#im just not feeling like im actually a valued part of my family lately

[spurgie-cousin]

one part of adhd that i really hate is just knowing there's people out there that think of you as an unreliable or careless person 😕 like how i perceive time and the passing of time has been an issue since i was a kid, i was always chronically late to things (and still am sometimes) so a lot of ppl i know have running jokes about that, but some of them like my family definitely don't understand the connection bt the two things so i know there's sometimes actual anger and frustration behind the jokes. and that they just probably think im a selfish person who doesn't care about other people's time when in reality ive bawled in my car on the way to an event i was supposed to be at 20 mins ago so many times bc i felt like i tried so hard not to do that and just something went wrong, again.

i also lose stuff constantly and throughout my life i've lost some pretty important things, which not only makes me feel awful but makes people who don't understand just assume i'm a careless moron who doesn't understand the value of things when literally nothing could be further from the truth bc i went through a period of being broke as shit for years....so if anything i really feel like i place too much value on some things bc subconsciously I'm worried that if something happens to it I won't be able to fix or replace it. if I didn't live with someone else who kept me in check I'm almost certain there are things I'd like, hoard.

idk sometimes i try to explain the connection to these kinds of things to people and you can just see it in their face that they don't really believe you and might think you're just trying to come up with excuses. and it makes me want to be so defensive bc i try sooooooo hard all the time and it's so upsetting when you're doing that and STILL having these issues‼️ like the fight to convince myself that I'm trying to cope with a disorder and I'm not inherently just bad and dumb after actually believing that for nearly 3 decades is an every day uphill battle so 🥲 to know a lot of people would agree with my past self and can't understand that is hard

#and i can't even talk about demand avoidance I've never even told anyone except like my husband and other nd people about those struggles #i was going to say it was a knife in the kidneys but idk if i should be invoking Kody brown #rant #adhd #my shit

[silknoise]

x. dossier. / x. wanted plots. x. pinterest. / x. thread tracker.

hi there friendos!!! i am thrilled to be joining you since i've been wanting something simple on tumblr for awhile now!! also so happy to be bringing my underappreciated queen umji to the party! the muse she's the face for is one of my faves to write; lee seonah, aka ramona lee is a new york born saxophonist with a cool demeanor and a love for cucumber melon. more info is listed below the cut, so if you're interested in any of her plots or would like me to swing by your ims to say hello or to plot something, you're invited to leave a like on this post!

trigger warnings: m*rder, robbery, implied g*n v*olence, grief

BACKSTORY

as briefly mentioned above, seonah was born in staten island, new york on august 7th, 1998.

her parents, originally from daegu, built a life stateside in the early '90s, so they were already pretty blended into the american routine by the time they had seonah.

in new york, seonah often went by her english name ramona, often shortened to mona. the name was derived from an old jazz singer and pianist her mother loved.

one of the main reasons seonah's parents even moved from south korea was so that her mother could try her luck at the new york jazz scene. she was a gifted pianist with quick hands who had always ensured seonah's life was filled with music.

those very sessions with fellow musicians she worked with were the catalyst for seonah's obsession with the saxophone. a musician seonah would always call uncle franklin would come and play the sax at their south shore townhome, while the small child watched and danced along.

he was actually the one to gift seonah her very own saxophone at age ten, by which her younger sister seoyeol had been born and was clinging to seonah's legs while she struggled to play the instrument.

the characteristics of her music were very much shaped by the staten island jazz scene, and the city's famous festival was a tradition for the whole family.

from her father did seonah inherit a love of gardening, building terrariums and making sure a healthy amount of green was present in all her decorating. she and her father would spend hours carefully placing moss, stones, grass and water in small glass containers until they resembled miniature nature scenes.

she spent a good amount of time in her dad's store as well, helping him stock and clean up throughout her childhood. the value of hard work was an early lesson for seonah and it would likely stick with her permanently.

that store, however, would come to be the site of a horrible tragedy that would uproot many lives.

TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD

her mother and father were working the late shift at the store one night when a masked gunman entered, demanding cash. her parents were both killed during the exchange, leaving seonah and her sister to grieve them at far too young an age.

as the two had no other blood relatives in the area, their parents' friends franklin and his wife delisle were named in a will to take the children in and raise them as their own.

it was an extremely tough transition, but the pair, along with another of their parents' closest friends adam made sure the sisters never went without love and encouragement. they refused to let the children's view of the world become twisted due to what they had gone through, and they were a huge part of why the two made it through that period of their lives.

END TRIGGER WARNING

now being raised by franklin, seonah was kept occupied by saxophone lessons, camping trips, walks through the city — any and everything she loved simply to keep her mind off the tragedy her family had faced.

despite her new guardians' best efforts to make her childhood fulfilling, seonah couldn't help but feel somewhat aimless after the passing of both her parents, and even a bit disconnected from them. she developed a fairly unbothered demeanor that some would even mistake for just not caring, though that was the furthest thing from the truth.

as she finished out her primary schooling and prepared to apply to the manhattan school of music, she floated the idea of possibly traveling to her parents' home city of daegu after graduating college to franklin and delisle. they met the idea with approval, thinking it was an excellent chance to reconnect with a past she'd never really gotten to discover.

after training up her musical talents to her instructors' satisfaction, it was finally time to say farewell to her family. she couldn't have said thank you to franklin, delisle and adam more times if she'd tried. seonah looked upon her now teenaged sister with slight guilt, feeling as though she were abandoning her for her own selfish reasons. seoyeol simply threw her arms around seonah and promised her she'd seek out universities in daegu so they could see each other soon.

and that was it, she was off to daegu with a graduation present of a one way flight and some won to run on until she found work. thankfully, that didn't take too long, as she found a pretty fancy restaurant looking for jazz musicians of her caliber.

seonah made a vow to herself that she would only speak in korean and only use her korean name until she felt that familiar connection to her parents once more.

she soon found a home in the confines of sueunju sharehouse, and though it's filled with strangers, it reminds her of the blended household she lived in back in staten island and even makes her oft expressionless visage falter into a smile. though she is still very much getting used to living in daegu two years on, her life is in a place of contentment for the time being. she continues to chase memories that have long since passed her by, barely conscious of all the new ones she is making in the process.

PERSONALITY

some would call her an ice queen, but she's more like a snow angel. like she's definitely composed, doesn't like to argue and sometimes comes off as though she's silently plotting your demise in a corner, but there is a warmth to seonah that is unmistakable. she can be so cold to the touch but also reach directly into your heart and make you melt. she is a mess of contradicting thoughts and feelings and words, but she could be ur mess of contradicting thoughts and feelings and words, u know???

only really loses her cool when it comes to music she's excited about, if her heart's a little bit broken or if she's lost something near and dear to her (her saxophone goes missing, one of her terrariums get broken, etc) and it's sad, but also kind of funny cmvnbvncb!

she's very inquisitive, especially about the daily routine in daegu. she desperately wants to know more about the lives her parents lived before they moved to america, and being that she's only been in south korea for two years, she isn't as in touch with things as she feels like she should be. stop her if she's asking too many questions — she just gets into a flow of seeking information and doesn't realize it sometimes!

a girl of many hobbies: gardening, camping, building terrariums, hitting up the thrift store, smoking on roofs, seeing performances at masquerade, noraebang, etc. and she loves doing these things with friends! partake in any of these activities with her, and you'll earn a special place in her heart and the slightest aura of a smile just for you.

sometimes she just??? disappears. sometimes her social energy simply runs out and she needs some time to recharge it. she's not trying to ghost, she promises! she just needs a couple days of mirror glaring and deep rumination before she's ready to have company again.

a wanted plot of mine (!!!!!!) but i also hc her as recently single with a lot of regretful and reluctant pining for her ex lol. she's in her slightly reckless era in an attempt to forget them, so pls forgive her for any messy moments 😘

#midnightintro #´ ❇ 𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 . #/don't mind me breaking the ice 🤭

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

In what finding your passion looks like in medicine. maybe.

I work in IM.

Where most of the time it's a desk job. 80% of my patients can't realy communicate. My notes are often, "pleasantly confused" or agitated.

Plans are "collateral history" which means, call their fam on a phone. At my desk. then taking notes on a computer. ordering labs. ordering imaging. making a referral also consists of logging it in a computer, then making a phone call.

I enjoy my job, but it never makes for great television. There is literally a reality show being filmed in my hospital. And they're never interested in filming anything my dept does. I mean, I wouldn't watch what I do on television. My medical students I'm sure are confused by this job. The new ones anyway. Most of the job is sitting at a computer and looking at numbers. Unless they're really sick, in which case that becomes a code or a terrible conversation with families.

When I try do regular people stuff, like taking calls from I don't know, someone trying to sell me something or offer a service, while I'm at a code, in resus or giving a family bad news. I literally don't know what to say sometimes. The other side will ask, is this a bad time almost out of courtesy - and literally it is a terrible time. So, no I cannot actually carry on a 30 second conversation about an upgrade to my mobile plan while my patient is dying and the fam are here. I know they're doing a job. Not like they realize how extreme my job can be. It becomes a very surreal moment in my life. Or worse, I can't really tell my kids at the age they are, why I'm late to pick them up because literally someone's dying.

In the reverse situation. My junior coworkers freak out about waking up family in the middle of the night sometimes for their patients. I have to tell them, this is a 'new' normal, when your loved one is in hospital you'll want that middle of the night update no matter what, just call and wake them. We work in an abnormal situation all the time.

So when it's bad it's bad. When it's mundane, it's really mundane.

Anyway. Watching youtube/netflix on what the average person makes on the job etc. and what they do. I.e. on Mr Beast, an archeologist makes 100k a year to look at bones outside (sounds amazing by the way).

I think about what I make.

Actually most days I don't even think about it. I go to work. it's busy. Shit happens. It's an adrenaline rush. I go home to my kids, it's busy. After it all winds down I'm vegging in front of youtube again.

what's in a job anyway. if it's about the money, clearly i picked the wrong direction multiple times. I don't know how to describe the intensity of it sometimes.

The time I've left to myself is really used to relax after the highs and lows of work and life with kids.

Or worse. Time left is used to try to forget some of the intense moments that happen. Whether a bad outcome or a conflict with someone at work. Or not getting to the meaningful diagnosis or management issue in time, IM is a constant puzzle and some cases are challenging (these moments make you feel dumb and perpetuates imposter syndrome). It's a lot to take it. In some ways, "you get used to it." Which is the most over used phrase ever. How to to normalize things over time. Other times it's working on getting past it

It's pretty consuming job. When you enjoy something and it gives you meaning. Most of the time anyway. Slowing down to find balance is the hard part. We're not built to be machines that just go to work. You can make a lot of money in medicine if you tried, but you won't have energy or time to spend it. People go big when it comes to vacations now or honeymoons if they can take it. Because sometimes all you can do is take the day off to attend your own wedding. For parents who are not the primary caregiver, often all you get is 1-2 weeks off. Is it really worth any money? lol what's the value. I know a cardiologist who works too much cause they have 4 kids and childcare is expensive. But they love that job.

Is it a job? or a strange addiction.

#medblr #medlife

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi could I get a romantic matchup for Haikyuu

Pronouns are she/her and I have a preference for men. Could I also ask for a mini fic of any kind like whatever you think of. I’m not sure if it’s part of this specific event but it was on your matchup rules. If not that’s totally fine!

Also please let me know if I forgot to include something!

Ideal First date: My dream date is probably at an amusement park (Disneyland maybe) because it was the highlight of my childhood and allows me to not act like I have a stick up my ass all the time and have fun LMAO. I’d prefer it over just a dinner date or a movie because it’s more fun. I also just think amusement parks are romantic and in a sucker for cute fluffy cliche stuff. In general though I would enjoy any date that shows that he put thought and effort into it and actually values the time I’m spending with him. (Like instead of just saying “let’s hang out. What do you want to do”, be like “hey when are you available this week? Saturday? Ok be ready at 7 on Saturday”. I like that because it shows initiative and interest). Also if we are meeting each other somewhere don’t be late I will leave. So overall any date that’s fun, shows effort, interest, and shows that he actually took the time to think about my personality and what I’d like.

Personality: INTJ 3w4. I’m introverted and calm most of the time. I can be socially awkward but if I prepare myself or plan beforehand I can be very charming. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. But I can also overthink a lot of things and plan out too much of my interactions with people. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that but I usually try my best to understand the other person and their needs. I hate small talk and I like people who are blunt and logical but also have emotional intelligence. However, I cannot deal with overly emotional people who are extremely dramatic and make a big deal of their feelings when a situation can be logically resolved much more quickly and peacefully. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards and I can sometimes be very critical of others because of my high expectations. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself but these standards cause me to be extremely hard on myself when it comes to falling short of my expectations or making mistakes. I’m very understanding, fair, and extremely loyal. I’d literally take a bullet for my friends but I also expect the same kind of loyalty in return. I’m very devoted to my principles and can often have a hard time forgiving people if they do something I find to be fundamentally wrong according to my principles. I have trust issues with romance but when I fall in love I fall really hard and I’m very romantic (im a songwriter so I’ll literally write lyrics about them and draw them and stuff). A lot of people don’t realize how deeply I feel things because I don’t show it on the surface. I’ve also been told I seem intimidating until someone gets to know me. Some of my dealbreakers are: misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed. How are they going to support and protect me if they can’t even stand up for themselves when needed.), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions, people who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better for not wanting to break rules to get what they want, and people who can't take responsibility for their actions. (I would respect someone whose honest about being a bad person a lot more than I respect someone who tries to come across as kind and caring all the time no matter what. It’s like that Jack sparrow quote, “I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid”. I fully agree with him. I also have a short temper when people act like the things I mentioned, or if I’m in a situation where people are being inefficient or wasting my time but if people communicate effectively I’ll be very patient and help them come up with a way to deal with their situation.

Hobbies/ Likes: I love music. I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. My all time favorite band is Buck-Tick and I love dark wave/goth music like Depeche Mode. However I literally listen to everything so it’s hard to say a single genre I like more than others. I can't play any instruments but I also make my own music. (Shameless self promo but here’s my new song) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline. I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading.

I love fashion and ive been modeling since I was 14. I also did some pageants as a kid. As for my style, I can’t pick a specific vibe or aesthetic because I think I’m simultaneously goth, preppy, athletic, and nerdy. It just depends on how I feel. The only common trait is whatever I wear will always look great😌. I tend to wear darker colors though but I also really like y2k and I have a bunch of lavender juicy tracksuits and stuff (I love purple). I also switch between wanting to look more masculine and androgynous or more glam and feminine. Sometimes I think of a song I want to look like and pick an outfit based on the song. My style is very bold and sometimes flamboyant and I love being admired and complimented. I may not be very social but I instead attract attention with how I present myself. I’m Indian but a lot of people have said I look like Atsushi Sakurai when he was younger.

I don’t want to be paired with nishinoya, tanaka, or hinata I don’t think I’d get along with them that well.

notes 💌: GURL I LOVE YOUR CONFIDENCE OMG! I love seeing confident people like you and btw that song SLAPS! Cant wait to see what else you make in the future!! thanks so much for participating in my event and i hope you have an amazing valentine's day this year!! <3

THE CHARACTER CUPID CHOOSES FOR YOU THIS VALENTINE’S DAY IS…

KUROO!!

he's kinda the opposite when it comes to you being introverted

he is definitely not a shy guy

he's super social, but he will NEVER force you into a social situation if you dont want any part of it

he likes that you have a charming side. and he especially likes that you have that charming side around him <3

HE LOVES THAT YOU ARE SO PREPARED FOR SITUATIONS

like seeing you be this very prepares and thoughtful person has him head over heels for you

he finds that part about you very attractive

he will definitely encourage you not to overthink though

overthinking can be AWFUL and leave nothing but bad thoughts sometimes, so he sure can help when you think you've bumped into a really bad area in your overthinking journey

he is just always here for you

luckily, you dont really need to worry about his emotional health, he knows how to handle when things go downhill, but know that if he really needs your help, he will ask

he will support you if you do the same as a relationship should be

he very much has his shit together

he is very logical and emotionally intelligent so you have a good man on your hands

he is super calm about his feelings and again, knows how to deal with bad situations on his own

he knows that you have a perfectionist side about you and sometimes you two can butt heads because of it

mostly because he doesnt want you thinking that you need to be perfect

imperfections are what he loves and to see you hating on them makes him upset

so just know that you're getting a man who will show you A LOT of his love

he will be 100% loyal to you and to know that he has that in return makes him LITERALLY SO IN LOVE OMG

literally both of you are so in love fr

and if you wrote a song about him he would probably lose it tbh

like he cant believe that you love him that much, but he is so over the moon about it

he thinks it is super romantic that you are able to show your feelings that way to him and he's glad you have that outlet

so he 100% supports your music

he actually didnt think you were intimidating and that's why yall fit LMFAO

you two just liked each other right off the bat

you two definitely make fun of oikawa and his huge ass ego LMFAO

you two get through arguments and stuff very well

and very logically

it's wonderful and SUPER HEALTHY

like people around you are JEALOUS omg

sing to him or just play music around him

that's his comfort time for sure

he also loves how confident you are, it really makes him love and support you even more and means there's nothing that he has to do unless you really need it and he will latch onto you the moment you need help

he loves the way you dress and present yourself and wants you to help him dress just as cool lol

literally thinks your a stunning and wonderfully smart partner and wouldnt ask for anyone else <3

💌 HOW WOULD HE ASK YOU TO BE HIS VALENTINE??

simply, he would just ask you upfront. you would be doing some work and get an unexpected little kiss on the head from kuroo when he asks: "wanna be my valentine?"

💌 VALENTINE’S DAY DATE

"Are you open Valentine's day?" Kuroo asked you, looking at his own calendar, his computer open in front of him. You checked your schedule, the 14th completely free. "Yeah, why?" Kuroo smiled at you and walked over, placing a kiss onto your cheek. "Because you and I are going to Disneyland on the 14th." "Really?!" You exclaimed, feeling like a kid again. "Of course we are! I know how much you love it and you haven't been in a really long time, so why not? Plus, I've never been myself, so I think it would be a good time." "You've never been?" "Nope, not once." Kuroo walked back to his computer and ordered the tickets, getting excited. "Well, you're gonna love it. Man, it's been so long." You laid back on your bed and smiled at the ceiling. "Kuroo, you're the best." "Aw, you're too sweet, y/n." He ordered the tickets and walked over to you, pulling you into his arms. "I'm excited. Just the two of us and a really stupidly fun day." --- When you two ended up in Disneyland again, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed. It's like all the stresses of life disappeared, and here you were in the most magical place on earth. You showed Kuroo all of your favorite rides and ordered all of your favorite foods. Kuroo even ended up getting you something special from the gift shop. You showed him the best time that he's had in a long time and he did just the same for you. Hours passed and you couldn't stop all of the fun. Lots of small jokes from Kuroo and loving giggles from you. At dinner, the two of you were seated at one of the best places at the park to eat and a smile was stuck on your lips. "Thanks for taking me here, Kuroo." "No need to thank me. Thank you for having fun." A special Valentine's dessert came to the table and the two of you smiled. "Happy Valentine's Day." You said in unison. <3

~~~~~

mystery date rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

#mystery date #matchup #matchups #writing #my writing #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kuroo #kuroo x reader

[sunflower-lotus]

i want to write more because this was my place of rest years ago. i feel like i had some of my best connections on tumblr throughout the years into the ethers and beyond, and provided a comfort in expressing myself.

this feels like a good time to start tracking out im feeling. i haven’t been able to speak freely for years or ever. but in a more recent past i couldn’t even write poetry, which was my way of communicating anything i could be feeling.

too much happened too quickly and it just became hard to catch up.

i feel like i’ve finally been able to reckon with how i feel about being in a new but old place. when i was last here i was just turning eighteen and heading away to school and that was my life until 3 years ago.

i did have roots here but we all outgrew them gracefully. and what i learned about friendship in the years that followed shaped me.

i met so many people that changed my life and realized that everything is so very valuable. losing a best friend taught me that i needed to stop un-thawing and just thaw out.

and it made me very thankful, and very aware of wasted time. that is one thing i want to stop beating myself up about. “wasted time” like.. what is that?

but it also helped me be like my late friend and show humility in communicating the value of others, the heart of why we connect. and so i’ve taken that up as part of my own attributes finding where it fits in me and helps me miss him in a way that hurts a little less.

2 weeks ago, i went back to a home i had built with only my own making away from family and felt a friend hug me for the first time in so long and say they loved me. and i realized again that i am loved. like yo, that’s wondrous. cus i had forgot.

these 3 years have been full of new things, and this past year i met so many people. i’ve learned so much more than i could’ve thought i would.

altho, it feels like everyone has their community here. i have somehow manage to find pockets of connecting. i never planned to be back here so i really didn’t start making connections until i felt secure to. until i started to affirm myself as deserving of connections.

i can’t do anything that i don’t feel abundant in. the nature of venus in taurus.

i also didn’t really know that i had much value to people outside of allowing them to hear their own thoughts, up until recently.

life humbles me and reminds me i am loved all in the same and i only hope for the same tender and loving kindness when things get harder to manage emotionally.

im happy to remain open and to be humbled in what it means to express, like constantly be reminded of what i actually don’t need. like humility to me is only having what you need in self expression nothing more or less.

i am forever grateful, and i always will be.

still trying to learn as quickly as possibly to love better each time around. each interation of myself and another.

i wanna thaw out more as get comfortable.

#me

[rhaenyras]

Lately, I’ve been going through some deep soul-searching about money and class. I’m a mixed-race East and South Asian person (Chinese father and Pakistani mother), and I grew up in a family that is descended from an indentured worker background. Growing up, we were always struggling financially. I got involved in social movements both because of my class background and my queerness (my racial consciousness came later on). My parents had a “model minority” mentality, always encouraging me to pursue education, make money and get ahead, but I always pushed back against this capitalist mindset. I did end up going to law school, but always worked in non-profit advocacy positions, mostly for migrant workers. 

Long story short, I did that for a bunch of years, as well as volunteer activism on the side. I got burned out. I know I did some good work that helped people, but for every success it seemed like there were a bunch more failures. And there was so much conflict and infighting in the activism and advocacy world. Eventually I just couldn’t take it anymore, it was ruining my mental health and my relationship with my partner, so I quit. I took a bunch of time off, and then I had to work again to pay the bills. When I returned to work, I took a government job, and I make way more money than I ever thought I would. I have benefits and a work-life balance but the work is in opposition to my politics. At best, it’s meaningless bureaucracy, and at worst, the work we do might actually be harmful to marginalized communities. I try to use my position to minimize the harm, but you know how these things are. It’s all a giant machine, and I’m a part of it. 

I think about going back to advocacy work all the time, but I actually just can’t stomach it. I get anxious just thinking about it. And the truth is, I like having more money and stability. Everything was a struggle before, and now it’s easier. I can take care of myself and my partner now, and I don’t want to give that up. I feel awful saying it, but it’s true. I can’t really talk about this with my activist friends, because I know they wouldn’t understand, and when I talk about it with my non-activist friends, they basically just tell me I have to look out for number one, which isn’t helpful. Am I an awful person ? Have I sold my soul ? What can I do to live according to my values, but to also have a sustainable work-life balance ?

i also work in administration. specifically i make passports for italian citizens that can use those to freely travel the world and cross international borders as privileged eu citizens. of course I don't believe in all that. I don't believe borders should exist in the first place and i dont like the fact that sometimes i have to deny help to people who don't qualify for our services as extra-eu citizens. but what can i do? quit the best most stimulating job I've ever landed and that has helped me to start a new life in a brand new country? i know im just another brick in the wall and that it's not my fault if the system is faulted at the root and leaves someone behind. if anything, i try to work with the grey areas and have many times undertaken unauthorized actions that my superiors didn't agree with when i issued certificates that extra-eu citizens could use to apply for a visa or long term residence permit here in germany. we can work with whatever freedom of movement we're allotted in our respective positions without necessarily losing those positions. in fact, it's better if people like us hold these positions, lest they go to racist homophobic sexist assholes. if anything we can still offer some word of advice (we're still privileged compared to them but at least we emphatise and understand the problem) or try to pull some levers and see what we can do to at least mend the structural defect. aaand. activism can be something you do for free, online or irl, without the prospect of a financial reward. it's sad but, most times activism is just volunteering and you can't make a living out of that. im not ashamed to say that most of my activism is now online and that it takes up most of my free time. i understand if you wanna feel like you do something more permanent and worthwhile with your time by physically being out there and helping people but there's only so much time and energy one can count on in a day. it's frustrating but it's true and we have to compromise. your desire to be ubiquitous is admirable but simply unfeasible. besides, online activism is on the rise and I've noticed that the english speaking side of most social media could definitely use some activists for a variety of social battles. if i were you, i would look into that

#i hope that helped in some minor way #im sorry but it's true tho #i know so many coherent and educated italian speaking poc activists #and i mean social media activists #but I can't say the same about the english speaking ones #if you ever decide to try online activism.... send me your username #I'll be glad to follow!!!! #ask #anon #anonymous

[whaleofatjme1920]

Having a kind of bad day... Could I just have some soft Time headcanons, they can be part nsfw too, to feed the thirst

🌙 anon (if it isn't taken)

Soft Masky/Timothy Wright Headcanons

IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE AHHHHHH I HOPE YOUR DAY IS BETTER IF NOT PLEASE TAKE THESE MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES and ofc YOU CAN HAVE THAT EMOJI

There is NSFW here so, Minors DNI

I feel I should mention here I also write Tim and Masky as entirely different people as well. Same situation as Brian/Hoodie.

Tim is trying to cut back on cigarettes but it's honestly not working lmfao. To combat this, he's taking those wint-o-green mints like crazy.

Tim likes to drive! Will go on mindless drives just to clear his head.

He listens to all kinds of music during the drives.

Sometimes he sees a bunch of like, opossums on the drive. He likes to name them.

Tim has a habit of talking to himself and humming.

I feel like we've established Tim is a DILF, so like, the dad jokes from him are IMMENSE.

His humor is so dry but also highkey unmatched. It's just great and makes you cringe.

Tim is always the guy driving. He does it so his teammates can sleep. And to be completely honest? He doesn't trust Kate or Toby driving.

He wants Hoodie to have plenty of rest though.

Tim likes to go to places at weird hours of the day. Waffle Houses at 2 in the morning? Hell yeah.

I actually think that's a common thing between all the creeps.

Tim gets ultimate say on the temp house his group is staying in and I swear he's keeping track of the bedrooms and baths because he views his group as his 'family,' and I use family extremely loosely. He's responsible for them, and part of that is wanting their comfort.

Other than Kate, his team comes to him for advice because he won't sugar coat anything and makes you feel safe and secure.

Tim makes friends with the local wildlife wherever he and his group are staying.

He still plays the ukulele. You can often hear him playing it around noon or in the early evenings, just having a nice time in the sunshine or when it's raining and no one wants to go out.

Tim sometimes tells stories while he's cooking.

Tim does a lot of cooking.

He's pretty good at it. He's also pretty good at baking too.

Tim also makes some really good sweet tea for when it's hot outside.

He doesn't always like to say it, but the missions in Alabama are his most favored. He knows Alabama sucks, but it feels nostalgic.

Tim has spent entire days in home depot.

You can't change my mind on that one.

Tim also has a habit of making warm drinks for his proxies when they're in weird moods. The drink usually depends on the situation and is often accompanied by a pastry he thinks fits the situation.

Honestly, he's a caretaker. He's not always gentle about it with Hoodie or Toby, but with Kate? He's super sweet.

Tim is honestly a dad to Kate. He values her opinion and treats her relatively well. He treated her especially well even when she was subject to the hazing process, where as Hoodie and Toby didn't really hold back.

Tim is a sarcastic, witty guy!

He still likes roller skating.

Yes, the roller skates are often pink.

He has a strong, strong sense of debt to Brian/Hoodie because of what happened when Brian died the first time. He would do anything for his best friend.

Honestly Tim is a really loyal guy.

He still coughs. He still needs those pills. And weirdly enough, he's not the only one.

He honestly helps out newer proxies because he knows how rough it is.

Tim wouldn't admit it, but he has Jay's hat. Never wears it, just... Keeps it.

Tim has a hard time hurting things smaller and weaker than him. He falters, and Hoodie or Toby need to step in.

Tim takes joy in the little things. A smile from a friend, the breeze in summer, how snow falls in winter, the rains in April, flowers springing up, the sound of distant conversation, it reminds him that he's grounded.

Some NSFW Stuff

We've established that Tim is a DILF. When he's not being a total dom, he's such a sweet and attentive lover??

Like, he's so good at praise and making you feel loved.

Wonders if you're okay as he pushes in, just biting his lip and watching as you struggle to take him in.

Lots of quiet, soft kisses and breaths in your ear and on your lips.

He touches you like you are fragile.

Will call you cute nicknames.

He's so aware that he's bigger than you and will often have you ride him.

Sometimes, he just lets you rest on his chest while his hips do the work.

Soft, gentle touches!!

Early morning sex!! It's before the world is awake!! Just huddle with him under the covers, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pushes slowly in, kissing your neck and telling you how good you're taking him.

He looks at you with so much love.

If you swallow his cum when you're sucking his dick he's gonna call you a "good X". Thinks you look adorable.

If you've got your legs wrapped around his waist, he will rest his forehead against yours and just roll his hips, allowing you to feel the full weight and fullness. Praises you for even letting him bottom out. He knows he's girthier than more men,,,,,,,,,,

Aftercare with him so GOOD.

Will carry you if you're too weak.

Praises you some more.

Lots of kisses.

Maybe a bath together???

Honestly when he's in a much more sweet mood, the whole thing becomes giggles and warm faces from just a sweet type of love. It's not feral at all, just Tim holding you and telling you how much he loves you while he makes you see stars.

#masky #masky headcanon #masky x reader #tim wright #tim wright x reader #tim wright headcanon #marble hornets #marble hornets x reader #marble hornets headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanon #nsft

[alyblacklist]

Hey, I know you are not feeling the most friendly toward Red and TBL in general right now but I can't help but wonder of Red was right. I mean Liz was killed by Van Dyke (was that his name) who worked for Townsend. Townsend wanted Liz dead because of whatever Ivan Stepanov told him. I assume that was Red's big secret. If so, wasn't Red right about not telling Liz the secret. I mean she has a history of trusting people even though she doesn't know them well. Example: she trusted Jennifer after they had just met. Jennifer could have been working for an enemy yet Liz trusted her because of a biological connection (which she had no proof of). Also, blonde Kat, need I say more. She has proved that she has no sense of loyalty whatsoever betraying Red and the task force multiple times:

1.21/ 1.22 (Though, she had just found out that Red killed her father. I think that can be excused)

Season 3- she faked her death- did she not consider what she would be doing to Red, Ressler, Cooper, Aram, Samar and Dembe or did she just not care ? using gifs to make my point

Season 6- She turned Red in, nearly getting him killed and putting the TF, including herself, in danger. What if the government had decided to disavow all of them??

Season 8- She goes on the run, betraying the people who've stood by her for years and dedicates herself to killing the man who's protected her since she was a kid and has literally traded his life for hers. All of this for a woman who claims to be her mother. She values this alleged biological connection so much she ignores all the horrible things she knows blonde Kat has don.

Liz says she values honesty above all else and hates Red for not telling her things, but she constantly lies to, uses and manipulates the people she calls her family.

Opinions?

Thanks!

im posting this on my blog too.

I've gone back and forth on whether I should even answer this ask because I'm like a week late due to life events intervening but maybe I do need to say it:

I categorically and emphatically disagree with the idea that Red was EVER right in not telling Liz his secret because Liz was somehow untrustworthy. Liz resorted to trusting virtual strangers such as Jennifer and the fake Katarina only after Red repeatedly and mercilessly withheld basic information about HER OWN LIFE from her for years, all the while killing her adoptive father, admitting he "hired" her husband, killing Mr. Kaplan, killing her "mother" as far as she knew until the very end, keeping Kirk and Tom and anyone else who ever tried to get her the truth from telling her to the point that Tom died, all the while telling her it was either none of her business but done for her "protection"....I mean, come ON. She was not a child! She was a 35+ mom of a child who deserved to know why she was in all of this nebulous, supposed "danger" her whole life. She deserved to be invested in Red's plans especially when he expected her to take over his empire. What - she was supposed to do that blind to its purpose? To figure it out from that stupid letter?

Red held all the cards from day one. He allowed Dembe, and Dom and Ivan Stepanov - the important MEN in his life to know his secret and yet he couldn't bring himself to ever tell Liz. This is probably my biggest issue with the show right now. It was like everyone BUT Liz got to know "THE TRUTH." Even in the end - even after his SWORN ENEMY Townsend learned "THE TRUTH" he had to condition LIZ learning it on that stupid letter and his requirement that she KILL HIM? Who does that? Why is that in any way acceptable? We don't know. The only reasons we (the audience) were even given were a whole bunch of none of your business and I'm not sure why I can't tell her. Nothing - NOTHING - that Liz ever did supports how Red treated her in the end. Nothing except Red's colossal ego.

If the bones were really her biological father's as we have been told, she had a right to know that and why.

If Red is her biological mother as they hinted, it's even worse. And no, I still don't accept that as canon but I can't deny that's where they've left us with the teasing. Because then there is no larger motive or purpose to protect her mother or innocent third parties. Then, it is exactly as presented in 8.21/8.22 - all of this only to keep her mother (Red) hidden and Liz "safe" (an abject failure in the end). What a whole lot of death and destruction to protect a woman who wanted nothing more than to know WHY she needed to be protected. Who desperately wanted agency over her own life and deserved to have it. Who was an ADULT with a child of her own.

Even if Red is NOT her mother and is still an unrelated third man (as I hope) it's not much better. Maybe then he's at least conflicted between protecting Katarina/others while keeping Liz in the loop but this again begs the question - why enter/re-enter her life at all? Why keep her in the dark on these nebulous threats when the biggest threat ever seemed to be chasing after the mother she wasn't even aware of until AFTER Red entered her life? She was FOUR when her mother died. She was never, ever in danger unless and until the world learned she was leverage to get to Katarina, which they never would have learned had Red not done what he did for his own selfish reasons.

From where I sit, there was never, ever a good reason not to tell her why she was in danger and what her connection was to Red and to let her be a full invested player in her own future, and Agnes's future. I think Liz could have been trusted if Red would have trusted her. Yes, I get we wouldn't have a show if they had chosen to fill her in. It's the premise. But to see any part of audience defend Liz remaining in the dark after eight seasons because they just love Red/Spader so much that he can do no wrong, nope, I'm not ok with that. As things stand now, there was never a reason for Liz not to know "THE TRUTH" beyond Red's ego. And I guess that is why I cannot look forward to S9 because if he gets to prance around and pretend like nothing happened and it wasn't all his fault, and everyone happily claps while he does his thing, I will still be seething and raging. Liz deserved better. We - the audience - deserved better than for Raymond Reddington to be the "strong female character" of the Blacklist (I can't believe I actually have to type that). What a mess.

#ask #fandom-but-chaotic #Raymond reddington #the blacklist #Elizabeth keen #anti-Redarina #anti-rederina #rant

[chocominnie]

Desperado — 09 (M) | JJK

Pairing: Badboy!Jungkook X Reader

Summary : A messy situationship at it’s finest. You don’t even know whats headed your way, just even engaging in the slightest within him. See, he has an assignment to complete. A mission granted by his father thats do or die. You just so happen to be a major pawn in that assignment. He didn’t mean to take an interest in you. Surely it was an accident right? Only except. you hold much value in this game that he’ll do anything to complete it. Oblivious is what you are. Poor thing. Poor.. Poor thing.

Genre: Mature/ Mafia!Jungkook

Trailer: xxxxx  preview 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08

Word Count : 7.3k

Warnings : This honestly isn’t for the light hearted and the weak…High angst, usage of drugs, drug mentions, mental illness, switch!jungkook, Brat reader, possible stockholm syndrom, kidnapping, assault, death of side characters, murder, weapons, usage of weapons, masturbation, physical violence, blood, alcohol, weed, unprotected and protected sex, spanking, honestly its a lot of aruging…

Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

TW : Suicide, Body Hanging for display.

Her hair moves so flawlessly and the her breasts spill over the mini triangle bra with each sensual move she makes. The way her waist and body whines against the pole could leave absolutely anyone in a trance.The rhythm of the music blasts in the air and she’s directly on beat to it, not missing anything through the song playing. 

The led lights are dimmed low enough in a red color, but enough for everyone to see. Shes uncaring at the men in the room sizing her up in her designer high waisted thong that hugs her hips very well, showing off her round, plump ass. That was what she wanted, the attention all on her while they throw hundred dollar bills for her. 

“ Who knew someone could get down and dirty like that.”

To no suprise, Jimin, the ladies man but heartbreaker for sure, enters the private room and closing the door beind him. He throws a stack of money towards her, as he was the seemingly late one to the meet-up. 

“ Jungkook is late, he’s never late. What’s taking him so long?” A grumpy Namjoon says, looking down at his apple-watch. It’s half past 10 pm and usually he’s the first one here.

“ He’s probably sucking up to yn-”

The girl turns her head sharply towards the boys, overhearing what they said. She furrows her eyebrows at them, “ Why would he be doing that..”

Taehyung lets out a small groan. “ Because Mr. Lover boy has gotten himself a crush. The worst part is, she’s his target for this mission.”

“ Shut the fuck up. I don’t have a crush on her, i’m just doing my job.” A semi-loud voice roars through the doors. Everyone stops to look at the sudden intruder and to relief it’s him, Jungkook. 

Of course he has to lie about that. He knew for sure he caught himself up with you and the feelings were strong. Though the big bad mafia boy catching feelings for his target is highly uncommon, and Jungkook doesn’t know the consequences.

“ Jungkook..” The girl says, frowning at him with her hand on her hips. He takes a seat on the couch and tilts his head at her to go on. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the young boy. “ You fell for her.. so what about us?”

It isn’t hard to say that he doesn’t have any more feelings left for the girl. She and him both knew what they agreed upon. The pair had history together, sexual to be exact. Romance was hardly there if he were to be honest. She’d began actually working for Won-Shik, under this club they’re in now which is owned by him, a year ago. Jungkook had entered the club once when he was considered a minor, but that was to pass a message along to the girl from his father. He was told to go straight in and straight out. Of course, he did the exact opposite. Sat around looking at all the half naked women that night as the music blared loud. 

It wasn’t until his phone rang and it was Casper telling him to hurry up and come back to the car, is when he finally decided to get up and look for the girl. When he did find her, it was over with for him. The girl was, and still is, stunning. One of the many foreign girls in the club but she’s the one that stood out of all. She wore nothing but a small outfit as she danced on the pole. Her beauty mesmorized Jungkook that night as he watched her dance in awe. Soon enough she came to him showing her her dimply smile and perfect teeth.

He was stunned alright. She knew he looked to be too young for the club so she asked him his age. He told her, and thats when she nearly called security on him until he told her who he was and affiliated with. The message was passed along accordingly to her, she got the memo. Jungkook though, kept coming back to that club and always going to where she was, following her around the club like a lost puppy. She enjoyed his time, as all she did was sit and talk with him and that turned out to not be enough for him. He wanted her, and she insisted that he was too young for her. 

So Jungkook did what any other person would do when feeling rejected, he started to present himself like a true man and mafia boy. The gym was his favorite place after that and he buffed up very well. That jawline of his got sharper and his personality gained more confidence and dominant by the time he turned nineteen. He of course kept going at her, shooting his shot anytime he could and yet kept getting denied. It wasn’t until his nineteenth birthday is when he begged her telling her how bad he wanted her, and that lap dance he kept suggesting months before. Since it was his birthday and he was legal, she gave him what he wanted but that still wasn’t enough for him. He wanted her underneath him bad. The slight age gap between them didn’t phase Jungkook at all. What he wants, is what he gets. 

And he did.

And kept getting it, and getting it, and getting it since then. 

“ Relax baby, I’ll still be coming around you know that.” His voice is smooth, smirking at her.  He wasn’t going to be coming around as much, but he knew that would disappoint her. 

She purses her lips and begins walking towards him and sits directly on his lap, straddling him. Jungkook can’t push her off the way he wants to because it would confirm the crush rumors from the boys about you. So he lets her sit there, uncomfortable as hell for him. 

Namjoon clears his throat to get the rest of the group attention. It’s nearly 11 pm and Crystal has been blowing up his phone ever since he stepped foot in the club. He told her beforehand about the meeting, but she wanted him at her apartment by at least 1 am. 

“ We all know you love yn, but remember who you are Jungkook.” Namjoon says, glaring at the boy who returns the glare back at him. “ Fuck you. Like I said, im just doing my job.”

“ If you were doing your job Jungkook, there’s no way in the hell that it should take you this long. “ Jin retaliates. He knows hes right.

By this time, Jimin had finished preparing seven perfectly rolled blunts filled with the most finest imported weed. He places them onto the tray, taking his own and then passing the tray to Yoongi. Each of the boys take their own until it reaches down to Jungkook who takes his and puts the tray back onto the table. 

“ Enough about her. I was summoned to go over the details for the next seven days. “ Jungkook groans, sparking his blunt and inhaling. He passes it Melanie, who takes it to inhale as well. 

A malicious smile comes upon Yoongi’s face as he exhales the smoke into the already fogged up air. One thing he loves to talk about is torture. One of bangtan’s best walking torture device to be known.

“ Tonight we are starting.. I say you let me go first.” Yoongi pauses, taking a long inhale of his blunt. “ I’m coming for their trade transaction place. Arson, let me burn the bitch down and then fuck around with their father.”

It’s a good idea. Sending a message after burning it down straight to it’s opponent. Fire is Yoongi’s thing, and that’s his signature marking in the Bangtan Boys. The father of the shooter was one of their dealers, until the shooter’s father fucked up by taking money out of bangtan’s cut little by little. The boys knew about it, they waited for the perfect time back then to take action. Of course, giving them a mission to complete.. or so he thought. The mission was a false one. Created by Jungkook to catch him off guard. Jungkook used some of the mafia men on Won-Shik’s side to set up a trade off of drugs, decieving the shooter’s father by thinking they were just setting up a regular mafia trade from another gang. The trade was complete, but their protection was no more. Needless to say, the men didn’t even make it back to their cars. It was a bloodshed war between Jungkook’s assigned men and their men. The point was to send a memo that the Bangtan Boys were coming for them, and coming hard. 

Everynight for two weeks unimaginable signs were sent to their family. Ranging all the way from several gunshot bullets going through their home, to severed heads of previous betrayers of the bangtan boys, sitting right on their porch. By now, all the other gangs in Korea knew not to have any business with them. 

“ Day 2 I want it. I’m going for the mother. That scamming bitch and her precious flower shop? I’m shooting it up. Whoever lives, lives. Whoever dies, dies.” Jimin shrugs, smirking as he leans back in his spot.

“ Day 3, for me I’m sending another message. One of their men is gonna die in my god damn hands. I’ll be sure to take a selfie and send it to the father. The body will lay hanging on that pretty little oak tree in their yard.” Taehyung says. The boys are roar with shock that he’s said that. Normally he doesn’t like touching a dead body, so it’s a change for him.

The boys continue listing off the days and assigned tasks for the rest of the night into the wee early morning. Namjoon left after his, of course going straight to his girls apartment. They don’t judge him, seeing as though the boy really is in love and knows when and how to handle it. He definately doesn’t mix business and his love life together, unlike his other hyung.  Soon enough the banter and socializing ends and it’s time for Yoongi first. 

Night 1

It doesn’t take long for Yoongi to find the place. The empty steets of Seoul have soon faded into just dirt roads with the city left behind. The humming of his porsche echos through the night time air. Yoongi takes one final turn, making sure to pull into the place slowly like a true hunter keeping it’s eye on its prey. It’s not a full house tonight, even better. 

Taking the jug of gasoline out his car, he carries it with ease up to the empty warehouse. The wildlife outside don’t make a noise. As if they know who’s approaching and just shut right up. Forty degrees fahrenheit outside and lastnight’s snowfall piled all around.The darkness outside is haunting, anything could pop out at any second to kill the man. That doesn’t scare him at all. Darkness is always what he crave. Inside and out. 

“ Sir.. do you want us to go in with you?” 

Yoongi stops dead in his tracks. He’d almost forgotten about the back-up men Jungkook ordered for him. It’s not like he needed them anyways, but since Jungkook can’t be there with Yoongi, that was the next best choice. 

Rolling his eyes without turning around,“ No. Wait in your cars. I’ll handle it on my own.”

Just like that. The boys are off like lightening. Yoongi takes one final step towards the two double doors, and begins to pour the gasoline at it’s starting point. Usually, he’d go from the inside out, but seeing as though he wanted them to scurry out fearing for their lives, this is the next option as well. Soon enough, the enire jug is empty and he’s now poured all of it around the outside of the warehouse. Leaves crunch with every step he makes back to the starting point. Part of him hopes they can’t hear him from the outside. It’ll ruin the plans. 

The lighter in his pocket feels so smoothe against his palms as he reaches for it. It’s one of his signature ones with his initials on it. An andrenaline rush runs through his veins as flicks the ignition with his thumb. The flame all bright and orange as he stands there infront of the building. It’s going to be a damn good night.

Without hesitating, Yoongi runs his fingers through his hair and throws the lighter right onto the gasoline puddles. The way the whole ring of fire lights up infront of his eyes makes him laugh hysterically while watching the whole building go into flames. The loud crackling sounds of the now decomposing warehouse jumps him back into reality. 

He heads right towards the big tree next to the right of the warehouse, leaning on it with one foot up against it with his hands crossed. That sinister smile doesn’t leave his face. He enjoys the view of the men from the inside running out as fast as they can. Some falling in the ring of fire in the process. The fire is no match for any human as they try to stop drop and roll. Ha, as if that would work with a 15 foot fire consuming the warehouse. The dead bodies pile up on their own, just burning in the fire over their simple mistakes of falling and thinking they would survive the fire.

Until the golden egg comes out. He’s furious as runs out perfectly, as if he’s been through this, without managing to catch on fire. Yoongi chuckles, leaning off the tree. “ Kang Dong-Woo.”

Usually Yoongi would use the honorfics to people who were much older than him. In this case though, he doesn’t deserve honorifics. 

“ Min Yoongi.” He says, harshness laced within his voice. Dongwoo frowns when nearing the man. He knows what Yoongi is capable of, and that’s what sets his fight for flight into action.

“ Let’s get straight to it. Your daughter is after our leader. She seems to be doing the dirty work for you yeah? Did you not train her enough? Of course you know she wont be able to live after this right?”

Dongwoo laughs right into Yoongi’s face as if he was joking. It angers Yoongi, so he grabs Dongwoo by the shirt and drags the man over to the fire where he kicks the back of his legs to where he’s kneeling inches away from it. 

“ I don’t think this is a laughing matter, Dongwoo.” He growls, tightening his grip around Dongwoo’s arms that are behind his back. “ You want to die?”

“ She’s gonna fuck you all over.” He growls.” You may think she’s not capable of finishing off you guys one by one, but she is. I raised and trained her since a kid. She’s stronger with more energy than me. She’ll kill you all when you least expect it.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes at him.” The dumb bitch can’t even shoot right. Going for someone else knowing Jungkook would save them is an ameteur move. Should’ve went straight for his damn head.”

“ I’ll make sure she’ll bring you guys hell Min Yoongi. All of you. Tell that shit to Jungkook and his daddy for me alright?” He mocks, laughing again at the boy to taunt him.

Yoongi doesn’t care for it. He’s had enough of this foolish talk. With one swift move he kicks the man’s back making him fall down to the left side, away from the fire. He’s lost it. He’s totally lost it at this point and there is no going back. Kick after kick after kick, he doesn’t stop. No. Not until the Dongwoo is sure to cough up blood. The crimson liquid poors from his mouth as he lays there. No remorse is felt.

Besides, the bastard bitch needed to get the message. Consider it message recieved. 

Night 2

The flower shop is full, but not full to its entirety. There's tons of different bouquets and arrangements set around the pretty shop, from what he can see from the outside. It’s almost closing time, an hour left. Jimin’s fingertips grip on the steering wheel, anxious but patient to make his move. He’s running off of pure adrenaline and 2 cans of monster that are crushed and sitting in the passenger seat. Waiting isn’t his forte and he’d honestly like to get this show on the road now.

The moon is out and shining bright tonight. A sigh escapes his lips when he glances again at the shop. The only reason he’s not done it yet is due to the fact that there is a child and his mother inside. Rule number 2 of Bangtan, injure no child. The price to pay if you were to break the rule? Simply it would cost you your own damn life.

As if time would of went any slower for the boy, the child and his mother finally made their transaction and made it out of the store, heading across the street to continue their journey of shopping. It’s go time.

He knew to come prepared with his bulletproof vest and full face ski mask, long Sleeve black shirt to cover all the markings he has and also the two tattoos on each of his arms. He knew that the little lady wouldn’t be so dumb to not carry, or at-least have someone inside that would be her undercover security. Considering who her husband is, there’s no way she won’t be protected.

Oh how innocent the people look to not know what’s coming next. Jimin loads his Glock 19 with golden bullets that have Bangtan Boys initials and symbols on it just before pulling his mask down and getting out the car. He makes sure to signal his back-up men to create a distraction so he could make his entrance. Sure enough, a loud boom in the near distance of what sounds like some type of construction falling, echos loudly. It turns heads from all around to look where the sound came from, making it easy for Jimin to slide into the flower-shop.

Not a sound made by him. He draws his gun and pulls the safety off the trigger, then cocks it. Eyes are all on him as his eyes shift around the room looking for his target. There she is, eyes wide in the middle of a transaction for two middle aged couple. His eyes set into hers, lowly smiling and pointing it at her. The way everyone frantically screams and cries out doesn’t phase Jimin, no. It just encourages him even more as he starts firing shots mid air, shooting any and every person in sight for the hell of it. Bodies drop to the ground, and the bloodbath begins.

Jimin doesn’t hesitate to step over everybody, eyes still set on his target. The middle aged couple’s shrieks were cut short by their bodies dropping to the ground with three shots each to their hearts.

“ Park J-” He cuts her crying off with a finger to his lips, daring her to say his name in public. She gets the memo. “ I wouldn’t if I were you.”

The barrel is pressed against her temple as she trembles with fear. He cocks his head to the side, smiling at her when he taps the gun against her head harshly, repeatedly. “ You know why I’m here.”

“ You kill me and she will murder you all.”

Jimin chuckles, “ That’s what you guys think. We don’t have time for your gimmicks. It was you guys who stole money from us. Why did you think you’d still be protected from the law from us? Getting your daughter to go for the leader first is dumb, like the rest of you.”

“ We almost went to prison for you guys, remember that? We needed that cut money from you guys to pay off our legal fees. Thats why we stole. We completed your dirty work while trying to pay off the fees, its the least you guys could of did as a reward.”

“ That’s not how it would’ve worked. You fucked up. All of you.”

With two shots to the leg, she falls into Jimins arms. He rolls his eyes and throws his body off of him and onto the floor. It’s going to be a headache trying to explain to the dry cleaners why there is blood stains on his designer ripped jeans.

Night 3

It was too easy, way too easy. It took nothing to lure that man right into Taehyung’s trap. Nothing but a simple few slick comments made to him for him to get a riled up at the wrong person. Taehyung had spotted the man prior heading into the park with a small duffle bag. He assumed it was for a night trade off for some other person who had delivered drugs for him. Nontheless, it was merely too easy to pose as the alleged person who completed the mission. 

A rookie. That guy must’ve been a rookie. 

When the money was handed off to Taehyung, he tossed it to the side and struck the man down. The two did fight on the concrete floor for a bit but the man was no match for Taehyung’s quick moves. Taehyung’s pocket knife dances around the man’s throat as his body is pinned to the ground. 

“ Rookie mistake not verifying if I’m the real one.” He chuckles, pressing the blade against the mans neck. The man pleads for his life but it’s no use. Message must be sent, that it’s no way you’ll fuck around with Bangtan and escape.

“ You know, I would’ve trained you more than Dongwoo. Letting the weakest link go run an errand? Ha. Your boss set you up for that one.” 

Although the man is merely innocent, it doesn’t stop Taehyung from slicing into the man’s neck. A blood curdling scream comes out, but soon hushed over as his will of breathing and screaming is cut. It’s music to Tae’s ears. 

The body is transfered per request of Taehyung to his back-up men. It’s not like him to touch a bloody dead body. So they take him into the back of their car and follow Taehyung to the residential house of the shooter. Nothing more than 10 minutes away. 

The lights are cut off in the neighborhood. Not a sound made other than the two cars coming down the street. Everyone seems to be at peace and quiet in their homes. Sleeping to say the least. Upon arrival, Taehyung parks his car right infront of the house. The back-up men drag the bloody body out the car and onto their lawn, placing it right under the oak tree. 

Taehyung takes the rope be brought along with him, and begins to tie multiple knots around a sturdy branch from the tree. When done, he wraps some of the rope around the dead boy’s neck, tying it into a slipknot and hoists him up high into the air. 

The body dangles from the tree like a flag waving in the sky proud and high. He signals for the boys that the assignment is done and that they’re free to leave. Taehyung though, he just sits back in admiration of his work. It’s been a while sinice he felt this way. So he stands there soaking it all in. 

Message recieved. 

Since it’s been three entire days of hell, Jungkook knew his day will be approaching faster than ever. If only it could get here faster though. Truth is, Won-Shik isn’t too happy about Jungkook’s plan still not being complete. At this point, the father is going against him any chance he gets to just get this over with. 

Luckily, tonight he’d be able to meet with his father again with some good news. It hasn’t been brought to his attention yet about your father being in Taiwan. With the technology of Won-Shik’s men, your father could be brought here within 12 hours tops. 

“ Father.” Jungkook says, entering his office doors. The boy fixes his leather jacket upon entering and places his hands back into his pockets. “ I have news.”

Won-Shik is one to not play around with. Interupting his office time is a big, big deal. One is to not enter without it being urgency. That rule still applies to the heir of the company. “ It better be damn good because your plan isn’t getting anywhere Jeon Jungkook.”

Won-Shik takes his glasses off and sets them to the side on his desk. Its full of papers and photos of himself and Jungkook when he was a child. His favorite one right in the middle, where Jungkook had just ate some cherry flavored ice cream and his lips were all red as he smiled for the camera showing his two front teeth. It reminded him of when Jungkook was easier to manage rather as to now where he’s a damn menace.

“ Taiwan. Her father is in Taiwan. I don’t think it’s Taipei though.. he’s hiding so a city wouldn’t be ideal. I say search the mountains first, then the city.”

Bringing this proposal to the table meant that Jungkook wanted to atleast gain his father’s trust back. Hell, he wanted all this to be over with by now because you were driving him crazy to the point where he’s beginning to actually forget who the hell he was and why he was assigned this mission. The plan was not to fall, but to complete. He’d be lying if he wasn’t knee deep in love with you right now. It all comes down to him protecting you from his father at this point. 

“ So your little plan is suddenly working huh.. still doesn’t mean she gets to run free Jungkook.” He says, smirking at the boy to challange him. Jungkook knew that. Once it’s proven that your father is the snitch, all of the family dies.

You’re innocent. Too innocent to know that or to be even tangled in that mafia mess of his. Part of him wishes he never met you and never had been assigned this mission. Then everything would be so damn different and emotions wouldn’t be caught up in this. From the moment he met you, he knew it would be hard. You have always held a special part in his heart. Only because you acted just like his mother. Sweet, but sassy and it hurt him a lot on how you remind him of her. You even word your words just like her, even when upset. Everything about you, is just like her. 

It was hard to not get attached to wanting to get to know you more. Somehow he thought that if he got to know you, he’d somehow fill that hole inside him of his mother’s disappearance. As if you were going to be his new replica as you would be the one to put a band-aid on that hole to patch it up. 

Here you are, not knowing you could die any moment and it will all be thanks to Jeon Jungkook, who couldn’t save you fast enough. 

“ I know. But she’s innocent. She doesn’t even know her dad worked with us. I swear she doesn’t.”  Jungkook bites his lip in hopes that there could be someway to save you by the hands of your father.

 “ I dont care!” He roars, jumping out his seat. Jungkook flinches, backing up a bit from the sudden outburst. “ You know not to mix business and pleasure. You reap what you sew. You get to pay the consequences.”

Jungkook knew that though. 

“ Father-”

“ Nothing more. I’ll have my team start the search right now. You on the other hand, get you god-damn shit together Jungkook. You’re the heir, not a damn lover-boy. Got it?”

It is no use of arguing with him. Jungkook looks down at the ground and nods his head yes just before Won-Shik dismisses him. It’s going to hurt. Seeing you dead. He hopes for a miracle can happen, that your father will not be the snitch. That you and him could live happily ever after. There will no be any happily ever after about this situation though. One will die. Just a matter of who it will be. 

The vibrating sensation in his pocket snaps him out of his trance. An incoming call from Namjoon. It’s alarming since today is Namjoon’s day of hell, and only one thing could be happening right now if he’s calling for Jungkook. 

There’s been a mistake.

“ What is it Namjoon.” 

“ She fucking outsmarted me. The bitch caught on to where my location would be for the next kill. I don’t know where the fuck she is Jungkook.. this is bad.”

Jungkook sighs heavily, closing his eyes while letting out strings of curses come from his mouth. Shit couldn’t get possibly worse than this right now. Namjoon said he’d wanted to go straight for the killer and bust her up a bit. Give her some words and a branding on her. He had wanted to do it with a knife, carving the initals of Bangtan Boys into her upper hip. Namjoon had zero problem tracking her next location down, as he had been keeping an eye on her all day. To him, it seemed as if she would be heading to an orchestra shop in the city. Every step she took, Namjoon took it too. 

Until she rounded the corner to go inside the shop and she wasn’t there. There wasn’t any outlet. The shop was on a dead end street surrounded by other shops that they both had passed. There was no way she didn’t go back, he would of saw it. He saw her go into the store, so she had to be there right?

Wrong. You see she knew all this time that Namjoon was followering her while in disguise. The orchestra shop where she led him to, she knew the owner. They were good friends. She had spoken to him asking if that she could use his upstairs office to read over some of the newest edition of music pieces for her to practice. He obliged, and she made up there in time before Namjoon came inside.

Up there, she’d be lying if she wasn’t scared to death. All this week the boys had definately given her hell. Each day with zero remorse. It was taking a toll on her for sure. Taking up this assignment by herself wasn’t something easy but she wanted to prove to him that she can be just like him. That she wanted to work with him too to take down Bangtan for decieving them and leaving them in the dust. 

She can’t do it. The boys are to expierenced for her. It’s a bad mistake that she cannot come back from. You see, she thought it would be easy to befriend you and become close to you after you’d laid eyes upon Jungkook your first day here. She knew you’d soon fall for him, like any other girl did, and that would be her easy acess to him from you. It was all planned beforehand. To be quiet and observe you and your moves with him. In her mind, Jungkook needed to die first. The boys can’t function all that well without him, so that would be the weak spot to take advantage of if he would’ve died when she knew he’d take the bullet for you. She coudn’t shoot him first, it’d be too straightforward and blunt. 

It was going all well. Deep in the inside she was jealous of you as well. Sungmin had been her crush for years, they even almost dated. Until you came along and he left her in the dust for you. Sungmin is everything she wanted in a boy, but you took that away from her. Her chances to date him ruined by you. It hurt everyday to see him head over heels in love with you, when that was just her at one point before you came along. Not only that, but she seen the way you play with Sungmin’s emotions. It made her upset that you do that. Sungmin’s love is a drug, whether it be friendship love or romantic, nobody can get enough of it. 

All this stressed her out to her max. Her family being hurt because of her, her mom unable to walk for the next few weeks is all because of her. Only cause she cannot complete this task she brought onto herself. As if being in danger because of Won-Shik and Bangtan wasn’t enough beforehand, she just made things worse all in all. There is no way out of this for her and her family. So it’s time to just accept it and say goodbye to it all and start a new life. 

“ I’ll find her. You wait at the base and I’ll report back to you guys after I find her. When I do, you will come and finish your damn task Namjoon. Do you hear me?” Jungkook’s beyond pissed at this point. If it wasn’t for him, the boys would be lost as fuck without him.

He shoots Casper a text, letting him know that he is to follow him closely as he searches for her. To his luck, Casper was already outside his apartment building in his car. Not long after he pops those contacts in and changes his outfit again, he’s cruising the streets of Seoul in his midnight purple lamborghini. 

The pain in his shoulder throbs with each turn he has to make with the wheel of his car. A little pain medicine would of helped beforehand, but rushing to get this shit over with was more important. This bitch definately has it coming. It’s been taking Jungkook these past few days to not just up and kill her. No that would just be too easy. Torture and marinating her to lose her shit at the last minute is something so satisfying to him. 

The streets of Seoul soon end behind him and the Mappo Bridge comes into view. It had been an a whole hour searching around the areas of where she could’ve been, including where she was last seen. No sights of her at all. She’s good at this for sure. Text messages are sent back and forth between the boys and Jungkook. They’re all on edge, tired, and frustrated at this chasing game that they’re all playing.

He’d almost missed it. The body walking alongside the side-walk of the bridge with their head hanging low and hoodie on. It’s the hoodie of his school, but most importantly it has their class graduation year on it. It has to be her. Jungkook flashes his hazard lights on, letting Casper know to pull over with him. 

It’s now or never.

After sending the text to Namjoon, he’s out the car and jogging towards the suspect. Height, body type, and shoes match the alleged identity. It seems she’s too into something to notice the extra footsteps behind her. He can’t do anything to her though, it’s not his night. 

“ Kang Minlee.”

She stops dead in her tracks as if a ghost had called her name. Frozen, she stands there contemplating on running or staying. If she runs, she’s dead. If she stays, shes dead. 

“ You think..” He pauses, grabbing her arm and turning her around to face him. Her face is red from crying and her glasses all fogged up from underneath her mask. For a split second, Jungkook does feel regret. 

Killing a classmate of his wasn’t something he’d ideally let happen. But it’s far too late to not have her killed off. “ You think that running away is the best option?”

Minlee trembles underneath his grip, “ I made a mistake. Please just let me go. Let me and my family go and we’ll leave you alone forever.” She breaks down into tears, placing her hand over his in attempt to let her go. 

It didn’t hurt Jungkook to see her like this. All in all it just feels weird to him. Weird to have one of his classmates begging for her life to be spared from the gruesome events to come. 

“ You know I can’t do that.” It honestly can’t be an option at this point. It’d be better to just continue out her days of hell with her family. “ You came for me, that means you die.”

Finally she jerks her arm back from his still in tears as she starts to back away slowly. Jungkook knew that she wouldn’t run. Not in this case. Letting her cry it out was the best way, hell it’s the only way because Namjoon would be here any minute to brand her. It would mean she belonged to Bangtan after that, and she’d have to keep quiet as they planned out her death.

Her sudden movement from the ground to climbing up the railing of the bridge alarms Jungkook. She cries louder when Jungkook comes closer to getting her down so he stops. Suicide? Right now? What happened to being all big and bold? It confuses Jungkook as to why she would take her own life right now. Either way she’d still end up dead and unhappy if Bangtan would kill her or she’d kill herself. 

“ Jungkook!” She semi-yells, pointing to the direction behind him as another guy approaches them. Just in time, the sound of Namjoon’s car can be heard from afar. He’s getting close.

The guy she’s pointed to is Casper, who’s also alarmed at the fact that she’s close to the edge right now. Jungkook holds his hand up at Casper for him to stop right there and shakes his head, meaning that it’s too risky for Casper to step in right now. Casper nods and Jungkooks turns back to the scene. 

“ Don’t you think that I’ve suffered enough? Everyday you guys give me hell. My mom can’t walk because of you guys, and my dad has health issues. You left us in the dust when we needed your support the most! I was almost put up for adoption a year ago because of you!” She sobs, wiping her never ending tears with her hoodie sleeves. 

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say, or do. It’s not like him to have sympathy over a rival. It’s just not in him at this very moment. 

Minlee continues on, “ Yn? She took what’s mine. My Sungmin. She plays with his heart and it hurts him a lot. I wouldn’t have did that. But no, he’s head over heels in love with him. I got left in the dust when she came along and it looks like everyone loves her, including you Jungkook. My friendgroup does anything and everything she wants because she’s just oh so little miss perfect. That was supposed to be me!”

There it is. The jealousy. Jungkook would have never known it. It’s all news and shock to him. Sungmin and Minlee? Didn’t seem like a match to begin with. 

Her dramatic meltdown continues on, but Jungkook allows it. Namjoon will be here any minute to sneakily get her down. Where is he and why the hell is he taking so long?

As if on cue, Namjoon pulls up to the scene and immediately gets out his car running towards the girl. Jungkook waves his hands for him to stop, eyes wide with a finger to his lips. The last thing he wanted was for the girl to jump. A death from their school? Surely was to be put on him and his boys. 

Namjoon stops infront of Jungkook’s car, confused as to what’s going on. Jungkook mouthes to him the words suicide attempt. That’s when Namjoon gets it and decides to let him handle getting her down. 

“ Yeah it was meant to be you. But I plan to take Yn away anyways. Then you and Sungmin could come together again.” Jungkook’s convincing isn’t convincing enough, she doesn’t buy it at all.

“ If I get down I’m going to die. There is no escaping that within the next few days i’d be dead in your hands. I made a mistake and there is no going back. Spare my parents. Let them live. I’m the one that started this. I’ll be the one to finish it.”

The girl lifts one foot off the railing and leans backwards. Jungkook’s breath hitches along with Namjoons. No. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. 

“ Kang Minlee!” They both scream, running towards her. It’s too late though. Her body falls gracefully down as all three of them watch over the railing. She looks peaceful, a smile on her face while her body is sprawled out in the air.

Inches before she hits the water, the three of the boys look away with only the sound of dense water splashing to fill their ears. Namjoon sighs, putting his hands against his head. Jungkook stands there in complete shock. Casper, well Casper just shakes his head knowing the two boys weren’t prepared for that.

“ We fucked up Jungkook.”

“ I fucking know that Namjoon.” His voice cracks. It isn’t like Jungkook to cry. No not at all. Especially for a target like that. At the end of the day she was human and she did what any daughter would do for her family.

 She was also your friend.

You hadn’t heard about her death yet the next day. It’s a normal saturday morning for you. This time you’d decided to go to the cafe with your laptop and write your essay for your Psychology class. The cafe is nice, it’s cat themed and has some pretty kittens running around the outside of the kitchen and customer service area. 

As soon as you order and sit down with your Caramel frappe you spot a white kitten laying near you on the floor. A smile comes upon your face when it comes to you when you call for it. They don’t have these in Canada. Cat Cafes. The kitten lets out his purrs when you rub his back as he lays across your lap. The nametag says Mochi, a cute name for a cute kitten. 

Minutes seem to pass by without your knowledge. You’d been too into typing to hear the news on the tv being broadcasted live. It wasn’t until you heard suicide of a teenage student on Mappo Bridge. That got your attention.

You listen carefully as the news reporter goes into detail of how the body was found. It had gotten caught on a rock as the stream moved it around. A mother had found it with her kid as they walked across the bridge that early morning to look at beautiful water. It saddens you to know someone took their life. Maybe if that person had access to getting help, they’d live to see many more days. 

When they announce the name and show a school picture of the student, the look on your face drops. 

Minlee. It’s Minlee on the screen. Its all too much for you right now. Your stomach twists and turns along with your hands that begin fidgeting. She seemed so healthy and happy these past few days when you saw her. It didn’t add up. It wasn’t going to ever add up to you that you had just lost one of your new friends.

Packing your things up in a hurry, your phone begins to go off with a bunch of text messages at a time. You know it could be the groupchat. What you wanted to the most right now, is to go home to cry and calm down. You shove everything in your backpack and place the kitten back on the floor nicely before taking off towards the door. You bump into somebody on the way out, causing them to drop a picture in their hand. The two of you both reach to pick it up, but they pick it up first before you.

“ I’m sorr-”

You’ve seen her before. Long curled hair, big dimple on her left cheek, and bangs. 

There’s no fucking way. 

#desperado #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook oneshot #mafia!bts #mafia!jungkok #mafia bts #mafia jungkook #badboy jungkook #bad boy jungkook #badboy!jungkook #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop mafia #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #kpop reaction #bts reaction #bts oneshot #bts scenario #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #kim namjoon #kim seokjin

[cum-villain]

its 4 am and im powered by pure "omg this guy has my mental illness" energy so. Time for you fuckers to learn how Dimitri actually has bpd.

Just like in my bpd adam essay, the list of symptoms is pulled from here. If this post intrigues you I highly encourage you to do your own research! The link above is a good place to start, and I'd be happy to explain anything you don't understand.

In order to have Borderline Personality Disorder, you only need 5 out of 9 possible symptoms.

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

~I don't think he displays this symptom, however I would not be surprised if he did.

Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

~During the first part of Azure Moon he goes from caring about his friends to being deeply suspicious about their loyalties at the drop of a dime. His shift from caring deeply about his step-sister to wanting to kill her himself also shows this. This could instead be suspicion/disconnect from reality, but many symptoms influence each other, so it's worth mentioning.

Unclear or shifting self-image. When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

~He's the one to get revenge for his family, a hero. He's a horrible monster who kills without thinking. He's a good person who knows killing is wrong. He's a bad person who didn't deserve to be the sole survivor. Who is he? He doesn't know.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

~He is willing to kill Edelgard at all costs, even his own life, as long as he gets to watch her bleed out first. He charges ahead without any concern for himself.

Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.

~When Randolph's sister (I cannot remember her name) is about to stab him, he see he's almost smiling. He's accepting his fate. When the head of house Fraldarius takes the knife for him, he's shocked. This is likely related to his view of himself as a monster, but still worth mentioning.

Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

~He goes from caring about his stepsister to the point people who don't know think he has a crush on her, then wanting to have her decapitated head displayed in the Empire capital. Normal and talking about how people who kill without feeling make him sick to wanting a gruesome death for the perpetrators of the Remire Calamity. Granted, these mood shifts are directly related to him being triggered about the Tragedy of Duscur, so it's likely not a symptom, but it's a possibility.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

~This one is only a possibility, but it makes so much sense too. After the Tragedy of Duscur, he misses his family so much its like he loses himself, all he feels is the loss for years.

Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.

~Ohhh if Azure Moon doesn't show this over and over.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body.

~The ENTIRE thing about ghosts clearly shows he has a poor relationship with reality. Additionally, in the first part of Azure Moon he becomes easily suspicious of anyone who suggests not killing Edelgard when possible (even though the chances would be so low it was more like impossible).

He shows at least 5 symptoms, and very possibly 8. Thus, he's extremely likely to have Borderline.

Other observations

I would go so far as to say that BPD had been developing in him since the Tragedy of Duscur. It's very common for people with pre-bpd who don't get a support system (either through circumstances or their own refusal to accept help) to mask and mask until they end up with the fully fledged disorder. I'd say the scene "Loathing" is when I can most strongly pinpoint when he really has the full disorder.

I'd like to say that this is NOT saying that people with Borderline are all violent or dangerous. That is extremely untrue. However, it is a disorder that causes rage and disconnect, so if the person doesn't properly rein themselves in, or sees no reason to, violent oubursts do happen.

Additionally, BPD can cause psychosis. With Dimitri's delusions that the ghosts want him to avenge them, he certainly does experience this. However, it's critical to know the roots of this belief. He's not angry because he's psychotic, he's psychotic because he's angry, and it only feeds that anger.

#braincell posting #braincell essay #bpd dimitri fe3h #fe3h #dimitri fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #borderline dimitri fe3h #fe3h meta #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #anyways its 5 am so take this

[eclectickss]

PGATW Part 3

Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff x OC (fem!reader)

Summary: The avengers take a vacation to a private island rental off of the Georgia coast! You now have an opportunity to spend time with your new family, especially Wanda and Natasha.

Word Count: 2.5K

Check out my main post for links to the rest of the parts. Two parts in one day cause why not.

Fifteen minutes past the hour mark, everyone was finally in the common area. You had your large, musty green duffle bag and your dinosaur backpack ready to go at your feet, as well as your apple juice and chocolate croissant in hand. Natasha and Wanda rolled their eyes at you when they walked in and saw your breakfast choices, but you just laughed.

They both shared one big black duffle bag, as well as their own backpacks. Nat had black jean shorts and a tight red top, while Wanda had on black sweats and a white sweatshirt. You had on black cargo pants with a black spaghetti strap top so that your dino pack didn't clash with your outfit. That was very important to you.

While you were focused on your croissant, Wanda leans down over you behind the couch. "You were looking really hot until I noticed that kids pack you have there, Talia."

You turned to her, offended that she criticized your friend. "His name is Pablo, Wanda."

"No, don't worry," she smiled and returned to whisper next to your ear. "It's just cute now." You grumbled in response, even though you liked the endearment. You turn to offer a bad comeback to the Sokovian, but Tony beats you to any talking.

"Alright, Avengers. I guess you might like to know where this island is, but seeing as we're 15 minutes late, I don't care. There's a bus in the garage to take us to the upstate campus to get our flight out of here. Get there." Everyone was slightly surprised to see how organized Tony was, but nonetheless they all headed to the elevator. "Suitcases under the bus unless they're carry ons! And no teleporting, Talia!"

Without a second thought, you turned immediately to Peter.

"BUS BUDDIES!" The two of you ran to hug before a voice stopped you.

"Actually, I was hoping I could sit with Peter," Natasha said as the large group waited for the even larger elevator, most people not really paying attention to the conversation. You looked at Natasha and Wanda who both acted like everything was normal, and then at Peter who clearly had no idea what was going on.

"Uh... ok?" You were confused, but Nat looked rather confident in herself, so you didn't fight it.

"Just for the bus ride, Talia." She added, everyone now stepping into the elevator. "You can have him back after. I just wanna get to know him a bit since we didn't spend too much time together during the SRP." She smiled.

"No- yeah that's totally cool. "I guess that leaves me with Wanda, then?" You looked at the Sokovian.

"I would love to sit with you, Talia." Your cheeks tinged at the accent again as you returned a warm look to the Avenger.

—

Finally, after enough struggle, the bus was pulling out of the tower garage and onto the open streets of the city. You requested a window seat, which Wanda happily gave, but Peter and Natasha were too far in the back for you two to converse with.

"Why did Nat want to sit with Peter so bad?" You begin.

"To be honest with you Talia, I actually suggested that Natasha sit with Peter. I think it would be better for the details to be re-told through him, though. Sorry if you don't like secrets, and I can tell you now, I just think there is a better way to approach the topic, and that is through him." She sighed, and you tried your best to understand.

"Alright I guess. I mean I trust you... so I will leave it at that. The drive isn't that bad anyways."

"I admire the way you think, Talia." The accent makes your toes curl again, and the Sokovian pauses. "You like it when I say your name, don't you?" You turn to meet eyes, face red. "Talia?" Your stomach turns and all you can do is hum in response. "Admit that you like it."

"Shut up."

"Ok." Wanda closes her mouth and faces the front of the bus.

"Wait- no- i didn't mean stop talking..."

She raises an eyebrow.

"I just- i meant stop teasing me."

Wanda laughed. "There's nothing wrong with liking my accent, Talia. It's cute." You smile.

"Thanks... I think." You blush.

"Alright so..." She starts a new conversation. "Tell me about yourself." This catches you off guard.

"Huh?" You scrunch up your face and Wanda laughs.

"C'mon, Talia! Tell me about yourself! I already know that you love dinosaurs and that you think black coffee drinkers are alien... and I know that you are bold, yet shy when it comes to those you care about. I can't confidently say anything else, so tell me about yourself." She makes eye contact with you and you both blush.

The prompt makes you think.

"Well, I'll start by touching up on a few of those. I do love dinosaurs, but I don't think that black coffee drinkers are alien. I know that they are alien." Wanda rolls her eyes. "And I'm shy because feelings aren't my forte. Im scared to lose people, but once I open up to them and I know they're gonna stick around... all hell breaks loose." The Sokovian laughs, and you begin to treasure that sound.

"Alright, so what else." She gave all of her attention to you.

You short-circuited, so you started listing random things.

"Well my favorite color is black, but secretly it's pink. I love a good sunset, but I like sun rises more cause not as many people see them, and it feels more intimate. Besides sunrises, I normally don't wake up too early, but more when my body wakes up. I hate sleeping in past 10:00 though, cause by then, you've already wasted a half of a day, unless you're spending that morning with someone else. I really like-"

"Are you saying you would want to sleep in with Nat and me?" She smirked.

All you can respond with is a grin before slowly returning to the conversation.

"I love big hugs and back scratches, and I like it when people play with my hair. I do value my personal space, though, so my alone time is important." Wanda nodded, happy to be learning so much about you. You slowed down your thoughts even more. "I-" You paused. "And the most important values that I seek in people, including myself, are honesty and empathy." You locked eyes with Wanda. "Above everything." She slowly reached to tuck a lose piece of hair behind your ear.

"Is that all you want to share?" She nearly whispered, stealing a glance or two at your lips.

"For now..." you replied at the same volume before glancing around the bus to see if anyone was paying attention to you. When you decided that you were in the clear, you sat back down in your seat and pulled Wanda over to you to give her a slow, soft kiss. The two of you felt like kids again, hiding from the adults as you made out in the seats of the bus.

Meanwhile, in the back of the vehicle, Natasha finally started talking to Peter.

"So Peter," She started, a small smirk on her face. Everyone who was someone could tell how nervous he was to have Natasha Romanoff happily sitting next to him. He gulped as he awkwardly closed the laptop and turned to face the assassin.

"Yeah, Nat? What-What's up?" He tried to sneak a glance at you, but since both of you had window seats, he couldn't see.

"I wanted to talk to you about Talia."

"Uhm, ok... yeah what about?"

"Well, I'm sure she told you already about Wanda and me." He nodded, so Nat continued. "I know you two are very close, and I am genuinely happy for you... both Wanda and I. I'm happy that you have a friend on this team finally." She paused and he nodded. "But we were hoping that we could steal Talia for the vacation. Or at least spend some time with her. It's just hard since i'm on missions so often and Wanda is constantly training and busy running the SRP, so these next two weeks are a rare opportunity for the two of us, and we both really want to spend that time getting to know Talia before our lives get crazy again." She finished, honestly a little nervous to be asking Peter for permission. There wasn't much of a break in the conversation, though.

"Actually... yeah. That's..... kind of what I hoped would happen."

Natasha tilted her head in question.

"Mr. Stark already talked to me about it."

The assassin's eyes widened.

"No! Not- not about the relationship. About the two weeks. Uhh... he actually told me that he wanted to spend the time with me to teach me some stuff." He thinned his lips.

"Oh... ok. What about Pepper?"

"She's excited for some alone time, supposedly."

"Ok, then... that works out perfectly." Nat, a little surprised that the conversation went so well, sat back in her seat to face the front. Only a few minutes went by before Peter spoke again, though.

"I didn't know Wanda ran the SRP."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, happy to be getting closer to Peter. She wanted to be a part of your life and accepted into it as much as possible. "Yeah. She and Pietro started it after Ultron. They felt it was their duty to help whoever they put in harm's way. They're a non-profit that get donations from global organizations including SHIELD to aid in the re-stabilization of Sokovia and many other places that we fucked up." Her voice nearly cut off at the end as her throat thickened a little, but she held it together.

"That's awesome, Natasha."

"Yeah, it is, right? Wanda is incredibly selfless and caring, and she amazes me every day."

"She's lucky to have you and Talia."

That caught Nat completely off guard. "Thank you, Peter. I mean it." He smiled, but took a deep breath before asking another question.

"Hey, Nat,"

"Yeah Peter?"

"Do you think Wanda would mind if I interviewed her for a school project? My leadership class at the university is going to have a big non-profit study when we return to school in the fall and we're supposed to find a non-profit to create a fundraising event for, and I think it would be really cool if I could do it for the SRP. The goal is to build leadership skills through organizing and meeting people to talk to, and I think I would like to work with her."

Nat thought it over for a moment.

"Peter,"

"Yeah Nat?"

"I think she would love that."

"Really! Awesome." He smiled, wanting to hug the redhead, but not knowing if they were that close yet.

"In fact, I think you should go ask her right now."

"Oh... now?"

"No time like the present, Peter."

"Uh... ok. You're right." He hopped over Natasha and into the isle of the motor coach. "Could you hand me my computer?" Natasha smiled as she reached into his bag.

"Tell Talia to get her cute ass back here."

He blushed with slight embarrassment. "...right." Natasha watched as he walked towards the front of the bus with ease, stopping at one of the seats near the end of the isle.

"Hey, Talia," You had your head rested on Wanda's shoulder when you heard Peter behind you. Sitting up, you see he has his computer with him, leaving you confused.

"What's up, Web Kid?" You rubbed your eyes, the Sokovian looking just as confused as you were.

"I was wondering if you could switch with me for a bit. I actually wanted to talk to Wanda about something." Now you we're definitely confused.

"I don't know anything about this, I promise." Wanda turned to you.

"Uhh... sure..." You hopped over her legs. "Have at it, I guess." With many questions remaining, you grabbed your dino pack and headed to the back.

"Hey Natasha." You smiled as you swung over into Peter's old seat. "So why did Peter kick me out? Not that I'm unhappy to be here, I'm just confused. It's not about that thing that Wanda wouldn't tell me about, right?" Natasha giggled.

"No, Peter actually wanted to ask Wanda if he could work with her for his leadership class at the university."

"Oh, his big project! He was so worried about finding a non-profit, and I totally forgot that Wanda co-headed the operation! I think they're actually going to get along really well, Nat. I'm excited to hear about it later. And you should come to the fundraising event whenever it happens! I know he would love to see you there."

"Ok..." Natasha stares at you sweetly.

"What?" You jokingly punch her arm. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing... it's just... you care a lot. Seeing other people happy makes you happy, and you're passionate for the ones you love. You have a good heart, Talia."

You stare at her, not knowing how to respond to her words.

"So," Natasha fills the silence again. "What did you and Wanda talk about over there?"

Without even coming up with an answer to her question, you pulled her into a rough kiss before the conversation could change. Natasha seem surprised at first, but eased up shortly after. You softened up too, kissing her slowly once before pulling away.

"What was that for?" She blushed, looking down into her lap.

"What you said... it was kind. Thank you."

"Yeah well don't get used to it. I'm not normally that mushy."

"No, I bet you are." You giggled and poked her side. "No, I bet you like it, too. I bet you like being called cute and I bet the pet name 'baby' makes you weak." Natasha glares at you, cheeks red. She hasn't told you to stop yet though, so you decide to take it up a notch, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "I bet you like being topped and willingly giving the lead over to someone else for a change... that you like not being the one in charge for once." She shivered, and you smirked. Slowly, though, Natasha turned her own head to put her lips up to your own ear.

"Well I bet you like it when i'm in charge, Talia. I bet you like being called 'good girl' and I bet you dream about taking orders from me and Wanda. Kiss me, Talia. Touch me. Run your fingers through my cunt, Talia. Fuck me, Talia." Your entire soul shut down, not knowing how to respond to that. Your eyes somehow meet, and your face burns. She was right... I did like that.

"It seems I've forgotten already," she continues, returning to a normal volume, "but what was it you said you talked about with Wanda?"

Thank the gods the drive was almost over.

#natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #wanda x oc #wanda x reader #natasha x oc #natasha x reader #wanda x natasha x reader #natasha x wanda x reader #gxgxg smut #marvel gxgxg #gxgxg

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Tenzin's eldest daughter and dating Bolin which Tenzin isn't very pleased with. So Tenzin makes it his mission to keep you and Bolin apart which just means the two of you find sneakier ways to be together.

Part Two here

Tenzin got back to his house and for once it was quiet, confused where the small army he shared his house with was he approached his second eldest daughter Jinora. "Where's korra?" Tenzin asked. "With Asami". "And Ikki and Meelo?". "With uncle Boomi". “And your mother?”. “Out with Aunt Kya”. Tenzin smiled everyone was taken care of and he could finally relax. "And y/n and Bolin?" Tenzin asked relaxing into his chair. "They'e in y/n's room" Jinora shrugged and Tenzin jumped up "with the door closed? Y/n" he bellowed pushing the door open with air bending. "Okay okay im sorry" he heard you yell and Tenzin sighed having your boyfriend stay here was making him age faster.

You and Bolin were in your room relaxing on the bed preparing to watch a movie. For once you didn’t have to babysit your younger siblings or train so had rushed off for some privacy with Bolin and your dad almost kicked the door down. Your dad was insanely worried about leaving you and Bolin alone despite the fact you were dating and Bolin was the sweetest guy in the world. Bolin had been trying to show you the mover he was in for week but you never had a spare moment where you could be alone with him. So when your dad had gone out and left you and Bolin with no task it seemed like the perfect time. You were determined your dad wouldn’t stop another one of your dates but of course he managed to. When your door flew open you sighed and called back you’d leave it open as per your dad’s many rules about you and Bolin. You looked to Bolin worried this would ruin the date but Bolin didn’t seem to mind. The movie started and you moved closer to Bolin to lean against him and he accomodated you hugging you against him. You and Bolin were just getting into the movie, despite the noise your family was making throughout the house when your father knocked on the open door and walked in. "Y/n its getting late, i think you and Bolin should get ready to go to sleep soon so he should go do that in his room soon". You nodded at your dad in reply so engrossed in the film you didn’t realise he hadn’t left. Tenzin coughed and you both looked up to see he didn't look impressed. "Ow you mean now?" Bolin asked and Tenzin nodded "well yes i think that'd be best". You blushed as Tenzin stood waiting glaring at Bolin. Bolin jumped up obediently while you pouted annoyed. Bolin paused the film and gathered his things and smiled "we can finish the movie tomorrow". You nodded "i suppose" and Bolin went to step towards you when Tenzin actually growled. A literal noise escaped his throat at Bolin daring to step closer to you. You sighed but Bolin just smirked and left shooting you a smile. Tenzin watched him go staring into his back and then turned to your door and fixed two bells around the door handle. "Dad!" You cried "what is that?". "Nothing just a decoration...". "You're doing it so you’ll know if i leave my room! Do you not trust me?". "I trust you y/n but i do not trust teenage boys! And i have to do my duty as your father! Having your boyfriend under the same roof..i have to take precautions". "But you didn't do this for Mako and Korra!". "Yes well Korra is older than you and Mako is more responsible than Bolin". You groaned and Tenzin coughed "you weren’t going to break the rules so this shouldn’t be an issue for you". You rolled your eyes "fine whatever...can i go to sleep now?". Tenzin nodded "i am only doing it because i love you y/n, if you have children you’ll understand". You huffed and Tenzin frowned "well goodnight y/n". "Goodnight dad" you said exasperatedly as the door closed but you didn’t plan on sleeping. Your dad hadn’t put bells on your window so as soon as you heard him go to bed you got ready. You gathered what you needed and climbed out of your window before airbending onto the roof. You carefully climbed across the roof to Bolin’s room and landed outside his window. You knocked on Bolin’s window film projector in hand and saw the curtains swing aside as Bolin realised it was you. "Y/n" Bolin grinned hanging out of his window "what are you doing here?". "Well we didn't get to finish the movie because of my dad so i figured we could now without him knowing?". Bolin hesitated for two seconds before grinning "yes come on it!". It had only been lightly raining but Bolin still wrapped a blanket around you before bringing you back to your prefered spot on the bed. He bustled around getting the movie ready and the secret snacks Tenzin didnt know about before jumping down next to you.

The film finished and Bolin looked at you anxiously "so what did you think...i wasn't sure if it was too far fetched and could you tell i couldn’t do my stunts properly and i didn’t look that great in that scene with the royal guards...". "Bolin" you said grabbing his shoulders "it was great! You were great in it, your stunts were amazing, your acting was really good and you looked well..." you trailed off blushing "basically it was amazing and i really enjoyed it!". "Really?" Bolin asked and you nodded. Bolin seized you in a hug and it made you blush he valued your opinion so much. "Im so glad you like it" he smiled putting you back down "your opinion means a lot to me" he blushed and you smiled. "Yours too Bolin" you told him "you're one of the most important people to me". Bolin's blush grew and he looked down his eyes slightly glazed. Bolin smiled and took your hand "you're pretty important to me too y/n" and kissed you softly. Bolin was always so caring and affectionate he just always made you feel loved and safe. He never pressured or rushed you, he was the best man you'd ever met. You broke away blushing and smiled at him before sighing "i should probably go". Bolin frowned "are you sure i mean it's not even that late...plus it's raining really heavily outside you could get a cold or get blown off the roof! Or lost". "Lost? My rooms practically across from yours!" you smirked but Bolin shrugged "i still don’t think you should risk it". You smirked "so what i stay here until the rain stops...that could be all night". Bolin shrugged "i just think it’d be safer it probably won’t be all night" he argued but his tone told you he hoped it would be. You smirked and nodded "fine..i guess i can stay for a bit longer and see if it stops". Bolin grinned "that's a very good decision y/n i must say". "Stop it" you pushed him before blushing as he grabbed your hand. You smiled and leant into him "i might nap while im here for a bit, if that's okay?". Bolin nodded "of course" and gathered even more blankets to keep you warm. You smiled getting into the blankets and Bolin got in beside you. With a bolt of lightning the rain came down ever harder. You noticed and Bolin pretended to look away. "i didn’t do anything!" he said when he felt you looking at him. "Mh hmmm?" You asked laying beside him but you were smiling. "Promise" Bolin smiled putting an arm around you. Bolin was so broad you fitted against him easily and curled up against his side. Bolin wrapped his large arm around you and you felt do safe and warm with the rain pounding against the window. "Goodnight y/n" Bolin smiled kissing your forehead and you smiled closing your eyes. "Goodnight Bolin".

You vaguely heard voices and groaned trying to sunk further into the warmth and Bolin. You buried your head against his chest and fell back to sleep when suddenly Bolin’s door was thrown open. "Y/n" Tenzin screetched and you and Bolin jolted awake. Bolin let out a yelp as Tenzin stared his eyes bulging. "You didn’t put bells on my windows?" you offered and your father turned even more red. "I’ll be putting bars on your window young lady if you dont stay in your assigned room!" He yelled and to your dismay others flocked to the room. "Did you find her?" Asami asked before smirking "ow...i see". "She's in here?" Mako asked "but thats Bolins room" before trailing off as Korra stumbled in too. "Well you did want Y/N to help rebuild the air nation" Korra smirked before she halted as Tenzin spun on her making the avatar gulp. "Is there something funny about my little girl growing up?" Tenzin yelled at them "no? Didn’t think so! Y/n get out of there right now and march yourself to your room this instance". You distangled yourself from Bolin and all the blankets and stood up red faced. "Sir it wasnt y/ns fault..." Bolin tried but Tenzin silenced him with a look. "You are grounded young lady and if i ever find you in his room again i'll...i'll take away your bison!". "Dad...." you groaned but he shook his head "no buts now to your room". You rolled your eyes but did as he said.

Later you sat in your room avoiding your dad's wrath when you heard someone near your window and opened your suprisingly still unlocked window to see Pabu. "Pabu?" You asked as he scampered in and dropped something on your bed. You grinned to see it was a note from Bolin with a wild flower attached "so guess you're our go between huh Pabu" You asked the fire ferret as you fed him a treat as payment. Pabu made a happy noise and you smiled before turning to Bolin’s note. "Sorry i got you in trouble but it was worth it" he wrote "think your dads gonna have us under surveillance for a while but i'm sure we can work around it. I'm game if you are and next time we wont get caught. Love Bolin". You smiled hiding your note and wrote a quick reply before handing it to Pabu who ran off to give it Bolin. You picked up the flower Pabu had also brought and smirked, you had the best boyfriend ever. Father be damned you’d find a way to see him.

#Bolin #lok bolin #bolin x reader #avatar bolin #bolin imagine #legend of korra bolin #legend of korra #tenzin #lok tenzin #air nation #lok mako #lok korra #lok asami #lok imagine #legend of korra imagine #avatar korra #avatar mako #avatar asami

[binunus]

college bf!jinjin

a/n yes yes yes 100x yes, here's the next installment of the college bf!astro series hehe, hope you enjoy it love 😙

{request: Would it be possible to get a college boyfriend Jinjin too?? I super loved the Bin one you did!!!! Thank you in advance 💜}

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 3k

_________________________________________

alright theydies

jinwoo–like everyone else in astro–makes me hella hard and soft at the same time so this is gonna be fun

major: music engineer technology

i saw that one ddoca where he was directing all the members for his song and just !!! grr bark bark

literally a fucking sweetie

one of the kindest people you will ever meet in your life

his face is so gentle, especially when he smiles

and then you hear his voice and you're like woah why is it so deep and raspy hey

and then he laughs or giggles and you're like ahh that looks more like you hehe

roommates with university famous dancer!rocky bc i love rap line

such a good roommate and hyung omg

will always make sure rocky eats dinner or takes a shower before going to bed even though he’s exhausted from dance practice or whatever

always shows off how talented rocky (and the rest of the boys) is

very chill

which is a bit of a surprise to everyone bc one of his best friends is literally myungjun

anyway, how do you two meet??

you're a vocal performance major

coincidentally, the same major as myungjun

oh god so you can bet he really played matchmaker for you two

you and myungjun were doing a duet together for one of your final projects during your second year

and you two were joking around like

damn, we should record this, we sound pretty fire

*cue myungjun immediately calling jinjin*

mj: ARE YOU AT THE STUDIO?? ARE YOU FREE RIGHT NOW??

jin: hyung why are you yelling it's literally 6 pm

anyway, it was spontaneous but you and myungjun end up going to one of the recording studios in the music building where jinwoo very often frequents at

you're like a bit shy, like wtf myungjun you didn't tell me that your friend was cute?? you would have worn something better than sweats and a tank

jin's so nice ugh, just imagine him smiling at you as he introduces himself

literally you melted

his fit? bucket hat, glasses, shorts and a tee

it was so casual, but why did he look so cute??

myungjun convinces jinwoo to let you guys record in the studio

it took him just 10 minutes to set up the equipment and everything

you were just looking at him like ooo looks so professional

sksksk im gross

myungjun goes first bc you were nervous

and yeah duh he was a natural, but you couldn't help but admire jinwoo in his prime

he looked so attractive in the producer chair just like instructing mj in the booth

he didn't even know what kind of song you guys were singing, but he directed him so smoothly so that the best parts of myungjun's voice came out

mj joking around: why's your mouth open, y/n? amazed at my voice?

you roll your eyes: sure if that's what you want to believe

your thoughts: ah haha i was totally not oogling your best friend myungjun, totally not

and then it was your turn to go in the booth

you don't know why, but you were hella nervous singing in front of them–or more so, in front of jinwoo

which is dumb bc you're literally a vocal performance major, you sing in front of strangers all the damn time

but you really wanted to impress him for some reason??

okay, you had no reason to be nervous because as soon as you opened your mouth?? jinnie?? literally awestruck

he's heard a lot of singers, obviously bc he's had to record so many of them

but you?? your voice?? a literal siren for him–but in a good way!

your singing entranced him

and then you looked out of the booth to see him just staring at you and your throat went dry

your voice cracked, you've never felt more embarrassed in your life

you: ah! oh my God I'm so sorry, that was horrendous

myungjun's laughing at you, what a nice duet partner

but jin just smiles bc you're whining and hiding your face in your hands

you were so cute??

jinwoo: it's okay y/n, you were doing really good. let's try that again, okay?

he was so sweet about it, ugh you were blushing

you end up recording again, and this time you made the smart decision to close your eyes and just try and focus on the lyrics

and shit, if jinjin wasn’t already a bit interested in you before, he definitely was now

because the way you looked completely immersed in the song and lyrics

his heart skipped like ten miles i dont know

myungjun just knew from the way jinwoo was staring at you

you didn’t get his number from the first meeting

bitch you were too shy, you just squeaked out a “thank you, hope myungjun and I weren’t too much of a bother”

jin: hyung’s always a bother, but you were totally fine

mj: hey!

anyway you leave with a bit of regret, like you should have at least gotten his snapchat or social media or something

or make a dumb excuse to try and see him again

ah but mj was already ten steps ahead of you and jinjin ;)

when you get back to your apartment, there’s a text from myungjun like

“come back to jinwoo’s studio tomorrow for the final mix of our duet”

you immediately jump at the opportunity: okay! what time?

damn could you be any more obvious??

this time you actually tried to look cute, like you were going to see jinwoo again, you couldn’t look like a rat

you get to the studio at the time myungjun told you and you’re like?? oh it’s just jinwoo here?? maybe myungjun’s running a bit late??

jinwoo: oh hey y/n! wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon

you: ???? myungjun told me to come here to listen to the final mix...

jinwoo being shy: he didn’t tell me about that haha

you’re embarrassed, about to turn on your heel and book it

maybe also thinking of murdering myungjun on the way back to your place

but then jinwoo grabs your wrist before you could leave

and you literally felt a spark at his touch, it made you jump a little bit

jin: you can stay if you want–I mean, you came all this way already, I’d be a bit of jerk if I just make you leave

you: I-uh-don’t wanna intrude

he just shakes his head with a smile: you’re not, don’t worry. besides, I’m actually working on your song right now, you can tell me what you think

and that’s how you end up hanging out with jinwoo alone in the studio

you were obviously very awkward and nervous at first

what do you say to him? should you ask him questions? what if you’re bothering him? god you don’t want to sound like an idiot

jinwoo noticed your nervousness––and yes he was nervous too, but he just hid it better than you

he hands you a pair of headphones: here, listen to what I have done so far

you’re like pleasantly surprised??? you and myungjun sound so professional?? like damn put this out on spotify or something

you’re smiling and jinwoo just feels like a huge sense of relief like phew okay you like it so far

and then you two just get to talking while he’s still mixing

you ask him how he got into music and his major and all that fun stuff

you find out that jin’s always loved music and the actual producing aspect of it, he hopes to be a music producer one day and he just flirts with you like

“hey maybe one day you can sing my songs on stage”

and you’re like ??? me??? 

jin: you have one of the best voices I’ve ever heard, it would be an honor for me

ugh jinwoo stop im blushing

you two end up ordering food and eating at the studio bc he promised himself that he wouldn’t leave until he finished your duet and you didn’t wanna leave him alone tf

you and jinwoo exchange numbers this time hehe

before you leave, he’s like “this was nice y/n, you should come over and keep me company more often :) if...you want of course”

you: i’d be happy to! just text me any time :)

internally you’re screaming like yes !! 

you can bet that you start spending a lot of your free time with jinwoo in the music studio

sometimes it’s just you two

sometimes myungjun and their other friends make appearances too

and that’s how you get introduced to their friend group

myungjun to either of you: you’re spending a lot of time with jin/yn lately ;)

about a month after meeting each other, jinwoo asks you out on a date

with the encouragement of astro

it was all expected let’s be honest

cliche first date at the movies, but like you both loved it

wouldn’t be surprised if astro was spying on you two, sitting like a couple rows behind and watching your every move

but shhh if they did, you and jinwoo didn’t notice

the transition from liking each other →  going on dates →  making it exclusive went so smoothly

you and jin were hooked on each other after the first couple meetings that it just seemed so right

myungjun will never stop saying that he’s the reason why you two are in a relationship

you and the other boys grow very fond with each other–particularly sanha

and that was important for jinwoo bc the guys are like his family and it’s basically a dream for him that his partner and friends are close too

sanha is his child do not @ me

so by osmosis, sanha becomes like your baby too

the two of you literally coddle sanha, it’s cute okay

they all go to you and jin for relationship advice sksksk

bc to them, you two just seem so made for each other :’) 

the !! sweetest !! most perfect !! boyfriend

will walk you to class in the morning even if his class is all the way across campus

and you’re like: jinwoo it’s okay, i can see you after this class, you might get late!

jin being pouty: i just wanna spend more time with you :(

im in love with jinjin

loves holding your hand, even when you two are in the studio and he’s mixing something for class or just for fun, he’s still holding your hand

whenever he makes a composition, you’re the first person he shows

really values what you think of his work

vice versa, when you have a song you need to sing, you always ask him to listen to you first

you don’t sugarcoat with each other when it comes to music

will ask you to sing literally all the time

jinwoo gives the best hugs :’)

it’s just so comforting, one of his hands strokes your hair, while the other one rubs your lower back

you know what kind of picture im creating?? yeah

ooooof baby you go with him when he gets his tattoos

you hold his hand through it the entire time even though he probably didn’t feel much pain from it

and like his big ass chest tattoo??? are you drooling??? 1000%

when jinwoo realizes that you get ??? turned on?? by his tattoos, you bet he begins to walk around shirtless in your apartment

is this my transition to down and dirty? yes it is

your first time with him was mmm rough and it’s all thanks to that chest tattoo

you and jinwoo have been steamy before, like makeout sessions and dry humping, and oral (both receiving), but the actual action of fucking? y’all haven’t done it before that night

ofc he’s being a little tease and walking around shirtless

he was always touching you though, not explicitly, but like say you were washing the dishes, he would walk past you and brush his hand passed your waist and he’d whisper in your ear like: sorry baby excuse me

and like he’s done this the whole day so just at one point you lose it and literally push him against the wall and start making out with him

ah he knew you were gonna crack

and god you were so turned on at this point that you were not having any of that soft shit, like you needed him to fuck you asap

jinwoo fucks you so hard your first time together that you couldn’t walk the next day

hehe

oh boy he likes to bite

yes he’s the sweetest, but in the bedroom?? lowkey a bit of a masochist

it’s okay bc you don’t mind a little bit of pain ;)

daddy!! kink!! i dont make the rules

will call you baby girl/boy

he’s the dom, like will very rarely let you dom him

very private with your sex life, you won’t catch him teasing you in public with other people around

and if you try, like say if you whisper daddy in his ear or something while you are hanging out with the guys, oof it’s gonna be a rough night for you

alright but studio sex

has he recorded your moans before?? or you two having sex in the booth?? yes

debatably, studio sex happens more than bedroom sex, but that’s only because most of jinwoo’s time is literally in the music building

jinwoo dirty talk !! with his sexy ass raspy voice !! 

ugh jin moaning in your ear what a good girl/good boy you are for him while he’s just fucking you

will slightly degrade you?? like yes you are his cocksleeve

but he also praises you a lot during sex too

ooh you better hope you don’t have a gag reflex bc he’s all into throat fucking

favorite position is actually missionary, believe it or not

he loves seeing you come undone for him

eye contact during sex?? yes

like he will make sure you’re looking at him when you cum, periodt

favorite place to cum is your face oops

also very much into cockwarming

most of the time, your sessions are rough just bc your vibes are like that

but when they’re soft and slow?? and like making love?? 

literally the most passionate man ever

jin makes it all about you and your pleasure when he’s being gentle

after care is full of kisses and cuddles and I love yous

always makes sure you drink water after having sex

stay hydrated kids

and jinwoo’s back to being the bestest boyfriend :’)

first i love you was when you two were in bed together

you both just woke up and were cuddling

jin was watching the video you sent him of you practicing this one song for an upcoming performance

and you were still drowsy, so you were literally drifting in and out of sleep while he was listening to your video

and jinwoo was just awestruck, he’s always been in love with your voice from the get go, but the way you executed this song? even though it was just practice? his chest was constricting

you’re like mumbling when the video stops: i still need to work more on the bridge, my tone gets a bit flat during it, right?

and he just smiles softly at you even though your eyes are closed and you can’t see him

he thought it was perfect already, you were perfect already

and he just calls your name: y/n

you: hmm??

jin: I love you

and suddenly you’re awake and meeting his eyes

they were so genuine and serious and full of love, you don’t even hesitate to say it back

honestly not the jealous type, he’s so patient and trusting and knows that you’re crazy about only him

will constantly reassure you about any of your insecurities: body, voice, school, your relationship, anything

jinwoo just has such a calming aura around him that you can’t help but feel like, as long as he’s by your side everything will be okay

the two of you have many deep talks together, especially at night before going to sleep, it’s what makes your relationship so solid

jinwoo just knew that he wanted to marry you, even early on into your relationship

there was no one that supported him more in his dreams, no one that he’s ever truly felt connected with, no one that he’s shared all his deepest fears with than you

and like after a year of dating like he couldn’t picture a future without you in it

he’s a romantic :’)

shortly before graduating, he makes a song about you and he’s actually singing in it

ugh main vocal jinjin rise

and he shows it to you in the music studio where you first met

and it’s about how much he loves you and admires you and treasures you

basically a proposal but not really

and you’re so touched, like literally moved to tears because it was so beautiful

and lowkey he was cringing at hearing his singing voice but you still loved it nonetheless

and afterwards, jinwoo was like: I wanna spend the rest of my life with you y/n, I’m not asking you to marry me right now, obviously I’ll propose to you in a better way in the future, but I’m serious about you and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

you jump into his lap and kiss him and just keep saying I love you in between kisses

and jinwoo’s all smiley and giggly like: do you feel the same??

and you hit his arm all jokingly, yes of course you do

you just sit on his lap and he’s hugging you while the two of you are listening to more of his projects and jinwoo’s just thinking like wow I love this person so much

maybe the two of you do owe it to myungjun for playing matchmaker

i guess mj can be the best man at your wedding

y’all this was so soft??

but yes jinnie’s the best bf/husband material out there

im in love with him

_________________________________________________

2-8-21

#shit i was literally getting butterflies writing this #~the~ softest shit ever #I LOVE JINJIN #HE'S SO SOFT YET SO HOT AT THE SAME TIME #i just wanna cuddle him and then have him fuck me into tomorrow evening #jinjin #astro #park jinwoo #jinwoo #astro jinjin #astro fluff #astro smut #astro au #astro scenarios #astro headcanons #astro fics #jinjin au #jinjin smut #jinjin fluff #jinjin headcanon #jinjin scenarios #college bf!jinjin #jinwoo au #jinwoo smut #jinwoo fluff #jinwoo headcanon #jinwoo scenarios

[sab-teraa]

o.m.g.

i finally caught up with AMI. (spoilers)

best part of ep 16 was when everyone was freaking out at the hospital and ozan actually called chynar to let him know where/how esra was. i thought that was very commendable. you think chynar would do the same for ozan?

ep 17, oh mannn. its getting gooooood. psh, why would chynar think he has any right to pay esra's family's debt? get outa here. but omgggg the last 5 seconds! what a twist!

im actually really enjoying this pacing and story. its, to my surprise, still very gripping! the mutual jealousy and pining and heartbreak is well written and, at least to me, it doesnt seem like we're going in circles. they may repeat a set up but the outcome will go the other way the second time. (they accused esra of hurting the company before and ozan got her arrested. now hes learned. finally....)

im trying hard not to hate chynar looool. but god, hes so annoying. chagla is just fun to hate at this point. almost impressed at her persistence and determination. esp for a man who is so repulsed by her. im also trying hard not to get pissed at ozan. but if he doesnt get more serious about his divorce, like... esra remains smart and strong and fabulous.

cant wait for next epi! i am realllllly hoping we get esra and ozan to team up against chagla, who is just blatantly sabotaging the company now. i need them to take her downnnnn. ya thats all my thoughts :)

Hey hey my lovely <3 So so sorry for the late reply, I wanted to catch up with subs before I responded! Episode 16: I agree! It was extremely commendable. Ozan's main priority has always been to ensure that Esra is okay + happy, no matter how that makes him feel! Tho, he did backtrack for a bit lol. I also loved how he fought against her family + friends to see her ... we know how much Ozan values and respects them, so for him to go against them was just wow! Plus, that scene where he looked at his hands covered in blood?? GOOSEBUMPS! Tbh, I don't think C*nar would. C*nar sees Ozan as competition and is determined to paint this image that he knows Esra best and is the best choice for Esra. As such, even if the situation was dire, I doubt he would go to Ozan for help. For C, it would be surrendering to Ozan and accepting his defeat. What do you think? :)

Episode 17: Yes yes yes! I agree with all your points! With regards to C*nar, he is honestly a walking red flag ... I mean?? His lack of work ethic, his entitlement with regards to money, putting up her parent's cafe on the app without talking to her, offering Esra a job so she has to spend time with him, demanding that she always tell him xyz, following her, investigating into her past, revealing their relationship to everyone without talking to her, DEMANDING THAT EVERYTHING CONCERNING HER GO THROUGH HIM FIRST and TAKING HER TO A CLUB ON THEIR FIRST DATE?? Yuck. If there's one thing I've realized about C*nar, its that his anger towards Ozan doesn't stem from his 'love' for Esra, rather it's the fact that he feels humiliated and embarrassed over the fact that he made himself a fool in front of Ozan. What do you think? :)  I agree. That entire mutual jealousy and pining scene was just brilliant. I also loved the inclusion of the flashback ... it really emphasized how much EsZan love each other and how sacred these moments once were. It was also great to see Esra’s actions + reasonings somewhat parallel that of Ozans ... they finally showed the audience that Esra isn’t as flawless as Ozan + the audience think.  I also loved the parallels between Esra-Ozan vs Esra-C*nar. The flower one was particularly v heartbreaking :( and it also emphasized that C*nar thinks that he can apologise with gifts rather than with words?? Dummy lol! Plus, she was so nonchalant when C*nars ex appeared + was flirting with him lol ... if it was ozan, sis would have lost it loooooool!  Also, we saw her somewhat back down on a fight with C*nar ... a complete contrast to when she is with Ozan. I realised that arguing (petty and serious) is somewhat their love language .... i mean Ozan literally visited her the night before his wedding to C*gla to fight lol. If they can’t be together and express their love the way they want, fighting is the next option. I defo think they get this from their mums LOL! Petty arguments is defo their love language ... Menekshe was so upset that Zumrut would now fight with the twins mum instead LOL.  I loved that scene of Ozan ‘crying’ on the balcony. It was HEARTBREAKING! We know he is an extremely emotional person, but we rarely see him cry ... personally I think this has a lot to do with Zumrut and the fact that she always suppressed her sadness and never cried in front of anyone (we saw this in ep 8). Like his mum, he keeps his insecurities + emotions bottled up ... way more than we think.  MY ABSOLUTE FAVE PART WAS OZAN CALLING C*AGLA ESRA LMAOOOOOO! I watched it like 10 times and laughed each time lol. I wanted a cheating trope, but this was better lol. I also loved Zumurt realizing that she hates C*gla LMAOOO.  The twins Same. At this point I’m over them lol. I can’t wait for C*nar to enter a similar villain era to his sister. His storyline bores me LOL. With regards to C*gla ... nothing she does surprises me anymore lol.  Ozan + Esra Oooooo, I did notice that he looked high-key annoyed in the car when C*gla mentioned that she stopped the divorce proceedings, but that could be my Ozan bias lol.   With regards to Esra, I’m trying not to get annoyed with her lol. I don’t understand how one can say such things and when he sees it unfold in front of his eyes, be upset that he possibly moved on?? She literally saw him begging her + how close he was to breaking point, and she still pushed it knowing the consequences.  If anything, if I was Ozan I would be mad at her lol. Like, yes you want to protect me ..... but why don’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth? She’s the only one who refuses to acknowledge how strong Ozan is + his problem solving skills lol. She defo gets this from her mum ... her mum has constantly carried the family’s burdens ...  and Esra sees it as the norm and something she must do to ensure that her loved ones are happy.  I have to admit, Esra is not to blame entirely. Ozan’s biggest issue is that he finds his value and self-worth in Esra, and if she is not there, he is unable to function. While at the same time he is afraid to share his insecurities with her out of fear that she would leave him.  Have you watched episode 18 and 19? I would love to hear your thoughts! 

#ask mantik intikam #ami ask #tye talks dizi #turkish #turkish dizi #turkish series #esra x ozan #ozan x esra #ilhan sen #burcu ozberk #esra erten #ozan korfali

[fandomtrash264]

I have some Fred and George promts that I don't want to forget so imma put them here. If you are interested in writting them, by all means go for it, just tag me. I don't think I have a preference over who is in each scenario. I will probably write George and Fred based on what I thought but they should work with either twin. I do think they are different, im just saying that I could see the story going with either boy

• Reader and Fred pull a prank on George that changes his hair color based on mood. (Red - angry, blue - sad, green - disgust, light pink - embarrassed, hot pink - flirty, purple - in love/swooning, dark purple -lust) The 3 are sitting in the great hall eating and George is staring at reader and his hair turns purple. Reader thinks he has just zoned out and starts to bug him asking who he is thinking about. Leads to confession (and I imagine he is embarrassed so his hair is pink)

• Reader is a metamorphmagus and they like to switch between male and female so they change their physical appearance as such. (I see Fred as bi ngl) Fred gets a crush on the reader without knowing they are both people. A little while later, he falls for the other side (if that makes sense) of them and thinks he likes 2 different people. He is super torn and has no idea what to do

•This one is a Soulmate AU. The one where you can hear the music your soulmate is listening to. Reader is listening to ✨🌶 S p i c y 🌶 ✨ music and he knows its reader and he is shocked because they don't seem like they would listen to it and he is pleasantly suprised to find they are super flirty and such (he is twin of your choice lol)

•Yet again, one of our boys gets pranked. They lie about something that makes reader upset so they prank them so that everytime they try to talk, bubbles come out instead and the only way to undo it is to do somthing super embarrassing (I'll leave that to y'alls imagination's) and they refuse because they are petty but they eventually give in with this big social stunt or smth

•i imagine reader is a Ravenclaw (could really be any) who is the child of Bellatrix and *Moldy Voldy* (why ravenclaw you ask? I'll explain) They are in George and Fred's year so they are older than Harry. Reader was rescued a little before Harry was born and got to stay with someone else (probably Remus or smth. I imagine a gryfinndor so that way the Slytherin and the Gryfinndor kinda cancel out so you get Ravenclaw. Slytherin is their blood but they know its wrong so they push for the good values. I know slytherins can be good [believe me, I am very big on the fact that not all Slytherins are evil] but when its Bella and Mr. Tom, they have some bad bones) and they keep it a secret from their friends (the twins, the trio, etc.) Until Remus brings them to an OoTP meeting. He doesn't say who he just says he is bringing He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named 's child and they are terrified of how their friends will react. Kinda angsty but eventually they all understand that reader isn't evil

• Branching off of the previous, same family situation but when they were younger, they weren't seen as a child, they were a weapon. Trixie and Tommy boy would experiment on them so they are lowkey fucked up. They are super powerful and struggle to control it. Reader freaks out because they are terrified that he will be able to control them or see in their mind and good 'ole Gred and Forge help our reader to feel better and reassure them

• Reader and a twin are dating in 7th year (With Umbridge) and instead of breaking up or telling them about the plan to start a shop, they just leave and break off all contact. Years later they see each other and reader confronts them about how he couldn't even break up with them before leaving and he confesses his worries. Inspired by the song Ways to Break a Heart by Maddie Zahm [you can find it on YouTube]

• Can happen to either the reader or George or Fred but somehow by prank or accident in class, they get separated into different parts of themselves [parts like the 7 deadly sins (so they would be split into Pride and Lust) but also other things work (like Fear and Wonder)] and the other 2 have to deal with it until the problem is fixed

• (I have a lot with the boys and pranks, sorry lol) the boys get de-aged and reader has to chase them around because they are H E A T H E N S but then later on they put them to sleep and the Love Interest (twin of choice) snuggles up to them and mentions how much they love them and reader gives it no mind because "he was a baby". They snuggle and when they wake up the boys are of normal age and the Love Interest just snuggles closer and says something like "I meant it y'know. I really do love you/think you're amazing" and just. Fluff

• (I wrote George, yet again, could work with either) Reader is playing with the sleeve/hem/string of George's sweater/hoodie and he quips with a flirty comment like "you want the whole thing? Here, give it back when it smells like you" and the reader brushes it off as a flirty comment and teases "how am I supposed to know what I smell like? I'm noseblind to myself" and he gives them a scent. The scent seems familiar to them but oh well. They wear it because its soft and it smells like him and later on when they are chilling in the common room or whatever (George isn't there) they realize that's what he said he smelt in his Amortentia in potions last week and they lowkey freak out and go to ask him about it and aaaah! Cute things ensue

• [!!!TW: Depression, suicidal thoughts!!!] Can happen to either reader or one of the boys.(If it happens to a boy i see it being George as he seems insecure of being in Fred's shadow and I will write the prompt that way but it works with Fred and reader as well) George has been a little off recently and reader and Fred can't figure out what it is until reader goes to the astronomy tower late one night and finds George on the roof of the atronomy tower, seemingly fighting with himself about whether or not he should jump off. Angst, ends with fluff, reader helps him to feel better. Inspired by the song Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

•During their 6th year with the Triwizard Tournament, a durmstrange gent takes a liking to the reader. They start to court the reader and flirt with them, give them lots of compliments, try to show their affection. The Love Interest (again, twin of choice) get REALLY jealous tho and decides to try and out-do the durmstrang boy. This leads to really extravagant methods of flirting (ex. Sending a howler that is actually a shower of compliments or after a big quidditch match, the whole team does a choreographed dance where the suitor sings/performs to reader) all of this leading up to the yule ball. They either go with the durmstrange guy and deal with Love Interest later or they end up going with the Twin, whatever you would like

• Everyone is at the Burrow and they decide to watch a movie. While everyone is in the kitchen, the twin (who is the Love Interest) comes by and says "Oh! Are you guys watching a movie?" Readet replies "Yeah, P.S. I Love you" and he just blushes really hard and sits next to them and says "I love you too". Reader doesn't know how of if they are gonna tell him that "P.S. I Love You" is the name of the movie. Then everyone else comes back in so they have to wait until after the movie to talk about it. The whole time the movie is going all they can focus on are the "I Love You"s that escaped each others mouths. Inspired by a wolfstar text post by @starsandmoonys

• Inspired by the drarry work, Mental by sara_holmes on Ao3 (which you should totally go read like holy shit i love this idea sooooo much) written with George but as usual, can work with either. Reader is in for total shock when a joke gone sour ends with George striking them with a bad Legilimency spell. Due to this spell, they can (and have to) hear each others thoughts and see the pictures in each other's minds. What will happen when they see all that goes on in each others heads? Will they learn to communicate? Will they let one another in? Will they like who they see, or will they be scared away from the thoughts behind closed eyes?

• (TW!!!!: Dreamt character death, War) Fred and reader have been friends-with-benefits for a long time with feelings slowly growing between the 2 of them. They stay in denial until Fred has a nightmare one day where reader dies in the war. The next day he is desperate to hold them and see that they are okay. He confesses his feelings in fear of losing them. Inspired by Woke the Fuck Up - Jon Bellion

• [(TW!!! War) Fred lives] Fred and Reader had a huge fight right before Fred and George left Hogwarts and leave things on a rocky ending. Fred knows just how much he needs Reader and he desperately wants them back. Reader doesn't want to admit it but they miss him.and want him back too. They see each other again after the war and Fred breaks down in their arms and confesses how much he misses them and needs them. How hard it has been without them. Reader reciprocates these feelings and tells him. They start over, slowly building their love up again inspired by Bad Habit - Ben Platt [First verse and Pre-chorus would be Fred's feelings and second verse and Pre-chorus would be Reader. They blend on the 3rd]

• George has been strangely quiet all day. Reader is confused and a little hurt as George seems to avoid them. Leaving rooms when they walk in, not keeping eye contact and staying as physically far as he can. That is until they sit down in the great hall for lunch and Fred tells his friends (including reader) all about having put a truth serum in George's drink and all the funny things he has gotten him to admit. Reader goes to confront George about what he is hiding (because otherwise he would talk to them, right?) And they get an oddly specific but touching confession [ie. "I borrow your chapstick because that is what your lips will taste like" and "I see you in my dreams almost every night" ] inspired by Jenny - Studio Killers

• [Choose whether the person who can dance is reader or Twin of Choice. I will be writting with reader] The yule ball is coming up and reader can't dance to save their life. A certain red-heades friend comes in to help. At first, reader doesn't believe him because "c'mon, why would you know how to ballroom dance?" But they are pleasantly suprised to find they are actually really good at it. Like, REALLY good. "Mum made all of us learn. In case we ever needed it". Reader notices their feelings start to change as they spend more and more sessions together dancing until the yule ball occurs. Take it from there lol

• just a very cliche typical love potion fic. Reader volunteers to be on the receiving end of one of Fred and George's pranks- spike their drink with love potion- on one condition. The person reader will be in love with, knows about it. Reader figures this will allow them some leeway and safety against other pranks. All is going well until they spike the drink for reader to like (twin of your choice) and they realize that nothing has happened except they are a bit more flirty. Everyone is crazy confused because for everyone else they were head over heels swooning and attached at the hip until Hermionie (or somebody else) quips in with "You can't create something that already exists, y'know".

• So this one is less creative and it's also a mix of 2 tropes but bear with me. Reader is a very outgoing flirtatious type of person. They openly flirt with everyone, Fred, Ginny, Neville, Dean, etc. They don't care, its a way they show affection. Then, when they start to get a crush on George (or Fred) they star getting more shy and reserved with him. And he is completely clueless. He's lowkey hurt because "why doesn't Y/n crack jokes like that with me?" And shit like that. He is feeling down when he sees it. No, not 'it', he sees you. You and Fred flirting. He's got you cornered to the wall and your cheeks are flushed and George is big mad. (When really, Fred just cornered them so they couldn't avoid the question and was teasing and asking about their crush on George). George ends up seeing out Y/n, getting them alone and confronting them. Light angst? But ends fluffy as reader explains what actually happened

*im going to keep updating this as I get more ideas so be prepared*

#prompt list #my prompts #fred and george #fred weasley #george weasley #george weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #most of these are based off of songs

[hopelikethemoon]

Freedom (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Freedom  Rating: PG-13 Length: 3000 Warnings: None Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. This is a Javier-less chapter, which is why I noted that this would be a very different type of update. This chapter is set in September of 1977, when Reader is 16. If you don’t know her backstory you can find info at the link above. If you want to know who I see as Mitch and Darla click on their names.  Summary: Reader finally escapes her situation.

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn​ @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl  @yabby-girl​ @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato​ @coredrive​ @pascalesque@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou@yespolkadotkitty @fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie @jaime1110​

“You’ll have your own room,” Mitch explained, glancing at you out of the corner of his eyes. “That’ll be nice, right?”

You nodded your head slowly, rubbing at your forehead as you watched the outskirts of the city bleed into the towering office buildings and quaint streets lined with brownstones and historic homes. You had never been out of your hometown and Philadelphia seemed like a daunting change of pace. 

Your life up until this point had been confined to a perimeter that contained your house and school. 

“And you’ll never have to live through another one of those floods.” Mitch rambled — he’d rambled a lot since he had picked you up nearly four hours ago. “That had to be scary.”

You shrugged, picking at the hem of your tee. “Not the worst thing to happen to me.” You admitted, glancing out the window again. “My mom acted like the world was going to end because she couldn’t get out of the house. Like goddamn mom, people are dead.”

Mitch cleared his throat, “I’m not looking to parent you, but you know Darla and I have a Tate—“

“Shit.” You laughed quietly, covering your mouth. “I’ll try to curb the cussing.” 

“Thanks.” He nodded his head. “And you know Darla and I are here for you, if you ever need anything.”

“I’m not looking to be a burden, promise.” You told him, winding your finger through a lock of hair as you watched out the window. “You don’t even have to feed me.”

“I’m not going to let you go hungry.” Mitch gave you a look. “Come on now, kid.”

“I can cook!” You scrunched up your nose. “I just don’t want you or Darla to feel like I’m taking advantage of your hospitality.” The last thing you wanted was to become your mother. Leeching off other people. 

“You’re my sister.”

“We share a father,” You pointed out. “Be glad you don’t share my mother.”

“Dad told me plenty of stories.” Mitch grimaced, “I don’t know how you made it out of there in one piece, kid.”

“I might have nine toes. I haven’t counted lately.” You snorted, “Think there’s a black market in toes for coke?”

“Jesus Christ.” He grimaced, before quickly changing the subject. “That’s the school you’ll be going to.”

You peered out the window at the school, “Better than Richland.”

“It’s where Darla went. It’s a great preparatory school for girls.”

“An all-girls school?” You groaned, crossing your arms across your chest. 

“You're more likely to get a scholarship there.”

“Fine.” You couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that. You still had the two and a half years of school to finish before you could think about college — but a scholarship would help. “I don’t need any distractions anyways.”

Mitch gave you a curious look, “Kid, you’re allowed to be a teen, you know. Don’t hold back from living just because you’re staying with us.”

“It’s not that,” You chewed on the inside of your cheek. “I’ve never really been a kid or whatever. I don’t plan on regressing just because I don’t have to deal with the witch.”

“Dad always said you were wise beyond your years,” Mitch remarked, turning down Chestnut Street and parking the car in front of a gorgeous brick townhome. 

“You live here?”

“Darla’s folks gifted it to her when they moved out west,” Mitch explained to you as he put the car in park.

“Oh so, rich-rich.” You gave him an amused look. “Looking at you, pitching out of your league.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mitch rolled his eyes, climbing out of the car and shutting the car door behind him. 

You climbed out of the car, moving around to the trunk as he unlocked it. “I really do appreciate this, Mitch. I’ll do whatever you guys need me to do. Vacuuming, dishes, I’ll even babysit — I can’t promise I’m good.” 

“Kid, you’re family not the new nanny.”

“New?”

“We’re in-between currently.”

“Jesus.” You whistled. “Well, I promise not to bring the property value down. It’ll be like I’m not even there. Promise.”

Mitch shook his head, “I look forward to you warming up to us. This can be your home, kid. You don’t have to act like a visitor.”

You shrugged your shoulders as you slung your duffel bag over your shoulder. “I tried the ‘home’ thing, but dad’s dead... so.” 

“I’m just saying, you can put down roots.” Mitch pulled the cardboard box out of the trunk, before he started up the stairs to the townhouse. Darla must’ve been waiting just behind the door, because she swung it open the second your feet hit the stop.

“Look at you!” Darla grinned broadly at you, “You’ve shot up like a weed since the wedding.”

“We saw each other at the funeral,” You reminded her with an awkward laugh, tucking your hair behind your ear as you warily looked around their house. “But thanks.”

Mitch was about thirteen years older than you. You had seen him only a handful of times over the course of your life. His mother, Patrice, had always been kind to you — your father and Patrice were the type of divorced parents you’d wished your own mother had been. They were still friends, up until his death. 

Before the funeral, the last time you had seen Mitch was at his wedding. He’d wanted you to actually be part of the wedding, but someone had gone postal at the thought of someone else’s family liking you. You were also only ten — what could you do about anything?

“Tate, sweetheart, this is your aunt.” Darla crouched down beside the little boy. “Say hello.”

“Hello!”

“Hi, Tate.” You smiled at him. “And how old are you?”

“Almost six.” He beamed, “Do you like cars?”

You shrugged, “They get you from point a to point b.”

“He’s been collecting Hot Wheels.” Mitch explained to you, “I’m sure he’ll show you his collection.”

Tate nodded excitedly. “Do you wanna see them now?”

“Oh—“

Mitch ruffled Tate’s hair, “Actually buddy, I’m sure your aunt would love to see them, but we need to get her unpacked. Alright?”

You glanced at Mitch before looking back to Tate, “You can show me after dinner.”

“Why don’t you go play out back?” Darla suggested, sending Tate down the hallway. “He’s been so excited about having someone to play with.”

“I see.” You nodded, your eyes flickering around the entryway, back towards the living room area. It was different to see a house that was put together. They had nice pieces of furniture and none of them were broken or unusually stained. 

Mitch cleared his throat, “If you want to, of course. Six-year-old boys can be quite rambunctious.”

You offered a strained smile, “I’m happy to help, like I said.” 

“Do you need help with anything from the car?” Darla questioned, clasping her hands together. “That can’t be all you broug—“

Mitch made a gesture to silence her, which you caught out of the corner of your eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“This is all I have,” You gestured between your duffel bag and the box he held. “I promised I wouldn’t take up too much room.”

“Speaking of your room,” Darla grinned at you. “I hope you don’t hate purple. I went a little overboard once Mitch brought up you moving in.”

She led you up a flight of stairs lined with family pictures, which led to a hallway of bedrooms. 

“Ours is at the end of the hall, beside Tate’s. You’re over here.” Mitch explained, pushing open the doorway that led to a bedroom that was at least double what your room had been before.

“Wow.” You breathed out as you stepped inside, holding your duffel bag close to you as you looked around. “Guys, I told you I didn’t need much, this feels…”

“Homey?” Darla questioned. “That’s what I was going for.”

You put on a smile as you nodded your head. You knew you had to be grateful. Mitch didn’t have to give you a place to live. Sure, your dad had wanted it, but that didn’t mean he had to. 

You were emancipated from your mother now, you could go anywhere — live…. anywhere. Realistically, you had three options; your mother’s, Mitch’s, or the street. 

“Homey… is a great word.” You threw your duffle bag down on the foot of the bed, watching as Mitch sat the cardboard box with your few personal items down on the floor. 

“You’ll be starting at Girls’ High next week.” Darla explained. “We can go shopping for your uniform this weekend. That’ll give you a few days to settle into your new life here.”

“Thank you,” You told her with a slightly more sincere smile. “Thank you both.”

Mitch scratched at the back of his neck, “Yeah, well, it’s what dad would’ve wanted.”

“I miss him.”

“Me too.” He nodded. “Alright, well we will give you a chance to settle in. Dinner is usually around six.”

Darla smiled at you, “No pressure. You can join us or I can bring a plate up. I know things have been a bit chaotic for you.”

You tucked your hair behind your ears and nodded, “You don’t have to make dinner for me. I would be happy with a cheese sandwich.”

She shook her head, “I won’t hear of that. I’ll bring it up to you. How’s that sound?”

“Good.” You kicked off your shoes and sank down on the side of your bed. It was a real bed. Matching sheets, a mattress topper, and nice metal headboard. 

It looked new, which really was a novelty. 

You waited until Mitch and Darla could be heard walking down the steps, before you sank back on the bed and finally relaxed. 

You didn’t know how long it would take you to really be relaxed. Being on edge had kept you alive this long. But it was a feat not to give into the urge to grab the chair that sat at the vanity and wedge it under the doorknob. 

You covered your face with your hands, letting out a heavy sigh as you let the reality of your new life settle in. 

Next week would mark a new beginning. A new school, a new chance to be someone. You weren’t beholden to anyone but yourself now. If you failed, it was your own fault. You weren’t trapped under the shadow of your mother. 

Though, the thought of having to wear a uniform until you graduated sounded like bullshit. 

You pushed yourself back upright, looking around the room for the folder you’d spotted sitting on the vanity. You climbed off the bed to retrieve the fold. It was white and yellow, with the school seal set in the center. Darla had clearly gone to great lengths filling everything out for you — the forms were mostly filled in, save for your name and signature where it was necessary. 

Apparently, you had just missed the father-daughter dance. 

You closed the folder and sat it back on the vanity, before you retreated back to the bed to collect the cardboard box. You didn’t have much to unpack. 

A framed picture of you and your father that had spent the better part of its existence hidden from your mother’s sight; the trophy you won freshman year for the science fair; three of your favorite books; and bedside alarm clock. 

Aside from that, you had only taken the clothes you wore most often, not even bothering to worry about other seasons. You had enough money to buy new clothes in the winter. 

And with uniforms for school — you didn’t have to worry about other classmates judging you for repeating outfits. 

School was just a means to an end. Get good grades, get a scholarship, and do something worthwhile. Something that would actually help someone. 

Your mother had screamed at you that you were worthless — that you would never amount to anything because you were ungrateful — more times than you cared to recall. You had to prove her wrong. One day, she’d see that her daughter had amounted to something. Not because of her, but in spite of her. 

 ——

 “How did you sleep last night?” Darla questioned as you joined her in the kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen table across from Tate. 

“The bed was super comfortable,” You offered, preferring not to tell her that you hadn’t slept at all. Though there were bags under your eyes that told a different story.

You had slept for an hour — maybe two. You couldn’t relax, despite how hard you had tried. You had gone to sleep on a comfortable bed, with clean sheets, and a full stomach, but sleep just didn’t come to you. 

The only reason you slept at all was because you had gotten up and put the chair in front of the door. The house was quiet — there were no addicts down the hall getting high, no yelling, no chaos, but your mind told you there could be. 

Darla sat a glass of juice down in front of you, “Do you drink coffee?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, taking a sip of the juice. “Cream and sugar if you don’t mind.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t mind at all. I know you think you’re a burden to us, but I’m happy to have you here. Really.”

“I don’t want to be a charity case.” You told her, taking another sip of your juice as Mitch walked down the stairs and joined all of you in the kitchen. 

“Well, you’re not one. So don’t worry.”

“Hey, kid.” Mitch gave your shoulder a pat as he walked past the table. “Didn’t know if you’d come down.”

You shrugged, “The smell of coffee was too strong of a temptation.” 

“Do you have plans for the day?” He questioned as he poured himself a cup of coffee. 

Tate rolled one of his model cars across the table to you and you turned it around and rolled it back. 

“I thought I might check out a book shop we passed yesterday. What does a normal Monday look like for you?”

“I’ve got work,” Mitch explained before gesturing to Darla. “She’s got her committees.”

“Committees?”

“I’m on the board of the Philadelphia Museum of Art,” Darla offered. “And the Daughters of the American Revolution.”

“Don’t forget the Trocadero,” Mitch supplied, pressing a kiss to Darla’s cheek, before he circled back around to the table. “She’s very connected to the art scene here in the city. If you have any interest in the arts, I’m sure she can find you a job or an internship.”

“I don’t know what I want to do,” You admitted, playing with the end of your braid as you stared down at the glass of juice in front of you. “I never thought I’d get out of Johnstown.”

“Hopefully you can figure that out,” Darla said as she handed you your cup of coffee. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do,” She told you, “But I found a passion for art in high school.”

“Does it pay well?”

“Oh,” Darla exchanged a look with Mitch. “Technically I’m a volunteer.”

“Ah.” You frowned. Given the house you were eating breakfast in and what Mitch had said last night — Darla had been born with a silver spoon in her mouth. “As nice as that sounds, I really need something somewhat lucrative.”

Mitch day down beside Tate, across from you, “You’ve got plenty of time to figure out what you want to be. Don’t grow up too fast.”

You smiled a little, “I’ll try not to.” You drummed your fingers against the side of your mug, “What do you do again, Mitch?”

“I’m a real estate broker.”

Your brows furrowed together, “I have no idea what that is.”

“I work for a real estate agency as a manager.” Mitch clarified, sipping at his coffee. “If you wanted to work in real estate, I could get you an internship.”

“I don’t know if I could sell houses,” You made a face. “I’m just going to focus on high school right now. Work on getting a scholarship.”

Tate rolled his car across the table again, “Do you like my car?”

You picked the car up and examined it, “I do. It’s very cool.” You rolled it back to him, glancing at Mitch. “I’m pretty self-sufficient. I'm sure I’ll figure out what my life’s calling is.”

“Philadelphia has so much going on. It’s very up-and-coming in areas.” Darla told you. “You could make a whole life for yourself here in the city.”

“Maybe.” You took a sip of coffee then. Now that you were free — there was a whole world of possibilities. You didn’t have to stay in Pennsylvania for the rest of your life. 

You could go anywhere, be anything, make a name for yourself. 

Mitch and his little family were great, but you didn’t feel any attachment to them. You didn’t feel any attachment to much of anything, frankly. Maybe you were broken. Maybe you’d been through so much shit with your mother, that you’d just shut down emotionally. 

You knew what love was; you even knew what home and family was supposed to feel like, but you weren’t sure you had it in you to feel those things. It was like falling asleep on your hand — you could feel touch, but it didn’t feel real. 

Maybe that’s what your mother felt. Maybe Rebecca was the way she was because there was a big black hole where her heart was supposed to be. 

But you weren’t going to let yourself become her. Maybe one day you could feel something. 

Wouldn’t that be something? 

#javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader