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kaicubus · 1 year

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Dating Jules Vaughn

warnings ✩° : fluff headcanons, angst headcanons, jules being toxic, cheating, mentions of drug use, cursing.

pairing ✩° : jules vaughn x gn!reader

authors note ✩° : I WANTED TO POST SOMETHING TO SHOW IM STILL ALIVE. getting stuff done tomorrow so i’ll be occupied, but trust in me...wayne stuff and aib coming soon...

- Jules is probably the most interesting person you’ll meet in your life time. That’s not to say you yourself aren't, it’s just that Jules is a very different kind of interesting. You like to describe her as if Luna Lovegood and Sailor Moon had a secret love child, because that’s exactly who she is.

- She’s the definition of spontaneous. The type to sneak into your backyard and climb up to your room just to show you a funny post by someone you both mutually dislike and laugh about it for the entire night, or the type to get up and start dancing out of no where. Dead wife trope kinda.

- Around you, Jules is seriously so clingy. She loves showing PDA and showing people you're hers and vice versa, there’s no problem if you start to feel insecure about being lesser than anyone else because Jules will always shoo that feeling away by holding your hand or kissing you in the halls.

- One thing you guys love to do together is each others makeup. If you like more subtle, natural looks, you’ll recreate them on her and she’ll recreate her favorite looks of her own or even go all out. Nights like those always end up in you two not taking each other seriously because you end up messing her eyeliner or she pokes your eye by accident.

- If you're not an anime fan, Jules converts you. But if you already are, you both will spend hours talking about old 90′s anime or new generation magical girl, slice of life, or psychological horror shows as well as your favorite characters and ships in each. If there’s a couple on screen, she’ll ask you which one you are and which one she is. Madoka and Homura for real...

- Jules could give less of a fuck what other people think of her. After what happened in front of Nate that one time early on, everyone’s already cautious around her, seeing her as a ticking time bomb before she goes off again and ends up hurting herself or someone else. But if someone fucks with you? They might as well consider themselves dead at that point because they're next on her hit humiliate list.

- I don’t really see Jules being loyal. Obviously. So when you guys have an argument or you accidentally ignore her for too long, she gets really insecure or intoxicated and ends up cheating on you with either one of her friends or one of yours. At first, you didn’t know and when she ends up telling you when things die down and everything’s back to normal, she tries to play it off like it wasn't that big of a deal.

- You guys go on multiple breaks but always end up back with each other.

- Very honest when she wants to be, though sometimes it’s hidden beneath a condescending or unsure laugh. She just can’t handle people being boring, even if it comes to you.

“Maybe you shouldn't wear that, Y/n...”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Uhmmmm...haha...never mind! Keep it on, you look great!”

- Being close to Jules also means you're close to her dad. He treats you like you're his kid, always lets you stay at their house if you want, feeds you, and sometimes even pays for things you want. Jules gets embarrassed but she knows how much he cares and loves that you two get along.

- Always going to parties and getting wasted together or being the only sober one, taking care of Jules.

- You are her safe haven, a judge free zone where she can relax and say what’s on her mind.

#kaicubus #euphoria #euphoria imagine #euphoria fanfic #euphoria fic #euphoria headcanons #euphoria preferences #jules euphoria #jules vaughn euphoria #jules vaughn #jules vaughn x reader #jules vaughn x you #jules vaughn x y/n #gn!reader #jules x reader #jules x rue #headcanons #preferences

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infernalodie · 11 months

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𝐋𝐈𝐄 || 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐕𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐧

“𝘐 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘔𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯“

Inspo: Ruel - Lie Giveon - Lie Again

Pairing: Jules Vaughn x Black!Male!reader

Summary: A lie would be enough to ease the pain...

Warnings: Angst and more angst

Words: 3364

It was a breath held under the surface of the water. You could keep it for only so long before your chest heaved for oxygen. And eventually, you would have to come back up, gasping to feel the weight in your chest lessen. Judging by the look in her eyes, you could see she was fighting to stay underneath with you, wanting to savour the peace and warmth still able to be offered to her. Hoping to find the focus to hold on a little longer. She wasn’t dying, but its slow absorption of willpower was killing her. And you didn’t want to take any more days from her when she deserved so much more.

“I-I don’t want to keep you from being happy, Jules,” you whispered, fingers fiddling together. The itchiness on the inside of your nose made you aware of the tears blossoming along the brim of your eyes. “And I know I’m not who you want anymore.” Forcing a smile, you looked up at the girl. Tears slipped down your cheeks that were reddened. “But I-I understand. I won’t keep you away from living your life. I’m just happy I got to know you and be called ‘yours’.”

Jules didn’t know if it was the softness of your work cracking or her own heart hating to believe that she’d fallen out of love, but she couldn’t hold back the tears. Her lips begin to tremble, walking toward you and her hands cupping your cheeks.

She wanted to hold you forever and make you forget that this was happening, but she knew that you were smart enough to know that if she said anything else to keep you here, it would be a lie. She would be saving herself from the guilt of a lie that the two of you have been too scared to acknowledge for the past two months. Now, it was meeting the head and there was nothing else that could be done besides admitting there wasn’t much left here to salvage. And Jules hated admitting it, but she was the cause of this.

Every day you tried to make it better than the last. Maybe it was only now you were realizing it was just wasted energy. She’d made you put up with her distance for the last two months and made you think this was your fault.

But you thought that was the case. How couldn’t you when you had planned your life around things the two of you talked about? Making promises that were too good to be true. Moving to a small town to pursue something that could become forever. Or to just seek a better education before looking at NYU and seeing if it was in the cards for the two of you. The speed of plans you had come up with might’ve become too overwhelming for her and it might’ve made her interest in keeping something like that deteriorate into flakes of ash.

So, you had to allow her to go on and you had to accept that living this lie wasn’t going to save you from the loneliness you thought could be cleansed.

Your cold skin in contrast to her warm touch makes you shiver under her hold. Stepping closer, wanting to hold onto this feeling for as long as you could. But you knew the sooner you left, the easier it would be to move on.

So, with a shaky breath, you grabbed her hands and pulled them from your face. “I let you go, honey.” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you felt your bottom lip quiver, sniffling. “Goodbye, Jules.” You spoke with just above a whisper and were gone before Jules had a chance to apologize for the pain she placed on you.

The mornings were as normal as they could get for you. Sun peaking through the cracks of blinds, warming your ebony skin that had a cool layer that developed overnight. The bland smell of your own body odour and the chill of loneliness.

You fucking hated it.

Nothing eventful came from your mornings. Living in an apartment alone with enough open space to house a roommate kinda left more to be desired than you had once believed. But by the time you moved to East Highland, the place was already locked in and you had to live out your lease until you could look for a smaller place in the same complex. Maybe a few floors above and along the edge of the building. Preferably with a balcony so you could stare out at the stars and sleep outside. That would be nice.

You grabbed a yogurt cup from your empty fridge and sat on your bed. Humming at the taste of vanilla replenishes your energy. You got dressed and grab your phone, bookbag, lanyard, and water bottle. Locking the door of your apartment before making your way downstairs. Taking the tedious and mundane stairwell instead of the elevator that seemed to be on the brink of breaking at any moment.

It’d been nearly a year since you moved to East Highland. Moving wasn’t too difficult with the lack of belongings pledged your name of investment. Bringing only a suitcase, a dresser, a bed, one of each utensil, and plastic plates. It was enough for you

“What’s up, buddy?” Rue greeted, squinting under the glow of the sun. “I thought you slept in. I was tempted to break in and steal your fridge.”

“Why just my fridge?” You laughed, turning your head toward the other girl, smiling softly. “Also, hi Gia.”

The neglected girl smiled, giving you a friendly wave as you fiddled with the many keys on your lanyard. “Rough morning?” She asked, tilting her head as she leaned against the side of your Toyota Corolla.

“Uh, I-I guess you could say that.” You shrugged half-heartedly, forcing a smile. “But it’s a bit better with your hoe of a sister now here and you to keep her in line.”

Gia smiled, but Rue flipped your off. “Listen here you a little bottom bitch-!” Rue laughed, pointing at you.

Moving here and making friends wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would’ve been. And honestly, you jumped between groups in your class each day. Sometimes you hung out with the science geeks who made you explore your way of thinking. Then you hung out with Rue which always ended with fucking around during lunch. Lexi, Kat, Cassie, and Maddy were another group that welcomed you.

But it felt odd to have friends when you still felt so alone. Maybe it was because you knew the moment you dropped Rue and Gia off, you wouldn’t be spending any more time with anyone. You would end up sitting in your room on your phone, watching sitcoms, giggling to yourself, playing with your guitar, and smoking weed from your fire escape. And you wished you could say that you got used to the silence but there was a level of inconsistency of enjoyment with being alone.

So, you lied your way through the days and nights. Hoping that if you ignored the truth of reality things might get better. But you knew better. Holding onto something as such was fruitless in the grand scheme of things.

Driving to school, you sat silently as the two sisters blasted music out of the speakers. The sheer volume of the base made your brain rattle. But their presence was enough to bring you hope that the day might go well.

Arriving at school, you locked your car before falling the pair. Bidding Gia farewell as she jogged over to her friends, leaving you and Rue to walk in the direction of the sophomore end of the school.

“What’d I miss the past two days?” You asked, shoving your keys in your pocket, and turning your head toward your friend.

“Oh, I thought you weren’t interested after abandoning me,” Rue teased, flicking your chin. “But it’s the same as last year. We got a test in 2 weeks for Algebra, so I hope you are still smart as you were before the summer.”

She poked your forehead, making you groan, slapping her hand away. “Work offered extra hours and I need the money,” you defended. “I’m sure Principle Hayes will understand if he calls me down.”

The two of you arrived at your guys’ lockers, putting away your belongings and grabbing your needed books. “Well, I met someone at that party I think McKay hosted.”

“Finally gonna get your pussy wet?” You quipped, earning a flick of your ear.

“Nah, man. I wanna get to know her better, you know?” She said. “Her whole aesthetic is right up my alley.”

You hummed. “Well, it sounds like you’re already head over heels for her-”

“Oh, she’s right there.” Rue waved her hand enthusiastically. “Jules!”

You choked on your spit, eyes snapping in the direction that you saw the familiar flow of blonde hair just down the hall. The same ol’ abstract makeup and bright-coloured clothes that made her stand out. She looked older now. Maybe a bit more mature. You couldn’t be quite sure, but she was still beautiful.

But that’s when the questions started appearing in your head like the sight of flashing headlights. Why is she here? When did she get here? Did she even know this was the place you were wanting to move to with her? Or did she come here on purpose?

No. No, no, no, that is just the innocence of your heart still linked to the memory of her. It’s hard to imagine it otherwise, but you knew this wasn’t purposeful. And judging by the shocked look on her face, you were right in your assessment.

Hard to believe that you cried over this girl. You missed her day in and day out since you gave her a chance to grow into who she wanted. But if you’d known she would’ve ended up coming back into your life, you might’ve been selfish and kept her close. Allow yourself to live in a false reality, which in return would be torture for Jules.

It was just too much for you to even have on your mind. Leaving you to back away, brows pinching together as you turned heel and ran in the direction of the front doors. Not daring to meet your ex’s gaze once more.

And it led you driving all the way home with tenseness in your limbs. The faint twitch of anxiety, causes you to groan in aggravation. You were sat in what was supposed to be your living room. Only a piano, coffee table, and a bean bag resemble a relaxing area. A joint rested between your lips as you sat on the soft foam with your eyes closed. Chest rising and falling with an occasional stutter of an exhale, trying to suppress.

You didn’t want to cry over her. Jules didn’t deserve that. Although you love her, she didn’t deserve anything besides growth and your soft, yet, bittersweet exit in her life. If you were in a different universe, perhaps you might be open to the idea of her reentering your life. Maybe even giving the relationship one last try.

But after months of heartbreak and self-acceptance of the truth, you couldn’t do it again. It wasn’t fair to yourself and it wasn’t fair to her when you knew that you still felt things for her. All that would come from the two of you being close is you reliving those feelings and putting Jules in a situation that wouldn’t be beneficial for either of you. So, you needed to find something or do something that could definitively cancel it out completely.

Yet, the sound of your doorbell made you snap up in alarm. Dropping your joint on your sweatpants, causing it to splash ash across your joggers. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You picked it up, taking one last puff before running to your bedroom. The doorbell rang again. “Yea’, give me a moment!” You tossed the joint out the window, exhaling the cloud before slamming the window shut and jogging to the front door.

Undoing the handle lock, you pulled the door open as far as the latch allowed it. Peeking out carefully to see Jules. You wanted to slam the door and stop there any chance of the two of you interacting. But she saw you before you could decide, smiling faintly.

“Hey.” Her greeting was soft and almost incomplete by the hesitation in her wavering tone.

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you sniffled. “Rue told you where I live, huh?” You knew the answer to the question. Rue was willing to do anything for her friends, so you weren’t surprised she would help Jules. Especially since it wasn’t hard to tell by the way she talked about Jules that she liked her.

Jules chuckled quietly, nodding. You hummed, exhaling softly. “Why’re you here, Jules?” You questioned, straight to the point. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Can I come in?” Jules asked, staring up at you with those enchanting eyes that won you over all those years ago. It was hard to deny her request, with your feelings and all. So, you wordlessly closed the door and undid the latch before opening the door, welcoming her inside.

When she stepped through, she was quick to take in everything. From the lack of furniture to the seemingly sudden chill that filled the apartment, she stepped in. It was hard for her to realize that this was what would’ve been her place as well if she hadn’t been caught up in conflicting thoughts a year ago. But that was all over now. It hurt, but Jules knew she wasn’t allowed to talk or think about the “what if’s”. She did enough thinking when the two of you made promises about your shared futures.

And she knew she was going to have to live with that for the rest of her life.

“Now, answer my questions.” Jules turned around, finding you walking around the island and opening your fridge.

“I just want to tell you that me moving to East Highland wasn’t intentional, alright?” Jules defended. “If I’d known, I would go far away so I wouldn’t hurt you.”

It hurt, honestly. But you kept a neutral expression as you pulled out a beer, using the ring around your middle finger to pry the cap open. Sniffling, you looked up at Jules, a simple and easy look of offer that she accepted with a smile. Taking the beer and taking a sip as you grabbed one of your own.

Leaning against the counter, you quietly sipped your drink. The silence slowly built with the acknowledgement that this reunion was awkward. It was expected. But it didn’t make it any easier for the two of you to try and move around it.

“It isn’t much, but it was all I could fit into the cheapest U-Haul. And it’s not like I have a lot to my name,” you said, chuckling to yourself. The entire idea of moving out of the city was your parents and the school you and Jules had been going to was shit. But it had been your parents that made you decide that you needed to get the fuck out of there before you experienced anything more that could traumatize you. And Jules knew this and was in full support and ready to embark on this unknown path with her father’s backing. He had even been willing to get a place in the same area to be there if anything happened. “But I’ll probably aim to go somewhere else when this year is up. Save up as much as I can before I head out.”

“Where do you plan on going?” Jules questioned, hoisting herself onto the island opposite to you. You shrugged, looking down at your feet. The action was interrupted by Jules placing her foot at the center of your chest. It wasn’t purposeful, but your gaze instinctively ran up the smooth texture of her leg. All the way up to the bottom hem of her skirt gave you a faint peek of what more could be under your warm gaze. And then you finally met her gaze, which was delicate. “Answer me, Y/n.”

Those same old desires slowly rose to the surface, battling with how you wished to be now. You could kick her out. You could save yourself from making a mistake in this situation. You could just ignore it and try to move around the clear intentions of her actions.

“Why’re you ignoring me?” Her question took a few moments to register, but when they did you blinked rapidly and cleared your throat. Moving away just enough to make her foot drop.

“I don’t where I plan on going next,” you said, hoping that your explanation would make her forget the hold she had on you. “It all depends on the costs. I got enough money to support the trips, but it’s securing a place and 3 months' worth of rent. I guess it just depends on where life thinks I should go.”

Jules nodded, humming softly. “Is it also because of me? Is this a sudden decision now knowing I’m here?” She asked, placing her bottle down. Hopping down from the island as she continued. “Or is it because you still feel something toward me?”

“Jules, we can’t do this,” you whispered, swallowing the lump in your throat. She placed her hands on your stomach, running over the ruts of your abs, humming in approval. She always loved your body. Your height, your structure, your ebony skin, your calloused hands, it was all something she missed near her. “Jules, we can’t-”

“Tell me a lie, Y/n,” she muttered, almost making you have to question her to repeat it. “Tell me that we’ll somehow work past our problems and that we’re supposed to be together.”

You couldn’t help the stinging of your nose appears. It felt like you were transported back to that day a year ago. Forced to relive the foul memory burnt into your brain leading to you to wonder what could’ve been done differently. How things might’ve turned out now and/or if you two would’ve lasted long enough after the move to East Highland.

So many futures are left unwritten because of someone’s heart committed to seeing them out. And you’d never blame it on her. The cards were dealt and she held them close, but there would have to be a time she played them. It just turns out that the order she played them left you discouraged to continue.

You weren’t vital to her anymore. Well, not like you used to be. Things were different now and as much as you’d like just cradle her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear, it wouldn’t be right. You’d be lying to her and yourself. And ever since she left you, you’ve left no opening for anyone to get close like she once did. She was your last and only true picture of love and you didn’t want to take that picture out of the frame. So, you’d store it away in the back of your mind to never be touched but to be remembered as to why you would allow your heart to sit idle. Waiting to find the person that made it skip a beat.

But that fulfillment felt farther and farther each day. It’s once prestigious idolization you made in your head, now a mere hollow husk of disappointment.

Much like she had done that day, your hands cradled her face gently. Your eyes take in each defining feature and cherish it. Willing to die gratefully with the knowledge that she was the last person and only person to ever be yours.

So, you smiled. One of sorrow and regret. “Lying to you would be the last thing you deserve, Jules,” you whispered, making the girl whimper, eyes clamping shut. You felt your lips wobble, pulling the girl into your chest where you pressed a kiss to her head. “We were doomed from the start, honey.”

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nebulablakemurphy · 2 years

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All For You (Pt. 8)

Warning: this is a mature series that includes mentions of drug use/overdose, mental illness, explicit language and mentions of sex.

“Big push,” the doctor encourages from the bottom of Y/N’s hospital bed. Elliot kisses the top of the leg he’s holding. Jules and Rue both have a hand.

Y/N bears down, pushing with gritted teeth.

“You got it baby,” Rue whispers, against Y/N’s ear. “It’s all you.”

Finally.

“It’s a girl!” When the tiny baby is placed on Y/N’s chest no one moves. Their muscles tense, frozen in place. The infant begins to wail, sending Jules into motion.

“You ok?” Jules asks Y/N, gently releasing her hand.

“Yeah.” Y/N breathes.

“I’m gonna take her.” Jules whispers, reaching for the newborn.

Y/N nods.

Elliot hesitates, the thought of letting Y/N go, especially now, feels odd to him. Like she just had his baby. Surely he should hold onto her for a minute, make sure she’s ok.

“Go ahead, dad.” Y/N gives him a tired smile, as she nuzzles against Rue.

He lowers Y/N’s limb onto the bed. Swiping a hand over his eyes, which are suddenly wet from looking at the baby in Jules’ arms. She’s perfect. From the moment Jules touched her she hasn’t made a sound. Wide eyes staring out at the world, at her mother, at him.

Elliot wraps his arms around Jules.

“She’s perfect.” The blonde murmurs.

“Just like you.”

Time passes differently after. After labor and birth and her. Lux.

Lux loves to be held, by Y/N, Rue and Elliot. Especially Jules.

They spend the rest of the day together, the four of them and the newest member of their family.

Eventually Rue and Elliot make their exit, to tend Sawyer and Cameron at home. Being apart never gets easier, they just got used to it; knowing they would be together again.

Jules climbs into the hospital bed that night, at Y/N’s request, facing each other at the edges of the twin size mattress.

Suddenly the bed is moving, pushing them both upwards.

“Jules,” Y/N whispers, as not to wake the baby.

“I didn’t touch anything.”

“Jules, your ass is pressing the button.” Y/N can barely get the words out, she’s laughing too hard.

Jules moves in closer, away from the railing with the control panel, slowing maneuvering the bed back down with her finger. “Sorry.”

“It’s all good.” Y/N nuzzles against the pillow. She can’t wait to go home, back to her own bed. Back to Sawyer and Cameron, back to Rue.

“Are you happy?”

Y/N smiles softly, brushing a stand of blonde hair over Jules shoulder. “Yeah. Are you?”

Jules blinks quickly, her chin trembling.

“Don’t cry.” Did she change her mind?

“I’m just so happy.” Jules assures her. Resting her forehead against Y/N’s. “It still doesn’t feel real, you know? Like I actually get to keep her.”

“She’s yours.”

“I’ll never be able to tell you how thankful I am for everything you’ve done.”

“Jules, you don’t need to thank me.”

“I hope she always looks like you. Then I can have a piece of you with me forever.” Jules tears up a bit at this.

Y/N bats at the traitorous tears escaping from her own eyes. “I’m literally across the street. I’m not going anywhere, we just refinanced.”

“I love you so much,” Jules tells her.

“I love you too.”

“Do you think I’ll be good at this?” Being a mom.

“I think you’re gonna be amazing.”

“I hope so.”

“And if you need me, I’ll be there.”

“I’ll always need you.”

“Fuck,” Y/N sniffles. “Enough. I can’t do this with my hormones right now.”

Jules let’s out a quiet laugh. “Sorry.”

———————————————————————

They leave the hospital together. Elliot carrying Lux out in her carseat. Y/N in the wheelchair she doesn’t actually need, but Rue insists she ride to the parking lot. Love is funny that way.

The first night is long. Lux isn’t used to the bassinet, it’s bigger than her cot at the hospital. Jules and Elliot take turns. Y/N and Rue give them their space.

But Y/N wakes to the sound each time anyway. This time, to her surprise, she finds not Jules or Elliot quietly rocking the newborn, but “Rue?”

“She looks just like you.” Rue murmurs. “That’s what Elliot gets for Cameron.”

Y/N huffs a laugh.

“It’s gonna be interesting. A little piece of you just running around out there.”

“It’s all good things, Rue.”

“I know…I love you.”

“I know,” Y/N assures her, “I love you more.”

———————————————————————

Sleepless nights bleed into early mornings. The hustle of their new life joining their old life is difficult at first, but becomes normal.

It’s not until Lux is three months old that Elliot and Jules begin sleeping at their house again. Leaving only the bassinet behind as a reminder of what had been.

It feels wrong the day Elliot comes to collect it. Like finally closing the worn binding of a book held open to a page for too long.

“Are you ok, baby?” He asks, as Y/N holds open the front door for him.

“I’m ok,” Y/N nods, holding the wooden frame harsher than strictly necessary.

“Do you want me to stay with you until Rue gets home?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “go be with your family, Elliot.”

Elliot sets the bassinet down on the front porch, coming to close the distance between them. “You’re my family too.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I love you and I would be here every second if you let me. I understand that we have boundaries, but Jules and I didn’t set them. We respect them, and we’ll continue to do that. But if you need us here, if you need Lux here-”

“I don’t need Lux here.” Y/N whispers. “I love her, but she’s not mine. And I knew that one day I would have to let her go.”

Elliot takes another step forward, “I’m right across the street if you need me.”

“I know, Elliot.” Y/N forces a smile.

He takes a deep breath in, running a hand over his face. Elliot knows Y/N, what she’s about to do. Allow the pent up emotions to hit her like a tidal wave, all alone while the kids are at school and Rue is at work. She won’t cry for help, even if she gets in too deep. She’ll pick up the pieces before anyone even knows.

“Text me later?”

Y/N leans forward, pecking a kiss to his cheek. “Every night and day for the rest of your life.”

“I’ll take it.” He chuckles.

——————————————————————-

“So I guess this is it.” Jules shrugs, standing at the doorway of Elliot’s tiny apartment, that has begun to feel like home.

“But we’ll be back to visit at least once a week and Jules is coming home on semester break.”

“And Christmas.” Rue adds.

“And Christmas,” Jules confirms.

Elliot nods, “I told you guys, I’m good.” And he’s gonna stay that way.

#all for you #rue bennett imagine #elliot euphoria #jules vaughn imagine #before you #euphoria #because of you #rue bennett #jules vaughn #jules vaughn x reader #jules vaughn x you #elliot x y/n #rue bennett x you #rue euphoria #rue bennet x reader

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nebulaafterdark · 2 years

Text

Spicy Masterlist

ALL WORKS ARE 18+

All To Myself

Only For You

Rue being your first time

Banging the heck out of each other

Elliot & Rue Spicy Headcanons

Baby Making 1.0

Zero Pressure

Only For You

Spicy Headcanons

Jules & Elliot Spicy Headcanons

Elliot & Rue Spicy Headcanons

Only For You

Spicy headcanons

Jules & Elliot Spicy Headcanons

NSFW Alphabet

#elliot smut #elliot euphoria #rue bennett smut #elliot imagine #elliot one shot #elliot x reader #elliot x y/n #rue bennett x you #rue bennett one shot #rue bennett x y/n #jules vaughn x you #jules vaughn smut #jules vaughn imagine #masterlist #michelle jones x you #michelle jones smut #michelle jones x reader #michelle jones

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jjsmaybank20 · 1 year

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𝔼𝕦𝕡𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕒 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

✰ - Personal Favorite ✎ - Most inspired for rn

Maddy Perez ✎

1. Finally Got the Girl [fluff] ✰

2. Intervention [angst, fluff]

nothing yet

Cassie Howard

nothing yet

Lexi Howard ✎

nothing yet

1. Rainy Day [fluff] ✰

2. The Project [fluff]

Fezco (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Rue Bennett (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Jules Vaughn (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Kat Hernandez (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Ashtray (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

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jazzsonly · 7 months

Text

ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴏꜰꜰ

pairing(s): maddy perez x fem!reader (no pronouns used.)

warning(s): angst? arguing? none technically. old fic meaning old ass writing.

summary: you can't understand why Maddy won't save your failing relationship

part two. (coming soon!)

────────✬────────

you were laid against fezco's couch while you, him, and rue shared a blunt. tv on, with a random movie blaring from it. you don't know, you weren't really paying attention. maddy was clouding your mind as she usually did.

you had your sixth argument alone this week. you were tired—you couldn't understand. everything was fine. you were fine—more than fine, you were happy. so was maddy or at least you thought because all she seemed to do was start an argument lately. the weirdest part: she'd get even more mad when you tried to deescalate the situation and understand her.

"i think jules is cheating on me." rue announced, blowing smoke from her nose.

"oh word?" fezco let out while I was hummed in response.

was that it? was maddy cheating on you? no. you held her too high to think of her doing that.

"she’a been hanging with elliot a lottt." rue dragged her words.

"maybe you should ask her..." you trail off.

“you know, communicate.”

"yea’ that's word. communication is key." you both turn to fezco.

"when have you been in a relationship?" rue asked the question you were both thinking.

"don’t worry about me—I know a little some." you snort, you loved fez. you knew if you needed anything he had you.

"yo, there's this weird ass old guy out back." everyone looked at ashtray who held a shotgun in his hands.

"fuck, man."

fez stood and turned to both of you, "y'all should head out."

you didn't ask any questions, standing up you made your way to the door. rue behind you as well, grumbling about how she was comfortable.

"you need a ride?" you asked the Bennett.

"nah I got a bike."

✬

maddy's house was on the way to yours so you figured why not stop by. you weren't in the mood to argue so you thought maybe you could get her relaxed and watch a movie.

you knocked on the door a totaled or three times before her mom open it,

"y/n?" she seemed oddly surprised to see you.

"hey mrs.perez, is maddy here?"

"yeah, she's in her room." she pointed to the familiar stairs, stepping aside to let you.

you followed the route upstairs, knocking on the bedroom door twice before peaking your head in. maddy on her bed, phone to her ear. her eyes met you face and she rolled her eyes before telling whoever (assumed Cassie) on the phone she'd call them later.

"hey—I was on my way home and wanted to stop by, hope you don't min—

"come here." you followed, closing the door behind you. surprisingly, she pulled you into a hug, after placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

"listen, I don't wanna argu—

"were you smoking?" she questioned, sniffing your shirt that had a light scent of weed.

"yeah, just a little." you mutter already having an idea where this was going.

"you've been doing it a lot—and you've been hanging with rue."

"i’m not on that shit, maddy. just some weed and light drinking. just to relax." you huff at her accusation.

"drinking too? what? you gonna end of like my dad AND rue?" here you go.

"maddy—"

"you’re so fucking selfish." here come the insults.

“i do it because of you!" you blurt of out, voice rising.

"me? no you do because you're fucking self and only think about yourself. god—i should've known when i found you were friends with rue and fez."

you perk up, pointing your finger. “they're good people. don’t you fucking look down on them."

you weren't normally defensive but you weren't gonna let her shit talk your people.

"look, maddy, i didn't come here for this shit. so call me when you get your head on right, bro." you stood, trying to exit of the door you came in but maddy’s hand caught your wrist.

"stay."

"i just—

"we can watch a movie." she gave you doe eyes and you contemplated for a second.

if you stay you know you'd probably argue again but there's also a chance you can be civil. but that was a 75 to 35 ratio

"please, baby."

you sigh, sitting back down.

━━━ 👩🏽‍💻

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teaaagan · 10 months

Text

Bed

Jules: When you said you’re magic in bed this isn’t exactly what I was expect-

Y/N holding up a card: Is this your card?

Jules softly: Holy shit

#incorrect quotes #euphoria x male reader #euphoria incorrect quotes #euphoria #euphoria x reader #euphoria x fem!reader #euphoria x you #euphoria x y/n #jules vaughn #jules euphoria #jules vaughn euphoria #jules vaughn x reader #jules vaughn x fem reader #jules vaughn x female reader #jules vaughn x male reader #jules vaughn x gn reader #jules vaughn x fem!reader #jules vaughn x male!reader #jules vaughn x gn!reader

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artemistics · 1 year

Photo

Rules ✧ 2.02

#rules #rue x jules #rue bennett x jules vaughn #rue bennett #jules vaughn #ruebennettedit #julesvaughnedit #rulesedit #euphoria #euphoriaedit #euphoria hbo #paleresource #paletmblr #you can pry them from my cold d*ad hands

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theemptyartdeco · 8 months

Text

Twin Tides (Nate Jacobs)

Summary:

Kaitlyn Arundel, a former prep school princess from New York City, was a pawn in her parents' war of a divorce, had a fire in her that was concealed by a facade of naivety and perfection.

Nate Jacobs is the king of the monsters that once haunted him, a master of control born from his own nightmares.

When their worlds collide, lines blur and reflections emerge, hinting that perhaps, they're not as different as they seem.

Materlist

Chapter 2 Calmness amidst the Storm | Kaitlyn

Warning: This chapter contains prejudice, strong pejorative language and internalized misogyny. (Both of them are deeply flawed characters, read at your own discretion.)

Kaitlyn Arundel belonged to everywhere but nowhere.

To the glamorous New York, to the exotic Beijing, to melancholic Vancouver, Kaitlyn came, breathed and lived. She didn’t mind the habitual change of scenery. Why would she ever? She adored the privilege of flying above the world, rainy wooden scent of the northwestern coast, the foreign and mysterious capital of an ancient civilization and the vibrancy and grandeur of the city where dreams were made of.

But finding herself in a Californian suburban town was something that had almost sent her over the edge of anger and despair.

“Sweet daughter, it doesn’t matter whether you are in New York or anywhere else. Diamond shines everywhere it travels to.”

“Don’t you blame it on me. It’s your father’s fault that I can’t afford your private tuitions and ballet training anymore.”

“I will be sending allowance on your card. Don’t you ever worry. It’s your mother I am punishing, not you.”

“Kaitlyn, I’ve looked into your profile, 4.2 GPA, outstanding volunteering experience. Keep your academic records as it is, you will get into college in no time.”

Getting to a college? Is the man fucking serious? I do not belong to some low life community college. I belong to an Ivy.

“Kaitlyn.”

“Ms. Arundel.”

“I’m sorry,” She adjusted her skirt, forcing the anger and tears down her throat by smiling gracefully, “Please go on.”

“As I was saying, I know transferring across half the country in the middle of your senior year may unsettling,” the principal continued, the appreciation in his voice now laced with a hint of impatience, “But I assure you, there is no need to be.”

“Thank you, Principal Hayes,” Kaitlyn nodded, putting a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing the discreetly ostensible round pearl earring, “To hear this from you offers me great relief.”

Relief my ass.

Every step Kaitlyn took toward the AP Calculus classroom, she felt as if she were Cersei Lannister in Games of Thrones, walking down atonement among stinking peasants of King’s Landing.

Some guys with their poorly arranged shirts smirked at her way, their lustful eyes gazing under her black skirt, while a group of girls whose laughter sounded like those horrendous traffic honking in downtown New York bumped the side of her shoulder, misplacing her expensive shirt.

She peeked back at the the group of girls. Fluorescent pants, their full breasts bouncing blatantly in their tops that served to enhance their youthful sexuality.

They would’ve been sent home, she scoffed, with a slight tilt of her brows, if only this was at the Trinity.

She sat herself in the corner of the first row instead of the centre where she wished to be. She liked attention. Especially the type of attention she receives effortlessly simply by dressing, walking and smiling they way she did. But something about placing in front of twenty ish hormonal teenagers unsettled her. Most importantly, the spot offered her opportunity to observe.

The teacher went on and on about the limit of a function, a notion she had leant in junior year, Kaitlyn’s gaze wandered subtly unnoticeably. One girl was the first of her subject of observation. The makeup on her face was smoky and bold, her winged eyeliner almost reached her brows. She, like almost other girl in East Highland High, wore a short tank top revealing her belly button and petite waist. Then, at least, her eyes finally landed on her breasts, again. They were plump, her round skin rubbed against each other and the rough texture of her top. They captured her attention uncontrollably.

She felt the sensation of her tight, black, push-up bra constraining her flesh like a 19th century corset.

But she loved Victorian corsets.

But it burnt, it hurt.

She returned her mind on the paper, but the image of their horrendous laughter and rude demeanour, the way their breasts bouncing freely and shamelessly played again and again.

Just as she breathed soothingly, preparing to drown herself in the world of mathematics once more, her eyes landed on Nate Jacobs.

Wearing a large blue hoodie, it was obvious in his eyes that his mind was filled with calculations beyond the math.

That night at the carnival, he touched her.

He dared to touch her.

“A lot of men would try to het their hands on a beautiful girl like you. You don’t want to find yourself in that kind of situation.”

Was that a threat?

Nate Jacobs was the image of an archetype she disdained: the arrogant jock, stupid and practically illiterate, actions dictated by sex hormones instead of the brain. Yet the way he spoke to her with the calm and charming mask he had worn , even later that night, the threatening way his gaze locked to that his girlfriend and the way he grabbed her for messing his pride…

For the first time in this dreadful school, Kaitlyn was excited. Among the hormonal driven teenagers, there was a wrestler.

An embodiment of physical strength and strategy.

To be frank, Nate Jacobs had occupied a portion of her mind. A disgust boiled in her stomach as Kaitlyn is recalled the unabashedly greedy look the faces of those pathletic and arrogant high school boys, but Nate Jacobs was everything she liked about men.

Kaitlyn Arundel had made a long mental checklist of the things she liked and disliked about men.

She liked white shirts, crisp and clean, but not the ones that hadn’t seen an iron in weeks.

She liked tall boys, but didn't mind the shorter ones as long as their bodies were in shape.

She hated unkempt appearances, but there was nothing on planet Earth she hated more than fat arms and a round belly.

She liked jeans, snug but not too tight.

She liked sweaters.

She liked confidence, but despised misplaced arrogance, the bluster without the backbone.

She never understood boys who wore makeup, felt it hid more than it showed.

It was one of the things she first noticed about Nate. His confidence didn't just show, it roared.

“Mr. Jacobs, please come with us.”

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Principal Hayes’ voice.

“Maddy fainted, and they found bruises on her neck,” a girl whispered to the person next to her.

“And they think that Nate did it!”

Kaitlyn immediately recalled the image of him dragging Maddy furiously away from the booth after she had called his mom the c word.

To Kaitlyn, the idea of Nate leaving those marks on Maddy wasn’t unsettling. If someone had humiliated her that publicly, she might not have drawn blood, but she'd certainly have sought revenge — maybe by obliterating her future.

An hour later.

“Ms. Arundel, do you consider Nate Jacobs to you a violent individual?”

“No, officer. Nate Jacobs is one of the few who had shown me kindness since my transition to a completely new environment. He is an honest, generous and kind person . I truly believe he wouldn’t do such a thing. He's just not that kind of person.”

Author’s note: after writing this chapter, I realized that her pov, perhaps, is more and disturbing and Nate pov chapters. Even I, the author, got a little disturbed while writing. I know there aren’t as much dramas in the these first two chapters, but I believe it’s essential to take the time to establish their worldviews and give a glimpse of their internal battles. Like Nate, there is a reason why Kaitlyn is the way she is. Her backstory will be explored. Thank you for reading!

Comment pls pls pls! Your comments mean everything to me!

Tag list: @dani-is-a-princess @wabi-sabi1090 @tember1

#euphoria #nate jacobs #nate jacobs x reader #nate jacobs fanfic #fanfic #rue bennett #nate jacobs x you #maddy perez #jules vaughn #jacob elordi

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stuismybf · 2 years

Text

addict - e

summary: you come with your boyfriend elliot to talk to rue’s mom about rue relapsing when you find out he cheated on you with jules

warnings: drug use

genre: angst

a/n: trying to get some drafts written<3

Your leg shook anxiously as you sat on the couch beside of elliot and his hand slid down and he held your hand in his, circling his thumb over your hand.

“calm down” he whispered smiling at you.

how could you not be nervous?

rue had been your best friend since preschool, you’d gone through every phase together and you had been so close since day one.

you’d told her everything, about every kiss, every partner you’d had, every secret, everything. And she told you everything, all about Jules and her first times smoking weed, you’d been there with her for her dad, and she told you everything.

you heard the footsteps coming into the room.

you looked up at your best friend, the dark circles under her eyes and the anger in her face, when she clenched her fists and started screaming at Jules.

your vision started to blur and you felt the tears coming.

she wasn’t the girl you’d become friends with in preschool, that girl had been lost to addiction and the shell of her was looking back at you.

“you”

she said storming over to you.

“rue don’t” elliot said

“fuck you” she said slapping him and then she focused her attention back onto you.

“i pity you honestly” she laughed

“what?” you asked, what was she talking about.

“oh you didn’t know?”

you looked over to elliot and he looked down into his lap, Rue started chuckling dryly.

“he’s fucking Jules”

your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach as sadness overwhelmed you, you shook your head “no” it couldn’t be, could it?

all the times he’d been there for you, he’d comforted you during your worst times and it was all a lie. He was fucking your best friend and you had to find out from someone else.

you looked away from Rue and looked at him, his eyes were sympathetic “i’m sorry” he said, his voice soft.

you scoffed and tears started streaming down your face.

“fuck this” you said and you got up.

“Y/n” Elliot called out.

“yeah go cry to your fucking mommy” Rue called out.

“Rue that’s enough” her mom said.

you stormed outside and walked to your car, and you sat down in the drivers seat. You laughed out of the irony, even if she was doing it to hurt you Rue still told you everything.

#euphoria #euphoria x reader #euphoria season 2 #elliot x reader #elliot euphoria #dominic fike #jules x elliot #rue bennet x reader #rue bennet x you #rue bennett #zendaya #jules vaughn #hunter shafer #elliot euphoria x reader

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bumblesimagines · 2 years

Note

"can I wear your sweater? it feels like having you close to me"

Jules

"can I wear your sweater? it feels like having you close to me"

Jules watched from her spot on the bed, one knee brought up to her chest and a pout on her face. You could feel her stare burning into your back but you ignored it, continuing to pack your belongings.

"You're gonna visit, right?" She asked once more.

"Yes, Jules." You finally lifted your head and set the bag down beside her, shoving a shirt inside. "Plus, you'll have me all summer."

"I better." She muttered, reaching forward and clutching onto shirt. She tilted her head up and you took the hint, leaning down to leave a kiss on her lips.

Discussing a long distance relationship had been difficult, especially given it was Jules of all people. Her eyes and the way she looked whenever she was reminded you'd be going away for college only told you one thing; you'd be getting surprise visits from her.

Jules took a peek into the bag as you stepped away to look through your closet some more. She pulled out brown sweater and held it to her face before setting it on her lap.

"Can I wear your sweater? it feels like having you close to me."

"Will I ever get it back?"

"No."

"Fine." You glanced back at her, spotting the gleeful smile on her face as she held the sweater close to her chest. You knew it'd be tough staying away, but you'd make it work.

#x reader #x you #x y/n #x male reader #x female reader #x fem reader #jules vaughn #jules vaughn x reader #jules vaughn x y/n #jules vaughn x you #euphoria x y/n #euphoria x you #euphoria x reader #euphoria x male reader #euphoria x fem!reader

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kookiesnerotica · 9 months

Text

S A P P H I C C O R N E R

For the girls. Who like girls.

i see you. You see me. WE SEE EACH OTHER!

WELCOME to Slut zone #5. You are very much responsible for your pleasure.

M a d e l y n C l i n e.

S a r a h C a m e r o n.

M a d i s o n B a i l e y.

K i a r a C a r e r r a.

C l e o.

S d y n e y S w e e n e y.

C a s s i e H o w a r d.

A l e x a D e m i e.

M a d d i e P e r e z.

J u l e s v o u g h n.

H u n t e r S c h a f e r.

Z e n d a y a.

R u e B e n n e t t.

A l y c i a D e b n a m - C a r e y.

L e x a K o m T r i k r u.

O d e s s a A' z i o n.

Shamless Self Promo; If you want more from me, check out MY MASTERLIST.

Rikki

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infernalodie · 1 year

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𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐊𝐧𝐞𝐰 || 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐕𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐧

“𝘖𝘩, 𝘰𝘩, 𝘰𝘩, 𝘐, 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘛𝘰 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘐𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦“

Inspo: Bruno Mars - If I Knew

Pairing: Jules Vaughn x Hispanic!Male!reader

Summary: You might’ve never done the things you did if you knew it would’ve been you and Jules endgame...

Warnings: Angst

Words: 1626

When Jules first came to Highland, she never expected her first night to meet you and your friends. Parading up and down the block that she lived on singing incorrect lyrics. You, seemed to be the leader of the group, holding a case of beers that you clearly shouldn’t have had at your age. But still, you and your little band of misfits marched up and down her street. It would be a lie if Jules said she didn’t watch from her window in amusement. Well, at least until the flashing lights of a cop cruiser got your guys’ attention, causing the five of you to run from the police.

From that day on, Jules had some sort of inkling as to what to expect from her move and a new place to call her home. And when she officially met you, it was the same night she first met Nate Jacobs.

“You’re new, right?” A voice inquired from behind Jules, who was pouring herself a drink. When she swivelled around in surprise. She found the warm gaze of you, standing only a few inches taller than her, but your stature did nothing to intimidate her. If anything, it made her feel safe and the faintest tickling of butterflies in her stomach. But that might just be the goofy smile that danced on your lips.

“Jules Vaughn, a pleasure to meet you.“ She extended her hand towards you, to which you took it and shook it. Your hands were calloused, especially the tips of your fingers. Jules wondered if you did construction or something that would make your hands so rough to the touch. But you were attractive and also didn’t think that you would waste your time with a job that you couldn’t use your looks to capitalize on. “You may not know, but my first night moving here, you were parading up and down my street. Pretty loud.”

Although her words could be deciphered as frustration, you quickly picked up on the teasing tone her words were masked in. Making you laugh softly and lean against the kitchen counter with a sigh. Nodding your head with a smirk etched on your lips. A look Jules knew would make her frustrated with given time. “Gotta live life to the fullest, but I’m sorry chica if I disturbed your sleep.” Smiling down at the girl, you playfully nudged your shoulder against hers. “Y/n Y/L/N,” you greeted before squinting at the girl, pointing a questioning finger toward her. “You want something to drink? I can make a mean drink.”

The offer made Jules smile, nodding as she handed you her red solo cup. “You from the city, hermosa?” You inquired after mixing all the liquids into her drink and handing her the cup.

Before she answered, she took a daring sip. You watched in amusement, eyes flickering down to her lips that she smacked together to overexaggerate her critique of your critically acclaimed drink. And before you knew it, she downed it and sighed, holding the cup out with a smile. “Make me a few more of those and I’ll tell you everything, Guapo.” The use of Spanish made you grin widely as you did a mock bow, making Jules giggle in amusement.

“Whatever you say, Jules.”

Jules had learned the two of you grew up in the same city but on two completely different sides. Both of you lived on two different planets in two different galaxies and two different universes. From everything you had told her, there would’ve never been a chance she would’ve never run into you. Getting locked up into juvenile detention for fighting in school at a young age and trespassing on too many properties to count- Your words, not hers.

Essentially, you were the bad boy of Highland that somehow had fallen into her path. Offering nothing but a kind and comforting smile that made her heart melt. Your personality bright and your smile brighter. The aroma of cigarettes and cheap beer that was your signature fragrance brought calm to her mind every time you were around. If she caught the faintest scent of you, she felt your presence near. And it comforted her in some way.

Things were natural and chaotic for Jules in her first few months of moving to Highland. She’d gotten caught up with Nate Jacobs and his dad. Then you were always there, willing to be the shoulder she could lean on and be a helpful source to take her mind off her problems. Willing to drive her out to the dinner in town to eat or go rollerskating. In an act of kindness, you had introduced her to Rue and your friends who coincidentally were a band, of which you were part of. Taking her out on those parades on a random street before being chased by the police. Although she hated you always putting yourself in danger to do stupid shit, you always reassured her nonchalantly. Giving her that famous smirk of hers as you would casually reassure her that you would never get in trouble over that shit.

But things were good.

But you, you were hopelessly in love with this girl that couldn’t see the signs. Either too caught up in her own thoughts or focused on Rue, who was just as thrilled to have her attention. It wasn’t like you blamed Rue for stealing your bird, but you also knew you weren’t Jules’ keeper. So sadly, you eventually fell to the wayside. Having to sit on the sidelines and watch a love blossom before your eyes.

So, as any confused and frustrated guy would do, you hooked up with girls. Some of whom you knew didn’t deserve your time and attention, but you gave them anyway. Seeking to relieve your mind from the constant hold Jules had on it. Which only prompted Jules to appear far more, badgering you over your stupid decisions. You appreciated that she still cared, but it didn’t fulfill the love you held for her.

It’d always been like this for you at least. Once a kid who grew up in a big city with nothing but time and zero fear. Willing to put your time into people that you knew wouldn’t last. Have sex as much as you wanted with whoever wanted the same. And maybe it fucked you up now because this feeling was so new to you, but you knew what it was and knew what you wanted. Yet, it felt impossible to have the one person you actually pictured spending most of your life with.

“Do you like Lexi?” The question had been enough to throw you off, nearly tripping over your feet as you came out of the bathroom. Staring at Jules, who was sitting on your bed with her phone in hand. She wasn’t even giving you the mercy of holding your gaze and not making you twitch at the rather stupid question.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, walking over and sitting beside the blonde. Rubbing your thumb into your palm to relieve how hard you had been clenching your fists in the bathroom. Trying to find some form of confidence to ask Jules about what had been going on with Rue. This had been the first time in two weeks since she decided to visit you as she had been spending most of her time with the other girl. Leaving you on read and ignoring your phone calls. The once-tamed resentment you felt towards Rue had grown and had been gnawing at your heart. “Do you like Rue?”

That had been enough to make Jules take her eyes off her phone and snap up to you. The reaction made you purse your lips, nodding to yourself. Looking back down at your hands as you chuckled. How stupid of you. Of course, she would. First Rue took your happiness from her being a bitch all the time from her drug addiction, and now she took Jules. Not that you should be surprised either. Spent 2-years with her and helped her through the death of her father, and this is what you got back.

“You know, I actually thought…” Your lips parted, sighing as your jaw jutted to the side. “You may have liked me.”

Jules stared at you, surprised by the confession, lips parting as she tried to find the right words to respond. But the longer she was silent, the worst the feeling in your heart got. The repetitive ache that would never seize until you eventually recovered. But that wouldn’t be for a long, long time.

“I- I did, for a time-” You scoffed standing to your feet and biting your bottom lip. Jules stood up and stared at your back as she stumbled over her words. “But I-I don’t anymore- Not after I met Rue. You sleep around and I don’t know if I wanted to have a guy like that as my boyfriend. I’m sorry, Y/n.” Her phone began to ring, gaining her attention. But you didn’t have to check to know who it was. Turning around and smiling at her sadly with pursed lips.

“Better not keep her waiting,” you commented, sniffling and forcing a smile. “She’s very impatient.” She didn’t know what to say, so she gave you a fleeting glance before rushing out of your room and answering the phone call.

Leaving you a disgruntled and regretful boy, who had fallen for the wrong heart. Maybe in another universe, you may have been different. Maybe you weren’t a rambunctious and tireless boy. And maybe, you would’ve been Jules. But if you knew what could’ve been if you didn’t bring Rue into Jules’ life, perhaps one day Jules would’ve loved you.

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nebulablakemurphy · 2 years

Text

All For You (Pt. 4)

Summary: Elliot’s finally out of the hospital, but possibly not ready to get clean. Companion series to Because Of You & Before You

Warning: this is a mature series that includes mentions of drug use/overdose, mental illness, explicit language and mentions of sex.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Elliot wasn’t trying to overdose, especially not for Rue and Y/N to find passed out in a pool of his own vomit. If he’s being honest, he was just bored, maybe a little lonely.

He still sells music stems online and some people are really into that. A single musician, living on his own, Elliot has no problem finding hookups. Bonus points if they resemble Jules, Y/N or Rue. He was always a gentleman, made sure they enjoyed it and they got off, sometimes more than once. But no matter how hot they were, they never got a call back.

That’s the thing about love. Elliot hates love, objectively speaking. Until one of them show up, saying they missed him, asking how he’s been. ‘I missed you too and I’m good,’ become automated responses.

Technically he did miss them, in the fleeting moments he had his feet on planet earth. Technically he was good, because they’re there and none of the bad shit mattered anymore.

But eventually they would leave, he always knew that. Jules back to Manhattan, Y/N and Rue back to the little apartment they’re ready to move out of. They could have a bigger place, if they live together. But Elliot knew that was silly to even suggest. He’s a guest in their lives…and nothing more.

When Elliot was in high school, he decided that Y/N was the type of girl he’d like to spend the rest of his life with. To laugh at stupid jokes with and keep full of his babies. If it weren’t for Rue…

Who he’s had a crush on since he met her, on New Year’s Eve, snorting off a broken whirlpool washer. He’s worried about her just as long. Even though she’s clean and he isn’t.

Jules was always kinda unattainable. She didn’t do it to be mean. She’s just the type of person born to fly from place to place, Jules couldn’t be held down.

So it all got twisted into a loop, that repeats and repeats, with no chance of undoing itself; because no one is willing to change. Not even Elliot.

“Where do you want us to set up shop?” Rue asks.

Elliot’s still in the clothes they brought to the hospital, so he wouldn’t have to leave in a fucking gown with his ass out. “I already told you, I don’t need babysitters. I’m not suicidal.”

“Did anyone say you were?” Jules turns to him.

“It’s being heavily implied.” Elliot moves her suitcase to the corner of his living room.

“We’re just worried about you,” Jules tells him.

“Like you were so fucking worried when I texted you two weeks ago?”

Jules curls in on herself. “I had a huge project and I told you that.”

“You think I never have anything going on, Jules?” Elliot scoffs at her.

“Did we miss something?” Y/N whispers to Rue.

“I never fucking said that.” Jules throws her hands up in defeat.

“Yeah, we missed something.” Rue moves closer to her girlfriend.

“Listen, I’m trying to be nice.” Elliot puts a hand to his head. “But I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you crawling up my ass. If I want to stop using, I’ll stop on my terms. Not on your terms, because the reality is, you’re not here. None of you are ever fucking here.”

“Do you want us to be here?” Rue asks. “Last we checked, you wanted the space clear for pussypaloza.”

Elliot chuckles, “that’s an issue now?”

“It’s not an issue, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” Elliot snaps. “I am calm. You just don’t like what I’ve got to say.”

“I think you’re hangry.” Y/N pulls out her phone. “Let’s order some food, talk about this.”

“I had to o.d. for you to wanna talk about this?” He truly can’t believe his ears.

“We’re not talkers, k?” Rue takes one for the team. “You’re in hot pursuit of a crier, a liar and an emotionally constipated individual.”

“Hey!” Jules and Y/N protest, almost in unison. They know exactly which title is theirs.

“Sorry,” Rue holds up her hands, “but you get the point. We’ve been like this the whole time.”

“Fine.” Elliot nods, “I knew you were fucked up.”

———————————————————————

Something Rue and Elliot didn’t know about getting clean; something they’d never fucking admit to anyone…is that they never forgot the way drugs made them feel.

Elliot feels it with Jules. The high, the tension of holding your breath, right on the precipice, then finally soaring over the edge. He feels it when he kisses, especially when he cums.

Rue’s different, her gratification isn’t sexual. Not most times anyway. Just Y/N, anything with her. A never ending fountain of love and devotion. Rue knew that no matter what she did, Y/N was hers. And in that acceptance, Rue found stability. A safe place to land.

Allowing Elliot and Jules a permanent space in their lives was like putting together an ill fitting puzzle. Jiggling pieces together, wearing at the edges, until they sat flush. When they were ‘finished’ things were perfect.

So perfect, they decided they could do this together. Which turned out to be a terrible fucking idea. The puzzle wasn’t properly held together and somebody shook the table. Now everyone is all over the place.

Sawyer and Cameron are getting ready for school when Rue checks in via video call. They seem happy.

“Hi, Mama. We miss you.”

Sawyer let Elliot do her hair, she is very particular about hair. Cameron is more laid back, he likes to observe and strategize before he acts.

Y/N is glowing, despite the fact that she just got done puking when Rue called. Elliot misses Jules and Rue, he claims, but he’s kinda glowing too.

“You look happy, Rue.” Y/N tells her.

“Do I?” Rue let’s out a surprised laugh.

“Yeah.”

They’ve been together long enough that Rue doesn’t question if it’s true.

“I’m proud of you for doing this.”

“Stop,” Rue smiles, looking away.

“Seriously.” Y/N draws her attention back to the screen. “Everything you’ve done…you’re a huge inspiration to me, and so many people. I wish I could be there.”

So does Rue, she couldn’t have done half of this shit, or even wanted to, without Y/N.

“But Jules is gonna record it for me.”

“Jules is not recording this.”

“No, I am.” Jules pops her head out of the bathroom, to argue. “I already promised.”

“You guys are in cahoots now?” Rue shares her scowl between them.

“They’re always in cahoots, Rue.” Elliot moves across the frame, dashing toward half packed lunch boxes.

“Not against me,” Rue points out.

“Welcome to the club.” He replies, without much sympathy.

Y/N’s eyes flicker up to the clock at the corner of her phone. “Alright, we’ve gotta run. Kids dishes in the sink, say bye to Mama.”

“Bye, Mama.” Sawyer waves.

“Bye, Mama.” Cameron blows her a kiss.

“Bye, babies.” Rue misses them more than anything.

“Bye, Rue.” Elliot joins in.

“Goodbye, Elliot.” Rue salutes him.

“Bye, Elly.” Jules’ voice carries out from the ensuite.

“Text me!”

“I will! Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Jules.” Y/N calls back.

“I love you, bye.” Rue says to her wife, in parting.

“Bye, Rue. I love you so much.”

“Hang up!”

Rue finally does, bringing the phone up to her chest, close to her heart.

“Hey, what are you wearing?”

“I don’t know, Jules.” Rue blinks, rapidly. “Shirt, pants, sneakers?”

“I’m over dressed.”

Jules is always kinda over dressed. Not that she looks ridiculous or anything. More that no one could hold a candle to her.

Rue closes the space between them, pushing a bit of hair behind her ear. “You look amazing.” She kisses her forehead, “don’t change.”

Jules pulls back to look at Rue. “You don’t think it’s too much?”

“No, I really don’t.” Rue smiles.

———————————————————————

Y/N can feel Elliot staring a hole in the side of her head, as they pull away from the kid’s school. “What?”

“Can I ask you something?” Elliot drawls, tapping a finger against his coffee cup.

“Yeah.” Y/N flips on her turn signal.

“Are you doing this out of obligation?”

“What?”

“Do you think you owe me and Jules a baby?” He asks.

“Did you give us Sawyer and Cam out of obligation?” Y/N feels sick, like enough to throw up.

“No.” Out of love and ass backwards ideas maybe; but not obligation. “I shouldn’t have asked you that, I’m just trying to understand where you’re at right now.”

“Have you ever been responsible for someone’s happiness?”

“To some degree.”

“But like…” Y/N breaks off, “have you ever held an entire life in your hands? Knowing you could make someone’s dream come true or crush it, while you have little to no control over the outcome?”

“No.”

“Then you can’t really understand where I’m at right now.”

“Is that what this feels like?” Elliot whispers. If this is the issue, the actual issue, he doesn’t want to startle her away from it.

“If anything happens to your baby-”

“Do you think, for one second, that me or Jules would blame you for that?” Elliot rests a hand on her leg. I’m right here.

“No.” That’s why she doesn’t want to talk about it. Because it is stupid and in her head she knows that.

“But you would blame yourself.”

She nods.

“Fuck, baby.” He runs his free hand over his face.

“I feel bad about it.” Y/N’s voice breaks. “Don’t you think I feel bad?”

“There’s nothing to feel bad about. It’s not your fault, Y/N.” Elliot sighs. “Everything can not be your fault. The odds are astronomical. Think about the logistics, if nothing else. You love logistics.” Rationalizing gets her off.

“I do.”

“If a construction company removes a load bearing wall from a house and it collapses, do they blame the house?” The analogy could be better, but it will work.

“No.”

“Do they blame one person?”

“The project manager.” Y/N steals a glance at Elliot, from the corner of her eye.

Now he’s got her. “Did anyone appoint you project manager of this relationship?”

“No.” She huffs, in response.

“Then you just fucking work here like the rest of us, and we are all equally responsible.”

He isn’t wrong.

“Let’s fix the house together,” Elliot suggest. “Instead of building separate rooms and trying to force them together after.”

“But I feel like that’s our thing.” The corners of Y/N’s mouth twitch upward.

“Maybe we should find a better thing.”

Part 5

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