#is this what relaxing feels like? ;w;

[cloudsrust]

Finally a bit of free time- can finally indulge in re-searching weird bugs to satisfy my obsession for the lil' critters <3

#the cloud can speak oh boi #bugs mention #finding out about new species of bugs it's so fun- so many lil guys that are just walking around being lil weirdos #that alongside the re-awakening for my Hollow Knight's love because of the vocalized mod is really helping me fight off exhaustion #spent the morning trying to figure out if Quirrel would work more as a pillbug or a cricket- decided on the latter #and now I'm just vibing with some designs for my headcanons while I wait for a group call #is this what relaxing feels like? ;w; #plus I want to incorporate bugs in the next class project we gotta do so that's ✨EXCITING✨ #more excuses for me to research interesting arthropods ohoh #My free time has now completely been filled with bugs- spiders and tarantulas.. oh and sometimes P.Layton just pops up lmao

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

can you draw L and Light doing work together I think it'd be cute and relaxing

L says the overhead lights stay off

#ask #death note #light yagami #l lawliet #lawlight #maybe #i've been having fun w perspective lately just freehanding it seeing what happens it's nostalgic to me bc i used to draw a lot of #houses n shit bc geometric shapes and different perspectives are very relaxing to draw for me #did a very dark color palette bc i have been going crazy wild with color palettes lately (they are coming soon) idk something in my #head clicked and i have just been a color understander i've pulled color palettes out of thin air and they work it's wild and very fun but #wanted to do smth more low-key bc i drew this in the middle of the night for one and also blue greys are some of my fav colors #for sketching and i didn't feel like lining and finishing this for realsies #ah just realized i forgor their handcuffs oops i am not going back to fix that

[unexpectedbrickattack]

more big fp doodles; i keep drawing him so goopy and angry but i prommy he is such a sweetpea; i am just putting him through the horrors too.

very short readmore for anyone whos nosy heehee

hes very similar to peppino, as in, hes prone to being self destructive when stressed. hes melty bc his small lil core is working overtime to move and fight w this doughy body, and its making him burn out.

the fp on the left is how vigi finds him post boss fight. the ones on the right are what peppino sees during the boss fight. the butcher knife one is for funsies

hell bite himself like peppino does, but he isnt coded with the hard limits of pain most creatures have. so he will keep biting and yanking until bits of dough are ripped out. itll 'regrow' but it takes a while. also pictured is him trying to pull at his jaw (it can snap off with enough force which is at best, extremely unpleasant for him)

hes just Some Dude; he wants to cook and hang out with people. hes a bit weird, but earnest. hes like peppino but he isnt. big. a bit silly. scary w a knife. etc.

#arts #mine #fake peppino #hes a creepy lil guy #but i like to think it is bc peppino has the capacity to be so scary and violent when pushed into a corner #he is LITERALLY a boar to me..... #fp is just like #what if peppino couldnt feel pain? if u scared him or hurt him bad enough how would he deal w that #and the answer is bash ur skull in but with fp that is actually possible #but just like peppino he just wants to chill and relax #he just wants to make tasty pizzas and be chatty w customers #pizzahead is so lucky thats all either of them wants LMAO

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[buneok]

im actually rly proud of this,, ik it’s a simple lil drawing but i rly like this style and this is what i want my art to consistently look like what do y’all think

#ik im not very consistent w my art style #but i barely started seriously drawing last year so i try not to be so hard on myself #BUT YK I LIKE THIS #i just need to Try to be more consistent and put out some good stuff #instead of yk half assed doodles #and maybe branch out regarding what i draw cuz #part of me cringes at myself for drawing so much sdv/sve like woah relax… #the hyperfixation is hyperfixating #but i dont feel that way towards other ppl who have dedicated blogs to sdv IT’S JUST WHEN I DO IT LMAO #yea But anwyays… #one goal i have for myself is to do some kinda art trade #i think it’d be fun if artists and writers did art trades w each other i dont think i’ve ever seen that but im sure someones thought of it

[samarecharm]

Would love to explore some more shu/ake dynamics bc theyre both so interesting to me. Interesting as in they would not be in a traditional relationship; theyd be so incredibly dysfunctional it would genuinely get either of them killed if they were to attempt something prior to the end of base game. Goro is angry and volatile and full of self righteousness, but he is incredibly depressed and miserable and full of self loathing. Hes someone who has been alone for most of his life, and has an incredibly complex relationship with his public facing persona and his goals; he is not ready for someone who will make him challenge his worldview at every chance they can. He refuses to be patronized but he needs someone who will be gentle and understanding. And hell never get that in a normal way bc he views someone being gentle with him as patronizing 😭

So he needs someone who will actively call him out on his bullshit, on his self loathing, and his attitude. But he also needs someone who will be patient with him and remind him that he IS worth something, that hes NOT a failure (hello??? ‘Im…special?’’youre more than special dude’ it was so easy for the thieves to get to him by just validating the work he did, and the trouble hes caused them lol). Akira CAN do this, but i think, w the way ive characterized him, he is just as angry and volatile as Goro, and he wouldnt know how to diffuse their arguments in a productive way. It would be catastrophic as Akira tries to show that he fucking CARES, and goes blind w rage as Goro consistently taunts and defies him and ignores his logic. And Goro would spiral trying to rationalize Akiras behavior as anything other than Good; the assumption that he must be lying and trying to manipulate him would eat at him until hes forced to storm out.

Anyway. All of this to say that shu/ake TO ME is “akira and ryuji are dating, and sometimes goro is there in the background looking like this 👇🏾”

#chattin #that last addition is a joke but also its not #like genuinely the only way i can see goro being happy and behaving himself is if he has ryuji there too #and like. ryuji cares. alot. he cares sm about everyone . hes got a BIGASS HEART #<- blatant ryugoro apologist here #so its not exactly a polycule; but it is a friends w benefits adjacent thing #like a qpr with him. do u feel me? #the timeline for all my au stuff is a little bit later than whats presented in the game (by only a year) #so like. by the end of the game. and akiras palace shenanigans #and the whole thang w strikers #goro would be way more adjusted and less explosive and unstable about things #but in order to get there; it takes alot of work #the moral of this is that ryuji is struggling w akira and his issues too. and he is the grounding force for him #and it makes sense that that would work on goro too lol #ann is also like this; which is why i think she would be the person goro relaxes around the most before the others #she and ryuji are blunt and not afraid to tell it like it is. but they are also incredibly nice and lovely #and they do not hold back on compliments either. #its them being so honest; and that honesty also containing a wealth of positivity that makes it difficult for goro to keep the mask on #weugh #anyway #shuake #<- tagging this for blacklisting and not bc i enjoy sending out a call to all shuakes in the area. i am afraid of them #and hoping that keeping the tag at the end prevents it from going in the main tag #even though i know tumblr tagging is horrendous and it will appear there anyway ☠️

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #feeling really down and frustrated #ever since i caught covid over the new year ive just been doing so badly #it’s now halfway through may and not only am i having all sorts of weird new pain problems #to the point where i dragged myself to the er yesterday bc my usual meds didn’t do shit for me and i spent seven hours writhing in pain #but also mentally im just. constantly tapped out #before covid i was able to keep up w news and work on research projects and write multiple image descriptions every day and read books #and keep up w friends all while working full time #like even if i was in bed p much whenever i wasn’t at work i could still read and write and carry conversations #now it’s like i can only handle all of these things in small doses before my brain just shuts off #im still keeping up w news and describing what i can and working on my research projects and trying to make connections #but i feel so slow abt everything i do #it’s driving me up the wall #ive been trying for days to get through this one academic paper that’s rlly not even that long #and i just can’t do it. not for long anyway i have to read in small bursts #and then having to take muscle relaxants for these fucking spasms that make me really drowsy and sleep the whole day away… #idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore #and how every time there’s a covid outbreak i won’t be able to properly protect myself or my brothers from it #bc of this fuckass job #idk im just tired and upset

[wlw-cryptid]

had a dream about laying in bed propped up on pillows while a butch laid on his stomach next to me w a laptop . spent the whole time just scratchin his back in loopy circles through his nice black shirt easy and comfortable while he told me about something smart

#i want to go back. it was warm and comfortable and i could feel him tense in surprise when i started scritching. only to feel him #melt and relax under my nails moments after . i remember thinking his voice was nice even tho i don't remember it now #she speaks #leaving reblogs on but so help me if i have to deal w some rando going WhY iS iT hE If ThEyRe BuTcH????? ill start biting #its always fun realizing after what information you had intrinsically even if it was never properly Discovered #the things about the dream you just Know. like that dykes pronouns

[redstrewn]

Thinking abt an also socially adept and manipulative character facing off w leander. Like watching 2 coworkers "as per my last email" each other

#i just thought abt one oc my ocs that is like this and how he would interact w leander #redstrewn talks #i made that oc before i knew abt touchstarved but he is deadass like a mix between ais and leander #he has the ability to get into ppls good graces and prefers not to fight like leander but he has a relaxed/sat back vibe like ais #and guess what is main theme was. fucking guess. thats right. his main theme is the word “control.” #his issues are feeling the need to be in control and also struggling to control himself. lmao. ais moment

[transmechanicus]

“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha

#my stuff #dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day #bc i skipped lab to take a nap #and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates #like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em #or at least not as much as they seem to without me #it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space #and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl #idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism #it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work #bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter #i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit #i want it to stop #i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work. #i want to cry and scream and #like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here #i don’t wanna wuss out #but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself #why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much?? #like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get #i’m tired of being tough #i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure

[lottalove01]

rant <3

#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc #she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities #+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family #so this shouldnt surprise her this much #why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too #she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh #and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith #but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion #w an agnostic no less #ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu??? #and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable #especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to #expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends #anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable #shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying #cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird #also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me #why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life #maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man

[astrovian]

can I just say that I love Richard's new seemingly-devil-may-care attitude

#like i feel like just prior to obsession he reached a point of like 'who cares what the haters say imma do me' #and i feel that has to do both with white boar films taking off and the success of Geneva #like he has his fingers in other pies now and he's probably going to pursue less acting projects soon to work on those other pies #so like who cares if fans get mad or leave rude comments or disagree with him #he's established himself enough that some idiots being shitty at his career/him for no reason ain't gonna bring him down #and so i feel like he's just a lot more revealing and chill and happy and forthcoming and relaxed in interviews now #like it feels like almost every interview he does now he is having a genuine conversation w/ the interviewer and not being super careful in #his responses #and i love that for him so much #he seems so happy!!!!!!!! #HE SEEMS SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!! #and i sincerely hope he truly is #richard armitage

[tirfpikachu]

Have you watched any of pokemon concierge and if so do you have thoughts? The pokemon look so cute!!!

I FREAKIGN LOST IT DUDE IT WAS EVERYTHINGGGG oh my god i'm high on really nice edibles and i'm in a great mood thanks to y'all so i might go watch that right now!! :D thank u in advance for the transcendent brain-exploding happiness i shall experience <3

#lay text #THE ART IS SOOOO PWETTY #I LOVE HOW SHE STARTS OFF UPTIGHT AND THE VIEWER IS LIKELY TO VIEW OTHER PPL THERE AS LAZY SLACKERS AND HER AS PRODUCTIVE #BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT THEY STILL GET SHIT DONE #THEY JUST DO IT AS FAST AS IT NEEDS TO BE. WHICH OFTEN MEANS NOT VERY FAST! #IT'S OKAY TO PACE YOURSELF! YOU DON'T NEED TO WORK *THAT* HARD! #THAT'S NOT HOW LARGE MAMMALS DO #LOOK AT LIONS -- THEY LOOOOVE THEIR NAPS #LOOK AT ANIMAL SPECIES THAT R PRODUCTIVE AS FUCK. THEY STILL HAVE DOWNTIME PERIODS #YOU CAN RELAX. YOU CAN BE HUMAN. JUST BE KIND AND SHARE LOVE AND ENJOY LIFE #IT'S OKAY TO BE MESSY W YOUR SCHEDULE #IT'S OKAY TO NOT DO IT PERFECTLY OR IN THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY #IT'S OKAY TO PRIORITIZE ENJOYING LIFE #YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR SHIT DONE AND STILL TAKE TIME TO SMELL THE FLOWERS AND HAVE FUN OTHERWISE WHAT R U LIVING FOR????? #THIS BEAUTIFUL THING IS RIGHT HERE THIS WORLD THIS WONDERFUL WORLD!!!!! LEARN TO ACTUALLY APPRECIATE IT!!! #SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES AT UR FINGERTIPS!!!! #IF WORK DOESN'T ALLOW FOR THAT THEN WORK NEEDS TO CHANGE CUZ YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE #OTHERWISE WHY EVEN LIVE??? IF NOT FOR HAPPINESS???? FINDING HAPPINESS IS YOUR #1 JOB IN LIFE #A PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS IS THE MOST HUMAN THING #ALSO THE POKEMONS ARE CUTE AND HAVE PERSONALITIES AND SPECIES TRAITS AND IDK THEY ADD LITTLE DETAILS #THAT MAKES IT ALL FEEL SO GENUINE AND LIVED IN #I LOVE THOSE GUYS.... FRIEND SHAPED #ALL FRIEND SHAPED #EVEN THE BAD ONES. IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT. THEY'RE LIMITED BY THEIR BODIES JUST LIKE WE ARE..... #OKAY SORRY I HAVE RAMBLING DISORDER

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[ilonacho]

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day! #i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation? #like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??) #but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it? #i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’ #but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here) #it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

[sonego]

gonna get personal in the tags sorryyyyy

shit i ran out of tags to use GKBKGKDKKDBJDMBMN ok rest under a read more 😭

so okay basically my doctor said sure i'll write you the prescription and also wait should i add it to your regularly taken meds page (so i can request it with a click when i run out)? and i was like yeah that'd be nice and i tried to explain that i thought i would only need for a short period of time but i still need it after many months so... but like he didn't care about the why lol

and anyway now that this has happened i'm like. gonna try to Stop doing what i was doing. there is no good reason to be in pain all the time and make my life harder when taking that dose of my med was working okay and making things considerably better. i don't need to punish myself. this is like so so so hard for me to internalize. being disabled is not a fault. even if it might be my "fault", even if i lowkey feel like i might have contributed to the condition i am in with like, bad choices or whatever, it's still not right to punish myself for it. i'm already unwell, i'm already suffering, what's making it worse gonna do to help? why do i need to feel worse just so i can think i got what i deserve for being in pain in the first place?

so yeah. going back to the higher dose. i hope that makes me feel less pain. i hope i can work without hating every second of it again. i do still hope one day i can get better and not need this med anymore, it's not like i've given up on that bc tbh a lot's still unclear and i will try and see if i can find answers. but in the meantime, no more punishing myself. i need to be okay. i want to be okay.

#called my doctor the other day #bc i needed the prescription for the muscle relaxant i take for my back pain #and i've been needing it for like a while but i kept putting off calling him to get it #there's a few reasons for that one of which is that i hate phone calls in general but especially w doctors #just makes me v v anxious #which is related to another reason which is that i was so scared he'd tell me no bc this was was supposed to be a temporary “fix” #like a little help while i actually got better #which clearly hasn't happened so i still need it but like. i am so used to doctors trying to like decide what i need #not based on my symptoms and needs and what i tell them but just what they think i SHOULD need #bc i SHOULDN'T feel pain i SHOULDN'T need to take that i should just idk excercise and lose weight and try not to be s*icidal and try to #control my moods and oh i shouldn't have headaches almost daily cause they found no medical reason for it #also have i tried sleeping more? have i tried not having insomnia? have i tried smaller doses of x med? #etc etc it's never what i AM experiencing it's what i SHOULD be experiencing. and let me tell you that sucks so bad #my previous gp ruined me so bad and i'm only now realizing it #like every time i need to tell or ask my current gp something i get so anxious bc i'm convinced he'll put up a fight and say no without #listening or he'll write me the wrong prescription or he won't even answer my calls ........... #instead this gp is the opposite #maybe even like. too easily says yes lmao 😭 like i try to talk things thru w him a bit to explain why i need x and he'll just be like #yeah sure here it is and sometimes i feel he's not even listening 🧍🏻 #but anyway like. i was kinda punishing myself i think? #i keep trying to lower my dose of muscle relaxant bc i think i shouldn't need it #and i don't want to need it i actually HATE that i need it. it makes me so mad w myself #so i keep trying even if every time i take less i am in so much pain #and these past couple of weeks? or something i did that even more bc i tried to lower it EVEN MORE #even if the 5th attempt to lower it a bit was unsuccessful and i was doing so badly #bc i was running out and i was killing two birds with one stone by trying to lower it so i would be a Better Stronger Nico #and was delaying having to call my doctor #end result: i wanna cry every time i stop (workiny #working* or studying or giffing or doing Whatever) #bc i'm forced to think of the fact i am in pain