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#is it a drabble at this point???
alovesongshewrote · 2 years
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Too Weird to Die | The Lost Boys x Reader HCs
Plot:  a monster hunter half adopts the Frog brothers and then avoids being murdered by vampires by being too weird to die. more at 8. [The Lost Boys x GN!Reader]
Word count:  2,873
Warnings:  murder, comedic violence, so much swearing that i'm putting it in the warnings
A/N: holy fuck i can't believe i wrote this lmaoooo. i might re-visit the concept, but for now, this is good
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So all this shit starts a few years before the Emersons move to Santa Carla
You stop by the town on a visit because 
Y’know 
It’s a murder capital, who doesn’t stop at murder capitals for tourist reasons?
In all seriousness, you’re there because of all the suspicious murders
As a full time professional monster hunter, you know something is up, and you want to see if you can do anything about it
And you both can and can’t
At the time, you don’t find much evidence of actual monster activity 
Either because the titular lost boys are taking a break from murder for the month, or because they Know Something’s Up and they want to be Careful
BUT
YOU DO FIND SOMETHING
And that something is two dipshit (affectionate) amateur vampire hunters who are just raring to get themselves murdered horribly 
They followed you into an alley and threatened to stake you
It sounds bad, but keep in mind, they were like
Eleven
At the time
They were little
And they were so full of rage that you literally laughed at them for five minutes
AND YOU FELT BAD, BUT ALSO
IT WAS LIKE BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT BY PUPPIES 
You just couldn’t take them seriously 
However, the world you live in is a dangerous one, and those two dumbass kids were lucky that they threatened you, and not someone or something that wouldn’t have any objections to beating up literal children
So what you do is you take those little shits
And you train them up a little bit
Not enough to be actively dangerous
But enough so that they don’t get murdered
And that’s how you become the adopted older sibling to the Frog brothers
You didn’t have a choice in that, they hit you with the metaphorical adoption papers and you couldn’t do anything but go, “ok”
But you don’t mind too much
They’re you’re little bros
They’re so irritating, and if anything happened to them you’d kill everyone in santa carla and then yourself
Anyway
You leave santa carla for a bit, because, y’know, the murders stopped as soon as you got there
You’re away for a few months
And then bada bing bada boom, shit starts up again and you make your return
This time, you find the source of the problem, but you don’t realize they’re vampires for like, a solid minute
For the first few months, you genuinely think david and his gang are just
Annoying 
The first time you met them, david monologued for so long that you zoned out and started focusing on their jackets
You came to the conclusion that they all had dope jackets
And then you got bored and tried to leave
Which david wasn’t crazy about
So he told the boys to grab you and, well
Long story short, Marko got punched in the face
Rip marko
After that, the boys decided they were going to eat you
Because you don’t mess with them and get away with it!
So, they follow you around santa carla for A While
And at first it’s scary, because y’know
You’re being followed
But after some time you figure they aren’t actually going to do anything
So you’re more irritated than afraid
Aaaand they don’t try anything in all of that time because for one thing, they can never seem to find you when you’re on your own
And for another, every time they approach you as a group you let out a Very Loud Groan that informs everyone nearby of your location
So killing you would be too sus
Also, you don’t tell the frogs you’re being followed
Because they would probably try to murder your stalkers?
And like
You don’t need these fuckin kids going down on attempted murder charges, they’re too young for that shit
So
The cat and mouse game is just between you and the boys
And it’s at a stalemate 
For a While
Until they get the idea to approach you individually 
David is technically the first one to try it, though that’s more of an accident than anything else
The rest of the boys are off doing their own thing when David catches sight of you
He makes his approach 
All suave and cool 
Annnnnnd to make another long story short, he gets pushed into the ocean.
Oops.
Paul is the next one to try it
He heard about you pushing david into the ocean and he went :0
Like, that legitimately kind of sounds like a good time to him
Also, he kind of wants you dead!
But they all do, so
Anyway
He makes his approach
And you see him coming
And you just so happen to be drinking out of a glass bottle, so you chug the rest of your drink and shatter the bottom of the bottle in the minute it takes him to get to you
In retaliation, and also because breaking glass bottles is now a dick measuring contest
He picks up a bottle and tries to shatter it
It Does Not Go Well
Poor thing gets glass everywhere and like
You can’t help but laugh at him
AND AGAIN, YOU FEEL BAD
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE POUTS A LITTLE BIT, LIKE A KICKED PUPPY
AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KICKED A PUPPY
So you walk over and you go
“Ok, if you promise not to stab me, I’ll show you how to break a glass bottle properly.”
And like
He already knows how to break a glass bottle
He just fucked it up that time
But he lets you teach him anyway
And it’s totally to earn your trust so he can eat you
It absolutely doesn’t have anything to do with the way he really likes the sound of your laugh
Nope
Not at all
He gets back to the cave later, and he successfully spoke to you, but he didn’t successfully kill you, so everyone’s kinda pissed at him except for star and laddie
And david’s pissed that paul didn’t get thrown into the ocean, but oh well
The next boy to approach you is dwayne
And honestly, he doesn’t really approach you with intent
It just kind of happens
But when it does, he also doesn’t get thrown into the ocean
He encounters you in a bookstore on the boardwalk
And at first you don’t notice him
You’re too busy reading something that looks like a bodice ripper, but it has tentacles on the cover????
And even if he had thought of picking you up and carrying you off somewhere to kill you, he gets way too fucking distracted by that thing
Eventually you notice him standing there and you just
Throw the book
You yeet it off behind you and you go
“OH, HI, HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?  IT’S DWAYNE, RIGHT?  NICE JACKET, YOU AREN’T WEARING A SHIRT, OKAY, BYE.”
And then you go to fucking run out of the store
Because jesus christ, your one night without the frogs for you to partake in your Adult Life and one of the fucking BIKE BOYS shows up 
FUCK
Anyway, dwayne manages to grab you before you can leave
And he doesn’t get punched unlike poor marko
No, you’re too embarrassed for that
And it only gets worse for you when dwayne starts asking questions
You answer
Because you have no idea what else you can do
And this motherfucker seems to be getting a kick out of your discomfort 
He’s got this SMIRK on his face
Like he likes watching you squirm
Like he thinks it’s cute (he does)
You hate it
You like it
After what feels like an eternity of questioning, he does take pity on you
He buys you a drink and, instead of murdering you, he answers your questions
And you get close to figuring out that he’s a vampire 
But not quite :/
Oh well
Dwayne goes back to the cave, and everyone is like, “jfc, why is this little shit so unkillable?”
No one has answers, but dwayne does have a weird lump in his jacket pocket, and when he checks to see what it is, he sees the very tip of a tentacle before he SHOVES THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM WITH 0 MERCY
He has no fucking clue how you got that book onto his person without him noticing
But he respects it
Anyway, they send marko after you next
Because you punched him, and he hates you
Don’t worry about it too much though, because his opinion changes in like
Ten minutes
He follows you into like
A thrift store 
And once you realize you’re being followed you go, “oh hey, it’s you, with the cool jacket, sorry i punched you that one time, but to be fair, you did grab me, so”
And then you hand him a little bag of cool buttons that you found on a shelf 
And you say, with a very sweet and genuine smile
“These match your jacket!”
And all he can think is,
“Oh, so that’s why you’re still alive, okay”
Needless to say, he returns home having not murdered you, and david is Unamused 
You wounded his pride and punched his friend, he Does Not Like you
And then one night you run into him outside of the video store
And he already looks grumpy 
But then he sees you, and it just gets worse
Ironically
He tells you to buzz off that time
Which you don’t fucking do, because this bitch and his friends stalked you for A Time
And even though you’ve made friends with most of your stalkers, you’re still not gonna let this one go
And that’s like
Literally what you tell him
It makes him roll his eyes and fantasize about pushing you into the ocean
But then you go quiet 
And for a few minutes, the two of you just
Stand outside of the video store, leaning against the wall together
In the middle of the noise and excitement of the boardwalk, the two of you are calm and quiet 
And then you go
“Hey, do you ever realize that you have free will, and if you wanted to, you could just throw eggs at your fridge?”
And he goes
“Why the fuck would anyone want to do that”
To which you respond
“To test out their free will.”
You bounce off the wall and hold a hand out to him
“Come on.”
He asks where you’re going and you just 
Look at him
With the most devilish smile that vampire has ever seen
And you go
“To get some eggs.”
And while you’re doing that, you learn that david is so grumpy because his father (he does air quotes when he says the word father) is being very very unreasonable and also possibly indulging in mild child endangerment 
And like
David isn’t a kid, but it’s still endangering family
And that pisses you off
So as you’re leaving the boardwalk’s convenience store
You basically say
“Do you want me to kill that guy for you?  Because it sounds like he sucks, and I’ll totally kill that guy for you”
And to his own surprise, David finds himself saying no
Because if you tried to murder max, you would die- or at least he thinks you would
And oddly enough, he doesn’t want that for you
And he, too, realizes why no one’s killed you yet
And then you just cement it by grabbing the eggs and going, “Come on, let’s test our free will”
Is it immature to throw eggs at the video store?
Absolutely
But fuck it, you have free will
Or maybe you’ve just been hanging around the frogs too much
SPEAKING OF WHICH 
IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT TO MENTION
THAT THIS WHOLE TIME
You’ve been going back to the frog brothers’ comic book store every night
Just to check on them, make sure they aren’t dead
Bc, y’know, santa carla, murder capital
And every time you come into the store after an encounter with one of the Boys, you have this weird smile on your face
Of course, they think it might be vampires.
And after you come back from the video store, they bring this up with you
One of them has a stake in his hand, and they go
“You’ve been weird lately, and we think it’s vampires.  Do you want us to kill the vampires for you?  Because it sounds like they suck, and we’ll totally kill those vampires for you”
So clearly, threatening violence is how all frogs, adopted or otherwise, express their love
Anyway, you just go
“Jesus christ, you know there’s more out there than just vampires, right?  Also, no, I’m not being weird because of vampires, I’m being weird because I found charming people in santa carla of all places.  Imagine that.”
And then the next week you find out the boys are vampires
You stop by the cave, and at this point they’ve given up on eating you, but it’s just so clear, and you are
Filled With Regret
In part because Holy Shit Your Brothers Were Right
But also because you’re probably going to have to kill the boys??
And oddly enough
You Don’t Want To Kill The Boys???
They went from stalkers to sweethearts and you’re mad about it
So of course, upon figuring it out
(they don’t tell you, by the way, you figure it out thanks to the smell of death, the sharp teeth, the Single Bed for four men, a little boy, and poor fucking star, and the poorly hidden dead body in their cave)
Anyway, upon figuring it out
You take the most rational route:
You get marko in a chokehold and hold a stake to his chest
Poor marko, he always gets the short end of the stick
Anyway
The boys all lose their shit
Which is
Fair
To them it looks like you pulled of their plan- you charmed them, and now you’re going to kill them, or at least try to
But before they can, y’know, rip your head off of your shoulders
You go
“WAIT!  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, here’s the thing.  I!  Don’t want to kill Marko!  And hey, I’ve lived this long, so I assume you don’t want to kill me.  So, let’s make a deal.  We don’t kill each other, and everyone lives.  Sound good?”
Once they agree, you let marko go
And y’know what, because i think he deserves it
He punches you
And you can’t even be mad at that, you just threatened his life
But alas, that’s not where it ends
Because you’ve got a clause to add to your little agreement 
“Wait,” you say, mildly out of breath from the punching, “You can’t kill me, and I’ve got two little brothers you can’t kill either.  Their parents run that comic book store, the one on the boardwalk?  And they’re off limits.”
The boys sigh and nod, but jesus christ do you have more to say
“They also might try to kill you?  You don’t have to worry about it or anything, they’re like, twelve.”
The boys are not twelve at this point, but that’s how old they’re going to be to you forever
You’re never going to be able to see them as anything other than actual babies because that’s how siblings work
Anyway, you continue
“I’m working on getting them to be less murder-y, but they are very blood thirsty for their age.  I’m sure you can relate.”
Yeahhhh, no one laughs at that joke but you
But it’s okay
The agreement is made
You and the frog brothers are off limits in terms of murder
And you Don’t to tell the frogs about this because they would Attempt To Murder Your Vampires, and that’s not what you want
And in the same vein 
The boys don’t breathe a word of this to max
Because he would order them to turn you and your brothers
Or worse!
He would order them to kill you and your brothers
And they Do Not Want that
AND IN A SIMILAR YET DIFFERENT VEIN
THEY CANNOT LEAVE YOU ALONE AROUND MAX
IN FACT, I DON’T THINK THEY EVER TELL YOU THAT HE’S THEIR SIRE
You just think he’s david’s dad, and you don’t ask questions, because they don’t answer your questions, because if you knew what kind of power max had over them, and how easy it would be to abuse that power, you would try to kill max
Because murder is the love language of the frogs.
Anyway, they’re pretty sure that you would get yourself killed if you tried to fight max
And you’re 100% sure that the frogs would get themselves killed if they tried to fight the boys
That or they might actually hurt one of the boys
You did train them a bit, so they aren’t totally incompetent 
And the whole thing is just a messy web 
It’s an endless game where the only goal is to try and keep the people you care about from killing each other while the people you care about try to keep you from killing the people they hate
It’s
Complicated 
But hey, when you practice delinquency with your boys
Any of your boys
That shit’s fuckin worth it
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zephyrchama · 3 months
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It was dinnertime in the House of Lamentation. Conversation petered out as everyone focused on the hot food in front of them, leaving a quiet lull interrupted only by clinking silverware.
“I’ve always wanted a traditional church wedding,” you said, entirely unprompted.
The clinking came to a stop as the seven brothers processed what you had just said. They turned their eyes towards you.
Beelzebub was the first to break the silence despite his mouth full of food. “Huh?”
“I just always thought it would be nice. A quaint wedding in a nice little church. Maybe a chapel.”
Leviathan briefly choked on what he was chewing.
“Oh I totally get it!” Asmodeus empathized. “Rows of pews with white flowers, those high arched ceilings, the evening light of the human world sun shining on us through a beautiful stained glass window as we kiss? Oh!” He clutched his shoulders, “it gives me chills just imagining it!”
“Asmo, we can’t enter churches,” Satan stated matter-of-factly. The knife handle gripped in his fist started to bend.
“Hah!? What? Lucifer, is that true?” Mammon slammed his fork down and just about jumped out of his chair as he shouted at the oldest.
“Sit down, Mammon.” Lucifer rubbed his temple and tried to perform damage control before the inevitable headache set in. “What brought this on suddenly?” he asked you.
Keeping a straight face was immensely difficult but you pulled it off. “I was just thinking about weddings and stuff, y’know. It’d be nice. Ever since I was little I thought a church wed-”
Belphegor interjected with “You’re not even that religious.”
A flood of complaints washed over the table as everyone started loudly protesting.
“You… You’re not allowed to get married anywhere without me!” Leviathan shouted.
“Does it have to be a church? What about a restaurant instead?” Beel suggested, looking worried. “I know a lot of pretty ones.”
“We could build a mock church in a studio and get married there,” Asmo fantasized. “The stained glass could be you and me as cherubs, we can ask Luke to be the flower boy. He’d be so cute in a little tux!”
“You wouldn’t even need a ceremony with me,” Belphegor said. “If you really want one, we can have it outdoors under the stars.”
Satan’s knife was bent at a 90-degree angle. “What a stupid thing to say. Libraries are just as quiet and nice as churches. Probably. They sure suit you better than a church.” 
“The restaurants also have in-house catering,” Beel continued.
“That ain’t gonna happen!” Mammon bounced his knee, shaking the entire table as he lamented, “I ain’t lettin’ my human get married in some church! We can go anywhere you want! Anywhere else!”
”There’s a church in my game!” Leviathan gasped. He thought an in-game wedding would be just as good as a real one. “I can show you! We can go now! Lets make you a character!”
Lucifer cleared his throat once. Then twice. The third time was a warning that got lost amid all of the whining. “Enough,” he finally growled. The room went silent for him. “You’re not getting married in a church. End of discussion.”
“Oh.” Weird of him to decide that on his own, but you were at your limit. A wide grin had already spread across your face. “Yeah, ok. By the way this roast you made is delicious.”
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essektheylyss · 23 days
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Fearne had, in true Fearne fashion, wrapped herself like a personal pashmina around Dorian, which left Orym to curl into his chest.
They had slept this way dozens of times before. Fearne’s blackened fingers wrapped tightly around his forearm as she snored loudly into Dorian’s ear. Orym’s head rested on Dorian’s bicep, his arms folded together between them, and his bare feet were gingerly resting upon Dorian’s thighs just above the knees, as Dorian had coiled enough to let Fearne’s fuzzy leg stretch over his hip. They were exhausted, and this was familiar, and he should’ve been fast asleep.
But Orym’s mind buzzed.
Fearne had always been a strong source of heat, but now she was a furnace, and even without covers it was too warm. But Fearne was not the reason why Orym’s skin burned where it met Dorian’s.
He was a fucking grown man. He was fully capable of admitting that.
Admitting it didn’t change it.
Neither did it change his awareness that Dorian had been too still for the past hour, his breath too precise and measured to be natural as it fell upon Orym’s hair. Orym was not going to presume that the cause of this was the same thing afflicting him; there were plenty of other reasons Dorian would be lying awake tonight.
“My family will find your brother,” he murmured finally, and Dorian’s breath wavered for just an instant before he regained his composure and returned to his measured, singer’s breathing. It was so slight that no one else could’ve noticed it, but Orym noticed. “You said there’s a body— the Tempest can bring him back, or Fearne, honestly—“
“I know,” Dorian answered, and this too was so faint that no one but Orym could’ve heard. “I know,” he said again, as though this one was only to appease himself.
“Do you think… do you think any of Opal is still in there?”
“I don’t know. I could barely tell what was in there—“ he cut himself off. “I couldn’t even help my brother. I think Fy’ra Rai might’ve… she must’ve seen something. I hope so,” he added, inhaling, trying to capture an airy tone that he didn’t fully manage. “The Spider Queen doesn’t deserve her. She doesn’t deserve anything.”
Orym had nothing to say to this. He hadn’t cared what the gods did or didn’t deserve in weeks, but now he could see the vein of fury that sharpened Dorian’s edges. It didn’t frighten him the way it had frightened him months ago, when things had been simpler, when there was not a war to be fought. It simply saddened him. “I’m so sorry about Opal,” he said, after the silence had lingered. “But I’m,” he breathed out a single dark laugh at himself, his selfishness, “I’m real glad it wasn’t you.”
Dorian’s laugh matched his own. “I suppose that is a silver lining.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Orym admitted. It was easier to keep his voice from cracking at a whisper. “I’ve thought about seeing you again so many times— I wish the circumstances were better—“
“I’m here,” Dorian said, for the second time today. “The circumstances tried very hard to make even that impossible, but— I’m here.”
Orym pulled his arm gently out of Fearne’s grasp and raised his hand to Dorian’s cheek. It was too dark to see the tinge of lavender against his skin, but Orym could feel the warmth bloom beneath his fingers. He still couldn’t bring himself to attribute his friend’s insomnia to anything so self-serving as his own, but perhaps it was one factor.
He pulled his hand back. Was there a flash of disappointment in Dorian’s eyes? He couldn’t tell in the dark. But he brushed his fingers together, drawing upon the wellspring of life within the ground beneath this hastily-erected encampment. The Hellcatch looked like a barren wasteland to most, but that life was still present even here.
Perhaps not now, but after a rainy season, the valley would bloom with wildflowers. The seeds waited in the earth for their time to sprout. Life went on, even in the darkest of places.
He produced a small stalk of life from his hands, and held out the tiny bundle of forget-me-nots to Dorian.
He should’ve said that they were for Cyrus, to remember him by. He wanted to say that they were for Dorian himself, that a day hadn’t gone by that he hadn’t thought of him. He didn’t speak at all as Dorian’s hand wrapped around Orym’s, pinching the stem beneath his fingers but not letting go.
“Orym,” Dorian breathed, looking from the flowers to his face. Then a strange expression came over his face, a wrinkle of consternation as he stared into the middle distance. “Fearne, are you braiding my hair?”
Orym lifted his head an inch to peer past Dorian’s ear. He had noticed that the snoring had stopped, but he’d been too caught up in the conversation to process it. Fearne’s wide eyes stared back with perfect innocence, her hands indeed weaving Dorian’s hair into a loose braid.
“Just pretend I’m not here,” she whispered quickly. “I’m totally not here.”
When Orym dropped his head back to Dorian’s arm, he was met with a crooked smile. It was not meant to be disarming, but it disarmed him anyway.
“Just like old times, eh?” he said, but his hand was still around Orym’s.
Carefully, Orym moved to tuck the flower behind Dorian’s ear, bringing both of their hands with him, and then laced their fingers together instead. “No,” he said, and tucked his head so that his brow rested against Dorian’s chin, and pressed their entwined hands to his lips. “But I think that’s okay.”
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ellabsbb · 9 months
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<3 abby is the type of gf to open a jar for you even when you’re mad at each-other
🫙🥒
◦ imagine you guys got into a argument for whatever reason and are now giving eachother the silent treatment
◦ it’s so childish and silly, refusing to leave the same room yet acting as if the other doesn’t exist pls
◦ lets say you’re trying to open a jar of pickles (those big fat dill ones that aren’t sliced just bc they’re my fav)
◦ and you already know from past experience there’s no way in hell you can open that jar
◦yet you’re stubborn about it, really trying, refusing to ask abby like you’ve done every other time
◦ you get into it, making little puffing noises, getting flushed from exertion, hurting your hands
◦abby’s sitting close by just frowing at your back. she knows you’ll keep going until you break the jar or something
◦ so while doing so you don’t hear abby come up beside you, looking down at you like 🫥
◦ she just. holds her hand out without a word, letting you decide if you want her help or not (but is it rlly a choice if you can’t open it without her)
◦ you let out a quite little sigh before handing her the jar also without a word, not even looking at her
◦ and you definitely don’t pout at how quickly and easily she gets it open
◦ like seriously? you were slaving over it for 5 minutes
◦ she offers the jar to you and you take it, turning your back on her and placing it on the counter
◦ she bites the inside of her cheek but says nothing, heading back into the dining room, until a gentle tug on her arm stops her
◦ she turns back around to see you offering her a pickle in your outreached hand, one already shoved in ur mouth, the jar reclosed on the counter (much less tighter then it was before, probably barely closed tbh)
◦ and when she takes your offering she definitely doesn’t have to hold back a amused grin at the way you still refuse to look at her, cheeks warming in embarrassment
◦ she takes a bite, making sure it makes a obnoxious loud crunch sound, and then quickly leans down to kiss your cheek with pickle juice wet lips
◦ “abs, that’s gross…” you whine lowly, dragging out the s, pouting up at her while wiping your cheek with the hem of your shirt
◦ “aww, sorry baby” she mocks your pout and whiney voice back to you, using her own hand to rub ur cheek with a playful eyeroll
◦ you take a bite and quickly place your own pickle scented kiss on her chin before ducking under her arm and scurrying away with a giggle
◦abby chuckles to herself and follows after you <3
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starrystevie · 10 months
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steve who got a lower back tattoo on a drunken dare in his late 20s and forgets it's there most of the time. steve who stretches one night at a party and his shirt rides up exposing the swirling lines that peek out from under his belt line. steve who doesn't think anything of it and forgets to pull his shirt back down as he leans forward on the couch while talking with the group, basking in the welcomed burn of a certain pair of eyes locked on him.
eddie who's sitting next to him, gripping the back of the couch cushion where his arm is slung around his long term crush like it's the only tether he has to planet earth because not only does steve have a tattoo, but it's right there. eddie who takes in a shuddering breath and can't pull his gaze away from the ink that spreads low over tanned skin that he longs to explore. eddie who digs his other hand into his knee to keep it from doing anything stupid like running his fingers over the tattoo or pulling steve up to go to the spare bedroom.
steve who shoots frozen-in-place eddie a knowing smirk after a few seconds as he leans over even further before standing up and holding out his hand in invitation anyway. eddie who finds out later in the night that he doesn't have to wonder what the tattoo feels like under his fingers for much longer.
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writtenbymoonflower · 5 months
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Mean Messages
Your family is mean to you and Remus is protective. blunt!remus x shy!reader, fem!reader, somewhat modern au
cw: mentions of toxic family/verbal abuse. A few swear words, self deprecating thoughts.
1.3k words
He hadn’t meant to see the text, honestly. He was just borrowing your phone to look something up when the text had flashed across the screen. 
At first he was confused, forgetting it wasn’t his phone he was holding, wondering if he had changed his parents name in his phone to a different honorific than usual and forgotten. Secondly, the content of the message confused him. It was aggressive, surprisingly cruel, and downright insulting. 
Then his confusion morphed into upset, when he realized it was you who was receiving the text. It was somehow more offensive knowing that someone was talking to his girl like that. His heart flared and ached to know that his sensitive dove had to read things like this, especially when you cared so much what family thought and how all you wanted was for them to love you. He didn’t know how to respond. 
Part of him wanted to answer the text himself and give your family member a piece of his mind. Another wanted to delete the message so you would never have to read such mean words. Most of all he wanted to tuck you into his chest and keep you away from all the bad things that could hurt you. He didn’t have time to settle on a response before you came back into the room. 
“Hey Rem, can I see my phone? I think Marlene was going to send me something funny she saw.” You pressed a kiss to his fluffy, mousey brown hair before reaching for the device. Remus just handed the phone over, deciding it was best to just let you read the text so he could be there when it makes you sad. You held the phone, still smiling brightly as you pulled up your messages from Marlene. You giggled as you looked at the video she had sent. Then, he saw a few more taps of your fingers before your face fell. 
“I think someone else messaged you too, I saw a text flash up while I was searching for that thing.” He could see the panic flash in your eyes at the thought that he had seen the text.
“Did you read it?” You asked nervously, looking down at your socked feet. Remus decided to just put you out of your misery and talk about it. You didn’t always let him into your mind as much as he would like, maybe he could start to change that by taking the lead. 
“Yeah dovey, I did.” He gave you a sad smile, emotion swimming in his honey colored eyes. 
“Oh…” You trailed off. You didn’t know what to think. A small part of you was happy, as much at it ashamed you. Happy that he had this peek into your pain that you didn’t have to go through actually telling him. That maybe he could fix it and you wouldn’t even have to ask. But mostly you were worried. Worried about him asking questions and aggravating recently scabbed wounds by talking about it. You also worried about his opinions on the sender. Sure, you had your own issues with your family, but it seemed like when other people found out what your family was like they said all these scary things. They would mention words like toxic, cruel, unhealthy, manipulative.
Sure, those words sounded right. It made sense in your brain. Part of you even felt relieved when other people took issue with your family, like they were affirming all the pain and tears shed over their words and actions.
But the little “what if?” in your brain told you that maybe your family was right. Maybe you’ve tricked yourself and everyone around you into thinking you’re good. 
What if Remus read the message and agreed? 
What if he is about to tell you that all the things your family says about you are true. That you’ll never be good enough, that you’re a disappointment to everyone around you. You’re a burden on everyone and-
“I can hear your mind going a mile a minute, sweet thing.” He was looking at you with all the tenderness in the world. Remus thought you looked like a kicked puppy, all sad and reserved. He was trying to keep calm but his anger was brewing. No one had the right to talk to his girl like that.
He beckoned you over to sit on the couch next to him “What made them say that to you?” He asked gently. 
“I don’t even know anymore. We were just talking and then it turned.” You stared down at the phone in your hands, eyes scanning the text over and over again. 
“Well, my opinion biased by you being my girlfriend,” He smiled at you, leaning down to meet your eye line. “But, I think that if they can’t get their feelings across without being horrible to you, then maybe you shouldn’t take their feelings to heart, yeah?” He continued to scan your face, looking for emotion. 
“Maybe.” You acknowledged his sweetness a little, though only for his benefit. Either way, he seemed happy at that. “But they do love me, you know? At least they say they do. And they’ve known me my whole life. It’s at least true to them.”
“Maybe.” Remus forced out, barely even wanting to entertain the thought that the rude message had any basis in reality. “But maybe they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Or it’s easier to blame their shit on you than to do the work themselves.” He said the whole response in an even tone but the bluntness caught you off guard. Your eyes widened in shock. 
“Remus, it’s not that simple. They wouldn’t be so upset if I didn’t do something.” You tried to keep your voice from quivering, still doing everything in your power to not keep his gaze. 
“Maybe you did do something. But who’s to say it was wrong? Really think to yourself. Dovey, when you think of nice people, people you want to be, is it them? Would you send a message like that to someone? Someone who just wants to show you love? Because I know that’s all you want. You’re always trying to appease them and do right by your family. But you can’t spend your life begging for love from people who don’t have any to give. You aren’t responsible for them not being able to love healthily.” 
Something in his words made you start to break down. Your face scrunched up awfully and your throat was clogged with emotion. Remus wasted no time pulling you into his side. 
“Just because they’re related to you doesn’t mean they get to treat you like that. Sometimes, when someone speaks to you like that, it says far more about them than it does about you. I think-” He paused, searching for the right words. “I think, from what you’ve told me, they have a lot of pain. And I think that they need a way to feel better, a way to feel big, and they don’t know how to without making someone feel worse. I’m sorry they’re taking it out on you, baby. You don’t deserve that.” He punctuated his point by pressing kisses all over the top of your head. You breathed out shakily. 
“Thank you.” You whispered. If Remus wasn’t so close he might not have heard it. 
“You don’t have to thank me, sweet girl.” He was being extra mushy with you today, you could tell. It was funny, his sweetness felt so foreign. Almost unsettling. Though in the time you’ve been dating you’ve grown used to his small signs of affection, Remus could tell that you hadn’t grown up with many kind people, so he went out of his norm to be as adoring as you deserved in his mind. 
“You’re being very sweet considering how blunt you were a few seconds ago.” You chuckled wetly. 
“It’s the duality of manhood, dovey. And besides, I’m only this sweet on people who deserve it.” He pulled your cheek to his curled up lips so he could cover more sweetness over the side of your face. You could both worry about the text later, he needed to chase out all the nasty thoughts first.
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kianely · 6 months
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okok hear me out ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝
being needy and riding re6 leon’s thigh and he starts sweetly mocking you for being so pent up and vocal even though he hasn’t even really touched you at all
i’m not usually this horny but :( next time i’ll send some fluff into your askbox
Omg anon I’m hearing you out, you got me thinking about this…just imagine how much muscle his thighs have 😵‍💫 I wrote a little gender neutral drabble on this under the cut I hope that’s okay
Thank you for sending an ask I love interaction AHH
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“That’s it,” his murmurs fan against the sensitive skin of your ear, and they turn your brain into mush with each syllable that emits from his lips. “You’re so loud I wouldn’t be surprised if we get a noise complaint.”
Your pajama pants are discarded somewhere on the floor of your shared living room as you rut against him. Leon has been so busy that you couldn’t help but pounce on him when he got some free time, scrambling over to him as soon as he sat down on the couch.
The scent of his cologne and pheromones fills your senses, a combination that makes you press your face against the crook of his neck in an attempt to get more.
And you’re so noisy—grunts and whimpers spilling from you with each roll of your hips against his thigh. The rough fabric of his denim jeans against the flimsier and thinner fabric of your underwear (which are pretty wet with your arousal, dampening up Leon's pants as well) has you rolling your eyes back.
“Don’t even need to lift a damn finger. Love me so much I bet you could come untouched.”
Surely he wouldn’t be that mean, right? Though…you could definitely come untouched. Hell, you gushed at the mere sound of his raspy morning voice; you got all excited whenever you got a peek of his happy trail.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you, sweetheart?” God, his voice is gravelly. His hand slides up to rest against the arch of your back. “You’re soaking my pants just from dry humping me like a damn dog.”
“Leon—“ you want to protest against those words, you feel a little bit embarrassed (and very turned on) and in turn, you dig your nails into his shoulder blades. He cuts you off with a low rumble of laughter, catching onto your embarrassment and pressing a kiss against your temple.
“Bet you’d grind against my leg if I put you on your knees, hm? Poor baby can’t even go a day without being all over me.” He brings his hand to your jaw, cradles it, and brings you in for a kiss. It drowns out the loudness of your drunken sounding noises. His stubble brushes against your chin, and he gently pats his fingers against your cheek.
“You can be my sweet lap dog and keep me warm all day. What do you think?”
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landosjpg · 1 month
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thinking about lando giving head and the feeling is way too much so you squirm and accidentally squish your thighs against his head, all while trying to pry him away but he’s persistent so he’ll do whatever he can to hold you down just so he can finish
+18 CONTENT, MINORS DNI
this was one of the first things i read when i opened my eyes this morning and it hasn’t left my head since then please
in my head he’s also more of a giver than a receiver (😵‍💫) so he would love to go down on your for hours BUT not let you come until he’s satisfied. so at some point you would be too overstimulated, eyes teary and limbs shaking, that your legs close on him and your fingers, lost in his hair, tug on his curls earning a groan from him. at first he doesn’t notice that you’re trying to push him away, but when you keep trying to squirm away he laughs at your antics, cause you know he’s not gonna stop until he’s had enough of you. but the thing here is he doesn’t have to do much to hold you down, you know? cause he’s strong enough to keep you still just with his palm pressing down on your lower stomach to keep your hips in place while his other hand grips your thigh to keep your legs open for him. and then he slows down his movements and sucks on your clit so painfully slow that you can’t help but sob, making him grin. and he always revels in the oh so sweet sounds that you make for him that he can’t just let you finish yet so he keeps eating you out slowly, even dragging two of his fingers in and out of you at the same torturing pace until you’re pathetically begging for him to let you cum.
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cod-dump · 6 months
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Soap who made too much food with not enough dishes: I NEED A MAN WITH A EMPTY STOMACH! GHOST! HELP!
Ghost ran in there, saw the food that couldn’t be saved for later, and went ‘bet’. He ate it all, too. It unnerves Soap. Where does he put it all?
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youmakemyhearthowl · 2 years
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Steve hasn’t cried yet. 
He hasn’t really done much of anything besides sit by Eddie or Max’s hospital bedside and watch over them as much as he can, alternating rooms every few hours. 
Dustin hasn’t stopped crying. Tears streaming freely down his face as he walks into Eddies room. The kind of silent crying that you don’t really even register until you’re looking at the person. He’s got a stack of books in his hands holding out The Hobbit  to Steve with a silent question passing between them. Steve smiles, soft and sad and settles into the chair more comfortably as Dustin takes his place on the other side of Eddie’s bed.
As soon as Steve opens the book he stiffens a little, remembering how hard words were to read, how the letters looked off and he had to concentrate hard enough on them that it would give him headaches. Robin said it was called dyslexia. Steve hadn’t told anyone about it. 
The reading is slow going but Dustin doesn't point it out, until Steve gets stuck on a word and his fingers tighten on the book, the pages crumpling slightly under his fingers.
“Hey man, careful with the book its Eddie’s.” Its not mean, the way Dustin says it, but Steve feels his entire body go cold.
He just wanted to read Eddie his favorite book in hope he woke up. He just wanted Max to be okay. He just wanted them to both wake up.
Steve doesn't even realize he’s crying until a tear hits the page under him, he’s still trying to read but its even harder now.
The sob kinda rips its way out of him, as he throws the book away from himself.
“Fuck. Jesus fucking..” 
Steve hasn’t cried since everything's happened, but he sobs now, whole body shaking, head falling into his crossed arms on Eddies bedside. Dustin acts quickly, skittering over to Steve and only hesitating briefly before throwing his arms around his sudo brother.
“I just wanted to read him his stupid nerd book, and I can’t even do that right. He deserves to listen to his stupid book.” Steve heaves out leaning into Dustin. He’s mortified he’s breaking down, and even more mortified it’s in front of Dustin of all people, Steve's supposed to be strong for him. But Dustin just squeezes him tighter “I don’t even know what Morder is.” 
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thevibrationofatoms · 10 months
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Personal pet peeve: adaptations where Ariadne is scared or freaked out the first time she sees Dionysus' madness. I mean for one it feels kinda weird and gross but also you think Dionysus wouldn't marry someone who was 1000% down with all his faces?? you think the Lady who danced in the minotaurs labyrinth wouldn't be able to handle her hot malewife husband who goes feral every now and again??? boring!! it's just boring!
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metalhoops · 11 months
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Inspired by this post
Steve had watched the world end a hundred different ways. He’d lived the same day more times than he could count, watching the people he loved die or feeling himself die. There were things worse than death. There were memories he didn’t dredge up for fear of calling them into the waking world.
He'd held onto hope for the first twenty recurrent days, which had dwindled to a sense of steely determination until he’d lost count of the days. Then all that was left was the comfort of repetition. He was Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, day in and day out. Steve kept trying and failing to save Eddie until it was all he knew.
Maybe he was Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods and spent his life paying for it, tied to a rock while birds picked at his liver, only for it to grow back with each morning. Prometheus whose name, by definition, means forethought; one’s ability to consider possible futures. Steve had spent a small lifetime considering futures. It wasn’t a comparison he would’ve made on his own. That was Eddie, who’d spent his childhood with his head in thick tomes of fantasy and mythology.
Eddie Munson came to him like cheap furniture, in crudely disassembled pieces that Steve had been working tirelessly to put together. Each new loop brought him another piece of Eddie. His favourite colour was blue. He only woke up early on weekends to watch cartoons. He liked too much cream in his coffee.
The Eddie that existed in a world where Steve stayed with him and Dustin during the swarm of bats had told Steve his biggest dream was to make enough money to buy Uncle Wayne a proper home. His biggest fear was that when he died, no one would remember him.
Days or months later, with Steve repeating the same damn day, he’d finally learnt why Eddie’s love for his uncle ran so deep. Wayne had taken him in before his dad went to jail when the man caught Eddie holding another boy’s hand. In that world, Steve had stayed with Eddie in the RV as the rest of the group searched War Zone.  
Eddie’s mother died when he was six. He’d told Steve that later, or earlier. Steve had and has lost his sense of past and present. Eddie loved his mother deeply, though was unsure if that love had been misplaced. He recalled two mothers, one who read him bedtime stories and threw herself around the kitchen each morning with her wild theatrics and another mother who was distant and whose temper could turn on a dime. Eddie wasn’t sure which of those mothers was his and which was the mother of memory. All good storytellers know the story shapes itself in the retelling. Eddie’s mother was Janus, god of duality.
Steve understood. He loved and hated his parents. These feelings weren’t mutually exclusive. Steve loved Eddie because he’d spent the last hundred-odd days getting to know him, but Steve hated Eddie because he kept dying. Until he didn’t.
The boys lay side by side in the red-blue soil of The Upside Down, their bleeding sides caked with mud and demonic bat viscera. In the end, Steve wasn’t sure what’d done it. It’d been so long since he’d lived Eddie’s original death that it’d been smeared by the haze of memory and conjecture. All he knew was that a sea of bats lay dead around them and that it was over. Finally, over.
Steve removed his hand from where it was pressed into his side and extended it to ensnare Eddie’s. He felt muscles tug and tear from the walls of his ribs with the effort. Blood flowed freely from the cavity, but Steve didn’t care. He wanted to hold Eddie’s hand. Holy shit, they’d done it.
Somewhere along the way, Steve had fallen in love. It’d taken him ten more iterations to reconcile with the fact he could not only like a man but love him.  That was months ago, in Steve’s time. It was old news. “Steve, you still with me?” Eddie asked, his voice horse.
He was hurt, though not as badly as Steve. All his wounds were superficial. He’d be okay. Steve had been so sick of watching Eddie die, he’d been willing to put his body on the line to make sure it didn’t happen again.
In this loop, he was still ‘Steve’, not ‘Stevie’. They hadn’t grown close enough yet. Eddie only called him ‘sweetheart�� in the iterations where they kissed. Steve wanted to kiss him, but there was the taste of iron in his mouth.
“I’m okay,” Steve insisted, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He felt a sharp pain shoot through his side as Eddie pressed his hand into Steve’s wound.
“Christ, there’s a lot of blood,” Eddie muttered to himself. 
He was bad with blood. He’d scraped his knee down to the bone when he was seven and ever since, the sight of gore made him queasy. Steve wasn’t meant to know that yet. In this iteration, he hadn’t told Eddie about the loop. He’d tried before, but it never helped.
Pain and blood loss drag Steve down into a familiar oblivion. He expected to wake at the beginning of the loop, emerging in The Upside Down from Lover’s Lake, but instead, he found himself in a hospital room with Eddie in a bed by his side. It was late, too late for visitors, but Eddie wasn’t sleeping. His eyes were trained on Steve, equal parts concerned and curious.
“You scared the shit out of me,” Eddie confessed, as Steve’s eyes met his. 
Steve wanted to cry or scream. He wanted to untangle himself from the knot of cords and tubes to crawl beside Eddie in bed as they had curled up together in the back of the RV dozens of times before. He needed to hold Eddie to know he was alive, to understand he wasn’t going anywhere. Steve blinked away tears, balling his hands into fists. He didn’t want to scare Eddie.
“I scared you?” Steve choked out a mixture between a laugh and a sob.
Eddie didn’t know what to do. He never knew what to do when people cried. Steve learned that in the iteration where they’d lost Dustin. He didn’t want to think about it.  
“You almost died, man,” Eddie explained.
He somehow understood Steve wanted him closer. Eddie got out of bed, clutching his I.V. drip as he flopped into the chair by Steve’s bedside. He wanted to hold Eddie’s hand again, but he was out of excuses. He could tell him the truth, but he didn’t know what good it would do.
Steve was still used to thinking of possible futures. He was Prometheus who, unlike Sisyphus, escaped his torment. Steve wondered what happened to Prometheus after he was rescued. Did he return to a normal life? Does anyone bother to ask? Prometheus’ story is always about punishment. Afterwards, he was a footnote in the story of Hercules, but once the heroes leave the story, what’s left?
Eddie would know the answer, but it wasn’t a conversation he’d had with this Eddie. That Eddie was dead. This Eddie was and wasn’t him. This Eddie was Janus, god of abstract duality, god of beginnings and ends, god of life and death.
“Sorry my lame-ass face is the first one you had to see. Robin and the kids were in here all day. Wheeler left flowers,” Eddie tacked on awkwardly.
This Eddie didn’t know Steve. They were strangers. Of course, things were awkward. He couldn’t know he was the one person Steve wanted to see more than anything.
“No, Ed’s—.” Slip of the tongue.
“Eddie. I’m really glad you’re here, man.”
They were back to square one, but Steve could work with that. He’d been working with that for months. This time, Eddie would remember. This time, they had the luxury of taking things slow.
“One thing’s been bugging me all day,” Steve began.
After hundreds of days of getting to know Eddie, Steve had learnt a few shortcuts, a few ways to jump-start his way into Eddie’s heart.
“Can you explain what the hell Mordor is?”
It was a tried-and-true method. By that point, Steve knew Eddie’s response off by heart, but he wanted to hear him say it. Eddie gave him the same perplexed look he always did when Steve asked. It was as though Eddie thought he knew too much like there was some secret he wasn’t letting him in on, but he didn’t challenge Steve on it. He never did.
“Harrington, have you heard of Lord of the Rings?” Yes.
“No.” A million times.
“Tell me about it.”
Read Part 2 Here
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Considering Hunter probably took a pretty long while before he ever carved Waffles, there stands reason to believe that he and Luz just like. Shared custody of Stringbean. Realistically he probably shared palismen with all of his friends but Luz has little sister rights and therefore they can and would battle over her like an xbox. Every single time Hunter has flyer derby going on he snatches up Stringbean because Camila said it was his turn. This is a near-daily struggle.
Occasionally Stringbean will actively choose who she gets to hang out with that day. Neither Hunter nor Luz argue when she does this because Word Of Stringbean™ is law above all else and the winner is very smug about it.
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intotheseas · 3 months
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Ominis: Now, are you going to be part of the problem, or part of the solutio-
Sebastian: Oh, the problem, definitely.
Ominis: Th - that was rhetorical, you-
MC: I have some ideas on how to make the problem even funnier than it already is. ✨
Ominis: ....
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scribbledghost · 7 months
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That 'fuck me like you own me' line in the nsfw HCs gets me sooo good!! And saying it back to him- oh my GOD can you imagine? Your legs would be jello the next day holy hell.....
.....but he's cute so it's fine
Your legs would absolutely be jello the next morning. And if they're not, then he's not done.
I'd like to imagine he said it to you a few days prior. You hadn't really... discussed it afterward. No real need to. Simon Riley does not say things he does not mean (to you, anyway), and you know that. So there wasn't really anything more to say on the matter.
But then, later on, when he's got you beneath him and you can tell he's close to the edge, you say it back to him.
"Come on, Simon," you purr into his ear, "fuck me like you own me."
He stops stone cold with a strangled groan as he presses his face into your neck, and for a second you think that maybe he's passed out.
The feral look he gives you after a few seconds tells you otherwise.
"Say it again," he commands in a low growl. You comply without hesitation. His chest rumbles as he heaves a breath, eyes trained on you with pupils blown.
Your night just got considerably longer.
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akicult · 1 year
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contains ; domesticity. bf!suguru. suggestive themes. modern / college au. geto wants you to be his housewife basically. just a short drabble. mostly fluff.
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just thinking about college bf!suguru that didn’t realize he was a domestic person until he met you.
he’s still young, only in his third year at university and he’s still deciding on what his near future will look like. he’s had his fair share of girlfriends, and little hookups, and to be quite frank—he didn’t think he was done either.
how was he supposed to know the first night he met you, bent over his backseat, was about to be the start of the most serious relationship he’d ever have.
that night started the first of many, slowly realizing he was only asking to hookup just because he wanted to see you. how he’d send a pickup text, with a frown on his cheeks because he thought you were only in it for that reason.
and when he finally swallowed his stubbornness, he was met with the most amazing two years of his life, stuck with you by his side.
college bf!suguru who, until he met you, hardly even dreamt about a future where the love of his life would carry his child in her arms, kissing his cheek and brewing a cup of coffee for the two of them to share in the morning.
he didn’t even care to imagine what that future would be like, what the woman would look like. it didn’t feel achievable, or even desirable until he fell in love with you.
and it was a random realization, but looking back on it—it was building. slowly.
weeks and weeks spent of you just pampering him, praising him, for even the most average things. like, getting an amazing score on an exam, and all you had to do was say, “aw! good job, baby!” before he was putty in your fingertips.
his room is all messy, deep dark circles under his eyes. it was procrastination’s fault—his fingers hurt from typing on his computer all day thanks to waiting until hours before a huge essay was due.
you offered to leave his apartment, to give him the concentration he needs to get it finished, but he was ushering a “no, no stay,” because he honestly didn’t want you to leave. so you stayed, situating yourself in the other room, occasionally popping in to check up on him—and eventually lay on his bed after he insists you to.
it’s only when he finally finishes—8 hours later and it’s already nighttime. his shoulders are slouched, his back is stiff and he’s walking out of his room with his closed computer weighing by his side.
and you’re still there.
not only are you still there, but you’re washing his dishes.
hair clipped back, sweatshirt engulfing your body and sweats tightly tied around your waist. you’re humming along to some music that plays over a speaker—quiet but loud enough to know what song is playing.
you look so utterly homey.
so…domestic.
like you’ve settled into your personal home after a long day at work, just blissfully scrubbing away on glossy white dishes that were previously eaten on. your clothes acknowledge that you’re comfortable, uncaring of what he sees you in.
although it’s not just the fact that you’re dressed like that—it’s the fact that you’re cleaning his things.
cleaning a mess you didn’t even make, just out of the kindness in your heart that’s making geto’s throat close and his palms sweaty. he’s in absolute awe that he doesn’t realize you’ve noticed his presence until you’re turning to face him.
“oh! did you finish?” you ask, turning the water off and rushing towards him.
he’s blinking, nodding slowly. “yeah—just submitted it.”
“yay! ‘m so proud of you!” you grin, lacing your fingers behind the back of his neck and pulling him in for a chaste kiss like you always do—but it feels so much different this time.
like you’re congratulating him on a big promotion, tugging on his work tie and kissing him until he’s forgetting his own name.
he feels like his ring finger is so cold, and there’s a missing heavy weight that’s never even been there in the first place.
like he’s an idiot for not tying you down on the spot—wrapping vows and vows around the two of you until you’re barely mobile.
and he wants to be your doting husband for the rest of his life. he wants to walk through his front door every evening with an awaiting kiss to his cheek, and a home-cooked meal fresh in his senses.
he wants to go to sleep with you in his arms every night, mumbling sweet ‘i love you’’s after flickering off the bedside lamp.
and maybe, just maybe one day, he wants to hear the gentle pitter patter of two little feet charging down the hallway.
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this is accidentally freud coded (emphasis on accidentally)
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