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#like i. i am wrong and uncharitable

unopenablebox · 1 year

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ntn spoilers even now

this is an insane way to take something too personally but i am rereading ntn and am. secretly still mad/sad about one specific post from when it came out about how the Deep Wrongness we All Feel about paul is because within the gender framework of the book, it is about how being a transgender person who wants to cut their hair and have an androgynous body and leave behind their gendered history is Tempting But Deeply Wrong, an Intrinsic Falseness that if it could ever succeed makes you a Stranger To Your Family, not Good Real Authentic Transness which is Inherently Inescapably Historied And Messy and deep down we all know that and that’s why we all can agree that paul is a creepy fantasy that makes you feel bad

which, like, i get that op of that post was doing stuff about like. the literary meaning of paul in the context of the book and starting from explaining a feeling of uncanniness and also somewhat discussing their personal gender journey, but it did just um. honestly it hurt my feelings

#man i know it's about a Harmful Ideal of Androgyny and also a sci fi book and also one person's particular feelings #like i. i am wrong and uncharitable #and perfectly aware that i am doing the reading from the wrong direction #op did not mean that it is bad to like. care about being androgynous or want it or uh wish to mindmeld with your gf given the alternative of #oblivion. or whatever. in that none of those are on the table. just for an example #but you know. sometimes i am wrong permanently #also i guess cause i thought paul was like. fine #not great but not bad under the circumstances! A Decent Way Out‚ Given #box opener #bookbox

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mybrainproblems · 2 years

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Controversial opinion: the confession was meaningful but ultimately meh. Berens is lionized by the fandom for being the one who got to push destiel over the line in spite of writing episodes that characterized Dean as actively and willfully cruel, thus making the confession ring hollow.

Sorry not sorry; he had some banger eps but so many of them have absolutely shit characterization of Dean that sometimes undermine the themes of late seasons (nvm the confession itself) and everyone completely ignores 13x09 the bad place and everything with Kaia just bc he wrote 15x09 and 15x18 🙄🙄🙄

I don't think Berens' Cas is very good either like at least Dabb has the good sense to just not write a whole lot for Cas that impacts his long-term characterization. Glynn and Yockey were the true casfan Cas understanders, not Berens.

#literally every kaia ep is on him and maybe i'm being uncharitable but i feel like wayward might have been a firefly s2 situation #based on everything i've heard about what was planned for it #i don't see the necessity of killing off missouri just to have her come back as a spirit guide ghost for patience #it just really rubs me the wrong way and then there's everything with kaia so like. i think he would've needed a VERY diverse writers room #to showrun whatever he had planned and not have it be an offensive clusterfuck #at least based on some of the details that have come out after it wasn't picked up #i am in a fucking MOOD #spn

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snekdood · 1 year

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unfortunately the thing i like about “man” and “dude” as opposed to other similar phrases like “pal” “buddy” “my friend” is that the first two seem to diffuse any tension. while the other ones have almost an inherent passive aggression to them. i really wish we could just use dude and man gender neutrally but yeah i understand why not its just like .-. what other word can i use that doesnt sound passive aggressive

#dawg is sometimes fine. but that can also be like read as antagonistic sometimes too if ppl are reading it in the wrong tone #agh...#pls i am genuinely asking for option im not trying to be mean or whatever uncharitable thing someone might be reading into this

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mashkaroom · 1 year

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everyone please clap, i just sent a really civil email instead of what i wanted to say which was YOU STUPID FUCK DO YOU FUCKING READ INSTRUCTIONS?????? DID YOU READ THE FUCKING PAPER WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE PRESENTING ON??????? WHY DID YOU WANT TO MEET AT 9:30 PM ON THE DAY THE PRESENTATION WAS DUE AND THEN DID ZERO FUCKING WORK UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT?????? WHY THE FUCK DID I DO 90% OF THE WORK WITH THE HOPE THAT YOU WOULD DO THE MUCH LESS MENTALLY TAXING REMAINING 10% OF WHICH HALF IS FULLY OPTIONAL AND THEN I HAD TO FUCKING BABYSIT YOU THE WHOLE TIME YOU DID IT??? LITERALLY MOST OF WHAT YOU HAD TO DO WAS COPY PASTE TEXT FROM A GOOGLE DOC INTO SLIDES HOW DID YOU MISS HALF OF THE FUCKING GOOGLE DOC????? YES WE HAVE TO HAVE THAT, BECAUSE THAT ACCOUNTS FOR HALF OF THE FUCKING ARTICLE!!!!!! DID YOU READ! THE! FUCKING! PAPER! I SPECIFICALLY WANTED TO HAVE THE LAST HOURS OF THE EVENING OFF TO DO OTHER THINGS BUT I STILL HAD TO BABYSIT YOUR STUPID FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!! ALSO DID YOU GENUINELY JUST ADD ‘WE SHOULD GIVE TAX CUTS TO BUSINESSES SO THEY WILL CREATE HOUSING FROM THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS’ TO THE SLIDES?????? I WILL ENJOY SEEING YOU FILETED TOMORROW!!!!!! BRO YOU HAVE TO EITHER BE SMART OR BE PRODUCTIVE YOU CAN’T DO 5% OF THE WORK AND THEN THAT WORK IS FUCKING SHIT!!!!! IT LITERALLY WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME LESS TIME TO DO IT WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

#i am feeling very uncharitable tonight #after our last presentation the prof said i should speak less #like sure i can do that. i'm sorry my partner doesn't fucking know shit #and seemingly barely read the paper???#it would be good if we could use the meeting times to discuss the paper in detail #but last time around he had not read the paper at all by our meeting time #and this time we didn't meet at our normal time (which was my fault) but instead we met 3.5 hours before the due date #at which point we just had to do it #grrrr fucking grrrrr #also like. it's not that i'm the best group member in the world #so i am normally very charitable to people not being on top of things #but???? you have to be apologetic about it????#or at least let people know in advance like 'hey guys i'm honestly a mess sorry'#but this dude i feel like. genuinely does not have a sense that he is doing anything at all wrong #like no dude you are really fucking me over!!#also bc what he said was 'let's meet tomorrow evening #i said 'ok is 8 good?'#no response. i assume 8 is fine. i text at 8. no response #he texts me at 8:30 like 'hey is 9:30-9:45 good?'#🤦‍♂️#frankly if i came to a meeting and saw my groupmate had done 90% of the project #i would have been like 'oh jeez i'm so sorry thank you so much for taking initiative on this. what is there left to do i'll take it all'#'was there some sort of miscommunication that led to you doing all this that we should fix?'#'i can take the lead next time'#anyway i sent an email that was like 'we should communicate better #divide the work more clearly in advance #and make better use of our meeting time'#so hopefully that goes over well. he seems like a really nice dude!! just also a rubbish groupmate and also a capitalist bootlicker so

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therealvinelle · 1 year

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When did Dumbledore start his giant grudge against Tom Riddle? What triggered it?

From what we see in the memory of Dumbledore and Tom Riddle's first meeting, we started off at day 0 with this enmity, and the trigger was that Dumbledore... doesn't seem to actually like children all that much. Oh, it's all well and good when they're pleasant and listen with bright and attentive eyes to him, but Tom Riddle was guarded and that seems to have been enough. The way Dumbledore reads nefarious intent into everything Tom, an eleven-year-old, says or does speaks for itself.

(As it is I find Tom in the orphanage memory acts very much like a normal child. Distrustful of authorities and jaded, yes, but that's hardly surprising given his background. Dumbledore's lack of understanding and immediate dislike of what is essentially a troubled child is what I find concerning about the chapter.)

Dumbledore goes on to explain to Harry how... I can't even paraphrase this, you're getting a quote (only a paragraph, or we'd be here all day):

"I had, as I have already indicated, resolved to keep a close eye upon him, and so I did. I cannot pretend that I gleaned a great deal from my observations at first. He was very guarded with me; he felt, am sure, that in the thrill of discovering his true identity he had told me a little too much. He was careful never to reveal as much again, but he could not take back what he had let slip in his excitement, nor what Mrs. Cole had confided in me. However, he had the sense never to try and charm me as he charmed so many of my colleagues." (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, page 239-240)

(Yes, the guy kept going, beautifully at one point admitting "So I never actually caught him doing anything wrong at any point, but I feel confident in saying he was being evil off-screen all the same" and at another explaining "He had dark glamour, Harry", but I'm trying to be brief here.)

So.

Dumbledore, per his own admission, couldn't catch Tom out on anything even though he kept close watch and we know how uncharitable he is in his interpretation of Tom's words and actions. Notice too, though, how he thinks Tom viewed their first meeting: he believes Tom Riddle was an eleven-year-old politician straight out of Lord Hadrian Potter fanfics. Tom keeps his distance from a professor he doesn't like and Dumbledore says, "Ah, the Machiavellian youth recognizes me as a worthy opponent. How sensible of him."

You can't make this shit up.

So, no, Tom never stood a chance with Dumbledore. It was one-sided Machiavelli at first sight.

(And no, I don't believe this was mutual. Tom acts entirely too normal in the job interview memory, he's having a job interview and Dumbledore is Obi-Wan meeting Darth Vader on the Death Star. It's hilarious, but uh telling.)

#tom acting like a normal person hoping everyone else will follow suit is my favorite thing about the pensieve memories #tom riddle #albus dumbledore #albus dumbledore & tom riddle #harry potter #harry potter meta #anti albus dumbledore

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electrificata · 9 months

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this is going to be violently online, scroll now to save yourself

i am deeply entrenched in the cringe wars (not actually firing any bullets just watching other people do it) and one of the main counterarguments i see is "we need to kill cringe," "cringe is dead" etc. and this rubs me the wrong way a little. and i felt bad about it!! people are getting doxxed cuz they like. upload a corny song on tiktok. obviously thats bad, obviously the cringe industrial complex needs to be killed, like, the accounts that repost shit to be mocked, and people who go posting-crusade against someone who like, wore an outfit they didnt like or said something in a funny voice they didnt like.

BUT on the other hand. i dont know. i dont love the idea of painting the only virtuous path as like. being an angelic being who only experiences love towards their fellow creatures. thats simply not realistic. but i think its easier to say that then "sometimes you will see someone doing something in a public forum that causes you to feel secondhand embarrassment, and you need to contain your reaction and perhaps examine what this illuminates about your own thoughts and values, and then move on." perhaps someday you will naturally find yourself at a place where you no longer feel "cringe," which sounds wonderful. but also difficult, and the end result of a long process.

and even harder than saying that is whats on the other side, is saying "if someone thinks you are cringe, that is a problem they are having, not a reflection of your worth." because some of it really is just basic run of the mill haterism, which we all occasionally produce, and we all must learn to endure from others. its the doxxing that we need to kill, its the hair-trigger accusations of heinous crimes we need to kill. on a basic level, its the making-your-own-cringe-reaction-somebody-else's problem that needs to be killed. the slippery slope doesnt work here, i really think its two different kinds of behavior.

you will have uncharitable thoughts sometimes! because you are a human being. and i think its kind of disingenuous to ignore that.

#does this make any sense at all

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lucidicer · 1 year

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Josephine ‘Jo’ McCarthy for @minamill ‘s Rhea Summers

“am i here to win?...that depends on what you believe the prize is”

"this might be all fun ‘n games for rest of these folks but i've seen a lot of these types who move here seekin' adventure an' all. i don't like em one bit. 'm here to see what this rhea summers' deal is. now, are we done here?”

Self appointed sheriff in town, Josephine, is 23 years old and grew up in strangerville with her widowed father as an only child. Jo’s mother first went missing when she was 14, despite how desperately she pressed and pressed the local authorities to keep looking it was as if she was talking to a brick wall. It was only after her mother’s body was found years later that she decided, then and there, that she was going to be the person to actually help this town. Despite meaning well Jo comes across as aggressive and uncharitable to those who she’s trying to protect the most, it’s caused her to become the stone cold, authority she is today. Unwavering in her attitudes, it’s impossible to stop her from doing something once she’s made up her mind. Which brings us to her signing up for this bachelorette. Jo was already on edge and fired up before Rhea showed up out of nowhere talking about ‘looking for love’, maybe Jo was being dramatic when she percieved this as a threat to the town once again but she’s too worried of being right and doing nothing than being wrong and doing something. Now the only question is, what will she find?

She has the self assured, hot headed and cunning/paranoid (take your pick) traits and the renaissance sim aspiration. She has an knack for boxing, hiking, and wood working. She loves nothing more than having a cold beer after a long day and then a cup of coffee in the morning after a long night. She also likes hawaiian pizza.

#SHES HERE #LESBIAN IN THE BUILDING #i had sm fun making her and figuring out her personality and backstory!!!!!#ts4 #ts4 portraits #x

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analoceits · 3 months

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mourning tea

A03 link

summary: He bit his tongue to stop the spiteful feeling suddenly building in his gut, shaking it off of him like a dog that was freshly hosed down. He was being uncharitable; this was an olive branch, Patton should be appreciative. They were trying to get along more, he had asked for more effort like this, he had no right to be angry or annoyed. Just.. did Janus have to pick today? - - - It’s the anniversary of the day that king died. Things are somber.

note: hi!! when i wrote this fic i forgot that that would also be the twins birthdays just. uh just ignore that for me. pls and thank you <3. uhh enjoy!!

taglist: @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat, @thegoldenduckie

As soon as the bumps in the table cloth settled under Patton's fingers he took a quick glance around the room, and everything was practically flawless. The tea cups were lined up to the inch, the morning sun filtered through the barely parted curtains beautifully, and the tiles were practically glowing in the light. Even if perfection wasn’t achievable, this was close, he thought. He was proud of his work.

(It was too good, though. It couldn’t last. Perfect things rest on a thin line, and they’ll tip and topple with the slightest push of the wind, and even if you try to be gentle dust will seep in with time and either way you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t and-)

And Patton really needed to stop letting his mind wander today.

He cleared his head, taking a deep breath in - unclenching his jaw and unclenching his fists - and a deep breath out - easing the tension from his shoulders and lower back. There, back to focusing. He drew his attention to the little digital clock in the corner of the room and read the time - 7:28 AM. Janus should be here soon, he thought.

Of course he would be, this was Janus’s ideas after all. This.. meeting. The meeting he had proposed after the 5 year anniversary video, the one Patton accepted without missing a beat because he wasn’t paying attention to the date and was just so happy for them to get along. This tea party for grown children.

He bit his tongue to stop the spiteful feeling suddenly building in his gut, shaking it off of him like a dog that was freshly hosed down. He was being uncharitable; this was an olive branch, Patton should be appreciative. They were trying to get along more, he had asked for more effort like this, he had no right to be angry or annoyed.

Just.. did Janus have to pick today?

He shouldn’t blame Janus for the choice, it wasn’t intentional. He doubt any of the other sides remembered, let alone Janus. Thomas was so, so young when it happened; Patton was sure that after all these years he was the only one who even remembered what day it was, really. Who would hold the grief so close but him?

After all these years he could barely remember Romulus’s face himself; he was starting to blur in old pictures as the memory waned. Still, the thought of him - his smile, his patience, his calloused hands - it made his chest ache and always left him dazed. The grief never really left or eased, he just had to grow around it.

Usually, he would spend today curled up with his knees pressed to his chest in the darkest and warmest corner of his room and he would pretend. He would pretend to himself, without telling a soul - that there were four other sides. Virgil, Logan, Janus, and Romulus. He would pretend that nothing had ever gone wrong, as if it would save him the grief.

(It never did.)

It was the only way he could get through this day, at least he thought. Now, though, standing and biting back the sickly aching pain, he thought - just maybe - he could actually survive this. Painfully, but he could make the table and talk to Janus and breath like his lungs were still right, and it’d be fine. He’d numb his wounds and it’d be fine.

As soon as he pulled himself from his thoughts the toasted dinged behind him, to which he rushed over. Two slices, on for him and one for janus. He smeared a healthy helping of butter and jam across the modest breakfast, his hands barely shaking despite himself. He could survive this.

Right as he was setting the dishes on the table, there was a swish of the door and a settling click. Janus. “Oh, it looks perfect, thank you so much dear,” Janus’s voice was sweet and thick like honey, a soothing balm. Patton looked up to thank him and offer him his seat, and he choked on air.

Golden lace dripped down his shoulders across the edge of his capelet, rippling in beautiful waves and interspersed with black teardrop gems. His - what Patton now realized was a dress - faded to a beautiful golden at the end, occasionally dotted with those same black tear drops in am intricate pattern. His bowler hat was replaced for a sun hat - complete with a golden ribbon and a black veil. He looked beautiful.

Patton seemingly stared longer than he thought, because after a moment Janus laughed tensely and he averted his eyes, in what Patton half registered as embarrassment. “It’s alright, dear,” he soothed, “I didn’t expect you to be all fancied up like me - I’m just doing the for fun, anyway. The theatre of it all, you know.”

Patton wasn’t worried about being presentable, not today, but he didn’t dare look the gift horse of Janus ignoring his bright red face in the mouth. Instead, he nodded as firmly as he could and spoke, “thank you, Jan.” With a smile that managed to be only a little awkward. His thoughts were off-topic, severely off-topic.

After one more second of awkward pause, Patton forced himself to move, pulling out Janus’s seat for him and offering it to him with a soft smile. “The foods all still warm,” he promised as Janus settled in the seat and Patton took to his own across from his. Janus gave him a warm smile - with a tint of something else, and Patton tried his best to beam it back, asking “how are you?”

“I’m doing the best I can,” he answered smoothly, blowing on the tea before taking a sip of it delicately. That same odd smile stayed after he drank, “I would ask you the same, but.. it feels a stupid question, considering the day and all.”

It took Patton a long moment to process the words as he stared blankly at Janus. As soon as the implication caught up to him, though, his shoulders seemed to knit together into one entity with how tense he got. Oh. Oh. Janus remembered. He picked today on purpose, didn’t he?

(Briefly, in the back of his mind he finally registered what the emotion lingering behind Janus’s smile was: grief.)

Janus watched his reaction with a mix of concern and mild confusion, a hand half reached out to him like Patton was something volatile to be treated with caution. Something seemed to click in his head, though, the moment after Patton came to his realization, and he quietly asked, “Patton.. you were aware I picked today with intention, weren’t you?”

Patton looked to the side and a gave a small, sad smile, and the lie was slipping out of his mouth before he could even think to stop himself. “I.. just forgot what day it was, I guess that’s why it didn’t register,” he had a mildly forced smile on his face as he spoke.

Janus frowned at him. “.. Patton,” he said slowly and painfully, painfully gently, “you don’t have to lie to me, we both know it’s a good idea to do that.” He said, and despite the sarcastic words - he never seemed particularly snappy with him. All of his motions and words were slow, gentle, like Patton could break with the slightest push.

Patton wrung his hands out tensely, seemingly trying to look anywhere in the room but at Janus. After a tense second of this anti-staring contest or whatever he should call it, he forced out, “I just.. thought you wouldn’t choose a day like this for a tea party, that’s all.” The bitterness in his tone was guttural; unintentional but inevitable.

Before he could stumble out any forced apologies or reassurances to go with the surprisingly harsh words that just escaped him, Janus spoke first. It was a question, a simple one at that. “Ah, would you.. prefer I reschedule? It wouldn’t be a problem, you know.” He asked, still so gentle.

Patton stared at him, and in the thick of his gut he knew the correct answer was probably a ‘yes, please’. It was what he had wanted all along, but now - in a warm kitchen with nice lights and Janus smiling at him so sweetly, spending the rest of the day in his room seemed unbearable. He wasn’t sure he would survive that.

“It’s, uhm.. it’s not bad.” Patton promised, a bit of desperation seeping into his tone, pleading that Janus wouldn’t insist so they could stay like this - lovingly uncomfortable or whatever he could call it. It was better than alone, he realized, so much better than alone.

Luckily, though, Janus seemed to relent with ease, letting out an all too easy, “if you insist.” Patton watched his expression and had a very strange, but comforting thought. Maybe Janus didn’t want to spend today alone either.

With that on his mind, he took a warm drink of the tea. It was sweet in his mouth and down his throat. It was a little nostalgic, too - going over to Thomas’s nanas house when they were nothing but young boys.

When there were just five sides.

The pang of pain ate up the entirety of Patton’s chest with that thought, but before he could speak in an attempt to distract himself, Janus did. Outrunning him yet again, he asked, “what kind of jam is on the bread?”

It was a simple question, but one Patton couldn’t help but giggle at. “Crofters,” he said - then added, leaning closer and whispering as if it was a big secret, “I don’t think Logan will let us buy any other kind.” It was true, in his defense.

Janus smiled and gave an equally hearty laugh at that answer, “I’m not sure why I asked, of course it’s crofters.” After that he took a bite from the toast and smiled with satisfaction, “it’s sweet and toasted just right as well.” Then he gave Patton an oddly soft look, “I wouldn’t expect anything else from you, Padre.”

The words were warm, and sweet, and the pain of the day was less in Patton’s chest with that mind. This.. was easier than being alone, wasn’t it? Suddenly, in a warm kitchen with Janus smiling at him like he was the sweetest thing, a warm but dark room was unimaginable.

Despite those sweet thoughts, Patton’s mouth ruined the moment instantly. Before anything normal could be said, he blurted out the thought that had been on his mind since Janus had asked him that little question months ago, “why.. today?”

Janus gave him a surprised stare and Patton cringed, wishing he could take back those two words more than he had ever wished for anything. After a long second, Janus just very politely said, “it felt fitting.”

Patton knew for a fact that he should stop digging there. He had gotten what he wanted, which was Janus to not leave, and so it should be fine. But, staring at him as he stared back, the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, “what does that mean?”

Janus sighed and Patton worried it was out of annoyance, but he kept up his polite demeanor nonetheless. “The..” splitting, Patton filled in mentally, “death, of king, seemed to sever the bond between us. So, having the fixing of that bond - or at least the start of it, be on the anniversary felt fitting.”

Patton stared. Death. He hadn’t ever called it a death before because, really, it wasn’t. It wasn’t. Sure, king was gone - but he didn’t die. The twins were still there. If the twins were still there, he was still there, but.. no. The twins weren’t him, were they? He had died.

It was somewhat inevitable that Patton was going to cry today. He was tired, and he was grieving, and he had woken up at an ungodly hour to set up the kitchen. It didn’t make it hurt less, though. He choked out the tears, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes until he saw stars like it would help.

Patton managed to whisper one, choked word through his tears. “Penance.”

Janus cursed under his breath, awkwardly reaching out and setting a hand across Patton’s arm. “No, no, Patton please,” he begged, “that’s not what I meant. You aren’t guilty, you were seven, this isn’t a punishment. I..” He sighed, giving in, “I was lying. I don’t have any greater reason to this, I just-” he reached for Patton’s hand, intertwining their fingers like he was afraid Patton was going to leave when he spoke, “I just didn’t want to be alone today.”

Patton looked up tentatively, eyes still brimming with tears but expression soft, staring silently for a long, long second, before carefully clamping two of his hands around Janus’s, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. “Oh,” he said before softly adding, “I think thats ok, then. I don’t want to be alone either.”

Janus gave him a soft smile back. The kitchen was warm.

#sanders sides #tss #ts sides #sasi #patton sanders #janus sanders #romulus sanders #king creativity #moceit #platonic moceit #analoceits writing

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spiribia · 5 months

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you cannot penalize people in good faith going 'maybe im lgbt?' and then realizing this is not the case for them. the 'am i or am i just faking it' dichotomy is undiscerning in who it strikes, & it shouldn't feel like the possibility of being wrong is such a vast and weighty error. obviously there are people who will have uncharitable opinions after realizing they did not fall into certain categories & those can definitely merit criticism, but it's not like this is something you owe to other people or else you're wrongfully appropriating something. most baffling is the indignation of like 'how dare you betray this community' as if it wouldve been morally better to keep it to yourself and keep wearing a shoe that doesnt fit anymore. what is the betrayal here then, that the person didn't immediately have a clear label for themself right out the gate, or that they weren't willing to lie.

#talks

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comicaurora · 2 years

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I don't wanna stick my head into an ongoing argument especially as a non-artist but it frustrated me how quickly you got dismissed out of hand despite. Idk. Also being a content creator and artist who relies on people seeing and engaging with your work, both with Aurora and OSP

I was not expecting a full adult blogger whose posts I like and respect to publicly dunk on me for things I did not say and opinions I do not hold because my two-sentence post about something unrelated pinged the little "this is about me so I am justified to scold" sensor, and I was not expecting them to double down into condescension, and then I was further disappointed to conclude that they probably blocked me, because my two attempts at reblogging with a de-escalation and apology vanished into the tumblr error dimension and I didn't have it in me to rewrite the whole thing a third time.

Tumblr's reading comprehension is poor for sure, but I think the larger problem is how the platform is optimized for sweeping statements to be read as intensely personal. If a generalized statement crosses my dash that could be read as in some way negative or dismissive of me or an identity I hold, it's easy to feel like there's nothing in the world but me and that poster purposefully sniping at me personally. If that were the reality, maybe it would be fine for me to retaliate. But the fact is, that poster doesn't know me, the post is presumably about what it says it's about, and reading farther into it would require context it's impossible for me to know.

In this case, for instance, this person doesn't seem to know anything about me, so they don't know that I am myself an artist, that I know a little something about building an audience, and that I enjoy having a platform that enables me to draw attention to lesser-known but extremely high quality work. Instead, they saw my flippant two-post "kinda rude and entitled when this very specific rude thing happens" and decided I was an ignorant child who needed schooling because I was being rude and dismissive to the struggles of them and theirs.

I know why this happens. Tumblr, for all its size, feels intensely personal. It feels significantly worse when it actually GETS personal, like their responses were to me. Their post makes good points and I'm glad it's raising awareness for lesser-known artists and workers in need of support, but I don't enjoy being turned into a strawman and paraded for ridicule, especially by someone whose experience on this platform runs deeper than mine. Frankly, I expected them to be experienced enough to be kind.

It feels very shitty, obviously. Like many neurodivergent people - not to play that card, but, ya know - I am very, very used to being misunderstood and then bullied or ridiculed for whatever misinterpretation is funniest or sounds the snappiest for a crowd. I am prone to overexplaining to avoid this - in case this post didn't make that obvious already. Of course, overexplaining is not a healthy solution and it doesn't even work. It took me a very long time to even begin to accept that ultimately I had no control.

The conclusion I eventually came to, after years of trying to find the perfect way to comport myself so I would never, ever be hurt in this way again, is that there is no way to do that. People can always choose to read you in the most uncharitable way possible, to disregard your personhood and turn you into a posterboy for whatever crack or hot take they want to use you for. However, the flawed premise I was operating under was that, if I failed to be 100% understood, I would deserve whatever shittiness followed because I had failed to prevent it.

And I don't. Nobody does, ever. Pain is not a thing made okay by deserving. I understand why they reacted the way they did to me, but what they did was wrong. It was unnecessarily cruel and harsh and it came unprovoked. I feel bad right now because someone hurt me because they thought it was morally righteous to do so, and even if I didn't comport myself flawlessly and beyond reproach, I didn't deserve to be hurt.

So I feel shitty right now, but I managed to have a nice evening regardless and hopefully I can digest this bad mood fast enough that I stop dreading checking my notes. Thanks to the people who unprompted sent me cute pet pics.

#asks #not aurora #personal

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wot-tidbits · 4 months

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I'm trying to decide why Rand going off on his own in S2 feels so much more like abandoning his friends than when he leaves to find Callandor in TDR. In both, he's kind of doing it to keep them safe from him (although in S2 he isn't keeping *everyone* safe, just his friends). I know at the end of S1 he had his Book 12 revelation that Egwene is a human who can make her own choices. And then decides "it's better if they think I'm dead". I might just be being uncharitable here (I don't like the show much), but it feels like S2 is more *selfish* than in TDR, where he is actually making a huge personal sacrifice to leave them behind.

Hello!

I am also trying to decide why Rand would do such thing in Season 2 as it doesn't make sense.

"more like abandoning his friends than when he leaves to find Callandor in TDR. In both, he's kind of doing it to keep them safe from him"

Here the key detail is "kind of" but not exactly. In TDR Rand abandons his friends because he has a goal - to reach Tear and to see if the prophecy is true and to accept the role of the Dragon. His abandoment is actually a quest to acknowledge his role in the Pattern and to stop fighting it as he wants to do it on his own terms. In previous two books he is forced to do it by someone else and his friends are put in real danger which he witnesses twice. He abandons them because he has experience.

In the beginning of Season 2 he doesn't have quest and he doesn't acknowledge his role and his friends are not put in real danger as far as he knows. Egwene was just a vision and Rand did not even check what happens with the trolloc attack. Rand does not have experience why he is doing it. We are being told instead of being shown.

Rand's quest in Cairhien is for what exactly? Logain to teach him the One Power. Ok. And? Where we see that he has any goal after that? Where we see that he is still confused if he is the Dragon? He doesn't have any inner struggles with that information. His struggle is only outside - what Aes Sedai would do with him, what the friends would do with him, what Lanfear would do with him. He doesn't have any goal than just keeping low profile. There is a reason why Lanfear did the reveal in TSR and not before - Rand was not ready for that event. Robert Jordan knew that.

We know that the writers do not trust its audience and they insist that things must be done ahead of time or the show "won't make it". This was completely wrong motivation to show us why Robert Jordan knew what he was doing with the pieces of the puzzle what fits when and where.

There is nothing uncharitable when you try to figure it out through incompetent storytelling. It is not your fault to feel that way.

Let the Light keep you safe.

LightOne

#wheel of time #ask #season 2 #wot on prime #wheel of time tv series #spoiler

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kipperlillyforpresident · 14 days

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I think it's a little unfair to suggest that it's just protagonist-based morality. Part of the original criticism of Kipperlilly and the Rat Grinders comes from the idea that they were grinding their way to levels. I.E. not helping people. Helping people being what the Bad Kids see as the point of adventuring. Motive is being considered here more than action. Are you doing bad things to help/save people? Or just for your own personal gain? It's the same with the Kalvaxus thing. Riz doesn't start investigating Kalvaxus because he killed his dad; he starts investigating him because girls are going missing. There's a lot of valid criticisms to be had about this season, including how the Rat Grinders are handled. And I don't think this idea of "pure" vs "corrupt" motive was very well-explained or thought through. But I don't think it's a useful critique to draw false equivalencies or wilfully misread aspects of the text

I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one, anon. I truly do feel like this season has revolved around the idea of protagonist-centered morality, and I don't think that's something I can have my view changed on LOL.

I am not willfully misreading aspects of the text, and I do find it uncharitable of you to say that in your ask. You can think my interpretation is dumb as shit, and that's totally fine! You're allowed to think that! But I am not being dishonest about it.

Vis a vis the XP grinding: we learn later that while Jace said they were 'grinding rats' in the wood on the file, what they were actually doing was just getting the killing blows on huge monsters that Porter was killing for them. So... it feels like the metaphor kind of falls apart? Yeah, they weren't helping people. They were being used in a plot by an evil teacher.

I could be misremembering some details about that - so if I am wrong, please do correct me. I have never found the Killing Small Rats to be a damning part of their problems, personally.

#asks

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