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nevertheless-moving · 3 months

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I'm not quite there yet but I KNOW that after wind and truth featuring Szeth and Kaladin's Unwell Adventure, I WILL be adding Kalaszeth to my all encompassing mental cabinet of beloved possible Kaladin ships.

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Which introduces a new funniest time travel companion for a new funniest post book 5 time travel scenario.

Stormlight au 31:

Szeth, having jump scared the bridge crew by appearing lightly glowing in the dark while they were having stew, been hastily ushered by the captain into the bridge four barrack, only to sit on the floor and stare dead eyed at nothing: Kaladin, standing between the crew and the man on the floor:

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Lopen looked around. As usual, he could tell that the men were silently crying out for him, the Lopen, to take charge and speak.

"So!" he said cheerfully. "Gotta say gancho, very excited to meet an old friend of yours! Nice to take some mystery out of that mysterious past of yours, eh?"

Kaladin shifted from foot to foot, face twisting a bit. He had been acting strange since that terrifying glowy high storm vision of his a few days back. Even more broody than usual, which was storming saying something.

"It must be difficult," Rock said slowly. "Being Shin man with great powers and shardblade."

A shardblade which he had summoned unceremoniously, causing all of bridge four to scramble for weapons, only for the crazy man to hand it to Kaladin with a mumble, then sit on the floor.

Kaladin had sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before placing it, very, very carefully, under his bed.

A storming shardblade. Under the Captain's bed.

"A Shin with a shardblade who wears white," Moash added sarcastically, eyes flickering to the Captain's bed even more than usual.

(White may have been a stretch, what with all the mud and possibly dried blood. Still. Lopen could perhaps see Moash's point.)

"Yes," Rock said. "Why, were I more suspicious man, I would say Captain, this man on the floor, he can not be Assassin in White? Surely most wanted, most dangerous man in all Roshar is not here, in the place we sleep, asking for aid. Surely it would have been mentioned if this man who caused the war we even now are a part of, was old friend of yours?"

"I..." Kaladin trailed off. "I promised to try and protect..."

The whole bridge crew groaned, Skar even throwing his spear at the ground. Bad form, that.

"Storm's sake lad!" Teft growled, arms in the air. "You can't befriend and save every wanted criminal you meet!"

"If it is of help -"

The men started at the unnerving dead voice coming from the so far quiet assassin.

"We are not truly friends. Merely -"

He said a word, presumably in his language, then frowned, the first recognizably human emotion that had crossed his face.

"I do not know this word in Alethi. In Azish it is I think -"

He said something that made Sigzil choke on air, jaw dropping. "Uh," the Worldsinger stammered out. "I. Ah. I think. That might be the wrong term."

The Captain seemed to pale slightly. "Szeth, we can talk about that later," he said quickly. "We should probably figure out a plan for you to surrender to Dalinar - or Elokhar - without you getting immediately executed - Yes, Dalinar is probably-"

"Perhaps," Sigzil interrupted, voice higher than usual. "You could define the meaning of the word you used before."

"Sigzil!" The captain hissed.

"Captain?" Sigzil challenged, voice still slightly too high.

"I was emotionally and mentally unwell," the assassin in white said in his monotone. He paused. "Even more so than currently."

A few of the men took a step back.

"Stormblessed..." he looked up at Kaladin, and his voice seemed to soften, just the slightest bit. "He felt pity for me. Then he helped me feel. Helped me think that perhaps, someday I would feel the desire for life. He did this despite no great love for my being."

Many of the men nodded at that. Sigzil's shoulders slumped in relief.

"He accomplished this primarily by fucking me in a cave."

The nods froze. Sigzil closed his eyes.

The Captain slapped a hand to his face.

"The translation for this from my language would be 'pity fuck', but there is more cultural nuance..." The Assassin shrugged. "In any case it is not a bond such as that of friendship. My soul is still far too damaged for that."

"Szeth..." The Captain said, looking down at him with obvious concern. He glanced at the room, blanched at the men's expressions, then slowly pressed his head back into his hand.

Moash made an indecipherable noise and stomped towards the door, before making another noise and stomping back.

The Captain kept his palm pressed to his face.

A sudden wave of epiphany hit Lopen. "Hold on. Now hold on just a storming minute!"

The room turned slowly from staring at their Stormblessed leader to staring at Lopen.

He pointed accusingly at the Captain. When the man failed to pull his massive hand from his beautiful face, Lopen faced the others, glaring.

"I know that I joined bridge four late! But are you telling me that before I got here, the whole famous 'pulling everyone out of bridge crew misery' was actually the captain...I mean did storming all of you..."

He made a deliberate gesture, pointer finger moving extra emphatically to make up for the missing hand with which to form a hole, meeting each man's eyes with a challenge.

Drehy let out a wheeze. He and Skar looked at each other before dissolving into quiet, helpless laughter. Drehy sank to his hands and knees, wheezing more, and Skar bent over, tears streaming down his face as he gasped around his laughing.

"That ain't an answer!" he said indignantly.

He looked at Teft, but the older man had put both hands over his face. His shoulders seem to shake occasionally. Lopen's eyes narrowed as he turned to Rock.

The horneater had a hand over his mouth, but he brought it down, coughing once as he stroked his beard.

"What," Rock said mildly. "You thought it my stew that bring back men's will to live? You honor me, the Lopen."

Lopen gaped at that, and he wasn't the only one. The handful of other 'late' additions, men who had been rescued on the field from other crews, started in shock.

The rest of the crew completely lost it at that point.

Skar and Drehy collapsed further, banging their fists on the floor. Bissig started laughing as well, falling onto Natam, who had made a strange grunting whine at Lopen's question, a whine which grew louder at Rock's reply.

Moash's lips turned up reluctantly before a snort escaped against his will. He fell back against a wall, knees seeming to grow weak. Another snort. "Imagine!" he gasped out. "If he just started punching people in the stomach, ran around like a madman, and expected people to follow him!"

Leyten went from chuckling to a booming laugh at that, clutching at Pete and Yake to stay upright. He looked at Lopen, who made another questioning gesture. That was enough to send all three toppling over, Leyten loud enough to be heard the next barrack over.

Renarin squeaked from the corner as Natam hit the wall beside him in mirth, howling. Talek's breath, he had forgotten the lad was there, light eyes wide in shock.

Shen was next to him. Was it Lopen's imagination, or did even his eyes seemed to be sparkling with mirth? No storming way...not the parshman...the Captain wouldn't...

"Crazy!" Torfin agreed, cackling. "What kind of idiots would start pooling all their pay to buy storming bandages for doomed men, start laughing during chasm duty, swear to stand by their storming bridge, if they didn't have at least one, um - uh -"

"Stormblessing!" Leyten offered with a gasp from the ground.

Torfin pointed at him, "Stormblessing!" he repeated with a yell. "To remind them that life was worth living!"

Lopen narrowed his eyes, finally coming to a conclusion. "You fellows are taking the piss out on me," he accused.

"You know Captain," Drehy said, whole body heaving, tears still streaming down his face as he lay helplessly on the floor. "I still get nightmares."

This inspired a new wave of laughter mixed with jeers about their own issues, and suggestions for how the captain could help. Lopen shook his head, grinning widely at the room full of uproarious men. Some of his best work. And mostly achieved on accident, which was the best kind of accomplishment!

The Captain finally pulled his hand from his face. There was color high in his cheeks, and he was frowning, but the corners of his eyes were creased with suppressed laughter.

"Sorry Drehy, one time offer," he said dryly, to hoots.

And Lopen," he said, faux apologetic. "I am sorry for the oversight. I... didn't realize you were interested."

The crew edged well into hysteria, most men only able to breathe in strangled gasps and wheeze out an occasional ''Stormblessing!'

Bridge four's captain was good at playing straight man, when the mood struck him.

The Lopen huffed, but decided magnanimously to move past the slight to his honor. Even if it turned out they weren't joking.

"It's still nice to be included," he sniffed. "Ain't that right, Renarin."

The Brightlord seemed to shrink as attention was drawn towards him, face a brilliant red as he pressed into the corner. Some of the laughter trailed off as the crew remembered he was there. More of it got louder, even less uncontrolled.

The Captain's eyes widened and the flush on his cheeks spread to his ears.

"Renarin! Oh - Jezrianssake, the men are full of chullshit, alright? I didn't - that wasn't -"

The Captain gestured helplessly. "The thing with Szeth was - we were - the world was going to -"

He threw up his arms as Renarin's eyes just got wider.

"It was the stew!" He said desperately, turning to look at Eth, who looked bemused back at him. "It really was the stew!" He pleaded.

"I know Captain," Eth said soothingly. "I know I came in a bit later, but I know. That's not exactly something these idiots would be able to keep secret."

"Things might have gone faster, though..." Skar said leadingly, which set off another round of helpless groans and gasps for air.

The Captain rolled his eyes, scoffing, still the perfect comedic straight man.

...He did get the whole joke though, right? The bit of truth in the jeers? The Lopen was not generally interested in the more manly sex but Storms. It was sometimes hard to tell if the Captain realized just how pretty he was, just how much people reacted to his general...Stormblessedness. Not to mention the glowing! Everyone loves a man who can glow and run up walls.

Hm. Maybe that helped explain the Captain and the Assassin.

Moash stumbled, still snorting, over to the Man in White - to Szeth - looking down at him, appraising.

Kaladin grew tense.

Gancho had been especially strange around Moash for the last few days.

"Assassin," he said thoughtfully. "Are you sure it was just pity?"

The wide eyed man, who had remained utterly impassive as the room fell apart around him, cocked his head as Moash leaned down.

"There's a certain kind of person who finds killing light eyes, especially powerful lighteyes, a rather..."

Kaladin cleared his throat, interrupting. "We're not killing the king."

Moash turned sharply, glaring at Kaladin.

"I do not wish to kill anymore," Szeth whispered. He paused, then spoke again.

"I will kill if the Blackthorn orders, or if you ask, Kaladin Stormblessed, son son Tanavast."

Kaladin winced. "Maybe let's not mention...that whole last part when we go to the King. We...we should definitely practice exactly how we're going to explain all this."

He starting towing the still blank faced - no there was a bit of confusion there, if you were looking - infamous Assassin to his office, the men letting out the best jeers they could (considering their incoherent state) as they went.

"You should for sure mention the 'pity fuck' thing though," Lopen called helpfully. "The King will definitely be interested in that."

#Stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #My au #stormlight fanfic #Stormlight au no 31 #Szeth/Kaladin #Words of Radiance au #lopen and szeth: untapped comedy tagteam??#lopen szeth and kaladin: three people who will just fucking say things???#i made myself laugh and as always that's whats important #New most entertaining kaladin sexuality: sex positive ace whose thing specifically is #he WILL happily have sex but ONLY if it will be emotionally healing for the other party #bridge four: that's just pity fu-#kaladin: IT'S PART OF A JOURNEY TOWARDS MENTAL RECOVERY I DON'T KNOW OKAY I'M STILL INVENTING THERAPY #wind and truth speculation #rhythm of war spoilers #crack #you know those two glowing men are going to have some feelings at the very least while adjacent to each other.#overnight in a cave is optional i can supply that myself if need be #cosmere #nevertheless cosmere

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mihai-florescu · 23 days

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But truly stanning real life idols is so wild to me... they dont even have a narrative purpose, thats just a person...

#saw a thread of 'kpop idols with the most natural personalities' and it made me think...reflect i guess #i like the music i just dont understand the appeal of caring for musicians personalities #i tried to force myself back in my bandom days but i couldnt make myself care enough...#i did have actual parasocial relationships with youtubers but that feels different #will be reflecting on it further as i unwind for the day...#i think the yt thing mightve been related to the fact that i was 13. but i got into the emo trinity then too musically so #theres something else #hmm #i suppose i did watch yt as if they werent quite real but a form of entertainment whereas i saw musicians as artists?#not sure

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taikanyohou · 2 years

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TEAM + WIN | Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) / Between Us (2022). VEGAS + PETE | KinnPorsche (2022).

#vegaspete #teamwin #kinnporsche #until we meet again #between us #asianlgbtqdramas #*#faiza gifs #listen i made this so selfishly for myself and my entertainment i love silhouettes and these 2 have PROVIDED for me.#my two most fave ships EVER EVER EVER????#YEAH.#and listen its not about comparison of how healthy teamwin is vs how toxic vegaspete is #bc lemme tell yall teamwin GO THROUGH IT in the novel and it ISNT all sunshine and rainbows and roses for them AT ALL.#team can be a LITTLE SHIT when he wants to be and be cold and distant like. yeah.#but yeah its just about the VIBES. like. there is TRUMA embedded in BOTH couples bc of Bad Fathers and not being Seen by people but rather #used and putting up a Front.#ANYWAY #colouring this was SOOOO much fun ugh i LOVE how this came out now WATCH TUMBLR MOBILE RUIN IT.

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i-drew-a-ferret · 2 years

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Blitzo’s balloon horse is better.

no I am not joking, just hear me out here.

You see this? Fizzarolli made a balloon animal the way anyone else would. It’s perfectly fine, nothing wrong with it, but anyone can do it. I just learned how to make balloon animals and got that down in under 10 minutes. Blitzo on the other hand made one without legs. You’d think it would be easier, but no, that simplicity is an illusion. An illusion which your first attempt at balloon twisting will shatter.

For those who don’t know, the body, neck, and tail segments of your typical balloon animal will not stay in place without legs. They need a lock twist provided by the legs, to make them behave. And yet here, we see, Blitzos balloon horse has no legs, but he is not holding the neck and tail in place. They stand tall on their own, a monument to his skill and our hubris in thinking it would be so simple.

Now I took it upon myself to create this balloon horse. First, this is what it should look like if you were to go about it like a regular balloon animal:

Without the lock twists, you’d only have a head on a stick. A warning to other balloon horses that they may lose more than their legs, but not much else. Notice the extra un-inflated balloon near the end. This would ordinarily provide air to make the leg twists, however those do not exist in this balloon horse. Clearly Blitzo wasn’t using beginners strategies, he was doing something more complicated.

Next, if you inflated it as you went, tying off the different segments as you would the open end of the balloon:

A limp, dead, horse. It clearly lost it’s life at the same time as its legs. It has defined segments, but little else is going for it. You can hold it up to make it look something like Blitzos horse:

This would be what an amateur would do to make a legless balloon horse. Hold it’s neck and tail, or perhaps use tape if they feel so inclined, but Blitzo is no amateur. If you pay attention to how he holds his cursed worm horse, you’ll see that his hand is flat against it’s belly. He offers no support to either it’s neck or tail, but still it stands.

Finally, if you inflated it as you went, used double knots carefully positioned so that the segments would lean in the right direction, twisted the head three times (for some reason it wouldn’t work until I did), and sacrificed hours of your life to make this accursed balloon horse:

You would have this. You may be wondering: Why is it pink? well you see, I ran out of green balloons trying to make this wretched beast. Here we have a legless worm horse. Hell Fucking Yeah.

Now not only did Blitzo flawlessly make a more complicated balloon animal, but when the crowd was not impressed with his skills he used his encyclopedic knowledge of horses to save the performance with a joke. Sadly, the joke relied on the audience also having an encyclopedic knowledge of horses, so it fell flat.

I think with all the evidence I provided, you’ll have to agree that Blitzo made an infinitely more impressive balloon horse than Fizzarolli.

I rest my case.

#helluva boss #blitzo #Why did I do this? simple. My adhd made me #that was so hard omg #also I am aware that the story-boarders and animators likely just didn't know how balloon animals work #but I wanted to make a comical rant about it anyways #because I personally find it funny #and my main goal is to entertain myself

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livetogether--diealone · 8 months

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freshly steamed dumpling

#rewarding my poor followers with gifs specifically made to entertain myself #well yeah #we're chilling now i'm also a little tired #the evening or diff time zones gang can enjoy these #sebastian vettel #f1 #singapore gp 2017 #also the way he talk about his pole lap here is just so damn precious #jo.gif

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gardenofnoah · 11 months

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Beloved Bea! Lately I’ve been thinking about longing for the untouchable. Repressed emotions. Trying so hard to be professional and cool about this when really you’re so in love every time you accidentally lock eyes your heart begs for mercy like a lovesick teenager. Sending you good vibes for writing 🌷

sera....your brain........... cw: implied power dynamic (boss/employee)

if there was ever another time you wished for the ability to rip the doors off of an elevator, it would pale in comparison to the way you wish for it right now.

every slow-passing floor of this god forsaken building pulls another bead of sweat to your brow. you clear your throat for the third time in less than a minute, silently pleading with the car to either hurry in its descent or bless you with a little more air--something there seems to be less of with every second that drags on.

"are you sick?" nanami's gaze falls on you out of the corner of his eye, and you fight both the urge to shrink from it and the one that tells you to take up the entirety of his vision and yell please look at me!

"no, nanami-san." you avoid his eyes entirely. for reasons you do not understand, yours linger on the empty space on his left ring finger reflecting back at you from the metal doors that just won't open.

"i told you, you should call me kento."

and you should be at your floor and out of this damned elevator by now. you should keep walking right through the front door and never come back to this office. you should forget about this weird little obsession you seem to have with the man that signs your paychecks. and you should never call him by his given name.

not now that you've woken up calling it out for the past few nights.

"i apologize, sir."

you hear him let out a quiet sigh--one that you refuse to believe sounds a little disappointed. out of the corner of your eye you see him reach up to loosen his tie, and you can't recall ever doing anything bad enough to be subjected to this.

he loops a thick finger through the silk fabric and tugs and you clear your throat again, this time to cut off a nearly involuntary whimper at the sight. it's so obvious and humiliating that you start to consider actually trying to rip the doors open, but in a moment of blessed mercy, the car dings to announce it's arrival to your floor.

"by the way," nanami's voice stops you as you're halfway out of the elevator, "if you have time, i'd like you to meet me in my office later. i'd like to discuss your goals for your future with our company."

you feel yourself flush at the low rumble of his voice--and at the (probably completely made up) implication of his request. you nod quickly, turning on your heel and booking it back to your desk.

surely the tiny smirk on his face as the elevator doors closed was a trick of the light.

#i don't know that this was the tone you were asking for sera but this trope makes me giggle #fun fact about me. sometimes if i'm bored at a job i'll fabricate a whole crush just to entertain myself #i love a little good hearted drama #that's completely made up and known only by me #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jjk drabble #nanami kento #nanami drabble #nanamin it’s the little things #bea writes ♡

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