Ivankov's Drag Race
I watch a lot of RuPaul's Drag Race 'cause I love drag and reality TV and I'm queer as fuck. So here's the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written for day 4 of @sanusoweek, presented 100% on-time :P
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Welcome to season 12 of Ivankov's Drag Race; a reality show where a group of drag artists compete to snatch the crown and win a prize of $150,000!
JUDGES: Ivankov (Host & Main Judge), Bon Clay, and Inazuma. Every week they are joined by famous drag artists, fashion icons, musicians, and queer allies, who share their opinions and provide feedback.
COMPETITORS: Sanji, Usopp, Brook, Doll, Caesar Clown, Pudding, Chuu, Helmeppo, Izo, Bartolomeo, Buggy the Clown, Catarina, and Perona.
WEEK ONE: The first episodes of the season are a double premiere where the performers show off their talents, personalities, and personal styles. No eliminations.
WEEK TWO: This week the competitors are participating in a scripted acting challenge. As the top two performers during the talent show, Brook and Izo are appointed team captains and choose their teams.
Team Brook includes Sanji, Usopp, Pudding, Bartolomeo, and Perona. Team Izo has Buggy, Caesar, Helmeppo, Doll, Catarina, and Chuu. The winner of the week is Usopp!
The audience gets their first glimpse of the Sanji-Pudding-Usopp love triangle as both Usopp and Pudding bond with Sanji during the challenge.
Chuu and Doll are in the bottom and lip sync for their lives, ultimately resulting in Chuu being eliminated.
WEEK THREE: This week, the contestants are challenged to design and create a runway outfit that represents their drag persona. Sanji is stressed because he wears pretty looks, he doesn't sew them. He sidles over to his new friend Usopp and doesn't hesitate to flirt with him in hopes of getting some help creating his look. Usopp flirts back and is more than happy to provide some assistance. In the confessionals, Pudding reveals that she isn't happy that Sanji went to Usopp for help when her style is so much better than his.
Perona wins the challenge and Bartolomeo absolutely demolishes Helmeppo in the lip sync and sends him home.
WEEK FOUR: The contestants are split into teams to pitch a television show of their creation. (Sanji & Pudding, Buggy & Usopp, Izo & Catarina, Barto & Perona, and Doll, Brook, & Caesar).
Buggy and Usopp share a win after they deliver a hilarious performance. Doll and Caesar have a massive disagreement which affects their performance in the challenge and lands them in the bottom. Their argument in Untucked goes down in Drag Race herstory. Doll is sent home after lipsyncing against Caesar.
WEEK FIVE: This week is the much-anticipated girl group challenge! Sanji, Usopp, Barto, Perona, and Izo perform a high-energy pop number while Buggy, Brook, Catarina, Caesar, and Pudding dance to sultry, seductive choreo.
Sanji is this week's winner and after battling Buggy, Caesar is sent home.
WEEK SIX: In the second of the season's design challenge, the contestants must create a runway look worthy of royalty. Once again, Sanji finds his way over to Usopp for assistance and a round of flirting. A jealous Pudding comments that Sanji should ask for help from someone who actually has a good sense of style since Usopp's taste level has come into question in the past. Cue passive-aggressive comments from both of them throughout the rest of the episode.
Izo is this week's winner and Catarina is sent home after losing to Buggy in the lip sync.
WEEK SEVEN: At the halfway point of the competition, the girls do celebrity impersonations for the infamous Snatch Game challenge.
Usopp's amazing impersonations gain him another challenge win. There is a sweet moment between him and Sanji in Untucked when he encourages a stressed-out Sanji who landed in the bottom three.
Izo is sent home after an emotional lip sync with Sanji.
WEEK EIGHT: This week, the remaining competitors perform in a musical! As last week's winner, Usopp is given the power to assign roles, which doesn't bode well for Pudding, who has been planting seeds of doubt in the mind of an anxious Usopp.
Brook wins the challenge after his spectacular performance as the lead in the musical. Pudding wins against Perona in a lipsync that many fans think should've been a double shantay.
WEEK NINE: The competitors show off three runway looks for the Grand Line Ball! The first look is Marine Madness and the second is Pirate Couture, both brought from home. The third look, Devil Fruitiness, must be created in the workroom and to no one's surprise, Sanji is over by Usopp's workstation. He seems to have learned a lot from his lessons from Usopp though, so they spend their time laughing and flirting as they create their looks.
Pudding wins the challenge and Buggy wins his lipsync over Bartolomeo.
WEEK TEN: The top five queens give makeovers to young queers, putting them in drag and creating a family resemblance between them.
After getting negative critiques, Pudding has a bit of a breakdown in Untucked this week, taking her frustrations out on Usopp and resulting in a heated argument. Brook calms down Usopp and Sanji reels in Pudding.
Sanji wins his second challenge and Buggy is sent home after an intense lipsync against Pudding.
WEEK ELEVEN: In the last challenge before the finale, the remaining four competitors are prompted to write, record, and perform a verse to Ivankov's original song, Revolution.
Brook wins the challenge with one of the best verses and performances in Drag Race herstory. Usopp and Pudding land in the bottom and perform an iconic lipsync that ultimately sends Pudding home.
WEEK TWELVE: Before the finale, all of the competitors return for a reunion episode hosted by Ivankov going over all of the season's drama. Pudding is called out by Perona and Bartolomeo for being two-faced and treating Usopp poorly. Ivankov puts the spotlight on Sanji, who is in the middle of the drama between Pudding and Usopp. The Doll vs. Caesar altercation is also re-hashed and goes unresolved.
WEEK THIRTEEN: In front of a live audience, the top three competitors Sanji, Brook, and Usopp do a performance of their choice in a final bid for the crown, which ultimately goes to............ BROOK!!!!!!
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To the delight of audiences everywhere, Sanji and Usopp enter into a romantic relationship after the show had finished filming (so by the time the season aired, they'd been dating for about a year!). The fanfiction that is written about them is insane and Sanji is begging Usopp to stop reading it, damn it! They have also resolved the issue between themselves and Pudding and are now very close friends.
Sanji and Usopp go on to star in several other reality shows, their popularity growing with each appearance they make. They become one of the most iconic couples in television history and go down as queer icons.
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Barbie in the Nutcracker: First Thoughts
The following is my thoughts while watching this for the first time.
Credits look awful. Still, it’s 2001 and this is the first installment so I’ll give it a pass.
Only know the basic Nutcracker song and theme but nice that it uses an orchestra
Barbie herself doesn’t look too bad but her little sis… yikes.
Kinda weird to see these dolls moving like mocap performers.
Heh! Barbie’s voice actor has the same name as her little sister.
Kelly very clearly sounds like an adult woman trying to do a kiddish voice.
Lipsyncing is odd, looks more like generic flapping.
Surprisingly decent snow effects.
I’m assuming Clara’s parents are either dead or abandoned them. Or they could also just be on vacation.
Is it wrong that I find Grandpa cute? Gives off a very distinguished vibe. Especially that voice.
They call gingerbread houses “christmas boxes”? That’s… interesting.
Kinda wish they gave Clara a different voice from Barbie, or at the very least a different hairstyle.
The lighting is actually pretty good! Nice warm hues, makes me feel like I’m at a cozy inn.
Her little brother looks like the kids who played Fortnite and would tease me in high school. Of course his name is fuckin’ Tommy.
This CGI is reminding me of early PS2 cutscenes.
Aunt Drosselmayer’s got that 90’s Leo DiCaprio/Hugh Grant parting in her hair. Bleh.
Why is Clara the only blonde in the family?
Ooh! We’ve got some family drama between Auntie and Grandpa. This is getting juicy.
Elizabeth is giving me confident bisexual vibes with the voice and manner of movement. Bet you that’s why Grandpa doesn’t trust her.
Looking at the wiki I just found out that Trixie’s VA voices the Aunt, Starlight’s VA is Barbie and Cadence’s VA is one of the kids! Must be a Canadian production.
I will never not find the word “nutcracker” to be hilarious.
Clara, why tf are you fighting over a toy with your lil brother? You’re like… 17? 18? I dunno but it’s way too old.
Seriously they gave Tommy the most punchable face ever. Not that I’d ever punch a kid but I can see why other kids his age would deck him.
Magic shenanigans are ensuing.
I like the medeival look of the rats. The CGI actually fits them well.
Clara wakes up to see an anthropomorphic warrior rat right next to her eating something and is just like “goddamn it, git ya varmint!” I love it.
Oh, she thinks she’s dreaming. That makes sense to why she’s so calm.
Hmm… I feel like the Rat King should look a bit more evil, and larger as well. Still, TIM CURRY! I’m gonna LOVE this.
Woah! We’re getting a fight scene! A swordfighting scene to be exact!
Oooh the Rat King’s magic and can shapeshift his weapon. That’s metal AF.
Tim Curry putting everything into his performance as usual.
I’m kinda surprised we’re already getting a Nutcracker-Rat King battle. I’d have thought they’d save that sorta thing until the third act.
Did they really have to change it to Sugarplum Princess? Fairy just sounds more powerful.
Wow! This snowy cave is beautiful! Something out of a classic painting.
EWWW THESE LIL SNOW FAIRIES LOOK DISGUSTING!
Did this nutfucker not realize that an icy fortress would have ice for the walls?
The fairies doing ballet looks weird because they have nothing to stand on.
Please don’t tell me the small fairy is staying, I hate her.
Dance is currently reminding me of Fantasia.
“The fairies probably went off to make a blizzard somewhere”. The way he said that nonchalantly had me cackling.
The effect of Clara’s footsteps turning into flowers is beautiful.
Pimm sounds like he’s an absolute troll online. Also gives me Psychicpebbles vibes (though I know it’s not him).
Wow the Rat King is a straight up genocider.
Why do all the kids look like Kelly?
OH DEAR GOD THAT LITTLE BOY LOOKS HORRIFYING.
Wait Prince Eric? Are they legally allowed to call him that? We all know how much Disney loves copyrights.
Man these kids are little shits and their outfits are gagworthy.
Major Mint definitely got a big personality, and the voice actor does a good job with it.
Ok Mint is hilarious and is so far the best part of the movie.
Nice to see some Asian rep with Captain Candy.
Wow, Rat King turns his failed employees into stone. Dark!
The zoom in on the Rat King as he says “that’s it?” made me giggle.
Thomas Astruc looked at the Rock Golem and got his first idea for an akuma.
Wait how the hell does Clara know that the Nutcracker is Prince Eric? I mean I already assumed because of the plot of the original ballet, but how does she know?!
The bridge scene gives me the willies, since I’m afraid of heights.
Wow this flower fairy is the only kid-looking character that has a decent design.
Didn’t expect a song to be interrupted by an enemy.
Lol, the Major’s monocle falls off as he sees the giant.
Glad to see the fairies serve a purpose other than dancing. Kick that giant’s ass!
Captain Candy’s a better man than Mint, as he actually makes sure that he gets saved.
Once again, the island is beautiful! Reminds me of Oz with the colored roads.
Ooh clever! At first I thought the castle’s backdrop looked really fake but I just factored it was because it’s 2001 CGI. But it was actually a trap!
Nice we see a test of Clara’s character that she passed.
The invisble hand touching Clara’s hand is actually making me feel kinda teary-eyed internally.
The Rat King definitely has a Napoleon complex.
Loving the character arc for Nutcracker with his final duel.
Ah! So now the Rat King is growing. Fits for the climax.
Huh… Prince Eric looks more like Jimmy Pesto than a prince.
Lol Major Mint realizes he’s been shittalking the prince.
Huh, so Clara’s the princess? I guess it sorta makes sense since it’s her dream.
For those princes out there who are hated by the public, all ya gotta do is fight a giant mouse.
Mint and Candy got the moves! Best dancers of the entire movie.
The final dance between Eric and Clara is absolutely gorgeous.
The villain was taken down by a snowball… I love it.
God Kelly Sheridan and Kirby Morrow really put everything into the scene where Clara disappears.
Lol Kelly’s Canana accent shows up when she says “It’s not a story”.
“What’s all this foolishness about mice kings and bats, Clara? Enough of your womenly hysteria! Time for a lobotomy!” Grandpa, basically.
Actually now that he’s in a suit, Eric looks a lot hotter.
I’m surprised Barbie’s little sister had the attention span to listen to a 1 hour story.
I'll be making a full review of the film soon. Let me know thoughts in the comments and reblogs. @artzychic27 @msweebyness
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