#literally wrote this instead of sleeping

[hotchscvm]

leaked nudes

pt. 2

pairings: aaron hotchner x reader

summary: while looking at crime scene pictures on your phone, aaron swipes too far left and discovers some … sexy photos.

word count: 1.4k (short one)

warnings: nudes, masturbation, aaron jizzing in his pants like a teen, pervy aaron

This particular case had the whole team restless. Other than one lead that turned out to be useless as the suspect had an airtight alibi, there was nothing else that pointed where the unsub was. Thankfully, it seemed like his time in between kills was increasing, though that did very little to ease the team.

The precinct was almost empty, save for the few officers working the night shift and the team spread out around the conference room. Rossi was nursing a coffee, wishing it was whiskey. Emily sprawled out on the floor, the case file resting on her stomach. JJ sat sleeping in her chair, a blanket laid over her. Spencer was going over the details of the case while Derek stared at his file, unmoving.

You were positive he had fallen asleep with his eyes open.

Aaron sat next to you, a cup of coffee in his hand while he reviewed the case. You had given up trying to focus, taking a break as you played Tetris on your phone. Every few minutes, Aaron would glance at you before smiling and focusing back on his file.

After losing another game, you placed your phone on the table, leaning back in exhaustion. Looking around you, you were certain everyone except Rossi, Spencer, and Aaron were clocked out for the night. Derek was about ten minutes away from smacking his head on the table when his head slips from his hands.

Aaron flips through his file, brows furrowing. He looks around the messy table, searching for something in particular as you watched him with curiosity. “Where are the crime scene pictures from this morning’s victim?”

“Sheriff said their printer broke so they couldn’t print them out. I took a few pictures on my phone if you want to see them.” You motioned to your phone, yawning. Looking over at JJ, you resisted the urge to snatch the blanket from her.

He picks up your phone, swiping. “What’s your password?”

“Twelve thirty-four.”

Aaron paused, his lips twitching as he turned to look at you. “One, two, three, four?”

“It’s not like I have anything to hide,” you grumbled, ignoring his soft chuckle.

He put in the passcode, bringing him to the unclosed game of Tetris you were previously playing. Aaron couldn’t help but be amused at the high score before closing out and opening your photos. In your recents were the crime scene pictures he was looking for.

Aaron had swiped through the photos, trying to find a deviation from the killer’s MO but it looked the same as his previous victims. Maybe you had taken too many pictures of the body because he kept swiping left, looking at all the angles you had taken. The crime scene pictures had to end eventually but he was too sleep deprived to realize he’d eventually come across one of your other photos.

So he wasn’t prepared when he swiped to the left and instead of being met with another photo of the victim, it was one of you in skimpy clothing. Thankfully, he hadn’t been drinking his coffee as he saw it since he still managed to choke on his own saliva. Aaron’s eyes widened at the risque picture, sitting up, suddenly alert.

During him looking at the crime scene pictures, you had gotten up and walked to the vending machines. From where he sat, he could see you kick the machine in hopes of free food. The only one to witness his change of behavior was Rossi as Spencer was too engrossed in his reading, who had raised an eyebrow at his reaction.

In the photo, you were in a lacy black bra with a matching thong, bent over your bed. You had taken the picture facing the mirror, your back arched and ass up–on your knees and your clothing barely covering your essentials. Aaron swore he could see your nipples through the laced bra.

Curious, and driven by his hardening cock, Aaron swiped more. His breath hitched at the site of you topless, with just a pair of boxers on. A pair of his boxers. He remembered you shamelessly asking him for some shorts out of his go bag as you had forgotten to repack your sleep clothes and he had given you his boxers, blushing all the while.

As he stared at your breasts, he grew hard. He knew he should stop and close out, respecting your privacy and all, but he couldn’t. He physically couldn’t bring himself to look away let alone put the phone down.

He swiped again, this time you covered your bare breasts with one hand. You lay on your bed, naked yet what Aaron desperately wanted to see was covered by a discarded shirt that laid between your legs. The sun hit your body right, sunbeams illuminating your hair and despite the sensual position, he couldn’t help but think of how beautiful you are.

Looking up, he saw you were still bullying the vending machine and he couldn’t help but sigh in relief. He didn’t want you to see him being … perverted was the only word that came to him that described the situation perfectly.

Aaron couldn’t meet Rossi’s eyes as he took a sip of his coffee, careful to swallow it right. He pushed the chair into the table, concealing his rock-hard cock. His polyester suit pants rubbed against his cock, and he hissed quietly at the friction, wanting to head to the bathroom with your phone in hand to fix his situation.

He remained seated, pulling up your phone again in the hopes that he looked like he was going through the crime scene pictures, the reason you granted him permission to look through your phone.

He’s thinking about stopping, his finger shaking, urging him to swipe one more time while a small part of him screams to stop. Aaron swipes anyways.

His exhale is ragged as he sees your pussy for the first time. The video plays on mute and he almost combusts right then and there as you slowly finger yourself. You’re in a hotel room, your shirt bunched around your tits, a hand playing with a nipple. Aaron watches your index finger enter your dripping cunt, the wetness visible on camera. He has to bite his fist as you slowly slid it in and out, biting your lip at the feeling.

As you take your finger out, he watches your hand pinched your nipples, eyes narrowing at the shirt you had on. As you inserted a second finger into your sopping pussy, Aaron realized it was his shirt. A small, barely audible groan escaped his lips at the revelation. Video you had arched your back, mouth opening as you fucked yourself with two fingers. He could barely keep it together at the thought of you wearing his shirt as you fingered yourself.

He can’t take his eyes off your show, unknowingly palming himself with his free hand. Aaron watches in awe as you pump your fingers faster, unable to decide whether to watch the ecstasy on your face or your pussy swallowing your fingers in greed. The video is a minute from ending and he’s mesmerized at the screen.

So mesmerized he hadn’t noticed you come back into the room with a bunch of snacks in your arms. He jumped slightly as you dropped the snacks onto the table, quickly closing out your photos and placing your phone on the table.

You smiled at him, noticing the redness in his cheeks and ears. “I come back from battle with a feast.”

He nods, subtly fixing his pants under the table. Aaron doesn’t dare speak a word, knowing well enough that his mouth was dry.

Picking up a bag of goldfish, you threw it at Spencer’s face, breaking him out of his own world before getting a bag of Chex Mix and handing it out to your boss. “Here, Hotch.”

Your hand touches his as you give him the snack. From the video, a small touch and you saying his name, he cums in his pants. His hands wrap tightly around the bag, Chex Mix flying to the floor as the bag pops. His climax hits him hard, spurts of his cum wetting his pants and euphoria washing through him in powerful waves.

When he comes down from his high, he sees the whole team wake up, staring at the snack littering the floor and table. You glanced at him, confused, grimacing at the mess.

Aaron cleared his throat, slowly putting the bag on the table. “I don’t like Chex Mix.”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner smut #criminal minds #literally wrote this instead of sleeping

[honeycinnamon]

Chapters: 2 of 17

Fandom:  Avatar (Cameron Movies)

Relationships:  Aonung/Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan/Tsireya, Rotxo/Kiri te Suli Kireysi'ite

Characters:  Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, Kiri te Suli Kireysi'ite, Tuktirey te Suli Neytiri'ite, Aonung (Avatar), Tsireya (Avatar), Rotxo (Avatar), Jake Sully, Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite

Additional tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, Alien Biology, Friends With Benefits, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Top Aonung (Avatar), Bottom Neteyam, Porn With Plot, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Light Bondage, Dirty Talk, Aftercare, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pillow Talk, Praise Kink, Biting, Frottage, Pet Names, Hurt/Comfort, Bonding, Light Dom/sub, Overstimulation, Size Kink, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan Has a Small Waist, Possessive Aonung (Avatar)

“Do you like when I call you pretty, paskalin?” he taunted.

“No,” Neteyam squeaked, pressing his flushed face into his arms.

Those fingers picked up speed as Ao’nung told him, “There’s no point in lying, your sweet, little cunt is gonna tell me the truth.”

Before the smaller man opened his mouth to argue, the fingers inside of him bent and brushed against the bundle of nerves buried deep inside of him. So, instead of arguing, he moaned, “More, please. I need more.”

The Metkayina’s fingers continued fucking into Neteyam, neglecting that bundle of nerves as he inquired, “You’ll get more soon. Right now, you’re gonna be my good boy and take what I give you. You can do that, right? Be my good boy?”

Without an ounce of shame, Neteyam nodded and buried his burning face into his arms, nearly sobbing when Ao’nung stopped his ministrations. Lips brushed against his ear as the Metkayina whispered, “Good boys speak when they’re spoken to. Now, tell me, are you gonna be my good boy?”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll be good. I’ll be so good,” Neteyam whined, pushing back against the fingers that had stilled inside of him.

“Great mother, your fluttering around my fingers so sweetly, paskalin,” Ao’nung hummed, moving his fingers within the Omoticaya again.

#avatar: twow #avatar #aonung x neteyam #neteyam x aonung #aonunete #fanfic #i got a little carried away #literally wrote this instead of sleeping #but on another note #IT IS FINISHED MY LOVES

[wylanslcve]

Okay don't mind me I'm in the middle of a Crooked Kingdom reread and feel overwhelmingly inclined to rant about Jesper Fahey because this fandom just doesn't give him the treatment he deserves. I'm specifically going to incoherently ramble about the scene in Crooked Kingdom where he, Colm and Wylan are being shot at because I feel like that scene is representative of Jesper's arc - but, before we dive into that, let me contextualise a few things first. Jesper does things for the thrill of it: he thrives off chaos and spontaneity, hence why he "always felt better when people were shooting at him". It's because the sound of gunfire "called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else" - and it also provides a distraction from his pain and trauma, because whenever he'd think about it, "everything in him recoiled. Trying not to die was the best possible distraction". Whenever anything to do with his past or his debt is brought up, "his hands returned to his revolvers" because he found himself "longing for the cool, familiar feel of their pearl handles beneath his thumbs". It steadies him as much as it possibly can when he's not in a dangerous situation, momentarily calling his mind into focus, an attempt at distracting himself from his afflictions.

Based off similar instances, the scene in Crooked Kingdom where he, Wylan and Colm are being shot at should have brought him that same satisfaction that any other shooting would. He "should be buzzing from the excitement of the fight. The thrill was still there, fizzing through his blood, but beside it was a cold, unfamiliar sensation that felt like it was draining the joy from him." What makes this situation so different to the others is that he can't ignore his problems and trauma now: it's staring him right in the face. Colm is right there. The thrill of the fight doesn't feel the same because "all he could think was, Da could have been hurt. He could have died." And we know that Jesper's debt would cost Colm the jurda farm Jesper grew up on, forcing him to acknowledge the reality of his problems: with Colm being right there, Jesper just can't ignore his afflictions because all he could think about is how his father would "suffer for his antics". If you ask me, this is so representative of his character arc as a whole.

This is further emphasised by how he's reflecting on the first time he spun Makker's Wheel right before this ambush, its intention being merely "harmless fun", but it ended up evolving into an addiction that "split [his life] like a log into two distinct and uneven pieces: the time before he’d stepped up to that wheel and every day since". The rush of a high-stakes situation is the equivalent of the "harmless fun" - it's a thrill that Jesper enjoys feeling, but in reality it's doing much more harm because it's preventing him from acknowledging and facing his pain. And he's indeed in so much pain: there's so much anguish inside of him, but he'd do anything to distract himself from it because the reality is just too painful.

This is where the tables come in: later in Crooked Kingdom, when the crew are being ambushed by the Khergud, Jesper "could feel the pull of East Stave" because he didn't have anything else to occupy his mind with. Then, the minute he thinks about facing his father, "the need to be at the tables was overwhelming" because he desperately needs to distract himself from the reality of his circumstances: "since Kaz hadn't obliged him with something to shoot at, Jesper needed a pair of dice and long odds to clear his mind". He can't use the ambush as a distraction, so the tables it is. As Inej tells him, "they feel like medicine. They soothe you, put you right for a time. But they’re poison, Jesper. Every time you play, you take another sip." This isn't the first time poison has been used to represent something that is preventing the Crows from healing - we also see it with Matthias, when he tells Brum in Six of Crows, "the life you live, the hate you feel - it's poison. I can drink it no longer". Just like how the exploitation of Matthias' grief and pain as a means of fueling hatred prevented him from healing because it kept exacerbating the anguish within him (he had to stop drinking the poison to do so), Jesper's addiction - and, by extension, the thrill of a high-stakes situation - prevents him from acknowledging the wound inside him and working towards healing it. It gets to the extent where “he had always thought of himself as lucky… what if he’d been bluffing this whole time?” - he’s gotten so used to suppressing his pain that he, in a way, loses sense of who he is. His façade has distorted his perception of himself. It's not until Colm arrives in the Barrel that Jesper is forced to acknowledge just how deep that wound is and how much it's festering - just like how he couldn't even feel the thrill of a fight properly because of the possibility of his father getting hurt.

That scene is one of many cracks that start to form as Jesper continues to bottle up all of this pain and trauma, until he finally breaks when Wylan proposes that he's such a good shot because being a Fabrikator allows him to direct the metal of the bullets. Jesper protests, asking Wylan why he can't "just let things be easy" - why can't he just let him keep ignoring his problems, when it's so much easier than facing them? But Wylan stands his ground, explaining that "they’re not easy... You keep pretending everything is okay. You move on to the next fight or the next party. What are you afraid is going to happen if you stop?" This is why Matthias calls Jesper “angry and frightened” - he’s afraid of stopping, because he knows stopping means that he’s forced to face the reality that he’s deeply wounded. This is when he finally breaks under the burden of his own pain, under the reality that he can't keep ignoring it anymore - hence why he chooses to put his share of the reward in Colm's name because, as he explains to Kaz, "I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of money just yet". For the first time, he's acknowledging his problems and working towards fixing them, no matter how much time it takes (because trauma and addiction don't just disappear overnight).

n e ways this ended up being significantly longer than anticipated but this is what happens when I start analysing these books: it snowballs out of control and suddenly I can’t shut up.

#look at me going on my silly little rants again #i wrote this instead of sleeping #i might have missed a few things but again i haven't finished my reread yet so this is all i've got for you today #i just love jesper fahey okay #i would do anything for him #literally anything #and call me bold for saying this #but he deserves a fandom that treats him better #jesper fahey #kit young #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone season two #shadow and bone season three #six of crows spin off #soc spin off #leigh bardugo #meta #soc meta #six of crows analysis #soc analysis #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar

[drpoisonoaky]

I made something a little different out of nowhere.

I always write Zuko, Ty Lee and Mai as people who care or cared about Azula but i wanted to try something new.

Unconditional love (2601 words) by drpoisonoaky Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Azula/Katara (Avatar) Characters: Azula (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar), Mai (Avatar), Ty Lee (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar), Ursa (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) Additional Tags: Azula needs a hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, nobody really loved or cared about her, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a Happy Ending, i think so, it's kinda sad thought, Past Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Past Aang/Katara (Avatar), Minor Mai/Zuko (Avatar), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping Series: Part 18 of Kazula short stories Summary: Everyone talks about unconditional love or the simple fact of being loved. Azula never knew what that was. or A little story about how Azula has been betrayed her whole life and how Katara helps her to love and be loved.

#if you need fire siblings comfort don’t read this #or tyzula comfort #or maizula #literally only azutara comfort #avatar the last airbender #atla #azula #katara #azutara #kazula #hurt/comfort #I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping #my fics

[balkanbitch]

You want to know what I think about almost everyday? How different Natsu and fairy tail as a show would be if Natsu was a girl

Cause like think about. The world of fairy tail (like many anime worlds) is pretty sexist and shitty towards women. Almost every man in the show is a weirdo in one way or another. The world also has high expectations for women and how they should be/look. Sexualizing them at every given moment

Now imagine this little girl coming in to this world who never had to deal with the things like gender/sex (We don't know much about dragon culture but there seems little to no distinction between male and female dragons or differences in society ranking based on gender) now having these weird expectations put on her to act a certain way.

We rarely see any women who even have a similar personality to Natsu but Natsu is cocky and constantly challenging people. Could you imagine a girl trying to that in a world like fairy tail? Like we see other women like Erza do stuff like that but the thing is she has the power to back it up. Season 1/pre show Natsu doesn't, she gets beat by her stronger guildmates all the time. The world is already cruel to the women in it so could you picture how it would be to a women who tries to challenge more powerful opponents and then keeps losing over and over. The men who'd beat in her in combat would probably draw it out just to humiliate and embarrass her and then say stuff like "weak little girl needs to know her place." Or not even acknowledge her like "I'm not fighting a girl" And she would be just so confused cause like why are these people shaming her for her gender? Why don't they respect her like they do other men they beat? Why is she being targeted for something she can't control?

I feel like this would make her much more aggressive/angry than Natsu already is. She would be really violent when she fought, putting everything in every attack just in hopes of winning and being respected like her fellow guildmates/wizard. Over the years she builds a reputation of being brutal and violent in her fights. We don't see many female characters that have a fighting style like Natsu (besides mira and a few others) so it'd be a shock. Many would tell her she needs to tone it down and that she needs to be more elegant when she fights. But she doesn't want to fight like that. She wants to fight like how she was taught. She sees how people who fight like that don't get nearly as much respect as their male counterparts. And She'd do anything for her to be respected, to be praised for someone to see her as strong and capable like Igneel did.

#this doesn't even get in how it would this would change her relationships with her friends and guildmates #i think about this like a lot it's unreal #actually my roman empire #i wrote this instead of sleeping #i literally couldn't sleep i needed to write this #lucy if called a tomboy for sometime raising her voice and sticking up for herself... female Natsu would not stand a chance bro #this is kinda dumb but i can't stop thinking about it #believe of not this is barely a quarter of the stuff i think about when it comes to genderbent Natsu #fairy tail anime #fairy tail natsu #fairy tail #natsu dragneel #natsu #genderbend #i did not check for spelling #dumb ramblings #yall can ignore this #cleaning out my drafts

[larabar]

Sonic the Hedgehog and why he's impossible to write Perfectly

(including me i could not get him right if my life depended on it)

is this me giving up on trying to find the perfect way to write him? Maybe

i've been making lots and lots of notes on a bunch of his characterizations and the differences between them, including what makes any of them Better than the others and it's been .inconclusive

but i think ive found the problem. i can't accurately describe him as a character in general in one sentence without getting too specific or listing stuff like 'fast'

and i think that's one of the only things that stays consistent between all the different media he's in

one of my favorite examples of all this is sonic's lack of a solid theme. he has themes, yes. but they change with every game and tend to be the main theme Of the game. not just sonic. so he doesn't really have one of his own like most other characters.

just gonna plug this video again. it talks about sonic leitmotifs and character themes and how they're used to define each character and it's really cool check it out :]

all this comes with a blessing and a curse. there's always someone who will like one characterization and someone else who will Absolutely Despise it. and honestly that's just sonic's thing. especially with sonic media as a whole

there are definitely ways to mess up sonic's character. it's been done many times. but that's when the writers completely dismiss sonic's core values (but let's be honest even those are flexible and everyone still does them differently)

so. if someone has the golden formula to writing sonic please please please i am on my hands and knees i need to know how it's done

but until i figure it out. im just gonna stick to this. ->

TLDR: sonic is so complex and so simple at the same time and i cannot find any one way to describe him. there are infinite ways to write him and it's honestly better to just not worry about getting it perfect and have fun with it :]

#this is actually just a cry for help /j #i dont know how people do it there are so many good versions of this character but theyre all so different !! #but they all work an can be easily identified as Sonic #i think thats why he works so well as a main character without being a silent protagonist like link #he's flexible. he works with literally any story you drop him in #like. ok mild sonic frontiers spoilers #the main cast each has their own koco and they're all different and reflect each character #knux having a warrior amy having .a lover idk. and tails with a mechanic #they all can be matched with a character so easily ! #except. sonics just has A Leaf on its head. no fancy stuff. just a standard koco #and!! it works!! somehow skdnfjf #like theres no other koco that would work better #his koco buddy is just kind of A Guy. a guy who loves adventure if you will ajdbd #because thats who sonic is! just a guy who loves adventure! !! theres not much else to it #wxcept hes not just a blank slate he has personality #going back to the twitter takeover question about what sonics memory token would look like and #none if the other characters could come up with a decisive symbol. tails probably had the best idea out of the bunch #a star. because thats what sonic is to him and the others #its; so cut;e man..... .. #um. but anyways. i wrote all this instead of sleeping ahdbfh #if anyone want to add please do i love hearing everyone else's thoughts on this. its the whole point actually #gonna go to bed soon though so. gn #sonic the hedgehog #rambles #gif

[cagethemunson]

i saw joe keery on the dash and was like "gio is back 🥳" but then i got into your profile and realized i've been scrolling through and liking some of your posts for a couple days without knowing it was you lol

I love how joe keery was how you found me after days of other posts lmfao 😭

#I literally went ‘wait didn’t vi like one of my posts yesterday?’ lol #but YESSSS #idk how active I’m going to be from now on #because this is only me missing reading fanfics #because I really don’t have time or energy to be online instead of sleeping 😭 #wrote because 2x help #this is me slowly stopping to know English after months without using it #ask #lizvi

[leon-doggo]

Soooooo I accidentally just wrote a ~1300 word fic for a silly little idea during the recovery era of my Fight Dogz AU instead of going to sleep like I planned to.. and it’s 3:45 in the morning… and I have to get up at 8:30… so enjoy I guess!! I’m also making a short comic based on this because this idea has been eating at my brain for some reason. Head warnings very carefully and read at your own discretion!!!

TW: mentions of animal death, depression, mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, mentions of dog fights

Father-son bonding time over movies with very healthy amounts of concern, very much based off of interactions I have with my mom of the same caliber

Splinter happily sat up in bed, turning the page of his newest romance novel. He was just getting to the part of the woman discovering she was deeply in love with the business man when a shadow came over him. His ear flicked in alarm of the sudden intruder until he looked up and saw Leonardo standing in his doorway. It was still very new to see the young boys standing on two feet, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the wolves were still getting used to it from their awkward stature.

A lighthearted jab sat at the tip of the rat’s tongue until he fully took in Leonardo’s state; the boy stood in the doorway, his left leg trembling from the lasting injury of his last fight in the Battle Nexus. He wore one of the more well loved hoodies that Splinter knew mostly smelled like him, since he wore it all the time back when he was still acting. He held his portable DVD player that Splinter had gifted him a few years prior as a peace offering, a few movies sitting atop the technology. All of that was good and well, but the dried track of tears were what caught Splinter’s attention.

His boys all struggled with their mental health, but Leo always seemed to be the one most affected by the horrors that followed him from living with Big Mama. Of course he worried about them, but it was really only Michelangelo that had come to him to chase the monsters away.

“Can we uh… can we watch a movie?” Came Leonardo’s voice. His voice seemed to scratch from his throat, protesting its use.

Splinter smiled and moved farther towards the wall to allow the canine into his bed.

“Of course we can. Come, climb in.” He insisted, patting the mattress next to him. Leonardo smiled sheepishly and shuffled over to the bed, the sound of his paws dragging across the stone echoing through the room. He was careful climbing into the bed, mindful of his dvd player and the movies he held while being tentative about entering unfamiliar territory. Usually, if Splinter could hear him, the rat would come and stay in Leo’s room if he was having a bad night of night terrors or flashbacks. This was very new for both of them.

“I thought we could watch that movie, Dirty Dancing?” He muttered, clicking on the device and opening the disc console.

“Ah yes! One of my favorites. That movie had just come out before I was taken into the Hidden City. What an accomplishment that movie was!” Splinter agreed, his hand resting on his white beard. Leo smiled softly as the old rat regaled in his acting days; it was a nice distraction to the thoughts fighting for attention in his head.

Leo was no stranger to the clutches of depression and anxiety. His thoughts often got the best of him on a good day, and he would go to Donnie or Raph when that happened. He didn’t want to force any of his problems onto Mikey, the youngest of them already dealing with his own issues, but his older brothers were always willing to listen to him. Tonight, however, was one of the nights that were downright terrifying. His thoughts screamed at him, reminding him of everything he had done and regrets, the other dogs he had fought almost to their death (some he had fully killed all in the name of the stupid sport he was forced into), demanding he pay for what he had done. One of the first nights they had spent in their new home was one of the worst nights he had experienced, driving him to force his claws into his scars to remind himself of the pain he had caused all of those other dogs and their families (since then, he always kept his nails very short and blunt). There was even a point when he struggled with the motivation to stay alive, his brain demanding he pay for the death of all those others with his own. He had simply returned to his brothers’ sides and snuggled closer into their pile.

Tonight was another horrible night, almost mirroring that initial night in their home. He couldn’t take it, and finally mustered up the courage to look to his dad for help. Though, he couldn’t just talk about how he was feeling, so he had to bring in his favorite distraction.

“Leonardo? Is everything alright, my son?” Splinter’s gentle voice broke through his train of thought, startling him for a moment. He took a deep breath and nodded, beginning the movie.

“It was the summer of 1963, when everybody called me Baby, and it didn’t occur to me to mind.”

They sat in comfortable silence, watching the movie progress in its story. Leo swallowed his pride and snuggled up close to Splinter, maneuvering himself far enough down the bed to tuck his head under the rat’s chin and rest comfortably on his chest. Splinter smiled softly to himself and wrapped an arm around his son, his heart fluttering with pure happiness and pride when he felt Leo’s tail wag ever so slightly under the blanket.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Splinter whispered, turning his full attention to his son. Leo swallowed softly and shrugged, his uneven ears flattening ever so slightly. Splinter shifted gently and looked down at Leonardo, a frown adorning his face.

“What is going on, my son? You can tell me anything.” He muttered, his hand gently running through some tangles in his son’s fur. Leo’s ears flattened more and new tears sprang to his eyes; he didn’t know why, but hearing the genuine care and worry in his dad’s voice broke a hole in the dam.

“I-I… I’m just having a really bad night. My brain won’t shut up.” He whimpered, hiding his face in his sleeve. Splinter’s concern only grew; he understood bad mental health himself, and was well aware of how dangerous it could get when going unaddressed.

“Shut up how? Are you… are you having flashbacks? Nightmares?” He asked softly. Leonardo shook his head, tensing ever so slightly as Splinter’s hand stilled against the back of his neck.

“Are you safe with yourself?” The rat asked, and that forced Leo to look up at his father, tears finally falling at that question. After a few moments of looking at each other, he forced his face into his dad’s chest, shaking his head as he sobbed. Admitting that he didn’t feel safe alone was one of the hardest things for Leonardo to do. He always tried to put on a brave face and tough through it, but there were so many times when he couldn’t.

“Okay… okay…” Splinter whispered, gears turning impossibly fast in his head as he tried to devise the best course of action to help his son.

“I want you to spend the night in here, alright? We can keep watching movies. It looks like you brought quite a few of them!” He requested, offering a small smile as Leo peeked up at him from his sleep shirt, now decorated with small spots of red from the dark red dye that remained over Leonardo’s face markings. The wolf nodded, sniffling and rubbing his eye to dry it.

“Yes please.” He whispered, sounding more like the teenager he was instead of a vicious dog fight champion. Splinter smiled and hugged Leonardo closer, returning his focus to the movie and spotting an old friend that was an extra in the movie. This, of course, set him off on a whole tangent about how they got to meet each other. Leo chuckled softly and snuggled in closer, happy to listen to his father’s crazy tales as long as it took for the voices in his mind to shut up and let him sleep.

#rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #tmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #rottmnt au #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #teenage mutant ninja dogs #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fanfic #fight dogz au #fightdogzau #i wrote this instead of sleeping #literally

[holylottie]

My need to create is actually killing me, I write nonstop for hours, my ideas flow from my head to my lungs, making me out of breath, I'm drowning in art and i love being wet and I'm also afraid of water and I love to create but I hate to feel so much, my fingers keep aching every single moment of my days, I'm tired of it, im tired of having so much to say

#i wonder if there will be a day where i can just think instead of having to make every thought into something useful #i want to just bleed instead of making more red paint out of my wounds #i literally get physically sick thinking about all of them #i love my characters and i also hate how much i need yhem #maybe this is motherhood after all #writing this instead of studying for my final exams #itmighthavebeen rants #actually autistic #audhd #actually audhd #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writing #mentally tired #the other day i wasnt able to sleep until i wrote down my story updates for fucks sake

[camille-lachenille]

When, at the darkest of the night, all hope seems lost, Frodo may be dead, and he is alone in the land of Shadow, Sam still finds in him to sing about Spring in the Shire far away and the brightness of the stars and the sun above the clouds of Mordor. This is but a simple song, a shred of brightness and hope in a place of evil; but it holds all the love Sam has for his homeland, for the beauty of the world he has seen in his dreadful journey, and the acceptance that he may be well walking to his end. But he is not bitter, for the stars will still shine bright in the sky, and the flowers bloom in the Shire, and this is enough to give him strength to go on.

And when, against all odds, Frodo and Sam manage their long and painful way to Mount Doom, he still holds to any shred of hope he can find. There is one passage I have in mind, where Frodo is asleep and Sam watches over him. The air is dense with foul smoke, and the skies hidden by dark clouds, when suddenly the wind briefly parts the clouds and Sam sees the stars for the first time since he entered the Vale of Morgul. They are small and flickering, so distant, but they are still here, eternal and impossible to snuff out. And Sam finds his hope rekindled by this sight, he sees the light within him that the darkness of Mordor had hidden from his very heart, and it gives him the strength to continue.

Sam never loses hope, not even in the darkest place, not even when he stands on the edge of death in the fires of Mount Doom and he knows there will be no return for Frodo and him, he still has hope for their friends and the Shire and the world.

And this unwavering, unstoppable force that is Sam’s hope, is something that speaks deeply to me. I have been in dark places these past years, I still have days where clouds hide the stars and I can barely find in myself to go out of bed, but I think of Sam, and I do it. Because there will be something, no matter how small and brief it is, that will make the day worth going through. I will listen to Sam’s song at the Tower of Cirith Ungol and remember that, somewhere, there is spring awaking and sun shining no matter how I feel, and that is what makes the world a place worth living in. And as Sam would say "There's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

Samwise Gamgee, humble gardener of the Shire and loyal friend, is the greatest hero ever written in the history of literature.

#tolkien #lord of the rings #lotr #the lord of the rings #song #tolkien song #samwise gamgee #samwise the brave #hopeful #hope #i wrote this instead of sleeping #lotr thoughts #half baked ramblings by a sleep deprived tolkien fan #I cannot express how much important Sam is for me #literally #lotr is my therapy at this point #Youtube

[polaraffect]

i need professors to start including their late work policies in syllabi again. i'm trying to make strategic decisions here

#damien.txt #i have an essay due in 4 hours that i have not started. and i did not sleep at all last night #so. at what point do i cut my losses and turn this essay in late. like.... god the concept of trying to write it rn makes me wanna die #but also i probably should right. also bc i have literally 0 idea of what this professor's late policy is #so like..... i'm fucked if he's one of those 'no late work whatsoever' people #and ngl. it's not out of the realm of possibility. he's nice but he also gives 'please send the obituary' when a family member dies vibes #what i really should be doing is trying to write it instead of making this post but like truly i have 0 brain cells right now #i haven't even done any prep work for doing this essay 'like deciding what to right about / choosing quotes #you know what the worst part is? the reason i didn't sleep last night. was because i was anxious about this essay. #i kept trying to tell myself to do it. but i just couldn't make myself do it. and now. here we are #......i really need to get tested for adhd lmaooo #edit: just noticed i wrote 'right' instead of 'write'. brain unintentionally deciding to demonstrate how tired i am lol

[just-absolutely-super]

Sleep so fucked up my fitness band that automatically tracks it couldn’t figure out my hours

#i’ll be suprised if i got more than 4 hours of sleep last night #i could not shut off my brain #i literally wrote a fanfic in my head instead of sleeping #personal

[keineahnung-ichhalt]

I may have written around 1000 words about parallels and similarities between Tatort Saarbrücken and Ace Attorney, but would anyone even be be interested in reading it?

#one day I noticed the similarities and just started writing #they are literally the same story #I'd have to edit parts of the writing though because I wrote it instead of sleeping #ace attorney #tatort saarbrücken #randomly rambling #op keineahnung-ichhalt

[brooklynstar]

Whoopsie I’m writing another thing

#The Flash #cw the flash #Cisco Ramon #Harry Wells #Earth 2 Harrison Wells #Vibe #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #i wrote this instead of sleeping #I love these two characters so much #i’m literally obsessed #i’m literally crying #I’m literally in love with Cisco

[ihyperfixatedtoohard]

I wrote a little thing! Hehe. Stede/Ed thing. Mild mentions of sex, but nothing description heavy, just a little thing. Angst with a happy ending! It's very short, too! Pretty much instant gratification! Anyway, uh... here! (Set after season 1)

Ed sees him there.

In everything.

On the deck in the early morning, waving- smiling like an idiot and fucking waving.

He sees him at night, cold and snuggled up in his old quarters, beckoning him from his ridiculous secret closet that Ed hasn't dared touch since he last went in.

He sees him in his own reflection when he stares into the water over the edge of the ship- his stupidly perfect hair- pristine, as always.

He sees him.

He doesn't stop seeing him.

He curses and blames himself for it, chocking it all up to weakness. He retreats further into himself, hoping he'll stop seeing him. He doesn't.

When Stede does return, he isn't sure he's really there until the rest of the crew reacts, and then he's upon him. Even as they're fighting, swords clashing together, he takes note of every single one of his somehow still perfect features. He's been on a tiny dingy for fucking weeks. How does he still smell like lavender soap?

The fight ends with both being too tired to continue. Stede drops his sword first and goes in for a hug. Ed isn't sure if he should take this moment to stab him or cling to him, so he does neither- just lets himself be surrounded.

It takes months for things to return to something that could be called "normal", but even then, nothing really is. Ed often wonders if the Stede he is seeing and feeling is, in fact, real- if the man he loves is just going to drift away again, like the tide- like seafoam. Stede does his best to reassure Ed, to put back together the pieces he scattered, but it's hard, and slow going. Regardless, Stede is determined. He knows better than to run. He would never run again, not for anything. Nothing could be more important than this.

Ed sees him everywhere.

Curled up beside him, snoring violently, spreading his limbs like he's the only one in the bed.

He sees him, really sees him, when they first truly tumble into bed together. It's sloppy, and it's less romantic than Ed would have liked it to be, but he watches Stede discover himself- find out what he likes, and he decides nothing is more important than that.

He sees him in the early mornings- handing him a cup of tea and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead before asking him what the plans are for the day.

Ed sees him in everything.

And he's all the better for it.

#stede/ed #our flag means death #ofmd #blackbeard #edward teach #stede bonnet #the gentleman pirate #fanfic #blackbonnet #i wrote this instead of sleeping #it's literally 8am #i need to go to bed #and i will! #right after i publish this... #hehe

[grenewoden]

wait. before i forget. ex-thieves guild member robin, caused so much fuckin drama before he left bc he decided he hated everything the guild stood for, 100% sure everyone there would kill him on sight. in fact wouldn't it be the most fun drama if vex stabbed him before he left and he did almost die. madly in love with marian who is unfortunately a rich girl but somehow is a better person than anyone in the thieves' guild. has his own little gang of outlaws who live in the woods.

#tbd. #ooc. #i need to sleep i literally wrote 'standed' instead of 'stood' #can you believe they let me into a university .