perfect for my cock..." He grunted into your ear, gripping your thighs tighter as he pulled all the way out and gave a harsh thrust into your sopping pussy.

You threw your head back and cried, tears rolling down your flushed cheeks. Rody's wings flexed behind him at the pleasure, his own moans and groans stringing out from his mouth. "S-Shit...! N-Need to change your position..." Rody suddenly pulled out your heat, and put your feet down the ground. He turnt you around, and pulled your ass back against him and positioned himself once more, before he thrusted all the way in and continued his harsh thrusts.

Your tongue lolled out as you clawed at the walls. "R-Rody...!~" You squealed and looked down at your stomach, seeing a visible bump that formed whenever he thrusted into your tight cunt. Your eyes grew cloudy from the tears, and you reached down to press on the bump, finding pleasure in knowing he was so deep inside you.

You heard Rody laugh from behind you, "What? You like how I'm so deep inside your pussy?" He asked as he spanked you which made you sob, "Fuck, I love this pretty hole of yours..." Rody groaned and fucked you faster. He leant forward, pressing his chest against your back as he kissed your shoulder. Rody reached down and started rubbing your clit in timed with his thrusts, which caused you to shriek and shake your head. "N-No..! It's too much...!" You cried and babbled, your head turning into mush the more he fucked you stupid.

Rody pulled and rubbed your clit faster at your words, "You're close... Right? I'm close too..." He groaned, whimpering as he reached out to place his hand over your own against the wall. You panted like a bitch in heat, and sobbed, "R-Rody... C-Cum in me...! Please!~" You begged, unable to think straight anymore from the way Rody was bullying his cock into your cunt.

You were reduced into nothing but a toy for Rody's pleasure. Rody's eyes widened at this, and his thrusts faltered for a second, but you shook your head and let out strings of insistent 'no's. "P-Please keep going, keep going...!~" You pleaded. He was hesitant, but the way you were looking and begging... It was too much.

Rody groaned and pulled back, pushing your cheek against the wall with his hand, and fucked your cunt faster. His balls slapping against your pretty pussy lips, "You asked for this... Not me...!" He moaned loudly, feeling himself come closer to the edge.

Rody's thrusts grew more desperate and sloppy, before he gave one last thrust, and came inside you. You came right after him—squirting all over his fat cock. You drooled all over the wall as you closed your eyes from how hard you came. Rody panted and chuckled breathlessly as he stared at you, "You did so good..." He whispered and turned your head so that he could kiss you.

You tiredly reciprocated, whining when you felt your shared release dripping down your thighs. Rody pulled away and rubbed your sides, "You'll give me a five star

review right?" He grinned. You rolled your eyes and pushed his face away, "Is there even an app for this shit?" He pouted and nodded.

"Yeah, there is. It's called deviliscious."

"You're lying."

"Okay, yeah, I am."

"Just pull out you asshole."

@ shirakow ; Reblogs are always appreciated <3 it's like 5 am as I'm editing this and I haven't gotten any sleep .

ㅤ

#rody x male reader #rody x reader #rody lamoree #rody #dead plate #dead plate rody lamoree #dead plate x reader #dead plate x male reader #dead plate rody x reader #ftm reader #male reader #x ftm reader #rody x ftm reader #rody lamoree x ftm reader #devil rody lamoree #devil rody x reader #. . . 𝘀𝗵𝗶.𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 ?

[lorei-writes]

HC: Awfully Similar

Chevalier, Clavis, Leon, Jin, Silvio ~1k words Premise: Little (awful) ways in which his child is (awfully) similar to him.

Chevalier

His daughter does not reply to questions when the answer is positive. Additionally, ever since she has learnt to speak in full sentences, she took a liking to the words "indeed" and "drivel".

"Say 'aaah'."

"Drivel, papa."

"Your throat is sore. You have to drink your syrup."

"Indeed. Still, drivel, papa."

His son is dreadfully difficult in the mornings. It's so bad that only Chevalier is (generally) able to wake him up. (That being said, waking Chevalier up is still a herculean task, the difficulty level of which has only been increasing with each child. Uncle Clavis is devastated whenever he has to look after his nephews and nieces... or makes the mistake of scheduling anything before noon.)

None of them like breakfasts -- the only way to get them to eat it is having either of their parents to prepare it. No matter how hard Chevalier tries, they declare to like their mother's cooking better... possibly to mess with him a little bit. (Chevalier? Jealous? Over such trivial matter? What drivel.)

His youngest son has inherited his intimidating aura. Overall, he looks just like Chevalier when he was little. However, much like Clavis, he's also a ball of chaotic laughter. The juxtaposition gives his uncles whiplash every single time.

Clavis

His son is awfully dramatic.

"Father! Guard! I am being taken from this world, the dawn lights shall welcome me no more!" <- he has fallen and scratched his knee while on a walk with Cyran

"Mother loves me not, papa."

"Oh? Why should you say that?"

"Why? Isn't it obvious? She's cooked me brussels sprouts."

His son is also vert studious when it comes to learning. His primary interests lie in physics and... literature, which explains some of his peculiar claims. (Luckily, Clavis knows how to manage a library.)

Clavis' younger son enjoys pranks and experiments, or better yet, doing both at once. Especially if the target is to be his sister (the youngest sibling). He's also taken to picking locks -- preparing ones he cannot open is something of an evolutionary race between him and his father. Ah, those alluring cabinets with chemical reagents! (Clavis has taught him how to pick locks. He caused this.)

That being said, the little lady of the bunch has a frightful foresight (much like her uncle). The pranks never succeed. (Were she not a near-perfect copy of Clavis appearance-wise, they'd likely wonder whether she was truly his daughter.)

Leon

All of his children. All of them. Sneak. Out. And to make matters worse? They split up, so if Leon wants them back at the palace, he needs to independently track down at least three people (the youngest ones usually do not leave their older siblings). Sometimes they also bring friends along! (Clavis' children are the friends.)

Another growing issue-non-issues is that they have made friends in town and now sneak them into the palace. Which, admittedly, is not something Leon is particularly bothered by (assuming he is distracted from the very real possibility of his children being kidnapped, as now everybody knows they are royalty -- nickname change from "Black" to "White" may occur in the next few years). However, the same cannot be said about the visiting nobles.

No matter how much food there was to begin with, none is ever left on the table. His son's have... healthy... appetites.

Both of his daughters are avid readers. However, they tend to get tired easily when reading... so they alternate. They usually pick a book together and read it aloud. (2 pages - change of the reader - 2 pages - change - ... )

Jin

Jin has two children, a daughter and a son. His daughter is an effortless charmer -- pretty like a doll, with infectious laughter and jokes that somehow caught on even when all she could say was "gugu gaga". (...At least Jin laughed?) Meanwhile, his son gets into situations. Shirtless.

That being said, it isn't necessarily wrong for his son to get involved. After all, he always does it to protect one of his cousins or his sister (...or to cover for them, but well, solidarity is appreciated). But why shirtless?

They both fight over lollipops. All. The. Time. And when they don't fight over them, they cry due to having none. They are not going to have unlimited teeth in their life! Good dental habits need to be established early on! (Jin also cries in lollipop rehab. Solidarity!)

Jin may have only two children, but their little family also includes four dogs. His children have an interesting affinity towards finding animals in need of help, both wild and domesticated. (You could say that Jin got roped into running the first -- unofficial -- animal shelter & rescue in the entirety of Rhodolite. He's managed to rehome the majority of the animals brought in... save for those four dogs. He just couldn't say "no" after his children nursed them back to health. He was and still is proud of them for doing that.)

Silvio

His daughter (3 years old) tries to open everything with a kick first. And by everything I mean everything -- a book? Kick! Doll house? Kick! Cabinet door? Kick! Balcony door? First she walks into it and then she kicks.

Silvio's at a loss there. He can't exactly have her wear steal cap boots. (Or... can he?)

To make matters worse, Silvio has made the mistake of taking his older daughter to the docks. She was interested in ships and his work! He wanted to show her! He really had good intentions!

And now she curses like a six years old sailor. Which is to say, poorly and fairly inaccurately, but in large quantities. And she sure is teaching this to her younger sister.

Their favourite game to play is called "Jingle-Jangle", which is a cute term for breaking into their father's closet and turning themselves into an ornate human orchestra. They put on all of Silvio's jewellery and then run through the palace, every so often losing a ring or a necklace, or perhaps both. It creates a convenient trail for Carlo (or Silvo, or Emma -- whoever is first at the scene) to follow... Provided that nobody takes it first. ("Ha?! Papa is so rich he could buy you anything!" were Silvio's famous last words.)

You've seen a typo? Let me know!

Tag List: @lancelotscloak @violettduchess @pathogenic @fang-and-feather @tele86 @rinaririr @keithsandwich @cheese-ception @bis-enti @claviscollections @queengiuliettafirstlady @sh0jun @leonscape

Tell me if you'd like to be added to my tag list :)

#chevalier michel #ikepri chevalier #ikemen prince chevalier #ikepri #ikemen prince #ikemen series #clavis lelouch #ikepri clavis #ikemen prince clavis #leon dompteur #ikepri leon #ikemen prince leon #jin grandet #ikepri jin #ikemen prince jin #silvio ricci #ikepri silvio #ikemen prince silvio

[drunkenskunk]

Something funny I've noticed while playing in the Lancer game @xeansicemane is running is that I am the odd-man (woman?) out in our merry little band of misfits. I am the only one in the SRT without an interesting backstory and/or potentially mission threatening Dark Secret.

We have:

- Fern Tiramisu, the fancy rat who has a job on Hell's Gate in a record store that sells more drugs than records. Except this is merely their cover story, as they are really an operative working for the Union Intelligence Bureau, sent to Calliope on a Top Secret Spy Mission. They've also discovered that parts of their memory have been wiped - by them - and are now trying to recover those memories and figure out why they'd do that to themselves in the first place.

- Cassilda Halloway, the very large, very Stronk, practically indestructible crocodile lady who is a champion in Calliope's fighting scene. Her first, last, and favorite solution for any and all problems is "Imma punch it REAL hard." She's hiding out in the system specifically to get away from her family, a bunch of wealthy and influential fucks back in the Karrakin Trade Baronies. Complicating things is that her brother is also here, for reasons unrelated, and has fallen in with the Faith of the One Plumed in Golden Flame, the local Apocalypse Cult.

- Pearce Collartug, a hyena hacker enby who is practically a JoJo character. They pilot a giant snake-shaped Balor, spending most of every fight covering everything that gets close (and lots more besides) in corrosive nanite swarms. In the last session, we all found out that they also used to be a member of The Circuit, a renegade HORUS cell pirate ring run by Triple Point, a Legion Fork NHP (Fern: "It's a fucking WHAT?!") The Illegal Shape has currently escaped its box and is now doing lots of spooky horror movie shenanigans inside a big asteroid.

- Agarin Raankell, a genetically modified supersoldier dragon man hailing from Clan Thunder Skink, and if you think that sounds a little like the Clans from Battletech: you are absolutely correct. Apparently where he came from, someone generations ago found a Battletech source book about the Clans and went "Hey, y'know what would be awesome?" Probably the most stable and level-headed member of the entire SRT, which is hilarious if you know anything about the Clans, but it does make him the de-facto squad leader in most situations involving direct combat. Also, he's psychically bonded with all of us. Because of Reasons.

And then you have my character.

- Scarlet. She's an alcoholic fuck-up.

Personally, I'm fine with it. My design doc for her boiled down to "What if me, but Girl, and also mech pilot?" She's a grunt. A humble footsoldier. Currently License Level 2, and still piloting her Everest. If this were Battletech, she'd probably drive a Hunchback. She's here to fight and get drunk, because she's no good at anything else.

I just think its hysterical that I'm the only one here not doing A Bit.

... come to think of it, I'm also the only one who hasn't been gene modded to be a Funny Animal Person lol

#lancer #lancer rpg #in golden flame #vex wasn't lying that one sure is plumed in golden flame

[pa-pa-plasma]

THE RULES that I have been going off of, for everyone voting as if this were a fight to the death:

this is a regular episode of Danny Phantom

the cats are loose in Amity Park, this is not an arena or anything.

there are a lot of cats but they aren't trying to kill Danny in particular or are unrealistically aggressive, they are just cats, a good chunk of them being kittens or unable to fight, probably confused as to where they've been transported to

they act like normal feral cats do (there is a difference between ferals & strays). they are not smarter (they think cars are animals) or trained any more than in canon, which does not include fighting humans with technology that can trap cats (it is canon that they cannot fight this & do not train to fight this)

the cats do not have special superpowers that can oneshot Danny, because this is not canon in Warriors. they are literally just animal ghosts. i think they have prophetic visions about the clans, but I don't see how this helps them escape Danny's C&R program as it didn't help the last time

Danny has all of his canon powers

Danny has all of his "training" & practice from canon

Danny has all of the canon Fenton tech, maybe even ghost proof live traps because let's be real, Maddie & Jack would immediately make a bunch if there was a ghost cat problem

Danny has the benefit of looking up "how to catch feral cats"

Danny has help from whoever he is allied with in canon

we're all stupid because this is not the question we should be focusing on

we should be focusing on how the hell Starclan suddenly disappearing would affect the clans

my answer under the cut

Danny would win, but it would take him months to catch all of them & he would suffer the whole time

he's a dog person too so he wouldn't know how to handle them. Sam would be able to handle them but as soon as any of them start to warm up to Danny (probably like Pinestar or another warrior-turned-kittypet) Cujo would show up & they'd all scatter

except for Swiftpaw, he'd probably fight Cujo, traumatizing him & making it impossible for him to get along with cats in the future, obviously making the situation worse

#Danny Phantom #Warrior Cats #for science #everyone is paying so much attention to the random number i put down #that they're forgetting these are CATS who are FERAL & avoid humans AT ALL COSTS #a very small percentage would actually try to fight Danny & another percentage would be like ''well it's free food & stuff'' #because they were socialized at some point in their life & aren't actually feral (like Cloudtail or Pinestar or any of the kittypets) #because they can't exactly procreate i think Danny could whittle away at their numbers until they're all put back where they should be #it would take a long ass time but he could do it. i stick by this answer 100%

[yanderu-deredere]

chew.

★ you get really drunk but that's okay! despite these strangers being a bunch of guys you just randomly met, you trust them! they'd never do anything to you! at least, nothing you don't want!

a/n: was gunna work on the third part of the slasher yanderes but actually the werewolf yanderes did so well that i wrote this dirty rag i pass off as smut instead also lowkey one of my fav yandere blogs followed me becos of the werewolf fic sooo i have to write this LOL

important: for everyone that read the first part, i HEAVILY added some stuff so please re-read that before coming over here and reading this so it makes sense

also also this is the smut scene and theyre all men so please don't be gross in the notes or in my inbox about like butt stuff cus like they're men and they have butts idk what to tell you. one of the warnings is heavy ass play.

and please don't report my post becos that's literally so petty and rude and uncalled for, especially since it's properly tagged and censored (is that the right word? you know what i mean)

part one (bite.) ★ part two ★ (here) ★ extras (bite and chew.) ★ extras (taste) ★ part three ★ (swallow.) ★ part four (digest.)

pairing: poly werewolves x male reader word count: 3589

general warning: reader is cheating, bottom reader has male parts and pronouns, reader is implied to be attracted to both genders, reader is definitely under the influence of alcohol, yanderes may be under the influence of the moon? real wildt, biphobia becos leonard assumed reader is straight, polyam ending (all three with reader)

sexual warnings: very dubious consent, descriptive ass play, leonard is a power bottom, one hard spank, reader is fucked and gets fucked, voyeurism because mel watches a little

You felt yourself start to get sleepy. It only made sense, after all. Your stomach was full, you had your fill of alcohol and, now, you had a great time with your new friends.

Before you could drift off, though, a scene in the movie the four of you decided on caught your eye.

It was some angsty romance about a girl who moved to a new town and was caught between choosing two werewolves or a vampire as a lover. You had heard of it but never really watched it.

You think it was because your girlfriend trashed it all the time?

Shows what she knew since you ended up really enjoying it. The cinematography was great, the actors and actresses were all great and the plot was typical for the genre but still interesting.

What you hadn't expected was that it just had full blown porn as one of the scenes.

You watched as one of the werewolves pushed the girl into the male locker room? Felt illegal but you stored that in the back of your mind. The other werewolf was already in there and caught her.

They sandwiched her in between the two of them and started making out, their hands hurriedly stripping her clothes as she watched them swap spit.

You couldn't help it. There was something about the, emmm, artistic filming of the two rugged men kissing that had your cock twitching in your pants.

With wide eyes, you continued to watch them strip her and start fucking her in the middle of the male locker rooms. Something about marking her as theirs or something? Making her their mate? Covering her in their scent?

This was so wild and what was even more wild was that your cock was steadily getting harder as you continued to observe them basically make a meal out of her body and impale her on their cocks.

You felt a breath against your ear "What, you like?"

You pretty much jumped in your seat, your hand clapping over your ear as you snapped to look at Leonard who smirked wolfishly at you, chuckling at your probably scared expression.

You just scoffed at him, pushing him away "I may have a girlfriend but I'm not blind."

My cock isn't either. You wanted to add. You'd never denied your attraction to men and women. Just because you were with a woman didn't stop you from ogling at men.

"Wait, really." Leonard was leaning against you again, trying to peer at your face to see if you were being serious "I thought you were just one of those poser straight guys that flirted platonically but would go 'Ohh, but like, I'm not gay or anything' and deny it."

You were really offended by his insinuation but decided to give him the benefit of your doubt "It's whatever. I'm attracted to both men and women."

You expected him to leave it at that but, suddenly, he smirked even more, looking quite pleased with himself "Oh, really?"

Then, he took you by the wrist and pressed it to his dick. You could feel it, even over his jogging pants, how hard and stiff and big it was.

He leaned forward, lips ghosting your ears "You know you made it like this."

"M-Me?" Your fingers twitched, unsure whether you wanted to pull your hand away or tease him through his clothes.

You felt his hips jolt up desperately to meet your palm and you looked down to see him tenting. Just seeing how hard he was and feeling it were two different things.

Seeing it and feeling it made it feel more real, made it feel like you should do something about it.

Distantly, you heard Mel say Leonard's name in a warning tone but you were simply too focused on the fact that you gave such a beautiful man like Leonard such an obvious hardon.

Then, Leonard was suddenly growling like an animal and pushing your hand away. You felt both relieved and disappointed, thinking that was that. Maybe Mel didn't want him doing anything?

You were dead wrong. Instead, Leonard was taking off his shirt and kicking off both his pants and his briefs.

"Gods, I've been waiting for your dumb fucking ass to make a move and fuck me all night." Leonard huffed, rolling his pretty blue eyes. "You're just as oblivious as you are gorgeous."

Another distant warning tone from Mel that you would've listened to but you just couldn't find any space in your brain to do anything but watch, mesmerized, as Leonard undressed.

You would take a few more moments to observe how handsome he looked without his glasses if it weren't for the fact that his cock, all pale and pink and girthy, curving up to his belly button, took all your attention.

"Hey, eyes up here, moron." Leonard tried again before kneeling in front of you and, finally, just taking your face into his hands and pulling you into a sloppy kiss.

It was absolutely filthy. His mouth was open, tongue practically fucking your mouth and coaxing your tongue to play, like he was trying to eat you alive or something.

It made you feel so light-headed, like you just couldn't think.

No thoughts passed through your head. You kissed him back. Your brain was empty. He pressed forward and your back bowed, trying to accommodate his body as you guys made out, chest to chest, his cock pressed against your clothed torso.

You could feel the wet spot on your shirt that his pre-cum made.

Then, just as suddenly as he started, Leonard was pulling away. Your eyes were unfocused for a second, like you didn't know where you were, like he sucked out your brain.

The first thing you noticed were how blue his eyes were, almost like they were the sky. They were so clear, so beautiful, just like the rest of him. Then, he was pulling away even more, taking the pillow on your lap with him.

You were still very drunk. Surprisingly, the kiss did nothing to sober you up. So, honestly, your broken train of thought didn't track that he would bend over for you.

In fact, part of you had thought (and slightly hoped) that he would've ripped your clothes off and bent you over.

Instead, he took your pillow and hugged it to his chest as he fisted his cock and bent to show you his cute round butt.

It was an ass you'd more than love to fuck, if you were being honest.

The biggest surprise wasn't his ass, however. A good looking guy like him? It was expected that his ass looked good too.

No, the biggest surprise was what was already in his ass. Nestled between his ass cheeks was a pink glass butt plug in the shape of a rose.

The rose was big enough that it pushed his ass cheeks apart and the glass was translucent enough so you could see the ring of his ass struggle to accommodate the rest of the plug.

You couldn't even imagine how he would've looked like, taking the butt plug in. Or how he would look when you slowly took it out of him.

But, then, you remembered.

You had a girlfriend that was waiting for you back at the bonfire. Or, maybe, not at the bonfire but definitely at home. Or, maybe, not at home because she never liked visiting you at your place but--

It didn't matter. All that mattered was, no matter how shitty she was, you had a girlfriend and fucking Leonard's adorable shapely ass was considered cheating.

"Fuck, c'mon, take it out and just stick your cock in." Leonard groaned, pushing his ass towards you even more. When he did, it made the plug in him stick out a little, pushing it out a little before sucking it back in.

You groaned too, palming your dick through your pants, unsure of what to do. Looking at him like that, watching him desperately holding the base of his dick, offering himself off like he was a man possessed, did something to you.

"I-I can't--" You tried to valiantly say no but he whimpered, all helplessly and soft, like he'd die if you didn't help him out, even just a little.

You sighed before deciding to acquiesce a little by grabbing the base of the toy and slowly pulling it out. You watched as his walls seemed to protest, trying to suck it back in, before finally letting go.

"Please, more." He moaned so prettily when it popped right out, all loud and high-pitched.

You turned to Mel, a look of desperation like he was the only one that could help you. Instead of help, you were met with the sight of Mel cradling Isamu in his lap.

Mel was still fully clothed but Isamu was completely naked from the waist down. Isamu's back was against Mel's chest, his cock in Mel's fist, completely hard, flushing dark brown-red at the tip and leaking so much pre-cum.

You hadn't even realised that the two of them had started getting it on behind you

Just watching them made you dizzy

You didn't think Mel was even paying attention to you for a second but, as soon as your eyes were on them, Mel's eyes snapped to you like he was hyper aware of you and you swore his eyes were glowing.

He was looking at you in a way that made you feel so small, that made you feel like a rabbit in front of a pack of wolves.

And he certainly looked wolfish, the way his sharp teeth marked Isamu's neck up, leaving bruises and bitemarks all over his tan skin, the way his eyes glared, all predator, none of that polite man that welcomed you in his home left.

You felt a shiver go down your spine.

You wanted to run away but you felt rooted in place.

You saw Mel's mouth move but whether he was mouthing something to Isamu or just mouthing at his neck, you couldn't tell. All you could hear was your heart beating in your ears.

From the corner of your eyes, you could see Isamu's hips jerk hard into Mel's fist but Mel's fist was absolutely immovable. HIs entire demeanor seemed unwavering, like a steadfast predator who'd chase you down to the ends of the Earth.

The entire thing both mortified you and absolutely turned you on and you didn't know why.

"Hey! What the fuck! Hello, someone's ass is right in front of you?" Leonard started whacking your thigh with his free hand, his ass wiggling around again as if that would entice you.

You were pulled away from your thoughts and you turned back to him, sigh leaving your lips again. You knew Mel would be no help and Isamu looked like his brain was leaking out of his cock.

"Okay, okay, compromise." Leonard looked at you over his shoulder, desperation clear on his face.

It made him look surprisingly pathetic but also incredibly cute, especially with that adorable red flush to his face and the way he was staring at you with puppy eyes.

"Just the tip. The tip is all I need. Just an inch and I'll jerk myself off." He tried convincing you and, though you knew cheating was cheating, you couldn't help but feel just a bit sorry for him.

At least, it made sense in your absolutely alcohol drunk head.

"Fine." You stood, taking everything from the waist down off and piling it on top of Leonard's things. "Goddamnit, fine."

Leonard practically squealed "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

You nodded, positioning yourself behind him. He whimpered almost excitedly, shifting a little to position himself better. You spread his ass cheeks with your thumbs, testing his ass to see if the two of you needed any lube.

Surprisingly, he'd used so much silicone lube with the butt plug that some of it was still dribbling out.

You moved the head of your cock to press against his ass, pushing it in just a little. And, oh god, did it feel good. Leonard definitely already prepped himself and he was sucking you in so good.

"Shit." You huffed out, eyes screwing shut as you gripped his ass tighter in your hands "Just the tip. Just the tip."

You heard him babble agreements but, honestly, the words you were saying were mostly for yourself.

"Gunna jerk myself off. Gunna cum while I squeeze the tip of your fucking cock." Leonard moaned as he pushed himself back as much as you would allow him "Need you to jerk yourself off too. Need you to cum inside me. Please? Please?"

You nodded, unsure if he was looking at you because you still had your eyes shut. You were sure if you looked at him even a little bit, you'd bust a nut immediately.

You let go of one of his ass cheeks to grip the base of your cock, getting ready to either jerk yourself off or hold it to prevent yourself from coming.

Before you could do either, you felt someone slap your ass. The force of it pushed you forward and you were suddenly bent over Leonard, your cock much deeper into his ass than you were planning.

You moaned, both from the sting of pain on your ass and from Leonard's ass milking your cock. The only thing that prevented the whole thing from going in was your fist.

Hell, the only thing preventing you from cumming was your fist.

"What bad boys, leaving 'Samu out." Mel muttered behind you.

You didn't know what he looked like or what he was doing. You were too busy moaning, your hand on Leonard's ass gripping it like a lifeline, your forehead resting on the nape of his neck.

"Shit, shit, shit." Leonard so eloquently replied, his ass humping back against you "Move, you fuck head! Shit! Ohhh, your cock feels sooo good, baby."

You moaned again, unable to take Leonard's dirty talking in conjunction with his ass just strangling your dick as you tried to stay as still as possible.

As a way to placate him, you shifted your head, your lips brushing against his neck before your teeth nipped at his skin and started leaving hickeys.

"Oooh, fuck, baby." You heard a squirt before, suddenly, Leonard's hand sounded like it was jerking his own cock off with lube.

Was that Leonard's hand? Where'd he get lube?

The thought had barely entered your mind before there was another squirt and then you felt the cold chill of lube between your own ass cheeks.

Wait--

You looked over your shoulder to see Mel, looking down at you with that same piercing gaze in his eyes. This time, his mouth was stretched into a predatory grin, teeth too sharp and mouth too wide.

"Ya' know, 'Samu was feeling lonely." He told you matter-of-factly like that meant something but it wasn't Isamu that was pulling your ass cheeks apart.

Your eyes flickered around and, quickly, you spotted Isamu right beside Mel, cock in his hand, a dark flush on his entire face as he watched you and Leonard, mesmerised by the entire scene.

Before you could ask if you did anything to offend him, you felt one of Mel's thumbs start prodding at your ass and you groaned, your back bowing, your chest pressing against Leonard's chest and your hips pushing forward to get away.

Of course, since your cock was inside Leonard, it meant you were pushing more of it into him. Not that he was complaining. He was just babbling out obscenities, happy to take your cock as he jerked himself off.

"Now, now." Mel licked his lips, pulling you just a tad closer (and making Leonard complain a little) before pushing more of his thumb in "We need to make sure you're properly prepped to take Isamu."

"W-Why?" You stuttered out, cheeks feeling hot at the thought of taking that monster cock in your ass.

That had to count as double penetration and double cheating, right?

"You don't want to help him out?" Mel frowned at you and the disappointment on his face (however fake a part of you said it was) made your heart ache.

So, of course, you nodded and Mel smiled again, all wolfish and mischievous, obviously pleased with your answer.

He slowly fed more of his thumb into your ass, stretching it a bit more and pushing at your walls. You just took it obediently, your hips stilled by his strong calloused hands.

Then, when he thought you had enough of his thumb, he slowly took it out before replacing it with his fingers. That was definitely much thicker.

He started with one, which was easy to take. But then two felt impossible, especially when he started scissoring them, pushing your walls apart and forcing your ass to take it without moving your hips.

You whimpered and whined the entire time.

You think maybe Leonard came sometime while you were getting fingered but also maybe not because he continued fucking his own fist and desperately trying to hump your dick.

You still kept your hand on the base of your cock, trying your hardest to save that last handful of inches as if it would make a difference.

"What a good boy." Mel pressed a kiss to your lower back as he fucked his fingers in and out of you, the squelch of it just as obscene as the way your ass clenched and unclenched around his fingers

Then, finally, he pulled them out and didn't thrust them back in "I think you're ready for 'Samu's cock, don't you?"

You shook your head but you were too overwhelmed to really say anything else. The words just wouldn't come to your head. It seemed they just ignored your silent protest because Mel and Isamu switched spots swiftly.

Isamu put the blunt head of his dick to your ass and, before you could say anything, he was pushing in. And, god, he was absolutely hefty. Your hips were already trying their hardest to push forward, to get away, to do something against the stretch of it all.

"It's okay, you can do it, darling." Mel comforted you, his sticky hand rubbing up and down your back.

Isamu didn't seem to pay you any mind, absolutely enamoured by how your ass felt around him. He just kept going, pushing more and more in.

Probably the only thing stopping him from just pushing it all in one thrust was Mel's other hand on his lower stomach, reminding him to go slow.

Finally, after what felt like forever, his hips met your ass and you didn't feel like your guts were going to come out of your mouth anymore.

You sighed, relieved, only to cry out when you felt him pulling out and it was like he was taking everything with him.

There was another squirt of lube and then the second push in was much smoother but it didn't make it feel any less like he was carving his way into your guts.

"Give him your hand, darling." Mel suddenly ordered you when Isamu's hips met your ass again.

You complied, letting go of Leonard's ass so you could reach behind you and offer it to Isamu.

Isamu took your wrist and gave the inside of it a kiss before biting down. You screamed, of course, but you didn't think he bit hard enough to draw blood.

"I-Isamu?" You whimpered, looking over your shoulder at him with tears prickling your eyes.

Isamu just pressed gentle kisses to his bitemark and apologised. That was when you realised that the embarrassed shy flushed look on his face was gone, replaced with an almost feral determined shine in his eyes.

You couldn't even question him. You couldn't even open your mouth before he was drawing his hips back and fucking you with abandon.

You leaned your forehead against the nape of Leonard's neck again, moans and whimpers and whines leaving your lips as you felt Isamu fuck you with abandon.

Your grip on your cock tightened even more as you felt that familiar coil of heat in your stomach.

Then, without you noticing, you felt someone's lips against your ear. Mel? You couldn't tell, your brain felt like it was melting

"Give me your other hand too, darling."

You obeyed without even thinking and, with one hard thrust from Isamu, you were fully sheathed in Leonard. Immediately, you came spilling into Leonard's ass and Leonard moaned like a porn star when he felt it.

"I-- Hah! Uwah, came! I came! Wait-- I-- Hah, wait-- I, hah--" You panted, huffing and moaning as your toes curled and your body bended, plastering itself against Leonard.

Instead of stopping, Isamu just pressed himself tighter against you until the three of you were as close to each other as could be, Isamu's hips still jack rabbiting into yours, his cock pistoning in and out of you, causing your hips to fuck your cock (which should've been softening but was surprisingly still hard) in and out of Leonard.

Mel smirked, your hand in his, watching the three of you, a satisfied expression on his face. He pressed a kiss to your knuckles before wrapping your fingers around his cock.

Oh, how cute, you couldn't even wrap it entirely around. That was fine, he would come easily around your fingers. Just knowing it was you was enough to make him cum, after all.

Add the fact that now he knew you were theirs? Well, he'd cum in a couple pumps, no problem.

#yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere #oc x reader #male oc #male werewolf x reader #werewolf oc x reader #werewolf x reader #melchior #isamu #leonard #chaptered #alcohol tw #dubious consent tw #male darling

[esamastation]

Shizuroth, part twenty five

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four

Warning for some implied medical horror in this one.

-

"... Welp. Now, I don't like saying I told you so - but I totally told you so," Reno points out, pointing at the screen - frozen on the very final frame just before Sephiroth destroyed the cameras. "I absolutely told Tseng this would happen."

"No one was injured," Rude points out, shifting through papers.

"That we know of! SOLDIER closed ranks real quick," Reno hums, shuffling through security feeds. They captured the flight of the technicians and the Department Head of Shinra Science from the scene of the ongoing incident, but after that, it's hard to say. There's a bunch of SOLDIERs literally in the way, blocking the view to the virtual training room with their bodies. They'd allowed no one but other SOLDIERs into the floor since.

Sephiroth is still there, as are the SOLDIERs, and unbeknownst to everyone else in the building, they have a damn situation on their hands. A potential rebellion situation.

"So," Reno says, rocking back and forth in his chair. "Sephiroth gets over-overdosed, flatlines, is brought back, loses his memory. Shinra Medical lets him go because that's what they do. He acts funny. Actually takes time off. Makes buncha random purchases. Puts on a shirt. Seems, for about a day, like a normal human being. He even gets takeout!"

"Mn," Rude agrees.

"The Crimson Commander takes him out, they do some shopping, probably have a heart to heart, make it into a few gossip columns," Reno continues, picking up the latest copy of Midgar Mail - Sephiroth sitting shotgun in Genesis' convertible and looking irritated had made the front page. "... Who are now absolutely convinced that our two Elites are romantically involved."

"A natural conclusion," Rude comments without looking at him.

"And so sad for poor Hewley, who's been in love with Rhapsodos since they were kids, according to this," Reno hums, giving the magazine a little flip. "The lives of SOLDIER First Classes are truly full of struggle."

"Mn."

Reno throws the magazine on the desk. "So, Sephiroth has a nice day, feels all normal, and the next morning he decides to go do some training, as SOLDIERs do," he continues, rewinding the video back. "He does some funky magic sword stuff for a bit, and then, boom, Professor Hojo launches a Behemoth at his ass. And Sephiroth proceeds to absolutely lose his shit."

Rude looks up. "I'd call that reasonable cause," he comments. "For a panic attack, if nothing else."

"Yeah, especially if the poor schmuck can't even remember what a Behemoth is," Reno scoffs and leans back, crossing his hands behind his head as he peers up at the ceiling vents. "So now we have a totally sane Department Head who was almost killed by his own son, two traumatised lab techs, a whole lot of SOLDIERs on high alert, an entire floor that's barricaded itself… and no eyes on Sephiroth and no idea what his status is."

"That about sums it up," Rude agrees and turns a page.

Reno glances at him, frowning. "You are not even listening, are you? What are you reading?"

"List of all the non-classified medical procedures Sephiroth has gone through," Rude answers. "The annotations by Professor Hojo are… interesting."

Reno blinks and then grabs the file from his hands. He takes a moment to skim through it before landing on what Rude has been reading. "Subject shows improved humour, will continue to administer preventive care - that doesn't seem too weird?"

"The two previous reports," Rude explains and Reno leafs back. "Reading between the lines, Sephiroth objected to an operation, and was assigned another immediately after," Rude adds. "I'm no physician, but I didn't see anaesthetic in the medicine list."

Reno frowns, reading the files more closely. "Exploratory surgery? Wait, wait, wait. What? Sephiroth showed a bit of an attitude and as punishment Hojo did open surgery on him without anaesthesia?"

"That's my reading of it also."

"Holy shit, that guy's life sucks," Reno says and then takes another look. "The poor fuck was seventeen?"

"There was a similar operation when he was nineteen," Rude adds. "For similar reasons."

"So it's a fucking pattern," Reno mutters. "Damn. No wonder they wrestled the SOLDIER program out of Hojo's total control as soon as they could."

Rude hums in agreement. "I thought it might shed light on what Professor Hojo's reaction to this might be."

Reno's face falls. "Fuck," he says emphatically. 

Now, he doesn't have much sympathy for SOLDIER, they willingly signed up to all the bullshit they went through - plus, when SOLDIER went off the beaten path it was Turks who had to clean their crap up. Sephiroth is a bit different, the poor asshole was born into the life, but that doesn't mean he has anything to do with Turks. At least not unless he made himself their business - and usually he didn't. And that was good! Live and let the freaks live, Reno was more than happy with that.

But this… yeah.

The idea of Sephiroth who had already lost it once being subjected to his crazy father's idea of discipline - probably while on company property, full of all these squishy and vulnerable company people! - did not appeal to him. Tseng was right - life at Shinra would be so much easier if the Science Department stopped treating the SOLDIER like their personal playthings and seen them for what they are.

Really fucking dangerous human weapons. With all the bullshit that came with it.

Rude looks at him levelly and then takes off his sunglasses in order to clean them - sure sign of how stressed he is. "How do you want to play this?"

"Preferably from another continent?" Reno asks a bit incredulously and then thinks about it. "Yeah, actually, that sounds about right! You have Deusericus' location?"

Rude checks his PHS. "Logs put him in his office," he says.

"Great, good, wonderful," Reno bounces to his feet, taking out his own PHS, hitting the speed dial. "Let's go. Hey, Tseng!"

"Reno," comes very tiredly through the hand held. "Please tell me you have eyes on Sephiroth."

"I have his rough location - still on floor 49, with just about every SOLDIER sitting between him and the elevator. No idea what's going on in there, but he's not moved from the training room yet. What about Hewley and Rhapsodos, what's their status?"

"Out on missions - Deusericus has recalled both of them."

"Excellent," Reno says, hurrying for the elevators. "What say we punt this whole mess speedily to Wutai before the good Professor decides to poke at the already sparkling bomb in our midst?"

Tseng sighs. "What?"

Reno explains their conclusions about what they should expect from Hojo. "And if today is any indication as to how the current Sephiroth reacts to Hojo's style of child rearing and discipline… well, I wouldn't like to see the Science Department afterwards! Or the building." Or the entirety of Midgar, for that matter.

He's seen Sephiroth's stats - there's not much they could throw in the guy's way to stop him.

"I see," Tseng says over the line, and it sounds like he's pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I think it might be best if Sephiroth vacated the premises as soon as possible."

"My thinking exactly, boss."

"Very well. I'll arrange a transport," Tseng says. "You'll deal with getting him there?"

Cheers, boss, well done throwing him under the bus! But as it happens, yes. "Heading off to pay Director Deusericus a visit now," Reno says while Rude punches in the floor number. "Here's hoping the SOLDIERs are willing and able to wrangle Sephiroth into a plane."

"Here's hoping," Tseng agrees and then, damningly, adds, "Call me once you get to Wutai," and hangs up.

Aw, shit.

Reno looks at Rude. "Ever been to Wutai?"

"... No?"

"It's wet, miserable, and full of bugs."

Rude sighs. "I'll pack accordingly."

-

Yep, Sephiroth's existence has nothing at all to do with any Turk, nope.

#Fanfiction #ff7 #ffvii #svsss #reno of the turks #rude of the turks #tseng of the turks