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#jackass writer
thevioletcaptain · 1 year
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i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.
it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.
it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)
it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.
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asskickedbygirl · 1 year
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Hello I have jealous Knoxville brain rot and I was wondering if you could write a Knoxville x fem!reader where the reader is bams best friend and they grew up skating together attached at the hip but Johnny is fully into the reader and she’s into Johnny (he does not see this) but he thinks she and bam are going to date because everyone thinks they would make the perfect couple. It can take whatever direction you would prefer from there I just would die for some pining jealous Knox 😭
Going Up
[Johnny Knoxville x F!Reader]
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Desc: Anon covered it but I made it smutty! As in elevator sex smutty...
A/n: need to put eyeliner on johnny rn. also I'm trying to do something different in all of my smuts so they don’t get boring or repetitive to write so lmk if you like it!! comments and reblogs make my day fr <3
Warnings: smut (18+), p in v, public sex (sort of), alcohol
3.4k words
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Bam and you were fucking around on your boards, doing stupid tricks and just wasting time until you were called to set. You always thought it was stupid that your call times were so early when you were never really needed until the afternoon at least. Nonetheless you showed up, bored and hungover. 
“Fuck I’ve almost got it.” You bitched, irritated that you couldn’t succeed in the easiest tricks when your head was throbbing from the night before. Bam laughed, 
“Yeah, sure you do.” This earned him a prompt thump on the arm from your fist, your teeth grinding. 
“Shut up, dickhead.” He still laughed, only holding the site of injury this time. He looked up behind you and raised his eyebrows. You spun around to see who he was looking at only to see Johnny Knoxville staring over at the two of you, quickly shifting his gaze once you spotted him, pretending he wasn’t looking. 
“Hmmm.” Bam hmmmed. 
“What?” You asked, skating in circles around him. 
“He’s got the hots for you.” 
You rolled your eyes, “You think everyone’s got the hots for me.” 
“Because they do!” 
You scoffed, “Your ego for me is bigger than my own. No one even asks me out anymore.” 
“That’s ‘cause they think we’re dating.” 
You pouted in contemplation. “I guess. Well why won’t you date me then?!” You brought your arms around Bam’s neck in mockery as you skated past him, laughing as he attempted to shoo you off. You planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek like a drunken aunt. 
“You’re gross. You’re like my sister, freak.” You giggled as Bam attempted to wipe your spit off his face, arms still wrapped around him.
Johnny swallowed thickly as he observed you acting all coupley with Bam, sipping the crappy cup of coffee he got from the catering table when Ryan wandered over to him and looked to see what he was gawking at. He sighed, 
“You know they’re not dating, right?” Johnny was snapped out of his daze upon hearing his voice. 
He cleared his throat, “What? Oh, uh. Yeah.” He scratched the back of his head, feeling caught. He bit his lip, looking back over to you, his heart beating a little faster the wider you smiled. 
“She probably likes you dude. There’s not many women that don’t.” Johnny took another sip from his styrofoam cup, eyes still on you, shrugging. Ry just shook his head, chuckling under his breath. He patted Johnny reassuringly on his shoulder and walked away, leaving him to yearn a little longer. You glanced up to see Johnnys eyes still drinking you in. You smiled and waved at him jokingly, causing his cheeks to flush as he hobbled off. Maybe he does have the hots for you after all.
“She probably likes you dude. There’s not many women that don’t.” Johnny took another sip from his styrofoam cup, eyes still on you, shrugging. Ry just shook his head, chuckling under his breath. He patted Johnny reassuringly on his shoulder and walked away, leaving him to yearn a little longer. You glanced up to see Johnnys eyes still drinking you in. You smiled and waved at him jokingly, causing his cheeks to flush as he hobbled off. Maybe he does have the hots for you after all.
A few days later you were in your hotel room applying your makeup, ready to go hit the bars after filming on location in New York. Bam and you were sharing, not the same bed but still, it didn’t help the rumours. You carefully lined your lips with liner as Bam lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, bored out of his tree waiting on you. 
“The bars are gonna be fucking closed by the time we leave.” You rolled your eyes, rubbing your lips together and tousling your hair. 
“It’s not even eleven yet. We’re gonna be early freak.” Bam pushed himself off the mattress,
 “Fuck this, I’m leaving with Ryan it’s too late to be this sober.” 
He grabbed his jacket and key card and swung the door open only to be met with a tall figure, hand raised and ready to knock. 
“Johnny.” Bam spoke, leading you to snap your head to take a look at the supposed man at your door. 
“Hey.” The often confident man’s voice wavered awkwardly, as if he had been caught in a trap. Bam leaned back to look at you, then back to Johnny, smiling like an idiot.
 “I was about to head with Ryan, you can come if you want or uh…” Bam raised his brows suggestively, something you didn’t spot. Johnny cleared his throat and swallowed thickly, contemplating for a moment whether or not he wanted to let it out that he’d rather stay with you. 
“I can stay with her while she gets ready. Bring you down if you want.” He called out to you, biting the bullet. You flicked your hair away from your face, grinning, 
“Sure. I’ll be ready in a minute anyways.” Bam shrugged and left the two of you to it, Johnny stumbling in and seating himself on the edge of your bed, observing you through the mirror as you smudged some more eyeliner in your waterline.
“That looks like it hurts. Is it not going into your eye?!” Johnny gritted his teeth together while you giggled. 
“I’m used to it. Here let me put some on you.” You held the eyeliner pencil between your fingers and turned to face him though his hands were already raised up, refusing.
“Oh come on! It doesn’t hurt and you can wash it off if you really hate it!” You flashed your best puppy dog eyes which ultimately worked as he simply couldn’t say no to you when you looked like that. He rolled his eyes as you grinned, moving closer to him. His breath hitched as your knees brushed against his, hands holding himself up as he leaned back slightly, eyes peering up at you. You took your bottom lip between your teeth in concentration and rested your hand against his cheek, Johnny swallowing right after. You used your thumb to pull his eye down just a tad, enough to see his waterline and went right in to apply it, accidentally poking him straight in the eye. 
“Ow!” The jabbed exclaimed, pulling away from you and holding his hand over his eye dramatically. 
You rolled you eyes. “Alright sorry. It was only a poke! C’mere it didn’t even get in your waterline.” Johnny was about to protest but felt he couldn’t once you pulled his face forward again forcefully, tongue poking out of your mouth as you concentrated on the task at hand.
He looked up to the ceiling and pretended the situation wasn’t incredibly uncomfortable as your raised leg kneeled on his lap in order to get the job done, face so close to his own as you tediously worked on coating his under eyes with black eyeliner. He couldn’t help but let his eyes drift to take you in, somehow you looked even more beautiful when you were in concentration. Your eyes met his and you smiled with your brows knitted together, a little unsure on why he was gawking once again. Well not really unsure, you were fairly sure. As you got back to it, Johnny posed a question,
“So you do this with Bam a lot huh?” You rolled your eyes at the insinuation of it. 
“Well yeah, ever since he saw Ville with it he begs me to do it all the time. He fucks it up whenever he tries to put it on himself.” You pulled the pencil away to admire your work as the first eye seemed done. 
“Looks good.” You smile, Johnny trying to move his head to take a look in the mirror but your hand pulling his face away. 
“Not yet. Lemme do the other one.” You repeated your movements of pulling his eye down slightly with your thumb to do the next one, brows knitted together.
Johnny looked up to you, sunken eyes boring into your face. 
“So you and Bam huh?” You scoffed, that was a sentence you heard practically everyday. 
“No. Not me and Bam. How long have I known you at this stage?!” 
Johnny smiled. “I dunno. You’re sharing a hotel room so.” His southern voice drawled. You continued penciling in the makeup. 
“Different beds idiot. MTV’s budget must be tight this year.” 
Johnny bit his lip. “So there’s nothing going on there.” 
You shook your head, “Nothing.” That’s when you finished the job, pulling away to admire your work. 
“Not bad huh?” This time you allowed Johnny to look at himself, standing up to get closer to the mirror. 
“Christ I look ridiculous.” 
You laughed, “No you don’t! This is so in right now.” You folded your arms and came up to the mirror as well to look at his face through the reflection. 
“Yeah it’s in for twenty year olds. I’m old remember?” 
You rolled your eyes. “You’re only like nine years older than me.”
Johnny flashed you a ‘careful’ look, but you smiled it off. He looked fucking hot if you were being honest, and that little crush you had on him was coming back in full force. You bit your lip as you and Johnny stared at each other for a little too long until he bustled off to the bathroom to attempt to scrub the liner off. His efforts were almost futile, a faint black still present in his waterline. 
“That’s hot! No, seriously it looks good like that.” Johnny sighed as he realised he’d have to go out with a trace of makeup on his face. 
“Are girls gonna think I’m gay?” 
You laughed, shaking your head. “Well you’ll have me on your arm so, hopefully not.” Johnny raised his brow at you but you ignored him, grabbing your purse, ready to hit the bars.
The bar everyone was meeting at was busy and bustling, a live band playing. You and Johnny arrived together of course and hit the bar immediately to get some drinks, already far too sober compared to the likes of Chris and Steve-o. You sat together in slightly close quarters, chatting amongst yourselves. You were enjoying his company, he smelled nice and the more you drank the more flirty you got. You had already punched Steve-o square in the arm when he made a dumb comment about Johnny’s ‘new look’ and an hour later his arm was draped over you. That was until Bam stumbled over to you all, clearly very drunk. 
“You have to come dance with me. Now!” He reached out and grabbed your hand, forcing you up and away from your arm candy. 
“Hey!” You called out but Bam was already pulling you onto the dance floor, hands grabbing your waist to dance with you.
You reluctantly pulled your arms up around Bam’s shoulders. Sure you loved to dance but when you did with Bam and you were drunk, the rumours were only set ablaze. You tried to catch Johnnys eyes as you swung your hips, only seeing him grit his teeth and practically glare at Bam. Was he… jealous? You looked at your dance partner who was too inebriated to have any sort of spatial awareness, simply blindly moving you around. Out of the corner of your eye you spotted an attractive looking girl dancing by herself and so you hatched a plan. As Johnny continued to glare you pushed Bam off of you and practically shoved him towards the other girl. 
“This is Bam!” You called out to her and she looked rather thrilled, must’ve been a fan. 
As the new couple began to dance once more you strutted over towards Johnny who was now looking at you like a deer in the headlights.
“Come on. You wanna dance with me right? Well dance with me now!” You slipped your hand in his and pulled him up, dragging him behind you as you set off for the floor. 
Johnny was in slight shock, his hands finding their way to your waist in a daze as you brought your arms around his neck, moving your hips with the beat. You looked up to Johnny and flashed a smug grin, 
“Were you jealous Knoxville?” 
Johnny blushed, laughing and shaking his head.
“So what if I was?”
You smiled even wider, taking Johnny’s hand from your waist and moving it down to cup your ass.
“You don’t need to be.” 
You chewed your lip as his hands felt you up on the dance floor, not caring that people might see your skirt riding up and exposing your ass. Johnny looked especially attractive as he appeared almost flustered, cheeks burning red and eyes blown out. As the music changed you moved yourself around so your back was pressed against his chest, letting his arms drape around you and push you closer to him, feeling the outline of his dick press into your ass. You grinded to the beat of the loud music, feeling his breath on your neck and his stubble grazing your skin. It felt almost too intimate right there in the middle of all the bodies, sweaty and drunk, but god did you want him. You placed your hand over Johnny’s as it pressed into your stomach to hold you there and turned around so you could whisper in his ear,
“Wanna get out of here?” 
Johnny only nodded, allowing you to lead him away from the crowds and out of the bar towards your hotel. Boy were you glad it was so close by as the desperation was radiating off of your hot bodies, clammy hands holding each other as you made your way through the streets, no talking necessary. 
You both smiled politely at the receptionists as you wandered inside the hotel, trying to act as if you weren’t as desperate as you’d ever been, silently praying no stranger would join you in the elevator on your way up. Alas you were left alone, standing side by side as the doors shut. One second later Johnny flipped himself around and slammed his lips onto yours, forcing his leg between yours so they were parted and making out with you roughly. Your hands flew up to hold his face, letting out quiet whimpers as he took you with such force. His hands were already roaming over your body, fisting the fabric of the back of your skirt in his hand and pulling it up. If you didn’t know him any better you’d think he was about to fuck you in the elevator.
That’s when you felt it jolt, stopping on whatever floor you were on. You opened your eyes and pulled away from Johnny’s mouth in a panic, thinking something had broken but instead you were met with his hand over the emergency stop button, manical grin on his face. You covered your mouth with your hand, half shocked but entirely bemused.
“Are you serious?!” You laughed, completely bewildered.
“Couldn’t wait any longer.” is all he said, immediately diving back in to kiss you once more.
As your skirt had already been pushed up over your ass, in fact bunched up around your waist, Johnny’s fingers were smoothly tucked into the band of your panties, waiting for the moment he could finally pull them down. He took the opportunity as soon as your hand reached down to palm him over his pants, pushing your body against the wall of the elevator at the same time. You let out a groan as you frantically unbuckled his pants, him eventually giving in and shoving them down to pool around his ankles instead. 
After some more hot and heavy making out, you felt Johnny’s hard cock press into the inside of your thigh and so you took matters into your own hands, freeing the member and urging him to fuck you against the cool metal walls of the box. You moaned as he entered you, his stubbly chin grazing your neck and lips kissing the skin tenderly as he began bucking his hips forward. He dug his thumbs into the skin of your waist to hold you still, your arms wrapping around his neck to brace yourself the faster he went. 
Johnny’s grunts and your whimpers echoed around the elevator, it even jolted slightly with every thrust and it almost felt surreal that heart throb Johnny Knoxville was fucking you in a hotel elevator. You hid your girlish grin in the crook of his neck, kissing and sucking on it all the while. 
“You think Bam could fuck me like this?” You whispered into his ear.
Sure it was evil but god did you love provoking the men that fucked you, it just makes everything more fun. Johnny laughed, more of a ‘fuck you’ sort of chuckle but he laughed nonetheless.
“You gonna talk about Bam while I’m balls deep inside of you?”
Johnny pulled his lips away from your neck to look you in the eye, yours as blown out as his. You grinned playfully.
“Well this means you don’t have to be jealous anymore. Your eyeliners fucking hot by the way” 
Johnny laughed.
“Shut up.”
He continued to fuck you hard, his thrusts only increasing in pace and his moans only getting louder along with yours. It wasn’t long until he got you to that familiar place, head leaning back against the wall as you were worked to the edge.
“Fuck I’m gonna come.” You managed to get out between pants, holding onto your breath as you felt the sensation creep forward. 
Johnny continued his relentless pace until you came hurtling down, the wave of pleasure washing over you and making your legs shake. The feeling of you tightening around Johnny made his breath hitch as you brought him closer to the edge.
“Can I come inside you baby?” 
You nodded, head still reeling from your orgasm. Johnny gripped your hips tightly, pushing even further into you as he came with a loud groan into your neck, the hot breath sending shivers down your spine.
The two of you remained in the same place, panting and fucked out, sweat dripping from your foreheads. Johnny’s head was still buried in the crook of your neck.
“You alright there?” You laughed, poking his cheek.
He pulled away grinning.
“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever done.” 
You both laughed until Johnny kissed you again, your heads all foggy.
“You know we can do this again once we’re out of this elevator right?” You pulled away once his kisses got more needy, practically ready for round two already when his dick was growing soft inside you. 
He laughed as he pulled out of you, the sensation making you wince slightly. 
“Sorry.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
He bent down to help pull your panties back up and smooth your skirt out after buckling up his own pants. He fixed himself up a little more before pressing the emergency stop button once again as well as another button.
“Shit.” He muttered. 
“What?!”
Johnny bared his teeth.
“I accidentally pressed the reception floor.” 
You rolled your eyes and scoffed.
“Christ I hope those poor workers don’t see us again.” 
Just as you attempted to fix up your hair the doors opened to reveal none other than Bam Margera himself, arm sleazily hung over the same girl you threw him at on the dance floor. You and Johnny must’ve looked like a deer in headlights right then but Bam was far too drunk and oblivious to notice just yet.
“Oh hey guys!” He grinned, entering with his new chick, her hand dragging over his chest.
“Weird the elevator wasn’t working for a minute. What were you guys doing already in here, I thought you left like thirty minutes ago?” Bam asked but his face dropped once it dawned on him.
He observed the pair of you, your makeup all messed up with tangled hair, skirt all wrinkled and Johnny with his messy hair and lipstick stains coating his neck and collar. 
“Oh.” 
“Let’s not.” You interjected before Bam could say anything that would make your skin crawl. 
The rest of the elevator ride was painfully awkward and silent, even Bam’s girl noticing the horrible tension. Once you finally reached your floor after what felt like forever Bam spoke up.
“So uhh... can we take our room or do you want to-” 
“Take our room.” You sputtered, leaving the damn elevator as soon as possible and darting towards Knoxville’s room, desperate to escape. 
End.
@gnarkillknoxville @jackussy420 @spoookyberry @steve-osahottie @izzaaaaaa @lovexjoe @jackassvivalabam03 @kristinee
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oifaaa · 8 months
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You’re so real for saying that Jason barely cared about the Joker in UTRH. The only thing he cared about was fucking with Bruce. (Which he did)
I seriously question if anyone who buys into the Jason is obsessed with killing the Joker has actually read utrh like there's a whole conversation between Jason and joker about how little Jason cares about him tho I guess I shouldn't be too harsh considering the amount of other dc books that play it up and that the movie (iirc) didn't include that conversation which oh I would have loved to have seen it animated
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philipjohnclapp · 10 months
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Heyy idk of ur requests are open
If they are, could you please do some head canons with Steve-o with a 2000s popstar reader like, kind of like Britney Spears because I fucking love her btw looooove ur writing 💗💗💗
Steve-O Dating a Popstar Reader Headcanons
A/N: I hope this is okay, I’ve mastered Steve-O to a T, Y/N? Not so much. This might work; if y’all want more feel free to request. implied female reader.
- You’re his bimbo girlfriend even if you aren’t a bimbo.
- That’s his name for you.
- He thinks your smoking hot.
- Wonders how he ended up with you.
- His friends think you’re an escort, at least at first they did.
- Now they think you’re his sugar baby.
- Listens to all your music and is very supportive; even though he’s a rocking roll man.
- Fucked around once and turned the amplifier up so loud, and got so close his ears bled.
- Was listening to your music at the time, he said your music was and I quote “so good that his ears bled.”
- Literally almost went deaf.
- He goes with you everywhere pretty much, you call him your “trophy boyfriend.”
- Definitely do all the “rockstar” like shit and get wasted.
- You constantly tell him you aren’t a rockstar.
- One time he asked you if you were friends with Tommy Lee.
- He got jealous?
- And then he threw up and passed out.
- Y’all cuddle every night.
- Especially after sex.
- Let’s you sometimes do makeup on him, he proceeded to bat his lashes and then he was kissing all the guys to mess with him.
- Somehow he contracted crabs or something from it and you made him sleep in a different room for like a month.
- He was sad.
- ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS does some sort of trick on stage before you preform.
- Hangs out in the mosh pit a LOT.
- Sometimes as a gag when you bring him on stage he acts like a fan girl and goes nuts.
- Kisses you with tongue in front of everyone.
- Especially on stage just because.
- Tried to learn the guitar so he could preform with you and he failed.
- That also made him reaally sad.
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acmelab · 7 months
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Brain may be an ugly gay loser but he’s my ugly gay loser. 😔
yes pinky, we know
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essektheylyss · 1 year
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I'm always bewildered by fictional relationships where an ex is characterized in such a way that is clearly framed in a way that wants you to side with the POV character, but the circumstances are like, "Honestly, your ex is fully valid in this situation and I hope they find someone who deserves them because you sure didn't."
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ajmargera · 11 months
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Imagen how funny it would be watching a horror film with bam and ryan high. Like legit, bam would be like hiding his face literally in the floor being sprawled across it cobering his ears so he didnt have to hear it and ryan would be holding his face in his hands peeking through his fingers waiting for it to be over screaming like a little girl.
I've got writers block rn and life's getting in the way. But this just popped into my head and ima try be more active on here over the next few days. Thanks for all the support guys ly all <3
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s1eep-o · 1 year
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Hi! I love ur fics <33 Can I request a Johnny Knoxville fic where maybe the gn!reader is having a really bad depression day (if ur comfy writing that!!) maybe he comes home earlier from filming to take care of them or something 🥺
fade into you.
pairing: johnny knoxville x gn!reader
warnings: reader being sad, alcohol consumption, use of the words: lovebug, doll, sweetheart + darling. lmk is there is more!!
you sat in the living room of the small apartment you and johnny shared. the television in the background on the mtv channel playing mazzy star. you haven't been feeling very well recently, causing you to sit at home with sad music playing as your thoughts engulfed your mind. you turn your head to the tv as an ad comes on, it shows a happy family at some dumb waterpark. this triggered something in you and you started to feel tears welling in your eyes. standing up you walk over to the small kitchen and open a bottle of beer and start to drink it. pulling your phone out of your pocket you decide to call johnny. ''hey there lovebug! what's up?'' johnny says over the phone, you can see the smile on his face, he didn't hear an answer causing him to get worried. ''is everything okay doll?'' he asks, voice laced with worry. ''i'm not feeling so well pj.. do you think you can come home early?..' i answer quietly into the phone. ''of course doll, i'll tell jeff somethin' came up.'' he says hanging up the phone.
you're laying on the couch again, sniffling with a face wet with tears when you hear the door rattle. ''hey darlin' i'm here..'' johnny says quietly as he takes off his shoes and walks over to the couch. ''oh sweetheart.. what's troubling ya' ?'' he asks with a small frown. you open your mouth but nothing come out, more tears start to stream down your face. johnny sits down next to you and pulls you to his chest, ''it's alright doll, let it all out..'' he coos. your tears slowly come to an end and johnny holds you out in front of him, ''you think you can tell me whats wrong now? '' he asks softly. ''i'm just having a bad day pj..'' you answer him softly. he just nods his head softly and stands up, bringing you up with him. ''c'mon let's get you cleaned up, yeah?'' he says as he walks you to the bathroom.
johnny is wiping your face with a warm towel as you are sitting on the counter of the bathroom sink. ''feelin' better?'' he asks while holding both sides of your face. you respond with a small nod and he gives you a big smile, pulling you into a tight hug. ''now if you ever feel like that again, just tell me okay? you don't have to tell me why you feel that way, because no matter what i will still be here to make you feel better. i love you.'' he says and gives you a small kiss to your forhead. you smile and give a small ''thanks''. ''now let's go to bed! i'm tired as shit!'' he exclaims, causing you to giggle.
A/N
woohoo there it is, i am on a roll! i think. anyways hope you like it! xoxo.
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glitterinmyveinss · 30 days
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ABOUT ME !!
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hi !! my names vicky, i use she/her pronouns, here's some things about me and what i post ! <3
my favorite artists are: Lana Del Rey !! sublime, weezer, and elliot smith
i love reading and writing and i'm planning on writing a book
i get a lot of my writing inspo from the music i listen to
i basically write for characters i find attractive and i don't think im "big" enough to make a list of who i will write for but if you're interested lmk and ill make one !!
requests are always open i just can't promise i'll write every single one, although i will try :(
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meerealsssss · 3 months
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I think it's time to look at these panels again. REALLY REALLY REALLY LOOK AT THEM. Since some of y'all forgot some things. (This goes for comic writers too because Jesus fuck how hard is it to write a story where he loves his kids but knows his job puts them in danger so he distances them just to be safe)
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sanjisprincesswifey · 7 months
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whats your hot take on fanfics?
i don’t know if this is necessarily a hot take or not but you’re not obligated to think every writer is good/like their work.
everyone has different styles of writing and, for context, i have adhd so sometimes i don’t enjoy the way a creator will write because it’s difficult for me to read it so i choose not to partake in their content.
it’s honestly just a matter of preference, i’m sure a lot of people don’t enjoy my content either and that’s okay! you don’t have to like every piece of content, figure out what you like and consume that; that’s what makes having so many talented writers on this app fun, you get to choose!
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thepeachyouhadtopick · 8 months
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I got a really nice comment on ao3 yesterday about my Johnny Knoxville fic and it's the first comment I've had on there for literally MONTHS and it made me so happy!!!!!! leave comments on your ao3 reads it means soooo much to people
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thedreamydemon · 9 months
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I guess part 4
Hillbilly romance (Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader, Bam Margera x fem!reader)
These are so short. I’m just posting as I write…
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Bam and you had been dating for almost two years now. He wasn’t from your county. He came here from Pennsylvania when his father’s logging company moved in. He worked for the company on the business side of things. His father paid Bam a healthy salary, even though he was a bit of a slacker. You met Bam at the gas station when he came in for cigarettes. He was punk, kinda goth, skater-y. He was nothing like the people you knew, and you liked that.
Johnny, on the other hand, you had known all your life. You went to the same school as kids, stole your mother’s moonshine together, you were there when he got his hot rod and he was there when your dad then your mom died. The two of you were always friends. Though, there weren’t many others your age to be friends with.
The water at Mott’s pond was always clear and refreshing during the summer. Bam popped his head out of the water and kissed you. His lips were slick and wet. His mop of dark hair was dripping.
“You’re so sexy, baby.” Bam said then he kissed you again. You were wearing nothing but a white tee that was drenched and perfectly see through now. Bam was wearing nothing but his boxers. Your wet bodies melded together.
Mott’s pond was your favorite place to go when you wanted to get out of the house. The pond was great for fishing and swimming. When you were thirteen, you went skinny-dipping with Johnny in this pond. You were both so young and maybe a little curious. He still had his long hair back then. It was night time. That was the only time you had ever kissed Johnny.
“Will you marry me?” Bam was kneeling on the ground in front of you, holding out a dainty silver diamond ring. You weren’t in the water anymore. You were standing on the silty dirt by the pond. The wet sediment stuck to the bottoms of your feet.
People thought you might end up with Johnny, but it never happened that way. Truthfully, you had a crush on him at one time, but he would always manage to find sweet, stupid girls for little flings. You assumed he wasn’t interested in you as a romantic prospect, and the crush fizzled away eventually. Now here you were with Bam.
Peepaw could never tell the difference between Bam and Johnny. You’d given up on correcting him. Both of them were “that boy of yours” or “that peckerhead”.
“What?” You looked down at Bam. He was obviously annoyed now.
“Damn, babe!” Bam stood up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and his lips pecked your forehead lovingly. “Will you marry me?” He asked again softly.
Your lungs expanded slowly and fully as you took in a deep breath. You let the air escape through your nose. “No.” You responded simple as that.
Bam stepped back, holding you by the shoulders now. He tried to shake the disbelief from his head. “What? Really? No?”
“No.” You repeated, and Bam’s arms dropped to his sides. Your gaze dropped to the soft ground. You didn’t like saying ‘no’, but you couldn’t say ‘yes’. “I love you, Bam. And I wanna be your girlfriend. I guess, I’m not ready to get married right now.”
Bam was visibly upset. There was the slightest, almost imperceptible waver in his voice. “Well, when will you be ready? We’ve been dating for two years.”
“I don’t know,” you pushed around a clump of dirt with your toes.
Bam ran a hand though his damp hair. “Well,” he picked his shirt and pants off the grassy area of ground. “I guess I’ll take you home.”
Bam drove a sporty car. There were cigarette burns scattered through out the interior, CDs in both visors, and a silver HIM pendent dangling from the rearview mirror.
On the ride home you decided it was best to not say anything. You sat in the vehicle in tense awkward silence until pulling up to your house. “I’m sorry.” You almost whispered as Bam put the car in park. He didn’t shut off the engine.
Bam’s eyes looked glassy. “Yeah. Maybe we shouldn’t talk for a while.” Bam had more on his mind that he wasn’t willing to say. You closed the passenger door.
On your couch, you read the comics in yesterday’s paper. Your dog, Candy, sat on the couch with you. You grabbed your sketchbook from the coffee table and did some doodling to get your mind off things. You drew Dilbert, Garfield, Candy, Johnny Knoxville.
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philipjohnclapp · 10 months
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Great! Anyway I can request a Bam Margera x Female!Reader smutty imagine? Maybe Bam ends up meeting Johnny’s younger sister and they end up in a relationship at some point. While in said relationship maybe another cast member ends up flirting with her at a party to piss of Bam on purpose and it ends up leading to some protective Bam and jealous sex?
Sex Pollution
Jackass Imagine
A/N: To those who said I can’t write, get a load of this! Haha!
Imagine you’re Johnny Knoxville's sister, probably younger sister. You’re southern, with a real heavy drawl, and look almost identical to him. Maybe not, but you can definitely see resemblances. You grew up close, surely not a girly girl, you get your hands dirty with no questions asked. You’ve spent the start of your brother's career watching, like a bird. Never really met any of the guys, you didn’t really care. Steve-O was too wild, and you weren’t a fan of heavy drugs, Pontius was too flirty, and oddly, Preston and Wee-Man had their own duo, Dunn? Well, he seemed nice, but he didn’t have the best hygiene, and that was enough on its own to be a deal breaker. Who else were you missing?? Never mind…
You never really were looking for a relationship, really, or even a casual friendship. But things happen all the time; and when Jackass came to town, and your mother let these guys stay a few nights, your plans flipped upside down. You were left confused, flustered, and you felt like a teenage girl all over again. With some kid crush on a guy with such a cute face. Handsome like a guy should be, but he was pretty. Not pretty enough you’d mistake him for a girl, though. Just pretty enough for you to gawk at, to sneak around with when all the guys and your family are asleep. Getting drinks, and sneaking pecks on the lips. Before you knew it you were in your own secret relationship with a guy by the name; Bam Margera. It rolled off the tip of your tongue; and you liked it that way.
And then you moved on to Hollywood, the land of the stars. It was quick, sudden really. It wasn’t permanent, no, you were staying with your brother by day, and sneaking off into hotels by night. Because this whole Bam thing was getting serious. And then you found out party’s exist, and that opened a world of fun. Especially when you found out one of the guys was throwing a rager; and it may or may not be that oh so annoying guy you met months prior. Fucking Steve-O, but you couldn’t care less as you went hand and hand with your boyfriend. Having the time of your life.
Until you weren’t, well, you still were, with a few drinks down the hatch. The only one who was growing increasingly more disturbed, upset, was Bam. Some random guy, probably as high as anyone else was chatting you up a storm, and starting to get real handsy. He wasn’t completely random as you knew that face from the set, but with the alcohol in your system you just couldn’t tell who it was. You were polite, didn’t really wanna make a scene, so you used the excuse you needed to get another drink, smiled with your southern charm in full spring, and headed straight to the kitchen.
The minute you stepped away from the cast member and Bam was taking your place, you could see from the corner of your eye. He was threatening the guy. And it was almost funny to you. Almost. Because the moment you were in the kitchen, Bam was coming up behind you. Wrapping his arms around you and mumbling into your ear, his voice sounded so harsh for a whisper. Almost as rough as sandpaper,
“Fuck were you doing with that scum?”
He growled, like a feral dog. His embrace tightened as he pressed himself up against you. In the kitchen. You were stunned, letting out a breath of air that you felt like you hung onto almost too long as you stayed still, your brain short circuiting as you tried to come up with an answer. You swore you had one, but it popped like a bubble. Your head was as empty as the sky tonight. And Bam didn’t seem to care as he started talking again. His rough nails clawing your sides as he ran his hands up and down them like a cat scratching his owner's couch.
“It doesn’t matter, you know you’re all mine.”
You did. Well, if you didn’t before you certainly know now. His boner pressing against your asscrack was certainly showing it. And fuck, did you like being his. And Bam was gonna make sure you knew it.
He shoved you against the floating island, brushing all the cans, and needles, and lord knows what else off the counter as you bent over for him. Bam ripped your pants down so fast you could’ve sworn he ruined your jeans. Fuck. You couldn’t even be bothered to care as you arched your back for him. He ripped his own pants off with record speed, and would have broken the world record for that one as he slipped his boxers down completely.
Bam was as hard as a gun, and you couldn’t even be bothered with all the party goers so close. The chances of someone walking in and or seeing this was close to a hundred, fuck it probably was going to happen. You didn’t care, luckily Johnny wasn’t here. He’d skin Bam like a pig.
It seemed that Bam didn’t care either, he didn’t have any decency either as he just shoved himself inside of you, and you moaned instantly. Your walls clenching onto him as you squealed with pleasure. Jerking your hips forward instinctively as he started immediately with rough, quick thrusts. You could’ve gotten whiplash he was being so rough, all you could think was fuck as he dug his nails into your side, his other hand gripping hard into your hair, pulling your head back as he warned you,
“You’re mine…fuck…baby, you’re all mine.”
He grunted, letting out his own quiet moan as he quickened his pace. His thrusts getting all messy and desperate, the smell of sex polluting the kitchen and probably spoiling the alcohol as you both neared your climax. His grip on your hair tightened so much you thought he’d rip your hair out, and then he pushed himself deep inside of you, and you saw white as he came inside of you, and you came onto him, moaning as the pleasure swallowed you like a tornado. Fuck, you’ve never been so glad to be his.
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the-dragonlich · 1 year
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You ever see just the one worst fucking responses to a show being forced to wrap up early and rush it’s ending because it was cancelled.
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