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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

Text

Mon 7 June ‘21

Liam’s podcast with Steve Bartlett is out and while I still don’t care about that guy I’ll give him this-- he does great at getting out of the way and letting Liam talk. And boy does Liam talk! Liam says A LOT and let’s all just pause to send him some big hugs before we get into right? And then look to the future- Liam’s routine is to say ‘things have been terrible but it’s fine, it’s fine NOW’, always, even when that is absolutely obviously not true, and today is no different but for once I actually believe some of his hopeful bits too which is so great! I hope things really are shifting for him and I can’t wait to hear this new song of his. But there’s a lot that’s hard to hear too, oh Liam. He said that he and Maya have broken up (so yes, presumably why he just moved again such a short time after they moved into their haunted house), talked about his struggles with his alcoholism (and said he’s been sober for a month right now, go babe!), shared the usual distressing stories about his time in the band and what that was like for him (and how it still impacts him), and he talked about his new song and how it feels different for him than his past solo music. Truly though there is SO MUCH more than I can get into here or then you can get from the UA highlights- I HIGHLY recommend actually watching at least parts of the video, also because the attempt to summarize so much erases all the charm and humor, of which there is much. If you don’t think you want to watch Liam’s interviews, it has to be because you aren’t watching Liam’s interviews, they’re delightful! Plus really if you care about 1D and want information about what it was like for any of them, listen to Liam, he’s the one who’s out there talking about it.

About Maya he said, that yes, he is now single, and “I’ve just been not been very good at relationships,” and “I’m a proper perfectionist… at the start of the relationship you put out this complete false character like I might as well go in in costume, I’m like putting out something that is not there... kind of like encompassing someone else’s life with your crap rather than just doing your thing and laying out your store from day one. That’s my biggest problem is that I feel like I don’t lay out my store... and then I’m annoyed when they don’t like what I like,” and “I think my problem is I struggle to be on my own sometimes... I dive in and out of relationships too quickly. I’ve not spent enough time on my own to relearn about myself.”

He laughs about his tendency to ask his manager things during interviews; “My fans think that Steve is doing something to me, they’re like liberty for Liam because he always looks to Steve, but that’s because I like him. It’s not because he’s harming me as a person. There’s like a hashtag Liberty for Liam because they think I’m some like prison child,” and he also said “my manager’s my best friend,” (and he’s said in the past he is a big support for him) and mentioned stuff they’d talked about recently around his therapeutic awakenings.

He talked about therapy being something you have to want to do and be ready to do rather than being pushed into, like getting sober, and says that this time around with his own therapy work he’s really felt that and thrown himself into it and he talked a lot about his relationship to therapy in connection with band days. “I mean one of our old managers went to therapy from being a manager of One Direction. So if you can imagine how that feels like the rest of us definitely need some.”

“We were young,” he said, “What I found was I didn’t know I was the boss until like a few months ago, I still don’t even feel like I am now, like I’m such a child. And everyone I work with now is older than me and wiser than me and I’m like what the hell am I doing here with these people. When we were 17 I thought the security guard was like in charge of me so I was like Can we leave the room? No? Oh ok then,” and “when we were in the band, the best way to secure us was just lock us in our rooms. And of course what’s in the room? Minibar. So at a certain point, I thought Well I’m gonna have a party for one and that just seemed to carry on throughout many years of my life... You know I spoke to somebody about this in child development as a teen, the one thing you need is freedom to make choices. That we could do anything we wanted it seemed from the outside but we were always locked in a room at night and then it would be car, hotel room, stage, sing, locked. So it’s like they pulled the dust cloth off, let us out for a minute, but then it’s back underneath again,” and “the day the band ended I was like thank the lord for that. And I know a lot of people are going to be mad with me for saying that, but I needed it to stop. It would kill me.” Anyway, he said, because it wouldn’t be Liam without an upbeat coda, “I don’t want any of this to get lost in translation. I’m not 100% moaning about my life... it’s had its ups and its downs, but I would rather talk about it and it’s therapeutic for me.”

And what about that exciting new song? Liam said, “We have a really cool song in the pipeline... one of the first ones I’ve actually written myself- with some other people, I didn’t write it by myself, but it’s the first one I’ve really liked. And I think I got so used used carting around other peoples songs and not embedding myself creatively in what I do because I was so scared to find out who I was,” and “I don’t really know how I would tour again. I really want to” [on discord today he said he would be touring next year] “I always said throughout my solo career I’d let my song book speak to me. And I don’t think my song book spoke to me to get off my ass. I only became a solo artist because I had Strip That Down. I wasn’t gonna do it, I was gonna leave it alone. I was like, I survived it once thank you very much- but I’m back in now. Because the song, I knew it was right. It felt right with that song, I hadn’t had that. This year, the song we have I feel really really great about. So I’d rather let the music do the talking than me come out and force it. We don’t need any more useless music in the world, it needs to mean something,” and he mentioned the new song on the discord a lot too, most notably picking out a long comment that thanked him for making the fan feel supported and safe and for “putting your heart in everything you do” and for his support of the LGBTQ community to respond to with, “I think you will really like the new song.”

A few other random bits, he said that he thinks there should be a system to make therapy available to musicians in the industry, “I think I’m definitely gonna get a dog because I need routine,” and “I recently started jujitsu,” yeah you and everyone else huh, so do him and Louis and Oli go to the same gym or ???, and he acknowledged that as an addict he may have just transferred that to working out “but there’s a lot worse things to be addicted to then looking after yourself” hmm but he does seem to say that he’s doing better around body image stuff; he talks about having put on weight during lockdown and seeing himself in the BAFTAS performance- “I saw myself... and I was like ‘oh my god I’ve completely let myself go in this’. And it was fine...I feel so much more secure in myself now.” Oh and that he’s written a comedic movie script “based around AA” and his experiences there, such as how “I had a really weird AA experience the first time that I went. My first experience was with Russell Brand.” LMAO yes! Cannot wait, bring on auteur Liam please! Anyway as if ALL THAT wasn’t enough he’s also dove into the lead up to his NFT release; he said “I'm almost ready to share my NFTs with you guys... Who wants to see them?” and posted a tiny preview that tells us its (their?) title for the first time- Lonely Bug.

Niall and Anne Marie perform on Jimmy Fallon tonight, and the hype is already a go! I guess it’s prerecorded, as we’re already seeing pictures from it; they’re singing to each other with the cute car from the video in the background. Niall signed on to a letter to Boris Johnson asking for changes to music streaming revenue rules and signed by 232 artists (including all the artists Johnson recently named as his favorites, haha). Zayn signed on to a Billboard petition to the US senate calling for gun safety laws. The bar Zayn got into the fight in front of posted “Zayn's a regular at Amsterdam Billiards and he is a true gentleman. On Thursday night he was confronted by an inebriated passer-by outside on the street and was called a homophobic slur. We support Zayn & condemn homophobia in the strongest terms!” And also PS omg again because it just isn’t going away: Harry’s beauty company is called Pleased As, his name is Harry Edward Styles so yes when listed last name first, as legal documents do, it spells SHE but it is not a “feminist abbreviation” (WHAT? even??) nor the name of the business.

#liam payne #long post #so long #the longest #ugh #yeah I think he’s mentioned the movie before but it’s amazing every time #Liam also talked about the concept of toxic productivity and feeling like you have to be doing things always to be valid #OMG YES PLEASE I want all of them to be talking about that #I notice no one’s circulating that bit where he calls out the fans’ idea that he’s a victim of his manager #I... won’t say it I guess but like… do consider listening to what they actually tell us about themselves occasionally though #rather than just fans online #the industry is fucked but also they're not children #anymore #and have all at this point managed to find people they trust as their closest associates #anyway did I or did I not just say that Liam and Maya had broken up I DID so why was she on insta saying they were still together hmmm? Lies #but the real point is that I was right lol #if you messaged me to ask about the SHE thing it’s not that I’m targeting you it’s that you were one of MANY #it’s really true debunk info just doesn’t get the traction that nonsense posts do #pleased as #should have made that a tag already oops #7 jun 21 #I hope you guys are grateful I have so much time on my hands this took forever #tw alcohol #tw substance abuse #tw alcoholism #maya henry #laya

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

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costellos · 4 years

Text

a/n: I was listening to more Dua Lipa and I thought to myself “wow Mista would like a lot of these songs” and it just. spiraled from there lmao. these are headcanons that I’ve referenced in previous works, plus some new ones. I also wanted an excuse to talk about 90′s / y2k stuff so..... here are some miscellaneous headcanons about ya fav boys!

tw: mentions of Giorno and Fugo’s backstory

❥ ┋ ❝ random bucci gang headcanons!

bruno bucciarati.

the most fashionable out of the group. he’s not afraid to try daring fabrics and clashing patterns. although he dresses like a Gucci model, Bucciarati hates luxury brand name clothes. it’s such a gross display of wealth. and as someone who grew up in a lower-middle class home, he doesn’t understand why anyone would spend more than 100 euros on a shirt.

Bucciarati doesn’t like sleeping in. he feels like he’s wasted too much of the day if he wakes up past 10 AM. as a result, he tends to wake up somewhere around 5 AM every morning. part of it is out of habit as a fisherman’s son, part of it is being a workaholic. he spends his morning completing paperwork, but if there isn’t any to do, he’ll take a walk around Naples.

he’s the biggest movie fiend behind Mista. although there are some serious films that he really likes, such as Reservoir Dogs, dumb action movies are his guilty pleasure. Water World and Judge Dredd are so fucking awful yet he can’t help but love them.

leone abbacchio.

he’s the one everyone goes to when they need a disguise. Abbacchio knows exactly how to contour your face so that you’re barely recognizable. likewise, he’s really keen on how certain people dress. he can put together an outfit perfect for a masquerade party or infiltrating a construction zone.

Abbacchio is actually quite paternal around the younger members like Narancia and Fugo. kind of like an asshole older brother. he’ll tell them not to do fuckshit, but won’t stop them if they won’t listen. likewise, he’s there to offer an ear if they need it (even if he’s not the best at comforting).

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again!! Abbacchio is a really good cook. his nonna taught him everything he knows. she’s since passed, so he cooks as a way to feel closer to her and provide for the team. although he likes healthy dishes the most, he tends to make fatty savory foods since that’s what the team likes.

giorno giovanna.

he’s always the last to get jokes. sometimes Fugo will have to explain it to him, but most of the time Giorno will just laugh along with the group to feel included. it’s only recently that he’s been able to let his guard down (especially considering his home life). even if he doesn’t understand the joke, he’s just happy to see everyone smiling.

he’s the first to offer praise to his teammates. despite his stoic exterior, Giorno wants everyone to feel included in what they do. some take it as sarcasm due to his blunt way of speaking, yet he means everything that he says.

Giorno has a sweet tooth, especially for chocolate treats. chocolate pudding may be one of his favorite foods, but he’s fond of anything he can get his hands on. and it doesn’t matter of it’s dark (though dark is his favorite), milk, or white — he likes ‘em all. he just hates Hershey’s chocolate. the way it just disintegrates on your tongue... eugh.

guido mista.

surprisingly, Mista’s the most religious out of the group. he’s not the typical God-fearing Catholic, though he was raised in that household. he'll mumble a small prayer before a particularly dangerous mission, but he stopped going to Mass after joining Passione. he doesn’t feel like it’s his place as a mobster to go.

he’s the biggest pop culture fiend in the group. he loves celebrity gossip, reading movie trivia, and catching up on the latest buzz around the newest episode of 90210. he doesn’t really care about the genre or celebrity, he likes learning about everything. (just don’t bring up that time he bawled at Titanic’s ending. it’s a sore subject.)

on that note, Mista loves to read. he prefers tabloids, but he’ll read whatever helps to pass time between missions. he likes crime noir fiction the most, followed by thrillers. if he’s going to read a book, he wants to be enthralled by it.

narancia ghirga.

while Mista’s the champion of movie / tv and celebrity knowledge, Narancia excels at music trivia. he can go on and on about Tupac and Biggie’s rivalry if you’ll let him. he’s best at hip hop history, but he’s knowledgeable on most genres (he’s not a fan of classical or country).

because of his interest in hip hop, Narancia’s trying to get more into poetry. Fugo’s having him read Shel Silverstein as an introduction. so far Narancia thinks a lot of it is boring, but there are a few that he enjoys. the poem Masks hit him a little too hard.

despite his lack of academic knowledge, Narancia is the most socially-aware out of the group. he’s really in tune with what the others are feeling. he can tell when someone is pretending to be okay with ease. while some may say that it’s a result of growing up the streets, he’s always been like this. he’s just an empathetic guy.

pannacotta fugo.

Fugo’s way of dressing is heavily inspired by Bucciarati. Fugo respects him a lot, so he tries to emulate him whenever he can. he was actually quite self-conscious of his swiss cheese suit. yet Bucciarati told him to try one thing that scares him every day and... it just stuck.

he goes by his last name because there are too many negative memories associated with his first. he can still remember his mother cooing “my little strawberry” at him. he’ll never forgive either of his parents, so using his last name helps him move on from his past.

Mista frequently pesters Fugo to trade books with him, though Fugo isn’t too keen on it... mostly because he thinks Mista’s taste is trash he’s not interested in whatever Mista’s reading. Fugo’s more of a classics guy. that changed when the gunslinger let him borrow Wiseguy (the inspiration for Goodfellas). Fugo trusts him a little bit more now. just a little.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #bucci gang #giorno giovanna #pannacotta fugo #bruno bucciarati #leone abbacchio #guido mista #narancia ghirga #golden wind #headcanons #no reader #long post #also I'm aware that this is a VERY American view of their likes / dislikes / hobbies #tbf tho.... the US has shaped a lot of pop culture 👀#anyway #I hope u enjoyed another edition of my late night ramblings 🌚

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Surveys #417-419

Been slacking on posting these, so here’s like three surveys over the past few days divided up. I just don’t feel like posting them individually. Beware, it’s a long post, haha.

Do you believe that animals don’t have souls? I lean towards the idea that they, at least more complex species with actual sentience, do in some way. It's hard to imagine like, a fly having a soul, but it's a nice thought. You could NEVER convince me some don't, though, like my late dog Teddy, Sara's old chameleon Jem, and I could go on and on. Have you ever not been able to swallow pills? No, I've always been able to. If you HAD to change your first name, what would you change it to? Maybe like, Quinn. Something you don't hear a lot, for sure. Something more memorable. What are your thoughts on orange soda? Orange cream soda is BOMB. Man, been so long since I've had that stuff... Are you good with children and/or animals? Don't mean to brag, but people say I'm like a magician with animals. No matter what it is, I bond with it. Children, not so much. I'm awkward around them. Who in your life makes you smile the most? My cat, ha ha. If you were cremated, where would you want your ashes to be placed? Hm. Maybe high up in the mountains or in the Kalahari Desert. Do you plan on going to your high school’s reunion? No. I'm pretty sure I'd shatter from memories just entering the building. Would you want revenge on someone if they killed someone special to you? Or would you find it in your heart to forgive? "Forgive" my ass. They'd better get what's coming to them, even if I've gotta be the person to deliver it. Is there someone you are dying to see? More than I think anyone could possibly know. But it's probably better if I never do. Could you picture yourself getting married and having kids? Married, yes. Having kids, no. I could only picture that in one phase of my life, but like I called it: a phase. I should never be a mother, nor do I want to be one to begin with, so yeah, no kids for me. Do you like to take walks? If my legs were actually worth a shit, yes, I would, if it's in a nature-filled area. What are you listening to at this moment in time? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White. Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? No. Could you say something good about the last person you kissed? She's very resilient. Why are you single? Because 1.) I'm a very unappealing example of an adult, 2.) I'm not exactly very attractive, and 3.) I'm basically a hermit, so I don't meet people. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? Hypothetically, in almost any case, I wouldn't. My imaginary boyfriend can have female friends. But I'll admit if it was like, an ex-girlfriend or something and it was a seriously intense hug, I might. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yes, but I mean, who doesn't. Have you ever been completely alone with a boy in his room? You make this sound so scandalous lmao. Yes, plenty of times. I dated a dude and briefly lived with him for three and a half years. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Who was the last person that you cried in front of? I'm sure it was Mom. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. Do you remember every single person that you’ve kissed? Yeah. Do you believe that the world will actually end? Humanity, oh yeah. The planet itself, given the infinite nature of the universe, also yes. At SOME point, even if it's zillions of years down the line, Earth is gonna get fucked by something. Are you socially awkward? I am the literal avatar of "socially awkward." Would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? Horror. Who is your favorite actor/actress? MARK IS A FUCKIN' ACTOR, Y'ALL. Are you satisfied with your gender? Yeah. Are you good at admitting your problems? HA! Yeah. ezpz Have you ever had a hangover? No, never been drunk to begin with. Do you know any strippers? No. How many times have you dyed your hair? I ain't counting. What is something that reminds you of your childhood? Dinosaurs. Do you think you eat healthy? I try to. I have my bad days, though. Are you sick quite often or hardly at all? My immune system is the fucking MVP. I am just about never, ever sick. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate, duh. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah, no biggie. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? Omg no, I woulda been mortified. Have you ever tried opening your eyes under water? Yeah, as a kid. Would you rather have a cat or a dog? I prefer cats. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Like... six times, I wanna say. What would you say is your favorite type of flower? Orchids, but I also love dahlias. I've actually noticed that I've really had a greater "thing" for flowers lately. Like don't get me wrong, I've always loved flowers very much, but I've just found myself more drawn to them than usual, especially when taking the daily hour ride to the TMS office. Do you watch Toddlers and Tiaras? FUCK no. That show disgusts and angers me so much. If someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say? Yeah, no. Funny joke. I couldn't go anyway due to mental health issues and a suicidal history. Do you own an old vintage typewriter? We used to when I was little. I have no idea what happened to it, though?? Hell, maybe we still have it somewhere, but I doubt that. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ew, does ANYONE like the smell of fish??? Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? I got a few pages into The Fault in Our Stars, but stopped for no real reason. I didn't not like it or anything, I was just still in my "I don't read" episode. Are you a protective person? VERY. I'm a fucking guard dog over those I love most. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're cute. I especially think emperor penguins are very majestic. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite author. Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? Neither's. I think my maternal grandpa had blue eyes, though? I'm not sure at all, though. When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Not sure. Has there ever been a murder in your town? "A" murder? Thems is rookie numbers for my neck of the woods, fella. This place is known for crime, and that includes murder. When falling asleep, do you ever feel like you stopped breathing? Well, I have seriously severe sleep apnea, so... but the diagnosis came as a surprise to me, because I never DID think this. But sure enough, did a sleep study, and in just one hour's time, I stopped breathing like what, 30 times? What's the last thing that scared the hell out of you? Stupid drivers. Do you have any life-changing plans within the next 6 months? I guess getting a job could be pretty life-changing. As of right now, how do you feel about your future? I'm very, very scared. Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly? Hm, I dunno. Where does your grandma live? Both of mine are dead, but my paternal grandmother lived in Michigan, while my maternal one technically lived in Florida, but stayed in New York with her son's family a whole lot. I don't really know where she stayed more. Do you know how to read music? Not anymore. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone special? Not so much the song, but the band. Motionless In White is one of his all-time favorites, so I can't listen to them without thinking of Jason. Sucks because they've been becoming one of MY favorites, too, so I listen to them a lot. If the person who has hurt you the most, said they were in love with you, would you believe them? I'd tell him he was in a love with a person who no longer exists. It's impossible for him to be in love with me now when he doesn't know how much I've changed. If Facebook made you pay would you still use it? Ha, no. Have you ever been recorded on film without your permission? Not that I know of? Tell me about your last boyfriend? He's a wonderful person. He's been there for me without fail since we became friends in high school band, and he is SO fucking funny. He's always cared a lot about me, and I care a lot about him, just not in the same way he does me. He's like my big brother. Are your parents racist? My dad definitely is. What is your least favorite subject in school? Math and economics both sucked. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? Almost certain no. I'm pretty sure Dad didn't fight for custody at all, but it could've been something Mom just never told me. Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I NEVER could. Do you have any siblings you neglect? .-. As a kid, did you ever go to camp? I went to Vacation Bible School, if that counts. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah, until that big news story about a dirty needle pricking a child. Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? Not to my knowledge. I highly doubt it. What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? Cheese quesadilla with fiesta potatoes. Rarely a pair of those cinnamon ball thingies. Ever consider a sex change? Nah. Do you eat whip cream straight out of the can? EW no. I hate the texture of whipped cream. What do you think of popcorn? Loooove. Have you ever dated any of your friends’ ex? No. Well, it's funny, Rachel (both Juan's and Jason's ex) and I are friends now, but definitely weren't at the time of us being together. Have you ever gone out with someone even though one of your friends liked that person first? If yes, did you feel bad? If no, were you tempted to? No. Would you rather be a rich musician, or a rich actor? Musician. What was the last charity you donated to? I don't recall. Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? I've told the "my friends and I saved hundreds of tadpoles" story enough times, so for this question, I'll just talk about when I would go fishing with Dad as a kid. Back then, if I got bored of actually fishing, I would walk along the riverbank and try to catch tadpoles and minnows in my hands. It was soooo fun to Kid Brittany. Do you walk fast or slow? I walk pretty damn slow. Can you juggle with more than two items? I can't juggle, period. Do you like jalapenos? Yeah! Do you like kiwis? Yessss, I love kiwi! Does anyone in your family go deer or bird hunting? Who is it anyway? I don't know if she still does, but my little sister used to go deer hunting with a friend.

Are you saving up for anything right now? What? Yeah, my pet snake's 40 gallon terrarium. What sort of things do you have bookmarked in your internet browser? It's quite diverse, but I think I mostly have templates for specific character profiles. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No, I'm a good noodle. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Certainly! It's beautiful there. If you have a cat, does it ever “converse” with you? Oh, ABSOLUTELY. When I talk to him, he sure does try to answer me and it's the cutest thing, ha ha. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Yeah, that’s what I use. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Yeah, guess he changed his mind. Name one of your ex’s mother’s names? Virginia. Does your favorite song have a meaning? BIG TIME. Have you ever written or received a suicide note? I've written one. .-. What is the worst thing a child has ever done to you while you were babysitting? When I was changing her diaper, she got up and ran around naked in the house. ;-; Do you own a nightgown? No. If you could get any pet right now, what would you get? i. want. my. tarantula. Have you ever actually been stuffed into a locker? No. That is just such a TV trope that I've never even heard of happening irl. Do you/did you decorate the inside of your locker at school with stuff? I only had a locker in middle school, and I believe I didn't. I didn't want one in HS. What’s the coolest thing you’ve made with Legos? I was never a Legos kid; I played with Lincoln Logs. Do you want to get pregnant right now? Fuck no, man. Or ever. Have you ever housed a friend for a long period of time because they had no place to live? No. If you have a favorite comedian, have they ever been in a movie? I don't have one, really. Are there any books you want to read? Besides the series I'm reading, I want to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but idk if I'll ever get to it, really. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? We don't have a close relationship, but I am nevertheless. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not really, it seems. First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? J, T, D, S. Do you like going to school sports games? No, I hated it. When Ash was a cheerleader, Mom made me go, and I was never happy about it. Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? An ex-boyfriend's, yeah. Did you get into your mom’s makeup when you were a kid? I don't think I did? Do you want anything pierced? Ugh, a lot of places. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t? I've never been accused of cheating. Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? No. I'm quite the opposite. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? Too many, really. What are you doing this summer? Nada. Do you still watch MTV? I never did. Have you ever spent the night with the last person you kissed? Yes. What’s the dress code for your job? Do you like it? I'm unemployed. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? ^, and this might sound stupid, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't. Especially tattoos. No job is stopping me from doing things that improve my self-esteem and body image, particularly when I LOATHE my body. If a little bit of art makes me feel better about myself? Nobody is stopping me. What are some trends you dislike that everyone seems to love? "Crocs. Whyyyy?" <<<< THIS. First people hated them, now they love them??? They're hideous as shit. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't really know. How often do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough for someone with skin as dry as mine. Do you donate your old stuff to Goodwill? If so, what was the last thing you donated? Yeah. Mom recently brought some old toys, I think? How weight conscious are you? You have no fucking idea. Rent a movie or go see one in theaters? I prefer going to a theater. I enjoy the experience. What’s the biggest personality trait turn-off for a potential partner? Probably being an explosive/volatile person. I can't with that. Would you ever go on a birth control pill? I already am to regulate my period and tame the cramps. And if I was sexually active, I absolutely would want to be on it. What's your favorite late night tv show? I don’t have one. At high school do or did you participate in Spirit Week? No. Do you have a favorite vocalist? Who? Queen's Freddie Mercury will probably always top the list. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I don't have a favorite photographer. Surprisingly. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? If it's with someone I'm in love with and am in the mood, sure. What is one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? I did NOT expect to reach 25 like... *gestures at self* this. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never handle euthanizing pets and watching the families' hearts break. How long have you lived in the house you live in? Not even a year. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? I'm definitely sadder. Especially today. Do you like Subway? I do. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever found a spider on your bed? Yes. It's the scariest shit when one skitters across your blanket, because like, you LEAST expect it to happen in the comfort of your own bed. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Not even remotely, if I'm being honest. I'm at a real low. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? Years ago, when I was a vegetarian and went there for the veggie burger. How often do you cry? lol a lot Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. Can you wire a plug? ... I don't even know what you mean by "wire a plug," so obviously no lmfao. Where were you when you got your first period? Well I think I actually *started* at school, but I noticed when I got home. Can you drive? I mean I'm capable, but I'm an incredibly anxious, overly passive, and just generally terrified driver. I'm so scared of when I finally get new glasses and therefore a new permit... but I have to get used to driving. Living where I do, public transportation is very, very limited, and I just can't have people driving me places the rest of my life. Exercise or healthy eating? I sadly hate exercising SO much. I'd rather eat healthy. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? Yeah. Are you more attracted to men or women? This can actually vary with time, which I originally thought was weird but is apparently normal for some bisexual individuals. There are spans where I feel more sexual attraction to men, and then other times women. Has anyone ever called you rich? God no, I am so far from it. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. Are you considered a very sensitive person? I'm way too sensitive for my own good. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes, my dad. I regret that letter I sent him so, so much. I honestly don't know how he can treat me with so much love after the shit I said. If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? I am... astonishingly behind on Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. I know, seriously incredible. I just don't watch TV, man. It's strange, I'm into the show, of course I am, I just... don't like sitting myself in front of a television and purely watching it. I'll catch up, though. Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? No. But it's not like people have a reason they grind their teeth... they just do. Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. I could, but I'm not going to. It'll just upset me. Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? My sister's husband's name is Nick, but he is definitely not my friend. I can't stand his bigoted, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, racist ass. I don't know or care what his favorite food is. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab and Sinow play Resident Evil 5. People can say all they want about RE5, but I love it. Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Waffles, but only if they're still soft enough to not be considered crunchy. I prefer them because I can put peanut butter on them, and the grooves catch the syrup instead of just absorbing it all like pancakes. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I don't/can't drink diet sodas because the artificial sweetener gives me a KILLER headache. Are you craving anything right now? You guys have no idea how badly I want Taco Bell for whatever reason. Which word did you say first, mama or dada? The latter. What was your first pet’s name? So, there's three answers to this. I was born into the family while we had a collie named Trigger, but I have absolutely zero memory of her. She passed when I was too young. Our first family pet that I clearly remember was Chance, our rescued cat. My first *personal* pet was either a guinea pig named Squeak or Chinese water dragon named Shadow. I can't remember who came first. Who was your best friend in elementary? It changed with the years, but I can say the three biggies were Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Probably Coach Collie. He was so wise, kind, funny... He was all-around just wonderful and taught so many life lessons. When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Always. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Waking up and doing my first sweep of the Internet before I get bored outta my fucking senses. Do you read any web comics? No.

Do you drink bottled water? Yeah, but like any water, it has to be COLD. Not room temperature. Not a tad chilly. I mean cooooold. When did you last use a straw? Earlier. I have a metal straw I use to drink water with because I drink faster through a straw, and with it being water, of course I want to try to drink as much as I can when I actually choose to drink water. Have you ever tackled someone to the ground? No. Do you know anyone who lies to make themselves look more interesting? My former best friend did that. She was an online friend, so it made it easy. I finally caught on and called her out on it, and then she just totally dipped. Do you like to sing? Not that much, honestly. Like sometimes I feel like it, sure, but not frequently. Are your parents in good health? No, not really. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No. I feel bad saying it, but I know I never could be. I could NOT clean another human being. It's one of the bajillion reasons I'm not having kids. Do you like to take naps during the day? "Like" isn't the right word. I just... need to. Most days, there is NO way I can make it 'til night without one. What movie was your favorite to see in the movie theater? Even though it was sincerely a sucky movie, I really enjoyed watching Silent Hill: Revelation because I saw the 3D version, plus the hype over my favorite franchise getting a new movie was just very exciting. Favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle character? I was never into that. Ever watched The Blair Witch Project? Yes, and I positively adore it. I genuinely think it's a genius horror movie, never showing, but telling through other methods. Have a favorite AC/DC song? Probably "You Shook Me All Night Long." Are you good at selling candy for those fundraiser things? Omg nooooo I HATED doing that shit, especially when some amount of sales were like, required for whatever bullshit reason. I hate hate hate advertising to people. My parents always bought them instead. Have you ever had a crush on someone too old for you? No. Well, besides James Hetfield, ha ha. What's your favorite Dr. Suess quote? I don't know enough quotes to have one. If you were to have wings, what would you want them to look like? Dark and dragon-esque with lots of rips and tears in them... but not enough to stop me from flying, ha ha. Have you ever broken up with someone to find you want them back later? No. Has anyone ever dared you to eat a chili pepper? Did you do it? No. Have you ever tried Thai food? No. Have you ever watched Avatar? The TV show, not the movie. I've seen I think one season with Sara so far? I actually quite enjoy it. What's your cellphone's signature for text? WOW this survey is ancient. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don't smoke it. Do you often take painkillers? I dunno about "often," but headaches to the point I take something aren't rare for me. Do you wish you were in a relationship? I mean yes, but I know it's for the better I'm not. Have you ever been to the ER? Many times. Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? I feel extremely guilty. I try not to think about it. Where have you lived for the most part of your life? Eastern NC. How old are you? 25. What are you listening to at the moment? Powerwolf came out with a new album, so I've been bingeing the shit out of some songs, ha ha. Right now it's "Blood For Blood." Do you watch WWE Raw? Ew, no. I have NEVER gotten the appeal of wrestling. Just like... why????? Do you dye your hair? Nowhere near regularly. :/ I haven't had it dyed in a very long time, and I hate it. I love colored hair. We just can't afford that expense on something so little. My hair does NOT take dye easily, so we have to have a professional do it, and that isn't exactly cheap. Have you ever lived in a different country that the one you’re living in? No. Which of your parents will you see next? I live with my mother, so. Have you fallen asleep in school? Not in class, no. In college when I would be in the library between classes, though, I've dozed before. Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes, but not for physical issues. Do you make fun of obese people? You're talking to someone who is. So obviously no, and you're a piece of fucking shit if you do. Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innie. Have you ever tried to headbang? No. Even as a metalhead, I don't get it, man. You're asking for a headache. Do you own any Converse? What do you think of them? I have a few and like them. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I mean, I'm an admin on two sites, so I guess? Were your ancestors royalty? Yeah, I'm related to one of the Queen Victorias, I believe. I just know she had a thing for beheading people, ha ha. What do you like on your pasta/noodles? Sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.? Just tomato sauce and meatballs, really. Who is the most ungrateful person you know? What makes them this way? My fucking ex-best friend. You could never, ever give her enough and she just... blegh. She was so fucking ungrateful for everything people did for her. It was just never enough. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. I don't like Pepsi. Have you ever held an uncommon pet before (ex: mouse, spider, snake, lizard)? I've held snakes, rats, lizards, and a tarantula. Who did you last play truth or dare with? No clue. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? Yeah, they've moved out. What was the most unique pet you’ve owned? I'd probably say my champagne ball python. A lot of people don't even know ball python morphs exist, so seeing her might surprise some people. Do you like Doritos? Yeah. When you buy clothes, do you always try them on first? No, but I need to learn how to... I just HATE doing it. Have you used bugspray recently? No. Do you enjoy swimming in the ocean? Yesssss. Have you ever tried to sew or knit anything? No. Has something ever happened to you that seemed like it was from a movie? Most of Jason's and my relationship felt like one. Hence why the breakup felt so sudden and just impossible. Do you find yourself to be a believer in love at first sight? Not even remotely. Is there something you want to do, that you swear you will, no matter what? Spread Teddy's ashes in Yellowstone. I promised him. Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) I am an adult, and it sucks. What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? Any meat that was hunted. Have you ever owned a diary/journal with a lock and key? I don't believe so. When you were little, what movie did you watch over and over? Mostly Disney films, like The Lion King and Finding Nemo. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Do you know what you want for your dream house? Nope. I honestly don't really care about having a "dream" house to begin with. I just need one that's cozy to me and gets the job done. Have you ever seen the movie The Notebook? Many, many times. It's my favorite romance movie. Have you ever used the photo editing site “Picnik”? No, not to my memory. Has an animal ever taken a strong dislike to you? Our old dog Bentley didn't like me all that much, and I didn't like him, either. Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair? No. Do you have a lucky or special coin? No. Do you love ice cream cake more than normal cake? No. Do you check your email daily? No. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? Envy. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes, actually. For a while many years ago, my old laptop left subtle burn marks on my legs. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? My nephew's is next month. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I doooo. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Ha, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Maybe when I went to SeaWorld as a kid? Did you ever have one of those easy bake ovens as a kid? Yup. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? Sure. What flavor cake do you like for your birthday? Red velvet. Have you ever had a job you loved? Nope. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Two people. Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve met online? Sara. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? I was very afraid of dolls as a kid, so I obviously didn't have one. Do you sell any products? If so, what? I mean, I'm a wannabe photographer that sells my service. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Can you still fit into kid’s clothes? Hell no. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What do you make wishes on? I only ever do for the tradition of it on my birthday. I don't believe in the magic of wishes, though. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Are you bitter about anything? Probably always will be. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? Never had one. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? Yes. It was identified as a fracture, but a break and a fracture are technically like the same thing, so. At a skating rink, I fell and landed on my hand so the top of it nearly touched my arm, so my wrist got FUCKED. I will never, ever forget the severity of the pins and needles feeling and just the experience in general. It hurt so goddamn bad. Is this the best year of your life? Fuck no.

#in other words i don't feel like thinking up song lyrics for three surveys at once lmao #survey #surveys #random questions

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idwalkthroughfireforharry · 4 years

Text

{Harry Styles} - What Makes You Beautiful - Blurb - Cartoonist!Y/n + Assistant!Harry

Hey guys! I am new to this whole thing and I hope you like this. I bet other people have done this but I am making Harry blurbs based on the 1d songs and I am trying to go in order. I feel like my writing is low key bad but lmao. Gotta plug my ig real quick --> follow @/harrywithhumans on ig!!! Also I might post these on wattpad too IDK. Anyways, if you read this I LOVE YOU

1.2k words

Warnings: angst, alcoholism, sadness, undercover fluff

Her cartoons were the finest in the San Fran area. People of all ages, all shapes, all colors, loved her cartoons. The whole situation was quite rare. In modern times, people tended to stray away from newspapers and physical copies and were hyper-focused on screens. But something about her work reeled people in.

The weekly installments were timelessly funny. Her style of art was surprising, yet memorable and her word choice was superb. She was critically acclaimed in the city for her work and she was proud to admit that, as a girl who used to doodle on every school notebook she ever had and on every wall of her parents’ home, she was earning a good amount of money.

She made quite a bit of money. Not just from the newspaper, but also from side projects she would do. She kept quite busy, but not busy enough.

She would often let her inner thoughts get to her. What if I stop having good ideas? My work isn’t good enough. People will have to hate me eventually, right? In her cramped office (small is how she liked it) she would allow herself to be drowned by alcohol and self-loathing. She was insecure in herself and her work and she didn’t know what to do to stop the madness in her head.

~You're insecure Don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the door Don't need make-up to cover up Being the way that you are is enough~

Days would go by and one after the next, she would draw a gorgeous, detailed drawing (not up to her standards of course), and seconds later she would crumple the piece of paper in a fit of rage and would expel her anger with a scream. She would take copious sips of alcohol (her personal favorite was whiskey) that she kept in her coffee mug.

Her assistant, Harry, didn’t like it when he heard her yelling and crying. He originally wanted to work with her because he knew how talented she was and he wanted to be able to grow from her work. Watching his mentor rip herself to shreds was extremely difficult.

One particular day, the yelling and anger were more intense than the ‘norm’. Usually, he just let it slide and kept typing away at his desk adjacent to her office door. One time he tried to come in during one of her episodes and she pushed him away, insisting he get back to work, so eventually, he stopped trying.

When he heard glass shatter, he knew he couldn’t wait any longer. He stood up from his desk and slowly knocked on the door.

“Y/n,” he said softly, “can I come in?”

As soon as he knocked, her loud shrieks dulled down to a broken sob.

“Mhm,” she croaked.

He walked in cautiously, fearful of the glass he had heard shatter. He found her eyes, stained with mascara and sorrow. She appeared truly and utterly defeated. He had never seen her like this. She tried to keep herself very polished so that no one would judge her work based on her actions, but she couldn’t handle it anymore and she broke. She broke like the vase that was shattered on the ground, leaving water, flowers, and glass scattered on the floor. But, Harry did not care about that. The minute he saw her, he walked over slowly and sat down on the floor near where she was slumped.

He was caught off guard when she snaked her arm around his shoulders and draping the other in front of his stomach, latching onto him as she sobbed. It broke his heart. He didn’t think that that was possible. He was a work-driven man and he allowed his personal life to go to the back burner. But when his boss was slumped over crying in his chest, he had no other emotion than empathy and sadness. He didn’t truly know the meaning behind her outburst, but it didn’t matter.

They sat in silence for what felt like timeless time. It was not fast and it was not slow. They just existed.

“I’m scared of being a failure,” she confessed through sniffles.

“Why’s that?” he questioned sweetly.

“People love me now, but there is always an end to ‘now’. I know that there will be a breaking point when my stories are not funny and my drawings are not pristine and every time I go to create something, I am paralyzed by the idea that my downfall might be around the corner,” she was slow and profound with her words. Her bottled up feelings came out without a hitch as if they had been there, fermenting for years. But he didn’t talk, he knew she wasn’t finished.

“And I am so hard on myself. I always have been. My insecurities get the best of me and I lash out. I drink alcohol to suppress my worries and I know I shouldn’t. I just can’t help but feel like everything I do is a complete failure.”

“I know this doesn’t help, but I like your work. In fact, I love it,” Harry exclaimed quite matter-of-factly, “And yeah maybe you’re right. Maybe the end of your success is right around the corner.”

She pulled her head away with confusion lacing her brows. She wasn’t expecting him to say something so curt. She giggled slightly.

“Well, aren’t you Mr. Motivational Speaker,” she chuckled sarcastically. Their laughs intermingled.

“Well, honestly none of us know when our success will end. But, you can’t give up now. Giving up now would be like getting to Disney World, but only staying in the parking lot. For all you know, the best is yet to come,” Harry mused.

“Thank you, Harry,” she smiled.

A calming silence fell over them.

“And besides you’re really beautiful,” he spoke it before his brain could even process it, “I m-mean, you’re, you’re work is really beaut-”

“Harry it’s okay. You’re beautiful too and I guess I never really noticed because I was so caught up in my head.”

She didn’t say that statement in a flirty way. She just said it because she wanted too. She didn’t blush and she didn’t make it a big deal.

~Baby, you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell You don't know, oh oh You don't know you're beautiful~

Yes, they thought each other were beautiful in the typical exterior way, but they also felt that each other’s minds and actions were beautiful.

“I need a friend Harry. I am so lonely. I go home to my dog and I go to sleep and then I wake up and go to work and do the whole thing over again. I need a friend and I think we could be friends. What do you say?”

He smiled and nodded, “Friends.”

They lifted their pinkies and pinkie swore.

They were so similar it was almost shocking. They had spent so much time in their heads. Harry caught up in work and letting personal things fall apart. y/n with her alcohol, loneliness, and overall feeling of failure. Yet when they looked into each other’s eyes on the floor of y/n’s office, it was as if they had seen each other for the first time. It was as if their souls reached out and touched each other.

And Harry would have never admitted it, but he felt something more. He felt a warm feeling that he had not felt in a long time. A feeling of commonality between the two people who had emotionally distanced themselves from everyone else. And he knew that the pair were bound to be more than friends because the feeling he had, wasn’t ordinary. From that moment he knew that Y/n would light up his world like nobody else.

AH if you like it follow and like and give me feedback hehe

#harry styles #harry #styles #hs #fineline #harry styles fanfiction #fanfic #unexpected lovers #friends #cartoons #assistant #yay #harold styles #harry edward styles

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undertaleheadcannonsfromagremlin · 5 years

Note

Did we ever dabble headcanons for Horrorswap Paps and Horrorswap Sans? Either way when you get the chance may I have more please?

Of course~! I may or may not have added others… Felt pretty motivated, haha.

(I name the horror boys after spices or negative aspects, hence the weird names/ the great jokes I can make. Like they spice up my life? Hahaha, I’m sad ;-; )

Clove (Horrorswap Sans)-

* This boy is actually really insecure about his teeth, like they’re all sharp and pointy and it scares people away! He’s wanting to make friends up on the surface, but its a challenge for this poor bean!

* He cooks a lot. He knows how to make anything taste good.

* This boy might stress eat and cry if things just seem so out of his control

* Protect him at all cost

* He is actually soft spoken at times. He is one of the most relaxing skeletons to be around when this happens, because, well, he won’t tell you to do things if you really need him to listen to some troubling thoughts and feelings you have. He’s basically best friend material instantly, to everyone.

* He’s somewhat out of it when he sees blood, or organs, he just zones out, it takes him a while to get back to normal, back to where he is. He is also a bit desensitized at times as well, always calm when his friends are injured. He’s reliable.

* He’s not really friends with Alphys anymore, after what happened and all… But, up on the surface, he’s willing to try to rebuild that friendship… He will try!

* He often worries about his brother, because he isn’t exactly the type to go out, and he’s along so often that it worries him.

* He is always trying to make sure his brother is happy, that he knows that he can finally relax, and see that things have finally started changing for the better.

* He sews extremely well, and can make clothes, or fix ones that have holes up. He learned in the underground, grasping at some way to keep their clothes decent. He just didn’t want to be reminded how hard times are with how their clothes looked back then.

Dread (Horrorswap Papyrus)-

* As I stated before, he’s a total loner. Very antisocial, and distrusting of others.

* That being said, he barely has any acquaintances. If you somehow become friends with him, your special.

* His brother means the world to him, he survived only because his brother needed him. Never try to hurt his brother. You will be dead before you can try.

* He may hoard food at first when he gets on the surface. Don’t look at him like that, you know what it was like down there? He needs to make sure that won’t happen up here!

* He loves milkshakes. He’s just so happy if he gets the delectable treat. If you want to warm up to him, buy him a milkshake, though the only way you can do that is if you pay for his and Clove’s food if they’re dining out and you happen to see them. It’s a nice way to pay it forward to the two, and it will surely get him to feel something about you- even if its a bit less disgust.

* He loves his personal space. He needs his personal space, please.

* Whenever his brother gets upset, he freezes a bit on the spot, unsure of how to even approach, let alone comfort his brother during his time of sadness, his time of needing someone. He wants to help his brother more than anything, however, he’s unsure of what to say. So silent comfort it is, once he acts.

Apathy (Horrorfell Sans)-

* He’s meannnnn

* Why should he be nice if the underground was so cruel and unforgiving to monsters like himself? Sure, things may be different on the surface, but still. Can’t trust any damn humans to help them.

* Humans are an iffy subject for him, he despises Frisk for leaving them down there to starve and just, turn to dust while hope of escaping dwindled to nothing. But Aliza had changed that. And, well, he’s very harsh to humans, and if you stick around, you may see his better side. Just hang in there!

* He’s actually a sweetheart around those he’s close to, he will tease, harshly though, and he might use his strength against his human associates/friends to keep them with him for a while. Don’t say its cuddles, or anything like that, he will deny.

* He and his brother gets into fights on occasion, to the point where it may look like they’re about to kill each other, though they don’t have intent to kill each other. Damage against each other is very, very small. behind a decimal and lots of zeroes basically. They won’t kill each other.

* Definitely has a few mental disorders, he has night terrors, ptsd, depression, and the sorts just taking a toll on his life.

* This is probably why Cynical brought home a few pets when they reached the surface, he brings home an older dog with leg problems, and a cat that has patches of fur missing, and some scars on it.

* The dog is a Pomeranian, and it quickly grows attached to Apathy, and it helps with his problems to some extent. Her name is Bean.

Cynical (Horrorfell Papyrus)-

* His guard is up, he’s hard to get close to

* He absolutely detest spoiled brats that waste food and complain about having nothing to eat

* He doesn’t trust humans, it took a long time after he watched Frisk get past him, and, well, their life in the underground became hell. Sure, Aliza freed them, but he was absolutely positive that no other human can be trusted. They should pay for what they have done…

* However, things are different up on the surface, and it took him a great amount of time to get used to it. Most nights are spent awake, he can’t find security in his new home, he can’t feel safe. He’s an insomniac ever since he came to the surface.

* He’s a hard worker, supporting him and his brother, preferring to have his brother close, and, well, he found that some humans are the absolute worst while others, well, they were decent in his opinion.

* He may or may not have picked up stray animals and brought them home, something in his soul told him to, and he doesn’t regret it once he sees change. His brother is calmer, supported by the small dog that seems attached to him, and with the little cat, well, its helping him sleep at night now.

* His cat is black with a few grew patches and green eyes, it’s petite and a cuddle bug name Fang (wanted to call is Doomfanger dang it). Fang is a male cat.

Was going to do swapfell, but in the middle or writing I got this burst of anxiety and all my confidence was crushed so I deleted it all lmao I’m a mess.

#undertale headcanons #horrorswap #horrorfell #hs sans #hs papyrus #hf sans #hf papyrus

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ruiojousama · 5 years

Text

Rockstar! Cor x Loqi AU

This has long been in our prompts. Collaborating with @moonraccoon-exe for this is one of the best things ever!

It took me quite a while to post this, but I hope you guys enjoy this extremely long (but fuilfilling) read and the illustrations!

Headcanons:

First things first: Rockstar!Corqi. Aye.

Not so surprisingly, our Loqi is a self-proclaimed NUMBAH ONE FAN; but he is in hiding ‘cause of his family standing. Can’t really have his parents catch him being a rock/metalhead now, can he?

Loqi is, as usual, the son of a high-society family. His entire life revolves around high-society stuff (parties, school, friends, etc.). Hence why it would be ludicrous and scandalous if he was to come out as enjoying of such things like rock and metal bands (people in tight leather pants, piercings, tattoos, and crazy haircuts, sweating and screaming and singing and jumping on a stage with a bunch of noisy screeching smelly mentally ill teens that apparently hit each other as a hobby? EW, SOOOOO UNREFINED AND SAVAGE!).

Guess Loqi enjoys that sort of music both just because he connects with it, and because usually rock & metal tend to be aggressive. So it’s sorta perfect for him to vent his own aggressiveness through it.

Besides, he could NEVER talk about it to anyone; not only is that music unaccepted and seen as unrefined and savage among his family and social circles, it just so happens that his favorite artist is a Lucian. Loqi could NEVER IN LIFE talk about such a HORRIBLE thing!

((Niflheim and Lucis aren’t at war, but there’s still that tension/arrogance from the high-class Nifs to look down on the Lucians))But despite the secrecy, he has like, 20 posters of him and his band. Photo albums and newspaper clippings.

Loqi has a secret /panic/ room where he hides everything. Sometimes sleeps in it, hugging a custom dakimakura (A/N: I’m laughing cos I remember Matt Mercer and his dakimakura in Critical Role [Coon here: LMAO OMG RUI XD]).

Posters, photo albums, newspaper clippings, magazine covers, his Cor dakimakura (...I mean we can’t blame him), heck, Loqi probably has the goddamn action figurines. Or nitotans and custom plushies.

Let’s talk about Cor. Rockstar Cor.

Cor in even more/more stylish black clothes. Cor….WITH EYELINER.

Cor sings. You wouldn’t believe it from him because he may come off as too serious, but Cor has ONE DAMN GOOD VOICE, especially for the rock/metal genre.

Cor’s actually a good performer; as in, he doesn’t just have the voice, he does great on the stage too. Public never grows bored.

Can we imagine a smirking singing Cor that’s sweaty from the 1.40 hours of concert and the spotlights, thank you.

Cor is sexy. And he KNOWS THAT.

Being a musician since like age 20, Cor has gone the ages being praised and adored by the public both as a musician and due to his looks. 25 years into the praise, you can tell someone’s raising some ego (A/N: You know, like Hyde or godsdamn Gackt).

Now the juicy part of this; the story.

Cor and his band are going to tour and they opened some dates in different Niflheim cities.

Let me say that again in Loqi language.

COR AND HIS BAND ARE COMING HERE OHMFYGODAJW DNJDSJFN CORANDHISBANDARECOMINGINEEDTOGO OH GODS HELP ME IAMSOFUCKEDTHISISTHEBESTDAYOFMY/L I F E/

Loqi has luck he has that safe room, he has somewhere to scream without freaking his parents out.Loqi bought the tickets as soon as they were available.Loqi is seated on his chair, like both hands and feet on it like a damn gargoyle, intensely staring at the computer screen’s clock, so he can SMASH THAT REFRESH BUTTON as soon as midnight hits so he can be the very FIRST to get a ticket for the concert.HE. HAS. TO. GO.

He KNOWS it’s going to be so hard because of his situation. His parents are strict and picky, they won’t let him out so easily, even less if he doesn’t have a good explanation, he’s keeping all this thing a secret, he just can’t say he goes to a concert, and besides, going out of the house is only the beginning; once out, he has to make it away of home without being seen by ANYONE (the only time when having security cameras AND guards AND dogs become a problem), and once away of home, he could be seen by ANYONE in the streets; his schoolmates are often out on friday and weekend nights clubbing, the concert is going to be in one of the clubbing areas, he could run into ANYONE, heck he could run into anyone that knows him DURING THE CONCERT ITSELF, and THEN he has to make it back home with the same secrecy. It’s giganormous quantities of problems.

….but HE HAS TO GO OR HIS NAME IS NOT GODDAMN LOQI FUCKING TUMMELT.

It’s a once in a lifetime chance, he can’t miss seeing his favorite artist/band live! Who knows when, or IF they will ever come back to Nif again!

Going to the concert actually proves much easier than expected.

His parents don’t check his room at night, and he locks it anyway; he goes out through a window, and maybe convinces a guard to help him out (“I’m not going to do anything bad, I’m just...going to...go see...see someone” because Loqi would VERY much rather his family think he’s dating someone than knowing he went to a rock concert [the guard was all winks and smiles like “Aaaaaaah, THAT stage of youth. I used to do this for your father too you know” “EEEW, too much info! >:(“])

Loqi darling goes around in his most “peasant” clothing, which includes a hoodie, and wears a mouth mask to hide at least half his face.

And finally, without much trouble, Loqi arrives in the concert.

He was early so he could be as close to the front as possible.You should have seen him when the lights went off and the band came out; he went HYSTERICAL

Composed, high-class, serious and ice-cold Loqi, suddenly losing his shit, bouncing on his feet, and shrieking out, waving his concert lighters they hand out at the entrance.aSdsdlfjalksdsad jesus christ I’m loving this so much ahahahah (A/N: SAME COONIE SAME)

You should have seen his face when he saw Cor. *Eyes all gleamy and mouth a bit open like he was a believer seeing his god right in front of him. Full of absolute ADORATION and fan-to-idol love....Loqi may or MAY NOT have gotten a bit teary eyed DON’T JUDGE HIM.((Pls understand him, Loqi’s not very comfy at home due to all the restrictions and he’s been fan of this band for YEARS and he has literally NO ONE to talk to about them or the music, and it’s music that speaks straight to and about his most intimate feelings.))

And now he’s right in front of them. Of course he would get a bit emotional after years of bottling frustration up <33

Loqi DOES have a little problem, though.

He is. Too. SHORT.

He’s very close to the front, he was actually on the very first row, but most people, especially male, are much taller than him, so he was forced out and sent a few rows back. Even the people that don’t mean to take advantage of his size can be troubles, as they’re bumping into him, pushing, even crushing the poor thing.

And don’t get me wrong, Loqi has (a bit too aggressively) pushed people too, and he’s in amazing physical conditions. It’s just the height, dammit.

You know, the band are known for being super friendly with the fans, both on and off stage. On stage, they’re known for ALWAYS bringing multiple people on stage at different moments of the concert.

Oh, so this is surely the “I’m going to bring someone on stage and, oh surprise, I just made eye contact with the story’s other protagonist, who I happen to find angelically BEAUTIFUL, so I’ll bring this person on stage and we just fell in love and I’ll kiss them” story, right?

WRONG.

Loqi DOES come “on stage” of sorts….after ALMOST DYING.

There was a moment of the concert, you know, everyone is so hyped and ecstatic and they’re having fun, so it just happens the crowd starts calling for a Death Wall (you know, crowd parts in two, and then both parts RUN TO EACH OTHER so they can crash and the HARDCORE SLAM BEGINS). There is a REASON it’s called the DEATH wall lmao

So dear Loqi and some other fans, mostly the younger ones, among Death Wall and slam, they end up a bit scared, injured, or like in Loqi’s case and more dangerously, falling down.Cor and his band may get a bit too much into the fun sometimes, but they’re good people and they care about their fans’ wellbeing above the fun or the fame or the music itself.

So of course Cor STOPS THE ENTIRE CONCERT.

BECAUSE SURE HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO HIS IDOL BUT IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN LIKE, LIKE, LIKE...LIKE T H I S

And he’s like “WOAH OKAY CHILL PEOPLE, CHILL, WAIT A MINUTE, SOME PEOPLE FELL AND IF YOU DON’T TAKE IT EASY YOU’LL END UP HURTING THEM, OKAY, BE CAREFUL” and while most people stop, there’s some idiots (because there’s ALWAYS some stupid idiots) that don’t, so Cor has security go check on the people that fell and/or are injured.

And THAT’S the story of how Loqi got to be on stage with his favorite band!For like 30 seconds. Unconscious. In the arms of some buffy security guy. That crossed the stage only to get this boy to backstage. Lmao. Loqi-ly, dear angry blond pup wasn’t injured, just knocked out. He wakes up backstage...AND HE JUST /FREAKS OUT/SO MUCH--

Loqi wakes up after the concert is over and the band has already come backstage to chill.So all that Loqi knows is that some stupid idiot elbowed him in the face, he was knocked out, and he’s waking up in this strange wide room he’s never seen before in his life and how did he get there anD COR FUCKING LEONIS IS SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-YOU CAN’T BLAME HIM FOR FREAKING OUT.

So Loqi’s natural reaction is to gasp and then yelp shortly, and shoot up on his feet and points at Cor and he screams “YOU’RE COR LEONIS!!!” because pointing out the obvious is apparently the natural reaction to seeing something obvious.

So Cor finds it amusing and laughs and makes some comment about how “why yes I think I am” and about how he’s “always pleased to meet a fan.”And ooooh BOI, Loqi’s having NONE OF THAT.

Loqi for SOME REASON thinks it’s embarrassing and humiliating that someone else knows that he’s Cor’s fan, and it makes no sense because the one that knows is COR HIMSELF, but Loqi’s still this stubborn, difficult little shit and for SOME REASON he gets all worked up and isn’t happy to meet him, he’s just plain upset and tries to pretend this isn’t like the DREAM OF HIS LIFE.AND THEN HE TRIES SO HARD TO CONTAIN HIS FEELS HE BLURTS OUT RUDE THINGS TO COR

“Damn you look older up close—“

"Geez, chill, relax, you're safe now"

"SAFE? I WAS SAFE ON MY OWN, I WAS NOT- I DIDN'T EVEN- I'M NOT EVEN YOUR FAN"

"what"

"YOU HEARD ME, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE."

"then why were you here in the first-"

"WHAT DO YOU cARE OHMYGOD STOP HARASSING ME”

Maybe Cor also teases him and the little Loqi realizes how douchebag this idol of his is BUT HE CAN’T DO NO SHIT HE STILL LOVES HIM

And Cor's like--whoa first time he encounters a fan who kinda hates him? (does that even make sense wtf).Like, he’s met haters and fans, but this is a fan that hates him and holy moogles is that even possible? How do you love someone by hating them how does it work Cor doesn’t understand.

And he’s sorta puzzled you know. Because Loqi’s wearing a wristband of the band, he was at the concert very close to the front, and he recognized Cor immediately. So he IS a fan. But he behaves so unlike any other fan Cor has ever met in the past 25 years of career; he’s met people that scream and cry out of excitement, some that clap and smile, many that ask for photos, some that are very timid and don’t even talk at all, he’s met some that have even cried….but he’s NEVER ever before encountered a fan like this.

Loqi is calling him names, pointing out rude things or making up some comments just to be rude, he’s freaking out at the slightest comment or movement from Cor, BUT he also burns red in the face, BUT he’s also walking in circles yelling “WHERE IS THE GODDAMN DOOR I WANNA LEAVE NOW THANKS”. Loqi is the rarest and a very unique one-in-among-literally-everybody-else fan…...And hoh OH BOI LOQI, GOOD LUCK, THE IMMORTAL JUST GOT VERY, VERY CURIOUS

And then after that concert the universe just fucks them up and the two had to meet in accident. A lot.

“Oh, it’s the midget from the concert—”

“SHUT UP YOU TALL DARK AND HANDSO---HANDS OFF MY POODLE--(cos yeah maybe loqi is walking his dog)

For some reason, Loqi attracts danger because for some reason we all creators apparently like to injure him a lot lmao

And for his luck, Cor joins to save the day! /o/

Like, I don’t know, some assault. And precious tsundere sunshine is shoved into an alleyway with the poodle (not the poodle!) while he was trying to get Cor off him, so that’s the two in troubles.Luckily, both manage to get rid of troubles, but Loqi takes a bad hit to the head that plain knocks him out.

And when he wakes up, Cor STUPID Leonis is sitting RIGHT THERE BESIDES HIM.IN HIS ROOM.

"Well. Good morning, Sleeping Beauty"

"..what"

"Took you quite a while. Don't worry, you didn't need stitches."

"...is this my room?"

"Well, yeah."

"How did you know where I- THAT IS HARASSMENT AND I COULD- SUE YOU YOU PERVERTED- OLD MAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE!?"

"Well, you were knocked out, and I checked your wallet for some info, your parents' number or something"

"YOU CALLED MY PA-"

"And I saw your address in your ID so. Sorry for...invading your privacy, it's just your house was closer than the hospital and it wasn't a bad hit so---"

"DO MY PARENTS KNOW YOU'RE HERE OHMYGOD"

"Well yeah someone had to open the door. Nice posters, by the way."

Because by the time Loqi notices, apparently while he was knocked out Cor found his panic room where he has ALL his Cor merchandise. All the Cor posters. The action figures. The CDs. E v e r y t h i n g.*insert Loqi screaming internally*

And Cor being the nice guy he offers to sign those unsigned posters of him

"...is that my face on that pillo-"

"nO!!!"

"well THAT'S definitely me on that pillow, where did you get that? You sleep with it?"

"NO I BEAT CRICKETS AND BEDBUGS WITH IT---OF COURSE IT'S A PILLOW WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA USE IT FOR--!"

"...so you want me to sign-? :)"

"yeh :'("

Loqi half-gives up. Cor found his panic room, there’s no way he can lie anymore to this stupid handsome jerk. So Loqi just sits on his bed hugged to a pillow, face buried in it, while Cor comes in and out of the panic room bringing the most interesting merchandise he finds. Laughing. Asking over and over if he “signs this”, “this one too?”, “maybe this one, this one is cute.”

Lmao, Loqi’s parents, though.Because Cor has to leave at some point, he has to walk out the main door, and for that he has to come out of Loqi’s room, so it’s just unavoidable, the Tummelts meeting Cor.

“You have a nice house, thanks for receiving me.”

“Yeah...uh...thanks for taking our son home…”

“Fine, fine, keep going, Leonis.”

“So, you is this man your friend, Loqi?”

“N-NO! OF COURSE NOT, NO!”

“...so do you know him?”

“NO! I MEAN- yeah, but, not like know-know him, he’s- no! Let’s just leave, dammit.”

“...would you like to stay for dinner?”

“HE WOULDN’T.”

“I’d love to! :D”

It’s not that Loqi’s parents like him. It’s that they’re trying to figure who this man is and if they should call the police.He looks like a Lucian. What is their pureblood, noble, high society, beautiful Nif son doing hanging with...this...black leather-dressed, eyeliner “hobo” of a Lucian.((Hey, hey, Tummelt mama and papa, those clothes are rockstar, ROCKSTAR, not “hobo” >:( ))How does the romance start, though, huh. HUH. IDEAS. LET’S MAKE AN IDEA RAIN.

But in the end, even Cor charms both Loqi’s parents with his wit.

And Loqi, regardless of all the embarrassment, is blushing, happy and giddy.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

#corqi #cor leonis #loqi tummelt #cor x loqi #loqi #cor #ffxv #coonie's awesome writing #leonis #tummelt #corxloqi

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hisgirlwonder · 5 years

Text

Atonement - Part Three

Length: 2.3K words Warning: A lot of this is power play with intrusive thoughts but there’s also the addition of smut in the form of sex toys/anal stuff, humiliation, some degrading pet play, sadism of sorts, voyeurism, that sort of thing~ Synopsis: With his trust broken, Michael is doing all he can to make you regret ever crossing him. Notes: Here’s the third part in the continuation of my favourite fic series I’ve written to date (I think my niche might be humiliation which probably speaks volumes about me lmao) and you can find part one and two here on my master list. Hope you enjoy!!! I should also probably point this out but I always write Y/N as consensual because we all know she secretly loves Michael and can’t resist him (even if she might come across as loathing him)

Michael’s actions towards you had caused quite a commotion in the Outpost. Since that show in front of the others, they were all scared stiffness and didn’t want to be the next in line and abided by his rules. Nobody realised that Michael wasn’t interested in punishing them even if they acted out because you were his target, his prey, his toy. He would have just snapped their necks and let that be that. But with you? No, you were different. You were his.

“What the fuck, where are they?”

Desperate hands of yours rummage through bags of clean laundry trying to find your own. You specifically remember last night putting them on a wash cycle and one of the other girls said she’d take care of the rest which by your calculations means they should be there. But they’re not and you’re stressing out. You didn’t need more punishment on top of what you were already being given.

Certain you’ve got another outfit hanging up in your wardrobe, you run back to your room as fast as you can. The adrenaline pumping through your veins turned you into a fumbling mess and made trying to unlock the door difficult, albeit not impossible, and you get there eventually. Once inside you rush over to your closet and fling open its doors.

Michael surely had better things to do than take my clothes, didn’t he?

Apparently, you might have been wrong. The cupboard in front of you is bare, stripped of your belongings. You mutter a fuck under bated breath, heart pounding. Knowing you don’t have much time, you quickly move onto your drawers and yank them open whilst praying you’re still in possession of something, anything, to wear to his office – your search falls flat. You haven’t even got a pair of socks.

There’s a knock at the door. It was if your thoughts were so loud that the Devil himself answered you because you open the door and who was it? Michael.

“Good morning, little grey. Did you get my message? I hope you enjoyed it.”

His tone was all too self-righteous and cocky for this early in the morning.

You’re staring at him in confusion, saying nothing.

I didn’t get a…

It clicks. He took all of your clothes to send you a message.

He continues, “I just love that look upon your face right now. It’s like you’re becoming aware what I can do to make you feel your own shame. There are a few things planned so don’t take too long to get ready. Make sure you shower first,” Michael says, rubbing it in with a wink. You wanted to slap the smug off his own.

A concerned Ms. Mead clears her throat, breaking the silence in the room.

“Michael, don’t you think you’re being just a little harsh on that poor girl.”

You look up from your screen to see Mead staring down at you, sadness in her eyes. She hated seeing you like this – she missed the old Michael, the one that had become buried deep under a cloud of jealousy. Mead could read you like a book and knew from the way you were reacting and the things she’d observed that you really did care for Y/N but you didn’t know how to show it.

“Thank you for the concern. I really do appreciate it but after she went behind my back and metaphorically shat all over me then she’s going to get every last bit of my harshness. How dare she let him-” you pause, smacking your clenched fist down in exasperation.

Miriam leans in on the edge of the desk, sight focused on you and trying to read your expression since you had a guard up. You’re refusing to look at her and instead your vision veers off to the side with flared nostrils and a mouth scrunched up in disapproval, matching the current mood.

“Michael, please, look at me.” Mead begs, moving around to be in your line of sight but you move your head again, still refusing to look at her, “It doesn’t have to be like this, you know? You don’t need to let your feelings get the better of you. You’re not a monster, Michael.”

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Michael. You’re not a monster, Michael.” You mimic, deflecting the obvious truth she was speaking. You did feel something for her but the news of betrayal hurled you back into the past when you were abandoned by your own flesh and blood.

“Wow, okay. I see I’m getting nowhere with you. I’m going to go and attend to other things but you know where I am if you decide you actually want to act your age and not like a defiant, spoilt child.” Mead sighs heavily then walks out of the room. You notice she’s left the door ajar as you hear her speaking in a surprised tone, saying, “Oh, hello, Y/N. Michael’s in there.”

“Uh, sir, hello,” your words were sheepish, uncertain. He doesn’t acknowledge your greeting nor does he do anything besides type away on his laptop. You’re about to say something else when he bluntly tells you to come to him. You comply with the instructions and tiptoe over to him, standing to the right of his desk.

The tapping of fingers on the keyboard ceases once he feels your presence near. He closes his laptop, pushes himself off the seat, and walks around you in circles with eyes fixated on your exposed skin.

Those icy blues are taking in the sight of the damage inflicted on your body. A single finger lightly skims over the parts that were tinged in shades of blue and violet from where he’d dug in too hard. With cold yet curious tone, he asks, “Do these hurt?”

The answer to that question is simple – of course they hurt. You were in agony trying to fall asleep last night because of that. If he had asked you, however, if anything had hurt more then that was an entirely different story. You’d say yes because it didn’t just hurt, it tormented you to be around him and to almost suffocate on the anguish filling the room that he was experiencing, all because of you. You can’t recall him ever using the word “hate” but you wouldn’t be surprised if that was how he felt about you nowadays.

You pull together a sentence but your words are spoken too timidly for him to hear. He wraps his hand around the bruised skin, gripping where the marks were present, and squeezes as he’s demanding for you to speak up. Tears pool in your eyes and you’re wincing in pain, yelling out that they do. Gasping under the pressure he’s putting on your contusions.

Michael begins to laugh to himself for some reason and drops the clasp he has around your bruised limb. Your eyes, slightly narrowed, on him and you’re rubbing at the soreness. He sits back down on his chair and as he’s pulling in his chair, he mocks you, “I already know what you’re going to do before you do, little grey. You think you get the privileges of a normal human being? Don’t be silly. We both know where you belong.” His head tilts in the direction of the floor, “Down you go, on your hands and knees.”

You’re amazed at how well Michael pulls off the cold, clinical act but you fail to realise that this is what he’s taught himself throughout his life – through the hurt, the abandonment, the pain, the loss, the best and only thing he can do is to build the fortress inside him higher, and stronger; even if this means losing himself even deeper each time he rebuilds it. He’s done it so many times you could almost call him a master in carpentry.

With you following his commands, you’re resting on your bent knees and flat palms. Michael squats down for a minute, eyes perusing over your positioning. You part lips to speak but Michael snatches your face up in one hand and he snaps, “Does the little bitch wish to speak? Too bad she can only bark.”

His emphases on the word bark showed how serious he was, he throws you from his hand and stands up, hovering above like a figure of authority. “You want to speak? So do it, and you get points if you make it extra convincing.”

You put two and two together and come back with something that makes a whole lot of sense. He didn’t want you to speak, he wanted you to bark like a dog because his aim was to make you feel less than human. So, naturally, you don’t want to rock the boat and you show him how convincing you can be.

“Very good. I think you’ve earned the right to speak for a little bit.”

“Thank you, sir. What’s the point in all of this?”

“To teach you obedience, silly. You clearly lack it and all dogs need training sometimes. Oh, and before I forget, I have something for you... a gift, if you please.” Michaels words were mostly calm but there was a touch of condescension thrown in there for good measure. “Before you feel the need to waste any extra oxygen in this room by asking another trivial question, just know it’s something I’m sure you will love, like the slut you are.”

You’re trying to swallow down your nerves but it’s as if you’re a cat with a furball caught in its throat, wanting to cough them back up.

Michael can’t do anything worse to you than he already has.

You’ve been staring at the floor and psyching yourself up to bundle your nerves and shove them deep down inside you that you didn’t notice Michael had disappeared until he came back. You look up and there he is, holding up a red bag. “Little grey, get up off the floor and come and get this,” he swings the bag in front of you by the handles, like an owner waving a toy in front of their pet.

Dying to speak, you bite your tongue for fear of backlash. Michael already senses it in you and pipes up with, “I know, I know. This must be confusing, right? I’m punishing you and then I’m giving you gifts,” Michael grabs his chin in his free hand, pursing his lips before he continues, “I guess you’ll just have to sit on the edge of your seat to see what I have planned next, huh?”

You stick out your hand to grab the bag from him, looking at him in the eyes but you can’t work out what’s going through his mind. Part of you wonders if this is some kind of joke and then the other part wonders if he’s trying to win you over just to gain more control.

Your teeth chew at your bottom lip and you pluck up the courage to dive in, feeling what seems to be a bottle and something fluffy. You pull both out and place them on the table; a butt plug with a tail and a bottle of lube. “I don’t understand. Why these?”

“I just thought I’d get you something to help with your canine transformation since apparently you do quite like being a bitch.” His hands grab for the bottle, shaking it around before holding it out to you, “See? I’m not entirely cruel.”

He places the bottle back down on his desk, continuing to explain his plan, “You’re going to wear this, if not for me then for your own self, because I can promise you things will be worse if you don’t.”

Your eyes hit the plug – it wasn’t like you hadn’t had anything up there before and it wasn’t overly huge so you figured you could do it.

“Do I make myself clear?”

You nod your head.

“Good. Now show me just how clear I’ve made myself.”

Michael points at the toy, “I want you to put a foot up on the chair so I can watch you stick that,” then he points at your ass, “In there. I also want you to look at me so I can feel every second of it. Got it?” He tongues his front teeth in some kind of sick enjoyment.

You bite back the nerves and nod your head again to show your understanding. Despite your submissive streak, you were being crushed slowly and painfully because this wasn’t how you wanted anything sexual with him to go.

With one foot propped up on the chair, you pick both the bottle and toy up, hands trembling slightly, and squirt fake slick on to the plug before rubbing it in and bringing it to your ass. The flesh of your behind hitting Michael’s gaze.

“No. Turn your face around and look at me when you do it. I want to see you.”

Was this just a punishment or his own fetish?

You turn, facing Michael, trying your best to be brave but you knew he’d be able to see the pain. It was pain because over and over again thoughts like you’ve done this to him, he’s hurting because of you, you worthless piece of shit, Michael is right to teach you like this ran through your mind.

For the first time in who knows how long his eyes light up as he’s staring at you pressing the tip of the foreign object into your hole, gasping slightly as it easily slides in. He’s tried to remain calm and composed this whole time but even he can’t hide his own enjoyment, whether it be from the power or from him fill your ass with something, and it’s showing. He’s biting down on his fingers at his own titillation over your docility.

“Wow, you didn’t even cry out in pain, almost as if it’s not your first time filling that ass of yours with something.”

His eyes are stuck on you, particularly on your ass, as his feet lead him to be behind you. His hands pull at your hair back his direction, you too were growing aroused but trying to hide it, “You really are a slut. Shall we see how much you can take?”

Taglist: @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sensitivethot @sammythankyou @sevenwondr @langdonsdemon @creamy-pasta-boi

Also wanted to add in you darlings since you loved the first two parts!! @icylangdon @langdonsrapture @cocosfern

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tokoyamisstuff · 6 years

Text

Guilt - Bucky x Reader

A/N: Here we are - the last chapter. I hope you like the ending! (:

Thank you guys for your love and support! Feel free to request any time! ❤︎

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Summary: You really hoped your anniversary would go a bit different than that.

Warnings: Violence. Near-death-experience. Self-loathing. Mild cussing. Constant change between Angst and Fluff. End gets fluffy af.

Words: 6005 Wait what?! Okay I’m supposed to do homework so I’m procrastinating lmao.

“Mission failed. The Agent is malfunctioning.”

One of HYDRA’s agents gave a status report to his superiors. Function. Like he’s a damn tool. But because of this, they were seriously considering just letting it be. A broken weapon needs to be thrown away as soon as it’s become beyond the point of repair.

You could just hope they’d really give up on him and not trying to get rid of either him or you...

“Oh, guess I’m still alive” you joked as you woke up, just to be met with a frowning Bucky.

A ray of sunlight hit his face, and the deep circles under his eyes were proof that he didn’t have any sleep. He sat on the bed, knees pulled to his chest. His brows were furrowed together and he seemed to be buried in thought.

“Bucky?”

No reaction.

Looks like it was still the Winter Soldier. “Ah, whatever” you thought, head still being a little fuzzy.

“I should not hurt you” he grunted, clenching his jaw. His voice was unsure at first, but his next words were more firm. “I won’t.”

“That’s sweet, darling” Your face split into a beautiful smile, cupping his cheek with both your hands to make him look at you. “Now give me a smile, would you?”

The Winter Soldier needed to remind himself to breath as you watched him expectingly, with those bright, beautiful eyes. When he watched you sleep the night before, he thought you must be what people call an angel.

Your boisterous laughter at him made his heart sink into his chest.

“I’m sorry” you chuckled, peppering small kisses among his face. “I’m sorry, it’s just...you looked so weird right now.” God, him awkwardly trying to smile was just more cutness than you could handle. It looked like a failed attempt to bare his teeth and snarl.

His eyes flickered from your eyes to your mouth - and before you could even say something, hips lips were on yours as he pulled you into his arms. A whimper escaped your mouth, but you shuffled closer to him to signalize that you’re okay.

“That was...not bad” you gasped, trying to catch your breath from the kiss that felt like it lasted forever - and still not long enough. Bucky on the other hand finally managed to position his mouth in the form of a smile, being proud of your praise.

When you shoved the covers aside and jumped out of the bed, you realized Bucky wanted to follow you.

Was it really good to leave him alone? Well, it was the Stark Tower - so what’s the worst that can happen? Tony is a control freak, so this place was heavier guarded than the Pentagon.

“Please, wait here” you odered your Soldier, gently putting your hand on his chest and feeling his muscles tense. “I’ll be back soon! Just a few minutes.”

“Morning, Y/N!”

You heared Tony’s obnoxious voice from behind you and were instantly reminded that you weren’t alone in the kitchen. Sure, you loved every single one of your teammates - but you’d give everything for S.H.I.E.L.D. to finally set Bucky free so you can live a normal life somewhere far away.

That would be a real way to start anew. He already told them about every plan, every single weapon HYDRA possessed - so it should be up to him when to retire.

“Hi” you muttered under your breath, a grumpy expression written on your face as you stepped into the kitchen bare-footed.

“Where’s the Tin Man?” he teased, giving you a questioning look. Usually, Bucky would follow you everywhere he could, just like a dog. You never minded it, though. “Relationship problems?”

“He’s not feeling so well, so I told him to stay at his room.” Gosh, you really weren’t in the mood to talk right now. So you’d just open the fridge and get something to eat, so you could return to your lover as soon as possible.

“He’s what?!” Oh no, Steve was here, too. You were so focused on Bucky you didn’t pay attention to who sat at the breakfast table.

“No need to worry, Rogers. I can watch your bestie on my own” you gnarled, making the others rise their eyebrows. It wasn’t like you to be so passive-agressive. Of course, you could become really sharp-tongued when it came to defending Bucky, but why are you being like that right now?

“You sure everything is alright?” Wanda asked with her usual, caring tone.

Instead of remaining cool, you buried your face into your hands. “Yeah, he’s really fine. If not, I’m going to call a doctor. Please just let him rest a little.”

Even though you already walked towards the door, but you still felt their piercing glares upon you.

Don’t let them notice something. They can’t see him right now.

You needed to protect him. At all cost!

“I’m back!” you cheered as you entered your shared room - just to find Bucky, still standing at his original position without having moved an inch. You were pretty sure he didn’t even shift his weight from one foot to another.

“You don’t need to take orders so literally...” Letting out a deep sigh, you took his hand into yours - and this time he was slightly squeezing it, making hum approvingly. “Let’s sit down! I’ve brought your favourite!”

The plates on the desk held a piece of plum pie with cream, together with a cup of fresh coffee. You were hoping that his favourite dish might help regaining a memory or two - but he didn’t seem to cooperate. Bucky sat down, mistrustful eyeing the contents of the cup he held in his hands.

Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you began to pout. “C’mon, Bucky! I’ve learned how to make this pie just for you! Don’t you dare to think it’s poisoned or something.”

He wordlessly hung his head and took a bite of the pie, and soon his frown turned into a more relaxed expression.

“Does it taste good? It’s leftovers from yesterday but I stood at the stove for hours just for you!”

“Yes” he mumbled, still a serious tone in his voice. He was simply confused. Why would a nice person like you make this much of an effort for someone like him?

The Winter Soldier didn’t need comfort - he didn’t deserve it. That’s what they told him, all those years. And it was still stuck to his mind like a tumor.

You sipped on your own coffee and placed a hand on his knee. “It’s okay, Bucky. I never knew what it’s like to experience such horrible things. But it must’ve been so hard. And I’ll make the rest of your life as enjoyable as humanly possible! I promise you!”

“I don’t deserve this.” The look he was giving you reminded you of one night, where you sat on the rooftop and talked about simply anything that ran through your heads. Out of a whim, you asked the all-brave soldier what’s his biggest fear - and his simple answer was “You.”

When you asked him to elaborate, he told something that still captures your heart until this day:

“I’m scared that one day, you’ll look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself as I see you. You’ll realize just how amazing you are, and that you deserve way better than me...I’m terrified that you’ll leave me alone.”

All the torture he’s been through, and this is the one thing he picks to say he’s afraid of?

You’d sacrifice everything to make him understand that you needed him just as much as he needed you.

That your life was incomplete when he wasn’t there.

To make him see himself as the wonderful, involuntary fallen angel he is.

“That’s not true and you know that. We’ve had this talk so many times before, even if you can’t remember. But I love you so much and I want you to have everything you desire!”

“I want you.”

His answer made you smile. It was a sad and small one, but still a smile nontheless. “Idiot. You already have me! I’m not going to go anywhere!”

Bucky carefully pressed you against his chest and you could feel him shake a little as he mumbled a sole word: “Mine.”

You chuckled as you interwined your fingers with his and looked him deeply into the eyes. “Yes. All yours. Happy Anniversary, Bucky!” you whispered, and as soon as the last syllable escaped your lips, he found himself interlocked in a passionate kiss. The tender way of you holding his face into your hands made Bucky feel like everything will be okay.

“Anniversary?” The interrogation in his eyes made clear he had no idea what you were talking about.

“Yes! Our anniversary! We’re together for four years now. Too bad you can’t remember...”

His head went to a shade of crimson due to the shame of not remembering.

“Did you really never ask yourself who I am to you?” You rose one eyebrow, but continued smiling softly.

“My handler” he gritted, looking down to the floor in embarassment.

“Oh dear god, never!” you blurted out with a shy chuckle. “Bucky, I am your girlfriend! I could never be one of those horrible people!”

“Don’t tell me he doesn’t know what a girlfriend is” you thought. But still, Bucky faced the ground.

“Dear” you cooed as you continued, “I’m in love with you. I want to be close to you and make you happy. I want to spend my life with you!”

“Why me?”

You grabbed on the fabric of your shirt, as if you were experiencing a heart attack. “Why you? Oh, Bucky! It has to be you! Because you’re simply the most wonderful man I know!”

“I’m not. I’m a bad person.”

You put your index finger under his chin to lift his gaze. “You don’t know just how wholesome you are. Those past years, I couldn’t have been any happier - because of you! And that fact won’t change, Bucky.”

Bucky bit his lip. He bit it so hard that it began to bleed again, until your voice told him to stop.

Suddenly, he grabbed your shoulders. He seemed to have remembered something. An important matter he didn’t accomplished yet, but wanted to so soon. So he looked at you with genuine determination before asking:

“Then...Can I stay with you forever?”

Your moment got interrupted as your door suddenly sprung open and the Avengers bursted in.

“Bucky!!” they all yelled in unity, making him jump and pull out his hunting knife. Damn, you forgot even in casual wear he was still armed with some hidden weapons.

“What the hell, Barnes” Sam asked, giving a sniff at Bucky’s weird reaction. Not even with his usual PTSD he’d get so high-alerted.

You held your breath. Obviously the whole Avengers Crew were his targets. You asked him about the details of his mission last night. It was easy to trust him that he wouldn’t hurt you - but what about the others?

Seeing them made the image of his mission reappear clearly before his eyes. But they were all gathered here, and he was supposed to kill them one after another. Even though he already did take them on back at the UN, thee risk was too high.

“Sorry for bursting in” Natasha tried to defend them all, “We were just worried and wanted to pay him a visit.”

“Bucky, put that knife away” you said, and the Winter Soldier followed your order without questioning it, giving it into your hands. “Thank you, sweetheart” you cooed, raking your hands through his hair.

His eyes were startled, furious and loving - all at the same time.

“Y/N...what’s going on?” Wanda asked - but as she tried to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder, Bucky caught her wrist with his metal hand. He started cracking and twisting it, making her double over in pain.

“Bucky, no!!!” you yelled as you tried to free your friend’s hand from his grasp. “She’s a friend, it’s okay! Please!!!”

Your begging tone was enough to make him stop already. He was worried that Wanda might’ve intended to hurt you, and he didn’t want anyone else to touch you without permission. He was unaware of how physical contact works between people who like each other.

But one thing he did know. Right now, you were afraid of him. He recognized the look on your face immediately. Your fastened breath, the volume of your voice, as well as your trembling limbs.

Just like all of his victims were - before he killed them.

Soon, he found himself to be surrounded by heavy armed heroes - and you unable to know what to do.

“Please, just leave already. Guys, I’m begging you! Wanda, I’m sorry, but-”

“Y/N, go away from him. He’s dangerous.” Hearing those words coming out of Bucky’s best friend’s mouth made your heart split in two.

“No, he isn’t!” you yelled as you pulled his head onto your chest, in an attempt to keep him calm. “He is nice and gentle and just afraid, and you just have to leave!”

Still, your heartbeat was fastened. Bucky thought it might as well just break out of your ribcage, that’s how loud it was hammering against his ear.

Actually, it was just your fear of him getting hurt.

But he thought that right now, you see him as the monster he is.

How naive to think that HYDRA might’ve lied - they were right all the time. He was an unloveable abomination that was only good for bringing agony over everyone he’s affected with.

Right now, the void in his heart became bigger than ever before.

The small ember of hope you placed inside of him was crumbled down by a wave of guilt and self-loathing.

He should just die.

Why not right now, by the hands of the Avengers?

Doesn’t make any difference if he takes down on or two of them. They made you happy and a strange sensation came up in him that he couldn’t quite decipher: It was jealousy. Of them having what he can never have: Being able to be close to you without hurting you.

As he freed himself from your hug, you could see his desparation written clearly on his face.

“I’m sorry.”

The first one he’d send flying was Steve, who caused the wall he flew into to crumble until only a giant hole was left.

The other’s instantly reacted, with Nat jumping onto him, her legs wrapped around his neck, just like back at the UN. Why did she think the trick that didn’t work the first time would help now?

It was easy for Bucky to destroy the main piece of Tony’s emergency suit, leaving him unable to fight. Steve was still unconscious by the blow that went directly for his head. Nat was also knocked out by him having choked her - until Sam kicked his jaw before he could break her neck. Only a brief moment later, you saw Sam lying on the ground too - covered by blood.

Screaming so distraught that you thought the whole tower could hear, you begged both parties to stop.

But no one would listen. And you couldn’t do anything to help.

You were weak. Too weak to save the only person you ever loved, even though he was standing right in front of you.

But there was another problem: Clint didn’t have his weapons with them, and neither any protection wear. When Bucky was done with the others, he turned to face the Hawkeye and approached him with firm steps. You knew that in close combat, Clint had a major disatvantage.

A yell made it’s way to his ears and finally also into his mind. “Bucky, STOP!!!”

But it was too late.

His cybernetic arm went straight towards Clint’s chest, meaning to break his ribcage and destroy his heart. The swung was so powerful, he couldn’t pull back now. The metal in his arm was too heavy to do so.

The last thing you felt was the way of a strong, dull pain hitting the side of your chest. No matter how hard Bucky tried to back off when he saw you going between Clint and himself, he couldn’t prevent the tragedy that was about to happen.

The last thing you heared was the sobbing of the others as you fell to the ground. Before your head hit the floor, someone catched you, screaming in agony - it was Bucky. Your Bucky.

And then, everything went black.

“Welcome back, Y/N.”

The voice was Natasha’s, and as you opened your eyes you realized to be in the medical facility of the Stark Tower. Nat was sitting next to your hospital bed and was reading a book, waiting for you to regain your senses.

“I could hit you so hard right now...” she grumbled, putting the book aside. You wanted to sit up, but even the slightest bit of moving was just too much for you. It was so painful. And even more painful was the fact that you didn’t wake up to see Bucky being here.

“Do you know how much you worried us?!” Nat continued. “You can’t stay so naive forever!”

“How are the others?”

“No major injuries. Just a few bruises and Steve’s jaw is broken.” Her glare was piercing holes into your very being. This was how mad she was about your behaviour. “You should’ve told us the very second you realized it was the Winter Soldier.”

“You’d just have locked him away!” you yelled, but your voice cracked already. "I...I was sure he’d never hurt me...” you mumbled. “It was an accident. He didn’t want to do this.”

“How many times do you want to defend him, Y/N?! He’s a good ally, but you can’t be too close to him!” Tears ran down her face. That’s very unusual for a person so restrained and collected as Natasha was one.

And you knew why.

She was still madly in love with Bruce, alias the ‘Hulk’. But they could never be together - or at least he was thinking like that. Just like Bucky, he thought of himself as a dangerous being that wasn’t meant to find love.

And then, there was you - being happy with the Winter Soldier. Even controlling his murderous side to a certain extend. And it drew her crazy. That was just too much for her - to bear to look at you having what she couldn’t have. And like that, your friend distanced herself from you further and further.

Her excuse was always that she didn’t feel comfortable around Bucky, because he shot her back then. Oh god, how bad Bucky felt for leaving her with that scar.

But you knew it was a lie. Yet you never confronted her about that. What a bad friend you had become.

“Natasha, you always understood my feelings better than anyone. Would you stay away from Bruce if he wanted you to be together?”

You hit a weak spot there. Right in the bull’s eye.

“That’s just irrational! Y/N, you almost died! Stop talking about my issues, think about yourself! It can’t go on like this!”

Your voice was so weak and husky, and every breath hurt. What exactly did he do to you?

Looking around, you saw a giant box, and a pipe connecting it to your thorax.

“He broke some ribs and one of them popped your left lung like a balloon. You were still luck, though. He could’ve easily burst your whole chest open. Blood was filling your thorax and compressed your heart, so it stopped beating for a few minutes. That’s what the doctors say, at least. We all cried for you. We thought we were losing you! Do you understand that?!”

“Where is he?” you whimpered, tears rushing down your face.

“Where is Bucky?!”

“He doesn’t want to see you” Natasha said, standing up and shaking her head about how selfless you were. But she kinda liked that part of you, too. She just wanted to protect you.

“He’s talking to no one ever since the accident. But I was meant to tell you...He wants to break up.” She walked towards the door, just like that.. Of course she knew she should be staying with you after delivering such a message. But she just couldn’t. It pained her too much to see you like this.

“Then he should say it to my face” you said, now a blank and emotionless stare. You knew this was just his self-hatred speaking, but it still hurt so bad. Way worse than the physical pain.

All this time, you were giving it your best to keep him at your side. But it seemed he can throw it away without second thought.

“But...Nat?” you said, even managing to get up for a second to face her. The hope of you becoming friends again was still present in your mind. “Thank you.”

“He’ll come back” Your former best friend cracked a knowing smile.

“Bucky can’t live without you.”

He didn’t. No matter how long you’ve waited, he just wouldn’t come back to you.

It has been a few weeks now, and because your healing ability doesn’t work on yourself, you had to rely on modern medicine to do the trick. The giant bruises sure took their time to disappear, but it was alright. Now being single, you had all the time in the entire world anyway

Clint was visiting regulary, still feeling bad for you having saved him. Even though you assured him a thousand times that you would always put your life on the line for a friend. And that you knew he’d do the same.

You all would risk your life for one another. And that’s why you loved your friends so much. No one would talk badly about Bucky, even after he whiped the floor with them.

The others came by occasionally, scolding you for not going to the X-Ray examines or other stuff meant to uplift or control your recovery. It was hard for them to see you in this state, and knowing they provoked the Winter Soldier into doing so.

But you just didn’t felt like it. Without Bucky, you didn’t felt like anything at all. Even if it meant unnecessarily putting your health and even life in danger.

“God, Y/N! How many times do I have to tell you to not leave the medical ward?!” Steve yelled from somewhere behind you. You were lying on the rooftop of the Stark Tower, which was - thanks to you - covered by grass and many flowers. A garden on top of a skyscrapper, watching the sunset - what could be better for your mental health right now?

You didn’t open your eyes at his scolding, simply enjoying the fading but warm sunlight on your skin. The sound of the machine that kept your lung working for as long as it needed to heal was interrupting the peaceful silence.

“Leave me alone, Rogers. Please. Nothing you say can change my mind anyway. So don’t bother.”

“He wouldn’t want you to be so reckless” Steve mumbled as he walked away.

“If he’d care, he’d be here - with me” you whispered, biting your tongue to stop the tears from reappearing. How was he doing right now?

The lack of knowledge about his situation drove you into insanity. Not that he hurt you, but the fact that he could hurt himself.

Little did you know Steve was just on his way to the Winter Soldier’s room, trying to talk some sense into him.

He had mantled the whole room in darkness, and didn’t leave ever since you were injured and he carried you to the medical station. For how many hours did he cry his heart out until they told him you were stable?

At this moment, he was already prepared to lose you - because of his own selfisness. He needed to leave you as long as he was still able to. No matter what this meant for himself.

When Steve entered the room and turned on the lights, he saw that Bucky had destroyed most of the furnance - except for the photos of you. He could clearly see the patterns of his fist having hit the wall on several spots.

Never before he’s seen his friend so devastated. He couldn’t bear to look at the dark circles under his eyes and the hollow cheeks. Bucky was staring into the void, still mentally debating if he should just jump out of the tower to end this farce that’s his life.

“Bucky” Steve said firmly and with sympathy. But he didn’t even do so much as looking at him. Did he even notice someone was there? Didn’t look like it.

And he couldn’t face his friends anyway. He hurt every last one of them. Even though they gave him a second chance and tried to treat him like he wasn’t a homicidal maniac. That was beyond redeemable.

“Y/N is in danger.” He knew this would bring Bucky back and out of the dark corners of his mind. And it succeeded. Bucky looked up, desperation clearly visible in his eyes.

“You’re the only one able to talk sense to her! She’s being careless about her health ever since you’ve left, and we fear she might soon overdo it...or...well, maybe start harming herself. She’s changed without you, man. I’ve never seen her so gloomy. It scares me.”

Bucky’s voice was sore from being underused for weeks, but the words he spoke were still strong and determined.

“Where is she?”

“I told you to leave me alo-”

Your words got stuck in your throat when you realized just who came to your rescue. Sitting on the ground with your feet crisscrossed, you wished the world could just stop right now. Having that talk right now just was too much for you.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” This was what he wanted to say - but honestly, he didn’t feel like he’s got the right to intervene with your life any further, in any kind of way. So he just sunk down to the ground next to you, looking at the view of the city at night - together with you.

He thought you’d be furious with him. That you’d beat him and yell at him. Or even worse: That you’d ignore him. Tell him to go away, that you didn’t care and didn’t love him anymore.

“You know” you started, still looking into the distance. “Hospitals are pretty boring. Especially when your supposed boyfriend doesn’t even come to visit.” Turning around to look at him, you saw pain written clearly on his face.

But your own, rock-hard expression dropped the moment you saw tears fill the rim of Bucky’s eyes, as he fought them from spilling down his face.

“I’ve missed you so much, you goddamn asshole!” you said as you tackled him over, repeatingly beating on his chest. “How could you?! How could you leave me alone for so long?!”

“Y/N...I hurt you. I’ve hurt you so bad, how am I ever supposed to look into your eyes again without feeling like the monster I am?!” Bucky lay with his back on the cold floor, keeping himself from the urge to embrace you to ease your pain.

“Didn’t I tell you already that you’re not a-”

“No!” he interrupted you. This was the first time he’s ever raise his voice at you, and you instantly felt all the air being sucked out of your lungs.

“I knew this would happen one day! I knew it, Y/N, yet I still let you persuade me into trying a relationship with you! Now I can’t lie next to you without fearing to crush your body any second! I can’t be around strangers because I have to fear them knowing the words! I can’t touch your skin without seeing that scar and being remembered about what I am! Everything you and the others told me about me being one of the good guys - it’s all bullshit!”

You wanted to protest, to say something. Anything! But your words wouldn’t roll over your tongue as easily as they usually did. So you couldn’t do anything else than just to lie on your former lover’s body, and breaking out in convulsive sobbing as he talked so badly about himself.

“I’m so messed up!” he whimpered, covering his face with his flesh arm. “I can’t even trust my own mind! I’m too dangerous to be with you! And yet, I can’t stay away from you! I’m the most selfish piece of shit!”

“So am I” you finally regained your ability to speak. If it was for Bucky, you could overcome even the most difficult hardships. “I know you feel bad because of me, but you can’t change my mind. I’ll stay with you until my dying breath.”

“You mean your death, which would probably be on my hands” he hissed angrily. Angry of himself.

Still, you pressed your body to his, making it feel as if you could never be separated again. “I need to show you something. Could you help me get to our room?”

Your weak, pleading eyes made it difficult to say no to your wish. And so he did, thinking it would be the last time he’d be together with you. Bucky picked you up and curled you into his muscular arms, while you held the machine with your own ones.

Arriving at the room, you saw what Bucky had done. He mumbled a quiet “Sorry...” as he let you down on the still intact bed. Seems like he just destroyed his own belongings.

“Wait” you mumbled as you searched for something under your bed, then finally grabbing something covered by gift wrap. “Here it is!”

Bucky shot you a quizzing look as you held the present into his face. “It was meant to be for our anniversary, but, well...You know.”

Both of you sat down on the edge of the bed as he carefully unwrapped what you had so beautifully decorated.

It was a giant book. Just his name as the title in a beautiful font. Even his favourite colour. And when he opened it, he gasped:

There were photos not even he knew have been made of him and his former life. From his school to his time in the army, and part of Captain Americs’s special forces. Many old and new newspaper clippings, telling the story of the courageous deeds of Sergeant Barnes, as well as some praising the White Wolf. Reports of him having served his duty in WWII formidably, and so on...Even a copy of his birth certificate. Photos of his parents, which he barely even remembered. Most of the photos and documents were were old and wrecked, but still beautiful - broken, but they still had their own charm. Just like him.”

“What the hell is this?” he whispered in awe, looking through it with eyes as wide as a child’s.

"It’s you” you shrugged with a wide smile on your face, watching every reaction of him closely. “I know it’s cheesy, but I thought...Well, I thought that...You know, very time you’re thinking badly about yourself, or maybe times when the Winter Soldier went on a rampage again. Even just when you’d have another nightmare - you can just open up this book and see you - the real Bucky.”

For a while, Bucky’s glare shifted from the book to your face over and over again, his jaw dropped.

“It was really hard to get some of these” you chuckled. “Most of them were in S.H.I.E.L.D’s or even HYDRA’s databases only. Gosh, good thing some of my favourite spies helped me so well with getting them. Even Nat was willing to assist me. And Cap’s girlfriend send me everything she got from S.H.I.E.L.D, beause she still owed me one for bringing Steve back to her unharmed from that one mission!”

Suddenly, you felt two strong hands - one on your waist, the other on the back of your neck, Bucky’s body was finally close to yours again. “Y/N...” was everything he managed to get out before he cried to his heart’s content. So many times he’d surpress the emotions he held, but right now, he was an open book - literally.

“Hush now, darling” you hummed to soothe him, stroking his messy hair. “I love you so much, it hurts when you’re not at my side. It’s just impossible for me not to be with you. There’s no other choice for us than to be together.”

Both of you needed hours of simply lying in the bed, crying over everything that had happened those past weeks.

It made him remember just how he cherished those quiet moments with you. With you, he wasn’t forced to talk much, or act all happy like he did for Steve’s sake. He could relax, stay silent and enjoy some peace and quiet. It was not bad for him to be sad. And still, you wouldn’t just tiptoe around him because you feared that he was too sensitive. You’d speak your mind at any time, because you trusted he could take it. With you, he felt normal.

He could be himself, and you’d love him for this - for whatever reason. Bucky didn’t know why you did. He was simply glad that you did.

“I’m sorry our Anniversary was such a failure...”

“At least we had some plums” you snickered, his face still on your chest. He could listen to your heartbeat forever. It was prove that he has a reason to continue living - and that this life wouldn’t be a bad one.

Bucky forced a hesistant laughter, before he stuttered “Well, I-, umm, I mean....”

“Don’t you dare to try and break up again, Barnes” you gnarled as you felt him trying to stand up.

“No! It’s just...” he turned around to his nightstand, a small package hidden behind it. “I know it’s not much, but...This was supposed to be my gift for you.”

Suddenly, he jumped out of the bed - and fell on one knee.

“B-Bucky?”

All sense of words stumbled out of his brain, but he tried to pull himself together:

“I-I know I’m demanding much with this step, but...uh, probably not a good way to start, but - my therapist testified that I’m not able to fight any more. He convinced the UN to let me go, and..well, now that I’m finally free...I want to bind myself to the only person I willingly paid loyality to. You.”

He didn’t even end his speech, but you were already on the ground with him too, hugging Bucky so tightly he could think that you wanted to crush him. Your warm tears were wetting the skin on his neck before you started to cover him in kisses.

“That’s not everything! There’s a part two for my gift - I’ve talked to T’Challa, and bought a small farm in Wakanda. We’re safe there, even from HYDRA! I mean, only if you want-”

“Of course I want to, you dumbass!” you whimpered loudly, your eyes swollen from tears but not less captivating for him. You were the only one who’d look at him with those eyes - ones that didn’t see the Winter Soldier, the danger.

And like that, he remembered those past days trapped inside his own mind.

How kind and gentle you were, nevertheless. Every touch you comforted the broken Soldier with was lingering on his skin as he relived the memory. You were never afraid of him.

“Spending my life with you was all I ever wanted!” Your words made the ice around his heart melt in an instant, and all the doubts got washed away with it. Bucky looked at you - his future wife - before asking the question he already knew the answer to.

“Y/N, will you make me the most luckiest man in the galaxy...and marry me?”

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merlinthoughts · 5 years

Text

Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #s1ep4

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crafiet · 5 years

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1-50 OC questionnaire !!

ill use ary

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?anyone else paranoid about people stealing their unpublished work or ideas or name bc me. her name is ary and i found it from a generator [lmao so original] and i thought it was cute. her last name is like pretty standard for fantasy and it inspired me to have everyone elses last names in a similar vibe2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?WELL lmao shes had a lot. prisoner #22876, the wraith, princess ary. ive scrapped all except the prisoner one and u can guess how she got it3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? she was raised among royals and nobles so she has a lot of good memories with her parents and other kids her age running around doing dumb shit. most of her bad memories happen once she becomes a teenager4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? she has an overwhelming love for her parents, she idolizes them heavily and is grateful for how much they taught her. a good memory is probably them teaching her how to use magic for the first time and she being unable to control it and almost burning her eyebrows off lmao5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?no siblings6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?tbh i havent thought much about their education system as young kids, since its not really relevant and i dont tend to worldbuild stuff that never shows up. however she did attend an academy specifically for her magic caste and she had a fun time up until some shit went down and she deserted. shes pretty competitive and liked versing her friends7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? she was one of those weird kids who preferred hanging out with her parents over everybody else. so she had one good friend in the academy whos still her friend today, but otherwise she would race home and annoy her mum lol8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? no pets. she has a soft spot for horses though, because she has had so many in her “career”9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? horses like her, i guess they can sense shes good with them. at one point in the novel she sees some jackals and is afraid of them so shes probably not a dog person10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?she doesnt have anything against kids, but shes not very good with them, shes never been one for baby talk or dumbing herself down. in one draft she takes care of some adolescents and lets cyri take over bc he loves kids lol11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?nahh12. What is their favourite food? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh13. What is their least favourite food?uhHHHHHH14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?man idk, its not like my characters arent well rounded realistic people but im not gonna know her favourite fucking colour bc it doesnt matter in the story lmao15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?i would say shes ok, she doesnt burn anything but shes not a gourmet chef [despite having lessons as a child]16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? ohh i used to have an answer for this but she probably doesnt now just bc shes pretty nomadic and usually only has the clothes on her back lmao17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?cameras dont exist in her world my dudee. but if she lived in modern day which ive thought of, shed be the type to take a bunch of pics of her friends and stuff she likes bc she likes having the memory in a solid form, her actual memory is shit lol18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elsehmm i suppose shed be a horror fan, and shed love making fun of stupid characters19. What’s their least favourite genres?man idk. romance? shes kinda #2edgy4me20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?hmm i think shes more a soft music fan, just something idly playing in the background. ex. a bard playing something for the crowd while she kicks back w friends21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?she has a short temper. shes easily triggered with any emotion so shes quick to argue or whatever22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?id like to think shes witty, and she always says stuff to peoples faces bc a bitch has rabies and wants to fight apparently23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?bad memory, shes gone through physical torture and isolation [wew] so. shes better at names, growing up with royals she got to learn a bunch of family names etc24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?a light sleeper. crazy light. and she can sleep anywhere, so she has no problems sleeping on the ground unlike others25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?she pretends to be stoic but when u get to know her her humour’s pretty lame, shell laugh at anything if just to make u feel better26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? she tends to hide them under an indifferent mask27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?despite being able to hide her emotions, she does succumb to fear a lot and cries openly, but will continue to do whatever shes doing through tears so shes scary in that regard28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?abandonment is a huge one. shes not a fan of predatory animals. shes brave though, and will do whatevers necessary, kinda like unwilling exposure therapy lol29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? she doesnt like exploiting people so shell never use someones fear against them. for friends, shell protect them and warn them if something like that is gonna happen30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?lmao she walks or goes horse riding everywhere and is severely malnourished31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?i just wrote a scene like this!! shes louder in general, laughs more. her guard comes down more and more with every drink. she can hold her liquor pretty well but when shes blacked out shes pretty much useless32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?she prefers comfort and mobility over everything else. she tends to dress pretty masculine, and never does anything with her hair. does she know what a brush is?33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?...................ask her lol idk. probably just basic comfy ones34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?she is 5′9. when shes healthy, she has a willowy figure but more on the boxy side than curvy. she doesnt really attribute much to her body [imagine living life without dysmorphia mfg]35. What��s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? i dont she counts anything as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. she just enjoys what she enjoys, fuck whatever people think36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?she loves fishing! she used to do it a lot with her dad. i dont think shes a particularly good singer37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?yeah she likes reading. she reads pretty fast and prefers nonfiction. she thinks poetry can get too pretentious lmao38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?#deep but i think she admires kindness and care in others. she wishes she was a better person at times and wants to be able to express how much people meant to her39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? lmao letters are the only thing in her world. if she lived w us shed probably be all about texting 600 in a row and then calling when u dont reply “what do u mean you cant answer. its called INSTANT messaging for a reason!!”40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?she stays awake through sheer willpower shes a beast41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?shes bi/pan. not really a thing about labels in her world. she loves long hair and soft personalities42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?plot spoilers!!43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?shes not religious. there is a heavy theme of religion in the novel [which i need to write better in the second draft] but she was kinda skeptical as a child and probably lost faith entirely after she went through some harrowing stuff 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? winter. she prefers the cold and hates heat45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? i think people see her as scarier than she is. shes a formidable opponent and does not give a fuck what you say, but her reputation precedes her a little bit, a lot of things she did out of fear or force are seen as ‘badass’ and ‘brave’46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?shes a compulsive liar, and a good one at that. so she tends to show herself differently to almost everyone she meets, but usually its a false potrayal47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?ugh she haaaaaates formal stuff and parties. she grew up royal and had to suffer through many a dinner and gathering. at this point in her life youd never get her in a dress that impeded her movement. shes ok with dresses but really big poofy ones she refuses to wear48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? in our world shed be one for a chill house party. show up with a case of beer, sit outside by the barbie, listen to music and talk shit. shes not good at organising so she doesnt tend to host, and if she were dragged by a friend itd probably be to a formal event or with people she didnt know so shed just sulk in the corner49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?she abandoned her material possessions before the story a. bc she was forced and b. they bring back way too many painful memories50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? food, change of clothes, weapons. thats about it. she tries not to be super nasty and find an inn to shower and stuff but shes also poor af

#writing #this was really helpful actually!!!!#i realise how much of my flaws and traumas i project onto her #love a self-insert/emotional support character #cloudybookash

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