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daevastanner · 3 months

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Halfbreeds

My contribution for Gwynriel weeks2024 is this Gwynsand/dark!Gwyn fanfic. Please enjoy this extra moody first chapter now available on Ao3. Chapter 2 to come tomorrow!

r h y s a n d

Rhysand waited patiently in his office in the House of Wind for the next witness to arrive.

He’d been hearing testimonies from the priestesses of Sangravah all day.

Well, a few of them. Only the ones who had volunteered to relive the nightmares that had transpired, all in exchange for the chance they may get a morsel of justice.

The heavy oak door opened, and Clotho came striding into the warmly lit office, another unfamiliar acolyte behind her. With a gnarled hand, she gestured to the high-backed sitting chair in front of Rhysand’s mahogany desk.

The acolyte gave Clotho a hollow smile, nodding in confirmation that she could leave her alone with the High Lord.

With a bow of her head, Clotho retreated, the door clicking shut behind her.

Rhys took a moment to perceive the female before him. She had pin straight coppery hair, tucked behind her pointed ears. Her face was smattered with caramel colored freckles that contrasted starkly against her sallow complexion.

No doubt Sangravah had taken its toll on her.

She gave Rhys that same empty smile she’d given Clotho. The expression did not meet her large, teal eyes, the skin beneath them bearing bruise-like smudges. He recognized the expression. He’d worn it plenty of times after he’d returned from Under the Mountain. It was the smile he donned when he could feel the phantom scratch of Amarantha’s nails, the echo of her gluttonous moans.

Rhys returned the priestess’s polite smile, shoving his ghosts to the back of his mind. He leaned his elbows on his desk, trying to appear at ease. “Let’s get introductions out of the way. My name is Rhysand, I am High Lord of the Night Court.”

“Acolyte Gwyneth Berdara, formerly of the Temple of Sangravah,” she replied primly although her voice was slightly hoarse.

Rhys arched a brow attempting to keep things conversational. “Gwyneth Berdara? You’re one of the priestesses who have accepted postage at The House of Wind.”

He’d given all the acolytes from Sangravah two options upon their relocating. A post: serving in the House of Wind with a private room in the library dormitories, including access to regular counseling sessions; or passage: an escort to their family or friends after assessment by healers.

The choice was theirs.

Most of this particular lot accepted passage, with only ten requesting a post.

One of those ten, being Gwyneth Berdara.

“I look forward to beginning my service,” Gwyneth said with a slight bow of her head. There was a faint glimmer in her eyes, one that hadn’t been there before. “If there has been one bit of hope in the past week, it’s that I may do some good in the High Lord’s name.”

The way she spoke wasn’t as though she wished to appease him, but not insincere. It was almost admiring, yet bashful. Like speaking to your greatest hero, or happening upon your most respected artist. He would gladly receive her praise if it alleviated the weight of the ghosts bearing down on her.

As though sensing his assessment, Gwyn’s cheeks pinkened. “I’m just very familiar with your policies in Velaris and the work you’ve done for the females of Illyria. Not to mention the orphans of the Capital cities.”

Rhys smiled, heat blooming in his own cheeks at the enthusiasm in her reply. “I wasn’t aware anyone was monitoring my policies.”

“I have been,” Gwyn said. A beat passed, then, “I specialized in the care of the orphans at Sangravah. And my twin and I are— were nymphs.”

He heard the unspoken words in the latter-half of the sentence.

‘I’m a halfbreed too.’

He shrugged his shoulders. “Genetic status is irrelevant in the Velaris—“

“Thanks to you,” Gwyneth finished, then ducked her head, seemingly embarrassed. “My lord.”

Right, well, perhaps she’d be comfortable enough to discuss her thoughts on his policies with him in a few years. Once she’d acclimated. If she had positive opinions, she’d certainly have negative ones, and it had been a long time since someone who didn’t know Rhys intimately had critiqued him.

“Well, I appreciate you volunteering for both the library and this interview, Priestess,” Rhysand said. “May I explain how you will be giving your testimony?”

Gwyneth bobbed her head, that broken smile resurfacing on her lips.

Rhysand explained how he intended to utilize his daemati magic to view the events of her memories from the attack on Sangravah. He’d then use the information he found to look for any familiar faces or weak points in their enemy’s defenses.

“If the use of my gift gives you pause, I’ll happily take a verbal account,” Rhys finished.

Gwyneth’s mouth was pressed in a flat line, all color drained from her face. “Which is more helpful?”

Rhys felt his stomach sink. What she had lived through had to be too traumatic to recount verbally, especially with so little time to process whatever had occurred.

At least using his daemati magic, Rhysand would be sifting through her mind alone, with her no wiser as to the contents he was making note of.

“Strictly speaking, mental accounts are more reliable and while most invasive, require you to remember less details. Those who choose verbal typically take issue with the intimate nature of my gifts. It’s a matter of comfortability.”

Gwyneth Berdara nodded, chewing her lower lip, then finally said, “I’d rather you get as much detail as possible to apprehend the responsible parties. I trust you to use your abilities honorably.”

Rhys dipped his head. “While your trust is not misplaced, Priestess, I appreciate it all the same. If you could just–”

“On one condition, please, my lord.”

His brows rose at the distressed creases lining her forehead, indicating it had taken great courage for her to speak up. He nodded for her to continue.

“I would ask,” Gwyneth began, “that whatever you see does not alter the way you have regarded me since I entered this office. I’ve… I’ve had enough pity.”

Rhys felt a frown tug at the corners of his lips. He knew all about pity. To his knowledge, many priestesses and children had seen immeasurable horrors during the attacks. Morrigan and Azriel had plenty of accounts they’d relayed with somber eyes while nursing their respective glasses of alcohol.

“On my word as High Lord of the Night Court, you will have no pity from me, Gwyneth Berdara.”

On my word as someone who has had his fill of pity as well…

Gwyneth’s answering smile was feeble and forced, but true. “Then we may proceed. Tell me what is needed of me.”

Rhys instructed the priestess to relax as best she could and close her eyes. She may feel a slight probing within her skull, and if at any point she did not wish to continue, she need only say so. Verbally or mentally, he would pick up on her request and withdraw immediately.

She had no questions, only took a steeling breath and leaned back in her seat, folding her hands neatly in her lap. Her eyes slid shut, lips pressed in a tight line once more. “I’m ready,” she said softly.

Rhysand concentrated on her, carefully setting aside his sympathies. Only when her shoulders relaxed did he close his own eyes, and dive in.

Read the rest on Ao3

#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #gwynriel supremacy #gwyn and azriel #acotar fanfiction #gwynriel fic #gwynriel fanfiction #ao3 #gwynsand friendship #gwynriel weeks 2024 #rhysand and gwyn #acosf

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 1 year

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Heyyy brainrot first of all how is life? How are you and your health? And second can you write something about mc falling asleep somewhere awkward while waiting for M6 or MC who is into crossdressing thank you

The Arcana HCs: When MC falls asleep waiting for the M6

~ @godslayer143 hiya! One of the first people who ever sent me a request, it's good to hear from you! I'm okay but this is my third back-to-back 12 hour shift now, so forgive my writing if it feels especially sleepy lol. Hope you enjoy these friend - brainrot ~

Julian

You two were hanging out at the Rowdy Raven after a very long week and he got sucked into a drinking game while he was getting another round for the two of you

The corner booth you have is warm, the sound is muffled from here, the lighting is dim ...

And when he finally returns with drinks for his beloved he sees you slumped in your seat with your head pillowed on your arms, passed out in Vesuvia's sketchiest tavern

He feels pretty bad, he knows it's his fault, and if even if it isn't he'll still take the blame

Gives the drink refills to the group next to you and carries you home

Correction: he attempts to carry you home. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, he just consumed an unholy amount of alcohol and has noodle arms

Malak gets tired of his master's dramatics and swoops by, cawing loudly in your ear and flapping away before Julian can swat at him

You wake up and walk the rest of the way home while he apologizes for leaving you for so long

Immediately hustles you to bed when you get home

Asra

A whole guild's worth of traveling merchants set up shop in a corner of the marketplace and they couldn't stay away

They're selling things that even he hasn't seen or heard of before, and he's going setup by setup, collecting stories and traveler's tips and free samples

You've been sleepy all day, you've found a shady corner to sit down in, the wall you're leaning against is warm from baking in the sun all morning, and you're out before you can count to ten

When they make their way back to you and notice you're asleep, they spend a good seven minutes crouched in front of you with a lovesick gaze

The way your chest rises and falls, the way your eyelids twitch, the way the bustle of the marketplace seems so far away like this, you're perfectly enchanting

Faust will eventually nudge him back to reality and he'll gently shake you awake

They'll hold your hand the whole way home, staying relatively quiet so as not to wake you up too much

Once you two get back he'll pull you into bed and snuggle you back to sleep. You're just so cute like this!

Nadia

Dinner was supposed to be at eight, you made it to your seat by seven fifty-four, and it's past nine pm now

You know why Nadia hasn't appeared yet. Chandra appeared an hour ago with a note saying that an important meeting was running late and she'd only be a few minutes

You're not upset with her, this is the last thing she needs to sort out before a weekend away

Your head is tilted back, cradled by the top of the carved chair, the cushion you're sitting on is plush, and now you're dozing off

Chandra watches owlishly as your mouth slowly drops open from the strange sleeping position and you begin to lightly snore, arms dangling

When Nadia appears at nine-fifteen, your eyes are being shielded from the light by a downy wing belonging to a judgemental bird

She'll kiss you awake, wrap her arm around your waist, and half-carry you to her chambers

Dinner is now to be brought to her room

She is also going to drag you to her private bath and pamper you with the most luxurious night routine she has available

Chandra will get a treat later

Muriel

You were walking with him early one morning to replace one of the protective charms around the hut

He hadn't asked you to accompany him, but you wanted to learn more about his magic, so when you felt him roll out of bed you shook yourself awake and joined him

Replacing the charm is a slow process, the sky is silver before dawn, and Inanna's warm and solid against your back, and, and -

- and when Muriel turns back from his work, you're buried in Inanna's fur, fast asleep

He'll move so slowly, so carefully, so as not to wake you up

He'll carry you back through the woods, cloak draped over you like a blanket, while his familiar keeps her ears perked for any threats to your sleep

There's a bit of fumbling at the hut door trying to open it without shifting you too much but he manages

He's wide awake now, so he'll gently tuck you back in bed while he makes breakfast for the two of you

When you do wake up properly, it's to a warm, hearty breakfast and a peeved wolf (Muriel was so insistent on waiting for you that he didn't let her get started either)

Portia

You were waiting for Portia to arrive back at the ship to begin the journey home

It's been about fifteen minutes, so you climb a bit of the rigging to look for her figure making its way down the dock

It's been a very busy week of negotiations and late state dinners, and you've ended up in a bit of netting that feels very similar to a hammock ...

Portia has a hard time keeping her laughter quiet when she spots you dangling above deck, tangled in the rigging and completely dead to the world

She'll pull you down, netting and all, and haul you back to her cabin to let you sleep in a slightly comfier spot

And then she stays to disentangle you

And then she sees how calm you are, and feels how tired she is, and the crazy week is finally over, and the ship is already heading out to sea, and the bed looks really cozy right now ...

You both wake up as the sun is setting to a little paw gently batting at your faces. Pepi smells dinner cooking and she's hungry

Unbeknownst to you, the entire ship's crew saw you napping mid-air, and you will become a legend among the sailors

Lucio

It's just after lunch, you're on the road, and the map you two picked up at the job listing site isn't as easy to read as it should be

At least, that's what Lucio is grumbling under his breath as he insists on navigating for you so you can rest

And rest you do, after the first ten minutes. The sign for this particular cross roads is solid and sturdy, and the grass beneath it is dry and warm

Lucio doesn't realize you've fallen asleep until Mercedes yips at him, Melchior awkwardly propping you up with his head so you don't fall over

He thinks it's hilarious at first

Until he looks around for potential threats and realizes for himself how peaceful and drowsy the afternoon is

He'll pick you up and set you down a little ways from the road and flop down next to you with your packs as pillows

Mercedes and Melchior watch in slight concern as he dozes off next to you, map completely forgotten in favor of a snooze

They will grudgingly keep watch until Lucio starts to sunburn, at which point they'll lick you both awake and herd him down the correct path

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana fluff #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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yakuzacanons · 10 months

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I love the sunshine x grumpy trope in fiction. I also love the friends to lovers trope. Let's mix them! I've had this idea in the back of my mind for a while so lemme cook.

Imagine a young Ryuji being friends with the reader, the only person to not be scared of him because of his dad being Yakuza and who is generally a very friendly and optimistic person all around. They always got each other's backs, reader doing their best to cheer him up when he's down and his old man's giving him shit, Ryuji actually being able to open up about his mom to someone for once!

Eventually they grow up and realize that omg! They have feelings for each other! :O I wonder how they'll go about confessing and getting together, Ryuji being worried about dragging them into this dangerous lifestyle he was born into and reader being all like "(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) you're stuck with me boo"

ahhh prompts for my sweetie Ryuji, on it bosssss. Using the confession line I wrote for him in my confessions headcanon post babeyyy. Headcanons below da cut, mwah sweet anon.

Ryuji always struggled with making friends, even at a very young age. Even before he was old enough to understand what his dad did for a living or that he was an orphan, he just felt really alienated. He noticed he was treated differently than most other kids, which only made other kids avoid him, which only made him feel worse. By the time he hit elementary school, he just decided it was better to be a loner.

He liked to pretend it was his choice and that he was special, but deep down he was jealous of other kids: their parents walking them lovingly to school, playing in parks after school with friends, passing notes in class all while giggling under their breath. Meanwhile, Ryuji was arriving to school in a private car, surrounded by bodyguards whenever he wasn't at school. Hell, even his school lunches looked different from everyone else's. So he just kept to himself, harumphing and scoffing his way through school hallways.

Imagine his surprise when one day at recess you appeared in front of him. He hadn't even noticed the ball the other kids were playing with had rolled away and over to him. The others must've been too intimidated to come get it themselves so they sent you, the big-hearted and always smiling popular kid, to get it. What surprised him more was when you ASKED him to hand you the ball instead of just sweeping it up into your arms and jogging away quickly.

He could've sworn he was dreaming when he handed you the ball and you flashed your smile, asking if he wanted to come play. Ryuji? Being invited to play? Maybe dreams DO come true. Either way, the two of you became inseparable friends from that day on.

Everyone, kids and adults alike, didn't get it. You were so normal and nice and Ryuji was the son of the leader of the Omi Alliance. Not that you minded any of that; to you Ryuji was just another kid, just like you. Through the years, Ryuji found himself hanging out at your house after school to escape his dad prodding him with questions about school. If you ever got picked on at school, Ryuji was there in a flash, protecting you.

It remained this way until part of the way through high school. Ryuji's dad was starting to put Ryuji into a role that was more involved in the Omi Alliance and as a direct result, Ryuji was just less available. He was forced to grow up faster than most kids. While everyone else was worried about exams or where to go after high school, Ryuji was getting ready to inherit the Omi Alliance throne. Sure, you had his e-mail but even then he was so busy that you hardly heard from or saw him outside of school.

Still, the two of you hung onto the friendship as best as you could even after high school. Sometimes you'd go weeks without hearing from him, but you were always happy to see him. Truthfully, Ryuji was actually the happiest out of the two of you. You were his only friend growing up. Perhaps you still are his only friend. You're certainly the only person outside of the alliance he knows at all.

Now that the two of you had settled into your adult lives, most visits ended up with the two of you catching up at a café from time to time. This time, it was Ryuji's turn to surprise you when he texted you saying he was outside of your office just when quitting time rolled around. You rushed out and saw him standing there, smoking absentmindedly. His face lit up into that familiar smirk when he saw you and he sauntered up to you. When you asked what on earth he was doing, he shrugged and said "What, I can't sneak outta work to hang with my best friend?".

The years hadn't been kind to Ryuji. He had scars on his face and his eyes had grown menacing. Every detail, down to how he dressed to how he walked, conveyed who he was. But in front of you, he was still just some lost kid. You could see it in the way he smiled as the two of you knocked back drinks or the way he belted out without restraint at karaoke.

In fact, it was in that exact moment at karaoke when you looked up from your drink and saw him that you felt your heart stop for a moment. Was Ryuji always that tall? You didn't remember thinking his face was handsome before. The only thing that snapped you out of your trance was Ryuji asking what the heck you were staring at. You tried to deflect but your blushing gave it away. Thankfully, Ryuji didn't press further on the matter, but the thought lingered in his mind long after the two of you left the building.

Ryuji noticed the streets were crawling with more Omi Alliance men than when you had entered, so the two of you opted to retreat to a nearby rooftop so he could have a smoke. He knew they wouldn't look for him there but secretly it was also so he could confront you about what just happened. He catches you off guard as you sit on a bench on the rooftop, your eyes gazing off at the stars, the image of Ryuji smiling at you burning into your brain.

You pretended you didn't hear him the first time he asked what happened. It wasn't until he plopped down onto the bench next to you that you realized you weren't worming your way out of this one. You sit up properly only to meet Ryuji's gaze, steadfast and curious, as he says "Oi, I'm serious. What happened back there?". You sputter in response, your drunken self stumbling between excuses and just admitting it. Your blubbered mumbling makes Ryuji burst out in laughter.

You pout in response, saying something like "Hey, don't laugh at me!" to which Ryuji profusely apologizes while stifling laughter. Eventually, his laughter subsides and he shakes his head, his half smoked cigarette in hand. He takes a quick puff before slumping in his seat, uncharacteristically looking down at his shoes before you catch him mumbling "Why'd ya have to be so cute?..."

He realizes you totally heard him and he snaps up to look at you and this time it's your turn to laugh. He growls sarcastically and responds with "Oi, what happened to not laughing at each other!" before breaking out into laughter too. When the two of you calm down again, you half jokingly say "Seriously, what's up with us today?" still teetering between telling him the truth or keeping it to yourself.

Before you can even contemplate making a decision, Ryuji makes one for you. He turns to face you, his gaze tinged with sincerity and nervousness that you hadn't seen since the first time he ever looked at you, before he blurts out “I’m not sure what else to do at this point except tell ya: ya got me wrapped ‘round your finger. No matter what happens, ya have my heart. I’ll always be there. I promise.”

#yakuza #yakuza headcanons #yakuza imagines #majima megaphone moment #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku headcanons #ryu ga gotoku imagines #ryuji goda #headcanons #imagines

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denimbex1986 · 11 months

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'The day Christopher Nolan called Cillian Murphy about his new film, " Oppenheimer," Murphy hung up the phone in disbelief.

The Irish actor, though a regular presence in Nolan films going back almost two decades, had always been a supporting player. This time Nolan wanted him to lead.

"He's so understated and self-deprecating and, in his very English manner, just said, 'Listen, I've written this script, it's about Oppenheimer. I'd like you to be my Oppenheimer,'" Murphy, 46, told The Associated Press recently. "It was a great day."

For Murphy, it is never not exciting to get a call from Nolan. It's just hard to predict if he's going to. He knows there are some movies he's right for and some movies he isn't.

"I have always said publicly and privately, to Chris, that if I'm available and you want me to be in a movie, I'm there. I don't really care about the size of the part," he said. "But deep down, secretly, I was desperate to play a lead for him."

Murphy first met Nolan in 2003. He was brought in to screen test for Batman —not just the movie, the character. Murphy knew he wasn't right for the Dark Knight, but he wanted to meet the man who'd directed "Insomnia" and "Memento." They hit it off and Murphy got to tap into a sinister intensity to play the corrupt psychiatrist Dr. Crane/Scarecrow, who would go on to appear in all three films. Nolan would also call on Murphy to be the conflicted heir to a business empire in "Inception" and a traumatized soldier in "Dunkirk."

"We have this long-standing understanding and trust and shorthand and respect," Murphy said. "It felt like the right time to take on a bigger responsibility. And it just so happened that it was a (expletive) huge one."

Soon after the phone call, Nolan flew to Dublin to meet Murphy to hand him a physical copy of the script, which he devoured right there in Nolan's hotel room in September 2020. It was, he said, the best he'd ever read.

Then the scale of it started to sink in.

This would be a film about the charismatic and controversial theoretical physicist who helped create the atomic bomb. Oppenheimer and his peers at Los Alamos would test it on July 16, 1945, not knowing what was going to happen. Then several weeks later the United States would drop those bombs on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, killing tens of thousands of people and leaving many with lifelong injuries.

As Nolan said last week in Las Vegas, "Like it or not J. Robert Oppenheimer is the most important person who ever lived."

"Oppenheimer," which opens in theaters on July 21, features a starry cast including Emily Blunt as Oppenheimer's wife Kitty, Matt Damon as Leslie Groves Jr., Robert Downey Jr. as Lewis Strauss, Gary Oldman as Harry S. Truman, and many more rounding out the pivotal players in and around this tense moment in history.

"You realize this is a huge responsibility. He was complicated and contradictory and so iconic," Murphy said. "But you know you're with one of the great directors of all time. I felt confident going into it with Chris. He's had a profound impact on my life, creatively and professionally. He's offered me very interesting roles over and I've found all of them really challenging. And I just love being on his sets."

Murphy continued: "Any actor would want to be on a Chris Nolan set, just to see how it works and to witness his command of the language of film and the mechanics of film and how he's able to use that broad canvas within the mainstream studio system to make these very challenging human stories."

Over the years, Murphy has come to appreciate that with Nolan there's always something deeper to discover than what's literally on the page. "Dunkirk," he recalled, was only 70 pages and there wasn't much to his character, not even a name.

"He said, 'Look, let's figure it out together and you and me can find an emotional journey for the character. And we did it. We did it out in the water on that boat. That comes from trust and respect," Murphy said. "I'm really proud of that performance."

As with all Nolan endeavors, secrecy around "Oppenheimer" is vitally important. Murphy loves the "old-fashioned approach" that builds interest and anticipation.

The difference with "Oppenheimer" and other Nolan originals, though, is that this is rooted in historical fact. You can read the book it's based on, Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin's Pulitzer Prize-winning "American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer." You can watch the 1981 documentary "The Day After Trinity" on The Criterion Channel.

And you can try to parse Nolan's words for clues. He's talked about recreating the Trinity Test, the fascinating paradoxes, the twists, turns, and ethical dilemmas, and that the story is cinematic and both dream and nightmare. But ultimately, it's something that just needs to be seen.

"The question will be how Chris presents it," Murphy said. "I think people will be very surprised and wowed by what he does. Anything I say will just seem a bit lame as compared to seeing this in an IMAX theater."

The time for discussions will be after the movie comes out.

"There's an awful lot to talk about when we can talk freely," Murphy said with a smile.

He did offer up that they worked hard to get Oppenheimer's look right, from the silhouette to the pipe to the porkpie hat. The man, he said, "seemed aware of his own potential mythology." But, again, those conversations will have to wait.

"I'm really proud of the movie and I'm really proud of what Chris has achieved. This was, for sure, a special one, certainly because of the history with me and Chris. We were not walking around the set high fiving, but it did feel special." Murphy said. "It's an event every time he releases a film, and rightly so. Whether I'm in them or not, I always go to see his movies."'

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killed-by-choice · 1 year

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“Serena Roe,” 22 (USA 1979–1980)

In their 1979-1980 Abortion Surveillance report, the Centers for Disease Control described a death from legal abortion that took place during a surveillance period. A researcher later gave the unidentified victim the pseudonym “Serena Roe” and attempted to calculate the year of her death, estimating that Serena died between 1978 and 1980, (since a previous abortion at age 14 had been legal and the report makes no mention of any health issues that would have facilitated an abortion prior to when states first started allowing abortion on demand).

“Serena” was a 22-year-old Black student when she became pregnant. She had been pregnant once before at the age of 14. That was when the young teenager underwent her first abortion (which was also completely legal).

Serena was a nursing student who lived in the dorm of her college campus, which was located in a large city. She was living on scholarship money supplemented by her parents. She was eligible for Medicaid and had private insurance.

Serena wasn’t using contraception, which makes sense because her parents told CDC staff that she didn’t have a boyfriend at the time of her death. (Given the information available about her life and relationship status, she may have been a victim of assault.) Her mother and sister also said that Serena believed that contraception was “against nature” and she didn’t want to endure possible complications.

Serena didn’t tell her family that she was pregnant again. She was likely scared and didn’t know where to go. It was only after Serena’s admission to the hospital that her parents learned of her pregnancy. Serena’s mother told CDC staff that had she known of Serena’s situation, she would have tried to convince her daughter to not have the abortion.

Serena was 8 weeks pregnant when she underwent a suction abortion at an unspecified abortion facility. The staff noted no complications and discharged Serena a few hours later. She paid out-of-pocket for the abortion.

Despite the fact that the facility’s staff noted no complications, Serena was in the emergency room of her university’s hospital only two days later. She was lethargic with abdominal pain, blood pressure reading at 40/20, respiration of 28, and a pulse of 64 bpm. Her abdomen was “rigid, distended, and tender” and her pain was so severe that it was hard for doctors to give her a pelvic exam.

Serena was diagnosed with uterine rupture and sepsis. An IV was started with ampicillin, clindamycin, and gentamicin.

Four hours after she was admitted, Serena started having trouble breathing and had to be intubated for ventilation.

Two hours later, hospital staff performed an exploratory laparotomy. They removed three liters of clotted blood from her abdominal cavity and repaired a perforation in her uterus that had been caused by the force of the suction. She appeared to be stable during surgery and was given three units of blood.

Only 5 minutes after Serena was transferred into the hospital recovery room, she went into cardiac arrest. Staff resuscitated her and transferred her to the ICU. On X-ray, she was found to have pulmonary edema. Serena remained comatose for a month before she died. Her death was attributed to cardiopulmonary arrest due to septic shock and hemorrhage due to the uterine perforation. For some unexplained reason, no autopsy was performed despite the circumstances of her death.

The CDC blamed Serena's death on her abortionist's failure to diagnose the perforated uterus, Serena's delay in seeking medical care after her abortion, a possibly excessive amount of intravenous fluid administered by the hospital, postponing the transfusions until after the laparotomy and —oddly enough— on the fact that Serena didn’t use contraceptives despite not being in a relationship.

CDC 1979-1980 Abortion Surveillance Part III (page 11–12)

(Note: due to voluntary reporting systems, inconsistent data collection methods and the use of estimation by previous years as a method to calculate abortion numbers and fatalities, not all data in the report is necessarily complete. There are also speculations made on various risk factors and complications of legal abortion which have been better studied now because this is an older report and not an up-to-date one.)

#pro life #death from legal abortion #unsafe yet legal #tw abortion #tw murder #tw ab*rtion #black lives matter #victims of roe #unidentified victim #abortion

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coochiequeens · 1 year

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But this isn’t grooming, right?

A trans-identified male substitute teacher was banned from King Middle School in Portland, Maine after he shared his highly sexualized TikTok account intentionally with students.

Lydia Lamere, also known as Chris Lamere, wrote his TikTok handle on the whiteboard at the front of the classroom and encouraged students to “check it out,” according to one student.

King Middle School students took to visiting Lamere’s social media at his invitation and began to circulate his suggestive, highly sexual videos in group chats.

One girl who attends King Middle School told her father, Mark Davey, that students were talking about and sharing Lamere’s videos in which he discussed sexual activity and could be seen nearly nude, as reported by The Maine Wire.

“My daughter showed me group text messages where all the students were talking about it,” said Davey.

The student’s father reached out to school principal Caitlin LeClair with several questions about the ordeal, but had not heard from her as of Tuesday. Davey said he would not have been surprised if Lamere was scrubbing his social media at the school’s guidance, perhaps to avoid further trouble for either party.

Davey referred to Lamere as a woman, though, and utilized feminine pronouns: “Her gender or sexuality has nothing to do with why I’m upset…The violation here is the sexualization of children.”

While much of Lamere’s TikTok content was deleted sometime last week after the widespread circulation, students had already downloaded several videos and continued to share them among one another.

In one video the students had been exposed to, Lamere is seen with only a towel on, posing provocatively and talking into a bathroom mirror.

In an email to parents of the school sent on Friday, January 20, principal Caitlin LeClair addressed the fiasco, stating she was made aware of the concerns the day before. “As [Thursday] unfolded, it became apparent that a lot of students were talking about the TikTok account,” LeClair wrote in her email. She made it clear that Lamere would not be returning to the middle school as a result of an “investigation.”

Tess Nacelewicz, communications coordinator for Portland Schools, confirmed details of the removal to Reduxx, noting that “the district has a strict policy on the use of social media by school employees that requires employees to preserve the integrity of the learning environment and maintain professional boundaries with students at all times.”

Nacelewicz stated that the process for vetting substitutes includes interviewing candidates and conducting background checks, but that law enforcement has not been contacted regarding Lemere’s conduct with students.

One account on TikTok appearing to belong to Lamere was being actively scrubbed and made private during the time Reduxx was surveying the content for this report.

As of late Wednesday night, Lemere’s TikTok account @lydia_moon_ had six videos up, five featuring Lamere in front of the camera and one of an animated video. Less than two hours later, Lamere began deleting the comments underneath the videos. Soon after, the account was no longer accessible.

In another video available through cache when Reduxxinvestigated, the instructor could be heard discussing “kink” and sexual positions, using terms commonly found in BDSM culture.

Lamere’s final video, posted on January 20, coincides with King Middle School Principal LeClair’s January 20 letter of confirmation that Lamere would not be returning to the school.

The former substitute teacher was evidently aware of the consequences that were presenting themselves following the promotion of a sexualized social media account to sixth graders. He fashioned the final post as something of a goodbye to his followers.

“Probably my last video on this account. Love y’all,” Lamere captioned the video, which featured an animation of the tale known as “The Ring of Gyges” from book two of Plato’s Republic. The story tells of a character named Gyges who finds a magic ring that gave him the power to disappear and reappear at the spin of the ring’s stone. Gyges uses the ring and its powers to murder a reigning monarch and take over the kingdom.

A partial transcript from the video reads: “… this story illustrate[s] how people can apparently benefit by acting unjustly. After all, wouldn’t any rational person act like Gyges if presented the opportunity to get what they desired without consequence? The only reason anyone conducts themselves virtuously is due to external influences … So it’s appearing – not actually being – virtuous that matters.”

A popular philosophy website explains that “One of the most famous discussions of justice occurs in Book II of Plato’s The Republic where [it is argued] that there is no intrinsic reason to be just.”

Prior to Lamere’s account being disabled, Reduxx obtained screenshots showcasing a sympathetic user’s comment on Lamere’s calculated, final post before he deleted comments and ultimately wiped the account, in which the user said, “I’m so sorry for what they did to you.”

Another comment read, “Will you be starting another [account]? I don’t comment often but I do enjoy seeing you on here,” to which Lamere answered “I don’t know.”

Lamere has also reportedly gone by the names Chris Lamere, Lydia Moon, Clodagh Moon, and Clodagh Lamere, and has apparently adopted multiple different sexualities and gender identities. Reduxx also found that Lamere once referred to himself as “Thorn.”

Reduxx found the Facebook account belonging to Lamere which has been active for over 10 years, with posts dating back to 2012.

According to the account, which uses the name “Lydia Moon,” the same name from his now-private TikTok, Lamere was raised in New Hampshire, graduated high school in 2007 and went on to anthropology at State University of New York at Plattsburgh which he graduated from in 2011.

Past work experience seems to include being an “environmental educator,” as well as working at a book shop and a pest control company.

Throughout 2016 and 2017, Lamere would post long, multiple-minute videos of himself reading various books out loud in front of the camera.

Lamere moved to Portland, Maine in July of 2020. Since then, Lamere had used his account to post almost exclusively about his identity as a “transgender woman” with several posts relating to his “transition,” including multiple requests for financial assistance.

After settling in Portland, Lamere penned a lengthy message claiming “fascists” were targeting him.

“hello! yes, i’m gay and trans, and mostly I don’t give a fuck about this website. i’m cautious about people who I friended on a whim 8 years ago turning out to be secret fash [fascists] and targeting me.” Lamere wrote, shirking grammar in the rambling text. “HOWEVER: this website has become complicit in far right terrorist activity. using this site has the potential to be extremely dangerous. I URGE you to move off this website as soon as humanly possible. Take a week long break, try not to post, more importantly, try to avoid advertisements. If you talk to your friends and all go over to twitter together, you can form a small community and start hyping each other up. I’m over on twitter at @thicketthorn. Remember that this website also owns the major photo site. I’d love to help you get started on twitter, give you a few pointers for using the site. If you are a friend or family member, make a twitter account as soon as possible.”

In October of 2020, Lamere shared a self-organized fundraising link to fund his laser hair removal and stated that his name was “Thorn.” The message on the fundraiser link, in which over $1000 was raised, says “Hello, I’m Thorn. I’m a few years into my transition, but I’ve found that beginning HRT has kicked these Needs into overdrive. Every day, I wake up and discover that there are more hairs on my cheeks and chin. I would feel so happy and euphoric if I woke up one day and that stopped. Anything helps, and I know that it’s a long process. You can share this gofundme in any platform.”

A few months later, Lamere told Facebook friends, “Just a casual reminder to all my friends and family that my parents kicked me out into a pandemic after I came out as trans. My dad’s kindly paying for the apartment while i’m unemployed after losing my job for asking my coworkers to wear masks …

I know I don’t post on here at all, but maybe I should. I have to change my facebook name for tinder purposes anyways. I’ll add some new pictures, but I’m super hesitant to post about transness over here on Facebook.”

Later that same day, Lamere posted a longer message, following up on the initial call for financial help, in which he shares that he had been on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for eight months and “[has] been intensely pleased with it.”

He goes on to say that due to his hormone therapy, he is feeling “better physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually [and] sexually,” continuing by writing: “I’m not a predator, I’m just a woman who happens to be super tall and hot.”

He also shared that in response to asking for financial help due to unemployment, “I’ve already gotten more than enough donations from some very generous people, but i’ll drop my c*shapp ( $seajay ) down here again if you’re bored and want to give me money for some reason?”

Later in 2021, Lamere posted a screenshot of a message from Facebook which stated that Lamere could not change his Facebook name again as he had already done so in the past 60 days. He said in the caption “my names Lydia now…sorry im trans lol,” and one user commented “It really is unfortunate and messed up that they don’t allow name changes more often.”

He also posted photos of himself “before progesterone” and “4 months [on] progesterone,” with the comment “very problematic of me to base my assessment of my own femininity on my tits.”

Lamere is not the first trans-identified male teacher in the United States to become the subject of safeguarding concerns.

Last year, Reduxx reported that a trans-identified male high school teacher in Anne Arundel County, Maryland was placed on indefinite leave after troubling information surfaced regarding his conduct with students.

Willa Hoard, also known as “Billie” was a social studies teacher at Chesapeake High School and ran the school’s GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) Organization.

Hoard’s classroom was labelled a “safe space” for “LGBTQ+ students” by the school at the direction of the GSA. So regardless of if a student was in class or not, if they reported to a teacher that they needed a “safe space,” they could go to Hoard’s classroom.

But on November 2, disturbing video footage began circulating on Twitter from inside Hoard’s classroom. The videos originated on Facebook, first posted by a concerned mother.

In one video, two students are seen laying on the ground together, with one grinding on or humping the other in the middle of a class lecture. Another clip shows one student sucking at the stomach of another student. Both clips took place while Hoard was present in the room, apparently unconcerned by the behavior.

But the sexual behavior Hoard allowed in his class was just one of many disturbing components of the story. Hoard had apparently been communicating with students through unmonitored channels, in flagrant violation of safeguarding ethics. In some screenshots, students are seen referring to Hoard as “mom” or “mother.”

Although Hoard is not allowed on school grounds, there has been speculation that students have maintained contact with him through private channels.

He remains active on TikTok and has apparently encouraged graduating students to message him directly on Instagram.

By Yuliah Alma Yuliah is a junior researcher and journalist at Reduxx. She is a passionate advocate for women's rights and child safeguarding. Yuliah lives on the American east coast, and is an avid reader and book collector.

#Portland #Maine #king Middle School #Lydia Lamere is Chris Lamere #Of course the TIM who shares his social media info with student talked about kink

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braemjeorn · 1 year

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CHAPTER IX [masterlist]

pairing: bang chan x ofc

genre: general audience

notes/warning: regency period drama; ballrooms; dancing!

wordcount: 2.1k

summary: the night can lend to a new angle of perception

also available in ao3, if you prefer that format

⚠️ All characters that shares the name of real life person in this story are represented in a fictional manner for entertainment purpose, and not to be alluded with real life.

TAGLIST: @spookykryptoniteperson @nixtape-foryou @do-you-know-what-else-is-big

[The dance scene was from Emma 2020 if you ever get confused by the motion descriptions.]

Mari led the boys out to the terrace after dinner. The meals rendered them sedate enough but not too fatigued that they’d fuss. For now, they were content to peer through the glass doors, meeting their father’s winking eyes as he escorted an older lady down the dancing line. If it ceased to entertain them, they’d run about Mari on her bench or chase each other, being merry in their games.

“Oh, Miss Son, how could you read so?” Hyunjin exclaimed, sitting beside her, breathless after escaping Jeongin’s chase.

“For an odd reason I found my time to read now,” Mari replied, settling down her book. “I have things to do in the day and to help in the afternoons. Then the drawing-room assemblies are too vivacious with all your chatter and music, and my nights are too tiring!”

“But it’s a ball!” Hyunjin insisted, giggling when Mari frowned at his lilting tone. Her hand brushed into his rustled hair, “And what a grand party it is. So many people are here.”

Lady Jang had mentioned how nice it would be to allow the young ladies and gentlemen of the village to mingle. With her novel appearance in the country, the number of invitations had been a success. At least twenty families making up their neighbours accepted. Others came from farther up north or towards the east. Barlnshore was never so lively: bright in a thousand candles, dancing, and music. One can attest to Baroness Jang's competence as a hostess.

“Miss Son, you should dance!” Hyunjin exclaimed.

“Governesses don’t dance, Hyunnie,” Mari laughed.

“‘Tis a waste of your lovely dress!” the boy whined again, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Purple is very beautiful on you.”

“Why, thank you. I think so myself.” Mrs Moon had insisted Mari wear the dress; old but of such fine satin and muslin. The governess was reluctant. Her eyes delighted in it but felt the dress was too rich for her station. It is in plain purple, with bulbous sleeves at the top, and fitting down her wrist. In the end, Minatozaki-san insisted. She might as well have something nice to wear for the ball instead of her plain cotton and linens. Mari should consider it a gift for her hard work. Might as well make it some sort of welcoming gift to the family. In the end, the governess relented; privately her vanity and confidence were pleased as the older women praised how well the dress suited her.

”Though it’s hardly the mode,” Jisung observed, having approached with his twin.

Hyunjin shrugged, “Still lovelier than her grey dresses.”

“Then stop being a cat by pressing to her side and wrinkle her sleeve so,” said the approaching Minho. Hyunjin let out his tongue—and was jabbed in the ribs by the eldest. Seungmin crashed into Mari's lap in the scuffle.

“Miss Son, I want to dance,” he declared, muffled in her lap.

“I don’t see why not,” she sighed, on her way to relenting. Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin had asked for dancing lessons with her since two weeks ago.

“There’s no partner your age, Mong,” Minho said. Hyunjin had had a thorough reprimanding and stilled the elder’s hand in his grip. “No child would be allowed to a party.”

“Should we invite our cousins the Hwas then?” Hyunjin asked.

“We can only see them during the holidays,” Minho replied.

“If they don’t live far away, we can have a little party at the twin’s birthday, or Seungmin’s,” Mari offered. “You can dance and play in the gardens.”

One set was finished in the ballroom and claps followed the final tune.

“That was a beautiful picture,” she mused about the view into the window, joining to clap as well.

“Miss Son, they’re doing the waltz next!” Hyunjin murmured. With some flourish, he stood before her and bowed, “May I have the honour, Miss Son? Please?”

Changbin cooed and Minho cackled; the others giggled. With a twinkle in his eyes, Mari tilted her chin, and offered her hand, “I hope you know the steps well, Master Hyunjin.”

“But you’ve taught me a little, haven’t you?”

“Very well then! You’re in luck; this is one of my favourites. Come!” Mari led them to the open terrace, circled by rose shrubs.

“Well now, the customary greetings — ” Hyunjin bowed, and she curtsied “ — Well done. Now, our right hands together— Very good and… step forward slightly, with a sway. Now the lady is supposed to turn under...—”

“Try Miss Son?” Mari conceded, crouching herself awkwardly in the replication.

“The other hand, now,” she chuckled. “Sway, and—your turn…”

“Appa!” Yongbok exclaimed.

Mari and Hyunjin paused, turning towards the door. Commodore Bang waved a hand over at his boys from the terrace door, an amused smile in place. He approached the pair, who bowed and explained their predicament.

“Then allow me?” Commodore Bang offered his hand to Mari. She stared at him and in finding his warm eyes, felt no hesitation to rest her hand in his.

“A demonstration, Hyunjin, do well to remember it,” said the Commodore

“All right!”

Commodore Bang led her a few steps further, the same moment the violinist began the new song.

“You like this song?” he asked as a smile broke through Mari.

“I do.” They sway forward again, coming close to one another, twice with exchanged hands. It needed no saying that by such affination Mari was well accustomed to the steps. The hold was released, but Commodore Bang offered it again, to turn her around so that she now stands where he was. By then Mari was already quite giddy with the motions.

“I’m sorry,” she said between her chuckles, pleasure rushing from sheer dancing. It had been some while, but Mari knew how to comport herself to a graceful dancer. They lay their hands over one another between them, turning in circles. Commodore Bang then held her hand and raised it over her head so that she might turn under, now in a proper manner. The turns relieved her—when they stepped away to turn with the nonexistent other pair. The Commodore stared as she couldn’t seem to curb her smile. So Mari took a deep breath, more composed to face him again, letting him lead her under the turn again to the other side.

They faced one another again, exchanged a little bow, and together they stepped up the line before settling then clapped their hands to the beat. Mari curtsied, rising back with her elbow up and her hand before her, which the Commodore crossed with his. Another sway to the left side—Commodore Bang extended his hands that their hands held before and behind their waists. The warm candlelight fell over his face as they turned, illuminating his eyes and smile.

The change in his manners had awed Mari, often leaving her bewildered. Whatever happened to the man who dressed in nothing but black and dark shades; with hard eyes and a down-turned mouth?—Now his waistcoat was covered in small blue blossoms, and he was dancing! And how well he does it! He was graceful, and never out of pace; with gentle, easy hands leading her to turns.

Mari saw him earlier with Lady Jang, he had opened it sprightly with the cotillion. But of course, Lady Bang had been a proficient musician—Mari supposed they would have shared the interest. She was happy for him, that his heart was in such a light state for such entertainment.

“Oh, forgive me!” Her occupied thoughts made her miss descending the line again. But the Commodore led her through it, then they faced one another again. Her mind was vacant of the next step, but he offered his hand before her mortification could surge. They swayed forwards once, and then he moved his palm to her waist and took her hand, turning them both.

The tune stopped, and so it ended. Commodore Bang's brown eyes — golden in the light — seemed too close to hers. Mari shifted from her stunned stance; he released her. She stepped away, holding her hand to her thumping breast, laughing out the nerves.

“Enjoyed it?”

“Very much, sir” Mari nodded. “Oh, I had forgotten how pleasant it can be.”

There were claps from the boys, and Mari’s hand raised to cover her cheeks. Commodore Bang joined the claps, and somehow her heart was full. His eyes maintained a pleased glint when she looked at him. Their exchanged smiles pulled out laughter, which scrunched his eyes and showed his glinting teeth.

“Thank you,” Mari said. She bowed to him, grateful that he had attended her most kindly—most gentlemanly. Commodore Bang gave her a bow.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he replied.

By that time the boys began to scramble close to them, and he turned to wrestle them into his hold.

“In other occasions, you might have enjoyed the company of more suitable partners,” Commodore Bang remarked. Seungmin had been wrangled to stay between his legs.

Mari shook her head. “Nay, Commodore, these seven rascals are enough alternatives.”

“Aren’t you dizzy?” Seungmin asked.

“You turned around lots,” Yongbok added.

“My turn again?” Hyunjin asked, already reaching to lead Mari's hand.

Commodore Bang shook his head. “I’m afraid it’s bedtime, petit danseur.”

“It can’t be!” cried the boy in despair as his father showed his watch.

“Quite right, we must say goodnight.” Mari ushered them to bid goodnights, then approached Jeongin. He's slumped against a beady-eyed, quiet Minho.

“What’s that whine, lad?” Mari asked the youngest. “Tired or tired?”

“Miss Son,” Jeongin giggled and merely reached out his hand when Mari prompted him to stand. Her response was a blase stare, but she gave him her hand and led him to bid his father goodnight. Commodore Bang pulled him up, almost throwing him into the air.

“My Jeongin’s a big boy now, hmm?” he gushes, brushing over the boy's shaking head. “No?”

“I’m still small,” Jeongin stated, nuzzling under his chin.

“Indeed that you are,” Commodore Bang nosed his soft black hair and gave him his peck. “Goodnight, cub.”

Jeongin hummed, and his head lolled towards Mari, arms extended. The governess sighed; Commodore Bang chuckled.

“Aish, to think you’re almost six.” Jeongin was transferred to her hold, but Mari hardly bothered to fix her hold and settled him the way he came.

“You’ve danced quite a bit in a single night,” Lady Jang said to the Commodore, who followed a few steps away from his boys. "More than I've seen in a single night."

“Miss Son, he’s all tilted!” Jisung giggled, coming close to touch Jeongin’s head, lower than his legs. Among further giggles and teasing, Mari set the youngest right on the floor, and then shooed the others inside. Lady Jang was by the glass door, in the entire regality of her deep mauve gown watching the view. Each of them bid her goodnight, before crossing the room to reach the main stairs.

He tucked her arms under his, leading her into the dining room. “Mustn't I be the gracious host, and attend to my guests? You've set the example, after all, dear Anette.”

“What’s with your face?” Changbin asked for Minho had looked quite the simpleton. He was giggling with wide eyes, despite restraining himself to appear composed among the guests.

Lady Jang gave and said no more but a smile, though she observed him a great deal as they returned inside.

“What?” the eldest returned, guiltless.

“You look as if someone struck you with a pie, yet it fell upon your legs instead; so now you laugh because you know not whether to be angry or to find it entirely stupid, therefore—”

Minho cackled like a witch at the allegory, at which many heads turn. Changbin gave them his sweetest smile, hoping to bide their attention. He pulled Minho closer as they climbed the stair— none too gently. It has been long since such enthusiasm overcame the eldest, and Changbin knew the particulars well.

“Please consult me on this mischief—I must grant some consideration to your random schemes, as usual.”

“Oh no, indeed!” Minho hiccuped, without depleting amusement. “’Tis no mischief. Absolutely not! But it is equally amusing.”

Changbin’s intrigue gave him some pause, but soon he demanded, “Tell me.”

“No.”

Now that is unacceptable. “Hyung!”

“No.”

“Hyung…!”

“Boys!” Mari sharply cut the whine. One must separate the terrors which are Changbin and Minho, before their raised voices and their aggravated conversation disturb others. “Anything the matter?”

“Nothing!” both exclaimed. With a note to their guileless face, Mari turned away, ushering the twins from their scheming.

“In further contemplation it might even be dangerous to divulge,” Minho considered, his face falling grave.

“You went from amusing to dangerous—!?”

Minho's hand covered the younger's mouth, and he retrieved it with a yelp when it was kissed. Changbin gestures two fingers to his own eyes, then to Minho’s, insistent till the end.

“Get to sleep, brat," Minho hissed, urging the other into their room. "The thought might simmer more sensibly tomorrow."

[OKAY IM SORRY THIS IS LATE BY AEONS BUT DISASTER HAPPENED AND I THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR BUT HERE—what do you think of our babies, they got a dance scene ^♡^!!]

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homespun-stories · 2 months

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Where Will The Baby Go?

For something that weighs around three kilos and measures in the region of 50cm, newborn babies sure do take up a lot of space. A little shy of three weeks ago, we brought our second baby back home—the same home we had brought back our first, just over four years ago. Many things have changed since then, not least the number of grey hairs on my head, but the one thing that has remained resolutely unchanged is the footprint of our apartment.

The fact of this sat with me all through 2022 and 2023, as my husband and I journeyed down the path of growing our family and all the complexities (read: hope, loss, love) that kind of process often entails. But where will the baby go? I'd silently fret to myself before I was even sure I’d have a baby at all to hold in my arms again. Objectively speaking we live in a small apartment, with enough bedrooms for two-thirds of the current occupants, excusing our enormous house cat who cares not for doors or boundaries and considers any available surface her territory for a hard-earned nap. To be honest, I’d welcome that kind of laissez-faire approach to our sleeping arrangements, flopping from sofa to bed to rug, but social conditioning and my extremely Type A personality requires routines and structure. No, the baby would need a bed, just like the rest of us, and we would need to work out where that bed was going to go.

It’s a profoundly modern and Western phenomenon, this suggestion that each individual requires their own bedroom or even their own bed. In the majority of countries around the world, co-sleeping and room sharing between parents and children is the standard practice of care, to the extent that it would be considered completely unreasonable to expect a child (let alone a baby) to sleep alone. In Japan, where co-sleeping ranks the highest in the world, sleep is described as a river, with the parents occupying the banks and the child as the flowing water held safely between. We co-slept with our daughter for the first six months of her life, although it wasn’t in the formation of a river but more like a motorbike (our bed) with a sidecar (her crib). Given the grunts, hoots and whistles she regularly emitted as she dozed, this analogy feels more apt than the backdrop of a babbling brook. In any instance, she was never more than an arm’s reach away during those thick, dark nights when every insane sound she made was heightened in the silence of a slumbering home. After that, we moved her into The Baby’s Room which we had decorated and furnished with playful odds and sods that said more about our whimsy of being parents than they did of any perceived personality trait of our child. It’s a curious thing, to decorate a room that someone else will occupy, without knowing a single thing about their tastes or interests.

The Baby’s Room had also been our study until that point, and when the time came to move the desk into the front room to make way for a changing table and crib, I felt slightly undone. I was ready to acknowledge that parenthood would come with an exchange of gains and losses, but there was something so bluntly literal about the act of becoming a mother that it necessitated my giving up a private place to write. I guess it’s a variation of that oft-debated line from Cyril Connelly: “There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hallway." The irony is that it was only once my daughter was born that I found the capacity within myself to put pen to paper in a more expansive way, and during my maternity leave I wrote the first draft of a book proposal. Perhaps it’s an even greater irony that four years later I am writing these words whilst my son is wailing in the room next door, as my husband tries to rock him to sleep. Perhaps, like nature, art will always find a way.

One of the consequences of giving up our study in place of The Baby’s Room, was the associated shame (entirely on my part) that came with living in a home that appeared too small for all our needs and wants. I come from a country that places a great deal of emphasis on the Family Home, variations of which most of my peers now live in and are currently extending, remodelling or digging out extensive basements underneath. Family Homes have a garden, enough bedrooms for everyone, a guest room, more than one bathroom, and the kinds of open plan kitchen-cum-dining rooms that are increasingly of a single aesthetic that populates all our Instagram feeds. Family Homes tend to come with their own social media accounts, so we can follow our friends’ #HomeReno updates and post fire emojis under pictures of construction sites. I have spent a good many years reflecting on what makes us feel good, mad and sad about home, and I can tell you that the insidious rise of interior design content which is beyond the skills and budget of the overwhelming majority is making a lot of us fucking miserable about our living situations.

After a while, the question of where will the baby go stopped masquerading as a concern about where, practically, the baby will sleep, and revealed itself for what it was: a shameful desire to meet some kind of social norm as a Family of Four. This revelation came to me in the winter of 2022, after a shockingly awful year pockmarked by loss. During this time we had tried, and failed, to sell our apartment and buy a house. For nine long months our home sat on the market, and most weekends we spent our free time cleaning and decluttering so the estate agent could bring one or two people over for a viewing that never materialised into anything other than a pass. That weekend, in early December, when we pulled our home off the market and accepted our fate, I wept. It was another grief, of sorts—the ambiguous loss of a life I had imagined in our new house; one with enough potential to become a Family Home.

These days, when I’m feeling a bit out of sorts at home and in need of a reset, I roam around the apartment and find things to fix or do—packing toys away in their rightful boxes, folding laundry, changing lightbulbs, that kind of thing. Invariably, I’ll end up standing in my daughter’s room gazing at all the things that make this space sing with her personality that we could never have anticipated when we picked out paint colours—the paintings bluetacked at a wonky angle on the wall, the rock and gravel collection, the basket of teddies, the plastic box stuffed with countless beaded bracelets she’s made for us all. I can’t even remember what it looked like when it was a study, and I don’t care any more. I didn’t lose anything when I moved my desk out, because it was never a trade to begin with. The day we turned that room into our daughter’s bedroom, we simply dialled up the joy in our lives. I couldn’t see it for a long time, but now I know that I’ve been living in a Family Home all along.

So where will the baby go now that we are four and our home is still, resolutely, the same size as before? He’ll go right here, of course—with us.

#lifeathome #feelslikehome #space

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monasteryicons · 4 months

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Religion Could Be A Miracle Drug - Church attendance is correlated with longer life and a sense of meaning.

If one could conceive of a single elixir to improve the physical and mental health of millions of Americans — at no personal cost — what value would our society place on it?

Going a step further, if research quite conclusively showed that when consumed just once a week, this concoction would reduce mortality by 20% to 30% over a 15-year period, how urgently would we want to make it publicly available? The good news is that this miracle drug — religion, and more specifically, regular church attendance — is already in reach of most Americans. In fact, there’s a good chance it’s just a short drive away.

Indeed, health and religion are very much connected. Professor VanderWeele’s new research with colleagues at Harvard University — building on more than 20 years of prior work in this area — suggests that attending religious services brings about better physical and mental health. Adults who do so at least once a week versus not at all have been shown to have a significantly lower risk of dying over the next decade and a half. The results have been replicated in enough studies and populations to be considered quite reliable.

This science does not endorse one faith over another or suggest what society is to do with such information. But there are two opportunities — one societal and one personal — for good to come from this work. The news media, the academy and the broader public could use this new understanding to weigh religion’s greater societal value. And for individuals, this research provides a not-so-subtle invitation to reconsider what religion can do for them.

The Health Benefits

Nearly half of the country — roughly 2 in 5 Americans — reports having attended a religious service in the past week. The draw for many may be meaningful liturgy, perhaps a sense of forgiveness and ultimately, salvation. Few would say they come for good health. Why might attending services improve one’s health? The Nurses' Health Study finds that social support is critical, yet this accounts for only about a quarter of the effect. Other mechanisms seem to be important as well, possibly due to behavioral norms at services. For instance, those attending are less likely to smoke, or more likely to quit altogether, producing significant health benefits.

Religious service attendance affects mental health, too. The research at Harvard and elsewhere indicates that, possibly due to a message of faith or hope, those who attend services are more optimistic and have lower rates of depression. The research from Harvard has also shown that attendance protects against suicide. Others have found that churchgoers report having a greater purpose in life and develop more self-control — both mechanisms by which service attendance might affect health.

Today, a greater percentage of Americans are choosing no religion at all, and we are witnessing the erosion of religious institutions. For some, church attendance is seen as quaint and outdated, and “spirituality” has become a code word for, “No thanks, I’m sleeping in on Sunday.” What this go-it-alone movement will usher out, it seems, is the benefits of being in the pews. After all, the research has shown that service attendance, rather than private spirituality or solitary practice, strongly predicts health. Something about communal religious participation appears to be essential.

Religion’s Better Angels

What to make of all this? First, the associations between religion and health should force us to reevaluate religion’s role in society and public life. Religion is often perceived negatively today, and at times it’s well earned. But the effects of religious participation are often profoundly positive, a point too often neglected or ignored. The health benefits can be added to a long list of virtues found with an active religious life.

Attending religious services has been shown to increase the likelihood of a stable marriage, to elevate one’s sense of meaning, and to expand one’s social network. It leads to greater charitable giving and more robust volunteering and civic engagement. The effects are profound across numerous domains of life. This has important implications for the extent to which society promotes and protects religious institutions, the maintenance of their nonprofit tax-exempt status, and how the contribution of such institutions is portrayed in the media, the academy, and beyond.

Who could possibly conceive of such an elixir, one that stands to change society in ways small and large, subtle and profound? We’ll leave that question to a higher power.

by Tyler J. VanderWeele of Harvard University and John Siniff

#church #catholic #orthodox #worship

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ailtrahq · 9 months

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Bold plans for a non-fungible token linked restaurant and private members lounge in San Francisco have come to an abrupt end, after the company behind the project halted construction due to challenging macroeconomic factors. The two venues were being built on Salesforce Park, and were going to be dubbed the “Sho Restaurant” and “Sho Club Sky Lounge.” The latter was only going to be accessible to holders of the Sho Club NFTs, which Cost anywhere from $7,500 to $300,000, and offered access to other future Sho Group hospitality offerings. Speaking with San Francisco-focused News website SFGATE on Sept. 7, Sho Group CEO Joshua Sigel stated that it was no longer possible to build the project, and confirmed that the company ended its lease agreement in July. Early rendition of the restaurant and members lounge. Source: Sho Group.The CEO noted that: “Despite a strong demand for the concept with millions of dollars in both pre-sold and reserved memberships [...] we ultimately could not address the many concerns brought about by potential investors, most of which have been around the future of SF and the rising costs of constructing the restaurant.”Sigel went on to highlight difficult macro factors that ended up making construction costs too expensive such as “labor shortages, supply chain disruptions, geopolitical uncertainty, and inflation.” Sigel says Sho Group has refunded everyone who bought the NFTs. Binance NFT ends support for Polygon Binance’s NFT marketplace suddenly announced that it will soon wind down support for Polygon-based NFTs, but did not provide a clear explanation as to why. In a Sept. 8 blog post, Binance NFT Updates-on-the-sandbox-nft-staking-program-and-polygon-network-support-accd8386f2b64a27a880894437c76089" target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow">stated that it will be discontinuing its The Sandbox NFT Staking Program later this month, citing a decision to streamline product offerings on the platform. The program allows users to stake their Polygon-based LAND NFTs from The Sandbox to earn SAND token rewards, however it will officially shut down as of Sept. 26. Users will have their NFTs automatically unstaked and returned to the spot wallets. As part of the closure of the program, Binance NFT also stated that support for the Polygon network will come to an end on the same day, with users being given until Dec. 31 to withdraw all their Polygon NFTs from the marketplace. Explaining the move, all Binance NFT stated was that “more details will be provided to impacted users at a later date.”Announcement. Source: Binance NFT.Reddit launches NFL NFTsTo celebrate the new NFL season that kicked off this week, NFT-friendly social media platform Reddit launched NFL-themed NFT avatar collectibles. TODAY IS THE DAY Introducing NFL #RedditCollectibles for all 32 @NFL teams (limited to 500 units per team). Draft yours now! #NFLxReddit #2023NFLKickoff pic.twitter.com/WOjRagyJmv— Reddit (@Reddit) September 6, 2023 The collection was launched on Sept. 7 and covers all 32 teams. The NFTs are being sold for $25 a pop and the artwork depicts the Reddit Snoo mascot wearing the various uniforms. There are 500 tokens available per team, however at the time of writing it appears that many of the sets have more than 400 NFTs still available, suggesting there hasn’t been any rush to snap them up yet. Reaction to the announcement on r/CollectibleAvatars. Source: RedditRumble Kong League x StanceAs part of a partnership with NBA star Paul George and popular sock, underwear and T-Shirt brand Stance, NFT project Rumble Kong League has dropped phygital basketball socks. The drop is part of a broader collaborative project dubbed Hyper Socks, which will eventually see the launch of a 3v3 basketball game with play-to-earn features. The first stage of the project saw the sale of tokenized socks that can be used in the upcoming game. In a Sept. 8 announcement, the Rumble Kong League team kicked off stage two by opening up the sale of 250 boxes

of physical Stance sox, that are themed with the cartoon gorilla avatars from the project. Two legends in their field, joining forces to create greatness.The RKL x @Stance HyperSocks are live!Top performance rare fur quality that'll create a spark on any basketball court.Only 250 available! Grab your box before they're gone! pic.twitter.com/3rQXtTtciI— Rumble Kong League (@RumbleKongs) September 8, 2023 The partnership marks a significant mainstream partnership for the project, considering Stance’s ties to the NBA and other pro sports leagues. Other Nifty News:The team behind NFT project OnChainMonkey is shifting its entire collection of 10,000 NFTs from Ethereum to bitcoin, in a massive undertaking expected to take several months. The Base network’s “Onchain Summer” promotion in August resulted in over 700,000 NFTs minted by over 268,000 unique wallets, according to a Sept. 6 announcement from the team.

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sokoloffweinstein · 2 years

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Palm Beach County Personal Injury Lawyer

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#personal injury attorney #lawyer #car accident attorney #attorney #auto accident attorney

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albrechtsenalbrechtsen88 · 2 years

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Jisoo's Micro Girl Dior Bag Is The Cutest Accent

I was reading a couple of reviews of the Caro bag and many people complained about how the Caro bag loses its form and the bottom of the bag begins to sag. Another deserving Dior bag to make the listing of the top 5 Dior luggage worth investing in is the Dior Saddle Bag. Designed in 1999, it made its debut on the runway in 2000. Every merchandise that passes via our doors is checked by way of quite a few protocols for quality and authenticity. Your first email might be delivered to your inbox shortly. Thank you for registering to ArtFixDaily's Email Newsletter. https://skel.io/dior-replica.html Following Miami's frenzied week of art gross sales and a parallel race to capitalize on the NFT craze, Japanese pop artist ... The classic Lady Dior bag has architectural attraction with refined Cannage quilting and is well adapted to any occasion with availability in multiple sizes. For a playful touch, Dior's wanted saddle bag features a myriad of materials molded into a distinctly equestrian form, often whimsically topped by a steel "D" stirrup. I largely agree with you, however I do love my blue giant monogram Dior tote. Its easy shape serves as a clean canvas for closely embroidered textiles that includes the Dior emblem, the home toile, and even a private monogram. Sizes vary from mini to large, and there’s even a vertical form for, say, carrying round a journal or two. Even the classic Dior Saddle bags are selling for a premium on the preloved market. A relatively new Dior purse that is value investing in is the Dior Book tote bag. Launched by Maria Grazia Chiuri in 2018 the Dior guide tote bag drew inspiration from a drawing found in the Dior archives by Marc Bohan. It appears to me the 2021s are beginning to resemble the early 2000s in phrases of designer purses. The Dior Saddle bag was in all places in the early 2000s. The House of Dior remains to be a well-respected luxurious model that gives a ready-to-wear and couture assortment along with leather items. Sometimes you don’t need to be within the driver’s seat and Dior’s Belt Bag lets you go hands-free. This grey steel calfskin bag captures the sophisticated aesthetic of the style house and combines it with the freedom found in your commonplace belt. No matter whether you pair it with a mini skirt or denim shorts come competition season, this bag is for many who want to give it all and boogie hands-free. Don’t be too fussed should you don’t get a card when buying second-hand, as most preloved luggage is not going to come with this card or the booklet. Too, having the booklet and the authenticity card does not guarantee authenticity as this stuff usually are not attached to the bag. This method when you ought to ever should promote the bag you've the choice to get at least 80% of what you paid . The second being that it has been popular for a number of years, even if it goes out of favor momentarily will probably be back in style at some point. I even have to offer Dior a round of applause, for the final decade, Dior has been engaged on rebranding their name and appealing to a more modern lady. Flap luggage like this Miss Dior won't ever go out of style. Crafted from leather-based, this Dior bag contains a crimson purple Cannage quilted exterior and a chain-link strap. Combining basic elegance with Dior’s penchant for modernity, the medium Lady D-Lite Bag embodies summer enjoyable. After the success of the Book Tote, the French fashion home treated us to a smaller iteration of the bag. Constructed with the same sturdy body, the Mini Tote offers a structured silhouette ideal for carrying books, or, you understand, day by day requirements. As our beauty routines evolve, it’s only pure that our makeup baggage do as well—calling Dior’s Vanity Case. Fresh from Dior’s Spring/Summer capsule collection , this bag is the epitome of sun-soaked trip days, ones that will soon be a reality. The self-importance case’s multicolor striped embroidery is paying homage to sand dunes and exotic adventures, the kind of places the place our greatest selves rise to the floor. Its extensive inside means you don’t have to compromise on your beauty essentials and the colorful design will make you need to unpack it the second you step inside your villa. Dior baggage have to be worthy of carrying the name of its design house. And the Queen is never seen with out certainly one of her tons of of Launer luggage – the identical style Margaret Thatcher used as a political weapon (transforming the word ‘handbag’ into a verb). wikipedia handbags Impossible to find collectors saddle bag - a stylists dream ! Tiny spot in front and some bends in leather Comes with authenticity card and dust bag A... The bag comes in a luxurious coated canvas and leather-based Cannage exterior with silver-tone hardware and Dior letter charms.

#dior replica #replica dior saddle bag #fake dior bag #dior sauvage fake #dior saddle bag fake

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enchantestuff · 3 years

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miscommunication - charles leclerc

in which your Pierres little sister and reap the consequences after an eventful night in Monaco with his best friend

I think I'm going to make this into a series, like 3 more parts maybe??

part two

GIF NOT MINE!!!

warnings: smut, my failed attempt at angst (I tried), language, em yeah

3k words (I have no idea how that happened)

You had known Charles for years, which wasn't particularly surprising considering you were Pierres little sister.

When you were little you envied their friendship, constantly trying to insert yourself in their games and conversations. You had lost count of the amount of times they slammed a door in your face, demanding you to leave them alone. You hadn’t realised how annoying you were being as you followed them around everywhere, even if Pierre had scolded you for it each day.

When you were a teenager, Pierre purposely kept Charles away from you, telling him that if he even looked in your direction he wouldn't hesitate to end their friendship. You, of course, had no idea of the threat not that it mattered as you didn't paid any attention to the infamous duo during those few years, living in your own little world full of clothes , friends and different boys.

Now, however, you were an adult and all you wanted to do was support your brother throughout his career. In recent years you had gone to as many races as you physically could, but of course you had your own job and unfortunately didn’t have the time to attend any race this season.

Pierre was disappointed, he loved having you there to support him, but he understood that you had your own life and never placed any blame on you. After years of the two of you constantly ignoring each other and bickering, you had finally begun to act like siblings and all he wanted to do was make up for lost time.

You had thankfully gotten three weeks off work - well they weren’t necessarily weeks off as you still had to do your job, but your boss insisted that there was no need for you to trek to the office everyday when you were perfectly capable of doing the work at home on your laptop. The timing couldn't have been better with the triple header just around the corner, it almost seemed like a miracle and you were gonna enjoy every minute of it.

You grinned as you texted your brother.

Any spare tickets to the race :)

He replied almost immediately.

You're kidding, which one?

All of them?

Your texting was cut off by Pierres contact photo appearing on your phone. You answered instantly only to hear Pierre screaming through your speakers, he also slipped in a few delighted curse words before finally letting you talk.

“My boss gave me the next three weeks off so I’m going to go support my favourite brother” you grinned.

“Your only brother” he remarked and you could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

You spent the next few hours catching up and retelling pointless stories. You had gone to sleep with a lazy smile on your face and woke up the next morning to a text from Pierre, telling you that he had organized your passes for the three weekends as well as the flights, all you had to do was find a hotel. He slipped in the name of the hotel that he was staying at, and to your luck there was still room available. Now all that was left to do was wait.

You grinned giddy as you stepped off the plane and walked toward the baggage collection area, excited to finally get back to watching races in person. You rubbed your eyes in surprise when you spotted your brother waiting for you. “Pierre?” you screamed delightly, running up to him and pushing his body into a bone crushing hug. It felt like you hadn’t seen him in forever even if it was only a few months.

“Bonjour,” he laughed as he hugged you back.

“I thought you were busy all day today” you exclaimed once you pulled away from him.

He sheepishly shrugged at you with a lazy grin on his face. “I may have lied, are you ready to go?”

You nodded your head at him and for the first time in a long time your mind drifted towards your brother's best friend, Charles, who you hadn’t spoken to since an eventful night in Monaco a few months ago.

You cursed yourself as you thought back to that very moment.

Charles was having a party at his lovely home, you can't remember now what you were celebrating but everyone was ecstatic. You could hear the music from across the street and you knew before you even entered the house that it was going to be a night to remember.

The moment you stepped foot inside you were surrounded by multiple drunk people, all with large grins and hooded eyes plastered on them and you laughed as almost everyone stumbled around the house.

You spotted your brother in the middle of the room dancing with a pretty blonde, he had a goofy smile on his face and you knew from that sight of him alone that he was wasted. You were the only sober person there, at least that's what you thought until Charles had made his way to you with two cups in his hand, alcohol for you and water for him.

“I thought you were celebrating,” you mused as you took a sip of the dark liquor.

“Someone needs to keep these drunk idiots in check,” he joked.

“Well in that case” you said as you handed your drink to a stranger and took a sip of his water instead. You laughed at the bewildered look he threw your way before continuing, “I'm not going to let you tackle this party alone.” The smile that formed on Charles was genuine and your breath hitched in your throat at the sight.

You surprisingly enjoyed yourself the whole night, maybe that was because you knew everyone there, but most likely it was because you spent the whole night with Charles.

A few hours into the party he turned to you asking to dance, you didn't even hesitate to say yes, nerves surrounded you immediately and they only got worse when his hands dipped dangerously low on your hips. Your eyes automatically searched for Pierre and you left out a sigh of relief when you couldn't find him anywhere.

The thought of getting caught fueled both you and Charles, so when he spun you around to face him neither of you hesitated to connect your lips. You considered yourself lucky that everyone around you was too drunk to notice your heated make out and used it to your advantage. You pulled him even closer to you, moaning in his ear when he grabbed your bum and giggling at the whimper he let out.

You felt dizzy. The fact that you were both sober made your first kiss even more real.

You were anxious when he asked you if you wanted to go somewhere more private but agreed nevertheless, hoping that maybe he had wanted you for as long as you had wanted him.

He had tenderly kissed you again once he closed the door behind him.

“God, you have no idea how long i've waited to do this,” he moaned in your ear and although you knew that was just something people said in the heat of the moment, you let yourself believe it. You let yourself believe every single word that left his lips and got even more attached to the moment.

You revealed a piece of yourself to him that night, not only a physical part, but a part of your heart as you admitted your deepest secrets to him. “Fuck, Charles, I’ve always wanted you,” you moaned when he gently placed you on the bed.

You attached yourself to the kisses he placed all over your body, you paid attention to every bit of affection that he showed you, never once wanting him to stop. When he positioned himself next to you and asked if you were sure you told him there was nothing you've ever been more sure about.

You had both simultaneously moaned when he entered you, laughing at each other afterwards, which made your heart flutter. He was Charles, your brothers best friend and yet sex with him felt so natural.

He placed a tender kiss to your chest before he started moving and you couldn't help but hold him close to you, he didn't seem to mind however as he nested his head in the crook of your neck, letting you hear all the soft gasps and grunts that left his mouth.

You arched your back in pleasure when he reached the deepest parts inside you, your toes curled and your eyes rolled back and all you could think was God why didn't we do this sooner?

“Don't stop, please Charles, don't stop” you moaned in his ear, and if you weren't in a completely different world you would have noticed the shiver than ran down his entire body at your words.

“Trust me, mon amour, i never want to stop”

You weren't even aware of the moans the left your lips until Charles had grabbed your chin and looked at you with desperation written all over his face, “Merde, Y/N, i want more than anything to make this moment last but If you keep making those pretty little sounds you're gonna make me cum”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words “Shut me up then”

And he did, he grunted as he reconnected your lips, swallowing your moans and letting out his own in the process. From the kissing, to Charles’ moans and the rolling of his hips it didn't take you long to release the knot in your stomach.

You regretted it now, thinking back on it, it had completely ruined your friendship with Charles. Your daily silly texts to each other had ceased to exist, your weekly facetime calls had died and a piece of you had broken.

You didn’t expect any less, he was your brother's best friend and even though you always found him insanely attractive, you knew deep down he would have found your little crush on him weird. You always had the suspicion that he saw you as a little sister, and the way he completely ignored you after your hookup had proven them to be true.

You couldn't hate him, or even place the blame of your failed friendship on him as you also went out of your way to ignore him, something that you really regretted but couldn’t change.

“You alright?” Pierre asked as he grabbed your suitcase in his hand.

“Yeah sorry i - i don't know what happened to me there,” you choked out, walking alongside Pierre to his car.

“It's free practice tomorrow, you coming?” he asked once you were both sitting comfortably in his car.

“Yeah, of course” you nodded as you watched the tall buildings pass by in the window.

“Everyones misses you, you know?” he quickly glanced over at you while he drove, wondering what the hell you were thinking so hard about.

“Yep” you sighed, “Me too,” but all you could think about was the Ferrari driver and how awkward it would be to see him again

You had shut yourself in your hotel room for the rest of the night, the flight and overly long check in had taken all the remaining energy out of you and all you wanted to do was curl into the hotel bed and sleep for as long as you possibly could. So that's what you did, until Pierre rang your phone, telling you that he was leaving for free practice in half an hour, wondering if you needed lift, which of course you did you had mumbled to him while scrabbling out of the bed and running to your bathroom to take the quickest shower of your life.

You had somehow gotten ready in time and before you knew it you were walking around the paddock with Pierre next to you, basking in the glorious sun.

Pierre whistled in excitement when he spotted Charles walking out of the Ferrari motorhome. The brunette quickly turned at the sound, a smile forming on his face when he spotted Pierre, his eyebrows raising soon after as he finally noticed you next to him. Your heart beat loudly in your chest as he got closer and closer to you.

You stood firmly in your spot, uncertain if a hug would be too big of an action after months of silence between you both, quite frankly you didn’t even want to touch him, the pain that he had caused you cutting too deep. Unfortunately, he beamed at you and grabbed your hips, pulling you into his chest and rocking you both side to side.

“Hi,” you laughed, unwilling to cause a scene in front of your brother, you moved your arms to wrap around his neck.

“It's great to see you” he admitted when he pulled away and you felt your throat close up at his words. “I’ve missed you”

“I missed you too,” you smiled and although it wasn’t a lie, the words felt dirty leaving your lips. You shouldnt have missed him, not when he left you lying alone in his bed after you both had sex.

“God, you're acting like you haven't spoken to each other in months,” Pierre laughed, and you and Charles shared an awkward look with each other. The silence that followed was unbearable.

You cleared your throat as you looked around the paddock. “I'm going to get some water” you quickly spilled out and abruptly turned in the other direction, ignoring the confused look that Pierre shot in your direction. You had only taken a few steps when Charles grabbed your arm and pulled you behind a random building.

“Shh it's me” he flinched as you pushed yourself away from him, “it's me” he repeated looking at the bewildered expression on your face.

“You couldn’t have just talked to me like a normal human being?” you argued, “Did you really have to drag me behind a building?”

“I couldn't talk about you know what around you know who” he threw back and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Oh! You dont want to talk about us having sex infronf of Pierre” you snapped and he covered your mouth with his hand. You bit his hand and he gasped in response.

“You bit me!” he half shouted.

“You didn’t seem to mind last time” you commented , relishing in how flustered Charles had gotten.

“We need to talk about that” he choked out, looking absolutely anywhere except your eyes.

“Oh so now you want to talk about it?” you asked with an accusing tone to your voice, surpringing not only Charles but also yourself.

“I know it was a dick move, I just” he sighed “I didn’t know how to bring it up”

“How about maybe not leaving straight away? How about sending me a text explaining how you felt instead of leaving me in the dark for months? If you thought it was a mistake you could have just-”

“I didn't think it was a mistake”

You couldn't help the effect those words had on your heart, but suddenly you were even more furious, he was unintentionally playing with your heart and you didn't know how much more of it you could take.

“Then why didn't you tell me!”

You were frustrated and he wasn’t helping one bit. He had left it too late, the damage was done, you had spent months regretting your decision to climb into bed with him and a few words lazily strung together to form a sentence wasn't going to erase the emotional damage he caused you. It didn't matter anymore whether it was intentional or not

“I didn't want to ruin our friendship”

“That is the dumbest excuse I've ever heard!”

You could feel tears pricking your eyes and all you wanted to do was sob your heart out, but you refused to cry in front of him, you didn't want him to know the effect he had on you. “Look your late and i - i need to breathe”

You didn't give him a chance to reply as you ran away, unable to face the boy who broke your heart: the boy who had given you everything you could possibly want, only to snatch it out of your grasp.

You cursed yourself for getting attached to that moment because now, every time you closed your eyes, all you see was him panting on top of you and all you could feel was his lips on your skin. It was a memory that used to delight you but now all it brought was sadness and pain.

You knew your attachment issues would bring you pain one day, but only now as you crouched down next to some random building, did you realise it would be physical pain. You clawed at your neck in desperation. You couldn't breathe. Your tears were practically suffocating you and you couldn't help but think Charles' hands ripping your heart from your chest was the cause.

Unknowingly to you, Charles watched your retreating figure with tears forming behind his eyes. It had finally hit him how much he fucked things up. He thought he was doing the right thing, he thought maybe you needed space, maybe you would have regretted it.

He wore his heart on his sleeve that day, everything that he told you was true, he was just so scared. So scared that he would be left heartbroken, that his feelings were unrequited, that maybe, just maybe, you would be disgusted with yourself for what you two did.

He left early the next morning to hype himself up, to finally tell you about his feelings for you that had been bubbling around in his stomach for years, but when he returned to his bedroom you were gone.

He didn't realise how much waking up to an empty bed would affect you, just as much as you didnt realise how much leaving would affect him.

He was never good at communication, but it was so easy with you, so why didn't he pick up the phone? He had no excuse except that he was scared.

It was his fear that hurt him the most. It was his fear that broke your heart and that had hurt him so much more than he thought was possible.

#Charles leclerc imagine #Charles Leclerc x reader #forumla 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 x reader #charles leclerc #angst #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #Charles Leclerc smut #charles leclerc smut #formula 1 smut

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agustdakasuga · 3 years

Text

Reflection Of You | Chapter 1

Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU / Different Dimension, Romance

Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung

Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, going back to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover.

The nightmare the both of you feared had finally come true.

“Thank you, ARMY!”

“We’ll see you soon!”

“We love you forever! Goodnight!” You watched the monitor with proud eyes, your hands clasped together. After a long world tour, the boys had their final concert in Korea, their home country. You, along with the other staff, clapped as the 7 boys stepped off the stage.

“Good job!” There were exchanges of hugs and pats on the backs. Technically, you weren’t a member of staff, so you respected the distance, standing at the back of the crowd.

“There you are.” Someone said, almost like a sigh of relief.

“Great job, as always.” A smile slowly widened on your face as you opened your arms to hug him, resting your cheek against his peck.

“I’m sweaty.” Was all he said.

“Like I ever minded.” You chuckled, pulling away to look up at him. He gave a soft smile, leaning down to peck your lips. It was quick but endearing. You knew for him, doing that in public was already a large feat.

“Noona! You’re here!” You were yanked out of your beloved’s arms.

“Of course, Kookie. It’s the last show of the tour, I wouldn’t miss it.” You patted his head as he lifted you off the ground.

“Yah, look at the scowl on hyung’s face after you stole his girl.” Taehyung appeared, slinging his arm around your maknae’s neck. You giggled, shaking your head. Someone stood beside you, holding your hand. Speak of the devil. You turned your head to see him looking at his phone in his other hand, totally nonchalant about holding your phone.

“Great show today, guys. You were amazing.” You told all 7 of them as they packed up, ready to head home.

“Thank you, (y/n).” Jin pinched your cheek lovingly.

“As much as I love spending time with ARMY, I’m excited to have some time off, as well.” Jimin yawned, adjusting his hat in the mirror. You nodded in agreement. The boys deserved a nice break.

“The vans are here.” The managers informed.

“Let’s go, aegi.” He called. You walked hand in hand with him. Before you stepped out, he stopped you.

“You forgot again?” He chuckled, taking a mask out of his pocket. He gently hooked the elastics over your ears, adjusting the fabric on your face to make sure that it was comfortable.

“Thank you.” You said sheepishly.

“Hurry, love birds!” Hoseok called out, being the one to share the van with the two of you. Even if you were all boarding the van privately, you were still cautious, wearing a mask when you went out in case any fan manages to slip past security and saw you.

“We’ll sit at the back.” You were yanked into the seat, making you blink in shock. You felt your lover’s headrest against your shoulder.

“Any plans for the break, Hobi?” You asked.

“Hmm, besides going home? I would like to travel but I don’t really have a destination in mind. What about you? Are you and hyung going to do something?” He asked back.

“He’s visiting his family. Unfortunately, I have work but I’ll try to join him for a few days. After that, we might take a few days off to travel too.” You smiled.

“Must be nice to travel with a companion.” Hoseok teased.

“Not when your companion just wants to sleep and eat all day.” You giggled. There was a grunt of annoyance from beside you.

“Hey, you sleep just as much as me. We hardly stepped out of our hotel room the last vacation because all we did was sleep then nap all day. Besides, I deserve to sleep and eat all day for how hard I’ve worked.” He scoffed. You nodded your head, you couldn’t argue with that after all the hard work the boys have put into the tour.

“Touché.” You booped his nose.

“Still hard to believe hyung is the first one to get a girl. We all thought he was too much a gramps to get one.” Hoseok laughed.

“That’s part of his charm, I guess.” You smiled. Looking down, you saw that said male had fallen asleep against your shoulder. A slight frown was on his face as he crossed his arms.

When the car stopped in the gated apartment complex, the 3 of you were dropped off at the front of the dorm building.

“Hobi-”

“I know, I know. You won’t be spending the night in the dorm. Goodnight, you two.” Hoseok waved you two off. You giggled and gave him a hug before parting ways from him.

“I can’t wait to just spend the next few days in bed.”

“When are you going back to Daegu?”

“Next week. What, can’t wait to get rid of me already?” He teased. You scoffed, entering the lift together and tapping the resident card, pressing the lift button.

“If I wanted to get rid of you, I could just return to my place.” You shook your head.

“As if I’d let you.” He said from behind you. Pressing the code into the keypad on the door, you pressed your finger print and the door unlocked. The two of you shuffled into the big apartment. You turned the lights on and placed your bag on the couch. The first thing you did was put away the washed dishes from your breakfast this morning.

“You can do that tomorrow.” His voice groaned.

“It’ll take less than a minute. Go ahead and shower.” You chuckled. Once again, you were yanked away from the cupboard. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms loosely looped around your waist.

“What’s wrong?” You whispered, stroking the back of his head.

“Is it too early for post concert blues?”

“You are such a workaholic. You’ll be on stage again soon. Besides, ARMY wouldn’t want to see all of you so tired out. They would want you to rest well and have a break too.” You comforted.

“When I’m with them, I just feel like I have the whole world.”

“ARMY is lucky to have all of you. You’re their world just as much as they are yours.” You smiled.

“You’re forgetting something. ARMY gives me the whole world. But right now, I know I am holding my whole world.” He placed a gentle kiss against your temple.

“Cheeseball.” You shook your head with a laugh. You shooed him away to shower while you finished the chores for the night like folding the washed clothes, filling the coffee machine for tomorrow and arranging the few fan gifts from ARMY around the house.

“I’m done.” He called from the bedroom. You entered, seeing him pull a plain white shirt over his head. He rubbed his wet hair with a towel.

“I’ll go shower.” You said, picking some fresh clothes and bringing it to the bathroom. You were quick with your shower, blowing drying your hair afterwards so you wouldn’t have to wait for it to dry.

“Hurry, I want to sleep.”

“You don’t have to wait for me!” You replied.

“No.”

“Alright, alright.” You shook your head, hanging your towel back on the rack to dry. You closed the bathroom door, slipping under the covers. Immediately, you were drawn into a warm embrace.

“Don’t wake me up tomorrow.” He mumbled, eyes closing.

“Wouldn’t dare to.” You joked. He opened one eye to glare at you while you smiled innocently at him. He yawned, tucking his head into the crook of your neck comfortably.

“Goodnight, aegi.” He placed a kiss against your skin.

“Goodnight, Yoon.” You replied.

You’ve known Yoongi for years now. When you worked at a music store near BTS’ old dorm when they had just debuted. He would come at night, just before closing to browse the shelves. Even if you came to know the whole group through Yoongi, you and Yoongi connected on a whole new level, you understood each other through music.

It was about 2 years ago that he had asked you out on a date. Of course, you were unsure, considering how popular he was and you didn’t want to burden him by keeping your relationship a secret.

But you trusted Yoongi. When he told you he would protect you, you gave him a chance. And you’ve been happily together ever since.

It scared you when Yoongi threatened to leave BigHit when the management found out about you. You told Yoongi that you wanted him to prioritise BTS and ARMY before your relationship together. That was your only condition.

“Why?”

“Because ARMY and BTS were there for you before I was. You need to be there for them just like how they are there for you.” You told him.

With that, the management and Mr Bang approved of your relationship. They also appreciated how you made Yoongi happier and were a positive influence when he had his low times.

It was around 4 am. You woke up, feeling the space beside you still empty. The sheets felt cold, meaning that Yoongi hadn’t returned. You sent a message to Jungkook, who you knew would still be awake since he was working on releasing a surprise song cover for ARMY.

“Yoongi hyung? He hasn’t returned.” The youngest informed.

“Thanks, Kookie.” You hung up. You respected Yoongi and his work, never wanting to interrupt him or stop him but you knew you had to step in at certain times.

‘The number you have dialled is currently unavailable-’

You sighed as you were directed to voicemail again. Putting your shoes on, you left home to visit his studio.

DING DONG

You pressed the doorbell, waiting for an answer but to no avail. Even if you knew the code, you wouldn’t just enter. Just like everyone else, you would always ring the doorbell first and wait for a reply. You pressed it again.

“Who is- Oh, it’s you.” Yoongi poked his head out.

“Hey.” You greeted.

“What are you doing here? I’m busy.” Yoongi said. It came out colder than he would have liked but after working for hours and not getting the results he wanted, he was getting frustrated.

“I know. Just wanted to see how you were doing. Can I come in?” You asked. Yoongi looked back into his studio.

“I’d rather you not. Like I said, I’m busy. I can’t have another person here, it’ll only distract me more.” He said. Yoongi wasn’t someone that dealt with emotions well, you knew that. When things weren’t working out, his defence mode was to just push everyone away and hide alone. That’s just his way of dealing with emotions.

“I understand.” You nodded, not wanting to push him any further. Without another word, Yoongi just closed the door, retreating back into his studio.

“Hmm...” You roamed around the lounge area. You smiled as you came across the famous picture of Jimin that Yoongi got as a prize during the photography episode of Run!BTS.

“Time to go home.” You went back home. Even waiting for Yoongi outside his studio, you knew he would feel guilty later on and you didn’t want that. You laid in bed but was woken up by Yoongi pressing his face into your back.

“Yoon...?” You tried to turn around to face him but his arms held you in place.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, burying his face into your back. You reached over to put your hand over his.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” You said, sleep laced in your voice. You yawned, finally turning around to face him. You cupped his cheek with your free hand.

“The songs weren’t working out, the lyrics were trash, I just... I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. After you left, I just-”

“Shh, you don’t have to explain. I understand how frustrating it must have been. Everyone has their own down times. Don’t worry, I’m just glad you’re back to rest. Maybe after a nice sleep, you’ll have a clearer mind to write better, hmm?” You smiled softly.

“Next time, be angry with me.”

“Why do you want me to be angry with you? I mean, I have times when work frustrates me too. We aren’t perfect.” You laughed.

“You’re too nice to me.” He pressed you against his body, inhaling your comforting scent. You loosely wrapped your own arm around his middle, letting out a yawn.

“Go wash up. I’ll wait for you.” You promised.

Yoongi was usually an early riser but after the concert last night, he had slept in until the afternoon. When he woke up, he realised that you weren’t beside him. He sat up, running his fingers through his hair as he looked for you.

‘Fridge empty. Went out to get groceries. Iced Americano is in the fridge. - (y/n)’

Yoongi smiled at your note, folding it and tucking it into his pocket. He never told you but he keeps all the notes you leave him, even for ones that just say, ‘gone to work’. He shuffled to the fridge, taking the glass of cold coffee out, adding ice before sticking a straw in. He sat down by the kitchen island, scrolling on his phone.

‘BTS’ Suga seen holding hands with mysterious female after concert.’

‘Insider releases photos of BTS’ rapper and a female embracing each other, said to be his girlfriend.’

‘Has the cold, savage rapper finally met his match?’

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he saw the alert news. He felt his heart stop when he clicked on one of the articles. There were blurry photos of you holding hands with him, leaving the venue last night.

“PD nim.” Yoongi called his boss.

“It seems a fan had snuck in under the guise of a staff member. We’ll handle the press for now and tell you what to do next.”

“How can this happen?!”

“Calm down, Yoongi. We have apprehended the culprit and will be turning her over to the authorities. Just make sure (y/n) is safe. The two of you should stay indoors for now.”

When he hung up, his phone rang again, it was the members. But right now, he couldn’t answer them. He was too worried about where you were and whether you were safe. Quickly, Yoongi dialled your number. Fortunately, you picked up, totally ignorant that your relationship was now public.

“Good morning, or should I say, good afternoon?”

“Aegi, are you okay?” He panicked.

“Okay? Of course, I am. Didn’t you see my note? I just finished paying for groceries, about to leave the mart.”

“Stay right there, aegi. I’m coming to get you. Don’t talk to anyone, alright? I’m coming.” He said as he grabbed his car keys, putting on a mask and a cap.

“Okay, now you’re scaring me. What’s wrong, Yoon?”

“They found out. I’m so sorry I let this happen. I’ll explain more when I come get you, alright?” He said and hung up. He got into his car, speeding to where you were. You were standing by the mart entrance.

“Yoon.” You sighed in relief, entering the car with all the groceries in your lap. Yoongi sped away, back to the gated community. True to that, as he passed the security, he saw some fans standing at the post, trying to enter. Luckily, fans didn’t know he owned this car and the windows were tinted so he could drive past without anyone suspecting.

“Let’s go. Hurry.” He grabbed the bags, pulling you with him to the apartment. Only when you reached, you finally stopped him.

“Yoon, calm down. It’s okay, I’m okay. Now tell me, slowly, what happened?” You led him to the couch to sit down. He buried his hands into his palms while you rubbed his back.

“Someone snuck in as a staff member last night and took pictures of us. It was in the press this morning.” He explained.

“Does PD nim know about this?”

“He said he will handle the press and tell us what we have to do next.” He shivered, his breathing quickening. You knew that was a sign of Yoongi’s anxiety so you pulled him into your embrace immediately.

“It’ll be okay, Yoongi.” You comforted.

“Have you spoken to the boys?” You asked softly. He shook his head. As he said that, your phone rang. It was Namjoon.

“They’re just worried and want to know if you’re okay. Let me tell them that we’re okay.” You told him, answering Namjoon’s call and putting him on speaker. As you predicted, the other boys were on the other line, bombarding the both of you with questions.

“We’re okay, just a little overwhelmed. Thank you for your concern. We’ll just wait for PD nim’s instructions.” You told them.

“Do you want us to come over?”

“Maybe later on but not right now? Just let Yoongi and I grasp the situation and calm down first. If there’s anything, we’ll be sure to keep you all updated.” You promised.

“We’ll see you later then.”

“I’m so sorry I let this happen, aegi.” Yoongi cried, cupping your cheek and rubbing it with his thumb.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. We will get through this. I know it’s a little earlier than we would have liked but we knew the risks we were taking by having this relationship, Yoon.” You wiped his tears.

“You don’t understand, aegi. Those people that could hurt you, they aren’t really ARMY. They’re crazy and obsessed. I’ve seen what they have done to others before. I will never be able to live with myself if I let the same thing happen to you.” He shook his head. You knew what Yoongi was referring to, the ‘sasaeng fans’ that the media always talked about.

“Let’s not think of the worst.” You hummed. Yoongi’s phone ringing broke your embrace. It was PD nim, along with the PR team.

“Yes. I understand… I’ll speak to her and let you know. Thank you.” Yoongi said and hung up with a sigh. You tilted your head, hoping they didn’t give Yoongi the ultimatum.

“They said I either publish a note to the fans, explaining everything. Or let them deny the photos, say that you are just a family member.” He explained.

“I see...” Those were reasonable options.

“What do you think is the right thing to do?” You asked Yoongi.

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