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#just scroll through his tags on my blog lol

fumiko-matsubara · 6 months

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I mean... my blog description is already kinda self-explanatory, isn't it? 😂

I've been looking for this template because I wanted to try it out, only to realize that I already had it bookmarked months ago when it was first tweeted lol

A mini collection of how I draw his face in five angles:

#and that's only just how I draw him specifically with his bangs down lmao #if y'all wanna see the absurd amount of connected headcanons I've done for this boy #just scroll through his tags on my blog lol #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assclass #chiba ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke chiba #my art #art #digital art #my illustration #art challenge #draw fanart of a character

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tyunni · 1 year

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NISHIMURA RIKI B☆YFRIEND HEADCANONS...

ㅤㅤㅤㅤenhypen masterlist | library | ni-ki bf hc part 1

a/n: man when will it be may over riki era... probably never. anyways pt 2 to my riki bf headcanons post 😭 p.s. i DID post this on a side blog a while ago to try out tags so if u saw that no u didnt lol

genre: fluff ☝️ warnings: not proofread, kissing, if you want me to add anything please let me know!

idrk how to start this off so we're just gonna get str8 into it yeah lets GO

he is so whipped for you it's actually concerning. everyone can tell he is absolutely head over heels for you. from the way his eyes sparkle when he looks at you to the way he can't shut up about you, it's just so obvious.

he adores you, honestly.

he can't help but smile when he sees you, always admiring you. doesn't matter what you're doing; be it you brushing your teeth, eating food, putting your shoes on, or sleeping. doesn't matter! he's watching you with hearts in his eyes and a grin spread across his face from ear to ear.

his heart swells whenever you hug and/or kiss him. he may not act like it, but he is so soft for you it's actually insane. he melts in your arms the second you wrap them around him. feels safe and content, closing his eyes as he buries his head in your shoulder.

physical affection is very very important to him, it makes him feel special. he enjoys it more than he likes to admit, to be honest!

he loves loves loves kisses!! you littering kisses all over his face? he's down. him littering kisses all over your face? he's down. a kiss on his cheek? absolutely! giving him a big phat smooch on the lips?? you just made him the happiest boy ever!!!!!

(more under the cut!)

if you cup his face in your hands and just enjoy the moment as you get lost in each other's eyes he will get all mushy and lovey dovey. it's moments like these that make him realize just how in love he is with you, how much he cherishes you, and how he wants to show you he appreciates you.

riki isn't really the best with words, it's a bit awkward for him to verbalize his feelings toward you... and also impossible as well, because he simply can not describe the overwhelming amount of love he has for you.

but whenever the time calls, he can list a thousand reasons as to why he fell in love with you. from your beauty to your personality, he notices things about you even you don't notice, and it never fails to make you smile (which is basically all that matters to him)

3AM dates with riki? 3AM dates with riki.

it's a must, honestly. whenever he can't sleep he almost always messages you. he doesn't like to bother you, but he can't help it! he's so bored and you're his s/o, who else would he spam at like 2 in the morning??

he's always amused when you answer him & complain about how you were about to go to sleep and how he disturbed you. but he knows you're lying by the way you're refusing to leave when he tells you he won't mind if you go to bed and that he can always just go back to scrolling through tiktok.

"oh you're sleepy? okay 👍 i'll just go back to tiktok then" "NO DONT GO IM NOT GOING TO SLEEP YET"

and when he offers to go snack hunting at a 24 hour convenience store, who are you to refuse? and even if you were to refuse... too bad he's literally at your door right now, open up y/n <3

sometimes he doesn't even message you beforehand, he just randomly shows up at your house and the next thing you know you're taking a walk while everyone else in your neighborhood is sound asleep.

tries his best to be super cliche romantic with you. says he does it only cuz he knows you want him to do it, when in reality a part of him has always wanted to recreate those overused cute scenes in romance movies.

he will never admit to it, but sometimes he purposefully sets your dates on the days he knows there will be rain. he checks the weather beforehand just to make sure it's a rainy day 😭

but why? you may ask...

so he can take off his warm jacket and drape it over your figure when he notices you shaking and shivering beside him. so he can pull out his umbrella - specifically the smallest umbrella he could find at the dorms so he has an excuse to pull your body against his side and protect you from the rain droplets that slowly fall onto the top of your head.

and most importantly, so he can walk you home, discard the umbrella once he reaches your doorstep, watch as the rain drops glide down from your head to your face. and then he leans in and gently wipes them away from your features as he smiles softly when he notices your breath hitch at the close proximity. his hands then find their way to your cheeks, thumbs wiping away more droplets as the rain gets heavier and heavier. and at this point neither of you care that your clothes are basically drenched. all that you can focus on is how he's so gently holding your face in his hands, how he's looking into your eyes with so much love and adoration, and how he is so close to you that you can admire all the pretty moles that are scattered across his face, thinking that it's impossible for him to get any closer. but when he tilts his head and somehow shortens the proximity even more you can't help but flutter your eyes shut as you feel his lips lightly graze over yours. but he doesn't kiss you. he simply smiles before completely pulling away, grabbing his umbrella and walking off.

Yeah HE'S ANNOYING 😑😑😑👎👎👎

and when u run inside your house pull out ur phone and proceed to spam him telling him he can't just do that & that if he pulls that shit on you ever again ure gonna break up w him...

yeah he just smirks 🧍‍♀️ bcuz he knows u dont mean it- OF COURSE U DON'T- he's got u wrapped around his finger, there's no way out, i fear...

but let's not pretend he's not wrapped around your finger... cuz he is.

if you suddenly call him to hang out or tell him you miss him he is basically running to your location!!

but not before pretending that he's too busy and complaining about how you're so "needy" and "obsessed" with him, but in a lighthearted manner obviously.

he would rather step on a bunch of spikey nails with his bare feet than upset you with his words. and if he feels that his words affected you in a bad way he will kiss you all over your face and reassure you that he didn't mean it like that

he's soft but just for you 🫰

well... maybe not just for you but he's definitely the most comfortable showing you his soft side 🫶 you're basically the only one he doesn't feel awkward sharing his lovey dovey mushy thoughts with

even though he's confident now, just like the first few months of your relationship, he still gets shy around you. he thinks it's embarrassing, but you think it's cute :)

for example, when he tries to call you new pet names that you two aren't usually used to.

the second the word sweetheart left his lips he immediately turned away from your figure, hid his face in his hands and cringed at himself for even contemplating calling you that. you had to practically beg him to turn around because he was refusing to look at you for a good 5 minutes 😭

"that was so bad, y/n. why did i say that?"

and then he whines about it to you so if you want him to shut up you have to hold his face and give him a quick kiss

one time you tried shutting him up by putting your hand over his mouth... but it backfired. he licked your palm 🧍‍♀️ so naturally, you used his shirt as a tissue and wiped your palm on him while complaining about how gross he was

yeah... a kiss it is.

speaking of kisses, he loves them

more specifically, he loves catching you off guard with them.

you two could be play fighting with pillows, watching a movie, bickering, cuddling, simply talking and suddenly his lips are on yours?

mostly he pulls this on you when you two are playing video games and he feels that there's a chance he might lose to you

he puts down his controller, gently grabs your chin, squishes your cheeks so your lips pout and gently puts his plush lips on yours.

inevitably, you close your eyes. biggest mistake you've ever made.

with one hand still squishing your cheeks and his lips still moving in sync with yours, he uses his other hand to pick up his controller and beats your ass in the game

when you hear the victory cheers coming from the TV you quickly open your eyes and gasp in shock at the sight of the screen.

you call him a dirty cheater, which is true...

but is it really cheating if he's kissing you?

"you cheated!! you were kissing me just to distract me, what the hell?!"

"it's not cheating if you don't get caught 😁"

"that doesn't even apply to this scena-"

boom! he kisses you again.

he's a shithead. but he's your shithead.

©tyunni please don't copy, translate or repost any of my work!

taglist: @geombyu @junityy @uygmoeb @sunghun @krewified @eternallyhyucks @pshjae @marknaeroni @feyregels @yyx2 @koishua @kac-chowsballs @echo-of-a-writer @w3bqrl @liz-riz @duolingofanaccount @goldenhypen @sungniverse @enhasimpeu @sieuneo @acciomylove @soobin-chois @anik-4 @yjwfav @ja4hyvn @ddeonubaby @deafeningballoonnacho @squiishymeow @odxrilove @iyeonjuni @nyaforniki @kittyeji @pinkyyyujin @addictedtothesummernights @love-4-keum @luveill @enhastolemyheart @kpop-kitkat @kageyama-i-want-tobiors (bold means i can’t mention you, if you want to be a part of my taglist fill this out!!)

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raytorosaurus · 2 years

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Sorry that this post is long but I would appreciate it if other white people read it and thought about it. I've been reading a lot of posts and the tags on them and I just want to make it very clear that this conversation isn't really about Ray getting 'attention' or his talent getting acknowledged. We should not be minimising this to “we need to acknowledge that Ray is an excellent guitar player” because everyone knows that, all you need is ears. True, it went largely unappreciated by fans at the height of mcr’s fame, but at least that's different now. What we're talking about now is about so much more than that - in fact, part of the problem is Ray getting reduced to nothing but the guy who shuts up and does the solos. We're talking about a pattern of behaviour that has been so deeply rooted in this fandom for so long that it's almost invisible to white people. It's a collective problem but it's perpetuated by individuals and needs to be addressed at an individual level first before it can begin to change.

I will acknowledge that, at least in my circles, things have started to change a little bit this tour in regards to people noticing him and discussing him beyond just his solos. But on the flipside that's only highlighted the larger issue, which boils down to how differently Ray is treated from the rest of the band. This is a consistent pattern. If he's not being ignored, he's behind separated out and set apart from the others - either being put on a weird pedestal or given suspiciously backhanded compliments.

Back in 2020 when I'd be lucky to see three posts about him a day on my dash I used to spend a lot of time scrolling through old inactive blogs to queue Ray pictures. Back in the pre-breakup days, if he wasn't being called "princess fro fro" he was being called ugly or he was the target of straight-up racial slurs. There was a weird narrative that he like, lowkey bullied Frank or took more credit than he deserved for mcr's guitar parts (which is painfully ridiculous and only proves that nobody paid attention to a single word Ray's ever said). Until very recently, the punchline of one of the main "jokes" (quotation marks because the word joke implies it was ever actually funny in the first place lol) in this fandom relied on Ray being at least casually homophobic. And these were blogs that posted Ray - I can only imagine how much worse the people who actively didn't like him would have been.

Nowadays, I post a lot of Ray content so I see a lot of tags from people outside my circle of mutuals. Let me tell you, there are Patterns. First of all, there's the classic "tags that completely ignore Ray to make the Ray post about Frank and/or Gerard instead." But more and more often what I'm seeing is if he's not being infantilised, he's being treated as some hyper-masculine, omni-competent, suave sex god or something - each of these things are equally reductive and dehumanising - and each of them are different manifestations of racist stereotypes and common fandom attitudes towards people of colour. Sure, Frank also gets weirdly infantilised a lot, but in a very different way - Frank is woobified in the way people often treat their fictional faves out of affection and horniness, whereas Ray is just reduced down to a personalityless nice guy - something that is also very common with fictional characters of colour. Then there are people who act like he's some kind of long-suffering untouchable genius who puts up with the little weirdos in his band because they worship his talent or something, as if he's not on equal footing with them as their peer and creative partner. And then you get the people characterising him as some kind of rough macho domineering dude because he's…tall? I guess? And plays guitar with confidence? Or is it just because he's brown.

I just..genuinely want you to sit down and think about a reason Ray might be singled out and separated from the rest of the band like this.

Is it because he's quiet in interviews? Mikey was always quieter. Also, Ray has done a lot more interviews than you think, they just haven't been circulated by fans as much. Also, he's literally the second-most featured band member in lotms - you know, the almost sole source for their fandom-driven personalities back in the day.

Is it because he's less feminine than the others? Both Mikey and Frank regularly present as more traditionally masculine in their fashion choices and mannerisms etc. The only thing “more masculine” about Ray than the others is...his body type I guess. There’s a whole conversation there about the intersection of gender and race and racist perceptions thereof.

Is it because he's private and keeps out of the public eye? So does Gerard.

Is it because people historically found him less attractive than the others? I shouldn't have to explain that that was the racism all along (yes, I know there's no accounting for taste, but Ray was regularly and actively mocked for his non-white features, and noughties beauty standards, especially in the alt music scene, were overwhelmingly white and racist. I regularly get tags to the effect of "when did Ray get so hot???" and honestly it's pretty telling that he's only widely acknowledged as attractive now that he's lost weight (whole other important discussion on fatphobia in this fandom here btw) and his hair has changed texture and beauty standards have shifted so certain racial features are fetishised rather than mocked.

Is it because he wasn't involved in one of the iconic bandom boylove duos? News flash, all "ships" are made up fan theories. Rpf and/or tinhatting is based on what fans notice and what rumours they perpetuate. Besides them kissing on stage a few times to make a point over 15 years ago, you know frerard lore because people talk about frerard lore. You know petekey lore because people talk about petekey lore. The truth is nobody cared enough to pay attention to Ray back then. (To be clear, this isn't me trying to tinhat anything about him, I'm just once again pointing out the obvious disparity in how Ray is treated compared to the others.)

I consistently see people acting baffled at how he's been behaving this tour - skipping or bouncing around the stage, eating his solos up, being physically affectionate with his bandmates. I can tell you he has literally always acted like that. Sure, this tour is special - he's certainly a lot more confident than he used to be and seems happier than ever, but really the biggest thing that's changed is now we get full footage of every show so it's literally impossible to overlook.

I also see people acting baffled when others point out the way Ray's been mistreated by fandom - being shocked that anyone would crop Ray out of band photos etc. I guarantee you that almost every single one of you has reblogged pictures where he's been actively cropped out, because some of the most iconic Frank-and-Gerard pictures that constantly get passed around on here are just that. "But how would we know" - sure, it's not your fault, but it's a small example of the way the more blatant Ray erasure from the past gets passed down to new fans and perpetuated by them unknowingly in turn. Cropping him out of pictures is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how his talent and personality and significance to the emotional heart of the band has been overlooked. I can't tell you how many iconic well-known quotes from interviews or paragraphs from Not the Life it Seems directly precede facts about/quotes from Ray that nobody seems to have heard.

So again, this is not really a popularity thing - it's hard to measure but I'd say in the past few months Ray's overtaken Mikey in terms of mass popularity, at least on tumblr. You don't need to performatively post once a day about how Ray Toro Is God or how much you want him to rail you or how much you want him to rail your white fave because "he's the only one who can top" (you Realise how this sounds right?). I'm just asking you to confront your internalised biases and the external biases ingrained in the culture and history of this fandom, and start treating Ray the same way you treat the rest of the guys. He's not an untouchable god and he's not a sunshine cupcake, he's just Some Guy who's really fucking good at guitar. He's a proud stay at home dad, he's cringe as fuck, he loves to cook, he listens to podcasts about fucking Apple products for fun, he writes (very) shitty poetry, he takes his sons to women's rights marches, he invests in bitcoin, he cries when his mom sends him postcards, he drives a douchey car, he loves children's cartoons, he's a corny liberal just like the others, he loves his friends wholly and openly. Just…please acknowledge the history of racism in this fandom, think about how you as an individual might knowingly or unknowingly perpetuate it, and try to do better. And please just treat him like a human.

#at least we're HAVING this conversation it's so so much worse on twitter #anyway. i've discussed and complained about a lot of this stuff on discord and that's my bad for not talking about it more publicly #like. i don't want to come off as just bitter about my fave or something because it's a much deeper problem that #but that just means i need to be very clear abt my point #hopefully you give this post the time of day i know it's long but i do think it's important #ray toro #racism #ref #**#gonna pin this for a bit too

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jasntodds · 3 months

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Petrichor [17]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 12,212

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, little bit of hurt/comfort, blood, gunshot, canon violence, mention of Jason pushing a serial rapist from a building

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I can't believe we're almost done with season 3 and then we can move onto season 4 (I have a plan) lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You're still sitting on Jason's bed, eating a few of the granola bars he gave you and drinking water to gather the energy to make your way back to the manor. And for just this hour, it's peaceful. You're scrolling on your phone as it charges, just scrolling through Instagram and catching up on some things you've missed while also quickly scrolling away from whatever chaos about Gotham someone is posting. It's peaceful for once even when you know it won't be soon. It is nice. For right now.

But, then your phone starts vibrating before your scrolling is interrupted with a video taking up your entire screen. The screen is black for a few seconds before the Batman symbol appears on your screen as Crane's voice starts talking.

"Gotham City used to have a protector, a guardian angel." Crane's voice says as it switches to a red Titans symbol.

That's not good.

"But Batman abandoned Gotham and left Nightwing and his friends in his place." A screen showing every Titan, including Sam, shows up on the screen with "Titans wanted" at the bottom of the screen. Then it switches to a clip of Nightwing fighting. "And what has Nightwing done?" Crane asks as texts calling Nightwing a thief, liar, and a conman flash across the clip. "He's robbing you. Poisoning the very water you drink," The clip changes to one of Gar as a tiger, attacking someone. "The water you give your children. Nightwing is a criminal." The clip changes to one of Nightwing and Starfire blowing up one of the drum barrels that poisoned the water. "Protected by Gotham City Police. Only you can stop him. There will be a $50,000 reward paid to the person who brings him in. Dead or alive." The clip changes again to a clip of Gar changing into a tiger. "But take heart Gotham, a new hero will rise and you will know his name." The clip changes to Jason's Red Hood symbol with a picture of the helmet on top. "Red Hood."

"Oh fuck." You groan.

None of you can really catch a break for longer than five minutes. And you find yourself even more irritated that Crane had the audacity to think Jason would just go back to him after almost killing you. Crane really thinks you don't mean anything to each other and you swear that's his downfall, underestimating what you mean to each other. Because Crane doesn't know Jason isn't going to be on his side anymore. Though this video seems like it's going to complicate things.

It's been bad enough with Jason wanting Dick dead the last few weeks but now the entire city of Gotham is going to want him dead. Gothamites already aren't thrilled with the Titans and this going to push them over the edge. They're already upset Batman abandoned them after Robin was killed. It seems like the city didn't mean too much to Batman if he fucks off the second Robin is killed. Gotham has been absconded and Crane is going to use their distrust and distaste over the situation against the Titans.

You let out an annoyed huff before ripping your phone from the charger and grabbing another granola bar for the road. You have to get back to the manor before every citizen in Gotham decides to become a bounty hunter. You don't have your suit but you're thinking it might be safer to get the hell out of the city sooner rather than later.

When you get to the manor, it's empty. The manor has always had a way of seeming just a little too quiet. It's a big space with only a handful of people living in the halls at any given time. It didn't bother you much before, because Jason's voice tended to bounce off the walls, etch itself into the plaster. And with so many Titans around, it filled a bit of the silent void but today, as you walk in, it's quiet. The hairs on the back of your neck start to stand on end because, from your experience, quiet in a place that's not usually quiet, is bad. You grab a knife from your belt as you make your way, quietly into the Batcave.

With every step, you try to figure out why you're being so paranoid about this. It's the Batcave. No one outside of the Titans or Bruce would even be down here and the Titans are likely out trying to sort out the mess Crane just created for them. But, something in you grips your knife tighter as if it's some sort of sick reflex to always dread for the worst. Maybe that's growing to be a bit exhausting, too.

Your worry washes away as you enter the main area of the cave and see Dick standing in front of the Batcomputer with his arms crossed, his eyes glued to the monitor. You pocket your knife as you continue to walk closer to him, gaining his attention. A sense of relief pools at the bit of Dick's stomach to see you're alive and walking. It wasn't just Gar that was worried about what happened to you.

"Where the hell were you?" Dick questions, not skipping a beat.

"Walking." You shake your head, looking at the screens to see the other Titans fighting what seems to be civilians. "Given the broadcast Crane put out, do you really think it's such a good idea to have them fighting civilians?" You look up at Dick, a look of worry and sorrow washing over your tired features.

Dick gives you a harsh glare that softens the second his eyes meet yours. He shakes his head before looking back at the Batcomputer. You watch Kory fight someone and watch their body twist into positions it should not. The man gets up, foaming viciously from the mouth like a bad case of rabies.

"Kory." Dick warns.

"What the fuck did I miss?" You question as you scrunch your nose in disgust.

It has to be the water because the more you watch, it's as if this person is bending like a zombie from a movie or something. He won't stay down and he looks rabid but his bones are broken and it's as if he doesn't even notice. It almost reminds you of the Rage Virus from 28 Days Later, just without the blood.

Kory takes another hit to the man and this time he goes and stays down.

"A lot." Dick mutters. "Maybe it wasn't a good idea, me staying here."

"No, you got a fifty thousand dollar bounty on your head. It'd only make things worse." Kory says.

"I got another one." Gar says as a man with an axe starts to walk towards him and fight. "Oh, come on, Pal." Gar groans before he starts fighting this guy until he goes down.

"Looks like the worst of it is over." Dick says, not seeing any other civilians that look to be affected.

"Hold that thought." Kory says as more innocent civilians walk over but they all keep their distance from the Titans.

"Please, don't hurt us." A civilian yells.

"Shit." Dick mutters.

On the one hand, you're a little offended these people saw one video and immediately switched sides. But, on the other, Batman abandoned them and ever since Nightwing and the Titans showed up, Gotham has been more of a shitshow than usual. To some extent, you can kind of see why they're upset and distrusting of the Titans. It's also Crane who can manipulate most people. But you want to know where their sense of loyalty is. So many people just throw their loyalty to the side when one thing goes wrong. You think it's actually pretty sad.

"Everything's alright." Kory assures them.

"You're Titans, Nightwing's gang."

"No, we're not much of a gang, really. More like roommates." Gar says back, trying to make light of the situation the best he can.

"Just get the fuck out of here and leave us alone." Another civilian says.

"We're here to help." Conner says. "That video you saw, it's all lies."

"They're the reason the water's poisoned." A civilian yells.

"Kory, get em out of there." Dick states.

"He wants us to just leave?" Conner asks.

"I vote stay. Give them a good reminder of which side we're on." Blackfire says.

"If you stay, it'll only get worse." Dick says. "Get out. Now."

The Titans do as directed, leaving the people to themselves. You look up to Dick who just looks frustrated. It must be hard to make a call like that when he's been raised for years to always help. The people have always wanted his help. Now, they don't want anything to do with him or the Titans. The Titans became some sort of collateral damage in it. It can't be easy and you feel for him.

"So..." You clear your throat, breaking the silence. "You were right. He did plan to poison people but...he just outed that? And the GCPD also put out a warning anyway? So, most of the city isn't infected."

"Luckily. We just have bounties on our heads while we're dealing with this." Dick lets out a scoff. "Do you want to explain what the hell happened last night?" Dick looks back at you with the raise of his brows, a look you're kind of tired of receiving. It's always the look of disappointment that makes you feel guilty.

"Well...I just...I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna attack Jason so I went. And then, uh, I ran into Tim who was following Jason." You explain, earning a look screaming 'told you so' from Dick. "Crane was there first though, picked up a gun, and then he shot us." You look to the floor, your heart still feeling like it's filled with lead at the thought of Tim lying on the ground. "And I told Jason to run when he showed up because I knew you'd blame him because you always do. Took some convincing but he listened and I said I'd talk to you. It was all Crane. Not Jason." You nod your head once. "Then...I just-just couldn't do so I left and walked around. I ended up at Jason's a couple hours ago."

Dick nods his head with understanding. As much as he would appreciate you listening to him every once in awhile, he's starting to accept that you're going to do what's best for you and Jason regardless on what he says. Some part of him might find some part of that at least admirable. At least someone here has some loyalty, even if it ends up hurting the Titans. Most of him is still annoyed though and really wants you to understand that what he does and says is for everyone's best interest. Jason included most of the time. But, he is glad you're okay.

"So Crane shot the both of you because you were there?" Dick asks for clarity.

"Basically. I think he really just wants me dead but Tim was there. Which, uh...h-how is-is he?" You ask, dodging Dick's face.

"I don't know." Dick answers honestly. "He had a pulse when the ambulance took him."

"Cool." You nod softly, knowing you'll need to find your way to the hospital or Excellent Gotham later to find out how he is. "So, um...Jason's still on our side, by the way."

"Are you sure?"

You nod. "Yeah, Crane shot me and tried to kill me." You offer a wide smile. "He's a dead man walking now." You offer a chuckle. "So, he's working with Crane now to try and find out what his next step is. Poisoning the water system can't be his only plan, especially with that video. Jason wasn't gone long enough to have shit to do with it so he's got something else planned and Jason's going to try and get it out of him by pretending to be on his side."

Dick pauses, squinting his eyes at you before he looks back to the monitor. He doesn't like it because he's not sure they can trust Jason. You can all you want. You haven't been Jason's target the last two weeks. But, if this works, at least they have someone on the inside.

"What makes you think Crane will believe Jason is still with him?" Dick asks. "If you've been someone Crane has wanted dead and Jason refused, why would that suddenly change?"

"Because Crane is an arrogant ass." You quip right back. "He already had that video ready to go. He knew Jason would come back to him regardless. Though, I think he might have thought I'd die and I didn't. But, with the video up, I think Crane thinks he still has Jason. Also, Jason is more than willing to convince him just to tear him down later. Revenge is great motivation." You nod your head with confidence.

"Right." Dick nods his head, looking a bit displeased with your last words. "Alright, fine." Dick agrees knowing having Jason not trying to kill them is a lot better than nothing. "Where does that leave you then? I need to know where you plan to stand with everything that's happening."

"Since Crane grouped me with you guys, I'm with you and yes, I will listen." You roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I've heard that before." Dick snarks back.

"Yeah." You laugh softly. "Well, I'm with you guys. Gotta be anyway. Gotta make Crane think me and Jason are on opposite sides." You shrug your good shoulder.

Dick nods softly. "Alright." He clears his throat. "You're gonna stick with Gar this time."

"Stick with Gar." You echo.

"Good." Dick nods his head, grabbing his jacket from the chair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." You nod your head quickly. "Uh...Jason helped. He, uh, he got the bullet out and everything so I'm good." You offer him a thumbs-up with a closed-mouth smile.

"Okay, good. I'm glad you're okay." Dick nods once. "I'm going to meet with Babs, the Titans are on their way back. Stay here until they get back and fill them in."

"Will do, Dickolas." You nod your head once, sucking in a breath before Dick shakes his head and heads out of the Batcave.

When the Titans get back, you fill them in just as Dick asked you to. They aren't too happy about being pulled out from the streets but they also understand Dick's point of view of the situation. Everyone just hopes his meeting with Babs is to think of some sort of plan to get the city back. So, while you all wait for Dick to get back and tell you the next move, Gar shows you some of the things he's found about the Lazarus Pit including Bruce's notes about Ra's al Ghul. It doesn't say where the Pit is. It does say there are more but Bruce had sealed most of them off. That's all Gar really got so the two of you dive in to find out if you can find out how Ra's made it and what else it could be used for. It doesn't sit right with either of you that Jason was brought back to life using the Pit but no one even knows where it is or how it works or how it was created. So, you search as you wait.

When Dick comes back, he gathers everyone in the living room for a meeting. He stands in front of the main living area while everyone is scattered around, standing and waiting for what he has to say. Dick then explains that him and Babs think it's in everyone's best interest if the Titans turn themselves in. The room falls deadly silent with his words, everyone mostly looking at each other before looking back to Dick. According to Dick, it's for the best and it'll be just a show.

"So, we turn ourselves in and then what?" Gar asks.

"And then we post bail." Dick says. "Continue doing our work but in a less public way. Work in the shadows. Take the city back night by night. It's not gonna be easy and it's not gonna be fast but we can do it. If you have a better idea, please now's the time." Dick gestures a hand to the room before crossing his arms.

"They hate us." Gar says softly, voice etched in hints of defeat.

"They've been manipulated into hating us by Crane." Kory corrects.

"Y/n, Conner, Blackfire, what do you think?" Dick asks.

"It was brutal out there. I don't want to be looked at like that again." Conner says, his voice almost matching Gar's.

"Well, surrender isn't my thing. But I am used to people looking at me like I'm a monster so whatever you all decide on, I'm in." Blackfire states.

You hang your head and you think it's a horrible idea. You trust Babs, absolutely but there are parts of the GCPD that have been corrupt long before and long before her dad and long before Barnes. It doesn't matter how good someone's intentions are in the GCPD because there are always others within the PD who don't care about the greater good or what's good for even themselves. If anyone should know that, it should be the former detective. Does Dick really think him and Babs can just protect all of you? If people in the GCPD were corrupt before, they're going to be corrupt now. Crane got the entire city to hate all of you with one video, how do you all know Crane doesn't have eyes in the department?

"I think it's a bad idea." You say quietly.

"You weren't out there." Conner states.

"No, I know." You nod your head. "And I don't care if people look at me like that. They look anyway." You say softly, tugging your sleeve over your hands. "I just...we trust Babs but does Babs trust every single person in the department?" You look back at Dick.

"We won't be dealing with everyone. It'll be a select few to put on a show, make it seem legit." Dick explains. "You're just coming to our side. It's up to you if you want to go through with this."

You look to Gar and maybe it's against your better judgment but they are your friends, your family. You've done everything to protect Jason and it seems like that might be fixing itself now. Which means you need to fix your own relations with the Titans. And that, for you, means following Dick even if you think it's a bad idea. Plus, you really need to sell you being with the Titans, at least for Jason's own safety against Crane. You don't want him getting wind of Jason not actually being on his side.

"No, I'll do it." You nod your head, earning a quick look from Gar, surprised you agreed. "You just have to be sure this is going to be safe. I trust Babs. I don't trust any other person in that entire department."

"Why not?" Conner asks.

You look to Conner and you don't want to burst his bubble into trusting this plan. You will happily pop the bubble of police for him later. "Just don't." You keep it short.

"It'll be safe." Dick assures you.

"Alright then." You agree.

"Kory?" Dick asks.

"We've played it by the book so far and this is where it's led us. So, maybe you're right. Maybe we try a new way. I'm in." Kory says.

"Alright then, let's suit up." Dick states. "We go in together. As a team. As a family."

While Dick was busy talking with the Titans about turning yourselves in, Jason is the one who started to panic with pure rage. After Jason's managed to convince Crane that they're still good and Jason agrees with him, Crane got word from one of his moles in the department. The commissioner is setting up for the Titans to be "arrested" and then let you all post bail. The commissioner is in on it but Crane was prepared for that. The commissioner has always had a hand in helping Batman and company. So, when Crane gets word, he sends Jason with a bag full of money to pay this mole off with several of the other cops who ride with him to take in the Titans. Override the commissioner. Bring the Titans to Crane.

If Crane gets the Titans, with everything in the Batcave, that's where Jason's worry comes in. The Titans still stand a good chance but if Crane gets all of these guys to go with him and given how unlucky the Titans have been lately, Jason is growing more and more concerned. If Crane has the Titans, the city goes to Hell. It will be destroyed. Jason doesn't know what else Caane is planning but he does know whatever it is, it's not for the greater good of the city. So, he does what Crane asks him, hoping he'll be able to call the Titans to call it off. Maybe Dick will say the others didn't want any part of it. Or maybe you will back out of it if you even agreed to it in the first place and then you and Jason can figure something out. So, once the deal is done and the plan is set into motion, Jason calls you.

But, as his own luck would have it, you don't answer. It rings and rings and then just goes to voicemail. His best guess? Dick has already set the plan into motion with all of you and you're preparing to turn yourselves in. You're going to side with Dick to make this whole thing believable even though Jason figures you're against this whole plan. You're too smart to fall for something like this. You'll go overprepared but you'll be the only one. So, Jason keeps calling, desperate to warn you and he tries Dick but that goes to voicemail, too. He tries Gar and nothing. None of you are answering your phones which leaves him two choices.

Keep trying until one of you picks up and hope for the best. Or, he can go to GCPD himself to try and warn you -- or help if he's too late.

Once all of you are suited up and ready to go, Dick goes over the plan one more time just for extra clarity to make sure everyone is on the same page. All of you are going to pile into some SUVs, ride over, walk in, and then Babs will take it from there having you all be fake processed and the bail will be fake. Then, all of you get to go right back to the manor. In and out. It seems simple but no part of this has been simple. But, none of you argue. All of you nod along and once it's time, you pile into the SUVs just as Dick said.

You hop into the SUV with Gar, Conner, Blackfire, and Krypto while Kory and Dick take the other SUV. Krypto sits in between you and Gar in the back while Conner drives and Blackfire takes passenger. You find yourself watching the city pass by on the drive, your stomach twisting into knots. The last time you were arrested, you ended up with Jerry. This whole thing just seems like such a bad idea. And if it is and you have to fight back, that's even worse. That's just a bigger target on your backs if you can get out of there in one piece. There just had to be another way to win the city back. The city wasn't always on Batman's side.

"On Tamaran, it is called The Pit." Blackfire starts, pulling you from your thoughts. "It's dark. So dark, you cannot even see your hand." She explains, making you and Gar both look to your hands and then at each other.

Conner picks up her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. "It isn't like that here." Conner says. "Right?" Conner looks in the rearview mirror for reassurance from Gar and you.

"Right." Gar starts. "I-it's totally not like that. It's gonna be fine." Gar offers a smile but you swear it's incredibly unconvincing. "Dick and Barabara have a plan. We're just going to go in and out. This is really just all for show." Gar explains, looking to you for reassurance. And now you just think he's trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, it's really not like that." You add in. It isn't like The Pit. It's not great and it sucks. There is a lot of unfairness and cruelty but it's not The Pit. And you think telling Blackfire everything about the corruption among the GCPD, probably won't help the situation. "I've been for real arrested once. It's not like The Pit." You explain, omitting every other detail.

"We'll be together the whole time. I've got you." Conner assures Blackfire with a calm but firm tone. "I promise." He glances over to her with a soft smile as you catch him squeeze her hand.

You smile softly because for all anyone knows, this isn't going to work out. Nothing has gone to plan but Conner still offers reassurance anyway and it's kind of sweet to watch. Gar offers a chuckle, catching the smile on your lips. It earns him a light shove with the roll of your eyes. It's just nice seeing the two of them unbothered by everything that's happening. It's maybe even a little cathartic in a weird way.

Within a few more minutes, both SUVs pull up to the back of the GCPD. There are snipers on the roof and several GCPD officers standing guard with full swat gear outside of the doors. This is supposed to be for show but you're really not buying it. This is a lot of people for something that's supposed to be fake.

Everyone starts to get out of their vehicles, you meeting up with Gar in the front of the SUV.

"You okay?" Gar whispers. "I mean, we trust Barbara." Gar nods his head, his brows raised as if looking for some form of reassurance from you. This isn't sitting right with him either.

"Yeah." You shake your head, eyeing one of the snipers on top of the roof. There are ten total and you start to think of an exit strategy to avoid them or take them out on your way if it comes to it. "If shit goes south, get out of here immediately. I'll be right behind you and stay close to the building until you reach the back alley. Less light and I didn't see snipers over there." You whisper back, pulling your attention right back to Gar.

Gar gulps, looking up at the roof where the guns are pointed right at you. "That wasn't reassuring." Gar almost whines as he looks back to you.

"Wasn't supposed to be." You shake your head, as you chew the inside of your cheek before you start walking. Gar follows right behind you until he's walking side-by-side.

The two of you fall in line right behind Kory and Dick while Conner, Blackfire, and Krypto follow Gar and you. As you all make your way to the entrance, every single person with a gun, trains their weapons on all of you. The Titans are the targets and these people are just waiting for the signal to start shooting. That's what it feels like. Being a vigilante is illegal, technically, but this is...a lot.

"This seems excessive." Kory states as all of you enter the building, passing by even more men with guns and swat gear.

"Barbara cleared it with me." Dick states. "It's all for show. They need to stand their ground." Dick states and you roll your eyes. Basically, they need to stroke cops' egos. What else is new?

"This is just optics, right?" Gar asks Dick, the growing pit in his stomach is starting to bubble. Gar doesn't normally second guess Dick's plans but tonight, he is. This seems wrong.

"Optics." Dick confirms calmly.

The Titans stand on the main level, looking up to the second floor where Babs and one of her right hands is standing beside her looking over the railing. There are cops on all sides of you and above you, covered in their swat gear with shields. Dick can say it's optics all he wants but you're getting a really bad feeling about this one. And then Blackfire bumps into you, making you and Gar turn around. One of the cops, used his shield to bump her and Conner used his superspeed to immediately be at Blackfire's side.

"Back off." Conner threatens, standing toe-to-toe with the cop that shoved her.

This is bad.

This is about to be really, really bad.

You look around as the cops start to slowly close in on all of you. This is not good. If this is optics and a show, they've done it. The show has been shown and it's time to get the hell out of here and finish the plan. There is no reason for them to be approaching the Titans. Not if they're on Barbara's side.

Dick sticks out of his hand, easing them away but it's not working. They're not going to listen to him. They just keep closing in with their shields and weapons pointed right at all of you. The Titans might not be here for a fight, but very clearly, the GCPD definitely is.

"Easy. We're not here for a fight." Dick states, keeping his voice calm but stern as to not piss anyone off.

"Move in." One of the men up top states, demanding the entire room.

Everything falls into slow motion as you look up to him, the other Titans and Barbara doing the same. It's as if everything starts to crumble at your feet. You are severely outnumbered and outgunned. This was a bad idea and you knew it was. It shouldn't have been but no one can trust people outside Barbara. That's how it is and now you're all trapped in this mess.

The cops start to close in, shoving all of the Titans. They try to shove you into smaller sections in order to separate you but you stand in between Gar and Dick as your hands form into fists. Your eyes scan the room quickly and there are fewer men up top. You could get up there and escape pretty easily with the grappling hook.

"Stand down!" Barbara yells but they aren't listening. They don't work for her anymore.

"There." You whisper to Gar, looking up to the second floor. "When you get the chance, get up there."

"What?" Gar questions quickly.

"They'll be too distracted by what's happening on the floor. You can get up there easily as a tiger and I can follow you." You nod your head once at him, reaching for a knife from your utility belt as you prepare for your own opening the second things start to turn violent.

This isn't going to be peaceful. Gar sees the knife in your hand, your hand gripping it tightly and he wonders when you became so prepared for everything to go south. He wonders if it's just trauma build-up like a clogged artery preparing for a heart attack or if this is a Bruce thing or maybe even a Jason thing. You never came here with any form of optimism.

Conner holds some of them off while others start to crowd Gar and you. Dick is entirely covered in cops before he shoves them off of him but then a gunshot rings out through the GCPD, Conner stopping the bullet with his hand. You, Gar, and Kory look over just in time to see the cop fire a second bullet and this time, it hits Blackfire.

"No!" Kory yells.

And that's when all hell breaks loose. Conner starts attacking the cop that shot Blackfire while the other cops jump in to attack the rest of you. Three go for you but you're quicker than they are, already having your free hand glow at your side. They're covered in protective gear and with the shield, you know you're not going to make any good shots with a knife. Desperate times, desperate measures. So, you pocket the knife and your other hand glows before you shoot acid at one of the men and the shield starts to melt. The other men keep coming closer, you punching and kicking them before you touch them with your hands, the acid melting right through their uniforms as they let out blood-curdling screams. The fabric and plastic becomes burned into their skin, sending them to the ground in agonizing pain.

Once those men are down, you jump in to help Gar so he can transform. You distract them and fight them until Gar jumps from behind you and then in front of you, fully turned into a green tiger. You can feel the bullet wound slowing you down. It's aching and throbbing, taking more of your energy you could really use right about now. And you swear you can feel blood leaking from the wound and down your arm as you land a right hook to one of the cops. That's when you hear that same guy above you, telling his men to shoot Gar.

"You gotta get out of here." You urge, shooting a hand full of acid at another man and melting his shield.

But, it's too late, as Gar defends himself, a tranquilizer is shot right out at him and he lets out a growl in response. This is just like the tower. Outnumbered. Outgunned. Even with the other Titans, you don't stand a chance. You can hear the other Titans fighting, getting a glimpse of the fire coming from Kory and Dick and Conner fighting hard. All of you need to get out of here.

"Go!" You point to the top, right where the man is. "Go, I'll be right behind you." You hold off the other men, giving Gar time to jump to the second level and head towards the exit.

You follow him, shooting your grappling hook to the top. The man pulls out his gun just as you reach him. With your feet planted on the floor, you put your hands up, the throbbing the front of your head echoing like a beating drum. He cowered when Gar jumped up here. You are fully confident even with a bum shoulder you could wrestle that gun from him with ease.

"Put the gun down!" You hear Barbara yell and that's when his eyes dart to her for just a second, giving you the perfect opportunity.

You lunge forward, grabbing the gun and then his wrist, twisting his arm. You squeeze and turn, just as Jason had taught you in several of your training sessions and then he drops the gun. You grab it before he even has a chance and you turn the gun on him.

One pull of the trigger and he's dead. That's all it would take. And you're ready to do it. All of the fighting is happening below you and yeah, maybe this guy is just under Crane's shit. But, you're really sick of it. He's not high. He's not drugged. He didn't have to join Crane but he did and he just got Gar shot. It feels like minutes as you almost debate shooting him at point-blank range but it's been five seconds. Five seconds for Barbara to realize you might not back down. Five seconds for the shooter behind you to aim his own gun at your back, kickstarting the throbbing in the back of your head.

"Bluejay!" Barbara yells and you grit your teeth.

Fine.

You spin around, aiming the gun at the shooter's leg and shoot just once. It sends him to the ground and then you take off, not leaving the gun behind. You're real sick of people hurting the people you care about. He was going to shoot you on your way out anyway. Do or die. Kill or be killed.

You find Gar outside, limping as the tranquilizer is starting to take effect. He's not going to make it far and Sam needs to find somewhere for him to go. There has to be somewhere near here. And that's when she realizes...Gar isn't shot. Besides the tranquilizer. Sam looks up, not seeing a single sniper or cop on the roof and then she looks around the parking lot, not seeing anyone here either.

What the fuck?

That's weird given how many were here when the Titans arrived. That also cannot possibly be good. You roll your eyes and decide you both just need to get out of here and you'll find somewhere on the way. There's a tunnel entrance not far and you're pretty sure you and Gar can hide there until you think of a better place.

"Follow me, we're gonna go to the tunnels." You whisper to him as the two of you head for the alley that leads out to a side street.

The two of you run off to the alley, Gar slower than usual and your cape flowing behind you. Your shoulder is aching and you can feel the adrenaline wanting to crash. You're certain now that it's bleeding and your hand is shaking. Your entire arm is shaking. Gar isn't the only one who needs to take a breather.

The two of you exit through the alley and make your way on a sidewalk. You know if you take the sidewalk down to the intersection, you can cross over and head into an alley on that side of the street. The tunnel entrance will only be a block away and you'll be on the right side of the street.

But just as you and Gar go to walk past an alley right before the intersection, your head throbs from the side right before someone grabs your arm, yanking you into the alley. You fight back until the person spins you around and then you stop as relief comes over you.

"It's me. It's fine." Jason urges through the helmet just as Gar walks into the alley having seen you get grabbed by Jason.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You spit back.

"You guys have to get the fuck off the streets. They'll be looking for you. Come with me." Jason urges you and Gar, trying to walk past but you and Gar block him.

"Answer me, Jason." Your eyes are narrowed at him and without seeing your mouth, Jason knows you're gritting your teeth behind the mask.

"I'll explain but let me get you guys somewhere safe first. You think those snipers just went on a fucking coffee run?" Jason quips back making you look to the Gar. Gar shakes his head and you let out a breath.

"You?" You ask, your eyes narrowing. How the fuck did he know to be there?

Jason nods. "Let's go before they show up." Jason's voice is stern and almost forceful as he walks past them.

Jason leads the two of you across the street and down a different alley. You exclusively take alleys and you're just relieved they clearly used a tranquilizer that wasn't as potent as the one CADMUS used. Gar is still slowing down but he's at least awake. But, you're still stuck trying to figure out how Jason knew and why he didn't do anything about it. You were all just attacked and you all could have been killed. He knew though. Pretending to be with Crane doesn't mean screwing the Titans over. You know there is probably an explanation but right now, you're pissed off and scared and in pain.

You reach an abandoned building and Jason opens the door in the back for the three of you. The three of you make your way upstairs and into a room with boarded-up windows. This place doesn't have any type of belongings but you're willing to bet Jason is hoarding the place. Jason would probably never not have a place to go after everything. Gar practically collapses on the floor before he starts to transform back into himself.

"Sleep it off. I'll wait until things calm down and I'll go looking for Dick and Kory, okay?" You crouch down to Gar as you put a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Gar gets out with a labored breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Better at this now." You offer a nod and if Gar weren't so exhausted from the tranquilizer, he'd be worried about why you're suddenly better at it. Maybe Gotham does change people. It's something Dick warned the Titans about. Gotham eats people alive.

"Are you sure?" Gar's words start to slur together just a little.

"Yeah." You nod your head and offer him a soft smile. "Just...sleep, okay? I'll find you clothes, too."

Gar's face starts to burn. "Okay." Gar nods his head, plopping down on the floor as the tranquilizer finally kicks in entirely.

"Here." Jason offers a blanket of some sort and you use it to cover Gar before you get to your feet.

"He'll be out awhile." You say softly, a sadness coating your words.

There's almost a numbness that's coming with this territory. You wonder if this is how Bruce has done it for so long, maybe that's why Bruce is the way he is. His parents were killed in front of him and then...here he is. Batman, vengeance. Maybe in order for him to be Batman, he has to be numb to it, to the pain of what comes with being a hero. Maybe he's let some of that numbness leak into his personal life and that's why he was the way he was with Dick and why he tried to be better with Jason but still failed. You wonder if he just numbs it all in order to keep going. And maybe that's not entirely Bruce's fault. Because you don't want to be numb about everything.

The pain is the worst part but outside of pain, Bruce seems to push things away and maybe that's still how he can be Batman. Maybe it wasn't always like that but bad things happen. You don't want that. It's just, you're standing here with Jason and you're annoyed with him but you're not even that mad anymore. You're tired, your shoulder hurts but emotionally, the only thing you really feel right now is worry. Worry for Gar and the Titans. That's it. That doesn't feel too good either.

Jason nods his head before he looks to the floor. He looks back to the window and then to you, nodding his head toward the window. The two of you head over to the boarded window, taking a seat below it. Jason takes his helmet off, resting it beside him as he stretches his legs out in front of him. The white streak flops onto his forehead, you getting the slightest hit of a smile at the sight.

You follow his lead, taking your own mask off as you pull your legs to your chest. You rest your head against the boards, closing your eyes as you take in a breath. Jason watches you carefully, seeing a slight tremor in your hand of the shoulder that was shot as you rest your forearms on your knees. There's a mark near your temple that looks like it might be forming into a bruise. But, that's it. Jason doesn't see anything too bad. GCPD has never been very good at taking out vigilantes. It's not really their thing which Jason is thankful for. But, he really wishes he weren't too late.

It's not his fault. He's trying to work Crane and part of that is still doing his dirty work. He had no choice but the second he could, he tried his absolute hardest to warn the Titans. It just wasn't enough. It's another really hard pill to swallow. Working with Crane is his biggest mistake. Everything is a mess and that, that part is on him. He is desperate for it all just to come to an end.

"Oh, here." You mutter, pulling the gun from your utility belt. You hand it over with caution, Jason noticing the tremor worse as he takes the gun from you. Jason blinks at you and then at the gun, trying to find the right question. "Wrestled it from a piece of shit who caused this shit, shot the piece of shit that shot Gar, then I took it."

Jason shakes his head as his eyes close for a second, growing confused. Desperate times, desperate measures. He entirely understands how you ended up with the gun. That's not really the question he has now. It's you shooting someone. Your hands are shaking and your hands very rarely ever shake after a fight. It's one of the things Jason finds the most interesting. It's your steady hands before, during, and after heavy conflicts. He was like that, too and then Deathstroke happened but now they're shaking a lot. And something looks really wrong which could also just be what happened at the station. But, Jason wonders if it's the use of a gun. You always said you weren't a fan of using them.

"You shot someone?" Jason raises a brow at you as you read the disbelief on his face.

"I mean, yeah? You shoot people." You scoff, looking forward again. "I wrestled the gun away, had it aimed at the guy and Babs yelled at me. So, I turned and shot the guy who was about to shoot me who also shot Gar. Had it in my hand, might as well." You clear your throat, still dodging Jason's stare. "I didn't have a choice. He was gonna shoot me if I didn't do something." You state quietly as you chew the inside of your cheek.

It's really not the gun. The way you see it, it's really not that different than you throwing a knife at someone's head. It kills them all the same. It's not all that different than you throwing a knife at someone's leg. It wounds them all the same. It doesn't matter. It is just everything from the last two weeks. You really hate not having the choice to walk away. You might still pick the violent answer, but you'd like a choice. You would like a choice in the way your life goes.

"Alright." Jason nods his head before he shakes it. "Why the fuck did you take it with you?" Jason asks. You know these guns can be tracked. It's police issued.

"Fuck them." You state. "If I left it, they'd shoot me. So I took it to give to you to get rid of. Or I'll throw it in the Harbor out of spite."

"Right." Jason nods his head. "Shot someone? Using my R blades? Combat? Got a cape? You really are following in my footsteps, huh?" Jason offers you a teasing grin to try and lighten your mood, just a little bit. He just hates seeing you like this.

You narrow your eyes at him but Jason catches you starting to smirk. "You're really good at this." You roll your eyes. "Be stupid not to take notes. That's what you told me to do anyway."

Jason lets out a soft chuckle. "Can't believe you fucking listened."

"Yeah, it is a rarity." You quip before you look at him, lifting your head up. While this is nice discussing your own motives, you'd love to turn it around now. Jason knew to be there and when. That sounds like a problem. "You wanna tell me what the fuck?"

"Crane." Jason lets out a scoff. It's his turn to turn his attention forward. "Had me pay off one of the guys to turn on Babs, turn the whole department. Then, take all of you guys to him." Jason looks back at you, his face reading blatant annoyance.

"And you didn't warn me?" You shake your head in disbelief, the question coming out more as a demand -- an accusation.

"No! I tried! You, Dick, and Gar didn't answer!" Jason defends himself as he turns to face you. "I'd never let you walk in there if I had a choice. I tried. And when I got there, you were already inside. So, took out the snipers." Jason shrugs his shoulders. "The Titans against the GCPD?" Jason lets out a scoff. "I figured you'd all be fine inside but I didn't leave until I saw you and Gar. I was gonna go in to help when I heard the fighting but you and Gar walked out."

You nod your head before you pull out the burner and sure enough, you have three missed calls. That makes you feel a lot better. No part of you ever really believed Jason wouldn't at least try to warn you. You are relieved though, that even when things are messy as all hell, he still has your back. He always did but tonight just feels different.

"Took out?" You raise a brow.

"Knocked them out." Jason nods with a single nod.

"You know they're gonna tell Crane Red Hood got them, right?" You question, wondering how he plans to get himself out of it. And maybe you're a little relieved. You really hate him working with Crane still even if it was your idea.

"Thought of that." Jason says through a chuckle. "Wore a different mask, put on a different hoodie. They won't know any better. I was in and out anyway." Jason offers with confidence, clearly proud to do this work.

You shake your head but give Jason a gentle smile. "Well, thank you for risking it anyway. And for trying to warn us."

"Always." Jason nods his head right back, a toothy smile on display. It's a warm smile this time. "You alright, though?" Jason asks.

"Uh...yeah, I-I uh, I think I'm bleeding again." You state, looking to your shoulder and then back to him.

"Let me see." Jason states, gesturing his hand for you to lean forward.

You lean forward as Jason unzips your suit in the back and pulls down the shoulder part of your suit. Sure enough, the wound has bled through the gauze and there's blood everywhere he can see. Jason's heart jumps to his throat. It's been hours and the wound isn't that bad. For there to be this much blood in such a short amount of time, you had to be fighting like hell to get out of there. And you did it while looking out for Gar. And Jason gets a proud smile.

"What?" You raise a brow at him, wondering why the blood is making him smile.

"Trained you well." Jason states softly, confidence and pride etched into those three words.

"Shut up." You groan. "You would take credit for it." You let out a soft laugh.

"Well, if it weren't for me, you'd get your ass kicked." Jason quips right back. "So...you're welcome." Jason gives you a smirk.

Your eyes narrow before you roll them. "Yes, thank you so much. I would just be in so much distress if not for you. Please, where would I be?!" You fake a loud whine, the sarcasm spilling from your lips.

"Arrested." Jason answers plainly as he blinks at you.

You nod your head. "Fuck you." You shrug as you widen your eyes, earning a laugh from Jason.

"Oh, well in that case, I don't have to help you now. Ya know, if you don't need my help or anything." Jason sits back, his signature smirk crossing his face.

You let out a sigh, giving him a fake glare. "You won't let me bleed out." You state with confidence. "Where would you be without me? I'm the only one who plays your games." You offer him the same smirk.

Jason gives you a single nod. "Because I play yours." Jason quips.

"Which brings us back to you not letting me bleed out." You grin at him.

"You're really confident in that." Jason nods his head, knowing damn well you're not going to bleed out.

"I'm always confident in your abilities to not let something really bad happen to me." You say softly but there's a smirk on your face. It almost reads as a joke but Jason can tell by the sweetness in your voice and how quietly you said it that it's true. Even if you only said it out loud to mess with him.

Jason fake groans. "Alright. Fine." Jason says dramatically. "Guess I'll be fucking nice and help."

"You were going to anyway." You let out a soft laugh that makes Jason's stomach spin.

"Yeah..." Jason says softly, his smile turning soft as he scoots back over to you. "How many you take down anyways?" Jason asks as he pulls the gauze off.

"I lost count." You state. "There were a lot of them though. Uh, one of them shot Blackfire though. I think Kory was trying to get out with her. Dick and Conner were still fighting when we left though."

"I saw them follow you guys out." Jason assures you. "They're alright."

A surprised but kind smile starts to come to your lips. "Did you watch for them?" You ask.

Jason shrugs. "Saw you were alright and Gar, so maybe yeah. I just hung out a minute to make sure the others got out. Kory was with Blackfire and Dick was with Conner and Krypto. Blackfire was the only one who looked hurt." Jason explains as he grabs a gauze pad from his pockets.

"Didn't help though?"

"You know there's no fucking way in hell Kory would have let me." Jason quips back.

"Yeah...." You let out a sigh. "That's probably true." You nod as Jason sticks the gauze pad to the wound. "You just carrying first aid stuff now?"

"Just being prepared." Jason chuckles. "You should be proud." Jason nods up at you once the gauze is stuck and in place. "You should be okay. Here." Jason pulls another gauze pad out. "Just in case."

"Thanks, Jay." You take it, the shaking in your hands not as prominent now.

"You and me." Jason nods once at you with a soft smile before zipping her suit back up.

"You and me." You nod back before putting the gauze pad in your utility belt. "So...Crane has the department?" You clear your throat. It would be easier not to discuss that but you don't have that privilege.

"Yep." Jason shakes his head. "He's got more than that. The video, everyone is falling for his shit. He's gonna try to destroy Gotham." Jason states.

"How?" You ask.

"Taking over everyone and turning everyone against you guys for starters. I don't know what else he has planned. I know it's not fucking good though. He's losing it."

"Fantastic." You roll your eyes.

According to Bruce's file on Crane, this is what always happens. He has a plan and it works well at first but then he starts to crumble, spiral, and it all goes to shit. Crane does try to take people with him though and no one is left unscathed when Crane starts to fall off the deep end. You're getting the feeling this isn't going to end well.

"You, uh, you should probably head out then, right?" You ask cautiously. "Like, if someone sees you with us, leading us here or sees me leave after seeing you leave. That'll be a problem. You know Crane wants the city, so find out how."

Jason grits his teeth and he hates this. It was his idea to go to Crane in the first place and maybe this is just his penance for it. Being forced to work with him not that he wants to kill him. And he hates the idea of leaving you and Gar. The entire city is going to want you dead. The GCPD already tried to turn them in to Crane who would have killed you. You can handle yourselves but anything can happen out there. Worse things can happen though if he doesn't find out what Crane is doing and put a stop to it.

"Yeah." Jason answers shortly. "Alright, yeah." Jason nods his head with a sigh. "Use the burner though, let me know if you find anyone. I'll try to get into the traffic cameras and see if I can locate anyone for you and Gar to get to." Jason explains as he gets to his feet.

"Thanks, Jay." You offer him a soft smile. "We'll be fine." You assure him.

"Right." Jason nods his head, plucking his helmet from the floor. "If shit starts going south--"

"I'll call or text. I got it, Jay. We've been here plenty of times now. Look who's the one worrying now." You scrunch your nose at him, mostly to try and ease some of his worry and hide yours.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Jason lets out a scoff but the corners of his mouth tug up slightly. "Good luck." Jason nods once before he turns and heads out of the room, leaving you alone with an unconscious Gar.

You sit against the window for several hours, just looking through the slats of the window. The city is going to shit. Chaos is already starting to hit the streets. Fires and fights, you can see the few buildings across the street boarding up their windows. Maybe this is what Crane wanted. GCPD is with Crane and Gotham doesn't have any vigilantes to protect it. That's when you start to think how odd this whole thing is.

Bruce ran the city on fear. Fear of the Bat and how he could take down anyone, send them to Arkham but with the insurance policy of making it out alive. It was still fear that kept a lot of people from committing at least serious crimes and it did keep Gotham, at least, somewhat safer with certain things. Crane's entire obsession is with fear. He makes people live out their worst fears. It's what he does but now he's trying to control Gotham by turning everyone against the vigilantes which just makes them unafraid. You aren't sure what that has to do with anything or if it even matters but it's something you can't help but think about it. And you wonder what will happen if it works. What happens if he gets what he wants this time? Where does that leave the Titans? Gotham?

You've never been much of a team player. You've always done better alone or with one person. It's easier that way. You wonder if that's how it should be. You remember when you left the tower and Dick said you could be a Titan again. If you wanted to. But, the more you sit here and think about it, maybe you don't want to. There are too many moving pieces and even though it's not your responsibility, it's too much to have to worry about so many people all at once. And if Dick fucks up, they all die. That's a pretty big burden to carry and you aren't so sure you want that every single day. Maybe to help sometimes, yeah. But, maybe not every day and if Crane wins, this is Gotham. You'll fight tirelessly until it's not his anymore because this city doesn't belong to him. It doesn't belong to anyone like him.

After a few more hours, the sun starts to come up, the gloomy clouds blocking most of the pretty oranges and pinks. You check your phone, only for there to be an x where the service bars are. You try to make a call to Dick but the service is unavailable. Fantastic. Your best guess is this has to do with whatever Crane has coming or the chaos that Gotham is under which means you and Gar are on your own until you're able to find the rest of the Titans. But you can't just sit here for right now.

You still need to grab some sort of food for you both and grab clothes for Gar so while the streets aren't as busy you decide now might be a good time to try and find supplies. The streets aren't as busy as they were earlier and nothing should be open yet. There's a convenience store not far so if you're quick, you could break in, grab what you and Gar need, and be back before anyone spots you. It shouldn't be too hard. So, you grab your mask and make your way to the door Jason let you through last night only to be caught completely off guard as the door swings open.

"Rachel?" You question as you pull your mask off.

Rachel blinks at you a few times before gaining a soft smile. "Hey." She didn't know you even got a suit.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You ask as you tug Rachel inside and close the door behind her.

"I don't know. I just had a feeling I needed to come back." Rachel states, somewhat ominously.

You've never been so relieved to see Rachel. Rachel is literally the daughter of a demon. Based on how Gotham is looking right about now, you might need that. So far, nothing else has worked and Rachel killed her dad. Not to mention, the Titans could really just use some more hands if you stand a chance against the entire population of Gotham City.

"Oh, yeah no we could use some fucking help right about now." You laugh softly.

"Yeah? What is going on?" Rachel looks around the abandoned building, taking notice in how rundown and cold it is. "It's kind of weird out there." Rachel states, remembering how Gotham was before when Dick brought them on the way to San Fransisco.

This is not that Gotham. There are fires in the streets now, people yelling, being more guarded than usual. It's every person for themselves and it's six in the morning. No one should even have enough energy for that now. But, word got out that the vigilantes are gone and the commissioner was arrested. People have really lost it since.

"You haven't talked to anyone right?" You question, remembering Rachel was unreachable to everyone meaning she probably needs a full recap.

"Right, I couldn't really talk to anyone while I was there." Rachel says with hesitance, starting to worry about where this might go.

"Awesome. Jason died." You spit out, ripping the bandaid off.

Rachel coughs. "He what?!"

"Yeah, Joker beat him to death with a crowbar. So, Bruce went and killed the Joker. Fast forward to all the Titans showing up, and surprise, Jason's alive again. Lazarus Pit." You spit it out before Rachel can even ask. "Only he's Red Hood now and he was addicted to a drug made by Jonathan Crane, Scarecrow. That made him fearless which was unpleasant, honestly. So, for the last two weeks, I've been trying to get him clean while he's been trying to kill Dick. And Dick's been trying to capture him. He's clean now and on our side but I got shot and Dick got shot and Gar just got tranquilized last night. Crane is trying to take over the city, he poisoned the water. We were almost all killed last night because of it. It's been a mess." You nod casually as you finish.

"Um..." Rachel tries to find the right words to even process any of that. "I missed a lot." Rachel nods.

"Oh, yeah, welcome to Gotham." You mutter as you lead Rachel up the stairs. "And now, apparently, cell towers are down because I can't get a call out. I have no idea where everyone else is. It's just Gar and me."

"Okay, wait. So, where is everyone else? And where is Jason?" Rachel questions. She could tell that all of the Titans weren't here but she didn't realize you and Gar would be on your own entirely.

"No idea. He's been trying to find out what Crane is planning. He's the only reason any of us got out alive last night. He took out the snipers. As for the Titans, I don't know." You say sadly, sucking in a deep breath. "We got separated and the city went to shit not long after."

"What a mess." Rachel says softly.

"Yeah. Donna?" You ask with hope. If Jason can be brought back, there has to be a way to bring back Wonder Girl.

Rachel shakes her head sadly. "Nope."

You let out a sigh of defeat. "I'm sorry. At least you tried though." You look over to her as you reach the room where Gar is still passed out. "More than what most people would do. There has to be a way though." You assure her.

"Yeah, maybe we should ask Jason how it all works." Rachel says only half joking.

"He doesn't know. I did ask." You let out a soft laugh. "He doesn't even know where it is." You let out a breath. "Anyway, we're hiding here until we figure out what to do and until Gar wakes up." You gesture to the room just as Gar starts to stir awake.

Gar's eyes land on the two of you as confusion wraps itself around him. The last thing he remembers is you and Jason being here. It's fuzzy but he remembers that. The person standing next to you is not Jason though. Jason doesn't normally wear all black. He blinks a few times, trying to get his vision to focus and once it does, he's certain something went wrong.

"Rachel?" Gar asks, eyes still partially closed with sleep while the two of you get closer. "Did I die again or are you really real?"

"Of course I'm real." Rachel says as the two of you crouch down.

"I found her." You state.

"I found you." Rachel looks back at you.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah same thing." You state. "How you feeling?"

"Tired." Gar chuckles. "How did you find her?"

"I could just feel you guys." Rachel states simply. "Your energy. I started at GCPD, ended up here." Rachel explains as she hands Gar his clothes.

The two of you stand up and turn around so Gar can change. You're definitely thankful Rachel was able to grab his clothes because that was one thing you were not confident you could grab. And he can't very well just be out there with a blanket.

"Did you find anyone else?" Gar asks as he gets dressed.

"No, I came here first." Rachel says.

"I actually didn't leave. I opened the door and Rachel was there but cell towers are down so I can't even reach out to try to find them." You roll your shoulders.

"So, now what?" Gar asks once he's fully clothed.

You and Rachel turn around, looking between each other.

"I have no idea." You answer with defeat.

Meanwhile, Crane decides he's earned his right to Wayne Manor. With the Titans out of commission and in hiding, the manor is open. It's safe and it'll be the perfect place for Crane to call home now. It'll make it easier to run Gotham from the Manor, having access to not only the Batcave but everything within the Batcave. And of course, he decided to take Jason with him who's still not liking this whole getting along with him thing when the only thing he wants to do is put a bullet in his head right about now.

With the lines down, it's going to make it that much harder for him to even contact anyone. If Jason does find out what Crane is planning, how is he supposed to find Dick without Crane catching onto what he's doing? This whole plan is a mess and being back at the manor isn't making Jason feel any better. It feels wrong.

This isn't Crane's home. Jason is pissed -- hurt by Bruce but maybe that doesn't mean letting Crane into the manor is a good idea. He's going to take over the place and make it his when he doesn't even belong here. But, Jason is also thinking of how he doesn't belong here either. Bruce abandoned him. This was never really Jason's home anyway. He tried to make it fit, tried to make it stick but it was never really him anyway. The fancy manor, the galas, events, press, money, just having a place to go home to that was safe. Even the training didn't feel like him. He loves it more than words but at the beginning, even that just felt like he was just trying to fill in the shoes that would always be the wrong size. But now, it feels worse. He feels more like he's trespassing. He's not supposed to be alive, let alone here with Crane. In another world, Jason thinks maybe he'd have ditched Crane after being brought back and he would have walked in to find Bruce. Maybe it would be different then.

But, it's not.

"So, this is what a billion dollars gets ya?" Crane asks, standing overlooking the living room. Crane makes his way down into the main living room, examining the curtains on his way down. "Interior designers the world over-exclaimed, meh." Crane shrugs with boredom before glancing to Jason who's still standing on the landing looking over the room. "Alright enough with the whole tortured hero stuff. Come on. We have reached the summit. It's time for us to enjoy the view. I think this calls for some spirits." Crane states as he takes his coat off, tossing it onto the couch before he grabs a bottle of alcohol.

Tortured hero? That's what he thinks the issue is here? Crane's gotten Jason to make a drug, get addicted to it, kill innocent people, turn on everyone who ever cared about him, Crane almost killed you, and is trying to tear down the city. Being this so-called tortured hero is not Jason's issue. Crane is arrogant and delusional. Jason can't tell if he's just doing it on purpose or if he believes any of the shit that leaves his mouth. Crane is selfish and cruel. Jason is kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. Crane doesn't care about anyone or anything besides himself. And Jason's just stuck here playing along.

"Look," Crane states as he uncorks the bottle. "Make a toast. To Batsy." Crane says, pouring himself a glass. "To beating them. To knowing them. To growing them." Crane says as he hands a glass to Jason. Jason takes it, not bothering to start the argument now. "We gotta redecorate." Crane says, looking around. "Starting with this." Crane says as he eyes the large painted portrait of the Wayne's hanging above the fireplace.

Crane pushes a chair in front of the fireplace, using it as a ladder to grab the painting. He places the painting down in front of the fireplace, kicking the chair out of the way. Then he grabs a knife from his pocket, eyeing the painting.

"Actually, you should do the honors." Crane turns around to face Jason, offering him the knife.

Jason walks around the couch, grabbing the knife from Crane before Crane walks to plop himself on the couch. Jason watches him before he looks back to the painting, questioning if he should actually listen to Crane on this one. It feels wrong but he is still really hurt.

"It's time to finally pay back your father for the gifts he's given you." Crane states with ease.

Jason stares at the painting and at first there's a guilt that comes over him. This is of Bruce and his parents. His parents are gone, it's not like this can be replaced. But, the more he stands here, the more he thinks about how badly he's been hurt by Bruce.

Bruce gave him magic by giving him Robin and then he just...ripped it away. He did what everyone always does. Promise him something and then take it away, take from him. He begged him not to give up on him and Bruce did anyway. Bruce gave up on him just like everyone else. He never bothered to try to understand him. Bruce just sent him to Leslie to fix him. And while Jason knows, he is the one that went after the Joker, Bruce didn't do anything about it.

He didn't even realize something was wrong or that something was going on. He should have noticed and he should have tried to help. Based on the context Jason has gotten from you, it does not sound like Bruce was worried and asked you to check on him. You figured it out. Not Bruce, the world's greatest detective. Jason was cooking Crane's drug and seeing Crane and Bruce never once figured it out. You did and while you're good at detective work, Bruce is supposed to be the best. But, when it comes to his own son, he just...failed? Jason swears it was on purpose because how else did he fucking miss it? How did he miss that Jason was struggling so badly? Jason doesn't scream from the rooftops that he needs help but he also makes it obvious in his own way and Bruce missed every single cry for help Jason has ever given him.

Bruce knows Jason's entire past, every piece of it and he will never understand. Jason pushed a serial rapist off a building and all Bruce did was get mad. He never bothered to care to understand Jason's point of view of the situation. Maybe that's just Jason breaking the rules, but it was Bruce's job to try to understand. Jason was just a kid. And he was brutally murdered and it's fine Bruce has a no-kill rule but the way Jason sees it, he should have killed the Joker because the Joker took Jason away from Burce. Jason is Bruce's son, he said so, and he picked him, and yet he's the one that feels left behind and abandoned and damaged. He was never good enough. He was always too much of a bother to try to understand. Bruce only ever wanted to fix him in the way Bruce wanted to fix everyone, make them just like him. But, that doesn't work for Jason and he doesn't think he'll ever be fixed and he's pissed and hurt because he hates feeling broken.

So, he pulls his arm back and starts slicing up the painting with everything in him.

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kwanisms · 1 year

Text

Kinkuary 16 Chan — face fucking // deepthroating

➥ dom!Chan × service sub!Reader

summary: Chan can't believe his ears when his girlfriend comes to him, asking him to live out not only one but two of his fantasies. Of course he's gonna jump at the chance.

wc: 2.1k

warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, sexual content (minors dni!): dom!Chan, sub!Reader (she just wants to do a good job), oral (m receiving, f receiving), throat training, face fucking, deepthroating, cum swallowing, fingering, edging, use of pet names (a mix of baby, honey, angel, and slut lol), slight sir kink if you squint, Chan is a little hard but he takes care of the reader afterwards.

a/n: apologies for this being so late. I have no excuse except I'm exhausted and wanna die lol anyway hi, I'm back on my dom Lee Chan agenda. He is a dom and you will not change my mind lol this is a hill i will die on. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy this installment of Kinkuary and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

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"We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

You glanced up at Chan sitting before you, his hand moving to take your chin gently. "If you're nervous or scared," he added. "We don't have to do this." His genuine smile just made you more determined.

When you had approached him earlier with your demand, Chan nearly choked on his drink. He'd been standing in the kitchen of your apartment, drinking some water after a long workout with Soonyoung and Jihoon.

He'd just taken a shower and wanted to find something to eat when you approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist while he looked through your fridge. "We could always order out," he murmured, eyes scanning the interior of your refrigerator but finding nothing caught his eye. You'd watched as he pulled from your grasp and pulled out his phone to scroll through nearby takeout places.

You'd gotten a serious look on your face before calling his name. He turned to give you his attention. "What's up?" he asked, lifting the bottle of water as you spoke.

"I want you to fuck my face."

He'd let out a choked sound, coughing as he set the bottle of water on the counter. You waited for his shock to subside. "You what?" he gasped. You blinked slowly before taking a deep breath.

"I want you to fuck my face," you repeated calmly.

Chan walked over to you, pressing a hand to your forehead and checking for a temperature. You assured him you were fine. "Where is this coming from?" he asked, taking your hands in his.

"You always talk about it when I go down on you and I finally put some thought into it and I want to try," you explained. Chan took your face in his hands, eyes looking into yours.

"You know you don't have to do this to please me," he murmured. "Sure, I've thought about doing it several times, but… I don't want to hurt you," he said softly, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. "If I hurt you, I'd never forgive myself," he added.

You pulled his hands from your cheeks and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Please, Channie?" you said sweetly. The sweet tone in your voice paired with the innocent look in your eyes did things to him. The fire that had started in the pit of his stomach the moment you first spoke was fanned by the way you called him Channie.

He let his actions speak for him, hand cradling the back of your neck as he took your lips in a heated kiss, tongue slipping past your parted lips and groaning as your hands found purchase on his waist, pulling him closer, pressing your body on his.

The kiss progressed, hands moving quickly as you tugged at each other's clothes, stumbling through your apartment to the bedroom where you finally took a little control from your boyfriend and pushed him down onto the bed before kneeling in front of him.

Chan removed your top, revealing you weren't wearing shorts under the oversized tee-shirt and that you had donned a black set of lace underwear with straps. "You were prepared, weren't you?" he asked, fingers slipping under the strap of your bra and snapping the band against your skin. You nodded slowly.

"Yes, sir."

"No," you said back in the moment with your boyfriend. You met his gaze once more, shaking your head as much as you could in his grip. "I want to do this. It's not just for you. It's for me, too."

Chan's thumb brushed over your lips, smearing your lip gloss slightly. "If you insist," he said with a slight smirk. "If you wanna tap out for any reason," he continued. "Just tap my thigh three times. Since you won't be able to speak. Two taps for yellow, three for red."

"What about green?" you asked, looking up at him again, leaning into his touch as his hand moved to stroke your hair. "One tap for green then?" he asked with a shrug. You nodded. "That sounds good," you replied as his hand continued to smooth over your hair.

"I guess, get to it," he said sitting back, resting his hands on the mattress to hold his weight, nodding down to his prominent erection in his sweats.

You'd never been one to beat around the bush, you were always direct in pleasuring him but you wanted to take it slow. Even if you weren't inexperienced in giving head, letting him use your mouth as his own personal fleshlight was different.

He'd never been overly forceful, prioritizing your comfort over his orgasm. He always made sure you were okay and that he hadn't hurt you. Your safety and comfort meant everything to him.

As your fingers fumbled with the ties of his pants, an idea formed in his mind. He was getting the chance to live out one of his fantasies, what was one more?

Chan grabbed your wrist as your fingers slipped under his waistband, halting your movements. You looked up at him with wide eyes. "One more thing," he said, locking eyes with you, waiting for you to respond which you did with a nod.

"Can I request that you let me use that pretty throat of yours, too?" he asked, his hand moving to caress your neck. Your eyes widened. "You want to fuck my throat, too?" you asked softly. He nodded.

"I promise I'll be gentle," he said, his fingers sweeping over your pulse point. "It's something else I've thought about. My cock down your throat as I cum. You can say no, angel," he added, noticing how quiet you'd become. You looked back up at him and nodded.

"Okay."

Before he could respond, you tugged his pants and underwear down, forcing him to lift his hips so you could drag his clothes down his thighs. Sitting up higher, you took his now free length in your hand, dropping some of your spit on the tip and starting to stroke him slowly.

He let out an exhale as his head fell back. “Don’t hold back your moans,” you said softly as you leaned forward. “I want to hear how good I make you feel.”

Chan let out a low moan as you took the head of his cock into your mouth, tongue swirling around the tip. You’d given him oral plenty of times to know exactly what he liked and what he didn’t like. Luckily for you, as long as you used your mouth, Chan liked whatever you did to him.

“A little more, honey,” he urged, moving one of his hands to the back of your head and pushing down slightly.

You took more of him in your mouth, moving your hand to rest on his thigh as he continued to guide your head, bobbing up and down, pushing just a bit further each time and forcing more of his cock in your mouth.

You felt the tip hit the back of your throat and gagged instinctively. Chan allowed you to pull back, asking if you were okay before guiding your head again when you answered in the affirmative.

Each time his cock hit the back of your throat, he’d hold your head in place a little longer. “Sorry,” you gasped, wiping saliva and precum off your chin. You’d gone as long as you could but had to tap out for a moment to breathe.

Chan smiled, brushing your hair back. “Don’t apologize,” he said softly. “You’re doing amazing.”

His praise filled your chest and you were ready to go again.

“There you go,” he groaned as your head sank down, taking his cock back into your mouth. He continued to offer praise as your head bobbed, taking more and more of him into your mouth, enjoying the gentle groans and moans as you used what you knew he liked against him.

You felt his fingers tighten in your hair and he experimentally thrusted into your mouth, causing you to gag. Chan quickly pulled you off him, offering an apology but you shook your head. “Keep going,” you said, your voice slightly hoarse.

You guided the head of his cock past your lips once more and gave him control.

Chan hesitantly took hold of your hair and gave another thrust that this time you thankfully didn’t gag on. He gave another, setting a slow pace as he tried to gauge how much you could take.

When you didn’t motion for him to stop, he kept going, this time, using his hands to move your head. You relaxed your jaw and closed your eyes, trying not to pay attention to the arousal that pooled in your panties as your boyfriend forced more of his cock into your mouth and partially into your throat.

“Shit,” he hissed, holding your head in place, cock lodged in your throat where you could feel it twitch slightly. “Hold it for a second longer,” he groaned as your throat constricted around him before finally pulling you back to take a breath.

The room filled with the sound of the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat as he used your mouth to pleasure himself. You could feel your panties starting to stick to your skin and wouldn’t be surprised if your arousal started to spill onto the floor.

Chan let out a groan, his thighs under your hands tensing as his orgasm approached. “Oh shit. I’m gonna—,” he gasped, pushing your head down as he came, his release spilling down your throat.

Once he finished, he pulled you off him, murmuring apologies and praise as he pulled you up onto his lap. “You did so fucking well,” he mumbled, peppering kisses all over your face. “Here,” he added, pulling his shirt up to wipe your chin.

His hand cupped your cheek as he examined your face. “Lemme see,” he said, urging you to open your mouth. You obliged him and he groaned. “You swallowed all of it?” He asked, sounding surprised.

You nodded meekly, squeaking when he easily tossed you off his lap and onto the bed, stuffing himself back into his pants before settling between your thighs.

“What are you-?” You asked as he took hold of your shorts and panties, pulling them down quickly and tossing them aside. “I’m returning the favor,” he said as he drew level with your soaked center.

“And by the looks of it, you need some release.”

You opened your mouth to protest but only let out a moan as he slipped two fingers into your warm walls, guiding them slowly as he watched your expression morph from shock to pleasure.

“Shhh, honey,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. “Let me take care of you like you did for me.”

You whined as he started a steady pace, his fingers moving in and out of you. Your thighs threatened to close on him the second you felt his tongue on your clit. But he managed to keep them apart by pushing one thigh up, giving him more access.

“C-chan!” You whimpered as his tongue flicked against your clit, propelling you closer to the edge. He pulled back, continuing the torturously slow pace with his fingers inside you and a devilish grin on his face.

“I never said I wasn’t going to tease you first.”

You body shook, beyond frustrated at the lack of orgasm as Chan kept building you up only to stop and let your climax slip away.

“Please let me cum, Chan!” You cried out when he stopped all movement for what felt like the sixth or seventh time. He chuckled softly, curling his fingers inside you slowly, prompting your orgasm to slowly build up again.

“Such a good little slut, using her manners,” he cooed, his fingers suddenly pistoning in and out of your cunt quickly. The sudden increase caused you to cry out, grabbing his wrist with one hand.

“What’s wrong, baby? I thought you wanted to cum,” he said in a mockingly sweet tone, his hand stopping. “Too much,” you whine. “Too fast.” You heard him click his tongue.

“You begged me to let you cum but now it’s too much? What do you want, angel?”

“I-” you swallowed thickly. “I wanna cum, Chan, please.”

“But you don’t want me to be too harsh?” He asked, slowly starting back up. You nodded as his fingers curled again, making your back arch off the mattress. “Well, you were so good for me earlier,” he said softly, keeping his eyes on your face.

“I guess I can be good for you, too.”

#svthub #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #lee chan scenarios #lee chan imagines #lee chan smut #lee chan x reader #kwanisms kinkuary #kinkuary 2023

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ellabism · 4 months

Note

do you have any fav ellabs fics? I just scrolled down your blog and love all your writing about them (thank you!) and I relate 100% like yes mood I agree.

I trust your taste completely if you’d spare me a crumb I’d love to read whatever is your fav, no worries if you don’t have the time/energy I always have your blog to feed my ellabs need now lol

hi! thanks so much for asking! i don't mind making a list of my personal fav ellabs fics. just buckle up because ive dissected this ao3 tag through and through.

also fair warning a lot of these fics are unfinished and i don't think they're ever going to be finished ): read at your own risk

why does my heart cry?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52598836/chapters/133047805

a recent ellabs fic on my radar. absolutely love as its currently being updated! give it some love, the author gets inspired by positive comments! this fic also has warnings of r word so read at your own risk.

assumptions

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53457232

NSFW! a really really hot one-shot. really really good. that's all.

are we destined to go full circle?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53028508

another one-shot fic. a really good premise, i love it so much.

i'll touch that fire for you

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49341436/chapters/124510642

modern day ellabs as ex girlfriends. very toxic still in a modern aspect and i love it.

unbroken

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30771995/chapters/75953900

MY ABSOLUTE FAV! i love this fic, though it takes a while for updates, definitely worth the wait!

where stolen roses grow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47851273/chapters/120635659

REALLY cool concept and new take on how ellie's immunity affects her body. i love this one

paper bag

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45841327/chapters/115369633

a modern ellabs fic. i love the premise for ellie and abby here and how they interact among abby's friend group. i feel like not many fics implements abby's friends. also ellie is an ex prisoner. hot as fuck

we've fallen (so far)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757314/chapters/62552452

a cool twist on how santa barbara ends up. i really hope the author will come back to this one i love it ):

there is a crack, a crack in everything-that's how the light gets in

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30440616/chapters/75056037

ADORE THIS FIC SO BADLY ITS SO CUTE! fair warning it gets into really deep and heavy things. read at your on discretion. but it has a cute lev and ellie bonding moments and i LIVE FOR THOSE! they're bffs in my mind.

you're the one who saved me

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38285101/chapters/95661985

another twist on the events in santa barbara. really cute fic and i wish it kept going.

the way sorrow tastes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521575/chapters/72534786

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic. i'd give an arm an a leg for it to get frequent updates again. another fic that has r word content. read at your own discretion.

the good fight

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28929720/chapters/70981443

an actual finished ellabs fic! love this one so bad

retribution

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692549/chapters/65108920

this fic has a special place in my heart because of the ellie and lev dynamic that's in it. if there's one thing to know about me, is that i love the idea of ellie and lev bonding like siblings. they'd get along so well. another fic i'd give up an arm and a leg for for more updates.

my god damn christmas present

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408266

HEHE this one is so cute. a modern ellabs take with having a whole family. a cute wholesome little one-shot.

handsy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25475419

NSFW! another really hot one-shot. had me drooling.

the collector

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041016/chapters/60645616

NSFW! i love this fic. ellie selling her artowrk and abby being a collector. it gets hot. so so hot.

tail lights

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35929312/chapters/89580607

REALLY GOOD, WELL WRITTEN fic by one of my friends actually. the slow burn is saur good. but unfortunately there will not be a tail lights 2. sorry yall

tiles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51887800/chapters/131198848

NSFW! really hot one-shot of them having fun at a party.

well, there's my list. i told y'all it would be long.

as i made this list it made me sad realizing how many of these amazing fics are abandoned ): i wish some of these authors will have the energy to get back on these, cause so many people adore them.

i will edit and add more if i forgot any. enjoy, happy reading!

#ellabs #ellie williams #abby anderson #the last of us #the last of us 2 #abby x ellie #ellie x abby #silly headcanons #anon ask #tlou #tlou2 #fic rec #fic list #im crazy

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kadextra · 10 days

Text

so on a whim I started reading omniscient reader’s viewpoint manhwa

..and got hooked on the story so hard that I easily blasted through all available eps in less than a week. istg they put dr*gs in this thing it’s so good???? 😭

[SPOILER WARNING! big ramble ahead. if you’ve never read it, leave this post. consider checking it out you won’t be able to put it down]

lets get this out of the way first.

RAHHHHHH KIM DOKJA….. KIM DOKJA I LOVE YOU

GUYSSSSS 🥺 LISTEN. HE’S SUCH A GOOD PROTAGONIST. MY TRAUMA BOY. MY DUDE WITH THE POWER TO INFODUMP PEOPLE TO DEATH. YOU SELF-SACRIFICING IDIOT. his cunning intelligence makes him super attractive what can I say, I LOVE smart mcs with ambiguous morality and self sacrificial nature

here’s a big ✨shut your mouth✨ to every character who’s said he’s ugly- get your eyes checked, get a job get away from him (I know it’s because of the fourth wall’s filter it’s not their fault I’m just being silly)

the fourth wall is such a cool power to have. the complexity of how it acts based on his perception of fiction vs reality as the reader …. that’s very interesting and well thought out!!! how it lowkey has a consciousness too and it’s so tied into his mental state makes me want to psychoanalyze this guy even more. probably one of the most unique powers I’ve seen created and explored in a story tbh

I think the entire system of how the world works is really well done in general. constellations watching the apocalyptic bloodbath via livestream and sending donos to their favorite little guys shouldn’t work as well as it does and cracks me up so much 😭 (uriel is the best). I enjoy learning about all the irl different fables, history & mythologies too. plus doing my own research is fun! I did a deep dive through the web to learn about dokkaebi folklore lol I’m having a good time

I also related hard to how dokja read TWSA throughout his life, the story was a companion for him. got choked up bc I reflected on how much my own favorite companion stories for years mean to me. there’s been situations I’ve thought “what would (character) do?” dokja saying stuff like “what would joonghyuk do?” felt like I got called out <3 I’d probably be the same as him if my favorite characters suddenly came to life

anyways yeah I caught up with the manhwa looked online and discovered it comes from an already completed novel with over 500 chapters and the manhwa is barely a third into adapting it though it’s been releasing every week for 4 years. and that it’ll take like 10 more years to finish. I then planted my face in my hands and screamed with despair

I’ll shrivel up waiting to see what happens……………heyyy woahhhh.. whats this light of salvation ? the novel file just completed download on my phone ? that’s crazyy wow I opened it ? im scrolling it right now ? omg I’m telling myself in the mirror “pace yourself, try to space your reading out do NOT read too fast” ?

jokes aside im excited, first I’ll take some time to read back through the earlier chapters for extra context of scenes! >:D after I finish doing that…. pls pray for my self-control to try stretching this for as long as possible. I’m pumped to see what happens next with this demon king part so maybe I’ll read along with the manhwa unless I get too impatient heh

to conclude- I had no idea the fandom of orv was so passionate. while closing my eyes to spoilers, I was looking at beautiful fanart and animatics (watched this one and ascended that’s one of my fav rin songs). I can tell how much you guys love the story, there’s always going to be people like me who get interested so keep it up :D if the fandom does end up reading this, ummm *knocks on the door* hi im new

I will likely talk about it more in the future!! tagging under #orv & “ #kade reads ”. might draw fanart on my art blog too bc brainworms <3 happy reading everyone

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kade reads

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ladykailitha · 1 year

Text

Oh For a Muse of Fire! Part 2

LOL! I love how much you guys are loving this. I took the idea for the names at the bar from a fantasy novel called The Lark and the Wren (I’m pretty sure) by Mercedes Lackey (only in that case it was a brothel).

Also guys: If I have you on my list but you didn’t get the notification for the tag it means one of two things: it’s a side or secondary blog and tumblr doesn’t tag those. Or and this far more likely you have it set that you’re undiscoverable through tumblr. Under settings go to your blog then scroll all the way down to visibility and make sure both are grey. (Or secret third thing that your blog is set to 18+ because tumblr hates porn.)

Part 1

Steve was trembling when he got to the apartment he shared with Robin. So badly that he was struggling to put the key in the lock. After the third failed attempt, he let out a sharp cry and sunk to the floor, his back pressed against the door.

He knew that he wasn’t the best person in high school. He did. But he had changed his senior year. Stopped hanging out with Tommy and Carol. Started focusing on his art. Meeting Robin.

Hell, as far as Steve could remember they hadn’t even gone after Eddie and his friends. He would like to say that it was because he had a crush on the guy. But no, it was just they ran in different circles and were just outside their purview.

He held his hands up and while they still shook, they weren’t as bad. He got up and tried again. With some effort he managed to get the key in the lock. He sighed in relief as the tumbler slid and allowed him to open the door.

As badly as Steve wanted to grab the six pack out of the fridge and down the whole thing, wallowing in self-pity. He couldn’t because he actually had work.

He had to train his replacement. He worked at an upscale bar close to campus, bar-tending. It was good money and he was able to work nights and go to school during the day. But if everything went according to plan, at the end of summer Steve would be starting his student teaching position. So the bar needed a new bartender.

He pulled on the black slacks and white button up that his uniform and his white sneakers. He rolled up his sleeves and checked his hair really quick in the mirror.

It would have to do.

He splashed water on his face to wash away the tears and clear his mind of cobwebs. He didn’t have the liberty of fucking up.

Steve grabbed his car keys and jumped into his BMW. The last remnant of his father’s hospitality. He had gotten the car when he was sixteen and the car was nearing its first decade. He kept his fingers crossed that it would last until he got his first full time teaching job.

When he pulled up the bar, he could see her waiting for him by the door. She was pretty blonde with bright eyes and a cheerful expression. She was wearing a short black skirt and high heeled shoes.

Steve shook his head. She was in for a rough time tonight if that’s what she was going to be wearing.

He trotted up to her. “Hey, you must be the new girl.”

“Yeah I’m C–”

Steve held up his hand. “If you’re going to tell me your real name, don’t. The boss doesn’t like us knowing each other’s real names, says it distracts from the ambient feel. I’m Garnet.”

She blushed. “Right, right. He said. I’m Opal.”

Steve nodded. “Or at least at first hopefully by the time I leave you’ll be upgraded to a nicer gem.”

Opal fell instep with him as he led the way through the bar. “Have you always been Garnet, then?”

Steve licked his lips. “Yeah. It’s something of a running joke now. I’m the best bartender this bar has ever had and I’ve never been upgraded to Ruby or whatever.”

She nodded.

“Truth is Diamond respects me, but he sure the hell doesn’t like me,” he explained.

“You think Diamond is his real name?” Opal asked eagerly.

Steve shrugged. “Could be.” He grabbed two aprons from their hooks and tossed one at her. “This will help prevent you going home smelling like the bar.”

She nodded, tying it deftly around her waist.

“Diamond said you’ve done this before?” Steve asked, pulling out two white towels and tossing her one.

Opal nodded. “At my last job. It closed up because the owners retired.”

Steve nodded. “So then this won’t be too difficult. This will just be me showing you were everything is and showing you how to make the house specials.”

“Pretty much,” she said cheerfully.

Steve looked down at her shoes. “Your last place make you wear heels to tend in?”

She looked down at her feet. “Yeah, said I was too short to see over the bar otherwise.”

He cocked his head to side. “But you aren’t that short...”

Opal laughed, clear as a bell. “Oh I know. He was just a misogynist pig. I do have flats with me since I take the bus.”

“Put them on,” Steve instructed. “We move way too fast for you to be in heels. I don’t want you breaking your ankle or have blisters by the end of the night.”

She nodded and pulled out a pair of black flats and slipped them on, shoving the heels back in the purse.

“You’ll want tennis shoes or any other comfortable shoe from now on,” Steve explained. “You’re also allowed to wear slacks if you want. The patrons aren’t going to see below your waist and the apron covers your chest. Your tips will come from you being fast and good.”

Opal saluted. “Aye, aye Captain!”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I think you’ll fit in just fine.”

“Garnet!” a uncoordinated blur shouted and jumped into his arms. Steve caught her deftly and shook his head.

“Hey, Pearl,” he said with a grin. He set her down. “Say hi to the new girl.”

Pearl turned slowly to see that yes, someone was with Steve.

“Uh, hi,” she said, shyly. “Garnet’s my best friend.”

Steve gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Yes, you are. Pearl, this is Opal. She’s my replacement come August. Opal, this gangly giraffe is one of the best waitresses the Queen’s Crown has to offer.”

Pearl smacked Steve’s arm. “Pay no attention to him.”

Opal laughed. “Kinda hafta because he’s training me.”

“Well besides that,” Pearl said. “He’s just a big dingus with a bigger heart.”

Steve blushed.

“Aww...” Opal said, “you two are cute together.”

Pearl made a fake vomiting noise. “We’re just best friends. Platonic with a capital P.”

Steve shook his head. “Ignore her.”

Opal laughed. “Five minutes in and I’m already ignoring everyone. This must be quite the friendly place.”

Just then a large man came out of the back and threw his arms wide open.

“Opal, my pet!” he boomed. “You made it. These two haven’t been giving you a hard time, have they?”

Opal shook her head. “They’ve been sweet.”

“Good, good,” Diamond said with a grin. “The bar opens in an hour. Garnet will show you everything you need to do to get stared.”

He gave them a wink and lumbered back into office.

Steve cleared his throat. “Right. So everyone pitches into to step and take down everything. Take down will include wiping everything down and sweeping and mopping the floors. Even Diamond comes out and helps wash glasses.”

Opal’s eyes went wide. “Seriously?”

Pearl nodded. “He’s kinda a if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself kind of guy. Not always, he does trust us to do our jobs, but he’s very hands on.”

“But he doesn’t help set up?” Opal asked,

Steve looked back behind him and then back at her. “He gets the drawers ready for the day. He counts it all before hand and then we count our drawers with him after. He also counts the tip jar in front of everyone and gives everyone their percentages.”

Opal’s jaw dropped and she stared at them in shock. A man came out of the back dressed similarly to Pearl in a black button up and black slacks. While Pearl had black boots, this guy had white sneakers.

“This is Topaz, one of the other waiters,” Pearl said as the guy came up to shake her hand. “This is Opal, Garnet’s replacement.”

The guy lifted an eyebrow. “That’s some pretty big shoes to fill.”

Opal blushed. “I’m just surprised you guys are hiring six months out for that.”

Topaz shook his head. “That’s Diamond being a worry-wart again. If you don’t work out, he wants time to hire someone else.”

“You know,” Opal said, putting her hands on her hips, “for someone who insists everyone go by gem nicknames Diamond is sounding more and more like the perfect boss.”

The other three laughed.

“Pretty much,” Pearl said, “He may be an annoying hipster, but he’s good boss and he’ll take care of you.”

Topaz hip checked Steve. “Unless you’re Garnet, here.”

Steve pushed him playfully. “Shut it, man.”

Topaz laughed. “This idiot accidentally hit on Diamond’s daughter.”

Pearl grinned. “In front of her fiance no less.”

Steve threw his arms in the air. “No one told me who they were. I had been here for like a week. And every signal she was sending me was that she was interested.”

Topaz patted him on the back. “You keep telling yourself that, man.”

Steve shook his head. “Let’s get to work before Diamond comes out and starts yelling at us.”

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Epilogue

Tag List: @artiststarme @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @spectrum-spectre estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @itsall-taken @m-owo-n @zerokrox-blog @runyousillydetective @grimmfitzz @wonderland-girl143-blog @sapphirecobalt-1@scheodingers-muppet @victor-thee-corvid @apricottree @bookbinderbitch @sleepyboosstuff @biatcgh @pixiefallingupthestairs @grtwdsmwhr @thepainisspicy @carlyv @eboyawstenn @bisexualdisastersworld @bidisastersworld @abstractnaturaldisaster

#ladykailtiha writes

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tommyssupercoolblog · 8 months

Note

BIG MAN!!!!!!! QUESTION!!!!!! host is wondering if you have any good miscecanis blog reccs!!!!!! he wants me to ask JUST in case -@ctommyinnit (pssst ping me when you answer)

HEY OTJER TOMMY @ctommyinnit HELLO HELLO!!!!!! Sorry this took so long to answer, I have things HAPPENINGG

In general I suggest just searching "miscecanis" or "a/b/o lifestyle" (since they're the most popular tags here) and looking at some of the recent posts now and again, and then following blogs that consistently catch your eye.

Regaurdless, here (under the cut) are some blogs and the general vibe of their accounts, what to expect, etc, to help out!! (Hopefully)

@beta-adjacent is one of my mutuals and posts a lot of cool a/b/o stuff- they Reblog other unrelated stuff too from time to time.

@omega-floof is great. Lots of worldbuilding-esque posts which is SO FUCKING RAD. Sometimes has nsfw content but in a very like, clinical way?? It's not porn is what I'm saying, nothing is described it's just like "oh and then they breed lol"

I have no idea how to describe @pack-the-pack , but I can say that this account rocks. Just like….just look at it. I'm sure they can do a better summary or someone else can but sometimes I struggle to describe things. LOOK AT IT look

@transiota is also a mutual and is really cool!! They post a lot of alpha and intersex-a/b/o content, the latter being a rlly specific niche haha. they also post unrelated content there, and sometimes post suggestive-ish content too tho I personally have never seen anything completely nsfw. (I could be wrong though). They don't tag their posts either so if you have a trigger or if you want to avoid discourse than tread carefully or just look at their posts when they get reblogged or show up under #misecanis.

@omega-puppy has a neat account, again I'll give a heads up that they post nsfw on their acc a lot, but it's not exclusively nsfw; they have other posts too. We aren't mutuals (they are following me though, hi!!!) but I see them in my notes a lot and tend to reblog a lot of their sfw or close to sfw text posts. From what I've seen I think they're poly/have multiple mates, but if I'm mistaken I'm sure it'll get cleared up in comments/reblogs.

Last but certainly not least, @transalpha-coining . They're inactive nowadays but they have a TON of treasures stored up on that blog if you're willing to scroll through it. Headcanons and flags and explanations of worldbuilding stuff, plus they used to take asks/requests. They even invented words for things, like "kappa" as an omega version of "feminine", which regardless of whether you like the word is definitely a super cool thing to do. They're one of my all-time favorite miscecanis blogs so if you have the patience to look through their old posts, definitely do.

If anyone tagged here wants to correct anything or make any comments, please do!! You can also reblog w more blog recs if u want

#miscelupus #miscecanis #misceanimalis #miscecanis lifestyle #miscefelis #a/b/o lifestyle #omegaverse #omegaverse lifestyle #I made a textpost #Asks

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sugar-omi · 10 months

Note

okay, so i've been doing some thinking. i've been scrolling through your blog and i stepped upon these "cheating on cove with Baxter and the other way around" scenarios. (i'm sorry, i wasn't able to read them, my heart couldn't take it ;-;) but!

what if mc was like, in a normal relationship with Baxter. you know, a couple, maybe married later and stuff, while of course still being besties with Cove. later mc and Baxter have a kid together, maybe still a small baby but! plot twist! Baxter gets into an accident or something and dies. (i'm sorry, he's my favourite man but i had to kill him for that scenario:'))

mc is completely devastated and also a little panicked, because what about the baby? and then Cove stepps in, deciding to help his best friend take care of the little one and basically becomes its father. i recently watched a video of a dog "helping" a cat take care of her kittens, and there you have it.

this one may be boring, so feel free to ignore, but i can't stop thinking about it.

ITS OK<333 I figured some ppl didn't read it bc angst n pain</3 trust me I skip over angst all the time

(I even have the tag blocked😬 sorry angst writers but I will read it and not be the same for months, I read a kiribaku angst fic years ago, and was devesated for 4 months afterwards LMAO)

okay i... I cannot expand too much on this bc OUCH

(eta now that I've finished. who am I fooling? I rlly said that like I haven't wrote a whole novel 💀 anyway <3 this clearly made me pop off more than I thought I would bc I read this at first n was devastated!!! I had no words!!!! well clearly I found them LOL)

ALSO BORING??? ANON PLEASE.. BORING WHERE<///3

n im gonna fix the format later but for now here is the bare minimum. I'm going to bed rn so nini everyone enjoy a bit of angst I promise its fluffy as well<333

tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

p/n = parental name, since I wanted to leave flexibility for all the readers here <3

but anyway yeah cove would so step up for you

will follow you to the end of the earth and do whatever you need to help you work through this and to adapt to this sudden and unfortunate change

if/when your relationship starts becoming something romantic, cove would absolutely put the brakes on everything and you'd go so slow...

I imagine he'd probably move in with you or you with him, and he'd stay somewhere else (if you're living in his house he will leave anyway, he's a gentleman like that fr) so that way you can figure out if it's not just bc he's doing all these things n you're mistaking admiration for love

you'd spend the first year going super slow, as if you've never known each other before

which technically you haven't, since you've never dated before. but cove would go so far as to find out your favorite color, song, animal, food.. all over again, even though he has it memorized and knows your likes better than his own.

once cove is sure you're ready for this (after much talk between the two of you and even with your therapist that yes you've made enough progress and are emotionally ready for this) does he finally put a label on it

now if you get married...

I imagine cove won't propose at all

like I think you'd have to talk n almost beg him...

in that case he would do a small but grande gesture to propose. or he'd propose to you before you've even left the bed for the day... no inbetween

but like 8 times outta 10, you're gonna have to propose to him

he'd cry and hug you n say yes of course.

and unless you want to keep this outta your wedding, I think cove would include baxter in your wedding.

first, ofc you'd have the picture to honor his memory

but I think he'd even go so far as to have smth in his vows. but to start, he'd say smth like:

"I know the reason we became closer was unfortunate, but I'm so happy to be able to call you and [Child] my family. and I hope I can be a good father and husband"

and "baxter will always have a place in our hearts. even though he and I didn't get along at first (watery chuckle)... I'm glad he got to love you, and I hope he trusts me to love and cherish you the same way as well.."

also if you don't want to give up your wedding ring from baxter, I think cove would even go so far as to suggest combining it with his.

!!! omg I was gonna say your and baxter's wedding bands would be black, but I have another idea

okay now, for YOUR bands, I imagine they're either black or silver and yk those infinity(?) bands? that has the 2 types of metal or whatever

that's what cove would suggest doing. and if you are worried abt people asking why your bands are different, he'd get the same twisted band but silver with say a black diamond or smth. just smth to make it look like it's intentionally different colors but same design or smth

(im overthinking a bit but it's an idea right?! I'm not crazy??<////3)

or if you don't wanna do that, I imagine you can just slip it on a necklace or leave it as is, whatever you want. he wouldn't mind even if you kept wearing it, cove would never ask you to get rid of baxter's image or memory in any way, not unless it was a real problem and your attachment to him/his things was unhealthy anyway.

now for baxter's band... well if you didn't bury it with him, I imagine you'd give it to your child

another thing I think you could do w your wedding band as well, and give them both your bands to do whatever they want with. or if they don't want it of course you're not forcing them to keep it

even though they didn't get to know baxter, the way you and cove still cherish baxter's memory does help them feel something of a connection.

I also imagine baxter would take lots of photo n video w the kid, even though they're young n just a babe, theres so many videos of baxter looking n acting so loving w them

and even a couple where he's teary-eyed n all "imma do you right by you. I love you so much.."

of course, if the kid doesn't feel that connected to baxter since they were too young to know or rmbr anything, and they don't feel anything much other than sympathy and the occasional sting when they see how much baxter loved them, you don't force it.

you both know that baxter was basically a stranger to them and even though they still respect baxter and he has a place in their heart, they don't feel like they're lacking anything.

"I don't really know what to say.. or how to feel... I see how much [P/N] misses you sometimes, and we have pictures of you, and they talk about you and stuff...

but I don't feel like im missing a dad. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings, I wish I knew you too. sometimes I wish you were still here, so I got to know you as well, even though I'm still happy to have dad cove for my dad.

I just wanna know what you were like. I wanna experience what you were like. I... I wanna miss you like everyone else misses you too...

anyway, just know that dad is great! he takes care of me and [P/N] really well! he makes breakfast in bed, and he does/used to do this thing where he lifts me in the air before bed! he's so cool. I see how he makes [P/N] happy as well, so don't worry. although, [P/N] said you always thought cove was reliable and a good guy so maybe you aren't worrying anyway.

well... that's it I guess. i hope ill get to know you one day, and maybe you can tell me you're glad to see dad took good care of us. goodbye,

baxter."

pa."

cove happily listens to anything they have to say on how they feel abt baxter btw. he accepts any of their feelings, be it that they don't feel anything at all, sympathy for others, or they feel sad abt losing him.

if they do say smth like how even though it's unfortunate and they feel bad for everyone who mourns baxter (for example/especially you), they see cove as their dad and don't feel like they're missing anything and they're happy to have cove for their dad.

ofc he cries n hugs them n tells them he loves em and he's happy n he comforts them if needed of course

I also think cove is very scared abt being a father

especially in this way... even if the kiddo doesn't remember anything, or it's hazy at best, he worries about replacing baxter.

he'd probably worry abt not living up to baxter

baxter was always much more mature, at least it seemed that way most times. cove just worries about if he has the backbone and the ability to parent the child well and be someone they can look up to and/or appreciate for being a good father

cries if they call him dad btw

if they do it before you start dating, I imagine it's one of the catalyst that cause you to talk abt your feelings for each other. or if it's in the early stage..

cove prbly freezes and runs away to the other room n freaks out, definitely cries. if you don't talk to him like right after he calls his dad n cries n shares his worries n fear

either way, when you do talk he's biting his nails n trying not to pace around the room and he's like "if you wanna distance yourselves so that they don't call me dad any more I totally understand, I mean idk it's prbly weird for you-"

n he just rambles. like none of it makes sense n u have to physically shut him up. kiss him, yell, throw a pillow, hit him w the child's stuffed animal, throw a single lego brick at his back and watch him fall to the floor like he just got a nuke thrown at him

if it's later on n theres nothing to worry abt bc youve talked abt this or saw it coming or its just the otherwise most natural step, he cries of course

but he doesn't fall apart from being his in the back w a single fucking Lego as if it hurt 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (I hate this man he's DRAMATIC)

well... actually no he does

hit him, kiss him, hug him, run him over w a hotel wheels truck.... he just cries harder

adopts them like immediately basically

I imagine you do it soon, like maybe before the wedding just so that way you can have a private moment (just to save him some embarrassment from ugly crying in front of your families. in fact he just might faint fr)

n you + the kiddo surprise him w adoption papers (depending on how old the babe is at this point, they have like no idea what's going on but they know that cove is now officially recognized by the whole world (even by the unicorns n wizards n warlocks) as their daddy))

imagine laying in bed w cove n the kid in between you two

and when you wake up, cove is alrdy awake and was watching you two. he was petting the kids wild hair and he had pulled the two of you in and kept you under his arm..

and the sunlight is coming in, the day is just perfect. n the look on cove's face is full of so much love but also a bit somber this time

(cove feels awkward being here like this sometimes. during times like this you have to remind him it's okay, and you pull him back in. of course he does the same for you on those days.)

"I love you two. so much..." he whispers, tears sticking to his lashes

the kid flips over, curling into cove and they stop their sleepy mumbling now that they're tucked into cove's chest, feeling warm, happy, and safe.

you whisper equally as tender. "we were meant to be like this too."

also!! smth I just thought of...

imagine the kid looks mostly/very much like baxter. they act very much like cove's kid

like you would think cove n baxter had a kid together LOL

(if the resemblance is too much, they ask if you're the step parent </3 pls Ik it may not make sm sense but I just think it'd be so fuckin funny)

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #baxter ward #baxter ward x reader #angst #baxter ward angst #cove holden angst #angst with a happy ending

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caseythebunnyboy · 1 year

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! MINORS, HOMO/TRANSPHOBES, TERFS/RADFEM, PRO-ANA, DETRANS/MISGENDER KINK, STRAIGHT MEN, STRAIGHT WOMEN & LESBIAN ONLY BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT !

!! WARNING !! this blog will contain hardcore kinks. please don't scroll through my blog if you are sensitive to these things, prioritize yourself.

hello, my name is casey! iam an 18 y/o, 5'4, south-east asian trans boy (he/him exclusively) that is going to be running this tumblr blog! im a bottom switch, which means that i prefer to be the one getting penetrated, but i can be both dom and/or sub while doing so.

taken emoji anons: 🗝️ || 🚂 || 🧸 || 🍅 || 👁️ || 🐺 || 🐦 || 🏹 || 🥀 || 🍡 || 🎸 || 👑🖤 ||

what i will be posting: mainly kinky text posts, nsfw art of myself, and sometimes ill show off my body in a nice outfit when im feeling more confident!

rules & info:

if you cross my boundaries 3 times, i will block you, no exceptions. depending on the severity of the crossing, i might block you instantly with no second chances.

if your blog makes me uncomfortable or i get a bad feeling from it, im blocking you.

sexting and roleplaying with me in my dms is allowed, but i will not send photos to you in dms! i dont feel comfortable doing that. so only strictly texting! i am fine with people sending me videos and photos though, but it depends on what you'll send me.

atleast say hi before chatting me, had someone say "worthless cunt" as their first dm and i blocked them lmao, its not hot to me. greeting me first would be nice.

if you are going to sext and/or rp with me, please keep my kink and no-no lists in mind, i have boundaries too.

only those that arent women and arent exclusively attracted to only women are allowed to sext with me. sorry to the women out there who wanted to, but im not attracted to you... but im sure you're still very pretty, and theres many other people who'd want to chat with you!

what to call my genitals: cock, dick, boy cunt, cunt, cunny, boypussy, bunny pussy, wet hole, front hole, little/small/tight hole, needy hole, bunny hole! (please dont call it a vagina, clit or just "pussy" by itself. only calling it a "pussy" without my preferred additions is something i can excuse sometimes, but i dont like it. vagina and clit will get u straight up blocked.)

what to call my chest area: chest. thats it. if you call it tits, boobs, or anything like that i will block you. even if you say "boy tits" or "man boobs" you are still getting blocked. its either you only refer to it as a chest or you never refer to it at all.

inbox and asks are always open! please send me threats of what you'll do to me if you find me, what you want to do to me, and if you got off to anything i post 💜

my kinks: cnc, somno, teacher/student, power imbalance/dynamic, roleplaying, voice kink, degrading and/or praising me, dry humping/grinding, humiliation, free use, gangbang, overstim, edging, orgasm control/denial, impact play, begging, namecalling, pet play, watersports, monsterfucking, tentacles, breeding (no preg, makes me dysphoric), creampie (also no preg, same reason), cum dump, bondage, shibari, being punished, manhandling, size kink, treating me like your toy, making me into a sex slave, being protective/possessive, dumbification, claiming, jealous/angry sex, rough sex, and teasing. (theres prob alot more but theres so many that i forget lol)

kinks that are hard no's: feet, knife/gunplay, feeder/feedee, ed, choking, scat, vomit, age play, misgendering kink, detrans kink, calling me any term mainly used for women (good girl, queen, princess, babygirl, using she/her for me), drug play, bioessentialism, pregnancy, forced feminization, and gore.

things i like being called: baby boy, bunny boy, little bunny, little boy, cunt boy, bunny, bun bun

tags: #casey ★ grumbling for little (often nsfw) text posts/rambles/thoughts that i dont think are interesting enough to be in other tags, #casey ★ mumbling for text posts, #casey ★ answering for ask posts, #casey ★ doodling for drawings, #casey ★ peeking for body pictures, #casey ★ speaking for important announcements/posts, and #casey ★ sharing for reblogs!

also! this is all a fantasy, i do not actually want this to happen to me. consent and safety is very important in kink, sex and bdsm. i do not condone these actions being done unconsensually.

thats all! i hope my blog can make your dicks throb 💜

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sydney-the-faithful · 5 months

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Welcome to my blog!

Hello! I'm Sydney, it's a pleasure to meet you :) I started this account mainly to scroll & look around, but it seems to have been passed around school as a "good way to contact me"? Um. With my busy schedule, I don't post as much as I'd like to, but feel free to send a message!

I'm a library assistant & spend most of my time out-of-school either at the temple, or helping my father with his shop. When I'm able to find free time, I like to hear people discuss books and share aesthetic photo posts on here :) It isn't often, but it's a joy nonetheless. You know what they say, "There's no rest for the pious!" ^^

P.S.: (Because I've been getting asks about it...) Please, don't send me messages complaining about your books being overdue. You know the rules, there's really nothing I can do about it unless you want to get the headmaster involved.

Thanks!

Main Tags for Organization: #sydney_speaks — All of my thoughts in one place! ((1st person POV. In-character responses. Sydney replies/makes the posts.)

#sydney_scenarios — ((3rd person POV. Allows scenarios, highlights in-person rp scenes instead of having Sydney solely communicate through Tumblr. Also, gives a more in-depth view of their thoughts/feelings/actions.))

#personal — About me! Deeper, more interpersonal thoughts & feelings.

#recommended to me — Books, poems, songs & other pieces of media that I've been requested to check out :)

#library inquiries — For those too shy to talk to me in person, I suppose.

#+love — ((+Lust?)) Posts that I find endearing <3

#+corruption — A stockpile of suggestive posts that are sorted for later to be discussed in the confessional. ...Or ignored entirely. #destructive confessions — Categorizes my more... depraved anons? Mostly those who want to be harmed/harm me.

#((ooc)) — ((out of character. Thoughts, ramblings, & account updates from yours truly!))

More out-of-character info under the cut! Please read!

This is a roleplay blog run by @macabrecravings! The character I write for is Sydney the Faithful from Degrees of Lewdity. Please DNI if you are under 18!

Mainly, I run this blog as masc Sydney but absolutely feel free to refer to them as any gender w/ any body parts. Doesn't matter much to me, I'm just here to have a silly time writing for them!

Starting off, I intend to portray faithful Sydney, if y'all end up corrupting them that would be really fun to see :P

You can roleplay in any style! Whether that be plainly asking them questions to answer, sending in full fledged scenarios/traditonal roleplay, etc. I'll gladly take them all and reply as best I can!

Some responses may be ooc, but I'll try my best! This is just a random blog anyway, don't take it too seriously. Not trying to overwrite canon here, LOL.

If I'm uncomfortable with a certain ask, I'll most likely just delete or ignore it! So, be free! Send whatever! You'll never know unless you try :D

*OC/In character interactions are open and encouraged!!

(Last edited: April 3th, 2024.)

#sydney_speaks #sydney_scenarios #personal #recommended to me #library inquiries #+love #+corruption #destructive confessions #((ooc))

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familyabolisher · 1 year

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hi! ive just recently found your blog and i'm reading through some of your old posts, they're excellent (particularly the ones about the relationship between lolita and tlt!) i was wondering if you had an organizational tag for your writing or some other way to find it outside of the infinite scroll?

So I don’t have a proper tag or any kind of organised system going on here (I really do just, like, blurt out some thoughts as and when), but I’ve just spent the morning searching my blog for specifically TLT stuff and here’s what I’ve got:

On Nona and gender and why that book felt significantly More Transgender than the other two

More on Nona and gender (this is largely similar to the above post though tbh)

Sexual violence in Nona (and sexual violence as a throughline throughout TLT)

Reading Lolita as a TLT intertext

Shorter and somewhat clearer summary of the Lolita argument

Reading John and Kiriona’s relationship as functionally incestuous

Brides and bride metaphors and Kiriona/Alecto/Harrow (and an embedded post about Kiriona and her stupid little #gender)

On the Don Quixote references in Gideon

Handful of other posts that may or may not be of interest:

Reading A Streetcar Named Desire as a horror text

Joyce’s ‘This world is enough’ and what it means relative to the rest of Disco Elysium

Literacy and literary criticism as a communist

Lolita and Dante’s Beatrice

Most of my other longish answers to things can be found in /tagged/ask; I haven’t linked them all because the topics are v sporadic and idk what’s interesting or helpful or worth digging up, lol. I also have a bunch of longer posts on like all sorts of topics somewhere in the ether, but again, I don’t have a decent tagging system so I have no idea how to find them!

There’s also my Medium (I used to have a Substack but I deleted it on a whim lol so now all my old essays on like Severance and Disco Elysium and everything else are just floating around on my laptop until I get round to editing & reuploading them), which is pretty bereft at the minute, but you can read me talking in depth about Salò and Lolita over there if you’re interested.

#ask #sorry 2 disappoint but this blog is vvv unorganised #God I Really Should Sort Through My Old Substack Pieces. after i finish salolita essay.

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jasntodds · 1 year

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Caving In [3]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 7,023

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, hurt/comfort, a nightmare, flirting, fluff, jason and reader trauma-bonding, talks of abuse (it’s not super detailed), mentions of food being withheld, gar feels like his trauma isn’t “enough” (unrelated to the trauma-bonding), mentions of death, mentions of drug addiction, mentions of bruises

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: So, this is the chapter where I decided to change who the fic was about because I mean hi lol so this chapter is Jason heavy 😂 I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The movie came to a close twenty minutes ago, Rachel already off to her room to get some sleep but Gar and Jason are still in the living room with you asleep. Gar doesn’t want to move you, he’s never been a big fan of waking people up when they’re asleep, especially when it’s obvious they haven’t slept very much. On top of that though, he’s not sure if waking you up would scare you and then you’d burn him or something. So, he figures it might be best to just let you sleep. Jason volunteered to hang out with him for a little bit anyway.

Jason looks over and his eyes just land on you. You look peaceful and kind of nice when you’re not being a snarky bitch to him. Though, he does kind of give as good as he gets not that he’d ever admit that of course. And maybe he likes that you actually have a bit of fire in your words when you talk to him. Gar and Rachel normally brush off his mean and sarcastic comments and Dick can never be bothered. You though, you play along and maybe he thinks it’s a little fun.

“Why are you staring at her, dude? It’s weird.” Gar looks away from his phone to look at Jason.

Jason shakes his head, grabbing his own phone to scroll through Twitter. “I wasn’t staring.” He mutters, his cheeks turning a bright red.

“Yeah, you were.” Gar insists. “Don’t make it weird, she’s nice and it’s cool to have someone new around.”

“I’m not making it fucking weird, man.” Jason sighs before he looks back over, glancing between Gar and you. “You gonna go for it though?” Jason raises his brows with the question, choosing to deflect.

Gar’s eyes narrow in disbelief. “I just said don’t make it weird.” Gar’s voice goes up an octave with his words. “She’s been here a day.”

Jason chuckles more to himself than at Gar. “I’m just trying to figure out the rules. You’re my friend and I don’t wanna overstep, man.” He has this grin that absolutely says he will overstep if not told otherwise.

Gar’s forehead wrinkles with Jason’s words and if it were anyone else, maybe he’d be surprised by how fast he wants this move but it’s Jason. The same guy who uses 420 and 69 (or both together) as passcodes so Gar can’t actually be too surprised. And Gar also knows that if he doesn’t answer Jason, Jason is going to do what he wants. He’s an asshole, sure, but he’s not a half-bad friend, actually.

“I don’t know.” Gar shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes. “I haven’t thought about it.”

Jason hums. “So, I can go for it then? If I want?” Jason asks and then quickly follows up with more. “Not that I do, I’m just asking.”

“Right.” Gar deadpans and you aren’t an article of clothing they’re swapping because it’s nice or something.

You’re a living breathing human being who has the right to make your own decisions. Of course, Gar knows that’s not what Jason is getting at during this or anything. He’s asking if he can flirt or try to actually get with you if you’re interested but it doesn’t make Gar feel any better. You’ve been here a day and maybe Gar just wants you to settle in before Jason jumps down your throat about it. And, to be completely fair, Gar does think you’re very pretty but he actually wants to take the time to get know you before he decides if he’d even be interested. He’s just here having fun learning to be a Titan.

“Maybe we just let her come to us if she’s interested.” Gar proposes, a partial way to get Jason to drop it. “After, she actually gets settled.”

“Hey,” Jason defends himself, but his voice is still quieter than it normally is. “It’s just a question, she seemed to be comfortable around you is all.” Jason glances to you once more before going back to his phone. “Obviously.”

“Can we drop this? She is right here.” Gar slightly shifts in his seat, not enough to wake up you.

“She’s asleep.” Jason scoffs before looking back at Gar who just looks annoyed. “Alright, damn chill out. I’ll leave her alone for a while.”

Gar nods, not having anything else to add on the topic and Jason drops it. The boys go back to their phones and have some conversation here and there about Twitter threads and TikToks they find. Nothing substantial really comes from any of it but both of them enjoy the time. Gar actually likes hanging out with Jason like this, he hasn’t had a best friend in a long time and this feels normal to him. Turning into a tiger usually makes him feel a little freakish, especially after spending so much time at Doom Manor where they were pretty much described as freaks. It was hurtful, he just wants to be normal and having movie nights with Jason and Rachel feels normal.

It doesn’t matter how much trauma any of them have when there’s a movie on and they’re just hanging out. It’s just them and when it’s him and Jason, that’s all there is. Normalcy. Even with you, a new girl, sleeping on him. In a way, it even feels a little comforting with you laying your head on him because he’s not a scary tiger. He’s just a boy.

After another half hour, Jason leaves Gar to head to the training room. Gar tried to convince him to go to bed but Jason doesn’t listen to anyone so now it’s just Gar and you. He’s getting tired himself and he’s heavily debating on waking you up so he can go in his own bed. But, the debate doesn’t last long because suddenly, you shoot off of his shoulder, heaving for air. You sit forward, eyes wide as Gar slightly jerks away from you as a reflex.

“Are…are you okay?” He asks, leaning back over and forward to get a look at your face.

You suck in a breath, your chest heaving with every breath and your heart pounding. You barely even comprehend you’re still in the living room when Gar asks you the question. All you can do is nod and try to breathe. This is really going to be your life now? Tortured in reality by a psychopath and now tortured in a dream state by the same fucking psychopath? How the fuck is that fair? You finally escaped only to be haunted by your dreams in a place you actually kind of, sort of, feel safe in.

“Nightmare?” Gar asks, not moving from his position.

You turn your head to the right to look over your shoulder back at Gar. “Y-yeah.” You nod softly before looking forward, shaking your head. “Sorry.”

Gar’s brows furrow. “For what?”

“Uh…” No one’s asked you what you’re sorry for before. You’re always supposed to be sorry for either getting angry or upset or having a smart-ass comment. There’s always something you’re supposed to apologize for. “Falling asleep, falling asleep on you….” You pause. “Nightmare.”

“You,” Gar leans forward some more, a little closer to you to try and offer you comfort in the only way he knows how. “You don’t have to be sorry for any of that. It’s okay.”

You glance over at him and the way he looks at you make you feel like porcelain. Fragile and weak. It’s not a feeling you like very much. But his eyes are warm and kind, so kind that they make you want to tell him your whole life story without ever coming up for a breath of fresh air. And it makes you feel warm.

“Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps.” Gar offers with a welcoming but small smile.

You look over to him again, your eyes dodging his this time. You can feel the flame in your belly flickering, it wants to go out so bad. It’s been wanting to go out the last few months, the last few months you were held. At the beginning, it was bonfire in your stomach. The second even a drop of gasoline were to land, it would all blow. But the gasoline never dripped or spilled. It sat in the corner and taunted you and the flame died down. And you’re so tired of it.

You want the fight back and maybe talking about it would help you feel better but you don’t want to feel better. You want to be pissed and angry and furious and you want the fucking fire back so you can hunt the bastard down yourself. But then you look at Gar again and he’s soft. It’s like you’re this tea light and he’s a glass lamp over you. Not burning out the flame but keeping it going just enough to function.

“Um…” You pause, leaning back against the couch. “It’s just….uh…i-it’s like I’m back there again.” You admit. “A-and he-he’s right there.” You stutter while Gar watches. “J-just f-fucking taunting me, k-knowing I-I can’t do anything. Fuck.” You swallow hard, not even realizing you were practically holding your breath.

Gar turns in his spot so he can better face you, never moving away from you. “What happened?” Gar asks calmly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Gar adds on, never wanting you to feel pressured about it.

You hang your head, then shake it. He’s going to give you the look. The pitiful look you got when your mom died. It’s the same look everyone always gives, you’re guilty of giving the look, too but it makes you shift and it make you feel uneasy. You get it, feeling bad for people who experience trauma. It’s natural but you don’t find it comforting and maybe you would find it easier if he had something snarky to say. Make it easier with humor, it’s what you do anyway.

“W-what’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone go through?” You ask, pulling the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands.

Gar sighs, thinking about it but he didn’t think very long before he starts talking, thinking maybe if you know what he’s seen and heard, it’ll make you trust him enough to talk to him. “Rachel, probably.” He answers honestly. “Her mom, who wasn’t her real mom, was shot in front of her. Then, she was locked away,” Gar says. “Only for a few hours but locked away for her powers.” He adds in. “Then,” He pauses and your brows go up in surprise. “We found her real mom who convinced her to bring in her demon dad to save my life. He possessed all of our friends and then got them to almost beat me to death in front of her.” Gar lists, reliving all of it in quick images. “Trigon,” You look at him quizzically. “Demon dad.” Gar clarifies. “Killed her real mom and then Rachel killed him.”

You sit there for a second and you really thought you had it bad. Of course, what you went through was still terrible but you do not want to play trauma Olympics with Rachel that’s for damn sure. But, Rachel seems okay, weirdly enough. You aren’t sure how long ago all of that was but Rachel does seem okay and even happy which gives you the one thing you haven’t had in months. Hope.

“Well…okay.” You nod slowly, taking in the information.

“Oh!” Gar says, remembering to add more. “We were also being chased by people who were trying to kill her because of her powers.” Gar lets out a breath, his nonchalant add-in almost makes you laugh. What the fuck?

You blink a few times. “I….I don’t even know what to say to all of that.”

“Yeah,” Gar chuckles softly. “It was pretty crazy.”

“No fucking shit.” You laugh softly. “That’s fucked up.”

Gar nods. “Yeah, but she’s okay now.” Gar assures you.

“She seems to like it. This place help?” Your eyes glance to your hands and then back to Gar.

Gar nods once more. “Yeah,” He shrugs a shoulder. “I think it does.”

It’s helped him a little bit. But, he doesn’t think his trauma is worth talking about. It’s not as bad as Rachel’s or yours. It was a disease, sure his was different, but it was a disease and people get diseases all the time. Some people live and some people die because that’s how it works. He turns into a green tiger but is that really trauma? In the grand scheme of the conversation? Gar doesn't really think so. So, he keeps the idea of the Tower and the people helping him cope to himself.

“I-it was just…hell.” You suck in a breath, deciding to tell him a little bit. “I was there for a while and this,” You gesture over your face. “Was pretty normal.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I-I, uh, I-I thought he was gonna…kill me for a while.” You swallow. “I think he wanted to.”

“I’m sorry.” Gar’s brows knit together with sympathy and there’s the look.

You can’t handle the look, not from him. Clearly, he’s seen and heard a lot but now maybe you don’t want to burden him with your shit. He’s been through his own and clearly knows Rachel’s, you can only assume he knows some of Jason’s shit, whatever it is. To you, Gar seems like the person everyone goes to with their problems and you don’t want to stick that burden on him. Not with eyes as caring and gentle as his. It breaks your heart to even be sitting here telling him anything. So, you quit.

“Um…” You shake your head “I’m sorry, I don’t wanna talk about it.” You shut down and Gar just nods.

“It’s okay.” Gar assures you as you get up from the couch.

“I’m…I’m gonna walk.” You fake a smile at him. “Clear my head. Thanks for letting me sleep, Gar.”

“If you need to talk, you can talk to me.” Gar stands up with you, worried he overstepped. “I didn’t mean to--”

“No.” You cut him off quickly. “You didn’t…it’s not like that. I….just. It’s so fucking fresh and you….” You suck your teeth, brows furrowing together as if you’re in pain. “You make me feel normal and I don’t wanna ruin that.” You divert your eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry…thank you.” You look back up at him before turning on your heels and head into the left hallway, disappearing into the shadows.

Gar watches you disappear, kicking himself. He thinks he made it worse. He’s just trying to be there for you but he’s slowly figuring out that that’s not something you want. Not in the talking about-it way, anyway. It’s like you just want to be distracted from it all which Gar can’t blame you for. He can only really imagine what happened from his and Jason’s little bit of research and what information you did give him. His heart aches for you but he’ll never push you to tell him anything. Instead, he goes to his room but he leaves the door cracked just in case you change your mind.

You find yourself wandering the halls until you reach the training room. There you find Jason back at the punching bag. You pull out the phone Dick gave you earlier today and it’s three in the morning. Suddenly, you feel even worse about falling asleep on Gar given how late it is. But, you choose not to focus on the guilt in your stomach and instead on Jason. You stand in the doorway, confused why he would train at this hour. Is he insane?

“Do you ever stop training?” You ask, arms crossed as you’re leaning against one of the sliding doors.

Jason jumps, spinning around quickly. “Fuck, how long have you been standing there?” Jason almost yells at you.

You snicker with a shrug. “Few seconds.”

“What do you want?” He asks and he’s as snarky as ever which makes you happy. It’s like he treats you normally. Not that the others don’t but you can tell it’s like they’re tip-toeing but Jason doesn’t.

You walk in just a few feet, looking around before looking back at Jason. “Was just walking around.”

“That’s fucking weird.”

Jason didn’t expect to see you for the rest of the night. He kind of figured if you woke up, you’d just go to your room, not walk around. Or maybe, you’d be with Gar but you’re here in the training room with him. And maybe despite the snarkiness, he wants you to stay. Maybe the comments will make you want to stay, for entertainment. You seem to like the challenge.

“You’re the one punching a bag at three in the fucking morning. You’re being weird, dude.” You snark with the raise of your brows and Jason deadpans before returning to the bag.

You watch him a little longer and this is your opportunity to ask him to help you. No one else is here and you can only assume Gar went to bed so it’s just you two. He’s clearly dedicated so maybe he’ll want to help anyway. If not, you figure you’ll just hold the little bet over his head.

You close the distance, walking over toward the punching bag. “You’re so….”

“Charming?” Jason glances at you as he punches the bag. “Amazing?” He punches again. “Hot?” He flashes a cocky grin and you sigh.

“I was gonna say snippy, actually.”

“You’re fucking annoying you know that?” Jason snarks.

“Mmm.” You click your tongue a grin pulling at your lips as you point a finger at him. “There it is.”

“Seriously, what do you want?” Jason stops, facing you with annoyance.

“Train me, Dick said I’m not ready.” You hold your head up, crossing your arms across your chest.

Jason pauses, the question catching him off guard. You don’t actually look like you’re in any condition to train, not that Jason really ever agrees with Dick. Bruce doesn’t think he should be Robin but Jason knows he’s ready to get back to it so in a way, Jason understands why you’re asking. Feeling ready, but the adults want to think they know what’s best. It’s shitty. But Jason likes a good fight.

“What happened to you?” The snarkiness leaves his voice as he nods his head up at you and you’re taken aback. Jason, not asking a snarky question? Now, that’s weird.

“Why do you wanna know?” Your voice is level, eyes slight narrowed.

Jason pauses. He’s actually just curious. He knows his motive for wanting to train harder and better and faster than everyone else but what’s yours? Unless yours is going after whoever did whatever it was to you. But now you have powers so you could just take them out with those. You don’t need the combat, really. Jason just wants to know and maybe he has a little more stake in it. He does care about it, even though he acts like he doesn’t. He’s not completely heartless. Plus, maybe it’ll give him bonus points.

“Curious.” Jason shrugs, eyes glancing from your socks to your face.

“You just wanna see all the trauma?” You raise and Jason shrugs, his brows raising quickly as if to be saying ‘why not’ and his nonchalant attitude with the mix of snark gives you enough reason to challenge him a little but take the risk in having to spill. You take a few steps towards him. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” You close the small distance between you standing just an inch away from him. Jason’s breath hitches in his throat for just a second as he looks to you. The look in your eyes sends a shiver down his spine and he’s ready to play the game.

“Asked you first.” Jason doesn’t move from his stance, instead he holds still, looking at you with his eyes locked on yours and he sees a grin coming to your face.

“Alright,” You take one step back. “But don’t make it all emotional or some shit.” You plop down on the floor in front of him, sitting with your legs crossed, Jason taking a breath finally.

He said he wouldn’t. He told Gar he’d leave you alone for a little while but what is he supposed to do when you initiate it? Jason is not gonna back down from that. And, he thinks it’s fun. You play the game and lean into the challenge instead of backing away. It’s only when Jason goes to play, too that you switch it up like a game of cat and mouse. It’s thrilling a little.

Jason chuckles but follows your lead. “You always sit on the floor?”

“You always in here?” You quip.

“Shut up.” Jason shakes his head but a smile still tugs at his lips. “So, spill your guts.”

“It’s not getting that deep, bud.” You scoff but match the smile.

This is what you were thinking when talking to Gar. Gar makes it feel vulnerable, talking about it. That’s not how you want to feel about it. You want to feel strong and fiery. It’s not Gar’s fault, you can tell it’s because he just really, truly cares and feels bad about whatever it is. But, Jason, it’s like he cares but only out of curiosity not because he’s trying to save you or help you.

“Mom was killed by the Joker,” You start, gauging Jason’s face as you talk. “Dad’s a meth addict, a great parental figure obviously.” You say sarcastically. “Went into foster care, Jerry.” You grimace with his name and you try to dodge the feeling of agony and fear when you say his name. “Was my foster dad if you can even call him that.” You scoff. “He wanted to make superhumans. He used me as a test subject, I think for himself to see if anything would work. I had so many things injected I lost count over the year. He kept me chained in a basement and because none of that was quite bad enough, the fucker decided to beat me, too when I didn’t show signs of powers. He’d withhold food, all that shit. I survived mostly off of chicken noodle soup. He beat me so bad, I guess he thought I was dead and dumped in an alley and now I’m here.” You keep your voice nonchalant and steady, listing off your past like some recap of a sitcom.

Jason keeps his eyes on you and he doesn’t know what to say. It’s rare to get him speechless but here he is, without a single word in his head. How is he even supposed to respond to that? It just sounds terrible and horrifying.

“How long did he keep you like that?” He settles on the question, knowing talking about the events in Gotham is a sore spot for him.

“A year, I think. Lost track a bit.” You answer with a shrug, silently begging him to have something snarky or sarcastic to say because now it’s all too real and you wish you could turn back the clock and not say anything.

“That’s fucked up. He’d just experiment on you and fucked you up cause he could?” Jason asks as if not really believe what he’s hearing. People are terrible.

“Mhm.” You hum.

“Fuck that guy, he’s a piece of fucking shit, alright?" There’s a fury in his voice this time and it makes you smile just a little bit. He’s not sorry, he just thinks Jerry is a shitty person.

“No shit.” You huff.

“It worked though, he gave you powers. Why the fuck wouldn’t you have used them?” Jason’s expression changes to confusion. “I’m not blaming you.” Jason defends his words, feeling like it might have come off a bit like victim blaming. “I’m just curious.”

“I was afraid he’d kill me knowing that it worked. I…uh, I learned how to stay calm when he’d come at me so I pissed him off really bad a few days ago. The calmer I was, the more angry he’d get.”

“You got him to do that to you on purpose?” Jason practically yells.

He’s not sure what he expected, really. He kind of just thought it got too bad one day. It lead you to that alley. He didn’t think you actually got someone to do that to you.

You nod, a feeling of shame taking over. “I couldn’t escape any other way. I knew if I could piss him off really really bad, he’d come at me like never before. I could pretend like he killed me or put me into a coma, caused a massive brain bleed, ya know? Something, he would dump me somewhere. It was that or he was gonna kill anyway.” You pause. “Backfired a little, he did come back and I guess thought throwing a few more punches would wake me up.”

“You just played dead the whole time?” There’s a pain in Jason’s voice and he thought this could turn into something of fun, quick-witted jokey conversation but he just feels like you kicked off a cliff.

“Oh, no, I was actually knocked unconscious most of the time while all of it was going on.” You nod casually.

“Fuck.” Jason lets out a breath before continuing. “That’s kind of badass though.” Jason states giving you a grin, you shaking your head and jerking backward in confusion. “You just took him beating the fuck outta you. That’s fucking crazy.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, dude’s got a hell of an arm and a kick, a-fucking-parently.” Jason’s brows raise as if to be asking for context. “Found more bruises when I showed today, got a nice boot print on my back.” A scoff leaves the back of your throat.

“Fuck that guy, alright?” Jason says, growing angry at the conversation. Who does that to someone for no reason? He kicks ass every night in Gotham as Robin but those people deserve it. What did you ever do to this guy who was supposed to protect you and keep you safe? It’s not right. “He’s a piece of shit and you didn’t deserve that shit. I'll hunt the monster down for you if I have to.”

You furrow your brows. “That’s a kind offer.”

“I’m fucking Robin!” Jason tosses his hands out, gesturing into his chest and outward again. “It’s my job to hunt those dickweeds down!”

You let out a genuine laugh. He is pretty funny actually and he’s not the Robin that let the Joker kill your mom. You actually think Jason would kill the bad guys if he were allowed to. “Mhm.” You hum. “Which is why you’re the best Robin.”

“You think so?” Jason asks, the joy in his voice makes you giggle. “I know I am but Dick and Bruce...” He pauses for a second. “They don’t think so.”

“Well, Dick and Bruce don’t know shit.” You hold your head up high, and you truly think Jason is the better Robin. You’ve seen the YouTube videos.

“Thanks.” Jason offers a sincere smile. “That why you wanna train? Hunt him down yourself kind of deal?”

“Yeah, if I ever see the piece of shit I don’t wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing it worked. I wanna beat the fuck with my bare fucking hands like he did to me.” There it is, the fire you’ve been looking for. You want him to suffer at your own hands. No one else, just you and him and you want to watch everything he worked for crash around him. You want him to be bloody and bruised and beaten like you have been for a year.

“Good, he fucking deserves it. Dick will probably hunt him down if you tell him.” Jason informs you. “He used to be a detective and he worked a lot of cases with shitty parents. I think he went out as Robin and kicked their asses.”

You smile. “Good, people who beat kids deserve what’s coming.” You laugh softly, stretching your legs out beside Jason’s and leaning back on your hands. “Your turn.”

Jason nods, pulling the leg furthest from you up so his foot is on the floor and his knee is bent while he leans back on his hands. “Dad was killed by Two-Face, mom’s a smack addict, uncle drank himself to death.” Jason rambles off as if it were nothing and your eyes squint for just a second. You’re nonchalant because it’s easier that way. Is it easier for him to be like this, too? “Gotham, right?” Jason scoffs, looks down and away from you.

“Special kind of fucked up there.” You say, not looking away from him. “I’m really sorry.” You say, your heart aching for him, something you didn’t really expect given the banter between you. “How’d you get here then?” You ask, instead of asking for details about those he lost knowing you don’t like to talk about it and assuming he probably doesn’t either.

“Caught stealing the hubcaps off the Batmobile.” Jason chuckles, his cocky grin back on his face as he looks to you, clearly proud of himself. He expects you to be impressed with his courage to steal from Batman of all people. But that’s not what your face is telling him.

Your eyes narrow and then you look up before squeezing the bridge of your nose. “Hubcaps.” Your voice is exasperated, eyes closed before looking back at him. “Fuck.”

Jason laughs, knowing what the expression is now. “What? You robbing cars?” He shakes his head. “Nah, you gotta get the hubcaps, more likely to get money from that. Less likely to get caught, too.”

“Fuck you. You got caught, too!” You glare at him.

“Because it was the fucking Batmobile.” Jason tilts his head back with a laugh. “He didn’t wanna press charges, instead, he took me in.”

“Oh, to have been so lucky.” You snark with the roll of your eyes.

“Yeah…” Jason sucks in a breath. “Sorry.”

“Nah,” You scoff with a smile. “I wish I would have been smart enough to rob the Batmobile!”

“Everyone says it was dumb.” Jason scoffs.

Bruce said it was dumb, the cop said it was dumb, Dick, Gar, Alfred, everyone but every single one of them completely neglect the need to survive. Jason's been in and out of the system his entire life. He got lucky that he didn't end up like you in all of the time he was in the system. It was lucky. He lived on the streets, no job, no GED, no diploma, he had nothing. Stealing the hubcaps off cars was how he got money for food. The Batmobile? He knew he'd get more money for it. No one wants to talk about why he did it, just that it was "dumb".

“Well, you got to move in with Batman and even if you succeeded, you would have gotten money. That’s a win-win.” You give him a smile and a laugh because you really wish you would have done it. You get it, you’re the one who gets it.

“What I said!” Jason defends.

“So, that it? Parents and guardians suck?” You pause. “So…why're you here then? I think you're a great Robin, seems a bit weird you're here." You question because you want to know what he did. If stealing hubcaps wasn't Bruce's red flag, what was it?

Jason’s face grows something sad and you’re watching, not sure what he would be sad about. He seems so happy about being Robin. What is there to be sad about? Dick said Bruce wasn’t the best, but was it that bad? Is the guy who dresses up as Batman every night actually a horrible person? Is it all just a show?

“He’s making me take a break.” Jason looks to the ground, his face settling somewhere between annoyed and sad.

You nod. “Ah, what’d ya do?”

“Well,” Jason sighs, running a hand through his hair. “There was the joyrides in the Batmobile and then riding a motorcycle in the manor.”

“I-you…I don’t know what to unpack first. Batmobile or the motorcycle. Why? For both, I guess?” You question.

Why would he risk that? Getting thrown back to the streets or worse? You run the questions through your head but you don't need to ask him because you know. It's what he does. It's what you do. You’re asking Jason to go behind Dick's back, knowing that Dick doesn't have to let you stay. It's a risk and sometimes the risk is worth it. Maybe it's genetic, to be some sort of fuck up. Or, in this case, maybe it's just environmental.

Jason shrugs. “Seemed fun, I guess.”

“You know what I think.” You point a finger at him and Jason deadpans but gestures a hand out for you to proceed. “I think he doesn’t give you enough attention.”

“You a fucking shrink now?”

“Fuck no.” You chortle. “Just an observation. Seems like you like a lot of attention.”

"And why the fuck do you think that?"

"You're a smart-ass." You chuckle as if it should have been obvious. "The risks you take, the fact everyone has something to say about you tells me you intentionally start the shit so they do talk about you. Talking about you in any context is better than being forgotten." You explain and Jason just watches you growing annoyed. He thinks he's so hard to figure out but you have him pegged in five minutes.

"Fuck you." Jason huffs. He does not like being analyzed.

"No one wants to be forgotten." Your voice is quiet and the annoyance suddenly leaves Jason with your tone. You notice the way he looks at you, not with sympathy or pity but with a genuine understanding and you deflect. "And if you keep saying fuck you, I might take you up on it." You wiggle your brows at him and Jason's jaw opens slightly, feeling as if he's just gotten whiplash.

He can play this game. He won't let you get one over on him. This is Jason's game to play and win.

"Fuck. You." Jason taunts you, leaning forward slightly.

You think it's funny. You’re just messing with him but the way he doesn't even bat an eye at it, it energizes your blood in every way. Talking and messing with Jason makes you feel so normal. He doesn't do that little dance thing that Gar does, where he's so worried about stepping on your feelings. Jason just blurts shit out and calls your bluff. It's fun.

"Tell me how you really feel." You challenge him.

Jason wants to go there because he doesn't think you'll commit to it. Maybe you'll pull away or laugh but he'll have won because he didn't back down first. It's like this silent game you're playing and Jason can't tell who the ringmaster is. He swears up and down it's him, but you take the challenge and maybe he's a little worried you'll win.

You make him feel....not useless right now. He has felt useless since being sent here. Dick didn't want him to stick around and help but he kept Rachel and Gar around. He couldn't stop Trigon, he never even stood a chance. But, with you, you don't know any of that shit. It's just you two with no expectations of anything. It's the two of you and your trauma bonding and this little game. He wants it to be a long game though, drag it out and see who wins then.

"I don't think you like attention." Jason states, your brows furrowing and you didn't expect him to be the one to back down.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re awake when no one else is. You choose Gar to hang out with. I'm guessing you did a lot of the crime at night and not just because it was easier. It's Gotham, day crime is also pretty fucking easy. Guessing you haven't told anyone else what happened because you don't want them to look at you.” Jason explains in the same way you did but this time, with a bit more bite in his voice.

You shake your head, a smile tugging at your lips. Maybe you’re also a bit transparent around him. “Mmm who’s the wanna-be shrink now?”

“Fuck off.” Jason chuckles. “Have you told anyone else? About what happened to you?”

You shake your head. “No, uh…” You furrow your brows, shaking your head once more. “I almost told Gar but….he makes it….too…”

“Real?”

“Yeah and vulnerable. Dick’s too serious about it and I haven’t talked much to Rachel. You always have a smartass comment though. Makes it feel more like a joke. And....we have Gotham in common, ya know?”

Jason nods with understanding. He doesn’t really like talking about any of it either. None of it really. It’s why he always says it so nonchalantly. It’s easier to brush it all off than boil in the feelings of sadness and regret. It’ll eat him alive if he thinks too much about it.

“Yeah, you make it easier, too.”

“Was that something nice you just said?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jason groans. He nods his head up at you quickly. “How bad are the bruises?” You raise one brow at him. “I’m not a complete fucking asshole, alright? I don’t actually want you to get hurt.”

He’s thinking of caving. He gets you and you get him. Jason doesn’t have confidence about where this will go by any means but he’s confident he can trust you. If it were Jason, he’d never fucking quit if he were told he couldn’t train. He’d be training recklessly if he had to. You, at least had the brains to come and ask him for help. You’re not dumb, you’re desperate and Jason gets it. But he doesn’t want to contribute to your injuries if they’re that bad.

You think for a few seconds. They’re not great. Most of them are a deeper shades which means they’re further away from healing but you have a few older ones that have turned lighter in color. You know those aren’t the ones him and Dick are concerned about. And you could lie to him, it’s not like he’s going to pin you down and check for himself. But that doesn’t really feel right. Especially with him being nice to you and honest.

“What’s your definition of bad?” You ask, just trying to see how well you need to answer his question.

“Do they hurt?” Jason asks, not sure how to answer it.

“Well, yeah they’re bruises.”

“You know what I mean.” Jason groans.

“Yeah, they hurt. Like walking kind of hurts and bending certain ways hurts.”

“And you wanna fucking train and make it worse?”

“Do you ever rest? If you get hurt being Robin, do you rest or do you train?”

“Fine.” Jason groans, knowing he’s lost the battle. “But you know you’re not gonna run into the guy this week, right? The tower is secure so you don’t have shit to worry about.”

Jason caves. Training helps him deal with the bullshit. It makes him feel like he has a purpose. Being Robin is the one thing he does really well and it makes him feel like he belongs somewhere, something he’s never felt before. All the bullshit that happened before, it doesn’t matter when he’s Robin and when he’s training. He wants to give that to you.

“I know but I wanna be prepared. I wasn’t prepared last time.” You answer honestly. You will never let anyone do that to you again.

“You’re fucking crazy, ya know?” Jason chuckles softly.

“So are you, bud.” You get up. “Well, good talk. Lots of trauma bonding, but I’m gonna try to go tot bed.” You opt to end the conversation just in case he changes his mind but you’re a little disappointed. You do enjoy talking to him. Just like this.

Jason pauses for a second, looking up at you. You’re a human person and you have similarities in your traumas. It’s a little refreshing in a fucked up kind of way. No one else really gets it because it’s different, having a parent actively abandon you is different than dying. In a way, Jason thinks it’s worse. His mom picked drugs over him. He wasn’t good enough to love, by his own mother, and the only one who’d actually get that here is you. But, he knows that you might also benefit from actually talking about it with someone who can offer some actual support about it. It did help when he talked to Gar about it once.

“You should talk to Gar.” Jason says from the floor as you were on your way out.

“About?” You turn to look at him.

“What happened to you.” Jason gets up from the floor.

“Why?” You think it’s a bit weird to bring that up and now. You both just said it’s weird making it feel vulnerable and real.

Jason shrugs. “Might help, dealing with it.” He sucks in a breath as if it’s hard for him to even say. He hates talking about it but Gar will just listen. He’s the one person Jason has actually had a heart-to-heart to about it.

“Afraid I might…break him.” You laugh softly. “Ya know? Like he’s already seen some bad shit and he is…. unfathomably kind. I don’t wanna ruin him.”

Jason huffs but there’s a smile peaking onto his face. “He looks at the ligature marks on your wrists whenever you’re not tugging on your sleeves. Whatever he’s imagining happened to you is always going to be worse than what actually happened.” Jason says, his voice a bit flat and you can see this is a struggle for him to say and you wonder why.

“Like in horror movies. Choosing not to show the violence because what we imagine will always be scarier.”

“Yeah, I’m just saying, he’s a good listener if you just wanna be pissed about it.” Jason chuckles. “He’ll let you bitch about it.”

You smile at him and shake your head. Everyone here wants to talk so much shit about him which hey, maybe he deserves usually. But, you see through his bullshit because you do the same shit. It’s not cold-hearted, it’s a coping mechanism. A way to protect yourselves from getting hurt again. You get him, you get it and it makes you happy because he gets you, too.

“You’re not so bad, Jason Todd.” There's a genuine sweetness to your eyes as you say it and Jason doesn't believe it.

“I am the best.” He opens his arms, palms up, the arrogant smile beaming.

You roll your eyes, feeling bubbles and butterflies in your stomach. “Yeah, sure, goodnight, Jason.” You emphasis his name as you turn to leave and it sends Jason’s heart spinning.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” His voice is actually kind as he watches you leave.

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actualbird · 9 months

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pardon me! I wanted to try the game tears of thermos, but I’m a little nervous since I don’t play these type of games. Do you have any advice on how to best enjoy myself and invest in its world/characters?

hi anon!!! im so glad you wanna try out tot!!! i do have some tips, but before i go there i must inform you that autocorrect mustve done something to your message because you said tears of thermos and i cldnt rest until i edited a meme of that

sjfhavkkHJVKJHJKSD OKAY ANYWAY, TIPS!!!!

im particularly interested in how you worded this ask!! ive had a lot of people ask me tips on how to start tot (and the relevant ones, i'll link in this ask too) but never on a narrative investment/immersion angle. so my tips for this will be a bit different

but before that, here are my past tips from my tot tips tag

general tips for a newbie (gameplay tips and story tips)

how to "predict" upcoming events

tot stories in chronological order (only updated til july 2022)

now for your question i guess my biggest tip would really just be to treat tears of themis like a visual novel that just so happens to update with more stories.

idk how much of a newbie you are to this genre, but when i got into this game i had NEVER played any other otome before in my life. so it was all new to me!! and i basically treated it like an updating visual novel, this is My Method, and that got me quite invested (as is obvious from my entire blog). so when i say "treat it like a visual novel" i mean:

im personally not particularly a card completionist or a gacha enthusiast. which, hell yeah, this game wont bankrupt me LOL. but also, since cards are the main way where new nxx boy stories are released through, for any card i dont have, i just watch it on youtube. because basically every card, event plot, minigame, etc gets uploaded by someone a little bit after its release. so if youre bummed you missed an event card but you dont really Want the card, you just want its story, just search it on youtube!! search [card name/event name] + [whichever language dub you prefer] + tears of themis and voila! new story for you to read!!!

if you want plot = read Main Story. this is where all the heavy main plot happens and it is SO GRIPPING AND RIVETING.

if you want character development and relationship development between mc and each boy = read Personal Story Bloom Chapter, and then the respective nxx boy's Anniversary 1 card, Personal Story Sweet Chapter 1 and 2, and then the respective nxx boy's Anniversary 2 card. the personal story routes (aka the routes where mc eventually ends up with the boy romantically) are where a BULK of characterization and character development happens, imo

if you want romance and oneshot dates = explore the available cards!!! the tot wiki has an archive of all the available cards per boy on each of the characters' main pages. for example, here's luke's page. scroll down to the cards section and Behold. Luke Stories As Far As The Eye Can See

these pages dont have the story transcribed in them, but theyre great to use as a directory or a map of cards. so if any of the cards catch your eye, then take urself to youtube to find the card and voila (again)! new story for u to experience!

(note: SSRs always have a full 6 act story. SRs either have a 6 act story that is unvoiced, OR 2 voice messages. MRs always have 2 voice messages. R cards have no story and no voice messages)

if you want nxx team dynamics = read and/or play the events!!!! this is my favorite thing, the tot events are a treasure trove of fun cases and awesome team dynamics. in the game itself, some of the big events are available as DLC for anybody to play themselves at any time. to get there, X-NOTE Story -> lower and rightmost button Event -> upper and rightmost button Past.

if theres anything i would reccommend the MOST, itd be to download and pllay the event Mysteries of the Lost Gold. it's so good. it's my favorite event story. trust me on this

i hope these tips can help!!! happy playing :DDD

#asks #anon #luke voice: tears of thermos!#HAHA SORRY THE THERMOS THING JUST MADE ME SMILE A LOT SJFHSVKFDJH #tottips

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