#Insomnia

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24) National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text) RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

#tumblr #counseling #prevention #self harm #psa #tumblr support #tumblr help #tumblr staff #depression

[jomiddlemarch]

The Philosophy Inherent in Buttered Toast

Within a week of Shirley’s departure, Susan found that she could not fall asleep, no matter how much she exhausted herself; the windowpanes had never sparkled brilliantly so in the morning sunlight. She’d dare Miss Cornelia Bryant herself to find the smallest speck on the kitchen floor. She concocted impossible delicacies to try and tempt Mrs. Doctor, muttering under her breath about the various culinary restrictions and how she’d like to see anyone make a decent pie with the miserly amount of lard she was allotted, and she starched the Doctor’s collars so thoroughly he’d begged her to stop as he couldn’t turn his head when he drove out to see his patients, especially not that sharp curve onto the road over to the Lower Glen. Work, hard work that left her with a sore back and aching knees and hands too rough to get a pair of gloves onto for Sunday service, had always been a panacea, just as Mrs. Doctor had her garden and Mrs. Reverend had her needlework. 

Once Shirley left, after a brief kiss on her cheek and a little squeeze of her hand as she gave him a neatly tied up box lunch for the train, the week’s sugar ration used up in his favorite sweets, she turned her hand to the plow as it were and expected to find some respite. Instead she found herself lying in her narrow bed, a stripe of moonlight across the foot, her eyes burning, wide open. Her body longed for rest but her mind, her heart, her very soul itself would not allow it, as un-Christian a thought as that might be. She’d drift off in snatches in the early morning, wake with the fog of dreams, a confusion dispelled by the splash of water in the basin and the cold cloth scrubbed across her face. She felt every one of her years like a millstone and if she hadn’t already been plain Susan Baker since she’d outgrown the very little prettiness she’d had a child, someone, likely that outspoken Mary Vance, would have remarked that old Susan Baker looked quite poorly.

She began by reciting psalms to herself and then all her favorite hymns but it made no difference. Unlike Mrs. Doctor, she took no delight in watching the moon wax and wane and thought only a man could have come up with the constellations, the greatest waste of time she could think of and nothing but a lot of foolish nonsense. She took to drinking her tea as strong as she could steep it, nearly black. Coffee was too dear to waste and had to be saved for the Doctor. If he nodded off over his surgery, Susan Baker would be the one responsible for the poor soul under his knife’s untimely passing. She was comforted when Shirley enclosed a brief note addressed to Mother Susan in the letter he’d sent to his parents and sisters, but the relief of knowing him safe didn’t see her dozing in her rocking chair, let alone tucked up snug in her bed.

She remembered something Walter had once said, that there was poetry in the most ordinary things, how he’d gone on and on about a perfectly buttered piece of her toast, sliced just the right thickness, the butter spread smooth and even to the brown crust. She was known for her bread, that was common knowledge in Glen St. Mary, whether it was a white loaf or wholemeal, but she’d thought if she hadn’t loved Walter since he was a tot, she would have given a mighty sniff at his folderol. Now, though, she thought perhaps making a list of all the ordinary things that could be what Walter had called the marvelous quotidian before explaining his fancy words, perhaps making a list might take the place of counting the sheep that would never be sheared nor help her nod off.

To begin with, there was Walter’s buttered toast.

The hiss the iron made as she flicked a drop of water on it to test its heat.

The first even row of knots she threw on her needles beginning another sock in the ugly drab worsted that was military standard.

The last swipe of the cloth when she was polishing the good silver.

The greedy sound the Doctor made as he ate his slice of pie, one she would have scolded the children for making.

Winding the clocks.

Rilla’s little frown as she tried to feed her war-baby and got mashed peas all over the front of her clean white shirtwaist, a dab on her cheek.

Slipping on galoshes when it was a rainy morning.

The crinkle of the pages as she read her Bible chapter before bed.

Beans, bobbing about in the pot.

Una Meredith asking for help with her darning, her blue eyes round as buttons as she said Please, Miss Baker, the only one of the Meredith children to use a title for her.

Throwing out slops when the bucket was full.

Spools of thread lined up in her sewing basket.

Spoons, nestled tight against each other in their drawer.

The milk folding around itself in her chipped teacup like the sheets on the line in the wind.

Shirley’s way of writing the letter S, the same in her name as his own.

Fat blueberries in a bowl, waiting to be made into jam.

She began each night with Walter’s toast. Most nights, she fell asleep between the bean pottage and the slops arcing out onto the dirt. When it had been several days since they’d heard from Shirley or the papers were black with battles and casualty lists, the milk in the tea took the shape of Shirley’s cursive S. When there were letters from all three Blythe boys and the Meredith ones as well, the knitting needles fell from her hands, stitches most certainly dropped.

The night they’d learned about Courcelette, she’d counted each one of the blueberries in the bowl and wept.

And slept.

With many thanks to @batrachised who posted this summary of fake fic with this same title: Susan and Walter have a conversation about the poetry of everyday things. Susan still can't quite understand that poetry nonsense, but after Walter waxes eloquent about her perfectly ensembled toast that has just the right amount of butter scraped on top, she decides that surely a little of it is harmless enough - walter is Mrs. Doctor Dear's son, after all.

I hope my "borrowing" did the initial post justice! @gogandmagog I would have shared this today anyway, but I did love your encouragement post.

#anne of green gables #angst #susan baker #walter blythe #insomnia #the poetry of everyday things #domestic #canon compliant #shirley blythe #miss cornelia bryant #gilbert's love of pie #I hope everyone who wanted to see this is satisfied! #aogg

[incendavery]

soporific

#almost didnt post this one bc its ✨️embarrasing✨️ #comics on tumblr #artists on tumblr #diary comic #insomnia #corvid #davedrawsstuff #no image description

[zoomar]

Straight to dreamland, thanks to the power of sleep-inducing garlic.

#garlic #sleep #insomnia #hypnosis #cartoon

[oingomyboingos]

shoutout to the nightbloggers all my homies love nightbloggers

#you’d think I was australian from the amount of night blogging I do #anyway reblog and tell me in the tags what time it is when you saw this post #insomnia #nightblogging #vampires #memes #group chat #discord group #just jill's stuff

[adhdandcomics]

shout out to my folks with insomnia & depression & delayed sleep phase disorder & sleep apnea & disabilities & other sleep disorders diagnosed, undiagnosed, and just my plain old night owls & night shift workers!! we r so fucking cool & exist every day in a society not made for us at all. and NONE of us are lazy bums or bad people for staying up late & sleeping in till noon or two or whatever whenever you get up!! no matter what anyone says!! you’re incredible and i love you!!!

#being the positivity i need in the world #would i like to get up earlier and love my life? yes. but i can’t fuckin do that can i #i recognize the irony of posting this at 11:30 however i’m at work and fuckin tired #text #positivity #insomnia #depression #delayed sleep phase disorder #sleep apnea #also shout out to nightmare nation i hope we get good rest soon!!!!!

[crippledpunks]

my heart goes out to you if you're a disabled person who has a complicated or negative relationship with sleep. if you need to sleep a lot but can't due to life circumstances, or sleeping extra causing other symptoms to flare up. if you can't sleep enough due to pain, or nightmares, or psychosis, or bipolar, or depression. if you sleep way too much and find it hard to stay awake. if you can't fall or stay asleep. if you need medication in order to be able to sleep. if you don't feel rested from sleep. if you wake up a lot in the night. if you have bladder or bowel accidents while asleep. if you twitch or convulse or move too or get injured in your sleep. if you can't control your sleep schedule no matter what. if you can't sleep during "normal" sleeping hours. if you can't sleep for 8+ hours straight but can sleep for shorter amounts of time. if sleep is what you need but for one reason or another you just can't or refuse to do it.

i care about you. your disabilities deserve to be seen and acknowledged

#actually disabled #chronic pain #cripple punk #fibromyalgia #crip punk #insomnia #troubled sleep #trouble sleeping' #sleep disturbances #sleep disorder #sleep disorders #narcolepsy #depression #bipolary #psychosis #schizophrenia #autism #adhd #ptsd #did #dissociative identity disorder #osdd #mental illness #disability #madpunk #]our writing #cpunk #disability culture #cripplepunk #c punk

[the-suicide-effect]

"And the sad part is I was getting better.

And now I'm not"

#feelings #mental illness #emotions #not okay #quotes #disorder #panic attacks #it's okay not to be okay #mental health #insomnia #suicide #suicidal #recovery #depression #anxiety #lonely #alone #loneliness #it's ok not to be ok

[animusrox]

Christopher Nolan Filmography (1998-2023)

#christopher nolan #oppenheimer #filmedit #filmgifs #doyouevenfilm #userrobin #fyeahmovies #cinemapix #moviegifs #chewieblog #the dark knight #memento #tenet #dunkirk #interstellar #the dark knight rises #inception #insomnia #following #gifs #kane52630 #movie

[retrogamingblog2]

Pokemon Medicine Bottles made by bubbledreamz

#pokemon #nintendo #gaming #art #crafts #video games #anime #medication #medicine #doctor #depression #insomnia #allergies #gifts #merch #artists #cute #funny #lol #humor #meme #90s #gameboy #gba #ds #3ds #switch #nintendo switch #retro #retrogaming

[prokopetz]

Frankly, it's a little bit offensive how many different maladies "unfuck your sleep schedule" is a reasonable treatment for.

#life #health #insomnia #swearing

[agoraphobia-anxiety]

#depressed #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #depressing life #depressing quotes #sorry for being depressing #depressing post #depressing shit #depressing poem #this is depressing #kinda depressing #depression #sleep deprivation #no sleep #insomnia #insomniac #sad thoughts #sadness #sadnees #sad aesthetic #suicudal #sad poetry #sad but true #im crying #mentally fucked #mentally tired #mental disorder #mentally ill #im not mentally stable #black and white

[ky-landfill]

#insomnia #tim drake #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #batfam #batman #the rest of the world out of focus

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I had insomnia.

Literally, I was asleep but dreaming that I could not sleep and I was worried about how I would be able to function at work in the morning if I didn’t sleep.

#dream #text #October 22nd 2023 #insomnia #queueueueueueueueueueueueueue

[soracities]

Marina Tsvetaeva, excerpt from Insomnia, Selected Poems (trans. Elaine Feinstein, with Angela Livingstone) [ID'd]

#q #lit #quotes #typography #poetry #id included #marina tsvetaeva #selected poems of marina tsvetaeva #insomnia #fragments of selfhood #reading #russian lit #m #x

[jareckiworld]

Manuel Amorim — Insomnia (gasoline paint on canvas, 1988)

#Manuel Amorim #portuguese art #insomnia #Fluxus