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writingwithcolor · 4 months

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Author with cultural disconnect: How do I write without making it seem as if I hate my own heritage?

Anonymous asked:

I’m a white-passing Asian author, and I’ve never felt all that connected with my heritage. My current story centers on a fairy (re: fantasy-world POC) child and ends with her realizing that her parents are toxic af and her human best friend’s family takes her in. This is the perfect opportunity to sort through my own issues with my heritage and finally convince my monkey-brain that it’s okay to not know how to cook Vietnamese food or celebrate tet or speak Vietnamese… But I also realize that if I’m not careful, this could easily slip into “Hey, I hate my heritage and so should you!” So how can I stop that from happening?

Writing for yourself first, not an audience

I ask you a simple question: why put pressure on yourself to have any sort of non-offensive messaging for a story that hasn’t been drafted yet and is to convince your monkey brain it’s okay to exist as yourself?

That seems like the fastest way to stop the story from being actually cathartic and instead a performance art piece when you already feel hung up on performing as “properly” part of your culture.

As I said in Working Through Identity Issues and Other Pitfalls of Representation, not all stories you write need to be for public consumption. Especially stories you’re using for your own self-processing and therapy, because you’re trying to get a cathartic moment that is rewriting your own story.

At what point does the public need to be involved in that?

I do understand the compulsion to want to post—I have definitely posted some Questionable™ material in my drive to get validation for feeling the way I do, wanting people to witness me and say “same.” It’s a powerful urge. Sometimes it’s worked, but most of the time it’s just made me feel horrifically exposed.

But you really do not have to post in public to get any sort of validation. Set up a groupchat with friends if you want the cheerleading and witnessing—people who will know your story and give you good-faith interpretations and won’t accuse you of anything. Honestly I’d suggest setting up this groupchat anyway; as someone who just got one again after quite a few years without it, my productivity has skyrocketed from being around supportive people.

Let the monkey brain have its monkey brain moment and shut off the concept the story is for the public. Shut off the concept of performing for an unknown audience. It’s for you. Be authentic, no matter how bad it would look to outsiders. They’re not reading it. Part of getting catharsis, sometimes, is being the worst version of yourself, somewhere nobody else can see it.

Deciding to publish the work

If, after you do write it, you find that you actually do want to polish it up and put it somewhere… edit it. Rewrite it entirely if that’s what it takes. Take the story through the same drafting process every story needs to go through, ripping out the unfortunate implications as you go.

Editing can be its own form of healing, as you try to figure out what this character would need to not be hateful. As you realize, once this longform journal entry is out of your head, what was bothering you now that you can see it pinned down on a page. But you absolutely do not need to write with the intention of editing in that healing. When I’ve tried, it’s fallen flat.

The healing will come from being yourself, no public involved, and writing about your feelings in their rawest form. Anything else is extra.

There’s no point in trying to put guard rails on the drafting process, not for a deeply personal piece. And by the time that drafting process is done, you’ll likely have specific scenarios and contexts that you can ask about, and you might even have ideas on how to fix it yourself once the story has a shape to it.

This is 100% a situation where there’s no real sense in idea workshopping something in the plotting stage. You’re doing something for you. Decide if it’s for public consumption later (while acknowledging “no” is a perfectly valid answer), and only figure out how to make the story not overtly harmful if you decide to put it out into the public.

~ Leigh

#culture #cultural disconnect #creator responsibility #writing #authors of color #asks

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venusandsaturnsrings · 2 months

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Okay lemme just

I have jjk brainrot and lemme just try to categorise my thoughts instead of letting them go !!!!!!!!

GOJO:

-Special grade teaser, this man will have you begging and edging you till you're crying

-def into letting you wear his blindfold, bonus if you're tied up

GETO

Pet play, corruption kink, need i go on- also if going with bottom Geto, def whimpers if you tug on his hair

MEGUMI

Purely basing this on an rp i had with a friend- lactation kink. Absolutely down for 3 somes with his SO + Yuji, we stan a bi king

SUKUNA

Blood kink, marking, anyway he can show off that you're his. Prolly bites you on the darn daily

MAHITO (making this extra long for you <3)

Hear me out- virgin but freaky AF

Watersports, spit, blood, cum, he's down for anything

Def has fantasies about carving his name into his fav human toy (you <3) preferably on the chest for all to see

Wil push you to your limits, prolly sucks at aftercare but can be bribed ibto beibg the best with it jn return for some new games and toys *nudge nudge wink wink*

Bonus-

Geeting double penetrated by Mahito and Foul Legacy Taru <3

IM LISTENING IM HEARING U OUT IM BRAINROTTING WITH U!! i’m crafting up a silly au where everyone lives and no one suffers and everyone gets to be happy and go to uni together and and and… so given that, i’m writing gumi n junpei as over 18!! crazy to think about but in canon time im younger than all of them… fucked up how time works huh… ANYWAYS…

includes: this is just general headcanons building off what you said my dearest + adding a couple of my own thoughts!! has Gojo, Geto, Megumi, Sukuna, Mahito, and Junpei bc he is so special to me <3 i am one of 3 Junpei kinnies on this planet i swear…

i’m not a major Gojo fucker, if anything we have hate sex that is fuelled by pent up arousal and being big time touch starved… but the idea of him using his blindfold on you?? oh dear oh my… it’s both a big step in trust and vulnerability. given that he finds not having his eyes covered to be immensely overwhelming, i imagine there’d be a strong bond between him and his partner to do this. he’s used to seeing you through the way he detects energy, it’s second nature to him, but he’ll never quite get over what it’s like to actually see you with his real eyes. his fingertips are shaking and he can’t seem to look at anything other than your face twisted in pleasure as he denies you your nth release of the day; it’s a carnal satisfaction. he tends to be very mouthy and loud whenever you’re going at it but with you splayed out in front of him like this, your body shielded by absolutely nothing, he’s rather quiet as he takes in every inch of you. it’s a form of depraved worship, in a way, that he feels so compelled to hardly even breathe to appreciate you and only you as much as he possibly can.

i’d be a liar if i said i wasn’t terribly down bad for Geto. long-haired men get me good and he’s no exception… he’s 100% into pet play and corruption you hit the nail on the head!! it’s half a control thing and half a desire to please, he doesn’t feel a lot of power over his life and being able to get some of that from what you two do together his cathartic. he’s partial to cat girls, having a little kitty for him to play with and to kneel at his feet brings him satisfaction like nothing else. Geto is also the best at aftercare!! he’s very tender in how he treats you, already having a nice warm bath and a glass of water ready… anything you need, just ask, he’d give the world to stay by your side as long as he possibly can.

prior to this ask, i’d never actually thought of Megumi before… but, hear me out, going off of his thing of sharing you with Yuji, i think he’s into being cucked. i’m sorry to be the one to say it but to my core i believe this is true and canon… when it’s just the two of you, Gumi has the tendency to get a bit nervous and lost at times so seeing someone he trusts so deeply take the reigns and really work to make you feel good without hesitation gets him going. sometimes he does get a bit jealous of the way Yuji palms at your tits or the way he gets you to squeal so loud but ultimately he knows you’re his. even if Yuji offered to snag you away, you wouldn’t accept because Gumi is the one you want (reassure him from time to time though). plus, after watching so many times, he gains a better grasp on what to do!! i think he also likes letting Yuji instruct him on just how to fuck you proper. <3

Sukuna… you are a man of many wonders and arms. he is absolutely the biggest biter of them all!! will use his normal mouth most of the time but really enjoys using his stomach mouth to nip at your ass when he’s plowing you from behind as the way you yelp in surprise never fails to get him going. he loves that having four arms means he can keep your hips still, choke you, and grope at whatever skin he wants all at the same time; there’s never a part of your body that goes missed. despite his claims of not caring about humans, there’s nothing that he loves more than having you dangle off his arm and getting to touch you in a way nobody else ever could. also, two cocks absolutely. prepare yourself to be stuffed full, he’s partial to having them both balls deep in your pussy.

FREAKY VIRGIN MAHITO IS REAL!! he’s all about experimenting so there’s really nothing he wouldn’t try honestly, it’s more of a challenge to convince him to not do certain things *shivers*… but that does come with a lot of bonuses seeing that he won’t write off anything so it’s free game for you!! odds are he’ll enjoy anything so long as he learns something from it, if it gets him off then even better. he’s naturally most interested in anything that’ll induce pain, emotional or physical, and things that allow him to be in complete control (submitting to a human? fat chance). Depending on how exactly he sees you, and how ooc you’re willing to take, you’re either going to be a good ol fashion pump n dump that he brutally slaughters OR you’ll end up being his forever pet that he won’t let out of his sight for more than fifteen seconds… both are a unique form of suffering but it’s Mahito, so there’s really no white picket fence ending option… regardless, prepare yourself to be used in the grossest ways. he’s got a particular fondness for watersports and anything that results in blood, with a preference for knife play and good ol aggressive biting, simply because he likes seeing you become a filthy depraved mess even when he’s being so cruel. i have a vague concept for a human au but even then he’s a nasty freak with no boundaries!!

adding Junpei onto this because he’s so dear to my heart and also the biggest incel. affection doesn’t come easy to him especially when it’s sexual, he finds being on the receiving end to feel as though it’s only because you pity him. try as you might, convincing him otherwise is going to take some time but he has no problem understanding his own feelings to be true although he’s shy… major panty sniffer alert, he’s too scared to actually try anything with you but he’s got his needs!! stealing a cute white cotton pair from your hamper is the next best thing to him and he’ll spend the next week with them pressed to his face whenever he’s alone, dick rutting into his hand messily. it’s subconscious but he also has a habit of stalking you around a little bit when he’s too nervous to actually talk to you but he swears it’s an accident!! he didn’t mean to learn your whole schedule it’s just that he sees you doing certain things more often!! he’s supposed to be on the other side of the city at that time for work?? you’re delusional, he was just… sent there for some sort of project, nothing weird at all he’d never!! huge whiner btw, babbles a lot when he’s finally fucking you.

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amuseoffyre · 6 months

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Have had a couple of days and a rewatch and some mulling to put together my thoughts:

The good:

the writing - I've talked at length about the use of metaphor, symbolism, allegory and the like to add meat and substance to the narrative

the continuity tied in to S1 and the foreshadowing coming full circle, plus running themes continuing

the music is flawless throughout - both the soundtrack with songs and the original score and the way old motifs are used to add parallels and depth to scenes

the acting across the board has been staggeringly good. Especially for Taika, Rhys and Con. I can see why so many reviews had been raving about it.

the bits of set-up for S3 that have been planted if/when they get it

new characters who are an absolute delight

Family Trauma the TV show - intense to watch but cathartic af

Badass ladies and the soft boys who love them

Auntie.

The bad:

too much story and not enough time to tell it

sacrificing a lot of crew-related stuff - I know this is primarily the Ed and Stede story, but we're told that Olu was always talking about Zheng, but we never even got a single line of it. Buttons' disappearance gets one sus line. We gloss over the probation and why Ed is back in his leathers literally the next day. Again, I know, time constraints, but it does feel weaker for it.

speedrunning so much that it's taken several rewatches to catch everything that's going on - yes, it can work as a narrative device, but not all the time

still not over Zheng falling for Ricky's gift. Do not trust the aristocratic white dude, especially not when you've been blackmailing him. And I know there's some logical sense to her being so used to being able to manipulate desperate people on the fringes with both carrot and stick, but it feels like severe underestimation on her part about how ruthless and cruel and petty Ricky could be. He's not like the pirates - he has the power and privilege and it feels like she ignored that.

whatever that Teal Oranges pivot was so Jim could have a girlfriend, especially since they didn't have time/space to actually develop the Olu/Zheng and Jim/Archie stuff. Archie was barely a scrape of characterisation because of time constraints.

The ... Forbs Boding

Izzy - it falls under the typical archetype of Loss of a Role Model especially given all Ed's dad issues, which I thought we were beyond, but then it also fits with the running motif of the show of change, death and rebirth. We've had confirmation of the existence of a place between life and death plus a character who was beaten to death coming back from it and a seawitch turning up at the grave. I can see why it was done as it has been foreshadowed since "the only retirement we get is death" but after all his growth in S2, having Ricky be the one to get the jump on him is... hm. I feel like they had him and Ricky talking and Ricky causing his death for a reason. Feels like there's set-up for S3 planted and ready. My Forbs, they are A-Boding. ffs, they Obi-Wanned him right after he did a speech about "our spirit will last beyond your whole fucking empire". Strike me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine vibes.

The way trauma is/isn't being dealt with - I feel like there's stuff there that is set up for S3 as well, because we've seen how Stede is still bottling all his stuff and hasn't dealt with any of it, while Ed has done some processing and started to make peace with himself over it. Stede still has his mental lockbox and while he tries to pretend it isn't there, it still informs so many of his decisions.

All the Star Wars vibes - I've always been convinced this was the Empire Strikes Back season and now, they have all the pieces in play for the Return of the Jedi arc: Stede and Ed are together and recovering but will have a role to play, Izzy is in carbonite with a seawitch control panel, their allies are out there getting pieces in place, and the Imperial figurehead villain who showed up in S2 is still out there and convinced he holds all the power. And I just realised that this means that if they use Hornigold, he's the equivalent of Boba Fett - Bounty Hunter for the Empire XD

On the whole, I am content with it and am already having thoughts about the potential for S3, but I find it incredibly frustrating knowing how much more it could have been with the budget/time they wanted and didn't get.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

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iamgodsoopsie · 4 months

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Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 1:

Part 2 link

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

He needs a LOT of love and patience. Which, frankly, many people don't have.

He's messy af. If "Damn bitch, you live like this?" was a person it'd be him. C-PTSD is a hell of a drug. I think he wants to be more organized and clean than he is, it's just going to be a looong process for his inside appearance to match his outside appearance. (His appearance may stay mostly the same or drastically change).

---Don't believe me? Just look at the outside of his tent: it's mostly organized and sophisticated, but the inside is messy and he sleeps on a plank of wood with a threadbare stained blanket.

He'll struggle with control issues rooted in his anxiety until he finds a way to channel that energy in to something productive and/or healthy.

---He'll veer between controlling micromanager (aggressive) and door mat (people pleasing/ passive) until he finds his (assertive) middle ground.

Anger issues ahoy! He went through "200 years of shit. PURE SHIT!" and had to dissociate/repress his feelings to 'survive'.

---Stabbing Cazador was cathartic, but it only released the surface level of his repressed rage.

-----An interesting line from the game that I haven't seen enough people talk about: When you tell Astarion to keep his cool when Cazador is goading him, Cazador scoffs and sarcastically asks Tav if they've witnessed his "fits of rage". (Of course a "fit of rage" to Cazador is probably Astaion having a slight frown when Cazador wants him to smile and be a pretty toy to show off.)

He will try to push you away and 'test' you to see if you stay consistent in respecting him and his boundaries. He needs to make sure you don't turn into a Cazador when you two are in an argument. He needs to be sure that his "No" is respected when in a steamy moment after a dry spell.

---This probably won't be as intense as it otherwise would've been because of what you two went through together, but he'll still do it.

-----He probably doesn't realize what he's doing, and when he does he'll shame spiral.

I hope you are prepared to patiently give lots of reassurance and affirmation about the same things over and over again.

---It'll sometimes seem as though he is seeking permission, but if you ever act as though you are giving him permission instead of affirmation/ reassurance he will become very defensive.

He's indecisive but unwilling to listen to your input.

---He went from 200 years of having no control or ability to make his own decisions to suddenly being free, he's going to feel overwhelmed.

-----He'll eventually realize that you have his best interest at heart and that you are not telling him what to do, you're offering suggestions to help him make an informed decision.

There's so much more but I'm tired. He'll eventually heal and live a happy and healthy life, but it'll be a bumpy road to get there.

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sitp-recs · 4 months

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HP Rec Fest, Day 17

It’s sad hours at @hprecfest! Or is it 😏 I trust there will be enough heartbreaking recs to keep us occupied this Christmas and I’m curious to see everyone’s picks, but I’ve struggled a bit with today’s prompt because I rarely cry with fic. For some reason it’s easier to make me cry with a happy yet tenderly devastating ending (hello Far From the Tree, ty for forever ruining me 🥹) than with a tradicional h/c or MCD tag. Taking my personal experience into account, I’ve decided that it made more sense to rec happy fics that got me so emotional I had to take a break and have a little cry, instead of unhappy fics that left me miserable and in pain. I hope that’s okay and that my choice to go for “tears of joy” will still resonate with others!

Day 17) a fic that made me cry:

Drarry

Life goes not backward by @shealwaysreads (T, 9k)

Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots. Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love.

one of my go-to comfort reads, the nut baby fic (affectionate) holds a special place in my heart. I was going through a rough time when I first read it and the experience was as magical as the fae magic in it. this is a tender and beautiful portrayal of mature, patient, healing love; Harry and Draco share so much trust and mutual understanding it’s impossible not to feel moved by their journey. there’s intimacy and affection every step of the way and somehow Bella was able to tell the love story of a lifetime within 10k and without ever making it feel rushed, boring or forced. the moment they name the 🥜 baby will stay forever imprinted in my mind as one of the most poignant and beautiful scenes I’ve ever read in fic 🥹

Rare pair

Black Forest by @ruinsplume and @saintgarbanzo (Sirius/Harry/Remus, E, 12k)

In which Harry has a nightmare (or says he does), Remus wants no part in this (until he does), and Sirius enjoys being the most functional person in the room (for once).

okay so I lied because a very small portion of the tears I shed with this story were actually joyful; most of it was angsty af, full of grief and sorrow and love for Harry. I don’t normally read this triad and the hot tenderness of it felt like a punch to the solar plexus; I went for the smutty smut and stayed for the catharsis (a trademark of both authors I should say) and it was brutal, unexpected and satisfying all at once. Harry’s broken pov is visceral and heart-wrenching and beautifully constructed, but beyond all the hurt there’s so much comfort in knowing that Sirius and (eventually) Remus figure out exactly what he needs *cries* i just want Harry to feel seen, safe and loved and few fics convinced me that’s what he got. this is one of them. I am a slut for fics that convey complex, nuanced character studies through (hothothot) smut and this fic does it brilliantly, it’s so cathartic and moving. healing sex doesn’t get any better than this!

#hprecfest2023 #day 17 #a fic that made me cry

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flowerpotmage · 1 year

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Okay I should be sleeping and im tired af but i am contemplating switch!Aemond

First just to clarify: when i say switch i mean dom/sub in a kink/bdsm context, not verse, which refers to giving(top)/receiving(bottom)

Okay, now that we're all on the same page, below the cut is my reasoning for switch Aemond

I think Aemond would be a switch. I think because he has a very complex life and complex trauma, he would find cathartic enjoyment in both sides of a kink dynamic no im not projecting why would you say that

I think because he has such a tight grip on his self control, and i imagine takes on a lot of responsibility, he would enjoy being able to let go, be submissive, be taken care of and not focus on regulating someone else the way doms need to do during a scene. Its been said before by plenty of sex workers that ppl in positions of extreme power and responsibility frequently come to them to be dominated, to experience a safe "loss of control," and i think this would be part of why aemond would, on occasion, be submissive in this way

On the other hand, i think he would find some great delight in dominating his partner in this context as well. Being trusted, for one, to keep his beloved safe in such a vulnerable state? Probably makes his heart melt. Additionally, i think that even though he does have a lot of responsibility, he probably rarely feels as though he has no real power, agency, or control in the grand scheme of his life, and that he would find a cathartic experience within domming because of this

I have theories on some potential kinks but thats for tomorrow thanks for coming to my ted talk

#aemond one eye my babygirl #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #hotd #nsft character analysis

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ghosts-cyphera · 6 months

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ok update and maybe final conclusion (VA fling thing). so. it’s 01:23am as I type this message, I’m not done with my project nor have I started working on the presentation thereof and I present at 8am. frankly I’ve been too stressed. I started wondering if something was wrong, message after message. finally, he replied. he said one of his friends are unwell and he’s stressing about them (probably BS) so then I asked him if he was okay. he replied with “👍”. LIKE WHAT THE FRICK LET ME STICK YOUR THUMB SOMEWHERE THE SON DOES NOT SHINE YOU SOB … so, then I asked him if there’s anything I could do for him and then I asked if he could send the photos he took of us Saturday night … I AM BLUE-TICKED AND THIS MF IS BUSY LIKING PHOTOS ON HIS SOCIALS OF HALF NUDE WOMEN LIKE DID I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?

the worst thing of all is I would forgive him if he just told me the truth … and maybe even worse than that is, I still really care about him. it’s going to be difficult to go from talking every day to I don’t know. why the f and how the f did I fall for a man 15 years my senior? damn Freud, damn dad bod, damn beard … I need one of those fights with him, those verbal ones like from the Marriage Story or whatever with Adam Driver - “EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD-“ just to get this frustration out my system. cathartic release.

that is all. thank you, lots of love 💗.

I MISSED THIS OMG NO HEYHIHELLO

part one to this ask -> here <- for those who are interested

first of all—how did things go with your presentation? I'm sending you so, so much love and hoping that you managed to either bring it home, or to play yourself a little more time with it. I'm so, so sorry for all the stress that this situation brought you. you did not deserve it, and like I said yesterday, absolutely none of this was your fault.

you're not silly for falling for a man 15 years older than you are. the shitty thing is that I think he knew that you would. he knew what to say and what to do to get you to like him. he has the experience, he has the looks, he has the hot af voice. he knew what he was doing, and it's only natural that you felt drawn to him.

it's also only natural that getting over him will take time and be painful. he sounds like one of those men who will shower you with affection and make you feel special, just to pull the rug out from under your feet when it's time to show any level of commitment or ability to communicate. having to suddenly exist without him right there making you feel like you deserve the stars and the moon... it's not easy. it's not silly to struggle with that.

I'm just so incredibly sorry.

I hope that you'll manage to find closure and to end things with him in a way that will feel satisfactory to you. if he's too immature for any of that, please allow yourself to scream into your pillow, to punch your mattress, to tear an unused notebook to pieces, or to squash a banana. anything to help you get rid of that built-up frustration and anger.

I'm sending you so freaking much love right now it's unreal. I hope at least some of it will reach its destination. 💗

#lo answers #baby boo bear

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crescent-lunatic-wolf · 7 months

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I don’t know what to call myself in relation to this otherkin/therian/alterhuman stuff. It’s still kinda new and scary TERRIFYING TBH. Half the reason I created this blog was to sort this out, though, so dammit if I’m not gonna try.

Once upon a time, I was a dumb kid with an extremely overactive animation. And I mean extreme. I had an imaginary friend that I could not get to ‘go away’ until i basically had an existential crisis and screamed at him.

Sorry, old buddy, but I was starting real school and I needed to at least look normal. Im sure you understand.

This was just the first of many incidents where I felt obligated to cynically crush my more outlandish thoughts into a ball and stuff them away in a corner forever.

Then later I figured out that I’m trans. A lot of things started to make much more sense after that: why I hated puberty so much, why I felt too ‘soft at heart’ compared to other ‘boys’, why I oh-so-despised how I looked…

That was over 8 years ago.

Now, much more recently, as in within the week at time of typing this, a bunch of old thought patterns kinda cropped up at once. I am certain that this had something to do with the recent super moon, though. I don’t know if it was something I subconsciously did to myself, or if talking about werewolves just unlocked the forbidden corners of my brain or what, but the thoughts are back and hoo boy.

When I was a younger, edgier, egg-ier teen, I loved werewolves, conceptually. The very concept of wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing except its more wolf-in-human-skin was, in a word, rad. I knew it was a mythological, fantastical concept (logically speaking, I still do), but oh my god how cool would it be to be that kinda monster?! I didn’t care how alienated it’d make me (though to be fair I was already kind of a weirdo outcast). Raw meat, hunting animals or even people by the full moon? Cathartic af. That sheer power, to be able to assume the form of a terror of nature, to be one with and at home with the moonlit wood… I would kill* for that level of freedom and… and…

*PAST tense, I’m not exactly a serial killer in the making here

What is that other feeling though? It was good, I know. Almost addictive. Satisfaction? Desire of some sort?

Whatever it was, it felt right. …and that’s exactly why I had to suppress it. I was only setting myself up for heartbreak by pouring my soul into this idea of being/becoming something that, by all means, doesn’t exist.

Once upon a time, I thought I’d never be a woman, either.

So fuck that noise. This werewolf-at-heart is back. I don’t care if its an unrealistic dream/goal/whatever-the-fuck, it makes me happy, dammit! Like on some kinda spiritual level or something.

So yeah. I think that makes me alterhuman, otherkin, and/or therian? I’m not 100% on the distinctions, but I want to find out. I can at least comfort in the knowledge that, clearly, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Hopefully at least some o’ y’all can accept me into the fold.

- C

#alterhuman #otherkin #therian #werewolf otherkin #werewolf therian #lycanthropy #lycanthrope #werewolfkin #coming out??#i don’t know how to tag this #bark bark

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castielscarma · 1 year

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Breaking cycles softly

Already from the beginning, there's this friction between John and Mary. He has the audacity to think he's gonna protect her from a life that she's been living forever and he's known for what... is it even a month? Dont avoid your issues, John. But that's easier said than done. Side note: I gotta say, I really enjoyed watching Drake play evil and possessed John. xD There are a lot of subtle things that remind me of Destiel. That barn made me think of them, especially with the added bonus of that hand print on the door that the soucouyant left. It's not a surprise that John's dad was abusive. It's this cyclical curse that affects not only John but his children and a curse that Dean broke. This is how it works in the SPN universe, Generational trauma and how it possesses you, only to ultimately destroy you. Because its legacy is so often death and violence and destruction of self. This is ironic because the person who has endured the trauma really wants to protect themself. But in doing so, only cause harm, to themselves and others. As Lata says as she bravely steps in front of John to protect him from getting shot (more so when she said earlier that she has nothing to offer, she's not a hunter, only the brains and in doing so questioned her worth in the group) she says: "More violence isn't the answer, not when you spent a lifetime with it, when it's touched everything you ever had", as she steps in front of John, shielding him. So yes, it's John who fights back but Mac (the possessor) realizes that truth and lets go, freeing both himself and John. In an earlier meta, I said that these episodes, the writing feels more hopeful, almost cathartic and I couldn't quite put my finger on why... I think it's this: Many of the conflicts are solved by acknowledging the pain the characters have and the wrongdoings they did (or that happened to them) in the past. When fellow hunter Tracy said she was sorry for what she did to Mac (for blowing up the cave with c4 and killing him) ... that she hadn't known how to help him, that's what finally made him let go. Not a gunshot to the head or a blade to the chest. Lata essentially said to Mac, that it's not too late and that he can break the cycle. She used her words and non-violence in an episode where she questioned her worth and value within the group as a non-hunter. And her strength and her bravery, her words saved them all affirming that there are more ways to fight than with guns and knives. We end with John being honest when pushed as he talks to Mary. He admits to her that what she said was true. That he had used her (and his concern for her safety) as an excuse to avoid his own problems. And later he goes to Lata to ask her how not to live with anger and violence. This all speaks of hope and love and trying to break free of damaging cycles and anger and the past. But I have to say. Although I really love it (and I do lol, it heals me) I'm still suspicious af. Is this really our world? How John is so willing to admit fault and growth is making me question again if this is the same world or timeline as the one where our Dean and Cas and Sam and Jack were in? Are TCF in the same world as TFW or... maybe in some parallel universe. I hope we'll get some definite answers. It's not something I'll really think too deeply about and write meta about but...that feeling won't leave me.

#spnwin 1x06 #my meta #john winchester #mary winchester #latika desai #breaking cycles #communication

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putellas14 · 2 years

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ah i love the level of chaos that just radiates from your blog, (even when i'm trying to eat my lunch and tumblr reloads to tell me about some uh, rather questionnable but chaotic injuries for a fic - yikes).

sorry i made you cry on your front lawn over my anxiety fic with Aitana by the way😓

It really has just spiralled into complete chaos here, hasn't it? I don't know whether to laugh or cry about it.

Oh gosh. I hope we aren't making you choke on your lunch with all this chaotic af injury talk. Some of it is...extreme. lol. Whoops.

(Re your fic: I loved crying on my front lawn because of your fic. It was cathartic given all the shit I've had going on lately.)

#ask

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borathae · 2 years

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Okay Sibi, I finally finished aaol and OH MY GOD I am in love.

Did I cry many many many times??

Yes.

But it was so cathartic and beautiful. Really that's the only word that I can think of to accurately describe the overall theme, it was absolutely beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the smut, (I did all kinds of appreciating if you catch my drift 😉) but the emotional aspect to this story was off the charts.

It was a little difficult for me to get through at first because Jungkook's mindset in the beginning is extremely similar to my own that I still struggle with. Reading things like this make me more aware of my own thoughts and it's hard to deal with if I'm not in a place to accept the reality of it. But honestly the way you wrote the whole process of their healing, individually and together, was so calming and healing in and of itself.

The smut however is a whole different story. You really gave me whiplash, like am I supposed to be crying and processing difficult emotions via an extremely empathic and odd parasocial relationship with these fic characters or should I be horny AF, frantically turning over my house to look for batteries for my vibrator??

Can we talk about the waxing scene because ???

"Wanna take revenge?" Like I'm sorry WHAT. Why is that so hot? He was like the perfect mix of kinky and sweet.

Seriously, God level top tier smut

A+

I genuinely used to think that I was depraved. Surely nobody else has these perverted thoughts, right? At least not ones as bad as mine.. but you. You prove me wrong time and time again.

I am blessed to have found this blog 💞

~🦇

*also I'd probably give my left leg for the Lucky to rail me, she was so hot for no reason.

This is so, so awesome to read :( omfmg thank you so, so much!! Aaaah I'm so happy that you loved aaol so much. Gosh, this story is my lil baby and it always makes me so happy to hear when people enjoyed it or when they had some sort of emotional reaction to it :(

Gosh thank you so much!! 🥺😭💜💗

ALSO OKAY LISTEN THE WAXING SCENE IS HAUNTING ME FNADFN 🥴 also fhahahhah honestly I take it as a compliment I am basically nothing but horny these days AHAHAHH 🥴💜

I am also blessed to have you as my reader! Seriously you are so precious to me, my sweetest bat 🥺💜💗

lmoaoa honestly aaol!OC could get it

#asks: aaol #asks #🦇 anon #when sad #reviews

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elmaxlys · 2 years

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i used to like the mortal instruments books (back when there were only 3 lol it’s been a goddamn while). then i watched the movie. then i watched a few episodes of the shadowhunters series because my friends with which i read these books and watched that movie told me it was nice too. but, see, when watching the series, all i want is to rewatch the movie (so i did lmao). curious to see if when/if i reread the 1st book i’m made to want to watch the movie as well or if it’ll make me want to stick to the book like so it so often happens.

see my problem with the shadowhunters series is that I’ve only watched 2 episodes, right. and in all that time, the movie told so much more things and so much better. and my main thoughts during the time i was watching was “i wish i were watching the movie instead”.

my other problem is that the shadowhunters characters are hm. idk. they don’t feel alive? they don’t feel like persons, unlike the movie imo. i’m sorry to say but so far they feel a tad like marvel characters (fake af. too.. idk. i want to say caricatural but i don’t think that’s the word i’m looking for. whatever.)

also jocelyn fighting with angelic weapons and stuff was nice but it was so much more cathartic to see her fight with. you know. what’s lying around in her house and beating that guy with her fridge door. now as i said i only read 3 of the books and pretty long ago so idk maybe the series’ more accurate on that part, but the movie is so much more entertaining to watch.

so far the only parts of the series i actually like and look forward to are luke, his demon investigation and magnus. because magnus seems radically different in one and in the other it’s actually pretty bonkers so i really want to see how he turns out lmao (like i know some stuff, another friend of mine back in the day showed me the wedding scene but that’s about all i know lol)

also now that i’ve just rewatched the movie, it’s clearer to me what felt wrong when i watched the series on top of the fakeass characters and pace not to my taste like. they didn’t put things in the right order? clary finds out about valentine being her father way too soon and with the silent brothers? they have no clue to go to magnus, then? and also the thing about dorothea/y (? i’m unclear how that name is written) being replaced by a demon right off the bat when clary returns home. like the part where she’s closer to the fray family than she is in the movie is actually nice but it disturbs me the most lmao

so yeah idk my conclusion is that if i watch the movie and it makes me want to read the book, it’s a bad adaptation. if i read the book and it makes me want to watch its adaptation then it’s probably not a very good book and/or a very good movie in itself. if i watch the series and it makes me want to watch the movie, the movie is amazing and/or the book sucks. i have practically no memory of the books apart from a few select scenes.

anyway it’s fucking 3am so i have no idea if any of this is coherent but yeah.

PS: the movie is instantly better than the series solely because jace’s hair

PPS: all these stranger things vecna or whatever his name gifsets i’ve seen around sure did help me want to rewatch the movie lmao

#3am thoughts #the mortal instruments

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 324: Is There a Force Field Around Him??

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal was all “please tell Midoriya that I spent a concerningly small amount of money upgrading U.A. into a wacky physics-defying funtime grid so as to make the final battle much more confusing for everyone.” Present Day!Mic (or Present!Mic, if you will) and Jeanist were all “if only somebody could deescalate this dangerously unhinged mob, we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” Ochako was all “LISTEN UP PEOPLE.” The mob was all, “god??” Ochako was all, “NO, IT’S ME, OCHAKO. I’M REALLY HIGH UP ON THIS BUILDING AND THE VISIBILITY IS LOW DUE TO THE RAIN, SO I CAN SEE HOW YOU MIGHT MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ANYWAYS, DEKU WAS OUT THERE RISKING HIS LIFE FOR YOU CLOWNS EVEN THOUGH HE’S JUST A KID, SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD ALL REMEMBER HOW TO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, THANKS.” Let’s see if her Big Scolding Energy has any impact.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so I have this speech planned out, and it’s really good, but it also only really needs about 6 to 8 pages, but I’m gonna see if I can stretch it out to 17 pages so I can kill time before we get to the next volume cliffhanger two weeks from now.” Anyway but it really is a good speech though. There are feels, and tears, and more talk about how Deku is so in need of a shower that just looking at him requires a tetanus booster, and more feels, and more tears, and bonus ship drama, and an iconic callback to the very first chapter which reframes the entire series in a new context in a totally epic and moving way, and it’s all very good. Except that Horikoshi is determined to never let anyone actually give this kid a hug. Who hurt you, dude.

omg we are opening on a callback to chapter 212, a.k.a. the chapter with by far the cutest flashback that doesn’t involve any baby Todorokis

baby Ochako is lethally cute. she could literally murder someone with her cuteness. I just want to scoop her up and play airplane with her until she accidentally activates her quirk while we’re spinning around and we both helicopter up into the air never to be seen again

“a child’s insistence” huh well that’s all well and good, but I sure hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to drag out the whole “sternly lecture the obnoxious citizens” plot for another whole chapter. no offense but I think we’re good

so page 2 is just continuing the whole happy/worried faces monologue, which of course is very important to Ochako’s character as it provides the context for why “who protects the heroes” ended up becoming her thing. and this is making me think we actually are in for a whole second chapter of this sob. when will my boy finally get to rest

OH MY GOD SUDDENLY THESE PEOPLE HAVE EYES IMAGINE THAT

HORIKOSHI: [reaches for a box of tissues while tearfully penning an homage to his beloved Spider-Man 2, specifically the train scene where the crowd sees Peter without his mask and they suddenly realize just how young he is]

HORIKOSHI’S HOMAGE SCENE: “COME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN FOR US TO PICK ON THIS TEN YEAR OLD KID WHO WEIGHS 75 POUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE HE LOST A FIGHT WITH SATAN’S MOLDY OLD BASEMENT”

lol at this one guy who can feel the mood of the crowd shifting and is all “WAIT, NO, I WANTED TO KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE DAMMIT”

as many pointed out last week, this man is wearing an All Might shirt. that’s some fantastic irony there

-- SDKFJWIGKS

“LITTLE GIRL, I HOPE YOU’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WALKING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A SOVIET-ERA BUS STOP.” heh. last week I said I was ashamed of BnHA being my favorite manga. that was a lie, actually

(ETA: in the original Japanese Ochako’s next two lines are basically “the only ones covered in mud will be us heroes!” followed by “please give us some time to get rid of the mud”, with that second line basically being the single funniest thing I’ve ever read rdslkjl. Ochako thank you so much for supporting my running gags. “YEAH WE KNOW HE’S DIRTY. WE ARE GONNA TRY AND CLEAN HIM UP, BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, I’M JUST SAYING. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASBESTOS COSPLAY.”)

doesn’t the megaphone kind of look ever so slightly like an axe that she’s wielding maniacally here

easy there Lizzie Borden

also that’s a really bold claim to make there. and not one she necessarily should have to make, either. but as we all know, there’s nothing that shounen manga likes more than having its heroes bravely hoist heavy burdens of responsibility like good self-sacrificing citizens

p.s. lowkey loving how Kacchan is positioned here standing slightly behind Deku. not presuming to stand in front of him all overprotectively (because he would hate if anyone ever did that to him), and kind of being unobtrusive and letting others take center stage -- but still being close enough to Deku that he can catch him if he stumbles or passes out again

(ETA: or maybe not lmao.

DEKU: [falls to his knees]

KACCHAN: [glancing up from his phone a few minutes later] “someone just sent me the stupidest meme about milk crates -- oh. uh. you good...?”

really, son. “the burdens you can’t carry, we’ll carry them for you. ...later, I mean. right now it’s late, and we’re all cold and wet.”)

also lowkey loving this OchaTsu moment here

I was going back and binging Ochako chapters this past week for reasons, and I gotta say it really stuck out to me just how often these two are paired with each other. they do everything together. it’s a really sweet friendship that often goes unappreciated but it’s very cute

meanwhile, not to be outdone by the OchaTsu, Iida is staring at Ochako with open admiration talking about how she’s fighting too. it’s been so long since we’ve had any IidaRaka you guys. I was starving and I didn’t even know it

oh my lord IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING

THE LIGHT IS BACK. he finally looks like him again. what a cathartic fucking moment omg

ffklkdw

“I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SCARED, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE DEFINITELY CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY AND WE ARE ALL SCARED TOO!” good pep talk there kiddo

BUT, jokes aside, truth be told this is the exact right approach to take imo, and something that’s long overdue. I’ve said this before, but this new generation of heroes is shaping up to be much more transparent than the All Might generation. they’re basically abandoning the almighty, untouchable Superman “heroes as gods” concept in favor of the more nuanced “heroes as people” concept instead. and that’s a good thing. seeing their heroes as humans, with human limitations and weaknesses and flaws, will hopefully not only lead to more scrutiny and accountability, but also more awareness of how hard some of them are working and how much they’re sacrificing. that’s something All Might never quite grasped back at the start of the series -- that the weak, vulnerable, injured him could be just as inspiring as the mighty, invincible him -- perhaps even more so. there’s a power in seeing otherwise ordinary people show extraordinary bravery and compassion. it inspires others to try and do the same

SSDLHK AIZAWA SIGHTING AAHHHHHH

so he was still back at the hospital this whole time?? smdh at this disrespect. that feeling when your sexy self-insert character’s powers of rationality are too strong, and so you have to nerf him so that he doesn’t ruin your Deku Angst arc twice over by (1) immediately talking some sense into Deku and making him come home Right This Instant Young Man, and (2) not allowing him to leave U.A. in the first fucking place. excuse me, you want to do WHAT now, Midoriya?? that’s it, go to your room

also living for Katsuki and Hawks’s soft expressions. Shouto’s too, although his is tinier and harder to see. and Jeanist’s 12-foot-long neck. imagine Jeanist’s head with Mic’s hair. maybe Jeanist had a mohawk back in the day and that’s why U.A.’s doors are so big now

speaking of soft faces, Enji’s is also excellent

what could this random close-up possibly imply?? hell if I know. but Horikoshi truly fears no discourse and that’s what I love about him

OMGGGG

“smh my child is so dumb.” poor Ochadad. your child is cute af count your blessings

SDOFFHSMH

I’m telling you guys. lethally, catastrophically cute

this speech is still ongoing lol. Horikoshi you’re doing so good but I think we get the point now my dude. you gotta learn how to transition out of these things

UNEXPECTED TOGA WHAT

“there we go” Horikoshi says, crossing off the last line on his list of Ochako ships. “that’s all of ‘em”

poor Ochako is just repeating the same “LET HIM REST, PLEASE, WITH EVERYONE’S COOPERATION, IF YOU DON’T MIND, WE APPRECIATE IT” talking points over and over again hoping someone will throw her a bone and acknowledge her already. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER

literally they’re all just staring up at her silently omg. work with me people!!

now she’s saying it for the 56th time but more dramatically all of a sudden

they got so dramatic that for a minute I thought she had suddenly leaped off the building or something

look, not to rush you or anything Horikoshi, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is yet another one of those “the volume is ending soon so I need to either hurry things up or slow things down in order to make sure we end it on my perfect cliffhanger ending” chapters where you go to ridiculous lengths to drag things out much to the exasperation of your week-to-week readers

(ETA: ftr, volume 31 ended on chapter 306, and I’m predicting that vol. 32 will end with chapter 316 (a.k.a. “you’re next!” [explodes]). I’m guessing vol. 33 will follow suit and likely end on chapter 326, so keep your eyes peeled for a big cliffhanger in two weeks’ time. Deku’s dad?? All Might in peril?? U.A. traitor at long fucking last?? we shall see.)

is Deku straight up falling in love with Ochako right on the spot lol what is happening

I know I just said that I enjoy when Horikoshi gives zero fucks about discourse, but shipping discourse is a whole different beast lol. I hope he’s prepared

(ETA: and for the record, I have no interest in shipping discourse either, as always. and I think this scene can be interpreted as platonic, tbh, with the context being that Ochako was literally introduced as someone who was willing to help him so casually without a second thought, and now here she is saving him again.

I don’t think it really fully hit Deku until this moment how much he needed saving. like I said in another meta somewhere, selflessness is basically just selfishness on behalf of others. and Deku is selfless to a fault, but that’s okay, and it doesn’t mean he needs to change -- he just needs friends who are willing to be be selfish on his behalf in turn. and I think the full emotion of what it means to have friends like that just hit him at last. everything his friends have done for him, how much he needed it and didn’t even realize, and how grateful he is. anyways what a terrible day for rain.)

-- son of a --

is he apologizing?? or pleading?? please tell me that’s not the case, because what the actual fuck. Deku you beautiful precious radiant selfless child, this is the exact opposite of how this should be. all these motherfuckers should be on their knees apologizing to you

DEKU WHY

I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS FREAKING BOMBARDMENT OF EMOTIONS GODDAMIT. OUT HERE ARMED WITH YOUR FREAKING TREBUCHET OF FEELS TO LAUNCH AT ME UNPROVOKED. WHAT’S WITH THAT

FREAKING CHRIST. THIS BOY IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND HORIKOSHI IS JUST ZOOMING IN WITH THE CAMERA, LIKE CAN WE JUST CUT HIM A BREAK ALREADY. ENOUGH OF THIS. HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE TRIES SO HARD AND I JUST NEED HIM TO FEEL SAFE, HORIKOSHI PLEASE CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT ALREADY WHAT IS THE FREAKING HOLD UP!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY!!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY PLEASE BE MY HUGGER BY PROXY!! SERIOUSLY GIRL IF YOU JUST HOLD YOUR UMBRELLA OVER HIM OR SOMETHING AND DON’T GO THE EXTRA MILE I’M ABOUT TO LODGE AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW

!!!!

A KOUTA IS GOOD TOO!!! oh my god if Kouta hugs him I will seriously 100% straight up cry. go on and test me

FOR THE LOVE OF --

is this man expressly forbidden from drawing hugs in his contract or something. DO YOU DO IT JUST TO SPITE ME?? this is tyranny, sir

AND I KNOW, THIS PAGE ACTUALLY CHALLENGED THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SERIES ITSELF, AND HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT HUGS, OR THE LACK THEREOF. “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes.” and just like that, he waves a polite middle finger at all of the Strongest Greatest Chosen One shounen protags of old, in favor of something much less conventional, much more interesting, and much more suited to Deku’s character. because if that one sentence doesn’t just sum up Deku to a T. he gladly relinquishes his Greatest Hero status in favor of acknowledging the hero in everyone. what a class act. that’s my protagonist

I love this kid so fucking much I swear. only just PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. GIVE HIM HIS HUG

#bnha 324 #uraraka ochako #midoriya izuku #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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sitp-recs · 1 year

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When I saw that Anti-romance/Heartbreak was the 2nd most voted option for a V Day rec list I couldn’t resist! I’m surprised that I came up with so many titles, as I don’t usually read unhappy endings. Or maybe - as I came to realize - I do read them, as long as they’re short enough to make me recover nice and quick 😂 I’ve got to be in a mood to dive into these but oh boy, do they hurt good. Darkness and heartbreak done right can be fascinating and cathartic in a very special way, and what better date to indulge than today?

Disclaimer: there’s no MCD or force majeure at work here. I specifically wanted fics that showcase heartbreak as the result of human action - flawed characters, bad choices, cruelty, messed up romance. Some are on the darker side, some are just angsty af, some include toxic relationships and fidelity issues. Please mind the tags and enjoy! Major thanks to @writcraft who brainstormed ideas with me and was especially invested in this theme, and to my dear pal @tackytigerfic who didn’t even think twice before selecting this option on the poll. This is for you both! <3

Scent Memory by bryoneybrynn (M, 755 words)

Draco's been away for five years but it wasn't long enough.

Nothing to Declare Here. by hephaestiions (T, 1.1k)

He shatters. You watch.

The love you no longer seek by @teacup-tai (M, 1.3k)

Harry’s smile is small and painful. His head lolls to the side to watch Draco with such deep emotion, such a turmoil, such confusion. “Come here,” Harry whispers, voice deep, palm turning up, hand reaching towards his husband.

Draco/Rest by @lol-zeitgeistic (E, 1.6k)

Harry’s estranged husband has never really been estranged to him.

Never Fall Apart by @writcraft (M, 2k)

The idea of having an open relationship seems like a good idea until they stop being open with one another.

Ties and Knots by @iero0 (G, 2k)

I’m not prepared for the way it makes me feel when I watch you across the room, or for the tenderness of your touch. I’m even less prepared to see you touch her the same way.

The Language of Power by Lokifan (E, 2.3k)

Harry loves talking in Parseltongue to Draco during sex: his response is just delicious.

cruel blade by @wheezykat (E, 2.5k)

Drowning in his grief after the murder of his husband, Draco will do anything to bring him back. But this is not Harry. This is something else entirely.

Buttercup by @tackytigerfic (E, 2.8k)

Scorpius shoulders his way through the crowd, making for the bar just behind Harry. He's waiting for something—anything—but it's still a delicious shock to feel Harry's fingers against the skin of his wrist, dipping maddeningly slow under the cuff of his robe.

Through His Teeth by @dictacontrion (M, 3k)

"C’mon then, Potter. Don’t tell me there’s nothing you’ve ever wanted to do to this body.”

Cigarettes Will Kill You by Femme (E, 4k)

He lights a cigarette across the pub, his hand cupped to his mouth as the tip sparks to life in a faint orange flare, and my breath catches.

Call Me Friend, But Keep Me Closer by @tackytigerfic (M, 4k)

"Neville Longbottom had always loved plants, but he loved Harry Potter more." Neville's got a good thing going with Harry... or so he thinks.

Magpie by @corvuscrowned (E, 4k)

Potter doesn't steal because he needs anything, Draco quickly learns. He doesn't do it because it makes him feel anything. It isn't about power, and it isn't about control. Potter just does it because he can.

Table Ten by @lower-east-side (E, 4k)

Harry loves working on Thursday nights.

The Quiver of a Heartstring by @tackytigerfic (E, 4k)

Draco Malfoy has been away for eight months and seventeen days, but now he's back, and Harry has never stopped wanting him.

Not That Kind of Lovers by alpha_exodus (M, 5.6k)

The only thing Draco knows is that at the end of this, one of them will be dead.

Dirge Without Music by @writcraft (E, 6k)

Albus is happy because everything seems to be coming together. He is captain of the Quidditch team and his father is getting married again – then one night the bottom falls out of his world.

fermata by onewhodiedyoung (M, 6.5k)

Or, Draco, after and before he forgot Harry, after and after he lost his mother.

Better Left Dead by @wellhalesbells (T, 6.6k)

A love story and a half.

Bitter. Sweet. Alive. by @gracerene (E, 6.7k)

Tomorrow, everything is going to change, but they still have tonight.

Epitaphs in Autographs by @vukovich (E, 7k)

A series of works surrounding death, imperfect relationships, flawed coping, and humanity.

Blame Is Shaped Like A Circle by @sleepstxtic-drarry and @gnarf (T, 7k)

Harry and Draco take you through the story of their life together.

The Way It Is by amalin (M, 7k)

‘Give it time,’ Hermione advised. Harry was draped atop the Potions book he was supposed to be reading, the instructions for Stinging Solution an ironically cool comfort against his cheek, her fingers carding gently through his hair. ‘It was just—you’ll feel better, in time.’

The Turquoise Cottage by deja_lu (M, 7.6k)

Draco Malfoy lives in a cottage. It's a very nice cottage. Every morning, she makes herself tea. The kettle is broken, so she boils the water in a pot. Then Harry Potter turns up.

hear me (with your whole body) by @teacup-tai (E, 9k)

It was a sexy idea, exploring other bodies with Draco, engaging in sex with other people to spice things up. Something inside of him was excited about the prospect, but the nagging fear, the feeling of abandonment that follows each image that pops in his head is throwing him off.

Saltwater Stain by @the-starryknight (M, 9k)

Seven days stuck on a boat investigating a rogue ghost wouldn't be so bad if Harry didn't want Draco so much. Draco has his rules and Harry's content to follow them, but the air feels different away from the shore.

The Disappearing Act by @corvuscrowned (M, 11k)

The only thing Potter is good at is disappearing from Draco's life. But Draco can't just stand by and watch the man destroy himself.

Closure is a state of mind by @quicksilvermaid (E, 12k)

After Harry's husband Charlie is killed, his Mind Healer recommends a Polyjuice therapy company, so Harry can see 'Charlie' again and find closure over his death.

The Eighth Tale by lettered (E, 12k)

Draco Malfoy tries to fix the past, but instead mucks it up some more. For Harry, it all becomes quite clear.

any day now by @oknowkiss (E, 17k)

Draco supposes he should be grateful. The rehabilitation centres were the Minister’s idea, or that’s what the Prophet said anyway.

I Love You by Curlee_Cue (M, 18k)

Harry knows what love is. It’s something that grows. Something that adapts. Something that sometimes needs a little help along the way. (or the one in which Harry loses his mind).

Collapse Amongst the Dying Stars by @writcraft (M, 26k)

After the final battle nothing is quite as Harry expected. Death Eaters remain unaccounted for, Malfoy is in prison and there is something rotten in Azkaban.

The Good Guys by Frayach (E, 26k)

When Draco Malfoy is captured red-handed trying to sell an illegal potion to a clerk at Borgin & Burkes, he is handed over to the Department of Essential and Necessary Truth’s newest interrogator.

Dreaming Darkly by @quicksilvermaid (E, 40k)

It's five years after the war, and Harry is not okay. He hates his job. He hates Robards. He hates Ron's promotions and Hermione's concern.

Absolution by sunnyeclipses (E, 63k)

At the mercy of his failing marriage, Harry only meant to use the potion once — to get Draco to listen. It’s not his fault that it works so well and that Draco’s just so easy to control.

#happy v day #drarry recs #heartbreak

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risjime · 3 years

Text

THE FEELING OF HIM

with: college!suna; gn!reader

content: fluffy af, mildly suggestive (not rlly but mentions sex), best friends to lovers, fwb to lovers, mutual pining

wc: 1.3k

a/n: idk how this ended up being so long lmao whoops,, I do hope you enjoy it though!

it was your first year at college. you ran through the halls of what was now the fifth building you’d checked for your first class. finally spotting the three digit number you memorized from your schedule, you rushed through the doors, hoping you’d make it just in time.

you didn’t make it very far though. as you walked in, you were stopped short by the presence of a tall, dark haired boy already being scolded by your statistics professor, who made a comment about your tardiness on top of his. after enduring your professors wrath, you hastily sat down in one of the far back rows of the room, losing sight of the boy who walked in before you. a few minutes after you settled, you heard a low voice behind you, “hey. I didn’t catch your name.” turning back, you came face to face with the boy again, who was slightly leaning in as he waited for your response. you hesitantly responded, earning a nod and his casual introduction. “cool, you can call me rin.”

you and rin grew inseparably close after that day. your gatherings were initially limited to the classes and lunches you shared, but when second semester rolled around, you’d began going over to each other’s places, hanging out outside of school, and eventually talking everyday without fail. you found yourself growing more comfortable with rin than you’d ever felt around anyone. he quickly became your closest friend.

it was one of the nights rin was sleeping over at your place. your roommate went home for the weekend, and you’d thought it’d be fun for the two of you to have a movie night — something you’d grown accustomed to. not even fifteen minutes in and the two of you found yourselves in a deep conversation, the movie nothing more than comforting noise background to the words of your best friend. you’d gotten to the topic of relationships and in your cathartic state, you’d express how touch starved you’d felt for the past few months. you didn’t intend to admit it, but rin immediately pulled you in for a hug without any questions. it was platonic. it was meant to be platonic...

but you found yourself enjoying his closeness in a way that was different. he found himself enjoying the heat radiating off your skin, wanting to feel more of it. you pulled away, hoping to escape what you decided was to be a one-time thought. but rin looked into your eyes, drowning you in the feeling of him.

and as he began to pull you closer, his eyes trained on your lips, you stopped listening to the voice of reason screaming inside. you let him kiss you. and you kissed him back.

his soft kisses grew needier as his movements grew bolder. he kissed along the trace of your collarbone, working his way around your body, aching to explore every foreign piece of you. and with every okay you gave him, every time you looked into his eyes with the same hunger he possessed, he found himself falling deeper.

it was the next morning, and when you woke up to an unusual emptiness beside you, you remembered the past nights events. rin always woke up after you when he slept over. and if for some reason he didn’t, he’d scroll through his phone waiting for you to wake up.

your worries were put to rest when you saw him walk in with apology pancakes.

apology pancakes became a tradition after the first time you and rin got into an argument. you decided to make him pancakes, knowing they were one of his favourite meals, and apologize to him the morning after your fight. since then, every time something went wrong in your friendship, apology pancakes came in order. it was a signal of peace. a reminder of how much one meant to the other. any mistakes were always forgiven.

“it doesn’t have to be weird.” he said, sitting next to you on the bed. “please, we don’t have to make what happened weird.” you nodded in agreement. and decidedly, things went back to normal. but it didn’t last very long.

naturally, there was a party the next weekend. rin asked if you’d wanted to go, mentioning the host’s house had a pool. he came to your apartment to pick you up, as he usually did when the two of you hung out.

it was the same as any other weekend. so why couldn’t he keep his eyes off you as he walking in your room, watching you finish the touch ups of your look? his eyes graced the trace of your figure and he couldn’t help the quiet “wow” that slipped out of his mouth.

when you looked at him, you found yourself thinking back to the night you shared. the same heat was present in his gaze. he couldn’t help himself, and neither could you.

you didn’t end up going to the party.

it became conventional that when either of you needed a quick fix, you’d call the other. your arrangement was nothing more than an extension to your friendship. you’d discussed the possibility but concluded your desire for each other was simply for sexual purposes. there was no romantic aspect in your relationship. and it was true. you both believed it was true.

it wasn’t until you noticed the changes. a few months into your “fwb” ordeal, and things were still going smoothly. except, the kisses were sweeter. rin’s touch was softer. you found yourself wanting to give him a quick kiss at the most random of times. your last thought at night, as you drifted to sleep would always be him, whether he was next to you or not. despite his own actions, you told yourself it was one-sided. you needed to get over it.

but rin noticed it too. he found himself wanting to spend the entire day with you, in favour of his usual alone time. he caught himself thinking about the way your lips felt on his neck, and how it was his favourite feeling. when he was with you, his hands found themselves rushing to your hair, wanting to hold you closer to him, instead of their usual path to your thighs.

it was another movie night. you both sat comfortably on his living room couch, watching a comedy you’ve both seen one too many times. your head rested on his shoulder as you laughed softly at the tv. you felt him pull you closer, which usually meant one thing.

“I thought we were just chilling tonight?” you looked up to him, wondering if he changed his mind.

“can’t I just hold you?” he defended, with a little too much sincerity.

“yeah I guess..” you trailed off, not wanting to begin an argument. but after couple minutes, the bitter thoughts still plagued your mind.

“actually no. you can’t.”

he raised his brow in confusion, prodding you to explain.

“you can’t just hold me like that. because that’s not what we are. and we can’t be that-“

“why not?”

you looked up at him in shock. he knew why. your friendship was more important than the risk. why was he playing dumb?

“look.. I know we’ve been scared to explore whatever this is between us. but I can’t pretend that I don’t think about you every minute of the day. and when I see you, it’s like nothing else matters, because I get to spend the time with you, my favourite person. I know that we’re both scared a relationship will ruin our friendship, but our friendship hasn’t been the same ever since that first night. and I don’t regret a minute of it, because falling in love with you, has made every moment of doubt worth the idea of being loved by you.”

you felt every fear you developed over the past few months dissipate with his words. you eased yourself once again in the feeling of him, in a way that felt new, and trusting.

it was the day you admitted to yourself that it was okay to love your best friend, no matter how much you wanted to tell yourself otherwise. it was the day you allowed yourself to be loved by rin.

#suna #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna rintarō #haikyuu suna #suna x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #suna rinataro x reader #ris suna #suna oneshot #✦ ris writes

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