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galfridus1 · 5 years

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Happy Birthday Helbram!

@thestarrynightgazer and I wrote a fic for King’s birthday, and she did some amazing art to go with it. Here is what happened next and how King got his revenge (sort of). Hope you enjoy!

King did a good job of pretending not to be well - displeased - that he had spent his birthday locked up in a shed just so his boyfriend could set up a surprise party. But he was. Very. And he determined to take his revenge.

Now, King is nothing if not petty. He is extremely good at holding grudges and nursing them until they are deep and all-consuming. And that was what he did for the 33 days between his birthday and Helbram’s.

He decided the punishment would be the one thing Helbram could not bear under any circumstances: a lack of attention. He feared their friends would refuse to take part, but here King was surprised. Elaine, Ban and Meliodas all fell in readily enough with his suggestion. Elizabeth it is true was less happy about the arrangement but they others’ enthusiasm overruled her.

So what did he do? Well, King “forgot” Helbram’s birthday. The latter kept dropping hints about how it would be nice to do something special on the coming Sunday. When asked why he replied, “The weather is supposed to be really good!” and “We’ve been inside loads lately, I’m up for a change.” But King just tutted and ignored the requests. “You spent far too much money on my birthday we can’t afford to waste more.”

Helbram hoped that he could drop enough hints to get one of their friends to do something but he kept hitting brick walls. “We’re busy this weekend,” said Ban, with a suggestive look at Elaine. “So are we,” added Meliodas as Elizabeth blushed.

Poor Helbram was beside himself at this point. On Saturday night he stomped out of the house in a temper and King stood at the door, wondering if he had taken things too far as their dog Oslo barked at him reproachfully. King set off, running through the streets to try and find Helbram, but to no avail. He could not know that Helbram had gone to stay with Diane, and was at that very moment sobbing his heart out to her.

Meliodas, completely oblivious to the drama, had decked out his house in a blaze of bunting, coloured lights and balloons. The party arranged was lavish enough to rival King’s. He had even got Ban to bake a back-up cake just in case something happened to the one he had commissioned (he blamed King for the fiasco that occurred the last time).

On Sunday morning, King waited at the door, constantly messaging Helbram on his mobile, via hangouts and Twitter and Instagram. Helbram did not respond. As the sun rose in the sky and noon approached, the hour at which he was to convey Helbram to his party, King decided that, this time, he had really fucked up.

He was just about to give in and call Meliodas, tears swimming in his eyes, when he jolted as his mobile rang with its cheerful tone. He looked down in surprise to see the call was coming from Diane. He and Diane spoke every so often but they usually messaged each other rather than called. They had been on a couple of dates that just hadn’t brought them a spark; they had survived the experiment with their friendship intact but it was a little more strained than before. King frowned slightly, wondering what Diane could want. Well, he did not have time for it now. Gritting his teeth, he pressed the red X to reject the call.

The phone rang again. And again. And again.

On the fifth ring King answered, snapping at Diane. “Helbram’s missing and I don’t know whether to call the police and he’s missing his birthday and I completely fucked up and I don’t know what to do and it’s all horrible.” Talking about it made it seem worse and King could feel tears spill from his eyes.

“He’s with me, silly,” Diane said happily.

“W-what??”

So Helbram got to his party and enjoyed himself immensely. And I think the pranks will continue, don’t you?

#nnt #art by kat #fanfiction #helbram #king #diane #kingbram #kat is a genius #happy birthday helbram!!

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thestarrynightgazer · 5 years

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING!

It's already april first sooo yeah, I and @galfridus1 wrote something! It was an honor to have my first collab with you!

Although Ellie did all the job...

King was crying. Well, of course he was not really crying, he told himself forcefully. He had made a New Year’s resolution after all. No he was most definitely not crying; just… quietly sobbing a bit.

He looked around miserably at the barren shed he was closeted in: industrial concrete walls, a few desolate tools scattered untidily on a workbench, a cork board with a few colourful pins sticking the odd scrap of faded newspaper to its mottled brown surface. It smelled of dust, and King could not suppress a sneeze, clouds of the stuff floating before him in the sparkling air. The shed mercifully had a small window, enough to cast his surroundings in a golden light, though the day would not last for long. His bag was gone, and with it his phone and any hope that he could raise the alarm, or pinpoint his location.

He was not even tied up. The man who had grabbed him from the side of the road as he was on his way home - tall, masked, and lanky with surprising large hands - had just picked him up with no trouble at all. He had hoisted King over his shoulder and run down the street with a cackling laugh before throwing him unceremoniously into a dirty white van. Evidently this kidnapper had rather got the measure of him: King was physically weak, not the type to break out of a concrete shed with his bare hands.

King cursed to himself. This was ridiculous. He had thought the worst thing that ever could have happened to him was when Meliodas had 'accidentally' pulled his shorts down during soccer practice. But no. This was worse. He should have listened to Helbram. His boyfriend had pointedly said only the other day that King needed to go to the gym, to develop some muscle, to stop being so weak that his only defensive move was a limp sort of slap. Unfortunately, he hadn’t listened to Helbram and, in that moment, he regretted heartily that he was such a little sloth.

And part of him was panicking, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest. He wasn't some son of millionaire so there was no way this was kidnap for ransom. What if he was to be dissected and all his organs sold on the black market, his kidney, his lungs, his heart and who knew what more? What if they wanted to sell him? The newspapers had been full of stories about modern day slavery… He shook his head at this, refusing to entertain the thought, forcing himself to gain control of his emotions. What was it the man had said after he deposited King in this dirty little outpost? Something about how if he wanted to get out he had to look around?

Well, King did not want to go out like this. He wanted to to die on his bed in old age, married to his cute, mischievous, wonderful boyfriend with several adopted kids and grandkids if possible. He wanted to talk to Helbram one last time, tell him he loved him, tell him he adored him. He wanted to apologize to his sister, tell her he loved her too and to speak to Diane. She was getting married to Howzer! She would definitely cancel her wedding if he went missing…

With a deep exhale that blew out his cheeks, King shook his head once more. Look around? At what? His eyes roamed over the dingy room. The one window was set too high in the wall and was a small, flat affair, far too tiny for even him to squeeze through. The tools scattered about were of no use: a spanner, a small handful of bolts, and a spirit level. Nothing he could use to pick a lock. With a sudden rush of inspiration King ran to the door, twisting the handle and tugging with all his might. But yes it was locked, very thoroughly so. With a frustrated cry, King dropped his hand, spinning on his heels, his eyes alighting on a flash of metal in the wall as he did so.

A safe? There was a safe! There had to be something in there that would help. King shuffled over to the metal box and squinted at it; it was a cheap-looking affair with a simple punch keypad. Experimentally, King typed in some zeros, the display of red numbers beeping quietly after he had pressed the button four times. So, a four digit code was required. King sighed, quickly doing some sums in his head. To try every possible combination would take him more than eight hours.

It was then he decided to look at the cork board. On it were fastened several newspaper articles, all of them reporting errant nonsense. One described how spaghetti had been discovered growing on trees in Switzerland of all places; then there was something about the state of Alabama changing the value of pi to a “more godly” round three point zero; and finally an article about how a man had achieved the power of flight using only the expired breath from his lungs. The last two King was unfamiliar with, but the first story he recognised as one of the most successful April Fool’s Day spoofs which had yet been published in the mainstream media.

King started, his eyes widening as he once more looked back at the board. All of the articles were dated April first, and it was as if a light had been turned on in his brain. That was today’s date! The scare of the kidnap had quite made him forget that today was in fact his own birthday, and that he had been upset with Helbram for failing to even acknowledged the date that morning, even though King had coughed pointedly and looked hard at the calendar.

With trembling fingers, King punched 0104 into the safe, his breath leaving his lungs in a huge puff when the small door swung open. Inside was a silver key, and he grasped at it quickly, his eyes darting from side to side as his muscles tensed involuntarily. He took several deep breaths. The room was empty. No one was going to rob him of his prize.

The key turned in the lock easily, and King frowned in puzzlement. The mechanism was almost too smooth, as if the lock had recently been oiled. King took a careful sniff as he withdrew the key, the smell of the lubricant confirming his suspicions. This was a very strange sort of kidnap, he thought as he carefully, tentatively opened the door, the sudden influx of light making him shield his eyes against the glare. It was almost as if whoever had locked him in here had no intention of keeping him prisoner, but just wanted him out of the way for an hour or so…

“SURPRISE!” The huge yell was like a bark of white noise and King almost jumped out of his skin. Instinctively, he reached out in an effort to clutch at his soft, comfort cushion, before turning red in the face as his hand met the air. Of course, he did not carry that thing around any more. He had not in fact done so since he was a small boy. The blush in his cheeks grew in intensity and King could feel a pressure building behind his nose, his head throbbing as the nosebleed threatened to spill down his face.

“Happy Birthday!” a familiar voice called and, all at once, the world righted itself. King took several calming breaths as he forced himself to take in the scene. There was Elaine, smiling broadly, Ban standing beside her with a leer on his face; Diane and Howzer, standing together, the man’s arms wrapped around the petite dancer’s trim waist as she laid her head back into his shoulder. Elizabeth was off to the side, her long silver hair swaying as she busily fussed with something on the large table which stood in the middle of what King now recognised to be Meliodas’s enormous garden, its trim lawn and neat, manicured hedges set around a gravel driveway. The shed itself was decorated with bunting in cheerful greens and yellows, King’s favourite colours, for they reminded him of spring.

The tinkling laugh attracted his attention. “It took you long enough to get out of there! We’ve been waiting an age!” King practically floated towards Helbram, collapsing into his arms as the other grinned brightly. “And, look, you really need to do as I say and go to the gym. Ban said he just picked you up! Is that true?”

“It wasn’t like that at all,” King spluttered, his voice drowned out by Ban’s cackling laughter.

“He did try to slap me~” the tall man conceded.

King closed his eyes, anticipating more of a teasing until Elaine’s soft voice floated over the air. “It is my brother’s birthday,” she chastised, an edge to her tone, and both Ban and Helbram fell silent in an instant.

“And there’s cake!” a cheerful voice called and they all swung around to see Meliodas bounding across the drive, his feet crunching on the small stones as he moved. In his hands was the most enormous confection; a hugh, multi-tiered cake covered in crystal white icing and heaped with sugared pansies and violets. There was so much of it King stared and stared; there was no way the eight of them could possible get through it all between them.

“Some more people are coming later,” Meliodas explained in response to King’s questioning look. “Everyone’s coming, even Gowther. I hired a DJ. It’s going to be great!”

King felt his throat squeeze shut, his cheeks still flaming red as he looked round at his friends. His heart was still racing, his body still alive with adrenaline but he could feel himself beginning to relax. Helbram’s arms were still round him, and he leaned into his touch, before the pair broke apart and King took a few, hesitant steps towards the table as Meliodas placed the cake on the chequered white and red cloth. King looked at it once more, taking another step closer; it really was a work of art.

“Happy birthday, mate!” Howzer said heartily and King felt a firm slap across his shoulders. He stumbled, his arms circling in the air as he tried to regain his balance but to no avail. He heard Diane gasp, and felt someone grab the back of his coat, but the action was just a little too late. King could not even squeak, could do nothing at all as he pitched face first into the huge cake, grimacing as his head was surrounded by cream and icing and crumb.

It was silent. King knew his hearing was muffled by cake but he could still tell the others were making absolutely no sound. He pushed against the table, dislodging his head from the mess, swiping at his eyes to clear them of cream. The cake was a write-off, and King could see that his clothes were coated in mashed up food, and he knew that his hair must also be plastered with the stuff. He did not dare look up, even when Diane started yelling at Howzer, her usually sweet voice shrill with her ire. “I didn’t mean it!” her fiancé protested, as Elizabeth made soothing noises, evidently trying to smooth over the fight.

King felt an arm loop round his shoulders. “Come on,” Helbram whispered into his ear as he led King carefully towards the large, sprawling house. “It’s not matter. We’ll get you cleaned up. Mel will let you borrow some clothes, or I can go back and get some of yours if you want. It’ll all be okay.”

“Why am I so weak?” King asked bitterly. He was rigid in Helbram’s gentle embrace, his hands curled into fists at his side. “I hate it…”

“You’re not weak,” Helbram said comfortingly, and King felt their steps slow, before Helbram turned him in his arms. Before he knew what was happening their lips were pressed together. The kiss was slow, deliberate, possessive and full of love, and King could feel his pulse beginning to calm.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” Helbram said firmly and King was surprised to see his boyfriend looking so serious. Helbram was always the playful one, the light-hearted joker, the man who brightened every day. He was never serious, something King sometimes found frustrating, so it took him aback to hear the sombre tone now.

Helbram continued, “You always stand up for everyone, you protect others however hard it is. That’s why I love you. Now, let’s get inside.” With a small smile, Helbram once more guided King towards the house, the sounds of their friends arguing fading as they made their way inside.

“I love you, too,” King said in a rush. He expected to splutter with the admission, to turn bright red as usual, but he found the words came easily and without embarrassment. “I really love you, even if you did have me locked in a shed,” he said more confidently. Their eyes met, and King allowed himself a small smile to see Helbram looking so happy, his slightly pointed face alight with his grin and his light-green eyes shining.

“That would have been so much more poetic if you weren’t covered in goo. Come on, there must be a shower somewhere in this mansion.” Helbram took hold of King’s hand. “And Happy Birthday,” he said more quietly as they leaned against one another, their fingers lacing tight together as they went to explore the house.

#nnt #sds #kingbram #king #helbram

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